Nov. 27, 2017 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:09:47
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
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Did you see this? | |
| And we're back. | ||
| Trump's latest conspiracy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, what is it? | ||
| I guess he's saying that there's a New York Times piece that contains a paragraph saying Trump suggested that the Axis Hollywood tape wasn't real. | ||
| So he's like saying that never existed. | ||
| Oh, no, yeah. | ||
| He said... | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| Are those other two microphones on or something? | ||
| Oh, was that the TV was on? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I think he said, like, in passing to someone, like, how do we even know that's real? | ||
| Dude, you know how tired he must be? | ||
| I'm so tired. | ||
| Just listen. | ||
| Just think how tired you are, right? | ||
| Just doing normal stuff. | ||
| Doing podcasts. | ||
| Doing comedy shows. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Having a girlfriend. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's tiring. | ||
| Imagine being 70. And being the fucking president. | ||
| And being in a position where you're like, why did I do this? | ||
| Why did I do this? | ||
| He's got, I mean, maybe, look, maybe. | ||
| Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| Maybe he went into this job with the best of intentions. | ||
| But he was just overwhelmed by conflict every step of the way. | ||
| He's tested in a way that his character was never tested before. | ||
| And all these people are mad at him. | ||
| It's just hell. | ||
| Hell on earth. | ||
| 70! | ||
| So tired. | ||
| And he's getting the worst comments ever. | ||
| Every day like this. | ||
| Tired. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| There was an article that was written, not meaning in any way to disparage the great president of ours. | ||
| There was an article that was written a while back where this guy found out that Trump had some sort of a prescription for amphetamines. | ||
| Way back in the day, which, again, that word's a dirty word, but let's just break down what that means. | ||
| It's a series and a class of drugs that's a stimulant, and there's a lot of people that use stimulants, including me. | ||
| I love coffee. | ||
| I drink these caveman nitros. | ||
| For a lot of people, this might as well be a drug. | ||
| This is 270 milligrams, this little can. | ||
| 270 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| So, I'm no hypocrite. | ||
| I try not to be, at least. | ||
| So, I'm just being honest. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with stimulants. | ||
| I enjoy coffee. | ||
| But that's the only one I fuck with. | ||
| Other than that NuVigil, I've tried that stuff a few times, and I will try it. | ||
| Like, say, if I have to drive home, if I'm driving home from San Francisco, it's like 10 o'clock at night, I know I'm not going to get home until 3 in the morning, 4 in the morning. | ||
| I will take one of those, because it'll keep you from falling asleep. | ||
| That's what it's made for. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Apparently, what I've read was that that's what they prescribe it for, but what it's made for, and it was originally called ProVigil, right? | ||
| NuVigil and ProVigil. | ||
| No, no, that's two different ones, but they're pretty much the same. | ||
| Yeah, but one of them is a new one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
New Vigil. | |
| And I think New Vigil is a new one, right? | ||
| And I think what they did is like there was probably some sort of, I don't know, maybe it's an improvement or maybe it was some sort of a copyright thing or a trademark thing. | ||
| I'm going to ask Jamie to Google a bunch of shit. | ||
| What did we start with? | ||
| Start with the Trump amphetamine thing. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| That's what Adderall is, folks. | ||
| And I know a fucking shitload of people that are on that stuff. | ||
| And I've talked about it ad nauseum. | ||
| I'm sorry if I'm boring you. | ||
| For people that have never heard me talk about this, you've got to get it out. | ||
| Fun fact. | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| I said, I think it came from this tweet, which is kind of a contributor for Vanity Fair. | ||
| Yeah, Kurt Eichenwald, I believe is the way you say his last name. | ||
| It says, fun fact, in 1982, Trump started taking amphetamine derivatives. | ||
| He says abused them, but that's his classification, right? | ||
| Only supposed to take two for 25 days, stayed on for eight years. | ||
| Really? | ||
| The second tweet, the one below, it says, White House admitted it to me. | ||
| He took it for a short amount of time for a diet. | ||
| A diet when he was not overweight. | ||
| I counted with med records. | ||
| They cut me off. | ||
| People misreading. | ||
| Drug was diethopropan, 75 milligrams a day. | ||
| Prescriptions filled at Duane Reade on 57... | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Not that I know things. | ||
| He gave out the fucking address of the Dwayne Reed where it was prescribed, where it was fulfilled. | ||
| Yeah, man, I think for sure, without a doubt, right? | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people that enjoy stimulants. | ||
| Can you see him, though, just getting his tan on and taking diet pills? | ||
| That's how you get ahead. | ||
| And this is going to sound fucked up, and it's not entirely true. | ||
| This is why it sounds fucked up. | ||
| Because other people have done it with nothing. | ||
| There's people out there that are just fucking getting up early and running mountains and drinking water and kicking ass. | ||
| There are people like that. | ||
| But there's a lot of people in business, in a lot of different walks of life, that enjoy stimulants. | ||
| And I am not knocking them. | ||
| I want to be really clear about this. | ||
| This is just sort of a discussion of it. | ||
| I'm not knocking them. | ||
| Maybe it's awesome. | ||
| I'm scared of Adderall. | ||
| I'm scared I'd love it. | ||
| I've tasted it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's it taste like? | |
| You know what it reminded me of? | ||
| I tried to do it once, my friend gave me one, and I took half of the one, and I went on stage later, and it felt like I was on coke. | ||
| If you try to do coke before you do comedy, your timing's off, you're just going through your shit super fast, and that's what I felt like, and I'm like, I'm never doing that again. | ||
| And then I had it one more time, years later, when I was doing something, I had to stay awake, and I just felt jittery. | ||
| I didn't like it compared to Nuva Jill, where you didn't have the jitters or the Adderall-type feeling. | ||
| Yeah, Nuva Jill doesn't give you any of that, right? | ||
| Yeah, you're just on. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| But it doesn't... | ||
| I don't feel like it stimulates you. | ||
| I feel like it just doesn't... | ||
| It keeps you at a level, but it doesn't take you any higher. | ||
| Jesus, sounds like a New Vigil ad. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| This is the thing about New Vigil. | ||
| I had a conversation with Tim Ferriss about this. | ||
| Tim Ferriss didn't put that in one of his biohacking books, specifically because he felt like if he did, people would eat it like candy. | ||
| And I went, holy shit! | ||
| When a guy like Tim Ferriss, an extremely influential guy that spends a lot of time doing biohacking and improvement shit like he does, for that guy to say he didn't want to write about New Vigil or Pro Vigil in a book because he didn't want people eating it like candy, like holy shit, listen to him. | ||
| And one of the things that he said that I thought was very important, he said there's no biological free lunch. | ||
| So there's gotta be some sort of repercussions for taking that. | ||
| And maybe we won't know for 20 years, right? | ||
| That's the thing, like, something's happening, right? | ||
| You're doing something. | ||
| It gets you fired up. | ||
| Now, it's not a natural thing, so it's not like you're taking vitamins, and those vitamins, like B12 or something like that, stimulates you, gives you energy. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| Okay, so is it bad that it's not that? | ||
| How many chemicals are bad, and how many chemicals are okay, and how do you know? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Look at sugar, man. | ||
| We are now learning that sugar is like the worst thing in the whole entire world because the sugar industry back in the day was like, sell this, sell this, fat's bad, you know? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And now we know that sugar is one of the biggest things for heart disease and all that crap. | ||
| Yeah, they're weasels. | ||
| Would you pull up there? | ||
| There's a comparison chart on Nuvagil and Provagil. | ||
| They're almost the same thing. | ||
| One is Modafinil and the other one is R-Modafinil. | ||
| And so they have some sort of it here. | ||
| The mechanism of action is slightly different on them. | ||
| That's the only thing I can tell that's different. | ||
| Is one an improvement of the other? | ||
| I... Can't really... | ||
| Looks like Nubajil has... | ||
| Extra shit! | ||
| Yeah, it's something about electronic coupling. | ||
| Anyway, think about the fact that I've taken this. | ||
| Now, listen to what this is. | ||
| This stuff is... | ||
| It may activate orexin peptides via stimulation of orexin receptors, OX1 and OX2. It may also increase, ready for this one? | ||
| Glutametergic? | ||
| Glutametergic. | ||
| Is that how you say it? | ||
| Sounds right. | ||
| Glutametergic concentrations decrease GAB allergic activation and increase electronic coupling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who the fuck knows what that means? | |
| Rhonda Patrick? | ||
| She probably would have to go, okay. | ||
| And then she'd have to lay it out. | ||
| And then we would listen to it afterwards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| Whenever she talks, I always feel like I'm some sort of a stupid monkey person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, stupid monkey person, I have questions for a smart lady. | |
| Please tell me how the body works. | ||
| What is electronic coupling, though? | ||
| We've got to get to the bottom of that, because that's electronic. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| How do we have something electronic in us? | ||
| How is electronic coupling a thing you have to worry about when you're trying to stay awake? | ||
| What is it the fuck? | ||
| Dude, imagine if that's how we found out, by looking at the ingredients of New Vigil, and we're like, hey, hey, hey, what does this mean? | ||
| And then all of a sudden, the fucking overlords turn the switch, and we can see them in front of us. | ||
| Sorry, you guys are robots this entire time. | ||
| It was a goddamn ad agency the whole time that let it out. | ||
| We're doing the bidding for the robot world. | ||
| You know what the creepiest fucking quote I ever read? | ||
| It was Marshall McLuhan. | ||
| He said, human beings are the sex organs of the machine world. | ||
| I went, what the fuck, man? | ||
| And he wrote this, McLuhan was a bad motherfucker, and one of a really underrated visionary. | ||
| You read some of his stuff, you're like, Jesus, this guy had some insight. | ||
| And I'm pretty sure he wrote all this stuff in the 60s. | ||
| See if you can find when that quote was... | ||
| Said by McLuhan, or written, however it was. | ||
| Human beings are the sex organs of the machine world. | ||
| I feel like it was in the 60s he wrote this. | ||
| Which is like, wow! | ||
| That's so heavy! | ||
| How the fuck did he see that? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| We're some sort of a weird being that makes better and better technology every year, and we get pumped about it, which is why I wanted to show you the Razer phone. | ||
| Oh, that's so sexy, man. | ||
| I can't believe you have that. | ||
| 1964. 64! | ||
| Just stop and think of that. | ||
| 1964, that motherfucker figured it out. | ||
| That was all acid. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| It probably was, right? | ||
| Look at the cover. | ||
| So look at that. | ||
| Look at that, Brian. | ||
| That's beautiful, man. | ||
| This is the Razer phone. | ||
| That's supposed to have the best speakerphone. | ||
| Dude, this speaker's insane. | ||
| Yeah, like a Bluetooth speaker. | ||
| Not that loud. | ||
| Not that loud. | ||
| No, it's not as loud as a Bluetooth, but it's fucking crazy. | ||
| Like, you watch a movie on it, it's dope. | ||
| You can play games on it, it's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sounds like a goddamn ad for this now. | ||
| Nuvigil and Razer. | ||
| No one's paid me. | ||
| They gave this to me for free, in all honesty. | ||
| But it's pretty dope. | ||
| Razer makes quality products. | ||
| I have that big, high-end laptop, the Blade Pro, and it's really good. | ||
| Is that the iPhone X? I did. | ||
| I just got the iPhone X. Yeah, it took me a while. | ||
| I gave in. | ||
| I saw Jamie's. | ||
| I'm like, I give. | ||
| I tap. | ||
| Two things about it that I like. | ||
| Face ID. 100% legit. | ||
| 100% legit. | ||
| The only times when you wake up and your pillow's in the way or your eyes are puffy, you just go to the passcode. | ||
| But anytime you look at it, it just unlocks. | ||
| You can close your eyes and it won't unlock. | ||
| So when you're sleeping, you can't just put it up to your face. | ||
| And the size of it. | ||
| Because it's about the same size as the Plus, which is what I've... | ||
| But it's like having an old small phone again. | ||
| So I was starting to get carpal tunnel in my finger and my thumb from the Plus after a while. | ||
| So you can just swipe up and I can get to all of your notifications. | ||
| Yeah, there's different swipe systems. | ||
| It shouldn't say anything other than notification, though. | ||
| Unless he looks at it. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It won't let me back. | ||
| It doesn't trust me. | ||
| Cancel, bitch. | ||
| It won't let me cancel. | ||
| It's making me enter a password. | ||
| Cancel. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Here's some notifications. | ||
| Now can you see anything? | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wants a face ID. Now look at me. | |
| Look, I'll unlock it for you. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| So it fucks up sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| But I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| The form fact is very interesting. | ||
| That's my security camera. | ||
| So it's a huge-ass camera, but it's not. | ||
| It's like three or four cameras, I think. | ||
| I mean, it's a huge-ass phone, but it's not a huge-ass phone. | ||
| And it has a killer camera. | ||
| What a weird world, man. | ||
| Just ten years ago, the first iPhone came out. | ||
| And if you saw that thing today, you'd be like, that thing was made out of wood! | ||
| I still have mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| I have all mine, and two of them are starting to explode. | ||
| And it's not fair because I bought them and I wanted to keep them like a collector, but my iPhone 3 is bubbled up and it's about to blow up any day now. | ||
| So you have different swipes now because you don't have a homepage. | ||
| You have to shut it down to get out of there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| The swiping system actually is very... | ||
| I can't believe I used to do it that different way. | ||
| If you want to go in between programs, now you just go on the bottom left or right. | ||
| So you just do that. | ||
| Now the top right gets you to the control center. | ||
| And it took me about two days for me to finally go, oh, this is so much how it's supposed to be. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes if they figure out a better way, even though it's a better way, like QWERTY typing, do you know the whole deal behind that? | ||
| Apparently that's not the fastest way to type. | ||
| The keyboard QWERTY is set up the way it is because in the olden days they made it that way because old keys would get stuck on each other. | ||
| And they would mash them and they'd get stuck together, so they had to separate the more commonly used keys. | ||
| So they changed the way they did it, but the right way to do the typewriter... | ||
| Goddammit, I forget the name of it. | ||
| But some people try, wacky fucking nerds. | ||
| You wacky nerds. | ||
| These wacky nerds, they take their keyboards and they reprogram them, or they buy a specific keyboard that's in this way, and then they learn how to type with this super unusual keyboard, but it's supposed to be faster. | ||
| There's a plug-in, I think, that you can do it on your iPad and your iPhones and stuff like that. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| What is it called, Jamie? | ||
| This is the Dvorak keyboard. | ||
| Dvorak, that's it. | ||
| It's a little different layout. | ||
| Yeah, so there's QWERTY and Dvorak. | ||
| See, yeah, it's A-O-E-U-I-D-H, so it's not QWERTY at all. | ||
| P-Y-F-G-C-R-L on top. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| It would take a long-ass time to relearn. | ||
| You can't relearn. | ||
| You'd have to start from the beginning. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't think it's worth it. | ||
| I'm too stupid. | ||
| I'm too stupid. | ||
| It's like my thoughts about learning a new language, like, I'm good. | ||
| Voice recognition is so much already there that we're not going to have keyboards very soon anyways. | ||
| What have you heard about those Google earbuds that you put them in and they translate for you in real time? | ||
| My friend has them. | ||
| They're not good. | ||
| I was thinking, like, how could they be good when people have, like, crazy flow to their language? | ||
| Like, you know, you talk to, like, some serious Puerto Ricans and they're like, you know, there's, like, all these words are, like, flowing into these other words, you know? | ||
| I mean, there's, like, a flavor to it that I just don't think that little computer thing is going to be able to figure out what the fuck that guy just said, you know? | ||
| I think you could already do it in Google, you know, so you don't need the headphones, you just need your phone. | ||
| And you can hear it? | ||
| Yeah, it just does it on speakerphone. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But the new Pixel, by the way, that camera on that, it's the best camera of any phone, the new Pixel 2. What's crazy is it's a single camera, where all these other phones are doing it with a dual camera. | ||
| It is interesting. | ||
| You know, what's really interesting is the level that all these phones are at now. | ||
| Everything is at a super high level. | ||
| Like, technologically speaking, the jump has been giant. | ||
| It's like, where is this fucking thing going? | ||
| Like, where are we going to look at for the iPhone 20? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, is it going to be in your skin? | ||
| Are you going to get it? | ||
| Is it going to fix blindness? | ||
| It's going to be wearable. | ||
| I think one day there's not going to be a device, a phone. | ||
| You're just going to be wearing it somehow. | ||
| Like, you can look at your sleeve to make a phone call. | ||
| You can check your email using your shoe. | ||
| Dude, some mad scientist is going to figure out a way to make eyeballs that work better than our eyeballs. | ||
| We're going to swap out our eyeballs. | ||
| They already have that. | ||
| They're going to be the first to go. | ||
| You're going to swap out your eyeballs for these super electronic eyeballs, but everything is like a shade of color off. | ||
| Like red is purple. | ||
| It's like one of them OLED screens. | ||
| It's got burn-in. | ||
| We're going to figure it out, but right now, you just give up your eyes. | ||
| You give up your eyes for the computer world. | ||
| That's how to start us off. | ||
| To start us off with better eyes. | ||
| First, it'll be our blind friends. | ||
| Our blind friends will get new eyes, and then we're like, dude, I see so much better. | ||
| I'm actually happy that I went blind. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| The fuck did you just say? | ||
| And then next thing you know, you're going to try it. | ||
| There's going to be some crazy fucker with good eyesight that's going to go, I want to be able to see better. | ||
| It's like the girl with the perfect body that gets boob implants. | ||
| Like, no. | ||
| Why'd you do that? | ||
| You know, the girl already has double D's and goes to like triple E like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Why'd you do that? | ||
| It's interesting to think of, like, all the blind people would be the first ones to get all the new eyeballs. | ||
| And they'd be seeing better. | ||
| So they're all going to be, like, those people with the glasses, the blind people, and they take off their... | ||
| and they're all robots. | ||
