April 30, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:46
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Believe in wireless. | ||
| He needs to see it. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And we're live. | ||
| What's up, Rich? | ||
| How are you, man? | ||
| What's poppin', baby? | ||
| What's going on, man? | ||
| Thanks for doing this. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| Dude, thank you for having me on this show, man. | ||
| Well, I read about you, a fellow Boston native, and I read about your Tesla journey, and I was like, this is a fucking interesting story. | ||
| This guy buys a broken Tesla, and then you couldn't get parts for it anywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| So what had happened to the car? | ||
| Had it been in an accident? | ||
| No, so I met the previous owner and he actually, I think it was during Hurricane Sandy. | ||
| He thought that, he goes, wait a minute, that water level seems low enough for me to drive through it. | ||
| And he just started driving through the water. | ||
| I think it got up to like the, almost like the B pillar. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Up to like where his neck is, yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, I know, right? | ||
| So he thought he could fight the water. | ||
| He lost, obviously. | ||
| And it was just underwater. | ||
| And I'm like, you know what, I got to try this thing. | ||
| And so what would Tesla do in that situation? | ||
| If he wanted to bring it back to them, they would have to rebuild the entire car? | ||
| They wouldn't even do it because at that point, once anything liquid, you know, any kind of like water intrusion happens in an EV, they just write the whole car off. | ||
| Insurance companies just like, we're not going to deal with this. | ||
| Too risky. | ||
| Too risky. | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| Were you aware of the Fisker dilemma at Hurricane Sandy when they had the Fiskers that were parked at some sort of a dock where they brought them off the ship? | ||
| They all exploded. | ||
| Yeah, they all burned. | ||
| The water level rose and the water got into them and they just went off like fucking fireworks. | ||
| And they lost a whole bunch of them. | ||
| Look, there's a video of it. | ||
| You can watch the video of them fucking blowing up. | ||
| So as the water level rose, you can see the water breaching. | ||
| Well, the water gets to the cars, and when it gets to the cars, they just start going off like fucking fireworks. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I know that feeling. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it goes. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that shit! | |
| Dude! | ||
| Oh, it's like a supernova. | ||
| I mean, those are big-ass fucking batteries just blowing the fuck up. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| That turns night into day. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| How many? | ||
| They lost like 40 cars up there? | ||
| They lost a fuckload. | ||
| And the company essentially went, they went radioed silent for like a year. | ||
| That's a big L to take. | ||
| Yeah, they took a hit. | ||
| Once people realized their car could just explode. | ||
| Yeah, that's not good. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I didn't look at the name of the video. | ||
| It popped up when I typed in the Fisker explosion, but this was the explosion of the Con Ed plant. | ||
| Oh, that's a big difference. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, what the fuck is in those cars? | |
| But there is a video of the actual Fiskers exploding, isn't there? | ||
| I think there's definitely pictures. | ||
| I have a feeling the second video won't be as exciting now. | ||
| Yeah, let's leave it off. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| More misinformation. | ||
| Just set us back an hour. | ||
| Yeah, so that's the cars. | ||
| That's what was left of them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they all fucking blew up. | ||
| It's a beautiful car, though. | ||
| Fisker did a great job of making a car that looks really good. | ||
| Right, but you know what's funny? | ||
| I... I think the back end's kind of ugly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| I think the front looks like a fish. | ||
| The back's kind of ugly. | ||
| And then actually, have you ever driven one? | ||
| No. | ||
| Ever been in one? | ||
| No. | ||
| When you drive one, you'll be like, ah, I get why this didn't work out. | ||
| Well, Justin Bieber had an all-chrome one. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Does he still have it, though? | ||
| Does he still have it? | ||
| He probably doesn't even know. | ||
| Yeah, he probably doesn't know at this point. | ||
| You know, the amount of money that dude must have? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He probably has no idea if he has that car. | ||
| No kidding. | ||
| He's got it tucked away somewhere. | ||
| But what do they drive like? | ||
| They're just not really great cars. | ||
| It's not really a driver's car. | ||
| It's a 2 plus 2. The center console is super wide. | ||
| It's a super awkward car to drive. | ||
| And it's not really good at really anything. | ||
| You know, styling-wise, I'm like, oh, there we go. | ||
| So you think that back end looks ugly? | ||
| I don't think I like it that much, no. | ||
| But you know what's funny? | ||
| The chrome doesn't look that bad. | ||
| Some guy got arrested in Germany. | ||
| They pulled him over and it compounded his car because he had a gold shiny wrap on it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Was it too reflective or something? | ||
| I've seen that on Sunset. | ||
| There's a couple on Sunset. | ||
| Like a Lamborghini or something. | ||
| They'll let you do that in America. | ||
| But in Germany, they're like, fuck off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck off. | |
| They took that shit right off. | ||
| You know, they're like harsh, cold, stoic folk. | ||
| They don't want you doing that. | ||
| They don't want you flexing too much over there. | ||
| Yeah, not too much. | ||
| I bet they reluctantly are making cars super flashy for American markets and shit. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| You know, I wonder. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I wonder how much of an influence it has, like, if you could leave them to themselves. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What kind of cars do they make? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I feel like so much of it is, like, market-driven. | ||
| But they, when it comes to, like, engineering and handling, like, goddamn German cars have it nailed. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| They've got it nailed. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| The Americans are, they were trying to sneak up and get close for a while. | ||
| But, I mean, like, the Germans are just the standard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The only weird place where the Americans fuck with it is like, have you ever driven a Camaro Z01? I have, yeah. | ||
| That's a preposterous car. | ||
| It's an awesome car. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I have a Corvette Z06. Ooh, which year? | ||
| It's a 06, which is the LS7, 7 liter. | ||
| And it's an insane car. | ||
| By today's standards, it only has like 505 horsepower. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| That's not a lot. | ||
| It's a mean car. | ||
| The car will put you on your ass really quick, man. | ||
| Turn you to a man. | ||
| Our friend Taylor out there was telling us that they put a Tesla in ludicrous mode on a dyno. | ||
| And it had some insane number of torque. | ||
| It was like 900 pound foot of torque. | ||
| And somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 horsepower. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And the dyno could barely even read it. | ||
| A lot of dinos don't even go that high in a lot of cases. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're insane cars, man. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| The Americans know how to do it now. | ||
| I think it's interesting that, you know, people don't realize this when they see a Tesla. | ||
| It's a fully American car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they don't realize that. | ||
| They're just like, oh, it's probably something like, you know, German or like Japanese car. | ||
| But the car's 100% made here. | ||
| Is this it right here, Jamie? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is this the... | ||
| Which model is this? | ||
| P100D. P100D. So that's the biggest one. | ||
| So what does it say? | ||
| It's on a Mustang dyno. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Sounds like a little good old boys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to take this Tesla up here and try to figure out how fast she goes. | |
| I think I can get it to jump. | ||
| I thought it said 56 seconds. | ||
| Yeah, no, I think it even almost jumps off the dyno at this point. | ||
| There's so much torque. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's a very, very, very powerful car. | |
| There you go. | ||
| When I try to describe it to people, especially people that have never driven an electric car, I'm like, it doesn't even seem real. | ||
| It seems like it violates physics. | ||
| So how do you like yours, by the way? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I know that Elon Musk came here and bamboozled you into buying one, pretty much. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's great, isn't it? | ||
| It makes other cars seem stupid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And I love cars. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know you're a car guy. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| I love cars that don't even drive that fast. | ||
| I love mechanical, engineered excellence. | ||
| I love when people figure things out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is what brought me to you. | ||
| I love the fact that you took this car that was fucked up and you refused to let it go. | ||
| You're like, I'm going to figure out how to fix this fucking thing. | ||
| How much did you buy it for? | ||
| It was 15 grand. | ||
| Just to be clear on something, I'm not some evil genius or brainiac. | ||
| This was driven by my cheapness. | ||
| Because I didn't want to spend the kind of money they were asking for one. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So basically, this car is like $15,000. | ||
| And the whole story started when my friend came over. | ||
| He actually had a job at Tesla. | ||
| And he's like, buddy, listen, do these crazy cars. | ||
| I know you have a Z06, but this car is faster than that. | ||
| You're going to love this thing. | ||
| I was like, that electric crap box, I don't want anything to do with that, whatever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He brought the car over. | ||
| Great looking car. | ||
| I said, all right, and I'll take it for a drive or whatever. | ||
| And the thing was amazing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Amazing car. | ||
| So I was in tech and I'm just like, listen, like, you know what? | ||
| Like, how much does this thing cost? | ||
| Like, I make decent money, whatever. | ||
| I'll just throw some money at it. | ||
| He's like, listen, this will cost you about 120. I said, you know what? | ||
| Have a nice day. | ||
| I'm not buying that shit. | ||
| And then he, so he left, and I thought to myself, like, every night I was like, you know what, I gotta get my hands on one of these cars, man. | ||
| I gotta get one, like, you know, sell a kidney, whatever, sell a testicle, whatever I can do. | ||
| And it, I was searching online, and, you know, what happens is whenever a car gets messed up, Whenever a car gets, as they say, totaled in a way and it's a total loss, an insurance company will take it and they'll kind of auction it off to like the highest bidder. | ||
| So I went to an auction site and I saw one for sale. | ||
| It was like, you know, 15 grand. | ||
| They said it didn't run or drive and it was in a flood. | ||
| And I'm just like, 15 grand? | ||
| I could do that. | ||
| It's a piece of cake, man. | ||
| I'll throw some money at it, whatever. | ||
| How hard can it be? | ||
| You stick it in a bag of rice, and then you tie it up. | ||
| It's like an iPhone. | ||
| You know when you drop your iPhone in the toilet? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just like, oh, man, it sucks. | ||
| You do it in a bag of rice, and you're good to go. | ||
| So I figured all I'd do was just buy more rice for this thing. | ||
| And I got it home, and I was like, you know what? | ||
| I got myself into some shit here because it was a lot more work than I thought it was going to be. | ||
| So you didn't – sight unseen. | ||
| You purchased it. | ||
| No, sight unseen. | ||
| And that's the way it is most times. | ||
| They don't really let you on the auction lots too often. | ||
| So they took five photos of it. | ||
| It was some from the interior, some from the side, and one under the frunk. | ||
| And I was just like, I could probably do this, right? | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| So this begins this project, which takes how long to completion? | ||
| I think it took me about maybe six or seven months or so. | ||
| Of straight work? | ||
| No, so I was working at the time, and I think only between the hours of like 7pm and like 11pm. | ||
| Like every night. | ||
| And then weekends for a few hours until I figured it out. | ||
| So goodbye social life. | ||
| Pretty much, yeah. | ||
| I was a hermit for those months. | ||
| And what I actually ended up doing was... | ||
| So I had the car, right? | ||
| So I was freaking out because my wife was just like, how much was that thing? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, she had the divorce papers ready pretty much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| Oh, there I am. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| No, this was a different one. | ||
| That one's fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, that one's really messed up now. | ||
| I couldn't save that one. | ||
| How much did you get that one for? | ||
| That one was about... | ||
| Guess. | ||
| Four grand. | ||
| That was 20 grand I paid for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yes! | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That thing's totaled. | ||
| Yeah, I know, but they're so valuable, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because you know why? | ||
| It's the battery technology and the motor technology that Tesla's using. | ||
| Everyone's just dying for that stuff, man. | ||
| So any wrecked Tesla that you find... | ||
| Minimum. | ||
| I know I'm still in the secret sauce here. | ||
| Minimum worth 15 grand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Even if it looks like that. | ||
| Dead serious. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That thing doesn't even have doors. | ||
| I took the doors off. | ||
| Oh, you took the doors off. | ||
| But the battery pack is still in there. | ||
| That's what you want. | ||
| And the motor was still in there, too. | ||
| Do people take those and put them in like old cars or anything yet? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| That's the new generation of hot rodders, man. | ||
| Because I saw something like that about a Mustang. | ||
| It was like a 65, 66 Mustang that was electric, but I didn't know what train it used. | ||
| So you know how... | ||
| You're a gearhead, you know this. | ||
| The LS swap. | ||
| They put literally an LS into everything. | ||
| Yeah, I have a Land Cruiser. | ||
| We have a Land Cruiser with one. | ||
| LS swap? | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| So that's the new LS swap, basically. | ||
| So the Tesla motor is the new LS swap. | ||
| Everyone is swapping a Tesla motor into Volkswagen Bugs, into Audis, into Porsches, into everything. | ||
| Well, I know people are doing LS swaps into 911s, and Porsche people are losing their fucking minds. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Because they're taking old, air-cooled cars, which are really notoriously difficult to get to a high horsepower rate. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Because those air-cooled cars, you can only get them around 400 plus horsepower. | ||
| And they start crumbling. | ||
| Unless you're Singer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, they've got that insanely engineered new one. | ||
| What is that called? | ||
| Lightweight? | ||
| I don't know what it's called. | ||
| Either way, it's going to cost you damn near $100,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Something dynamic, lightweight, something. | ||
| It's the most gorgeous looking of those Porsches I've ever seen, ever. | ||
| And they built that one up to 500 plus horsepower. | ||
| How much does it cost, though? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Fucking million six. | ||
| A million six. | ||
| Are you going to buy one? | ||
| That's a giant house, man. | ||
| That's a house with land. | ||
| You might have a lake. | ||
| Well, actually, that's not true. | ||
| In LA, that's not a house. | ||
| No, but LA's not the real world. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| 67 Mustang meets Tesla. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| AVR Motors all-electric muscle car. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| That's a 68. That's good-looking, too. | ||
| That's one of the best-looking rear ends of any car ever. | ||
| That's an awesome-looking car. | ||
| Fuck, that looks incredible. | ||
| 2.2, 0-60. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| There you go. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So that's new. | ||
| It's going to cost you a ton of money. | ||
| Bookmark that. | ||
| It's going to cost you a ton of money to recreate that same look. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| Look, it has a nice screen, too. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's so weird, though, to not shift a muscle car. | ||
| I think I'm out. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm backing out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm backing out. | |
| But wait, but you love your Tesla, though. | ||
| You don't shift that. | ||
| But it doesn't look like that. | ||
| I would be a super ultra poser. | ||
| The door handles come out like a Tesla's, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wait. | |
| There's a Tesla. | ||
| Oh, fuck off. | ||
| Next. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There's a company that does, it's a company called Revology that makes old, like 1966 to like 68 Mustangs, but they do it with all new parts and modern technology. | ||
| It's like a resto mod, pretty much. | ||
| It's not, though, because it's a new car. | ||
| They buy the full, that's actually a brand new car that's never existed. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So ground up built? | ||
| Ground up built. | ||
| They buy the whole... | ||
| I think it's called a unibody construction. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| There's something... | ||
| The way that these Mustangs are constructed, the bodies built into the frame. | ||
| And this company sells them... | ||
| Like, completed versions of the body kit that are perfect, with perfect tolerances. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, like, that's one, the 67 Shelby GT500. What's the price? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Stupid expensive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's not going to work. | ||
| It's like two Teslas. | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| Yeah, but they're dope. | ||
| It's dope as fuck. | ||
| If you look at, like, what it looks like, go down, see some pictures of it, Jamie. | ||
| You can get a better sense of it. | ||
| But this guy is very meticulous. | ||
| This company is very meticulous. | ||
| I've been following their stuff for quite a while. | ||
| What they do is really incredible. | ||
| That's an all-new sheet metal. | ||
| Everything's new, but it has killer brakes, and it has a modern Coyote Mustang engine in it. | ||
| So it's a 460 horsepower engine in these old, badass muscle cars. | ||
| And that one's the GT500. That one's actually supercharged. | ||
| That has a 600 horsepower engine. | ||
| Dude, it's dope. | ||
| They're fucking gorgeous. | ||
| They're gorgeous cars. | ||
| They're really pretty. | ||
| So what would you think about someone dropping an electric motor on one of these things? | ||
| See, I love it. | ||
| Look, I love people doing crazy shit, but it's not for me. | ||
| I need to shift. | ||
| If I'm driving that thing, I gotta pretend I'm Steve McQueen. | ||
| I hear you, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hear you. | |
| Here's the thing. | ||
| So what do you think about the new, you've seen the new Tesla Roadster, right? | ||
| Gorgeous. | ||
| What do you think about it? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| How is it? | ||
| Yeah, but it's theirs from the bottom up. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like, I don't mind not shifting in it. | ||
| That thing seems like it's going to literally punch a hole through space time. | ||
| I think so too, man. | ||
| I think so too. | ||
| I think they're looking at it like 0 to 60 in like 1 point something seconds. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's 1.9. | ||
| I think that's what they're saying. | ||
| It's insane, man. | ||
| That's bizarre. | ||
| I know. | ||
| When you feel it in the P100D mind, everybody that I get in the car and I stomp on the gas, they're like, what the fuck? | ||
| They can't believe it. | ||
| These are around you. | ||
| It's like vampires being around people. | ||
| People that just leap to the top of buildings and they're walking around looking regular until some shit goes down. | ||
| Yeah, no, they're absolutely amazing cars, man. | ||
| And I think that's the main reason why I was like, I gotta get one of these, man. | ||
| So what was the struggle? | ||
| Initial struggle. | ||
| You have the car, you take it apart, and what did you see? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So pretty much I was kind of taking my time because I knew there was a point where I couldn't fix the damn thing and I was just kind of wasting everyone's time. | ||
| I was like, hey, is this thing almost done? | ||
| I was like, yeah, babe, don't worry about it. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| Don't worry. | ||
| Our money's safe. | ||
| And so there's a certain point where I took everything apart and I was like, all right, I found a dead fish in the back of the car, by the way. | ||
| So actually, you know what the turning point of this whole thing was? | ||
| The turning point was I realized it was salt water and not fresh water. | ||
| So you know what salt water does to stuff, right? | ||
| It just kills everything. | ||
| So 90% of the car was kind of toast. | ||
| And I said to myself, all right, I'm going to call Tesla up, you know, buy a motor, buy a battery pack. | ||
| I'll be good. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe I'll spend like 20 grand for a battery and like maybe 10 for a motor. | ||
| I'll be like for 40. It's still cheaper than 100, right? | ||
| So I called them up and, you know, they were like, hey, you know, how's it going, man? | ||
| I was like, hey, you know what? | ||
| Crazy thing happened, right? | ||
| So I bought this Tesla's underwater, and I need a couple of things. | ||
| I need a battery. | ||
| I need a motor. | ||
| Just throw me those things. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| They're like, well, we're not going to sell it to you. | ||
| I was like, well, why not? | ||
| Because you have no capability of fixing the car yourself. | ||
| You're going to get yourself killed. | ||
| It's not going to work. | ||
| Give me your VIN number. | ||
| I gave them the VIN number. | ||
| They're like, no, that car's listed as salvaged. | ||
| That thing was underwater. | ||
| We're not going to help you. | ||
| And they just hung up the phone pretty much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is the crazy part, too, is that they know... | ||
| I'm putting my conspiracy theorist hat on. | ||
| They know where every single car is. | ||
| They know what it's doing. | ||
| They know if the airbags went off. | ||
| They know if you farted at the front seat. | ||
| They know everything about these cars. | ||
| So pretty much when you give them the VIN number, the cars are always connected back to the mothership to give you the status in the car. | ||
| So they know what's going on. | ||
| So if you try to hide from them, you just can't do it. | ||
| So I had the car and I said to myself, you know what, this isn't going to work. | ||
| I've got to figure something out. | ||
| So what I did basically, I bought another car. | ||
| For $15,000. | ||
| And I was like, I gotta swap this stuff over. | ||
| So I swapped everything over. | ||
| So the other one that you bought for $15,000, everything worked? | ||
| Well, it was on a front-end collision. | ||
| It was on a hard front-end collision. | ||
| So the frame was bent or something? | ||
| The frame was bent. | ||
| The thing was toast. | ||
| And I just took all the electronics from one to the other. | ||
| How do you check to make sure that everything isn't damaged? | ||
| That's a good thing. | ||
| A lot of the wiring harnesses were cut in the front-end collision car, but the interesting part was that in the flooded car, the wiring harnesses were still good for the most part in the front. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| So what I did was, meaning not broken or torn or having bent connectors, I just took those connectors off and actually cleaned them because I couldn't get parts from Tesla. | ||
| I took the wet wiring harnesses that were all corroded, pulled them out, got a Q-tip, toothbrush, and all that stuff. | ||
| What do you clean them with? | ||
| So I clean them with baking soda and a wire brush. | ||
| And I got a toothpick, too, to really get in there and clean the contacts and stuff. | ||
| I just rinse them out with water. | ||
| By this time, your wife's probably like, what the fuck? | ||
| She's pissed. | ||
| She goes, I noticed we're missing $30,000 from our bank account. | ||
| And you got two cars that don't work. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Two cars that don't work. | ||
| And the $30,000 missing from our bank account. | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| So... | ||
| It was just, it was painstaking, but eventually, you know, I got the job done, man. | ||
| So what I ended up doing was, so, 30 grand, right? | ||
| I told my friends, hey, listen, you know, I'm in a mess here. | ||
| I'm rebuilding a Tesla. | ||
| And they're just like, you know, you're an idiot. | ||
| You're not going to figure this out. | ||
| Like, no one's doing that. | ||
| Because this was years ago. | ||
| This is when the cars were still kind of coming onto the scene and they weren't as popular as they are now. | ||
| And they're like, you can't fix that. | ||
| Like, you're an idiot. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| I've seen your work. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Yeah, so after a while, I took all the parts from one to the other, got one running, And then the parts I didn't need anymore, like the old battery pack. | ||
| So there were some parts of the battery that were still good. | ||
| So I actually sold those parts online and on eBay and stuff like that. | ||
| And then I sold the motor. | ||
| It had water in it. | ||
| Someone gave me five grand for a motor that had water in it. | ||
| That's how valuable these parts are. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So was he planning on doing the same thing, cleaning it out? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| To this day, I don't know. | ||
| So I think he was in the same situation. | ||
| I think he brought it home to his wife. | ||
| He said, hey, look what I got. | ||
| It's probably still at his house. | ||
| And so after all that, sold all the parts, I ended up getting the car I have now for about six grand. | ||
| So you take the engine, and is that one of the four-wheel drive ones, the ones you have? | ||
| This was just the rear-wheel drive one. | ||
| So it has just the rear engine? | ||
| The single motor, yep. | ||
| One engine. | ||
| And so you take those out, you put it all back in, you replace the wires, and then it's good to go? | ||
| What about the computer? | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| So pretty much, the computer thing was interesting because... | ||
| So I called Tesla again. | ||
| I was like, hey buddy, this car is like 99% of the way there. | ||
| Do they know who you are? | ||
| At this point, they still don't know who I am. | ||
| Nor do they care. | ||
| They still probably don't care who I am. | ||
| But did you say, hey man, remember you hung up on me like four months ago? | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| The car still doesn't work. | ||
| The car still didn't work. | ||
| So the tough part was I had to... | ||
| So remember, I had no key for the car. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So I was like, hey, I need a key. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, help me out here. | ||
| I need a key. | ||
| And they were like, well, are you the same idiot that called? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I need the key. | ||
| They're like, we can't, as I stated before, we can't help you because, you know, this is a salvage car, so you're on your own. | ||
| So what I did was I actually, in the GPS screen, because the screen turned on, the guy still had the home location. | ||
| So I pushed home on the GPS screen, found the guy's address. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| This is creepy. | ||
| It gets creepy. | ||
| I found the guy's address and I was like, hey, you know, can we... | ||
| I called him up. | ||
| I was like, hey, did you own a white Tesla by chance? | ||
| And he's like, yeah, I own one. | ||
| I was like, yeah. | ||
| So I bought it and I need the key. | ||
| Do you have the key to the car? | ||
| And he's like, no, I don't have that. | ||
| What are you calling me for? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| He's like, well, I'm rebuilding it. | ||
| I'm putting the electronics from your car into another. | ||
| And I want to figure it out. | ||
| And he's like, you know what? | ||
| I can't help you. | ||
| I don't have the key. | ||
| And I was like, damn, it sucks. | ||
| I have a family and stuff. | ||
| And, you know, I really kind of gave him the sob story. | ||
| Like, you know, if you could really look for it and help me out, it'd be good. | ||
| And we started talking about general topics. | ||
| And he's like, you know, I know you're a car guy. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I had a Z06 once. | ||
| And I was like, hey, I have a Z06 too. | ||
| And he's like, yeah, it was Le Mans Blue. | ||
| And I was like, hey, mine's Le Mans Blue. | ||
| And he's like, what year is it? | ||
| I was like, it's an 06. He goes, I sold... | ||
| That same car or car like it, like two years ago, to a guy in Florida. | ||
| I was like, I bought the car from a guy in Florida. | ||
| So we started bonding, so it turns out I actually owned his old Z06. That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy, right? | ||
| What are the odds that two human beings on the planet, you own both of this guy's cars? | ||
| Both of his guys' cars. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| So he's like, listen, he goes, awesome, you know, I'll see if I could find the key. | ||
| Are you friends with that dude now? | ||
| No, we never talked again after that. | ||
