Feb. 25, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:53:13
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Four, three, two, one, and we're live! | ||
| So what am I not supposed to say? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Oh, cunt. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's basically the title of the show that we've omitted from the print listings. | ||
| Yeah, the show is actually called Don't Say Cunt with Paul and Dave. | ||
| Because this is the one place where you're not going to hear the word cunt. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of a promise that for 45 minutes, there'll be 45 minutes because, as we understand it, Americans don't like the word cunt. | ||
| Some Americans, it's getting nummer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It used to be a lot worse. | ||
| But until that day. | ||
| There's a bunch of women that were trying to take it back. | ||
| Was that the guys we fucked girls? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I think it was. | ||
| They were trying to take it back. | ||
| They were trying to like, you know, own it. | ||
| Take back cunt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Take back the word? | ||
| Well, I think I'm very dead inside my head. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Dave's having a stroke. | ||
| Dave's having a stroke. | ||
| Did it die? | ||
| It might have disconnected. | ||
| Yeah, this is fun. | ||
| Jamie will hook it up. | ||
| You're okay. | ||
| Am I plugged in? | ||
| There's a little bit of an issue. | ||
| I feel like there's a pressure differential. | ||
| Is that better? | ||
| That's a weird feeling. | ||
| You only have one ear on, too. | ||
| Oh, you have both of them on there. | ||
| Yeah, I took it off because I couldn't hear anything. | ||
| Check, check, check, check, check. | ||
| One, two, three, four, five, five, six. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| No, that's Paul, apparently. | ||
| That's me, I think. | ||
| Check, check, check, check. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I can hear now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You can turn me down just a little bit. | ||
| Somebody's in here. | ||
| Gremlins. | ||
| Goddamn Gremlins. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Monking with the fucking sound. | ||
| We're not here. | ||
| Which one was me? | ||
| I'm going to just adjust it. | ||
| And that's our show. | ||
| This one? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Hello, Dave Foley. | ||
| I hear you, Dave. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I always hear Dave. | ||
| So why did you guys choose that as your podcast title? | ||
| Well, we're Canadians, and cunt is not nearly as bad in Canada as it is in the States. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| As a swear word, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what – they need to put out some sort of a periodic table of the atomic weight of swear words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know. | ||
| Cunt would be quite heavy, but heavier in the American version. | ||
| But here, in America, cunt actually just would drop through the crust of the earth. | ||
| Yeah, it's too heavy. | ||
| And just tumble right down to the core. | ||
| You'll go through the other side. | ||
| Yeah, so I guess we just found that... | ||
| Patently ridiculous? | ||
| Well, we like, you know, we grew up, I grew up hearing the word a lot from my dad. | ||
| What is your dad like? | ||
| Well, he's not like much anymore. | ||
| He's dead. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| He died in 79. Sorry, dude. | ||
| He died in 79. It's okay. | ||
| No, as I always say, there are no better parents than dead parents. | ||
| Yeah, they can't fuck you up anymore. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| But my dad was real, really fond of that word. | ||
| Was he English? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but... | |
| Is he full Canadian? | ||
| He's full Canadian, but being Canadian is kind of like being English a little bit. | ||
| You guys have English people in your money still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And we get all the English movies, all the English TV shows. | ||
| We pledge allegiance to the Queen in school. | ||
| Is that still going on? | ||
| Possibly, yeah. | ||
| And in our sleep. | ||
| So many good things about Canada, yet so many preposterous things. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Well, the fact that a monarchy still exists at all is preposterous. | ||
| Canada is great on paper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the monarchy, even in itself, has become Kardashian-ified. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But didn't they, weren't they always? | ||
| I guess they were. | ||
| I mean, how else did they? | ||
| Like during the Prince Die days and yeah. | ||
| Or even just back to Henry VIII. Sure. | ||
| I mean, what maintained the monarchy other than the fact that people wanted celebrities? | ||
| And that was the only celebrities they had. | ||
| Right, and the priests. | ||
| And I think Henry VIII also had ass implants, if I'm incorrect. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Progressive. | ||
| It's ahead of his time. | ||
| Yeah, that is an interesting thing. | ||
| It's like the Prince Charles Lady Di saga was essentially one of our first reality things to enjoy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes, that was madness when it happened. | ||
| It was so huge. | ||
| And then someone said, well, what if we just make housewives in Orange County royalty? | ||
| And you don't have to pay them as much as the king and queen. | ||
| And you can cancel them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those shows are wonderful. | ||
| I've never seen an episode of any of them. | ||
| They're fascinating. | ||
| The Beverly Hills one is... | ||
| Well, there's different versions of them, right? | ||
| In different versions, you get to see the geographical creepiness of... | ||
| Like Atlanta is its own thing. | ||
| Yeah, Atlanta's not a bad one. | ||
| The worst one was Jersey. | ||
| They're fucking savage people. | ||
| That's my ancestors. | ||
| Those fucking savage monkey folk that live in... | ||
| Isn't the worst anything the Jersey version? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The worst of anything. | ||
| The worst penicillin is the Jersey penicillin. | ||
| CSI Jersey was terrible, by the way. | ||
| Nah, that doesn't exist. | ||
| Yeah, the Beverly Hills one, all of them are fascinating. | ||
| Take people, force them into these situations where they're going to have these artificial disputes. | ||
| What was crazy to me is watching people succumb to the pressure of all that attention when they've never experienced it before, and then you're going to just thrust them into this massively popular, you know, for lack of a better word, cunt fest. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| Well, if you take fame, Yeah, and you divorce it of any supporting, sort of supporting, you know, talent. | ||
|
unidentified
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Or nothing, no offering even. | |
| Something to offer, yeah, nothing to offer. | ||
| No offering. | ||
|
unidentified
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There's no painting, no sculpting, there's no singing. | |
| They only take. | ||
| They don't give. | ||
| Because fame will destroy, if you're a brilliant artist, fame will destroy you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But if there's nothing underneath the fame, there's nothing to hold it up. | ||
| Well, I remember watching Kelsey Grammer's wife. | ||
| I had met her before. | ||
| She seemed like a very nice lady. | ||
| Camille. | ||
| Yeah, Camille. | ||
| And then she... | ||
| I forgot her name. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I didn't want to just... | ||
| I wanted to give context. | ||
| He is a huge Camille fan. | ||
| I'm giant. | ||
| I have a tattoo. | ||
| I was going to say, do you have a tattoo? | ||
| But she decided to play the heel. | ||
| And it was so obvious that the pressure was just overwhelming the hatred that was coming her way. | ||
| She had decided she was going to be the boss bitch on the show and just let everybody know, you know, this is how it is. | ||
| And I'm here to run things. | ||
| And just the swamp of evil that came her way. | ||
| And then she's like, quit, done, fuck this show. | ||
| She bailed out of it. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| Did she even choose that role? | ||
| Or was it like a producer that said, here's your answer. | ||
| Well, according to Kelsey, he told her, like, hey, okay, this is what you've always wanted here. | ||
| Like, because that's, like, what led to their divorce or what was happening during them getting divorced. | ||
| You know, he essentially said, you know, this is what you've always wanted. | ||
| Like, you know, like, don't think you understand this, so good luck with it. | ||
| And then, you know, she just kind of vanished afterwards. | ||
| She's like, fuck all this, which is wise on her part. | ||
| She recognized what it is. | ||
| But those people that are on it, I know some people who know some folks that are on that show, and they just go crazy. | ||
| They start popping pills and losing their mind. | ||
| They're in therapy every day, and it's just madness. | ||
| The desire for fame with nothing more to it other than a desire to be famous can only drive you insane. | ||
| Fame is an emergent property of doing something. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is bearable. | ||
| But it's strange. | ||
| But so strange. | ||
| And so difficult to truly manage. | ||
| Yeah, but you can at least say, I don't define myself by the fame. | ||
| I define myself by the work that created the fame. | ||
| Whereas if there's no work underneath it, you only exist in so much as people are aware of you. | ||
| You exist in those moments when you walk into a room and everyone's staring at you. | ||
| That's what you look for. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I have that anyway because of my body. | ||
| So I guess I know what real fame is like. | ||
| And the horrible allergy you have to pants. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I can't wear pants every time I walk in a room. | ||
| Well, I always say that fame is a property of the beholder, not the beheld. | ||
| And that fame only exists so long as somebody in the room knows who you are. | ||
| And the minute you're in a room where no one knows you, your fame evaporates. | ||
| That is one of the weirdest interrogations I've ever gotten. | ||
| It's when people go, why do these people know you? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| Should I know you? | ||
| Should I take a photo with you? | ||
| You're somebody, but I don't know who. | ||
| The weird thing is they're almost offended that other people know you and they don't. | ||
| Like, you're playing a game with me. | ||
| Why don't I know you? | ||
| They get angry. | ||
| Also, there's the other thing about fame is that people feel like they can just start talking to you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You can sit next to you. | ||
| Oh yeah, you could be in the middle of an intense conversation with your favorite person on the planet. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They know you. | ||
| You've been in their house. | ||
| I had a guy come to me in the street and just go, Hey Dave, how you doing? | ||
| And I thought, Oh, I must know him. | ||
| So I said, Oh, I'm good. | ||
| How are you doing, man? | ||
| And his next line was, You don't even know me, you fucking phony. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dave, that was me. | ||
| That was you? | ||
| I wish I was better at faces. | ||
| Was this in Canada? | ||
| This was in downtown LA. Really? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| You didn't even know me, you fucking phony. | ||
| I'm just trying to be nice, sir. | ||
| Was he a drunk? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was a guy who just, I'm going to go pretend I know him, just watch this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Was that the end of the conversation? | ||
| Yeah, that was basically it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What a rude person. | ||
| That's a terrible conversation. | ||
| Probably a guy who auditioned for news radio in 96 and just never gotten over it. | ||
| That fucking cunt. | ||
| He's the one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's the one. | |
| I was on my way to stardom. | ||
| And to be fair, it was me. | ||
| I tripped him up. | ||
| Are you still doing that show with Dr. Ken? | ||
| No, we stopped when they cancelled it. | ||
| Oh, that's always a good move. | ||
| Yeah, not right away. | ||
| It's several months in. | ||
| To be fair, you kept doing the show after it was cancelled, right? | ||
| Was it called The Doctors? | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| No, that's the other one. | ||
| That's a real one. | ||
| Dr. Oz, right? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| What was the name of it again? | ||
| I mean, we can still call Dr. Oz a real doctor, right? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Is he as far gone as Drew? | ||
| Once you've been pushed in front of Congress, and they question you on your weight loss claims, Yeah, he's a charlatan. | ||
| That had a crazy title or something, wasn't it? | ||
| Dr. Ken. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Dr. Ken, yeah. | ||
| He just did a Netflix special. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He's back doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, he's one of the sweetest guys on the planet Earth. | ||
| He is a nice man. | ||
| Very, very nice guy. | ||
| And he's got a lovely family. | ||
| Yeah, super good guy. | ||
| Are you still doing the acting thing? | ||
| Are you enjoying it? | ||
| Off and on. | ||
| You know, enjoying is a difficult concept. | ||
| That was the take I had on it with you back in 94. It's a better job than most. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| When you're doing something you like, there's a certain satisfaction. | ||
| But even then, even when we were doing news radio, you don't get to enjoy it because you're so focused on whatever the flaws are while you're making it. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, you get to enjoy it during the wrap party. | ||
| Yeah, or 20 years later. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Occasionally someone will send me a clip online. | ||
| It's so strange to watch. | ||
| It's so strange when you're watching yourself from 20 plus years ago say something you don't remember saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then you watch like, wow, I don't even remember that episode at all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember most. | ||
| I never watched. | ||
| I think I only watched about six episodes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Of news radio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I love the show. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But you knew it. | ||
| I didn't want to watch it. | ||
| You were there when it happened. | ||
| Yeah, all I'd be doing is nitpicking the editing. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, it's a strange thing to look back. | ||
| When you go back, you know, 20 plus years and think of all the scenes, all the writing, all the work, and now it's just sort of, now, that's the other thing we never anticipated, that it would be floating around the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| YouTube clips. | ||
| Nothing goes away. | ||
| News radio is floating way out in the periphery of the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but you still get drawn in sometimes. | |
| But shows like Friends, like the fact, you know, you have young kids. | ||
| Like my daughter's 15. She's watched every episode of Friends at least twice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's 10 years of shows. | ||
| And it's not just her, it's every 15-year-old in the country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's like that that, you know, is coming back and is significant to these kids now. | ||
| Well, what's fascinating is I don't think those shows are being made anymore. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| I mean, there's the Chuck Lorre type shows that I watch and I go, I'm missing a gene. | ||
| Why is everyone laughing so hard? | ||
| Have you ever seen those without the laugh track? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| I can imagine what that must be like. | ||
| They've taken some of those shows. | ||
| I've seen the Big Bang Theory. | ||
| I would like to see that. | ||
| They've removed the laugh track and you watch it with just the actor saying the words. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| Has anything funny ever happened on it? | ||
| Well, it's just... | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| It's like you're watching... | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's illogical. | ||
| Yeah, and that place people get in their heads where they just go, it'll be fine. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, news radio, if we did a scene and it didn't get a laugh, we rewrote the whole scene. | ||
| Yeah, literally. | ||
| With the audience there. | ||
| Well, I think the term good enough is perfect for comedy. | ||
| Eh, it's good enough. | ||
| People are kind of chuckling. | ||
| Once you get a certain number of characters that you can get to interact with each other in predictable ways on those shows, then they just sort of have them have these little scenes and have different inflections and different... | ||
| He stumbles, and they make a show out of it. | ||
| And for the audience, I think it just becomes comfort. | ||
| Yes, familiarity. | ||
| I maintain that's what drove Charlie Sheen crazy, is doing that goddamn show. | ||
| Yeah, he did for a long time. | ||
| For a long time. | ||
| I think that's what drove him to the edge. | ||
| I think he was always crazy. | ||
| But I think when you do a show that you don't enjoy doing, or that you don't... | ||
| Look, the guy was in fucking Platoon, right? | ||
| I mean, he was in some amazing films. | ||
| To be fair, he wasn't very funny in that. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, he wasn't. | ||
| It was really kind of a bummer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They should have taken that as a warning. | ||
| Yeah, they should take that comedy label off that. | ||
| That should stop ending up in all those comedy lists. | ||
| He was in Wall Street. | ||
| I mean, he was in some giant, excellent movies. | ||
| And then he's on this show that doesn't really make sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's really talented. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he's a really, really talented actor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And really funny. | ||
| As an actor. | ||
| Amazing timing. | ||
| What was the Zucker Brothers franchise? | ||
| Hot Shots. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's hot shots. | ||
| He was funny in Hot Shots. | ||
| They don't make those kind of movies anymore. | ||
| Nobody does jokes anymore. | ||
| It doesn't sing. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't do jokes. | ||
| Effort is frowned upon. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think. | ||
| You have to be lazy. | ||
| Well, comedy movies are... | ||
| You know, there's still comedy movies, right? | ||
| There's like... | ||
| The Judd Apatow type films, they still make comedy movies, but it seems like there's not as many anymore. | ||
| Or maybe I just don't go out as much. | ||
| There's a little bit of that too. | ||
| But it's also like the subject matter is so dangerous now. | ||
| Like everything that used to be funny. | ||
| I watched Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, with my kids. | ||
| And I did not remember how transphobic that movie is. | ||
| Like the whole movie is one gigantic trans joke. | ||
| Trans joke. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| At the end of it. | ||
| I don't know if I've ever seen it. | ||
| Dude, at the end of it, I'm like, whoa, I forgot. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Like... | ||
| The men, when they find out she's a girl, they're throwing up. | ||
| Or that she's a boy, rather. | ||
| They're throwing up. | ||
| Wasn't the brushing teeth? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, they're scrubbing their mouth out. | ||
| Everyone's vomiting. | ||
| You would be skewered if you did that today. | ||
| You'd be finished. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'd be done. | ||
| And they stole that whole joke from The Crying Game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Which is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
| Which one came first? | ||
| I don't know anymore. | ||
| Imagine if The Crying Game did a serious version of Ace Ventura. | ||
| They're like, I have an idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forgot about The Crying Game. | ||
| The whole ass-talking scene would be totally different. | ||
| I remember watching The Crying Game and I heard this big surprise twist. | ||
| I bet what happens is that the transvestite turns out to be an IRA spy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Because you were already two steps ahead. | |
| I forgot that movie. | ||
| So how long have you guys been doing this podcast? | ||
| Just before Christmas? | ||
| Not that long. | ||
| We've known each other. | ||
| We've known each other a long time. | ||
| 30 years, I guess. | ||
| What motivated it? | ||
| Our wives. | ||
| Did they say, get the fuck out of here? | ||
| Yeah, they wanted us out of the house, pretty much. | ||
| They said, can you go do something somewhere else? | ||
| And they're actually on the podcast with us. | ||
| Chrissy, my wife, produces it and puts it all together. | ||
| Jackie Harris, my wife. | ||
| Makes it super hard to fire her. | ||
| It is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| We're the ones who will get fired. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Well, she fired me once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| For 10 years, right? | ||
| Yeah, but Chrissy and I, we separated for 10 years. | ||
| Well, actually, the last time I saw you was during that separation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you got back together. | ||
| We got back together. | ||
| Well, that's nice. | ||
| She's cool. | ||
| Yeah, Chrissy's great. | ||
| I remember running into her at a Satan thing, that satanic fucking thing. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Yeah, Duncan Trussell, my good friend, was performing at, is it Stanton LaVey's grandson or something? | ||
| Anton LaVey's grandson? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were getting married at this fucking crazy theater, and your wife was dressed as like a devil or some shit. | ||
| Yeah, some sort of god. | ||
| She was like dancing there, and I'm like, oh, hi, how are you? | ||
| What are you doing here? | ||
| Like, you're a normal person. | ||
| Why are you here? | ||
| But there's a picture of me with Anton LaVey that knuckleheads to this day use as evidence that I'm a Satan worshiper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That's... | ||
| You're merely an associate. | ||
| You are a Satan associate. | ||
| I'm Satan adjacent. | ||
| I think that's what they say now. | ||
| And that's fanboy. | ||
| I love that that comes... | ||
|
unidentified
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That's something people still worry about. | |
| There you are. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah, that's good. | ||
| That's me in a, I think that's Hank Williams III's shirt that I'm wearing there. | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| The fact that people still worry about Satan is just, I mean, you want to just say, calm down. | ||
| He's not a problem because he doesn't exist just like your God. | ||
| Oh, how dare you. | ||
| There's people listening right now that just took their earphones off and threw them across the room. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're going to have to get new earphones. | ||
| I could hear cunt for 30 times. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
| They prefer cunt to that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Son of a bitch. | |
| You could say cunt as much as you want, just never that. | ||
| You know, whether or not God exists is a fascinating point of discussion, but what's interesting is this agreement that people say when they decide that God exists, and you decide that God exists, and I decide that God exists, so we both have agreed that there's this weird thing that makes no sense that we're on board with, so I know where you stand on a lot of issues. | ||
| I probably know where you stand on abortion. | ||
| I probably know where you stand on guns. | ||
| I probably know where you stand on climate change. | ||
| It's a weird little thing that you do when you say, well, I'm a God-fearing Christian. | ||
| Oh, me too. | ||
| Okay, now I can predict you better. | ||
| It's like you're all wearing the same decoder ring. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| That is what a lot of it is. | ||
| Whether or not you believe in God or not. | ||
| It's the saying that God's real and the worshiping God and the talking about God is just letting everybody know that they can predict you. | ||
| If you're a gentleman, you're wearing a tie with a nice suit on and a pair of pants, I can fairly likely predict that you're going to be reasonably behaved. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're a gentleman. | ||
| You know, if you're a Christian, if you're a person who calls himself a Christian and, you know, well, we go to church every Sunday and I like to read the Bible and I am a Christian, and people automatically go, oh, okay, I kind of know where you're coming from. | ||
| I can see where you are. | ||
| And now I like that you can predict me because you'll like me better. | ||
| We don't have to talk about it. | ||
| You just know all that. | ||
| Yeah, I'll reinforce those patterns in your head, and I'll say some things that I've repeated things that I've heard other people say about God and Jesus and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's a nice way to kill time. | ||
| It's not a bad way. | ||
| You know, believing in God and going to church. | ||
| It's a great way. | ||
| You kill time until death nullifies all meaning. | ||
| Well, I think the community thing of it is a good thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think there's some really powerful bonding experiences that people have when they agree to be humble together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're describing curling. | ||
| Curling. | ||
| Curling, another great Canadian thing. | ||
| That's a sport. | ||
| There's two C words in Canada that are very popular. | ||
| Cunt and curling. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| And there's no way... | ||
| Cunt's curling is one of the top TV shows. | ||
