Aug. 7, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:47:51
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
boom and we're live And we're live! | |
| Pull this sucker up there. | ||
| Yeah, a little closer? | ||
| A little closer? | ||
| Yeah, right about there. | ||
| How are you, fella? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| How are you doing? | ||
| Very nice to meet you. | ||
| Nice to meet you, too. | ||
| You're remarkably normal. | ||
| Oh, thanks. | ||
| I know, people always struck at how normal I am. | ||
| I'm just like, wow, really? | ||
| I think my reputation... | ||
| You made it through the maze of being a famous child. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's a very unusual maze. | ||
| Yeah, my life is unique to me. | ||
| That's what I like to say. | ||
| I'm almost like a peerless person to a certain extent. | ||
| There's not too many people. | ||
| I can look left and right. | ||
| We have similar experiences. | ||
| Yeah, is there anybody that you ever contacted? | ||
| Like Jodie Foster or someone who's made it through and seems pretty put together? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| I mean, it's kind of a weird cold call. | ||
| It's like, hey... | ||
| Jodie Foster. | ||
| But I think it's such a small clan of people. | ||
| Like if a comic called me that I knew, you know, they wanted to talk to me, I would talk to them because it's such a small clan of people. | ||
| I mean, we do have our weekly therapy sessions. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know, yeah. | ||
| Me, Elijah Wood, Jodie Foster, you know, yeah. | ||
| Like we all get together and yeah, we weep, you know. | ||
| Actually, we do primal screaming. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
| I was describing what it was like. | ||
| I have a friend, Ricky Schroeder, who obviously was very famous when he was young as well. | ||
| One of my favorite TV theme songs of all time. | ||
| Silver Spoons. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| And I was saying, the way you developed is not like the way the recipe calls. | ||
| Like, the recipe calls for you to have a childhood and try to figure out life and then become a man and try to find yourself and then try to find your path. | ||
| And by the time he became a man, he was already famous. | ||
| And the same thing with you. | ||
| You were already famous as you were developing and learning. | ||
| Yeah, you know, yeah. | ||
| I don't know exactly how to like kind of even describe it because it's always the way my life has been kind of thing. | ||
| In the same way that like a lot of kids like you know they go out and they You know, catch bugs and play sandlot baseball or whatever. | ||
| It's just like, yeah, that's the way it is. | ||
| You don't really realize how unique the whole situation is until you have perspective. | ||
| Because you have nothing to compare it to, really, other than, I guess, TV shows and movies and things like that. | ||
| So I knew that my upbringing was unique. | ||
| I knew it was different. | ||
| But at the same time, it's kind of just, it's not until you get some perspective, some life experience, until you really realize that, oh, wait, this was particularly weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think one of the aspects that's particularly weird about it is a lot of kids that grow up famous, they grow up on the set. | ||
| And they grow up constantly around people who treat them very differently than everyone else. | ||
| It's not just that you're famous. | ||
| It's that you're famous and you're also the complete center of attention. | ||
| Like, you're the reason why we're here. | ||
| We're here to do this television show. | ||
| We're here to do this movie. | ||
| We're here to do this thing. | ||
| You're the star. | ||
| And that, I think, for a kid, that's a very strange place to be. | ||
| Yeah, and especially, like, I mean, I, like, when I was a kid, like, even before I started working, I always liked being, like, the center of attention kind of thing. | ||
| I was definitely, you know, I was just... | ||
| I was very boisterous. | ||
| But in general, I never really liked being fussed over. | ||
| I didn't like the hair, makeup, costume people poking at you all the time. | ||
| I actually wasn't a huge fan after a while of being that center of attention. | ||
| It does become a job after a while. | ||
| Early on, you kind of just do what you do. | ||
| I was good at it, and boom. | ||
| In the same way that you do anything that you like, It's weird that child labor laws don't apply to acting. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty well versed in child labor laws. | ||
| Well, how's that work then? | ||
| It goes from state to state. | ||
| They can work you, let's say like in New York, they can work you 10 hours. | ||
| Yeah, but stop right there. | ||
| They can work you. | ||
| You can't get a job if you're eight. | ||
| That's what their limit is. | ||
| At the same time, you have to get three hours of schooling in plus an hour of lunch. | ||
| So really, your available window is only six hours or something like that a day. | ||
| And also, in that six hours, they're always setting up the lights for the next shot and the hurry up and wait kind of part of things. | ||
| That's why the second Home Alone, it took like... | ||
| Nearly five months to film because they can only, I mean, virtually every scene, and they can only use me X amount of hours per day kind of thing. | ||
| But isn't that the only job that you can work when you're eight years old? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, you can't be a carpenter. | ||
| I mean, I guess you can do modeling, you know, but like some kind of performing arts kind of thing. | ||
| There are dancers and so forth. | ||
| Because I was a ballet dancer before I was an actor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I did ballet for a number of years. | ||
| I'm a classically trained ballerina right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| Is it a ballerina if you're a man? | ||
| I say I'm a ballet dancer, but there is a weird ballerino. | ||
| That some of them use, and I'm like, I don't think I can call myself a ballerino. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| It's too bro-y. | ||
| Sounds like it's from Welcome Back, Cotter. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Ballerino. | ||
| I'm Billy Ballerino. | ||
| So I did that for a number of years, and there's a bunch of kids that do that, and you get paid, and you do the work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So, you know, there are other, I guess, trades. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it's only show business, though, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| I think it's more in the performing arts kind of thing. | ||
| Like, you know, you don't see a lot of kids working the coal mines anymore. | ||
| Like, that kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah, for good reason, right? | ||
| But some people think that that... | ||
| It's like my six-year-old's dying of black lung, you know? | ||
| Oof. | ||
| There's some horrible pictures from, like, the early 1900s of people actually working in the coal mines when they were little tiny kids. | ||
| Yep, yep. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there are no Newsies anymore, you know? | ||
| Did you have any say in whether or not you worked when you were young? | ||
| Not really, no. | ||
| After a while, it became, like I said, a job. | ||
| I never chose the projects. | ||
| My parents, essentially, chose them for me. | ||
| So they were like, good news, Macaulay! | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You're going to buy us a new house! | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| I never read any of the scripts. | ||
| I would just read the lines for the next day or whatever. | ||
| I would get the gist of what the movie was about. | ||
| But then I'd just kind of show up and... | ||
| Hit my marks, find my light, you know, and recite my lines. | ||
| So surreal. | ||
| It's kind of just like, again, it's what you do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's in the same way that kids go to school or something like that. | ||
| You fall into a routine to a certain extent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's the thing about the human mind, right? | ||
| So flexible. | ||
| You could adopt any sort of weird scenario. | ||
| And especially when you're a kid. | ||
| I mean, you can just bounce all the time. | ||
| Yeah, kids adapt so easy. | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| And I always had like a good memory and things like that. | ||
| Like, you know, I liked, you know, I was... | ||
| Big and charismatic, and I had a good memory, so I could remember my lines. | ||
| That's pretty much what... | ||
| I'm not going to give any advice to any people about, like, you should put your kid into this line of work. | ||
| But at the same time, what producers really care about is whether or not you remember your lines. | ||
| People never work with kids or animals. | ||
| Kind of thing. | ||
| All they really care about is you remember your lines, really. | ||
| Because apparently that's a problem. | ||
| For me, it never was. | ||
| If I ever lost my place, I would just see the script in my head and just read it. | ||
| I kind of had a photographic memory back then. | ||
| Oh, it's faded now. | ||
| How old are you now? | ||
| I'm 37. I'm about to be 38 in two weeks. | ||
| Feels weird, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My bowels are different. | ||
| What's different about your bowels? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I just got a... | ||
| Doing some random checkup kind of thing, and they're like, oh, we should scope you. | ||
| I did the scoping in my stomach kind of thing, but I got a colonoscopy. | ||
| I was actually hoping, because they were putting me under, so it didn't really matter to me. | ||
| They put you under for a colonoscopy? | ||
| Yeah, at least I had that and a scoping. | ||
| I think it's down the throat. | ||
| I was actually hoping they were going to use the butt one first, and then put it in my mouth. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Just ass to mouth, boom. | ||
| But apparently they use different cameras. | ||
| Yeah, they're probably designed different. | ||
| They don't go as deep, right? | ||
| Because they were all worried I might have an ulcer. | ||
| Stomach pains or something? | ||
| Yeah, it's been a little iffy. | ||
| So the good news is I don't have an ulcer. | ||
| Bad news is I have two ulcers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| Yeah, so I'm dealing with that. | ||
| I've had to curtail my lifestyle in general. | ||
| I'm eating less red meat, less carbonated beverages, ibuprofen, no more ibuprofen, that kind of stuff. | ||
| Ibuprofen's terrible for your gut. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I used to eat burgers every single day, and now I can have two servings of red meat a week kind of thing. | ||
| It wasn't too hard for me to curtail my lifestyle. | ||
| Smoking less, trying to drink less, things like that. | ||
| What's the logic behind red meat less? | ||
| I'm not the doctor. | ||
| Does the doctor have a method to his madness? | ||
| Yeah, it's like if you read the list of things that are good or bad for your ulcer. | ||
| So things that are aggravated? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| So red meat falls into that category. | ||
| But chicken doesn't? | ||
| Fish doesn't? | ||
| Apparently not, or at least, you know, less so. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| Yeah, because my special lady friend, she was like, you know, worried about me and stuff, so she was reading up on, like, you know, ulcers and things like that, and it was, like, the first, like, it was like seven things that, like... | ||
| That flare it up. | ||
| And all of them were check marks for exactly what I was doing in my life kind of thing. | ||
| Like I said, red meat, smoking, drinking. | ||
| I had just had a neck issue, so I was taking a lot of ibuprofen. | ||
| And it was just like every single check mark. | ||
| Yeah, I've read something about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria, and they believe that gut bacteria... | ||
| There was something really recent about that. | ||
| A real recent study, they think that they found a new cause for ulcers. | ||
| They used to think it was caused by stress. | ||
| Which can do it, also. | ||
| I've just started a new company and things like that, so I have that kind of stress kind of thing. | ||
| Like I said, I hit a lot of the checkmarks. | ||
| When you say can do it, I think what they were saying was they used to think it can do it, but now they think it's all a matter of bacteria in your stomach. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think that's a big part of it. | ||
| Also, if you, like, I did a movie in Thailand, like, last year, and came back, you know, came back with a worm. | ||
| So, you know, one of those, like, single cell kind, like, you know, when I was getting the medication for it, I was like, so what do I, what should I expect from this? | ||
| And he's like, what do you expect you to get better? | ||
| I go, yeah, but like, you know, what's, like, am I going to shit a worm? | ||
| Am I going to shit out of it? | ||
| And they're like, no, no, no. | ||
| This is one of those single cell ones. | ||
| But it made me more susceptible to getting ulcers. | ||
| Is this because of the antibiotics that you had to take for the worm or anti-worming stuff? | ||
| I think it messes with your stomach chemistry kind of thing. | ||
| And so after that is when you got the ulcer. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| So dealing with it, it's actually not so bad. | ||
| So what does it do to you? | ||
| What does an ulcer do? | ||
| You know, sometimes you kind of get a little pain, things like that. | ||
| Yeah, like, I mean, at one point I was, like, shitting, like, ten times a day, kind of thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it was kind of just, like, it kind of loosens your stool a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, weird. | |
| Yeah, it kind of gets mucus-y. | ||
| I mean, I can go into it. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| You're asking me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't mind. | |
| Yeah, yeah, all right, cool. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Yeah, I find this stuff fascinating. | ||
| It is fascinating. | ||
| I'm like, what just came out of me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Also fascinating, right, when you can't see what's going on. | ||
| It's like behind a door. | ||
| Like, what's happening in there? | ||
| You can't even listen to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, what was that? | ||
| Was that chicken? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, which meal was that one? | ||
| Like, you know, I'm experimenting with my stomach, seeing what comes out the other end kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you experiment at all with probiotics? | ||
| Did you do anything to try to... | ||
| No, not yet. | ||
| This is a fairly recent thing. | ||
| This has only been in the last, not even two months, in the last eight weeks or so. | ||
| So I am just kind of easing into this thing. | ||
| I have a list. | ||
| I made a little list of things that are good for me, to eat, things like that. | ||
| Make sure I get some yogurt, lots of leafy greens, things like that. | ||
| What is that ribbon on your jacket that you have pinned to the safety pin? | ||
| It's a participation badge. | ||
| Because I participate in life. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Is that what it's for? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I went to a... | ||
| It was a camp, like a summer camp-themed wedding back in, like, almost a year ago. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| And so, like, they were giving out participation badges, like, kind of thing, because if you participated in things. | ||
| But yeah, no, everyone always asks me about the ribbon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I kind of just... | ||
| The safety pin done. | ||
| Yeah, kind of just, you know, like, I mean, I wear, like, all kinds of things. | ||
| But for some reason, everyone's like, What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's that? | |
| No, I'm participating in life. | ||
| Here I am, aren't I? I'm on your podcast. | ||
| You are participating in life. | ||
| I am participating. | ||
| You seem really healthy. | ||
| You seem like a together person. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's a shocker for people. | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| Usually, for the most part, I'm pretty put together. | ||
| I've got a good life now. | ||
| I've got a special lady friend. | ||
| We have a dog and a cat together. | ||
| For a family. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| There's one thing to exchange keys. | ||
| It's another to get a cat. | ||
| A cat is you can get a cat together, because a cat can kind of go anywhere. | ||
| But get a dog together, that's a big one. | ||
| She already had the dog, but it's a girl. | ||