| Seems like you should be friends. | ||
| Well, here's the reason why. | ||
| Well, number one, it was super creepy for me to call the guy. | ||
| Number two, when I went kind of silent for a week, he called me back and said, buddy, I found the key. | ||
| I found the key to the car. | ||
| I was like, awesome, dude. | ||
| You're fantastic. | ||
| I'm going to send you an envelope to your address so you could kind of give me the key. | ||
| And he's like, yeah, yeah, great, great, great. | ||
| How about like $600? | ||
| And I was like, Broheim, we just bonded over the fact that I own both of your cars. | ||
| What are you doing to me here? | ||
| $600 for the key. | ||
| And remember, to a lot of people, that's nothing. | ||
| But to me, I was trying to be cheap and scrappy. | ||
| $600 is a bit much. | ||
| $600 is $600. | ||
| Yeah, that's a bit much. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| And I was like, hey... | ||
| The key didn't exist to you as of like a week ago. | ||
| But now you can make money from it. | ||
| Like now you want to try your 600 bucks? | ||
| And he's just like, you know, da-da-da. | ||
| She started talking again. | ||
| And he goes, how about 400 bucks? | ||
| And I was like, you know what, guy? | ||
| I'll just give you the money. | ||
| Just take the damn money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blood money. | |
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Exactly, right? | ||
| So I sold my soul pretty much. | ||
| No, he did. | ||
| He's got that blood money. | ||
| No, but I feel like I shouldn't have taken it. | ||
| I would have rubbed that money on my balls, put it in an envelope, and go, here you go, bro. | ||
| Make sure you sniff that $100 bill first. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| I get it. | ||
| He's just being a dirtbag. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But after that, he got the key. | ||
| And that's what it is. | ||
| And then the car's running and driving today. | ||
| So as soon as you got the key, you're good. | ||
| Do you have one key or two? | ||
| Just one. | ||
| If I lose that, I'm screwed. | ||
| Can you make it... | ||
| Does the phone work, like your app, does it work on the car? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's big. | ||
| The app is big. | ||
| That's huge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's cool. | |
| When you get the car to come to you. | ||
| You can summon it. | ||
| Come to daddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| You can park like literally with an inch on each side. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you can come to daddy. | ||
| That's the problem is that I feel like with the Tesla, because I have a Model X now. | ||
| So I have the SUV now. | ||
| And that's the ultimate flex. | ||
| Tiffany Haddish had one, and she had it in the parking lot of the comedy store, and she had it dancing, and we were filming it. | ||
| The doors kind of go up and down and stuff? | ||
| Yeah, to the music, and she's out in front of the car dancing, and her and I are dancing, and everybody's dancing, and they're filming it. | ||
| It was a hilarious moment. | ||
| And it's funny, because I found myself... | ||
| I feel like this car's ruined me as a person. | ||
| I'm a typically pretty humble person, but having a Tesla, the fact that you could push a button, and the car comes to you... | ||
| It's a douchebag move because honestly, we were getting into our cars like peasants for years. | ||
| And one day I was at the gym and I was looking at my car from a distance and I was like, you know what? | ||
| I really don't feel like walking all the way to my car today. | ||
| How far? | ||
| It was probably like the distance from you to me. | ||
| It wasn't really that far. | ||
| It was like a glass in between us. | ||
| And I was like, you know what? | ||
| Come to daddy. | ||
| Come to daddy. | ||
| Push the button. | ||
| The car just backed out. | ||
| Everyone's like, whoa, that car's driving itself. | ||
| I was like, yeah, that's me. | ||
| Pushed the button, opened the door, got in. | ||
| I just drove off. | ||
| Yeah, when I take it and I put it in auto drive, that's when it really freaks me out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you use that often? | ||
| Often. | ||
| Yeah, it scares me. | ||
| It scares me, but I keep my hands right there, but it is freaky. | ||
| Has it tried to kill you yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay, that's good. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just joking. | |
| I always keep my hand there. | ||
| I always keep my hand there. | ||
| But I'm always... | ||
| The one thing I'm concerned with is that I think I'm lowering my guard. | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| I'm letting the car do too much. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because when you drive, one of the reasons for road rage is when we're driving around, we don't know who the fuck's next to us. | ||
| And we're going very fast, and it requires the ability to think really quickly, so your brain is in a heightened state of awareness. | ||
| And then someone does something stupid like, this motherfucker! | ||
| You fucking asshole! | ||
| You get rage, man. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's where the rage comes from. | ||
| But it lightens that almost maybe too much. | ||
| Because I think you do need to be at least aware that some shit could happen at any moment when cars are flying by you going 75 miles an hour. | ||
| So you don't take your hands fully off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I don't. | |
| You just let the car drive itself? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I just put my hand on it. | ||
| I don't take my hands fully off. | ||
| But if you do, you can only do it for so long and it'll start to warn you. | ||
| It's not to complain like, hey, what's going on here, buddy? | ||
| But apparently some dudes tried... | ||
| They said that didn't work. | ||
| I talked to one of those dudes who did that experiment. | ||
| Apparently that experiment didn't work. | ||
| The orange, yeah. | ||
| I think the orange... | ||
| I think that might work, man. | ||
| I think what does work better is they said a lightweight. | ||
| If you take a lightweight and put it on a rubber band and you hang it... | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| There was a guy that was selling that. | ||
| You hear about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He was selling... | ||
| It looked like a... | ||
| It was basically like a weight that went around the steering wheel, and it actually had the perfect amount of weight balance to make you think that your hand was still on the wheel. | ||
| People were buying it. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Tesla Autoplay buddy hat to a good nag. | ||
| Relaunches as a phone mount. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he had that, right? | ||
| He was selling it, and it was like 300 bucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then, you know, they were like, that's illegal. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You're bypassing like a safety device of the car. | ||
| So then what he did was he came back again with a vengeance and made it a phone mount. | ||
| He's clever. | ||
| He's clever, yeah. | ||
| That's a smart move, although I'm not sure I support it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think I do either. | ||
| That's kind of, that's a little bit much. | ||
| I don't think it's ready for that. | ||
| It weirds me out. | ||
| It weirds me out because the other thing is the other people are not... | ||
| Going with auto-drive so you're around you're going auto-drive and all these other people are just driving yeah, and I think when everyone's driving together You kind of in tune with each other. | ||
| Oh this asshole is trying to go really fast. | ||
| Yeah, right get the fuck I'm gonna overtake this guy, right? | ||
| Yeah, let me pass this guy you're aware of when you're just when you're auto-driving it's like you're like a like a assist right in this moving yeah Like, ecosystem of thinking. | ||
| Like, all these people be calculating each other. | ||
| But it's probably, ultimately, like, if you talk to Elon, he says it's way safer, and that it's the future. | ||
| I 100% agree with him. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But he obviously hates fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because why would you do that to the world? | ||
| Don't forget, right? | ||
| Elon can talk all the shit he wants. | ||
| Remember, he had a McLaren F1. Yes, he did. | ||
| And he still has a Jaguar E-Type, one of those really old ones, like a 69 with the long shark nose. | ||
| The long hood, yeah. | ||
| He still got that. | ||
| So he, at heart, he knows the deal. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He didn't make that car that fast for a practicality. | ||
| No, it makes no sense. | ||
| The same reason he made a fucking blowtorch. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| He's a silly person. | ||
| At least it's not a flamethrower, we know that. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Definitely not a flamethrower. | ||
| He's a silly super genius, is what he is. | ||
| In all the best ways. | ||
| Yes, right. | ||
| Only good ways. | ||
| I never say anything bad about him. | ||
| I love the guy. | ||
| I'm so glad he's alive. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I'm glad he's a real thing. | ||
| No, honestly, and I always agree, I get a lot of crap from people online saying I'm an Elon Musk hater, I'm a Tesla hater. | ||
| I could be critical sometimes, you know what I mean? | ||
| But it's like, the guy's a damn genius, man. | ||
| He's a damn genius. | ||
| He's a damn genius. | ||
| And critical is important. | ||
| Guys like you are important. | ||
| It's very important to hear what other people think if it's reasoned and intelligent. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it helps you even if you don't like hearing it. | ||
| Right, so I gotta keep, I mean, he's a genius, but sometimes you gotta keep the company in check. | ||
| The cars are phenomenal cars. | ||
| They're phenomenal cars. | ||
| And they weren't always. | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| Yeah, and what they were when they first came out, like, were you aware of the whole thing with Top Gear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| That was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they were being shady. | ||
| They were super shady. | ||
| Yeah, they were running the car down. | ||
| They pretended the car died. | ||
| They wanted to bash the car as much as they could, but for stuff like that, I'll stick up and say, yo, hey, you can't keep doing that. | ||
| And he got pissed. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| That's his baby. | ||
| Yeah, he sued them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's his baby. | |
| I think he lost. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because I think the way their show is structured... | ||
| That was... | ||
| It's entertainment. | ||
| Yes, it's entertainment and fiction. | ||
| But it's incredibly damaging to the company because it made it look like... | ||
| I don't know why they did that. | ||
| There's a couple things that Top Gear did, but I was like, why would you do that? | ||
| But some people remember, their focus is on petrol or gas-powered cars. | ||
| Like when an EV comes along and it's actually pretty damn good, in a lot of cases people are just like, "Shit, you can't let this thing win." Especially back in the day when that was going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was a long time ago, right? | ||
| Yeah, that was in 2012, I think. | ||
| Yeah, 2013. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you get the key from this guy's car. | ||
| You can't use the app. | ||
| So you have to rely on the software in the state that it's at. | ||
| There's no software updates? | ||
| No. | ||
| So here's the long story. | ||
| So get the car going. | ||
| Everything's great. | ||
| In order to get masked from the Tesla system, so there's a certain system that Tesla knows where all their cars are, and they could disable whatever they want. | ||
| They could do whatever they want. | ||
| They could shut you down? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So I had to reach out to this Tesla black hat hacker pretty much. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| You had to go to the dark web? | ||
| I had to go to the deep dark web. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And he was able to mask Tesla from seeing the car, which is why I can't have the Tesla app. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So he masked that. | ||
| So he got into the actual software itself? | ||
| Into the actual software itself. | ||
| The guy's a genius. | ||
| His name is Phil. | ||
| Switched one to zero? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He flipped the bit, and then it was able to be, the car could supercharge, the car could do everything. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And the car gets updates, too. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Oh, it does? | ||
| It does get updates, yeah. | ||
| And Tesla doesn't know it's getting updates? | ||
| No, you know what's funny? | ||
| Maybe we shouldn't say this. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just kidding. | ||
| No, they know the deal. | ||
| And here's the problem with that is that people love these cars a lot, man. | ||
| They love these cars. | ||
| You know, hence me. | ||
| I'm picking the car of like a dirty lake. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And fixing this thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So a lot of the times it's in their best interest, I believe, to help people out a little bit. | ||
| But no, the things that people go through for these cars is insane, man. | ||
| People just love them. | ||
| My take on it is that what they have is this ingenious company with this mad genius scientist who's running it who does a million other things at the same time. | ||
| And they don't have enough people to deal with someone like you. | ||
| They probably just don't. | ||
| They don't have a section of the company to deal with someone like you. | ||
| You remember when he was working, when they were trying to put out the Model 3 and he was working 16 hours a day and sleeping on the floor of the factory? | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| Shit, that don't make any sense. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| It doesn't make any sense, but people love the company. | ||
| They love this guy. | ||
| So, speaking of that, when he was working 16 hours a day and he was sleeping on the floor in the factory, right? | ||
| It was a big sob story, a billionaire sleeping on the floor in the factory. | ||
| A bunch of Tesla owners rallied together and they purchased a couch for him to sleep on. | ||
| Like tens of thousands of dollars. | ||
| What kind of couch is this? | ||
| It must have been a nice ass couch. | ||
| Crazy couch. | ||
| Yeah, but either way, like they rallied and they purchased a couch for him. | ||
| And like, I made a video on it and I said to myself, you know what? | ||
| This guy's a billionaire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the fact that everyone rallied together to help this guy, to show that there's support. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are hands over fists for this company, man. | ||
| They are. | ||
| It reminds me of Apple. | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| You know, I remember there was a guy, God bless his heart, who was one of the editors on news radio, the sitcom that I was on in the 90s, and he was such an apple head that he was like, he was talking about it like it was a sports team. | ||
| He was talking about it, well, I think we're really going to get those PC guys when the new MacBooks come out. | ||
| But he really said something to that... | ||
| Along those lines, I think we're really going to pull ahead. | ||
| Like, who's we? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We. | |
| Mac users. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're all together. | |
| What are you doing, we? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were on this weird little tribe Mac. | ||
| And this is the same thing, but you know what? | ||
| Picture the Apple fanboys, the Tesla fanboys, times 10. Yeah, they live in it. | ||
| It's like an Apple you live in. | ||
| It's times 10. They're driving to work in it. | ||
| Because Apple has the technology aspect of it. | ||
| Like, it's great. | ||
| Android sucks. | ||
| I have an Apple phone. | ||
| Okay, perfect, perfect. | ||
| But for Teslas, you're talking about technology. | ||
| So you have the tech nerds. | ||
| You're talking about sustainability as well for the green people. | ||
| So you have the tech and the green people. | ||
| And once they join forces, so the scariest force on the earth, right? | ||
| It isn't like war, like guns and stuff. | ||
| It's actually a Mac-owning Tesla vegan owner, pretty much. | ||
| It's the scariest thing in the world. | ||
| It really is the scariest thing in the world. | ||
| Because they'll tell you all about it at a party. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, you get cornered. | ||
| They get cornered. | ||
| And I've struggled with that in a lot of cases because whenever I say something remotely negative about Tesla, like, hey, I think Tesla could do a better job here. | ||
| They're just like, you're just a gas head. | ||
| I know you own a Z06. You work for big oil. | ||
| Someone accused me of working for big oil. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you do for them? | ||
| How do you work for big oil? | ||
| You can tell me, bro. | ||
| What does that mean you work for big oil? | ||
| Yeah, you're a part of the Illuminati. | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| You work for big oil. | ||
| How do I work for big oil? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| How much could they pay you, too? | ||
| First of all, before people would realize it, all of a sudden you're walking around with diamond chains on and shit. | ||
| Like a big Rolex hat. | ||
| You move to a giant mansion. | ||
| Are you still fixing cars? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you work Well, uh, you know, I got another thing going on. | |
| Yeah, right, right. | ||
| I'm making billions for big oil. | ||
| Yeah, buy a gas car. | ||
| Go to Shell. | ||
| Shell's great. | ||
| I don't understand how people think that whole shill thing works. | ||
| That you just get, like, a monthly check. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| Like, hey, Rich, say something negative about Tesla every once in a while. | ||
| We'll give you a check for 20 grand a month. | ||
| Gotta get that big oil check. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I suspect that what it is is similar to what my friend who was really addicted to Apple. | ||
| I think you just get on your tribe and that's my thing. | ||
| I'm all about Apple. | ||
| And that's your camp. | ||
| Windows are bullshit. | ||
| Windows is bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew. | |
| It's disgusting. | ||
| Why would you want to play? | ||
| What are you going to fuck with the config files? | ||
| Get in there and use DOS? Get out of here. | ||
| Yeah, you loser. | ||
| You loser. | ||
| But it's interesting because people like us are very different because... | ||
| We could appreciate both. | ||
| You have a phenomenal collection of cars. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And then you threw a Tesla in there, but you love both. | ||
| You love the driving aspect of your Porsche. | ||
| You love the silence and the 0-60 of your Tesla, too. | ||
| We could be part of both camps, but in a lot of cases, it's Camp Tesla, and if you're not with us, you're against us. | ||
| Silly. | ||
| Yeah, I have a Windows laptop, and I have an Apple laptop. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have both. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, you know why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because Windows has more options, and when you have more options, you get better configurations. | ||
| You get better keyboards. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, I have a Lenovo ThinkPad. | ||
| Oh, look at you. | ||
| Dude, they're the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's way better to write on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, the tactile feedback and the travel distance and the keys is so much longer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You just know where you're typing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And for me, as a writer, when I'm writing, like I'm writing stand-up or something like that, it requires less thinking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because my fingers just find the keys easier. | ||
| I mean like 10% plus easier. | ||
| And I bought an older Apple laptop too. | ||
| I bought a 2015, a refurbished one, because their keyboards were superior. | ||
| Yes, the new ones are so low profile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're terrible. | |
| They're terrible. | ||
| It's the shittiest fucking keyboard of any computer that you can buy today is a new MacBook Pro. | ||
| And they got busted for that because now, because their keyboards are so shitty, you have to take them back now. | ||
| They're doing recalls on the keyboards. | ||
| Well, they do have a new patent that they put out for a variable height keyboard where the key travel will vary and the key resistance will vary. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, there's a new patent that they filed for. | ||
| It doesn't necessarily mean they even have the technology for it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That sounds expensive. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| Well, I mean, if it's something you could press with a button that just raises the keys up, that would be like a solution. | ||
| Because if you think about the flatness of the key, the idea is they want to keep a low profile to this laptop or make it thin and sexy, which is like fucking weird. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I don't have the ThinkPad with me, but I have the X1 Carbon. | ||
| It's super thin. | ||
| And it weighs nothing. | ||
| And the battery life is excellent. | ||
| It lasts like six months. | ||
| Dude, it's a fucking great laptop. | ||
| So Apple, they're just only Apple. | ||
| And the problem with that one company only selling laptops is you just don't have enough variety. | ||
| There's not enough people that are offering challenges to it. | ||
| They don't have any challenges. | ||
| In fact, their biggest challenge is the Huawei MateBook. | ||
| Huawei basically stole their idea, but made it way better. | ||
| They made, oh, I see what you guys are doing. | ||
| You guys are fucking up. | ||
| We're going to do that too. | ||
| We're going to make it with better keys. | ||
| We're going to have no bezels on the side of the screen. | ||
| And you know, everyone's concerned about security. | ||
| Well, we're just going to have the webcam pop up as a key. | ||
| Have you seen that one? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, it's dope. | |
| That sounds next level shit. | ||
| I want to see that. | ||
| Huawei. | ||
| Am I saying that right? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Oh, shoot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's dope as fuck. | ||
| Look, no bezels. | ||
| No bezels. | ||
| No room for the webcam. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it has great keyboard travel, too. | ||
| I think it's like 1.5 millimeter key travel. | ||
| Which, if you're a person who writes all the time, I need to get my thoughts out. | ||
| I'm stupid, man. | ||
| Do you write a lot? | ||
| Do you write a lot? | ||
| I write a lot. | ||
| Stand up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I just write things and I extract stand up from them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But when I write, I don't need to be fucking with the keys, man. | ||
| So why do you use your Mac, then? | ||
| You list all these pros about the PC, but why do you buy a Mac? | ||
| Because I like to have both. | ||
| I use that when I travel, because I don't write as much when I travel, but I like to watch movies and shit. | ||
| Oh, look at that! | ||
| Yeah, pops up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How about that? | ||
| The F6 key or something? | ||
| It looks right up your nose, son. | ||
| That's pretty wild. | ||
| No, but that's good because the biggest thing is like when you're, you probably have like a Skype meetings or whatever, or Google Hangouts. | ||
| The worst thing in the world is like the camera turning on automatically. | ||
| That's a lie right there. | ||
| That image is a lie. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| That is not what it looks like. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| That's not even the right viewpoint. | ||
| Yeah, that's ridiculous. | ||
| No one's that good looking either. | ||
| Yeah, she's pretty hot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but it does pop up, man. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| So that's the thing, because it looks just like a Mac. | ||
| Yep, it looks just like a Mac, except it has more key travel, more comfortable, and that upper right-hand corner, that power button, is also a fingerprint reader. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Fuck it! | ||
| I'm going to buy one right now. | ||
| They're the shit. | ||
| I would use one. | ||
| But you don't have one? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| But I have a Lenovo. | ||
| Lenovo, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Which is great. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I mean, this is just... | ||
| It's all just better options. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The only difference is Windows is not as good as Mac OS. But it's not that much worse. | ||
| No, it's really not. | ||
| It's pretty fucking close. | ||
| Windows 10 is pretty fucking good. | ||
| I didn't see what this runs. | ||
| What is it running? | ||
| Windows or something? | ||
| It's Windows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Windows 10. Windows? | |
| Yeah, Windows. | ||
| Windows 10. Yeah. | ||
| Sure, it's not Android? | ||
| No, that's quite no sense. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| It would have to be one of those Chromebooks if it was going to run Android, which apparently is very good, too. | ||
| But the Chromebook designs are really nice, too. | ||
| Very nice. | ||
| They're super nice. | ||
| And you can get one super cheap. | ||
| Right, and the battery lasts like three months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's forever. | ||
| And if you're just putting documents, you put them in your Google Docs in the cloud, you pull it up instantaneously. | ||
| Go on Drive? | ||
| No, it's great, man. | ||
| But Huawei's a weird company, man. | ||
| Like, I don't know what I feel about them. | ||
| I'm buying into all this government propaganda about the Chinese spying on us. | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely spying on you, for sure. | ||
| Well, dude, I've had my credit card stolen, my number stolen three times this year. | ||
| Why? | ||
| How? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't know. | |
| It's never happened to me. | ||
| Yeah, well. | ||
| I think the more money you have, the more stuff you get stolen. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, maybe people find out. | ||
| It's annoying, though. | ||
| Like, I got a charge, but I have an app on my phone that shows me the charge, and it was during a podcast. | ||
| Well, I'm like, well, that definitely wasn't me. | ||
| Yeah, no, definitely not. | ||
| They get you with, like, $10 ones. | ||
| Like, a little $3, $10. | ||
| To test the waters. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Quad microphones accurately pick up sound from four meters away with a Huawei. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is that real? | ||
| They're spying on you, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What they're not telling you is the microphones are always active. | ||
| Always on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just like your phone? | ||
| They're always listening to you. | ||
| Government, bro. | ||
| Translate. | ||
| It's multiple people. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Microsoft Translator. | ||
| You hear about the new TVs. | ||
| You hear about the LG TVs that were constantly listening to conversations. | ||
| Wonderful. | ||
| And they told you, if you want to have a private, confidential conversation, don't have it in front of the TV. That's what they were basically saying. | ||
| What if you bang your wife in front of the TV? That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does it have cameras on them? | ||
| They have cameras too, yeah. | ||
| I think it live streams that. | ||
| I think it's like a sex mode. | ||
| After a while, everyone's just going to watch everybody do everything. | ||
| I really think within a hundred years, that's going to be the case. | ||
| That's the case now, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I think it's kind of like... | |
| Vloggers and like, you know, I'm on YouTube. | ||
| You know how that goes. | ||
| Everyone wants to see, oh, what are you doing now? | ||
| What are you doing now? | ||
| I didn't get a video last week. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What are you doing now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's... | ||
| But what we accept is way different than what our parents accepted or what their parents accepted. | ||
| And I think what our children accept is going to be way different. | ||
| And then what their children accept is going to be... | ||
| We're like two, three generations from it just being ridiculous, where there's no privacy. | ||
| How do you distance yourself? | ||
| Because you're a public figure, right? | ||
| How do you distance yourself? | ||
| Where do you draw the line for privacy, I guess you could say? | ||
| The real problem is when you're eating, man. | ||
| When people, like, come up to you while you have, like, I'll have a kid in my lap, and I'll be eating food and talking to the kid, and someone will literally come up to me and try to take a picture with me, ask me to take a picture with me. | ||
| I'm like, come on, man. | ||
| We're all out eating at a restaurant. | ||
| This is like, you know, just say hi. | ||
| Just say hi, man. | ||
| And I always tell people, when I'm done, I'm leaving, I'll take a picture with you. | ||
| But you can't. | ||
| You can't just interrupt dinner. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| But it's just people think like if they don't get a picture with you right now, I've got to get it right now. | ||
| Now, now, now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it, I don't care. | |
| I'm going in. | ||
| I'm going to ask them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they don't care. | ||
| I mean, and then they'll say, hey, that's the price you pay for being famous. | ||
| It's like, no, come on, guys. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Look, this is the deal. | ||
| The deal is someone provides something that you enjoy, whether it's stand-up or a thing, and I appreciate that you enjoy it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But that's our exchange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| All the other stuff... | ||
| I don't owe you anything else. | ||
| It's like meeting me at a restaurant and shit when I'm eating with my kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, come on, man. | ||
