Brian Redban joins Joe Rogan to critique Facebook’s privacy failures—Jamie Vernon’s $1B+ stock sell after Cambridge Analytica’s data breach and misleading polls like Rihanna/Chris Brown’s Snapchat mockery—while debating Nike’s Alphafly shoe, which allegedly cuts marathon times by 4% via unnatural mechanics. Rogan champions barefoot running and natural foot movement, contrasting it with thick-heeled shoes linked to knee strain, before pivoting to deep-sea mysteries like Georgia’s decomposed "plesiosaur" and parasitic organisms controlling hosts (e.g., Cordyceps). They also dissect YouTube’s demonetization as censorship, Disney’s VR script tech, and futuristic health advances—stem cells, brain-interface devices—while musing on aging, ultra-marathons like Dag Abbey’s bus-dwelling lifestyle, and Floyd Mayweather’s MMA disadvantages. The episode ends with burger debates (Wendy’s quarter pounder vs. Five Guys’ spicy Cajun) and teasing upcoming guests like Pat Meletic and Vinny DeMarco. [Automatically generated summary]
It's a very good forum for people that are into political arguments.
Like political arguments, gay rights arguments, there's a lot of like, that's like one of the last places where it's okay to say that you don't think gay people should be married.
It's like, you know, I just know some people that I probably shouldn't know anymore.
See, it's a sneaky thing because they took the place of real stories.
It's like it used to...
go to CNN and everything would be CNN.
But now you go to CNN, everything is CNN up until the line and then below the line, it's like sponsored content.
Like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This isn't...
This is so sneaky, because this is barely an ad.
This is like an article on CNN that takes you to some new place, and every page, like you have to keep changing pages, and every page is like one paragraph.
Like one paragraph on what Kevin Costner looked like in 1980. Okay, what about 81?
Yeah, well, you would have to join the Bannon administration, and then they get you involved in Cambridge Analytics, and you've got to give up your fingerprints.
I don't know how anybody could say, yeah, put that on Snapchat.
Like, that seems so fucking insane.
That seems like a joke, like in a movie, you know?
Where, like, you talk about, like, a clueless executive, you know?
Like, this is my idea, what do you think?
Lots of clicks?
Lots of clicks?
You know, cut to him with a sad face, holding his box of stuff as he's being kicked out of his office, and stay out!
That doesn't seem like something as huge as Snapchat.
It's so funny how privacy has changed over the years.
Remember AOL 1 or 2, where you used to have member directory, where you just type in your address, and it'll show you all the users near your house, and then you could just instant message these people out of the blue and go, Hey, you look cute.
Well, we were talking about this yesterday with Kurt Metzger.
We were talking about Barry Crimmins, how Barry Crimmins, you know, Barry Crimmins has a, there's a documentary that Bobcat made for him about him called, They Call Me Lucky?
This is what I was going to show you guys a second ago.
I just saw a story yesterday that never before they thought iPhones could be cracked, and now this company has this little box, which there's a picture right here.
$15,000 gets the police 300 license unlocks, and they can spend double and have unlimited unlocks, and it will unlock every iPhone newer than an iPhone 5S, it said.
I just bought one of those little square devices you know so like if you're selling shirts after a show or something and it has that built into it so you could just people are just using their iPhones on it whoa yeah $40 device you get on Amazon that's crazy using it with your iMac is good too yeah it's a your iMac yeah if you buy something on your iMac and it's linked to your phone it'll just like you want to use apple pay and then you pull out your phone and confirm with your face or your well on my laptop it is a fingerprint for like for apple pay yeah Yeah,
Series like that girl that was really hot but decided to stop working out You know and she's like she's still pretty hot, but then all these other girls are going to the gym all the time Look at them like look at her butt though.
Look at her legs and series just kind of Siri's kind of sloppy.
It's pretty annoying now how many times my Siri and my Alexis go off just from people going, hey Siri, you know, like on a podcast or something and it just ruins everything.
My Alexa did one of those things where, out of the blue, I think it was in the news recently, where you're just sitting there, and she just starts laughing.
It's like, you've heard them do that with voice, like when they take people's voices and they chop them up and try to piece together some sort of audio of something that they didn't really say, if they're being obvious about it.
But you know, there's technology right now, like Photoshop, that's going to allow people to stitch audio together.
I believe we've talked about it on the podcast before.
Yeah.
It's getting better and better.
There's a Radiolab episode where they showed where it's at now, and it's one of those things where right now it's not ready.
It's still, like, if you heard it, you'd go, oh, that's not Brian.
That's a fake conversation put together from a bunch of shit Brian said.
It's good enough to make you go, whoa, this wasn't around before.
Like, if somebody showed you that Snapchat thing that all the girls do where they put dog faces on and shit and barf, barf and pretend to be a puppy dog or unicorns or whatever, if someone showed you that just ten years ago, you would be, holy shit, you wouldn't believe it.
You wouldn't believe it.
You would look at, like, that thing that lets you become Rick from The Walking Dead and you would go, what?
What the fuck, man?
This is incredible.
If someone showed you that in 1998, do you know how mind-blowing and groundbreaking that would be?
Now it's a part of an app that's on your phone that sits in your pocket.
Like, what happened?
And how quick did this happen?
Which hole is it going in?
It's probably going to be a suppository.
Just so that the alien...
It's like an ironic...
That the aliens have figured out a way to mock us while defeating us.
And the way is just to give you the most ultimate bliss with this tiny little robot dick.
You don't even feel it.
Just put this robot dick in your butt.
It's appository.
And because your butt doesn't have like skin, it's not the same.
It's like open tissue.
That's why it's so good for getting infected.
So this little robot can just seamlessly interact with all that open tissue.
And that's how you connect with God.
They're gonna talk us in just the way they did with these Cambridge analytics.
They sneak you in the door.
You think it's a personality quiz.
You're really electing a dumb president.
You know, same thing.
You think, well, I'm just gonna go meet God.
No.
You're giving birth to the robot empire.
Do little tiny robot dicks.
