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July 1, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:57:25
Joe Rogan Experience #1319 - Joey Diaz
Participants
Main voices
j
jamie vernon
07:02
j
joe rogan
01:24:43
j
joey diaz
01:21:25
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Speaker Time Text
joe rogan
Joey, motherfucking Diaz.
joey diaz
What's up, brother?
joe rogan
What's up, baby?
joey diaz
I'm just on the drive up here.
I was thinking about all the busted assholes that are in the hospital today from the gay pride parade yesterday.
unidentified
Can you imagine how many guys went down there just to say hello and ended up getting fucked in the ass by the stick?
joe rogan
They had a good time.
joey diaz
Bro, let me tell you something.
That was one of the biggest turnouts.
My friend went and he said he had a fucking blast.
One of my guerrilla buddies said he had a blast.
unidentified
Blast!
joey diaz
Gay people are great in fucking New York.
All over.
joe rogan
Everywhere.
joey diaz
Everywhere.
joe rogan
They're celebrating.
They can be free.
joey diaz
They can be who they are.
unidentified
I loved it.
joe rogan
Anybody who's got a problem with that is crazy.
joey diaz
But on the dark side, let's talk about the facts here.
A couple confused little young white dudes went down there yesterday.
Sure, I'll go have a drink.
joe rogan
Yeah, some guys who just wanted to be an ally.
Ally to the gay folks.
I just want, you know, I'm not gay, but I am your ally.
Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
joey diaz
What's up, brother?
joe rogan
That's what guys have to remember.
Gay dudes are dudes.
All same rules apply.
All same rules of scumbaggery that apply to men apply to gay men.
joey diaz
Yeah, there's like three types of gay guys.
There's gay guys that aren't interested.
There's gay guys that are semi-interested.
And there are gay guys that live to convert you.
joe rogan
It hurts my feelings as a 51-year-old man that that's still a big deal.
That anyone cares at all.
It really does.
It hurts my feelings.
Because I thought that by the time I was a fucking middle-aged 51-year-old father that we'd be done with that.
People wouldn't care if other people were gay.
Like, whoa.
Of all the shit to worry about, of all the shit in the world to worry about, you're worrying about guys who like guys?
Like, what do you give a fuck?
And they always go biblical.
They always go biblical.
unidentified
Like, it's always, uh, if God wanted that, it'd be in the Bible.
joe rogan
That shit drives me crazy.
joey diaz
Where I lived in my old house in North Hollywood, there was a gay couple across the street, two dudes.
One was a pilot for a major airline, and he was in the process, and the other guy got fired from Target for being a transgender.
This goes back to 2010, and they had cats.
You know me, dog.
I talked to the guys about cats.
There was an old guy down the block that would come over and talk to him like you can't talk to him.
Old white dude.
Like, you can't talk to them.
You can't encourage that in that neighborhood.
I don't want two more of those fucking assholes moving here.
And I go, they're out here feeding fucking homeless cats.
unidentified
What's the...
joey diaz
You know what I'm saying?
joe rogan
Right.
joey diaz
To this day, whenever I go to my old neighborhood and I see them outside, I pull over, I talk to them, say hello.
They're just two sweet people trying to be fucking...
joe rogan
Just being who they are.
joey diaz
Trying to be who the fuck they are.
And we make jokes.
Hey, I make jokes, the whole thing.
But at the end of the day, I learned the hard way.
And I talked about it on stage the other night.
You were there when I said that my daughter invited me to a party, that she went to school with a kid, and his parents are transgender, and I felt kind of weird, and I went.
And on the way out, I looked at the kid.
I seen 60 transgender people.
They come from a community.
And I saw this little kid smiling.
I go, I'm adopted.
That kid's adopted.
Look what they're doing for that kid.
They're making him a life.
And I closed the door and I went in.
And like I said in the joke, I hugged the lead tranny.
And now we're fucking tight.
That's it.
I eat the food.
joe rogan
Nice.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
It does matter.
The only time it matters with me is with sports.
Just stop with that.
Just stop with that and we're going to be fine.
Look, there's some statistic, see if this is true, that someone sent me that out of the 14 states that allow high school kids to compete as the gender that they identify with, rather than their biological gender, in those 14 states, transgender students are just dominating.
Transgender male to female.
They're just dominating.
They're winning everything.
It's crazy.
joey diaz
I know you have problems with the boxer.
unidentified
I have problems with all of the sports.
joe rogan
All of it.
When it comes to power sports.
I'm not sure they've done the work here.
This idea that every...
They use the excuse of outliers.
And the outliers are there's some super athletes.
You can get...
A regular girl who weighs 145 pounds or you can get a Ronda Rousey who weighs 145 pounds.
There's extreme athletes.
There's people that are different.
Serena Williams is clearly a different level of athlete than a regular person.
A regular girl who's like her weight, she's just superior.
And I think that that is what you see with some of these transgender athletes that come over to become women.
They say, well, they're no different than like an Ann Wolfe, who is like a superior athlete female boxer.
You ever see Ann Wolfe knock girls out?
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
Dude!
unidentified
Dude.
joe rogan
She haymakers this chick with a right hand.
It's like one of the most brutal one-punch knockouts you've ever seen, men or women.
Perfect technique.
Boom!
Just waylays this girl.
unidentified
Timber!
joe rogan
She falls out cold.
I mean, there's not a whole lot of women other than maybe Amanda Nunes, but Amanda Nunes is doing it with them little gloves on.
I wonder if she would be able to do it like that with those big gloves.
I think she probably could because she hits that goddamn hard.
But, you know, you got to judge each sport by, you know, like we see Paulie Malignaggi goes over to bare-knuckle boxing.
He doesn't do that well in comparison to say, like, if somebody, like, you know, like a really good high-level striker with knockout power with the big gloves on, would you put, like, if you put Deontay Wilder in little gloves, I don't imagine anybody being able to take that.
He's fucking people up at, like, a heavyweight with those big gloves.
So it's a different thing, you know?
So who the fuck knows?
But the idea is the outlier.
The outlier, like if you get one superior athlete and then you have them sort of commensurate with a transgender athlete.
Like a guy who was an athlete who became a woman, you know, in his 30s, and then identifies, goes through the surgery, but how much benefit does he take of having testosterone flow through his body for 30 plus years?
We really don't know.
It doesn't mean you hate transgender people.
It doesn't mean you don't love everyone.
It doesn't mean you don't want everyone to live their life and be whoever they want to be with total freedom.
I don't think we have males compete against males for a reason because we feel like it's more fair.
Even though it's not.
It's not more fair if I'm playing basketball against Michael Jordan.
That's not fair.
He's better.
He's a better athlete.
There's people that are just going to be way better than you no matter what you do.
If I had trained all my life to be a better basketball player than Michael Jordan, it's not even physically possible.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
So there's outliers in males.
But when the outliers, when there's so many, when you see so many transgender athletes that are dominating in sports, and then when you add combat sports, which is how I got involved in this, when a woman was doing that, who was a transgender woman, Just not telling anybody and saying it was a medical issue.
Like, well, that's fucking crazy.
We want to pretend that everyone's equal.
You know, we want inclusiveness and we want peace and we want everyone to get along.
We want equality.
We want gender equality.
Okay, I get it.
I see where you're going.
But we also have to look at reality.
The reality is...
There's fucking giant physical differences.
These transgender athletes are dominating against women who are born a woman.
They have to be a woman their whole life.
They never have 30 years of testosterone flowing through their veins.
It's like doing steroids for 30 years and then stopping.
It's crazy.
That's what I think.
joey diaz
You're freaking me out.
You know, I just smoked some reflux.
joe rogan
Me too, man!
joey diaz
How did you get me on this subject?
joe rogan
Oh, transgender people.
But as human beings, I love them all.
I love everybody.
Dude, Eddie Izzard is one of my favorite guests of all time.
He's so interesting.
He's been transgender since 85, I believe he said.
Prefers women, likes women.
He's not a gay fellow.
Just likes dressing up as a woman.
And extremely intelligent.
Very interesting.
joey diaz
That special on HBO 15 years ago was mind-boggling.
Say what you want to say.
It was up there with the great specials.
Because it had more of a one-man show tone to it, you didn't qualify it as a special.
But when you look at it as a whole, it was a great fucking performance.
joe rogan
He's a special person.
And...
He just happens to be transgender.
It kind of makes him even more interesting.
joey diaz
Speaking about special people, I gotta apologize to you for something.
joe rogan
For me?
joey diaz
Because I've always had this discrepancy.
Last night I went out for a little while.
I got home.
I had a couple numbers in me.
I grabbed the fucking apple.
I sat on the couch to unwind.
And I put the TV on.
And in front of me was the Blues Brothers.
When was the last time I watched the Blues Brothers?
I don't know.
So the scene that opens up is them at the restaurant when he's trying to talk to maitre d' and to join the band.
And there's a family next to him, a husband, a wife, and three daughters.
And the guy's telling him, I'm not going to join the band.
So he goes, really?
You're not going to join the band?
He takes a bottle of champagne and he goes over to the table and he goes, sir, how much little girls?
I wasn't ready for that.
I just lost it, right?
And he's like, sir, how much for little girls?
And the guy's like, what?
And he goes, for the women.
I want to pay you for the women.
And the guy's like, you know, sir, sir.
He turns around.
The guy comes over, breaks his balls again.
He fucking turns over to the guy again.
And he goes, sir, how much for their wife?
unidentified
How much?
joey diaz
How much for your wife?
joe rogan
I remember this.
joey diaz
This is class.
joe rogan
This is class.
joey diaz
This is craziness.
This would never happen today.
joe rogan
Mouths full of food and Dan Aykroyd continues eating in the background.
joey diaz
Dog, and Dan, we got to talk about Dan Aykroyd because he's been like a hemorrhoid.
He's the silent...
He don't make a boo, and the guy is phenomenal.
He's still around.
And if you don't believe me, watch a movie named My Girl.
And then watch this, and then watch the fucking Liberace movie.
He's outlasted everybody.
joe rogan
You know, he's a serious believer in UFOs.
joey diaz
Well, what are you going to do?
Everybody's got problems.
Right here.
Right here.
When he threatens him, right here.
How much for the wife?
Okay?
Look at the guy choking his shit.
They give him champagne.
And then watch fucking Dan Aykroyd.
Watch what he does.
He goes, if you don't join the band, we will be in here every day for breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner.
And watch what Dan Aykroyd does at this fancy restaurant.
But Joe, it doesn't stop there.
They get in the car.
They drive off.
Look at him.
Look at him.
That's craziness.
This is the last of real comedic.
If you're going to get into comedy or you want to be...
This is Comedy 101. They walk out.
They get into a car.
That black fucking car.
This is non-stop, Joe Rogan.
There's not like a hard line.
There's no fluff.
They get into a car.
They get into traffic.
The cop comes up to him.
He goes, there's Nazis.
I have them parades.
And he goes, Belushi goes, Illinois Nazis.
I hate them more than anything.
He looks at Aykroyd.
They fucking pull over and they take the car and go right for the Nazis.
The Nazis have to jump off the bridge.
White people are clapping and shit that they knocked them off.
Then they pull into a black neighborhood.
Who's playing the fucking guitar?
Your boy, John Lee Hooker.
In the middle of the street.
Just playing the fucking guitar.
Then after he's singing the song, brothers fucking everywhere doing their business.
John Lee Hooker and Belushi and Ackroyd are just staring them down.
Then from there they walk into a diner to get the fucking guitar player and it's Aretha Franklin.
And Aretha Franklin could act the fucking...
I'm sitting there.
It's midnight.
I gotta go to bed.
I gotta get up at 6.15 with the baby.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm watching this.
Aretha Franklin goes off.
They do a dance.
The black dude leaves with the white guitar player.
Then where the fuck do they go?
A pawn shop with the fucking black piano player.
Ray Charles.
He's the pawn shop owner.
He opens up the thing.
He's blind.
He owns a pawn shop.
Look at him.
He owns a pawn shop.
This doesn't stop!
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
I had to fucking finally go to bed and then I felt bad about going to bed.
They will never make a movie like this.
Ever.
Ever again.
Then they start dancing like it's grease.
They start dancing.
Let it go, Jamie.
They start dancing.
Look at this.
unidentified
Like it's fucking grease.
joey diaz
Look at this.
This will never happen again, Joe Rogan.
Black people flipping in the air.
This will never happen again.
This will never happen again.
Look at these two.
You think Belushi gave a fuck?
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
Look how free people were in movies.
There was no superhero movie.
unidentified
Look at this.
joey diaz
It cost millions to make this movie!
unidentified
Look at them dancing it out!
joe rogan
That, you know, I forgot how goddamn fun this movie is.
joey diaz
This movie's fun.
And then the chick that died on the airplane.
unidentified
Wow.
joey diaz
What's the chick that died on the airplane that was at Star Wars?
joe rogan
Chick that died on the airplane that was at Star Wars?
The chick last year.
That might be the best description of anybody ever.
joey diaz
The reefer I had that killed her.
What's that chick that died on the plane?
She had sleep apnea.
She was doing pills on the plane.
unidentified
Who?
joey diaz
She played the actress in Star Wars.
joe rogan
Carrie Fisher?
joey diaz
Carrie Fisher is chasing him throughout the whole movie because he dumped her.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
joey diaz
So she's fucking throwing missiles at them and grenades.
joe rogan
That's right.
joey diaz
And then they go into the bar and they tell the fucking dude that they're the good old boys.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
joey diaz
This is non-stop.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
joey diaz
Whoever wrote this, directed this, shot this.
So this whole movie, they have the Nazis are looking for them.
John Candy's looking for them with the state police.
That's old Chicago.
joe rogan
This is wild, man.
It's just what the folks who were just listening just says the Blues Brothers 1980 shake a tail feather scene four of nine on movie clips.
How does that work?
Are they allowed to show these?
jamie vernon
Yeah, they've made a deal with them because this links also to the, if you want to watch it, you can pay right here to rent it and all that stuff.
joey diaz
Look at this stuff.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I fully support buying this movie.
joey diaz
You're looking at me going, Joey, it's a comedy.
Why are they dead?
Look at that.
It just adds to the brilliance.
joe rogan
They look like they're having a good time.
joey diaz
If they're not snorting blow, they're not doing anything, okay?
Now, was it this movie where he would walk off the set and just knock on people's door?
One of those movies, bro.
This fucking nut...
When they would say, cut, you got, you know, A-Team, go sit down.
Belushi was so fucked up for the night before, he would just wander off into a neighborhood, knock on somebody's door and go, you mind if I crash on your couch?
unidentified
No.
joey diaz
Yeah, bro, they had to go looking for him in neighborhoods and shit.
joe rogan
He would just find people and ask to sleep on the couch?
joey diaz
Joe Rogan, what door could you knock on?
joe rogan
Look!
Of the Blues Brothers' mayhem, John Belushi fell asleep in a stranger's house.
Dan Aykroyd proposed to Carrie Fisher.
joey diaz
This is crazy!
Like, this was this Caddyshack.
You know, when they shot Caddyshack, they shot it in Florida.
I heard when Paramount went down there, they fucking went nuts.
They were like, dog.
They found everybody snorting coke.
Rodney was throwing a party.
They couldn't, you know, this is a different type of movie.
These people are having fun.
That's the difference.
They're having fun on that set.
There's probably alcohol.
The director's drinking.
You know, he's keeping everybody alive.
How many extras were dancing?
joe rogan
Fucking hundreds.
They were all in tune.
And it was like, everybody loved that movie.
That's one of the rare movies with a musical scene that fucking everybody loved.
The Blues Brothers.
joey diaz
No, the Blues Brothers started on Saturday Night Live.
That was a sketch.
joe rogan
I guess so, yeah.
jamie vernon
Dan Aykroyd wrote it.
John Landis directed it.
They co-wrote it together.
joe rogan
Aykroyd's crazy into UFOs.
He's like one of the main celebrities they pull up.
When people start talking about UFO real believers, he's done little clips where he narrates things, UFO shows and shit.
He fucking believes.
joey diaz
Well, didn't they just release that there's even more belief now about UFOs?
joe rogan
Yeah, it's fun.
I don't know if it's real, but it's fun.
That's how I feel.
joey diaz
Doug, I did a podcast with Jim Florentine, and I explained to Jim Florentine that what people don't know is that Hudson County, New Jersey, Northern New Jersey is the number one place in the country where they have the most UFO sightings.
joe rogan
Really?
Northern New Jersey?
joey diaz
Look it up, Jamie, if you'll get a minute, please, not to be rude.
joe rogan
But isn't that like near a couple airports?
joey diaz
No.
It's closer to like, you know like when you live in New York City and you look at the Hudson River?
They say that people go on their balcony, they're drinking coffee, they talk on the phone and they'll see a little flying saucer go by.
jamie vernon
Really?
joey diaz
And I know for a fact that in 1976. A little one?
Whatever the fuck they are.
I know for a fact that in 1975 and 1976 you could check me out on this.
A UFO landed in Hudson County Park.
I was a kid and the next day the feds locked off the park.
They had yellow tape.
They had samples.
Go look it up, dog.
You see that?
That's called, North Bergen is where I'm from.
That's called, I forget what it's called, but it's a circular building.
So they did so much coke in there in the 80s, they called it the grinder.
That's what they called it because it was shaped like the Stonehenge.
The Stonehenge.
I have a couple friends that lived there.
People that lived in that building have seen UFOs for fucking years.
And if you go to YouTube, there's an actual North Hudson Park UFO. They dug up.
They came out.
There's a liquor store.
And the liquor store guy says he's seen the lights.
You heard, like, the organ music that they play.
They landed.
A couple Martians got out and took samples and got back in the thing and took off.
There's a YouTube thing.
There's a history channel special about it.
And I still remember being a young kid.
joe rogan
Did you find anything, Jamie?
joey diaz
Not given.
jamie vernon
That was what's popping up, all that stuff about that building.
joey diaz
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
joe rogan
Is there anything that says a UFO landed?
jamie vernon
That's the story I'm reading right now is what he's saying.
Done.
joey diaz
And witnesses.
You know, it's not just one guy that says, I don't know, UFO. It's people who got knocked on the door and said, did you see anything at 11, 10 at night?
And they said, you know what?
There were lights flashing outside.
They contacted police departments to see if there was anything.
They went full.
Then the FBI came in, circled the park.
It was by the Little League Field in Hudson County.
But you'd think it was Area 51. You'd think it was close to northern Las Vegas.
The number one place to see UFOs is northern New Jersey.
They even made a reference to it in The Sopranos.
When he said something, he goes, what are you talking about?
Last week you said you seen a UFO in Hackensack.
Because that's where they're at.
Hackensack, Munaki.
You ever go to Munaki, New Jersey?
A lot of ugly people.
A lot of people with big heads.
The only good thing in Munaki, New Jersey...
It's fucking Segovia, a Spanish restaurant.
It's been there since 19 fucking Schlemenski.
I don't know.
But that's the only good thing about Munaki.
I think those people in Munaki have been abducted.
There you go.
And they put them back as big-headed motherfuckers.
joe rogan
I did a gig there a couple times.
joey diaz
Oh yeah, there used to be like a bar.
There's a bar that did something in Munaki.
joe rogan
Was that a Bob Gonzo gig?
joey diaz
Yes, outside the Sea Corpus.
unidentified
Was it?
joey diaz
Yeah, it's outside.
No, no, no.
I think Bob is more down the shore and stuff.
joe rogan
Well, he had gigs all over the place.
joey diaz
He had gigs all over Bob.
How I met Bob was he did a gig in Romano's Italian restaurant in my hometown.
And my buddy's like, hey, aren't you a comedian?
Let's take you up there.
And we went up there and Bob's like, I don't know him.
He said, I don't know him.
And next thing Bob came up to me, he's like, look, I got to put you up because my friend is threatening me.
So Bob put me up and we've become friends ever since.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
joey diaz
I think I follow him on Facebook.
We have a chat from time to time on Facebook.
But yeah, for you UFO motherfuckers, look into northern New Jersey.
That's the fucking mother load of them.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
I had read that before, but I kind of like...
joey diaz
There you go.
joe rogan
51. 51 UFO sightings in 2018. You get biased because the story is always some person in the woods and they get abducted.
They see a UFO in some strange town in the middle of nowhere.
The aliens land and abduct people.
You always think about it being a rural thing.
But if I was an alien, of course I'd go to New York City.
Of course I'd go to New Jersey.
What the fuck?
Why wouldn't you?
You want to go see the craziest thing we have?
You got like...
Seven million people stuffed together on a fucking tiny island in comparison to the rest of the planet.
Stuff stacked on top of each other.
Awesome, amazing buildings.
All these lights at Times Square.
Look at all these people mowing around, traveling over these bridges to get to this one hub, this one hive of humanity.
Of course, if I was an alien, I would check that out.
Why would I look at a barn?
You know what I mean?
joey diaz
You used to have a joke that the United States is a Tijuana...
joe rogan
Of outer space.
joey diaz
Of outer space.
They're like, what are we doing this weekend?
joe rogan
They come down when they're fucked up and they want to see a show.
That was the whole bit.
I think aliens come here when they're high.
They just get fucked up.
They're like, come on, let's go check out the monkeys.
Let's go, dude.
Come on, let's abduct a couple of them.
Have a good time.
Let's go see those monkey people.
joey diaz
I never saw a fucking UFO. I want to.
joe rogan
I never have, though.
joey diaz
I want to see it land, and I want to see one of those green dudes get out.
joe rogan
I think I thought I saw some shit when I was a kid, but as I got older, I thought that was like a fighter jet or something.
That's what that was.
God, it's a real sketchy memory.
It's one of those memories that's barely active.