| She's a Shiba Inu. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Adorable. | ||
| Looks like a stuffed animal kind of thing. | ||
| And then she's black. | ||
| And then we got a big fluffy white cat. | ||
| And it's like, boy, girl, dog, cat. | ||
| Like, you know, yeah. | ||
| Like, you know, yeah. | ||
| Like, it's... | ||
| They're really, really... | ||
| And they're adorable. | ||
| Like, I've seen dogs and cats play with each other before. | ||
| And it's kind of cute. | ||
| And these guys play all the time. | ||
| It's actually like... | ||
| It's a very special little relationship that they have. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, we never turn on the television. | ||
| Like, in our house. | ||
| And just watch the cats. | ||
| We just watch, like, the dog and the cat and stuff. | ||
| You know, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Do you plan on making people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going to make some babies. | ||
| All that kind of stuff. | ||
| This one's a good one. | ||
| I'm probably going to put some babies in her in a little bit. | ||
| We've definitely been practicing. | ||
| That's important. | ||
| This one, I'm going to have some pretty babies. | ||
| She's Asian, so I'm going to have tiny little Asian babies. | ||
| It's going to be adorable. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Adorable. | |
| A bunch of Sean Lennons running around the house. | ||
| That's what I'm looking for. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's almost like I feel entitled to make Asian jokes because I have an Asian girlfriend kind of thing. | ||
| I don't think you're loud. | ||
| I do it with her all the time, but I don't do it in public. | ||
| Don't let anybody know. | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| It's like, oh, baby, you're my Yoko. | ||
| You're going to be my downfall. | ||
| You're the most hated person in all of music. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You used to be able to. | ||
| If you were married to an Asian woman 10, 15 years ago, it would be no problem. | ||
| I think if I have Asian babies, I'd be allowed to. | ||
| I don't even think so, man. | ||
| I don't even think so. | ||
| Well, because I'd have to deal with it every day kind of thing. | ||
| It's like, oh, well, I can, you know... | ||
| I understand the struggle kind of thing. | ||
| I'm trying to shield my kids. | ||
| Not good enough. | ||
| Yeah, you don't think so? | ||
| They don't come after you. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| Yeah, privileged white male, wealthy white male who's famous. | ||
| You don't have a chance. | ||
| I guess I know, right? | ||
| Check all those boxes too, buddy. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| It's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Privileged, blonde-haired, Aryan, male. | |
| Who grew up famous. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They're just warming their fingers up right now to write blogs. | ||
| They'll probably write a blog about you thinking that you can make Asian jokes. | ||
| I know, I know, I know. | ||
| Well, that was one of the things I really loved about her. | ||
| I remember when I made my first Asian crack. | ||
| And she kind of stopped. | ||
| And then she laughed. | ||
| She was like, I can't believe you said that. | ||
| What was it that you said? | ||
| I said, you know how I know you're Asian? | ||
| She goes, why? | ||
| I said, it's the shape of your eyes. | ||
| It's a dead giveaway. | ||
| And she couldn't stop. | ||
| She was like, that's funny. | ||
| You're allowed to say that. | ||
| You can't say it because of the way you drive, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, no, exactly. | ||
| That would be a real problem. | ||
| You have to have a really good sense of humor to accept that one. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And you have a special relationship where you guys talk to each other like that. | ||
| And it's like, baby, you are such a good driver. | ||
| She's like, shut up. | ||
| Would you stop with the Asian stuff? | ||
| Because she is an excellent driver. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, you could tell her, you're a really good driver for, you know, because of, you know, whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't even know why that's weird. | |
| Forget I even brought it up. | ||
| I'm so not racist, I don't even understand why that's weird. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Believe me, I'm pretty relentless. | ||
| But her family, they're down with, you know, it's... | ||
| I wouldn't even call it a teasing. | ||
| It's just like you're just telling jokes kind of thing. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Because I'm the only white boy, like, you know, whenever we visit the family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What brand of Asian? | |
| It's Thai Leotian. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's exotic. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Leotian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just got back from Thailand. | ||
| I was just there. | ||
| Yeah, first time ever. | ||
| That's where I caught my worm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what is this worm? | ||
| Was it under your skin? | ||
| No, I mean, like I said, it's a single-celled kind of one. | ||
| It's in your stomach. | ||
| Oh, it was in your stomach? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| How'd you know you had it? | ||
| I had... | ||
| A lot of fatigue. | ||
| And again, my movements weren't all that great. | ||
| Things like that. | ||
| And I remember waking up after about a good week or so of it. | ||
| We had just wrapped up. | ||
| We were there for five, six weeks or something. | ||
| So I was back in the States. | ||
| I was sleeping like 20 hours a day. | ||
| Only waking up to... | ||
| To shit, pretty much. | ||
| And then, yeah, no, actually, I remember waking up one of those days and I said, I'm pretty sure I have a worm. | ||
| Like, it actually just popped in my head. | ||
| I go, like, this is probably what a worm feels like. | ||
| It was almost kind of a mono-esque kind of, like, you know, fatigue, like that kind of thing. | ||
| And so, yeah, no, went there. | ||
| Some, like, heavy-duty antibiotics for, like, ten days. | ||
| How do they think you caught it? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Oh, you were on heavy-duty antibiotics for 10 days. | ||
| That's probably what caused your ulcer. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| The worm doesn't help, and then the heavy-duty antibiotics and all that stuff. | ||
| It's just kind of like, yeah. | ||
| And also, again, lifestyle kind of things. | ||
| I can't pound bourbon like I used to kind of thing. | ||
| That's kind of the idea. | ||
| I think I caught it from a cat. | ||
| Because there was actually like a... | ||
| We were in a... | ||
| It was Kopi P. That island. | ||
| And that's like cat island and stuff. | ||
| And we had these little bungalows. | ||
| And I remember I was like... | ||
| We were just kind of checking in. | ||
| And I pulled my bag up. | ||
| And this little kind of kitten just walked up. | ||
| And was just like... | ||
| Hey, can I come in? | ||
| And they're like, yeah, sure. | ||
| Come on in. | ||
| I've had a lot of cats in my life and stuff. | ||
| So yeah, that little sucker spent a lot of time and things like that. | ||
| Oh, that's probably exactly what it was. | ||
| Yeah, we'd sleep in the bed together and stuff like that. | ||
| I'd like zurbert... | ||
| You should get yourself tested for toxoplasma. | ||
| Toxoplasmosis. | ||
| I've actually had that before. | ||
| Well, you have it then. | ||
| You have it for life. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| No, I went through the symptoms. | ||
| I caught it from an undercooked piece of lamb, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's one of the four ways you can get it kind of thing. | ||
| No kidding. | ||
| Yeah, you can get it from cats, you can get it from undercooked lamb, you can get it through a blood transfusion, and I think the other one is a mother can transfer it to their baby. | ||
| Believe me, I went to the whole CDC website and everything. | ||
| And that was like mono kind of thing. | ||
| A lot of people catch it, but they just have the antibodies for it. | ||
| And I was a little rundown. | ||
| I was doing a play in London for like 10 months. | ||
| And also like kind of going out at night and things like that. | ||
| So I think my body was kind of just like not at its strongest. | ||
| And boom, it hit me like a ton of bricks. | ||
| Like it was that was like mono kind of thing. | ||
| And I was totally run down. | ||
| It's I got better after about like three months or so, but I didn't get 100% better for about a year. | ||
| There was a crazy article just written about toxo that it had some sort of impact on people who start up businesses, that more entrepreneurs have toxoplasmos. | ||
| It radically affects behavior, apparently. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I got it when I was, like, 20. Makes you more risk-taking, more... | ||
| Yeah, parasite found in cat poop has been linked to higher likelihood of entrepreneurial behavior in people who get infected. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| I just launched my own website recently and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| Yeah, so there you go. | ||
| I blame the toxoplasmosis. | ||
| Have you read up on it a lot? | ||
| Have you read any of Robert Sapolsky's stuff? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Not in a while. | ||
| Like I said, I caught this in like 2000, 2001 or something. | ||
| Robert Sapolsky, he's a professor at Stanford, and he's a biologist, and he specializes in toxoplasmosis and primate behavior and a lot of other different things. | ||
| He's a biologist, right? | ||
| Discipline? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But anyway, he's got some amazing talks on it. | ||
| You really should listen to it since you have it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's fascinating stuff. | ||
| They found a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, people with motorcycle crashes. | ||
| Oh, like so risk-taking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what you were saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know how it works? | ||
| It can only reproduce inside the cat's gut. | ||
| And it rewires the sexual reward system of a rat. | ||
| So it makes a rat horny when it smells cat piss. | ||
| So it completely changes the cat's sexual reward system. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, that makes sense. | ||
| Excuse me, the rats. | ||
| That's the evolutionary advantage, you know, for a cat to have it. | ||
| Well, far more than evolutionary advantage. | ||
| It actually tricks... | ||
| The cat into killing the rat and tricks the rat into being horny. | ||
| No, exactly. | ||
| To come around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, exactly. | |
| That's what I mean. | ||
| There's an evolutionary advantage to that because if you're a cat and you have toxoplasmosis, it's going to attract your prey to you. | ||
| No, it doesn't work that way. | ||
| The rat has to be infected. | ||
| When the rat's infected, then it smells cat urine and it gets horny. | ||
| When the cat's infected, it doesn't do anything to the cat. | ||
| It seems to have no change in the behavior of the cat, but then it gets to people. | ||
| So it only affects really the behavior of people and rats. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But yeah, no, I caught it. | ||
| I got the antibodies for it or whatever. | ||
| It's one of those like forever kind of things, but it doesn't affect me like at all. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| There's no health issue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How would you know? | |
| Oh, health issues. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| It was one of those things where I got sick for a couple of months, and then boom. | ||
| Like I said, it was like mono. | ||
| I think you said there's a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from countries that have high rates of toxoplasma infection. | ||
| I should get into soccer. | ||
| Well, it's just one of those things. | ||
| It changes the way people behave. | ||
| Makes them a little wilder. | ||
| So, you're saying you're interested in some toxoplasmosis? | ||
| I might already have it. | ||
| Yeah, toxo... | ||
| I should probably get checked. | ||
| Toxogandhi or whatever it is. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Toxoplasmosis. | ||
| So, what was this movie in Thailand? | ||
| It was my buddy, Seth Green. | ||
| He wrote and directed a movie. | ||
| And so... | ||
| He asked me to do something in it. | ||
| Because I don't really pursue acting at all kind of thing. | ||
| And I'm not saying it was a favor or anything like that. | ||
| But at the same time, it was like, yeah, sounds like fun. | ||
| So it's a cool cast. | ||
| It's like him. | ||
| He's in it. | ||
| Breckenmeyer's in it. | ||
| Brenda Song. | ||
| Me. | ||
| So do you just, like, do whatever you want these days and just occasionally act when it comes up? | ||
| Yeah, if it comes up, like, you know, if it's a cool, like, neat little gig or something like that, like, yeah, sure. | ||
| But, like I said, I don't pursue it in any kind of, like, any way. | ||
| Like, I don't have agents anymore and things like that. | ||
| Is that because you're just not interested? | ||
| Yeah, kind of not interested. | ||
| I don't really like the pursuit of it. | ||
| You know, like, yeah, like, what it takes to... | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I don't like being on the circuit kind of thing. | ||
| But yeah, I write a lot. | ||
| I paint a lot. | ||
| I just kind of always have some kind of projects. | ||
| And then also, like I said, we've got the website, bunnyears.com kind of thing. | ||
| And what is that? | ||
| It's a comedy website. | ||
| It's pretty much... | ||
| Like, you know how all these celebrities, especially, like, ladies, they have those lifestyle websites? | ||
| All of them? | ||
| Well, a lot of them do. | ||
| You know, like, yeah, like, Goop, you know, is one of them. | ||
| Yeah, the same one that I know of. | ||
| Is there other ones? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, it's, like, yeah, it's, uh... | ||
| The Goop one's the most egregious, though. | ||
| Yeah, that's the, well, that's the thing is that, so this is, this is, like, Goop meets The Onion. | ||
| Goop is like goop meets the onion. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| But accidentally. | ||
| They're telling you to put jade balls up your vagina. | ||
| I know, believe me. | ||
| We have an article. | ||
| I have sex on a beach in a hot... | ||
| Wait, hold on. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Just do that thing? | ||
| Oh, annoying. | ||
| How to have sex on a beach in a hot tub and other things that seemed fun as a virgin. | ||
| It's Hannah Michaels. | ||
| Or Hannah. | ||
| She's a fantastic writer. | ||
| We have a little scroll and things like that. | ||
| So you have a podcast as well? | ||
| Yeah, we do a podcast also. | ||
| And we're revving up some more video content and things. | ||
| So this is just a fun project for you. | ||
| Yeah, it's got a lot of really great writers, like comedy writers and stuff. | ||
| It's kind of just like, oh, there's an article about a jade egg. | ||
| Like, oh, I put a jade egg up my vagina and I catch a jade bird. | ||
| You know, like that kind of thing. | ||
| You know, what to do about your bird living in your vagina now. | ||
| It's like, you know what I mean? | ||
| We're kind of, like, taking the piss out of, like, you know, some of these kind of, like, lifestyle-y websites. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, it's like, um, it's like, you know, they'll have articles, like, on Goop about, like, oh, the best Cabernet is, like, for, like, $200 or something like that. | ||
| And it's like, ours is, like, the best bourbon's under, you know, $20, but then, like, it turns, like, the spelling gets worse and worse, and then it turns into a rant about your ex-girlfriend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Like, like, like, like, So, like, things like that. | ||
| It's some really good stuff. | ||
| Like I said, we have a really, really great team of people. | ||
| And, yeah, it's kind of, like I said, taking the piss out of things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you just decided to do this just for fun? | ||
| Yeah, I kind of had this idea. | ||
| It was kind of, like, kicking it around and so forth. | ||
| And then I felt like I kind of accumulated enough ideas. | ||
| And then, yeah, then I started kind of Voltroning it. | ||
| Like, just grabbing and assembling, you know, like, this project. | ||
| This giant robot. | ||
| You know, yeah? | ||
| So... | ||
| There you go. | ||
| It's a lot of fun. | ||
| It is funny. | ||
| Like I said, those articles are really well written. | ||
| We have one about... | ||
| Do you see Infinity War? | ||
| Avengers? | ||
| Yeah, the Avengers one. | ||
| No, I didn't see that. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Good? | ||