It's not impossible to think.
Look, we're willing to put glasses over our face so we can see better.
Why wouldn't we put little metal bullets Up our butt.
If you found out that it makes life infinitely better.
Like, we can't believe that this is the case.
The only way to do it is up your butt.
You know, we've tried, and then people are like, oh, come on, I'm not doing that.
And then a few guys do it, and they're walking around your neighborhood, and fucking sparkles are coming out of their eyes.
I think the only reason why a lot of people don't do it is because they don't have a friend that has a bunch of Xanax that's constantly giving them Xanax or something.
Because I never see pills or, you know, I'm not around that road at all.
Like, oh, I don't even know what a Xanax looks like, you know?
The world's filled with good things and bad things.
I mean, there's a lot of shit going on.
If you don't have some anxiety, it must be because you're just choosing to not pay attention.
Like anybody who lives in New York City.
You live in New York City.
Imagine all the shit that's going on around you all the time while you're just sitting there.
You're supposed to be aware of it.
Just supposed to hope everybody keeps together.
Supposed to hope everybody's cool.
You're in your apartment.
You're on the 13th floor of a 60-floor building.
It's filled with people.
There's another one right next to it.
There's another one right next to that.
They go all the way down the street.
They're filled with people.
People are fucking everywhere.
And you're supposed to just be chilled out?
That doesn't make no sense to me, man.
I'm with you if you're nervous.
If you're anxious, you're driving in traffic every day and people are on their phones and not paying attention and everything you eat gives you cancer.
You're not anxious?
I don't understand you.
You should be anxious.
This is the argument for not living the way we live.
It's not the argument for taking a pill that kills that part of your brain that makes you anxious.
They're going to look back in 2018. They're going to look back...
At this time period.
And they're gonna go, how is that possible?
That they had the internet, they had all this knowledge, they had all these scientific studies that had been done, they knew about psychology and ideologies, they knew about the health, like, what health benefits, bogus fucking health benefits, oh, less likely to get AIDS. Get the fuck out of here.
Wash your dick.
Everybody watch it.
If you're getting AIDS or not getting AIDS based on the fact that you're circumcised or not circumcised, you are dancing on such a fine edge in your life.
I want to see more data from that study.
I don't want to just see, do you get AIDS? I want to see how fucking, how crazy are you?
The whole thing's crazy.
Cutting baby dicks.
That would be one.
What else?
Tax exempt status for religions.
That one.
Because otherwise, why can't I start a religion right now and get tax exempt status?
Why can't you?
You tell me Scientology can do it?
How many people makes a religion?
Do you have a number?
Give me your number.
Tell me what your numbers are.
How do you know whether or not someone's legit?
How do you decide?
No one should be tax-exempt, especially someone who's taking in shit-fucking-ton piles of money.
If you're some sort of church or whatever, and you're getting donations in the millions and millions of dollars, and you're like one of them Benny Hinn assholes out there driving a Bentley, Amazon Inc.
paid zero federal taxes in 2017. Gets 789 million windfall from new tax law.
There was a law passed that stated how much money a corporation can donate to political campaigns.
It was very specific.
That a corporation is seen as an individual.
Look up that.
Corporations seen as individual for donation political campaigns.
It was just...
It's not in anybody's interest that these huge companies like Amazon or anything that size that has fucking billions of dollars that they should just be able to get together And influence a politician with a shit ton of money and then the politician does their bidding and helps them be bigger and stronger and maybe fucks over some people.
Gotta be really careful about that.
Because the politicians could find a way of arguing it.
Well, I could see.
But is that how he would vote without that influence?
No.
So all these politicians that get into those positions are all just influence peddlers.
They're just peddling influence.
They're saying, listen, you know, if you help me, I'll help you.
Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
They're not looking out for the people that voted them in at all.
They're looking out for the people that paid all the money to make them more prominent so that people would vote them in.
It's very sneaky.
It should have been fixed a long time ago.
If you think of all the shit like insider trading that is illegal, like if Jamie really did know something about Facebook, and then he told us, like, hey dude, shit's going down.
You know, like there's a bunch of fucking wackadoos that would give a million.
The thing is, man, there's weird things that happen with politicians that you don't factor in when you think about bribery.
And one of the weird ones is, did you ever see that movie about the financial crisis?
Which one was it called?
Inside job.
Inside job.
It's fucking amazing.
But one of the things that it details is how many of these guys were professors that were making these suggestions, like working as consultants to the government, making these suggestions that wind out to be horribly irresponsible financially, and then those guys get giant jobs afterwards that pay fucking millions of dollars.
And you're like, wait a minute.
What happened here?
You're a professor.
You made these sort of, you know, weird suggestions that if you looked at, like in the movie Inside Job, he goes over it with these professors like, how the fuck could you have thought this?
Why did you push this?
Why were you guys promoting that?
And then they go on to get these gigantic fucking jobs at banks.
And you're like, oh, this is crazy.
This is like a clear path.
Like, do the right thing here, and then you're going to make $5 million a year here.
And so they all do it.
And this movie's really good, because in one of the scenes, he's talking to one of these big-time bank guys, and in the middle of talking to him, the guy realizes what's going on.
He gets a real hostile, but he keeps going like his arrogance allows him to like keep battling this guy But he keeps like looking dumber and dumber because the guy was doing the interview is really good The guy who put together this documentary is really good.
It's an it's a fascinating documentary that gives you a real insight into how complicated complicated and fucking Distorted the system is like it's very distorted for those people that are just like those rich banker guys All they're doing is moving money.
I just couldn't I I just can't imagine we still use it.
I mean, I'm sure someone like Peter Schiff could come and school me and explain it to me, but I Feel like it should be like one goat equals one piece of gold As soon as you go higher than that it just as soon as you get into speculation and Shorting and oh my god Buying and selling stock in a company and a company can crash like that.
And that's like, unfortunately, what's happened to Babies R Us and Toys R Us is that they weren't getting killed by Amazon.