But I remember thinking for a day or two when I was a little kid, maybe I saw a UFO. But I think I was trying to convince myself of it.
I was bored.
But I think it was a jet.
I think it was something fast and unusual.
Have you ever seen one of those stealth bombers?
That looks like a fucking UFO. Have you ever seen one of those things in the sky?
joey diaz
No, yes.
joe rogan
It looks like a Star Wars movie.
joey diaz
Like when you go to like a Blue Angels fucking thing?
Yeah, they're probably...
joe rogan
No, those are like...
I think those are F-A-18s.
That's what I think it is.
I think that's what that is.
I flew in one of those.
I had a bit about that too.
joey diaz
Ugh!
joe rogan
Yeah, you hold on to the hand, you hook.
You either hold on to your handle if you're steering the plane, or you hold on to your straps if you're a passenger.
I was in the passenger seat, so I grabbed a hold of my straps.
And you have to go like this, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot.
And you have to force blood into your brain to stay awake.
That's how much g-force you're going through.
It's insane.
joey diaz
Force blood into your brain to stay awake.
joe rogan
See, that's one of those stealth bombers.
I saw one of those in the air over, I guess it's Edwards Air Force Base.
Is that what the one it is?
Is Edwards the one that's out near Palmdale?
I think that's it.
Because we used to film Fear Factor in Palmdale and we saw that thing fly overhead like that.
Look at that thing!
Tell me that doesn't look like it's from another planet.
When you're on the ground and you see that fly overhead, you're like, what the fuck is that?
So I think that's responsible for a bunch of the things that people saw.
I think it's military crafts.
joey diaz
Can I ask you a question on that article you pulled up, the 51 sightings?
What type of sightings do you have?
joe rogan
Look at this fucking thing.
joey diaz
What is considered a sighting?
joe rogan
Well, the thing is, you just see shit, but how do you know if...
What are you doing, Jim?
jamie vernon
These are the sightings.
joe rogan
Okay, but go back to that video.
Look at that thing.
I mean, come on.
If you're just sitting on the ground and you saw that, you're like, they're coming!
The aliens are coming!
That does not look like it's from this world.
That thing is madness.
joey diaz
Especially with those two guys next to him.
joe rogan
God, it's fucking beautiful, though.
Like, what an amazing design.
That thing flying through.
It looks like something on a keyboard.
You know, it looks like a symbol on a keyboard.
And it's just flying perfectly through the air.
That looks like the future.
I mean, that really does look like it's from another world.
I would imagine, like, little blue dudes with black eyes talking to each other in that thing.
Going through fucking wormholes and shit.
I mean, that's what that thing looks like.
unidentified
And what's the thing that they're going to have 100 years from now?
joe rogan
Just imagine that.
joey diaz
Yeah, I just want to know what the logistics is for it to be considered a legitimate sighting.
joe rogan
Legitimate sighting?
joey diaz
Legitimate sighting.
joe rogan
It just means that someone saw it.
If you're a lawyer, and you see something, and then you convince yourself that what you saw was something extraordinary, and you have the feeling that you're looking at something from another world, But if it's just some drone or some military vehicle and then you look at it and then you convince yourself, then it becomes a bigger and bigger deal in your head.
That's a problem with people.
It doesn't mean that everybody that sees something is seeing that.
People are kind of full of shit.
joey diaz
Well, let's say there's a 1-800-CALL-MARTIAN. I see a fucking thing.
I call that thing.
1-800-CALL-MARTIAN. Yeah, call Martian.
Whatever the fuck.
1-800-MARTIAN. The phone won't stop ringing.
Okay, the phone won't stop ringing.
It will never stop ringing.
It will never stop ringing.
joe rogan
There will be people talking to Martians.
joey diaz
My concern is when do they consider it a credible?
What does it take for it to be credible?
For me, for it to be credible, I got to see the motherfucker land and get out.
joe rogan
My take is usually military guys.
When you have military fighter pilots, that's an extraordinary human.
If you can be one of those guys that flies one of those B2s, for them to trust you with that billion dollar fucking spaceship, dude, you gotta be an exceptional human.
There's no room for someone who's full of shit.
You're gonna be a top flight fighter pilot, you're gonna fly around with gunfights in the sky, because that's what they do.
They have gunfights in the fucking sky.
Those guys are exceptional human beings.
So when they see something...
That's when I listen, for sure.
Everybody else, not that I wouldn't listen, but I don't know.
You might be crazy.
And you might be crazy even if you're in the military.
You might be crazy if you're a fighter pilot.
It's 100% possible.
joey diaz
So those fighter pilots and all those Air Force pilots that do test runs or whatever, they say that they see things?
joe rogan
There's a bunch of sightings.
Not only a bunch of sightings, there's a bunch of sightings from these really credible guys.
What is this?
Fleet of UFOs followed U.S. aircraft Navy pilots as May 29th.
joey diaz
Yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
joe rogan
See, these guys that are talking about these things...
These aren't guys with histories of embellishing things.
I mean, they have this, whatever that is.
Is that radar?
What are they looking at?
Is that infrared?
Like, what is that screen that they're looking for?
Does it say what kind of image it is?
Because it's like a weird look.
It's not like a photograph, right?
It's like a weird computer image.
Because it's detecting it, right?
With some piece of equipment, right?
Isn't it?
Like tracking it on radar or something like that?
jamie vernon
I know what you're saying because I feel like I've heard that description of it too, but this article just says it's video of two aerial encounters.
joey diaz
That's tremendous.
joe rogan
But that video doesn't look very clear.
Why isn't it clear?
My phone does a better job than that shit.
jamie vernon
They don't have very good cameras on those.
They don't have good ones, but in order to catch movement at that high speed up there, yada yada, all that stuff.
joe rogan
Oh, so it would require some exceptional gear?
jamie vernon
I think.
And it could have also been at night.
I don't know what time of day it was.
joe rogan
So convenient.
So convenient that they never have a clear picture.
That drives me fucking crazy.
It drives me fucking crazy.
Because if it is real, I want it to be real.
Honestly.
I really do.
But when I look at it, I go, God damn, so many people are so crazy and so many people are so full of shit.
joey diaz
You personally believe, and so do I, that there's other galaxies out there.
There has to be.
joe rogan
Well, there are definitely other galaxies.
Other civilizations.
joey diaz
Other civilizations.
Some form, somewhere.
Out of the nine planets, there's got to be something.
I don't know what.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you what they're called or whatever, but there has to be something.
At this point, you have to believe that.
joe rogan
The universe is too big.
It's just too big to discount, to say, nope, I doubt it.
Like, that's so crazy to say.
Just because we haven't seen it yet, it's so big.
jamie vernon
There's the explanation.
joe rogan
Okay.
jamie vernon
Explanation of what he caught and what...
joe rogan
He said that though tracking equipment, radar, and infrared cameras on his aircraft detected UFOs both times, he was unable to capture them on his helmet camera.
Okay.
jamie vernon
So, maybe he couldn't look at it, get it, and good vision or whatever.
joe rogan
Maybe.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
Or that's a good reason why...
joe rogan
I would imagine as fast as those goddamn things are going, it must be really hard to get a camera to be able to constantly focus in and out.
joey diaz
That's interesting.
He says that Lieutenant Ryan Grimes...
joe rogan
Graves?
joey diaz
Graves, whatever.
A squadron of UFO followed his Navy strike group up and down the eastern coast of the U.S. for months.
That's, I'm telling you, that little fucking...
I read something about the Hudson River, that all those people that live across the Hudson River, whether on the Weehawken Edgewater side or the west side of Manhattan, those are where the people on their balconies see all that shit.
joe rogan
Look at this shit.
We did have issues with them when we went to the Middle East, Lieutenant Graves said.
Imagine them following the war.
Imagine if there were aliens and they came down to follow the war.
So they see the war going on in Afghanistan.
Come down and they're checking it out.
jamie vernon
Just to go on the cynical side of this, they're not necessarily saying they are an alien ship.
They're saying it's a UFO, so it's something they're not sure of.
Of course.
What if it's some sort of awesome drone that some Middle Eastern company has and it can just follow shit or move faster or something?
joe rogan
Sure.
That would be the more likely explanation, right?
Terrestrial would be more likely that someone has advanced shit.
We know they have advanced shit.
I mean, we know they have incredible drones.
unidentified
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
The stuff that they can do.
joey diaz
They got drones.
That green berets are seals.
You put razor blades on them, and they slit your fucking throat when you're driving.
joe rogan
Whoa.
joey diaz
That's how good the technology is on those drones.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
I wouldn't be shocked if they could do all kinds of things that we can't expect.
joey diaz
You could be standing there, and they could take the drone to just come down, and they put razor blades on them or some shit.
joe rogan
Well, you could totally see someone having a small drone, like a small thing, like the size of a cheeseburger, that has poison in it.
And you just slam it into somebody.
I could see that.
What you're seeing when you're seeing stuff that's flying around the sky most likely is made by a person because people make stuff and people know how to make stuff that flies around the sky but then when you get to shit that defies physics like some of the things these fighter pilots see that's when you gotta go wait a minute you see these extraordinary feats of traversing distances like they can get from one place to another place so fast it looks like they disappear This is something they all talk about.
They all talk about the insane speed at which these things can go.
They can just change angles.
They can just go and then take a hard right angle turn.
They can do stuff that nothing that we know how to make can do.
That's where it gets to be like, whoa, like nothing.
It's not like it's like, oh, that's like a fighter jet, but like really fast.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like an alien car.
Oh, it's like a car, but it's way faster.
You know, it's an alien car.
But this is not like anything that we make.
These fucking things, they fly this way, they say, flat, like a plate hovering over the ground.
But when they go to fly, when they go to take off, they flip up sideways.
And they have like, the bottom of the spaceship is pointing towards where it wants to go.
And it does something to space and time, make some sort of fucking magnetic gravity connection, insert big spooky words, whatever.
They don't know how the fuck it does it, right?
This thing can go like insane distances in insanely small amounts of time Then when they all report the same kind of behavior of these things so many of these reports are like that They're talking about this thing that goes insanely fast turns on its side.
It looks like a tic-tac It looks like a saucer.
It looks like they're trying to figure out what the fuck the shape is because it's moving So goddamn fast, but it's doing stuff that nothing we know how to make and do I don't know if it's from another planet It might be from here, but it's exciting.
It's exciting shit.
I want it to be from another planet.
That's what I want.
Like, unbiased.
Like, my honest, what I would love it, just be completely honest, I would love it if it was aliens.
But if it was people, I'd be even more scared.
Because, like, goddamn, people can do that?
People can do that and no one knew.
If you can imagine a person who can make a spaceship that defies all of the rules that we know about travel, about air travel.
If they can make something that defies all that shit and somehow or another keep the whole development and production of it a secret and then have this thing and take it off and no one knows how the fuck they did it.
That's almost more impressive than aliens.
Because what these things are doing is if these pilots are accurately reading what's happening and they're telling the truth, the thing that's remarkable is their stories are very consistent.
There's a lot of very similar stories from different people that make a living flying super fast warships.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
They see things.
They know what the fuck they're looking at.
They see something they don't know.
They're like, what in the fuck is that?
When they see something like that, that freaks me out.
That's when it gets me.
Because when some fucking kid's riding his bike to school and he looks up and he sees a UFO, okay, maybe it did happen.
Maybe it did happen.
Maybe the kid's being 100% honest.
Or maybe he was bored.
Maybe he was bored and decided to make up a crazy story and stuck with it and then after a while telling it, maybe he believed it himself.
That happens too.
People see things.
They don't know what they're seeing and they decide that it's a different thing.
I've said this before, but it's a true story.
When I was in Alberta, there's wolves there and I thought I saw a wolf for like a whole second.
It was a squirrel.
I saw gray fur movement wolf squirrel.
Like, if you're dumb, or if you're compromised, or if you're a little drunk, maybe a little tired, you know, maybe you just saw something that looked really weird because of, you know, whatever weather conditions that are affecting some...
Part of the world you live in.
There's things called ball lightning.
Flies through the air.
You know, it looks like a UFO. You ever see that shit?
It's like a real natural phenomenon.
Somebody might see something like that and then add a bunch of other shit to it.
And that's where you get a lot of these stories.
You get like natural phenomenon and then people adding a bunch of shit to things.
But then on top of that, you have credible stories.
And you can't throw out any of them.
When you look at all these things, you can't decide, just because there's a bunch of crackpot stories about UFOs, that the ones by legitimate fighter pilots, that those aren't real.
You can't look at it that way.
It's crazy to look at it that way.
Because it's more likely there's something out there.
Then there isn't something out there.
It's way more likely.
joey diaz
When I was a kid and that happened in Hudson County Park, I wrote it off.
I didn't even pay attention.
I remember riding my bike up there, seeing the Fed tape and seeing people with those orange protective suits on.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
And I was like, these people are fucking out of my mind.
Then one night I got high, five or six years ago, and I saw it.
Somebody had posted on Facebook or YouTube, and I read more and more into it.
And I discounted it until I read the accounts of the 28 people.
In that building, the liquor store, there was a guy who had just got dropped off a bus from New York.
Buses drop you off there from New York.
The bus driver said there was a flash.
There were just so many people with stories that they didn't see a fucking guy get out.
Only three people saw people get out.
Everybody else discounted the lights and the noise and the other bullshit that went with it.
I would have shit my fucking pants if I lived in that building and saw three little Martians get out.
Or it could just be fucking...
Who knows?
Who gives a fuck?
I just wanted to tell you that that's where...
joe rogan
People can get freaked out.
And they can, you know, they can think all kinds of things that didn't really happen.
joey diaz
One night I was on acid, I thought it was a fucking, I thought the FBI was out there with dogs.
The next day, it was fucking a fire hydrant, alright?
I dumped an ounce of coke down the toilet.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
joey diaz
Because I hallucinated, because when you're doing coke for more than fucking ten hours, you start hallucinating.
I started hallucinating.
I thought it was fucking dogs and it was a fire hydrant.
You know how stupid I felt the next day?
Pretty fucking stupid.
Pretty fucking stupid.
I sat there and I went over and petted the hydrant.
You fuck.
You fuck.
joe rogan
This is the problem with any story.
Like all these fucking UFO stories.
It's people's memory.
Memory's not that good.
It's just not that good.
It's too hard to figure out what it actually looked like after you saw it.
Like you see something crazy like a year ago, and then you try to describe it.
It's too hard to describe.
Like, you barely remember it.
Your version of it is a rehashed version that you keep repeating to yourself.
You know, if you saw something, like say if you were hiking and you saw a wolf, right?
If you saw that wolf, when you try to describe that moment you saw that wolf years later, like, what are you actually seeing when you're going into your memory?
How accurate is it?
We're always lying about how accurate our memory is.
It's not that good.
Like, if you did see a wolf, which is an extraordinary moment, right?
You're in the fucking forest, you're like, that's a fucking wolf!
unidentified
That's a wolf!
joe rogan
And you see a real wolf looking down on you, a wild motherfucker in the woods of Canada, just looking at you, staring at you on a trail.
Like, that's an extraordinary moment.
But if you try to recount that in your mind ten years later, what do you actually see?
How much do you actually see?
You see this blurry, weird, fucking misty version, and you've got some words that fall into place that can describe it.
But how accurate is your fucking memory?
It's terrible!
joey diaz
How accurate is your memory?
joe rogan
It's good with statistics.
joey diaz
Okay.
joe rogan
Like, I can tell you about fights.
I can tell you what year someone fought.
I can tell you how this guy won and how he beat this many guys with a triangle, and I remember things.
But if I actually have to remember what it actually looked like in my head, I can't really pull that up.
I barely can pull it up.
If I see it, I'll recognize it again.
You can show me Joe Schilling knocking out Melvin Manhoff in Bellator.
I watched that KO so many times.
A wild, crazy slugfest.
And if I see it, I'm watching it happen in a video.
I remember it.
Yep, this is how it goes.
Here it goes.
Boom!
He KOs him.
But if I had to just pull that out of my brain right now, it's not good.
Do you know what I'm saying?
If I have to close my eyes and pretend I saw Mike Tyson knock out Michael Spinks, I kind of can see little flashes.
I can kind of remember weird little parts of it.
You know, I remember the final right hand.
unidentified
Boom!
joe rogan
It just ends up flying through the ropes.
It was chaos.
It was just like, he's the best ever.
But if I had to play it back in my head, it wouldn't be nearly as good as a video of it.
joey diaz
How is the memory in your life?
How are the memories of your life?
Do you remember being three?
No.
Do you remember being five?
unidentified
Barely.
joe rogan
Barely.
joey diaz
I was fucking suffering.
Not suffering.
But I was trying to think of my dad.
My dad died when I was three.
And I have two memories with him.
I have two memories that I can look you in the eye.
I don't remember what he was wearing or what shoes he was wearing.
But I still remember driving from the Lincoln Tunnel from New York to Jersey.
And him put me on my lap, no seatbelt, and me holding on to the steering wheel.
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
And I still remember him and my mom having a discussion and him taking me with him.
That's it.
I don't remember nothing else.
unidentified
Wow.
joey diaz
You know, you try to go back on your memory.
Then you start to write a little bit and your memory gets better.
joe rogan
Yeah, but even when your memory gets better, the problem is, with my memory, I'm always wondering how much of this is accurate.
How much of it was I really paying attention during the moment?
If you have a biased perspective of something that's happening and then you have a memory of it, how much does your memory and the biased perspective shape what you think happened?
You could actually kind of twist the past.
In your head if you're not careful.
And you start thinking about things that didn't really necessarily happen the way they...
Like if you go, I get fucked over at work.
You know, I had to come and my fucking pension and all this.
And then you look at it from that way.
Wow, this guy worked for an evil company that fucked him over.
Or you go to the employers and some of the other people you work with.
They go, no, no, no.
That guy was a fucking asshole.
He made life at work hell.
Nobody wanted him around.
He didn't get fucked over.
He was so negative.
Nobody wanted to be with him in the office.
We had to get rid of him.
Like, you have to look at it from their point, too.
You don't know.
So, the actual memory of it for that guy might be that he got fucked over by this evil company.
But the memory of the other people is a completely different experience.
The memory of the other people is this guy was annoying to work with.
Ugh!
And they're both, you know...
I mean, who the fuck knows who's right?
joey diaz
My memory is good in some places and completely bad in others.
Like right now, my memory of 30 years ago is spot on.
I can tell you conversations we had.
Don't ask me what we did a year ago.
Like I'll sit here and go, what did I do last 4th of July?
I have no fucking idea.
But I went home.
When I went home for three weeks, I went to dinner with a friend of mine.
And then way back, I had him in tears telling him about the night his arm got broke.
You know, he looked me legit at me in the face.
And he goes, Joey, I forgot I broke my arm.
It's amazing that you remember.
How the fuck do you remember?
And I go, it was one of the best nights of my life.
I never laughed so hard.
He drove his car at my friend.
You know how people go on and they drive at you?
joe rogan
Yes.
joey diaz
He didn't stop in time.
And he tapped my friend.
My friend went down, who's hilarious as it is.
He got up.
He went to take a swing at this guy.
And the guy put his arm up.
And when he hit, he broke his arm with the punch by absorbing the punch.
And he had to wear a cast.
And we tortured him.
And my friend kept threatening to sue him.
And when I was telling him this, his face was red.
He had to take his napkin down, and he was banging the table.
He goes, Cokes, I just remembered the broken fucking arm.
You know, he's my age.
He goes, I forgot all about my broken fucking arm.
You know, before you came in, Jamie and I were talking about Achilles tendons.
And I remember the time pulling a hamstring.
Like having to go to the hospital when I was 15 and having the fucking doctor do something and it was bruised.
Blood was running from my ass to the top of my leg.
It was fucking horrible.
I just ripped the hamstring.
We were talking about...
You know, like just that, you know, and then there's a theory that there's times, like you go back to Newark, like you, I don't know if there's a fight, are you going to Newark, that fight?
joe rogan
No, I'm not working that one.
joey diaz
Let's pretend you went back to Newark and you went to see where your grandpa lived and you saw a corner store that was still there.
This is interesting.
And you go into that corner store and maybe you get a bag of Wise potato chips.
Maybe you get a bun that you went there and got.
They say by tasting that bun, And it takes you back.
It opens up all those fucking memories.
joe rogan
Why eating something from the area?
joey diaz
Something, something.
It's like sometimes a song will trigger something.
joe rogan
Right.
joey diaz
Fucking songs really trigger you.
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
joey diaz
That's why it's important sometimes when you watch a movie or a TV show to have a soundtrack.
Because we have a soundtrack.
We all have a soundtrack of our lives.
A couple years ago I was on a podcast and we were talking about some Bon Jovi and you were like, oh, I remember...
Give me some chicken stabbing, listening to my Joey, something like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you'll even say it.
I fucked Mary Lou Smith in the ass listening to this song.
joe rogan
You know, it just brings you back.
joey diaz
It just brings you back.
But they say that...
joe rogan
It's funny.
Your example is to bring it back.
Yeah, it was me and my best friends.
We were by the lake.
No.
Banging some married in the ass.
joey diaz
Most guys will hear a song.
They'll be by themselves.
They'll be by your wife and your kids.
You'll hear, never say goodbye to Bon Jovi.
And you'll think of the night that drunk midget chick sucked your dick behind the church and you never told nobody.
It just comes back.
It comes back to haunt you for a minute.
You know, like, shit like that always goes, oh.
That was a song I got sentenced in prison to, like, whatever.
I don't fucking know.
Like, when I got locked up, the big album was Appetite for Destruction.
When I got locked up, the big albums for regular people were Appetite for Destruction.
For the brothers, it was Don't Be Cruel by Bobby Brown.
