Aug. 1, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:12:54
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Boom! | ||
| Brian Moses, you are one of the saviors of comedy. | ||
| I want you to know this. | ||
| Honestly, truly, really. | ||
| Because of Roast Battle? | ||
| Roast Battle is like one of the last real, like, sanctuaries for horrible comedy. | ||
| Like, nasty... | ||
| Evil, fucked up, but hilarious comedy. | ||
| And the way you do it, where you make everybody hug it out at the end, and you set the ground rules. | ||
| No violence. | ||
| This is just joke writing. | ||
| This is all, this is just, words don't hurt us. | ||
| When I first came back to the Comedy Store, it was like, how many years ago it was now? | ||
| It's like five years ago or something like that. | ||
| The exile was over. | ||
| And when I saw Roast Bottle, it was one of the things that made me go, whoa, this place is different now. | ||
| This place is changed. | ||
| It's evolved. | ||
| We brought a fight culture back to it, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where if you have a problem, we're in a place where all we use is words anyway, so duke it out that way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, not just that. | ||
| There's people that don't have problems with each other, and they just fuck each other up on that stage. | ||
| There's people with devastated friendships. | ||
| Yeah, they ruin friendships. | ||
| But nobody's ever attacked each other. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Because I've been there a couple times. | ||
| I stopped going. | ||
| It makes me feel bad. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| It's consensual. | ||
| Everybody's involved. | ||
| I'm the commentator for the UFC, and roast battle makes me feel bad. | ||
| That's the combat sport you don't like. | ||
| Just stop and think about how crazy that is. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Why? | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| Sometimes it's so mean. | ||
| Sometimes people say shit that's so mean. | ||
| You're like, yikes. | ||
| I saw, there was a joke recently by, it was Jimmy Carr and Megan Gailey, and Jimmy was judging her, and she was battling a puppet. | ||
| That's how crazy this show gets. | ||
| So this girl's got like a half around Comedy Central. | ||
| She's brilliant. | ||
| And Jimmy said something snide to her and her response was, I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. | ||
| And I was like, I can't believe I've never heard that before. | ||
| And his response to that was, oh, you can say funny things. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It was gorgeous. | ||
| I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. | ||
| I won't. | ||
| Let's break that down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I would have to be like this while that's like, hmm, I don't know if I'm going along with that one. | |
| False premise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not going along with that one. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, you're not fucking someone if they rape you. | ||
| No, no, it's not consensual, right? | ||
| You're not giving it back. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get what she's doing. | ||
| I get what she's saying. | ||
| It was just so hard, though. | ||
| I was like, damn, I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| That's hard. | ||
| And a lady said that to a man. | ||
| And it took him a couple seconds to be like, I'm going to let this happen. | ||
| There was some senator somewhere, and they were talking about rape, and he actually said that a woman can't, unless she submits, a man can't actually rape her. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Unless she gives into it. | ||
| Like she taps out? | ||
| Like, I'm giving it to you. | ||
| There was something along those lines. | ||
| It was almost like saying that she kind of wants it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Yeah, it was one of the most ridiculous... | ||
| He says he misspoke, of course. | ||
| Oh, he misspoke. | ||
| Didn't they make Mario Lopez apologize? | ||
| For what? | ||
| Because he said that babies shouldn't be trans. | ||
| And he said, my comments were ignorant and insensitive because I want to keep my job at E. Right, exactly. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| He should have added that. | ||
| He should have went dot dot dot because I want to keep my job at E. Because I want to keep my job. | ||
| That's really all it is. | ||
| Three-year-old trans babies. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Some Blair White, who's actually a trans woman, had a hilarious quote. | ||
| She goes, three-year-old trans kids are like vegan cats. | ||
| We know who's making the lifestyle choices. | ||
| Oooh, message. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And she's trans. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| Well, she can say that. | ||
| She's free. | ||
| Free like a bird. | ||
| I mean, what age? | ||
| It ain't three. | ||
| You should be in your twenties or something. | ||
| You should be in your... | ||
| Like an adult. | ||
| A fucking adult. | ||
| A full-grown adult, right? | ||
| Three-year-olds. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Camera cut off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| The fucking government! | ||
| They don't want us talking about trans babies! | ||
| Is it dead? | ||
| Did the camera die? | ||
| The cord died? | ||
| Oh, hi everybody. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, we live in the weirdest time in terms of progressive ideology. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Dogma. | ||
| Gender's a construct. | ||
| Race is a construct. | ||
| Trying to bring it all down. | ||
| But race is not a construct because no one's been successfully transracial. | ||
| Oh, that's true. | ||
| Never been pulled off, even remotely. | ||
| Not even close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eddie Murphy on SNL. Yeah, but you could go black to white. | |
| Dave Chappelle used to do it all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember, he used to do the crazy wig. | |
| Yeah, that was pretty good, too. | ||
| You could do black to white. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| You used to be able to do white to Asian. | ||
| You can't even do that anymore. | ||
| So you can't go transracial. | ||
| You could probably go Asian to white. | ||
| People really hold on to this race thing. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Why do we hold on to it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, because I don't look at you as like, I don't even know what you are. | ||
| You're just a tank, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'm mostly Italian, Irish, 1% Asian, 1.6% African. | ||
| See? | ||
| And I don't even have that. | ||
| I'm just, like, a nigga from America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, I'm just American black. | ||
| Well, it's... | ||
| If you care that much, like, variety's interesting. | ||
| I like that people look cool. | ||
| Like, we were talking about Blake Griffin. | ||
| Like, it's interesting that there's a guy like him out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big old giant dude. | ||
| Six foot ten, albino-looking. | ||
| He's probably got all kinds of shit inside of him. | ||
| All kinds of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I mean, when you meet a guy like that, you're like, wow, that's a different type of person. | ||
| Look how big he is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Shaq. | ||
| When Shaq comes around UFC fighters, there's a photo of Shaq, and he was training at American Top Team with my friend Dean Thomas. | ||
| And Dean is like, I guess Dean's like 5'9", 5'10". | ||
| And he's standing next to Shaq, and Shaq is standing next to Junior Dos Santos. | ||
| He used to be the heavyweight champion. | ||
| He looks like his child. | ||
| Looks like Shaq's child, because he's so small. | ||
| And Shaq's still like, what, seven foot? | ||
| Like he hasn't shrunk at all? | ||
| He's a legitimate, gigantic human being. | ||
| I mean, he's fucking huge. | ||
| I like the fact that there's people that are different. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| You know, the real problem is racism. | ||
| The real problem is not that there's variety. | ||
| The variety part's interesting. | ||
| It's also like this new racism. | ||
| There's so much of the cancel culture and you can't say what you can't say. | ||
| That's not scary racism like it used to be, right? | ||
| I think people are more scared about the silent racism than that over-aggressive racism like the lynching in the 50s and 40s and before. | ||
| Well, we all know that that stuff happened less than 100 years ago, which is why it's scary. | ||
| When you see photographs, like those black and white photographs of the families standing around while there's a black guy hanging from a tree behind them like that. | ||
| That is not that long ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So that shit is still in the air down there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now this new racism is like, you know, you can't talk about trans kids, you know? | ||
| Well, that's not racism, but yeah. | ||
| What that is is authoritarianism. | ||
| They're just trying to enforce a certain way of thinking and behaving, and they go hard on anybody who deviates. | ||
| Poor old Mario Lopez. | ||
| Poor old Mario Lopez. | ||
| Probably the nicest guy that's ever lived. | ||
| Doesn't have a fucking controversial bone in his body. | ||
| He's like, well, I don't think kids should be trans. | ||
| I mean, they're little babies. | ||
| And they're like, what? | ||
| You insensitive. | ||
| It's because they can go after him for something like that. | ||
| And he'll acquiesce. | ||
| He'll give in. | ||
| That's almost like backing into that old segregative, I guess, Jim Crow thing. | ||
| Remember when, well, another black guy talking about Emmett Till. | ||
| But remember when Emmett Till gets killed, right? | ||
| It's because of, you know, he's doing a, he's saying, hey, you look kind of pretty. | ||
| Or he's like, he's doing a cat call to a lady, right? | ||
| And then this woman goes and tells these group of dudes. | ||
| And it's like, hey. | ||
| And they're just like, oh. | ||
| We've got to cancel Emmett Till. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's almost the same thing. | ||
| I'm not saying it's that aggressive and violent, but it's the same thing of you can't say anything. | ||
| You can't have a brain. | ||
| I guess there's, I want to say, a criminal thought now. | ||
| Even having a thought. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's thought crime. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, that's the Orwell shit, right? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| This is what people are deeply concerned about. | ||
| It's authoritarian reinforcement of their own particular way of thinking and behaving and it's because people have the opportunity to complain now like if if you just didn't like the way someone addressed women or someone you really didn't have a way to broadcast it 20 years ago. | ||
| This is like you just but now anybody can just get on Twitter or Facebook. | ||
| And it can go viral, and a bunch of other fucking pink-haired weirdos will retweet you, and next thing you know, there's a goddamn mob after Mario Lopez. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, that's what happened. | ||
| It's interesting, though. | ||
| I mean, it's weird to watch it all take place, especially from our business, because comedy relies on taboos. | ||
| And in a lot of ways, they're reinforcing us. | ||
| They're helping us, because people come to us for relief. | ||
| Yeah, thank you. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Thank you, yeah. | ||
| Keep the PC culture going, honestly. | ||
| It's only making us more money. | ||
| It's making us more accessible. | ||
| The fucking comedy store has never been more packed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| People are coming in. | ||
| They're looking to hear those things. | ||
| Oh, they're so happy when you go against the grain. | ||
| When you go hard in the paint, they go crazy. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| Yeah, bring on OJ. Bring him back. | ||
| You see OJ's fucking Twitter? | ||
| Have you been paying attention to OJ's Twitter? | ||
| No, I don't follow it, Joe. | ||
| I just think you can't follow OJ on Twitter. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I follow him. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Doug Stanhope and I, back in the day when we were hosting The Man Show, we had an idea for having O.J. Simpson. | ||
| At the end of every show, O.J. Simpson would be like Andy Rooney. | ||
| And he would break down the problems in America. | ||
| Here's what I think about things. | ||
| Hey, Twitter world. | ||
| And so that's what he's doing. | ||
| He's literally doing what Doug and I wanted him to do on The Man Show, but he's doing it all on his own. | ||
| Like, he was talking about the debates. | ||
| He goes, is it just me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or does Tulsi and Andrew Yang, are they the only ones that are following the rules? | |
| I'm just saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Following the rules, OJ? Bring it back to the beginning. | |
| Give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Twitter world. | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Go to the beginning so I can hear. | ||
| Hey, Twitter world. | ||
| That's my favorite part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Twitter world. | |
| Is it my imagination that Yang and Gabbard are the only two who know how to follow the rules of this debate? | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| He's just saying. | ||
| Voice of reason. | ||
| But wait, he can't even vote. | ||
| He's a convicted felon now, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So yeah, OJ, why are you even involved? | ||
| You can't even vote. | ||
| Because he wants to know where everything's going. | ||
| I mean, he talks about the NFL draft. | ||
| He's got a lot of sports talk on his Twitter telling people they should get paid more and you need to draft this guy and bring this guy in and So OJ's a GM now, alright. | ||
| You know, there's like, you could have done some stuff. | ||
| Like, he could have embezzled some money and went to jail and got out or maybe didn't file taxes. | ||
| Like if Wesley Snipes, who went to jail for tax evasion, he started talking about politics, he wouldn't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you killed two people, OJ. Allegedly, he got offered that joke, come on. | |
| You fucking killed two people. | ||
| I'm saying he killed him. | ||
| He killed two people. | ||
| I just think it's wrong what happened to Ron Goldman. | ||
| Nobody even talks about him. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They talk about the wife. | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| They never talk about the other guy. | ||
| He was like 25 and... | ||
| Just a fucking waiter, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bringing someone's sunglasses back. | ||
| He was side dick. | ||
| He was bringing the dick, right? | ||
| Right place, wrong time. | ||
| Was he bringing the dick? | ||
| Has that been proven? | ||
| They were sleeping together, right? | ||
| That's what it was... | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| I mean, that's also a rumor. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| We don't even know. | ||
| We can't even ask him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I'm trying to find the killers. | ||
| Ron Goldman deserves like a holiday. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He really does. | ||
| Ron Goldman day today on Brian Moses' Joe Rogan episode. | ||
| I knew his sister back in the day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She used to come around the set of news radio. | ||
| I knew her from back then. | ||
| She was very nice. | ||
| It was devastating, though. | ||
| It was like knowing someone whose brother was murdered and, you know, you're hanging out with her, it's like always in the air, you know? | ||
| It's always in the air. | ||
| Yeah, that's like a... | ||
| She had like a pin with her brother's face on it. | ||
| I should bring you some, like, black barbecues. | ||
| There's a lot of sisters there who, you know, brothers got murdered. | ||
| But the difference is it's ultra, ultra public. | ||
| I mean, this was pre-internet, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the biggest thing to date. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I was watching the verdict with my girlfriend at the time. | ||
| We're sitting in front of the TV, and I'll never forget, when they said not guilty, my girlfriend put her hand on her face. | ||
| I'm like, oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| She couldn't believe it. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because I remember being like, I was like, it was either elementary school or middle school, and I remember the verdict happening, and it was like a split verdict. | ||
| My teacher, who was white, she was like devastated, and like all the black kids, it was like me and another kid. | ||
| We were so happy. | ||
| We were just like, yes, because we didn't know any better. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We're just like, we're just happy because a black guy got up because of what happened to Rodney King. | ||
| We're just like, this is redemption. | ||
| That's how many people felt about it. | ||
| They felt like... | ||
| The Rodney King thing was so fucked up that, I mean, the problem with the Rodney King thing is you only see the end. | ||
| Apparently he led them on a crazy high-speed chase, and there was fights, and he was a big fellow, and he was on PCP, so he was swinging for the fences. | ||
| And so they had to beat him down, apparently, according to the cops. | ||
| But then, you know... | ||
| Well, PCP makes your bones stronger, doesn't it? | ||
| No, it makes you really impervious to pain, though. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I had a friend who got his finger bitten off when he was on PCP. And he didn't feel it? | ||
| Until he woke up? | ||
| I don't think he remembers, because he was so fucked up, but he was a boxer, and he had his toe removed, and Not his pinky toe, not his fat toe, the big toe, but the one next to it, and put it where his index finger was, on his right hand. | ||
| They moved his toe to his finger. | ||
| They moved his toe to his finger and curved it permanently so he could throw right hooks. | ||
| Oh, isn't that a performance enhancing? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| But when he'd shake your hand, he would give you the little finger. | ||
| Because they don't make it so it can bend again. | ||
| It was just bent like this forever. | ||
| So if he was punching you, that was the only way. | ||
| So when he opened it, it would stay curled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a hard man. | ||
| And he was doing PCP. He was doing PCP at the time. | ||
| You guys were hanging out? | ||
| He was my boxing coach. | ||
| He was a madman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Legit madman. | ||
| I mean, wouldn't that be performance enhancing, taking PCP while being in a fight because you could just get the shit beat out of you? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. | ||
| But you'd be too aggressive. | ||
| It's not going to make you a better fighter. | ||
| You wouldn't want your opponent to be on PCP because they would have no fear. | ||
| They would just come charging at you and they might be able to just fuck you up just because of that if you panicked. | ||
| But if you were a seasoned fighter and a guy was on PCP, he would just come charging recklessly. | ||
| He'd just crack him as he's coming in and keep moving. | ||
| It's like the LAPD. Eventually his body would wear out. | ||
| Your body could only go for so long. | ||
| Yeah, until it becomes mush. | ||
| There's a lot of people that believe in themselves and they get flatlined. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, they 100% believe in themselves. | ||
| You gotta fucking believe in it, bro. | ||
| If you believe, you can achieve. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| You know, if you believe in yourself, if Francis Ngannou punches you in the face, you're going into the spirit world. | ||
| Yeah, or like, ACO's beat you down for like eight minutes, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, with clubs. | ||
| With clubs, yeah, like metal clubs. | ||
| Face you and club you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was that pre-tasers? | ||
| Did they not have tasers back then? | ||
| So that was after the choke, because you couldn't choke guys out anymore. | ||
| So that's why they said they beat him down because they couldn't choke him out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They couldn't choke him out? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| They put a ban on chokeholds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why'd they do that? | ||
| Because they were killing guys. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| They were saying guys were on PCP when they weren't on PCP and they were like literally killing dudes. | ||
| Were they killing them with their arms or were they using a nightclub? | ||
| Like a nightstick? | ||
| One guy killed with a stick, I think. | ||
| Yeah, the stick makes sense. | ||
| And the second case was a guy who actually choked a guy. | ||
| Just with a rear naked choke. | ||
| He killed him? | ||
| No. | ||
| I know a dude who killed a guy with a choke. | ||
| In the ring? | ||
| No. | ||
| Killed him in a gym. | ||
| He was banging this guy's wife. | ||
| Oh, he really went for him. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| He was banging the guy's wife and he invited the guy to his school and then choked him to death and killed him and then was driving the guy's car around town. | ||
| Dude, that's cold-blooded. | ||
| And then they arrested him. | ||
| Yeah, he was an interesting character. | ||
| He was a fake Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. | ||
| My friend Eddie Bravo called him out. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Fake? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He was fake. | ||
| He was a fake black belt. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He was telling everybody he was a black belt. | ||
| And Eddie rolled with him. | ||
| And I remember him coming back to me and he's like, that guy's not a black belt. | ||
| I go, what, you sure? | ||
| And he goes, dude, he don't know anything. | ||
| Like, it was too crazy. | ||
| It was like barely, it was like a white belt. | ||
| You can get killed doing shit like that. | ||
| I thought maybe he was doing it because he was, maybe he was just being nice and wasn't going hard. | ||
| And he goes, but then as time goes on, I was like, this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| And so then he calls him up and he was like, hey, are you a fucking black belt? | ||
| The guy's like, well, you know, I'm a black belt in Japanese jiu-jitsu. | ||
| He goes, stop, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| Are you a fucking black belt? | ||
| And there's like this big pause. | ||
| He's like, bro, you're a fucking liar. | ||
| You're a liar. | ||
| So Eddie separated himself from the guy. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Years later, the dude wound up murdering somebody. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| With jiu-jitsu? | ||
| Yeah, he murdered a guy with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| He knew something. | ||
| He strangled the guy. | ||
| Well, you know, I could teach you how to put a choke in five seconds. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| It wouldn't take long at all. | ||
| Yeah, I could teach you how to do it. | ||
| Just wrap your forearm underneath someone's neck. | ||
| Clamp your hand to your bicep, put this arm behind the head, squeeze. | ||
| You could kill somebody. | ||
| It's not a hard thing to learn, but to actually apply it to someone who knows what they're doing, you'd have to be really good. | ||
| No one's going to let you choke them, but this guy didn't know anything. | ||
| So I think he snuck up behind this guy who he killed and just choked him. | ||
| Choked him to death. | ||
| Sounds like the OJ murder. | ||
| I think he brought the guy to his school under false premises. | ||
| He's in jail now. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Shout out to that guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was weird because I got semi-involved in it in that the guy who wound up ratting him out to the cops was one of Eddie's students. | ||
| And I was talking to the guy on the phone about it. | ||
| I was like, what's going on with that guy? | ||
| And then the cops called me afterwards and said, hey, we were tapping that guy's phone. | ||
| We want to know what you know. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| I'm on the fucking set of Fear Factor. | ||
| I'm in my trailer. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Putting my microphone on. | ||
| I'm like, huh? | ||
| You were in a murder case all of a sudden. | ||
| I'm like, hey, listen. | ||
| I don't know that guy. | ||
| I go, this is what I know. | ||
| He's a fake black belt. | ||
| I told him the whole deal. | ||
| And I had heard that he killed somebody. | ||
| But I wasn't sure if it was true because the guy's so full of shit. | ||
| This is how foolish it this guy was. | ||
| This guy had a friend drop him off in the woods because he said he was going to a kumite karate contest, like a big karate competition. | ||
| But it was no rules and it was secretive. | ||
| So he dropped him off in the woods. | ||
| Where was this guy from? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But he lived in California for a while. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He dropped him off in the woods with a duffel bag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He gave him a duffel bag. | ||
| He had a duffel bag with him, rather. | ||
| And it's like a duffel bag that's just big enough to fit a trophy in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like about this big? | ||
| So he leaves, goes out into the woods. | ||
| The guy comes back the next day. | ||
| He's got a trophy. | ||
| No duffel bag. | ||
| So he brought a fucking trophy with him, and then he came out of the woods like, yeah, I won. | ||
| I fucked everybody up. | ||
| And so he thought this guy would tell everybody that he beat everybody in this karate tournament. | ||
| This guy's a hell of an actor. | ||
| He really commits. | ||
| He was one of those guys that snuck through my crazy radar. | ||
| Because he's a friend of a friend, so I assumed... | ||
| Fucking 30 years old. | ||
| I don't know any better. | ||
| I was dumb. | ||
| And I was like, I assumed. | ||
| 30? | ||
| 30, yeah. | ||
| Aren't you fully cooked by then? | ||
| Nah, you think you are. | ||
| You think you are. | ||
| You haven't met enough murderers yet. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| You have to meet enough really legitimate crazy people to have them in the database where you're like, oh, you're fucking, you're a sociopath. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Well, what's worse, a psycho or a sociopath? | ||
| A sociopath is someone who doesn't care about someone. | ||
| A psychopath, I think, is someone who violently attacks people. | ||
| But in many ways, they're interchangeable. | ||
| Let's Google that. | ||
| What is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath? | ||
| Because I think... | ||
| A sociopath can have no violent tendencies, but I think the idea is that they have no compassion for other people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, I have a friend, and she thinks her sister's a sociopath. | ||
| Everybody thinks everybody's a fucking sociopath these days. | ||
| That's the hot word these days. | ||
| It's like calling somebody a racist or calling someone a Nazi. | ||
| Exactly, yeah. | ||
| The quick thing I pulled up... | ||
| Well, put it up. | ||
| Yeah, you explained exactly what it said, but there's just like a Venn diagram that's a better explanation. | ||
| By the way, every woman who's going to hear this is going to be like, he is a sociopath! | ||
| So there's something in the middle. | ||
| It could be both. | ||
| So genetically predisposed. | ||
| A psychopath genetically predisposed. | ||
| My parents would have to be psychopaths. | ||
| What is happening with the screen there, buddy? | ||
| Better than a purpose. | ||
| You should connect again. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe it's dead. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| Oh, even better. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Lacks empathy. | ||
| A psychopath. | ||
| Genetically predisposed. | ||
| Lacks empathy and guilt. | ||
| Convincing behavior. | ||
| Look how they spell behavior. | ||
| Oh, it's conniving. | ||
| Conniving behavior. | ||
| But look how they spell behavior. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With the I-O-U-R. Higher job success. | |
| What? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Antisocial personality disorders, conformed social relationships, and treatable. | ||
| That's the one in the middle. | ||
| Okay, so they're both treatable. | ||
| Sociopath, environmentally influenced, feel empathy and guilt, erratic behavior, struggles to find and keep jobs. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I thought sociopath didn't feel empathy. | ||
| See? | ||
| I don't think this is right. | ||
| I think this is some British definition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, the psychopath doesn't care, but like it's the same. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| What, the sociopath does care? | ||
| A sociopath would feel no guilt about hurting a stranger. | ||
| So how is that... | ||
| It's not saying the same thing. | ||
| But it's not saying the same thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It says they feel empathy. | ||
| When you look at that chart, it says sociopaths feel empathy. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| We kind of get it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I feel like a lot of stand-up comics, as much as they're narcissistic, they might also be sociopaths. | ||
| I think a lot of people, they get to a point in their career where they're trying so hard to be successful that it becomes all about them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it becomes... | ||
| Such an obsession and the narcissism is so strong that all they really care about is their own good and their own success. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they'll fuck people over. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of sociopathic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you lived it? | ||
| Lived it a little bit. | ||
| A little bit? | ||
| You want to talk? | ||
| You want to talk about it or you want to keep it on? | ||
| We should keep it on the hush. | ||
| We can't break it on this one. | ||
| We'll come back for that one. | ||
| We'll do that when the camera stops rolling. | ||
| We've all had those experiences. | ||
| You know when you find it? | ||
| You find it when you start getting a little bit of success. | ||
| And it's not even much. | ||
| It could be anything. | ||
| You get a development deal. | ||
| And all of a sudden people are like... | ||
| There's people that equate good things happening to other people as bad things happening to them. | ||
