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June 25, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:52:18
Joe Rogan Experience #1317 - Andrew Santino
Participants
Main voices
a
andrew santino
47:04
j
jamie vernon
08:10
j
joe rogan
01:50:06
Appearances
Clips
b
benjamin jaffe
00:11
c
craig jones
00:01
j
justin trudeau
00:15
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Speaker Time Text
unidentified
Hey Santino!
joe rogan
Good to see you, brother.
andrew santino
Good to see you, brother.
How are you?
joe rogan
Good, man.
That charcoal.
It's you.
andrew santino
That's me.
joe rogan
I sent Santino a picture.
I'll send it to you, Jamie.
unidentified
I saw it.
joe rogan
You seen it?
andrew santino
It's so fucking funny.
I want residuals on that shit.
What is it called?
Lucky Dev?
Or...
joe rogan
Bro, it's you.
andrew santino
It's me.
What's it called?
joe rogan
It's you with a steak.
andrew santino
Devil something?
joe rogan
Something.
andrew santino
I put it up online.
I was like, this is so fucking funny.
This is me with my own charcoal company called...
If you're in the market for some charcoal, man...
Oh, Jealous Devil.
That's what it is.
That's so me.
joe rogan
With that beard.
andrew santino
Fucking steak down there with a knife.
Jealous Devil.
joe rogan
Barbecue is the only truly manly way of cooking.
Like, nobody brags about having a baker's hat on.
andrew santino
Yeah, there it is.
joe rogan
There it is.
andrew santino
Ha ha ha!
joe rogan
All natural hardwood.
jamie vernon
Hardwood charcoal, bitch.
joe rogan
Lump.
andrew santino
Do you smoke?
joe rogan
I use a Traeger.
You know what that is?
andrew santino
It's like a pellet grill.
joe rogan
Pellet grills are shit, man.
They're so easy.
andrew santino
And then do you finish in a skillet or no?
That's the way to go, right, baby?
joe rogan
With beef tallow.
unidentified
Ooh.
jamie vernon
What is that?
andrew santino
What is that?
joe rogan
And you know what else I use?
unidentified
Huh?
joe rogan
Minced garlic and rosemary.
I put rosemary in the cast iron skillet with the beef tallow.
andrew santino
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
It gives like an extra, an extra.
I learned that in an Italian restaurant.
andrew santino
I was going to say.
joe rogan
I was like, what are you guys doing?
He's like, we use a rosemary.
andrew santino
Rosemary.
joe rogan
Rosemary on the ribeye.
andrew santino
From the back we use the rosemary.
joe rogan
It's a wonderful ribeye.
If I go to an Italian restaurant and the dude talks like that, I am excited.
andrew santino
Yeah, I'm stoked.
joe rogan
I'm more pumped.
If it's just a regular person, even if they're nice, I'm disappointed.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Even if it's like the nicest waiter ever, I'm like, dude, you seem like a great guy, but damn, I wish you were from Italy.
andrew santino
Yeah, he's like, I'm just whipping you guys up, some Fredicini Alfredo.
You're like, ugh, nobody from Italy back there, man?
joe rogan
You Malibu fuck.
That's a weird one, right?
It's like Italian restaurants particularly.
Like, I go to a Greek restaurant, I would hope the guy would not have an accent.
I don't need him to have an accent.
andrew santino
I wouldn't care if he's from Greece.
joe rogan
He could or he couldn't, as long as I can understand him, that's great.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
But I don't require it.
andrew santino
Nah.
joe rogan
But I require it at an Italian restaurant.
andrew santino
Yeah, because there's something about it that's different.
And then everywhere else, Mexican.
You know what I mean?
Everything else is Mexican.
Chinese, made by Mexicans.
joe rogan
If it's Chinese, people making Mexican food, or Mexican people making Chinese food, it's always one of those weird things.
You're like, huh.
Okay.
andrew santino
Is this going to measure up?
joe rogan
You get those, though, like at those, you know, those chain places.
andrew santino
Yeah, those chain...
What's it called?
P.F. Chang's?
joe rogan
No, P.F. Chang's is not as much...
That's like a restaurant.
Like, you order it.
P.F. Chang's is pretty fucking good.
andrew santino
But that's all Mexicans cooking that shit.
unidentified
Probably.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's no Chinese guy who greets you at the door?
jamie vernon
You're talking Italian food.
Have you ever been to a Bucca di Beppo?
joe rogan
Oh, bro.
andrew santino
In college, that was my job, is valeting a Bucca di Beppo.
joe rogan
If you want straight-up, filling, old-school Italian food, Bucca di Beppo, bro, they will hook you up.
They try to fucking kill you.
andrew santino
Wait a minute.
Bucca di Beppo is the Chinese food of Italian places.
Do you know what I mean?
Like how Chinese places give you way too much food?
Bucca di Beppo is like 50 pounds of fucking pasta when you go to Bucca di Beppo.
joe rogan
They bring that aluminum tin out with the rigatoni and you're like, who the fuck are you?
andrew santino
For a full fucking kingdom, who can eat the food?
You and your servants.
joe rogan
Listen, this is silly.
andrew santino
Yeah, it's absurd.
joe rogan
You're turning me into an asshole.
And that's also rigatoni, like that kind of food, you keep going.
You keep going even when it hurts.
andrew santino
You don't stop.
joe rogan
Like that carb, when you're eating like a good linguine with clams, you're like, oh, mmm.
While you're eating, it's so gluttonous.
It's like, bleh!
The chewy goo that has no nutritional value is going in your stomach like, oh, it's so good.
You can't wait for more.
It's mixed in with some sauce to give the illusion of healthiness.
andrew santino
Ooh, there's a little bit of green on it.
joe rogan
And you're just like, ugh, when your body's trying to process it afterwards.
Ugh.
andrew santino
You feel fucked up.
Sometimes when you eat too much pasta, you feel like drunk.
I feel like stoned or drunk.
Yeah, you're broken.
My body's just like...
joe rogan
All your resources.
andrew santino
Slamming all that shit down.
It's so fucking gross and good.
joe rogan
Everybody remembers from the time we were kids.
Apparently, someone told me that you don't get a significant enough amount of tryptophan from Turkey for it to put you to sleep like that.
andrew santino
Yeah, I've heard it's bullshit.
joe rogan
I want I don't know if that's true, though.
Can we Google if that's true?
andrew santino
So I've been told that there's always tryptophan that's been in turkey, but the running joke is that after Thanksgiving dinner, you pass out, but that's actually because of all the other shit.
You're eating fucking mashed potatoes, tons of carbs, fucking Hawaiian bread rolls, carbs.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Contrary to popular belief, eating turkey isn't the main reason you feel sleepy after a Thanksgiving feast.
The oft-repeded turkey myth stems from the fact that turkey contains an amino acid tryptophan.
Which forms the basis of brain chemicals to make people tired, but it's not true.
andrew santino
I mean, it does, but it's not the thing that knocks you out.
Being a fat fuck and sitting on your couch and drinking 40 beers is what makes you sleepy.
joe rogan
Yeah, so it says tryptophan is a component of the brain chemical serotonin, which gets converted into the well-known sleep-inducing hormone melatonin.
And poultry and many other foods also contain tryptophan.
andrew santino
Chicken's got it.
joe rogan
Similar amounts.
andrew santino
Yep.
joe rogan
Gram for gram, cheddar cheese actually contains more tryptophan than turkey does.
andrew santino
Suck on that, cheeseheads.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Cheese folks.
joe rogan
It's just being a glutton, man.
andrew santino
Yeah, you just become a fat piece of shit and you just feel like you're supposed to keep eating and eating and eating.
joe rogan
There's an interview with Cat Williams who's sitting in the back of a limo.
I talked about this with Miss Pat where he talked about not eating before shows.
And I was like, he's right.
Like, why would I eat before shows?
And it made me realize, oh, eating before shows is a terrible idea.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because then your body's got to process all that and you come out like half-assed.
andrew santino
We don't know.
We never eat before shows.
When we do shows, we never eat before shows.
After shows is actually when it tastes the fucking best.
joe rogan
I'll have some fruit.
I'll have a little bit of fruit before a show.
andrew santino
I'll have a little something.
Like a little baby thing.
joe rogan
I don't mind some fruit.
Because you have some fruit, it's like you're getting some carbohydrates, you're getting some sugar, you're getting some fiber.
It's super easy to digest, like melon.
You know, melon, your body's just...
You could lift.
You could eat melon and then do a sick kettlebell workout.
Like, it's not going to fuck you.
No.
Melon's easy.
andrew santino
It's a little baby sugar rush, too, that probably helps your energy a little bit.
joe rogan
Your body just, you mash it into mush so quick, and it just goes sliding down there.
Your body's like, oh, we got this.
andrew santino
We should do the tired tour where we just eat a huge meal before we get on stage and see what comes out of that fucking shit.
joe rogan
Compare melon to like a stromboli.
Like one of those ridiculous fucking sausage and cheese with the layers of the bread on the outside.
andrew santino
And the cheese is burnt on the top.
You know, they burn it on the top.
joe rogan
And you take a couple of bites of that and you're just like...
And you just keep going.
But if you looked at, like, the size of what you would eat on one of those motherf- Oh, lasagna.
Look at that shit.
A buka de bepa lasagna.
andrew santino
You want the layers and layers?
We fucking got it.
joe rogan
That will take you down, son.
You ain't doing no fucking crosswords after that.
andrew santino
Cheese, pasta, cheese, pasta, pasta, cheese.
Sit the fuck down.
There's more cheese coming.
joe rogan
You ain't playing no puzzles, bitch.
andrew santino
I would wonder if the brain activity slows down so much more.
I wonder what the active level of brain activity is when your stomach is filled.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, you're useless.
unidentified
I feel like a fucking moron.
joe rogan
I bet you lose like 80 points of IQ. You have just enough to get around.
Someone should come to you and try to get you to do things.
You'll fucking sign off on stuff.
You'll change your marriage license.
You're like, just get, fucking leave me alone.
What do I gotta write?
Right there?
andrew santino
Fellas, you want your wife to sign a prenup, go ahead and fatter out on puka de beppo lasagna, and then she'll sign whatever the fuck you want.
joe rogan
She'll give up.
andrew santino
I don't think I could, like, when I drive home after having a full meal, I feel more fucked up and, like, out of it than if I have a couple of drinks.
joe rogan
Well, you're definitely slower.
andrew santino
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Your reaction time would be slower if you were full and you were driving.
Just like it's, just like you're tired when you're full and you don't talk as well.
You don't articulate things as quickly.
Yeah, it's got to be related.
jamie vernon
I worked there for four years.
That's why I know so much about it.
But part of the thing you're supposed to sell at the end of the meal is like limoncello or espresso because it's supposed to be like a digestive.
I don't know if it's bullshit.
andrew santino
A diuretic.
jamie vernon
But maybe it is something to that where it helps you digest a little better.
andrew santino
In Italy, they all do it as an end of the meal to clear you out a little bit.
The acid's going to help you break down some shit.
joe rogan
That's where the espresso kicks in.
andrew santino
And the chairs in Italy turn into toilets.
You know that, right?
joe rogan
In Brazil, when you go to those churrascarias, they have this delicious dessert that has papaya in it.
And it's like a papaya smoothie.
It's like a blended papaya drink.
Like a dessert, rather.
And they have that specifically because the enzymes in papaya help break down the meat.
andrew santino
Oh, it does.
It's wild.
joe rogan
And it's fucking delicious, dude.
andrew santino
It's so good.
What's that chain, that Brazilian chain?
joe rogan
Fogo de Chão.
andrew santino
Fogo de Chão, yeah.
joe rogan
That's it right there, dude.
Sun that will fucking rock you at the end of a good meal.
andrew santino
Is there booze in there?
joe rogan
You can get booze.
You should be.
They have a guy who comes by.
I usually say no because I'm not a drunk.
But you?
I would say pour it.
andrew santino
That's the first question I ask.
Is there booze in there?
joe rogan
It's good with booze.
It's good without booze, too.
It's just good.
I love those places.
I went there with that UFO guy, Bob Lazar.
andrew santino
Oh, you did?
Lazar went there with you?
joe rogan
Yeah.
And Schultz.
Andrew Schultz wanted me to.
And Jeremy Corbell, the guy who made the documentary.
We all sat around talking to him.
andrew santino
That Lazar dude freaked me the fuck out, man.
joe rogan
Ooh, he's a freak out.
andrew santino
Made me want to move.
joe rogan
I, you know, I had no indication that he's full of shit.
I mean, I was...
andrew santino
Zero bullshit meter?
joe rogan
Here's the thing, man.
When you've told a story for as many years as many times as he did, it's super hard to be consistent if you're just making everything up.
craig jones
It's super hard to...
joe rogan
To have things that you're saying back then that everybody says don't even exist eventually turn out to be true.
It's very difficult to deny that.
These are parts of his initial story.
His initial story had something to do with this thing called Element 115, which most people didn't even recognize that it actually existed.
Until much later, right?
That's a big feature of it.
andrew santino
When did he start talking about it?
joe rogan
He started talking about the 80s.
andrew santino
Yeah, that was 70s, 80s, right?
unidentified
I think.
andrew santino
A long time ago.
joe rogan
But it's about...
Look, I don't know enough about elements and the table to understand it.
andrew santino
You're talking to a state school kid.
joe rogan
We're both stupid.
You're probably more educated than me, though.
But at the end of the day...
This guy is obviously smart as fuck, and he's a scientist that definitely worked at Los Alamos lab.
There's a record of him there.
And they tried to deny that, and they tried to erase it.
That alone tells me, just the fact that they tried to say that he didn't exist, he never worked at Los Alamos lab.
That's freaking me out, man.
andrew santino
That's huge freaky.
joe rogan
In the 1980s, you don't think they could just erase your past?
andrew santino
Right, right.
joe rogan
You don't think that they could just erase your birth certificate or erase your medical records or erase your dental records?
They could do whatever they wanted back then.
andrew santino
Tell me you saw that documentary about the three identical strangers.
Did you watch that?
joe rogan
I heard about it.
I didn't see it.
andrew santino
Bro.
joe rogan
I heard.
andrew santino
Oh my god.
I mean, essentially, in so many words, without divulging too much, three brothers are born, triplets are born, and they are separated at birth, unbeknownst to them.
They grow up completely independently, run into each other later in life.
This was in the 70s, I think it was, 70s?
And they meet publicly on...
Not Donahue, but one of those fucking big shows.
You know, like they bring them all together.
And they end up finding out later in the documentary, spoiler alert, that there's a company who is doing this.
That's doing trial tests on babies that are separated and putting them with different families to find out if they end up growing up with similar characteristics.
jamie vernon
Nature versus nurture.
andrew santino
Yeah, nature versus nurture.
Scientific experiment.
joe rogan
But imagine how sick you have to be.
jamie vernon
Fuck.
joe rogan
To decide to separate kids.
andrew santino
Yep.
And show up and test their family to find out how they're growing these children.
Gross as fuck.
You watched it, right, Jamie?
jamie vernon
They'd come test them every week or two, and they'd be doing checkups, and the parents almost didn't even know.
I'm not sure.
andrew santino
Well, one of the parents seemed to be more keen about it, and the other ones just felt like, well, they were getting money for it, so they were like, this is just a part of a program that we're in.
joe rogan
Bro, how is that much different than aliens abducting people?
andrew santino
That's what I'm saying.
joe rogan
It's not.
andrew santino
It's not.
That's my point.
If they got away with that...
joe rogan
You're doing an involuntary life and genetics test.
Bro...
Involuntary.
jamie vernon
Supposedly, they have the data from that, too.
Like, the nurse or the assistant from the doctor that was doing it says there is data.
She has read it, but it has never been released, and it should be because they fucked up all these people's lives.
andrew santino
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
You're leaving out an important part.
It's in a library, in, like, Harvard Library, and it legally can't be released to the public.
It's something that's...
It's someone's holding onto it, and it cannot be released.
They've tried hundreds of times, and it's got a...
2050 release date or whatever.
They're waiting for these people to die.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
So then they'll just go away and no one will think about it anymore.
It's fucking...
Dude, watch it.
It'll fuck you up.
joe rogan
I'm scared.
andrew santino
And then you find out in the documentary they're not the only ones.
They've done this over and over and over and over.
Oh, God.
Dude, I'm sitting on a plane watching it.
joe rogan
That's reptilian.
andrew santino
Yes.
You know when you're on a plane watching something so good and you look around like to other people, you're like...
unidentified
No one's watching it, but I'm like, it's fucking shit.
andrew santino
It was so trippy, man.
It's so trippy.
So yes, do I think that Lazar had people trying to ix out his pen?
For sure.
For sure.
joe rogan
And look, there's a lot of other stuff.
That you gotta go, hmm, I don't know.
How do you prove that?
How do you explain that?
I don't know.
andrew santino
Isn't that like anything in our world?
What do you believe in?
joe rogan
The big questions are, is it education background?
That was a big one.
andrew santino
What do you mean, credibility-wise?
joe rogan
No, whether or not he actually was educated at a certain place.
I'm not, I can't, this is a fucked up one, but I can't say what he told me.
I... But essentially, without saying it, it had to do with projects he was working on.
andrew santino
Currently?
joe rogan
No, at the time.
andrew santino
Oh, right, right.
joe rogan
When he was working at Los Alamos Labs.
I can't say anything more than that.
andrew santino
Fuck!
And now the internet explodes.
joe rogan
But I don't know if it's true.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
I mean, I told them I wouldn't say anything, so I said I wouldn't say anything.
And I'm not going to say anything.
But whatever he said about all these different things, only he knows if it's true.
So when you're talking to a guy, he doesn't seem like a liar.
Seems like he's very intelligent.
He's talking about all kinds of different things.
Very intelligent.
So either he's running the greatest 30-year con of all time.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Or, maybe this really did happen.
When you talk to him, you're just guessing.
You don't know.
I don't know his life.
I don't know his real life, right?
Just guessing.
But he seems like a guy who's seen some shit and just didn't know what to do and told some friends about it and then went to the news.
And that's what that George Knapp guy, who was the investigative journalist that studied this case, over all the years, like this guy's never wavered.
andrew santino
Like he's stuck with the story over and over.
joe rogan
And things have shown to be true that they said were science fiction.
Like there was this equipment they had at Los Alamos Labs that he talked about where it was this thing that measured the distance or the size, rather, of the digits in your finger.
Apparently it's like a great, like your fingers, the inches are specific.
And so if you put your hand down on that thing and then Jamie's hand, it would give a different measurement.
Like there's different, each bone is a different length.
And the exact length is like 1.7, whatever the fuck it is.
You know, 1.7 inches.
Like whatever measurement tool they use.
It was calculating the length of your fingers through some kind of buggy system that he said didn't really work that often.
But people said that's science fiction, it doesn't exist.
And then they finally got photos of these things.
People that worked at Los Alamos Labs concluded, or they conceded that these were a real thing.
andrew santino
But for a long time they were fighting it, being like, that's not real.
joe rogan
Some people that didn't know were saying, he made that stuff up, it doesn't exist.
But it showed it does exist, and it did exist right there where he worked.
He even took them on a tour through the labs.
Like, he knew where everything was.
He used to work there.
So when they went there with the documentary crew, with Jeremy Korbel, they just walked him through.
He showed where he worked.
He walked right in there.
Look, maybe the guy's running the craziest con game of all time, and he's just a super genius and way smarter than me, and he tricked me, and he thinks it's hilarious.
Or maybe he saw some shit.
What he was explaining that made it more and more interesting was how compartmentalized it was.
And about how the problem with being so compartmentalized is that science is based on free exchange of information.
You have to have guys who are testing all these different things and working on them together.
That's the only way you can do it.
So he's limited to a couple of guys that are working on the propulsion system, and then there's a couple other guys that are working on the metallurgy and a couple other guys that are working on the navigation system.
And they chose him because he was kind of a maniac, and he put a fucking jet engine in the back of a Honda.
And it was on the cover of the Los Alamos newspaper.
And it said in the article about Bob Lazar with his fucking jet-powered Honda that he was a scientist at Los Alamos lab, a physicist.
So this was in the newspaper they printed this one.
This guy was doing this thing where he said he was living at the time in the area where Los Alamos was, and it said in the newspaper that he worked at the lab.
There's a fucking logbook of employees.
It's got his name in it from that time.
A guy had it.
He showed it.
They took photos of it.
They showed it to everybody.
Look, we have an employee logbook.
Or the employee directory, rather.
Robert Lazar, right there.
So he worked there.
He really did work there.
andrew santino
How could you fabricate that shit?
joe rogan
Everybody's scared to talk.
All the people he worked with are scared to talk.
andrew santino
Why do you think, though?
joe rogan
Look at what's happening to him, man.
He looks like a fool.
The FBI raids his house.
Everybody calls him crazy.
He didn't want to have anything to do with this.
The only reason why he wanted to do my podcast...
Wanted one more chance to just get it out in a form where it's just him talking.
And he felt like he and I, we both talked about it.
I think me and you talking.
I'll just let you talk.
You tell me what happened.
And I'll let everybody figure out if it's true.
I don't know.
andrew santino
What do you think, honestly?
joe rogan
There was parts of me that said maybe I'm just dumber than this guy and he's like really manipulative and maybe he just knows how to tell a story and stick with it.
andrew santino
You're pretty fucking keen, dude.
joe rogan
I know, but it's a tricky thing, man.
You can get cocky.
You can get cocky.
You can get cocky and think that you know that someone's not full of shit.
andrew santino
Yeah, but I feel like you talk to enough fucking people who are and aren't full of shit that your meter is higher than most.
joe rogan
I'm also nice.
So when I'm trying to talk to someone, I want things to work out well in conversation.
andrew santino
You're giving the benefit of the doubt often.
joe rogan
I want them to have a good time when we're talking.
I don't want to confront people.
Even if I angrily disagree with every fiber in my being...
As I've gotten older and better at it, better at talking to people, I avoid that kind of conflict.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
I just, I don't think it's necessary.
andrew santino
But I just don't, I just think your bullshit meter is keen enough where you'd be like, I don't know.
joe rogan
I think it's super cocky to say that.
I would like to think it is.
Yeah, my ego would like to say, bro, I can fucking tell.
You can't lie to me, bro.
Just try to lie.
I've had people lie to me, man.
andrew santino
Dude, I know NASA, bro.
That ain't NASA stuff, you know what I mean?
joe rogan
I think there's times when you know someone's full of shit.
And there's times where you think you know someone's full of shit and you're wrong.
This whole thing of looking in someone's eye and talking to them.
Sometimes someone will tell you something like, oh, bro, I didn't even know you called me.
You're like, you motherfucker.
You see it right in their eyes.
Like, you piece of shit.
unidentified
You didn't know.
andrew santino
I didn't see your text, man.
I didn't even see it.
You didn't?
It said you fucking saw it.
joe rogan
Come on, bitch.
andrew santino
Yeah, fuck that shit.
joe rogan
Well, who knows?
andrew santino
I don't know.
It freaked me out.
I'm not gonna lie.
It was like fucking...
joe rogan
Sometimes you have to do that to people.
andrew santino
What?
joe rogan
Hey, man, I didn't get your call.
andrew santino
Really?
joe rogan
Is it better off to say hey I find you a little annoying And very needy and so when I get a phone call From you often I cringe I do like you And I enjoy our time but sometimes I just can't sometimes I can't That's probably the most healthy version But you can't say that No you can't you have to go like this you go I didn't You did today oh fuck I didn't see it sorry man I didn't see it Did you not get my text that's what people that Bothers me did you not get my text
I always say, sorry I didn't respond to your text.
I try to say that first.
andrew santino
Yeah, but let me tell you something.
As a man, if I text you and I'll get a text back, I don't get a fucking butt hurt.
No, I just go, that's it.
He saw it.
It is what it is.
I don't send a text in needing...
If I needed a real response from you, I would call you and go, hey, I need to talk to you about something.
joe rogan
You ever have someone send you a text that's like a little on the needy side and then they send you one like three minutes later that says hello?
Every day.
andrew santino
Every fucking day.
Jamie.
Every day to me.
When are you coming over?
When are you coming over?
I'm coming, Jamie.
joe rogan
Leave me alone.
andrew santino
From our afternoon pump session, you know?
joe rogan
Some people just get real weird with like them sending them messages in a bottle.
andrew santino
That's what it is.
joe rogan
It's a little message.
andrew santino
Did you get it?
And then the other side of it is Bobby Lee who literally never answers a text ever.
Ever, ever, ever.
I've sent him a thousand texts.
joe rogan
Good for him.
andrew santino
Yeah, he doesn't answer.
joe rogan
Good for him.
andrew santino
His notification is like 800 fucking little red, you know?
He never answers.
He doesn't give a shit.
But everyone who's friends with him knows that's just Bobby.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Jelly just calls you.
andrew santino
Yeah, Joey, I texted you and he calls.
joe rogan
I've been calling people a lot more.
I've been calling people a lot more.
andrew santino
It's more personal.
joe rogan
Well, it's also like you can't call as many people as you can text.
And I think there's an overload of communication that occurs when you're texting with like 10 different friends at the same time.
I got dudes sending me videos of them kicking pads and people sending me...
I mean, look at this fish I caught.
Like, I fucking get these texts all day from all these crazy, interesting people.
Imagine if I got that many phone calls in a day.