That album he made, Solo, when he split from New Edition.
So every time I hear Don't Be Cruel, the other one, every time I hear, especially that fucking Mr. Brownstone.
Every time I hear Mr. Brownstone, I want to crash the car.
Because all the bikers would shoot heroin to that song.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's time for Mr. Brownstone.
That's all they would talk about.
So every time I hear those two albums...
I fucking think about being locked up.
Ever since Guns N' Roses went on tour, that's all you hear on the radio now.
Put the radio on for five minutes.
Every day you hear November rain, welcome to the jungle, because that's it.
That's it.
unidentified
Right.
joey diaz
Every time I hear those jams, I think about that stupidity.
joe rogan
That's funny.
Welcome to the jungle was mine.
joey diaz
But there's a lot of people who will say to you like, oh, you know, I make love.
I used to make love to my girlfriend listening to that album, you know, whatever.
But there's some people who are animals and say, you know.
joe rogan
Yeah, the truth.
I used to get my dick sucked listening to that when I was 14. Yeah, music, more than anything, is like an imprint of the time of your life when you saw it.
Like if you go back and think about, like for me it was Stripes with Bill Murray.
I think I was...
I had to be a teenager.
What year did Stripes come out?
What year was that?
81. Perfect.
So I was 14 years old.
I was in 9th grade.
I was a freshman in high school.
So when I think about that movie, that was the epic movie of our time when I was a kid.
I think about that time of year, or that time of my life.
You think about...
Who you were.
It brings you back to a weird place.
It helps.
It enhances the memory.
joey diaz
Fucking tremendous.
joe rogan
That was a great movie, man.
That was such a funny movie.
joey diaz
Think about the line when he asked the fat dude why he joined the service.
And the guy goes, I want to lose a couple pounds.
unidentified
Look at him.
Look at John Candy.
joe rogan
John Candy was amazing.
joey diaz
Amazing in this.
joe rogan
It's a fucking great movie, man.
It was just so good at the time.
You had a smile on your face through the whole movie.
Even the moments of the movie that weren't hilarious when they're setting things up, it was so well done.
You just smiled all the time.
joey diaz
Are you guys looking at this cast?
You got the guy from Beverly Hills Cop.
You got Zito from Miami Vice.
You got fucking Harold Ramis who...
It was a blessing in my life.
He legitimized me when I did his movie.
The movie was terrible, but he was phenomenal comedy-wise.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
joey diaz
I don't know what this brother went on to do, but this is fucking great comedy.
Look at Bill Murray.
joe rogan
I know, man.
joey diaz
This is the height of Bill Murray.
Now, you guys got to remember, we were just talking about another great movie a couple minutes ago.
Didn't these both come out the same year?
joe rogan
Did they?
joey diaz
Yeah, 81, 80. This is the shit we were going through.
This is why we talk about movies and music.
It's not that we're all men fucking being nostalgic.
I'm telling you the truth.
They were making great movies at this time.
joe rogan
There was a few great movies.
joey diaz
A few?
joe rogan
There was a few, yeah.
I mean, quite a few, I should say.
unidentified
This...
joey diaz
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
When did that come out?
83, 82, 84. You know, you gotta...
The comedy lessons we were getting those years, 87. Well, let's think of this, just cinematically.
joe rogan
What year did The Godfather come out?
joey diaz
73. 73. 72. Exorcist, 73. The Mechanic, 73. It was just too much.
Just those three movies right there.
The Godfather, The Mechanic, and The Exorcist.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah.
joey diaz
And if you look at who was up for an Academy Award in 73, you'll fucking die.
You'll die.
You'll go, how the fuck can they pick a winner there?
joe rogan
It's also, imagine the stark contrast between that and 53. Like, in 1953, the movies were kind of corny, you know?
Even if they were good, they were kind of corny, you know?
And if you go any earlier than that, like, you ever try to watch King Kong?
You ever watch?
I watched it with my kids and wife wasn't home and they were scared.
They're like, I don't want to watch a scary movie.
I go, we're going to laugh at a silly scary movie.
And they're like, really?
I go, you got to trust me.
This movie was from so long ago that what they thought is scary, you're going to think is silly.
And they're like, are you serious?
Because they go, okay, but if we get too scared, just shut it off, right?
I go, I'll definitely shut it off.
They were like, I think seven and five at the time.
This fucking movie.
It's so fake looking when the gorilla comes out.
They thought it was hilarious.
And then because we talked about it being funny, then they were just laughing hysterically and cracking all these jokes about what that thing looked like.
That it looked like...
My youngest daughter said it looked like someone was moving poop around.
That it looked like it was made out of poop.
Because it's all clay.
It looks so dumb.
But, you know...
Back then, that was as good as it got.
joey diaz
Well, look at the new Godzilla.
The new Godzilla's got awful.
People leaving with a fucking headache.
unidentified
Are they?
joey diaz
Yeah.
Look at the old Godzilla.
It's a comedy.
joe rogan
It is?
joey diaz
Oh, my God.
You see those poor little Japanese people?
joe rogan
Look at this, though.
joey diaz
Yeah, look at this.
joe rogan
Look how fake this looks.
joey diaz
It's crazy.
But this must have been huge back then.
unidentified
Yeah, look at these guys.
joe rogan
Like, yeah, buddy, you're not in a plane.
It's like so fake looking.
You know, like these guys flying around.
And look how bad the gorilla looks.
It's so crazy.
But at the time, this was unbelievable.
This was amazing.
So if you go from this to like Apocalypse Now...
The jump in terms of how impactful it is and how much they nailed it.
It's a fun movie, man.
Don't get me wrong.
I have a King Kong poster on my wall at my house.
I love the movie.
joey diaz
I love this movie.
joe rogan
I have a movie poster from the 1930s.
joey diaz
And I'd much rather see the old Godzilla's.
Godzilla vs.
Mortar.
Godzilla vs.
the Smog Monster.
unidentified
Godzilla.
joe rogan
Those are fun.
joey diaz
Just to see what Japanese people were doing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
They had the string on them.
They would do wide shots, so they would show the Chinese people running, and then they would just have a single shot of Godzilla moving through the air.
You see, look at that.
They're Japanese.
joe rogan
Japanese.
Look how dope he looks.
Like, even when it's lit up, that is fucking fun, man.
That's fun.
Look, he's going through the fucking electric!
Godzilla doesn't give a fuck!
They're shooting him!
Fuck you!
joey diaz
See, now they can't show you a behind shot of the Japanese shooting Godzilla because there's really no Godzilla.
They just shoot into a wall.
It's completely separate.
This is like a real clay model.
If you look at it, he's really not 60 feet.
It's maybe fucking eight inches or something.
joe rogan
No, this is not a model.
These are men in suits.
This is the difference between King Kong and Godzilla.
unidentified
No shit!
joe rogan
Yes, these are men in suits.
And it was really complicated, and these guys had to be really strong because they're carrying around this gigantic rubber suit, and it's heavy as fuck and hot as fuck.
So the reason why it moves so fluid, what the Japanese did that was brilliant, was they had men, and they put men in these monster suits.
joey diaz
Look at the fucking smoke coming out of his mouth.
joe rogan
Yeah, go and Google the men who wore the Godzilla suit.
It's actually pretty fucking cool.
It's not easy to do.
These guys had to walk around and have these fight scenes and shit in these big giant suits.
That wasn't animation.
That's a dude in there.
Isn't that crazy?
And that's what it really looked like in terms of height-wise.
It was like the size of a person.
See, that guy go back a bit?
You see that guy getting out of it?
Right there.
That's what the dude looked like who was inside of it.
joey diaz
I always thought it was like a clay model.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
King Kong's a clay model.
King Kong was Claymation from Ray Harryhausen.
That's how...
I got onto the subject with them.
I was telling them about...
They love that Monsters, Inc.
show.
And Harry Heusen is one of the characters or something about Harry Heusen is in the movie.
I said, huh.
I go, do you guys know who that is?
And they go, no.
I said, that is the guy who...
Of course, they didn't know who it is.
What the fuck am I talking about?
But I said, that's the guy who was one of the original monster animators for movies, like King Kong.
He did all that claymation stuff.
And back then, I mean, that was the state of the art.
You gotta think, it's 1930-something.
I was like, King Kong was what, 33?
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
33. When was Godzilla?
joe rogan
That was later.
That was post-World War II. Yeah.
What is it?
joey diaz
I'm sorry.
joe rogan
54. 54. Jesus.
Post-World War II was Godzilla.
Godzilla was after we...
We.
I shouldn't say we.
Somebody from the United States dropped bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki when they used nuclear weapons.
The idea was that and all the nuclear tests that they had done in the water, there was no real understanding of what the fuck was going to happen.
And so the science fiction version of that would...
It might be that all that radiation would create some super monster.
joey diaz
Fucking brilliant.
joe rogan
Yeah, the Japanese were dealing with radiation poisoning and death on an unbelievable scale.
I mean, hundreds of thousands of people wiped out instantly from atomic bombs.
I mean, and so just the sheer force of the power of those things, you couldn't even imagine that there could be anything that could do that.
Just one thing that falls out of an airplane that can do that.
Well, what else can it do?
What happens if it gets in the water?
How is this shit going to affect fish?
How is it going to affect...
Who knows?
So the science fiction version was always awesome.
A Godzilla would come.
That's what the new one's about, too, right?
The new one is the same kind of thing, like a dinosaur got zapped.
jamie vernon
I believe the new one was all the other dinosaurs came back and they had to reawaken Godzilla because he's the only thing that can fight him.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
So it's a superhero monster movie?
He's a superhero?
Godzilla's a superhero now?
jamie vernon
They had to bring him back.
He's a good guy in this one.
joe rogan
Oh, no, he's not a good guy.
jamie vernon
At the end of the last one, everyone complained because there's this weird winky scene where Godzilla and the main guy looked at each other in the eye and we're like, same team, bro.
joe rogan
You know who the real Godzilla is, man?
The real Godzilla is Cersei's...
Not Cersei.
What the fuck's her name?
The dragon.
Mother of Dragons Dragon in the Game of Thrones that fucked up that city at the end.
That's a real horrific idea of a fire-breathing lizard.
But Godzilla was always adorable.
Didn't really go after people.
joey diaz
Even the early Supermans, the first six episodes, you could see the string.
unidentified
Really?
joey diaz
Check it out.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
joey diaz
The black and white, the pilot, maybe the pilot in the first three episodes, they figured out how he could do it.
You could see his train.
joe rogan
It's a weird, the Godzilla story is a weird story, right?
Because it's not like Godzilla goes on a killing spree.
He just goes through Tokyo and just starts lighting every building on fire.
He doesn't do that.
He's like almost like, he is almost like a good guy lizard.
And in the new movie, it's more accentuated then.
So he has to help us.
joey diaz
And Mothra was the fucking bird.
joe rogan
Mothra was a moth.
joey diaz
Mothra was a moth.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
And what was the smog monster?
jamie vernon
You got Rodan.
His ultimate analysis.
joey diaz
Rodan?
joe rogan
Rodan was the ultimate analysis?
What did Rodan look like?
I'm trying to remember.
Like wings and shit, right?
Didn't Rodan have wings?
joey diaz
You gotta get high and watch all these.
joe rogan
Yeah, you gotta get high and watch these guys.
joey diaz
This is crazy, this shit.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
Rodan could fly.
Look at that one with the blue sky below him.
Oh, there's a three-headed one?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joey diaz
But this is new monsters, right?
joe rogan
Oh, these are the new ones?
joey diaz
These are the new ones.
joe rogan
Get the fuck out of here with this new shit.
Give me the blue sky right there.
Yeah, right there.
jamie vernon
That's kind of a TV show-ish.
joey diaz
The smog monster had laser beams coming out of his fucking eyes like Medusa.
Yes, he did.
Yes, he did.
One of them had fucking laser beams.
joe rogan
Did he really?
Oh my god, the three-headed thing.
What was that called again?
jamie vernon
It's right here.
Hold on.
joe rogan
I forgot about that three-headed thing.
jamie vernon
King Ghidorah?
I don't know how to say that.
joe rogan
Oh, Ghidorah.
joey diaz
Motrat, Rodan.
joe rogan
It was Ghidorah, right?
joey diaz
Ghidorah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Pull up a video of Godzilla vs.
Ghidorah.
It was so silly, but man, when we were little kids and this shit was on on Saturday night or Saturday morning.
joey diaz
Lose your fucking mind.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
Lose your mind.
I used to love this shit.
joe rogan
It was the best.
When you found out Godzilla was going to be on TV, you were so pumped.
jamie vernon
This is from the actual new movie.
joe rogan
Oh, there's a new movie with Ghidorah?
jamie vernon
No, this movie's out right now.
joe rogan
It is?
jamie vernon
The Godzilla King of the Monsters.
joe rogan
And Ghidorah's in this?
jamie vernon
Yeah, all three of these are.
joe rogan
Let me see these bitches.
Whoa!
Special effects today is a lot better.
joey diaz
No, look at this.
joe rogan
Holy shit!
This is amazing!
joey diaz
This is crazy.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Dude, the special effects they can do today are insane.
So we're looking at...
It says King G-H-I-D-O-R-A-H. King Ghidorah.
Oh my god.
Dude!
The fucking special effects are insane!
There's Mothra?
Wow.
Is this supposed to be a good movie, though?
The thing with these movies is, and I really hate to say this, how come they can't do both?
How come they can't have an amazing special of 40% on Rotten Tomatoes?
How come they can't have amazing special effects and a fucking killer story?
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
How can't they do that?
That's one of the last of the great ones.
jamie vernon
It's 2009. That's 10 years ago.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
Which one was that one?
joe rogan
Avatar.
Avatar was a great story with great special effects.
At the end of it, people were like, oh, it's Pocahontas in space.
Get over it.
Yeah, it is.
It's a classic story.
James Campbell always talks about this classic structure of these heroes' journeys.
There's a lot of that in there.
It's very similar to a lot of the stories.
It's still great.
Don't let that get in the way of the fact that it's great.
That movie was fucking awesome.
That movie was awesome.
Just the special effects and the way it all went together.
Yeah, the fucking bad military guy was cartoonish.
Yeah, of course he was.
So what?
Why let that get in the way with your fun?
Think of it as like...
When a movie like that, I think of it as like...
It's...
Like a lot of the hyper-violent Tarantino movies.
Like, you know what you're signing up for.
You know what it is.
This is not supposed to be some...
Detailed analysis of the human psyche, you know, where a guy takes a strange, slow transformation over the course of two hours.
No, it's a fucking bad guy.
This is a bad guy.
Here's a good guy.
Good guy can't use his legs.
Wouldn't it be awesome if he could be one of those blue things?
Pa-pow.
joey diaz
I never saw the fucking thing.
joe rogan
Fucking movie's great!
joey diaz
I never saw it.
I never wanted to see it.
I thought that they put too much money into it.
joe rogan
Too much.
joey diaz
Anybody can make a movie if I give you $600 million.
It's not.
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
Any idiot can make a movie if I give you 600 mil.
joe rogan
Joey, it's James Cameron.
James Cameron is a monster.
joey diaz
I love James Cameron.
joe rogan
He's made so many amazing movies.
joey diaz
He's made some great movies.
joe rogan
He's a fucking killer.
joey diaz
I think that time, it's like building an ego.
It was like fucking building a team to put a movie together, which I understand, but...
600 million, you know, it's Oscar nominated, but I love them.
They shunned him.
joe rogan
They shunned him?
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
Who shunned him?
joey diaz
At the Oscars.
He walked in and he thought he was bad to the bone.
He was sitting there with his little new girlfriend and his ex-wife directed Hurt Locker.
joe rogan
Whoa.
joey diaz
So they're both up for the same thing.
unidentified
Oh.
joey diaz
And he's sitting there looking at Spielberg, like, winking at him and winking at all the other white people, like, what's happening?
And all of a sudden they go to announce the winner of the best movie.
And they showed up at Barbra Streisand.
unidentified
Oh.
joey diaz
And once you pay her fee, you know what her number is just to walk out of the house?
joe rogan
What's her number?
joey diaz
Big.
joe rogan
Big?
joey diaz
Big.
joe rogan
I imagine.
She's Barbra Streisand.
joey diaz
Look at when she does the theaters.
Her tickets are more expensive than the fucking Laker tickets.
When she did the Staples Center, cheapest ticket, three bills by the refrigerator.
2,000 to sit on the floor.
Barbra Streisand don't fuck around.
So when they call her, it's because she's lighting somebody's asshole up.
Even James Cameron knew.
When he saw her, he put his head down.
Look at the tape.
He knew what he was done.
And she came out and gave it to her.
He lost that to his wife.
joe rogan
Hurt Locker, though.
That was like a culturally significant movie at the time of a war.
That was super well done.
There was no bullshit in that movie.
That is a good fucking movie.
Hurt Locker is one of those movies at the end of it you go, Jesus.
joey diaz
Speaking of Hurt Locker, did you see what happened in New Jersey yesterday?
joe rogan
What happened?
joey diaz
Ice went to New Jersey to go into some Jewish place.
And Jews got together and held hands and 36 of them got arrested.
I've always said those Jersey Jews don't fuck around, Doug.
joe rogan
East Coast Jews.
All of them.
Jersey, New York, Brooklyn.
joey diaz
They held hands and went up against ice.
joe rogan
Good for them.
joey diaz
Little young kids.
They don't fuck around in those jerseys.
I was telling Lee last night.
Lee, you know they sell more neck braces in Jersey than they do across the country?
Because there's a lot of Jews in Jersey that just wear neck braces.
Did you know that?
joe rogan
Why?
joey diaz
Because then they're under lawsuit.
Oh.
joe rogan
So they just get hurt all the time.
joey diaz
Every time I go to the Meadowlands, there'd be eight guys with neck braces on at the Meadowlands.
And I asked around, what goes on?
You don't know what that is?
They have somebody on the paper.
They have a court case going.
joe rogan
Oh, that's so funny.
joey diaz
So they got to wear fucking neck braces.
So they call them the Jewish gold chains in Jersey.
You didn't know that, Doug?
unidentified
They call a neck brace a Jewish gold chain.
So racist.
joey diaz
Like, when you go get a fucking neck brace, you have to back order him in Jersey.
Like, they fucking...
joe rogan
But Jewish folks are interesting in that it's a religion and a race.
joey diaz
It's a religion.
joe rogan
It's like a both, right?
Kind of.
Because a lot...
Like, Jewish...
Ari's Jewish, but Ari's not religious anymore at all.
joey diaz
No, he went over and did the whole fucking thing.
joe rogan
But he's Jewish.
joey diaz
Yeah, he's Jewish.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's a different animal.
There's a lot of Jewish atheists.
You're like, how...
How the fuck...
How can you do that?
How does that work?
They just do it.
They identify with that tribe.
It's part of a tribe.
It's like a tribe.
Right?
Like a tribe and a religion and a race.
It's like three things.
joey diaz
Dog, when I was a kid, I knew a Jersey Jew.
He was an attorney.
His name was Cozy.
This motherfucker didn't even smile.
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
People were going to him because they called him guaranteed 30. Like, he would get you $30,000 for anything.
Like, people would cut their thumb and just go down there.
Guaranteed 30?
30 Gs.
And then you take an advance from him.
You get hurt and you take an advance from him.
Coach, let me get 10 Gs.
joe rogan
When we were in Brooklyn the last time, when we were going to...
Peter Luger's and so we drove through these Hasidic neighborhoods and these you know, what are the ones like Ari?
There's Orthodox Jews.
There's a big community of Orthodox Jews, but in New York and Brooklyn particularly and Ari was explaining how they didn't they don't leave this community This is where they they stay.
These are all their people.
They don't give a fuck about what's happening in the outside world.
I'm like, what?
You just see this interesting subculture.
It's one of the more cool things about New York.
You get to be in that kind of...
That's like a genuine...
Even though they're isolated, they have their own neighborhood, it's a genuine melting pot in that regard.
You can go to a Chinatown, like a real Chinatown.
You go to Chinatown in New York City, that's a different animal, man.
I mean, you might as well be in some part of Asia.
joey diaz
Fucking Mohawk is a tremendous restaurant.
joe rogan
What's the name of it?
joey diaz
Mohawk.
joe rogan
Where's that?
joey diaz
It's in Mott Street.
It's open 24 hours.
unidentified
They got real 24 hour joints in New York.
joey diaz
Just put the fucking menu up from Mohawk.
When I was in New York shooting that movie, the one night I was starving.
I got stoned.
And at 1.30, I go, I can't do it.
I called Mohawk.
I go, what time you open till?
They go, we'll open.
I hung up the phone.
I went on Uber.
It was a $10 cab ride.
And I go, I'm going to go to Warhop and I chickened out Joe Rogan.
I got a heart attack.
Who goes to Warhop at 2 in the morning?
You'll get a heart attack.
All that sodium will fucking kill me at 2 in the morning.
I'll be up for two days.
joe rogan
We often went to Chinatown after playing pool because it was like the best thing back in my early stand-up days when I didn't have obligations.
We'd stay up playing pool until 2, 3 in the morning and then go and you have a real meal.
Like a really good meal.
joey diaz
I think I have a heart attack now.
That big ass meal at night with egg rolls and steak on a stick and fucking...
Just the pork fried rice alone will set you off.
joe rogan
Was there even Diet Coke back then?
When did Diet Coke get invented?
joey diaz
No, there's always been...
We always had Fresca.
joe rogan
Yeah, we always had Fresca.
joey diaz
When we were kids, my mother had Fresca and Tab.
I drank Tab, my mother had Tab.
joe rogan
People got super sad when Tab went away.
I remember people would be all bummed out.
I love Tab, but Tab was a girl's drink.