| And that's the narcissism. | ||
| That's that, yeah. | ||
| Extreme. | ||
| Egomania, right. | ||
| Extreme, extreme narcissism. | ||
| And obviously, you have to be, this has to be something wrong with you most of the time, not 100% of the time, but most of the time, to want to be a comedian. | ||
| Right, absolutely. | ||
| Something's got to be wrong. | ||
| Yeah, because this is like your ego gets kicked in the dick every day, you know, especially in this town. | ||
| So just taking that every day, you have to have something a little wrong with you. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And no better way to see it than the goddamn open mic nights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bruh. | |
| I can't go anymore. | ||
| I used to be able to go and just watch, but now it's so fucking crazy. | ||
| It's just, I can't. | ||
| Especially the comedy store, because now there's a crowd now. | ||
| I mean, back when, I mean, I remember when I was coming up, there was no crowd. | ||
| It was just your peers. | ||
| Open mic nights are packed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Packed. | |
| Yeah, like with a real audience. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, like that's... | ||
| You guys are stealing. | ||
| There's people that are fans of comedy now that want to see the process. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that what that is? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of... | ||
| Podcasts. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| We started talking about it on podcasts, and next thing you know, I think, over the last six, seven years, you start to see people that are like, I want to know what it's like. | ||
| Because they love going to see headliners. | ||
| If you love going to see the fully finished product, you want to see what it's like. | ||
| It's almost like going to watch an amateur's fight. | ||
| Like, I'll keep an eye on him. | ||
| Maybe one day he'll be the champ. | ||
| I hear that, but then it's also, I mean, there's that, but I feel like spiting, yeah, you can kind of see somebody's style here and there, but with comedy, you see everybody's style. | ||
| You're going to see a young guy who's probably doing a Dave Chappelle type of thing, and a guy who's doing a Jim Gaffigan type of thing, a Joe Rogan kind of thing, a Mitch Hedberg kind of thing. | ||
| So that's just what an open mic is. | ||
| You're going to see a bunch of copycats until they figure it out. | ||
| You can't just do that. | ||
| But what's cool about it is, you go from that... | ||
| And then you can go into the other room, like, you can go into the main room, and there'll be a real show going on. | ||
| Right, Kill Tony. | ||
| Yeah, so you could see both on the same day. | ||
| Like, you really can. | ||
| You could go see a real comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could see an open mic night, and then at the end of the open mic night, like, Chappelle shows up at Pop-Up all the time. | ||
| Right, Dice Clay. | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| So you literally watch these amateurs, and then boom, like a world-renowned movie. | ||
| Professional shows up. | ||
| You're like, oh, that's the finished product. | ||
| We get it now. | ||
| But they're never going to be. | ||
| I mean, that's crazy. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| But somebody used to be... | ||
| I mean, Chappelle was an open-miker. | ||
| We all were open-mikers. | ||
| When did you start? | ||
| 1988. I was 21. 21, okay. | ||
| He was like, what, 14 when he started? | ||
| He was a baby. | ||
| How did you even get in? | ||
| I think they let him in. | ||
| I didn't know you could get in. | ||
| I thought you had to be 21 because it was a bar. | ||
| But it turns out there's a law where you can be... | ||
| I think in Massachusetts, you could be 18 with like a note to perform at a nightclub. | ||
| They just had to make sure that they didn't serve you alcohol. | ||
| When I met Dave, I think Dave is like four or five years younger than me. | ||
| And I was 23 or something like that. | ||
| He was a baby. | ||
| 17 probably? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I met him at the Catch Rising Star. | ||
| Catch Rising Star in Boston. | ||
| Or not in Boston, in New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was he already passing all the clubs by that point? | ||
| Um, he must have been. | ||
| He must have been. | ||
| He was on stage, and they were already talking about him. | ||
| Like, look at this young kid. | ||
| Like, he's so talented. | ||
| I remember Silverman, Sarah, she was telling me, she was like, I remember when Chappelle got Mel Brooks' one of his last films, The Men in Tights. | ||
| And it was like a big talk in New York. | ||
| It was just like, hey, that 19-year-old kid just got a Mel Brooks deal. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The world was a different place back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isaac Hayes was alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it was a different time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You guys were scared of AIDS. This is the 90s, right? | ||
| So yeah, so AIDS was big. | ||
| You couldn't really fuck anybody. | ||
| Dude, the first time I got an AIDS test, I was so nervous. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It just was a slideshow. | ||
| Every bad decision I never made. | ||
| Every time I never wore a condom, it was just going through my hand. | ||
| Because everybody was convinced. | ||
| It was funny because at the same time, Kinnison had a bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Where he goes, like, they say, Sam! | ||
| They say AIDS is a communicable disease. | ||
| Straight people can get it too. | ||
| He goes, name one! | ||
| Name one fucking guy! | ||
| Fuck you, it's not our dance! | ||
| And people were so... | ||
| Did anybody you know? | ||
| People were so mad. | ||
| Well, nobody I know. | ||
| But I was just, you know, when it happened, I remember in my car, I was living in Boston, in my car driving, and I was listening to the radio, and Magic Johnson had a press conference to announce that he had HIV. And it was like a scene in a zombie movie where the first person got bitten. | ||
| I was like, oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's happening. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I'm like, Magic Johnson with all his money? | ||
| That guy's got HIV? Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, we're fucked. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| I remember thinking that. | ||
| And then it was probably like a year or two later, I got an AIDS test. | ||
| After Magic got it two years later. | ||
| I didn't have any money. | ||
| I didn't have health insurance. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| They cost money back then. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now they're just free. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, now they want people to not get AIDS. Or people just get AIDS sometimes just to get the free health care. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is a rumor on the street I've heard in the gay community, because I live in the gay community. | ||
| Not that I am, but I'm saying I live there because it's clean and it's nice. | ||
| But nothing's anything wrong with gay people, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's nothing wrong. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| You live in a gay neighborhood because it's safe. | ||
| It's safe. | ||
| Oh my God, is it safe? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just have to worry about, you know, anyway. | ||
| You drop your keys when you're naked. | ||
| I don't go outside naked anymore, Joe. | ||
| But yeah, they say like, yeah, some guys will just get it just to get the free healthcare. | ||
| This before Obamacare There's a thing called bug chasers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Do you know what that is? | ||
| Mm-hmm It was gay dudes that for whatever reason look a lot of people are self-loathing, right? | ||
| There's people cut themselves people to tattoo their face. | ||
| They hate themselves for whatever reason and they punish themselves Well, there was a little hates himself tattooing his face. | ||
| There's got to be something wrong Mike Tyson Mike Tyson. | ||
| Yeah, I think he had some issues. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's my favorite, by the way. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| He is my spirit animal. | ||
| I fucking love Mike Tyson. | ||
| I got Tyson weed over there if you want to smoke some. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you smoke weed? | ||
| Yeah, I smoke weed. | ||
| How often? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Every day? | ||
| You want to smoke some right now? | ||
| Yeah, I smoke some right now. | ||
| Smoke some Tyson weed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold, please. | |
| Mom, sorry. | ||
| Hold, please. | ||
| Breaking out the good stuff. | ||
| That's going to knock me out. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Mike Tyson, holler at me, please. | ||
| Some Tyson Ranch. | ||
| Original stuff, I think. | ||
| In California City. | ||
| Dude, I grew up out. | ||
| That's where the earthquakes are. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I think they're launching it soon. | ||
| The Ranch. | ||
| The Ranch. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| He brought us a golden box. | ||
| Look at that box back there. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Who made that? | ||
| That wasn't... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoever knows Mike. | ||
| What was he on? | ||
| What episode was that? | ||
| Two, three? | ||
| It was a few months back. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It's the bamboo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Can't believe we never smoked weed before. | ||
| Did we ever? | ||
| No, we haven't together. | ||
| Never? | ||
| Ever? | ||
| We've had a drink together. | ||
| We haven't smoked together. | ||
| That's outrageous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Outrageous. | |
| But anyway, there was bug chasers. | ||
| Bug chasers were dudes that, for whatever reason, for whatever reason, they wanted to catch HIV. They wanted to what? | ||
| They wanted to. | ||
| They'd call them bug chasers. | ||
| They would literally go out and try to get it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I mean, they hated themselves. | ||
| They wanted to die. | ||
| Oh, this is a real thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, this is like black kids would be like the death by cop thing. | ||
| Yes, yes, yeah. | ||
| Not just black kids. | ||
| You see that video recently of the guy who's running towards the cop with a knife and he's fucking screaming and yelling and he's like, don't make me shoot you, don't make me shoot you. | ||
| He just wanted to die. | ||
| The cop just starts unloading on the guy. | ||
| Suicide by cop is super, super common. | ||
| I did not know that, yeah. | ||
| I thought it was just a hood thing. | ||
| No, it's a real common thing. | ||
| But bug chasers were, I mean, maybe it's still a thing, but now AIDS is relatively... | ||
| Dude, AIDS is the apple of diseases. | ||
| It's the Oprah diseases. | ||
| I mean, honestly, it's like, when Magic Johnson got it, AIDS was like, our stock's about to go up like fucking Disney. | ||
| I mean, because you think about it, Crack and AIDS kind of came in at the same time, and Crack was killing it, and all of a sudden, now AIDS is like, you get AIDS, it's like you've... | ||
| It's not that big of a deal. | ||
| That's a hit track, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like, look at fucking Charlie Sheen. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| Looks great. | ||
| Dude, Jeff at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Yeah, Jeff at the Comedy Store has had it forever. | ||
| Yeah, he had it, like, yeah, back when it wasn't cool, before it was cool, you know? | ||
| Still got it. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| Looks great, still got it. | ||
| But it's HIV. It's not AIDS. Right, right. | ||
| It's not full-blown. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| But nobody gets full-blown. | ||
| Some people do. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can live with full-blown? | ||
| I don't know why they get it. | ||
| Maybe some people don't react to the medication. | ||
| Maybe some people don't get treated. | ||
| Full blown. | ||
| You can live a full blown. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I don't think you live very long. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you can live with HIV. Yes. | ||
| Well, now they can get it to the point where your HIV... By the way, if you're a doctor and you listen to this, we're sorry. | ||
| I know we're... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, you guys don't know jack shit. | |
| You have no idea what you guys are talking about. | ||
| But if you... | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Death usually occurs within six months to three years from the time of developing full-blown AIDS. People living with AIDS. Is there any other disease that has full-blown next to it? | ||
| It's only AIDS, right? | ||
| It's like a rap name. | ||
| You get full-blown flu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Full-blown AIDS. And that's the scientific term, by the way. | |
| That's so blown out. | ||
| That's so slang. | ||
| Full-blown AIDS. Put that back up so I can read it again. | ||
| Sorry, that's okay. | ||
| I was looking for other things with full-blown in it. | ||
| No, there's nothing else with full-blown in it. | ||
| People living with AIDS go through periods of being sick, alternating with periods of reasonable health. | ||
| It's usually one of the many opportunistic infections that eventually cause death. | ||
| So yeah, your immune system smashed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that causes death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| Full-blown. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Yeah, full-blown. | ||
| Shut up, HIV. HIV's like, what, like 38 now? | ||
| Yeah, HIV's been around for a minute. | ||
| Happy birthday. | ||
| Now it's the point where you can be undetectable. | ||
| Like, Magic Johnson's apparently undetectable. | ||
| Even through AIDS tests, like when you test him for HIV, he shows HIV negative. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they say it's still dormant in the system somehow or another. | ||
| It's very confusing. | ||
| So it's like herpes almost not for him. | ||
| Like it flares every once in a while. | ||
| No, because I think if you have herpes, even if you don't have an outbreak, if they test you, it'll show that you have herpes. | ||
| Oh, but with HIV, no. | ||
| Yeah, with the way they have the medication, the way the body responds to the medication now, at least in some cases, like Magic Johnson's apparently, He shows up HIV negative. | ||
| But the weird thing is like, well, isn't he cured then? | ||
| Is that cured? | ||
| They've only cured two people, and he's not one of them. | ||
| So when they have started curing people, which I was like, okay, well, how do they differentiate? | ||
| Like, what's the difference between curing someone and what's going on with Magic Johnson when he's HIV negative? | ||
| If you're anything else negative, they figure they cured you. | ||
| Yeah, they haven't actually, yeah, they haven't, they haven't deemed him, he's done with that, like you've, you've cured it. | ||
| Like if you get tested for chicken pox, and it comes up negative, they've cured you of chicken pox, right? | ||
| Polio, negative, polio negative. | ||
| One guy, meet the only person to be cured of HIV. There's one more guy now. | ||
| There's one more guy now. | ||
| So what happened to this guy? | ||
| He had stem cell treatment is what fixed it. | ||
| See? | ||
| I thought I just read something about that. | ||
| They're holding good stuff from us, yeah. | ||
| They just cured another guy, I want to say, a few months back. | ||
| It was this year they did it. | ||
| Well, there was something that I posted on my Twitter feed that apparently is an older story. | ||
| It's from like two years ago. | ||
| And it was kind of from like a clickbaity type site that has cool headlines. | ||
| But it was about how a guy was paralyzed. | ||
| And he's got regaining use of his legs because of stem cells. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know enough about it. | ||
| Look, if that's true, that'd be fucking incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And don't hold that from people. | ||
| I don't know enough about how severe the injury was. | ||
| I do know that some people get temporarily paralyzed by certain injuries. | ||
| I knew a dude who got slammed on his head and his whole body went numb and he couldn't move his body. | ||
| He was like, oh my god, I'm paralyzed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is it. | |
| This is it. | ||
| This is how I'm living from now on. | ||
| I can't move my body. | ||
| But then his body slowly started coming back, and he just got jolted because he was wrestling. | ||
| It's like a stinger. | ||
| Yeah, he was wrestling. | ||
| Landed on his head. | ||
| Scary fucking shit, man. | ||
| Yeah, I mean paralyzed and full-blown AIDS. Yeah, so I don't know if they really can bring someone back from that, but man, if they can, holy shit. | ||
| That's a great question, by the way, because they do say if he's HIV negative, they wouldn't say he's cured of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So then, evidently, it does show up in some tests somewhere. | ||
| Again, scientists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| We're sorry. | ||
| Also, how is he the only NBA player in history to have HIV? Right. | ||
| Do you remember Keenan Ivory Wayne's bit about him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not Keenan. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Damon. | ||
| Damon Wayne's bit about him. | ||
| Damon, who I sing his praises often on this podcast. | ||
| He's like the most underrated comedian of all time. | ||
| I hear that often, by the way. | ||
| The greats. | ||
| One of the greats. | ||
| But he had a bit about nobody wanted to cover Magic Johnson except for Dennis Rodman. | ||
| And Dennis Rodman was like, I fuck Madonna. | ||
| I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Dude, it was one of those jokes where you hear it, you can't fucking believe he said it, and you are on the floor slapping the ground. | ||
| You're like, no, no, no. | ||
| He was a monster. | ||
| He's still a monster, by the way. | ||
| I remember featuring for him a year or two ago. | ||
| Years ago, actually. | ||
| Underrated. | ||
| People forgot. | ||
| It's like that Roy Jones Jr. song. | ||
| Y'all must have forgot. | ||
| He should put a special out, though. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Fuck yeah, he should put a special out. | ||
| And all his sitcoms are pretty great, too. | ||
| He took a long time doing that TV show. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| People associated him with that television show, which was very family-friendly. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Made a lot of money, I'm sure. | ||
| Did you ever guest star? | ||
| Is that what you're mad about? | ||
| No, I'm not mad about anything. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I love his brother, too. | ||
| Kenan's cool as shit. | ||
| Kenan's the nicest guy ever. | ||
| I know them, too, but I don't know them as well. | ||
| Kenan's super cool. | ||
| He's always been a real down-earth guy, too. | ||
| I mean, they have comedy bones, like all of those guys. | ||
| I mean, I work with Marlon, and he is so funny. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| But the whole family. | ||
| I mean, imagine a family that has that much stand-up in him. | ||
| I mean, that's bananas. | ||
| I mean, the Rock family, too. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Jordan, Tony, and obviously Chris. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, Tony's another one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Goddamn that dude's funny. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Goddamn he's funny. | ||
| I've never seen him live, but he's... | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I only get to when I look like him. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| He's one of those guys that, because he's Chris Rock's brother, people almost look past him. | ||
| You know, like, oh, you're Chris Rock's brother. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You're the other Rock. | ||
| Like, dude, forget all that. | ||
| That guy's a murderer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He fucking kills. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| He's just funny, man. | ||
| He's just, and he's, it's like sharp, good writing, you know, good solid punchlines. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| His pacing. | ||
| He's like a legit killer. | ||
| He's a legit killer. | ||
| Dude, the last time I saw him, he was in the main room in the Comedy Store, and I walked into the back because there was roars. | ||
| And it was Tony Rock. | ||
| And Tony Rock was murdering. | ||
| I mean murdering. | ||
| Damn, you could hear it in the hallway, that hallway roar when someone just really hits a high note. | ||
| I walked in like, damn! | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| Everybody's always talking about Tony Rock in the community. | ||
| I mean, he's a monster. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| I gotta check him out. | ||
| He would be so much more famous if he wasn't Chris Rock's brother. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You believe that? | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| He's a fucking top ten murderer. | ||
| I think that it's one of those things where if your brother is one of the greatest comics of all time, not just a great comic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Your brother's Chris Rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I mean, come on. | ||
| He's got niggas versus black people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| And everybody knows that bit. | ||
| Everybody knows that bit. | ||
| He's one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| If that's your brother, Oh, people don't want to pay attention to you. | ||
| You know, it's a weird thing, man. | ||
| They're just like, hey, yeah, yeah, can you get me your brother's number? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's the gift and the curse, though, yeah. | ||
| But I'm Tony Rock, and I kill, too. | ||
| I probably kill, you know. | ||
| Charlie used to have a bit about it. | ||
| Charlie used to have a bit. | ||
| He goes, they said, Charlie, do you get mad at people yelling out Charlie Murphy? | ||
| You know, because everybody's like, Charlie Murphy! | ||
| That was like a thing people would do with him if you were hanging out with Charlie. | ||
| He goes, no, I'm just glad they're not calling me Eddie Murphy's brother anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Imagine how Ray J feels. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Brandy's brother. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You never saw the tape. | ||
| I did. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You saw the tape. | ||
| Yeah, everybody had to see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was much watch TV. Yeah, it's super important. | |
| It is in pop culture, you're right. | ||
| You're a star. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's gotta be weird, man, to have someone like that that's a brother, that's a person who's like, like if you're Mike Tyson's brother, you know, real good heavyweight boxer. | ||
| Tony Tyson? | ||
| Yeah, but you're Mike Tyson's brother. | ||
| Yeah, and you can't, yeah. | ||
| Like, I get knockouts too! | ||
| Like, eh, but you're not like Mike, bro. | ||
| Yeah, you're just judged at a totally different standard. | ||
| But I don't think that's the case with the Wayans Brothers. | ||
| The Wayans Brothers is generally accepted that they're all really talented. | ||
| Yeah, they're all really good. | ||
| They're all super successful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kim, too. | ||
| Yeah, all of them. | ||
| Now you have Shantae, Damien, all those guys. | ||
| Crazy comedy family. | ||
| Craig, yeah. | ||
| It's in their DNA. Predisposed to being funny. | ||
| Well, it's also like, that's the family business, which is, you know, some people, they make boots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or they cater, you know, or they work delis. | ||
| Man, I was just in Italy. | ||
| Like, when you see, like, these little small family businesses, small family restaurants, like, people that work there... | ||
| You know, the father's the owner, and the daughter's the manager, and the mom works in the kitchen. | ||
| It's like, wow, this is crazy. | ||
| They still do that. | ||
| Family businesses, yeah. | ||
| That was always a thing, right? | ||
| You remember, like, family businesses on the East Coast. | ||
| Now it's, like, so rare that people, they wear it like a badge of honor. | ||
| Look, it's a family business. | ||
| Like, all businesses used to be family businesses. | ||
| No, everything went corporate, though. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| There's certain places where that's not the case, though. | ||
| You gotta really appreciate. | ||
| There's one of the things you appreciate about going to Italy. | ||
| There's just a bunch of little places. | ||
| I mean, they have nice stores, like if you're in Gucci shit and stuff like that. | ||
| They have nice stores. | ||
| But the restaurants and all the places where you buy things, they're like people's shops. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're not boutiques. | ||
| They're just like, yeah, I go to Craig's or I go to Tiffany's. | ||
| It's not Target or Walgreens or Sears. | ||
| There's no corporate to it. | ||
| It's just families. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| That keeps the money in the household, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It makes it real familial. | ||
| It actually works out. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| And that's also why I say, like, I'm not real big into the reparations talk for black people. | ||
| I mean, I don't really know the ins and outs of it. | ||
| People keep saying, like, we need it. | ||
| Get ready for Twitter hate. | ||
| I'm saying this. | ||
| I'm saying, how about we incentivize parenting? | ||
| But can you do that? | ||
| If you're watching your kids, instead of like, they're just out there, because I mean, like, let's say, is reparations talk about, I don't know, infrastructure in black communities? | ||
| And if that's the case, well then let's incentivize keeping the parents there, keeping the parents together. | ||
| Or, if they're split up, it's just like, if you guys are teaching your kid, and he's in school every day, or he survives, you know, eight years without a school shooting... | ||
| Every family gets, like, you know, a big bonus, you know? | ||
| Or if he makes the honor roll, you know, like, you guys get this. | ||
| It's like you'd really be investing in your investments. | ||
| Like, they say it takes 18 years to make it back on your investment of your child. | ||
| If you're incentivizing them to go to school and for education, it's going to make better people and a better society. | ||
| That seems good on paper. | ||
| No, if you're saying incentivize, how would you incentivize them? | ||
| It's always good to encourage people to be successful. | ||
| So your kid tests well on some of these aptitude tests, right? | ||
| Then you get a stipend or something like that. | ||
| What are these reparations we're talking about exactly? | ||
| I don't really know the ins and outs of it, but if it's about infrastructure of black communities, I'm so into it. | ||
| But it's also, let's incentivize being in the child's life. | ||
| Because for a lot of the reasons these kids are depressed and they feel like they have a chip on their shoulder because nobody's home watching them and they go to these gangs and they go to these other things, right? | ||
| Because they're just not being watched. | ||
| Right, but I think the idea behind reparations is that some people... | ||
| At one point in time, we're profiting off of slavery. | ||
| Those people have used that money, and that money has become a part of really large businesses, many, many large businesses. | ||
| Oh, we're talking about taking from businesses? | ||
| Well, that's where reparations would have to come from, in my mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| General Electric, fucking, yeah, give me $1,500. | ||
| That's one that I think directly should be, like, you have to wonder, like, if you made money, like, what if you used to sell babies? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You had a baby selling business. | ||
| You sold babies, right? | ||
| And then your grandson inherited all your money from selling babies. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But the grandson's cool. | ||
| I mean, he just goes golfing and he's not a criminal. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| But is it fine? | ||
| Because didn't his money come from baby selling? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Let's chase this money. | ||
| It started out, it was this much money, and then your dad got that, and then his dad got that. | ||
| How many generations? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you're saying that families who are known plantation owners should have to pay that money back to the black community? | ||
| Where did it go? | ||
| Where'd the money go? | ||
| What was it used for? | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| I mean, it's only 100 years ago. | ||
| It's 1865. Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not that long ago. | |
| That's so recent. | ||
| We're just giving it to anybody that's on the census that says they're black, right? | ||
| If I'm 8% black, I'm going to get how much of this, you know, the Jones plantation, you know, fortune. | ||
| I'm not saying that I'm saying that what the the smart thing to do would be to figure out what damage was like if they really objectively looked at what damage was done to communities where Slavery existed for, I mean, how many hundreds of years in this country before it was 400 years! | ||
| Hundreds of years, right? | ||
| And then it ends. | ||
| And then these people live in these cities and they're discriminated against and they're locked up. | ||
| They would sort of... | ||
| One thing that I learned about, who was telling us about this, that they would disproportionately arrest black men for all sorts of different crimes? | ||
| The Reconstruction era is the worst era for black people in America. | ||
| It's not so much slavery as it is the Reconstruction era, because then people are just mad that black people are here. | ||
| Yeah, well, they were also arresting them for, like, small crimes and making them work in prison. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Kidnapping people, yeah, making them indentured servants. | ||
| It's just another form of slavery. | ||
| It's like through this weird loophole. | ||
| Like, we can make you a slave again. | ||
| We just arrest you for hanging out in the street, and then we put you in this factory and you have to do this for us. | ||
| We make nothing. | ||
| It's basically the same thing as slavery. | ||