It was just them taking debt in and like this finance company that bought them just pretty much, you know, going crazy in debt from bad spending and it had nothing to do with Toys R Us' business.
They were doing fine.
It was all about the finance company that owned them.
But it might be a good thing for mom and pop toy stores.
Because here's the thing about toy stores.
As a parent, kids love to go to the fucking toy store.
It's a fun time.
It's like, we're going to the toy store!
Woo!
Like, if my kids would do something good or we would make a promise, like, hey, if we're going to do this project and when we're done with this project, you guys can pick out a toy.
So you give them, like, a work-reward type situation.
Dude, they get fucking crazy.
They're running down those aisles.
There's all these stuffed animals and all these games, and it's an exciting place for little kids.
You can't replicate that online.
It's just not the same.
You're looking through Amazon.com or something like that.
It's great that it's very convenient.
You can just press...
Press one click and have it sent to your house.
But for toy stores in particular, this is a colossal...
There was a doll that looked exactly like Barbie that guys used to carry around and give to women and it was like a way of flirting with a woman like, hey, this is what I want to see you wearing later.
What?
And so this person came over to Germany and saw this doll and modeled Barbie right after this hooker doll.
And so if you look at the original Barbie, what it was modeled off of, it was just like a creepy looking hooker chick.
I'm sure you can find a picture.
But this documentary is so amazing because it goes through all the famous things.
They decided, how are we going to fight Star Wars toys?
They were like, let's make it bigger and stronger so that if you see a He-Man doll next to a Star Wars toy, it's like, who's this little pussy doll, you know?
And then they made a cartoon around it.
It's really interesting.
You wouldn't think it would be that interesting, but even the Barbie part was like, Wow, this is fascinating.
And how they changed Barbie's look every year, made her sexier.
She gets so much shit because her waist is really small and stuff.
That's because when you put clothes on, for it to fit and look right, that's how they had to make her waist.
It was more for the style of the clothes she was wearing, not of what it looked like underneath.
Yeah, he build Lily dollars could buy Lily dog and we bought in tobacco shops bars and adult themed toy stores Gerber rights men got Lily dolls as gag gifts at bachelor parties put them on their card dashboard Dangled them from the rearview mirror or gave them to girlfriends as suggestive keepsake.
This proto Barbie was just shy of a foot tall with bulging breasts and platinum blonde ponytail made up for a night in the town with red puckered lips and blue eyeshadow.
Wow.
Interesting.
The German doll's heavy makeup and subjectively arched eyebrows didn't carry over to the American version.
Lily was witty, irreverent, and sexually uninhibited.
One strip, summarized by Lord, who's Lord?
Lord, the writer?
The writer?
Okay.
Shows Lily covering her naked body with a newspaper, explaining to a friend, we had a fight, and he took back all the presents he gave me.
Get it?
She's naked.
Another shows Lily in a bikini when a policeman tells her that two-piece swimsuits are illegal, she says, oh, and in your opinion, which part should I take off?
And then it talked about how Malibu Barbie, like, was the first one that, like, have the eyes stare right at you, so it was, like, more sexual or something.
You don't want to, you know, I mean, the thing about those dolls and all that stuff is, like, you're putting something in a kid's head that this is what an adult looks like.
But I guess you're doing the same thing with He-Man.
When was the last time anybody got accused of fat shaming a guy?
It's always a woman.
It's always if you're fat shaming, it's implied you're fat shaming a woman because they're the only ones who care.
Tom and Burp.
That was a different kind of fat shaming.
They got locked up because people found it a target.
Like, oh, let's figure out what we can say here.
Oh, it's fat shaming.
But just genuinely untrue.
Without it ever being requested by someone.
Like if you just, on your own, you decided to say that's fat shaming.
Like you saw it and you pointed it out and it became an issue about a public event or a public person or a public celebrity said, I'm being fat shamed and it was a man.
Fucking never.
Does it mean it hasn't happened?
Maybe it hasn't.
I have been paying attention.
But I can't imagine that some guy would fucking complain because he has a gut and someone's fat shaming him publicly.
He would just look at that gut and go, fuck, they're right.
Gotta stop eating.
You know?
Like, the Tom and Bert thing, people really did think they were serious.
That's where it got weird.
Like, people would get angry at Bert or angry at Tom.
I run with the smallest, tiniest amount of sole, and it's changed my feet.
I used to have completely flat feet.
So if I stepped in water, and then I stepped on the tile next to the pool, and if it was like cement or something like that where you could see my footprint, you would see a flat cave band footprint.
But those heels, that raised heel, it shortens your Achilles tendon.
If you wear those all the time, or wear high heels all the time, think about it.
Your foot is always in this weird position where the back heel is elevated.
So your tendon is not traveling as far.
So then when you do something where it does have to travel far, it can get ruptured.
You can have issues with it.
It's just not...
It's like...
You ever heard of people that drive cars a lot and they have a big fat wallet?
They wind up getting problems with their back.
They'll get a disc slippage because they're kind of getting a bulging disc because they're always leaning on one side.
You're doing your body a disservice by keeping it in an unnatural position or in any sort of static position for long periods of time.
So when you have a static position like...
Sitting with a big fat wallet in your ass, it eventually starts to break you down.
The argument is that that same kind of shit is happening with heels.
So if you're wearing a sneaker that has like a heel to it, that you're constantly, especially if you're doing explosive exercises, you're constantly limiting the range of your heel.
My thing, though, is because I also have bad flat feet, that if I have like a Converse All-Star, I feel like I need more support because it makes me walk almost pigeon-toed or something like that.
Oh, yeah, that's probably where they're getting it, right?
Sweaty dick in the jungle.
A lot of ringworm everywhere.
Your body has, like, a whole system, you know, and that whole system is fortified by you eating fermented foods and things that are probiotic and yogurt and, like, strategies that people have come up with over the years to introduce probiotic foods into their diet.
And some of it was by accident, by just trying to preserve things, and they fermented.
And some of it was, you know, they figured out like, hey, you know, we can do this and I have a better result with that.
And, you know, that's really what's...
