June 19, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:01:37
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Boom, and we're live. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, Charlemagne, the God, my man, Andrew Schultz, thank you for being here. | ||
| Thank you for setting this up. | ||
| Thank you for having me, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My pleasure. | |
| I've been a fan of yours for a while. | ||
| I think you're the last great radio host, and you will be the last famous radio host, because I think radio is a dying thing. | ||
| You're the last great one. | ||
| You're the one who made it famous from radio. | ||
| Who the fuck else? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In this era? | ||
| I mean, yeah, I think radio is like one of those rare lanes where it's really not a lot of people who prosper in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Especially in the black radio space. | ||
| I mean, you've got the Tom Joyners, the Doug Banks, the Wendy Williams. | ||
| So it's rare in that lane. | ||
| But I think you've got people that have established good careers in radio. | ||
| But that's a great question. | ||
| Who is the last one? | ||
| He's the last one. | ||
| That's the last samurai. | ||
| You're the last person to become famous from radio. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Last samurai. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I gotta give Bobby Bones. | ||
| Bobby Bones. | ||
| Well, that's nice. | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| Shots fired! | ||
| Shots fired! | ||
| I know who you are! | ||
| Sorry, Bobby. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| I'm sure he's great. | ||
| He's a nationally syndicated radio host, but he's on the country stage. | ||
| He just won Dancing with the Stars. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Joe's like, I don't give a shit. | ||
| I only know Bobby B as you talk about him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's got two New York Times bestselling books. | ||
| That's one of those things, though. | ||
| It's like comedians. | ||
| You talk about a comic that everybody loves, and people are like, I've never heard of him. | ||
| Like, amongst comics, super respected. | ||
| Bobby, he hosts on Idol now. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, and we're around the same age, so I would have to give it, I would have to put him in that. | ||
| Well, you and Bobby. | ||
| You're a gracious man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In my opinion, you're the last samurai. | ||
| Dude, it's true. | ||
| It's a dead era. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| I see guys like you, I just want to snatch you up and bring you over to podcasts. | ||
| I'm like, get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Get out of that censored boss man world. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| Keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep going on this. | |
| I know you guys have a podcast together. | ||
| Brilliant idiots. | ||
| You know PodTrack, right? | ||
| Yeah, sure, sure. | ||
| We just cracked PodTrack, the Breakfast Club. | ||
| He's number 20 on PodTrack. | ||
| Okay, so you put that online as well. | ||
| Yeah, we put it out as a podcast. | ||
| Because I feel like with radio, that's what it is. | ||
| People still listen to terrestrial radio, but you have to go where the people are. | ||
| So you have to have the podcast. | ||
| You have to have the YouTube following. | ||
| You can't wait for people just to come to radio every day. | ||
| I wish I could swear, though. | ||
| So that's the problem with radio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, they do. | |
| That's the thing. | ||
| So they release all the interviews they do on Breakfast Club, and those things explode. | ||
| Yeah, on YouTube. | ||
| And they have all the curses and everything like that. | ||
| That's where I found out about it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I think that's where most people globally would watch and listen. | ||
| I mean, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's what separates this era of radio from other eras of radio. | ||
| Like Howard Stern didn't have YouTube. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If Howard Stern had YouTube, it wouldn't be no question. | ||
| He'd still be the motherfucking guy. | ||
| I mean, even though he is the guy. | ||
| But he'd still be like super, super the guy in this era. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's in that paywall, which is very strange. | ||
| That's serious paywall. | ||
| That's the strangest paywall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But then you get financial independence, man. | |
| Let's be realistic. | ||
| He was already financially independent. | ||
| So why'd he do it? | ||
| The numbers they're throwing at him. | ||
| Yeah, that was a different level. | ||
| It was $300 million, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Well, I think that was just initially. | ||
| Yeah, that's the difference. | ||
| I think he makes like $100 million every year or something crazy. | ||
| So $300 million was flat and then another $100 million. | ||
| And then he has so much stock. | ||
| That's the difference between your kids being scraped and your great-great-great-grandkids being scraped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, but stock in serious to me is like blockbuster stock. | ||
| hang on to that I'm about to stop Mitch something at some point because Netflix came to fuck alone yeah yeah I remember when Netflix used to have those DVDs that you would get like in front of the fucking supermarket yeah the red box yeah yeah and you have to send them back I'm not sending this back. | ||
| No, I was so funny. | ||
| I was home this weekend. | ||
| I was in Monks Corner, South Carolina, and there was a Black Panther DVD from the library in my mom's house. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| The library? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Black Panther isn't the original Black Panthers? | ||
| No, the movie that just came out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, yo, she was true from back in the day. | |
| Okay. | ||
| That's an original Black Panther. | ||
| I'm like, who got the Black Panther DVD that they checked out from the library and have not bought it back yet? | ||
| You didn't even bring it back to the library yet? | ||
| No, you don't have to. | ||
| What are they really going to do? | ||
| Why would you bring the Black Panther from the library? | ||
| Because you wanted it and it was there and you were at the library. | ||
| I'm still trying to understand why you call it library. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Library. | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| I didn't graduate college. | ||
| Library. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Library. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of those words, you know? | ||
| Don't bail him out! | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, especially? | ||
| You talk to people in Texas, they say, especially. | ||
| But everyone, even like George Bush, when he was president, would say, especially. | ||
| That's a Texas thing. | ||
| Yeah, I think a lot of it has to do with region, because I still say, street, street, strong. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's how I pronounce it. | ||
| Screech, screech, scrum. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Scrumptious. | ||
| I say pacifically. | ||
| Oh, pacifically. | ||
| Pacifically instead of specifically. | ||
| As long as everybody knows, then it's fun. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| If you understand what a person is saying, why correct them? | ||
| He's been a dick. | ||
| Well, it's like dialects. | ||
| Like, my grandparents were from Sicily, and they would talk in dialects, and even people that knew Italian wouldn't know what the fuck they were saying. | ||
| Like, people that knew pure Italian. | ||
| It's some weird, like, pig Latin type shit. | ||
| I mean, my mom's Scottish. | ||
| Like, if you listen to real Scottish people talk, you don't understand what the fuck they're talking about. | ||
| Oh, that accent. | ||
| The way they roll their words together. | ||
| Thick. | ||
| And then they get them drunk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| It's impossible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| Where you from, Joe? | ||
| I was born in New Jersey, and I grew up mostly in Boston, but really all over the country. | ||
| Because you've got a lot of sovereign sensibilities. | ||
| Before we started the podcast, you were talking about all the hunting that you do. | ||
| I didn't get into that until 2012. Wow. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I was thinking about being a vegetarian. | ||
| I was watching these animal rights videos, these PETA videos, and I was like, I don't want to participate in this factory farming shit. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| You watch these pigs slammed into these cages together, and cows, and chickens. | ||
| I was like, This is inhumane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| But then you decided to go out and start killing them yourself? | ||
| I decided one of two things. | ||
| Either I was going to try hunting, and either I was going to become a vegetarian, or I was going to become a hunter. | ||
| And so I became a hunter. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| I killed a deer. | ||
| I ate it. | ||
| I was like, this is perfect. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| Oh, I'm trying to figure out. | ||
| This makes sense. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out the thought process. | ||
| You watched videos where you saw that it was inhumane for these animals to be dying. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| And that made you want to kill them? | ||
| Factory farming. | ||
| Not that they're... | ||
| Look, every animal dies. | ||
| They don't live forever and become angels. | ||
| They live in the wild. | ||
| When you hunt, you dip your feet into the wild. | ||
| You go out there and you fair chase. | ||
| You go find them. | ||
| You track them. | ||
| You stay downwind. | ||
| You get in a good position. | ||
| You kill them. | ||
| And then you eat them. | ||
| And it's a different animal. | ||
| When you're eating that, like if I eat an elk steak, I know that I killed that. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know that. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| Can I see a picture of this elk? | ||
| I'm still trying to imagine what it is because I understand deer and I understand moose. | ||
| It's a giant deer. | ||
| Those antlers are from the elk. | ||
| Those antlers are on like an 800 pound animal. | ||
| How tall is it? | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| They're big. | ||
| Like six feet? | ||
| Oh, taller. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Elk and mushroom. | ||
| Moose is crazy. | ||
| The first time I saw a moose, it was like that scene in Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum looks out the Jeep and sees the dinosaur. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| You can't believe how big a moose is. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a moose in person. | ||
| I've seen an elk in person. | ||
| They're double an elk. | ||
| They're double the size of an elk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| We need to go hunting, man. | ||
| You want to go hunting? | ||
| I'm being dead serious about this. | ||
| I would love to take you hunting. | ||
| Camping and hunting where it's one or the other. | ||
| Well, you could do both. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Or you would want to do... | ||
| Well, you could camp... | ||
| Or you could hunt, rather, and then stay in a nice lodge. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| Yeah, but also, I kind of want to do, like, the... | ||
| The full outdoor. | ||
| Yeah, because sometimes I watch those shows on, like, Nat Geo or something like that, and they're just living off the land, and they've got to, like, make a hut or make a yurt, you know? | ||
| They make it out of snow. | ||
| Yeah, don't do that. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| No. | ||
| But what for like two days? | ||
| Like a cool... | ||
| What you want is like a real tent with a real sleeping bag so you stay warm and you're healthy and you're not worried about fucking freezing to death or anything weird like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And make sure you have water filters so you can drink out of a stream. | ||
| If you really want to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to try it. | ||
| You should try hunting in New York. | ||
| Like nobody's ever done that. | ||
| You can hunt rats. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Think about all them big-ass rats in New York. | ||
| Nobody's ever done that. | ||
| I'm not gonna lie. | ||
| You'll probably get a lot of attention for that shit. | ||
| Bro, back in the day, you could go to 125th Street in Spanish Harlem, and you could buy pigeons. | ||
| People were catching pigeons, and they were selling them and trying to front like they were exotic pigeons. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| I swear to God in my life. | ||
| Well, you know, pigeons were brought over here for food. | ||
| That's what squab is. | ||
| What the fuck is squab? | ||
| Squab is like a bougie restaurant item, and it's actually young pigeons. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that's what squab is. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| All pigeons, all the pigeons you see in the United States are all brought in from somewhere else for food, and then they release to become feral. | ||
| They're like the wild hogs of the bird world. | ||
| What are young rats called that are used for food? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Who uses young rats for food? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| But there's a comic. | ||
| Oh, is it that rats documentary? | ||
| No, this is just the dogs that hunt rats in New York. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I don't believe that shit. | ||
| What do you mean you don't believe it? | ||
| That they're really guys sending their dogs out to go get rats in the city. | ||
| Oh, they are? | ||
| But for what? | ||
| There's so many rats. | ||
| Because they're assholes. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| I mean, they're not going to fix it. | ||
| There's no way to fix it. | ||
| But Jack Russell Terriers, they fuck rats up. | ||
| They're designed to fuck rats up. | ||
| But there's got to be people who live up north in New York who have the same desire to hunt. | ||
| They just don't go down south, so why not go hunt the rats? | ||
| They hunt deer. | ||
| New York has a lot of deer. | ||
| Jersey. | ||
| Yeah, Jersey. | ||
| Jersey got a lot of deer. | ||
| I live in Jersey, and that's one of the reasons I love Jersey, because I'm from South Carolina, so I'm used to seeing deers and possums and just different types of wildlife running through the streets. | ||
| That's why I like living in Jersey. | ||
| Yeah, Jersey's an unusual place. | ||
| Jersey has more black bears per capita than any state in the United States. | ||
| I don't know if that's a fact, but I believe you because I've seen them myself. | ||
| Yeah, they're everywhere. | ||
| You've seen bears on your property. | ||
| Not on my property, but when I used to stay with my aunt in the Poconos, the bears used to come in her backyard because there was like a scream in the backyard, and they would come in there and just grab fish out of the screen. | ||
| They killed a kid. | ||
| One bear killed a kid a couple years ago from one of the colleges. | ||
| What college was it? | ||
| The one near New Brunswick? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| It was right. | ||
| Records, yeah. | ||
| And you've never seen the video in Jersey of the walking bear, the bear that would walk on two feet through people's back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It had a bad fat paw. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Hell yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That shit happens. | |
| There it is. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Look at the video. | ||
| The bear walking around. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah, you know who believes in Bigfoot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have a believer in the studio right now. | ||
| Who believes in Bigfoot? | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, 100% believes in Bigfoot. | |
| But you know why I believe in Bigfoot? | ||
| Because of shit like mooses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| I'm serious. | ||
| If you see a fucking species like a moose, you're like, my God! | ||
| Why would you not believe? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that shit! | |
| At some point in life, somebody was trying to explain that to somebody else, and he was like, man, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Right now, when he's trying to explain it to me. | ||
| Look at the size of that goddamn thing. | ||
| Yeah, that's insane and elegant. | ||
| Look at those legs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Work. | |
| They'll fuck you up, too. | ||
| Those are the rare deer species that will fucking stomp you to death. | ||
| Yeah, they're used to dealing with wolves. | ||
| If they think you're a threat, they just run up on you and stomp you to death. | ||
| Why don't you believe in Bigfoot? | ||
| Well, I actually did a television show where I went hunting for them. | ||
| You were going to do it on Finding Bigfoot? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I did a show called Joe Rogan Questions Everything. | ||
| We spent a whole week in the Pacific Northwest talking to Bigfoot hunters. | ||
| We camped out there. | ||
| Me and Duncan Trussell went and interviewed scientists and interviewed all these different archaeologists, all these different people that didn't believe and did believe. | ||
| It was a real animal at one point in time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't think it exists now. | ||
| I think it existed. | ||
| It's just a primate in the fucking woods. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You don't think it existed. | ||
| Oh, I thought you believed that it exists now. | ||
| I did up to a certain point, but I was like, in this era with all of the cameras and everything else, somebody would have caught one. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| I was a little worried. | ||
| No, I was like, I don't believe in it now. | ||
| I believe it existed at some point, but I don't believe it exists anymore. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| Charlemagne has this amazing power to manifest shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| So, I see... | ||
| How it could lend itself, when you believe something so much it becomes real, right? | ||
| I can see how it manifests itself into things like Bigfoot. | ||
| Like, you believe in things. | ||
| I mean, Sasquatch, it's not a far-fetched idea. | ||
| It's literally just a primate in the woods. | ||
| I'm just saying, when you were young and you believed that you were Teen Wolf. | ||
| Yes, that was true. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm in third grade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did. | |
| But he believed that his ears actually changed shape. | ||
| No, they did. | ||
| I was sitting at the lunch table. | ||
| I was sitting at the lunch table and I was telling everybody I was going to turn into this werewolf at lunchtime. | ||
| And I was saying this for like a week straight and we was all sitting at the table and I was just sitting there like, it's going to happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's happening. | |
| It's happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And my ears actually went from round to pointy for like two seconds. | |
| And when all the kids at the table saw it and jumped up and ran, so they fucked up my concentration. | ||
| So if I had kept that concentration going, I probably would have turned full-fledged werewolf in that moment. | ||
| Maybe levitated. | ||
| Possible. | ||
| I've done that before. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, I grew up Jehovah Witness so I used to leave the Kingdom Hall and I would walk outside of the Kingdom Hall and I would like jump in the air and be looking down at the Kingdom Hall and I'd stay up there for a while and then I would come down. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| He's not doing bits, right? | ||
| He really believes this shit. | ||
| I'm just telling you what happened in my life. | ||
| If you believe it, you believe it. | ||
| If you don't, you don't. | ||
| Memory's a strange thing. | ||
| Ah, you think it's one of those, like, you recreate the past? | ||
| Well, memory's a strange thing. | ||
| Like, you can believe something and know something to be true when it didn't actually happen. | ||
| You can absolutely do that. | ||
| People have memories in their head that never happened. | ||
| You have memories that people have positioned in your head. | ||
| They've proven that you can talk someone into a memory. | ||
| You can change someone's memory. | ||
| That's why it's particularly dangerous for kids. | ||
| There was a whole case where they were talking kids into saying that their teachers molested them. | ||
| And all these people lost their careers, lost their lives. | ||
| It turned out it was all 100% made up. | ||
| But those kids believed it. | ||
| They believed when they were telling them that they were molested. | ||
| They believed it. | ||
| They're coached into it. | ||
| What is it called when you give that information to the police? | ||
| What is it called when they interrogate you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They coerce you. | |
| There was a whole article I was reading the other day about why people make false confessions. | ||
| Why? | ||
| They just get talked into believing that they actually did something. | ||
| If you're a kid, especially a young kid from the hood, and you're like 15, 16 years old, and the police are like, you're going to jail for 20 years if you don't tell us what we need to know. | ||
| You don't fucking know no better. | ||
| Not only that, they put you under duress. | ||
| They put you in a room. | ||
| They sit you across from a position of authority, and this person questions you. | ||
| You start talking. | ||
| You start saying things that aren't true. | ||
| You seem beyond scared straight. | ||
| They tell you you're going to get 20 years and get buttfucked for 15 of them. | ||
| So the first five, they let you kind of settle in for the first five. | ||
| Yeah, you know the butt fucking coming. | ||
| Let that butt get nice and tight. | ||
| Let that butt dry age. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like some elk. | |
| Listen, you might go in underage. | ||
| These criminals got morals and values. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're going to rape you, but not until you're 18. Come on now. | |
| They're not monsters. | ||
| Listen, when I was young, I used to have a red tractor trailer. | ||
| It was a red plastic trailer with a farmer on top of it. | ||
| Like one of those hard plastic trailers. | ||
| That farmer used to get off that trailer and fuck with me. | ||
| And I took it in the yard one day, put kerosene on it, and set it on fire. | ||
| And in my mind, I remember hearing that farmer scream. | ||
| My mom will even tell you the story of how I used to always talk about how this fucking farmer used to come off of this tractor and fuck with me, and she saw me set it on fire. | ||
| And I thought I was crazy until years later I met Tiffany Haddish, and she said she had experiences where her teddy bears used to come to life and fuck with her. | ||
| So, I'm just saying. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Shit happens. | ||
| Did it happen at night? | ||
| I haven't heard this story. | ||
| Did it happen at night? | ||
| When did it happen? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I don't remember the details of when it was at night or during the day. | ||
| That's one of those things they're trying to figure out with UFO abductions. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Almost all those UFO abductions happen while people are sleeping. | ||
| And they think what's happening is your brain is releasing endogenous psychedelic chemicals and it's forcing you to have these hallucinations. | ||
| you're taking aboard these UFOs and gone away. | ||
| But if someone is watching you with a camera, nothing actually happens. | ||
| Question. | ||
| These people swear by it. | ||
| Have you ever had one of those dreams where it feels as if someone's holding you down to the bed? | ||
| That's the hag. | ||
| The hag's riding you. | ||
| The hag, that's a term, right? | ||
| They really call it sleep paralysis. | ||
| But growing up in South Carolina, they would say the hag was riding you. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| You would either put a straw broom at your door or you would take salt and sprinkle salt at your door because when the hag enters your room, you got to pick up every kernel of salt. | ||
| So by the time he picks up every kernel of salt, it's fucking daytime. | ||
| What is a hag? | ||
| A hag was like these little old women that they say would come ride people in the middle of the night. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I think I've seen him before, but it really looks like just a shadowy figure. | ||
| And it's the same feeling. | ||
| You get that feeling like your body is frozen. | ||
| It can't move. | ||
| Your eyes are open. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But you feel like you're talking, but nobody hears you. | ||
| They say that's the hag ride. | ||
| What do they say that is? | ||
| Sleep paralysis? | ||
| Sleep paralysis. | ||
| The blood's not flowing in your body. | ||
| It's like when you're sitting on the toilet too long and your fucking leg goes. | ||
| And your legs go. | ||
| I think it's a psychological thing. | ||
| Your brain is just not sending signals to your body, but you want to move and you just don't. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| I got to move, but I can't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, that shit is frightening. | ||
| I had that before. | ||
| I've had that before. | ||
| When I woke up, you've seen the movie Signs? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it was this creature that looked like he was from the movie Signs, but it was purple and black and it was standing over me. | ||
| And I couldn't... | ||
| Move. | ||
| And so I was making noises, trying to get it to go away, and as the sun came up, it just faded away. | ||
| Now that, I don't know if it was a dream, or an actual visit from extraterrestrials. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| The thing about extraterrestrials... | ||
| You believe in them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| You know I believe in them. | ||
| Well, you believe in everything. | ||
| The reality is... | ||
| You believe in toys that can harass you as a child. | ||
| There's no evidence but the numbers of humans, I mean the numbers of planets rather, that could support humans. | ||
| They're pretty, just what we've documented so far is pretty interesting. | ||
| Just what they know about the thousands of planets they discover. | ||
| There's hundreds that could possibly support human life. | ||
| And then there's hundreds of billions of galaxies. | ||
| So the idea that we're the only one. | ||
| Not only that, Neil deGrasse Tyson explained this to me because this is a mindfuck and a half. | ||
| That the universe is so big that not only... | ||
| Is there another you out there that has done everything exactly as you've done? | ||
| Every pause? | ||
| Like that pause? | ||
| Every pause, down to the second, an infinite number of times. | ||
| Yeah, you're talking about, is it called the infinite universes? | ||
| There's this exact conversation happening with people who look exactly like that because infinity implies that there could be a million. | ||
| And infinite variations. | ||
| There's one where you get up right now and you have to take a piss and you run out of the room. | ||
| Or Charlamagne's there, you're here, I'm there. | ||
| There's one where you get up and you're mad that we don't believe you that you saw Bigfoot or something. | ||
| That kind of shit, the idea that when you think of infinity, we think about it as being really big. | ||
| It's impossible to put in your head that infinite, infinite universes, like the size of the universe, 14 billion light years apart, infinite numbers of those. | ||
| Not only that, they think that inside every galaxy is a supermassive black hole, and inside that black hole may be another universe, with hundreds of billions of galaxies, with hundreds of billions of black holes, inside each one of those hundreds of billions of galaxies, hundreds of billions of black holes, that it's fractal, and that it's impossible for you to even conceive. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's very selfish. | ||
| So you're saying just based on the numbers, there has to be something else. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| Now the question is, is there... | ||
| You gotta be to think that we're the only life in this fucking universe. | ||
| I don't think we're the only life in the universe. | ||
| I'm just saying like, hmm. | ||
| Whether or not it's reached us. | ||
| Well, yeah, I don't think it's reached us. | ||
| And if it has reached us, it's like they have to find a way to bend time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not really. | |
| Because time is the biggest issue, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I'm going to tell you what the problem is. | ||
| We're Earthlings, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And if you look at how diverse the Earth is, there's different species of shit in the woods, different species of shit in the water, different species of shit in the jungle, different species of shit in the sky. | ||
| Why wouldn't the Earth, I mean the universe, be just as diverse? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure it is. | |
| And we're assuming we're the smartest life form in the universe. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm not at all. | ||
| And sure it is. | ||
| All I'm saying is life has an end, right? | ||
| What is the oldest species on the earth right now? | ||
| Would have turtles lived like 200 or some shit like that? | ||
|
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|
Morgan Freeman is the oldest species on the goddamn earth. | |
| So let's say it's 200, 300 years, right? | ||
| Let's say that's the max. | ||
| Now we have 300 years to travel millions of light years away to get to another galaxy, to see other planets, to see if they have some shit. | ||
| And they have the same for us. | ||
| So let's say there is another species that somehow found a way to take the consciousness that they have and put it in a robot that can then last for thousands of years. | ||
| Then they would have the opportunity to come here. | ||
| But we're limited by time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| You will die before you get somewhere. | ||
| Like, we can go to Mars, we can't come back. | ||
| Time. | ||
| I think we're basing that off our intelligence. | ||
| There might be a species in this universe that can fly to Earth the way we fly to L.A. But that's what I'm saying. | ||
| They would have to bend time. | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| What they could do is fold time. | ||
| Or fold it, whatever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Create that wormhole effect where you're going, where instead of it's not linear, it's whatever. | ||
| It's in some movie. | ||
| It was in Event Horizon. | ||
| They talked about how they did that. | ||
| Remember that movie? | ||
| Yeah, and there was another one too with Mackie McConaughey. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Interstellar. | ||
| Interstellar, yeah. | ||
| Where they get into, like, space-time. | ||
| Space-time's really interesting, right? | ||
| It's like, the faster you go, the less you age. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, so if somebody's in a plane flying around... | ||
| In comparison to someone here. | ||
| ...on the Earth, right? | ||
| So if someone's flying around the Earth in a plane versus us sitting on Earth, they will age fractionally less, right? | ||
| So if you just increase their speed and decrease ours, or keep ours at the same, they will, let's say, not age at all compared to us aging, like, 30 years. | ||