| When you find out what they make in prisons, when you go, wait a minute, they work for like 13 cents a day or whatever the fuck they get? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| They figure out how to, yeah, they're modernizing slavery. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, because somehow or another that's okay because we got them locked in a box. | ||
| Like, they're supposed to be punished, right? | ||
| They're supposed to be rehabilitated and taken off the street, but we're going to make them work for no money. | ||
| I know. | ||
| The white man's so smart. | ||
| Why don't we, like, black guys, we've got to start making white guys work for us. | ||
| Why don't we do the same thing? | ||
| We're just so smart. | ||
| Well, all the areas that were affected by that in the 50s and the 60s, there's a residual effect that has never been addressed. | ||
| Like, the government has never said, we've got to figure out how to make these spots better, because the reason why they're so fucked up is because slavery was there. | ||
| And then the subsequent race riots in the 60s, and this quest to... | ||
| Figure out what to do with those sort of stop short There's not like like like Baltimore and places like that like Detroit Southside Chicago would just murder every year. | ||
| We just accept high numbers High numbers of murder, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's Westside Chicago. | ||
| Is that where it all goes down? | ||
| I mean Southside Westside they're but they're just really poor areas But it's also like how these guys getting guns. | ||
| Yeah If you can drive around you can get a gun and that's another yeah I just don't know. | ||
| Like, you have money for guns, but you don't have money to like, I don't know, you know, get a backpack and go to school. | ||
| Well, also, if you see that around you all the time, the problem is you become a part of that world. | ||
| If everyone's got a gun and everybody's shooting at everybody and you don't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you better get one. | ||
| You better get a fucking gun. | ||
| They're going to try to shoot at you. | ||
| You got to shoot back. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| We're all shooting? | ||
| Yeah, you live in a war zone, bro. | ||
| Go get a gun. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's not a war zone in terms of its official designation by the government, but it's a war zone. | ||
| These are undeclared wars. | ||
| People are shooting at each other. | ||
| They're warring each other. | ||
| Hatfields and McCoy, it's a war. | ||
| It's a civil war. | ||
| It's like warring tribes. | ||
| We have that in fucking Siberia right now, I bet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How about the Siberian gang fights? | ||
| Yeah, but that's also... | ||
| It's everywhere. | ||
| That's depression. | ||
| And that's another thing classism does. | ||
| It's like, they're telling you to kill yourself because you're just poor and you don't know what to do. | ||
| And it's like, but that's not true. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I'm a black guy like you guys, and I got family members who are in gangs like that, and it sucks down there. | ||
| They're so depressed because of what they say, and they don't know how to get out of it. | ||
| Yeah, and they don't see any pathway, and they don't see anybody who's gotten out of it, so they feel like they're stuck. | ||
| There's a lot of kids that grow up in bad situations. | ||
| They feel inferior. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, they feel inferior because of the clothes they wear or how much money their family has. | ||
| But then how do you empower those kids? | ||
| I think through activities. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think getting those kids involved in things that they can get good at, that show that they have value, and that with hard work comes rewards. | ||
| I mean, some of the greatest success stories in this country are professional athletes coming out of impoverished neighborhoods, and they become these global superstars. | ||
| Right, but then they stay in their kids' lives, though, don't they? | ||
| Some of them do. | ||
| but it's like you can't you can't fix all that's taken place no you have to sort of figure out how to how to improve the way people look at life the way people interface with life | ||
| it's very hard if you're trying to do that but all around you is violence and crime and fear and your levels are all jacked up because you're in the hood and that that's not been addressed like a serious health problem in this country. | ||
| It's like even an infrastructure problem. | ||
| We just sort of accept the fact that it is an infrastructure problem. | ||
| So if we're going to put money back, if we're going to repair these black communities, put money in the infrastructure, but also you've got to incentivize parents to be there, right? | ||
| I think it's a good idea. | ||
| I like what you're saying because you're not punishing them. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're just incentivizing. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm not saying we shouldn't get money just for being black. | ||
| I'm saying we've got to keep the parents there because that builds a strong community. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| I don't know a whole lot about Kamala Harris, but I do know that she's a very powerful, well-spoken lady. | ||
| But she was talking once about this thing that they did where they had these parents be responsible for their kids' truancy. | ||
| And so they could go to jail. | ||
| Like, the idea was, make sure this is correct. | ||
| Make sure this is correct, Jamie. | ||
| Because I think the thing they were saying was they were going to have cops go to visit when a kid had been truant. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And they would sort of threaten the mother that she's responsible for the child's truancy. | ||
| The mother is not the father. | ||
| Well, whoever was there, the single mother, in this case, this one case they were talking about specifically. | ||
| And that this lady had to figure out a way to get her fucking son to show up at school. | ||
| Hey, I could go to jail. | ||
| You know, and did it work? | ||
| I'm sure it worked, right? | ||
| I'm sure everyone was probably terrified. | ||
| But is that really what we want in America? | ||
| We want people to be scared that you might go to jail if your kid doesn't go to school. | ||
| So if the kid doesn't go to school, you're going to lock someone in a cage? | ||
| That is so threatening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, exactly. | |
| That's so authoritative. | ||
| There's also homeschool, you know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, just because he's enrolled, it's almost like, you know, maybe I took him to sick day. | ||
| Yeah, but if you want to do homeschooling things, I think you have to fill out paperwork, you apply for it, you have to let them know that you're withdrawing your kids from the school system, I think. | ||
| Right, but how many truancies is this? | ||
| Is this his first one? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it your first time offender? | ||
| I don't care if it was a hundred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If someone's saying they're going to lock you in jail because your kid doesn't go to school, that's bananas. | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| He's 16, or whatever the fuck he is. | ||
| When you were 16, I was a latchkey kid. | ||
| When I was 14, I was out and gone. | ||
| We lived in a different time, though, Joe. | ||
| I know, but he's still kids. | ||
| There's two genders. | ||
| Race is race. | ||
| It's different for us. | ||
| That's the only thing that bothers me. | ||
| That just drives me crazy. | ||
| The idea of the way you fix things is by scaring people and locking them up. | ||
| That's how the gulags start, man. | ||
| That's that's really that's how that's how the Soviet Union becomes this true fucking Empire of authoritarian What's up? | ||
| The jail sentences of some parents in multiple counties were, in quotes, what she said, an unintended consequence of a statewide law. | ||
| But I'm looking further into this in... | ||
| This is from the Los Angeles Times. | ||
| Well, it was a speech actually that she gave where she explained how she did it and how it was effective. | ||
| She was hard on people being truant. | ||
| I think your idea, what my point was, I think that your idea is better. | ||
| Because instead of punishing people for not doing it, Incentivizes them for doing it. | ||
| And if you could set aside... | ||
| Imagine that as a project, right? | ||
| You were saying that it takes 18 years to see. | ||
| If we could fund an 18-year project where they were doing that and just incentivizing kids to succeed, and all of a sudden they just start succeeding like crazy. | ||
| What if we had a big jump? | ||
| Because it was like financially... | ||
| Like you're competing for... | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Dude, look at the AAU. By the way, look at all these guys who get popped in college for taking incentives. | ||
| It's because they're getting their parents' jobs or homes or cars. | ||
| There's another form. | ||
| There's another form right there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| College athletes. | ||
| Who's getting fucked harder than college athletes? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Who's getting fucked harder than the only thing that's interesting about the event is the athletes performing. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And they make ungotts. | ||
| They make nothing! | ||
| Yeah, they get like a 40 grand scholarship. | ||
| The school gives you the opportunity to perform here. | ||
| Everybody gets here. | ||
| You get an electrical engineering degree. | ||
| Like, everybody wants me. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Oh my God, look at this. | ||
| 2016-2017 school year, the NCAA revenue reached $1 billion with a B. $1 billion. | ||
| And they're a non-profit, right? | ||
| The athletes get un-gots. | ||
| Just like get paid to organize the sports events, really. | ||
| Hey, click on that link. | ||
| It says NCAA sports make one. | ||
| That's that business insider. | ||
| That's one of the real clickbaity. | ||
| Is that like a, what is it? | ||
| Or is it a real legit? | ||
| You just got to figure out who wrote the article. | ||
| But it's also like what, California is like, they put on a bill, right? | ||
| They're going to pay the athletes for their likeness. | ||
| They should pay them to play. | ||
| You should pay them to play. | ||
| Who are those people in the audience? | ||
| All California schools, I think. | ||
| Those people in the audience. | ||
| What do they pay for? | ||
| They're paying for entertainment. | ||
| They're paying to watch the players. | ||
| They're paying for entertainment, yeah. | ||
| They're paying to watch the game. | ||
| So how come the players don't get a piece? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why don't they do it? | ||
| Or it's like people are wearing a jersey that says my name on the back. | ||
| Why can't I get just a piece of that? | ||
| The idea is that it's not fair. | ||
| No one else gets anything for anything they do in school. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're stealing from athletes. | ||
| Well, it makes you professional because you're getting paid for your craft now. | ||
| Well, then if the athlete's going to work for free, the fucking show should be free. | ||
| It should be free tickets. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Anybody could go. | ||
| You just broke the internet. | ||
| That's what it should be. | ||
| Like, oh, okay. | ||
| We don't get any money? | ||
| Well, you don't get any money either. | ||
| We're doing it for fun? | ||
| Well, you're doing it for fun. | ||
| Dude, if games were free, holy shit. | ||
| That's how it should be. | ||
| You don't want to pay me? | ||
| Free. | ||
| Everything's free. | ||
| You can't charge money and keep it all, you greedy fucks. | ||
| That'd be the worst audience, by the way. | ||
| The free audience is the worst audience. | ||
| You know what the weird thing about colleges is the dudes who've graduated and they're rich now and they donate money. | ||
| Keep that football program alive, Wilson. | ||
| They give you a fucking stack. | ||
| They're investing in their community, player. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| Like, Jamie loves Columbus teams. | ||
| Anything from Columbus, he gets a boner for. | ||
| He gets super... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Stay away from this one. | ||
| Are you watching the basketball tournament? | ||
| There's stuff going on at Ohio State with the Epstein shit. | ||
| They've invested a lot of money at Ohio State, and they're trying to figure out if they need to give it back or not. | ||
| Oh, did he go to Ohio State? | ||
| He didn't, but he's involved in Columbus business, and so they've given a lot of money to this football team. | ||
| Have they determined that his... | ||
| That his money, like how his money was made? | ||
| Through sex trafficking? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like Epstein's money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I know he was managing that one guy's money. | ||
| I mean, how much from sex trafficking? | ||
| Because that would make him a plantation owner. | ||
| Like, in a sense, right? | ||
| Because he's like, he's giving out flesh, he's getting paid for flesh. | ||
| What was his, allegedly what he did was he would find young girls and get them to give massages. | ||
| And they'd be like, you guys should, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Getting my tribe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The prosecutor. | ||
| I don't know how mad you are. | ||
| The prosecutor had a real creepy way of describing it, too. | ||
| He said that he thought it was impossible for him to control. | ||
| That his impulses were impossible for him to control, and he was a great flight risk. | ||
| So they didn't want him to have... | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| So his therapist was saying this. | ||
| So they're trying to protect him, but it's also like, are they trying to cure him? | ||
| See if that quote is true, because I'm pretty high right now. | ||
| The prosecutor said that the Epstein fellow had impulses that were impossible to control. | ||
| That's how he felt. | ||
| But a lot of those guys, they say that, right? | ||
| Even like the Jared, all the guys say that. | ||
| That's the thing, apparently, about pedophiles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that the recidivism rate's so high. | ||
| When they get... | ||
| If they do go to jail and then they get released, boy, man, they do it again. | ||
| Right, because I got away. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| I can deal with that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not just that. | |
| I think they're broken. | ||
| I think it's like a... | ||
| You know that screen that was just all fucked up? | ||
| That's them. | ||
| That's them. | ||
| It's a glitch, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| I don't think we should assume that... | ||
| If your brain is working well and your body is working well, you just can't assume that everybody's is. | ||
| But then it's also like, you feel bad for... | ||
| We feel guys who are born with severe cerebral palsy, right? | ||
| In a sense, that's what's happening to them. | ||
| They can't control this urge, but then it's also how do you fix that instead of shaming them. | ||
| Right, and a lot of it is apparently a lot of pedophilia is brought through sexual trauma, right? | ||
| So if someone is molested as a young child, apparently there's a higher likelihood that they can... | ||
| So it's like the HIV virus. | ||
| It's just, you're breaking someone's wiring, like the wiring to the way they interface with the world at a young age, and you're fucking up their life in a horrible way. | ||
| They say that about Michael Jackson, right? | ||
| It's like he got touched early, so then it was like he was using that as like, hey, this is normal to me. | ||
| Yeah, what did he ever allege happened to him? | ||
| Did he ever explain what happened to him? | ||
| No. | ||
| There was something where he was talking about how he had all the surgery so he didn't have to look like his father. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's also... | ||
| It could also be that... | ||
| So he was scared of his father. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And every time he looked in the mirror, he saw his father. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man in the mirror. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think that's what it's about. | ||
| I don't think that's what it's about. | ||
| It's not about Joe Jackson. | ||
| I think it's about getting your shit together. | ||
| They also say because he bought the Beatles catalog that that's a smear campaign and they paid those kids off to say that about him. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| It's a great conspiracy theory. | ||
| I think people are... | ||
| You know, they're crazy if they think it's normal for a guy to have a bunch of kids sleep in his bed. | ||
| He was weird! | ||
| You know, Mike was on drugs! | ||
| Off the charts bananas that anybody would let their kid stay there. | ||
| Off the charts bananas. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Also, Mike was off the charts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had so many hits. | ||
| The more hits you have, the more shit you can get away with until eventually... | ||
| It says, okay, Berman's dismissed a request for bail because Epstein's impulses are not likely to have abated or been successfully suppressed. | ||
| That's not exactly. | ||
| That makes more sense. | ||
| I paraphrased hard. | ||
| Is the Florida governor? | ||
| That's how rumors get started. | ||
| So this is in Florida. | ||
| You can get away with anything there. | ||
| You used to be able to. | ||
| They're tightening it down on Florida. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Look, Florida. | ||
| 2019, it took you this long? | ||
| Well, Florida was the place where the pain pill mills existed, where they have the management centers, the pain management centers, right next to an OxyContin store. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| So you go to the doctor, you tell me, my back's killing me. | ||
| The doctor's like, you need pain pills. | ||
| I do need pain pills. | ||
| Just write a piece of paper, and then you would literally go to the next door over, and it was the building connected to them that sells the pain pills. | ||
| They'd have it in the same spot sometimes. | ||
| That's like cocaine country too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody's so fucking high in Florida. | ||
| Dude, Florida's crazy. | ||
| It's got a history of high. | ||
| I feel like the chaos of the 80s, of all the cocaine, is burned into the psyche of the landmass. | ||
| And then the alligators moved in. | ||
| It made it even more reptilian. | ||
| It made it more reptilian? | ||
| When I was a kid, I lived there. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| I lived in Gainesville. | ||
| Gainesville, Florida. | ||
| That's North Florida, right? | ||
| North? | ||
| I don't know if it's North. | ||
| Is it North? | ||
| Sort of-ish? | ||
| Middle-ish? | ||
| Sort of middle? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, we were around alligators, but they were endangered back then. | ||
| So they would tell you, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They thought of them as endangered. | ||
| People are so silly. | ||
| They're like, we have to protect these fucking monsters that are around us. | ||
| We have to. | ||
| And when I was there, uh, some ladies poodle got snatched. | ||
| I think it was a poodle. | ||
| It was a small dog got snatched by an alligator while I was there. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't see it happen, but I came after it happened and people were all freaked out. | ||
| And they were telling you to stop feeding the marshmallows. | ||
| We would feed alligators marshmallows. | ||
| And they'd keep coming back. | ||
| Well, the thing is they liked the marshmallows. | ||
| So you knew if you threw the marshmallows, the alligator would come up and eat it. | ||
| And they got used to eating marshmallows. | ||
| And then there was signs. | ||
| They said, don't have the alligators eat marshmallows because it's apparently bad for their digestive system and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| They can shit everywhere? | ||
| They can eat a whole dog with a collar on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's better for their digestion. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| It's spitting out the dog's collar. | ||
| It's swallowing that collar. | ||
| It's going to shit out that metal buckle. | ||
| You really think a marshmallow is going to stop? | ||
| So this attitude that they had that they wanted to bring back the alligator, it was a good thing because they really were on the verge of extinction. | ||
| But then it became the opposite. | ||
| So now alligators are everywhere. | ||
| So now alligators are everywhere. | ||
| People find them in their house. | ||
| They find them in their pool. | ||
| They're snatching people up. | ||
| They become rats. | ||
| Like rats in New York. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| Did you see that one that was really recently filmed walking across a golf course? | ||
| No. | ||
| It is a dinosaur. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's 15 feet long. | ||
| I do love the gator, though. | ||
| I fucking love the gator, though. | ||
| It's an awesome animal. | ||
| Yeah, it really is. | ||
| It's an awesome animal. | ||
| See if you can find the video, the video of the giant alligator. | ||
| And they said, by the way, that this alligator is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 years old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's 80 years old. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| 80 years old. | ||
| That's an 80-year-old alligator. | ||
| God. | ||
| He never experienced any kind of racism or Jim Crow laws. | ||
| They're just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Walking through... | ||
| Eating machine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good for them. | ||
| But here it is. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| You weren't lying. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's 80 years old? | ||
| That's an 80-year-old alligator. | ||
| He's moving kind of fresh. | ||
| They say the ones that are really big, when they get to be that 15-foot length, a lot of those are really old. | ||
| 50, 60, 80. No arthritis. | ||
| I mean, God. | ||
| My friend shot one, and it was more than 80 years old. | ||
| Shout out to John Dudley. | ||
| That is a dinosaur. | ||
| That is a goddamn dinosaur. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That means... | ||
| Rewind that again, because we're both super high. | ||
| I mean, what is he even doing? | ||
| Imagine seeing that. | ||
| Brian Moses. | ||
| You're in your yard. | ||
| You're chilling, hanging out, on your phone, got your feet up, and you see that walking across your yard. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta get the fuck out of Florida. | ||
| You're like, how close is that to me? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I mean, that's super dope. | ||
| I mean, look at that thing. | ||
| He's got a scab there, too. | ||
| How much do you think that weighs? | ||
| Let's go half a ton. | ||
| 500 pounds? | ||
| I think a thousand easy. | ||
| Did you see the guy's fishing? | ||
| That's a 500, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I am high. | ||
| He's reeling in a big-ass fish, and the gator wants it, and starts chasing him on land, and the guy's like, get the fuck out of the way, get out of the way. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It's a thousand-pound gator. | ||
| It's not that big, but it's big. | ||
| That's a lot of church shoes. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| It's a lot of church shoes. | ||
| These things, they live amongst us, and they eat dogs, and they eat deer, and everything else they can get their hands. | ||
| They have to eat a lot of food to maintain that fucking mass. | ||
| Is this it? | ||
| So the guy, oh my god, he's got the fish. | ||
| Oh, he's got a fish. | ||
| He pulls it in, the gator's chasing him. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Oh, fuck, man. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Look how agile he is. | ||
| For 80? | ||
| Dude, they move quick. | ||
| I don't know who knows how old that one is. | ||
| That could be a younger one. | ||
| Oh, he's stealing this dude's fish. | ||
| Yeah, keep the fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He's got robbed for his fish. | ||
| He just got jacked. | ||
| That does not look like a crocodile. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say that doesn't look like an alligator. | ||
| That's a crocodile. | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| Crocodiles have like a pointier snout and they're way more aggressive. | ||
| Okay, so don't fuck with a croc. | ||
| Alligators are better. | ||
| Yeah, oh my god, they're better. | ||
| If there was as many crocodiles as there are alligators in Florida, way more people would be getting jacked. | ||
| Oh, so croc is, okay, whoa. | ||
| Crocs will fuck everybody up. | ||
| Crocs do not discriminate. | ||
| They get water buffaloes, people, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're real aggressive, too. | ||
| There was this one video of... | ||
| They had an alligator farm, and they were raising alligators, and then they had one crocodile. | ||
| And so when it came time to feeding, the one crocodile was like, bitch, down! | ||
| Sit the fuck down! | ||
| Climbing on top of these alligators. | ||
| Like roosters and hens. | ||
| Yeah, but he was on the top of all the alligators. | ||
| Fuck the fuck off of here! | ||
| And just took control and was getting the food. | ||
| Way more aggressive. | ||
| Will a crocodile eat an alligator? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| They eat each other. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| Which one's a caiman? | ||
| Where's a caiman from? | ||
| That's a crocodile, but it's a very small crocodile. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Caimans are small. | ||
| They live in the Amazon. | ||
| Have you eaten crocodile? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or a gator? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was an alligator. | ||
| I had it at a place that was like a fucking TGI Fridays type joint, and it wasn't the best. | ||
| It wasn't TGI Fridays, but it was one of the Applebee's type places. | ||
| Right, like a chain that serves gator. | ||
| And it wasn't fresh, but apparently when you get it fresh, right off the gator, it's supposed to be really good. | ||
| I think any meat could be like that, you know what I mean? | ||
| Even rat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the alligator thing is like, did you eat the gator? | ||
| Yeah, we did. | ||
| We went crazy. | ||
| What a weekend. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, my brother and sister live down there, and my brother got a gun pulled on them. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, by like a delivery driver. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| So, my brother is a little baby, my little niece, and they're with her. | ||
| It's my brother and her in the back. | ||
| And then... | ||
| He's driving us in the neighborhood. | ||
| He's going on the speed limit, right? | ||
| Like maybe like five to ten miles an hour, maybe a little slower. | ||
| And there's a delivery driver behind him. | ||
| Delivery driver gets mad, starts honking at him, is behind him, right? | ||
| My brother-in-law pulls into their driveway. | ||
| Delivery driver pulls him behind him and is like, what do you want to do, man? | ||
| And it flashes a gun on him. | ||
| And my brother, who's like, he's as big as you, he's like a bodybuilder. | ||
| And he was like, I don't want to do anything, man. | ||
| He's like, I just want to know why you're honking at me. | ||
| I got my daughter in the back. | ||
| You know, she's like, less than a year old. | ||
| And the guy's just like, I'm not making this a race thing! | ||
| And he's like, I'm not saying this is a race thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's just like, well, because my brother was in the military, and he kept calling the guy sir. | ||
| And the guy's like, you calling me sir? | ||
| Are you in the military? | ||
| And he's just like, I am, sir. | ||
| I am in the military. | ||
| And he's just like, well, you're disgraced in the military. | ||
| And he's just like, I just went slow enough because my daughter's in the back and you're behind me. | ||
| So he's like, I don't understand what the deal is here. | ||
| And the guy just kept trying to egg him on to try to provoke a fight because they're standing your ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, when I heard about it, I was terrified. | ||
| My sister was shook. | ||
| She had to come home from work because it's like, you know, the baby's in the back and this guy just pulled up into your driveway and he's just like, if Quincy would have made a move and that guy shot him, that guy would have been on the right. | ||
| How much of that's going on? | ||
| It's probably happening all the time. | ||
| Look what happened to Trayvon. | ||
| That's a uniquely incompetent security guard, too, though. | ||
| I mean, he was getting smashed. | ||
| He's getting his head bounced off the curb. | ||
| By a 15-year-old, right. | ||
| That kid was fucking him up when he pulled that gun out. | ||
| That happened in Florida, too. | ||
| Wasn't that in a parking lot, right? | ||
| Where a guy thought he was being threatened by a dude with his kids in the car, and then he shot the guy. | ||
| There's a parking lot in Florida. | ||
| I don't know that one. | ||
| I think that happened either last year or something, but that's definitely a recent one. | ||
| People just having guns all the time seems like a great idea, but people like that having guns. | ||
| That's when it becomes a problem. | ||
| Somebody knows that you don't have a gun, and they're trying to goad you into something so they can shoot you like an outlaw Josie Wales movie. | ||
| That's not someone defending themselves. | ||
| That's the weapon. | ||
| That's why guns are creepy. | ||
| It's not creepy because a guy like you has a gun. | ||
| You're a great guy. | ||
| You're not going to rob anybody. | ||
| I don't need a gun either. | ||
| You wouldn't have a gun. | ||
| But if you did have a gun, I wouldn't be nervous. | ||
| I'd be like, well, Moses has a gun. | ||
| He can handle it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not looking at... | ||
| There's some people that aren't good guys, right? | ||
| If those not good guys get a gun... | ||
| This was the one he was talking about where the guy was... | ||
| It's a big stand-your-ground case. | ||
| He was on the ground with his hands up. | ||
| And he got shot still. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because the guy said he felt threatened or something, I believe. | ||
| That's all they need is a reason, dude. | ||
| That's all they need is a reason to Florida. | ||
| He's on the ground on his knees and the guy shot him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I mean, when do you not shoot someone? | ||
| Are you willing to shoot them if they flattened out? | ||
| I thought it was always like if somebody's attacking you, I thought. | ||