The cause of a lot of skin issues.
I mean, you're going to get ringworm anyway if you're exposed to it all the time and you have open sores and you can't get to a shower in time.
It's totally likely that you could get it.
But I guarantee you your recovery time and the instances that you get it will be less likely.
If you take acidophilus, if you take, I like kombucha, there's a bunch of different probiotics you can take.
And it's just a very smart thing for your body.
But that's one of the things about Diet Coke.
I think Diet Coke, as delicious as it is, wrecks your healthy skin flora.
Yeah, I think it exactly is, because I know I saw it on something else.
Get it a little bigger so I can read it here.
After the internet was buzz about astronaut Scott Kelly's purported altered DNA after his year in space, NASA has clarified the findings in their study.
His DNA did not change by 7%.
He is still an identical twin to his brother Mark.
I want my money back.
From all those things I clicked, you fuckheads.
NASA says University of Tennessee's graduate...
Gene's expression changed by about 7%.
Gene expression is how your body reacts to your environment and stress fractures.
They said this level of change in gene expression was within the expected range for humans in stressful environments like scuba diving or mountain climbing!
Anybody that thinks that all vaccinations are bad is a fucking idiot.
If you really think that it's all some sort of a big giant conspiracy to ruin people and make a ton of money, you're crazy.
If people are getting jacked by vaccinations, that is an unfortunate side effect of one of the most spectacular things that human beings have ever created.
They created a way to combat diseases that killed untold millions.
I mean, think about the fucking malaria vaccinations.
Grows inside a bug's body and then says, hey, faggot, why don't you go jump in that water?
I will jump in that water.
And they jump in the water and they drown.
I mean, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
They talk this organism into killing itself so that they can pop out in the water and live.
Brr.
There's a bunch of things like that in nature.
We have to wonder, how did this evolve?
What's going on?
What is the actual process that allows something to evolve into a plant that can eat a rat?
You ever see that plant that gets all slippery and smells good so the rats come near and they fall into the hole and it's into this like this looks like a like a tulip like a giant thick tulip and it just absorbs the rat like how the fuck did that start and that's what it does all the time like it tricks the rats like what the fuck like what was stage one like what was that thing like in the beginning what did it like did it catch a bug and the bugs are cool but I like to get one of them furry fuckers it's always chewing on my leaves you know There's
just so many different forms of life, and this is all we know about Earth.
Like we were talking about exploring the ocean.
Can you imagine if we found some crazy fucking half-human looking things that live under there?
I think I told you about this before, but there's this plant.
It's on planet Earth too, so I'm not really going to show the footage, but it has these seedlings on this specific island somewhere that these birds come And land, and they eat the seeds, and then they also get stuck to the birds' bodies, and as they fly around, that's how it spreads.
But the birds can get them stuck to them so much that it gets stuck on the ground, and they can't fly anymore.
Jesus.
And they end up...
Dying and then being decomposed and the plants sort of like...
I mean, when you see the very bizarre ways that nature figures out how to...
How to take advantage of a situation.
My favorite one is that cordyceps mushroom that grows in those ants and the other ants recognize that this is a problem, that this thing died with these ants.
These ants died with these mushrooms growing inside of it and the spores We'll build up inside this thing's body and then explode and spray through the air and infect all the other ants around it.
Like, literally, it's like a bomb.
And somehow or another, the ants know this.
So the ants take the body and they drag it out of town.
They're like, we gotta get them out of here before it blows.
I mean, it's literally like someone throws the hand grain in your car and you just chuck it out just in time.
Putin calls Russian poisoned ex-spy nonsense and delirium.
Oh, well then they definitely did it.
Make that bigger.
Sloughed off the notion that Russia was behind the poisoning former Russian spy and his daughter, saying any sensible person would understand that this is delirium and nonsense.
It is unthinkable that we would do such a thing.
The first thing that came to mind, if it was a military-grade agent, he would have died on the spot.
They would have died on the spot, obviously, said Putin, speaking in the party headquarters in Moscow shortly.
Putin also says he's never met Trump before the election, and then there's like video from like three years ago, Trump saying, I met Putin, you know, and like...
I'm enjoying it because I think this is what's fun about this time is even with like and this is partly because we have a guy like Trump in office is that everything seems like there's nobody at the wheel everything from top to bottom these people scrambling to take the wheel I'll take the wheel and right this ship but there's no one at the wheel it's all craziness right now it's craziness culturally it's craziness politically It's craziness economically.
None of it makes any sense.
It's racially crazy.
People are fighting.
People are mad at Bruno Mars.
Bruno Mars for cultural appropriation.
How is that possible?
I mean, there's so many different things that are happening today that are so outrageous.
Oh, how about this one?
A guy got fucking sentenced, or he got convicted, and will be sentenced soon, I think he gets sentenced in April, for getting his dog to make a Hitler salute.
Making a video.
Yes, it's on my Twitter page.
I retweeted it.
The guy is in Scotland and he's a proud shit poster.
I'll just go somewhere where I can talk about anything.
I don't want to go somewhere where I can only talk about certain things.
It's like, I've done a few, air quote, clean shows in my day, where I got a gig, especially when I was first starting out, they're like, hey, can you do a half an hour clean?
And I go, okay, yeah.
And I would just edit.
I would just edit the shit out of something, use words that, you know, there's like innuendo that you can get away with, and I could sort of squeak by with a bullshit half hour set, you know?
But I would never do that today.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
It's just like, what I want to be able to do is find out what's the best way to express the thoughts that are in my mind that are funny.
The best way is never by censoring yourself.
The best way is by figuring out what's the best way to express yourself.
Sometimes censorship can be a tool though for writing.
Like if you know that you can't swear or you know, like for joke writing, one of the cool things about Twitter It was that you had 140 characters.
Now, obviously, you have more, you have 280, but the 140 made you write a joke very concisely if you wanted to be funny.
You know, you'd have to have set up, punchline, cut out all that.
You're like, oh, I'm 10 letters over.
Shit.
And you back it up a little.