| You cannot rise to the tops of curling without humbling yourself. | ||
| Because you humble yourself the minute you say... | ||
| I'm going to go curling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| When you pick up that brush with a big smile on your face, you decide to sweep ice. | ||
| I've tried curling, man. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Which still doesn't make it a sport. | ||
| I made fun of it in Newfoundland, and they fucking got so mad at me. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Don't make fun of curling, man. | ||
| The arena, the theater where I was at, I had these pictures of curlers on the wall, and I just could not stop shitting on them. | ||
| Did you get booed? | ||
| They were like, hey! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| They were legitimately upset. | ||
| I'm like, it is a proposition. | ||
| You know it and I know it. | ||
| You're sliding a rock on the ice. | ||
| It used to be a reason to drink. | ||
| That's what curling was, where everybody would get together and get wasted. | ||
| And you don't fall very far on the ice because you're already squatting. | ||
| And the other people are leaning against brooms. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You've got a broom to lean against. | ||
| It's great for drinking. | ||
| It's also like when you fall on ice, it's almost always funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always. | |
| It's never funny. | ||
| No one kind of catches himself. | ||
| You don't gently fall. | ||
| Trying to get up is good, too. | ||
| You don't fall elegantly on ice. | ||
| You can go hiking and slip a little and catch yourself. | ||
| But even when you're watching the NHL and you'll see players that will just fall down for no reason. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| These are the best Gators in the world and they're just going to fall down. | ||
| That guy just fell on his ass. | ||
| He's a professional athlete. | ||
| If I ran ahead with a Volkswagen, I couldn't knock him over. | ||
| But he just fell. | ||
| How long has curling been around? | ||
| Hundreds and hundreds. | ||
| It's a Scottish sport. | ||
| It's a Scottish sport where they used to use actual rocks they'd find in fields. | ||
| And played on frozen lakes. | ||
| Because that's the only kind they have in Scotland. | ||
| Our frozen ones. | ||
| How's that Loch Ness Monster getting around? | ||
| He's a wonderful curler. | ||
| David, are you Scottish, I believe? | ||
| I'm from... | ||
| Yeah, I've got the... | ||
| My wife is also part Scottish. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of Scottish people in Canada. | ||
| So you can see why curling would be popular. | ||
| Yeah, very, very Scottish country, Canada. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| That's why there's so many gourds and crags. | ||
| Gord, eh? | ||
| Gord Johnson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Gordy. | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That would be a Scottish word, right? | ||
| Scottish, yeah. | ||
| Gordon. | ||
| Gordon. | ||
| Yeah, and of course, because of Gordie Howe, everyone named their kids Gord in the 60s. | ||
| I went to school with a guy named Gregor. | ||
| I mean, that was his first name. | ||
| Gregor? | ||
| Gregor. | ||
| I know a guy named Gregor. | ||
| Gregor Gillespie fights in the UFC. Okay. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| Different kind of Gregor, probably. | ||
| Yeah, it's a savage. | ||
| Can I just give one interesting UFC memory for me? | ||
| Please. | ||
| I watched the very first UFC 1 with, I had a troop at the time and we invited- A Boy Scout troop? | ||
| It wasn't, it was a comedy troop. | ||
| We dressed as Boy Scouts. | ||
| But we invited Neil Patrick Harris over, who was 20 years old at the time he was in town. | ||
| We just met him. | ||
| And he came over, and as soon as the sumo wrestler got his face kicked in and spit a tooth out, I believe, he was like, I'm out of here! | ||
| I gotta get out! | ||
| And we made him stay and watch the whole thing. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| And that's what made him gay. | ||
| Well, thanks for ruining the story, Dave. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| I don't know if it works like that. | ||
| Something happened. | ||
| Yeah, maybe someone dropped him on his head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think he knows. | ||
| He looked like he was alright as a kid. | ||
| Something went wrong. | ||
| Or right. | ||
| Depending on if you're his boyfriend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| It depends if he's a good boyfriend, really. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I guess. | ||
| But, I mean, if the boyfriend is really into him. | ||
| Husband. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If that guy's really into him, I'd be like, thank God you watched that fight that time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God, thank God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Otherwise, you could have wasted your time with some chick. | |
| Who knows what could happen? | ||
| Making babies and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| So did you have to get remarried? | ||
| Or did you just pretend you never got divorced? | ||
| Chrissy and I never got around to getting divorced because we're bad at paperwork. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, so we separated. | ||
| We actually filed for divorce once but screwed up the paperwork somehow. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then we just never got around to it again. | ||
| You just didn't fix it and refile it? | ||
| Yeah, I'm not good with organizing. | ||
| So we were just separated for, you know, for a long time. | ||
| It's funny because Chrissy's very organized. | ||
| She is, yeah. | ||
| Seems like maybe... | ||
| Same with Jackie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jackie's very organized. | |
| Maybe she's the one who wasn't willing to let go. | ||
| Oh, you know? | ||
| She was telling you something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| She was telling you something, Dave. | ||
| Clearly, yeah. | ||
| We used to go on vacation with them when they were divorced. | ||
| They would go together. | ||
| Yeah, we did all our family trips together. | ||
| They did all family trips. | ||
| They weren't together. | ||
| Well, the first two years, we didn't do much together. | ||
| No, the dark years. | ||
| The dark years. | ||
| But then, yeah, that's why we kept doing all of our family trips together. | ||
| We go to Hawaii. | ||
| It's like they were still married. | ||
| All of us. | ||
| And so when we finally did get back together, it was really just so... | ||
| It was mostly about the convenience of our friends. | ||
| It was just like, you know, this is going to make everyone else's life easier. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because they don't, you know... | ||
| Well, we didn't have to go to two houses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which I hated. | ||
| That's so Canadian of you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So polite. | ||
| That's what a Canadian does. | ||
| He's... | ||
| Doesn't get divorced. | ||
| How long have you been married now? | ||
| Ten years. | ||
| That's the only time you've ever been married. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank God. | |
| Thank the baby Jesus. | ||
| Oh my God, yes. | ||
| Praise Jesus. | ||
| Stunned that it's working. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| If it works, it's great. | ||
| I always tell people don't do it. | ||
| It's too risky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 50% of the people don't make it. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a good rate of success. | ||
| Would you drive a car if you knew that 50% likely you would die in a crash? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it was an institution that made sense when you're only going to live to be 40. Well, it makes sense. | ||
| There's some parts of it that make sense. | ||
| The problem is that it's become a business. | ||
| And it's become a business for people to try to squeeze his... | ||
| Like, I'll never forget trying to talk Phil into getting divorced. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I go, just give her half. | ||
| And he goes, it's not half. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's two-thirds. | |
| It's a scam. | ||
| The fucking lawyers get a third. | ||
| They give away two-thirds. | ||
| I mean, he was fucking freaking out about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's true. | ||
| And he could have lived nicely on that third. | ||
| He should have given her that... | ||
| I don't think that, I mean, the word was that that's why she killed him, that he was leaving, that he was finally leaving, and then that's when she killed him. | ||
| But when we were together with him, there was always days where he would come to the set and just be just in hell. | ||
| Oh, yeah, well, yeah, and he wouldn't, well, he'd just be on the floor of the studio, like, ranting about, you know, I'm living in my boat. | ||
| Yeah, he lived in his boat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was rough, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you would come back like a day later and it'd be, I'm back together with my blushing bride. | ||
| That's the exact quote. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the exact quote. | ||
| And we'd all just be going, oh, this isn't... | ||
| Yeah, it was poor bastard. | ||
| Although none of... | ||
| The weird thing in Israel, there was not one good marriage on the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like everyone was going through a terrible marriage at the time. | ||
| I was proud that I was one person who wasn't on antidepressants. | ||
| Super psyched about that. | ||
| I wasn't on any pills and I wasn't in therapy. | ||
| But I probably needed it. | ||
| I think we all did. | ||
| But yeah, I mean, I remember when we started, I think it was the second season we came back and Steve Root had gotten divorced. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was the first one to get divorced. | ||
| I mean, I think everyone figured it would be me or Phil would get divorced first. | ||
| Not Steven. | ||
| And then Maura. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But Steve, yeah, we didn't know how bad it was for Steve, I guess. | ||
| It's hard out there. | ||
| It's hard to make it. | ||
| Hard for people to stay together, be nice to each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They say it takes work, but it actually takes work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It does take work. | ||
| You waited until you were an adult, too, which is good. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people get married before they're adults. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I think you should wait until you know who the fuck you are. | ||
| And still, I'm still guessing. | ||
| Even to this day, I'm guessing who I am. | ||
| Literally, my dad, almost on his deathbed, told me, Don't do it. | ||
| You can't get married until you're 30. That's a good move. | ||
| That's a good dad. | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| I got married at 30. But he was like, don't do it. | ||
| Don't do it before 30. Because you don't know who you are. | ||
| You don't know what's going on. | ||
| Well, I've seen too many predatory marriages. | ||
| I've seen women marry men that don't really like because they know the man has money, and I've seen the opposite. | ||
| It's just such a weird thing when you enter into contractual agreement about romance. | ||
| It's not just, I love you, you love me. | ||
| Let's have a celebration of our love and let's invite our friends over and tell everybody we've decided to engage each other in this very special commitment. | ||
| But then you start bringing in lawyers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then it gets weird. | ||
| And then, you know, you have weird state-by-state laws where there's common law marriages if you live with someone for 10 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That might have been where humanity went wrong was when the first guys said, I'm going to be a lawyer. | ||
| Like, that was his decision. | ||
| I'm looking around and I think, yeah, there's a lot of ugliness in the world. | ||
| Yeah, when was the first lawyer? | ||
| What was the first lawyer? | ||
| There's a series of laws, right? | ||
| The first lawyers had to have been priests, right? | ||
| I would guess so, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the laws initially were basically lawyers, right? | ||
| What is the Pharisees? | ||
| The Jewish priests. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| That does make a lot of sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably a lot of my relatives. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When did it become a thing where you would go to law school and it was a respectable occupation and it would be good to know a good lawyer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think those things started out as not respectable, and people did them because they didn't have any other choice. | ||
| And then they realized, oh, they're making all the money, you know? | ||
| And then it became respectable. | ||
| Well, once they figured out there's all these legalese and loopholes in the system, there's ways to extract money. | ||
| You just got to be Weasley about it. | ||
| And then they invent a whole language to exclude anyone else from understanding it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think they billed hourly back then, still? | ||
| Yeah, but then again, time hadn't been codified. | ||
| Oh, so what did they bill by? | ||
| An hour was basically decided by community standards. | ||
| When was time codified? | ||
| When the railroads came in. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Well, that's when time zones were created. | ||
| Time zones were created by the railroads. | ||
| So everybody was on a different time zone until then? | ||
| Every town set its own time. | ||
| You could drive from Denver to Fort Collins and the two cities would be in completely different times. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And how you sync up your watch with the town clock? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have the clock in the main square, and that would be the time. | ||
| Your pocket watch? | ||
| That's the time. | ||
| But when they started having to schedule railroads, they realized, well, all these towns... | ||
| And then they started having huge competitions to invent ways of synchronizing clocks between cities. | ||
| So did they use a sundial to get the initial reading? | ||
| I think it really was just as simple as, we'll call this midnight. | ||
| Or we'll call this noon, you know, and then they just went from there. | ||
| And none of the clocks were that accurate, so time would shift over time. | ||
| So it became, that was like in, like the 19th century was a huge move to try and find a way to synchronize clocks. | ||
| And that drove, kind of drove a lot of the beginnings of technology. | ||
| Do you remember when you were a kid, you would call a phone number to get the time? | ||
| Always. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| The exact time. | ||
| The weather as well sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, but the time they give you... | ||
| The time is exactly... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 4.59 in 35 seconds. | ||
| Well, and in Canada, at 1 o'clock every day, they had the national time tone, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| At the succession of the long beep, it will be exactly 1 p.m. | ||
| It was on TV. On radio and TV. Why 1 p.m.? | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that's when they would do it. | ||
| At 1 p.m. | ||
| every day, the CBC would broadcast a tone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that was the time for the whole country. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I never would have guessed that time zones are created by the railroads. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it totally makes sense. | ||
| You can't have a schedule without everybody on the same time, right? | ||
| Because before that, nobody went anywhere. | ||
| You know Arizona still doesn't do daylight savings time? | ||
| They're like, fuck you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's stupid. | ||
| They're allowed to do that? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| If you drive from Nevada to Arizona... | ||
| You miss an hour. | ||
| They aren't the only state. | ||
| Isn't there another state that doesn't... | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Hawaii doesn't... | ||
| Hawaii? | ||
| Good for them! | ||
| Hawaii gets to do what they want. | ||
| They're an island. | ||
| We stole Hawaii. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That island is theirs. | ||
| That's a fucking country that we occupy with hotels. | ||
| You feel it when you're there. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| It's got its own feeling. | ||
| The rest of it was given to us by God. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's Manifest Destiny, correct? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| The rest of it. | ||
| But not Hawaii. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because that came, that's late. | ||
| That was late in the game. | ||
| Well, there's no single, like, there's no state where the people are so clearly, like, their ethnicity is so clearly defined. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like, they're Polynesian looking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| They're a completely different culture. | ||
| It's not like North Dakota or fucking Florida or some shit. | ||
| It's like, they're a different thing. | ||
| They're not from the European, you know, heritage. | ||
| There's an interesting debate going on about what is... | ||
| California moves towards permanent daylight savings time. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Does that mean every day we get to get up an hour early? | ||
| Yes, every day is earlier. | ||
| Earlier and earlier and earlier. | ||
| The majority of Arizona is on permanent standard time, and the year-round daylight savings time is followed by Hawaii and the territories of the American Samoa. | ||
| Oh, Guam. | ||
| And minor outlying islands. | ||
| Well, I say California, let's be really bold and go for permanent daylight. | ||
| Like in Alaska. | ||
| Like in Alaska, exactly. | ||
| Just give up on night. | ||
| Well, and then just everybody wants to kill themselves when it's nighttime now. | ||
| There's an interesting debate going on in Hawaii right now as to what is an invasive species. | ||
| Because so much of the wildlife in Hawaii was brought over. | ||
| And so there's some debate on certain islands where they want to eliminate the wild pigs because they say they're an invasive species. | ||
| And then the people are saying, but hold on, because we kind of came after a lot of these wild pigs. | ||
| Like a lot of the wild pigs were dropped off by pirates. | ||
| Like pirates and people that were in boating, that were traveling by boat across the world, they would drop off goats and pigs on various islands so they would have something to hunt when they would come back for food because they knew that this would be a stop along their route. | ||
| Which is clever. | ||
| It is clever, but it ruined a lot of islands, especially the goats. | ||
| It just destroyed a lot of islands. | ||
| And now there's, in Hawaii, there's a lot of mongoose. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, they brought mongoose in at some point. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| It was to control the rabbit population, or the rats. | ||
| I think it was to control the rats that came in, again, from shipping. | ||
| And then the mongoose probably started eating everything else. | ||
| And now the mongoose are just all over the place, yeah. | ||
| Mongoose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was on an Alaska holiday, and I made a joke about, you know, I'm looking for beavers, because I didn't think there were beavers in Alaska, because it's too cold. | ||
| They said, no. | ||
| The last ten years, we've got tons of beavers here because of global warming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Beavers everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're moving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Beavers are migrating north. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alaska's a fascinating place. | ||
| I've never been. | ||
| If you go there in the summer, you have never seen more aggressive mosquitoes. | ||
| It's like they know they only have two months to live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so, you get out of your car, they swarm you like a cloud. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I've never seen anything like it in my life. | ||
| You would think tropical weather, that's where the mosquitoes are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, Alaska. | ||
| They're fucking ferocious, and they're huge. | ||
| Yeah, I'm actually going to go there in November, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah? | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| Doing the touring with Who's Live Anyway. | ||
| It's like an improv tour. | ||
| So, who's live anyway? | ||
| Like a takeoff of whose line is it anyway? | ||
| Yeah, it's like Greg Proops and Jeff Davis from that show. | ||
| Oh, I love Greg. | ||
| Yeah, so Greg and Jeff and Joel Murray. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| And me, I guess. | ||
| Joel Murray's Bill Murray's brother, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So it's like a rotating... | ||
| So those three guys are the core, and then there's Ryan Stiles, myself, Drew Carey, and... | ||
| And Chip Esten. | ||
| Sort of rotate through. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Drew Carey might be the nicest person that's ever lived. | ||
| I don't know him well. | ||
| He might be the nicest guy ever. | ||
| He's fucking so nice. | ||
| He put us out of work. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah, I remember it was the Drew Carey show that finally got NewsRadio cancelled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I thought it was Phil getting murdered. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Remember, we did a whole year after that. | ||
| Yeah, but I think that was what it was. | ||
| I don't think they wanted to do it anymore after that. | ||
| Yeah, but I think our ratings tanked when they put us up against Drew Carey. | ||
| Our ratings are always shit. | ||
| That's the most amazing thing is that the ratings were really great once we got canceled and then it was on TV like they would show the reruns and people go, oh, this is a funny show. | ||
| Yeah, they found it. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I remember Lou Morton, one of our writers, he'd show up at the reed with a different number on his shirt every week when we were in the real shitter, when we were falling apart. | ||
| Number 98 out of 100 shows. | ||
| 88 was one day. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| I go, is that real? | ||
| He's like, yeah. | ||
| Like, have the shirt made? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, he would draw it. | ||
| Basically a sweatshirt with a marker on it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He would just show up with this fucking number on his shirt. | ||
| And I was like, 88? | ||
| He's like, yeah. | ||
| It's a source of pride when you can still be hanging on. | ||
| The one year that I thought we weren't going to get canceled was the year we got canceled. | ||
| I was like, well, we're doing pretty good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, actually, our ratings were alright. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a five-year show, right? | ||
| Five years? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But much like the whole, like, we never really hit 100 episodes. | ||
| We got to like 98. 97. 97? | ||
| 97 because NBC didn't own it. | ||
| So they did that with a bunch of shows they didn't own. | ||
| They do that on purpose for that year? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Syndication? | |
| About four or five shows they canceled at 97 episodes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it's a hundred, it goes into syndication, is that right? | ||
| It used to be the rule, yeah. | ||
| But now, syndication doesn't really exist anymore. | ||
| Well, the weirdest one was the Charlie Sheen model that they did with that anger management show, where they devised a whole new system. | ||
| 90-10. | ||
| Yeah, if the first couple episodes do well, fuck it. | ||
| We order 100. Yes, and they produce them all in a year. | ||
| Yes, they just smashed them together. | ||
| They wrote it within five minutes and started filming. | ||
| They were filming and writing on the fly. | ||
| Everything was dog shit. | ||
| And Charlie makes an old load of money. | ||
| And they shot like four episodes a week. | ||
| They paid Charlie in crack. | ||
| They just pushed thousands of dollars worth of crack into his account. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had one of those old-timey ice guys that used to deliver ice delivered the crack thing to his door. | ||
| Here's the thing they haven't solved. | ||
| You can't get crack out of an ATM machine yet. | ||
| No, not anymore. | ||
| You can get pot out of one now. | ||
| You can get pot out of a dispensary machine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In California? | |
| That's good. | ||
| I don't know where. | ||
| Find out where they are. | ||
| They do have marijuana dispensary machines. | ||
| You must have to show some sort of proof of age. | ||
| But I guess if you just have your... | ||
| If you have a passport... | ||
| Driver's license or something? | ||
| Yeah, a passport or a driver's license. | ||
| Like, if you can read a passport, they have a machine that reads a passport at the airport, you know, when you go through, if you have, like, global entry. | ||
| They got the face recognition thing, too. | ||
| I got the clear. | ||
| Yeah, I got that. | ||
| Fingerprint one. | ||
| That's nice, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Global Entry is the best, though, because you don't have to fuck with that giant line. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I should have got that. | ||
| I got the stupid TSA. Got it. | ||
| Global Entry is great because it comes with TSA Pre. | ||
| Yeah, I got the TSA. See, I'm getting angry again. | ||
| I got the Clear. | ||
| God, that makes me mad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ultimate combo is TSA, Pre, and Clear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they just do the fingerprints, boom, and then they push you right into the line. | ||
| Sounds like venereal disease. | ||
| The nice people walk you. | ||
| They walk you all the way to... | ||
| TSA pre and clear. | ||
| Clear. | ||
| Not TSA pre, but clear. | ||