| You're asking for too much. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| Well, here's another question for you. | ||
| What kind of restaurants do you eat at where people feel they need to come up to you? | ||
| It was a regular restaurant. | ||
| Do you get a high-end, right? | ||
| Like Applebee's and stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
High-end. | |
| High-end Applebee's. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| I eat regular places. | ||
| Normal spots. | ||
| It's not normal that someone does that. | ||
| Most people are super respectful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But all it takes is one out of a hundred. | ||
| True. | ||
| And the night just gets weird, you know? | ||
| And most people don't. | ||
| Most people are cool, but it's every now and then people just have this idea that somehow or another you have to, if you are a famous person, you have to abandon everything. | ||
| That's the other thing, that you're not a person anymore. | ||
| You're like a famous person. | ||
| It's like the regular rules of meeting someone don't apply. | ||
| You would never just barge in on a regular person that you didn't know. | ||
| But if it's a regular famous person, people, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Oh, this is fine. | ||
| You could be having a conversation where you and your friend are both crying and talking about someone that died. | ||
| People don't give a fuck. | ||
| Hey, man, I'm sorry to interrupt, bro. | ||
| Do I get that picture? | ||
| Do I get that picture, bro? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Do I get that picture, bro? | ||
| So what's the weirdest interaction you've had with someone? | ||
| It's mostly just that kind of stuff. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| The weirdest shit is people that tell me that they're going to give me secrets. | ||
| Like UFO-type stuff, Bigfoot, and I know where the bases are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Those motherfuckers, yeah, schizos. | ||
| I've had a few of those. | ||
| At restaurants? | ||
| Or just walking down the street? | ||
| No, just usually at comedy shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, usually at comedy shows. | ||
| Do you ever walk down the street? | ||
| That's a weird thing I just asked you. | ||
| I mean, because like when... | ||
| You're always either driving, you're going somewhere. | ||
| You ever go for a casual walk? | ||
| Not around... | ||
| Well, I do. | ||
| I walk my dog. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But no, I don't walk around L.A. Nobody does. | ||
| Nobody walks in L.A. There's like pockets of walking in L.A. Okay, so time out real quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Real quick story. | ||
| We're talking with Rich. | ||
| So I landed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know Boston. | ||
| You know the deal in Boston. | ||
| So I landed and a buddy of mine picked me up from the airport and I got to where I was staying. | ||
| I was staying in the Mission District. | ||
| And you're like, look at all the sun, first of all. | ||
| It was freaking great. | ||
| The sun was awesome, right? | ||
| I was like, oh my gosh, sun. | ||
| No gray skies. | ||
| And then I looked down. | ||
| Literally homeless people everywhere. | ||
| What is going on with that? | ||
| It blew my mind because... | ||
| Literally, so I went to the gym in the morning, and I was like at 7 a.m., and I saw probably just as many homeless people living in tents next to buildings as there were people commuting to work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like thousands. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Have you been to Skid Row yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| God, I'm scared. | ||
| Dude, you got to go. | ||
| You should go while you're here because it's like the Grand Canyon. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's like the Grand Canyon of homeless people. | ||
| Why would I want to go there? | ||
| Because you can't believe the... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Did you watch the Battle of Winterfell? | ||
| Game of Thrones? | ||
| No. | ||
| Don't tell me. | ||
| No spoiler alerts. | ||
| No. | ||
| I won't give any spoiler alerts. | ||
| I'll have to come up with a better... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here's a better analogy. | ||
| Did you ever see I Am Legend? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Remember when all the fucking crazy zombie people are running at once? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| I'm telling you, you can't believe the volume. | ||
| Doesn't someone even like... | ||
| In Boston, listen. | ||
| They freeze to death and die, right? | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| So no, in Boston, we hide our homeless people. | ||
| We have like shelters and stuff. | ||
| We hide them. | ||
| For the most part, you know, Downtown Crossing, Area Park Street, whatever. | ||
| They're like the junkies that like have that, the whole gangster lean. | ||
| They just lean and close their eyes and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| For the most part, right? | ||
| And then we, you know, it gets cold. | ||
| They scatter. | ||
| I don't know where they go, but you don't really see them that much. | ||
| You know, I'm not being rude. | ||
| Like, I don't mind seeing them. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| But like, in Sanford, they're in your face, man. | ||
| Like you, I've... | ||
| If... | ||
| San Francisco is the craziest. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| So like, honestly, and I know one of my friends, he said, listen, you know, come to my house, you know, whatever, we're going to hang out for a bit, school, no problem. | ||
| Went to his house, like, you know, small place, not about a thousand square feet. | ||
| I'm like, pretty nice. | ||
| He goes, yeah, you know, I'm kind of, you know, things are a little tough. | ||
| Can I, you know, can I borrow some money? | ||
| I was like, borrow money from me? | ||
| What are you talking about, dude? | ||
| This is, you live in, you know, you're doing okay. | ||
| He's like, yeah, I live in paycheck to paycheck. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I'm like, this is a, this is like, you know, you got a decent place. | ||
| The house that we were in was a $1.6 million house and it was this big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm like, everything's expensive, man. | |
| It's so stupid. | ||
| And then another friend of mine said, listen, hey, come to my house, you know, and I pull up to the house. | ||
| It's a warehouse. | ||
| Like, they live in a warehouse. | ||
| That's actually cool. | ||
| You can live like Blade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| Wesley Snipes lives with Chris Christopherson. | ||
| You're right, you're right. | ||
| He had the motorcycle. | ||
| He had the fucking charger, the Dodge Charger. | ||
| But it sounds cool. | ||
| When you have kids, living in a warehouse isn't that great. | ||
| No way, no. | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| It's a common thing, I've noticed, for people to live in either abandoned buildings, warehouses, and cars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know how people that live in cars, and the amount of smashed windows that I've seen here, it's... | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| Well, most of those people living in cars are actually stand-up comedians. | ||
| In LA, everybody has a fucking story. | ||
| So many comics come here, and when they first settle in, they live in their car. | ||
| That's super normal. | ||
| That's just crazy. | ||
| Maybe like 10 of my friends lived in their car. | ||
| Literally live in cars. | ||
| Or used to, at least, and then got an apartment eventually. | ||
| Got a bigger car. | ||
| Well, that's an issue we're having around here. | ||
| We're having around here with these people that live in caravans. | ||
| They live in these mobile home things. | ||
| I've seen them, yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If you drive around this community, you go down certain streets and you just see these mobile homes. | ||
| Massive caravans, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and they have towels over the windows. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| They're cooking meth inside of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Bro, these are dirty people, some of these fuckers. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| So how come... | ||
| Again, in Boston, we just kind of say, hey, there's no likely no loitering. | ||
| Well, they're kicking people out now because businesses are complaining because there was one business where this guy had parked his caravan right in front of it. | ||
| This is where a buddy of mine works. | ||
| And this dude had laid out his blanket on their front lawn and was sunning himself in front of his caravan. | ||
| So the front of his building became this guy's lawn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So this guy in this caravan was literally using... | ||
| They were sharing grass. | ||
| So he's got this multi-million dollar building, and he's sharing it with a homeless guy who's cooking meth. | ||
| Or I don't know if it's meth, but it's some white, noxious smoke that comes out of the fucking place. | ||
| I couldn't... | ||
| So it's... | ||
| It was different for me. | ||
| The weather's awesome, but that was a big thing. | ||
| And I feel like, as I'm walking around more, if I see a large standing body of water, I'm like, there's a homeless guy living there, too? | ||
| People are just everywhere. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| I'm telling you, what you saw is nothing. | ||
| Well, you've got to go to Skid Row. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Is that Skid Row? | ||
| Skid Row. | ||
| This is Google Maps. | ||
| Skid Row. | ||
| I just started snooping around. | ||
| They must have cleaned it up right before. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| Let me tell you something, man. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at all that to the right and to the left. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| So how do people... | ||
| Some people have businesses there. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| Or they just deal with it. | ||
| They just deal with it, most of them. | ||
| Most of those people, they just put all, like, gates and locks and shit and deal with it. | ||
| So what's on Skid Row business-wise? | ||
| Back up where you just were, Jamie? | ||
| Where you just were? | ||
| Well, it's a lot of warehouses and shit. | ||
| But the interesting thing is this area is getting, air quotes, gentrified. | ||
| So this is where a lot of businesses are going now. | ||
| They're opening up apartment buildings. | ||
| A buddy of mine has lived there. | ||
| My friend Magnus, Magnus Walker, he's a famous car guy too. | ||
| I don't know if you know who he is. | ||
| He's got all these videos of Porsches. | ||
| He rebuilds old Porsches. | ||
| He's got these crazy dreadlocks and beard and crazy Englishmen. | ||
| But he's been living down there forever. | ||
| And he has this warehouse where he has it set up where his living space is one part of the warehouse and then down below he has these cars. | ||
| And he has it all set up. | ||
| But if you drive down some of these roads, you'll see these super expensive apartment buildings that are going up now. | ||
| And then a block over, you'll see these homeless encampments. | ||
| And people think it's cute to be around all this dirt. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| So that's someone's apartment. | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just set up tents, and then the cops kick them out, and they just come back, and they move, and then they come back. | ||
| But they make these encampments, and you just have to deal with it. | ||
| So it's like, if you live in that area, you just have to jump over needles and try to figure your way through it. | ||
| I feel terrible, because most of this is either drug addiction or mental illness. | ||
| Those are the real problems. | ||
| Do you guys have no drug addiction or mental illness, like, places that you could go to for help here? | ||
| I don't I don't know what it is, man. | ||
| I don't know enough about it. | ||
| I'm entirely ignorant about what's going on. | ||
| I know that if you talk to people that work in the field, that work with these folks, they say that it all really started to happen. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's like, run over my legs. | ||
| Fuck, and I need disability. | ||
| Oh my goodness, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| People laying on the street. | ||
| Honestly, if you were to take a screenshot of what you just showed me, I'd be like, okay, that's some third world country. | ||
| This is LA. People can't even afford to live in LA. I know. | ||
| It might as well be a third world country, though. | ||
| I mean, it might as well be the apocalypse. | ||
| It's the apocalypse for those folks. | ||
| I mean, at least they're around all these cars and shit, but I mean, there are thousands of homeless people in that whole Skid Row area. | ||
| They're right next to the Mission there. | ||
| Yes, that's one of the things that keeps them there, I guess. | ||
| Well, they have like four beds or like three beds in the whole thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know, man. | |
| That's wild, man. | ||
| But they allow most of this to go on. | ||
| I don't know how often they break it up and make people move, but the numbers are so high, there's not much they can do. | ||
| Man, that's crazy. | ||
| That's sad, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's sad. | |
| That's super sad. | ||
| But what do you do? | ||
| How do you fix that? | ||
| Like, I don't have any solution. | ||
| I mean, you can't tell people this shit. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a documentary. | ||
| Do you remember Proz from the Fugees? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, Proz. | ||
| He went and spent three days down there undercover in quotes where he had people filming him, experiencing it, and then he'd come back and do an interview of what he just went through and It came out 10 years ago, so it's different. | ||
| I'm assuming it's worse now, but it's definitely not good in this documentary. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| So I was on my one wheel, right? | ||
| Just riding by. | ||
| I was commuting back and forth. | ||
| By the way, that thing is badass. | ||
| It's pretty crazy, right? | ||
| Yeah, I rode yours today. | ||
| You did ride mine. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| And after watching you scoot around effortlessly, I was like, how hard could it be? | ||
| You need one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should get one. | |
| I also don't need broken elbows. | ||
| Honestly, it's a good core workout. | ||
| I'm sure it is. | ||
| It's a great workout. | ||
| I think it's a better core workout. | ||
| I'll show you this hip and glute machine from Rogue where you put your ankles in this thing and you lean all the way back and go all the way up. | ||
| You have some next level shit here, by the way. | ||
| You have some cool stuff, man. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Man warehouse. | ||
| Can I live here? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| There's plenty of room. | ||
| There's tons of room. | ||
| Bring a tent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You camp out of the jiu-jitsu mats. | |
| But yeah, so I was riding my one wheel past this kind of overpass. | ||
| And there was a tent there. | ||
| And like a lady sticks her hand out and she offers me a chocolate, what was it? | ||
| I think it was a chocolate ladybug, right? | ||
| It was a ladybug wrapped in like that tin that makes it look like chocolate or whatever. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I'm like, no, thank you, no, thank you. | ||
| Right back in the next day, offers it to me again. | ||
| I was like, no, thank you, no, thank you. | ||
| I was like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to like, you know, do something nice, right? | ||
| So I get five bucks. | ||
| And I was like, I'll give it to her, you know, nice gesture. | ||
| I write up, you know, I give her, you know, I hand her the five bucks. | ||
| As I start slowing down on the one wheel, other people started popping their heads out of the tents and they actually saw me give her the money and immediately a guy runs out and like snatches it directly out of her hand. | ||
| I'm just like, I've never seen anything like that before. | ||
| I know I'm really passionate about that, but I just can't stop thinking about it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's really crazy out here, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And everyone comes to LA, California to get their big break. | ||
| Like, oh, I'm going to be like a famous whatever, famous actor, singer, exotic dancer, porn star, whatever. | ||
| And the struggle's real out here. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| It's real everywhere, but whenever you get giant groups of people, you're going to get a higher percentage of people that are out here that are homeless or struggling. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Again, I don't know what the – what's the solution? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| I know they don't put enough effort into it. | ||
| Whatever the solution is, that's one of the arguments that – who was it? | ||
| Someone made. | ||
| Was it Cher? | ||
| Someone unlikely – I had a really good argument that everybody is so concerned about illegal aliens getting into this country and so not concerned about our homeless problem. | ||
| And what the fuck is that about? | ||
| There's people right here, right now, that we're not taken care of. | ||
| And you're like, but these people from other countries, they're trying to... | ||
| Oh, but we're trying to do this now. | ||
| My take on that, though, is, but those people are trying to do better. | ||
| They just got fucked. | ||
| Whereas the other people live in America. | ||
| Okay, vets, too. | ||
| Many are vets. | ||
| It's Cher. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| That's what happens when an old lady... | ||
| Does she still look that good? | ||
| What's she look like now? | ||
| She's going back in time, bro. | ||
| How old is Cher? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 12. She went back in time. | |
| If my state can't... | ||
| First of all, this is my problem. | ||
| Why is this bitch capitalizing every word? | ||
| Oh, that's frustrating. | ||
| Oh my god, I just noticed that. | ||
| She's capitalizing all of them, and then afterwards, she's capitalizing the first letter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The whole sentence. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| If, capital, M-Y, capital, S-T-A-T-E. Does she have someone to write this for her? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| Must be. | ||
| Must be. | ||
| She's got an assistant. | ||
| She's got an assistant who hates her. | ||
| She's like, I'm subtly going to make this bitch look stupid. | ||
| I'm tired of her and her fake pictures and her Photoshop filters. | ||
| Fuck you, Cher! | ||
| Can we find a recent photo of Cher? | ||
| How old is Cher, actually? | ||
| She's 150. I would say she's 65. How old do you think she is? | ||
| Take a guess. | ||
| How old do you think she is? | ||
| 60... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe 70. 72. 72! | |
| Damn. | ||
| She's actually about to turn 73 in a couple weeks. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| When I was a kid. | ||
| Well, it makes sense. | ||
| Man, I'm 51. That's her like 20 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| That's her yesterday, you asshole. | ||
| No way. | ||
| You're misogyny. | ||
| Is that what money does? | ||
| That's some vampire facial. | ||
| Is that what money does? | ||
| I gotta get some money. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta get that money. | ||
| Money gets you good Google search pictures. | ||
| That's all it gets you. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| But that's what they sound like when they get to that age. | ||
| They start talking crazy. | ||
| Is that her real hair? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| She bought it. | ||
| She owns it. | ||
| She does own that hair, yes. | ||
| She looks pretty good, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| She looks good. | ||
| She married? | ||
| You want that? | ||
| No, I do not. | ||
| I don't know why I asked that. | ||
| That was a weird segue. | ||
| Well, the move is, like, you know, really get her to sign no prenup, you know, and how much time she got left. | ||
| Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. | ||
| I mean, if you could hang in there for 20 years, what are the odds that she can, too? | ||
| I got waited out. | ||
| You got waited out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| That's awful. | ||
| Oh, good for her. | ||
| This is announced on our tour this year, this picture. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| What the fuck it is, bro? | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| People use my old pictures from my tour. | ||
| I don't even ask them to. | ||
| If you find that picture of me against a brick wall, we took that shit back at the old studio. | ||
| That picture's like four years old. | ||
| Yeah, she's on tour. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Yeah, good for her. | ||
| We were talking about vampire facials that some ladies, Jeff told us, this lady, two people got HIV. They got AIDS, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not necessarily AIDS. Sorry, I jumped the gun. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I jumped the gun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I apologize. | |
| But it's more fun to say AIDS than HIV. I apologize for him with HIV. AIDS is like, it feels like you're not even supposed to say AIDS. Yeah, like you can't say AIDS. It's like if you say AIDS, you're like, whoa, you insensitive asshole. | ||
| Slow down, brother. | ||
| Two tests positive for HIV after vampire facial. | ||
| It says vampire facial is girls get jabbed in the face with some... | ||
| Is it plasma? | ||
| What is it, PRP? What are they doing? | ||
| Didn't Kim Kardashian get that? | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, she took pictures of it on the Insta. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| So, wait a minute. | ||
| Don't they get a new needle every time? | ||
| Use the same needle? | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| No, there's Kim. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, hashtag awesome. | |
| I don't know if they use other people's blood for the facial. | ||
| What? | ||
| P-pop stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's probably what's going on. | ||
| I don't think it's that it's a used needle. | ||
| I think it's that they're using someone else's blood. | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| This doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Like, does this make sense to anyone? | ||
| No, because I would think that if you drew blood, you would draw it from yourself. | ||
| Oh, so it takes it from your body. | ||
| Right, so that is basically platelet-rich plasma. | ||
| But why would anybody get HIV unless you're giving it to yourself? | ||
| Maybe they already had HIV. Bam! | ||
| Myth busted. | ||
| Blaming it on Mexico, as per usual. | ||
| Why did she do it on her nose? | ||
| She did it on every part of her body but her nose. | ||
| She's scared of her nose. | ||
| She wants her nose to look old. | ||
| Because it's plastic. | ||
| Just kidding. | ||
| Just kidding, Cam, if you watch this. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Just kidding. | ||
| LOL. Yeah. | ||
| So what happened to these fucking people? | ||
| Did they really use an old needle? | ||
| They probably already had AIDS. That's what it is. | ||
| These people are goddamn liars. | ||
| Because think about it for a second. | ||
| Why would you take an AIDS test before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| Ooh, we're getting deep. | ||
| I took an AIDS test before and after my facial. | ||
| And then I didn't even have AIDS until after my facial. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| That's like the Indian footage. | ||
| They found footprints of what they think is Bigfoot in India. | ||
| And people saying, hey, asshole, this is an animal hopping. | ||
| This thing's only got one leg. | ||
| If there's a Bigfoot, it's a one-legged Bigfoot, like some Dr. Seuss creature. | ||
| They're like, look, stupid. | ||
| That's not two feet. | ||
| That's not bipedal. | ||
| What do you guys do? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's one leg. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boing, boing, boing. | ||
| That's an animal jumping, you assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| The thick part is where their butt lands. | ||
| The front part is their paws. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they just keep going. | ||
| See? | ||
| You see one of them. | ||
| It's even broken up. | ||
| Like, look at that one picture where, like, one of those footprints is actually two separate marks in the snow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not even a wildlife biologist. | ||
| The one right there. | ||
| I'm not even a wildlife biologist. | ||
| That's a rabbit, bro. | ||
| That's a rabbit. | ||
| Those look kind of big to be a rabbit, though. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty big for a rabbit. | ||
| Like a whole-body rabbit, you mean like the butt? | ||
| Yeah, like a fucking big-ass rabbit. | ||
| They have some big-ass rabbits. | ||
| How big do rabbits get? | ||
| In the Himalayas? | ||
| Dude, have you ever seen some... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's what I'm wondering. | ||
| If this isn't the Himalayas, what is your animal it could be? | ||
| Well, one of the things, this is very interesting about animals, is that when they go further north, contrary to logic, like what you would think, they actually get larger. | ||
| You would think, well, it's colder up there. | ||
| They probably get smaller. | ||
| A little thicker. | ||
| But no, they preserve their body temperature by being larger. | ||
| That's why moose are so big. | ||
| They're the furthest north of all the cow species. | ||
| That kind of makes sense to me. | ||
| Totally makes sense. | ||
| If you get a deer from Mexico, they're tiny. | ||
| They're like 100 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's a deer called a coos deer, and a really big one. | ||
| Cows are coos, depending on who you ask. | ||
| C-O-U-S. But it's a variation of the white-tailed deer that's really small. | ||
| It only weighs like 100 pounds. | ||
| And it's in Mexico. | ||
| A full-grown one is like a dog-sized. | ||
| And then there's other ones that are in Saskatchewan, the same species, that are 300 pounds. | ||
| How do you know so much about deers? | ||
| Because I kill them and I eat them. | ||
| Oh, you're a hunter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgot you're a hunter. | |
| That explains the giant bow outside. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ah. | ||
| That's how I get my meat. | ||
| No, please. | ||
| You don't go to the supermarket like everyone else? | ||
| I do go to supermarkets. | ||
| Occasionally. | ||
| But most of the meat that I eat, I try to eat from animals that I kill. | ||
| Where do you hunt? | ||
| In L.A.? No. | ||
| L.A. is tricky. | ||
| The tents get in the way of your line of sight. | ||
| It's hard to line up. | ||
| But you can get a lot of coyote hunting in L.A. if you want. | ||
| There's fucking coyotes everywhere out here, man. | ||
| Would you eat a coyote from L.A.? I don't think I'd eat a coyote, period. | ||
| Unless it was a goof or I was really hungry. | ||
| You can eat them, though. | ||
| I mean, you can. | ||
| It's just meat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd have to cook it really, really well, but when you cut away all the fur and mange and all the shit on the outside, you're just getting a tissue. | ||
| Where do you hunt, typically? | ||
| The mountains. | ||
| Usually, every year I go to Utah. | ||
| In the mountains of Utah. | ||
| What do you got, Jamie? | ||
| Further explanation on this. | ||
| Oh, it's a bear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They call a Yeti something different. | ||
| A Himalayan brown bear or a Tibetan blue bear. | ||
| Oh, what they call, with all due respect, what we call Yeti. | ||
| Is with all probability either... | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| Okay, it's not like they call the Himalayan bear a Yeti. | ||
| It's like they're saying that it was probably a bear that was making those marks. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| If those are big marks that the bear is hopping through the snow. | ||
| If it's thick snow, that makes sense. | ||
| That guy, Kunal, he's a nice guy with all due respect to everyone. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| The single footprints are when the bear walks on four feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| So, you go to Utah. | ||
| And you just wait? | ||
| Well, there's a lot of hiking. | ||
| You know, you go and essentially you go where you know that the elk are going to be in the area and when they're in the rut, which is when you hunt, that's when it's legal, which means they're mating and breeding and smashing heads together and shit. | ||
| Then you hear them. | ||
| You hear them scream at each other. | ||
| And you're ready to be killed. | ||
| Well, they are definitely ready to be killed then. | ||
| Little do they know. | ||
| Then you've got to figure out how to sneak in on them. | ||
| But they can't help themselves. | ||
| They're competing with all these other males. | ||
| So they're always like screaming at each other and smashing heads. | ||
| And occasionally you'll find one that's dead that was killed by another bull. | ||
| But you don't eat that? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You could. | ||
| I mean, you certainly could if it was like a recent kill. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you knew. | ||
| If you got to it like right when it was dying. | ||
| Take temperature, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the blood was still coming out of its body. | ||
| But you will find them. | ||
| They get stabbed and they kill each other. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's the whole reason why those antlers exist. | ||
| It's for war. | ||
| Yeah, for stabbing. | ||
| They just fuck each other up. | ||
| They don't even use it to defend against other animals, like wolves and shit. | ||
| They kick the wolves most of the time. | ||
| So how do you get the thing back? | ||
| Those things aren't light. | ||
| Yeah, you have to do what's called quartering it, which is you take the legs off, and you take the front legs off, and then you take the meat off the carcass, and then you take the heart and the liver and the edible organs, and you have to pack it out. | ||
| So you have a crew that goes with you? | ||
| Or is it just you with a big ass knife? | ||
| Look, I'm not very good at hunting. | ||
| I'm like, if hunting was a martial art, I'd be a blue belt. | ||
| A blue belt is like your white belt, blue belt, purple belt, brown belt, black belt. | ||
| I'm not a black belt. | ||
| I'm like a blue belt. | ||
| Maybe I could get my purple belt if I work real hard this year. | ||
| But I go with a guide who's going to take me to the places that I need to go and show me and a guy who's an experienced outdoorsman who basically teaches you. | ||