Oh, just take this out.
I could say it in one word.
It makes you understand the economy of words better.
And sometimes that's the case with writing too.
Like, you can get out of a joke easy by just adding swear words or adding sexual innuendo or stuff like that.
But that's like just an exercise.
Like when you're actually expressing yourself, when you're actually doing the work, like going on stage, doing a show, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want.
Otherwise, it's not stand-up.
And it's either funny or it's not funny.
I mean, if it's not funny, you just weren't funny.
But it's not because it's the subject matter.
That's just fucking stupid.
That's stupid.
Because anything can be, almost anything can be funny.
I'm sure there's probably a few things that can't be.
But for the most part, if you think it's funny, if you have a point, it's possible.
When I was coming up in the early days, I did one of those NACA conferences, National Association for College Campus Activities, I think it is.
And if you get booked by a bunch of schools, dude, it is amazing.
It's amazing.
You make thousands of dollars.
It is great.
That was the first time I made good money.
I would travel, and I'd go to all these different weird fucking Olivet, Michigan, some university there, some weird university in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, and they'd take you out.
To some local fucking country bar afterwards.
You're doing shots with kids who go to school there.
Because I was basically their age.
Or a couple years older.
This is when I was like 23 or 24 maybe.
And they were all like 20. So we're all like in the same wheelhouse.
And then there was people that worked at the school that were even older.
They'd come out drinking with you, too.
Different times, man.
But you could make real money.
Like, you'd do a gig and you'd make $1,000 or $1,500 or $2,000.
Like, holy shit, for one show.
It was crazy.
For an unknown comedian?
So everybody, like, aspired to do those college gigs.
But back then, man...
Even back then, they were real sensitive.
Kids are real sensitive, and they're always looking to...
They don't have a lot of life experience, right?
So their life experience is limited to 18 years.
Most of it's been under the care of their parents, for most kids.
Then all of a sudden, they're at school, and they're flexing their wings and their muscles, and they object to things, and they've decided that these things are inappropriate, and these things shouldn't be said, and this isn't true.
They can't take certain...
They can't take a lot of sarcasm...
They don't know.
I mean, they take you literally too often.
They think some subjects are just period taboo, because they are period taboo in offices and in some schools, and there's some things they can't say.
So if they can't say it, they don't want you to say it.
It's a very weird time for kids, you know?
That's why it's so crazy that you have all these fucking dorks that are stuck in that system that graduated from college then started teaching and have these ridiculous Marxist ideas and loony fucking left-wing ideologies and they're brainwashing these kids about gender neutral or gender fluidity and making safe spaces and all this stupid shit like what you're doing is is like further cushioning and coddling them And then what are they going to do?
They're just going to join academia as well?
They're going to get through their schooling and teach in this weird insulated little thought bubble that you guys have created?
So when people look at these people screaming and yelling and calling people Nazis and on school campuses and all this fucking chaos that's going on, this is what happens.
This is what happens when you baby people.
This is what happens when you set up this environment Where they can never, ever interface with the real world.
They just exist in this super hypersensitive, hyper-progressive bubble where nothing is produced, nothing is created.
You're just teaching people ideas.
And you're teaching people ideas, and the ideas are being promoted by a person who, in a lot of situations, has never even been out in the real world working.
It's a bullshit fucking thing.
And then they have tenure, so they can never be fired.
You know, that these are these, in a lot of ways, it's kind of like royalty.
In a lot of ways, it's kind of like weird political systems that get corrupt.
Like things, ideas get corrupt as much as like finances get corrupt.
Like, people feel a way to extract social points by promoting their ideas and by forcing their ideas down other people's throats and having them accept it and mimic that as well.
It also reinforces that they're doing their life right and everybody else is doing their life wrong.
So it becomes this weird psychological wrestling match that people are doing with people, you know, in the outside world.
I mean, I've had a lot of guests on to talk about this subject, but I think this subject It's one of the reasons why it rings true to people is because I think we all realize this is happening in just in life in general and there's a lot of weird control battles going on in life in general and in Telling a guy that he can't have his dog say see I can't say see his dog and have his dog lift his arm up Telling a guy that he can't do that is just stupid.
Because you're making it a way bigger thing than it should be.
It should be a stupid video that no one cares about.
When Steven Crowder went to an LBGTQ event in Austin, and he had a dude show up saying that he identifies as a robot, and he says all this really rude shit.
People are trying to control what people do and don't say.
And I think when you do that, you run into real problems.
Like, who the fuck are you?
Who are you?
Who are you to decide?
You know?
And even Noam Chomsky said something about Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson that free speech does not apply to hate speech.
Like, what?
Like, yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
That's crazy that someone who's really smart can say it doesn't.
Yeah.
Okay, so it's available on YouTube.
So he put some post saying that he was blocked from something.
Doesn't matter.
The point is, one thing that's been shown is that they're trying to silence more, they're trying to stop the spread of conservative ideology and spread liberal ideology.
Like, they're actively trying to do that.
I feel like there's a real worry that when you have a platform, whether it's YouTube or something like that, That you could get infected by, say, shit posters.
If shit posters just...
They're more prolific, right?
Just look at the comments on YouTube.
In a lot of really popular things, the comments are horrific.
Way disproportionate to how they would be in the real world.
Like the comments and the anger that you find in a lot of YouTube videos, especially if you look at like the comments of podcasts.
Holy shit, dude.
People are opinionated, right?
They got some crazy wild fucking opinion.
Now, if you were YouTube, you'd be like, we have to figure out a way.
To stop people from saying faggot.
Or we have to figure out a way to stop people from doing this.
Or stop people from being homophobic.
We have to figure out a way to stop people from supporting Trump.
We have to figure out a way to stop people from talking about the wall.
We have to figure out a way.
And as soon as you start doing that kind of stuff, you run into a real slippery road.
You're deciding what people should and shouldn't be able to say.
Even if it's legal.
That gets real weird because then you don't have a free speech platform.
You have a left-wing platform.
Like, your platform is now left-wing.