| Even crazier. | ||
| Brian Cox... | ||
| I went to see his Cosmos exhibit. | ||
| Wait, that's the astronaut? | ||
| He's a physicist. | ||
| From CERN, from the Large Hadron Collider. | ||
| He has a bunch of different podcasts and shows. | ||
| He said that if you were born, and right next to you, like your mother and you, both put on a watch at the moment you were born, and then you checked that watch 30 years later, if you had a perfect watch, it was never out of time, your watch would have a different time than her watch, because you have gone through time Differently than she has. | ||
| Fractionally. | ||
| Because the amount of – how fast you travel, you experience time in a different way, the path you take in life, the different terrain you travel over the earth, all those factors play in to how much time has passed while you're alive. | ||
| Let's say you live on the top of a mountain and she lives at the bottom. | ||
| You're actually traveling at a faster rate, right? | ||
| Because it's no different than like, let's say there's a ball on a tether, right? | ||
| And you're just swinging it around in a circle, right? | ||
| The ball at the end is actually going faster than your hand in the middle swinging around. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So since you're going faster, you're actually aging slower. | ||
| And we're talking about fractions of seconds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But over the course of time, it proves that everyone experiences time at a slightly different rate. | ||
| Which proves Einstein's theory that if you do travel very fast in a spaceship and then come back, you would look at your brother who was your age and now he's 100 years old and you're only 30. So I think I figured it out, how we can time travel. | ||
| Or not time travel, but I think I figured it out. | ||
| So we're trying to create... | ||
| Okay, and again, I don't know shit, but this is just me pontificating. | ||
| Brilliant idiot logic. | ||
| This is brilliant idiot shit right here. | ||
| Okay, so what we have to do is go faster than the speed of light in order to time travel. | ||
| I don't know how to do that just yet. | ||
| But what I think we can do is we're trying to use rockets to propel us at a certain mile per hour to get close to the speed of light. | ||
| Fuck the rockets. | ||
| Why don't we use light as wind and create a sail that harnesses light? | ||
| And that sail will naturally take us the same speed or as close as we possibly could get to the speed of light. | ||
| They did that in a movie called Sunshine. | ||
| I'm a fucking genius. | ||
| You see this shit, bro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a fucking genius. | |
| I saw Sunshine and didn't tell anybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where the fuck is that? | |
| Sunshine? | ||
| How could you see that movie? | ||
| I don't even know what an elk is. | ||
| Science fiction. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| A science fiction movie. | ||
| I'm talking to Bob Lazar tonight. | ||
| That was the guy I was telling you I wanted to bring you to dinner. | ||
| I'm going. | ||
| You too, as well, if you want to go. | ||
| He's the guy who worked at Area 51. I didn't even know if we could talk about this today. | ||
| He's doing the podcast tomorrow. | ||
| I believe in Area 51. I wasn't going to bring it up. | ||
| Oh, Area 51's real, but this guy literally worked on what he says are alien spacecrafts. | ||
| Spacecraft that sail on sunshine could be the next big thing. | ||
| Jamie! | ||
| Bro, you should work for NASA. Jamie! | ||
| This is public school education. | ||
| He can get you a job at Trump's Space Force. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| And I don't want to do any of the math. | ||
| I just want to throw the ideas out there and I think I got it. | ||
| 10 mil? | ||
| This is a legit Space Force shirt from Trump Tower. | ||
| Tim Dillon bought me this. | ||
| Yo, shouts to Tim. | ||
| I love Tim. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| This is with the real fucking Space Force. | ||
| This is the logo. | ||
| That's hot. | ||
| I thought you got that from Target or something. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I missed that cartoon in that old movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I went to fucking Space Force. | |
| This is the real Space Force, this fucking goofy shit. | ||
| You said you had a friend who works on alien spacecraft? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| That's what I told you tonight. | ||
| He's on the podcast tomorrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But he worked at Area 51. Is he allowed to talk about that shit without getting killed? | |
| He is, because he's been talking about it for decades. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and they've tried to discredit him. | ||
| He's very controversial. | ||
| A lot of people think he's full of shit. | ||
| There's a recent documentary by Jeremy Corbell, and the more you look at the documentary, he knows too many things. | ||
| He knows too many things that prove that he absolutely worked at Area 51. He got arrested for bringing people to a lookout peak to look over where the area where they would launch these spaceships. | ||
| And he's got video of these things flying through the air doing all these maneuvers that no conventional spacecraft could do in 1980, whatever the fuck it was, where he got arrested. | ||
| They must have some type of... | ||
| NDA with extraterrestrials. | ||
| Where they don't talk about it? | ||
| Yeah, I feel like the U.S. government or just governments in general throughout the world have some type of NDA with extraterrestrials. | ||
| The NDA is we'll kill you. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's how it works. | ||
| They probably use the same one Leonardo DiCaprio uses on his girlfriends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he's got the greatest NDA in the history of the game. | |
| For now. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| NDAs mean shit. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about NDAs, bro. | ||
| You can pay people and they don't care. | ||
| They'll come out and talk about it later. | ||
| We had Lisa Ann on a podcast, right? | ||
| The porn star? | ||
| Yeah, called Flagrant 2, right? | ||
| And Lisa Ann came on and she was talking about NDAs and how stupid women are for obeying them. | ||
| And I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| And she's like, what do they have to lose? | ||
| They don't have any money. | ||
| So she's like, you have a bunch of fucking heels in your apartment. | ||
| You think that Leonardo DiCaprio is going to take your heels? | ||
| You could break any fucking NDA, but for whatever reason, they get scared. | ||
| You pay a woman a half a million dollars, tell her to keep her mouth closed. | ||
| She breaks the NDA. In the NDA, it says she has to pay you back. | ||
| What do you want money? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You're going to be waiting on that money forever. | ||
| My favorite one is Bill O'Reilly. | ||
| He had to pay a lady $32 million. | ||
| There's no pussy worth that. | ||
| I need to see what she looks like. | ||
| Can we look at this woman? | ||
| I need to see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bill is into some wild shit. | |
| There's no picture of this woman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need to see $32 million pussy. | |
| I would love to. | ||
| I would love to see what she looks like. | ||
| $32 million? | ||
| He agreed to it. | ||
| He agreed to it. | ||
| He looked into some wild shit, bro. | ||
| He must have did something he didn't want nobody to even remotely hear about. | ||
| Oh, Bill's getting pegged. | ||
| Bill's getting pegged. | ||
| 100% getting... | ||
| It's not even about what actually happened. | ||
| It's about what the person said they did to you that can ruin your reputation. | ||
| She's got pics. | ||
| Especially in 2019. She's got pics. | ||
| She's got pics. | ||
| She's got videos. | ||
| Something's going in Bill's ass guaranteed. | ||
| DNA. She's got his shit under her thumbnail. | ||
| I guarantee. | ||
| And then a guy like Bill has to keep a certain standard about himself. | ||
| You have to look at him a certain way in order to listen to what he's saying. | ||
| In order to take his information correctly, I guess. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| So he could lose all that equity in his audience if he's out there doing wild shit. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He didn't help him. | ||
| He's gone anyway. | ||
| Is it over for Bill? | ||
| Well, he's not on Fox News anymore. | ||
| He's podcasting now. | ||
| He was the number one guy. | ||
| And they were like, not worth it. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They got Bill the fuck out of here. | ||
| Y'all be talking about cancel culture. | ||
| Bill really got canceled. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| In a big way. | ||
| And I think he does do some type of broadcasting now, but nobody cares. | ||
| Well, he let out a book, and the book was number one New York Times bestseller. | ||
| After Fox? | ||
| Yeah, he does these history books. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't even think he writes them. | ||
| I think he just puts his name on it. | ||
| I wonder about a guy like Bill though. | ||
| Because think about it. | ||
| You started your own platform. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And people really care about your voice. | ||
| Do people ever really care about Bill's voice? | ||
| That's the thing, right? | ||
| Old white people did. | ||
| Nah, but check it, right? | ||
| So it's like sometimes you become a mouthpiece for a network or for an ideology they believe in. | ||
| And this is the difference. | ||
| This is how you find out if people really fuck with you. | ||
| The second you leave that network. | ||
| It's like when people leave ESPN and you never hear about them again. | ||
| It's like, oh, you thought you were bigger than ESPN? Right. | ||
| You thought you were bigger than the sports? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck out of here. | |
| They just want you to say strike. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ball. | |
| That's it. | ||
| So I think we learned that Bill really didn't have all that cachet that we thought we had. | ||
| ESPN is a good analogy. | ||
| That's why you got to give people like Skip Bayless props. | ||
| You got to give Janelle Hill props. | ||
| They can go other places and people still care about what they have to say. | ||
| Even if it's just in tweets. | ||
| I don't even know what Bill O'Reilly's Twitter handle is. | ||
| I imagine something like Bill O'Reilly. | ||
| I'm sure it is, but you don't ever see him, he's never known for like, oh, Bill O'Reilly said this on social media. | ||
| When's the last time you heard Bill O'Reilly say something? | ||
| He might not even be on. | ||
| They made some news. | ||
| Yeah, he might not even be on. | ||
| It's tough, bro. | ||
| Yeah, he's podcasting from his apartment or something like that. | ||
| Dude, there's no background, nothing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's bad. | ||
| He's not even wearing suits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got like a NASA rugby shirt. | |
| Dude, it's Bill O'Rogan, bro. | ||
| Bro, we gotta look him up. | ||
| We gotta see the girl he fucked and him and see how they're living right now. | ||
| I think guys like that, they say, we'll just lay low for a couple years and then someone will scoop you up again. | ||
| But there's only one Fox. | ||
| And when Fox lets you go, if you're one of those guys, those neocon guys, you don't really have any place else to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| And he's too old to really understand the landscape of how to navigate this new internet space. | ||
| Because you've got plenty of conservative voices who don't have those big platforms. | ||
| The Candace Owens, Tommy Lawrence. | ||
| Ben Shapiro's not on TV. Look at him. | ||
| Wow, no makeup. | ||
| Look at the undershirt. | ||
| He's wearing a nurse's outfit underneath that button down. | ||
| He's got no pants on for sure. | ||
| He guaranteed. | ||
| Yeah, that's dad O'Reilly. | ||
| Yo, I think that is a Space Force shirt for real under the button down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That really is! | |
| Look at him! | ||
| Dude! | ||
| What size is that button-up shirt? | ||
| Did that chick take his wardrobe? | ||
| He's got a fat gut now. | ||
| He's been drinking. | ||
| No, this is not good. | ||
| No Spin News. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch the full No Spin News. | |
| BillOReilly.com. | ||
| No, we need to get some new shirts, bro. | ||
| They got 581,000 views on whatever video that is. | ||
| What is this on Twitter? | ||
| There are no charges. | ||
| You are presumed innocent in this country. | ||
| This is not what the left wants. | ||
| What is this about? | ||
| What is he ranting about? | ||
| April 19th, but maybe we tripping. | ||
| The Mueller report. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scroll down. | |
| How many people are watching that? | ||
| How many people have him on Twitter? | ||
| How many followers do you have? | ||
| Three million followers he has. | ||
| And that video had 581,000 views. | ||
| Can you look at him right there in that video, right? | ||
| Now go down. | ||
| Now scroll down. | ||
| Do you think he's doing the orange thing to reflect Trump? | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| He's bringing him in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That's 100% the orange thing. | ||
| He looks like turmeric. | ||
| Yeah, but he don't look anything like he looks in real life. | ||
| That's like an Instagram hoe. | ||
| One of those weird filters. | ||
| Like, look at him there. | ||
| Look at him there. | ||
| That's fashion overbuilt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at him there. | |
| Look at him there. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| If you met him in a restaurant, you'd be like, wait a minute. | ||
| You gotta update your picture, son. | ||
| That's probably why you had to pay that woman $32 million. | ||
| She's fucking disappointed. | ||
| Yo, go down. | ||
| It keeps getting more orange. | ||
| Go down. | ||
| Bro, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yo, maybe we tripping. | ||
| Maybe people are watching Bill O'Reilly. | ||
| They're definitely watching it. | ||
| He's got 500,000 views. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're definitely watching it. | ||
| But now he's in the vacuum. | ||
| But it's those crazy old white people that live in Kansas. | ||
| Yeah, but they don't have Twitter. | ||
| Hey, man, a win is a win. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If you got 580,000 people that can watch when you put up a video and you can still get paid for it, I'm cool with that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think we put too much emphasis on, like, whatever main scream. | ||
| There's no such thing as main scream, because there's not just one scream anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now it's over. | ||
| That's why, and shouts at Brendan Shaw, that's why we wanted you guys to connect. | ||
| Because I feel like you guys represent... | ||
| I think you are both the most influential people in media. | ||
| Don't put that kind of pressure on me. | ||
| Put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. | ||
| I think it's important! | ||
| I think it's important! | ||
| No, because I think you guys represent, and I think the illusion was, before I went on here for the first time, the illusion was that these things operated in separate spheres. | ||
| That there were these different vacuums, like the Charlemagne world, and then the Rogan world. | ||
| And then I went on, and I found all these people that knew me from our podcast, That also listen to yours, right? | ||
| So it turned out in that moment, I was like, oh shit, it's not as fractured as people think. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Everybody's aware. | ||
| Yeah, people have always been hitting me for years. | ||
| Like, yo, you got to go on Joe Rogan, you got to go on Joe Rogan, you got to go on Joe Rogan. | ||
| So it's clearly that the worlds collide. | ||
| It's all interconnected. | ||
| Especially this internet wave that we're on right now. | ||
| The internet wave, people are craving this type of information. | ||
| They're craving the type of interviews you guys are doing and talking to the people you guys are talking to, right? | ||
| And, I don't know, for me this is really cool just to see this. | ||
| People like the fact that everybody could do everybody's show. | ||
| It's not like Jimmy Kimmel never does like the Seth Meyers show. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like everything is not, that world is very disconnected. | ||
| Whereas this world, the internet world is like, like for the comics and podcasts, there's no competition. | ||
| Everybody helps everybody. | ||
| Everybody supports everybody. | ||
| No, you help everybody. | ||
| I mean, that's one thing I've always noticed about your platform. | ||
| Like, you've always bought on up-and-coming comedians who just needed that extra push for people to know who the fuck they are. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's important. | ||
| I saw you had Miss Pat on yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love her. | |
| Shout out to Miss Pat. | ||
| How could you not love Miss Pat? | ||
| Shout out to Miss Pat, bro. | ||
| Genuinely funny. | ||
| Miss Pat is a force of nature. | ||
| And her story is insane. | ||
| Like, you can only take a story that sad and that tragic and turn it into a sitcom. | ||
| She was talking yesterday about her ex-husband who shot her in the titty, shot her in the head, shot her in the titty, shot her in the back of the head, shot her in the titty, got her pregnant, was fucking her when she was 12, got her pregnant when she was 14, with two kids by the time she was 16. She had an abortion when she was 16 with his third kid. | ||
| She called him up to try to get him to apologize to her. | ||
| He wouldn't apologize to her, so she forgave him, and she said it released this huge weight off of her shoulder. | ||
| She was talking about it. | ||
| Like, you can't believe her story. | ||
| I'm not with that shit either. | ||
| She's laughing about... | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| Yeah, that whole forgiveness thing. | ||
| We talk about that all the time. | ||
| I'm not with that whole, like, I forgive you and it makes me feel better. | ||
| I'm fine not fucking with you. | ||
| I'm fine saying fuck this guy. | ||
| Fuck this person. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I don't have to forgive you. | ||
| I saw the Emanuel movie just came out. | ||
| The shooting that happened in Charlton, South Carolina. | ||
| And all of the family members forgave Dylann Roof. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| There's one dude in there that's like, fuck him, he killed my mama. | ||
| I'm not forgiving him. | ||
| I'm like, yes! | ||
| That's a perfectly fine emotion. | ||
| You go talk to your therapist about it. | ||
| You allow yourself to feel like, yes, fuck him. | ||
| Why do we feel like we gotta forgive and the weight comes off our shoulders? | ||
| I think for her, it was like she was carrying it around her whole life. | ||
| You know, I think for her it just helped her. | ||
| And she knew he was a piece of shit. | ||
| When she was talking to him, she said to him, like, you were fucking me when I was 12 years old. | ||
| And he literally said this to her, your mind, your body wasn't 12. That's what he said to her. | ||
| And she was just like... | ||
| So she decided after that, like, I'm not going to invest my energy in this. | ||
| I'm going to... | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| So she just doesn't fuck with him, doesn't talk with him, but she doesn't carry around the hate that was poisoning her. | ||
| Yeah, I get it, and I understand the power of forgiveness. | ||
| There's a reason why it exists, right? | ||
| There's a reason why it's still here for thousands of years, this idea of, hey, let's forgive so that we can feel better. | ||
| I think usually things get weeded out if they don't work. | ||
| Well, it's hard to forgive someone who doesn't feel bad about what they did. | ||
| It's one thing if you're like, man, I fucked up. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Please forgive me. | ||
| You're like, I get it. | ||
| You're a person. | ||
| Human beings make mistakes. | ||
| I forgive you. | ||
| But if someone is like, you weren't 12 with your mind and your body, and he's talking about fucking you when you were 12 years old. | ||
| Like, I have an 11-year-old daughter. | ||
| The idea of a grown man fucking her. | ||
| No, we've got to go bow hunting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, you're not going to forgive him. | ||
| No. | ||
| You might fuck him up, and then after you fuck him up, you'd be like, you know what? | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You put a fucking arrow in his fucking gut. | ||
| In his head, that's it. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's all good. | ||
| So maybe forgiveness is misconstrued. | ||
| Maybe you're not actually forgiving the person and letting them offer what they did, but maybe you're just removing them from your consciousness. | ||
| People forgive when they're not going to do shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| People forgive when they have realized I'm not going to slap this shit out there. | ||
| It's like when someone huge punches you in the face, you're like, I forgive you, bro. | ||
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm attaching myself to Jesus because I can't carry this no more. | |
| Mike says and spits in your face. | ||
| I forgive you, Mike. | ||
| We don't know what we do. | ||
| We don't know what we do sometimes. | ||
| We make mistakes. | ||
| We all make mistakes out here. | ||
| In the street when somebody gets punched in the face and be like, yo, alright, you got it. | ||
| That's forgiveness. | ||
| I'm a Christian. | ||
| I'm not going to be out here fighting you, Mike. | ||
| You're not going to attach me to the worst parts of my nature. | ||
| By the way, that's probably when I would get to that point of forgiveness. | ||
| When you want to do something to somebody so bad, but when you get the opportunity, you don't. | ||
| And you realize it's not that important to you. | ||
| Then, at that moment, I might be like, you know what? | ||
| God bless you, man. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I wish him the best. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| When you guys have surpassed people in your career that were pieces of shit to you as you were coming up, did the anger that you had towards them totally leave your body? | ||
| No. | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
| You hold on to that shit. | ||
| I write books about it. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| I'm mortalized forever. | ||
| You like Jordan at the press conference? | ||
| I'm mortalized forever. | ||
| I need you. | ||
| And by the way, God bless you, but the facts are the facts. | ||
| You did fire me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, Boogie D from Philly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy is wild. | |
| This guy is dead. | ||
| You did fire me for no fucking reason. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did. | |
| It happened. | ||
| I know you're listening. | ||
| Hey, Boogie, what you doing right now? | ||
| Boogie, how you feeling? | ||
| He does radio in St. Louis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does? | |
| Yeah, yeah, because they told him that if he fired me and whatever he bought in didn't work, they was going to send him back to St. Louis because he had moved from St. Louis to be the PD in Philly. | ||
| And so he fired me. | ||
| What he bought in didn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they kept their word. | ||
| And they sent him back. | ||
| Back in St. Louis. | ||
| It's probably the best thing for him, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But everything worked out for everybody. | ||
| He's living a great life in St. Louis. | ||
| I'm living a great life... | ||
| Life. | ||
| Have you seen that Jordan... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What did he get into? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Not the ultimate. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| It was... | ||
| Hall of Fame. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Hall of Fame speech. | |
| He wouldn't stop talking about journalists. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| He remembered every single thing. | ||
| And that was his... | ||
| He's Bernard Hopkins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| Remember Bernard Hopkins is a fighter? | ||
| He needed to be the villain. | ||
| He needed to be the heel for the motivation. | ||
| Y'all don't use that? | ||
| Y'all don't have people that's shitting on y'all and like... | ||
| When I surpass them, it goes away. | ||
| When I surpass them, it goes away. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like bullying. | ||
| I'm not saying it goes away, but I have to remind you. | ||
| I have to remind you that you told me I wasn't going to make it. | ||
| I have to tell you this. | ||
| When I was starting out as a comic, and it was rough in New York, and motherfuckers were just dickheads to you, I used to carry a list of people who were pieces of shit in my wallet. | ||
| Of all the people, I was going to say, fuck you two when I passed them. | ||
| And as I would start to pass them, I felt zero anger. | ||
| I almost started to feel bad. | ||
| I was like, oh shit, you're still in the same place. | ||
| That's why you were a dick to me, because I was all you had to be a dick to. | ||
| Well, that's the type of person that is a dick to someone who's coming up. | ||
| The person who's like, it's famine mentality. | ||
| You think there's not enough. | ||
| So you try to keep people away. | ||
| Get away, get away. | ||
| Whereas the people that don't have famine mentality are like, come on, Come on, let's do it. | ||
| Plenty for everybody. | ||
| Plenty for everybody. | ||
| I don't have anger. | ||
| I've been fired four times from radio, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So I'm not angry at the people that fired me, but the people who told me things like, there was a guy named DJ Kaz in Charlton, South Carolina who told me, my first time I got fired, he told me I would never work in radio again because I was an asshole. | ||
| And then Boogie D told me, this is why you'll never make it in radio. | ||
| So those two individuals just need to be reminded. | ||
| So... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think people need to know that they made those calls. | |
| Wouldn't you like to know the person that cut Michael Jordan from the basketball team in high school? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Wouldn't you like to know the person that didn't hire Oprah as a newscaster back in there? | ||
| Wouldn't you like to know these people? | ||
| I just want to know these people. | ||
| And by the way, I've had other executives in radio, you know, like, salute to my guy Doc Winters. | ||
| Doc Winters told me that one person in particular he would never hire. | ||
| Because they fired me and couldn't give him a reason why. | ||
| When he asked him why, he was like, I just didn't like what he was doing. | ||
| So he was like, I never hired that person. | ||
| So... | ||
| That's why certain people need to be told and reminded about the dumbass decisions they made. | ||
| Oh, dude, like a psychopath. | ||
| You hold some strong grudges. | ||
| Like a psychopath. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But you know the difference is also that you get hired for these jobs and you can get fired by these assholes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And there's always that weird power play between producers and executives. | ||
| It happens with television shows and networks and it happens with radio. | ||
| It's a power play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The thing about comedy is you just work at a different club. | ||
| There's a little weird struggle between you and the other comedians, but there's no real struggle between you and the club owners. | ||
| You go in there, you sell out, you kill, and you're friendly to everybody. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're like, thank you, here's your money. | ||
| Bro, they do not fucking care, and it doesn't matter how much of a diva you are. | ||
| Everybody knows this story in comedy. | ||
| Eddie Griffin, you know Eddie Griffin's a writer? | ||
| Eddie Griffin is the best writer in comedy. | ||
| I didn't know he has a writer. | ||
| When did he get a writer? | ||
| Oh, he's had it forever. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know he had a writer. | ||
| No, a writer mean like the thing that- Oh, a writer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, a writer. | |
| You're talking about me pronouncing shit wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought you were talking about his fucking ghost writer. | |
| I was like, Eddie got a ghost writer? | ||
| Eddie writes his shit. | ||
| Eddie can go, man. | ||
| Eddie's great. | ||
| But apparently his writer, which means the shit that's in the green room, and he needs a brand new pair of Air Force Ones for every show. | ||
| A lot of people do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people have sneaker riders. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I'm fucking up. | ||
| Because I haven't asked for anything but water. | ||
| You would think sneakers are the most important thing in stand-up, right? | ||
| You need a comfortable fucking shoe, right? | ||
| When you're on that stage. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| There are more than just Eddie has... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some guys have it where they want a fresh pair, size 11s, whatever they wear, right there. | ||
| So they get to the... | ||
| They number one to wear them at all until right when they get on stage. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's in your rider? | ||
| I have like Jack Daniels, wine, meat, water. | ||
| Simple. | ||
| Sugar-free Red Bull. | ||
| What kind of meat? | ||
| You're not specific with the meat? | ||
| No, like meat plates, like roast beef and shit like that. | ||
| Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. | ||
| So I don't eat garbage. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Nuts. | ||
| Macadamia nuts and pistachios. | ||
| Normal shit. | ||
| Red M&M's. | ||
| Yeah, only green ones. | ||
| Pick out the green ones. | ||
| I mean, what you're saying about stand-up is the beauty of independence, though, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why everybody who gets Me Too'd runs to the stand-up stage afterwards, because the comedy club still accepts it. | ||
| Sean, they were saying, did you see that tweet? | ||
| I thought maybe it was Roy Wood or something like that. | ||
| He was like, O.J. will be doing stand-up in three months. | ||
| Dude, do you watch those videos? | ||
| No, and why do you? | ||
| Why do we even attain that shit? | ||
| You love it. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| Hello, Twitter world. | ||
| There's a lot of BS out there. | ||
| First of all, it pisses me off that he does videos on Twitter. | ||
| Take that shit to Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He doesn't know. | |
| He thinks Twitter is that. | ||
| That's what he thinks. | ||
| He's holding his reading glasses in his hand. | ||
| I mean, he's going blind. | ||
| He's 71 years old. | ||
| Did you see the DM he sent that dude? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| With all the knives. | ||
| All the knife emojis. | ||
| But yo, you understand that was strategic, right? | ||
| He sent that on Monday. | ||
| Monday was the 25th anniversary of the fucking Bronco chase. | ||
| So you think that he didn't just want to be in the news? | ||
| That was a strategic move. | ||
| I don't think he's that smart. | ||
| I think what's going on is he's reacting to someone fucking with him, and he doesn't know how to just let shit slide. | ||
| So somebody makes a parody video where he's doing his Twitter. | ||
| He goes, hello, Twitter world. | ||
| And then someone's got, help, police, in the background. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| So he gets mad, and he DMs that person who made that video. | ||
| I'm going to cut you. | ||
| He said, I'm going to cut you. | ||
| I think that was strategic, man. | ||