| Like They Live. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the movie They Live. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Ratty Roddy Piper. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| Remember when Ratty Roddy Piper was a movie star for a little bit, doing some action movies? | ||
| He was, like, one of the first guys, like, The Rock, to break through. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And that They Live movie. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| I miss that guy. | ||
| Dude, it's a real possibility that this could happen. | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying it's going to happen in a decade, but if human beings live to be another hundred years, they're going to have better replacements. | ||
| Elon's tweet about that robot scared everybody, just the way he worded it. | ||
| He said, this is nothing. | ||
| In a few years, that bot will move so fast, you need a strobe light to see it. | ||
| Sweet dreams. | ||
| He's such a hook. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That guy is so awesome. | ||
| He scares the shit out of me. | ||
| But he's right. | ||
| Listen, man, he's probably one of the smartest human beings on the planet Earth. | ||
| You know that they think he might have invented Bitcoin? | ||
| There's a lot of speculation online. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| I want to talk about this in this podcast. | ||
| I didn't even read the article. | ||
| I looked at the headline. | ||
| I'm like, probably. | ||
| And I kept moving. | ||
| He started PayPal, right? | ||
| Didn't him and Peter Thiel started PayPal, right? | ||
| Co-founders of it. | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| I believe that's what made him. | ||
| And there's a video of him from the 1990s where he got a million dollar car delivered. | ||
| He was just starting to ball. | ||
| When he's just starting to ball out of control. | ||
| He's probably one of the smartest human beings ever. | ||
| That new sports car. | ||
| Oh, there's Tesla? | ||
| He's a fascinating guy, man. | ||
| You know, he just made a whole town out of a battery. | ||
| He made the biggest battery in the history of the world. | ||
| Did you hear about that one? | ||
| Yeah, there's some new thing that he just built. | ||
| They just built the largest battery in the history of the world. | ||
| It's like a building. | ||
| Like, this guy is fucking Nikola Tesla. | ||
| He's a madman. | ||
| We're gonna have battery explosions in the future. | ||
| That's gonna be a big thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, for sure. | |
| You know? | ||
| Like, this whole town's gonna blow up. | ||
| Tesla has built the world's largest battery in Australia. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| Elon Musk is making good on his promise to solve an energy crisis in Australia. | ||
| Can you make that bigger? | ||
| He says, um, screw that up. | ||
| Oh, here it goes. | ||
| It's fully installed the world's largest lithium ion battery in South Australia, the state government said in a statement Thursday. | ||
| Tesla teamed up with a French renewable energy firm in the local government to install the battery, which Musk promised to deliver within 100 days of signing the contract, or it would be free. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| Why would he do that? | ||
| He's a crazy person. | ||
| He's a mad man. | ||
| He's like a fucking mad scientist. | ||
| He's like a guy from a movie, right? | ||
| Like if you had a movie and there was some mad billionaire Robert Downey Jr. type character that just kept inventing the newest crazy shit and was at the cutting edge of science and was telling everybody to look out for the fucking robots that are gonna kill us, it would be Elon Musk. | ||
| Have you met him? | ||
| No. | ||
| He came to a comedy show one night. | ||
| I was panicking. | ||
| He watched you though, right? | ||
| I think he did. | ||
| He had a nice army with him. | ||
| Yeah, he brings a lot of people with guns. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| Yeah, very good move. | ||
| Especially if you're worried about robots. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| He's right, though. | ||
| That's the scary thing. | ||
| When you watch that one robot, there's one mini-robot, there's this little yellow one in this video, and it's running on the ground at a very fast rate, and you're like, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| You're trying to wrap your head around this thing. | ||
| What if this thing has guns? | ||
| What if it's got a little camera, and it's got guns, and it's running at you like this? | ||
| And it's like the size of a.44 Magnum. | ||
| It's like a series of.44 Magnums pointed at you, it's about that big, and it's running like a hundred times faster than you could ever run. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Hold on! | ||
| This is like probably how people in Yemen feel. | ||
| Like, yes! | ||
| I've been telling you! | ||
| You can't let them use robots. | ||
| You know, like, the people that get bombed with drones, we've just sort of like, ah, that's not real. | ||
| You don't even have to, like, tell us about it. | ||
| No one has to tell us that they're gonna do it. | ||
| They just do it, right? | ||
| And something like 80% of the people that they kill are innocent? | ||
| There's some crazy number of people that the drones have killed. | ||
| I know we've gone over this before. | ||
| What is it, like 80%? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Yeah, that sounds about right. | ||
| Let's see if we can find it. | ||
| You're like, Rogan, you're exaggerating again. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| It might be like 78%, whatever it is. | ||
| But even if it's more than 50%, that's fucking crazy! | ||
| We just have robots that shoot things at people, and we hope we get the right ones. | ||
| You would never think that Transformers will actually happen one day. | ||
| Totally happen, right? | ||
| We're going to have good Transformers and bad Transformers, and then the good ones are going to hack the bad ones, or vice versa. | ||
| Michael Bay was right all along. | ||
| We need to bring Megan Fox back into the franchise. | ||
| That's hard to imagine, man. | ||
| But it's probably inevitable, right? | ||
| It's probably inevitable that someone is going to make some super smart robot that does his bidding, and we're going to have a war of worlds. | ||
| Yeah, and we're going to have Robocops that fight the bad robots and the drones. | ||
| Can you imagine if the argument would be, let's let the robots fight because therefore it'll save human lives and will dictate how the world is won. | ||
| Sort of just like the Olympics, but with robots fighting to the death to see who gets to run the world. | ||
| What Elon Musk should be doing instead of making batteries is trying to invent force fields. | ||
| For real, we all need personal force fields. | ||
| Well, see, this is the thing. | ||
| He is at the cutting edge of science in terms of implementation of all these new inventions like lithium-ion batteries that are hooked up to Giant fucking whatever that structure was they made it in. | ||
| Drone races. | ||
| It's on ESPN all the time. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So they put on like almost a VR headset and race through. | ||
| They do have them in arenas. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| A lot of times it's at night with lit up like neon obstacles they got to go through. | ||
| These go like 70 miles an hour, I think. | ||
| They go really fast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So cool. | |
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's so much cooler than a video game because there's an actual thing out there that you're moving around. | ||
| To play a video game, that's the new video game. | ||
| The new video game is you put some 10K camera VR headset thing on and you put these cameras on these robots and then you go do shit where the actual thing is really doing it. | ||
| It's not a video. | ||
| You're just watching some real physical thing take place. | ||
| And then you have these physical wars. | ||
| So, like, instead of, you know, like, if you built together an army of semi-indestructible robots, right, and you had to duke it out with another army of semi-indestructible robots, and that would be like a television show. | ||
| Or drone laser tag. | ||
| Where it's like Star Wars and you're fighting and if you shoot your laser at it, it turns off the drone. | ||
| It doesn't destroy it. | ||
| Maybe it makes a fake. | ||
| Yeah, but you have to have high stakes. | ||
| See, I think things would be so cheap back... | ||
| By the time it gets to this point, it's like everything gets cheaper and cheaper. | ||
| It used to be you had to be a super baller to have that Michael Douglas brick on the beach, right? | ||
| Remember in that movie, Greed or whatever it was, Wall Street? | ||
| Greed is good. | ||
| He's walking with that giant brick. | ||
| Like you had to be a super baller to be able to afford that. | ||
| But now that's like nothing. | ||
| And everyone has a cell phone that's way better than that. | ||
| Like every person walking down the street, you go, sir, do you have a phone on you? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| And he pulls out his phone. | ||
| It's way better than Michael Douglas's super baller, all-time high money guy cell phone. | ||
| Except Ari Shaffir. | ||
| Except Ari. | ||
| But Ari has a cell phone. | ||
| No, Ari's flip phone is still way better, right? | ||
| It's still way better than that stupid piece of shit that Michael Douglas had. | ||
| So, if we just keep going in that direction, they're going to get cheaper and cheaper and cheaper to do crazier and crazier things. | ||
| Do you remember this movie that came out a few years ago? | ||
| With you, Jackman? | ||
| Oh yeah, they had fights. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's called Real Steel. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| It's like Rock'em Suck'em Robots or something like that. | ||
| How did they do it with remote control? | ||
| Almost like what you're describing. | ||
| There's some capturing their body movement and it just copies what they do. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It also is AI and has feelings. | ||
| How dumb was it? | ||
| But wait a minute, he's on the ground. | ||
| How's he fighting? | ||
| Oh, is it someone else doing it? | ||
| And then he's going to go back in there? | ||
| Oh god, he did the thing with the... | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| It's a training montage! | ||
| Stop this now! | ||
| Don't let... | ||
| Don't you ruin Wolverine, you motherfucker! | ||
| Don't you ruin... | ||
| Don't you ruin Wolverine for me, you piece of shit! | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| How dumb did that look? | ||
| Oh, it's so sad. | ||
| He's going to show the little boy. | ||
| The little boy tells him, hey, come on, man. | ||
| You've got to get in there and win for us. | ||
| He pulls his sunglasses down. | ||
| Well, I'm going to have to start training. | ||
| Did anybody watch that movie? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's why I don't know much about it. | ||
| They must have gave Hugh Jackman a shitload of money to make that look like a good idea. | ||
| He had to be sitting in his house in Australia going, wait, how much again? | ||
| How much? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay, so I'm a fighter robot guy? | ||
| Is that what's going on? | ||
| How many weeks? | ||
| I watched it on an airplane, no sound. | ||
| That's about it. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| When you're so high, you think you're going to fall out of the sky. | ||
| They'd watch that and go, what? | ||
| That guy's awesome as Wolverine. | ||
| Even though he's not supposed to... | ||
| Wolverine's not supposed to look like that. | ||
| Wolverine's not supposed to be a big guy. | ||
| That would be like a bear. | ||
| Wolverine's like a little blockhead guy. | ||
| Wolverine would be built like... | ||
| You'd have to go, like, Husamar Palhares. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| Husamar Palhares is a guy who fought in the UFC. He got kicked out of the UFC for, I think, unjustly. | ||
| He holds on to submissions too long. | ||
| And people get really mad at him because he fucking mangles people's legs. | ||
| But I think the last one, like, the people, they're on him so hard that I think the last one was just, it was a tiny, minor infraction. | ||
| I think he just gets super excited. | ||
| I think he's definitely held on to things too long in the past, but I think he's learned from that. | ||
| But anyway, the UFC has a zero tolerance policy for that shit. | ||
| He doesn't fight for the UFC anymore. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But my point is, the guy looked like Wolverine from the comic book. | ||
| He's just fucking jacked. | ||
| He was like this 5'8", 5'9". | ||
| He might not even been that tall. | ||
| 185 pound gorilla. | ||
| Just ripping people's legs apart. | ||
| He was one of the scariest guys ever. | ||
| See if you can find a good picture of Husamar Pajarez. | ||
| Just try Pajares. | ||
| There's no way I'm spelling Husamar correctly. | ||
| It's Husamar with an R. How are you? | ||
| Yeah, it's spelled with an R, but the Portuguese, see, they use H. They call me Joe Hogan. | ||
| Joe Hogan. | ||
| There he is, right there. | ||
| Jesus Christ, man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at that fucking picture. | ||
| Look how jacked he is, man. | ||
| That's what Wolverine's supposed to look like. | ||
| Almost exactly like that. | ||
| Just like super jacked pitbull of a man. | ||
| Because that's what a Wolverine is. | ||
| A Wolverine's a crazy fucking animal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he still fighting? | |
| Look at the size of that guy! | ||
| Does he still fight? | ||
| He got fucked up a few times in some other organizations. | ||
| He got beaten by some tough guys like Emile Meek. | ||
| Sorry, I'm saying his name wrong. | ||
| Emile Meek, the mad Viking dude. | ||
| He fucked him up and that's what got him over into the UFC. That's like a G.I. Joe body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's ridiculous. | ||
| But that's what, if, like, Wolverine was a human, that's what he'd look like. | ||
| Wouldn't look like Hugh Jackman. | ||
| But Hugh Jackman pulls it off. | ||
| Like, you don't have to be totally, I mean, you gotta get a movie star in there. | ||
| It's not like you let Paul Harris play Wolverine. | ||
| Like, Wolverine has to say a bunch of shit, and you gotta believe he means it. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it's probably hard to find a super jacked movie star who could be a savage. | ||
| Unless it's Jackman. | ||
| Hugh Jackman could be a savage. | ||
| I'm buying it. | ||
| I got my T-levels results today. | ||
| How's everything going? | ||
| I don't know what it means, but I'm in the normal range. | ||
| There's like the normal range. | ||
| You have a chart? | ||
| Are you a doctor? | ||
| I just spit. | ||
| I use this every well thing. | ||
| And you spit in this little thing. | ||
| In like two weeks, you get full grafts. | ||
| It's like 24 and me, but for you. | ||
| 24. It's 24 hours. | ||
| But like I showed you, I'm on the low side of normal, so I don't even know what that means. | ||
| And I guess I should test it every couple months to see if it bounces up and down. | ||
| But I definitely have lower normal. | ||
| Well, you could fix that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But here's the thing you should do. | ||
| Like, are we having a conversation about health? | ||
| No, I mean, I'm just checking my T levels, bro. | ||
| I know, bro. | ||
| But it's all connected. | ||
| What I'm saying is, I guarantee you, if you just changed your diet, it would have a significant effect on that. | ||
| Just change your diet. | ||
| I'm going to do this new thing, if you want to do it with me. | ||
| All through December. | ||
| December discipline. | ||
| This is what I'm going to do. | ||
| I'm going to work out five days a week, at least, minimum. | ||
| I owe five days a week, no bread, no wheat, no pasta, no sugar, all month. | ||
| Two drinks a week. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So if you go out, have a drink of wine, you get one more of those in a week. | ||
| So what are you going to eat mostly? | ||
| Just steak? | ||
| Healthy food, man. | ||
| I watched another week documentary on the plane and shit my fucking pants. | ||
| I was terrified. | ||
| It was talking about the stuff that's in Roundup and how it's only supposed to affect bacteria. | ||
| And the scientists in this documentary are like, yeah, but you have bacteria in your gut. | ||
| Like, they're not taking that into consideration. | ||
| They're not taking into consideration gut flora. | ||
| And they were talking about how many people are having issues because they're eating bread that has pesticides on them. | ||
| I'm like, okay, is this like some pseudoscience shit? | ||
| Is this some nonsense? | ||
| Like, I gotta get to it, and eventually I will. | ||
| But I can't imagine that stuff that kills bacteria would be good for you. | ||
| I just can't imagine. | ||
| I don't know how much of that you would actually wind up having in your body, but how the fuck could that be good for you? | ||
| Like, all that Roundup stuff, that should scare the fuck out of you! | ||
| What is going on there, man? | ||
| You know, are we sure? | ||
| Are we sure that's okay for you? | ||
| Is it like one of those things where there's a certain amount that's allowable per... | ||
| Yes, probably. | ||
| But who set that standard? | ||
| And has that standard been updated based on what? | ||
| You know, like, there's too much money involved in all this stuff. | ||
| You have to realize that anything that's going to slow down the money, when it comes to, oh bro, you're talking conspiracies, but no, like for real. | ||
| This is important when it comes to environmental regulations. | ||
| If you look at the fight, here's a super good point when it comes to this. | ||
| If you look at the fight when it comes to environmental regulations, Who the fuck would be arguing against preserving the environment? | ||
| Just stop. | ||
| Stop and think about how crazy these conversations have to be. | ||
| Where someone's saying, hey, no, you can't dig that oil well right next to this river because it'll kill everything in the river, you fucking cunts. | ||
| And the people still wind up doing it somehow. | ||
| Like, how is that conversation even taking place? | ||
| That we're in... | ||
| We're getting involved in doing things that we know for sure is going to have some consequence. | ||
| And we're willing to accept a certain amount of it. | ||
| Some consequence on the natural world around it. | ||
| The Keystone Pipeline just the other day released 200,000 gallons of oil. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Just a little bit. | ||
| Just a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoops. | |
| How the spill. | ||
| We want to fix this. | ||
| We're trying to fix this thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| It should be like before we agree to anything, right? | ||
| I guess there's got to be some trade-off, right? | ||
| If you want to do a big city, you want to have all this power, there's got to be some sort of environmental consequences at this stage of life, at this stage of people, the way we're running things. | ||
| Unless Elon Musk can make us those big-ass batteries everywhere. | ||
| Solar collectors, man. | ||
| LA, every building should be required to have solar collectors on them in LA. No shit. | ||
| And it's not that crazy expensive. | ||
| You could do it yourself on Amazon Prime, probably. | ||
| It's dropping. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| It's dropping. | ||
| You know, they make some things where you can, like, charge your phone. | ||
| Like, they make these solar panels. | ||
| Like, you could sit them out on your patio. | ||
| It collects electricity enough to... | ||
| You take it with you the next day, and you can charge your phone with it. | ||
| You can charge your laptop with it. | ||
| They have backpacks that have solar on it. | ||
| I mean, like, why... | ||
| The sunniest places should have... | ||
| Be required to do shit like that. | ||
| You know, and the windiest places should have windmills and... | ||
| What I've read is the only issue on any of this stuff is where are the minerals coming from to make these magnets? | ||
| You know, there's things called conflict minerals. | ||
| There's minerals that are, you know, taken out of the ground in the Congo by slaves. | ||
| You know, there's little children working in these camps that they've documented pulling... | ||
| I think it's called coltan? | ||
| That's the name of it? | ||
| Out of the mountains is the stuff they use to make cell phones. | ||
| It's very depressing. | ||
| And I don't know if they still do it like that anymore. | ||
| I don't know if since it's been exposed it's had any sort of an impact on how they do it. | ||
| But Shane Smith was the first person to talk to us about it. | ||
| And I remember talking to him about it going, wait a minute. | ||
