Feb. 8, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:28:04
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| before we even start the podcast rest in peace john anthony west He died yesterday. | ||
| One of the coolest guys ever. | ||
| One of my favorite people that I ever got on the podcast. | ||
| The first and only full guest that I've ever done on Skype. | ||
| The only reason why I did it on Skype is because he wasn't feeling well and he couldn't fly to California. | ||
| So I said, this guy's so important. | ||
| I generally like to have conversations with people when they're in the room. | ||
| I think they go more friendly and they're smoother that way. | ||
| You can work through any bumps easier that way. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You feel better. | ||
| It feels like it's real. | ||
| I mean, but he was so important to me, I would have fucking taken a raven note. | ||
| You know, I mean, he just... | ||
| If you've never seen the DVD series Magical Egypt, it's truly an amazing piece of work. | ||
| It's, I think, six DVDs all about the history of Egypt and the immense complexity of the structures that are built there. | ||
| The appreciation this guy had for what the Egyptians did was just off the charts. | ||
| He was just... | ||
| It's so deeply engaged with it. | ||
| It was such a giant part of his life and The passion and the curiosity that he had in the knowledge that he had in these DVDs Would come through and you would just be like holding your face watching him going. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| These are amazing just up what a crazy time in human history this weird blip in the middle of North Africa, where these people just went way past everybody else! | ||
|
unidentified
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Just way past! | |
| And they did it for a long time, man. | ||
| They did it in this one spot for who knows how long. | ||
| It was thousands and thousands of years. | ||
| Graham Hancock and John Anthony West are the people that are really at the front of the line in terms of the public eye of pushing the timeline back. | ||
| And there's real evidence for it. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| I mean, Hancock's getting super vindicated right now. | ||
| He is, and, you know, John Anthony West got vindicated as well by Robert Schock, who's a geologist from Boston University. | ||
| He went to Egypt and he studied the enclosure that the Sphinx was in, and he's the guy that determined that you were looking at fissures that were created by thousands of years of rainfall, which would push back, because what we know about what the climate was like in that area, apparently it pushes it back to somewhere around 9,000 years ago, which is crazy. | ||
| Because, look, however old it was, Sure. | ||
| everybody gets real weird about pushing the date back like when it happened. | ||
| There's no way it happened 30,000 years ago. | ||
| It definitely happened 2,500 BC. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But even if it did, let's just say it all was, it just came out of nowhere somewhere around that era. | ||
|
unidentified
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What a crazy spot, man. | |
| Forget about the confusion and the conflict around the timeline. | ||
| Just what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
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Those people were on another level. | |
| What is the main reason people get so pissed off at Hancock and West for trying to push the timeline back? | ||
| Because they've been teaching one timeline for a long time. | ||
| They don't want to admit that they were wrong. | ||
| If somebody publishes a book about the timeline and just definitively says, we know now that Egypt was a hunter-gatherer culture that somewhere around 3000 BC erupted into this incredible civilization. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They've just been teaching that for so long. | ||
| I mean, they've been teaching not that version of it, but their version is more accurate than what I just said. | ||
| I was just making up numbers. | ||
| But the point is, what they've been teaching is probably not right. | ||
| And if they wrote books about it, they've taught classes about it, all these people... | ||
| So it's ego? | ||
| It's just the ego of scientists? | ||
| There is 100% some ego involved. | ||
| Because there was a conversation that John Anthony West and Dr. Robert Shock had with an Egyptologist. | ||
| And the Egyptologist, this was on a television show that was actually on TV. It was on like NBC. It was called The Mystery of the Sphinx. | ||
| It was actually narrated by Charlton Heston. | ||
| And it was all about John Anthony West's work and about Graham Hancock's work and Robert Shock's work. | ||
| And when they brought this geological evidence to these Egyptologists, they were openly mocking it, like laughing in this weird way. | ||
| What evidence is there for this civilization back then? | ||
| How much evidence do you think would be there? | ||
| You have to realize how long ago he's talking about. | ||
| He's talking about maybe 10,500 BC. Right. | ||
| Maybe earlier. | ||
| They think it might have all started somewhere around 30,000 years ago, which is just fucking bananas. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Mystery of the Sphinx. | ||
|
unidentified
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Powerful. | |
| Jamie finds it online. | ||
|
unidentified
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There they are. | |
| John Anthony West. | ||
| He literally dedicated his life to absorbing as much information as possible about the nature of the construction, the time periods, the hieroglyphs. | ||
| I mean, it's just an amazing, amazing body of work that that guy put together. | ||
| Powerful Charlton Heston. | ||
|
unidentified
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Look at him. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| He's fucking handsome. | ||
| I would hang out with him. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Even if he was wacky. | ||
| He wanted to talk about guns all day. | ||
| I'd be like, come on, Charlton. | ||
| Hell yeah, you'd hang out with Charlton Heston. | ||
| Who's going to turn down Charlton Heston? | ||
| Do you remember when Charlton Heston had a gun on TV and he was like, they'll take my rifle away when they pry my cold, dead hands off of it? | ||
| Did he hold up a rifle when he said that? | ||
| Or am I imagining this? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think he probably did. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Why not hold up your fucking massive cymbal for your cock? | ||
| Your Harry Potter? | ||
|
unidentified
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He said it! | |
| It's real! | ||
| It's just as I imagined! | ||
| You will never take my cock from me! | ||
| It's even better because it's a musket. | ||
| Why not just hold up a rock? | ||
| Just like a rock! | ||
|
unidentified
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I kill! | |
| Grok kills with rock! | ||
|
unidentified
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Huh? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| People get fucking really passionate about that. | ||
| That is guns, circumcision. | ||
| I am all for responsible people being able to own guns, but I'm also completely in agreement with people that say that there's too many people out there committing crimes with guns. | ||
| So how do you clean all that up? | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| Well, it's worth thinking about. | ||
| It is worth thinking about. | ||
| And it's worth talking about. | ||
| And people get upset when you start talking about it because they want it to be just, no, we have a right to have any kind of gun that we want. | ||
| But I think they're missing one of the real big problems, which we're just weirdly seeing the very beginning of it, dude. | ||
| And this ties in. | ||
| You know how, like, Elon Musk just blasted a fucking car into space? | ||
| He blasted a Tesla into space. | ||
| There's a Tesla floating around the planet now. | ||
| And, like, the way that connects with guns is, um, this is an example of technology falling into the hands of, like, a private company. | ||
| This isn't the government. | ||
| This is, like, Elon fucking badass. | ||
| I go to Burning Man, Musk. | ||
| A dude who goes to Burning Man shot a fucking Tesla into space, which is now, I guess, going to rotate around the planet for some certain... | ||
| I don't know how long it's going to be up there. | ||
| Well, I think it's going to Mars. | ||
| Oh, that fucking thing's going to... | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| It's putting an orbit around Mars. | ||
| It missed. | ||
| It's going past Mars. | ||
| Oh, you fucked up, Elon. | ||
| Well, guess what, man? | ||
| That could have been my mom! | ||
| My mom could build on that plane! | ||
| You fucking asshole! | ||
| You fucked up, Elon! | ||
| You could have done better, dum-dum, with your rockets that can land and shooting a car in his face. | ||
| That is what happens when you take it out of the government's hands and put it in a genius's hands. | ||
| But he's got a very unique ability to get things done. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like that boring project that he's doing under L.A.? Flamethrowers? | ||
| There's certain guys... | ||
| That are so smart that everybody goes, okay. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Everybody just steps back and goes, what do you want to do? | ||
| You want to dig holes through the bottom? | ||
| What if you went to the LA City Council meeting and it's like, look, guys, I can fix this traffic thing. | ||
| What I'm going to do is I'm going to drill holes underneath the ground and I'm going to put your car on a high-speed sled and you don't even drive. | ||
| It starts up like this. | ||
| It's like, okay, guys. | ||
| So you've been, remember the old, like how you used to be at the banks? | ||
| With the suction tubes where you take the tube and your mom puts the check in and it gets sucked in. | ||
| I'm going to do that with fucking buses under the city. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Write the check! | ||
| They're not going to let you do it. | ||
| But the thing where it connects to guns is it's like We're looking at the very, very, very beginning of private individuals having access to technology that normally was in the hands of the state or governments, and this is the very crazy beginning of it. | ||
| I didn't know he was shooting it at Mars. | ||
| For some reason, I thought that fucking thing was going to rotate around the Earth, which made me worry that we're going to end up with a ring of billionaire cars. | ||
|
unidentified
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Because it would be like the coolest thing for billionaires to do. | |
| Did you shoot your car up in space yet? | ||
|
unidentified
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Nope. | |
| Also, a great way to dispose of bodies because like there's that astronaut in there and I keep thinking like, I bet that's one of Elon Musk's enemies. | ||
| I bet he, that could be a body in there and no one would ever fucking... | ||
| Could you imagine if it is? | ||
| Imagine if it's just some asshole who robbed Elon Musk in a business deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So shot the guy and have one of his flunkies stuff him into a car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just disappeared. | ||
| He just disappeared. | ||
| That could be fucking anybody, man. | ||
| Ground control to Major Tom. | ||
| And then also what's really badass about this is the flat earthers are now really having problems because of the... | ||
| Somebody sent me a video today showing me that it's fake. | ||
| Somebody on Twitter showing me that this is fake. | ||
| It's fake, bro. | ||
| It's fake, bro. | ||
| What's fake? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| The moon, the sky, the guy, the car, your mom. | ||
| It's all fake. | ||
|
unidentified
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Your mom is flat. | |
| Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake. | ||
| Your mom's flat as fuck, man. | ||
| Your mom's flatter than the planet Earth, bro. | ||
| And the Earth's flat. | ||
| But isn't this like the... | ||
| What's crazy about the John Anthony West stuff and the Graham Hancock stuff is like, in the way that flat Earth in a delusional, insane way... | ||
| Sort of forces you to imagine yourself existing in a universe that's completely different than what you thought. | ||
| And I think that's why it's really appealing. | ||
| Like, it's an appealing, cool, beautiful, hilarious mythology. | ||
| It's just like, whoa, how cool would that be if we really were on a flat earth? | ||
| And like, if I just keep going in one direction... | ||
| Hit the ice wall. | ||
| Hit the ice wall, but over the fucking ice wall, now we're in the land of the greys, you know? | ||
| I'm no longer trapped. | ||
| I'm not, it's like, it's a freeing feeling because like, even though it's not like I travel enough to feel stuck in fucking California, which is an insane thing, there's a little piece of us that knows we're never going to go into space. | ||
| We're never going to get past, we're never going to, how do you get off the map? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's something in a human that wants to get off the fucking map, where you end up in a place that hasn't been charted yet. | ||
| And that's an experience that's gone, basically. | ||
| I mean, I imagine swaths of the Amazon, perhaps, or someplace deep, deep in the Arctic, maybe in a cave or something. | ||
| But it used to be people just didn't fucking know. | ||
| You could go off the map, and you had no idea. | ||
| And I think that must have been the biggest rush, to be on a ship, And looking at the maps that you guys have, and you're like, fuck, dude. | ||
| This is... | ||
| We don't know where we're at here, man. | ||
| Like, this is unknown, uncharted terrain. | ||
| So Flat Earth is a really... | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| I don't believe the Earth is flat. | ||
| I think it's more like a triangle shape. | ||
| I think it's a big dick. | ||
| It's a giant... | ||
| It's a cosmic dick. | ||
| We're looking at the head of the dick. | ||
| And they just don't want us to know that because it's kind of embarrassing. | ||
| Fucking Earth looks like a big spinning dick. | ||
| It's all CGI, bro. | ||
| Shaped like a dick. | ||
| It's just a big blue and white fucking dick. | ||
| Green. | ||
| Yeah, why do people want that? | ||
| We always want things to be weird, right? | ||
| We want... | ||
| Like, the Flat Earth one is my favorite one, because... | ||
| Could you imagine if they were right? | ||
| Imagine if the whole planet thought the world was round. | ||
| And there's all this information that shows the world is round. | ||
| Thousands of years ago, people were doing calculations or sticking sticks into the ground at equal distance and measuring them and trying to see if there's curvature. | ||
| There's always been people that suspected the Earth was round way before they could ever figure it out. | ||
|
unidentified
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They were trying to say, well, the moon is round, the sun is round, this is round, huh, probably this is round. | |
| You know, she would kind of think, well, how big is this fucking thing? | ||
| And then if you get up high enough, you can kind of see, like, wow, if it's just really big, I see, like, a very slight curvature. | ||
| Like, maybe I do. | ||
| Am I mind fucking myself? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you just sat around and mindfucked yourself into thinking that it was all a scam. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that the world is actually flat. | ||
| And then gravity isn't real either. | ||
| Everybody's wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Except a guy on YouTube. | ||
| It's exciting. | ||
| It's magnets that pull people into the earth. | ||
| Dude, your life gets so exciting at that point. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| Because now you feel danger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You're risking your fucking ass by getting out there because the nassholes are going to take you out. | ||
| The Clinton Foundation finds out about your theories about the earth being flat. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| They'll come get you. | ||
| They're going to get you. | ||
| So now you get to live in maybe a not very happy world, but an exciting world because you're seeing vans, you're seeing fucking... | ||
| By the way, this is not to say... | ||
| That there isn't some massive, huge, unknown swath of reality that's sitting right in front of us at all times that's actively being hidden by the United States government and the military who has the technology that they finally detected the thing and they don't want us to know because they know if we know, who the fuck knows what the reason is? | ||
| But they don't want us to know just yet. | ||
| I'm not saying that's not the case. | ||
| I'm just saying with Flat Earth in particular... | ||
| You're freaking me the fuck out, man. | ||
| What do you know? | ||
| What do I know? | ||
| What do you know? | ||
| Man, the fucking problem is I can't talk about it yet. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Stop getting the check they're like you can't like we will tell you but you can't you can't completely reveal this seems like one of the videos that would play before you like were first loading up Half-Life 10 This is a new new Half-Life the government's hiding a dimension. | ||
| Well, I mean it did just come out what that they picked up some kind of UFO like the government did release UFO video. | ||
| I always assume, and this is Captain Skeptical over here, I always assume if the government is ever saying that there's UFOs or something really crazy like that, it's to hide some shit they're doing in like Guatemala. | ||
| It's like they don't want anybody to be paying attention to something weird they're doing. | ||
| So they'll just start talking about UFOs. | ||
| Everybody's like, for real? | ||
| Like a real spaceship? | ||
| You got a video, man? | ||
| I mean, it's a really huge question mark. | ||
| And there are people out there who say they have answers to why. | ||
| This idea is there's a gradual dissemination of information that's happening because they're priming the pump. | ||
| And then it splits into two versions. | ||
| One of the versions of the stories is Fuck! | ||
| If you want to dominate a planet, get them kind of like subconsciously, subliminally primed for the idea that, you know, I think there's some really advanced technology out there and there's aliens riding around in it and we've made contact. | ||
| We've made contact with, they call themselves the Galactic Council of Celestial Elders, and they've been making contact with us for the last 50 years, and they've been instructing us in how to not only reveal themselves to you, but to To let the technology come out in a way that's not going to be completely catastrophic for our society. | ||
| They're peace-loving, wonderful beings, but we've decided to follow their instructions to the T, and so now they're ready to introduce themselves. | ||
| And then suddenly an alien is on TV. Suddenly, the government is using a completely made-up thing to try to dominate the planet by saying, no, it's aliens. | ||
| We found them. | ||
| When, in fact, it's Project Blue Beam, right? | ||
| That's one of the ideas. | ||
| The other idea is, all that shit's true. | ||
| There's a thing that happens when a planet reaches a certain level of technological sophistication that it gets contacted by some kind of Order, council, federation of sentient technological Civilizations and they sort of begin to like walk the planet through phases of getting that shit out into the world in a way that isn't going to fuck up their planet and they know how to do it. | ||
| They have a system in place. | ||
| They don't come from the stars. | ||
| They're not something detectable by telescopes. | ||
| They're like in the DMT realm or they're like existing in some alternate dimension and technology is just one of the things that they use to communicate with us. | ||
| I've been toying around with this idea for a long time, most of the time when I'm really high, that ideas are a life form. | ||
| It's not as simple as your creativity putting together some pieces that weren't there before. | ||
| I think it's that, but I think it's also you're tuning into something. | ||
| You're tuning into some weird, like some of the ideas almost seem to write themselves, and it could be because of the subconscious process of your mind, but it also could be because that these, what ideas are, and what just the concept of thinking is, it's essentially the seeds of creation, right? | ||
| Everything that's ever existed on earth that humans have invented and built came from a mind. | ||
| It came from thinking. | ||
| How do I put together this house? | ||
| How do I put together this skyscraper? | ||
| How do I make a plane? | ||
| How do I make a TV? How do I make a this? | ||
| How do I make a that? | ||
| Like we're vessels for ideas. | ||
| We're like sitting there with all these neurons firing and electricity going left and right and all these areas of our brains lighting up. | ||
| It's catching ideas. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| And when I'm super gone, especially on edibles, sometimes I feel like I'm in a river of ideas and I'm naked and I can't hold the fish. | ||
| They're just flying by me. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus, just trying to get these ideas. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It almost feels like these are not my ideas. | ||
| These are ideas that I'm working hard. | ||
| I've put in the effort to go out and fish for these ideas. | ||
| Well, it's kind of like, imagine if there was a technology that could, like we send out these signals into space, satellites with fucking records in them, but perhaps other civilizations are blasting the planet with ideas, That are designed to be picked up by the scope of the human mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so what you're doing is you're actually, like, popping into an alien frequency, which is filled with all these various ideas that are part of the cultivation of a planet to, like, try to get it to the point of, like, being able to make contact. | ||
| And they're just seeding us with... | ||
| I mean, fuck! | ||
| When you read, like, John Lilly and... | ||
| Read about Tesla and read about a lot of the great inventions that have happened. | ||
| The people who had the epiphanous moment, it wasn't like they were scrunching their fucking forehead. | ||
| It was like the idea came to them in a vision. | ||
| How many times do you hear over and over again, it came to me in a vision, a dream? | ||
| Do you know that the very notion of science itself came to, supposedly, like the birth of science, came from a dream that Descartes had? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he had a dream that... | ||
| I forget exactly the term that he... | ||
| the way they used it. | ||
| I'm sure it was deciphered too, right? | ||
| Like, what did he originally speak? | ||
| What language? | ||
| Descartes? | ||
| Descartes speak. | ||
| Fuck, I don't know, man. | ||
| Like, I think it was, like, classic nerd. | ||
| He was... | ||
| He was out, like, at war. | ||
| He was, like, campaigning. | ||
| He was French. | ||
| He's French. | ||
| He was... | ||
| I believe it was like he was on a military campaign in the army or something along those lines. | ||
| And he signed up for adventure to go off into the military. | ||
| And during that time period he had a dream that something about to be able to harness nature, it would be done in weights and measurements. | ||
| I forget exactly the term. | ||
| See if you can find the term That was essentially what people say, this is really, when you talk about the very birth of, like, the earliest you could trace back the idea of modern science, like the ethics and the ideas, the concepts of modern science, came from a dream. | ||
| It goes, I mean, before Descartes, we're dealing with, like, it gets really interesting, because you're dealing with the alchemists, like John Dee, who were... | ||
| I mean, John Dee was someone who was... | ||
| Who's John Dee? | ||
| John Dee is this, like, you know Jason Louv, you know who that is? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's an author. | ||
| He just wrote this fucking badass book on John Dee. | ||
| He's this, one of those people, kind of like Crowley, who had this huge impact on society, but we don't really know a lot. | ||
| Most people don't know who the fuck he was. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you've heard of, like... | ||
| uh the enochian tablets or like the enochian angels basically john d was like an alchemist who was working with queen elizabeth to try to turn lead into gold which was a you know a big pursuit back then which is like if we could turn if we can transmute metals into gold it's like i mean yeah they all tried to do that right was that when they first started recognizing elements like when did they first start recognizing elements Probably that. | ||
| It must be through alchemy, because they're trying to break things down to their fundamental components. | ||
| How many movies are about that? | ||
| Someone trying to make gold? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's one of the great pursuits. | ||
| And it's actually, it's what we're still doing. | ||
| Only we're not trying to turn lead into gold, we're trying to turn lead into a thinking machine. | ||
| That's what we're doing now. | ||
| Because better than turning matter into gold, if you can turn matter into a fucking thing that is thinking and sentient, then it can figure out how to turn lead into gold by its advanced ability to process data. | ||
| And if you were an alien race, you would be concerned about nuclear weapons for sure, but you would really be concerned about artificial life. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| What are you assholes about to hit the switch on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Have you thought this through? | ||
| We're like those minions in Despicable Me where we're just wrecking shit and eating nails. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're just trying things, sticking electrical sockets in our heads. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Can you imagine if beings in the DMT realm decided to start setting off nuclear explosions? | ||
| I mean, maybe that's what an earthquake is. | ||
| Maybe when we have an earthquake, it's like a nuclear test in another dimension shaking our planet. | ||
| Yeah, I said it. | ||
| No, I don't fucking believe it. | ||
| I can already hear the people being like, what the fuck? | ||
| What are you talking about, man? | ||
| June 8th, 1637, Descartes codifies scientific method. | ||
| Wow, interesting. | ||
| He outlines his rules for understanding the natural world through reason and skepticism, forming the foundation of the scientific method still in use today. | ||
| There's a term that he had that he came up with like in a dream. | ||
| See if you can find that because there was like a phrase that he said, obviously translated from French. | ||
| The reason Descartes fucking bugs me... | ||
| No, it's not I think therefore I am. | ||
| But that was obviously an interesting one. | ||
| He liked to do shit like, and I could be wrong about this, but I clearly remember reading about this. | ||
| He was like, what do you call it? | ||
| A mechanist? | ||
| Or like he believed that animals were just machines, basically. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Jamie, if you could look this up so I don't get assuaged with people being like, that's a different person. | ||
| But apparently, he would do shit like hold a dog's beating heart in his hand while it died. | ||
| And he said things like, people who are afraid to kick dogs aren't really my students. | ||
| Look that up, Jamie. | ||
| Are you sure that's not like propaganda? | ||
| If there was like an Infowars.com back then, you'd be like, what's going on here? | ||
| This is why I'm covering it with like, I'm not sure. | ||
| They're saying he's out there kicking dogs! | ||
| I think he was kicking dogs. | ||
| I think Descartes liked to kick... | ||
| What I just found is pretty rough. | ||
| Maybe they all kicked dogs back then. | ||
| In a nutshell, Frank philosopher Rene Descartes didn't believe animals had souls. | ||
| To test his theory, he nailed his wife's dog to a board and chopped it open while the poor thing was still alive. | ||
| Fun guy. | ||
| Fun guy. | ||
| Creator of science was nailing dogs to fucking boards. | ||
| Where'd you read this? | ||
| How do we know this is real? | ||
| It's on FuckDecart.com. | ||
| Knowledge nuts. | ||
| Knowledge nuts. | ||
| I hope you really are knowledge nuts. | ||
| I'm nuts for knowledge! | ||
| Look at that guy's face, dude. | ||
| That guy definitely looks like he fucking nailed dogs to boards. | ||
| Look at that fucking face. | ||
| Look at it! | ||
| Look at it squirm! | ||
| The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as the greatest virtues. | ||
| That's what he said after he cut open the cat. | ||
| Dude, so that's like, it's the father of science is also like, that's Jeffrey Dahmer level shit, too. | ||
| Like, he was not... | ||
| I think people did a lot of that back then. | ||
| Nailing dogs to boards? | ||
| I just think the value of life was severely diminished. | ||
| I think back then the 1600s people were dying left and right of everything. | ||
| You got a cold? | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Break your leg? | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Get gored by a bull? | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Everything? | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Oh, you got an infection? | ||
| Dead. | ||
| You got the flu? | ||
| Probably dead. | ||
| But that's definitely in Europe. | ||
| Like in India, I'm not saying in India it was like a utopia and everyone was sweet to animals, but in Buddhism it was like there was... | ||
| It was a lot more compassionate. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Why do you think that happened? | ||
| Why does, like, Thailand and places that are Buddhist places generally, I mean, obviously there's violence everywhere, but generally more of a peaceful vibe, right? | ||
| Like Buddhist nations and Buddhist countries, a little bit more, obviously, flaws with everything. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Anything involving people, you're going to have outliers. | ||
| But over and all, like, one of the things that my friend was telling me about Thailand, he was like, dude, there's no crime over there. | ||
| He's like, you just go over there. | ||
| It's like real easy, real easy to get along with everybody. | ||
| It's super safe. | ||
| Nobody gets robbed. | ||
| It's really rare. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand why that way of thinking emerged in the East and that connection with the self emerged in the East versus what happened in the West, which was basically decimation of a previous religion, paganism, whatever you want to call it, earth-based religion, connection with life and nature. | ||
| What's really interesting to me about that is that the DNA of paganism is still in the system. | ||
| It's almost like we absorbed it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or I say we. | ||
| I mean, Christians. | ||
| You know, Christian nation. | ||
| I guess we're a Christian nation. | ||
| I'm sure we've talked about this in the podcast, but it's something I marvel over all the time. | ||
| I think about it a lot, which is the Catholic Mass. | ||