| The nice people walk you all the way over to the conveyor belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to be blocked. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you can't... | |
| And you can't... | ||
| You have the option of actually pissing on the people that you're passing. | ||
| Can you seriously do that? | ||
| You piss on their feet because they don't have any shoes on. | ||
| Oh my god, I have to get this. | ||
| That sounds fantastic. | ||
| I don't have to get that. | ||
| But then, yeah, I don't go out of the country that much. | ||
| But then you have to travel somewhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't? | |
| No, not much. | ||
| I mean, to Canada, but that doesn't really matter. | ||
| That's in the country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's still in this country. | ||
| Well, you could always go through the woods to get to Canada. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| People would talk about the border. | ||
| The border is a hundred yard clear cut, is most of the border with Canada. | ||
| It's just a hundred yard clear cut in the forest. | ||
| So it's actually cut? | ||
| Yeah, they just cut the trees down. | ||
| It's like a hundred yards wide, and that's the border. | ||
| All across from one end to the other? | ||
| Not only is it, it's actually easier to cross the border than the surrounding area. | ||
| Yeah, because the surrounding area is all forest. | ||
| Now, do they actually maintain that cut? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So every year, someone's job is to cut down the trees for a hundred yard space between the United States and Canada. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's most of the Canadian border. | ||
| Just to let you know, if you're a criminal and you cross here, additional charges will apply. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because now you've fled the country. | ||
| Well, have you ever seen the footage of refugees coming into Canada? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And the Mounties are just there going, now you understand that when you cross over here, we will be arresting you. | ||
| There's, look at it, that's the line. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| Oh my god, it's an actual line. | ||
| The 49th parallel, it says. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| I bet that's a... | ||
| You need two passports to walk back to. | ||
| So there, there, America. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| There's where your terror should lie. | ||
| That's the opposite of a wall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's an actual welcoming path. | ||
| That's actually, yeah. | ||
| That shows how much we like Canada. | ||
| Yeah, or how little you think about it. | ||
| Making it easier to cross. | ||
| Yeah, we'll make it really... | ||
| Make it super easy. | ||
| It's easier. | ||
| That 100-yard stretch is like, ah! | ||
| Don't trip, eh? | ||
| Relax yourself. | ||
| You're about to hit paradise. | ||
| And most of the visa overstays are Canadian, which is the bulk of illegal immigration in America, is Canadians overstaying their visas. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| I've done that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a giant part of it, right? | ||
| I mean, we all overstay our welcome. | ||
| Always. | ||
| British folks, too. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no one cares. | ||
| But the thing is... | ||
| People don't think about Canada. | ||
| There's a lot of people in this country from a lot of other countries that just keep their fucking mouth shut. | ||
| No one knows. | ||
| Like, whenever they say they know, like, they take an estimate on how many illegal aliens, I'm like, that's a guess. | ||
| You just guessed. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I was just thinking you actually had, was it, Brian Cox on? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And he said when you talk about the size of the universe, most of it's just a guess. | ||
| Based on the observable universe, based on the number of galaxies they can see, they're just guessing how many galaxies there are. | ||
| I think that's the same with illegal immigration. | ||
| You're just going, well, average. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think you're more likely to be accurate with illegal immigration than you are with stars. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, I think the star thing, the problem is, now I'll butcher this, but I think it's that literally we don't have the capability to look past 13 point whatever billion years. | ||
| Yes, the big bang. | ||
| So if they look and they go, oh no, there's just like a big space, and then if you go 18 more billion years back, there's a thriving community of galaxies. | ||
| There's a whole other galaxy. | ||
| That's distance in time, but then just the sheer vastness of the sky, they've only actually looked at a fraction of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, talking to a guy like him is so amazing because you realize, like, okay, well, there's different kinds of humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's humans that are actually studying these insanely complicated equations that are trying to prove the very nature of reality itself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's chimps like me who are just listening going, oh, okay, okay, so real big? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Big, big? | |
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| So how do we know? | ||
| How do we know what started? | ||
| There was a bang? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| What started the bang, Mr. Smarty Pants? | ||
| But Brian Cox, he's innovative in that he is an astrophysicist and he looks like a young David Cassidy. | ||
| And he's a musician. | ||
| Is he a musician? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's dreamy. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy, too. | ||
| I have a crush on him. | ||
| I had a crush on him, too. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's a super sweetheart of a guy, too. | ||
| I've never met him, but I love watching him on TV. I did his podcast once, the live version of it, which is interesting. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And he apparently has a new show that's coming here that I'll go with. | ||
| His touring show? | ||
| Come with. | ||
| Yeah, I'd love to. | ||
| He has a gigantic screen behind him filled with interlocking LED screens that apparently it's like this unbelievably gorgeous high-definition version of the Cosmos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it's created by the same people who did that movie with... | ||
| Which one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interstellar. | |
| Interstellar, yeah. | ||
| It's created by, and it's accurate. | ||
| The CGI is actually accurate according to his type of equations. | ||
| He worked at CERN. He's amazing. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| And he's a legit beautiful man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Long rock star here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a rock star. | |
| He does a band. | ||
| He was in a band in the 80s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| No, he was a legit rock star. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, genius rock star. | ||
| Good luck, guys. | ||
| That guy's trying to fuck your wife, you got a real problem. | ||
| I think he was in Scritty Politty. | ||
| Is that what the band was? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Someone should chart that. | ||
| Why are astrophysicists getting cuter? | ||
| I mean, you start with Stephen Hawking, then you get to, what's his name, Green. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Neil deGrasse Tyson. | ||
| He's a handsome man. | ||
| Charming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Good laugh. | ||
| You didn't have to be pretty in the old days. | ||
| No. | ||
| That position of science communicator is so effective. | ||
| It's so important because most of that stuff is so dry and so difficult to wrap your head around. | ||
| You need someone entertaining. | ||
| Weaning, yes. | ||
| Someone engaging that can deliver that. | ||
| With Brian, he's so nice. | ||
| He's so smiley and he enjoys it so much and he loves talking about it so much that it becomes infectious. | ||
| There's a lot of that stuff that's very difficult to follow when you try to read the papers. | ||
| I read the Stephen Hawking books and I would zone out so much while I was trying to comprehend what was going on. | ||
| I had Lawrence Krauss on and I was trying to get him to explain certain formulas and even when he's explaining them to you it doesn't seem to click. | ||
| It's like someone trying to explain French words to you by only speaking to you in French. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're like, okay, but I don't speak French. | ||
| And you're like, yeah, well, you're fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As soon as you say infinity, that's only a mathematical idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, how can anything be infinite? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I mean, in math, you can say that a straight line goes on forever, and two parallel lines will never intersect. | ||
| Well, like, pi is theoretically infinite. | ||
| You know, it never ends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, why is that difficult to grasp, though? | ||
| That's the real question. | ||
| Like, why do we need everything to be defined by a very obvious beginning and an end? | ||
| Because everything we experience has a beginning and an end. | ||
| Biologically, too. | ||
| Because we experience time. | ||
| Time is not experienced everywhere the same way. | ||
| Well, time isn't experienced at all if you're not sentient. | ||
| True. | ||
| Or if you live in Arizona. | ||
| They whack it off. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| I always wondered if there was a reason why we wanted things to have a beginning and an end. | ||
| Is it because we have our life, and our life has a beginning and an end, all the lives of the people we know? | ||
| Well, we definitely have an end. | ||
| I guess people are obsessed with that. | ||
| Do we want things to have a beginning and an end, or are we terrified of beginnings and ends? | ||
| I thought, too. | ||
| Just the thought of an end is terrible. | ||
| That's why we create... | ||
| You know, gods and religions is because the idea that life ends and that it's all been for nothing is terrifying to people. | ||
| There's a little bit of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a little bit of, like, doing it to create order in the community, and there's a little bit of people find mushrooms and they need an explanation what the fuck they're feeling. | ||
| It's like our brains are constructed in such a way that we need an end. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or else you don't understand, where am I now? | ||
| If there's no end. | ||
| My very uninformed theory, which is that First off, that everything is meaningless, but that only the brain damaged are capable of conceiving of meaninglessness, because our brains are meaning machines. | ||
| And that we evolved, and it gave us an evolutionary advantage that we give meaning to things. | ||
| Like I said, this is a table because we say it's a table. | ||
| It's not a table to a cat. | ||
| That's why a cat will just get up and walk around on it. | ||
| It's because it's from a mutual agreement. | ||
| Yeah, we agree this is a table. | ||
| And that kind of meaning, let us organize our lives, let us be better hunters. | ||
| You know what constantly occurs to me and bothers me is that we decide not to drive into each other because we've painted a little line on a road down the middle. | ||
| We've all agreed not to cross that line. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| We ascribe meaning to objects and that gave us an advantage over other animals. | ||
| And so our brains just evolved. | ||
| And then when we got to the point where we realized we're going to die, we go, well, there's got to be some meaning there, too. | ||
| So then we had to create myths that created meaning about our lives. | ||
| That's the dangerous loop of there's no meaning to everything and nothing has meaning. | ||
| That's a dangerous loop for a person psychologically because you can get stuck in that and you can really... | ||
| But I don't think you can because it's impossible to conceive of unless you are seriously brain damaged. | ||
| Well, no, I don't think it's impossible to conceive. | ||
| You can intellectually think about it, but you can't grasp it, really. | ||
| Isn't living in the now kind of the same as life has no meaning? | ||
| No, the opposite. | ||
| No, you're not thinking about the fact that it has no meaning. | ||
| You're enjoying the meaning. | ||
| You're enjoying the meaning? | ||
| You're enjoying life. | ||
| You're enjoying experience. | ||
| You're enjoying each interaction with people. | ||
| You're enjoying your thoughts. | ||
| I think the problem that people have is like, what's the point? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| That what's the point thought, that's a weird loop. | ||
| And that's the thing is it doesn't really matter. | ||
| Because you're going to create a point anyway. | ||
| I mean, there was an existential psychology, there's like five different ways people describe meaning. | ||
| Metaphysical meaning, reproductive meaning, biological meaning, or creative meaning, like the works you do. | ||
| That somehow you live on in all these different ways. | ||
| A lot of atheists tend to be artists who believe that they live on through their work, which is totally as stupid as believing in God. | ||
| It's definitely silly. | ||
| I mean, obviously someone's going to enjoy your work, but I think the real meaning is in creating the work, and then the fact that people are going to enjoy it. | ||
| If you're doing it because you want it to live on forever, you're a moron. | ||
| Yeah, good luck with that. | ||
| Because there's no forever for the whole planet. | ||
| But I just think meaning is an inescapable product of the human mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One example is like they did a study where they went all like into the jungles of the Amazon to people who have never had any contact with the modern world and they drew a circle with two dots and a curved line and everyone sees a face. | ||
| Everyone sees a face. | ||
| The only people who don't see a face are people who have been brain damaged and can no longer form the meaning. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| So there are people who suffer brain damage. | ||
| But doesn't that correspond to their own artwork? | ||
| Because their artwork is very similar to our artwork in the fact that stick figures and they represent humans and the circle represents a head. | ||
| Yeah, all that stuff. | ||
| But they probably haven't had the happy face t-shirt. | ||
| I had lunch with Eric Von Daniken last week. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Very interesting. | ||
| Very weird. | ||
| He's the guy who wrote Chariots of the Gods. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In his 80s now. | ||
| Staple book in our house. | ||
| And he was showing us slides. | ||
| What's the real story there? | ||
| I was wondering. | ||
| Mostly nonsense, unfortunately. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Yeah, mostly what it is is evidence of lost civilizations. | ||
| Ancient civilizations that were incredibly advanced. | ||
| I follow the work of Graham Hancock and Randall Carlson and a few other people that are being proven actually correct more and more, almost on a daily basis, by new discoveries that show that civilization predates what we initially thought. | ||
| It goes way back farther. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The initial thought was that somewhere around the Great Pyramids, which is like 2500 BC, that was about as good as anybody got. | ||
| You go back to like ancient Sumer, which is about 6,000 years ago, and then that's basically it. | ||
| What they're saying is that, no, there was most likely a reset, a global reset of civilization due to a cataclysmic disaster, and there's a shit ton of evidence. | ||
| there's massive evidence in the form of this nuclear glass that exists when there's astroidal impacts and um also there's a guy named dr robert shock was one of the first guys to propose this it's actually when he freaked me out on the podcast he said there was a mass coronal ejection that most likely caused lightning storms like a rainstorm but lightning like that much lightning destroying the ground and that the only people that survive are people that could get undercover that could get into like caves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mass extinction of 60 plus percent of the large mammals in a very short window of time, almost instantaneously in North America. | ||
| The end of the ice age, like 10,000 plus years ago, there was a mile high ice in most of North America. | ||
| Most of North America covered in ice, and then, gone. | ||
| And all these areas, all these points of interest point to this one moment in time that's somewhere between 10,000 and 12,000 years ago that some big event happened, and that most likely just crippled civilization, and then people had to rebuild. | ||
| Whatever people were around, rebuild. | ||
| Because also, they found just looking at DNA that All of humanity at one point got wiped out except for like one village. | ||
| Everyone has descended from the same group of about 5,000 people. | ||
| Well, there was a super volcano that erupted somewhere around 70,000 years ago. | ||
| They think this is predating this cataclysmic disaster of 12,000 years ago. | ||
| That they are pretty sure wiped human beings down to a few thousand folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Where is that one? | ||
| Is that like... | ||
| I want to say, where's that super volcano? | ||
| There's a super volcano that knocked everybody down. | ||
| We'll find it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've got one under Yosemite, right? | ||
| Or Yellowstone. | ||
| Yellowstone. | ||
| It's a caldera. | ||
| Yellowstone's going to get us all. | ||
| Every six to eight hundred thousand years, it blows. | ||
| I think we're due, right? | ||
| That's why I don't go camping. | ||
| Don't go camping. | ||
| That might not be the worst place to go. | ||
| Go camping. | ||
| Be over in a second. | ||
| That way when it ends, it ends quick. | ||
| You don't want to be living in New York. | ||
| Just choking on toxic fumes. | ||
| Just a cloud of dust. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| Watching people eat homeless folks in the street. | ||
| There's no good place. | ||
| You can do that now in New York. | ||
| Well, there's also things that fly through space. | ||
| Zip by, you know, like, they're constantly finding these things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the thing, well, these things, the Eric Von Danica thing, I remember as a kid going, my problem was that they kept showing all these massive paintings that can only be seen from the sky, so therefore there must have been drawn for aliens, and I kept going, well... | ||
| No, if you believe God is looking down on you, you're going to draw big paintings for God to look at. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you don't need that. | ||
| But now I'm more – the thing I've become obsessed with lately is the skepticism about UFOs. | ||
| Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you about this, because you told me that you've become obsessed with UFOs recently. | ||
| Oh, yeah, completely. | ||
| Believer? | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I totally believe the UFO phenomenon is real. | ||
| I don't know what it is, but it's totally, it has to be real. | ||
| Something's happened. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Because there's just way too much evidence that it is real. | ||
| What evidence? | ||
| Well, radar evidence that the F-16 locked on a UFO, that footage. | ||
| And also just, like I know a friend of ours, I don't know if she wanted to say it, but her father was an air traffic controller. | ||
| And he told her, they said, yeah, every air traffic controller has seen something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I had another friend whose father was a commercial pilot. | ||
| And she said, yeah. | ||
| My dad said, every single pilot has seen something. | ||
| And they've all been told not to say anything about it. | ||
| We have a couple of friends that say they were abducted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the abducted one is a little easier to wrap your head around. | ||
| Because when you're sleeping, your brain is producing all sorts of endogenous psychedelic chemicals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Almost all of these experiences happen when you're sleeping. | ||
| Almost all these experiences when these people are abducted, they're taken from their beds, which is when they're dreaming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's like there's some real clear, easy steps to follow if you want to follow Occam's razor and not get crazy with it. | ||
| But it knocks those out, but it doesn't knock out like Barney and Betty Hill and all the people that are abducted will fully conscious and that remember it without hypnotherapy. | ||
| I'm not sure about the abduction phenomenon. | ||
| I don't know Barney and Betty Hill. | ||
| I know the story, but I don't know them. | ||
| So I would have to know them. | ||
| There's a lot of people that I've... | ||
| I did a show for SyFy called Joe Rogan Questions Everything. | ||
| And that cured me. | ||
| That show cured me of a lot of my nonsense with conspiracies. | ||
| Well, we used to talk about that stuff all the time. | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| Yeah, but I needed to actually study it. | ||
| So for six months, that's basically all I did. | ||
| I interviewed people, like Bigfoot believers, UFO believers, and the one thing that they have in common is they all seem to be kind of lost and dependent upon this thing being real. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Instead of being objective, there's only one lady that I interviewed that saw Bigfoot that really seemed to be telling the truth. | ||
| But I think she saw a bear. | ||
| Bears walk on two feet all the time. | ||
| They do it all the time. | ||
| There's video footage. | ||
| You can find it all the time. | ||
| And she was in the Pacific Northwest, which is incredibly dense woods. | ||
| You see something, you glimpse it. | ||
| Look, I was hunting once in Canada, in Alberta, and I thought I saw a wolf for like two seconds. | ||
| It was a squirrel. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Understand this. | ||
| A very big squirrel? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| Wolf? | ||
| No, it's squirrel. | ||
| No, I just saw fur. | ||
| I saw fur, and I was... | ||
| Because it's really dense woods. | ||
| Because I was looking for fucking wolves. | ||
| Because I was like... | ||
| Because I know... | ||
| We did see one wolf. | ||
| It crossed the road. | ||
| It was either a wolf or a coyote. | ||
| It was hard to tell because it was at dusk. | ||
| It was very dark out. | ||
| But when you're looking for something, you think everything is that thing you're looking for. | ||
| So for a second, I thought that fucking squirrel was a wolf. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Well, expectation and perception are very linked. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, they found that 50% of everything you see is a product of memory. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That when you observe something, they've done fMRIs, and that most of the activity in the brain is in the memory centers, not in the visual centers. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Only about 50% of the activity is in the visual centers of the brain. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The UFO thing is very... | ||
| When I was a kid, I went and saw Carl Sagan speak at U of T, at the University of Toronto, and I was like, you know, 14. But he did an equation. | ||
| On the board of the possibility of alien life other than us in the universe. | ||
| And it came to the smallest, I mean, he spent the whole time writing on this chalkboard. | ||
| It was fascinating. | ||
| But he actually came up with a number at the end. | ||
| And it was such a small, he says, there is something out there, but they are so far away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That unless they can go faster than the speed of light, which he said was impossible at the time, the 70s, there's no way we've seen them. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| So if some other... | ||
| If beings have conquered the speed of light thing, then maybe we could see them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's a thing with skepticism in general is like the skeptics of the 19th century were the ones who said germs don't exist. | ||
| Right, because we can't see them. | ||
| And people who said germs did exist were ridiculed and laughed out of the trade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I agree with you completely. | ||
| Just because you can't see it or it isn't happening doesn't mean it can't happen. | ||
| And even since Sagan's day, there had been no exoplanets discovered then. | ||
| We now know that there are literally trillions and trillions of Earth-like planets. | ||
| Yeah, they just speculated as to the existence of them outside of our solar system before. | ||
| The real problem is that if some, there's a leap, and a leap, a technological leap that opens the doors to massive innovation. | ||
| That once this happens, once this happens and then all this stuff sort of exponentially expands in terms of technological possibilities, all you would need Is a few hundred years and you have an unrecognizable set of technology. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| You know, I mean... | ||
| We were talking about CERN. I mean, the whole antimatter idea that they're still trying to figure out. | ||
| That's an insane source of energy that we have never even experienced. | ||
| With a grain of sand that can run a city. | ||
| I mean, it's that big. | ||
| And there's also a theory, there's a recent one, that space-time itself doesn't exist. | ||
| So the speed of light barrier becomes moot because I guess it's the holographic, quantum hologram, quantum holographic theory of the universe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that Michael Talbot's book? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| Holographic universe, is that who wrote that? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| But the idea that the universe is basically just a geometry that when you look at it from a certain angle seems three-dimensional. | ||
| Right, and it folds into itself, so you could travel through. | ||
| That's the wormhole thing. | ||
| Well, it's not even that. | ||
| It's the idea that space-time is an illusion, and that it doesn't really exist, and that's why entanglement is possible. | ||