| I think he knew it was the 25th anniversary of the Bronco Chase. | ||
| And OJ's only relevance is the fact that he got away with murder. | ||
| So he has to remind us of that fact all the time in order for us to give a fuck. | ||
| Did you ever see the videos he did when he was doing rap? | ||
| When he was dressing up like a king? | ||
| In Miami? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He dressed up like a rapper? | ||
| He was doing rap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He had music. | |
| No. | ||
| Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, alright. | ||
| We can't play it, right? | ||
| We get pulled off of YouTube. | ||
| Real quick, that stuff was fake. | ||
| That DM stuff. | ||
| Oh, it was fake? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the guy lied? | |
| Yeah, so I listened to Jim and Sam yesterday. | ||
| They actually broke it down instantly. | ||
| He made it in a fake account with the real OJ. He just made the L, a capital I. Oh! | ||
| I gave him Donkey of the Day for no fucking reason. | ||
| God damn... | ||
| Lookie, you're mad! | ||
| I'm glad, though. | ||
| I'm glad he's not that stupid. | ||
| Donkey of the Day is a segment I do in a breakfast club where I give somebody the credit they deserve for being stupid. | ||
| I'm like, yo, you can't be that stupid and that thirsty for attention, OJ. So it's kind of a relief that he's not that thirsty. | ||
| This is OJ when he was doing rap music. | ||
| All right, well, now he is thirsty. | ||
| We can't play the music, but he had girls out there dancing around their underwear, and OJ was rapping. | ||
| Didn't he have a crown on or something? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| He was dressed up in white face and all sorts of things. | ||
| There's naked girls in it. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| You don't think OJ been riding the wave of killing these two people for too long, bro? | ||
| Well, crazy bitches will still fuck him. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| Bro, it is insane. | ||
| I don't understand this part of women at all. | ||
| Like, the women that, like, meet people in jail, and then they'll, like, get married to them in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Like, what is this about? | ||
| I'm thinking about that jail dick when they come home. | ||
| Some of those guys never get to give them that jail dick. | ||
| They're in jail forever, and they get no conjugal visits, and they still want to marry them. | ||
| But why? | ||
| Women are attracted to killers. | ||
| So they want killers? | ||
| They want killers, and specifically they want killers that kill women. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, that's a thing with some women, with really fucked up women. | ||
| They are attracted to men who kill women. | ||
| God, what happened to girls that want to get choked? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
| Why you gotta go to that extreme? | ||
| What's wrong with this spanking? | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I'm just spanking and choking. | ||
| Do you think all the choking and spanking and like, you know how like some girls have like rape fantasies and shit like that? | ||
| Do you think that's all because men have just become such pussies? | ||
| They want to see if they have the ability to even do it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think some girls have this primal need to know that you can kill them. | ||
| But don't they know that? | ||
| This thing turns them on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not kill them. | |
| Protect them, right? | ||
| It's not kill them. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| But they want to know you could kill them. | ||
| Not that you're going to. | ||
| Kill them or kill someone else trying to get them? | ||
| That hand on your neck when they're choking you, they want to be like close to the door of you doing something violent to them while you're fucking them so it feels good while you've got control over their life. | ||
| You really have like, you're holding their neck, you've got control over their life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So why do we... | |
| Look at your face! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| But like... | ||
| You know all these dudes that jerk off with a belt on their neck and shit like that and we call them weirdos? | ||
| That's just women. | ||
| Yeah, but that's different. | ||
| That's autoerotic asphyxiation. | ||
| Well, but it's choking a bitch. | ||
| It is, but I think the choking is you're doing it, a man is doing it to you. | ||
| It's not just that you're running out of oxygen because someone's squeezing the blood out of your brain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's also that someone's doing it to you while they're fucking. | ||
| Do you guys go for the whole choke? | ||
| Because what I do is, I like put my hand there, and then I kind of just tense my forearm, but I don't really squeeze the fingers. | ||
| My wife doesn't play like that. | ||
| She won't let me do that. | ||
| She wants the whole choke? | ||
| No, she doesn't like that. | ||
| Oh, she doesn't like that. | ||
| Because she knows you could do it! | ||
| Well, it's not just that. | ||
| She sees you choke people out regularly. | ||
| She knows you're capable. | ||
| But the kind of girl that wants you to choke her like that, I think you should leave that one alone. | ||
| Dude, my wife likes a little choking, but I mean, as we've gotten older, all of that stuff has kind of like subsided, but she used to like a lot of choking. | ||
| We've been together 22 years, though. | ||
| Yeah, you want to play it. | ||
| Yeah, but y'all know she like it tonight. | ||
| She's naked. | ||
| But I do it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not for us! | |
| It's for you! | ||
| It's happening to you! | ||
| Some girls love it, man. | ||
| They do! | ||
| Some girls love it. | ||
| But I think it's really because they see men as pathetic now. | ||
| They see men as babies, and the more pathetic and, like, cucked up a guy is, they're like, okay, choke me, slap me around. | ||
| Show me that you have some testosterone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Show me that you have some testosterone. | |
| Show me you have some sort of strength. | ||
| Yeah, but that don't mean you got to go give OJ some pussy, though. | ||
| My God. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You think they're asking OJ to choke him? | ||
| Richard Ramirez used to have girls visiting him. | ||
| Manson was married when he died. | ||
| Yeah, but Manson had charm. | ||
| He must have had something. | ||
| No. | ||
| He must have had something. | ||
| All of those guys had fame. | ||
| Fame has always been an attraction to people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But he wasn't famous in the beginning when he was getting people to do all that wild shit. | |
| He was Panin. | ||
| Manson, right? | ||
| Well, he wasn't famous, but he was a cult leader. | ||
| So he was the leader of a small group. | ||
| So he was infamous amongst that group of people. | ||
| But you've got to at least turn a couple people to turn it into a cult. | ||
| Eventually, it becomes part of it. | ||
| When you look at social media, you realize that ain't really shit, right? | ||
| It ain't really shit to have a following. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| 500 followers on social media is pathetic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But 500 in real life. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| You're the man. | ||
| You're Jim Jones. | ||
| He's like, wow. | ||
| Especially in 67. Yeah, man. | ||
| You get 10 people to kill themselves in 67? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Man, some people can't get 10 people to a comedy show. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's a different kind of captive audience. | ||
| Yeah, and you've got to fax them. | ||
| There's no organization. | ||
| Everything has to happen in real life. | ||
| Yeah, what was that speech like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was the speech when he made everybody drink the Kool-Aid? | |
| Bro, let me tell you something. | ||
| He had to have some balls, right? | ||
| That must have been... | ||
| Did they know they were drinking that? | ||
| It wasn't even Kool-Aid. | ||
| Kool-Aid took a bad rap. | ||
| It was some cheap Costco brand. | ||
| Kool-Aid existed even back then? | ||
| I think Kool-Aid existed. | ||
| So they went with the generic to kill him? | ||
| They went with some bullshit Kool-Aid. | ||
| It's like they didn't have enough money for all Kool-Aid. | ||
| They just gave people something. | ||
| Hey, whatever the fuck they drink, they're serving it in the Dominican Republic at Resorts right now. | ||
| That's a cocktail in sandals. | ||
| What the fuck is happening in the Dominican Republic? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| All these people are dying. | ||
| Well, they tried to get at Big Papi. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| People are dying at resorts. | ||
| That was an assassination attempt. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| People are dying at these resorts. | ||
| They're listening to all these Americans that are being poisoned. | ||
| One lady got beaten to death and raped. | ||
| She didn't get beaten to death, but beaten half to death. | ||
| She survived, but her whole head was just a big swollen mass of blood and injuries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some guy worked at this resort. | |
| She saw him wearing, or at least he was wearing an outfit, clubbed her over the head, and did all kinds of crazy shit to her and left her for dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I read a story today. | ||
| It was a group of high school kids who went to the DR of celebrating graduation or whatever. | ||
| All of them ended up in the hospital. | ||
| And nobody knows why this shit is happening. | ||
| Nine people have died at these resorts and nobody knows why. | ||
| And a lot of them are dying from pulmonary edema and heart failure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| It's like some blood issue and they're drinking things from the minibar and fucking broken. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From the minibar, yes. | |
| What? | ||
| You didn't hear about that shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| What is the number of people that have died over there now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
| Nine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's happening in the resorts, the safe spots? | |
| Yeah, it's happening in the resorts. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We gotta go to DR. What? | |
| We gotta hunt. | ||
| That's hunting right there. | ||
| Let's get into it. | ||
| Let's get to the bottom of it. | ||
| You really wanna do some nature shit, Joe? | ||
| You wanna go do some nature shit? | ||
| Let's go hunt some rapists in the DR. I wonder what's happening. | ||
| I don't think it's just rape. | ||
| People are just killing people. | ||
| They say they're drinking at these mini bars and drinking at these bars and they've been testing the alcohol and it's like fake alcohol or some shit like that. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| I just know nine people have died. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not going. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not going. | ||
| Yeah, you can't tell. | ||
| That's all it takes. | ||
| All it takes is nine people going to fuck up your whole tourist economy. | ||
| You would think, but we live in this era where people are like, oh shit, let's go over there and see if we can survive the DR. It's become like a fucking game almost. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, this is when anybody dies of a cocaine overdose. | ||
| Everybody wants the shit that they died from. | ||
| That's old school. | ||
| Where you want the good shit. | ||
| Yeah, you want the shit they died from. | ||
| You ever do coke? | ||
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never done it. | ||
| You ever do coke? | ||
| I fake sniffed coke once. | ||
| I smoked it in a blunt with some weed back in the day, but I fake sniffed it. | ||
| It was like the lines were on the table. | ||
| And I just wanted to make the people I was around feel comfortable, almost like on some training day shit. | ||
| I didn't want them to think I was like an undercover cop or anything. | ||
| So I motherfucking, you just do like this, and you knock it off, and just make sure you get a little on your face, and you just go, woo! | ||
| And everybody's high, so it's not like they really fucking noticed. | ||
| Wait, do black dudes say woo after doing coke too? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I just thought that's what you did after you fucking snipped a line. | ||
| Because we watch white people movies. | ||
| It's a Ric Flair. | ||
| Every movie I saw, they let out a goddamn Ric Flair. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| I've had that tea, that mata de coco tea. | ||
| It's like tea made out of coca leaves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it goes? | ||
| Yeah, apparently the leaves, if you just chew them, are actually good for you. | ||
| They have phytonutrients. | ||
| It's like a cup of coffee. | ||
| But it's healthy. | ||
| It's actually good for you. | ||
| Those high-altitude herders, they put a big wad of that shit in their mouth, they chew on it, and it releases into their bloodstream, and it's actually healthy. | ||
| It's not bad for you. | ||
| It's when they process it and turn it into cocaine that it's bad. | ||
| What I've had is coca leaves in a tea form. | ||
| So you just take the leaves, and it's in a tea bag, and you drink the tea. | ||
| It just makes you kind of like hyper, and you talk too much. | ||
| I'm not going to lie, when I smoked that cocaine with that weed by accident, that was the best high I've ever had in my motherfucking life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I used to always say I would do it again by accident if it was opportunity. | ||
| By accident on purpose? | ||
| But I think I'm too old for that shit now. | ||
| But back then, my God, I remember that high like it was yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| What a feeling. | ||
| Like he said, you just feel very alive. | ||
| You feel aware. | ||
| Everything just seems bright, even when it's dark out. | ||
| You feel like you're actually on top of something. | ||
| You just feel mad hyper, but when you crash, you crash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Game over. | |
| When you crash, it's over. | ||
| You guys ever tried Molly? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I've tried MDMA. MDMA, yeah. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| Only once, though. | ||
| You like it or no? | ||
| I loved the feeling when I was on it. | ||
| I did not like it. | ||
| The next day I couldn't read. | ||
| I was trying to read a magazine and I couldn't read. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I was like, I just can't. | ||
| I couldn't follow it. | ||
| My brain was so dried out. | ||
| Just shut down. | ||
| It was just dead. | ||
| And then I went on stage that night and ate shit. | ||
| Yeah, because the synapses aren't firing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I was slow and sloppy. | ||
| My delivery was off. | ||
| Fucked up because when you said ate shit, I thought literally. | ||
| I was like, I can't wait to hear this stuff. | ||
| I was like, you started reaching in your fucking pants and then pulling out shit. | ||
| I lost my mind. | ||
| Dude, I've been going to Burning Man the last few years, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, last three years I've been going. | ||
| Gotta get that hippie pussy. | ||
| Bro, dude, it's not even really like, for me at least, I haven't even really been fucking there. | ||
| No? | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| You're not showering, you're all fucking hopped up on drugs and shit like that. | ||
| I think the fuck communities exist, but I don't want to sell it. | ||
| It's weird to sell it, but it's a really cool experience. | ||
| You would probably really love it. | ||
| I tried Molly. | ||
| People say when you try drugs, it gives you this heightened version of reality that you can't come to naturally. | ||
| Then you have a new perspective because of it. | ||
| Some people say that about acid or mushrooms and these types of things. | ||
| It was weird because for the first time in my life, I felt past emotionally full, it was like excess. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| You know when you kill on stage and you walk off and you just want to like help people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you filled up the void and then you have a little extra. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So Molly put me there, and I was like, oh, this is how people who feel no void operate. | ||
| Like, I was just calling my parents. | ||
| I was calling my best friends and telling them I love them, and I'm going to take care of your kids if anything happens. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Bro, yeah. | ||
| Maybe it just gave you the courage to do things you... | ||
| Want to do, but for whatever reason you choose not to. | ||
| Right, because, you know, before I'm busy trying to fill the void, right? | ||
| Be it through laughs or through content, whatever we're doing. | ||
| And here I had the excess. | ||
| And it was an interesting experience to make me go, okay, I can probably hit this, maybe without the drug. | ||
| I can do things in my life. | ||
| Exercise or... | ||
| Gratitude. | ||
| Gratitude, 100%. | ||
| Yeah, 100%? | ||
| Dr. Wayne W. Dye said that you won't find your true purpose. | ||
| Your true purpose in life is service to others, right? | ||
| So I think most people that are public servants and give their lives to other people, I think that's the ultimate high. | ||
| But it's so crazy. | ||
| It's like, you don't get to notice that until you're there. | ||
| Like, it's so easy to tell people, hey, you should be grateful, and then you'll feel better. | ||
| But if they're not able to feel the sensation of gratitude, you're explaining to them, you're explaining Chinese to someone who doesn't even know what the fuck the language is. | ||
| We're all in this unique situation where we've probably experienced that, and we probably tried to find ways to give back, et cetera, and then we felt really good because of it, and we're like, I should keep doing this. | ||
| This is a really good feeling. | ||
| But imagine someone who's barely surviving. | ||
| Yeah, but they still have something to give. | ||
| They just don't realize it. | ||
| You might have $10 in your bank account, but guess what? | ||
| It's a homeless person on the street that has zero. | ||
| You give him a dollar, you might feel great. | ||
| And then he takes that dollar, and he's so appreciative. | ||
| Like, thank you, thank you. | ||
| That'll make you immediately feel better. | ||
| Yeah, really, just helping people without any, you know, you have no ulterior motive. | ||
| It's a great feeling. | ||
| Word. | ||
| It's addictive. | ||
| I thought about that with karma, right? | ||
| We always look at karma and we think that karma is what you put out is what you're supposed to get back. | ||
| No, karma is just an action. | ||
| And you're supposed to do those things just because it's the right thing to do. | ||
| Period. | ||
| I think also karma involves you feeling the way you feel about yourself. | ||
| Because when you do shitty things, you feel you have a bad self-image. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| You live in your karma. | ||
| That's what people don't get. | ||
| It's not like, here's a dollar for a homeless guy. | ||
| Five minutes later, I should get $10. | ||
| It's not an investment karma, right? | ||
| It's, I feel better when I'm acting right. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's simple as that. | ||
| You can't run from yourself. | ||
| You cannot. | ||
| You go to sleep every night. | ||
| You look in the mirror. | ||
| When you jack off, you know what you're thinking about when you jack off. | ||
| You know you. | ||
| I think a lot of people don't understand that concept. | ||
| I can't do people dirty. | ||
| Because I know I did somebody dirty. | ||
| I can't do something foul to them. | ||
| Because you carry that. | ||
| Because I know I did something foul to me. | ||
| And even when somebody does something foul to me, I got to go through my fouls in my mind. | ||
| Did I do something fucked up to this person? | ||
| Did I do something to cause them to react this way? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| That's their problem. | ||
| And that's the competitive advantage of sociopaths. | ||
| Is they don't carry the negative karma. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Right? | ||
| They have the interaction. | ||
| We, the three of us, would walk around afterwards. | ||
| Like, man, I shouldn't have fucking done that. | ||
| What the fuck was wrong with me? | ||
| I feel like a piece of shit. | ||
| They just go, eh, all right, that happened. | ||
| I don't believe that. | ||
| No, that's why they're effective in business. | ||
| That's why they're effective in politics. | ||
| That's why you see these personality types succeed with the ability to just destroy thousands of lives. | ||
| I get what you're saying, but I think eventually it catches up to all of them. | ||
| I don't think it does emotionally. | ||
| I think they're just suppressing shit so much, but eventually I think that shit just explodes in them and causes them to go crazy if they don't fucking get killed first. | ||
| There are people, though, that don't experience any emotions the way we experience them. | ||
| No empathy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're broken. | ||
| There's something wrong with the synapses. | ||
| I was like that for a long time. | ||
| When I started going to therapy is when I started piecing things together. | ||
| I made myself cold just because of how I felt like the world and the business was treating me at a certain point. | ||
| I was purposely making myself cold, and I thought that was the way that I had to be. | ||
| You fucking around to read books like the 48 Laws of Power when you're young, and you study all of these people who got to a certain point, and they all had this coldness about them, like this ruthlessness, like I'll step on anybody to get the way I need to be. | ||
| But then you realize, these motherfuckers are miserable. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Dude, so you were on the island, right? | ||
| Lanai. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And were you hanging out with any of the island folks at all? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, there's this comic named Lil Duval. | ||
| I really think he's one of the people who understands life better than anybody on this planet. | ||
| My guy. | ||
| Good brother. | ||
| Yeah, he's a good buddy of ours. | ||
| He's fucking brilliant. | ||
| The same dude for the Smile Bitch song? | ||
| There you go! | ||
| Smile Bitch! | ||
| Joe, when I'm telling you... | ||
| Stylebender comes out to that song. | ||
| Yo, shouts to Izzy, man. | ||
| We were on this podcast last time we were talking about how Izzy was going to do it, man. | ||
| But, um... | ||
| He's one of these guys, I promise you, his understanding of life is unparalleled. | ||
| Unparalleled to anybody I've ever studied. | ||
| And you see a song like Smile Bitch, and we see it maybe on surface value, but everything he does has a purpose, and he's aware of the purpose, right? | ||
| He's aware of the energy he puts out in the ecosystem and how it affects the ecosystem. | ||
| And he was telling me how he likes to go to the islands. | ||
| I visited him in Bahamas, and he likes to be in the Bahamas. | ||
| And I was like, why? | ||
| Why do you like to be here? | ||
| He goes, because people understand what life is here. | ||
| I go, what are you talking about? | ||
| He goes... | ||
| They don't get caught up in the bullshit that we get caught up in the States, right? | ||
| In the States, everybody here thinks they're going to be a millionaire. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| We have a lottery, a reality show, some viral video. | ||
| And you go to the island and they understand that they're going to live and die there. | ||
| And then they start to realize, hey, I got to just maximize happiness in life. | ||
| Try to get some chicken tenders on the island when we were in Bahamas. | ||
| It takes 50 minutes, an hour, for fucking five chicken tenders. | ||
| I'm like, why the fuck is it taking so long? | ||
| And he looks at me and he goes, why should they hurry? | ||
| His philosophy is real Buddhist-like. | ||
| He doesn't know that, but his philosophy is real Buddhist. | ||
| He's aware of it. | ||
| He don't even know. | ||
| You call him right now and say, who's Buddhist? | ||
| He'd be like, I didn't go to school to know Buddha. | ||
| He doesn't know anything. | ||
| But he knows instinctively. | ||
| No formal education comes from nothing. | ||
| And the way that he's found a way to understand humanity, it's his competitive advantage in the industry he's in. | ||
| He just truly understands humanity. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| We've complicated this shit. | ||
| Dude, we have. | ||
| Capitalism has complicated things. | ||
| The cultures that we strive to be a part of have complicated things. | ||
| The truth of the matter is life is about treating people good, being a public servant, and dying. | ||
| Yo, the crazy thing, he goes, I love, I love, and this is what's hard to understand because I love hanging out with old people. | ||
| I'm like, why? | ||
| He goes, because they understand life. | ||
| I go, what do you mean? | ||
| He goes, you eventually get to a certain point where you realize you're going to die. | ||
| And all these things that you want to accomplish that you thought you had to accomplish and all this shit that you thought you had to get done in order to value yourself is meaningless. | ||
| It was just distraction until we get there. | ||
| Yeah, that's the concept. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hard to swallow, dude, because you have to let go of ego, right? | |
| You have to go, okay, I'm okay as I am, and I'm okay having a good conversation with somebody or a good interaction today or just fucking sitting on the beach and looking at the stars, right? | ||
| These are cool things. | ||
| That's just as valuable as having a YouTube clip hit a million or something like that. | ||
| These things aren't any different in the grand scope of things, right? | ||
| Yeah, I believe in the law of attraction, right? | ||
| Your thoughts become things. | ||
| So that's why it's hard for me to grasp the concept of, okay, one day you're going to die. | ||
| Because in my mind, I want to die when I'm 90, 100 years old. | ||
| But, you know, you read certain things and they're like, no, you have to embrace it. | ||
| You have to tell yourself every day, you're going to die. | ||
| Because then you'll live your life like every day is your last. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a hard concept. | ||
| Do you know C.T. Fletcher? | ||
| I've heard that name. | ||
| He had a heart transplant last year and he came on the podcast a year after his heart transplant and you've never seen a guy more loving and open and friendly and thankful and tells everybody he loves him and he's hugging everybody and just genuinely grateful because he was at death's door. | ||
| Legitimately at death's door. | ||
| His heart was failing him. | ||
| His father's heart had failed him. | ||
| His brother's... | ||
| He's got congenital heart disease in his family. | ||
| And he knew that his heart was going. | ||
| He had had heart attacks, he had had surgery, and they transplanted his fucking heart, and they put a woman's heart inside of him, too. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Which is also fucked with him. | ||
| That's what he's loving? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| Wow. | ||
| No, but I mean, it's just like, that's the one that fit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it was like, this matches you, and we're ready to do it. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| So now here he is a year later, but that guy has this renewed lease on life, and he just glows like a religious figure. | ||
| Because he got close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That would be a great concept for a movie. | ||
| Like somebody who was a male chauvinist all his life and shitting on women and then had to get a woman's heart and his whole concept of life change. | ||
| It's like a Jim Carrey movie or something. | ||
| Starts putting nail polish on. | ||
| Jealous for no reason. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That would be interesting. | ||
| Crazy, yeah. | ||
| But it is interesting. | ||
| It's like, that's why... | ||
| Now we're getting to the fucked up thing, right? | ||
| Like, this idea there is no good and bad, things just are, etc. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But like... | ||
| But there's good and bad in how the energy that you put out, how it affects people. | ||
| If you do a bad thing and it hurts a bunch of people's lives... | ||
| You're changing how those people are going to interact with all the people they experience as well. | ||
| Yeah, you fucked up the ecosystem. | ||
| And there's a ripple effect with the ecosystem, right? | ||
| But let's say you look at... | ||
| Earlier, we were talking about bears, right? | ||
| Or maybe I was watching a clip of your show, but you were talking... | ||
| I think it was you and Duncan. | ||
| And you're like, bears really just attract baby animals. | ||
| That's what they eat. | ||
| They eat baby deer. | ||
| Yeah, they eat whatever they can, but they eat most... | ||
| Most of the baby deer that die get eaten. | ||
| They're like animal pedophiles. | ||
| They're just killing fucking kids. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| That's what they fucking do. | ||
| Coca-Cola's sponsor is an animal pedophile just eating baby seals. | ||
| That, in our culture, would be a piece of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if there was a group of people that just killed kids? | |
| We would call them pieces of shit. | ||
| That would be a bad thing. | ||
| But that's just, you've acknowledged, within the ecosystem of those animals, It's necessary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right? | ||
| The bears need to. | ||
| How do we know, though? | ||
| How do we know that it's not fucking groups of animal rights activists, animals in the woods, saying these fucking bears need to stop killing these kids? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw a video. | |
| We don't know. | ||
| We don't know what these animals are really talking about and really discussing. | ||
| You know the shark fin soup? | ||
| We don't. | ||
| Yo, Charlotte, you know the shark fin soup? | ||
| No. | ||
| So they just cut the fins off the shark, and then they let the shark sink to the bottom of the ocean. | ||
| And die. | ||
| And die. | ||
| It just sinks to the bottom. | ||
| It can't swim. | ||
| It just sinks to the bottom. | ||
| And there was somebody tweeting about how horrible it is, but I bet there's a bunch of fish that are pulling up on that shark like, oh, look what we got here. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Are you going to be okay, bro? | ||
| You killed my whole family, you piece of shit. | ||
| You see, you've been deer hunting. | ||
| Deers don't just stand there when they see you. | ||
| No. | ||
| They get the fuck on. | ||
| Like, oh, here come them fucking humans with them guns again. | ||
| Like, I think animals are way smarter than we give them credit for. | ||
| Well, they have instincts. | ||
| I think they got a little more than instincts. | ||
| Some do. | ||
| Some animals are smart. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| Moose are some of the dumbest. | ||
| They're dumb as fuck. | ||
| We know, but you know why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because they're so big. | ||
| Because who's going to take them out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| All they have to do is stomp wolves. | ||
| That's all they have to do. | ||
| Wolves try to come after them, and then they just game over. | ||
| Stomp them. | ||
| If I was a moose, I'd be dumb, too, though. | ||
| Because I'd be looking at y'all like, y'all dumb. | ||
| Y'all really out here with us? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And this motherfucker, he don't got the nerve to try me. | ||
| That's your thing. | ||
| And then you go shooting at the moose, and you're like, fuck, he shot me. | ||