| When you look at the Catholic Mass, And you look at the New Testament, the Last Supper, and you look at, you realize like in the fucking Synoptic Gospels, in any of the Gospels, There's nowhere that Jesus is saying, what you do is take a piece of bread and utter these prayers over it to create my flesh that then you eat. | ||
| It's not there. | ||
| The ritual isn't there. | ||
| But the interpretation of that has turned into what is called high magic. | ||
| It's a ceremonial magic where you're transforming Bread into the flesh of a sacrificed God. | ||
| And people do that every fucking Sunday. | ||
| And they're like, this is totally normal. | ||
| Magic? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I'm not into fucking magic. | ||
| What I do is I eat the flesh of a God. | ||
| That was sacrificed by a Father God so that my sins could be purified. | ||
| That's not magic. | ||
| When did that originate? | ||
| The sacrament? | ||
| Well, I've read that it has something to do with, it goes back to Egypt, that it's some kind of high magic Egyptian ritual. | ||
| Or as a mushroom. | ||
| They probably had a big bag of mushrooms and everybody came up and they put it on your tongue and they said, good luck. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Yeah, this is the flesh. | ||
| See you on the other side. | ||
| Well, I mean, they said, yeah, they said, you know, this is the flesh of God. | ||
| Eat this and you'll remember who you truly are. | ||
| And they gave you the psychedelic and you took it and you merged back into the divine and realized your true identity. | ||
| So that for the rest of the week you were able to hang out with people and not be a complete asshole because you know you share the same soul and that you're basically made of love as opposed to thinking that you and I are separate and that we're mostly sinful evil things whose flesh is impure. | ||
| I mean that's another fucking sweet gift that came from Fundamentalist Christianity is the concept that our bodies are evil. | ||
| We can't be naked around each other even now. | ||
| You can't take your clothes off around people without seeming completely insane. | ||
| If you go outside in your fundamental body that you were born into the universe with, you will get arrested. | ||
| Like, you can't walk around as you are. | ||
| You have to cover it in clothes, or you're considered to be a fucking pervert nudist. | ||
| You're a psycho. | ||
| So yeah, the fundamental vehicle that our soul rides around in is considered profane. | ||
| Dude, and like, you see a fucking dick when you're like walking down the street, some dude decided, you're like, oh! | ||
| Meanwhile, you can see a dick accidentally at the bathroom, and it doesn't bother you. | ||
| It doesn't bother you, because in the bathroom it's okay for a moment to profane the world with your fucking dick. | ||
| So it's like, that's the, when you start really looking at all the traces of not just pagan culture, but just insanity from a fundamentalist perspective of the universe that has its roots in what appears to be a misunderstanding of a really beautiful story, then it's like, mind-boggling. | ||
| Yeah, not just a misunderstanding, but probably a conscious misrepresentation of the original story that's molded to suit whoever's needs is in charge at the moment. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And people, dude, I'll tell you, man, Catholics, they feel guilty. | ||
| Dude, I'm Catholic. | ||
| You still probably feel a little bit of the... | ||
| Probably a little bit. | ||
| I mean, I'm not Catholic, really, but I was when I was in first grade. | ||
| I have this Alistair Crowley poster I was going to bring to you. | ||
| Secrets. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| 1,079. | ||
| That was the year. | ||
| It's a weird-sounding name. | ||
| Year, rather. | ||
| 1,079. | ||
| It feels like I'm saying something wrong. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's amazing, man. | ||
| Yeah, 1,079. | ||
| This is way after Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, almost 1,000 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They started doing the magical ritual. | ||
| And so it's like, to say that this is connected to Christianity is really, it's like, actually, no. | ||
| Christianity is a song, and this is a dance people decided to do to it. | ||
| But to say, you know what I mean? | ||
| To say that it has anything to do with Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is not true. | ||
| Unless you're going to say that Jesus transmitted the data after his death into some kind of mystic or seer who had the vision of this. | ||
| Now, I'm not knocking the fucking Catholic Mass. | ||
| I think it's beautiful, but let's just admit what it is. | ||
| Magic. | ||
| It's ritual magic. | ||
| You're doing ritual magic and you're doing something that's been going on for a very long time, probably before 1079. That dude wasn't just like sitting around and like, hey, I got an idea. | ||
| Let's start saying prayer over the bread and the bread's going to turn into flesh. | ||
| It was more like, hey, you know, we've been meeting, doing these rituals secretly. | ||
| Why don't we just incorporate the story of Christianity into this ritual that we've been doing for a very long time to sort of Purify ourselves by connecting to the universe and acknowledging the fact that existence itself is predicated on devouring the flesh of some other being. | ||
| Not, you know, like we're always in the process of inhaling the universe, exhaling the universe, eating each other. | ||
| The universe is eating itself, and so the Mass is this ritualized version of like, behold, we're eating the flesh of God in everything we do, and there's something really beautiful about that. | ||
| I mean, there's no getting around Life Eats Life. | ||
| Even the various factions of people on the left and the right and people that are animal rights activists versus people that are butchers. | ||
| You're all eating something that's alive. | ||
| I mean, you can make the distinction that the plants aren't suffering like the animals do, and that's why it's okay. | ||
| I agree with you for the most part. | ||
| It's probably a less extreme form of suffering, but it also might just be a completely misunderstood life form. | ||
| They're finding out so much about plant communication, and I've read so many things about that I hesitate to talk about it because I really want to have all my T's sliced and, you know, I's dotted because it's such a complex issue, but it appears that they communicate. | ||
| It appears that there's almost like that they're using the soil and the fungus in the soil and the mycelium. | ||
| They all have this weird ecosystem. | ||
| It's not just like one plant by itself in the dirt. | ||
| No, there's a network that they're connected to. | ||
| Jamie, there's this thing. | ||
| This guy gave me this thing called a midi sprout, which is... | ||
| It picks up, I guess, the bioelectricity of plants, or anything for that matter, but plants, I've got it. | ||
| You stick it on your plant, and it goes into, like, whatever your music system is, and it translates it into MIDI, so you can turn the electricity of your plant into music. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That sound is the sound that's coming from a tree. | ||
| Well, it's the electricity of the tree being translated into MIDI, which is then being translated into sound. | ||
| So it's a way to convert the data into music. | ||
| It's like you're converting the bioelectricity into... | ||
| It's not like that's the sound of a plant. | ||
| It's not making celestial noises. | ||
| That's just sending energy and creating MIDI, which is then being translated into the sound. | ||
| So it's a way to observe the data. | ||
| Instead of looking at it, I guess, on an oscilloscope or whatever you would look at that with, It's turning into audio so you can hear the pulsating kind of like rhythmic flow. | ||
| So that that's measuring electrical currents in the plant? | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| So there's that much of a variation that it's like going up and down all the time like that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't know the total math behind it, but I've got one on a plant in my studio. | ||
| Here's my take on it. | ||
| The most potent psychedelic experience is DMT. DMT exists in so many different plants. | ||
| It's in thousands of plants. | ||
| They have no idea why. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's in them and if it wasn't for monoamys oxidase. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Monoamine oxidase. | ||
| MAO, which is what MAO inhibitors are. | ||
| If it wasn't for that, that we have this in our body, we would be tripping on salad. | ||
| You'd be tripping on grass. | ||
| You'd eat certain grasses. | ||
| You'd be blasted off to the center of the universe. | ||
| You know, for some sheep... | ||
| DMT is poison. | ||
| They get a hold of plants that have DMT, and they fall over, stiff as the legs, and the legs start bucking up in the air. | ||
| That's like your canary in the coal mine. | ||
| You take sheep out into nature, and when they start dying, that's what you eat. | ||
| I think it's phalaris grass in particular. | ||
| I think there's a type of grass. | ||
| Jamie, see if you can find that. | ||
| Grass that kill sheep, but it's a pretty grass a particularly rich. | ||
| Yeah, phalaris. | ||
| Damn, how good is the memory on the kid even though he's high? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Phalaris staggers. | ||
| Yeah, that induced phalaris staggers in sheep portions of the lower brain as seen to be damaged and oddly enough tinted blue. | ||
| The responsible agents are the alkaloids contained in the various failing species. | ||
| There are whispered rumors that can you There are whispered fucking rumors? | ||
| Oh, that's a DMT website, too, there. | ||
| Whispered rumors. | ||
| He's goddamn hippie. | ||
| Whispered rumors. | ||
| Looking for science. | ||
| Not looking for wispy. | ||
| Whispered rumors. | ||
| You fucking hippies. | ||
| The Divine Moment of Truth. | ||
| Is that the one that I'm in? | ||
| There's one of those Spongle made one where they used a rant of me with Jim Brewer. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I was barbecued. | ||
| I barely remember what I said. | ||
| But it was me and Brewer were high on pot lollipops. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| And they took that and took part of it and made it this really dope music and with a video to it. | ||
| I don't know if that's their video, if they made that video, but whoever does, it looks oddly similar. | ||
| Like a toned down, like a pencil drawing of what you see when you do DMT. Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's the sound. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Ah, the good old days, huh, Joe? | ||
| Weren't those the good old days? | ||
| Now we don't do it anymore, though, because it's illegal. | ||
| Yeah, why would we? | ||
| Well, it's illegal. | ||
| There's no need. | ||
| And also, once you've been there, it's not like you have to keep going back. | ||
| Yeah, enough's enough. | ||
| Enough's enough. | ||
| I don't need these fucking aliens. | ||
| You know what I need to do right now? | ||
| Get a better accountant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| These tax breaks are coming, and I'm not even seeing them. | ||
| There's some fucking great accountants in the DMT realm. | ||
| That's when I'll start doing it again. | ||
| They're accountants of your consciousness. | ||
| They look at you and go... | ||
| It's the best, yeah. | ||
| Did you get a finger waggle at you? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it was like when I had a wacky thought, like I had a bad thought, a thought went array, and I was on the wrong page. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Yeah, I love that. | ||
| I love the, in different psychedelic states, I love how you witness how your consciousness is forming your reality in the most extreme way. | ||
| Not as though, like, you're producing matter with your thoughts or anything like that, but you can watch this undulation or this flow going from when you're getting negative and dark. | ||
| And it's interesting how different psychedelics portray this phenomena, but so like on acid, I might see, depending if I'm taking a high enough dose, you start seeing the faces and the stucco of your ceiling, you know? | ||
| And it's like, when you start getting really depressive or scared, then the faces start doing like, whoa! | ||
| Like hissing at you and they sink in and they, or even when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, similar things happens as you're just watching the way that your projection that's coming from the incessant flow of thoughts in your mind is reflecting on the reality itself. | ||
| And it's a constant like shifting of light that sometimes is like looking into the Deepest layers of hell, but then sometimes you see the most beautiful, sweet, incredible things because you're not being freaked out by the flow of thoughts in your mind. | ||
| That's the number one trick, you know? | ||
| This is why now in my old age, I really do understand why a good practice, meditation, chanting, whatever it may be, pairs so nicely with psychedelics. | ||
| Because if you have one without the other, well, you're missing out. | ||
| But also, you can really, like... | ||
| Go into some pretty terrifying places that don't resolve in the way that they could, potentially, if you are doing the work, putting in the time before you take the psychedelic, you know? | ||
| Not to sound like an old fucking guy, like, ah, you gotta get, you know, meditate and then take, but it does help a lot. | ||
| Well, there's a weird way that we want to dismiss it because it seems almost like a pompous thing to ever say you meditate or you encourage people to meditate. | ||
| It's the same as I always have a cringy thing when I tell people to do yoga. | ||
| Like, oh my God, am I going to say this again? | ||
| But I really mean it. | ||
| I feel like yoga is one of the very best things that will pair with cannabis use and with psychedelics. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Because I think it alleviates a lot. | ||
| You know another thing that's really good is running. | ||
| And I think both those things, they alleviate a certain amount of anxiety. | ||
| And they create... | ||
| There's a blood flow through that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like when you're pumping hard up a hill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're running, huffing and puffing, and you make it, and you check your pulse, and you recover quick, and you go and do another hill run. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a stimulation of your body because it's being forced to work hard that's euphoric. | ||
| And after it's over, your brain's flooded with all these wonderful chemicals. | ||
| You feel good. | ||
| You feel friendly. | ||
| And I think that paired with psychedelic experiences, I think exercise is one of the most overlooked. | ||
| So important. | ||
| And it doesn't matter what style, like what you enjoy doing, but just got to get that blood going. | ||
| You got to do something. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Whether it's take a spin class or a yoga class or go for a good hike. | ||
| Do something where you're fucking huffing and puffing and you're really getting in some work. | ||
| You're really sweating and your body will just feel better. | ||
| Well this is, what you just said, exactly applies to meditation. | ||
| And also, you're fucking right. | ||
| The problem with even talking about it is you sound virtue signally and pompous, but when you hear Ram Dass talk about meditation, he will say, meditate when you want to meditate. | ||
| If it seems like something that appeals to you, give it a shot. | ||
| The definition of it itself, what's funny is when you think about meditation, your mind will summon up something that you think meditation looks like. | ||
| So you think, ah, it means like sitting down on a cushion with some fucking candles, or it means like whatever it is that your mind summons up. | ||
| And usually it's pretty austere, and usually it's pretty, it requires like a temple or a space in your house, or it's insane. | ||
| An outfit. | ||
| You need a robe? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| You need some kind of like shit that you're wearing. | ||
| So there's... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because your mind is trying to push it off. | ||
| It's trying to like... | ||
| Your mind is one of its functions, it seems, to like not want you to sit still for a moment and watch. | ||
| But what you just said about exercising is true for meditation. | ||
| It's like there's so many different versions of it. | ||
| And I would argue running is a meditation. | ||
| Working out is a meditation. | ||
| And that to think that there's a separation, there really isn't. | ||
| No, I don't think there is either. | ||
| I always just said that about martial arts, that I believe that martial arts were a moving form of meditation. | ||
| But that doesn't mean, like, stationary meditation isn't different and give you another very valuable thing and a different valuable thing. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah, well, it gives you the ability to... | ||
| I was just reading... | ||
| There's a great book I'm reading by Pima Chodron called The Wisdom of No Escape. | ||
| And she talks about how... | ||
| When people start meditating, they think, I'm doing this because I want to be a better person. | ||
| And she said, that's actually an aggression against the self that you are right now. | ||
| To be like, yeah, that you're actually being aggressive to your own self. | ||
| She said, meditation is not so that we become a better person. | ||
| It's so that we're able to be who we are in the moment fully. | ||
| And to begin to experience fully what it is that's happening inside of us. | ||
| Because for a lot of people, what's going down is that there is a... | ||
| Dude, this reminds me, I just watched the Texas fucking Chainsaw Massacre. | ||
| It's probably like the 16th time I've seen it but like I watched it and like man I had a very strong mint tea and like I was watching it and was like oh my god this is fucking unbearable like I can't deal with it I'm gonna go crazy watching this fucking thing like the woman who by the end is all bug-eyed and covered in blood and like she's lost her mind because these Texas fucking cannibals have like driven her insane I'm feeling like that but then I realized like oh my god That | ||
| woman running from Leatherface and the whole family, freaking out and screaming, how many people are secretly that woman inside of themselves constantly running in terror from parts of themselves that they can't deal with or acknowledge or look at? | ||
| So meditation is kind of like going into yourself To that creepy ranch house in the middle of nowhere in your heart and then exploring the places that you don't want to go into. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| It's feeling them. | ||
| Instead of cleaning or fixing or repairing, it's going in there and feeling the whatever it is. | ||
| For a lot of people, it's just grief. | ||
| pain sorrow regret regret you know and it's going in there not being like i'm gonna fix what i fucked up seven years ago because this is not time travel but what i'm gonna do is for 10 minutes five minutes i'm gonna let myself feel this thing that i've been trying not to feel by distracting myself with an incessant flow of thoughts right and that that That is when you start lightening up a little bit because really all | ||
| you got to do is feel. | ||
| I think the MAPS people say, feeling is healing. | ||
| Have you ever heard that? | ||
| No, but I think I have, but it was like a kid's show. | ||
| That's a great kid's show. | ||
| Kids shows say some good shit sometimes. | ||
| Fuck yeah, they do, man! | ||
| Some of them are on the ball. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know, there's some kids' movies that are oddly psychedelic. | ||
| Dude, kids are psychedelic. | ||
| To appeal to a child, it's like you do have to create some crazy shit. | ||
| What kids show isn't... | ||
| Find me a kids show that isn't The most psychedelic thing, including Mr. Rogers. | ||
| Like, Mr. Rogers is like, that's some trippy shit going down there, man. | ||
| Trippy. | ||
| It's funny that you bring up Mr. Rogers, because here's one of the things that I was going to say when we were talking about gun control and violence and all the different issues in this world. | ||
| One thing that we don't concentrate on Is promoting being nicer. | ||
| No government official does that. | ||
| Presidents don't do that. | ||
| They don't get on TV. They sort of say it. | ||
| We need to work together. | ||
| But they don't ever say, folks, we just got to figure out how to be nice to each other. | ||
| We're not in conflict anymore, but we're designed for conflict. | ||
| And here's how you get rid of that. | ||
| Get a fucking heavy bag, go run hills, go to yoga class, eat better, stop drinking so much coffee or alcohol or sugar, whatever your vice is that's fucking with your body. | ||
| Get your body in order and get your mind in order and just be nicer to each other. | ||
| That would fix... | ||
| Almost everything. | ||
| If people just overall decided, you know what, male, female, whatever the fuck, whoever you're talking to, let's just be nicer to each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's just everybody do this. | ||
| Can we all just work on this? | ||
| No one's saying work on this. | ||
| Like, there's no government officials, there's no big State of the Union address and go, ladies and gentlemen, our problems that we have with each other are ridiculous. | ||
| We're family here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're brothers and sisters. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And we're all immigrants. | ||
| Every single one of us is an immigrant. | ||
| I'm not saying we should let everybody in, but whoever's here, you made it, bitch. | ||
| You made it. | ||
| As long as you're not a goddamn criminal, you made it. | ||
| Get taxes from them. | ||
| Also, don't forget we're all immigrants coming from infinity, too. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We're all immigrants who've come into this dimension and have complete amnesia as to what was going on for the last 13 points. | ||
| Pop out of a vagina. | ||
| Point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All of a sudden you're American. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's it. | ||
| So we're all immigrants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have to tell you this. | |
| Did you hear about this Canadian couple? | ||
| There's a gay couple that had twins, and they did it through a surrogate, and they mixed up their jizz so that no one knew whose jizz was whose. | ||
| Well, one guy's an American citizen, and one guy's not. | ||
| So the kids were born, and they did a DNA test on the kids because they wanted to find out whether or not one of those kids was a dirty Canadian. | ||
| Turns out one of them is! | ||
| Trying to sneak over our borders at one day old. | ||
| Fuck off! | ||
| So they sent that little fucking terrorist back to Canada. | ||
| Gay couple married in Canada, sues U.S. government for denying citizen to the child. | ||
| Hey, assholes, let these fucking people come back. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| But you gotta understand, man, like... | ||
| People like Jeff Sessions see a picture like that, and they feel like they're looking at somebody taking a dump on a crucifix. | ||
| Like, for a lot of these people, they can't handle the idea of gay people having kids. | ||
| It's not like they're worried about citizenship. | ||
| It's like a lot of these gnarled fucks who are running things, they're terrified of gay people. | ||
| You know, I'm sure that whoever made that decision, it wasn't anything to do with, like, oh, this is citizenship laws. | ||
| It was like, hey, man, we're not going to have this futuristic shit where we're doing some kind of jizz combos here. | ||
| We're not doing jizz combos in my country. | ||
| I think they just used, like, one of those little... | ||
| Paintbrush. | ||
| Those things you stir with, you know? | ||
| Like, if you want to make a butter coffee, hit a little blender... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You mean a whisk? | |
| An electric whisk? | ||
| Like you use for batter? | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| They jizz into like a mixing jug. | ||
| No, they use a fucking... | ||
| They use like smoothie machines, man. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Positive. | ||
| A buddy of mine was telling me today about... | ||
| He was in Berlin, and when he went to this, there's this club, and they had three different floors of this club. | ||
| Like, one floor was like a hardcore, like, punk scene or, you know, electronic scene or something like that. | ||
| And then below it was a hardcore gay club. | ||
| In this hardcore gay club, they would have shit night where they would shit into tubware and seal it up and bring it in there. | ||
| They would jizz all over the stage and they would dive on the jizz like a slip and slide and slide around on each other's jizz. | ||
| They'd piss on each other. | ||
| And this is just... | ||
| Wait, I get the jizz and the piss, but help me understand the Tupperware shit thing. | ||
| The problem is I opened up with the Tupperware shit. | ||
| I went too hard off the gate. | ||
| I should have started with jizz on the deck. | ||
| And then they slip and slide. | ||
| Then work their way up to piss on each other. | ||
| And then these crazy motherfuckers started bringing in shit. | ||
| That's what I should have done. | ||
| But what I don't understand is like the slip and slide, it's like, yeah, you know, it's like a fucking fun night. | ||
| You're like enjoying some physical fun with your pals. | ||
| But why are you bringing in shit and Tupperware? | ||
| They like smelling shit. | ||
| They like smelling each other's shit. | ||
| So you're just like, hey, take a whiff of this great shit I had the other day. | ||
| Well, do you know how some guys like the smell of their woman's vagina? | ||
| They want to get in there and smell it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I wonder how much that's connected because that's where you put your dick. | ||
| I wonder if you put your dick in butts all the time, you'd be like, I want to smell your shit. | ||
| Oh, like it's associated with like, it reminds you of fucking or something. | ||
| Mike, this is what I want you to do. | ||
| I want you to shit in that Tupperware and bring it over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| I want you to shit in that thing and bring it over and don't wipe your ass. | ||
| Tupperware? | ||
| Like, why not foil? | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| I mean, you'd have to be really fucked up to want to smell someone's shit that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Smell each other's shit. | ||
| Maybe it's just like a naughty thing. | ||
| Like, we're being naughty. | ||
| Smell my shit. | ||
| Yeah, or I'm transporting shit. | ||
| Like, you're like, I'm bringing shit somewhere. | ||
| Like, I'm bringing a lunch to this place. | ||
| By the way, I've heard of this club, man. | ||
| My friend was telling me about this club. | ||
| I don't know if it's the same club. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I've been hearing all this shit about how badass Berlin is, man. | ||
| That it's just, like, crazy over there. | ||
| And that this one club my friend was telling me she went to, everyone stands in line. | ||
| There's no VIPs. | ||
| Everyone stands in line. | ||
| Like part of the experience of the thing is you stand in line for like a long time and there's one bouncer. | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| He's like this giant scary German guy. | ||
| I think he's got like a glass eye or something. | ||
| And he scans you. | ||
| So you stand in front of him, and he looks at you and like does some kind of soul scan, and if he decides you're ready to experience the psychic effects of witnessing dudes sliding through cum, Because it's not as though he's trying to keep it cool in there, but he's also trying to keep people from losing their minds. | ||
| Because the one wrong person goes into the sub-basement and sees a bunch of people huffing Tupperware shit and sliding through jizz. | ||
| That could push you over the line. | ||
| That could lead you straight to fucking mail bomb land. | ||
| You could just end up in a cabin Building devices of destruction. | ||
| That's probably what happened to Kaczynski. | ||
| If you took any of the people from the Trumpy Bear commercial and put them in that gay club while those guys are smelling each other's shit and Tupperwares and jizzing on the floor and pissing on each other, if they just wandered into there accidentally... | ||
| They'd all start fucking. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Have you seen that video? | ||
| The Trumpy Bear video? | ||
| I put it on my Instagram last night. | ||
| I was watching TV and this fucking thing came on and it's like a Tim and Eric sketch. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's a real commercial for a real stuffed animal. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| The Trumpy Bear. | ||
| No, no, you gotta see the video though. | ||
| Can you play the video? | ||
| Oh, just go to my Instagram. | ||
| Wow, that's cool. | ||
| I put the video up on my Instagram. | ||
| Oh, that's it in the upper corner. | ||
| Make that larger. | ||
| And give me some volume. | ||
| It's just two payments. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Great American Grizzly. | |
| Introducing the original Trumpy Bear. | ||
| This is real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fearless, super plush American Grizzly. | |
| Now tell me this doesn't seem like a Tim and Eric sketch. | ||
| Watch how this goes on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flag day. | |
| Just find the secret zipper and pull out the American flying free blanket. | ||
| Then wrap yourself in the red lighted moon for comfort and warmth. | ||
| I'm getting one of these. | ||
| It gets crazier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch. | |
| God bless America and God bless Trumpy Bear. | ||
| Trumpy Bear sits proudly at the front of the motorcycle for all the world to see and loves to cruise with his brother. | ||
| I'm a former Marine, and I'm proud to have Trumpy Bear ride by my side. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Once a Marine, always a Marine. | |
| This is a goddamn Tim and Eric sketch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| When I ride with Trumpy Bear, he makes my golf game great again. | ||
| Thank you, Trumpy Bear. | ||
| Trumpy Bear can pop up anywhere. | ||
| Simply style his trademark hair and place him in his favorite chair. | ||
| Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear. | ||
| Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Business is great. | |
| When business is great... | ||
| I am great. | ||
| I love you, Trumpy Bear. | ||
| I am an army veteran. | ||
| I am proud to own the Trumpy Bear, and I will always be proud to be an American. | ||
| Wait, hold on. | ||
| That guy, hold on, hold on. | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| Did you see that guy's name is Waraholic? | ||
| Back up. | ||
| That's Frank Waraholic, like an alcoholic for war? | ||
| Go back. | ||
| Corporal Frank Warholic? | ||
| That's a gag. | ||
| This thing's a gag, dude. | ||
| But it's on the radio. | ||
| Or it's on TV, rather. | ||
| It's kind of a gag. | ||
| I looked it up last night. | ||
| It is for sale. | ||
| It is a real product. | ||