And I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm saying it strengthens the position of the people that you oppose because they are being suppressed.
Like, you can see they're being suppressed.
Even if they're wrong.
You put a guy in jail because his dog says, listen, pop, when he says, see, hi, like, boy, you just looked real fucking stupid to most people, and now the fight is on.
And now it's going to be this swarm of controversy where people are freaking, I just found out about it yesterday.
This famous conspiracy theorist, his videos have been coming up in the YouTube kids' app, teaching, like, Flat Earth-type shit, and, like, we didn't go to the planet or moon.
No, this is in defense of them because I had dinner with some bigwigs at YouTube and some of the stuff they said was very annoying and not calling things hate speech that just weren't.
Like talking about someone who got a community guideline strike because they put a conversation up in their playlist between Sam Harris and Douglas Murray.
Two intellectuals.
And they said that it was because it was hate speech.
And I was like, that is...
The fact they could just say that just drove me nuts.
But they're dealing with who knows how many videos every day.
I mean, it's insane.
How could they possibly even know the videos?
Okay, the total number of people who use YouTube is...
What is that number?
Oh, my God.
1,300,000,000.
300 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute.
Almost 5 billion videos are watched on YouTube every single day.
In an average month, 8 out of 10 18 to 49 year olds watch YouTube.
One of the things this woman said to me that I agree with her on, I mean, I believe her.
Because this is not about opinion.
It's about the way YouTube works.
She said, right now we have very crude tools to find offensive speech, hate speech.
They're very crude tools.
Sometimes they miss the mark.
And sometimes when you're dealing with like subtlety, like humor, like I could say, hey, you fuck.
And, you know, people go, oh, he was angry.
Like, obviously not.
You hear the tone, you know, like someone saying that they're saying it to friends and they're joking around, they're being silly and everybody's laughing.
YouTube misses that.
They don't know what's humor and what's not.
So are you saying that you can never make a joke about, you know, a guy's dick?
Or you can never make a joke about a girl's vagina?
Or you never make a joke about heterosexual sex?
No, no, you can do that.
Okay.
Can I make a joke about gay sex?
No.
No, you can't.
Oh, I see, because I'm not gay.
Okay.
Can I make a joke about white people?
Yes.
Can you make a joke about black people?
No.
Okay.
What are we doing here?
What are we doing?
You're deciding what people can and can't say, and then they're also demonetizing things.
And we've had some demonetized ones that were just like, okay, there's got to be some sort of an algorithm going on here, where there's a word we say, and that word triggers some sort of a response, and then they say that it's up for...
We have it up for manual review sometimes, but our Douglas Murray one, where we talked about YouTube demonetizing videos, that one got demonetized.
The assumption is that everybody who works in management, everybody who works behind the scenes, all shares a mindset?
That's crazy.
That doesn't even make any sense.
That's not even a society.
Like, group think tanks like that?
Like, if they all agree?
And this was one of the things that James Damore pointed out about Google.
It's like, they don't leave any room whatsoever for conservatives.
Like, they absolutely discriminate against conservatives.
I'm not conservative.
But if I was, and I worked at a company like Google, imagine how fucking on the outside you would feel.
Like, is it illegal to be conservative?
Like, isn't there a responsible, ethical form of conservatism that's not racist, not homophobic, but presumes that a conservative person in power would be more fiscally responsible, will have economic policies that they agree with, interventionalist policies they agree with?
I don't think that that's outside the realm of possibility, that a reasonable person could be conservative.
But if you work for any big tech company, that's not in the menu.
You don't get to be that.
Like, you don't get to promote that.
You don't get to agree with that.
It's weird.
It's not good because it's not open speech.
You're supposed to be able to talk shit through.
I like to listen to someone who has a very strong opinion about something and see if it resonates with me.
I think that demonetizing is not a good thing because of other ways, other reasons that it happens on YouTube because they then have an incentive to share monetized videos because they're making money on them.
I get that, but it's just because it's demonetized.
It's gonna be an IP ban that someone was at your house and now you're banned from using YouTube because someone was over or a neighbor is using your Wi-Fi and they fucked you.
It's also your responsibility to know that, I guess.
This is probably going to be like the upper-level CGI. Like, you're going to be able to write it, then you're going to be able to talk into it, and it's going to create things.
You're going to have a fucking headset on, and you're going to be in a room, and you're going to say, I want to be in the Avatar world and ride a dragon, and I want to be blue, and I want to have a bow and arrow, and I want to go to the Tree of Life, and all that shit's going to be right in front of you.
Yeah, they're going to just be able to do it with virtual reality based on your suggestions.
And then they're going to figure out a way to get your brain to interface with that thing.
Whereas they've already figured out a way to get a kid to move his cursor.
Someone was paralyzed and they got this person to move their cursor.
I don't know if it was a kid.
They've had a bunch of different things where they've used the mind to control things.
I did a thing on Joe Rogan Questions Everything where I put this headset on and I got...
A drone to listen to me.
I could get it to lift up off the ground if I thought a certain way.
But it's very close to having this, like, with either in your phone, so you can just control games on your phone or put that in a little AR, VR headset.
And what's really interesting is that the movie also has, because you pick an avatar, just like a video game or Facebook, so people are picking like, I want to be King Kong.
So King Kong's in it, and like Back to the Future cars in it, and Akira's motorcycles in it.
I mean, if they're going to continue the same path that they're on now, if you go back and look at the video games we used to see when we were kids, when you play Mortal Kombat, On a console.
It was kind of cool.
But compared to this, it's like Pong, right?
It's going to happen.
It's just going to keep going.
It's just a matter of where it's going to leave us.
We're not going to be people anymore real soon.
Within a hundred years, we're not going to be people anymore.
The robot people would have to kill the Amish people.
You can't have them around.
They would think, they would say, well, are they like wildlife?
They're like wildlife after a certain point.
Because if we all started out as some sort of proto-hominid back in the early days of evolution, right, we started as some sort of primitive primate and then eventually evolved to be what we are now.
