Oct. 11, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:12:52
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I mean, very few people could ever imagine. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| I have to start smoking. | ||
| Four, three, two, one. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| And we're live. | ||
| Saddle on up to that microphone, young lady. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| How are you, Jill? | ||
| Great to see you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always. | |
| It's so great to see you, too. | ||
| And thanks for saying hi to my sons. | ||
| Your sons are great. | ||
| Fucking A they are, man. | ||
| And that's what I figure is my next step in the tale. | ||
| My next chapter as, what's her name? | ||
| The girl that everyone loves. | ||
| The girl, the singer. | ||
| She's real tall and skinny. | ||
| Taylor Swift? | ||
| Yeah, I can't remember anybody's name anymore. | ||
| There's so many people to remember. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, she said she's on to her next chapter. | ||
| And that's how I feel, too. | ||
| And it's going to be about how, talking to women about how to raise functional sons. | ||
| This is needed in America, and I'm going to step up and do it. | ||
| Because all these tales, with all the news and such, it's obvious to me, these women have not raised their sons correctly, and I'm going to correct them. | ||
| Because I'm tired of them yapping and fucking bitching and moaning. | ||
| I'm old. | ||
| I'm going to tell you what to do to raise decent sons, women. | ||
| Well, your son said something when they were doing the little tour of the studio. | ||
| They saw the picture of Rosa Parks. | ||
| And your son said, that's Rosa Parks. | ||
| And I said, you're one of the few people that ever just pointed that out and noticed it. | ||
| And he goes, of course. | ||
| He goes, Roseanne's my mom. | ||
| She raised me right. | ||
| Oh, that's sweet. | ||
| Isn't that sweet? | ||
| That's getting the, what do you call it? | ||
| What did they call it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Pat on the back. | ||
| Yeah, it is a pat on the back. | ||
| What's the modern vernacular? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's some slang. | ||
| I hear them. | ||
| Well, it's correct. | ||
| I try to stay hip, but I can't fucking do it. | ||
| Well, you obviously did a great job. | ||
| Shout out. | ||
| It's a shout out. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He gave you a shout out. | ||
| Shout out to the moms. | ||
| How are you holding up? | ||
| Everything good with you right now? | ||
| Well, I'm smoking like a bitch. | ||
| How often do you smoke? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Were you smoking before all this happened? | ||
| Oh, hell no. | ||
| Well, secretly. | ||
| Secretly. | ||
| Doug Stanhope got me back on the bastard. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| I quit for like 15 years and Doug Stanhope snuck. | ||
| Every time I see Doug, I'd smoke one. | ||
| That bastard. | ||
| He's got an evil spell on me. | ||
| Oh, he's an evil little man. | ||
| He's sober right now. | ||
| No cigarettes for him either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He always says that. | ||
| No, he's doing Sober October. | ||
| Are y'all doing Sober October? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Wow, why didn't you ask me? | ||
| I would have sobered up for it. | ||
| Would you? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, you wouldn't have done it. | ||
| No, I want to do... | ||
| Get fucked up October? | ||
| I want to go to retox. | ||
| Retox instead of detox? | ||
| That's what my boyfriend Johnny calls it. | ||
| He goes, it's time to retox. | ||
| How many cigarettes are you smoking a day now? | ||
| Well, who's counting? | ||
| You just keep smoking them? | ||
| I'm smoking less than 10. Less than 10 is not bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not as good as zero. | ||
| Well, I was smoking a lot. | ||
| See, I'm cutting it by 10 every week. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So next week it'll be down to one. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| A day. | ||
| All week. | ||
| One a day is not bad. | ||
| And I'll see how I deal with it. | ||
| If anyone dies. | ||
| This whole thing has been... | ||
| Completely fucking insane. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I don't have to tell you. | ||
| But you caught this madness, this outrage culture, right at the peak. | ||
| I think you hit peak outrage culture. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Well, people... | ||
| Didn't give a fuck if you were making a joke. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck if you had no idea that that lady was black. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck what your mental state was. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck if you were on Ambien. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck if you were drinking. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck if you sincerely apologized. | ||
| Oh, go ahead. | ||
| I do want to talk seriously about that. | ||
| But they didn't care that you sincerely apologized and didn't mean to offend. | ||
| You were cracking a joke about a woman. | ||
| It was funny how they mischaracterized it and lied about it and added words to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, yeah, I like to talk about the tweet. | ||
| But, yeah, I seriously apologize to all whom I inadvertently offended. | ||
| And because they were offended for, like, it wasn't even what they say they were offended because it didn't say that. | ||
| No. | ||
| But they think that I tweeted, said she looked like... | ||
| You know, somebody. | ||
| And I never said anything about her looks. | ||
| It was a political tweet. | ||
| And it's just proof of how everybody's under mass mind control. | ||
| Because they took a... | ||
| And of course I'm always interested in that. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| Mass mind control? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think a lot of it's self-imposed. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think people are under the wave of self-imposed mind control. | ||
| I don't think it's like there's anybody pulling the strings. | ||
| You mean you think you can get out of it? | ||
| No, I don't think anyone's You don't? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| I don't think it's by design. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I think people are caught up in a wave of fear and paranoia and political correctness. | ||
| I think one of the reasons why they attack someone like you is, first of all, you're wealthy and successful and famous. | ||
| And beautiful. | ||
| You are beautiful. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And one of the best comics of all time. | ||
| Oh, thank you so much. | ||
| You're also an easy target. | ||
| You're a white woman. | ||
| Well, I don't identify as a white woman. | ||
| What do you identify as? | ||
| I identify as a Jew. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| And this is what you thought this woman was as well. | ||
| Well, she looks like my cousin Sharon. | ||
| She looks just like my cousin. | ||
| But it wasn't nothing to do with how she looks. | ||
| That came after my tweet. | ||
| But wasn't it about the planet of the apes? | ||
| It was about the work of her hands, what she engineered in Iran. | ||
| And I'd been on there talking about, I call it a woman's revolution in Iran, for years. | ||
| And speaking to people in Iran about it and what it means to the women who are second-class citizens there. | ||
| And so if you take that one tweet out of like probably – I tweet a lot. | ||
| You go crazy. | ||
| You get on tweet storms. | ||
| No, I don't go crazy. | ||
| I stay crazy. | ||
| I admit it. | ||
| I mean, what the fuck? | ||
| They're like, you know what? | ||
| You've said you're crazy for years, and you know what? | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I said it for fucking years. | ||
| Well, it's also one of the reasons why you're so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
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All of us are crazy. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| All comics are fucking nutso. | ||
| At least I don't wash my keys like some. | ||
| I know some guys, they gotta wash their keys five, six, seven times before they can go on stage. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Oh, I'm so bad on names. | ||
| Chris Farley? | ||
| I always ask comics, you know. | ||
| I ask them, what's your secret number? | ||
| What's yours, Joe? | ||
| I don't have a secret number. | ||
| You don't have a number? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't have to do something a number of times? | ||
| You don't have a number? | ||
| No, I don't have a number. | ||
| What's your birthday? | ||
| 8-11-67. | ||
| 8? | ||
| What's that, August? | ||
|
unidentified
|
August. | |
| 8-11-67. | ||
| You were born in 1967? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Jesus F Christ. | ||
| I was in the Utah State Hospital when you were born. | ||
| What were you doing? | ||
| Giving birth? | ||
| No, I was in a mental institution. | ||
| That was my first hospitalization. | ||
| It lasted for nine months, and it was the Utah State Hospital in Provo, where the Osmonds are from. | ||
| So I was always a big Marie Osmond fan. | ||
| The mental health aspect of this conversation is an important one because here's my take on this. | ||
| It's extremely important. | ||
| It is important. | ||
| And yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day. | ||
| Yes, I know. | ||
| And I was quite aware of being mentally healthy yesterday as I was smoking. | ||
| If someone has an injured leg, you don't expect them to run marathons. | ||
| If someone has something wrong with their liver, you don't expect them to process food correctly. | ||
| You don't blame it on them. | ||
| But if someone has a mental health issue and they do something erratic or they say something that's inappropriate and then they apologize for it. | ||
| Or if they're a comedian. | ||
| Or if they're a comedian. | ||
| And you've had legitimate, real, diagnosed, treated mental health issues, trauma-related issues. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| How do you like that, baby? | ||
| I can do the alphabet. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| But for whatever reason, people want to pretend that this is a deliberate act of By a calculating person who is just being an asshole. | ||
| And that's not the case. | ||
| You're not an asshole. | ||
| Not at this time. | ||
| I have been an asshole on Twitter. | ||
| But you weren't. | ||
| That's not what you were doing. | ||
| No. | ||
| I was talking about Iran and the women's revolution there. | ||
| And it's always been... | ||
| Because, you know what? | ||
| I had my DNA done. | ||
| Because I wanted to know. | ||
| And I am of North African ancestry. | ||
| How much? | ||
| It's like a very small percentage, but it was something like 25,000 years ago they left North Africa, which is kind of Syria, and they went to Lithuania and Russia and some Europe. | ||
| Did you do like 23andMe or something like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it just answered so many questions for, you know, why I feel this yearning towards that part of the world. | ||
| But I do, you know, and especially the geopolitics there are some that have always intrigued me. | ||
| And I have always attempted to use my voice to, you know, support all the people there. | ||
| Well, it's a fascinating part of the world. | ||
| So it was, you know, this one tweet was like about, it was about, I mean, it's actually a genius tweet if you really fucking knew. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| What exactly did you say? | ||
| Let's find the tweet, Jamie. | ||
| I'll tell you if it's the artificially rendered. | ||
| There's an artificially rendered one? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of them. | ||
| What people distorted what you actually said? | ||
| Yeah, first it was racist Roseanne, and then a couple weeks later it was disgraced comic Roseanne and her racist tweet, and then after that it was disgraced comic and her offensive racist tweet. | ||
| Because there's all these hoops you've got to jump through, you know? | ||
| They're never done punishing you. | ||
| Well, like we were saying before the podcast started... | ||
| And all my friends said, don't apologize to social justice warriors because that's the kiss of death. | ||
| That's fucking chum in the water, blood in the water, you know? | ||
| It's definitely a little bit of that. | ||
| But what I was saying before the podcast to you is I don't really... | ||
| What I really think happens is they find a target and they don't care if it's a viable target. | ||
| But once the target gets greenlit, they go after you until some new target comes along. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They always have to have a target, for sure. | |
| And it's recreational outrage. | ||
| They find you, they attack you, and they go after you, and they try to distort your position. | ||
| And even if they don't know what the fuck you said. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And obviously they don't. | ||
| That's what kind of cracks me up. | ||
| It's like, look at this. | ||
| Look what they're saying it meant. | ||
| And, you know, I'm not going to bow down before them and say you were right, and they want me to. | ||
| But they weren't right. | ||
| I'm right. | ||
| I wrote it. | ||
| Bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
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Bitch. | |
| So I know what I meant. | ||
| So you don't fucking get to tell me what I meant. | ||
| But they don't care. | ||
| I know. | ||
| This is the thing is they don't want to look at it rationally and say, oh, here's a woman that has a history of mental health problems. | ||
| She was on Ambien and drinking, and she says something that is slightly irrational, but given your explanation of it... | ||
| Well, Joe, you and Doug both always think all my tweets make no sense. | ||
| You've been saying that for fucking years since I went on Twitter. | ||
| You're like, her tweets are just fucking straight up crazy. | ||
| Well, you have some crazy tweets for sure. | ||
| I don't think they're crazy. | ||
| You just don't get them. | ||
| Well, maybe if I was in the same mindset as you, I would get them. | ||
| Yeah, but obviously no one is. | ||
| But when I say crazy, I think they're fun. | ||
| I know I don't think like other people. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| I've always known that my whole life. | ||
| I'd always test other people, see what they were thinking. | ||
| Like, even as a kid, I'd be like, you know, but I try to fit in. | ||
| They go, let's play Barbies, you know, and I'm like... | ||
| I'm like, okay, well, but let's have Barbie be a resistance fighter that paratroops into the hidden lines of the German thing and save all the Jews. | ||
| And they'd go, you have to be her cousin Skipper! | ||
| And then they'd hand me the Skipper doll. | ||
| I always had to personify Skipper and they got to be Barbie. | ||
| I didn't even know Barbie had a cousin. | ||
| Yeah, Skipper, she has little tiny tits. | ||
| And I resented that. | ||
| Because I always had very large pendulous breasts since I was four or five. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I don't think or look like other people. | ||
| I think I'm an alien, really. | ||
| What planet do you think you'd be from? | ||
| Well, somebody told me I was from Pleiades. | ||
| Do you know anything about that? | ||
| Yeah, that's the people that call the Art Bell Show. | ||
| They would always say that from Pleiades. | ||
| Yeah, they say round faces are from Pleiades. | ||
| See, you got a round face. | ||
| That's what I told you. | ||
| I don't even go by what people look like, except for I do look at the shape of their head, I have to admit. | ||
| That's how I classify people. | ||
| I classify people my own way because I don't think like everybody else thinks. | ||
| I take a person's shape of their head, and that's the group they represent to me. | ||
| And I have noticed that the Dutch have the largest heads. | ||
| The big people. | ||
| The Dutch have pure square, not all of them, of course, but some of them. | ||
| You know, the average height for a Dutch person is like six feet tall. | ||
| I know. | ||
| For the women. | ||
| Huge folks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Vikings. | ||
| Yeah, Vikings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love all the different peoples of the earth because they all have a variety of foods that I enjoy. | ||
| So I like to, you know, I don't just mix with one kind of person in my real life. | ||
| I mix with all kind of people and, you know, because I'll go anywhere for a free meal. | ||
|
unidentified
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Pfft. | |
| But I love cultures. | ||
| And I love all people. | ||
| That's all I want to say, you know. | ||
| I'm not that person. | ||
| You're not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| But you are a person that will make fun of anything. | ||
| My son said I'm a misanthrope. | ||
| I'm a misanthrope. | ||
| You are a misanthrope. | ||
| I am a respectress of no man or woman. | ||
| But most comedians have misanthropic intentions. | ||
| You have to hate all people the same. | ||
| But you definitely have to mock and make... | ||
| I mean, it's part of the job description. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta mock. | ||
| You mock and make fun of and you look for things that are irritating about everything. | ||
| No shit, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's part of the job. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's the funny stuff. | |
| Not only that, that was part of your character on your show. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It was part of the reason why ABC wanted you back. | ||
| It's part of the reason why the show became such a giant hit in its return. | ||
| I mean, it was a fucking huge hit coming right out of the gate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 28 million people. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking people today. | ||
| I know it's number one every episode. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lot of people. | ||