| It's a real product. | ||
| So this is a gag. | ||
| It's a comedy sketch. | ||
| I kind of knew. | ||
| It had to be. | ||
| There's no way it could be that bad. | ||
| Oh my god, you know what it is? | ||
| They've made a comedy sketch that's comedy for people like... | ||
| Anybody who's paying attention, but for people so dumb that they don't realize it's a comedy sketch, and they think the way the people in the video think, it's like a honeypot for dum-dums. | ||
| Yeah, it's brilliant, because on one level it's like a really funny sketch, on the other level it's just like, people are like, God damn, I've always wanted a Trumpy bear. | ||
| So they make this bear, they sell this bear, they pretend that they're all patriotic, and they just made the dumb... | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| What's wrong with me? | ||
| I am the storm. | ||
| Of course it's fake. | ||
| It's pretty subtle. | ||
| But this is the world we're living in right now. | ||
| I believed it was real. | ||
| Because it is a real product. | ||
| But when the lady pulled out her flag, I got a little suspicious. | ||
| And then the other guy says, once a Marine, always a Marine. | ||
| I'm like, this is a Tim and Eric sketch. | ||
| It's pretty subtle, man. | ||
| Like, it definitely, I've seen commercials that shitty for sure. | ||
| Trumpy bear official. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Once a Marine, always a Marine. | ||
| Look at my boot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's dirty because I work. | |
| Hey, what do you think? | ||
| We make really shitty predictions whenever I come on your show about what's going to happen usually, but what do you think is going to happen with Mueller and Trump? | ||
| I have zero idea. | ||
| I'm fascinated by the whole process. | ||
| I'm fascinated by his disdain for the intelligence community. | ||
| The intelligence community. | ||
| That, to me, seems to be one of the craziest things a president's ever done, is literally have beef with the FBI to the point where the FBI foils a terrorist attack in San Francisco, and the president doesn't even mention it on TV, doesn't praise them, doesn't make a big deal about how good our government is, that we've been able to stop these terrorists, and this is one of the reasons why I wanted to build this wall in the first place and tighten up illegal immigration. | ||
| This is an opportunity to prove his point. | ||
| And he doesn't talk about it. | ||
| Because he's got a beef. | ||
| He's got beef with the FBI. Dude, do you remember when that FBI agent came to your show? | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| When that happened? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was one of the weirdest... | ||
| That was, like, really weird for me, man. | ||
| Why was it weird? | ||
| Because the dude, like, the way he did it was perfect. | ||
| Because he got... | ||
| Like, it made my heart leap. | ||
| Because he's like... | ||
| He had his hand on my arm in, like, a cop style. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then he, like, lifted his shirt up to show his FBI badge. | ||
| And I'm like, well, I don't know exactly what it was, but I mean, I could probably imagine a few things you might be arresting me for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But then he was like, really cool! | |
| And he's like, listens to your podcast, and he's like, you know, he was just being really awesome. | ||
| Listen, man, you need those people. | ||
| And everybody doesn't think they need those people. | ||
| You have an unrealistic view of the world. | ||
| You need Sheepdog. | ||
| You need them. | ||
| You need people to watch the criminals. | ||
| You need people to be able to solve crimes. | ||
| You need people to be able to stop terrorist attacks like they did in San Francisco. | ||
| You need them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everybody thinks that they don't need them. | ||
| Look, I wish we didn't need them. | ||
| I wish we had a perfect relationship with all the other nations and everybody just decided to work together for the survival of the species as a whole. | ||
| And we weren't so concentrating on owning resources, taking over governments, and controlling parts of the world that have, you know, things that we're trying to steal or get or buy. | ||
| But it is. | ||
| So as long as it is, you're going to need the FBI, you're going to need intelligence community, you're going to need the Army, you're going to need the Navy, you're going to need the Marines, you're going to need the Air Force. | ||
| But don't the FBI, they police the police. | ||
| Like the FBI or the police is police. | ||
| And there's a checks and balance system that's been proven to... | ||
| Now, I don't agree with this. | ||
| Because I think this is a crazy reason to fire a guy, especially a guy who's a war hero. | ||
| But General Petraeus, his whole thing, he got busted because the FBI was looking into something. | ||
| The FBI was looking into something and got the head of the CIA in trouble. | ||
| So they go after each other. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So there's kind of a competitive thing, apparently. | ||
| Fucking weird. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes they don't get along. | ||
| Sometimes the CIA and the FBI, they don't see eye to eye on certain things. | ||
| But this one was a weird one because it was about an affair. | ||
| It's like, of all the shit that he did bad, like, he had an affair? | ||
| Like, this guy's out there smashing worlds. | ||
| What is the mother of all bombs? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| He didn't launch that one. | ||
| That was after his time. | ||
| But they launched all kinds of crazy bombs over there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, they're just shooting drones and missiles. | ||
| That's all good. | ||
| I heard you put your penis inside the wrong person. | ||
| Dude, did she let you? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, we're going to investigate where your penis has been, you dirty, dirty boy. | |
| In between killing strangers, you're out there putting your penis in the wrong person. | ||
| We can take all the accidental drone deaths you got for us, but what we can't take is you shooting your dirty, dirty semen inside another woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You will only express love for one woman in this world. | |
| That's it. | ||
| You can only feel love for one person at a time, and you're definitely not going to put that general cock in anyone else but Lydia Petraeus, your wife. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You swore an oath, sir! | |
| So fucked up. | ||
| An earth of affection! | ||
| So fucked up. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| The guy didn't want to fuck his wife anymore. | ||
| That's a problem between them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This has nothing to do with us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| Is he still a good general? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Yeah, it's terrifying. | ||
| I mean, that's really where we enter into the land of absurdity. | ||
| Well, this is where it got really absurd. | ||
| Like, you know, people that think that there's some grand scheme to protect people and protect generals. | ||
| Dude, there's video of him when he was walking from City College in New York where he was teaching, and he'd have to walk down the street to where he was going, and the students were surrounding him, screaming at him, calling him a war criminal. | ||
| And they did it constantly. | ||
| He was teaching there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They would follow him, and they're filming him. | ||
| So the guys with the cameras are filming him, and then people around him are like, Fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| And he's on his own, dude. | ||
| He's helpless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| If they just jump him, they just jump him, no one's stopping them. | ||
| I thought people like that had, like, eternal guards or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Turns out, nope. | ||
| Turns out, nope. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Dude, they cast that guy aside. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if they've rectified the situation after that day, but that day he's by himself. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Turn it up. | ||
| Give me some volume on this. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Fuck. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have blood all over you! | |
| I can smell you! | ||
| Hey, this hyperbole is not necessary. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's crazy to imagine that guy sexting. | ||
| Sex the fuck out of some lady. | ||
| Ooh, yeah, like a missile. | ||
| Send it at home! | ||
| Here's a bunker, buster! | ||
| I bet when he comes, he whispers in her ear, boom! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what do you think? | ||
| But they left that guy alone. | ||
| That's what's interesting, man. | ||
| You would think that the amount of influence that guy had, I mean, that guy was one of the top generals, if not the top general in the country, right? | ||
| Wasn't he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he was a huge war hero. | ||
| There's been two instances of shit like that happening, where the other one was the Michael Hastings one. | ||
| Do you remember that one? | ||
| Vaguely. | ||
| This is a fascinating one if you really want to fire up your conspiracy theory hat. | ||
| You really want to turn that bitch to nine. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Michael Hastings was a journalist who was embedded, I believe it was in Iraq, it might have been in Afghanistan, but he was embedded in the Middle East somewhere and something happened. | ||
| Oh, that volcano erupted. | ||
| Remember when that volcano erupted and they canceled all air flight? | ||
| For a long time. | ||
| He was trapped over there with that, and they got way too comfortable with him. | ||
| And so they started talking around this journalist the way they always talk. | ||
| And he was joking around about Obama and making fun of Obama. | ||
| And they said a bunch of shit they probably shouldn't have said. | ||
| But that's just what fucking soldiers say when they're over there risking their goddamn lives for something they probably don't even understand. | ||
| You would want them to believe this is all for a good cause. | ||
| You would want them to believe everything that their general tells them, and if they gotta fucking crack some jokes at the president's expense to alleviate a little stress while we're out there killing strangers, no. | ||
| Intolerable. | ||
| INTOLERABLE! You were mocking the leader of the free world while you're out there killing strangers? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| So they made this guy resign. | ||
| So here's where it gets crazy. | ||
| Michael Hastings starts telling everybody, look, my life is in danger. | ||
| He's like, people are threatening my life on a daily basis. | ||
| If anything happens to me, I did not commit suicide. | ||
| Cut to him driving down, I think it was sunset, car going uncontrollably fast, slamming into a tree, the car exploding, the engine flying from the car. | ||
| He's dead as fuck. | ||
| They find amphetamines in his system, but that's Adderall, because that's what all journalists are on. | ||
| They're all on Adderall. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So they try to say, oh, the guy was on methanphetamines when he drove into a tree! | ||
| Case solved! | ||
| Classic. | ||
| Good job, Dick Tracy! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's just forget about it. | ||
| We connected the dots. | ||
| It was quite easy. | ||
| Meanwhile, there's people that have said with absolute certainty that with today's cars, it is incredibly possible Absolutely, credibly possible to control the car from a remote place and make the car do what you want to. | ||
| Dude, definitely. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| But we, I mean, this is, I love this line of this direction we're going in here, man. | ||
| Because you, it's great because it's like, this to me where it gets really, remember that thing that people would always say, the government is always, what is it, five years ahead, seven years ahead? | ||
| Remember it, I have a tattoo in my ass. | ||
| Did you get into that club in Berlin? | ||
| You gotta know, the government's ahead, bro. | ||
| But it's true. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| All that money that they have. | ||
| So, where it gets really interesting is when you start thinking about what that means in relation to computer intelligence and AI, and you start realizing, man, whatever the shit is that they have access to at this point, | ||
| Compared to what we think they have access to is so powerful, and so dangerous, that anybody who they want to take out, anybody they want to take out, they can take out. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| That's a problem, having anybody to have that much power. | ||
| Especially over the rest of us. | ||
| It's bad for them. | ||
| You know, and Kennedy talked about this when he was in office. | ||
| He talked about secret societies. | ||
| And keeping secrets from people and that's just generally it's a bad idea across the board for humans It's just bad for our human nature and for groups to have ultimate power of surveillance who just look into your life It's I mean Edward Snowden proved it. | ||
| It's it's obviously it's too easy It's too easy for people that work there to check on their ex-girlfriends do you think there's secret societies out there that we're not really aware of? | ||
| Well, if they're secret societies that we're aware of, that's because someone along the line opened their fucking trap. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And they let us know about a secret society. | ||
| That's how we found out about Skull and Bones. | ||
| Right. | ||
| One of those pussies told their mom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mom, they made me suck a dick and they filmed it and now I'm in the order. | |
| Isn't it like a glass coffin? | ||
| It's glass dick. | ||
| You suck a glass dick? | ||
| You suck a glass dick. | ||
| I thought, no way. | ||
| I thought you lay in a glass coffin. | ||
| And they jizz on you? | ||
| And they jizz on the glass. | ||
| Like you're laying down and you're looking up through a glass coffin and it's raining jizz. | ||
| What if you did that to a guy and he becomes uncontrollably hard and just shoots in his pants? | ||
| Well, I think you're naked in the glass coffin. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I don't know if they, like, put you in a funeral garb or whatever, but my guess is, like, I mean, if it was me, I'd be like, you know, I prefer to be naked. | ||
| If you're gonna fucking splatter chisel over this fucking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want you to be weirded out looking at my dick. | |
| Let's go for it, man. | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna lay down face first. | ||
| You just stare at my hairy ass. | ||
| I'll try to come on the coffin from inside while you come on it from the outside. | ||
| While singing ABBA songs. | ||
| But do you ever like... | ||
| I love thinking about this stuff because I do think that there is probably... | ||
| And this is kind of what we were talking about a little bit before, where the maps don't work anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think a lot of people like to live in a place where there's maps and they imagine that's all there is. | ||
| But I'm pretty sure that there are sectors of society that you just never see. | ||
| And you never will see. | ||
| Because they have around them this impermeable wall of wealth. | ||
| Like, you're not going to get in there. | ||
| Like, places that have membership fees that are like $600,000 a year. | ||
| Like, Yeah, I know a guy who lives in one of those gated communities that has a golf course, and the golf course costs a quarter million dollars a year. | ||
| That. | ||
| Because that creates this wall where most people get into. | ||
| And then also... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| People are living in compounds. | ||
| People are living in massive compounds that have entire teams of servants. | ||
| Like, dude, there's people who have eight nannies for their baby. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| There's people who have... | ||
| That's because they're poor and they can't afford 15 like a normal family. | ||
| Fifteen nannies. | ||
| You got all the different languages covered, the different styles, you could have gay nannies, straight nannies, see what the kid likes. | ||
| But that's, when you think about that, that there are these enclaves of wealth that are compounds surrounded by not just like financial walls, but literal walls with armed guards standing around the walls. | ||
| And inside these compounds, Our communities as a servant class, there are communities of servants that are having to serve these hyper-wealthy people. | ||
| That's a king and a queen. | ||
| It's a feudal compound that's being separated from the rest of the world. | ||
| At the very least, a duke. | ||
| And a duchess. | ||
| It's a duke and a duchess. | ||
| I mean, it's basically no different. | ||
| It's the same fucking thing because a lot of the people working in there are illegals. | ||
| So they don't even have recourse to normal laws and stuff like that. | ||
| And so what ends up happening in these compounds is there's people who are untraceable who live in there. | ||
| And that is when you end up in a fucking spacesuit sitting in a goddamn Tesla going to fucking Mars. | ||
| Because you could easily just put one of your fucking... | ||
| You could put a disgrace nanny in that fucking thing. | ||
| You know when they're really gangster? | ||
| When they have white nannies. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pretty white nannies. | ||
| Pretty white nannies. | ||
| The wife has to sit around like there's someone who's always at check. | ||
| Always at check. | ||
| Need a husband. | ||
| Not quite checkmate. | ||
| Always a check. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Keep moving it around. | ||
| Check. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, she conveniently dropped her keys in front of Luther. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at her pick them up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That dirty bitch. | |
| God, fucking crazy. | ||
| She's stuck her ass up in the air while she picks up the keys. | ||
| Monogamy's so dumb. | ||
| I can't believe I left these keys here. | ||
| Let Luther fuck the nanny. | ||
| Just let the nanny like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | |
| Because then... | ||
| Let the wife join in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She knows about the offshore accounts we have to offer. | |
| She knows about the taxes. | ||
| Dude, she knows more than that. | ||
| She knows more than that because what ends up happening in these compounds is you do start knowing things and you start knowing real things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Real shit. | |
| Yeah, you start getting the real downloads about what's actually happening, because these little fucking compounds, all those people are connected to each other. | ||
| They send each other Christmas cards, and they go to each other's parties and stuff, and they talk, and they know stuff, man. | ||
| You see the way Luther looked at the nanny? | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| She dropped her keys? | ||
| You really think she dropped her keys? | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| I did see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard. | |
| I heard. | ||
| Yeah, I was there. | ||
| She dropped the keys on purpose and stuck her ass right up in the air. | ||
| He's getting a divorce. | ||
| We've got to be careful here, folks. | ||
| We've got to keep this family together. | ||
| Well, these people sign, like, huge non-disclosure agreements. | ||
| So, like, they're wrapped up in a veil of secrecy anyway. | ||
| No, that's not what you have to worry about. | ||
| What you have to worry about is Harvey Keitel from Pulp Fiction. | ||
| That's what you have to worry about. | ||
| You gotta worry about someone making a phone call. | ||
| Some guy who works, some fucking Ray Donovan in real life guy who works for rich people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who can make a lot of money. | ||
| Imagine if you're friends with a billionaire. | ||
| And this billionaire is, uh, he's in a situation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, this is fucking guy. | ||
| He's just, you know, he's got pictures of my wife and, you know, he's trying to get some money out of me, man. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| Well, sir, we can make this disappear for a tidy sum of $200,000. | ||
| Done! | ||
| And then all of a sudden that guy just isn't around anymore. | ||
| Yeah, the guy just gets picked off, and whoever would investigate it gets paid off, and then it's like nothing happens. | ||
| Or he just disappears. | ||
| They just take him into the middle of the ocean. | ||
| Well, wasn't there just this billionaire Canadian couple that got executed? | ||
| Yep, executed in their house. | ||
| Yeah, it's like shit like that. | ||
| And they were part of some sketchy deal. | ||
| What were they connected to? | ||
| Was it the Clinton Foundation? | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Oh, Joe, with you and your conspiracy theories about the Clans, it's all coincidence after coincidence after coincidence. | ||
| Oh, did you bring up Seth Rich again? | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| No suspects. | ||
| Shot in the back, in front of his house, four in the morning. | ||
| No robbery. | ||
| Wallet remains. | ||
| Phone remains. | ||
| Watch remains. | ||
| Private investigator. | ||
| And he's the guy who gave up All the DNC leaked emails, he gave them up to WikiLeaks. | ||
| Nope, just coincidence. | ||
| Yeah, just fucking coincidence. | ||
| He gave up the linked emails that show that the Clinton campaign absolutely worked their fucking black magic to get Bernie Sanders knocked on. | ||
| No, cut it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop, stop, stop. | |
| Dude, how about hunting, man? | ||
| Put up that video again. | ||
| Put up that picture again. | ||
| What are you showing me? | ||
| Murdered Canadian billionaire couple Barry and Honey Sherman. | ||
| Several people murdered them, it says. | ||
| Several. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Crazy, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They got whacked. | ||
| Hey, they fucked up. | ||
| They fucked up. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| Didn't have a big enough army around them. | ||
| They didn't have the army. | ||
| You're gonna act like a duke and a duchess and you're gonna hang out with assassins. | ||
| Tried to save money on security. | ||
| You know, if I was running a security team, I'd show them. | ||
| I'd be like, take a look at these guys. | ||
| They tried to save money on their security team. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Okay, it says, real to discover their bodies dangling from a railing near their basement swimming pool. | ||
| I like that it says suspicious. | ||
| Like, oh yeah, this seems a little suspicious. | ||
| These billionaires are just hanging here. | ||
| Looks like they were strangled. | ||
| They died from a form of strangulation called ligature neck compression. | ||
| That means somebody wrapped a rope around their neck and choked them. | ||
| A garrote. | ||
| That is a personal way to kill someone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's very personal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's intense shit, man. | ||
| And these are old people. | ||
| 70, 75 years old. | ||
| If you Google that, it is not pretty pictures that you get back. | ||
| I don't want people's faces. | ||
| Not them, but just whatever comes up on Google. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| You don't want that. | ||
| Don't want that to happen to you. | ||
| See, this is why I think it would be scary to be friends with a billionaire. | ||
| It would be scary to be friends with someone way up at the upper ups because you almost don't want that level of access. | ||
| It's almost like, Look, man, you guys fucking do whatever you're doing up in your compounds, drink from the Iron Skull, come on the fucking coffins, open the portals, pull out the squids. | ||
| I'm enjoying my life down here. | ||
| I really don't want to know. | ||
| I would prefer to just speculate. | ||
| Well, here's the thing, man. | ||
| I'm sorry to interrupt you. | ||
| No, please, go ahead. | ||
| There's levels to everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| There's levels to the weirdness that's involved in immigrant communities that all keep the same language. | ||
| They all stay together. | ||
| They huddle up together. | ||
| They put their signs in their same language. | ||
| And then it becomes like a Koreatown or a Chinatown. | ||
| They all just huddle in that area and stay in that area. | ||
| There's weirdness to that. | ||
| There's weirdness to billionaires getting together. | ||
| We're all just going to do billionaire shit together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're all going to hang out together in these special clubs with those leather chairs with the buttons on them. | ||
| You know those leather chairs? | ||
| They're like smooshy. | ||
| They have like the puffy and then the buttons and there's little buttons all over them. | ||
| It's a high-backed leather chair. | ||
| You sit there and perhaps there's a little nightstand right next to you with a cigar ashtray. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you tap that little cigar and they bring over a cognac and you sift cognac like a gentleman and you talk about where you're hiding your money. | ||
| You talk about how you got rid of the syphilis before the wife found out. | ||
| You talk about how you're helping Trump get into position to make sure that you could drill in Africa or wherever the fuck you're going to do it. | ||
| This is what they do. | ||
| They get together. | ||
| Who else is going to know what they're talking about? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have to hang out with other billionaires. | ||
| And it's fucking generational. | ||
| And some of them start going crazy, like that cockboy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cockboy? | |
| You know, the cockboy is making those dumb shirts. | ||
| Have you seen that fucking... | ||
| Have you seen this shit? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude. | |
| You gotta see this. | ||
| This is like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cockboy? | |
| This is K-O-C-H. This is the progeny. | ||
| This is like the demonic antichrist progeny of like... | ||
| Oh, the Koch brothers. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's Koch, not cock. | ||
| The cockboy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The fucking cockboy. | ||
| Dude, this is what the Antichrist looks like. | ||
| Everybody thinks the Antichrist is going to be smart and nefarious and focused like Demian. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| He's going to make fashion shirts. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| Let me see what we got here. | ||
| Billionaire heir Wyatt Koch makes shirts about money. | ||
| I drank blood this morning! | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| The shirts are about money? | ||
| Can I see those pictures again? | ||
| That looks like pink handcuffs with keys. | ||
| How is that about money? | ||
| Because that's what I pay for. | ||
| I pay to be handcuffed. | ||
| Are you allowed to show these videos of him dancing around in his shirts and shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's actually been removed. | ||
| It's unavailable. | ||
| Somebody got it. | ||
| Dude, it's the weirdest fucking shit everywhere. | ||
| He brings his whimsical ideas to life with his retina-blasting shirt brand. | ||
| Wyatt Ingram. | ||
| So Wyatt Ingram is his shirt brand? | ||
| Yeah, but you gotta look up an interview with him because he says shit like, Daddy told me I could do whatever I want. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Look at his chick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Is that his girl? | ||
| Pick that bigger. | ||
| Goddamn, I approve! | ||
| I approve! | ||
| I'm on his side. | ||
| If a guy who looks like that can get a girl who looks like that, you go, boy! | ||
| What am I, a man-hater? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Am I one of these asshole men that shoot other men down? | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| No, I'm not either! | ||
| I see that guy, he didn't even bother, he didn't think once about losing weight. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| I'm not either. | ||
| I'm just using... | ||
| Wait, look at my zeros! | ||
| I'm just using that as an example of the progeny of billionaires. | ||
| Like, these people are like... | ||
| This is like something... | ||
| This shit's spilling out of the mansions, man. | ||
| Look at what it says here. | ||
| Bless this oafish coke heir and his hideous shirts. | ||
| He's a flamboyant guy, and now we're talking about him. | ||
| Good for you, sir. | ||
| I'm sorry, Coke. | ||
| He's smart. | ||
| He looks like the guy who sold the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. | ||
| Remember the dude? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Newman. | ||
| He looks like Newman, and he's banging a ten. | ||
| I mean, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| He also looks like he's been spending a lot of time in the skull and bones cum coffin Wyatt! | ||
| Wyatt, get out of the gum coffin! | ||
| No, father, I'm not satisfied. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I haven't absorbed all the energy of the gum into my being. | |
| Who knows, man? | ||
| It's just weird over there. | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| I hope he has a giant dick. | ||
| I think that's the dick in the left pant. | ||
| See the left pant where the yellow is? | ||
| It kind of bulges out where the yellow... | ||
| Yeah, that's his cock. | ||
| It's giant. | ||
| It's fat like a Quaker Oats box. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| That's him coming out. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like one of these water bottles. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| It's fat like that. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the end of it, it quivers. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Like the Demogorgon's mouth on Stranger Things. | ||
| The end of it, it doesn't have a slot. | ||
| It has like a little flower thing at the very end. | ||
| Every time we do an episode together, we end up describing some form of alien cock. | ||
| Every single time. | ||
| Like, I know the last one, we had a description of it. | ||
| Yeah, that's scary. | ||
| Well, we're very immature. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I think it's important to, like, speculate on the different types of potential alien cocks in the universe. | ||
| I think cocks go away. | ||
| I think cocks are... | ||
| This is a temporary situation. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's what aliens are. | ||
| That's when you see the aliens, they have no cocks. | ||
| No cocks. | ||
| No mouths. | ||
| We're gonna get rid of this mouth communication. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's terrible. | |
| We're gonna get rid of this cock and pussy fucking. | ||
