Speaker | Time | Text |
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So Jamie Vernon has some Facebook stock for sale. | ||
He's uploaded it to Craigslist. | ||
Take it. | ||
Take it off my hands. | ||
I think it'll bounce back. | ||
If you guys don't know what we're talking about, Facebook, apparently... | ||
Jamie, you were the one who first told me about it. | ||
Why don't you fill people in? | ||
Well, from what I saw, there's something going on. | ||
I think the company is called Cambridge Analytica. | ||
What I've also then learned is that Steve Bannon used to be the VP of this company. | ||
But that was before he was in the Trump campaign. | ||
And they are... | ||
Responsible for scraping millions of users' personal information, I think, through a couple apps, maybe? | ||
Like a personality app, if someone took one of those- Like a personality quiz, right? | ||
Like those online quizzes? | ||
Clickbait polls and stuff. | ||
But let's be... | ||
Those are morons that answer those things, right? | ||
For the most part. | ||
Or people that are super bored. | ||
And that's how you get, most of the time, how you get your Facebook password stolen is from those things. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Or from sneaky emails that tell you your account's been compromised. | ||
Please re-enter your password. | ||
And you're like, it's okay. | ||
Well, it doesn't say Facebook on the URL. They can be sneaky with their URLs, too. | ||
Like, put something in front of it and then Facebook. | ||
And you're like, oh, it looks like Facebook. | ||
You know? | ||
So, the FTC is looking into this case right now, apparently, as of yesterday. | ||
And what I read is they face up to a potentially $40,000 fine for every infraction, which would total over $2 trillion. | ||
What? | ||
Their stock has tanked. | ||
I think it was like 8% yesterday. | ||
It's at 8.5% so far today. | ||
It's down to $165 a share. | ||
It was like $185 two days ago. | ||
So, and then a lot of people then are also now talking about just getting rid of their Facebook account altogether. | ||
I talked about this last night. | ||
I'm on the actual fence of doing that just because I can't take it anymore. | ||
That's the only place I go to where it's just I get annoyed. | ||
I get in fights. | ||
I have to see my sister talk about Trump every day. | ||
It's just upsetting now. | ||
It's a very good forum for people that are into political arguments. | ||
Like political arguments, gay rights arguments, there's a lot of like, that's like one of the last places where it's okay to say that you don't think gay people should be married. | ||
It's like, you know, I just know some people that I probably shouldn't know anymore. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And occasionally, you know, we're on my real Facebook page, which I never go to. | ||
Like, if I go to it once a year, it's a lot. | ||
And that's where all the fake news stuff is. | ||
Like, I thought Pam Anderson died the other day, and it was just one of those fake news stories, and that's always where you find it, is on Facebook. | ||
Whenever you go and read an article and those things at the bottom, they're like, you should see what she looks like now. | ||
And there's like 30 of them. | ||
Like, wait a minute. | ||
They're just throwing shit at you. | ||
They just literally are like, come on, you're going to bite on one of these. | ||
Come on, what is it? | ||
Kevin Costner? | ||
You can't believe what he looks like now. | ||
Remember that girl from Precious? | ||
You can't believe it! | ||
How often does it work, though? | ||
You check every so often, right? | ||
No, I don't anymore. | ||
unidentified
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I do. | |
But they got me a few times in the early days. | ||
Let's Google it again. | ||
I thought that those were below... | ||
See, it's a sneaky thing because they took the place of real stories. | ||
It's like it used to... | ||
go to CNN and everything would be CNN. | ||
But now you go to CNN, everything is CNN up until the line and then below the line, it's like sponsored content. | ||
Like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
This isn't... | ||
This is so sneaky, because this is barely an ad. | ||
This is like an article on CNN that takes you to some new place, and every page, like you have to keep changing pages, and every page is like one paragraph. | ||
Like one paragraph on what Kevin Costner looked like in 1980. Okay, what about 81? | ||
Boom, next page. | ||
In 81, Kevin Costner started to gain weight. | ||
Yeah, and then there's usually not the photo that you want to see. | ||
You know how, like, the thumbnail has, like, Kevin Costner's head blown apart, and you're like, I want to see that picture! | ||
Right, and it's never in there. | ||
It's not even in there. | ||
It's fake. | ||
Sons of bitches. | ||
unidentified
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Clickbait. | |
Yeah, that and Snapchat, I think, should go. | ||
I might be out and done with this, too. | ||
Well, the Snapchat, Rihanna, Chris Brown thing is crazy. | ||
The fact that somebody greenlit that, it cost them almost a billion dollars. | ||
Like, instantly. | ||
Weren't they down like some 800 million dollars or some fucking insane number? | ||
Yeah, the second time that's happened in a couple weeks. | ||
Yeah, one of them was like Kylie Jenner saying it sucks, right? | ||
Yeah, the hottest Kardashian. | ||
So, 800 million they dropped after Rihanna condemned ad making light of domestic violence. | ||
So the question was in the poll, would you rather slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown? | ||
Like, what? | ||
unidentified
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What would you do? | |
Look at this. | ||
Look at that. | ||
Of course everyone wants to punch. | ||
Who wants to slap Rihanna? | ||
There's a lot of dudes. | ||
There's a lot of assholes out there. | ||
There's got to be probably a sizable percentage of the people who clicked slap Rihanna just because they don't like their life. | ||
unidentified
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Like, fuck that bitch. | |
I would like to see what the results were of this. | ||
Yeah, well, you would have to join the Bannon administration, and then they get you involved in Cambridge Analytics, and you've got to give up your fingerprints. | ||
I don't know how anybody could say, yeah, put that on Snapchat. | ||
Like, that seems so fucking insane. | ||
That seems like a joke, like in a movie, you know? | ||
Where, like, you talk about, like, a clueless executive, you know? | ||
Like, this is my idea, what do you think? | ||
Lots of clicks? | ||
Lots of clicks? | ||
You know, cut to him with a sad face, holding his box of stuff as he's being kicked out of his office, and stay out! | ||
That doesn't seem like something as huge as Snapchat. | ||
How could they do that? | ||
The whole redesign they did recently, it already was confusing and annoying to begin with. | ||
I don't use it at all. | ||
Now it's even worse. | ||
They even had a website, a petition to switch back. | ||
I think they got up to a million users saying, we want the old Snapchat back. | ||
And they were like, no, it's better now. | ||
We're not listening to you. | ||
Well, Instagram listened, right? | ||
They went back to things being in chronological order. | ||
Did they do that? | ||
They tested it out as like a beta test. | ||
It hasn't happened for everyone yet, but it probably will happen or it's going to become an option soon. | ||
Yeah, nobody likes this nonsense. | ||
I'll look at my feed from real recent and it says, I'll look at someone's post and I'll say, this is yesterday. | ||
And then I look at the time, it says 26 hours ago. | ||
I'm like, what in the fuck is that? | ||
I hate that. | ||
Why are you showing me something from a day ago? | ||
Yeah, like, or I'm going to be here tonight, and that was from like three days ago. | ||
I already missed this concert. | ||
Have you ever seen this, Joe? | ||
This came out recently, this Snapchat app, uh... | ||
Opened up their map. | ||
It's called the Snap Map. | ||
So these are where the hot zones are where snaps are taking place right now. | ||
What? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Universal Studios. | ||
It's basically like a stalker map for people that don't have everything private but like this is Universal Studios so it's a hot zone. | ||
This is the Hollywood and Highland hot zone over here in UCLA hot zone where all the kids are. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
So you can like watch where trends or things are happening while they're happening and whatnot. | ||
Makes sense. | ||
I mean, that they can track that. | ||
And those spots, I would assume, you know, like Disneyland, right? | ||
It's got to be a hot zone. | ||
Like anywhere there's a giant population area. | ||
But what? | ||
I don't even know what the fuck a snap is. | ||
Is it just like a picture? | ||
It's just like Instagram. | ||
It's like Instagram. | ||
10 second picture or video or whatever. | ||
But it goes away? | ||
If you want it to. | ||
It doesn't have to anymore. | ||
That used to be the idea. | ||
Yeah, it just disappeared. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But everyone competed and so now they have to... | ||
That'll keep it around. | ||
It's so funny how privacy has changed over the years. | ||
Remember AOL 1 or 2, where you used to have member directory, where you just type in your address, and it'll show you all the users near your house, and then you could just instant message these people out of the blue and go, Hey, you look cute. | ||
I live down the street from you. | ||
You want to hook up? | ||
They even showed where you were. | ||
Well, we were talking about this yesterday with Kurt Metzger. | ||
We were talking about Barry Crimmins, how Barry Crimmins, you know, Barry Crimmins has a, there's a documentary that Bobcat made for him about him called, They Call Me Lucky? | ||
Is that what it's called? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or just Lucky? | ||
Call me Lucky? | ||
Call me Lucky? | ||
Anyway, in the documentary it details his battle with AOL. Where AOL was allowing people to trade child porn. | ||
And they had a policy where if three strikes and you're out. | ||
So you could trade child porn. | ||
Call me Lucky. | ||
You could trade child porn three times. | ||
And it's fucking insane. | ||
And he actually was a big part of that trial and bringing it to trial. | ||
Yeah, the thing is insane. | ||
That wasn't that long ago. | ||
That was 20 years ago. | ||
20 years ago, you could trade child porn on AOL. Jesus. | ||
And if you got caught, they just said, hey, don't do that again. | ||
Like, now they come to your fucking house and they lock you up. | ||
Like, it's really interesting how much that's advanced. | ||
You know? | ||
This is what I was going to show you guys a second ago. | ||
I just saw a story yesterday that never before they thought iPhones could be cracked, and now this company has this little box, which there's a picture right here. | ||
It's not that expensive. | ||
$15,000 gets the police 300 license unlocks, and they can spend double and have unlimited unlocks, and it will unlock every iPhone newer than an iPhone 5S, it said. | ||
Their pricing structure is weird because if you get the $15,000 one, you're only allowed to do it at a location that's like geo-fenced in. | ||
You're not allowed to do it anywhere else. | ||
Hold on a second. | ||
You said newer than an iPhone 5S? 5S and newer. | ||
And newer. | ||
So if you just have a 5... | ||
I guess. | ||
unidentified
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You can't do shit? | |
It would be the older operating system, I think. | ||
People are going to go to flip phones. | ||
But you might not be able to use those anymore. | ||
It's just so convenient to do things on your phone. | ||
That's part of the problem. | ||
You know what I've taken to doing lately? | ||
Using Apple Pay at the grocery store? | ||
Ooh, it's so exciting. | ||
It's so exciting. | ||
It's like I'm living in the future. | ||
I double-click, it sees my face. | ||
Ooh! | ||
I just bought one of those little square devices you know so like if you're selling shirts after a show or something and it has that built into it so you could just people are just using their iPhones on it whoa yeah $40 device you get on Amazon that's crazy using it with your iMac is good too yeah it's a your iMac yeah if you buy something on your iMac and it's linked to your phone it'll just like you want to use apple pay and then you pull out your phone and confirm with your face or your well on my laptop it is a fingerprint for like for apple pay yeah Yeah, | ||
unidentified
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that's... | |
Be paid with your Apple Watch though like a pimp yet. | ||
unidentified
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Jesus! | |
It's too much. | ||
I mean, like, this has got to be escalating, right? | ||
So the people that are sitting back, the forecasters, they're looking like, what is technology going to be in 10 years? | ||
Like, what are they seeing? | ||
What's their predictions? | ||
Because this is, uh, it's getting into your body somehow. | ||
It's coming in one of the holes. | ||
It's like a dude right now rubbing his dick on the outside, trying to find a place to stick it in. | ||
He's got it on your wrist. | ||
He's got it in your pocket. | ||
He's trying to get it in your body. | ||
He's got it in your ears. | ||
They're putting, you know, earbuds in, like those AirPods. | ||
These are the best. | ||
You do fucking Siri with a double tap on your airpods. | ||
It knows when you're taking them out of your ear so it pauses your music or video. | ||
It's incredible. | ||
They're incredible. | ||
And they don't fall out when you work out either. | ||
I thought that was gonna be a problem. | ||
They're not as good. | ||
They're not as good for working out. | ||
But what is, is what's actually even better to me is that for the sound is those Beats 3s. | ||
I got those wireless Beats ones. | ||
Those things hook over your ear with that little rubber thing and they lock in place. | ||
You could get a serious workout in with those on. | ||
The AirPods, they do fall off. | ||
They do fall off occasionally. | ||
They have these skins too to make it a little tighter. | ||
I found on Amazon. | ||
Yeah, it's just like this generic thing that goes over it to kind of tighten it up in your ear. | ||
It's an awesome idea. | ||
It's not perfect. | ||
It would be perfect if they hooked onto your ear. | ||
But then they wouldn't be fitting into that box. | ||
So it's almost like they can't be perfect. | ||
Because part of the thing is that they fit in that little tiny-ass box. | ||
You pop it open, it's got a little green light on, and it's a battery pack too. | ||
And it's magnetic. | ||
I mean, shit, that's slick. | ||
That's slick. | ||
No one saw that coming either. | ||
That's one of those weird ones where nobody saw it coming. | ||
You know? | ||
It wasn't really necessary. | ||
No one saw it being necessary until someone made it, I think. | ||
I'll tell you what's not necessary is that HomePod they released. | ||
That thing's just a dump. | ||
That thing sucks. | ||
I mean, it sounds amazing, but Siri is so stupid compared to Alexa. | ||
It's weird. | ||
Is it? | ||
Alexa's just smart as fuck. | ||
So Amazon's Alexa, Siri, and then there's... | ||
What about the Google Home? | ||
Have you tried that one? | ||
Nah, I didn't. | ||
I heard that one's supposed to be better, too. | ||
I think it probably is. | ||
I mean, if it's the same as the Android phone one, it's good. | ||
Series like that girl that was really hot but decided to stop working out You know and she's like she's still pretty hot, but then all these other girls are going to the gym all the time Look at them like look at her butt though. | ||
Look at her legs and series just kind of Siri's kind of sloppy. | ||
It's pretty annoying now how many times my Siri and my Alexis go off just from people going, hey Siri, you know, like on a podcast or something and it just ruins everything. | ||
Yeah, if you have it set like that, I mean, we've probably triggered a ton of people just you doing that right there. | ||
People always complain when I say that. | ||
And then there's the hey Google complaint too. | ||
Same thing. | ||
You say hey Google and someone's got their system or whatever it is. | ||
What is the thing you're supposed to say? | ||
Hey Google? | ||
You should be able to put anything you want, though, by now. | ||
Right. | ||
Hey, fuckface! | ||
Yes, sir? | ||
It should be fuckface. | ||
That would be the best. | ||
Just call your computer fuckface. | ||
My Alexa did one of those things where, out of the blue, I think it was in the news recently, where you're just sitting there, and she just starts laughing. | ||
Yeah, I heard about that. | ||
Like a witch. | ||
What is that? | ||
I would shoot that thing. | ||
I would take it outside and fill it full of holes. | ||
Fuck you. | ||
I can't fucking sleep with a robot laughing in my house. | ||
Fuck you. | ||
Wake up to get a drink in the middle of the night and see her laugh. | ||
She also, it's so weird how many Easter eggs she has. | ||
She also has like seven songs now. | ||
Like you go, hey Siri, sing me a love song. | ||
She will sing you a love song. | ||
Alexa or Siri? | ||
Which one? | ||
Alexa, I'm sorry. | ||
Alexa. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Sing me a love song. | ||
She has love songs ready? | ||
Yeah, that she sings. | ||
And she has like a rap song and she has one about technology. | ||
I always wonder why Stephen Hawking never upgraded his voice. | ||
He didn't want to, I think. | ||
I think I remember reading that or something. | ||
He liked keeping it that way. | ||
Yeah, I get. | ||
I get it. | ||
That's why he kept it that way. | ||
But I mean, what kind of logic behind that is that? | ||
Maybe he just wanted to keep it creepy. | ||
He wanted to keep it obviously electronic. | ||
Whereas there's some places you can get to with some of these new voice things. | ||
What was that movie? | ||
She? | ||
The movie with Joaquin Phoenix? | ||
That was an interesting movie. | ||
Yeah, they could have paid anybody to be his voice, I would imagine. | ||
They had the time, the technology to figure it out. | ||
He could have been Samuel L. Jackson. | ||
Yeah, for Stephen Hawking? | ||
Yeah, but it probably would sound off like this. | ||
It wouldn't sound like a real conversation. | ||
You know, it'd be all... | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's like, you've heard them do that with voice, like when they take people's voices and they chop them up and try to piece together some sort of audio of something that they didn't really say, if they're being obvious about it. | ||
But you know, there's technology right now, like Photoshop, that's going to allow people to stitch audio together. | ||
I believe we've talked about it on the podcast before. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's getting better and better. | ||
There's a Radiolab episode where they showed where it's at now, and it's one of those things where right now it's not ready. | ||
It's still, like, if you heard it, you'd go, oh, that's not Brian. | ||
That's a fake conversation put together from a bunch of shit Brian said. | ||
It's like that porn, that fake porn. | ||
That's even more crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because they could just take your face, like, take pictures and pretty seamlessly stitch your face onto the character. | ||
With emotions, with opening mouths, with blinking and stuff. | ||
I've seen some really good ones still, like the girl from Harry Potter. | ||
unidentified
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Ay-yi-yi. | |
Well, it's what they're doing with Snapchat, right? | ||
When someone pretends to be Rick from The Walking Dead. | ||
Like, Delia did that. | ||
And I'm like, God damn, that's pretty close. | ||
It's pretty close. | ||
Like, I know that it's obviously that there's a thing going on here, but it's pretty close to what it would really look like. | ||
Fuck. | ||
It's good enough. | ||
It's good enough to make you go, whoa, this wasn't around before. | ||
Like, if somebody showed you that Snapchat thing that all the girls do where they put dog faces on and shit and barf, barf and pretend to be a puppy dog or unicorns or whatever, if someone showed you that just ten years ago, you would be, holy shit, you wouldn't believe it. | ||
You wouldn't believe it. | ||
You would look at, like, that thing that lets you become Rick from The Walking Dead and you would go, what? | ||
What the fuck, man? | ||
This is incredible. | ||
If someone showed you that in 1998, do you know how mind-blowing and groundbreaking that would be? | ||
Now it's a part of an app that's on your phone that sits in your pocket. | ||
Like, what happened? | ||
And how quick did this happen? | ||
Which hole is it going in? | ||
It's probably going to be a suppository. | ||
Just so that the alien... | ||
It's like an ironic... | ||
That the aliens have figured out a way to mock us while defeating us. | ||
And the way is just to give you the most ultimate bliss with this tiny little robot dick. | ||
You don't even feel it. | ||
Just put this robot dick in your butt. | ||
It's appository. | ||
And because your butt doesn't have like skin, it's not the same. | ||
It's like open tissue. | ||
That's why it's so good for getting infected. | ||
So this little robot can just seamlessly interact with all that open tissue. | ||
And that's how you connect with God. | ||
They're gonna talk us in just the way they did with these Cambridge analytics. | ||
They sneak you in the door. | ||
You think it's a personality quiz. | ||
You're really electing a dumb president. | ||
You know, same thing. | ||
You think, well, I'm just gonna go meet God. | ||
No. | ||
You're giving birth to the robot empire. | ||
Do little tiny robot dicks. | ||
It's not impossible to think. | ||
Look, we're willing to put glasses over our face so we can see better. | ||
Why wouldn't we put little metal bullets Up our butt. | ||
If you found out that it makes life infinitely better. | ||
Like, we can't believe that this is the case. | ||
The only way to do it is up your butt. | ||
You know, we've tried, and then people are like, oh, come on, I'm not doing that. | ||
And then a few guys do it, and they're walking around your neighborhood, and fucking sparkles are coming out of their eyes. | ||
They're so happy. | ||
They're so happy they couldn't be happier. | ||
And you're like, goddammit, I need to try it. | ||
People are flying. | ||
They're flying around your neighborhood. | ||
Because they have that robot dick. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'd do that. | ||
Like Andy Stumpf in the wingsuit. | ||
They're doing that around your neighborhood, but they control it themselves. | ||
And it's all because of this robot dick that bends space and time. | ||
Do you just have to do it once, or is it an everyday thing? | ||
Keep it in your ass. | ||
When you take it out of your ass, then you become a normal human. | ||
And then eventually, they figure out a way... | ||
To keep it in there? | ||
To keep it in there, yeah. | ||
They, like, bolt it to the wall of your asshole. | ||
Your strap. | ||
Where's your butt strap? | ||
Yeah, you gotta get it cleaned out every now and then, because shit gets caked on it on the way out. | ||
It doesn't always get the full signal to your skin. | ||
Do you do it to yourself or do you have to have somebody do it? | ||
I can do it to myself. | ||
I'm not a pussy. | ||
I need to go to some doctor. | ||
Stick a robot dick in my butt. | ||
Come on. | ||
It would suck if you were bungee jumping and your robot dick fell out. | ||
And then all of a sudden, you know, sadness in the middle of the day. | ||
That would be crazy. | ||
Look, we're already doing that with pills, right? | ||
People that are addicted to Xanax, and I know a few, that shit apparently makes you feel great. | ||
Is that the upper or downer? | ||
