Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
You definitely shouldn't make those noises to start off a podcast, Tom Papa. | ||
What are you doing? | ||
You're freaking people out. | ||
What is it called? | ||
ASMR? Do you know what that is? | ||
Yeah, like when you... | ||
People like certain sounds? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
They find them soothing? | ||
I don't think that's one of them. | ||
This is what I use to drive my kids crazy. | ||
I say it's a spoon in mac and cheese. | ||
Yeah, they're like, oh my god, I thought my dad was funny professionally. | ||
This is ridiculous. | ||
They probably think they're going to starve to death. | ||
This is crazy. | ||
My younger one, who's like comedian funny, this is her thing. | ||
So she doesn't care about parents or what we're doing. | ||
She's just out for herself. | ||
Whenever I make a joke around the house that I think is funny, she just goes, huh, jokes. | ||
How old is she? | ||
14. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
Do you think she'll be a comic? | ||
Yeah. | ||
She could be. | ||
Wow. | ||
She definitely could be. | ||
You have a healthy household. | ||
It is healthy. | ||
That doesn't seem like a good recipe for comedy. | ||
Right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Well, you know, it takes all kinds. | ||
It does take all kinds. | ||
Have you met anybody that came from a good childhood that's really funny? | ||
You? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really? | ||
I'm pretty funny. | ||
You're very funny. | ||
But you came from no problems at all? | ||
I think every kid... | ||
Did you move around a lot? | ||
I moved once, one town over, and it traumatized me. | ||
In third grade. | ||
unidentified
|
Third grade? | |
Yeah. | ||
I'm still not over it. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
But I think that everybody has, I think as a child, even if it's not real heavy stuff, it feels heavy to you. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Like my father was super strict and like, you know, spanked us and stuff and I was like this nervous, you know what I mean? | ||
So I think you can grow up pretty normal and be pretty funny, you know? | ||
It's like a line with kids. | ||
It's like you don't want to be mad at them, but you can't let them get away with too much. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So you have to go, hey, hey, seriously, stop screaming at me. | ||
Stop this. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, you can't do this. | ||
Because every now and then, they'll test. | ||
Totally. | ||
Because they fight amongst each other. | ||
Like, I have daughters that are two years apart. | ||
They'll fight amongst each other. | ||
That's what I am. | ||
And every now and then, they'll turn it on you. | ||
And you're like, hey, hey, hey. | ||
Yeah, hey. | ||
I didn't touch your toys. | ||
I'm not wearing your pants. | ||
Yeah, I'm the good guy. | ||
No, it is a weird thing, especially when you know how you were as a kid. | ||
And, you know, we've got daughters, and they're probably similar, where they're not as nutso as we were when we were little. | ||
But you still have to bring the hammer down, even though you think it's kind of funny, or you think it's not that big a deal. | ||
You have to lay down the law, even if... | ||
You don't feel it. | ||
You have to enforce some guidelines, and then you have to communicate about why those guidelines exist. | ||
What I didn't get enough of, I think, when I was a kid is communication about why those guidelines exist. | ||
Because in the moment, the kid's not going to internalize it. | ||
They're going to be mad. | ||
I wanted to do this, and I wanted to do that. | ||
And they just have it in their head. | ||
I want to play one more game. | ||
Why can't I just play one more game? | ||
They'll just get freaked out. | ||
Because what we heard was, because I said so. | ||
Yes, exactly. | ||
There was no reason. | ||
There was nothing behind it. | ||
Just go to bed. | ||
Why at 7 o'clock? | ||
Because I said so. | ||
All right. | ||
Yeah, well, we don't put parameters on play, though, like as much. | ||
We put parameters on, you can only have a certain amount of television time, a certain amount of video game time. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
But as far as play-play, like doing stuff, like playing in the pool or doing other stuff, I don't feel like there's any... | ||
You could play in the pool all day. | ||
All day. | ||
I'm happy for it. | ||
It's interesting, right? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
And it's probably... | ||
They're learning more from that than anything else that they would be doing. | ||
Right, but it's purely play. | ||
But all play is not considered equal. | ||
Like play when you're sedentary in front of a video screen and you're playing some silly video game. | ||
Right. | ||
And you're just sitting there, and just your brain, to be physical, to be out, to be doing something. | ||
But they do have this one game that I'll let them play for a long time. | ||
It's this crazy dance game. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Dance Revolution? | ||
I don't know what it's called, but they dance. | ||
And you mimic the thing? | ||
They dance to, what's her face? | ||
Crazy. | ||
What's Crazy's face? | ||
Oops, I did it again. | ||
Britney Spears. | ||
They dance to, you better work, bitch. | ||
You want a Maserati? | ||
unidentified
|
You better work. | |
It's hilarious. | ||
But that's exercise. | ||
Have you done it with them? | ||
Yes. | ||
It's funny. | ||
I've only done it, honestly, a couple times. | ||
They've probably played it a million times. | ||
But you have to coordinate your movements to mirror the person on the screen. | ||
But my instincts are to not mirror, but to do what he's doing. | ||
If his right arm's going up, my right's going up. | ||
Because that's how you get taught in martial arts. | ||
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing that or if I'm supposed to be just mirroring him. | ||
Like when he lifts up his right arm, am I supposed to lift up my left arm? | ||
Because that's the one that faces me? | ||
Is that how you're supposed to do it? | ||
No. | ||
You do whatever you see. | ||
Yeah, but then you have to switch it over in your head. | ||
Why don't you... | ||
That arm? | ||
Okay, I'll go with you. | ||
I'll do this arm. | ||
Well, you shouldn't be high when you do this with your children. | ||
That's the only way I'm going to do it. | ||
It seems like, though, that it would be easier for all involved, if you just had the mirror, not do the same exact side of their body as your body. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I've never gotten that deep because I've done it and then quickly became exhausted and just pretended I thought it was stupid so I could lay down. | ||
Well, it's critical in martial arts that you, like, if you're learning something, if you prefer, like, especially kickboxing. | ||
For most fighters, most fighters have one good side and one side that they're not so good at. | ||
Right. | ||
And, like, the really great fighters, like, one of the best in the world today is Terrence Crawford. | ||
And one of the things about him is he can fight equally well from southpaw or from orthodoxy. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So will he switch his stance? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
He'll do whatever he wants. | ||
Wow. | ||
He just fucks people up. | ||
He does whatever he wants. | ||
I mean, he fights really top-shelf competition, too, and he's just so technical and so clever at figuring people out. | ||
But I think he has a giant advantage in that he literally is as good a southpaw as he is at orthodox. | ||
He can box the best boxers in the world orthodox. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Right. | ||
And then they just switch up southpaw on them. | ||
He might be a little better as a southpaw, but goddamn it's so close. | ||
It might also be that he's fucking their head up because they fought him one way and then he switches stances and starts fucking them up the other way. | ||
Is he born that way? | ||
No, no. | ||
It's a learned thing. | ||
But my point would be, if you had a southpaw instructor and he was teaching you and you were mirroring him, it would be weird. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
If someone's teaching you something, you want to see how their body's doing it and mimic their movements. | ||
You want to see it and mimic their movements. | ||
You don't want to mirror it. | ||
That would be too confusing. | ||
Which is interesting because it seems like the mirroring would work better if it was the stupid video game. | ||
You know, cause like, lift your arm. | ||
unidentified
|
I'll do what you do. | |
Lift the leg. | ||
I'll do what you do. | ||
Kickboxing or any, I think any martial arts style. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, it's messed you up. | ||
You can't be a good dance revolutionary. | ||
Someone's gotta walk you through it too. | ||
Dance, dance, revolutionary. | ||
I'm probably doing everything wrong. | ||
I'm probably risking all these joints. | ||
You know who could dance? | ||
Like, really dance? | ||
Fahim. | ||
Fahim? | ||
Do you know Fahim Anwar? | ||
No. | ||
You don't know him from the store? | ||
Is he on tomorrow? | ||
He's on tomorrow. | ||
He's hilarious. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
Really funny guy. | ||
But his Instagram is filled with him dancing. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he dances really good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I was watching this, and I got a little self-conscious watching this. | ||
I was like, I don't think I could do any of this. | ||
And if I had to do this, like, watch. | ||
Watch him dance. | ||
I was like, if I had to do this, I would be so self-conscious that I was doing this. | ||
Like, look, he's really good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I made a New Year's resolution this year that I was going to dance more. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I haven't done it because of the same thing. | ||
I always feel like someone, Carol Liefer once said to me, you look like a guy who's never danced in his life. | ||
I was like, what do you mean? | ||
I've got some flow. | ||
Carol Liefer, she's fucking hilarious. | ||
Is he in Venice? | ||
Amsterdam? | ||
But that first thing I just showed you, Fortnite took a video from his that was six years old on his YouTube channel and just put it in the game this past week and are charging people money for it. | ||
Wow. | ||
And he's not making any money? | ||
Most likely not. | ||
This has happened over and over to people with their dances. | ||
Dude, look how good he dances. | ||
He's great. | ||
He's really funny, too. | ||
I can't do it. | ||
Really funny guy. | ||
And a super cool guy, too. | ||
He's filled with joy, obviously. | ||
You're not like an asshole if you dance like that. | ||
Good point. | ||
Right? | ||
Oh, for sure. | ||
That's a happy fella. | ||
That's a happy fella. | ||
He's a super nice guy. | ||
Super smart guy. | ||
Oh, cool. | ||
He had some sort of a technical job, didn't he? | ||
Wasn't he like on... | ||
We'll figure it out. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Someone told me he had some very intellectually strenuous job and then decided to bail on that to be a comedian. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Which makes sense. | ||
That's interesting. | ||
I hope that's a true story. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You never know with people, man. | ||
I know. | ||
You know? | ||
I know. | ||
I think that we probably could take a dance class together. | ||
Dude, I don't want to learn how to dance like that. | ||
I'm worried about my meniscus. | ||
My wife can really move. | ||
I have a meniscus issue. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
What's that? | ||
I tore something in my meniscus. | ||
What's the meniscus? | ||
In your knee? | ||
It's the padding in between your knee, in between your bones. | ||
You tore it? | ||
Yeah, not that bad. | ||
Like, it's a little tear, and I've been trying to deal with it without surgery, with stem cells. | ||
Oh, boy. | ||
You're really good at kicking. | ||
One of my favorite things is kicking things. | ||
It's hard for me to not kick things for a long time. | ||
And when I don't kick things, I just don't feel as good. | ||
We all have our things. | ||
Some people dance, some people kick things. | ||
I feel good when I hit that fucking bag. | ||
I like to smoke weed. | ||
I smoke like two or three hits. | ||
I get to a state of mind where I just feel my tendons. | ||
I feel my muscles and my bones. | ||
And then I just like to fucking zone out. | ||
I'll put on some Led Zeppelin or something like that. | ||
And I'll just start just going off on the back. | ||
And it becomes like you feel like you're just riding a wave of movement. | ||
You're not even thinking about it. | ||
You're not thinking about anything other than making sure that you don't do anything stupid in terms of launching a strike when the bag's in the wrong place where you could jam yourself or hurt yourself. | ||
So it's like you're just flowing around the bag. | ||
And it's just like you don't even have to hit it your hardest. | ||
It's more like you're in a dance. | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
And you're expressing yourself with the movements. | ||
But is there an age where that becomes like, I'm going to start tearing stuff a lot? | ||
Well, I just turned 52. I think it's about 51. Yeah. | ||
It might be time to concentrate on yoga. | ||
I love the yoga, too. | ||
Yoga's good, but it probably doesn't give you the same rush. | ||
It's a different rush. | ||
They're both great rushes, though. | ||
Yoga's a great rush. | ||
Yoga's great. | ||
The thing about the hitting things, though, that it leaves nothing, no violence in you. | ||
I don't know if that's real or if that's just, I've been doing it so long that it's just a normal part of my life. | ||
When I don't do it, I'm like a baby, and I want no aggression juice left in my body. | ||
I want to pound it all out. | ||
Nothing pounds it all out like hitting the bag. | ||
Yoga just straightens your brain out. | ||
Yeah, it's more of a mellow thing. | ||
But it straightens you out more without indulging you. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
It's like food, right? | ||
It's like if you were addicted to something, if you were doing it so often that you just needed to gorge and that's all you did, but you just kept getting fat because of that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You'd have to stop. | ||
And you would realize you'd have this urge to gorge. | ||
So I always wonder, when I want to do it, is that my urge to gorge? | ||
Do I just want to go fucking crazy and be self-indulgent? | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
Or is it that I'm really recognizing that there's a need that people have to have some explosive movements? | ||
And that if you get rid of that need, whether for me it's running up hills is a big one. | ||
It's one of the reasons why I like it. | ||
It's challenging. | ||
And it leaves me completely spent. | ||
And I feel like I'm a nicer person. | ||
I feel like I feel nicer. | ||
I want to be nicer to people. | ||
So that's not an aggressive hitting thing, though. | ||
But it's explosive. | ||
It's just, wah, because you're going up this fucking hill. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There are heavy hills out here. | ||
Would you feel the same way getting off of a treadmill? | ||
No. | ||
Or like when you do the elliptical? | ||
Yeah, that's great. | ||
I mean, that feels great. | ||
Right. | ||
But there's something about an actual physical hill that's outside in nature. | ||
You feel like, what if something was chasing me? | ||
Can I get away? | ||
How long can I do this for? | ||
What if I have to catch somebody? | ||
How could I get them? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, what if, you know, horrible things happen if I don't reach the top of this hill? | ||
Yeah, I always loved running through the woods. | ||
Ooh, scary. | ||
But it's exciting. | ||
There's something primal about it. | ||
There's something more at play than just, I'm just running down the street. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I think that... | ||
I have to write something down or I'm going to forget it. | ||
I think... | ||
I have this thing about the woods that I keep forgetting to do. | ||
I think that what you're describing in having the kick is... | ||
I equate it to stand-up. | ||
It's like I'm no longer the same person when I'm not doing stand-up for several days. | ||
And I think it's because I learned it. | ||
I created this addiction. | ||
I created this thing that I no longer am the same person without it. | ||
You became a junkie. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
We're all for sure laugh junkies. | ||
I think we are so lucky that regular people don't know what it feels like to get a big laugh. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Or they would do it. | ||
No one would do any other job. | ||
unidentified
|
I know. | |
They'd be like, fuck these other jobs. | ||
I want to kill. | ||
I think about that every time I walk through Vegas. | ||
And you see all these people like... | ||
Drinking at the tables, and they're trying to get a rush. | ||
They're trying to get something. | ||
And you walk around with this secret in your mind that, like, I'm getting something so much more potent than you're going to get out here just from being on stage. | ||
Joey Diaz did this bit the other night in the original room, and it was so hilarious. | ||
It was really fresh, and you could tell because it was making him laugh. | ||
And he was laughing. | ||
You know Joey's got that, ha ha! | ||
Fucking dying laughing, and I'm in the back of the room, and I'm like, you can't get any happier than that. | ||
That's as happy as a person can get. | ||
In those bursts of moments, other than the love of your children, that is as happy as you can ever get. | ||
Yeah, a new line, and it's working. | ||
The only thing that eclipses it is the love. | ||
Family love, people you care about, that's the only thing that eclipses it. | ||
No, you're right. | ||
But everybody can get that. | ||
Everybody can get the family love. | ||
So everybody can get the best kind of love. | ||
Yes. | ||
But it all takes work. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck yeah. | |
But I think when you have... | ||
I mean, it could be so small, too. | ||
It could be like one line that you added to an old joke that works. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
Your whole night is different. | ||
Your whole drive home is like, yes! | ||
Where if you don't try something and you just kind of go through it, it's not as satisfying. | ||
So you constantly have to keep pushing because you need that more potent rush. | ||
But the other side of it is, if I have a set and everything's amazing except one new line that I tried that ate shit... | ||
unidentified
|
That one new line will haunt me for days. | |
You're like, why did I say it that way? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Idiot. | ||
I know. | ||
It's like you're managing this weird thing. | ||
You know, like your act is this weird thing that you're producing and managing it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, constantly. | ||
Constantly. | ||
Constantly in your head, constantly tweaking, constantly trying to express, trying to... | ||
Have something that you think, oh, this is... | ||
It's almost like the cockier you are, it's so rare when you feel like this is going to be a great one. | ||
And you bring it up and it works. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It never matches expectations. | ||
But if you think, maybe this will work. | ||
Those I love because they surprise you. | ||
It's like... | ||
This is funnier than even I thought. | ||
Yes, those are interesting, right? | ||
The setup is actually the funniest part of the joke. | ||
People are dying laughing at something in the setup, and you're like, oh yeah, okay, I see. | ||
Oh my god, why didn't I see that? | ||
And then you're like, yeah, that's funnier. | ||
That's the funnier part of it. | ||
But that's one of the weird things about having to do it in front of people. | ||
You have to do it in front of people. | ||
There's no other way. | ||
You can't really practice stand-up in a vacuum. | ||
No, I know. | ||
Back to the premise thing. | ||
Chris Rock said that to me once. | ||
He said, that's the greatest secret in comedy. | ||
He goes, it's the setup. | ||
That's the real joke. | ||
He said, the punchline, that's kind of icing. | ||
But you're nailing the joke in the setup. | ||
Yeah, and if you fuck up a setup, even if the rest of the joke is good, they always remember that fucked up part of the setup. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, why do you say it like that? | |
Why do you say that? | ||
It's such a weird little dance you play with your head. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You're trying to put it all in line and get all the bits together correctly. | ||
How big was that crowd you played? | ||
I saw on Instagram this weekend. | ||
Oh, that was in Portland, Portland, Oregon. | ||
It was big. | ||
It looked huge. | ||
Yeah, it was like 10,000 people. | ||
Now, what is that doing to your act and your performance? | ||
You have to slow down a little bit because it's so loud. | ||
You have to give them a little bit more time because I went to see Louis Black once. | ||
I didn't even realize this, and I had actually done theaters already, and I was even doing the very theater that he was in. | ||
And Joey Diaz and I were sitting in the back of this big theater that Louis Black was playing in, and we watched him. | ||
And he would hit a punchline, and all these people around us would be laughing really loud. | ||
And then he'd hit the tag, and I couldn't hear the tag, because there were so many people laughing at the punchline. | ||
I was like, oh. | ||
Right. | ||
It really cemented in my head. | ||
I was like, oh, this is a whole different feeling for the audience member than a club. | ||
Right. | ||
Because one of the crazy things about the original room. | ||
Right. | ||
Or a small room like that. | ||
When you hit a punchline, when everybody's laughing, you can hit a tag and they're going to hear it perfectly clearly. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because there's not enough people's laughter to overwhelm the sound of the speakers. | ||
Yeah, view on the microphone. | ||
But when there's 10,000 fucking people... | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You gotta give that one a little bit of air. | ||
Let it come back. | ||
Yeah, you gotta give those bits a little more air. | ||
But you adjust quickly. | ||
But do you feel... | ||
Are you happy doing it? | ||
Yes, it's fun. | ||
The only thing close is when I worked with Seinfeld, and we did one of the Fox theaters, and that was a little over 5,000. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is that the Detroit Fox Theater? | ||
No, it was Atlanta. | ||
And that started to feel a little out of my control. | ||
How many Fox Theaters are there, by the way? | ||
There might be a million of them. | ||
There's Fox, St. Louis, Atlanta. | ||
But is it the same company? | ||
Yeah, it was the same company. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
I thought maybe it was just a bunch of people naming their theater the Fox. | ||
No, no, no, no, no. | ||
It was like 20th Century Fox. | ||
If you decide I'm the Salmon Theater, do you own the Salmon Theater? | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
How can you own salmon? | ||
You can own salmon. | ||
unidentified
|
Right? | |
Now, fuck off. | ||
Come on. | ||
Like, if you have a band, you call your band Salmon. | ||
You can't name your band after shit that everybody knows the words to, or knows what it is. | ||
Right. | ||
A part of nature. | ||
It just seems weird. | ||
It's gotta be like Salmon Work Boot. | ||
You can't name... | ||
Could you name your... | ||
Like, if you named your beef... | ||
If you had a band, you named it Beef. | ||
You don't own Beef. | ||
Beef. | ||
You can't say that. | ||
You could trademark Beef. | ||
Beef for the name of a band? | ||
It's just such a common name. | ||
It's like you can't own it with anything else. | ||
But you know what? | ||
Does that make sense? | ||
Yeah, but I looked up yesterday, I was online, I was writing, and I looked up fun. | ||
Just the word fun. | ||
Somebody owns that? | ||
And there's a band, Fun. | ||
And everything that came up was Fun, the band. | ||
Fuck off. | ||
You can't have that name. | ||
unidentified
|
War. | |
Yeah, but that was a long time ago. | ||
That was when they were first making bands. | ||
Good God! | ||
What it is we're doing for? | ||
Absolutely nothing! | ||
Say it again! | ||
Dude. | ||
You know, we were at that Shoreline Amphitheater, and they have all these posters on the wall of different shows, and one of them was... | ||
It was Jimi Hendrix and... | ||
Fuck, what was the other band? | ||
Never heard of it. | ||
Some other insane band. | ||
Oh, Jimi Hendrix... | ||
Fuck, was it The Birds? | ||
It was The Birds and another band, but it was so crazy, like, looking at this thing, like, wow, like, this was a real show that you could have caught back then. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You could have walked into this theater. | ||
And seen Hendrix. | ||
And you could have watched Hendrix. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
That it was right there. | ||
I'm like, wow, and that night, he was there. | ||
So they were all in front, like, laughing and joking around. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
And someone snapped his picture. | ||
Jeez Louise. | ||
Sometimes a photo and you go, oh yeah, that's a photo from 1973. Yeah. | ||
No big deal. | ||
And sometimes one hits you and you go, whoa. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's Ronnie Van Zandt. | ||
Right, exactly. | ||
I go, what would it be like to be around that guy? | ||
Yeah, that's Miles Davis talking to Mick Jagger. | ||
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
Yeah, like someone was there with a fucking camera when that went down. | ||
I know. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
So I think that... | ||
Back to the Fox thing. | ||
How big was it? | ||
5,000? | ||
It was a little over 5,000. | ||
And that started to seem like something different from even like 4,000. | ||
It seemed like you're still in that club kind of theater back and forth. | ||
At 5, it started to feel like, ooh, this is... | ||
This is bigger than I can control. | ||
Right. | ||
Do you feel like you can control it in 10,000? | ||
We want to have a good time. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But do you feel like, you know what I mean? | ||
We did 25,000 in Tacoma. | ||
Did you really? | ||
Dave and I did, yeah. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
That's a lot of people. | ||
It feels insane. | ||
It has to feel insane. | ||
Oh my god, it's a fucking roar of humans. | ||
But it's fun. | ||
You know, it's like everybody was there to have a good time. | ||
Like, everybody's there for the same reason. | ||
And people keep it together remarkably well. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If you really stop and think about live events, like how well people... | ||
Like, we don't get enough credit. | ||
I know. | ||
For every nutty person who does something crazy. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Yeah. | ||
There's so many people that can keep it together. | ||
I know. | ||
It's really unfortunate that we view people the way we do sometimes because we concentrate on every single bad thing that happens in the news. | ||
I know. | ||
Yeah, there's a lot of bad things that happen in the news, but at scale, if you just have the scale of people, I think we're looking at it completely skewed. | ||
I think most people are really fine. | ||
Most people are cool. | ||
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They are. | |
Most people are nice. | ||
Right. | ||
because it's so spectacular that it scares the daylights out of everybody but i think the same thing it's like okay so this horrible thing happened on this night but think about how many people were out that night right think about how many people were filling amphitheaters and arenas and small shops and small clubs i I mean, just in America. | ||
Millions! | ||
And everybody's cool. | ||
Everyone's getting along. | ||
Everybody's doing the right thing. | ||
You're right. | ||
There is definitely a lot of cool people, but it's the spectacular. | ||
It's like a plane crash, right? | ||
There hasn't been a major plane crash in the US in a long time. | ||
But when it happens, it's so mind-blowing because something fell from the sky. | ||
It's a big deal. | ||
Yeah, it's a bigger deal than a train. | ||
A train crash that kills the same amount of people doesn't shock us as much. | ||
No. | ||
It's on the ground. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's like, that thing fell from the sky. | ||
What happened? | ||
We've all fantasized about how horrible that would be. | ||
It has a big impact. | ||
It has a real big impact. | ||
No, but that's amazing. | ||
There were 25,000 like-minded people just coming to laugh. | ||
They wanted to have a good time. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
That's the cool thing about even when you're at the improv or the comedy store. | ||
There's a group of people that comes to have a good time. | ||
There's always occasionally someone who's drunk and doesn't get it and they want to yell out and ruin things. | ||
But most of the clubs in town now are good at getting rid of those people. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, they're really good at it. | ||
But the vast majority of people are cool. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Vast majority. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, it's great. | ||
But when someone isn't cool, it's so disturbing. | ||
It's so obvious. | ||
That we think about people in that regard. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, we think about people like as... | ||
No, yeah. | ||
The worst possible scenario. | ||
Like, did you see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? | ||
I did. | ||
So those flower kids, right? | ||
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|
Yeah. | |
The murderous flower, the Manson kids. | ||
The Manson kids, yeah. | ||
That's like worst case scenario. | ||
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|
Yeah. | |
Sometimes we think about people just on, you know, just because that's a possibility. | ||
It's such a glaring one. | ||