| Sounds horrible. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We're gonna mind meld. | ||
| It's gonna be like DMT every time. | ||
| You're not even gonna want to have regular sex. | ||
| If you could, if I could give you the gift of being able to travel through space, wherever you wanted to go, but you had a nub down there, your cock's gone. | ||
| No, I'd be like Dr. Manhattan, just sitting on Mars by myself, all bored. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I like it here. | ||
| You'd rather hump. | ||
| I like America! | ||
| I like being right here! | ||
| Los Angeles! | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| I like it! | ||
| But you wouldn't want to see, like, float at the edge of- With my tiny little dick crying as I fly through the universe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Through infinity, like this. | ||
| I'm so bored! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Looking down, and I have, like, a dick, like, remember when they shrank Dr. Ken's dick in The Hangover? | ||
| They made it, like, so small you couldn't even see it. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| That would be what it was like. | ||
| Just, no! | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| It'd be so sad. | ||
| Yeah, and you'd live forever with no dick. | ||
| No dick. | ||
| Flying through space. | ||
| Just a nub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Bored. | ||
| Listen, man, I'm not into deals. | ||
| I like what's going on right now. | ||
| I don't want to hear your heaven deal. | ||
| I don't want to hear your space deal. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I'm good right here. | ||
| Well, I mean, don't you ever... | ||
| I mean, this is another thing. | ||
| We've done these so many times. | ||
| We're gonna repeat, of course, but like, dude, I do worry about you sometimes, man, because it's like, I think you're gonna get... | ||
| I think it's finally gonna happen. | ||
| I think one of your fucking guests is gonna come in here with a briefcase, and he's gonna show you something. | ||
| And I don't know what it is. | ||
| Like an alien piece of a spacecraft? | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I was hoping it was gonna be Tom DeLonge. | ||
| I was hoping he had something. | ||
| No, I think you're going to, you're accidentally going to get access for some reason. | ||
| I think somebody's going to give you something or show you something and you're in like, I worry about you, man. | ||
| Because it's like, yeah, because you've got like, you now have A platform that is unlike any platform that's happened, you know, because you're doing like a comedy podcast, radio show style thing, but you're also interviewing people about really heavy-duty shit. | ||
| And sure, you like pepper it up with freaks like me from time to time. | ||
| Pepper it up? | ||
| Yeah, but like you have... | ||
| You make it sound like the other people are on the main agenda. | ||
| I'm just peppering up a little Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Well, no, I'm just saying, like, what the fuck do I know? | ||
| Like, you're having people on you. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You and I have had my all-time favorite podcast. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| If I have my all-time favorite group of people, if I had, like, a handful of 10 people to pick forever, just do podcasts with them forever, you are 100% on that list. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, man. | |
| I appreciate that. | ||
| It's you and Diaz and Ari. | ||
| There's a few other people, Callan, but there's just a list of people that are just forever... | ||
| I love doing podcasts with you. | ||
| Don't you ever say that, you son of a bitch. | ||
| If it's between you and some fucking scientist who want to prove to me that telekinesis is real, I'm going with you. | ||
| Please take the scientist. | ||
| Then we'll do a podcast after. | ||
| But dude, I'm telling you, knowing all this shit... | ||
| And there's so many times when we've done this podcast where you and I have started talking, and the hair stands up on my arm, and I'm like, dude, we shouldn't be talking about some of this shit. | ||
| It gives me the real heebie-jeebies. | ||
| And then sometimes, I'll admit this to you, sometimes when I'm super stunned, I'm thinking about all the podcasts we've done, sometimes I think to myself, fuck Maybe Joe does know something like maybe you did End up getting some kind of little like shoulder rub with them where they're like not literally your shoulder up you just brush shoulders and they were like Hey, we love your show. | ||
| We love your show man. | ||
| They didn't even say anything They just showed themselves to you a little bit to be like hey look don't fuck around man. | ||
| Don't fuck around like you could talk and You're funny. | ||
| We like the way you talk. | ||
| But don't fuck around, man. | ||
| Don't you ever think that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| No, because I'm not like you, goddammit. | ||
| Plus, I don't keep those commie ideas floating around inside my head. | ||
| I got a goddamn American flag behind me, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| I'm friends with a ton of cops. | ||
| You got an American flag with a fucking... | ||
| Cow's skull above it, Joe. | ||
| It's actually an Asian buffalo from Australia that was arrowed by my great friend Adam Greentree. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| One of the best bow hunters on the face of the planet Earth. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He shot that thing. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean it's like... | ||
| He brought it to me because he's my friend. | ||
| Remember when we did that show? | ||
| Remember when we did that show, the sci-fi show? | ||
| But it was kind of, as the show progressed, we became increasingly sort of despondent upon realizing, because we're both so retarded that we thought maybe we were going to find an alien. | ||
| Like both of us secretly thought. | ||
| Well, it became very frustrating because you saw the same thing in everybody. | ||
| You saw this delusional belief in illogical things that they would argue illogically. | ||
| They weren't objective about the actual evidence versus what they wanted to perceive the evidence to point to. | ||
| They were all biased, which I've been biased before. | ||
| Everybody's been biased. | ||
| But it was just delusional. | ||
| Everyone was delusional. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| From the first UFO guy to the first chemtrail guy. | ||
| To the first Bigfoot guy, they were all either liars or delusional or they had errors in their thinking. | ||
| And then occasionally we would talk to a guy like that one dude that we met that was in the trailer that told us about the balls that would fly through the air. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, after that, I heard a podcast with a physicist, a guy who was a lightning expert, who was talking about ball lightning. | ||
| They don't know what causes it. | ||
| They don't know why it exists even. | ||
| It was on Radiolab, and it was fairly recently, and this guy was actually saying that lightning itself doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's not supposed to exist if you're measuring all of the energy in the sky. | ||
| There's something that we don't know about what the formation of lightning is, that it shouldn't even exist, shouldn't be possible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But this ball lightning is not only possible, it's been observed many, many times, and it's even happened inside of an airplane, where it floated down the aisle inside of an airplane, and multiple people witnessed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| People have seen ball lightning, they've gotten video of ball lightning, and what it looks like is exactly what that guy was describing to us, that this thing came through his house and then just disappeared. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Totally remember. | ||
| And he did not seem like a liar to me. | ||
| No. | ||
| I think he saw a ball of lightning. | ||
| And I think that area, near that Skinwalker Ranch place in particular, is, for whatever causes that phenomenon, it happens more frequently in that area. | ||
| It's very possible. | ||
| Because there were a lot of people over there that saw some shit. | ||
| Sure, man. | ||
| I mean, but this, that was disappointing. | ||
| But that was the most revealing. | ||
| That was revealing, and that was a weird area. | ||
| Yeah, it was weird. | ||
| That was a fucking weird area. | ||
| But don't you, like, imagine that... | ||
| Do you ever do this game, this is a fun game, where you start thinking about who the smartest person on the planet must be, like the Continuum of Intelligence game, where you start thinking like, okay, I know I land somewhere on the Continuum of Intelligence, I know there's people that are probably not quite as smart as I am. | ||
| And I know there's people who are way fucking smarter than I am. | ||
| And then you start thinking to yourself, who are those people? | ||
| And what are they up to? | ||
| And then you start thinking, see this is what I'd think about if I were you. | ||
| Then you start thinking like, fuck man, I've got this podcast that lots of people listen to. | ||
| Has it ever happened where maybe some really intelligent person has manipulated me in an attempt to get me to disseminate some kind of information out into the world? | ||
| Good luck manipulating me, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| I'm an American. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| These flags don't run or something. | ||
| What happens? | ||
| These colors... | ||
| These colors don't run! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm fucking... | |
| I know what's up, bro! | ||
| But you wouldn't even know. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| You wouldn't even... | ||
| Oh, I wouldn't know? | ||
| How would I not know? | ||
| These people are people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| If someone is so good at manipulating people that they can manipulate me and change the way I think about things. | ||
| Well then, good luck. | ||
| Right, I mean, but that's like, the thing is, like, this is, again, I'm not trying to make you paranoid or anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Too late. | |
| It's just... | ||
| But it's fun to think, because it's like this, like, okay, like, let's imagine, for the sake of just fun, we've established they're these fucking billionaires, and they live in these compounds, and they, and we've also established that certainly people like Michael Hastings and other people, they get killed all the time. | ||
| They might have, but I think he got killed because he got a fucking major general fired. | ||
| Major League General. | ||
| There's super powerful people who will use technology to kill people to have their own way. | ||
| So that means that there is some group or series of groups of people that are doing highly nefarious actions from places of power. | ||
| Or I'm just paranoid and I'm connecting the dots here. | ||
| Maybe he was on speed and drove into a tree. | ||
| Honestly, I do not know. | ||
| It's very fun to think that it's a conspiracy and they killed him. | ||
| Very fun. | ||
| If you look at Occam's razor, you know, if you applied Occam's razor, the most likely scenario is that he just drove into the tree. | ||
| That's not very sexy. | ||
| Here's a way to kind of help out... | ||
| With Occam's Razor, with these kinds of things, is just think, okay, I have $100,000, and I'm going to put bets in this awesome casino where the truth is revealed. | ||
| So, are you going to put the money down on him being assassinated? | ||
| Are you going to put the money down on him being on speed and driving into a tree after he said, if I commit suicide, it's not a suicide? | ||
| I've got to meet the guy. | ||
| That might have been throwing people Don't get to meet him. | ||
| Maybe he wanted to leave a fucking story. | ||
| Maybe this guy's like, you know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just going to have these people think that I got suicided by the feds, man! | |
| Sure. | ||
| Fuck them all! | ||
| Fuck them all, man! | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| I know where you'd put your money. | ||
| I know where I'd put my money. | ||
| Listen, if it was like 50 bucks, yeah, I'm gonna bet on conspiracy because it's exciting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If I lose 50 bucks, I won't feel that. | ||
| I'll feel like, well, fuck. | ||
| I was hoping to win. | ||
| But you're like, I'm just saying, man, how do you deal with being on the fucking radar, man? | ||
| Because the thing is, if there is an interest in controlling the reality tunnel, we know that I agree with you, but I don't think it's a united front. | ||
| This war to control the paradigm is most tightly fought between left and right. | ||
| It's most tightly fought in government, in the real things. | ||
| What we're doing is commentating on the sidelines. | ||
| If I'm influencing anybody, I'm influencing people by pointing them to information that I see that's already out there. | ||
| There's a big difference between these people are in power against each other. | ||
| There's got to be some people that are influencers that get access or get shit upon, especially in the age of Trump. | ||
| If he finds out you're against him, he's very vindictive. | ||
| He calls Don Lemon a moron. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He shits all over those CNN hosts and calls CNN fake news. | ||
| But Sean Hannity and Fox and friends, he'll praise them in his tweets. | ||
| There's an information war going on with these people. | ||
| But they're paying attention to right and left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Assholes like me that are like, what am I? | ||
| I'm a fence sitter. | ||
| I mean, if fucking Ron Paul was running for president, I'd probably be like, I'm in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Let's see how this works. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I like his ideas. | ||
| He was a guy that, when he was running for president, I was like, okay, well, this guy's clearly a very honorable person. | ||
| He's clearly a very honest person. | ||
| I mean, by all accounts. | ||
| Let's see what he does. | ||
| Let's see what he does. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| It's got to be better than just knowing you're being bullshitted. | ||
| So many of them are just so obviously bullshitting you that you're listening to these canned fucking speeches and you're like, goddammit, I don't resonate with you at all. | ||
| This is not... | ||
| Presidential type of address? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Where I talk in a way that you've never heard a normal person talk in your presence before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you might say to yourself, well that's weird man! | |
| But I gotta talk like that when there's a lot of people. | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| And I don't understand. | ||
| You put a shield up, and the shield is an act. | ||
| You have a presidential act. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or you have a strip club DJ act. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Or you have a morning DJ act. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Five o'clock past the hour. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Led Zeppelin. | ||
| Houses of the holy. | ||
| The ocean. | ||
| Da-da-da-da-da. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's the fucking voice. | ||
| I've heard that voice a thousand times. | ||
| It's a goddamn costume that people wear. | ||
| You also have a fuck voice. | ||
| Don't forget that. | ||
| I don't have a fuck voice. | ||
| You don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, come on! | |
| Let me put it in! | ||
| I talk like you when I'm fucking. | ||
| I don't talk like that! | ||
| Hey, come on, guys! | ||
| I don't talk like that! | ||
| Let's get crazy! | ||
| Put me in the cum coffin! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Do you, you, um, you don't have a fuck voice? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| So you want to hear my fuck voice? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey. | |
| It's time to fuck. | ||
| It's time to fuck. | ||
| There's so much shame in wanting to fuck. | ||
| Ooh, she wants to fuck. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| Terrible person! | ||
| Would you have an itchy vagina? | ||
| Your vagina needs to get scratched. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's definitely one of the tragic parts of society is that people feel shame about that. | ||
| I love the scene in Game of Thrones when Cece- what's her name? | ||
| The beautiful woman- Cersei. | ||
| Cersei, thank you. | ||
| When Cersei's walking naked down the street, they're going, SHAME! The shame bell. | ||
| SHAME! I have the shame bell app on my phone. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| You can get the shame bell app. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't have any more. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Was it too much? | ||
| It was too much power. | ||
| You were addicted to the shame bell. | ||
| It was too much power. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like when people delete their Facebook off their phone. | |
| I know people that like regularly delete their Facebook. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| They just take it off their phone. | ||
| I can't do this anymore, man. | ||
| Too much power with the shame bell, man. | ||
| But people, there's a lot of dudes who ring that fucking shame bell at girls all the fucking time, man. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| You're ruining the whole vibe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you know what it is? | ||
| Because guys feel terrible when a girl leaves them and fucks somebody else. | ||
| They want to make it very difficult to have a new man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're having sex with more than one man, you dirty little bitch! | |
| You hussy! | ||
| Yeah, or if you're polyamorous, then they call you a cuck because you don't care that other people are fucking your girlfriend. | ||
| Save that hippie talk for when you move to Cuba or wherever the fuck you're going. | ||
| I don't think they... | ||
| Just listen! | ||
|
unidentified
|
In America, you get a fucking wife, and that's it, you greedy bitch. | |
| That's it, you bitch. | ||
| There's an even number of people over here. | ||
| This ain't China, son. | ||
| You want to go live in China? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| There's like fucking ten guys every one chick! | ||
| I'm going! | ||
| I'm going! | ||
| Ten guys every one chick. | ||
| You're going to wind up butt-fucking other dudes. | ||
| Well, fuck it. | ||
| Yeah, you say fuck it. | ||
| Come coffins all day, baby. | ||
| That's what happens in prison. | ||
| People get crazy. | ||
| They start having sex with men. | ||
| You've got to figure out a way out. | ||
| Of prison or having sex with men? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Figure out a way. | ||
| Gotta get rid of your cum. | ||
| Cum's gotta figure out a way out. | ||
| What's the best way? | ||
| Your hand. | ||
| Gonna have to fuck guys or something. | ||
| Shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is bullshit. | ||
| That's what happens if you live in China. | ||
| That's what happens if... | ||
| I don't know how real... | ||
| A real lesson here to learn. | ||
| But if there's more than 10 to 1 men to women... | ||
| That's what happens if you live in China. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Don't they have some crazy problem over there? | ||
| I'm not making this up. | ||
| They have a prick. | ||
| Joking, folks. | ||
| Obviously, I'm joking. | ||
| But there's a crazy problem over there with the ratio of men to women. | ||
| What is the ratio? | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| What is the ratio of men to women in China? | ||
| I think it's something like 60-40. | ||
| It might be higher. | ||
| That's bad news, man. | ||
| It might be higher. | ||
| That's dangerous. | ||
| I might have made that up. | ||
| That's a dangerous ratio. | ||
| It's a spooky ratio. | ||
| I've read the ratio. | ||
| It's not a good ratio. | ||
| It's a spooky, fucked up ratio. | ||
| Well, you know, for a long time, they had limitations on how many children you can have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is just fucking terrifying. | ||
| They messed up the whole thing. | ||
| It's not just that, man. | ||
| People were killing their baby if they found out their baby was a girl. | ||
| I mean, this is a real thing. | ||
| It didn't happen everywhere. | ||
| It didn't happen all the time. | ||
| But there absolutely were girls that were drowned because they were girls because the family wanted a boy. | ||
| And if you don't think that that's the case, you're delusional. | ||
| I think you're delusional. | ||
| I think if you put those kind of restrictions on intensely poor people, some of them in some parts of the country, they're in terrible poverty. | ||
| And you tell them they can only have one kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They don't want to have a boy, because a boy's gonna help them work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know if these stories of them drowning baby girls were true, because I wasn't there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But those stories persist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| I've never snoped them. | ||
| But I don't think they know either. | ||
| If you weren't there while it happened... | ||
| God, it's so brutal. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| It's a horrible thing to think of! | ||
| To have a baby and then just drown it because it doesn't have a dick? | ||
| Dude, people have done that. | ||
| People have left babies in garbage cans. | ||
| I mean, people have done a lot of terrible things to babies. | ||
| When I was a kid, I worked at a place called Newport Creamery and it was right next to a bank. | ||
| And a girl that worked in the bank was pregnant. | ||
| She never told anybody she was pregnant. | ||
| She gave birth in the toilet and left the baby in the garbage. | ||
| They found the baby in the fucking garbage. | ||
| Dead. | ||
| And she got arrested. | ||
| And this was a girl I used to go to. | ||
| She was a bank teller. | ||
| I would go to the teller. | ||
| What was she like? | ||
| She seemed awkward. | ||
| Did you guys go on any dates or anything? | ||
| No, I did not. | ||
| She wasn't attractive, but she was a large woman, which is why nobody could tell that she was pregnant, because she was big. | ||
| And she apparently had been pregnant and didn't tell anybody. | ||
| And nine months pregnant at work and just had the baby in the toilet and threw it in the trash can. | ||
| And I don't know if she didn't take the trash out. | ||
| I don't know how she got busted. | ||
| Can you imagine going into the bathroom and you're taking a shit and you're like, why does it smell like... | ||
| Baby in here. | ||
| What the fuck is that smell? | ||
| And then you look in the waste paper basket and you see an eye. | ||
| Just looking at you. | ||
| That is so fucked up, man. | ||
| So fucked up. | ||
| That was a real person that I knew. | ||
| The country with the highest gender disparity at birth is in China. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Liechtenstein. | ||
| Oh, where's that? | ||
| Terrible place. | ||
| Sad place. | ||
| Okay, but let's find out what the ratio of men to women is. | ||
| There's about 33 million more men than women. | ||
| So it's like 733 million men and 688 or something like that. | ||
| Okay, so it's like 90s. | ||
| That's like in the 90s, isn't it? | ||
| Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's still a large number. | ||
| Thank God for sex robots. | ||
| That's better, though. | ||
| That's better than I thought it was. | ||
| Within 115 males, every 100... | ||
| Go ahead, brother. | ||
| 115 males to every 100 females. | ||
| China is in the country with the most historic. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Imagine if you're in a room. | ||
| There's 115 dudes and 100 girls. | ||
| It's like a crazy musical chair thing. | ||
| You're like, shit, I've got to find a gal. | ||
| This one's worse. | ||
| We're in Liechtenstein. | ||
| It's 126 males to every 100, but there's less than 40,000 people in the whole country. | ||
| So it's even worse. | ||
| Because there's less. | ||
| Less possibility. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Imagine if there's a country. | ||
| That's a crazy country. | ||
| 37,000 people. | ||
| That's a crazy country. | ||
| That country is like Burbank. | ||
| No, it's not even Burbank. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like, what's 37,000? | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| Part of LA has 37,000 people in it. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, Jesus Christ. | ||
| 37,000. | ||
| That's nothing out here. | ||
| Boulder is 100,000. | ||
| And Boulder seems so quaint. | ||
| That town is one-third the size of Boulder. | ||
| I mean, that country is one-third the size of Boulder. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| When you think of it that way, that's amazing. | ||
| As many people as in Culver City. | ||
| Imagine if Culver City was a country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Beverly Hills has 34,000. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| So it's Beverly Hills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's Beverly Hills as a country. | ||
| With all dudes. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| With all dudes. | ||
| Just like Beverly Hills. | ||
| That gay couple thing is sad as fuck. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| People have a real hard time with the idea of gay people raising kids. | ||
| They get real angry. | ||
| I just can't think that all gay people are the same. | ||
| Why would you not think that some gay people would be good at all kinds of things? | ||
| There's gonna be gay people that are great carpenters. | ||
| There's gonna be gay people just like straight people. | ||
| There's gonna be awesome ones, and there's gonna be ones that are fucked up. | ||
| The idea that they wouldn't be good parents. | ||
| Wouldn't you rather have two gay parents that loved you than a mother that's a fucking crackhead and a dad that's a piece of shit and beats you? | ||
| Two gay people that let you be yourself. | ||
| They're cool and conscientious. | ||
| They just happen to be homosexual. | ||
| They love each other. | ||
| They hug in front of you. | ||
| You realize we're all wrapped up in this bullshit of men and women should only be together. | ||
| Heterosexual people like ourselves. | ||
| We get weird when you think of someone who's homosexual. | ||
| Like, I'm fully in support of it, but if they started fucking right in front of me, I'd be like, hey, I gotta go. | ||
| Whereas, like, if Duncan started banging his girlfriend right in front of me, I'd be like, um... | ||
| You'd love it. | ||
| Do you want me to cheer you on? | ||
| Just watch. | ||
| Just watch. | ||
| Okay, don't look at me when you come, though. | ||
| That last time was weird. | ||
| Just, like, look over. | ||
| Make eye contact with me. | ||
| I've seen guys kiss in public, and part of me is happy for them. | ||
| Part of me is like, that's awesome, that they're so comfortable. | ||
| In 2018 now, it was 17 at the time, maybe even 16. I've seen it a couple of times. | ||
| One time I was driving, and I was going from the Comedy Store. | ||
| I took a right, and then I went down... | ||
| Is it Doheny? | ||
| Which street is it? | ||
| One of the streets that goes right to Santa Monica Boulevard, which is like... | ||
| Full rage gay central. | ||
| They're just dudes in the streets partying. | ||
| There's this big gay club with guys on poles and shit. | ||
| And there's these two dudes. | ||
| And they were hanging out. | ||
| And they were belt looping. | ||
| Where, like, they each had their hands on the other's belt loops, like, anchoring in, and they were just grinding on each other and kissing, and I was just, I was in my car, I was like, oh, Jesus! | ||
| Jesus, keep moving! | ||
| Don't stop here! | ||
| I was, like, terrified, I was like, the car was stopped, and they were right there, like, belt looping and making out. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Simulator, you have access to any experience you want. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And you're in it for, I don't know, a hundred thousand years. | ||
| You're like some, you're an immortal being. | ||
| How long before you simulate fucking a dude, Joe? | ||
| Well, you know what happened with Marlon Brando? | ||
| Yeah, he fucked Pryor. | ||
| He also fucked Marvin Gaye. | ||
| What a roster. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's just really into talented black guys. | ||
| Yeah, wow. | ||
| But you're not answering the question. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| In the simulator. | ||
| How long? | ||
| How long before you start having sex with guys? | ||
| How long before you decide to have sex with a guy, like in a simulator? | ||
| It's like for like thousands of years you're having, you know, any kind of, you can literally fuck. | ||
| Anybody that you want in this simulation. | ||
| And you're in there for a long time. | ||
| So you go through fucking every single possible iteration of woman. | ||
| You just fuck and fuck three ways, six ways, thousands of ways. | ||
| You're just laying in a rainforest of beautiful pussies squirting on you and fucking and everything that your mind can think of sexually. | ||
| You're just doing it. | ||
| How long before you start adding cock into the equation? | ||
| Well, I think if we did an experiment where we both took a journey like that, where I'll see you, we'll be just like we are now, but it would be 100,000 years of whatever you want later, okay? | ||
| We'll show up 100,000 years from now, you'll have dick on your breath, and I won't. | ||
| I would have gone through the whole hundred thousand years with no gay sex, because I could do whatever I want. | ||
| Why would I fuck dudes? | ||
| I would have sex with girls, and then when I was done having sex with girls, I would take a nap or I'd do some other shit. | ||
| Meanwhile, you'd be like, I gotta stick it somewhere, man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
When can I start fucking guys? | |
| It's true, man. | ||
| Yeah, I would get to the finish line. | ||
| And I'd be like, no, dude. | ||
| A finish line? | ||
| I would be like, yeah, made it to 100,000 years. | ||
| 100,000 years, that's the race. | ||
| No dick for 100,000 years. | ||
| You would have made it with a... | ||
| Because you're eternal. | ||
| You just have girlfriends, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why would you just start sucking dick because, well, it's about that time! | |
| You look at your watch, what, after a couple of years, you're like, enough of this pussy! | ||
| Couple of months. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Why is 100,000 years any different than 20 years? | ||
| Did 20 years ago you feel less likely to suck a dick than you feel today? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're the exact same goddamn human being other than you've learned and gotten better at life. | ||
| You still like the same shit. | ||
| First of all, I just want to go back a little bit, because you said at the end of the 100,000 years, I've cocked on my... | ||