| Oh, it's fantastic. | ||
| It's fantastic. | ||
| But we made our own Infinity Gauntlet. | ||
| And what happens, spoiler alert, is a lot of the people kind of just vanish. | ||
| They kind of just die. | ||
| They turn into dust. | ||
| In the movie? | ||
| In the movie at the end. | ||
| So when you start reading the article, all of a sudden, all the words just start vanishing. | ||
| And then you have to go back, and it's like, yeah, even the letters. | ||
| We actually had a, we did one where it was a ransom letter. | ||
| One of our writers, she, her father is actually the therapist for Goop, like the actual psychiatrist, the official one. | ||
| Goop has their own therapist? | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But is it like a weekly advice therapist, or is it just like therapy just for being on Goop? | ||
| Like, I know you're here because you're a mess, so here, just read this. | ||
| Just read this. | ||
| We're here for you, hugs. | ||
| So we got pictures of him bound and gagged, and it's like, Dear Goop, we kidnapped your therapist. | ||
| You can only get him back if you give us your seven hot tips for facial washes for this summer. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| Good on them. | ||
| They responded, and they actually sent us over a list of, like, here are the hot kind of tips. | ||
| I was like, you know, good for them. | ||
| They had a sense of humor about the whole thing. | ||
| I think they have to. | ||
| They're called Goop. | ||
| I know, yeah. | ||
| We thought about naming ours Poog. | ||
| They'd probably sue. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I was like, no, no, no. | ||
| So you're basically financially set from all those movies. | ||
| I do okay for myself. | ||
| But do you just put that money away and just live off the interest? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty much. | |
| Pretty much. | ||
| And yeah, I'm able to... | ||
| Kind of live the life that my circumstances afforded me. | ||
| Like I said, I'm very, very, very lucky. | ||
| Lots of weird things happen to kids all the time, all around the world, every day. | ||
| I have something to show for it. | ||
| So it's nice. | ||
| I can live... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| My buddy Jack, he goes... | ||
| That's a weird way to describe a movie career. | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| Lots of weird things happen to kids. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| But I got some money out of it. | ||
| Look, I'm not working like the diamond mines. | ||
| I'm not a child soldier. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I came out the other end. | ||
| And I have something to show for it. | ||
| I do feel blessed every morning kind of thing. | ||
| So you're happy that it all worked out that way? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you could go back and do it again, would you do it the same way? | ||
| Knowing what I know now? | ||
| I mean, probably. | ||
| Yeah, I'd probably be even more charming. | ||
| I'd do it just better. | ||
| Well, of course you would, right? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Go back and do it now. | ||
| Can you imagine if you could just have your brain in a little kid's body? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I would kill it. | ||
| Just run shit in grade school. | ||
| I would so kill it in school. | ||
| Oh, psychological warfare. | ||
| They wouldn't know what's coming. | ||
| Those little fucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Twist their little brains up in knots. | ||
| Oh, exactly. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that's what Going on 13 was, right? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Isn't that a Jennifer Gardner movie? | ||
| I have no idea what any Jennifer Gardner movies are. | ||
| Well, you know, now you do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 30 going on 13. Is that like a brain swap one? | ||
| Kind of, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Her adult brain goes into her when she's 13! | |
| Freaky Friday! | ||
| So it's kind of a freaky Friday with some time travel, I guess. | ||
| So you're going to Netflix it tonight, aren't you? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I can tell. | ||
| I can see it. | ||
| You've been thoroughly charmed by Jennifer Gardner, I can tell. | ||
| That's an interesting life you have, then. | ||
| So you just kind of do whatever you want. | ||
| Yeah, my friend Jack says I'm a man of leisure. | ||
| That's the way he describes my life and lifestyle. | ||
| That's a good way to describe it. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| I kind of spent some time just jumping around Europe or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, but you lived in Paris, you were saying, for a while? | ||
| Yeah, lived there for... | ||
| A number of years. | ||
| I mean, I still have my place there. | ||
| But since, like, 2013, something like that? | ||
| It's only in the last year I've been kind of spending more time in the States. | ||
| What was it that brought you to Paris? | ||
| Well, the food sucks, the wine's terrible, and the women are ugly. | ||
| But otherwise, it's fantastic. | ||
| No, it was an agreeable lifestyle. | ||
| I had a bunch of friends out there. | ||
| They were always asking me, When are you going to move to Paris and when are you going to learn French? | ||
| Your friends in Paris were asking you that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was there just kind of like, I was just kind of jumping around a little bit. | ||
| And so I thought about it for a second and I went, you know what? | ||
| How's next week? | ||
| So I said, I'm going to leave my bags here. | ||
| I'm going to fly back to New York. | ||
| I'm going to put my affairs in order. | ||
| And I said, I'll be back next week. | ||
| I said, I'm ready to live here. | ||
| I mean, I realized that if I could pick up and just move to France on a whim, and it wouldn't affect anyone's life or it wouldn't hurt anybody, I'd be remiss if I didn't. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How many times am I like, I couldn't do that now? | ||
| But I could do it back then, kind of thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So I was like, yeah, just fuck it. | ||
| I'm going to live in Paris now. | ||
| And it was great. | ||
| A lot of people have done that. | ||
| Johnny Depp lived there for a little while. | ||
| I know Richard Belzer lived there for a while. | ||
| No, it's a special place. | ||
| What's special about it? | ||
| I mean, again, food and wine is fantastic. | ||
| The girls are pretty. | ||
| It's the leisurely kind of lifestyle a little bit. | ||
| I like their eating habits. | ||
| It's like a light breakfast and it kind of gets heavier as you kind of go along in the day. | ||
| You kind of eat later, which is kind of like, you know, like, oh, you're American. | ||
| You must want to eat dinner at like 8. What time are they eating? | ||
| Like 10. 10 p.m.? | ||
| Yeah, about 10 p.m. | ||
| is like, you know, kind of a, you know, an ideal like dinner kind of time. | ||
| They don't like to work hard either, right? | ||
| I mean, no, I mean, they work. | ||
| I mean, I think, you know. | ||
| But they like to take their time. | ||
| Yeah, everything is like, yeah, it's like, you know, I'll set up a card game for like 3.30, and 3.30 means like 5. You know, that's just the way, like, everyone's kind of always late, but it's no big deal. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I remember one time kind of like, oh gosh, like, you know, just like, where are they? | ||
| And then I realized, I'm like, wait, what is the hurry? | ||
| For real, what is the hurry? | ||
| It's not like I have other plans. | ||
| My plan is to hang out with you guys. | ||
| And all of a sudden, stress would just melt away. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, you can just be more leisurely and stuff about things out there. | ||
| And everyone's like, like I said, it's really cool. | ||
| They like Americans out there. | ||
| That's a misconception that they don't like. | ||
| They don't like the loud, obnoxious Americans with the, you know, Mickey Mouse t-shirt and the fanny packs and stuff. | ||
| Well, we don't either. | ||
| Did you say fanny packs? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I did. | ||
| I have one. | ||
| That's right, that's right. | ||
| They're wonderful. | ||
| It's a great way to keep your stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you got a nice, like, leather one. | ||
| I use inside pockets. | ||
| I got inside pockets. | ||
| That's my purse. | ||
| Well, that works too. | ||
| I also have a satchel that I travel around with also. | ||
| Oh, a man purse. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, exactly. | ||
| Satchel. | ||
| Yeah, you know what? | ||
| It's actually, I do call it my purse, like, you know, in day-to-day kind of thing, because it's like someone's like, oh, it's a satchel or it's a murse. | ||
| I'm like, no, no, no. | ||
| It's a purse. | ||
| No illusions here, guys. | ||
| Isn't it funny that you would be insulted or more positive about it if it had a different sound coming out of your mouth? | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| And it's like, no, no, no, it's a purse. | ||
| It's the exact same thing. | ||
| It's a purse. | ||
| Yeah, it's a purse. | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| How come we can't have purses? | ||
| No one's gonna do that. | ||
| There's a few bold souls that will put on a fanny pack and walk out into public. | ||
| But there's not a lot of people that will just actually wear... | ||
| I like how you just called yourself bold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a joke. | |
| But there's not a lot of people that would wear... | ||
| An actual purse, like a Louis Vuitton purse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm secure enough in myself and everything. | ||
| I can pull off the purse look. | ||
| I mean, I wear fingernail polish and, you know, I have a participation badge. | ||
| You have like fingernail stripes. | ||
| Not all polish, but like a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, I actually do do it on purpose. | ||
| They do make my fingers a little too feminine if it's done perfectly. | ||
| But I'm actually really good. | ||
| When I did that movie Party Monster, I learned a lot of fun makeup-y kind of things. | ||
| Ways to make your fingers look like they're two weeks old. | ||
| I could have painted these yesterday and they would look like this kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always just liked nail polish, what can I say? | ||
| But yeah, I'm secure enough to wear a purse or something like that. | ||
| I have no issue with that. | ||
| You're allowed to wear a backpack, though. | ||
| That's why it's weird. | ||
| What's this, Mickey Rourke? | ||
| Yeah, he's got a... | ||
| What are those called? | ||
| A clutch? | ||
| Yeah, that looks more like a clutch. | ||
| Yeah, but he's so eccentric. | ||
| I met him this past weekend. | ||
| He had a crazy cowboy. | ||
| We're looking at a picture of Mickey Rourke. | ||
| He had a crazy cowboy hat on, and he's just... | ||
| Yeah, he seems like a kook. | ||
| I mean, you can see that picture, that belt buckle. | ||
| Like, that's something. | ||
| Good on him. | ||
| Yeah, and he's just an odd duck all around. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| For some reason it reminds me, it was an old Onion article, and it was one of my favorite headlines, and it was, Johnny Depp found to be 90% scarves. | ||
| LAUGHTER Yeah, he got way scarf-y after the whole pirate movie thing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He went straight scarf for the rest of his life kind of thing. | ||
| He really committed to that scarf thing. | ||
| When you're a beautiful man like that, it's an odd transition to being a 55-year-old. | ||
| What's up with Johnny Depp lately? | ||
| Not good things. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| Actually, just this morning... | ||
| They delayed or canceled. | ||
| He has a Notorious B.I.G. movie coming out that he's in with Forrest Whitaker. | ||
| And it was supposed to come out next month. | ||
| And they just pulled it from the schedule. | ||
| And they haven't even said that it's ever going to come out or something. | ||
| And even just looking at pictures of him, there's something off about him. | ||
| He's hanging out with Doug Stanhope. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| He used to be really great. | ||
| Stanhope, what'd you do to him, you fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't even know who that is. | ||
| Doug Stanhope? | ||
| One of the best stand-up comedians ever. | ||
| Ah, there you go. | ||
| I'm more of a Stephen Wright fan myself. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Yeah, I love Stephen Wright. | ||
| But I think Johnny's just... | ||
| He hit that weird spot where you're just too fucking famous. | ||
| You can't go anywhere. | ||
| Where you were when you were little, I'm sure, but you can coast now, right? | ||
| You can go places. | ||
| Yeah, like how rich is rich enough? | ||
| Like, dude, like, yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| It's not just that, but he spends... | ||
| He owns 14 houses. | ||
| He owns an island. | ||
| Millions and millions of dollars worth of art. | ||
| Didn't he spend like $5 million shooting Hunter S. Thompson's ashes out of a cannon? | ||
| They asked him, didn't you spend a million dollars? | ||
| He goes, no, of course not. | ||
| I spent $3 million. | ||
| That's what they asked him about his wine habit. | ||
| They said, your attorney said that your wine habit is $30,000 a month. | ||
| And he goes, that's an insult. | ||
| It's far more than that. | ||
| It's far, far more than that. | ||
| Alright, cool. | ||
| I guess he has to maintain that lifestyle that he wants for himself. | ||
| That's what he's doing. | ||
| That's his life. | ||
| His life is spending all that money. | ||
| His whole life is doing movies. | ||
| That sometimes happens to people, though, also when they're involved in laborious projects that they're not really interested in. | ||
| When you're doing something all day, and I say this as a guy who hosted Fear Factor, when you're doing something all day that you don't really enjoy doing while you're doing it, you're like, okay, time to go to work. | ||
| I mean, I was very thankful to have the job, don't get me wrong, but the reality is it was not enjoyed. | ||
| It wasn't a fruitful endeavor. | ||
| It wasn't like working for the UFC or doing stand-up comedy or even doing a podcast. | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't a passion project. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| So when you do something like that, like people on bad sitcoms in particular, they spend all their fucking money. | ||
| They go crazy. | ||
| Because the only thing that they look forward to is, what am I going to do with this money? | ||
| What's the reward at least? | ||
| I'm going to buy a Ferrari. | ||
| I'm going to buy a mansion. | ||
| I'm going to buy an island. | ||
| And I think that's what Johnny got into. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't see myself doing a sitcom or a television show kind of thing. | ||
| What about a good sitcom? | ||
| A good one, I'd do. | ||
| Newsradio is a fantastic show. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| That must have been a fruitful endeavor. | ||
| It's the reason why I never did another one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, exactly. | ||
| You don't want to ruin that experience. | ||
| Every other one that came along was like, this is shit. | ||
| Well, they pursued me for Big Bang Theory. | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| You got lucky. | ||
| You escaped that. | ||
| And I said, like, no. | ||
| I said, like, nah. | ||
| Because it was kind of like the way the pitch was. | ||
| It was kind of just like, all right, these two, like, astrophysicist nerds. | ||
| And then a pretty girl lives with them. | ||
| Yoinks! | ||
| Like, you know, and like that would... | ||
| That was the pitch! | ||
| And they were like, oh, we're going to get some real physicists to do the math. | ||
| And I said, yeah, no, I'm cool, thanks. | ||
| And then they came back at me again, and I said, no, no, no, again, flattered, but no. | ||
| And then they came back at me again, and even my manager was twisting my arm. | ||
| Come on, I want the piece of this, my colleague! | ||
| Listen, I'd have hundreds of millions of dollars right now if I did that gig. | ||
| At the same time, I'd be bashing my head against the wall. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I mean, I think that's what Johnny Depp's doing. | ||
| I mean, he can't really be into those pirate movies. | ||
| Yeah, no, he's just, he's interested. | ||
| And that's the thing, is that, like, he wasn't always like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But right now, it's, like, all about the money right now. | ||
| Well, this is the thing. | ||
| I read an article, an interview with him, it was about two decades ago, and he was talking about, you know, he was in his 30s, and he was doing a lot of weird, obscure movies. | ||