| Stop and think about what a cell phone is. | ||
| You're flipped that bitch over so you don't have to stare at your notifications. | ||
| Everybody's so scared. | ||
| Just not be connected. | ||
| But, you know, if you just think about the pinnacle of like what we use as far as like technology is like one of those things, right? | ||
| And if you take that, which is like the most pervasive technology, the most advanced aspect of our society, right? | ||
| The internet, in a phone, that takes pictures. | ||
| And you can ironically connect that all the way back to a child slave that's digging rocks out of the ground with a stick. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's dark. | ||
| I used to do it as a kid. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| You buy minerals in a Congo? | ||
| How'd you get out of the Congo without malaria? | ||
| I would just dig in my backyard, get rocks. | ||
| I collected rocks, polished them, looked at them. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Kids love doing that. | ||
| Yeah, I met a dude once who panned for gold. | ||
| We were coming across the country, and I met a dude who was a legitimate prospector. | ||
| And he was not making a ton of money, but he had this idea that he could at any day go in one of these rivers and pull out some serious gold. | ||
| It happened. | ||
| It does happen, especially in Alaska. | ||
| There's those TV shows where it's in Alaska where these guys go and they get a certain amount of gold out of the ground every day. | ||
| And sometimes they hit good pots and they can really, really collect and stack them up. | ||
| But this dude was like, and I brought him some shit that I thought was gold. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I found some gold. | ||
| He's like, no, no, no. | ||
| That's pyrite. | ||
| That's fool's gold. | ||
| And I started thinking about it. | ||
| I was like, well, why is gold worth anything? | ||
| Like, well, how come this pretty stuff is not as much as that pretty stuff? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is... | ||
| Fool's gold might be worth more than gold one day. | ||
| Someday. | ||
| Like, you fools. | ||
| It was right there in front of your eyes the entire time. | ||
| Man, what is fool's gold made out of? | ||
| Fool's gold looks pretty dope. | ||
| I think I should have some shit made out of fool's gold. | ||
| Since I'm a fool, it's a good move, right? | ||
| We should make it happen. | ||
| Yo, bro, how dope would it be to have a fool's gold watch? | ||
| Movement, get on that shit. | ||
| Rolex with an R. Imagine? | ||
| A dope-ass fool's gold chain. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's pretty. | ||
| It's weird how some shit is worth a lot of money that's pretty and some shit like pfft. | ||
| We don't give a fuck about rubies. | ||
| The only thing that's coming up is a Matthew McConaughey movie called Fools Gold. | ||
| It's him and a girl and a bottle of wine on the beach and there's a lot of singing. | ||
| Wait, does Flow School actually exist or is this something we've always thought it was? | ||
| That's what you described. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| And the watch that he's wearing keeps popping up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they both have their crotches leaning towards each other. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Look at the shadow work on it. | ||
| They're like moving in on a deep dick in right there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's just like a pirate. | ||
| He's a treasure hunter, I think. | ||
| Have you ever seen anybody do that or heard of people that do that? | ||
| They like find a place and they can't tell anybody about it because they know there's probably like two million dollars worth of shit down there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they gotta be careful because... | ||
| Oh yeah, man. | ||
| Those are real. | ||
| Somebody will kill them. | ||
| Oh yeah, that shit is real. | ||
| Yeah, there's a whole industry of that. | ||
| And there's people that finance these guys. | ||
| See, there's the mad men that know where the fuck, and mad women, sorry, and non-binary folk, that know where the treasure might be. | ||
| And then there's the people that need to finance that bitch. | ||
| And usually they make some sort of a split. | ||
| Like the guy's like, hey, I'll invest. | ||
| And people have invested hundreds of millions of dollars and come up with zilch. | ||
| And they just think, around the corner, around the corner, it's gotta be my pot of gold. | ||
| A Roman ship that crashed just filled to the fucking brim, those greedy cunts. | ||
| They used to bring so much gold with them that it killed their boat. | ||
| Poisoned them from the inside. | ||
| Imagine that? | ||
| You just got hundreds and hundreds of pounds of gold. | ||
| There's another movie he's in that actually came out last year that's sort of about it, too, where he goes to somewhere like in Thailand, and they know the spot where the prospectors are going to dig all the gold out of the mountains. | ||
| Same kind of thing, but it's not in the ocean. | ||
| Pretty dope. | ||
| Wasn't as good. | ||
| You know what was good that I liked that a lot of people did not like? | ||
| The Dark Tower. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's not good, right? | ||
| That Idris Elba guy, he can sell me anything. | ||
| I'm buying it. | ||
| He's a guy that you believe is a legit badass but also can act. | ||
| I believed him in this movie. | ||
| It was a wacky movie. | ||
| It's very wacky. | ||
| It's always wacky when you have a Stephen King book and you try to make a movie out of it. | ||
| Does he have a British accent in it? | ||
| No, not quite, but he has like some sort of a noble accent, like the way he talks, you know? | ||
| Like, I do not aim with my hand. | ||
| To aim with your hand is to forget the face of your father. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| You know, it was like, intense, weird world that they live in in this movie. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| But I enjoyed the shit out of it. | ||
| You know, when you watch a movie that's a Stephen King book, you gotta realize, like, they have to abbreviate the fuck out of this. | ||
| Like, this is a complex story that gets woven into all these different places. | ||
| And you've got to condense that to an hour and a half to make it palatable for a movie. | ||
| It's very hard to do. | ||
| It's almost like Game of Thrones have made movies obsolete. | ||
| It's like movies are clunky. | ||
| They're like CDs. | ||
| Why are you carrying out CDs? | ||
| Do you don't have a phone? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| I think the same way about Game of Thrones. | ||
| I can't get into it. | ||
| I'm like, God damn, I'd rather watch... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you! | |
| Fuck you, man! | ||
| I heard that The Punisher, the guy, John Berndahl, I don't know how to say his last name. | ||
| He said it's a 13-episode movie, like a 13-hour movie. | ||
| It's how it's supposed to be watched or consumed, sort of. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That guy's a good fucking actor. | ||
| That guy was great in The Walking Dead. | ||
| He was fucking great as the best friend who wants to fuck the wife and then turns into a zombie. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Are you still watching that? | ||
| No, I gave up, man. | ||
| I gave up. | ||
| Now I read people getting mad about episodes. | ||
| I'm like, no, no, no. | ||
| What shows are you watching right now? | ||
| What's some shows that you would never think, just like a reality show? | ||
| Dude, I don't watch anything like that, but I do watch Ozark. | ||
| That's the shit. | ||
| That Netflix show, Ozarks? | ||
| Or Ozark? | ||
| Ozark. | ||
| Just Ozark. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And Stranger Things. | ||
| Ozark is a, like, I don't want to give too much of it away, but it's Jason Bateman, and it's this... | ||
| It's like a... | ||
| It's like a drama, but based on financial shit. | ||
| That's all I want to give away. | ||
| I don't want to give away anything. | ||
| But it's fucking crazy good. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| And it's fucking wild, man. | ||
| Like, wild shit happens in this show. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| I don't want to give away too much of it, but it's about money laundering and the guy's like a legit financier and he gets himself in a bad situation. | ||
| It's a fucking good show, man. | ||
| That show got me. | ||
| I watched the last five episodes all in a row. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's a good fucking show. | ||
| Is it pulling you in fast? | ||
| Is it one of those that pull you in fast or you have to give it some time? | ||
| Um, you know what, man? | ||
| It got me like five minutes in. | ||
| I don't want to say how. | ||
| First episode's good. | ||
| Yeah, first episode of good shit. | ||
| Like right away, you go, what? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| I mean, they just, they start off like a Quentin Tarantino movie. | ||
| I mean, it's guns blazing. | ||
| I don't want to say too much. | ||
| I'm going to stop right there. | ||
| I'm going to stop right there because it's good. | ||
| Um, Stranger Things. | ||
| Stranger Things is fucking awesome. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| I should love that. | ||
| It is great. | ||
| You gotta go to a doctor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| It's too cheesy for me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's supposed to be cheesy, you piece of shit. | ||
| I know, I know, but it's like they're just copying everything I love and making it better. | ||
| Making it better and making it better. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| What do you like? | ||
| I like stupid shit. | ||
| Like Fixer Upper. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's where they buy these houses in Waco, Texas for like $50,000 and they spend $100,000 and they make it like this huge mansion. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| I like Fixer Upper shows. | ||
| You don't like stuff like that? | ||
| No, I do. | ||
| I like those. | ||
| There's something satisfying about those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Adam Carolla's show was good. | ||
| Satisfying. | ||
| Well, he would bust people, but then they'd fix it. | ||
| He'd bust people that were, like, shitty carpenters, that were, like, bad contractors, that were doing terrible jobs on people's houses. | ||
| That's a cool show, too. | ||
| I mean, when I was a kid, I always watched This Old House with Bob Vila and all that shit. | ||
| I prefer the positive shows, though, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't want to watch all these contractors that are, like, ripping people off. | |
| I like Chef Gordon Ramsay shit. | ||
| You don't like Chef Gordon Ramsay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do. | |
| I love that motherfucker. | ||
| I do. | ||
| He gets very upset about food. | ||
| But I think that the style of show that I like is when they take a house and then they redo it. | ||
| Those are my favorite ones. | ||
| This show is really cool because it's a husband and wife, and she's just a badass designer. | ||
| She'll take her paint style and how she mixes stuff is very, very cool. | ||
| And so these houses, it makes you depressed living in L.A. when you're like, I can't buy a house $50,000 anywhere in Los Angeles at all. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| So it's amazing to see that exist still. | ||
| Well, if you want to live in the pile... | ||
| Space is expensive because there's not as much of it. | ||
| That's the craziest thing is New York City. | ||
| You know, New York City, they have apartments that are $20 million. | ||
| And it's an apartment. | ||
| You're like, wait a minute. | ||
| It's not an apartment apartment. | ||
| No, it's an apartment. | ||
| You have an apartment. | ||
| You have a great view. | ||
| It's a great view. | ||
| But it's a fucking apartment. | ||
| And it costs $20 million. | ||
| Like, wait a minute. | ||
| How many people are in the building with me? | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| No, really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're in the top floor, there's thousands of people, and you're all in a giant metal and concrete box. | ||
| That'll be 20 million, please. | ||
| Like, what in the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Who wants to live like that? | ||
| If you have a pet, is it like $1.2 million a month? | ||
| You have to pay extra because you have a dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not that much. | |
| I think you might have exaggerated. | ||
| No, I think if you're buying it, you own it. | ||
| But if you're renting it, I bet there's a lot of places that won't want to rent. | ||
| If you have a dog, the dog winds up fucking things up. | ||
| Dogs always bite things and shit on places and piss on things they're not supposed to. | ||
| I'm dealing with that now. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| It's hard to imagine. | ||
| That that's the right way to live. | ||
| I bet it's exciting as fuck. | ||
| I bet living in a giant apartment in New York City and peep peep and everywhere you go, you're just overwhelmed by giant numbers of people. | ||
| It must be exciting as fuck. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| It's like you're in the middle of the high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| But I just don't think that leaves you a lot of time for quiet and reflection. | ||
| I mean, you can force yourself into a room and shut the door, but I think this is just a theory, but I really think we need a certain amount of actual space between each other to relax. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| This is just my feeling. | ||
| I feel like if I go over to someone's house and they live in the country and I go sit out on their porch, it's just like... | ||
| Why don't I live like this? | ||
| How come I don't live like this? | ||
| Is this how you're supposed to live? | ||
| Like, this feels great. | ||
| Like, you go, you look, you see fucking rolling hills, and you see birds and shit. | ||
| Like, this feels great. | ||
| Like, you see the trees, you see water dripping off of them, and the sunlight's peeking through the leaves, and you go, God, this feels so good. | ||
| Like, why don't I see this all the time? | ||
| Instead of, baby, fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Go back to your fucking country queer! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Fucking smoke and farts and cigarettes and people smell like Drakkar. | ||
| What have we done? | ||
| Pissing in the streets. | ||
| Garbage bags piled up. | ||
| Ripped at the bottom. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| Guy picks it up. | ||
| Some of it falls out. | ||
| They drive on. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Or... | ||
| Just sitting, chilling. | ||
| Just sitting on some soft grass. | ||
| You're back against a tree. | ||
| Just sitting there. | ||
| Feels better than on some stupid-ass fucking park bench watching some wino eat his own shit. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I do not understand how people do it. | ||
| Ari loves it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He talked to Ari about New York City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| It's the best. | ||
| It's the best thing ever. | ||
| I'm living there until I die. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| Fuck the winter, though. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He bails every winter. | ||
| Fuck you, New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll see you dummies later. | |
| He comes to LA. He lives here for three months, then he goes back. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's a fucking funny shit, man. | ||
| It's the way to do it. | ||
| It's a funny way to do it. | ||
| I mean, I think he's going to do some wintertime, but that wintertime did dunk it in solid. | ||
| Is he back yet? | ||
| He's back. | ||
| He's back. | ||
| We had him for a little while and we lost him. | ||
| Now he's back. | ||
| He's coming in. | ||
| We're doing a shrimp parade. | ||
| Christopher Ryan, him and me. | ||
| Yeah, I knew Duncan would be back. | ||
| I knew he would be back, too! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't want to say it! | |
| I don't want to say it! | ||
| But I'm just like, that winter is a different thing, man. | ||
| You're either used to it or you're not. | ||
| And if you're not, you better change. | ||
| You better change your expectations for the way you interface with the world. | ||
| Because if you're not wearing a certain amount of clothing, you're going to fucking die, okay? | ||
| Get your kids, bundle them up, know you can't wear sneakers, know you have to wear socks, okay? | ||
| It's fucking zero out! | ||
| Zero! | ||
| And the streets are all covered with black ice, so we can't walk very fast. | ||
| And cars are going to be sliding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, ah! | |
| They can't stop. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| You get knocked around like bowling balls. | ||
| That's real shit. | ||
| That's real winter stuff. | ||
| Like, you tried shoveling your way out of your apartment building, and you're like, wait a minute, what? | ||
| What? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You can't drive anywhere. | ||
| Snow's stacked up on the sides. | ||
| There's nowhere to put it. | ||
| Like, you better be ready for this. | ||
| Your feet are cold? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Wanna go back? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, let's go back. | |
| Let's go back. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| Never again. | ||
| I'll tell you what, dude. | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| I like it when I go into snow now, too. | ||
| Like, one of the things that I like, I don't even really like skiing that much, but I like being in the snow. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| I like this feeling like, hey, we barely got this one under control. | ||
| Barely. | ||
| Like, you can go out, but you gotta be wearing down and shit all bundled up. | ||
| You gotta have things over your little fucking bullshit fleshy digits. | ||
| These little soft bitch-ass hands of yours. | ||
| Those things break off. | ||
| They freeze. | ||
| They freeze and they turn black and snap off. | ||
| Your feet. | ||
| If you keep your feet too cold, your feet, you lose your feet. | ||
| They hack your toes off and shit. | ||
| You get frostbite. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| People lose toes. | ||
| People lose ears. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Frostbite's no joke, man. | ||
| Frostbite kills your skin. | ||
| Like, that's a wrap. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| You want gangrene? | ||
| No, we gotta chop this piece off. | ||
| This piece is done. | ||
| That happens to people. | ||
| That doesn't happen out here. | ||
| Except for a cryo chamber or whatever. | ||
| That's only one girl ever and she fell asleep. | ||
| That is a very unfortunate story. | ||
| She was apparently working there and she did it to herself. | ||
| She set the machine up for herself alone and she was too short and the nitrogen got into her lungs. | ||
| She was like breathing it in. | ||
| She wasn't breathing in air and she blacked out. | ||
| Horrible, horrible, horrible story. | ||
| Ooh, just hearing it makes your fucking whole body clench up. | ||
| Ooh, what a way to die. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Frozen to death in a cryo chamber. | ||
| Have you seen this map going around? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| This little county right here is Los Angeles. | ||
| There's more people in this county than these other 41 states. | ||
| Together? | ||
| Not combined, but each of them. | ||
| None of them are more populous than this little tiny place. | ||
| That's craziness. | ||
| I think that's only with the 10 million official population count. | ||
| Yeah, we're a mad hub of people, son. | ||
| Yeah, it's so crazy. | ||
| 526 square miles, which isn't even that big, I feel like. | ||
| I mean, it looks big. | ||
| Okay, we keep talking. | ||
| Where are we going? | ||
| Where are we going? | ||
| Where do we go? | ||
| If we're gonna bust a move? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Dude, I say Seattle. | ||
| Still need good internet. | ||
| Yeah, Seattle might be the spot. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because you get like a little bit of weather, you go, hey bitch, listen, you better appreciate June, okay? | ||
| You better appreciate July, because November's gonna roll around just like it did last year, and everyone's gonna be depressed, okay? | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| So if you go out in Seattle in like August, people are so happy. | ||
| What about Oregon? | ||
| Because it's in between the mother hubs of Google and Amazon. | ||
| It's not a bad spot. | ||