But it gets a disproportionate amount of energy and interest. | ||
Because for the most part, most people... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Are super fine. | ||
Most people are great. | ||
Most people are friendly. | ||
Most people just want to have a good time in this life. | ||
They're not assholes. | ||
Right, exactly. | ||
And even the Manson kids, there's probably a couple of them that were fun. | ||
I bet there was. | ||
The girl who took off. | ||
The girl who was like, hey, I'll be right back. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
That girl in real life did take off. | ||
No, who is it? | ||
In real life? | ||
Who? | ||
Do you watch Stranger Things? | ||
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Yes. | |
She's Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman's daughter. | ||
What? | ||
Yes! | ||
Wow. | ||
Yes. | ||
She was the one in the two who worked in the ice cream shop. | ||
Oh, that's crazy. | ||
Yeah, that's her. | ||
Okay, what I thought you were going to say, the actual Manson kid that did take off. | ||
Because there wasn't... | ||
What's that? | ||
I thought you meant the one in real life. | ||
Oh, in real life. | ||
Yeah, you confuse the shit out of everybody. | ||
I'm so sorry. | ||
Did you see that story going around? | ||
When we were talking about it the other day, that story with Bruce Lee that was loosely based in reality had to do with Gene LaBelle. | ||
Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
He was a stuntman on the Green Hornet or something like that. | ||
Okay, well, let me tell you this then. | ||
He said it wasn't real, though. | ||
Let me tell you this thing, because talking from Gene, Gene was always... | ||
I've known Gene for years. | ||
He's always super respectful about Bruce Lee. | ||
But he's also... | ||
Okay, let me put it this way. | ||
If that actually did happen that way, if Bruce Lee fought Gene LaBelle, Gene LaBelle would grab a hold of him and obliterate his brain on the concrete 100 out of 100 times. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Let me just say that. | ||
So, I'm not talking about the movie. | ||
And there was a thing in the movie where I felt like they made Bruce Lee seem like a buffoon. | ||
And I'm like, ooh, I don't think he was ever really like that. | ||
This is like kind of an important historical figure for martial arts. | ||
And I get it's just a crazy Quentin Tarantino movie. | ||
And I get it. | ||
The end of the movie did not, I mean, spoiler alert, I don't want to say what happened, but he takes liberties for entertainment's sake with a lot of different things. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But with that one, I was like, ooh, I'm just going to have some random dude that is a stuntman and Bruce Lee's a buffoon to him and he kicks his ass on the set. | ||
But with that said, if that was a real-life event with Gene LaBelle and Bruce Lee, Gene LaBelle would crush him. | ||
So Gene LaBelle could have... | ||
He's a gorilla. | ||
That would have been him in that scene. | ||
Oh, yeah, but it would have been quick. | ||
Right. | ||
It would have been a different thing, man. | ||
He's a gorilla. | ||
Right. | ||
I mean, he's like a judo champion with a severe arsenal of neck cranks and joint locks, and he is strong like a fucking bear. | ||
I mean, dude, in his prime, he was a tank of a man. | ||
Really? | ||
Far bigger than Bruce Lee. | ||
Oh, wait. | ||
Bruce Lee was small, right? | ||
He was a small guy. | ||
Look, Bruce Lee was an innovator in martial arts and one of my personal heroes. | ||
He's like the most important early innovator because he was the first guy to think that you should combine the best elements of all these different styles. | ||
When I was coming up, man, I was doing Taekwondo, and you were brainwashed to think that Taekwondo was the best martial art. | ||
Everything else was bullshit, and you shouldn't even practice it. | ||
So if I was practicing other stuff, like I was doing some boxing, I'd get some frowns from some people. | ||
It was like a thing. | ||
And if you were in some schools that were less open-minded than mine, you know, my school was a little more practical than some of them, but some of them, they would say, Kung Fu or death. | ||
Like, all they wanted to do was fucking Kung Fu. | ||
They're doing this shit in the park. | ||
And you couldn't say, hey, man, a wrestler's going to grab ahold of you, and he's going to just pound you into a fucking tree, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. | ||
They're just pure... | ||
There's Gene LaBelle who was in a bunch of different movies as a stuntman back in the day. | ||
Oh yeah, that looks like Green Hornet. | ||
That's him. | ||
Yeah, they became friends. | ||
They were very good friends. | ||
And he had nothing but good things to say about Bruce Lee. | ||
But he said he taught Bruce Lee a lot. | ||
Like some of the moves that Bruce Lee used in Arm Bar in one of the early scenes in Game of Death. | ||
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
That was from Gene LaBelle. | ||
Gene LaBelle, I guarantee you, helped him here. | ||
But look at this. | ||
If Gene LaBelle really wanted to grab a hold of Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee would be unconscious, as would I, as would many, many, many other trained martial artists. | ||
Not Jamie. | ||
Bruce Lee was a fantastic martial artist. | ||
And like I said, one of the most innovative guys ever. | ||
We don't even realize how much his style had a gigantic effect on making... | ||
Untold millions of people sign up for martial arts classes, including me. | ||
Right. | ||
And part of it was because he was a movie star, right? | ||
He had the looks and the charisma that allowed him to bring it onto film and show everybody. | ||
He had everything. | ||
He had philosophy. | ||
He had a deep understanding of all these different martial arts. | ||
And he had the courage to try to combine them, which was unheard of at the time. | ||
It got him exercised from a lot of these kung fu-like circles. | ||
Where did he learn it? | ||
He learned it from a bunch of different places. | ||
I mean, he learned it from books. | ||
He learned it in China. | ||
He learned different things from different people. | ||
I know he worked with a lot of different martial artists, including Gene LaBelle, who, of course, was a... | ||
What's Gene LaBelle's judo credentials? | ||
I guarantee he was a national champion. | ||
I think he was a world champion. | ||
But he was... | ||
Whatever he was, he's a fucking gorilla. | ||
I feel like Kung Fu was more popular earlier. | ||
Well, the UFC changed all that shit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Nice, Dan. | ||
Traditional judo. | ||
But what is his competition accomplishments? | ||
Blue belt? | ||
No. | ||
Yellow belt? | ||
But if that makes sense, that they kind of base it on him, because he really was a legendary stuntman as well. | ||
Wouldn't that be cool, though, if Tarantino had the inside scoop on that story? | ||
Yeah, but Bruce Lee and him were friends. | ||
I guarantee you, like, that didn't go down like that. | ||
They didn't have a fight. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
And if they did have a fight, Jesus Christ. | ||
It would have been horrific. | ||
That guy's a fucking gorilla. | ||
Judo people are different, man. | ||
They have a different... | ||
Their core... | ||
Judo? | ||
Yeah, their core is so goddamn strong. | ||
There's only a few Judo guys that I've ever rolled with that are of consequence. | ||
Like, Kyle Parisi was one of them. | ||
I think when I was a blue belt, I rolled with him and he was like rolling with a chimpanzee. | ||
It just threw me around. | ||
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I was like, Jesus Christ! | |
It's so disheartening when you grapple with like a really good wrestler or a really good judo person. | ||
They just have this insane ability to manipulate bodies. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Okay, it says he won the National Heavyweight Judo Championship and the USA Overall Judo Championship title. | ||
So he won the National Heavyweight title. | ||
And he went on to win both the heavyweight and overall champion in 1955 as well. | ||
So that's AAU, National Amateur Athletics Union, I think. | ||
That's AAU, I think that stands for. | ||
So that's a big-time judo title, especially for back then. | ||
In 1954, there probably wasn't that many judo championships. | ||
It was probably a fairly recent thing. | ||
Where's judo come from? | ||
Japan. | ||
Japan? | ||
Yeah, Japan Jiu-Jitsu does too. | ||
Even Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu really came from Japan because Count Maeda, who was this traveling Judo master, he taught people in Brazil. | ||
He taught the Gracies. | ||
So the Gracie family in Brazil, they took that Jiu-Jitsu and they refined it and made it much more emphasis on submissions because of Carlos Gracie and Elio Gracie and Carlson Gracie and the early masters. | ||
Right. | ||
Really amazing, amazing story of one, really one family that kind of revolutionized the way people fight on the ground. | ||
And they just all focused on, right, I remember. | ||
Yeah, they just were, they just were badasses. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
And they would just fight each other all the time. | ||
And they were trying to figure out what works best. | ||
And they just got it down to a fucking science. | ||
Here's the story about, from Gene LaBelle. | ||
Okay, make this a little bigger. | ||
Can I read this? | ||
Because LaBelle said that when he got on the set, Dobbins would put Lee in a headlock or something, so LaBelle went up and grabbed Lee. | ||
He started making all those noises that he became famous for, LaBelle said, but he didn't try to counter me, so I think he was more surprised than anything else. | ||
So he probably just grabbed him, got him in a headlock. | ||
Then LaBelle lifted Lee onto his back, what's called a fireman's carry, and ran around the set with him. | ||
He said, put me down or I'll kill you, Lee screamed. | ||
He said, I can't put you down or you'll kill me, LaBelle said, holding Lee there as long as he dared before putting him down saying, hey Bruce, don't kill me. | ||
Just kidding, champ. | ||
Back on his feet again, Lee didn't kill LaBelle. | ||
Instead, Lee recognized his lack of grappling was a deficiency in Jeet Kune Do style of martial arts that he was developing. | ||
See, so there wasn't really a fight. | ||
But this is what I'm telling you. | ||
LaBelle was so fucking powerful and such an amazing judo guy that if it was a fight, it would have been really quick. | ||
So if that's who he was supposed to be portraying in the movie, if they showed that the Brad Pitt character was some judo champion that became a martial artist later, okay, maybe. | ||
This guy was like a roofer. | ||
Yeah, well, he was a beast. | ||
That was a fun part of the movie. | ||
Yeah, it was great. | ||
I fucking liked that movie, man. | ||
Oh, I love that movie. | ||
And it's like split camps on it, just in my circle of friends that I run into or whatever. | ||
People either loved it and feel like they could have hung with it for two more hours, or people are like, what's the point? | ||
What was the story? | ||
I don't get it. | ||
Those I don't get it guys, keep a real close eye on them. | ||
Treat them like they're Jeffrey Epstein you're trying to keep them alive. | ||
Those people, I don't understand their thinking. | ||
I don't either. | ||
It was so great. | ||
How could you not have enjoyed that? | ||
It was a wild ass movie. | ||
Were you not entertained? | ||
There was a lot of times in that movie I was like, fuck, whoa, ah! | ||
It's a great movie. | ||
I could have just hung with it forever. | ||
And especially being out here in LA. It was just like that cool. | ||
Musso and Franks. | ||
Yes. | ||
They didn't even have to do anything to make it look different. | ||
I know. | ||
It's so great. | ||
That place looks like it's from 1969. Wow. | ||
Aren't we supposed to go? | ||
Yeah, we're supposed to go. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You and me and Joey, we've been talking about it forever. | ||
We gotta do it. | ||
Well, I'm in town this week. | ||
There's a UFC in Anaheim this weekend. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
I'm in L.A. Yeah, I'm in L.A. all week. | ||
I'm in L.A. too. | ||
unidentified
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Crazy! | |
This is the first two weekends in a row that I've been home, I think, in a year and a half. | ||
Pull up Tom Papa's Instagram and take a look at that sweet elk meat. | ||
Did you put it up on your Instagram? | ||
No, I didn't. | ||
unidentified
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You didn't? | |
Here, I'll send it to you. | ||
Or, I'll send it to Jamie. | ||
Alright, you send it to Jamie. | ||
Oh my god, that was so good. | ||
Dude, that shit's ridiculous. | ||
That's why I'm here today, because I've run out of elk. | ||
You cooked it so well. | ||
Hold on. | ||
I'm into food porn, obviously. | ||
Yeah, I was going to bring you bread, of course, but... | ||
Here's an annoying thing about Apple. | ||
This was a surprise. | ||
If you want to take a photograph from a text message, you can't search that person's name, because otherwise you can't get the photo. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
Like if I search your name, I have to actually send you a text. | ||
Unless I'm doing something totally wrong. | ||
Swipe down when you open up the messages app. | ||
Swipe down. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Look at that sweet, sweet bread. | ||
The search bar pops up. | ||
That does look sweet. | ||
unidentified
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Okay. | |
But it was just... | ||
I couldn't give it to you. | ||
It was just a little too stale. | ||
And I'm like, I don't want to... | ||
Appreciate it then. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Next time. | ||
You had stale bread? | ||
How many days does an actual real bread go before it's stale? | ||
About four days. | ||
Wow, that's so crazy. | ||
So I make two at a time, so it depends how much the ladies are eating. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Jamie, I just sent you... | ||
I just sent it to you again. | ||
...a photo of the meat. | ||
This was so good. | ||
I just can't believe you cooked that perfectly on a grill. | ||
That's amazing, man. | ||
Gas grill on high. | ||
unidentified
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Whew. | |
And I flipped it four times. | ||
What cut was that? | ||
Was that a roast? | ||
That was the tri-tip. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
That looks good. | ||
Oh, so good. | ||
Goddamn, that looks good. | ||
I know. | ||
Dude, you're a really good cook. | ||
Thank you. | ||
You nailed that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Tri-tip's a tricky one, because there's not a lot of fat in a tri-tip. | ||
No, it's not. | ||
You don't do it right. | ||
I remarked at that that there weren't a lot of flames coming up. | ||
It wasn't like dripping fat into the thing. | ||
It's a different cut. | ||
But I just did it by feel, and it was like, you don't want it to be too stiff. | ||
And then he just pulled it off, and it was so nice. | ||
I still have it waiting for me in the fridge. | ||
unidentified
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Oh, shit. | |
That's A-plus right there. | ||
Well, it's good stuff. | ||
So you got another one, you said? | ||
Does that mean you hunted again? | ||
I got a deer. | ||
You got a deer. | ||
Yeah, I got a deer in Lanai. | ||
I'm going to give you some Axis deer, too. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Oh, boy. | ||
Oh, boy. | ||
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What's the taste difference? | |
It's different. | ||
It's definitely different. | ||
It's really delicious. | ||
They're one of the fastest deer species on earth. | ||
They're crazy fast. | ||
How big are they? | ||
About 130, 150 pounds. | ||
Like Jamie's size. | ||
No, Jamie's bigger than that. | ||
Yeah, like Tony Hinchcliffe-sized. | ||
Right. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
That's little. | ||
Tony's like, hey! | ||
I'm here for meat! | ||
I don't want ligaments and wise-ass attitude. | ||
To put it in perspective, you get about 400 pounds from an elk and you get about 40 pounds from a deer. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Definitely very different. | ||
The elk is so good. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
I don't buy, you know, last time you gave it, you gave me a bunch. | ||
It's just been in the freezer. | ||
To go and buy a steak at Gelson's or whatever? | ||
Or Ralph's? | ||
It's not happening. | ||
Well, I'm glad you enjoy it, man. | ||
It's so good. | ||
It's so cool to see that you like it. | ||
It's so good for you. | ||
You feel good. | ||
Yes. | ||
Right? | ||
Crazy, right? | ||
That's not... | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's not just a placebo effect. | ||
I don't think so. | ||
No. | ||
I didn't get in the game to feel good. | ||
I just wasn't... | ||
Because it was delicious. | ||
So many hunters say that. | ||
Yeah? | ||
So many hunters say that you eat it and it gives you this boost of energy. | ||
You feel energized. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because it's so nutrient-dense. | ||
It's so dark. | ||
I mean, it's an animal that their main foe is wolves. | ||
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Right. | |
Mountain lions. | ||
I mean, they're out there hustling. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If you can get a hold of that meat, that's a meat of champions. | ||
It's good stuff. | ||
They scream. | ||
They scream at each other. | ||
I mean, you're eating like a mystical beast. | ||
Yeah, that's what it feels like. | ||
I respect it. | ||
But when you get it in a store, a lot of times it's from farms. | ||
It's from a farm in New Zealand, most likely. | ||
I think they probably can do it at some places in the United States, maybe some places in Canada where they commercially farm elk. | ||
But most elk that you get, you actually get from New Zealand. | ||
Oh. | ||
Which is really interesting. | ||
New Zealand's a weird place, man. | ||
Yeah, I've never been. | ||
A lot of the lamb you get is from New Zealand. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
Yeah, dude, New Zealand is really kind of crazy because they don't have any predators. | ||
Everything was brought over by a bunch of rich European guys. | ||
They're like, wouldn't it be great if we had sheep over here? | ||
They just brought sheep. | ||
Wouldn't it be great if we had stags? | ||
And so they brought over stags. | ||
I don't see an antelope. | ||
Have you ever seen a red stag? | ||
No. | ||
Beautiful, beautiful animal. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
Yeah, they're all over the place in New Zealand. | ||
They brought them over there. | ||
There's literally no large mammals in New Zealand, and they brought all of them over there. | ||
Jeez. | ||
See if you can get a photograph of a red stag, New Zealand red stag. | ||
They're beautiful animals. | ||
It's kind of like an elk in a lot of ways. | ||
It looks like it's like the cousin of an elk. | ||
They have these gorgeous, gorgeous antlers, and they're just these big, crazy... | ||
Beautiful animals. | ||
Do you have another trip coming up? | ||
I've never been to New Zealand. | ||
Are you going for elk again? | ||
Yeah, I'll be going in the fall. | ||
I always go in the fall. | ||
Oh, that's nice. | ||
See, you got a photo of one? | ||
It's Scottish, it says. | ||
Okay, that's a Scottish one. | ||
Don't they have a New Zealand red stag? | ||
I didn't tie this tag for a red stag. | ||
Okay, well, that's the dark side. | ||
Click on that photo. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Okay, that's good, too. | ||
And the one below it. | ||
Let me see the one below that. | ||
It's huge. | ||
Okay, this is the dark side. | ||
See, okay, now what this is, this is a New Zealand elk that's grown in a place where they grow them like this. | ||
So it's probably a high fence operation, and they probably feed these things. | ||
So they probably have like big bundles of food, and the more food an animal like that gets, the more impressive a rack they'll develop. | ||
That rack is insane. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's actually a really amazing podcast about it. | ||
Oh, see... | ||
That looks like it's caught up in ropes or something. | ||
What the hell is happening there? | ||
It's like in a tree or something. | ||
What the fuck is going on there? | ||
That looks like a vine. | ||
Yeah, it must have got caught on something. | ||
It looks like a vine. | ||
Something else wrapped around in there. | ||
That's so weird. | ||
I really don't understand what that is. | ||
That's why I clicked on it. | ||
It's very abstract. | ||
So it looks like the antlers are wrapped up in vines and then they shot it and left the vines on the head. | ||
They could have taken the vines off, just out of respect. | ||
Out of respect. | ||
That does happen, though. | ||
Like, sometimes deer will get, like, barbed wire and shit stuck in their antlers. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Or bale wire. | ||
They'll get that shit stuck in their antlers. | ||
They'll get it trapped around their legs and shit. | ||
It's terrible. | ||
Oh, man, that's awful. | ||
People always catch deer, or find deer, rather, that have been caught in fences. | ||
It's like they're jumping through a fence and it gets twisted around and their leg gets stuck. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's not cool. | ||
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It's terrible. | |
That's not cool. | ||
Oh, it's a drag. | ||
It's a drag. | ||
They find them there. | ||
Coyotes find them and they just eat them alive. | ||
You know what's really good, too, is the sausage. | ||
Oh, yeah, the sausage is fantastic. | ||
Anyway, so that's why those antlers are so crazy. | ||
Just because if they were in the wild, that's not happening. | ||
You wouldn't get enough food. | ||
Right. | ||
I was going to say that there's a great podcast called The Meat Eater with my friend Steve Rinella. | ||
There's an episode where they're talking about that. | ||
That's out right now. | ||
Let me find out which one it is. | ||
It's so much better. | ||
Because it's pretty interesting. | ||
I just emotionally and mentally feel so much better eating it than I do knowing that something came from a big factory farm. | ||
It's called Episode 180, Teeth, Horns, and Claws. | ||
and he sits down with a wildlife biologist, and they're talking about why animals grow things, why they grow antlers and why they let go of their antlers, and how you could take animals from one area where it looks like they have poor genetics because their antlers are small and they and how you could take animals from one area where it looks like they have poor genetics because their antlers are small So it just seems to be a direct correlation between their diet, Right. | ||
And how much their antlers grow. | ||
So what they do with these animals, most likely, and I don't know how all of them do it, because they probably vary, but I know in the United States, when they have deer farms, they feed them a super high-protein diet out of these feeders. | ||
And so these animals eat this crazy high-protein diet, and their antlers just go fucking... | ||
Filled with minerals. | ||
Antler bone is a weird thing. | ||
It grows faster than any known bone on earth. | ||
I am. | ||
So when you see a deer's antlers and they're gigantic, that deer might have just grown those over the last three months. | ||
Really? | ||
Yes. | ||
Jeez. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
That is crazy. | ||
Especially an elk antler in particular, because they let go of their antlers very late. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
Like, antlers fall off. | ||
Once they get done having sex, they don't need the antlers anymore, because the antlers are mostly to, like, show dudes... | ||
That's what I was going to ask. | ||
Like, a bird? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's floral. | ||
It's to attract... | ||
But it also helps them in fights with each other. | ||
Right. | ||
Because, like, the males will fight. | ||
And they wind up killing each other. | ||
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For the lady. | |
Yeah, they kill each other all the time. | ||
Especially elk. | ||
You'll find elks with, like, puncture wounds in their sides where they just jab each other. | ||
Yeah. | ||
One of them will trip and the other one will run his fucking antlers through its body cavity. | ||
So when these people are feeding them this high-protein stuff, is it for the antlers or it's just for them to... | ||
It's for the antlers. | ||
It is? | ||
Yes. | ||
It's so they develop these freakish antlers. | ||
Because then it's a trophy? | ||
Yes. | ||
But there's two schools of thought on this. | ||
There's people that think that's great, look at the antlers. | ||
And then there's people who are the purest, people that would be in the Steve Rinelli camp that would find it grotesque. | ||
And they would find direct evidence of a person meddling with it. | ||
Yeah, that's what it kind of feels like. | ||
Right, like almost akin, in a way, to an animal that's wearing a collar. | ||
That thing is so obviously manipulated by a person. | ||
In the wild, they don't have squirrely crazy shit that grows all over the place. | ||
If you find one in the wild that has anything remotely like that, it's a freak of all freaks. | ||
They do exist in places that have amazing food. | ||
And it would be more special because it's out there and it just happened. | ||
Whereas these all take place inside a fence. | ||
It's kind of sketch. | ||
Yeah, it's a little sketch. | ||
A little meddlesome. | ||
It's troublesome because they also have to hunt them, right? | ||
So one of the problems is they will do these purges where they fly over in helicopters with certain species and they just gun them down and they leave them to rot. | ||
Why? | ||
Because they have too many of them. | ||
They're devastating to the local flora, all the different plants, and they'll just eat through everything. | ||
There's no predators, so it's just going... | ||
They don't want to import wolves and start some crazy gang war. | ||
That sounds fun. | ||
Dude. | ||
There's a coyote... | ||
Coyotes in my neighborhood are going nuts right now. | ||
They ripped apart a cat, three of them on one cat, and somebody else lost one with two coyotes. | ||
They gang up together, and they go after these... | ||
My cat is staying inside a lot these days. | ||
Cats have a terrible life in the Hollywood area. | ||
Yeah, it's good. | ||
Yeah, cats are in real trouble with these coyotes. | ||
They're everywhere. | ||
I know, they're tricky. | ||
And they smell your cat. | ||
They know where your cat is. | ||
Right. | ||
They know when your cat's there, they know when your cat's not there. | ||
You don't even have to see them. | ||
Really? | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
The wind's coming down. | ||
Like say if your cat's in your backyard and there's a coyote a mile away on the street. | ||
And the wind hits that cat and blows towards that coyote, that coyote might be able to smell it. | ||
Jeez. | ||
They can smell some insane amount of distance. | ||
Wow. | ||
And, you know, if the wind is blowing right, so it's blowing towards them, they can pick up these little things. | ||
The next thing you know, they're knowing that you got something in your yard. | ||
Jeez Louise. | ||
I wonder how, with the effective distance, the way it was related to me was like you should consider the way a coyote could smell or a bloodhound or any kind of crazy dog, the way you smell a skunk. | ||
Do you know how you smell a skunk? | ||
Like a skunk could be like blocks away, but you fucking smell it so strong. | ||
You can smell it like almost a mile away maybe. | ||
Maybe a half mile? | ||
Yeah, probably a little less. | ||
That's how dogs are, with everything. | ||
With everything. | ||
With your feet. | ||
You can smell your feet that far away. | ||
Poor puppy. | ||
Imagine they could smell another dog taking a leak a block away. | ||
Like, what? | ||
That motherfucker! | ||
Isn't it funny when you're hanging with your dog and all of a sudden their head goes up? | ||
Oh my god. | ||
It's just purely out of smelling something in the distance? | ||
Yeah, I was taking my dog out today and it was amazing the stuff he stops for. | ||
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Yeah. | |
What the fuck is going on with this bush? | ||
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I know. | |
I just freak out. | ||
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What the fuck is he smells, man? | |
Are you smelling this? | ||
Like, I have zero idea what he's smelling. | ||
Dude, there was a possum here five hours ago. | ||
That's what they say about bears. | ||
That bears can not only smell you, they can smell you hours later and know how long it was that you passed through. | ||
So know whether or not it's worth going after you. | ||
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Jeez. | |
Bears are the best. | ||
They have multiple, I think... | ||
I want to say a bear's nose is nine times stronger than a bloodhound's. | ||
What? | ||
Yes. | ||
I think that's the case. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, I think it's like nine times stronger than a bloodhound's. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
Yeah, so think about it saying a bloodhound's nose is... | ||
Yeah. | ||
See if that's true. | ||
What does it say, Jeremy? | ||
That's why they're so manic. | ||
I was looking at smell ranges and I typed in bear smell range. | ||
It says it can smell a carcass from up to 20 miles away. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
Wow! | ||
20 miles? | ||
Yeah, let's bring those back. | ||
What a good idea, you fucking assholes. | ||
You know, California used to have a lot of them. | ||
Grizzlies? | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Really? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
We killed them all. | ||
Or not us, but people in the 1800s. | ||
Right. | ||
That's our state flag, bro. | ||
And pushed them up north? | ||
Not pushed them off. | ||
They murdered them. | ||
There's no pushing. | ||
They killed them all. | ||
Jeez. | ||
Yeah, the last time a guy died at the hands of a grizzly bear that was documented in California was a guy, I think his name was Stephen Levesque, and there's a town up on the way to Bakersfield. | ||
Have you ever been to Bakersfield? | ||
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Yeah. | |
You ever been to Bakersfield? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's great out there. | ||
It is nice out there. | ||