That was a girl's drink.
joey diaz
Yeah, Tab, Fresca.
Fresca was more of a girl's drink.
joe rogan
But Tab was a girl's drink because it had a pink can.
Didn't Tab have a pink can?
joey diaz
Yes, yes.
It says 1982. That's when Tab went away?
jamie vernon
No, Diet Coke.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
jamie vernon
I thought it was older than that.
joey diaz
Me too.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
I still remember in 85 when they changed the recipe.
That was 85 and motherfuckers went nuts.
joe rogan
They went crazy.
joey diaz
Yeah, they really did.
joe rogan
They went crazy.
New Coke.
Like, what?
You're on Coke.
Why would you fuck with the taste of the best soda of all time?
Coca-Cola is the best tasting soda of all time.
And there's other stuff that's really good.
Like, root beer is really good.
It's interesting.
But there's a reason why that shit sold a billion fucking trillion gallons over the past...
jamie vernon
So Tab had saccharin in it and led to bladder cancer and rats.
People found that out and then the popularity declined exactly when Diet Coke came out in 1982. Oh, they got set up.
joe rogan
Put on your pink tinfoil.
Let me see a picture of it.
What did a Tab can look like?
Was it pink?
I'm trying to remember.
See, again, memories.
Okay.
Like I was talking about.
I know that that registers with me.
Okay?
I know that that makes sense.
Yeah, that's what Tab looked like.
That makes sense.
joey diaz
But it was a Coca-Cola company also.
So I think Coca-Cola discontinued Tab, put more fucking cancer in it, and sold it as Diet Coke.
joe rogan
What I was going to say is I could never draw that.
Like if you asked me to draw what a Tab can looks like.
I wouldn't be able to do it.
joey diaz
I knew it was in that realm of that red, but it wasn't called red.
joe rogan
But that's what I'm talking about with memory.
You know, memory is a weird thing.
It's very weird.
Because my memory with numbers is pretty good.
I remember a lot of important dates and times and things and statistics.
I can remember a lot of statistics.
And I remember a lot of fights.
I could pretty much tell you what the outcome was.
How much do I remember of seeing it?
How much can I pull up and watch again?
How accurate is that?
I don't know.
joey diaz
I was more of a sporting guy when I was growing up, and yesterday I was on a plane, and they had DirecTV on there, and they were showing the best 10. I was looking at the iPad anyway.
I was watching something on the iPad, but that screen was on, and they were showing the best 10 football plays.
And they showed Joe Montana throw it to Dwight Clark in 81. And right away, my memory's like, wait a second, I won 800 on that game.
Because I had the over, I had San Francisco getting a point.
Fucking Dallas went into San Francisco giving a point in those days.
Not on my clock.
Not when Snowy Joey was throwing heat.
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
That's when Snowy Joey was up there, snowing coke, throwing fucking touchdowns up there, Joe Montana.
Like, I have all, like, who, look at that.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
joey diaz
Oh, no, no.
There was a catch that some giant made with one hand.
I don't know what the fuck.
Oh, my God.
They showed the best 10 catches.
I was sitting there, and I was just looking at them, but I saw this one catch.
I don't know what the, I think this is the kid they traded.
He just reaches up, and the defender, he fucking pulls it in.
jamie vernon
Oh, yeah.
joey diaz
I don't know if it's Odell Beckham.
I thought it was Odell Beckham.
jamie vernon
It's like his specialty is doing those catches.
joe rogan
Did you see Francis Ngannou knock out Junior Dos Santos?
joey diaz
Yeah, I didn't even think it was a real knockout.
He just blushed him.
Look at him.
He hit him and he went down and held his head.
Let him fight it out with him.
joe rogan
Listen, that fight was over.
You gotta listen to me.
That fight was over.
joey diaz
Did he hit him that hard?
joe rogan
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
The scary thing is he just clipped him.
joey diaz
He clipped him?
joe rogan
He clipped him, rocked him, put him down, pounded on his head, and Junior just couldn't even move.
He just laid there and take it, and they stopped it quick.
That was 100% legitimate.
100% legitimate knowledge.
joey diaz
I thought between you and I that this would go a little longer.
I thought that he was a seasoned veteran.
I thought that he would go at least take it into the third round and try to, you know, nullify his power by the third round.
You can't keep throwing those fucking aim makers.
I thought he was going to wrestle him a little bit.
It was not what I anticipated.
It was not the game plan.
I thought.
I got off stage and it was starting.
As I walked into the green room, they were going.
And I was so fucking happy.
I'm like, let me watch this.
I go, I think Junior has a shot here.
As I thought that he was already on the floor holding his fucking forehead.
joe rogan
Junior had a good start where he was kicking the leg, especially the lower part of the leg.
You could really fuck someone up with that.
He knocked him off balance.
And that can really fuck you up, man.
It can really mess up your movement.
And if that was the case, if we was able to mess up his movement and get him to miss a little bit, you know, get him so that he was having a hard time moving correctly and keep chewing on that leg, then maybe there would be openings for him to jump in with some punches.
The problem is when they're both on the outside, Francis is bigger and the consequences are way more grave.
If Francis clips you, it's nighty-night, I don't care who you are.
He's so confident in it too.
He moves forward and he's going to throw everything full speed.
The first round with him is extremely dangerous because he's just trying to take you the fuck out.
It takes a guy like Stipe.
Stipe Miocic saw what he was doing and what he did was just ride with it.
Just moved away from it.
Kept his hands up.
When Francis was coming after him, he used good defense and he kept moving and kept picking away at him, picking away at him, picking away at him, taking his shots when they were there and then started wearing Francis down, taking him down, beating him up and then just dominated him.
Clear-cut, unanimous decision for five rounds.
It takes a guy like that, a guy like Stipe that has the mental fortitude to stick to a game plan, not panic in the firefight.
Because that's what happens with Ngannou.
You're like, Jesus Christ, I'm going to see lights any second now.
I'm going to see a big flash, and I'm going to be out cold.
Any second now it's coming, and you see the reaction they have to him.
They fight different.
They fight different with him than they do with anybody else.
Because the consequences are so grave.
You watch the way he knocked out Aleister over him.
The consequences are so grave.
So everyone's scared.
It's normal.
Everyone's scared to fight.
At least there's going to be some anxiety or fear.
Your heart rate's going to get jacked.
Your adrenaline's going to be pumping.
But it's even more so if the consequences are more grave.
If you're going to fucking take a skateboard down a small hill, you're not freaking out.
But if you're taking a skateboard down...
Down like four mile canyon.
What is that four mile in Boulder?
What is that one of those crazy roads that goes Sunshine Canyon, right?
If you're taking a skateboard down that, going 50 miles an hour, you're going to shit your fucking pants.
You're going to try to land this thing right.
Try to figure out how not to die here.
Because the consequences are so much graver.
You're going to be more jacked.
And that's what happens to these guys when they fight Francis.
The consequences are so grave.
They make mistakes.
And then with Junior, he reached for an overhand right.
He just really, really extended himself.
You can't do that with Francis.
unidentified
He just clips you.
joey diaz
The scary thing is it's true with Krokov.
Everybody has a game plan, and then they get punched in the face.
joe rogan
That's Mike Tyson.
Mike Tyson said that.
joey diaz
Oh, Mike Tyson said that.
I think it's un gallo that, you know, once you get that first point.
I only saw two fights.
The funniest one was the first one against a kid from Dallas.
Props to him.
He went up against a lieutenant in the KKK. The guy drew blue on his face at the weigh-in.
They almost got into a little scuffle in the weigh-in.
He had no fucking love in his face.
He didn't smile one time.
He was definitely a member of the KKK. And this little black dude from Dallas came in.
And he did a spinning back kick and that dude, it was all over.
joe rogan
I don't know who you're talking about.
joey diaz
First fight on the main card.
Which fight?
Undefeated from the non-contender series.
joe rogan
Oh, I didn't see that fight.
joey diaz
First fight on the card.
He's 8-0 now out of Dallas.
Strong little guy.
Really good.
He's going to grow a little bit.
He's going to get knocked out once before he really makes that big jump.
But once he gets it, the guy kept doing spinning back kicks on him.
The second one, he was right in his back.
This guy just hates black people.
Who?
joe rogan
The guy on the right?
No, that's Paul Craig.
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
That guy there?
joe rogan
Paul Craig is great.
joey diaz
No, he's probably great.
It's a fucking joke.
joe rogan
I know, but that's a real person.
joey diaz
He went in with a tough face, you know, like fucking the guy from, he went in there like fucking Braveheart.
joe rogan
He's a tough guy.
Paul Craig is a good guy, too.
joey diaz
But wait till you see the fucking fight.
joe rogan
I'll see it.
joey diaz
No, it was great.
The guy waited for the second one, and when the foot landed, he was right behind him.
And that'd be no time.
Click!
Guy turned around, and he hit him with a fucking drop in right hand.
You could see his feet just go.
You know when you come, are your feet just playing?
Same thing.
It looked like he came.
He just went.
joe rogan
Jamie's got it.
Oh, Jesus.
joey diaz
Yeah.
That's the first one.
So right away, he timed it.
That's it.
joe rogan
Oh, man.
The last one he did while the guy was already out.
joey diaz
Tremendous.
joe rogan
Boom.
joey diaz
There he goes.
joe rogan
Boom.
unidentified
Boom.
joey diaz
There he go.
He's probably right now reading fucking Malcolm X's biography.
unidentified
Jesus.
joey diaz
That was ferocious.
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was ferocious.
Why do people want...
unidentified
Fuck it.
joe rogan
I wonder why people want to spin that much.
You know, those like that...
joey diaz
I hate all that shit.
Spinning punches.
Why are you giving your back to a killer?
I never understood it.
joe rogan
Well, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying if you're not that good at it.
He doesn't have like a really fast...
joey diaz
You didn't commit to it.
joe rogan
Edson Barboza...
Okay?
Edson Barboza wheel kicks people and puts them on Pluto.
He's spinning back kicks you to the body.
I mean, his kicks, his spinning kicks are fucking insane.
But these guys are not that good.
Like, what I'm saying is, like, Paul Craig, that's not his specialty.
He's more of a grappler.
I mean, he can strike, obviously.
He's a good striker.
But I wouldn't think that he would want to throw spin kicks.
He's not like a Taekwondo guy, I don't think.
joey diaz
If you don't do Taekwondo for 10 years, why are you spinning kicking in the UFC against an athletic player?
Guy, you know, all those things.
I hate when they, even that reverse punch, when the guy keeps doing it and doing it, I'm like, you know what, choke him.
Bust him in the fucking ear.
joe rogan
See, when you're talking about like Edson Barboza, though, like the spinning kick he landed on Dan Hangman, kept fucking kicking his body with those spinning back kicks, just fucking insane.
joey diaz
You gotta commit to that spinning back kick.
Speaking of my commitment, how about Max Holloway spinning the little fucking cap off the bottle?
joe rogan
Isn't that cute?
joey diaz
And then they got the guitar player did it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
What's his name?
joe rogan
John Mayer.
unidentified
John Mayer.
joe rogan
Yeah, he did it too.
So did Max Holloway invented it?
joey diaz
I don't know how.
I just saw it on...
jamie vernon
Is he the first one?
joe rogan
That's amazing.
Everybody's trying to do it now.
That's amazing.
Max Holloway, he's such a fucking cool guy.
I love that guy.
joey diaz
Wynn plays the show.
He's a champion.
unidentified
He'll come back.
joe rogan
Yeah, man.
Like, who the fuck loses better than him?
joey diaz
Yeah.
unidentified
He's tremendous.
joe rogan
The way he lost to Dustin Poirier.
joey diaz
Tremendous.
joe rogan
Zero excuses, all love, all happiness.
He's amazing.
Jason Statham, what's he doing?
What's going on?
jamie vernon
He didn't say two.
joe rogan
No, let me see.
He's a real karate guy.
Jason Statham has real striking skills.
Like, you can tell even the way he's standing here.
Like, the way he's moving.
No, no, no.
He's going to spin.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
But even the way he's doing it, this guy's got real skill.
Look at that.
Kapow.
He achieved a very high level of skill in karate.
I don't know exactly what it was, but from people that I know that have done martial arts with him and trained with him, they said, that guy's a bad motherfucker, like a legit badass, really knows martial arts.
I believe it.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
You see him, you're like, I believe it.
See him in, like, Snatch, one of those movies.
Like, yeah.
He fuck people up.
joey diaz
Aided a mechanic, too.
That's why I don't even look at his face.
unidentified
Yeah, I know.
joe rogan
I know it bothers you, but hey, it's a gig.
joey diaz
I don't want to look at his fucking face.
unidentified
You understand?
Gotta take a gig.
joe rogan
It's hard, man.
joey diaz
I'm ashamed of him.
joe rogan
You really should just say to them, hey, let's not do that.
Let's just write a movie that's similar and an homage to it.
joey diaz
And no, they didn't even do an homage.
That's what really pissed me.
There was no respect at any level for Charles Bronson.
Not even a fucking ounce.
Not even an ounce.
Why?
joe rogan
Why do you say that?
What do you mean?
joey diaz
If you watch the mechanic and study the mechanic, it just wasn't a white guy shooting people.
He was very calculated.
There was no very calculated.
Everything was made to look like it was an accident.
It's one of the best beginnings.
The only movie that starts better than The Mechanic is Scarface.
There's something that has a better opening, I forget.
There's no fucking dialogue for 11 minutes, 12 minutes.
It's him setting up a guy to make it look like the fucking...
Heater blew up.
Like those type of guys.
I had a friend that he used to say the best way to kill somebody is breaking the house, take the fucking pipe, the gas thing out of the stove, point it down, and light a can on the refrigerator, and then leave.
unidentified
Whoa.
joey diaz
And give it 15, 20 minutes, and it's night-night Irene.
joe rogan
What is this, Jamie?
joey diaz
This is the beginning of the mechanic.
This is the beginning of the mechanic.
joe rogan
This is the beginning of the original one.
joey diaz
The original one.
Wow.
You know, Jan Michael Vincent's father, in the movie, Charles Bronson kills.
He gets a contract to kill him.
That's how Jan Michael drifts to him.
When he killed him, it made him look like he had a heart attack.
He went to his medical file, and he saw he had a weak heart, and he went to meet him, and then he shot at the road.
And he goes, run, run.
So it was the guy who was running.
He had a heart attack.
Jason Stratham and whoever the fuck made the movie make it look like he was just shooting up Charlie.
Now you're saying to me, Joey, why do you take so much offense?
Because it's, you know, it's the fucking mechanic.
It was that good of a goddamn movie.
You know, they redid Death Wish.
No, no, no.
You know, you can't redo Death Wish.
One of the most disturbing movies you'll ever see.
joe rogan
Bruce Willis.
joey diaz
Yeah, he should be shot and hung and shot again.
Okay?
I mean, he did fucking...
Listen, you know what Death Wish has that nobody remembers?
joe rogan
What?
joey diaz
And I saw it when I was 10. This is why I don't play that shit.
It has one of the most disturbing rape scenes you'll ever see.
And Jeff Goldblum's in it.
Remember, they knocked his daughter out, raped her, spray-painted her ass.
I left that movie being 11, like, fearing for my mom now.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
Like, I left there, and I became tired with my mom at the bar.
I tried to get a stick and a knife.
Like, that could happen to women?
Like, that happens to women?
Like, guys just rip their pants off?
I didn't know.
I didn't know what that shit was until I watched the, uh, whatever the fuck it is, Death Wish.
joe rogan
It's a different world for women.
joey diaz
Yeah, I couldn't even believe it when I watched that.
They never talk about how disturbing that scene is.
joe rogan
That's a thing that most men never have to think about.
Unless you're in jail, most men, most men don't have to think about that.
joey diaz
All women have to think about that.
You know what happened, right?
He goes to Arizona.
They sent him to Arizona to build the building.
And he becomes a redneck.
And the redneck's like, man, that can't happen to you.
He goes, I'll put a little something in your bag for you to take back up to those big city folks.
When Charles Bronson got back to his house, it was a fucking white cannon from Texas.
Paul Kersey, he was an architect.
He gave him a fucking cannon.
So Charles Bronson said, let me go out and have some fun and see what happens.
First night, some guy's like, hey, old timer, give me 20 bucks.
And you could see the panic in his face.
He was an old man.
He stole it.
He stole it.
He didn't take it out and say, fuck you.
No.
He was panicked.
And then he shot the guy in the subway scene.
You could see he's scared.
You remember when I fucking...
Look at him.
Look at him.
Oh, this is great.
That's right.
Right here.
Look, he's just an old man, dog.
53 years old.
Fucking killing it in America.
Giving men like you and me hope.
He was giving older men hope, this fucking guy, right?
joe rogan
I think he was at least 50 years old when he was in...
Oh, wow.
joey diaz
Look, look how scared he is.
Baya!
unidentified
Balapinga!
joey diaz
Right there you go.
Bah!
Look at him.
He's just scared, petrified.
joe rogan
Oh, the suit on, shooting these guys.
Yeah!
joey diaz
This is a brilliant film.
They'll never do that again because they won't take these little fucking details.
He was petrified.
joe rogan
That's a great scene.
In the hard times, I think he was 50 years old by then.
Remember when he played that boxer?
joey diaz
The mechanic, he was 51, I think, hard times.
Yeah, bro.
I think he was 51 in hard times.
joe rogan
There was no TRT back then, son.
That dude was doing push-ups, chin-ups, steak and eggs.
joey diaz
And he was going to Formosa.
I forgot what people...
joe rogan
What's Formosa?
joey diaz
That Formosa Cafe, that little bar down there.
joe rogan
That's where he would go?
joey diaz
Like to eat or some shit.
joe rogan
He lived down there?
joey diaz
I don't know what the deal was.
joe rogan
Where did he live?
joey diaz
Well, when he came to L.A., that's where he took the name Bronson from, was that street in Hollywood.
joe rogan
Really?
joey diaz
Bronson.
joe rogan
What was his real name?
joey diaz
He's a Polak.
Radinsky.
Something just that they told him, like, you can't.
unidentified
Pachinsky.
joey diaz
Yeah, you can't.
joe rogan
Pachinsky?
joey diaz
Yeah, you can't have that name.
So he looked around Hollywood.
joe rogan
Perfect.
joey diaz
And said, Bronson, do you fucking believe that?
When you hear that shit, like, wait a second.
So you were walking down the street.
It's like when you had Jamie Foxx on here.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
He made his name Jamie Foxx because people would think he was a hot chick.
joe rogan
Exactly.
joey diaz
That is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard in my life.
joe rogan
Jamie Foxx was a bad motherfucker.
joey diaz
A brilliant man.
joe rogan
He's a brilliant man.
joey diaz
Brilliant.
joe rogan
The fact that he figured that out.
joey diaz
Yeah.
If I'm a hot chick.
joe rogan
Because they pick your name on the lineup, they see that Jamie Foxx, you get a chance to get up there.
So smart.
joey diaz
If a guy sees that Foxx, whatever, Jamie, especially with an I, he spells it J-I-M-I. Does he?
Yeah.
Doesn't he Jamie?
Oh, he's basically regular Jamie.
That makes you think it's a broad right off the fucking bat.
joe rogan
If it's Jamie, J-A-Y-M-I-E, I would say it's a girl.
jamie vernon
Yeah, usually the I before the M is a girl spelling.
joe rogan
There's a lot of those weird words like Sean.
There's a lot of hot Seans that are girls, right?
What else?
What other ones?
It's a guarantee.
They used to be like Stacy.
They used to be named Dude Stacy.
Like Stacy Keech.
You know, there's a lot of dudes, like in their 60s, they used to name guys Stacy.
joey diaz
There's a name that a friend of mine had that was a guy, I can't remember it now.
joe rogan
Wasn't there one of the weird guys in Airplane?
Leslie.
They used to name guys Leslie.
How weird, that's a weird one!
What was his name, Leslie?
jamie vernon
Leslie Nielsen.
joe rogan
Leslie Nielsen.
Hilarious.
That guy was hilarious.
Wasn't he in Creepshow, too?
Was he one of the people in Creepshow that got killed?
I feel like he was one of those people that got buried on the beach or some shit like that.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
He's a husband.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He did something to some rich guy.
I think I buried him up to his head.
I forget.
Those fucking scary horror movies like Creepshow fun horror movies, they don't make enough of those anymore either.
Those are my favorite movies.
joey diaz
Well, they forgot how to make them.
How?
Scream wasn't bad, right?
joe rogan
It wasn't bad at all.
joey diaz
And what year was that?
87. No.
97. Sorry.
96, 97. I'm sorry.
96, 97. That was a fun-ass movie.
I think that's the last one I watched.
But the last movie to scare the living fuck out of me was the first Nightmare on Elm Street with the tongue coming out of the phone.
Before that, people are like, you don't watch Walking Dead.
You know why?
Again, I'm loyal to fucking when I was a kid.
Those Dawn of the Dead movies.
What was the guy that wrote those?
joe rogan
George Romero.
joey diaz
George Romero.
I'm loyal to him.
My loyalty's with him.
I took acid and went to George Romero.
That one Dawn of the Dead when the helicopter chops the black guy's head off.
When he doesn't even...
The helicopter lands and he's a zombie.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
And I think it chops his head off.
I remember tripping on acid.
I almost had a fucking heart attack.
joe rogan
Walking Dead was awesome for the first few episodes.
They just lost...
You just can't keep something like that up forever.
It just becomes too hard to keep the story going.
The story got too weird.
But the best zombie horror movie of all time is 28 Days Later.
That's the best one.
That's that British movie.
We didn't get it until way after it came out in the theater over there.
Most people have seen it on cable or DVD, right?