That's the there's no problems in the world drug. | ||
It's an anxiety reliever. | ||
And the people that take it, man, they get hooked on that shit. | ||
Don Marrere is very open about it. | ||
He takes that shit every day. | ||
He's so great. | ||
He's great. | ||
We had him last night on Kill Tony. | ||
He's the best at that. | ||
No one's better at Kill Tony than Don Marrere. | ||
He's so quick, you know? | ||
He knows, like, the most ridiculous shit to say. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
But he likes them Xanax. | ||
I know a lot of... | ||
Stanhope likes Xanax, too. | ||
He's just joking around about if he got out of a plane and kissed the floor when he landed in America, it would be because he saw Xanax on the ground. | ||
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I know. | |
They love those things. | ||
I'm scared of that shit. | ||
I don't want anything that makes me feel like there's no problems. | ||
I think the only reason why a lot of people don't do it is because they don't have a friend that has a bunch of Xanax that's constantly giving them Xanax or something. | ||
Because I never see pills or, you know, I'm not around that road at all. | ||
Like, oh, I don't even know what a Xanax looks like, you know? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I bet if we had a friend that always had Xanax on and always be like, man, you want Xanax? | ||
You know, I bet that's how you get into it. | ||
I think somebody just tells you you need to relax. | ||
unidentified
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You know, you're like, there's so much anxiety. | |
I mean, the world is filled with possibility. | ||
The world is filled with danger. | ||
The world's filled with good things and bad things. | ||
I mean, there's a lot of shit going on. | ||
If you don't have some anxiety, it must be because you're just choosing to not pay attention. | ||
Like anybody who lives in New York City. | ||
You live in New York City. | ||
Imagine all the shit that's going on around you all the time while you're just sitting there. | ||
You're supposed to be aware of it. | ||
Just supposed to hope everybody keeps together. | ||
Supposed to hope everybody's cool. | ||
You're in your apartment. | ||
You're on the 13th floor of a 60-floor building. | ||
It's filled with people. | ||
There's another one right next to it. | ||
There's another one right next to that. | ||
They go all the way down the street. | ||
They're filled with people. | ||
People are fucking everywhere. | ||
And you're supposed to just be chilled out? | ||
That doesn't make no sense to me, man. | ||
I'm with you if you're nervous. | ||
If you're anxious, you're driving in traffic every day and people are on their phones and not paying attention and everything you eat gives you cancer. | ||
You're not anxious? | ||
I don't understand you. | ||
You should be anxious. | ||
This is the argument for not living the way we live. | ||
It's not the argument for taking a pill that kills that part of your brain that makes you anxious. | ||
Do you audibly sigh a lot? | ||
Mostly for humor. | ||
I don't audibly sigh by myself. | ||
But I'll do it like that, like for a joke. | ||
I catch myself more audibly sighing more and more the older I get. | ||
Just like little things where I'll just look at something like... | ||
Oh, that kind of shit. | ||
But I didn't used to do that. | ||
I'm going to go to oy. | ||
Oy vey is a good one. | ||
But it's like the things I grew up with, oy vey. | ||
Is it culture appropriation? | ||
I have to ask my Jewish friends if I'm allowed to start saying oy vey. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because nobody ever got mad at anybody who wasn't Italian who would say, Maron. | ||
Maron, this girl. | ||
Nobody cares about the use of fungul. | ||
It's not used that often though. | ||
It is in Jersey. | ||
Go to the East Coast. | ||
Go to where those old school guineas landed on boats and fucked each other on the rocks and made a bunch of them and they all stayed there. | ||
What's the Italian horn? | ||
Oh yeah, I had one of those. | ||
I didn't know that was a thing. | ||
It shows you're a moron. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't know where it came from. | ||
We all had them in high school though. | ||
It was like if you had a gold chain with a horn. | ||
Like, wow. | ||
Look, it's stylish. | ||
I did not know that thing existed. | ||
It's called a comicello. | ||
Oh, I've seen that sperm before. | ||
That's probably what it is. | ||
Gold sperm. | ||
Little horn or hornlet, sometimes abbreviated to como, is an Italian amulet or talisman worn to protect against the evil eye. | ||
Or malachio and bad luck in general and historically to promote fertility and virility. | ||
That's the last thing we need to promote fertility in kids in high school wearing those things. | ||
So it is a sperm. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Neapolitan, it's called cumicello or variance thereof. | ||
Are you talking about my sperm? | ||
That's crazy. | ||
It is jizz. | ||
It's jizz on your chest. | ||
You're wearing golden jizz on your chest. | ||
Essentially, right? | ||
The golden jizz will protect you from the evil eye. | ||
unidentified
|
You gave me the evil eye, but I still got my nut off. | |
Oh! | ||
My dad gave this to me. | ||
The fucking evil eye over here! | ||
Yeah, what? | ||
You're wearing it right where a pearl necklace would land, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's foul. | ||
What a foul little amulet. | ||
Imagine they talk those kids into wearing golden jizz around their neck in all these years. | ||
They thought, hey, that fucking evil eye could suck my dick. | ||
How about that? | ||
I'm gonna go out. | ||
I got a good amount of gold chains. | ||
I got a good solid fucking horn here. | ||
Look at that. | ||
Catholic priests probably give them to... | ||
I mean, it looks like cum. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It doesn't even look like a horn. | ||
What kind of fucking horn is that where it's round at the top like a sperm head? | ||
Horns aren't round at the top. | ||
Are they all round at the top? | ||
unidentified
|
It looks like it's swimming upstream, like to the guy's mouth. | |
It fucking does! | ||
It's going in your mouth. | ||
If you go back to those pictures of different ones, is there anyone that has a flat top that looks like a fucking horn? | ||
No, all of them are rounded at the top like jizz. | ||
Those Italian horns. | ||
They're all rounded at the top like jizz. | ||
This is insane. | ||
I don't see any of them that look like... | ||
That's not an Italian horn. | ||
That's the wrong horn. | ||
That's a gay one. | ||
That's some like... | ||
Gucci shit. | ||
Like someone, some designer got a hold of it. | ||
A new take on the Italian horn. | ||
unidentified
|
It's all the rage. | |
Everyone wears it. | ||
Everyone wears it. | ||
Yes, I've got three on. | ||
unidentified
|
Look! | |
I can't believe people wear that shit. | ||
They do. | ||
They can't help themselves. | ||
They grow up in those communities. | ||
I did it too. | ||
I wore one. | ||
You're around a bunch of East Coast Italian people. | ||
They're all wearing it. | ||
You're all wearing it. | ||
It's like, oh, you got your Italian horn? | ||
Huh? | ||
And when I saw the guy that had it on, he took it and goes, yeah, I got it, and then kissed it. | ||
He kissed the jizz. | ||
unidentified
|
It's just my good luck jizz. | |
God bless you. | ||
God bless you. | ||
What saint... | ||
It should be St. Peter, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
I mean, it's gotta be. | ||
Which one's attached to it? | ||
That's, like, weird. | ||
Like, there's always affiliations. | ||
Like, certain saints are attached to certain, you know? | ||
Fucking ridiculous. | ||
It's all those ancient immigrant cultures, but is it any different really than like looking back at like AOL in 1996 trafficking porn? | ||
People are just way different now. | ||
They're just way different. | ||
Like human beings are way more aware of shit today. | ||
Even if they're misinformed, they're at least more aware of a lot of things than they were in 1994, 1996. It's like... | ||
I would say it's like a several-fold increase in how much we're aware of and what we actually look at in the world. | ||
It's a completely different thing now. | ||
Don't you think? | ||
What are we doing today that they're going to look back on and go, those fucking morons. | ||
How did they do that? | ||
Besides circumcision. | ||
Circumcision's a big one. | ||
The one day they're going to stop cutting baby dicks and they're going to look back and go, what in the fuck, people? | ||
This is crazy. | ||
I hope not. | ||
You're taking a baby dick. | ||
You don't want to stand out? | ||
I like a good cut dick. | ||
No, I don't like the uncut ones, man. | ||
They freak me out. | ||
I think we've talked about this. | ||
But the way they look, right? | ||
Yeah, just the look. | ||
I really don't think that affects you. | ||
Unless you're out there sucking dicks on the sneak tip. | ||
I've asked and I've heard they smell more than a regular dick. | ||
Wow, I think you should wash your dick basically overall. | ||
That would be the advice I would give. | ||
unidentified
|
Not my dick. | |
Anybody's dick. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but that's still crazy. | ||
I bet if you trim pussy lips, it'd be easier to take care of that thing, too. | ||
Still crazy. | ||
Don't do that. | ||
It's just nuts. | ||
It's a nutty thing that we've just gotten really accustomed to doing. | ||
Cutting skin off your dick. | ||
Like, why? | ||
What? | ||
And the fact that the majority do that? | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
They're going to look back in 2018. They're going to look back... | ||
At this time period. | ||
And they're gonna go, how is that possible? | ||
That they had the internet, they had all this knowledge, they had all these scientific studies that had been done, they knew about psychology and ideologies, they knew about the health, like, what health benefits, bogus fucking health benefits, oh, less likely to get AIDS. Get the fuck out of here. | ||
Wash your dick. | ||
Everybody watch it. | ||
If you're getting AIDS or not getting AIDS based on the fact that you're circumcised or not circumcised, you are dancing on such a fine edge in your life. | ||
I want to see more data from that study. | ||
I don't want to just see, do you get AIDS? I want to see how fucking, how crazy are you? | ||
The whole thing's crazy. | ||
Cutting baby dicks. | ||
That would be one. | ||
What else? | ||
Tax exempt status for religions. | ||
That one. | ||
Because otherwise, why can't I start a religion right now and get tax exempt status? | ||
Why can't you? | ||
You tell me Scientology can do it? | ||
How many people makes a religion? | ||
Do you have a number? | ||
Give me your number. | ||
Tell me what your numbers are. | ||
How do you know whether or not someone's legit? | ||
How do you decide? | ||
No one should be tax-exempt, especially someone who's taking in shit-fucking-ton piles of money. | ||
If you're some sort of church or whatever, and you're getting donations in the millions and millions of dollars, and you're like one of them Benny Hinn assholes out there driving a Bentley, Amazon Inc. | ||
paid zero federal taxes in 2017. Gets 789 million windfall from new tax law. | ||
They paid zero? | ||
Yeah, so like... | ||
How's that work? | ||
Yeah, that kind of shit shouldn't happen either. | ||
That shouldn't happen either. | ||
But the idea is that a corporation... | ||
Now this is not my idea, so don't think I'm supporting this. | ||
I have to preface this. | ||
But the idea is that corporations shouldn't pay taxes. | ||
Because all the individuals who are making money in that corporation already pay taxes. | ||
This is the argument that I've heard. | ||
And that made me go, oh, okay. | ||
And the argument was, why? | ||
It might have been Peter Schiff. | ||
Did he say that to me? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't think it was on the air. | ||
Might not have been him. | ||
Shit. | ||
Anyway, sidetrack. | ||
The idea is that a corporation is not an individual. | ||
So why should it pay taxes? | ||
It's not a person. | ||
It's a conglomeration of people. | ||
Those people already pay taxes. | ||
The corporation has money that's piled up, right? | ||
And then it's got a value, and it's on the stock market, and it goes up and it goes down. | ||
And they're always kind of looking to improve their bottom line and universal. | ||
Constant growth. | ||
But it's not a person. | ||
I feel like corporations have gotten rights like people over the last 20 plus years. | ||
You're right. | ||
They have. | ||
They've gotten rights in terms of how much they can donate to charities, to, excuse me, political campaigns. | ||
And that used to be not the case. | ||
They used to have a limit. | ||
And now they are like an individual in which they can donate as much money as they want to political campaigns. | ||
And doesn't a corporation also act to defend itself sort of like... | ||
Yes, can you Google that make sure that's true that corporations? | ||
They can donate as much as they want to political campaigns now. | ||
I think that I want to say this is like During the Obama administration Obama Yeah, I think this was during the Obama administration. | ||
It's a disturbing one. | ||
That's a disturbing one to me because that's a lot of influence. | ||
For someone like Amazon, I don't think Amazon's evil. | ||
What's the limit? | ||
But if they wanted to be, I don't know. | ||
I mean, if the limit's like, well, you know, max $3,000, there's no limit? | ||
There should be a limit. | ||
There should be a limit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I don't think there is. | ||
It has to be. | ||
Well, I don't know. | ||
How sad is it that I don't know? | ||
I should know. | ||
Okay. | ||
Let's see what we got here. | ||
I've seen various things. | ||
The one I'm seeing right now is that an S-Corp can deduct up to 50% of its adjusted gross income to be as a qualified contribution. | ||
No, how much money can... | ||
No, there was a law passed. | ||
I know. | ||
I'm looking. | ||
It's not popping up. | ||
How much money... | ||
There was a law passed that stated how much money a corporation can donate to political campaigns. | ||
It was very specific. | ||
That a corporation is seen as an individual. | ||
Look up that. | ||
Corporations seen as individual for donation political campaigns. | ||
It was just... | ||
It's not in anybody's interest that these huge companies like Amazon or anything that size that has fucking billions of dollars that they should just be able to get together And influence a politician with a shit ton of money and then the politician does their bidding and helps them be bigger and stronger and maybe fucks over some people. | ||
Gotta be really careful about that. | ||
Because the politicians could find a way of arguing it. | ||
Well, I could see. | ||
But is that how he would vote without that influence? | ||
No. | ||
So all these politicians that get into those positions are all just influence peddlers. | ||
They're just peddling influence. | ||
They're saying, listen, you know, if you help me, I'll help you. | ||
Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. | ||
They're not looking out for the people that voted them in at all. | ||
They're looking out for the people that paid all the money to make them more prominent so that people would vote them in. | ||
It's very sneaky. | ||
It should have been fixed a long time ago. | ||
If you think of all the shit like insider trading that is illegal, like if Jamie really did know something about Facebook, and then he told us, like, hey dude, shit's going down. | ||
Get rid of all your Facebook stock right now. | ||
And you and I went crazy and got rid of it. | ||
We could get in trouble. | ||
Paul Ryan's in trouble for right now. | ||
Some bank thing he got. | ||
Supposedly he sold a bunch of stock. | ||
Oh, so someone told him and he bailed. | ||
Yeah. | ||
See, how is that illegal? | ||
But it's not illegal... | ||
To influence politicians and have corporations spend shit tons of money and then obviously get preferential treatment and obviously get laws pushed. | ||
Here it is. | ||
Paul Ryan sold shares on same day as private briefing of banking crisis. | ||
Whoops. | ||
That seems like a dumb move, dude. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
You got to take the hit, son. | ||
unidentified
|
Smooth move. | |
No, you got to take the hit there, fellow. | ||
You can't do that. | ||
That's terrible. | ||
Somebody told me you better sell your Toys R Us stock right now. | ||
Haha, that's what I hear. | ||
But this thing about this guy, like, when can he, like, trade those stocks? | ||
Yeah, I don't know how long I have to wait, because that's what Martha Stewart got in trouble for, too, right? | ||
Well, she lied. | ||
Oh, about doing it? | ||
Yeah, she got, like, a, they found a note that had, like, the information on her or something. | ||
Goddamn, my memory's dogshit lately. | ||
Just real quick on the tax thing. | ||
I think there is a limit, but then that's why super PACs became a thing. | ||
So you can donate to another organization that's not directly to them, and then that group can give the money as they see fit. | ||
But that's just a workaround, like a loophole. | ||
Do you know what the limit is, though? | ||
I believe it's $2,700 for an individual, and then a company can give up to $10,000 or something. | ||
So it's $2,700 for an individual. | ||
That's interesting. | ||
Per election. | ||
Still a lot of money. | ||
But not as much money as you would think it would be, right? | ||
Like you would think it'd be like a million. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You know, like there's a bunch of fucking wackadoos that would give a million. | ||
The thing is, man, there's weird things that happen with politicians that you don't factor in when you think about bribery. | ||
And one of the weird ones is, did you ever see that movie about the financial crisis? | ||
Which one was it called? | ||
Inside job. | ||
Inside job. | ||
It's fucking amazing. | ||
But one of the things that it details is how many of these guys were professors that were making these suggestions, like working as consultants to the government, making these suggestions that wind out to be horribly irresponsible financially, and then those guys get giant jobs afterwards that pay fucking millions of dollars. | ||
And you're like, wait a minute. | ||
What happened here? | ||
You're a professor. | ||
You made these sort of, you know, weird suggestions that if you looked at, like in the movie Inside Job, he goes over it with these professors like, how the fuck could you have thought this? | ||
Why did you push this? | ||
Why were you guys promoting that? | ||
And then they go on to get these gigantic fucking jobs at banks. | ||
And you're like, oh, this is crazy. | ||
This is like a clear path. | ||
Like, do the right thing here, and then you're going to make $5 million a year here. | ||
And so they all do it. | ||
And this movie's really good, because in one of the scenes, he's talking to one of these big-time bank guys, and in the middle of talking to him, the guy realizes what's going on. | ||
He gets a real hostile, but he keeps going like his arrogance allows him to like keep battling this guy But he keeps like looking dumber and dumber because the guy was doing the interview is really good The guy who put together this documentary is really good. | ||
It's an it's a fascinating documentary that gives you a real insight into how complicated complicated and fucking Distorted the system is like it's very distorted for those people that are just like those rich banker guys All they're doing is moving money. | ||
Imagine having all that money and what do you do? | ||
Put money over here and pick it up. | ||
Aren't you glad you're not doing that though? | ||
I know. | ||
I don't understand it. | ||
I just couldn't I I just can't imagine we still use it. | ||
I mean, I'm sure someone like Peter Schiff could come and school me and explain it to me, but I Feel like it should be like one goat equals one piece of gold As soon as you go higher than that it just as soon as you get into speculation and Shorting and oh my god Buying and selling stock in a company and a company can crash like that. | ||
And that's like, unfortunately, what's happened to Babies R Us and Toys R Us is that they weren't getting killed by Amazon. | ||
It was just them taking debt in and like this finance company that bought them just pretty much, you know, going crazy in debt from bad spending and it had nothing to do with Toys R Us' business. | ||
They were doing fine. | ||
It was all about the finance company that owned them. | ||
That's a sad thing, man. | ||
But it might be a good thing for mom and pop toy stores. | ||
Because here's the thing about toy stores. | ||
As a parent, kids love to go to the fucking toy store. | ||
It's a fun time. | ||
It's like, we're going to the toy store! | ||
Woo! | ||
Like, if my kids would do something good or we would make a promise, like, hey, if we're going to do this project and when we're done with this project, you guys can pick out a toy. | ||
So you give them, like, a work-reward type situation. | ||
Dude, they get fucking crazy. | ||
They're running down those aisles. | ||
There's all these stuffed animals and all these games, and it's an exciting place for little kids. | ||
You can't replicate that online. | ||
It's just not the same. | ||
You're looking through Amazon.com or something like that. | ||
It's great that it's very convenient. | ||
You can just press... | ||
Press one click and have it sent to your house. | ||
But for toy stores in particular, this is a colossal... | ||
There's an opening for sure for another company. | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is the time to start a new toy store. | ||
Because look at all the toy stores are gone. | ||
Like KB Toys. | ||
Remember in the mall, there was a toy store. | ||
That was bought by the company that bought Toys R Us. | ||
So that's gone too now. | ||
All the toy stores are gone. | ||
There was a little place up here in Calabasas. | ||
It was a real nice, man. | ||
Real tiny little mom-and-pop place. | ||
They had real cool toys there. | ||
Kids used to love it. | ||
But the guy was telling me, like, guy or gal? | ||
unidentified
|
Might have been a woman. | |
I'm a sexist. | ||
I don't remember who it was. | ||
I'm thinking it might be a woman, though. | ||
But they were saying that—no, it was a guy. | ||
Now I remember. | ||
He couldn't keep it open to make money. | ||
He's only doing it for fun. | ||
Because he enjoyed it. | ||
It was just barely breaking even. | ||
But it's probably one of those toy stores where it was mostly puppets and educational toys and it wasn't like G.I. Joe's. | ||
They had everything. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
They had a lot of stuff. | ||
They had regular action figures for comic books and stuff like that. | ||
What are you doing? | ||
There's this documentary on Netflix right now called The Toys That Made Us, and it's very interesting. | ||
You learn so much. | ||
It showed the history of Barbie. | ||
Barbie started off as a hooker. | ||
It was a hooker doll in Germany. | ||
Come on! | ||
Yeah, I swear to God! | ||
Google please. | ||
The history of the Barbie doll? | ||
There was a doll that looked exactly like Barbie that guys used to carry around and give to women and it was like a way of flirting with a woman like, hey, this is what I want to see you wearing later. | ||
What? | ||
And so this person came over to Germany and saw this doll and modeled Barbie right after this hooker doll. | ||
And so if you look at the original Barbie, what it was modeled off of, it was just like a creepy looking hooker chick. | ||
I'm sure you can find a picture. | ||
But this documentary is so amazing because it goes through all the famous things. | ||
What was going through your mind? | ||
Were you like, I just definitely got to look into the history of Barbie? | ||