| I mean, you're on the offense. | ||
| Do you have to flatten out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you have to offer them money. | ||
| Please don't shoot me. | ||
| Yeah, here's how much I think my life is. | ||
| When would you accuse him? | ||
| I mean, if he shot the guy while the guy was flattened out, what about then? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Do you think they'd have the same reaction? | ||
| Because the reaction they had when they saw him with his hands up on his knees... | ||
| I think they'd still be mad, yeah. | ||
| I don't know how mad you are with a gun in your hand, with a weapon in your hand, to be like, I'm playing God right now to this guy. | ||
| I can kill this man right now, or this person right here. | ||
| So yeah, I don't think it would matter. | ||
| Would they accuse him? | ||
| What I'm saying is, would they accuse him? | ||
| Because he got away with it, right? | ||
| No, he was accused though, right? | ||
| He wasn't charged for this. | ||
| They didn't charge him? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| The guy that he shot? | ||
| He wasn't arrested yet. | ||
| He's deciding to stay in your ground law. | ||
| I'm reading right here from the AP. Sheriff won't arrest parking lot shooter. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Oh, so they can't even charge him? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| They're not going to charge him. | ||
| You can't challenge that rule? | ||
| Like in football? | ||
| That's not a red flag? | ||
| He said he felt threatened. | ||
| And the black guy was just like, dude, I was on the ground and there's closed circuit footage of it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| My question was, what if he had lied down? | ||
| Lied down flat on the ground? | ||
| Would then he be... | ||
| I mean, when would they... | ||
| What would the line be where they decide to charge him? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| They don't charge a guy when he's on his knees. | ||
| Okay, will you charge him when he's lying down? | ||
| If the guy's lying down, you just execute him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Does that still stand your ground? | ||
| There is a manslaughter trial, apparently now, updated as of June 18th. | ||
| Manslaughter? | ||
| Oh, he killed that guy. | ||
| They're looking to call the sheriff as a defense witness. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| There's certain people that shouldn't have a gun, right? | ||
| Now, there's certain people, a lot of seasoned law enforcement people and people with good dispositions that would never, in their fucking wildest dreams, shoot someone who was on their knees, would never threaten anybody with a gun, and they have a gun purely for self-defense. | ||
| That's a different thing. | ||
| Everybody can have a gun. | ||
| You're gonna get a certain number of those fucking guys. | ||
| And they think they're in the right. | ||
| Yeah, I think we all got to get guns. | ||
| I mean, like, is that not the move? | ||
| Do we not all get guns? | ||
| This is America. | ||
| We can be racist and have guns and be on drugs. | ||
| Well, you have to be on drugs now. | ||
| It's new. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's going to come to a point in time. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| How scary are you of your kids to go to school now? | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you have children, you're very vulnerable, you know? | ||
| You feel more filled with love than ever before, but you also feel more filled with fear because you're worried. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the things that the Romans always knew. | ||
| So make people have families. | ||
| You can control them if they have families. | ||
| Oh, that's fucking powerful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can control your families. | ||
| You can't control young dudes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Young dudes with swords. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who are single. | ||
| You want them to get shacked up and have kids. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That way they stop doing that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you got to kill somebody's kids every now and then. | ||
| Keep them in line. | ||
| Jesus, Joe. | ||
| And that's what they did. | ||
| Bro, I mean, that's what they did. | ||
| They did that from time-honored tradition. | ||
| You kill somebody's kid to keep them in line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They've done it in the mafia. | ||
| They've done it with a lot of people. | ||
| I mean, it's always been something that people do to put fear in people. | ||
| You get people to, when you have a lot more to lose when you have a family, they look at it that way. | ||
| There's certain people that, I mean, when you study how to get people to listen to you and to behave and how to strike fear into populace, that's why they don't want abortion laws. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Wow, that's deep. | ||
| If there is someone that is really thinking, we need to make sure that people have families so that they'll be more vulnerable. | ||
| If there is someone that is following that philosophy, which is not my thought. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You said the Romans said that. | ||
| But it's been around forever. | ||
| This is like a commonly thought of... | ||
| Humans born, they think that we have to keep families to keep them in line. | ||
| Well, when you talk about authoritarian figures, like people that want to have an iron fist to control the population, the last thing you want is a bunch of young single guys running around with no attachments. | ||
| Because that's how coups get successfully completed. | ||
| A bunch of young mercenaries just decide to take over your fucking building, expendable style, and shoot everybody. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| Yeah, because they have nothing to lose. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You want a guy who loves his wife, and loves his kids, and he's got... | ||
| Yeah, he's got something to lose, and that's how you keep a society in order. | ||
| And that's why you shouldn't be getting rid of babies. | ||
| No condoms, no babies. | ||
| No birth control, no babies. | ||
| If someone really was plotting out a culture that way, like really masterminding it and really saying that, not just knowing that it is the case that people do change when they have children, but then doing this and promoting this on purpose, specifically to control people. | ||
| If that was the case... | ||
| Yeah, they would do that. | ||
| They would do that too. | ||
| They would work against abortion because they would want more people to have more kids so that they can control them. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Well good. | ||
| Crazy to think that way. | ||
| But it would only be like one factor. | ||
| I think the major factor is religion. | ||
| Because if you are pro-life and a candidate is pro-choice, In your mind, a lot of times people decide that that person is against, like, God's law. | ||
| That person wants to kill children. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So they almost feel like compelled to vote You know to vote against you if you're pro-choice I know but like are they thinking about Well, you know what if this mother doesn't raise this child now you have this you know This mother who's resentful of this child that she had that you guys made her have And this child who's you know this loveless child now and they both you know she's got mental illness He's got mental illness because you know he's looking for his mother's love She's like this kid ruined my dreams, you know and This husband didn't stay, that kind of thing. | ||
| And you're making these communities, you know, depressed and sad, you know? | ||
| And then you guys who said, no, you have to have that. | ||
| You're not raising this kid, you know? | ||
| You're not putting money in this family's pocket. | ||
| All these things you're saying are true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of those things where you could see two... | ||
| Two distinct patterns, but infinite different varieties of the world sucks because the baby was born, or the world is amazing because the baby's born. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Tim Tebow says that, you know? | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true, though. | |
| Tim Tebow's awesome. | ||
| It's true with all... | ||
| I mean, you never know. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| But it's whose decision should it be and what is it? | ||
| That's the real question. | ||
| Like, what is abortion? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Is it killing a baby or is it a medical procedure? | ||
| Like, which one is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| It's a slippery slope. | ||
| That's where the debate falls in pro-choice or pro-life. | ||
| It's not that these pro-choice people are evil people. | ||
| No. | ||
| They just don't want anybody dictating. | ||
| I mean, it's not like an evil organization that's Right. | ||
| right that's what it is they want to be able to make the choice themselves but then there's other people that are pro-life and specifically the more militant ones which you know have assassinated abortion doctors i mean there are there are people that firmly believe that even if it's just a couple of days old right it's a baby right and that any sort of procedure to stop that in its place is murder you're murdering a baby and there's no if ands or buts about it | ||
| and it's like the way they look at the the loony left and that they they buy into this bullshit and right you know that that Thank you. | ||
| That's a narrative that, you know, that's how they really believe. | ||
| And people demonize people on both sides of it, as if they're so different. | ||
| And there's no way you could ever think any differently than the way you're thinking it right now. | ||
| No, I think you broke it down just like, is it a medical procedure? | ||
| Or is it, you know, the other way? | ||
| And I think that's hard to get into. | ||
| It is fucking very hard. | ||
| I mean, we'll be debating that until the end of time. | ||
| Well, it's one of the most human subjects because it shows how complicated shit really is. | ||
| And if you try to pretend it's not, then you get into late-term abortions. | ||
| You're like, well, what's up there? | ||
| When does it get weird for you? | ||
| When does it get weird? | ||
| Is it six months? | ||
| Does it get weird then? | ||
| Look, it's weird. | ||
| I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to have an abortion or should be. | ||
| I'm not saying either of those things. | ||
| I'm just saying to deny the weirdness. | ||
| The nicest term that I could come up with is weirdness, right? | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| I had a... | ||
| I got a girl pregnant when I was a teenager, and she had an abortion. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| She had a miscarriage. | ||
| Nature's abortion. | ||
| And then she would... | ||
| I remember it was eight weeks or nine weeks, and she was flushing out chunks of what she was calling the baby. | ||
| So, I mean, that's at like eight to nine weeks, everybody. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she shouldn't have had a baby. | ||
| She was on crystal meth. | ||
| I mean, that shouldn't have happened. | ||
| So, thank whatever higher power did that for us. | ||
| But... | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's why it's so messy, and it really is messy because you don't know what is what. | ||
| It traumatized her. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| It's a crazy process that the human body goes through that men will never really understand because there's never going to be an opportunity where a body grows inside your body and then comes out of your body. | ||
| The way a woman experiences. | ||
| I mean, that's some alien shit. | ||
| Dude, women experience something that is so alien to anything that males experience. | ||
| They grow a body inside of them. | ||
| It's so different in terms of how they interface with the world. | ||
| world they have to be nurturing they want to protect the nest and keep everybody safe and they're going to have a baby inside right boom and now they have to take care of this baby and care for it and then the baby will become more people and they'll start mating and they get become adults and they're babies of their own yeah yeah these earthlings wild yeah it comes out of their body and for us man we just we just shoot loads It's so easy. | ||
| What we do when we don't have a baby and what we do when we have a baby is the exact same thing. | ||
| When you have sex with a woman and she gets impregnated, it feels like regular sex to us. | ||
| And we have sex all the time and you don't get pregnant and then all of a sudden you are. | ||
| So it's weird. | ||
| We didn't even do anything. | ||
| We just had sex. | ||
| We normally have sex. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| You had sex and now there's an extra person. | ||
| Like, whoa! | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| But there's a lot of times... | ||
| So you associate sex with pleasure. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it is, obviously. | ||
| But when you have a baby, you're like, oh, it does that? | ||
| It does that, yes. | ||
|
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|
That's what it does? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Sex does that. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| So for a man, there's no difference in what happens to his body, right? | ||
| Like, when he's having sex and a baby's conceived versus when he's having sex and nothing. | ||
| It's just fun. | ||
| There's no difference to him. | ||
| He doesn't feel a difference. | ||
| Whereas a woman, literally, her body will fucking grow. | ||
| A person inside of you... | ||
|
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|
A person with a brain that she's sharing vessels and things with. | |
| This thing's kicking inside of her. | ||
| That experience... | ||
| It'll fuck you up. | ||
| For a man, it's just, I mean, I would, I do not, like, if there was a way that you could record what it's like to be someone, and then they give you, like, a little chip, and you would slip it in there, and I could see you, like, you would allow people all of your feelings, the way your skin feels, the way your emotions are, the way your psychology is set up, you would allow people to literally be you for a couple days. | ||
| And the chip would do that? | ||
| Yeah, this chip would just sit in your head and you would be that person. | ||
| I would like to feel what it's like to be pregnant. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to feel that rip, that pain? | ||
| No, not the birth part. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I don't want the dick. | ||
| Such a straight male answer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't want to get fucked. | ||
| I don't want to get fucked. | ||
| I don't want to... | ||
| Imagine if that was the only way you could feel it. | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| But I would wonder what it would like to, first of all, be a maternal woman. | ||
| I mean, I'm really curious as to what the hormones feel like, what it must feel like. | ||
| Because I don't think we... | ||
| You know, when you see a woman, you try to understand, like, what's the world through her eyes? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're never going to... | ||
| Feel the way she feels. | ||
| I'm never going to look at somebody else and be like, oh, they can kill me right now all the time. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, that too. | ||
| That's a huge part. | ||
| But I mean, even just interfacing with the world through a different type of human body, a female human body versus a male human body in terms of like estrogen and the testosterone ratio and how your maternal instincts and oxytocin and all these different variables. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Heightened sensitivity in certain situations. | ||
| They have superpowers, actually. | ||
| You described it that way. | ||
| They're making humans. | ||
| They're making humans in their body. | ||
| And they have to make sure that everyone's safe around them. | ||
| Because every now and then, men will murder them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or rape them. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Sorry, ladies. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| When you really think about it, it's like, what a mad... | ||
| Relationship. | ||
| It's mad. | ||
| The relationship between males and females? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's mad. | ||
| That's why I always laugh at dudes who get, you know, when guys get jacked for their divorce money, it's like, come on, you're gonna be alright. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got all the terrible things that could go wrong. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's just, you just get jacked for some money. | ||
| I like that perspective, actually. | ||
| It kind of puts it on perspective. | ||
| You're just like, yeah, that's... | ||
| Nobody raped you and killed you. | ||
| Nobody raped you and killed you. | ||
| Look, people get into bad relationships. | ||
| I mean, I'm not happy that someone ever gets into a bad relationship. | ||
| But if you get into a bad relationship and she's just a gold digger, it's like, oh, God. | ||
| I've had so many friends that have been like, yeah, my fucking ex-wife, she wants more money, I've got to go to court. | ||
| I'm like, Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you can't get raped or murdered, player. | ||
| But it's like, you fucked up. | ||
| You shouldn't have married her, dummy. | ||
| You should have known. | ||
| You should have known she was crazy. | ||
| Would you rather get raped or murdered? | ||
|
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|
Raped. | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| I don't want either one. | ||
| Obviously. | ||
| But if a guy rapes me, and I'm still alive, then I get to murder him. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| You gotta think about it that way. | ||
| So you can get to murder him. | ||
| Yeah, you don't just get to murder him. | ||
| I'd rather die. | ||
| No, I don't get murdered. | ||
| I just get raped. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'll wait. | ||
| But there's like, isn't there trauma with that though, you know? | ||
| Yeah, there'll be trauma. | ||
| I'm not going to enjoy it. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be terrible. | ||
| Yeah, but it's better than being dead. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm not saying it's good. | ||
| No, but for me, as a man, as a human, I would rather be raped than murdered. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Then you go John Wick after that? | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Just so everybody fucking knows. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Don't rape me or I'll murder you. | ||
| Yeah, I'll have a new goal in life. | ||
|
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|
But you gotta say goodbye to everybody before you do it. | |
| Oh, because you're done after that. | ||
| You're not gonna stay alive. | ||
| Yeah, it's not John Wick. | ||
| John Wick just drives home. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They arrest you. | ||
| If a dude fucked you, and then you kill him, and they go to you immediately. | ||
| I go, hey, did you kill that guy who fucked you? | ||
| I mean, by the way... | ||
| Like, me? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| No! | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I mean, what does a cop say? | ||
| He's just like, dude, he raped me, though. | ||
| He's just like, ugh. | ||
| Yeah, well, you can't just murder a guy because he raped you. | ||
| OJ says there are rules, so you can't murder people. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Hey, Twitter world. | ||
| Hey, Twitter world. | ||
| Someone's got to make a shirt soon. | ||
| I wonder if he would sue you, right? | ||
| Because there's people that if you made a Conor McGregor shirt and you had some quotes on it, you were selling it, he could maybe sue you. | ||
| If you keep his face off of it, probably be alright. | ||
| Or he'd come to your house with a bunch of dudes and take all his stuff back. | ||
| But if you have a picture of OJ's face leaning into that selfie camera, it just says, Hey Twitter world! | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| It's the Twitterverse, by the way. | ||
| Because he keeps saying it. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's OJ's world. | ||
| It's a Twitter world. | ||
| He can do whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
| He did. | ||
| That shirt would be giant. | ||
| It's probably being made right now. | ||
| There's nerds that are listening to us right now. | ||
| That are going... | ||
| They're just going to hit pause right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And make... | ||
| Twitterverse. | ||
| Yeah, you just made OJ some merch. | ||
| Hey, Twitter world. | ||
| OJ's got merch. | ||
| No, he's not going to get that money. | ||
| The money all is going to go to abused women. | ||
| Good. | ||
| And waiters. | ||
| Waiters have been murdered by boyfriends. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| With a knife, too. | ||
| Personal. | ||
| They never found that knife. | ||
| They never found that knife. | ||
| Yeah, who had that knife? | ||
| I mean, damn OJ. Damn, OJ. You know, for like 70 and like an ex-convict, he looks good. | ||
| He was playing golf all day. | ||
| Was he? | ||
| That's all he does. | ||
| Even like... | ||
| He plays golf. | ||
| Goes out and plays golf. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| He seems to have at least a slight struggle with communicating. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And walking. | ||
|
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|
He seems like he's got a little slowness to his voice where he's forcing it. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Which is probably CTE. Oh, is that CTE? Yeah. | ||
| But he sounds pretty clear. | ||
| Pretty clear. | ||
| Pretty clear. | ||
| But there's a hint. | ||
| There's a hitch. | ||
| You know, you get it... | ||
| You see it in fighters where... | ||
| You never know, because it might just be you're tired, right? | ||
| But there's some days where I'm jet-lagged or tired. | ||
| I'm really stupid. | ||
| I don't talk that good. | ||
| He did beat two murder cases. | ||
| That'll make you a little... | ||
| And he's in his 70s, right? | ||
| Isn't he? | ||
| Yeah, he's in his 70s, yeah. | ||
|
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But still, there's a struggle, slight struggle to the way he's talking. | |
| That makes me think he's dealing with some sparks. | ||
| O.J. Simpson worried he has CTE. I have days that I can't find words. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| But CTE makes you murder people, right? | ||
| You could be. | ||
| Would you use that today, OJ? That's what his lawyer had said. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| One of his lawyers had said that it had OJ Simpson. | ||
| Was it a lawyer or was it a medical advisor? | ||
| Medical advisor? | ||
| Medical advisor said, I would bet my binnacle license that he has CTE. Yeah, but he was also saying that it would have been a part of the defense. | ||
| Right, it would have been a part of it. | ||
| If the crime had happened today. | ||
| I mean, yeah, that's what I'm saying, right? | ||
| That's what happened to Aaron Hernandez, they were saying? | ||
| CTV? Dude, with all of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And obviously, you're in a super violent sport, too. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| It's like the most violent. | ||
| And then you're going to have a high capacity for violence. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then on top of that, if your fucking wiring is... | ||
| Because you've been smashed so many times, and they do get smashed, and their wiring does go, for some of them, fighters and... | ||
| A little haywire. | ||
| Yeah, they get a little haywire. | ||
| Chris Benoit. | ||
| Yeah, that was terrible. | ||
| That kind of shit is so terrifying. | ||
| A guy could kill his family. | ||
| I mean, and many people that have experienced extreme CTE have wound up, when they committed suicide, donating their brain. | ||
| Like, saying, you know, like, that one dude, Junior Sal, he shot himself in the chest, right, so that they could look at his brain. | ||
| That's hard, man. | ||
| That's hard. | ||
| How many fights have you been in? | ||
| How many times have you been concussed? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how many times I've been concussed. | ||
| I've never been knocked unconscious, but I got TKO'd in a kickboxing match. | ||
| The last fight I ever had, I got cracked. | ||
| I got cracked with a left hook. | ||
| It was one of the weirdest times I've ever been hit because I'd been hit hard before, but I'd never been hit where my legs stopped working. | ||
| They just stopped. | ||
| They just stopped. | ||
| He hit me. | ||
| He caught me at the tip of my jaw with a left hook that I didn't see coming, and my leg just went... | ||
| They just gave out. | ||
| They gave out. | ||
| They shut off. | ||
| There's a nerve in here, you're saying, that's kind of like... | ||
| You get hit, and your jaw goes sideways, and your head twists, and your brain sloshes around in there. | ||
| And it's like a bolt of electricity. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's like everything shuts off. | ||
| It just shuts off. | ||
| But I was still conscious. | ||
| But I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| What is going on here? | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| And I was like, all right, get back up to your feet. | ||
| So the referee was counting. | ||
| He got to eight... | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| I got up to my feet. | ||
| They dusted my gloves off, and the kid came at me again and hit me with an uppercut, another punch, and dropped me again, and then they stopped to fight. | ||
| So I was never unconscious, but that was the worst I'd ever been, like, beaten in a fight, where just knuckle sandwiches, sparks flying. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| But that was the last time I ever fought. | ||
| But other than that, there was a lot of training sessions where you get kicked in the face or punched. | ||
| There's a lot of those. | ||
| It just happens. | ||
| And most of the time... | ||
| You know, if you get hit full blast, it's an accident. | ||
|
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|
Can you get tested for CTE? Is that a thing now? | |
| There's no age test for CTE? They have tested a few people while they're alive. | ||
| I think they have to actually look at the brain to find the stuff. | ||
| So they have to drill a hole in your brain? | ||
| Yeah, to prove, to have undeniable evidence. | ||
| Okay, so you've got to die first. | ||
| Yeah, they like to do autopsies on people with CTE, and they... | ||
| We have crazy, atrophied brains. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The brain of an 85-year-old person with Alzheimer's disease. | ||
| It's really nuts, man. | ||
| Like, their brains are fucked up. | ||
| There's all these weird proteins get developed from the concussions. | ||
|
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|
It's fucked up. | |
| Like, what, like, calcifies the brain or something? | ||
| He does horrible things. | ||
| He eats away different parts of the brain. | ||
| There's like these little dark spots and holes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I'm not exactly sure what the mental process is. | ||
| But the medical process is, rather. | ||
| That's like dead spots. | ||
| Like your brain's dead there. | ||
| It's when they always describe... | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Okay, former NFL player confirmed his first diagnosis of CTE in living patient. | ||
| Yeah, we had talked about this before. | ||
|
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|
Okay. | |
| So recent, yeah. | ||
| So they're able now to get some sort of an accurate reading of what your brain looks like and they can see the CTE without having to open you up. | ||
| But I think most of the time it's when a person's already dead. | ||
| Maybe their detection methods are getting better. | ||
| Listen, man, if you look at that brain, go back to that image when the guy's poking at the brain. | ||
| He's looking at the x-rays or the MRIs. | ||
| Just look at that. | ||
| Just look at that thing. | ||
| That, which is protected by a thin layer of bone, is where all of your fucking thinking takes place. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| It's an organ. | ||
| And you get punched in the face. | ||
| All of that is just like detaching from the walls, all the connective tissue. | ||
| What is that stuff called? | ||
| That real weird stuff that sits between, what kind of connective tissue is that described as? | ||
| Between the brain and the skull. | ||
| There's like a specific name for it. | ||
| Oh, like that thin layer? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| And that stuff gets ripped. | ||
| It's tears-free. | ||
| Which is when you get hit, you're saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes people develop internal bleeding after fights. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Combat sports. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
| Another guy just died, right? | ||
| Another boxer? | ||
| Another boxer. | ||
| Two boxers died in a very short period of time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some people think that they should shorten fights now, that they should make them like eight rounds. | ||
| What, because guys are just bigger and faster and stronger? | ||
| I mean, people just want to mitigate the thing. | ||
| The damage, right? | ||
| Mitigate the damage, but if you did that in the high-level fights, you'd miss amazing fights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury, if that wasn't 12 rounds... | ||
| When Wilder knocked him down in the 12th round and Fury rose from the dead, we would have missed one of the greatest moments in the history of the sport. | ||
| I mean, that was an amazing moment, man. | ||
| For two reasons. | ||
| One, because you see how fucking hard Deontay punches. | ||
| And two, that Wilder, who looked like he was dead to the world, rises up and then outboxes him for the rest of the round. | ||
| Survives. | ||
| Survives Wilder chasing him down. | ||
| And then outboxes him. | ||
| Then even tags Wilder. | ||
| And has Wilder covering up. | ||
| That whole round doesn't take place if you only fight eight rounds. | ||
| Because it's supposed to be a test of endurance, too, right? | ||
| Not just strength and power. | ||
| For sure, yeah. | ||
| I mean, maybe if people were only fighting eight rounds, it would be worse because they would go harder. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there'd be worse fights because you'd exert all your energy in the first three, four, three, five rounds. | ||
| The only argument against that, though, is kickboxing because in kickboxing, they've always had less rounds. | ||
| Like kickboxing, like a Muay Thai fight, like a lot of times they'll fight three rounds or they'll fight five rounds. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, come on. | ||