| It's like the mountain from Game of Thrones. | ||
| What's that guy's name? | ||
| Yeah, Thornborn. | ||
| Okay, I don't know his IQ, but I can't imagine it's incredible. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Six, nine, 300 pounds? | ||
| You don't gotta figure shit out. | ||
| You might not have to, but some dudes choose to. | ||
| There's giant dudes that are smart as fuck. | ||
| Small cocks. | ||
| That's what people would like to think. | ||
| That's what I have to think. | ||
| You have to think. | ||
| Yeah, you'd make yourself feel better, right? | ||
| You'd be six, nine and have a hammer? | ||
| People always say that about Shaq. | ||
| Someone's saying that about, oh, he's got a little dick. | ||
| Compared to who? | ||
| Well, no, I read, I read, I read, I read. | ||
| What's compared to a bear? | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| I read Corinne Steffen's book. | ||
| Corinne Steffen said she had sexual relations with Shaq. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Superhead. | |
| Superhead. | ||
| She said it's not little. | ||
| It's just regular. | ||
| So it's like, his dick probably looked big on me. | ||
| But on Shaq, it's just like, eh, nine inches ain't really big for you, Shaq. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| It's that Chris Rock joke about the background. | ||
| He's like, I don't have a big dick, but I got a small background. | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| So it looks big. | ||
| He's so skinny that his dick looks big. | ||
| Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. | ||
| Shaq needs to come through with a Time Warner remote. | ||
| Shaq needs 15 inches! | ||
| Shaq needs that gun on his dick. | ||
| That should be Shaq needs. | ||
| That boring company. | ||
| What is that called, Joe? | ||
| The boring company. | ||
| Not a flamethrower. | ||
| That's what Shaq needs. | ||
| Anything else to disappoint a woman? | ||
| I guess what I'm saying is like with C.T. Fletcher, right? | ||
| He needed to see death in order to have this amazing revelation about life. | ||
| And maybe the fucked up things that happen in the world. | ||
| Maybe if there is some sort of design to all this. | ||
| Maybe the fucked up things that happen in the world allow us to have a little bit of empathy and joy for being able to be here. | ||
| Well, you got to give a fuck about life, first of all, because I can think about all the near-death experiences I had, whether it was somebody pulling a gun on me, whether it was me being drunk as shit and wrecking my mom's white aluminum caravan, and literally the only reason I survived is because I didn't have a seatbelt on it because I was so drunk that the impact didn't kill me. | ||
| I didn't think about stuff like that until decades later. | ||
| When it happened in the moment, it was just like... | ||
| Alright, whatever. | ||
| I got into a wreck. | ||
| Oh, I got a gun pulled on me. | ||
| But when you're older and I got three daughters and I look at my wife and I look at people that love and care about me and I really appreciate and value life now, I start thinking back on that shit like, what the fuck was I thinking? | ||
| I didn't give a shit about life back then. | ||
| But I can get an anxiety attack thinking about those past moments because those past moments would have caused so much not to happen if I'd have died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta care. | ||
| You gotta care and you have to have something to care for. | ||
| And that's one of the things that really changes when you have children. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Chappelle said the best thing to me. | ||
| He said, not only did it change how much I love, he goes, it changed my capacity for love. | ||
| It teaches you how to love. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might not even know what real love is until you have children and you realize like, man, this is like my heart walking around outside my body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you feel a different level of love, a different level of empathy. | ||
| Like, I remember my daughter had attracted me like two, three years ago. | ||
| And she was learning the long jump. | ||
| And, you know, it was like the first time she ever did the long jump. | ||
| So it was literally, it wasn't even a meet. | ||
| It was like practice, right? | ||
| And so she goes and do the jump. | ||
| And I just, I go, oh my God, that was horrible. | ||
| And she just burst out into tears. | ||
| And I'm like, what the What the fuck did I just do? | ||
| What did I say? | ||
| My wife was like, what's your problem? | ||
| And then other parents are coming like, oh, it'll be fine. | ||
| You did perfectly. | ||
| I said, shut the fuck up. | ||
| She didn't do good. | ||
| But I didn't understand that my word meant everything to her. | ||
| Like, everything. | ||
| So I just took all her confidence out of her and just that one snap of a finger like Thanos. | ||
| And that shit, even thinking about that shit now, hurts my heart. | ||
| But I've never made that mistake again. | ||
| Now I'm the father that... | ||
| That overly tells her how great she is. | ||
| And I know how to explain to her if she does something that I necessarily don't think is great. | ||
| I know how to explain it to her in a way where she can do better. | ||
| And she's very receptive to that. | ||
| It changes who you are. | ||
| How many kids? | ||
| Three. | ||
| All daughters, too. | ||
| Oh, you was a hoe in a past life like me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| There you go, Rogan! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm telling you, this is Parallel Universe's meeting right now, I swear to God. | |
| was out there knocking them down doing girls dirty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know a hoe. | |
| I know a former hoe when I see one. | ||
| I have a joke about how much it changed the way I feel about life. | ||
| When my daughter was little, there was two bananas. | ||
| And one of them was brown and fucked up and old. | ||
| And one of them was perfect. | ||
| And I looked at those two bananas and I know my daughter loves bananas. | ||
| So she'd probably want that nice banana. | ||
| So I ate that fucked up banana. | ||
| So while sitting there eating this mushy mashed potato textured banana, I was thinking about, there's not another person in this world I would do that for. | ||
| Because I love my wife. | ||
| My wife is an amazing person. | ||
| But if it was just me and my wife, I'd be like, ooh, I guess that bitch is getting a shitty banana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You would ask her three times. | ||
| You sure? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You sure? | |
| Everything's good? | ||
| You sure? | ||
| It's pretty good banana? | ||
| It's perfect banana. | ||
| You just ask the wife three times. | ||
| Kids, they get it from the start. | ||
| I'd jump in front of a bus for her. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| People say I would die for you, but they don't mean it most of the time, unless they're a soldier who's willing to dive on a fucking grenade. | ||
| But if I could die and I knew that my kids would be happy and healthy, but if I lived, they would die. | ||
| I would die. | ||
| I flew out here. | ||
| I left New York 5.30 this morning simply because I was supposed to fly out last night, but my daughter had a track dinner, which I forgot about. | ||
| And it was literally like a track dinner. | ||
| It's in a fucking gym, and they're serving chicken tenders and lasagna and pizza and listening to Old Town Road 10 different times. | ||
| Everybody gets a participation trophy. | ||
| 12th place! | ||
| Go to 11th place! | ||
| I'm like, oh fucking god. | ||
| But I stayed just to be there. | ||
| I changed my flight and everything just to fly out this morning because I needed to be there for that track day. | ||
| You don't do that for people that you don't absolutely love and adore. | ||
| So here's a question. | ||
| You both have these kids and you need to balance Loving them so much and telling them they're the most amazing people in the entire world and not making them horrible human beings. | ||
| Well, more than that, not making them weak. | ||
| And not making them weak! | ||
| You have to give them adversity or they'll never know what to do with it. | ||
| I think sports is the key to that. | ||
| Make them do things that are difficult. | ||
| Well, I know what you're saying about participation trophies, but get them involved in something competitive where they have to struggle. | ||
| So they'll learn what it's like to lose, they'll learn what life is like in a kind of controlled environment, and then you can still... | ||
| Nurture them and love them. | ||
| Yeah, the difference between people who participate in sports and people who don't is you learn what losing is. | ||
| Some people that never learn what losing is and they just are terrified of it. | ||
| But they're not teaching these kids how to lose no more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| In school schools. | ||
| But I mean like competitive things. | ||
| Like get your kids involved in martial arts. | ||
| Get your kids involved in these things that are just, it's very clear. | ||
| It's binary. | ||
| One or zero. | ||
| Either you win or you lose. | ||
| Those are important. | ||
| You learn. | ||
| You learn, like, what struggle is. | ||
| If you have a race, right? | ||
| A track meet's a perfect example. | ||
| Someone fucking won. | ||
| Someone did not win. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You know, like, oh, you gotta cross the line, and I'm second. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| I gotta be first. | ||
| How the fuck can I be first? | ||
| I gotta figure out how to run faster. | ||
| That's it! | ||
| Will you guys ever be openly disappointed in them? | ||
| Will you show them that they let you down? | ||
| The only time I'm that way with my kids is when they're mean to each other. | ||
| I tell them, I go, this is unnecessary. | ||
| I know why you're feeling this way. | ||
| I know why you're mad at each other, but you can't be shitty to your sister. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| It's a bad thing. | ||
| You've got to learn how to take a deep breath and think about the consequences of what you're saying. | ||
| And every time you do do something shitty, learn from it. | ||
| It's a learning experience. | ||
| I think for me, I'm just like that when I think that they're being ungrateful. | ||
| My oldest daughter's 10, my second oldest is 3, so she doesn't really understand the concept. | ||
| My other daughter's 9 months old, but my 10-year-old It has lived a very privileged life. | ||
| And sometimes you see that bougie shit come out of it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, it's just little things. | ||
| Like, I love this island called Anguilla. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And we vacation like two, three times a year. | ||
| Like, these long 10-day vacations. | ||
| Just like, Anguilla again. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We was in Grenada, and her and my niece, because my niece comes with me all the time, and they're just talking like, the food is so much better in Anguilla than here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, yo, you know what the fuck I was doing when I was nine? | |
| I was lighting toys on fire in my backyard. | ||
| You were talking to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| I was on a dirt road in Monk's Corner, South Carolina. | ||
| Turning into Teen Wolf. | ||
| In a single wide fucking trail. | ||
| Like, that is the only thing that, like... | ||
| It pisses me off, just the lack of gratitude. | ||
| It's a perspective issue, though, right? | ||
| They're wealthy. | ||
| They're never going to understand what it's like to be poor. | ||
| So how do you instill that in them? | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| There's got to be ways, man. | ||
| The problem is, man, all of my favorite people have fucked up childhoods. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| But I don't want my kids to have a fucked up childhood. | ||
| They're not supposed to. | ||
| My mom told me, we're here to make our children's lives better. | ||
| My mom actually showed me my great-great-grandfather's Taxes he had to pay one year, and that shit was like a quarter. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, it was just something light. | ||
| But back then, that was a lot of money. | ||
| So she was just saying that to me, just telling me that every generation is supposed to be better. | ||
| Because I got this thing sometimes where I feel guilty about doing so well. | ||
| Because I don't have no fucking skill set. | ||
| Like, I didn't go to college, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't feel special. | ||
| Like, why am I in the position that I'm in? | ||
| My mother was a school teacher for 30 plus years. | ||
| The most she ever made was $30,000 a year in South Carolina. | ||
| I get that for a fucking appearance, so... | ||
| So it's like, that shit will make you feel bad sometimes. | ||
| Like, you'll feel a sense of guilt. | ||
| So she was just showing me that to say, hey, every generation is supposed to be better than the next generation. | ||
| So our kids are supposed to be way better than us. | ||
| Yeah, but don't you want to prepare them for that life? | ||
| Like, you look at any one of these movies or even stories about a king that took power and then the son that he has. | ||
| Son, he has always some spoiled little bitch who ruins the kingdom. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| Find me a great man as a son of a great man. | ||
| Find me a man who's the son of a great man. | ||
| Who's the son of a great man. | ||
| Because a great man always has these weak little sons. | ||
| And it's like, how do you... | ||
| Maybe you do need to create adversity for your kid. | ||
| Maybe you do need to be a dick a little bit. | ||
| And maybe it's selfish to be sweet to your kid all the time. | ||
| Because you're not preparing them for the world when you're not there. | ||
| I think you prepare them for the world when you let them find their own way. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Meaning like... | ||
| You gotta cut the cord. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want my daughter to get in the media, you know, if they choose, too cool. | ||
| You know, my daughter likes to write now, so she wants to be an author, fine. | ||
| I'm not really an author. | ||
| I wrote a couple books, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Right. | ||
| With a ghostwriter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I'm not really an author, so I want them to find their own way. | ||
| I think when they find their own way, then that gives them that integrity and that purpose and everything else that they're looking for. | ||
| I think when you hand them things, that's when the ego and all that other shit gets out of control. | ||
| They have to work for them. | ||
| What I see in the communities that I live in is I always like the rich kids that have nannies that take them everywhere and they don't see their parents very much because their parents work all the time. | ||
| And their parents vacation without the kids. | ||
| They like to go places without the kids all the time. | ||
| You see a lot of that. | ||
| Those kids are getting fucked up. | ||
| And you see them as they get older. | ||
| They're more and more vacant, more and more weird, more and more detached. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But the kids that are around the family all the time and they do things with the family, then they get a richer experience. | ||
| It's neglect. | ||
| And it's the parents that are super driven and they're never home. | ||
| They're working 16 hours a day. | ||
| And that's why they live in this fucking giant mansion and drive around in a Bentley. | ||
| Those kids get fucked up. | ||
| And they wind up getting on drugs and feel empty and looking for something to fill them up. | ||
| Imagine your parents sent you to boarding school. | ||
| I have a buddy of mine. | ||
| A buddy of mine is Brian Cowan. | ||
| His parents sent him to fucking boarding school in the United States and they didn't even live in the United States. | ||
| They sent him to another country. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Where is Brian from? | ||
| I love Brian. | ||
| Brian is from all over the world. | ||
| His dad was a banker, an international banker, air quotes. | ||
| And traveled everywhere and was involved in some weird foreign shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gun deals? | |
| Weapon deals? | ||
| We could talk later. | ||
| But he was involved in some weird, weird shit. | ||
| And then sent his kid, he was fucking 13 years old, sent him to the United States to go to boarding school. | ||
| And Brian, to this day, is still a little shell-shocked because of it. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Imagine your parents send you away. | ||
| You feel like an orphan. | ||
| When you're 13. It's your fucking orphan, dude. | ||
| And imagine if he was at that boarding school and got fucking molested or something crazy. | ||
| You would really hate life and hate your parents. | ||
| Wait, Brian got molested? | ||
| No, I'm just saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's just say he did. | |
| Let's just say he did. | ||
| Listen, somebody tried. | ||
| Who's funny that hasn't been? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta get that funny diddled into you. | ||
| Something fucked up happened. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, if you're fucked up. | ||
| If you're funny, something fucked up happened. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, some pain. | ||
| Some struggle. | ||
| Yeah, it's a defense mechanism. | ||
| No, you have to learn it. | ||
| You have to learn it. | ||
| Why would you need funny? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's why it's so rare to see... | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| People always say this about women, but even attractive dudes. | ||
| Have you ever seen a male model that was funny? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what I say about girls. | ||
| Carrot topping is hilarious. | ||
| Unless you're fat, your stories suck. | ||
| Real talk! | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Dude, unless you have to earn pussy. | ||
| Lesbians are hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they've got to earn pussy, right? | |
| They've got to fucking earn it. | ||
| Have you ever talked to Tiffany Haddish? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Tragic as fuck. | ||
| Story. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She's not fat. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, she's not fat. | ||
| No, but she had that tragedy, bro. | ||
| She has a tragedy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The tragedy is the fattest. | ||
| Oh, so y'all said being fat is a tragedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Shit, that's why Ms. Pat is hilarious, because she's got both. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit! | |
| That's why Miss Pat is about to be a superstar. | ||
| You would never want your kid to become Miss Pat, but you love Miss Pat. | ||
| You love Miss Pat. | ||
| Only because when you go through that kind of trauma, when you come out on the other side, you're really unstoppable. | ||
| Especially when you deal with what's going on in here, which is the toughest part, right? | ||
| I think that's what comedy does. | ||
| Comedy is therapy for a lot of people. | ||
| It's a coping mechanism. | ||
| It's therapy for a lot of people. | ||
| It gives you an escape. | ||
| Well, that's why she was able to accept what that guy did to her and forgive him. | ||
| Because she's past it. | ||
| She's on the other side. | ||
| She's gotten through on the other side. | ||
| And it forces you to deal with the reality of the world. | ||
| I think comics, better than most people, deal with the reality of the world. | ||
| And often it's because we went through some kind of real shit, right? | ||
| So we go, oh yeah, these things happen. | ||
| So I can let my mind even operate in it. | ||
| When you exist in like a really privileged life emotionally and even mentally, when you exist in that space, you don't want to imagine that there are people starving. | ||
| You don't want to imagine there are people hungry or that their parents are abused of their kids. | ||
| You don't even want to go there because you don't have to. | ||
| When you grew up in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kind of real shit. | |
| You're like, yeah, that's what the life is. | ||
| Where's the fun? | ||
| Right. | ||
| My dad can hit me for shit. | ||
| My mom. | ||
| So when you travel, you can appreciate where you're going. | ||
| Whereas your daughter's like, again. | ||
| Here we go again. | ||
| I went to South Africa in December. | ||
| It was like the 100th year of Mandela. | ||
| It would have been his 100th birthday or something like that. | ||
| And so I took my daughter, my 10-year-old daughter. | ||
| So like a few months later, she had a project in school where she had to do a project about Nelson Mandela in South Africa. | ||
| And so she had printed this picture of the Nelson Mandela statue from Mandela Square and had it as the cover. | ||
| And I'm like, where's the picture of you next to the statue? | ||
| And she's like, I don't want to use that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what the fuck do you mean? | |
| You don't want to use the picture of you standing next to the actual statue in Nelson Mandela Square. | ||
| That's the point of these experiences because you're able to do things like that. | ||
| I had to explain that to her. | ||
| You had to teach her how to flex? | ||
| I had to teach y'all to flirt. | ||
| She don't know how to stunt, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had to teach y'all to flirt. | |
| Yo, you don't know how to stunt, bro. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had to teach y'all to flirt. | |
| Get them likes. | ||
| But think about how normal that moment seemed to her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she was like, I don't even need to use this as a cover for my book report. | ||
| Oh, I think she's embarrassed. | ||
| You don't think she didn't want the other kids to be like... | ||
| Oh, those kids is rich. | ||
| These kids should go to a private school in Jersey. | ||
| All these kids are doing well. | ||
| Oh, not the kids, but the parents. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| All the parents are doing well. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, you guys got some money and you got kids. | |
| Would you guys pay to get your kid into a good school? | ||
| Oh, like that lady did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| No fucking chance. | ||
| You gotta earn that shit. | ||
| You gotta earn that shit. | ||
| You can't do that because they're not gonna enjoy it and they're not gonna work hard. | ||
| Some of those people paid half a million dollars. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Half a million dollars. | ||
| To get a bachelor. | ||
| To get a shitty kid into some school. | ||
| That they didn't deserve. | ||
| Yeah, and the kids are not going to have no passion for what they're doing. | ||
| They're just there. | ||
| It's just like having a regular piece of paper. | ||
| I want my kids to do things that they really want to do. | ||
| That's how you change the world. | ||
| You change the world when you're doing things that you truly want to do. | ||
| What's funny, I thought, is that those kids that went to the school did fine at them. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| Yeah, so school's just a big fucking hustle. | ||
| It's like if they didn't earn it based on grades, they should fail right the fuck out of the school. | ||
| It's becoming a hustle just because of the way the world is working. | ||
| I mean, Jamie went to school for audio engineering. | ||
| Not a goddamn thing he learned in school he could use today. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, for the most part, I got to touch some stuff I could never have touched before. | ||
| Oh, pussy? | ||
| Not at audio engineering. | ||
| Not at that school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some dick, maybe. | |
| Not at that school. | ||
| Yeah, no, but like... | ||
| At that time, it was like 2005 maybe. | ||
| YouTube didn't exist and there wasn't the plethora of knowledge out there that 12-year-olds are teaching you how to record audio now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Whereas I had to learn from the guy that was recording Eminem and Jay-Z and all these guys, Dr. Dre. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They can't really do much with that job either besides teach it now either. | ||
| That's why, to go back to Joel's point when you said I'm the last in radio, the reason I'm probably the last in radio is because I'm the guy that's staring people away from radio. | ||
| When kids come up to me and they're like, y'all want to get in the radio? | ||
| I'm like, for what? | ||
| For what? | ||
| You can start a fucking podcast. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's all types of different ways to be heard. | ||
| You can go on YouTube and if you want to be a VJ on TV, you can start doing your own video countdowns on YouTube. | ||
| Why do you need TV or radio to do any of that shit? | ||
| Middleman gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We didn't have none of that growing up. | ||
| I had to be on the radio. | ||
| You had to be on radio. | ||
| You had to be on TV. We didn't have that shit growing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, I'm even experiencing that with commentary for the UFC because I love doing commentary for the UFC, but you know what I love even better? | ||
| I do these fight companions. | ||
| Yes, when you watch it. | ||
| When we get in here, we get hammered, we start smoking weed and talking shit, and we watch the fights on the screen. | ||
| We have the best time. | ||
| It's way more fun than being there live. | ||
| Do you think that's the future of all live events, right? | ||
| So you could watch the NBA Finals, and instead of... | ||
| Listening to the guys, you know, Marv Albert or whoever do it, you could choose your guys that you watch the commentary with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| So Fight Companion 4, basketball, football, hockey. | ||
| Well, Dana White was doing that with Snoop Dogg. | ||
| He had the Tuesday Night Contender series, and Snoop Dogg and Uriah Faber were doing commentary. | ||
| And Snoop would just have a constant bluntlet, and he was drinking Tanqueray and getting hammered and talking crazy shit. | ||
| And that was an option for the commentary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It should be option. | |
| You could listen to the Snoop cast. | ||
| It should be, right? | ||
| It should be every single one. | ||
| I think Snoop got tired of doing it, though. | ||
| He just stopped doing it. | ||
| Probably got tired of being around Dana White. | ||
| I think he just got tired of having to be there every Tuesday. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing. | ||
| The NBA did this during the finals this year. | ||
| They tried an alternative stream using the ESPN app. | ||
| The thing about this is you're doing it with ESPN guys. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| What would be great is do it with... | ||
| Like the funniest commentary guys that you like in your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Hear them. | ||
| Just the reason why people tune in to your thing. | ||
| I guarantee they probably mute the TV. Right? | ||
| The people who are watching. | ||
| They listen to both. | ||
| I think that's what people probably do. | ||
| They never let the good commentators commentate anything. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Shaq should be actually commentating during the NBA. And it would be incredible. | ||
| During the game. | ||
| It would be incredible. | ||
| Them talking shit to each other. | ||
| Matter of fact, put them on a little screen in the bottom so we can actually look at them visually what they're doing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, they do that with the UFC. They have the best guys doing it. | ||
| Like Daniel Cormier does it now. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| Dominic Cruz, Paul Felder. | ||
| They have good fighters. | ||
| Michael Bisping that do commentary now. | ||
| Cormier's the best, though. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| Didn't he use the fight? | ||
| Fuck yeah, he's the heavyweight champion of the world. | ||
| He's the light heavyweight champion, and then he vacated his title, and now he's the heavyweight champion. | ||
| Yeah, he does commentary. | ||
| We do it all the time together. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You guys are good together because you guys get fucking hyped. | ||
| We're also good friends. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So we're always talking shit and we're laughing about things. | ||
| Whether it's a judge who's a nice lady but a terrible judge. | ||
| But when Rose Namajunas won the title, he starts screaming out, Thug Rose! | ||
| Thug Rose! | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| Because you guys turn into fans. | ||
| Neither one of us are real professionals, but we do it for a living, and it's weird. | ||
| That's my worst nightmare, to be out somewhere and fucking get into an argument with an MMA fighter. | ||
| You don't realize they're an MMA fighter? | ||
| Remember that Chappelle show where he got folded up when Keeping It Real Goes Wrong? | ||
| When the guy folded him up and peed on him and then went to fuck his girl? | ||
| That's why, yo, I'm telling you, you gotta check for the ears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgive you, bro. | |
| Check for the ears, man. | ||
| What are your other signs other than ears? | ||
| Ears is a good one, but the thing is, you can wear ear guards. | ||
| I don't have any cauliflower ear. | ||
| I have a little bit on this ear, but I wear ear guards. | ||
| It changes the way you hear things. | ||
| You don't want that cauliflower ear. | ||
| It's calcification. | ||
| My ears stick out already too much. | ||
| Oh, they would stick out wide. | ||
| Dude, it would be nuts. | ||
| I look like a bat. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have big old knots in your ears. | ||
| Yeah, I can't see that. | ||
| So there's no other signs of what a guy could be in MMA? No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Not really. | ||
| What about hands? | ||
| What about knuckles? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, you can tell and not tell. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| See, that's why you just got to be nice to people. | ||
| Yeah, be nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just be nice. | |
| Are you going to find yourself in one of those, you got it, bro, situations? | ||
| How about fucking Andy Ruiz, the new heavyweight champion? | ||
| Viva la raza, wey! | ||
| Viva la raza, wey! | ||
| You look at his body, you would think no fucking way. | ||
| And you look at Anthony Joshua sculpted out of marble. | ||
| Ben thought he was trash, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Ben saying it. | ||
| Ben saying it. | ||
| We've been saying Anthony Joshua was not that guy. | ||
| He never had it. | ||
| He is literally Ivan Drago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Literally. | |
| He's the UK Ivan Drago. | ||
| He looks the part. | ||
| Ladies love him. | ||
| He never had that skill in the ring. | ||
| I told him that when he came on Breakfast Club. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| He got dropped by Klitschko when he came back to knock him out. | ||
| Klitschko was 73 years old! | ||
| Klitschko was an old-ass man, dude. | ||
| And he's Ukrainian. | ||
| He's got Chernobyl in him and shit. | ||
| He was 73! | ||
| Nah, dude. | ||
| That's nuclear poisoning and shit. | ||
| He was very old. | ||
| He was trying to win an election for this crazy country. | ||
| He's got a lot of things going on in his life. | ||
| The real fight is Deontay Wilder, Tyson Fury 2. How about this? | ||
| Tyson Fury, closest thing we've had in the heavyweight division to Ali. | ||
| I'm not going to say Ali. | ||
| I said after that, I said a couple fights ago. | ||
| I think he is. | ||
| The head movement, the foot movement, at his size and weight. | ||
| Ali was doing that at 212 pounds. | ||
| His head movement last fight was very Ali-like. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Unreal, but at his size. | ||