No, it's just a documentary. | ||
History of toys? | ||
Yeah, the toys that made us. | ||
It's so good. | ||
And it goes through He-Man and G.I. Joe. | ||
G.I. Joe is interesting because back in the day, releasing a guy doll. | ||
Like, no, we're not going to make no guy doll. | ||
No one's going to play that. | ||
But G.I. Joe ended up being one of the biggest toys in the whole entire world. | ||
Yeah, you had to call it an action figure. | ||
I used to have a Steve Austin, Six Million Dollar Man action figure. | ||
You had to call it an action figure, though. | ||
And that's where action figures came from. | ||
G.I. Joe. | ||
That was the way around the doll thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Smart move, because dolls. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Dolls are not for boys. | ||
Isn't that funny? | ||
But you could have dinosaurs. | ||
Like, rah! | ||
What is that? | ||
Is that a doll? | ||
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
It's a doll. | ||
It's a Donisher doll. | ||
One of them was, which one was it? | ||
Not G.I. Joe. | ||
One of those was like, they made a whole cartoon and just made the toy. | ||
He-Man. | ||
Yeah, yeah, He-Man. | ||
It was just designed as a marketing tool. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They decided, how are we going to fight Star Wars toys? | ||
They were like, let's make it bigger and stronger so that if you see a He-Man doll next to a Star Wars toy, it's like, who's this little pussy doll, you know? | ||
And then they made a cartoon around it. | ||
It's really interesting. | ||
You wouldn't think it would be that interesting, but even the Barbie part was like, Wow, this is fascinating. | ||
And how they changed Barbie's look every year, made her sexier. | ||
She gets so much shit because her waist is really small and stuff. | ||
That's because when you put clothes on, for it to fit and look right, that's how they had to make her waist. | ||
It was more for the style of the clothes she was wearing, not of what it looked like underneath. | ||
Oh, so it was more just to have the doll work. | ||
Right. | ||
It was really cool. | ||
It's got to be fucking super hard to be a chick and look at those dolls and look at your body and go, what in the fuck? | ||
This is not even possible. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, because a lot of those dolls, they're not possible. | ||
What's really funny is one of the things in the 50s... | ||
What does it say? | ||
Lily doll. | ||
Yeah, he build Lily dollars could buy Lily dog and we bought in tobacco shops bars and adult themed toy stores Gerber rights men got Lily dolls as gag gifts at bachelor parties put them on their card dashboard Dangled them from the rearview mirror or gave them to girlfriends as suggestive keepsake. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
Suggestive keepsake? | ||
Hey, look at this butt. | ||
I want to see your butt. | ||
This proto Barbie was just shy of a foot tall with bulging breasts and platinum blonde ponytail made up for a night in the town with red puckered lips and blue eyeshadow. | ||
Wow. | ||
Interesting. | ||
The German doll's heavy makeup and subjectively arched eyebrows didn't carry over to the American version. | ||
That's interesting. | ||
Huh. | ||
They try to lighten it up a little. | ||
Yeah, then they even go into how her eyes are looking to the side, not right at you. | ||
She wants to see if she can fuck you in this alley. | ||
Is anybody coming? | ||
They had comics for this little doll too. | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
Like a comic? | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
Lily was witty, irreverent, and sexually uninhibited. | ||
One strip, summarized by Lord, who's Lord? | ||
Lord, the writer? | ||
The writer? | ||
Okay. | ||
Shows Lily covering her naked body with a newspaper, explaining to a friend, we had a fight, and he took back all the presents he gave me. | ||
Get it? | ||
She's naked. | ||
Another shows Lily in a bikini when a policeman tells her that two-piece swimsuits are illegal, she says, oh, and in your opinion, which part should I take off? | ||
That dirty bitch. | ||
One interesting thing, too, is how Barbie gets so much shit from being a fatter woman, having the body issues and stuff like that. | ||
There was a workout Barbie, and she had a little scale, and the scale had a sticker on it, and it was stuck at 110 pounds. | ||
And then there was also a book that came with it, like a cookbook, or a book that's like, How to Lose Weight, and on the back it says, Don't Eat. | ||
That actually came out. | ||
Dude, that's dark. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then it talked about how Malibu Barbie, like, was the first one that, like, have the eyes stare right at you, so it was, like, more sexual or something. | ||
It was interesting shit. | ||
Dude. | ||
You don't want to, you know, I mean, the thing about those dolls and all that stuff is, like, you're putting something in a kid's head that this is what an adult looks like. | ||
But I guess you're doing the same thing with He-Man. | ||
Right? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Like, you're putting that in a boy's head, and then he gets in the mirror and is like... | ||
That's why people flex and have their Italian horns. | ||
But they're looking at their muscles, and they're like, what? | ||
In comparison to He-Man, nothing! | ||
You know? | ||
That's the argument, too, about The Rock, or anybody who's like some beautiful, muscular creature like that. | ||
It's like, how the fuck do you aspire to that? | ||
But guys don't complain about that shit. | ||
Like, you don't hear a lot of complaints about male positive body image. | ||
You know? | ||
You don't hear that. | ||
Like, people don't care if guys are fat. | ||
If guys feel sad because they're fat, nobody gives a fuck. | ||
Thank God. | ||
But you know what I mean? | ||
I mean, it's a big deal. | ||
Like, fat shaming men. | ||
When was the last time anybody got accused of fat shaming a guy? | ||
It's always a woman. | ||
It's always if you're fat shaming, it's implied you're fat shaming a woman because they're the only ones who care. | ||
Tom and Burp. | ||
That was a different kind of fat shaming. | ||
They got locked up because people found it a target. | ||
Like, oh, let's figure out what we can say here. | ||
Oh, it's fat shaming. | ||
But just genuinely untrue. | ||
Without it ever being requested by someone. | ||
Like if you just, on your own, you decided to say that's fat shaming. | ||
Like you saw it and you pointed it out and it became an issue about a public event or a public person or a public celebrity said, I'm being fat shamed and it was a man. | ||
Fucking never. | ||
Does it mean it hasn't happened? | ||
Maybe it hasn't. | ||
I have been paying attention. | ||
But I can't imagine that some guy would fucking complain because he has a gut and someone's fat shaming him publicly. | ||
He would just look at that gut and go, fuck, they're right. | ||
Gotta stop eating. | ||
You know? | ||
Like, the Tom and Bert thing, people really did think they were serious. | ||
That's where it got weird. | ||
Like, people would get angry at Bert or angry at Tom. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And they would pick sides. | ||
Bert was telling me about this the other day. | ||
He hired me to, like, drive him on this golf cart for this marathon, like, in between taking Instagram photos. | ||
Can you imagine? | ||
Can you imagine if that's what he found out? | ||
That's crazy. | ||
He ran 5.33. | ||
That's pretty good. | ||
That's pretty good. | ||
It's an hour slower than Oprah, but hey, he's fat and he drinks a lot. | ||
What's interesting is the first place guy, the guy that actually won, it was like two and a half hours. | ||
No, no. | ||
That can't be. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, no. | ||
It's two hours that they can't break, right? | ||
They can't break two hours. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I was thinking, they're like, that's too... | ||
Yeah, so like... | ||
211.46. | ||
That's what he did? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
And what, Burt was five and a half? | ||
They run so fast. | ||
Dude, that's insane. | ||
They run so, so fast. | ||
That's insane. | ||
I can't... | ||
I've tried to run that fast for like a mile. | ||
I can't even really do it. | ||
unidentified
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That's crazy. | |
Oh my god. | ||
I didn't know they did it that fast. | ||
I thought like... | ||
I thought it was around... | ||
If I was guessing, when you said 230 or whatever the fuck we thought it was, I would be like, well, that's like a world record or some shit. | ||
What did it used to be? | ||
Didn't it used to be three hours like a big deal? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm... | ||
No, it was like a three-minute mile was the big deal. | ||
No, four-minute mile, right? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
And then Yeezys came out and changed everything. | ||
Yeezys changed the game. | ||
You got so much more bounce. | ||
How about this? | ||
Go back to the world record Boston Marathon 1980. I have a feeling it's like in the threes. | ||
It probably is. | ||
I mean, just... | ||
It wouldn't be world record Boston Marathon. | ||
That's a stupid thing to say. | ||
It's a Boston Marathon record. | ||
Who won it? | ||
Someone in 2011. 203-02. | ||
Yeah, but that's 2011. I want to go down to 1980. Well, yeah, 1980. It's an old record now. | ||
It's been replaced. | ||
Right, but not the record. | ||
Just like, what is the result from 1980? | ||
Boston Marathon result, 1980. I want to say that was probably the last time I paid attention because I lived in Boston. | ||
I don't give a fuck about the LA Marathon. | ||
I hear about it and I go, oh, can't drive there now. | ||
But I'm not like, oh, what a smart thing. | ||
These people are all running on the street. | ||
I think the reason why you're remembering that is because that's when the woman faked the time. | ||
Oh, that's right. | ||
That's right. | ||
I forgot about her. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
That was 1980? | ||
That's right. | ||
She hopped on the T. Yeah. | ||
And they busted her. | ||
People saw her on the T. What was her time? | ||
I don't know why they wouldn't just show it to be good. | ||
I don't remember that. | ||
Well, just... | ||
You're a terrible person to talk to about this because you keep taking us down more and more rabbit holes. | ||
unidentified
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Just type in 1981. That's 100% what I typed in. | |
Look, right here. | ||
Boston Marathon 1980. Dude, 1981. This stuff starts popping up. | ||
Okay. | ||
Boston Marathon results. | ||
1980s. | ||
Put an S on that bitch. | ||
unidentified
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Put 1979. Results. | |
Here we go. | ||
Here we go. | ||
Okay, what do we got? | ||
220. 220, wow! | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Okay, I'm way off. | ||
Well, it's still 10 minutes. | ||
256, the third place. | ||
247, the first place. | ||
Women's top results. | ||
So women do it in 247, the man was doing it in 220. 220 is fucking crazy. | ||
That is so crazy. | ||
You can run 26 miles in two hours and 20 minutes. | ||
Oof. | ||
I would imagine that would have been like a world record. | ||
I'm so off. | ||
I wonder what they weigh. | ||
That's another thing. | ||
What's really impressive is how big Burt is. | ||
Burt's like 350 pounds. | ||
More than that probably. | ||
Probably. | ||
He's 800 pounds and he's running out there. | ||
Did he get a shoe sponsor? | ||
No. | ||
Why not? | ||
Why didn't he get a shoe sponsor? | ||
Sports bra. | ||
Should have got some Reeboks. | ||
Some tight Reeboks to be running around that track in. | ||
They would have sent a couple hundred bucks as well. | ||
I think Nike hooked him up with some stuff. | ||
Oh yeah, there you go. | ||
That's right. | ||
He said, thank you, Nike. | ||
Yeah, good move. | ||
They should have gave him that marathon shoe that they created just so that someone could break two hours and see if Burt could be the one. | ||
It supposedly saves like 4% off your time. | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
How is that possible? | ||
4% is crazy. | ||
It means you run 100 miles, you get there 4 miles quicker? | ||
Than you did without them. | ||
That shit's ridiculous. | ||
Maybe. | ||
There's a titanium plate in there? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's supposed to help propel you. | ||
Oh, springs. | ||
You're running on springs. | ||
Remember those air shocks? | ||
Those Nike shocks? | ||
You'd have springs in your heels? | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
Look like frog shoes. | ||
I mean, I've beaten this dead horse many times. | ||
Not a bad idea to beat it one more time. | ||
But I like barefoot running. | ||
I run with the smallest, tiniest amount of sole, and it's changed my feet. | ||
I used to have completely flat feet. | ||
So if I stepped in water, and then I stepped on the tile next to the pool, and if it was like cement or something like that where you could see my footprint, you would see a flat cave band footprint. | ||
Same. | ||
But since I've been running with these... | ||
I use those Vibrams four-finger shoes and I use a couple of different... | ||
Vivos, I like those. | ||
They have real good traction in them. | ||
What about the impact on your knees, though, and your joints? | ||
You're running on the ball of your foot. | ||
Your foot is a natural shock absorber. | ||
The thing is, people changed the way they ran in the 1970s when Nike came out with that really thick heel for those running shoes. | ||
And the idea was that you would land on the heel and then go forward. | ||
But that's a terrible way for your foot to land. | ||
That's all the shock goes straight to your knee. | ||
There's no give there. | ||
The only give would be the cushioning of the shoe. | ||
But your foot is naturally designed to decelerate. | ||
You land on the ball of your feet, your foot decelerates, and you go forward. | ||
And what it's done is strengthen all the muscles in my feet in a crazy way. | ||
Like, I mean, there's a big difference. | ||
Like a big difference. | ||
And my legs just... | ||
They just work better. | ||
Like, I'm more balanced. | ||
It's so crazy. | ||
Like, it's changed... | ||
Like, I think about this. | ||
If I was doing this back when I was, like, really involved in martial arts, I think it would have changed my footwork. | ||
It would have made my movement in and out better and faster. | ||
Because, like, your feet strength... | ||
Your feet become so much stronger when you run hills with no shoes on. | ||
I mean, it's basically, there's shoes, there's a thin tread, but there's no cushioning. | ||
I mean, it's all just, the tread is like a layer of protection from sharp rocks. | ||
That's it. | ||
You gonna try these? | ||
Oh, I have those in my ass right now. | ||
In your ass? | ||
Let me pull it out. | ||
Pull up Vivo barefoot trail running shoes. | ||
These are the ones that I've been using a lot lately. | ||
And the Vibrams five fingers. | ||
But the problem with the Vibrams is they don't have as much tread. | ||
And when it's muddy, you slide all over the fucking place. | ||
And I don't want to fuck my knees up. | ||
No, I don't. | ||
That's not those. | ||
Those are like ninja toes. | ||
Ho-yah! | ||
Have you tried running barefoot on the beach yet? | ||
Yes, I've done that. | ||
Has it gotten better for you since you've done that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, everything's better. | ||
What's interesting is that's what it looks like on the bottom of those. | ||
unidentified
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That's cool. | |
So it's a good tread on the bottom, and it protects you from sharp rocks, but that shoe is super, super flexible. | ||
Do you have the trail-specific ones? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because that's all I'm running on. | ||
I'm not running on any hard ground. | ||
I have zero problems with my knees. | ||
Zero. | ||
Sometimes my ankles are a little stiff. | ||
Sometimes they're a little sore when I first start running. | ||
But I'm like, well, no duh. | ||
Think about all the beating I'm giving them. | ||
Those are cool. | ||
Yeah, those are the ones I wear now. | ||
But right now, as soon as it dries up, because it's been raining a lot out here, as soon as it dries up, I go back to those Vibram Five Fingers. | ||
Because those things make you use your toes. | ||
Like, your shoe is in a coffin, man. | ||
Or your foot, rather, in your shoe. | ||
It's like a coffin. | ||
It wraps it up. | ||
It locks it down. | ||
It's a cast. | ||
And your feet don't move right. | ||
They don't spread out. | ||
Your toes don't grip into the ground and push off. | ||
And Steve Maxwell was the first one to tell me about that in regards to weightlifting. | ||
He was like, you should weightlift barefoot, and if you don't want to weightlift barefoot, wear those five-finger shoes. | ||
And as soon as I started doing that, I started realizing, oh yeah, you push off those toes. | ||
You feel them dig into the ground in certain exercises. | ||
But if they're all trapped up in a shoe, they don't move right. | ||
They don't expand. | ||
They don't grip the ground. | ||
They don't dig in. | ||
But when you're running barefoot, like, I feel the muscles in my feet. | ||
They, like, afterwards, like, they get worked out. | ||
Yeah, like, those kind of things. | ||
That's exactly what those are city ones, huh? | ||
Those are ones for wearing around the city. | ||
Look, they look gross. | ||
There's no doubt about it. | ||
I mean, you're used to looking at different kinds of shoes. | ||
You look at that little tiny slipper thing on a dude's face, like, hey, get out of here with your weird ideas, with your fucking slipper feet. | ||
But it's just something you got to get used to. | ||
I prefer them now. | ||
And if I don't wear those, I usually wear shit like this, like Converse All-Stars. | ||
Because there's nothing there. | ||
It's like, it's totally flat. | ||
You don't have a raised heel. | ||
See, like that shoe right there has a raised heel. | ||
Air Max. | ||
Right. | ||
They're fat, right? | ||
You like them. | ||
But those heels, that raised heel, it shortens your Achilles tendon. | ||
If you wear those all the time, or wear high heels all the time, think about it. | ||
Your foot is always in this weird position where the back heel is elevated. | ||
So your tendon is not traveling as far. | ||
So then when you do something where it does have to travel far, it can get ruptured. | ||
You can have issues with it. | ||
It's just not... | ||
It's like... | ||
You ever heard of people that drive cars a lot and they have a big fat wallet? | ||
They wind up getting problems with their back. | ||
They'll get a disc slippage because they're kind of getting a bulging disc because they're always leaning on one side. | ||
You're doing your body a disservice by keeping it in an unnatural position or in any sort of static position for long periods of time. | ||
So when you have a static position like... | ||
Sitting with a big fat wallet in your ass, it eventually starts to break you down. | ||
The argument is that that same kind of shit is happening with heels. | ||
So if you're wearing a sneaker that has like a heel to it, that you're constantly, especially if you're doing explosive exercises, you're constantly limiting the range of your heel. | ||
Does that make sense? | ||
Yeah. | ||
My thing, though, is because I also have bad flat feet, that if I have like a Converse All-Star, I feel like I need more support because it makes me walk almost pigeon-toed or something like that. | ||
I don't think that's true. | ||
I think you probably just need to strengthen your feet. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think. | ||
I mean, it's just... | ||
I just don't think that that's where you get support from. | ||
I mean, you do get support from that if you're going mountaineering or something. | ||
You know you have to hike. | ||
But if you're looking for an overall solution, you should try to get your feet stronger. | ||
That Dr. Scholl thing you can do to put your foot on it and test your walking gait and they give you the proper insole. | ||
Those kind of help a little bit. | ||
Yeah, those insoles will definitely help your comfort level. | ||
The thing is, what's causing the discomfort? | ||
Is it a lack of strength? | ||
Is it a lack of mobility? | ||
What are the issues? | ||
If you're going to go mountaineering next week, you should definitely go and get some fitted insoles. | ||
You should go get some stiff-ass boots. | ||
That's definitely the way to go, even if you're mountaineering, period. | ||
But we're not talking about that. | ||
We're not talking about a solution for your life. | ||
Why do your feet hurt when you do things? | ||
It might very well be they're not conditioned well, and they're not being used well. | ||
Correctly because you're shoving them into these fucking casts that we call sneakers. | ||
Hippie Talk 101. My sneakers have this new material. | ||
It's been on a lot of shoes for a while, but this like fly knit material so it stretches with your foot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you like that? | ||
Yeah, I mean it you don't have to they don't need breaking in like shoes kind of did for a long time in the 80s 90s or whatever. | ||
Don't get me wrong, man. | ||
I'll still wear a pair of running shoes every now and then if I feel like it, you know, but I just don't think they should be worn every day. | ||
I don't think it's a normal thing. | ||
I definitely don't think you should work out in them, in terms of running in them and a lot of the shit that people do. | ||
I mean, they have some shoes, like I know Under Armour has a shoe called the Speed Freak. | ||
That's pretty flat. | ||
You know, there's a lot of these companies are making flatter and flatter shoes now, but people like, they sell good. | ||
You know, you see that big fat, that big fat heel, they go, ooh, look at all that cushioning. | ||
They like it. | ||
It sells good. | ||
I have those hard ones for people that work out. | ||
Like, it's a big CrossFit shoe, like Nike's Metcon 3, I think is what it is. | ||
It's got that hard plastic, you know what I'm talking about? | ||
Oh, yeah, that's for squats, right? | ||
They want you to have a heel for squats. | ||
Some people do them in Converse or barefoot, though. | ||
They're just a... | ||
It's a good question. | ||
I know some people step on plates. | ||
They'll put a 10-pound plate on the ground, and they'll put their heel on those plates, and they'll do squats that way. | ||
I don't know who's right or who's wrong when it comes to that. | ||
I do everything barefoot, all lifting. | ||
All lifting, either barefoot or with those little five-finger shoes on. | ||
Aren't you worried about getting ringworm all over your feet? | ||
No. | ||
Why do you think you get ringworm? | ||
Aren't gyms, or I guess you get private gyms, but gyms are just like the dirtiest shit ever. | ||
Just wash your feet. | ||
But here's the thing. | ||
You know, ringworm and athlete's foot are the same thing. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Did you know that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Exactly the same thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's just skin fungus. | ||
The best way to prevent against skin fungus is have healthy skin flora. | ||
So don't fuck with any antibacterial soaps. | ||
Unless you're a doctor, obviously. | ||
When you're using antibacterial soap on a regular basis, you're killing everything. | ||
You're killing all the good bacteria, too. | ||
What you want is soap that promotes healthy skin floor, like Defense Soap. | ||
They make this soap with tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil. | ||
It smells good. | ||
But it's really healthy for your skin. | ||
There's no chemicals. | ||
There's no bullshit. | ||