| Like, was that movie Dead Man? | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Jermush. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He did a lot of weird shit. | ||
| And he said, this is kind of what I really like, and I'm not Blockbuster Boy, which is what he said. | ||
| Which is so ironic. | ||
| Which is so ironic. | ||
| Because now he's fucking Blockbuster Boy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, he goes, yeah, if I'm ever part of a franchise, like Just Shoot Me or something like that. | ||
| And it's just like, yeah, they're pulling up these weird, like, old quotes. | ||
| It's like the George Lucas, like, when he testified before Congress about the colorization of movies and talking about how movies are part of our heritage and, you know, they shouldn't be tampered with. | ||
| And then he goes back, like, 25 years later, he's going back and redoing his movies. | ||
| It's like, yeah, no, like, once you put art out there... | ||
| Leave it alone. | ||
| Leave it alone. | ||
| It's not yours anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's the thing. | ||
| Like, once you show, like, your paintings, like, that's not yours anymore. | ||
| That's the world's. | ||
| That's an interesting way of looking at it. | ||
| You don't think it's theirs anymore. | ||
| Imagine if Leonardo da Vinci, like, just all of a sudden came back into existence right now, and he wants to change the Mona Lisa. | ||
| Oh, she's fat! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's like, I kind of didn't get the, you know, I didn't get the smile right. | |
| I don't like her eyes! | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at her hair! | |
| It's all pulled back and shit! | ||
| I want to see it! | ||
| So should he be able to change it? | ||
| I want to give her some fucking jewelry. | ||
| I never finish the eyebrows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to give her big tits and I want to push them together. | |
| Come on, let me try. | ||
| Come on, come on. | ||
| Come on, it's my fucking painting. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Leonardo da Vinci is a modern Italian. | ||
| Yeah, I know, I love it. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| I want big tits with fucking glitter. | ||
| It's like he's living on Mulberry Street in Little Italy. | ||
| Hey, pizza! | ||
| Yeah, I like fake lips. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| Give me some Claims Casino. | ||
| Hey, this fucking broad. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Look at her now. | ||
| Who was it that proposed that? | ||
| Who was talking about that theory that some people believe that Leonardo da Vinci, that Mona Lisa was him in drag? | ||
| Yeah, that it was a self-portrait. | ||
| Who was it? | ||
| Callan said that when I was bringing it up. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Callan said that the other day. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen those things. | ||
| Pull up a picture of him. | ||
| This is what we never did. | ||
| We only pulled up a picture of the photo. | ||
| We never pulled up a picture of him and the photo. | ||
| That's fascinating if that really was the case. | ||
| If he just decided to paint himself in drag. | ||
| Well, they found all kinds of things in that painting. | ||
| Like, in her, like... | ||
| Like, her iris of her eyes, there's actually, like, letters in there and stuff. | ||
| Like, really, really tiny, like straight Illuminati. | ||
| Fucking demon comes right out of the ground. | ||
| I had a dream that demons were real. | ||
| Last night, I just remembered it. | ||
| I just had a dream where I was... | ||
| Look how stupid am I? I'm almost 51 years old. | ||
| Dreams are dreams, you know? | ||
| Yeah, but that's a weak fucking thought. | ||
| I had a dream the other day where I was the biggest dick in the world. | ||
| Like, I was actually just being really rude to everybody. | ||
| Here's a drawing of him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's like looking in a mirror. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nailed it, guys. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, you know, you can kind of size anything into anything. | ||
| Well, I don't know about that one. | ||
| Yeah, the head's a little taller. | ||
| It might have gotten confused with that, you know, the drawing of the man in the circle in the square? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a self-portrait, supposedly. | ||
| Well, you know, maybe he just imagined himself as a woman. | ||
| I mean, that's not necessarily him in drag. | ||
| Like, I've imagined that before. | ||
| What would happen if I was born a girl? | ||
| What would I look like? | ||
| Would I look the same? | ||
| I just stare at myself naked in the mirror every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I finger back myself, bro. | |
| I just go, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right here, right here. | |
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| We did it. | ||
| Look what I got. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got a little one of these for you. | |
| Look what I got for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I dress like a dude just to fuck with people. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at my titties! | ||
| With Michelangelo, I always used to get them confused with Leonardo da Vinci. | ||
| Leonardo da Vinci was the one that invented a bunch of shit, though. | ||
| Yeah, he was the renaissance man. | ||
| He was also kind of an engineer. | ||
| He actually made, or at least, it was like a tank. | ||
| On a plane. | ||
| An airplane as well. | ||
| He actually designed weapons of war also. | ||
| It wasn't just airplanes or at least gliders and helicopters and so forth. | ||
| But yeah, look at all the different shit that he came up with. | ||
| Yeah, that's his tank. | ||
| Wow, so it looks like a spaceship. | ||
| And you can see there's kind of holes for guns all around it. | ||
| And it's like wheels. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| I'm not sure if they actually built it or not. | ||
| That's like a kill everybody tank. | ||
| They're so nondescript with where those bullets are going. | ||
| They're going in 360. 360 degrees. | ||
| He's spinning that thing around. | ||
| But yeah, he or she designed weapons of war. | ||
| But those were cannons, it must have been, right? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| That's what it kind of looks like. | ||
| They didn't have really guns back then, right? | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| There's in that design. | ||
| Oh, so they're all cannons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| That is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| He was a freak. | ||
| He was rad, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was awesome. | |
| I was hanging out with that guy? | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Just, you know, draw me like one of your French girls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| A weird guy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Michelangelo, it's the Sistine Chapel, and he's actually more of a sculptor than a painter, funny enough. | ||
| Look at that crossbow he invented. | ||
| Yeah, but it's like a giant one. | ||
| Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with. | ||
| Look at the one, the multi-gun. | ||
| He almost kind of invented a machine gun. | ||
| The one left of that. | ||
| That's a bunch of gun barrels. | ||
| It's a bunch of gun barrels. | ||
| It's like the first design for a machine gun, essentially. | ||
| It shoots in multiple directions. | ||
| I would really love to talk to an extraordinary person from back then. | ||
| It must have been so different. | ||
| Hey, give me some Calam's Casino. | ||
| Hey, look at this fucking guy. | ||
| Look at the bird. | ||
| Look at this airplane thing he made. | ||
| Yeah, like a glider. | ||
| Like to talk to Picasso or to talk to Da Vinci or any of these people from... | ||
| Exceptional people from a long time ago. | ||
| Picasso was my favorite, at least when it comes to his paintings and stuff. | ||
| But I heard he wasn't necessarily the coolest person to be around kind of thing. | ||
| What was the deal with him? | ||
| Crazy, angry artist. | ||
| He was very aware that he was Picasso. | ||
| He was already the most famous painter in the world and he knew it kind of thing. | ||
| He actually used to walk around. | ||
| He didn't carry money. | ||
| Or a wallet. | ||
| He'd just carry a pad. | ||
| So if you want to get a pack of cigarettes, he'd kind of just like, and there you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| So he never had to pay for anything because he was Picasso. | ||
| He'd just scribble shit? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And listen, would you accept that trade? | ||
| A pack of cigarettes for Picasso? | ||
| Yeah, I'd take that trade. | ||
| So are those around? | ||
| Yeah, he actually has a lot of little sketches all around. | ||
| They're actually quite affordable, at least in terms of owning a Picasso. | ||
| He was very prolific and just a lot of ink drawings and so forth. | ||
| I remember there was the SNL sketch. | ||
| It was like Lovitz was playing Picasso. | ||
| I think he went around kind of just doing anything he wanted. | ||
| And he's like, because I'm Picasso! | ||
| And he was just being a jerk to everybody. | ||
| You can imagine Lovitz doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I'm Picasso! | |
| That's a good Lovitz impression. | ||
| Oh, thanks, thanks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| He was on news radio for a whole season. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| After Phil. | ||
| Yeah, I hung out with him. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| Yeah, I've always, like, every time I've, like, bumped into him. | ||
| Very, very, very nice. | ||
| Very nice person. | ||
| Yeah, really, really sweet. | ||
| I ran into him with my buddy Seth Green. | ||
| We went to the Pee Wee Herman Broadway show that they had a bunch of years back. | ||
| And yeah, I ran into Lovett's there backstage. | ||
| So it's like, yeah, just like me, Seth Green, Pee Wee Herman, and John Lovett's. | ||
| And I'm like, this is quite a little get-together. | ||
| This This is great. | ||
| This is a great table. | ||
| Lovitz was doing stand-up for a while. | ||
| I don't think he's doing it anymore because I don't see him anymore. | ||
| But a few years back, he was doing a lot of stand-up. | ||
| He even bought a club. | ||
| He bought the John Lovitz Comedy Club in Universal. | ||
| Universal is the worst comedy club design of all time. | ||
| Well, you know, it's weird that he was actually able to find a club that was already named after him. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| He bought a place. | ||
| It used to be the House of Blues. | ||
| No, it was BB King's Club. | ||
| It was BB King's Blues Club. | ||
| And he turned it into the John Lovitz thing. | ||
| And he was... | ||
| Wow, that was really interesting. | ||
| I'm remembering that I saw... | ||
| Sean Penn had that older brother, that big brother that died. | ||
| Chris Penn. | ||
| I saw that guy there play the harmonica. | ||
| Hammered. | ||
| Went on stage and played the harmonica. | ||
| Look at me, I'm Chris Penn. | ||
| Yeah, it was some weird Hollywood thing, and I was like, wow, imagine that. | ||
| You're so famous. | ||
| You just jump on stage at a blues club and play the harmonica, and everybody's happier there. | ||
| Like, how weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was hoping it was going to be like Sean Penn jumped up there and did his tight five. | ||
| That would be strange. | ||
| John Mayer does stand up. | ||
| I've heard that. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| So if you're on stage here, B.B. King's place, if this was a stage, there would be a balcony, but it would be above you, way up there, right above you. | ||
| So you'd have to look up to see the people that are watching. | ||
| So they're basically looking straight down on the top of your head. | ||
| Worst idea for a comic club design ever. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't seem right. | ||
| Not the worst when you're seeing music. | ||
| You don't necessarily have to be as connected to the person's face. | ||
| I've been to a place where you were literally right over the band. | ||
| And that was kind of neat. | ||
| Watching the drummer from overhead. | ||
| It's kind of neat. | ||
| Just watching somebody with a bald spot on the top of their head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| Yeah, that's really close. | ||
| Strange. | ||
| Hey, look at me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at me, being funny at my own club. | |
| I'm Picasso! | ||
| I imagined it was taller than that. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| My memory is not that good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're getting older. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, it's just getting weird because it's got too much shit in there. | ||
| My brain has too much information. | ||
| It's like you're running out of room almost. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I'm deleting space on my hard drive for new things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then like, seventh grade? | ||
| I went to seventh grade? | ||
| Tell me more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, geez. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| Let's get rid of that seventh grade. | ||
| We don't need that anymore. | ||
| Who needs cursive? | ||
| Am I right? | ||
| I wonder what John's doing. | ||
| I wonder why he stopped doing stand-up. | ||
| Because he was actually pretty funny. | ||
| And it was weird because he was already famous. | ||
| And one of the things was like, I had tried to encourage Phil Hartman to do stand-up several times because he would do stand-up where he would warm up We're good to | ||
| of all time on that show. | ||
| Yeah, he was amazing. | ||
| And so he was thinking about, what is this? | ||
| Two shows tonight. | ||
| Yeah, I don't even know. | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| Huntsville. | ||
| Huntsville, Alabama. | ||
| Yeah, August 4th. | ||
| He's still doing stand-up. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Look at him out there. | ||
| Look at him with those glasses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| He looks happy. | ||
| He looks happy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got 14 likes. | |
| I'm Jon Lovitz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at all the likes. | |
| Look at all my likes. | ||
| Yeah, so he's still doing it. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, good for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for him. | |
| Like I said, I've always liked him. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| When I did SNL, I think it was the first season where he had just left, I think. | ||
| Because I did it pretty much, probably if I had to pick a season, it would have been the one I did. | ||
| Because you still had Carvey and you still had, you know, Hartman and Victoria Jackson, the whole kind of group. | ||
| I forgot about Victoria Jackson. | ||
| She was fucking hilarious. | ||
| What happened to her? | ||
| She's a hardcore conservative now. | ||
| What?! | ||
| Yeah, huge, like, right-wing. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Right-winger. | ||
| She's put on a little weight, you know, but haven't we all? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And, like, no, she's actually a hardcore conservative now. | ||
| Like, she shouts it from the mountaintops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| What was she like when you met her? | ||
| She was fine. | ||
| I mean, listen. | ||
| Was she conservative back then? | ||
| I was busy doing the show kind of thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because it's a lot of work. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Not only that, I had to do it without cue cards because my father didn't want me to use cue cards. | ||
| So I had to memorize all that stuff. | ||
| The fuck, Dad? | ||
| Plus the skits I didn't even make into the show. | ||
| So I had to memorize skits that didn't even end up in the show. | ||
| What? | ||
| What kind of shit is that, Dad? | ||
| Like I said, I had a good memory. | ||
| And he didn't want me reading. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| You can see it when people are reading. | ||
| And he didn't want me doing that. | ||
| So no cue card. | ||
| But also that means the other actors... | ||
| No cue card for them either. | ||
| Yeah, of course not. | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| I'm sure my father made a lot of friends that weekend. | ||
| Well, that's fucked up. | ||
| How can he dictate whether or not the other actors get cue cards? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because apparently he could. | ||
| Victoria Jackson's a hardcore conservative. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so strange to me. | |
| Like I said, she shouts it from the mountaintops. | ||
| Like she's active. | ||
| So it was that whole kind of group, that kind of late 80s group. | ||
| But then also it was Mike Myers' second season. | ||