| But Ali did that with George Foreman. | ||
| You see, there's a difference. | ||
| The guy that he was fighting, like that guy was... | ||
| But he did it with Deontay. | ||
| And Deontay is. | ||
| Yeah, he did it, but he also got dropped and almost murdered. | ||
| I thought he died. | ||
| Every time I look at him. | ||
| That 12th round when Deontay connected and then walked back and went like this. | ||
| Like that, game over. | ||
| And the fact that he just rose up and then outboxed him for the rest of the round. | ||
| That's all those years of therapy. | ||
| That's all those years of therapy and meditation. | ||
| When Deontay hit him and knocked him out, he was in that place of stillness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| He knows how to come up from that place to steal. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's what that was. | ||
| KOs are weird, man. | ||
| It's like sometimes a punch does not look like much and it drops you and puts you away. | ||
| And sometimes you get fucking flatlined like right there. | ||
| And it looks like you're over. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| I mean, I was amazed that the ref even gave him a count. | ||
| I thought it was going to call him out. | ||
| I thought the ref was going to wave their hands. | ||
| Meanwhile, this motherfucker rises up and doesn't even look wobbly. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| By the way, Anthony Joshua can't beat Tyson Fury. | ||
| He can't beat Deontay Wilder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He can't beat Luis Ortiz. | ||
| Well, I don't... | ||
| Luis is old, too. | ||
| Luis is a good 90 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's the thing. | |
| The word is, and I get this from a reliable source, is inside the fight community that Anthony Joshua got dropped in training camp right before the fight. | ||
| Bad. | ||
| By a guy from Philly, right? | ||
| I don't know who did it. | ||
| but bad to the point where he was KO'd essentially and that's why his dad went after the promoter after the fight you see his dad screaming at the promoter in the ring apparently he was just not he was not prepared to fight and he had he was looking bad in the locker room they were worried about it I was told he had a panic attack I was told he had a panic attack before the fight. | ||
| And if you remember, it took him a while to come to the ring. | ||
| They even played ring music and everything, but he never came out. | ||
| And I was told that if you noticed when he was walking out, they was rubbing his back and they were rubbing his head. | ||
| I heard he had a panic attack. | ||
| If you've been KO'd, like, within a week, it takes months to get your shit back together again. | ||
| The whole world is, like, shaky to you. | ||
| Your equilibrium's off. | ||
| So he was in there, and then when he dropped him, he's like, Jesus Christ, can we go again? | ||
| No, when he dropped Ruiz, he's like, good, let's get this motherfucker out of here. | ||
| And then he went right at him, and then, boom, he got clipped, and then it was over. | ||
| There's a, there was a, the biggest, what is it, the biggest upset in heavyweight history is Tyson versus Douglas, right? | ||
| Guess who got dropped in training camp? | ||
| Tyson did? | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Got dropped in training camp. | ||
| I forget the guy's name who dropped him, but his sparring partner dropped him in training camp. | ||
| There's video of it. | ||
| There's video of it. | ||
| He didn't KO him. | ||
| He took a knee. | ||
| But still, it's like, you got dropped. | ||
| Your body shut down for a second. | ||
| And it takes time to recover from that shit. | ||
| And not to mention, the night before, you was fucking a bunch of Japanese women with Bobby Brown in a hotel room and doing drugs. | ||
| By the fives. | ||
| Yeah, I'm saying. | ||
| Five at a time. | ||
| That'll take a toll out of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, it does. | |
| That'll take a toll. | ||
| If you read Bobby's book, Bobby said, Mike told him, I'll be right back. | ||
| Bobby was like, don't you got to fight tonight? | ||
| He was like, yeah, yeah, I'll be right back. | ||
| I'm going to knock this guy and I'll be right back. | ||
| And he still got up, but he still dropped Buster Douglas. | ||
| That's even crazier. | ||
| Did you ever watch the 30 for 30? | ||
| No. | ||
| About Buster Douglas? | ||
| No. | ||
| They had the 30 for 30. I didn't realize how much he dominated Mike Tyson during that fight. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It went round for round. | ||
| He was punishing Mike Tyson. | ||
| I don't remember that when I was young. | ||
| Buster Douglas is like one of the most talented guys that just didn't have the kind of drive and discipline that you needed to be a champion. | ||
| But when his mom died... | ||
| Mom or dad? | ||
| His mom. | ||
| It was mom, yeah. | ||
| That's what gave him all the drive. | ||
| Dude, he was hooking off the jab on Tyson. | ||
| Pop! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whap! | |
| Like in a beautiful way. | ||
| His skill was incredible. | ||
| And wasn't afraid. | ||
| He was a world beater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a world beater in that fight. | ||
| He needed the motivation. | ||
| No. | ||
| Holyfield fucked him up after that and he was basically done. | ||
| No, he was done. | ||
| But he's infamous. | ||
| Infamous, for sure. | ||
| He beat Mike Tyson when it meant something to beat Mike. | ||
| I found out about it after the fact. | ||
| I didn't watch the fight live. | ||
| I had a gig that night. | ||
| Oh, and I saw it in real time. | ||
| And then I watched it later, and I still was waiting for Tyson to get up and beat him. | ||
| I didn't believe it. | ||
| You didn't believe it. | ||
| I didn't believe it. | ||
| I remember watching that fight, and in my mind, I guess I wasn't really paying attention. | ||
| I was just like, this is longer than most Tyson fights. | ||
| I'm like, why is this going on so long? | ||
| You can have a dinner reservation on a Tyson night. | ||
| I'm like, and then when he finally got knocked out, I'm like, oh shit, Mike just lost. | ||
| Because you got to think, not only did we grow up watching Mike fuck people up, we grew up trying to beat him on Mike Tyson punch. | ||
| That shit was impossible. | ||
| So it's just like, that was an unbelievable moment. | ||
| I didn't feel like that with Ruiz and Joshua though. | ||
| Well, there's certain times when people lose and you can't believe they lost. | ||
| Like, for me, it was Roy Jones when Tarvin knocked him out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I was just like, what? | ||
| Un-fucking- Roy Jones, he stopped? | ||
| To this day, man. | ||
| Unreal. | ||
| If you watch in the second round, it's a really interesting thing that happens. | ||
| They both throw hooks. | ||
| And Tarver's just gets there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, well, Tarver's actually a southpaw, right? | ||
| So I think it's his. | ||
| It's kind of like a looping left. | ||
| But they exchange. | ||
| And Tarver just hits first. | ||
| Roy timed it. | ||
| And this is what happens. | ||
| I think when fighters get a little bit older, they lose a fraction of a second. | ||
| And that fraction of a second earlier in Roy's career, he's checking them, and then he's moving out of the way. | ||
| Well, I think the real... | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| Watch, watch the exchange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you see it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at them exchange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ready? | |
| It's... | ||
| And... | ||
| Yeah, boom. | ||
| At one point it changes everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything. | |
| Well, you know what Tarver's coach said? | ||
| That Tarver beat him in basketball. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And then when he saw that he beat him in basketball, he was a better athlete. | ||
| Who was his coach? | ||
| McGirt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it Buddy? | |
| I think it's Buddy McGirt. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think... | ||
| Fine if that's true. | ||
| Dude, we had Roy on Flayer 2, and I asked him, I was like, were you ever worried about getting knocked out and losing something, leaving something in the ring? | ||
| And he takes a second and he goes, I'll be honest with you, man, I didn't come in the ring with much sense to begin with, so I wasn't really worried about losing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Straight up, dude. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| Roy still got a crazy competitive nature, too. | ||
| Roy, was it last year? | ||
| Last year, Roy was hitting me because he really wanted to fight Michael B. Jordan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about Michael B. Jordan say that he thinks he can kill us? | |
| We were talking about it on the podcast, like, no! | ||
| Get out of there! | ||
| Roy was like, no, I really want to fight him. | ||
| Roy was like, y'all got the sponsors that can put the money up. | ||
| I think it was like $30 million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I made the call for him. | |
| And Michael was like, nah. | ||
| He was like, nah, we good on that. | ||
| Like, yo, Roy would fuck Michael B. Jordan though. | ||
| Don't let Creed fool you. | ||
| Don't let fucking Killmonger and Black Panther fool you. | ||
| You still run up on one of them old boxes right now. | ||
| Muscle memory will get you knocked the fuck out. | ||
| It wouldn't even be close. | ||
| It would be horrific. | ||
| And isn't that what happens? | ||
| It's like, some guys start, they start fight fighting or they start doing MMA. They start doing a little Brazilian jiu-jitsu or some shit like that, right? | ||
| And they put a couple chokes in, in like a safe, controlled environment. | ||
| And you get that, like, delusional confidence. | ||
| And that's why sparring is so important. | ||
| Do you remember the first time you guys sparred? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, not the first time. | ||
| I can't remember the last time. | ||
| Well, you were doing it since you were a kid, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, the first time I sparred, before I went in the ring, I was like, oh, I got this. | ||
| It's just combos, whatever. | ||
| I was fucking frightened. | ||
| Dude, frightened. | ||
| When the punches were coming back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was just a shell. | ||
| I just stopped. | ||
| Yeah, I haven't sparred since the last time I sparred. | ||
| I sparred with Sean Porter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This was nuts. | |
| And he was actually throwing punches. | ||
| Yeah, because I was mad. | ||
| But this shit don't mean nothing. | ||
| He was dodging them every single one of them. | ||
| I'm surprised he didn't knock your ass out, bro. | ||
| And this is one of the... | ||
| This guy's head movement is impeccable, man. | ||
| I mean, people have tried to attack him on the street and they miss every single time. | ||
| Joe, Joe, Joe, it's un-fucking-real, dude. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| What do you got here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it is! | |
| Is this you guys sparring? | ||
| Oh, yeah, that is us sparring. | ||
| Look at him going forward. | ||
| This is a PR move. | ||
| That's not a PR move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm trying to get some sweating. | |
| I'm trying to get some sweating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at you. | |
| Nah, you know why? | ||
| Because that shit is in Brooklyn and you got to be focused because there's people yelling in there, Yo, Charlamagne got on makeup! | ||
| Can I get a drop from the audience? | ||
| You left-handed? | ||
| No, I'm right-handed. | ||
| I was just trying to throw him off a little bit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You did it on purpose? | ||
| Man, he don't know what he's doing. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. | ||
| I'm all sluggish. | ||
| I'm not even bouncing. | ||
| Where is mine? | ||
| No feet movement. | ||
| Do you train in boxing? | ||
| Or were you just doing this for a goof? | ||
| Nah, I just wanted to go in there. | ||
| I was like, fuck it. | ||
| That's Sean Porter. | ||
| I'm a boxing fan. | ||
| I'm like, what the worst can happen? | ||
| You get knocked the fuck out? | ||
| Yeah, the worst can happen is he's mean. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| That could be terrible. | ||
| He's being super nice to you. | ||
| I'm just in there flat-footed. | ||
| Yeah, we not even really. | ||
| And we went three rounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And I was about to die at the end of those three rounds. | ||
| Did he touch you at all? | ||
| Bold thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| A few times. | ||
| That's why I haven't sparred since. | ||
| It's like staying in my fucking lane. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I hit the punching bag. | ||
| Callan spars all the time. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| Bro, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, Brian Callan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Brian Callan. | ||
| DJ Callan. | ||
| If there's one person that's not doing any cardio, it's DJ Callan. | ||
| Did you see the meme of after Ruiz won, Callan getting out of a car with his gut hanging out. | ||
| It's like all the big guys the day after Andy Ruiz wins the title. | ||
| Cali been working out on Snapchat for a whole year and didn't lose a motherfucking pound. | ||
| And got a Weight Watchers deal. | ||
| God bless America. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| He got a deal? | ||
| He got a Weight Watchers deal. | ||
| I mean, we are just watching his weight. | ||
| There's plus size models, right? | ||
| They're doing that now. | ||
| Like Nike and their Nike store has like a big mannequin, like a fat mannequin. | ||
| But they don't have plus size models for men, Joe. | ||
| There is nothing that enrages me more than fat models. | ||
| There is nothing that enrages me more than fat fucking model. | ||
| Okay, let me just say something. | ||
| As a comic, we want attention. | ||
| We don't feel like we deserve it. | ||
| So we make you laugh so there's an even exchange. | ||
| I get my attention, you get some joy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| An actor, they want attention. | ||
| They're not willing to write the script, but they'll memorize some lines. | ||
| They'll do a little bit of effort to get the attention. | ||
| A regular model, at least she's willing to lose weight so that she can be looked at. | ||
| But these fat bitches are just like, Look at me! | ||
| I deserve to be looked at! | ||
| Stop using the word bitches in 2019. Look at that. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That's the plus size model mannequin. | ||
| That doesn't enrage you guys? | ||
| That's the only thing I don't like about that. | ||
| That doesn't enrage you that they're like, just stare at me. | ||
| I'm going to eat bread all day. | ||
| No! | ||
| But you should stare at me. | ||
| The only thing that bothers me about that is that's out of context. | ||
| Because that's an oversized mannequin in workout clothes. | ||
| Is she going to lose the weight? | ||
| Yeah, she's trying to lose weight. | ||
| She's trying to better herself. | ||
| Okay, so I need it in some context. | ||
| If this is workout gear for overweight women who want to go lose weight, cool. | ||
| Other than that, why are you wearing workout gear? | ||
| Because she's trying to lose weight. | ||
| That's the only reason you'd be wearing that. | ||
| She'd be even bigger if she didn't work out. | ||
| Like Khaled. | ||
| Imagine if Khaled didn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
DJ Khaled needs to eat a salad! | |
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| You gotta have a DJ Khaled level of annoyance to succeed in life, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| Yes, you do. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You do, you do, you do, you do. | ||
| It's so much. | ||
| It's so much. | ||
| Button your fucking shirt. | ||
| There's no way you didn't know you could button your shirt. | ||
| He's the epitome of not being afraid to ask for things. | ||
| He looks like French toast. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Every time I look at him, it's French toast. | ||
| And he has no... | ||
| Look at this! | ||
| Where's the butter and the maple syrup? | ||
| Says he lost 15 kilograms. | ||
| What is that, 34 pounds? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Lost 34 pounds. | ||
| Listen, congratulations. | ||
| He can see his dick now. | ||
| Congratulations to him. | ||
| He looks a little slimmer on the right. | ||
| He does look a little slimmer. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Maybe it's a little better. | ||
| My only... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that real? | |
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| Weight Watchers. | ||
| I respect... | ||
| Callie came from radio. | ||
| Oh, did he? | ||
| Khaled came from radio. | ||
| Khaled used to do 12 midnight to 2 a.m. | ||
| on weekends at WEDR in Miami, if I'm not mistaken. | ||
| He used to do Friday and Saturday night. | ||
| And that was like 15 years ago. | ||
| So radio is a lot like comedy in a way, right? | ||
| There's sort of a fellowship. | ||
| Of radio people? | ||
| Respect people who did it? | ||
| Yeah, it's so few and far between that actually, I guess, make it, so to speak, that you know who those players are. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So, yeah, in a way. | ||
| Yeah, and there's so few, like, national ones. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Who's the nationally known radio guys? | ||
| Elvis Duran. | ||
| There's maybe a dozen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You, Elvis, Bobby, Tom Joyner. | |
| Tom's retiring this year. | ||
| What about Steve? | ||
| Is Steve national? | ||
| Steve's national. | ||
| See, I respect Steve and I respect Ryan Seacrest, but I don't really count those guys because they didn't start in radio. | ||
| Ryan Seacrest didn't start in radio? | ||
| Wasn't he always a radio guy? | ||
| I have no clue. | ||
| He was a radio guy. | ||
| I did his radio show in the 90s. | ||
| I didn't even know he did radio. | ||
| He still does radio. | ||
| He does radio. | ||
| That guy has like five jobs right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The guy from American Idol does radio every day. | |
| Does it in the morning. | ||
| And he does that secretary radio. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Like, hey, Dolores, you're the one who won. | ||
| Come on in and get your thing. | ||
| Like, that kind of shit. | ||
| By the way, Ryan is never off. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, we work for the same company. | ||
| We work for iHeart. | ||
| I've seen Ryan walk out the bathroom like he's walking on stage to introduce the next guest on American Idol. | ||
| Like, he's always on. | ||
| Yo, that was a perfect example where, like, your gay rumors trumped your Me Too rumors. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Remember when he caught the Me Too and, like, a girl said that he Me Too'd or whatever? | ||
| It was like a girl he worked with, right? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| And then everybody was like, the gay guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't think Ryan's gay though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, sure. | |
| I don't think Ryan's gay. | ||
| Okay, what is he? | ||
| What do you call it? | ||
| I think it's about right. | ||
| Ryan is one of those people. | ||
| He's too handsome. | ||
| He is a handsome, those fucking teeth. | ||
| But you don't think about sex with him. | ||
| So what is he? | ||
| What's the letter? | ||
| What, asexual? | ||
| Osexual? | ||
| It's an O. He's O positive. | ||
| He's O positive. | ||
| He's O positive. | ||
| L-P-G-T-A-O plus. | ||
| He's O. He's like, oh, you don't fuck dudes or chicks. | ||
| Okay, I see what it is. | ||
| He's always on. | ||
| Can you imagine him choking a girl? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
| I can imagine him. | ||
| She's beating him to death. | ||
| By the way, Ryan is one of those people that when you hear something about him, you'd be like, nah, not Ryan. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He has that kind of personality, which actually works in a lot of people's favor. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's great for top 40 radio. | ||
| It's great for secretaries that call in. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're the seventh caller! | ||
| Congratulations! | ||
| What'd you think about the finals of Game of Thrones? | ||
| Did it disappoint you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's that kind of weird, homogenized shit that some people thrive in that frequency. | ||
| He is so good at being authentic in the most inauthentic situations. | ||
| Explain. | ||
| Hosting a show is why American Got Talent, all that kind of stuff, where you've got to be really excited about somebody juggling dildos or some shit. | ||
| That's really inauthentic. | ||
| But he kind of comes across... | ||
| As believable, like sincere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or does it matter? | ||
| Meaning, like, does his reactions in those moments matter? | ||
| I just look at those fucking teeth. | ||
| If somebody wins, I don't know, and he's like, hey! | ||
| Does anybody care? | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| It's those teeth, man. | ||
| That's a pretty man. | ||
| Listen, he's America's host. | ||
| He is. | ||
| He's America's host, man. | ||
| He could host some dick. | ||
| In that song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's for sure. | ||
| But in that world. | ||
| Say what? | ||
| Dick put him on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dick who? | |
| Clark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| It's a fact. | ||
| Doesn't he do the New Year's countdown now, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does. | |
| God, he took a lot of jobs. | ||
| Man, listen, they was propping Dick's corpse up for like 10 years before they finally said, Ryan, just do it yourself. | ||
| Right, when he had a stroke and he would still do it? | ||
| No, I think Dick been dead, bro. | ||
| Wait, he had a stroke? | ||
| And he was doing it out the side of his mouth, like two-faced? | ||
| Well, he was struggling. | ||
| He was definitely struggling to talk. | ||
| That shit was so sad. | ||
| And it went from, he would do it, but then they would pop in on him in some studio, and he'd be sitting there struggling and talking. | ||
| I'm like, why do they keep Will and Dick Clark out for New Year's Eve? | ||
| Like, you're actually depressing people before the ball drops. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they had Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper. | ||
| That was a great combination. | ||
| She annoys me, man. | ||
| No, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kathy is the shit. | |
| It's a fucking lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up. | |
| I love Kathy Griffin. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| She enrages me. | ||
| Just like the fat models. | ||
| You know why I like Kathy? | ||
| Because Kathy don't give a shit. | ||
| I like Kathy for the same reason I used to like Joan Rivers. | ||
| I mean, I say used to because she's dead. | ||
| But I still love Joan. | ||
| Joan's a legend. | ||
| But they both didn't give a shit. | ||
| They were cut from the same cloth. | ||
| I don't know if they're cut from the same cloth. | ||
| I think so, man. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I used to love Anderson and Kathy Griffin together. | ||
| You never heard anybody say that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's always like someone's mom. | |
| That's your guilty pleasure? | ||
| Look at that chemistry. | ||
| We had Cathy on Breakfast Club. | ||
| After she cut Trump's head off? | ||
| After she cut Trump's fucking head off. | ||
| That was a strange thing. | ||
| What was strange about it is the fact that she didn't think she was going to suffer any consequences from that. | ||
| I think people forget that Donald Trump Even though he is the ex-executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice and he was a reality star, he's the president of the United States of America. | ||
| It's rules about threatening heads of state. | ||
| You just can't do things like that. | ||
| It's almost like if fucking Flavor Flav became president. | ||
| It would be hard for you to look at him as anything other than Flavor Flav. | ||
| But you better respect his position before those goddamn men in suits come knock on your fucking door. | ||
| If Flavor becomes president. | ||
| Well, Donald's the first guy who was famous, like, other than Ronald Reagan, I guess. | ||
| Ronald Reagan was famous as an actor, apparently. | ||
| Was he famous-famous? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think he was famous-famous. | ||
| He was in movies. | ||
| I didn't even know he was an actor. | ||
| I had no clue. | ||
| He was in big movies, and then became the governor of California, you know. | ||
| It's a weird one, right? | ||
| I mean, just having a famous person in a popularity contest is strange. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because you've got a built-in advantage. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it is a popularity contest. | ||
| You do realize that's how all of them are going to be moving forward. | ||
| Well, some people might say Obama was the first celebrity president. | ||
| He became a celebrity, though. | ||
| Ah, you don't think he was one before going into it? | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| I think there was something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not Trump. | |
| Nah. | ||
| Not Trump is on a different level. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trump had Domino's commercials, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Trump had rap songs named after him. | ||
| He had an airline. | ||
| He was. | ||
| Yeah, he had an airline. | ||
| He had a fucking hotel. | ||
| His name is on buildings all across the world. | ||
| Giant, giant Trump letters. | ||
| He was a brand. | ||
| Trump was the first brand to run for president. | ||
| Reagan might have been the first star. | ||
| Trump was the first brand. | ||
| But he was definitely a bigger star than Reagan, I think. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| Reagan is before our time. | ||
| It's hard to understand what it was like when he was a movie star. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let's call Betty White now, how big Reagan was. | ||
| Is Betty still alive? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Still kicking. | ||
| Do you have these people's numbers, Joe? | ||
| No, I don't have her number. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I haven't seen Betty in a while. | ||
| It's not like you become famous, you get on a Rolodex. | ||
| Here's a list of all these famous people. | ||
| Here's Keanu Reeves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's Betty White. | |
| I do have some famous people where I text them and I call them and I'm just like, this is so strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's the weirdest? | |
| I always feel like that. | ||
| Steven Tyler's a weird one from Aerosmith. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| We text each other and I'm like, all right. | ||
| That's the most surreal feeling ever. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's wild. | |
| It's weird. | ||
| I never get used to that. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's humbling though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's why I always say I don't do shit. | ||
| You talk. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I know people that have real talent. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People that I actually looked up to growing up that inspired me. | ||
| But I think that's what people like about you is that you recognize that in yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're not oblivious to that. | ||
| You're not delusional. | ||
| I mean, I kind of wanted the room to be like, well, no, you are talented. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm just like, fuck me. | ||
| You must have something. | ||
| Yo, you know what? | ||
| You are fucking normal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now that I think about it, you're a regular guy. | |
| I'll just double down on you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you know, it's good that you recognize that you are fucking normal. | |
| Let's change your name up a little bit. | ||
| But humanity like that, in that regard, that's important for people listening to me. | ||
| They want to know that you know. | ||
| You know, that you can't play a musical instrument, sing, or Do something crazy. | ||
| Well, don't they want to feel reflected? | ||
| Often at times, I think that your audience resonates to you like that. | ||
| It's like you are asking a lot of times the questions that they would love to ask these people. | ||
| Yeah, when I listen to you, I hear somebody who's still a fan. | ||
| And that's how I feel. | ||
| I'm still a fan. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| I have a curiosity about things. | ||
| And I'm not afraid to... | ||
| I don't know shit. | ||
| I just got some experiences. | ||
| I'm not an expert at nothing. | ||
| Everybody that I sit across from is way smarter than me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm fine with that. | ||
| Let's have a conversation. | ||
| I want to learn. | ||
| That's good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| That's it. | ||
| That's probably why you're successful. | ||
| It's the way the thing works. | ||
| People will be like, oh, I can't believe you would say, you would ask Elizabeth Warren about her Native American ancestry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was hilarious. | |
| Did you see that? | ||
| When you call her the original Rachel Dolezal. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| And Rachel's bi now, too. | ||
| But did you see the interview with him and Elizabeth Warren? | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| Where he calls her out on the Native American shit? | ||
| But, you know, here's the weird thing about her. | ||
| It's like, I don't necessarily think she told the truth in that interview. | ||
| And I don't know how she'd get away with it. | ||
| When she said that the Boston Globe did an investigation, they said that she didn't in any way profit off of that or have an advantage. | ||
| She's a liar. | ||
| She got hired from Harvard and she wrote Native American on her resume. | ||
| Like, they hired her based on her ethnicity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's a liar. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is fine. | ||
| Listen, I don't have no problem with my politicians lying. | ||
| They do it all the time. | ||
| But I want you to acknowledge your lie and hold yourself accountable. | ||
| Like, none of this shit is disqualified. | ||
| It's not the 80s anymore. | ||
| It's not the 90s where shit like that ruins you. | ||
| Just be honest. | ||
| Like, look. | ||
| I'm American. | ||
| I've cheated before. | ||
| I've taken shortcuts. | ||
| I fucking used to put the cheat code in Mike Tyson all the time just to get Mike Tyson and skip everybody else. | ||
| That's what we're based on. | ||
| So if she did that at some point in her life, was it a horrible thing to do? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Does it make her a terrible person forever? | ||
| No. | ||
| I buy what she was saying though that she was told that she was Native American because many people were and then they find out when they get a DNA test that it's not. | ||
| Didn't that happen to you? | ||
| Didn't it happen to you? | ||
| Well, it hasn't been disproven yet, but yeah. | ||
| What are you, Native American? | ||
| Yeah, I was like, growing up, around the time I was going to college, a guy that works with my dad found out that he filed the paperwork to his college 10 years after the fact and got a bunch of money back. | ||
| And so my dad's like, well, we're Native American. | ||
| We've been told our whole time. | ||
| So we're trying to prove it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| With birth certificates and whatnot. | ||
| And it's really hard to because they didn't keep a lot of information back then. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I put it on an application, got into Ohio State that way. | ||