| You don't have dick in your breath, and I won't. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| In my simulator, in my simulator, cocks are going to have different flavors. | ||
| It's not going to just be cock. | ||
| It'll be like an owl toy. | ||
| That's how they get you. | ||
| They get you by minty. | ||
| I hate to say this to you, but your dick tastes terrible, and you need to get it minty. | ||
| There's a way. | ||
| There's a way. | ||
| And then guys are going to suck it, and then they're going to get mint in their mouth. | ||
| If you sucked my dick, you'd get mint in your mouth. | ||
| You want to feel it? | ||
| Just try it out. | ||
| I know it seems weird, but it'll get you minty. | ||
| I will fully admit that at the end of the 100,000 years, I've sucked dicks in the sex simulator, but the fact that you think you haven't, I would like to do a poll. | ||
| I'll get to the end. | ||
| I'd be wearing a cowboy hat. | ||
| Bare-chested. | ||
| That's... | ||
| Riding a horse. | ||
| I'm fighting it off with every fiber of my being, but I make it. | ||
| I don't want my bare chest, and I'm bare chested with a bandana. | ||
| Like, I'm close. | ||
| I'm close. | ||
| I'm shaving my chest with a straight razor in the front mirror at the barbershop. | ||
| I'm super close to going gay, but I don't. | ||
| I make it to 100,000 years. | ||
| Clean. | ||
| I have cowboy boots on with no socks. | ||
| Then you lose. | ||
| You lose the race. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wrong. | |
| I fucking win. | ||
| I don't have dick in my breath at the end of the race. | ||
| And I don't have those dirty memories either. | ||
| You have dirty, dirty memories. | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| Of butts and shit and Tupperware and slip and slide with the jizz. | ||
| You think I'm stopping with dudes? | ||
| I'm sucking off dinosaurs. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You can have anything you want. | ||
| You can butt fuck a unicorn in the sky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| If you could do whatever you want. | ||
| If you could do whatever you want. | ||
| You had like full charge. | ||
| Like if your life was a virtual... | ||
| experience that you can control with your mind as if you had a control panel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You would just start sucking dicks. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| I'd be bulletproof, robbing banks. | ||
| Among other things! | ||
| I'd be fighting vampires. | ||
| I'd make a whole world. | ||
| I would do a bunch of shit. | ||
| I'd fly. | ||
| I'd fly all over the place. | ||
| I wouldn't land and suck a dick. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, have you ever heard the Alan Watts thing about this? | ||
| You ever heard Alan Watts talk about this? | ||
| I've heard him talk about it a lot, but not about that. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| No, he talks about... | ||
| He does this great thought experiment, which is like, okay, if you were able to do anything you wanted, you've definitely heard this. | ||
| But if you were able to do anything you wanted, if you were an infinite being, omnipotent, and you could do whatever you want, You would experiment with making everything, and you would try everything, and you would do everything. | ||
| We're talking about infinity. | ||
| You're literally in this state of creative flow for infinity. | ||
| And he has a great lecture that I'm going to butcher. | ||
| You should look it up, because he's such an articulate genius. | ||
| But the essence of the thing is, eventually, Eventually. | ||
| Upon doing everything and creating a universe and creating planets and creating a planet where there's life on it and being a God that communicates with the beings on the planet, you're going to start thinking to yourself, I wonder what would happen if I made myself one of the beings on the planet and couldn't remember that I was God. | ||
| And that's what you are, that's what we are, is we are one of the experiments of the Divine seeing, shit, I wonder what happens if I forget that I'm capable of creating anything that I want whenever I want, that I've made the entire universe. | ||
| Let me turn myself into this hyper-limited version of myself with no memory of what I was and play that game at that level, because it's a lot more fun, it's amusing, it's exciting, right? | ||
| And that's when Alan Watts starts talking about Which cocks he would simulate inside that machine? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever heard Marshall McLuhan speak? | ||
| No. | ||
| There's some interesting YouTube videos. | ||
| You could watch McLuhan talk, and he doesn't look anything like you'd expect. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| His scientific dissection Of what's happening with media and what's happening with technology and where the future lies is so fascinating because it's from the 1960s. | ||
| And he's talking about the media is the message, I think is the name of the lecture in the book. | ||
| That was the same book where he wrote one of my all-time favorite quotes that human beings are the sex organs of the machine world Like this guy had no internet. | ||
| He had I mean nothing was like anything to the most electronics they had was a goddamn calculator Yeah, they had nothing the computers they had were giant rooms filled with shit, you know like yeah, but somehow or another he saw where it was all going He was seeing things And pointing things out just with the very nature of our ability to communicate and our ability to innovate and where it was all headed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking fascinating because you think about how it did play out and no one saw this coming, man. | ||
| What no one saw coming was what we're on right now, the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This fucking new thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where people can just find out the answer to, like we've done so far today, about scientific questions, about Descartes, and fucking periods that this was constructed, and when did this happen, and 1079, what? | ||
| You're getting a download unlike anybody that's ever lived. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Everybody can do it. | ||
| This is the thing that's making the boundaries between us and the leaders of the world. | ||
| This is why there's such a problem. | ||
| It's because we have all the information too. | ||
| Everybody has all the information. | ||
| And the only thing that's keeping it all glued together is tradition. | ||
| The only thing that's keeping the hierarchies into the position of power they're at right now without being completely abandoned and restructured from the bottom up, the only thing that's keeping them together is tradition. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The only thing that's keeping government and just borders and nations and the whole concept that we're existing, that there are a bunch of different countries and there's a bunch of different leaders and this guy controls the truth. | ||
| The only thing that's keeping that together is tradition. | ||
| The only thing. | ||
| If we eventually can communicate with each other in a way that foregoes all of the current limitations and all the past limitations. | ||
| Something that bypasses all that stuff. | ||
| One of the first things that's going to go is the illogical traditions. | ||
| But it seems like it's traditions being guarded by dudes with guns. | ||
| They are. | ||
| But those dudes with guns are going to die. | ||
| And new young dudes with guns are going to take their place. | ||
| This is just a... | ||
| I mean, it might take generations. | ||
| But this is what happens with ideas. | ||
| It's just happening so fast now. | ||
| And some of the people with the old ideas, they were born and raised with the old ideas. | ||
| They're still around. | ||
| They're still stuck in this old system. | ||
| But then this new system has blossomed and they're trapped. | ||
| And they're shitting bricks. | ||
| They're shitting bricks. | ||
| And they're trying to stop it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And they're actively trying to stop it. | ||
| Did you hear that shit Jeff Sessions said? | ||
| I don't mean to keep harping on that guy. | ||
| Yeah, please do. | ||
| He said that, like... | ||
| He just came out again saying that he thinks that the opioid epidemic, as they call it, is being partially fueled by marijuana as a gateway drug. | ||
| That marijuana is getting people onto painkillers, which is a completely... | ||
| I mean, not only is it wrong, it's like they can show... | ||
| Statistics that seem to indicate that... | ||
| The opposite. | ||
| The opposite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that crazy fuck is saying it publicly like it's real and it's not. | ||
| And just the fact that, like, that man is allowed... | ||
| to continue having his job which theoretically somebody who's in his position should be so hyper aware of the data on all drugs because a person in that position we need a person just like you're saying we need shepherds like this fucking fentanyl shit man yes one of my friends he lost his his his wife to this so many people are dying because of this like we know a couple people that are dying from it It's terrible. | ||
| It killed Tom Petty. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| It killed Prince. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| So we need to have some regulatory force that's making sure that these poisons... | ||
| But they're not regulating that. | ||
| They're going after the stuff that's the most innocuous, the safest, the most beneficial. | ||
| Medicinal. | ||
| Could you imagine having a podcast with Jeff Sessions? | ||
| Just you sitting across from Jeff Sessions for three hours and talking to him about things. | ||
| Dude, I've heard... | ||
| And this is like... | ||
| I hate to say... | ||
| He smells like sulfur? | ||
| No, I hate to say this. | ||
| I don't want to say this. | ||
| I've heard he's funny and he likes to argue and he's cool to hang out with. | ||
| That's what sucks. | ||
| Yeah, you want him to be like... | ||
| Well, you say that, but if you had him on a podcast, I bet you'd chip away through all those... | ||
| That party personality. | ||
| No, these people, that's the problem, man. | ||
| These people, they're not... | ||
| Lizards. | ||
| They're not lizards. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| If they were fucking lizards, if only Jeff Sessions was a fucking lizard. | ||
| The problem is, it's like, they're not like that. | ||
| They're just confused. | ||
| Yes, Master Sessions. | ||
| Your podcast is wonderful. | ||
| Thank you, Father. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| No, the problem is we have to have compassion for these people because they're not bad. | ||
| They're misguided. | ||
| Misinformed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| And they can be turned around with the proper experiences. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And if they're willing to abandon their previous notions. | ||
| But the problem is so many people are so invested in their identity that it's impossible for them to give up their notions. | ||
| Just like the Egyptologists that don't want to look at the possibility that maybe they've been doing these fantastic constructions in Egypt a lot longer than we think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Which is entirely possible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Take it back to Egypt one last time. | ||
| No one's doubting that the Great Pyramid of Giza was constructed somewhere around 2500 BC, according to all the data that we have right now. | ||
| Because they've been able to carbon date stuff that they find in between the stones. | ||
| They're pretty sure that it's somewhere in that range. | ||
| They're off here or there a little bit. | ||
| But there's some other construction that... | ||
| John Anthony West pointed out that's buried under sand they find. | ||
| It might have been buried for who knows how fucking long. | ||
| And it's a different style of construction. | ||
| And it looks really old. | ||
| One of the things about the styles of construction and the things that they find in Egypt is a lot of it is buried in sand after a while. | ||
| Even the Sphinx itself. | ||
| You know, when they found the Sphinx... | ||
| And one of the things that... | ||
| One of the people that is in some of the ancient hieroglyphs, it's attributed to being alive at the same time as a scroll, I forget which pharaoh, but he heard in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx, that he would become pharaoh of Egypt, because it was covered in sand. | ||
| Like, he had written down at that time, and this was like 2000 BC or something crazy like that, it was covered in sand back then. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They don't even know. | ||
| I mean, there's so little they know about who made it and why. | ||
| I bet you know the answer to this. | ||
| How, and this is probably a dumb question, I'm sorry, but how deep is the sand out there? | ||
| Like, how far down does that fucking sand get? | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| And doesn't sand, here's the other thing, isn't sand from oceans beating down rocks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what sand is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what's the most fucked up thing about the desert. | ||
| There's just no goddamn ocean. | ||
| But you've got so much sand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is mostly from what? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| I think sand's mostly created, it's probably created a few different ways, but I think it's mostly created by oceans beating down rocks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's just time. | ||
| You're just looking at time. | ||
| You're looking at the craziest fucking stamp of time we can look at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long does it take for an ocean to turn rocks into a goddamn desert? | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| What is under the sand? | ||
| A mega lake? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Beneath the sands of the Sahara Desert, scientists have discovered evidence of a prehistoric mega lake! | ||
| There's a monster down there! | ||
| Using images of windblown sediments, sediments produced by running water and bedrock seen by radar beneath the desert sands, the geologists pieced together the profile of an ancient mega lake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| Cool. | ||
| So the sand goes 69 to 141 feet in the Sahara... | ||
| And three feet in the Simpson Desert. | ||
| I don't know where that is. | ||
| The depths of sand varies widely around the world. | ||
| 69 to 141 feet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 141 feet of just sand. | ||
| So, am I right that sand is created by the ocean beating down rocks? | ||
| I think that's true most of the time, and maybe it's not true all the time. | ||
| It's so nice to be so stupid. | ||
| You just ask questions. | ||
| It's so fun to figure it out. | ||
| Like, you get to know. | ||
| Like, it's great. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was talking to Neil deGrasse Tyson the other day, and he was trying to explain to me escape velocity. | ||
| And he takes my shoe. | ||
| He goes, let me see your shoe. | ||
| And he takes my shoe, and he goes, now, if I throw this up in the air, it's going to come down. | ||
| But if I throw it hard enough... | ||
| It will escape the pull of the gravity of the Earth, and once it's free, it will go on forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You sit there like, what? | ||
| That's fucking cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You try to put that in your head like, wait a minute, what? | ||
| It goes on forever. | ||
| Isn't that the problem? | ||
| Now this, Scott, this is great. | ||
| Two just dummies talking. | ||
| Isn't this the problem with the moon? | ||
| Is that, not the problem with the moon, but if you jump on the moon, you can escape the escape, like it's easier to get out of the escape velocity of the moon? | ||
| No, it's one-sixth Earth's gravity. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always thought on the moon you could jump and you would fly into space. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| You can, theoretically, you can jump higher, and if you believe in NASA, bro, there's some videos of guys jumping around on the moon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem with the videos of people on the moon is that there are videos that look 100% fake. | ||
| What guys fall forward and it looks like they get yanked up by wires. | ||
| There's a lot of video that looks fake as fuck. | ||
| I don't know if it's fake. | ||
| I don't know if it just looks fake because it's 1-6 the Earth's gravity and we don't know what that really looks like until you see it play out. | ||
| But there's some videos of guys falling down face first and getting yanked back up. | ||
| It looks like they're yanked by cords. | ||
| Have you seen that picture of the thing that looks like... | ||
| What's up, Jamie? | ||
| After we talked about this last time, some people sent in videos of NFL players doing the exact same thing in the end zone. | ||
| Yeah, super athletes. | ||
| There's three or four guys doing it. | ||
| Throw their body, but they don't have a giant pack on their back. | ||
| They're not wearing helmets. | ||
| They're wearing helmets. | ||
| That shit's light compared to what the astronauts are wearing, dude. | ||
| Astronauts have like a suit that keeps them... | ||
| But if the concept is the suit, if the concept is they're not even on the fucking moon, then that suit could just be paper mache. | ||
| But some of the ones where they're pitched completely forward and they just go backwards. | ||
| That's literally what I'm trying to find it right now. | ||
| I would love to see it. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So you're still wavering on whether we went to the moon? | ||
| No, I'm too dumb and uneducated to really know, but I am wavering more on the possibility that some of the footage was faked. | ||
| Let me see this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Super quick. | |
| It's a five second video, so it's like no instant reply. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| That is not the same thing, Jamie. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| Super similar, though. | ||
| Dude, bullshit. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| I'll do that right now. | ||
| I'll find another one. | ||
| The guy goes to his knees and then uses his momentum to pop up from his knees. | ||
| I've seen some that look pretty crazy, though, man. | ||
| Dude, that's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll find another one. | |
| The moon ones are way more preposterous than that. | ||
| I've seen better examples than that, though. | ||
| Oh yeah, super athletes. | ||
| But what they're doing is springing up, and you can see the kinetic energy from their legs that's forcing them up. | ||
| They're super athletes. | ||
| They show off. | ||
| Those guys do backflips and shit all the time. | ||
| They're physically capable of doing things that a normal person can't do, but they're not physically capable of defying physics. | ||
| What you're seeing in a lot of those moon videos looks like someone's defying physics. | ||
| They pitch forward and they bounce back up. | ||
| I think they shot a bunch of shit. | ||
| And I think some of the video, if you're going into space and you're experiencing deep radiation, the Van Allen radiation belts and from the sun. | ||
| Dude, you can't even go through the fucking x-ray machine at the airport. | ||
| The old x-ray machines with film. | ||
| They wouldn't let you. | ||
| Because if you went through with film, it would kill your fucking film. | ||
| So how are they getting these perfect videos and photos and none of them are fucked up by radiation? | ||
| It's entirely possible that they did go to the moon, but they faked a bunch of the film footage because they wanted to have something and they couldn't really bring anything back. | ||
| It's entirely possible. | ||
| There's faked footage from the Russians, 100%. | ||
| There's a precedent. | ||
| The footage of Yuri Gagarin when he's circling Earth for the first time and he goes in a rocket and the first guy in space... | ||
| It's fake as fuck, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| He's inside this tiny little compartment and all of a sudden they got room in there for a camera? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here, bitch. | ||
| You see a light source this way and a light source that way. | ||
| He's got dueling shadows behind him because they got lights set up in there because they're filming him inside this capsule. | ||
| No. | ||
| He shot up in the space. | ||
| He really did do it. | ||
| But they couldn't fit a goddamn camera in this tiny little capsule. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's no room. | ||
| So they just faked it after the fact. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Of course it makes sense. | ||
| Saves a lot of money. | ||
| There was no internet back then. | ||
| There was no VHS tapes back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They broadcast something on TV. As far as their eyes and their mind goes, that was the only time people were going to see it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| All they have to do is show it to you once. | ||
| Pull it off. | ||
| Nobody ever imagined you'd be able to pull it up on your phone or two stoners like you and me would be watching on a podcast. | ||
| See if you can find the video of Yuri Gagarin from inside his, what would you call those things? | ||
| Pods. | ||
| Pods. | ||
| What would you call it? | ||
| Yuri Gagarin in space. | ||
| You watch it, you go, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You watch it and you go, what? | ||
| That is fake. | ||
| That is not him. | ||
| Or it's not him in space, rather. | ||
| See, here it is. | ||
| And blast off. | ||
| Here he is. | ||
| He's getting in the bus. | ||
| He's heading to space. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| Yuri, show me. | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| Right. | ||
| See, he's in this thing. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right there! | |
| Back it up! | ||
| That was it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Are we good? | ||
| We're good. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| And take off. | ||
| Look at the lights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see? | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Back up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| Pause it. | ||
| Look at the shadows. | ||
| Shadow to the left, shadow to the right. | ||
| There's fucking lights in front of him! | ||
| They have lights in there! | ||
| He's in this tiny little pod! | ||
| How's it lit up? | ||
| No! | ||
| Maybe they just have... | ||
| No! | ||
| There's no windows! | ||
| Why couldn't they have lights in there, Joe? | ||
| Because they got no room. | ||
| It seems like there's enough room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The panels don't have lights on. | |
| They don't have lights back then. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| These candles. | ||
| There's a campfire. | ||
| There's a campfire in there. | ||
| I saw a few breakdowns of the moon landing, too, that said it would be way, way, way harder to fake it back then than it would have been to actually just do it. | ||
| I've heard that, too. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that, too. | ||
| But I don't think we're talking about faking going to the moon. | ||
| You're not understanding what I'm saying. | ||
| We're talking about faking footage. | ||
| We're not talking about faking going to the moon. | ||
| I think they probably did go to the moon. | ||
| But I would imagine that at least some of the footage you're seeing is horseshit. | ||
| From what I wasn't obviously alive then, it was like a 140 minute live stream. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's hard to fake. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| No, if you just have people in orbit... | ||
| It wouldn't be hard to fake. | ||
| Look, I think it'd be harder to go there than it would be to fake it. | ||
| I think going there, if they did go there, and I think they probably did, was an unbelievably difficult thing to do. | ||
| But, like, faking that they were there? | ||
| How hard would that be? | ||
| Like, after the fact? | ||
| Like, filming footage? | ||
| Or filming footage of them in orbit? | ||
| Film is the part. | ||
| That would have been a mile of film reel. | ||
| Joe, it's really interesting to watch. | ||
| Do you know that all that shit's missing? | ||
| You know all the original footage is missing? | ||
| All of it. | ||
| That's the weirdest fucking thing to me, man. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I know you do, and you're being skeptical, guys. | ||
| I looked it up. | ||
| But look, it's missing. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Not only that, you know what else is missing? | ||
| The telemetry data. | ||
| All the ones and zeros that show the location of the capsule, whatever the fuck it is, on the way. | ||
| I thought, from what I read, they still have that data. | ||
| Just the original paper it was on, or the original magnetic tapes got reused because they needed to. | ||
| Okay, well, why would you say that? | ||
| Why don't you just Google it and find out if that's the case? | ||
| That's what I read. | ||
| I read that the original tapes got written over because they needed the magnetic tape because there was a shortage at some point in time. | ||
| Right, but still. | ||
| But the data is still somewhere else. | ||
| There was a shortage? | ||
| But still, they recorded over the original tapes of the fucking moon landing. | ||
| How much of a shortage of magnetic tape do you have where you're going to record over all of the video from the motherfucking moon landing? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Hey, we got a presidential parade from 76. You want to keep that? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Keep that! | ||
| That's a good one! | ||
| It's like if you were going through your family's VHS tapes, like, what do you want, Picnic from 82? | ||
| Yeah, that was when Mikey threw up! | ||
| Save it! | ||
| Save it! | ||
| Like, they're saving everything, but they record over the fucking moon landing video. | ||
| Yeah, who needs it? | ||
| Let's just fucking record over the first time in human history. | ||
| It is literally the craziest thing in human history to ever record over. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It is the dumbest thing in human history. | ||
| I'm not saying they didn't do it. | ||
| They might have. | ||
| The official story might be legit. | ||
| Casino. | ||
| But it might not be. | ||
| Where do you put your money on the moon landing? | ||
| Because you know what I'm detecting, Joe? | ||
| When we first got to be friends, as I recall, you didn't really believe in the moon landing. | ||
| I didn't believe it at all. | ||
| And then you went through a phase because of the podcast and having a lot of conversations with different people or something happened where you started shifting your ideas and thinking we did go to the moon. | ||
| No, I started shifting my ideas about everything. | ||
| The moon landing is just an example that's an extreme example of a position I took that I think represents... | ||
| There is mystery to that story. | ||
| There's a lot of mystery to that story still to this day. | ||
| There's a bunch of weird shit connected to the moon landing. | ||
| A lot of it. | ||
| And people are like, no there's not! | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| No, there is. | ||
| There is. | ||
| There's a bunch of weird shit connected to it. | ||
| How about the fact that they gave a fucking moon rock to, what was it, the Prime Minister of Holland? | ||
| Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins signed on this plaque and they gave this moon rock to this guy in Holland and it turned out to be petrified wood. | ||
| It was fake. | ||
| There's so much weird shit connected to the moon landing that it makes you go like, wow, the creepy speeches that Neil Armstrong gave 25 years after the moon landing, talking about uncovering hidden truths, truth-protective layers that are, you know, Ooh, great deeds that can be done to those who can remove one of truth's protective layers. | ||
| This is a speech that he gave. | ||
| There's so much weird shit. | ||
| But some people say there's alien relics up there. | ||
| Those people are ridiculous. | ||
| There's no evidence of that. | ||
| But there is evidence that these people are talking really weird about the moon landing. | ||
| Jamie, can you pull up... | ||
| Do you know what Clinton said? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Do you know what Clinton said in his book? | ||
| He wrote a book called My Life. | ||
| And in one of the chapters in My Life, he talks about a conversation that he had with a carpenter when people landed on the moon. | ||
| He was working on a construction site. | ||
| And the guy said, I don't believe it for a second. | ||
| Those television fellers, they could fake anything. | ||
| And he says, back then, I thought the guy was a crank. | ||
| But after eight years in the White House, I was starting to think that maybe he was ahead of his time. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| This is what Bill fucking Clinton wrote in his book, My Life. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Why the fuck would you ever write that if you were the goddamn president of the United States for eight years? | ||
| And you're saying, hey, maybe the guy who thought we didn't go to the moon was right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Might not be right. | ||
| It might be that they faked some footage. | ||
| They did fake some photos. | ||
| There's a photo of Michael Collins, who's on a moonwalk from, like, Gemini 15. And it's not a real photo. | ||
| It's a photo of him from the test runs that they did that's in a warehouse, and they blacked out all the background. | ||
| It's been proven. | ||
| They reversed the image and blacked out the background. | ||
| You could see the two of them. | ||
| If you overlay them, they line up perfectly. | ||
| It's the exact same image. | ||
| So, someone... | ||
| Whether it is an overzealous PR agent for NASA or a journalist at the time. | ||
| Who knows who actually made that photograph? | ||
| But somebody did and tried to pass that photo off as space. | ||
| So there's some deception. | ||
| We know that one is 100%. | ||
| So then you look at the other ones. | ||
| You look at the videos of guys falling down, getting yanked back up and bouncing around like they're on trampolines in some videos where they're hiding behind the lunar rover. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| If you guys tear your suits, you're dead. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You guys are jumping around on the moon like you're having a party up there? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| How come I can't get a fucking regular camera through the radar machine, the x-ray machine at the airport, but you guys can fly through the radiation of space, and that shit comes out, but, well, those cameras were insulated. | ||
| They were a different kind of camera. | ||
| The camera was... | ||
| Not true. | ||
| Hasselbad said it. | ||
| They were the same goddamn cameras. | ||
| It's a regular camera. | ||
| There was no specific protection. | ||
| There was nothing unusual about the protection that those cameras had. | ||
| It's interesting, man. | ||
| You've, like, gone back. | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I think... | ||