| It was Schneider, Sandler, Chris Rock. | ||
| It was that kind of overlap here. | ||
| So it actually got a really good group. | ||
| No, that's awesome. | ||
| That was neat. | ||
| It's always weird when someone from a TV show gets really political. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| Like Chuck Woolery from The Love Connection. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| That guy is... | ||
| He's so fucking crazy conservative. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah, his Twitter feed. | ||
| I go to his Twitter feed every now and then just to see what crazy old men conservatives are really interested in. | ||
| How often does he use the term fake news? | ||
| Fake news and the libs... | ||
| And the Dems. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the Dems and the Libs. | ||
| The alt-rate. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he's got a radio show. | ||
| We Make Sense, one of those things. | ||
| No nonsense. | ||
| Blunt-forced truth. | ||
| Blunt Force Truth. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Blunt Force Truth. | ||
| You damn liberals. | ||
| That sounds like a band from Brooklyn. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| 3D printed firearms are a concern for crime, but criminals will do bad things no matter what. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Find out more by listening to Blunt Force Truth. | |
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hashtag BFT. Wow, he's pushing that now. | |
| We should listen to some of that, just for he-he's and ha-ha's. | ||
| Yeah, I know, right? | ||
| You should also follow James Woods. | ||
| Oh goodness, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It says it right there, right next to you. | ||
| If you like this, you like that. | ||
| You like old dudes. | ||
| Old dudes who want to put up giant gates. | ||
| And they're going to make it solar, too. | ||
| What happened to actor Peter Fonda? | ||
| He's super conservative, too, now, isn't he? | ||
| I don't know that one. | ||
| Urges Democrats to commit voter fraud. | ||
| Oh, the opposite. | ||
| No, I think it's the opposite, yeah. | ||
| He's a super, super Democrat. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Oh, Rosie. | ||
| Turns feud with Trump into activism. | ||
| Bitter Rosie. | ||
| All caps. | ||
| Trump rallies aren't real. | ||
| His supporters are paid. | ||
| Blood force truth. | ||
| Blood force truth. | ||
| Just look at you. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| That's some journalistic integrity from Chuck Woolery. | ||
| That's his whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His whole thing, though. | |
| His whole thing is that now. | ||
| I think he lives in Texas or something. | ||
| I think he escaped California and all the crazy libs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. I forget the name of that show. | |
| I remember I used to like it, the one on the Game Show Network. | ||
| The one with all the boxes, and it was like letters and stuff. | ||
| Fuck, I forget the name of it. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| He hosted so many shows. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I only remember the Love Connection. | ||
| He had like 10 maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, the Game Show Network, yeah, like when that launched. | ||
| They're like, yeah, we can get Chuck Woolery. | ||
| So, why not? | ||
| Well, I'll go on if you let me talk about the damn libs. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, exactly. | ||
| You know, Trebek was busy. | ||
| He's already busy on his own thing, but we can get Woolery. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| How weird. | ||
| And what was the guy? | ||
| Scrabble. | ||
| Or Lingo too. | ||
| Lingo. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| That's the show. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Welcome back. | ||
| I've got a tie and cue cards. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's an E. Oh, look at that. | ||
| Look at those two dorks. | ||
| I'm wearing sunglasses inside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm on TV. So much judgment. | |
| Dude, look at those assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fun. | |
| It's fun to do. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's fun to be judgy. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I actually kind of need to pee. | ||
| Is that okay? | ||
| Yeah, go pee, man. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| Are we live? | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| I'm going to go pee, guys. | ||
| Just go pee, dude. | ||
| We'll talk some shit about Chuck Woolery while you're gone. | ||
| Chuck Woolery, Naturally Stoned. | ||
| Go vamp. | ||
| He did a show called Naturally Stoned? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| He has a what? | ||
| He has a Sloan. | ||
| A song called Naturally Stoned? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Naturally Stoned, an American reality television show that starred American game show host Chuck Woolery. | ||
| Six episodes aired in Game Show Network in 2003 between June 15th and July 27th. | ||
| Series centered around Woolery and his family, specifically his personal life and his work as a host of Game Show Network's original game show, Lingo. | ||
| The show... | ||
| Place strain on both Woolery's workload and his marriage. | ||
| It says the series title is derived from his top 40 song from his band, The Avant-Garde. | ||
| What? | ||
| He had a sh- What? | ||
| What? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What? | ||
| He had a band? | ||
| Chuck Woolery had a band? | ||
| American Psychedelic Pop Group. | ||
| Get the fuck. | ||
| 1967. I gotta play this. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You gotta find that song. | ||
| A psychedelic pop group? | ||
| Oh my goodness, Chuck. | ||
| Naturally Stoned. | ||
| Psychedelics, but natural. | ||
| He had a pop band. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The song was Naturally Stoned. | ||
| It was like a Mamas and the Papas-esque, kind of like 60s kind of song. | ||
| I think he probably was trying to do it on the natch, though. | ||
| Okay, let's listen to some of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| That's him right there. | ||
| Naturally Stoned. | ||
| Honey and Gall. | ||
| Who's honey? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta pull this out of you. | |
| You gotta pull it off of YouTube, otherwise we'll get pulled. | ||
| So the people listening on YouTube, you gotta go Google avant-garde, naturally stoned. | ||
| The people that are listening on Google Play and iTunes and all that shit, you can hear this. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's very like incense and peppermints kind of thing. | ||
| It's not terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Like, yeah. | ||
| Okay, it just got terrible. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Sounds groovy, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I'm naturally stoned. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's stoned. | |
| Naturally stoned. | ||
| And there's Chuck. | ||
| Wow, look at Chuck up front. | ||
| We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. He's got wooden beads on. | ||
| Is that wooden beads around his neck, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They both do. | ||
| They're like, look, guys, we got beads on. | ||
| We're cool. | ||
| I feel like I'm at a party on Hate Ashbery or something like that in the late 60s. | ||
| I want to find the guy in the back with his hand on his hip. | ||
| See what the fuck he's up to these days. | ||
| Maybe he's the other guy. | ||
| That's Pat Sajak. | ||
| Pat Sajak. | ||
| Honey and Gall. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| I think that's the name of the album. | ||
| Oh, that's the name of the album. | ||
| Oh, I don't know, actually. | ||
| No, it's probably the B-side. | ||
| Elkin Bubba Fowler. | ||
| Elkin's got a duck hunting show on the Sportsman's Channel now. | ||
| This guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I'm just kidding. | |
| I'm kidding. | ||
| What is he doing now? | ||
| There's a Leonard Cohen thing on there. | ||
| Leonard Cohen album or something. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The avant-garde. | ||
| How strange. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| I think Blunt Force Truth is a better name for a band than the avant-garde. | ||
| Yeah, it is, right? | ||
| Yeah, tonight at the pit. | ||
| Blunt Force Truth. | ||
| You don't want to know the truth, but I'm going to tell you. | ||
| It's blunt. | ||
| Blunt Force. | ||
| What a weird name for a show. | ||
| Blunt Force Truth. | ||
| Spitting hot truth right in your face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Spitting it. | |
| Just spitting it. | ||
| Spitting hot fire that you don't want to hear. | ||
| Top shit. | ||
| Hot fire. | ||
| Wake up, kids. | ||
| I always loved that line from Chappelle. | ||
| It was like, ah, you know, I spit hot fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it was just like, as if there's cold fire. | |
| I'm spitting hot fire right in your ear. | ||
| Cold fusion. | ||
| That's so strange, that whole thing, that he was in a band. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| The avant-garde, too. | ||
| Gosh, that is so, like, of that era. | ||
| It's so funny when those old dudes get, like, real... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at that. | |
| Chuck Lurie from 1974. Look at that hair. | ||
| Check out the Burns. | ||
| Very Jay Leno-esque in that photo. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Look at him here. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| Let me hear him sing. | ||
| Here he goes. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| I mean, he definitely has a nice voice. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a bad voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I've heard this song before. | |
| This is a cover. | ||
| This is a cover. | ||
| You make me so very happy. | ||
| Yeah, this is a cover. | ||
| Okay, kill this before I die. | ||
| How do you go from the avant-garde to hosting the dating game or whatever? | ||
| Because this isn't good. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| That's a weird transition. | ||
| Well, he's a handsome guy, probably a good talker, and his agent was like, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm telling you, the music is not your thing. | ||
| Hosting. | ||
| I'm going to give you the blunt force truth. | ||
| You don't want to hear it, but I'm going to tell you. | ||
| Game show host. | ||
| He's like, I like that phrase. | ||
| You've got to look. | ||
| You got a look, Chuck. | ||
| The look is game show host. | ||
| You got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have it. | |
| Listen, how about you being on the game show network? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think about that, fella? | |
| Does anyone actually ever aspire to be a game show host? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I know, but when you're a kid, you know what I mean? | ||
| You want to be an astronaut or whatever. | ||
| There's got to be someone who watches Price is Right. | ||
| Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell, he wanted to be a game show host. | ||
| But he's not a real person. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| I'm just making conversation. | ||
| Right now, there's some kid right now whose fucking dream you just shattered. | ||
| Macaulay Culkin just mocked my dream! | ||
| No! | ||
| You piece of shit! | ||
| I was asking a question. | ||
| It was a legit question. | ||
| Like, you know, like, yeah, do people aspire to be game show hosts? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Because I know in the UK, like, host is a thing that people aspire to be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, I ask somebody, what are you doing? | ||
| He's like, I host. | ||
| I'm like, what does that mean? | ||
| They're usually a panelist on a show. | ||
| Television presenter. | ||
| Yeah, a presenter. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yes, a presenter. | ||
| That song actually gave them so much of a hit that they were a one-hit wonder then, and he had to become a truck driver to supplement his income. | ||
| He then signed on as a solo artist, had five more songs on his own. | ||
| Didn't obviously work out that well. | ||
| Then he became the first host of Wheel of Fortune in 1975. What? | ||
| There you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What do you know? | ||
| Pat St. Jack's been doing it since 1981. That's crazy. | ||
| So how long did he do it for? | ||
| Six years. | ||
| He did Wheel of Fortune for six years? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jeez. | |
| What year did it start? | ||
| 75. So it was a year after that, after that thing we just watched. | ||
| So it was one year later. | ||
| I hope he still had that hair, that mane of hair of his. | ||
| He still does, I think. | ||
| Salt and pepper. | ||
| Yeah, those little sideburns, the mutton chops. | ||
| Old school ones, go down to your job. | ||
| Salary dispute is the reason why it wasn't hosted. | ||
| Fucked up, Chuck. | ||
| And then did it go straight to Sajak? | ||
| Imagine if he fucking turns it on and it's still on the air. | ||
| He's like, still! | ||
| Fucking still! | ||
| I could've been prison money by now! | ||
| My agent's a piece of shit! | ||
| That's the blunt force truth. | ||
| You wanna know the blunt force truth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I fucked up with my contract negotiations. | |
| I have regrets. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| Maybe he didn't want to do it anymore. | ||
| Maybe that's what it was. | ||
| Contract negotiations. | ||
| But then he went straight into the dating game or whatever. | ||
| It's a better show. | ||
| Get to see chicks. | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| They're trying to get laid. | ||
| Yeah, I guess so. | ||
| That's what you got. | ||
| You got chicks and dudes trying to get laid. | ||
| You're a facilitator. | ||
| You're putting love together. | ||
| I mean, you know who got the most action was Richard Dawson. | ||
| Family Feud. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He always kissed every lady on the lips. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Even the ones that were underage. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie with Richard Dawson? | ||
| The guy who was in Hogan's Heroes with him. | ||
| What was that fucking movie? | ||
| Oh, like... | ||
| The movie about that guy... | ||
| That's not Super 8. Something like that. | ||
| 8mm? | ||
| Yeah, it's one of those. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
16mm? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The movie where... | ||
| What was that guy's name? | ||
| He was apparently... | ||
| He was the guy who was the star of Hogan's Heroes, and then he just became the freak of the week. | ||
| He just became a... | ||
| He was homemade porno all the time. | ||
| That's all he did. | ||
| That's all he did. | ||
| And then they think the guy he did porn with killed him. | ||
| I believe his murder was never solved, but there was some sort of extenuating circumstances that connected... | ||
| His porn buddy. | ||
| The guy who was in the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think they... | |
| Maybe that was what they implied in the movie. | ||
| I think that was what it was. | ||
| Well, if it was in a movie, it has to be true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Yeah, you know it. | ||
| They don't ever lie, man. | ||
| True crime. | ||
| That's the thing about movies. | ||
| When they do a story about your life, they don't change shit. | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| They literally get every word right. | ||
| Otherwise, they would lose credibility. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, there's movies where they change shit. | ||
| You're like, why did you change that? | ||
| They just decide. | ||
| Historical things. | ||
| They always say, oh, it's creative license, or we have to condense things because a person's life is so long, and things like that. | ||
| Do you remember that movie about, the movie with, it was with, what's his name from The Office? | ||
| Carell? | ||
| Yeah, Steve Carell. | ||
| He played that... | ||
| Foxcatcher? | ||
| Foxcatcher. | ||
| Yeah, we were both thinking the same thing. | ||
| I was just waiting to get the description, because I was going to say, Foxcatcher? | ||
| And he'd be like, no, not that. | ||
| That movie's based on two very famous wrestlers, Dave Schultz and Mark Schultz. | ||
| And in the movie, they put a ton of bullshit in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, I mean, a lot of it. | ||
| Mark was furious when the movie came out. | ||
| Yeah, I remember reading that, yeah. | ||
| And he went on a crazy, wild Twitter storm. | ||
| But then, after the end of the movie, there's a historic moment in that, In that movie, that they just completely made up. | ||
| Like, he fought this guy named Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC. I mean, it's sports history. | ||