But there's still chimps around.
There's still monkeys around.
There's still a lot of primitive primates.
Like, did they evolve at a later date?
Did they start later than us?
Did they get a different call time to the race?
Like, what happened?
Or did some things stay the same while other things change?
And it's just the rate of change seems so spectacularly quick, but it's only because of our perspective.
But really, there could be groups of people, and might be the Amish, that stay exactly the same.
And then the new beings treat them like colobus monkeys in the jungle.
Or like some fucking weird giraffe that you see when you go on a safari.
Like, look, look, the people that make their own butter!
They're real!
They're real!
And we'd wave at them, hello!
I love your wagon!
I mean, really, they could become wildlife.
They could become a very primitive form of wildlife.
They could become like uncontacted tribes in the Amazon where we just leave them alone and we think they're novel.
Look, look!
They're painted all red, their whole body.
They have a bow and arrow that they made themselves.
This is amazing!
We get all excited about it, but it's the same exact shit.
Same exact shit to us.
When the new things take over, they just keep the Amish, they keep tribespeople, they keep the weird shit that's not gonna fuck with them.
Anything that doesn't know how to work electricity.
All those people that are out there living without electricity?
You know?
Like those Alaska, the last Frontier shows, those people would have to all plead for their life.
You'd be like, look, I'm just here.
I'm just taking care of cattle, and I'm not planning on getting any weapons.
We like a simple life, and we're happy for our robot overlords.
Congratulations on your victory, and just leave us up here with the river.
When I was getting my eyes looked at, the doctor said that how people's eyes are a lot worse nowadays.
And remember when you were a kid, your mom was like, don't sit so close to the TV. But now we're putting goggles in our eyes, like one inch from our eye.
Why are we doing that?
Why does no one talk about eye health?
Because it seems like...
If my optrician, or whatever she's called, is telling me about, like, oh, dude, you should get these blue blocker things now.
So they get a measurement of your eye refraction, which can then be performed with a smartphone.
Wow!
That can be performed with a smartphone, the first part.
And then the doctors create the laser pattern, and then they fucking stormtrooper your eyeball, drop some chemicals on there, and the chemicals get in through the holes that you've made in your eyeball.
I think when, you know, we're thinking back like 20, 30 years ago, you never heard about this shit, and now you're hearing about it, like how much better is it going to be in 20, 30 years from now?
I mean, how much of it is going to be nanoparticles mixed with stem cells and they just fucking regenerate your whole body, you know?
I think that's what's gonna happen.
I think people are going to be able to not just regenerate limbs, but I think they're gonna be able to regrow your body, like refresh your body.
Like whatever your old bullshit ass cells that you have in your body, they're gonna figure out where the memories are actually stored.
That's gonna be that's gonna be a trip if we find out that memories are not just in your head but also in your body.
So like what if we completely redo the body but keep the brain and you don't remember shit?
Your brain is just a conduit for these memories that are stored in your soul.
And you've kind of replaced yourself with some fake zombie body with nanobots.
How could someone be that off that I read it or is it just my memories that bad?
I'm gonna go with my memory.
Whatever it is, imagine that those memories in that heart remain in the heart and you transfer your heart into somebody else's body.
That's what happens when people get heart transplants and certain people have said that they have certain weird cravings and they think about things that they never thought about before.
It's like you might be literally interfacing with someone else's memories.
Imagine doing someone else's memories in your body.
Like people that get kidney transplants.
Imagine you get some memories along with that and you're like, what is this, a dream?
This is a dream.
Or do I remember some shit I did when I was five but it wasn't me?
Like think about your memories of being five how fleeting how How like barely visible how like in the darkest darkest darkest corner of what you could Possibly describe as a real memory in terms of like being able to describe all those everything around you It's like almost nothing there almost nothing there.
I'll give that to somebody else Give that to somebody else.
And they have that shit just bouncing around their head.
I mean, they don't know, right, where memories are stored.
Do they?
Do they know that for sure?
The question would be...
Every cell in your body reproduces, right?
Every cell in your body changes, and over the course of seven to eight years, you essentially don't have any of the same cells in your body except your neurons.
Well, look at the way they would hold their hands up, too.
They held their hands very differently.
But those fights were very different fights because they had real small gloves.
You couldn't get hit as much.
You couldn't hit each other as much, either.
Like, you couldn't just...
Like modern boxing, where you just flowed with punches and got crazy with punches, you couldn't do that.
You'd break your hands.
You had to be much more judicious with where you hit people, and they clinched a lot.
Those old school boxers, they would grab each other and wrestle each other a lot and punch each other in the clinch.
There was a lot more of that than there is now.
It's a different world.
So I guess they, just because in heaven, tiny gloves or no gloves, they just decided they're going to try to lean away from the punches more and just kind of jab at each other with knuckles.
You can't just wade in like, I mean, you could if you were Mike Tyson, but they just didn't know how to do it right back then either.
Like, even if you watch If you watch modern boxing, like you watch Canelo Alvarez versus Gennady Golovkin, and you see two of the highest level guys in the game go at each other, it looks so much different than watching old school boxing.
Old school boxing was like, you had Sugar Ray Robinson who could have fought and been a world champion today, and then a bunch of guys he beat the shit out of, and then you have a bunch of guys that have one kind of style, and there's inconsistencies in the greatness.
Some of them look like Marvin Hagler could have been a world champion today.
And then other ones, you go back way far back, and you go, hmm, this guy's got this weird fucking style.
I wonder if his style is just derived because of the little gloves.
They just didn't know as much about boxing then.
Go watch an old Jim Jeffries fight, and then imagine what Lennox Lewis would do to him.
If Conor McGregor was going to fight Floyd Mayweather in MMA, it is as close to 100% as anything ever gets ever.
Because if you think Floyd is all of a sudden going to become this...
Fucking one-punch destroyer like John the Beast Mugabe in the 1980s or whatever the fuck that was.
If you think that's gonna happen out of nowhere, you're crazy.
That's not what's gonna happen.