| And a lot of that was because people love this aspect of you. | ||
| But as soon as you get labeled a racist, everybody throws their hands up and goes, whoa, I didn't know she was racist. | ||
| She's racist. | ||
| And they don't care about nuance. | ||
| They don't care about the details. | ||
| They don't care about ambient. | ||
| They don't care about alcohol. | ||
| When I called you on the phone, One thing I've learned, Joe, if you're going to take an Ambien, do not drink a beer. | ||
| Always only drink a wine with Ambien. | ||
| I have a good friend of mine who is one of the nicest, most respectful guys you ever want to meet. | ||
| He woke up in Germany, on a plane, covered in his own vomit, with the police standing over him, asking him if he knew what happened. | ||
| He wound up getting arrested, they brought him to the jail in Germany, And he's a CEO of a large company. | ||
| And they went over things with him and they said, what happened? | ||
| What do you remember? | ||
| He goes, well, I remember taking an Ambien and then I went to sleep and then I had, I guess I had a beer at some point in time. | ||
| And they go, okay, stop. | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| And so they describe how he was hitting on the stewardesses and trying to start fights with men in the cabin and threw up all over himself. | ||
| Wasn't his being his real self. | ||
| He was on Ambien. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It distorts things. | ||
| He's the nicest guy. | ||
| If you knew this guy, you would never in a million years believe that he was capable of anything remotely like this. | ||
| And the German people actually let him stay in the country. | ||
| They let him continue his vacation. | ||
| They're like, okay. | ||
| They forgave him. | ||
| Will you promise not to do that again? | ||
| He goes, I'm never fucking taking that shit again in my life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And one of the things that I said to you when I called you up, I said, what were you doing? | ||
| And you told me you were on Ambien. | ||
| And I said, okay, well stop right there. | ||
| Because I know quite a bit about that. | ||
| Because I've had personal experiences with friends that have had real issues with Ambien. | ||
| I had a bit I did in my act about a friend of mine who literally made a meal while he was on Ambien. | ||
| Cooked, went to the supermarket, got food, cooked it. | ||
| Well look at Tiger Woods. | ||
| He was on that and then he'd go driving off in the golf cart to meet some... | ||
| Chick, you know. | ||
| And I don't understand why people say they have sex on Ambien. | ||
| People say that's a big thing that people take Ambien to have sex. | ||
| I don't even know how they can stay. | ||
| I guess they don't stay awake, but another part of them wakes up and their sex part comes out. | ||
| That's all I can figure. | ||
| I've never taken it. | ||
| I'm terrified of this stuff. | ||
| Don't ever take it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I have no problem going to sleep. | ||
| I've never had a problem going to sleep. | ||
| I do, but you know what I found is THC, they sell it down at the dispensary, and there's one for sleep at night. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And I've been doing that, and I've been sleeping through the night. | ||
| When I was taking the sleeping thing, the sleeping drug. | ||
| Ambien? | ||
| Well, I don't want to say it because we don't want to get sued. | ||
| It's like Candyman. | ||
| You don't want to say it three times. | ||
| You'll get sued, not me. | ||
| By saying Ambien? | ||
| I bet you. | ||
| I don't think they give a fuck. | ||
| Did you see their tweet, though? | ||
| People just want to buy that shit. | ||
| Yeah, I did see that tweet. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, I had Hamilton Morris on the podcast, who is a drug expert. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he writes for Vice and does pieces for Vice. | ||
| I just did a piece for Vice. | ||
| After your incident, he came on and went in great detail about how that is something that happens to people. | ||
| They have no idea what the fuck they're saying. | ||
| It's called a hypnotic. | ||
| That is the classification of drugs that it falls under. | ||
| And people do all sorts of involuntary things when they're on it. | ||
| No, it doesn't just make you say racist things. | ||
| But you didn't say anything intentionally racist. | ||
| I said something political about the work of Valerie Jarrett's hands. | ||
| And I also was referencing my very favorite movie. | ||
| So if we could talk about how fucking awesome that movie, Planet of the Apes. | ||
| Great fucking movie. | ||
| Also, it's the definitive people get your, come on people now, smile on your brother. | ||
| It's like, come on. | ||
| It's like the hundredth monkey. | ||
| Is that the thing? | ||
| Is that the name of it? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| The hundredth monkey on the typewriter. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| No, 10,000 monkeys? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| That if you have a certain amount of monkeys... | ||
| No, it's the hundredth monkey that changes everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If a species does something 99 times in a row, the hundredth time it's gone into their DNA. Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, and then they evolve to the next level. | ||
| A hundredth monkey effect. | ||
| A hundredth monkey effect is a hypothetical phenomenon in which a new behavior idea is claimed to spread rapidly by unexplained means from one group to all related groups once a critical number of members of one group exhibit a new behavior or acknowledge the new idea. | ||
| Yeah, critical mass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well... | ||
| The thing is, a lot of people put pictures of that woman right next to the lady. | ||
| Well, I didn't put no picture. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I said the picture was put up after my tweet. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| And I didn't have nothing to do with that picture. | ||
| I didn't say she looked like anything. | ||
| Seriously, I'm not that fucking shallow, okay? | ||
| I never talk about nobody's looks, unless they're thin and blonde, and I'm jealous. | ||
| But, you know, and youthful now. | ||
| Or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| Wasn't there another tweet that you made a long time ago about who was that other woman? | ||
| Susan Rice. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where you said she has giant swinging eight balls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That she's a man. | ||
| Well, see, let me explain that now because this is regionalistic. | ||
|
unidentified
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Regionalism. | |
| I'm from Utah, and all the girls in Utah, when we got married, and we heard our moms do it too, it's always, where's your ape? | ||
| They go, what's your ape doing this Sunday? | ||
| And he's like, oh, he's watching football. | ||
| All good, let's go out to lunch. | ||
| All of the men were all apes. | ||
| That's how it is in a breeder culture like Salt Lake City. | ||
| Breeder culture? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a breeder culture. | ||
| So it's like, where's your ape? | ||
| And then it's like, man, your ape has big fucking swinging ape balls. | ||
| I give him that. | ||
| You know, it's a regionalistic thing. | ||
| And, you know, so I used it and apologized. | ||
| But, you know, because I didn't realize. | ||
| You know, I just sometimes forget what race everybody is, as if I could tell half the time anyway. | ||
| I can't even see people, to tell you the truth. | ||
| I need like bifocals, trifocals. | ||
| And I never identified other human beings by what they looked like, for God's sake. | ||
| I just could tell if I felt a liking to them, you know? | ||
| Whatever they looked like. | ||
| My point is that there's only two things over the course of thousands and thousands of tweets. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't miss my point. | ||
| I said Susan Rice, let's say that she has incredible audacity. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| And she does. | ||
| But you didn't mean it in a complimentary way. | ||
| If someone is audacious, is that negative or positive? | ||
| Weren't you talking about her in a negative way, though? | ||
| I said she has a lot of audacity. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| She does. | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| But that was one that got brought up as well. | ||
| That was also in the middle of a huge conversation about Benghazi and the Iran deal. | ||
| Those are the two of the three things that I like to do on Twitter, although I'm no longer on there. | ||
| You got off? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bad for you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was glad to see Kanye West got off, too. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When? | ||
| He deleted all his accounts last week. | ||
| And I was glad, too, because you're just like, once you're a target, it's just too painful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you definitely shouldn't be reading that shit. | ||
| No, I don't read it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, well, when you become a target, how do you know if you don't read it? | ||
| Well, I know what I lived through when it first happened. | ||
| And that's been like four or so months ago. | ||
| So I just know how I've reacted in my real life since that happened to me. | ||
| How long did it take for things to die off? | ||
| To die off? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Slow down, where they weren't just coming after you constantly. | ||
| I told you that news crews, when they found out that you were going to come on the podcast the first time, they were trying to show up at my house. | ||
| They were trying to show up at the studio. | ||
| They were trying to find me at the comedy store. | ||
| I mean, they were just trying to hunt down anything about you. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was sneaking cigs from my boyfriend because we were at my mom's house when I did it, you know? | ||
| We were at home in Salt Lake City when I tweeted at 2, 11 a.m. | ||
| I just woke up and tweeted. | ||
| I had this thought in my head, oh my god, this is going to make so much sense. | ||
| And then I tweeted it, and then I went right back to sleep. | ||
| And when I woke up at 7, the shit had hit the fan, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I was like, I'm going to expound on this later. | ||
| It was one of those kind of things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You just want to get it down. | ||
| And I, you know, always slept with my computer and tweet. | ||
| When I wake up, like, you know, when you're old, you have to go to the bathroom a lot, so I always tweet and fall back to sleep. | ||
| See, and then on the Ambien tweets, my daughter, I used to always, when I took my Ambien, I called my daughter, or she called me, she'd go, Mom, you're starting to do the Ambien tweets. | ||
| Get off. | ||
| Get off the Twitter, you know. | ||
| So I just called my daughter then every night when I was doing the Ambien, and I'd go, You know what? | ||
| Here comes a big fish. | ||
| She recorded it. | ||
| Here comes a big fish right through my window. | ||
| Uh-oh, he's getting stuck in the mirror. | ||
| laughter And that's when she goes, Mom, turn it all off and go to sleep. | ||
| I have to have my family tell me that. | ||
| You almost need her standing guard by your bed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hold on, let me read that before you tweet it. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| That's what she does now. | ||
| She took my Twitter account away. | ||
| Were you surprised? | ||
| But then she tweets all these liberal things that I want to just get up in her face and smack her around for. | ||
| Not with your account? | ||
| No, on her own. | ||
| But I'm like, how come it's okay for you to say this? | ||
| But it ain't for me. | ||
| Well, mother, I didn't lose everything. | ||
| Oh, she sticks it in your face. | ||
| We're only trying to help you. | ||
| I'm like, ah, you and your fucking help. | ||
| Sticks it in your face? | ||
| Is she a serious liberal? | ||
| All three of my daughters are serious social justice warrior types. | ||
| And what do they think about your positions on things? | ||
| Well, they think I'm crazy. | ||
| They always did. | ||
| They always thought all my trades for president were crazy. | ||
| But then, oddly, they were all very supportive when I personally ran for president in 2012. They were really supportive of me then. | ||
| Well, you're their mom. | ||
| Yeah, that was cool. | ||
| But like all the other times, it's like, oh, God, mother, it's your generation. | ||
| It's the baby boomers are the reason everything is all fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So stop letting yourself off the hook. | |
| Political conversations in the bar household. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What was it that when you first got brought into a mental hospital, what was it about? | ||
| Well, I had got hit by a car, and the hood ornament went in my head, in my brains, and scrambled them. | ||
| And I used to be an A-plus math student. | ||
| I was just great in geometry. | ||
| Oh, my God, I loved geometry. | ||
| I got straight A's. | ||
| And then I sort of fell apart after that. | ||
| It took a long time to heal from it. | ||
| How much did your personality change? | ||
| Oh, it changed drastically. | ||
| But, you know, you read all that stuff about traumatic head injuries now, because I do read a lot and talk to a lot of football players who have the same thing, and we do discuss it. | ||
| Yeah, you change right away. | ||
| It's still you, but it's kind of like an artificial intelligence you. | ||
| Did you find that you became much more impulsive? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I... Well... | |
| Yeah, here's what happened. | ||
| I was crossing the street on my way to school. | ||
| How old were you? | ||
| I was 16. No, I was 15. Going to first week of high school. | ||
| And I was a big nerd. | ||
| And anyway, I was crossing the street, and it was the top of a hill, and this woman, girl, she was on her way to the university, and the sun blinded her, and she ran me over. | ||
| And the rest is herstory. | ||
| How long were you in the hospital for? | ||
| Some weeks. | ||
| So first you must have been in a medical hospital first, and then you were admitted to a mental hospital afterwards? | ||
| Well, there was about three months in between. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I was in the hospital for a while, you know. | ||
| And I had a head concussion and a brain concussion. | ||
| And I had hamburger meat for legs. | ||
| So they did all these... | ||
| What do they call them? | ||
| Skin grafts on my legs and Yeah, I was in there for a while. | ||
| Then I came out of there and I had forgotten everything about math when I returned to school, which was a matter of weeks after that, maybe two months. | ||
| I'm really bad on time now. | ||
| And I had forgotten all my math and it was just terrible. | ||
| That was a big, depressive depression I went into because I couldn't remember things, you know. | ||
| And also I became way more impulsive. | ||
| Then I was like, I don't know what I did. | ||
| Then I started going really out there into the ethers. | ||
| I went way out there. | ||
| Like how so? | ||
| Way out! | ||
| You know how you go way out. | ||
| Do you ever go way out? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, I've had a lot of head injuries. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| But not terrible. | ||
| Mostly just punches and kicks. | ||
| Nothing like car accidents or never played football. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But my head injuries, you know, they were just more accumulative when I was young until I was about 21, 22, when I stopped fighting, stopped sparring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| But I definitely... | ||
| I'm subject to impulsive behavior. | ||
| Still? | ||
| Yeah, but I keep it under wraps. | ||
| I keep it under control because I'm aware of it. | ||
| But when I was younger, I didn't understand what was going on. | ||
| I would just be subject to whims, very addictive behavior. | ||
| But I tried to keep it positive, but I would be addicted to things. | ||
| Addicted to doing things. | ||
| Addicted to games. | ||
| Addicted like ridiculously addictive. | ||
| Like spend 10, 12, 14 hours a day playing video games. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| That sounds like my kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, some of it's just normal because video games are awesome. | ||
| But for me it'd be everything. | ||
| Martial arts, pool, whatever it is. | ||
| I'd just be completely obsessed with it and be thinking about it all day. | ||
| In a point where it wasn't necessarily healthy. | ||
| On a whim, I would just want to go do something. | ||
| I almost had no control over compulsions. | ||
| And I think some of that is... | ||
| Whatever brain injuries that I've had are very mild in comparison to a lot of people that I know. | ||
| Certainly very mild in comparison to yours. | ||
| Yeah, plus there was a lot of trauma in the state hospital that I'm being there and seeing and experiencing. | ||
| And how long did they admit you for? | ||
| I was in there nine months. | ||
| So what was it that they brought you in there for? | ||
| How were you behaving that they decided that you needed to be admitted? | ||
| I was out there. | ||
| You say that. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't think there's any words the English can understand. | ||
| You didn't have a control of reality. | ||
| You didn't have control of your behavior. | ||
| Your thinking was screwed up. | ||
| I was not thinking like the normal thing that they say you should be thinking about. | ||
| But people around you had realized it, that it was so bad that they had to admit you to a hospital. | ||
| It wasn't just that, oh, Roseanne, she's eccentric. | ||
| It was, she needs actual medical help. | ||
| Yeah, I asked to be admitted. | ||
| You knew something was really wrong? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I finally admitted it was. | ||