| It's like having a trainer in martial arts. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like a sensei. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He knows the landscape. | ||
| He's a hardened outdoorsman. | ||
| These guys never get fucking tired. | ||
| And they'll go and take you and show you. | ||
| But then it's your job to execute the shot, your job to get close, your job to stalk in, your job to make sure that you don't get what's called winded. | ||
| It means the animal smells you, the wind's at your back, and the wind carries your scent towards the animal. | ||
| So you have to move around. | ||
| There's a lot of thought that goes into this. | ||
| There's a lot of thought that goes into this. | ||
| Well, I don't use a gun. | ||
| I use a bow. | ||
| Which is even crazier. | ||
| But I have used a gun. | ||
| I have. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I shot a bow once and it didn't go so well. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Just shooting targets is really fun. | ||
| It's very cathartic. | ||
| There's a release when that arrow finds its target. | ||
| It just feels really good. | ||
| It's probably some primitive shit from back when we used to rely on killing things with bows and arrows. | ||
| Like accuracy. | ||
| But there's something about hitting something. | ||
| When you're shooting something at a target and it hits it, it's very, very satisfying. | ||
| It's very rewarding, yeah, of course. | ||
| And when you do that with a bow and arrow, it's very difficult. | ||
| It's more challenging. | ||
| It's more rewarding. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never used a traditional bow. | ||
| I mean, I have, like, a couple of times, but I've never really tried to shoot with, like, a traditional bow or a recurve bow. | ||
| Oh, you have the kind of gun, but they also, like that. | ||
| No, no, I have a, you draw it. | ||
| I mean, you have to pull it back, but it's a compound bow. | ||
| It relies on these mechanical, these gears that, these, what do they call it, cams. | ||
| Is it like the bow in Walking Dead? | ||
| Maybe watch No, that's a crossbow. | ||
| That's a crossbow? | ||
| Yeah, that's a bullshit bow. | ||
| What that is is a shitty gun. | ||
| This guy's got a trigger. | ||
| He did pretty well with it, though. | ||
| I mean, he killed a lot of zombies. | ||
| It would make me very angry. | ||
| Very frustrated. | ||
| First of all, he doesn't even have a broadhead on that stupid thing. | ||
| He's shooting them with little pencil holes, and he's killing them instantly. | ||
| That's all he had access to. | ||
| Bitch, make a broadhead. | ||
| Make a broadhead, bro. | ||
| Break into a... | ||
| Break into a Bass Pro Shop. | ||
| Get yourself some broadheads. | ||
| You know, come on, man. | ||
| I actually did see a few Bass Pro Shops in Walking Dead. | ||
| They just walk right past them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, what are you guys doing? | |
| Get in there, bro. | ||
| There's guns and nets and camping gear. | ||
| Kayaks. | ||
| So that's a crossbow. | ||
| And that's a very controversial weapon amongst outdoorsmen. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Because they use those during bow season. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And there's a reason why bow season... | ||
| If you looked at statistics across the board, if you have what's called a tag, like say if you wanted to go deer hunting, you'd have to get a license and then you'd get a tag. | ||
| And if the tag was available for the area you wanted, you'd pay a certain amount for that tag. | ||
| Now, if you get a bow tag, they make the bow season earlier, you have a much higher likelihood of failure with a bow than you do with a gun. | ||
| So I could say like 50% of the people that got a tag, it's usually not that high, but if 50% of the people that got a tag for a rifle were successful, it might be 10% with a bow. | ||
| It might be even less. | ||
| It might be even less in some places, depending on how rugged the landscape is, how hard it is to get to where the animals are. | ||
| And you have to be able to shoot far accurately. | ||
| So do you do most of the shooting when you go up there? | ||
| I do all the shooting. | ||
| Yeah, I shoot them myself. | ||
| That's impressive, man. | ||
| That's a manly ass thing to do. | ||
| You do a lot of manly shit, I noticed. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm probably compensating for something. | ||
| I didn't want to say that, but yeah. | ||
| It's funny because you do a lot of... | ||
| I noticed that the whole MMA stand-up, making everyone laugh, and then I didn't know you hunted as well. | ||
| Well, you know what it is, man? | ||
| I don't have anybody telling me what to do. | ||
| So because I don't have anybody telling me what to do, I gravitate towards things that I'm really interested, which is why you're here. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I mean, I found out about your story. | ||
| I was like, that guy seems cool. | ||
| And then I saw YouTube videos. | ||
| I go, oh, he's cool. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| I mean, to have that kind of freedom in your life is a beautiful thing. | ||
| And I feel incredibly fortunate that I have that kind of freedom. | ||
| So I indulge it. | ||
| I indulge it like a little baby, like a child. | ||
| I just gravitate towards things that I like to do. | ||
| And people could say it's stereotypically toxic masculinity or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, okay. | |
| Whatever. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I'm nice. | ||
| I'm a nice person. | ||
| But I gravitate towards manly shit. | ||
| I like watching fights. | ||
| I like doing martial arts. | ||
| You like fighting, watching fights. | ||
| I like hunting. | ||
| I like cars. | ||
| I like these things. | ||
| I mean, what am I going to pretend that I don't like them to make other people feel happy? | ||
| Some people feel intimidated by that. | ||
| Like, oh, it's too manly. | ||
| That's the problem is you don't want to look like an asshole, which I've experienced. | ||
| I look like an asshole. | ||
| I look like an asshole just looking at me. | ||
| I look like an asshole to me. | ||
| I'm sure I look like an asshole to other people. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I appreciate that. | |
| You're a very open-minded guy. | ||
| This guy looks like a decent guy coming out of that fancy Tesla of his. | ||
| Actually, I would think you're an environmentalist. | ||
| Probably a douchebag. | ||
| Yeah, probably like super vegan-y. | ||
| Yeah, ugh, look at him. | ||
| Really annoying. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't want your kids to get vaccinated. | ||
| Yeah, doing the shit you want to do, that's definitely a big deal, man. | ||
| So I definitely respect that about you. | ||
| I think more people should do that. | ||
| I think one of the things that we have a problem with people doing what they want to do is because we don't get to do what we want to do. | ||
| So when we see other people, they're like, yeah, that's bullshit. | ||
| We get mad or we're like, he doesn't even really like that stuff. | ||
| Or he's, you know, oh yeah, you're just falling into the typical, stereotypical masculine behavior. | ||
| Maybe explore your sensitivity, man. | ||
| Why would people say that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they're bitches. | |
| People love telling you how to do shit. | ||
| I hate that. | ||
| It's usually men that are bitches. | ||
| There's a lot of those out there. | ||
| Funny how that works. | ||
| Do you have any names for me? | ||
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| I'll write them down. | ||
| I'll write them down. | ||
| So speaking of that, so interesting story for you. | ||
| So I was kind of talking back to your guy back and forth about being on the show. | ||
| And the craziest thing happened where I was out here to actually work on a Tesla-related project. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And the top secret is going to come out in a couple months. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Basically, I was at my job, right? | ||
| And then I was like, hey, listen, I gotta take a week off to go out to California and work on this project. | ||
| And then I was talking to your guy, and they're like, hey, listen, if you're going to be out here, come back the next week as well. | ||
| You know, you could say, hey, listen, you have two weeks out here. | ||
| I told my boss, and he's like, listen, man, like, two weeks is kind of a long time. | ||
| We don't have any coverage. | ||
| Like, you know, I know you're going to be on Joe Rogan. | ||
| It's really cool, but I'm not sure if I can let you do that or not. | ||
| So I made a decision. | ||
| Following in your light, I said, you know what? | ||
| Then I'll leave my job then. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, I left my job, man. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I left my job, which is why I'm here. | ||
| I need a job, Joe. | ||
| Just fucking with you. | ||
| Did you really leave your job? | ||
| I did, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for you. | |
| It was a big thing because I had this whole meme thing going on my YouTube channel. | ||
| And I used to say, oh, I have a full-time job. | ||
| I can't work on these builds. | ||
| I can't do this. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| It was getting in the way. | ||
| And you have no idea. | ||
| I finally left. | ||
| And this is kind of... | ||
| I was reading your story a while back about how you got started in the whole comedy thing, how you went out in Boston, went to L.A. | ||
| And it just felt so liberating because literally when you're doing something that you're not passionate about, that's literally eight to ten hours of your day doing something that you just don't really want to do. | ||
| It's most of your day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's most of your day. | ||
| So it's insane. | ||
| So I thought to myself, you know what? | ||
| Everyone's in the rat race. | ||
| Everyone's rushing to get somewhere. | ||
| You know about Boston. | ||
| You're rushing to get on the train. | ||
| You're rushing to get somewhere that you don't really want to be. | ||
| You're rushing there to work for eight hours for someone else doing something that you don't want to do. | ||
| And it just gets taxing, man. | ||
| It was just taxing. | ||
| And you're not going to do your best with the things you do afterwards. | ||
| If you've been doing this thing for eight hours, the four hours that you have before you really have to go to bed when you get home at night, you're not going to have the same kind of energy that you had at noon or at 10 a.m. | ||
| or whatever it was when you woke up or when you got to work. | ||
| What you're dealing with is this crossroads, right? | ||
| You've hit this path. | ||
| Where you can decide to either not take a chance and just slowly take little incremental steps towards what you really want to do or take a risk. | ||
| And when you take a risk, yeah, you don't have health insurance. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have dental. | ||
| That's what the risk is all about. | ||
| But that's the only way. | ||
| And people are like, yeah, but what if I fail? | ||
| But you can't think like that. | ||
| Because if you think like that, you're going to fail. | ||
| And second of all, yeah, you might. | ||
| But then you've got to do it again. | ||
| And if you continue to just fail and do it again, one day you'll figure out why you were failing, if you're paying attention, and if you're doing your work. | ||
| And then you'll find something that you can do that you're successful at. | ||
| If somebody wants to hire you, if you're good at your job, if you go to a place and you're valuable to that employer, you could be valuable to yourself. | ||
| You just got to figure out how to do it or what it is that you want to do that you could do without having a boss, something that feels natural, something that you gravitate towards. | ||
| When you get up in the morning and go, I'm fucking pumped. | ||
| I'm going to work for myself. | ||
| I want to do this. | ||
| And I'm going to do my thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's not a time where I ever come here to do a podcast where I go, fuck, I can't believe I have to do this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not a time. | ||
| That makes me feel good. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not today. | ||
| Not ever. | ||
| Never. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never. | |
| I mean, there's times where I leave and I was like, what the fuck was that about? | ||
| Yeah, I can imagine. | ||
| There's a couple. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In a thousand whatever podcasts I've done, there's only been like a small handful of those that have been like, what the fuck was that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you can do that, man, if you can find that thing that you love to do, whether it's making furniture or fucking painting or whatever it is, if you can make a living doing that, god damn! | ||
| That's everything. | ||
| It changes the world. | ||
| The world becomes a better place. | ||
| That's the goal, man. | ||
| So we'll see. | ||
| So, again, I took some cues from some inspiration from you when you left Boston. | ||
| You're like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to do this comedy thing. | ||
| I want to figure it out. | ||
| So what was that like for you? | ||
| So when did you make the determination to say, hey, you know what? | ||
| I work at this gig. | ||
| You know, this isn't the thing that I want to do. | ||
| And you made the jump. | ||
| What was that like? | ||
| The Boston thing was super lucky. | ||
| I was only 25 or less. | ||
| 24? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, 24. And I was doing stand-up and I was driving limos during the day and doing a bunch of different odd jobs and shit. | ||
| And then I got seen by a manager who was coming from New York to Boston to scout for new talent. | ||
| I just got dumb luck. | ||
| I wasn't even supposed to be on the show. | ||
| And he asked me to go to New York and do some spots in New York. | ||
| I did some spots there. | ||
| And then, next thing you know, I was living in New York. | ||
| I signed a contract with him, and I just packed up my shit. | ||
| And my grandparents were still living in New Jersey. | ||
| They live on North 9th Street, which is like... | ||
| When the time, when they first moved there, it was a pretty nice neighborhood, middle class. | ||
| But then as Newark has got kind of funky... | ||
| It's like Skid Row now. | ||
| Yeah, it's not... | ||
| Well, it's just... | ||
| It was the next door neighbor while I was living with him. | ||
| They broke down his house door because he was selling crack. | ||
| He had a dope Audi parked in his driveway and they smashed his door with a battering ram. | ||
| It was a legit sketchy neighborhood. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| I just packed up my shit and moved. | ||
| I didn't have any money. | ||
| I didn't know if it was going to work out at all, but I knew this was a chance. | ||
| But I was young. | ||
| When you're 24, you're like, whatever. | ||
| Health insurance, whatever. | ||
| I didn't have health insurance for a long time. | ||
| Do you have it now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| You got it? | ||
| When you quit this job, do you have it? | ||
| My wife has it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| So that was a scary thing. | ||
| I was just like, shit, hey, listen. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| She's like, go for it. | ||
| Ooh, I like it. | ||
| Good. | ||
| You got a good one. | ||
| Yeah, go for it. | ||
| She's like, yeah, go for it. | ||
| Because the tough thing is that it's, you know, I have my little shitty YouTube channel. | ||
| Yeah, but your YouTube channel is pretty big. | ||
| You're saying it's a shitty YouTube channel, but you've got a lot of views. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| I say that, but it's hard because I don't want to be... | ||
| You want to be a dick. | ||
| I don't want to be a dick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I have this massive following. | ||
| Well, how many subscribers do you have? | ||
| I think 400. That's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| 50,000 or something like that. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| Yeah, it's not bad. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| For a guy who fixes cars, rebuilds Teslas and shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's not bad, right? | ||
| And to think that I've amassed that kind of falling, only fixing really one car. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now, imagine if you put all your time into that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bingo. | |
| Bingo. | ||
| I'm hoping for. | ||
| And after this show. | ||
| I'm hoping for. | ||
| What's it called on YouTube? | ||
| Rich Rebuilds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Rich Rebuilds. | ||
| Subscribe. | ||
| See that little subscribe button? | ||
| Subscribe, yeah. | ||
| Put that. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| And it's great. | ||
| Your videos are really cool. | ||
| Oh, look, you're subscribing. | ||
| You subscribe? | ||
| Oh, look at the subscribe right now. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| That's a perfect shot of me, by the way. | ||
| The frozen photo. | ||
| But your videos are excellent. | ||
| You're really good at it, and you're really good at explaining things, and you have a good sense of humor when you're doing it, and it's interesting. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| It's interesting stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I try to be – it's funny because there's – I'm not a super genius. | ||
| There's other people building Teslas left and right. | ||
| Are there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is there a lot of other people that are getting involved in this? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Now there is. | ||
| They're getting more involved in it, and they're starting their own little channels and stuff. | ||
| But my thing is I want to be a little bit different. | ||
| I want to add some kind of humor and comedy to it to make it interesting. | ||
| Because quite frankly, not everyone thinks building a Tesla is really that funny or interesting or fun. | ||
| So adding a humorous spin to it makes it more interesting. | ||
| No, you're great at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when you look at any other kind of car, like if you buy a Chevy or if you buy even a Porsche or something like that, you can find these little mom-and-pop fix-it shops. | ||
| You can find them all over the place. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| All around, you know, you go to West Hills. | ||
| There's a bunch of places that fix cars. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Hey, there's something wrong with my transmission. | ||
| Can you look at it? | ||
| No problem. | ||
| They put it on a lift. | ||
| They go, oh, you got a leak here. | ||
| You got this. | ||
| You got that. | ||
| With a Tesla, you're on your own, son. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, man. | ||
| You either bring it to Tesla. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| Or nada. | ||
| And I get it from their point of view. | ||
| They don't want a bunch of people monkeying around with their shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But even like Mac... | ||
| Like, you can go to the Genius Store, which is gross. | ||
| The Genius Bar, yeah. | ||
| Whatever the fuck that name is. | ||
| That's gross. | ||
| Genius Bar, yeah. | ||
| Genius Bar. | ||
| Let me see your IQ test. | ||
| That's a bit pompous. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I met some of them people that are not geniuses. | ||
| I'm smarter than you. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| So, you can either go there, or you can go to these little mom and pop Mac stores. | ||
| Those do exist. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And they're not approved, but they can fix your computer. | ||
| They get shit done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, they get shit done. | ||
| So that's the goal for me. | ||
| So, you know, I'm starting my own shop. | ||
| I'm starting a shop called the Electrified Garage. | ||
| Ooh, I like it. | ||
| Not bad, huh? | ||
| That's a good name. | ||
| I got some swag for you, too. | ||
| And that's the biggest thing, is because there's no mom-and-pop shop to fix Teslas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, right now, it's the only game in town. | ||
| They're pumping out... | ||
| What, like 5,000 cars a week now? | ||
| Like 5,000 a week, right? | ||
| Which doesn't seem like much, but for a small company, it's insane. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| How many is that a day? | ||
| It's 30 days. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's like, what, 20,000 a month? | ||
| No, no, 5,000 a week. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's like 20,000 a month or so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| How about that? | ||
| 20,000 cars is a lot. | ||
| That's a lot of cars, right? | ||
| That's a lot of freaking cars. | ||
| Yeah, I think they're too busy. | ||
| So right now, you know, there's only two places to fix Tesla's in my state. | ||
| So when someone's like, hey, I want to get my car fixed, you call Tesla, they're like, yeah, it'll be about, you know, maybe a week. | ||
| I'll get you in like maybe two weeks. | ||
| Oh, you get you in in a week? | ||
| Yeah, get you in a week, maybe two weeks. | ||
| And then they got to order the parts. | ||
| Sometimes three weeks, sometimes a month. | ||
| Yeah, people wait months, man. | ||
| So that's the goal. | ||
| So I'm opening it up and it should be open probably another month or so. | ||
| And then we'll drive people there. | ||
| I have a fantasy of one day building a car. | ||
| What do you want to build? | ||
| A 69 Camaro. | ||
| I thought you had one. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| For some reason, but you have a whole bunch of cars. | ||
| I lose track sometimes. | ||
| I have a 65 Corvette, but I just... | ||
| Oh, no, you had a Barracuda. | ||
| Yeah, a 70 Barracuda. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I got rid of that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| It had problems. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, I had all the problems fixed, but it was more designed to look really good. | ||
| It looked really good. | ||
| It was a beautiful car. | ||
| But it wasn't my style. | ||
| I like a car like that little Corvette. | ||
| That thing drives like a modern car. | ||
| If you drive that thing, it handles. | ||
| It's got fuel injection. | ||
| It's a Georgia car. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| But it feels like... | ||
| It feels like a car that is not dangerous. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That Barracuda is like, anytime you want, and you stomp the gas, if you're taking a turn, the ass end would go totally sideways. | ||
| Which is kind of fun. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's so front heavy, like it had a giant ass engine, and it was a beautiful, beautiful car. | ||
| It also wasn't a stick shift, and that annoyed the fuck out of me. | ||
| Oh, it was automatic? | ||
| Yeah, it was automatic. | ||
| Sorry to hear that. | ||
| I know, it was ew. | ||
| But what was my point? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Oh, that I have a fantasy of building a car to spend the time and actually put it together. | ||
| Because I would imagine that the way you feel when you drive that Tesla is like this crazy feeling of satisfaction. | ||
| You made that thing. | ||
| Much like the way you feel if you hunt and you eat the steak from an animal that you shot yourself. | ||
| You're driving that car around. | ||
| You built that fucking thing. | ||
| It's all about the hunt. | ||
| Part of it's the hunt and the chase, though. | ||
| Because now that the car's built, I'm kind of like, alright, now what? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, after you hunt, after you, you know, you take that kill shot, you want to do it again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you want to hit something different. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You want to kill an elephant next time when I'm an elephant. | ||
| But, like, you know, definitely not an elephant. | ||
| I like elephants. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| That's one I don't get. | ||
| That one, I don't... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you even do? | |
| People kill elephants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you do with that? | |
| They eat them. | ||
| They eat them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the thing is, when they do kill them and the villagers get to eat the food, they get very excited about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Apparently elephants are delicious. | ||
| That's a lot of meat, man. | ||
| It's so much meat. | ||
| But that's the thing. | ||
| It's one thing that we don't want to ever think about when it comes to conservation, these animals. | ||
| But the money that a hunter would spend... | ||
| To kill an elephant goes towards making sure that the elephant population is healthy and pays for all these game wardens, or what they call PHs in Africa. | ||
| And then the money also goes to some of these villages, and then the food, the meat from the animal, goes to these villages. | ||
| But still, you're shooting a fucking elephant. | ||
| Yeah, I feel bad. | ||
| It's weird how you feel bad for killing an elephant, but other animals... | ||
| Like a rat. | ||
| Yeah, rackets hit by a car, you cheer. | ||
| You're like, yay! | ||
| You fucking loser. | ||
| Because I hit it myself, right. | ||
| Yeah, we're totally biased towards certain types of animals, for sure. | ||
| It's like why we, how do they say it, why we feed pigeons, but we shoot bald eagles. | ||
| It's majestic. | ||
| I know you want it. | ||
| Do you see that beluga whale that they caught that had a net? | ||
| It had a harness on it and they think that the Russians were using it. | ||
| Like, riding it? | ||
| No, they think they were using it as a bioweapon. | ||
| Like, they would strap a missile to this thing and then tell the whale to go to boats. | ||
| How do you tell a whale to go to a boat? | ||
| This whale was trained to go towards boats. | ||
| And it had this harness on it. | ||
| And they think that what they did was they trained this thing to go towards boats. | ||
| Choking the shit out of that thing. | ||
| Well, you could use something like that to hold a bomb. | ||
| So you would train it to go towards the boat, and then when it would hit the boat, it would detonate the bomb and explode. | ||
| So they must have given this whale some sort of food reward for banging into the boat. | ||
| Holy shit, that's sad, man. | ||
| Yeah, so they cut it free of this harness. | ||
| I mean, this is total speculation. | ||
| They don't know where the harness came from, but... | ||
| I'm hoping someone was trying to ride it and they weren't... | ||
| It's probably a bomb, though. | ||
| I'm pretty sure... | ||
| They're pretty sure it's a bomb. | ||
| I'm pretty sure... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Whale found off Norway coast believed to be spying from Russia. | ||
| Oh, maybe it had a bunch of cameras and stuff, too? | ||
| But that might just be click-baity bullshit, too, right? | ||
| Who wrote this article? | ||
| Are they an expert? | ||
| Are they a security expert? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do they just have a whale with a harness? | ||
| Right. | ||
| We don't really know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| Like, how often do whales and harnesses show up, the fact that you're an expert and can speak intelligently about it? | ||
| I think that the U.S. government read equipment of St. Petersburg on the strap. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, it's not good. | ||
| Yeah, but if I wanted to trick people into thinking that the Russians were involved... | ||
| I would make it super obvious. | ||
| I'd write that too. | ||
| Yeah, why would they write that? | ||
| So you've got to fake train a whale and then send it over and be like, look what they're doing. | ||
| Bro, you've got to look into it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Made in Russia by Russia. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would write Made in Russia on it. | ||
| It was all in English too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We didn't even use Russian letters. | ||
| Property of Mother Russia. | ||
| Love Russia. | ||
| I think the government did that with dolphins. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| The government trained dolphins for weapons. | ||
| 20 of them, something like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think the U.S. government did that. | ||
| They trained dolphins to blow up boats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, dude. | |
| What a place we live in, man. | ||
| What a place we live in, man. | ||
| We basically trained dolphins to be jihadists, but they didn't know it. | ||
| They didn't know they were jihadists. | ||
| At least the jihadist knows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, you tricked them into going for 72 virgins and blowing up. | ||
| You tricked them. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But the dolphin doesn't even know it's going to die. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| They probably would be like, what? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I get fish? | ||
| I love fish. | ||
| He just thinks he's going to get fish if he bumps into the boat. | ||
| What's this thing on my back? | ||
| Ah, whatever. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Poor things, man. | ||
| I never see it coming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This says it's a myth. | ||
| Oh, it's a myth. | ||
| What's a myth? | ||
| Well, that wouldn't be the first time. | ||
| The Navy trained 36 dolphins. | ||
| Disinformation. | ||
| Yeah, well, who says that? | ||
| The Navy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those stories are coming from like 2005. Is that true? | |
| Is that true? | ||
| Who wrote that? | ||
| But then in 2015, it says that the U.S. Navy's combat dolphins are serious military assets. | ||
| So maybe they just started it, stopped it, and started it back up. | ||
| They did it. | ||
| I don't get it, though. | ||
| So here's the thing. | ||
| Why are they sending dolphins? | ||
| Why don't they just build robots to do it? | ||
| Because the robots aren't as advanced. | ||
| As a wild dolphin? | ||
| They can't go through the water the way a dolphin can. | ||
| And it would look like a robot. | ||
| A dolphin, they're not going to do shit. | ||
| They're always in the water. | ||
| So if you can get something that's an organic part of the environment, and they're not going to kill every dolphin that comes near the boat. | ||
| So they see a dolphin, they think it's just a dolphin. | ||
| And then it... | ||
| Why don't they have a missile painted like a dolphin? | ||
| By the time they get it, it's like, oh shit. | ||
| Because it would be going too fast. | ||
| Ukrainian killer dolphins escape naval training base in search of love. | ||
| Yeah, this doesn't seem like it's accurate for some reason. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| They escaped during Hurricane Katrina. | ||
| They've escaped multiple times. | ||
| I don't know if we're just training more. | ||