| You know, the idea that, you know, spooky action at a distance. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Quantum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Quantum entanglement. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But the reason that, you know, these, you know, atoms on opposite ends of the universe can affect each other instantaneously… At the same moment. | ||
| …is because they're not really at opposite ends of the universe. | ||
| They're really right next to each other. | ||
| It just seems like they're at opposite ends of the universe. | ||
| Because our ability to perceive is basically based on what we have to do to stay alive on this planet. | ||
| So our meager little chimp brains are trying to quantify all of these things that are around us all the time. | ||
| So we put them into this sort of three-dimensional box of movement and distance. | ||
| And the entire universe could be a compact thing that projects itself like a hologram. | ||
| I love these kind of conversations because I'm clearly too stupid to really understand what we're saying. | ||
| And I don't understand anything I just said. | ||
| And I don't understand you two, so how stupid does that make me? | ||
| Well, we don't understand each other. | ||
|
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This is perfect. | |
| We're all the same. | ||
| I think it would be interesting to do a document or something about ufology. | ||
| Because one thing is the assumption that they're extraterrestrial is an assumption. | ||
| But the thing that intrigues me is the power of ridicule to silence even the most intelligent people in our community from examining something. | ||
| Like, ridicule kept doctors from accepting germs. | ||
| Because they didn't want to be ridiculed by their peers. | ||
| And even now, you've got people that will, like Michael Shermer, will cling to the most absurd explanations for phenomena like the F-16 radar footage. | ||
| What was Michael Shermer's take on it? | ||
| I can't even remember it, but it really went to great lengths that entailed having to basically diminish any respect you had for any of the people who reported on the events. | ||
| It had to go into character assassination in order to eliminate it. | ||
| Well, that's the best way to kill an idea. | ||
| He's a professional skeptic, and I like Michael a lot, and he's been on the podcast many times, but I actually had him debate Randall Carlson and Graham Hancock about these ancient civilizations, and it wasn't very good for him. | ||
| There were some clunky moments. | ||
| Because skeptics are believers. | ||
| Well, the problem is they believe in skepticism. | ||
| The problem is being a skeptic itself. | ||
| It's a stupid way to look at the world. | ||
| You're actually sure about something. | ||
| I mean, you should be objective. | ||
| Don't be skeptical. | ||
| Being skeptical is like, I don't know. | ||
| I know for sure that that's not true. | ||
| But it serves a massive purpose for people that really don't understand things, and he can explain it to you with actual science. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's fine if you can pick it apart, but if you cannot, you have to be objective about the fact that, oh, well, this is a very interesting phenomenon, and this is what we know about science, and this is what we know about this thing, and right now we have a weird conundrum. | ||
| Eric Von Daniken. | ||
| Was he a believer? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| He's all in. | ||
|
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Still is. | |
| Still is. | ||
| I asked him, the first thing I asked him, I said, what is the... | ||
| Can I pause? | ||
| I desperately have to go pee. | ||
|
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No, go, go, go. | |
| The first thing I asked him was, what is the most compelling piece of evidence? | ||
| And he pointed to this Mayan stone plaque that's in Palenque. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever seen it. | ||
| It's... | ||
| Is it in the book? | ||
| Yeah, it's a god, one of their former kings that is lying on his back, and it looks like he's moving some – Jamie, see if you can find that thing. | ||
| It's this really cool carving that they found that looks like there's a guy who is in a seat, and it looks like there's fire behind his back, and you could say – You could say that he's manipulating controls on a ship and he's, you know, shooting a rocket into the heaven. | ||
| I would like to see what the... | ||
| The mainstream version of that is, because also it could just be art. | ||
| Yeah, imagination. | ||
| Yeah, it could be that they knew about certain things being propelled by fire. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| So if you see this, I mean, that's a big-ass stretch to say that guy's in a spaceship. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck that is. | ||
| He's sitting down. | ||
| Looks like an altar, kind of, to me. | ||
| It could, yeah, but it does look like he's looking through an eyepiece, right? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But what does that mean? | ||
| Is it a telescope? | ||
| Maybe he's just got a telescope. | ||
| Maybe it's just an astronomer. | ||
| Yeah, it is possible. | ||
| I don't think they had telescopes. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think a telescope was even invented until... | ||
| No. | ||
| Did they even have glass at that point? | ||
|
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|
Oh, I don't know. | |
| Well, I don't know if the Mayans did. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But that was his number one piece of evidence. | ||
| I was like, that's kind of silly. | ||
| I mean, when we were kids in the 70s, you know, Bigfoot, you know, and Chariot to the Gods, and everything was so new. | ||
| Hey, look at this image. | ||
| Look at the bottom of it. | ||
| Even the part where the flame's supposed to be coming out from below him. | ||
| Which flame? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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|
Where's the flame? | |
| Sorry, what's the flame? | ||
| I guess the flame is the shit at the very, very bottom. | ||
| But, I mean, I'm not even sure I'd buy that. | ||
| If you were going to draw fire, you'd do a really shitty job if that's your fire. | ||
| That doesn't really look like fire to me. | ||
|
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|
No. | |
| It looks like an ornate seat or something. | ||
|
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Right. | |
| Right, if that's fire, what is all the stuff around him? | ||
| What's all that stuff? | ||
| That looks kind of mechanical though, right? | ||
| It looks like there's bolts. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Did they have a fire god? | ||
| Maybe they drew the fire god. | ||
| It looks like a monkey kind of face. | ||
| With titties. | ||
| The monkey's got some titties. | ||
| Oh, now I get it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And then the monkey's... | ||
| Is that his teeth? | ||
| It's the first Hooters. | ||
| They're like arms, actually. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It could be arms. | ||
| But that's the point, is it's so open to interpretation. | ||
| There's so much that you could see if you're looking to see. | ||
| But what I do see is this guy who's... | ||
| He's reclining in an odd way. | ||
| Yeah, he's chilling, and it looks like he's looking through something. | ||
| What's that thing hanging across him? | ||
| Do you see that thing across his arms? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that is. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| I don't think anybody knows what the fuck that is. | ||
| But so for him to say that this was the number one most compelling evidence... | ||
| I mean, were people getting high at this point? | ||
|
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|
Oh, yeah. | |
| So, I mean, that could be just some guy got high and... | ||
| LSD. Carved something. | ||
| They were taking different kinds of plants that had lysergic acid in them. | ||
| I had a great tour in Chichen Itza. | ||
| We went through and we hired a guide who was a professor. | ||
| He was fantastic. | ||
| He was really good. | ||
| He really loved Mayan civilization. | ||
| He was super passionate about it. | ||
| And then when he found out that I had read a bunch of books on it, he was really excited about it, so he took us to all these different areas. | ||
| But there was one area where they had this hall where they would just get fucked up. | ||
| And he was like, this is where they would do their psychedelics. | ||
| They would take different forms of plants. | ||
| There's a bunch of different plants, like morning glory seeds. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, morning glory seeds. | ||
| The same ones you find today? | ||
| Yeah, they actually try to mute them. | ||
| A lot of people don't know that morning glory seeds actually contain, what is the active compound? | ||
| I think it's a cousin of LSD. It's something psychoactive that's very closely related. | ||
| And what they would do is they would make it, they would take the morning glory seeds, they would soak them, and I think they would smash them and make a cake and bake it. | ||
| It says they have LSA. LSA. Lessergic acid, right? | ||
| Is that lessergic acid? | ||
|
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Concentrated. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so when you buy, they've engineered morning glory seeds, many of them, to not be psychoactive. | ||
| They've done things to them because so many people in the 70s were getting high off morning glory seeds. | ||
| Oh, isn't that funny? | ||
| Yeah, Terrence McKenna, who's one of my favorite psychedelic authors, that was his first psychedelic trip. | ||
| He was a young man. | ||
| He ate morning glory seeds. | ||
| He bought them and smashed them up. | ||
| Teens trying to get high sickened after eating flower seeds. | ||
| Today's show. | ||
| What year is that? | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Two, three years ago. | ||
| Yeah, they bought flower seeds recently. | ||
| They probably heard me talk about it. | ||
| Oh, that's baby wood rose. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Morning Glory, yeah, okay, those are Morning Glory ones. | ||
| Yeah, but see... | ||
| It's better than smoking banana peels. | ||
| I don't know why they're getting sick. | ||
| They're probably pussies. | ||
| Too many. | ||
| Little bitches. | ||
| Apparently these seeds contain D-larsergic acid amide, LSA, which closely resembles LSD, but see, all of them don't have that. | ||
| Now, when they say they got sick, what did they have? | ||
| Nausea and vomiting. | ||
| Oh, they had a bad trip. | ||
| And introspection. | ||
| Oh, introspection is sickening. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, yeah, apparently that's how a lot of the Mayans used to take LSA. They used to take this stuff. | ||
| They used to take Morning Glory seeds. | ||
| And McKenna said that when he did it, he saw a lot of, like, classic Mayan iconography. | ||
| He saw, like, a lot of imagery. | ||
| So maybe that's just how it reacts with the brain. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| That's a really plausible theory. | ||
| There's another theory that's a little more slippery, and this one is very woo-woo, and the idea is that every experience that you have, like say if you take mushrooms, right? | ||
| When you're eating mushrooms, you're not just having an experience where your brain is interacting with this substance, but you are in fact experiencing all of the people that have ever interacted with this trip. | ||
| So that's one of the reasons why psilocybin is so potentially potent, is that you're not just accessing... | ||
| We're talking about morning glory seeds. | ||
|
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|
Oh, right. | |
| And people getting high on morning glory seeds. | ||
| This is something that the Mayans did. | ||
| I remember we did that when I was in high school. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| That explains a lot. | ||
| McKenna was saying that when he did it, he saw all this... | ||
| I think he said either Mayan or Egyptian iconography. | ||
| He saw a lot of like... | ||
| I've seen images that were very similar to these ancient civilizations, and the thought is that either this is what it's doing to your brain, or the more woo-woo thought is that when you are having a psychedelic experience, especially when you're consuming something like a fungus, like psilocybin, that you're not just having this experience where this chemical is interacting with your brain, But you're entering into the realm of all the previous experiences that human beings have had with this. | ||
| Which is one of the reasons why psilocybin has such a rich history. | ||
| And these are incredibly potent experiences when you do take psilocybin. | ||
| And then also ayahuasca. | ||
| Ayahuasca, yeah. | ||
| When you take that, people see jaguars and snakes and all these different things. | ||
| And so the thought behind that is that you are interacting with all the experiences that all these different people have had. | ||
| With these various substances. | ||
| Is it what's genetic inside you? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| Information is stored, yeah. | ||
| That's all just speculating. | ||
| But what's interesting is that McKenna said that ketamine, which at the time when he was alive, he died in the early, I think early 2000s, right? | ||
| I think he died in the early 2000s. | ||
| That ketamine was a weird drug to take because it seemed like no one had taken it yet. | ||
| That you would take it and it's like you were in an empty office building. | ||
| Like it's all built but there's no one in the building. | ||
| Whereas if you're taking LSD or if you're taking psilocybin, you've all these experiences that people have had. | ||
| So it's like the drug itself or the compound itself absorbs the experiences of the user and transfers them to the next user. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| Very woo-woo. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I like that idea, though. | ||
| But when you do something that's as potent as, like, psilocybin, you're open to fucking anything. | ||
| Like, if that's possible, if you can eat five grams of mushrooms and that happens, like, goddammit, I'll take whatever you got. | ||
| What else you got? | ||
| What else you tell me? | ||
| I don't know what the fuck this is. | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| And that's, yeah, I don't know who you guys are talking about. | ||
| Yeah, psilocybin... | ||
| Can treat intractable depression. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh no, it opens up doors in your brain that will always stay closed. | ||
| Yeah, you do one psilocybin trip and then for like six months their depression is completely gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My parents had a friend who was experimented on in Canada with the LSD. So she lost her mind eventually. | ||
| But she didn't know at the time. | ||
| The CIA was doing it. | ||
| The CIA was experimenting on Canadians. | ||
| In Canada. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And she was one of them. | ||
| Just have to get across that clear cut and dope them up. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Back then it was harder. | ||
| There was a shrub that they couldn't get over. | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| They had the full cooperation. | ||
| It was the Diefenbaker, I think. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Do you guys know the Ted Kaczynski story, the Unabomber? | ||
| I know about the Unabomber part. | ||
| He was a part of the LSD Harvard studies. | ||
| Oh, was he? | ||
| Oh, this was kind of the same deal. | ||
| Yeah, they cooked that guy's brain. | ||
| Yeah, there's a documentary about it. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| He was like a 16-year-old kid when he first went to Harvard because he was so fucking smart that he was entering into Harvard at 16 years of age. | ||
| And there was a psychologist that was working at Harvard at the time that he's been photographed with and was friends with, and he was a part of this program. | ||
| This guy was notoriously ruthless with his application of LSD to young people. | ||
| I mean, he just gave it a shot. | ||
| Let's see what it does. | ||
| It does, it fries them forever. | ||
| It does, but here's the thing, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately. | ||
| I think that he was on to something. | ||
| And this is what he was on to. | ||
| What he was on to, he was trying to kill people that were creating technology because he felt like technology is going to be the end of humans. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| Yeah, totally right. | ||
| That's exactly what Elon Musk was saying on your show. | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| And if you're high as fuck on acid, and they probably gave him a fucking coffee cup full of acid at 16, I mean, who knows how much they were. | ||
| They didn't know what the doses were. | ||
| They were just experimenting with people. | ||
| Yeah, it was like Ken Kesey and Leary Roll. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Part of that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| A few weeks ago when I read an article online and at the bottom it said this article has been written by a program, not by a human. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, what? | |
| Paintings done by AI? Symphonies? | ||
| No humans involved anymore. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| We're in it now. | ||
| Once they figure out a way to make a reality that's indiscernible from the reality that we're currently experiencing, which is just It's around the corner. | ||
| That's only like a decade. | ||
| Or it happened a billion years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And we're just living in it. | ||
| Well, you only know what's in front of you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you've done the, you know, the, you know, what is it, the Oculus stuff and all that? | ||
| Oculus Rift? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| We have a HTC Vive in the back. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They're incredible, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| But your emotions, everything, it's like you're there. | ||
| It's no different. | ||
| Yeah, it's very similar. | ||
| There's one where you jump off a building. | ||
| Have you ever tried that one? | ||
| No. | ||
| You go out on a diving board on a high rise and step off. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're using it to treat PTSD and arachnophobia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like... | |
| It's going to happen. | ||
| So once they figure out a way to give you some experiences that you can't tell whether or not those experiences are real or not, then the aliens will land. | ||
| It's the matrix, man. | ||
| It really is the matrix. | ||
| I think that artificial life and intelligence that is sentient, that is also completely autonomous, that can run itself and decide for itself, it's only a matter of time. | ||
| It's not a matter of, this is not like H.G. Wells science fiction 200 years ago, like we're just guessing. | ||
| It's just choices. | ||
| This is like you could see it coming. | ||
| They already have machine learning, they already have certain artificial intelligence that guesses certain things about you. | ||
| But Siri is still a dumb cunt. | ||
| What's better, Bixby or Siri, though? | ||
| I haven't tried Bixby, but I don't know. | ||
| Bixby is Samsung's version of Siri. | ||
| I haven't heard Bixby yet. | ||
| What's the voice-like? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I never use it. | ||
| I have a Samsung phone. | ||
| It's incredibly effective, yeah, but it has a terrible voice. | ||
| They make you keep that button, too, while you map it out to anything else. | ||
| Is it the voice of Bill Bixby? | ||
| Because that'd be really cool. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| From the Hulk? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Or Court of Eddie's Father, if you're right. | ||
| How you doing, son? | ||
| I never knew those words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a warm-hearted person who loves you till the end. | |
| To the end. | ||
| I forgot about that. | ||
| And he had that hot Japanese lady that was his housekeeper, but he never hooked up with her. | ||
| I was like, come on, she's right there, bro. | ||
| She seems real nice. | ||
| She seems lonely, too. | ||
| You don't have a wife anymore. | ||
| You're not seeing what's obvious. | ||
| I didn't get it. | ||
| I'm like, how are you not with her, man? | ||
| She's so nice to your kid. | ||
| You guys are making a sweet family. | ||
| To be fair, the show didn't run very long. | ||
| Maybe if you had gotten five or six more seasons. | ||
| I thought it was on Netflix or something. | ||
| They would have pushed that angle. | ||
| I started watching The Magician a little bit. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| One of the worst of all time. | ||
| It was one of the CBS movie mysteries. | ||
| It was like with Columbo and... | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| Really? | ||
| On every level. | ||
| Yeah, he was the magician. | ||
| He used his magic to solve crimes. | ||
| He solved crimes. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he magic? | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| How do you solve crimes with magic? | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You just do magic. | ||
| Oh, and you pretend you're solving crimes? | ||
| And then someone else solves a crime. | ||
| Yeah, it's probably a producer's idea, right? | ||
| Hey, I got an idea, guys. | ||
| Here's the show. | ||
| A magician who solves crime. | ||
| Sell it. | ||
| I got another meeting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta go. | |
| And he leaves. | ||
| I've got to show it. | ||
| I'm doing a cruise. | ||
| They gave me a pitch once. | ||
| It was a guy who was immortal. | ||
| He was an Egyptian. | ||
| This was a pitch to me. | ||
| I was going to play this guy who was immortal. | ||
| So far, it's good casting. | ||
| Immortal, Egyptian, like a god. | ||
| Yeah, something happened back then and a woman put a curse on me because I was banging her sister or something like that. | ||
| And the curse was that you would live forever. | ||
| So here I was, many thousands of years later, I had to pretend that I was a regular person, and I could never die, and that was the sitcom. | ||
| That was a sitcom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That was a sitcom? | ||
| It was a sitcom. | ||
| It was the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| Great as a one-hour drama. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, do you solve crimes? | ||
| You know, I knew it was going to be a problem when I met the guy, and he was wearing bowling shoes, but he wasn't going bowling. | ||
| Oh, that means he's an asshole. | ||
| Those motherfuckers. | ||
| That fucker's an asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm wacky! | |
| Look, I got bowling shoes on! | ||
| You got a lot of character. | ||
| My shoes are interesting. | ||
| Wait a second, I used to do that. | ||
| Well, do you remember when there was the writer teams, but it was always the one guy who was the typer and the other guy was really funny? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there was a lot of those teams. | ||
| And those teams would branch off and one of those guys would get a lot of money. | ||
| And then, you know, they would go, oh, we got the wrong guy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| You got the typer. | ||
| We paid the fucking typer. | ||
| We paid the typer. | ||
| There was a lot of that with the teams. | ||
| The teams always seemed to be like one really talented person who was kind of maybe introspective and weird. | ||
| And he eventually figured out, oh, I can just hire a typist. | ||
|
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|
And he got rid of that guy, but then that guy got a big development deal. | |
| Remember development deals? | ||
| Oh my god, I had so many of them. | ||
| I had one one year where they gave me a shit ton of money and we never did anything. | ||
| I got free money. | ||
| Free money. | ||
| I had about four right after NewsRadio. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we create smaller and smaller networks each time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right. | |
| You get down to the CW. You know you got an issue. | ||
| I might have to actually write something now. | ||
| Cooking Channel. | ||
| So what is your more recent obsession about UFOs? | ||
| What's the origin of this? | ||
| Well, part of it is just the fact that the evidence, just the evidence itself, says you have to take this seriously. | ||
| And yet no one does. | ||
| Or very, very few people do. | ||
| I mean, even like, again, that F-16 footage, that even Neil deGrasse Tyson, who is a great skeptic, said, on one of the late night talks, he said, well, if you really want to look at the possibility of some non-human intelligence, that F-16 stuff is pretty compelling. | ||
| What is the F-16 stuff? | ||
| That's the stuff that To the Stars Academy put out. | ||
| It was the CIA. Oh, yeah, Tom DeLonge? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've never met him. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| What do you see in the footage? | ||
| He's a very nice guy and a brilliant musician. | ||
| And he's a loon. | ||
| Yeah, I've never met him. | ||
| He's a fucking full-on believer. | ||
| I mean, he left Blink-182 to go do this To The Stars Academy shit. | ||
| He's the biggest goddamn rock band on the planet. | ||
| Okay, here's something interesting about this. | ||
| This was pointed out by, okay, a video film by a fighter jet shows an unknown object near San Diego. | ||
| Video from 2004 was released by the U.S. Department of Defense. | ||
| Wow, the way it moves. | ||
| There's something about the way it moves is really weird, huh? | ||
| Could it be a jet, though? | ||
| Jets can move that way. | ||
| One of the pilots told the media the object was not from this world. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| The skeptics, in order to dismiss it, they have to make arguments that jet fighters are not better observers than anyone else. | ||
| Pull up Mick Ward's take on that. | ||
| Mick Ward, the guy who runs a debunking site. | ||
| And he's another one of those guys that is all in with the... | ||
| The conventional explanation. | ||
| He goes way out of his way to not look at anything that could be remotely conspiracy. | ||
| Which is the opposite of Occam's Razor. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Occam's Razor says that if you have to go to great lengths to dismiss something, that's not following Occam's Razor. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Occam's Razor says, if the jet pilot says he saw this, he saw it. | ||
| I think he had an interesting take on it, though. | ||
| One of the things is there's a time during the video where the pilot shifted from 1x to 2x, which makes the image move more because you have magnification. | ||