| Did you know at the time, were you completely aware that it was connected to your car accident? | ||
| No. | ||
| You just knew something was wrong? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And back then they didn't really kind of understand that, the way they understand it now. | ||
| No, they didn't understand too much about bipolar disorder or they knew nothing about multiple personality disorder. | ||
| Trauma related as well. | ||
| Trauma related, yeah. | ||
| PTSD, now they call everything PTS. Yeah. | ||
| They don't even say D anymore. | ||
| They say PTS. Post-traumatic stress. | ||
| So, when they admitted you, what was the treatment? | ||
| Like, what did they do to you when you were inside the mental hospital? | ||
| Well, they right away put me on an antipsychotic. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Meloril. | ||
| What did that do? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wasn't there. | ||
| You weren't there. | ||
| You were gone. | ||
| I was gone. | ||
| I was just watching these people I was in the mental institution with, and I wanted to tell that story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because there was this one lady. | ||
| I think I told this to Paul Rubens, too. | ||
| I think it might be where he got large Marge. | ||
| But there was this one lady, and she's in this cage, you know? | ||
| She's in a cage with keys on our ward there. | ||
| And Christ, I can't remember her name either. | ||
| Marge. | ||
| Her name was Marge? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she's about 600, 700 pounds. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And she's funnier than hell. | ||
| You know, I thought, man, this chick's got some good lines, you know. | ||
| And I always traded lines with her, and she'd laugh. | ||
| You know, I always like jokes. | ||
| You can always find a joke wherever you are, you know. | ||
| That's the key to life, I think. | ||
| But... | ||
| Oh, everybody called me Chunky. | ||
| That was my name. | ||
| Chunky. | ||
| And there was another girl in there named Shorty. | ||
| So it was Chunky and Shorty. | ||
| We were like a duo. | ||
| But anyway, so she's like, hey, Roseanne, get What's-Her-Name's keys when they go to dinner and open this up here, you know, come in here. | ||
| I'm like, okay, you know, because, you know, after all, I was crazy, too. | ||
| And I trust, I don't know, I just always, I never questioned that there was danger anywhere. | ||
| I always got in trouble, you know, caught, beat up, something, you know. | ||
| But, uh, So I did it, you know. | ||
| Oh, Anka, that was her name, the head nurse. | ||
| I hated her because she told me I needed to bathe. | ||
| I'll tell that story later. | ||
| It was horrifying. | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| But anyway, so they all go to dinner. | ||
| So I go in there, steal the keys out of the thing where they are, you know, the attendants. | ||
| And I go in there with Marge and leave the keys in the door and close the door. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I'm like, hey Marge, how's it going, Marge? | ||
| And she's like, Chunky, you know why they put me in this cage, don't you? | ||
| Take some Jaguar cigarette. | ||
| I go, well, why? | ||
| No, I don't know why. | ||
| Well, Chunky, it's because they consider me to be dangerous. | ||
| I'm like, how come? | ||
| I'm like Gomer Pyle, seriously. | ||
| I'm total Gomer Pyle. | ||
| And you were like 16 at the time? | ||
| 15. About eight minutes into it, I realized, oh shit. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Something's going on here. | ||
| That's how long it always took me to, like, zero in on what's happening because I'm not even there. | ||
| You know, I'm always ignoring when other people talk. | ||
| I don't listen. | ||
| You know, I'm thinking of funny things. | ||
| They bore me, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I'm always in my own head. | ||
| I never get out, really, except for when I work. | ||
| But, uh, so, uh, then it got, then it took a turn, you know. | ||
| She's like, so it got to, uh, Why do they consider you dangerous? | ||
| You know, I had to ask it because she kept on getting me there to that point. | ||
| Well, she wanted me to ask it. | ||
| I was trying to delay it, you know, because I knew they'd be back in 40 minutes and it was like going on 20 now. | ||
| She goes, I'm in here because... | ||
| That's my voice I got to do with Marjorie. | ||
| I'm in here because I broke a couple of tenants' backs. | ||
| Didn't they tell you that? | ||
| Like, no! | ||
| Uh-uh! | ||
| Like, how'd you do that? | ||
| And in my head I'm thinking, don't change. | ||
| Don't miss a beat. | ||
| Don't miss a breath. | ||
| Don't look nowhere. | ||
| Just keep on acting all, you know, Utah. | ||
| Utah girl. | ||
| Because you knew she was dangerous. | ||
| Well, that's when it hit my head that it was, uh-oh. | ||
| She's talking about, you know, I'm feeling like prey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| And I go, how'd you do that? | ||
| Because I figure, oh, it's an accident. | ||
| You know, it's good old Marge. | ||
| She tells good jokes. | ||
| She goes, well, it's easy. | ||
| You just, oh, I'm doing me again. | ||
| I got to do her. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| You just put one hand here and one hand here, and then you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, oh. | |
| Where'd you learn that? | ||
| I'm changing the subject. | ||
| How was your mom? | ||
| What was the school like you went to? | ||
| What's your favorite book? | ||
| What's your favorite color? | ||
| What kind of ice cream you like? | ||
| You ever seen that there's worms in the oatmeal? | ||
| You ever notice that? | ||
| She started, that one got her. | ||
| She's like, yeah, I did. | ||
| I did notice there was crawling motherfuckers. | ||
| I go, yeah, and they expect us to eat that? | ||
| You know, I like suddenly I'm transported to a confederacy of dances when he's on the thing against Levi Pants. | ||
| Remember that rant in that book? | ||
| So I'm just tap dancing really. | ||
| And then I hear it click. | ||
| I fumbled the keys out of the door, put them back in the attendance room, went in my room. | ||
| When you said you hear a click? | ||
| Yeah, I knew the first door got open. | ||
| There was two doors. | ||
| I heard the first door open and they're coming back from dinner. | ||
| So you got away from her? | ||
| I'm supposed to be sick, you know, in my room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's why I didn't go to dinner. | ||
| Yeah, somebody was laying there. | ||
| And that was like daily. | ||
| I mean, there were so many weird people in there. | ||
| We had this one girl, Rosie, her name was, where she'd always grab... | ||
| She always ended up with a pair of real sharp scissors and lunged for someone's throat. | ||
| We're like, where'd you get them? | ||
| Who's bringing her them scissors? | ||
| But anyway, I went on anti-psychotic medicine, and that was good that I was on there for the shit I saw, including my friends hanging and stuff like that. | ||
| You saw your friends hanging in the mental institution? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw worse than that. | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
| I saw, you know, victims of abuse. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| By the guards? | ||
| No, of kids coming from their families. | ||
| Oh, victims of abuse that came in that were mentally scarred by that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now when they put you on anti-psychotics, was it because you were exhibiting psychotic behavior? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What kind of psychotic behavior? | ||
| Well, they thought it was psychotic. | ||
| I was just scared that they... | ||
| I think I was throwing them off because I wanted them to think I was psychotic. | ||
| I didn't want them to think I was schizophrenic. | ||
| I knew enough not to let them near me. | ||
| Because once you got the diagnosis of schizophrenic, they would do shocks and they'd experiment on you, basically. | ||
| You were in a guinea pig and I didn't want that. | ||
| So maybe I... You know, and then, you know, so yeah, I was doing weird things, like walking down the middle of streets after I got hit by the car. | ||
| I walked down the middle of streets. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I thought, oh, you've got to get over your fear of crossing the streets. | ||
| That's what was in my head. | ||
| And then I'd walk down a highway, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I was in a whole other realm. | ||
| It was like a real surrealistic and metaphysical realm. | ||
| And I grew comfortable there. | ||
| But, you know, I think most artists, writers and performers are in that world. | ||
| I mean, we got a toe in it at least. | ||
| I've gone in and out, you know, depending on, you know, now I think I'm on the right medications that help me. | ||
| There's a lot of comedians that have similar stories. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Some of the greats. | ||
| You know, Kinnison has a similar story to you. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He was hit by a car and changed his personality radically. | ||
| And it happened in a similar age. | ||
| It happened when he was young as well. | ||
| And he was one person. | ||
| Then he'd get hit by a car. | ||
| And then after the car, he was this wild man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wild, didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Totally impulsive. | ||
| It's not that I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| It's that I just thought different. | ||
| Thought different. | ||
| I was just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| My mom says when I was 18 months old, I used to go out in the street and direct cars. | ||
| We lived on a highway. | ||
| And, you know, that she'd come and find me there just 18 months old, holding up my hands. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And stopping traffic. | ||
| So I always had a weird thing going there. | ||
| But, you know, I don't know. | ||
| I think I watched too much of that police show, you know, where they'd stop traffic. | ||
| I used to love TV shows and think they were real, some of it. | ||
| How many people do you think know this about your mental health history? | ||
| You know, anybody who knows me. | ||
| I don't think very many people know it that were angry at you. | ||
| Oh yeah, they did. | ||
| I don't think they did. | ||
| Yeah, they did. | ||
| I don't think people looked past the surface. | ||
| I think they looked at you as a rich white lady who said something that they considered to be racist and they decided they were going to attack you. | ||
| And then the perception, the optics of this was the reason why ABC canceled the show. | ||
| It was ABC, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the reason why they canceled the show. | ||
| It's the reason why everybody pulled back away from you. | ||
| And what did that feel like when nobody defended you? | ||
| People who should know you the way I know you. | ||
| And I defended you from the very beginning because I said... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| My son told me that you did. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| This is not a racist person. | ||
| I go, this is a woman who's kind of crazy. | ||
| She's brilliant, hilarious, fun to be around. | ||
| I'm a comic, Joe. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I love you. | ||
| Well, you know, they try to outlaw comedy. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I was surprised that more comics didn't say nothing because, you know, I don't know. | ||
| They're scared. | ||
| People are scared. | ||
| They're scared to support someone that they consider to be racist. | ||
| I mean, I got a lot of shit from it, but I don't give a fuck. | ||
| They can think what they want and call me what they want. | ||
| It don't change me. | ||
| It doesn't change you. | ||
| Well, it just takes time before the dust settles. | ||
| And I knew that once you and I talked, if you and I sat down and talked like this, people would get a chance to see who you really are. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, you know, they may not like me. | ||
| They don't have to. | ||
| No, they don't have to. | ||
| You're not a bad person. | ||
| You've never been a bad person. | ||
| No, I'm not a bad person, but I've done bad things. | ||
| And like I was talking to, you know, I'm a name dropper. | ||
| I hate to drop his name out, but forgive me. | ||
| I should have asked him first. | ||
| But, you know, I was talking to Mike Tyson, you know. | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| He's been through some stuff. | ||
| And you're like, well, the thing is, you've got to become a pacifist at That's your only... | ||
| Yeah, don't battle with people. | ||
| No, don't battle. | ||
| No, you can't battle with people back and forth online. | ||
| You know, I mean, there's too many people, there's not enough time, and you'll go crazy. | ||
| You'll get wrapped up in conflict, and you'll just be involved in it every minute of every day. | ||
| Yeah, I call it feeding the beast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that really is Tower of Babel, Twitter. | ||
| Well, it's definitely a strange, strange environment where all these people are just, they don't even know you. | ||
| They have no contact with you other than you're this person they could reach and get to react to certain lines. | ||
| And the more explosive and the more derogatory and insulting the lines they say to you, the more impact it's going to have on you. | ||
| So that flavors the way they communicate with you. | ||
| Yeah, it was tough working with a lot of social justice warriors and remaking Roseanne. | ||
| It was tough on me mentally. | ||
| So you mean like the staff that you were working with? | ||
| Look, I was the only one saying I'm not a Republican nor am I a fucking Democrat. | ||
| I'm an independent and I'm just anti-corruption. | ||
| I'm just anti-corruption. | ||
| Don't make me into your idea of who I am. | ||
| What was their idea who you were? | ||
| Well, they thought that since I supported President Trump, that I was a racist and a scumbag and anti-everything, just because I voted for him. | ||
| Why did you support Trump? | ||
| I love what Norm MacDonald said. | ||
| If I can quote him, can I quote Norm? | ||
| Please do. | ||
| I love Norm. | ||
| I think this says it better than anything. | ||
| He said, the American people hated Hillary so bad that they voted for a guy they hated even worse, just to rub it in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
laughter That is Norm Macdonald. | |
| That's brilliant. | ||
| That is so true. | ||
| But, you know, I wasn't for Hillary and I was a woman, and that was like a big no-no. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's all it basically comes down to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it was the woman's turn. | ||
| But, you know, I just want a government that works for the American people. | ||
| I pay taxes and I expect something for my taxes. | ||
| And, you know, here's news to all of them out there, including POTUS. I think at some time the American people need to audit what happened to their tax monies, and I think we should all have a say in what this country does with our hard-earned dollars. | ||
| And don't just assume you speak for us, because obviously you don't, or we wouldn't have a trade deficit of $20 trillion. | ||
| S-T-F-U. And let the American people handle what they should handle in this country. | ||
| It's a republic. | ||
| And it runs on the consent of the governed. | ||
| And it's really, really time to talk about that. | ||
| Now, when you say social justice warriors that you had to work with, like specifically, what were the issues that you were dealing with? | ||
| Well, Trump was the big elephant in the room. | ||
| My support for Trump. | ||
| And just their patronizing shite, can I call it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we have to remember that the... | ||
| I mean, I'm going to paraphrase, but it was a lot... | ||
| Well, you know, the ignorant, unwashed people who voted for Trump. | ||
| It's not their fault. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was kind of what it was like. | |
| And... | ||
| Because I said, well, you know, it was working class people that elected Trump, so I really can't, I can't let you say that to me, because it's not true. | ||
| You know, they already had in their head what it means. | ||
| And of course they are wrong, like they're wrong about, you know, this being about, you know, that Kavanaugh being about abortion rights. | ||
| They're wrong about that too. | ||
| How are they wrong about that? | ||
| Because I don't think, you know, he said pretty much that, you know, you can't overturn something that's in law. | ||
| Roe versus Wade. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, they fear mongered to get everybody thinking that's what they were after. | ||
| And I don't think it is what they were. | ||
| I don't think that is why they wanted to. | ||
| Well, I think they're concerned with anything that Trump's trying to pass. | ||
| Anyone that Trump's trying to get to the Supreme Court, any bills that Trump's trying to pass. | ||
| Well, then they should put on their... | ||
| Adult pants and get involved and make sure that he represents, you know, the will of the people of this country. | ||
| You have to become involved in the process then. | ||
| But don't just sit there on your butt criticizing everybody and calling everybody names. | ||
| That's really not any kind of a justice warrior. | ||
| That's all phony. | ||
| You've got to get involved. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now, when you were first approached about doing a Roseanne relaunch, when they came to you, how did this all take place? | ||
| And did you get to pick the people that you work with? | ||
| I had already said about a year prior to that that I supported Trump over Hillary. | ||
| And it was like, you know, a big... | ||
| It was in all the papers in Hollywood. | ||
| How could she? | ||
| And, you know, this and that and the other. | ||
| But it didn't seem to bother the American people. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, they're my audience. | ||