What's gonna happen is he's probably gonna punch Conor in the face a couple of times.
It's probably gonna suck, but Conor's gonna get a hold of him and then he's gonna be like a baby.
And if that doesn't happen, he'll kick Floyd's legs out from under him.
He'll kick his legs sideways.
He'll kick them from the outside.
He'll kick them from the inside.
He'll stay way the fuck away from any sort of a range where Floyd can punch him.
It'll be a completely alien range for Floyd.
And every time Floyd goes in, front kick to the stomach.
Boom!
Front kick to the stomach.
Boom!
Front kick to the stomach.
How many of those can you take?
Okay, boom!
Inside leg kick.
Boom!
Outside leg kick.
He's laughing at you now.
Now he's talking shit and you realize you gotta get past those legs.
You try to close the distance.
Boom!
Spinning back kick to the liver.
Fuck!
What are you gonna do now?
What are you gonna do now?
You're gonna be picked apart until he decides to take you to the ground and cut your face open with elbows.
How about that?
How about he pins your right arm down with his left shin, gets on top of you, and just starts smashing the edge of the elbow into your eye sockets, into your nose, cuts across your forehead, slices you open like a fucking melon.
You don't have a chance.
No one has a chance that hasn't had a long history of grappling and getting kicked.
It's like a regular boxer, especially the best ever like Floyd, is phenomenal at what he does.
But if you put takedowns and kicks into that, it changes everything.
Well, I know he's talked to Tyron Woodley, and Tyron Woodley was apparently willing to help him prepare.
That would be very interesting, because Woodley's had some issues with Conor.
I don't think he's going to fight Conor, though.
I think if he does choose to fight MMA, I really believe the move is, the correct move is, he fights someone like CM Punk.
Because with CM, you've got a guy who's been training in MMA for a long time now.
It's been a few years.
Not a long time, but a few years now.
He had one MMA fight in the UFC, but was very overmatched.
It really wasn't fair, like, for him.
That kid, I mean, it's just the difference between the two of them.
You know, Mickey Gall is a real, professional, elite fighter.
I mean, he can beat really good guys.
He's just not in that world like CM Punk's a 40 year old guy who is a professional entertainer Who is basically a beginner, but he knows enough where you would we would bet money on him He knows enough for you like imagine if CM Punk who is a big guy he cuts down to 170 and compared to Floyd Floyd's fought it like I think he fought it started his career I want to say 130,
135. Go to Floyd Mayweather's beginning fights.
But at the very least, he's definitely fought at 145. As a grown man, he's fought at 155. CM Punk's way bigger.
He's just a way bigger guy.
So if he could figure out a way to get the fight to the ground and lock in something simple, like a guillotine, if he has a good guillotine, that's what I would say.
If I was going to work with a guy like that, I would say, we're going to concentrate on one fucking choke and we're going to get that thing down to laser beam.
Perfect precision.
So just if you just spent all your time doing like one Marcelo Garcia style choke, just figured out one good choke, one where you know that if you get that chin down, you tuck it in and slap it on, one choke, whatever it is, that you know how to close that fucker up 90% of the time on people that know how to defend.
There's a lot of guys who have that.
Like maybe they have a triangle or maybe they have a head and arm.
Head and arm choke is a good one.
That's a good one to master.
Some guys just finish most people with that one choke.
If he just had that and just got Floyd to the ground and just got his neck, it's super possible that he could win.
It's possible that he could win.
But it's also possible that Floyd can win.
That's what makes that interesting.
Because Floyd is still one of the best boxers of all time, if not the best.
Still a fucking elite athlete.
Still light speed in there.
Like with his footwork and his movement, his head movement.
He's so fast!
He's gonna be way faster than CM Punk.
So if CM Punk can't get a hold of him, and every time he moves in, he gets his face lit up.
With a dude who's fast as fuck with six ounce gloves.
Now he's got four ounce gloves on.
Very little padding.
And he's catching you right on the chin.
And you can't do shit about it.
You're trying to close the distance and he's stutter-stepping and moving in front of you.
And CM Punk is not like the best kicker in the world.
He's balling on a level that neither of us could ever understand.
You know how much money you have to spend to fly everywhere in private jets and have limos everywhere you go and have five Bentleys and six Ferraris and all the shit that that guy has?
How much money it takes to maintain that lifestyle and then he's got a strip club and he's got a giant mansion He's got a bunch of people working for him all the time and he spends on everything that dude buys half million dollar watches He's just always buying shit.
He buys the most ridiculous shit and puts it on his Instagram And gambles like crazy crazy gambling like bet a million dollars on a fucking basketball game Yo, did he win?
The worst is when they go on and off intermittently in the night.
They just wake you up in the middle of the night.
When we were at the Detroit Fillmore, they were talking about how men used to come in there during, you know, like whatever the fuck year it was when they invented this, when they built this amazing theater in Detroit.
But it was one of the first places in town that got air conditioning.
So people would buy a ticket just to come in and sleep.
Because it was so hot in the summertime.
And then they'd go there and they'd be like, oh...
He has no cell phone or email address, revered by locals for having escaped from the shackles of modern society.
He's the champion of the 80-mile ultramarathon, aptly named the Death Race.
Abbey is the oldest person to have ever finished the race.
Very fascinating, man.
But here's the thing, the guy seems content.
How many 76 year olds do you run into that are depressed, that don't seem content, that don't seem to have any vitality?
I mean, we have to accept What life is going to give all of us and it's a fucking an end where your body's failing and you and I are starting to see that now with a shit vision, you know, I see it now with my My ability to recover from injuries like special especially this tendonitis over this tendonitis in my elbow and It's really shocking.
Because I never had real tendinitis before.
I didn't know how long it takes.
I figured, ah, it's like a pulled muscle.
Give it a couple months, it'll be alright.
No.
No, a couple months later, I still feel that fucking thing.
I've done a lot of shit to it, too.
Stem cells, PRP, Regenikine.
It's getting better.
But shit is not quick to heal.
It takes forever, and you've got to be real delicate with it.