| Got them. | ||
| And it was real weird when I was in the minority meeting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hall? | |
| On the orientation day, they gave me a letter to say, show up at this separate meeting. | ||
| You pulled a goddamn Elizabeth Warren. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You took a position from a hard-working Cherokee kid. | |
| But he did it in good faith. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| And it was the first time when I sent my application and it was like, what's your race? | ||
| I was like, I just found out I'm Native American, I guess, so I'm going to put that. | ||
| And no one checked, no one asked. | ||
| That's hilarious that people don't just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't know I was doing anything wrong. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| The wild thing about that is that conversation, people ask me why I said that. | ||
| I'm like, I'm just too dumb to know that that wasn't a question I wasn't supposed to ask. | ||
| You were supposed to ask that. | ||
| I thought so too. | ||
| I thought I was just having a conversation. | ||
| The idea that you're not is ridiculous. | ||
| That's a huge thing. | ||
| We need to find out how she reacts to the fact that she told a lie. | ||
| Does the rest of her family, did that fuck up the whole lineage? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Did the whole family start tearing shit down off the wall? | ||
| Like, oh my God, we're not Native Americans. | ||
| Dude, how many dream catchers were in the garbage that weekend? | ||
| That's That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Just feathers sticking out of hefty bags. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Once she learns that, then the whole family has to realize, damn, we're not Native American. | ||
| They had to fuck up some family reunions, right? | ||
| They had to. | ||
| Fuck up some tradition. | ||
| They had to. | ||
| Oh my lord. | ||
| There's a lot of people that were shaking their head after that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe. | |
| She actually got the DNA test. | ||
| Okay, can we talk about how fucked up Ticketmaster is real quick? | ||
| Yeah, you wanted to talk about that. | ||
| I really wanted to talk. | ||
| I just figured out. | ||
| I just put my mind together on this thing. | ||
| Yeah, it was a taxi sent me. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Ticketmaster. | ||
| Fat models, Ticketmaster. | ||
| We're going to take them all down. | ||
| Okay, so Ticketmaster, you know the place where you buy tickets. | ||
| I had no clue about this Ticketmaster thing. | ||
| I'm just starting to do some theaters and shit on the tour, so I'm starting to look at what they charge to do the processing and servicing, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a $30 or $40 ticket. | ||
| I looked at yours. | ||
| $40 tickets. | ||
| $16 in servicing. | ||
| For a service charge, yeah. | ||
| Is it per ticket as well? | ||
| Per fucking ticket. | ||
| 40%. | ||
| Don't they got to pay for shit in the venue? | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| That's the venue cost that you also got to pay. | ||
| It's just to process the ticket. | ||
| And if you want to pick up a will call, another $3. | ||
| It's unfathomable, right? | ||
| So I'm starting to think, I'm going, okay, for the first time in my life, I'm like, okay, I'm selling some tickets and everything's good, and I'm just getting a piece of the door, so I'm happy, right? | ||
| And my boy, who's like this genius fucking kid, OJ, Nigerian, all these Nigerians are geniuses, and he comes up to me, he's like, okay, but what about the processing fee for Ticketmaster? | ||
| How much are you getting off of that? | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| He's like, what percentage are you getting off of that? | ||
| I go, nothing. | ||
| He goes, wait. | ||
| But you're bringing all the ticket sales. | ||
| Why aren't you getting a piece that's 40% of your ticket price? | ||
| And I'm like, well, I don't know. | ||
| And he goes, and what about the data from the tickets being sold? | ||
| Are you getting that? | ||
| I go, no. | ||
| He goes, hold on. | ||
| So they're fucking you and getting paid to fuck you? | ||
| I go, what do you mean? | ||
| He goes... | ||
| The game is data now. | ||
| Any business that's successful right now is all about data acquisition. | ||
| Any business. | ||
| And data is not how many followers we have on Instagram because they could take your account away in a second. | ||
| How many subs do you get on YouTube because they could throttle your search. | ||
| We could see that happen all the time. | ||
| It's direct connect to fan. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And what Ticketmaster has done Is they're your ticketing site. | ||
| They get your email. | ||
| They get your data set. | ||
| They get all your fans. | ||
| They know exactly who your fans are. | ||
| And they email them and tell them when you're coming into town. | ||
| Or when somebody else. | ||
| Somebody that they might like that's like you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then they're getting paid an absorbent amount of money. | ||
| They're fucking over the fans on it. | ||
| So I'm like, I'm talking to him and he's like, yo, we got to just create another one of these. | ||
| We got to create another system that gives all that data to the comic. | ||
| Why is the middleman even there? | ||
| We could create a way cheaper ticketing service that gives every one of those emails to a comic. | ||
| And it's like comics used to do back in the days by putting the comic cards on the tables and you collect them afterwards. | ||
| You can have an email list for every time you go to Idaho, an email list for every time you go to New Jersey, an email list for all these different places. | ||
| That's what most authors do. | ||
| And Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart, that's how Kevin Hart came up. | ||
| Kevin Hart was going into all of these comedy clubs and he was getting everybody's motherfucking email. | ||
| People wonder why whenever Kevin would launch on these social media sites, he'd get all of these crazy followers immediately. | ||
| It's because of that road work he put in in those comedy clubs getting everybody's email. | ||
| He saw it before anybody. | ||
| I think Louis C.K. did that as well. | ||
| And Louis had this massive email and now you have direct connection with your fans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what your fans want. | ||
| Your fans don't want Ticketmaster telling them that Led Zeppelin's coming through. | ||
| They want to know when Rogan's coming through. | ||
| But you know Pearl Jam tried to fight them back in the day. | ||
| They have exclusive deals with certain venues. | ||
| They are top to bottom. | ||
| So they own Live Nation. | ||
| And Live Nation owns the venue. | ||
| So they're completely vertically integrated. | ||
| So if you want to play at the Garden or wherever the fuck it is, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you go... | ||
| We're going to process your tickets. | ||
| The only way you perform here is you do it with our promotion company, which is the Live Nation, and you're going to have to use our ticket processing fee and our venue. | ||
| They actually own the venues now. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| There's a handful of you guys that get to play those venues. | ||
| Now, I think with podcasts, now shows are 300 people. | ||
| There's going to be thousands of comics that have 300 fans. | ||
| And the venue where we perform is not imperative that it's this specific one. | ||
| It could be a comedy club. | ||
| It could be a hall. | ||
| It could be some conference center. | ||
| It could be anything. | ||
| It could be Airbnb. | ||
| But aren't you only doing Ticketmaster when you're doing these big-ass venues? | ||
| Well, sometimes, now that they're Live Nation, they own some certain clubs. | ||
| Well, I do. | ||
| I work with Live Nation. | ||
| So now Live Nation, all your shit is that. | ||
| You still do stand-up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Why not just do the podcast live every fucking way? | ||
| Different, man. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| Yeah, I like podcasts like this, where it's just people talking. | ||
| You do it differently when you're playing for an audience. | ||
| You perform for them and it becomes this weird thing. | ||
| Start dancing and shit. | ||
| It just is not the same. | ||
| It's not a real conversation. | ||
| I think the intimacy of podcasts, one of the things that people like about it is they listen in their ear. | ||
| They've got an earplug. | ||
| It's like you're talking to them, like you're right there. | ||
| When you're doing it live, it becomes a different thing. | ||
| Not that it's a bad thing, but it's a different thing. | ||
| Stand-up is way better. | ||
| It's just way more fun. | ||
| All I'm saying is, what are we doing with this? | ||
| You should have a direct connect to all your fans. | ||
| I should have a direct connect to all my fans. | ||
| Even the venues should have that as well. | ||
| Why are we giving away all the data? | ||
| To a company that's really not... | ||
| I know my agent's going to call me right after this and he's going to be like, why the fuck? | ||
| We have deals with Ticketmaster. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| So you want their emails. | ||
| You want your audience's emails, basically. | ||
| And that's what the audience wants. | ||
| And I don't want my audience to get charged $16 every time they buy a ticket. | ||
| Where does that money go? | ||
| It costs $16 for you to process a ticket? | ||
| Why not just give out... | ||
| 40% of the ticket price. | ||
| Why not just create an email... | ||
| And when you're at these venues, just put it up on the Jumbotron and be like, yo, email me after the show. | ||
| I mean, that's one more step. | ||
| Or we could just create the ticket processing that charges them way less and already starts aggregating the emails. | ||
| And then if you want to get real crazy with it, you have a boy of yours that, like, let's say my buddy Akash, right, that I do a podcast with. | ||
| It's like, hey Akash, you're about to go on tour? | ||
| Yo, why don't you just use my data set, man? | ||
| They're going to know you from doing a podcast with me. | ||
| Maybe they'll want to see you. | ||
| It's like, we get to empower each other through that shit. | ||
| Am I making sense? | ||
| No, it makes sense. | ||
| The thing is specifically about data, about the email list, and about they get that if you show up in these different places. | ||
| They get the email address because that's how people get their tickets. | ||
| But you get the option of saying, because they'll ask you, they'll say, can Ticketmaster... | ||
| Reply to you or can Ticketmaster send you the latest updates and news and events? | ||
| You can click no. | ||
| And I click no all the time. | ||
| Sure, that's Ticketmaster. | ||
| But you would click yes if it was us and it was somebody who you were invested in going to see. | ||
| You just don't want Ticketmaster promoting random events. | ||
| Depends what you're sending me. | ||
| But even if you click no, Ticketmaster still gets your email address and might sell it. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Even if you just click no, like, do you want updates from Ticketmaster? | ||
| You're not saying, is it okay if this company just starts selling my email address? | ||
| Because that's what they do. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| Bro, they own us anyway. | ||
| But they don't have to. | ||
| I'm saying now, like, everybody that's coming out to your shows is coming out from this podcast. | ||
| They're not coming out because of Ticketmaster. | ||
| And if you use a different email service or ticketing service, they would come out with that one. | ||
| There was a Sam Harris podcast where he talked about this, where he had on this expert, and they were discussing how data is, it's like a commodity that no one knew was a commodity, and we signed off on it before we realized it, and these people that don't provide any service are getting that data, and it's worth billions and billions of dollars, which is essentially what Facebook is. | ||
| But it's also shaping the way we communicate with each other because the things that attract people are conflict, right? | ||
| So the things that get you to engage are conflict. | ||
| So that's the stuff that shows up in your email feed or your Facebook feed. | ||
| They find out what's going to annoy you. | ||
| And that's the shit that they show you. | ||
| That's why OJ has 800,000 followers in two fucking days. | ||
| Instantly on Twitter, which nobody grows on Twitter anymore. | ||
| Yo, but at least Twitter, at least Facebook, they're not charging. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My issue with, if Ticketmaster was like, hey, here's a free service. | ||
| We just want to get your data. | ||
| I'd be like, all right, boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| But Facebook is charging. | ||
| You're going to charge me? | ||
| You're going to fuck me in my ass and make me pay you? | ||
| I think Facebook is charging. | ||
| They're just not charging. | ||
| For ads. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, think about it. | ||
| They've stolen a lot of data from people in a lot of ways. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So that is a charge. | ||
| Because you signed up for something, but you didn't know you were signing up for that. | ||
| I didn't know I was giving you all of this. | ||
| What's weird to me, man, is fucking when you're talking about something and then those ads show up in your Google feed. | ||
| We were just talking about coolers. | ||
| And I looked at my Google News feed and there's ads for coolers. | ||
| I'm like, how does my phone know I was talking about coolers? | ||
| That's why I said they own us. | ||
| You know what else is crazy? | ||
| When you get in your car and you look down at your phone and it says 32 minutes to wherever the fuck you're going... | ||
| That shit happens to me all the time. | ||
| He knows where you're going to go without you deciding. | ||
| Look at your phone! | ||
| It'll be like 32 minutes to whatever gym I go to. | ||
| It used to tell me 40 minutes to work in the morning. | ||
| Now it says 40 minutes to Starbucks. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I'm like, I drink Starbucks every morning. | ||
| And there's a Starbucks by my job in the building. | ||
| But that's where it tells me I'm going every morning. | ||
| I watched one video of Robbie Williams. | ||
| You know that English singer? | ||
| It was a YouTube video with him and Tyson Fury. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just clicked. | |
| It was two minutes long. | ||
| Every other ad on Instagram is RobbieWilliamsLive. | ||
| So it's not good. | ||
| The targeting isn't perfect. | ||
| I'm not going to buy those tickets. | ||
| But my point is, it's scary. | ||
| One YouTube video and then a completely different platform? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is all within the last decade. | ||
| They figured out how to do this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if we unplug, we're still plugged in. | ||
| If we were all to delete everything that we have on social media right now, they got us already, bro. | ||
| That's why I don't like all that Snapchat shit with the face filters and all that. | ||
| Did you see what they did to him? | ||
| What'd they do to you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What'd they do to me? | |
| Oh, the AI thing? | ||
| This was nuts. | ||
| They made a complete deep fake. | ||
| They basically took all the recordings of me talking and made me say words that I've never said before. | ||
| It talked about me sponsoring a hockey team made entirely of chimpanzees and a bunch of other crazy shit that I might actually say, but it said it. | ||
| I've never said those things. | ||
| So they use my voice with artificial intelligence. | ||
| All the sounds that my mouth makes, and they use it with all the right inflections, and they create these sentences. | ||
| Jay Pharoah is out of a job. | ||
| Jay Pharoah. | ||
| They just passed the legislation about that. | ||
| About deepfake images. | ||
| Yeah, the congresswoman from Brooklyn, I can't remember her name. | ||
| She just passed the legislation about deepfakes. | ||
| They also did video of the Mona Lisa talking. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| They got the Mona Lisa. | ||
| They took the painting of the Mona Lisa and now she's opening her mouth and saying things. | ||
| They can do it with Abraham Lincoln. | ||
| How can you believe anything you hear on social media anymore, yo? | ||
| It's going to be in a few years, you're not going to be able to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A few? | |
| Now! | ||
| You don't know what's true and what's not true and nobody cares about the truth and the lies more entertaining. | ||
| Maybe that's better. | ||
| Maybe now we can say fucked up shit and be like, bro, deep fake. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Definitely deep fake. | ||
| Well, you're already getting porn with actresses. | ||
| They're taking actresses' face and putting them on porn stars and you can't tell. | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| Yeah, you could fuck everyone. | ||
| And now they're going to be able to do that with virtual reality. | ||
| VR porn. | ||
| Yeah, they have that. | ||
| VR porn, and they put something on your dick so it feels like... | ||
| Yeah, they could put one of them little things that jerks you off. | ||
| Eh. | ||
| No, you're faithful now. | ||
| You're going to need this, bro. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| I'm old school. | ||
| You like your palm. | ||
| Yo, I just started fucking listening to Audible books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Because I'm old school. | ||
| I like flipping the pages of the book. | ||
| I just started listening to Audible only because of time purposes. | ||
| And it's like listening to long-form podcasts. | ||
| I'm like, you know what? | ||
| Fucking, I'm still getting the information. | ||
| And I feel like at this age, I retain information more by hearing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So I'm not about to go start fucking virtual reality, pussy. | ||
| No. | ||
| Here's the shit that's not porn, but could be interesting. | ||
| Have you seen the one about the basketball games? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Okay, so they put a few cameras so you can sit front row, but in VR. Ooh. | ||
| I don't think I would mind that. | ||
| That sounds amazing. | ||
| You're looking around, you're seeing all the people that are actually there, and you're front row at the game. | ||
| Yo, last month I went to... | ||
| I got to use the bathroom. | ||
| I went to Disney, and I went to that fucking... | ||
| That Avatar... | ||
| Avatar... | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Flights of Passage. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Amazing, right? | ||
| I had to write it twice. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| That shit was incredible. | ||
| And you know, I got anxiety, right? | ||
| So I'm on it, and I'm like, holy shit! | ||
| Until you just remember, I'm not even moving. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then it's just like, it settles everything for you, and then you can just enjoy the actual experience. | ||
| And that helped me. | ||
| I was telling my therapist about it, because that helps me when I'm dealing with my anxiety, because it's like, you know, breathing exercises, things that get you back to center. | ||
| Even though you're falling, and you can feel the dragon breathing on you, it's just like, when you realize... | ||
| You're really not moving. | ||
| It just brings you right back to center. | ||
| Then you're okay. | ||
| Then you're fine. | ||
| You can't do that on a roller coaster. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's because that's real. | ||
| Yes, it's real. | ||
| But if they have a roller coaster with virtual reality, like if you're wearing virtual reality goggles and they put you on a roller coaster. | ||
| But I can enjoy... | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| They put these goggles on, and then while you're on this rollercoaster, you're experiencing things that aren't really there. | ||
| But you're going through wormholes, and you're traveling, and you're seeing things happen in front of you. | ||
| I'd have a heart attack. | ||
| I'd have a panic attack. | ||
| That's not something I want to experience. | ||
| I'm glad you talk about anxiety. | ||
| I'm glad you talk about it the way you do because I think you've opened it up for a lot of people. | ||
| I think you've made it a subject that's okay to talk about for someone like you who's like a cool guy who's a smart dude who is successful and talks openly about anxiety and about how it's affected you. | ||
| I think you're doing a very big service for that. | ||
| I didn't even know what anxiety was until 2010. Because growing up in the environment that I grew up in, I just thought all those feelings were normal. | ||
| I thought all those feelings of paranoia or being anxious all the time. | ||
| And I used to smoke weed. | ||
| So when you smoke weed and you have a panic attack, you just blame it on the weed. | ||
| I remember driving to Burger King one time with two of my homeboys. | ||
| One of them is dead now. | ||
| His name is Jarrell. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| And my man Zeke. | ||
| And I was high as hell and my steering wheel needed like steering fluid so it was shaking. | ||
| So it was shaking my legs and I'm bugging out just driving the Burger King a two-mile ride. | ||
| I'm like, yo, one of y'all got to drive. | ||
| We're all going to die. | ||
| You better take the wheel right now. | ||
| Take the wheel right now. | ||
| I'm going to crash this motherfucking car. | ||
| I'm tripping the fuck out. | ||
| And they looking at me like, yo, don't let this motherfucker smoke no more. | ||
| But it had nothing to do with the weed. | ||
| The weed probably accentuated though, no? | ||
| Definitely did. | ||
| Because when I found out what anxiety was in 2010 and I didn't start going to therapy until like two years ago. | ||
| Because back in 2010 when I got diagnosed with my first Panic attack that somebody, the doctor was saying, hey, this is a panic attack. | ||
| I had just gotten fired from radio for the fourth motherfucking time. | ||
| And I was back at home living with my mom at like 31 years old with a two-year-old daughter and, you know, collecting unemployment checks. | ||
| So when I'm having this panic attack and I go to the doctor and he's like, yo, your heart is fine. | ||
| You got a perfectly fine heart. | ||
| You're healthy. | ||
| You got an athlete's heart. | ||
| He was like, yo, are you stressed about anything? | ||
| I'm like, fuck yeah. | ||
| So in my mind, all I gotta do is get me another job, get back in position, and everything will be okay. | ||
| But when you get back in position, and you've made more money than you've ever made in your life, and you've got books that are selling and TV shows and all of this other shit, and you're still having those same panic attacks, you're like, well, what the fuck is going on with me? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| Pressure. | ||
| You think you're going to lose everything. | ||
| It's also, you experience pressure that most people will never experience because you experience pressure at this public scale. | ||
| It's not just pressure. | ||
| It's pressure with people's eyes on you and expectations and criticisms and all these different things that the average person is not going to experience that for millions of people. | ||
| And you do. | ||
| And it's just like, it's always on. | ||
| And if you're one of those crazy fucks that reads comments, good luck. | ||
| Lord have mercy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good luck. | |
| We love that. | ||
| That was my problem for years. | ||
| At first I used to enjoy it. | ||
| Because I was the guy who came up on YouTube looking at all these world star hip-hop conspiracy theories about people. | ||
| And you'd be like, oh my god, this motherfucker sacrificed his hamsters and that's how he got successful. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You think all that shit is cool. | ||
| Until you get older and you start seeing things about you and you laugh at it at first. | ||
| Until you realize, now they're really starting to say some wild shit. | ||
| What was the craziest one that you heard about you? | ||
| I mean, for me, you know what it is. | ||
| When they tried to Me Too the fuck out of me last year. | ||
| Oh, yeah, they tried to get him out of here. | ||
| You know, that was the most... | ||
| That was the wildest one to me because I was always the person that said, live your truth so nobody can use your truth against you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's not like they bought up anything that I hadn't spoken about numerous times before or written about in my books. | ||
| They just decided to attack. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Targeted. | ||
| Targeted, planned attack. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| Can it? | ||
| So for me, that was like... | ||
| Alright, this is going too far, but then it's like, you really can't do anything about it. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| There's no way to fight it. | ||
| Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, there's no way to put the toothpaste back in the tube. | ||
| So the only thing you can do is just either let it consume you and probably ruin you just because you took it all in, or you just keep it the fuck moving. | ||
| You have to be confident enough to know what's the truth and what's not the truth. | ||
| Yeah, and so now you don't read any comments anymore? | ||
| I don't go on Twitter at all. | ||
| Twitter's too toxic. | ||
| We're in verbally abusive relationships with our fucking smartphones. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| It's definitely not healthy. | ||
| We were talking about it yesterday, me and Duncan Trussell. | ||
| We were saying that it's like your diet. | ||
| Like your diet, if you take in junk food all the time, eat a bunch of shitty things that are unhealthy, it's not good for your body. | ||
| Well, your mental diet is important too. | ||
| And if you're always taking in these toxic arguments, I mean, half of Twitter is just people screaming at each other and just yelling and insulting each other and trying to find ways in this person's being shitty or wrong or negative. | ||
| And it's like, that's not real life. | ||
| No. | ||
| The real life that we experience and that we're designed to experience is like this. | ||
| People interacting with each other. | ||
| Reasonably. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I think people like podcasts so much, especially good podcasts where people have real conversations, is because you go, "Oh, okay, this resonates with me." Whereas Twitter does not resonate with you. | ||
| Twitter just gets you anxious. | ||
| It gets you upset. | ||
| Conversations where people are actually being nice to each other in person, looking at each I don't do podcasts over Skype. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I want to see you. | ||
| I want you to be in the room with me. | ||
| I want everyone to know we're going to be okay. | ||
| When you have these conversations and people listen to them just one-on-one like this or two-on-one, this is kind of what we're doing now. | ||
| This makes sense to people. | ||
| That's one of the reasons when I'm out and about, and if I'm at the airport and somebody comes up to me and talks to me, I speak to them. | ||
| Because I feel like that interaction was supposed to happen. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Twitter, Instagram, I ain't supposed to be talking to you on this shit. | ||
| Human beings are not wired to be that wired. | ||
| Everybody should not have that kind of access to you. | ||
| So it's just like, we gotta take back some of that access. | ||
| And you see the facade fall apart when you respond to one of their tweets. | ||
| Like someone would be like, fuck you, Charlamagne, you ain't shit. | ||
| And then you could be like, why? | ||
| And they'd be like, I'm just playing, bro. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| I didn't really know what to say. | ||
| There's always that. | ||
| They're just trying to get a reaction. | ||
| They just want a reaction. | ||
| In my mind, if people, if you like somebody, right, you see them, you're going to go up to them and speak to them. | ||
| I just try to gauge things on how I would do it, right? | ||
| For example, I was on a plane with Steve Nash this morning. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I saw Steve Nash. | ||
| I'm like, Wax is like, oh shit, Wax, my boy, he's like, oh shit, that's Steve Nash. | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit, that's Steve. | ||
| I didn't speak to Steve. | ||
| Did you say hello? | ||
| No. | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I didn't feel it. | ||
| Even though I respect him. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Know he's a great player. | ||
| I feel like John Stockton. | ||
| That's a little different. | ||
| That's a little different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Steve, I didn't feel it. | ||
| I didn't feel it. | ||
| There's some people you have to say hi to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Say what? | |
| There's some people you have to say hi to. | ||
| Rachel Dolezal. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said hi. | |
| Did you? | ||
| I met her. | ||
| Seattle. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Where was she? | ||
| I saw her with, I think she had at least one kid, maybe another one. | ||
| She was just at the airport. | ||
| We're online. | ||
| She's bisexual now, too. | ||
| No TSA pre-checks. | ||
| She's bisexual now, too. | ||
| She's bisexual, biracial. | ||
| Oh, no, she's not biracial. | ||
| Transracial. | ||
| She is black. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Transracial. | |
| She's not both. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Transracial. | |
| I know, but what I'm saying is she's bi, so she's straight and gay with the thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I said hello, said what's up, amazing forehead, one of the best foreheads you'll ever see in a game. | ||
| Unreal. | ||
| I would have ignored her. | ||
| What? | ||
| I would have ignored her. | ||
| You wouldn't have got the selfie? | ||
| No! | ||
| I saw Jussie Smollett. | ||
| I took a picture of him. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| In Lafayette Bakery. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen with him? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Absolutely nothing. | ||
| It's amazing nothing legally. | ||
| It's amazing legally. | ||
| Oh, I think Chicago's coming after him, though. | ||
| You think so? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Didn't they say that they were going to... | ||
| They're trying to get him for the money. | ||
| For the money that they spent. | ||
| But that's not that much. | ||
| There's no such thing as cancel culture no more. | ||
| Cancel culture is absolute bullshit. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| O.J. Simpson proved that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| When Bill Cosby comes home, he'll be on the road doing motherfucking stand-up. | ||
| R. Kelly's still out here selling shows. | ||
| Charlie Sheen is still out here flourishing. | ||
| Charlie Sheen ducked it all. | ||
| Dude, what? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Not all. | ||
| He did get that AIDS. He's got AIDS, buddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got the good AIDS? Today with medication. | |
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is HIV? Come on, man. | |
| What is HIV? Some say the greatest endorsement deal Magic Johnson ever signed. | ||
| I'm saying, we're not going to act like his career didn't flourish! | ||
| And he looks great! | ||
| Take this A2, go and get some movie theaters! | ||
| I was in my car the day they announced on the radio that Magic Johnson had HIV, and I was shitting my pants. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, this is like the beginning of a zombie movie. | ||
| We're all going to get it. | ||
| If Magic Johnson, with all his money and all his fame, if he's got it, I'm going to get it. | ||
| We're all going to get it. | ||
| I was terrified. | ||
| Did you stop brawling? | ||