| Right between them. | ||
| You know, I think the move is Eugene. | ||
| We move in next to Dan Carlin and Cameron Haynes. | ||
| Climb that mountain. | ||
| Climb that mountain all the time. | ||
| Santa Barbara. | ||
| That's a good goddamn spot. | ||
| That's a good goddamn spot. | ||
| It's like LA light. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And it's good wine and places to go. | ||
| Yeah, nice people. | ||
| Yeah, I like Santa Barbara. | ||
| It's a chill beach, too. | ||
| You go to that beach, people are super friendly. | ||
| Cute zoo. | ||
| Yeah, man, that's a good spot. | ||
| Santa Barbara might be the perfect spot. | ||
| It's a good spot. | ||
| Shit, I shouldn't have told everybody. | ||
| They're gonna run up there. | ||
| I heard we should move to Santa Barbara, bro! | ||
| The problem with Seattle is that we're from Ohio where it's gray sky every day. | ||
| In Seattle, I think it's going to be kind of like that. | ||
| I think there's way too many gray skies. | ||
| Here's the thing though. | ||
| Are you willing to trade some gray skies for cooler people? | ||
| I'm not saying everybody in Seattle is cooler than everybody in LA. I love people in LA. I'm not saying that. | ||
| This is just my opinion, and this might not be right, but I have a feeling that you develop more character in an environment where your comfort is tested. | ||
| I think if you live in a cold environment, Where it's cold in the winter, if you live anywhere where it really rains and you get soaked and you hear the thunder outside, there's a humbling to that experience that people that live in LA just don't fucking get. | ||
| And it's one of the reasons why people in a lot of these other states get annoyed at some of the attitudes that people in LA have. | ||
| It's because we're not experiencing anything other than traffic. | ||
| Like, these people get snowed on every year. | ||
| Every year they're digging themselves out. | ||
| We're like, yeah, well, what the fuck, man? | ||
| I'm stuck in traffic. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Like, if you don't have any... | ||
| Like, it's one day it got too hot and you had to turn the fan on. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| You gonna be okay? | ||
| You're gonna be okay. | ||
| Just drink water and go buy ice at the store. | ||
| Like, you're gonna live. | ||
| Even if it sucks, you're gonna sweat a lot, drink a lot of water, you're gonna live. | ||
| It's 110. Stay inside, stay in the shade. | ||
| You're gonna live. | ||
| It's gonna suck, but you're gonna live. | ||
| You might not live if you're living in Chicago, and you're an old lady, and your power goes out, and you're stuck in your house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Look at that traffic. | ||
| Did you see the traffic last night of everyone coming home? | ||
| It was just as bad. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's a video. | ||
| It says, Thanksgiving traffic, Los Angeles 405 Freeway at complete standstill. | ||
| And it is fucking miles. | ||
| I mean, miles and miles and miles of people that are looking to go five miles an hour in either direction. | ||
| And one sight is red because of the rear lights and the other one's white because of the headlights. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That video is crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck this place. | ||
| We gotta go! | ||
| I'm ready. | ||
| Where do we go? | ||
| Just tell me when I'm... | ||
| Where do we go? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Where do we go? | ||
| I'm up for Seattle or Santa Barbara. | ||
| Maybe we should go to Arizona. | ||
| No. | ||
| Maybe go right next to where the wall's being built. | ||
| That'd be a party. | ||
| I know it's still like, we saw the sunny days in Denver, but does it get cold there? | ||
| In Denver? | ||
| Like, below zero? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it definitely can. | ||
| The thing about Denver is it's super flexible. | ||
| Denver will go to zero, you'll get nine degrees for a few days, and then it'll be 60. It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Because you're, like, way up high. | ||
| You know, you're literally at a mile high. | ||
| I think Denver is 5,000 feet above sea level, 5,500. | ||
| It's exactly a mile. | ||
| Yeah, so it's a very high city. | ||
| When you're talking about, in a lot of other words too, it's a very interesting place, It's a different spot. | ||
| Because, like, Denver, they're in this weird, like, combination world, right? | ||
| This is the way I put Denver. | ||
| Like, you have the city that's, like, a real city. | ||
| You have the Comedy Works, which is one of the best comedy clubs in the world. | ||
| They have two Comedy Works there. | ||
| I think they have an improv there, too. | ||
| Don't they have a Denver improv? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've never heard of it. | ||
| They have an improv everywhere, those fuckers. | ||
| They're out there... | ||
| They're constantly bringing the funny to the people. | ||
| Yeah, they're everywhere. | ||
| The improvs are everywhere, right? | ||
| But Denver has, like, everything. | ||
| It has restaurants. | ||
| It has, like, a real urban life. | ||
| It's like real cities, real buildings and shit. | ||
| And then on top of that, you're right next to the goddamn Rocky Mountains. | ||
| Like, you look out the window. | ||
| Like, we were just there the other day. | ||
| Me and Tony did a gig at the Velco. | ||
| And when we were driving, I was like, dude, look at that. | ||
| That's right there. | ||
| That's the Rocky Mountains. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| Like, these fucking people are staring at the Continental Divide. | ||
| I mean, they're just looking at the Rocky Mountains. | ||
| You could just go, you could drive up to the top of the hills, like, uh, up near Netherland and shit like that, and see these, like, quaint towns that still exist on dirt roads into the woods, and you're like, whoa! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| I'd probably do Denver. | ||
| That would be the only place that had snow I would move to. | ||
| That's the spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Denver's the spot. | ||
| Seattle? | ||
| My God. | ||
| Might go with a good quake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good quake. | ||
| Or that volcano. | ||
| Yeah, the volcano could blow. | ||
| Mount St. Helens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Volcano could blow. | ||
| Tsunami. | ||
| There was some tsunami shit about Seattle that was in the newspaper a few years ago that was actually causing a drop in real estate in Seattle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because people are like, wait, what? | ||
| Like, they were talking about how someday, in the next hundred years, a giant earthquake and tsunami is going to level Seattle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You can't just say that! | ||
| I'm trying to sell my house! | ||
| The disaster waiting to happen at the Northwest... | ||
| Huh. | ||
| See if you can find the article. | ||
| Like, the article was something about... | ||
| Goddammit, if I can remember... | ||
| Earthquake and tsunami, what is it? | ||
| Hmm, I don't think so. | ||
| Experts say on the really big one, here's what will actually happen. | ||
| That might be it. | ||
| Anyway, point being, scared the fuck out of everybody because it was one of those stories. | ||
| There was kind of like one person reported on it and then it went around. | ||
| You know those like you get them on Digg or something like that. | ||
| And then you go to Twitter, someone will have it. | ||
| It'll be linked to another website. | ||
| You go and check it. | ||
| You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Is this really happening? | ||
| Seattle going under? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And like out of nowhere. | ||
| But we might lose Seattle. | ||
| So let's think this through. | ||
| Yeah, let's take Seattle off the list. | ||
| How much are you scared of Bears? | ||
| Alright, Toronto. | ||
| See, if you're not scared of bears, the move is Montana. | ||
| Montana's the move. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because Montana's like Denver with less people. | ||
| Like, you've got an airport. | ||
| If you're willing to give up a day, you've got an airport, you can get out. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You've got to give up an extra day, though, for travel. | ||
| Because you've got to get out and fly somewhere, and then from there you fly out. | ||
| And so, like, the odds of you doing a show that night, you really probably couldn't do it. | ||
| You'd probably have to leave Thursday for a Friday night show. | ||
| But you get back the same day. | ||
| Same weather? | ||
| Yeah, but bears. | ||
| Like the big kind. | ||
| The kind that eat people. | ||
| Grizzly bears. | ||
| But super cool people. | ||
| What do you do out there every day? | ||
| You start a fly fishing camp. | ||
| Why are you laughing? | ||
| Why is that the first thing? | ||
| Because fly fishing is awesome, and you can do it there. | ||
| It's a great place to do it. | ||
| I'm in at night. | ||
| At night, you sleep, and you put a gun right by your bed in case the wolves come. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Because they have wolves, too. | ||
| They have wolves. | ||
| Did you see Rock's new movie that has the 30-foot wolf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yeah, it's a perfect movie for him. | ||
| I'm very excited to see it. | ||
| Did you see his new tattoo? | ||
| Nicky Hurtado made this fucking dope bull skull. | ||
| He used to have that bull on his arm, and he updated it with this insane bull skull that Nicky Hurtado made. | ||
| Here, make that larger so we can see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That's sweet. | ||
| That is an insane tattoo, man. | ||
| I mean, and the old tattoo is still in it. | ||
| See it? | ||
| How the old tattoo is like the cracks now? | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| Yeah, he made the old tattoo like a part of the new tattoo. | ||
| I mean, it is fucking dope. | ||
| And it doesn't, like, you have to look at it to know the old tattoo is in there because he's turned it into these cracks in the bones of the bison skull. | ||
| Fuck, man, it's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or the bull skull, whatever it is. | |
| That guy's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| You ever seen his tattoos? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pull up some of his tattoos. | ||
| Go to his Instagram page. | ||
| His fucking tattoo work is amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He does all kinds of weird shit and a lot of, like, photographic stuff where he'll have, like, a photograph of, you know, Elvira or some shit. | ||
| And it'll just, like, perfect. | ||
| I don't know why I said Elvira. | ||
| Go to Nico Hurtada's... | ||
| This is his page. | ||
| Oh, but go to his page. | ||
| Did I say Nicky? | ||
| It's Nico. | ||
| Sorry, Nico. | ||
| Are you done with tattoos? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Blow her back? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to do a tramp stamp. | ||
| I'm going to have her on my back. | ||
| The Game of Thrones lady? | ||
| Queen of Dragons. | ||
| Mother of Dragons. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| How dope is his artwork though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweet. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Dude, his artwork's insane. | ||
| Where's he from? | ||
| He's a California guy. | ||
| Look at the lips on that thing. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| What is that woman supposed to be? | ||
| Is she a demon or something? | ||
| She's got a skull. | ||
| Wow, it's amazing. | ||
| When you zoom in on it, you see how good the details are? | ||
| He's incredible. | ||
| Good style. | ||
| But, I mean, there's so many really good tattoo artists now. | ||
| I mean, this is a weird time for the art form because it's, for whatever reason, I guess probably a lot of those tattoo shows in specific, they made it, seems like more, people understand it more as an art form, you know? | ||
| Like, you have more, like, legit, world-class artists. | ||
| World-class is a weird way to put it, but... | ||
| Legit, talented, super talented artists that decide to become tattoo artists. | ||
| You know? | ||
| See this thing? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Temporary tattoo printer on your arm machine. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if they last as long as a temporary tattoo, which isn't very long at all, but it's full color and probably just works off a JPEG or something, so you could try out things. | ||
| And how long does it last for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I was guessing as long as a temporary tattoo, but I feel like it's a little bit longer. | ||
| It's like a stamp, it says. | ||
| It might say, but better. | ||
| But better. | ||
| What? | ||
| Design your own tattoo on the app. | ||
| Oh man, we're getting little kids. | ||
| This is indoctrination! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're trying to get these kids to accept the numbers when they come and collect us all for camps! | |
| What was he saying the other day about... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Robots! | |
| Was that what it was? | ||
| You said something. | ||
| You tweeted him back. | ||
| I was like, LOL, what? | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| I love that guy, but sometimes he says shit that I just go, what? | ||
| You need someone like me next to you all the time. | ||
| That's what Alex Jones needs. | ||
| He just needs me to go, hey man, what? | ||
| Stop, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| That might not be it. | ||
| Some people need a rudder. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And by the way, if I'm your rudder, you've got a serious fucking problem. | ||
| You've got a serious fucking problem. | ||
| I was hoping that Flat Earther was going to, like, shoot himself to the moon. | ||
| Yeah, I was waiting. | ||
| I was so excited for this. | ||
| Apparently he's done it before. | ||
| He shot himself, like, 160 miles into space or something. | ||
| God. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, he did. | ||
| I think he did shoot himself like 1.6 miles into the air. | ||
| Something ridiculous in the past. | ||
| And he recovered. | ||
| It took him like several days to recover from the G-forces. | ||
| I do believe that this is something that was in the article. | ||
| It might be something he said. | ||
| He might just be crazy. | ||
| Yeah, he's trying to be like Evel Knievel. | ||
| He was trying to do a bunch of different things, and he jumped onto the flat earth thing about a year ago to gain money, he said. | ||
| That's what I read. | ||
| He's trying to jump a limo over a fucking gorge, some dumb shit like that. | ||
| Wait a minute, how do you know? | ||
| Oh, yes they do, son of a bitch. | ||
| I read the article about it when it first was coming out last week. | ||
| Yeah, you know what, I read one of the craziest fucking arguments someone said, one of the Flat Earth proponents said about it. | ||
| This is going around apparently, so forgive me if you've heard this, but the idea that a ship doesn't really disappear over the horizon, that you could always zoom in on it if you just have enough of a powerful lens in your camera. | ||
| So they think that that, in some way, is proof that the Earth is flat. | ||
| That's just proof of how far you can see. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| You don't understand. | ||
| The curve of the Earth, it takes forever. | ||
| It's fucking huge. | ||
| I get what people are doing. | ||
| Like, how come if you zoom out, you can see? | ||
| Well, you can't forever. | ||
| That's why you can't see Mount Kilimanjaro from your fucking living room in Santa Monica, dipshit. | ||
| It's a curve to it. | ||
| It just takes a long ass time and you can't see the boat long before it goes over the curve. | ||
| Because unless you're talking about a giant ass boat, and even a giant ass boat at 30 miles away, which is where you'd still be able to see some of it. | ||
| That's too far for your eyes. | ||
| So if you zoom in with some sort of a crazy spotting scope or something like that, yeah, you'll be able to see it for a little while. | ||
| And then in another couple hours, it'll be gone. | ||
| It's going to go over the top. | ||
| But they want it to be real so bad. | ||
| They want it to be real so bad that they come up with these things that aren't true as examples why the Earth is flat. | ||
|
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And the big one was, how come every photo of the Earth from space is a composite? | |
| You didn't even bother to look into it. | ||
| Because that's not true. | ||
| There's a fucking satellite that takes a high-resolution photo of the Earth something like every ten minutes. | ||
| It's the Himawari 8. It's a Japanese satellite. | ||
| You can go online. | ||
| You can look at the pictures. | ||
| It shows where every fucking storm cloud is all over the country in real time. | ||
| So if there's a storm that's hitting Cuba, you go to that, you look at that image from that day where the storm is, you'll see the fucking storm. | ||
| Like, it's all real. | ||
| If you don't believe that's real, do you believe that someone is so good at hiding shit that they've kept all the images of the flat earth from ever being published? | ||
| That no one has been able to, in the history of people, has been able to travel past the ice wall into the nether region of hobbits and gnomes and pixie elves. | ||
| It's just mental health. | ||
| You know, we have a huge problem. | ||
| It's lack of education. | ||
| It's lack of education. | ||
| And then it's also being committed to these ideas to the point where they're a part of you. | ||
| It's idea identity politics. | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| When you believe in an idea so much that you don't, and I've been guilty of this, and I think everybody has at one point in your life, you've been guilty of not really looking at it for what it is, but instead looking at it for what you want it to be and for what you've already committed yourself to believing in. | ||
| That's a big part of the problem. | ||
| A big part of the problem with people is you commit yourself to believing in something. | ||
| And then when you commit yourself to believing in something, anything that's contrary to that belief gets fought viciously. | ||
| You shut it down. | ||
| You interrupt by all means necessary. | ||
| You mock it. | ||
| You deride it. | ||
| You don't examine it objectively. | ||
| You don't look at it objectively. | ||
| You just look for a way to shoot it down. | ||
| Look for a way to shit on it. | ||
| Look for a way... | ||
| Fall back on the government lies all the time. | ||
| I never believed them. | ||
| Fall back on all these different positions. | ||
| But at the end of the day, if you look at it from just like, well, okay, what's the most likely thing? | ||
| The most likely thing is it's round. | ||
| They've figured it out. | ||
| They know it's round. | ||
| You can see it from space. | ||
| They've taken pictures of it. | ||
| People have absolutely flying in the space station. | ||
| There's videos of the fucking thing landing out of the sky, People pulling people out of the water. | ||
| They've seen. | ||
| They've gone into space. | ||
| They've taken pictures. | ||
| This is all real. | ||
| They're satellites. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| If you get satellite radio, it's real. | ||
| It's really from a satellite. | ||
| When you get DirecTV, it's real. | ||
| It's in space. | ||
| It's orbiting the fucking Earth. | ||
| There's flight patterns that are carefully calculated that are going around the Earth. | ||
| Everybody would have to be lying. | ||
| Do you understand how crazy it is? | ||
| I'm with you on a lot of conspiracies. | ||
| I'm with you on Operation Northwoods. | ||
| I'm with you on the Gulf of Tonkin. | ||
| Shit, you get me high enough, I'll go Area 51 on you. | ||
| I'll go Bob Lazar. | ||
| I'll go deep on some, who the fuck knows, wacky shit. | ||
| Until you get to the earth being fat. | ||
| And that's when I go, you're just chasing your tail. | ||
| You're chasing your fucking tail. | ||
| Angry little pricks calling me a shill. | ||
|
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They're just trolls. | |
| Jamie, you got your round earth shill shirt on. | ||
|
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What a perfect advertisement show. | |
| Youngjamie.com. | ||
| Youngjamie.com. | ||
| Get yourself a round earth shill t-shirt, folks. | ||
| I have one. | ||
|
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I wear it all the time. | |
| I'm shipping by Christmas. | ||
| And they're very soft cotton. | ||
| Feels wonderful on the skin. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's almost like a troll. | ||
| It's not, man! | ||
| I'm telling you, I used to think that too. | ||
| It started out as a troll. | ||
| This is what I think happened. | ||