I like it out there. | ||
I know. | ||
Fun people. | ||
It's got that cool desert vibe. | ||
You're in the country somehow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But anyway, on the way up there, there's a town called Levesque, and Levesque was named after the last man to get killed by a grizzly bear. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, and they exhumed him many years later to see if the story was true, and his body was destroyed, like something bit through his thigh bones. | ||
Had mauled through it. | ||
Yeah, he got tore apart by a bear. | ||
In New Jersey right now, in North Jersey, they're having a black bear problem. | ||
Yeah, you know why? | ||
Because their government stopped the hunting on bears. | ||
The governor decided to stop the bear hunt. | ||
It was a part of him being elected. | ||
But these people, you're going to come face to face with the consequences of not managing dangerous wildlife. | ||
Black bears are dangerous wildlife. | ||
They're beautiful. | ||
They're all over. | ||
Yes. | ||
They're a problem. | ||
They're beautiful. | ||
They're amazing. | ||
It's definitely good to have them around. | ||
But you cannot let them overpopulate without a management plan. | ||
And that's what I think was the difference between the way this guy was approaching it and the way wildlife biologists were approaching it. | ||
They're approaching it from an emotional issue. | ||
They don't want people to kill bears. | ||
But you have to take, if the bear becomes something that kills you, which it could at one point in time. | ||
I mean, there's a kid from Rutgers who got killed by a bear a couple years back. | ||
It's very rare. | ||
It's very rare that a person gets killed by a bear. | ||
But that shit can happen more often, and that very rare, it's not going to do you any comfort. | ||
if your kid turns up missing. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, your kid can't be in the backyard because bears might get your kid. | ||
That's real. | ||
Right. | ||
Are you guys out of your fucking mind? | ||
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Right. | |
Like, bears are giant wild dogs that, again, like Jamie said, can smell a carcass 20 miles away. | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
Kill them all. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Gun them. | ||
Don't let them overtake your neighborhood. | ||
I'm not saying they shouldn't be in the woods. | ||
They should, but they should stay the fuck out of, like, suburbs, suburb neighborhoods. | ||
But the problem also is that it's just growing. | ||
There's so many humans every year, more and more humans, more and more developments. | ||
There's really not much land for these animals. | ||
That's an interesting argument. | ||
It's not that good, though. | ||
But it hasn't expanded that much. | ||
What's happened is the populations of the animals has arisen. | ||
But there is sprawl. | ||
There's more developments. | ||
Certainly sprawl in comparison to the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. | ||
But what is happening now with these overpopulations of animals is there's no one doing anything about it. | ||
See, if you have bears, there's no predators for bears. | ||
They occasionally eat each other. | ||
They do it all the time, actually. | ||
They kill and eat each other all the time, especially cubs. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Males eat cubs, females eat their own cubs. | ||
Why do they got to do that for? | ||
We were in Alberta, and one of the guys that I was with, my friend John, his son, saw a bear kill a cub, and then the mother of the cub ate it. | ||
Jeez. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What's with these guys? | ||
This is the life they live, man. | ||
They're not movie characters. | ||
Right. | ||
They're wild predators, and they're enormous. | ||
These are several hundred pounds. | ||
And if you think it's cute to have millions of them in a state... | ||
Do you know that New Jersey has the densest population of black bears in all of North America? | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, New Jersey. | ||
Right. | ||
How bananas that is. | ||
It's also the most densely populated... | ||
For humans. | ||
Is it really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really? | ||
It's the most populated state. | ||
Because it's not that big. | ||
Densely populated state. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it has a lot of woods. | ||
And there's a lot of woods. | ||
There's still a lot of woods. | ||
There's a lot of places for these things to live. | ||
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Yeah. | |
But if you have bears, and there's nothing, there's no wolves, and there's no mountain lions, there's nothing taking the bears out, there's just bears. | ||
There's a crazy amount of deer, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
A crazy amount. | ||
I was just there, you know, I have family there, and we were just driving around this summer, it's like... | ||
They were just popping up everywhere. | ||
I mean, the bears are probably eating the shit out of them, too. | ||
They're responsible for the death of 50% of all deer fawns. | ||
Bears? | ||
Bears. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They just go around and eat the... | ||
Half of the deer fawns get eaten by bears. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They did a study, like, where deer fawns get jacked. | ||
It's, like, mostly bears. | ||
Wow. | ||
I mean, mountain lions get them, too. | ||
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All in New Jersey. | |
They get a lot of deer fawns. | ||
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Hanging out at the mall, eating at a Chick-fil-A. But there's no mountain lions in New Jersey, so it's all bears. | |
Right. | ||
So the fawns there, they're all getting jacked by bears. | ||
Well, that was the big debate, I believe, when I was there, was they were thinking about allowing bear hunting. | ||
Well, it was legal. | ||
It was a big kerfuffle. | ||
Well, it's been legal. | ||
It's been legal for a long time. | ||
It was legal. | ||
Then it was. | ||
This new governor made it illegal. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
But the people that live there think it's a terrible idea to make it illegal. | ||
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Right. | |
To make it illegal. | ||
But I get it. | ||
I get people don't want bears to die. | ||
But you just have to understand management. | ||
You have to manage wildlife numbers when you're around people. | ||
I mean, this idea that you shouldn't do that because they should be here, because they were here first, and we're taking over their land. | ||
You're right. | ||
You're right about all those things. | ||
You're right, but we're team people, okay? | ||
But that's the reality we're dealing with, right? | ||
Exactly. | ||
You can't let many, many bears move into your area. | ||
It's a fucking disaster. | ||
They're going to eat your garbage. | ||
You're going to get scared. | ||
Someone's going to get bit. | ||
Someone could die. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And it accelerates with the population increase. | ||
Right. | ||
Whatever it is. | ||
I mean, there's a wild video from, fuck, Far Rockaway, which is- Oh, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And these two bears- That's like Queens. | ||
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I'm watching it. | |
It's like Queens, New York. | ||
These two bears, they start duking it out. | ||
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Geez. | |
No, that's not the Far Rockaway one. | ||
Is that Far Rockaway? | ||
Is that what it says? | ||
Okay, Far Rockaway, New Jersey. | ||
Okay, this is a different one, but it's the same. | ||
This is brand new. | ||
Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
Geez, those look like grizzlies. | ||
These are big bears. | ||
I always picture them smaller. | ||
These are more than 200 pounds. | ||
Whoa! | ||
That's what it looks like to me. | ||
I'm looking at them. | ||
Oh, easy. | ||
These are like 200 plus pound bears. | ||
It's like Jamie times two. | ||
Well, there's another one where these bears fight. | ||
I'm not bullshitting. | ||
The bears look like 400 pound bears. | ||
They're fucking enormous. | ||
And they knock over this mailbox and they crash into some garbage. | ||
They're so big, dude. | ||
And they spill out onto the street while cars are there. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
And cars are watching these. | ||
And you get a real perspective sense of how big they are with the cars. | ||
Right, right. | ||
I'm guessing 300 pounds plus. | ||
Maybe 400 pounds. | ||
And they gotta be fast. | ||
And they're duking it out with each other in front of everybody. | ||
In New Jersey. | ||
Dude, in people's yards. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
Another one with two giant bears in the same area. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
From earlier this year. | ||
This is a different one. | ||
I know the one you're talking about we've brought up a few times. | ||
So this is another one? | ||
Yeah. | ||
God. | ||
Stop playing. | ||
My sister had a whole family just walking down her street. | ||
Dude, this is going to be a problem. | ||
And they're going to have to hire people to go and kill these things. | ||
All it will take is one person getting eaten at the Taco Bell. | ||
It could be a lot of different things. | ||
It could be people's dogs. | ||
Yeah, this was the original video that I saw. | ||
They're fighting right outside these people's house. | ||
And then they duke it out. | ||
They eventually crash into the mailbox. | ||
That's shaky camera work. | ||
Yeah, well, it's because he's... | ||
He's terrified. | ||
Look at this. | ||
They're duking it out. | ||
Also, though, this is like a good sign that these were old-ass fucking cameras. | ||
This is like before they really had stabilization on cell phone cameras. | ||
Right, yeah. | ||
Look at the size of these fucks. | ||
Jeez. | ||
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And they're just fighting on the street in front of all these people. | |
Yeah. | ||
Man, oh man. | ||
This is what happens when you don't let people hunt them. | ||
Or this is what happens when you don't hunt them enough. | ||
You gotta manage it. | ||
When they encroach. | ||
Yes. | ||
Dude, it's fucking dangerous, man. | ||
These are wild animals. | ||
And these people that live there are soft-ass domesticated people. | ||
They don't know what that is. | ||
They're not like us. | ||
They don't know how to fight bears. | ||
Look at the size of these things. | ||
That is massive. | ||
Dude, these are big bears. | ||
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They're big! | |
Those are big bears. | ||
That's not what I pictured. | ||
Like, you ever go to the Black Bear Diner? | ||
Yes. | ||
They have them out here. | ||
They have, like, all these wooden bears. | ||
It's really cool. | ||
Look at this. | ||
They make them look so adorable. | ||
They wear hats. | ||
They've got vests on. | ||
I didn't see them crashing anything. | ||
Maybe I was wrong about that. | ||
Maybe it's another one. | ||
Wow. | ||
There's so many of these videos of bears fighting. | ||
God. | ||
You know, Alaska takes it one step further, though. | ||
One of my favorite videos is... | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Oh, see, they did knock in a... | ||
No, that's... | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Well, didn't Alaska say you can shoot them in their den now? | ||
I don't think so. | ||
Wasn't that the thing? | ||
No, I don't think so. | ||
That's what I heard. | ||
Unless they're trying to get rid of a certain number of them. | ||
What I was going to talk about was moose in people's driveways. | ||
There's this crazy fight where this guy's sitting in front of his car in the morning, sitting in his car in front of his house in the morning, and he's filming these gigantic moose duking it out on the front lawn. | ||
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It is great. | |
They are fucking enormous. | ||
And they're smashing antlers right on the sky. | ||
There it is. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Look at this, man. | ||
This is fucking crazy. | ||
They're so big. | ||
They crash into that car. | ||
They probably fucked that car up. | ||
But imagine if this is your house and you're watching two huge moose duke it out. | ||
I would like to live in a place like that. | ||
Well, you can move to Anchorage, Alaska. | ||
This can happen to you. | ||
That would be fun. | ||
You'd move right next to Sarah Palin. | ||
My cat wouldn't... | ||
The cat's fucked. | ||
My cat wouldn't make it. | ||
The cat becomes an indoor cat. | ||
Lock her in the house when you open the door. | ||
Don't let her out. | ||
Because everything's going to jack her. | ||
Yeah, look at these things, man. | ||
They don't... | ||
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Bro, look how big they are. | |
Oh, he got them on his back. | ||
Takedown. | ||
They're so big, man. | ||
These are so, so huge. | ||
This guy's running. | ||
All of a sudden, the camera's... | ||
This is how you put it in perspective, right? | ||
A deer is like maybe a hundred, like an axis deer is like maybe 150 pounds. | ||
An elk, a big one, is like closing in on a thousand pounds. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like 800, 900 pounds. | ||
A moose is twice that big. | ||
Twice that big? | ||
Twice that big. | ||
1,800, 2,000 pounds sometimes. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
A big male moose. | ||
Like, those moose right there, they easily could have been 1,600 pounds, 1,700 pounds. | ||
1,600 pounds. | ||
They're so big. | ||
And those are big ones, man. | ||
They had giant antlers. | ||
Yeah, they're huge. | ||
You see how wide their antlers are? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
That's like a fully mature moose. | ||
Oh, man. | ||
They're fucking enormous, man. | ||
I came around a bend on my motorcycle in Maine once, and there was just a moose just standing there in the middle of the road. | ||
God. | ||
It was like a wall. | ||
It was like, I think there's a wall in the middle of the road, and it was a gigantic moose. | ||
Greg Fitzsimmons did this gig in New Hampshire, and they told him that he couldn't swear. | ||
So Greg, when he was young, as he is today, was a smartass, but today he's a professional smartass. | ||
Back then, he was just kind of learning the smartass craft. | ||
So he immediately opened up with, hey, what's going on, fuckers? | ||
And, of course, doesn't clean up his act at all. | ||
And they sent him home. | ||
But what was crazy was, on the way up there, they were telling him, do not drive at night because of the moose. | ||
Right. | ||
Because you could hit a moose. | ||
But he goes, after my show, they were so mad at me. | ||
They're like, fuck you. | ||
Go drive with the moose. | ||
They sent him home. | ||
We want you out of the state. | ||
In the dark, in New Hampshire, with the moose out. | ||
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Yeah. | |
I just love the picture of a young Fitzsimmons. | ||
He was hilarious. | ||
He was such a smartass. | ||
Such a smartass. | ||
I've known Greg since... | ||
We literally started out within a week of each other. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Doing open mic nights. | ||
Wow. | ||
I met him early in New York. | ||
Dude, we did so many shitty gigs together. | ||
He was... | ||
Mean. | ||
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What? | |
Greg? | ||
Was he? | ||
Come on. | ||
Greg is cutting. | ||
I mean, I always got along with him, Greg. | ||
But no, but he had that, you know, he had Fitzsimmons attitude where if he locks it on you, you're toast. | ||
Oh, yeah, if he thinks you suck. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Yeah, if he thinks you suck and you annoy him. | ||
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Especially if you're cocky, you annoy him. | |
You don't know me, motherfucker! | ||
You ever hear that joke of his? | ||
Yeah, that's a hilarious bit. | ||
He's got a lot of hilarious bits. | ||
I tell him every time I see him, it's the best bit of the year. | ||
Yeah, I think Greg and I probably, I don't know how many gigs we did together, but for like the first few years of our comedy, when we're really starting to get like road gigs. | ||
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Yeah, yeah. | |
We did a shit ton of them together. | ||
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Oh, that's great. | |
Including open mic nights, man. | ||
We just drive all the way down to Rhode Island. | ||
We drive to Providence, Rhode Island to work. | ||
We'll do like 10 minutes for free. | ||
Wow, of course. | ||
Yeah, we're so excited. | ||
Maybe not even 10. So great. | ||
Might have been five minutes. | ||
Who would drive? | ||
Whoever. | ||
Whoever's fucking car worked. | ||
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Right? | |
I remember one time ago, me and Greg and this other dude were in a car, and the other dude starts talking about vibrators in his ass, and about how much his girlfriend likes to put vibrators in his ass. | ||
Who sang this? | ||
Another comic. | ||
This comic is telling us this crazy story. | ||
I mean, we're trapped with this guy all the way to Maine, driving, and he's in the back seat talking about taking in the ass with vibrators. | ||
I'm like, what? | ||
We didn't get that close. | ||
Like, this is... | ||
It's a weird time to bring up this subject. | ||
It's his opening conversation. | ||
It's like, I'm not averse to that subject. | ||
I'm not averse to you discussing... | ||
I don't think... | ||
Butt play, first of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay. | ||
And I don't think butt play makes you gay. | ||
So let's just like... | ||
It's intimate. | ||
It's an intimate opener. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
Let's soothe all those worries right there. | ||
Whatever you're into. | ||
No problem with you getting your butt touched. | ||
And I have no problem with you being gay. | ||
This is just... | ||
That's not what I'm talking about. | ||
This is like while you're driving. | ||
This is hello. | ||
Yeah, my girl, she loved to put vibrators in my asshole. | ||
Like, what? | ||
Hello, how do you do? | ||
Nice to meet you, my girlfriend. | ||
I mean, we knew this guy. | ||
But we didn't know this guy. | ||
Like, know this guy. | ||
I didn't know him as much as I knew Greg. | ||
And if Greg was telling me that in a car with somebody else, I'd be like, why are you telling me this other dude is here? | ||
This is something you don't want everybody to know. | ||
Yeah, Ixnay on the ass play. | ||
Yeah, it doesn't seem like you would want to broadcast that to just random strangers. | ||
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That's so funny. | |
But this dude wanted us to know that his girl liked to put vibrators in his asshole. | ||
And we were trapped with this guy. | ||
And sadly, he wasn't that good of a comedian either. | ||
Oh, boy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Neither were any of us back then, but we were a little better than him. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
He was in this range. | ||
There's a range that happens with early comedy, young comics coming up where you're like, ooh, I don't know if you're ever going to get out of this. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, you can see pretty quickly. | ||
Sometimes, some of us, you suck in the beginning, but you have a hint. | ||
Yeah, there's something there. | ||
There's something there. | ||
Yeah, no, exactly. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Kyle Dunnigan and I did a show early on for a high school in New Jersey. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
And we drove out there, and the same thing, just be really clean, make sure it's really clean. | ||
It's got to be clean. | ||
Oh. | ||
Kyle went up. | ||
I went up. | ||
And you're bombing because it's high school kids. | ||
You don't have a great act to begin with. | ||
And it's all high school children and you have nothing to relate to them. | ||
And they don't want to listen to a man talking. | ||
How old were you at the time? | ||
Probably 32, something like that. | ||
I don't know, 35. And... | ||
I'm just bombing and just trying to get through it. | ||
And then Kyle comes out and he's the whole time backstage. | ||
He's like, do I do my songs? | ||
Do I do my songs? | ||
I'm like, you know, I don't know. | ||
Whatever works, you know, just try and keep it clean. | ||
He comes out and he sings this song. | ||
It was about the Irish parade, the St. Patrick's Day parade sung like in an Irish brogue. | ||
And one line was if it was about, oh, they were allowing, they were debating whether or not homosexuals could march in the parade. | ||
That was a big thing in New York for like a decade. | ||
And Kyle had a funny song about it, and the line was, If my cock is the ladle, your ass be the stew. | ||
Like, the song is like an iron. | ||
If your cock be the little, me ass be the stew. | ||
And I just hear him, like, starting to get to it. | ||
And he goes into it. | ||
It's the first thing that the audience loves. | ||
The kids are so excited by it. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
Fast forward, the show's over. | ||
We're going to get paid. | ||
and a high school principal is livid. | ||
He's got a Winnie the Pooh tie. | ||
And there's two girls there. | ||
He's got a Winnie the Pooh tie. | ||
He's purple. | ||
He's so angry. | ||
And he's yelling at us, what are, these are children. | ||
unidentified
|
Your cock is the ladle. | |
And there's two girls. | ||
They made us cupcakes and had construction papers saying thank you for performing at our school with stars and moons. | ||
And they don't know whether they should give us the treats or not because the principal is just yelling at us. | ||
But these are high school students. | ||
Oh, so funny. | ||
These are high school kids, though. | ||
We got the check. | ||
Yes, high school kids. | ||
They already knew those things. | ||
That's why they laughed. | ||
Oh, of course, of course. | ||
But he couldn't sanction it. | ||
But Kyle just, you know, you're dying and you have no material. | ||
So what else is he going to do? | ||
He had to break out the song. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's nothing else he can do, right? | ||
He's just trying to survive and get paid and get out of there. | ||
Yeah, you gotta survive. | ||
You gotta take it on the chin. | ||
Hey, you gotta come on my radio show. | ||
I gotta? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Didn't you say you do it at 7 in the morning? | ||
7 to 9. Why do you gotta do that? | ||
Well, I don't know. | ||
It seems like you should do it when you're awake. | ||
I know. | ||
If you want it to be good. | ||
It's really early. | ||
Does it stream live or something? | ||
Yeah, it's on Sirius. | ||
Netflix is a joke radio. | ||
They took all their specials and they run them on the Netflix radio. | ||
I was thinking that Netflix was going to have its own radio channel. | ||
Like they have a Netflix channel. | ||
Their own radio channel. | ||
That's what I was thinking. | ||
Oh, you thought there was going to be a comedy. | ||
Yeah, like an app. | ||
Like a new thing that they're doing. | ||
It's like Raw Dog on SiriusXM or Comedy Greats. | ||
So you have to have Sirius to listen to it. | ||
That's what I was thinking. | ||
You could listen to it on the Netflix app. | ||
Because so many people listen to Netflix on their phones now. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
So many people watch specials. | ||
I think they said that like 50% of the people that watch my Netflix special watch it on a phone. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're actually even... | ||
Many people are formatting their specials to make them better to watch on phones. | ||
Oh, interesting. | ||
Yeah, like the way they're shooting it in terms of how they zoom in on the shot, what shots they choose. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, they're doing it so you can look at it on a fucking Samsung Galaxy S10 Plus or something. | ||
unidentified
|
That's interesting. | |
So they have all these specials from all these people, so they started their own channel, and I have the first radio show on it. | ||
And it runs 7 to 9 out here, and then 2 to 4. So it's drive time here in the morning, and drive time in New York in the afternoon. | ||
And you and Fortune? | ||
Fortune Feimster? | ||
Fortune Feimster, yeah. | ||
She's so funny. | ||
She's very funny. | ||
I love her so much. | ||
Very cool person, too. | ||
They were like, who do you want to do this with you? | ||
And she was on this short list. | ||
I was like, oh, done. | ||
She always seems very friendly. | ||
She's really funny. | ||
She's just bright. | ||
She murders, too. | ||
She murders. | ||
Murders on stage. | ||
She's so funny. | ||
She's very, very funny. | ||
Her Instagram's really funny. | ||
unidentified
|
Isn't it? | |
She dances. | ||
She does ice cream dances. | ||
She always gets an ice cream cone and dances along with it. | ||
We need to get her and Fahim together so we can work out. | ||
But it's cool because it's all comedy. | ||
It's all comedians coming in, talking about their specials, talking about comedy. | ||
Yeah, it's pretty fun, but it's early. | ||
Why do they make you do that? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm not sure if it's really necessary. | ||
Yeah, you've got to put your foot down. | ||
You could do it the night before and have it run in the morning. | ||
Because we're not doing hard news. | ||
You could just bypass that system and do a podcast. | ||
I do have a podcast. | ||
I know you do. | ||
But do it in a podcast form. | ||
Yeah, just do a successful podcast. | ||
Do you have a specific contract for a certain amount of time? | ||
I'm not trying to get you out of here. | ||
Yeah, we're going to do it for a year. | ||
And then, it is fun. | ||
I am enjoying it. | ||
But you know what? | ||
It's going to mess with my spots during the week. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Yeah, that's what we were saying. | ||
I was saying if you wanted to do the improv tomorrow night, you said you really can't. | ||
Because you've got to get up early in the morning. | ||
I could do an early show. | ||
I can't do late shows. | ||
Tough shit. | ||
No late show. | ||
Show starts at 10.30. | ||
I don't know what to tell you. | ||
We're not going to move everything back for you, Tom. | ||
Why? | ||
I thought we were friends. | ||
You shouldn't have a job like that. | ||
It's a preposterous job. | ||
You're up at 7 in the morning talking. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Yeah, it's doing morning radio all the time. | ||
If I'm up at 7 in the morning, I'm exercising. | ||
I'm not... | ||
I want to get things done first. | ||
I don't want to just wake up and talk. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm not ready yet. | |
I can't remember names. | ||
My memory is 50% is good when I first wake up. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
50%? | ||
It sucks. | ||
It sucks. | ||
It's terrible. | ||
You hit me with a pop quiz. | ||
How long does it take you to dust off the cobwebs? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I often thought about that, right? | ||
I often thought about how dumb I am during the day if there's a meter. | ||
If you could see, like, now I should make some good decisions. | ||
He's getting smarter, getting smarter. | ||
Too in the afternoon, I'm feeling pretty fucking good. | ||
But somewhere around late at night, everything starts to fall apart. | ||
And early in the morning, everything falls apart. | ||
What's late at night for you? | ||
Like 1-ish, 1.30. | ||
I don't work out at 1.30 in the morning. | ||
I really don't have the energy to work out. | ||
You mean physically working? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Sometimes I'll be writing at 1.30 in the morning. | ||
And I can write at 1.30 in the morning. | ||
But if I had to go through one of my workout routines... | ||
Like a physical activity. | ||
Like a real workout. | ||
I can't do it. | ||
I'm too tired. | ||
Well, you shouldn't. | ||
It's 1 o'clock in the morning. | ||
Right. | ||
But that's letting you know that there's a cycle to where you have energy and where you don't have energy. | ||
Where you're awake and where you're not awake. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
But some people, they perform way better late in the afternoon. | ||
Like, I used to feel that way about jiu-jitsu class. | ||
Like, early morning jiu-jitsu classes, I was terrible. | ||
I just couldn't get my body warmed up. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, I didn't like them. | ||
But the evening ones, like an 8.30 class, I was peaking. | ||
Oh, interesting. | ||
I'm better working out early. | ||
Yeah? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's like after lunch. | ||
What is a typical Tom Papa day? | ||
How do you start your day? | ||
Radio day or no radio day? | ||
Editing jerking off parts. | ||
I don't want to hear those parts. | ||
Well, I guess we're fast forwarding to noon. | ||
Okay, give me a radio day. | ||
Non-radio day. | ||
Okay, non-radio day. | ||
Non-radio day. | ||
I get up at 7. Damn. | ||
I get up at 7. I go upstairs. | ||
Like a soldier. | ||
I make coffee. | ||
I get one cup of coffee. | ||
Do you play classical music softly? | ||
Once in a while. | ||
I picture you OCD butter in your toast. | ||
No, I don't eat straight away. | ||
It's just straight black coffee. | ||
Into the office. | ||
I have an office. | ||
And I try and write. | ||
I sit at the desk. | ||
I call it going into the shop. | ||
And I sit there and I write. | ||
And I make sure that there's no... | ||
I don't do appointments until noon. | ||
Anything I'm going to do, I don't do until noon. | ||
Except if I'm going to go for a run or workout. | ||
I'll put in a couple hours, and then when I start to fade, I'll go for a run and then come back and continue. | ||
Oh, I skipped something. | ||
I'm sorry. | ||
Before the coffee, if I'm up early enough and the house isn't up, I'll meditate first for 20 minutes. | ||
Before you even write. | ||
Coffee before I write. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wake up, water in the face, maybe brush teeth. | ||
Up into the office and then take 20 right away. | ||
Because it's more restful than sleep. | ||
So even if you had like a bad night's sleep or you're tossing or whatever was going on, you're now ready to go through the day. | ||
What kind of meditation are you doing? | ||
TM. Transcendental Meditation. | ||
Transcendental Meditation. | ||
There's a weird thing about that, right? | ||
Some people think it's kind of culty. | ||