It's just natural oils that promote healthy bacteria and They deny the growth of shitty bacteria somehow or another. | ||
There's a lot of stuff like that in nature. | ||
Teacher oil is a big one for that. | ||
Promotes healthy bacteria, kills off all the bad shit. | ||
I use it every day. | ||
Just keeping everything dry. | ||
unidentified
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That's good too, but what if you live in the jungle, bitch? | |
Just make sure you're circumcised, too. | ||
Oh, yeah, that's probably where they're getting it, right? | ||
Sweaty dick in the jungle. | ||
A lot of ringworm everywhere. | ||
Your body has, like, a whole system, you know, and that whole system is fortified by you eating fermented foods and things that are probiotic and yogurt and, like, strategies that people have come up with over the years to introduce probiotic foods into their diet. | ||
And some of it was by accident, by just trying to preserve things, and they fermented. | ||
And some of it was, you know, they figured out like, hey, you know, we can do this and I have a better result with that. | ||
And, you know, that's really what's... | ||
The cause of a lot of skin issues. | ||
I mean, you're going to get ringworm anyway if you're exposed to it all the time and you have open sores and you can't get to a shower in time. | ||
It's totally likely that you could get it. | ||
But I guarantee you your recovery time and the instances that you get it will be less likely. | ||
If you take acidophilus, if you take, I like kombucha, there's a bunch of different probiotics you can take. | ||
And it's just a very smart thing for your body. | ||
But that's one of the things about Diet Coke. | ||
I think Diet Coke, as delicious as it is, wrecks your healthy skin flora. | ||
Or your gut flora, right? | ||
Yeah, it probably does. | ||
I just read the other day, if you drink one Diet Coke a day, like something about Alzheimer's, I think it is, where there's a direct connection to... | ||
I forget what it was, but that's pretty scary. | ||
Diet Coke's so bad for me. | ||
Took out Tammy Faye Baker. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's what took her out, Diet Coke. | ||
That's what they say. | ||
Just one can... | ||
Triple your risk of stroke. | ||
Meanwhile, Donald Trump drinks 12 a day. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
That motherfucker's invincible. | ||
Those are just Cokes. | ||
They're probably better for you. | ||
No, he drinks Diet Cokes, dude. | ||
He drinks Diet Cokes and McDonald's. | ||
Did you see this story? | ||
What? | ||
Mysterious Loch Ness type sea creature washes ashore on Georgia Beach. | ||
unidentified
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What? | |
Come on. | ||
unidentified
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That's seaweed. | |
They don't know what it is apparently. | ||
And this just came out yesterday but they still like marine wildlife experts quote-unquote don't know what it is. | ||
That's the only picture of it? | ||
Yeah there's this video of it. | ||
Let me see that again. | ||
Wait how big is that? | ||
It's about five feet long I think. | ||
It's like a plesiosaur. | ||
That's what they said. | ||
Certain sea mammals can decompose to look like that. | ||
Wow. | ||
And it just showed up on a beach. | ||
Show me that video again? | ||
Oh, there's the picture. | ||
Get bigger with that? | ||
They blurred out the part where there's like a gut or something. | ||
Whoa. | ||
It looks like it's just a piece of seaweed and it's like one inch long. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
They blurred out the guts. | ||
They're going to show you this dead body, but they blur out the guts. | ||
No, go back to the picture. | ||
I was going to show you the live video. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Just let me see it. | ||
The flippers are very unusual, like in that long ass neck. | ||
That's a very weird animal, whatever that is. | ||
That'd be fucking dope if they found some new crazy looking dinosaur type fish right off the coast of Georgia. | ||
There's so much shit down there. | ||
I mean, you think about how many different animals And organisms, they are constantly finding on Earth, right? | ||
I mean, that new crayfish that they found in the ocean that's all female, that reproduces by cloning. | ||
You heard about that one? | ||
They're finding these fucking things constantly, and that's in fresh water. | ||
But we have a way better account and understanding of what's going on in fresh water than we do of the ocean. | ||
There's so much down there that we don't know. | ||
There's so many life forms down there that we're not aware of. | ||
Do you know how much of the ocean floor has been... | ||
I think less than 10%. | ||
Less than 5%. | ||
I don't understand why we're so concerned about going to a different planet when we haven't even figured out this planet yet. | ||
That's ridiculous. | ||
When James Cameron went and as his movie, the movie he made to go as far down as anybody has gone, I was looking into this the other day. | ||
He didn't break the record. | ||
In 1960, two guys got into a submarine and went lower than he did by like 100 meters or some shit. | ||
Whoa. | ||
29,000 feet or something down. | ||
unidentified
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Jesus. | |
And it's still... | ||
There's still more... | ||
And I think they just discovered an area near where they were going that's lower than what they thought the deepest part of the ocean was. | ||
Stop there for a second. | ||
29,000 feet under the ground. | ||
Isn't a mile 5,000 feet? | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
So, what? | ||
What? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Are you serious? | ||
Like, they're almost six miles down? | ||
35,797 feet is the actual record. | ||
What in the fuck, man? | ||
That's seven miles? | ||
Is that real? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Think of seven miles. | ||
Seven miles is like here to Studio City. | ||
Now imagine doing it underwater. | ||
How far can you see? | ||
You can't see seven miles, right? | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
Like, the distance of the curve of the earth? | ||
The curve of the earth, like... | ||
It's flat. | ||
Yeah, but if you're flat, if you're on, like, sea level, and you're looking straight, how far can you see? | ||
On a clear day, I think you could probably see seven or eight miles, probably farther. | ||
unidentified
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Mmm. | |
That's nuts, man. | ||
Seven miles. | ||
Is this the guy? | ||
Yeah, there's two guys, actually. | ||
They're still alive? | ||
Don Walsh and Jock Picard. | ||
I bet you never recover from something like that. | ||
You go all the way down there and you're just like, what in the fuck? | ||
What in the fuck? | ||
Your DNA probably changes like the astronaut guy. | ||
Yeah, they explained that. | ||
That was exaggerated. | ||
That people were oversimplifying the situation to say that his DNA didn't change the way you think it did. | ||
It's probably just like one molecule off or something like that. | ||
It's probably not that big of a deal. | ||
It's probably off, though. | ||
I mean, what are they saying caused him? | ||
See, Google astronaut's DNA didn't change the way you think it did. | ||
I think... | ||
We just don't understand, like, how it... | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, Scott Kelly's DNA did not change in space. | ||
And this is from... | ||
Waste.com. | ||
Wait, it's a local news station. | ||
Oh, W-A-T-E.com. | ||
It's probably just an AP story they put up. | ||
Yeah, I think it exactly is, because I know I saw it on something else. | ||
Get it a little bigger so I can read it here. | ||
After the internet was buzz about astronaut Scott Kelly's purported altered DNA after his year in space, NASA has clarified the findings in their study. | ||
His DNA did not change by 7%. | ||
He is still an identical twin to his brother Mark. | ||
I want my money back. | ||
From all those things I clicked, you fuckheads. | ||
NASA says University of Tennessee's graduate... | ||
Gene's expression changed by about 7%. | ||
Gene expression is how your body reacts to your environment and stress fractures. | ||
They said this level of change in gene expression was within the expected range for humans in stressful environments like scuba diving or mountain climbing! | ||
Boom! | ||
You fucks! | ||
So every time you go mountain climbing, you're not an identical twin to your brother anymore! | ||
Yeah! | ||
We're assholes. | ||
We're just lying to ourselves. | ||
We just lie to ourselves for clicks. | ||
I'm mad. | ||
I'm mad enough. | ||
It's like, these people need to be punished. | ||
For their clickbait. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're doing it on purpose. | ||
It's worse on YouTube. | ||
I mean, you could put up a little thumbnail and get people clicking on stuff and make thousands of dollars just for that. | ||
That's true. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I went deep on YouTube the other day. | ||
Have you ever watched somebody die from rabies? | ||
Oh, no. | ||
There's videos of people dying from rabies on YouTube. | ||
It's the most fascinating thing ever. | ||
I didn't know people still died from rabies, but there's people that have rabies, and if you watch, it's haunting. | ||
You pretty much are going crazy. | ||
Why don't they just kill them? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Why do we need people to die 100% naturally? | ||
What is that about? | ||
It's so interesting to watch these videos. | ||
Man, what year is this? | ||
unidentified
|
It seems like 50s, 60s, or something like that. | |
And you just die of rabies. | ||
You don't bounce back, right? | ||
Right. | ||
And it's very sad. | ||
You can't hold water in, so you just constantly spit out water. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, shit, dude. | |
This is scary stuff, man. | ||
He's trying to eat. | ||
Yeah, it won't work. | ||
He just puts it in his mouth and he'll spit it out, probably. | ||
What a fucked up disease, man. | ||
Rabies is so crazy because it really is like a zombie disease for dogs. | ||
Right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
For dogs or animals, they get it. | ||
Oh my god, look at me foaming at the mouth. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Now, let me ask you this. | ||
At what point in time did you just give this guy a lethal dose of morphine and get this over with? | ||
Right now. | ||
Like, why did they let him get this far gone? | ||
They're just letting him die on his own. | ||
What is it about people that want people to die on their own? | ||
Like, there's a certain amount we know about the human body, right? | ||
When it gets to that sort of a stage, I mean, the guy's foaming at the mouth, twitching and bucking while he's strapped to a bed. | ||
Yeah, and there's videos of kids. | ||
Just like little, like three-year-old kids having rabies. | ||
You can't do anything. | ||
They should kill her. | ||
What do they do now? | ||
I think they just let them suffer today. | ||
I don't think you're allowed to kill anybody. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
I mean, if you have rabies, do they have a cure? | ||
I think, as an example, if you get bit by a raccoon, you have to go through all those 100 shots type thing. | ||
I don't know how long you have to do that. | ||
Anybody that thinks that all vaccinations are bad is a fucking idiot. | ||
If you really think that it's all some sort of a big giant conspiracy to ruin people and make a ton of money, you're crazy. | ||
If people are getting jacked by vaccinations, that is an unfortunate side effect of one of the most spectacular things that human beings have ever created. | ||
They created a way to combat diseases that killed untold millions. | ||
I mean, think about the fucking malaria vaccinations. | ||
They can give you malaria shots. | ||
A bunch of different shit that they give you. | ||
Or malaria pills. | ||
You can take pills. | ||
And then you go over there and you live. | ||
Malaria kills everybody. | ||
Polio. | ||
I mean, they basically wiped out polio. | ||
They didn't just recently come back. | ||
It's because people aren't vaccinating their kids anymore. | ||
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There's a lot of people that aren't. | |
Mumps, measles. | ||
There's a lot of different ones that are making their way back. | ||
Yeah, I mean, they figured out... | ||
Look, it's not perfect, but there's not a damn thing that involves putting chemicals in your body that's perfect. | ||
Not a damn thing. | ||
But what they've done with vaccinations is fucking amazing. | ||
Now, I think I agree with you on flu shots. | ||
I don't get flu shots. | ||
I don't get it. | ||
I've never had one. | ||
I don't think that they don't work. | ||
I think they work sometimes. | ||
But I know people that have taken flu shots and gotten sick. | ||
Yeah, because it's the flu, and you're not supposed to, but usually for a couple days you might be a little sick. | ||
Who wants that? | ||
What is this? | ||
The disease expresses itself in two forms. | ||
Furious rabies, whoa, 70% of human cases, cause hyper-excited behavior, a strong fear of water, and sometimes a strong fear of flying. | ||
This will eventually result in death by cardiorespiratory arrest. | ||
Paralytic rabies, 30%, is less exciting and takes longer to kill you. | ||
With it, your muscles gradually paralyze, beginning at the source of the infection and spreading outwards. | ||
What is this article from? | ||
Everything you want to know about rabies. | ||
Is that Gizmodo? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
With extreme aggression that most strongly characterizes disease. | ||
When animals have it, what's fascinating to me is that they want to bite you. | ||
Which would help spread the disease. | ||
It's almost like the disease uses the animal's system and makes the animal more likely to bite. | ||
It's like piloting the animal and getting it to attack. | ||
Zombie. | ||
Have you ever seen the rat with rabies chasing the cat? | ||
I think we've talked about videos before. | ||
It's not rabies. | ||
The rat has toxoplasma. | ||
It's a different thing. | ||
It's a different parasite. | ||
Oh. | ||
Yeah, that's a thing that's super common with cats and rats. | ||
And people get it. | ||
And somewhere around 50 million Americans have it. | ||
It affects your judgment. | ||
It makes you more impulsive. | ||
And there's a direct relationship to people who are toxoplasma infected and motorcycle accidents. | ||
What? | ||
Yeah, they're more likely to get in motorcycle accidents. | ||
Robert Sapolsky talked about it. | ||
He was on a podcast we did. | ||
It's one of my favorite ones, but it was really quick. | ||
It was only like an hour. | ||
And Sapolsky is just world-renowned for his study of toxoplasma and what it does to people. | ||
But it affects the cat's... | ||
Well, first of all, it affects the rat's sexual reward system. | ||
Hijacks its brain, gives it a boner. | ||
They get erect at the smell of cat urine sometimes. | ||
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Wow. | |
And it takes away their fear of cats completely. | ||
So they go wander around cats. | ||
The cats kill them. | ||
And then they get into the cat that way. | ||
Because they can only reproduce inside the cat's digestive system. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
So these worms get into the cat's body so they can reproduce. | ||
And then they shit out cat shit. | ||
People come in contact with the cat shit. | ||
Sometimes even through their feet. | ||
Through walking around barefoot around cat shit. | ||
The toxo gets into their system and it affects the way they behave. | ||
Some crazy amount of people in the world have it. | ||
Like at one point in time in France, it was more than 40% of the people had it. | ||
Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
Yeah, that's what's doing it to that cat. | ||
I thought it was rabia. | ||
There's a lot of those things, man. | ||
How about that aquatic worm that makes grasshoppers drown themselves? | ||
Yes. | ||
Grows inside a bug's body and then says, hey, faggot, why don't you go jump in that water? | ||
I will jump in that water. | ||
And they jump in the water and they drown. | ||
I mean, it's crazy. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
They talk this organism into killing itself so that they can pop out in the water and live. | ||
Brr. | ||
There's a bunch of things like that in nature. | ||
We have to wonder, how did this evolve? | ||
What's going on? | ||
What is the actual process that allows something to evolve into a plant that can eat a rat? | ||
You ever see that plant that gets all slippery and smells good so the rats come near and they fall into the hole and it's into this like this looks like a like a tulip like a giant thick tulip and it just absorbs the rat like how the fuck did that start and that's what it does all the time like it tricks the rats like what the fuck like what was stage one like what was that thing like in the beginning what did it like did it catch a bug and the bugs are cool but I like to get one of them furry fuckers it's always chewing on my leaves you know There's | ||
just so many different forms of life, and this is all we know about Earth. | ||
Like we were talking about exploring the ocean. | ||
Can you imagine if we found some crazy fucking half-human looking things that live under there? | ||
I think I told you about this before, but there's this plant. | ||
It's on planet Earth too, so I'm not really going to show the footage, but it has these seedlings on this specific island somewhere that these birds come And land, and they eat the seeds, and then they also get stuck to the birds' bodies, and as they fly around, that's how it spreads. | ||
But the birds can get them stuck to them so much that it gets stuck on the ground, and they can't fly anymore. | ||
Jesus. | ||
And they end up... | ||
Dying and then being decomposed and the plants sort of like... | ||
Grows out of them. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah, they're covered in these things. | ||
Like the birds trying to clean the things off them. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do the birds eat them? | ||
Oh, look, he's decomposing. | ||
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Yeah. | |
And the tree's growing out of them. | ||
Fuck. | ||
Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
That's insane. | ||
The Planet Earth 2 stuff is awesome. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Planet Earth and Planet Earth 2 are both amazing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, when you see the very bizarre ways that nature figures out how to... | ||
How to take advantage of a situation. | ||
My favorite one is that cordyceps mushroom that grows in those ants and the other ants recognize that this is a problem, that this thing died with these ants. | ||
These ants died with these mushrooms growing inside of it and the spores We'll build up inside this thing's body and then explode and spray through the air and infect all the other ants around it. | ||
Like, literally, it's like a bomb. | ||
And somehow or another, the ants know this. | ||
So the ants take the body and they drag it out of town. | ||
They're like, we gotta get them out of here before it blows. | ||
I mean, it's literally like someone throws the hand grain in your car and you just chuck it out just in time. | ||
It's fucking nuts, man. | ||
I love shit like that. | ||
It's fucking nuts. | ||
Yeah, it's fucking nuts. | ||
I mean, it really is. | ||
How does it know? | ||
I mean, how do these goddamn ants know that they have to get this thing out of there? | ||
So the thing's dead, right? | ||
And then little spores start growing out of its head. | ||
See the spore growing out of its head? | ||
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Look at this. | |
It's crazy. | ||
Wow, that's nuts. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So the mushrooms grow inside their bodies. | ||
And I don't know how the ants know this, but the ants know they got to get that fucking thing out of town. | ||
Wow. | ||
And they drag them away. | ||
Maybe it's like a smell. | ||
I mean, I don't think ants are cannibals, but look how crazy that is. | ||
This thing grows out of its body. | ||
How is that any different than, like, the Prometheus movie or alien movies? | ||
You know? | ||
I mean, how is that different? | ||
I mean, it's really not. | ||
It's some crazy organism that eats its host and the ants, look, mushrooms. | ||
Mushrooms that thrive off of carbon monoxide or something? | ||
Well, they're just like us. | ||
They eat oxygen and breathe carbon dioxide. | ||
Now, here's the thing. | ||
The cordyceps mushrooms that get harvested for things like Onnit Shroom Tech, the way they harvest those things is off caterpillars. | ||
Really? | ||
Yes! | ||
Like this. | ||
So those mushrooms wouldn't be psychedelic? | ||
Like, has anyone tried to take those little ant mushrooms? | ||
No, they're not psychedelic. | ||
I mean, there's a bunch of different kinds of cordyceps mushroom, but what they found is that high-altitude yak herders or cattle herders... | ||
I think it was cattle. | ||
I forget what it was. | ||
They noticed that when their animals were eating these mushrooms, they were more active. | ||
And so they started feeding their mushrooms, you know, feeding the mushrooms to people. | ||
And they had some pretty great results with it. | ||
And they started noticing that it helps people. | ||
And they did some studies on it. | ||
You can go to Onnit and you can read the studies on Cordyceps mushrooms or just Google it independently. | ||
There's some interesting studies. | ||
The Chinese... | ||
See, that's a little tricky though. | ||
They say the Chinese Olympic team used them and they won a bunch of medals. | ||
Here's what's tricky about that. | ||
It's entirely likely that they said, oh yeah, we were only using the mushrooms. | ||
Definitely no steroids. | ||
Right. | ||
I mean, in the interest of full disclosure, I mean, I'm wearing a fucking Onnit t-shirt, right? | ||
It's entirely possible they were doing steroids, too. | ||
Most likely that they were doing steroids. | ||
Did you see Icarus? | ||
Did you see that movie? | ||
I think they were all doing steroids. | ||
I think, like, especially all those communist countries that rely so heavily on propaganda, like Russia. | ||
Like, Russia's been doing... | ||
They had a state-sponsored drug program, 100%. | ||
It's all documented in that movie. | ||
So when China says that they won these track and field medals because they were taking this cordyceps mushroom, I bet it helped. | ||
I bet it helped. | ||
I take it, but guess what? | ||
It doesn't feel like a steroid. | ||
When I take shroom tech, it's like a nice little boost. | ||
I get a little boost. | ||
Not speedy, but a little boost. | ||
I definitely feel an extra gear. | ||
There's some other shit too. | ||
Those guys were doing... | ||
They fucking do everything they can, man. | ||
Anything they can get away with. | ||
Whatever the fuck they can get away with, they do. | ||
And they're not testing them all the time. | ||
They're just not. | ||
If they are, they're hiding shit. | ||
People get busted. | ||
They've already proven that people get busted and they let them slide. | ||
There's a lot of influence peddling. | ||
Maybe it'll be less now because Russia wasn't even allowed to compete now. | ||
The people had to compete under the Olympic flag for certain athletes. | ||
Rush is so crazy. | ||
You see that dude they killed in England? | ||
The nerve gas? | ||
Is he dead yet? | ||
It's him and his daughter or something like that. | ||
Or his wife. | ||
They killed him in England with nerve gas. | ||
Really? | ||
Well, if he's not dead, he might as well be dead. | ||
He's on his way to dead. | ||
He's in horrible, critical condition. | ||
It's just like, this is some spy versus spy shit. | ||
And this is some, really, it's like some movie shit. | ||
They're killing him with nerve gas. | ||