| I mean, because that's insane. | ||
| I mean, you're talking about tree trunks hitting somebody, you know what I mean? | ||
| So awful. | ||
| Yeah, that should only be three to five rounds. | ||
| You ever gotten a charley horse, like a really bad charley horse? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| I had one recently where my whole leg stopped. | ||
| I was like, this is possible? | ||
| I didn't know it was possible. | ||
| Your whole leg stopped just from a charley horse. | ||
| There's levels to it, but the worst I ever saw was Jose Aldo fought Uriah Faber. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And Jose Aldo was one of the most vicious leg kickers in the history of the sport. | ||
| Oh my god, his leg kicks were insane. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| I had to have seen this fight. | ||
| 2012, maybe? | ||
| This is one of the favorites. | ||
| He's becoming big at that point, 2012. Yes. | ||
| He was fighting for the title. | ||
| It was for the featherweight title, I believe. | ||
| Or the WEC title. | ||
| Boy, I feel like that was like... | ||
| Okay, this is what it was. | ||
| If I'm correct, I think it was... | ||
| I think I'm incorrect. | ||
| Is that a... | ||
| Is that in the WEC? Yes, it is. | ||
| So I think what this was was the UFC and the WEC had a pay-per-view, but it wasn't quite the UFC yet, so I don't think they called it anything. | ||
| I think they just called it Aldo vs. | ||
| Faber, and the UFC promoted it. | ||
| I think that was how they got around it. | ||
| Dude, that is Aldo in his prime, son. | ||
| That combination right there is called the duchy, where they throw a left hook to the body and a right leg kick. | ||
| But this just showed you how goddamn tough Uriah Faber is. | ||
| The impressive performance, for sure, offensively. | ||
| I mean, Aldo was in his full prime. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| But what's really impressive is how Uriah Faber was able to endure. | ||
| I mean, it was... | ||
| How many rounds did this go? | ||
| It went the full distance. | ||
| Full five rounds. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Yeah, then you see his legs afterwards. | ||
| Fucking crazy, man. | ||
| When did they start doing five-round main events for the UFC? That wasn't early? | ||
| Or they grew to that? | ||
| I feel like I'm remembering. | ||
| It's been this way for quite a while, so it's hard to remember the exact year, but they didn't used to. | ||
| 2011. Oh, so this is like this decade. | ||
| That's when they started going to five rounds for main events. | ||
| UFC, Dana White says, all UFC main events to become five rounds. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But before that, championship fights. | ||
| Were championship fights always five rounds? | ||
| I'm trying to go back to the early, early days. | ||
| At this point, five-round contests have been reserved for title fights only. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I said. | ||
| But when did they make them five rounds for title fights? | ||
| Oh, before that. | ||
| When do they decide that a title fights five rounds and a regular fights three rounds? | ||
| I wonder if that was from the beginning. | ||
| Because you've got to remember, in the beginning days, they didn't even have time limits. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No. | ||
| You went until somebody got submitted? | ||
| They had a lot of fights where there was no time limits. | ||
| They were terrible. | ||
| And you just fought until somebody tapped out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's badass. | ||
| Especially in Japan. | ||
| Hoist Gracie had a fight with Sakuraba that went like 90 minutes. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, in Japan, they had a different way of looking at these contests. | ||
| They would make crazy matchups, where you can't win by decision, you can only win by knockout. | ||
| Like Krokop, who's one of the greatest strikers in MMA ever. | ||
| Because he came from K1 kickboxing. | ||
| He was big in K1 kickboxing, then made his way over to Japan and started fighting in Pride. | ||
| And the first time he fought, he fought Vanderlei Silva. | ||
| It was like a big time striker too. | ||
| But they had a special rules match. | ||
| And the special rules was, if it went to a decision, it was a draw, no matter what. | ||
| If no one got knocked out, it was a draw. | ||
| And if they fought on the ground, it could only be like 15 seconds. | ||
| There's like some crazy rule. | ||
| So it's basically just boxing or just kickboxing. | ||
| Yeah, I forget what the amount of time was, but there was a limited amount of time where they could fight on the ground. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I think... | ||
| This must have been badass. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because Crow Cop had the balls to step into MMA, like really with very little real MMA training. | ||
| It was mostly just as a kickboxer. | ||
| But then he started, as his career got further, he got better and better at stuff and takedowns. | ||
| So Japan would do that. | ||
| They would make fights where one guy wears a gi, the other guy doesn't. | ||
| They made fights with Bob Sapp, who was like 370 pounds, against a guy who was 200 pounds. | ||
| Jesus Christ, he'd just sit on the guy. | ||
| He just smashes him. | ||
| They made a bunch of horrible mismatches. | ||
| They'd make Vanderlei Silva fight someone who was just deathly scared of him that was going to get pummeled into the ground. | ||
| And they did it just so you could watch Vanderlei smash somebody. | ||
| Yeah, they sound like circus matches. | ||
| They had crazy fights, man. | ||
| They had crazy fights. | ||
| And you went over there to call the fights or just to watch them? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I only watched them here. | ||
| I've never been to Japan to watch fights other than the UFC. We did a UFC out there once. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| They're really, really polite. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Yeah, in between, like, while the action's happening, they're sitting there, quiet and polite. | ||
| Like, you don't hear a lot of, like, screaming and crazy. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, and then they get, they're very, they applaud, like, when things happen. | ||
| Is that good for a broadcast? | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta be. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| It's not bad, but it is different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, like, um... | ||
| Like, how was, like, Tyson and Buster Douglas? | ||
| Like, was that loud? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Like, all those fights over there. | ||
| Yeah, you're saying, like, the quiet. | ||
| I mean, that seems like it sucks. | ||
| But early on, they were super knowledgeable. | ||
| Like, early on in mixed martial arts, like, if you watched fights in Japan, if somebody passed guard, everybody would cheer. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Smart audience. | ||
| Yeah, they know exactly what's going on. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They're well-educated. | ||
| And if someone gets a mount, they start clapping. | ||
| and like this uh it's just a different completely different kind of reaction from the audience strange it's cool though it's like when you watch the ufc events from japan it's changing they're becoming a little bit more used to like being rowdy okay having a good time but in the old days you could hear the corners crystal clear so the corner the You're supposed to, yeah. | ||
| Press down with the butterfly, down with the butterfly. | ||
| Look out for the right arm. | ||
| We have the right arm. | ||
| Okay, keep that overhook. | ||
| Keep that overhook. | ||
| And you would hear that. | ||
| But he could hear it, too. | ||
| Everybody could hear it. | ||
| So the guy who you're fighting is hearing the advice against him. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Crystal clear, because there's no noise. | ||
| I mean, that must make fights, I mean, like, yeah, just long and boring because they all know their strategy now. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No? | ||
| It's still crazy. | ||
| It's still crazy. | ||
| Just because someone knows you're trying to get their arm doesn't mean you're not going to get their arm. | ||
| It's still crazy. | ||
| It's still crazy. | ||
| But it was really interesting because you could hear everything. | ||
| You could hear a baby yelling out. | ||
| It's up in Vegas. | ||
| Yeah, Vegas is like anybody screaming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know what I find? | ||
| Sometimes the most enthusiastic crowds are the ones that don't get the UFC there very often. | ||
| So when it does get there, they get fucking super pumped. | ||
| I can't believe it's there live, you know? | ||
| Like where? | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of cities where we've gone to. | ||
| Texas always has wild-ass UOCs. | ||
| I mean, that makes sense. | ||
| That's a good place for UOCs. | ||
| But there's a lot of cities that just don't get it all the time. | ||
| Chicago. | ||
| Whenever we're in Chicago, it's big. | ||
| You've never been to Chicago? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Whenever we're in Chicago. | ||
| Yeah, I go to Chicago all the time. | ||
| Those are big drinking towns, though. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I feel like any fighter's town or big drinking town, it doesn't matter what it is. | ||
| Yeah, so when we were talking about reparations earlier, I don't think they should give money to people. | ||
| No, not individually. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But what I think they should do is definitely put money... | ||
| If you were a guy who was the manager of a city, let's look at that. | ||
| Let's look at the city like a city was a store. | ||
| And you're the manager of the store. | ||
| But the section over near the cleaning products, everything explodes all the time, and it's fucking dangerous, and mops are falling. | ||
| And you're like, everything's in order. | ||
| City's good. | ||
| Revenue looks good. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| The fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You're the manager? | ||
| What are you doing about this? | ||
| Look at this spot. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| That's the cleaning products. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what to do about the cleaning products. | ||
| They explode. | ||
| The mops fall off the racks. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I wave my hands at it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You would never tolerate that. | ||
| No. | ||
| But a mayor, like that Pete Buttigieg guy, he could have all sorts of chaos going on in his town while he's out there campaigning for president. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| You don't have to fix it. | ||
| You don't have to fix it. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, like, well, how do you feel like... | ||
| I'm saying it's an infrastructure problem, so how do you fix it? | ||
| I mean, so you're saying take, what, 15% or whatever percentage from, like, all these big corporations and then, like, they should be paying for... | ||
| I'm not even saying that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But what I was saying, though, if there was a direct line... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, I don't know if you even can do this anymore at this point in time, but if there was a direct way you could show this is the amount of money that came from slavery and they still have this amount of money. | ||
| I mean, how are you finding that out, though? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, there's no way. | ||
| Because, by the way, we can't even trace, like, you know, what, I don't know what plantation I was even at, you know what I mean, or where my family lineage is. | ||
| Well, there was a bunch of Nazi money that they traced. | ||
| They've traced Nazi money. | ||
| They've definitely done that. | ||
| They've definitely done that. | ||
| That's a little more modern, though. | ||
| I mean, I feel like you're saying from 16 or 15 or 14 until, you know, 1860-something. | ||
| Yeah, we're dealing with, like, an 80-year gap. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It'd be hard. | ||
| But if there was, like, some clearly established business that used to be a plantation. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Also, you know, Jewish people like to keep things in account, so you can trace that money. | ||
| Here's an unpopular thought. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| I think we should probably consider doing that with definitely areas that were impacted by slavery, but then also areas that have been impacted by economic crisis, too. | ||
| Not just the areas impacted by it. | ||
| We have to fix the bad spots in the country, all told. | ||
| Like, full stop. | ||
| We've got to fix those people that live in West Virginia, in the mountains. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fucking pill people. | ||
| I mean, any poor community, yeah. | ||
| Any poor community, yeah. | ||
| But first, as a general acknowledgement of what this country was founded on, you've got to fix the areas that were fucked up by slavery. | ||
| The idea that you shouldn't... | ||
| Aren't we on a team together? | ||
| Okay, aren't we Team America? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, Team America would want all of its members to be in good shape. | ||
| We want less losers, right? | ||
| Here's the way you get less losers. | ||
| You provide more opportunity and you fix the spots that are fucked up. | ||
| That comes with education, though, Joe. | ||
| It's not just education. | ||
| The literacy rate is crazy down there. | ||
| So you're saying idiots, you know what I mean? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm not saying that they're idiots. | ||
| What I'm saying is they're stuck in a horrible place. | ||
| And that you're an idiot if you don't want to fix that. | ||
| No, I get that. | ||
| I think it's just unpopular. | ||
| Here's what everybody wants to say. | ||
| We want to go to... | ||
| Out of Afghanistan and out of Iraq. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We want to provide free health care for everyone. | |
| We think that education should be free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to give you $1,000 a month. | |
| But no one's saying Our whole thing, if we looked at it as an ecosystem, there's disease spots. | ||
| There's spots where it's not going well. | ||
| It's sick. | ||
| It's not doing well. | ||
| There's too much crime. | ||
| There's too much pollution. | ||
| There's too much environmental factors, whatever the factors are. | ||
| Taking advantage of communities, right. | ||
| Whether it's environmental factors like the water in Flint, Michigan, or whether it is the crime-ridden streets of Baltimore or Philly, or wherever it is where it's bad. | ||
| Find spots where it's bad. | ||
| Those spots have to be addressed. | ||
| You don't just address it with law enforcement. | ||
| You've got to figure out a plan to slowly reinvigorate those spots where there's no severe poverty left. | ||
| I like what you were saying earlier, even about the Italian cities, how they do the mom and pop thing. | ||
| They keep the money in the community, right? | ||
| They haven't sold out to the corporations who are just draining those communities. | ||
| Right, but the thing is, it's so tourism-based, they kind of don't have to. | ||
| The places where I'm going to, I went to the Malfi Coast, which is really popular for tourism. | ||
| You go to these places, there's no incentive. | ||
| Because there's people there all the time. | ||
| There's no incentive to give in to corporations. | ||
| But instead of my parents having to go to Costco, maybe there's a hardware store down the street that has, like, I'm just going to go to Pete's because he's got cameras over here. | ||
| So you're keeping money in the community, that kind of thing. | ||
| Or like local grocers, that kind of thing. | ||
| Like, oh, hey, I'm not going to go to Vons or Rouse. | ||
| I'm just going to go to Edna's because she's got the cabbages I like. | ||
| Yeah, but what if you don't have that? | ||
| Then the only thing you got is Target or Walgreens. | ||
| Like, you just gotta deal with it. | ||
| I mean, I'm saying, but that's, you know, that's their, yeah, that's those poor communities I'm saying. | ||
| Like, they're putting those there and they're just draining those people of just, like, you know, maybe getting opportunities that, you know, they can thrive in, like, Italian communities you're saying. | ||
| They also make it financially almost impossible to compete. | ||
| You can't sell things as cheap as they can. | ||
| They get better deals. | ||
| If you have a mom and pop shop and you're selling shovels or something like that, you can't sell them as Home Depot. | ||
| We made these ourselves. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Those shovels would be like $5 less and that's all anybody cares about. | ||
| That's a problem with people, right? | ||
| Well, then how do you build infrastructure then? | ||
| I mean, I'm saying incentivize parents because that's going to help those guys. | ||
| It's going to help the whole family figure out what do we need to do about Junior here or the little lady here and figure out how we're going to make them better members of society. | ||
| I like that idea. | ||
| I mean, I think that if we could figure out how much they would get and where the money would come from, and if it did work, it would be insane. | ||
| I mean, you think about how much money you have to spend on the criminal justice system, on healthcare system from assaults, and all sorts of things when people go bad, right? | ||
| And what would you save through incentivizing education and making sure that people get compensated financially for education success? | ||
| And then all of a sudden it starts booming and then you have way less crime. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| I'm saying, bro. | ||
| I mean, that almost feels like it's a no-brainer, you know? | ||
| I mean, if you're talking about infrastructure, that's infrastructure. | ||
| Hey, dude, why don't you run for president? | ||
| You got any other awesome ideas? | ||
| Because that's an awesome idea. | ||
| Look, I'm obviously a financial moron. | ||
| I don't know how much that would cost, but if it could be done, I think it would work. | ||
| I hear it keeps saying, we need to have it, but it's like, what does that mean? | ||
| Is that an infrastructure thing, or are we just giving people money? | ||
| Isn't it a weird one? | ||
| Because it keeps coming up. | ||
| It's like it comes up, then it goes away. | ||
| It's like, hey, we never fucking sorted this out. | ||
| I mean, I'll tell you this. | ||
| I remember on, it was Willie Hunter, he put on Twitter, he put his Venmo, he said, white people, if you want to give me reparations, my Venmo's open. | ||
| And he made like, I don't know, like a hundred bucks, and then we went on the road, and then he bought us Skittles, iced tea, and Hennessy. | ||
| Reparation money. | ||
| You can't do that with the community, man. | ||
| Do you ever see when Hotep Jesus walked into Starbucks and demanded his reparation coffee? | ||
| He's an interesting character. | ||
| I've had him on my podcast. | ||
| There was a Starbucks that got busted for telling these young black guys that they had to leave. | ||
| And it became a big deal where they developed a new policy where they're never going to just tell people to leave. | ||
| And so the problem with that is they'll be like, what about homeless people? | ||
| Now you've got homeless people that have liked to hang around Starbucks and the policy is they can't even tell them to leave. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like all these black people and homeless people, now Starbucks. | ||
| The story was really, it was big in the news that Starbucks was racist. | ||
| So Starbucks was like apologizing publicly. | ||
| So while that was going on, Hotep Jesus was like, I'm going to go get some free coffee. | ||
| He went into coffee and he goes, I hear I can get my reparations coffee. | ||
| I'm here to get coffee for free because I heard y'all were racist. | ||
| And so the lady's like, yeah, I heard that. | ||
| And she pours him a cup of coffee and she gives him a cup of coffee. | ||
| I heard that. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| She heard that there was something racist going on. | ||
| Yeah, so she's giving her free coffee. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Good shit, Hotel Jesus. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| But it's, you know, Starbucks, like anybody can go in there now. | ||
| Yeah, but it's all, you know, it's whatever coffee. | ||
| You're still, you're a big coffee guy. | ||
| I'm not a big, I'm a tea, I'm a black tea guy. | ||
| Dude, I love coffee. | ||
| We got a new coffee from Onnit called Fuck Yeah Coffee. | ||
| I'm scared to try it. | ||
| Apparently, did you see it? | ||
| Did you see the bag? | ||
| I have some, I've tried it. | ||
| It's fucking ridiculous. | ||
| But it's got caffeine crystals in it. | ||
| Yeah, I was trying to, I didn't know what that meant. | ||
| How much caffeine does it have? | ||
| I couldn't, I just made a French press of it, so I couldn't tell. | ||
| Were you off the wall? | ||
| I, I think just like weed, I don't think caffeine affects me like normal people does. | ||
| Jamie's a robot, dude. | ||
| Jamie's a robot. | ||
| Jamie takes edibles, they don't do a damn thing. | ||
| Really, Jamie? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I've tried to OD. Have you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do not get into an edible eating contest with Jamie. | ||
| Yo, that's a million dollar idea. | ||
| He's a robot. | ||
| Oh, you'll kill people. | ||
| He's a robot. | ||
| He just throws them down. | ||
| They don't do a goddamn thing to him. | ||
| I don't know who it is. | ||
| One out of 20 times may be a small effect, but yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but like a small effect for like 500 milligrams. | ||
| He's got good genes. | ||
| He's got really good genes. | ||
| You took a thousand? | ||
| I took a thousand, yeah, and played some video games, and four hours later I was like, alright, I'm a little tired, I'll stop. | ||
| You got, yeah, you got like that gene, there's like a gene that, actually, let's go back to HIV, there's a gene that some people have, like you can't get it. | ||
| Yes, there's some people that can't get HIV. Isn't there a movie about that where they use a guy because he's got the one gene? | ||
| Oh, what is that goddamn movie? | ||
| I feel like I've seen it recently. | ||
| Oh, I did. | ||
| Okay, here's what it is. | ||
| It's called The Man Who Shot Hitler and Then Bigfoot. | ||
| And I saw it recently. | ||
| It's a Sam Elliott movie. | ||
| Whoa, okay. | ||
| Dude, it is an interesting movie. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| I watched it on a flight. | ||
| And I downloaded it because I was like, what is this? | ||
| What is the man who shot Hitler and then Bigfoot? | ||
| But I'm a big Sam Elliott fan. | ||
| And it got good reviews. | ||
| Love the mustache. | ||
| So, I said, okay. | ||
| I'll give it a shot. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, they're not hiding it. | ||
| He shot Bigfoot and then Hitler. | ||
| The man who killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. | ||
| When did this come out? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And he can't get HIV. The thing was that he had a very specific gene. | ||
| They brought him back to service because after he'd killed Hitler, he's an older man. | ||
| But he had a very specific gene that made him immune to this disease that Bigfoot had, and that Bigfoot was sick. | ||
| And that his virus was killing all the wildlife that was anywhere near him. | ||
| And there was a dead zone around Bigfoot and they were tracking him. | ||
| And they had to have someone go in there and kill Bigfoot. | ||
| So they bring in Sam Elliott when he's like 70 years old. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| To go in and kill Bigfoot. | ||
| It's fucking cool. | ||
| I enjoyed it, man. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| It's not, you know, 2001 A Space Odyssey, but it's a fucking cool movie. | ||
| It's definitely a B movie. | ||
| I mean, damn, I didn't know... | ||
| Is that Bigfoot? | ||
| Where? | ||
| This little shadow thing? | ||
| No, they see him pretty up close. | ||
| I mean, maybe they don't show it in the preview, but it's pretty up close. | ||
| It's gnarly. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| I don't want to say too much. | ||
| Yeah, don't... | ||
| Yeah, completely spoil it. | ||
| But he does kill Hitler. | ||
| Yeah, well, killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. | ||
| It says it in the title. | ||
| People really want to kill Hitler. | ||
| That's like a thing that movies are doing, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I was watching a video of Hitler tweaking. | ||
| Hitler's on speed, you know, he did a lot of speed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's at the 1936 Olympics and he's sitting in the audience like this. | ||
| Like, tweaking. | ||
| Oh, it's like an actual footage of him. | ||
| Yeah, it's actual footage. | ||
| Apparently somebody had taken it and sped it up and made it unrealistic. | ||
| Just to show, like, make it look like he's really, really, really tweaking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then... | ||
| It was hard for some people to find the actual speed footage, but this is the actual speed footage, they believe. | ||
| So he's just rocking back and forth, tweaking. | ||
| Wow, he does have crack hit energy. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| 100% tweaking. | ||
| So, I mean, there's no way you rock like that if you're not tweaking. | ||
| He's like, fidgety too? | ||
| Where's his left hand? | ||
| What is happening there? | ||
| He's touching the glove. | ||
| His left hand's got a glove and he's rubbing a gun on his dick. | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| Let me see that again. | ||
| Replay, please. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| How weird is that, man? | ||
| How weird is it to see that guy? | ||
| Go full screen. | ||
| So he jerks off with his gun. | ||
| Like masturbates in a way. | ||
| He's literally... | ||
| I'm just joking about a gun. | ||
| I don't think it's really a gun. | ||
| But he's definitely got his hand on his dick. | ||
| He's like a guy who's freaking out. | ||
| He might as well be a meth head, right? | ||
| How do they let this guy like... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's got something he's touching his dick with. | ||
| See it? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I mean, you said good. | ||
| It looks like one. | ||
| His hand's curled over. | ||
| It does look like he's got something in his hand. | ||
| Dude, he's rubbing something on his pecker. | ||
| Do you have a cane? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, he's rubbing his cane on his dick. | ||
| Maybe he's holding like that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Maybe? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But look, go towards the end of it, and we'll pause when you can see the hand right next to his dick. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It is moving. | ||
| No, watch. | ||
| Watch when you see his hand. | ||
| Get that bar out of the bottom. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Over the pants handjob that he's given himself? | ||
| Look, he's got something in his hand. | ||
| And that something in his hand is in between his legs. | ||
| You said cane. | ||
| I mean, you might be right. | ||
| I'm going to Google cane. | ||
| I mean, you were joking about the gun, but I mean, it could be. | ||
| It could be a cane. | ||
| It could be a Ruger. | ||
| It might be a gun. | ||
| I think it looks more like a cane now that I'm looking at it. | ||
| But either way. | ||
| Yeah, he's definitely rubbing his dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine if Trump was on TV just tweaking, fucking tweaking hard. | |
| Oh, fuck China. | ||
| Fuck these fucking trade relations. | ||
| Fuck Jeffrey Epstein. | ||
| Fuck all these assholes. | ||
| Just tweaking. | ||
| Just tweaking. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| He knows Jeff, right? | ||
| Jeff Epstein. | ||
| Apparently he knew him. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Apparently they had a falling out over a mansion. | ||
| I was reading a story about it. | ||
| Oh, like when he sold him? | ||
| No, they were both trying to buy some super exclusive property that was like the crown jewel of Palm Beach. | ||
| It was this six-acre mansion that overlooks the ocean. | ||
| It's on the beach. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's a hell of a plantation for girls. | ||
| Well, it's also one of those things where, like, if you're a part of these communities, there's certain properties that are iconic, and to own them would elevate your social status. | ||
| Like, did you hear Trump bought the Mansion de Chimabon? | ||
| Okay, yeah, some elite shit. | ||
| It had, like, a name to it. | ||
| The place is... | ||
| Off the charts. | ||
| If you see it on TV, you get a sense. | ||
| That's not it. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It's a cane. | ||
| Apparently he's known to having a famous walking stick. | ||
| I thought you were showing Epstein and Trump. | ||
| He did have the cane. | ||
| What was the house? | ||
| Google the house that they competed about. | ||
| Trump and him competed over a house. | ||
| He's got eight waterfalls. | ||
| Well, it's really old, I think. | ||
| Fourteen-year-olds in every room. | ||
| It's like if someone was a super billionaire character. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know, name some famous man. | ||
| Like the Hearst Castle. | ||
| The Hearst Castle for sale. | ||
| They'd all be trying to get it. | ||
| Trump and Epstein's friendship reportedly soured after they fought over a $41 million Palm Beach mansion. | ||
| Two weeks after the home's auction, cops received a tip about underage women in Epstein's house. | ||
| Can I say? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That was Candyland. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's see if they have pictures of the place. | ||
| That's like a Taj Mahal. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That thing's gorgeous. | ||
| Dude, it's dope as fuck. | ||
| The images are insane. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Look at that place. | ||
| So that's... | ||
| You get it. | ||
| They're fighting over who's got the biggest dick on Palm Beach. | ||
| If you own that motherfucker, you bought that place, you're King Baller. | ||
| Everybody wants to have the party at your house. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I guess there's just a few of these type of mansions down in Palm Beach, but there's a lot of them. | ||
| I mean, there's, you know, I don't know what the number is, but there's a good, solid number of them where these guys are competing against each other. | ||
| That's fucking incredible. | ||
| It's sort of like... | ||
| It's like the White House. | ||
| Well, it's sort of like those houses in Malibu. | ||
| Like, there's some houses in Malibu where you look at, like, there's one crazy mansion overlooking the sea and then another one next to it. | ||
| Joe, I don't live in your neighborhood, Joe. | ||