It's not culty. | ||
It's not culty. | ||
There's no leaders. | ||
Right, but wasn't there some controversy with TM a while back? | ||
I think so. | ||
No? | ||
Am I misconstruing it with something else? | ||
Yeah, no. | ||
That's why I like it. | ||
I'm very into it. | ||
I've been doing it for a long time. | ||
It's great, but I like yoga. | ||
I like all that kind of stuff. | ||
Unless you get a little hippy-dippy with it and a little too preachy, then I'm out. | ||
Yeah, me too. | ||
And this is totally basic, simple. | ||
When I was taught it, there was nothing, you know, like hippy-dippy flaky about it. | ||
You know what, man? | ||
That hippy-dippy flaky shit, it only feels shitty if the person's not really living that life. | ||
And you can kind of feel it. | ||
It's kind of bullshitting. | ||
Yes. | ||
There was this guy I used to take classes from. | ||
I'm saying it was Peter. | ||
He's from South Africa. | ||
I only took his classes a few times. | ||
But he was like one of those genuinely spiritual people. | ||
Right. | ||
And he would say these things and you could tell he wasn't trying to manipulate you or namaste you or satnam. | ||
He wasn't trying to bullshit you. | ||
That's, yeah. | ||
And then there was another guy that he used to take classes with that it felt like he was always bullshitting. | ||
Always. | ||
It was so annoying. | ||
I know. | ||
And he wound up banging this other dude's wife. | ||
Of course. | ||
And it became a giant disaster. | ||
He's the guy with the acoustic guitar making eye contact with you. | ||
So funny you say that. | ||
He would sing. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Sing in clashes. | ||
Of course. | ||
Of course. | ||
No, you can smell it. | ||
And that's why I had a hard time with yoga until I found this one teacher, and she was just great. | ||
And it's the same thing with TM. Controversy. | ||
Here it is. | ||
There was some cult controversy or something a while ago with it. | ||
Yeah, okay. | ||
With TM? Can we make that a little larger? | ||
I can barely read that shit. | ||
Yeah, that's really small. | ||
What's that? | ||
The organization has been the subject of controversy labeled a cult by several parliamentary inquiries or anti-cult movements of the world. | ||
Some also suggest that TM, its movements are not a cult. | ||
The TM movement has been characterized in a variety of ways. | ||
It's been called a spiritual movement, a new religious movement, a millenarian, a world affirming movement, a social movement, a guru-centered movement. | ||
How a new book exposes the dark side of Transcendental Medication. | ||
I don't even understand where you would have, like, where it would happen. | ||
Like, there's no place to go. | ||
Well, I'm honestly ignorant of it, so explain it to us. | ||
Yeah, there's nothing, it's very, you know, I tried meditating in all these different ways, and this kind of made it very simple. | ||
Doesn't Seinfeld do this, too? | ||
Yes. | ||
He's the end of TM? Yeah, he's actually the one that got me into it. | ||
And for a long time, I was thinking, well, I meditate. | ||
I count breaths. | ||
I'd kind of do it. | ||
I wasn't really feeling... | ||
I always had in my head that maybe TM is different. | ||
Maybe going and learning that would kind of dial it in a little bit more. | ||
So you took classes on it? | ||
So I took four classes. | ||
You saw this guy here in California. | ||
And... | ||
Just go for an hour, four days in a row, and he teaches you what to do it. | ||
And the analogy is that there's this... | ||
The reality is just in this tumultuous ocean waves. | ||
We're on the top. | ||
We're on the surface. | ||
That's where we live. | ||
And this is just a way, through a mantra, to get you down below the waves to sit for 20 minutes. | ||
And it's very freeing because there's no... | ||
There's no controlling your mind. | ||
There's no forcing it to come back and count breaths. | ||
You're not thinking about what you have to do. | ||
You just do the mantra, do the mantra, and then let it go. | ||
And if your brain starts thinking about work, it thinks about work. | ||
If it starts thinking about your wife, just let it be, let it be, let it be. | ||
And 20 minutes, you pop out of it. | ||
unidentified
|
And you feel... | |
Not right away, I don't feel changed immediately. | ||
Like I'll feel, you know, I have an Apple Watch and my heart rate is low. | ||
Like it's 40 to 50. All the time or when you're doing this? | ||
No, when I'm doing that. | ||
How much is it normally? | ||
Probably like 80. What's it right now? | ||
How long does it take to find that out? | ||
It's going to take a while. | ||
Hey Siri. | ||
It's at 80. And you get down to 40 when you do TM? Yeah. | ||
It's very calming. | ||
And it just kind of gives your nervous system a respite. | ||
That's pretty heavy. | ||
It's pretty great. | ||
It gives me a lot of energy. | ||
Did I activate Siri by saying, hey Siri? | ||
Oh yeah, Siri did. | ||
I didn't catch that. | ||
People right now are screaming at me because their car is going, boo-boo! | ||
What would you like me to do? | ||
But I don't feel it right away, but I'll notice it hours later that I have more energy. | ||
I'm still going. | ||
What is the process? | ||
How do you do it? | ||
I just sit. | ||
And what's the mantra? | ||
Everyone has an individual mantra. | ||
Tell us your mantra. | ||
I can't. | ||
Come on, bro. | ||
What if someone's a gigantic Tom Papa fan? | ||
They want to do everything that you do. | ||
Well, that's true. | ||
It's jelly beans. | ||
That's what you say? | ||
No. | ||
Liar. | ||
It's just a noise, pretty much. | ||
Wouldn't it be weird if you just kept saying Jerry Seinfeld? | ||
unidentified
|
Jerry Seinfeld. | |
Sourd dough. | ||
Sourd dough. | ||
Sourd dough would be cool. | ||
Sourd dough. | ||
Because it's a delicious food. | ||
Sourd dough. | ||
But it wouldn't be nearly as weird. | ||
Something about... | ||
Brad Garrett. | ||
Brad Garrett. | ||
Yeah, it would be weird. | ||
Strange, right? | ||
So, I do it first thing in the morning. | ||
20 minutes. | ||
And then sometime in the late afternoon. | ||
So, can you explain? | ||
All you do is you sit and you just chant your mantra? | ||
In my mind. | ||
And you don't say it out loud? | ||
Don't say it out loud. | ||
Okay. | ||
So, as you're just... | ||
When you're repeating the mantra in your mind, you just try to stay on path? | ||
I just keep saying it. | ||
I don't try and stay on a path. | ||
I don't force anything. | ||
I just keep saying it. | ||
But if your brain tries to trick you and say, hey, Tom, I have a great idea for a new bit, do you let it happen? | ||
Let it go. | ||
It's okay. | ||
Do you write the bit down? | ||
No. | ||
Whoa, you're risking it all. | ||
I'm not that great of a comedian, so those things don't happen. | ||
There's moments where I have fucking been laying in bed and I was too tired to get up and I'd say, I'm going to remember this for sure. | ||
I'll remember that for sure. | ||
And I definitely didn't. | ||
No. | ||
And yeah, 20 minutes. | ||
And I'm telling you, my one friend described it as, it adds another four hours to your day. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
And it's really true. | ||
When you call me today, last minute to come in, I took 20 before I came because I was dragging. | ||
I went for a run this morning. | ||
I meditated this morning, but then I went for a run. | ||
I came back. | ||
I was writing. | ||
And you called and you're like, can you come on over? | ||
I was like, yeah, that's cool, but let me drop for 15 minutes before I get in the car. | ||
So that's what you did. | ||
You meditated for 15 minutes? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
Do you do that before sets? | ||
No. | ||
If I'm tired, yeah. | ||
If it's towards the end of the day and I've got something at night that's a little later. | ||
Does it help you make decisions? | ||
Yes. | ||
How did you still make the decision to do a radio show at 7 in the morning? | ||
Because I'm not afraid of it. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Because I know that I can meditate and I'll have energy. | ||
How many days a week do you do that? | ||
I don't have to worry about getting a good night's sleep. | ||
Ever? | ||
No. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
I can meditate, and then I'll be okay for the show. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
I can't do that. | ||
Yes, you can. | ||
You should go. | ||
I can. | ||
You should go. | ||
Okay. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, I'd love to. | ||
I'll hook you up with the guy. | ||
Can I just watch a YouTube video? | ||
Isn't that good enough? | ||
No. | ||
I've learned so much from YouTube, though. | ||
Have you? | ||
Yes. | ||
It's true. | ||
Why can't you learn Transcendental Meditation from YouTube? | ||
You know what? | ||
There is this mystery about it, and I would research it, and I was like, why can't I just learn it? | ||
The only difference is having this man explain it to you It kind of dials it in. | ||
And I went back once since I learned it initially just to kind of tune up. | ||
There's not that much, but it's just, you know, they give you a little bit, you know, it's like playing tennis or something. | ||
And they're like, no, just hold it like this. | ||
Oh, right. | ||
Okay. | ||
Or like in yoga, they're like, you think you're doing this, but your elbows are out. | ||
Just kind of bring them in. | ||
That's big in yoga. | ||
Like sometimes the instructor will give you one thing. | ||
She'll say one thing about the way you're standing or the way you Keep your weight. | ||
You're like, oh, man. | ||
And you just change it just slightly. | ||
You're like, oh, my God. | ||
It's so much harder. | ||
I know, which you never would have learned at home. | ||
So it's kind of a similar thing. | ||
And over time, so that's what it is on a daily basis. | ||
But over time... | ||
It makes you more chill. | ||
Things don't bother me the way they used to bother me. | ||
Just day-to-day aggravations. | ||
Normal bullshit. | ||
Normal bullshit. | ||
You slowly transform without realizing it. | ||
Do you know who Dan Harris is? | ||
Sam Harris? | ||
Dan Harris? | ||
Dan Harris? | ||
No. | ||
From, what is the show, Nightline? | ||
Is that what he's on? | ||
Anyway, he'd been on the podcast for a really nice guy. | ||
He's got an app called 10% Happier. | ||
And it's just a meditation app. | ||
And he wants people to know that it's been super beneficial to him. | ||
So he talks about it often. | ||
He talked about it on my podcast. | ||
And he actually used the tank. | ||
He's the only guy other than me that's ever used that tank. | ||
I want to use the tank. | ||
Okay. | ||
This was a weird thing. | ||
I don't offer it to fucking everybody, but Dan Harris is the only one who said, I'm in. | ||
Let's do it. | ||
When you called me today, I was online looking at tanks. | ||
Did you ever ruin your house for one? | ||
No. | ||
That thing's big. | ||
It's big. | ||
It's big. | ||
It's hotter than I thought. | ||
Well, you don't want to be cold in there. | ||
No, it's true. | ||
It's 94 degrees. | ||
94. Yeah, that's what you want. | ||
That's about the temperature of the surface of your skin, somewhere in that range. | ||
How did he like it? | ||
How long do I stay in there? | ||
An hour? | ||
You can stay as long as you want. | ||
The most I ever do, though, is two hours. | ||
I've done more on edibles. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Because I couldn't move. | ||
I just had to stay put. | ||
unidentified
|
For real? | |
Yes. | ||
Yeah, I've gone on some journeys. | ||
You ate edibles and went in there? | ||
Oh, many times. | ||
Really? | ||
Oh, for sure, yeah. | ||
That sounds kind of crazy. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Edibles have a unique visual quality when you're in a sensory deprivation tank because the tank enhances any sort of sensory experience. | ||
Any psychedelic experience is enhanced by the tank. | ||
Right. | ||
Because the tank removes the environment. | ||
It removes the world. | ||
Right. | ||
And it puts you in this place where you don't see anything or hear anything or feel anything. | ||
You're just flying through space. | ||
You put the ear things in? | ||
I don't. | ||
I just let salt water get in my ears. | ||
That's what I saw online. | ||
I just rinse my ears out after it's over. | ||
It seems to be fun. | ||
Right. | ||
And just float. | ||
You don't have to keep your head up. | ||
I like my ears in the water. | ||
It doesn't bother me. | ||
I put my ears in the water when I swim, too. | ||
I'm not wearing earplugs when I swim in the ocean. | ||
Why am I wearing earplugs when I lay in this tank? | ||
I thought it was an audio thing, that you're trying to shut out noise. | ||
You can do it, but I'm always aware of the plugs. | ||
They kind of fuck with the balance of your head. | ||
Yeah, I get that. | ||
But if you had something over the ear, well, anyway, you can do it. | ||
Some people like it that way. | ||
Some people use the wax. | ||
You don't have to. | ||
No, you don't have to. | ||
Some people actually get them form-fitted to their ears, so they slide in really easily, so you barely even notice that they're there. | ||
And... | ||
My understanding is that you lay like you're floating, but you don't have to support yourself. | ||
You don't have to do shit. | ||
Your neck, your head, anything. | ||
Nope, nothing. | ||
Yeah, you have to do it. | ||
I can't believe you've never done it before. | ||
Yeah, no, I'm really... | ||
It's super easy. | ||
It's right here. | ||
You tell me when. | ||
All right. | ||
We'll open it up. | ||
That'd be great. | ||
There's a shower in that room. | ||
It's real easy. | ||
You just have to lay there and just slow down and just concentrate on your breathing. | ||
If you already have your TM routine, I'm sure you could do it in there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Just do it in there. | ||
It'd probably be amazing. | ||
Right. | ||
You'd want to buy a house with an extra garage bay so you can stick one in it. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I knew a guy who had one. | ||
I didn't know him, but I knew the guy who installed it. | ||
The guy installed a shed in his backyard just so he could have the tank. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, so he bought a tool shed that you could buy and build. | ||
So he built this shed, had electricity plumbed out to it, must have got some sort of a building permit, and then plugged this fucking tank into the shed, because he wanted one so bad in his house, and he didn't have any room in his actual house. | ||
How often do you do it, and what does it give you? | ||
Well, I do it whenever I can. | ||
What I like is once a week. | ||
If I get once a week in, that would be awesome. | ||
Wow, that's a lot. | ||
Lately, I haven't been. | ||
Lately, it's been more like once a month. | ||
Right. | ||
But when I do get in it, I just can have a better perspective. | ||
It calms me down. | ||
Right. | ||
It puts me into this place where I'm not connected to the world anymore, so I feel like I can look at the world from an outside perspective. | ||
You carry that with you when you leave, you mean? | ||
You carry something. | ||
I mean, I think all these things are accumulative. | ||
Yeah. | ||
All the books you read, the documentaries you watch, all the conversations you have with insightful people, all those things have an accumulation effect. | ||
I agree. | ||
As you become exposed to more things and talk to more cool people and listen to more cool ideas and have these cool conversations with people, your perspective enhances. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It just does. | ||
No, it does. | ||
It seeps in. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, I totally buy it. | ||
I think we should think of your perception the same way we think about other skills, that some people are really good at running with a football, right? | ||
It's super hard to take them down. | ||
They're so good at anticipating your moves and getting out of the way, and they have everything down, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think that's the same way with everything. | ||
Everything. | ||
Including your own perceptions of life and the way you view and the way you manage your own life. | ||
I think you can get really good at it where things come in your way. | ||
You just, whoop, not today, motherfucker. | ||
Oh, shit, not me. | ||
He ain't getting me. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Or you could be that person who's like a super uncoordinated, unathletic kid. | ||
All reaction. | ||
Yeah, who is trying to tackle a super athlete. | ||
Right. | ||
It's too hard! | ||
You know? | ||
Right? | ||
No, 100%. | ||
But I think we don't think about it that way, though. | ||
Because the one way is thoughtful, the other way is thoughtless. | ||
Yes. | ||
I think that seems to be kind of the key. | ||
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
Just paying attention to that aspect of your life. | ||
That definitely has an effect on it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But what I'm saying is also that, that is definitely true, but what I'm saying is also that I think the way you interface with life is a skill. | ||
And I think we don't think of it as a skill. | ||
We don't think of it as something you get better at. | ||
Or that we even try to get better at. | ||
And this includes the way you communicate with people. | ||
This includes the friendships that you have. | ||
Making sure your friends know that you love them. | ||
Making sure your friends know you care about them. | ||
All these things are... | ||
This is a part of the way you live life. | ||
And you get better at this as a skill. | ||
We only think of skills as things that we decide to do. | ||
I want to play piano. | ||
Oh my god, you have a skill at playing piano. | ||
I'm a really good golfer. | ||
Oh, you have golfing skill. | ||
You don't think of the way you interface with people. | ||
You don't think of that as a skill. | ||
No, I know. | ||
But I think we should. | ||
Yes, absolutely. | ||
I always think of that in terms of the interpersonal stuff. | ||
Just in basic manners. | ||
Like there used to be real guidelines for how you said hello to somebody and when you took your hat off and how you said goodbye and all those little, all those what were perceived as stuffy, mannerly things that people had to do, stuck up people had to do. | ||
They're helpful. | ||
They're really like how to act at a funeral, how to act at a birthday party, all those little rules. | ||
unidentified
|
Etiquette. | |
Etiquette, exactly. | ||
Yeah, they used to teach courses in etiquette. | ||
Yes, and without it, it's kind of like, it's stupid not to play with it, because we need a bit of, all the stuff we're talking about is creating your own little guidebook to get through life. | ||
Do you think they still teach etiquette in any high schools? | ||
Is that a focus of study? | ||
We have such little money for schools. | ||
They're getting rid of art. | ||
They're getting rid of gym. | ||
There's probably not a lot of etiquette. | ||
That seems like a critical life skill, though. | ||
It is. | ||
It really is. | ||
It really is. | ||
Because how you... | ||
One of the things that's true is how much people enjoy being around you. | ||
That makes your life more enjoyable. | ||
And people don't think of it that way. | ||
They oftentimes think... | ||
Right. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
Right? | ||
Right. | ||
But if people enjoy being around you... | ||
Right. | ||
...you'll enjoy everything more. | ||
This is what they don't understand, like the solo effort. | ||
That's right. | ||
Of going through life like with a narcissistic perspective. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
One of the major problems with that is there's no one to share it with because you're all out for yourself. | ||
That's right. | ||
Even if you get there, you're going to be filled with sadness and despair. | ||
That's right. | ||
It's not what you want. | ||
What you want is to be happy, right? | ||
Well, I know you think that you have to be all about yourself to be happy, but in fact, that is a way to ensure unhappiness regardless of success. | ||
That's right. | ||
That's the mind fog. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
That's the mindfire. | ||
Well, you think that these small things wouldn't have a big effect on you, right? | ||
You think that, well, like having a sense of community, going to the same shops all the time, you would think that's just me doing errands. | ||
No. | ||
You're now connected to the woman that works at that pharmacy. | ||
You're connected to that bagger at the grocery store. | ||
You're connected to that person at the church, whatever it is in your little world. | ||
And you think you're just going about your day, but you're not. | ||
You're getting enriched by these... | ||
By these interactions with people. | ||
Dealing with other human beings in a nice manner is rewarding, and it gives you a sense of place, it gives you a sense of belonging, a sense of love, all of those things. | ||
But you have to learn that yourself. | ||
That's the problem. | ||
It's true, but that's, yeah. | ||
Nobody guides you along that path. | ||
It's an important perspective. | ||
I mean, it really is. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It's an important angle on life. | ||
Look at it this way, and you'll benefit greatly, and you will also bring up those around you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And also, bring up those around you benefits you greatly. | ||
It benefits everybody. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And when you're in a position where you can help your friends in that way and you support each other and you build each other up, when that person has success, you get great joy, like great satisfaction from seeing your friends succeed. | ||
Yeah, right, exactly. | ||
A lot of people have a hard time, especially, I mean, I don't know how it was when you were starting out comedian, but I had a hard time with other people's success when I first started out. | ||
And I think we all did. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Because nothing was happening for me. | ||
I was like, goddammit, how did he get that show? | ||
Oh my god, how did he get this? | ||
It's a dumb way to look at it. | ||
And I had to recognize that it was dumb. | ||
I had to learn. | ||
Me too. | ||
Just by paying attention to myself, going, what is wrong with you? | ||
I will occasionally talk to myself as if I'm me, outside of me, going, what the fuck is this? | ||
Sometimes it's the only way... | ||
To really look at yourself right. | ||
It's hard to do, but if you just... | ||
How would I feel if I wasn't me? | ||
If I was outside of me, watching me, I'd be like, what are you bitching about that guy getting a thing, you fucking idiot? | ||
You're not even working on yourself. | ||
You're sitting here complaining about stuff. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But that's default for so many people. | ||
Well, that's envy. | ||
Right. | ||
Right? | ||
And it's very easy to have when you're discovering yourself and trying to make your way as a comedian. | ||
And you're like, well, I'm doing all the right things. | ||
People laugh at me. | ||
Why did that guy just show up and he's on MTV and I'm not? | ||
Sure. | ||
I mean, and that also exists in haters, right? | ||
Like when you see someone, especially when it comes to sports teams, you see some of the guys that are like sports haters or they'll call this guy a pussy and this guy fucking sucks and he's a bum and he's a this and he's that. | ||
How much effort are you putting into your own life? | ||
Right. | ||
How much are you putting into shitting on this guy? | ||
Right. | ||
Well, it's easier to do that. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
So much easier. | ||
unidentified
|
It's instantaneous. | |
Yeah. | ||
It's right there. | ||
Instant gratitude. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Gratification, rather. | ||
I remember I had the same thing that you did. | ||
I was in New York. | ||
I was working at the Comedy Cellar, and I was just getting angry and frustrated. | ||
I couldn't get on Conan. | ||
I wanted to get on Conan. | ||
I just wanted to get on Conan. | ||
And it wasn't until I stopped paying attention to what everyone else was doing consciously, like told myself, don't even go in the room. | ||
Don't read about other people. | ||
Just blinders. | ||
Put blinders on. | ||
This is just you and your little path. | ||
Enjoy yourself and go about it. | ||
And try and really shut it out. | ||
And that's when everything got correct. | ||
And when it got correct, that's when I got Conan. | ||
That's when all these things started happening because I was only worried about myself. | ||
And then later on, now you have perspective. | ||
You can watch other people and actually have joy that these people are doing these things. | ||
Conan is the nerd seal of approval. | ||
If you're a nerd comedian, and I mean that in a good way, like if you're a smart comedian and you get Conan, that's like, damn, you nailed it. | ||
You got the smart show. | ||
That's the smart show. | ||
It was always. | ||
I did it, yeah. | ||
The first one was in New York. | ||
Yeah, when he was in New York, one of my friends was writing for him in the early, early, early, early, early days. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, he was so creative. | ||
He was a writer. | ||
Yeah, he was a real funny writer, and everything came from that. | ||
So you wanted to be a part. | ||
You couldn't be hacky and get on the show, so you had to be working. | ||
You had to try and be unique. | ||
It was a seal of approval that you were comedically unique, and that was important. | ||
I knew a couple guys who worked for him. | ||
Brian Kiley, I think? | ||
Yeah, he's still there. | ||
Yeah, he's still there? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, Brian Kiley. | ||
Him and Laurie Kilmartin. | ||
Oh, I don't know Laurie, but I knew another guy, Amir, Amir Golan. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
His stage name was James Lemur. | ||
Funny dude. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
But he worked for him, and he and I were friends, and I went to one of the early tapings. | ||
It was weird to see, because they had scripted conversations. | ||
Now, eventually, he went on to become so comfortable on stage, where he just would ask questions and then play off and riff. | ||
Right. | ||
But in the early days, they had their conversation scripted. | ||
What do you mean, the conversation? | ||
And a guest? | ||
No, and what's his face? | ||
His sidekick, Andy Richter. | ||
Him and Andy Richter would be reading off cue cards. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, so they would know what they were going to say. | ||
Wow. | ||
They were basically doing like a sketch. | ||
That's a writer. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's like they had written out the jokes. | ||
Right. | ||
But it was like, of course the network wanted that because they wanted to make sure it was funny. | ||
How do you know it's not funny? | ||
Write it. | ||
unidentified
|
Write it out. | |
Make it funny. | ||
Don't take a chance that you guys are going to be funny. | ||
It's just so funny because they seem like such naturally funny. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's hard when you have all these people on your back to... | ||
Free yourself up to fail. | ||
Well, the early days of any kind of a new talk show are so risky. | ||
It's like, who the fuck knows where this is going to go? | ||
Arsenio Hall! | ||
unidentified
|
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! | |
He was one of the only guys that figured out a way to break into that system, right? | ||
Like George Lopez did for a little while, but that late night system, it's a fucking hard thing to do. | ||
It's a grind. | ||
It's a weird show because everybody does a version of the same show that Jack Parr did in like 19-0. | ||
And yet trying to do something completely different fails a lot of the time. | ||
Yeah, but they all have a desk. | ||
You sit at the desk, the desk sits next to them at the desk, which is a fucking holy weird way to have a conversation. | ||
Imagine if you came over a guy's house, and he's above you in a desk that's an elevated desk. | ||
Like, they're elevated. | ||
Everyone's elevated. | ||
But you know what's weird is, like, when James Corden does it, like, just, they're all on chairs, and there's no desk, and it's just, like, leaning into each other. | ||
That's weirder. | ||
unidentified
|
Weirder. | |
Yeah, I don't want to see your legs. | ||
unidentified
|
Weird. | |
I watched it once and there was like three people on the couch together. | ||
I'm like, what the fuck is happening here? | ||
Yeah, what's going on? | ||
It's too strange. | ||
Yeah, it's weird. | ||
Well, I'm so spoiled by podcasts. | ||
I'm so spoiled by no time constraints. | ||
I'm so spoiled by all of it. | ||
But, you know, it's kind of... | ||
Yeah, when Bernie was on last week, I listened to your Bernie episode. | ||
It was so good. | ||
Because I never got to hear him just breathe. | ||
Yes. | ||
To just hear him talk. | ||
Yes, he's super reasonable. | ||
Anybody. | ||
Just to hear them just go for a length of time. | ||
You really get to know who they are when you're... | ||
Trying, even in these late night shows, it's just boom, boom, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, soundbite, soundbite, soundbite. | ||
You don't really get a sense of who these people are. | ||
It's impossible. | ||
I'm sure some people listening right now wish this was, Tom, it's a soundbite. | ||
But no, don't you think, like, if you were on a show right now, like one of those panel shows where there's five people on, they come to you real quick, and you have like 15 seconds of talk, and you're worried that someone else is going to jump in and try to stomp on your punchline. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Which does happen. | ||
If you're trying to do a show, and it was like, just us and our friends, right? | ||
It was like, Chris DeLee was in here, and Brian Callen was in here, and we were all talking, like, man, you better get something out quick. | ||
There's so many other people in the room. | ||
This is what those debates are like. | ||
It's like a condensed version of a conversation. | ||
And you also have an actual physical time limit. | ||
Like, you have X amount of seconds to respond, and then they start talking over you. | ||
I know. | ||
I know. | ||
Your time is up. | ||
Excuse me, Mr. Senator. | ||
Mr. Senator. | ||
Your time's up, Mr. Senator. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, okay! | ||
I know. | ||
Let him finish the sentence, you fuck! | ||
It's crazy. | ||
It's no way to really understand people. | ||
And you have to be a forceful moderator. | ||