| I think it became an exercise in psychology. | ||
| From what I've understood, and I might be wrong, but from what little I've done poking around about this, it seems like this might have started on 4chan. | ||
| And it might have started as a joke. | ||
| That there's always been a certain percentage of people That believed that the world was flat. | ||
| There's always a certain percentage. | ||
| Just like there's a certain percentage of Moonies. | ||
| There's a certain percentage of people that, you know, are Satan worshippers. | ||
| People just, there's wacky beliefs. | ||
| And people get attached to these wacky beliefs and they fucking cling to them. | ||
| And whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever the belief is. | ||
| There's a certain percentage of people that have always thought the earth was flat. | ||
| But then, what I read was that someone on 4chan started trolling. | ||
| And that by trolling and trying to post this fake evidence about the world being flat, a bunch of people bought it. | ||
| And they ran with it. | ||
| And not only did they run with it, they started to ramp it up and add things to it, and flat earth theory became a thing. | ||
| And these people all decided that this was like a legitimate pursuit. | ||
| That there is some Illuminati, some group of Jews, it's always Jews, that are hiding all the information. | ||
| That somehow or another they've talked to all the map makers, all the people that work in commercial shipping, all the people that are flying airplanes, All the people that are making satellites, anyone in aerospace, all these fucking people, all these people, all these people are all together and they're all lying. | ||
| Okay, and I am too. | ||
| Or maybe, just listen to this, maybe you're chasing your fucking tail and you're confusing the shit out of some people that are dumber than you because of your inability to look at what it is versus what you want it to be. | ||
| You heard me. | ||
| I'm not right about everything. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm right about this. | ||
| There's no fucking reason why someone would lie about the shape of the planet. | ||
| There's no benefit in it. | ||
| There's no reason why anybody would conceal that information. | ||
| There's no benefit. | ||
| If someone found out the Earth was flat, they would be fucking singing it from the rooftops. | ||
| Any real scientist. | ||
| Any real person who's been in the space station. | ||
| Any real person who's flying the space shuttle. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| I know you're like, you don't know them. | ||
| I've met them. | ||
| I had that Chris Conrad guy. | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
| Chris Hatfield. | ||
| Chris Hatfield. | ||
| Forget his fucking name. | ||
| Commander Chris. | ||
| I blame the weed. | ||
| Chris Hatfield. | ||
| He was wonderful. | ||
| He was in space for a long time. | ||
| He was talking about the effects of it when he came down and how bad it fucked up his body. | ||
| That was a fascinating podcast. | ||
| I remember I think I got like 40 minutes with him and then he had to go. | ||
| It was like one of those quick little things and he was amazing. | ||
| You're talking to a guy that's been circling the fucking planet in a metal box. | ||
| No, that's not real. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| No, it is real. | ||
| This is the reason why your phone works. | ||
| Understand this? | ||
| The people, this is what's ironic. | ||
| The people that are doubting the highest minds and the most competent technological innovators in the world, like the most competent people are the people that are involved in like aerospace, airplane construction, jet construction, Cell phones, computers, those are the people that are at the top of the fucking heap. | ||
| And these apes that are using these devices to say that the world is flat, you're doing just what a massive disservice you're doing to the very minds that have created the thing that you're using to complain. | ||
| With this ridiculous idea that someone's hiding the information from all the people because they don't want you to know that the world is like your phone, man. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I want to believe Bigfoot's real. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I want to believe. | ||
| If you show me some fucking half-assed Bigfoot footage, I'll watch it three, four times in a row. | ||
| I'll go one day, maybe, maybe, maybe, hey, maybe, you never know. | ||
| There's a lot of parts of the world we never go to, you know, somewhere deep in the Congo. | ||
| I wouldn't be surprised, right? | ||
| I want to believe, but I'm also objective. | ||
| You gotta be both. | ||
| I know you want to believe the Earth is flat. | ||
| I'm super sorry, but it appears to be round as fuck. | ||
| Just like every other planet we've ever looked at. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Imagine how crazy it'd be if Earth was flat. | ||
| Well, here's the problem with this idea, you fucking dummies. | ||
| A lot of the people behind this idea believe that it was created by God, like on a pizza tray. | ||
| Like, that this is part of a religious belief, is that God made this flat Earth in the cosmos, and it's all about us. | ||
| This is part of it. | ||
| This is connected to your group. | ||
| Joe, you're so arrogant with your idea. | ||
| No, I'm fucking dumb, okay? | ||
| But I'm smart enough to know the world is round. | ||
| Crazy assholes. | ||
| Have you talked about net neutrality? | ||
| Net neutrality? | ||
| Net neutrality. | ||
| You know, I saw Mark Cuban saying positive things about net neutrality. | ||
| And I was really surprised. | ||
| But then I realized he's a rich old white guy. | ||
| And if I was a rich white guy, I'd be like, listen, we don't need regulation. | ||
| We take care of it ourselves. | ||
| We clean up our own neighborhood. | ||
| He also has a lot of money, so no matter how much it costs, he doesn't give a shit, you know? | ||
| There's that, for sure. | ||
| But then, he was making some arguments that I'm too fucking stupid to know whether or not he's right. | ||
| You know, I've heard the arguments against it, and I think those make the most sense. | ||
| But apparently there's some big business people... | ||
| I get you hippies. | ||
| You're like, yeah, of course they are. | ||
| Those fucking assholes, they never have enough money. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But also, you've got to let them do their thing. | ||
| You've got to let them do their thing. | ||
| I don't know who's right, and I would love to hear a really educated, objective analysis on whether or not that enhances competition or hurts it, whether or not that's good for business or bad for it. | ||
| Most of the stuff that I read says it's bad for it, but I need to look at it really closely. | ||
| It's definitely letting them censor the internet. | ||
| What is the exact restrictions? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Um, it's up to the ISPs to be like, hey, you want this website? | ||
| We might give it to you. | ||
| So they can start editing stuff. | ||
| Say, as an example, Viacom, who is owned by Time Warner or whatever. | ||
| Say, like, something comes out against the CEO of Time Warner. | ||
| They can actually go in and edit the internet where it's not as... | ||
| See, right now it's free. | ||
| You can do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| No one's editing it, really, you know, unless it's, like, pedo websites or something like that. | ||
| But, uh... | ||
| So it's going to be like in the future, like we're China. | ||
| If they don't want you to go to MySpace, China will be like, MySpace off. | ||
| Dude, I was reading about a Vietnamese blogger today who was sentenced for seven years in jail. | ||
| A 22-year-old Vietnamese blogger. | ||
| It was in the New York Times. | ||
| He was writing about an oil spill, and they said that he was talking negative and doing propaganda against the state. | ||
| They locked him in jail for seven years. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| For doing journalism on an oil spill. | ||
| And for pointing the blame at the government or whoever the fuck was responsible for the oil spill. | ||
|
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Jesus. | |
| 10 years. | ||
| They locked them in jail for 10 years? | ||
| Because somebody wrote an article. | ||
| No, different one. | ||
| That's the girl, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's a girl. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| She's from earlier in the year. | ||
| I went deep. | ||
| Dude, they're locking bloggers up over there. | ||
| Vietnam, apparently they have... | ||
| Great good issues with like gay rights and you know a lot of progressive ideas that we subscribe to in this country But they do not tolerate criticism like it's it's apparently in that way very totalitarian and that if you do criticize them in the form of like Propaganda like blogs against them they'll lock you in a fucking cage for like a decade It's scary. | ||
| We've got to really appreciate... | ||
| This is one of the reasons why... | ||
| I mean, I don't know if Trump understands this. | ||
| I guess he does, but he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| I think his idea is like, you're going against me, fuck it, I'm going against you. | ||
| Fuck you, CNN. You know, I get it. | ||
| But by just completely deriding them like that, you run this risk of getting to a position where there's not this objective, powerful force that's watching over the President and reporting on all of his actions, right? | ||
| There's a chart that I read today, though, that was a little disturbing. | ||
| And it was like a truth chart. | ||
| And it was like, how many times CNN has said things that were not true? | ||
| How many times does it have to correct itself? | ||
| How many times did they say things that are true? | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| I don't know if it's right. | ||
| I don't know if that... | ||
| That might have been some horseshit that I read, but if it was right, I was like, whoa, are they wrong that often? | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| Well, any news, especially when it has breaking news, at least they're correcting themselves, where, like, our president won't correct himself ever. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Maybe that's what they mean by being incorrect. | ||
| That, like, you know, the latest report says... | ||
| But, see, that's just what the latest report says. | ||
| Like, the latest report might not be correct... | ||
| But if you say that's the latest report, you're not wrong. | ||
| You just don't have the right information. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think everyone knows that when you're watching the news, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like if something happens, like some crazy shooter type situation, right? | ||
|
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Right. | |
| It's just very dangerous when you see the president and the free press going after each other like that. | ||
| Somebody tweeted today, this morning about it. | ||
|
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What? | |
| He said we should have a contest as to which of the networks, plus CNN and not including Fox, is the most dishonest, corrupt, and or distorted in its political coverage of your favorite president, in parentheses, me. | ||
| They're all bad. | ||
| Winner to receive the fake news trophy in all caps. | ||
| That's our fucking president. | ||
| Wow, that's so weird. | ||
| This is so weird because here's what's weird. | ||
| It's not weird to think this, but to broadcast that, to write that down, and to put that on, that's like, that's crazy. | ||
| That's a crazy thought. | ||
| I think I would like him so much better if he never tweeted. | ||
| Like, if we just had news and that's it. | ||
| Yeah, but you get in the seat. | ||
| Like, what we're talking about, the stress of this thing. | ||
| I mean, this is how he's always been. | ||
| He always fires back at people when they fire at him. | ||
| That's his thing. | ||
| I mean, you should have known. | ||
| But people, for some reason, expected him to be different once he got in there. | ||
| They expected, well, he's just doing that for now, dude. | ||
| Just trust me. | ||
| He's going to get in there. | ||
| He's going to be super cool. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have you tried to bait him yet? | ||
| No, I don't want to do that. | ||
| Let's bait him. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I have no desire. | ||
| I don't want to ever do that to anybody. | ||
| I just... | ||
| Look, this is the world that I'm seeing. | ||
| I'm reporting on what I'm seeing. | ||
| I'm a reporter. | ||
| I'm like a journalist. | ||
| That's what I'm seeing. | ||
| I'm seeing a bunch of like... | ||
| Whether they're justified or not, there's a bunch of... | ||
| There's pettiness to this all that should be avoided by advanced human beings. | ||
| That's what's the problem. | ||
| There's the lack of humor to it all and the angry pettiness of it all is what's most disturbing. | ||
| Not the idea that there's something wrong with this system. | ||
| Because if that chart was right and they're wrong a lot and if they're wrong about him, there's one thing. | ||
| But the way that that should be handled is always pointing out exactly and specifically how they were wrong, how it could have gotten back to them that was the wrong information, and what they've done to correct it if they have, acknowledge it, and then that's it. | ||
| That's what should be done when you're in that position. | ||
| When you're just a regular dude and you want to just go on Twitter and talk some crazy shit and, you know, say the CNN is fucking fake news. | ||
| If you're like some firefighter somewhere, I don't think you should be fired if you say that. | ||
| Like, I don't care. | ||
| Like, you could say that, right? | ||
| That doesn't bother me. | ||
| But when you're the president. | ||
| You gotta go, come on, man. | ||
| You definitely are. | ||
| You're setting an example. | ||
| As weird as that seems to say to someone that this is a part of the job, you have to set a good example, you're setting the tone of the country. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I wouldn't write that. | ||
| Would you write that? | ||
|
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No. | |
| Would you write that to somebody? | ||
| Never. | ||
| Fake news trophy! | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Whoever let you do that needs to get you some mushrooms. | ||
| And have you seen his boomerangs? | ||
| He's got boomerangs? | ||
| No, and his Snapchat. | ||
| Oh, he has Snapchat? | ||
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
|
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That would be hilarious if he did. | |
| You know, people get tired of all this anti-Trump stuff, and people get tired of just hearing the subject. | ||
| It's almost like it hurts them. | ||
| But those kind of things, that's like fuel for the fire. | ||
| It's almost like he's doing the work of the people who hate him for him. | ||
| He just keeps providing more and more ridiculous shit that they can get mad at him for. | ||
| Do you think Trump's a flat earther? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean, he's into some of that. | ||
| I think he probably... | ||
| Look, man, I would like to know what he thinks about Kennedy, but he keeps releasing these documents, and I'm happy. | ||
| And some of these documents are crazy. | ||
| You know, they've... | ||
| There's a lot of, like... | ||
| One of the ones was about Jack Ruby. | ||
| Jack Ruby saying the day that Kennedy was going to get shot, get ready, you're going to see some fireworks today. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
|
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What? | |
| Like, what? | ||
| Did he really say that? | ||
| Like, how do I know he really said that? | ||
| I want to know. | ||
| But if the FBI got it from a credible source, and they really believed that, the problem is, like, the people that Jack Rui was hanging around with, some crazy stripper, was doing, like, some 1960s version of Speed. | ||
| Yeah, he told me. | ||
| He told me fireworks was gonna happen. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| And then she runs off into the fucking forest. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Maybe Jack Ruby just had a nice party, a surprise party later. | ||
| Could have. | ||
| He had fireworks and everything. | ||
| It all got set off when the president got shot. | ||
| What would be the best evidence that you would need right now to know that that was true? | ||
| It's a good question, right? | ||
| Because I've seen people argue that the photo of Lee Harvey Oswald, this convenient photo of him in the backyard with a rifle in one hand and a newspaper in the other hand, that is photoshopped. | ||
| Not photoshopped, but photo edited. | ||
|
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|
It is. | |
| I don't know if it is. | ||
| I don't know if it is. | ||
| I don't know if it's been proven that it is, but I know that that's a common statement. | ||
| And then the people have broken, they've done some analysis on the photograph, and I do not know enough about photography to know whether or not they're right. | ||
| The shadows are all off. | ||
| I think that they found out that the magazine did it to, for some reason, like the magazine did it, not the government or anything. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I remember it being a controversial photo, but then I remember someone saying recently that they believe it was not faked. | ||
| And that there was new evidence to indicate that it was not faked. | ||
| Is this the problem with being like a surface reader? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The one on the far left. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the Dallas police reenactment. | ||
| Yeah, how do you know they're there at the exact same time? | ||
| You don't have a camera when he was... | ||
| Come on, stupid. | ||
| You can't take a photograph as a reenactment unless you know exactly when he took the photograph. | ||
| And you have the same clouds in the sky and shit. | ||
| Because I guess they're trying to find out whether or not that was a real photo or whether it was Lee Harvey Oswald's head put on somebody else's body. | ||
| But the body matched his body. | ||
| Go to focus in on his face. | ||
| Don't go to this one. | ||
| There's one that's a better resolution version. | ||
| Go to the one right above it, actually. | ||
| That one right there. | ||
| Yeah, that's the photo. | ||
| It looks a little off. | ||
| The head definitely looks a little weird. | ||
|
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|
But he had a weird head. | |
| I guess the shadows is what they're talking about. | ||
| The shadow that's coming from the bottom of his chin is not the same as what the shadow is on his feet. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm not smart enough to know whether or not that's true, but it looks okay to me. | ||
| But that's so grainy. | ||
| Look at that photo. | ||
| Imagine if that was what pictures are today. | ||
| You had to check out a girl's Tinder account. | ||
| You'd be like, hmm. | ||
| What do you really look like? | ||
| Oh, see, there's the full one. | ||
| Now look at his feet. | ||
| Like, zoom out a little. | ||
| Is his feet shadows? | ||
| See, there we go. | ||
| See how the shadow is going that way on his feet? | ||
| And then if you look at his face, the shadow is like kind of going... | ||
| Can you make that picture a little smaller so we can get the whole picture in there? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| I don't think that's correct. | ||
| The thing that would make me feel like something was weird... | ||
| It's just that it's so old that you couldn't really tell whether or not someone doctored it, and they might have had reason to doctor it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's what makes me think that it might be fucked with, not the actual picture itself. | ||
| When I'm looking at the picture itself, I'm trying to find reasons why it was fucked with, you know? | ||
| But then again, I don't know jack shit. | ||
| That guy's an idiot. | ||
| I can tell you right now, that guy tells boring stories. | ||
|
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|
Oh, that was the legend of the FBI. That was Jacques Louis. | |
| He was the best. | ||
| And you made fun of him in your stupid fucking podcast. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Sorry in advance. | ||
| I'm just joking. | ||
| I'm sure that guy has great stories. | ||
| But those days, man, you get away with a lot of shit, you know? | ||
| There's an interesting article that David... | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| David Frum? | ||
| He's a conservative writer. | ||
| New York Times bestselling author. | ||
| He wrote something about it. | ||
| Shit, I'm trying to remember what it was. | ||
| Oh, it was Richard Nixon's letter to JFK's widow. | ||