| I don't live there either, man. | ||
| Oh, real shit? | ||
| They mostly burned to a crisp. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It did. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You fly over it now, it's like, just so many houses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just charred. | |
| Just charred. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those houses where the people do live with that kind of a view, I mean, those are super, super valuable. | ||
| And in Florida, in West Palm Beach, apparently, it's super, super wealthy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| $135 million? | ||
| I mean, property. | ||
| $135 million amazing Italian Renaissance-style mega mansion in Palm Beach, Florida. | ||
| If you buy that, you're King Cock. | ||
| You're just swinging dick all over. | ||
| Come on in! | ||
| By the way, why did God make the dick size? | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| To make you work harder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's really the reason. | ||
| Yeah, if you had a giant hog, you'd be just waiting around, waiting for girls to come to you. | ||
| I'm saying, but he can make dicks all the same size, and there'd be no competition. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Can't make ears the same size either. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Not noses, not eyebrows, no uniformity, no eugenics. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta work harder. | ||
| You got a little dick. | ||
| Gotta figure out how to get by in this world. | ||
| Like your God's brain. | ||
| And those big dick dudes, man, they just don't have the motivation to hardly ever get anything done. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're just too busy slinging dick. | ||
| You skirt around them. | ||
| You pass them in the game. | ||
| Take them on the inside turn. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Look, it doesn't make sense that there are sloths. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Why is that fair? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet they love their shit, though. | ||
| I bet they love it. | ||
| They fucking hate it. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| Yeah, they fucking hate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| They're always getting jacked by eagles. | ||
| You know how embarrassing it is when the main thing that eats you is a bird? | ||
| And you're a mammal? | ||
| How often does that happen? | ||
| If you're not a mouse, it's not a field mouse and an owl. | ||
| That's hilarious, by the way. | ||
| I didn't know, yeah, that everybody talks shit about sloths in the animal kingdom. | ||
| Bro, they all talk shit on sloths. | ||
| Sloths move so slow that mold grows on them. | ||
| Oh, that's gross. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's how lazy they are? | ||
| And they just can't be any better? | ||
| They just move real slow. | ||
| That's just what they do. | ||
| And mold grows on them. | ||
| That's gross. | ||
| Yeah, I was at a wildlife sanctuary in Silmar, I think it is. | ||
| I take my kids there. | ||
| And they got a sloth. | ||
| Oh my god, so cute. | ||
| And I'm like, why is this thing moldy? | ||
| And they're like, oh, it grows, like moss grows on it. | ||
| Like a green fungus, like a tree. | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
| Look at all that shit. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| That's moss growing on them. | ||
| Because they're so goddamn slow that plants can grow on them. | ||
| I mean, is that healthy? | ||
| I mean, it looks great, by the way, guys. | ||
| It just works. | ||
| It's almost like camouflage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But one of the main things that eat them in... | ||
| Is it moss? | ||
| Is this eagle called... | ||
| Fuck, what is it called? | ||
| Harpy eagle. | ||
| Harpy eagle. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, it's a giant eagle that lives in South America that just fucks up sloths. | ||
| And just eats sloths. | ||
| Man, sloth meat. | ||
| And monkeys, too. | ||
| It eats monkeys, too. | ||
| But look at that. | ||
| It's carrying a sloth. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I mean, well, yeah. | ||
| That's not a big sloth, though. | ||
| No, but it's a big fucking eagle. | ||
| That's a bear, yeah. | ||
| I mean, look at those thighs. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| That thing is all power. | ||
| All power. | ||
| And I think that's the biggest eagle. | ||
| Yeah, the harpy? | ||
| I think that's the biggest eagle. | ||
| I mean, damn. | ||
| That's majestic. | ||
| I mean, those are small sloths. | ||
| Are these like baby sloths that it eats? | ||
| Not like full grown? | ||
| No, they eat a sloth sloth. | ||
| Sloth sloth. | ||
| They'll eat anybody. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I mean, the sloth can't really defend itself. | ||
| The armadillo. | ||
| Oh my God, they eat an armadillo? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Look how it's crushing the armadillo's body. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| How crazy is how it can crush the armadillo's body with its claws? | ||
| That's one claw. | ||
| It's got it with one hand. | ||
| It's one-handing that thing. | ||
| What would it do to an arm, a human arm? | ||
| Oh, fuck you up. | ||
| We'd tear your meat apart. | ||
| We're so doughy, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're so, like, so mushy. | ||
| It would just tear your arm apart. | ||
| Just clawing onto your arm. | ||
| That's why those dudes wear those crazy arm sleeves when they have a falcon on their arm. | ||
| Right, because it would just... | ||
| Yeah, because we're really easy to slice up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We have no armor. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing with a rabbit. | ||
| Ooh, look at its legs. | ||
| That thing's badass. | ||
| It is a beast. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't look real. | ||
| That one's got a little band on its leg. | ||
| It's been captured. | ||
| So they're either... | ||
| Is that a carving? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| So they leave the... | ||
| Oh, they leave the rabbit there and it swoops in to get the rabbit? | ||
| It's hard to see what the fuck it is because of all those watermarks. | ||
| It's so obnoxious with the watermarks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Protect your shit. | |
| I get it, bro. | ||
| What is that thing right there? | ||
| Is that a fox that's about to eat? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh yeah, it is. | ||
| Yeah, they eat foxes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| No, it looks like they're fighting. | ||
| The fox is fighting with the eagle over a rabbit. | ||
| Okay, they're fighting over food. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Fox fighting over a rabbit. | ||
| Yeah, the eagle's stealing. | ||
| Yeah, just eat the fox. | ||
| Eagle grabs sloth from tree. | ||
| Oh, is that the sloth? | ||
| You want to see a video of it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You should watch a video of the sloth because it is kind of fucked up. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Is that a deer? | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| Is that a buck? | ||
| Oh, it's a bald eagle. | ||
| That's fake. | ||
| One thing they do do, though, is they pull... | ||
| They do do. | ||
| Sometimes you do have to say do and then do again. | ||
| One thing they do as well is they grab goats and fling them off the side of cliffs. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| They just sling them off? | ||
| Yeah, they grab them. | ||
| That looks more real, but I don't know. | ||
| Why do they do that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's real, bro. | ||
| That's probably real. | ||
| But there's video of it. | ||
| They do it to kill them so they can eat them. | ||
| Okay, I was going to say, yeah, that makes perfect sense. | ||
| I was wondering why they're just doing it. | ||
| They're just assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I was just kicking them off the cliff. | |
| That would be hilarious and perfect. | ||
| Well, that's what cats do. | ||
| You know, house cats. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever see the numbers of how many animals house cats kill per year? | ||
| You're kidding. | ||
| It's in the billions. | ||
| You're kidding. | ||
| B. B. Billion. | ||
| B. I. Cats kill other animals by what they're like. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Yeah, we'll show that right after this. | ||
| See, look, he's dragging the goat off the cliff and then drops it to have it smash against the rocks. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| I mean, look at that. | ||
| That is dark. | ||
| And then it hits the ground and then the eagle swoops down and starts eating it. | ||
| So it's like planning on throwing this thing off. | ||
| It understands the consequences. | ||
| It understands that that thing can't fly. | ||
| So it's not just grabbing it, swooping down and grabbing it. | ||
| It broke its neck. | ||
| It's throwing it into the rocks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Throwing it off the cliff so he can eat it. | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
| Fucking crazy. | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
| What was the other thing we were just talking about? | ||
| The numbers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The sheer numbers of birds that house cats kill. | ||
| Just house cats. | ||
| Just meow out in the backyard. | ||
| How? | ||
| Just murder. | ||
| Oh, they murder? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Murder death. | ||
| Just jump up and grab birds. | ||
| I had this cat. | ||
| Her name was Spaz. | ||
| She was a fluff ball cat. | ||
| And she would bring me these birds. | ||
| 1.4 billion to as many as 3.7 billion birds in the continental U.S. each year. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Cats kill from 1.4 billion to as many as 3.7 billion birds. | ||
| Just birds. | ||
| That's not mice. | ||
| That's not squirrels. | ||
| Just birds. | ||
| Just birds. | ||
| I had a cat when I was growing up and he killed a squirrel and was walking across the street with it in his mouth. | ||
| It was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. | ||
| Did he eat it or just like just carry it in his mouth? | ||
| He just, his name, we called him Kitty. | ||
| We were very unoriginal when we were kids. | ||
| I had a name for him that was like the Black Panther in a Conan the Barbarian book but everybody fucking gave me the veto on it. | ||
| They never called him it. | ||
| They just called him Kitty. | ||
| So we eventually just wound up calling him Kitty. | ||
| Very South Park. | ||
| He was walking across the street with a squirrel in between his legs. | ||
| So he had the squirrel by the mouth, by its neck rather, in his mouth. | ||
| And he was walking with the squirrel underneath him, just dragging it with it in between his legs. | ||
| And it was almost as big as him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking nuts. | |
| I'm looking at this and I'm like, what a creepy little thing I live with. | ||
| Because squirrels have like plague, don't they? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's like that squirrel plague. | ||
| Squirrel plague? | ||
| Black Plague, right? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| No, squirrels. | ||
| This was like last decade, I think. | ||
| Or maybe even this decade. | ||
| What's the squirrel plague? | ||
| Yeah, there's like a Black Plague for squirrels. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Well, I know there was a couple. | ||
| I think it was a man and a woman. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Los Angeles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| There we go. | ||
| Plague-infested squirrel caused a closure of a California campground this week after it was found during a routine trapping, Los Angeles County health officials confirmed. | ||
| This is 2013. Actually, don't ever touch dead squirrels. | ||
| Bubonic plague. | ||
| Bubonic plague. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I think that's what those people got that ate that marmot liver. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| There was some people that got sick and died from the plague really recently, like within the last couple of months, because they had eaten a raw marmot liver. | ||
| A marmot is like some kind of a rodent. | ||
| And they had killed this marmot and ate its liver. | ||
| And this is here in the States? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Mongolia. | ||
| It was in Mongolia? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought it was in America. | |
| Mongolian couple died. | ||
| Right, but they didn't die doing it in America? | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| To make sure that they didn't come here and get it, but this says... | ||
| I thought the story was they died over here, and they had come over here and tried to reenact some sort of a ritualistic meal where they eat this raw liver, and they ate this raw liver and got the plague, son. | ||
| Does it say where it happened? | ||
| I think it was there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's like certain countries in Africa, too, that you can eat human, right? | ||
| Cannibal, like... | ||
| Legally? | ||
| I don't know if it's legal. | ||
| I know there was a story I read on it or something like that about these places in Africa, yeah, you can eat human. | ||
| This is ultimate stoner talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It really is. | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I read about it. | ||
| I'd be reading. | ||
| Well, do you remember the... | ||
| I don't know if you ever saw this. | ||
| There's a Vice piece on Liberia. | ||
| I think that might have been it then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Vice guy to travel in Liberia where they were saying this guy who was... | ||
| His name was General Butt Naked. | ||
| And General Butt Naked, he had become a preacher later in life, but when he was younger... | ||
| Preacher Butt Naked. | ||
| Yeah, when he was younger, he would go to war totally naked, and he would shoot people. | ||
| Oh, that was in Beasts of No Nation. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see Beast of No Nation? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's with Idris Elba. | ||
| He plays like an Idi Amin or a... | ||
| What's that thing called? | ||
| Kony? | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| Anyway, he's got these child soldiers, basically. | ||
| And yeah, they just go from tribe to tribe and just kill. | ||
| And they just genocide. | ||
| Just kill a bunch of tribes. | ||
| How about... | ||
| Whatever happened with that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kony. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| I think he's still like a warlord. | ||
| But do you remember how it was like this gigantic movement and it was this big thing and everybody was talking about it and then this one guy in San Diego that was a part of starting it, he wound up being naked, wandering around the street, masturbating in front of people and some crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, that made him not credible. | ||
| Did I make that up? | ||
| He was doing something along those lines, right? | ||
| He basically had a schizophrenic break or a psychotic break. | ||
| I'm not a doctor. | ||
| Something went wrong. | ||
| Something went wrong. | ||
| He blew a fuse. | ||
| But that's the cat, yeah. | ||
| They called him Tripod in that, but I think you're talking about the same guy. | ||
| When he went to war, like as a child soldier, yeah, he was butt naked. | ||
| I think it's a different guy, because this guy, his name literally was General Butt Naked, but I think there's a bunch of them that did that. | ||
| But anyway, on the Liberia show, he said that he busted these street cart guys selling human meat, and he said he knew because he knew what meat tastes like, because he had eaten it. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So he knew that it was human meat. | ||
| He knew it wasn't pork. | ||
| He knew it wasn't beef. | ||
| Liberia is crazy, by the way. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I mean, like, they have slaves out there. | ||
| Just imagine the gall of going to the cops and saying, that man is selling human meat. | ||
| Well, how do you know? | ||
| Well, because I've eaten it. | ||
| I mean, fuck. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Would you eat human? | ||
| It depends on what you have to do to stay alive, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, where are you? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Like, if you were in that movie, Alive, when they're scooping the dead dude's butt with a broken spoon. | ||
| Yeah, like Donner Pass or something like that. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| I'm saying like as a foodie. | ||
| Like, you know, you go to like a restaurant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
As a foodie? | |
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, if they cook it up nice, you know what I mean? | ||
| You get some Tabasco. | ||
| You're probably eating a dude's foot. | ||
| You got foot soup. | ||
| Or dick soup. | ||
| A dick burger. | ||
| Well, there was one guy. | ||
| Okay, here's another. | ||
| There was one guy story. | ||
| There was one guy that I had read about where online he requested that someone kill him and eat him. | ||
| Damn, that's his death wish. | ||
| Yeah, and I think it was in Germany. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So they met together, got together with a guy. | ||
| The guy cut his dick off, and they cooked it, and they ate it together. | ||
| He ate part of his dick, and then the guy wound up killing him. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| So this guy was alive, and they cooked and ate his dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Oh, they ate his dick together? | ||
| They did it together. | ||
| That's so German. | ||
| Dude, it was this guy's idea. | ||
| He requested it on, like, Craigslist or one of those things. | ||
| Let's cut my dick off and then eat it. | ||
| We're going to eat it, and then you're going to kill me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He wanted the guy to eat him, too. | ||
| I think the guy did eat some of them, but there was a question as to whether or not... | ||
| I mean, a person's a lot to eat. | ||
| How do you prosecute that? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Like, if someone said, I want you to cut my dick off, and you cut their dick off. | ||
| I want to cook it and eat it, and then you both cook it and eat it. | ||
| I want you to kill me and eat me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And the guy kills him and eats him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| What is that? | ||
| It's not a regular murder. | ||
| I think I'm reading the same story. | ||
| Is that manslaughter? | ||
| And they filmed it. | ||
| Oh, they filmed it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they filmed it. | ||
| Oh, but like him cutting his dick off and then eating it? | ||
| Yeah, I think they filmed the whole murder. | ||
| What's the threshold? | ||
| Oh, so it's like a snuff film. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sort of, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the guy requested it. | ||
| That's gnarly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pull it up so we can read it. | ||
| This one's from 2003. I'm not sure if it's the same one. | ||
| Yeah, that's the one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep, a 45-year-old in Berlin. | ||
| I offer myself to you unless you're dying for my live body. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| See, yeah, he posted a personal ad saying, Seeking well-built man, 18 to 30 years old for slaughter. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| For slaughter. | ||
| He wrote, I offer myself to you and will let you dine from my live body, not butchery, dining. | ||
| Whoever really, all caps, wants to do it, will need a real, all caps, victim, all caps, exclamation point. | ||
| The two started swapping increasingly explicit emails, and on March 9, 2001, Braden took a day off work, never to return. | ||
| He sold everything he owned, including his treasured sports car, wiped his computer hard drive, and bought a one-way ticket to Castle near Frankfurt. | ||
| Armin met him off the train. | ||
| They bought painkillers at a chemical shop and headed back to the house. | ||
| At first, Brandon's got cold feet and wanted to return to Berlin. | ||
| Muse said, but he reconsidered, swallowed painkillers and medication to make him sleepy, he said. | ||
| Now, do it. | ||
| Muse set the video camera rolling and went to work with a kitchen knife. | ||
| Wow, dude. | ||
| We went into the bedroom. | ||
| How do you say his name? | ||
| The bathroom. | ||
| The bathroom. | ||
| How do you say his name? | ||
| Muse? | ||
| M-E-I? Muse? | ||
| Muse told the police... | ||
| Brandis lay in the bath so the blood could flow away, and Brandis slowly began to lose consciousness. | ||
| Muse passed the time reading a Star Trek novel. | ||
| When the Berliner finally passed out, Muse cut his throat. | ||
| He was consumed over a number of months. | ||
| The 30 kilos of flesh he had put in his freezer. | ||
| Mews went on the internet in search of a new victim. | ||
| Oh, so he became a taste for this. | ||
| Frustrated that he could only find people looking for cannibal role plays, Mews began boasting about Brandis. | ||
| Someone from the chat room informed the federal police who swooped in on Armand Mews' house in December, 10th last, surprising the coy cannibal and startling the unsuspecting neighbors. | ||
| Now that's that sociopath-psychopath thing you were saying earlier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because are you a psychopath or are you a sociopath at that point? | ||
| I mean, how do you not feel empathy even for a guy who's telling you to kill you, but you're just looking to kill somebody? | ||
| Because you have a taste for blood now. | ||
| It became his thing, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet whatever he did during the day was boring. | ||
| And I bet that, as psychotic as it is, was exciting. | ||
| And then he became... | ||
| A serial killer. | ||
| Chasing that feeling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is it, Jamie? | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| He's got it. | ||
| I found a website that had seven or something interesting facts about this guy. | ||
| This is the first one. | ||
| He sauteed and ate the penis with his victim. | ||
| Yeah, that was the story, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they cooked it together. | ||
| Sauteed it? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at that image. | ||
| That's not really how it went down. | ||
| Yeah, that's enough, though. | ||
| Does it say how they sauteed the penis? | ||
| It's too chewy for either of them to enjoy, so they proceeded to fry it up with some of his flesh and fat and a bit of garlic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude. | |
| That's hard. | ||
| I mean, that's not hard. | ||
| I guess it's like you're worried about the end, right? | ||
| And you just say, I'm going to take control. | ||
| I'm going to bring the end on. | ||
| And here it is. | ||
| We're eating my dick. | ||
| This is over. | ||
| We're eating my dick. | ||
| This is not going to last. | ||
| Eat my dick. | ||
| And then he goes into the tub to die out from warm water with his dick. | ||
| Dickhole bleeding out. | ||
| Just really insane stuff. | ||
| I mean, to live through that, by the way. | ||
| Well, you've got to think that there's just such a wide range of crazy people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's some crazy people like that that want to be eaten, and some crazy people want to eat you. | ||
| And if they find each other... | ||
| That's the beauty of the internet. | ||
| You can do that now. | ||
| You couldn't do that back in the Donner era or even the 90s when the Brazilian soccer team ate each other. | ||
| How long do you think that guy could have kept it together? | ||
| If he just ate that one dude before he could find another guy that would let him eat him. | ||
| If that was his thing, would he just start murdering people? | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Would he go, Dexter? | ||
| And that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Bad people, yeah. | ||
| That's fucking terrifying. | ||
| I mean, just to go there and kill the guy. | ||
| Read a Star Trek novel, by the way. | ||
| While the guy's bleeding out in a tub after you ate his dick. | ||
| That's some psychopath shit. | ||
| Picking dick out of your teeth. | ||
| Not that I'm not sharing with you guys. | ||
| There are pictures of this online. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| Don't do this. | ||
| I don't need this. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't want to say, yeah. | ||
| So dick is too chewy. | ||
| I was like, don't do this. | ||
| Whatever you're going to do, don't do this. | ||
| It said the jurors had to seek therapy after they watched the video. | ||
| Oh, of course they did. | ||
| Of course they did, man. | ||
| Of course they did. | ||
| Imagine being a juror and they force you to watch that video. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to see you eat a dick. | ||
| And you're the only ones watching it, right? | ||
| Because you've got to think that it's not like they're broadcasting it on television. | ||
| I mean, on Fear Factor, you guys did it like a, it was always like the big thing of like eating somebody's penis, right? | ||
| Or something. | ||
| Something's penis. | ||
| Basically every day. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Bull penis. | ||
| One time they had to eat dicks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, they had to eat like bull dick, deer dick, pig dick, something like that. | ||
| I forget what the dick were, but it was a bunch of different kinds of dicks. | ||
| No human dick. | ||
| It's just something so strange. | ||
| I had a bit about it. | ||
| Never in my life did I think that I'd be standing in front of a girl with a plate full of animal dicks going, you can do it. | ||
| Hang in there. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Control your mind. | ||
| Control your mind. | ||
| Coaching them through it. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Through eating pig penis. | ||
| Pig dick. | ||
| But it's like you can't... | ||
| You can't kill yourself. | ||
| It's not legal to kill yourself. | ||
| It's illegal. | ||
| Suicide's illegal. | ||
| And it's not legal to eat people. | ||
| And even if someone tells you to kill them and eat them, you're not allowed to. | ||
| Even in Germany. | ||
| That's assisted suicide, right? | ||
| Technically? | ||
| Yeah, but it's cannibalism, too. | ||
| We don't allow that. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mostly. | |
| Humanity doesn't allow that, right? | ||
| Mostly. | ||
| There's some tribes. | ||
| There's a few tribes that still practice cannibalism. | ||
| Particularly... | ||
| I guess I was reading... | ||
| I'm just not interested in what a human tastes like. | ||
| Well, it's probably not good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Or gross. | ||
| Yeah, we eat a lot of trash. | ||
| Cannibalism. | ||
| There's no laws against cannibalism per se, but in most, if not all states, they've enacted laws that indirectly make it impossible to legally obtain and consume the body matter. | ||
| What? | ||
| When you put it that way, yeah, it doesn't sound too appetizing. | ||
| If you can get it. | ||
| The body matter. | ||
| Somehow. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Wasn't there a show on CNN where one of their guys, they wanted him to eat charred flesh? | ||
| Like he was examining different religions. | ||
| Do you remember something along these lines? | ||
| It was like some outrageous thing. | ||
| Was that Gupta? | ||
| Sanjay? | ||
| No, I don't think it was Sanjay Gupta. | ||
| It was someone else. | ||
| He visited... | ||
| All of these different religions and people that live their lives in different weird ways. | ||
| I know the show you're talking about. | ||
| I don't remember that episode. | ||
| You're right, it wasn't Gupta. | ||
| It was another correspondent. | ||
| He eventually got fired for CNN for saying something about Trump, which is hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Reza Aslan. | ||
| Sparks outrage after eating human brain in new show. | ||
| It takes like charcoal. | ||
| See, the problem with that too, by eating a human brain, is that, I mean, maybe these cults or these tribes or whatever he's involved with does do that. | ||
| If the brain has prions, prions are what gives you mad cow disease. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can, yeah, you can get sick from that and die. | ||
| Yuxfeld, what is that name of that? | ||
| Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob Cruxfeld disease. | ||
| It's basically mad cow disease. | ||
| You get it from prions. | ||
| You get it from brain tissue. | ||
| They survive thousands of degrees. | ||
| Yeah, Kruxfeld-Jakob disease. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's a rare degenerative fatal brain disorder and affects about one person. | ||
| So some people get it without cannibalism, but it also does happen. | ||
| See, one person every million worldwide in the United States are about 350 cases per year. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So it must have been really charred, though. | ||
| It doesn't matter, I don't think. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think it does. | ||
| He's still alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he might not have had the prions of someone who has a disease. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But if that person did, that's why it has to be the temperature that it has to be cooked at. | ||
| It's supposed to be insane. | ||
| I think prions can survive more than a thousand degrees for a long period of time. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's one of the fears of, like, mad cow disease. | ||
| Like, you really are not going to be able to cook it well enough to keep that shit from getting in your bloodstream. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| See, Google how long... | ||
| Jamie, you're Googling off the chain today. | ||
| You got extra Google. | ||
| A lot of flesh talk today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was just sucking up stuff about it. | ||
| What temperature do prions survive in? | ||
| Because I think it's more than a thousand degrees and they can still survive. | ||
| Which I remember reading that going, oh, this is terrible. | ||
| Mad cow disease. | ||
| Zombies. | ||
| Zombies, yeah, exactly. | ||
| I mean, you hunt your food, so you're not worried about that. | ||
| Yeah, but you should be worried because there's a thing called chronic wasting disease. | ||
| And chronic wasting disease is essentially a form of, like, mad cow disease, like a very similar type of degenerative disease that affects deer, that it's affecting an increasing number of them. | ||
| They're spreading across the country. | ||
| Now, it hasn't made the jump to humans yet, but it could. | ||
| So, I don't want to worry you here, but... | ||
| You can't hunt deer no more, man. | ||
| Rions cannot be destroyed by boiling, alcohol, acid, standard autoclaving methods, or radiation. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Or radiation. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So they're like roaches. | ||