But then when you are a forceful moderator, you're like injecting yourself into this conversation. | ||
Yeah. | ||
America doesn't want... | ||
That's a good way for people to hate you. | ||
You want people to hate you? | ||
Yeah. | ||
To be a shitty moderator. | ||
Be a moderator on a presidential debate. | ||
Everybody's gonna fucking hate you. | ||
Everyone's gonna hate your guts. | ||
Yeah, it's... | ||
It's one of those weird, ancient holdovers from the past that is wholly and completely unnecessary and, in fact, probably kind of fucking dangerous. | ||
Because you don't ever get a chance to see what a person's actually like. | ||
You just get a chance to see their show. | ||
Like the Donald Trump show. | ||
Like Donald Trump had a show. | ||
I'd lock you up. | ||
You'd be in jail. | ||
Like that kind of shit. | ||
Right. | ||
Everybody cheers and roars. | ||
That's a show. | ||
It's who's best at television. | ||
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
And he's a fucking television guy. | ||
He's a television star. | ||
He's way better than those clowns. | ||
A star. | ||
Yes. | ||
And he's afraid of insulting people. | ||
When he came through and was debating against the Republicans in that run-up, in all those debates, He got up there like a comedian. | ||
He was like, I'm going to talk about... | ||
I'm in the moment. | ||
I'm going to call everything out. | ||
I'm not going to play this BS of all your little etiquette that you've got going on. | ||
And he was a star. | ||
He was a star. | ||
He knows how to work it. | ||
He still does. | ||
This Biden thing that he's doing now. | ||
He's constantly making fun of Biden, calling him Sleepy Joe Biden. | ||
And he shows some misquote that Biden said. | ||
Something about We're here for the facts, not the truth or something like that. | ||
What is the crazy Biden quote that he had that everybody's been making fun of? | ||
Listen, I say stupid shit all the time. | ||
Everybody does who talks a lot. | ||
If you talk a lot, you're going to jumble your words together. | ||
I do it all the time. | ||
Of course. | ||
But if you're running for president, man, they find something like that, a jumble here, a jumble there, you better be ready to defend yourself. | ||
That's right. | ||
But that's the thing. | ||
Someone has to act the way he acts. | ||
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
You've got to be in the moment. | ||
You've got to call things out. | ||
You've got to be honest. | ||
You've got to be a comic. | ||
You've got to be a comic. | ||
Trump, when he was running, he reminded me of the comics from Long Island. | ||
Big, loud, insult comics. | ||
Biden tells Iowans we choose truth over facts. | ||
What? | ||
What does that mean? | ||
That seems like he might have wrote that. | ||
Truth over fact. | ||
I'd like to see what he said, how he said it. | ||
How did he say it? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because he might have been like, we choose truth over facts, and that's not good. | ||
unidentified
|
When we're together. | |
And ladies and gentlemen, it's time to get up. | ||
unidentified
|
Everybody knows who Donald Trump is. | |
Even his supporters know who he is. | ||
We gotta let them know who we are. | ||
We choose unity over division. | ||
We choose science over fiction. | ||
unidentified
|
We choose truth over facts. | |
And so folks, if you're interested, join me. | ||
Look, we all mess up a line here and there. | ||
He seems like a remote control with a shitty battery. | ||
You know that one? | ||
Where you're like, it's kinda getting the volume, but not quite. | ||
It kinda changes the channels. | ||
You gotta move it around. | ||
Bro, he's got so little juice left in the tank. | ||
I know. | ||
Donald Trump will chew him up. | ||
Unless he gets a good doctor. | ||
You need a good doctor. | ||
He needs to get on steroids immediately. | ||
Don't you think Trump takes something? | ||
For sure. | ||
Yeah, you can't be that age and not be able... | ||
You gotta take something. | ||
Bro, he's got billions of dollars. | ||
Why wouldn't he take something? | ||
Of course. | ||
Supposedly, he has been on some form of amphetamine prescribed by a doctor in the past. | ||
That gives him the sniffles? | ||
That's why he's sniffling all the time? | ||
But he also could have a cold. | ||
I mean, he's fucking 80 years old. | ||
He's the President of the United States. | ||
I'm sure it's a fairly stressful job. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he... | ||
There was a journalist that was claiming that he had some sort of diet pill prescription. | ||
He even brought up the very pharmacy where he got it fulfilled. | ||
Who knows if it's true or not? | ||
But so many people are on Adderall today. | ||
So, so, so... | ||
Have you ever taken it? | ||
No, I have not. | ||
I'm scared. | ||
Jamie gave me some. | ||
I threw it away. | ||
He allegedly gave me some. | ||
Allegedly. | ||
Allegedly because he's not a criminal and I don't have a prescription. | ||
I imagine it's probably pretty fun to write with. | ||
I would imagine it would kill a lot of your creativity. | ||
You think so? | ||
Yeah, because I think it would be great to organize with. | ||
That's how the late, great Robert Schimmel, that's how he described it to me. | ||
I loved him. | ||
I loved him, too. | ||
He gave me my first Starbucks ever. | ||
Did he really? | ||
Wow. | ||
You guys were on the road together or something? | ||
Yeah, we were in New Jersey. | ||
I'm like, no, you know, I stopped drinking milk and stuff. | ||
He's like, come on, come on, come on. | ||
He was always a sweet guy. | ||
I miss him really bad. | ||
Oh, he was so funny. | ||
He was a great person, too. | ||
Oh, so sweet. | ||
Yeah, super nice. | ||
Fucking hilarious. | ||
So funny. | ||
unidentified
|
Fucking hilarious. | |
You ever hear his Siegfried and Roy joke? | ||
Yes, yes, yes. | ||
This shit ends tonight. | ||
He had so many good things. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
But he had a heart condition, right? | ||
You know that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And he accidentally took an Adderall once. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
He thought he was taking some other medication. | ||
I forget what. | ||
He accidentally took the Adderall. | ||
And he goes, I fucking freaked out. | ||
I called my doctor. | ||
I'm like, hey, tell me what the milligrams is, how much did you take? | ||
He said, I took one of these. | ||
He said, don't worry about it. | ||
But you're going to be wide awake for the next 12 hours. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
It's not going to kill you. | ||
It's not that bad. | ||
You're not dying. | ||
And he goes, I went over all my notes. | ||
He goes, I start organizing things. | ||
That's what I've heard from people when they take Adderall. | ||
It makes them want to organize shit. | ||
Oh. | ||
Which is weird. | ||
But not create, necessarily. | ||
If you give me speed, I'm going to want to go run up a hill or something. | ||
I'm going to want to do something stupid. | ||
You have to sit at your desk. | ||
I'm not going to want to organize. | ||
I'm going to be like, yeah! | ||
Yeah, your heart would explode. | ||
I just imagine if I'm on some kind of speed, I'm going to want to do something stupid. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, I always have... | ||
Yeah, you want to be physical. | ||
Yeah, if I drink coffee, if I drink too much coffee, I just start jumping up and down. | ||
I'm like, fuck you! | ||
I've been drinking a ketone aid with coffee, with caffeine in it. | ||
I forget who makes it. | ||
It's like this little drink. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
One of the ketone companies that sends me shit. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
There's a bunch of keto companies. | ||
They'll send you stuff. | ||
They'll send you stuff. | ||
Hey, try our stuff. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I apologize to the company, but they make this shit that has caffeine and ketones together. | ||
It's fucking wonderful before exercise. | ||
You're grinding your teeth just talking about it. | ||
It makes you want to go crazy. | ||
You want to do a real good weightlifting exercise. | ||
Right. | ||
It's good. | ||
It's good, this stuff. | ||
Caffeine's good to work out on. | ||
Fuck yeah. | ||
It's great for lifting. | ||
It opens you up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Opens up the vessels. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It makes you shit your brains out, though. | ||
You've got to be careful. | ||
Well, that's the fun part. | ||
unidentified
|
You have to time it correctly. | |
Right? | ||
There's nothing worse than when I go for a run and a half mile in, you're like, uh-oh. | ||
Called Ketonaid? | ||
Probably. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ben Greenfield, I think. | ||
Oh, is that it? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Is it his company? | ||
Look, I mean. | ||
He's probably just involved with him. | ||
I looked it up on Amazon. | ||
No, that's not the same stuff. | ||
You're there. | ||
No, it looks different. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
But I think he's given me some of that, too. | ||
I think it's very similar. | ||
Does that have caffeine in it? | ||
You still eat that way predominantly? | ||
No. | ||
No? | ||
No. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
No, it's too rigid, and I wasn't enjoying it as much, but I do eat a very low-carb, high-protein, high-fat diet. | ||
That's your balance. | ||
Yeah, but I fuck off. | ||
I'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I want one. | ||
We're going to have so much fun at Musso and Frank's. | ||
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
I'm enjoying it. | ||
But I will eat, like, cream of corn, stuff like that. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
But it's like, for me, I try to think of it as an 80-20 thing. | ||
I eat 80% super healthy, and 20% I allow myself questionable choices. | ||
That's good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Not, like, sugar. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Not processed. | ||
Yeah, but not like 20% dessert. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Right, right. | ||
That's not 20% of my diet. | ||
It's not ice cream or candy or something like that. | ||
No. | ||
I might have spaghetti with clams. | ||
Right, right. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Bread. | ||
Yeah, which is not the good food. | ||
Right. | ||
Vegetables, meat. | ||
That's what I mostly eat. | ||
Vegetables, meat. | ||
No fruit? | ||
Yeah, fruit, sure. | ||
In the mornings? | ||
Mornings. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Usually before a first workout. | ||
I like fruit. | ||
It hydrates you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's easy, too. | ||
It's easy on your body, and you can work out on fruit with no problems at all. | ||
Right, right. | ||
I could run hills with a couple peaches in me. | ||
Right. | ||
It's not going to make me sick. | ||
How great are peaches right now? | ||
unidentified
|
I love peaches. | |
Right now. | ||
I love peaches. | ||
Peaches are... | ||
Ugh. | ||
How did Georgia get so connected with peaches? | ||
Think about that shit. | ||
Right? | ||
If you think about peaches, you think about Georgia. | ||
There's not a goddamn... | ||
Maybe Hawaii and coconuts, but no. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
It's Georgia and peaches. | ||
Georgia and peanuts. | ||
Oh, that's Jimmy Carter, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But what other... | ||
Oh, Florida oranges, I guess. | ||
Florida oranges. | ||
But I think Georgia peaches... | ||
Wisconsin cheese. | ||
Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but that's like dairy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's a process. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
That's not food you're making. | ||
But a fruit that grows in... | ||
Jersey tomatoes. | ||
Yeah, that's like if you were playing Family Feud, that'd be like... | ||
You said Jersey tomatoes! | ||
Let me see tomatoes! | ||
Survey says I'm still doing the voice from the Hogan's Heroes guy as Family Feud. | ||
I don't know if you just noticed that. | ||
The Dawson? | ||
Richard Dawson? | ||
He's the original. | ||
I stick with him. | ||
You don't go Steve Harvey? | ||
Nope. | ||
Well, there was a guy in between him and Steve Harvey. | ||
A guy who committed suicide. | ||
No, there was a guy who killed himself. | ||
Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
Remember that guy? | ||
Yes. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Dead on the feud. | ||
Yeah, what did he do? | ||
Did he die while he was hosting it, or did he quit and then kill himself? | ||
I don't remember. | ||
He hung himself though right? | ||
Yeah I think so. | ||
He was the host of Family Feud right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but I think he had... | ||
Was he the second host? | ||
I think it was over. | ||
Ray Combs? | ||
Ray Combs, that's right. | ||
Ray Combs. | ||
He was the second host, correct? | ||
Probably couldn't live up to the shadow of Richard Dawkins. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, that's the guy. | ||
Man. | ||
He looks sappy. | ||
Tell me that couldn't be a great movie, right? | ||
There's something about that gig. | ||
That smile. | ||
Go back to that first picture with his hands up in the air. | ||
I could see... | ||
I could play that role. | ||
I could see you playing that role. | ||
I was going to go with Steve Carell, but yes. | ||
He's not available. | ||
I'm trying to make some money here. | ||
What if you had a crazy movie about a guy? | ||
Do you remember that movie they did about Hogan's Heroes guy? | ||
About the lead of Hogan's Heroes? | ||
No. | ||
The guy who was with Richard Dawkins on Hogan's Heroes. | ||
One of the guys who was with it... | ||
What the fuck was his name? | ||
There was a movie called... | ||
Not the Gong Show one. | ||
The movie's called Autofocus. | ||
Autofocus, right. | ||
Willem Dafoe. | ||
Yes, Willem Dafoe was one guy, but then there was another guy who played the Hogan's Heroes guy. | ||
What the fuck's his name? | ||
Bob... | ||
Oh, yes. | ||
Bob Crane. | ||
Bob Crane. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Bob Crane. | ||
Wasn't that Greg Kinnear? | ||
Yes. | ||
Greg Kinnear was excellent. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He had a real porn habit, right? | ||
He would make porn, and he would make it with Willem Dafoe. | ||
Apparently, they would be filming girls, and then they think the Willem Dafoe character killed him. | ||
But I don't think they ever solved the crime. | ||
Ah, really? | ||
I think it was one of those murders where they never totally solved the crime. | ||
Is that true? | ||
I'm mashing two movies up. | ||
Because Greg Kinnear also played Chuck Barris from The Gong Show, who was in the CIA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
That was Confessions of a Dangerous Mind? | ||
Was that it? | ||
Something like that. | ||
I feel like that wasn't him, though. | ||
Wasn't that him? | ||
Who the fuck remembers anything anymore? | ||
I have too much data in my stupid head. | ||
It was Sam Rockwell. | ||
Sam Rockwell. | ||
That wasn't Kinnear. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
You know what's an amazing Sam Rockwell movie? | ||
The Moon. | ||
unidentified
|
The Moon. | |
Oh my god. | ||
He's the whole movie. | ||
So good. | ||
I'm telling you folks, this is all I'm going to tell you, but all I'm going to tell you is it's only Sam Rockwell for a whole hour and a half and it's fucking amazing. | ||
I saw that in the theater in New York. | ||
So good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is there even another actor? | ||
Is there one other actor in the movie? | ||
Maybe? | ||
I think you're right. | ||
I think like halfway through or something someone shows up. | ||
I don't want to sell it anymore. | ||
It's good. | ||
It's fucking great. | ||
It's a fucking great movie. | ||
He's such a good actor. | ||
Did you watch Fosse Verdon? | ||
He played Bob Fosse. | ||
It was on FX. No, it was a TV show? | ||
Yeah, about Bob Fosse, you know, the choreographer, and his wife. | ||
I like how you did that. | ||
Verdon. | ||
It was like Chicago. | ||
You did a version of Jazz Hands. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's really good. | ||
Yeah, he's really good in it. | ||
He's a great actor, man. | ||
Yeah, he's really good. | ||
He was dating Leslie Bibb when Leslie Bibb, I did a movie with Kevin James, and Leslie Bibb was playing Kevin James' girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend, and we were competing for her love, and I got to meet that Sam Rockwell guy. | ||
What was the movie? | ||
It was called Zookeeper. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
It's a cute kids movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
It's adorable. | ||
I love everything Kevin James does. | ||
He just makes me laugh. | ||
He's a great guy, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Mall cops? | ||
Come on. | ||
Are there modern, pratfall-type, super-physical comedians in movies today? | ||
No. | ||
He might be the last. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He was very athletic. | ||
He was very light on his feet. | ||
Oh, he was a martial artist. | ||
Is he? | ||
He's very talented. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's very good. | ||
I heard he was really good at basketball. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Yeah. | ||
I believe that. | ||
I mean, he eats a lot, for sure. | ||
He would not be denying that, but his martial arts technique is excellent. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, he's got serious power. | ||
He's got really good punches, really good kicks. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah, he had a bunch of different styles of martial arts that he trained when he was coming up. | ||
Oh, interesting. | ||
Some of it, I think, some of it was kung fu, some of it was karate. | ||
But he knows what he's doing. | ||
He knows what he's doing. | ||
He played a mixed martial artist in that movie Here Comes the Boom. | ||
Right, right. | ||
Yeah, he played a guy who was like a high school coach that was trying to raise money for his school, so he had some UFC fights. | ||
He's physically just so funny. | ||
He is funny. | ||
I remember the comic strip early on, watching him, I think he was famous already, But he had a bit about picking out greeting cards, being in front of the greeting card aisle. | ||
Yes, yes. | ||
Right? | ||
And he would pick them all out and just physically, without a word at times, just looking at the cards. | ||
So damn funny. | ||
He had one of my favorite bits ever about... | ||
It was back in the day when you had automatic locks on a car, and when someone would try to open the door while you were hitting unlock, they would cancel each other out. | ||
So he had this whole super frustrated bit about his girlfriend reaching for the door, and it keeps canceling out, and he's getting more and more frustrated. | ||
No, I mean, so many moments of that in King of Queens. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
All of his, like, physical, just frustration. | ||
Yeah, but, like, physical guys. | ||
Like, if you really stop and think about it, there's so few. | ||
Like, Chris Farley, of course, was a giant physical talent. | ||
Yeah, he was very Ralph Cramden in that way. | ||
Jackie Gleason, a big guy, but very graceful. | ||
Yeah, but, like, um... | ||
He was like an accelerated version, right? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Of like John Belushi. | ||
Like a larger, bigger, more spastic, more crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, he would fucking get sweaty and scream. | ||
Right. | ||
Whereas Belushi was like really physical too, but it didn't get to that thing. | ||
No, his was raw. | ||
Like Farley is more in that Kevin James kind of lightness. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You know what Belushi had? | ||
Belushi had like this weird, hilarious feeling of danger. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like he was dangerous, but it was funny. | ||
That's what I was going to say. | ||
Like in Animal House. | ||
Right. | ||
He was dangerous. | ||
It was reckless. | ||
It was rock and roll. | ||
It was like off kilter. | ||
Yes. | ||
Like when he smashed that guy's guitar when he was playing songs. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
There's danger from him. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Blues Brothers? | ||
Yes. | ||
Yes. | ||
It was dangerous. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That off-kilter kind of thing. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
No. | ||
Kevin James, Farley, they had a sweetness. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
It wasn't danger. | ||
It was energetic, but always you weren't in danger. | ||
But here's a question. | ||
I'm sure someone could do that Belushi thing without drugs. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
But no one has. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Yeah, I know. | ||
Why am I so sure that someone can do it without drugs? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is that just being cocky? | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's like, hey man, you don't need vitamins. | ||
Just eat bread and lift weights. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, you need vitamins. | ||
But that was fueled by, yeah, that was cocaine, right? | ||
Cocaine, probably. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
There's a lot of it. | |
But I think he was doing speedballs, right? | ||
So he was doing cocaine and heroin. | ||
Oh, man. | ||
Isn't that how he died? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's how River Phoenix died, too. | ||
The Chateau Marmont? | ||
Yeah, I don't know. | ||
I don't know. | ||
That's one of the things about great wild people. | ||
Who's really wild now? | ||
Like that? | ||
Nobody really, right? | ||
Nobody that we want to throw under the bus. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like cocaine wildness? | ||
Or just like that reckless danger. | ||
I guess what's his name has a little of it in his acting. | ||
Who? | ||
unidentified
|
Tom... | |
Tom Hardy? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, he's pretty reckless. | ||
He's got that kind of thing. | ||
I mean, he did two movies... | ||
He did the Dunkirk and Batman with his face completely covered. | ||
And he still was able to emote danger. | ||
And he was just able to express so much with half of his face. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That guy's pretty serious. | ||
He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
Yeah, for sure. | ||
He was even good in that movie Warrior. | ||
You ever see that movie Warrior? | ||
Is that when he played two characters? | ||
No. | ||
He played a fighter. | ||
Him and his brother. | ||
It was an MMA movie. | ||
They wound up fighting. | ||
I didn't see that one. | ||
Nick Nolte's in it. | ||
Nick Nolte has this incredible... | ||
Incredible performance. | ||
Nick Nolte completely steals the movie as this guy's alcoholic father, who was a formerly trained, both of them. | ||
That's a wild man. | ||
He's so good. | ||
You forget how goddamn good Nick Nolte is. | ||
Like, whether or not it's drug-fueled or not, there is something to actors who have some manic part to their personality that they can harness, but still... | ||
It's not bullshit when they film it. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Who's that guy on the left? | ||
It doesn't come off as fake. | ||
Nolte. | ||
Venom. | ||
Mickey Rourke. | ||
Oh, it's him from different movies. | ||
Are we saying? | ||
Yeah, Venom, Warrior, and then Bronson, I think. | ||
Yeah, Bronson was like his first big break. | ||
Have you seen the pictures of him playing Capone? | ||
But the Warrior one, look at the one in the middle. | ||
That's what's crazy. | ||
Al Capone? | ||
Dude, he got fucking jacked. | ||
Yeah. | ||
When you see him in the movie, I mean, he looks like a professional fighter. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, there's no ifs, ands, or buts. | ||
Nope. | ||
I mean, he really does. | ||
He looks like a guy who could fight in the UFC, physically. | ||
He got his body into that form. | ||
That's hard to do, man. | ||
Didn't Hanks get diabetes from going up and down so much? | ||
Who? | ||
Tommy Hanks? | ||
Tom Hanks went up and down in weight? | ||
Yeah. | ||
How dare you compare Tom Hanks to Tom Hardy, first of all? | ||
You fuck. | ||
Look at what Tom Hardy did to his fucking body. | ||
Tom Hanks never done that. | ||
No, he didn't. | ||
There's not a fucking chance in this world. | ||
No, he did the other thing. | ||
He got real big and fat. | ||
Do you know who else did that? | ||
But like Castaway, he was really scrawny and then he was like a regular dude. | ||
Maybe he fucked his body over starving himself to death. | ||
Jamie, is there a picture of Hardy as Al Capone that's coming out? | ||
Is that not it? | ||
Yeah, it's not a great shot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you know who else did that for a movie who got super jacked? | ||
In kind of a crazy way? | ||
Jake Gyllenhaal. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
Look at that. | ||
Look at fucking Robert... | ||
Or Al Pacino, rather. | ||
Dick Tracy villain. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
Oh, they're saying he looks like a Dick Tracy villain. | ||
They're making fun of him. | ||
That's Al Pacino. | ||
Al Capone. | ||
That's a bad shot. | ||
That's Al Pacino playing a Dick Tracy character, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's playing Al Capone and Dick Tracy. | ||
Oh, that's what it was. | ||
Same character. | ||
Different movies. | ||
unidentified
|
Google Jake Lillenhall. | |
It's pronounced... | ||
Google that guy from the movie Southpaw. | ||
The movie Southpaw, he was... | ||
Fucking jacked, bro. | ||
He played a boxer. | ||
I mean, fucking shredded. | ||
Dude, look at that. | ||
I mean, he looks like Andre Ward in his prime. | ||
I mean, that's how shredded he is. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
He looks like Roy Jones Jr. almost. | ||
He doesn't look like him at all. | ||
Bro, he is so shredded. | ||
But how much of that is 3D animation? | ||
Oh yeah? | ||
Yes. | ||
You just take steroids and... | ||
Fuck yeah. | ||
I mean, maybe they 3D animated him. | ||
It's possible. | ||
But he looks so good. | ||
Wow. | ||
I mean, well, maybe we should Google that. | ||
Okay, why don't you go back to that picture? | ||
Go back to the picture you just had? | ||
How did Jake Lillenhall get so ripped? | ||
Okay, the Manly Man blog. | ||
Click on that shit. | ||
Yeah, I think he probably took some Mexican supplements and worked out like a motherfucker. | ||
But either way, there's no way you get that ripped without insane work. | ||
Insane. | ||
You're just doing it all the time. | ||
Right. | ||
All steroids are doing is helping you recover. | ||
Makes you recover. | ||
You'll develop more muscle quicker. | ||
But you have to break down the muscle for the muscle to grow. | ||
So you have to go through the workouts. | ||
But doesn't it stimulate the growth of it? | ||
Yes, but you can't be lazy and have that body. | ||
It is fucking impossible. | ||
It says, for five months long, he'd been working out twice a day. | ||
Even on Sundays, his workout regime was about four to six hours a day. | ||
He started training as a fighter, sparring with real opponents and taking in some real punches. | ||
His boxing workout consisted of all the things that a boxer would do. | ||
Shadow boxing, heavy bag, speedball, sparring, focus pads, double end rounds. | ||
He says, I was sparring and really getting hit. | ||
It helped me understand the sacrifice it takes to be a fighter. | ||
You can't play a boxer and just look like a boxer. | ||
You have to believe that you can exist in that world. | ||
That's a good actor. | ||
He's an amazing actor. | ||
unidentified
|
Dedicated. | |
He's always been an amazing actor. | ||
No, he's really good. | ||
He's great in everything. | ||
I know. | ||
There was something recently I just saw he was in. | ||
I forget. | ||
Brokeback Mountain. | ||
No. | ||
Stop playing games. | ||
That's what you were watching. | ||
Alright. | ||
That's a rare person that can do that. | ||
I don't care what he was taking. | ||
If you're working out six hours a day, there is not a fucking drug in the world that gets you that discipline. | ||
You have to do that. | ||
You have to do that yourself. | ||
You have to force yourself. | ||
It's mostly willpower. | ||
Well, I'm pals with Jason Bourne. | ||
Jason Bourne's not a real person. | ||
It's not? | ||
I'm sorry, what? | ||
Who do you think Jason Bourne is? | ||
He's a character in a movie. | ||
No. | ||
He works for the government. | ||
Wait. | ||
How do you say I'm pals with a... | ||
From Bourne Identity? | ||
Yeah, why don't you say I'm pals with Superman? | ||
Makes just as much sense. | ||
Jason Bourne's not a real person. | ||
Wait, what? | ||
Who are you saying you're friends with? | ||
Jason Bourne. | ||
unidentified
|
Um... | |
He's... | ||
Matt Damon? | ||
He had three movies. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Okay. | ||
Matt Damon was at the Improv the other night. | ||
He was? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I didn't get a chance to say hi if he hears this. | ||
Hi, Matt Damon. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I love that guy. | ||
I'm very impressed with him. | ||
He's great. | ||
He seems like a really interesting person, too. | ||
He's a very, very wise person. | ||
He is. | ||
He's very smart. | ||
But watching him for the last Bourne movie... | ||
He knows how to fight. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
He's got a great trainer. | ||
Matt Bayamonte? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Oh, look at him. | ||
You're holding your hands up while you're saying his name. | ||
He must be legit. | ||
Angelo Dundee. | ||
Did he really? | ||
Yeah, he's legit. | ||
He's a great guy. | ||
But watching the two of them train all the time, and it was like when he dials in, it's like that's their life. | ||
Well, you can tell when you watch someone doing something in a movie whether or not they put the time in. | ||
Right. | ||
Like Keanu Reeves in John Wick. | ||
Right. | ||
That motherfucker put in the time. | ||
I'm buying everything. | ||
Hook, line, and sinker. | ||
I'm buying him kicking people's asses. | ||
I'm buying him shooting people. | ||
He shoots guns like a guy who's been tactically trained, like a guy who's a real assassin. | ||
I buy every fucking second of it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Even though it's cartoonish and over the top and crazy. | ||