It would be insane.
andrew santino
Turn your phone off.
joe rogan
You'd be like, hey, what's up, man?
unidentified
Hold on, hold on.
joe rogan
Someone's calling me.
Hey, what's up, Tom?
Like, you would never, right?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you would never, if you think about it, even if you have, like, three friends, and you're texting each other back and forth throughout the day, making jokes, maybe, you know, like, a group chat.
Like, a lot of us are in group chats.
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
Talk a lot of shit and show ridiculous pictures.
andrew santino
Shit that would get me kicked out of the country.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, for sure, right?
I mean, you would never do that if it was phone calls.
You would be like, you needy bitch, I gotta call you all day?
I'm calling you in the morning, I gotta call you in the afternoon.
Are we fucking?
What's happening?
Even if we were, if you needed me to call you that many times in a day, I'd be like, hey, hey, hey.
We gotta be happy being alone, too.
Be happy being together, but also, you gotta be able to be alone.
If you need phone calls all day long, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
andrew santino
Chill out.
Chill the fuck out.
joe rogan
That's why a text is good because you could be in the middle of some shit, right?
If you're one of them dudes who's inclined to change a transmission, you want to rebuild an old Chrysler or something like that, you could be under there in that little text message.
I'll get back to him.
andrew santino
I'll figure that out.
joe rogan
That's Mike.
Maybe real quick.
Yeah, we're going to meet at 8. You know, it's minimal, right?
andrew santino
There's nothing to it.
joe rogan
But isn't that bad?
To be talking to people that way, isn't it?
andrew santino
Is it bad to be talking to people so much?
joe rogan
It's a shit diet.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's a shitty diet.
Duncan and I were talking about the other day about...
Like, finding information online, just constantly being inundated with stories of horrific things and bad things and terrible things and ugly things, that it's a bad diet.
It's a bad, like, mind diet.
And I was like, you're so right.
You think you're, like, immune to it.
That you are who you are, and this is just some stuff you're experiencing.
But much like if you eat healthy foods, your body feels better.
I think if you concentrate on healthy things, and interesting things, and fascinating things, and not horseshit, I think you're giving yourself a better mental diet.
andrew santino
Totally.
I think if you consume too much of anything, it's bad, right?
So consuming too much of, even too much positive information can be fucking detrimental.
joe rogan
Yes, because you can get delusional.
andrew santino
Yes, so you have to have some semblance of a balance of how you ingest.
joe rogan
But the people that only ingest negative, they're like people who only eat candy.
If you were a grown adult and for like 10 years you only ate candy, your body would be a mess.
You'd be barely alive!
If you just had to live off Snickers bars, how much nutrition is in a Snickers bar?
I want to do something with that dude who did the 30 days with the Big Macs.
How about this guy?
Hey bro, do this.
Just eat nothing but Snickers and see how long you stay alive.
Snickers satisfies to a point.
andrew santino
Satisfy your hunger, I guess.
joe rogan
They're delicious.
andrew santino
Yeah, they're phenomenal.
joe rogan
I love a Snickers bar.
They're great to take on hikes, too, by the way.
andrew santino
What, really?
joe rogan
Yeah, a lot of sugar.
andrew santino
There's enough nutrition in there?
joe rogan
You're burning sugar, man.
andrew santino
Yeah, so fuck it.
joe rogan
When you're hiking up mountains and shit, people love Snickers bars.
andrew santino
Wow.
joe rogan
But hey, I think even the Snickers people would tell you, don't live off that shit, stupid.
You can't live off a...
Isn't that interesting?
Like, there's a food you eat that you cannot live off of.
andrew santino
Yes.
Because all food at one point you had to eat to live off of.
joe rogan
How many days do you think you could go with only eating Snickers bars?
And should this be the Sober October Challenge?
andrew santino
Yes.
First of all, yes.
We might die.
What if we die?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Bert would die.
andrew santino
Bert will die, but I mean, that is what it is.
joe rogan
If you only can eat Snickers bars and water.
andrew santino
Two weeks.
Two weeks without your body malfunctioning.
I think something's going to happen.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Imagine how dumb you'd get.
jamie vernon
There's a post I just found from like two years ago where people asked this question and it was a discussion.
Someone did the math.
You have to eat about 12 to get the caloric intake to get that 2,000 a day.
joe rogan
12?
jamie vernon
12 a day.
joe rogan
Just for 2,000 calories.
But how many days could you survive?
jamie vernon
I don't know.
I mean, that's up to you.
andrew santino
Well, bro, let's think about that.
12 Snickers bars a day?
Holy shit.
joe rogan
But how long do you think...
Okay, the problem with that is everyone is not coming from the same starting point.
andrew santino
That's the biggest issue.
joe rogan
You have to have all those three twin guys separated and make them all eat Snickers until one of them dies.
andrew santino
You guys need a control.
You guys need some sort of control.
joe rogan
They would be the test.
Just feed them.
Give them a million dollars each.
Give them nothing but Snickers until someone's on the verge of death.
Until somebody taps.
andrew santino
Tap out, bitch.
joe rogan
How many days do you think you could go on only Snickers?
andrew santino
I say two weeks is probably the human body will start to shut down.
joe rogan
I wonder.
Maybe you could go a long time.
andrew santino
Well, let me say this.
You could fucking find this.
There's a dude that's been eating just pizza for like 25 years.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
We'll find that dude.
There's a dude that eats just pepperoni pizza.
joe rogan
I respect that.
I think I was like, fuck it.
My parents told me what to do my whole life, and I'm a grown man now, bitch.
I eat pizza every day.
Just crying and eating pizza in his socks.
andrew santino
The journalist tried to get him to have a piece of leafy greens.
Puked on camera.
unidentified
He couldn't fucking do it.
benjamin jaffe
Unless it's basil and a nice sauce, get that fucking green shit out of here.
andrew santino
Yeah, he ate pizza for 20 years.
Something like that.
joe rogan
That's insane.
andrew santino
What was it, Jamie?
What was it?
jamie vernon
2012. 25 years.
He says he has one bowl of raisin bran a week.
unidentified
Just so you can shit that compacted glue.
joe rogan
That's what Pete says.
It's like glue mixed with protein.
Just chewing down all that dough.
That delicious dough.
andrew santino
Holy shit.
25 years.
jamie vernon
He does have diabetes.
joe rogan
Of course he does.
Duh.
andrew santino
Color me surprised.
joe rogan
How the fuck...
Sorry, buddy, for laughing at your diabetes.
But how the fuck...
andrew santino
Not at all.
Not sorry.
joe rogan
How the fuck does someone eat nothing but that glue for 25 years?
andrew santino
That's the cat.
joe rogan
That's him?
unidentified
Looks good.
joe rogan
Looks like he's funny.
Guy should be doing YouTube videos.
andrew santino
So what do they call...
They call him skinny fat.
There was an article they called him...
You know skinny fat, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, he looks remarkably good for someone who's only eating pizza for 25 years.
There might be something to it.
andrew santino
But they say skinny fat's fucking these people up.
joe rogan
Skinny fat?
andrew santino
Skinny fat.
Where, like, the body doesn't show any signs.
But the inside's fucking murdered.
It's torn apart.
joe rogan
His organs are failing.
andrew santino
Nothing's there.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's why you can look small, but you don't have anything there.
Right.
andrew santino
Skinny fat people.
joe rogan
Your limbs are barely hanging on.
Threads.
andrew santino
It's like a fucking puppet.
joe rogan
There's certain people, you know?
Certain people, like, you hug them.
And you're like, oh my god.
andrew santino
God, there's nothing there.
joe rogan
You're so frail.
unidentified
So sad.
andrew santino
It is funny.
That's like when I take pictures after shows and say how to people.
unidentified
Yeah.
andrew santino
You know, and you grab, and some people you feel, and you're like, wow, that's fucking weird.
joe rogan
It's weird.
andrew santino
It's weird.
You're like a fucking lump of bones.
Just a bag of sticks.
joe rogan
Sticks covered with jello.
unidentified
It's the lump of bones.
joe rogan
It's terrible.
andrew santino
She's a bony lump bag.
joe rogan
What's really terrible is when...
I mean, I'm not saying you have to be a bodybuilder.
andrew santino
Oh, but you have to fucking...
joe rogan
You should keep your body moving.
It's just a laziness thing.
It's a discipline thing.
This idea that some sort of nobility and humility and not caring about your body, it's silly.
You only get one.
You get one.
It doesn't make you dumber if you work out.
Stop.
I know that jocks were assholes and people bullied you.
I get it.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
But goddammit, take care of your fucking meat vehicle.
Just go take care of it.
andrew santino
Take care of the meat skeleton.
joe rogan
And people go, oh yeah, you're vain, that's why you work out.
Yes!
That too.
I like looking good.
I like it.
It's better to me than not looking good.
I'm sorry.
I'm willing to put in the time.
andrew santino
But you know what the irony is?
Because of the hype of...
Because of the growth of MMA... Cheers.
Cheers, my brother.
Because of the growth of MMA... CrossFit, all of these new worlds that have kind of emerged socially now that are so much bigger than they were years ago, nerds that I grew up in high school are into working out.
Yeah, that's the irony.
joe rogan
That's a big thing with jiu-jitsu.
andrew santino
That's what I'm saying.
It's like the biggest insecure people, now they've found a home in something that's disciplined.
joe rogan
It's good.
It feels good to move your body.
It feels good.
It feels good to do things, whether it's taking a dance class.
I'm not into that, but taking karate.
andrew santino
I'm not into that shit.
joe rogan
I like yoga.
I like running.
Yeah.
Doing jujitsu, obviously.
I like all kinds of martial arts.
But I just like moving my body, man.
I like running up hills.
Move your body.
Get it going.
You'll feel better afterwards.
I know you don't want to do it.
I fucking hardly ever want to do it.
I maybe want to actually do it five out of ten times.
andrew santino
Maybe less, yeah.
joe rogan
But I do it.
I just do it.
I know what it's like to not want to do it.
I get it.
Shut up.
I just start talking to myself.
I go, come on, pussy.
What are you talking about?
andrew santino
Do it.
joe rogan
If I was you, outside of you, knowing what I know, if I could read my mind, I'd be like, come on, bitch.
You're just being lazy.
Put your fucking shoes on.
Get a sweat going, and then you're going to feel pumped.
Come on, man.
You've done this a million times.
And then, invariably, I'll be in the middle of the workout, I'm sweating, I'm like, fuck yeah.
andrew santino
Woo!
joe rogan
And then I get into it.
It's like, you've got to push past that creepy resistance that Steven Pressfield wrote about in The War of Art.
It applies not just to art, not just to writing.
It applies to cleaning your room, it applies to saying you're sorry to a friend, it applies to taking care of a debt, all those things.
It's this weird thing that you have.
When you see a problem, you gotta fix it.
When you see a thing you have to do, go do it.
When you know something's, like, clean your fucking room, right?
That's what Jordan Peterson always says.
andrew santino
Clean your room.
joe rogan
Clean your room.
And that really is what he means.
Get your shit in order.
andrew santino
Well, dude, I think it's also a personality trait, though, too, to be fair.
I'm someone that has to get it done.
You know when someone goes, you don't have to do it all at once?
I'm the opposite.
I'm like, yeah, you do.
Yeah, you fucking do.
She wants new blinds at the house?
What if we just do the living room for now?
I was like, no, no, no.
joe rogan
Just do it.
andrew santino
Get the whole fucking thing done.
What's the difference?
joe rogan
That's a manly thing to say, too.
andrew santino
Get it fucking done.
joe rogan
Can we just have this window?
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
This window.
This will be my shade spot.
A man goes, it's America!
andrew santino
Through the whole fucking thing.
unidentified
Shades!
andrew santino
Back the truck up.
joe rogan
All around with the fucking shades.
andrew santino
Give me some new fucking blinds.
joe rogan
I want trees around this house.
andrew santino
I want to walk around my cock out.
joe rogan
You could buy an old tree.
You know that?
You could buy, like, I want a tree in my yard that's 500 years old.
They'll find you one.
That's dope, though.
andrew santino
That's cool to be like, place it here.
I gotta fuck it.
I have a 150-plus old oak tree in my backyard.
joe rogan
Here's what's weird.
unidentified
Manly shit.
joe rogan
Say if you have a piece of land, right?
And that piece of land is 100 acres, a beautiful piece of land.
You know, you don't own the animals on that land.
If there's wildlife on that land, if there's a bunch of deer on that land, you can't just shoot them.
You have to have tags.
You have to have state-allocated tags that give out a certain amount based on the deer population using wildlife biologists.
They view it from helicopters and shit.
They have all these different ways.
They have trail cameras.
All these different ways they determine the numbers and they figure out how many people can hunt.
But you own the trees.
Isn't that weird?
You own all the trees.
andrew santino
Yeah, you own everything that they're around.
joe rogan
If you own some gigantic population of pine trees in the forest, like you own some giant swath of land that you're logging, like those logging companies do, they own those trees somehow.
They don't own the deer.
They don't own the elk.
They don't own the eagles.
But they own the fucking trees.
unidentified
It's weird, man.
andrew santino
Maybe it's because the trees don't move.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
andrew santino
Trees can't move, man.
joe rogan
They're easy to just...
I could just take that?
They, like, completely overfish, you know what I mean?
With the forest.
And then they leave these big cut, like, these huge cut areas.
Like, have you ever been to the woods and seen a place that's been logged?
andrew santino
Yep.
joe rogan
It's interesting, right?
andrew santino
Yeah, it's wild to see.
Oh, it's kind of beautiful in a weird way.
I hate to say it, but it's like, you're like, wow, that's, it's mesmerizing.
joe rogan
You know, it's a key area for hunting, too.
andrew santino
Right, because, well, there's a clearing now, right?
joe rogan
There's a clearing and the animals come out to eat the sprouts.
andrew santino
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
Because the new life grows up.
Yeah.
And it's a big open place, so it gets plenty of rain and sunlight.
Like, sometimes the canopy keeps, like, smaller things from growing.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
You don't get enough sunlight.
And a lot of times in the canopy, too, like, everything's beaten down with pine needles, everything's covered, you know, with leaves and shit inside.
When you have a real thick forest, those big open areas, man, all these animals come out and you can find it in there.
andrew santino
That's fucking Wild.
Easy hunting season, huh?
joe rogan
Well, it's never easy.
They can smell you in an impossible distance way.
andrew santino
Do you put stuff on yourself to not smell?
joe rogan
No, you can't do anything.
andrew santino
You can't cover up the smell, huh?
joe rogan
No chance.
The only thing you can do is there's a thing called Ozonics that does work, but it only works if you're in one place.
So, like, if you're in a tree stand, you have a thing that you put above your head and it sheds ozone down on your body.
And what the ozone does, and this is how it's been explained to me, again, remember, I'm a moron.
andrew santino
I was like, you're talking to a fucking idiot.
joe rogan
I went to community college and then I went to Boston University, UMass Boston, rather, for three years in their continuing education program.
I never even took my SATs.
I'm a legitimate moron.
But apparently, this ozone shit that comes down over you, it confuses the deer.
Like, the deer gets a scent, and it's like, what the fuck is that?
He doesn't know what it is.
As opposed to smelling you and going, fuck!
They smell you, they just run.
They smell people, they just run.
andrew santino
Yeah, they take off.
joe rogan
They'll run like hundreds of yards away.
You'll see them just go like this and then just take off.
And you're like, what happened?
And you blow some, this like white talc in the air, like a puff of talc.
And as it drifts, you see which way the wind's blowing.
It's a wind checker.
So when you're up there in the wind, you have this little, it's almost like a little baby powder type deal.
And you just press it and the stuff goes in the air.
And you can see exactly where they went.
They even have vaporizers now that do it now.
I have one that's like a vaporizer.
You press a button, it just mist goes in the air.
andrew santino
To show you where the wind is.
joe rogan
It's just mist.
Yeah, it's wild.
And it's just for that, just to make smoke so you can see which way the smoke goes.
But it's just mist.
andrew santino
That's the ozone shit.
Three ozone bonds to your scent molecules.
joe rogan
Yeah, so this is what they're saying.
I don't think they're allowed to lie about this shit.
andrew santino
So essentially it creates a shield for your natural odor.
joe rogan
My friend John Dudley is a big believer in this.
Anything he's a big believer in, I'm a big believer in.
andrew santino
That is fucking wild.
joe rogan
Apparently it does work.
But still, if they see you move, if something funky comes their way, maybe it works 80% of the time.
Dear, some sneaky fucks.
They're smart.
andrew santino
How good is their vision?
joe rogan
Their vision is good, but they view things from an edge detection thing.
They see things that move.
So if you just freeze, if you have camouflage on and you freeze, they'll often walk right by you.
Yeah, especially if you have, there's a thing, this is another thing, called a hex suit, H-E-C-S, and a hex suit, I wear one, I don't know if they really work, but they appear to work with birds, like they've proven that birds follow an electrical magnetic signal, that's how they get home.
They use the natural magnetism of the earth to figure out where the fuck they're going.
It's crazy.
unidentified
What?
andrew santino
Isn't that funny that we can't do that?
joe rogan
We're so stupid.
andrew santino
We can't get home.
Fuck it, I'm lost.
joe rogan
Yeah, we can just use our phones.
andrew santino
Two wrong turns, I'm fucked, though.
joe rogan
But these birds, it works with birds.
All these guys say that you put these suits on, birds have no idea you're there.
They don't see you.
It blocks the electromagnetic signal that your body's giving off.
andrew santino
What could that be made out of?
What's that mean?
joe rogan
It's a mesh.
There's some sort of a mesh that they use.
unidentified
That blocks that?
joe rogan
Yeah, that blocks it.
They actually have meters that can show.
They put it on, wave it over this thing, there's no reaction, take it off, and then there's a reaction.
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
Where it's detecting the signal that your body puts out.
The real question is, they prove that it does that.
The real question is, can animals really see it?
And how many of them can see it?
The big thing is smell.
It doesn't matter if they can't see you.
If they fucking smell you, they're gone.
andrew santino
Yeah, they're gone, right?
joe rogan
So you could look just like a tree.
But if a deer smells you, he's going to just start running.
They just run.
andrew santino
What's the only fix for the smell thing other than that?
joe rogan
That thing.
unidentified
That's it.
joe rogan
That's it.
Their sense of smell is impossible to understand.
It's so much better than ours that what we have shouldn't even be called a sense of smell.
If we like the difference...
andrew santino
Should be called holes.
Face holes.
joe rogan
Yeah, like how well do ants do stand-up comedy?
That's in comparison to a human.
andrew santino
There's a couple of good ants, dude.
joe rogan
A couple of guys got a good five minutes.
andrew santino
There's a couple of good ants, man.
They got a tight three.
joe rogan
But that's what the difference is in comparison to how bad our noses work versus a deer.
unidentified
Right.
andrew santino
Who's the best?
What animal's the best?
joe rogan
I think a bear.
andrew santino
Bears have the best sense of smell?
joe rogan
I think bears have a preposterous sense of smell.
andrew santino
Dogs are really good, but it's not that high.
joe rogan
I think a bear is like a hundred times stronger than a bloodhound.
What the fuck?
jamie vernon
It can smell 18 miles away.
joe rogan
18 fucking miles?
Buh-roh.
andrew santino
Search what the average sight distance is.
What's the typical sight distance?
People can only see about a mile, right?
joe rogan
It depends on the animal.
Some animals don't see good at all.
Pigs don't see good at all.
You just freeze on a pig.
They don't know what the fuck's going on.
Eagles, for sure.
jamie vernon
It's about little mice in the fucking field.
Eagles?
andrew santino
Eagles have the best sight.
They can see for miles and miles.
joe rogan
My friend from Alaska, he goes halibut fishing all the time.
He said, if you're pulling a fish up, an eagle can see it miles away.
andrew santino
That's some dinosaur shit.
That's how you know dinosaur shit is at play.
Miles?
joe rogan
What?
jamie vernon
Grizzly can find an elk carcass when it's underwater and polar bears can smell a seal through three feet of ice.
unidentified
Jesus Christ!
andrew santino
Three fucking feet of ice?
joe rogan
Jesus Christ!
Oh my god!
andrew santino
That's insane.
joe rogan
Three feet of ice.
That is a fucking monster.
Imagine if you were in a big concrete building and it's three feet thick and there's a bear on the outside going...
unidentified
Neat.
joe rogan
If that was a monster movie, be like, this is insane!
unidentified
This monster's insane!
andrew santino
Let this monster know I'm here!
joe rogan
Like, it'd be two kids, right?
Their parents have already been killed, and they're just breathing.
Like, don't worry, we're safe.
This concrete's three feet thick.
There's no way it can smell us.
And it's outside.
I smell you.
andrew santino
Oh, he talks too?
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
Three fucking feet.
Eat you and your sister.
andrew santino
18 miles of smell.
Three feet of smell through ice.
joe rogan
Did you ever see the video where the BBC reporter gets inside a box?
Like a plexiglass box?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
And they put him around polar bears?
andrew santino
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
And the polar bear tries to eat him?
And the polar bear's trying to eat him through this box?
Trying to figure out how to get to him?
Because it knows he's in this box?
It is fucking terrifying.
andrew santino
Dude, why would you ever?
joe rogan
Bro, and this guy's got cameras on him the whole time.
Shit in his pants.
Just dookie in left and right.
Fill in those drawers, son.
andrew santino
How strong is that?
That thing has to be indestructible.
joe rogan
They're so big.
They're so big, and we've been really fucked over.
Just let that run, Jamie.
We've been really fucked over with goddamn Klondike bars and Coca-Cola.
andrew santino
Making them look sweet.
joe rogan
We have a super distorted perception of this fucking predatory killing machine that eats its babies.
andrew santino
Bro.
joe rogan
Bro, these things are fucking ruthless.
They're the cleanup crew.
They're there to make sure.
There's so few resources up there in the wild that this giant behemoth of a bear exists so he could just jack everything.
Just jack everything and keep the populations nice and low.
andrew santino
Look at that.
You're right in there.
joe rogan
I'm not a biologist.
So he knows it's in there.
He's just trying to get at it.
He's biting it.
andrew santino
Damn, dude, that would fuck me up.
joe rogan
Look at this, man.
It's pressing on it.
That's glass, man!
If it breaks, you're dead!
If it breaks, you're fucking dead!
andrew santino
It's trying to get its fucking teeth through it.
joe rogan
Bro, when it's opening its mouth, that's a monster's mouth.
andrew santino
This is what I look like drunk at a McDonald's at fucking four in the morning trying to get food to the drive-thru.
joe rogan
This poor guy.
andrew santino
Give me nuggets!
joe rogan
It's behind him.
He's like, but the camera is this way.
andrew santino
Oh, they're shaking the shit out of it.
joe rogan
Of course it is.
Why would he be so convinced that that thing would survive?
andrew santino
It'd be so dope if it just...
joe rogan
How do they rescue this cat?
andrew santino
This dude?
joe rogan
Yeah, how do they get him out of there?
Like, how long does it take to get him out of there?
andrew santino
They've got to find a way to distract this bear.
jamie vernon
At the end, it just walked away.
joe rogan
Come on, son.
andrew santino
Yeah, it's got to get frustrated at some point.
Like, fuck this.
Look at that.
He goes, fuck this.
joe rogan
But how did they test that box?
What if that guy hated him?
The guy who made the box.
Oh, this guy's going to climb out?
I'm out.
I am free.
We've got a prize.
Oh, the bear.
Yeah, like, let's pretend the bear's right there.
andrew santino
Yeah, right next to him.
joe rogan
That thing can run 35 miles an hour.
Fuck out of here.
You ever seen how fast a bear runs?
andrew santino
Yeah, they're insane.
joe rogan
Dude, they run like that on ice.
Those things just dig in with their claws.
They can run fast.
andrew santino
I like how they kind of pretended like that was a totally safe, normal experiment for him to do.
Like, he got out like, no big deal, man.
You know, fucking polar bears, ironically, are black underneath all that white fur.
You know that, right?
joe rogan
No, it's clear.
andrew santino
It's clear?
joe rogan
I thought it was clear.
andrew santino
It's black skin.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, their skin's black, yeah.
andrew santino
Isn't that weird?
joe rogan
Yeah, it is.
Well, you've got to imagine that people get snow tanned.
Right?
You get snow blinds.
andrew santino
Yeah, snow blind.
joe rogan
Because of the sun beating off the snow.
People get burnt really bad.
andrew santino
Oh, yeah.
You go skiing without shit on you.
joe rogan
That's what a polar bear looks like.
No, that's a black bear, bro.
jamie vernon
It just says polar bear without hair.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's not.
Look at the hair around its face.
See how it's all black?
I guarantee you that's a black bear.
Also, it just doesn't look big enough.
andrew santino
What does a bear...
jamie vernon
Maybe it's just another one.
joe rogan
It's got mange, but you see how it has the hair on the top of its head's black?
I think someone just wrote that, and it doesn't mean it's correct.
andrew santino
No, but they are.
They're dark, but underneath all that, they are really dark as well.
joe rogan
Hey, maybe when they get mange, their fucking hair on their head gets black.
Who the fuck knows?
andrew santino
Go to that...
joe rogan
Mange is weird shit.
andrew santino
What the fuck is that?
jamie vernon
It's a hairless bear.
I mean, I've seen this before, I guess.