| They'll survive everything. | ||
| Well, you know what they are? | ||
| They're God's poison. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| When God's like, enough. | ||
| Like, no fire, no flames, no ice, no water. | ||
| You ain't fixing this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is coming in hot. | ||
| Yeah, and this is still, you can't... | ||
| Brions are forever. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| The lethal proteins are in the hard-to-kill hall of fame and may be more common than we realize. | ||
| See, this is what I'm talking about. | ||
| So these things, this is what affects people when they get mad cow disease. | ||
| And this is also what it affects, cannibals. | ||
| Kruxfeld-Jakob or Jakob Kruxfeld? | ||
| You got it the first way. | ||
| Kruxfeld-Jakob. | ||
| CJD. Okay. | ||
| Kruxfeld-Jakob disease. | ||
| But it affects cannibals. | ||
| They found out that cannibals in New Zealand... | ||
| New Guinea. | ||
| Cannibals in New Guinea exhibited the same sort of symptoms as people with Cruxfeld-Yakob disease. | ||
| Google that, Jamie. | ||
| I don't fucking hate people. | ||
| Cannibals. | ||
| Cannibals that get Cruxfeld-Yakob disease. | ||
| Those poor cannibals. | ||
| Well, they're eating brain matter. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Yeah, just eat the flesh. | ||
| Fry the flesh. | ||
| Just eat the booty. | ||
|
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|
Oh, here you go. | |
| Only pork butt. | ||
| They evolved their resistance to it. | ||
| Because they were getting it so much. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Good for them. | ||
| The practice of cannibalism in one Papua New Guinea tribe led to the spread of a fatal brain disease called Kuru that caused a devastating epidemic in the group. | ||
| But now some members of the tribe carry a gene that appears to protect against Kuru as well as other so-called prion diseases such as mad cow. | ||
|
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|
So they evolved. | |
| They evolved that generation. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like a superbug. | ||
| Fucking life finds a way, man. | ||
| To eat more life. | ||
| Life finds a way. | ||
| I wonder how long it's going to take before we're physically addicted to phones to the point where you need it to stay alive. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Like you need warm clothes, right? | ||
| In a cold environment. | ||
| You need a warm house. | ||
| How long before you need a phone? | ||
| Like, here's the thing. | ||
| The phone's going to help you. | ||
| It's going to make everything better, but you need it. | ||
| So it's almost like a heart monitor. | ||
| Like, I'm going to need this. | ||
| You have to have it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's going to take generations. | ||
| If you just call it an access point to the internet instead of a phone, a way to access that information. | ||
| Yeah, don't just call it a phone. | ||
| Call it an electronic soul. | ||
| I mean, well, the phone is the only access to that matrix, which is the internet, and that thing's not real, you know, unless you live inside of it. | ||
| It's not real yet. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's drawing you in, though. | ||
| How often do you use your phone every day? | ||
| I mean, obviously, yeah. | ||
| Obviously, right? | ||
| Yeah, we're talking about, yeah. | ||
| Everybody just gives in, obviously. | ||
| Yeah, I'm using it. | ||
| I'm not saying I'm above it. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| And I'm not even sure why. | ||
| Sometimes I'm searching Google News just to see if something's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I'll look at the same news feed. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| Nothing in politics? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What about entertainment? | ||
| Nothing, nothing, nothing. | ||
| How about science? | ||
| Give me some science. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| What do you got for me? | ||
| What do you got for me? | ||
| Just constantly, instead of thinking about what I'm doing, constantly searching for some new data. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, it's happening. | ||
| I mean, we can't get rid of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, you're talking about this generation of kids, this is the two girls, one cup generation. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They get to see it at five years old on their phone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's going to change. | ||
| Yeah, so I think when you're saying that's going to take generations, I mean, it could be a few generations removed from where you don't know any better if you don't have a phone. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So we'd be the faces of death generation, because our parents probably never saw that shit. | ||
| But we definitely did. | ||
| They saw it in the war, son. | ||
| Yeah, they saw it in person. | ||
| We saw it on tape. | ||
| You weren't there, man. | ||
| We were the first bitch-ass generation. | ||
| I mean, my generation, yeah, we're definitely bitch-asses. | ||
| Well, when you go back to World War II, everybody was signing up, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| People just signed up for the war. | ||
| But then they got around to Vietnam. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| Yeah, well, why were we there? | ||
| What the fuck are we doing over there? | ||
| They manipulated that war, though, so that was different. | ||
| World War II, like, you know, Pearl Harbor happened. | ||
| You know, there's no Pearl Harbor that happened for Vietnam. | ||
| Even 9-11, like, you know, like, the guys were signed up to go, you know, quote, unquote, fight those terrorists, you know, this faction of dudes. | ||
| Like how many guys came back from World War II with horrific memories? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Remember Saving Private Ryan? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was one of the best depictions of a historical event and to put it into like real perspective what it probably was like when those guys were getting gunned down on the beach. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't know if it was going to be you or not. | ||
| But it's also, whoa, this is real as fuck. | ||
| And then imagine leaving that and coming back and you just had to be normal. | ||
| Yeah, because most movies that we saw about war, go back to John Wayne movies about war. | ||
| They were never gory. | ||
| It was like, bang! | ||
| And the guy would fall down. | ||
| He would hold his stomach. | ||
| You didn't see anything. | ||
| And then later, even in movies like Apocalypse Now, I mean, it was still wild. | ||
| It still gave you this feeling of war. | ||
| But there was never anywhere near the gore of that scene in Saving Private Ryan. | ||
| When you see people with their legs blown off and their guts hanging out, you're like, holy shit. | ||
| That's war. | ||
| That's what a war really looks like. | ||
| I mean, that's war. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| But we never saw that. | ||
| You never see that unless you're there in the war or unless you're watching a movie like that. | ||
| Because the movies that whitewash it, they give it this feeling of like, oh, you got me! | ||
| I think what they're exposed to as far as their entertainment in the 1940s and then boom you're there and you're seeing real war. | ||
| I mean that'll scare you straight. | ||
| Like why would you want to go fight in that? | ||
| They were scared of the Germans taking over the world. | ||
| They saved the world from the Nazis. | ||
| That's one of those rare... | ||
| That's a great way to put it. | ||
| Save the world from the Nazis. | ||
| ...rare wars where it's not that sloppy. | ||
| It's pretty clear. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You got a real evil... | ||
| These guys are, yeah, they're evil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| ...evil empire. | ||
| You have a legitimate evil empire that's killing people. | ||
| They killed six million Jews. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or whatever the number is. | ||
| What is the number? | ||
| They always... | ||
| Yeah, I said five million one time. | ||
| Is somebody correct? | ||
| They always correct. | ||
| It's always six million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| of millions of people were killed by this one group of humans genocide then and there was um something that history and pictures or one of the one of the twitter accounts that i retweeted a few days ago that had um they showed all these ss officers laughing and with like kids on their laps and the caption was something to the effect of don't ever think that the people that you think of as monsters are not human like Like, humans are capable. | ||
| Regular humans are capable of horrific, monstrous behavior if they all agree to it. | ||
| And so it showed these SS officers and they just look so normal and laughing and ha ha ha. | ||
| Meanwhile, there's these Jewish skeleton people living in a cage just a few yards over. | ||
| Isn't that what a cabaret is about? | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| I was watching the movies on CNN. They're kind of saying cabaret is showing how all these funny, nice people, they're Nazis. | ||
| I didn't see that movie. | ||
| Who's in that movie? | ||
| I forget who's in it, but I know it's like a musical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Liza Minnelli. | |
| Liza Minnelli. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Never saw it. | ||
| Is that what it was really all about? | ||
| I didn't know that either. | ||
| I watched that. | ||
| I learned about it through Tom Hanks' The Movies on CNN. Well, you've obviously never seen The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| It would be clear. | ||
| Sam Elliott's my guy. | ||
| Do you understand why the Nazis are so bad? | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| We haven't had, you know, you're right, we haven't had somebody as evil as the Nazis, right? | ||
| But they've tried to make guys like that, you know? | ||
| The Viet Cong, Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden. | ||
| But that one was clear-cut. | ||
| Like, everybody was like, oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Let's go get Hitler. | ||
| We've got to stop this. | ||
| This motherfucker. | ||
| When you see him scream in front of the crowd, like, Why would you follow that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| They're all high on fucking methamphetamines, aren't they, though? | ||
| Let's say yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Even if we don't know. | ||
| Eat that, Nazis! | ||
| He was tripping. | ||
| That video of him, he was definitely tripping. | ||
| He was rubbing his cane on his dick. | ||
| He was tweaking. | ||
| But a whole country was into that. | ||
| They're just like, yeah, yeah, this is our guy. | ||
| We're going to do whatever he says. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They didn't even know what it meant to have someone like him run a country back then. | ||
| How drugs like Pervitin and cocaine fueled the Nazis' rise and fall. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Despite Hitler's anti-drug rhetoric, Nazi Germany used a little courage pill called Pervitin. | ||
| To take Europe by storm, and it turns out it was pure methamphetamine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| There it is. | ||
| Pervitin methamphetamine hydrochloride. | ||
| Who made that? | ||
| It looks like the fucking Germans did, because it's in German. | ||
| I know what I'm saying. | ||
| What company? | ||
| What company's making Pervitin? | ||
| Some Nazi company. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So they were just giving out everybody meth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Instead of methed up country. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That'll kill six million Jews, yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It says, still couldn't ditch an Axis Power meeting, so Hitler's personal physician injected the Fuhrer with a drug called Eukadol. | ||
| Think oxycodone combined with cocaine to perk him up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The physician took a significant risk in doing so. | ||
| After all, Hitler was prone to latching on to addictive substances and refusing to let go. | ||
| But in this case, the injection seemed warranted. | ||
| Hitler was doubled over with violent spastic constipation, refusing to speak to anyone. | ||
| Immediately after the first injection and despite his doctor's wishes, a revived Hitler ordered another injection. | ||
| Hitler then left for the meeting with the gusto of a soldier half his age. | ||
| Okay, so it was like, yeah. | ||
| He was methed up, man. | ||
| Yeah, he thought he was taking, like, super pills or whatever he was taking. | ||
| Liquid cocaine and meth and oxycodone. | ||
| Hitler reportedly spoke for several hours without stopping. | ||
| At the meeting with Mussolini, Hitler reportedly spoke for several hours without stopping. | ||
| The Italian dictator, who sat massaging his own back, dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief and sighing, had hoped to convince Hitler to let Italy drop out of the war. | ||
| He never got the chance. | ||
| You never got a word in edgewise. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So, can you imagine being poor Mussolini? | ||
| You're over there talking to Hitler. | ||
| He's methed out of his fucking mind. | ||
| And you're trying to tell him, look, Italian, we don't want to go to war. | ||
| We want to back out of this. | ||
| We'd like to just kick it back. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Good luck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We hope for the best... | |
| And Hitler comes over all messed up. | ||
| Have you hung around Spikers? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here it says, Jamie's trying to show us this. | ||
| This is what, he won't let it go. | ||
| This is about one episode amid Hitler's almost daily drug use, which included barbiturates, bull semen. | ||
| Bull semen. | ||
| Bull semen. | ||
| Testosterone. | ||
| Opiates. | ||
| And stimulants such as Pervitin, a courage pill. | ||
| So he was taking meth. | ||
| Isn't bull semen like taurine or whatever? | ||
| Bull semen is taurine? | ||
| It sounds like it would be. | ||
| Yeah, like Red Bull. | ||
| It's supposed to be like something. | ||
| It's supposed to be like some kind of... | ||
| Bull jizz? | ||
| Yeah, bull jizz. | ||
| Take that, Red Bull. | ||
| That's, again, some serious stoner. | ||
| I've heard taurine. | ||
| Am I right? | ||
| Is he right? | ||
| Taurine is bull semen. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Taurine is a key ingredient in red bull, monster, rock star, and other energy. | ||
| It's an organic molecule, not an amino acid, named for the Latin taurus, which means ox or bull, because originally taurine was extracted from bull semen. | ||
| Red bull semen. | ||
| Originally, taurine was extracted that way, but it is an ingredient in bull semen. | ||
| So the taurine in Red Bull probably doesn't come from bull semen, but taurine is in bull semen. | ||
| So Hitler was getting his taurine right from the tap. | ||
| From the source. | ||
| Do you think you just suck the bull's dick? | ||
| The best way is to suck upon it. | ||
| Suck the dick! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get it from the top when it is fresh and it's 700% more potent. | |
| The Fuhras just gets down there. | ||
| They hold the bull back with straps and buckles. | ||
| It's kicking. | ||
| And Hitler gets his sloppy Nazi mouth right over that fat bull hog. | ||
| And that is apparently the origin of that upper lip mustache. | ||
| That upper lip mustache was to catch all the succulent drops when he's choking on Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like... | |
| The flavor saver. | ||
| And that giant bull dick is pummeling the back of his throat and fills it up. | ||
| When it comes out of his nose, because a lot of the jizz comes out of his nose, that's just enough mustache to catch the jizz. | ||
| So that's why he had that mustache. | ||
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| I can't believe that many people follow that kind of guy. | ||
| I mean, like, and everybody's just cracked out. | ||
| It's a perfect jizz-catching mustache. | ||
| If you think about it, if it's coming out of your nose, which it does do, right? | ||
| Like milk does. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You know, you cough when you're drinking milk and it comes out of your nose. | ||
| Some semen's coming out of your nose. | ||
| Semen's coming out of your nose. | ||
| And he's just, yeah. | ||
| He's catching it. | ||
| Savoring it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're saying... | ||
| I mean, I'm just saying. | ||
| How many people were in Germany at that time? | ||
| How many people were in... | ||
| Millions. | ||
| Were SS soldiers? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| How many people actually joined? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think you had to be a part of it, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Otherwise you were... | ||
| The Hitler Youth as well? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a whole... | ||
| Yeah, the whole society was that. | ||
| It was all... | ||
| Yeah, it became Nazi Germany. | ||
| National Socialist. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What is the actual... | ||
| What does Nazi actually stand for? | ||
| I mean, didn't shut up for seven hours? | ||
| Dude, poor Mussolini. | ||
| National socialism, I guess. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| The National Socialist German Workers' Party is what it was. | ||
| Oh, so they were socialists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine poor Mussolini. | |
| Didn't he kill more people? | ||
| I don't know how many he killed. | ||
| Stalin, didn't he kill the most? | ||
| He killed the most, yeah. | ||
| He's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of Mass Murderers. | ||
| He's got the points record, too. | ||
| Man. | ||
| When you're a person like that, and you didn't used to be a Stalin, you were just a person, and then all of a sudden you're in a position of power, and then all of a sudden you're responsible for the death of untold millions of people. | ||
| Oh yeah, almost tens. | ||
| So Mao was the most by a long shot. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Look at Mao. | ||
| So Stalin, it's Hitler, and then Stalin. | ||
| 17. Yeah. | ||
| No Mussolini on the list, okay. | ||
| But Mao, Mao was like 400 million, right? | ||
| It says 78, but yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Okay, Google Mao might have been responsible for 400 million, because there was an article I was reading yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| 400 million people? | ||
| Yeah, they revised the amount of people that they think were dead directly because of Mao. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You're saying directly killed? | ||
| 400 people? | ||
| Some insane number of people were killed during Mao's reign. | ||
| What are they saying? | ||
| There's a place called Mao's Kitchen. | ||
| Maybe I added a zero to it. | ||
| Maybe I added a zero. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| So 45 million. | ||
| And the other one said 70? | ||
| So it's between 45 and whatever the other number is. | ||
| So he's number one with a bullet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's the guy responsible for the most death during his time. | ||
| Again though, there was a restaurant here in Los Angeles called Mao's Kitchen. | ||
| That's disrespectful as fuck. | ||
| Tyson has Mao on his arm. | ||
| Oh, does it? | ||
| Well, I mean, you know, he's supposed to kill people. | ||
| Well, when he was in jail, I think, he probably read some philosophy from Mao. | ||
| I mean, yeah, those guys, I mean, those guys write, they write good books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| Mein Kampf is, uh, it's pretty good. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Did you read it? | ||
| I read it in English, yeah. | ||
| Are you allowed to read it now? | ||
| Like, when you read it, you're probably allowed to read it. | ||
| Like, if you buy it... | ||
| I don't think you can buy it today, yeah, but it's... | ||
| If you try to buy Mein Kampf on your Kindle, would you get flagged? | ||
| If you're, like, sales stuff, it's, like, it's literally, it's just, like, talking about the sale. | ||
| I mean, it's obviously talking about, you know... | ||
| Killing Jews, but... | ||
| What is it talking about? | ||
| The sale of... | ||
| It's talking about how they can overcome. | ||
| And it's like his struggle is basically just... | ||
| It is a propaganda book, but it's like... | ||
| From a sales perspective, you're just like, I see where he's coming from. | ||
| Not saying that... | ||
| I'm condoning it, but I'm saying you're like, okay, there's so much passion in it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like a memoir. | ||
| So he's selling to the people that they can overcome the economic situation that Germany's in and they can rise above. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And if you tried to buy that today to read it, people would assume... | ||
| I was young when I read it, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can? | |
| I would think it was, yeah. | ||
| Oh, you can buy it on Amazon. | ||
| You can buy it on Amazon. | ||
| But come on, son. | ||
| You know you're on a list. | ||
| I am now. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I read it in the library. | ||
| They had it in the library. | ||
| But if you buy it today, you don't think you get on a list. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, you definitely have a list. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| If you buy a Confederate flag, you're on a list now. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| If you buy a Dukes of Hazzard DVD set. | ||
| You're on the list? | ||
| You're on a list. | ||
| Were you doing Jeff Foxworthy? | ||
| If it's one on the cover, the one with the General Lee leaping over the fucking canyon with the Confederate flag, clearly. | ||
| Some book that, I think it was maybe the one you talk about a lot, but I remember in the late 90s, people were saying, if you went to the bookstore to buy this book, you're on a list. | ||
| And if you had to go buy it with cash and wear a hoodie and cover your face and shit. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| It was always those stupid rumors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was the book? | ||
| I think it was the cross book that you've talked about. | ||
| The Sacred Cross? | ||
| Oh, The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Was it really? | ||
| That's the one I would have heard of. | ||
| My rumor might get passed around a lot for five years or something. | ||
| Do you remember A Course in Miracles? | ||
| A Course in Miracles was a book that was going around, I want to say, in the early, early 90s. | ||
| There was a bunch of people that were telling you to read some book by this couple and they were channeling an angel who wrote this book. | ||
| It's one of those books where I don't know if it was any good because everybody that recommended it was so annoying. | ||
| Like Eat, Pray, Love? | ||
| Was that the other one? | ||
| The Secret? | ||
| Well, it was extremely spiritual, air quotes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it was all about how to live. | ||
| And it might be an amazing book, but I remember everybody that wanted to recommend it, I always had like a... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I was a young man at the time, and I was very dismissive about a lot of things that I wouldn't be dismissive of today. | ||
| But I remember it was like one of those books where annoying people loved it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You've got to read this book, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, this book transformed me. | ||
| It's a gift. | ||
| I'm giving you this book because I want you to read it and it's going to transform you too. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is me giving my love to you. | ||
| Maybe I'm reading a book about someone who said they were channeling an angel and that's nonsense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| How about that? | ||
| How about I have to think about the fact that it's a nonsense person. | ||
| There's a website for it. | ||
| Foundation for inner peace. | ||
| Look at the light. | ||
| It looks like the Dianetic scene. | ||
| It's very cultish. | ||
| What's the origin of it? | ||
| Am I correct? | ||
| Did it come from someone who channeled an angel or some shit like that? | ||
| Isn't that the idea? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, let's Google what is the origin of Containing curriculum, aiming at assisting readers in achieving spiritual transformation. | ||
| Am I conflating this with some other book? | ||
| We were talking Mein Kampf. | ||
| It's almost the same thing. | ||
| But where someone said that someone wrote it for them, that it was written as they were channeling. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Someone went on Oprah to talk about it in 1992. Did they say that? | ||
| Am I making this up? | ||
| I'm trying to see what it says. | ||
| I'm reading it too quick. | ||
| So it's in Oprah's Book Club. | ||
| It's on Johnny Carson, too, also. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This book got around. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't think you're going to find it from there. | ||
| Just Google what is the origin story for A Course in Miracles. | ||
| But it was one of those books where if you were dating a yoga teacher, you'd go to her house, she'd have it on the coffee table. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| On your way to the vegan restaurant, let's go. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, because you think, like, if the Nazis do win, that does become, like, the coffee book. | ||
| Mein Kampf. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| If the Nazis won, it's super inspirational. | ||
| And in her voice, she identified as Jesus. | ||
| and interacting with her and acting as a stimulus, triggering a series of inner experiences that were understood to her as that. | ||
| And that's what she returned. | ||
| So the same guy who wrote the Mormon Bible Joseph Smith. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's what it is. | ||
| So I'm correct. | ||
| So it's like a Bible. | ||
| Well, it's like one of those things, like maybe that happened. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Maybe that happened. | ||
| I mean, sold some books, obviously. | ||
| Or maybe you're crazy. | ||
| Maybe you're out of your fucking mind, and you want people to think that you're special, so you wrote these rules on how people should live, and they're pretty good. | ||
| They resonate well. | ||
| They make sense. | ||
| Sounds like the original Bible, too. | ||
| Yeah, you're not 100% crazy. | ||
| This is good structure. | ||
| We assume that if someone tells a crazy story like that, they're 100% crazy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't have any good ideas. | ||
| Like you could be a fucking crazy person with a couple good ideas. | ||
| Like, Mike is fucking crazy, but I'm telling you. | ||
| They said J.K. Rowling was crazy. | ||
| Oh, she's got to be crazy. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So then she's got these... | ||
| All that Harry Potter shit, writing about little boys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all you're writing about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Little boys and magic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Magic, you could be a little girl and be with those little boys. | |
| Everyone would be happy and happy and happy. | ||
| I think you can be a woman and do that, right? | ||
| You can be a dude and do that, because then you're like... | ||
| Yeah, a dude writing about little boys? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Yeah, that's definitely a flag there. | ||
| You used to be able to get away with it, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Dr. Seuss, all's good. | ||
| Mark Twain wrote about Huckleberry Finn and those boys. | ||
| I thought you were going to snort that. | ||
| I was like, oh. | ||
| All this meth talk. | ||
| Mushroom elixir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| You want some? | ||
| What's it going to do to me? | ||
| Lion's mane? | ||
| Juice me up? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's good for your brain. | ||
| Oh, perfect. | ||
| It doesn't taste bad either. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Is that actual lion's mane? | ||
| Yeah, lion's mane mushroom. | ||
| Not lions, like a lion lion. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a mushroom. | ||
| I just drink it all the time and I feel like I'd be rude if I don't offer you some. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You're the man. | ||
| I was going to correct something you asked me earlier. | ||
| UFC 21 was when that changed. | ||
| There was a significant rule change and they joined with the Council of Mixed Martial Arts Commission. | ||
| There were prelim bouts that had two rounds that were only five minutes then. | ||
| Three five minute rounds and championship rounds changed to five minutes. | ||
| That's when they added the 10 point must system. | ||
| So prelim rounds were two rounds, championship rounds were three. | ||
| Championships were five. | ||
| Everything else was three. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So before that it was two, though, you said? | ||
| But this was also pre-Dana and pre-Frititas. | ||
| So they were still mixed, like the Gracie stuff they were doing, so they just had five-minute rounds until the thing was over. | ||
| Unlimited five-minute rounds. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I remember that shit. | ||
| That was madness, but it wasn't as bad in terms of madness as the Japanese ones. | ||
| The Japanese ones were fucking crazy. | ||
| They did so many nutty things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had so many, like, crazy freak shows. | ||
| And they still do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They got this lady named Gabby Garcia. | ||
| She's like 6'2", 240 pounds. | ||
| Amazon. | ||
| And they have her fighting, like, housewives. | ||
| She beats the fuck out of these ladies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And it's all consensual, right? | ||
| Like when they're signing up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They like freak shows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, yeah, look at their game shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| What is going on with that? | ||
| It's just, because I think they're such a repressed country, aren't they? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah, I think this is like, I don't think they have like bending machines where like guys have like... | ||
| There's Gabby. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| She's beating up housewives? | ||
| Look at the guns. | ||
| Yeah, pull up a video of her giving some motherfucking... | ||
| That's Ronda Rousey. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| That's Gabby? | ||
| That fight's real. | ||
| So look at the size of that woman that she has to fight. | ||