| These dolphins keep escaping everything. | ||
| Wait, are dolphins smarter than us? | ||
| They keep escaping. | ||
| They're super smart. | ||
| How do we not keep a hold of these dolphins? | ||
| Not on the loose. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's very confusing when you look it up. | ||
| Ukrainian military dolphins not actually on the loose. | ||
| Who says that? | ||
| The Atlantic. | ||
| That's government. | ||
| G.gov. | ||
| Hey, you know what? | ||
| Speaking of dolphins, my fun dolphin fact is that dolphins are one of the few animals that have sex for pleasure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of the few. | ||
| Chimps, dolphins, people. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And dogs. | ||
| Well, dogs are trying to breed. | ||
| That's for fun? | ||
| No, I guess. | ||
| Well, they fuck your leg. | ||
| What are they trying to do? | ||
| I guess you're right. | ||
| That sounds... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are they trying to prove? | |
| That's a good point. | ||
| What are they trying to prove? | ||
| Alright, let me ask you this because you're all into technology. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| What do you think about aliens? | ||
| God, this doesn't seem tech-related at all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do they think they exist? | ||
| Do you think they've ever visited here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think they would have destroyed us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But when we visit primitive tribes, we don't destroy them necessarily. | ||
| Like, we try to leave them alone. | ||
| Do we try? | ||
| But we end up destroying them one way or the other anyways. | ||
| Well, there's a few. | ||
| Some people do, for sure. | ||
| Even when we try to be nice, it's like, yeah. | ||
| Look at that tribe. | ||
| Let's analyze them. | ||
| It's like a few photos. | ||
| Let's give them food. | ||
| And then they die, pretty much. | ||
| Yeah, there's always that image, a famous image of these tribespeople in Brazil, an uncontacted tribe, and they're painted, they're body paint, and then they have arrows drawn at the helicopter. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, now they know about helicopters. | ||
| Slowly but surely they're going to freak out. | ||
| Now it's the new sun god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now they worship a new religion. | ||
| See? | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| Can you imagine if you were an uncontacted tribe and all of a sudden a fucking helicopter shows up? | ||
| Whenever I see a helicopter show up, I freak out in general. | ||
| Yeah, in general. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, like, imagine a... | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Have you ever been in one helicopter? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So weird, right? | ||
| Right, it's weird. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Just flying around like, okay, we're in the sky. | ||
| The way it makes noise, absolutely. | ||
| But no, I think... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think they would have destroyed us. | ||
| They'd be like, these guys are stupid. | ||
| Don't you think they would want to watch... | ||
| Like, if you go to the zoo, right? | ||
| You go to the chimpanzee exhibit and you watch them swing around and shit. | ||
| People love to watch the chimps. | ||
| It's probably one of the most popular parts of the exhibit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we love watching them. | ||
| Like, oh, look at them, look at them. | ||
| And if you could go someplace where you could watch them in the wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if there was, like, a webcam where you could tune in to the Congo right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I would definitely do it. | ||
| How do we know they're not watching us right now, though? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| They probably are. | ||
| They probably are. | ||
| But wouldn't they just like watch and observe? | ||
| So we don't blow ourselves up. | ||
| So we would never know that in general. | ||
| They can live among us. | ||
| We wouldn't know. | ||
| I mean, I would imagine that if there was a civilization that's on the cusp of some major breakthrough as far as artificial intelligence goes, which is where we are. | ||
| In many ways, I think that we're all super fortunate to be alive right now. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because even though this is a time of incredible turmoil, it's also a time of amazing potential and change. | ||
| I'm greedy as hell though. | ||
| I want to see more. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| I want to see more. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I really want to see a robot uprising. | ||
| I'm dead serious about that. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| Don't ask for that. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And I want to be like 90-ish years old. | ||
| And I want there to be this super advanced AI robot just to take over and start shooting shit. | ||
| And I also want... | ||
| Because Elon Musk, he'll still be alive. | ||
| His head will be in a jar. | ||
| And he'll be like, I told you so! | ||
| I told you there's a robot hand! | ||
| I told you! | ||
| That's what I want to see because it's like Terminator shit. | ||
| I don't want to see that at all. | ||
| I want to see the aliens come in and stop us right when we're about to hit the green switch to turn on artificial intelligence. | ||
| I want the aliens to come down with their little legs and go, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They wouldn't listen to us. | ||
| The robot gave this guy a soda. | ||
| Boston Dynamic, yeah. | ||
| It's wrestling with him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to grab your dick like that. | ||
| I might like it. | ||
| You're going to be beaten off. | ||
| That thing's going to come in. | ||
| Let me help you. | ||
| But the thing is, what's stopping that from not wrapping around his neck and just crushing it? | ||
| There's nothing stopping it. | ||
| If you get hacked, think about the same people that helped you make your Tesla work. | ||
| They're going to hack into this fucking thing. | ||
| It's going to run right through your walls. | ||
| It's like Skynet. | ||
| It's going to eat your dog. | ||
| Have you seen the ones that flip? | ||
| They have them on trapezes like Cirque du Soleil. | ||
| Actually, have you seen the part where they actually beat the robots? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what my favorite part of that is? | ||
| What? | ||
| Well, they beat the robots to find out if the robots fall over. | ||
| They kick them and shit. | ||
| PETA released a statement saying it's not cool to kick robots. | ||
| Shut up, PETA. What are you getting involved in everything for? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not cool. | ||
| Wait, how about a robot coalition? | ||
| Should it be a robot coalition? | ||
| We stand with robots to say, listen, we built these things, but we can't hit them like that. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Here's the real question. | ||
| If you're 90 years old, and you're still lucid, but your body's failing, your knees are gone, and your hips bad, and your back hurts all the time, and your shoulders are all torn apart, you can't pick things up, and they say, Rich, we can download your consciousness. | ||
| Oh God, not this. | ||
| Into this artificial body that's like you if you were Anderson Silva when he was 30 years old. | ||
| That's like Black Mirror shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They give you the super powerful body. | ||
| You're going to feel it just like that, but now you're going to be like a super elite athlete. | ||
| And it's going to be you. | ||
| Or you can just go to black and see what happens in the afterlife. | ||
| Or you can just let this 90-year-old body die. | ||
| This is the silliest question ever. | ||
| Of course I would take it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Bird in the hand, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This afterlife might be bullshit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I can enjoy myself right now. | ||
| Wouldn't you do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| I actually want to do it right now. | ||
| I'm not even 90. I think that's how they're going to get us. | ||
| I think slowly but surely they're going to replace parts. | ||
| There's already amazing artificial hands that they're creating and limbs that are articulating limbs. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Would you want one of the limbs that looks like a human limb or would you want a robotic limb like in Terminator? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'd want a Terminator limb for sure. | ||
| Would you for sure? | ||
| I want everyone to stare at me. | ||
| But what if it was nice and soft? | ||
| Do you think we're close to RoboCop then? | ||
| Would that be maybe the first step? | ||
| Yeah, that's probably right. | ||
| They're probably going to do that with soldiers and shit. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| All the money's in the military. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exoskeletons. | |
| They'll drop 10 billion on that. | ||
| I met one of those robots. | ||
| I saw one of those at Pechanga Casino. | ||
| At the mall. | ||
| It's the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Real weird. | |
| I'll fuck that thing up. | ||
| You know, the one in the middle... | ||
| The one in the middle, I put my hat on it and it started freaking out. | ||
| Did it get mad at you? | ||
| Yeah, it just started spinning around in circles. | ||
| I wish it had a gun on it. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Then people would take it seriously. | ||
| Well, that's the worry about those dog things, those dog-like robots that they just put guns on those motherfuckers. | ||
| That is an episode of Black Mirror. | ||
| Remember that episode? | ||
| No, I didn't see that one. | ||
| Yeah, it's called Heavy Metal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's one of the best episodes. | ||
| Spoiler alert, this lady's running from these robots. | ||
| They have dogs on them? | ||
| It looks like a dog. | ||
| It looks like one of those things. | ||
| I've got to check that one out. | ||
| Yeah, and it has potential, like, actual real technology that it's using. | ||
| So, like, it's not outlandish. | ||
| Yeah, the thing is about Black Mirror, everything is, like, that could happen. | ||
| That could actually happen. | ||
| Yeah, even the whole thing where they implant memories and you live this crazy fake life, that's on the horizon. | ||
| So you know the interesting part about Black Mirror is that there's a pro and a con to everything. | ||
| So there was an episode where a woman wanted to keep better track of her daughter. | ||
| So she implanted that ship so she could see whatever her daughter sees. | ||
| Then her daughter got older and older and she started to see some wild shit that the kid was doing. | ||
| But then... | ||
| To your example, what would be the downside of putting my consciousness in someone with a jacked and ripped body? | ||
| Well, the downside would be, would you even really be a human anymore, or would you be some sort of a thing that we've created that keeps your brain alive? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But who cares? | ||
| Who does care? | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| Would you want to live a whole other life? | ||
| Like, how much time do you want in this fake body? | ||
| Do you want to be immortal? | ||
| Do you want to keep going forever? | ||
| Not forever, no. | ||
| At 200 years. | ||
| You know, there's an old story about that, about a guy, goddammit, it's like an old legend, about a man who kept killing his sons in order to live longer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that God came to him and told him if you kill his son, and he lived to be like thousands of years old, but he just had no one around him that cared about him and loved him. | ||
| Isn't that the story of Job in the Bible or something like that? | ||
| Ah, whatever, keep going. | ||
| Since from something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| But the point is, like, when you got to 200 years, if you said, okay, I'm going to take this body and I'm going to live in it for 200 years, but in 200 years, I'll be done, that's it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| 198 years comes along and you're still like a 30-year-old Anderson Silva. | ||
| I couldn't do it. | ||
| You're having a great time. | ||
| Right, that's a good point. | ||
| But you might be like super wise. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| If you think of how smart a person is, they keep their shit together and they become like a mature older man who's just wise and understands the way the world works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Someone who's well-read and really has taken the time to do the work on themselves personally. | ||
| They know themselves better than they did when they were a young foolish man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hopefully most of us as we get older. | ||
| But what if you could live the 300 years? | ||
| How wise would you be then? | ||
| My biggest concern isn't necessarily about being wise. | ||
| I think it's about my loved ones. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because you see a lot. | ||
| In 300 years, you see a lot of shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's like three wives. | ||
| Actually, maybe four or six. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But as they pass, you have your kids, and your kid will live to be 80 years old, and you're just like, hey, you know. | ||
| You got to get your kid a new body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want to go on forever, though, because I feel like, what's the world going to look like in 300 years? | ||
| Maybe it'd be dope. | ||
| Maybe it would be the shit. | ||
| Maybe it would be. | ||
| Maybe it would. | ||
| You know what I want to say? | ||
| You know, the most fascinating thing I keep thinking about is us going to Mars. | ||
| I know Elon Musk really wants that. | ||
| Do you want to go? | ||
| Would you go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Why? | ||
| Not interested. | ||
| It's a one-way trip, I know. | ||
| Look, I don't want to go to Antarctica. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Where the fuck would I want to go to Mars? | ||
| I don't want to go anywhere where people can't live. | ||
| We go to Utah in the woods and shoot deers and stuff. | ||
| People live there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's beautiful. | ||
| There's streams and trees. | ||
| It's gorgeous. | ||
| But you were just saying that you don't like when people come up to you at a restaurant and harass you. | ||
| So, like, you living alone is another thing. | ||
| I like being around people, though. | ||
| That's why I go to a restaurant. | ||
| I'm not, like, in a cave somewhere trying to eat. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, there's nothing wrong. | ||
| I feel like you would want to do that. | ||
| I feel like with all this manly shit that you do, like, men want to just go and just, like, light fires and caves and shit and just, like, beat up animals. | ||
| Dude, going to Mars is stupid. | ||
| You can't come back. | ||
| That's like going to the shittiest neighborhood in the known universe you can get to on a one-way ticket. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| Your name will live forever. | ||
| We'll live on it. | ||
| Well, that doesn't mean shit, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Assholes. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| You know who else's name lives forever? | ||
| Hitler. | ||
| He'll give some fuck. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| What are these? | ||
| Is this Elon Musk's space station on Mars? | ||
| Bro, that neighborhood sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like living in Barstow for the rest of your life. | ||
| What do you even see there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you get trapped in Barstow in a glass bubble, like halfway to Vegas. | ||
| Hey, remember Biosphere? | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yes, Pauly Shore. | ||
| No, but they did a real one. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| The actual Biosphere. | ||
| Paulie Shore and who else? | ||
| Stephen Baldwin. | ||
| Yeah, they did Biosphere. | ||
| That didn't go so well. | ||
| No, people went crazy. | ||
| Why don't we do that again? | ||
| People go crazy, man. | ||
| They don't want to be locked together with each other. | ||
| It's not normal for everybody to be just stuck in some bubble with each other. | ||
| It's been 25 years since Biosphere. | ||
| Since eight scientists sealed themselves in a Biosphere for two whole years. | ||
| What ended up happening to them? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| They probably went on a fuck rampage. | ||
| It took more than three months just to make pizza. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| They didn't bring a guy? | ||
| They probably had to grow the ingredients from scratch or something. | ||
| Oh, hell no! | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Oh yeah, they had to live, they had to be sustainable inside that little ecosystem. | ||
| Were they allowed to bang each other? | ||
| How could you forbid that? | ||
| How could you? | ||
| That's all people want to do in general. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's work. | |
| But it's work. | ||
| Work environment. | ||
| Harassment. | ||
| Yeah, I guess you're right. | ||
| Who's HR? Who's going to stop you? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Who is HR? So there's 25 people in there? | ||
| 25 scientists. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| Do you think that if people, if we didn't have laws, we're in a lawless society, no police, would we just kill each other? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Barbarians. | ||
| Because it didn't happen there. | ||
| Who was the law there in the biosphere? | ||
| I think most of the time we don't even... | ||
| What does this say, Jamie? | ||
| Nevertheless, the team completed the mission to merge you from the outside world after two years of solitude. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think most of the time you don't need the law. | ||
| But is that because we know the law exists and people have formulated society in the sense that you could always count on the law so that keeps people in check? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And it depends on where you live. | ||
| Like, if you live in a poverty-stricken, crime-ridden neighborhood, do you need the law there more, or do you need the law there less? | ||
| Is maybe people being arrested a lot causing some of the problems that you're seeing in that neighborhood, and there's some of those arrests because of non-violent drug offenses? | ||
| How much are you turning... | ||
| Because there is a certain percentage of people that get turned into criminals once they get introduced into the judicial system as a non-violent person who's just selling drugs. | ||
| It drives them towards that. | ||
| You're stuck in a fucking full penitentiary with criminals, like real criminals, like violent people. | ||
| And then you're just a guy who sells weed. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, how did I get here? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| What am I doing here? | ||
| That's real too. | ||
| This is why we need to analyze those isolated environments, those isolated ecosystems with people that's never seen anyone from the outside, see how they handle shit. | ||
| Well, they kill each other. | ||
| They kill people that don't pull their weight. | ||
| Should we do that? | ||
| Kill the weak. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| There's a great book, Sapiens, from Noah. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Yuval Harati. | ||
| It's a great book. | ||
| But it just outlines the history of the human race. | ||
| And these various tribes that have dealt with weird shit like that, there's certain tribes that when they see old ladies, Yeah. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Yeah, and this one guy was talking about, I think it was that book. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was Sapiens. | ||
| I read a bunch of books, or listened to, I should say, I don't want to lie, listened to them on tape, a bunch of them back-to-back on runs that were dealing with this very same issue. | ||
| And they were talking about this guy who was like, he killed a few of his aunts. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Yeah, and they were like, all the old ladies are scared of him because he was the guy that they hired to kill them when they weren't pulling their own weight. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But maybe that—is that a bad thing, though? | ||
| Because if you're part of— It's bad if you're that old lady. | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| If you're part of an older tribe—if you're part of a tribe, right? | ||
| And you guys have to keep moving and keeping things going because you're going to get killed by another tribe. | ||
| And then you have weaker members of that tribe that are holding the entire tribe back. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Do you risk—I mean, do you— That's the real question, right? | ||
| Would you put a bullet in— You know, your friend's mom, because she wasn't pulling her weight, and because that depends on the entire tribe itself. | ||
| She's throwing the whole tribe down. | ||
| See, that's the thing that you do when you don't have much, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you have surplus, like we have, we value our older people. | ||
| We want to care for them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have to live with us and stuff, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a famous video of these two comedians. | ||
| You've seen that video? | ||
| There's two comedians that find this lady who's trying to buy gas with pennies and shit, and they give her money, and she starts crying. | ||
| It's a tearjerker. | ||
| It's a serious tearjerker. | ||
| What happens in the video? | ||
| They give her money. | ||
| They buy gas? | ||
| Yeah, these two young guys get out and give this lady money, and she starts crying. | ||
| She's at a gas station? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, gas is like five bucks a gallon. | ||
| I'd cry too, probably. | ||
| She's paying with pennies and shit. | ||
| And so they give her some money and she's like weeping. | ||
| It's really... | ||
| Her husband died just a week ago. | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| Turn it off. | ||
| I'm going to start crying. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| I want to see you cry, Joe. | ||
| Hey, Joe, what was the last time you cried? | ||
| Not that long ago. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I cry for happy things. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't cry for sad stuff? | ||
| Not as much, man. | ||
| Like, if someone does something really amazing, I'll start crying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You saw my videos, you're like, oh, God. | ||
| I gotta get him in here! | ||
| Get this guy at the show! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When people do good things, I cry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tear up for shit like that. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not into dudes who cry about, like, stupid shit. | ||
| Yeah, like having too much money or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God, no. | |
| Shut up. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Shut up, man. | ||
| You know, if he'd cry, why is it always me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I ran out of gas. | |
| Well, that's what happens when you drive and it says, empty, you dumb fuck. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Should have bought an EV. When do you think it's going to happen that EVs are all electrical? | ||
| Like, with the solar. | ||
| Oh, not for a while, man. | ||
| Solar density is tough because... | ||
| You need a lot of panels. | ||
| But out here? | ||
| Yeah, true. | ||
| Well, out here, I think a lot of people are rocking it that way in two steps. | ||
| They get the solar from the roof or from the panels, and then it goes into the battery, and the battery, and then they charge it. | ||
| So a lot of people, what they do is they just, it's cheaper. | ||
| They just get a whole bunch of panels, and they reduce their electricity bill by not having, you need the battery pack itself to store the electricity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And a lot of the times people don't have a large enough battery pack in their homes to store that energy to charge their cars. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| A lot of people just have the panels to offset the price of electricity that feeds back into the grid. | ||
| But what I mean is the car itself. | ||
| Like Fisker had that for a while where their roof had a solar powered thing that was powering the radio. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a gimmicky kind of thing. | ||
| Is it gimmicky? | ||
| It kind of is because you're very limited in size, the amount of panels that you could put on the roof. | ||
| It's really only enough to, like, trickle charge, like, a couple things. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You need, like, a bigger array. | ||
| Or, like, heavy solar density. | ||
| And that's coming, but, like, there's not enough to really, like, power the car from it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| While you're driving. | ||
| Maybe there's an alternative way to gather the sun. | ||
| To gather the rays. | ||
| Because that would be the most amazing thing ever. | ||
| If we all had cars that were electric that just ran in the sun. | ||
| And there was no need for oil. | ||
| It's all done. | ||
| Yeah, I know, man. | ||
| Is that the Fisker, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So that solar array on the rooftop, I think it powers the radio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you only have so much room on the roof, and all it powers is the radio. | ||
| Imagine the motor. | ||
| Yeah, ridiculous. | ||
| The motor, it wouldn't even try it. | ||
| But that didn't even exist 20 years ago. | ||
| So who knows? | ||
| In the future, it seems like it could be possible. | ||
| You could figure out a way to make it efficient, especially out here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a ton of sun out here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That would be the most amazing thing ever. | ||
| Why is that woman laying on the roof? | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| She's trying to be hot, bro. | ||
| Trying to get some dick. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Trying to sell cars. | ||
| Yeah, what's up with the glasses? | ||
| She looks really pale, too. | ||
| She's gonna burst into frames. | ||
| Is that Cher? | ||
| That's Cher a little bit. | ||
| That's Cher's fetus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think that would be... | ||
| That would really be the future. | ||
| We had no reliance whatsoever on oil. | ||
| That'd be badass, man. | ||
| What do you think about... | ||
| Speaking of reliance, what do you think about people no longer relying on driving their own cars? | ||
| What do you think if everyone owned a Tesla, right? | ||
| What would that world look like? | ||
| Everyone put in autopilot when they went somewhere. | ||
| What would that look like? | ||
| Because you've used autopilot, but you keep your hand on the wheel because you're nervous. | ||
| I think one day it's going to be amazing. | ||
| But I think it's like... | ||
| If you bought Windows 95. If you bought a computer in 95 and you had Windows, it would crash all the time. | ||
| You get that blue screen to death. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It doesn't always work. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| But you can rely... | ||
| Like Windows 10 does not... | ||
| I've never had it crash. | ||
| Not once. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that that's what it's going to be like with a Tesla. | ||
| I think there's going to be a few crashes. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| If everyone's driving these things, there's going to be hiccups, errors, software problems, glitches. | ||
| Some people are just dumbasses, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then after a while, it's just going to work. | ||
| If you look at the... | ||
| We were talking about Windows or Android versus Apple. | ||
| The old Android was dog shit. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| But I have a new Note 9, a Galaxy Note 9. You're an Android guy? | ||
| No, I have both. | ||
| Both of everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like to fuck with shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I'm interested in your... | ||
| So, what do you use two phones for? | ||
| What do you need to... | ||
| Are you a drug dealer? | ||
| Work? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| One number I give to people who are squirrely. | ||
| Really? | ||
| A suspect? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, I have to... | ||
| You know, I'll turn it on every now and then and check text and go, Jesus, this fucking guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the other one... | ||
| So, what number would you give me? | ||
| I'll give you the real one. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| I'll give you the real one, bro. | ||
| I'll give you the iPhone. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| It comes up blue. | ||
| If you get a green text from me, you know you're on the squirrely list. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a good point. | ||
| Everyone text Joe right now and be like, hey, listen, what's this bubble showing up as? | ||
| I like the idea of supporting alternative platforms. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I appreciate Windows and I appreciate Android. | ||
| But I think that Apple has a better platform. | ||
| There's a better ecosystem. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I despise their lack of options with their laptops. | ||
| I despise it. | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| It's unfathomable how such an enormous company can have such shit things to type on when they cater to creative people. | ||
| Yeah, it's their way of the highway. | ||
| This is how it is, and that's kind of it. | ||
| But when I have one at home, I have a mechanical keyboard. | ||
| You like those things? | ||
| I love them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety. | |
| Do you customize yours at all? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Do you spec it out, make it all super sweet? | ||
| No, I use a Razer, one of those Razer ones. | ||
| It's a gaming one, but I use it for typing. | ||
| Why do you... | ||
| I've never used a mechanical keyboard. | ||
| As a tech guy, I'm embarrassed to admit I've never used one. | ||
| I just use the built-in laptop one. | ||
| What are the benefits from it? | ||
| I'm a feedback person. | ||
| I like tactile feedback. | ||
| I like to click. | ||
| I like to feel it. | ||
| And the same reason why I like a manual transmission. | ||
| Same reason why I like mechanical things. | ||
| Maybe you should get a phone that has buttons on it. | ||
| I should, bro. | ||