They're killing him, you know... | ||
I think he was like a double agent or something. | ||
Is that what he was? | ||
Supposedly, Russia's now hacking our power grades. | ||
Oh, no. | ||
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Like... | |
I guess he didn't die. | ||
If it was a Russian military-grade agent, he would have died on the spot, obviously, is what Putin said. | ||
Oh, that's what Putin said. | ||
Fuck. | ||
We should definitely listen to him, always. | ||
What is... | ||
Remain in critical condition. | ||
Pull up a story on him. | ||
Who is he and why? | ||
Why are they trying to whack this dude? | ||
He's in critical condition. | ||
Hold on. | ||
Go up. | ||
Scroll up. | ||
Putin calls Russian poisoned ex-spy nonsense and delirium. | ||
Oh, well then they definitely did it. | ||
Make that bigger. | ||
Sloughed off the notion that Russia was behind the poisoning former Russian spy and his daughter, saying any sensible person would understand that this is delirium and nonsense. | ||
It is unthinkable that we would do such a thing. | ||
The first thing that came to mind, if it was a military-grade agent, he would have died on the spot. | ||
They would have died on the spot, obviously, said Putin, speaking in the party headquarters in Moscow shortly. | ||
After he spoke to a crowd in central Moscow. | ||
Russia does not have any such agents. | ||
We destroyed it all. | ||
Okay. | ||
I don't believe that. | ||
Putin also says he's never met Trump before the election, and then there's like video from like three years ago, Trump saying, I met Putin, you know, and like... | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, it's just like, oh, bullshit. | ||
Everything's bullshit. | ||
It's a fun time, though. | ||
I hate it. | ||
I think this is a fun time. | ||
You like this? | ||
Yeah, I'm okay. | ||
I'm enjoying it because I think this is what's fun about this time is even with like and this is partly because we have a guy like Trump in office is that everything seems like there's nobody at the wheel everything from top to bottom these people scrambling to take the wheel I'll take the wheel and right this ship but there's no one at the wheel it's all craziness right now it's craziness culturally it's craziness politically It's craziness economically. | ||
None of it makes any sense. | ||
It's racially crazy. | ||
People are fighting. | ||
People are mad at Bruno Mars. | ||
Bruno Mars for cultural appropriation. | ||
How is that possible? | ||
I mean, there's so many different things that are happening today that are so outrageous. | ||
Oh, how about this one? | ||
A guy got fucking sentenced, or he got convicted, and will be sentenced soon, I think he gets sentenced in April, for getting his dog to make a Hitler salute. | ||
Making a video. | ||
Yes, it's on my Twitter page. | ||
I retweeted it. | ||
The guy is in Scotland and he's a proud shit poster. | ||
He's one of those guys. | ||
Jamie loves shit posters. | ||
It's one of his favorite things. | ||
Me too? | ||
No. | ||
But he's one of those guys that just, he posts stupid shit to get a reaction from people. | ||
And so, just to piss his girlfriend off, he decided he'd try to get his dog to do the Hitler salute, the Nazi salute. | ||
And, you know, he gets his dog to do it on this video. | ||
And he says, gas the Jews, apparently. | ||
You know, like, he's trying to, like, get his dog to do this, like, when he, I guess, you know, he thought it was funny. | ||
Then he puts it on YouTube. | ||
Not only does it get him in trouble, which I get people being mad, like, hey, that's insensitive. | ||
Okay, whatever. | ||
He's trying to be insensitive. | ||
They fucking arrested him. | ||
They tried him and they convicted him. | ||
Which country? | ||
Scotland. | ||
The UK. I mean, this guy's convicted and now he'll be sentenced. | ||
It's fucking crazy. | ||
Have you seen the video? | ||
Jamie, pull up that video, because it's crazy to watch. | ||
It's not that big a deal. | ||
Sentencing has been pushed off up until sometime next month. | ||
Yeah, that's what I said. | ||
Pull up the video. | ||
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That's one thing about the United States, man. | |
You forget about free speech. | ||
I was talking to somebody from a different country recently. | ||
He goes, you have no idea how big that is. | ||
And we kind of take it for granted. | ||
It's giant. | ||
It's giant. | ||
And it's everything. | ||
Okay. | ||
It has been identified by YouTube community as inappropriate and offensive to some audiences. | ||
I understand. | ||
Please proceed. | ||
Give me some volume. | ||
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And so I thought I would turn them into the least cute thing that I could think of. | |
Oh, but you can't even understand what he says. | ||
Why don't they just speak English? | ||
God! | ||
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Do I gas the juice? | |
Gas the juice? | ||
Do I gas the juice? | ||
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Mum will gas the juice, son. | |
Do I gas the juice? | ||
Do you want gas the juice? | ||
Come on gas the juice. | ||
More gas the juice, son! | ||
More! | ||
Do I guess the Jews? | ||
So it took him forever to teach this dog this? | ||
Is this the idea? | ||
That's why we're watching this over and over again? | ||
Oh God. | ||
Oh my gosh. | ||
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Zikaev! | |
Oh wow. | ||
Oh boy. | ||
unidentified
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Zikaev! | |
That's adorable. | ||
It is very cute. | ||
He taught the dog to do that. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Oh, that's it. | ||
Man, that sucks that he's getting... | ||
Well, it's a classic shit post video. | ||
It's like, these guys... | ||
This is the whole Pepe the Frog thing. | ||
You can take it down. | ||
This is the whole... | ||
It's all the same shit. | ||
It's a bunch of people that are having fun saying shit that's totally inappropriate. | ||
This is what it is. | ||
That's what that is. | ||
That's the same thing. | ||
And the people that think that, like, anybody who would do that is a Nazi, you're not correct. | ||
That's not true. | ||
I guarantee you that guy's not a Nazi. | ||
I think. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm assuming he's not a Nazi. | ||
I'm assuming he's a shit poster. | ||
He's a guy who's trying to be funny. | ||
100%. | ||
That's just ignorance. | ||
Yeah, and that funniness is funny to them. | ||
See, here's the thing. | ||
You might not like it. | ||
You might think it's horribly inoffensive, but here's the thing. | ||
No Jews got gassed during the making of that video. | ||
And the worst thing it did is get racists to laugh. | ||
The best thing it did is get people to talk about what's appropriate. | ||
There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
I mean, it's not good. | ||
I mean, I don't like it. | ||
I wouldn't do it. | ||
I wouldn't tell people, hey, this is the most awesome video ever. | ||
Come watch it. | ||
But to put that guy, not only to put him on trial, but to fucking convict him? | ||
And Scotland, how dare you? | ||
You people are supposed to be ahead of the curve. | ||
Scotland's supposed to be a pretty fucking badass place. | ||
That's ridiculous. | ||
Isn't Scotland, though, like a place that you... | ||
I think it's Scotland, where you can't even talk about sex on stage. | ||
You can cuss, you can pull a tit out, but if you talk about sex, I think it's Scotland. | ||
I don't know about that, because Billy Connolly's from Scotland, and Billy Connolly's a pretty famous worldwide comedian. | ||
Am I thinking of Sweden? | ||
Pretty outrageous guy. | ||
I might be thinking of Sweden. | ||
Yeah, because Connolly's pretty... | ||
He's like... | ||
In the line of, like, popular American stand-up comics of his era. | ||
He was a very respected guy. | ||
And he's from Scotland. | ||
Must be sweet. | ||
I think I'm thinking of Sweden. | ||
Maybe. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't know jack shit about those other countries that I only visit occasionally. | ||
Right. | ||
But when you go to these countries to do comedy, do you ever have to be like, hey, don't talk about... | ||
No. | ||
I wouldn't go. | ||
If I went to a place and they told me I couldn't talk about something, I'd be like, well, why would I go there? | ||
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Right. | |
I'll just go somewhere where I can talk about anything. | ||
I don't want to go somewhere where I can only talk about certain things. | ||
It's like, I've done a few, air quote, clean shows in my day, where I got a gig, especially when I was first starting out, they're like, hey, can you do a half an hour clean? | ||
And I go, okay, yeah. | ||
And I would just edit. | ||
I would just edit the shit out of something, use words that, you know, there's like innuendo that you can get away with, and I could sort of squeak by with a bullshit half hour set, you know? | ||
But I would never do that today. | ||
I don't want to. | ||
I don't want to. | ||
It's just like, what I want to be able to do is find out what's the best way to express the thoughts that are in my mind that are funny. | ||
The best way is never by censoring yourself. | ||
The best way is by figuring out what's the best way to express yourself. | ||
Sometimes censorship can be a tool though for writing. | ||
Like if you know that you can't swear or you know, like for joke writing, one of the cool things about Twitter It was that you had 140 characters. | ||
Now, obviously, you have more, you have 280, but the 140 made you write a joke very concisely if you wanted to be funny. | ||
You know, you'd have to have set up, punchline, cut out all that. | ||
You're like, oh, I'm 10 letters over. | ||
Shit. | ||
And you back it up a little. | ||
Oh, just take this out. | ||
I could say it in one word. | ||
It makes you understand the economy of words better. | ||
And sometimes that's the case with writing too. | ||
Like, you can get out of a joke easy by just adding swear words or adding sexual innuendo or stuff like that. | ||
But that's like just an exercise. | ||
Like when you're actually expressing yourself, when you're actually doing the work, like going on stage, doing a show, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
Otherwise, it's not stand-up. | ||
And it's either funny or it's not funny. | ||
I mean, if it's not funny, you just weren't funny. | ||
But it's not because it's the subject matter. | ||
That's just fucking stupid. | ||
That's stupid. | ||
Because anything can be, almost anything can be funny. | ||
I'm sure there's probably a few things that can't be. | ||
But for the most part, if you think it's funny, if you have a point, it's possible. | ||
Did you see what happened with Hannibal the other day? | ||
Another thing? | ||
Yeah, he got a gig at Loyola Chicago, and they cut his mic after he supposedly said some stuff that they mutually agreed he shouldn't say. | ||
What? | ||
He put the email up on a projector, I guess, and was making jokes about the Catholic Church. | ||
Hannibal Buress' sex stand-up set is interrupted at Loyola after his sex abuse joke. | ||
They cut his mic, and then everyone started booing. | ||
Everyone was laughing, apparently. | ||
And all the kids are saying they should have known what they were getting themselves into, basically. | ||
Well, you can't do colleges, man. | ||
I've been telling people. | ||
You can't do colleges. | ||
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No way. | |
It's not worth it. | ||
It's not worth it. | ||
It's a lot of money, though. | ||
That's the thing. | ||
Colleges will pay you some serious cash. | ||
When I was coming up in the early days, I did one of those NACA conferences, National Association for College Campus Activities, I think it is. | ||
And if you get booked by a bunch of schools, dude, it is amazing. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
You make thousands of dollars. | ||
It is great. | ||
That was the first time I made good money. | ||
I would travel, and I'd go to all these different weird fucking Olivet, Michigan, some university there, some weird university in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, and they'd take you out. | ||
To some local fucking country bar afterwards. | ||
You're doing shots with kids who go to school there. | ||
Because I was basically their age. | ||
Or a couple years older. | ||
This is when I was like 23 or 24 maybe. | ||
And they were all like 20. So we're all like in the same wheelhouse. | ||
And then there was people that worked at the school that were even older. | ||
They'd come out drinking with you, too. | ||
Different times, man. | ||
But you could make real money. | ||
Like, you'd do a gig and you'd make $1,000 or $1,500 or $2,000. | ||
Like, holy shit, for one show. | ||
It was crazy. | ||
For an unknown comedian? | ||
So everybody, like, aspired to do those college gigs. | ||
But back then, man... | ||
Even back then, they were real sensitive. | ||
Kids are real sensitive, and they're always looking to... | ||
They don't have a lot of life experience, right? | ||
So their life experience is limited to 18 years. | ||
Most of it's been under the care of their parents, for most kids. | ||
Then all of a sudden, they're at school, and they're flexing their wings and their muscles, and they object to things, and they've decided that these things are inappropriate, and these things shouldn't be said, and this isn't true. | ||
They can't take certain... | ||
They can't take a lot of sarcasm... | ||
They don't know. | ||
I mean, they take you literally too often. | ||
They think some subjects are just period taboo, because they are period taboo in offices and in some schools, and there's some things they can't say. | ||
So if they can't say it, they don't want you to say it. | ||
It's a very weird time for kids, you know? | ||
That's why it's so crazy that you have all these fucking dorks that are stuck in that system that graduated from college then started teaching and have these ridiculous Marxist ideas and loony fucking left-wing ideologies and they're brainwashing these kids about gender neutral or gender fluidity and making safe spaces and all this stupid shit like what you're doing is is like further cushioning and coddling them And then what are they going to do? | ||
They're just going to join academia as well? | ||
They're going to get through their schooling and teach in this weird insulated little thought bubble that you guys have created? | ||
So when people look at these people screaming and yelling and calling people Nazis and on school campuses and all this fucking chaos that's going on, this is what happens. | ||
This is what happens when you baby people. | ||
This is what happens when you set up this environment Where they can never, ever interface with the real world. | ||
They just exist in this super hypersensitive, hyper-progressive bubble where nothing is produced, nothing is created. | ||
You're just teaching people ideas. | ||
And you're teaching people ideas, and the ideas are being promoted by a person who, in a lot of situations, has never even been out in the real world working. | ||
It's a bullshit fucking thing. | ||
And then they have tenure, so they can never be fired. | ||
Woo! | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Nerfing. | ||
It's fascinating. | ||
It's pretty fascinating, though. | ||
You know, that these are these, in a lot of ways, it's kind of like royalty. | ||
In a lot of ways, it's kind of like weird political systems that get corrupt. | ||
Like things, ideas get corrupt as much as like finances get corrupt. | ||
Like, people feel a way to extract social points by promoting their ideas and by forcing their ideas down other people's throats and having them accept it and mimic that as well. | ||
It also reinforces that they're doing their life right and everybody else is doing their life wrong. | ||
So it becomes this weird psychological wrestling match that people are doing with people, you know, in the outside world. | ||
I mean, I've had a lot of guests on to talk about this subject, but I think this subject It's one of the reasons why it rings true to people is because I think we all realize this is happening in just in life in general and there's a lot of weird control battles going on in life in general and in Telling a guy that he can't have his dog say see I can't say see his dog and have his dog lift his arm up Telling a guy that he can't do that is just stupid. | ||
Because you're making it a way bigger thing than it should be. | ||
It should be a stupid video that no one cares about. | ||
I mean, it's still up on YouTube, so that shows you how stupid it is. | ||
Yank shit left and right. | ||
Right. | ||
Did you see what YouTube did to Crowder? | ||
When Steven Crowder went to an LBGTQ event in Austin, and he had a dude show up saying that he identifies as a robot, and he says all this really rude shit. | ||
Twitter got him in trouble, now YouTube. | ||
Was YouTube still have it up? | ||
I thought they put it up there. | ||
I thought it was demonetized. | ||
Twitter banned them. | ||
Yeah, but I thought YouTube banned them as well. | ||
Facebook banned them? | ||
No. | ||
Someone else did too. | ||
Someone else did too. | ||
It might be YouTube. | ||
Check. | ||
Either way. | ||
People are trying to control what people do and don't say. | ||
And I think when you do that, you run into real problems. | ||
Like, who the fuck are you? | ||
Who are you? | ||
Who are you to decide? | ||
You know? | ||
And even Noam Chomsky said something about Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson that free speech does not apply to hate speech. | ||
Like, what? | ||
Like, yes, it does. | ||
Yes, it does. | ||
That's crazy that someone who's really smart can say it doesn't. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Okay, so it's available on YouTube. | ||
So he put some post saying that he was blocked from something. | ||
Doesn't matter. | ||
The point is, one thing that's been shown is that they're trying to silence more, they're trying to stop the spread of conservative ideology and spread liberal ideology. | ||
Like, they're actively trying to do that. | ||
I feel like there's a real worry that when you have a platform, whether it's YouTube or something like that, That you could get infected by, say, shit posters. | ||
If shit posters just... | ||
They're more prolific, right? | ||
Just look at the comments on YouTube. | ||
In a lot of really popular things, the comments are horrific. | ||
Way disproportionate to how they would be in the real world. | ||
Like the comments and the anger that you find in a lot of YouTube videos, especially if you look at like the comments of podcasts. | ||
Holy shit, dude. | ||
People are opinionated, right? | ||
They got some crazy wild fucking opinion. | ||
Now, if you were YouTube, you'd be like, we have to figure out a way. | ||
To stop people from saying faggot. | ||
Or we have to figure out a way to stop people from doing this. | ||
Or stop people from being homophobic. | ||
We have to figure out a way to stop people from supporting Trump. | ||
We have to figure out a way to stop people from talking about the wall. | ||
We have to figure out a way. | ||
And as soon as you start doing that kind of stuff, you run into a real slippery road. | ||
You're deciding what people should and shouldn't be able to say. | ||
Even if it's legal. | ||
That gets real weird because then you don't have a free speech platform. | ||
You have a left-wing platform. | ||
Like, your platform is now left-wing. | ||
And I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm saying it strengthens the position of the people that you oppose because they are being suppressed. | ||
Like, you can see they're being suppressed. | ||
Even if they're wrong. | ||
You put a guy in jail because his dog says, listen, pop, when he says, see, hi, like, boy, you just looked real fucking stupid to most people, and now the fight is on. | ||
And now it's going to be this swarm of controversy where people are freaking, I just found out about it yesterday. | ||
I just found out about it last night, I think. | ||
It might have been this morning when I woke up. | ||
YouTube has reported... | ||
Oh, did you hear about this? | ||
This famous conspiracy theorist, his videos have been coming up in the YouTube kids' app, teaching, like, Flat Earth-type shit, and, like, we didn't go to the planet or moon. | ||
Good stuff. | ||
Yeah, what a good move. | ||
YouTube's getting in a lot of... | ||
There's no way they can hold... | ||
There's too much! | ||
Here's the thing about YouTube. | ||
No, this is in defense of them because I had dinner with some bigwigs at YouTube and some of the stuff they said was very annoying and not calling things hate speech that just weren't. | ||
Like talking about someone who got a community guideline strike because they put a conversation up in their playlist between Sam Harris and Douglas Murray. | ||
Two intellectuals. | ||
And they said that it was because it was hate speech. | ||
And I was like, that is... | ||
The fact they could just say that just drove me nuts. | ||
But they're dealing with who knows how many videos every day. | ||
I mean, it's insane. | ||
How could they possibly even know the videos? | ||
Okay, the total number of people who use YouTube is... | ||
What is that number? | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
1,300,000,000. | ||
300 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute. | ||
Almost 5 billion videos are watched on YouTube every single day. | ||
In an average month, 8 out of 10 18 to 49 year olds watch YouTube. | ||
One of the things this woman said to me that I agree with her on, I mean, I believe her. | ||
Because this is not about opinion. | ||
It's about the way YouTube works. | ||
She said, right now we have very crude tools to find offensive speech, hate speech. | ||
They're very crude tools. | ||
Sometimes they miss the mark. | ||
And sometimes when you're dealing with like subtlety, like humor, like I could say, hey, you fuck. | ||
And, you know, people go, oh, he was angry. | ||
Like, obviously not. | ||
You hear the tone, you know, like someone saying that they're saying it to friends and they're joking around, they're being silly and everybody's laughing. | ||
YouTube misses that. | ||
They don't know what's humor and what's not. | ||
So are you saying that you can never make a joke about, you know, a guy's dick? | ||
Or you can never make a joke about a girl's vagina? | ||
Or you never make a joke about heterosexual sex? | ||
No, no, you can do that. | ||
Okay. | ||
Can I make a joke about gay sex? | ||
No. | ||
No, you can't. | ||
Oh, I see, because I'm not gay. | ||
Okay. | ||
Can I make a joke about white people? | ||
Yes. | ||
Can you make a joke about black people? | ||
No. | ||
Okay. | ||
What are we doing here? | ||
What are we doing? | ||
You're deciding what people can and can't say, and then they're also demonetizing things. | ||
And we've had some demonetized ones that were just like, okay, there's got to be some sort of an algorithm going on here, where there's a word we say, and that word triggers some sort of a response, and then they say that it's up for... | ||
We have it up for manual review sometimes, but our Douglas Murray one, where we talked about YouTube demonetizing videos, that one got demonetized. | ||
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
So it's like, okay, are they doing that to fuck with us? | ||
Or are they doing that because Douglas talked about radical fundamentalist Islam? | ||
Like, what is it? | ||
In their defense, it's just their platform. | ||
They should be able to do whatever they want. | ||
Should they, though? | ||
Because what are they then? | ||
Who is they? | ||
Who is they? | ||
The people they hired? | ||
Doesn't that shift? | ||
The assumption is that everybody who works in management, everybody who works behind the scenes, all shares a mindset? | ||
That's crazy. | ||
That doesn't even make any sense. | ||
That's not even a society. | ||
Like, group think tanks like that? | ||
Like, if they all agree? | ||