| This is the thing, man. | ||
| I'm not taking any position. | ||
| You're agnostic. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Because I don't know anything about space. | ||
| I don't know anything about the physics of space travel. | ||
| I don't know anything about the requirements, the technological requirements, but I do know. | ||
| It's one of the only things that happened between 1969 and 1972, and it's not cheaper, easier, and faster to reproduce today. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's a weird thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's weird, too. | |
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| Because the only time in history people have been more than 400 miles from the Earth's surface was those moon missions. | ||
| All the Apollo missions, man. | ||
| Everything since then, all the space shuttle stuff, inside 400 miles. | ||
| Satellites, you know, or a space station, rather. | ||
| That's always been a weird thing. | ||
| You talk to people about that part, and they'll say, like, we just don't need to go there anymore. | ||
| Maybe we don't. | ||
| Maybe they're right. | ||
| Maybe they're right. | ||
| They might be right. | ||
| We don't know, but it's juicy to think they're not right. | ||
| But it's interesting how rabidly people fight off the notion. | ||
| Here's the other weird shit about it. | ||
| The Nazis were running our space program. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| Operation Paperclip. | ||
| Wernher von Braun was a fucking Nazi. | ||
| They brought all the scientists over, like legit Nazis who would hang Jews in front of their fucking rocket factories in Berlin. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| Guys who wear tattoos from the Holocaust identified Wernher von Braun, talked about him being in there. | ||
| That was the head of NASA. That was the guy who was trying to get us to the moon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, there's a lot of weird shit. | ||
| See, now you're getting deep into it. | ||
| It's the Nazis doing some kind of thing where they're like trying to fake the moon landing? | ||
| Like it's somehow attached to the Nazis? | ||
| I think the Nazis were the best rocket scientists available, right? | ||
| Or one of them, other than the ones that we had here and then the ones the Russians had. | ||
| There was a lot of competition to get the best rocket scientists. | ||
| But some of the best rocket scientists were in Nazi Germany. | ||
| So when Nazi Germany fell, Operation Paperclip took place. | ||
| And in Operation Paperclip, they brought a number of Nazi scientists from Germany secretly to America. | ||
| And one of them they put as the head of fucking NASA! Yeah, this is where it gets really cool. | ||
| Someone's explaining all this to me about how basically the thing is like, okay, you think in World War II that we just rounded up all the Nazis and they just disappeared. | ||
| And it's like, where do you think all the Nazis went? | ||
| What about the ones who are really good at making cool shit? | ||
| Yeah, well, Bayer Aspirin. | ||
| Bayer Aspirin? | ||
| I'm so sorry to ask, Jimmy, but do you mind looking up Bayer Aspirin and Cyclone B? And the Jewish slaves, I think, working for Bayer Aspirin. | ||
| But when you look at a lot of the ideas that the Nazis didn't really go anywhere, they just started corporations and some of the biggest corporations we have right now. | ||
| Do you know why Cyclone B is Cyclone B? Because Zyklon B took the smell out of it. | ||
| Zyklon A was the stuff that had an agent in it that made it smell terrible, so you could smell it. | ||
| So when they used it to gas the people in the concentration camps, they changed it so that it was undetectable. | ||
| So what does it say? | ||
| Jamie's quick with the trigger here today. | ||
| He's getting frustrated with us. | ||
| The Bear Aspen Company has finally apologized for the inhumane acts of its parent firm, including using Jewish slave laborers during the Holocaust. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's all kinds of examples of this. | ||
| And where it gets really weird is like, this is one of the great conspiracy theories. | ||
| I think the Bush family is somehow wrapped up in it. | ||
| That's where it gets weird. | ||
| It ends up getting wrapped into American politics. | ||
| It's like, oh, do you think that the Nazis just became rocket scientists? | ||
| Do you think they just... | ||
| No. | ||
| They became pharmacists pharmacists and they started running companies and corporations and then like they and they're still here And their descendants have lots of money and like to think that they went anywhere is nuts. | ||
| The Nazis didn't really go anywhere They just went deep into hiding They just sank back into the immune system of society like you know, like the way AIDS hides in different parts of your body and They just hid in the shadows. | ||
| And this is one of the reasons people are freaking out about the kind of, like, friendly emergence of some people who are, like, clearly white nationalists, who are just kind of, like, being, like, interestingly accepted and embraced for, you know, let's at least have a rational conversation about how you want to start a white ethnostate, you know, that kind of stuff. | ||
| Who's doing that? | ||
| Well, I mean, isn't this something Richard Spencer talks about? | ||
| Right, but who's taking that guy and talking to him rationally? | ||
| Well, a lot of these people are getting a lot of air time. | ||
| Right, but I think this is a bit of an exaggeration. | ||
| Maybe you're talking about Steve Bannon. | ||
| Steve Bannon got into the White House. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Steve Bannon. | ||
| But has it been proven? | ||
| I mean, it's really easy to call a guy, a white nationalist. | ||
| Has it been proven? | ||
| I don't know much about Steve Bannon. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Quite honestly. | ||
| I think a lot of... | ||
| I think some of these people... | ||
| I think it's like, God, I mean, I'm going to get like a fucking... | ||
| I'm going to get like an avalanche of like, you're a fucking commie! | ||
| You cuck commie. | ||
| But I think like, for example, when you look at Trump's reaction when they were saying, asking about the KKK, and he's like, I'm not going to talk shit about this group. | ||
| I don't really know him. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Like, or the fact that a lot of like... | ||
| Yeah, I think you're paraphrasing. | ||
| I think what he said was a little more acceptable, but still weird. | ||
| Can we look at it? | ||
| It's like a little tiptoeing. | ||
| It's like, if someone's like, hey, KKK, what do you think? | ||
| They suck. | ||
| He also said something about there was people, bad behavior on all sides. | ||
| On all sides. | ||
| And that's one of the white nationalist groups picked up on that and said specifically that Trump didn't criticize them specifically, so this was a good thing. | ||
| The whole thing was very good for them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was like a white nationalist group said that. | ||
| But that could have been just him just not doing a good job Preparing what he's going to say about something and talking off the cuff, which I think he does with most things. | ||
| I think that guy does most of his shit off the cuff. | ||
| You know, he said that. | ||
| And one of the things that he said, like, he wrote that book, The Art of the Deal, he doesn't make plans. | ||
| He just goes to work and gets things done and just work off instincts. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The thing is, like, it's generally like when you think of certain people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Are they a white nationalist? | ||
| Like, when I think of you. | ||
| Joe, are you a white nationalist? | ||
| No. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's just as simple. | ||
| It's simple. | ||
| It's like there's no like, well, you know. | ||
| I'm not even a nationalist. | ||
| I love America, but I'm not a nationalist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the problem is with some, what you don't want, this is one thing I don't want. | ||
| I don't want there to be a blurry thing when people think of me about whether or not I'm a white nationalist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I don't want there to be a like, well, maybe he does have some kind of ideas that are based around the importance of upholding European culture and making sure that we do everything we can to prevent people from having sex with people from other races. | ||
| I don't want there to be any question. | ||
| But like, I have zero problem with Everyone humping everybody whenever they want, mixing the paints and doing whatever. | ||
| There's no question. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Like, I think it's fine. | ||
| Sounds like what a racist would say. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Trying to, like, divert attention away from your racism. | ||
| I see what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| Dude, I see what you're doing, man. | ||
| This is virtue signaling, but race virtue. | ||
| Would you do me a favor? | ||
| I hate to dwell on this one more time, but you please Google. | ||
| I want to make sure I'm right about this, that the Hasselbad cameras from the moon landing weren't insulated in any bizarre way. | ||
| I was looking that up. | ||
| They were different cameras. | ||
| They were made specially for that. | ||
| Well, they were made for this chest thing. | ||
| They also had a special film developed by Kodak. | ||
| Special film. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Because I've read that it was the exact same film. | ||
| No, I just looked at it. | ||
| But who says it? | ||
| Who says it? | ||
| It's a big breakdown. | ||
| I'll have to look it up. | ||
| Petapixel, which is a big... | ||
| See, the problem is there's too many fucking... | ||
| There's too many different people commenting on it that... | ||
| Like me. | ||
| Like, I'm muddying the waters myself by not exactly knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. | ||
| Well, dude, I mean, that's... | ||
| Detailed look at the camera gear behind the historic. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Who wrote this? | ||
| Petapixel. | ||
| This is a pretty well-owned photo book. | ||
| Oh, this is fucking Shill. | ||
| It's a Shill site. | ||
| This is CIA front. | ||
| Look at the shadows, the lighting. | ||
| Why is it so well lit? | ||
| It's in the shadows. | ||
| Goddammit, there's a guy behind it with one of those big reflector booms. | ||
| This is in Nevada. | ||
| There's a tarp back there. | ||
| And if you look real close, you could see gum wrappers. | ||
| Look at all that fake ground. | ||
| Look at how fake that ground looks. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Look at that shitty tinfoil on that spaceship. | ||
| Yeah, super likely. | ||
| That just landed on the moon. | ||
| It's just more fun. | ||
| This is why I abandoned the idea that we didn't go to the moon. | ||
| It's more fun to think that we didn't go to the moon. | ||
| It's more exciting. | ||
| So I have to be careful going that way. | ||
| That's why I changed my opinion on it. | ||
| Because then I started re-looking at it. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck do you know about space travel? | ||
| Almost zero. | ||
| But what do you know about bullshit? | ||
| I know I'm good at bullshit. | ||
| I know about bullshit. | ||
| And when I watched that press conference, the post-Apollo 11 press conference, I'm like, someone's bullshit. | ||
| Something's weird here. | ||
| And I think it's entirely possible that they were forced into accepting some stuff that wasn't real and they kind of knew it. | ||
| But that they probably did go to the moon. | ||
| I just don't understand how this is like back and forth in your head. | ||
| But when I say alien artifacts on the moon, right away, you're like, no. | ||
| I don't think they leave shit behind. | ||
| I think if they're smart, they clean up. | ||
| Have you not seen the... | ||
| Clean up! | ||
| You know, fucking wrecked on the moon. | ||
| There's a division of aliens. | ||
| There's no evidence. | ||
| Look, the face on Mars. | ||
| We've looked at the moon really well. | ||
| Look at that picture of the spaceship that crashed on the moon. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| You know, that shit looks crazy. | ||
| Super real. | ||
| I don't even think they use spaceships. | ||
| I think they get to a certain point and they just travel through dimensions. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I'm thinking that more and more. | ||
| I don't think spaceships exist other than, like, the really crude civilizations like ours. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Relatively. | ||
| Oh, that's super real. | ||
| Which one do you mean? | ||
| Anyone. | ||
| The one that looks like it's most drawn with crayon. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| That's an episode of Star Trek, bro. | ||
| That looks like a ship. | ||
| Look at the eyes of a mountain lion behind it. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Where do you see eyes? | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| This is a fucking volcano. | ||
| Look, we're just isolating. | ||
| Look, that's a fucking topographical map. | ||
| That's a ship. | ||
| You're isolating a tiny little area and you're choosing to look at it. | ||
| That's a ship. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| You could look at anything in Moab, Utah and decide that that's a spaceship. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| This is why they don't want to go to the moon. | ||
| It's the ground! | ||
| It's the fucking ground! | ||
| There's a hole in the ground! | ||
| That's a ship! | ||
| It's not a ship. | ||
| And look at that trail! | ||
| It's like a bobsled trail or something. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| We look for shit on the moon, or in space in general, and a normal thing in space is fucking amazing. | ||
| Like, if we find a microbe on the desert floor, no one gives a shit. | ||
| Oh look, it lives in the sand! | ||
| It's incredible! | ||
| Nobody's gonna pay attention. | ||
| But if you find something in space and you can prove that this thing exists, it was a living organism, a primitive organism that's on Mars. | ||
| So we know that some life existed on Mars. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And then take it another step further. | ||
| If you ran into some dude who was jerking off in your apartment building, you just open the wrong door and some dude's in there jerking off and he's screaming at you and he's an old man, he's got a tank top on. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And you tell your friends, we'd laugh at it. | ||
| But if you found that guy on the moon, just some old dude jerking off on the moon, man! | ||
| Imagine if that's what we found. | ||
| The whole planet would go crazy. | ||
| We realized that we literally are in a simulation. | ||
| And this is how we find out. | ||
| There's a guy on the moon jerking off. | ||
| And he's got boxer shorts on and socks with Crocs. | ||
| And he's just sitting there. | ||
| He's probably knuckles up, right? | ||
| He's sitting there, hunched back, knuckling up on the moon. | ||
| He eats dirt. | ||
| But he's God. | ||
| Mouthfuls of dirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's God. | |
| That's how he gets by. | ||
| That's the creator of the universe. | ||
| He's just gone crazy. | ||
| The creator of the universe went insane. | ||
| Now he just jerks off on the moon. | ||
| No, it's an old man. | ||
| He looks just like an old man. | ||
| It's just like the universe is so infinite that there's an infinite number of possibilities that lives can exist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I explained this the other day, that the infinite is so vast that literally it's entirely possible there is a Darth Vader somewhere. | ||
| Like a real, legit Darth Vader who runs the Empire. | ||
| Like it's a real thing somewhere. | ||
| That's how many possibilities exist. | ||
| So if that's the case, why can't there be a possibility on the moon of an old dude who eats dirt and he's got a tank top and spaghetti stains on it, he's knuckling up on the moon. | ||
| We find him. | ||
| We have to film him. | ||
| Front page of the New York Times. | ||
| They found an old man jerking off on the moon. | ||
| Do you think they tell us? | ||
| If they found an old man jerking off on the moon. | ||
| If that's what they find. | ||
| Space probe lands. | ||
| And then right in front of him is like, fucking look at this. | ||
| Guy's gray ball hair. | ||
| He's squeezing his balls with his left hand. | ||
| I'd like to see the press conference. | ||
| Half his guts hanging out. | ||
| Spaghetti stains. | ||
| How do you get spaghetti stains on his shirt? | ||
| No one knows. | ||
| He's eating dirt on the moon. | ||
| Jerking off on the probes. | ||
| Now what? | ||
| Now what are you gonna do? | ||
| Now what does our civilization do? | ||
| How do we deal with this? | ||
| Well, it's the same thing as like this Elon Musk car in space. | ||
| It's like, you see the image of that car flying through space. | ||
| You're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| Is this really going on or am I in a goddamn movie? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, what's happening here? | ||
| Is this guy really spent a hundred million dollars to shoot a car in a space? | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| He's got a camera on it. | ||
| It's broadcasting images of a mannequin. | ||
| What the fuck is going on man? | ||
| Cascading levels of absurdity. | ||
| That's what's happening. | ||
| We're seeing cascading levels of absurdity and like the more that it the more that Absurdity happens the more normal it seems and that's kind of this is what I've been thinking is like What what the apocalypse really looks like because everybody thinks when you think about the apocalypse when I think about the apocalypse I think of meteors Volcanoes, the classics, you know, the ocean dying, like, just cataclysms, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, really, it's like more, like, absurdity starts avalanching into time to the point where things start happening so quickly that we can't even catch up. | ||
| Like, now we gotta deal with the fact there's a fucking Tesla infinitely flying through space. | ||
| Right, what if it slams into a spaceship that's coming to visit us? | ||
| That would just suck. | ||
| Can you fucking imagine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mad luck. | |
| Could you imagine? | ||
| It was like, the alien overlords are like, they're finally ready, let us visit. | ||
| And they come in at light speed, and then the moment they re-emerge from light speed, BOOM! That would suck, sir. | ||
| The Tesla comes through the windshield, hits him right in the face, takes the head off the Emperor. | ||
| Yeah, it's just fucked. | ||
| Just explosions, just like in Star Wars. | ||
| BOOM! BOOM! Boom! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Laura Dern is at the wheel holding on. | ||
| Turn around! | ||
| That's what happened in the new Star Wars movie. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Remember when they hit warp speed? | ||
| They went right through that one jet or that one spaceship? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's probably going to happen. | ||
| Dude, or it hits a meteor. | ||
| It hits a meteor that wasn't going to hit Earth and then knocks the trajectory so that it does... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, they didn't even think... | ||
| Yeah, there is now... | ||
| Imagine if Elon Musk kills us all with his stupid fucking car flying through space. | ||
| Just his fucking car out there. | ||
| Just grazes an asteroid. | ||
| Clink! | ||
| And it just goes... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right towards LA. Yeah. | ||
| We don't know, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It hits the Laugh Factory. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| That's the center. | ||
| That's the fucking main place it smashes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| Make God laugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the site of 18 semis. | ||
| And it hits the laugh factory. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| No one can hear. | ||
| No one can hear. | ||
| It's so loud, everyone's ears explode. | ||
| If you're nowhere near it, your ears explode. | ||
| If you live in Kansas, your ears explode from the impact. | ||
| You're never hearing ever again. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| No one within a 5,000 mile radius ever hears again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| People in the Bahamas, like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What was that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't hear you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't hear you. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| The earth rings for a million years. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| They said when the earth got hit by that one that hit the Yucatan 65 million years ago, it rang for a million years. | ||
| Just a drone? | ||
| Just like it got cracked like a gong for a million years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| You ever heard the descriptions of how deep they think that thing was in the earth within the first second of impact? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's something bananas like miles deep into the earth within the first second of impact. | ||
| That's how big that thing was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a Manhattan-sized chunk. | |
| Yeah, man, I love that because that's reality. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| That's the funny thing about existing on the planet is because everybody walks around imagining that the world that we're living in is permanent and stable. | ||
| And not just our world, not just society, but your own life. | ||
| Like, people walk around through their own fucking life. | ||
| This is the thing I was thinking about, that terrible, it keeps happening, but the Amtrak train crash? | ||
| Because it's like, when you think about that You're just going to work. | ||
| Here's the thing that disturbed me the most, and it's disturbing me a lot lately. | ||
| This is a real issue. | ||
| People that were on the left were saying that they were happy that it happened, that God had done something to kill these politicians because there was a lot of right-wing... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| GOP people that were on this Amtrak thing. | ||
| Could you imagine just saying that? | ||
| Not only thinking it, but saying it on Twitter. | ||
| You're so confident that you're righteous with your desire to have strangers dead in a horrible fucking train accident. | ||
| Somebody died in that accident. | ||
| And they're like, great, going to heaven. | ||
| Someone's dad's dead. | ||
| Someone's mom, maybe. | ||
| I don't know if it was a male or female that died, but someone's mom, dead. | ||
| Someone's sister, dead. | ||
| And you're like, great. | ||
| Good riddance. | ||
| God had a plan for them. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| Because they're on the other team. | ||
| Yeah, dude, that shit's... | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| That shit's really sad. | ||
| But it never used to be the left. | ||
| That's what's the scariest thing to me. | ||
| The left was never advocating violence. | ||
| They were the exact opposite. | ||
| During the Vietnam War, they were the hippies. | ||
| They were the people that wanted to bring the troops home. | ||
| They're the people that didn't want war. | ||
| They didn't want violence. | ||
| They didn't want hate. | ||
| They denounced hate. | ||
| Now they're like... | ||
| They're like talking about violence being the answer to certain political movements, right? | ||
| Punch a Nazi. | ||
| I saw a term on Reddit that I liked a lot called Liberal Baptist. | ||
| Have you heard of this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So basically the idea is like, You know, like in fundamentalism of any sort, really like the idea is when you're saying that you're religious, you're not really interested in another person's soul or saving another person. | ||
| What you're interested in doing is creating an ethical hierarchy that you can dominate by being at the top of the ethical hierarchy. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So what you're running into with this shit that you're talking about is people who don't really seem so concerned with how society is supposed to be as much as using their refined system that they've come up with, which is like they call being woke or you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like this is crazy. | ||
| It's hard to even keep up with it. | ||
| But they use it to try to dominate the people around them by making you scared to speak your mind. | ||
| One of the guests on my podcast that I get fucking yelled at more than anybody else for having on, Jordan Peterson. | ||
| That really pissed a lot of people off that I had him on my podcast. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they feel they misunderstand him and they think that Jordan Peterson hates transgendered people, I think, or they think that he's like alt-right. | ||
| They think that he's like some kind of alt-right spokesman. | ||
| And the truth of the matter is, I don't fully know all of the spectrum of Jordan Peterson's views on things, because it would take me a very long time to do that. | ||
| I know he's fucking smart. | ||
| I know it was really cool for him to come on my podcast, and I know we had a really great conversation that didn't really talk about that stuff. | ||
| Right, but it didn't fit the narrative that they want. | ||
| The narrative that they want is that he's a hateful person, and that he hates transgender people, and that he's a bigot, and that he's this right-wing, alt-right poster boy. | ||
| But it's not real. | ||
| The problem is people aren't willing to adjust that. | ||
| Once they stand on that stance, once they have that position, that this is, I'm left-wing, this guy's right-wing, he's a pig, he's ruining things, they just make up their mind. | ||
| Let me add one thing to this. | ||
| Imagine this. | ||
| Imagine Jordan Peterson and I don't honestly I don't know but just imagine there is a piece of him That doesn't for whatever reason like it. | ||
| I don't know I'm again. | ||
| I'm not saying this isn't I have no I'm not implying it either I'm just saying imagine fucking Jordan Peterson. | ||
| I don't know I'm trying to think of some offensive Thing that he just imagine he had some piece of him right that was definitely Politically not correct, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That doesn't mean that all the other shit he's saying is invalidated by some piece of him, because people are made up of lots of different pieces. | ||
| Well, that's basically, in a way, I'm not categorizing Jordan Peterson the way you categorize Descartes, but that's what he was saying. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That with great people, they also have... | ||
| What was the word he used? | ||
| Not great sin, but great... | ||
| What was the word he used? | ||
| Do you remember the word? | ||
| The expression he used? | ||
| They've got shit. | ||
| They've got shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great flaws as well. | ||
| Great vices. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| This is, to me, where the big fucking problem is, is that people have lost the ability to be nuanced. | ||
| And that, to me, is where things are really fucked up right now, which is like, we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater. | ||
| And I'm not saying like, oh, let's give a platform to people who have like... | ||
| Hate speech. | ||
| Yeah, but the idea that we have gotten to the point now where just like free-balling and throwing around ideas, just like we've done all over the place here. | ||
| I guarantee you when I look at Twitter, there's going to be at least like five people being like, you fucking cuck piece of shit, only because like I'm throwing around ideas, because my hope is through that process, I'm gonna get closer to the truth and I'm gonna be able to look at myself like what you said about the cock The coke boy. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I liked it, because you're right, and I like what you did, even though it's comedic, it's funny. | ||
| You're right, dude. | ||
| Why am I giving that guy a hard fucking time? | ||
| What is he going to do? | ||
| He can't not be born a coke son. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's like, he can't change his birth. | ||
| He is who he is. | ||
| But meanwhile, what is he doing? | ||
| Is he taking over countries in Africa? | ||
| No, he's making cute shirts and he's banging a hot woman. | ||
| Leave him alone! | ||
| But I like having these kinds of interactions with friends because it helps me adjust. | ||
| Even though I don't have any real animosity for the Koch brother, from that kind of thing I can look at my own fucking pattern and be like, whoa, shit, yeah, that's something to think about because I could be more compassionate there. | ||
| So my point is, What ends up happening and what leads to someone who started off being, you know, who considers themselves part of a group that's trying to stop war, that spawned the hippie movement, and now they're like thankful that a train accident happened. | ||
| That is a result. | ||
| Of gradually shutting down their ability to understand that a human is much more than just one fucking thing. | ||
| Jeff Sessions is not just an anti-marijuana person. | ||
| Jeff Sessions is probably an elf and a sweet elf at that. | ||
| And a person who's got a lot of love in him, and has done a lot of good things for a lot of people. | ||
| But also, he's got the worst fucking concept of what marijuana is, and that sucks. | ||
| But that doesn't invalidate any of the love he's expressed throughout his life. | ||
| And this is unbearable for some people to deal with, because we want a Darth Vader. | ||
| Well, it's because we are inclined to gravitate towards tribalism. | ||
| It is a part of being a human being. | ||
| It's always going to be a part. | ||
| It's the same reason why those Egyptologists were rejecting these ideas from John Anthony West and Robert Shaw because they weren't a part of the tribe. | ||
| These new people coming in with some shit that they didn't figure out on their own. | ||
| There's a thing that people do on whether it's male versus female. | ||
| You're seeing a lot of this when it comes to this Me Too stuff. | ||
| One of the weirdest things that happens is that you start getting this divide where the men are mad at the women and the women are the mad at the men. | ||
| Even people that are non-offenders and non-victims. | ||
| They shore up on teams. | ||
| And yes, it's good that people are being exposed for doing bad things to people, but it's also very dangerous for us to just, men and women, be on opposite teams. | ||
| We're humans. | ||
| We're supposed to be nice to each other. | ||
| It goes back to what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| We don't say that enough. | ||
| I really don't think we say that enough. | ||
| I really think we need to, it needs, it should be reinforced. | ||
| And it sounds like, oh, it's a fucking great thing. | ||
| That's your advice, bro? | ||
| Be nice to each other? | ||
| Yes, it is my advice. | ||
| It's not my only advice. | ||
| I think you should also get your shit together. | ||
| I think you should have some fucking discipline. | ||
| I think you should eat right. | ||