| Like, have you ever used magnifying glasses or binos? | ||
| Like, if you use 15x binos, it's very difficult to hold on a subject. | ||
| But 6x, you can kind of look at things in the distance. | ||
| Yeah, but that's if you don't have... | ||
| About $3 million worth of stabilization equipment on your jet locked onto this object. | ||
| Which is why that stays in lock. | ||
| He had an explanation though that was kind of interesting. | ||
| And when it breaks free of the lock, that's unbelievable. | ||
| Does it just take off or something like that? | ||
| How does it take off? | ||
| At one point, the object just breaks free of the lock. | ||
| And that's almost impossible. | ||
|
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I have a question. | |
| It's impossible for anything that man has built to do. | ||
| With the quality of cameras today, why is this footage so shitty? | ||
| This is infrared footage. | ||
| Infrared. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you need this when you're shooting at things in the sky. | ||
| You can't rely on visualizations. | ||
|
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It's a blurry blob. | |
| Well, you're looking at heat. | ||
| You're looking at heat signals. | ||
| Because visually, it's so far... | ||
| So far, it would be... | ||
| Escaping the rabbit hole. | ||
| How to debunk conspiracy theories using fact, logic, and respect. | ||
| So what is he saying? | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| The program... | ||
| Make that a little larger for my stupid eyes. | ||
| We said, for all we make sure you are talking about the right video. | ||
| There's two that are confused. | ||
| Here we're talking about the gimbal video, which is not from the Nimitz incident, which is discussed here. | ||
| So scroll down a little bit. | ||
| The gimbal video is an... | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's the one we're looking at. | ||
| It's an unknown date and location from unknown pilots. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| The TikTok one is from San Diego. | ||
| Those are known pilots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's 2004. Okay, that's David Ferver. | ||
| The media's discussed these videos. | ||
| Tom DeLonge to the stars. | ||
| The link contains the frames. | ||
| What's he saying? | ||
| Keep going, keep going, keep going. | ||
| The black shape on the object, some kind of infrared flare, glare. | ||
| We know the shape of a very bright infrared source. | ||
| Like the engine of a plane can be much bigger than the object itself, as explained here. | ||
| Okay, so there's like a flare. | ||
|
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Mm-hmm. | |
| That doesn't explain the movement. | ||
| No, that doesn't explain the movement. | ||
| It doesn't explain, again, Occam's Razor is, okay, so this guy debunking it. | ||
| This guy's saying it's a jet. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It looks nothing like it. | ||
| Well, even if it is a jet, a jet's not capable of breaking free from the lock, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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If you lock onto it. | |
| And if you look at that, you can see the jet. | ||
| His own example debunks his debunking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Need not be moving. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| The video need not be moving. | ||
| And it's also the assumption that this guy doing probably a few hours research has come up with something that is more credible than Than a trained fighter pilot who is there and visually seeing it. | ||
| What do you think it is? | ||
| And tracking it. | ||
| If you had a guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let's get crazy. | ||
| Oh, I think it is an intelligent craft. | ||
| It is a craft being piloted intelligently. | ||
| Why aren't they talking to us? | ||
| We're fucking apes. | ||
| We're assholes. | ||
| Leaving fucking plastic straws everywhere. | ||
| Oh, we cured it! | ||
| No more plastic straws! | ||
| When you were a kid looking at an ant colony, you didn't go, listen to me, ants. | ||
| You just looked at them. | ||
| No, I agree. | ||
| And they say, why don't they go to the White House? | ||
| And they say, well, why would you, when you look at an aunt, Colin, you go, I must speak to the Queen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I've always said that. | ||
| No, you just look at ants. | ||
| Yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing about, like, the old movies. | ||
| Like, the old movies, it would land on the White House lawn. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
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|
Right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| Dave Yersted Still. | ||
| That's it, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that's the day the earth still was like, what was that, 1940 or something? | ||
| 50s. | ||
| 55. Fucking great. | ||
| Great movie. | ||
| I watched it really recently. | ||
| Because it's a Christ parable. | ||
| I love Christ parables. | ||
| A little bit, right? | ||
| Christ stories are great. | ||
| He was a Christ parable. | ||
| His name was John Carpenter. | ||
|
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|
Oh. | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| JC. That's right. | ||
| Christ was a carpenter. | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| They shoot that object out of his hand the first second he pulls it out. | ||
| Do you remember he has that thing that's going to cure cancer? | ||
| Yeah, they shoot him. | ||
| They shoot him. | ||
| And they just shoot it out of his hand immediately. | ||
| And at the end of the movie, he is killed and resurrected. | ||
| That's right, yeah. | ||
| He's taken by the robot. | ||
| Yeah, the robot. | ||
| Love that robot. | ||
| Very tall. | ||
| Yeah, and he looked like you would want a robot to look in 1950. Yes, smooth. | ||
| All metal and shit, smooth. | ||
| Yeah, chrome. | ||
| Yeah, those were the days we thought that they would communicate. | ||
| Wasn't there a whole rash of them that were seen over Washington, D.C.? Yeah, there was dozens. | ||
| Dozens of UFOs tracked and admitted by the government that they were tracking them and watching them. | ||
| But at the end, their explanation was, nothing particularly important. | ||
| You know, we have a mutual friend who claims... | ||
| I won't say her name, but she claims she was... | ||
| No, and I feel bad because I wrote her off as a lunatic when I first heard her name. | ||
| Yeah, well, she was claimed to be abducted. | ||
| And then I was doing a show with her years ago, and she's telling us the story. | ||
| And we're all like, uh-huh, that's pretty funny. | ||
| And she says, and then they took a scoop out of my back. | ||
| And I'm like, a scoop? | ||
| They took a scoop out of your back? | ||
| And she showed on her back shoulder there was a hexagonal diamond-shaped scoop out of her back. | ||
| A divot. | ||
| It was hexagonal. | ||
| Yeah, that was... | ||
| Clearly? | ||
| Clearly. | ||
| And no scar tissue. | ||
| Maybe she's a crazy bitch. | ||
| No scar tissue, man. | ||
| I know how to make this story stick. | ||
| Give myself a little punch. | ||
| A hole punch back there. | ||
| I worked at a bookstore at the time, years ago, and I went into the alien section. | ||
| It was the world's biggest bookstore in Toronto. | ||
| And of course I went to the alien section and just looked all this crap up immediately and there are other people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With the scoop. | ||
| There's a lot of other people with abduction stories, and some of them have little pieces of something in their body. | ||
| I remember you talking to me about this many, many years ago. | ||
| I was like, oh, Dave's interested. | ||
| It was like implants. | ||
| You were talking about people that have alien implants in their body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| To me, it's just... | ||
| I guess the thing that I'm kind of obsessed with now is just the... | ||
| Because we're comedians. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the power of ridicule... | ||
| To silence debate is unbelievably potent. | ||
| And we're part of that. | ||
| We're part of the machinery that was used very, very consciously by the government to silence any inquiry. | ||
| It was like feeding the story the right way to late night talk show hosts. | ||
| Made it so that nobody would talk about it. | ||
| So do you think that the government consciously fed those ideas to, like, Johnny Carson and those folks? | ||
| Yeah, I think there's documentation to make the UFO phenomena ridiculous. | ||
| Do you think they did that to avoid mass hysteria? | ||
| Like, if you're the government and you know there's nothing out there, but you see these people freaking out, you go, okay, look... | ||
| We've used all of our military might, all of our scientific power, and we don't see shit. | ||
| I'm not buying this, but these people are freaking out. | ||
| This has the real potential to get out of hand and go sideways on us. | ||
| Let's just start making fun of this. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I think it's more likely that there's something there that they feel powerless to control. | ||
| Do you think Kennedy was taken down into the basement of whatever and shown the alien sitting there? | ||
| This is what I say about aliens in regards to Trump. | ||
| If there's anybody that would fucking tell us, it's Trump. | ||
| It's him. | ||
|
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He'd tweet it. | |
| Tweet it immediately. | ||
| He would tweet it. | ||
| He would tweet it in all caps. | ||
| UFOs are real, but CNN is fake. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| The failing New York Times fails to find UFOs because they're real. | ||
| I'm looking at one right now. | ||
| I'm at Area 51. If the government does have the evidence, they are never going to show it to Trump. | ||
| Right, that's the problem. | ||
| What the fuck's the point in being president if you can't find out about UFOs? | ||
| If I knew that to become president meant you get all the access to UFOs, I might go, huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'm not going to try for that. | ||
| The presidents who have tried haven't gotten there. | ||
| No, no one gets it. | ||
| Like Jimmy Carter. | ||
| Jimmy Carter said he had a UFO experience. | ||
| Yeah, he saw something, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said he saw something. | ||
| But see, that was back in the 70s where everybody was seeing shit. | ||
| They were all talking about things. | ||
| It was part of the zeitgeist. | ||
| It was. | ||
| After Close Encounters of the Third Kind, especially, people were legitimately thinking that aliens were going to come. | ||
| He proposed such a possible scenario in that movie. | ||
|
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That movie was so good. | |
| It wasn't anything you expected it was going to be. | ||
| I was going to say, another example is that explanation of the F-16s locked footage, like Randall's from Forest, where they claimed that these American soldiers in the woods in England mistook a where they claimed that these American soldiers in the woods in England for a spacecraft. | ||
| That they were within 20 feet of a craft that they saw and took notes on, did drawings of, yeah, they walked not even like right up against it. | ||
| And they wrote down notes, saw like different sort of hieroglyphs on the ship itself, described the feel of it, this electrostatic feel of being around it. | ||
| And the official explanation was they mistook a lighthouse several miles away for this spacecraft. | ||
| So Occam's Razor again says, That's hard to believe. | ||
| These trained observers, they always try to dismiss the idea that trained observers are better observers. | ||
| But they are better observers. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| In the age of today, where everyone has a high-definition camera in their pocket. | ||
| But have you taken a photograph of the moon on your phone? | ||
| It comes out super crappy. | ||
| It doesn't look like the moon. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| There's no details. | ||
| It comes out as a blur. | ||
| The lenses are too wide. | ||
|
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|
Hmm. | |
| But Occam's Razor says, alright, they saw something. | ||
| Because what is the likelihood that trained observers who have been on this base for years on this night would mistake a lighthouse that they've seen every night for the entire time they've been on this base for a UFO? I mean, what is the likelihood that that explanation is correct? | ||
| I'm not aware of that story. | ||
| Oh, Rendlesham Forest? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| Bentwoods? | ||
| Rendlesham? | ||
| Rendlesham? | ||
| Rendlesham Forest. | ||
| Sounds like a character actor on Columbo. | ||
| And it's a nuclear installation. | ||
| And Rendlesham Forest. | ||
| The nuclear installations are always ripe with UFO stories. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| This was in the 80s. | ||
| 1980. Interesting. | ||
| And it's, you know, and instead, obviously, the obvious explanation is, well, not the explanation, but the only thing you can accept is that these observers saw something and described it accurately. | ||
| Is it something that had crashed? | ||
| If you want to say that, no, it came down, was landed in the forest, and took off. | ||
| What do you think of the Roswell case? | ||
| The night before that, Roswell, I think it's probably true. | ||
| Real? | ||
| You're all in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, Dave, I never knew that about you. | ||
| But I mean, because... | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Again, because the cover stories for it are so much less believable than an alien. | ||
| Yeah, I used to have a joke about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That they put on the paper that they have recovered a crashed UFO and alien bodies. | ||
| And the next day they said, oh, we made a mistake, it was just a balloon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about the aliens? | |
| Those are Mexicans. | ||
| They're Mexicans. | ||
| They were drinking. | ||
| Apparently they thought the balloon was a pinata. | ||
| They got a little crazy. | ||
| I can't believe in you right now. | ||
| But we just invented some new stuff out of nowhere. | ||
| And then 30 years later, they go, oh, they were high-altitude dummies that we were dropping to test how they would fall. | ||
| And now we have lasers and invisibility cloaks. | ||
| Well, they showed up again the next day with a bunch of weather balloon scraps and they're like, look, this is it. | ||
| Oh, the guy holding it up? | ||
| What they don't tell you is that they flew the wreckage out to Wright-Patterson Air Force in two separate planes and that Truman met them there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I mean, again, the more rational... | ||
| Two separate planes. | ||
| Yeah, because they were worried that one would crash. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| The weather balloon thing is not as rational as something weird happened. | ||
| Listen, I want it to be an alien so bad that I question myself. | ||
| So that's my problem with all that stuff. | ||
| But again, I won't, like, I'll be skeptical about stuff that just seems crazy. | ||
| Or people that, you know, sort of ascribe some sort of metaphysical explanation for all this. | ||
| My... | ||
| Well, if the preponderance of the evidence says something happened, but doesn't tell you what happened, then you still have to believe something happened. | ||
| Not knowing what happened isn't evidence that it didn't happen. | ||
| And yet you're still a flat earther. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, have you looked outside? | ||
| It seems flat. | ||
| Have you studied hashtag space is fake? | ||
| No. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Space is fake. | ||
| There's people that are so dumb, they think the earth is flat, and there's people that are so dumb, they make fun of the people that are dumber than them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They think that space is fake. | ||
| Space is fake. | ||
| There's no space. | ||
| No space. | ||
| What is it then? | ||
| Well, that's the holographic theory. | ||
| When you Google it, it's really religious. | ||
| It's all about the firmament and the Bible. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| The stars are hung in the sky over Earth. | ||
| Which you would call like YouTube people. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I have to pee again because I'm 56. Wow, that's incredible. | ||
| Human Explorer Ocean. | ||
| Is that the title? | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I have to be sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, hashtag space is fake. | ||
| Human dug earth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Human Explore Ocean. | ||
| Suddenly they can discover a thousand miles out of space. | ||
| It's really well written, though. | ||
| Yeah, super, super compelling. | ||
| Suddenly they can discover a thousand miles out of space. | ||
| I wonder how many of those, I was talking to you about Renee DiResta, who's the woman who studies all these Russian troll farms, and they mock people. | ||
| I wonder how much of that is them, that the Russians, like, they have a side flat earth, space is fake department, where they just mock, because it's always in English. | ||
| I don't think there's a lot of flat earth Russian proponents. | ||
| God, if I was one of those Russian guys, I would want that to be my department. | ||
| Yeah, I just... | ||
| They call people globetards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Or globeheads. | ||
| Yeah, if you believe in the earth is round. | ||
| If you believe it's round? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Globetards. | ||
| I've saved some of these memes because they're so wonderful. | ||
| They're just like, this is rich. | ||
| I had the worst Uber ride with a guy. | ||
| No. | ||
| Who was... | ||
| A flat earther? | ||
| Yeah, and he was a computer programmer. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A computer programmer slash flat earther? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why he's driving an Uber and not working at NASA. And he smiled the whole time while he drove me crazy. | ||
| He drove me. | ||
| He knew what he was doing, I think. | ||
| He was doing it on purpose? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| So how did he start it off? | ||
| So, I bet you're one of those guys who believes the Earth's round, huh? | ||
| Well, I talked about the beautiful view from the plane. | ||
| He picked me up at the airport. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, it's so beautiful, the sunset over the curvature of the earth. | ||
| That's how it started. | ||
| And he goes, well, not really the curvature of the earth. | ||
| That's how it started. | ||
| And he would not stop. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| To the point where I was, I think, I think I tore my clothes off. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| You made me so insane. | ||
| There's so many of them now. | ||
| And, you know, we've uncovered the origins of it or what we think the origins of it. | ||
| It was a troll from 4chan. | ||
| 4chan was fucking around and they started promoting this idea that the earth is actually flat. | ||
| That's where it started? | ||
| A lot of things start from that. | ||
| That's disgusting. | ||
| That's where the free bleeding movement started from. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| Women are expressing their power by not controlling their menstrual cycle with pads or tampons just bleeding into their pants to show their power. | ||
| Yeah, they did it on 4chan as a joke and the women started doing it in real life. | ||
| Doing it for real. | ||
| Yeah, they thought it was like, this is a way to like, these people are disgusted by menstrual blood. | ||
| Well, fuck them. | ||
| Here's some for you. | ||
| Yeah, shit on the patriarchy by showing your pussy blood. | ||
|
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Fuck. | |
| It's so crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It makes me want to start one. | ||
| Oh, 4chan is the best. | ||
| They're so good at that. | ||
| They're so good at starting these goofy ass fucking little movements and then getting people behind it. | ||
| It's like a game. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a game. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| It's probably a bunch of really smart people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Some of them not so smart, but some of them really smart that are stuck at their desks and they're bored as shit with some computer job somewhere. | ||
| What can I think of? | ||
| In the meantime, they just decide to fuck with people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're talking about flat earthers and free bleeding, the free bleeding movement, which was also started by 4chan. | ||
| Yeah, 4chan started this movement where women would express their power by not controlling their menstrual cycle, by just letting the blood leak out into their pants. | ||
| And they did it as a joke that 4chan did, and women started actually doing it. | ||
| It caught on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of these things, it's so hard to mock. | ||
| It's so hard to figure out what is mockery and what's real. | ||
|
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|
Exactly. | |
| What is parody and what's reality? | ||
| Everything's blurred now. | ||
| What's the onion? | ||
| The onion is, you know... | ||
| Do you know the James Lindsay, Peter Boghossian... | ||
| What's the other woman's name? | ||
| The woman that we didn't meet? | ||
| The Grievance Studies hoaxes? | ||
| No. | ||
| Peter Boghossian is a professor at the University of Portland. | ||
| And I think that's the school. | ||
| He's in Portland. | ||
| And he decided to, with these other academics, publish these fake papers on, like, rape in dog parks and, like, cis-normative, like... | ||
| To see what would happen? | ||
| No, people loved them. | ||
| Ridiculous things like fat bodybuilding, like bodybuilding contests for fat people, to talk about the importance of these things. | ||
| Things that you would read and you would think would be obviously a parody. | ||
| Someone's fucking around. | ||
| They submit these academic journals, not only get published, but they get praised for their scholarship. | ||
| And then they came out and said, hey, we were fucking with you guys. | ||
| This is all a joke. | ||
| Too late. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| And you guys love these papers, you morons. | ||
| And this is part of the problem with the humanities today, is that things are so sideways in terms of like, it's so difficult to find out what's parody and what's reality. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's an insane time. | ||
| It is insane as it gets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very unsettling. | ||
| It's very unsettling. | ||
| To not know if someone's having me on or not. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And well, there's very, all the structures that used, that for good or for bad, would filter things down are gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like we, you know, everything was handed over to powerful people who filtered what we were given to know. | ||
| There used to be an agreement of common sense that used to hang around. | ||
| I think the cure is mind reading, and I think we're going to accept that cure. | ||
| Because, you know, Elon is working on some sort of neural link thing. | ||
| It's the only way we'll know if someone's telling the truth. | ||
| We're going to have it. | ||
| I think we're going to accept it, and we're going to give in. | ||
| And we're going to be able to – I'll take it another step further. | ||
| I think they're going to create a universal language. | ||
| I've been thinking about this a lot. | ||
| I think there's going to be a universal language that probably is augmented reality, some augmented reality language of shapes or something. | ||
| Yeah, some kind of symbolism. | ||
| Symbols. | ||
| Yeah, something that we agree to. | ||
| And we're probably not going to accept it because we're old. | ||
| We're like, fuck this. | ||
| Next generation. | ||
| Our kids, maybe even our kids' kids. | ||
| Our kids' kids are going to be the first people to adopt it, and then it's going to be universal worldwide. | ||
| And with augmented reality and... | ||
| Some sort of ability to interact with each other through bandwidth. | ||
| I remember the first time I heard about cochlear implants. | ||
| That's the first thing that popped in my head is, this is the start. | ||
| This is the first interface. | ||
| You're now officially a... | ||
| You're a cyborg. | ||
| If you have a cochlear implant, you are a cyborg. | ||
| Yeah, you're a six million dollar woman. | ||
| People with Apple Watches on. | ||
| You're wearing an Apple Watch. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| You have a computer that's constantly strapped to you all the time. | ||
| Measuring you. | ||
| Monitoring your heart rate. | ||
| Well, we've been sitting here, when we don't know something, accessing the entire store of human knowledge. | ||
| Jamie's our cyborg. | ||
| We're accessing all of human knowledge in an instant. | ||
| Anytime we want. | ||
| That was Elon's other thing that he said on the podcast. | ||
| You're already a cyborg. | ||
| You have a phone. | ||
| It's not in your body, but it's something you're holding on to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's voluntary cyborg. | ||
| Did you guys read Third Wave years ago? | ||
| Was that a book you ever got into? | ||
| No. | ||
| That was the prediction of all this. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and it's in the early 80s. | ||
| And it was a prediction, and the one thing Third Wave predicted was that the next generation The first line in it, I remember, was that it's all about information. | ||
| It's all going to be about sharing information. | ||
| Someone's going to figure out a way to share information. | ||
| Well, that's when I saw the cochlear implant. | ||
| I thought, well, if you're, alright, so your brain is interpreting an electronic signal as information directly. | ||
| It's bypassing the ear entirely. | ||
| And it's just a neuronal connection. | ||
| And I thought, well, that eventually is how we will access the internet. | ||
| We'll access the internet as though it is our own thoughts. | ||
| As easily as I remember your name, I'll remember any other fact that is on record. | ||
| So then it will be the Matrix and we'll all be part of the same brain. | ||
| Yeah, except we won't be sitting in pods somewhere. | ||
| Speak for yourself. | ||
| It initially will be like a peripheral thing. | ||
| You'll be able to tap into it or not as you wish. | ||
| But I think as time goes on, it's going to be more and more integrated. | ||
| You want to distinguish it from your own mind. | ||