And this was one of the things that James Damore pointed out about Google. | ||
It's like, they don't leave any room whatsoever for conservatives. | ||
Like, they absolutely discriminate against conservatives. | ||
I'm not conservative. | ||
But if I was, and I worked at a company like Google, imagine how fucking on the outside you would feel. | ||
Like, is it illegal to be conservative? | ||
Like, isn't there a responsible, ethical form of conservatism that's not racist, not homophobic, but presumes that a conservative person in power would be more fiscally responsible, will have economic policies that they agree with, interventionalist policies they agree with? | ||
I don't think that that's outside the realm of possibility, that a reasonable person could be conservative. | ||
But if you work for any big tech company, that's not in the menu. | ||
You don't get to be that. | ||
Like, you don't get to promote that. | ||
You don't get to agree with that. | ||
It's weird. | ||
It's not good because it's not open speech. | ||
You're supposed to be able to talk shit through. | ||
I like to listen to someone who has a very strong opinion about something and see if it resonates with me. | ||
Now, if you stop that, it'll stifle that. | ||
I was just going to say, demonetizing a video, though, isn't... | ||
Censoring someone. | ||
It's encouraging censorship. | ||
This is why, because you don't want to be demonetized. | ||
If you have a video and that video can make you $500 if it's up and it gets ads, or it can make you $0. | ||
That's a $500 incentive for you to not talk about whatever the fuck got it demonetized. | ||
Right, but that then makes your argument of like, what were you making the content for in the first place? | ||
No, it doesn't. | ||
Or are you just making it to make money? | ||
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
It's a motivation for you to censor your speech. | ||
Whatever you're making it for in the first place, you presume that someone was just making it to make it. | ||
But there's an absolute monetary value if they put ads on it. | ||
So if they take away the monetary value and they do it specifically because you chose a certain subject, that is in fact a form of censorship. | ||
What they're doing is encouraging you to self-censor in order to make more money. | ||
They can say, hey, you can do whatever the fuck you want, but we're going to decide that if you talk about fill in the blank, that subject, no money. | ||
So don't talk about that subject anymore. | ||
They're not going to give you money because they're sharing that money with you, though. | ||
You could still share that video on your Twitter channel. | ||
You could still share it on your blog and still make money if you could find your own advertisers. | ||
I see what you're doing. | ||
I see what you're doing. | ||
But it's not a good argument. | ||
The reason why it's not a good argument is because they made a concerted decision. | ||
They made a very clear decision to take away the ads on videos where they don't like what you're saying. | ||
It just could be because they don't have advertisers that are willing to pay them. | ||
That's the way I would look at it. | ||
The advertisers didn't want to pay them because of Douglas Murray and Sam Harris talking? | ||
Maybe they couldn't find the money for it and they're like, ah, guess what? | ||
This is not monetized. | ||
Okay, but you don't know this. | ||
This is a weird suggestion. | ||
I'm making a guess. | ||
But you're doing this to try to reinforce your original opinion. | ||
It is censorship. | ||
It's a form of censorship. | ||
I think that demonetizing is not a good thing because of other ways, other reasons that it happens on YouTube because they then have an incentive to share monetized videos because they're making money on them. | ||
I get that, but it's just because it's demonetized. | ||
I understand that. | ||
YouTube has an incentive to share monetized videos because they're sharing in the profit of every single video. | ||
A monetized video, a creator doesn't get 100% of the money. | ||
They get half of the money. | ||
YouTube gets the other half. | ||
So if a video is monetized, they benefit in sharing it. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
So that even reinforces more the idea that they're censoring. | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
They're censoring the ability for it to be shared in the YouTube platform, not on the internet. | ||
That's true. | ||
But they're not censoring. | ||
What they're doing is promoting self-censorship. | ||
By giving you a fiscal reward for following their line. | ||
Again, that's just what I'm saying. | ||
As a creator, if you're making content to just make money on YouTube, then you have to play by the rules. | ||
I understand what you're saying. | ||
But what my point about all this is... | ||
What they're doing is they're making these decisions. | ||
And who is making these decisions? | ||
That also could be definitely said. | ||
They should say, these are the rules. | ||
I'm the person responsible for making that statement. | ||
What are the rules? | ||
Here's the thing. | ||
They don't say that. | ||
They don't say that. | ||
This is what's weird about it. | ||
It's totally arbitrary. | ||
There's no, like, written law that you have to follow. | ||
There's no, like, oh, you can't say cunt. | ||
Because if you say cunt, you know, Playtex doesn't want to advertise in your fucking video anymore. | ||
Right. | ||
No, there's not that. | ||
It's weird. | ||
Yeah, they don't tell you what the demonetized video is. | ||
Like, when we get one, they don't say it's because you guys talked bad about YouTube. | ||
No, they don't say shit. | ||
It's fucking weird, man. | ||
Vimeo's never fucked with me in eight years. | ||
YouTube fucks with me every day. | ||
Right, but the thing about Vimeo is the difference in the numbers is so radical. | ||
Like, if we have a video that gets a million hits on YouTube, it'll get 20,000 on Vimeo. | ||
But... | ||
I've been using Vimeo Live lately, and if you have YouTube Live and you look at the chat room in YouTube, 90% just negative, angry, poor shit. | ||
Vimeo community, I think we had like 400 people last night watching Kill Tony. | ||
Everyone was positive, just nice, happy, no negative trolling. | ||
It's not popular yet. | ||
Yeah, but it was a different environment. | ||
It's like a small town. | ||
That's what I don't get. | ||
YouTube, they don't have things like IP bans there. | ||
If you get banned on YouTube, you just get a new Gmail address, and now you have a new fucking thing. | ||
Where other places like Vimeo and stuff like that, you get banned, you're pretty much banned banned. | ||
That's how it should be, right? | ||
Right. | ||
It's like YouTube's own damn fault. | ||
But who should be deciding... | ||
If you get banned banned... | ||
It's gonna be an IP ban that someone was at your house and now you're banned from using YouTube because someone was over or a neighbor is using your Wi-Fi and they fucked you. | ||
It's also your responsibility to know that, I guess. | ||
What if you're at an Airbnb? | ||
I mean, that's like looking at kiddie porn. | ||
Like, go to your friend's house and look at kiddie porn. | ||
You'd get arrested, you know, because it's your IP address. | ||
Or if you go over a friend's house and watch his kiddie porn. | ||
Do you get arrested? | ||
What if you do it in a car? | ||
You're not supposed to watch it, right? | ||
No. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Are you allowed to listen to it? | ||
It's a good question. | ||
Yeah, right? | ||
No, I bet you're not. | ||
I mean, but that's one of those things where we decide that people shouldn't have that in their life, you know? | ||
But here's the question. | ||
What are they going to do when they have CGI that they can program to have very realistic-looking I don't know about that. | ||
Disney's latest research project can turn scripts into virtual reality? | ||
What is that? | ||
Something new. | ||
It's definitely not out yet, but they just showed this thing that they can turn written scripts into very crude CGI virtual reality experiences. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So this is just the early version of it. | ||
This might take off if they decide to continue to push money into it and figure it out. | ||
So the words get deciphered by the computer which creates images? | ||
I believe so. | ||
I was trying to read it to understand it. | ||
That's just sort of what they're saying. | ||
That's so cool. | ||
That's sweet. | ||
That's so crazy. | ||
But that's inevitable. | ||
This is probably going to be like the upper-level CGI. Like, you're going to be able to write it, then you're going to be able to talk into it, and it's going to create things. | ||
You're going to have a fucking headset on, and you're going to be in a room, and you're going to say, I want to be in the Avatar world and ride a dragon, and I want to be blue, and I want to have a bow and arrow, and I want to go to the Tree of Life, and all that shit's going to be right in front of you. | ||
Yeah, they're going to just be able to do it with virtual reality based on your suggestions. | ||
And then they're going to figure out a way to get your brain to interface with that thing. | ||
Whereas they've already figured out a way to get a kid to move his cursor. | ||
Someone was paralyzed and they got this person to move their cursor. | ||
I don't know if it was a kid. | ||
They've had a bunch of different things where they've used the mind to control things. | ||
I did a thing on Joe Rogan Questions Everything where I put this headset on and I got... | ||
A drone to listen to me. | ||
I could get it to lift up off the ground if I thought a certain way. | ||
And that shit is coming. | ||
It's already out. | ||
But I mean that shit in like in your mind be able to conceive a whole different world. | ||
Did you see Annihilation? | ||
No. | ||
It's trippy. | ||
What's that? | ||
That's the new movie from the Ex Machina guy? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
That's good. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
Trippy. | ||
Trippy to the point where you go... | ||
What am I watching here, Jamie? | ||
I think I showed you this once before, but this is a good video of it. | ||
This is an eye-tracking thing that's built into laptops. | ||
It's built into Alienware laptops now. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
This guy's just looking at those dots and they're exploding. | ||
His eyes are just eyes. | ||
His eyes are just mice. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
And it works really well. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So your eyes control the mouse? | ||
Yeah, you can play games with it too. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
He's moving around the world with just his eyes. | ||
No way. | ||
That would be amazing for your eyes. | ||
That seems like an awesome eye exercise. | ||
I bet it's not there yet though. | ||
This is very, very new and it's already out and they just announced the new Vive Pro. | ||
Yeah, if you try to play Quake on this, they're gonna fuck you up. | ||
Try to use your shitty eyes and some dude's holding a mouse. | ||
But it's very close to having this, like, with either in your phone, so you can just control games on your phone or put that in a little AR, VR headset. | ||
I can't say I'm shocked. | ||
Ready Player One this Friday. | ||
What is that? | ||
The book. | ||
Have you ever heard of Ready Player One? | ||
It's about the future. | ||
It's a new Spielberg movie that comes out, I think, Friday. | ||
Oh, I've seen the ads for that. | ||
It's badass. | ||
Yeah, that looks crazy. | ||
Whew! | ||
unidentified
|
This... | |
It describes the whole future you keep bringing up, like, everyone lives in a pod just locking into the VR world. | ||
It's gonna happen! | ||
It's going to happen. | ||
This is Columbus, Ohio. | ||
Dude, how many people do you run into that are just not doing good? | ||
They're not living a good life. | ||
Like, everything's not going so well. | ||
Like, I was just in Fresno the other day, and, um, uh, When we were driving, Tony and I did a gig up there. | ||
When we were driving around the town, there's streets filled with homeless people. | ||
I mean homeless, like encampments everywhere. | ||
I mean there's people that just are in a bad place and it's not going to get any better where they live. | ||
If someone comes along and introduces something and it's just like a cell phone, everybody has it. | ||
And you all lock into that thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Columbus, Ohio, 2045? | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
This is what it's like. | ||
Homeless people all over the street. | ||
He puts his headset on and now he's in the world. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The real cool thing I think about the movie, which is the plot, which doesn't give away much because I haven't read the book, so I don't know. | ||
It sounds like something that could happen soon is that there's like a bug in the game and there's a prize for it. | ||
Everyone's going after the bug prize. | ||
Whoever can find it gets money. | ||
Like Willy Wonka style, yeah, you get the whole thing. | ||
And what's really interesting is that the movie also has, because you pick an avatar, just like a video game or Facebook, so people are picking like, I want to be King Kong. | ||
So King Kong's in it, and like Back to the Future cars in it, and Akira's motorcycles in it. | ||
Iron Giant's in it. | ||
Oh, Freddy Krueger's in it. | ||
So they got to use a lot of different franchises. | ||
There's the Speed Racer car. | ||
Back to the Future. | ||
Yeah, I mean, this is all inevitable. | ||
I mean, if they're going to continue the same path that they're on now, if you go back and look at the video games we used to see when we were kids, when you play Mortal Kombat, On a console. | ||
It was kind of cool. | ||
But compared to this, it's like Pong, right? | ||
It's going to happen. | ||
It's just going to keep going. | ||
It's just a matter of where it's going to leave us. | ||
We're not going to be people anymore real soon. | ||
Within a hundred years, we're not going to be people anymore. | ||
We're going to be some weird new thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you think we'll be here? | ||
I don't think so. | ||
We'll be dead. | ||
But, like, that thing that's on the bottom of the ocean that they found, that dinosaur thing, we're going to be like one of those things. | ||
Like, oh, Jesus. | ||
Like, that thing, like, it's crazy because we know that they used to exist, right? | ||
So if we find one today, like, wow, that thing's still here? | ||
That's going to be, like, people. | ||
They find some dude who's living in the mountains outside of Colorado. | ||
He's, like, catching his own fish. | ||
He's 116 years old. | ||
And they finally, like, look at this guy. | ||
He's got no electronics in his whole body. | ||
Do you think it'd be like Amish people would still last through that, for instance, or would that be them? | ||
We'd kill those people. | ||
unidentified
|
Eat them. | |
They would have to kill them. | ||
The robot people would have to kill the Amish people. | ||
You can't have them around. | ||
They would think, they would say, well, are they like wildlife? | ||
They're like wildlife after a certain point. | ||
Because if we all started out as some sort of proto-hominid back in the early days of evolution, right, we started as some sort of primitive primate and then eventually evolved to be what we are now. | ||
But there's still chimps around. | ||
There's still monkeys around. | ||
There's still a lot of primitive primates. | ||
Like, did they evolve at a later date? | ||
Did they start later than us? | ||
Did they get a different call time to the race? | ||
Like, what happened? | ||
Or did some things stay the same while other things change? | ||
And it's just the rate of change seems so spectacularly quick, but it's only because of our perspective. | ||
But really, there could be groups of people, and might be the Amish, that stay exactly the same. | ||
And then the new beings treat them like colobus monkeys in the jungle. | ||
Or like some fucking weird giraffe that you see when you go on a safari. | ||
Like, look, look, the people that make their own butter! | ||
They're real! | ||
They're real! | ||
And we'd wave at them, hello! | ||
I love your wagon! | ||
I mean, really, they could become wildlife. | ||
They could become a very primitive form of wildlife. | ||
They could become like uncontacted tribes in the Amazon where we just leave them alone and we think they're novel. | ||
Look, look! | ||
They're painted all red, their whole body. | ||
They have a bow and arrow that they made themselves. | ||
This is amazing! | ||
We get all excited about it, but it's the same exact shit. | ||
Same exact shit to us. | ||
When the new things take over, they just keep the Amish, they keep tribespeople, they keep the weird shit that's not gonna fuck with them. | ||
Anything that doesn't know how to work electricity. | ||
All those people that are out there living without electricity? | ||
You know? | ||
Like those Alaska, the last Frontier shows, those people would have to all plead for their life. | ||
You'd be like, look, I'm just here. | ||
I'm just taking care of cattle, and I'm not planning on getting any weapons. | ||
We like a simple life, and we're happy for our robot overlords. | ||
Congratulations on your victory, and just leave us up here with the river. | ||
Fuck that, right? | ||
When I was getting my eyes looked at, the doctor said that how people's eyes are a lot worse nowadays. | ||
And remember when you were a kid, your mom was like, don't sit so close to the TV. But now we're putting goggles in our eyes, like one inch from our eye. | ||
Why are we doing that? | ||
Why does no one talk about eye health? | ||
Because it seems like... | ||
If my optrician, or whatever she's called, is telling me about, like, oh, dude, you should get these blue blocker things now. | ||
Everyone's eyes are so stressed nowadays. | ||
I think that's true. | ||
I think eyes are definitely stressed. | ||
But it's also that we're getting old. | ||
When you get old, your eyes go to shit. | ||
Everybody always has. | ||
Except, like, my friend Cameron Haynes, he's 50, his fucking eyes are like 20-18 or something. | ||
It's crazy! | ||
Like, I had a crack on my iPhone, I dropped my iPhone, and I looked at it, I'm like, eh, I think it's alright. | ||
He goes, no, you got a crack. | ||
I go, really? | ||
He goes, where? | ||
He goes, right in the lower right-hand corner. | ||
I'm like, motherfucker. | ||
I'm like, how did you even see that? | ||
He could see it from my hand. | ||
Like, my hand over here. | ||
And he's here. | ||
He's like fucking five feet away from me. | ||
He can see it. | ||
I got this fucker inches from my face. | ||
I can't see it. | ||
I mean, it's been three years since I got my eyes checked, and I used to always be perfect. | ||
This was the first time where that bottom row, I was like, is that an eight or a zero? | ||
Is that an eight or a zero? | ||
Those are rough. | ||
You get a menu in a restaurant, you're like, okay, I'm going to have to start a fire to see this. | ||
I'm gonna have to bust out a light or like a fucking concert. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or use the... | ||
It gets super obnoxious if you use your phone. | ||
That light on your phone like... | ||
Or there's a magnifying app on the phone now where it like zooms in a little. | ||
You just can't see. | ||
It's just dark. | ||
My low light sensitivity is way different. | ||
I'm just... | ||
I think it's probably because my brain is overwhelmed by brightness too much. | ||
You know, like staring at a computer screen. | ||
That's one of the things that I like about that Right Room app. | ||
unidentified
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I'm gonna sneeze, unfortunately. | |
That Right Room app gives you a dark black screen with green writing. | ||
I guess that's what these glasses do. | ||
They block the blue light. | ||
It's kind of like night mode on your Mac or your phone where it turns yellow. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
But that's supposedly way better on your eyes. | ||
I'm sure it's better, but we're still fucked. | ||
Yeah, we're all fucked. | ||
We're going down. | ||
It's going down. | ||
They're going to replace our eyes with awesome eyes. | ||
Yeah, but I can't wait. | ||
Oh, these drops, yeah. | ||
They have to see some new eye drops they think they're going to be able to put in your eye and you never have to wear glasses again. | ||
What do they do though? | ||
Is it a genetic thing? | ||
It's nanoparticles. | ||
Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
That's how they're gonna get in. | ||
They're getting in through your eyes. | ||
So how does it explain how it works? | ||
I guess you probably have to drop them in every couple weeks or every week or maybe even every day. | ||
It's not for sure yet, but it's not even out yet obviously either. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
It's just very new. | ||
It works though. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Three-step process. | ||
Perform with a smartphone. | ||
Oh, the measurement of the eyes are fractional. | ||
Wow. | ||
And you'll just be able to drop it in there. | ||
Apply to the eye for less than one second. | ||
A laser. | ||
So then doctors create a very specific laser pattern, which is applied to the eye for less than one second. | ||
The laser creates tiny grooves in the surface of the cornea. | ||
Lastly, special eye drops are applied. | ||
Whoa! | ||
Does not seem like a good idea. | ||
So they get a measurement of your eye refraction, which can then be performed with a smartphone. | ||
Wow! | ||
That can be performed with a smartphone, the first part. | ||
And then the doctors create the laser pattern, and then they fucking stormtrooper your eyeball, drop some chemicals on there, and the chemicals get in through the holes that you've made in your eyeball. | ||
unidentified
|
Uh-oh! | |
What? | ||
Look at that chick on the right. | ||
How amazing is that? | ||
What if that works? | ||
I mean, I think that's going to happen with that. | ||
Hearing will probably get something for that soon, too. | ||
What if it's one of those artificial hip things? | ||
Like, an artificial hip is like, it does work, but I'm always like, man, I feel like they're going to figure out a better way in like five years. | ||
Like, how long can you hang in there? | ||
I feel like they're so close to regenerating tissue. | ||
They're regenerating all sorts of cartilage in people and certain people that have had, like, I know women had bladder cancer. | ||
They regenerated an entire bladder for her made out of skin tissue. | ||
They did this all with stem cells. | ||
And Mel Gibson's dad. | ||
Yeah, that dude was, his dad was 92 and he was, like, on the door. | ||
And got shot up with stem cells, and now he's not even in a wheelchair anymore. | ||
unidentified
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That's great. | |
Yeah, the whole story was like, what? | ||
Like his hip was bothering him so bad that he was in a wheelchair. | ||
Goes and gets shot up with stem cells, and then all of a sudden he's walking around. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, and this is like without being able to be fully explored in the United States. | ||
Like, they have to go to Panama to do this. | ||
That guy, Dr. Neil Reardon, is working to try to bring it to Texas. | ||
And if anybody would be like, we don't give a fuck, let's do it, it would be Texas. | ||
You know, because this is all adult stem cells. | ||
There's no issues with fetal stem cells, so religious people wouldn't get involved in it. | ||
And there's a lot of folks that have some serious fucking injuries. | ||
This shit could really help. | ||
Hell yeah. | ||
Even I heard that you could do things for the mouth now, like teeth, regrow gums and teeth and using stem cells. | ||
You could pretty much do anything now. | ||