| I think you should do a lot of things. | ||
| I think you should read books. | ||
| I think you should pay attention. | ||
| I think you should try to educate yourself. | ||
| I think you should try to be aware about objectivity and tribalism, aware of the influence. | ||
| But I also think... | ||
| It would be really nice if we all just agreed to be nicer to each other, and just have it as a conversation that the country has, and then ultimately the world has. | ||
| But that list of things you just gave before that, I think that all fits into the category of being kind to yourself. | ||
| And I think that the way you're gonna learn to be nice to other people is by learning how to be kinder to yourself. | ||
| And being kind to yourself means treating your body better. | ||
| You know, that's loving yourself. | ||
| And like, this is actually one of the things This guy Jack Kornfield taught me, which I like a lot because I was talking to him about, man, you know, I want to fucking get in shape and like I feel bad because I want to be more in shape and he's like, okay, but the way you're talking about it, you're hating yourself right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't get in shape because you hate who you are. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Get in shape because you love yourself enough to want to feel better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just saying that changes the way I'm looking at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like you just saying that. | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Don't hate your body. | ||
| Love it by getting it healthy. | ||
| And then by loving your, that's loving yourself. | ||
| It changes the intention around from like, I'm going to destroy my former self and replace it with a better self. | ||
| It's like, I'm going to love this being I am right now. | ||
| And the way I'm going to do that is by, you know what? | ||
| I don't need to have five beers a night. | ||
| You know, I don't need to pour the booze into the thing every night as much as I have been. | ||
| I don't need to smoke cigarettes or whatever the thing is. | ||
| And that attitude of like, I'm not doing this because I hate myself. | ||
| It's just, this is different ways for me to express love into my own world. | ||
| And then from that, it radiates out. | ||
| That's what you did. | ||
| I mean, that's what you do. | ||
| It's like part of what appeals, I think, in you that appeals to people. | ||
| Is that you're sort of radiating this, like, way of being that offers a lot of people a sense of like, oh shit, I could probably do that. | ||
| I could probably do that. | ||
| And it draws people in. | ||
| So this kindness that you're talking about It's contagious. | ||
| Yes, it is contagious. | ||
| And it should be. | ||
| Cultures operate on the momentum of the people that are in them, right? | ||
| Nazi Germany is a good example. | ||
| So is Denmark. | ||
| So is Norway. | ||
| I mean, it's really interesting cultures that are very different from other cultures. | ||
| China is very different from Ethiopia. | ||
| I mean, we vary widely in the way we behave. | ||
| And I think there's a bunch of different styles of being a person. | ||
| And I think the problem is, and this is a problem that I had As a young man, I had an ultra-competitive issue. | ||
| I was competitive with my friends. | ||
| I was competitive with other men. | ||
| I was competitive. | ||
| I would shit on people that I didn't know. | ||
| Look at this fucking loser. | ||
| It's a natural thing that young men go through. | ||
| And it took me until I was probably in my early 20s until I realized how toxic that was. | ||
| And I moved myself out of it. | ||
| And instead started celebrating people around me. | ||
| I changed my vibe. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Because I was... | ||
| Very flawed as a young man, but also super hyper self-critical. | ||
| So my hyper self-critical... | ||
| I always wanted to be a better version of myself, and I wouldn't do it the right way. | ||
| Was it Jack Kornfeld's idea? | ||
| Jack Kornfield. | ||
| Jack Kornfield's idea. | ||
| I didn't do it the right way. | ||
| I didn't do it his way. | ||
| I did it the way that a... | ||
| Barely educated, 21-year-old man who's mostly just read books on combat sports and fighting philosophy and psychology. | ||
| I had a very limited amount of information in my head, but I realized there were some flaws in the way I was thinking. | ||
| And I realized I was spending all this energy getting mad at people that I didn't know, hating people that had things that I didn't have. | ||
| And I really I was sitting around thinking about this once and it was as I was becoming more successful As a martial artist I was realizing that one of the things that was holding me back before was my mind And it wasn't just my physical talent my skills, which also got better But it was also that I had a better way of approaching competition that I had when I was younger because I didn't carry as much anxiety I was I was still anxious but less anxiety Because I was more at peace with being around all these different people. | ||
| Instead of like, fuck this guy, who's this fucking guy? | ||
| I changed my strategy. | ||
| And I changed who I am. | ||
| And then as I got into comedy, I was alleviated by the actual real threat of competition, which greatly relaxed me. | ||
| It was a giant weight lifted off my back. | ||
| But that carried a little bit of that in the early days of stand-up. | ||
| I would look at other comedians like, fuck this guy. | ||
| I get jealous of guys that were doing well, rather, that were successful. | ||
| I got jealous of guys who were funnier than me. | ||
| Like, why is he fucking funnier than me? | ||
| It was a stupid thought process. | ||
| And it took me until I was, you know, like 22, 23. I started realizing, like, I got to snap out of this. | ||
| This is unhealthy. | ||
| I'm wasting this energy where I should be concentrating on positive things. | ||
| So I started supporting my friends. | ||
| I started being a more complimentary person. | ||
| I went out of my way to just be nicer to people. | ||
| Be nicer to people, not because they could do something for me, just to be nice. | ||
| It feels good to be nice. | ||
| And I just slowly cultivated a better philosophy. | ||
| And it took me a while, man. | ||
| It took me until I was in my 20s, until I really, like, as I was, like, getting closer to 30 is when I started really getting good at it with comedy. | ||
| You know, like, bringing comedians on the road, helping people. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Fostering other careers, telling kids that were, like, seven years before, you know, behind me. | ||
| Like, they started out seven years after me. | ||
| I'm seven years ahead of you. | ||
| You could do this. | ||
| Anybody could do this. | ||
| Just do it just do it and if you fuck up learn from that fuck up get better This is this is the thing that you can do. | ||
| You're a funny person, right? | ||
| You just all you have to do is just keep doing this. | ||
| Yeah, and you're gonna you already made it Yeah, you know, this is the so this thing that you're talking about the thing that I that the Ram Dass people teach me which is invaluable and to me and it really inspires you is It's like they talk about Ram Dass's guru, Neem Karoli Baba, and how when he was teaching, he never said, here's what this is going to do for you. | ||
| He was never like, this is how it's going to help you. | ||
| He was always saying, here's how this is going to help the people in your life. | ||
| And so the moment you make that little shift Where working on yourself, as it's called, is not about doing something so that you can fucking have a fucking six-pack and get laid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, bro. | |
| But the moment you start doing... | ||
| With a scarf on. | ||
| And a cowboy ride a horse. | ||
| By yourself, shaving. | ||
| Shaving your stomach. | ||
| But the moment you start fucking doing this stuff... | ||
| Because you know that it's going to directly help the people around you in ways you can't even imagine. | ||
| Like, you don't even know yet. | ||
| Because there's going to be a moment in every single person's life where someone comes up to you who's in a lot of trouble and they need help. | ||
| And it might not be money. | ||
| It might just be something you could say to them. | ||
| It might just be something you need to be lucid in that moment. | ||
| And because you've been like... | ||
| You know not paying attention and you're blurry and you're angry and you're fucking shut down that you're not even gonna see that person right that person is gonna Just be another face in the crowd that you don't even see but that's the whole point is like this practice your practice It ends up helping so many fucking people. | ||
| And if you want to get excited about something, at least for me, it's really kind of difficult for me to get super excited over, I don't know, some kind of thing that's going to give me an extra thing. | ||
| It's way less exciting than to think that, like, shit, man, if I can be more calm... | ||
| And more connected, then the next time I'm around somebody I love and get angry, I'm not going to hurt them because I'm learning how to not react to my own bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| You're getting better at life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's through trial and error. | ||
| I mean, that is a trial, error, honesty. | ||
| And you also have to realize that we're not all coming from the same starting block. | ||
| Some people came from abusive childhoods. | ||
| Some people came from super supportive and loving childhoods. | ||
| Some people were spoiled as children. | ||
| And so they're the people that struggle the most sometimes. | ||
| You've seen kids that grow up in really rich families. | ||
| Parents weren't hands-on. | ||
| They're so disconnected. | ||
| They feel really weird and titled. | ||
| And they have a very distorted version of the future. | ||
| And those people, it's very hard to adjust from a place of bounty to a place of struggle and success and self-realization. | ||
| It's almost more difficult for some of those people. | ||
| That's compassion. | ||
| Me growing up as a person who didn't have money and thinking as when I was a child, my family was on welfare. | ||
| I still can remember, at least I have, an idea of a memory of us drinking powdered milk. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| I remember being really... | ||
| Embarrassed if people would come over our house. | ||
| We had powdered milk. | ||
| We were poor. | ||
| And that memory of being a young man, of being a struggling young comedian, doing a bunch of odd jobs, trying to make it, this real hunger and worry. | ||
| I remember one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life. | ||
| I had this thing fall out. | ||
| It was like some management company was interested in me. | ||
| And they were like a music management company. | ||
| And they were thinking about branching off into comedians. | ||
| This guy was talking to me about it. | ||
| And it was falling apart. | ||
| And I was driving with my girlfriend. | ||
| And I was 21. And the whole thing was so frustrating to me that I started crying. | ||
| Tears rolling. | ||
| And I remember she looked over me. | ||
| She's like, are you crying? | ||
| I was like, yeah, fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she's like, ugh. | ||
| Like, she was, like, mocking the fact that I was crying. | ||
| She couldn't help herself. | ||
| You know, she was same age. | ||
| We were both, like, 21. We're both kids. | ||
| You know, and she just thought it was a bitch move. | ||
| Just be crying about being frustrated about your career. | ||
| And I remember being so embarrassed. | ||
| Like, why did I let that out to her? | ||
| Like, why did I let that out in public? | ||
| This frustration of not knowing where the future lies. | ||
| But that frustration and that hunger of wanting to figure out a way to get out of this cycle of working shitty jobs and figure out how to do something that I actually love doing, like be a comic. | ||
| That burning hunger because you don't have shit. | ||
| That's where it all comes from. | ||
| When you don't know where the fuck you're gonna pay your rent. | ||
| You do not have an escape route. | ||
| There's no net. | ||
| You've got to figure this fucking thing out, man. | ||
| And you're not figuring it out right now. | ||
| Right now it's falling apart. | ||
| Nobody thinks you're any good. | ||
| You can't get booked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, fuck! | |
| You're trying to figure out what's the next job you're going to get so you can feed yourself while you try to figure out this weird thing that nobody could really tell you how to do. | ||
| But going through that struggle, that is everything. | ||
| But people need to hear that you went through it too. | ||
| They need to hear that during the dark days where it doesn't seem like it's ever going to work out. | ||
| Are you alive? | ||
| Can you see? | ||
| Can you talk? | ||
| Can you think? | ||
| Get better. | ||
| Get better. | ||
| Get better at whatever you're doing. | ||
| Just get better. | ||
| So you suck at it now. | ||
| Everybody sucks at everything when they first start. | ||
| That's the whole thing about getting good at something. | ||
| But if you love it and you're really honest, don't lie to yourself. | ||
| Don't lie to yourself. | ||
| Look at it for what it is. | ||
| Look at it for what it is and work on it. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Whether it's writing books or making music or composing computer code. | ||
| Whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| If you suck at it. | ||
| Get better. | ||
| But look at it for what it is. | ||
| Look at it for really what it is. | ||
| And that's one of our biggest problems. | ||
| One of our biggest problems is that people have a really hard time looking at things for what they are if they're not flattering. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They want to think, oh, fuck this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck this guy. | |
| This guy's a pussy. | ||
| No, that guy shot a fucking rocket into space with a car on it. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And he did it with his mind. | ||
| He figured out how to make these calculations. | ||
| He figured out how to make enough money so he could shoot a car in a space. | ||
| If you don't respect that... | ||
| He's digging tunnels under LA. They're letting him dig tunnels. | ||
| There's an earthquake-ridden area, and this motherfucker's digging holes in the ground. | ||
| We're worried about fracking, but we're like, Elon Musk's got it. | ||
| He says it's not going to cause an earthquake. | ||
| It's not going to cause an earthquake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're worried about people fracking. | ||
| We're not worried about Elon Musk turning our fucking city into Swiss cheese. | ||
| Yeah, but you know, man, the thing is that the guy you're making, you're like creating an image of, the guy's like, fuck Elon Musk or that guy, is real. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's me when I was 21. Right, and you felt like fucking queer and you felt like shit. | ||
| That's the important thing. | ||
| That's all coming from feeling like shit. | ||
| And when you get around somebody who's acting like that, if you've looked into yourself enough to see where you feel like shit, and then you get around somebody and you realize like, oh, this person who's like being a complete fucking cunt to me right now feels like shit. | ||
| And this is the... | ||
| I went to see the Dalai Lama in Anaheim. | ||
| Dude, you're partying with Ram Dass, the Dalai Lama. | ||
| Well, this was like not partying with a... | ||
| I would love to party with a fucking Dalai Lama. | ||
| I really might nubify my cock if I got a chance to party with a Dalai Lama. | ||
| In space forever? | ||
| It's another thing to talk about. | ||
| I'd love to be around that guy, man. | ||
| Just because when he was so far down in this massive place, this little guy, you could feel the energy rushing off of this guy into the room. | ||
| Were you tripping? | ||
| But anyway, the thing that he said that has stuck with me, is he's like... | ||
| One of the things he says is so simple, and it reminds me of what you're saying now, is he said, you can always be kinder. | ||
| And then the other thing he said, and it sounds so simple, but really people don't realize that, you can always be kinder in any moment. | ||
| And then the other thing he said is, if someone's being unkind to you, It's not them being unkind to you. | ||
| It's an echo, is what he said. | ||
| Like, it's literally an echo of the unkindness, people being cruel to them throughout their lives, and that shit is bouncing off of them like sound. | ||
| It's bouncing onto you. | ||
| And so, when you get around someone who's, like, being a shit, what you're really experiencing is a lot of sorrow from a lot of places you don't know. | ||
| And that doesn't mean You're supposed to lay back and let them spit on you or be a shithead to you or whatever, but it also helps you find a little bit of compassion. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| Just so you can be with that person and let them be what they are without adding more suffering to it, which only compounds the situation. | ||
| Well, you have to learn how people are responding to that behavior, too, and adjust accordingly. | ||
| Do the hard work and look at yourself. | ||
| And when people get super self-indulgent, one of the things they do is they don't think about how other people are experiencing them. | ||
| Like, if you're around people like, Fucking worst luck. | ||
| Always fucking happens to me. | ||
| It's the same thing every day. | ||
| I'm at work. | ||
| Fucking boss knows it. | ||
| It wasn't Mike that put in the work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I put fucking 65-70% of the work in. | |
| That's it. | ||
| Me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm bitter. | |
| Why did she leave? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did she leave? | |
| Yeah, those people are gross. | ||
| You're like, I gotta go, man. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| When people start, I go, what should I do? | ||
| What is the worst thing people do to you? | ||
| What should I do? | ||
| What do you think I should do, man? | ||
| I need some advice. | ||
| I need some advice. | ||
| Hey, hey, hey, hey! | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| That's not what's going on. | ||
| You want me to talk about you. | ||
| You're making me focus on you 100%. | ||
| You're not asking me for help. | ||
| You're not doing a goddamn thing for yourself. | ||
| You're not helping yourself at all. | ||
| What you're doing is making me concentrate on you. | ||
| Hey, bro, I'm fucking really feeling depressed right now. | ||
| Well, do something about it! | ||
| I'm not saying don't reach out to your friends, but I'm saying you got to do something too, man. | ||
| You can't just always talk about your problems. | ||
| Man, I fucking talk about my problems. | ||
| You don't even want to hear them. | ||
| Because that's all you talk about! | ||
| Is your whole life a problem? | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| Maybe that's the way you're thinking. | ||
| Maybe that's the way you're behaving. | ||
| Mapped out your life. | ||
| I'm not saying that you shouldn't be there for your friends when issues arise. | ||
| Certainly, all of our friends are super supportive. | ||
| We've all gone through some weird shit in our lives. | ||
| We've all been super supportive. | ||
| But if I'm super supportive to you, I know you're super supportive to yourself. | ||
| I know you're working on yourself, too. | ||
| You're not just relying on me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, bro, what should I do today? | |
| What should I do tomorrow? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you could sit down here with me for a few hours and map out my future, I would really appreciate it, man. | |
| Because it's just fucking hard out there for me, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got it easy, Duncan. | |
| This is bullshit, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're fucking, you know, man, you got a good head start. | |
| You're a white guy from North Carolina. | ||
| Fuck you, dude. | ||
| That's what it is, man. | ||
| They just come up with these toxic excuses for why their life is shit without ever looking inward. | ||
| And they want you to admit your privilege and admit your fucking advantages, bro. | ||
| How about you, Duncan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about you fucking admit it was easier for you than it is for me? | |
| My dad's an asshole! | ||
| But the question is, because I know exactly what you're talking about, and I know that person, and I know what that is. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| But when I run into that... | ||
| Is there's a part of me that and I like what I know sometimes you just have to put someone You have to like avoid their presence. | ||
| I thought you're gonna say put them on blast I thought you were going not put them on blast No, because it doesn't work. | ||
| That doesn't work, but maybe it does for you. | ||
| I don't know but doesn't but there's a they just get mad at you But right so but there is a thing of like I this is where I might just be fucking naive or crazy Or one took over the line sweet, but I believe That with any body that you're around, | ||
| if you've cultivated love, like if you can really love them, even in the midst of that cyclone of bullshit that you're talking about, if you could look through the cyclone into their soul, like into what they are that's love and see that and love it, then the cyclone will start calming down a little bit right in front of you. | ||
| I think it's possible. | ||
| I think it's possible that if, and this is why I think it's fucking worth figuring out a way To cultivate this shit that you're talking about, so that when you get around a turd cyclone like that, you become potentially the person who, | ||
| not by giving them money or giving them advice, but just by giving them love and letting them be this cyclone of shit for a second and loving it for real, You might be the thing that, just like Musk's fucking Tesla hits the meteor and sends it into Earth, you might be the thing that dings the meteor of their life and prevents the catastrophe that they were spinning towards. | ||
| It's entirely possible. | ||
| But it's also entirely possible that, like most things in life, you need a lot of various elements. | ||
| You don't just need one person that you cling to. | ||
| You need to look at humanity as a whole. | ||
| You need to seek inspiration in the great work of others. | ||
| And you need to look at yourself in a way that you think maybe, perhaps, other people look at you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that is something that a lot of people don't do. | ||
| And that lack of introspection and self-critical thinking is one of the reasons why people don't change. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because they don't adjust. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you're not the guy you were 10 years ago. | ||
| I've known you for a long time. | ||
| You're a better version. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Because you've adjusted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, not that you were bad then. | ||
| I loved you back then. | ||
| You were awesome. | ||
| But you're more together, more philosophical, more at ease with yourself person than you were 10, 15 years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like when we were living together. | ||
| We lived together when you were at a down spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're a totally different human now. | ||
| Yeah, that is cool. | ||
| Yeah, and that's the thing, man, because you were like, in those moments when you were like, when we're riding in my fucking Mini Cooper and I'm trying to listen to Elliot Smith and you know I'm depressed, and you're like, dude, what are you listening to? | ||
| What the fuck are you listening to? | ||
| I'll never forget that. | ||
| And I'll tell you, man, in my head, I'm like, what a dick. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I was definitely being a dick. | ||
| Yeah, but what that was, was like, what you were doing is helping me, like, get out of that vibration that I was in. | ||
| You were wallowing in it. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And I needed, and I didn't, in those moments when you were doing that shit, I was, like, in my head resisting, and I'm like, you know, but that's the other thing. | ||
| When you decide to help somebody in that way, you can't expect it's going to happen, their shift or change is going to happen instantaneously. | ||
| But because of that, I still, to this day, when I put on Elliott Smith, I think of that moment, man. | ||
| I still hear your voice in my head going, Duncan, what are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because... | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because, and I'll tell you why, man, because sometimes you can listen to Elliot Smith and not be wallowing, and it's just really pretty and sweet, but don't listen to that shit if you're wallowing, because it's like, it's only... | ||
| Don't feed the wallow. | ||
| Don't feed the wallow. | ||
| Yeah, don't feed that wallowing spirit inside of you. | ||
| You don't need to feel that. | ||
| Everybody experiences loss and everybody experiences bad moments. | ||
| You're just going to. | ||
| You're never going to get life perfect, right? | ||
| So during these bad moments, what you've got to realize is just accept it, feel it, get through it. | ||
| Realize it's a journey that you're going to get through, but realize that there's better ways to navigate it than some. | ||
| And some ways are really bad. | ||
| Heroin's a really bad way to navigate it. | ||
| You start doing heroin and start fucking listening to Elliot Smith and go holding a knife over your stomach in the middle of your fucking bedroom going, Fuck it, man! | ||
| Fuck it, man! | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| Well, you can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| But it's not the healthiest way to go that's going to give people around you and you yourself the most joy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's selfish. | |
| It's not necessarily selfish. | ||
| It's self-indulgent, for sure. | ||
| I don't necessarily think it's selfish. | ||
| I think it's a pattern of behavior that you can get trapped in. | ||
| And I think we've all been in bad situations where you just feel like shit. | ||
| You get in a pattern of behavior and you feel trapped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| But you've got to learn from other people who have been through those patterns and learn from your own experiences getting through patterns. | ||
| Yeah, because you will. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| It's like when you get around someone who's like a teacher figure like you, or you get around someone who's really doing it from love and not trying to fucking fuck with you, because that can happen too. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| Or be superior to you or whatever. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Put you down. | ||
| Yeah, put you down. | ||
| When you get around somebody who's doing it out of love, there is such a massive difference in the way that feels. | ||
| And what they do quite often, or what a lot of my teachers do, which is really fucking cool, because in the same way you've seen me shift, a lot of my teachers from the Ram Dass camp, like in the beginning, When I was actively trying to offend them, because that was what I would try to do. | ||
| Just be funny? | ||
| Not be funny, because I was thinking, if I can offend these people about the practice they're teaching me, and they're like, hey, you can't say that, or that's blasphemy, or anything like that, then I know to get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Because it's like, you know what I mean? | ||
| So you were calculated? | ||
| Fuck yeah, I was calculated. | ||
| With one of my teachers, Ragu, I would like... | ||
| His name's Ragu, like the spaghetti sauce? | ||
| Well, it means a different thing in the... | ||
| The fuck it does. | ||
| Change your name, bro. | ||
| No, it means... | ||
| Change it. | ||
| My name's Spaghetti-O's, but listen, bro, don't think about it like that. | ||
| My master spaghettios taught me. | ||
| What the fuck did you say? | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| The sauce is tangy. | ||
| The same way you're doing that with him, I would try to do that with their teachers. | ||
| And I would try to do that, too, because I was like, fuck it. | ||
| If they get mad at me... | ||
| Then I know, if there's a thing where I don't like blasphemy, I don't like the idea I can blaspheme, man, that freaks me the fuck out. | ||
| But it was like, with Neiman Crowley Baba, you know, they tell me these stories, and I'd be like, you know, I just don't, I just don't really believe that, man. | ||
| Like, I don't know if it's, I don't know if I believe that shit. | ||
| And Raghu, I still remember saying that, walking in this, at the retreat with him in Hawaii, and he gets a big smile on his face. | ||
| He's like, yeah! | ||
| Yeah, don't blame me for not believing it. | ||
| It's like, whoa, cool, man! | ||
| This is fucking cool! | ||
| And like, it's that, that's the, so when you get around a real teacher, what I'm saying is, the place that you're at, they let you be there, but they're not like, in the sense that they're letting you do the pattern that you're in, but by allowing that to happen in its own way, and then adding to it the intention of like, I think I'm going to help you grow here. | ||
| That's when you really start changing. | ||
| Not when someone's like, when you were in the car and listen to Elliot Smith, and you were fucking recognizing in me a lot of sadness and a lot of fucked up-ness, you weren't scolding me, dude. | ||
| You were giving me love, but the way you were giving me love Was by making fun of me in this really sweet way. | ||
| And it worked! | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| That's what a real teacher does. | ||
| And that's why it's like, you know, to learn how to get to that spot is one of the most important things you could do. | ||
| Well, it's also, from a selfish standpoint, when you have a good friend that is all of a sudden looking for a place to live, and then they could live with you, it's cool, it's fun, but it also feels really good to help somebody, and to help somebody that you love and you really care about. | ||
| So, I mean, I don't even think I thought about it for three seconds. | ||
| When you called me up and you were in a hotel room, I go, dude, come live with me. | ||
| It was like instantly, it was like, hey, Duncan's living with me. | ||
| Instantly, I was like, you got a place to live, dude. | ||
| You never have to worry about having a place to live. | ||
| I wanted you to, you know, and also you were, I've had a lot of people that have offered the tank to. | ||
| Anytime you want, come on by, you can use the tank. | ||
| You were the only guy who used it on a regular basis. | ||
| Like when Tate lived with me, he didn't touch that fucking crazy thing. | ||
| He's like, fuck this. | ||
| He might have got in there once. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But that was not his style at the time. | ||
| But you were in there all the time. | ||
| And you were writing journals and shit when you get out of there. | ||
| We would talk about it. | ||
| You would talk about your inner voyage. | ||