| I remember in my car, driving, and then I hear it on the radio. | ||
| I'm like, holy shit! | ||
| Holy shit, this is insane! | ||
| 30 years later, he looks great. | ||
| He looks amazing. | ||
| He looks great! | ||
| He's on TV telling us why he left the motherfucking Lakers. | ||
| He's like, fuck the Lakers. | ||
| Not once did somebody say, yo, you know Magic got HIV? Oh, I said it. | ||
| That's all I was thinking about. | ||
| Every time I see him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Knock it off. | |
| Because he looks incredible. | ||
| He does look incredible. | ||
| He does look incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's not even positive in tests anymore. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Yeah, I heard that yeah if you give them a test for HIV comes up negative Because apparently there were these protease inhibitors and all these different things that they take to to the different medications You don't even test positive for HIV anymore by the way Then listen is this is this older white dude and I forgot what TV show I was on the set of but he was explaining to me uh-huh the whole situation with magic and And he was like, the reason that they chose magic was because they wanted to erase a lot of these stigmas. | ||
| People thought that HIV and AIDS was a gay disease and they needed like an alpha male, I guess, to have it to kind of erase that stigma and to let people know that you can live with it. | ||
| Like HIV and AIDS... You mean like they gave it to him? | ||
| Well, this is what he told us. | ||
| This is not... | ||
| By the way, this is not a Charlamagne Tha God, Terry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right? | |
| All right. | ||
| I'm telling you what somebody told me. | ||
| What they said to me was Magic Hat got caught up in some type of scandal. | ||
| Oh, I heard this. | ||
| Underage, right? | ||
| Yeah, and before the scandal came out, because the person that he was with was like some... | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Some bigwig's child or something like that. | ||
| And so they said, this is what you're going to do so we don't ruin you. | ||
| I'm not saying it's true. | ||
| Now, Joe, before you take this in, he believes in Sasquatch. | ||
| No, I'm not saying I believe this! | ||
| He doesn't. | ||
| He believes Sasquatch was real. | ||
| That just started right now on this podcast. | ||
| If I asked him yesterday, he'd dig 100% there. | ||
| Sasquatch is unreal. | ||
| I'm not saying I believe that magic theory. | ||
| I'm just repeating what I was told. | ||
| That is a common rumor that's out there. | ||
| I've heard that rumor as well. | ||
| That he doesn't actually have it, but that it was either that or... | ||
| But we just got done saying how you read rumors about you that are ridiculous, and you go, what the fuck? | ||
| And then you realize, oh, this is what happens. | ||
| People just make shit up, and then people repeat the shit that people make up. | ||
| Because we can't fathom that he beat AIDS, bro. | ||
| AIDS was bodying people back in the day. | ||
| Freddie Mercury. | ||
| Freddie, gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Eazy-E. Eazy-E, my downstairs neighbor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was your downstairs neighbor? | ||
| No, no, I had a downstairs neighbor who had eights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I learned about eights real young. | |
| I thought Andrew was in his 30s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, what the fuck? | |
| Look at him, yo. | ||
| Book Charlie Sheen for $350. | ||
| Book him where? | ||
| On Cameo. | ||
| Oh, on Cameo. | ||
| Why does he have sunglasses on? | ||
| What is happening here? | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| He's strange. | ||
| He aged very quickly. | ||
| He seemed to be fine when he was doing Two and a Half Men. | ||
| When he stopped doing that show, he aged like a hundred years. | ||
| Joe, he has HIV. We don't know how it's affecting him. | ||
| That's true too. | ||
| I forgot he has HIV. I forgot. | ||
| Everybody's not Magic Johnson here. | ||
| I forgot he has it. | ||
| Magic. | ||
| By the way, that is why I say Magic is the greatest NBA player of all time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because of that, he played 13 seasons in the NBA, went to nine NBA Finals, won five of them, won in college, came in, won his rookie year, and went one-on-one with HIV and fucking won. | ||
| Destroyed. | ||
| He destroyed the stigma of HIV. He definitely did. | ||
| Anybody that catches HIV right now, the first thing you're going to say to yourself is, give me Magic, Doc. | ||
| I can live through anything if Magic made it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Magic's fine. | ||
| 30 years later, he's okay. | ||
| It's not a death sentence anymore. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And by the way, What's worse? | ||
| Herpes all over your dick for life. | ||
| Not that it comes back and forth, but it's always there. | ||
| Open blisters. | ||
| Forever? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Or having HIV. Definitely. | ||
| Herpes. | ||
| It's worse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because HIV, they can basically cure it. | ||
| If you have just the herpes on your dick forever, meaning those blisters don't go away, you can't even fuck. | ||
| It'll hurt. | ||
| No, the blisters go away. | ||
| No, but he's saying that you get it forever. | ||
| Do they? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have outbreaks. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I'm saying this specific type of real hardcore herpes, they never go away. | ||
| They're just always there. | ||
| They have one that doesn't go away? | ||
| Hypothetically. | ||
| I don't want no hypothetical herpes. | ||
| Did you ever see the Damon Wayans bit about Magic when Magic came back to the NBA? No, no. | ||
| About nobody wanted to block him, except Dennis Rodman. | ||
| Dennis Rodman's like, fuck you, I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. | ||
| Dude, people don't give Damon Wayans enough credit. | ||
| No, Damon's a goat, man. | ||
| He's one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| They don't give him enough credit. | ||
| He is. | ||
| We had to actually delete a Damon Wayans joke from The Breakfast Club. | ||
| Because it used to play. | ||
| You know how you have stuff that plays as a loop? | ||
| We had to delete it once the Me Too time's up era came. | ||
| Can you say it? | ||
| I mean, I'll say it. | ||
| Damon Wayans! | ||
| Damon Wayans was on The Breakfast Club and he was talking about the Bill Cosby situation. | ||
| He just goes, yo man, have you seen the women that are accusing Bill Cosby? | ||
| They're all unrapeable. | ||
| Damon Wayans said that. | ||
| Swinging for the fences. | ||
| He always has. | ||
| Always has. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck, man. | ||
| But we do. | ||
| So that's why we took that shit out of rotation. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I'm not taking the heat for somebody else's words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When he said, Dennis Rodman said, I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. | |
| Bro, think about when Karl Malone. | ||
| Think about Karl Malone. | ||
| Everybody, right now, Karl Malone would get so much flack for this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What'd he say? | |
| But in the 90s, what he said made sense. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Because none of us really knew what HIV AIDS was. | ||
| Do you remember what he said? | ||
| What'd he say? | ||
| Oh, about... | ||
| Karl was like, I'm not playing basketball with him. | ||
| Like, what if I hit him and he starts bleeding and he gives me like... | ||
| But that was what a lot of people were thinking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| How could you be mad at him for not knowing, for being ignorant? | ||
| People are worried about mosquitoes, remember that? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| What about mosquitoes? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I mean, yeah, that's reasonable though, right? | ||
| I think. | ||
| I mean, it works with Ebola and other shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, not with Ebola. | |
| Yeah, if they can give you birth flu or some shit, or malaria, why can't they give you some HIV? Bro, we used to be inside. | ||
| Somebody said you can't get it in your mouth. | ||
| I thought this was propaganda, but like, you can't get it in your mouth. | ||
| Well, if someone comes in your mouth? | ||
| Yeah, you can't get it. | ||
| Does the magic tell you that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| Free tickets to the movie theater for life? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are you talking about, Joe? | ||
| That would be the line, right? | ||
| If you got HIV AIDS, like, look, you can't get it. | ||
| You can't get it. | ||
| There's no way to get it, though. | ||
| It's coming in your mouth. | ||
| It's coming in your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't worry. | |
| That wouldn't be the line, bro. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Did you just put it up? | ||
| All the mosquitoes are carriers of yellow fever, dengue fever, Japanese encephalitis. | ||
| There's no evidence that mosquitoes can transmit HIV. Studies with HIV have shown clearly the virus disappears in the mosquito after about one to two days. | ||
| Yeah, but what if that shit bites you and then bites you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Bro, look at that last line. | ||
| I've never heard it described like that. | ||
| The time required for the mosquito to digest the blood meal? | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You don't even talk about vampires like that. | ||
| The blood meal. | ||
| So that means if they get someone who's got HIV and then they get to you within one to two days, doesn't that seem like it would get you? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| It's a reasonable thing to ask. | ||
| These are reasonable things to ask. | ||
| I don't have to worry about shit like that. | ||
| I'm married. | ||
| Well, the real fear is pandemic diseases. | ||
| I'm out the game. | ||
| Yeah, but not for fucking... | ||
| We're talking about you're on the beach in Anguilla and some dude with the... | ||
| Charlie Sheen's next to you. | ||
| Spitting in you. | ||
| Spitting in your mouth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just some tiger blood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Tiger blood! | ||
| You remember people used to use that? | ||
| Hashtag tiger blood. | ||
| Hashtag winning. | ||
| Yo, Charlie had a moment. | ||
| He had a moment. | ||
| He had a moment. | ||
| H.I.V. killed his moment. | ||
| That was the thing that killed his moment. | ||
| That's the only thing we couldn't handle. | ||
| That was the only thing. | ||
| That's the only thing. | ||
| Before that, he was his fucking guy. | ||
| You're not winning anymore, bro. | ||
| You got the him. | ||
| Yeah, that winning shit don't sound too... | ||
| I don't believe you, right? | ||
| He's coughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| You're not winning, bro. | ||
| Yeah, he was a wild dude. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| The difference between Magic and Charlie, I don't think Charlie was ever cool to anybody. | ||
| Magic was cool to people. | ||
| Yeah, we wanted to be Magic at some point in our lives. | ||
| Everybody wanted to be Magic Johnson. | ||
| What are you showing? | ||
| His stand-up is that big. | ||
| That was in 2011. This was when he was on that big thing. | ||
| But that's the problem. | ||
| Well, you know what fixed that, though? | ||
| Russell Peters fixed that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How? | ||
| Russell Peters fixed it because he went with him. | ||
| So what happened was, Charlie was trying to do it by himself, and really didn't have anything to say, and people would get bored after a while, and they would boo him. | ||
| And he was like, oh, fuck you, I have your money, and he's like a bunch of dumb shit, because he tried to do this live tour, but he didn't plan it out. | ||
| So then what he did is he brought Russell Peters with him. | ||
| So Russell, who's the best at work in the crowd, He could just make something out of nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So Russell just got him to talk, and then Russell would start talking shit and making fun, and someone would say something. | ||
| Russell would incorporate that. | ||
| Russell treated it like a comedy show and turned it into something that was actually good. | ||
| I had no clue it was good. | ||
| So then a bunch of people would go see him live. | ||
| He should have been working. | ||
| Well, Russell's there, so it's going to be good because Russell's there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Russell's going to handle it and turn it into funny. | ||
| So I was going to just do the podcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what he should have did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he had all that hype. | ||
| There was no podcast back then. | ||
| Nobody cared about podcasts. | ||
| It was early. | ||
| He would have some stories, though, dude. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| All those crack stories and the hookers. | ||
| If you're willing to tell them, though. | ||
| Oh, he'll tell them. | ||
| He already got AIDS. What's worse? | ||
| Well, you remember when he was on television, he was talking about just smoking rocks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the people were like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what are you saying? | ||
| But did that excite people in 2019? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Like, we've seen all the crack heads. | ||
| No, back then it was the right window of time. | ||
| It was like him coming through and just being unapologetic about doing drugs, and you don't pay hookers to fuck you, you pay them to leave. | ||
| The kind of shit that he was saying. | ||
| Everybody was like, what? | ||
| It was unapologetic, and that's why it resonated. | ||
| And that's also why no one could get him with a Me Too thing. | ||
| It's like, what are you going to say? | ||
| Of course, he'll tell you what he did. | ||
| First of all, no woman is going to say they slept with Charlie Sheen. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Maybe he did that to protect him. | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he mean mean? | |
| Did he mean mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you're about to catch that Me Too, you just go, I got AIDS! And those girls get quiet real quick! | |
| Holy shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's genius! | |
| We just found a way around the system! | ||
| It might be a cheat code. | ||
| What if that's what Leo says every time a girl leaves the house? | ||
| Oh, by the way... | ||
| Positive. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're not going to say shit. | ||
| Maybe he's just really nice to them. | ||
| They like him. | ||
| They don't want to fucking throw him under the bus. | ||
| Some guys are like that. | ||
| Leo's like that. | ||
| Drake? | ||
| I don't know about Drake. | ||
| Derek Jeter? | ||
| Derek Jeter was giving out gift bags, baby. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Remember when that came out? | ||
| He was giving signed baseballs. | ||
| Think about how many guys have gotten a signed baseball from their girlfriend as a gift. | ||
| Think about what was going through their heads when they read the post that moment and there's this signed Derek Jeter baseball on their fucking mantle. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| Your girlfriend blew Derek Jeter! | ||
| No, other girls might have, but he was just nice to me. | ||
| He's a gentleman. | ||
| You gotta earn that gift back, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta earn it. | |
| What Joe's saying is very true, though. | ||
| That's why I always say, like, when I see dudes still treating women like shit in 2019, like, fucking them and kicking them out the room, and like, ah, I'm not answering the phone for her. | ||
| I'm like, you're wilding. | ||
| You should be treating her with the utmost respect and being extremely nice to her, because you just never know. | ||
| Uber. | ||
| Uber. | ||
| She's your friend. | ||
| Uber. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She should be. | ||
| Yeah, she should be your friend. | ||
| I don't understand why guys... | ||
| I say this all the time. | ||
| Why do y'all still call them women bitches? | ||
| Some of them are bitches. | ||
| We have to acknowledge that. | ||
| Some of them like it in a positive way. | ||
| Like, check this bad bitch out. | ||
| Yes, that's okay. | ||
| But some of them are just old school bitches. | ||
| But there's some bitches where it's like you're saying it in a derogatory way. | ||
| You can say it in a positive way, you're laughing about it, or you can say it in a derogatory way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes I'll say it in a derogatory way. | ||
| As a man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because I mean it. | ||
| As a man in 2019, no. | ||
| What about twat? | ||
| I've never used that ever. | ||
| What about cunt? | ||
| Nah, I've never used cunt. | ||
| He got in trouble for using the word cunt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did? | |
| You got in trouble? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You didn't get in trouble, you got outraged. | ||
| They was on your ass. | ||
| These Nicki Minaj fans. | ||
| I want to ask you this. | ||
| First of all, I think what you're doing with YouTube is genius. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| You're the first comic to really capitalize on using YouTube. | ||
| You know, Netflix didn't want to give you a special. | ||
| Like, fuck, I don't need you. | ||
| Let me do this. | ||
| It'll get more views. | ||
| And it has. | ||
| And it's been amazing. | ||
| It's been beautiful to watch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But are you experiencing, because of the popularity increase, are you experiencing some pushback on some of your material? | ||
| Because you go hard. | ||
| Bro, the weirdest thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like we've curated an expectation for it. | ||
| So the people that are going there are waiting for it. | ||
| It's not people who got free tickets from the Funny Bones website. | ||
| They know what you do. | ||
| They're there for it. | ||
| They're there to watch you talk about eating ass. | ||
| Eat an ass! | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were just talking about this on the pod the other day. | |
| We were just talking about how privileged you have to be to eat ass. | ||
| No, seriously. | ||
| Because think about all these third world countries where they can't even eat food. | ||
| But we're so full in America. | ||
| Dominican Republic, you can't have a fucking cocktail without almost dying. | ||
| You think they're eating ass? | ||
| In America, we're so full. | ||
| We got so many choices that we choose to eat ass when we want to. | ||
| For fun! | ||
| But bro, I'm telling you, they're not... | ||
| It's pretty amazing. | ||
| They're all leaning into it, and I think that people have had enough with the PC shit, so they really like to see the fact that this is out there. | ||
| I mean, we're posting, you know, I'll tell you one thing, the Joe Rogan effect. | ||
| We used to do a million views a week on my YouTube channel, and I came on here. | ||
| Two million now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Doubled. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Doubled. | |
| We'll see what happens now. | ||
| I mean, we'll see. | ||
| It was nuts, bro. | ||
| You get the Charlamagne effect in there, too. | ||
| Well, we do a podcast. | ||
| I mean, the channel exists because of the Charlamagne effect. | ||
| My channel exists because we're putting the Brilliant Idiots videos out every week on the channel. | ||
| Without him, that channel doesn't exist. | ||
| You two guys, I swear to God, have the biggest influence on the market. | ||
| He gave me this opportunity to have all these people view, and I was able to put the stuff out, and luckily they liked it. | ||
| But the same thing happened here. | ||
| We just doubled up again. | ||
| It's crazy that it's all dependent upon generosity and being a fan. | ||
| Because that's what I do. | ||
| I mean, when I'm talking to a scientist or talking to you, I'm a fan. | ||
| I'm interested. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| And it's not like you're putting on some fuck shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, Andrew's funny. | ||
| He's been funny for years. | ||
| So now everybody else is actually realizing what we all knew already. | ||
| Yeah, and the limitations of those platforms putting you on, like Netflix or HBO or something like that, that doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| And it's not you! | ||
| You're not playing your whole game. | ||
| You go get in those systems and they teach you how to just shoot three-pointers. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Instead of fucking cultivating your whole game. | ||
| That's why, you know, Brilliant Idiots, I love Brilliant Idiots. | ||
| I try not to promote brilliant idiots. | ||
| I know this sounds crazy, right? | ||
| No, but go. | ||
| This is interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go. | |
| And the reason I do is because I love our audience. | ||
| I love that group of people who come to listen to us every week. | ||
| They know that we just out here saying some wild shit, not even on purpose, just because we're... | ||
| We're trying to get ideas out and we're just talking through things. | ||
| It's when you bring those outsiders in who hear you, don't know any context or nothing, take that little piece out of context, give it to the rest of the world. | ||
| Now the rest of the world is outraged. | ||
| We didn't ask y'all to come over here any fucking ways. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We want to be wild. | ||
| We want a place for that. | ||
| Let's talk about that because where do you think that's going? | ||
| Is outrage culture reached full outrage? | ||
| It's coming back. | ||
| We turned it around. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You know what's made me think about that? | ||
| Two situations in the past two weeks. | ||
| I can't remember the first one, but the Whoopi Goldberg one from yesterday with Bella Thorne. | ||
| I didn't hear it. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Bella Thorne, she took some nude pictures. | ||
| Somebody was going to expose them, so she just shared them herself first. | ||
| I think somebody hacked her. | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| Somebody hacked her cloud. | ||
| Somebody hacked her cloud. | ||
| They're trying to say, hey, we're going to put this out unless you give us money or some shit. | ||
| She's like, fuck it, I'm going to put my own shit on Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, so Whoopi Goldberg gets on the view. | ||
| Great set of juggernauts. | ||
| I didn't even see it. | ||
| Lovely. | ||
| Whoopi gets on the view and Whoopi goes, look, it's 2019. When you take pictures, they go up to the cloud. | ||
| Hackers can hack you. | ||
| So don't take pictures. | ||
| She was like, it's just common sense. | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| Just don't take the pictures. | ||
| Everybody was like, oh, you're victim shaming. | ||
| But I thought that was what the outrage was going to be. | ||
| It wasn't. | ||
| They were like, oh, shit, Whoopi, you're talking super common sense. | ||
| Now, Bella came out and said she was being victim shamed. | ||
| But the general public on social media was like, so y'all are mad at Whoopi for talking common sense? | ||
| And I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| You can't say it's victim shaming if she's correct. | ||
| Because we are moving into an era where all information is going to be available to everybody. | ||
| I think that's going to be a thing that we're going to have to overcome, that privacy is going out the window. | ||
| It's not going to exist anymore. | ||
| Our expectations of privacy are so much different than people that lived in our parents' age. | ||
| Well, our kids, it's going to be even less, and then their kids, non-existent. | ||
| Joe, they didn't even know FDR was crippled. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| FDR was crippled? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| They didn't know. | ||
| He would literally hold himself up at the podium. | ||
| I think he got polio or some shit as a kid. | ||
| So he was paraplegic. | ||
| But the press respected his role as president. | ||
| And they respected his privacy. | ||
| I mean, he had side bitches. | ||
| He had all this shit going on. | ||
| And he would just stand up at the podium, holding himself up whenever he was talking. | ||
| Everything else besides that, they kind of roll him around. | ||
| But the people didn't know because there wasn't this access. | ||
| I want us to get back to lying to each other. | ||
| Oh, talk to me. | ||
| Because think about it. | ||
| It used to be a time where you didn't know what somebody's religion was. | ||
| You didn't know what somebody's political views were. | ||
| Nobody knew. | ||
| You just went, you presented, and you went the fuck home. | ||
| I think we need to get back to that. | ||
| I think it's too much motherfucking so-called truth out there. | ||
| Get back in the closet. | ||
| Not just with your gay shit, just whatever. | ||
| Just get back to bullshitting each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Everybody should just get back to bullshitting each other. | ||
| Because guess what? | ||
| Remember how they used to say, you don't want the truth because you can't handle the truth? | ||
| That this era, the world cannot handle truth. | ||
| That's why they want to tell us about UFOs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What do you think is happening with UFOs? | ||
| They won't tell us that UFOs exist. | ||
| Because if they told us that UFOs exist, motherfuckers would probably go crazy. | ||
| When the reality is we really probably need to know UFOs exist because it would humble the fuck out of everyone. | ||
| Well, that's the only time we get along. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like in every movie, right? | ||
| The only time Russia and China and America get on a conference call is when... | ||
| The aliens are coming. | ||
| Fuck the movies. | ||
| Ronald Reagan said that in a speech in the 80s. | ||
| Ronald Reagan told Mikhail Gorbachev, why the fuck are we beefing? | ||
| Because one day we might have an extraterrestrial threat and then we got to come together. | ||
| And everybody was like, what the fuck is Ronald Reagan talking about? | ||
| How quickly we would put aside our differences. | ||
| We were faced with a threat from an alien world. | ||
| And everybody was like, what does he know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to find out tonight. | |
| So we gonna find out tonight! | ||
| By the way, I would respect your prejudice if aliens came and you still held on to whatever the fuck you held on to. | ||
| If you still hated black people? | ||
| If you were still racist, if you were still homophobic, if you were still transphobic after the aliens came, I'd be like, shit. | ||
| No, this is bigger than the alien life. | ||
| That's not a girl. | ||
| That's a fucking dude in a dress. | ||
| Word up. | ||
| Men can't get pregnant! | ||
| Hold on, ET. Men can't get pregnant! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I would respect the fuck out of that. | ||
| I'd be like, okay, alright. | ||
| That's how you know it's true. | ||
| That's how you know it's real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what's up. | |
| Bro, as long as it's real, I really don't have no choice but to respect it. | ||
| But I think you're right. | ||
| Joe, I think you're right. | ||
| I think we're getting to the end of outrage culture. | ||
| I think it's almost over. | ||
| We put out a clip this last week of there was this kid in the front row in a wheelchair heckling me. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Son. | ||
| That was hilarious. | ||
| And we went back and forth. | ||
| And initially I put it out like, oh fuck, what's going to happen? | ||
| Am I going to have these people rolling up to my shows and fucking posters and stuff? | ||
| No, you handled it really well. | ||
| He was also a special kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had something. | ||
| You know how people have it? | ||
| You're around people and they just have a fucking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know who has it? | ||
| Ari. | ||
| Ari. | ||
| Ari Shaffir. | ||
| He has this fucking, I don't know, there's something that I just, when I'm around him, I just like him. | ||
| I just kind of want him to tell me his opinions on shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just ask him, how do you feel about, yeah, but he's like, how do you feel about carpets? | |
| And he'll just fucking tell you. | ||
| He'll be like, I'm done with him, whatever. | ||
| So it's like, he just had this thing, and he had such positive energy, and I'm making fun of a guy for fucking being in a wheelchair, and he's making fun of me for having a shitty upper body, and like, literally, I go to him, I was like, I said, you know, your upper body's pretty good, and he goes, what's your excuse? | ||
| Like, quick! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quick! | |
| And we have this moment and no backlash. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was cool. | |
| No backlash should matter except for the guy in the wheelchair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If everybody else is like, oh, why the fuck are you picking on him? | ||
| If the guy in the wheelchair don't care and the guy in the wheelchair is going back and forth, why the fuck are you jumping in this? | ||
| It's never people that have it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never. | |
| It's always parents of people that have things. | ||
| Like when there was this person had a seizure in one of my videos. | ||
| Everybody who had seizures was cool with it. | ||
| It was always a parent of a kid who had a seizure who was like, my son suffers from, how dare you? | ||
| Put a clip up like that. | ||
| So it's always offense on behalf of. | ||
| Because I really think that people who suffer for things, they went through way harder things than a joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they actually like that they're being spoken to as a regular person in the audience, not babied like every other part of their life. | ||
| Can I get the door for you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like, all right, for the first time, I'm in it. | ||
| I don't post, I won't post or like make jokes or talk shit about something that I wouldn't want to happen to me or somebody I love though. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's gotta be stuff I can handle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like HIV, AIDS, I don't want it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| You got that shit? | ||
| You can handle it? | ||
| I wouldn't trip, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| If I got it, I wouldn't trip too hard. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not what we used to think it was, so it's a different thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know what bug catchers are? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What's a bug catcher? | ||
| People who go around fucking people who have those diseases. | ||
| They try to get it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a bunch of guys in the gay community that were trying to get HIV. You never heard of that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're bug catchers. | |
| That shit makes my skin crawl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Self-loathing people that wanted to get HIV. And this was back in the day where it was a death sentence. | ||
| There was a lot of guys that were doing that. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Their goal? | ||
| Their goal. | ||
| Yeah, they would put out ads like Craigslist looking for HIV positive guys to give me the bug. | ||
| This is why cults happen because people need to be part of something. | ||
| It's like in them. | ||
| Some people are just broken. | ||
| Exactly, because I heard about that 20 years ago, and I thought that was crazy, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, what was their life like? | ||
| I need to know what their life was like. | ||