I believe it. | ||
Stem cells. | ||
I think this is only one step. | ||
I think when, you know, we're thinking back like 20, 30 years ago, you never heard about this shit, and now you're hearing about it, like how much better is it going to be in 20, 30 years from now? | ||
I mean, how much of it is going to be nanoparticles mixed with stem cells and they just fucking regenerate your whole body, you know? | ||
I think that's what's gonna happen. | ||
I think people are going to be able to not just regenerate limbs, but I think they're gonna be able to regrow your body, like refresh your body. | ||
Like whatever your old bullshit ass cells that you have in your body, they're gonna figure out where the memories are actually stored. | ||
That's gonna be that's gonna be a trip if we find out that memories are not just in your head but also in your body. | ||
So like what if we completely redo the body but keep the brain and you don't remember shit? | ||
Your brain is just a conduit for these memories that are stored in your soul. | ||
And you've kind of replaced yourself with some fake zombie body with nanobots. | ||
And the brain doesn't remember shit. | ||
Are shadows memories? | ||
That doesn't make any sense. | ||
They do think that people have neurons in their heart. | ||
That this idea of following your heart and thinking with your heart... | ||
Apparently there's more neurons in the heart than there are in the brain. | ||
Is that true? | ||
And gut. | ||
And gut. | ||
The heart and gut than there are in the brain? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I just knew my stomach was smarter than my head. | ||
It's not brain cells, so I don't think that works. | ||
No, just neurons. | ||
But that makes sense, right? | ||
Trust your gut? | ||
You always heard that? | ||
Trust your heart? | ||
40,000 neurons in the heart. | ||
Whoa. | ||
How many is in the brain? | ||
Trust your heart. | ||
Trust your gut. | ||
Trust your mind, boy. | ||
unidentified
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Your mind is the only thing that controls your perspective. | |
I have a weird feeling about this. | ||
Well, that's the thing about eating healthy food. | ||
That's a big thing, is that you're changing the gut bacteria, which literally changes who you are. | ||
You have to think about it that way. | ||
Like, it changes the person you are. | ||
Because the person you are, all those things have to be in order. | ||
Your head has to be in order. | ||
You have to have the right amount of... | ||
Certain healthy bacteria in your system. | ||
Otherwise, it's not even you anymore. | ||
It's just some crazy takeover of Candida. | ||
According to the article I just found, about 40,000 in the heart, 100 million in the stomach, 100 billion in your brain. | ||
What? | ||
Oh, well, that's wrong. | ||
Whoever said that there's more in the heart, that's so wrong. | ||
Boy, I'm glad I googled that one. | ||
It says it's in both. | ||
It's in the heart and stomach. | ||
There's not more. | ||
What did I fucking, how did I read that then? | ||
How could someone be that off that I read it or is it just my memories that bad? | ||
I'm gonna go with my memory. | ||
Whatever it is, imagine that those memories in that heart remain in the heart and you transfer your heart into somebody else's body. | ||
That's what happens when people get heart transplants and certain people have said that they have certain weird cravings and they think about things that they never thought about before. | ||
It's like you might be literally interfacing with someone else's memories. | ||
Imagine doing someone else's memories in your body. | ||
Like people that get kidney transplants. | ||
Imagine you get some memories along with that and you're like, what is this, a dream? | ||
This is a dream. | ||
Or do I remember some shit I did when I was five but it wasn't me? | ||
Like think about your memories of being five how fleeting how How like barely visible how like in the darkest darkest darkest corner of what you could Possibly describe as a real memory in terms of like being able to describe all those everything around you It's like almost nothing there almost nothing there. | ||
I'll give that to somebody else Give that to somebody else. | ||
And they have that shit just bouncing around their head. | ||
And they're like, am I crazy? | ||
Do I really think this? | ||
Is this a dream? | ||
Or what's a... | ||
It's that fucking kidney. | ||
I believe in that shit. | ||
Somebody else's DNA mixing with yours? | ||
Well, I think it's because of the heart thing. | ||
Because it has neurons. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, they don't know, right, where memories are stored. | ||
Do they? | ||
Do they know that for sure? | ||
The question would be... | ||
Every cell in your body reproduces, right? | ||
Every cell in your body changes, and over the course of seven to eight years, you essentially don't have any of the same cells in your body except your neurons. | ||
Is that an urban legend or is that 100% real? | ||
I think that's 100% real. | ||
I think your body's cells change over. | ||
Yeah, I've always heard that. | ||
But the neurons do not. | ||
You have the same neurons forever, apparently. | ||
Yeah, which is one of the more interesting things about some of those neuroprotectant plants and then some certain funguses. | ||
Like, what is it, lion's mane that promotes neurological health? | ||
Yeah, there's certain mushrooms that actually are really good for your brain's development. | ||
It's really fascinating. | ||
I was just looking around. | ||
Every part of your body grows at different rates. | ||
But over the course of eight years, is that what they said? | ||
Every eight years, the whole thing's changed over. | ||
It's like you're a new person every eight years. | ||
Yeah, but except your neurons. | ||
Now, if your neurons are where the memories are stored, that would kind of make sense. | ||
But I think my theory, and I'm a fucking... | ||
I'm no scientist. | ||
But my theory is that memories that you have are really just memories of how you remember your memories. | ||
That all of our memories are like these weird whispery stories, you know? | ||
It's like a copy. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, like I... I just... | |
There's certain things that I've done in my life where I'll look back and I'm like, I don't even really think that was me. | ||
You know, like the martial arts stuff in particular. | ||
I do not think that's me. | ||
I think that definitely wasn't me. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or, like, even when I watch myself on news radio, I'm like, that isn't even me. | ||
Like, I watch, like, a YouTube video, I'm like, that isn't even me. | ||
Like, that's weird that this is captured. | ||
And for most people, most of their life, right, up until, like, the last hundred or so years, that was never an option. | ||
It was never an option to go back and look at yourself from 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago. | ||
But now it's super commonplace. | ||
How much has that affected who people are because you become so much more self-aware, right? | ||
Remember that bit that I was doing last year about, like, I was doing my last Netflix special about the selfie? | ||
Somewhere along the line, people change the way they pose in pictures. | ||
Because if you look at the first pictures, people just stood there and looked hungry. | ||
All those pictures from the 1800s, they just look skinny and gaunt and hungry. | ||
And if you saw a picture from like 1860, and there was a girl with her butt out, and she was doing duck lips, Like, that bitch is a time traveler. | ||
There's no way. | ||
There's no way she could have been there. | ||
Like, there's no way someone at that time knew to pout, make kissy face, and do the peace sign and stick your ass out. | ||
Just, that's a pose. | ||
That's a modern pose. | ||
And it came about because of being extremely self-conscious. | ||
Because so many people see images of themselves. | ||
I mean, you saw Jumanji, the girl in Jumanji, the really pretty girl who's obsessed with taking photos of herself. | ||
That's fucking real as shit, man. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's what kids do. | ||
By the way, one of the best movies, surprisingly best movies I've seen in a long time. | ||
Great fucking movie. | ||
What a great take on it. | ||
Yes, I loved it. | ||
Who is this cat? | ||
Time traveler. | ||
Yeah, but that's how they lived back then. | ||
He's probably drunk. | ||
He's like, what are you going to do? | ||
Sit like this. | ||
Okay. | ||
Yeah, that's how they look. | ||
They look hungry. | ||
Imagine sticking it to her or him. | ||
unidentified
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Oh, Jesus. | |
He's one of them. | ||
The dude on the right looks like that one actor that's in all those movies. | ||
Imagine being in a small cabin. | ||
Go back up, please. | ||
Imagine being in a small cabin with that dude just playing that stupid guitar and singing these horrible songs with his rotten shit breath. | ||
They didn't even know what the fuck a toothbrush was. | ||
Your teeth just fell out of your fucking head like everybody else. | ||
That guy below, the boxer, looks like it's not even like he's trying to be tough. | ||
It's like he's doing off defense. | ||
I'm just going to lean away, see? | ||
I'm not even coming at you. | ||
unidentified
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I'm coming at you dick first. | |
That's what they would do. | ||
They would come at you dick first. | ||
Wow, this doesn't even look like he knows how to fight at all. | ||
Well, look at the way they would hold their hands up, too. | ||
They held their hands very differently. | ||
But those fights were very different fights because they had real small gloves. | ||
You couldn't get hit as much. | ||
You couldn't hit each other as much, either. | ||
Like, you couldn't just... | ||
Like modern boxing, where you just flowed with punches and got crazy with punches, you couldn't do that. | ||
You'd break your hands. | ||
You had to be much more judicious with where you hit people, and they clinched a lot. | ||
Those old school boxers, they would grab each other and wrestle each other a lot and punch each other in the clinch. | ||
There was a lot more of that than there is now. | ||
It's a different world. | ||
So I guess they, just because in heaven, tiny gloves or no gloves, they just decided they're going to try to lean away from the punches more and just kind of jab at each other with knuckles. | ||
You can't just wade in like, I mean, you could if you were Mike Tyson, but they just didn't know how to do it right back then either. | ||
Like, even if you watch If you watch modern boxing, like you watch Canelo Alvarez versus Gennady Golovkin, and you see two of the highest level guys in the game go at each other, it looks so much different than watching old school boxing. | ||
Old school boxing was like, you had Sugar Ray Robinson who could have fought and been a world champion today, and then a bunch of guys he beat the shit out of, and then you have a bunch of guys that have one kind of style, and there's inconsistencies in the greatness. | ||
Some of them look like Marvin Hagler could have been a world champion today. | ||
And then other ones, you go back way far back, and you go, hmm, this guy's got this weird fucking style. | ||
I wonder if his style is just derived because of the little gloves. | ||
They just didn't know as much about boxing then. | ||
Go watch an old Jim Jeffries fight, and then imagine what Lennox Lewis would do to him. | ||
There's levels that guys got to. | ||
They were on another level, clearly. | ||
Clearly. | ||
Who's that referee, that boxing referee that's been, like, in a video lately on Twitter? | ||
That is, like, the funniest shit. | ||
I don't remember his name, but I know what you're talking about. | ||
He, like, loves his job, and he's just in the background, like, smiling. | ||
Yeah, it's hilarious. | ||
I forget his name. | ||
But it's a great video, though. | ||
His expressions are fucking hilarious. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Dudes get popped and he goes, oh! | ||
Do boxing referees ever go to the UFC? Or this guy. | ||
What is his name? | ||
Steve Willis. | ||
Steve Willis. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
I usually just reload and shit like that. | ||
The whole video is just still video. | ||
Oh, it's a still video. | ||
Oh, that's probably what it is. | ||
He's a hilarious guy. | ||
He gets very excited. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he's a good referee. | ||
He's great. | ||
Not just enthusiastic. | ||
I mean, that's a good thing to do, to give a guy a real clear eight count. | ||
Oh, dude. | ||
He's got the best expressions. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
Terrence Crawford. | ||
Terrence Crawford beats your ass and then talks shit after you get stopped. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know who Terence Crawford is? | ||
He's one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world, Brian. | ||
You better learn. | ||
You better go get yourself learned. | ||
What is that? | ||
Floyd Connertalk, there's an open bet already. | ||
Floyd Mayweather, applying for MMA license, wants six to eight months to train. | ||
He's screwed! | ||
This is a, in my opinion, this is a 40% proposition, which means it's 40% likely that he might actually do this. | ||
The reason why he might do this is because I think they will give him an ungodly sum of money. | ||
I mean an ungodly sum. | ||
And I think they should. | ||
I think that if the UFC can talk Floyd Mayweather into going into an MMA ring, first of all, they should give him... | ||
Everything they can get their greasy paws on to get them to fight Conor in an MMA fight. | ||
Just say, look, we can give you CM Punk. | ||
We'll give you CM Punk for half a billion. | ||
This is a lot of money, but you can go through that in five years. | ||
Instead, how about we give you Conor McGregor for a full billy? | ||
And we'll give you six to eight months to practice jiu-jitsu. | ||
Six to eight months to just figure out how you're gonna get fucked up. | ||
He'd be screwed. | ||
He wouldn't just be screwed. | ||
That's unfair for people that have been screwed. | ||
You would need a way more outrageous example. | ||
It's not just getting screwed. | ||
Someone said it should be a thousand to one. | ||
That's not high enough. | ||
It's not high enough. | ||
If Conor McGregor was going to fight Floyd Mayweather in MMA, it is as close to 100% as anything ever gets ever. | ||
Because if you think Floyd is all of a sudden going to become this... | ||
Fucking one-punch destroyer like John the Beast Mugabe in the 1980s or whatever the fuck that was. | ||
If you think that's gonna happen out of nowhere, you're crazy. | ||
That's not what's gonna happen. | ||
What's gonna happen is he's probably gonna punch Conor in the face a couple of times. | ||
It's probably gonna suck, but Conor's gonna get a hold of him and then he's gonna be like a baby. | ||
And if that doesn't happen, he'll kick Floyd's legs out from under him. | ||
He'll kick his legs sideways. | ||
He'll kick them from the outside. | ||
He'll kick them from the inside. | ||
He'll stay way the fuck away from any sort of a range where Floyd can punch him. | ||
It'll be a completely alien range for Floyd. | ||
And every time Floyd goes in, front kick to the stomach. | ||
Boom! | ||
Front kick to the stomach. | ||
Boom! | ||
Front kick to the stomach. | ||
How many of those can you take? | ||
Okay, boom! | ||
Inside leg kick. | ||
Boom! | ||
Outside leg kick. | ||
He's laughing at you now. | ||
Now he's talking shit and you realize you gotta get past those legs. | ||
You try to close the distance. | ||
Boom! | ||
Spinning back kick to the liver. | ||
Fuck! | ||
What are you gonna do now? | ||
What are you gonna do now? | ||
You're gonna be picked apart until he decides to take you to the ground and cut your face open with elbows. | ||
How about that? | ||
How about he pins your right arm down with his left shin, gets on top of you, and just starts smashing the edge of the elbow into your eye sockets, into your nose, cuts across your forehead, slices you open like a fucking melon. | ||
You don't have a chance. | ||
No one has a chance that hasn't had a long history of grappling and getting kicked. | ||
It's like a regular boxer, especially the best ever like Floyd, is phenomenal at what he does. | ||
But if you put takedowns and kicks into that, it changes everything. | ||
Changes everything. | ||
He'd be fucked! | ||
I wonder if he's done any training at all. | ||
Well, I know he's talked to Tyron Woodley, and Tyron Woodley was apparently willing to help him prepare. | ||
That would be very interesting, because Woodley's had some issues with Conor. | ||
I don't think he's going to fight Conor, though. | ||
I think if he does choose to fight MMA, I really believe the move is, the correct move is, he fights someone like CM Punk. | ||
Because with CM, you've got a guy who's been training in MMA for a long time now. | ||
It's been a few years. | ||
Not a long time, but a few years now. | ||
He had one MMA fight in the UFC, but was very overmatched. | ||
It really wasn't fair, like, for him. | ||
That kid, I mean, it's just the difference between the two of them. | ||
You know, Mickey Gall is a real, professional, elite fighter. | ||
I mean, he can beat really good guys. | ||
He's just not in that world like CM Punk's a 40 year old guy who is a professional entertainer Who is basically a beginner, but he knows enough where you would we would bet money on him He knows enough for you like imagine if CM Punk who is a big guy he cuts down to 170 and compared to Floyd Floyd's fought it like I think he fought it started his career I want to say 130, | ||
135. Go to Floyd Mayweather's beginning fights. | ||
But at the very least, he's definitely fought at 145. As a grown man, he's fought at 155. CM Punk's way bigger. | ||
He's just a way bigger guy. | ||
So if he could figure out a way to get the fight to the ground and lock in something simple, like a guillotine, if he has a good guillotine, that's what I would say. | ||
If I was going to work with a guy like that, I would say, we're going to concentrate on one fucking choke and we're going to get that thing down to laser beam. | ||
Perfect precision. | ||
So just if you just spent all your time doing like one Marcelo Garcia style choke, just figured out one good choke, one where you know that if you get that chin down, you tuck it in and slap it on, one choke, whatever it is, that you know how to close that fucker up 90% of the time on people that know how to defend. | ||
There's a lot of guys who have that. | ||
Like maybe they have a triangle or maybe they have a head and arm. | ||
Head and arm choke is a good one. | ||
That's a good one to master. | ||
Some guys just finish most people with that one choke. | ||
If he just had that and just got Floyd to the ground and just got his neck, it's super possible that he could win. | ||
It's possible that he could win. | ||
But it's also possible that Floyd can win. | ||
That's what makes that interesting. | ||
Because Floyd is still one of the best boxers of all time, if not the best. | ||
Still a fucking elite athlete. | ||
Still light speed in there. | ||
Like with his footwork and his movement, his head movement. | ||
He's so fast! | ||
He's gonna be way faster than CM Punk. | ||
So if CM Punk can't get a hold of him, and every time he moves in, he gets his face lit up. | ||
With a dude who's fast as fuck with six ounce gloves. | ||
Now he's got four ounce gloves on. | ||
Very little padding. | ||
And he's catching you right on the chin. | ||
And you can't do shit about it. | ||
You're trying to close the distance and he's stutter-stepping and moving in front of you. | ||
And CM Punk is not like the best kicker in the world. | ||
I'll buy it. | ||
I'll buy it. | ||
But he'll have to fight Mayweather if he comes to MMA. That would just have to be... | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
You mean you'd have to fight Conor. | ||
Conor. | ||
No. | ||
No, he wouldn't. | ||
You don't think so? | ||
No, he'd get killed. | ||
He would literally get killed. | ||
I know, but... | ||
He would get smashed. | ||
If he ends up doing MMA, you know everyone wants to see that. | ||
No, that's what everyone wants to see, for sure. | ||
I'd better Ronda and him fight. | ||
That would be a good fight. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I don't think he's gonna do it. | ||
I don't think he's gonna fight McGregor ever in MMA, but I think he might fight CM Punk. | ||
I believe that. | ||
I believe that can happen. | ||
I know that's not even like official talk, but I really believe that can happen. | ||
It sounds crazy, I know, but the whole thing sounds crazy. | ||
It sounds crazy to think that he could fight anybody in MMA. That he would be willing to do it. | ||
He must know something. | ||
Because he could just go into boxing. | ||
He must know that his time as a boxer is just done. | ||
But who cares? | ||
You have enough money to do what you want to do. | ||
Dude, you don't understand. | ||
You don't ball that way. | ||
You don't ball like he balls. | ||
He's balling on a level that neither of us could ever understand. | ||
You know how much money you have to spend to fly everywhere in private jets and have limos everywhere you go and have five Bentleys and six Ferraris and all the shit that that guy has? | ||
How much money it takes to maintain that lifestyle and then he's got a strip club and he's got a giant mansion He's got a bunch of people working for him all the time and he spends on everything that dude buys half million dollar watches He's just always buying shit. | ||
He buys the most ridiculous shit and puts it on his Instagram And gambles like crazy crazy gambling like bet a million dollars on a fucking basketball game Yo, did he win? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know I don't pay attention, dude. | |
I got shit to do. | ||
Look at that. | ||
The Money Team, timepiece. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
Look at that. | ||
TMT Hublot timepieces will only appreciate in value. | ||
Go to your nearest Hublot boutique and shop right now for my limited edition Hublot. | ||
Hashtag Hublot. | ||
Hashtag TMT, The Money Team. | ||
Go back to that again, please. | ||
Look at that fucking watch, man. | ||
Look at the diamonds in that bitch. | ||
Ooh! | ||
If you want to let bitches know that you got some... | ||
Real shitty taste in jewelry and a lot of disposable income. | ||
Look at that thing. | ||
That's pretty, actually. | ||
That's better than the other one. | ||
But the whole TMT thing, who the fuck's buying that? | ||
Who's going to buy another man's braggadocious logo on a watch? | ||
Not on a watch, but when you go to sporting events, I surprisingly see it a lot. | ||
Wear as a t-shirt, maybe. | ||
I get that. | ||
Big fan of what the guy's done. | ||
You see the selfie he posted? | ||
It's a nice romantic. | ||
It's beautiful. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What kind of hashtag is going on there? | ||
Early morning selfie. | ||
Early morning selfie. | ||
All right. | ||
Thank you. | ||
unidentified
|
Glad you did. | |
Hey, look, man. | ||
He's a silly fella, but he's also the greatest boxer of all time. | ||
He's also unbelievably physically talented. | ||
Sensory. | ||
Cryo. | ||
Yeah, he's got to learn about the one where your whole head goes under. | ||
Yeah, is that better? | ||
It's way better. | ||
Yeah, it's way better. | ||
Okay. | ||
I've seen enough money, team jewelry. | ||
But he's got millions of dollars in just jewelry. | ||
It's very interesting, man. | ||
It's very interesting. | ||
Because what he is, he's the most braggy, showy, rich type guy. | ||
And because of that, people go to see him fight hoping he's going to lose, and he always wins. | ||
It's a genius way to make yourself exciting because he has a really smart boxing style. | ||
His style is extremely defensive. | ||
He's one of the best defensive boxers, if not the best of all time. | ||