I typed in polar bear, so it popped up, but...
joe rogan
Well, I would imagine.
andrew santino
Pull a bear, no fur.
joe rogan
They're the most terrifying because they're the biggest.
andrew santino
Well, they're right there, Jamie.
The top fourth picture is them spreading the hair apart, right?
You see the skin there.
joe rogan
Yeah, so there you go.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah, and see how the hair looks white, but it's actually, they say it's more of a clear color.
unidentified
Wow.
andrew santino
That's fucking crazy to me.
joe rogan
Yeah, like not technically white.
andrew santino
Right, no.
Yeah, it looks translucent almost, right?
joe rogan
But what an amazing animal, man.
andrew santino
Unbelievable.
joe rogan
Imagine that thing lives in this place where there's no vegetables at all.
andrew santino
Nope.
joe rogan
But it got so big.
It evolved to get that big.
andrew santino
Meat, dude.
Just meat.
Tons and tons and tons of meat.
joe rogan
And it can eat a fucking, like a hole through ice to get to you, too.
It'll just chew through the ice.
It'll do whatever it can to get to you, right?
andrew santino
It's so nice that they're so far away.
joe rogan
They swim.
You know, they jump in the water and swim.
jamie vernon
They can swim six miles an hour.
unidentified
Bro!
andrew santino
And for how long can they swim?
I wonder how long they can stay in the water for, because they have to get out at some point.
joe rogan
How fast is that in knots?
And why do we need knots?
andrew santino
Boat people love that shit.
joe rogan
What's up with boat people?
Hey, it's six fathoms.
Hey, fuckface.
How many feet?
jamie vernon
5.2 knots.
joe rogan
5.2 knots is a mile?
6 miles an hour is 5.2 knots.
unidentified
My boat goes 5 knots.
joe rogan
Why would you want to make it slower?
That's so confusing.
Why would they do that when they could just do miles an hour?
What is knots?
jamie vernon
I think knots were around before miles an hour.
unidentified
No, well, kilometers were also before miles an hour.
joe rogan
Was it?
andrew santino
Yeah, kilometers.
joe rogan
I thought kilometers were the metric system and that was later.
andrew santino
No, knots are kilometers then miles.
joe rogan
Really smart people are like, why the fuck are they talking?
Why are they talking about kilometers?
andrew santino
Some engineer was like, God damn it!
joe rogan
Bro, when I was in high school, they tried to put the metric system on us.
They tried to bring back the metric system.
andrew santino
Nah.
joe rogan
And we're like, bitch, this is America.
Fuck you and fuck your systems of 10. We leave out unnecessary letters, too.
jamie vernon
Maybe not.
Oh, never mind.
unidentified
Sorry.
joe rogan
Didn't work.
Just like soccer.
They tried to push soccer on us, too.
andrew santino
You know why soccer didn't work?
I was talking about this today.
joe rogan
Because this is America?
andrew santino
Too slow.
joe rogan
Baseball works.
What are you saying?
andrew santino
People love goals.
People love goals.
joe rogan
Dude.
andrew santino
People love goals.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
So people love scoring?
andrew santino
Scoring.
Listen, the NHL. I see what you're saying.
The NHL, the reason they changed the blue line rule is because they wanted more goals.
So they got more goals, more viewership.
joe rogan
What's more American than a Grand Slam?
andrew santino
Literally nothing.
joe rogan
Bases loaded.
andrew santino
Crack!
jamie vernon
That's all SportsCenter used to be.
Home runs and dunks over and over.
andrew santino
That's what it fucking should be.
We love seeing that moment.
So in soccer, when you have 90 minutes and sometimes no goals, I get it.
I can't do it.
joe rogan
But if you understand how difficult it is, if you're a fan of the game...
If you love the game, I get it.
Like, Ian loves it.
andrew santino
Yeah, he does.
He's the only black guy I know that loves soccer in America.
joe rogan
Is that real?
andrew santino
In America?
How many black fucking friends do you have that love soccer?
He's my only one.
joe rogan
That's true.
andrew santino
I don't have any black friends that watch soccer.
joe rogan
That's true.
andrew santino
He's literally my only one.
jamie vernon
In Jamaica, right, though?
joe rogan
Yes.
And England.
He lives in England as well.
andrew santino
England, Jamaica.
Right.
Born in Jamaica, then moved to England and New York.
jamie vernon
Have you seen those games he goes to?
They look awesome.
joe rogan
They do.
We were supposed to go.
andrew santino
Dude, they're fun.
I'm not taking...
They're fucking fun.
It's just...
It's not...
I don't...
It's not my shit.
joe rogan
We were organizing a comedian thing, but I had a family thing that I had to do.
I couldn't make it.
But they look like a good time, especially if you want to get blasted.
On some of this Mike Tyson weed that we smoked today.
andrew santino
It's fucking delicious, by the way.
Thank you, Mike.
joe rogan
Thank you, Mike.
Shout out to the champ.
andrew santino
Motherfucking champ.
joe rogan
What were we just talking about?
jamie vernon
Polar bears.
joe rogan
Oh, polar bears.
Yeah, man.
There was...
There was some article about polar bears...
You know, whenever we say that polar bear populations are threatened, they definitely are, in certain spots.
But the places where polar bears occupy is enormous.
andrew santino
Yeah, it's huge.
joe rogan
And in some areas, there's a lot of them.
And we have this non-nuanced way of looking at polar bears.
So people would get really mad if they found out these Inuits were killing polar bears.
But sometimes these folks are living in places where polar bears start entering their villages...
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
And they're super dangerous.
andrew santino
Killing their babies.
joe rogan
They'll kill people.
They will straight up kill people.
andrew santino
You know why I think that is?
joe rogan
There's a comic who's also a veterinarian.
Kevin...
andrew santino
He's a vet?
joe rogan
Yeah, he's a guy who performed in Denver.
I met him in Denver.
I was working with him one night.
unidentified
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
joe rogan
Yeah, do you know him?
andrew santino
Yeah, he's famous in Denver.
joe rogan
Kevin Fitzgerald.
andrew santino
He has a TV show out there.
joe rogan
Kevin Fitzgerald.
See, I was going to say Fitzgerald, but I thought I was wrong because my friend Dave Fitzgerald, I was just talking about.
andrew santino
He's got long white hair.
Yeah, like a hit.
Yeah.
joe rogan
He told me that polar bears out of the womb are like Predator.
You know, like the movie Predator.
Like out of the womb, they're just trying to bite and kill.
Out of the womb.
andrew santino
Dope.
joe rogan
Out of the womb.
They just come out.
unidentified
Ah!
joe rogan
And I was like, well, it makes sense.
If you stop and think about what their life is, everything is just white and frozen.
And occasionally you catch something slipping.
Occasionally you catch someone who's sunning themselves and you get to them before they can get away and you can dive in the water and grab a foot and drag them back up.
andrew santino
Survival, man.
joe rogan
The darkest story that I ever heard.
I don't know if this is true, but let's pretend it is.
andrew santino
Yeah, fine.
joe rogan
There was some sort of an expedition and their boat hit some ice.
And so their boat starts sinking.
And they had a real problem because the next boat was hours away.
So they call in a mayday for the next boat, and they climb out of the boat in time before it sinks, and they get to an ice shelter, like an ice raft, an ice island, I guess.
andrew santino
Like an island, yeah.
joe rogan
Ice island.
In the distance, they see a polar bear.
andrew santino
Fuck.
joe rogan
And it's many, many ice land bridges or whatever the fuck it is.
andrew santino
Whatever ice distance that is.
joe rogan
Ice island away.
andrew santino
Ice steps.
joe rogan
But it keeps jumping in the water and getting closer.
unidentified
Fuck, man.
joe rogan
It's trying to figure out what the fuck they are.
And then finally it gets to them.
It finds out what they are.
It's in the ice island next to them.
Jumps in the water.
Pops up.
Grabs one guy.
There's nothing anybody can do about it.
andrew santino
Fuck.
joe rogan
Takes him, kills him, drags him in the water again, goes back on the other ice island, just starts eating him.
andrew santino
And they're just chilling, watching it.
joe rogan
They're one ice island away, hoping that he doesn't stay hungry after he eats their friend.
andrew santino
I hope it was your least favorite friend.
joe rogan
And then, the boat comes and rescues him.
andrew santino
Fuck me.
And they had to watch their friend get eaten alive.
joe rogan
Their friend got eaten alive.
Well, he died probably quick.
andrew santino
But he probably ate him in front of them.
He probably took it so they could see it.
joe rogan
He didn't care.
andrew santino
Yeah, that's what I mean.
joe rogan
Do you worry when you eat a clam that you're eating it in front of other clams?
andrew santino
Depends on who I'm eating in front of.
No.
I'm sure the bear ate it to know.
I'm saying he kept an eye on them.
joe rogan
Yes.
andrew santino
It's like, you're next, dude.
joe rogan
Well, he probably knows that they're there if this isn't enough.
I mean, maybe the guy's like a small guy.
andrew santino
What do you do?
What do you do?
You just sit there and watch it?
You jump in the water?
What do you fucking do?
joe rogan
You can't swim away.
You'll freeze to death if you get in that water.
You just have to accept the fact that if it chooses to kill you, that's your time.
There's nothing else you can do.
You can't fight it off.
andrew santino
I would punch my buddy and knock him out so it's easier than...
You know what I mean?
Knock him out.
Which buddy?
Huh?
joe rogan
You have to think about how much you love your friends.
andrew santino
Oh my god, there's so many people I'd knock out and leave for bears to eat.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's a lot of people.
andrew santino
Most of my friends I'd knock out.
joe rogan
But what it is is just, it's inescapable.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The power that it has.
andrew santino
Have you had a moment of near-death experience?
joe rogan
Never.
Like that.
unidentified
Never once?
joe rogan
No, never around an animal like that.
andrew santino
Have you ever had a near-death experience?
Where you're like, fuck, I could die.
jamie vernon
Oh, maybe.
joe rogan
Car accidents.
andrew santino
Car accidents.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
That's the only time I thought I might die.
joe rogan
Every car accident is kind of a near-death experience.
andrew santino
It is.
joe rogan
You ever know.
andrew santino
Have you not been in a bad one?
joe rogan
I've been in some bad ones.
I've been lucky.
andrew santino
That's near-death shit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
You ever ride bikes?
Motorcycles?
joe rogan
No, I was gonna.
andrew santino
That's near-death shit.
joe rogan
Two people I knew crashed, and one person I knew saw someone get hit.
All in like a month.
It was like bang, bang.
So two people I know crashed and fucked themselves up.
One was a dude that I was working with.
And another was Frank Mir, who was fighting in the UFC. He was one of the best heavyweights on the planet.
And some guy ran a red light and T-boned him.
Snapped his leg in half, sent him flying through the air.
Had a real problem.
I mean, he almost lost his leg, man.
andrew santino
It was lucky he lived.
joe rogan
But the femurs, like the big upper leg, that's a really bad bone to break, man.
andrew santino
Well, that's when you die, usually.
joe rogan
Yeah, it takes a long time to heal.
It's very dangerous.
A lot of blood flows through that area.
andrew santino
A lot of main arteries that can fucking bleed out real easily.
joe rogan
Yeah, it takes a long time for that leg comes back.
And for Frank, it was years before he was like 100% again.
And arguably, he never was the same.
It's arguable that something like that, you're always going to be playing catch-up.
unidentified
Because it's such a devastating injury.
joe rogan
Sounds like fuck motorcycles, man.
It's too much.
andrew santino
There's nothing protecting you.
Nothing fucking on the outside, man.
joe rogan
No way.
Well, I was going to say, if you lived in a rural area, but did you hear about that guy that plowed into these bikers?
He was in a pickup truck in New Hampshire.
And there was this, I think they called themselves the Jarhead Bike Club or something like that, a bunch of Marines that got together and rode their bikes around, and this guy plowed into them and killed like seven of them.
andrew santino
On purpose?
joe rogan
No, I don't know what happened.
I don't know if he was being careless, if he was speeding, I don't know.
andrew santino
If he was fucked up.
I do not know.
Where was it?
joe rogan
New Hampshire.
andrew santino
New Hampshire.
joe rogan
So I was going to say, yeah, I drive a motorcycle on some rural road.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it's some rural road, you gotta worry about people not paying attention and shit.
Right.
andrew santino
You move out to the middle of nowhere, you still don't fucking know.
joe rogan
Stephen King, remember what happened to him?
unidentified
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
Stephen King got hit by a guy who was, I think he dropped something in his car.
And so he was leaning over to pick up whatever the fuck he left in his van.
Stephen King was walking by the side of the road.
Maybe it was his dog.
I feel like maybe it was his dog was doing something.
Anyway, the guy wasn't looking and hit him and just broke everything.
I mean, his whole body was broken.
He had several broken bones.
He was fucked up for a long time.
It took him forever before he could just sit at his desk again and write.
And he details it in great detail.
And he talks about it in his book on writing as well.
That's him with pins in his leg.
I mean...
andrew santino
There's that dog.
joe rogan
And dude, he was older at the time.
I mean, he wasn't a young guy.
andrew santino
But he's always looked old.
For some reason, Stephen King has always looked...
Like, every time I see a photo, I'm like, what is he fucking...
He's always 50?
He's been 50 since he was born.
joe rogan
Well, bro, if you're carrying around that kind of evil inside your brain...
andrew santino
That's what I'm saying, right?
That fucked up shit has made him look old always.
What the fuck is that?
joe rogan
What is this?
andrew santino
Stephen King calls...
jamie vernon
Maybe it's not his train crash.
joe rogan
Let's not go down a little Google rabbit hole, please.
He'd be there forever.
Stephen King, think about how many amazing books that guy has written.
andrew santino
Think about the diversity of them, by the way.
They're not all the same kind of...
People always go, like, Stephen King, horror.
He's done drama.
He's done a lot of different kinds of different things.
joe rogan
But you know what I like?
He almost always made it a writer for Maine.
andrew santino
Right?
joe rogan
It was a guy from Maine.
And then this crazy shit would happen to him.
That's fucking wild.
Many of his stories, not all of them, but many of his stories were a guy from Maine.
andrew santino
Yeah.
Didn't he write Shawshank Redemption?
jamie vernon
Yep.
It was a short story based off, at least.
joe rogan
Dude, you know what I love?
andrew santino
Yeah, it's not his story, but think about that, that he wrote that beautiful...
And the rest of his shit is very dark.
So much of it is black as night.
joe rogan
He's got so much good stuff, man.
I mean...
He's got so much good stuff.
Did you ever read The Tommyknockers?
andrew santino
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
It's fun, man.
It's about an alien craft that crash-landed in the woods.
And I don't want to give any spoilers.
andrew santino
Don't, don't, don't.
joe rogan
It starts changing people.
andrew santino
What does Tommyknocker mean?
What the fuck?
joe rogan
I don't know.
But I think it was based on some old fairy tale that people tell the scare kids.
andrew santino
I like learning old words like that.
Tommyknocker.
unidentified
Tommyknocker.
joe rogan
Find out what it is.
unidentified
Let's find out what Tommyknocker is.
andrew santino
Like this word.
Hey, I have a word for you.
joe rogan
I think it was like Candyman.
You know that kind of thing?
andrew santino
Here's a word.
I have a word for you.
unidentified
There was a word that I heard that I thought was very funny that I wrote down that I was like, oh, Joe will think that's fucking wild.
andrew santino
But I like when I learn a new word, I go, oh, that's fucking...
joe rogan
I always admire you again when I see you.
andrew santino
With no case?
joe rogan
I don't give a fuck.
No case, Jamie.
Jamie rocks no case, too.
He's recently...
jamie vernon
This whole phone, since I've got the gold one, the new iPhone X. How many months has it been since you've been rocking no case?
joe rogan
Do you feel free?
jamie vernon
Sure.
joe rogan
Do you feel better?
jamie vernon
I only had the case for one phone, I guess.
joe rogan
Do you feel better than other people?
jamie vernon
No.
joe rogan
I would.
jamie vernon
I feel riskier.
unidentified
I would.
joe rogan
You feel like more...
jamie vernon
Every day you make it a success.
joe rogan
I so admire how Neil deGrasse Tyson explained it.
He's twirling it around his fingers.
jamie vernon
I've made some catches that maybe is a gained ability because of doing that.
joe rogan
Right?
Otherwise, I might just let it drop if it was in one of them otter cases or something.
Otter box.
Thick ones.
andrew santino
This doesn't ever...
I've said the same thing.
Not to cop...
A Neil deGrasse Tyson ship, but I love the design of this thing.
joe rogan
Yes, it's gorgeous.
andrew santino
Why did I buy it if I don't want the...
joe rogan
That's what you've always said.
Yeah, why?
unidentified
I love it.
andrew santino
It's beautiful.
unidentified
It is.
andrew santino
And I see people with these huge cases, like, it's an OtterBox in case I fucking throw it off a cliff.
Why am I throwing my phone off a fucking cliff?
joe rogan
Why are you throwing your phone off a cliff?
andrew santino
But also, what?
jamie vernon
I'm sorry, I got Tommy Knockers coming in.
andrew santino
But also, by the way...
joe rogan
We're all stone folks.
unidentified
Yeah.
andrew santino
But also, I think about it in the sense of, I know this sounds privileged, fine, but I have AppleCare, which isn't that expensive.
joe rogan
How dare you?
andrew santino
If I fucking break it, I just get one!
It's like 20 bucks!
What the fuck?
joe rogan
You're a monster.
andrew santino
Take that fuck.
joe rogan
Oh, he broke it!
unidentified
Jesus!
andrew santino
I don't give a fuck, Joe Rogan!
joe rogan
You don't give a fuck.
What does Tommy Knockers mean?
jamie vernon
It's based off of knockers who would have been miners trapped in a cave and would have been pounding on rocks to get rescued.
In his book, it's the aliens underground who are knocking on rocks.
joe rogan
Oh, shit.
I don't remember the exact premise.
I knew they were doing something that was changing the people.
They made a really kind of funky movie.
It wasn't like the best movie.
andrew santino
It wasn't a good film.
joe rogan
It's hard to make his fucking...
Was it for TV? It was a miniseries for TV. How many episodes?
jamie vernon
I think four or five.
joe rogan
It's one of those ones where you almost got to imagine it in your head.
And that's an asshole thing to say.
I used to have a joke about Game of Thrones.
People say, it's booked better.
I'm like, how is that possible?
You're watching real dragons and people fucking and then sword fighting.
andrew santino
It's impossible.
joe rogan
And you're going to tell me that...
Two episodes?
So two hours?
That movie, if you wanted to really figure out what the book is, it would have to be hours and hours and hours.
That book was nuanced.
The book got into psychology.
What was the other one where the dudes were in the woods and some alien crawled inside that guy's asshole and killed him?
Which one was that one?
jamie vernon
The Stephen King book?
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Family reunion?
joe rogan
No, there was like some alien thing.
andrew santino
It crawled in his ass and killed him?
joe rogan
Yeah, it would take over these people.
It would take over these people.
It was in the guy's toilet.
You know who it was?
It was the guy who was in that HBO series, Homeland.
andrew santino
Oh, oh.
Mandy Patinkin?
joe rogan
No, it was the guy who was captured.
Remember?
He was captured and he was turned over.
The red-headed dude.
andrew santino
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, that guy.
andrew santino
What the fuck is that guy's name?
joe rogan
What the fuck's that guy's name?
jamie vernon
I know what you're talking about, but this is a newer movie?
joe rogan
We can figure this out.
We're going to get to the bottom of this.
Well, first of all, that guy, find out the TV show Homeland First Season, and then you'll find the guy's name.
jamie vernon
He's on Billions now.
joe rogan
Billions, that's right, that guy.
That guy's an awesome actor.
You know that guy has an English accent?
andrew santino
Yeah, he does.
joe rogan
Isn't that crazy?
andrew santino
I know that.
joe rogan
As good as he is?
At being an American?
That's creepy.
andrew santino
Well, it's kind of like, what's his name?
joe rogan
The Walking Dead guy.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, same guy.
I mean, same thing.
jamie vernon
I'm getting there, hold on.
joe rogan
How are you doing, Jamie?
andrew santino
Wait, wait.
jamie vernon
Also, Damien Lewis.
andrew santino
Damien Lewis.
joe rogan
Okay.
Go to Damien Lewis' IMDB. And there was a movie that he did a few years back that was a good fucking movie.
It was a Stephen King movie.
jamie vernon
I wasn't the right one.
I just never heard of it.
It's called Dreamcatcher.
andrew santino
Dreamcatcher.
joe rogan
That's it.
I was thinking white trash.
That's why I was thinking white trash.
I was like, white trash, white trash, trailer trash, dream catcher!
andrew santino
Same kind of thing, though.
White trash loves dream catchers.
joe rogan
That is the barbed wire around the bicep tattoo of the house accoutrements.
A dream catcher?
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
andrew santino
Why do people love...
unidentified
People love...
andrew santino
Whenever you see someone had one, you're like, dude, fuck, man.
Bummer.
unidentified
Bummer.
joe rogan
When my kids were five, they liked it.
andrew santino
Yeah.
Where's your puka shells?
When your child just learns about the world.
joe rogan
It's just not a good piece of art.
I'm sorry.
andrew santino
Adults think it's wonderful.
joe rogan
The best dream catcher sucks.
andrew santino
Yeah.
unidentified
Right?
andrew santino
You notice everyone that has a dream catcher hasn't caught one dream yet?
They're fucking...
joe rogan
Dude, it's true.
It's a dream thief.
It steals dreams.
unidentified
It's a dream thief.
andrew santino
Yeah, it catches them, but you don't fucking get them, dummy.
joe rogan
If you were in a girl's house, imagine if you were single, and after all this conversation, the girl you dreams, she's got a goddamn dream catcher over the bed, and you're like, fuck.
andrew santino
She's perfect in every single way.
joe rogan
Every other way.
But she believes in astrology, and she has a dream catcher.
It was so right.
It was exactly who I am.
It said I was smart and creative and gifted and that I'm beyond generous to my friends, which is totally true.
andrew santino
She wants you to rub, what is it, crystals or gems in your hand before you fuck?
She's like, can you roll these in your wrists before we get...
joe rogan
No, they will match your intentions.
andrew santino
They'll change colors if you're really your true self.
joe rogan
Be me, I'll be you.
andrew santino
Bro, how often when somebody goes, what's your astrological sign?
I'm always like, oh, get the fuck away from me.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I am a Leo, and Leos are supposed to be kind of douchey in a little bit of a way.
andrew santino
Oh, well.
joe rogan
They're very aggressive.
What does it all mean?
Aren't Leos supposed to be confident or something like that?
andrew santino
I think it's all bullshit.
I'm a Libra.
Does that mean I'm like every fucking guy born in October?
joe rogan
That's absurd.
unidentified
Yes, you are.
joe rogan
You should all get together and form a fucking club.
October buds.
And then you would get banned from Facebook for being racist.
andrew santino
Libra boys.
It'd be all white guys.
joe rogan
It'd be like the new Proud Boys.
It's the Libra Boys.
andrew santino
By the way, I can't wait for Sober October for me to keep drinking.
I want to come on the show and have a drink just to watch you guys battle nonsense.
joe rogan
I don't know what we're going to do.
andrew santino
Whatever you do, I'm still not going to be sober.
It's my birthday month.
I can't fuck with that shit.
joe rogan
Well, the real problem is the time commitment.
I have podcasts that are booked all the way up to then.
And I know there's going to be a lot of shit I have to do.
Yeah.
I can't dedicate too much time.
I can't do what I did last year.
andrew santino
Let's do the Snickers challenge.
I think that's the best way to do it.
unidentified
Ooh.
andrew santino
Let's do it.
unidentified
Let's do it.
andrew santino
What if you do a different kind of challenge?
I know, but what about a different kind of challenge?
joe rogan
I would tap out first.
I'm like, you guys keep your fucking shitty headaches.
I'm going to go have a salad.
andrew santino
We're going to just do a deep fake.
Someone's going to do a deep fake of Joe eating Snickers.
Just fucking making him phony.
I've been doing it.
joe rogan
That was the other thing.
We had an idea of who could read the most books, the most pages.
unidentified
But the problem with that is Bert would go, read it, read it, read it, read it.
joe rogan
He'd just pound through all the pages.
Number one, yes!
andrew santino
He can't read.
joe rogan
But he'll lie.
Look, I asked him if he could do the split.
He goes, yeah!
Can you do the split?
I go, I can do the split.
He goes, do it!
So I did this basically.
I was like an inch off the ground.
And he's like, oh, you can really do it?
So he went to do it.
He's like, he couldn't do it at all.
He's not even remotely flexible.
It's not like there was a time in his life where he could do the split.
But here he is, 44 years old, faking he could do the splits.
I'm like, what are you doing, Bert?
Why would you lie about that?
andrew santino
He might seem like a guy that could do the splits.
For a guy that's been sitting on dick for that many years, I figured he could do the splits.
You know what I mean?
For bouncing on so much cock, I'm surprised Bert doesn't do the splits.
joe rogan
He's just a funny dude.
You can tell he can do the splits.
I can't let that happen.
andrew santino
No, fuck that.
joe rogan
Can't let that happen.
andrew santino
Well, I want to be invited so I can sit with Jamie and have a drink and get high while you guys do sober shit.
joe rogan
It has to be some sort of a legitimate test.
It just can't be too involved.
I can't do it anymore.
andrew santino
Yeah, get me and Jamie in one of those bubbles so we can just get high and drunk and roll over.