| Well, you know, I always try to make content for the audience, not for the critics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And not for the industry. | ||
| Not for the industry, no. | ||
| The industry is ruthlessly left. | ||
| Like, to the point where it's not even a thinking thing. | ||
| It's just like they automatically go left because that's the way you're accepted in this town. | ||
| That's the way you stay working. | ||
| That's the way you stay invited to all the good parties. | ||
| Well, that's the way that certain Stalinist types in show business keep it. | ||
| You know, everything about the media is tightly controlled in Hollywood. | ||
| So who came to you with the relaunch? | ||
| How does it happen that Roseanne has canceled for so long? | ||
| John and Sarah, they did a sketch on Sarah's talk show, and everyone liked it, and Sarah called me. | ||
| She said, John said he's in if you're in. | ||
| So you say, let's do it. | ||
| Well, if John's in, of course. | ||
| Is Lori in? | ||
| Yeah, Lori's in. | ||
| Okay, yeah, let's do it. | ||
| So who turned on you after this was over? | ||
| Well, my coven of lawyers advises I not get into this at this time. | ||
| You know, I think it's self-explanatory. | ||
| Well, people could find out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know that they turned on me. | ||
| I think it was always that way since, you know, I came in and said, I said, somebody on the show has to be a Trump supporter and none of them would do it. | ||
| I'm like, it's a great role. | ||
| You could do it. | ||
| You're the kind of person who would. | ||
| And they were like, no. | ||
| So I said, okay, well then I'll do it because I did vote for him and everybody knows it. | ||
| Well, people forget Archie Bunker. | ||
| It's one of the greatest characters in the history of sitcoms. | ||
| Nobody wants to be the quote-unquote, you know, other. | ||
| The bad person. | ||
| The bad guy in Hollywood. | ||
| Or, you know, be the other in Hollywood. | ||
| But, you know, I was up for it. | ||
| I thought it would be great. | ||
| I thought it would be, you know, I'd get some lines in there from the other side once in a while. | ||
| You know, I let them say all they want to say. | ||
| I never told them, don't say that about him, don't this and that. | ||
| Like the day of the filming, you know, I'd been saying, you know, I let my writers do their writing, you know, but I lay out all the stories or approve them, you know. | ||
| And so it was that first show and I'm waiting for a line about Hillary. | ||
| I go, I let you have seven Trump jokes in this show and you can't even one fucking Hillary joke? | ||
| They didn't want a Hillary joke? | ||
| No. | ||
| What was the Hillary joke? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| I said, you better get me a Hillary joke, bitch. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I go, it ain't about you. | ||
| Your name ain't on this shit. | ||
| What did they say about it? | ||
| Like, why did they not want a Hillary joke? | ||
| Did they have an explanation for it? | ||
| No, but everybody knew. | ||
| They wanted Hillary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They felt it would go against their morals to say that there's another way to vote or to acknowledge that half the country voted that way. | ||
| Or that she's extremely flawed. | ||
| Well, at that point, they didn't care. | ||
| That's what's weird about it. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| The whole thing's weird. | ||
| There's a complete denial of reality. | ||
| It's like this has nothing to do with women. | ||
| It has nothing to do with liberals. | ||
| You're talking about an extremely flawed person. | ||
| Well, I'm not going to talk about her as a person. | ||
| I'll just talk about her concepts and her voting record. | ||
| Okay, let's not even use the word person. | ||
| Politician. | ||
| Extremely flawed politician. | ||
| With a background of deep corruption. | ||
| And lies. | ||
| Demonstratable lies. | ||
| Like, we're not talking about some amazing gem. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well... | ||
| Let's just put it like this. | ||
| A lot of us people who liked Bernie voted for Trump. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Let's put it like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, especially when they found out, when Donna Brazile's book came out, they found out what they had done to Bernie during the primaries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's dark shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's dark that everybody was like, whatever, whatever. | ||
| They said nobody will vote for a Jew. | ||
| They'd use that one. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| In the South. | ||
| To this day. | ||
| To this day, they're still doing stupid shit like that. | ||
| But, you know, I didn't want her, even though she's a woman. | ||
| But, you know, I did want her in 2008. I wanted her, not Obama. | ||
| Because I liked her health care plan better at that time. | ||
| When I was still, you know, before I walked away. | ||
| So, you know, they're doing a whole march. | ||
| I might show up. | ||
| A march for what? | ||
| Walk away. | ||
| Walk away from what? | ||
| The Democrat Party. | ||
| Who is they? | ||
| Who's doing this? | ||
| A whole bunch of kids. | ||
| Youths. | ||
| And what's the idea? | ||
| October 27th across from the White House. | ||
| They're going to walk from the DNC to that park there and make statements. | ||
| But walking away to where? | ||
| To an independent party? | ||
| No. | ||
| To a libertarian? | ||
| They're going Republican. | ||
| Republican. | ||
| That's what's bizarre, the polar opposites, the right and the left, the blue and the red. | ||
| And all those guys golf together. | ||
| Let's cut through the bullshit. | ||
| They're all making deals and scratching each other's back, whether from one party or the other. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Well, Trump paid Clinton to be at his wedding. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's smart. | ||
| He got a photo op and a half out of that one. | ||
| I mean, he paid those people forever. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why, when he was campaigning, he had so much animosity towards them and towards the system that he was a part of for so long. | ||
| He was a Democrat most of his life. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, he's getting it, too. | ||
| But that just proves it right there. | ||
| You know, they give money to both parties. | ||
| You know, in Hollywood, they don't just give it to the Democrat Party. | ||
| They give the Republican Party too, but they stay silent about that. | ||
| It's kind of smart to cover your bets, you know, which government contract you're going to be able to dip into. | ||
| And isn't that like what Hollywood's really all about? | ||
| Well, there's so many levels to it, right? | ||
| I mean, there's the blatant tribalism of right versus left, where people pick a side, and they adopt a predetermined pattern of behavior, and they adopt a conglomeration of ideas and opinions. | ||
| They download the program. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they're just bots. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They parrot everything. | ||
| And then below the surface, you've got geopolitical aspirations, and you have the global war machine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and that's what you have, the money, the real money. | ||
| But you know what, Joe? | ||
| I always say, and people call me a whatever they call me, but I have optimism, and I've said for a long time, when the right people are at the controls of all the machinery and technology, that will be so great for humanity. | ||
| We have it right within our grasp to make sure that this is a good place for all kids. | ||
| We could do that tomorrow. | ||
| So I think we should start thinking about that and all this artificial intelligence that gets us fighting with each other. | ||
| Let's just step out of it like the matrix, you know? | ||
| Let's go to a new place where we're about solutions and working together and bringing this country together and getting some real good jobs, real good health care, things that we pay taxes for, better streets, good education, the things we pay taxes for. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And mental health. | ||
| Most of all, I think that's what we need, particularly for our veterans. | ||
| They come back and they're untreated and they won't even give them marijuana, which really helps. | ||
| They won't even legalize that for, you know, people who have PTS. And marijuana does help with PTS. And, you know... | ||
| You know, talk about supporting our troops. | ||
| 22 of them a day are killing themselves. | ||
| They're homeless. | ||
| I mean, that's who we are. | ||
| I don't want that to be who we are. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| People think nobody can see us and what we do. | ||
| But they do. | ||
| And they want it right. | ||
| People want things to be right and used for the good of all people. | ||
| And stop tearing people apart from each other. | ||
| We're neighbors. | ||
| You know, that was why I wanted to go back to The Roseanne Show and say all those things. | ||
| And I'm so happy that I did. | ||
| I did it in nine episodes. | ||
| I wanted a tenth season. | ||
| And I did all nine episodes were exactly the episodes I wanted to do. | ||
| And it was number one every week. | ||
| And I just thank my fans for that, you know. | ||
| A turn of fortune, but I did what I wanted to do, and it was so gratifying and so wonderful. | ||
| And I don't want that to be forgotten. | ||
| I don't want the ninth season to disappear. | ||
| I mean, the tenth season to disappear. | ||
| What do you think about them doing it without you? | ||
| How fucking weird is that? | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I get it. | ||
| They're sending me a subtle message to OD on opioids. | ||
| Is that what you think? | ||
| Yeah, that's some of it. | ||
| Mind control stuff, yeah. | ||
| So you think that they want you to kill yourself? | ||
| Well, I don't know why they would do what they did. | ||
| Let's just put it that way. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I just think they're being completely inconsiderate and they don't care about you. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| And they so belittled my contribution to the show, too. | ||
| It just, you know, was shocking. | ||
| That was the most painful part of the whole thing. | ||
| Well, one of the things that I read was that you hadn't considered the more than 100 people that work on the show when you did what you did. | ||
| And I'm like, that's a ridiculous statement. | ||
| I didn't cancel the show. | ||
| Well, not only did you not cancel the show, you were on Ambien drunk tweeting. | ||
| The idea that you did this, this was some sort of a deliberate ploy to get the show canceled. | ||
| Or the idea that there was any justification that your show should be canceled at all. | ||
| Like, you can't just say something that you didn't want to come out that way and apologize for it. | ||
| They don't know who you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I did apologize. | |
| I apologized. | ||
| You did apologize, but they don't know who you are. | ||
| I apologized for three months. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, they don't know who you are. | ||
| No, they tried to wipe me off the map of the culture. | ||
| Because people are scared to be connected with anybody who's a target. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they acted like cowards. | ||
| I wouldn't have. | ||
| I mean, if it were my friend, definitely I would have, of years, of two decades or more, I would have said something, but that's just me. | ||
| And I definitely, one thing I would never have done is stabbed somebody in the rush to condemn somebody who, you know, was my biggest advocate. | ||
| Well, there was a lot of that. | ||
| And sometimes an only advocate. | ||
| There was a lot of that. | ||
| I saw a lot of that. | ||
| Yeah, but I just thought, oh, that's just about them. | ||
| It's just about them. | ||
| It's not about me. | ||
| I just let go of all of it because, you know, I am a person of belief and I just always try to do what's right in front of me. | ||
| I feel like what, you know, my higher intelligence plays in front of me, I'll do it because it knows better than me. | ||
| Which is why I don't think like other people. | ||
| That I was not going to fight, not at 66. I'm too old. | ||
| I'm pretty frail. | ||
| And I think, you know, I worked really hard to get a second season. | ||
| And it's kind of ironic. | ||
| I crossed time zones to do promotion for free for months. | ||
| And, you know, during that time, when you're old and you can't sleep and you're crossing time zones, going from Hawaii to New York and back and then back again and back again, you know... | ||
| You know, I kind of became dependent on Ambien and I, you know, almost every night took it. | ||
| And, you know, obviously something was wrong because I didn't think, I thought that Tweet was about a science fiction movie, | ||
| which happens to be my favorite movie, and which I think is very apt in the world today, particularly in Iran, where just a small group of corrupt leaders are oppressing the citizens. | ||
| And I think there's a lot of references in that movie that Go along with what's happening in Iran, of the human beings rising up to overthrow their overlords. | ||
| And that's how I was looking at the whole thing. | ||
| So when I woke up to tweet there, that was what was in my head. | ||
| It was certainly not somebody's looks. | ||
| And it was also about the Arab Spring in Egypt, which, you know, Obama, he didn't handle it right. | ||
| And so all those things are interrelated with Iran and the Iran deal, the Iran nuclear deal. | ||
| You know, I'm... | ||
| I'm extremely well-read on that subject. | ||
| I certainly wouldn't be at the height of my power and my fame being on there going, somebody looks like a monkey. | ||
| Excuse me, I'm not an idiot, okay? | ||
| I wouldn't be on there, you look like a monkey. | ||
| I'm a well-read and intelligent woman, and my word and things that I write to people over in that part of the world, they're... | ||
| I've brought a lot of people together in that part of the world with my tweets. | ||
| And most of my tweets are, you know, spiritual in nature anyway. | ||
| So it wasn't what people thought it was. | ||
| And still, I apologize for inadvertently hurting anyone's feelings. | ||
| Still, I apologize for inadvertently. | ||
| And not, you know, I apologize that they were wrong and they misheard it. | ||
| I misunderstood it, but that wasn't good enough either. | ||
| And, you know, just get to a point where I go, I'm letting go of it. | ||
| My fans who know me and my family and people who like me and know me for my life, they know who I am and that's all that matters. | ||
| You know, they can call me whatever they want. | ||
| I don't accept their definition of that word. | ||
| And I think that they should read more. | ||
| Well, one of the things that's most shocking about this outrage culture that we live in right now, this age of outrage, is that there's no path to redemption. | ||
| There's no acceptance of apologies. | ||
| There is, though. | ||
| But there's not from the general public. | ||
| Oh yeah, the public, everywhere I went, people run up to me. | ||
| I've never felt so much love in my entire career, in real life. | ||
| But not on Twitter. | ||
| Oh no, not on social media. | ||
| Right, not on social media. | ||
| Social media, it magnifies the very worst aspects of humanity because you're not interacting with people in the real flesh. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're not experiencing social cues. | ||
| You're not looking them in the eye. | ||
| You're not seeing them as a person. | ||
| You're just seeing them as a target online. | ||
| Well, I think that Twitter is a purposeful plan, like Facebook. | ||
| I got off Facebook years ago because I realized what they were doing. | ||
| What do you think Twitter's doing? | ||
| It's doing the same thing that Facebook did. | ||
| How so? | ||
| It's manufacturing consent. | ||
| And, you know, he's using bots to do it. | ||
| What do you mean by manufacturing consent? | ||
| It's a place where, like Noam Chomsky says, you know, the press manufactures consent. | ||
| The consent of the governed. | ||
| So that's what they're doing is manufacturing the consent of the governed. | ||
| But they also manufacture dissent. | ||
| They control the opposition too on Twitter. | ||
| And I like getting in between those two and causing a ruckus. | ||
| Because I knew it was all artificial intelligence anyway. | ||
| It's all just to track us. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| Just like they do in China. | ||
| So what are you saying? | ||
| You think there's some sort of a grand plan to get people to argue with each other? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's a social experiment to turn one group against another, which, you know, it's smart because it's divide and conquer. | ||
| And as long as we're like, you know, it's all these people getting robbed, all these taxpayers getting robbed, sitting there pointing to other taxpayers that are getting robbed and blaming them. | ||
| But everybody needs to look upward of our government ask for an audit of our taxes and actually take responsibility for the things our country does. | ||
| We're getting judged for it anyway. | ||
| I think there's certainly people that are capitalizing. | ||
| I think there's certainly people that are capitalizing on all this chaos and all the conflict. | ||
| But I don't think it's manufactured. | ||
| I don't think it's engineered. | ||
| I just think it's happening because this is a new thing. | ||
| You think it just has a mind of its own? | ||
| I think people have a mind of their own and people are inherently tribal. | ||
| There's almost no way to stop them from being tribal. | ||
| Well, I like that people are tribal. | ||
| But the problem with tribalism is that you sometimes have enemies that are unnecessary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you develop this idea that you're part of a group. | |
| Or you could have allies on common ground. | ||
| Well, that would be nice if we all looked at ourselves as a tribal world. | ||
| That's how I do look at the world and why I didn't want Hillary Clinton, because her party is very much for corporate law. | ||