It's very hard to hit. | ||
So when he's boxing and he's hardly ever getting hit and winning decisions, there's got to be a way to get people to keep coming to these fights. | ||
This is the way. | ||
Have everybody rooting against you. | ||
Show everybody. | ||
Look at all this money. | ||
You ain't got shit. | ||
Look at all my money. | ||
Look at this car. | ||
Look at this house. | ||
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
It's kind of funny. | ||
Brian Redband, Peter's out at about an hour and... | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
Two hours and 40 minutes in is about all you got. | ||
No. | ||
It's everybody. | ||
Everybody gets tired except Kurt Metzger. | ||
We had Kurt Metzger on yesterday. | ||
He had 150 Red Bulls. | ||
Oh my gosh. | ||
He had 16 different Caveman coffee nitros. | ||
How many did he have while we were here? | ||
He had at least two. | ||
I think he walked in drinking one. | ||
I think he had two more early. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
One and a half at least. | ||
He had three total, and poor Owen Benjamin got talked over. | ||
So go to hugepianist.com and check out Owen's new special that he released. | ||
He shot it, filmed it himself, and released it on his website, which is Huge Pianist, because he's huge. | ||
I always forget how big he is. | ||
unidentified
|
He's a monster. | |
When he came in here, he gave me a hug yesterday. | ||
I was like a little kid. | ||
I'm dick height on him. | ||
He's 6'7". | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's 6'7". | ||
He's almost a foot taller than me. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
He's a giant human. | ||
And a big-barreled fucking... | ||
I think he's gotten bigger since he's moved to the woods. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Because he's been in upstate New York. | ||
I feel like he's grown. | ||
It just seems like he's, like, fitting into the environment. | ||
You know, there's a thing that animals do in the colder parts of their reach or where they roam. | ||
They get larger. | ||
So, like, if an animal in their range, that's the word I was looking for. | ||
Like, if an animal has a winter range, or an animal has a, like, say, like, white-tailed deer. | ||
Like, a white-tailed deer in Florida is a real tiny thing. | ||
They only have 100 pounds. | ||
If you go to a white-tailed deer in Saskatchewan, they're, like, 300 pounds. | ||
They're huge. | ||
They're giant-ass fucking deer. | ||
And that's like as big as a white-tailed deer gets. | ||
They look massive. | ||
They're just a different animal. | ||
It's because when the colder climates, they have to have more body mass to stay warm. | ||
That's why polar bears are the biggest fucking bears. | ||
Polar bears and then Kodiak grizzlies, I think, are also... | ||
They're pretty close. | ||
But the Kodiak brown bears, it's just because there's salmon everywhere. | ||
They're just feasting, these fucking monsters. | ||
Do your feet grow the older you got? | ||
I've gone up from like 10 to now I'm almost 12. Maybe it's those dick pills. | ||
I don't do that anymore. | ||
I do generic Viagra. | ||
That's a good move too. | ||
I think that when you're carrying around a lot of weight, Think about what you weigh and how many times your feet are walking around. | ||
I would imagine... | ||
But yours didn't... | ||
Yeah, mine did a half size. | ||
I used to be a ten and a half and then somewhere around 30-ish my shit was like getting cramped in a ten and a half. | ||
Then I moved to an 11. Although I have found recently that ten and a half fits better for me in those five finger shoes. | ||
For whatever reason. | ||
I think one of them might just get stretched out a little bit. | ||
They just get... | ||
I beat the fuck out of those things. | ||
I'm taking those things on these serious hills and they get stretched out. | ||
You're working out now. | ||
What are you doing? | ||
30 to 40 minutes of cardio and then about 20 minutes of weights. | ||
But I just did this new step cardio thing by mistake the other day and it killed me. | ||
Like the ones where you're kind of climbing upstairs while doing... | ||
The elliptical move. | ||
I did it for like 35 minutes, which is normal, but man, it broke me. | ||
I'm in so much pain right now. | ||
Yeah, your muscles get sore, but that's good. | ||
That means you're doing something that's difficult. | ||
What were you just saying, Jamie? | ||
I wonder how Bert's doing today. | ||
Bert's dead. | ||
Walking around. | ||
Yeah, he's hurting. | ||
He was saying that he's super sore. | ||
unidentified
|
Well, I mean, he's a silly boy. | |
But, hey. | ||
That was great that he did that. | ||
It's good that he did it. | ||
And he really didn't, I mean, he didn't, like, specifically prepare for it where he was doing, like, half marathons all the time. | ||
He just got over being sick for two weeks. | ||
He just went to a cryo place, looks like, for some help. | ||
He's out of control. | ||
Oh, so he went to cryo healthcare, then? | ||
Yeah, that's now, like, probably 20 minutes ago. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Which one? | ||
That looks like... | ||
I don't know which one that is. | ||
There's a few of those places now. | ||
Do you think that is a fad, or do you think this is going to... | ||
What, Bert? | ||
No, crud. | ||
No, there's real benefits. | ||
It feels good. | ||
It feels really good when you get out. | ||
Like, your body feels good. | ||
And it's because of your brain produces really strong chemicals when you're in there because it's, you know, it's going, holy shit, we're dying. | ||
It produces cold shock proteins, what they call them. | ||
And it also produces norepinephrine, which is like a version of adrenaline. | ||
Or it's a cousin of adrenaline. | ||
Isn't that how they described it? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, epinephrine is adrenaline. | ||
Joey Diaz just did it the other day. | ||
unidentified
|
He's like, this is about the kind of air conditioning I want in my house. | |
We would go into his hotel room when we would go on the road with Joey, and we'd open up the door and be like, Jesus Christ! | ||
Fucking penguins were waddling around inside of his room. | ||
50 degrees. | ||
He would, whatever that, when there was a slider, and you can get over to the blue, that shit would be pegged. | ||
Like, the coldest it could possibly get. | ||
That thing never shut off. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Remember those in-room ones that would kick on? | ||
They're real loud. | ||
And you're like, no! | ||
Bad ones spray on you. | ||
The worst is when they go on and off intermittently in the night. | ||
They just wake you up in the middle of the night. | ||
When we were at the Detroit Fillmore, they were talking about how men used to come in there during, you know, like whatever the fuck year it was when they invented this, when they built this amazing theater in Detroit. | ||
But it was one of the first places in town that got air conditioning. | ||
So people would buy a ticket just to come in and sleep. | ||
Because it was so hot in the summertime. | ||
And then they'd go there and they'd be like, oh... | ||
We just sit there. | ||
Snore. | ||
That's how, like, my gym is, 24-hour fitness. | ||
You got fucking homeless people who live in there. | ||
Oh, yeah, I'm sure. | ||
Taking showers there. | ||
That's what people do, right? | ||
If they want to live out of their car, they just get a 24-hour fitness membership. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I like going late at night. | ||
Like, sometimes we'll go, like, at one in the morning, and then you're just like, why is there so many people here? | ||
Oh, all these people are homeless. | ||
unidentified
|
That's so weird, right? | |
You know where to sleep? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Where do you sleep if you're homeless? | ||
Car. | ||
Cars? | ||
Yeah. | ||
If you have a car. | ||
But that's not... | ||
See, I think there's homeless, and then there's, I've got a car homeless. | ||
Right. | ||
It's like, damn, that guy's a pimp. | ||
You know, it's like, that's next level. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's a great video that's out right now about this guy who's an ultra-marathon runner. | ||
He's 76 years old. | ||
See if you can find it. | ||
I found it on Digg. | ||
It's called The Most Elusive Man in North America. | ||
And this dude has a school bus that he lives in. | ||
He parked this school bus in the woods, and he just runs every day. | ||
And they're all, like, looking for this guy. | ||
I want to say he's, like, 78 years old. | ||
Does it say? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, 76. 76 years old. | ||
He's 76 years old. | ||
And he runs ultra marathons. | ||
And this guy lives in the forest. | ||
You gotta go way till they find him. | ||
They had to go and seek this guy out and do these interviews with him. | ||
There he is right there. | ||
And so all he does is drink beer and run. | ||
Jesus. | ||
And eat food. | ||
And I think he lives by himself. | ||
And he lives in this tiny little thing. | ||
But what's fascinating is when you talk to him... | ||
When you sit and listen to the guy talk, you go, oh, well, this is a very intelligent man. | ||
And he just finds what he likes. | ||
What he likes to do is create trails. | ||
So he makes his own trails in the woods. | ||
He knocks over sticks and moves stuff aside and creates a path so that he can use it over and over again. | ||
And just runs all the time. | ||
He's just constantly pushing himself, but he's talking about challenging himself and the things that he does and why he does them. | ||
He doesn't need anything more than this bus to live in. | ||
See, the thing is, you would see someone like that and you'd dismiss them. | ||
And you'd go, well, that guy's a fool. | ||
But he's not a fool. | ||
And you listen to him talk and you go, okay, so this is his philosophy behind this. | ||
He's really thought this out to the point where he's become very comfortable just living in this bus in the middle of the forest. | ||
And he looks good for a guy who's 76 who runs hundreds of miles. | ||
I mean, he looks... | ||
Sexy Santa. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He doesn't look like he's going to enter any bodybuilding competitions, but he looks like a guy who's got vitality. | ||
He's got energy. | ||
He's... | ||
unidentified
|
Looks like a stout, creepy old dude. | |
He's got a lot of Iggy Pop going on with that skin. | ||
Oh, mad sun damage. | ||
Dude, this guy never even heard of sunscreen. | ||
He's just running out there with no shirt on. | ||
He's out here with no shirt on, just running. | ||
He looks malnourished. | ||
Well, he's definitely not eating a lot. | ||
I mean, where's he getting his food? | ||
I mean, I don't know where he's getting money from. | ||
I don't know how he does this. | ||
Yeah, I'm not really sure what he does for funds or if, you know, he tries to live off the land. | ||
And what land lets you just park a bus in there and just hang out and live? | ||
That's a good question. | ||
I mean, there might be places where you have permanent parking. | ||
He's got a watch. | ||
That's not a cheap watch. | ||
It's not that watch. | ||
No? | ||
How much does that watch cost? | ||
If that's one of those GPS watches, that's like five, six hundred bucks. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So it's like one of them Garmins? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's what it looked like. | ||
So he creates these paths that he runs. | ||
So he runs, he'll break a path down, create a trail, and then run it over and over and over again. | ||
Which is kind of interesting, right? | ||
Because he's following his own footprints. | ||
He's got Oakleys on, but he doesn't have sun lotion. | ||
Right. | ||
He doesn't give a fuck about skin cancer. | ||
He tells skin cancer to suck his dick. | ||
Look at him. | ||
He's like, you can't make leather cancer. | ||
Is he in Canada? | ||
That's why he had all those flags? | ||
Did he? | ||
British Columbia. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Somewhere in the mountains of Vernon, British Columbia, lives a 76-year-old man by the name of Dag Abbey. | ||
How do you say that? | ||
Abbey? | ||
Dag, Abbey. | ||
He has no cell phone or email address, revered by locals for having escaped from the shackles of modern society. | ||
He's the champion of the 80-mile ultramarathon, aptly named the Death Race. | ||
Abbey is the oldest person to have ever finished the race. | ||
Very fascinating, man. | ||
But here's the thing, the guy seems content. | ||
How many 76 year olds do you run into that are depressed, that don't seem content, that don't seem to have any vitality? | ||
I mean, we have to accept What life is going to give all of us and it's a fucking an end where your body's failing and you and I are starting to see that now with a shit vision, you know, I see it now with my My ability to recover from injuries like special especially this tendonitis over this tendonitis in my elbow and It's really shocking. | ||
Because I never had real tendinitis before. | ||
I didn't know how long it takes. | ||
I figured, ah, it's like a pulled muscle. | ||
Give it a couple months, it'll be alright. | ||
No. | ||
No, a couple months later, I still feel that fucking thing. | ||
I've done a lot of shit to it, too. | ||
Stem cells, PRP, Regenikine. | ||
It's getting better. | ||
But shit is not quick to heal. | ||
It takes forever, and you've got to be real delicate with it. | ||
I have that with my hands. | ||
Also, if I get out of shape now, I get out of shape, it takes way longer to get back into shape. | ||
It takes like double the time. | ||
Like when I did that hot yoga challenge, I hardly ever ran. | ||
I didn't do any, and I lost like a big step. | ||
It took me a solid two weeks to get back to where I was before doing yoga. | ||
We're going. | ||
It's going down just like that old man living in the forest. | ||
But he's got it right. | ||
He knows it's going down. | ||
He's leaving behind nothing. | ||
Jeremiah Watkins just lost all the weight he gained during that weight. | ||
It took him three months to lose it. | ||
We should make Tony get fat. | ||
We should force feed him. | ||
It's impossible. | ||
That dude just can't get fat. | ||
He's one of those guys. | ||
I mean, I think his whole life he's had that problem where he can eat as much as he wants. | ||
He'll never get fat. | ||
That's not true. | ||
He will definitely get fat, especially if he eats sugar. | ||
But Tony eats pretty healthy. | ||
He doesn't eat a lot of sugar. | ||
He doesn't fuck around with anything stupid. | ||
He'll occasionally put sugar in his coffee or something like that. | ||
But he's got a pretty good diet. | ||
I just think that he just... | ||
You know, that contest was bullshit. | ||
It was bullshit. | ||
It was bullshit. | ||
He wasn't really trying to gain weight. | ||
He was, like, trying to let Jeremiah win. | ||
Look at that. | ||
How it was before and now after. | ||
He lost it all. | ||
Good for him. | ||
It's not easy to lose weight. | ||
Brian will tell you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You lost 70 at one point? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, now it's, you know, I'm so happy with the relationship. | ||
Me and my girlfriend Cook's so nice. | ||
It's more me just going, hey, wait, there's a new quarter pounder? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I know. | ||
It's hard. | ||
That new quarter pounder, though. | ||
Whoa. | ||
Is it that good? | ||
Yeah, they're using... | ||
What's so good about it? | ||
They're doing what Wendy's has always done. | ||
They're using real meat. | ||
Oh, let's just go to Wendy's. | ||
Not frozen. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's a heavy burger. | ||
I was like, whoa, this is not like a bitch-ass quarter pounder anymore. | ||
unidentified
|
This is... | |
Feels different? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It feels heavier. | ||
That's like... | ||
Probably got more moisture. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, you know, those places like In-N-Out and Five Guys, they're always going to be a step ahead. | ||
But you can't just pull in and grab one. | ||
The thing about Wendy's is you can pull in and grab one. | ||
Like, it's like... | ||
It takes two minutes. | ||
And all of a sudden you've got a cheeseburger. | ||
Shake Shack? | ||
Have you gone to Shake Shack yet? | ||
Yeah, I've been to Shake Shack. | ||
It's okay. | ||
Pretty good. | ||
Shut the fuck up. | ||
There's no way it compares. | ||
To? | ||
To, like, In-N-Out? | ||
Yeah, it does. | ||
Oh, my goodness. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I don't like In-N-Out. | ||
Well, he's a Whataburger guy. | ||
He thinks Whataburger is better, but definitely the same level. | ||
Shake Shack is the place that has the chili with the spaghetti. | ||
No. | ||
unidentified
|
That's... | |
What? | ||
Steak and Shake. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Skyline. | ||
Okay. | ||
I fucked up. | ||
I fucked up. | ||
Pardon me, Shake Shack. | ||
I wasn't even thinking about you. | ||
I'm thinking of Steak and Shake. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Which also has cheeseburgers. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
I thought you were saying those... | ||
Yeah, but those are those little thin patties that are like... | ||
Right. | ||
I thought you were saying those are as good. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
My bad. | ||
I fucked up. | ||
Yeah, Shake Shack, I like way better than In-N-Out. | ||
I'm not a fan of In-N-Out. | ||
I'm a Five Guys fan. | ||
I love Five Guys. | ||
If I'm going to go off the rails and cheat, I'm going to get a double cheeseburger with bacon and jalapenos. | ||
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
That's how they call it, too. | ||
Their burger is a double burger by default. | ||
Yeah, by default. | ||
If you want a single, you've got to order it. | ||
Not a fan of the fries, though. | ||
I mean, a lot of people love their fries. | ||
Oh, I love their fries. | ||
Boring-ass fries. | ||
unidentified
|
Bullshit. | |
You gotta get them spicy Cajun ones. | ||
Yeah, I got that. | ||
unidentified
|
You can't handle it. | |
I eat, like, two of them, and I'm like, that's good. | ||
It's just, it's like rally fries. | ||
It's just, I don't like too much seasoning. | ||
Taco Bell has fries now. | ||
Those are actually supposed to be pretty good. | ||
That's not food. | ||
That might as well be a stationary store to me. | ||
When I pass by, I'm like, I'm not eating anything in there. | ||
unidentified
|
McDonald's fries all day, though. | |
I'm not a McDonald's Fries fan. | ||
I'm an In-N-Out Guys Fries fan. | ||
I'm Habit Burger McDonald's Fries. | ||
I think that in my world, it's Five Guys and In-N-Out are basically neck and neck. | ||
I bet if I didn't live around so many In-N-Outs, I would prefer In-N-Out more than I do. | ||
But I'm only around a couple of Five Guys, so Five Guys has some novelty. | ||
But Five Guys also has jalapenos. | ||
There's a lot of good I like about Five Guys. | ||
But they're fries I like better. | ||
unidentified
|
You don't like Wendy's as much as In-N-Out? | |
No. | ||
No chance. | ||
Not as good. | ||
If I were to take ten burgers here and blindfold you, you know? | ||
I would know what's the difference. | ||
If you just got it from a regular store. | ||
You remember I used to do a joke about actors being a lot like cheeseburgers because they never look like their pictures? | ||
Right. | ||
Especially actresses. | ||
But you never get a cheeseburger from Wendy's that doesn't look like it's been stuffed into one of those fucking foil things and pressed down. | ||
That's why you say pickles on the side so it makes fresh every time. | ||
Oh, you're tricky. | ||
Pickles on the side, tricky boy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You sure they don't open that bitch up and just take some pickles out? | ||
They're so fast at Wendy's somehow. | ||
That's a hack. | ||
That's a hack. | ||
The pickles on the side hack by Red Band. | ||
They're fast because they're never frozen, Jamie. | ||
They're good. | ||
I think they're good. | ||
I mean, I like Wendy's. | ||
Don't get me wrong. | ||
But I just don't think they can ever fuck with... | ||
This just doesn't taste as good as like Five Guys or... | ||
They don't really cook it right when you ask. | ||
Like when you ask for it at Five Guys, they go, what do you want? | ||
Okay. | ||
And you see the guy, take the patties, put it on the grill and start cooking it. | ||
That's just a different experience. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, burgers are burgers for the most part, but I just don't get the In-N-Out shit at all. | ||
You know what the best is? | ||
That nobody respects anymore. | ||
Fuddruckers. | ||
Dude, I used to go to Fuddruckers and get ostrich burgers. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
I went to Fuddruckers last week, man. | ||
It's still good. | ||
They have the nacho cheese, too. | ||
Yeah, they get squirt that cheese down. | ||
Why does Fuddruckers not get more love? | ||
I don't think there's that many of them around. | ||
They need to expand. | ||
Eddie Bravo and I used to go to 24 Hour Fitness in... | ||
Where the fuck is that one? | ||
unidentified
|
In... | |
Not studio. | ||
On the way to Encino in that area. | ||
What is that? | ||
What is that called? | ||
Sherman Oaks. | ||
In the Sherman Oaks Galleria. | ||
That's where it is. | ||
We'd go to eat there. | ||
We'd lift weights and then we'd go and eat at Fuddruckers and get ostrich burgers. | ||
Dude, they're phenomenal. | ||
And ostriches, you do not feel bad for ostriches. | ||
I had an ostrich peck me in the fucking head once. | ||
They're ruthless little cunts. | ||
What's ostrich taste like? | ||
I don't think I've ever had ostrich. | ||
Delicious. | ||
It's a red meat, which is weird. | ||
Ostrich is a red meat. | ||
Like, it looks like buffalo or something. | ||
It's a dark red meat. | ||
It's really good. | ||
It's supposed to be really high in nutrients, too. | ||
And ostrich eggs, as well. | ||
Ostrich eggs are, like, this fucking big, too. | ||
They're huge. | ||
We made people eat them on Fear Factor. | ||
They had to eat a whole egg. | ||
They had to drink a whole raw egg. | ||
Probably terrible for you, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Let's wrap this up, young red bear. | ||
Next Tuesday, I'll be on Brian's show that's at the Improv in Hollywood. | ||
It's at 8 o'clock? | ||
Yep, 8 o'clock. | ||
8 o'clock on Tuesday night. | ||
Then I'll be at Sam Tripoli's show at the store right afterwards. | ||
I'm fucking crazy! | ||
I'm doubling up! | ||
And when's your next shows? | ||
Are you doing the Ice House on Friday? | ||
Doing the Ice House Friday, but also me and Tony are going on the road with Kill Tony. | ||
We're going to be in Phoenix next week, April 5th. | ||
And then Nashville Comedy Festival, 420. Oh, shit. | ||
A lot of dates on the road, though. | ||
I'll be in the Ice House as well, right next door. | ||
So we'll be both working together. | ||
On Friday? | ||
Yes. | ||
Oh, cool. | ||
Friday and Saturday. | ||
I'm there this weekend. | ||
Nice. | ||
Alright, you fucks. | ||
So, deathsquad.tv for hats, t-shirts, all your stuff. | ||
unidentified
|
Tour dates, everything. | |
Tour dates, everything. | ||
Alright, folks. | ||
We'll be back tomorrow with MMA pioneer Pat Meletic. | ||
Very excited. | ||
Very excited to talk to Pat. | ||
That should be fun. | ||
And then... | ||
Vinny, Shorman, and Liam Harrison are going to come on Thursday. | ||
The Mosaic guy. | ||
What's that? | ||
Oh, the Mosaic guy. | ||
You gave him a shout-out already on Instagram, but we got this dope Mosaic. | ||
What is his name? | ||
It is TedMuntzMosaic.com. | ||
Yeah, M-U-N-T-Z? Yeah. | ||
Or M-U-N-Z. T-E-D-M-U-N-Z. M-U-N-Z. Yeah. | ||
M-U-N-Z. Amazing work. | ||
It's on my Instagram. | ||
Dude made an awesome mural, like a mosaic mural of the logo. | ||
All right. | ||
Thanks, everybody. |