Sure, sure. | ||
But you can tell. | ||
Yeah, when he grabs people, flips them on their head and breaks their arm and stomps their head and then shoots them when they're down, I'm in. | ||
Yeah, yeah, he did it. | ||
He did it. | ||
Right. | ||
It's legit. | ||
That's why I do more comedic roles. | ||
That's a good move, dude. | ||
Way less pounding on the joints. | ||
Like my friend Tate, Tate Fletcher, he just got a concussion from doing a scene in a movie where he was doing some stunt work. | ||
Tate does a lot of acting, but he also does a lot of stunt work, too. | ||
And he hit his head and hurt it real bad. | ||
He's real light-sensitive right now, and he's taking CBD. Oh, man. | ||
Yeah, and Tate had a career as a fighter as well. | ||
So he fought in the UFC. He had quite a few professional fights. | ||
And a lot of sparring in between the professional fights. | ||
A lot of sparring rounds. | ||
So he's kind of sensitive to getting hit in the head anyway. | ||
He doesn't want to get hit in the head anymore. | ||
For him to fall on the set. | ||
Oof. | ||
That world of a stuntman, like we were talking about Gene LaBelle and the Brad Pitt character, those are the toughest fucking people in Hollywood. | ||
Oh man, come on. | ||
Toughest animals. | ||
It's a hard way to make a living, man. | ||
You're always falling out of the back of trucks and wrecking motorcycles on purpose. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
unidentified
|
Fuck, man. | |
I wonder if the number of stuntmen has gone down since animation 3D stuff has started... | ||
That's interesting. | ||
...has improved. | ||
I bet there's a lot less of it. | ||
I bet you're right. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
But for some things, you need a stunt person. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You need someone also to tell you... | ||
Those guys are so wild, though. | ||
like we had stunt guys that developed a lot of the uh events on fear factor they developed a lot of them like a lot of times what would happen was like the producers would come to the stuntman and the stuntman and they would say hey this is what we want to do we want to take a helicopter and throw someone off in a fucking bungee bungee cord in between these two mountains like can we do this without killing anybody and then the stunt guys has to look at it and say okay let me see how we can make this so that no one dies right | ||
but they are willing to take so much more risk than regular personally Their idea of you getting hurt, they're not worried about getting hurt like a normal person. | ||
Right, no. | ||
That's like Alex Honnold, right? | ||
The guy, he really doesn't have fear. | ||
No, no, no, no. | ||
He's, that's different. | ||
Is it? | ||
Yeah, yeah, that's different. | ||
Because the stuntman, that would be if Alex Honnold was telling you, you can climb that wall. | ||
Right. | ||
Because he's doing it himself, and he knows he's really good at it. | ||
The thing about the stunt guys is, the stunt guys, They're not trying to get anybody hurt, but they're not worried about getting hurt themselves. | ||
Their idea of getting hurt is slightly different than a regular person's because they're just so fucking tough. | ||
And they're used to doing it. | ||
They're used to jumping off fucking horses and shit. | ||
So we had this one event where they were making the contestants ride bulls. | ||
And there's only two times in the history of that show where I was like, don't do this. | ||
Don't do this. | ||
And that was a big one. | ||
And I was like, you guys are crazy. | ||
These are bulls. | ||
And this is really what he said to me, the stunt guy said. | ||
He goes, oh, don't worry about it, boo. | ||
These are stunt bulls. | ||
I go, they're stunt bulls. | ||
He goes, yeah, they're less aggressive. | ||
I go, does that bull know he's a stunt bull? | ||
I bet he thinks he's a bull. | ||
I bet he thinks he's a bull, and I bet he's not going to like the fact that all these fucking people are riding him. | ||
Because you're having like eight people ride him, or I don't know how many people, like six, six people ride him. | ||
If I wasn't a stunt bull, I'd be so pissed right now. | ||
Dude, that bull launched these people through the fucking air. | ||
Launched them the way you would shake a tennis ball off your forehand. | ||
If you had a tennis ball in your hand, you would just do it like that. | ||
It would go flying. | ||
That's what those people did with these... | ||
That's what the bull did with these people. | ||
Jeez. | ||
Literally, if you took a ball and just underhanded it, people would fly! | ||
Did anyone get really hurt in the taping of that show at all? | ||
No. | ||
Not once? | ||
That is, come on, seven. | ||
That's what that was. | ||
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Right. | |
That was a lot of that. | ||
For sure with the bolt one. | ||
Because the bolt one, the bolt kicked in the air and was just barely missing people's heads. | ||
Jesus. | ||
Dude, I was watching. | ||
I was like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
I told everyone to not do it. | ||
I was like, don't do it. | ||
The people are like, well, I want to get that 50 grand. | ||
I go... | ||
Listen to me, man. | ||
I get what you're saying, but this is not the time for you. | ||
You weigh 98 pounds. | ||
This is a fucking bull. | ||
There's another way to get this money. | ||
It just seems like a way to get injured for the rest of your life. | ||
What about Mark Wahlberg? | ||
You see all his videos, how he gets up at 2.30 and goes into the gym? | ||
You ever see his Instagram? | ||
I have not. | ||
I did see a thing with him and James Corden, though. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
Where James tried to do the workouts with him. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
They went over to Marky Mark's basement, and they worked out together. | ||
He keeps posting, like, he gets up at 2.30, they're in the gym at 3. His home gym's incredible. | ||
And he goes to bed at 7 o'clock, because he's up at 2, and he's... | ||
Wow. | ||
It's obviously working for him. | ||
Super disciplined guy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And he's in great shape. | ||
But James Corden tried to do the workout with him. | ||
It's pretty funny. | ||
unidentified
|
That's pretty funny. | |
He's got a gym in his house that's like a gym gym. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Going to the gym. | ||
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|
Wow. | |
That's his whole house. | ||
So this section of his house where the gym is is epic. | ||
So they had all these crazy workouts they were doing. | ||
Wow. | ||
Well, I guess if those are the roles that you're playing, you gotta do it. | ||
Badasses. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
He's always doing, like he played Mickey Ward in that movie The Fighter. | ||
Remember that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, he's always doing those action roles. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But, you know, you could sleep in, too. | ||
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|
Still work out at 10. Yeah, why do you have to be in at 2.30 in the morning? | |
I'm not totally... | ||
That's not healthy for you. | ||
The only thing that's big about that is that you know that you are getting up early. | ||
You know. | ||
Like my friend Jocko. | ||
He gets up every day at 4.30 in the morning and his entire Instagram is photos of his watch. | ||
At 4.30 in the morning and then crazy workouts that he's doing. | ||
Or shooting his bow or, you know, he's doing jujitsu. | ||
When do you wake up? | ||
I usually wake up around 7 or 8. I like to do different things early in the morning. | ||
I like to take yoga some mornings. | ||
I like to lift weights some mornings. | ||
I don't generally like to do jiu-jitsu at 8 in the morning. | ||
I like to do jiu-jitsu around noon to wake up. | ||
Right. | ||
I like to eat something, too, because it's so ruthless. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't want to be hungry in Jiu-Jitsu class. | ||
I want to be hydrated and fueled two hours after a meal. | ||
That's why I want to go into something like that. | ||
But something where I can just push myself and I don't worry about being strangled. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Kettlebells or something like that. | ||
I'll do a brutal kettlebell workout first thing in the morning. | ||
I'll just have a caffeine drink and maybe a couple pieces of fruit. | ||
And just go. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's good. | ||
Now, you do spots late at night, so do you shut it down at some point during the day? | ||
Do you nap? | ||
No. | ||
No. | ||
You never nap? | ||
No. | ||
No. | ||
I don't think I need it. | ||
Interesting. | ||
I don't feel it ever helps. | ||
Right. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, I'd rather power through. | ||
But I get it if you need it. | ||
If I felt like I needed it. | ||
Like, I definitely took a bunch of naps when I got back from Italy because I was whacked out. | ||
Because I would sleep. | ||
It was the time changing. | ||
Yeah, it fucked me up, man. | ||
I would sleep for like three hours and then I would wake up and I'd be like, why am I wide awake? | ||
It's two in the morning. | ||
It's just so stupid. | ||
And then I would be up and then I'd get really sleepy around six. | ||
I'd try to sleep for an hour before I had to wake up. | ||
Then I woke up again. | ||
I would take a nap in the afternoon. | ||
It took like a good four or five days before that leveled out and I started sleeping on a normal schedule. | ||
But you work out so much, you're burning energy. | ||
Usually when you're really in shape, you don't need naps. | ||
But you should use TM for your brain. | ||
Yeah, that sounds like I should do it. | ||
Why don't you just give me a mantra? | ||
Why don't you come up with a mantra for me? | ||
Why don't you become my instructor? | ||
You've been doing it long enough. | ||
I don't want to go to some other dude. | ||
Diaz. | ||
Just Diaz? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Which one? | ||
Nick or Joey? | ||
How about Nate? | ||
Nate. | ||
Nate Diaz? | ||
No, Joey. | ||
Joey? | ||
Joey Diaz? | ||
Just think Joey Diaz. | ||
Joey Diaz. | ||
You could just do it. | ||
You could just create a, just use OM. I mean, I don't understand why. | ||
Yeah, why do you have a mantra? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Tell us your mantra, bro. | ||
I can't. | ||
Come on. | ||
I can't. | ||
Tom. | ||
I'm not allowed. | ||
They'll come and get me. | ||
That's so not true. | ||
Huh? | ||
That's so not true. | ||
No, they won't come and get me, but it's kind of a personal thing because it has no meaning. | ||
If I say it, then you're going to say something back. | ||
Now there's something attached to it. | ||
That's why you don't say it. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's a pure word. | ||
It's just a pure sound that has no mental attachments to it. | ||
In the earliest days of religion, wasn't it a problem if you said God's name? | ||
Aren't there, like, certain sects of religion that don't think that you should say God's name? | ||
Like, whatever God's name is? | ||
Whatever it's... | ||
Todd? | ||
Yeshua? | ||
Or whatever it is. | ||
Whatever the name of God is. | ||
Isn't... | ||
Why am I... I'm trying to remember this. | ||
Sounds like a Jordan Peterson thing. | ||
Yeah, he would know. | ||
He would know the answer to it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, obviously! | ||
I like the way he says, obviously. | ||
That's pretty good. | ||
That's very Canadian. | ||
You might be a Canadian spy. | ||
Well, obviously! | ||
You can't talk about the name without it coming back at you, obviously! | ||
It's pretty good, right? | ||
He's one of the most misinterpreted guys I think I've ever met. | ||
Not just willfully misinterpreted, where people take the words and the things that he's saying and willfully misconstrue them. | ||
They purposefully Change what he's saying to make it more offensive, more unreasonable. | ||
People are angry. | ||
Why? | ||
Well, it's hard to say. | ||
I think part of it has to do with the way he initially came onto the scene. | ||
Oh, because of the transgender thing? | ||
Yes. | ||
He was very concerned that they were forcing people to use certain language, new pronouns. | ||
Right. | ||
And people are saying, like, why do you have a problem with people's pronouns? | ||
And he's saying, that's not what I'm saying. | ||
The problem is not whether or not I would have a problem with someone's pronouns. | ||
The problem is being legally compelled to use these new words that someone's inventing. | ||
He's like, I am not doing this. | ||
Right, the government telling me how I can speak. | ||
Exactly. | ||
Not just that, the government also being influenced by people who want you to be legally compelled to say their pronouns. | ||
It's a slippery slope of control more than it is a thing of culture or of morals or compassion or being progressive. | ||
He's not saying that. | ||
He's saying it based on his very deep understanding of history and of some communist dictatorships that have gone horribly wrong, horribly wrong some Marxist philosophies that he's aware of that he thinks are horribly damaging and dangerous if implemented on a large scale. | ||
Like if you allow large groups of people to control language and to legally compel people to say these new words that you're inventing. | ||
Right. | ||
He's like, this is not good. | ||
This is a bad path for humans. | ||
Right. | ||
Just historically, it's a bad path. | ||
Right. | ||
And so that's how he broke onto the scene. | ||
And in that time period, all these people who opposed what he was saying, they were labeling him as transphobic. | ||
They were labeling him as homophobic. | ||
All these different things that are not true. | ||
Right. | ||
Then he gets connected to this Pepe the Frog thing, right? | ||
Because he thinks it's kind of hilarious that the internet has taken on Pepe the Frog as like this meme. | ||
The feels good man frog. | ||
I don't know that. | ||
You didn't know the whole thing? | ||
No. | ||
Wow, where have you been living, man? | ||
Stop meditating and read the fucking newspaper. | ||
No, but I listen to them all the time. | ||
I didn't know any of this. | ||
You don't know if Pepe the Frog is racist? | ||
No. | ||
Okay, this is serious. | ||
Okay. | ||
You have to know this, because if somebody wants you to take a picture with this fucking Pepe the Frog thing, there are a certain group of people out there who will decide Tom Papa is some sort of alt-white, white nationalist, white supremacist, Nazi person. | ||
What? | ||
No bullshit. | ||
A fucking frog. | ||
A frog? | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
Yeah. | ||
You know why? | ||
Why? | ||
Because some people have used that frog in a negative way. | ||
Most people use that frog as a joke. | ||
Like, it feels bad, man, and the frog is like, hmm. | ||
It's an animated thing? | ||
It's just a frog. | ||
Just a cartoon of a frog. | ||
Okay. | ||
But the alt-right, or I shouldn't even say the alt-right, people on internet forums would constantly and consistently use that frog as a joke about everything. | ||
Like they had Donald Trump's hair on that frog. | ||
But it's more humor and mocking and making fun of things. | ||
And as the British would say, taking the piss. | ||
He's taking the piss with the frog. | ||
But... | ||
There were a few that would have the frog with like a swastika armband and a fucking Nazi hat on. | ||
unidentified
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Sure. | |
Why? | ||
Because they're internet people. | ||
Right. | ||
Like, you leave something on the internet off there long enough, someone's going to put a Nazi flag on. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It doesn't mean that it's a symbol of Nazis, or that it's a symbol of white supremacy, because that's not what it was. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
And so he dared logically argue this. | ||
And people were very, very upset. | ||
And they thought he was defending... | ||
Yes. | ||
He's defending white nationalists. | ||
He's saying, no, no, no. | ||
It's a fucking cartoon frog, guys. | ||
And it's not only that. | ||
It's a cartoon frog written by a guy who specifically sued people to get them to stop using the cartoon flag. | ||
Even Alex Jones had to pay out a lawsuit because InfoWars used an image of that cartoon flag. | ||
Can you see if that's true? | ||
I'm pretty sure that's true. | ||
But it was a nominal amount. | ||
He lost it in court, but it was a very small... | ||
$15,000 he had to pay. | ||
For Alex, that's not a lot of money. | ||
Settlement. | ||
It's a settlement. | ||
So I'm sure he paid way more in legal fees to deal with something like that. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
If they had to put together some sort of a defense for $15,000, I'm sure that would probably cost a shitload of money. | ||
But the point is that this frog has all these different meanings. | ||
So as soon as it gets connected, though, to an awful thing, then immediately you've got to go, oh, okay, well, you can never use that frog again. | ||
Because now the frog's corrupted. | ||
Now, given what we know, and here's where it gets really weird, given what we know about the internet and specifically foreign influence on memes, like Russia, there were factories that were making funny memes about Hillary Clinton, Right. | ||
Funny memes about all kinds of things. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And doing so in order to get people upset or to laugh or to mock certain ideas and push the narrative one way or another through humor. | ||
And they made some really funny ones. | ||
There was a woman named Renee DiResta. | ||
She came on the podcast. | ||
She was explaining. | ||
For a project, she had to go through hundreds of thousands of these things. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
She's like, some of them were really funny. | ||
Right. | ||
And these were ones that they know were made by Russians. | ||
Right. | ||
They were made to try to get people upset about certain things. | ||
unidentified
|
Jeez. | |
How many of those Pepe the Frog things came from? | ||
Came from that. | ||
Right. | ||
How many? | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Because if you had a frog that was mocking everybody, and the frog, like, was a really good symbol to make someone think that you're a fool. | ||
So, like, you say something ridiculous, and you're trying to push for something, and then that frog is in a meme with you, what you're saying, but he looks like an idiot. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
All of a sudden, you look like an idiot. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
And the frog's mocking you. | ||
Like, you can't beat the frog. | ||
Right. | ||
But you can turn the frog into a Nazi. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Now a Nazi. | ||
So he got caught up in this? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He took a photo with these guys. | ||
And he's talked about Pepe the Frog on my podcast. | ||
Talked about it. | ||
Explained the whole thing to me in depth. | ||
And yet I've seen articles connecting him to white nationalists because there's a photo of him with the frog. | ||
Jeez Louise. | ||
Pull up photo of Jordan Peterson with Pepe the Frog. | ||
Because he took a photo with these guys where they had like a frog flag. | ||
And he thought it as what we're just saying. | ||
That there's these guys that are taking the piss. | ||
It's like a flat Stanley or something. | ||
Exactly. | ||
Right? | ||
He thought it's like an innocent... | ||
A man's internet version of Flat Stanley. | ||
And it's, I think, primarily a 4chan thing. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Jamie knows this shit more than I do, honestly. | ||
There he is. | ||
So, see? | ||
He's standing there with these guys. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
These two fellas are holding up this Pepe the Frog flag, and Jordan's laughing and smiling with them. | ||
And one of them has a, I think it's a Make America Great Again hat on. | ||
Look, these kids are human trolls. | ||
They're alive. | ||
Wow. | ||
Think of a troll on the internet. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And then think of one that thinks it's hilarious to be out there in public trolling with Peppy the Frog flag and a Make America Great Again hat. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
He's fucking with people. | ||
This is what this is. | ||
It's a lot of what internet culture is. | ||
Jordan understands this and talks about it and discusses it in length and he makes it make sense. | ||
So that's one other reason why people are upset at him. | ||
It's just very easy to label people in certain ways today. | ||
It's very easy to label someone as a misogynist. | ||
But if you listen to the breadth of his work, this is not a bad person. | ||
He's a He's a very good person. | ||
He's very enlightening. | ||
There's a lot of real practical ways to, as he says, clean up your room and live right. | ||
Well, he's a personal friend of mine. | ||
I like him very much as a human. | ||
Well, obviously, how do you say? | ||
You think about these things. | ||
You're trying to... | ||
You're trying to have a conversation. | ||
It shows how actually articulate he is because you can't come up with things that he would say that make sense. | ||
Well, I know. | ||
It's hard, right? | ||
There's no catchphrase for him. | ||
Obviously, clean up your damn room! | ||
Clean up your damn room! | ||
He's got a lot of great advice. | ||
And he's also a very, very insightful person. | ||
unidentified
|
And he's not a bad guy at all. | |
It's just people have this horrible thing that they do today where when they want to dismiss someone instead of... | ||
Instead of listening to them and debating the points that they have or analyzing them in an objective kind way, they try to attack. | ||
Everybody's attacking. | ||
Everything sucks. | ||
Everybody sucks. | ||
Everybody's stupid. | ||
Everybody's racist. | ||
Everybody's dumb. | ||
Everybody's ridiculous. | ||
Everybody's a liar. | ||
Everybody's shit. | ||
You're not on my team. | ||
You're on someone else's team. | ||
There's just so much of that today. | ||
It's unnecessary. | ||
I really enjoy listening to him. | ||
I enjoy all those biblical speeches that he gives about trying to interpret the Old Testament and stuff like that. | ||
It's very, very interesting. | ||
I've never heard somebody connect Our practical, trying to find our way through the woods to those writings. | ||
Like, you always just heard of it as growing up as a Catholic kid. | ||
You just kind of heard them as like, they're stories and they're obviously, you know, they're metaphors and whatever. | ||
But I never heard somebody really say, no, it's how you treat your father and the way you're trying to figure out your way through life. | ||
That's what these things mean. | ||
Like, you know, he is a, it's a very fascinating listener. | ||
Yeah, he's got a very unusual way of interpreting biblical verses and stories from the Bible, stories from other religions as well, where he's explaining how it sort of interfaces with man's search for meaning. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
It's like a practical way to kind of approach the world. | ||
In a time when we have nothing to hang on to, it's kind of interesting stuff to think about. | ||
Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why some people think that it's survived as long as it has, that there is some merit in using it as a framework for living your life. | ||
Yeah, you know, there's like some practice, like we were saying earlier, of having some kind of a guidebook, you know, to get you through life, like even just in the etiquette manner stuff. | ||
It's also the big stuff. | ||
It's like... | ||
You know, I had a friend whose father passed away and it's like, it's a hard thing when you don't have a framework, a guidebook to help you deal with that and get through the woods and you're just kind of out there on your own. | ||
Right, they're just gone, they're not in heaven. | ||
Right. | ||
And I'm watching my grandparents, my two grandmothers who went to church all the time. | ||
And they didn't muddy themselves with whether or not this was the answer. | ||
But it gave them structure. | ||
And it gave them, okay, so the neighbor died, and we go to the church, and we go to the wake, and we go to the thing, and then we have cake, and then we sit and pay visit to his widower, to the widow, the next week. | ||
Like, these things, these roots, these pathways made them very happy people. | ||
It wasn't like kind of overthinking, well, is the church bullshit? | ||
They didn't care about that. | ||
They didn't get into, maybe it is, maybe it's not, is it... | ||
Is it all the answers? | ||
They didn't get that far. | ||
They just got, this is how you deal with this funeral of your neighbor. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
There's like that practical little guidebook stuff that we kind of lack right now. | ||
Like Wild West Christianity, right? | ||
One of the things about Wild West films, maybe it's accurate, maybe it's not. | ||
But one of the things that I always enjoyed is the simplistic way that they interface with the world. | ||
The way they discuss the way things are. | ||
Well... | ||
I guess we're just going to have to go do that, man. | ||
There wasn't a lot of hemming and hawing, and everybody just got stuff done. | ||
And they had that sort of pioneer mentality, right? | ||
Like, they were rough folks. | ||
So if they were talking about Jesus and what a good God-fearing Christian would do, they had a very clear and distinct framework for where they would operate. | ||
They played by those rules. | ||
Yeah, I'm a good Christian, so this is how I feel. | ||
And you'd be like, wow, the simplicity and ruggedness of this guy's vision... | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
And then, you know, is it corrupted by people? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is it, you know, do they use that to go attack some Native Americans? | ||
What's hotter than, like, a pioneer woman who's hot? | ||
Ooh. | ||
Like a pioneer-type woman who's actually hot, who can, like, do chores and shit and works hard. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Like, she's surviving. | ||
Like, you're out there, both of you are clawing and scratching. | ||
She's hot as fuck, though. | ||
Hot as fuck, but yet a pioneer woman. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Something sexy as fuck about that, right? | ||
That's a good one. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's a good one. | ||
And they had those big fluffy things they wore on their legs under the dresses. | ||
Yeah, like fucking robbers are trying to take over the wagon, just shooting at them. | ||
Pew, pew, pew. | ||
Yeah, some dudes with masks on. | ||
unidentified
|
I got your paw! | |
Like the first season of Westworld? | ||
Yeah, like that girl. | ||
I got your paw! | ||
That's right, that girl from Westworld, hot as fuck. | ||
She's so hot. | ||
There she is. | ||
God damn, dude, that's the perfect world. | ||
That's the perfect woman. | ||
A really, really hot, badass western chick. | ||
What is that woman's name again? | ||
She's really good too. | ||
I don't think that she'd... | ||
Whatever her name is as an actress. | ||
What's her name as an actress? | ||
Would she like an L.A. comedian though? | ||
What's that? | ||
Would she like an L.A. comedian? | ||
Only a bald one who makes bread. | ||
Evan Rachel Wood. | ||
She's hot. | ||
She's not just hot. | ||
She's a really good actor. | ||
She's really good. | ||
You believe she's a struggling robot trying to figure out if she's real or not. | ||
Trying to figure out what these memories that she has are. | ||
But she's also hot as the sun. | ||
Woo! | ||
She is beautiful. | ||
She's not just beautiful. | ||
She's a very specific kind of beautiful. | ||
Right. | ||
Like an uncorrupted beauty. | ||
Right. | ||
She ain't like a hoe. | ||
Right. | ||
She's not out there with like something. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Her ass sticking out, like washing a car. | ||
She's hot. | ||
She has dignity. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Well... | ||
She's a robot. | ||
She's a robot. | ||
But don't show that one. | ||
That's not a good picture of her. | ||
Get one of her when she's in a dress. | ||
Someone has a very personal relationship with this. | ||
Yes! | ||
Shut your mouth, bro! | ||
She's my hot robot friend. | ||
Back off. | ||
If robots were that close to people, if you could actually make love to a robot, that Westworld concept, the freakiest part of that is that they fuck these things and kill these things. | ||
Right. | ||
Not that these things become sentient and they realize it and they try to escape the park. | ||
Do they feel like they've got skin? | ||
Like it feels like a person? | ||
You can't distinguish. | ||
They don't even know sometimes if they're robots. | ||
unidentified
|
How about that? | |
That's how good it is. | ||
That's pretty great. | ||
I'd have sex with a robot. | ||
Fuck yeah, you would. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He'd probably have sex with a balloon. | ||
I was going to say, there's not much I wouldn't. | ||
Probably have sex with a lot of stuff. | ||
It's just a matter of like, what if someone said, if you don't have sex with this thing, your whole family dies. | ||
You'd have sex with it. | ||
I hate when someone says, oh, I would never fuck a pineapple. | ||
Yes, you would. | ||
If your life depended on it, if someone had a gun to your fucking head and said, you fuck that pineapple or I'm going to kill your dog. | ||
Fine. | ||
You'll fuck the pineapple. | ||
You have to just reach a breaking point. | ||
Please. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'd do it again. | ||
So, have you paid attention to this Jeffrey Epstein stuff? | ||
Yeah, a little bit. | ||
What do you think is going on? | ||
I think... | ||
I think he... | ||
If you had a guess. | ||
I think that too many very powerful people... | ||
He had stuff on too many very powerful people. | ||
Likely, right? | ||
Probably. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They took the guy off suicide watch, even though he's one of the most important witnesses. | ||
Yeah, weird. | ||
In a really creepy, high-profile case that might have connected a bunch of really powerful people. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't necessarily believe that it's, you know, the people from, like, it's Trump or it's the Democrats. | ||
I think there's other very powerful people that would have wanted this guy to go away. | ||
Oh, for sure. | ||
We have no idea how many very powerful people want this guy to go away. | ||