| If they had something to lose, if they was actually successful, would they be doing that? | ||
| I need to know what kind of people were out there trying to catch this bug. | ||
| There's every step in the spectrum of crazy. | ||
| You think about it, and there's a whole fucking category of people that are doing that. | ||
| So bug catching was one of them. | ||
| It was a big thing where guys were actively going out and trying and guys who had HIV were trying to go give it to people. | ||
| That's why the thing with karma, I don't even necessarily believe in karma anymore because every day of our life, we're trying to avoid crazy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you can't. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| When a guy comes in with a gun and he shoots up a motherfucking school, what are we supposed to do? | ||
| We didn't do anything to cause that, but he's got something going on with his life that caused him to snap and it affected us. | ||
| If you're walking down the street and a guy's just angry about something, he bumps into you and you're like, oh, excuse me. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck do you mean excuse me? | ||
| And he's ready to fight. | ||
| That don't got nothing to do with you. | ||
| That's got everything to do with him. | ||
| So you really can't avoid this crazy. | ||
| I had a conversation with someone and they were talking about everything in your life you've manifested and created. | ||
| I go, okay, explain babies who get shot and drive by. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| There's random things that happen. | ||
| Kids get leukemia. | ||
| What, would they do something bad? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Shit's bigger than you. | ||
| That's the thing that people hate to hear. | ||
| We are a very small part of this big fucking ecosystem. | ||
| We really think that everything in our life is that important that it could affect the world. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Sometimes... | ||
| There's too many random factors. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because, you know, you think about the secret, like the law of attraction. | ||
| Your thoughts become things. | ||
| I think the thing that we forget about that is not only do our... | ||
| It's not just our thoughts. | ||
| It's our actions. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's not like you're just sitting around. | ||
| You didn't sit around and think about doing this. | ||
| You're actually putting some fucking work. | ||
| That's the difference between the secret and reality, is that people think that you think things into existence, but no. | ||
| When you're successful, people say, what did you do? | ||
| Well, I thought this into existence. | ||
| Show me how you did that. | ||
| Well, I got up every morning at 6 a.m., and I fucking hustled to the gym, and then I wrote jokes all day. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Okay, listen, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did this. | |
| You put in the work. | ||
| You put in the work. | ||
| It's like literally if somebody says to you, hey, one day you're going to win the lottery. | ||
| So you just sit at home all day waiting to win the lottery. | ||
| Get up and go to the fucking store and buy a Powerball ticket. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think Chappelle had that joke. | ||
| He's like, you don't think they're starving kids in Africa thinking about food? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They ain't thinking about a nice roast beef sandwich. | ||
| It ain't coming. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Now don't get me wrong, there's plenty of things that I've thought about that I've manifested, but like you said, I took the steps to go put in the work. | ||
| You focused. | ||
| There's a process. | ||
| Discipline. | ||
| I got this theory called putting the weed in the bag, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| And it came from the movie Belly because Nas and DMX were sitting at this table with these two young kids and they were bagging up the weed and all the kids were like, I want to go out there and get money with y'all. | ||
| I want to go out there and get money. | ||
| And DMX was like, put the weed in the bag first, then go out there and get money. | ||
| You have to go through the process. | ||
| So it can start with a thought, but you still got to execute. | ||
| Put some fucking work in! | ||
| I remember I was talking to this girl. | ||
| She was a friend of a friend of mine, and she was telling me how I found the secret, and my life is going to be amazing now, and I'm going to get married, and I'm going to meet the right man, and everybody's like, okay. | ||
| And then I ran into her like a year later. | ||
| She came to one of my comedy shows, and I'm like, how's everything going? | ||
| She's like, I don't get it. | ||
| I've been using the secret, but my life is a mess. | ||
| My father's in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My fucking Everything was chaos. | |
| She was a sweetheart of a person, but she really believed that her life was going to transform. | ||
| I'll never forget the juxtaposition of those two conversations. | ||
| That's why the positions that were in media, you have to be very responsible with these positions. | ||
| Malcolm X said that. | ||
| Malcolm X said, the person who controls the media controls the minds of the masses. | ||
| So you have to be very, very responsible. | ||
| I remember when you used to get a lot of flack for putting on just different voices that people didn't agree with. | ||
| Yeah, still do. | ||
| And they'd be like, why are you giving these people a platform? | ||
| I'm like, yo, everybody deserves to be heard. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Not everybody, but I want to know how people think, too. | ||
| Even if I don't agree with them. | ||
| Especially people you don't agree with. | ||
| A conversation isn't a cosign. | ||
| And I think that's what we often mistake. | ||
| Well, in this day and age, too, especially on the left, so many people are talking about deplatforming. | ||
| They want to de-platform people. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like it either. | |
| I saw people getting mad at LeVar Ball this week. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Because of the comments he made to Molly on ESPN, which I didn't... | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| She was like, hey, let's shift gears. | ||
| And he's like, you can shift gears with me anytime. | ||
| But he didn't, he said it just like that. | ||
| You can shift gears to me anytime. | ||
| He didn't say, he didn't whisper, you can shift gears to me anytime. | ||
| It was a placeholder. | ||
| If she had said, hey, let's switch it up, he would say, hey, you can switch it up with me anytime. | ||
| That's all it was. | ||
| But every, people was like, oh, they need to stop putting them on ESPN. I'm like, wait a minute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Calm down. | |
| Literally just last year, y'all were saying he was the drunk uncle at the picnic and you love him or you hate him. | ||
| He's good entertainment. | ||
| But now because he said that, you want to take him off? | ||
| And I'm like, we got to stop doing that. | ||
| Because guess what? | ||
| Every single one of us is going to say something that is going to offend somebody at some point in time. | ||
| That doesn't mean that we shouldn't have a platform. | ||
| I'm not calling for nobody to get killed. | ||
| It also makes things fun when people say stupid shit sometimes. | ||
| You know, when Stephen Smith was going off about Andrew Ruiz winning the title and about how it looked like Butterbean, this is a disgrace. | ||
| I'm like, the guy is speaking the way he would speak if you were around him. | ||
| You gotta appreciate that. | ||
| Unless you want everybody to be Ryan Seacrest, you should fucking appreciate, not that there's anything wrong with Ryan Seacrest, but you should appreciate someone who's just giving you what they really think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we do. | ||
| That's why he's so popular. | ||
| We pretend to hate it, but the reality is we're going to keep listening. | ||
| There's outrage, but there's also attention. | ||
| A lot of people are like, oh, alright. | ||
| America feeds off of that shit. | ||
| That's why Donald Trump is president. | ||
| That's why the Kardashians are still viable. | ||
| That's why the Kardashians are the first family of fucking America. | ||
| There's drama every year. | ||
| Every year they find a new piece of drama. | ||
| Once shit gets calm and cool, the show ends. | ||
| So they need a new piece of drama. | ||
| Oh, you got cheated on this year? | ||
| Who's gonna have a baby? | ||
| You gonna be the baby? | ||
| But whatever it is, every year... | ||
| Hey, you gonna chop your dick off? | ||
| Every year. | ||
| But you know what I respect her for with Kim? | ||
| She's getting people out of jail. | ||
| She's going for it, bro. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| I can go back before that. | ||
| I respect the Kardashians because if we really, really pay attention to the Kardashians over the past 10 years... | ||
| First of all, you gotta put them up there with some of the greatest dynasties of all time. | ||
| I'm talking about this is Lakers, this is Patriots, this is fucking... | ||
| They've made billions. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Billions with a B. So many social conversations have started because of the Kardashians. | ||
| You're talking about interracial relationships. | ||
| You're talking about the transgender thing. | ||
| You're talking about drug use, mental health with Kanye. | ||
| You have plastic surgery. | ||
| They did change the shape of American women. | ||
| They changed asses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Globally. | |
| They changed asses. | ||
| They made that whole fat relocation thing popular. | ||
| They suck it out of your waist, turn your waist into this little thing, and turn your ass into this ridiculous platform. | ||
| Well, let's be real. | ||
| Kim learned that from black women, though. | ||
| People forget kimchi. | ||
| But that's a bio... | ||
| When you would look at someone who really has it, it's different. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You would see a woman who has a big ass naturally. | ||
| It looks like it belongs on her. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| They have thick legs. | ||
| They're fucking genetically superior. | ||
| They're built like a turkey. | ||
| They're built sexy. | ||
| Yeah, Kim's inspiration, people don't remember, Kim came up in the black circuit. | ||
| She did King Magazine and Smooth Magazine. | ||
| That's right, that's right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like she was on Wendy Williams' radio show earlier. | ||
| That's what I met her. | ||
| I met her when I was doing radio with Wendy. | ||
| He knew her before she was ever on anything. | ||
| When she was, who's assistant? | ||
| Someone's assistant, right? | ||
| She was Paris Hilton. | ||
| No, she used to organize closets for Paris Hilton. | ||
| I got an old picture of me and Kim from 2006. Yeah, she looks so different. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But, I will say, she always had that vision. | ||
| She used to always say, I'm going to do what Paris is doing times a hundred. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She did it. | ||
| She motherfucking did it. | ||
| The secret. | ||
| She used the secret. | ||
| The secret is black dick. | ||
| That's the secret. | ||
| Smoke a black cock. | ||
| It's amazing that that kicked her off because it used to be the kiss of death of a girl who did porn. | ||
| That was the end. | ||
| Lisa Ann. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was the one to break that down. | ||
| Well, was it her or Jenna Jameson? | ||
| I think Jenna Jameson was the first one to become actually popular outside of porn. | ||
| Oh, I thought you meant the first person to break the racial barrier in porn on purpose. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| She was the first to break the racial, but I mean doing porn, period. | ||
| Oh, yeah, where you could be a celeb outside of porn. | ||
| You talk about radio, it's not too many people that came up off celebrity sex tapes. | ||
| It's only few and far between that really popped off. | ||
| Yeah, who made it off a sex tape? | ||
| Do you remember when girls were showing their pussy? | ||
| They were showing their pussy on purpose? | ||
| Remember when they would get out of cars? | ||
| And the camera just happened to be down where their pussy is? | ||
| How the fuck did you not know that camera was down near your pussy? | ||
| They set that up. | ||
| That was a move. | ||
| That's a lot of confidence. | ||
| They were climbing out of their cars showing their pussy. | ||
| Not a lot of witch fingers, Joe. | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| That's all the more reason you gotta respect Kim K, bro. | ||
| That girl that was hopping out of cars and you could see her vagina and was doing sex tapes is out here getting prisoners free. | ||
| She is doing that. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if she's best friends with Donald Trump. | ||
| That's my thing, right? | ||
| If you care about prison reform, you care about criminal justice reform, you should be happy that these people are getting out. | ||
| Worried about, oh, she's doing it in the White House with Donald Trump. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| You think the guy who just did 15 years for nothing cares what president let him out? | ||
| And she doesn't have to do this. | ||
| She could just be buying cars and getting her nails done. | ||
| She's choosing to spend her time to get these people that are unjustly accused and convicted and get them released. | ||
| And Trump... | ||
| Like him or not, he's listening to her and he's helping her. | ||
| But you know why? | ||
| Because he's a celebrity. | ||
| He understands the PR angle, yeah. | ||
| So you keep sending all these politicians to talk to a celebrity. | ||
| That shit goes over his head. | ||
| You've got to send another celebrity to get in his ear because he understands that type of language. | ||
| He just understands their power. | ||
| He understands where their reach is. | ||
| He knows that Kim K doing something is way more valuable than some random Democratic congressperson. | ||
| Well, you're seeing that so much now. | ||
| You look at Capitol Hill the past few weeks. | ||
| You see, you know, I was there. | ||
| Me, T.I., and David Gross was there talking about opportunities on legislation. | ||
| I was there with Taraji talking about bringing social-emotional learning in schools and therapy. | ||
| You had Ta-Nehisi Coates and Danny Glover was there this week talking about HR-40. | ||
| You had Jon Stewart there talking about the victims of 9-11 needing to be compensated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was, yeah. | |
| I didn't even know that was going on. | ||
| If Jon Stewart hadn't have done that, I would have never even known that was going on. | ||
| And that is fucked up. | ||
| And it was a simple statement. | ||
| The people you said you would never forget, you forgot. | ||
| That's not going over nobody's head. | ||
| Anybody can get that. | ||
| You can be with no teeth sitting in fucking South Carolina in a trailer park. | ||
| You understand that language. | ||
| And again, Jon Stewart doesn't have to do that. | ||
| He doesn't have to do that because he needs to. | ||
| It's in him. | ||
| It gives you a different sense of purpose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's what really means something. | ||
| When you talk to me about talking about anxiety and mental health, like, the past couple years, I feel like I've been walking in my purpose. | ||
| You know, because I truly feel like if we can get more people to deal with their mental health issues, you'll reduce so much of the other bullshit we complaining about in America. | ||
| The violence, the gun shootings, because when you got a bunch of people who have never dealt with their trauma, never dealt with their pain and their hurt, Hurt people, hurt people. | ||
| And all we do is go around redistributing that pain to others. | ||
| You think murderers and rapists do that shit because it's for the thrill of it? | ||
| No, they are broken, damaged people. | ||
| So they go and break and damage other people. | ||
| So if you can get people to deal with their mental health issues, man, that's the foundation of it all to me. | ||
| That's the real secret. | ||
| Getting to the root of that shit. | ||
| Yeah, there is a thing about purpose that like, what happens I think when some people reach financial independence, and I mean like fuck you money, meaning like you don't have to work anymore, your family, everything is good. | ||
| You have, some people go, well I'm going to get even more money and I'm going to become a billionaire and a trillionaire or whatever. | ||
| And then some people go, I'm going to live life instead of survive it. | ||
| If you're working every week so you can get a paycheck, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that because the majority of people, but you are surviving. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That job is no different than being out there in the forest trying to find some food so you can eat and get some shelter. | ||
| You get financial dependence. | ||
| You have the opportunity to truly do whatever you want every single day of your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And some people go, you know what I want to do? | ||
| I want to go to fucking D.C. and help out with these causes. | ||
| Or I want to put on a whole comedy community. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And you really put it on your back. | ||
| I want to help other people out. | ||
| I want to have these conversations and just talk shit about fucking magic, having HIV, whatever it is. | ||
| We're actually choosing to do the things that we enjoy. | ||
| Because you realize what's important. | ||
| Like even when you're talking about something like opportunities on legislation, I feel like that goes hand in hand with mental health because environment is so important. | ||
| So if you can, you know, get into these communities, these poor and disenfranchised areas, and you can start putting things in these communities that people actually need, like in the hood. | ||
| You replace the liquor stores and the fucking chicken spots and the check cashing places with juice bars and mental health spas and wellness centers, things that people actually need. | ||
| Now you're creating an environment where people can thrive in instead of just trying to fucking survive in. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You can't properly deal with your mental health if you're trying to survive every fucking day. | ||
| Well, I think what you're doing that's very important is you're bringing up that conversation. | ||
| That conversation wasn't taking place before. | ||
| The mental health conversation about anxiety amongst cool, successful people, it just wasn't happening. | ||
| Everybody was pretending. | ||
| Everybody was, they're hiding from it. | ||
| You keep it secret. | ||
| Like, you got the float tank in your fucking compound. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you telling people about that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I'm one of the reasons why that thing became popular again. | ||
| I got one in 2002. Wow! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just did it for the first time like three weeks ago. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| If you go to some float places, they'll ask you how you found out about it. | ||
| It's like, did you find out from the internet, Yelp? | ||
| And then they'll say Joe Rogan. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because I talk about it so much as videos. | ||
| I mean, I gave one away. | ||
| I had bought a new one, and I said, I'm going to give one away. | ||
| And I just got random emails, and I picked one of them. | ||
| Had it sent to this guy's house. | ||
| Had it set up. | ||
| Just because I wanted people to know about what these things are. | ||
| I've never felt stillness like I've felt inside a float table. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| And it's like, you know, at first, you're like, okay, they want you to get butt naked. | ||
| You don't know if they're recording you. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And then they're like, nah, it's completely dark. | ||
| You've got a lot of confidence in your cock, bro. | ||
| I wasn't even swinging that day. | ||
| I'm a girl and not a show. | ||
| My shit is like... | ||
| I wasn't swinging that day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I wasn't. | |
| I actually was trying to make it a little chubby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a Thursday, bro. | |
| I can't be swinging. | ||
| I actually was trying to make it a little chubby just in case. | ||
| You can't trust these people. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Motherfucker might be recording me in this shit. | ||
| So the lights went off and it's like when you first get in, It's allowing yourself to relax. | ||
| Because at first you're fighting it a little bit. | ||
| You got your head up. | ||
| You're like, I don't know if I'm going to drown. | ||
| But when you finally just relax, you don't even know where the fucking hour went. | ||
| And I've never experienced a level of stillness like that. | ||
| It was periods where I thought I was actually... | ||
| I'm like, am I alive right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because your eyes are open. | ||
| But it's totally dark. | ||
| It's totally dark. | ||
| So you don't know if you're really asleep. | ||
| And you don't feel the water. | ||
| You don't feel the water. | ||
| You don't know if you're in and out of consciousness. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Everybody should do flow therapy. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| Guys, what is the hardest part about having influence? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a nice pregnant pause. | |
| That was dope, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then the clock was going like you just... | ||
| You heard that clock! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You heard that shit! | |
| That was awesome! | ||
| That was me switching the cameras. | ||
| Oh, the camera's switching. | ||
| Well-timed. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| What's the hardest? | ||
| I don't think about it that way. | ||
| I think you're very... | ||
| There's very few people that have the opportunity to have the kind of influence that you or I have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or you. | ||
| It's very, very strange. | ||
| I think... | ||
| You've got to realize what harm you can do. | ||
| You've got to be careful in the kind of things you say, the kind of things you promote, the kind of things that you sign off on or agree to. | ||
| And I think there's also a responsibility to tell people about cool shit, tell people about things that have benefited you, to help people about how you've overcome your own personal mistakes. | ||
| I think all those things are very important. | ||
| Yeah, I never even thought about having influence until like the past three, four years. | ||
| Because, you know, I'm just out here doing my thing. | ||
| Just doing it, yeah. | ||
| But then when you realize you are having influence, and a lot of that influence could be negative, that's when you realize like... | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Let me make sure I'm doing the right things with these platforms. | ||
| Let me make sure I'm bringing on the right voices that people can learn from. | ||
| Let me make sure I'm telling people about the things in my life that are making me a better person. | ||
| So for me, it's like the best compliment I get nowadays when people say, man, you've really grown. | ||
| You've really evolved. | ||
| It's visible. | ||
| People can see it. | ||
| That right there lets me know I'm putting out the right energy into the ecosystem. | ||
| Yeah, and also people become inspired to seek that same kind of path. | ||
| When someone in the public eye like yourself and they see you grow and expand and change your views on things, it also inspires other people to open up themselves and change their own perspective and enhance their own way of looking at the world. | ||
| Yeah, I can admit when I'm wrong. | ||
| I've said a lot of fucked up wild shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're going live on the air. | ||
| You're not reading a script. | ||
| You're freeballing. | ||
| It's gonna happen. | ||
| And I think the worst thing that can happen too is like for me, Breakfast Club has only been going on for nine years. | ||
| So I never had experienced this level of attention. | ||
| And you start reading things about yourself in the media. | ||
| Like you read real articles. | ||
| You're like, oh, the hip-hop Howard Stern. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| Oh, so I gotta be like Howard? | ||
| So I gotta give him more of that shit? | ||
| So, what Howard though? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I'm giving him a little bit of 90s Howard. | ||
| That's what I'm fucked with. | ||
| What Howard do y'all fuck with? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So it's just like, you can get caught up in that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You could get caught up in what people's expectations of you are. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You change who you are. | ||
| You know, a lot of people say that happens to certain comedians. | ||
| They become their character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dice. | |
| Dice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was gonna bring that up. | ||
| His name's Andrew Silverstein. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The Dice Man was a character that he would do in his bit. | ||
| He would do a routine where he would be John Travolta. | ||
| He would do a Sylvester Stallone. | ||
| And then he would do this character called the Dice Man. | ||
| And that part was so funny and so good, it took over his whole act. | ||
| I went toe-to-toe with Dice one time. | ||
| Toe to toe? | ||
| Yeah, on Wendy Williams' show back in the day when I was Wendy's sidekick. | ||
| And, you know, VH1, Wendy had a show on VH1 and Andrew Dice Clay had a show on VH1, so they brought him on to promote it. | ||
| And, like, we just ended up going. | ||
| I don't know why the fuck we ended up going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snapping on each other? | |
| Yes. | ||
| And, like, VH1 edited it to make it look like he, like, kind of fucked me up, but they kept a couple of mine in. | ||
| He was really upset. | ||
| Like, I called him. | ||
| I said, you're like a fat Fonzie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he fucking lost it. | ||
| He was like, who the fuck are you? | ||
| You fucking carry one of these bads for a fucking living. | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit. | ||
| It's on, I got you. | ||
| It's on. | ||
| I was like, you're supposed to be able to laugh at that. | ||
| I thought it was funny. | ||
| I wouldn't be able to laugh at that. | ||
| If I looked like a fat Fonzie, I'd be like, oh shit. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| You'd have to go, damn. | ||
| I was on his ass. | ||
| I told him he was like a discontinued Terminator model. | ||
| Remember the Terminator? | ||
| That shit was interesting. | ||
| But what you said is real, because I never want to become a caricature of myself. | ||
| And I feel like it was a certain point in my life where I was becoming a caricature of myself. | ||
| And it's like, that's not real. | ||
| You can't claim to be a real person. | ||
| And be out here pretending to be real. | ||
| You're either real or you're not. | ||
| And what's real is, yo, being honest about going to a therapist. | ||
| What's real is being honest about your mental health issues. | ||
| What's real is talking about being a father. | ||
| Real shit. | ||
| You can't always try to be cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not cool. | ||
| That's fake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fake. | |
| And that only existed when there was like some sort of a... | ||
| You're projecting something. | ||
| You're putting something out there in these small bits. | ||
| When you're doing what you do and you're talking for hours and hours on... | ||
| You've got to be you. | ||
| You've got to be you. | ||
| At the end of the day, it's going to come out whether you like it or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's nothing else. | |
| There's no other options. | ||
| And the people with the longest careers, I feel like, are the people who evolve over time. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could see the guys... | ||
| Who have real growth. | ||
| Like Howard Stern, in the beginning, when we really think about Howard, like, chicks were queefing on speakers. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was a normal thing in a Howard Stern radio show, is come in, who has the loudest queef on the speaker? | ||
| They're lucky that Tiffany Haddish wasn't around back then. | ||
| Because it wouldn't be over. | ||
| She sticks that microphone in her pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She queefs? | |
| She makes a cannon sound. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense. | ||
| What? | ||
| She's like launching midgets into the fucking atmosphere. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, she used to do that all the time. | ||
| She would queef on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| She's shameless. | ||
| Is that the equivalent of a guy? | ||
| That lady doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Is that the equivalent of a guy stool fucker? | ||
| Like on comedy? | ||
| No, well, there's not a lot of women that can do that. | ||
| Char has kind of an elitist approach to comedy. | ||
| It's quite interesting. | ||
| He likes bars, he says. | ||
| He likes jokes. | ||
| He doesn't like stool-fucking. | ||
| Stool-fucking, if it's the right bit, can be funny. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It has to be a real comic with a real reason to fuck that stool. | ||
| There has to be something to it. | ||
| I'm trying to think if Eddie fucked that stool. | ||
| I don't remember Eddie fucking no stool, bro. | ||
| See, I like Eddie. | ||
| I like Richard. | ||
| I like Chris Rock. | ||
| Bless you. | ||
| I like Chappelle. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I like those guys that actually get on stage and say something. | ||
| Like, have something to say. | ||
| Louis C.K. has something to say. | ||
| I like people that have something to say. | ||
| All that stool fucking is like, man. | ||
| I want to get him on stage. | ||
| I think he could do it. | ||
| Oh, you could definitely do it. | ||
| I would never disrespect a craft like that. | ||
| Well, you wouldn't have to disrespect it. | ||
| You would just have to want to do it and then try it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to do it. | ||
| I think we do it for fun. | ||
| If you don't want to do it, don't do it, but you could do it. | ||
| I tried one weekend and my first joke was like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to sit down because I don't want anybody to ever say Charlemagne's up here trying to do stand-up. | ||
| Maybe don't try it, okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe don't try it. | |
| Listen, it's not for everybody, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| Hey, my bad, Joe. | ||
| Hey, Joe. | ||
| Hey, all the listeners, my bad. | ||
| Maybe I don't have an eye for talent. | ||
| We just did three hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's how we do it, bro. | ||
| Let's bring it home. | ||
| Hey, Andrew, thank you for setting this up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, man. | |
| And Brendan, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brendan Schaub. | |
| Shout out to Brendan Schaub, man. | ||
| Schaub, too, man. | ||
| Shout out to Brendan Schaub. | ||
| I really do appreciate what you do for comics, though. | ||
| Because I've seen what you do for Andrew and Jesse May Peluso and Miss Pat, Don O'Reilly. | ||
| These people I really fuck with. | ||
| So thank you for that, man. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| For me, I'm honored that I have the platform to be able to help. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Peace. | |
| Peace. | ||
| Dude, so much fun. |
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