| Remember those T-Mobile sidekicks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like the flip phones and stuff like that. | ||
| Those are the shit, man. | ||
| I remember people had those. | ||
| I was jealous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about people that can still type with just the keypad when they have to do four presses to get an S? Yes. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there still rocking that. | ||
| But the old Nokia is like you press like three, eight times to get to the E and stuff like that. | ||
| Or playing Snake. | ||
| Remember that game Snake? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There's the sidekick. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Brought it back. | ||
| No, they didn't. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is that what this is? | ||
| What year is this? | ||
| They didn't bring that back. | ||
| This is coming back. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how popular it is. | ||
| Is this for sale right now? | ||
| What version of T-Mobile website is this? | ||
| There's no way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is from like 1996. T-Mobile still has sidekicks? | |
| Get sidekick support. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it is. | |
| It says 4G. So it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What do you think world we're living in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do whatever you want. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can get it. | |
| Who's going to buy that? | ||
| Joe, you should buy that. | ||
| Paris Hilton's got one. | ||
| It's got a pink key. | ||
| What's that pink key for? | ||
| Is that enter? | ||
| Go back in time. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Time warp. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| So that's like a Twitter feed that someone's looking at on their sidekick. | ||
| However, you know what? | ||
| I will admit, it was a struggle for me to go from the physical typing keyboard. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| It was hard. | ||
| I didn't want to let it go. | ||
| I was BlackBerry's bitch for a little while. | ||
| Longer than I should have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you have one now? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm going to draw something. | ||
| No, I gave up on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tommy Burns does. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Tom Segura is all about that BlackBerry. | ||
| He's bullshitting you. | ||
| Do you not know that? | ||
| It's a joke. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Those things exist? | ||
| No one uses a BlackBerry. | ||
| Well, they have the ones that have the physical keyboard attached to a big screen. | ||
| You've seen that? | ||
| Does it slide down? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, those are like all Android. | ||
| Those are all Android powered now, I think, right? | ||
| Yes, yeah. | ||
| All the blackboards are. | ||
| How about a Windows phone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That kind of faded into obscurity. | ||
| Do you remember the Matrix phone? | ||
| That they clicked it and the mouthpiece slid down and everyone was super pumped. | ||
| Like, oh, that looks badass. | ||
| Can't wait until that comes out. | ||
| No. | ||
| It never came out. | ||
| They made a couple of them just because people, they were like 5,000 bucks or something. | ||
| Windows phones, it's weird that that didn't take off. | ||
| A friend of mine had one of those. | ||
| I was like, look at you. | ||
| And they had those weird tiles. | ||
| Yeah, the tiles, like Windows 10. Right, exactly. | ||
| Those tiles are awkward. | ||
| They're still awkward to me. | ||
| They're uncomfortable. | ||
| This is not the way to do it. | ||
| So, if you have a Windows phone now, what are you doing? | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| They don't make them anymore. | ||
| You're not getting updates. | ||
| No, you're not getting shit. | ||
| They're just letting it die. | ||
| You're kind of just stuck in 1996. It's like 8-track. | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| It's a Matrix phone. | ||
| That same phone? | ||
| It was released last year. | ||
| Ooh, look at that guy. | ||
| He's so excited. | ||
| Oh, it's a slide? | ||
| Yeah, that's like the old school. | ||
| It had a slider phone. | ||
| You think you'd look cool or stupid with that thing? | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what are you doing, guy? | ||
| Get yourself a banana. | ||
| Get a real phone, you fucking dork. | ||
| But it does have the keypad where you have to do that shit. | ||
| Who wants to go back to doing that? | ||
| Assholes. | ||
| Some assholes like it. | ||
| T9 texting was pretty fast. | ||
| I feel like you're a cocky prick if you do that. | ||
| You shut your dirty mouth. | ||
| You shut your dirty mouth? | ||
| The T9? I forgot how to do it. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I never knew. | ||
| I never knew. | ||
| Wait, is that touchscreen as well? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I hope it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is just... | |
| It's like a mouse pad. | ||
| They gotta navigate with that stupid thing. | ||
| I hope this doesn't succeed. | ||
| It's probably got Snake on it, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Snake was the shit, right? | ||
| Remember Snake? | ||
| What is Snake? | ||
| Is that a game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Old, old, old game. | ||
| I have avoided games on my phone for a very specific reason. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because I have a problem with games. | ||
| Like you get hooked on it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have a badass gaming rig over there. | ||
| I saw that gaming rig. | ||
| The game room, the LAN, but that's all for first person shooters while we're here. | ||
| I cannot have a game that I love on my phone. | ||
| Why not have that? | ||
| Because I'm a child. | ||
| Yeah, you get obsessed with it? | ||
| Yeah, I don't have that kind of control. | ||
| If I have a fucking awesome game that's on my phone, that's my life. | ||
| My life's gone now because I've got that game on me everywhere I go. | ||
| What apps do you have on your phone? | ||
| What else keep you going? | ||
| I have a bunch of normal apps like Instagram and Twitter. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I have a bunch of cool ones like some Star Map shit. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| I've never looked for this, but I just found someone playing Quake on their phone. | ||
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| Oh, fuck! | ||
| Yeah, now Joe's going to get that. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Wait, what kind? | ||
| Is that an Xbox controller? | ||
| It's sort of like that. | ||
| It's a controller you can connect via this shit, but they have Quake 3 ported on there. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| See, why the fuck would you tell me that? | ||
| I've never looked before. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| It looks like it was two-dimensional, though. | ||
| Or not 2D, but didn't have an up and a down. | ||
| You have a new addiction now. | ||
| Congratulations on your new addiction. | ||
| I'm not going to do it. | ||
| I don't have anything on my phone. | ||
| I had chess on my phone for a little while, and I didn't even like that. | ||
| Because I started going, hmm, how do I get better at this? | ||
| I'm like, shut the fuck up! | ||
| Then I had to just shut it off. | ||
| I'm like, put that goddamn thing down. | ||
| So you have to pick and choose what you want to devote your time and energy to. | ||
| So what are your top three things that you put time and interest to that aren't your family right now? | ||
| Well, work stuff. | ||
| It's mostly work stuff or martial arts, right? | ||
| So it's like work stuff is stand-up, which is the most time-consuming because I have multiple sets a night. | ||
| And I'm always writing and always – tweaking and listening to recordings. | ||
| So how do you do your stand-up stuff? | ||
| So I want to get into... | ||
| I write shit. | ||
| You want to get into stand-up? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Well, I was kind of thinking about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do it. | |
| How do I get into stand-up comedy? | ||
| People watch my videos like, You're funny. | ||
| You should do stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, dude. | |
| Trust me. | ||
| I'm a professional. | ||
| You're a funny guy. | ||
| You could totally do it. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| All you have to do is go to an open mic night. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What I suggest, go to an open mic night and see how terrible everybody is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you'll be inspired to try. | ||
| You're going to be terrible, too. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I was terrible when I first started. | ||
| But you'll probably be better than most. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's all you need. | ||
| All you need is people... | ||
| If you say something, people are like, ha, ha. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just a little chuckle. | ||
| Just one guy in the front row. | ||
| And you go, okay, I got an ember. | ||
| I got an ember. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I can do this. | ||
| And then you'll figure it out, and you'll get better at it. | ||
| And you'll work at it, and you'll tweak it. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
| 36. You can do it. | ||
| You still have time. | ||
| You're still alive. | ||
| When's a cutoff date? | ||
| 40. Shit. | ||
| Kill yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| I don't mean that. | ||
| Don't listen to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're done. | |
| You'll never be anything. | ||
| Just jokes, folks. | ||
| Just jokes. | ||
| Just kidding. | ||
| JK, JK. But if you're a person who can make people laugh and you are willing to dedicate yourself to it, it's not like you have to have a certain amount of flexibility or a certain amount of physical strength. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, it's just, can you make people laugh? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Then you can do it. | ||
| Are you going to pull it off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's another question. | ||
| So how do you get inspiration? | ||
| So you sit down. | ||
| You're like, yeah, this is funny. | ||
| How do you get inspiration for that? | ||
| I think you have to be what I would call a professional. | ||
| And I've gotten this from Stephen Pressfield, who wrote The War of Art, which is a great book. | ||
| And I've also got it from reading Stephen King on writing and talking to a lot of different writers about how they handle things. | ||
| If you just waited to be inspired, and that's the only time you wrote... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not even close, written, not even close, half as much good material as you do if you decide I'm going to write. | ||
| So I sit down and I write. | ||
| And sometimes I don't know what the fuck to write about. | ||
| And I just start writing. | ||
| I just start rambling. | ||
| And a lot of the first 20 minutes might be total horseshit. | ||
| But then I got an idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about that? | |
| Well, why the fuck do we do that? | ||
| And then I'll start writing about that. | ||
| And then I'll make things up. | ||
| I'll make up a fact. | ||
| And then I'll argue against that fact. | ||
| And then maybe I'll find out what the real fact is and see if I can argue that way. | ||
| And then I'll... | ||
| And I'll give up. | ||
| I'll get to like 1700 words or something and then I'll shut the laptop and go, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| How do you know that you're not going to... | ||
| A common thing is when comedians steal jokes and material. | ||
| So when you're writing and you're like, yeah, I'm going to do this. | ||
| This is an awesome idea. | ||
| How do you know... | ||
| That that content already hasn't been discussed. | ||
| Well, you don't always. | ||
| You don't always. | ||
| You could absolutely write something and have parallel thinking. | ||
| Write something and not even know that someone's already written it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's a difference between that and stealing. | ||
| Like, you know, when someone's... | ||
| If you come up with – if you look at something, whatever it is, like say maybe your wife sends you to the grocery store to pick up some tampons. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it has the price things all fucked up. | ||
| And so the guy has to yell, price check on tampons. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| There has been like a hundred guys who've done bits on that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's not that they're stealing. | ||
| They probably didn't hear anybody do it, they thought it was funny, they thought it up themselves, and they did it. | ||
| Or maybe it even happened to them, and they did it. | ||
| That's parallel thinking. | ||
| It's a common one. | ||
| And then there's other people that did hear someone do it and they stole it. | ||
| That's a different thing. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| But you could get both of those things from that same subject. | ||
| That same really common, easy to think of subject. | ||
| There's a lot of those. | ||
| Cops and donuts. | ||
| There's a lot of things that are like a part of the lexicon. | ||
| They're a part of the way we talk. | ||
| They're a part of culture. | ||
| And you could think you thought them up, but you didn't. | ||
| It's almost like Seinfeld in a way. | ||
| That shit happens to everyone. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| But then there's stuff that's clearly yours. | ||
| Like, if you did a whole bit about how you built a Tesla. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you got paranoid. | ||
| That'd be a heavy hitter. | ||
| And you thought Elon Musk is plotting against you. | ||
| Kill it and crush it. | ||
| You could. | ||
| Maybe don't do that. | ||
| And that would be something that's wholly unique to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, how many fucking people have built a Tesla? | ||
| Is there even 20 on the earth? | ||
| I... At this point, yeah, probably. | ||
| Maybe 20. Let's pretend. | ||
| Let's pretend that out of a 7 billion plus population of human beings, maybe 20 people have done what you've done. | ||
| But doesn't it get old, though? | ||
| That one bit gets old. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You just talk about other things then. | ||
| Look, you could talk about anything that you find interesting. | ||
| Personal shit, technology, world events, worrying about the environment, you know, all this shit. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Yeah, did that whale really have a bomb strapped to it? | ||
| I keep thinking about that over and over again. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, and then if you... | ||
| Maybe it was like... | ||
| Someone from CNN that fucking hates the Russians and wanted to blame everything on the Russians. | ||
| Yeah, they got duped for two years saying that there was collusion and that Trump was going down and they colluded with Russia. | ||
| And then it turns out that the Mueller report doesn't really necessarily say that. | ||
| And then they're like, fuck, we've got to do something about these goddamn Russians. | ||
| So they hired this whale and they put a strap on him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That was a good story. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| So you write all this stuff down, right? | ||
| You write like 1,700 words, 2,000 words. | ||
| Out of that, I might get one line. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| So how do you memorize that stuff? | ||
| I write it down, and then I take it, and I extract it. | ||
| And a lot of it I put in notes on my phone. | ||
| On your iPhone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I like the iPhone is because when I write something in notes, They all show up automatically. | ||
| Oh yeah, it's all synced. | ||
| But I also have a thing called Evernote. | ||
| And so Evernote is my PC version of it. | ||
| So you do have apps. | ||
| So I transfer everything into both. | ||
| So one goes into Evernote and then one copy of it goes into Notes. | ||
| Sometimes not. | ||
| Like right now I'm a little behind on Evernote because I've been using just the Mac laptop for the last couple weeks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, so that's how I do it. | ||
| I go back and forth. | ||
| And you keep reading it and then you memorize it. | ||
| And then I write it out on paper. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The write it out on paper part is really more just to highlight it so I remember what the key points are. | ||
| I don't necessarily write it out in full. | ||
| I look at what I wrote out And then I say, okay, I know where I'm trying to go. | ||
| Let me just try to go there organically. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So this one time I did a speech in front of about maybe like 160 people or so. | ||
| I threw some jokes in there, which is actually pretty good. | ||
| You ever get that weird thing where you're explaining a story and you didn't even get to the joke yet and you start talking, people are already laughing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like, wait a minute, that wasn't supposed to be funny. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That was a terrible moment. | ||
| My friend died. | ||
| Why are you laughing? | ||
| It's one of those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Sometimes people see where it's going and they plan ahead and they start laughing like, oh my god, I know where this is going. | ||
| They see where you go, like, oh god, is this going, oh shit, where is this going? | ||
| They start laughing. | ||
| They start laughing there. | ||
| It's kind of one of those crazy things, but no, I think I I want to try it. | ||
| You should try it. | ||
| If you want to try it, you should try it. | ||
| The most terrifying thing is going up on stage and not getting a laugh. | ||
| Because I'm that same prick that's in the audience. | ||
| Like, wow, this guy's not funny at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Of course. | ||
| This guy's off the friggin' stage. | ||
| We are all that person. | ||
| Look, especially if you don't know the guy. | ||
| People love to talk shit. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Some guy goes up right in front of you and says some shit. | ||
| This guy's not funny. | ||
| This guy sucks. | ||
| You're on a date. | ||
| You're like, fuck this guy. | ||
| I could do that. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jeez. | |
| You... | ||
| You're going to have jokes that don't work, and then you're going to have jokes that work a lot better than you thought. | ||
| You're going to be like, wow. | ||
| But I can tell you're thinking about it, so you should do it. | ||
| But you're also thinking about it in terms of the right way to think about it, like that your setups are going to get laughs. | ||
| It's one of the weirder things about comedy is that it kind of comes to life on stage. | ||
| Right. | ||
| On the paper, all I'm doing is looking for seeds. | ||
| Like, I'm looking for points and seeds and things that make me chuckle while I'm writing it. | ||
| And then I'm taking it, and I'm like, okay, am I just fucked up, or is this going to be funny? | ||
| And then I try to bring it out on stage and water it in front of all these people. | ||
| But that's the only way to do it. | ||
| You have to really develop it in front of people. | ||
| Do you remember some of your old bits? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, they were terrible. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The earliest shit was awful. | ||
| You weren't there. | ||
| No, I wasn't there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Trust me. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| First time. | ||
| Stuff I've heard, like, recorded and stuff. | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| That was good stuff. | ||
| When I'm in my Tesla, I type in Comedy Stations. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| I type in Patrice O'Neill, and then you come up all the time in terms of your skits, Bill Burr's skits, and stuff like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Pretty good. | ||
| Patrice is one of the greatest of all time, for sure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He's Elephant in the Room. | ||
| That was the best thing ever. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| This day. | ||
| It's awesome, man. | ||
| There's a few guys you just wish you could get to that could just clean their health up. | ||
| I wish he was here today. | ||
| He'd have a lot of cool shit to say. | ||
| It would be so valuable. | ||
| I think all the time I sit around like, man, he'd have some cool shit to say about that. | ||
| The closest we have to him today is really Bill Burr in terms of ballsy stance against political correctness. | ||
| But he gets away with it in a way that other people can't get away with. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Yeah, it's sad, man. | ||
| Yeah, it sucks, man, because it was a diabetes thing. | ||
| It's like, fuck, man. | ||
| It's like, come on, man. | ||
| That could have been... | ||
| I didn't know him well enough. | ||
| I wasn't hanging out with him. | ||
| I was on the West Coast. | ||
| He was on the East Coast. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If I knew him, man, I would have tried to talk to him. | ||
| But I tried to talk to Ralphie May, too. | ||
| That didn't work. | ||
| People, they're on their path. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially comics is the thing about someone who's that free, like Patrice O'Neill. | ||
| Like, he really doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Not zero. | ||
| He didn't give a fuck. | ||
| That's what made him hilarious. | ||
| He didn't give a fuck what he said about anything. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck what he ate either, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just ate whatever the fuck he wanted. | ||
| Did whatever the fuck he wanted. | ||
| It was indulgent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That indulgent translated to brilliant comedy, but it also translated into him not taking care of his body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's unfortunate, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, my big question for you is, what do you... | ||
| You know you go to a party, right? | ||
| Everyone has that one thing that they can't stop talking about. | ||
| You have like, hey, I have a Tesla. | ||
| Hey, I do yoga. | ||
| Hey, I'm vegan. | ||
| What's your party trick? | ||
| I don't have one. | ||
| What's the one thing that you can't stop talking about? | ||
| I luckily don't have one because I don't really go to parties. | ||
| If I do go to parties, they're for my kids. | ||
| It's like birthday parties and shit. | ||
| Then you're just talking to parents. | ||
| And they usually want to ask me UFC questions. | ||
| Or they want to ask me about, what's Elon Musk like? | ||
| Or they want to ask me, when are you going to get Kanye on? | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| What's that weird thing feel like where you actually go out in public? | ||
| And you're actually amongst people and stuff. | ||
| What are the most frequently questions they ask you? | ||
| Those kind of questions. | ||
| MMA stuff? | ||
| MMA stuff is real common. | ||
| Comedy stuff is real common. | ||
| Podcast stuff. | ||
| Yeah, they ask you weird questions. | ||
| But the vast majority of people are cool. | ||
| The vast majority of people are like, hey, what's up? | ||
| Hey, what's going on, man? | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's all great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| If you put that out there, like what I put out there, I'm pretty nice. | ||
| That's what I try to put out there. | ||
| So that's what you get back. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So what's next now? | ||
| What's next for Joe Rogan? | ||
| Are you interviewing me, man? | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but yeah. | |
| You've turned this around. | ||
| See, I told you. | ||
| Turn the tables. | ||
| You're a natural. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're a natural for this. | ||
| So yeah, so what is... | ||
| There's no next. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, just do this. | |
| But the thing is, I'm trying to... | ||
| Legitimately, I'm telling you, there's no next. | ||
| Because you're a successful person, right? | ||
| I came in here. | ||
| You pulled up in a black Tesla. | ||
| It wasn't salvaged. | ||
| You didn't get it out of the ocean. | ||
| I want to learn from you. | ||
| I want to know the things that you do. | ||
| The thing is... | ||
| What I did is what you're doing right now. | ||
| I took my own path. | ||
| That's what you're doing right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, what your path is going to be, I assume you're going to be doing more YouTube videos. | ||
| I'm assuming your channel's going to grow. | ||
| And I'm assuming you're probably going to try stand-up comedy. | ||
| You're probably going to like it. | ||
| And you'll probably do a podcast, too. | ||
| Kind of cool. | ||
| Is that how you got into the podcast? | ||
| Look how easy you are at podcasts. | ||
| You've never even done one before. | ||
| People don't understand. | ||
| You're like, how do I put these headphones on? | ||
| What do I do with the mic? | ||
| Seriously, what's this black thing in front of me? | ||
| Meanwhile, you're doing this like a pro. | ||
| Yeah, I appreciate that. | ||
| Look, you're even interviewing me. | ||
| Yeah, I want to learn from you. | ||
| But see, that's how this comfortable, easy nature that you have totally translates into all these things we talked about. | ||
| Okay, that's good. | ||
| You can easily do a podcast. | ||
| You could easily do stand-up. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Well, stand-up's not as easy as a podcast. | ||
| Podcast is easier. | ||
| You ever have, like, a new stand-up person, you have to name your names, and they just suck, and you're just like, why is this guy, this guy shouldn't be? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, there's a few that you go, ooh, I gotta get out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't be around this. | ||
| You worry, it's contagious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you watch someone that's really bad, it's one thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Not everybody. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons thinks it's hilarious. | ||
| He loves watching shitty comedians. | ||
| But if I watch someone who's bombing, I've got to get the fuck out of the room because I start thinking there's nothing that's funny. | ||
| Things that are funny don't exist. | ||
| Because certain people, if you go to open mic nights, there are certain people that are just insane. | ||
| Do you still go to open mic nights? | ||
| Yeah, I'll stop by. | ||
| If I'm in the neighborhood, and if I know, I want to peek in once a year and watch a little bit. | ||
| Because it's... | ||
| I want to remember. | ||
| What it was like. | ||
| That's where you started, man. | ||
| It's the fucking wanting to get on stage and seeing the list of people. | ||
| And in the open mic night at the Comedy Store in particular, the room is well lit. | ||
| Because they have all the, there's these signatures on the wall of like Robin Williams and famous comedians and Sam Kinison. | ||
| And those are all neon. | ||
| So that when the comedians are on stage during open mic night, all that neon is on, and the room is kind of fairly well lit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then at the end of the stand-up, they're like, okay, no more open mic night, boom. | ||
| Those lights go off, the room gets dark, and then the pros go up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And then you see this marked difference in skill and quality of material. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you see, like, real professionals, you know, like Chris D'Aleel, Bill Burr, Chappelle stops in all the time on open mic nights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're no joke, man. | ||
| Chappelle will just show up at 11 p.m. | ||
| on a random open mic night and go up. | ||
| So you get both things. | ||
| You get to see people that have no idea what the fuck they're doing. | ||
| You get to see people that have potential. | ||
| You get to see crazy people that are just insane. | ||
| And then you get to see world-class comedians in the same night. | ||
| It's a cool experience at the Comedy Store, like Monday nights. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Check that out. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It used to be Sunday and Monday. | ||
| But then this place started getting too successful. | ||
| And they cut back on the Sunday night open mic night. | ||
| It sucks, man. | ||
| It does suck a little bit. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you live in a good spot because you're in Boston, and that's like one of the best spots in the world for starting out. | ||
| I think I have to try it. | ||
| It's weird because I feel weird because I have a following, and it's like, hey, listen, check me out for comedy. | ||
| It's like a weird thing. | ||
| No, they would like it, man. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| If I'm a fan of your videos, and I am a fan of your videos, so if I was a fan of your videos and I wanted to go see you live at a club, hey, Rich is going to be at this place. | ||
| Oh, shit, what time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eight o'clock. | |
| Okay, let's go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, oh, you think it's gonna be funny? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It seems kind of funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For people to get a chance to see you the first time you ever go on stage, too. | ||
| And just be prepared to eat shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you do eat shit, have some stuff to say about eating shit. | ||
| How do I know I ate shit? | ||
| You'll feel it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oof. | |
| Tastes like shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'll be like... | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely shit. | ||
| Thanks for everyone. | ||
| Have a good night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, I encourage everyone who thinks they could do it to do it because there's not enough of us and there's only, you know... | ||
| Is it a dying breed? | ||
| Is comedy a dying breed? | ||
| No, I think it's actually on the up right now. | ||
| I think it's on the upswing quite a bit because I think there's more avenues. | ||
| There's more clubs to go to. | ||
| Comedy is more popular than ever. | ||
| Like, if you go to the Comedy Store tonight, it's sold out. | ||
| I have a show at the Improv tonight. | ||
| That's sold out. | ||
| The places are packed. | ||
| You have a show tonight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're here with me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always. | |
| What? | ||
| I work almost every night, except Sunday and Monday. | ||
| How much do you sleep? | ||