Yeah, give me the bubbles, bitch.
joe rogan
This is the new feature of the Joe Rogan experience.
unidentified
I know, I love this shit.
joe rogan
It's the bubble machine.
First featured on the Duncan Trussell podcast, number 1313. It was Duncan's request that he be on that spiritual number.
Spiritual numbers are really important.
jamie vernon
It's really spreading around.
joe rogan
Have you ever used acupuncture?
andrew santino
I have.
I love it.
joe rogan
Is it legit?
andrew santino
It's legit as fuck.
I love it.
unidentified
Interesting.
andrew santino
It's wonderful.
joe rogan
They say it's legit.
andrew santino
You've never done it?
joe rogan
No.
andrew santino
Fuck, you would love it.
joe rogan
Yeah, I did do it once, but I did it with a dude who did some...
He just was a little weird.
He wanted you to drink certain herbs and shit, and he couldn't tell you why.
andrew santino
I just went to a fucking dope acupuncturist and got it done, and it's great.
My face fucked me up.
My face was getting fucking me up.
unidentified
Ooh.
andrew santino
That scared me.
Maybe they put it in your face?
jamie vernon
All over your face?
joe rogan
Yeah, a little time.
Everywhere?
andrew santino
No, no.
In your sinuses.
unidentified
How about your eyes?
andrew santino
Boop, boop, like in your sinuses and shit.
joe rogan
If they could fix your eyes.
If you could make your eyes per- What's wrong with my fucking eyes?
20-20 vision.
Maybe it was slipping.
andrew santino
I'm 19-20, I think.
joe rogan
What if it got to like 40-40?
50-50.
andrew santino
Sick.
Then I can see shit through three feet of ice.
joe rogan
Is it the opposite or the other way?
What is it like?
No.
8-8 is like the most insane vision ever.
andrew santino
Is it?
jamie vernon
The smaller number at a second is the better vision.
joe rogan
Yeah, so I'm saying 50-50, bro.
You'd be blind as fuck.
andrew santino
I'm 50-50.
joe rogan
But they can fix it, but you've got to keep your eyes open, like that movie Clockwork Orange.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Prop your eyes open and just puncture the shit out of your eyeballs.
So you're looking up.
I see these spears coming out of your eyeballs.
andrew santino
Dude, there's people that get tattoos on their fucking eyes.
Have you seen that shit?
They get them on the whites of their eyes.
joe rogan
You did a bad thing.
andrew santino
Bad person.
Dumb person.
Tattoo your fucking eyeballs, dude.
joe rogan
I see someone like that.
I imagine being that guy's dad.
andrew santino
Imagine being his friend.
joe rogan
But his dad.
Like, you raised a boy.
And whatever happened, whether it is a chemical imbalance or whatever happened, what happened?
Was it abuse?
I don't know what happened.
andrew santino
Well, for sure, something.
joe rogan
Something happened.
andrew santino
Parent, people are fucked.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
That guy...
In San Diego, I was telling you about it.
A man threw sandals at me this weekend at my show.
joe rogan
Yeah, what happened?
andrew santino
I called him Sandal Steve.
There's two embarrassing parts of this story.
For this man, the Sunday show was fucking phenomenal in San Diego.
It was so fucking dope.
We sold out the weekend.
And then Sunday show was incredible.
Everyone's having a good time.
I'm joking around at the end of my show, very end, about...
People in San Diego think wearing sandals with jeans is appropriate.
I was like, that's just, that's San Diego.
It's like button down, but I have sandals on.
It's like, douchebags fucking have their toes out, but wear like pants.
And some guys are like, hey!
I'm like, let me guess, you're wearing jeans with sandals?
And he brings up a sandal.
And I'm like, alright, sandal Steve.
Sandal Steve's everybody.
And he goes, my name is Steve!
And I was like, this fucking guy.
joe rogan
Did you record this set?
andrew santino
No, and I fucking wish I could.
That was the only one I didn't fucking record.
joe rogan
Of course, that's the universe.
andrew santino
Of course.
So, I turn to the left, and this dude throws a fucking...
I see it out of the corner of my eye.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
andrew santino
But when the sandal hit the curtain...
Actually, in La Jolla, they have the old comedy store sign.
Do you know that?
They brought that down, the old neon.
Yeah, they have the old neon now.
It hit the neon, and I was like, dude, what the fuck was that shit?
And it kind of, you know when something doesn't register?
Because I was like, no way.
joe rogan
What if he broke the neon?
andrew santino
Dude, bro, murder.
So I turn, and then as I'm turning, another sandal gets tossed on stage.
Not thrown, but like tossed.
And...
I immediately, I was like, wait, what the fuck?
And he's going like this, hey, bro!
And the staff is coming up and grabbing this fucking moron.
And two dudes are standing up in the audience, ready to swing.
People were like, it was a commotion.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And he goes, I'm just kidding around, we're kidding around.
And they were like, get the fuck out, dude.
And he goes, come on, man, I'm a big fan.
I go, dude, get the fuck out.
You can't throw Get the fuck out of here!
So they remove the dude, but the best part, or the most unfortunate part is, it's his daughter's 21st birthday.
And she's a big fan.
Right?
Your shithead dad threw sandals at your fucking door.
So of course, if she's listening...
I love you.
Thanks for being a fan.
Sorry your dad is a fucking moron and threw his sandals at us because that's how you get kicked out.
joe rogan
That's sad.
andrew santino
Dude, he threw them at my fucking head.
It missed my head by like a foot.
And he thinks, I'm just kidding around.
Like, no, dude, it's not funny.
You can't throw sandals at people.
You can't throw shit at people.
joe rogan
No, you can't throw shit at people.
andrew santino
And the poor girl, man.
I've never seen someone so embarrassed.
She was getting her purse and shit, and she's like, wavering through the crowd.
And the son is like, can I get back his sandals?
And I was like, get the fuck out of here.
joe rogan
It doesn't usually happen.
It's rare.
andrew santino
You gotta do some dumb shit.
joe rogan
It does happen.
andrew santino
Hey, man.
joe rogan
This guy got kicked out at the improv.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He was heckling everybody.
And then when I got on stage, I mean, he was just so loud.
And they just grabbed him.
And I go, dude, you gotta shut the fuck up, man.
What are you doing?
andrew santino
What are you doing?
joe rogan
This is ridiculous.
You know you're interrupting.
And they just grabbed him.
And the lady who was in front of him, who's his girlfriend, they're kicking him out.
They go, sir, you're gonna leave.
She looks at me and she goes, did you do this?
I go, did I do that?
andrew santino
No, bitch.
joe rogan
I go, this is your fucking problem.
This is your life in a nutshell.
You were here with him.
You saw what happened.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
You saw me tell the guy, what the fuck are you doing, man?
Then you saw the staff kick him out.
Then you asked me, did I do this?
But you know I didn't do this.
andrew santino
You did this, Joe.
No, you did this.
joe rogan
But imagine the kind of enabling where you're right next to the guy who's yelling out stupid shit, interrupting the show.
You're watching the staff come over.
You're watching this guy get kicked out and she looks at me like, did you do this?
Did I do this?
You gotta get your life in order!
andrew santino
Lady, hey, clean your room.
joe rogan
Clean your room, bitch.
andrew santino
Clean your fucking room, bitch.
That's your problem.
joe rogan
It was so crazy.
I was like, you saw.
You were here with me.
The crowd was going apeshit.
andrew santino
But they think it's your fault.
Those two people.
joe rogan
She thought it was my fault.
Everybody else thought it was hilarious.
andrew santino
The rest of the crowd is so angry at them.
joe rogan
Because it's so indicative of what we know to be true about certain people.
There are certain people that blame everyone else except themselves.
andrew santino
Totally.
joe rogan
Always.
Totally.
When you're watching a guy who says, she's like, he loves you.
I was like, well, he's ruining the fucking show.
Like, you just don't come to a show if you can't keep your fucking, your Tourette's in check.
You just want to scream shit out and just be acknowledged.
It's crazy.
You're ruining the whole show.
andrew santino
This sounds fake.
The same show, the Sunday show, we were joking around how crazy it was, in the middle of a setup.
I'm about to tell a fucking setup, and a guy goes, Santino, what's your favorite thing about San Diego?
And I was like, what?
What?
And he goes, I'll just...
And everybody goes, boo!
I mean, everyone's lighting him up, because they were like, is this...
Some people get so excited sometimes, and I don't...
I love...
The dude was a nice dude who was just like, bro...
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
You've got to know the rules of the thing.
You can't just do it.
joe rogan
He's been out by the beach too much.
Too much, bro.
There's those guys that it's too much salt air and too much sun, and they're cooked.
They're like a slow...
You know how if you're going to smoke a piece of fish, if you put your hand in there, it doesn't even seem like you would do anything.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
You seem like you'd be fine.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
You live there forever.
But you can't.
After like four or five hours, you become a smoked piece of fish, right?
That's what happens to those dudes' brains.
andrew santino
Smoked fish.
joe rogan
A certain amount of those guys' brains that are always by the beach, they don't drink enough water, they just get old and leathery.
andrew santino
Right.
Oh, the leather thing is gross.
joe rogan
Their brain's leathery.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
When you see them on the outside, they look leathery.
Their brain looks like that too, man.
I mean, I'm not a doctor.
andrew santino
They're smoked.
joe rogan
They're smoked.
andrew santino
And they come to the show they're slowly smoked - by the way about so many I had a bunch of Mexican fans I love my Mexican fans cut showed up in San Diego and all these dudes after the show were like you want us to fuck that dude up dog The fucking sandal dude.
I was like hey man.
joe rogan
I'm not gonna you do whatever you want to do Not right now Don't ask Mexicans to beat up white people right now.
It's a bad time.
andrew santino
I'm imploring all Mexicans to beat up Mexicans.
joe rogan
All this wall talk, they'll throw in a few extra shots.
andrew santino
Mexicans should beat up everybody.
Beat up everybody, Mexicans.
That's Andrew Santino saying that.
joe rogan
They might have my favorite food.
I've been thinking about this.
I think...
unidentified
Mexican's the best.
joe rogan
Not my favorite food...
Here's the thing.
Honestly.
It really varies.
Like sometimes my favorite food is steak.
Sometimes my favorite food is Italian.
But my favorite food, when I know I probably shouldn't be eating it, but I want to eat it anyway...
It's like a lengua quesadilla from a real Mexican joint.
Like that place I've taken you guys to.
There's a joint in the valley.
You go there, they have Mexican soap operas on TV. Those girls with the big tits and the red dresses.
Always, right?
And everyone in there is like locals.
They're like a bunch of dudes who are getting off work.
It's like a...
Real small, hole-in-the-wall type place.
Everyone speaks Spanish.
100%.
Everything's written in Spanish.
The food is off the fucking charts, dude.
It's off the charts.
You get lengua quesadilla, bro, with the spicy sauce.
andrew santino
What kind of meat is in there?
joe rogan
Lengua.
Tongue.
andrew santino
Lengua tongue.
Yeah, beef tongue.
It's beef tongue.
joe rogan
It's sensational.
Dude, it's so good.
andrew santino
I'm going.
joe rogan
Get one of those.
They have all kinds of tacos.
Oh, my God.
andrew santino
What's your death row meal, then?
Is Mexican in your death row meal?
joe rogan
I'm not eating before I go.
Fuck all that bullshit.
Really?
Yeah, if you're going to kill me, you want me to have a good time eating lobster first?
Fuck you.
andrew santino
I'm eating death row meal for sure.
jamie vernon
I'm not eating shit.
andrew santino
I'm eating all of that shit.
joe rogan
I'm just thinking of trying to take one guy out when he tries to get me from the jail.
That's all my concentration is on.
Come get me, bitch.
andrew santino
I'm eating.
joe rogan
If you're going to kill me, come on, man.
I'm not eating a lobster.
andrew santino
Well, I'm not going to eat a fucking lobster.
joe rogan
I'm trying to figure out a way to kill you.
andrew santino
If they're trying to kill you, you're trying to figure out a way to kill them?
joe rogan
I'm taking somebody.
andrew santino
Just one guard gets murdered.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Yeah, that's a good way out.
I'll fuck up one guard.
joe rogan
Don't you think you would be thinking that way?
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
Unless you did something horrific and you want to die and you know you're terrible.
But what if you were wrongfully accused?
If I'm wrongfully accused and I'm on death row, I'm trying to kill somebody.
andrew santino
Or you kill yourself when they get to you.
joe rogan
Yeah, but how do you?
It's so hard in jail.
They make it real hard.
They keep things from you that you could kill yourself with, which is horrific.
andrew santino
Yeah, they put you in just a room.
joe rogan
Because the problem is you could kill somebody else with it, right?
They left some wire with fucking handles on it.
You're not going to turn that in, right?
That's going to get passed around.
Some dudes are going to die.
andrew santino
Yeah, but I do think, though, if death row's coming up on you, you're thinking a lot differently.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
You're not thinking about killing the guards.
You're thinking about fucking...
joe rogan
What?
andrew santino
Please, God.
People find God when they're about to die.
joe rogan
You do.
But the way to avoid those horrific thoughts is to plan a murder.
unidentified
Ha!
joe rogan
Just think, like, how fast can I get to one of these guys before they can pile up on me?
andrew santino
Think about what it would take, though, to get to that place when you're like...
joe rogan
That's it.
andrew santino
I'm going to have to fucking just kill everyone I see.
unidentified
Jesus.
andrew santino
Because I'm done.
joe rogan
That's always the appeal of a show like The Punisher.
Like the comic book.
They always did a shit job with that fucking comic book.
I mean, I heard The Punisher on Netflix was good.
I didn't see that.
andrew santino
I didn't watch it.
joe rogan
But the movies, they had a Dolph Lundgren movie.
He didn't even have real stubble.
It's the dumbest shit of all time.
Because, by the way, this is before HD. They faked his weird?
They faked his stubble.
And obviously fake!
unidentified
Ah!
andrew santino
VSB! Was it Coffee Grounds?
joe rogan
It looked so bad.
It looked like a bad stipple.
Like they took a wet sponge and dipped it in some dirt and rubbed it on his face and they pretended that it was a 5 o'clock shadow.
I mean, whoever the fucking makeup artist was, they should have got the fucking Academy Award for parody.
andrew santino
Worst shit ever!
joe rogan
But it's almost like they made it a comedy.
It's almost like they know this movie's a piece of shit, and they are going to make the makeup so bad and so dumb looking.
Hey, that's us.
andrew santino
That's us, dude.
joe rogan
They're going to make the makeup looking so dumb that nobody believes it's real.
Close it up on it.
andrew santino
God, look how young he is there, Dolph.
jamie vernon
I think it's not clear.
joe rogan
It's not clear.
andrew santino
Well, that's why, because it's not in HD, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah, well, it...
Goddamn.
Dude, it looks so fake.
It's hard to tell.
andrew santino
No, but you can see.
joe rogan
If you watch the actual movie, did you Google Dolph Lundgren fake stubble?
jamie vernon
Not Punisher.
I just did Punisher just so we could see pictures from it.
I didn't want to have anything doctored.
joe rogan
Okay, just write Dolph Lundgren Punisher fake stubble.
Just try that.
Fake stubble.
andrew santino
Can we have that?
joe rogan
Maybe nobody noticed this but me.
andrew santino
Do we have that Mike special anymore?
Where is that?
joe rogan
Where is it?
Oh, the Mike Tyson special?
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
There was a close-up.
I remember there was a close-up.
He was lying down.
I was like, this is so fake.
andrew santino
Well, I mean, right there you can tell.
That looks like shit.
joe rogan
It's hard to tell.
I remember watching on TV going, what?
What is this?
andrew santino
That looks bad.
Oh, right there.
There you go.
joe rogan
Perfect.
It's smudge.
jamie vernon
Stringy sideburns coming down.
andrew santino
Yeah.
jamie vernon
He just dusted his face with some dirt, it looks like.
joe rogan
Exactly!
andrew santino
You know what that's like when a kid in junior high is trying to get facial hair for the first time?
joe rogan
He's got a stiver.
Accentuates it.
I've been thinking of rocking a police mustache.
andrew santino
Fuck you, no way.
jamie vernon
Really?
andrew santino
You've got to get a bushy one, though.
It's got to be bushy.
You've got to get real bushy.
joe rogan
How about one like Mike Beltran when I roll up the fucking, the hairs grow long?
andrew santino
You've got to get like Wolford Brimley.
joe rogan
You know who Mike Beltran is?
You know who I'm talking about?
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
He's one of the top MMA referees.
andrew santino
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I've seen that dude.
joe rogan
His mustache comes down like this, like Cinderella's hair.
andrew santino
Yeah, he's got like a, yeah, handlebars, handlebars.
joe rogan
Big old jacked dude, too, with crazy ass mustache.
andrew santino
You wouldn't fucking do a mustache.
joe rogan
Maybe I'll do one like that.
There's Mike Beltran, look at that shit.
You have to grow that mustache for decades.
How long does it take to grow a mustache like that?
andrew santino
Forever, but braiding it kind of, I mean, dude, come on.
jamie vernon
Would you get an extension added to it so you could skip some time?
joe rogan
That's bullshit, I wouldn't lie like that.
I'd wear last extensions.
andrew santino
Your fucking mustache weave?
joe rogan
Yeah, maybe someone's done that.
I would imagine.
Maybe for a movie or something like that.
jamie vernon
Oh, it's right over here.
andrew santino
The mustache weave?
joe rogan
It's a look, right?
But at a certain point in time, I would imagine you become a prisoner to that look.
andrew santino
Yeah, that's who you are then forever.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Like, I've had a beard for as long as I can remember, and so now if I shave it, I'm fucked.
I can't shave this.
joe rogan
Are you worried about it?
andrew santino
It's kind of strange that I can never get away from it now.
This is it.
joe rogan
I didn't think about it until you brought it up.
andrew santino
You've never seen me without a beard, right?
jamie vernon
Who's this cat?
I remember playing in a band with this guy, and I'm pretty sure part of this is fake.
andrew santino
You played in a band with this guy?
jamie vernon
Yes.
joe rogan
Hey, throwing him under the bus?
jamie vernon
Not in his band, but my band played with them.
We opened up for this as a singer for Mudvayne.
Part of it is not real, but part of it is real.
He does have a really long one, but I remember seeing it up close, and it was like a rope or something.
joe rogan
God damn, it's crazy how long you can grow a fucking beard.
unidentified
Yeah, that's absurd.
joe rogan
Why do you think that exists?
Like, why does hair on the head grow so long?
Why does hair on the face grow to those lengths?
It doesn't seem like it'd be useful.
andrew santino
Well, why would nature do that?
Yeah.
Why would we need it?
joe rogan
Because, like, arm hair doesn't grow that long.
andrew santino
It doesn't need to anymore.
joe rogan
Right, but why does beard hair grow long and arm hair stops?
andrew santino
Well, I think it's probably because...
joe rogan
Isn't that weird, though?
andrew santino
Well, that's like, you know the crown of the head hair?
You know this head hair here?
Yes.
Like, this will never, ever fall out.
It's genetically, biologically...
The hairs will never fall out on this crown.
That's right.
When you see someone...
Anybody that says completely bald is still here, we'll have hair.
joe rogan
I'm right here.
andrew santino
You have to have hair right here, though, forever.
joe rogan
That is weird, but what I don't understand is why can the hair on your head grow so long and the hair on your beard grow so long, but your arm hair and leg hair is always the same length.
But your pubes can get rather unruly.
andrew santino
Jamie, start to trim, you fucking filthy cunt.
joe rogan
Your pubes can get out of control.
andrew santino
Your pubes get out of control, Jamie.
joe rogan
Can I say atrocious?
andrew santino
Atrocious.
They get fucking repulsive.
jamie vernon
It's also a different kind of hair.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Cube hair is weird.
andrew santino
Yes, yes.
It's angry.
Yeah, angry.
joe rogan
It's like protective hair.
unidentified
Cut somebody with it.
joe rogan
It's like, you know what it is?
andrew santino
It protects you from filthy pussy.
joe rogan
Imagine if there's a reason for it.
Is there a reason why pube hairs are so thick?
Google that.
andrew santino
What could that fucking be?
Why is it so weird?
joe rogan
I was thinking it's like the thick shield around a wild boar's face.
jamie vernon
Before thick comes up, why is it curly?
joe rogan
Why is it curly?
Yeah.
Imagine if it wasn't.
unidentified
Ugh!
andrew santino
Straight dick hair?
joe rogan
Imagine if he went down on a girl and her pussy hair was like a wig.
Like, what is this?
All stringy and crazy.
andrew santino
She has it parted.
joe rogan
You're like, what is happening here?
andrew santino
A left hair parted pussy?
joe rogan
It's braided like my Beltran's beard.
unidentified
Stupid.
jamie vernon
There's this dumb picture that used to describe this.
It says that it helps prevent friction, both being coarser and thicker and curly and all that.
joe rogan
Listen, not the way I fuck.
andrew santino
What does that even mean, friction?
joe rogan
If you're trying to start a fire.
jamie vernon
Skin on skin, so you don't get a skin.
andrew santino
Yeah, but how much hair is on your cock?
jamie vernon
Both hairs.
It's like rubbing Velcro against each other, I suppose.
andrew santino
That's funny.
joe rogan
It just sticks.
If you were on meth and Viagra and you were in the desert, do you think you'd start a fire?
Do you fuck so hard you could start a fire?
andrew santino
Oh, no.
joe rogan
No water in the air.
andrew santino
Yeah, you're starting a fire.
If you're rubbing hard enough.
joe rogan
You're on meth and fucking listen to Slayer.
unidentified
Woo!
I think that's better than the stick rolling.
joe rogan
How about the fiddle?
You ever do the fiddle?
andrew santino
Yeah, the bow.
joe rogan
The bow way.
Have you ever started a fire like that?
andrew santino
I've had to try at a camp, at a summer camp.
We had to do this one, we had to do a bow one, and then we had to do...
joe rogan
The wiggle one with your fingers is ridiculous.
andrew santino
What's this one?
The Flint one.
Yeah, Flint Snapping.
joe rogan
That's the much more likely one.
andrew santino
Yeah, that happens.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
But this shit, this bullshit, is so fucking hard.
joe rogan
It's hard.
andrew santino
So hard.
joe rogan
I got to the point where it was burnt.
Like it was black.
Like it looked like- But it wouldn't catch.
I smelled it.
I was pretty close.
I think when I did it, I don't know when I did it, but I'm pretty sure I was like pre-teens.
andrew santino
Yeah, when you first start those things?
joe rogan
I think I was Boy Scouts when I was doing that.
andrew santino
You did Boy Scouts?
joe rogan
I did Boy Scouts.
andrew santino
For how long?
joe rogan
One year.
andrew santino
How long did you do Boy Scouts?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
andrew santino
How long?
You seem like a long time.
jamie vernon
Four.
andrew santino
Yeah.
jamie vernon
I didn't make it to WeBlow or whatever that level.
andrew santino
You weren't strong enough, huh?
jamie vernon
It was boring, bro.
joe rogan
Dude, I got fucking kidnapped almost by these criminals.
These little kids.
I went to Boy Scouts in Jamaica Plain, Boston.
Jamaica Plain is like a suburb of Boston.
Not really a suburb.
It's part of the city.
andrew santino
Isn't there one in New York, too?
Jamaica Plain?
joe rogan
Jamaica, Queens.
andrew santino
Jamaica, Queens.
That's right.
joe rogan
Jamaica Plain in Boston is more gentrified now.
The white people are spreading out.
And there was white people there when I lived there, too.
But they were like...
Angry Irish people who will punch you in the face.
I wasn't used to being around people like that.
I lived in San Francisco and then I lived in Florida.
And then all of a sudden I lived with these, like, really wild people, man.
What was my point?
What were we just talking about that led me to this?
andrew santino
Huh, about Jamaica?
What?
About what?
joe rogan
Right before that.
andrew santino
About why you're talking about the angry Boston people?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What was it?
I know you just asked me a question, too.
jamie vernon
I can't remember what it was I answered.
joe rogan
I had a point.
I had a significant point.
I completely lost it.
So we were talking about angry people...
jamie vernon
Fire.
Building a fire.
andrew santino
Yeah, building a fire.
And Boy Scouts.
joe rogan
Oh, Boy Scouts.
That's what it was.
So I went to camp with these fucking kids that lived in this really tough neighborhood.
And there was a lot of Puerto Rican kids, and a lot of Italian kids, and there was Irish kids.
It was all ethnicities, but it was basically like low-income people.
And it was the first time I was ever around kids that were legitimately dangerous.
When I lived in Florida, we were around like...
Alligators and shit.
We used to go into the swamps.
We'd find snapping turtles.
I lived there for a couple years.
But it didn't seem dangerous in terms of the kids that I was interacting with.
Then all of a sudden I was in Jamaica playing and they were dangerous kids.
andrew santino
Tough ass kids.
joe rogan
They were tough ass kids.
And I didn't know...
I'd never had sex.
And I didn't know what way a penis goes in.
I didn't know it goes up.
I didn't even consider it.
But this kid, his name was Pauly Hudson.
He lived right next to me.
He shamed me.
He goes, you probably don't even know that a dick goes up in a pussy.
andrew santino
Fuck, he's right.
joe rogan
I was like, he does?
I was 11. I was like, really?