He could sing. | ||
Right. | ||
He could sing for his freedom. | ||
My question is, is there... | ||
Didn't they get a whole bunch of evidence and stuff from him that these powerful people would have... | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Where is all that stuff? | ||
Yeah. | ||
You said you didn't know that he had a cellmate. | ||
This was the guy that was his cellmate. | ||
That's his cellmate? | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
How hard do you think that guy fucked him? | ||
He's a former cop. | ||
Jeffrey Epstein reportedly wasn't checked on for hours before his apparent suicide. | ||
That guy found him there? | ||
Why do we think that that guy didn't kill him? | ||
They left a rope in there? | ||
That guy could definitely kill him without leaving any evidence. | ||
That guy looks like he could do some damage. | ||
Look at the guy's arms. | ||
That guy could just wrap Jeffrey Epstein up in a bear hug and hang him himself. | ||
Maybe he just choked him. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, he could put that noose around Epstein's neck and then squeeze his arms together and just pull on it until the guy hangs to death and then go, oh my god, I found him hanged. | ||
That guy's jacked. | ||
Imagine you go to jail in a high-profile case and they throw you in there with a giant bald guy. | ||
That's like Grossberger from Stir Crazy. | ||
But look at this. | ||
This is like caricature of the guy you don't want to be stuck in a prison with. | ||
It literally is the guy. | ||
In the bad movie, that's the guy waiting for you in the cell. | ||
Ex-cop. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He looks like... | ||
What is his name? | ||
What'd he go to jail for? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Look at his name. | ||
Tartaglione! | ||
Nicholas Tartaglione! | ||
The deaths of four men. | ||
Stepping from an alleged cocaine drug conspiracy. | ||
And bro, he's that big and he's 51. How many cops are smuggling steroids in their asshole to get to this guy? | ||
How's he staying that big? | ||
So he hung himself? | ||
So they had like a belt or a rope left in there with him? | ||
This guy probably said, listen, if you keep getting me the juice, I'll keep this fucking guy on ice. | ||
Right. | ||
They said this is the one conspiracy where nobody believes the true story that I've talked to. | ||
No, nobody. | ||
Except Michael Shermer. | ||
Who? | ||
Michael Shermer, the guy who runs Skeptics Magazine. | ||
He's a friend of mine. | ||
Nice guy. | ||
I couldn't disagree with him more. | ||
He thinks that things just happen and people kill themselves. | ||
That's his take on it. | ||
He likes a lot of conspiracies? | ||
No, no. | ||
He silences conspiracies. | ||
He's never met a conspiracy he likes. | ||
He doesn't like any conspiracies. | ||
And this one is almost predictable. | ||
He's right in a way. | ||
And he's still like now? | ||
He's right in a way. | ||
And I think his concept is, pull up his tweets so we can read what he's saying. | ||
I mean, you're not in a good place. | ||
You can see wanting to kill yourself. | ||
Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
Make that larger, please. | ||
I don't know where he started. | ||
Just make it larger. | ||
It just seems... | ||
Scroll down a little bit there. | ||
Okay. | ||
A new conspiracy theory developed on Epstein regarding suicide. | ||
They made it happen on purpose. | ||
Okay, here it is. | ||
Scroll down. | ||
If some no-name pedophile died by suicide in prison awaiting trial, would anyone bother concocting conspiracy theories about him being murdered by clandestine outside forces? | ||
Of course not. | ||
As with JFK, Diana, Marilyn, et al., fame warps perspective and fuels unwarranted speculation. | ||
First of all, This is not unwarranted. | ||
Second of all, if you don't think that powerful people have people killed, you're hilarious. | ||
Like, that is willfully naive. | ||
They do do it. | ||
It says, True. | ||
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Sure. | |
You shouldn't do that. | ||
It is possible. | ||
But what are the odds? | ||
There's something where it stinks so bad. | ||
Because he's in so many circles and touched so many super powerful people. | ||
It's different. | ||
Super powerful people. | ||
Not only that. | ||
He's not just a pedophile like he's saying. | ||
Somebody gave him a $70 million house in New York City. | ||
Gave him? | ||
Gave him. | ||
One of his clients. | ||
Gave him. | ||
He was the power of attorney at the time, so he signed it over to himself. | ||
But the guy let him do that. | ||
That's the question, is whether or not he even knew what was happening. | ||
Oh, come on. | ||
Like he just stole the house from the guy? | ||
He was in control of a lot of stuff. | ||
That's what's coming out now. | ||
A $70 million house? | ||
Who gave it to us? | ||
That's what's coming out now. | ||
But how would the guy who he signed it off on, how would the guy not know this guy stole his house and not sue him? | ||
He was in control of all of his finances. | ||
Right, but he was living in the house. | ||
Who? | ||
The guy? | ||
Wexner? | ||
No! | ||
Epstein. | ||
He bought the house for him, basically. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
The guy bought it for Epstein. | ||
Right. | ||
But who fucking buys you a $70 million house? | ||
Hey, I don't know. | ||
No one's bought me nothing! | ||
There's so many questions about this guy, about where his wealth was, and then the color of his house. | ||
Didn't he? | ||
The eyeballs on the entrance and stuff. | ||
The shit about the house is crazy, too. | ||
Well, there's cameras inside the house and shit, but the other thing was the house that's on the island that is the same color. | ||
It's painted in the same way the Israeli flag is. | ||
And there was an idea. | ||
People are wondering how far this guy's influence goes and where it comes from. | ||
Look at this house. | ||
Bro. | ||
That was his house? | ||
That was his house on this fucking island. | ||
On the island, it was like a building there. | ||
That's a temple we had on his island. | ||
Bro, that's a dope temple, by the way. | ||
That thing looks awesome. | ||
Jeez. | ||
I would love that if that was my house. | ||
Come on in. | ||
How'd he get so much money? | ||
Exactly. | ||
No one really knows. | ||
Didn't he have something to do with Victoria's Secret? | ||
Yeah, he managed some money for the Victoria's Secrets guy that owned that. | ||
He's the guy who gave him the house. | ||
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You know, Bill Clinton flew on his private jet no less than 26 times. | |
Whatever. | ||
No big deal. | ||
He was a good guy. | ||
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Yeah, but I mean, I flew with him 26 times. | |
I've never flown with... | ||
It would have to be my very best friends that I tour with all the time. | ||
Have I flown with you 26 times? | ||
Maybe four or five. | ||
Not privately ever. | ||
Maybe if we flew together. | ||
It might be a little more than four or five. | ||
It might be ten. | ||
It might be ten. | ||
I've known you for years. | ||
It's not been 26 times. | ||
So Bill Clinton is flying with this one guy. | ||
Why he's the President of the United States, I think. | ||
Was he still President then? | ||
It was afterwards. | ||
Afterwards, I'm done. | ||
I flew with Jerry probably 20 times. | ||
Hey man, I'm making money. | ||
I like flying with Jeffrey. | ||
I don't have to pay. | ||
I mean, that's a lot of times. | ||
To be partying with a dude, you would think that you would find out about how that guy fucks. | ||
When he had a plane on the plane was sort of when he fucked up, because that's when he stopped flying under the radar. | ||
Who did? | ||
Jeffrey Epstein? | ||
Yeah, when that day happened, I was like, uh-oh. | ||
And he's been hiding ever since then, because that was like 2003 or 2004. Oh, really? | ||
That's when he got busted, was shortly after that. | ||
He's been on the run since then. | ||
Wasn't Trump talking about it with Howard? | ||
Howard Stern. | ||
What was he talking about? | ||
Oh, about how he likes the ladies. | ||
Like, why were they talking about him? | ||
I don't know. | ||
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Because he was arrested or something? | |
No, no, no. | ||
He was just in the news? | ||
The arrest was later, and that was part of the problem was that with the arrest, the arrest was for some sexual thing with underage girls, and he got a really light sentence. | ||
And then more people were freaking out about it. | ||
And then one woman pursued this pretty heavily. | ||
She was a journalist, and she pursued this story, right? | ||
That's where I was trying to tell you. | ||
I tried to find out the Miami Herald, but that book I was telling you, I just read about James Patterson. | ||
He said everything that kind of came out in that story, they already wrote about about 2016. And for some reason, the media didn't really pick up on it. | ||
He said he wrote letters to everyone. | ||
Well, yeah, that was when this guy got that really light sentence was around there. | ||
But this one woman kept writing about it. | ||
Pull up the name of this woman. | ||
Because this one woman really doggedly pursued this story. | ||
And it was because of her. | ||
And I think a lot of it had to do with her recognition that this guy had gotten this creepy light sound. | ||
Julie Brown. | ||
Not to be confused with downtown Julie Brown. | ||
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Remember her? | |
Yeah, I do. | ||
Julie K. Brown. | ||
She was great. | ||
Like Michael B. Jordan. | ||
The actor? | ||
Not the world's greatest. | ||
No one wants their name even close to this story. | ||
How about James Brown, the fucking sportscaster? | ||
Imagine that? | ||
What? | ||
That guy, nice guy. | ||
James Brown, the sportscaster? | ||
Yeah. | ||
How the fuck do you call yourself James Brown? | ||
How dare you? | ||
Like, he owns that, right? | ||
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Ow! | |
Like Michael Jackson. | ||
If you're Michael Jackson and you're a singer, what? | ||
You're who? | ||
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Yeah. | |
Right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Don't you have anyone in your camp telling you this is a bad idea? | ||
Isn't there two of those cuts like a knife guys? | ||
What's that guy's name? | ||
The guy from Canada? | ||
Um... | ||
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Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. | |
Brian... | ||
Brian Adams. | ||
Brian Adams. | ||
There's a new guy. | ||
There's Brian and there's Ryan. | ||
Oh, there's Ryan. | ||
Again, change your fucking name. | ||
Ryan got in trouble too. | ||
How about Ricky Adams? | ||
He'd be Ricky Adams. | ||
Ricky Adams? | ||
Whatever happened to Brian Adams, man? | ||
That Cuts Like a Knife guy? | ||
Cuts Like a Knife! | ||
That guy was awesome. | ||
Summer of 69? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He had some great jams. | ||
I think he's still playing casinos. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really? | ||
I've seen him. | ||
What's the show tonight? | ||
Where? | ||
Bristow, Virginia. | ||
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There you go. | |
We should all go to see him. | ||
We should make a road trip. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm sure it's a good show. | ||
We really have to start doing stuff like that. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Make road trips just to go to see ridiculous shows. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Def Leppard's out there. | ||
Journey's out there. | ||
Journey with the Japanese singer. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That guy's badass. | ||
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Fuck yeah he is! | |
He sounds as good as Steve Perry ever did in his prime. | ||
I know. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Steve Perry's still out there. | ||
I don't think he's performing, but he's still around. | ||
What are you playing? | ||
Bryan Adams' giant crowd. | ||
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Wow. | |
Look at that. | ||
That's Bryan Adams? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That guy was a star. | ||
Post-menopausal chicks. | ||
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It's the summer of 69. What does he look like these days? | |
He's stretching here. | ||
Let me see. | ||
He's working out. | ||
Look at that. | ||
He's ripped. | ||
He's fit. | ||
Stretch that back, he says. | ||
Brian Adams is fit. | ||
That's not him. | ||
Is it? | ||
Yeah, it's him. | ||
It's a weird black and white photo. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's got some Snapchat filter on him, too. | ||
He's obviously spiritually sound. | ||
He looks healthy. | ||
Working out. | ||
Well, listen, man. | ||
That guy was a... | ||
He was a rock star when I was in high school. | ||
That's right. | ||
And if he looks that good today, that's incredible. | ||
He's taking care of himself. | ||
Must be. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's doing something right. | ||
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Yeah. | |
He's not running around after teenage girls. | ||
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Hang on. | |
He's living a good life. | ||
Floozies. | ||
Flying over Bill Clinton. | ||
Obviously. | ||
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Hey. | |
Hey. | ||
Hey, Epstein, what are we doing today? | ||
Yeah, it's, yeah. | ||
For conspiracy theorists right now, like for Sam Tripoli, you know Sam Tripoli runs Tinfoil Hat Podcast? | ||
He's in his glory. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
He couldn't be happier. | ||
But he's taking it to another level. | ||
He thinks he's not really dead, that they faked his death. | ||
Ah, of course. | ||
Dun, dun, dun. | ||
Geez Louise. | ||
For conspiracy theorists, when a conspiracy theory is obvious, they look for the non-obvious possibility. | ||
They do the exact opposite of what Michael Shermer was talking about with conspiracy theorists. | ||
Never attribute to malice. | ||
Everything. | ||
Everything is malice. | ||
If it looks obvious, there's something more going on. | ||
It's so creepy. | ||
God. | ||
Well, who cares how, what? | ||
It's good he's gone. | ||
Maybe not, man. | ||
It's good he's gone. | ||
Maybe not. | ||
Maybe if he stayed alive, he could have told us some stuff about some terrible people that are still alive doing things. | ||
Yeah, he's the worst one. | ||
I don't know about that. | ||
He's a creepo. | ||
How do we know that? | ||
We know he's a creep, most likely, but we definitely don't know if he's the worst out of all those people that he was creeping with. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The thing is, if the guy really did film a bunch of people that are super powerful people doing crazy shit... | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's gotta be some stuff, right? | ||
If I was leading the investigation, I'd go after the hard drives. | ||
That's where they keep it all, on the hard drives. | ||
They did find hard drives filled with stuff that he had. | ||
They did? | ||
Yeah, that he had, with very young girls in subjective poses. | ||
I don't know if it was pornography, but they were talking about how many different photos of young ladies that they found on his computer. | ||
Alright, enough with this guy. | ||
But I don't know if they were young like illegal or young like 18. You know, there's something weird about when you watch some porn where they're pretending to be schoolgirls. | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
You know? | ||
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Yes. | |
Like, you know the girl's 30, but she's pretending to be 18. But they always put them in an outfit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's something weird about those porns. | ||
Like, what is happening here? | ||
No, exactly. | ||
One guy's a milkman. | ||
The other guy, you know... | ||
He just comes over. | ||
Must you bring up my fetish, milkman porn? | ||
He knocks on the door. | ||
Girl answers. | ||
She's got pigtails. | ||
No. | ||
My dad's not home right now. | ||
I guess you can come inside. | ||
No. | ||
Next thing you know. | ||
How about watching a baseball game? | ||
You know what another thing is weird about porn? | ||
There's a lot of step-mother porn. | ||
Stepmother? | ||
Stepmother and stepsister. | ||
Dude with his stepmother? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or dude with his stepsister? | ||
Exactly. | ||
Like, dad marries some new floozy, dad's off at work, and the son's like 19, he wakes up and he's got a boner, and next thing you know, his stepmom's sucking his dick. | ||
now those are fun but it's very popular well there's a you know that's human uh sexuality there's you know everybody has something they're into so i guess they make a movie for all of it yes but also they're always looking for a new forbidden thing so it's regular porn is not forbidden enough uh-huh it's not just two people that are hot that are getting it on right no no no no it's got to be something that shouldn't be doing oh Oh my God, we shouldn't be doing this. | ||
Right. | ||
That's a thrill for a lot of people. | ||
Right. | ||
They feel sexually suppressed. | ||
So when they watch porn, like, oh my God, it's a stepmom. | ||
Is she going to do it? | ||
She's going to take a picture of her. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
Right. | ||
So it's like forbidden. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Like you with the Westworld thing. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
I mean, that's the thing with people, right? | ||
Especially when people get told what to do too much when they're young, and they develop this desire to do forbidden things. | ||
Right. | ||
To be rebellious. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's also like the pushing the envelope thing too, right? | ||
You get bored. | ||
People like outrageous things and those outrageous things are not outrageous enough anymore, then they get more outrageous somehow or another. | ||
Right. | ||
That's right. | ||
That's why you shouldn't go down the path. | ||
Right? | ||
That's why you're healthier, working out like crazy, or being obsessed with cars, or being obsessed with sports. | ||
You want to get more and more extreme with it when you're dealing with tires. | ||
You're not dealing with human beings that are being trafficked through Florida with the idea that they might have some fame. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Why's it gotta be Florida? | ||
That's where it all happens, right? | ||
Really? | ||
All bad things. | ||
Where was that Epstein guy? | ||
Florida. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Mar-a-Lago. | ||
Florida. | ||
You ever see Rashida Jones' documentary on porn? | ||
No. | ||
It's pretty devastating. | ||
Who's Rashida Jones again? | ||
She was Quincy Jones' daughter. | ||
She was on the... | ||
She's very funny, talented. | ||
She was in... | ||
Parks and Rec. | ||
And The Office. | ||
And she made a documentary on just like all these young girls that, especially now with social media and wanting to be liked and having all these promises of fame and that what you think is amateur porn and is harmless, there's really a very high percentage of these people are being exploited. | ||
And yeah, it'll make you look at porn very differently. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
I recommend it. | ||
Is there any kind of acceptable porn? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, what if it's like 35-year-old ladies that are just freaks? | ||
Or not freaks. | ||
They just want to fuck on camera. | ||
They get a thrill out of people watching them fuck. | ||
Is that possible? | ||
I don't know if it's possible. | ||
That's the question, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
The question is, you always worry if... | ||
But do you... | ||
What happened to them? | ||
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Right. | |
Put them in that mind space. | ||
Because we don't have a fear about men. | ||
Look, are you worried about men who are 35 years old who are having sex with women on camera? | ||
Do those trouble you? | ||
No, I don't think about them at all. | ||
Not concerned about them, right? | ||
So we're concerned about the women. | ||
Is that... | ||
Wait for it. | ||
Because we're sexist? | ||
Are we putting standards on the females that we don't put on the males because we don't think the women can handle it? | ||
Or we don't think they can make that choice? | ||
We don't think that they should be allowed to make that choice? | ||
Or if they do make that choice, we think there has to be something wrong with them and they need to be protected? | ||
Whereas we don't have those feelings about a man? | ||
Right. | ||
I just know that so, I think that when you're thinking about what leads you to that place, there's a high probability that some man did something awful to that place. | ||
Girl when she was young. | ||
That's such a high percentage of people that have had... | ||
All women have had to deal with some creepo at some point in their life. | ||
For sure. | ||
And so I think it's built on that. | ||
It's like, well, you know, I'd rather help her in some other way than watch these porn. | ||
So is that something we inherently know? | ||
And how do we know that? | ||
Yeah, because men are big and aggressive and can do... | ||
No, no, no. | ||
That's not what I'm saying. | ||
When you see someone that's in porn, do we inherently know that they've been molested? | ||
Do we just know? | ||
We don't know. | ||
We don't. | ||
But have we investigated it? | ||
There is a high percentage of women that do porn. | ||
This is a fact. | ||
That have been sexually molested. | ||
What I'm saying is your distaste for it, is it based on the knowledge of that, or is this an inherent perception that a woman who would do that must be damaged, so something must have had happened to her when she was younger that was awful, otherwise she wouldn't be doing this? | ||
Well, it's like going to a strip club and probably 80% of the guys are just seeing somebody dancing and 20% of the guys are thinking, wait, you shouldn't be doing this. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I don't think- 20% at strip clubs? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Maybe higher. | ||
I just feel like... | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I think we're able to... | ||
I'm sorry to cut you off, but I think human beings are able to not see everything that they want to see because they're enjoying what's before them. | ||
I think you're right for sure. | ||
We definitely make rationalizations. | ||
Right. | ||
But I'm wondering, like, why, if it's a man, we don't have any... | ||
I guess it's because we don't think of a man of being... | ||
You know, if a guy is an object of sexual desire for women, we don't think of him as a victim, ever. | ||
I know, which is unfortunate because there are a lot of things happen to young boys, you know? | ||
Well, did you hear about this guy that's suing Katy Perry? | ||
You about the song? | ||
No, no. | ||
She says, maybe he's not suing her, but he's accusing her of sexual assault, what he's calling sexual assault. | ||
She pulled down his sweatpants and exposed his dick to some people. | ||
Oh, right. | ||
Right. | ||
And then that knee-jerk reaction is, well, you're a dude, you would love Katy Perry pulling your pants off. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Right? | ||
But maybe he was really hurt by it. | ||
Who knows? | ||
Maybe he needs to grow a pair. | ||
How about that? | ||
I love Katy Perry. | ||
Yeah, what the fuck's the problem? | ||
She pulls your pants down? | ||
I don't get it. | ||
Everybody gets to see your dick. | ||
Even when I was a young boy, there wasn't like... | ||
Sounds to me like Katy Perry's trying to fuck. | ||
You leave Katy Perry... | ||
Is that what you think she was doing? | ||
No, sounds like she pantsed him. | ||
For fun. | ||
Yeah, that's what it sounds like. | ||
Lucy's sweatpants. | ||
Now, if that was a guy doing it to a girl, I would say that is sexual assault. | ||
Right. | ||
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Yes. | |
But think of it very differently. | ||
I would too. | ||
If a guy was there and a girl bent over in front of a bunch of guys to pick up her keys and someone pantsed her and her vagina was exposed to all these strangers, I would say, that guy's a piece of shit. | ||
Like, imagine if that was your daughter or your wife, right? | ||
Some guy pulls your wife's fucking sweatpants down in front of a crew of people. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Because I think we see men as a threat. | ||
As a physical threat. | ||
Right. | ||
But if Katy Perry does it to a guy, I'm like, ha ha ha. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If I was a judge, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
Without explaining it or coming up for reasons why, that is the knee-jerk reaction. | ||
A woman got arrested in New Jersey. | ||
She blew a 14-year-old boy. | ||
They gave her a 10-year, like a suspended sentence. | ||
She's on 10-year probation, no jail time, and she keeps her teaching certificate. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
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Yes. | |
She was allowed to keep her certificate? | ||
Stop blowing kids, you crazy bitch. | ||
She probably blew the cop, blew the judge. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
That's my thought on that, always, is if a woman's willing to blow a 14-year-old, she'll blow you, too. | ||
That girl's fucking crazy. | ||
She just loves sucking dick. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
You could talk her into it. | ||
It's all too much. | ||
As long as she's got standards. | ||
I mean, I think every cop that arrests a lady who blows 14-year-olds, Every cop thinks she'll suck his dick, too. | ||
Right? | ||
Don't you think? | ||
They're crazy. | ||
It's a crazy woman. | ||
Yeah. | ||
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Well... | |
You don't think so? | ||
Do I think she's crazy? | ||
Yes. | ||
For sure. | ||
But it's not a scary crazy. | ||
It doesn't scare me. | ||
No, there's something, you know, look, there's a lot of different ways to be damaged, right? | ||
And that's her damage. | ||
But what I'm saying is, like, that's not her. | ||
What is she doing? | ||
She's a grown adult. | ||
See how even you're looking at that. | ||
There's a lot of different ways to be damaged. | ||
But if that was a grown man having sex with a 14-year-old girl, you wouldn't worry about what fucking damage he has. | ||
You'd be worrying about what damage he's doing. | ||
See, even in that situation, you're worried about her being damaged. | ||
I'm not worried about her being damaged. | ||
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But you know what I'm saying? | |
But that's what you said. | ||
Right. | ||
Right. | ||
What you were thinking about was her being damaged. | ||
Right. | ||
Not her victimizing the boy. | ||
Right. | ||
Because we don't think of it that way. | ||
No, I know. | ||
I know. | ||
Like, right. | ||
I mean, these stories started coming out when we were younger. | ||
They've always existed. | ||
I know. | ||
And it was always like, you know, with your buddies, it was like, oh, I wish my Spanish teacher did that. | ||
You know? | ||
There's been freaks throughout history. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Crazy women that blow boys from as long as time memorial. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Is that the word? | ||
Time memorial? | ||
You don't say it that way. | ||
Time in memoriam. | ||
Memoriam. | ||
Yeah, sexuality is such a weird, bizarre thing. | ||
That's why they have to make all these laws about it, you know, to keep some, again, back to the guidebook, right? | ||
I was reading about a country, I think, fuck, there was, I want to say, is it Kashmir? | ||
Google this. | ||
That 20% of all marriages start with kidnapping, right? | ||
Yes. | ||
20% of marriages in that country. | ||
There's a country where 20% of all marriages start today. | ||
With a kidnapping. | ||
Today! | ||
Not in the 1200s. | ||
Not during the Genghis Khan administration. | ||
Is it like prom? | ||
No, they just kidnap women and then they're forced to marry their kidnappers so they don't get shamed. | ||
Oh man. | ||
Google 20% Of all marriages begin with kidnapping. | ||
Just Google that. | ||
Google that. | ||
That sentence. | ||
Not the weirdest thing that's ever been Googled. | ||
That's a fucking crazy statistic, if I remember it correctly. | ||
That is crazy. | ||
I think I wrote it down somewhere. | ||
I'll pull out my laptop. | ||
Did you find it? | ||
Headline, one in five girls and women kidnapped for marriage in Kyrgyzstan. | ||
Kyrgyzstan, there it is. | ||
One in five. | ||
Where is Kashmir? | ||
Kashmir is Pakistan. | ||
Besides the Led Zeppelin song. | ||
unidentified
|
Dun, dun, dun. | |
Dun, dun, dun. | ||
So it's only Kyrgyzstan? | ||
According to a study published, yeah. | ||
That spot. | ||
But see... | ||
Brideknapping also occurs in places like Armenia, Ethiopia, Kazakhstan, South Africa, and particularly common rural parts of Central Asian country. | ||
Kidnapping. | ||
Just grabbing people. | ||
Grabbing people and making them marry you. | ||
Jeez Louise. | ||
They're still doing that. | ||
In 2019. But just stop and think about one out of five. | ||
And that's with them trying to keep it on the down low. | ||
So what was it 100 years ago? | ||
100%. | ||
Right? | ||
100%. | ||
Nobody ever got married. | ||
Everybody just raped... | ||
There's a thing called groom kidnapping that also happens where the eligible bachelors are abducted by a bride's family and forced to marry. | ||
Oh, Christ. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
These people are living like movie characters. | ||
So weird. | ||
This is happening today. | ||
Yeah. | ||
We are so fortunate. | ||
God. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Here, well, not just us, but people in the Western world. | ||
What? | ||
What do you say? | ||
In 2009, in this place, in Bihar, B-I-H-A-R, 1,224 kidnappings for marriage were reported. | ||
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Oh, my God. | |
In one year. | ||
In one year. | ||
1,200 kidnappings for marriage. | ||
How many people live there? | ||
1,259. | ||
Good Lord. | ||
Everyone's just getting kidnapped. | ||
That's horrible. | ||
Dude, imagine that. | ||
That is fucking horrible. | ||
Men are damaged. | ||
Well, in that part of the world, they have a long tradition of doing creepy shit with women. | ||
That is one of the weird things about history. | ||
The further you go back in history, the worse women are treated. | ||