| And the Republican Party is very much for tribal law. | ||
| And I am a tribal person, and I think tribal people should, you know, have their land. | ||
| Tribal in what way? | ||
| How are you tribal? | ||
| Me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm Jewish. | ||
| When I go over there to the Middle East, I visit the graves of my teachers. | ||
| That's how I'm tribal. | ||
| I go to their graves, and that's what we do. | ||
| That's what all indigenous people do. | ||
| They want to control their sacred burial grounds, and that is anti-corporate law, and that's why I'm anti-corporate law. | ||
| I like to study papal bulls and corporate law and maritime law and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| You know, I like to read. | ||
| So I have a lot of information. | ||
| And, you know, it makes me angry or sad is more that the work of an artist over 30 years, they think that we just pull that out of their ass and that they can copy it, you know. | ||
| Without the artist, they can copy it. | ||
| You mean your show? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it is, you know, all the stuff I suffered in my life I put into that show. | ||
| That show is about my family, my children. | ||
| And it's just like, wow, it's so huge. | ||
| It's so huge. | ||
| It's beyond entitled. | ||
| What is their plan? | ||
| And how were they able to do that? | ||
| Did you let them? | ||
| Yeah, I signed off. | ||
| They asked me to. | ||
| Why did you sign off? | ||
| Because I felt like I would be a huge hypocrite to have talked 30 years or more in my life about labor rights and the rights of working people if I took away those 200 people's jobs. | ||
| So that's why I did it. | ||
| I wanted them to work. | ||
| I know how they had planned on another season and they probably had already spent the money. | ||
| Was there any consideration of redemption? | ||
| Was there any path where they could allow you to apologize or do something that would endear yourself to the people where they would accept your apology? | ||
| I said, let me go on all your ABC shows and explain my tweet and how it was a political and not a racial tweet. | ||
| And, you know, that was denied me. | ||
| It's like you can't say anything until you sign off. | ||
| You can't say anything until you sign off. | ||
| So they wanted you to sign off the rights and then they would have you do whatever you wanted to do, go on their interview shows. | ||
| No, they didn't guarantee that. | ||
| They didn't guarantee that. | ||
| So they just wanted you to sign off and they offered you nothing in return. | ||
| They offered me some money. | ||
| But the idea was just to be able to redo the show. | ||
| Yeah, to take all those years of my ideas and how I thought of 20 years of those situations to come back. | ||
| It took me 20 years to figure out how would these characters, where would they be now? | ||
| And I did that by living among regular and normal people for 20 years. | ||
| I never lived behind, you know, racially segregated gates like other stars. | ||
| I lived in working people's neighborhoods and I farm around farmers and I wasn't going to be that big of a hypocrite. | ||
| You have a macadamia nut farm. | ||
| I sure do. | ||
| It's gorgeous. | ||
| You should come and see it sometime. | ||
| I love to come see it. | ||
| I love the big island. | ||
| Isn't it gorgeous? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| People are dumb there though today. | ||
| You know what I read? | ||
| Some people. | ||
| Some lady took a boat full of people too close to the volcano to look at it. | ||
| And the lava overtook their boat and thank God none of them were killed. | ||
| But they got like about two feet up on the lava. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| So don't do that, Hawaiians. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Somebody got hit with a flying chunk of rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They got good weed there. | |
| That's probably why. | ||
| It's pretty good weed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They got hit by a flying chunk of rock from the volcano on one of the boats, too. | ||
| They were having lava tourism and someone got clipped by a rock. | ||
| It's so not smart. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a dangerous, dangerous situation. | |
| Don't go on those tours. | ||
| Is your area safe? | ||
| My area flooded a bit. | ||
| I had to replace my roads for about the 10th time in 10 years. | ||
| I always got to replace my roads. | ||
| I really got into making roads. | ||
| That's one thing that I really did enjoy. | ||
| So I'll be headed back there and be making more roads. | ||
| So I'm excited about it. | ||
| I can cut a road like nobody's business. | ||
| I want to write a book. | ||
| My granny is a scout. | ||
| Because I do scout the jungle and make a road in there. | ||
| I love the attitude of people that live on the Big Island. | ||
| It's a very relaxed, laid-back, friendly attitude. | ||
| They just have all the time in the world. | ||
| It's a different sort of vibe when you go there. | ||
| Yeah, everybody helps their neighbors there. | ||
| They don't, like, turn them in. | ||
| Everybody helps out their neighbors, and their neighbors are like every kind of people you can think of. | ||
| It's a very diverse cultural Mecca. | ||
| How did you end up living out there? | ||
| Well, I went there because my son Buck, I made him go to the school out there. | ||
| So then I bought a place right by the school because this kid, you know, he's 23 now so he probably won't get mad, but he had some severe ADHD there. | ||
| So I had to do what I did to get him Now he just graduated from college. | ||
| He's doing real good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's my first college grad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| All right. | ||
| ADHD, maybe he's a comic. | ||
| Yeah, he's so funny. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's so hilarious. | ||
| Maybe he's a comic just waiting. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Sure, it's in his DNA. All my grandkids are, too. | ||
| They're all waiting. | ||
| The video that you showed me. | ||
| They're all hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, they seem very funny. | ||
| What are they going to do to your character on the show? | ||
| They're going to kill you off? | ||
| Yeah, I think they did. | ||
| They didn't tell you? | ||
| No, they didn't tell me. | ||
| Some of my spies told me. | ||
| How weird is it they're taking you out of Roseanne, they're calling it the Connors, it's all going on without you being there. | ||
| What does that feel like? | ||
| It's a mind warp and a mind fuck. | ||
| You know, so I'm just trying to deal with it. | ||
| All from a tweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A misunderstood tweet. | ||
| A misunderstood tweet while you're on Ambien, while you're drunk. | ||
| I wasn't drunk. | ||
| I only had like one or two beers. | ||
| Well, when you have one or two beers with Ambien. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess you're drunk. | ||
| You're fucked up. | ||
| I was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wasn't in... | ||
| And smoking pot too, right? | ||
| No, I don't think I'd smoke pot then. | ||
| No, I didn't smoke pot then. | ||
| I was at my mom's house. | ||
| I was puffing on the cigs. | ||
| I went down in the basement. | ||
| I was hiding down there in the basement because they were surrounding my mom's house. | ||
| Paparazzis and such. | ||
| And so I was down in the basement and that's where I always used to go when I was like 13. And I found this stuff and chalk on the walls of the basement there that I remembered right when I was 13. Wow. | ||
| And then I found an old butt from when I snuck cigs when I was 13. Did you try to smoke it? | ||
| Oh, hell yeah, it smoked good. | ||
| No, I'm kidding. | ||
| But I was hiding down there smoking. | ||
| They were knocking on my mom's door and I was like, oh my God. | ||
| So my boyfriend got the door. | ||
| He's like a big man, you know. | ||
| He's like, may I help you? | ||
| You know, that's my man character. | ||
| And... | ||
| I thought they were going to, you know, say something. | ||
| And they're like, we just please tell Roseanne we love her. | ||
| And, you know, we don't like this and blah, blah. | ||
| And that was happening all the time. | ||
| And that's when I was like, geez, I've never, ever felt this kind of affection from people in all my career. | ||
| So it's kind of a Cool. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| There's the social media outrage and then there's the people in real life that feel terrible for you because they feel like you got a raw deal. | ||
| Yeah, they think that there are so many double standards of people who said things on the air. | ||
| Remember, I just said it to a small population, less than 600,000 people on Twitter. | ||
| But these people say things on the air, and they are not. | ||
| Well, I know Joy had to call Pence and apologize, so... | ||
| Yeah, what did Joey Behar say about Pence that was so bad? | ||
| Something about his Christian faith. | ||
| Yeah, that they're psychotic or something because they... | ||
| So she called him and apologized? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I heard. | ||
| You know, an apology with your network behind you really works. | ||
| Like with, what's her name, that called Ivanka the names? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| Oh, Samantha Bee? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And her network was behind her. | ||
| And that was far more offensive. | ||
| And it was on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when your network is not behind you, you don't really... | ||
| Well, it wasn't a racial thing. | ||
| They didn't want me to tweet. | ||
| The whole truth is, I told them I wasn't going to tweet, and I promised them over and over. | ||
| And although they never sent it in writing, which was required, but anyway, they called my publicist and unloaded on him all the time. | ||
| And, you know, I should have stayed off Twitter. | ||
| I did it to myself. | ||
| And, you know, I made a mistake. | ||
| And the ball kept rolling. | ||
| But it's just crazy that this, what I think is an insignificant mistake, especially in light of your apology, could lead to no redemption possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That no redemption possible, that this giant fucking hit show. | ||
| And look, I don't know what's going to happen with the Conners, but I think it's going to fail. | ||
| If you asked me, if I had some money to bet, if I was in Vegas, that shit ain't going to work. | ||
| How are you going to do Roseanne without Roseanne? | ||
| If you wanted to have a whole new sitcom with all those people with a totally unrelated storyline, that's one thing. | ||
| But you don't think America's gonna know that they killed you off? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| And now, with time and consideration, after time has passed and people can review everything, they're gonna go, is it really this bad? | ||
| And they're going to think about their own lives. | ||
| Like, what about me? | ||
| What if I say something fucked up? | ||
| They should do that. | ||
| What if I take Ambien and accidentally say something crazy and don't even remember saying it, and then it's misconstrued or it comes out wrong? | ||
| Is that going to ruin my whole life? | ||
| Like, how can you have someone ruin their whole life for something that is misconstrued? | ||
| That they did at 17 also. | ||
| You know, really? | ||
| I mean, that's why I think, first of all, us women, we need to do a better job of raising our sons. | ||
| But at 17, everyone's out of their friggin' mind. | ||
| I have five kids. | ||
| There's not a one of them who didn't do something horrendous at age 17. Well, we were just talking about that with Andrew Santino who was in here earlier. | ||
| Yeah, when young men, especially young men that don't get a birds and the bees speech and who knows what the fuck is going on in their home, you know, people do stupid shit. | ||
| My son that went to college, Buck, he says he learned the day he started college they gave out this pamphlet on sexual assault to all the boys. | ||
| I guess they gave it to the girls too. | ||
| But he said he read it and he realized it was any kind of sexuality at all. | ||
| Don't even do it. | ||
| And I told both my sons, if you're going to have sex with somebody, you make them sign a consent form and take it to their lawyer and get it properly notarized and then make a date for after that happens. | ||
| Even that's not good enough. | ||
| It's a dangerous time for our sons and our daughters. | ||
| Well, it's always a dangerous time for women, right? | ||
| If you're with the wrong man. | ||
| Well, or the wrong woman. | ||
| Are you shitting me? | ||
| Women are just as horrible as men. | ||
| Well, women are horrible with women, too. | ||
| Women are more horrible to women. | ||
| One of the statistics on sexual assault and rape amongst lesbian couples, it's pretty bad. | ||
| But, I mean, what about rape in the prisons? | ||
| I mean, nobody talks about that. | ||
| That's the real rape culture where men are learning, you know... | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Well, we can get into depth about how bad prisons are in general and how people aren't redeemed. | ||
| I watch that Orange is the New Black, so I know. | ||
| I've never seen it. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| But the problem with, you know, there's no rehabilitation. | ||
| It's very, very little at least. | ||
| There's no forgiveness. | ||
| In prisons, what you're doing is you take people and you make them better criminals or make them more hardened criminals. | ||
| You surround them with other criminals. | ||
| You give them a horrible living environment. | ||
| You abuse them further because most prisoners are in there because they're abused children. | ||
| Well, and what percentage of prisoners are in there for nonviolent drug offenses? | ||
| That's what really drives me crazy. | ||
| Fucking insane. | ||
| That's when I ran for prison. | ||
| I ran on legalization of marijuana for that exact reason. | ||
| Well, slowly but surely, that's becoming a mainstream idea. | ||
| I'm glad. | ||
| I'm glad, too. | ||
| I mean, as a rabid pot user, I love it. | ||
| I think marijuana makes you a more sensitive, aware person. | ||
| It definitely makes you paranoid, but I think that paranoia allows you to understand All the danger in the world that you're probably ignoring. | ||
| Yeah, like I was with Marge, you know. | ||
| Once I started smoking pot, then I got real paranoid of people, and that was a good thing. | ||
| You should be paranoid of people. | ||
| You should be aware, for sure. | ||
| Particularly if you watch cable TV, for Christ's sake. | ||
| That ID channel. | ||
| What are you doing now? | ||
| Like, what are you gonna do now? | ||
| You were saying that you have some other things cooking. | ||
| You know, I got 20,000 ideas a day. | ||
| Why don't you do something like this? | ||
| I gotta focus into something. | ||
| Why don't you do this? | ||
| Like something like this? | ||
| So easy. | ||
| I thought about it, but you said you'd help me. | ||
| I will help you. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| I don't know how to write in a fucking password and turn this shit on. | ||
| Listen, you don't need that. | ||
| We can get you connected to someone who can do that for you. | ||
| That shit's easy. | ||
| I'd like to talk to other people who've fallen from grace and see how they get back up. | ||
| But the real truth of it is that there is redemption. | ||
| There is. | ||
| And there's moving on and there's stopping the fight. | ||
| For me, I realized they're not my family. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My real family is, you know, a joy to me. | ||
| And I got a great real family. | ||
| I raised two good sons. | ||
| And, you know, of course, I want them protected from crazy women. | ||
| For crying out loud. | ||
| I over modulate their dating lives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| Do you filter them? | ||
| Yeah, you have to. | ||
| How old are your sons? | ||
| One's 40. If my mom came to me when I was 40, tried to filter my dating life, I'd be like, Mom, I love you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Well, that's because your mom ain't me. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Because I go, no, this is, you know, we can't have no bitches up in here. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| I can't take no second class bitch telling me I'm beneath her. | ||
| That's why I helped break up my son's marriage because of the way she treated me. | ||
| Oh, you had someone who's disrespecting you? | ||
| Well, I would never allow that. | ||
| No, you're never going to fucking allow that. | ||
| You should never allow that. | ||
| And all my daughters, thank God, all their sons, they listen to me. | ||
| They do what I tell them. | ||
| So it's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So... | ||
| I have good son-in-laws. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| The one, though, he's a problem. | ||
| He's from Russia. | ||
| He's Russian, and on his wedding night, here's what he says to me. | ||
| He goes, um... | ||
| Does he have a Russian accent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you do it? | ||
| Oh, I can't do that. | ||
| I try. | ||
| I try. | ||
| Well, here's what he said to me. | ||
| No, in this family, it's about it. | ||
| In this family, we do what the papa says. | ||
| We don't do what the grandma says. | ||
| I go, bitch, are you new? | ||
| I go, okay, well, if you want to live a cursed life, go ahead. | ||
| Live a fucking cursed life. | ||
| Put that voodoo on them. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I put that judo on them. | ||
| Yeah, he's come around, though. | ||
| I knew he would. | ||
| No, they have a son, and he has ADHD, too, but he's brilliant, as all of my grandkids. | ||
| And anyway, so they're those libtards. | ||
| Oh, I shouldn't have said that. | ||
| Libtards? | ||
| No, you can't say that. | ||
| Can't say that anymore? | ||
| No, you're not to say that. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| Because I'm old, I mix them up. | ||
| Who says you're not to say that? | ||