| Like, you used to have to go to a computer that was hardwired into the wall, and you'd have to dial up to get online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, everything's instantaneous. | ||
| It's in your phone, and this isn't... | ||
| I remember when we were on news radio, I first got an Apple computer and got online, and I was fucking fascinated. | ||
| I couldn't believe... | ||
| We did two CompuServe. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| That's how we got on. | ||
| And to bring it all around, the first thing I did was download UFO reports. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I was downloading UFOs like a dork, like reading all these things. | ||
| We did a first chat with somebody, I remember, in 1993. Wow. | ||
|
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And it was because we had an office computer. | |
| News Radio was the first time I had an email account. | ||
| I remember that and getting online. | ||
| I think I went to the Louvre's site. | ||
| Sure, to see what was on there. | ||
| And watched Hieronymus Bosch paintings download in about 30 minutes. | ||
|
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Yeah, right. | |
| I downloaded the new versions of those. | ||
| It's like I'm at the Louvre. | ||
| I remember you had a program on your laptop. | ||
| This was like 96. You had a program on your laptop that kept crashing, but when it worked, it was amazing because it would give you the news. | ||
| Yes, as a screensaver. | ||
| Yes, as a screensaver. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| The news would just come up. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Constantly, the constant flow of news. | ||
| You've always been very cutting edge with technology. | ||
| And I wish that still existed. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| I don't even think it was Wi-Fi. | ||
| I think you had a plug-in. | ||
| I had an ISDN line in my house. | ||
|
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Oh, wow. | |
| I remember. | ||
| Which gave me 128 kilobits per second downloads. | ||
| You were light years ahead of everybody I knew with all your tech. | ||
| Yeah, I had a T1 line installed in my house. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I lived in the woods. | ||
| It was the only way I could get really high speed internet access. | ||
| They had to carve a fucking hole in the ground and give me a business pipe. | ||
| Now 5G is around the corner, man. | ||
| 5G is going to change everything. | ||
| They say it's going to be hundreds of times faster than 4G. It's comparable to a fiber optic link. | ||
| Yeah, on your phone. | ||
| I think CDs, those are gone now forever. | ||
| I save them, just in case. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
|
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You should. | |
| Well, the real question is, where are we storing all this stuff if we're only storing it in ones and zeros? | ||
| Like we were talking about the demise of civilization in the past. | ||
| Right, they just blow that up, right? | ||
| But that's what probably... | ||
| I mean, every society probably, I don't think they reached that 10,000 years ago, but I think every society probably reaches some point where everything is just ones and zeros on a database somewhere, and then if that crashes... | ||
| But it's a physical place, right? | ||
| Where this stuff exists. | ||
| Well, some things. | ||
| Like all our Gmail accounts exist somewhere, right? | ||
| There's huge buildings with internet exchanges. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But what if someone just drops a... | ||
| No, that's absolutely the case. | ||
| But also, if something happens and the grid goes down, and we're hit, right? | ||
| EMT. Fry everything. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| What Dr. Robert Schock was talking about, if there's a fucking lightning storm that really torches buildings and starts everything on fire. | ||
| Good luck accessing all that shit. | ||
| Not only that, if human beings just skip a generation, like if we have a generation of turmoil and chaos and then we slowly rebuild civilization, how many of those people are going to understand computer code? | ||
| How many of these people are going to understand Linux? | ||
| How many of these people that are coming up without any education from a formal university, no internet connection whatsoever for decades, perhaps hundreds of years? | ||
| It's like the resetting of civilization you talked about earlier. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We start all over again. | ||
| And that's when the aliens come because they know we can't do anything but draw shit on clay tablets. | ||
| Now's the time! | ||
| Yeah, they wait until we can't take pictures anymore and then they come back and re-engineer. | ||
| Yeah, right now they're just, you know, relying on the fact that nobody can frame a shot well. | ||
| The weirder thing about the alien theory was that they came down and genetically manipulated lower hominids. | ||
| Yeah, to create the human species. | ||
| That's the weirder one. | ||
| Or that they are a later evolved version of us coming back to check on us. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's the other thing, too, is about that archetypal image of the alien with the big head, with the big black eyes. | ||
| Is that if you go, you go down from Australopithecus to modern Homo sapien, if you make this connect, you see this hunched over, very hairy, almost chimp-like humanoid, and then standing up, but losing all of its hair, and the head is much larger, doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. | ||
| Well, where's that going? | ||
| Is that going to keep going? | ||
| Well, if it keeps going, this is what you're going to get. | ||
| You're going to get a feeble thing. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| A feeble thing with a giant head. | ||
| And that's what these aliens are. | ||
| They're always feeble with giant heads. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| They have terrible... | ||
| And if they've been living off Earth for a long time, then yeah, your body's, you know... | ||
| They're very out of shape. | ||
| Well, they also have no penises or vaginas, so they realize... | ||
| That saves a lot of time. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| That gives you time to get stuff done. | ||
| I'm all right. | ||
| And it's more of a meritocracy. | ||
| You're not banging people based on their tits and ass. | ||
| You don't have that anymore. | ||
| There's no more of that. | ||
| No more wasted time. | ||
| Yeah, just sharing thoughts transparently through the air. | ||
| No orbs. | ||
| You don't need an orb like in the Woody Allen movie. | ||
| You don't even need to pick things up anymore. | ||
| Everything's telekinetic. | ||
| Using that giant head to move shit around. | ||
| You never have to leave your house. | ||
| Your pod. | ||
| There's a guy that worked supposedly... | ||
| I don't know if he really worked at Area 51, but the whole story was... | ||
| Bob Lazar? | ||
| Yeah, Bob Lazar. | ||
| There's a new documentary. | ||
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| It's a good documentary. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of those, again, where it's just dealing with him as an individual. | ||
| You go, okay, this guy isn't... | ||
| He isn't the firebrand UFO believer that some people want him to be, and he's not the lunatic that other people want him to be. | ||
| But he didn't tell the truth about his education, right? | ||
| Isn't that the case? | ||
| Isn't there some finagling about... | ||
| Yeah, well definitely the records of his education, if he was telling the truth, those records aren't around anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if he was telling the truth, somebody expunged – Yeah. | ||
| And basically his argument is, well, if I didn't have this education, why was I hired to do this job? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I was hired to do this research by the government, and they have the records of me doing the research. | ||
| So why did they let me do this research for all these years if I didn't have the education to do it? | ||
| But wouldn't there be someone that went to school with them? | ||
| Like, you have friends from high school, right? | ||
| Well, not many. | ||
| Well, I do. | ||
| I have some friends that can go, yeah, I was in fucking fifth grade English with you, bro. | ||
| Wasn't there a guy who went to college with Bob Lazar who could say, yeah, he's in Physics 101 with Bob. | ||
| I'm sure he's out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there aren't people. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, I remember him in school. | ||
| So you enjoyed the documentary? | ||
| Do you remember what the name of it is? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Bob Lazar. | ||
| The guy who... | ||
| It's a new... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody emailed me about that. | ||
| I was getting the guy who made it on. | ||
| That's a real problem. | ||
| Even this one is a fairly rational documentary, but it's... | ||
|
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But they're so bad. | |
| Even this one, it's just got bad filmmaking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bob Lazar, Area 51, and Flying Saucers. | ||
| That's the title? | ||
| 4.1. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Jeremy Corbell. | ||
| I think he's the gentleman that directed it. | ||
| Yeah, and it's good, but it has Mickey Rourke doing weird poetic voiceovers at some points. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| As the wrestler? | ||
| Or as Barfly. | ||
| Is he doing it as Bukowski? | ||
| That would be fine. | ||
| He's got 20% on Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
| Come over here with your fucking UFO. But I mean, you've seen the I Know What I Saw and Out of the Blue, those documentaries? | ||
| No. | ||
| You haven't seen them? | ||
| Because those are great. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Out of the Blue is a great, serious documentary about the UFO phenomenon. | ||
| And I know what I saw is one sort of tracing the participants in the disclosure hearings at the press club in Washington. | ||
| God, you're going to bring me back into this shit. | ||
| I love them, man. | ||
| I really wish they were real, but I'm telling you, my experience talking to these people when I did that sci-fi show was like, oh, this is all nonsense. | ||
| Yeah, but again... | ||
| That, maybe those people were, nonsense. | ||
| But the trained military, the air traffic controllers, the pilots, government officials, like, what's his name, Feef, the governor of Arizona is one of the guys in I Know What I Saw in Out of the Blue. | ||
| Oh, yeah, he was the guy that was told to, like, mock it, so they brought in a guy dressed like an alien. | ||
| In these documents, he talks about how much he deeply regrets doing that. | ||
| And this is from Out of the Blue? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Deeply regret. | ||
| Maybe now he's not a governor anymore. | ||
| He's trying to get a new angle on his career. | ||
| But he basically said, you know what? | ||
| Tens of thousands of people saw these craft. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we lied. | ||
| We came out and we lied. | ||
| So did he say who directed him to lie? | ||
| He didn't say he was really directed to. | ||
| He said he felt like people were in a state of panic. | ||
| And he thought he could relieve some of the fear by making a joke of it. | ||
| And he said he really just wanted to relax people. | ||
| Because he didn't know what else to do. | ||
| He said, I saw it. | ||
| Everyone else saw it. | ||
| And I didn't know how to calm people down. | ||
| So I made this joke. | ||
| And he said he regrets it. | ||
| There's another thing about these UFO experiences and alien experiences where people really dive into them. | ||
| There seems to be the atheist version of religion to a lot of these folks. | ||
| Yeah, which again, that I dismiss. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think that's likely to be the case, that they're here to save us, or they're not concerned about redemption. | ||
| No, I don't mean that. | ||
| I mean the people that are believers, that are really into it. | ||
| It seems to be that instead of focusing on a deity, they're focusing on an advanced civilization. | ||
| Yeah, like transferring it. | ||
| Yeah, it's something will save us. | ||
|
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Space daddy. | |
| Something will save us. | ||
| Yeah, that when we decide to point those nuclear weapons at each other, it's going to come down. | ||
| They'll come down at the last minute. | ||
| Talk to Russia and Trump and go, hey, let's not. | ||
| But where were they during Hiroshima and Nagasaki? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Watching. | ||
| Well, everybody deserves a lunch break. | ||
| Yeah, but it's that. | ||
| Whatever is going on, it's not an intervention. | ||
| Well, you know, right afterwards was when a giant swarm of UFO sightings happened. | ||
| Right after the nuclear bombs were dropped. | ||
| That's when there's a big uptick in UFO sightings. | ||
| Yeah, and as you said, a lot of the incidents are at nuclear missile sites. | ||
| Do you think they're going for fuel or something like that? | ||
| Well, there was one in Arizona somewhere where UFOs showed up and shut down the entire launch system. | ||
| All the missiles went offline at the same time. | ||
| And it's documented and it's in the records of the time. | ||
| But all of the missiles went offline. | ||
| You don't seem like you're buying this. | ||
| I am literally right in the middle. | ||
| That's where I live on this thing. | ||
| I really don't know. | ||
| I'm not quite in the middle. | ||
| I desperately want it to be real. | ||
| But you feel it's not. | ||
| I'm still calling bullshit. | ||
| I guess I'm edging. | ||
| But my desire, my desire is towards reality. | ||
| I want it to be reality. | ||
| When John Landis came out as Bigfoot, that bothered me. | ||
|
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Did he really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He came out as a Bigfoot believer? | ||
| No, he came out as the guy in the suit. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, well, yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| No, that's just a lie. | ||
| When did he do that? | ||
| About... | ||
| From Harry and the Hendersons, that suit? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is him and his college friends. | ||
| They're the Bigfoot in the famous video. | ||
| No, that's Bob Hieronymus. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There's a video of Bob. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus was friends with the... | ||
| See, that story, that Bigfoot story is a real problem because that's the Patterson film. | ||
| Patterson was a con man who went to jail for writing a bad check that paid for the very camera he used to film Bigfoot. | ||
| He went out looking to film Bigfoot. | ||
| They had a fucking suit. | ||
| I mean, he was trying to get a suit. | ||
| They got a guy, Bob Hieronymus, who's a big, tall guy, who walks like Bigfoot. | ||
| There's a video of, yes, the Patterson footage. | ||
| There's a video that superimposes Bob Hieronymus walking on one side and Bigfoot on the other side. | ||
| They walk the same. | ||
| They fucking, it's the guy! | ||
| It's him. | ||
| And by the way, Bigfoot looks like a guy in a Bigfoot suit. | ||
| It's not a fucking animal on the planet that looks like a person in an animal suit. | ||
| You never look at a swan and go, hey, that looks like a person in a swan suit. | ||
| No. | ||
| Things that, like, if you see a gorilla, it does not look like a person in a gorilla suit. | ||
| Right, no. | ||
| The hips are in the different place. | ||
| Everything's different. | ||
| The anatomy's different. | ||
| That's the same with this fucking stupid footage. | ||
| It's so dumb that the people that buy into that and believe it. | ||
| It's like, come on, just look at it. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| It was always... | ||
| See if you can find that footage. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus right next to... | ||
| Bob Hieronymus as Bigfoot. | ||
| I mean, there's a video on YouTube where they show this stabilized image of this animal moving across... | ||
| By the way, I've been to that area where they saw that thing. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Was it on your show? | ||
| But there's still people, like anthropologists, who will still say that there's... | ||
| Clear evidence that the bone structure of this Bigfoot creature doesn't match human. | ||
| If there's a single thing out there, how can it survive? | ||
| I mean, is there more than one Bigfoot? | ||
| Well, it's not a single thing. | ||
| There has to be community. | ||
| Yeah, there has to be community. | ||
| The compelling, interesting aspect of Bigfoot is that there was an animal called Gigantopithecus that existed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As recently as 100,000 years ago and they found teeth in the 1920s in an apothecary shop in China that were an unknown hominid and then they were like, where'd you get these? | ||
| And then they found the area where they found them and they started discovering more and they found some jawbone fragments and some various bones. | ||
| See this? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that guy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
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That's amazing. | |
| That's the guy. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| And he admits it. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Oh my god, it's the same guy. | ||
| He admits it. | ||
| It's fucking him. | ||
| He talked about it. | ||
| He told the story. | ||
| They said, alright, ready, go. | ||
| Start walking out of the woods. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So put that guy in a big old stupid fucking furry suit and you have Bigfoot. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| It's 100% him. | ||
| So does that mean there's not one out there? | ||
| No. | ||
| So Gigantopithecus was a real animal that they think was a bipedal hominid that lived somewhere around 100,000 years ago for sure, but most likely lived alongside human beings for eons, right? | ||
| And this thing was an 8 to 10 foot tall. | ||
| See if you get an image of the photo of a recreation of a Gigantopithecus next to a modern human being. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| It was huge. | ||
| A huge bipedal ape. | ||
| And there's a fossil record of it. | ||
| It's a real thing. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. | ||
| Like, if a gorilla... | ||
| Look at those gorillas, like, 500 pounds. | ||
| I mean, the fucking... | ||
| And gorillas were considered mythical creatures until, like, 1890s? | ||
| Scroll up, Jamie. | ||
| There's a better image right above you. | ||
| Or was it even the 1900s, the gorillas? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Keep scrolling. | ||
| There's a... | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| So that's what that thing looked like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if you saw that in the woods, you'd be like, holy fucking shit. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Eight foot tall, gigantic, hairy ape creature. | ||
| I wouldn't touch it like that guy's touching it. | ||
| Well, he's a friend. | ||
| That's his buddy. | ||
| It's like when you see dudes from Russia with bears. | ||
| That's true, yeah. | ||
| So that's a real animal. | ||
| So that's probably why there's so many mythological stories about this thing. | ||
| And the Native Americans have more than a hundred different names for these creatures along various tribes. | ||
| It's like similar to those fish they find that they thought was extinct for around 100,000 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Armored plated fish. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of animals. | ||
| I mean, that's cryptozoology in a nutshell. | ||
| There's a lot of animals that we think are extinct that probably aren't. | ||
| But that one is a very unlikely one. | ||
| Because it's, you know, it needed an enormous supply of food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's a huge, huge animal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the thing about it is that the sightings occur all in the Pacific Northwest, which, if you follow the Bering landmass, that's where they would have come across. | ||
| If they came across with humans, they would have come across into Alaska, where there's a lot of sightings, and down into the Pacific Northwest, where there's a lot of sightings. | ||
| But there's sightings all over the country now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But is there any fossil record outside of Africa? | ||
| Of Gigantopithecus? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, there's not. | ||
| No, there's not. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's Asia, actually. | ||
| Asia is where they find them. | ||
| Yeah, it's not even Africa. | ||
| Ironically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because Asians are tiny. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Tiny people. | ||
| Well, it's not a person. | ||
| Not this one. | ||
| It's compelling in the sense that there was a bunch of different kinds of hominids that existed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we only now know that we interbred with Neanderthal. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That most of us have Neanderthal DNA in us. | ||
| Yeah, most white folks, which is interesting, right? | ||
| Because it was the opposite. | ||
| If it was black people had it, it would be a really controversial subject, you know, but instead it's dumb white people like me. | ||
| I have 57% more Neanderthal DNA than the average person. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm not going to argue that. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I was like, I knew it. | ||
| I'm pretty sure my Neanderthal count is low. | ||
|
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What? | |
| You'd be surprised. | ||
| It explains the club you carry around. | ||
| I got rid of that, bro. | ||
| It's a European thing. | ||
| A lot of Europeans, you know, interbred with... | ||
| And Neanderthals, by the way, had a way longer run than we have. | ||
| Well, they colonized Europe way before... | ||
| They were around for 500,000 years unchanged. | ||
| I mean, Homo sapiens have only been around... | ||
| No, not long at all. | ||
| I think like 300,000-ish years. | ||
| And our ego sort of says, oh, we usurped and we drove them into extinction. | ||
| And in fact, no, we just mated them into extinction. | ||
| Fucked them to death. | ||
| Just dissolved it. | ||
| Just diluted it until it was gone. | ||
| Yeah, we ruined their purity. | ||
| We probably drugged them and neutered them. | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| Once you've figured out how to do that. | ||
| Ah, which is early. | ||
| You know about that Hobbit person thing that they found on the Island of Flores? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's another one that they didn't know until... | ||
| No, what's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Homo floriensis, I think is the name of it. | ||
| It's a tiny little person-like thing. | ||
| It was like three feet tall. | ||
| And had large feet. | ||
| Why are you guys looking at me? | ||
| Nah, bro. | ||
| No, we all have our own genetic history. | ||
| That was a real thing that existed as recently as... | ||
| Three feet? | ||
| See that image? | ||
| That's what they looked like. | ||
| And that existed, yeah, Homo florenciensis. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And they existed as recently as 14,000 years ago. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They coexisted with modern humans. | ||
| Yeah, and they think modern humans might have wiped them out because they were probably, they think there's some cannibalism, not cannibalism, but they preyed upon our children and stuff like that. | ||
| They ate us. | ||
| They ate us? | ||
| They were eating us? | ||
| Well, one of the things that I read, the speculation, was that there might have been an issue with them invading and trying to see... | ||
| Chimps have stolen babies and eaten them. | ||
| It's a really common thing, actually. | ||
| Babies are delicious. | ||
|
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|
Well, that's why people like lamb, unfortunately. | |
| Veal. | ||
| Yeah, well, exactly. | ||
| There was a company that produced a vegan version of human flesh to try and sell to people in Papua New Guinea. | ||
| That's disgusting. | ||
| Where do I get this? | ||
| Who are no longer allowed to eat human flesh. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| I read this thing about people in New Guinea that were cannibals, and they were talking to them after World War II, and they were trying to figure out how the Europeans, once they found out how many people were killed during World War II, they were trying to figure out how the Europeans managed to eat that much meat. | ||
| And then they told them, no, they don't eat the people they kill, and they were horrified. | ||
| They were like, so you waste all the people that you kill in battle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All that good meat? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it would be horrible. | ||
| Yeah, it's a waste. | ||
| What a crazy way to look at it. | ||
| And they believe they absorbed the noble qualities of their enemy. | ||
| Only the good spots. | ||
| Yeah, by eating them. | ||
| Certain spots you don't eat. | ||
| Yeah, if you killed someone in a battle who you thought was truly... | ||
| A great warrior. | ||
| That's what brings you back to the whole UFO thing that makes it so compelling to me. | ||
| We have really serious protocols for dealing with uncontacted tribes. | ||
| We don't engage with uncontacted tribes. | ||
| We almost universally agree. | ||
| I mean, loggers do and the Amazon assholes and mean people, but the idea in the scientific community is we should leave these people alone. | ||
| And so when they find these uncontacted tribes, whether it's North Sentinel Island where that missionary was killed recently or the Amazon when they're going through these jungles and finding these small bands of people, overwhelmingly everybody wants to back off and leave them alone. | ||
| And they are so close to us. | ||
| I mean, they're human beings. | ||
| They're homo sapiens. | ||
| They have tools. | ||
| They have civilization. | ||
| They have law. | ||
| They have all these different things. | ||
| They live in these communities. | ||
| They're us. | ||
| And we back off. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| What aliens. | ||
| Imagine what aliens would do. | ||
| Just imagine. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| They don't want to screw this up. | ||
| The human flesh alternative. | ||
| The healthy human flesh alternative. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| It's not real? | ||
| It's not real, though. | ||