Was 28 Days Later even in the theaters out here?
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Was it?
jamie vernon
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
The one after that was a big deal, but it was a British movie, right?
Goddamn, that movie's good.
I remember I bought a version of it on VHS. Remember European VHS was a different format?
It was like, you had to have a different player, or you had to have a player that was a universal player that could play both.
I had one of those.
Just so I could get some cool documentaries and shit that you would get from Europe.
joey diaz
Just as a reminder, I want to give props to American Airlines for returning my luggage after the whole weekend, and they missed that fucking half ounce of weed in my boxing glove.
unidentified
I'm sick of that.
joey diaz
Sir, if you're the delivery driver, you're a dumb fuck.
That was your tip.
They lost my Muay Thai bag.
joe rogan
They did?
joey diaz
I was going to Columbus to go to a short Muay Thai, and I brought my little fucking shin pads and my gloves and some hand wraps.
joe rogan
You've been doing that a lot lately, huh?
Muay Thai.
joey diaz
I love it.
joe rogan
It's great, right?
joey diaz
I go twice a week.
I'm 56, the targets, the thing, and I take the class, everybody else, I do everything else, I die, then I go to one boxing, because Tuesday and Wednesday, Tuesday and Thursday is boxing.
joe rogan
Now when you do the class, do they have you spar?
joey diaz
I'm 56, I light, no head key, none of that shit.
Just me and you tapping, popping out, working on combinations, shit like that.
Saturdays, Sundays, I go in, there's an open mat.
If I'm home, I go in, there's a chick that's like an ice cop.
joe rogan
An ice cop?
Oh no.
joey diaz
You know, she's a tough chick.
joe rogan
Yeah?
joey diaz
Yeah, she trains with Brett and the whole thing, so I go down and just let her beat me up to death.
joe rogan
Let me ask you this.
As someone who was born in another country, how do you think that they should handle the immigrations that are here?
Because this is the big question.
A lot of people know people that are, I mean, probably a lot of people listening, know someone who they love that's illegal.
Whether they're illegal from Canada, or they're illegal from Europe, or they're illegal from Mexico, wherever the fuck.
There's a lot of people that get over here and stay over here that aren't supposed to be.
Some of them turn out to be amazing people.
So how do you decide?
How do you decide who gets to stay?
And there's someone coming over here trying to make their life a better thing, but just doing it illegally.
Does that automatically discount them from staying here?
That seems crazy.
What if they're great?
There's a lot of people come over here because They were super unfortunate in where they were born.
They grew up in a shitty place, and they wanted to make it better, but they didn't know how to do it, so they came over to America by hook or by crook.
They figured out how to get here.
They got here, and now they're kicking ass.
Why would you want to get rid of them?
As long as they're not criminals, as long as they're not hurting anybody, why would you want to get rid of them?
joey diaz
Well, for starters, let's do this.
What's going on right now just points the finger at.
A certain realm.
You're pointing the fingers south of the border.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's Canadians.
A lot of Canadians.
joey diaz
And I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody.
This is the United States of America.
People come here to fucking have a dream.
And whatever happens, bro.
Sometimes the dream goes kaput.
You know, when I went to New York, I spent three weeks in New York and I Ubered.
And I did a little thing in my mind.
You know, I took 20 Ubers.
In fact, I became Uber Platinum.
Because I was doing, you know, all these rides.
Not one white person picked me up.
Not one time.
Not one time.
And guess what?
I asked questions.
I asked everybody questions, and the most inspiring person I met was one that I worked at.
I rapped at 6.30 in the morning.
There was no way I was getting in the van to go home, and I just called Uber.
I was in Ridgewood, Brooklyn, and this Indian girl picked me up.
Very cute.
You know, 6 in the fucking morning.
It's still kind of dark out, you know, 5.30, whatever it was.
And this little girl that weighed 90 pounds picked me up.
Got in the car.
Hello?
We have charger in the back if you want to charge your car.
And there's little caramels in the front.
You know?
And I said, where are you from?
And she told me, India.
And I go, how long have you been here?
A year and a half.
Spoke perfect English.
unidentified
Wow.
joey diaz
I go, why did you become an Uber driver?
She goes, I became an Uber driver because I was a waitress in an Indian restaurant.
And the guy abused me and he would only pay me eight bucks an hour and take half my tips.
So me and my cousins got together.
We put away money and we rent a car.
We lease the car.
She drives in the daytime and I drive it at night.
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
And I go, why aren't you scared to go out at night?
She's like, no.
She's like, I love it because there's no traffic at night.
I go, what do you walk with?
I just asked her creepy questions.
I just asked her questions.
I gave her an extra tip.
joe rogan
Let me ask you this.
Can you be illegal and do that?
Do they check your citizenship?
joey diaz
I don't know what the status was with her.
I didn't ask her.
joe rogan
I didn't know she was a citizen.
What do you think?
Do you think that you could do that?
Do you think if you came from Guatemala illegally, you came over here though and became an Uber driver, could you do that?
joey diaz
Me?
joe rogan
No, can anybody do that?
Or do they check your citizenship?
What do you think, Jamie?
jamie vernon
Yes, they can do that.
joe rogan
So someone definitely can come over here and start working for Uber or a similar company?
jamie vernon
I'm not saying they're doing that necessarily through the proper ways.
If you have a legal friend, you can use their license to be the Uber thing.
They don't know who's behind the car.
It happens all the time when I'm ordering food.
joe rogan
You definitely have to have a valid driver's license, right?
unidentified
Yes, someone does.
joe rogan
So can you get a valid driver's license if you're illegal?
jamie vernon
That's what I'm saying.
No, but that doesn't stop someone from getting behind a car if you don't have a license any day.
That's sort of what I'm going with.
joey diaz
Is someone getting in trouble right now?
Aren't we on the shit list?
We agreed and somebody else to give illegals licenses.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's why I was asking.
There was a thought, a memory that popped in my head about some story like that.
That they were going to give illegal aliens the right to drive.
jamie vernon
I'm sort of saying it does happen, but not above the board, basically.
joe rogan
Yeah, but are you sure?
Could you see if they're trying to give illegal aliens driver's licenses?
Because I remember a story like this as well.
People were super upset about it.
It's a weird thing, man.
jamie vernon
There's 13 states that allow it.
joe rogan
There you go, baby!
Where do you have to move?
What are those states?
jamie vernon
And D.C. California is the first one.
As of 2013, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, everywhere there's weed.
Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Nevada, New Mexico, New York.
unidentified
Interesting.
jamie vernon
Yeah, everywhere there's weed.
joe rogan
Hawaii doesn't necessarily have weed.
jamie vernon
Utah, Vermont.
joe rogan
I think Hawaii just says medical.
jamie vernon
It's very close to that.
joey diaz
From a business standpoint, they work for cheaper.
I mean, there's so many benefits as a business owner.
I mean, when was the last time you saw a white laborer?
joe rogan
You see him.
joey diaz
You go in the kitchen at any restaurant, it's all, you know, I mean, so now you're questioning what rights you have as an American.
You come here, you get a job, you're working hard, you stay out of trouble.
Yeah.
You stay out of trouble, you mind your business, you know.
I mean, you and I grew up on the East Coast, where you go to a Chinese restaurant, and you'd see the husband and wife working, and the kids would be doing homework at the back table.
And if you came in the daytime, it was a different couple, which is telling me that two couples got together, they buy a home, And they open a business together.
They work together.
That's what those immigrant groups do.
And then from there, they bring a cousin and they open, they open.
And next thing you know, they got three houses on the block.
And now you just had a fucking immigrant family move into your neighborhood.
Not necessarily good or bad.
You know what I'm saying?
They're nice.
We all had them in our neighborhoods.
joe rogan
Sure.
joey diaz
And remember, 70 years ago, this was your grandparents.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
So you have to think about your grandparents.
How would you want them treated?
I'm sure your grandfather got a job laying brick way before he got his immigration papers.
I don't know how they did it right.
joe rogan
I think they got it pretty quick.
joey diaz
Right.
You get to Ellis Island and they push you through.
I mean, the legal situation...
joe rogan
It was a different world back then.
You could immigrate pretty easily.
My grandparents weren't rocket scientists when they came over here.
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
They were kids.
Their parents weren't geniuses.
joey diaz
They were farmers.
Do you know what's going on in South America right now?
Nicaragua, Honduras, all those places.
Pure hell.
Pure hell, you know?
I can't be mad at you for wanting to get the fuck out of there.
But there's other places on earth right now where there's pure fucking hell going on.
And they're trying to come over too.
Let's point everybody out.
Let's lock all the fucking borders.
Don't make it seem like it's just Mexico that's the fucking problem.
You know?
We're getting bombarded from everywhere.
We're getting new people in here every day from everywhere.
I ain't mad at it.
They're coming here to make better lives.
But don't just keep pointing the fucking border at.
You know who else is coming through that Mexican border that nobody's talked about?
Jamie, when you get a minute, if you'd love to check it just to verify me.
You know how many Cubans are getting sent back to Cube on a daily basis from Mexico?
joe rogan
Really?
joey diaz
Getting back to get them shot.
joe rogan
But Cubans, when they come to America...
joey diaz
They're not coming through Miami no more.
joe rogan
Why?
joey diaz
They're not coming through...
They've closed all that type of shit.
unidentified
What?
joey diaz
So right now...
joe rogan
You can't come through Miami anymore?
joey diaz
It's easier to go from Cuba to Mexico and just join the walk.
joe rogan
Whoa.
joey diaz
And walk up.
joe rogan
But once Cubans are in America, we give them asylum, right?
joey diaz
Right.
The tag.
joe rogan
Is that still going on?
joey diaz
I think Obama removed it.
joe rogan
Did he really?
joey diaz
Yes.
joe rogan
Trump made it so he can't go over there anymore.
joey diaz
There you go.
joe rogan
Africans, Cubans, PAC, Mexican shelters, hoping for a shot in town.
unidentified
They're going through Mexico.
joey diaz
People are going through Mexico now.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
joey diaz
So I think the number a couple weeks ago, I think 900 Cubans are getting sent back weekly to get shot.
joe rogan
Do you think that more people are making towards the border since Trump was like, build that wall, build that wall?
Do you think more people are headed towards the border now because it's a popular thing to do?
It's a part of our culture.
A part of the conversation is the border wall, right?
Do you want a border wall or do you not want a border wall?
Build that wall, make it a fucking million feet high, bring it right to that top of the earth.
Or are you one of those people that thinks anybody should be able to come over here and have a better life?
Those two ideas are fucking clashing left and right.
Some people think that people should be able to try to do better, try to better themselves.
They should have the opportunity.
And then some people think, fuck them.
You were born somewhere else.
You don't ever get a chance to come over here.
Go in through proper channels, which is almost impossible.
Do something that's very valuable to us over here.
See, that's the thing.
If you're a person who has some extraordinary skill, you could probably get American citizenship easier.
You're unusual.
If you're contributing to the physics department at Harvard or something like that, and you were born in Germany or wherever, you probably could get citizenship a little bit quicker.
And you have just a guy who lives in Guatemala and wants to come to America because he thinks he can advance his life.
He thinks he can get better, whereas where he lives, you can't go anywhere.
You're stuck.
The poverty is extreme, the crime is extreme, and he wants none of that.
He wants to do better.
So he makes it over here.
joey diaz
Listen, when you talk about immigration, you're going to get good and bad from every country.
You know, Castro in 79 opened up his prisons in Mario, and you got 100,000 Cubans and 100,000 fucking spoiled, rotten savages from Cuban prisons where they wear no clothes and this.
They have to shit in a hole in the middle of the floor.
They're savages.
They're animals.
They got no problem taking your life for a piece of toilet paper.
But the same runs true from other countries.
We get the good...
And they're bad from other countries.
You know, let's not beat around the bush.
Before Russians come here, they get a course.
They go to a school and take a 12-week course on how to come here and get money right off the bat.
How to go to Social Security.
Check that out, Jamie.
That's a very weird one.
They get taught how to come here and scam the system.
Whether you want a call scam.
I'm not putting nobody down.
I have tons of Russian friends.
I love them.
I'm not saying nothing bad, but I've heard that's a fact.
I've heard them from them.
I have a friend who's married, and she told me one day that before they come here, they take a course to prep them on how to get money as soon as they land.
Three days after they land, they get cash in dollar.
Paperwork, what to say, they coach you.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
Is it like a service that they offer?
joey diaz
Yeah.
Some type of class.
joe rogan
Sign up for it if you want to scam the system.
joey diaz
I don't know exactly how it works, but ask somebody to rush.
They'll tell you how to do it.
How many Armenians come over, come over, get citizenship?
Guess what they do?
joe rogan
What?
joey diaz
They get social security and they move back to Armenia and they get the check sent back to Armenia.
They have a system on how to do that.
They got a thousand loopholes now, brother.
And if you learn those loopholes, you could cave the fucking system.
joe rogan
There's nothing wrong with having a group of people that all agree on certain rules, right?
Which is what the United States should be.
But the problem with having a group of people is you don't get to pick, like, who's in that group.
So you're just deciding, instead of being admitted by your merit, or how good a neighbor you are, or how nice of a person you are, whether or not you're born on the dirt.
Were you born on this dirt or that dirt?
Because if you're born on that dirt, you can't stay.
But if you're born on this dirt, even if you're a shit human being, you get to hang out.
You get to ruin other people's lives while you're here.
As long as you don't do enough that we need to put you in a cage.
And then if we do, we keep you for a couple years and let you out and you do more.
We have no problem with that.
joey diaz
I don't know what...
What the percentage is.
What the fuck was I going to tell you?
I don't know.
I lost my thought of it.
joe rogan
What the percentage of good people versus bad people that come across the border?
The thing is, every time there's a bad one that comes across the border, it's highlighted as an example of why we've got to keep the border closed.
And they have a point.
They all have a point.
Absolutely.
When you see someone who is talking about illegal gang members that are sneaking across the border and murdering people, it absolutely has happened.
It's 100% a real thing.
It's not fiction.
The question is, how much does it happen?
And how much better is it for those people's lives that make it across?
Is there a way to screen better to make sure that the bad people don't come in?
All these questions are legitimate.
You know, you don't want a bunch of fucking evil, vicious people from another country in your neighborhood.
That's how everybody feels.
You don't want your children, your family to be in danger because someone snuck across the border and they have a long history of working for the cartel murdering people.
That's a real thing.
That's a real possibility.
So all the people that are vigilant and all the people that are scared, you know, they're probably smart to be scared.
Look at fucking human history.
People are capable of doing some awful shit.
No one's saying...
I'm not...
I don't think there should be no...
No wall at all.
Nothing stopping people from coming across.
You definitely don't want pieces of shit coming over here.
But the problem is how do you find out?
joey diaz
Did you ever notice that maybe we're full?
joe rogan
Yeah, we're probably...
joey diaz
Maybe we're full.
Did you notice that when you go on, there's homeless people on Ventura fucking Boulevard, on Lancashire Boulevard, under bridges everywhere.
Has it ever come to your mind that anywhere you go, there's cars everywhere, and they're between Uber and Lyft and cabs.
Now there's traffic in every major fucking city.
There's deadlock or whatever.
Did you ever notice that maybe it's not that I hate Cubans or Mexicans or Puerto Ricans or blacks or Germans or Irish?
Maybe that we're fucking full.
Have you ever come to that conclusion?
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
That we're just full right now.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
We have to take five years off.
Like, I would accept that.
I would accept that.
I would accept special circumstances.
Like why?
Like you have family here or something.
But at this point right now, we're fucking full, bro.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
joey diaz
We're full.
We don't have nowhere else to put anymore.
We really don't.
joe rogan
Look at your cities.
joey diaz
Unless we pack them all to Iowa and send them all, you know, send them all into my...
Where's the highest population of Mexicans in the country?
joe rogan
I would probably say Southern California, right?
unidentified
Wrong.
joey diaz
Really?
Indiana, Chicago.
joe rogan
Indiana and Chicago?
joey diaz
Yeah.
They farm a ton of shit up in Chicago.
joe rogan
Oh, that makes sense.
joey diaz
Up in rural Illinois.
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
You know, where's the highest population of Puerto Ricans?
The Bronx?
You're wrong.
Cleveland.
joe rogan
Cleveland?
joey diaz
Because in the 50s, they shipped.
All the dealers were taking Puerto Ricans and putting them to the Cleveland, Ohio area to work in the fucking Ford plants and all those type of plants.
And after all those places sat down, all those people sitting there holding on to their dick.
When you go to certain parts of Ohio, there's a suburb outside of Cleveland.
It's all fucking Puerto Rican.
joe rogan
Wow.
Interesting.
joey diaz
But I don't think of it as...
We hate Russians or Germans or anything.
I look at it from a different perspective at times and maybe we're full.
You know, for me to send my daughter to day camp costs three bills a week.
I'm not complaining.
It's a great day camp.
It's a science camp.
They make potions.
They learn about light bulbs and electricity.
My point is I did the same thing for free when I was a kid.
All I had to do was walk to my park.
There's no funds left.
There's nothing left for these kids.
Whenever I walk into a Dodger game or an event, I go, I always think of the family of four in America today.
That both parents have to work.
And everybody has to work.
If you go by my office for the podcast, in the middle is a A 24-hour daycare.
How many times I leave my office at midnight and I see parents picking up their kids, you know, carrying them out over their shoulders into that car?
You know, it costs a lot to control the American family.
There's not a lot of jobs.
Why do you think you see everybody's driving Uber?
If you take Ubers, Ubers is interesting.
I'm thinking of doing a documentary on just going in Ubers and talking to these people and asking them why they're Ubering.
Yesterday I had an engineer.
Engineer, lost his job, 58 years old.
Gotta work.
Asian fellow.
Very nice.
I tipped him extra.
You offered me to plug the phone.
I mean, you know, you have to look at that and go, wow, there's a lot of people in this country without work.
There's a lot of fucking homeless people.
And we're running out of money to take care of what we got here.
joe rogan
It's true.
L.A. has an epidemic of homeless people right now where there's so many tents on the street.
joey diaz
Epi-fucking-demic.
joe rogan
They're everywhere.
joey diaz
They're on fucking Lancashire.
They're in Sherman Oaks on the streets, hiding on the underpasses.
joe rogan
Underpasses are stuffed with them now sometimes.
joey diaz
What are you going to do with them?
joe rogan
You can't walk through those underpasses.
joey diaz
You know what the answer is?
You know what they usually do with them?
They give them a hundred bucks and they give them a bus pass to Vegas.
And now Vegas is stuck with them.
joe rogan
We talked about that on the podcast.
joey diaz
For two months.
joe rogan
Every city's done that.
joey diaz
Every city keeps doing it.
You just keep moving them around like shit.
It's time to get fucking a park and put a tent city and make them be resourceful.
joe rogan
Look at this.
There are more than 110,000 empty rental units in Los Angeles.
Filling those spaces won't solve the housing or the homeless crisis.
Yeah, but the problem is if these fucking things are for rent and you have these homeless people that are drug addicts and probably mentally insane and you let them stay in those rental apartments, they're going to destroy your rental place.
joey diaz
Well, let's be honest.
There's 110,000.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
joe rogan
It all depends on what kind of homeless person you're talking about.
Are you talking about a person who's down on his luck or are you talking about a mental illness person?
joey diaz
Drug addiction.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
That stuff...
joe rogan
Violently...
joey diaz
When I see 60...
When I see 100...
When I see 10,000 homeless people in L.A., I got to assume 4,000 of them are people who are down in their luck.
They made a slip.
They got four flat tires, and they just get...
You know, there's times people go through shit for periods of time.
It could be a year.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
It could be...
It's like these fucking hikers.
Every fucking three days, a hiker gets lost, okay?
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
These hikers get lost.
And they stroll off.
When they get saved, they're all happy.
You see them on Eyewitness News.
They're all happy.
Wait till they get the bill.
unidentified
Bzzz!
joe rogan
Do they get hit with a bill?
joey diaz
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
Every time?
joey diaz
Most.
We think those helicopters cost.
joe rogan
So they...
joey diaz
There's volunteer groups.
There's volunteer groups.
If every fucking hiker got paid for, for a fucking taxpayer, we'd be broke.
joe rogan
So like in Colorado, say if you're one of those hikers who goes and snaps her ankle and you're on a ridge somewhere, they come and get you.
joey diaz
That costs somebody money.
You got to pay somebody.
There's no fucking tax fund.
joe rogan
How much does that cost?
That's going to cost a lot of money.
joey diaz
If you get hit, listen, like a lady who got stuck in Hawaii for a week, wherever the fuck she was a month ago, those helicopters cost something.
joe rogan
She got stuck in Hawaii?
Oh, the lady, the yoga teacher that got lost in the woods?
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
They found her, right?
joey diaz
Yeah, they found her.
I assume, I'm just saying this story just because what happens if something like that happens to you?
And you get hit.
You ever get involved in a lawsuit?
Okay, in a lawsuit, I rear-end Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan's neck and, God forbid, his neck and his back are hurt.
He can't do who gots, right?
You file a claim against me.
While you're going to the doctor, right, all those months, what does the doctor usually rate you at?
Everything's payable at 30 days.
30 is it.
When you start getting those $1,100 bills from when they look in your knee and in your neck, when you get 10 of those, how are you going to pay them?
Because you can't pay it until you get the settlement from the fucking attorney.
A lot of times people go broke.
By the time they get the money, The ship is sailed.
It takes seven years to get that money.
You've been going to the doctor for three years.
Wait, the insurance covers all this?
What insurance?
joe rogan
Well, tell everybody with the neck collars it's more complicated.
joey diaz
What's that?
joe rogan
Tell everybody with the neck collars it's more complicated.