| That sounds like a WWE wrestler. | ||
| I know it does. | ||
| He could have been a WWE wrestler. | ||
| But Big Daddy Goodrich, who's, you know, really a pioneer in MMA fighting, was this... | ||
| Big fucking jack black guy who wore a gi. | ||
| He wore a traditional karate gi into the octagon. | ||
| In the movie, they have him fighting a white guy. | ||
| A Russian guy. | ||
| Whitewashing. | ||
| They just decided, they don't want to see black guys. | ||
| This is America. | ||
| We have to fight the Russians. | ||
| I was like, why would you change the race and the name of the guy he fought? | ||
| Yeah, that just seems like weird and like petty almost. | ||
| No, you know what it is? | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| It's just greasy producers who think they're smart. | ||
| You've been around them. | ||
| You know those fucks. | ||
| I have no idea what you're talking about. | ||
| Tell me more. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| I'm going to give you the blunt force truth on greasy producers. | ||
| Right in your face. | ||
| Spitting hot fire right in your ear. | ||
| Right in your face, you fucking libs. | ||
| They just decide they're smarter than everybody, and they know better. | ||
| They know how to change history and make it a better show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I said, it was the 80s, so yes, it has to be against a Russian kind of thing. | ||
| It was in the 80s. | ||
| Well, I'm saying it takes place. | ||
| Doesn't it take place? | ||
| No, it takes place in the 90s. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| 90s, yeah. | ||
| I think he fought in 1995 or something like that. | ||
| Because I know Kurt Angle, like I know, trained in that facility, the fox catcher. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of guys did. | ||
| He's talked about that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| How crazy that guy was just decided to set up some wrestling things so he could get weird with these dudes. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| He wanted a bunch of strong, sweaty men rubbing up against each other. | ||
| I bet you those wrestlers when they're training, I bet you whoever they're training with knows their body better than their wives. | ||
| It's a really intimate thing. | ||
| I bet you they know every curve of their training. | ||
| Hey, you losing weight here, Tom? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| When I cinch this grip around your waist, it just feels like a little easier now. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| That is an intimate sport. | ||
| You're putting on some shoulder muscle, buddy. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this up here. | |
| Are you a little sore there? | ||
| You know, sciatica? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something's twitching in your buttocks. | |
| Yeah, remember when he was, like, in the movie? | ||
| Steve Carell was so good in that movie. | ||
| I loved him in that, yeah. | ||
| God, he played that creep so well, because he played it like a guy who's, like, a loose cannon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Creepy, weird, loose cannon. | ||
| The small, you know, the way he kind of, like, his movements and his speech. | ||
| Like, it was good. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| Remember when he decided he was going to coach? | ||
| And coach the wrestlers and show them how to do certain moves? | ||
| And everybody just sort of tolerated it? | ||
| Yeah, they're kind of like, oh, just let him have this one. | ||
| So strange. | ||
| But what a great scene. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| That scene was so good. | ||
| But now I know you lied at the end. | ||
| So I know you lied at the end of the movie. | ||
| So now I go, well, did you make up that scene too? | ||
| It starts losing credibility. | ||
| I did watch a doc about that. | ||
| I think there's a 30 for 30. About the Foxcatcher Institute or whatever it was. | ||
| Well, there was a lot of footage on that guy and Carell fucking nailed it. | ||
| He nailed that guy. | ||
| John DuPont. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a strange, strange guy that guy was. | |
| Mr. DuPont. | ||
| That's an unfortunate thing about those wrestlers. | ||
| There's no real professional venue other than fighting if they want to go into MMA. And he was a coach at Brigham Young, Mark Schultz was, and he fought one time in the UFC and then just stayed... | ||
| I don't think they wanted him doing it. | ||
| I think that was part of the dispute. | ||
| I believe it was Brigham Young. | ||
| The school that he was coaching for was like, listen, you want to coach here, you can't be cage fighting. | ||
| Especially early MMA was not respected at all. | ||
| I remember John McCain trying to... | ||
| It was a blood sport. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what that was about? | ||
| That was about Budweiser. | ||
| Because Budweiser sponsored boxing, and MMA was doing very well with pay-per-view back then, and they wanted to stop it in its tracks, and Budweiser was a big part of that, and Budweiser sort of got behind him. | ||
| It's all greasy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the boxing world is so greasy, because I'm a fight fan. | ||
| At least, like, boxing, I was always kind of raised that way. | ||
| I do follow it. | ||
| I've only recently kind of gotten into the MMA kind of stuff. | ||
| I've gone to some shows. | ||
| Going to see any sporting event is always great live. | ||
| Do you go to live boxing matches, though? | ||
| I haven't in a while, but yeah. | ||
| I used to go to... | ||
| I saw Holyfield Moore 1. Did you really? | ||
| Yeah, I saw Holyfield Bow 1. Wow! | ||
| Things like that. | ||
| During that kind of peak. | ||
| That 90s era. | ||
| Did a lot of those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those were great. | ||
| But that stuff is so greasy. | ||
| I remember the first Holyfield-Lewis, how that ended in a draw so they could double up their money and stuff. | ||
| I don't remember that fight. | ||
| I don't remember Holyfield versus Lewis at all. | ||
| Yeah, they fought twice. | ||
| Did Lewis win the first time? | ||
| No, draw the first time. | ||
| But should he have won? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, Loser was a great boxer, but at the same time, I just remember being driven nuts, like, where he was, like, where his, like, belt, like, up to here. | ||
| Like, it was, like, way past his belly button. | ||
| And he's already, like, 6'6 already. | ||
| And it's kind of just like, yeah, like, he's wearing that thing too high. | ||
| Like, you know, like, he's getting away with murder. | ||
| Like, you know, kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah, it should have, you know, yeah. | ||
| I'm surprised he got away with that, you know, that equipment. | ||
| But most referees will tell you, you can hit him here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But, you know, like I said, it was kind of just, it felt like an unfair advantage, especially for a guy who was like, like I said, 6'6". | ||
| Already enormous. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Like, you know, so it's even higher than normal. | ||
| And that would be a big target for somebody who's like, only like, you know. | ||
| So you follow boxing today, though? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm really looking forward. | ||
| You know, I want to see Wilder versus Joshua. | ||
| Look, that's what I want to see. | ||
| I don't think that's going to happen for a while. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tyson Fury, though, he's kind of back in the ring. | ||
| Tyson Fury might fuck them all up. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They're all big guys, too. | ||
| They are big guys, but Tyson Fury looks fucking fantastic. | ||
| There's some footage on his Instagram of him doing pad work, and he's fighting really soon. | ||
| He just fought a warm-up, some journeyman kind of thing. | ||
| But he's got a bout coming up. | ||
| Tyson does. | ||
| I think it just happened. | ||
| Or does he have another one coming up? | ||
| I'm pretty sure he's got another one. | ||
| I'm a big Deontay Wilder fan. | ||
| I am too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a wild man. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Unorthodox. | ||
| And man, the way he fucking slugs. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Vicious, vicious power. | ||
| Oh yeah, I watched some of those highlight reels. | ||
| He's very dangerous. | ||
| Give that guy a seizure. | ||
| There was that one where, boom, the guy lands and he's flopping around like a fish. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He hits fucking hard. | ||
| Because he's like 6'7". | ||
| He's a big dude. | ||
| He is. | ||
| Long, too. | ||
| Like, crazy leverage. | ||
| Yeah, because he really snaps his right. | ||
| Like, boom. | ||
| Yeah, the recent one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Came back from losing that fight and then stopped Ortiz. | ||
| I thought it showed that he's got heart. | ||
| He's got a pretty okay chin. | ||
| He knows how to recover. | ||
| Who's your favorite fighter to watch? | ||
| Right now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I said, I really do love watching Wilder, like right now. | ||
| Triple G's good. | ||
| Yeah, I love Triple G. Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He might be like an all-timer kind of thing. | ||
| I just wish he had more comp. | ||
| Look how good this guy looks. | ||
| Six foot nine. | ||
| Give me some volume on this so I can hear this. | ||
| And he's thick, too. | ||
| But he's showing how slick he is, because he's not just big. | ||
| He's big and long, but... | ||
| He toyed with Klitschko. | ||
| Saturday the 18th. | ||
| He toyed with Klitschko. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Dude, he's fucking good. | ||
| And he gives people fits. | ||
| Yeah, the new rumor is supposed to be Wilder vs. | ||
| Fury. | ||
| Now that Joshua talks of not happening. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Tyson Fury could fuck up that whole thing, man. | ||
| So it's the 18th of August. | ||
| And they're both a little unorthodox, too, so it'd be actually interesting to see him square off with Wilder. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| And they're both super long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That would be very interesting. | ||
| It'd probably be the first time Wilder's finding somebody who's bigger than him. | ||
| Not just bigger, but super slick. | ||
| He's going to give them fits. | ||
| I mean, look, Wilder can knock out anybody, but Tyson Fury, he'll give you fits. | ||
| Because Wilder is like, what, like 37-0 with 36 knockouts. | ||
| He's only gone the distance once. | ||
| I know, it's crazy. | ||
| That's a crazy record. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's Tyson-esque, like young Tyson-esque, but they're completely different fighters. | ||
| Young Tyson was just so tight, and Wilder, he puts his hands down. | ||
| He wants to counterpunch. | ||
| That's his whole thing. | ||
| You know what's interesting is people still don't believe in him. | ||
| I had heard that the Anthony Joshua fight, I would think that that would be a pretty evenly matched fight. | ||
| People are like, no, no, Joshua's heads above everybody else. | ||
| I'm not so sure. | ||
| He's taking on some good challenges, though. | ||
| Joshua can go. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Don't get me wrong, but he got knocked down by Klitschko. | ||
| Tyson Fury toured with Klitschko. | ||
| Yeah, putting his hands behind his back. | ||
| Maybe it was not the same as prepared as Klitschko. | ||
| You know, fighters are different for every fighter. | ||
| Yeah, and Klitschko's aging, obviously, at that point. | ||
| Yeah, but I just think that that style, that Tyson Fury style, avoid that shit like measles. | ||
| Get away. | ||
| Yeah, there's a reason why Joshua doesn't want to fight Wilder or Fury. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because also, he is the top draw right now. | ||
| Like, he can sell out, like, you know, like, 40-50,000 in his home country. | ||
| Whereas, like, Wilder, like, in his home state, he fights a lot in Alabama. | ||
| Like, it's like 10,000 or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, you know, so Joshua's a bigger draw. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I think Wilder's becoming a bigger draw nationally now. | ||
| I think that's also one of the things with boxing. | ||
| They're always trying to figure out, when do we make this fight? | ||
| Do we make it now, or do we wait a couple of months? | ||
| Do we wait a year? | ||
| Two undefeated champions fight each other. | ||
| That doesn't really happen that often, especially in the heavyweight division. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It could be something that's really special. | ||
| Someone could fuck up and lose. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Especially. | ||
| It could be Mayweather-Pacquiao all over again, where it's like, it happened, but it happened too late. | ||
| Right, exactly, yeah. | ||
| So, stay the fuck away from Tyson Fury, kids. | ||
| What did you think about the McGregor-Mayweather fight? | ||
| He did much better than I thought he was going to do. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| But I think... | ||
| That Mayweather was probably wanting to wear him out and so allowed him to... | ||
| But he did catch Mayweather with a very clean left hand. | ||
| He was rabbit punching the whole time. | ||
| That was driving me insane. | ||
| Just kept on punching the back of his head. | ||
| I'm surprised that the ref... | ||
| He was hammer fisting him too. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| I'm surprised the ref... | ||
| Let him get away with murder. | ||
| I think he wanted to frustrate him. | ||
| I think he wanted to frustrate Mayweather and get Mayweather to try to slug with him. | ||
| To open up. | ||
| Yeah, because Mayweather's defense is super tight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fantastic. | |
| And no, he came in there... | ||
| Mayweather fought a perfect kind of fight. | ||
| He's like, I'm going to let this guy gas himself out. | ||
| And that's exactly what he did. | ||
| Because Mayweather's not a knockout artist, but he knocked him out. | ||
| He definitely stopped him. | ||
| But Conor's not known for his cardio. | ||
| He's a fast twitch guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it was when they opened up the books for that fight, it was a thousand to one for McGregor to win by decision. | ||
| Listen, I almost put a grand on that just anyway, just on principle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just won a million dollars. | |
| I mean, there's a reason why it was 1,001, but I kind of want to just sit there and turn to my friends like, I think I just won a million dollars. | ||
| Do you know how crazy that would be to win a million dollars by putting down a thousand? | ||
| Like a thousand dollar bet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| There's been some crazy, but those bets are nuts. | ||
| Like, will it make it out of the first round? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| By decision. | ||
| They even have, like, disqualification bets. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, exactly. | ||
| I used to play a lot of cards. | ||
| I love prop bets. | ||
| Just, like, you know, in that moment, it's like, I bet you I can guess within, you know, $100 how many chips are in front of you right now. | ||
| Like, you know, that kind of stuff. | ||
| Or it's like, alright, like, you know... | ||
| Give me a 1 in 10 chance that you pull out a dollar bill from your pocket and whatever the last number is. | ||
| If I get it right, you can pay me 10 to 1. Just weird prop bets. | ||
| Players kind of go nuts with that kind of stuff. | ||
| Well, gambling junkies do, right? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Look, I remember I was playing cards at this one club and this guy just was sports betting like crazy. | ||
| But now it's like 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning. | ||
| And he's looking down and he goes, does anyone know anything about cricket? | ||
| And, like, that was the only game that was going on. | ||
| There was a cricket game in India. | ||
| And he was like, yeah, I'm gonna, like, lay... | ||
| I was like, dude, you actually have a problem. | ||
| Like, that's, like, you know, yeah. | ||
| Like, you have to, like... | ||
| Like, that's a problem! | ||
| You're betting on cricket! | ||
| What are you doing, man? | ||
| It's two in the morning! | ||
| Anyone know anything about cricket? | ||
| Well, that's the crazy thing about those sports books. | ||
| You look up and watch that shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, here's a bunch of horses! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Who's gonna win? | ||
| I've actually, I have a buddy who does, like, is into the races and stuff like that. | ||
| And, like, he streams it from, like, all... | ||
| It is kind of fun. | ||