| This like heartfelt, articulate, interesting letter between an opponent of John F. Kennedy Richard Nixon I mean that's who he was the opponent of John F. Kennedy wasn't just Richard Nixon like they were running against each other and So he writes this like really heartfelt letter and it's like whoa you read it and you're like wow Richard Nixon wasn't as stupid as people want to think he was. | ||
| He was very smart. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| He just was fucked up. | ||
| I Think this job just does it to everybody. | ||
| I don't think anybody gets gets out of this one alive I mean, look at Don Trump's hair. | ||
| It's already getting kind of white. | ||
| Yeah, but it's all painted. | ||
| Who knows what the real color of that stuff is? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's probably all white. | ||
| He's probably just giving up. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'm not going in today. | ||
| They're like, sir, today's dye day. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, today's Cheetos on the couch day. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'm going to watch Fox News and they're going to tell me I'm awesome. | ||
| He just sits there, stroking it, watching Fox News. | ||
| Fox News loves him. | ||
| It's interesting to see one network just going full gung-ho. | ||
| We're going to go Trump all the way. | ||
| Yeah, supposedly that's why he's, like, getting involved with that merger of Time Warner or whatever to get rid of CNN or something. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| That's crazy if that really happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the idea, right? | ||
| Like, Time Magazine's being bought out? | ||
| AT&T's trying to buy Time Warner, a cool company or something. | ||
| Dude, these gigantic companies. | ||
| See, the thing is, I don't know shit about this... | ||
| Net neutrality thing. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I need to know more about it. | ||
| Because I need to know if in some way... | ||
| Here's the real scary thing. | ||
| That everyone who owns a giant company would be able to control their own internet. | ||
| Like, you would have, like, a network. | ||
| Like, you'd be on the Verizon internet thing and he'd be on Comcast. | ||
| Like, oh, you're on Comcast? | ||
| Oh, you can't go to my website. | ||
| Shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Imagine? | ||
| That's what we don't want, though. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| There's an article I tweeted the other day on the, I think, LA Times or something like that, where somebody, a woman who works for the FCC, wrote, like, please, don't let us do this. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I read that. | ||
| I read that. | ||
| And there's a website you can go to where it's automated, where you can put in your information, and it will write an email or a letter to the FCC, so I recommend doing that. | ||
| I mean, I think we have like 10 days until they vote on this. | ||
| See, that's what's crazy. | ||
| This should be something, because this is a very important issue, this should be something that's debated on primetime television. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It needs to be. | ||
| It really should be. | ||
| I mean, all of these kind of really crucial... | ||
| Crucial? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crucial. | |
| This is where you stop listening to me. | ||
| Crucial memory. | ||
| All of these crucial issues, they should all be discussed in the public forum. | ||
| They should be discussed in the center of the town. | ||
| That's what these shows should be. | ||
| What CNN and any of these shows should be, part of what they should be is a town center where people talk about these super important ideas. | ||
| This is an important idea that needs to be like, they need to interrupt television shows for this. | ||
| Because we might be signing off on a terrible idea. | ||
| And we might be letting companies get away with having more and more control over us. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I need to look at it. | ||
| I need to really look at it carefully. | ||
| But we all need to look at it carefully. | ||
| If this is really happening in 10 days, the average person is not going to have the time nor the ambition to go and investigate this. | ||
| What do you think, Jamie? | ||
| There's another thing that happened, too, that they're voting on, I think, this week. | ||
| Monsters. | ||
| Another problem of it is, too, there's five people on that panel of the FCC board that make these decisions, and it's usually one person that's the flipping vote that makes it a 3-2 vote. | ||
| It's never like 5-0. | ||
| Which one showed up in the solid gold Bentley? | ||
| Which one got out his neck's covered in lipstick? | ||
| There's... | ||
| This guy. | ||
| He's the commissioner. | ||
| The FCC wants to relax one of broadcast media's biggest rules. | ||
| It has to do with like a small, like a small city having one company own the TV station and the newspaper in that area, which is like a media rights issue. | ||
| Oh, so they want that to come back? | ||
| They're trying to like, yeah, stop the rule that prevented that or like redo the vote on whatever. | ||
| I get that rule. | ||
| I get that rule, but the problem is, if you want to open... | ||
| Also, I get the idea that you should be able to open as many companies as you want. | ||
| There should be some sort of fair competition. | ||
| But the problem with fair competition in the news, it's like in the news, you don't always want to get the most ratings. | ||
| You want to report an honest account of all the issues that are actually happening. | ||
| But you can't do that if you want to sell ads. | ||
| You gotta be spicy. | ||
| You gotta go to that fucking fire, quick. | ||
| Get to that fire. | ||
| Let's see the car accident. | ||
| Police chases. | ||
| Yeah, police chases are the shit. | ||
| We interrupt this basketball game to show you a guy that's never getting away from the cops. | ||
| Did you see the Oregon one? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| There was one in Oregon recently, and it was the craziest thing ever. | ||
| He was going through fields. | ||
| Oklahoma. | ||
| To him, Oregon, Oklahoma. | ||
| That's one of them O states that I'm not going to other than Ohio. | ||
| There's a show called, I was going to bring it up a second ago, called Shot in the Dark. | ||
| It just came on Netflix. | ||
| It's sort of like the TV show version of the Nightcrawler movie. | ||
| So it's following some news crews around Los Angeles every night while they're going to find these crazy news stories. | ||
| And actually, the first episode, they catch a parked car on the 10, and they're thinking it's going to be an accident. | ||
| It's going to be real bad. | ||
| And literally, like five seconds later, boom, fireball. | ||
| Guy has to go save the guy, pull him out of the burning car. | ||
| It's really intense. | ||
| But that shit's happening all the time, too. | ||
| And the news that they're catching... | ||
| I saw it last night when I was watching... | ||
| The news popped up. | ||
| There's another thing. | ||
| Hostage situation. | ||
| But some guy got paid probably $500 for going to find video of this. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| Did you ever see that Night... | ||
| What is that movie? | ||
| Nightcrawler. | ||
| Nightcrawler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a great movie, man. | ||
| How dare you, son of a bitch! | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| You stay away from my movies. | ||
| You're wrecking my past. | ||
| Coco. | ||
| Have you seen Coco yet? | ||
| Who's Coco? | ||
| Coco's the new Pixar movie. | ||
| It's all about the Mexican holiday, Day of the Dead. | ||
| Oh, no, but I did see one other Mexican Day of the Dead movie. | ||
| It was crazy where they went to this other dimension. | ||
| Yeah, that's Coco. | ||
| But I saw... | ||
| Is this the second one? | ||
| No, this is the first one. | ||
| You might have saw it early, though. | ||
| No, I saw it on iTunes, on Apple TV. Oh. | ||
| There was another one. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| There's another crazy-ass movie with Day of the Dead characters that I watched recently. | ||
| The Book of Life. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The Book of Life. | ||
| Dude, it's fucking amazing. | ||
| You haven't seen this? | ||
| No, is that just... | ||
| Pull up like a trailer. | ||
| Because the animation is fucking insane. | ||
| It's so wild, man. | ||
| Wait, this is it? | ||
| So there's these, like, wooden people, and then they get somehow or another taken into this other dimension. | ||
| And in this other dimension, it's like, they're on drugs, man. | ||
| Dude, this looks like the same characters of Coco. | ||
| I know. | ||
| See, this is like... | ||
| Why has no one talked about this yet? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| This is sort of like when they did those two... | ||
| Where'd you go? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Now here's the new one. | ||
| Yeah, but go back to that one because it didn't quite get totally freaky yet. | ||
| They start getting really freaky towards the end. | ||
| It's Guillermo del Toro. | ||
| See, this is where they're entering into this other dimension and everything is like super bizarro. | ||
| Like the people are weird. | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| Like everyone's dead. | ||
| It's so bizarre. | ||
| And that's exactly what Coco's about. | ||
| But it's like, you remember when Deep Impact and Armageddon came out at the same time? | ||
| It's like somehow or another somebody figured out, like, hey, these Day of the Dead things are dope looking. | ||
| There's two other ones, that volcano movie, and then, like, Tommy Lee Jones was in one, and then Pierce Brosnan was in one, but there were, like, two movies about volcanoes, and they came out, like, the same week. | ||
| Yeah, they always do that. | ||
| One was in L.A., and one was not. | ||
| What's next? | ||
| Earthquake movies? | ||
| Look at this new dimension that he enters into. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| This is the same shit. | ||
| I can't believe no one's talked about this before. | ||
| So weird, man. | ||
| This is more dead people, and the other one was more bizarro. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| This is pretty bizarro dead people. | ||
| I mean, look at this. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they find a Bugs Bunny and, you know, well, we're going to have our own bunny. | ||
| Our bunny's name is Tim. | ||
| Daffy and Donald. | ||
| Yeah, Daffy Duck and Donald Duck. | ||
| Like, hey, which one is Warner Brothers? | ||
| Daffy. | ||
| I was a Daffy guy more than a Donald. | ||
| Donald's OG, though. | ||
| And they were the only ones that had the balls to have a hunter. | ||
| They had a bunch of mean... | ||
| Elmer Fudd. | ||
| And then a bunch of other mean hunters in some of their movies. | ||
| Like the Bambi movies of Mean Hunter. | ||
| There's a bunch of other ones. | ||
| Mean, mean, mean hunters. | ||
| But the... | ||
| Elmer Fudd. | ||
| That was like the first dumb white guy that you could mock in a cartoon. | ||
| Wasn't he? | ||
| No, I think they had a lot of dumb white people you could mock. | ||
| Isn't he the first? | ||
| Elmer Fudd? | ||
| Like, the rabbit gets away all the time? | ||
| The rabbit, like, treats him like a bitch? | ||
| Like, you fucking dummy. | ||
| You're never gonna get me. | ||
| Like, he's never threatened. | ||
| Bugs Bunny's never threatened by Elmer Fudd. | ||
| He's a rabbit. | ||
| And somehow or another, Elmer Fudd is so fucking stupid. | ||
| And Elmer Fudd wants to shoot this talking rabbit. | ||
| He's such an asshole. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's wabbit season! | ||
| Wabbit season. | ||
| And he's got a giant head like a baby. | ||
| Like, what is that supposed to mean? | ||
| Why does he have a baby head? | ||
| Wait, wait. | ||
| Elmer Fudd has an enormous baby head. | ||
| I never even noticed that. | ||
| He's like a baby with a gun. | ||
| What's the other one that was Elmer, and then there was another one that looked exactly like Elmer, but it wasn't Elmer. | ||
| It was like Elmer and... | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There was another one. | ||
| There was another guy. | ||
| There was another dude. | ||
| Who was the other guy? | ||
| I always thought that was strange. | ||
| Yeah, there's more than one hunter, right? | ||
| Yeah, who was the other guy? | ||
| It was like the second Mr. Roper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Or when they changed Darren on Bewitched. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They changed the husband. | ||
| The husband got crazy and he asked for money. | ||
| And they're like, nah, bitch. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We got a new dad. | ||
| He's like, well, I'm the co-star of the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| It's I Dream a Genie, motherfucker. | ||
| Nobody cares who Darren is. | ||
| See ya! | ||
| They pulled the fucking cord. | ||
| The floor dropped out. | ||
| He disappeared. | ||
| I don't think there was another hunter. | ||
| Yeah, there was. | ||
| There was another dude. | ||
| There was another dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| He didn't have another buddy with him? | ||
| Might be like one particular cartoon that maybe his brother showed up or something. | ||
| They went hunting together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe we were hunting together. | |
| Fool's Gold and the Fake Elmer. | ||
| Maybe it's like the Bernstein Bears. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw that a long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, but that one freaked people out. | ||
| It's like it should have been a different name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You dummies. | ||
| Or that Shazam movie where it wasn't. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't exist. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't exist. | ||
| What are those called when people like collective memories? | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| I forget what it's called. | ||
| Fake collective memories. | ||
| Those are super common. | ||
| Electronic coupling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah! | |
| Yeah, those are super common apparently. | ||
| The Mandela effect. | ||
| Yes, that's it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's simulation shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we were talking about this Elsagate thing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| Now, this is not a conspiracy theory, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| So before you go, oh, I can't believe this show. | ||
| It used to make sense. | ||
| You're a scientist, son. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| There's something going on where they're making these YouTube clips and They play like you know how if you watch if you watch a YouTube clip say on the brand new 2019 Corvette ZR1 like I'm a car freak I love watching those videos like wow Look how fast! | ||
| Look at it go! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a beast! | |
| And if you just let that play, YouTube will suggest another Corvette movie or video and play that, maybe a video on a shootout between a couple different types of cars, see what handles better, and then you'll just keep playing like car videos because it thinks you're on that loop. | ||
| Well, somewhere along the line, if you're on a kid's loop, you can get looped into one of these Elsagate videos. | ||
| Now, Some of them, like the one Brian's showing me is like really shitty CGI. Second life. | ||
| And it's like these cartoon characters get together and they become like sexualized and they drink sometimes and the babies keep getting their heads busted open. | ||
| Like the babies fall and the beer bottle flies through the air and hits the baby in the head and cuts the baby's head open and bloods all over the place. | ||
| And that one happens all the time. | ||
| It repeats itself over and over and over again, that same scene in a bunch of different weird cartoons with like babies and baby animals and, you know, there's anthropomorphization videos where it's like, you know, the wolf has a bunch of pigs with him and shit and the pigs get drunk, like that kind of shit. | ||
| But there's like hundreds and hundreds of them. | ||
| YouTube had to be alerted to this stuff. | ||
| People were watching them with their kid and it would go on autoplay and your one year old is all of a sudden watching a beer bottle fly through the air and bash a baby on the head and cause a big gash. | ||
| Have you seen any of those? | ||
| Yeah, I just... | ||
| Because I used to watch the ones that, you know, the Second Life ones where it's just ridiculous. | ||
| Like, this stuff is crazy. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I didn't even know about this. | ||
| They dress up in these cartoons. | ||
| They have little babies that are dressed up like Spider-Man or like Elsa. | ||
| And, like, this scene keeps happening over and over again where they have beer. | ||
| They get fucked up. | ||
| And then as the baby falls, the beer bottle bounces off his head and shatters and lands on the ground and the baby's bleeding. | ||
| It happens over and over again. | ||
| And so in this one with the minions, the little baby minions, they fall, bam, gets cut in the head. | ||
| It's the same scene. | ||
| Here's the Mickey Mouse one. | ||
| Little babies get fucked up. | ||
| They fall. | ||
| Beer bottle hits the baby in the head. | ||
| There's another one with little foxes. | ||
| They get fucked up. | ||
| Beer bottle hits the kid in the head. | ||
| It's always the same shit. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| It's not just stupid. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, it is weird. | ||
| It's weird because it's not just things happening. | ||
| It's the same violent scene over and over again. | ||
| And the babies are the ones that are getting brutalized in these. | ||
| They're getting hit in the head with beer bottles. | ||
| Giant gashes. | ||
| Blood. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| Yeah, it's almost like the YouTube crap that used to be really popular where they would just edit things together real fast and end with like screaming. | ||
| What was that shit called? | ||
| Yeah, but that was user-created. | ||
| That was a bunch of people. | ||
| You could see those people doing that. | ||
| They just decided to try to talk real fast and cut out all the breaths in between it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Slam it together like you have no attention span whatsoever. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Now this stuff and what we're watching now, I feel like they're all using the same characters, right? | ||
| So it seems like to me it's from a message board. | ||
| It's like when we were back in the day on your message board and we would make all these videos and stuff like that. | ||
| It seems like it's from a group of people that all are doing it, you know, collectively. | ||
| To me, it seems like you'll find like a deep 4chan thread in it or something where like, oh, I did the baby falling video or something. | ||
| No, there's a bunch of different ones, man. | ||
| I mean, this was like with real people, but the ones that you were talking about with the... | ||
| The cartoon ones, they're being made in other countries. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| They're not speaking English in any of them. | ||
| It's all, like, noises and stuff. | ||
| And they're generating, like, if they're ad-friendly, and some of them were approved for ads, they're generating a tremendous amount of money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You gotta think about how many hits these fucking things are getting. | ||
| And how many, like, see if you could pull up one and see how many millions of hits it had. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I just pulled up, had 5 million hits. | ||
| 5 million. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| So 5 million hits is the business. | ||
| Alright? | ||
| If you've got ads on a video for little kids that gets 5 million hits, that's a business. | ||
| Now, if you've got those things and they're generating them by computers, so you're making hundreds and hundreds of them, and you put them all over the internet, and they all have 5 million hits each, you're talking about a substantial amount of money that you're getting every month. | ||
| They're just making these things and then the real fucked up thing is like Apparently there's some again. | ||
| I just read the beginning of this and then never read any further into it but reddit had a thread apparently where these people were trying to decipher some of the things that are being said in the comments and they think that they're using the comments as like ways where child trafficking people can communicate with each other and This is like speculation, which sounds like, wow, that seems far-fetched, but doesn't child trafficking sound far-fetched? | ||