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
So all those bills add up.
You get hit with a bunch of bills, Joe, you're homeless.
unidentified
Yep.
joey diaz
You're homeless.
It's you and your wife, whatever.
It's homeless.
Unless you have parents and, you know, you're homeless.
So when I look at the homeless...
Situation, when you hit me with a 50,000 number, which is a lie, if you go around L.A., it's a lie.
Land at the airport and hook that fucking thing onto the 405 North and look under there.
There's 100 people just under there.
So whatever number they tell you...
joe rogan
What do you think they tell you as far as homeless population in L.A.? I don't know.
joey diaz
I know Garcetti's under fire.
Like, I know that they're fucking...
Yeah.
Like, the people are pissed because they gave him $2 million.
unidentified
What can they do?
joey diaz
They gave him $2 million.
They gave him money and he didn't do dick.
joe rogan
Oh really?
joey diaz
Yeah, they gave him some type of money.
You gotta put up some shelters.
I saw that up in North Hollywood Studios there's a church that on Thursdays they go and take showers there.
joe rogan
You know, there was a place in Maine that was offering, they were offering young couples.
They wanted young people and young families to move up there.
Because it's tough to get people to live in some of those parts of Maine.
So they offered incentives for young people to move up there.
And a lot of African folks started moving up there.
You know, they found out that that was a good place to be.
And so they, like, filled up a lot of their shelters up there.
There was an article about that.
See if you can find that.
Interesting.
It's like, hey, they're like, look, I know it's cold as fuck, but we'll take a chance.
They're from a war-torn part of the world.
If they could just be cold in Maine and be at peace, they'll take it.
That's why Marcus Davis lived up there.
I asked him, remember UFC fighter?
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I asked him, like, why do you like it in Maine?
He's like, there's no fucking crime.
He goes, it's none.
He's like, there's none.
He goes, everybody's nice.
It's cold as fuck, but everybody's nice.
joey diaz
We're in a comedy club up there.
joe rogan
Where was the comedy club?
joey diaz
It was on a wharf and it floated.
joe rogan
No.
joey diaz
Where's that kid from?
Maine or Vermont?
Marley.
joe rogan
Bob Marley's from Maine, yeah.
joey diaz
Okay, it was in Maine.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
Bob Marley got into the club one time.
joe rogan
Was that...
More asylum seekers arrive in Portland, Maine from southern border.
A city debates assistance.
Portland's Human Resources Director criticizes comments by Mayor Ethan Strimling welcoming the arrival of more immigrants.
They'd say that they're all from Africa?
jamie vernon
It doesn't say specifically Africa, but they're buying on bus tickets to go from, like, San Antonio and other parts in Texas.
joe rogan
Oh, I think this is a different one.
This is a different thing.
Yeah.
Just Google it from Africa.
jamie vernon
I did.
joe rogan
Did you?
jamie vernon
Main African shelter should have popped up.
That's just one person.
joe rogan
A new migrant surge from the border.
This one from Central Africa.
Wow.
Interesting.
But, you know, for other people in other parts of the world, like, I'll take it.
I get it.
Maine is, it is cold as fuck for a good stretch of the winter, but, you know, they just stay indoors and keep the fucking heat on.
Whoa!
joey diaz
Look at that.
joe rogan
LA population, LA County homeless population jumps.
So from 2011, it was 39,414.
And in 2019, it's 58,936.
So it jumped up a fucking ton.
Almost 20,000.
And that's just over a period of eight years.
That's crazy.
That's a lot of people.
joey diaz
There's a couple dudes by my house I take care of.
There's a couple dudes that live in shopping carts.
I always drop a little food.
There's one dude that was like a soldier with PTSD. And he lives in the park.
He's got to be 6'4", 280, big black.
What do you want to do?
Every time I see him, I pull over.
I give him a 20. I introduce him to my wife and my daughter.
You see anything?
You just attack.
Just attack.
You rip him apart.
When my daughter started going to grammar school, I saw him one day walking by the grammar school.
I pulled right up.
I go, you see that grammar school right there?
That's when my daughter goes to school.
You see these suspicious white people?
You just rip them apart.
Let me deal with it later.
He has a Rambo knife bigger than Rambo.
Bigger than Rambo.
I love him.
I love him to death.
You could see where the PTSD and mental health.
He won't take showers.
unidentified
Oh, no.
joey diaz
But he's got a heart of gold.
Whenever he sees him, he smiles.
He gives me a thumbs up.
I've been in that neighborhood 10 years.
I see him in that park maybe six.
Never violent behavior.
He doesn't drink alcohol.
So I know he's not just a fucking drunk.
joe rogan
He just can't get a job?
joey diaz
It's just mental health.
No, it's a mental health issue.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
He's a veteran.
I asked him, "How you doing?
What's going on?" And he told me his whole, like, little story as much as he could without being embarrassed.
So I just duked him.
Every time I see him, I just put money in his pan.
Good for you.
And he's as happy as a pig and shit.
But he's a fucking stone killer.
There ain't gonna be no shootings at that kid's school.
Because I got him checking it out three times a day.
You think I'm kidding you?
You think I'm kidding you?
I love him.
I love him to death.
My wife waves at him.
We beep at him.
Mercy waves at him.
Everybody's happy with him.
Just so there's no misunderstandings.
I got a little peace of mind.
joe rogan
Is there ever gonna be a time when there's no bad neighborhoods?
Is that possible?
Is it possible to have a place where there's no crime at all?
What do you think?
Is that ever really going to be possible?
I mean, it's definitely better now than it ever has been before.
And you can think that if things move in the same general direction, there'll be less crime 100 years from now than 100 years ago.
But do you ever think there's going to be a time where everywhere is safe?
joey diaz
You know, the internet gives you a lot of education on what cities are having a hard time.
They don't tell you, but they don't really fill you in.
You know, every weekend you see the murder camp in Chicago.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
joey diaz
Every weekend, the murder camp in Chicago.
These fucking countries ain't no safer.
Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico.
Think about a year ago, they had as many shootings in Puerto Rico one weekend as they do in fucking Chicago on the weekends.
You know?
Look at the shit that happens in L.A. We don't hear everything.
joe rogan
What's happening in the Dominican Republic?
All these people are dying.
joey diaz
I don't know.
joe rogan
What is happening?
joey diaz
It's a mini bar, it's this, it's that.
What do you think, Jamie?
joe rogan
What do you think, Jamie?
jamie vernon
Speculation.
I heard that there's lots of deals that get made from, like, if you had a friend that was, like, maybe refilling mini bars, your other friend would then refill the little bottles with not actual liquor or something like that.
They just kind of refill those.
I've seen videos online.
It's not actually happening in the Dominican Republic, but we're all-inclusive resorts.
That's what the video said.
They're just refilling bottles of Cavarcia and Hennessy and all sorts, just like with brown water.
I don't know what the fuck they're even doing.
It's like a whole system they have.
There's like 15 people, a little factory in the back of the shed on the beach, just filling up empty bottles of shit.
joe rogan
So just ripping people off?
jamie vernon
I don't know if that's what's happening in the DR, but that's what I've read speculation online says that there's just sort of something going on.
joe rogan
Why are you reading this?
jamie vernon
Online.
Again, it's speculation.
It's nowhere.
Legit.
joe rogan
I don't know.
That seems to make sense, right?
If someone had a scam, and those little mini bar bottles are kind of expensive.
jamie vernon
Just put a bad batch, and just like you get bad batches of drugs, they've got to find out who spiked the fentanyl or whatever thing.
joe rogan
Maybe they got some bullshit homemade booze that's poison.
jamie vernon
Could have got spread around.
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Who knows?
joey diaz
Yeah, but the whole thing is suspicious because they're doing kinky shit at the hospital.
joe rogan
Kinky shit?
joey diaz
Yeah.
joe rogan
What kind of kinky shit?
joey diaz
No answering.
joe rogan
No answering?
joey diaz
No hablo.
We don't know.
joe rogan
Oh, well.
You know what it is?
They're probably overwhelmed.
Can you imagine if we're sitting over here talking about it, how many people have been calling them?
How many people are furious because they lost their loved one over there?
They don't know what the fuck is going on?
And then someone said that it's not necessarily really an uptick.
That there's not necessarily really an uptick of deaths.
It's just that they're highlighting every time someone dies.
And that the reality is people die all the time.
I don't know if that makes sense.
I mean, how many people, if you were just looking at Los Angeles, that come here and they visit, wind up having a heart attack and dying?
It might be a lot.
We don't really know.
I mean, how many people come over here from another country every day and wind up dying while they're here?
Is that a normal thing that people do?
Because people do, I mean, if people are dying of heart attacks and all sorts of strokes and all sorts of other shit, is that because someone's doing something to them?
Or is it because 100,000 people a day come over here and one of them a day dies?
I don't know what those numbers are.
I don't know if it's legit.
What are you showing me?
jamie vernon
The people that died.
Grand numbers, I guess, looks like only maybe 12 to 15 people since March.
joe rogan
Since March.
That's a lot.
But is it?
I don't know.
jamie vernon
I don't know if that's it.
joey diaz
Here in California?
jamie vernon
All these people are older than 50 or older.
joe rogan
Yeah, right, which can happen at any point in time, especially if you're on vacation, doing Viagra, drinking straight Jack Daniels, fucking up a storm.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You could have a heart attack, bro.
But all jokes aside, no disrespect to the dead, can you Google how many people, is this an uptick?
What's the best way to say this?
jamie vernon
How many tourists die per year?
joe rogan
Yeah, what's the annual tourist rate?
Tourist death rate?
And is it any different from what we're experiencing now?
Because it would be weird if we just found out that no, this is just what happens.
And they're just making a big deal out of this for a story.
You know, 55-year-old drunk guys die every year in the Dominican Republic and in Cuba and in Puerto Rico.
People get hammered on vacation, bro.
joey diaz
You know what I heard about the Dominican Republic?
What?
That I have no reason to go there.
joe rogan
Why?
joey diaz
They sell cocaine on the beach.
I do not like that idea.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
At all.
When I heard that they sold cocaine on the beach at...
What's the big Mexican resort where the people go for spring break?
Mazatlan, but...
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Tulum?
joey diaz
No, not Tulum.
joe rogan
Cancun?
joey diaz
Cancun.
joe rogan
Cancun.
joey diaz
They sell coke on the beach.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
All those times.
When you sell coke on the beach, I don't want to be on that beach.
And I was a junkie.
You know what I'm saying?
I just have this weird feeling about that.
They sell coke on the beach.
joe rogan
They do that in Costa Rica too.
I had somebody offer me some blow.
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bill Hicks used to have a funny joke about that.
About walking down the street and someone's trying to say, I see you, coke, coke, you got coke.
We got weed, you got coke.
The guy would see me.
Heroin?
And he goes, the fuck?
Why did you think I wanted heroin, man?
I can afford coke.
Very funny.
About 2.7 Americans visited the Dominican Republic last year, which publicly releases data only about natural deaths such as car crashes and drownings.
It does not release information about deaths by natural causes such as heart attacks or strokes, even though it compiles reports on all Americans who die abroad.
It's a matter of statistics that a certain number of travelers will suffer serious illnesses, accidents, and even death while traveling internationally.
The death rate in the Dominican Republic is not any higher than the death rate in the states, officials said.
That's what I'm talking about.
When people visit other countries, don't expect them to stay alive, because you don't expect them to stay alive here.
They die all the time.
But when you're talking about, what did they say, what was the hundreds of thousands?
How many hundreds of thousands people visit the Dominican Republic every year?
jamie vernon
2.7 million visited last year.
Americans visited last year.
joe rogan
Oh my god, really?
2.7 million?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joey diaz
That's a lot of fucking people.
jamie vernon
10 people died.
12 people have died, I guess.
joe rogan
Why did I think it was hundreds of thousands?
That's way more.
joey diaz
So last year, 11 people died?
joe rogan
Last year?
jamie vernon
No.
joe rogan
This year?
jamie vernon
In the last couple of months, last 12 people died.
joe rogan
That's a lot of fucking people going over there, man.
People die.
But meanwhile, everybody's scared to go to the Dominican Republic, so it's like probably killing their business and...
unidentified
Oh, he was fine until he drank out of the mini bar.
joe rogan
Come on, man.
Are you sure?
You know, some people, I'm sure, are getting fucked.
The scary one was the lady who got attacked.
There was a lady who got attacked.
joey diaz
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
They beat her half to death.
She has no idea what happened.
She saw a guy with an outfit on from the resort, like an employee's outfit, and he fucking clubbed her and beat the shit out of her, and she doesn't remember anything.
He left her for dead.
And when they found her, they thought she was dead.
joey diaz
You know, bro, I gotta be honest with you, for the last 10, 20 years, there ain't nowhere I really want to go.
unidentified
Thank you.
joe rogan
Hawaii is awesome.
joey diaz
I'm scared of all that shit.
unidentified
Go to Hawaii.
joe rogan
It's the United States.
They're the nicest fucking people in the world.
Yeah, go to Maui or, you know.
joey diaz
My wife and I sat down and we're like, all the places you want to go, it's a six hour fucking flight.
joe rogan
It's true.
joey diaz
You know, and after a while, doing what we do, we got some of the best coastline in the world here.
If you stop down by San Diego, mix it up a little bit.
One of the beaches, go up north to Santa Barbara, go even up a little north.
You know, uh, So, we're going to do that a little bit.
I mean...
joe rogan
Santa Barbara's beautiful.
joey diaz
Santa Barbara's beautiful.
joe rogan
That's like being on a vacation, you know, and you're an hour away.
joey diaz
We take too many fucking planes to be on six hours to go to fucking Miami or New York.
I thought about taking it to the Jersey Shore.
I thought about doing a lot of shit like that this summer.
joe rogan
You know what you could do, too?
You could take a couple-day trip, like go to Santa Barbara for a day.
joey diaz
Yeah, that's what I'm doing this week.
joe rogan
And then leave to Santa Barbara, go up past San Luis Obispo.
That's real nice.
joey diaz
Joe, I don't know if you know this.
I fucking hate holidays.
joe rogan
Do you?
joey diaz
I hate holidays because it softens us.
Guys like you and me, we work through everything.
But there's motherfuckers that two weeks before Christmas, they shut down on my ass.
They start singing Jingle Bells and shit.
You know, a week before Mother's Day, a week before Memorial Day.
It fucking kills me.
Like, this Memorial Day killed me.
You gotta figure I was in New York for three weeks, you know, walking around.
All of a sudden, I come home in the first week.
I come back to Memorial Day weekend.
Nobody's having a party.
Nobody's doing shit.
Finally, Monday night, I told my wife, I go, fuck it, I got tickets for the Dodger game.
Let's go to the Dodger game.
joe rogan
What are you doing for the 4th?
joey diaz
I'm going to the beach.
unidentified
Nice.
joey diaz
I'm leaving fucking Wednesday morning.
joe rogan
When did we have a barbecue over my house for the 4th when you brought your daughter?
When was the last time?
That was like three years ago?
joey diaz
Three or four years ago.
Yeah, she was two or three.
joe rogan
She was so cute.
joey diaz
Now she's six.
joe rogan
She's so cute, man.
She pointed to me and went, yuck.
joey diaz
Yuck.
I asked her the other day.
I go, you don't say yuck no more, do you?
And she goes, nah, yuck, screw that.
joe rogan
I came close to her.
You were holding her.
I came close to her to say hi.
I'm like, how are you?
And she's like, yuck.
joey diaz
And now she sees you and she goes, I know him.
She still remembers you.
joe rogan
That's adorable.
joey diaz
The kids' memories are horrible.
And I remember being a kid and going to my mom's bar and there were certain people that would walk in and my mom would go, before you say anything, I want you to know that he remembers everything.
He doesn't react to you.
He'll tell me at 2 in the morning.
I would tell my mom shit like that dude came and he had a gun.
He had something on his nose.
And my mom would go, Jesus fucking Christ.
And that's what's crazy about kids.
joe rogan
Kids are little people.
joey diaz
They're in another room.
You're having a conversation with your wife.
Three days later, she'll tell me what that conversation was.
And I'll just look at her.
I don't smoke in the house no more.
She's busted me once, but she never said nothing to nobody.
So I could tell she's a dear.
She keeps her mouth shut.
I walked out.
She was right there.
And as I was talking to her, smoke was coming out of my mouth.
She didn't say one word to me.
And she hates smokers.
She fucking hates smokers.
Not because it's bad for their health, because they're ruining the environment.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
joey diaz
Nothing about health.
She's like, they're no good people.
Smokers are no good because they're ruining the environment, daddy.
So I'm like, okay, what are you going to do?
No, I'm thinking about the Hawaiian thing.
I want you to hook me up for Maine and Z. Let me know.
joe rogan
Okay.
joey diaz
I know it's a certain four seasons.
joe rogan
I'll tell you exactly where to go.
joey diaz
What plane, what time of the year.
Because I don't know what time of the year to go.
joe rogan
Anytime.
joey diaz
Oh, okay, that's all bullshit?
joe rogan
Fuck yeah, for Hawaii.
I'd go to Hawaii any day of the year.
joey diaz
So that you don't go from, like, December to February because it's volcano season and nothing like that?
joe rogan
We went in June.
Before that, we went...
Last time we had gone was in January or December.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
The people are so nice, man.
But I shouldn't say this.
They're probably getting mad.
You're going to make more people come over there.
It's an amazing place to live, man.
They live in paradise.
They're on an island that's created by a volcano in the middle of the ocean.
And it's fucking gorgeous.
It's so pretty.
joey diaz
What was the craziest thing you saw in the water?
joe rogan
We saw a lot of dolphins, man.
A lot of spinner dolphins, I guess they call them.
I guess that's what kind of dolphins they were.
I don't remember what kind of dolphins.
But back in December, we saw whales.
That was awesome.
That's amazing, man.
You see fucking whales breach the surface of the water.
You're like, whoa!
Wild, man.
Just get out there on boats and look for splashes in the distance.
And then we saw them.
Big schools of dolphins.
They swim under your boat.
It's wild shit, man.
You know, because they're just these crazy sea mammals that are super intelligent, live in the water right off the coast.
I mean, that said, it's such a paradise because what Hawaii has that no other place does is it's fully surrounded by the most beautiful, pristine water.
There's no shit beaches on Hawaii.
It's all gorgeous water.
Did you scuba-gee?
Yeah, no, he snorkeled.
joey diaz
Okay, so when you went snorkeling, any sharks?
joe rogan
No, that scares the fuck out of me, though.
joey diaz
That what?
joe rogan
That scares the fuck out of me.
Sharks scare the fuck out of me.
joey diaz
Okay.
joe rogan
Guy just got killed.
joey diaz
I love you to death.
joe rogan
Thank you, I love you too.
joey diaz
I am fucking to a point where I am petrified.
And I don't know about you.
joe rogan
You should be.
joey diaz
I grew up in a...
I still remember my mom taking me to Coney Island, dog.
Being a little kid, getting a hot dog.
Both times I went to Coney Island, I had drama.
The first time I went to Coney Island, I got caught in a Undertale?
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
Where you go out and you're in your waist.
Me and you were playing.
And then we look at our parents and they're two miles away.
joe rogan
It's very dangerous.
joey diaz
So the fucking lifeguards.
I had to be five, maybe five, maybe four.
That was my first experience in Coney Island.
Second experience in Coney Island.
I'm there with my cousins.
We're jumping up and down.
I'm never forgetting how to be hot.
Like those hot days.
We ran in.
Do you know?
We're swimming around.
And all of a sudden we look up.
And that was the biggest piece of shit.
It was 13, 14 inches, spinning around on the beach, just floating past us.
I remember walking out and telling my mom, I'm never going back.
That was the last time I went to Coney Island.
And then I went to Jersey, and I went to the beach.
I loved it.
Everything was hunky-dory.
And it started here about 2003. I went down to the beach, and when we got there, the lifeguard walks over.
You know, after you smoke a fucking joint, you got the SPF on you.
The guy comes over and he goes, the beach isn't closed, officially.
But there's been a couple shark sightings this morning out there.
So if you go into the water, I just want you to know, let me know and wave over at me.
This is when you come up here and you make the right turn down.
You know, I don't know.
Anyway, it's the other way of going down to the beach.
It's not the four or five way to sunset and you get off.
It's the other way.
What canyon do you go down?
joe rogan
Topanga?
joey diaz
Topanga Canyon.
You go down.
That time, we got right there.
As soon as we landed, it had to be 2003, 2002. The guys said, it's not closed, but they've been seeing a couple spots.
I always try to go in the ocean.
I'm Cuban.
My mother loved the beach.
We always went.
Every time I go to the beach, I go, what the fuck is wrong with me?
And I buckle up.
I take four steps.
I dip in.
And then I walk out a little bit, and once I start bouncing, I go under and I take a couple strokes.
Joe, I feel great.
And as soon as one of those fucking things touch my foot...
You never see a fat motherfucker run as quick as you see.
I just run out straight, and that's it.
I put my SPF on, and I don't go back in the water.
I go in just to refresh myself.
Did you see the fucking great white face off the coast of Jersey guy?
joe rogan
The one that bit those guys fish when he's bringing in?
joey diaz
Did you see that?
joe rogan
Unbelievable.
joey diaz
That's not normal, brother.
I grew up in Jersey.
There's always been sharks, but not great whites like that.
Great whites started, the first time I ever saw a shark was in Montauk.
Montauk is next to Amity where they really shot Jaws.
Jaws is supposed to be Amity or one of those.
If you look, I don't know what correctly it is.
When they shot Jaws, it's supposed to be the coast of fucking Long Island.
But if anybody knew, when I was a kid, I used to go to Montauk all the time.