| Horse racing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of like, but you kind of just randomly, like, just like, I'll, sure, number eight. | ||
| And then just like, you know, come on, eight. | ||
| I knew a guy who got banned for life from chariot races. | ||
| For trying to rig a race. | ||
| His horse was winning and his horse wasn't supposed to win. | ||
| He's literally standing up, pulling back on the reins as his horse was winning. | ||
| He's like, come on! | ||
| He's trying to slow him down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quit it! | |
| Quit it! | ||
| Cut that shit! | ||
| Cut that shit off! | ||
| His name was George the Greek. | ||
| That's what he used to call him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Guy from Pool Hall in White Plains, New York. | ||
| Yeah, the Greek is like, yeah, because there was Jimmy the Greek back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, he was always trying to, like, he was always telling us. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a little vape. | ||
| Oh, no, go ahead. | ||
| He was always telling us that he was going to win the lawsuit. | ||
| I got a counselor. | ||
| Yeah, Kunstler was his lawyer. | ||
| I got Kunstler working on the case. | ||
| I got this fucking thing. | ||
| I got him locked down. | ||
| Chariot racing. | ||
| How do you get into chariot racing? | ||
| You gotta be an asshole. | ||
| I mean, obviously you need... | ||
| If it's a sport... | ||
| But how do you fall into that line of work? | ||
| Or, again, when you're a kid, you're going, when I grow up, I want to be a chariot racer. | ||
| Maybe you watch a lot of that movie with... | ||
| Kirk Douglas, didn't they? | ||
| Spartacus. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. | ||
| Just like imagining himself with a bow and arrow in the back. | ||
| Yeah, with those crazy wrist plates. | ||
| Wear those big-ass bracelets. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Some Greaves. | ||
| That was a crazy movie because if you look at the difference between Spartacus and 300, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you look at Spartacus, they had normal bodies, like guys that just ate toast and didn't work out. | ||
| Back in the Roman days, I'd be considered tall. | ||
| I'm 5'7". | ||
| A lot of those soldiers and Spartans and a lot of the Romans, they were like 5'5". | ||
| Because they probably had no food. | ||
| Yeah, there was a lot of malnutrition. | ||
| I was going to say malnutrition, but it wasn't straight malnutrition, it just wasn't good nutrition kind of thing. | ||
| A lot of salt pork, that kind of thing. | ||
| A lot of weird flatbreads. | ||
| Not a lot of greens. | ||
| A lot of just grain and salted beef. | ||
| It was probably really hard to get good food back then. | ||
| As you're growing up, you probably were always malnourished. | ||
| And no one was fat either, right? | ||
| It's very rare that people were fat. | ||
| Yeah, people were rarely fat. | ||
| Well, that's why it's like a fat lady was considered really, really sexy. | ||
| Because it showed that she was well fed. | ||
| She's got some cash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| That's why you see the Aphrodite and stuff like that. | ||
| It's all very, very curvy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they went through a whole era where those Rubenesque women, that was the thing. | ||
| That's what everybody wanted. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I want to get me a big gal. | ||
| Some cushion for the pushing. | ||
| Now we're in danger, right now. | ||
| We're treading in dangerous waters, even talking about that. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have photos of Kirk Douglas? | |
| Find Kirk Douglas and Spartacus. | ||
| I was trying to find one comparing them both. | ||
| Sporadacus. | ||
| When you were in Paris, did you know... | ||
| Oh, there he is. | ||
| Ah, look at that. | ||
| That looks like a guy who's literally never swung a sword. | ||
| Yeah, he looks... | ||
| He already looks old. | ||
| He already looks old there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Well, I bet he was probably in his 30s because people back then just aged worse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck was going on. | ||
| They didn't age good. | ||
| It was the liquor and the cigarettes. | ||
| Cigarettes and the liquor. | ||
| Yeah, but you smoke cigarettes and you look fantastic. | ||
| Oh, thanks. | ||
| You look great. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Yeah, let's take a guess. | ||
| Let's take a guess how old he was during Spartacus. | ||
| That was in like the early... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he was a hair under 40. I think you're right. | |
| I would go with 37. What is he? | ||
| 44. Oh! | ||
| So he kind of looks like 44. Yeah. | ||
| But not at today's 44. Yeah. | ||
| Like Daniel Craig's jacked as fuck. | ||
| He's probably like 44. How old is Daniel Craig right now? | ||
| James Bond? | ||
| Doesn't he have some crow's feet or whatever? | ||
| Yeah, but he's jacked. | ||
| Yeah, he's a thick dude. | ||
| What is he? | ||
| He's 50. 50. Wow. | ||
| Jacked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| He's 50? | ||
| That's right, motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Looking good. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
| 50. Look at him. | ||
| You're a big dude. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Jacked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You're a big dude, but I can take you. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That looks like fucking James Bond to me. | ||
| Not all these other pussies. | ||
| He's my all-time favorite James Bond by far. | ||
| That's a real James Bond. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I like his steely resolve. | ||
| My other favorite James Bond is a potential James Bond. | ||
| I don't know if he's a James Bond yet. | ||
| It's Idris Elba. | ||
| Idris Elba. | ||
| Because he's jacked and because white people are mad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a Fantastic Four movie, and they got Michael B. Jordan. | ||
| It's like, everyone just calm down. | ||
| Look at that right there. | ||
| Oh, good lord. | ||
| Look at his body. | ||
| Barf. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's already kind of got a little... | ||
| He's got the beginning of Mantis. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he's not bad. | ||
| Believe me, that's better than my body. | ||
| He's not fat. | ||
| It's just that he doesn't look like a guy who fought with a fucking sword for a living. | ||
| Yeah, but that's probably more accurate to what actual Romans look like. | ||
| No, not if they were an actual gladiator. | ||
| If they were an actual gladiator, they had to swing swords around. | ||
| Look at that arm. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That arm ain't carrying no swords. | ||
| It's just lean muscle. | ||
| It's lean muscle. | ||
| Yeah, it's wiry, bro. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that one. | |
| He's got some veins coming out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jacked. | |
| Bro, he's jacked. | ||
| Yeah, this is Kubrick. | ||
| How is Kubrick? | ||
| People always forget. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Spartacus was Kubrick. | |
| Spartacus was Kubrick. | ||
| Confirm that, but yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he hated it, too. | ||
| He hated the movie? | ||
| Yeah, it's probably one of those things he had to do. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| 1960. Yeah, geez. | ||
| God, I loved his movies. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, this is actually one of the weaker ones, really. | ||
| Did you ever read The Shining? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| Because Stephen King did not like it. | ||
| Yeah, the movie. | ||
| He did not like the movie. | ||
| Because they did a TV movie in the early 2000s. | ||
| With the guy from Wings. | ||
| Stephen Webber. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he just decided that, you know, like... | ||
| Kubrick had made Jack Nicholson crazy already. | ||
| And he didn't like that. | ||
| He wanted a guy that was turned crazy by the house. | ||
| But how the fuck are you gonna do that in a two hour movie? | ||
| Do you know what's not scary? | ||
| Hedges. | ||
| There's a thing. | ||
| I bet you if you read it or whatever, it probably seems creepy when he's talking about how the hedges are moving when he's not looking and stuff like that. | ||
| But when you physically see it, it's not scary at all. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Things like that just don't visually translate. | ||
| But it worked in the book. | ||
| The book's amazing. | ||
| It's a big-ass book, too. | ||
| Oh, it's Stephen King. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's a big-ass book. | ||
| Maybe I'm confusing it with the Dark Tower series. | ||
| There's also, the stand is really thick, too. | ||
| That's a dictionary. | ||
| It's a paperweight. | ||
| He was, I mean, still is, but so fucking prolific. | ||
| There's a thing with the mazes. | ||
| It's like, yeah, the mazes keeps on changing. | ||
| The one that you see in the model there, and the one that exists, and there's also a map on the outside of it, all three of those are different. | ||
| Can you climb those bushes and get a look from the top? | ||
| I think it's kind of more like stems. | ||
| I don't think they're like thick branches. | ||
| Just hack your way through. | ||
| Just walk straight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| What are you, a pussy? | ||
| Scared of bushes? | ||
| What are you, scared of a bush? | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Well, the hedges that are moving, you know, in the book. | ||
| They're monsters. | ||
| They're demon hedges. | ||
| It's kind of like, you know, these like, like Edward Scissorhand-esque, like kind of like, you know, it's a kitten. | ||
| It's like, and then it's like, oh, it's moving when you're not looking. | ||
| Like, oh, that's an adorable cat hedge. | ||
| That place, that's supposed to be Estes Park? | ||
| Is that what it's supposed to be? | ||
| That area? | ||
| It's supposed to be somewhere in Colorado that's like that. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think that's where they filmed it. | ||
| Or at least the outdoor kind of stuff. | ||
| They filmed some of it, and I think they filmed some of it also in upstate New York. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then they did a studio. | ||
| I think it was in London. | ||
| Usually Kubrick worked out of London. | ||
| But yeah, the Overlook Hotel. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Actually, it's not called the Overlook in real life, but yeah, it's in Colorado. | ||
| That was a fucking great movie. | ||
| So creepy and weird. | ||
| He did so many of them. | ||
| Remember Eyes Wide Shut? | ||
| That was another one. | ||
| That's his last movie. | ||
| A lot of people didn't like that one. | ||
| I thought that was fascinating. | ||
| I'm a little soft on it. | ||
| At least when it comes to... | ||
| It's still great, but I put it lower on my Kubrick list. | ||
| Clockwork Orange, 2001. You name it. | ||
| During his spare time, he used to do complex mathematics. | ||
| That sounds about right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That seems right. | ||
| He was like a legit genius. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has archives in... | ||
| I think it's in London. | ||
| But there's actually the Stanley Kubrick library. | ||
| And you actually can kind of go through his scripts and his notes and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| There's a whole archive that's supposed to be kind of pretty neat. | ||
| Do you see yourself over making movies? | ||
| Like producing or directing or writing something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| If it peaks my fancy kind of thing. | ||
| Peaks your fancy. | ||
| Yeah, if it peaks my fancy. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| I'd be open to doing something like that. | ||
| It's a matter of the right kind of thing. | ||
| Timing and so forth. | ||
| Right now wouldn't be ideal, but a year from now, yeah, it probably might be a little freer. | ||
| That kind of thing. | ||
| Hopefully the company will be moving on its own by that kind of thing. | ||
| Here's something I wanted to ask you about Paris. | ||
| This is one thing that I was only there for a short period of time, but one of the things I was shocked by is that All those people are eating bread, and they're all eating cheese and wine, and no one's fat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Again, it's kind of the way that you kind of eat, how you have a light breakfast but a heavy dinner. | ||
| I think that has to do with it. | ||
| And also, you can't call yourself a boulangerie, like a bakery, unless you make everything from scratch. | ||
| Like, so everything's made from scratch. | ||
| And, like, the thing is, is that, like, your, like, baguette will be stale in 24 hours. | ||
| Same thing with the croissants. | ||
| Like, there's no preservatives in anything. | ||
| Like, in general, out there, like, all your food spoils faster, like, in your fridge. | ||
| Because, like, yeah, it's, you know, like, it's fresh. | ||
| There's no hormones and things or steroids. | ||
| He was an oncologist from Paris and he lived in America and he went back to France and brought back cheese because the cheese that he could get over there was not homogenized or pasteurized and it's literally illegal here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he would have to tuck it in his carry-on or in his checked luggage and just hope that no one would check the cheese. | ||
| He would check out that wheel of cheese. | ||
| Literally, he brought back a wheel of cheese. | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| And when he served it to us, it was like precious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This precious cheese. | ||
| I mean, they make raw cheese in America now, but this was... | ||
| But it's, like, specific and, like, yeah, like, you have to, like, you know, it's boutique-y kind of thing. | ||
| It's a very boutique, you know, niche kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, see the thing with, like, their eggs. | ||
| Like, they don't refrigerate their eggs over there because it's done in a different kind of process. | ||
| Like, I think... | ||
| I forget what it is. | ||
| Well, I have eggs that I get from my chickens. | ||
| I don't refrigerate them. | ||
| Yeah, you know, that's the first thing. | ||
| I refrigerate them after a while. | ||
| Yeah, you can wash them, but I think in America, I think we, like... | ||
| I think we hit them with super hot water. | ||
| There's a different process than they have in Europe. | ||
| So in general, you're not supposed to refrigerate your eggs there. | ||
| We're in the States you are supposed to. | ||
| And it's just a different process of how things are done. | ||
| Yeah, the preservative thing makes a lot of sense. | ||
| The preservatives, and I think there's also different shit that's in wheat, and there's different kinds of wheat. | ||
| They have heirloom wheat, wheat that's like older wheat before we started messing with it. | ||
| And also their cattle and things like that, it's grass-fed, whereas in the States it's corn-fed. | ||
| And also I just noticed in general out there, I was eating less red meat. | ||
| You have a lot more chicken and a lot of pig. | ||
| Lots of ham, that kind of thing. | ||
| Ham is a very, whether it's dried or whatever. | ||
| Those cured legs when they just take that thin slice off the cured leg. | ||
| I'm actually going there, going back in a couple of days. | ||
| Are you going to stay again? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Because I'm going out to Berlin. | ||
| I'm doing this thing. | ||
| It's called the People Festival. | ||
| I'm looking out there. | ||
| I'm going to hang out with some friends. | ||
| People Festival? | ||
| It's called the People Festival. | ||
| I mean, it's a music fest. | ||
| And I know, like, a good, like, 12 or 20, like, of the acts. | ||
| Like, they're, like, my friends and stuff. | ||
| So I get to, like, go to Berlin, and I'm going to be, like, the roving reporter, pretty much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| I found myself, you know, something to do when I'm out there. | ||
| For many years? | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be, like, podcasting and so forth. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Because there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of, like, cool musicians doing it, so... | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| So yeah, I'm kind of flying from LA to New York, spending the night, because I hate taking super long flights, and then New York to Paris. | ||
| You are a man of leisure. | ||
| Yeah, and then Paris to Berlin. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Even when you do that, you tilt your head sideways and throw your hand back. | ||
| A man of leisure. | ||
| I travel at my whim. | ||
| I should have a Manhattan in my hand. | ||