| Everybody says you don't say the T word. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| As long as you don't have a rebound before it, I think you're allowed to say it. | ||
| No, I don't say it in public. | ||
| But no, I don't say it. | ||
| But anyway, so, you know, the kid, he's bouncing off the walls too, like all my kids were. | ||
| So I know how to deal with it, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I said, just leave him over here with me. | ||
| I'll take care of it. | ||
| So I did. | ||
| What'd you do with him? | ||
| Just get him active. | ||
| Yeah, you get them active. | ||
| Get them doing stuff. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I go, I bet you $100 you can't run up and down that hill ten times in a row. | ||
| Ah, perfect. | ||
| Uh-huh, see? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Got to keep boys tired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guarantee I have ADHD. I have all those things. | ||
| Yeah, you probably do. | ||
| You just do stuff. | ||
| Just burn it out. | ||
| Do stuff, yeah. | ||
| Burn it out and then you can be calm. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I think those kids just have a lot of fuel. | ||
| I do too. | ||
| They have a lot of horsepower and a lot of fuel and it's all misdirected. | ||
| Yeah, because they get in with a girl and she starts telling them what to do. | ||
| See, I'm telling you. | ||
| Once they get under the control of a female, see, they forget themselves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Girls do it too. | ||
| Sure, they get in control of the wrong guy. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to not get in control of nobody. | ||
| Of anybody, right. | ||
| That's the key. | ||
| Autonomy and what do they call it? | ||
| Sovereignty. | ||
| You've got to keep that. | ||
| Find somebody who doesn't control you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just accepts you. | ||
| Let's you be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't make you shower. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| They have to make them shower. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Well, you should at least suggest it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In a nice way. | ||
| Yeah, you should let them know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is going on with your smell, son? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I come from a weird line of women that like that man's smell. | ||
| It was gross. | ||
| My mom, she used to always go over and sniff under my dad's armpits. | ||
| It was so gross. | ||
| No wonder I'm like I am. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So, when you were in this... | ||
| She'd go, oh, Tarzan. | ||
| Oh, she likes monkey smell. | ||
| Don't say that word. | ||
| Monkey? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| White guy, it's alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| You call white people monkeys. | ||
| My dad was real dark. | ||
| How dark? | ||
| He was brown. | ||
| Brown? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, um... | |
| Maybe it'd be problematic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was real fair. | ||
| Fair-skinned. | ||
| My mom, so... | ||
| I've learned a thing or two, Joe. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| But to me, all people look like some kind... | ||
| I mean, I didn't say anything about Valerie Jarrett, but on the subject, I think people resemble animals a lot. | ||
| Well, we are animals. | ||
| Well, yeah, we are animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I think I look like a beaver. | ||
| When I look at my pictures, do you think I look like a beaver? | ||
| Or a cat. | ||
| More like a cat. | ||
| Yeah, I can see myself as a cat. | ||
| More of a cat, I think, than a beaver. | ||
| My kids think I'm real cat-like. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My boyfriend says sloth. | ||
| Because I just lay there in bed watching the ID channel and murders and such. | ||
| Jesus Christ, why do you watch those fucking things? | ||
| Oh my God, because I love how these characters put together. | ||
| You know, I'm writing characters. | ||
| I like the forensics thing when they put shit together. | ||
| Our perp is a... | ||
| Our purpose of 40 year old white man lives with his mother and he's probably was in the Navy. | ||
| You know all that. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| I love all that. | ||
| I would have done that if I wasn't a comic genius. | ||
| I think the real problem with that though is that the more you study that shit, the more you live in that world, the less happiness you're gonna find. | ||
| I've talked to guys that... | ||
| What world? | ||
| The world of serial killers. | ||
| You mean studying it? | ||
| You're reading about it? | ||
| Yeah, the actual people that investigate those people. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They have a real hard time with life. | ||
| They have a real hard time because they know too much. | ||
| They know too much about the darkest nature. | ||
| Did you watch that show Mindhunter? | ||
| I didn't watch that one, no. | ||
| Oh, that's about John Douglas, yeah. | ||
| I've seen so many of those shows. | ||
| I've read books on serial killers. | ||
| I've known cops that investigated stuff like this. | ||
| Well, after I had that thing with Marge, I got really into it like, oh my god. | ||
| But you realize there's some people out there that have a dark mind. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| They're capable of some fucked up shit. | ||
| Yeah, they are. | ||
| And if you're around that all the time, I just think your appreciation for... | ||
| It's one thing to know that it exists and it's a reality, but it's another thing to let that enter into your view of the world and have it in there as a standard kind of behavior. | ||
| I guess it's wrong to do that, but nothing else interests me. | ||
| Why is it interesting to you so much? | ||
| Just because it's such a bizarre aberration? | ||
| I like how they get away with it and they're like, oh, he was the nicest guy. | ||
| How they're front, you know? | ||
| Well, the Golden State Killer, right? | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| That's the guy, that was what he was called? | ||
| The Golden State Killer that they just got? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That fucking guy got away with it forever. | ||
| Patton Oswalt's wife, who died of a drug overdose, was actually investigating that. | ||
| She died of a drug? | ||
| She died from fentanyl. | ||
| Oh, everyone's dying from that. | ||
| Everyone's dying from that shit. | ||
| Everybody's dying from that. | ||
| Where can I get some? | ||
| It must be good. | ||
| That's what the Connors are trying to get you. | ||
| I don't know what they're going to do. | ||
| I don't want to say nothing negative towards it. | ||
| How about they bring you back? | ||
| You could be like from beyond the grave. | ||
| You could give advice to people on the show. | ||
| That'd be a great way they can kill you off and bring you back at the same time. | ||
| As a ghost. | ||
| Yeah, a ghost. | ||
| You come to John Goodman in the middle of the night, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, you'd think they could come up with something better than just... | ||
| Killing you off? | ||
| Yeah, than just letting it go. | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| I mean, they do have these movies about robots and other worlds. | ||
| They don't want to be connected with a racist. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But you're not a racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That's what's so fucking stupid about this. | ||
| They had a number one show, a great sitcom. | ||
| It returns. | ||
| It's even better. | ||
| I mean, it's just as good, if not better, than it was when it first came out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I think it was a bit better, too. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Well, you know, that was all I was meant to do. | ||
| So, you know, I did it. | ||
| I did it number one after 20 years. | ||
| What about doing stand-up again? | ||
| I'm doing stand-up. | ||
| I'm touring next year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Yeah, bitches. | ||
| I'm really, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| And by then, my gag order will be over. | ||
| You have a gag order? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Of sorts. | ||
| Can you talk about the gag order, or is that a part of the gag order? | ||
| It's a part of the gag order that I can't talk about. | ||
| Well, we don't need to talk about it. | ||
| Let's just talk about the positive stuff. | ||
| I just want to say I wish everybody the best. | ||
| I wish well for everyone on earth. | ||
| That's all I'm going to say. | ||
| When are you going to do stand-up? | ||
| Next year, 2019. Where are you going to do it? | ||
| I can't remember what they said. | ||
| It's in the Midwest, all across the Midwest. | ||
| Are you writing already? | ||
| Are you performing at all? | ||
| I'm writing. | ||
| You're just writing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how are you going to do it? | ||
| Are you going to start out at clubs? | ||
| I'm going to do theaters, casinos. | ||
| Do you have a framework of what you're going to talk about? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to talk about raising good sons and all that that entails. | ||
| Are you going to bring someone with you on the road to warm up? | ||
| I probably should. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I was kind of saying I wanted to co-headline too. | ||
| I thought to co-headline with Monique would be a blast. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Yeah, me and her talked about it, and that'd be fun. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, anybody. | ||
| Yeah, just to get out there again and tell me the jokes. | ||
| I really like hearing people laugh. | ||
| That'd be a great thing for you too. | ||
| Yeah, that'd make me feel better. | ||
| How long has it been since you've done stand-up? | ||
| Oh, I did it just before, you know. | ||
| In fact, I think that's why I got so run down. | ||
| You know, I got so run down when I, you know, this whole thing. | ||
| I was so run down at that point that I had no B vitamins in my body. | ||
| How's it even possible? | ||
| Well, I mean, it was at a really low level. | ||
| And the doctor said, you know, that can cause psychosis. | ||
| So that's why I go, okay. | ||
| That's what happened to me, really. | ||
| I was getting way out there in Salt Lake City, Utah, anyway. | ||
| I did do stand-up all through Canada, and then I ended up in New York doing promo for Roseanne. | ||
| And, you know, I just got too run down. | ||
| I didn't watch myself and do what I should have done for my physical health. | ||
| Well, this time around, let's get you sorted out. | ||
| Let's get you on some vitamins and get you a nutritionist and get somebody who's going to do some blood work on you and make sure everything's okay. | ||
| I get blood work done. | ||
| I go to the cancer center at whatever that hospital's called over there. | ||
| Yeah, that's good. | ||
| I always have to have infusions every three months because I don't absorb minerals or vitamins. | ||
| What do you mean you don't absorb them? | ||
| Yeah, I had this gastric bypass about 25 or so years ago. | ||
| And I can't absorb minerals or vitamins. | ||
| And so I have to go get infusions every, you know, when I get... | ||
| Like I said, I was promoting the Roseanne show and also doing some touring in Canada and I got too run down. | ||
| I think I had a mental collapse. | ||
| I told the network, I said, obviously I'm not behaving in the right way and I will check myself in and get my meds checked and make sure I'm, you know, so I said I have mental health issues and You know, I said also I thought that woman was white and it wasn't anything about race. | ||
| It was about Iran. | ||
| And it was like, well, we'll see how this washes out. | ||
| Ben Sherman, yeah. | ||
| We'll see how this washes out. | ||
| And then 20 minutes later, Wanda Sykes tweeted, let me off this show. | ||
| And then Sarah Gilbert tweeted shortly thereafter something about she was ashamed of one cast member. | ||
| And that one blew me away. | ||
| And Michael Fishman tweeted that he was ashamed of my racism or some shit. | ||
| And that was hard to take. | ||
| But it seemed orchestrated because they used the same words, you know, egregious, unforgivable. | ||
| But in fact, it might have been offensive. | ||
| And like when I was talking to Mike today, I said, you know, we all say things racially insensitive at times. | ||
| All of us do that. | ||
| I'm a Jew. | ||
| I've heard everything. | ||
| You know, or ethnically offensive to somebody, but that doesn't mean we're the KKK, okay? | ||
| That doesn't mean we're, you know, fascists or, you know, and especially if we apologize, because most people who are offensive, they mean to be offensive and they don't apologize. | ||
| And I think that's when you know there's a difference. | ||
| And if you don't have the discretion to understand that, something's wrong with you. | ||
| And I think something's wrong with people that they're so hateful and so unforgiving. | ||
| And if you don't vote the way they think you should vote, that they feel justified in being so, what's the word, so sanctimonious and self-righteous. | ||
| And when they themselves are You know, kind of saying far more offensive things about people's children and such, for instance. | ||
| I think people are just cowards. | ||
| And I think when things like this happen, they want to separate themselves from controversy and make sure that they're not a part of the people that are being attacked. | ||
| I can understand that. | ||
| I can kind of understand it, but I don't get it. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| But that's what they do, you know? | ||
| And, you know, I'm like, wow. | ||
| They also get really, really upset when A few years later, somebody does the exact same thing to them. | ||
| And what goes around comes around. | ||
| And that's true. | ||
| And especially true in Hollywood. | ||
| The guy that fired me just was fired a couple weeks ago. | ||
| For what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| His contract wasn't renewed. | ||
| And his last words were, well, I didn't know I'd be forced to cancel our number one show. | ||
| He wasn't forced to do anything. | ||
| Well, he might have been forced. | ||
| They're all fools. | ||
| First of all, they should have let the dust settle. | ||
| Second of all, they should have examined what you actually said and what your intentions were and let you apologize. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then have a conversation with you on one of their shows in long form. | ||
| You mean a teaching moment, such as if Valerie Jarrett would have accepted that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I said I would like to debate her on the Iran deal and explain what I said. | ||
| Well, even that's not necessary. | ||
| Americans should know about that deal. | ||
| Well, maybe they should, but I don't think that's completely related to your tweet. | ||
| But it would have been a teachable moment. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But it also would have been a distraction from what you were trying to say. | ||
| Well, they didn't let me say it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But to get involved openly, politically, on a television show... | ||
| I know, that's dangerous, but Taylor Swift just did it. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| Just get out and vote? | ||
| Vote for the Democrat. | ||
| Yeah, but wasn't that like, it's almost abstract. | ||
| Get out and vote. | ||
| No, she said vote for the Democrat. | ||
| I don't like the Republican, Marsha Blackburn. | ||
| She didn't like her, although Marsha Blackburn has been the author of a lot of great anti-rape laws and all kinds of stuff like that. | ||
| But she didn't like her because she's a Republican. | ||
| So she took a stand, a political stand. | ||
| I guess, you know, some people can do it. | ||
| But some people can't. | ||
| And the political stand I took, which I just want to remind people, is that I'm an independent. | ||
| That's my stance. | ||
| And I just thought both sides had gone too far out and needed to talk to each other. | ||
| So I came back and did a show about that. | ||
| That's the stance you took with your show. | ||
| Yeah, and in my life. | ||
| It's like, if we can't even discuss things, that's really, really bad. | ||
| That's not American. | ||
| We discuss and debate. | ||
| We don't label and blacklist. | ||
| We certainly can talk things. | ||
| And maybe that's something you could have done once they had a conversation with you about your tweet. | ||
| But, I mean, I just think that what they did was just very hasty and very foolhardy. | ||
| And they should have known who you were beforehand. | ||
| They should have known about your mental health issues. | ||
| They should know. | ||
| They should have known about your medication issues, all of those things. | ||
| They knew. | ||
| But this is what my point was. | ||
| If you have a person with a broken leg and they can't run, and you get mad at them because they can't run, Isn't that ridiculous? | ||
| Well, if you have a person that has brain issues, and then they do something that's erratic, and you're mad at them for that? | ||
| Well, you're a fucking idiot. | ||
| That's stupid. | ||
| And you call them a racist or chastise them in front of the world so that you remove any possible Any possible negative opinions that could be cast your way. | ||
| That's what a lot of it is. | ||
| It's deflection. | ||
| They're worried about negative opinions and negative feedback that's going to come their way, so they immediately turn on you. | ||
| They turn on you in a disproportionate way. | ||
| Well, they did cancel the show before even one advertiser had pulled out. | ||
| It reminds me of Sarah Silverman's bit, I'm for against it. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| I'm for against it. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of cowardice going on. | ||
| There's a lot of people trying to save their jobs and people panic because people are aware of the outrage culture that we live in. | ||
| This is an outraged nation right now. | ||
| It's one of our number one forms of recreation. | ||
| People love it. | ||