| I mean, you know it's real, right? | ||
| Child trafficking sounds crazy far-fetched, like the idea that someone's so evil that they're selling children, right? | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if that is, then why wouldn't it be that they would communicate? | ||
| I mean, is it more far-fetched that they communicate in code in some sort of way in the comments? | ||
| Yeah, because they probably wouldn't do it on kid videos. | ||
| They'd probably do it on any video, like tractor videos or something. | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| Maybe they're not that smart. | ||
| That's why they're child molesters. | ||
| But also, these kids are not going to make comments. | ||
| So who's making comments on these videos? | ||
| To me, again, it seems like it's a group of people somewhere, and it's making these. | ||
| Now, the fact that YouTube's letting them sell it as kids, they need to change, YouTube needs to change how they have kid videos. | ||
| Kid videos should have a team of people, you get approved, then you become YouTube kids. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You can't just upload anything and put the kid tag on it. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| They all have the kid tag? | ||
| Is that how kids find out about it? | ||
| That seems irresponsible. | ||
| When you give your kid the iPad and you put it on YouTube Kids, that should be selected videos only, it's been approved by eyeballs, and so on. | ||
| I should not be able to make a kid video. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And definitely not be able to make a kid video where a kid gets hit in the head with a fucking bottle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now, if that shit was, like, just on a, like, once one of us did it, and we're like, I just made all these stupid videos of kids falling down on the ground, and it wasn't for kids, then you'd be like, that's just a stupid cartoon that you'd see on, like, Adult Swim or something like that at four in the morning. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you could see something like that on Adult Swim at four in the morning, for sure. | ||
| Especially the ones that I watched. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, those stupid ones. | ||
| That could actually be like some sort of a, like something that, what's that called? | ||
| Where it's interspliced inside of a show where like a non sequitur video comes in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| It's like an Adult Swim cartoon where you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| A commercial. | ||
| Yeah, out of nowhere, that just gets stuck in there where the Mickey Mouse daddy is drinking with the babies. | ||
| The babies fall and gets hit in the head with a bottle. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| And then you cut to some wolf that's telling you about the past of man. | ||
| That happens on Robot Chicken a lot. | ||
| Just a real quick 15-second thing. | ||
| And you're like, what was that? | ||
| What is the word? | ||
| Interstition? | ||
| What is that word? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I know you're talking about it. | ||
| Interstitial? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Interstellar? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Matthew McConaughey was in that too. | ||
| He was in the Dark Tower movie. | ||
| He was? | ||
| Yeah, he's the bad guy. | ||
| Matthew McConaughey is the bad guy. | ||
| All I could think of was... | ||
| Louis C.K.'s bit about Mad Mike and Louis C.K.'s bit about Matthew McConaughey. | ||
| Do you remember it? | ||
| And he's like, the law says you can't touch, but I see a lot of lawbreakers out here. | ||
| And Louis does his impression. | ||
| He talks about how he loved the movie so much he was walking around his house saying that thing over and over and over again. | ||
| So when I was watching this movie, Matthew McConaughey's the bad guy, all I could think of is Louis C.K.'s bit. | ||
| Oh, that thing's a lot of lawbreakers out here. | ||
| Matthew McConaughey is a stripper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| That's all I could think of. | ||
| That fucking happens, man. | ||
| That happens where a good comic will do a bit about something and like, oh, that subject's ruined. | ||
| He's got me. | ||
| Every time I see Matthew McConaughey, I think he's a lot of lawmakers out here. | ||
| HBO pulled all the Louis C.K. | ||
| shit off lines. | ||
| Did they really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, okay. | ||
| That's a hard one. | ||
| That seems silly. | ||
| It's still funny comedy. | ||
| He wasn't jerking off in front of anybody when he did the comedy. | ||
| You can't invalidate everything everybody's ever done if they did something bad. | ||
| It's not good that he did it, but... | ||
| It's kind of fucked up that they did that even though he, you know, the situation of him asking permission and him admitting it and coming out and apologizing. | ||
| But yet then there's that Masterson Scientologist guy that all his shows are on there and there's like four people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if that's real though. | |
| Do you think that that's real? | ||
| Those stories are real? | ||
| I think a lot of them are real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Why haven't they done something if that story's real? | ||
| It seems like that one would be something that would get a lot of attention. | ||
| Scientology. | ||
| Something happened yesterday in the, I guess, sports world, in the Ohio State world, too. | ||
| So the defensive coordinator, who used to be an NFL coach, was rumored earlier yesterday afternoon, or I think maybe even Saturday, that he was going to be hired as the new head coach for Tennessee's football team. | ||
| They were going to make the announcement yesterday evening, I believe. | ||
| But at some point after the agreement had been signed, it hit the media in Tennessee, and there was protests in front of the stadium. | ||
| All of their fans and alumni were pissed that this was going to happen. | ||
| Someone outed that he was on the Penn State team. | ||
| He was one of the assistants to Jerry Sandusky. | ||
| So the tying to that, although he's already been vetted by Ohio State, he's already the coach there, and Urban Meyer's team has vetted him and backed him and all that. | ||
| So, before the night was over, they already canceled his contract. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And now he's, I think, even going to sue them for money that he was supposedly going to be owed because he probably, he could have already got rid of his house like in that day because he was going to have to leave, you know. | ||
| So, all sorts of things happened and just, it was like literally 24 hours or less. | ||
| How close did he work with Jerry Sandusky? | ||
| I don't know because he was an assistant of like, he was younger. | ||
| There's other, there's a couple other coaches on there that have claimed to not know anything too, I believe. | ||
| Man, I would and so there's some other people like Kirk Herbstre I saw tweeting out last night that this was a Like do you really think that you should do this with no evidence? | ||
| There is no evidence in this case apparently, right? | ||
| And he's lost he doesn't have that job opportunity now I guess I think you need a real investigation before you commit to something like that I don't know the case. | ||
| He might have not known. | ||
| It's possible that he didn't know. | ||
| But if you didn't know, don't you think there would be like a story? | ||
| You'd hear something. | ||
| Meltdown over potential hiring of Greg Sciano is a bad look for Tennessee program. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| It's a bad look. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| See, I don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| If you knew that this guy knew, then you would have this feeling like, hey, fuck that guy. | ||
| But if you knew that he didn't know, you'd be furious. | ||
| You'd be like, no, you're labeling an innocent man And saying he's a bad person. | ||
| There needs to be an investigation. | ||
| And if there has been an investigation, you've got to accept the results, otherwise you're on a witch hunt. | ||
| You've got to figure out what's really happened. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| See, I don't know the particulars. | ||
| But if you know the particulars, you know, and you've got to make a case for it. | ||
| It's like, look at Al Franklin. | ||
| That little picture of him acting like he's grabbing that girl's boobs, and then you see all the stuff that comes out about her after, where it's like, oh, she was groping all these people the whole time. | ||
| What? | ||
| Leigh Antwee didn't? | ||
| No. | ||
| This could have been fake news. | ||
| No, dude, I didn't see any of that. | ||
| There's a video of it. | ||
| He apologized for what he did, though. | ||
| Like, I mean, what he was doing was trying to be funny. | ||
| He tried to be funny, taking a picture. | ||
| And he wasn't even a... | ||
| He was a comedian back then. | ||
| He wasn't even a state representative. | ||
| But either way, it's like, you don't do that. | ||
| That could be your mom. | ||
| That could be your sister. | ||
| She's out cold. | ||
| It's not like it's your girlfriend. | ||
| You're joking around. | ||
| It's one thing it was your girlfriend. | ||
| If your girlfriend's out and you take a picture, like, and you'd be silly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| She loves you. | ||
| That's your girlfriend. | ||
| She knows it's a joke. | ||
| It's like if she takes a picture, like, sitting next to your dick while you're unconscious, she goes like this. | ||
| You wouldn't be upset. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But she wasn't his girlfriend. | ||
| She was working. | ||
| He was working. | ||
| They were always doing this charity tour. | ||
| And she said that he tried to kiss her. | ||
| It was more than one thing. | ||
| So he apologized for that. | ||
| And then there was the other women that were saying that he grabbed their butt. | ||
| Which old dudes do. | ||
| He said that was just like, you know, when you're taking photos, and he said, the one girl said, like, he put his hand on my butt. | ||
| I mean, when you're taking a photo, you just put your arm around somebody. | ||
| Maybe it touches your butt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Could be. | |
| Could be. | ||
| Old dudes like to grab butts, too, though. | ||
| It's an old dude thing. | ||
| George Bush. | ||
| George Bush. | ||
| I was just going to say, George W. Bush likes to take pictures of people, and as they go to take the picture, he squeezes their ass. | ||
| But that might be like some old Texas man thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It's a whole joke. | ||
| Plus, he's almost dead. | ||
| Leave him alone. | ||
| Like, people have to realize he's the longest living president ever at this point. | ||
| He's the oldest one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is Jim Carter still old? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He's not as old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah. | |
| Herbert Walker Bush is older than Carter. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| I think right now he's the oldest surviving president is what they say. | ||
| But Carter is the longest to go that he was president. | ||
| Yeah, man, he's almost dead. | ||
| Like, he's gonna grab asses. | ||
| He's going for it. | ||
| And see, that's what's also ridiculous. | ||
| Look, if you became, like, a president or something like that, and then you went through all the photos you've ever taken with fans after a show or at shows and stuff like that, you could take any of those photos and be like, oh my god, look, he's making a blowjob face to a woman that's under the age of 17 or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you freeze everything, you know. | ||
| People take so many pictures. | ||
| They're taking pictures when you're not looking and your mouth's open. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But it's like, I think that those old dudes just grabbed asses. | ||
| I think that's what's coming out. | ||
| They just thought it was a thing they'd get away with. | ||
| They grabbed asses when they took pictures. | ||
| They probably grabbed yours, too. | ||
| Just to get the look in your face like... | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| It's probably a joke. | ||
| Sports, I don't think anyone really slaps butts anymore. | ||
| It used to be a thing all the time. | ||
| You'd slap butts. | ||
| Occasionally, they'd slap butts. | ||
| There was a video that Morgan Murphy posted, and it looks like, I think it's on her Instagram, and it looks like some dude comes from behind, a referee, and smacks his buddy in the ass. | ||
| And the guy goes, yeah! | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| It's on Morgan Murphy's Instagram from, I think, yesterday. | ||
| I think soccer players constantly do crazy shit, like grabbing each other's dicks and shit. | ||
| Whoa, how dare you. | ||
| It happens in football, but that's like in a scrum and not like a friendly, cheering kind of way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| But this is two referees. | ||
| This video is a referee doing it to another referee. | ||
| It's hot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is... | |
| Here, watch this. | ||
| So this guy... | ||
| Off signs. | ||
| They talk to each other. | ||
| And watch, the guy comes by and... | ||
| Oh, there's a flag in the face. | ||
| Oh, he took a flag in the face. | ||
| I thought he got his butt pinched. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's another thing. | ||
| Barely paying attention. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Hoping that it was a butt pinch. | ||
| And that's why he freaked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's another video. | |
| That's how I look at things. | ||
| I'm like, just show me any reason why this is more exciting than it really is. | ||
| Just seeing a guy get hit in the face with a flag, my brain was like, not good enough. | ||
| Not good enough. | ||
| I've been drunk for five days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have? | |
| Yeah, I did vacation. | ||
| And just got hammered every night. | ||
| It was wonderful. | ||
| Wine drunk? | ||
| Yeah, wine. | ||
| Wine just puts you out, man. | ||
| Like, I don't know how the fuck the barbarians invaded countries on wine. | ||
| It just seems like they would have no ambition. | ||
| Like, wine just makes you so tired. | ||
| We're lucky they didn't know about, like, whiskey. | ||
| Imagine if the barbarians had whiskey instead of wine. | ||
| It would have been way bloodier. | ||
| I haven't done wine in a while. | ||
| It gives you a really bad morning, I think. | ||
| Yeah, there's something going on, right, where you get like a weird headache sometimes. | ||
| I've talked to people about that. | ||
| I never got a satisfactory explanation that I wind up remembering. | ||
| Yeah, I bet that's it. | ||
| I bet it's like eating a lot of cake. | ||
| You eat a lot of cake, man. | ||
| You get that fucking feeling the next day like, what did I do? | ||
| I didn't watch anything I ate all week. | ||
| Ate whatever the fuck I wanted to eat. | ||
| That's my go-to vacation move now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, because then you come back, you feel so bad that you want to get back on a diet and be real cautious. | ||
| That's why I'm going to do this. | ||
| No wheat. | ||
| No pasta. | ||
| No sugar. | ||
| Workout five days a week. | ||
| Two drinks a week. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I've been trying to eat steak a lot. | ||
| Just steak. | ||
| Like steak kebabs. | ||
| Those aren't my thing. | ||
| Dude, watch this wheat documentary. | ||
| You'll throw pizza away forever. | ||
| No more sandwiches. | ||
| No more burgers. | ||
| I can't wait for the meat doctor to come on soon, right? | ||
| Yeah, the meat doctor. | ||
| I don't know a better way to describe him. | ||
| Yeah, the carnivore. | ||
| He's a full carnivore. | ||
| That's all he does is eat meat. | ||
| He thinks he's been this crazy proponent of meat-eating only. | ||
| That has to be bad for something, right? | ||
| Cholesterol or something. | ||
| It seems like it would be. | ||
| He's super fucking healthy, though. | ||
| I just, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I think one thing is, like, I would think you would need some nutrients from vegetables, right? | ||
| And there's some things you can only get from vegetables. | ||
| But then, are you getting any of that from meat? | ||
| Because they eat vegetables. | ||
| Like, that's the idea. | ||
| It's like, lions don't really eat a lot of salads. | ||
| They just fuck up zebras. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| And zebras, they do plenty of salad-eating for the lion, and the lions are good. | ||
| You know, they don't really have to eat it on their own. | ||
| If that blueberry affects the bear meat so much that it changes the shape and color and taste of it, then it... | ||
| Not all about shape, I didn't mean that, but, like, that definitely... | ||
| Yeah, it changes the color and the taste of the meat. | ||
| It would only make sense that you're getting something from the grass when you eat a steak, which is why grass-fed steak is better for you, like proven for you, than corn-fed steak, because corn is basically sugar. | ||
| I mean, it's not good when you shit and you see, hey, that's not even digested. | ||
| The reason why you see corn in your shit, because your body's like, what am I doing with this? | ||
| This guy's eating plastic. | ||
| Just spit this out. | ||
| That's such a weird thing. | ||
| Your asshole's just like, get it out! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get it out! | |
| We're not going to try to process it. | ||
| We're not going to break it down. | ||
| Did I tell you a long time ago, I think I already told you this, but back in the day when, like, Hands Across America and all that shit, we were supposed to write in school, like, how do we help starvation and stuff like that, if we have any ideas. | ||
| And I wrote about how we should feed everyone corn and then they could wash it off the next day and eat it, like, a few more times. | ||
| And I got in trouble for that. | ||
| Like, my mom had to, like... | ||
| Your brain has always been gross. | ||
| My mom's like had to get called in and stuff like that because of that and I was thinking like well you could eat it twice like that's like makes sense to me like it's untouched. | ||
| Well, do you know that some Native Americans used to call it a second harvest and they used to eat their own shit? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I read that somewhere. | ||
| I think they cooked it or something. | ||
| They call it Second Harvest. | ||
| I mean, you gotta be hungry as fuck. | ||
| Oh, by the way, the person who told me this might have been crazy. | ||
| Might have made this up. | ||
| I'll remember who it was. | ||
| I'm trying to remember. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It was one of the wardrobe ladies on news and radio. | ||
| She told me that. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| She seemed pretty cool, so I just listened to her. | ||
| And back then, you couldn't really look anything up. | ||
| Is it true? | ||
| Confirmed by Urban Dictionary, but... | ||
| Urban Dictionary. | ||
| Urban Dictionary is hashtag woke. | ||
| What? | ||
| Top definition. | ||
| Hashtag woke. | ||
| Anyone could add to Urban Dictionary, though. | ||
| That doesn't mean it's real. | ||
| A method developed by Native Americans to conserve as much food as possible during deadly winters. | ||
| The act involved sifting through feces for chunks of corn and nuts. | ||
| Sleeping wolf, my little bear, your poo is rich with the second harvest. | ||
| Oh, that's not real. | ||
| Little bear, yeah. | ||
| This is some furry porn. | ||
| This is furry porn. | ||
| By the way, I'm connected now to a group of alt-right furries. | ||
| I am investigating. | ||
| I'm a journalist. | ||
| I told you earlier today. | ||
| And I'm investigating alt-right furries. | ||
| Because white people who go crazy, who are very reactionary and quick to jump the gun and call everybody a racist, wrote this article about... | ||
| I don't know if it was a white person who wrote it. | ||
| I just assumed. | ||
| Probably wasn't. | ||
| About these Nazi... | ||
| Furries. | ||
| Like, neo-Nazi furries. | ||
| The obscure subculture of furries has a problem with neo-Nazis. | ||
| I mean, any groups of sexual abuse is a lot of Nazis. | ||
| I mean, cut the fucking shit, please. | ||
| Just please cut the shit. | ||
| Please, please. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I can't keep going. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I can't keep going. | ||
| It's just too crazy. | ||
| Every day it's more and more fucking weird. | ||
| This stuff I get, and I think this is the same people that watch those YouTube videos or make the YouTube videos. | ||