I was trying to figure out how that would work.
I was like, I guess I wasn't 11. I was 13. 13 was when I lived in Boston.
But I was like, what?
Okay.
It goes up?
Wow!
You could have said that nicer!
You could have just said, did you know that it goes up?
Every other kid that I had ever encountered probably would have said, hey, did you know that when you have sex, it doesn't go straight in.
Because when you think about having sex, you would think your penis would go straight forward.
andrew santino
You think your dick goes like this?
joe rogan
You think it would go like that?
You'd never think you would go up.
You're like, oh, of course.
Why else would boners be like that?
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
It wouldn't make sense to do it.
You'd have to hold them down to get them into the proper position.
andrew santino
Okay, no.
joe rogan
Anyway, I went to fucking Boy Scout camp with these criminals.
Dude, the first night, they tied this kid up.
He was sleeping.
He was soundly asleep.
He was a little annoying, but either way, they tied this kid up on his bed.
He had a little cot, and they dragged him into the woods.
It was dark as fuck.
It was New Hampshire woods.
You don't see anything, man.
andrew santino
No lights.
joe rogan
There was no moon out.
So, I mean, you couldn't see your fucking hand in front of your face.
I had never experienced that before.
unidentified
Damn.
joe rogan
And I was 13. So, in all my life as a person, I had never been in a place where I couldn't see my hand.
And I was outside going, this is insane!
Because we were like, this Boy Scout camp was by a lake way the fuck up in New Hampshire.
And what do I say in her city?
Criminal kids.
So they take this fucking guy and they bring him out into the forest and they leave him there.
And then they came for me, man.
But I woke up and I was like, fuck you.
unidentified
Fuck you, guys.
I'll fuck you up.
joe rogan
And then they took this other guy.
I'm like, they left me alone.
I just did.
I gave up on all the activities.
I was awake.
When I heard that kid mumble and shit and I saw them carrying away, I was like, these guys are strapping this guy down to a cot.
unidentified
Fuck!
andrew santino
I don't remember.
joe rogan
They did something.
I do not remember.
But I remember the other kid, they put toothpaste all over his clothes.
Apparently when you put toothpaste, like toothpaste does not wash out good.
Especially in 19, whatever the fuck it was.
What was I, 13s?
So it's 1979, I think.
Say 80, 79, 80. 81, I was 14. Yeah, so it's that age.
80-ish.
And they're like, these little fucking crooks.
I was out in the woods with these kids.
And we had bows and arrows and.22 rifles.
You would hear ricochets, man.
We would be over by the lake.
Because me and this other kid, who was also this kid, we called him Onion.
We went by the lake.
I think it was him.
andrew santino
Is this a Theo Vaughn story?
unidentified
I might be wrong.
No, no.
joe rogan
This is a real story.
andrew santino
We called him Onion Man.
joe rogan
This was another kid who decided to skip out.
No one cared if you were engaging in all their activities.
No one cared.
Right.
Literally, I'm telling you, no one was watching us.
I was 13. We just grabbed fishing rods and we went where the lake was.
We knew where the lake was.
All these kids would get together and they're all doing archery and rifle practice.
You're hanging out there with a bobber in the water and you hear them You hear ricochets!
unidentified
You hear fucking ricochets!
joe rogan
They let these kids have guns!
unidentified
They let these fucking kids have.22s!
joe rogan
It's a weird noise.
When you think of a gun, you think of a boom!
But a.22 is like crack, crack!
It's like crack, crack!
It doesn't feel like it would hurt.
andrew santino
It sounds like a whip.
unidentified
Yeah!
joe rogan
It's not as threatening as the actual action of getting hit by a bullet.
andrew santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It will kill you.
andrew santino
It doesn't sound like what it is.
joe rogan
People kill people with.22s.
22 will fucking kill you.
But it just seemed, you know, like you can't be around these kids.
They were just all animals.
andrew santino
Were you happy that you did Boy Scouts or no?
Was it fun for you?
joe rogan
I did one year.
Nobody did anything to me.
Nobody molested me.
I feel like I got off light.
andrew santino
You got molested, Jamie.
joe rogan
I got out.
No, how dare you?
andrew santino
Four years.
jamie vernon
Catholic school, bro.
That's where that happened.
andrew santino
That was years later?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
andrew santino
You know what, though?
I always think about that.
You know, I went to Catholic school when I was a kid, kid, and then never again, and I never got molested.
I always think that maybe I wasn't cute enough or something like that.
unidentified
I just found out.
jamie vernon
Looking something up online, where I'm from in Columbus, some list just got released of a bunch of priests that have been either accused and found out that whatever happened, some are still alive, some aren't.
I looked through the list and found someone that was a priest at my school.
No!
Nobody I know said they've been touched or anything like that, but it blew all of our minds.
andrew santino
Fuck, that's gross.
That shit is fucking gross.
joe rogan
The thing is...
It's one of the weirdest things that you can just connect a thing that's a horrific act to a church.
Like, that's one thing that you just can do.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Catholic, church, Catholic, priest, pedophile.
You can just say that.
andrew santino
I mean...
joe rogan
That's peanut butter and jelly, bro.
andrew santino
Yeah, dude.
joe rogan
Right?
How crazy is it that the peanut butter to your jelly is fucking kids.
Can you imagine?
andrew santino
Yeah, and kids love peanut butter and jelly.
joe rogan
If you see a jar of jelly, you think, oh, if I had some peanut butter and some bread, I'd make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
You see a priest, you're like, oh.
andrew santino
That guy fucks kids.
joe rogan
He fucks kids.
andrew santino
Isn't that weird?
jamie vernon
That is crazy.
andrew santino
You'll never get away from that.
Just trying to teach the word of the Lord, man.
Sure you are, dude.
joe rogan
How crazy is that?
andrew santino
It'll go away at some point.
joe rogan
No, it will not.
No, it will not.
As long as you let those people keep doing what they're doing, it will not.
Yeah, it's just gross.
You know, the fucking Pope himself at one point?
That guy, that Ratzinger?
At one point in his life, he was involved in moving people around?
Dude, they said he was wanted for crimes against humanity.
andrew santino
That's so fucked.
joe rogan
There's a documentary that shows that he let these people go, let this one guy go, rather, and moved him to another parish where he molested 100 deaf kids.
andrew santino
Oh!
unidentified
Dude.
andrew santino
Jesus Christ!
That's so shit!
joe rogan
It's pure evil.
It's pure evil, and what's most fucked up about it, it's evil that's coming to people that are looking for God.
andrew santino
Yeah, gross.
joe rogan
Right?
That's why people get mad when you talk shit about the Catholic Church, because there's a lot of great people that are, Yeah, not everyone is a shithead.
No, the people that are actually going to the church are the good people.
andrew santino
Right, right, right, right.
joe rogan
And there's people that are good priests.
They do exist.
andrew santino
Yeah, not everyone's bad.
unidentified
But the number that are bad is insane.
joe rogan
The number's insane.
Did you ever see the documentary Hear New Evil?
Did I? Speak New Evil?
Is it Speak New Evil?
Which one's it?
It's on my iTunes.
I can pull it up.
andrew santino
Pull that shit up, baby.
unidentified
Yeah.
andrew santino
Pull that shit up.
joe rogan
But it's a horrific documentary.
andrew santino
Speak No Evil.
joe rogan
It's a horrific...
jamie vernon
Oh, Deliver Us From Evil.
joe rogan
Deliver Us From Evil.
God damn, we got three different titles.
Which one do you like better?
andrew santino
Deliver Us From Evil.
joe rogan
I think they nailed it.
I think they got it right.
It's a terrible documentary in terms of the way it makes you feel.
It's a very good documentary, but it makes you feel terrible.
andrew santino
That reminds me of...
Did you watch The Devil We Know?
joe rogan
Which one's that?
andrew santino
Did we talk about that?
Which one's that?
The Devil We Know is about 3M and Teflon.
unidentified
Oh.
andrew santino
Oh, do you not know about that shit?
joe rogan
No.
andrew santino
Oh, bro.
Watch.
Teflon is in 99.99% of the world's blood.
They had to go all the way back to the Korean War to find out Teflon not in someone's blood.
joe rogan
What?
andrew santino
Fact.
joe rogan
Teflon?
andrew santino
Teflon.
joe rogan
Like cooking ware?
andrew santino
The Devil We Know, bro.
Watch this fucking documentary.
joe rogan
Did you ever Google the Devil We Know debunked?
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
Me neither.
andrew santino
This?
joe rogan
But no, that's what I always do.
andrew santino
Oh, debunked?
unidentified
No.
andrew santino
Well, watch this shit.
It'll give you some insights heavy to what's really going on.
joe rogan
But even though I'm not doubting them, every time I look at anything like this now, I write debunked and I put it into Google.
andrew santino
Just to find out.
joe rogan
And I find out, is there any credible sources?
Sure.
And I don't necessarily automatically agree with them, but are there any credible sources that have any indications?
andrew santino
You're trying to find if there's a balance to it.
joe rogan
I've just said too many things that are not true.
andrew santino
Well, because...
jamie vernon
Nothing comes up when I type that in.
There's a story in the LA Times that comes up.
joe rogan
What does it say?
jamie vernon
Variety, the devil we know, review.
andrew santino
The LA Times says, "Should we be scared of Teflon?" On the Sundance documentary, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Dude, in this documentary, there's a farmer that lives down the road from where, and this is 40 years ago, 50 years ago, where 3M was making Teflon, right?
And he was complaining to them.
Well, the water source wasn't supposed to be polluted.
They lied.
They put their runoff in his water.
Cows had fucking, like, blue teeth and shit.
Their eyes would turn different colors.
Dude, he was like, he kept complaining, but they pushed him down, like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.
Until he went away, and then this documentary explores how other people have tried to tell his story, but no one gave a shit.
That Teflon was killing at such a rapid rate.
joe rogan
Before I forget this, hold that thought real quick.
Can you please Google, because I keep forgetting this, can you please Google that...
Water bottles in Target and other stores were found with arsenic.
andrew santino
No!
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Holy shit.
joe rogan
Levels of arsenic.
Unhealthy levels of arsenic.
andrew santino
Jamie, you're so good at one-hand typing, it's fucking absurd.
joe rogan
I'm a wizard.
jamie vernon
Bottle of water.
Pull that up.
Okay, yesterday.
News, yeah.
joe rogan
What does it say?
andrew santino
I can't type with two hands.
Jamie can type with five.
joe rogan
He types better than I do.
andrew santino
I'm like this.
I'm like searching Peck and shit.
joe rogan
Oh, these goddamn pop-up windows.
Hey, fuck off.
andrew santino
Get the fuck out of here.
joe rogan
NBC News.
unidentified
Don't be a dick.
andrew santino
Fuck out of here, NBC News.
joe rogan
What does it say, Jamie?
jamie vernon
I don't know.
joe rogan
Bottled water brand found to have high levels of arsenic pulled from stores.
andrew santino
What the fuck?
jamie vernon
Brand in particular.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
Here it is.
Penafiel bottled water.
Sold at Target and Walmart.
That's a fancy name.
Keurig.
andrew santino
Oh, right.
joe rogan
Dr. Pepper.
andrew santino
Yeah, because they merged, huh?
joe rogan
The brand said, Penafine, Penafil, unflavored mineral spring waters are involved in the market withdrawal.
They wrote a statement.
They're voluntarily pulling the product, which is sold at Target and Mama.
So, maybe, like, their manufacturer had some fucking weird shit in their water.
unidentified
I guess.
andrew santino
High levels of arsenic.
Long-term exposure to high levels of arsenic.
Drinking, increased risk for diabetes.
Sure.
High blood pressure.
joe rogan
Right, but they don't say, what's the level of arsenic in it?
andrew santino
What does high level mean?
How much is okay for us to have?
jamie vernon
They're allowed to have 10 parts per billion in there and it must have exceeded it.
joe rogan
Must have exceeded it.
How much is too much?
How much would you snort off someone's dick?
andrew santino
100 pounds per billion.
Free.
Zero parts per billion.
Just show me a dick, bro.
joe rogan
I mean, how much are you willing to snort if you tell me that it's not...
If you tell me arsenic's not bad for you, how much will you snort?
unidentified
I'll cut it up with B12. I snorted out my dick.
andrew santino
That's fucking insane, by the way, that they were selling shit that has arsenic.
joe rogan
Well, they didn't know.
I mean, it just looks like water.
That's the problem with water.
It looks like water.
You can get weird shit in water if you leave it in a hot car.
Do you know that?
andrew santino
Well, water bottles, yeah, they're really bad.
joe rogan
You buy a bottle of water, you don't know what the fuck happened to that bottle before you.
It's like an adopted dog.
Somebody could have been kicking that thing, leaving it out in the sun.
By the time you get it, man, who the fuck knows what's in there in terms of diseases?
You can legitimately have water bottles that leak PCBs.
They leak some sort of estrogen mimicking chemical.
andrew santino
Really?
unidentified
Yeah.
andrew santino
Did you see this shit with Justin Trudeau in the water bottle?
Did you see that today?
unidentified
What did he do?
joe rogan
Put it up his butt?
jamie vernon
It wasn't today, but yeah.
joe rogan
Did he put it up his butt?
andrew santino
I saw it today.
Did you see it earlier?
jamie vernon
Yeah, yeah.
andrew santino
Justin Trudeau was asked about how he and his family are doing a better job at not using plastics, and his response is so fucking awful.
He can't get it out.
He's like, well, we're using...
Listen to this fucking...
This made me laugh so hard.
unidentified
Plastics.
andrew santino
Wait, rewind it one more time.
jamie vernon
We have recently switched...
unidentified
You and your family do to cut back on plastics.
Yeah.
justin trudeau
We have recently switched to drinking water bottles out of, when we have water bottles, out of plastic, sorry, away from plastic towards paper.
unidentified
You're fired!
joe rogan
You're fired!
unidentified
No!
joe rogan
Listen to me!
I don't care how tired you are!
No!
Do you imagine if somebody asked me a question like that about my job?
Imagine if somebody said, hey, Joe, what do you think could be done to stop head trauma in MMA? And I'd be like, well, we could...
Conceivably, there's not much, but we could pad the elbows, we could pad the knees, we could...
I would have a thought!
I would've fucking thought that shit through.
He didn't think that shit through at all.
And he was also thinking about getting caught in a lie.
I have plastic everywhere.
I gotta get home.
Burn the plastic!
He called his wife on the limo on the way home.
andrew santino
Burn the plastic!
joe rogan
Burn it all!
They're coming for us!
andrew santino
All the plastic?
joe rogan
They go into the house.
There's not a fucking bottle in the house.
It's all plastic.
Everything's plastic.
andrew santino
No glass.
joe rogan
They throw away their forks with every meal.
They stick them in the fucking...
You stick them in a sea monkey cage and feed them to turtles.
Fuck you!
andrew santino
Jester Jones' house is made of plastic.
joe rogan
His whole house is plastic and everything.
You know what he does?
He collects those little things that six packs come with and he just chucks them in the ocean for a laugh.
unidentified
He goes to a lake and just puts a bunch of fucking duck killers out there.
joe rogan
That's what I heard.
Listen, if you find a male...
Justin Trudeau.
If you find a legit male feminist, let me talk to him, because I've never met one.
Every one of them I've ever met is a dude who's running a scam, right?
It's the same thing.
andrew santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love women.
joe rogan
I see these sweeties, these non-male sweeties.
I'm like, okay, you're trying too hard, man.
Something's wrong.
andrew santino
It's so obvious, man.
Someone wrote online this guy that was like...
I'll stand by every woman forever and know that.
joe rogan
That's so crazy to say.
andrew santino
What are you saying?
joe rogan
That guy's going to stalk you.
He's going to stalk you.
His words sound like a normal person's words, but you just have to have a deep vocabulary of crazy.
Those combination of words in that circumstance only exist from the mind of a crazy man.
andrew santino
Normal people don't fucking say that shit.
joe rogan
No!
Nope.
No, no, no, sir.
No.
It's super important to tell those guys no.
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
That's why this whole incel thing, you know about incels?
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
What to do, what to do.
What to do?
unidentified
What to do?
joe rogan
No one wants to fuck them.
What do you do?
andrew santino
What do you do?
unidentified
Get your shit together.
Okay?
joe rogan
I went through a six-month dry spell when I was 19. And the first time I had sex with a girl after that, I came immediately.
It was depressing.
I stuck in there.
I was like, yikes!
It was sad.
I smelled like desperation.
I had very little interaction with regular people.
All I was doing was doing martial arts and training.
I wasn't meeting any girls.
I was meeting zero girls.
And when I got together with the girls, I panicked.
andrew santino
You're just jerking off feverishly?
joe rogan
I don't remember.
andrew santino
Jerking off feverishly when I was that age.
joe rogan
I went through a really fucked up time when I was a young teenager where I thought that my desire for sex was a weakness.
Damn!
And that I should avoid it.
andrew santino
Who put that in your head?
What put that in your head?
unidentified
No one.
joe rogan
No one put that in my head.
I put it in my head because I was trying to figure out how to get better at martial arts.
andrew santino
Yeah, but something had to help that.
joe rogan
No, nothing helped that.
Negativity.
unidentified
Nothing?
joe rogan
Nothing helped that.
No, it was pleasure.
The desire for pleasure was a weakness.
andrew santino
Wow, what the fuck?
joe rogan
Dude, that's black.
No, it wasn't because it was recognizing that real pleasure, the only pleasure that I had gotten up to that point, was satisfaction in being good at competition.
So when I started being good at competition, I realized, okay, this is better than anything, so how do I get successful again?
Well, one thing you can't do is get wrapped up in anything stupid, and you have to stay mentally strong.
So why do you want pleasure?
I just want it.
unidentified
It feels so good.
joe rogan
I felt weak.
I felt like that was a weak thing to want.
andrew santino
That's a lot of good foresight because most kids at that age that are testosterone levels through the fucking roof are like, I want to get good at this thing, but also, oh my god, I want to fuck everything that walks.
joe rogan
It was also, it had to be flavored by the puritanical shit that I grew up with.
andrew santino
I was just going to say, there has to be some dark to that.
joe rogan
But not, I don't think so, man, because before that I was really into it.
Once I started fighting, it was also so dangerous that I was always worried about doing something wrong and getting hit.
And then maybe if I'd lived my life correctly, I wouldn't have gotten hit.
Because I saw a lot of guys get kicked in the face, man.
andrew santino
How many times have you been kicked in the head?
joe rogan
Oh, I have no idea.
I have zero idea.
A lot.
A bunch of times, for sure.
A bunch of times.
unidentified
Goddamn.
joe rogan
I don't know.
Never unconscious from that.
Never unconscious from anything.
I dropped from a punch in a fight.
I got TKO'd.
I got dropped.
He hit me in the jaw.
It didn't hurt, per se.
Sometimes you get hit in the body like a liver shot.
It fucking hurts so bad.
It doesn't matter if you're in the middle of a fight.
It hurts so bad.
But the jaw didn't hurt.
But my legs just stopped working.
They went, weep!
They just stopped.
They just shut off.
And they went out from under me.
It was crazy.
I don't think I'd ever had it happen that way before.
I'd definitely been dinged where I wobbled.
But I covered up and recovered.
I hadn't had that happen before.
But I never had it where my shit just shut off.
My legs just shut off, dude.
But I was still conscious.
And then I was trying to get up and I was on this fucking boingy.
They just didn't work.
And then he hit me a couple more times and I fell again.
The referee stopped the fight.
So that was the worst.
I'd ever been hit in the head.
andrew santino
You'd ever been knocked out from a kick?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
But I was always scared of it.
andrew santino
You've been knocked out though?
joe rogan
No.
Never been knocked out.
andrew santino
Never once?
joe rogan
No.
andrew santino
Shit.
joe rogan
No.
andrew santino
How many concussions do you have, do you think, on record?
joe rogan
I don't know.
andrew santino
I have three.
I think two.
joe rogan
One when I was a kid, I think I know I cracked my head 'cause I have a giant scar back there above my hair transplant scar, where I cracked my head on this cement sewer thing.
unidentified
Two?
joe rogan
There was like some crane, We were kids.
We were running past this thing and something happened.
I don't remember exactly what happened, but it involved falling and something slipping and something hitting me in the head.
And it hit me in the head pretty fucking hard.
I didn't go unconscious, but the whole world went like this.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
I remember saying to the doctor that I grayed out.
Like, I grayed out, but then I came back.
It was a big impact on my head.
So it was that time and then the time that I got TKO'd.
But then the other times in between, it was mostly just getting dinged.
When you just popped and your legs give out a little bit, then you cover up.
And then, you know, usually, like, it's in sparring, you'll stop.
And if it's in a fight, you get a, you know, either you fall down or you get a standing eight count, you know, depending on if you're boxing or kickboxing or whatever you're doing.
But in the gym, you just fight.
In the gym, guys get dinged and they go down and nobody does anything to stop it.
And you get back up and you're getting hit again.
Like, you really probably should stop the sparring.
But people are, you know, guys are fucking animals, man.
andrew santino
Animals.
joe rogan
Animals.
And in a boxing gym, when you're allowed to indulge in that sort of animal behavior, it gets encouraged, especially amongst really good guys.
andrew santino
Right.
I had my fucking knees taken out from under me.
That's why I had my first concussion.
joe rogan
Oh, you told me about that in basketball, right?
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
That sounds horrible.
andrew santino
Fell on my neck.
Fell on my fucking neck.
joe rogan
On a hardwood basketball floor.
andrew santino
And I remember vividly two moments.
One, people telling me to sit down because your natural reaction sometimes when you get knocked out like that to bounce off your head is to get back up, you know?
And I could, but I was unconsciously doing it.
And then I remember that, and then I remember the paramedics.
Asking me to lie down.
And I remember saying, I'm going to throw up.
And I did.
I threw up everywhere and passed out.
Then woke up in the hospital.
I fell on my fucking back.
And then in fucking junior high, I got popped so hard.
In football, I got hit so hard.
My dad was like, you got your bell rung.
joe rogan
I was listening to Bo Jackson.
He's on the Meat Eater podcast this week.
And he was saying he wouldn't have his kids play football.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Isn't that crazy?
andrew santino
That guy lived through hell.
joe rogan
He has a hilarious, crazy story of his life, but about getting the one time he got KO'd in a game, waking up and going to the wrong side.
And they say, hey, motherfucker, you're on the wrong side.
And then he goes over there and then he hears a gunshot and sees people running.
He's like, who got shot?
He goes, it's halftime.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
He thought he was playing the wrong team.
He has a hilarious story, but it's also kind of dark, man.
He's talking about how crazy he was in his childhood, too.
andrew santino
Did you see that documentary about him where he could shoot bow and arrow with his foot?
joe rogan
Can he really?
andrew santino
Did you not see that?
Show him that.
joe rogan
He was saying he got his shoulder replaced.
andrew santino
This motherfucker is an athlete to a degree that's creepy.
Dual sport athletes...
Everyone thinks they could.
Almost no one really can play both sports.
joe rogan
No, he was incredible.
andrew santino
He was unbelievably talented.
But yeah, there was a documentary.
He's living in the woods.
joe rogan
What was I talking about him with?
jamie vernon
It says he could shoot a bullseye from 100 yards away with his feet.
andrew santino
Thank you.
That's what I'm talking about.
jamie vernon
I don't know that there's a video of it.
andrew santino
They must have a photo or some shit up there.
On the documentary, he talks about it.
jamie vernon
Skip to the 69-minute mark of his 30 for 30. Yeah, it was a 30 for 30. What was I talking about him, though?
joe rogan
I had a point.
andrew santino
He was telling a great story to a meat eater.
joe rogan
What was it?
jamie vernon
Crazy Life got knocked out on the wrong side.
You're talking about concussions.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
About how he wouldn't have his kids play football.
andrew santino
Play sports, right.
That's what it was.
joe rogan
Football.
Just football.
andrew santino
Wow.
joe rogan
I'm like, wow.
andrew santino
I mean, dude, football is so dangerous, dude.
joe rogan
I lost it.
Yeah, it's insanely dangerous.
andrew santino
It's beautiful, but fuck me, it's dangerous.
I mean, it's so bad.
Well, it's the same thing they found in hockey.
The hits are harder than the fights.
People are scared about the fights.
The hits cause more concussions.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure.
andrew santino
By far.
joe rogan
Well, soccer players have problems with CTE. They get smoked.
And they call it non-concussive...
Brain trauma?
jamie vernon
The goalie that just won, like, Player of the Year, Robin Lerner is his name, I guess, he gave a really good speech about his mental health issues he's been dealing with.
And while he accepted his award for goalie, I can't find that.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
Because he's been hit a bunch?
jamie vernon
Yeah, it just happened last week.
He's talking about his openness to the whole crowd.
It's a pretty good moment.
joe rogan
Listen, man.
andrew santino
That helps, right?
joe rogan
It is not a good thing to be involved with.
You know, head trauma, if you can avoid it in life...
It can possibly happen to you, no matter what you do.
I mean, anybody can have a head trauma.
It could be an accident.
But if you can find a way to avoid it, you probably should.
andrew santino
But in these sports, you can't.
joe rogan
No, you cannot.
So you've got to decide whether or not you want to take that risk.
andrew santino
I'm not ashamed to say I'm mentally ill, but that doesn't mean mentally weak.