| They love getting mad at whoever the fuck it is. | ||
| As long as you react the way they want you to react, ooh, they love it. | ||
| It's an inquisition. | ||
| Well, it's the understanding that people have way more power to affect change, whether it's good change or bad change. | ||
| They're pushing buttons with social media and with outrage and with their ability to express themselves. | ||
| It's unprecedented. | ||
| There's never been a time like this in history. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, Salem. | ||
| The witch trials? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's like, okay, well, if you swim, that proves you're a witch, and then we have to drown you. | ||
| There has to be a loser. | ||
| There can't be two winners. | ||
| Well, there has to be an understanding of what's happening here. | ||
| And people have to have an understanding of the power that they're wielding and what they're doing and that it could turn back on them. | ||
| And it will. | ||
| It doesn't ever just stop at one person. | ||
| That's why I said, I'm surprised that a lot more comics didn't defend me because, you know, this means that anything they find in your timeline that they think is offensive, they can mischaracterize and bring a whole battle against you that you can't possibly win and take your life's work. | ||
| Well, how many did defend you? | ||
| Nobody defended me. | ||
| Well, I did. | ||
| You did, thank you. | ||
| Stanhope did. | ||
| Stanhope did, yeah. | ||
| I thought you meant that we're working with you. | ||
| No, none of them that worked with you. | ||
| Well, everybody that worked with you wanted to keep their job. | ||
| Yeah, and I don't blame them. | ||
| I don't blame them. | ||
| They probably, you know, needed the money and probably already spent it. | ||
| Well, the other thing, too, the sitcom life, that fucking schedule is ruthless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's grueling. | |
| But you know what I think it was? | ||
| A lot of it was, you know, I gave them the gun to shoot me. | ||
| I mean, I wasn't a helpless victim, although I think my explanation either makes sense or doesn't make sense. | ||
| Well, if you're compassionate, it makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, but a lot of people aren't. | ||
| But, you know, I forgot what I was going to say. | ||
| I don't even know if they're not compassionate, Roseanne. | ||
| I think they're scared. | ||
| I think they're just chicken shit. | ||
| I don't think they're looking at it in terms of like, I can't win here and I can't lose here. | ||
| Let me just look at what's right. | ||
| See, I didn't have anything to win or lose. | ||
| So when I looked at it, I looked at you as someone that I admire, someone that I think is one of the best comics ever, who I think, I know that you have mental health issues. | ||
| I knew from talking to you that you were on Ambien, and I knew you had alcohol as well. | ||
| I know what that does. | ||
| My mom took Ambien. | ||
| She woke up in the middle of the night and drew all over the, she had a bathroom rug, drew all over it with lipstick and nail polish. | ||
| She said like a little kid. | ||
| She woke up in the morning, she had no idea she did it. | ||
| She's terrified of that shit. | ||
| She won't take it now. | ||
| I have many friends, many friends that have had bad experiences on ambience. | ||
| I have too, and I thought, well, they shouldn't have shut down that conversation like that. | ||
| They shouldn't have. | ||
| It's a fucking dangerous drug for the wrong people in the wrong situations, especially when you mix it with alcohol. | ||
| I mean, it's beneficial to people that need sleep in certain situations. | ||
| I don't recommend it. | ||
| I don't take it. | ||
| But some people like it. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| But to ignore what the actual pharmacological effect on the human body is, is ridiculous. | ||
| Because there's studies on this shit. | ||
| And people understand the interaction between chemicals and the human brain. | ||
| And they're erratic. | ||
| And especially when you mix them with things you're not supposed to mix them with. | ||
| Weird shit happens. | ||
| Yeah, I thought that tweet... | ||
| I thought I was going to expand on it in the morning. | ||
| And, you know, talk about that movie. | ||
| And... | ||
| Too late. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was too late. | ||
| But the whole thing is just fucking crazy. | ||
| Well, they told me not to tweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's probably a good idea. | ||
| But... | ||
| Now, honestly, the problem also with Twitter is that fucking text is just too simple. | ||
| It's too crude a way of communicating. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| You can get across some ideas. | ||
| Like you can say, hey, I went to see Little Foote. | ||
| It's a great movie. | ||
| That's a good thing to tweet. | ||
| Real simple shit like that. | ||
| But we don't want to talk about political things or things that involve nuance or things that are complex. | ||
| I just don't think it's the way to communicate. | ||
| I don't either anymore. | ||
| No. | ||
| I think it's a terrible way to communicate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not communicate. | ||
| It's like, what did he say? | ||
| Search and destroy. | ||
| Well, for some folks, yeah. | ||
| Well, there's going to be people that always want to make things crash and burn. | ||
| They like it. | ||
| They do like it. | ||
| They like hitting the buttons. | ||
| They like to see people suffer. | ||
| Well, they definitely are suffering themselves. | ||
| Look, there's a giant percentage of our population that lives in misery. | ||
| I know it. | ||
| They do all day long, and they have mental health issues, they're exhausted, they're depressed, they have despair, they're overwhelmed with bills, they're in shitty relationships. | ||
| They're overwhelmed. | ||
| And they're angry. | ||
| And they look at someone like you, a rich white lady, and they're like, fuck that bitch. | ||
| And they just want to attack you. | ||
| And it doesn't have to make sense. | ||
| Because it's a reflection of their own personal pain. | ||
| As much as it's a reflection of their irresponsibility with this power that they're wielding through social media. | ||
| And then there's the mob mentality. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that are already going after you. | ||
| Good, I'm going to go after her too. | ||
| I'm going to show the world that I'm not racist. | ||
| You know how I'm going to do that? | ||
| I'm going to shit all over this racist. | ||
| This racist Roseanne. | ||
| They don't care if you're really racist. | ||
| But the thing that gets me about it is I'm going to shit all over this Jew. | ||
| Because I was talking about Iran as a Jew and speaking about Persian Jews and, you know, all kinds of Arab Jews. | ||
| Yeah, but you're talking about complexity. | ||
| It is complex. | ||
| But I always was on there talking, you know, defending or, you know, speaking for Jewish people. | ||
| And so, you know, I just I think that in the long run, I really want it to be known that I am a Jew. | ||
| And was speaking as a Jew when I spoke about the Iran deal and its effect on Jewish people in the Middle East. | ||
| And I really thought first they didn't know that, but now I think, well, they had to know some of it. | ||
| I don't think they want to know. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| You say, someone says, that's a black woman. | ||
| What is she? | ||
| One-eighth black? | ||
| Like, what is she? | ||
| Something very small. | ||
| 46% or something. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She had her DNA done and was talking about it. | ||
| And 40-something Caucasian. | ||
| It doesn't look like it. | ||
| But whatever. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| We can't tell who people are by how they look. | ||
| I'm 1.6% African. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| That's the heart of the world. | ||
| When you look at what happened, I think it's real simple. | ||
| I think she identifies or people identify her as a black woman. | ||
| You said Planet of the Apes. | ||
| Racist. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| I don't think they give a fuck if you're a Jew. | ||
| I don't think they care if you're not racist. | ||
| I think this is a viable target. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Well, I said I voted for Trump, so I was a target. | ||
| That too. | ||
| That too. | ||
| And then they could find a tweet from the past calling a woman a man. | ||
| But let's not forget either. | ||
| Oh yeah, I got in trouble for that many times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there's just things you can't say. | ||
| And then there's worse things that you can. | ||
| So it's weird because they don't censor anybody who's, you know, calling for, you know, to kill all the Jews. | ||
| There's thousands of them. | ||
| They don't do shit about that. | ||
| They're not famous women with sitcoms. | ||
| Yeah, they are. | ||
| Who? | ||
| You know, people that are tweeting support for Valerie Jarrett. | ||
| You know, they're pissed at me and saying, how could you say this about this? | ||
| But they're not saying that because they're saying kill the Jews. | ||
| They don't maybe know what your point was or what you're implying. | ||
| Well, then I didn't know, like I didn't know about her parentage. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| This is the truth. | ||
| This is who I am. | ||
| And, you know, they did this to... | ||
| But they're not really saying kill the Jews. | ||
| It's not like a valid comparison. | ||
| Well, I'm a Jew. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| That's how it feels. | ||
| Maybe it feels that way to you. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It does to a large number of us. | ||
| They're upset at you because they think you said something racist. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They're not saying kill the Jews. | ||
| Well, but they are. | ||
| To us. | ||
| Okay, you see how when people look at your situation... | ||
| I can see how they think. | ||
| But you see how when people look at your situation and they think it's racist, that is also how you look at their reacting to what they think is racist and you thinking that they're saying kill all the Jews. | ||
| Well, they're saying, like, you know, Iran every day threatens the Jewish people in Israel with annihilation, and they've already survived, you know, not too long ago an annihilation. | ||
| And then we make a deal with that government. | ||
| That does say something. | ||
| I understand that, but this is many steps past recognizing that you said a racist thing, or thinking you said a racist thing. | ||
| I understand that they think I said a racist thing. | ||
| I understand that completely. | ||
| They have no idea that this had anything to do with Jews versus Iran. | ||
| They really don't have any idea. | ||
| I've never seen that registered by any of the people that are upset at you. | ||
| Because it's not important enough to them to know that. | ||
| Well, it's probably not been explained to them, for one. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Your position like this, like you're talking about now. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| They might not even think it's valid. | ||
| Like, if they went back and went over it, they might disagree with the political aspects of it. | ||
| Yes, and they're free to do that. | ||
| I'm not going to try to ruin their lives. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| The reason why I said it's not a valid comparison, they're not really saying kill the Jews. | ||
| But to me and to other Jews, they are in fact saying that. | ||
| And that's very common amongst us. | ||
| So, you know, that's the truth that many of us think. | ||
| And, you know, people don't understand it or they don't, you know, care to even consider it. | ||
| Well, they don't have to, but I'm still going to say it because that's the reality. | ||
| It's the reality to hear that, and to hear that the United States went and gave them billions of our tax dollars when they're the number one supporter of terror in the world. | ||
| It is, and they always do kill Jews, like in Paris and wherever else they go. | ||
| They do it in London, too. | ||
| I mean, you know, I hate to wake people up, but, you know, it is important. | ||
| At least it is to me and to people like me. | ||
| And to many other people, many Christians, it's very important to them, too. | ||
| They're under onslaught, too. | ||
| I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about. | ||
| Because you're talking about Iranians killing people in Paris and England? | ||
| No, I'm talking about being the number one sponsor of terror in the world, Iran. | ||
| But they're killing people in France and England? | ||
| Yeah, that are Jews. | ||
| When is this happening? | ||
| Well, that theater and a lot of other times. | ||
| But there's a lot of people in that audience. | ||
| They beat that old Jewish woman to death in her Paris apartment. | ||
| There's a lot of it. | ||
| I'm not saying they only kill Jews, but they do kill Jews. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And the money goes back to those terrorist organizations that are funded by Qatar and Iran. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is a pretty—these are general things you're saying, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's very general, and there's a hundred shades. | ||
| But I'm just saying, as a Jew with a family in Israel, this is what we think, and this is how we feel. | ||
| And to not even acknowledge that in any discussion is kind of disturbing. | ||
| It should be factors. | ||
| I don't think it's a matter of not acknowledging it. | ||
| But it should be factored in as well. | ||
| I don't think they're aware that this had anything to do with your motivation. | ||
| Well, I know. | ||
| It's never been expressed. | ||
| I've never read it anywhere. | ||
| You can't say it. | ||
| That's why I'm saying it here. | ||
| You can't say it. | ||
| It's not really smiled on to go against the people who Control our media and say, especially social media, and say that you're pro-Israel or that you think... | ||
| You don't think that the media will allow you to be pro-Israel? | ||
| I mean, that seems like a really common thing. | ||
| Not on social media, for the most part, no. | ||
| It's very anti-Israel. | ||
| I'll send you statistics. | ||
| Well, I see some anti-Israel sentiment, especially in relation to the way they treat the Palestinians. | ||
| Like, I see a lot of that. | ||
| Yeah, well, I'm not going to play into either of those because I really believe that, you know, there's a solution to that problem. | ||
| The solution is peace, and I think it can be achieved. | ||
| So I'm not going to play either one of those games about who does this or what. | ||
| I just like to see a solution that works for all the people there. | ||
| All people there. | ||
| Well, I think any reasonable person would agree with that. | ||
| But it can't be if one side has been completely censored, and that isn't a discussion, nor is it a debate, and nor is it an American. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| It's scary times when, you know, like on our college campuses today, I know this because my son was on one, and, you know, it's a far-left, there are far-left professors that espouse that kind of stuff daily in all of our colleges, and it does find its way to the media. | ||
| You look at the media that most, what are they called, millennials consume, and it's heavily to the left. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| And so that's where they're getting their opinions from only hearing one side of things on social media, and I don't think that's good. | ||
| I don't think it's good that all conservative voices are being censored off Twitter. | ||
| Well, not all. | ||
| I shouldn't say all, but that so many are, because that's a way to shut down discussion, too. | ||
| There's quite a few conservative voices on Twitter, but some are when they think they're inflammatory or they think they're espousing hate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they get to decide that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Who's deciding that? | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It's people who are heavily political. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's not right. | ||
| All tech companies lean left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| All of them. | ||
| And it should be more in the middle where both sides are considered to come to a... | ||
| That's what consensus means, is a diverse opinion. | ||
| And that's how you reach consensus. | ||
| You don't get a consensus nor a solution from only listening to one side blather on the same ship for 20 years. | ||
| Well, not only that... | ||
| That keeps people fighting at each other. | ||
| Not only does it keep people fighting, I think it recruits people for the other side. | ||
| I think it does the opposite of its intended effect. | ||
| That's what one of my friends said. | ||
| He said he thinks Michael Moore, that's Michael Moore's role, since he's a billionaire, too. | ||
| Michael Moore's a billionaire? | ||
| Well, they said this is what they said. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But it's in that vein. | ||
| It's like, well, he did get so many people to vote for Trump when he said that stuff about people are angry. | ||
| I don't think he did it on purpose. | ||
| But a lot of people credit him for voting for Trump for that speech. | ||
| Yeah, well, I'm sure. | ||
| And so my friend said maybe he's a double agent, which I don't think he is. | ||
| I think this is one of the things that happens when you give people that much suppression and you try to indoctrinate people into thinking a certain way, there's going to be people that resist it, a large amount. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| It seems larger and larger, but freedom of thought is the basis of this country. | ||
| It's not freedom of speech or freedom of religion or freedom of the Second Amendment. | ||
| Those are symptoms of freedom of thought. | ||
| And it isn't good to consume endless propaganda and never have it broken down or debated or pointed out that it's false. | ||
| There is an issue when you're only getting one side of the argument and the people that are controlling the media only want that one side expressed. | ||