| I sleep a good solid seven hours a day. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is it hard? | ||
| It's hard to believe. | ||
| I feel like I never sleep. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| You don't? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got to. | |
| You know what? | ||
| You're a health guy. | ||
| How do I get better sleep at night? | ||
| Melatonin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Take some melatonin. | ||
| I can't keep doing that, though, forever, can I? It's not bad for you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or, sauna's good. | ||
| Getting a sauna before you go to bed, it'll make you feel good. | ||
| But I have to have a sauna. | ||
| Yeah, that's a problem. | ||
| You can get one of them sauna suits. | ||
| You ever seen one of those things? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like a sleeping bag. | ||
| Like an infrared suit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they make those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I just go in like a, it's like a water bed, but it's like a bag that I kind of sit in? | ||
| Like a bag, but it's like a bag of water? | ||
| It heats up. | ||
| It's like kind of heavy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it heats up and it's like infrared. | ||
| It cooks your body. | ||
| I think I'll be too scared of, you know, like a turkey when I get out of that thing. | ||
| I think I don't feel that bad. | ||
| It's not that bad, but it's really good. | ||
| It makes you feel good when you get out of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people, it helps them sleep. | ||
| You have that chamber here that's like a water. | ||
| Sensory deprivation. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's an isolation tank. | ||
| I've heard of it, but what is it? | ||
| You float. | ||
| The water has 1,000 pounds of Epsom salts. | ||
| So as you lie down in that salty water, your body floats. | ||
| Half of your body is above the water, half is under the water. | ||
| So your ears are underwater, but everything above your ear is forward on your face. | ||
| It's just your face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the water's heated to 94 degrees, which is the same temperature as the surface of your skin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you shut the door, and you're in total silence and total darkness. | ||
| You can't see anything. | ||
| You open your eyes, total blackness. | ||
| That sounds terrifying. | ||
| It's not, because you can just open the door anytime you want. | ||
| A lot of people think that. | ||
| Like, they get claustrophobic. | ||
| It feels wonderful. | ||
| It feels like, first of all, it feels like you're flying. | ||
| So you lean your arms back, and once you kind of bump into the walls a little bit, you've got to center yourself. | ||
| And once you center yourself, and then the water stops rippling. | ||
| Then you just let your arms relax and you just float and it feels like you're flying. | ||
| Can you fall asleep and die? | ||
| My biggest concern right now. | ||
| No! | ||
| It's only 11 inches of water and you're floating. | ||
| You can't drown. | ||
| Unless you flip over face first and you start breathing the water in until you stop. | ||
| You can just sit up and you're fine. | ||
| There's no way to drown in it. | ||
| No one dies. | ||
| You're fine. | ||
| You don't have to worry about that. | ||
| And you're floating. | ||
| It feels great, man. | ||
| It feels great and it's very relaxing. | ||
| So the concentration of salt is what keeps you afloat. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's a thousand pounds of Epsom salts in that tank. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's real good for your skin, too. | ||
| I found out about it first through the movie Altered States. | ||
| I'd heard about it. | ||
| It was a movie that was based loosely, very, very loosely, on the legend of this guy named John Lilly. | ||
| John Lilly is the guy who created this sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| Do you know who he is? | ||
| No, I do not. | ||
| Well, he also was a pioneer in interspecies communication with dolphins. | ||
| Yeah, he was a scientist. | ||
| It all comes back to dolphins, doesn't it? | ||
| For this guy. | ||
| He gave dolphins acid. | ||
| He was a part of LSD. Who allows you to do that? | ||
| Who says you can do that? | ||
| In the 50s and 60s, you can do whatever the fuck you wanted. | ||
| They give people acid, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, they actually shut his program down because the woman that he had, he had this woman who was living with a dolphin, and she essentially, half of her apartment was underwater. | ||
| Like, her house was half submerged, so the dolphin would come in and out of the house and sleep with her and then go into a tank. | ||
| It was like her husband or something? | ||
| That was the problem. | ||
| She was jerking the dolphin off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Because the dolphin, like, would be distracted all the time. | ||
| Yeah, but the dolphin stayed. | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| It got jerked off all the time. | ||
| So they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| We're paying for what? | ||
| They were trying to teach the dolphin a talk. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So they were trying to teach the dolphin English words. | ||
| But the problem was dolphins don't have lips. | ||
| They can't make the sounds. | ||
| Yeah, their vocal cords can't make the sounds what we do. | ||
| So they were trying to get it to go, holla! | ||
| A lot of work for this a lot of work for hello But it was really obvious that they have some sort of language right and so Lily who is obsessed with it He would set up a sensory deprivation tank right outside the dolphin tank and take acid and Give acid to the dolphins and he was trying to communicate with them. | ||
| He was trying to communicate with them like in some sort of a Like neighboring dimension, right? | ||
| He was a trip. | ||
| I mean that guy he would take intramuscular ketamine and Shoot it into his meat of his body and then lie in the tank and have these crazy ketamine trips while he's in the tank. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, I don't know because I've never experienced ketamine. | ||
| But apparently there's something about that particular drug that lends itself very well to the sensory deprivation experience. | ||
| At least for Lily. | ||
| It's very addictive too. | ||
| Then you bought the tank. | ||
| Well, I heard about that. | ||
| And then I read a book called The Deep Self. | ||
| And that was a book that Lily wrote about... | ||
| I think that one even had instruction on how to build a tank. | ||
| He actually had set up all these plans for how you... | ||
| Like a blueprint for how to build your own tank. | ||
| Use waterbed liners. | ||
| It's probably pretty easy, right? | ||
| Get a kiddie pool, throw a liner in it. | ||
| A bunch of people have done it. | ||
| A bunch of people have done it. | ||
| Yeah, you can do it, but you really need... | ||
| Is there a filter at all? | ||
| Probably not, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Very heavy-duty filtration system. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because the one that I have is, it's a company called the Float Lab, and the Float Lab is, like, the best, they make the best tanks. | ||
| And the guy who makes it is my friend Crash, and he's, like, a super scientist dude who's, like, a mad genius when it comes to tanks. | ||
| He's, like, over-engineering everything and making everything, like, as complicated as he can. | ||
| I didn't realize so much went into it, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'll show you the whole system. | ||
| It's like all that stuff that's in the back of it is essentially from a public water purification system. | ||
| It's super heavy-duty purification. | ||
| And it even pumps ozone into the water. | ||
| Oh, no shit. | ||
| So what do you do when, so let's just say someone were to go in there, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just had a fight, whatever. | ||
| You want to relax. | ||
| You go in there. | ||
| When the person comes out, does the water change or is it just a filtered system? | ||
| It's the same water. | ||
| The water is being filtered. | ||
| But nobody – the only people that have been in that thing are Dan Harris from Good Morning America and me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's the only one that ever took me up on the offer to climb in there. | ||
| Most guys go, yeah, yeah, I'll go in there. | ||
| And then they go, oh, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| That's basically what I did. | ||
| You're like, you should go in. | ||
| I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Love you, buddy. | ||
| Take all your clothes off and climb into my little tank. | ||
| Literally, yeah. | ||
| I was stripped naked, Rich. | ||
| Oh, there's definitely no cameras there. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| How do I know that? | ||
| Get that out of your head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| But I bet, I guarantee you, Boston. | ||
| But Google sensory deprivation tanks in Boston. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| Oh, it's like a public service thing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of places where you go and you rent them and it's like, you know, 50 bucks for an hour or something like that. | ||
| That's not bad at all. | ||
| It's worth it, man. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Float. | ||
| Restoration therapy. | ||
| Where's it at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Float Boston. | |
| I emerge more relaxed than I ever could. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| $80 for 90 minutes. | ||
| It's in Somerville. | ||
| On Medford Street in Somerville. | ||
| There you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pa-pow. | |
| What if I come out and someone steals my clothes? | ||
| $80 for 90 minutes. | ||
| I thought it was a risk, right? | ||
| Well, I hope not. | ||
| I hope nobody steals your clothes. | ||
| Usually, like, you're in a room and you get to lock it. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| It looks so crazy. | ||
| Do kids do it, too? | ||
| Is a kid in there? | ||
| My kids are scared of it, but, yeah, they could do it. | ||
| That's where, like, they draw the line with Daddy. | ||
| They're not interested in floating. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They'll eat bear meat, but they won't float. | ||
| They won't float? | ||
| Too weird. | ||
| It feels great, man. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| And it's also a great way for your body to absorb magnesium. | ||
| Because, you know, Epsom salt baths are great when you have sore muscles. | ||
| Well, when you get into this, this is so much Epsom salt. | ||
| You float in it, and your muscles loosen up, and it kind of like... | ||
| Like, all little impingements and tight areas. | ||
| Oh, that's a tank. | ||
| Loosen up. | ||
| Yeah, that's one. | ||
| It's a little pod. | ||
| Yours looks like a safe. | ||
| Yeah, it's much bigger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, this is a... | ||
| Is there a two-person tank? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you want to go... | |
| You can't go with another person, right? | ||
| No, that would be annoying. | ||
| If your wife wanted to go, come on, what should we talk about? | ||
| We're talking about nothing! | ||
| Yeah, get away from me. | ||
| We're not here to talk! | ||
| That's why I'm here, not to talk to you. | ||
| Okay, before we go into the next dimension, I have to know about the curtains. | ||
| I have six questions. | ||
| I want to buy these curtains. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Samadhi's new lily pad. | ||
| A float tank that hides in a daybed. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Samadhi is the company that I bought my first tank from. | ||
| They make great stuff. | ||
| So that is... | ||
| That looks terrifying, though. | ||
| What if someone's sitting on it and you can't get out? | ||
| Oh, that's true. | ||
| Like, hey, really, can you get off this thing? | ||
| I really want to get out of here. | ||
| I'm getting scared. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like a fat dude gets drunk and falls asleep on the lid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you run out of air. | ||
| Like, fuck! | ||
| Wait, you can't run out of air. | ||
| There's no air, bro. | ||
| There's no air in there. | ||
| What? | ||
| So eventually you could. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| They pump air in there. | ||
| Don't do this to me. | ||
| There's actually a variable speed fan in the one that I have that pumps in oxygen. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Purified air. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it purifies the air and pumps it in there. | ||
| So not everyone's is that safe, though. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like a sealed system. | ||
| That one right there, the daybed one, could be a real issue if you had said drunk fat guy. | ||
| Yeah, Rich, you have 37 minutes of air left. | ||
| Yeah, it's like an escape room. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| I think I'm in space or something. | ||
| It has lights on it. | ||
| What, Jamie? | ||
| This is what yours looks like, but it has lights. | ||
| Oh, that's badass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Similar. | |
| That's what yours looks like? | ||
| Sorta. | ||
| Sorta not. | ||
| Similar. | ||
| Fiyo's is like black. | ||
| It's like, whoa. | ||
| Mine is the state of the art. | ||
| You have lights inside of yours? | ||
| No, there's no lights. | ||
| I don't need lights, bro. | ||
| I know what I'm doing. | ||
| I had one of these in 2002, so I've had one forever. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| We should all love them. | ||
| I think they're one of the best tools ever for thinking. | ||
| What else is a good thinking tool? | ||
| Marijuana. | ||
| Yeah, I heard you like marijuana. | ||
| Yeah, do you? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I have an interesting thing for you. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| A couple things. | ||
| So, because I'm on a budget, I lit my job and everything. | ||
| I stayed at a hostel. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| I'm doing some broke people shit, right? | ||
| You ever stay at a hostel? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| No, I've never stayed at a hostel. | ||
| So in case you don't know what a hostel is, which everyone listening to knows what a hostel is, it's I shared a room with three other people at bunk beds, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So Massachusetts just said, "Hey, listen, we're going to allow marijuana," but it's still kind of like a taboo thing, right? | ||
| They don't want it getting too widespread. | ||
| So when I came here to the hostel, I walked in and there's a giant bag of marijuana on And I was like, I'm sorry, is someone selling this? | ||
| Is this? | ||
| Like, no, it's for you, man. | ||
| Like, we welcome all our guests like this. | ||
| You can have as much as you want. | ||
| I was like, where am I right now? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy shit, man. | ||
| Dude, I did B-Real's smoke box the other day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I'm just starting to be not high. | ||
| Really? | ||
| From that. | ||
| From the other day. | ||
| Is it out? | ||
| I don't know if he's released it yet. | ||
| Anyway, they gave me a bag of weed that every time I open up the trunk of my Tesla, it's like, whoa! | ||
| Went over a skunk? | ||
| I'm not very familiar with smoking marijuana. | ||
| I think I've done it like once. | ||
| You work for the government? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So I did it like once. | ||
| And I try to be cool. | ||
| Like, yeah, you smoke, right? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Who doesn't, right, man? | ||
| So they offered me this big bag of weed, and I was, like, terrified. | ||
| You should be. | ||
| Because the thing is, like, if I try it, I want to be where I'm somewhere safe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not going to do... | |
| I mean, it's only marijuana. | ||
| It's not like, you know... | ||
| But you don't want to freak out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That could happen. | ||
| And you should only take a little. | ||
| Like, if you're going to... | ||
| This is what you do. | ||
| You go like this, like this, like... | ||
| Just a little. | ||
| Just a touch. | ||
| There's the smoke box. | ||
| First of all, be real, smoked me in a coma. | ||
| I quit maybe five minutes into the smoke box. | ||
| I was like, what in the fuck am I doing? | ||
| We got high before we got into the smoke box, too. | ||
| There's like levels of stoners. | ||
| So smoke boxes, were you in a car? | ||
| It was like a dedicated system. | ||
| That's the car. | ||
| It's an old Cadillac. | ||
| Look how barbecued I am. | ||
| I can't even keep my eyes open. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, that's you? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like, I can't believe he's still smoking. | ||
| He doesn't even look like you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| I'm so high, I'm in another dimension. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| It looks like your freaking great-grandfather or something. | ||
| Oh, look at me. | ||
| That's weird lighting. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| What Be Real does is he gets you in that car, and then everybody has a fat tube, like a big giant joint of the most ridiculous weed on the planet Earth. | ||
| There's none stronger. | ||
| So I don't understand. | ||
| What's the point of having a joint? | ||
| Just go in the car and get high that way? | ||
| Everybody's so hot. | ||
| You can't breathe. | ||
| There's no air in there. | ||
| When I got out of there, my inside of my mouth was cooked. | ||
| If he's never smoked weed, he doesn't understand the hotbox concept. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| This is all new to me. | ||
| All that smoke, you're breathing in, right? | ||
| So you're smoking it, so you're getting high from that. | ||
| And then you're breathing in other people's smoke. | ||
| You're getting extra high. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| There's no air. | ||
| So why not just go in there and just be like, hey, you know what? | ||
| I'm just going to sit in here for five minutes and get high and then get out. | ||
| You'd get high from that. | ||
| I probably wouldn't get really high from that. | ||
| I probably would feel it. | ||
| Do you smoke every day? | ||
| No. | ||
| Every other day? | ||
| No. | ||
| Sundays only? | ||
| No. | ||
| But I've been taking this stuff every day. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a DMT? This is CBD with THC. It's 10 milligrams of THC and 10 milligrams of CBD. So it's not a lot of THC, but it's enough. | ||
| So you just put those pills in your coffee or something? | ||
| No, just swallow it. | ||
| It's like a little gel cap. | ||
| Well, isn't that not fun because you're not smoking it? | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| It's like a fish oil pill. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But it's CBD oil with THC. It's a hemp oil. | ||
| So you just pop it in. | ||
| Yeah, just swallow it. | ||
| No, I take that back. | ||
| I did have marijuana chocolate. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| Yeah, this was like last year. | ||
| How'd it go? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| It was like nothing. | ||
| I probably didn't take enough. | ||
| My friend's like, he didn't take enough. | ||
| So I had it. | ||
| Oh, that's the worst. | ||
| An hour later, this is dumb. | ||
| I just sat there, got a little high. | ||
| And I was just like, eh, wore off and went to sleep and it was fine. | ||
| I didn't take enough. | ||
| Yeah, you definitely didn't take enough. | ||
| I was worried the other way. | ||
| Yeah, I take too much. | ||
| This is dumb to have like five more pieces of chocolate. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's what people do. | ||
| The worst thing that anybody could ever say when they eat pot is, man, I don't feel shit. | ||
| This is dumb. | ||
| And then they take another one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it kicks in. | ||
| And then it gets in your DNA. And you're like, oh no. | ||
| Then your kids are high. | ||
| And then you're on a ride. | ||
| You're on a ride for like hours. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I have a friend who ate too many edibles and he was high for 27 or 28 hours. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| A full day later he was still high and it took like four hours after that. | ||
| What is this guy doing? | ||
| What is this guy doing? | ||
| He's a leaf blower? | ||
| What is that doing? | ||
| He's making a giant hotbox out of his tent, but I was just showing you the biggest idea of what it gets and why you would want to do that. | ||
| See, some stoners like that girl right there, they just get too high. | ||
| Like me, when I was in the hotbox. | ||
| So what's too high? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not good for you. | |
| What can you not do? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| You can't do anything. | ||
| You're not even good at talking. | ||
| So is it like getting drunk? | ||
| No! | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You get paranoid. | ||
| You get freaked out. | ||
| You think about people you fingered in high school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| You start... | ||
| You fucking, you comb over everything you've ever done ever that might be even remotely questionable. | ||
| So why would you want to get high then? | ||
| Well, I think there's a lot of, first of all, that's too high. | ||
| That's like paranoia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think it gives you like a self-examination that I think is probably critical for people to just examine. | ||
| Like maybe you would be thinking about your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it puts you in the zone. | ||
| Like, if you got high and you started thinking about this job you're quitting, like, why the fuck would I stay with this job? | ||
| God, I could be here forever. | ||
| You can start getting paranoid and think about what it's going to be like if I'm 60 years old, I'm still here, and I wish I took a chance, but now it's too late, and I'm tired, and I don't have the energy to do it anymore. | ||
| Or I left, and now I'm on skid row. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| What'd I do? | ||
| I don't think like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you think very positively. | ||
| Yeah, I think if negative shit happens, like, you should be aware that it can, but to dwell on it, I think, is not empowering at all. | ||
| I think what's empowering is, like, if you were a person who was 90 years old and you lived a boring-ass, stupid life working at a shitty job, but then someone gave you a chance and said, How would you like to be... | ||
| You say you're 36? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How would you like to be 36 again? | ||
| With vitality and youth and energy and ambition. | ||
| And you've already got something going on. | ||
| You've already got a YouTube channel with like 450,000 subscribers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| What would you think... | ||
| What would you be willing to do to try again? | ||
| Anything. | ||
| You say anything. | ||
| I want to live a fulfilled life, a life that I enjoy. | ||
| Well, that's you right now. | ||
| So that's how I look at things. | ||
| I look at things like, what would I like to be? | ||
| If I was someone who was broken down and beaten by life and exhausted and I never took any chances, what would I do now? | ||
| I would say, if I could be that guy that is willing to just try, to just take risks and carve a path for yourself, I would want to be that guy. | ||
| I would want to live a fulfilled life. | ||
| Be your future self. | ||
| Fucking anybody could do that, man. | ||
| Anybody could do that. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| Cost prohibitive. | ||
| It's dangerous, there's risks, but that's why it's good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you knew you could, like if you ever play a video game in god mode and just run around shooting everything and you can't die, it's boring. | ||
| That's dumb. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| What's exciting is you could die. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Dying is exciting. | ||
| Just like real life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's exciting is risk. | ||
| You don't want to be that guy who's just barely alive, but alive. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| He's getting by. | ||
| He's existing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want to exist. | ||
| You're going to live, man. | ||
| So, we worked it out. | ||
| You're going to do stand-up? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm going to go hand-gliding. | ||
| I want to go hand-gliding. | ||
| All I want to do right now is just smoke marijuana and then go hand-gliding. | ||
| Hand-gliding is how one of the greatest jiu-jitsu artists of all time holds Gracie. | ||
| That's how he died. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He's one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| But I'm not uplifted anymore, Joe. | ||
| You told me about this uplifting thing and dying. | ||
| What the hell is going on here? | ||
| There's no reward. | ||
| If you land, oh great, you're still alive. | ||
| There's no reward. | ||
| Well, you got to almost die flying around. | ||
| But now I'm confused. | ||
| Dude, slam into a cliff, bro. | ||
| But wait a minute, but you just said that it's an exciting thing. | ||
| You could almost die. | ||
| If you quit your job and then you take a path that you may or may not succeed on, if you do succeed, you're going to feel invigorated. | ||
| You took a chance and you won. | ||
| It's like an adrenaline rush in a way. | ||
| I saw this, right? | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Is this a mishap? | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Just watch for a second. | ||
| See what you think is wrong here in the first 10 seconds. | ||
| I can't show this to everybody. | ||
| Online people know what's up. | ||
| Oh my god, he's not attached. | ||
| I'll just wait. | ||
| Who's in charge here? | ||
| The guy in the blue. | ||
| He's the leader guy. | ||
| And good luck here. | ||
| Oh, crap. | ||
| They are flying, and he is holding on tight. | ||
| By her neck. | ||
| And they are very high. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And they're going higher. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Just to be clear, this is a very... | ||
| This lasts four minutes. | ||
| This is like a... | ||
| This lasts four minutes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| First of all... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Turn around. | ||
| Do you know how... | ||
| Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold on... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| For two minutes. | ||
| For four minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even two minutes is hard. | ||
| How did this guy do this? | ||
| How did he manage to hang on? | ||
| Look. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, they're... | ||
| The person in blue is holding on. | ||
| He's got one hand on him. | ||
| I would do a pull-up and I say this now. | ||
| I do a pull-up and get my arm over it. | ||
| He might not be able to. | ||
| The drag of the wind. | ||
| How does he hang on? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Make it down to the bottom. | ||
| It is amazing. | ||
| His grip strength is incredible. | ||
| Dude, his forearm is supposed to be huge, man. | ||
| His grip strength is incredible. | ||
| And he let go. | ||
| What a chicken. | ||
| He couldn't wait until he got to the actual ground. | ||
| He probably couldn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just kidding. | |
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Well, I don't even think the guy even really landed. | ||
| This is a very high-definition video. | ||
| What was it taking on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| What's a GoPro? | ||
| Powerful GoPro. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Proper way to land. | ||
| Dick first. | ||
| Fuck that, sport. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| What if you hit a rock? | ||
| The lock scrams. | ||
| Back up? | ||
| Surgery to fix his wrist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does he say? | |
| Upon impact, my right wrist suffered a fragmented distal radius fracture, which required surgery. | ||
| Damn, son. | ||
| He got left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but that's the thing. | |
| So, like, he took a risk, but, like, there's a reward. | ||
| The reward's like that adrenaline rush. | ||
| That's an asshole. | ||
| People go hand gliding and stuff, like hand gliding, parasailing, all the water sports. | ||
| Yeah, you get a little bit of an adrenaline rush. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, if you want to live for that little drug, the little adrenaline drug, go ahead. | ||
| What if you went hunting, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Oh, he also tore his bicep tending from holding on as long as he did. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Stay alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Face something tomorrow? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| So, what if you went hunting, right? | ||
| And you didn't kill anything? | ||
| Is it still fun? | ||
| Happens all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So, it's the thought that you might catch something. | ||
| Well, it's not even that. | ||
| You don't say catch. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| You just kill something. | ||
| Destroy something. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Hunt. | ||
| End something's life. | ||
| Well, if you run and water it down, they call it harvest. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're harvesting. | |
| Harvesting it out. | ||
| They actually do. | ||
| Bro, it's not a pumpkin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a fucking deer. | ||
| It's a freaking deer, asshole. | ||
| You killed it. | ||
| Stop playing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it's difficult to do. | ||
| But if you do, that's one of the reasons why when you do do it, it feels like you accomplished something. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, so that's the positive aspect of it. | ||
| The positive aspect of it is that there's a reward if you can pull it off. | ||
| Not just that you, like, survive. | ||
| Like, I want to go running with the bulls. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Yeah, I lived. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Yeah, I guess that's a good point to think about it. | ||
| Rollercoasters. | ||
| I like roller coasters, but I have kids. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I like roller coasters for my kids. | ||
| It was just for me. | ||
| I wouldn't go to the fucking Disneyland. | ||
| But you like them because of your- My kids like it. | ||
| So I guess why do people- They love it. | ||
| That's why people like that. | ||