| It's a hoax from like... | ||
| 4chan. | ||
| Another 4chan thing. | ||
| One Hufu burger, please. | ||
| I'll be down for a Hufu burger. | ||
| I'll have a deep fried Hufu burger. | ||
| Long pig. | ||
| Once you see tofu processed, you're like, oh, this is... | ||
| I'm going back to me. | ||
| Is this really good for you? | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| This is so processed. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's so fucking slop. | ||
| It's like reduced to nothingness and then formed again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Can I just eat soybeans? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Yeah, which you can do. | ||
| You can buy a bag of frozen ones. | ||
| That's the way to go. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Don't eat fucking tofu. | ||
| Why do I have to have it? | ||
| Because it tastes terrible. | ||
| In like a toothpaste tube. | ||
| Well, it tastes like nothing. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's a weird choice. | ||
| Yeah, I can't stand anything made from tofu. | ||
| But I think that if aliens did see us, they would probably take a hands-off approach if we weren't totally ruining everything. | ||
| Like, if we didn't have some antimatter weapon. | ||
| They'd observe. | ||
| That's about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Some black hole weapon that we're just going to just fucking nuke on New Mexico just to see how it works. | ||
| Happen. | ||
| And if they saw that it was going to burn a hole through the planet and kill everything, they might step in. | ||
| Maybe for a second. | ||
| Well, there was before they launched CERN. Yes. | ||
| We all thought it was going to open up a black hole. | ||
| That it would create a particle that would devour the fabric of the universe. | ||
| They thought it was a black hole that would expand and expand and expand. | ||
| Maybe it did. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Maybe we did. | ||
| God, man. | ||
| Maybe we restarted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe we're in a parallel universe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Maybe we're knocked off our timeline into another place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It makes less sense. | ||
| Yeah, it was the thing that was going around on the internet a little while ago, that the evidence of multiple universes that we pop in and out of different realities. | ||
| Yes, right. | ||
| Like the fact that we... | ||
| It's a multiverse. | ||
| Like the Ford logo. | ||
| Let's say, do you remember, do you recognize this part of the Ford logo? | ||
| And most people never noticed it. | ||
| There's a weird little squiggle in the F. Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The FedEx thing blows people's minds too. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's the arrow. | ||
| What arrow? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Bring up FedEx. | ||
| You'll never not see the arrow again. | ||
| Yeah, same thing with the Ford logo. | ||
| So it's all perceptions. | ||
| It's been there the whole time, and I didn't know there was an arrow there. | ||
| Yeah, there are people who will insist that... | ||
| The FedEx arrow is really... | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| Okay, but that's an accidental arrow. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think so? | |
| They designed it in there. | ||
| Where's the arrow? | ||
| They definitely designed it right there? | ||
| Oh, yeah, right there. | ||
| The white part? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Now you never see it again. | ||
| Or never not see it again. | ||
| I know, it's funny. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| But I mean, that could be like the universe, right? | ||
| What's the Ford thing? | ||
| The little squiggle in the F. Jesus. | ||
| Why is that a squiggle? | ||
| I never saw that. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Who the fuck makes an F like that? | ||
| That means it actually spells Fjord. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or Fjord. | ||
| Fjord. | ||
| Fjord. | ||
| Is that an I? What is it? | ||
| Why would they squiggle that? | ||
| Why did they do that? | ||
| Oh, it's not there. | ||
| Ooh, we didn't used to do that. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| See, it's stuff that's right in front of you that you don't even know. | ||
| The Mandela effect, that's right, yeah. | ||
| That's right, yeah, the people who insist that Mandela died in jail. | ||
| So was there always a squiggle? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that a real Ford, that little thing? | ||
| When did they make the squiggle? | ||
| Okay, that's normal. | ||
| Because that's what I thought the Ford thing looked like until I saw this Mandela effect. | ||
| Maybe in the future. | ||
| Did they stop the squiggle at some point? | ||
| They must have. | ||
| Or the opposite. | ||
| Maybe they add the squiggle. | ||
| Dave, you can't bring up the squiggle without proper information. | ||
| I didn't do the research. | ||
| What's a modern Ford? | ||
| Go to a 2019 Ford Mustang. | ||
| Let's see that. | ||
| Let's see if they have the squiggle. | ||
| Yeah, they have the squiggle now. | ||
| It does? | ||
| I think it does. | ||
| So maybe some asshole wanted to justify his existence by ruining their beautiful logo. | ||
| I changed the logo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I mean, logos do change. | ||
| That is the squiggle, I think. | ||
| That's the squiggle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a new Mustang, so the squiggle is a current. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep, the squiggle's current. | ||
| It really doesn't fit. | ||
| No, it looks stupid. | ||
| It would look better without that stupid squiggle. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| The only thing that's saving that squiggle is that no one noticed it up until now. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Now I'm never not going to notice the squiggle. | ||
| Thank you, Mandela Effect. | ||
| I hate Mandela Effect. | ||
| But that just seems like people fucking with something that's not broken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, let's just change it up. | ||
| Remember when they came out with the new Coke? | ||
| Fuck yeah, it was like a riot. | ||
| They had a riot on their hands. | ||
| That's not evidence of a parallel universe. | ||
| That's just a stupid idea. | ||
| They just ruined coke. | ||
| Do you know the coke's made with real cocaine? | ||
| The original coke, yeah. | ||
| No, today. | ||
| Today? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I thought they replaced it with caffeine. | ||
| No, they used coca leaves. | ||
| Back in the 30s? | ||
| The flavor, yes. | ||
| In fact, the company... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still? | |
| Dude, it's crazy. | ||
| The company that uses the coca leaves, that brings in the coca leaves to make Coca-Cola, is the number one creator of medical grade cocaine. | ||
| They use that coca leaf to also make medical grade cocaine. | ||
| There's no cocaine in Coca-Cola, but there is a flavor. | ||
| That's a bunch of different Ford logos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Over the years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, I just drink Diet Coke, which is just chemical. | |
| 1927? | ||
| 2003? | ||
| All of them. | ||
| I like the one in 1903. That's actually pretty dope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, very weird. | |
| Google, they use coca leaves to make Coca-Cola. | ||
| They still do. | ||
| They actually do. | ||
| And then the company that does that makes cocaine. | ||
| Yeah, because the recipe for Coke is herbal. | ||
| There's like a lot of herbs that go into Coke. | ||
| Yes, it's a flavor. | ||
| Yeah, but the Diet Coke is just chemicals. | ||
| It's all artificial. | ||
| Remember I was in school when the new Coke thing happened? | ||
| See, look at this. | ||
| Advertising. | ||
| Besides producing the cocoa flavor agent for Coca-Cola, the Stephan Company extracts cocaine from the coca leaves, which sells it to, hmm, Alan Kroc, a St. Louis, Missouri pharmaceutical manufacturer that is the only company in the United States licensed to purify cocaine from medical use, medicinal use. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| So they're actually using actual coca leaves. | ||
| So someone, I guarantee you, if you follow the paperwork, there's a bunch of cocaine hanging around the executives. | ||
| A little residual. | ||
| Those guys, they get a little bit here and there. | ||
| Chewing leaves at work. | ||
| Yeah, gives you a little pep-me-up. | ||
| That's what's amazing is that you're not allowed to chew the leaves, because apparently chewing the leaves is really healthy. | ||
| You get flavonoids, it's actually good for you, and it gives you a pickup that's very similar to caffeine. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's why... | ||
| Yeah, people living in those forests have been chewing them. | ||
| Amazon rainforests, they love chewing those leaves. | ||
| What's this, Jamie? | ||
| It's just one of those weird things that pops up when you see 90% of their sales are done in the United States, but it's an Irish tax-registered manufacturing. | ||
| That's the Irish economic explosion. | ||
| Mark Trudeau is the CEO. One of those weasel moves. | ||
| One of them tax weasel moves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Taxes. | ||
| That's a... | ||
| Bizarre when you find out these giant corporations that make billions of dollars. | ||
| That they're all in Ireland. | ||
| And they weasel out of taxes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, you know. | ||
| Yeah, how much did Amazon pay last year? | ||
| Because they don't believe in socialism. | ||
| Did you read that? | ||
| How many taxes they paid last year, Amazon? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Well, you know. | ||
| It's nice that it exists. | ||
| You get a one-click and you have some toilet paper sent to your house. | ||
| I'm happy. | ||
| I'm happy to use their product. | ||
| And that's why they needed a billion dollars in tax breaks from the city of New York. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They could pay zero in taxes. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| And why did they need those tax breaks in Long Island? | ||
| Maybe that's why the aliens won't land. | ||
| They're like, you fucking dummies. | ||
| You let Amazon fuck you over like that? | ||
| Or maybe that's why they're coming here. | ||
| All their money's in Ireland. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Ireland's doing great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ireland's kicking ass with cocaine. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| I'm going to Ireland. | ||
| Chew leaves. | ||
| Aliens got a bank somewhere. | ||
| I'm going to curl. | ||
| There's some sort of a ballot initiative where they're trying to put psilocybin in the same medicinal category as they're doing with marijuana. | ||
| I hope they do. | ||
| What do you mean like we'll be able to get in stores? | ||
| In California they're trying to do that and pass medical psilocybin for therapy. | ||
| Well, here, I've been on antidepressants since news radio days. | ||
| And I actually just went off this month. | ||
| This month? | ||
| How are you feeling? | ||
| Good. | ||
| You look great. | ||
| Good, yeah. | ||
| I'm feeling very good. | ||
| Part of it was because I had this head injury a few years ago. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I had a... | ||
| Well, I don't know if you remember this. | ||
| I used to drink quite a bit. | ||
| I do remember. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Now, I... You do. | ||
| One night, about four years ago, I went out and got really drunk and... | ||
| Right before Christmas and wound up, I guess, at a bar called The Must downtown, right around the corner from my apartment. | ||
| And I fell down on the patio, just fell over like that. | ||
| I would call it a deadfall backwards. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And landed on the back of my head. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a deadfall. | |
| And hit my head on the stone patio with enough force that my brain gave me a black eye from the inside of my head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| It's called cerebral hemorrhage, I believe. | ||
| Yeah, and I had a subdural hematoma. | ||
| I was in the ICU for four days. | ||
| He had this red eye. | ||
| He had one of those bright red blood eyes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you have pictures of this? | ||
| Yeah, I do somewhere. | ||
| Put one on Instagram? | ||
| No, I guess my... | ||
| Tabitha's... | ||
| Not Tabitha's... | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Sorry, they can edit this out. | ||
| Can you edit that out of my memory, though? | ||
| Edit this out? | ||
| Is this like Total Recall, where you can just remove things? | ||
| But Chrissy... | ||
| No, Chrissy has the photos of all that. | ||
| But the weird thing was... | ||
| And then I decided... | ||
| All right, well, I said, all right, I've got to quit drinking. | ||
| And I thought, you know, it'll be hard, but I'll do it. | ||
| And... | ||
| And I kept waiting for it to get hard, to not drink. | ||
| And it never did. | ||
| Like, I'm now four years, I haven't had a drink in four years. | ||
| It's on heroin now, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you do anything? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| No pot? | ||
| No. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I wish, because I don't like pot. | ||
| I wish I could enjoy pot. | ||
| What don't you like about it? | ||
| It makes me very quiet and paranoid. | ||
| That's my favorite part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For real, that's what I like about it. | ||
| I like pot. | ||
| But you seem very lucid when you're on pot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You seem very communicative. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whereas when I smoke pot, I can't put a sentence together. | ||
| Yeah, it makes me friendly. | ||
| Yeah, it makes me very withdrawn. | ||
| Alcohol makes me friendly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It does that for me, too. | ||
| Yeah, I always say the one thing I miss about drinking is, you know, the liking people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You used to like me more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a thing, right? | ||
| But because of this brain injury, it never was hard... | ||
| To not drink. | ||
| My urge to drink was gone. | ||
| From getting knocked in the head? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And also, I noticed over the couple of years, I said, I haven't had any depression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And so, I guess in November, I talked to my doctor and said, I want to go off the antidepressants and see what happens. | ||
| And so I've been like gradually weaned off and just this month took like the last antidepressant about a month ago. | ||
| So how long is the weaning process? | ||
| It's like about three months. | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| It's really addictive. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And how do you do it when you're weaning? | ||
| It's just gradually reducing the dosage, the daily dosage and then doing it every other day and then it's gone. | ||
| But they have a protocol? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so, did he discourage you? | ||
| No, my doctor was, he was excited about it. | ||
| He said, oh, that's great. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good, good. | |
| You know, I said, but, you know, keep in touch and let me know. | ||
| He was a real doctor, too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| He had a reflector on his head. | ||
| That's all you mean? | ||
| Oh, that means he's a real doctor. | ||
| He had a white lab coat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he was like, you know, and he's like, I think he lives in the neighborhood. | ||
| He's always walking around outside. | ||
| That's him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a doctor. | ||
| So we did it, and so now I'm about a month in without any antidepressants. | ||
| What is the difference? | ||
| I don't really know yet. | ||
| I mean, it's hard to gauge it. | ||
| You don't feel different? | ||
| I definitely feel more emotional. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| You know, I kept crying at the Oscars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What? | ||
| What parts? | ||
| All of it. | ||
| What? | ||
| You could have had Kevin Hart host. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you fucked it up. | ||
| But no, I think I'm more emotional. | ||
| You're more connected, baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, so we'll see what happens. | ||
| You know, hopefully, I mean, part of what I was thinking, I hope it will help with writing, because I felt like I was having trouble coming up with story ideas for things. | ||
| You do hug me too long now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I've become a predator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that's what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I feel good about it, is the important thing. | |
| So, the only thing is emotions and you feel more creative? | ||
| You feel more in touch? | ||
| I don't know yet. | ||
| I don't know yet. | ||
| And I don't even know if I feel, I just know, I definitely know there's a... | ||
| There's a heightened emotionalism. | ||
| Has it affected your improvising? | ||
| It doesn't seem to have. | ||
| I was worried it would. | ||
| I was worried that I might not be able to go out and do those shows because I was worried I might be more moody. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But it so far hasn't affected them. | ||
| Because I went on them in news radio because I couldn't work at one point. | ||
| I got to the point where writers couldn't work anymore. | ||
| And that's when I started going on antidepressants, and it saved me. | ||
| So I totally believed people should get on meds and stay on them. | ||
| It definitely helped some people. | ||
| I mean, it saved a couple of my friends, for sure, that were suicidal and just really didn't know where to turn. | ||
| They got on the right ones, and they had experiment. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think I would have made it through the 2000s. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And we just lost Brody Stevens, just died. | ||
| Yeah, he got off his meds. | ||
| He didn't like the way it felt to be on them. | ||
| He's so hard. | ||
| That's such a hard one to take because everyone loved that guy. | ||
| And to think that everyone... | ||
| I mean, he has no haters. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| A single person was like, that guy was a dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No one. | ||
| Everyone loved him. | ||
| He hit everybody really hard. | ||
| Yeah, from close friends to people who just knew him a little bit. | ||
| Like, I knew him just a little bit. | ||
| He was so sweet, but he was so tortured. | ||
| He was just in pain all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so strange that you think the thing that people like most is for other people to love them and care about them. | ||
| And everybody loved Brody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yet, it just couldn't go on. | ||
| But I've never known Brody to have a relationship. | ||
| I've never known him to have a special someone in his life. | ||
| And I mean, that alone... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It'd probably be very, very depressing. | |
| Well, especially if everyone loves you, but you don't feel connected to any of them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like how empty that feels. | ||
| And that's the core of depression. | ||
| That's fame. | ||
| But it's also the core of depression. | ||
| Having had depression, one of the things that hits you is that feeling that you just can't connect. | ||
| And was yours coming about when your first marriage was breaking up? | ||
| I mean, I have lifelong depression, but I didn't get it treated until that point when I was like, you know, it was like, yeah, because marriage was breaking up and I had to fly to like Africa twice in a month to see my kids. | ||
| Do you remember the time that I protected a reporter from you? | ||
| Oh, at the TCA's. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was on malaria medication and drinking, which apparently you're not supposed to do. | ||
| So, super sweet, kind Dave was going to kick someone's ass. | ||
| And I literally had to, like, hold on to him. | ||
| I kind of want to see that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that was the other thing. | ||
| I'd just been flown to Africa twice, and I just got back, and we did the TCAs. | ||
| And I think I also threw a glass at... | ||
| Oh, fuck, I'm blanking on his name. | ||
| Tony... | ||
| Tony... | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, fuck, I'm blanking, too. | ||
| Nice guy. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| Randall? | ||
| Tony... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I love Tony. | ||
| Tony's a great guy. | ||
| But I was, like, out of my skull, and I just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was a reporter I... You took his tape recorder and dunked it in a glass. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And threatened to kick his ass. | ||
| Yeah, because I was, yeah, I was drunk. | ||
| Yeah, and yeah, I was like, oh my god, do I have to do something? | ||
| Sorry, I missed it. | ||
| I was like, I have to stop this. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I can't believe this is happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's nice. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, and it was after that that I just went on the antidepressants because I crashed really hard after that. | ||
| And it was like one of those things where I said, I can't go to work. | ||
| I can't do anything. | ||
| You were experiencing that combination, apparently, of the malaria medication and alcohol. | ||
| It was like a crazy combination. | ||
| And then you added that jet lag and the trauma of being separated from my kids. | ||
| The malaria pills on their own make you mentally sort of hurt. | ||
| I left Harare to the sound of my eldest child screaming, Daddy, don't go. | ||
| Which even now I can't talk about. | ||
| See, it's not worth having kids. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, it isn't. | ||
| Do you have none? | ||
| I have one. | ||
| I have a 17-year-old. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| They're on their own now, basically. | ||
| In a year, you can just write them off. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Next year, he's going to college. | ||
| But anyway, if you are out there... | ||
| Get on meds and stay on them. | ||
| Like Brody should have stayed on his meds. | ||
| Well, you know, I just, I wish we could have all known how he was and how close he was to that. | ||
| Yeah, well that's the thing. | ||
| It's like people think like suicide, things like if you're close to suicide, it's the most rational choice you'll ever make. | ||
| When you're that close. | ||
| It just seems like the most sensible way to deal with the issue. | ||
| But you've got to stop this because otherwise it's too much pain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I heard someone describe it as... | ||
| It's not even an emotional decision. | ||
| It's a burning... | ||
| It's jumping out of a burning building. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, there's that choice into the burning building or... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's that feeling where you go, this is not an emotional decision I'm making? | ||
| There's no choice. | ||
| I've had two friends hang themselves this year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that is... | ||
| I never thought I would ever say that. | ||
| I never thought that that would be a way that people would be going out either. | ||
| I remember we had Drake say there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, he was hard. | ||
| That was a hard one. | ||
| I knew Drake back in essentially my open mic days. | ||
| He was an established comedian in Boston and I was just starting out. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But so, even though I'm happy that my brain injury seems to have cured my depression. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| Do you know a brain injury was responsible for Sam Kinison? | ||
| Oh, the car crash, right? | ||
| Yeah, he got hit by a car when he was a kid and became this wild man. | ||
| Same thing with Roseanne. | ||
| I mean, one of the reasons why I wanted to have Roseanne on the podcast and talk about her issue with her television show and everything and her outbursts and all the crazy stuff she says on Twitter is because I know her and I know her past. | ||
| And so right away at the beginning of the podcast, I was like, let's get into what happened to you. | ||
| Because I don't think she talked about it that much. | ||
| She was hit by a car. | ||
| She was in a fucking psychiatric war for nine months. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was gone, and she was never the same person again. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| She was 15 years old. | ||
| Nine months. | ||
| She was walking across the street, and someone had glare in their eyes from the sun and didn't see her. | ||
| Hit her with a car. | ||
| The hood ornament went into her head. | ||
| I mean, she had a severe brain injury. | ||
| She couldn't count anymore. | ||
| She couldn't do math anymore. | ||
| She was a very smart student before then, and then crippled by it afterwards. | ||
| And then for nine months she was in a psych ward, and she talked about it. | ||
| I'm like, I wanted people to know. | ||
| I don't think anybody knows that. | ||
| They know now, hopefully more than they knew then, but people that work with her did. | ||
| So when they were writing her off, I'm like, Jesus Christ, this is like taking a person with a broken leg and saying, you know, I'm mad at you that you can't run. | ||
| Yeah, and that's the thing. | ||
| Obviously, Roseanne said some crazy and terrible things and messed up a lot of people's lives, but she's also a genius. | ||
| She's a comedic genius. | ||
| Yeah, she also made that show one of the best shows on TV when it was originally on the show. | ||
| But she's always done crazy shit. | ||
| You remember when she grabbed her crotch and spit when she did the National Anthem and everybody hated her then? | ||
| They went crazy. | ||
| And this is like early 2000s she did that. | ||
| She was always wild. | ||
| But that was why she was so good as a comic. | ||
| That was her appeal, though. | ||
| She did not give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unpredictable. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, just wild. | ||
| And that is like Kinison. | ||