That's a fucking dope line, by the way.
joe rogan
That is a dope line.
andrew santino
Because I have mental illness.
joe rogan
You do, you bitch.
andrew santino
You fucking asshole.
joe rogan
Get it together.
unidentified
Give it to me.
joe rogan
Go to a mental doctor and fix your mental illness.
Maybe I have a vitamin for you.
andrew santino
What is it?
joe rogan
Cocaine.
andrew santino
That's what fucked me up.
My dad was a coke addict.
Thanks, man.
joe rogan
Sorry, bro.
andrew santino
Now we're going full circle.
joe rogan
Imagine if you were like a slightly overweight person who might be...
andrew santino
Burt?
joe rogan
More on the feminine side.
unidentified
Burt?
joe rogan
And you get really mad at me like there.
andrew santino
Burt?
joe rogan
No, not Burt.
We're not talking about Burt.
andrew santino
You said fat guy that's a pussy.
joe rogan
How about a woman that doesn't exist?
andrew santino
Love you, Bert.
Someone that doesn't exist?
If I was an overweight person who was sensitive?
joe rogan
Super sensitive.
Would you just choose that moment to be a victim?
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
How would you say it?
unidentified
Big time.
joe rogan
What would you say?
andrew santino
You're cruel, Joe.
joe rogan
Why?
unidentified
Because you don't respect people like me struggle.
joe rogan
What did you do?
What did I say?
andrew santino
You know what you said, you pig?
joe rogan
What did I say?
unidentified
You fucking alpha male pig piece of shit.
joe rogan
You can't say that I just said something.
You gotta tell me.
Jamie, what did I say?
Do you hear what I said?
andrew santino
You offended me, pig.
joe rogan
You don't even remember what I said.
andrew santino
Tell him what I said.
jamie vernon
Call him a bitch for having mental illness.
andrew santino
Call him a bitch for mental illness.
joe rogan
Aren't there some bitches, though?
Right, okay, there's a lot of people out there that have mental illness, and it's legit.
There's a few bitches that are faking it.
They're just bitches.
How come you can't say that?
How come you can't say that?
Because you know it's true.
It's not everyone.
But look, there's some people that are just full of shit.
andrew santino
Yeah, that's anything though, right?
A lot of people are full of shit.
joe rogan
All the grifters of the world, some aren't going to claim depressed.
Come on.
They pretend to be heirs.
They pretend to be dukes.
They're not going to pretend to be depressed?
It's ridiculous.
andrew santino
When a guy is called a bitch, it means he's too weak.
When a woman is called a bitch, it means she's too aggressive.
Do any of us have any idea what this word even means?
joe rogan
That was so good.
That tweet was so good, I wish I wrote it.
Because that point is so good.
andrew santino
Yeah, it's true.
joe rogan
I'm glad she put it on Twitter so no one could steal it.
It's almost like that idea...
Like, that idea is very poignant.
Like, that...
Yeah.
What is that fucking word?
You know?
Like, pussy can be great, but it can also be weak.
But a pussy can give birth.
I mean, a bowling ball comes out of that thing.
andrew santino
Pussies are always strong.
joe rogan
Ten-pound babies come out of a pussy.
Imagine a ten-pound baby coming out of your dick, and they respect that thing.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, what the fuck, man?
andrew santino
Dicks would have more props if they could give birth.
joe rogan
How could a pussy be weak?
It's more like compliant.
But it's not weak.
Like, it's also desirable.
A pussy's not desirable.
It's a man.
andrew santino
When a guy says to a pussy...
joe rogan
A pussy's the opposite of desirable.
andrew santino
If a guy calls you a pussy, what's the first thought?
If someone's like, what a pussy?
joe rogan
Oh, really?
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
andrew santino
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Yeah, right.
So when a guy calls another guy a pussy, it's a cheap insult.
Meaning what?
joe rogan
Well, sometimes you're ready to fight, and you just want to provoke this guy.
andrew santino
Yeah, so pussy's the word.
joe rogan
Because you're a counterpuncher.
andrew santino
So what, you're calling a guy a great sexual object?
You fucking nice thing I want to fuck.
joe rogan
You fucking pussy, just letting him know we're about to get down.
andrew santino
You nice thing I want to fuck all the time.
Get over here!
joe rogan
If you watch guys fight, Half of it is talking shit to each other before you get down.
andrew santino
Yeah, instigate the fight.
joe rogan
It's not just instigating.
You're getting someone scared.
You're making someone nervous.
andrew santino
Well, you're trying to measure up your confidence level versus theirs.
Who's got the most...
joe rogan
If you can get someone nervous, though, if you can legitimately get someone nervous, you can decrease their performance by a significant margin.
andrew santino
For sure.
It gets in their head.
joe rogan
You can scare them.
Yeah.
You can scare someone.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, if you're really ready to go.
But you have to be really ready to go.
andrew santino
Yeah, but everybody...
joe rogan
Because if you're trying to scare someone, they take a swing at you.
andrew santino
Tyson talked about it.
So many competitors talked openly.
When they would see him, they'd get nervous.
joe rogan
Of course.
andrew santino
So they would get scared, and they'd fight worse because they'd get scared.
joe rogan
100%.
andrew santino
Everybody.
I mean, you see that guy, you're like, fuck.
joe rogan
He didn't have to talk much.
He let his performances talk.
The most scary thing he ever said, the scariest thing he ever said was, how dare they threaten me?
unidentified
Fuck.
How dare these mere mortals come to me with their primitive skills.
andrew santino
Is it crazy that he has such a feminine voice?
joe rogan
He's the best.
andrew santino
Such a masculine dude.
joe rogan
My favorite boxer of all time to watch.
andrew santino
He fucks everybody up.
joe rogan
Because the moments when he would fight would not just be...
I don't want to say he's like the best boxer of all time.
andrew santino
Who is?
joe rogan
It's either Floyd Mayweather or Roy Jones Jr. in his prime.
It's how you...
Or Sugar Ray Leonard.
Or Sugar Ray Robinson.
Or Roberto Duran.
There's a lot of arguments.
Or Muhammad Ali.
andrew santino
Who is?
joe rogan
A lot of boxing guys say Sugar Ray Robinson because he had so many fights.
And he was so successful.
And he fought all the time.
And he fought the hardest of men in a hard, hard time.
They were different people.
But I say, if you had to make...
Sugar Ray Robinson fight Floyd Mayweather.
Floyd Mayweather would box him up.
andrew santino
In their prime.
joe rogan
He would box him up.
I think.
I think Floyd would box him up.
andrew santino
But this is the argument of every sport ever, right?
Every sport ever.
Who's the best at that?
There is none.
It's impossible.
joe rogan
I don't think he would be technically...
At the level.
He was ferocious.
He was a vicious knockout puncher.
He threw a double left hook like it was nobody's business.
But Floyd Mayweather had a way of making guys look like they didn't belong there with him.
andrew santino
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
The way he did it to Canelo, the way he did it to Pacquiao, the way he did it to McGregor.
andrew santino
McGregor was...
joe rogan
He was a skillful master.
andrew santino
I went to that fight in Vegas.
unidentified
Did you really?
andrew santino
Yeah, I went to that fight because of Showtime.
And I've got to tell you, Floyd Mayweather looked like he was fighting a guy who's...
He never fought.
Even though he's fought a ton, the balance was way different.
joe rogan
He's a master.
He's a true master.
andrew santino
He makes it look simple.
That's what's disgusting.
Anybody that good?
When people used to watch like Jordan, you'd be like, that looks fake.
joe rogan
He's a true master.
andrew santino
He was just so brilliant and smooth and easy and simple.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
It's a beautiful magic trick to make you think it's easy.
It's fucking impossible what he does.
joe rogan
Sugar Ray Robinson was a motherfucker, don't get me wrong.
I just don't think he ever faced anybody like Floyd.
Because no one like Floyd existed back then.
Because no one like Floyd could exist.
Unless a guy like Sugar Ray Robinson existed first.
So Sugar Ray Robinson had to exist.
Roberta Durant had to exist.
Sugar Ray Leonard had to exist.
Milton McCrory had to exist.
Donald Curry had to exist.
All these killers had to exist.
And that way, a guy like Floyd Mayweather, who was at the Tip.
He figured it all out.
He saw it through.
See, Robinson was a bad motherfucker, dude.
He KO'd a lot of guys.
But they stood in front of each other back then.
Like, look how these guys are fighting.
They're standing in front of him, and he's merking them, man.
I think he was ahead of his time in a lot of ways.
But he lost to Jake LaMotta, and here's my position, although it may be a controversial one.
I cannot envision a world where Jake LaMotta outboxes Floyd Mayweather.
I just don't see that happening.
andrew santino
But you can't compare eras like that.
joe rogan
You can't.
You're right.
andrew santino
It's just too hard.
joe rogan
You can't.
andrew santino
It's too hard.
joe rogan
You can't.
So it's like the same way we can't do it with comedians.
If anybody ever asks me, I always say that Lenny Bruce is probably the greatest of all time because he was the first.
He was the guy who opened the door.
He was the guy who did the weird shit that we do, where we say ridiculous, like we've done on this podcast.
We say ridiculous shit, and you make it funny, and sometimes, at least, sometimes, it has a point to it, and it makes you reconsider.
But we hear you're watching Ray Robinson and Jake LaMotta.
If Jake LaMotta stood like that in front of Floyd Mayweather, Floyd Mayweather would still be hitting him.
unidentified
It was 1946. You'd still be punching him.
joe rogan
I think Ray Robinson was the best of his era, for sure.
And he was an amazing, amazing boxer.
andrew santino
Oh, fuck.
joe rogan
But I mean, a lot of boxing guys are like, you don't know shit about boxing.
You're right.
I don't, in comparison to what I know about MMA. I know he was amazing.
I know he was like the Gene Fulmer knockout, the Jake LaMotta rematch when he had him tied up against the ropes and he was just beating his fucking brains out.
He lost to Billy Kahn.
He was beating Billy Kahn, but he got from heat exhaustion, I think.
And Billy Kahn was a light heavyweight.
He was a bad motherfucker, dude.
He was a bad motherfucker.
I just don't think you can compare Hoist Gracie to Robert Whittaker.
I think they're different animals.
You know what I'm saying?
Robert Whitaker is the current middleweight champion to Hoyce Grace who won the UFC in UFC 1. He won in UFC 1 because Robert Whitaker of 2019 wasn't there.
andrew santino
Yeah, but how many years ago was UFC 1?
joe rogan
It was a long time ago.
1993. It's so different.
Nothing compared to that.
That was the 40s, man.
andrew santino
Right.
That's what I mean.
Exponentially even more different.
joe rogan
Way different.
andrew santino
Way different.
I mean, technology alone has improved so much in the way we train how to fight or train how to play sports.
joe rogan
But did you watch Roy Jones Jr. in his prime?
andrew santino
I mean, I saw him fight.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dude, Roy Jones Jr., when he was in his prime, did things that even Robinson didn't do.
He would put his hands behind his back.
andrew santino
Right, well, taunting and shit.
joe rogan
And guys would move in on him and he'd KO with one punch.
andrew santino
Right, right.
joe rogan
And he'd be like, what?
andrew santino
He said a bait.
joe rogan
He would hit guys, and it would look like it was an impossible matchup.
Like, Vinny Pacienza fought Sugar Ray, or excuse me, fought Roy Jones Jr., and Roy Jones Jr. went a full round without getting hit by a punch.
Do you know how crazy that is?
andrew santino
Almost impossible.
joe rogan
At a world championship level against a guy who, in Vinny Pazienza, was a multiple-time world champion.
andrew santino
Does that happen today?
No.
No way.
joe rogan
He was on another level.
He couldn't maintain it.
He didn't maintain it.
But you can only maintain that for so long.
That's a shooting star.
That's a Bad Company song, son.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Look at this.
This is Roy Jones Jr. Look at that!
Look at that!
That's James Toney, by the way, that he did that to.
Dude, Roy Jones Jr. was on another planet, son.
He called for the stoppage when he started fucking up Vinny Pazienza.
andrew santino
Putting his arm out.
joe rogan
Dude, I'm telling you, this was like one of the beatings of all beating.
You see a guy who's, at this time, probably the best ever.
Look at that combination, son.
Look at that combination when the referee rescues him.
When Roy Jones-June was at his prime, everybody was like, yeah, but the guys he fought, they weren't that good.
andrew santino
Bullshit.
joe rogan
He was better than anybody.
andrew santino
He was so good.
joe rogan
He was on such another level that he made world-class fighters look like they weren't that good.
Bro, he outboxed Bernard Hopkins back then.
I mean, he was on a fucking...
andrew santino
And Bernard Hopkins was hard as fuck.
joe rogan
By the way, Bernard Hopkins, who didn't have the same sort of dynamic explosive style, Bernard Hopkins was a much more solid fundamental guy.
You know, it was a different kind of style.
And Bernard Hopkins wound up beating Roy as Roy was on the way downhill.
Look at him.
He tells this guy to get him.
andrew santino
Just tonting the shit out of this motherfucker.
joe rogan
Standing right in front of him.
Bang!
We play basketball games, like full games, in a fight later that day.
Pink.
Dude, I'm telling you.
You had to see.
He was almost bored for a couple years.
Because there was a couple years where Roy Jones Jr. was just a show.
Nas put him in a song.
He said, the new Mike Tyson is Roy Jones.
But hold on.
You just missed the greatest one of all time.
Go back to that one.
Back it up.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Boonk.
K.O. Pan's behind his back.
andrew santino
He's not even there.
joe rogan
Pan behind his back.
This is John Ruiz.
Now this is the fight that fucked him up.
This is why.
He went all the way up to heavyweight to fight John Ruiz.
And he got to like 200 pounds.
And if you look at him, he's pretty stout.
Then his next fight.
Look at that.
Come on, son.
But his next fight, he had to fight Antonio Tarver.
And Tarver's a legit, world-class light heavyweight.
And...
And Roy just didn't look the same.
It didn't look the same dropping all that weight coming back from heavyweight to fight Tarver, and Tarver knocked him out.
andrew santino
What's the weight difference that he went down to?
joe rogan
25 pounds.
andrew santino
That's a lot of fucking weight.
joe rogan
That's a lot of fucking weight.
andrew santino
A lot of fucking weight.
Especially when you're that high up.
joe rogan
Not only that, let's be just real here.
Let's be real here.
There's not a lot of ways where a man in his 30s gains 25 pounds.
andrew santino
Well, come on.
unidentified
Other than... Mexican supplements!
Yeah!
andrew santino
In my ass and then in my arm.
joe rogan
Yeah, dude.
You know what Tarver said?
You got excuses tonight, Roy?
That's what he said to him before he knocked him out.
When they were facing each other.
But if you look at Roy in this fight, he just does not look as good.
He just did not look as good.
He was more smooth.
He didn't look as muscular.
And Tarver was a real problem, man.
Tarver's a dangerous guy.
See, Roy, when you're losing that much weight to get down from 200 pounds, you're fucking depleted, man.
I don't care what anybody says.
For him to take that fight, if he's going to do it smart, he should have been fucking marathon running for like a year or something.
Just try to lose that weight.
But to try to lose 25 pounds of muscle...
In just a few months time, that's right there.
That was the left hand that knocked him out.
And Tarver was a world-class motherfucker back then.
Tarver might have knocked him out even if they did fight without any problem.
But Roy for sure had a problem.
He had a real hard time making that weight.
And Tarver was legit as they come.
andrew santino
Where's he now, Roy Jones?
joe rogan
Tarver's still fighting.
And Roy Jones Jr. just retired.
Tarver's a heavyweight now.
andrew santino
What?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He took some time off because he got caught with...
unidentified
He got caught with some shit.
joe rogan
Something happened.
andrew santino
And Roy Jones just retired, huh?
joe rogan
Yes, thankfully.
But he was willing to come out of retirement for Michael B. Jordan...
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Who was saying that he could box with him because of the movie Creed.
andrew santino
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
joe rogan
And Roy was legitimately trying to set it up.
andrew santino
Why?
For publicity shit?
joe rogan
He was like, I'm going to fuck this dude up and make a lot of money.
andrew santino
Yeah, beat the shit out of him.
What the fuck?
Michael B. Jordan.
joe rogan
But he was apparently, he was legitimately trying to set it up.
We made a video where I was telling Michael B. Jordan, please, I don't care who's talking to you, listen to me.
Do not do this.
andrew santino
Yeah, dude, what the fuck?
joe rogan
Do not do this.
End your career?
You have no idea how bad that guy's gonna light you on fire.
He's going to light you on fire.
andrew santino
In his worst days.
jamie vernon
It was a joke, but Justin Bieber said he wanted to fight Tom Cruise.
joe rogan
Dana White said, fuck it, set it up.
jamie vernon
I don't know why he was joking, but the internet ran with it.
andrew santino
And you know what?
I would love to see that.
That's why he did it, because he knows people would pay money.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
andrew santino
I'd watch the fuck out of that.
You wouldn't watch that fight?
jamie vernon
Tom Cruise was like a high school wrestling state champion or something like that.
joe rogan
Was he?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
There's pictures of that for sure.
andrew santino
So why wouldn't you want to watch that?
joe rogan
That's my point.
He's 85 years old.
jamie vernon
He's 55 though.
joe rogan
He's 85 years old and he just broke his ankle doing a movie.
andrew santino
Dope.
joe rogan
And he believes in warlocks.
andrew santino
I want to see him fight a fucking weirdo kid.
jamie vernon
They're both super small too.
I don't know how that would like, it wouldn't be super interesting.
joe rogan
I met Justin Bieber when he was a young fella.
andrew santino
He came to the UFC. I worked with him young.
We did fucking punk with that kid.
unidentified
When he was 16, I don't know, 17. Listen, man, that ain't a way to do it.
joe rogan
But if you're gonna do it, he's handled it as good as any.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's not a way to grow up.
It's a terrible way to grow up.
andrew santino
If anybody says they would handle that differently, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
joe rogan
Pretty fucking good job.
I think what would help him, like legitimately help him, is a real struggle, like jiu-jitsu.
Get into real martial arts.
I don't know if he's into it.
andrew santino
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I think he's fighting because he's training now.
jamie vernon
Is he?
andrew santino
I think he offered up a fight because he's learning how to train.
joe rogan
Tired of people talking shit.
unidentified
He got sick of that shit.
He's like, come fuck up.
andrew santino
Look at...
Wiz Khalifa.
Dude, Wiz is jacked.
joe rogan
Wiz is a super nice guy.
unidentified
Jacked.
joe rogan
Super nice guy.
andrew santino
But I'm saying, he used to be thin and now he's like, fuck that, I'm gonna jack out.
joe rogan
Did you see the podcast I did with him?
We talked about it, yeah.
He just really got into it.
andrew santino
You guys got baked as fuck.
joe rogan
Not as baked as I did with Be Real.
That's the highest I've ever been in anything.
Be Real, Cypress Hill.
We were barbecued.
We were barbecued already and then we're like, when we get in the car, then we're gonna really smoke.
I'm like, no!
andrew santino
Dude, he does a show about putting weed and food on Vice.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
And those motherfuckers eat endless amounts of fucking weed on camera.
That's all they do all day.
They smoke joints waiting to eat the weed food.
I was like, this dude is legit.
joe rogan
Be real.
He's a Jedi.
andrew santino
He's a Jedi.
joe rogan
He didn't even flinch.
I tapped out like two minutes into the car ride.
We're not in a car ride.
We're just sitting in a parked car.
But two minutes into sitting in the parked car smoking weed.
I'm like, I can't do this.
I'm going to talk.
andrew santino
You want me...
If you want me to speak English, I'm gonna have to fucking chill.
joe rogan
I just put my joint down.
I'm like, I'm gonna take a break here.
I was so high.
andrew santino
But those are guys that could smoke blunts to themselves.
joe rogan
Mm-hmm.
andrew santino
That's great.
That, to me, is like...
joe rogan
Don't watch movies with three-lip blunts.
Yo, Star Wars 1. This shit look fake as fuck.
unidentified
Fuck.
joe rogan
You know, what's his name?
Action Bronson does that show where he gets high and watches Ancient Aliens.
I was trying to do it last season, but every time they were doing it, I was busy doing something else and I couldn't do it.
andrew santino
Dude, he's the best.
joe rogan
They get high and watch Ancient Aliens.
andrew santino
That dude is the best.
And they sit around on a green screen.
That's a show!
joe rogan
That's a show!
andrew santino
But that's good TV. That's better than half of the other bullshit that's out there.
That's fun and new.
joe rogan
Well, it's fun, for sure.
Look, I mean, think about, if you can have some dude showing up at garage sales trying to get the best deal, you can't have Action Broadcasting on a green screen with his homies getting blasted.
andrew santino
Come on, bro.
joe rogan
Yeah, hilarious, bro.
andrew santino
His big body best right there.
joe rogan
Look at his headset.
jamie vernon
Got that Tommy Tung joint.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Not quite.
Tommy Chong joint's right here, folks.
andrew santino
Look at DJ Alchemist is sleeping on the far right.
He's not even awake.
joe rogan
Look at him.
He's a good dude.
andrew santino
Action?
joe rogan
Yeah, he's a really good dude.
andrew santino
That dude's the shit.
Let me see that thing.
joe rogan
This is the Tommy Chong joint.
jamie vernon
Be gentle, bro.
joe rogan
He's smoking a fat one, but not like that motherfucker.
andrew santino
This is ridiculous.
joe rogan
Unless the Tommy Chong joint dropped down to that size.
andrew santino
You're never going to smoke this.
joe rogan
No, I'm going to keep it forever.
He's a legend.
Tommy Chong is a legend.
I used to listen to his albums when I was a kid, man.
For me to just even be on a podcast with him was surreal.
I just didn't want to waste his time.
I just wanted to be nice to him.
andrew santino
Isn't that weird, though, for him?
joe rogan
I've been on another podcast.
andrew santino
It's big for him, though.
Isn't that wild?
Doesn't that make you feel the type of way where you're like, I'm a hero of this dude, and he's like, dude, I love your shit.
joe rogan
I'm happy.
I'm happy that Tommy Chong loves me because I love him.
Him, Cheech.
As long as I was a kid, man.
andrew santino
Cheech, man, yeah.
joe rogan
Those guys were heroes.
They were ridiculous.
They made everything fun.
They were silly.
They were getting high, and it was silly.
I didn't even get high when I loved them.
When I was watching their movies when I was a kid, Up and Smoke, what year was that?
andrew santino
78?
77?
joe rogan
Let's say.
Okay.
And find that out and then find out what year Big Bamboo came out.
Because Big Bamboo was the album that looked like rolling papers.
andrew santino
Right.
And they had a piece of paper in there, didn't they?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think so.
I think there was a giant piece of paper.
andrew santino
They did.
Right?
jamie vernon
78 was right.
andrew santino
78 was right.
joe rogan
Congratulations.
andrew santino
78. And then wait.
And then in that album, they would later put an actual piece of rolling paper in there.
jamie vernon
Well, the record sleeve was a usable rolling paper.
It was gigantic.
It was way bigger than that.
unidentified
That's incredible.
joe rogan
They were promoting illegal drugs.
benjamin jaffe
You've got to think back then, marijuana was a full-on Schedule 1 drug.
jamie vernon
Schedule 1. Schedule 1. Actually, that was 72, was Big Bamboo.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
andrew santino
Big Bamboo was before.
joe rogan
Okay, so I was...
Five?
jamie vernon
Six?
andrew santino
Yeah, there it is.
And there's the fucking rolling paper.
joe rogan
I was five years old.
So I was born in 67. This was 72. So that's the rolling paper.
Wow, they have a real one.
Look at the fucking inside cover.
The picture of the two of them.
That is crazy.
Pause it when you get to that picture.
jamie vernon
Look at that picture.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
jamie vernon
Before they were together in that improv group he was in when they were really young, like right before that.
andrew santino
Right.
jamie vernon
That's crazy.
andrew santino
Is that where that's from?
jamie vernon
It's right before that.
Oh, I can find it again.
joe rogan
These guys are still doing shows.
Still selling out.
Here's the thing.
Santino and Rogan in 2084. We're going to be taking our vitamins.
andrew santino
Take it over, dog.
joe rogan
We're going to be taking our vitamins, man.
andrew santino
Can you believe that, though?
That's powerful to have that long-term effect of being talented and producing good shit.
Those motherfuckers have been funny and cool for years and years and years.
joe rogan
They still have fans.
I mean, think about it.
If you have fans from 72 to 2019, kapow.
andrew santino
Name somebody else that's like that.
Who's killing it like that, right?
Who would be from that era that's still doing what they do in the comedy world?
joe rogan
Well, it would have been Bill Cosby if he didn't have a few...
andrew santino
What did he do?
unidentified
Something happened, I don't remember.
joe rogan
Did you see that someone was tweeting from Bill Cosby's account about Father's Day?
andrew santino
It was his wife, apparently, right?
Isn't that what it was?
Somebody said on the internet, his wife goes, real men take care of their families.
joe rogan
Imagine just looking at your computer going, yep, this is a good one.
It's a good idea to put this out there.
Definitely a good idea to stay relevant.
Not a good idea to hang back.
andrew santino
I don't want a bad rep in prison.
unidentified
I mean, how many rapes do you have to have where people forget?
andrew santino
How many rapes does it take to get the center of a jail cell?
What do you got?
jamie vernon
I'm checking.