| I mean, what is up with the definition though, Gabby? | ||
| Mexican supplements. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| Nice. | ||
| She's Gab. | ||
| Keep it 100%. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| You're bigger than your trainer. | ||
| That's Vandelli Silva. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, she's a big lady. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, anyway, Japan loves that. | ||
| That was when she was real thin. | ||
| At one point in time, she'd gotten real ripped and small. | ||
| And then got right back up to Giganti again to win in these fucking Japanese events. | ||
| Is she in UFC? No, she fights for, I think, I don't know which one. | ||
| Might be Ryzen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I see. | |
| Doesn't say which one. | ||
| Yeah, why is she not like a... | ||
| I mean, she's bigger than every female in UFC. Yeah, she's giant. | ||
| So she's got no division. | ||
| Yeah, she's giant. | ||
| She's 6'2". | ||
| I mean, she's in the 240-pound weight class, somewhere like that. | ||
| So she's a heavyweight. | ||
| She would be a heavyweight male. | ||
| Right, you can't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gabby. | ||
| I mean, there's no heavyweight female weight class. | ||
| That was her a couple weeks ago. | ||
| She's not that big anymore. | ||
| Oh, she's shrinking down. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| What up? | ||
| Still probably 200 pounds. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Okay, so she's jacked and tan again. | ||
| She looks great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What up, Gab? | ||
| She's strong as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she's a world champion jiu-jitsu player, too. | ||
| So she grabs ahold of these girls and just pummels them. | ||
| But they had Bob Sapp back in the day, like I said. | ||
| He was like 375 pounds. | ||
| He was fighting guys who were in like the 200s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He smashed so many people. | ||
| There were so many guys like that that fought in Japan where they had these freak shows. | ||
| I mean, craziest. | ||
| I saw one the other day, like, a thing where, like, a woman and her nipples are just, like, almost like cones. | ||
| And it's, like, the game shows, like, these guys are just, like, put their fingers in the... | ||
| It's just wild. | ||
| I mean, there's just so many wild things in Japan. | ||
| Like, you can see things like that. | ||
| It's gnarly, bro. | ||
| Well, they are the birth of a lot of those crazy game shows, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I mean, a lot of the game shows, like even Fear Factor, would that have even happened if it wasn't for the crazy Japanese shows? | ||
| What's in the water over there to make them think like that? | ||
| And we were saying they're repressed, but it's also, I mean, why are they so repressed? | ||
| Have you ever seen Bazooka Man? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| Bazooka Man was a Japanese game show where a guy with a bazooka would show up at people's houses. | ||
| With like a real live bazooka? | ||
| So he'd be in bed. | ||
| He'd be in bed sleeping. | ||
| And Bazooka Man would shoot the bazooka at your wall above your head while you were asleep. | ||
| This is a real... | ||
| They would film it. | ||
| What? | ||
| They would film it. | ||
| This thing would explode above your head. | ||
| So he shoots a rocket launcher through your fucking wall. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And this guy's like... | ||
| They wake up fucking screaming. | ||
| There's a hole in the wall above their head. | ||
| And the audience in Japan is like... | ||
| You have it on TV. You can find it. | ||
| You can find the videos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bruh. | |
| Jamie will find it. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's a real thing. | ||
| Might have had a different name. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Maybe Rocketman. | ||
| Bazooka Man. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was Bazooka Man. | ||
| And it's a real rocket. | ||
| Whatever it is, it's firing out of a cannon that's on his shoulders and it's hitting the wall and it explodes. | ||
| Google a Japanese game show where they blow up a wall behind... | ||
| I mean, how do you have a heart attack when you wake up? | ||
| They're dead asleep. | ||
| Yeah, you easily could. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You must sound like a death warrant before you... | ||
| For sure you could definitely get a heart attack, though. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And these guys are dead asleep, and they all sign up for this. | ||
| This is all consensual. | ||
| Basically. | ||
| As far as I understand. | ||
| I don't think they sign up for it. | ||
| I think they're just allowed to do stuff like that, and then they give you money. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| If you survive, right. | ||
| Well, I don't think they have the same concept of lawsuits that we do over here. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You got it? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| On my way to finding it, though, I found one. | ||
| This is called The Bum Show, where girls would put their bum in a hole, and a guy would... | ||
| Kiss it? | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| Right on TV. Hmm. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Can't comment on that one. | ||
| They have different ways of living. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| They have a different style. | ||
| Can't hate it. | ||
| Can't be hating on them. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Is it China or Japan where they have these crazy work hours, right? | ||
| Like factory workers. | ||
| The whole economy is just like work all the time. | ||
| And they have vending machines where you can just like pocket pussies basically. | ||
| Oof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The guys will just use those things. | ||
| They'll toss them and just go back to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I want to say that's Japan. | ||
| Well, they're both known for their work hours. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So sex just isn't a part of the routine. | ||
| I was reading something on Huawei. | ||
| Huawei's a Chinese phone company, and the guy had a bed underneath his desk. | ||
| It's the craziest image. | ||
| He's in his cubicle, and his stuff is above him, and he's got a bed laid out under his cubicle, and he's asleep. | ||
| With glasses, at work, exhausted. | ||
| It's like an 18-hour day, probably. | ||
| Making cell phones so we can take selfies. | ||
| China has like the biggest economy though. | ||
| The biggest? | ||
| Yeah, don't they? | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Aren't they number one? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Chinese. | ||
| I've been pretty right on this whole episode, Joe. | ||
| You've been very right. | ||
| You've been shockingly right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| So, largest economy. | ||
| China? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what's number two? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Is America number two? | ||
| Somebody needs to tell Trump. | ||
| He keeps saying number one, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sorry to hurt anybody that didn't know that, but China's number one. | ||
| I guess it depends on what you're using to gauge economy as a general. | ||
| It's not just a thing. | ||
| Oh, it's not subjective. | ||
| I'm sorry, it's not objective? | ||
| Yeah, like the GDP or, you know, people, because it says our GDP is $19.39 trillion and China's is $12, which is their nominal, but over more people, I guess it's $23 trillion, so that's technically higher. | ||
| That's why it goes, I don't know what you want to... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, what you're basing your economy on. | ||
| So GDP, we're killing it, but as far as largest economy, it's the Chinese. | ||
| Yeah, they got way more people, obviously. | ||
| Okay, so that's probably why, though. | ||
| They're the largest economy because they have more people. | ||
| A billion humans, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is India bigger? | ||
| Are they the biggest country still? | ||
| China? | ||
| That's another good question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it's close. | ||
| It's a hot race between China and India. | ||
| Yeah, there's stuff from earlier this year saying China and India are gaining on the U.S. as the world's top economy. | ||
| Are they poised to take over next year? | ||
| So I don't think... | ||
| It really just depends on what you want to... | ||
| Imagine if Trump is on to something with all these sanctions. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| You were talking about that health insurance thing earlier. | ||
| I learned a weird thing a British comic had told me when I was over in London last year doing the roast battle over there. | ||
| And he was like, you know, you guys don't have free healthcare, but your healthcare is better. | ||
| He had a bronchial thing. | ||
| He's like, normally it takes like two weeks for that to cure over here. | ||
| He's like, I went to America, it took like 48 hours. | ||
| That's what we're paying for, just the better drugs. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Not just better drugs, but probably more motivated doctors. | ||
| Because they're getting paid. | ||
| But are they more motivated to keep people in and out of their office and shuffle them quick and stuff them up with pills versus where in England they're not motivated by a quota. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Maybe they're just... | ||
| Just trying to help. | ||
| Maybe it's different because they get paid a certain amount and healthcare is free and they're not motivated to earn additional profit by, you know, suggesting surgeries or making someone get on medication. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, but it's all, I mean, if you're talking about, listen, I'm a doctor, I'm making money over here, right? | ||
| Wouldn't you want to keep a guy, you know, sick as possible so you can make more money out of him? | ||
| Yeah, but that's like, again, it's a dark conspiracy type thing. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| How many people are really thinking like that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I'm saying like two weeks compared to like 48 hours? | ||
| I think it's just a shittier system. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Maybe the argument can be made that profit-based systems are more efficient because people are more aggressive because they want to make money. | ||
| So they get things handled quicker. | ||
| And they believe in it more. | ||
| It's almost like I'm getting what I paid for. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it would be nice if people didn't go out without healthcare, though. | ||
| The problem is, like, the idea that healthcare is not a human right. | ||
| Well, if that's not a human right... | ||
| What else do we have? | ||
| If someone gets hurt and you're just going to let them die because they don't contribute enough change, you know, they didn't put enough money in the box. | ||
| Yeah, I'm basically bankrupt now because I got a scraped knee. | ||
| It seems crazy that we would somehow or another keep people from medical care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Like, you don't have enough money. | ||
| Like, that should be like the number one thing that they take care of. | ||
| Food and medical care. | ||
| Food, shelter, medical care. | ||
| Those things, you know, not necessarily in that order. | ||
| The fact that, oh, medical, you're on your own. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| How come we can't pay for that? | ||
| Well, we can pay for this and pay for that, and we can fund that and fund this, and we're going to go to the moon and Mars. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't have health care. | ||
| But then again, it's like people are so resistant to socialism. | ||
| They don't want anybody taking over. | ||
| The Nazis weren't? | ||
| No, they fucked up, though. | ||
| Look where that ended. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| They're all meth. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| They're methed up. | ||
| Maybe non-methed up socialists is the way to go. | ||
| But the problem is people are almost all methed up here now with the fucking Adderall thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or they're on downers like Xanax. | ||
| Yeah, one or the other. | ||
| But Adderall might as well be meth. | ||
| For some people. | ||
| It's cocaine. | ||
| It's amphetamine. | ||
| It's an amphetamine. | ||
| It's fucking straight up amphetamine. | ||
| And some people it helps. | ||
| Some people it works for them. | ||
| But other people they just chew it all day long and talk crazy. | ||
| Talk crazy. | ||
| Foaming at the mouth. | ||
| Everyone's against them. | ||
| Coke is the most annoying drug. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| It's the worst. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just on an annoyance level, because people are just talking about nothing the whole time. | ||
| They just want to talk to you. | ||
| They want to talk right in your face. | ||
| They're super pumped up, like Hitler. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| They injected Hitler with two doses of oxycodone and cocaine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he had, hit me again! | ||
| The doctor's like, we can't hit you again! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hit me again! | |
| They hit him again, and he goes directly to Mussolini's house. | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| Like, he's so annoying. | ||
| Coke-fueled, five-hour rant and rant. | ||
| Poor Mussolini. | ||
| I just want to make a pizza. | ||
| I want to hang out. | ||
| I want to go to Capri. | ||
| I want to go fishing with my grandson. | ||
| Yeah, Hitler's just like, no, the joke! | ||
| And just losing his mind. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Imagine that this whole thing was fueled by meth. | ||
| That was responsible for the whole fucking chaos of it all. | ||
| Meth-fueled. | ||
| Because if you stop and think about history, there's obviously been some horrific campaigns. | ||
| Whether it's Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan. | ||
| What are they on? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| What are they taking? | ||
| That's what I was going to say. | ||
| If these guys in the Nazi party were all on meth, which makes total sense. | ||
| They were so psychotic. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| What were the fucking Mongols on? | ||
| Were they just drunk? | ||
| Yeah, was that the opium den time? | ||
| That wasn't dens, I know that. | ||
| Oh yeah, they definitely must have had opium dens, right? | ||
| They must have had that. | ||
| Is that their era? | ||
| The Genghis Khan? | ||
| Opium's been around forever. | ||
| Everybody had opium. | ||
| But that mellows you out, though. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That should make you a killer. | ||
| Well, the Vikings were into mushrooms, which is weird. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like psychedelic mushrooms? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Psilocybin. | ||
| Yeah, they were into psilocybin. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They would take psilocybin, and they would fucking go on crusades and start smashing heads. | ||
| Well, they're also, you know, they're groomed to be like that, so I think, yeah, psilocybin's going to take you where you want to go. | ||
| Yeah, because it's also their world, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Their world is like cutting and slashing and attacking. | ||
| The idea of that not being there, that's not even an option. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you talk about Valhalla. | ||
| I mean, that's what they're thinking about. | ||
| They're just like, we're just killing people. | ||
| That's like, it's heaven. | ||
| We get to kill everybody. | ||
| What a crazy reward for murder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You go to a heaven and you drink with Odin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gonna go to Valhalla. | ||
| Just hacking people apart with swords. | ||
| Just can't wait to see Odin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thrust. | |
| And then you take that arrow in the neck. | ||
| And then you get to go to Valhalla. | ||
| Happy you're going to go to Valhalla. | ||
| You ever watch that show Vikings? | ||
| No, people tell me it's great though. | ||
| Is it great? | ||
| Pretty fucking good, man. | ||
| Up until like season four or five, Mrs. Rogan had to stop. | ||
| No, I didn't shake it anymore. | ||
| It was a lot of fucking pretty extreme violence. | ||
| She can't handle it? | ||
| It gets a little gnarly. | ||
| And there's not enough good people that you root for. | ||
| That's the Vikings. | ||
| Everybody's kind of a piece of shit. | ||
| You're like, why am I watching these piece of shits rape and murder each other? | ||
| The brothers would turn on brothers. | ||
| I mean, it's dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are like the true Caucasians, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Message. | ||
| They're the northern warriors. | ||
| The ones who escaped from the southern climates and figured out how to survive in the coldest fucking places in the world. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And there's like a nature rule, not a rule, like a law in terms of like the size of things that live where it's cold. | ||
| So like if you have a deer in Mexico... | ||
| It might be 100 pounds. | ||
| But if you have a deer in Saskatchewan, it might be like 300 pounds. | ||
| Same species. | ||
| There's something about real cold climate makes things grow bigger and stronger. | ||
| It's reacting to the environment, right? | ||
| It's something about body temperature as well. | ||
| In order to maintain body temperature, they need a lot of mass. | ||
| And so, like, polar bears are the biggest of the bears. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They live in the coldest fucking place. | ||
| And those Caucasian Vikings are the biggest dudes. | ||
| Iceland motherfuckers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Icelandic, just giant dudes. | ||
| Like that mountain from Game of Thrones. | ||
| He's an Icelandic guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what that is. | ||
| That's gnarly. | ||
| That's gnarly. | ||
| And he went to play basketball. | ||
| He went to play basketball. | ||
| Is he in MMA yet? | ||
| He didn't play basketball. | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, I don't think he knows how to fight. | ||
| There was a video of him sparring with Conor McGregor, and Conor McGregor's fucking him up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That guy? | ||
| Yeah, and Conor, I mean, Conor's not, uh, he's not weighing in, so he's probably weighing about 170. Okay. | ||
| And Game of Thrones guy's... | ||
| Easy three? | ||
| Three, easy. | ||
| I would imagine he's in the 320, 340 range. | ||
| Yeah, and he's like a bodybuilder, too, so he's like... | ||
| He's chasing Conor, and Conor's cracking him in the stomach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| It's kind of a crazy video to watch. | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, pull it up. | ||
| Because how tall is Conor, what, 5'9"? | ||
| This guy is, what, 6'7"? | ||
| He's taller than 5'9", I think. | ||
| Conor might be 5'10". | ||
| I'm 5'8". | ||
| I won't disrespect you, Conor McGregor. | ||
| Oh, he's a beast. | ||
| Yeah, you get the heart of an 8-foot person. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the guy fought Floyd Mayweather with zero professional boxing fights. | ||
| Just stop and think about that. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| He took zero. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| So here's Conor. | ||
| He was probably about $1.70. | ||
| Look at the size difference here. | ||
| And they're like sparring. | ||
| And Conor's moving around. | ||
| And he's punched him in the stomach. | ||
| And the guy's trying to grab him. | ||
| He's trying to grab him, but Connor has not let him grab him. | ||
| But he's not doing anything. | ||
| He's controlling. | ||
| The guy's trying to grab him, but he doesn't know what he's doing. | ||
| And then he's like high-fiving. | ||
| Connor's like, no, no, no. | ||
| We're going to keep going. | ||
| We're going to keep going. | ||
| So now he starts kicking him. | ||
| He starts kicking him in the stomach. | ||
| See? | ||
| He just punched him in the stomach. | ||
| And the big guy doesn't know what to do. | ||
| He's trying to grab him. | ||
| But Connor's like, come on, lad. | ||
| How can I keep going? | ||
| He's a fucking monster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Connor knows that this big motherfucker can't keep this up. | ||
| He can't keep it up. | ||
| He's not able to keep up this pace. | ||
| So he's already hurting. | ||
| I mean, he's already tired? | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| You're just going back and forth here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| First of all, he's not used to sparring. | ||
| I mean, we just got to a minute. | ||
| He's not used to sparring, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So everything he's doing is like these big movements and he's not breathing well. | ||
| So he's all tense and tight. | ||
| So right now, he wants to take a deep breath. | ||
| See, all this is tension for him. | ||
| He's very tense. | ||
| So now he's got a hold of the leg, but he doesn't know what to do. | ||
| You have it, though, yeah. | ||
| Conor Hand fights with him. | ||
| All Conor has to do is keep him moving. | ||
| Oh, you see, he punched Connor in the stomach. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| And then Connor's like, oh, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so Connor's going to keep going. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Now he's throwing kicks at him. | ||
| And the guy's going to kick him, yeah. | ||
| The big guy can't kick him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It'll be too awkward, and Connor will trip him and throw him to the ground or something like that. | ||
| He doesn't know how to kick. | ||
| But Connor's just going to keep punching him in the stomach. | ||
| But eventually, he just gets really, really tired, and he gives up. | ||
| But it's kind of crazy to watch because Conor essentially made him fight. | ||
| See? | ||
| He got on his knees. | ||
| Just like that cop guy. | ||
| That was the victim. | ||
| Yeah, the victim with the cop. | ||
| He got on his knees and Conor didn't allow him either. | ||
| Connor's kneeing him in the body. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Bro, he's a gangster. | ||
| He's kneeing him and punching him in the body. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| I mean, those are real kicks. | ||
| Those are real, like, knee... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, that guy is so much bigger than him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| So, yeah, he's not doing any MMA training. | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| I mean, he could, but he wasn't there. | ||
| I mean, he just doesn't know what to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if he learned what to do, Connor would never do that. | ||
| Yeah, that guy's a... | ||
| I mean, he's a walking weapon. | ||
| Like Nganou. | ||
| Francis Nganou, who's probably one of the biggest heavyweights in the UFC. Conor would never do that with him. | ||
| He can't. | ||
| Yeah, because he's a trained fighter. | ||
| He's a giant striker. | ||
| He'd fuck him up. | ||
| But with that guy, that guy didn't know what he was doing. | ||
| No. | ||
| The mountain, though. | ||
| Yeah, he was a basketball player. | ||
| He wanted to play basketball, and then he broke his ankle or leg or something, and it never healed properly, and then he just became a bodybuilder, and then they put him in Game of Thrones. | ||
| Well, he's the world's strongest man. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, he wins those world's strongest man things. | ||
| He's not just like a participant. | ||
| Sorry, yeah. | ||
| He's the champ. | ||
| He's crazy strong. | ||
| And his guy is like Magnus Vermagnuson, right? | ||
| He's like his mentor. | ||
| Magnus? | ||
| Is that his mentor? | ||
| Yeah, Magnus Vermagnuson. | ||
| By the way, what a great name. | ||
| Perfect name. | ||
| Magnus Vermagnuson. | ||
| I fucking love that cat. | ||
| Strong man, competitor. | ||
| Magnum Kulaudi. | ||
| Magnus Vermagnuson. | ||
| Remember those shows used to be on ABC, Wide World of Sports and shit? | ||
| It would be on TV. You'd be watching the Strongest Man competition. | ||
| They would throw barrels over the fucking bars and stuff. | ||
| I mean, they're carrying trucks, 18-wheel semis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Always ridiculous shit. | ||
| Remember the guys, they would lift and they'd have a hemorrhage and it'd just fucking go through their nose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, you'd see blood splurging out their nose while doing deadlifts. | |
| One of the guys, Robert Oberst, was on my podcast recently. | ||
| He's one of those strongest man competitors. | ||
| They're so big, they don't even look like real people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're around them and you're like, how are you so big? | |
| They're so big. | ||
| These fucking gigantic humans. | ||
| The human body is incredible. | ||
| It is, man. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| You said this is the most he's ever lifted. | ||
| What did he take in his nose? | ||
| Smelling salt. | ||
| Isn't that nuts? | ||
| They do smelling salts before they lift. | ||
| Some dudes drink whiskey or something. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that before. | ||
| But why smelling salts? | ||
| You know, I wouldn't drink the whiskey. | ||
| I feel like that would make me too relaxed. | ||
| I'd probably shit myself or something. | ||
| Look at the signs of this fucking human. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what, he's 425? | ||
| One, two, three. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hurrah! | |
| It's on the plate. | ||
| How much weight is this? | ||
| I didn't say. | ||
| It's a ton? | ||
| I just said it's the most he's ever done. | ||
| Bro, look at the bar, Ben. | ||
| Ugh! | ||
| God! | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Look at the fucking bar bend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't really say there, no. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Good enough. | ||
| We get it. | ||
| But the smelling salts are so strange. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| But NFL players do that too on the sideline. | ||
| Imagine if you did that right before you went on stage. | ||
| I might. | ||
| Just took smelling salts. | ||
| I might. | ||
| Maybe that's the move. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Maybe we're missing out. | ||
| I think for your next show you gotta do that shit. | ||
| Just fucking pound it real quick. | ||
| Hitler to Mussolini. | ||
| Just... | ||
| I just go up there and just rant for five hours. | ||
| Everybody's like, shut him up. | ||
| Did you see Rogan's seven-hour set? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah, he took smelling salts. | ||
| All brilliant. | ||
| His nose was bleeding. | ||
| What's it smell like? | ||
| Took the best angles. | ||
| No, I don't know what it smells like. | ||
| I've never smelled it. | ||
| I was going to ask how to compare a stink bomb or something like that. | ||
| It's real strong. | ||
| The scent is strong. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Freaking out. | ||
| And it just pops your brain like wide awake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you fucking lift. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, you become like Dan Cook on stage. | ||
| You'd be like so physical. | ||
| No one's that physical. | ||
| No one's smelling salts physical. | ||
| No one's smelling salts physical? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We should make Jeremiah Watkins do it. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Because he would. | ||
| Get Watkins on smelling salts? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He would be the first guy to have like, what kind of physical comedy does he have? | ||
| Oh, like smelling salts physical. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| The most physical level. | ||
| Not cocaine. | ||
| Not kennis and shit. | ||
| You're talking about smelling salts. | ||
| Well, who's like, it'd be like, Dane Cook is one of the most physical. | ||
| Like, Jim Carrey was very physical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Physical, right. | |
| Robin Williams. | ||
| Yeah, but Jim Carrey would, like, fall down and fucking do pratfalls and go crazy. | ||
| Right, he's an acrobat. | ||
| Yeah, he could move weird, too. | ||
| He had, like, a real flexibility to the way he moved. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Remember in, Like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. | ||
| I mean, that was on display, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that was part of his whole thing, was how wacky he moved, you know? | ||
| A man with a thousand faces, right. | ||
| But then, you'd have smelling salts, physical, next-level shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just like those kids in the day, they couldn't do the BMX flip three times, right? | ||
| No, they can, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now they can. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the same thing with smelling salts. | ||
| I gotta see this. | ||
| I gotta fucking try this, actually. | ||
| It's just ammonia. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, it releases ammonia when you break the thing or open the cap or whatever you're doing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, that's nothing. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| That's Windex. | ||
| They used to make it from deer antlers and hooves. | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yeah, there's shit called Spirit of Hartshorne. | ||
| Folks, this has been the most educational experience ever of this podcast, I would say, with both real and false information. | ||
| Ha ha! | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| We can't decipher which is both. | ||
| We gave you nonsense and we gave you truth. | ||
| And we hope you enjoy it. | ||
| Brian Moses, tell these people where they can find you. | ||
| Yeah, you can find me at RaceBanning on Twitter. | ||
| FoxCompton on Instagram. | ||
| Or just see me at the Rose Battle every Tuesday night at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Every Tuesday night. | ||
| What time does it start at? | ||
| 11 o'clock. | ||
| 11 o'clock. | ||
| 11 p.m. | ||
| One of the rare scheduled 11 p.m. | ||
| shows anywhere. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Regularly scheduled show at 11 p.m.? | ||
| Pretty fucking rare. | ||
| It's dope, dude. | ||
| You came one time. | ||
| It was past your bedtime, but you still did it. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I took my Mylanta. | ||
| That's it, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Brian Moses. |
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