| And it came out of head injuries. | ||
| You know, really, that's a lot of it. | ||
| Well, there was the famous guy who was, I guess, working in a mine. | ||
| There was an explosion and a rebar went through his brain. | ||
| And after that, they said he became evil. | ||
| He was just an evil person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After this rebar went through his brain. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the Texas school book depository shooter. | ||
| It wasn't school book depository. | ||
| Texas tower shooter. | ||
| Texas tower shooter had a brain tumor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They found it out after he died. | ||
| Like, oh, this is what it was. | ||
| But you also have people who have suffered brain injuries and come out of it being able to speak French. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Or play piano. | ||
| Play piano, yes, yes. | ||
| I think most people who speak French probably have a brain injury. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Am I right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or people that suddenly can paint photorealistic paintings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes, I know. | ||
| Who have never had any artistic ability before, but they have a brain injury, and it unlocks that. | ||
| All I got was sobriety out of it. | ||
| How can you know language? | ||
| It's amazing, though. | ||
| It does happen, for real. | ||
| Well, they can learn it quicker, I think. | ||
| I don't think they know it initially. | ||
| They don't come out knowing it somehow? | ||
| Well, the piano, I've heard these people, they literally could sit down and just knew what to do. | ||
| Well, there's certain things that happen, right, if people have certain spectrum issues, right, where they're far better at mathematics, far worse at social interactions. | ||
| There's pathways that are more lubed for you to figure things out that aren't as confused by social issues or social stigmas or just normal human communication. | ||
| Smartest people in history, a lot of them. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| A lot of super fucking geniuses are on the spectrum. | ||
| Well, Einstein didn't speak until he was five? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They thought he was mentally retarded. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was back when they used to use that word, too. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Now you can get in trouble. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank God we didn't use it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you had the head injury, so how much time was it before you felt like, did you just stop drinking on the spot? | ||
| Yeah, it was December 22nd. | ||
| I remember Jackie was going to visit you. | ||
| And remember it was Hawaii, right? | ||
| They were going off? | ||
| No, New York. | ||
| New York. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to go to take Chrissy and Alina to New York. | ||
| We were going to go to New York for the holidays, for Christmas and New Year's. | ||
| My wife was like, now you're not, because you did this, you don't get to go to New York with your family. | ||
| And they went at me. | ||
| But then again, Chrissy, I woke up in the ICU and Chrissy and Alina were there and we celebrated Christmas in the ICU. Wow. | ||
| That was a pivotal moment. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So you just decided on the spot, no more drinking? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just said, alright, I think I'm done. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And again, I was preparing, because a few years earlier, maybe eight years earlier, I tried quitting drinking. | ||
| You told me about this. | ||
| You were talking to me about pot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We were talking about, you were like, I've got to stop drinking. | ||
| How far did you get? | ||
| I went a year and a half without drinking, I think. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, but I hated every minute of it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like, every day I thought it would be nice to drink. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| You just hung in there for a few hundred days. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Still pretty good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But even now, I'll still go, oh, I'll think, yeah, I do miss the taste of scotch. | ||
| Because you work so hard to learn to like it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you really like scotch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are the positive benefits of not drinking? | ||
| Of not drinking? | ||
| You don't hit me. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But that's only positive for you, Paul. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I thought we were talking about everybody's positive thing. | ||
| This doesn't really affect me. | ||
| Oh, yeah, whatever. | ||
| I think that I don't do anything to unknowingly embarrass my daughter. | ||
| If I'm going to embarrass my daughter now, it's deliberate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, that's mostly just remembering things, knowing where I was the night before. | ||
| I don't drink and I embarrass my son every single day just by walking around. | ||
| Just being near him. | ||
| Just being next to him. | ||
| He's like, come on, Dad. | ||
| Do you think you are a genetic alcoholic or is this like a learned thing? | ||
| Well, it's hard to say because, I mean, obviously alcoholism runs in my family, but is that just because, you know, we were raised by a horrible alcoholic? | ||
| Do you think there's a genetic connection? | ||
| There's probably a genetic predisposition to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's genetic connections to almost all behavior. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think there's a lot of real free will. | ||
| Yeah, I've come to that more and more as I get older. | ||
| I mean, I battle with it because obviously there are conscious choices that you can make, especially when you really make an effort to move into a certain path of the way of the thinking and believing, but what's causing that? | ||
| How much of his life experience? | ||
| Yeah, you can make conscious efforts to, I guess, ameliorate the influences of your genes. | ||
| But it's like you can live healthy, eat healthy, avoid risks, and you're still going to probably die around 110 at best. | ||
| At best. | ||
| If everything goes great. | ||
| Unless some new advanced medicine. | ||
| Yeah, I think we're going farther than that, guys. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| We very well could. | ||
| We very well could. | ||
| I mean, I had David Sinclair from Harvard on. | ||
| Two weeks ago, who's a life extension specialist who's talking about some fascinating shit. | ||
| You've got to stop those telomeres from snapping off. | ||
| I remember the notion, because people always talk about human lifespan is, we used to live to be 40 on air, but human lifespan hasn't changed at all since essentially the beginnings of human beings. | ||
| It hasn't changed at all. | ||
| The oldest possible lifespan is still exactly the same as it was 50,000 years ago. | ||
| It hasn't changed. | ||
| It's just fewer people are dying young. | ||
| More people are living close to their potential. | ||
| And a lot of that is infant mortality. | ||
| If you look at the actual statistics, the reason why it's so low is not necessarily that no one lived to be 65 back 1,000 years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Babies died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thousands of years ago, people did live to be over 100. Yeah. | ||
| But back then, you'd scratch your foot and then die two weeks later. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Infections. | ||
| But maximum human lifespan hasn't changed at all. | ||
| And that's the thing that maybe is going to start changing. | ||
| Do you exercise at all? | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never ever in your life? | ||
| I mean, as a kid, I liked sports. | ||
| Never go for a hike or anything? | ||
| Very rarely. | ||
| Very rarely. | ||
| You'd feel really good. | ||
| I probably would. | ||
| Yeah, it'll relieve a lot of tension. | ||
| Just a little hike. | ||
| You don't have to do anything crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I keep meaning, especially now that I'm, I think, not just getting older, but actually old. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Now that I'm actually old. | ||
| Dude, we were young when we met. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| We are old people now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| If a kid sees us, like, oh, those are old dudes in their 50s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're old dudes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's crazy. | ||
| I mean, yeah, I'm really almost 60. Yeah. | ||
| You know, 56, that's almost 60. It is. | ||
| You know. | ||
| It's closing in on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a terrible-looking 39. It's true. | ||
| Which is good, though. | ||
| That gives you longevity in this business. | ||
| You're a character actor. | ||
| That's why Steve Martin looks good, because he never looked young. | ||
| Yeah, gray hair. | ||
| Gray hair from the jump. | ||
| Yeah, you could just listen to books on tape and walk. | ||
| It's great, man. | ||
| Just find a place. | ||
| Go Runyon Canyon. | ||
| Just go walk it. | ||
| It's so nice because you can do it at your own pace and it's so good. | ||
| It elevates your heart rate without anything crazy. | ||
| You don't blow your knees out. | ||
| You don't have to do anything nuts. | ||
| You'll feel amazing. | ||
| I've been on the road, so I haven't been doing it on the road, but I have started doing some light weight lifting and that sort of thing. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Just hire someone. | ||
| Make someone come over to your house and tell you to do it. | ||
| I think that's the way to do it. | ||
| Have someone else make you do it. | ||
| They're there at 10 a.m. | ||
| Oh, hi, Bob. | ||
| No way out of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No way out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get some hot Russian lady. | ||
| Yells at you. | ||
| That sounds great. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Now there's my next divorce. | ||
| Are you still doing stand-up? | ||
| I know you were doing stand-up for a little bit. | ||
| You know what I am going to do? | ||
| I have to go pee again. | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Last one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| But no, I stopped once I got Dr. Ken. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Stop peeing? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Stop doing stand-up once you got the television show. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I don't see him enough. | ||
| It's cool to see you two guys together. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I don't want to say it's a lifetime ago. | ||
| It is a lifetime ago. | ||
| But those are in your 20s and 30s, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, I was a totally different human being when I was 27. You were? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, I was crazy. | ||
| I was completely insane. | ||
| What was the switch for you? | ||
| Well, I got older and wiser and realized how fucking stupid I was. | ||
| But also, I was only a few years removed from fighting. | ||
| You know, when I first started doing news radio, I was only like five years removed from my last fight. | ||
| And I still was sparring, so I was still getting hit in the head a lot. | ||
| Would you, like, come into work with a face full of bruises? | ||
| No, not that bad. | ||
| I started doing jujitsu somewhere around NewsRadio, too, around 96. So that was like, I stopped really kickboxing very much after that. | ||
| And then I think I stopped entirely when I was like 30. I just realized, like, this has got to stop. | ||
| I've got to stop doing this. | ||
| So were you like this fit guy that just left it all behind, or did you always keep it up? | ||
| I work out for sanity. | ||
| I've always worked out for sanity. | ||
| There are a lot of people that do that. | ||
| I need it. | ||
| You know, for whatever it is. | ||
| And also, like, my personality was sort of forged by having these moments of clarity after extreme exertion. | ||
| You know, my personality was formed that way. | ||
| Like, if I had a problem, if I had something that I was dealing with, I would just blow it out at the gym, and then I'd have a better look at it, and probably wind up calling somebody and apologizing or something. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| It was like a rush of oxygen to the brain. | ||
| Yeah, well, rush of oxygen in the brain, and maybe even more important than that, a draining of excess energy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I think if you develop a certain way, like I did martial arts literally most of my adult life and growing life up until that point. | ||
| And so my body had sort of developed with this need for that exertion in order to have clarity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| And so I'm like, this is my formula. | ||
| I'm sticking with it. | ||
| So I never let it go. | ||
| It's amazing that you did stick. | ||
| That you've never gone away from that. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I won't think right. | ||
| I don't think right. | ||
| I think so much better. | ||
| When I exercise, I mean, there's no comparison. | ||
| It's like a pill. | ||
| I did this Sober October fitness challenge thing with my friends in October, and we went crazy. | ||
| We were working out like three hours a day because we were wearing these heart monitors. | ||
| And one of the things that I read, because we were trying to get a certain score and whoever got the highest score won. | ||
| One of the things that I recognized from that was that the more I did, in terms of cardio especially, the less things bothered me. | ||
| The more clarity I had, the more peaceful I felt, the more at ease I felt, no internal chatter, you know? | ||
| I just think, for whatever reason, I mean, everybody has their own biological makeup, and for me, my biological makeup is entirely dependent on that. | ||
| Just forget all the health benefits from it. | ||
| Health benefits are giant, but for me, it's my mind. | ||
| Exercise. | ||
| Oh, exercise. | ||
| You know, a friend of mine said that sitting is the new smoking. | ||
| Yeah, they always say that. | ||
| It's not good for you. | ||
| It's a compression of your discs, for sure. | ||
| Especially your lower back. | ||
| And if you don't have good posture, it's not good. | ||
| But you can mitigate it with exercise. | ||
| You've just got to make sure that you don't only sit. | ||
| Stretch yourself out. | ||
| Take a yoga class. | ||
| I'm liking this. | ||
| I should be writing this down. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| Do you do any exercising? | ||
| I'm starting more... | ||
| I found out it's hilarious. | ||
| I had a golf back injury type thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Golf? | |
| When you swing that fucking... | ||
| There's a lot of torque. | ||
| It's hard on your back. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| So I go to the doctor and x-rays me and I got freaking scoliosis that I never knew. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| All my life. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| At the bottom of my spine. | ||
| What do they do about that? | ||
| Laugh at me. | ||
| By the way, I'm in there with my wife, Jackie, while he brings in the x-rays, puts them up in the thing and goes, Hey, buddy, you got scoliosis! | ||
| And she bursts out laughing. | ||
| And says, That's why you walk that way! | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| For real. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Every school at some point had the one hot girl with scoliosis who had the headgear on, right? | ||
| Every school had that hot girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Then we'd go, oh, she didn't have the headgear on, man. | ||
| She's really hot. | ||
| They had to have headgear for scoliosis? | ||
| Yeah, it was like a... | ||
| They tried to straighten it out back then. | ||
| ...and it had metal rods that were tied into the head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, was that a scoliosis thing? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought that was a broken neck. | ||
| Yeah, it was a scoliosis. | ||
| That's a neck halo. | ||
| I know her girl had a whole... | ||
| Chest thing? | ||
| Yeah, she had a big plastic thing that she had to wear to keep her spine straight. | ||
| She had to wear it for two years or something. | ||
| Did it work? | ||
| Sure, I guess. | ||
| You didn't stay in touch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What do they do with it now? | ||
| It's still the same thing. | ||
| I had a meeting with the specialist and he's like, well, I like operating on people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the first thing he says. | |
| That's what I do. | ||
| That's why I got into this. | ||
| I like cutting them when they're asleep. | ||
| You can do some exercises and some physical therapy and stuff to alleviate it and if it gets so bad down the road, I could maybe help you out with some rods. | ||
| So you went in there because there was an initial issue. | ||
| I had, like, issues when I was young, when I used to do, like, track and field and stuff. | ||
| I would get, like, a pain in an area. | ||
| And then it kind of went away most of my life. | ||
| Then I started golfing. | ||
| And then I golfed more and more. | ||
| And then one day I didn't warm up. | ||
| And I did a twist. | ||
| And it just freaking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was in a certain spot. | ||
| And I went. | ||
| And it was like, you've always had this condition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| There's a picture of Paul. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I look terrible in that photo. | ||
| That's a strange look. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| What's going on with his dick? | ||
| His dick's getting constricted. | ||
| That's something they'd wear in the group. | ||
| Under the pants, maybe. | ||
| That's just the costume from TLC. It's something Bowie would have worn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| In his androgynous phase. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They said I just got to suck it up and exercise and get a strong core. | ||
| And I should be fine. | ||
| Take yoga. | ||
| I gotta do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| That's like appearing for old people. | ||
| You do yoga? | ||
| All the time, yeah. | ||
| Did you just start it as an old person? | ||
| No, I did it when I was younger, and then I didn't do it seriously until about three, four years ago. | ||
| Then I just do it, and now I do it almost everywhere. | ||
| Because you always did martial arts, and I always feel like yoga was for people that just were too lazy for martial arts. | ||
| No, yoga does some things that really enhance martial arts, in fact. | ||
| Are you a hot yoga guy? | ||
| Yeah, I like that stuff. | ||
| That seems like torture to me. | ||
| It is a little bit of torture, but it's really good for you because your body produces heat shock proteins that are similar to when you go into a sauna. | ||
| You feel great when you come out of there? | ||
| You feel great, but it's also really good for inflammation. | ||
| Just the act of doing it itself in the extreme heat. | ||
| Like, sauna would be amazing for you, too, for that reason. | ||
| There's a woman named Dr. Rhonda Patrick that's a regular on the show. | ||
| I have her on all the time, and she's a genius, but she's a huge believer in sauna. | ||
| They did a study in Sweden or some shit where they took people with regular sauna use versus not, and the regular sauna use had a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality, heart attack, stroke, cancer. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes, because when you're regularly using it, 20 minutes a day for four days a week, what they're essentially saying is that your body producing those heat shock proteins and those cytokines... | ||
| 20 minutes of yoga? | ||
| Yeah, no, no, no. | ||
| Heat. | ||
| Heat, sauna, just sauna. | ||
| Just sauna heat. | ||
| Sitting in a sauna, going in a sauna. | ||
| I've got a sauna out here. | ||
| Sit in a sauna, 20 minutes. | ||
| Just doing that is... | ||
| Almost all ailments and issues deal with inflammation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I have two pinched nerves right now and like herniated discs. | ||
| And I was like on the couch for like two months, couldn't move. | ||
| Is that from your injury? | ||
| No, I don't think it was. | ||
| I don't know what it was from, but it may have been. | ||
| It may have been, but it was like one day it just started, my arms started hurting. | ||
| You're pointing towards your neck. | ||
| Yeah, it's like somewhere in here, the herniated discs are. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| It's a sciatica type thing? | ||
| No, no, sciatica is your lower back. | ||
| Yeah, that's your lower back. | ||
| Your arm hurts. | ||
| Two months, my entire arm felt like it was going to explode. | ||
| It felt like there was this pressure building up, and it was literally like it was going to explode. | ||
| And I was getting like the shots you get when you're... | ||
| Epidural. | ||
| Epidural. | ||
| I was getting epidural shots that were doing nothing. | ||
| I was taking 16 Advil a day. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| Don't we take that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was getting no pain relief at all from it. | ||
| And then I started using CBD. Oh. | ||
| And... | ||
| Like that. | ||
| It was gone. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And even now, it's like, you know, I couldn't do any... | ||
| For two solid months, I couldn't get off the couch. | ||
| CBD's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I use that stuff so much. | ||
| I got the rubbing stuff. | ||
| That's great, too. | ||
| And it makes it better for about two days. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| He told me, he had recent shoulder surgery, and he said everybody likes to use the rub stuff, but you really should take it with the edible stuff. | ||
| Like oral CBD and rub stuff works together. | ||
| Smoking cream? | ||
| Yeah, I started, I had the cream. | ||
| No, just pop a pill. | ||
| Yeah, I had the cream that I rubbed, and then I started using the tincture with it. | ||
| We have some here if you want some. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| See that case in the back? | ||
| That case is given to us by Speedweed. | ||
| Yeah, that big chest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, cool. | |
| Just a lot of marijuana. | ||
| That's a lot of weed. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| When I start taking the tincture along with the cream, my arthritis went away, too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Information. | ||
| You can see these fingers bent, but I couldn't bend my hand. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's like, that's gone. | ||
| The inflammation. | ||
| Yeah, the knee, my arthritis in my knee is completely gone. | ||
| It'll go away even further if you cut out sugar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cut out sugar in bread. | ||
| I did that and I felt fantastic once the sugar was gone. | ||
| Crazy, right? | ||
| We poison ourselves our whole lives. | ||
| That is a poison. | ||
| Sugar, absolutely. | ||
| That's the one thing. | ||
| When I quit drinking, I wanted more sugar. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was one effect. | ||
| Because I've never had a sweet tooth, really, but when I quit drinking, I suddenly was craving the chocolate. | ||
| Of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Makes sense. | ||
| I should go back to zero sugar. | ||
| I went zero sugar for a while and it felt amazing. | ||
| Now I'm just like little tiny bits here and there. | ||
| Do you do zero? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I had dessert Saturday night. | ||
| I had a big old cake with ice cream on it after dinner. | ||
| So no sugar. | ||
| I went on a date with the wife at Mastro's. | ||
| We had this fat steak and then I got this butter cake with ice cream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sounds awesome. | |
| Oh, it was delicious. | ||
| That sounds great. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Oh, so good. | ||
| That sounds amazing. | ||
| How do you say no to that? | ||
| That sounds amazing. | ||
| And occasionally you've got to say fuck it. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I just, for the most part, I'm on like an 80-20 diet. | ||
| 80% of it is super healthy. | ||
| And then the 20% is occasionally. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that two and five fasting, where two days a week you do like 600 calories, and then the rest of the week you can do whatever you want. | ||
| I'm on the seven and zero diet. | ||
| Seven pig out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I do intermittent fasting. | ||
| So every night if I have dinner at 7 p.m., I don't eat anything for 16 hours. | ||
| I do it once a year at Passover. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yom Kippur. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was weird. | ||
| I found my cholesterol just dropped through the floor when I did that, but I haven't been doing it lately. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boys, we just did three hours. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Can we do this more often? | ||
| I'd love to. | ||
| This is only our second podcast ever, believe it or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Yeah, and I'm in much better shape this time. | ||
| Yeah, you're great, man. | ||
| Everything's wonderful. | ||
| Tell people the name of your podcast again. | ||
| It reads as, Don't Say with Paul and Dave. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But once you get there, be warned, it's Don't Say Cunt. | ||
| It's Don't Say Cunt with Paul and Dave. | ||
| But we can't put that in print. | ||
| Give away your Instagram handle? | ||
| I'm Paul Greenberg1. | ||
| That's E-R-G. And I'm just Dave Foley on Instagram. | ||
| And I'm Dave S. Foley on Twitter. | ||
| And our show is Don't Say with Paul and Dave. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| And if we've got this wrong, you can just do some sort of web search on your own and maybe not have everything spoon-fed to you. | ||
| Get your shit together, folks. | ||
| Do some work for once. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thank you, guys. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Thanks for having us. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| That was really fun. |
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