Hold on.
joe rogan
It's so strange that when I was a kid, he was the cleanest, friendliest family guy.
He was Fat Albert.
He was Jell-O Pudding.
He was this super sweet, nice guy.
andrew santino
Clean cut.
joe rogan
Clean cut.
And that's the same thing with the talk about the male feminists.
There's guys that want women to do great because they're just kind.
They want everybody to do great.
You know what I'm talking about.
But then there's guys that are just weasels.
Yes.
It must be similar to those clean-cut guys that are just really pushing you to not use such language.
andrew santino
Why would you say something like that?
joe rogan
Those guys are almost always fucked up.
andrew santino
Of course.
joe rogan
Something's up.
Something's up.
What do you give a fuck about people using certain words?
Do you not know what a word is?
A word is a vehicle for conveying intent.
Some of them disturb you?
What's going on behind your fucking screens, bro?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
What's happening in there?
andrew santino
When you deprive people of things, good God, do they want it more.
And when they show signs of depravity, that means that's something deep inside of them.
joe rogan
Do you think that everyone who's like squeaky clean is a pervert?
andrew santino
Well, of some semblance, yeah.
Yeah, right?
Yes, of course.
When you preach perfection, what does that really mean?
joe rogan
Something's wrong with you, bro.
andrew santino
Something's wrong with you, dude.
unidentified
Yeah.
andrew santino
Why are you telling me how to be perfect?
unidentified
Why are you telling me how to fucking stop doing heroin?
andrew santino
Are you?
Are you?
joe rogan
Duncan told me this about the Dalai Lama.
Hilarious story.
andrew santino
And he's blind?
joe rogan
He goes to the Dalai Lama, says...
His mother wants him to quit doing sugar.
And he says, come back in one month.
So he comes back in one month.
And he goes, stop doing sugar.
And the mother's like, well, why did you wait a month?
unidentified
month.
joe rogan
He goes, I want to see if I could do it.
unidentified
That's hilarious, isn't it?
joe rogan
That's so poignant.
Like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, you should, right?
andrew santino
Yeah.
unidentified
There's a lot of people telling you That's wild.
joe rogan
Respect women.
Just respect them.
Meanwhile, that guy just got done screaming at his ex-girlfriend.
Fucking bitch!
I'll fucking strangle you and shit.
andrew santino
I'm on Twitter, you fucking bitch!
joe rogan
You fucking bitch.
unidentified
And then it's like, women are goddesses.
joe rogan
You must be respected.
andrew santino
Dude, those who throw stones always live in a glass house.
They always do it.
That's the first person to throw something is the first person that's like, what's really going on with you?
Hey, by the way, by the way.
joe rogan
By the way.
andrew santino
By the way, you see Louie at Skankfest.
What a response.
joe rogan
Interesting.
andrew santino
Our boy Tim Dillon tweeted about it and people went after him.
He tweeted, best moment of my year or something like that.
joe rogan
You know what someone said to me?
andrew santino
People lost it.
I fucking love Tim Dillon.
joe rogan
Someone said that, you know, hey, fuck you, Joe Rogan.
He sexually assaulted women.
Like, man...
I understand that people are upset about what he did, but he did not sexually assault women.
And to say that, the one group of people that it really fucks is people who have been actually sexually assaulted.
andrew santino
Yes, sure.
joe rogan
What he did is not good.
But when a guy says, can I jerk off in front of you?
And you say yes, and he does it.
There's a big difference between that and sexual assault.
And contrary to popular opinion...
I don't know how many people really know the story.
And again, I'm not saying that what he did was good.
What he did was definitely not good.
When people said no, he didn't do it.
It's not like he made people do it if they didn't say yes.
He asked questions.
And a lot of people don't know this.
I saw an article in one of these papers that was saying that he's changing his story.
He's not changing his story.
What he said was their stories were true.
But in their stories...
I don't think he wanted to defend every single aspect of it, but as far as I know, he didn't – no one said no and then he did it anyway.
andrew santino
That's all I've ever heard.
joe rogan
And Sarah Silverman talked about how he would ask her and she would say yes and he would do it.
Sometimes she would say no.
andrew santino
Say no, right.
Sometimes she didn't.
joe rogan
I want to see you jerk off.
Stop.
Right.
He's a freak.
Okay?
He's a weirdo.
He's a genius comic.
And I don't think he's as bad as people want to believe he is.
I think he made mistakes like a human.
And I don't think it was good.
And again, I don't think he's happy about it at all.
I think that's a giant understatement.
But when does it end?
Like, when is he allowed to perform?
When is he allowed to perform for people who forgive him?
When is he allowed to perform?
I don't know.
The conversation...
It comes to a point where it's not like you're endorsing terrible behavior, but you are saying at a certain point in time, you've got to give someone a way out.
Because if you don't, then they start to recognize what you are.
And you're kind of a tyrant.
And you're kind of saying you don't believe in forgiveness, you don't believe in improvement, you don't believe in anybody ever getting past a bad deed that they did.
And I think as a human who's a kind – you try to be a kind person, try to be a fair person.
You know, you gotta let people grow and move past mistakes.
I don't know when it is, I don't know what someone has to say in order to get you to forgive it, but the fact that people dwell on it, unless you and him have a personal thing, and you want to talk to him about it, and I don't know if he has, I don't know if he's done any of that stuff.
But I think as a culture, we are way too quick not just to condemn but to attack and to continue to attack relentlessly and to never want someone to get up.
And that's not a sign of a compassionate person.
And maybe it's partly to blame for people who don't express themselves and don't give you a full version of who they are and you let people contemplate who you are.
And I think anyone in the public eye has been guilty of that to some extent.
But this is a significant issue.
And I think that people immediately start taking sides, and they start going girl versus boy, male versus female.
And I think there's real danger in us splitting up like that, too.
We can't get to this place where women feel like they can't trust men, and men feel like they can't trust women just universally, and then you find rare exceptions.
Like, I've read shit like that before.
Like, I read some lady wrote, it was kind of sad, she wrote like, any straight white male is trash unless proven otherwise.
It's like, look, I know it must be hard.
andrew santino
Okay, dude.
joe rogan
I know it must be hard out there.
andrew santino
What an insane thing to cast such a big net.
joe rogan
Not just to even think it.
andrew santino
All Filipinos have a bad leg.
joe rogan
But you're broadcasting it to your 16,000 followers.
You're putting that on your Twitter page.
andrew santino
It's silly, though.
joe rogan
It's a crazy way of looking at shit.
andrew santino
You can't encompass an entire group of humans.
joe rogan
Ever.
andrew santino
It doesn't make sense.
joe rogan
It doesn't make sense.
andrew santino
So what the fuck are we...
Look...
joe rogan
But I get where they're coming from.
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
Because they feel like they're gaining ground.
andrew santino
Sure.
joe rogan
So a guy like Louis C.K. comes back and they're connecting him with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I don't think it's the same thing.
Again, I don't think what he did was good.
Look, I have all daughters, man.
andrew santino
We have classes of crimes.
joe rogan
I don't want anybody jerking off in front of them when they really don't want it.
andrew santino
Sure!
joe rogan
Sure!
It's not good.
andrew santino
And I'm sorry about that last summer.
I didn't mean to do that.
It's a barbecue.
I just thought, whatever.
joe rogan
I had a good time, dude.
I had a good time.
I didn't feel bad at all.
andrew santino
No, but fucking, come on, man.
I just think that, like, we have classes of crimes.
You're not going to do it in this world?
You're going to say they're all the same?
joe rogan
I heard someone, I was seeing someone saying what he did was definitely a crime.
And I was like, come on.
You might be upset that he did it, but it's not a crime.
andrew santino
It's wrong.
It's unfortunate.
unidentified
It's fucked up.
joe rogan
The real problem, the real issue is that he was in a position where these girls were admiring him.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And I think he's recognized that.
I don't think he's explained it to some people's, what they desire.
You know, some people's requirements.
And I appreciate that, and I understand that.
I really just think what a lot of us are missing is just a lack of communication and compassion and understanding.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
I think we're missing a lot of that.
andrew santino
Totally.
joe rogan
And we're real, you know, we've got to think of people, like, anytime someone's, I mean, I'm not talking about people that are serial killers.
I'm just talking about people who make mistakes.
You've got to treat, we're all human beings.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
People make mistakes.
andrew santino
We fuck up.
joe rogan
Doesn't mean you're a canceled person.
We've got to stop with that.
I really think that.
Because I just think that it's not helping anybody.
And it's getting people's jollies off because they watch someone crash down.
andrew santino
Yeah, people love to watch someone fucking burn.
joe rogan
And I was also thinking that also when this kind of stuff happens, people don't want to ever reconsider their opinion on a person.
Like, there was this thing about Kevin Spacey.
And they made the text available of this guy who Kevin Spacey was touching his dick going back and forth with his girlfriend.
Bro, they were laughing about it.
And they're trying to make it seem like this is evidence that he was scared and that Kevin Spacey was sexually abusing him.
They were like, oh my god, he's gay.
unidentified
He's gay.
joe rogan
He's touching my dick.
He's gay.
He's unzipping my pants.
He's gay.
This guy was texting his girlfriend while Kevin Spacey...
andrew santino
I'm in his asshole.
He's so gay.
joe rogan
He's so gay.
andrew santino
He must be gay because I'm fucking him in his mouth now.
joe rogan
Bro, they released all the text messages, but they didn't release some of them.
And the mother said that she deleted a lot of them that related to his frat boy-like behavior.
andrew santino
What is that?
joe rogan
Probably jokes about getting his dick sucked by Kevin Spacey and how hilarious that was.
andrew santino
Leave that shit in there.
That's hilarious, yeah.
joe rogan
No, there's some deception going on.
I think, I mean, obviously I'm not a lawyer, but I think they're trying to make some money.
That's what I think.
Sure.
I think it's horse shit.
I don't think this 18-year-old kid's worried about this 800-year-old man touching his dick.
He flatlined that guy.
He just popped him in the face.
When you're 18, you'll punch the fuck out of some 65-year-old pervert.
andrew santino
Come in, little boy.
unidentified
Come in.
joe rogan
Unless he's a small fellow.
I don't know if he's...
I have no idea about his physical stature.
But if I was 18, some guy kept grabbing my dick, I'd put him to sleep.
Yeah, dude.
andrew santino
That's the first thing you do at 18. You're like, I'm gonna fight you, dude.
joe rogan
I'm like, you're not gonna fuck me, man.
andrew santino
What is this?
What's this shit?
joe rogan
Start with the accuser texting.
Like, he's hanging around me in the bar.
He's got my number and asked me to come out with him.
The girlfriend replies, are you kidding?
And then sends two other messages saying, what?
And then it says, sounds like he's hitting on you.
The man types, I think he is.
And then he's grabbing my leg and expletive.
Oh my God, you can't say cock.
And goes away to say, I'm not gay.
Adding, but I think Spacey is.
The accuser continued texting, saying that he was being touched inappropriately, like eight times later, adding.
And then he invited me to his house.
Hey!
Pro tip!
Pro tip.
When a dude is touching your dick, you gotta tell him to stop.
andrew santino
Look at this.
joe rogan
Not once does he say the guy's trying to tell him to stop.
andrew santino
What the expletive fuck is happening?
joe rogan
Yeah, I saw this.
I saw this.
andrew santino
Have fun.
Too much fun.
joe rogan
I was gonna get to that.
andrew santino
Jesus Christ, you reached down my pants.
joe rogan
What the fuck is happening?
Have fun, but not too much fun, if you know what I mean.
Jesus Christ, you reached down my pants.
Help.
No, this is Kevin ducking Spacey.
The bitch can't even spell it.
She fucked the auto-text up.
andrew santino
He's gay.
He's buying me another drink.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
andrew santino
Babe, he's gay.
I think I want to hang.
joe rogan
This kid is gay.
andrew santino
Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?
Why are you texting?
joe rogan
The accuser writes that he got autographs and a hell of a story.
andrew santino
Come on, man.
Opportunistic.
joe rogan
Opportunistic.
Maybe he's not gay.
Maybe he's just a kid having a good time and doesn't understand how crazy this is.
andrew santino
Not a lot of people who get sexually assaulted have time to text.
unidentified
Okay?
andrew santino
I'm just saying.
He's having fun playing around.
joe rogan
He was enjoying the fact that it was Kevin Spacey doing to him, for sure.
But it doesn't sound to me in any way like he was threatened.
It sounds like he let the guy touch him.
And maybe he should be accused of blue balling, Mr. Spacey.
andrew santino
Did Spacey get a nut?
Does it say that at the end?
joe rogan
Do you think that he was flirting with him a little bit?
Come on.
Keep Kevin Spacey around?
andrew santino
He thinks it's funny.
joe rogan
It's fucked up.
The whole story's fucked up.
If Kevin Spacey really did do it, then it's fucked up that we're joking about it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And if Kevin Spacey didn't do it, then it's fucked up that this guy is trying to set him up because he just wants to make money and he's ruining Kevin Spacey's life.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
But Kevin Spacey's life is already in the middle.
andrew santino
Yeah, it's a spiral.
joe rogan
There's a lot of shit going on.
andrew santino
There's a lot of shit.
joe rogan
A lot of dick grabbing.
This was an isolated incident.
andrew santino
That was one of many, but different many.
joe rogan
But it's a different thing.
If you look at that story, after you read those texts, you go, oh, this is a different thing.
This isn't like he's trying to force some guy into a bathroom and bludgeon him and fuck him while he's unconscious.
andrew santino
No, they're partied out having a good time.
He said they're buying us another drink.
joe rogan
The guy is hanging around.
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
He's not being forced against his will.
There's no one that's holding him there.
jamie vernon
Yeah, if you got your dick grabbed once and you didn't want it, you don't let it happen seven more times.
andrew santino
You also don't text someone.
joe rogan
He grabbed his dick eight times!
And everyone's like, look, the victim is crying for help.
andrew santino
Yeah, and he texts someone, he just grabbed my dick.
joe rogan
I did it again!
This is what men have to really truly understand.
It is so much different when a guy like Kevin Spacey, and again, I don't know what this guy looked like, but I'm going to assume it was me at 18. Sure.
A normal kid who does athletic stuff.
I'm strong at 18. I'm not worried about him raping me is what my point is.
Whereas a woman, if a guy's doing that and the guy's cornered you- Fear.
Yeah, there's fear.
andrew santino
There's heavy fear.
joe rogan
You're literally worried this guy could rape you.
I hope he's not that guy that would rape me, the kind of guy.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Because women don't know if you're the kind of guy that would rape them.
Because look at Ted Bundy, man.
He was a handsome guy.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
And girls would just go with him because they thought, like, oh, he looks good.
andrew santino
Yeah, he's fine.
He seems normal.
joe rogan
Next you know he's killing him.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right?
So girls legitimately have to worry about that work, guys.
Don't.
So even this guy with Kevin Spacey, if he didn't like what Kevin Spacey was doing, there's no indication that he said it to him.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
So Kevin Spacey's probably thinking, we're gonna party.
I'm touching this guy's dick.
He ain't saying shit.
He's just texting his friends.
You gotta tell your friends when I fuck your mouth.
Tell your friends.
andrew santino
I wanna fuck your friends, too.
Bring those motherfuckers over here.
joe rogan
Bring those guys, too.
Bring the whole team.
I'll fuck all of them.
He's probably thinking he's gonna have a good time because this guy's not saying anything.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Meanwhile, this guy's texting his...
Never does he say, hey, I told him to stop touching my dick and he won't leave me alone.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Doesn't say that.
andrew santino
He said he invited me to his house.
We're ready to party.
joe rogan
I had to push him away from me.
I was gonna fuck him up, but I guess he's drunk.
I'm coming to you, baby, because I love you.
No, it's none of that.
It's like, LOL, he's jerking me off in his mouth.
andrew santino
She says, be careful, have fun, which is like, you're out for the night, I guess.
jamie vernon
She even told him that being gay is okay.
She said, are you trying to tell me something?
Being gay is okay.
And that's when he responded, I'm not gay.
joe rogan
LOL. Bro, that kid's not scared.
Okay, this idea that he should get money because he was getting sexually assaulted.
No, you're getting hit on.
And you're at an establishment that serves drugs.
The drug that reduces inhibition better than any drug.
Alcohol.
And you're accepting this drug from this guy who's already touched your dick seven times.
andrew santino
Acknowledging it, by the way.
This isn't like a, I didn't know what was happening.
unidentified
Written.
andrew santino
Dictating.
joe rogan
LOL. Joking about it.
andrew santino
His dick is in my ass.
joe rogan
How dare this guy.
unidentified
Whoa!
andrew santino
What was happening?
joe rogan
Do you think that Kevin Spacey should be able to sue him back?
andrew santino
Countersuit for that?
For defamation of character?
joe rogan
Just for being a bitch.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just sue for being a bitch.
If there was a court of men where you could judge Santino, please welcome this case.
Mr. Spacey touched this boy's dick over and over again and continued to buy him drinks.
And the man never said no, but he texted his girlfriend over and over again and then later on sued Mr. Spacey for sexual assault.
Your thoughts?
andrew santino
Young man, you're guilty of being a bitch.
You must serve time as a biatch.
joe rogan
Okay, then the question is, is there a real issue with him being 18?
andrew santino
He's legal.
joe rogan
Maybe he's legal, but maybe he's bewildered.
He doesn't know what to do.
Maybe he's never been around a famous guy like Kevin Spacey before.
He doesn't know how to tell a guy to get off of him.
He doesn't have experience being around gay guys.
Maybe he's never had a guy try to fuck him.
andrew santino
Yeah, but he's playing into the game.
The texts all say that he's playing.
Oh, he's touching me and maybe we're going to hang out with him.
He's doing this game.
He's playing a game.
joe rogan
Immaterial.
You're harassing the witness.
jamie vernon
Did the kid work at the bar or something?
What was he doing at the bar?
joe rogan
Sucking dicks.
andrew santino
Was it a gay bar?
jamie vernon
No.
He's 18. He was at a bar.
joe rogan
I think he worked there.
But he lied to him until he was 23. That was another part of the problem.
The kid lied and told Kevin Spacey he was older than he was.
Boom, boom, boom.
The plot thickens.
andrew santino
Also, there's bars you can go into under 21. I know you can be in there.
jamie vernon
I was just saying, what was he doing?
Just hanging out?
Having fun?
Or was he working?
andrew santino
Well, he did say he's going to buy us drinks.
jamie vernon
That's what I meant.
Was he like a busboy?
And he just kept walking by him and he kept grabbing his dick every time he walked by.
joe rogan
Didn't he say he worked there?
jamie vernon
I'm looking at it.
I don't see anything else.
joe rogan
We don't need to keep talking about this.
This poor fella.
They didn't want to run into Kevin Spacey.
But it was a financial opportunity and he had to...
unidentified
He had to capitalize.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which thing's gonna happen?
Think he's gonna go to jail?
andrew santino
No, fuck no.
No, these guys...
joe rogan
Is that guy's gonna get any money?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The kid?
andrew santino
Hush money is...
Yeah, he'll get some hush money.
unidentified
Why didn't he already get it?
joe rogan
How much does he want?
andrew santino
He'll get it all.
jamie vernon
He got him drunk and then sexually assaulted him at that bar is what happened.
joe rogan
He worked there.
Is that what he said?
jamie vernon
Yeah, he worked there as a busboy.
joe rogan
Okay.
andrew santino
People with wealth always get off.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Like, what's her name?
The USC people?
Lori Loughlin?
joe rogan
You know what's fucked up, man?
andrew santino
They get off.
joe rogan
The last season of House of Cards?
unidentified
Nobody gave a fuck about it.
joe rogan
There was a big billboard.
andrew santino
The billboards and everyone was like, oh, okay.
joe rogan
It was a four-year consideration.
What is her name again?
andrew santino
Robin Wright.
joe rogan
Yeah, Robin Wright.
She's amazing.
She's amazing in the show.
andrew santino
She's one of the best actresses we've ever had alive.
joe rogan
She needed him to play off.
He was the ultimate evil that was turning her more evil.
andrew santino
Well, they're balanced.
joe rogan
She killed her boyfriend.
Spoiler alert.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bro.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bro.
By the way, in the show, he's doing a lot of gay shit.
Like, hint, hint.
andrew santino
The whole show he does.
He gets his cocks up in a library or some shit.
joe rogan
Kisses guys.
A lot of crazy shit.
It's a crazy fucking show.
andrew santino
Which is why I loved it.
joe rogan
And it was amazing.
And you needed a dirty, crazy fuck like Kevin Spacey to pull that character off.
andrew santino
For sure.
joe rogan
Look, part of you knew he knew what it was to be a crazy fuck.
It's like part of how he pulled that role off.
You bought it.
Okay?
That's not Ron Howard pretending to be banging dudes and Getting his dick sucked and all that stuff.
jamie vernon
I think his best role is he's playing a crazy guy.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's crazy.
andrew santino
Yeah, always.
joe rogan
It's also why he's such an amazing artist, but it doesn't give him a license to victimize all those people that he went after.
andrew santino
Of course not.
joe rogan
It's not justifying, but what I'm saying is it's amazing how someone who is fucked up like that can produce You know, like, this kind of art where, like, he makes a show, right?
The show, a big part of what it was.
It's because you bought this guy as this crazy, tormented, twisted fuck.
andrew santino
Absolutely.
I mean, he was so eloquent at it.
He was unbelievable.
It looked so natural.
It was so real.
That's probably because it was real, right?
joe rogan
100%.
andrew santino
I mean, you know how many people in America you say...
For years, you're like, Kevin Spacey's gay.
And the business has known about it.
And they go, you're fucking out of your head.
You don't know he's gay?
unidentified
What?
andrew santino
But how many people in America were like, no he's not?
joe rogan
In America we go, he's not gay.
andrew santino
What?
joe rogan
Fucking California.
Everybody thinks everybody's gay.
andrew santino
But that's the problem.
It's because there's a perception.
And in the show, him playing this character who's also art imitating life, balancing on this world of hiding a big secret.
It was just so close to home.
It was crazy.
joe rogan
It was such a good show, dude.
andrew santino
So good.
joe rogan
When she fell in love with that artist.
unidentified
Oh, so good.
joe rogan
She went to live with him in New York.
And there's pictures of them together.
unidentified
And it's like, whoa, this is crazy.
joe rogan
Crazy!
andrew santino
Watching them naked in bed in some amazing loft and so on.
joe rogan
But you needed them together.
After they kicked him out, you're like, what?
andrew santino
The dynamics was too strong when they were together.
It was amazing.
joe rogan
In the episode one that I watched, the only one that I watched, everybody looked super nervous.
Everybody looked super...
It just looked off.
andrew santino
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
joe rogan
Just looked off.
The show looked off.
They knew.
Jesus Christ.
They just fired Kevin Spacey and everybody was watching.
andrew santino
Even on camera, they're like, So we'll just continue this game.
joe rogan
It was just weird.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, maybe it got better as time went on.
andrew santino
I didn't see it.
joe rogan
You know who I really liked, too?
Was his assistant, that guy that helped him out, that would do anything for him.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
That killed Rachel Brosnahan.
andrew santino
Yeah, I don't remember that.
When you pushed her in front of a train?
joe rogan
No, no, no.
That was him.
That was Kevin Spacey.
Kevin Spacey killed a girl in front of the train.
Right, that was a hooker.
And then the other guy went back and killed a hooker.
andrew santino
Right, that was a hooker.
joe rogan
That hooker went on to be the marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
andrew santino
That's right.
Rachel Brosnahan.
joe rogan
That's right.
andrew santino
Yeah, that's right.
She's dope.
unidentified
She's great.
andrew santino
She's very dope.
joe rogan
She's great in that Maisel show.
andrew santino
Yes, that is a good fucking show.
joe rogan
You know, Amazon's doing comedy specials now.
andrew santino
Are they?
joe rogan
They did Jim Gaffigan.
andrew santino
Oh, I know that.
joe rogan
And they did Russell Peters.
And they're doing some other ones as well.
andrew santino
I'll do one with them.
I'll do one over there.
Amazon, I'll do one with you.
joe rogan
I like it.
andrew santino
Yeah, I think it's cool.
Breaking the mold of the Netflix mold.
joe rogan
Everybody has Amazon Prime, dude.
Everybody does.
andrew santino
Well, now they own Whole Foods.
When you go to Whole Foods, you get a good discount on shit.
That's wild.
I was like, she was like, do you have your app?
You scan your fucking app.
joe rogan
Nice.
andrew santino
Give yourself a little bit of turkey legs.
What do you want?
unidentified
Take a little for yourself.
andrew santino
A couple of bags of spinach.
Why don't you check out at $2 off?
What are you, Amazon person?
joe rogan
Nice.
Yeah.
Amazon.
andrew santino
Amazon owns the fucking world, man.
joe rogan
Content.
They're doing...
What a weird company.
You buy stuff with one click.
You can watch TV shows.
They're making TV shows.
You can go buy your groceries.
When are they going to open up their town?
Amazon Town?
andrew santino
Where is it?
Where does it go?
joe rogan
Buffalo.
andrew santino
They need it bad.
People in Buffalo are like, please?
Would you go to Amazon Town?
Would you live there?
joe rogan
No.
It'd be a mess.
andrew santino
Jamie, would you live in Amazon Town?
joe rogan
A lot of brown boxes.
Everywhere you look.