| They like roller coasters because it's like an adrenaline rush. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It gives you a little adrenaline rush. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel uncomfortable because I feel like if I die, this would be so stupid. | ||
| I didn't need to do this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I did this for a cheap thrill and it broke and I went flying off into the fucking street. | ||
| Yeah, good point. | ||
| Good point, yeah. | ||
| You know those weird carnivals that pull up in your neighborhood? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| The townie, hokey-looking ones? | ||
| You pull up in six trucks, and it unfolds as a checker's board. | ||
| Dude, one of them came to my neighborhood, and they had this fucking thing where you spin around really fast, you stick to the wall. | ||
| Not for a pop-up car. | ||
| I took pictures of the way it was set up. | ||
| I think it's on Instagram. | ||
| You probably won't be able to find it. | ||
| I took pictures, this was like years ago, of the way this thing was on five or six different two-by-fours. | ||
| It was on blocks and shit. | ||
| It was so wonky. | ||
| And people were climbing in there, oh boy, this is great! | ||
| I feel like your chances of dying at those things are like 98% higher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there it is. | |
| There's the picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| How dare you find that so quickly? | ||
| How'd you find that? | ||
| I'm a Google master. | ||
| That's pretty damn good. | ||
| You're a Google master. | ||
| But look at that thing. | ||
| Look how stupid that is. | ||
| So you can see the stacks of wood? | ||
| That is so goddamn dumb. | ||
| That's hokey as hell, man. | ||
| That's hokey as hell! | ||
| They have to do that to balance it out because they put that fucking thing on a hill. | ||
| So what were you doing there? | ||
| Your kids were on that? | ||
| No, I didn't let them get on that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For shame. | |
| I didn't let them get on that thing. | ||
| But, you know, you squirt the fucking gun, the clown face, and the balloon pops, and you win a stupid prize. | ||
| What would you nail at one of those carnivals? | ||
| What do you, like, kill every time? | ||
| I'm not good at anything. | ||
| Yeah, neither am I. It's said to be against you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It sucks. | |
| So I want to bring it back to Aliens. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, God, yeah, please. | ||
| We've got to wrap this up. | ||
| It's already 3 o'clock. | ||
| Please, please, please, yeah. | ||
| We've been doing this for three hours, man. | ||
| Are you shitting me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, for real. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| All right. | ||
| If the aliens came to you and said, Rich, we're going to give you this technology and information, but you can't tell anyone else, would you be willing to? | ||
| What technology? | ||
| What if the government brings you to Area 51 like Bob Lazar? | ||
| And they bring you down to the base. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they show you an alien spacecraft and they go, we're going to let you examine this. | ||
| We know that you love to tinker and back-engineer things, but you can't tell anybody. | ||
| Are you in? | ||
| I do it in a heartbeat. | ||
| Why the hell not? | ||
| Because you owe us the rest of the human race. | ||
| Like these fucking assholes in the government, they're going to keep you from telling us the truth? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't you think it would affect the whole world if we knew the truth? | ||
| Honestly, I'd probably tell everyone anyways, because the fact that they called the Tesla guy to go down there, of course you're going to rat them out. | ||
| Well, that's who I would call. | ||
| If I was the government, I wouldn't call some respectable scientist from Stanford. | ||
| I would call some dude who would be easily discredited. | ||
| Some guy who maybe is a little fudgy with his science reports. | ||
| Suspicious. | ||
| Maybe plagiarized a little bit in college, but he knows his shit. | ||
| That's me, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's funny. | |
| No, I would go with some guy who's, what is that, autodactic? | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
| Someone learns themselves? | ||
| Is that what the word is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, whatever. | |
| There's a lot, right? | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a lot of geniuses out there that just don't have the credentials. | ||
| Very smart people. | ||
| Autodidact, yes. | ||
| Yeah, autodidact. | ||
| Take that guy. | ||
| Take that guy. | ||
| Would you do that? | ||
| No, I'd tell everybody. | ||
| Why? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| Because I wouldn't trust those assholes. | ||
| You don't owe anyone anything. | ||
| Because I would want everyone to know. | ||
| What are they going to do with it? | ||
| They're just going to freak out. | ||
| I wouldn't be able to live with myself. | ||
| Really? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If the government wants to tell me some secrets, let me tell you something. | ||
| I'll tell everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Would you say that first? | ||
| I would definitely tell them I'm telling everybody. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I would say don't show it to me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say don't show it to me. | ||
| But that's not progressing the human race forward. | ||
| Because the goal is for you to see it and confirm it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You want to see it, confirm it, and tell everyone. | ||
| What are you going to say? | ||
| I don't want to die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| And I don't want them to kill me. | ||
| So I would say, listen. | ||
| They wouldn't kill you for that. | ||
| Maybe people have died already and we don't know. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's deep. | |
| Maybe, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look into it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It would be a thing where, in all honesty, it depends on what stage of my life. | ||
| If I was 30 years old and they said, I'm going to show you this, but you can't show anybody, are you willing? | ||
| I'd be like, yeah, sure, show me. | ||
| But at 50, I'd be like, no. | ||
| No, I'm not making any deals. | ||
| I don't want to make a deal where you tell me that I can't tell anybody about something. | ||
| I mean, it's one thing if it's a business thing. | ||
| Like, hey, Apple's going to show you the new iPhone, don't tell anybody. | ||
| Oh, for sure, I won't tell anybody. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| This is something that can affect the human race. | ||
| How would the confirmation of aliens affect the human race, you think? | ||
| Like, yes, there are aliens. | ||
| Now what? | ||
| What are we going to do? | ||
| Realistically, you would have to have confirmation that was undeniable. | ||
| And your own eyewitness testimony is not good enough. | ||
| They'll just think you're crazy. | ||
| They'll shoot you anyways. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They'll just think you're a fool. | ||
| And they'll just make you look like a dunce. | ||
| And it would actually probably help their cause. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because no one would ever believe you. | ||
| And no one would take aliens seriously after that. | ||
| Which is one of the arguments for what they actually did with Project Blue Book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a guy named Philip Corso, and J. Allen Hynek was the guy who was running Project Blue Book. | ||
| And one of the things they famously said after it was over, that they would just try to debunk things and make these things look foolish. | ||
| And then anything they found that they couldn't explain, they just tucked away. | ||
| But the things that they could explain, even if the explanation didn't jive, they came up with an explanation just to make people realize that aliens were bullshit. | ||
| But he, through the course of Project Blue Book, studying... | ||
| Now you have to ask this question. | ||
| Through the end of it, he decided that aliens were real and that we had been contacted. | ||
| However, you always have to question whether someone is doing that because this is a new avenue for them to make money. | ||
| Is this a new stream of revenue? | ||
| I'm going to do the lecture circuit. | ||
| I'm going to write books. | ||
| I mean, if you're a guy who worked for Project Blue Book and then they shut Project Blue Book down, you don't have any more money. | ||
| Yeah, you're broke. | ||
| And you decide, well, I don't want to work for the government anymore. | ||
| You know what I want to do? | ||
| I want to write stories about UFOs. | ||
| I'm going to start a podcast. | ||
| Fuck these assholes. | ||
| I mean, J. Allen Hynek died a long time ago, I believe, right? | ||
| Google J. Allen Hynek Project Blue Book UFOs. | ||
| I'm pretty sure there's interviews where afterwards he said he is sure, after all of his time studying, that there is and has been some contact with extraterrestrials. | ||
| So what do you think? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| See, me personally, I have zero experience, right? | ||
| Who does have experience? | ||
| Someone might. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| What are you laughing at? | ||
| Man, I don't want to talk about it yet. | ||
| You don't want to talk about it yet? | ||
| I'm not ready to talk about it yet. | ||
| Stuff I've been looking into about this topic. | ||
| This guy worked at that company I've told you about. | ||
| In Columbus, Ohio? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He also is a teacher of physics and astronomy at Ohio State in 1936. So you think there's some real shit going down? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You think some real shit's going down? | ||
| I don't know about all the alien technologies or beings or aliens or something. | ||
| There's something going on, and it has to do with that company, and it has to do with everything you're talking about in Project Blue Book. | ||
| I don't know what it is, though. | ||
| That's very vague. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Super vague. | ||
| Yeah, something's going on, guys. | ||
| I can't, because to me it doesn't seem fair to just go with the big conspiracy, but there are facts that you can look up and find. | ||
| So once you get to the bottom of your investigation, you'll have a report for it? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll talk to you. | |
| I'm not ready to, because it sounds a little too crazy right now. | ||
| I want to leave some of the crazy stuff out. | ||
| Yeah, it's one of those subjects that inherently starts looking crazy until aliens show up. | ||
| What was that movie? | ||
| What was the recent movie where they spoke in smoke? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Arrival. | ||
| Arrival. | ||
| If something like that shows up. | ||
| Then, all of a sudden, our perceptions completely change. | ||
| It's like, oh, wait. | ||
| It's undeniable. | ||
| There's, like, some giant Los Angeles-sized thing floating over the continental U.S. Yeah. | ||
| We'd be like, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| So, how's the thing? | ||
| So, why would you... | ||
| So, if we... | ||
| Let's just say we had a microscope, right? | ||
| Periscope or whatever. | ||
| Whatever you call it. | ||
| Look in the space really far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Telescope. | |
| Telescope, yeah. | ||
| Periscope. | ||
| If I wasn't a submarine... | ||
| We all live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| And we see an alien, you know, colony. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Unlike Mars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| What would we do? | ||
| We'd study it. | ||
| We'd try to communicate with it. | ||
| But would that be a good move? | ||
| Like, what if they came over to us and they'll go, oh, look at these fucking dumb chimps. | ||
| Do you think any foreign or alien species would think we're idiots? | ||
| A hundred percent of them would think we're idiots. | ||
| Yeah, if they're advanced to the point where they've gotten control of their emotions and anger. | ||
| I mean, just think about how much tribal warfare goes on still in America, in the world. | ||
| You know, how much... | ||
| How warfare is taking place? | ||
| How many people are dying? | ||
| How many innocent people are dying? | ||
| Drones, all that kind of stuff. | ||
| They'd be aware of all that. | ||
| They'd be aware of our polluting of the environment. | ||
| They'd be aware of our depleting the ocean of its fish. | ||
| They're just pulling in giant nets filled with fish. | ||
| A caching fish medium. | ||
| What the fuck are you people doing? | ||
| They'd be looking at coal plants and the President of the United States, the greatest superpower the world has ever known, saying things like, clean coal. | ||
| Like, clean coal! | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Okay, so someone comes to visit us, right? | ||
| What's the dumbest thing that they're going to notice the first? | ||
| They can say, oh wow, this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. | ||
| What's the number one thing? | ||
| You visit our planet, the number one dumbest thing they're going to see and be like... | ||
| They're probably going to think pollution is the number one dumbest. | ||
| Like, you guys are shitting in the environment that you need to sustain you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're doing this in... | ||
| It's not like you don't have the resources to fix that. | ||
| With infinite money. | ||
| Yeah, we have incredible amounts of money, but yet the money's not going towards that. | ||
| Massive resources should be going to removing carbon from the atmosphere, removing particulates from the atmosphere. | ||
| Yeah, like brake dust and all the shit that's in these cities. | ||
| These cars are constantly slamming on their brakes. | ||
| That dust that you have to clean off your wheels, that shit's everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| It's in your lungs, baby. | ||
| It's fucking everywhere. | ||
| It takes years off people's lives. | ||
| It absolutely does. | ||
| They would look at all that. | ||
| They would go, why aren't they looking at that? | ||
| Why don't they have some sort of system in place to mitigate all the problems they've created in terms of like, oh, they got rid of plastic straws. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Keep the caps, though. | ||
| Keep the bottles. | ||
| The caps are fine. | ||
| Keep the tabs that you pull off of things. | ||
| Keep plastic wrap. | ||
| Everything's plastic. | ||
| What do you think of those new disintegrating straws, by the way? | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I want to keep around a stainless steel one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should. | |
| But you have to clean it, though. | ||
| I was thinking about that same thing. | ||
| You can just stab somebody if somebody attacks you. | ||
| If you get one that's got a good point. | ||
| Sharper in the end? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| Did I stab your throat? | ||
| Just punch a hole through them like that Walking Dead crossbow bolt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's the big one that they would get. | ||
| They would go, wow, these people are crazy. | ||
| The other thing they would say is the nuclear power thing. | ||
| When you find out things like the Fukushima plant, they didn't have any sort of backup plan to shut it down. | ||
| You don't know what happens if your generator goes out. | ||
| Oh, well, we're fucked. | ||
| Now it's a nuclear meltdown and everything dies forever. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't plan on that. | ||
| Like, the fact that they built these plants and they have no idea how to shut them off. | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| The aliens are probably like, these people are out of their fucking mind. | ||
| They're smart enough to figure out how to harness nuclear power. | ||
| But what they use it for is to generate steam. | ||
| Constant. | ||
| And it has to stay on forever. | ||
| That's why they put them near the oceans. | ||
| Like, these guys are assholes. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The other thing, too, is that how would you... | ||
| Let's just say things are going to shit really quickly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a nuclear power plant that's going to blow up any second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Any second. | |
| How would you... | ||
| I know you're an outdoorsy guy. | ||
| You hunt. | ||
| You kill. | ||
| Harvest, as they say. | ||
| How long do you think you could survive if things went to shit really quickly? | ||
| If you had to survive, you have all the money you want, right? | ||
| But how long do you think you could survive in the wilderness? | ||
| It would be very hard. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| And not only that, you've got to get through the winter. | ||
| So you're going to have to build some sort of a shelter. | ||
| There's no winter here, though, is there? | ||
| I mean, not in LA, but in Big Bear, which is only a couple hours north of here. | ||
| I mean, there's plenty of places where you could drive in a couple hours. | ||
| You could go to Big Bear, and then you can go down to the beach. | ||
| You could experience the desert. | ||
| You could experience a lot of different climates. | ||
| It would really depend upon where you were stuck and what you would eat. | ||
| So the thing is, if you want to stay in the L.A. area, you're dead. | ||
| Because you're not going to be able to eat shit. | ||
| There's nothing here. | ||
| Would you stay in your house? | ||
| Would you migrate? | ||
| You have kids and a wife. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to get out of here. | ||
| So you'd leave. | ||
| You'd drive your Tesla. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which car would you take? | ||
| No way. | ||
| What? | ||
| No way. | ||
| There was a big debate that I had. | ||
| In a crisis situation, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Would you take the Tesla? | ||
| No. | ||
| What would you take? | ||
| I have a Toyota Land Cruiser with a 40-gallon gas tank. | ||
| I got an apocalypse mobile. | ||
| I went through a big debate. | ||
| I got shit on so much for this. | ||
| I said the same exact thing. | ||
| I was like, listen, in an oh shit situation, I would leave the Tesla behind. | ||
| Who argued with you about that? | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| I would leave that behind. | ||
| I'd take my pickup truck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or Tacoma. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| I fill it with gas. | ||
| I just drive. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Well, you know, in an emergency crisis situation, you don't have access to the gas. | ||
| What if the gasoline didn't work? | ||
| You go to the liquor store, you fill it up with alcohol. | ||
| Remember we had the hurricane in Florida a while back? | ||
| Now, everyone was saying, like, yeah, the gas pumps wouldn't work because the electricity was shut off. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But the superchargers still work, and you can get to your destination still, and Tesla's used less energy. | ||
| It's like, at the end of the day, I happen to pick up a truck with two shotguns and five things of gasoline and be fine. | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| Yeah, they also make tanks that you can put in your gas tank, in the bed of your truck, rather, that are like these survival tanks. | ||
| You can drive as far as you want, 800 miles. | ||
| Yeah, and more. | ||
| And you drive thousands of miles. | ||
| There's a guy who actually, there was a podcast that I was listening to, this guy who is like an extreme prepper. | ||
| And he actually made a trip with one tank of gas from Arizona to Canada. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| He drove all the way up to Canada, all the way across, with one tank of gas. | ||
| Because this massive tank in the back of his pickup truck... | ||
| It feeds directly into his primary gas tank. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and you can get these. | ||
| They're like these survival tanks. | ||
| And, you know, they'll host like hundreds of gallons of fuel. | ||
| But you're also a target. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I'd probably shoot at that guy's car. | ||
| That's the other thing, too. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| All of a sudden, you're lawless. | ||
| See what happens? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You become a barbarian. | |
| I know. | ||
| The lights go off for five minutes. | ||
| I want to kill everyone. | ||
| You're starting fires. | ||
| Shooting cars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So then, all right. | ||
| So you leave. | ||
| You take your family, right? | ||
| You have your kids. | ||
| You have your wife. | ||
| Where are you going to go? | ||
| You hop in your Land Cruiser. | ||
| Where are you going to go? | ||
| You have a real problem. | ||
| And what are you going to bring? | ||
| Well, you would have to bring things to start a fire and things to kill animals. | ||
| Those are the things that would be very important. | ||
| I would bring guns. | ||
| I'd bring bows. | ||
| I'd bring ammunition and arrows. | ||
| But I would realistically realize that, first of all, I'm not going to make more bullets and I'm not going to make more arrows. | ||
| What am I going to do and how long am I going to last? | ||
| Would you bring marijuana? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I'd be just trying to stay alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you'd also be trying to stay alive for a long period of time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You might want to bring it. | ||
| No. | ||
| Use the pain. | ||
| No, really? | ||
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not going to eat. | ||
| I mean, marijuana for pain relief, I mean, I guess it works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's not what I use it for. | ||
| Pain at night of the impending doom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you'd be freaking out even more. | ||
| I'm freaking out plenty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe, I mean, I just, there's no, there's not room. | ||
| I would bring water purification tablets. | ||
| No food, though. | ||
| I'd bring filters. | ||
| You canned food? | ||
| I would bring food. | ||
| I'd probably bring food in the form of heavy-duty bars that don't take up a lot of space but are dense and nutrient-rich like those green belly bars. | ||
| Protein bars. | ||
| Yeah, something that has a lot of calories, high calories, in a small package, a small size. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Where are you heading? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Going to the woods. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta go somewhere where there's animals. | ||
| And even then, you're not gonna make it, and your kids are probably not gonna make it. | ||
| That's the real thing is, it's true. | ||
| The idea that you're gonna live off of animals, this isn't the Serengeti, man. | ||
| There's not a lot of animals. | ||
| Unless you're somewhere where you can find a lot of fucking animals. | ||
| Right, like rabbits and shit, right? | ||
| Yeah, and you gotta keep them, like, you're gonna have to kill them every other day, because they're not gonna last with the heat. | ||
| And your kids aren't going to eat a dead rabbit for sure. | ||
| They'll eat a dead rabbit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, they'll eat a rabbit. | ||
| Yeah, my kids will eat pretty much anything. | ||
| Do you know how to start a fire? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but it's not easy. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| If you have a string and a bow and two pieces of dried wood and, you know, hardwood and a softer wood, you can do it. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| But it ain't easy. | ||
| Like starting a bow with one of those... | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| It takes a little while. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But it's not easy. | ||
| You're better off with a flint. | ||
| If you have a flint and a piece of metal, you can start a fire pretty easy. | ||
| And also, you want to bring with you some tinder. | ||
| If you have some dry tinder, you should bring that with you, too. | ||
| Look, you're in for a world of hate. | ||
| Yeah, I know, man. | ||
| A world of shit. | ||
| If you want to really survive... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Whenever I watch those survival shows... | ||
| Which I love, by the way. | ||
| I'm really into that shit. | ||
| They're exciting, right? | ||
| Yeah, I'm into that shit. | ||
| What would I do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was this guy doing? | ||
| This YouTube kind of fed this to me the other day. | ||
| 300 days a lot. | ||
| He made a self-documentary of him spending 300 days on an island by himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| He got dropped off with a satellite phone because he ends up getting hurt at some point during it. | ||
| Are you cutting his own hand off? | ||
| No, it's a fish. | ||
| I'm not showing it on here because there's lots of views. | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| 300 Days Alone. | ||
| He does it. | ||
| At the very end of it, his friend meets him and he shows him what he's been doing for the last two weeks all alone. | ||
| There's a volcano on this island. | ||
| He looked like he freaked out. | ||
| He's basically cast away at the end of this fucking documentary. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| Look, that's a fucking hard thing to do just for your mind. | ||
| I couldn't do that. | ||
| He's weaving together ropes and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| If they put you on an island, how long do you think you'd last? | ||
| I'd probably last... | ||
| I'd make it. | ||
| Maybe 45 minutes. | ||
| Depends on if I knew that my family was still alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I will make it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I'll figure out a way to make it. | ||
| He found a little pig. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He kept it as a pet for a little while. | ||
| Oh, I thought it was dead. | ||
| He's going to kill it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He kept it as a pet and it ended up running away. | ||
| How did he feed it? | ||
| He feeds it. | ||
| He shows you what he does. | ||
| So it's a wild pig. | ||
| How do you even find a pig like that? | ||
| Well, it means he's on a very animal-rich environment if he's on an island with pigs. | ||
| Trapped it. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| So did he kill any pigs? | ||
| I honestly didn't watch the entire thing. | ||
| No, that's the same problem. | ||
| I didn't watch the whole thing because it's an hour long. | ||
| He's drinking the pig's piss right there. | ||
| Look at his. | ||
| It was just really cool when you started talking about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just saw it. | |
| What the hell is going on here? | ||
| He brought his dog with us. | ||
| He's probably in LA. He's in LA. He's lying. | ||
| That guy's in Topanga Canyon. | ||
| That guy's in Calabasca. | ||
| He's right behind Kanye's house. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| He's behind Kanye's house. | ||
| Oh, is this how he caught fish? | ||
| Yeah, the island that he is is right here. | ||
| He had some guys drop him off and he just said, don't come back for 300 days. | ||
| So wait, how does he charge the batteries for this footage? | ||
| You have cell phone chargers that use solar power. | ||
| A lot of guys use those. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, my friend Adam Greentree, he lives in Australia, and every year he comes to America, and he's a bow hunter, and he'd do a one-month trek solo in the mountains hunting for elk, and he uses these solar panels that he lays out, and they charge battery packs, and that's how he charges his phone. | ||
| And so he got very famous on Instagram for documenting all this in his Instagram stories. | ||
| He got in an altercation with a grizzly bear, and he was documenting it. | ||
| You could see in the Instagram story, the bear standing up, No shit. | ||
| He's looking at him and coming towards him, and he's got a pistol out. | ||
| It turned out the pistol was jammed. | ||
| Did he throw it at the bear then? | ||
| He didn't have to, but he had it pointed at the... | ||
| He didn't even understand that the pistol... | ||
| It wasn't his pistol, so he let him borrow it for personal safety in the forest. | ||
| And the bullet was the wrong size for the pistol. | ||
| It could have blew up in his hand if you're not careful. | ||
| Yeah, something. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| But he's fine now, right? | ||
| He's okay. | ||
| He's Australian, man. | ||
| They're a different breed of people. | ||
| Yeah, they have some shit down there. | ||
| Yeah, they're children of criminals. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| The British people who, back then, when everybody was a criminal, were like, you guys are too crazy. | ||
| Get the fuck off our continent. | ||
| I'm going to put you in paradise. | ||
| Put them in paradise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they have crazy animals down there, too. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Giant spiders and shit. | ||
| But the people are cool as fuck, man. | ||
| It's like a weird thing. | ||
| Like, somehow or another, that worked. | ||
| And you've been there, right? | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| Yeah, I love Australia. | ||
| What can we do down there? | ||
| Well, you should do stand-up down there. | ||
| Maybe you should start your tour. | ||
| Ooh, yeah, that's a good idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| It's expensive. | ||
| The thing is, I have no income, really. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For now. | ||
| Yeah, for now. | ||
| That's the tough thing, is that... | ||
| Staying at that hostel really brought things into perspective. | ||
| Snoring, farting. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| People just standing in front of me butt-naked. | ||
| I'm like, hey. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| It's just a crazy world, man. | ||
| Crazy world. | ||
| Listen, dude, I've got to wrap this up. | ||
| It's been a pleasure. | ||
| I'm really glad we did it. | ||
| So am I, man. | ||
| I had a feeling it was going to work out this way. | ||
| Can I plug my Instagram and my shop? | ||
| So check me out. | ||
| Instagram at RichieBKid. | ||
| R-I-C-H-I-E-B-K-I-D-D. And my YouTube channel, Rich Rebuilds. | ||
| And the shop I'm opening, Electrified Garage. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Well, thank you, sir. | ||
| This was a lot of fun, man. | ||
| And I want you to come back a year from now saying you're doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything's kicking ass. | ||
| I have like a beard. | ||
| Like, hey, Joe, man. | ||
| Cam Homeless, man. | ||
| Sucks. | ||
| I was on an island for 300 days. | ||
| This sucks, man. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you, buddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Bye, everybody. |
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