That beach was no bueno, dawg.
You'd be on the beach and a fucking crab would walk up to you.
They walk backwards.
But this is unheard of, guys.
Come on.
That's Josh.
joe rogan
It's biting their buoy?
Is that what that is?
joey diaz
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or is that a sack of meat?
jamie vernon
Yeah, yeah.
I think there's meat.
joe rogan
They're chumming it?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, they're chumming?
Why is it biting that thing, then?
Is that definitely what's going on?
What is on that rope back there?
Oh, it sort of ripped it apart.
Oh, yeah.
Look, they're salmon fillets.
jamie vernon
2,000 pounds.
joe rogan
Or fish fillets.
They think the shark was 2,000 pounds?
Stop doing this, because it's hard for me to tell what's going on.
Okay, they dangled...
So what is it biting?
What is that yellow thing?
joey diaz
It's like a buoy or something, isn't it?
joe rogan
Yeah, it looks like it, but why would it bite a buoy?
joey diaz
It's a fucking animal!
joe rogan
But you see how they have that piece of fish?
They were dangling in the water.
It seemed to me like they were trying to bring that...
But with that fish, it was already filleted.
So it's like the body, the head, and the tail.
It seemed to me like they're putting that in the water to attract sharks.
I bet they know a spot where sharks...
See what I'm talking about?
See, that's the part of the fish that you can't...
You know, it's like he's got it opened up like a fillet.
And they're dragging it through the water, I think, to try to attract them.
jamie vernon
Maybe they saw it and they're like, let's see if we can get it closer.
joe rogan
Yeah, maybe, right?
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Fuck.
Never mind.
joe rogan
Get it away.
Yeah, see, they're throwing that in the water.
They're definitely trying to bring him closer to the boat.
joey diaz
I don't give a fuck if they put a leg in the water.
Look at the size of that fucking thing off the coast of New Jersey.
That's what makes you want to scratch your fucking head.
Then a week later, a seal attacked a girl in a California beach.
A seal!
joe rogan
I saw one where a seal grabbed a girl's leg and pulled her into the water off a dock.
joey diaz
That was a different one.
joe rogan
This is another one?
joey diaz
This is another one.
And they're blaming it on a chemical in the ocean?
Clonox or something like that that wants the seals get that in?
Look at this girl, how she got dragged in, Connors.
Look at this.
Look at this, my brother.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
Oh my god.
joey diaz
Get the fuck out of my leg.
Something's going on.
joe rogan
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
unidentified
Bro.
joey diaz
I think the climate change is everywhere.
It's all over.
Look at that.
joe rogan
Oh, that thing fucked her leg up.
unidentified
Come on, guy.
joe rogan
Wow, that's crazy that they got it on video, too.
It just jumps up and bites her fucking leg.
Maybe to pay back.
jamie vernon
Did you see that too this week?
The dogs?
joey diaz
Oh, look at this.
joe rogan
Yeah, the dog?
joey diaz
Yeah.
jamie vernon
I don't know what's going on here.
No, it's a big giant shark.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
And then the rest of the dogs come in to help its buddy.
And it sort of stays for a second.
I thought maybe it had one and they're trying to get it to release it.
joe rogan
Did it?
jamie vernon
I don't believe so.
joe rogan
No, look at it.
Jesus Christ!
jamie vernon
It's a really crazy fucking video.
But the dogs are huge also.
They're no bitch-ass dogs.
joe rogan
I guess.
unidentified
I mean, who would show up to the beach with five savages like that?
joe rogan
That's a fucking shark, bro.
joey diaz
No, dog, you gotta be very careful.
You gotta be very careful now.
Something's going on, and you have to...
joe rogan
Do you think the world's coming to an end?
joey diaz
Not at all.
What do you think, I'm Eddie Bravo?
What the fuck?
The world, we're slinging dick until something happens, but...
What could make all these shark attacks, especially on the East Coast, the last three weeks?
joe rogan
Well, here's one thing.
joey diaz
Especially on the East Coast.
joe rogan
One thing could be lack of food, right?
I mean, they overfish the fuck out of the ocean.
People know for a fact that that's a real problem.
That's a real problem.
Overfishing is a giant problem.
They're worried that the ocean fish in some parts of the world will literally be extinct.
There'll be nothing left in 50, 60, 100 years.
Who knows if they don't clean up their act.
But...
You see the way they do with commercial nets.
Just throw those fucking things in and just insane wide nets just scooping up everything.
And then they get all these fish and they dump them in the hull of the boat.
It's crazy how much fish they kill.
It's crazy.
What a desire for fish we all have.
But if sharks run out of shit to eat and then the seals run out of shit to eat, the sharks start running out of seals and they start going after people.
joey diaz
What do seals eat?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
I don't imagine they eat fish.
joey diaz
Years ago, seals up in San Francisco were getting killed by sharks.
At such a high level that a guy was on a surfboard.
And they couldn't imagine why the shark bit him.
And then they looked into it and they said from underneath the shark just sees...
joe rogan
They see a seal.
joey diaz
A seal.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a crazy video of a shark taking a seal out on this one right here.
Right in front of all these people on the marina.
jamie vernon
Is that Alcatraz?
joe rogan
Alcatraz.
Okay, watch this.
Back it up a little bit.
Watch the splatter.
The shark just jacks his fucking seal right in front of everybody.
They're all looking out.
Watch this.
Boom!
Look at all that blood.
unidentified
And everybody's like, what the fuck?
joe rogan
It's an oil slick of blood.
The shark comes out of the water with the seal.
I mean, look at that blood.
That is madness.
Bright red blotch and a fucking huge shark destroying a seal in front of everybody.
Just let you know that's their world.
There's monsters right there.
It's just they can't get out of the water.
I mean imagine if that was like right next to the woods and you know that if you didn't go into the woods you'd be okay.
But if you did go into the woods there's a giant gray thing that moves 30 miles an hour that just bites the legs and arms off of everything it runs into.
jamie vernon
Is that what the village was?
They scared them from going into the woods because something was going to kill them if they were out there?
joe rogan
Yeah, they put on a costume.
The village was about a bunch of people that didn't know that it was like 2,000 and whatever it was.
jamie vernon
I know that, but isn't that what the idea was?
They were going to die by something?
joe rogan
Yeah, they scared them with some costume or some shit, right?
jamie vernon
Giant shark.
joe rogan
But that's what it's like when you're sitting on the dock there looking out at that shark fucking up that seal in the water.
It's right there.
I mean, you could just jump in.
I mean, it is sort of like being at the edge of the woods watching some mythical monster tear apart a creature in front of you.
joey diaz
We spoke when you went, Hawaii.
That's the first thing I said to you, though.
Look out for the fucking sharks, dog.
I'm worried about that shit.
unidentified
We're fine.
joe rogan
Nothing happened.
We're fine.
joey diaz
And they got hammerheads down there?
joe rogan
Well, there's a lot of tiger sharks.
Tiger sharks bite people.
Bull sharks are apparently the most dangerous, and they're the weird ones because they go through fresh water.
They found bull sharks way up near Illinois, like near Chicago, on rivers.
Bull sharks get in fresh water and swim all the way up the river.
In fact, Jaws was actually inspired by bull sharks that bit people over a successive couple of days in New Jersey.
In a river in New Jersey.
The actual original story that inspired Jaws came from shark attacks and like...
I want to say, like, maybe the 50s or some shit like that, that were near a river in New Jersey.
Freshwater River.
joey diaz
Speaking of New Jersey, there's something I want to show you.
joe rogan
See if you can find that story, Jamie.
jamie vernon
I know there's been sharks seen in the Mississippi River.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
jamie vernon
It's just like the same kind of story.
joe rogan
Yeah, exactly.
They can go way up.
They can survive in fresh water.
The bull sharks, they're a weird animal.
I think that monster guy, that television show River Monsters, that dude, that cool guy, I think that guy caught one somewhere, if I remember correctly.
jamie vernon
That guy that used to hang out with Wild Boys, Steve-O and Chris Pontius, Manny, he got into that water in the bay at San Francisco with like 200 bull sharks.
The footage of it is fucking crazy.
Oh my god, those guys are so insane.
joe rogan
They're also insane.
joey diaz
Just with no cage or nothing?
joe rogan
Nothing.
How about when Steve-O was on that fucking tree and the lions jumped up in the tree to be with him?
Like, what in the fuck, son?
They took his hat from him.
Took his hat off his head.
I'm like, what?
What?
Like, he was inches from death.
joey diaz
One of your fans sent me an article for you about six months ago.
Really interesting.
I got it somewhere in my phone.
I think it's on Twitter.
So Rocky Balboa.
So Rocky Balboa.
Sylvester Stallone was a young guy and he went into a gym in Bayonne because he wanted Chuck Wepner's trainer to train him.
But Chuck Wepner's trainer told him to fuck off because Sylvester Stallone had done porn.
So Sylvester Stallone on the way out stole Chuck Wepner's notebook that he wrote in and that's where he took the idea for Rocky.
Is that true?
Did you ever hear this song?
joe rogan
Never heard that.
Maybe it's true.
Despite the fact that Stallone was sued by Wepner in 2003 for using his story for Rocky, he ultimately settled for an undisclosed amount of money in 2006, according to Forbes.
Seems to be in a good spirit about Wepner's tale being told on the big screen.
In an interview with Deadline, Chuck, producer Mike Tolan, said that Stallone was supportive of everyone involved, reading the script and even showing up on set.
He and Liv had...
Positive dialogue during shooting.
jamie vernon
They made a movie about Chuck.
joey diaz
They did a movie about Chuck.
joe rogan
Hmm.
That's weird that he used his story for Rocky.
So the idea was that he used his story when Chuck Wepner fought Muhammad Ali.
Is that what you heard?
No, but it kind of makes sense that that would be based on because Carl Weathers was kind of like a Muhammad Ali character and Rocky Balboa was kind of like Chuck Wepner.
But if I remember that fight correctly, I remember Muhammad Ali beating the shit out of Chuck Wepner.
I don't remember it being like a close fight.
Didn't they make that fight a draw?
Wasn't Rocky a draw?
joey diaz
Did Muhammad Ali knock him out?
joe rogan
No, he beat him up.
He beat him up.
He didn't knock him out.
But I think he went 12 rounds.
It might have been 15 rounds.
Back when they were doing 15 rounds.
Matter of fact, I think it did.
I think, if I remember correctly, it went to distance.
But again, my boxing knowledge is not like my MMA knowledge.
It's like B-level.
jamie vernon
It says 1975. It was billed as the Give the White Guy a Break Oh my god, that's hilarious.
joe rogan
They should have done that in Rocky.
jamie vernon
He was knocked out in the 15th round.
joe rogan
Okay, 15th round.
So, that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't like Rocky.
The story of Rocky is this guy who actually was a good fighter but just never focused himself decides to focus himself for this preposterous opportunity to fight for the title and actually hurts him.
Actually hurts him and it's a draw at the end of the fight.
It's a crazy fucking war and turns out to be a draw.
That was not Chuck Webner's story.
I mean, unless he's part of Chuck Wepner's life.
joey diaz
Well, he paid him.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
He obviously paid him.
joe rogan
He might have.
joey diaz
There may be some truth to that fucking story.
joe rogan
Maybe.
joey diaz
And Stallone has always been known to have sticky fingers.
He stuck his finger in the Expendables.
That was Eddie's student.
And Eddie's student had to take him back.
It was in those days...
joe rogan
That's what they did, right?
joey diaz
For people, what people don't know is...
There's a couple people who do that.
They meet with a guy, Jamie.
How you doing?
Jamie says, I got an idea.
But the guy moves back to Columbus.
All of a sudden, a year later, Jamie turns the TV on, and there's this story on TV. Jamie takes him to court and wins.
He even has the notes, the appointment that his agent made for him to meet Stallone.
All Stallone has to shell him now is for the amount of the script.
He doesn't have to give him proceeds of what he made.
So it's a tremendous scam if you do it and get away with it.
Listen, I'm not bad Mountain Stallone.
Let me tell you something.
Every time those Rockies come out, I watch those fucking things.
And I am more and more baffled that they kind of still hold up.
And what's really baffling about the Rockies is they keep on coming.
I mean, you know, they're writing another one.
joe rogan
Creed.
joey diaz
Yeah, Creed.
joe rogan
Now that they got Michael B. Jordan.
joey diaz
Yeah, you know.
joe rogan
Did you see the video of Michael B. Jordan going through that tactical course?
It's fucking badass, man.
I don't know what movie he's preparing for, but he's preparing for some fucking crazy shoot-em-up movie, I guess.
joey diaz
You know, I did this...
joe rogan
Taron Tactical?
joey diaz
I did this thing with our boy, and I didn't know.
Like, our boy was...
John Berthold was telling me that after movies he does...
You've got to go there six months before Joe Rogan.
joe rogan
He's going through one of these courses, like John Wick-style courses.
joey diaz
Yeah, you've got to go through six months of this.
joe rogan
It says it's for Black Panther.
So this is when he was in that movie, Black Panther.
So he's preparing for it.
jamie vernon
He used a bunch of guns in that movie, though, so I don't know.
joe rogan
Makes sense.
Yeah, he did shoot a lot of guns in that movie.
Yeah, he was a mercenary.
Don't you remember?
Michael B. Jordan was a killer.
jamie vernon
I remember the hand-to-hand fights, though, I guess.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, there was that, too.
But I'm sure there was some gunfights.
And just to be able to handle it and look like this.
I don't know enough about shooting to know if this looks good.
It looks good to me, though.
You know what I'm saying?
joey diaz
Well, if you watch, like, Tom Cruise in Collateral, when he goes into the Japanese bar in Koreatown or whatever it is, he's using tactical shooting, you know, like it's real tactical.
I always knew that Tom Cruise was an ultimate professional, you know, that's why he gets 20, 80 million a movie, the whole deal, but...
When I talked to our boy, he was telling me, nah, that all these movies now, you go over there five, six months before the movie starts.
And it's, you know, eight hours of training.
I mean, you got to give it up for your boy John Wick.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
joey diaz
He's 56. He's doing five hours a day in jiu-jitsu.
joe rogan
He's doing jiu-jitsu, and there's a bunch of scenes of him doing that same course.
joey diaz
Doing that same course.
joe rogan
He did it with a Henry rifle, one of those Henry old-school Western rifles.
What are those called?
You know those little load-em-up ones where you flip your wrist down to reload?
joey diaz
Remember when we were kids, we had those, and the more you pumped them, the stronger the thing was.
When you shot your grandmother, you pumped her like 80 times.
If you hated the motherfucker, you'd start pumping that bitch at like 6 in the morning, and you'd get it all full.
joe rogan
That was the ultimate...
unidentified
Dangerous weapon to give to a kid, a fucking BB. We had everything.
joey diaz
Remember the wrist rockets?
joe rogan
Yeah, I had a wrist rocket.
joey diaz
Is that what they call it?
joe rogan
Yeah, they had those tubes, surgical tubes.
joey diaz
Oh my God.
I had a friend that lived on the second floor and he would just peg off kids and As they were walking home from school, Richie Vanacek, he was in school too, so he would run home from school, go on his second, third floor attic, lay on the floor like a mercenary, and just shoot kids.
They couldn't invest.
unidentified
How funny was he?
joey diaz
He would put nails in tables like these at school, so when people put their books down, they get caught by the nail.
He was just a fucking nut.
Now he's somewhere installing elevators in Pennsylvania somewhere.
Who the fuck knows?
joe rogan
Wrist rockets are so dangerous.
We used to use marbles.
We used to take wrist rockets, buy a bag of marbles, and get a wrist rocket.
Yeah.
Because marbles, they fly consistently.
You can get used to where the trajectory is going to go.
If you have a rock, who the fuck knows how much that rock weighs?
You know, this rock's heavier than that rock.
It's hard to figure out where the fuck things are going.
But when you get good with a marble, you understand that, like, right here, I kind of can judge the arc of that marble.
You can start nailing things.
You can start nailing things.
joey diaz
Remember when you got your first marksman repeater?
You ever got a marksman repeater?
joe rogan
I never had one of those.
joey diaz
A marksman repeater is pellets, BBs, and darts.
I had one of those when I was about eight.
My mother caught me, gave me a beat, and I had the fucking 007 knife.
That's a knife from the 70s.
They either sold them in Newark or in Harlem.
joe rogan
I remember 007s had a wooden handle.
joey diaz
Wooden handle, nice and big.
I used to get the painted jeans.
Do you know when I was about in third grade, do you know I used to get shaken down on the way out and then the way in?
Do you know that?
joe rogan
Because they were worried about you.
joey diaz
Oh.
In the second grade, before my mother put me in Catholic school, it was called Shakedown.
Take socks off.
joe rogan
Wow, socks off.
joey diaz
Like how much money you went out with.
joe rogan
Is this Keanu?
joey diaz
No, that's a Marksman repeater.
joe rogan
Oh.
joey diaz
Look at it.
It was BBs, pellets, and that's where you put the darts up on top.
You had a lot of fun with those.
joe rogan
How many kids got shot by the cops holding that thing?
joey diaz
None.
joe rogan
What are you talking about?
joey diaz
None.
None.
joe rogan
None?
joey diaz
That's the 70s.
Nah.
They would talk to you first before they shot you in the head.
joe rogan
When did they start shooting kids?
joey diaz
And they shoot you in the fucking leg back then.
They were normal people because they were neighborhood kids.
In those days, the cops in your neighborhood, 60% were from that neighborhood.
So they understood the person.
They understood the kid.
They knew he had mental health.
Now they'll get somebody from Culver City and put them in San Diego.
They don't know the area.
When we were growing up, especially when you were staying with your grandpa in Newark, all those cops grew up in Newark.
Ah, the Rogans, they're fucking crazy.
Don't worry about them.
It's when you go over to the Rogans, you take your gun out, you don't point it at them.
joe rogan
Right.
joey diaz
Joe, put the gun down.
joe rogan
So I see what you're saying.
Like, the cops were members of the community.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
So they knew.
joey diaz
So they knew.
joe rogan
They weren't going into everything cold.
joey diaz
They weren't going into everything cold.
joe rogan
I think the people that have to worry the most are cops that pull people over, because you just fucking never know.
joey diaz
You see what happened yesterday?
The cop, the black dude in North Carolina, whoever he was, I don't know where he was, I'm sorry if it's North Carolina, he was smoking a blunt.
The cop pulled him over, he fucking dragged the cop, grabbed him by the elbow.
Jamie, I know you saw it on the news, dragged him twice!
Not once, but twice.
The cop was trying to pull the gun, then the cop shot him in the leg.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus.
joey diaz
And he still dumped the cop off and he got away.
joe rogan
Wow.
So he's out there with a hole in his leg?
joey diaz
Yeah, no, they finally caught him.
He went into an ambulance.
Look at this.
joe rogan
So he's just smoking the blunt.
joey diaz
Look at him!
joe rogan
Right in front of the cop.
joey diaz
The cop said he smelled marijuana.
joe rogan
Oh, he's driving off.
Is he holding on to him?
joey diaz
Yeah.
On the side?
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
So the guy tried to drive off and he hung on.
It looks like he hung on to the car.
Am I correct there?
jamie vernon
I don't know.
I don't know why I can't get the audio.
joe rogan
He's reaching for his gun now.
joey diaz
Now look at that.
joe rogan
Are those bullets?
joey diaz
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean...
jamie vernon
He's driving off with them in the car.
joey diaz
Look at him.
He just dumped them there, Joe Rogan.
joe rogan
Oh, shit.
joey diaz
40 yards.
He just dumped them there.
joe rogan
And that guy fell over on the dirt.
He probably fucked himself up there.
joey diaz
Yeah, he fucked himself up, that poor guy.
joe rogan
So was he holding on...
It's like when the car takes off.
What is he doing?
It looks like he's holding on.
joey diaz
Is that an Escalade, Joe Rogan?
joe rogan
I can't tell.
joey diaz
So it usually has that panel along the side where you put your leg up.
That's what I think is going on.
joe rogan
But he's holding on to the window, too.
It looks like he's got his arm in.
joey diaz
Well, by this time, he's holding on to his seatbelt.
jamie vernon
See?
He's got one foot up there, right there.
joe rogan
He's holding on to his seatbelt, you think?
joey diaz
Yeah, no, it is.
Look at him.
Look at his seatbelt.
joe rogan
Oh, that is what he has in his hand?
Oh, that is what he has.
Oh, yeah, that's what he has.
So he's holding the seatbelt.
Man, he's got his fucking gun out.
And he shoots the guy?
joey diaz
Not yet.
joe rogan
When he goes to grab for his gun, is that when he shoots him?
Because the dude does look like he at one point in time.
joey diaz
Man, leave me the fuck alone.
joe rogan
Look at his grill.
joey diaz
I'm just trying to smoke my motherfucking blunt.
joe rogan
What is going on with his teeth?
Is that like some kind of iced out grill?
joey diaz
I don't know.
Now that's when he starts to drop, boom, he shoots him.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
But at least he shot him in the leg and not in the head.
joey diaz
Right, right, right, right.
joe rogan
But the whole thing seems rather crazy.
He's hanging on with just a gun.
Body dash cam shows Florida man driving, of course it's from Florida, driving off with a deputy, dragging from his car after a traffic stop.
The man is now facing an attempted murder charge.
Okay, was he dragging the car or was the guy hanging on?
Like, was the guy hanging on while he was trying to drive off?
Was that the same?
jamie vernon
I guess, yeah, but I mean, I don't know if he...
If the cop's telling you to stop, you can't go.
So, like, he can't just drive away.
joe rogan
He can't just drive away.
jamie vernon
And be okay with that.
joe rogan
And once the car starts moving and he's hanging onto the door, you are dragging him.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
So he's hanging onto the seatbelt and they're dragging him.
joey diaz
What's the matter?