Brown boxes.
andrew santino
We recycle.
jamie vernon
They've changed everything.
They've changed the way grocery stores have to work now because they have that two-hour delivery.
You have to have delivery at grocery stores.
andrew santino
It's fucking awesome.
jamie vernon
I know, but...
joe rogan
They do that with Whole Foods too, right?
Does Whole Foods deliver?
andrew santino
Yes.
jamie vernon
Yes.
joe rogan
I think most grocery stores...
andrew santino
We will reach a point now when we don't go into grocery stores.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
andrew santino
They'll deliver.
joe rogan
Dude, when I was a kid, no grocery stores delivered.
Do you remember a grocery store?
andrew santino
Yeah, I've never heard of that.
Never heard of it?
No, that didn't exist.
joe rogan
When did that start?
jamie vernon
They do have the store, too, where you walk in and it feels like you're stealing.
andrew santino
And you just leave.
jamie vernon
You just leave and they charge your account.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
unidentified
Do you know this?
andrew santino
In New York, they tested it out.
People just walk in and you have the app in your phone so when you walk out, it registers what you have with you.
unidentified
Whoa.
andrew santino
It's fucking insane.
joe rogan
Living in the future, bro.
andrew santino
There will be a point when we don't ever go to those things.
You get an order every week.
joe rogan
How long will it be before they can replicate food and all you have to do is put the bare ingredients and amino acids and shit into some vat and then you print up anything you want.
Print up, 3D print a steak, 3D print an apple, 3D print a baked potato.
andrew santino
I'm hungry for a pizza.
joe rogan
3D print it.
andrew santino
Yeah, but you know what?
joe rogan
What?
andrew santino
It's not going to taste good.
joe rogan
How do you know, bitch?
andrew santino
Because food has love in that shit.
unidentified
People say that, like, yeah, these new cars, man, there's no soul.
joe rogan
Okay.
andrew santino
No, but food is different.
Nutrition is different.
You can never take...
You can't take...
joe rogan
How do you know?
It's just elements.
Just little things that they figure out how to fucking move around, wiggle.
andrew santino
I don't know.
Something about...
They're being so natural.
unidentified
Imagine...
joe rogan
Perfect comes out with a nice, like, toast to the crust.
andrew santino
God, your fucking computer.
Imagine...
Just an English muffin?
joe rogan
Dude.
andrew santino
I don't think so.
There's no fucking way.
joe rogan
What if they nail it?
unidentified
What if they have like the perfect trocker croissant?
joe rogan
Oh, chocolate.
jamie vernon
I was thinking, yeah, there's a touch to that.
There is a touch, a human touch needed.
I feel like a robot might not be able to give a great massage.
andrew santino
Well, like, you know, they say that the oils in your hands are good when you eat with your hands.
That's why a lot of the world still eats with their fucking hands, right?
Utensils take away.
joe rogan
No, they're dirty people.
andrew santino
No, they're not dirty people.
joe rogan
What are they doing with their hands?
andrew santino
Your hands have natural enzymes that kill a lot of bacteria.
joe rogan
Maybe yours, bro.
andrew santino
Well, I'm not wiping my ass with my hands anymore.
joe rogan
That's why in some countries it's a real insult to try to shake someone's hand with your left hand.
andrew santino
Right, it's your booty hand.
joe rogan
It's your booty hand, bro.
andrew santino
It's your booty hand player.
joe rogan
Yeah, bro.
andrew santino
Yeah, but you know what?
I still think there's something about the touch of food.
When someone touches food, it does something to enzymes of food.
joe rogan
I don't know about that.
unidentified
Must.
joe rogan
Sounds like some fucking voodoo bullshit you learned from your astrologer.
andrew santino
Listen, bro.
You believe in the tides, Joe?
unidentified
Hmm.
andrew santino
I gotta think that you know.
There's something about the love of food that fucking a robot can.
joe rogan
You go to him.
You know.
unidentified
Because he's sensitive.
andrew santino
He's got a good heart.
joe rogan
Yeah, he understands enzymes that come from your fingers.
unidentified
They do!
joe rogan
Not something that's produced in your gut.
Enzymes are produced.
They're digestive things.
andrew santino
Yeah, but it's in your hands.
joe rogan
Do you get enzymes in your hands?
andrew santino
Yeah, you do.
In your fingertips.
Yes.
joe rogan
What kind of enzymes?
andrew santino
It makes it that your food is...
joe rogan
Where'd you read this?
andrew santino
Look it up.
Look it up.
joe rogan
Is that real?
unidentified
Look it up.
jamie vernon
It sounds like you're talking about a cast iron skillet.
unidentified
Like...
joe rogan
Do enzymes come off your fingers for real?
andrew santino
There's something in your hands that changes the chemical composition of food, that changes the flavor profiles in your mouth, and it makes it so you don't get sick.
unidentified
Yeah!
joe rogan
That's amazing.
andrew santino
Dirty hands are good.
joe rogan
Makes it till you don't get sick?
andrew santino
Dirty hands.
People have...
joe rogan
This is what you say before you eat ass or after.
andrew santino
Before we fucking...
Lift up your booty.
joe rogan
When you eat ass and then have nachos.
andrew santino
Before we had soap, what do you think?
How do you think their dirty hands ate food?
joe rogan
They died, dude.
andrew santino
No, they didn't die that much.
joe rogan
They were 30 years old.
jamie vernon
They were bleeding out of their asshole and mouth.
Nothing at all.
andrew santino
Get out of here.
jamie vernon
I swear.
andrew santino
Get out of here.
jamie vernon
The only thing that's coming up, I typed in oils in hands, changing food.
unidentified
You know what's coming up?
joe rogan
Mike Tyson weed causes you to make up ridiculous facts.
andrew santino
You...
Look at a...
Jamie, search on Bing, bro.
Don't just Google it.
jamie vernon
I'll let you pick the search.
What would you like me to search for this?
andrew santino
Okay, search this.
Search this.
joe rogan
I got to pee.
andrew santino
All right, Joe's got to pee.
jamie vernon
We'll figure this out why you pee.
joe rogan
Okay.
Search...
unidentified
This is great.
andrew santino
Search...
Cultures that eat with their hands don't get sick.
How about that?
This is great.
jamie vernon
Mind your manners, eat with your hands.
andrew santino
No.
jamie vernon
Eating from the same bowl, is it safe?
Dining etiquette from around the world.
andrew santino
Look, dude, there's got to be, there's some shit in people's hands that makes them not get sick when they eat.
unidentified
What?
andrew santino
For years we ate without utensils.
jamie vernon
Yeah, but people got sick.
andrew santino
No, but not all the time, Jamie.
jamie vernon
Heat helps that, like cooking with heat.
andrew santino
Not everyone could cook with fire.
People ate a lot of raw shit for a long time.
You've got to find something on there.
jamie vernon
I mean, I'm looking.
andrew santino
You're killing me, dude.
This is killing me.
I'm too high to look it up right now myself.
That's the bummer.
jamie vernon
I don't even know how to do it, man.
I'll try Bing.
We're going to go to Bing.
andrew santino
Go to Bing.
See what the fuck Bing does.
unidentified
Eating with hands don't get sick.
andrew santino
Yeah, there's got to be something else.
jamie vernon
Eight secrets of people who never get sick.
Let's see.
It's just about sleeping, sneezing, vitamin C, sleep it off, get a handle on stress, be a gym rat.
andrew santino
This is nothing.
jamie vernon
You got nothing, man.
andrew santino
Got nothing coming up.
jamie vernon
I got nothing.
andrew santino
God, son of a bitch.
jamie vernon
Totally nothing here.
I don't know where you got this from.
andrew santino
Hey, just make it up for Joe.
Just lie when he comes back.
When he comes back, just be like, no, yeah, we found so much stuff.
It's crazy.
Where have I heard this?
I've heard it somewhere.
Someone on the internet is going to agree with me.
Some dude will find it.
jamie vernon
The thing I had with Bill Cosby, he just filed today for an appeal, apparently.
andrew santino
Oh, he did?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
358 pages.
andrew santino
A hard fucking case to fight, huh?
How are you going to fight that, dude?
Would you kill yourself?
unidentified
I don't know.
andrew santino
Tell him.
Hey, Joe, Jamie found a ton of fucking stuff proving my shit.
joe rogan
On fingertip enzymes?
jamie vernon
Yeah, like the QC10, something like that.
No, absolutely not.
Couldn't find a single thing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That happens, man.
andrew santino
Somebody told me.
joe rogan
Sometimes you just have a dream, and in that dream you're convincing.
andrew santino
No, I've heard it somewhere, and then I thought, wow, that's amazing.
People, cultures, they eat with their hands.
There's enzymes in your hands.
joe rogan
No, they just don't want to change to forks, and they say, make up some story about Hindu gods.
andrew santino
Yeah, I was in Central America.
joe rogan
Yes.
Yes, they told me.
andrew santino
And I was eating shit raw.
joe rogan
You're in contact with the flesh.
unidentified
You never lose contact.
andrew santino
If you were Bill Cosby, would you just kill yourself?
joe rogan
Yes.
andrew santino
You would, right?
I would just end it.
joe rogan
I don't know what you can do when you're that far down the hole.
jamie vernon
So you just found an appeal.
joe rogan
Here's a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier with Louis.
Think about Louis, and now think about Bill Cosby.
andrew santino
Totally different.
joe rogan
Right, but people don't want you to say that because they're both, air quotes, abusers.
One of them is a monster.
One of them is a guy who did some stupid shit, kinky shit, weird shit.
He was into it.
He asked people.
They said yes.
He shouldn't have done it.
He feels bad that he did it.
But how do you forgive Bill Cosby?
To take the idea that you're supposed to forgive Louis...
Which I think.
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
And then I don't see a path for Bill Cosby to be forgiven.
I don't see that path.
When you've ruined the lives of how many people?
andrew santino
50 plus.
When something's that heinous, I just don't think, I think it's quite different.
joe rogan
Have you ruined their life?
You certainly, certainly fucked them up.
If you wake up and you're with Bill Cosby and you thought he was going to take care of you and your pants are down by your ankles and you realize he fucked you while you're unconscious and he drugged you, that is going to fuck your head up.
It's going to change what you think about people, that someone could just drug you and treat you like meat.
You're unconscious.
They're doing things to you when you're out cold.
andrew santino
So you're saying, what's our laws of forgiveness?
joe rogan
Well, how do you forgive that?
First of all, you can't because he doesn't admit it.
He never admits it.
So he never even gets to the door of acceptance, of forgiveness, of doing his penance.
If there is a penance, if there's anything you never do ever, he doesn't even get to the door.
andrew santino
If he did admit it, then would there be room for forgiveness?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
I think it would probably open up the door to more lawsuits.
andrew santino
Sure.
joe rogan
I think they would come storming in like hail, you know?
andrew santino
Right.
Yeah, but I know what you're saying is very smart.
It's saying like, We're saying we're supposed to forgive someone like Louis.
Well, what is the line of when you don't forgive?
What's the line?
joe rogan
What is the line?
andrew santino
What's the number?
What's the line?
What's the atrocity?
What is it that we go, you can't forgive this person anymore?
joe rogan
What's the line of compassion?
Where do you take it?
andrew santino
The line of compassion.
That's a good word.
That's what it is.
What is that ultimate where you go, no, no.
You can no longer, from this moment forward, forgive this human being.
joe rogan
And the problem is, now here's where it gets slippery, if you decide you're gonna be the guy who says, I'm gonna kill this guy.
andrew santino
Someone that executes him?
joe rogan
Yeah.
If you decide, if you live in a...
I mean, look, that's what we're essentially doing.
We're just doing it slow by putting him in a cage.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
But if you were going to really decide, hey, we're going to remove this guy from the population.
I can't trust him with my kids.
We live in a primitive society, okay?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
We live in some village-type society thousands of years ago, right?
That's what we all did.
What would we do when someone was like that?
Well, we'd probably try to figure out a way to get rid of him.
andrew santino
Yeah, you'd kill him.
joe rogan
You'd have to kill him.
andrew santino
Yeah, you'd have to.
joe rogan
But you would have to figure out...
What are the laws that allow someone to kill somebody?
Because you can't just let people kill people.
Because you let people kill people, then you just come up with excuses to kill people.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
And this is what people have done throughout history, whether it's the Mongols or the Romans.
I mean, just go throughout history.
unidentified
Vikings.
joe rogan
People have fucking killed people because they could kill people.
So when do you...
What is the moral distinction that you have to make where someone is...
They have done irreparable harm.
andrew santino
But that changes over time.
joe rogan
Right.
andrew santino
And that continually changes.
That's my point.
That will never stop changing from decade to decade, from era to era.
What we find deplorable now will not be deplorable later.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And we see it with so many aspects of our culture.
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
Literature, movies.
andrew santino
Yes.
The way we restrict.
So what we're saying is, is there ever a line?
joe rogan
Is there ever a line?
andrew santino
Does it ever exist?
Does that idea of like, this is the cutoff, does that really exist?
Because it's constantly moving.
It's constantly changing.
I've said it a million times.
I've never said what Louis did was okay.
I think he has his issues.
joe rogan
I don't think anybody has.
andrew santino
But I also think everybody needs to investigate what happened and find out.
joe rogan
He's got to talk about it.
andrew santino
Yes.
Let him talk about it.
Find out what the social psychology of what he was going through.
Disturbed.
joe rogan
But what I think is happening, too, is that a lot of women feel like When these guys that are abusers got taken out, that it made it so that it was better for women and so that if they come back, things go back the way they were.
That's a real thought, you know?
andrew santino
Yes, but we must have conversation.
If we don't have conversation, then we're fucked.
joe rogan
I mean that's a real thought with – imagine being a guy like Harvey Weinstein who was doing this for so long, getting away with all this fucked up shit for so long.
andrew santino
Supported by the way.
unidentified
Supported.
andrew santino
Supported.
joe rogan
I mean he had a clause in his contract.
Detailing what would happen for the first case of sexual harassment, second case, third case, in the contract.
andrew santino
So why aren't they up?
Why aren't the people that support him up?
joe rogan
Hey Cheeto, I'd love you to join my podcast network.
I'm thinking about promoting you.
andrew santino
I'm in.
joe rogan
I just think you're a great guy.
You're a funny guy.
You're a talented guy.
But I think you might be a raper.
So what I want to put is the first rape, I'm going to charge you this much.
What the fuck?
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
Imagine the first sexual harassment has got a figure, and the second one, a lawsuit has another figure, a double the figure.
andrew santino
They're like, three strikes are out.
joe rogan
But it's not something he can't afford.
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
It's like $250,000, $500,000.
He's like a billionaire.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's Harvey Weinstein.
andrew santino
He goes, fine.
joe rogan
He made Pulp Fiction.
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll clear it up.
unidentified
I'll clear it up.
joe rogan
He's eating food while they're talking.
There's fucking crumbs all down his face.
andrew santino
I'll take care of those numbers.
unidentified
He's jerking off.
joe rogan
He's jerking off while they're talking.
He's just a glutton.
He's just a glutton.
andrew santino
A filthy, fat fucking glutton.
joe rogan
You can't make a better case for a glutton than that guy.
andrew santino
He's a metaphor for the business, by the way.
All-consuming, taking, right?
joe rogan
And the looks, too.
andrew santino
Yeah.
joe rogan
He would ruin what's beautiful.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Take what's beautiful and fuck his mouth.
andrew santino
He broke pretty things.
joe rogan
With his fat gut resting on their forehead.
andrew santino
He ruined pretty things.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
It's horrible.
He fucked up pretty things.
joe rogan
Horrible.
andrew santino
Fuck that guy.
joe rogan
But it's interesting because that is a villain in a movie.
He's a villain in a movie.
andrew santino
Yes, he's like a bad Dick Tracy character.
joe rogan
More modern.
He's a villain.
He's a villain.
More.
In a fucking Harvey Weinstein movie is what he is.
andrew santino
Oh, yeah.
Someone will make that film.
joe rogan
He's a villain.
No, but he's a villain in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
andrew santino
Right.
joe rogan
If there was a guy who was doing dark shit and then one of the girls winds up being like some kick-ass female character winds up shooting him and killing him.
Like I said, Hannah.
What the fuck's her name?
andrew santino
Who?
joe rogan
The woman who's in Kill Bill.
Not Uma Thurman, but Daryl Hannah.
Daryl Hannah.
Yeah, Daryl Hannah.
Daryl Hannah winds up killing him.
andrew santino
Tight.
joe rogan
Like, kills him with a brick.
unidentified
Boom, boom.
andrew santino
Busts his fucking head open.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Like, Patricia Arquette when she killed Tony Soprano.
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
Remember?
andrew santino
Yes.
joe rogan
Right?
andrew santino
Like that.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
andrew santino
Shit was dope.
joe rogan
Fuck yeah!
unidentified
Shit was dope.
But that was perfect.
joe rogan
He was the perfect character.
That Tony Soprano character that she killed when James Gandolfini in True Romance...
Was it Patricia Arquette?
jamie vernon
Sounds like it.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's right, right?
andrew santino
Isn't it Patricia?
joe rogan
There's two Arquettes.
andrew santino
No.
joe rogan
What's the other Arquette?
There's two Arquettes.
andrew santino
No, no, no.
Patricia Arquette.
joe rogan
It was Patricia.
andrew santino
David and Patricia.
joe rogan
No, no.
There's a girl.
There's another girl.
andrew santino
There is?
Am I tripping?
joe rogan
No, no, no.
andrew santino
There is.
joe rogan
Don't you shake your head, bitch.
jamie vernon
There was.
joe rogan
She's dead?
andrew santino
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
Which one?
andrew santino
You sure?
joe rogan
Bro, you better not be wrong, because that's even worse.
It's bad if you miss it.
jamie vernon
She's not dead now.
unidentified
No!
andrew santino
Jamie!
joe rogan
Fucked up, Jamie!
andrew santino
Jamie!
joe rogan
Roseanne Arquette.
andrew santino
Roseanne Arquette.
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
She's been in a gang of movies, too.
She was in Pulp Fiction.
Was she?
Yes.
Roseanne Arquette was in Pulp Fiction.
She was a part of when Vinnie Barbarino had the girl overdose.
unidentified
The overdose.
andrew santino
Yeah, that was her.
That's right.
That was her.
joe rogan
They had a helper.
Yeah.
That was her that she was helping Uma Thurman.
andrew santino
She was the girl that had shit all over her face, as he said.
unidentified
Did she?
andrew santino
He goes, who's the girl with the shit all over her face?
And he goes, that's my wife.
And he's like, oh shit.
joe rogan
Were they like piercings or something?
andrew santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She had piercings.
unidentified
Right?
andrew santino
Wasn't that it?
He goes, how's the chick with shit all over her face?
Yeah, there she is.
And then he goes, that's my fucking wife, man.
joe rogan
What a movie, man.
What a fucking movie.
Anyway...
andrew santino
Easily one of the best films ever made, always.
joe rogan
Amazing movie.
But Patricia Arquette in True Romance, when she killed James Gandolfini, she's killing the glutton.
She's killing the big, disgusting, asshole man.
That big, asshole, shitty man who doesn't give a fuck about women and he's going to kill her, but she's Fucking...
She fucking kills him.
And you're like, yes!
She's got blood coming down her face.
It's crazy.
andrew santino
Shit is dope.
joe rogan
That's a great fucking scene.
andrew santino
Great movie.
That is.
That scene, by the way.
That Pulp Fiction scene.
The heart revival scene.
joe rogan
Nuts.
andrew santino
Just awesome.
joe rogan
Nuts.
andrew santino
Awesome.
joe rogan
So many scenes in that movie.
You're like, what?
I remember I saw that movie when I first moved to Hollywood.
It was like 1994, I think.
I first moved here, and I was watching that movie.
unidentified
I was like, is this what it's like out here?
jamie vernon
They're saying his new movie is awesome.
He said it's his best movie he's made since then, and I've heard the reviews are awesome, and they're telling the audiences to not spoil it for the rest of the people that are going to see it.
andrew santino
Was it Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?
jamie vernon
Yeah, it comes out in like a month.
andrew santino
Brad Pitt.
Who else?
jamie vernon
Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio.
andrew santino
And Margot Robbie?
jamie vernon
Yep.
They redid a bunch of Hollywood and made it look like the 70s.
You can still see some of it on Sunset.
If you haven't realized why some of it's been repainted in weird ways, it was because of those scenes they were shooting there.
andrew santino
So I picked...
You know Ben Harper, the musician?
Yes.
joe rogan
Couldn't name a song, but I know who he is.
andrew santino
Yeah.
He's a dope dude.
Him and I were going to dinner at Musso and Frank's and he likes that place.
joe rogan
That place is amazing.
andrew santino
He goes, meet me at Musso and Frank's.
I love Musso and Frank's.
And I show up there and I'm like, dude, what the fuck is going on?
Sure enough, they're shooting...
jamie vernon
Half the movie takes place in there.
andrew santino
Right there.
Right there.
jamie vernon
Because it still looks like that, so that was like the best place for them to do it.
So that's where they go hang out.
joe rogan
So they let you eat dinner while they're filming a movie?
andrew santino
Right.
They just finished.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
andrew santino
That's crazy.
I told the guy, I go, something's got to be going on.
He's like, oh, yeah, you guys are okay.
Just take a selfie.
unidentified
Nah.
joe rogan
With the set.
unidentified
Nah.
joe rogan
Reach back.
andrew santino
Nah.
You know what?
I cooled it out.
I act like I've been here before.
joe rogan
Jesus, dude.
jamie vernon
It's already 610. This is them eating there, actually, right there.
And the trailer's from the trailer.
unidentified
Oh.
joe rogan
Amazing.
andrew santino
That's that?
No.
Yeah, that is it.
Muson Franks.
That's Muson Franks.
joe rogan
That place is amazing.
That's another super old school.
andrew santino
It feels, it feels, you know what?
It fucking feels like it's been there 100 years.
unidentified
Have you been, Jamie?
jamie vernon
Yeah, for my birthday, yeah.
andrew santino
Love Muson Franks.
joe rogan
Dope place.
andrew santino
That should be a place we should go to.
unidentified
Muson Franks.
joe rogan
And we could do that before a show, you know?
andrew santino
I would love that.
joe rogan
Have dinner like gentlemen.
andrew santino
Like adults.
joe rogan
Have a scotch with a big piece of ice.
andrew santino
Have a scotch with some ice and some steak.
Suck my dick.
Here we go.
Give me the check.
Give me the check.
jamie vernon
I feel like Mick Jagger likes to go there all the time too with Keith Richards and shit.
joe rogan
Oh my god, I hope we see Mick Jagger.
unidentified
Oh my god.
joe rogan
I hope we do.
andrew santino
Really?
Does he like to go there?
jamie vernon
They went there before they had their concert on Hollywood Boulevard.
joe rogan
Button your tail.
andrew santino
Can you believe that motherfucker can still dance?
joe rogan
Bro, he had a heart attack, had open heart surgery or whatever he had.
andrew santino
Fuck it.
joe rogan
And he was on stage like a month later strutting his shit.
He just wants to just do it.
andrew santino
That just means the universe wants him to live.
joe rogan
He's a beast.
andrew santino
He's a beast.
He lived.
joe rogan
He works out on it every day.
Multiple times a day.
andrew santino
Does he?
unidentified
Button your lip, baby.
joe rogan
Yeah, he does dancing and yoga and lifts weights, all kinds of shit.
andrew santino
There was a period where he never worked out once.
jamie vernon
I don't know.
andrew santino
Is that true?
Yeah, when he was on the road, there's no way.
joe rogan
I would imagine.
jamie vernon
Back on stage 11 weeks after having heart surgery.
andrew santino
Fucking unreal.
joe rogan
Sounds like me, bro.
jamie vernon
75 years old.
joe rogan
That's what I do, bro.
andrew santino
Sounds like me, bro.
joe rogan
I know, bro.
andrew santino
If I'm getting heart surgery, I'm done.
That's it.
joe rogan
You think so?
andrew santino
Yeah.
I'm walking a lot.
joe rogan
Snort that arse neck off someone's dick.
unidentified
Pfft.
joe rogan
Enough!
andrew santino
Take a bunch of water from Target or whatever the fuck it was.
joe rogan
Where was the water from?
jamie vernon
He works out three hours a day.
andrew santino
Three hours?
jamie vernon
That's what their guitarist said.
The doctor said they've never operated on an athlete at 75 before.
So they had a really good laugh about that.
And they said, he's so fit.
He works out three hours a day.
andrew santino
How old is he now?
75?
joe rogan
If you keep going, you can keep going.
But if you slow down and stop, your shit will break.
andrew santino
Joe Rogan.
joe rogan
That's the message of the day, ladies and gentlemen.
andrew santino
Great fucking quote.
joe rogan
We're going to wrap this up.
People on the road.
Chito Santino will be with me this weekend.
Friday and motherfucking Saturday.
Friday at the Borgata in Atlantic City.
Two shows.
And then Saturday in Baltimore.
I don't know where we are.
Go to JoeRogan.com.
Some big-ass place with the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe.
The Whiskey Ginger Podcast is available.
andrew santino
Everywhere.
jamie vernon
All right.
joe rogan
You're beautiful, baby.
andrew santino
I love you.
unidentified
I love you.
andrew santino
I love you, baby.
unidentified
I love you, buddy.
joe rogan
Fun times as always.
Shout out to young Jamie.
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