| That is a problem. | ||
| And there's no solution to that right now in terms of a right-wing version of it. | ||
| Well, because they won't let it happen. | ||
| But who's that? | ||
| You know, the people that are in charge of programming the networks. | ||
| They don't want that. | ||
| Tech people seem to always lean left. | ||
| I mean, technologically oriented companies and corporations always, almost invariably, lean left. | ||
| Why do you think that is? | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| They're educated. | ||
| They're fresh out of college. | ||
| The colleges are indoctrinating left-wing kids. | ||
| And, you know, you have a vast majority of professors at universities all across the country that identify as Democrats. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So this is the indoctrination they get from people that they respect deeply and that they're learning from. | ||
| There's also an understanding that this is the way you advance. | ||
| And then when someone comes out that has anything that deviates from that... | ||
| Well, wait a minute. | ||
| You said you didn't think that it has a brain center. | ||
| I don't think it has a brain center. | ||
| You didn't think it was coordinated. | ||
| It's not coordinated in terms of the government. | ||
| I think what's happening in the universities is you've got people that are, first of all, they're existing in this bizarre glass-walled garden where they go to universities, they get indoctrinated into these left-wing cultures, and then they start teaching at universities, and they never get out into the real world. | ||
| And then they teach children these thoughts and ideas. | ||
| And then most of the kids leave, and they take these ideas somewhere else, and then slowly over time they become more moderate. | ||
| Most of them do. | ||
| Or they reject those ideas and either go to the center or go right, or some of them stay left. | ||
| But when they go into tech companies... | ||
| Probably the most go center. | ||
| A lot of them go center, which is, I think, probably where sanity is. | ||
| I think sanity is somewhere in the center. | ||
| Right in the middle, yeah. | ||
| And I think discussion is critical. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that are Republican. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that are liberal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| There's nothing wrong with either mindset. | ||
| And the only way we find out whether or not we really agree or disagree is we let people express themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| And as soon as you suppress that kind of expression, then you run into real problems. | ||
| That's absolutely right and that's what I wanted on my show is that I would show that there was a Trump lover and a Trump hater in the same house and they managed to deal with it and get on with their life. | ||
| That's a great premise for a show and it was one of the reasons why I think people loved it so much is because there was that conflict. | ||
| And because, look, people can love a lovable curmudgeon. | ||
| People can love someone who has ideas that they disagree with. | ||
| People can love someone who lives with someone who has a completely opposing opinion. | ||
| They figure it out and they get along. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| I thought it was great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was great. | |
| And my boyfriend said, your mistake is that you put a cramp in the hate business. | ||
| I don't think that's the case. | ||
| I think that you just, you became a target. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| I don't think they were happy from the beginning. | ||
| I don't think they really wanted me to come back. | ||
| I think there's a certain amount of that when they found out that you're a Trump supporter, and then the show became successful, and Donald Trump loved it, and then Trump supporters loved it. | ||
| Well, also they thought I was a troublemaker and a big mouth. | ||
| They've always thought that. | ||
| Well, you're a comic. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And everybody remembers when you sang the National Anthem and grabbed your crotch and spit on the ground. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| When did I do that? | ||
| When you do that gastric bypass thing, is that something they can reverse? | ||
| They could reverse it, but what the hell, then I'll weigh 800. Would you really, though? | ||
| Then I'll be like Large Marge. | ||
| You wouldn't. | ||
| Yeah, I would. | ||
| Would you just eat everything? | ||
| Oh, hell yeah. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| That's where I had it, because I couldn't stop. | ||
| Talk about addiction. | ||
| Impulsive, right? | ||
| Oh yeah, all day long. | ||
| Eclairs, what have you. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| I hate those goddamn things. | ||
| Eclairs? | ||
| No, gastric bypass surgeries. | ||
| A lot of people have had it. | ||
| I know they save people. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| But I just wish there was a better way. | ||
| Because it fucks up your nutrient absorption abilities, like you were talking about. | ||
| It totally does, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I've heard that from several people. | ||
| I know guys who've gotten in, they hate their way through it. | ||
| And that fucks up your mental state. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| A lot of it has to do with the health of your body. | ||
| Your ability to absorb nutrients affects everything. | ||
| Your mood, your energy levels, everything. | ||
| I mean, food doesn't get in there the right way. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'd just lay in bed until they called for me, you know? | ||
| And then I'd just stumble in, do my thing, go back to bed. | ||
| I just had no energy. | ||
| Listen, Roseanne, why don't you do something like this? | ||
| What? | ||
| Like this conversation. | ||
| I want to. | ||
| You could do this on your time, whenever you want to do it, without anybody telling you what to say or what not to say, without any executives, without anybody to fire you. | ||
| Well, won't they de-YouTube you or something? | ||
| I mean, they'd kick you off everything. | ||
| They could, but I don't think they would. | ||
| And on top of that, you could do it off your own website. | ||
| You could do it on RoseanneBarr.com. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm always afraid they'll, you know, I just feel like, hey, this is the time of my life. | ||
| I'm 66. It's probably the time for me to just lay low, do stand up sometimes. | ||
| That's a great idea, too. | ||
| Lay low, you know. | ||
| That's even better. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Go do that, then. | ||
| And show us some of my farming videos. | ||
| Yeah, listen. | ||
| Because people like to know about how to grow food, and I'm really good at growing food. | ||
| When you do stand-up and you go on a tour, I think it's going to be hugely successful. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think people are going to come out in droves, and I think it's going to be awesome. | ||
| And I think once you get your legs under you and you start doing a few shows and get things cracking again, you'll be like the Roseanne of old. | ||
| You'll be crushing it. | ||
| I was crushing it, I have to say, in my tour of Canada. | ||
| I was crushing it. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm sure you were. | |
| It was a blast. | ||
| I had, oh my god, I just had the most fun, you know? | ||
| Get back out there! | ||
| 90 minutes of total control over, you know, bing, bing, bing, and I got like a big laugh every 90 seconds. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| You know, I tailor it and craft it and love it. | ||
| Love the people that come out to see me. | ||
| Good, then fuck everything else. | ||
| I have a really diverse crowd too, which is great. | ||
| Well, I bet it'll be even more diverse now. | ||
| Well, it's going to be way better, I think, because I'm going to really start talking about the real me, such as my abhorrence and fear of serpents. | ||
| You're scared of serpents? | ||
| Oh yeah, I always have been. | ||
| Don't go to Florida. | ||
| No, I won't. | ||
| Don't go to the swamps, for sure. | ||
| You heard about what's going on down there? | ||
| What? | ||
| With people releasing pythons? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Over decades, you didn't know? | ||
| No. | ||
| Florida's overrun with pythons. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Non-native pythons, because people release them as pets, and then they move to the swamps and bred. | ||
| Yeah, they've eaten everything. | ||
| There's almost no mammals in the swamps now. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They said 99% of all raccoons are gone. | ||
| They couldn't find any marsh rabbits. | ||
| They couldn't find any bobcats. | ||
| And the pythons have started eating alligators. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh, shit. | ||
| There's thousands of them out there. | ||
| See, the world's gone nuts. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Stay away from Florida. | ||
| I will. | ||
| I had a turtle that kind of fell. | ||
| Are we done? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, we can be done. | ||
| Or you can keep going. | ||
| Well, I had this turtle that fell in love with me and wanted to mate with me in Hawaii. | ||
| It was so weird. | ||
| No, this is for true. | ||
| I've always been really afraid of serpents, okay? | ||
| So I go in the ocean there, and my friends, they're like, don't touch the turtles. | ||
| There's a... | ||
| $5,000 fine of something you don't touch. | ||
| Sea turtles? | ||
| Yeah, sea turtles. | ||
| Those big old things? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I'm like, you know, like I say, I'm a Jew. | ||
| So as soon as I hear that, I'm like, yeah, well, fuck them. | ||
| I'm touching it. | ||
| You know, so I did. | ||
| And then it turned, it went and started swimming around me. | ||
| And then it went in this big circle. | ||
| And its head came out of the water and it side-eyed me. | ||
| And I was like, oh, Christ, it's the serpent I've been afraid of my whole life. | ||
| And he chased me onto the shore. | ||
| She goes, that's why we don't touch the turtles, because they bond with you. | ||
| I'm like, this guy wants me to marry him. | ||
| They bond with you? | ||
| Yeah, if you touch him, they like you. | ||
| They're like, hey, she'll go for it. | ||
| It was terrifying. | ||
| I've seen them in the water. | ||
| They're fucking cool to look at. | ||
| They're swimming around there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're awesome. | |
| They're like a little Volkswagen with these four paddles and a serpent head coming out like this. | ||
| Well, they look so prehistoric too. | ||
| Yeah, you're mine. | ||
| That's how it looked. | ||
| They locked eyes with you. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like this. | |
| Looked into you. | ||
| Side eye. | ||
| Side eye. | ||
| You're mine. | ||
| Oh, they go side eye. | ||
| I'll know now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| It was terrifying. | ||
| Something to think of. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never gone back in that water. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I could see why that would be a problem. | ||
| And I have a lot of serpent things. | ||
| Also, like when I see people, I can see if they're a serpent or not. | ||
| You know how they say the reptilian? | ||
| Like I told my kids, this is the hardest thing I've ever... | ||
| Like that David Icke type shit? | ||
| Well, I really do see him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Really? | ||
| I sort of believe him. | ||
| He's gone down a rabbit hole, that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| It's more like a gopher hole. | ||
| Somewhere real deep into the core of the earth. | ||
| I don't think he talks about that stuff anymore. | ||
| No, he kind of laid it back. | ||
| He gets upset. | ||
| That's because I confronted him. | ||
| Dude, you've lost it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's what I was doing on Twitter, too, is DMing people and going, you've lost it. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| I used to do these fake phone or crank phone calls before they got that star 69. Yeah. | ||
| And I was married to, what's his face then? | ||
| The Oaf. | ||
| And he came in the room there and he told me to stop doing it. | ||
| And he looked at my address book and I was calling General Schwarzkopf to do it to him. | ||
| And he's like, you don't crank call General Schwarzkopf because I had all these numbers. | ||
| Anyway, so, what was I saying? | ||
| Crank calls. | ||
| Yeah, I used to do that, but then I went to the DM, you know, on Twitter. | ||
| Oh, that's the way. | ||
| Just get them riled up that way? | ||
| Well, just go, come on, you're losing it. | ||
| Yeah, what did David Icke say? | ||
| He said that like all the big major world figures were like secretly reptilians. | ||
| Yeah, the reptilians. | ||
| The shapeshifters and shit. | ||
| Yeah, and I told my kids, here's what I told my kids, this is the hardest thing I'll ever tell you, and I didn't know, so I couldn't help it at the time, but I recently found out that your dad is reptilian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a joke. | |
| Sort of a joke. | ||
| But they are half reptilian. | ||
| But I can see, like, people becoming the reptile. | ||
| Like, I'll see them and their head goes up like this, you know? | ||
| Like on TV! Their head, their neck goes out like this and then the tongue comes out of the corner to let go, ah! | ||
| Like that. | ||
| They do it. | ||
| I see it on TV all the time. | ||
| Like who's a reptile? | ||
| All them devil worshippers. | ||
| Like who? | ||
| Do you go to those devil worship parties here they're talking about in Hollywood? | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| I went to a wedding. | ||
| Was it a devil worship? | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Anton LaVey's son? | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Was a devil worshipper? | ||
| This is what it was. | ||
| A motherfucker like you there. | ||
| People call me a Satan worshipper now because of it. | ||
| Oh my God! | ||
| My friend Duncan, this was like 15 years ago, my friend Duncan used to have this puppet called Little Hobo. | ||
| And he would do this hilarious bit at the end of his comedy show where Little Hobo was his grandfather's puppet and his grandfather died and his grandfather's last wish was that he bring Little Hobo on stage with him one more time And the puppet would come to life. | ||
| There's Duncan with Little Hobo. | ||
| Little Hobo was this fucked up looking puppet. | ||
| It was a hilarious bit. | ||
| Oh, that sounds funny. | ||
| Anton LaVey's grandson? | ||
| Is that who it was? | ||
| Or son? | ||
| Was getting married and asked Duncan to perform at his party. | ||
| So me and a bunch of my friends all went to see Duncan perform at this bizarre Satanist party. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| It was in Hollywood. | ||
| It was like there's a concert and Hank the third, Hank Williams the third performed there. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And it was kind of fun, but it was bizarre. | ||
| And so there's like a picture with me and the guy and people say I'm a Satan worshiper now. | ||
| You're not, are you? | ||
| Definitely not. | ||
| I'm not either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's me. | |
| Oh my God, you look like a Satan worshiper. | ||
| And I've got someone's shirt on. | ||
| Which one's you? | ||
| The guy on the left with the hair. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Which one's you? | ||
| That don't look like you. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| You gotta get some better glasses, Mama. | ||
| I know, I can't tell. | ||
| I can't tell about you. | ||
| Oh, exactly like me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Well, I can't tell. | ||
| But anyway, no, I promise you. | ||
| No Satan worshipping. | ||
| No, no worshipping, period. | ||
| There's some real... | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| ...crazy people out here. | ||
| There definitely really are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm glad you didn't stay in with them. | ||
| I went to one stupid fucking party because of my friend Duncan. | ||
| Fucking Duncan! | ||
| Get me in trouble, you son of a bitch. | ||
| What else? | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| We were talking about Satan worshippers. | ||
| You were saying something. | ||
| Oh, lizard people. | ||
| So who's the lizard people? | ||
| The reptile folk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who's... | ||
| Well, you can just see... | ||
| All the Satan worshipper people you said. | ||
| I can't say nobody's name. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But I'll tell you what to look for. | ||
| I can't say. | ||
| But if you really take a hard, long look when they're talking, watch for that neck going up and the head twisting. | ||
| And then the tongue coming out the corner. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'll keep an eye out. | ||
| So you're saying... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll keep an eye out for it. | |
| Well, listen, Roseanne, thank you. | ||
| Thanks for having me on. | ||
| This was a lot of fun. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| I think people got a chance to see the real you. | ||
| Well, I just want to say to everybody out there, before you kick me out of here, hey, I love everybody. | ||
| I believe in one law for all people, and, you know, I'm not any fucking backwoods idiot. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You're not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| No, I love all people. | ||
| And I'm happy you're doing stand-up again, because like I said, I think you're one of the best ever. | ||
| Oh, that's so sweet. | ||
| Damn, that makes me happy. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I'm glad you're doing it. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Roseanne Barr, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Thanks, Joe. |
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