Right. | ||
You know? | ||
Universally. | ||
Say that again? | ||
The further you go back in history, the worse women are treated. | ||
They're treated worse. | ||
The further you go back in history. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
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|
Of course. | |
I mean, what's the original image that we always got of caveman and cavewoman? | ||
Right. | ||
Dragging her over the head, dragging her by her hair. | ||
Dragging her by her hair. | ||
Right, exactly. | ||
Why do we know that archetype? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Why do we know that archetype? | ||
That's a weird one. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hitting her in the head and dragging her by her hair. | ||
Where are we getting that from? | ||
Right, just taking, because it's how it went down, I guess. | ||
Right, but why do you and I know that same image? | ||
You watch the same cartoons. | ||
Is that what it was? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Mine's a cartoon image of it. | ||
Right. | ||
But why did that cartoon image, why did that become so prevalent? | ||
That we both, like, where'd you grow up? | ||
New Jersey. | ||
I lived there too. | ||
So maybe we both got it from the same part of the world. | ||
Yeah, maybe we both watched Zoom. | ||
And then it was Boston when I was older and San Francisco. | ||
But that was a thing you thought of when you thought of cavemen. | ||
You thought of the man clubbing the lady over the head and dragging her by her hair. | ||
It was crazy. | ||
Men have a long way to go. | ||
Sure. | ||
A long way to go. | ||
The hangups that men have over women that turn into violence is still, at this late date in our human development, is still batshit crazy. | ||
There is such a violent... | ||
They don't understand how to even be around women. | ||
They don't understand when they're rejected by women. | ||
And it all culminates still in such a violent... | ||
Nature. | ||
It's bizarre. | ||
Wasn't that what happened to the guy who owned the stand? | ||
I don't know what happened. | ||
I know... | ||
What I understand from what's been explained to me, that the ex-husband of his au pair came to kill her. | ||
And he was there and wound up killing him, too. | ||
So he was just coming... | ||
Find out if that's true. | ||
I don't know what the whole story was, but apparently, I didn't know him well, but apparently it was super well liked. | ||
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|
Awful. | |
I know, he was a nice guy. | ||
I met him a couple times. | ||
Terrible. | ||
Maplewood, New Jersey. | ||
It's, you know, a man. | ||
But man, again, men going crazy. | ||
If that is the case, if that's the story, a man trying to kill his ex-wife or killing his ex-wife. | ||
It's just like, man, talk about lack of guidebook. | ||
Nobody teaches young men, frustrated men. | ||
That's the story? | ||
So, I was correct. | ||
I was accurate. | ||
It says... | ||
Dad of two. | ||
Killed the crimes with stand owner David Kimowitz, 40-year-old, married dad of two, and the family's Colombian, all pair, Karen Bermudez Rodriguez, 26. | ||
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|
Yeah. | |
Wow. | ||
So there's nothing going on between the nanny and him. | ||
Fuck. | ||
Man, man. | ||
Stabbed an au pair and her boss. | ||
Horrible. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hey, man. | ||
Nobody teaches these men how to be a man. | ||
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|
Right. | |
How to curb those appetites and deal with it and put your violence towards something else. | ||
It's still a big hole. | ||
Also, they were saying Colombian. | ||
She was Colombian. | ||
I don't know if she's from Colombian, if he was from Colombia, too. | ||
I mean, look... | ||
Every culture all around the world. | ||
But extreme violence in a lot of parts of South America and certain places, you know? | ||
Yeah. | ||
A lot here. | ||
I mean, it's everywhere. | ||
Anywhere there's dudes, they get frustrated and they snap. | ||
Yeah, but more so. | ||
More so in a lot of places in South America. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
You know, in some areas that are like, you know, I had this guy on who's an expert in Mexico. | ||
He worked in the, Ed Calderon, he worked dealing with cartels and for the Mexican government. | ||
And, you know, the stories that this guy would tell you about the violence that's happening in Mexico is fucking terrible. | ||
Terrifying. | ||
Really? | ||
And how many kids grow up sort of enamored with this cartel life and get drawn into it and sucked into it and these people wind up taking people to kill people and showing them how to cut people up and getting them accustomed to doing it. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And they seem so normal when you meet them and then you realize that they're literally training kids to murder people and chop them up. | ||
And you're like, what? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's dark out there. | ||
So if you fuck that guy's au pair, or rather if you live with that guy's... | ||
Or if she just decided to leave him. | ||
Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody's saying that he was having an affair. | ||
But if the guy thought he was, because the guy was, you know... | ||
If you're a man and you're... | ||
Ex-wife is living in a house, and there's a man in the house. | ||
You assume... | ||
Like, if you're a piece of shit, you assume that they're having an affair, even if they aren't. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
And you would just... | ||
If you were trying to kill her, you'd probably try to kill him, too. | ||
Or maybe he was trying to kill her, and the other guy just happened to be there. | ||
And he killed him, too. | ||
Either way, that guy went to the house with the idea, I'm going to kill. | ||
My point was, like, if you have a dangerous person like that, and that dangerous person is trying to... | ||
Go and get his ex-wife and kill her and you have to get caught in the cross fairs. | ||
With a knife, right? | ||
Yeah, it's terrible. | ||
Awful. | ||
Horrible. | ||
So terrible. | ||
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|
Horrible. | |
Be careful out there, kids. | ||
Be kind to each other. | ||
I know. | ||
Be nice. | ||
That's the other thing about the way the world really works. | ||
You have to recognize there are really people like that out there. | ||
A ton. | ||
That's a real thing. | ||
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|
Yes. | |
Yeah. | ||
You have to be aware. | ||
You can't be naive that this stuff doesn't exist. | ||
You can't pretend that it's not around. | ||
No. | ||
Yeah, but how do you defend against something like that, right? | ||
If you don't know how to fight? | ||
And even if you do, someone comes out with a knife. | ||
Yeah, your back is turned. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Who knows? | ||
Right. | ||
A lot of it's left to chance. | ||
Fucking such a horrible way to leave this world. | ||
Someone's stabbing you. | ||
Draining out. | ||
Terrible. | ||
Someone's trying to get back at his ex-wife. | ||
Stabbing you. | ||
Yeah, you're sitting there in your nice little house. | ||
You're running a comedy club. | ||
Just having a nice time. | ||
People laughing. | ||
You're managing some other comedians. | ||
You're making your way. | ||
You've got your wife and your kids. | ||
You're providing for them. | ||
You have no idea that morning when you wake up and making coffee what's headed your way. | ||
Horrible. | ||
Have you had someone close to you get murdered before? | ||
No. | ||
Not close to me. | ||
Closest to me was Phil Hartman. | ||
unidentified
|
His wife shot him and then shot herself. | |
Right. | ||
It's terrible. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you think there's ever going to be a time when there's no violence? | ||
No violence? | ||
We evolve past this to some new thing. | ||
I don't know if we evolve because there's so many people. | ||
Do you think we're going to evolve? | ||
Not to that. | ||
It would take eons. | ||
We're still like... | ||
Do you think there's too many of us? | ||
Yeah, there's so many parts of the globe are still, you know, way behind. | ||
I think it would have to be like put in the water or something. | ||
Like we'd have to medicate it out of us. | ||
That's a real interesting perspective, right? | ||
Because amongst us... | ||
Amongst the people that we know, what are the odds that we could get through this life with no violence? | ||
Say if we all, all the people that we knew, we all lived together. | ||
I would bet a lot of money nobody would murder anybody. | ||
So what happens when you get from that to large groups of people, and then you get to large groups of people like, you're talking about Kyrgyzstan, where one out of five women gets fucking kidnapped. | ||
That's how marriages get started. | ||
They're wild and out there. | ||
They're living crazy. | ||
Or, what is that one city that... | ||
There's one city in Pakistan. | ||
Is it Karachi? | ||
What is that city? | ||
Why can't I remember the name? | ||
Is that it? | ||
That was one of the cities that... | ||
Shane Smith from Vice was saying it was one of the most terrifying places on earth. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
The sheer cheapness of murder, how cheap it is to get someone murdered over there. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
And how much murder and crime goes on over there. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
Just a totally different metric for how you view the world. | ||
Totally different perception of what life is worth and what life is like and what kind of violence you have to deal with on a daily basis. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
I know. | ||
There's a lot of very dark places. | ||
That's why I don't like to travel. | ||
You don't like travel at all? | ||
I do like to travel, but I'm starting to cross off a bunch of places. | ||
That's your sketch? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Between getting parasites that make you have to poop in a bag and send to your doctor, or ending up in real violent places that don't have the same kind of... | ||
Rules that we do. | ||
My friend Justin Wren, who runs Fight for the Forgotten Charity. | ||
I was just wearing his shirt at the beach yesterday. | ||
Oh, were you? | ||
That's awesome. | ||
The best guy ever. | ||
He has a new intestinal parasite that's draining him. | ||
He doesn't know what the fuck it is. | ||
Yeah, he's got something that he caught when he was over there. | ||
Oh, no. | ||
That's what I'm afraid of. | ||
He's really sick. | ||
Is he really? | ||
Yeah, he's really sick. | ||
Is he going to be okay? | ||
I don't know. | ||
They're going to have to, hopefully... | ||
Identify it. | ||
Yeah, they have to figure out what it is. | ||
Figure out how he got it. | ||
Figure out what's going on. | ||
That's no joke. | ||
What happened in the Dominican Republic? | ||
Didn't they... | ||
People died because they were drinking from the minibar? | ||
Did you hear that story? | ||
Yes. | ||
Yes. | ||
There's a lot of sketch... | ||
Yeah. | ||
They were saying that people were putting stuff in the minibar that wasn't actually alcohol... | ||
Yeah. | ||
The story that I had heard was that they would put cheap substitutes for whatever the alcohol was supposed to be so that people would pay for it and then they would steal the actual liquor and replace it with something else and then people would drink it and it was like poisonous. | ||
And they were dying. | ||
People really died. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, that's terrible. | ||
I hope he's okay. | ||
I don't know what the actual story was. | ||
But somebody else described it saying, like, one thing is you concentrate on statistics. | ||
And I don't know if this is true. | ||
We should find out. | ||
But if you concentrate on statistics, then it seems like a lot of people die in the Dominican Republic when they were over there. | ||
But the reality is that it's just the way we're looking at it because we've chosen to start focusing on people who die over there. | ||
But in fact, it's like commensurate with people that die over here when they're on vacation. | ||
Right. | ||
But... | ||
Only a certain number go to that resort, you know what I mean, in a year. | ||
It was more than one resort, I believe. | ||
It was? | ||
Yeah, I think so. | ||
Well, a lot of people go to the Dominican, not now, but a lot of people were going. | ||
I was there last year. | ||
Were you? | ||
Yeah. | ||
So would you go back after all this? | ||
No. | ||
First of all, I saw a story about a couple that went there and got hookworm in their feet. | ||
Oh, you could definitely get that. | ||
That, I was already like, maybe I'm not going back. | ||
And now that you can't even drink from the mini bar, I'm like, you know what? | ||
There's nice places in Laguna Beach. | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Laguna. | ||
Did you know that Hookworm is responsible for the stereotype of the southern dummy? | ||
No. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What do you mean? | ||
People walking around the South barefoot were getting hookworm en masse, and hookworm has a detrimental effect on your ability to think. | ||
Oh. | ||
Yeah, it literally compromises your mental ability. | ||
It makes you dumber. | ||
So like the trope of like a hillbilly walking around? | ||
Exactly. | ||
Really? | ||
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Yep, yep. | |
Oh, weird! | ||
Yep, yep. | ||
Hookworm. | ||
Did we find out about that from Peter Hotez? | ||
Is that who told us that? | ||
That is weird. | ||
How a worm gave the South a bad name. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hookworms once sapped the American South of its health, and few realize that they continue to afflict millions. | ||
Jeez. | ||
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|
Yeah. | |
Ugh. | ||
He looks so creepy. | ||
It fucks with the way you think. | ||
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|
Ugh. | |
Makes you tired. | ||
Gives you fatigue. | ||
Yeah, it is podcast is very dark Listeners weeks later victims succumb to an insatiable exhaustion and Impenetrable haziness of the mind that some called stupidity Adults neglected their fields and children grew pale and listless Victims develop grossly distended bellies and angel wings emaciated shoulder blades accentuated by hunching all gazed out dully from sunken sockets with a telltale fish-eye stare and | ||
That is the stereotype of people from the South. | ||
And we just always thought they're just living in hot weather and they're just stupid. | ||
But what it really was was fucking hookworm. | ||
Ew! | ||
Isn't that amazing? | ||
This podcast started off, we were having fun, we were talking about judo. | ||
The culprit behind the germ of laziness, as the South's affliction was sometimes called, was Necator Americanis, the American Murderer, better known as the hookworm. | ||
It's called the American Murderer. | ||
Are they still out there? | ||
Millions of those blood-sucking parasites lived, yeah, for sure, and died within the guts of up to 40% of the population. | ||
Stretching from southeastern Texas to West Virginia. | ||
Can you imagine 40% of the population of the South in these places from Texas to West Virginia was infected? | ||
40% of the population with a fucking worm that makes you dumb. | ||
I'm never going anywhere ever again. | ||
Isn't that incredible? | ||
That's insane. | ||
But that's what the stereotype came from. | ||
Wow. | ||
How wild. | ||
Fucking crazy. | ||
That's insane. | ||
Now, how many people are getting, right now, getting Lyme disease? | ||
And Lyme disease, although it doesn't make you lazy, it wrecks your health. | ||
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Wrecks your health. | |
Devastates your health. | ||
For years. | ||
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
For years. | ||
That shit is happening right now on the East Coast. | ||
It's all over the East Coast. | ||
My kids were back there working on a farm over the summer, and my daughter had a tick on her. | ||
We freaked out. | ||
Mmm, should freak out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You got to get it off before 24 hours. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But also, if you do get infected, you have to get on antibiotics really quickly. | ||
Super fast. | ||
There's a woman who wrote a book about Lyme disease possibly being a military biological weapon that accidentally was released. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Apparently this is a popular thought, that there's something about Lyme disease that Lyme disease doesn't necessarily make sense. | ||
How quickly it came from this one area, like this Lyme, Connecticut area, and how rapidly it spread, and how devastating its impact was, and There is, apparently, there has been some research that's been, well, not some, quite a bit of research that's done on various biological weapons and various distribution methods. | ||
And one of the thoughts of a lot of these distribution methods is infecting bugs. | ||
Infecting bugs with some designer disease. | ||
And then infecting the population. | ||
Like if you release the bugs on this area that you wanted to attack. | ||
Like at a certain point in time. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
And you infected giant chunks of the population. | ||
Right. | ||
Then you would be able to go back there ten years later and everybody would be fucked. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah, but this is something that biological diseases, whether it's anthrax, like things along those lines. | ||
Yeah, terrifying. | ||
But they've made those. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Forever. | ||
You know, they've had that and people have been aware of that forever. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But the idea of it being something that's in a bug and that can infect you. | ||
Jeez Louise, that's terrifying. | ||
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It's terrifying. | |
Yeah. | ||
Are you trying to make it that I don't go out of my house? | ||
Trying to freak you out, bro. | ||
No, it's weird. | ||
I don't remember being around when we were kids on the East Coast. | ||
It was not around. | ||
And I think it took a while for anybody to figure out what the fuck it was. | ||
How about the new mosquitoes that we have? | ||
Yes. | ||
We never had these mosquitoes before. | ||
There's a recent case of a horrible disease breaking out in the East Coast. | ||
I think somewhere in Massachusetts, there is some horrible mosquito-borne disease. | ||
What does that thing say about the ticks, about Lyme disease? | ||
What is the book? | ||
It's called Bitten. | ||
Yes, that's it. | ||
By Chris Newby, K, with K-R-I-S, Chris. | ||
Is that a man or a woman? | ||
It's a woman, I believe. | ||
Yeah, she discovered circumstantial evidence linking the outbreak of Lyme disease in the 1960s to the U.S. military. | ||
Some people say this is bullshit, but some people say it's just conspiracy theory. | ||
Who's some people? | ||
Put up the article so we can see it. | ||
It's the middle of it. | ||
Okay, spread it out so I can see it. | ||
Scroll down. | ||
Go back up. | ||
Stop. | ||
The DOD takes extreme care of all of its research programs to ensure the protection of our personnel and the community. | ||
What is that? | ||
When Smith announced his amendment... | ||
Okay, this is too much there. | ||
It says, there's just too much evidence for a reasonable man or woman to just turn the page and say, put on your tinfoil hat, this is just a conspiracy theory, Smith said. | ||
And yet people with credentials will say that, which begs the question, why would they even say that? | ||
Chris Newby wrote the book, Bitten, said she discovered circumstantial evidence linking the outbreak of Lyme disease in the 1960s. | ||
That's what you said from the U.S. military. | ||
As proof, Newby cites an interview that she had with Will Berg-Dolfer, the American scientist who discovered what causes Lyme disease, who told her shortly before his death that he had been instructed to keep his research Oh, | ||
my hypothesis is that was the biological weapon they were trying to cover up, said Newby, a science writer at the Stanford School of Medicine in California. | ||
I don't believe it. | ||
Seems like a lot of malarkey. | ||
She said, I can't connect the dots right now. | ||
Says Newby, who survived Lyme disease. | ||
My theory is that it was a genetically engineered Rickettsia bacteria. | ||
But as a journalist, I can't prove that. | ||
So what is she saying then? | ||
She's just pulling stuff out. | ||
She wrote a book. | ||
She wrote a book. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I ain't buying it. | ||
But that's not to say, that does worry me more than anything. | ||
I think she's a hoser. | ||
I don't know her personally, but... | ||
If you had a guess. | ||
Probably. | ||
But I think that... | ||
Can I bet your bread? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I would never give her my bread. | ||
That scares me more than anything, though. | ||
It should scare you. | ||
A plague of some sort. | ||
I always feel like we should be keeping some medicine in the house. | ||
Plague medicine? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like what kind? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Tetracycline? | ||
Is that good for plague? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I figure you gotta take something. | ||
What the hell could be good for plague? | ||
Depends what the plague is. | ||
Really? | ||
If it's a flu, there's certain things you can take. | ||
If it's... | ||
Crazy war bugs? | ||
Probably nothing. | ||
But there's so many people, and it's so gross, and you can see how people are just coughing in the airports without covering their mouths. | ||
That's going to happen. | ||
There's a story I was reading this morning, Jamie, about mosquito-borne illness in Massachusetts. | ||
Some new, some like Legionnaire's disease type deal. | ||
Oh, jeez. | ||
We have these nasty mosquitoes here in Los Angeles. | ||
We're not supposed to have them. | ||
Where are you getting these mosquitoes? | ||
Around your neighborhood? | ||
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|
Yeah, in my house. | |
You might have a neighborhood with a full pool. | ||
I know. | ||
Sometimes neighbors don't take care of their pool. | ||
I know. | ||
That's bad. | ||
It is bad. | ||
They were saying, I read an article about it, they said even like a crumpled up chip bag... | ||
Filled with water? | ||
Yeah, it gets water from a sprinkler. | ||
That's enough. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
And there are these black and white little guys and they just... | ||
And they go from your knee down. | ||
Dirty little bitches. | ||
They're nasty. | ||
We never had screens before in my house. | ||
When I first moved to LA, I rented a house that someone had a pool in the backyard that they didn't take care of. | ||
Really? | ||
Like, really bad. | ||
And when I got there, the pool was green, the water was green, and there was things swimming in it. | ||
And I was like, what the fuck is that? | ||
It was mosquito larvae. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
See? | ||
So I had a contact. | ||
Here it is. | ||
Massachusetts confirmed human case of mosquito-borne virus. | ||
First human case since 2013. Of EEE. What is that? | ||
Scroll down so we can read that. | ||
Equine encephalitis. | ||
Equine encephalitis. | ||
That's horse. | ||
That's horse stuff. | ||
The first human case since 2013. At least nine towns are at critical risk of exposure to a rare but potentially fatal virus that can cause brain swelling. | ||
Oh, come on. | ||
According to the Massachusetts Department of Public Health. | ||
Fuck. | ||
Dude, I remember when I was a kid. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Me and this chick made out in the woods and wound up taking our pants off and stuff. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | ||
And I got fucking lit up by mosquitoes so bad. | ||
We had to stop fooling around. | ||
I was like, this is crazy. | ||
I mean, I had welts all over my leg. | ||
It was crazy. | ||
I was like, Jesus, this is what happens when you try to fool around in the woods. | ||
God's punishing me. | ||
Dude. | ||
That's terrible. | ||
In cold areas, the mosquitoes are way more aggressive. | ||
Yes, I know. | ||
The whole East Coast. | ||
Maine, forget it. | ||
Oh, Maine is the worst. | ||
Canada's worst. | ||
Brutal. | ||
I've never seen mosquitoes like Alaska, though. | ||
Alaskan misheaters are fucking bonkers. | ||
Are they big? | ||
They're huge, and they're super aggressive. | ||
They don't have any time. | ||
They come in, they move in quick. | ||
They just swarm on you. | ||
Yeah, this is what happens. | ||
This is why I'm so aggravated. | ||
L.A., we didn't have this. | ||
It did not exist until a year ago. | ||
I think it's your neighbor. | ||
You don't have them by your house? | ||
No. | ||
Really? | ||
I saw a bobcat fight with a rattlesnake, though. | ||
See, that I can handle. | ||
My buddy sent me a video. | ||
I saw the line. | ||
What'd you see? | ||
In the middle of the street? | ||
Yeah. | ||
With a rattlesnake? | ||
It was on Twitter. | ||
Oh, was it on Twitter? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Who put it on Twitter? | ||
I don't know. | ||
My buddy got it from his neighbor who saw it happen. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
Yeah, pull the one up. | ||
Maybe it might be the same one. | ||
A bobcat versus a rattlesnake? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's a good fight. | ||
Dude, the rattlesnake's a big fucking rattlesnake, too. | ||
Bobcat's trying to eat it. | ||
It's hard out there. | ||
It's hot. | ||
It's hard out there. | ||
I know. | ||
That's why the coyotes are eating cats. | ||
Yeah, they'll just take whatever they can get. | ||
I know. | ||
Everyone's hungry. | ||
It's hot. | ||
You gotta get through this month. | ||
But the thing about coyotes and cats, I think we can relay this to the thing about bears and deers that we're talking about in New Jersey. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You don't want all the bears dead because then there'll be so many fucking deers you'll be slamming into them with your cars. | ||
Right. | ||
You want some of them alive. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
It's called management. | ||
Yes. | ||
And you gotta manage the fucking deer, too. | ||
The thing about the deer, too, that's particularly offensive is when people are like, there's too many deer, what do we do? | ||
They're made out of food. | ||
Yeah, eat them. | ||
Shoot them and eat them. | ||
They're fucking delicious. | ||
My brother-in-law does. | ||
Does he? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He gets two or three, gets them put in the freezer, and that's their meat for the year. | ||
Yeah. | ||
In New Jersey. | ||
What do you got, Jamie? | ||
Yep, that's it. | ||
That's it. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Whoa! | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Look at that motherfucker. | ||
He's like, bitch, what the fuck? | ||
Oh, man. | ||
I'm going to eat you. | ||
Bitch, I'm going to fucking eat you. | ||
He's trying to eat him. | ||
He's trying to bite him. | ||
Wow, he got him. | ||
That doesn't look good. | ||
That cat is goddamn good. | ||
Wow, he got him. | ||
He tried to bite him, but he didn't let it. | ||
But look at his moves. | ||
He's so relentless, too. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
He just keeps going back at it. | ||
Jeez. | ||
It's hard out here in the West. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Pump cat's trying to eat a rattlesnake. | ||
unidentified
|
Fuck, man. | |
Yeah, it's tough. | ||
There's a lot of nastiness going on. | ||
It's the wild, wild west. | ||
That singer I was telling you about got bit in the foot on his walk across the country, Mike Posner. | ||
He's fucked up, right? | ||
Yeah, he can't walk for weeks. | ||
He's got to, like, relearn how to walk. | ||
What? | ||
From being bit by a rattler? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow, snakes can really hurt you bad, man. | ||
Jeez, there's a lot of them out here. | ||
They can cause your tissue to deteriorate. | ||
It can cause necropsy. | ||
It causes the death of tissue, like wherever the bite is, especially if you don't get it treated really quickly. | ||
I've seen a guy who, I was looking at this picture online, this guy got bit, wound up going to the hospital, and his skin had rotted away where his bone was exposed. | ||
unidentified
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Ah! | |
Yeah. | ||
Over how long? | ||
How much time? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't know, but he had a ton of skin grafts and operations to try to repair the area. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Terrible. | ||
Jeez. | ||
Terrible, terrible stuff. | ||
Alright, so don't go to the South. | ||
Don't go to the Dominican Republic. | ||
Don't go to Kazakhstan. | ||
Don't go overseas. | ||
Don't go in the woods. | ||
But do go to Netflix radio at 7 in the morning listening to Tom Papa. | ||
What a joke. | ||
I'll do, if you want... | ||
Well, we'll talk about it, but if you ever want to do the show, if you ever want to... | ||
Are you doing it in the afternoon for me? | ||
Yeah, of course. | ||
Yeah, we'll do a whole thing with you. | ||
Really? | ||
I feel like a diva. | ||
Well, you are. | ||
unidentified
|
People are like, I gotta work at 7. You fucking gotta work at 7. Well, that's the funny thing. | |
I was complaining about the hours. | ||
I'm like, I'm on 7 o'clock till 9. My brother-in-law's like, dude, I wake up at 5.30, I drive an hour to work, I'm there till 6 at night, and then I drive two hours home. | ||
So, boo-hoo, you get to go hang out and talk with Jerry Seinfeld for an hour. | ||
Ridiculous. | ||
We don't work that hard. | ||
No, we do not work that hard. | ||
Shout out to Tom Popo. | ||
Thanks for bringing me in. | ||
My pleasure, brother. | ||
I'll hook you up with some elk after this. | ||
Yeah, that'd be awesome. | ||
Thank you so much. | ||
You got any dates coming up? | ||
Want to tell anybody? | ||
Go to TomPapa.com. | ||
I'm coming out in a couple weeks. | ||
It all starts up again. | ||
Come to Papa. | ||
Come to Papa podcast. | ||
And then this new one that's Netflix Radio. | ||
What is it called again? | ||
Netflix Radio. | ||
What a joke on Netflix Radio. | ||
And it's on 7 in the morning. | ||
How many days a week? | ||
Four days a week. | ||
It runs 7 to 9 and 2 to 4 out here. | ||
Thank you, Tom Papa. | ||
Much love to you, my friend. | ||
Oh, you're the best. | ||
I love coming in. | ||
I love having you, buddy. |