He got a hundred fucking stitches.
The guy's walking around with a bandit strand.
joe rogan
The dude who got pulled over, though, he's hilarious.
Play that again.
His reaction, he just keeps puffing on the blunt.
jamie vernon
I skipped a minute of it, too.
joe rogan
Put that back up.
Look at him.
joey diaz
He goes, I smell marijuana.
Man, what are you talking about?
What?
Look at him.
He's hilarious.
He's right out of a movie.
joe rogan
Like, his teeth are so sparkly.
Does he have a grill on?
Can you tell?
It looks like he's got some kind of iced-up grill.
Am I imagining that?
joey diaz
Tell Joe Rogan what his name is.
Rocco Ragucci.
He's got a wild name, too.
joe rogan
That is hilarious.
The whole thing is so funny.
I hope the cop's okay.
jamie vernon
Rocky Money.
joe rogan
That's his name.
His name is Rocky Money?
joey diaz
I told you.
joe rogan
Rocky Money Rudolph.
Damn, the cops done lit up.
Rocky Money Rudolph.
joey diaz
Junior, the boot.
joe rogan
Oh, that's hilarious.
The best name I've seen in 14 years on the job.
Yeah, that's about as good as a name ever gets.
Rocky Money Rudolph.
joey diaz
That poor cop went to work yesterday with a positive attitude, and he gets fucking dragged.
jamie vernon
They say he's smoking a black and mild, and the cop's like, I smell weed, and he's like, I don't have weed, I don't have marijuana.
joe rogan
So is it just a cigar?
jamie vernon
That's what he says.
He says it's just a black and mild.
There's a very distinct smell between a black and mild and marijuana.
joe rogan
Well, maybe if you're some goofy cop who doesn't know.
I think it's marijuana.
Pull him over.
What do you think it smells?
What does a black and mild smell like?
Is that what it's called?
Black and mild?
What does it smell like?
jamie vernon
It's a very distinct smell.
You can tell it between any cigar and a black and mild.
You can pick it out.
joe rogan
See, but I don't know that.
What if I had become a cop and I smelled that?
Would I have to know what a black and mild smells like?
He might have thought it was drugs.
jamie vernon
It doesn't smell like weed.
joe rogan
What does it smell like?
jamie vernon
Thick cigarette, tobacco-y smoke.
Yeah, it doesn't smell anything like weed.
joe rogan
You know what smells great?
Pipes.
Like a nice...
jamie vernon
It's closer to that kind of pipey smell, yeah.
joe rogan
Isn't it interesting that like the smell of tobacco from cigarettes is kind of gross.
Smell from a cigar, not that bad.
Smell from a pipe, a lot of people like that smell.
Like a lot of people like...
Like kids like the smell of pipes.
Smells like some tobacco burning in a pipe actually smells good.
Weird.
joey diaz
I like the smell of weed.
Fuck all that shit.
That pipe with nutmeg in it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
Those older guys used to...
joe rogan
Smoke nutmeg.
joey diaz
It's not around that much.
I don't know if it was nutmeg.
joe rogan
Nutmeg's a real psychoactive drug.
joey diaz
But what I'm saying is that when I was younger, when I was in my teens, it felt like people were smoking more pipes.
At all the schools, there was a teacher in my grandma's school who smoked a pipe.
I still remember a teacher from my high school vividly smoking a pipe.
I haven't seen anybody smoke with pipes.
joe rogan
Steven Crowder gave me one.
It's right here.
I smoked it when he was on the show.
joey diaz
Yeah, but he gave it to you for reefer?
joe rogan
No, no.
He brought tobacco and everything.
joey diaz
How was it?
joe rogan
It's not bad.
It's kind of a pain in the ass.
You've got to keep it lit.
You know, it's not something that just stays lit like a joint.
You know, you've got to kind of keep...
joey diaz
What did it make you feel like?
joe rogan
It's like tobacco.
You know, it gives you that little high.
It's a nice little buzz.
Like, cigars, I think, are the best version of that.
Because a cigar stays lit.
And you're getting it from the leaf, too, because your tobacco, your saliva, rather, is breaking down the tobacco.
Obviously, I'm not a scientist.
But your saliva is doing something to the tobacco of the leaf.
Look at these little kids smoking cigarettes.
jamie vernon
He's got a pipe.
This little kid's got a pipe.
joe rogan
Is that a pipe?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
I was just looking for kids.
joe rogan
Does the one on the left have a cigarette?
jamie vernon
Yeah, he's got a cigarette.
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
This one's probably fake, but...
joe rogan
Hello.
jamie vernon
He's got a pipe.
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
unidentified
Look at that kid smoking cigarettes in the lower right-hand corner.
joey diaz
Yeah, kids are smoking.
joe rogan
That's like an 11-year-old.
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Newsies.
joe rogan
Wow, look at that.
All the kids selling newspapers.
They were all fucking addicted to cigarettes.
Wow.
Hey, do me a favor.
Send me that picture.
I want to try to get that picture printed up for the studio.
That's like Little Rascals and shit.
joey diaz
Yeah.
joe rogan
Wow.
Yeah, save that picture.
jamie vernon
There's a better version.
joe rogan
See if we can buy a copy of that.
joey diaz
There was a kid in my neighbor growing up in North Bergen.
His name was Olson.
The family Olson.
There'd be like 10 of them.
joe rogan
Like Jimmy Olson?
joey diaz
Yeah, they lived next to a body shop.
By 13, he had already been smoking, like, fucking eight years.
And I swear to God, he had cavities, so he would just put the cigarette in the tooth gaps and just leave it there and talk to you with the cigarette in the cavity.
His teeth are green.
He's on Facebook now.
I say I talk to him from time to time, and shit, I wave at him.
But that's how bad, in the 70s and 60s, and I think the 50s, kids were fucking smoking.
joe rogan
Look at that ad.
Give your throat a vacation.
Smoke a fresh cigarette.
Camels.
unidentified
Holy shit.
joe rogan
That's a doctor.
A doctor's telling you to give your throat a vacation.
Chesterfield cigarettes are just as pure as the water you drink.
Wow.
People were evil back then.
They just lied.
joey diaz
Look at that one.
More doctors smoke camels, what did it say, than any other cigarette.
joe rogan
Look at them.
Well, of course I smoke camels.
I like to relax as much as anyone.
jamie vernon
Your T-zone will tell you T for taste, T for throat.
joey diaz
How fucking crazy is that?
joe rogan
You're going to rot out from the inside.
joey diaz
How old were you the first time you smoked a cigarette?
joe rogan
Probably 14 or 15. What happened to you?
I thought it was disgusting.
joey diaz
I thought I was about like nine.
I thought it was fucking horrible.
I got dizzy, and then I didn't turn the cigarette out.
I almost lit the bathroom on fire.
My mother found out.
No good.
joe rogan
The next time I smoked one again was many years later.
Adam Ferrara used to smoke, and he gave me some of his cigarettes.
We were doing some sketch.
I don't remember exactly what it was about, but I was supposed to be smoking a cigarette in the sketch.
I was supposed to be like some annoying poet smoking a cigarette.
So I kept smoking a cigarette while we were practicing this thing.
And I blasted it out of my mind.
Three, four cigarettes in, we just smoke them back to back to back and you don't smoke.
Oh my god, the nicotine.
I was like, this is crazy.
This is what you're doing all the time?
I was like, you're getting high all the time like this?
A fact.
Science advances new data that may completely change your idea of cigarettes.
The experiences of camel smokers confirmed.
Camels can literally relieve fatigue and irritability.
jamie vernon
And that does it naturally, too, it says.
It's all good.
joe rogan
And it does it naturally.
Yeah, man.
People just got sick.
jamie vernon
So crazy.
joe rogan
Millions and millions of people got sick from smoking.
Just...
Taking in a big drag of chemicals mixed with tobacco.
They probably didn't mix the chemicals with them back then.
Back then, it was probably just actual tobacco.
jamie vernon
All of these ads are really good.
Smoke after strenuous exercise.
joe rogan
Smoke after strenuous exercise.
That's hilarious.
Asthmatic cigarettes.
Imagine you got asthma.
Someone gives you a pack of Cools.
Here, this will help you.
Hey, what you need is camel.
No filters.
How about a Lucky Strike?
Hilarious.
joey diaz
How crazy is this?
How crazy it would be if you took one of these ads, like if you knew your grandfather died of cancer, and you took one of these ads and fucking took it to the cigarette companies, got some badass attorneys, and said, you know what, man?
Look at what you guys were putting out in the 50s and 60s.
Doctor's favorite cigarette is Camel Cigarette?
Are you fucking crazy?
Think about the ad.
Think about how outrageous what we know today that ad is.
joe rogan
Outrageous.
joey diaz
It's fucking outrageous.
jamie vernon
Outrageous.
joe rogan
It's so evil.
joey diaz
Like doctor's favorite cigarette.
joe rogan
Because they're telling you doctors.
They're not saying like my accountant's favorite cigarette.
They're not saying my police officer's favorite cigarette.
They're saying doctors to let you know it's going to be okay because they know it's not going to be okay and you know it's not going to be okay.
joey diaz
No, you don't know.
You don't know.
You really don't know.
You really don't know.
You went to the movies.
You're 10 years old.
Your father gave you a nickel.
You went to the movies and Marlon Brando was smoking a cigarette in the wild one.
And all of a sudden you go home and you tell your friend, wow, that looks so cool.
And your friend goes, smoking is bad for you.
And you're like, no, I just saw an article.
Four out of five doctors surveyed smoked camel fucking cigarettes and they lived to the 80s.
joe rogan
Actually, it's not bad for you.
It can literally remove irritability.
Nose, throat, and accessory organs not adversely affected by smoking Chesterfields.
jamie vernon
They did a six-month study and they said nothing was different.
joe rogan
First such report ever published about any cigarette.
Oh, so it's Chesterfields.
You just get them and you're okay.
Imagine if there was one cigarette that just had it nailed.
joey diaz
I used to date a girl that worked at a crazy house.
Like where people go when they're crazy.
I was a broke comic.
She used to bring me home cigarettes.
I would smoke those cigarettes and go off the reservation.
joe rogan
Uh-oh.
joey diaz
Like they were like low-end cigarettes.
You gotta see the shit they put in there.
I could tell a visible difference from when I smoked a Camel or a Marlboro Light.
joe rogan
Did you ever smoke Sherm?
joey diaz
What's Charm?
joe rogan
Sherm.
You know what Sherm is?
joey diaz
No.
joe rogan
Sherm was something they were doing where certain cigarettes they would dip in formaldehyde.
joey diaz
I smoked weed with formaldehyde.
joe rogan
What's that like?
joey diaz
Tremendous.
It's just fucking tremendous.
But I was into that shit at that time.
joe rogan
That serum supposedly turns people into a zombie.
joey diaz
You take a joint, you dip half of it in formaldehyde or coat it, my friend would coat it, let it dry, let it get hard.
joe rogan
So crazy.
joey diaz
And you'd smoke that shit, and it'd be 10 hours.
joe rogan
What's up, Jamie?
jamie vernon
This says that when people were doing it, they would say it was embalming fluid because it would make you turn into a zombie, but it was really just PCP. Oh!
joe rogan
Really?
jamie vernon
They would call it embalming fluid.
That's what the Urban Dictionary and some things that I'm looking up now call what it actually was.
joe rogan
But did you look up SHRM? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's what it says?
So it's a hoax?
jamie vernon
I don't know that it's a...
I'm sure some idiots probably did find some formaldehyde or embalming fluid and dip it in.
joe rogan
Well, after all the bad press that PCP got, I could imagine that people would eventually be like, alright, listen...
We've got to stop smoking PCP. So they had to sneak it in things.
Because nobody had a good PCP experience.
jamie vernon
Another thing says the opposite of what I just said.
joey diaz
I had 50 good ones.
joe rogan
Good PCP experiences?
joey diaz
But guys, to be honest with you, I didn't know I was doing PCP. They called it THC Crystal.
joe rogan
THC crystal?
joey diaz
Crystal.
That's what it was called.
THC crystal.
How do you know it was PCP? Because years later, I found out THC crystal didn't fucking exist.
joe rogan
Well, THC crystals is like the crystals off of wheat.
joey diaz
So what they tell you at that time, you'd ask the dealer, like, where'd you get this from?
Word on the street was you took stems, you threw them in a pot with boiling water.
And when it comes to a head, the stuff that stays to the edge, you scrape that off, and you put it into a powder form, and that's what you're snorting.
That was the word on the street.
But what it really was, was PC fucking P. It was animal tranquilizer.
joe rogan
Oh, so they were just saying that so they could sell it.
joey diaz
So they could sell it.
And then when you go into New York City in the 80s, when you went to the weed spots, yeah, they sold two types of weed.
But they also sold the thing called trays.
joe rogan
Trays?
joey diaz
Trays.
That's a $3 bag.
unidentified
Oh.
joey diaz
So when you paid, they would sell you a $10 bag, a sense of media, you got five joints or something.
Then they would have like a special $20 for Buddha Thai.
And you would get three joints, two and a half joints, tight joints.
And then for the tray, you'd get a tight joint of this white powder that looked like a line of coke when you put it on the table.
So what you did was you rolled your joint and you took that white line, you sprinkled in the joint, you smoked it, bye-bye Irene.
Bye-bye, Irene.
And they always gave it a weird name, like Jim Jones.
unidentified
Oh, Jesus.
joey diaz
At the time after he drunk, you know what I'm saying?
joe rogan
After he killed those people?
unidentified
Yeah.
joey diaz
So they would give it weird names.
Jim Jones.
unidentified
How crazy was that?
joey diaz
Suicide.
They would give it all these weird names.
joe rogan
Jim Jones named the town Jonestown.
That's when the cops move in.
When you name a town after yourself, like, what are you doing?
I'm just running Vernonville.
joey diaz
And not just a town, but in Guyana.
joe rogan
Yeah.
joey diaz
And made people sell everything and move.
That's just a horrific fucking...
joe rogan
You know who's been to Guyana a bunch of times?
Steve Rinella.
You know who he is?
He's been on my podcast from the show Meat Eater.
Yeah, he's recorded a bunch of episodes in Guyana living with the people that live in the jungle.
Fascinating shit.
Fascinating.
Watching how those people live and he's interacting with them and hanging out with them and bow fishing with them and shit.
Just wild, man.
They found pictographs on a rock that's on a river.
They have no idea who made them.
No idea how old they are.
Just sitting there.
Just probably a thousand years old.
They don't know what they mean.
Just some people from an ancient time ago in Guyana wrote this shit on a rock and you can still see it today.
joey diaz
I want to see what that fucking place looks like that Jim Jones had now.
They just did a special about it.
No, it's just a jungle there.
It just grew up.
They went back and they re-dug up the old stage.
joe rogan
He had a landing strip too, right?
joey diaz
Yeah, that's where he shot the...
I still remember being a little kid and them showing the guy getting shot.
joe rogan
The federal agent?
joey diaz
The camera falling.
No, the governor or the senator.
They always showed the shot of the camera going down.
The reporters were about to get on the plane and then a truck pulled up and guys just opened fire on them.
And the guy fell with the camera rolling.
joe rogan
Wow.
joey diaz
The lady's still alive.
The senator, the woman, the assistant.
unidentified
She got shot?
joey diaz
She got shot.
Woman got shot.
The congressman, whoever, the congressman, the senator, whoever got, he died, but her assistant lived and somebody else lived.
And they just got interviewed.
It was either the anniversary or some shit.
I hate all that shit.
I can't see the people he took down there.
He just, I don't know.
joe rogan
Cults are dangerous.
It's very dangerous when one person wants to be the only one to talk and tell you what to do and make the rules and be special.
When you've got that one person that gathers a group of people and has all those people listen to him without question and tries to say that he has the answers, for whatever reason that's appealing to people.
It's very weird, but people fall into that trap over and over and over again when you have a strong, confident man who is telling you what you know.
And then you see them giving into the power, and for whatever reason it makes it even more attractive to a certain segment of the population.
When you see someone reveling in the power of being a cult leader.
Like, I guarantee you, when that guy in Waco, what the fuck was his name?
joey diaz
Koresh.
joe rogan
Correct, David Koresh.
I guarantee you, when he was on the news and talking about how they'll never give up, girls were probably beating down his door trying to get in that cult.
The crazier and the nuttier and the more...
The more apocalyptic your message, the more people that want to join.
It's weird.
And they just don't have the ability to discern, oh, this is not a good idea.
This guy really doesn't have his head on straight.
This guy might be fucking completely crazy.
joey diaz
And they've always realized those things are fuck-fest anyway.
None of the ten, that guy's slinging dick.
joe rogan
Koresh did that?
joey diaz
Yeah, Koresh.
joe rogan
Koresh banged everybody's wife.
joey diaz
Yeah, he had kids.
I had a friend who grew up in a cult, and the stories were fucking horrific.
joe rogan
I know the friend.
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, horrific.
joey diaz
So you look at this shit, and you're like, I don't...
joe rogan
Fucking dangerous.
Anytime someone is running any kind of thing where they've got to separate you from everybody else, come to us.
We're going to get you away from all those people.
That's It never goes well.
It fucking never goes well.
It never goes well.
They want control.
They want control and control of you.
And the best way to do that is to get you away from all these other pesky people with all their questions.
They don't know.
But we know.
We know what's really going on.
We know what this is really all about.
Next thing you know, you're in a cult.
How many cults are going on right now that we don't know about?
It's like a gang of them that are just like bubbling under the surface.
jamie vernon
There was that one they found out about last year, right?
joey diaz
That was in New York.
jamie vernon
Yeah, something like that.
joey diaz
That's surreal.
They're throwing motherfuckers in jail over that one.
joe rogan
Yeah, the Nexum one is a weird one, right?
joey diaz
Legit actors and actresses.
joe rogan
That was a sex cult, right?
They're all sex cults.
They should stop saying sex cults, right?
Is there a no sex cult?
No sex cults, it's like Buddhists.
They go, okay, do whatever you got.
joey diaz
Just think about that, a guy who tells you...
And you let them fuck your wife.
joe rogan
Crazy.
joey diaz
Take her away in the middle of the night.
And she comes back the next day smelling like cock and God knows what else.
And you have to still respect the guy and call him God and whatever the fuck they do.
It's such a sick, sick fucking mind.
joe rogan
It's sick.
joey diaz
And you have to be in such a weak state as a human being to really buy into that.
You can't call them, you know, they're just in a fucked up weird state.
Maybe they had a void in their life somewhere, and this is the way by filling it in.
I just...
I don't see it.
I can never join a cult.
unidentified
Fuck you.
joe rogan
Well, there's a bunch of different things could be wrong with a leader.
joey diaz
And you gotta give them your money.
joe rogan
Mm-hmm.
joey diaz
You gotta do all...
You gotta sell your house.
All those people that went to Jonestown had to sell their homes.
Whatever they had, and give their money to him.
joe rogan
Did you see Wild Wild Country?
joey diaz
Wild Wild Country, no.
joe rogan
Oh!
joey diaz
What is it?
joe rogan
It's a Netflix documentary about the Pacific Northwest cult.
joey diaz
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
The Ragnish guy, the guy that eventually went on to, he found this crazy cult and they went on to buy this town up there.
joey diaz
I heard about it.
joe rogan
It's fucking amazing.
joey diaz
Listen, we live around so much stupidity.
Why sit there and watch it on TV? It's really good, though.
joe rogan
The documentary's incredible.
It's so well done.
And this Sheila lady who's running things, she's poisoning people and shit.
It's crazy.
They poison people.
She did all kinds of crazy stuff.
It's wild.
They shipped homeless people in to vote so they could take over the town.
They just brought homeless people in from everywhere.
Just picked them up.
And the homeless people were like, yay, we found a home.
And some of them were like really into it.
And then they're like, all right, we're done with you.
Get the fuck out of here.
unidentified
They kicked them out after they took over the home.
joe rogan
Everyone in the town that lived there before them fucking hated them.
They had their own police force, armed guards.
I mean, guys armed to the dick, okay?
Just carrying machine guns and shit.
joey diaz
Doug, how the fuck is it 2 o'clock?
joe rogan
Because that's what always happens with us.
joey diaz
How the fuck?
I thought it was like 1 o'clock.
Maybe 12.30.
joe rogan
Joey, we have fun.
joey diaz
This is crazy.
joe rogan
I've known you for 23 years, man.
Maybe more.
22. When did you get here?
What year?
joey diaz
97. Was it 97?
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
22 years.
It's a long time.
joey diaz
It's crazy to go to the store and see what we're walking around around and how long we've been.
I got a fucking anxiety attack.
joe rogan
Really?
joey diaz
Yeah, I got anxiety.
I can't believe I'm still there.
joe rogan
Still so fun.
joey diaz
I got a home.
Sometimes I just sit back by the ice cube machine and look and go, how lucky am I that I got a fucking home.
But I got a boogie.
joe rogan
I know you do.
Let's wrap this bitch up.
joey diaz
I got a boogie and fucking pee.
I'm an old man.
joe rogan
Both.
I love you, brother.
joey diaz
It's great to see you.
Love you, too.
Happy Fourth of July, everybody.
Charlotte, next week, you dirty bitches.
I'm excited.
joe rogan
Thank you to everybody that came to Atlantic City and Baltimore, too.
joey diaz
We had a great time.
We didn't talk about Baltimore, the food in Baltimore, and Borgata, or John Rallo.
joe rogan
Yeah, shout out to John Rallo.
All right, folks.
joey diaz
I love you guys.
joe rogan
Love you.
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