| When you'd go in that tank and just think about your life and what you're doing and what happened and what went wrong and where you're headed to. | ||
| Just, look, man, the fucking stress of trying to be a professional comic, it fucks you. | ||
| You know how I know it fucks you? | ||
| Because it fucks me every two years. | ||
| Every two years when I abandon my act and put out a special and then have to write a whole new one and I'm goddamn sweating just thinking about it right now. | ||
| Like, Tom Segura's going through that right now. | ||
| Ari's going through that right now. | ||
| That's the shedding of all you've got. | ||
| And then you've got to start from scratch. | ||
| It's fucking terrifying again. | ||
| It's the thing that makes you keep growing. | ||
| It's the thing that makes you keep growing. | ||
| But when you haven't had any success, like when you were in the beginning of your career and it just hadn't happened yet, you don't really believe it can happen. | ||
| But once you do have it happen, then you go, oh, I see. | ||
| You just got to get through that. | ||
| But dude, the thing you're talking about with the comedy, it applies to everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Because what you're talking about, someone was telling me, if a snake... | ||
| Doesn't successfully shed its skin, it dies. | ||
| So a person is the same way in the sense that many of us cling to ways that we were thinking that's who we still are when we're not. | ||
| And you have to learn what parts of yourself to let go of. | ||
| And you have to have the guts to fucking let go of it. | ||
| That is one of the craziest things when you really have a thing that you've become attached to. | ||
| For a lot of people, it's a relationship that sucks. | ||
| You end up in a bad relationship, bad job. | ||
| You end up just attached to some version of yourself that you just aren't anymore. | ||
| That's not who you are. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You gotta let go of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta let go of it. | |
| And letting go of it is death. | ||
| It's a form of death. | ||
| It feels like death. | ||
| And so people want to avoid it. | ||
| And what ends up happening is you run into people who are just fucking don't even realize that they're valets. | ||
| They're covered in bags from all these previous, they're hoarders, and they won't let go of all these things, all these ways they used to be. | ||
| So that's the, what I've learned is that through this act of like scanning the self or looking into the self, you'll find places where you're stuck. | ||
| Where you're stuck. | ||
| Like, for example, you were saying, oh, I get jealous. | ||
| I was getting jealous of these people. | ||
| I was getting jealous. | ||
| Well, you were stuck there. | ||
| That was the place. | ||
| It wasn't just jealous. | ||
| It was worse than that. | ||
| It was toxic. | ||
| I didn't like them. | ||
| I was mad at them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You were stuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you were attached. | ||
| And you were like, and that attachment was making you Unhappy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Miserable. | |
| Heavy. | ||
| Heavy. | ||
| The feeling is literally... | ||
| Not just that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weak. | |
| Weak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I felt weak. | |
| That was what really bothered me. | ||
| Because all the energy that's being put... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Weak in my judgment of myself. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not weak like tired, like didn't have the energy. | ||
| Weak like, oh, you bitch. | ||
| You bitch. | ||
| You're just jealous. | ||
| You're jealous. | ||
| That's you? | ||
| That's you now? | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| And these are like... | ||
| You know like when... | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| When you get a really bad muscle spasm, and then you go to a masseuse, and that moment when the thing finally gives way, and you're like, oh my... | ||
| That place in your back that hurts so bad suddenly just feels like your back again, and you're like, ah... | ||
| Well, the same thing happens with suffering. | ||
| So, the suffering in a lot of people's lives, the repeating suffering, that's a karmic muscle spasm. | ||
| And it's like, until you literally push into it, and the same way you get rid of a muscle spasm, it fucking hurts, man! | ||
| Until you, like, get the blood flow going back into that place and really fucking go deep into, why do I get jealous? | ||
| You know, for me, the thing I just figured out That's haunted me is just jealousy in relationships. | ||
| It's like, why do I do this? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is just like you're saying. | ||
| It's weak. | ||
| It's not a good look. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| And it's indulgent. | ||
| Like, while you're doing it, you realize it's gross. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And you keep doing it. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And you're like, oh my god, I'm being a bitch and I'm gonna keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| You fucking texted him first! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That. | |
| It's so humiliating and so embarrassing and so fucked up and so brutal to the person you're with. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sad. | |
| So, like, that thing... | ||
| I've figured... | ||
| I've figured how to let... | ||
| I want to say let it go. | ||
| It's the illusion... | ||
| I'm not putting out there that you can conquer, you know, eternally parts of your identity or whatever, but I've been able to let that go. | ||
| And that feeling of really being able to let it go... | ||
| Man, that's, to me, that's one of those monumental things, when you can start dropping these things. | ||
| And it's different for everybody. | ||
| Everybody's got their own fucking muscle spasm. | ||
| But you'll know what it is. | ||
| You know what any people listening to it right now, you know what it fucking is. | ||
| We are incredibly susceptible to patterns. | ||
| Incredibly susceptible. | ||
| And if you have a pattern of weakness and you accept it over and over again, it can define you. | ||
| And you have to be really careful of that. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| But what's the beauty of it, though, is the very fucking thing that's hurting you like that, it's also simultaneously the thing that's like your... | ||
| It's your fuel for improvement. | ||
| Yeah, it's like you're turning your trap. | ||
| This is such a cheesy thing that I thought. | ||
| And I'm never going to make it a blog post or anything, so forgive me. | ||
| But I did think about this. | ||
| It's turning your trap into a trampoline. | ||
| It's like you find this fucking... | ||
| Are you of a self-help speaker? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Honey, I am! | |
| I can see you right now in a theater with a big screen behind you. | ||
| It's turning your trap into a trampoline! | ||
| Now give me your money! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| I know, that's why I deserve to be made fun of for it and I'm not gonna ever use that in a book or in a blog post or anything but I really do like the concept of like finding the place you're stuck and realizing that that's not a place you should avert your eyes from but in fact more than likely that's a door. | ||
| That's a fucking door and you can go through that door into a whole new existence where you're no longer horrified by yourself and that is really exciting. | ||
| It's a really fucking wonderful moment. | ||
| You know, not just in comedy, but I think in anything. | ||
| It's always a powerful thing to improve. | ||
| That's one of the things that's good about doing things that you're not good at. | ||
| Is that you get the opportunity to see what happens when you work at something and then you improve. | ||
| And I think that applies to everything. | ||
| I think if you learn how to play a game and get really good at a game, I think that figuring things out in your mind how to get good at this game applies to life. | ||
| You could get caught up in a game where like chess or whatever it is becomes your whole life and then it's almost too much, right? | ||
| But you could also use things like chess or a lot of different things. | ||
| People have a heavy prejudice against video games, but it's been absolutely proven that video games can enhance many aspects of the way people think and problem solve. | ||
| It's been proven. | ||
| I mean, there's studies that people are doing on it, but we associate video games with wasting time, slacking off, being a loser. | ||
| Meanwhile, Jamie, what the fuck were you just telling me the other day about how much money these guys make when they're playing Twitch? | ||
| Thousands of dollars a day, if not hundreds of thousands a month. | ||
| Hundreds of thousands of dollars a month playing fucking video games. | ||
| How is being a lawyer better than that, you fucking asshole? | ||
| Is it about making money? | ||
| What is it about? | ||
| Because these Twitch guys got you beat, fuckface. | ||
| You're out there just making people get divorced and raking in the cash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy's shooting aliens on Twitch, and he's making way more! | |
| You're a loser! | ||
| He's flying private! | ||
| He's got Gucci shoes! | ||
| He's got a diamond-crusted Rolex, and he plays video games. | ||
| Do you understand how crazy that is? | ||
| You're over there working on family law. | ||
| Do you watch Twitch? | ||
| No. | ||
| See, that's the thing, man. | ||
| I'm a grown man. | ||
| I have things to do, bro. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The hypocrisy! | ||
| I play a lot of games, man. | ||
| I only have so much time. | ||
| I play pool. | ||
| I shoot archery. | ||
| I do jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Dude, first of all, you gotta watch Twitch just for the sake of the podcast. | ||
| I definitely don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, though. | |
| Just so you know for the podcast. | ||
| You don't have to, but you need to look so that you can see how, one, how it sounds when you hear about it. | ||
| I remember when I first heard about it. | ||
| I'm like, that, there's no... | ||
| I've seen Mighty Mouse do it. | ||
| It's really entertaining. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's really funny. | ||
| And it's like when you're looking at like the community that forms around these people and like, then you realize like, man, there really is something really soothing and addictive about watching this. | ||
| Dude, have you seen that Twitch guy who trolls people in, uh, what's it called? | ||
| MySpace? | ||
| What's that world where... | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| It's like... | ||
| Not VRChat. | ||
| This dude goes into different video games, playing a character, and trolls people inside the games, and it's some of the funniest fucking shit you've ever seen. | ||
| Like, he goes into... | ||
| What's Second Life? | ||
| He goes into Second Life, somehow makes it into an enclave of people playing the part of bikers in there, and he goes in there, and they're acting like bikers, so they're like, how'd you get in here? | ||
| And he's like, I don't know. | ||
| I'm just, you know, I'm here. | ||
| He has this very calm voice. | ||
| They're like, you need to get out of here. | ||
| And he's like, you know, I'll come. | ||
| I'm going to go, but I'll be back tomorrow. | ||
| And they're like, no, you will not be back here tomorrow. | ||
| You are not coming back. | ||
| This is our place. | ||
| Are you allowed to show that? | ||
| Can you show that? | ||
| I was looking up Second Life isn't allowed on Twitch for some reason. | ||
| But this, it's a streamer. | ||
| Look up Second Life. | ||
| This is our place. | ||
| I don't know if you'll even be able to find it. | ||
| This is our place. | ||
| Dude, it is the funniest shit ever. | ||
| So this is a video that he recorded and then he put it online so people can watch it? | ||
| Yeah, and he trolls shit tons of people this way, man. | ||
| If you find it, dude... | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I found a video that says Extreme Angry Rager for hilarious trolling. | ||
| Is that probably it? | ||
| Second Life Griefing is what it says. | ||
| Can I see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll know what it is right away. | ||
| No, that's him. | ||
| I think it's probably him, but go back and look up. | ||
| This is our place, Biker Second Life Troll. | ||
| Maybe someone on Twitter can help us find it, because it's like a pretty famous troll video. | ||
| But it's like the funniest fucking shit, man. | ||
| Like, I've watched it a million times. | ||
| I'm looking on Twitter right now to see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was there ever trolling before the internet? | |
| Is this it? | ||
| Dude, I think that's it, man. | ||
| Second Life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| It's one of them... | ||
| What's the one... | ||
| So she's talking? | ||
| Yeah, but this is a different one. | ||
| What's the one in the... | ||
| Yeah, that's his second life. | ||
| Hold on, what's that one? | ||
| Are you gonna come to a fucking MC? Motorcycle Club? | ||
| He's using the abbreviation. | ||
| Let me tell you something, Story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am famous. | |
| I have a reputation that precedes me. | ||
| You can go anywhere, and you can mention my name, and they will tell you exactly who I am. | ||
| I am famous. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because haters make me famous, and people that can't be like me... | ||
| That's not him. | ||
| This is amazing, though. | ||
| What's the one in the lower, in the first suggestion right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was hooked. | |
| I was hooked already. | ||
| Anyway, the point is, dude, watching video games is a fucking blast. | ||
| I wish I could find... | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Look, watching games is a blast. | ||
| I like watching... | ||
| That's that guy, the... | ||
| Doctor Disrespect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a lot of things that's interesting. | ||
| I like watching people play pool. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I don't even play golf, and I like watching people play golf. | ||
| Because they're talking, what should I do? | ||
| What should I do? | ||
| You think he's going to make it? | ||
| I think he's going to fuck up. | ||
| Look at him, he's sweating. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| The thing about video games is you can do it from the first person. | ||
| You can look at it from their perspective. | ||
| Yeah, and it's fucking crazy to watch, man. | ||
| I went to the BlizzCon. | ||
| You know, Blizzard has BlizzCon. | ||
| I was lucky enough to get in there, man, and I got to watch eSports. | ||
| I got to watch people playing StarCraft in an auditorium, and it was awesome. | ||
| And the energy in there was so fucking intense. | ||
| How many people were there? | ||
| I don't know, hundreds, hundreds. | ||
| It was like shit-tons, man. | ||
| These were like famous players, dude. | ||
| These are like world-renowned Korean fucking StarCraft masters. | ||
| And if you know anything about StarCraft and you see what they're doing, it's incredible. | ||
| And it's just like, you know, the applause, the fucking, like, people are like, yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Well, it's super complex. | ||
| It's so fun to watch. | ||
| But that's what I'm talking about with these people that have these prejudices about video games. | ||
| Video games, especially like StarCraft, they are super complex. | ||
| They require multi-level thinking. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can't just play StarCraft. | ||
| Not against those guys. | ||
| I mean, I've seen you play it before, too, and I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| You're moving shit around. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| Like, oh, I'm setting this up, and this is for later. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| I tried to return to it. | ||
| Talk about, like... | ||
| Feeling old. | ||
| Go back to try to play StarCraft after a couple of expansions have come out, and you're just like, I can't... | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| You have to learn. | ||
| You don't have that kind of time. | ||
| I don't have that kind of time to, like, learn how to do fucking Zerg rushes again. | ||
| See, I liked... | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| This is at, like, the O2 Arena, it looks like. | ||
| Opening ceremonies in Seoul for 2014 League of Legends. | ||
| Oh my god, it's a football stadium. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a giant soccer stadium. | ||
| So badass. | ||
| Oh my god, it's filled with people. | ||
| That's like 50,000 people there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's so big in Korea, huh? | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Look at all those people. | ||
| Look at the size of the place, too. | ||
| Why hasn't that caught on like that here? | ||
| There's an Overwatch League they just started this week or this month that's in Burbank at like the old Johnny Carson Theater. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Dude, when I was addicted to Quake, I would watch demos all the time from this guy named Thresh. | ||
| See if you could find Thresh Quake. | ||
| There was this kid... | ||
| God, I wish I remember his name. | ||
| I think his last name was Fong. | ||
| Dennis Fong. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Dennis Fong. | ||
| He was the best. | ||
| And while he was playing before he retired, he was the best. | ||
| He was so good that people would watch his demos and try to emulate his moves. | ||
| And what he would do is he would figure out a map absolutely perfectly. | ||
| So he'd have these one-on-one duels. | ||
| And this is another thing that's surprisingly complex, is playing duels. | ||
| This is Quake 1 that we're looking at here. | ||
| Oh, no, it's not. | ||
| It looks like Quake 3. Hold on. | ||
| It's a Quake 1 tournament. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, is it a new version of it? | ||
| Oh, no, it's definitely Quake 1. Okay. | ||
| So, because you see the shotgun shells and shit like that, there's all different stuff. | ||
| There's rocket launchers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This didn't have a rail gun. | ||
| The rail gun changed a lot of shit in Quake 2. But the point being that you would have these strategies, because you had a map, and it would all be about controlling the respawns. | ||
| So all of the items, whether it's a rocket launcher or a shotgun or whatever the fuck it is that you're picking up, And the ammo, all of it would respawn as well as the health. | ||
| So it was all about controlling where the respawn is, keeping your health up really high, and then making sure your opponent never gets any good weapons. | ||
| And so they would, it was really strategic, and they'd chase each other around the map. | ||
| This one dude just fucked everybody up. | ||
| I mean, and he lost a couple times too when he was, you know, starting out, but he eventually got to a point where he was like the Michael, like right there, boom, he sees that guy, boom, jacks him. | ||
| He knows where you're going. | ||
| He's firing rockets down hallways. | ||
| He anticipates you're going to be going down. | ||
| And when you would watch these guys play, you see like right there, that guy was there and he's just waiting for him. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And he just killed that dude. | ||
| And I would watch these guys in these demos and try to learn from like how they were maneuvering. | ||
| There's another guy called Fatality. | ||
| He was really good at it. | ||
| And there was different games that guys would play, too. | ||
| There was this game, and some guys went over to Unreal, and they played Unreal Tournament. | ||
| I remember Unreal. | ||
| He's got the armor. | ||
| Every time it respawns, he's going to be running back there to get that armor. | ||
| Running back there to get the shotgun shells, making sure that his opponent doesn't have a rocket, and you just keep killing him. | ||
| And then when he respawns, you chase him down, kill him again, or weaken him. | ||
| These are fucking really complex, multi-level games. | ||
| You have to think in advance, and you have to plan things out, and guys would even have timed things that they would put in a program so that it would show on their screen. | ||
| Rocket launcher respawning in 10 seconds, 9, 8, and then run after. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's crazy how when this came out, it was so badass. | ||
| And now it looks so ancient. | ||
| It looks weird. | ||
| But go to Quake... | ||
| What is the Quake 4 one? | ||
| What is the new Quake one? | ||
| Quake Tournament? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Quake Champions? | ||
| I think it's called Quake Champions. | ||
| There's one you can play online now. | ||
| I think it's called Quake Champions. | ||
| Oh, it came out last year? | ||
| Now watch this shit. | ||
| Arena. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Quake Champions Arena. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| But look at the fucking graphics now. | ||
| But it's the same kind of concept. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So, you know, this guy is playing a one-on-one against someone, and there's these crazy maps. | ||
| This looks badass. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| When was the last time you played Quake? | ||
| Forever, dude. | ||
| I'm terrified. | ||
| You gotta get back in there. | ||
| No! | ||
| Daddy's got problems. | ||
| Ha ha! | ||
| I'm too crazy, dude. | ||
| I'm telling you, I can't do this. | ||
| I used to play this shit for eight, ten hours a day. | ||
| I told you I got a T1 line installed in my fucking house. | ||
| The way you're looking at it is so fucking funny, dude. | ||
| Look how I just nailed him with a railgun. | ||
| Yeah, I had a real problem. | ||
| So, I prefer archery and a bunch of other things that I get addicted to, but I could easily get addicted to this again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Easily. | |
| It is so fun. | ||
| It looks super fun. | ||
| I suck at shooters, though. | ||
| But you don't. | ||
| You just don't play them. | ||
| Listen, if we decided to do that, would you come and play it here? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| What we're thinking about doing is we have a conference room that I'm thinking about turning into a LAN party room. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| And have it set up. | ||
| We'll set up Quake games and then maybe we host a server and let a certain amount of people online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then we could have what you call deathmatch. | ||
| I'll come and play. | ||
| Deathmatch is like you have ten people on a map and they're all just going crazy. | ||
| And you respawn with all your shit. | ||
| Dude, let's do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it. | |
| But what about, why don't we pick up a new one like this? | ||
| This fucking game. | ||
| You can do a hundred people in this game. | ||
| It's called Battlegrounds or something. | ||
| Player Unknown's Battlegrounds, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| This game looks badass. | ||
| I don't want real physics. | ||
| I don't want to move around like I move around in real life. | ||
| That's the thing about Quake is you move way quicker than you do in real life. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| You're bouncing and jumping and you're hitting trampolines and flying through the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no, man. | |
| This game looks pretty cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you're queer... | |
| It's like hunting people. | ||
| That's why I think you'd like it. | ||
| Yeah, you're hunting people. | ||
| I'm not into hunting people, bro. | ||
| I'm into hunting aliens that can move faster than people with rocket launcher. | ||
| Dude, and by the way, what about Hearthstone, Joe? | ||
| Why don't you start playing Hearthstone? | ||
| Oh, you want me to cast spells like you? | ||
| Do we have to be naked? | ||
| You might like Overwatch then, because that's a little bit more... | ||
| Yeah, Overwatch is... | ||
| That's a third-person thing. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is what I was explaining, the Overwatch League. | ||
| This is the viewing of it, so they have special ways you can view it. | ||
| But I like watching things through someone's eyes. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Overwatch is fun as fuck, dude. | ||
| This looks great. | ||
| This is team-based. | ||
| We should have an Overwatch League. | ||
| I suck at it. | ||
| You know who's good at it is Pemberton. | ||
| You can get Pemberton in our League. | ||
| Just look at them. | ||
| So, is this something that you play with a PC? Yeah. | ||
| Or is this an... | ||
| Okay, I don't play Xbox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Actually, this one's on all of them. | |
| This one's on all of them, but PC games. | ||
| I can't play Xbox games. | ||
| Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard, that controller is just so whack. | ||
| They're supposed to be making an update soon, so you can do that, actually. | ||
| A mouse and keyboard on an Xbox. | ||
| Oh, well, that's what they should do. | ||
| How's it taking so long to do that? | ||
| Blizzard is such... | ||
| They're so badass. | ||
| But they were working on that years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's still a thing, like, Xbox has said recently they would allow people to play against people on PlayStation's network. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Sony doesn't want to play friends with them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh. | |
| That sucks. | ||
| Well, see, the thing about computers is when you have a mouse and a keyboard, you just have so much more precision. | ||
| Guys get really good, and they also have, like, auto-aiming that keeps you in the box when you're using those. | ||
| They've made it a little bit better so those little hand controllers are more accurate than they used to be. | ||
| But man, it ain't the same. | ||
| When you have a mouse and keyboard, like, if you watch that guy, Google Fatality, and the I in Fatality was a number one. | ||
| This guy would hit people with a railgun in the middle of the air so often, it was almost like he was psychic. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| When you'd watch him play, and you'd watch through his eyes, and you'd realize how bad you are at the game. | ||
| And that was part of the reason why I got so addictive. | ||
| He made it to number one on that new game I was talking about. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yeah, that's what his Twitch channel says right here. | ||
| His last stream was him playing. | ||
| Yeah, that's him. | ||
| He's a savage. | ||
| I met that kid in Vegas. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| He's not a kid anymore. | ||
| I'm sure he's deep in his 30s now. | ||
| I think. | ||
| This is a long-ass time ago that he was running Quake, unless he was six. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| He's a dad. | ||
| He's got a dad bod. | ||
| Got a fucking golf shirt on. | ||
| Just dropped his kids off. | ||
| Out there fucking out people online. | ||
| I love it, man. | ||
| This is such a better future than I predicted when I was a kid. | ||
| I never imagined that we would be able to watch people play video games. | ||
| You could make a career out of playing. | ||
| Not just a career, but make more in a month than lawyers make in a year. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's wild. | |
| These people are all painting and playing music and stuff. | ||
| Alright, we're going to do it. | ||
| And we're going to also do Pool on it, right? | ||
| We're going to set that shit up. | ||
| We've got plans. | ||
| Techno Hunt. | ||
| We did this Techno Hunt thing. | ||
| Have you seen the Techno Hunt game yet? | ||
| Only are you posting it on Insta. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I want to check it out. | ||
| We have a thing live. | ||
| There's 40,000 people watching. | ||
| And we're shooting arrows at this screen. | ||
| And then it's been downloaded like 300,000 times in the first 24 hours. | ||
| What's the ETA on this, man? | ||
| Like, when are you going to fully turn this into like a video gaming compound? | ||
| It's pretty close. | ||
| We're closing in on it. | ||
| We're closing in on it. | ||
| But the Technohunt thing, what's fascinating about that is you use a regular bow. | ||
| So it's like real world practice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A compound bow. | ||
| Yeah, like a real compound bow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not supposed to use a powerful one. | ||
| You're supposed to keep it down to 70 pounds. | ||
| You can't jack it up like mine is jacked up to 84 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
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But I tried the 84 pound one and it didn't break it. | |
| So we'll see. | ||
| I'm excited, man. | ||
| I love this compound. | ||
| It's crazy, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's badass. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't wait to see what you do with it. | ||
| It's like you're just barely growing it right now, right? | ||
| Well, any suggestions you have, man. | ||
| And if you want to do something here, we can do anything you want. | ||
| If you have an idea. | ||
| I like the video game idea, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it. | |
| I love the idea of having some kind of Twitch laboratory here. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| Yeah, that's exciting. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| So, you heard it, folks. | ||
| Duncan Trussell's in for the Twitch League. | ||
| I suck at these games, though. | ||
| My kids are going to go, Daddy, come home. | ||
| Daddy, why do you play games? | ||
| Duncan Trussell, ladies and gentlemen, you can follow him and his antics on Twitter or Instagram, but you don't use Facebook, do you? | ||
| No. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Duncan Trussell Family Hour, one of the best podcasts in the world. | ||
| Thanks, Joe. | ||
| I recommend you listen to the one with Dr. Chris Ryan. | ||
| It was a really good one, the last one you guys did together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You listened to that? | |
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| Don't tell me that. | ||
| I'm going to get nervous when I do my podcast, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, bro. | |
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Young Jamie. | ||
| Go to youngjamie.com and get your round earth shill t-shirts. | ||
| Are they back? | ||
| Do you have them restocked? | ||
| They're not restocked. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| I want one of those. | ||
| You sell out so fast. | ||
| I got one for you. | ||
| But you have powerful shirts in stock, right? | ||
| There are. | ||
| There's a couple of those left. | ||
| A couple of hoodies left. | ||
| Yeah, they go quick, bitch. | ||
| They go quick. | ||
| Alright, folks. | ||
| We'll be back tomorrow with Phil Demers, formerly of Marine World. | ||
| And we're going to have some fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye! |
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