| Oh, shall we book you a straight flight to Europe? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| That's too much time in the air. | ||
| I like to puddle jump. | ||
| I want to go to New York. | ||
| I'll go to New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perhaps I'll shop. | |
| Perhaps I'll shop in Paris. | ||
| In Paris. | ||
| Go to a cafe. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Maybe I'll take the channel to London just for a day trip. | ||
| Just for a day trip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have a fantastic t-shirt shot that I love. | |
| Now, one of the things that people in America that don't go to Paris are worried about is people hear horror stories about the immigration nightmare in Paris. | ||
| And that Paris is somehow or another turning into this criminal cesspool because of all these immigrants. | ||
| And it's very dangerous there now. | ||
| Hence those shootings that you heard about in the... | ||
| It is actually one of the most ethnically diverse cities in all of Europe. | ||
| You see more black people in the first five minutes of being there than you do in the whole of Oslo or Berlin or something like that. | ||
| Certainly Oslo, right? | ||
| It's culturally and ethnically diverse. | ||
| When it comes to all those shootings and things like that, they're guilty of being landlocked. | ||
| You know, the UK can kind of control the, you know, the flow of traffic, you know, people kind of coming in and out because they're an island nation. | ||
| Whereas like with the kind of open borders that you can, you know, you can buy a gun in Greece and take the train, you know, like all the way over, like, you know, especially when it comes to like the old, like the Balkans or whatever. | ||
| Like, you know, there's a lot of leftover Soviet era, like Kalashnikovs. | ||
| That's why they always have like these Russian made like guns and so forth. | ||
| And yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| It's easier for somewhere like the UK to lock off their borders, whereas France, like I said, it's guilty of being landlocked, essentially. | ||
| So you think it's more difficult to secure? | ||
| Is that the blunt force truth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, blunt force truth. | |
| BFT, bro. | ||
| And that's the BFT. Yeah, there you go. | ||
| People should start using that. | ||
| The BFT? That's the hashtag BFT, bitch. | ||
| BFT. Got some BFT coming your way. | ||
| It's like, mmm, delicious. | ||
| But the big fear, like the one thing that people are... | ||
| Terrified of was that this was going to happen to the rest of Europe that like what what's happened to Paris and Paris is falling apart and you can go through some of the ghetto areas in Paris and You know there was a someone filmed something where a Jewish man walked through these Muslim ghettos and they're screaming out I'm all these anti-semitic things I have not seen that you know, but you know at my neighborhoods are only a couple blocks away from like the Jewish kind of neighborhood That's a good spot to live Heck yeah. | ||
| It's always good to live near the Jewish folk. | ||
| Heck yeah. | ||
| They keep it together. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a New Yorker, so I'm like, I'm already half Jewish, you know? | ||
| I was in New York recently when we were in Brooklyn, and I was with Ari, my friend Ari, who grew up Orthodox Jew, and he took us through this neighborhood where they have like the crazy Frisbee fur hats on, and all the curls. | ||
| Yeah, and the payas. | ||
| And the fucking, the yarn hanging off their belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| All that weird shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And, you know, he was basically saying, like, these people, like, they are here, but they're not here. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| They have no idea who Kim Kardashian is. | ||
| They don't listen to any of the music. | ||
| They all stick together. | ||
| They intermarry. | ||
| They marry inside their community. | ||
| I was just going to say get married young and look at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, it's so interesting seeing them all walking around the streets. | ||
| And they have sex through the sheets. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| Some of them do, right? | ||
| Isn't that Hasidic, though? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But yeah, there's just a hole in the sheet. | ||
| Just throw a sheet over and just perfectly frame the vagina right there. | ||
| I'll take care of it from here. | ||
| They don't want to touch naked women, right? | ||
| Is that the idea? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's a modesty kind of thing. | ||
| Kind of like tradition. | ||
| You should do that at home just for fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, honey, why are there holes in all these sheets? | |
| Jesus wants this. | ||
| Or no, not Jesus. | ||
| Someone else. | ||
| God, we killed Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Jesus was a Jew. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| So, like, this community that we were driving through is massive. | ||
| Like, Brooklyn has... | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say Brooklyn, like, kind of in the southern kind of part. | ||
| Massive community. | ||
| I didn't know how big Brooklyn was. | ||
| Yeah, it's big. | ||
| It's fucking huge. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like you're talking about the neighborhood, like, kind of, like, north of Red Hook, but right there on the river. | ||
| Because I walked from my place in, like, lower Manhattan all the way down to, like, Red Hook, like, one day. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| Like, maybe about an hour. | ||
| An hour-ish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I walk at a New York pace. | ||
| You must have been sprinting. | ||
| Yeah, I walk at a New York pace. | ||
| I'm a walker. | ||
| That's how I say so slim. | ||
| If you run seven miles an hour, that's like a fairly good clip. | ||
| It's got to be more than seven miles. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| You have to understand, the whole of Manhattan is, I think it's like 14 miles, something like that. | ||
| It's 14 by four. | ||
| And I'm already living in the southern part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's probably... | ||
| I don't know, like about three... | ||
| Three miles? | ||
| Yeah, about three miles. | ||
| I walk in about three to four miles an hour. | ||
| One of the guys that was there with us, the guy who was driving us, was telling us how Brooklyn is just overwhelmed with building, construction, apartment buildings now, and everyone's moving out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Because the thing about Manhattan is that it's finite. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So the only way... | ||
| Like, yeah, you can build upwards, but you can only do that so much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so a lot of people are getting displaced. | ||
| You have to have enough money just to stay on the island of Manhattan. | ||
| And even people like that are getting displaced. | ||
| It's Brooklyn, Queens, etc. | ||
| Hoboken. | ||
| The people that I know that live in Manhattan always have this thought in their head that one day they might live in L.A. Like, even Bourdain was saying, ah, sometimes I think about it. | ||
| I think about the weather, and I know there's a lot of good things about L.A., a lot of nice places. | ||
| L.A., I lived here for the better part of eight years, like, in my early 20s and stuff. | ||
| And it's, you know, I mean, it makes you soft. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does it? | |
| Yeah, I think just, like, with the weather and things like that. | ||
| And it's also, like, yeah, the leisurely kind of, like, kind of thing. | ||
| Like, there's not a lot of drinking. | ||
| It's a lot more smoking weed, just because, like, everyone has to drive, you know, so nobody, like, you know, so everyone just, like... | ||
| It went by so fast because there's no seasons. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's all the same. | ||
| So I blinked and it was like, wait, I've been living out here for five years. | ||
| Because I'm from New York. | ||
| Summer, winter, winter's long. | ||
| It's one of the few major cities where you have a hundred degree weather shift in one year. | ||
| It can be a hundred degrees and later that year it can be zero degrees. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So it's kind of a harsh kind of climate a little bit. | ||
| And the summers, they're like, suck! | ||
| Because it's just the humidity. | ||
| It just sticks to you. | ||
| It's smelly. | ||
| I'm not a huge fan of New York in the summer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It gets very piss-like. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It sticks to you. | ||
| It sticks to your hair. | ||
| I've never lived in the city, though. | ||
| I might have missed my shot because now I'm married and with kids and the whole deal. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| And a stand-up comedian. | ||
| It's a lot of... | ||
| The only thing that could possibly make me live there was that I could do stand-up there very easily. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of comedy clubs. | ||
| Well, I think the island of Manhattan only has like six of them, technically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I think it's like five or six. | ||
| Six what? | ||
| Comedy clubs. | ||
| I could name five or six. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's got to be more than that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because I have a buddy who... | ||
| There's the stand. | ||
| The cellar has two clubs. | ||
| There's Dangerfields. | ||
| There's Caroline's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's... | |
| Eastville Comedy Club. | ||
| This has got to be more than that. | ||
| My buddy opened up one in like 2010. Oh, Gotham. | ||
| We're already at seven. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he opened up one like in about 2010 or something like that. | ||
| And he was talking about, he goes, actually, there's not a shit ton. | ||
| You already said it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| He was actually, he said like, yeah, he goes, when I opened up, there was only like six, you know, like he was like the seventh one or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's surprising, at least on the island of Manhattan itself, there's not as many comedy clubs as you'd Do you know, in the turn of the century, the 19th to the 20th century, there was a thousand or close to a thousand billiard halls in Manhattan. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| That's what men did before video games. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| And that's like when men didn't want to have families. | ||
| The bachelor life, they would live in these pool halls. | ||
| I'm going to play billiards. | ||
| Yeah, they'd gamble. | ||
| In a smoky, smoky pool hall. | ||
| I used to play a lot of pool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Went back to the Lovett's voice. | |
| Picasso! | ||
| I'm Picasso! | ||
| Yeah, there's actually not a lot of billiard clubs there anymore. | ||
| Yeah, there's a few. | ||
| I mean, I'm saying they do exist, but there's only a smattering of them. | ||
| There's only a few bowling alleys. | ||
| There's only a few bowling alleys, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think even like Bullmore moved, that kind of thing. | ||
| That was the trendy spot. | ||
| Those are going to be like... | ||
| Croquet someday. | ||
| We'll play some badminton. | ||
| Forgotten era games. | ||
| Let's play some squash. | ||
| Are you enjoying it out here now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have a good life out here. | ||
| I have a really pretty little family. | ||
| I've got a pretty girl, pretty dog, pretty cat, and all that stuff. | ||
| Everything's good? | ||
| Yeah, we're going to move. | ||
| We're doing a house thing and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| Oh, you're going to get a house together? | ||
| Yeah, well, she is. | ||
| Are you going to hitch a ride? | ||
| Yeah, I'm just going to hitch a ride. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Do you have to chip in, or do you just ride in? | ||
| No, it's on her. | ||
| She was already looking. | ||
| I think she's in escrow right now, essentially. | ||
| It just started today. | ||
| But if it goes south, she could just fucking boot you out. | ||
| Yep, yep. | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| I'd get my stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I have my place in New York, too. | ||
| I bought in the 90s. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| I'm doing okay. | ||
| But a proper loft. | ||
| I said I had big syndrome. | ||
| I saw the movie Big, and I'm like, that's what I want. | ||
| So, like, an elevator opens up to, like, a big room, and, like, I have more mannequins than, like, you would, like, think. | ||
| Like, we used to have an American Apparel downstairs, and I was walking, like, out one day, and there was just a pile of mannequin parts. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, look, I have to get these! | ||
| Like, and it's like... | ||
| And then I told my super, because it's in the same kind of building complex, I said, listen, if they're ever going to get rid of any mannequin things, tell them to come to me first. | ||
| What the fuck do you do with these mannequins? | ||
| They closed down, and I have so many mannequins. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Just these mannequin parts. | ||
| I have no idea what to do with them either. | ||
| I give them away as presents. | ||
| Like, here's a leg. | ||
| You were talking about all the different little cars that you bought. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Every time I go to the pharmacy, I have to buy a toy car. | ||
| But I try not to double up on things. | ||
| So it's like only one ambulance. | ||
| Only one fire truck. | ||
| Only one Corvette. | ||
| Now it's getting ridiculous. | ||
| But for some reason, I hoard things and I collect things. | ||
| And at the same time, I'll figure out what this is for. | ||
| I'll do something with those mannequins at some point. | ||
| Those are going to pay off, I swear. | ||
| That's the kind of shit that drives women crazy. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen... | ||
| I'm going to say, invest in mannequins. | ||
| It's a growth industry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a high ceiling on mannequins. | |
| I'm telling you, kids. | ||
| You think that's a freedom thing where you do whatever you want? | ||
| So you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a mannequin. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And when they closed down, it was like, yeah, I got like 20 mannequins. | ||
| Did you get them for free or did you have to buy them? | ||
| No, so they were going to sell them and it was something like, oh, we have like 16 of them. | ||
| We'll sell them to you for $500. | ||
| And I said, Listen, I said, I could do that, or I could pay you, you know, or I can give you $200 for him, and then give you $200. | ||
| Because the place is closing down. | ||
| So, you know, the store gets the $200, but then there's another $200 in your pocket kind of thing. | ||
| Because the store is closing down anyway. | ||
| Look at you, you bargainer. | ||
| Well, because they're not going to, like, they don't have a job starting next week. | ||
| So, like, they really don't care. | ||
| So, like, yeah, so I got him for cheaper, like, just by pretty much bribing the dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| You should have offered him a drawing. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm Picasso! | ||
| Look at that, fella. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In your face! | |
| Well, listen, man, it was great meeting you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's great meeting you, too. | |
| I had a good time. | ||
| This was really fun. | ||
| Yeah, it was a lot of fun. | ||
| And you're an interesting guy, man. | ||
| Oh, thanks. | ||
| You're very healthy for a guy who's gotten through what you've gotten through. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like I said, it wasn't too traumatic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did it. | |
| You nailed it. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| Yay! | ||
| One more time, your website for people? | ||
| It's bunnyears.com. | ||
| And the podcast? | ||
| It's a bunny ears pod. | ||
| You can get it anywhere podcasts are done. | ||
| Like whatever. | ||
| iTunes or whatever. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| They're listening to this. | ||
| They know where to get a podcast. | ||
| My podcasting partner takes care of that. | ||
| Go check out our website. | ||
| Go check out our Facebook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yada, yada, yada. | |
| And say hi to you at the Human Fest. | ||
| People Fest in Berlin. | ||
| I'm going to be there. | ||
| Thanks a lot, my friend. |
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