| I think the people who make the YouTube videos, dude, I think it's just like they're in Asia or somewhere like that, and they have a script, and they just keep doing the script over and over, and we're looking for hidden messages in the script. | ||
| I think the script's probably just fucked up. | ||
| They think it's fucked up to have a cartoon character hit himself in the head with a bottle. | ||
| And I think you're probably right. | ||
| Like, maybe these fucking child predators, maybe they communicate on all sorts of different websites. | ||
| Maybe they just decide, like, hey, let's meet on this tire forum, and we'll just say things in code, and a tire means this. | ||
| I mean, wasn't that always the shit with Pizzagate? | ||
| Like, they thought that they were talking in code? | ||
| Like, all the conspiracy theorists thought that a slice of pizza meant, like, a kid, and... | ||
| The YouTube one, I mean, them being so many of them sort of says that there's money in it. | ||
| They've tapped into an algorithm and they're just beating it to death. | ||
| Yeah, and they just have the same script. | ||
| And they just do it with a computer. | ||
| Change one little thing. | ||
| Yeah, a little thing here and there. | ||
| And that's what I think it is. | ||
| I think it's not as nefarious as everybody likes to think, but it's really fucking weird to keep seeing the same video playing out over and over again when the bottle flies through the hair and the baby gets hit in the fucking head. | ||
| It's YouTube poop. | ||
| So I think the acting videos are a little weirder when it's people doing it where you can't just have a computer make it. | ||
| Dude, people are goddamn nuts. | ||
| They're nuts and they're out there. | ||
| I like Frieza. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| I have a bunch of outfits that I make videos with and stuff, and that's pretty much what that is. | ||
| That's just like cross-play, like any kind of role-play. | ||
| Yeah, they're having fun. | ||
| Yeah, they're having fun. | ||
| They don't feel like normies, right? | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm sure having sex like that, that's probably fun. | ||
| That's kinky. | ||
| Like, hey, you're dressed up as My Pretty Pony, and I'm Spider-Man. | ||
| Yeah, yep. | ||
| That's probably a lot of that. | ||
| A lot of dude-on-dude crime. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| While they're wearing these hats. | ||
| I mean, they're wearing fucking weird animal hats, and they're boning each other. | ||
| They're outfits. | ||
| But hey, why not, man? | ||
| But you know why? | ||
| Because this is crazy. | ||
| So why not? | ||
| Why to do it? | ||
| Why not do it? | ||
| You're dressed like a fox and you're fucking each other and the fox is fucking the chicken? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Really, why not? | ||
| I don't know why not. | ||
| I can't tell you why not. | ||
| Why is it okay that people wear crazy fake eyelashes and extensions in their hair and they pump fat into their ass and put silicone bags in their tits? | ||
| Why is that okay, but it's not okay to dress like a big chicken and get fucked by a big rooster? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Why can't you pretend to be like a fox in the hen house? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| As long as everybody agrees. | ||
| Do you agree to be the fox? | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| I'm a hound dog. | ||
| I'm going to be the bulldog mascot, the big bulldog head, and we're going to bone. | ||
| They're going to make some rendezvous. | ||
| Why the fuck not? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Yeah, I'm down for that. | ||
| They should do whatever they want. | ||
| I mean, I dress my girl up as a schoolgirl, you know, because she's Asian. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Dress her up like an anime schoolgirl. | ||
| Give her a big fake head. | ||
| Where would it be to bone her with a big fake head on? | ||
| Big anime eyes, looking at you kind of crazy with fake ponytails. | ||
| I got her some tentacles the other day. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Tentacle butt club. | ||
| Yeah, that's the weird thing. | ||
| It's like tentacle porn. | ||
| How did that ever take off? | ||
| Remember, that was the thing. | ||
| When we first found out about tentacle porn, I remember collectively the internet was like, what? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| How much of this stuff is existing? | ||
| How much is out there? | ||
| What the fuck is going on, Japan? | ||
| Technical porn was a loophole. | ||
| For bestiality or for porn? | ||
| For insertion. | ||
| Because you can't show insertion. | ||
| See, like, energy finds a way. | ||
| It finds the weakest link and it makes its way through. | ||
| You can't suppress it. | ||
| That's why, like, you see with Catholic priests, that's why you're seeing this. | ||
| You can't show penetration, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Huh? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| How about Krakens with a dick on the end of every octopus arm and they're banging eight different schoolgirls? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Good? | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Here's the magazine. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| They're all schoolgirls. | ||
| Japan is so weird, man. | ||
| Yeah, like big veiny dicks that are like ripping their lower jaw out, but it's just coming out of an octopus. | ||
| So it's okay. | ||
| Have you seen their game show called Slippery Stairs? | ||
| Yes, I tweeted it. | ||
| I tweeted it the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the best show. | |
| It's a great show. | ||
| I wonder what the cheating would be. | ||
| How would you cheat at Slippery Stairs? | ||
| Seems like someone in America would figure out a way to buck the system, right? | ||
| I would say it would have something to do with pulling the other guys down. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't think you can touch them, though. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| Yeah, I think you can. | ||
| Because if you did, people would just get ahead and you would never let anybody get close to you. | ||
| But I think the problem is, for people listening, it's... | ||
| Oh, this dude's kicking ass! | ||
| Oh, he fucked up! | ||
| Oh, he fucked up! | ||
| Oh my god, he was there! | ||
| Oh my god, he was there. | ||
| He took everybody out like a bowling ball. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And then the other guy went down, too. | ||
| The guy who was ahead of them, he got cocky. | ||
| And he fell all the way back. | ||
| Yeah, this is a great show. | ||
| That looks fun. | ||
| Looks like a, they should call it, like, Tooth Chipper or something like that. | ||
| Who would be a good host of this? | ||
| You! | ||
| No, I'm too busy. | ||
| Let's get somebody else. | ||
| Who would be a good host? | ||
| Tony Hancecliffe would be a good host. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey guys, get up this dance. | |
| Maybe not. | ||
| Alright, who else? | ||
| I would love a Japanese game show, because that's just one. | ||
| Bobby Lee would be perfect for it. | ||
| Yeah, and Koreans and Japanese people don't get along, so it would be even better. | ||
| Yeah, that's great. | ||
| There'd be people mad at him. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| Koreans and Japanese people have a sordid history. | ||
| Oh yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, there's speed skating down a slope. | ||
| Oh my God, this is insane. | ||
| I saw there's the two other sports and this was one of them and that slippery stairs thing came out. | ||
| Is this new? | ||
| This isn't very, very new. | ||
| This is from 2013. It's like a Red Bull sport. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god, these guys are going so high. | ||
| It looks awesome. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| People are hanging over the edge. | ||
| I hope people don't smack them. | ||
| What's this called? | ||
| Ice Lazoine? | ||
| Crashed ice, I think is what it's called. | ||
| But it's like speed hockey. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| It's like a downhill hockey speed cross X type. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a real weird event. | ||
| Just a matter of time before somebody figures something like this out, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, eventually people just make things crazier and crazier. | ||
| Like, this is way better than, like, a lot of shows. | ||
| Like, just look at this right now. | ||
| Just the intensity of this race, and now compare this to golf. | ||
| Right? | ||
| If you watch golf on TV, this is riveting. | ||
| Like, this is way more riveting than people racing cars, isn't it? | ||
| People stop playing football. | ||
| They're gonna want to do something crazy. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| This might be it! | ||
| Roller derby, downhill, pretty much. | ||
| But this is an agility thing. | ||
| You know, like Wayne Gretzky was not a big guy, but he had incredible agility on the ice. | ||
| You would have to be one of those badass hockey players. | ||
| Like Bieber? | ||
| Is Bieber a hockey player? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Justin Bieber? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if he became like the top dog in this stuff. | ||
| People are so mad at him. | ||
| You little punk, you can't be good at this too. | ||
| Piece of shit. | ||
| He's also a boxer. | ||
| Stealing our thunder. | ||
| He's also boxing and nice. | ||
| Somebody needs to talk to him about the amount of tattoos. | ||
| I'll be the guy. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Stop! | ||
| Stop. | ||
| What'd you do to your stomach? | ||
| Cover yourself up with tattoos. | ||
| Settle. | ||
| Bro, you're young. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You're going crazy. | ||
| Got all the money in the world. | ||
| You're ballin'. | ||
| Banging bitches left and right. | ||
| I get it, son. | ||
| Just slow down. | ||
| Your tattoos on your chest don't make sense. | ||
| Oh, is that a Lesnar? | ||
| Does he have a Lesnar? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Oh, and that's a cross. | ||
| What are those things in the bottom? | ||
| Is that a ship? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Lion, a bear... | ||
| A big eagle. | ||
| That's an eagle? | ||
| Yeah, right here's an eagle. | ||
| Okay, what are those things above it? | ||
| A guy. | ||
| There's so much chaos going on there. | ||
| What's up with the nipple? | ||
| Lines. | ||
| One of the things, if you talk to tattoo artists, like, they want to make sure that, like, designs stand out. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, The Rock's tattoo, right? | ||
| Nico Hurtado's tattoo, The Rock's arm. | ||
| See how that stood out? | ||
| Like, it popped, right? | ||
| That's because Nico's a master. | ||
| Not that this guy isn't. | ||
| He's covering that up, I think. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| He had something written. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Oh, he had something written. | ||
| Well, hey, bro. | ||
| Get that shit lasered. | ||
| That's a lot of lasers. | ||
| Just suck it up. | ||
| Be a man. | ||
| Just slide it like this. | ||
| Pretend that laser's making you more powerful. | ||
| That's how you gotta think. | ||
| You gotta think. | ||
| With this pain, I grow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With each one, I become stronger. | |
| Yeah, you don't... | ||
| Write over writing. | ||
| When you can erase it. | ||
| Everybody knows that. | ||
| Yeah, why would you ever try that? | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Burn it off, at least. | ||
| There's a way around what you're doing. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| There's a way around it. | ||
| There's people that get those... | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Branding. | ||
| Branding? | ||
| That's disgusting. | ||
| Open St. Pru has that. | ||
| He's a top UFC light heavyweight. | ||
| He's got one of the fraternity things on his arm. | ||
| He's a football player in Tennessee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He does that thing too when he wins sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He makes the, what is it, the U? It's the third thing. | |
| I forget what it was. | ||
| A lot of North Carolina basketball players used to do it. | ||
| I think Michael Jordan's also in that fret. | ||
| Fraternity shit. | ||
| They banned all fraternities in Ohio State the other day. | ||
| Too much rape? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Something happened. | ||
| They're all shut down there. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| All the hazing or something was going on. | ||
| Probably that. | ||
| They should never have fraternities anyways. | ||
| Well, you're guaranteeing some crazy shit's gonna go down. | ||
| It's like, you're just gonna, you're gonna have to have some sort of an agreement. | ||
| Like, how much crazy shit are you gonna allow? | ||
| Because if you're gonna let a bunch of dudes who are just starting to have boners all live together in a house, they have a house. | ||
| Like, they let girls in? | ||
| Can they let girls in? | ||
| They're gonna open the door. | ||
| Girls can come in. | ||
| Can they drink? | ||
| They can! | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| You've got a bunch of people that are dudes shacked up with other dudes. | ||
| Smelling each other's butts. | ||
| Getting crazy together, all fucking drinking. | ||
| Watching movies of every bachelor party, every fucking fraternity movie ever. | ||
| Where you get a group of guys together. | ||
| Every fucking... | ||
| What is the... | ||
| The Hangover. | ||
| The Hangover is another example. | ||
| Every time you get a bunch of guys together. | ||
| Fucking chaos. | ||
| Chaos. | ||
| Every single movie. | ||
| You get ten guys together, they go somewhere. | ||
| It's out of control. | ||
| People getting punched. | ||
| Someone gets shot. | ||
| Always. | ||
| So imagine you're letting these 18-year-olds Who doesn't even know how to control their bodies yet? | ||
| You're barely in a... | ||
| You can't even believe you can think for yourself. | ||
| You can decide when to wake up. | ||
| Your parents aren't there with you anymore. | ||
| Finally, your dad is not fucking pissed at you because you forgot to mow the lawn. | ||
| Fuck you, dad. | ||
| I'm not here to mow your lawn, bro. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| The next thing you know, you're hanging out with a bunch of dudes that are just like you. | ||
| And you're all drunk. | ||
| And girls come over, and they're drunk too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, holy shit, this is the best. | |
| Learn about life. | ||
| Make some mistakes. | ||
| You weren't in a frat, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Frat parties were crazy, though. | ||
| I mean, they would have, like, hookers there. | ||
| That's all the drugs. | ||
| When you first saw, like, drugs, and you're like, what the hell? | ||
| There's drugs here? | ||
| The closest to a frat, I lived with two dudes once. | ||
| And they were good guys, sorta. | ||
| One of them was a little fucked up. | ||
| But it was just having a bunch of men together like that, it's just super sketchy. | ||
| It's unnecessary. | ||
| It's super sketchy. | ||
| It can go bad. | ||
| Bunch of young guys. | ||
| I remember hearing stories of, it wasn't even a frat, but it was like the ski club house at Ohio State would have 30 kegs at their parties on Saturday. | ||
| There's 15 people living in a house. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| I remember those days. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| Plus alcohol, plus liquor, plus whatever. | ||
| Yeah, plus all the other things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man, when you get a bunch of people living together, and especially when you're young, and you make shitty decisions, and then the three of you are making shitty decisions, or the four, or the five, or the ten, All like the same age. | ||
| All just as dumb. | ||
| All fucking trying to out-aggro each other. | ||
| All out-hammered. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And then, on the other side, you got some crazy bitch who finally got away from her dad. | ||
| And she's fucking drunk! | ||
| And nobody can tell me shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| And everybody just figures out life together. | ||
| We should keep sororities, definitely. | ||
| They have sororities still at Ohio State, right? | ||
| I think it was both of them. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I only heard fraternities. | ||
| I think sororities are good. | ||
| What about dorm rooms? | ||
| What about that? | ||
| Dorms are crazy. | ||
| Everybody knows dorms are crazy. | ||
| The thing about dorms is you don't have to join, right? | ||
| Dorms are more egalitarian. | ||
| Because you could have a bunch of people that like different things, different interests, different... | ||
| They're just different. | ||
| Men and women, different parts of the world. | ||
| Everybody lumped together in this dorm. | ||
| They all just can't really afford an apartment, and they're all living together in this university setting. | ||
| They could be anybody. | ||
| Your roommate could be anybody. | ||
| Share a bathroom with everyone in the hall. | ||
| That one shit in the news recently where that woman didn't get along at a dorm and so the woman was putting her toothbrush in her ass and she started getting sick and they found out that she was doing all this shit to her. | ||
| How'd they find out? | ||
| Hidden camera? | ||
| Toilet cam, no. | ||
| She probably sued because she got film stuffing something in her ass. | ||
| White woman arrested for torturing black students she called Jamaican Barbie. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| She admitted to it on Facebook or something like that. | ||
| Oh yeah, she's like... | ||
| 2,000 people rallied at UCLA and set fire to a Trump pinata. | ||
| Unrelated story. | ||
| What?! | ||
| It's unrelated? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's showing up on here, but it's a video. | ||
| Oh, so this is all just about various pieces of racism that people are finding? | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy, man. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| Imagine sticking someone's toothbrush in your asshole and then watching them brush teeth with it. | ||
| Or clam dip in her lotions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rubbing used tampons on her backpack for a month. | ||
| Oh my god, that's what she did? | ||
| She, like, did crazy shit to this poor girl. | ||
| She probably want to eat her pussy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She probably wanted to. | ||
| She's probably like fighting off the gay. | ||
| Yeah, look at this. | ||
| And then she tweeted about it. | ||
| Oh my god, she tweeted it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I can finally say goodbye to Jamaican Barbie. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Make that a little bigger. | ||
| Finally, I did it. | ||
| Yo girl got rid of her roommate after one and a half month of spitting in her coconut oil, putting moldy clam dip in her lotions, rubbing used tampons on her backpack, putting her toothbrush in places where the sun doesn't shine, and so much more. | ||
| I can finally say goodbye, Jamaican Barbie. | ||
| She said she was making that up as part of her defense, but whether or not she was or not, I don't know. | ||
| The story came out a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Yeah, see, the thing is, you might think it'd be funny to say something like that and make it up, and it might be made up. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You might think it's funny to make it up, but boy, did you fuck up by saying that. | ||
| Like, you gotta make something like that up and then put it on the internet where anybody can find out about it? | ||
| That seems crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess you can, you know, test her toothbrush and stuff like that for butt juice. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Like, you have the time. | ||
| When was the last time you tested your toothbrush for butt juice? | ||
| Every well has it. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of those things people just don't test for. | ||
| You don't test your toothbrush to see if it's been someone's asshole. | ||
| Just a lot of things I'm thinking about. | ||
| It's not one of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine how bad they hated each other, but that girl didn't want to stick a toothbrush up her ass. | ||
| Oh, bitch. | ||
| Eat my shit. | ||
| Well, that's a sick type of person. | ||
| I'll sit there and watch you brush their teeth with their asshole juices. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Get in there. | ||
| For weeks. | ||
| Get in the gums. | ||
| Get in the gums. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| I wonder if she did it. | ||
| She did do it. | ||
| That's a sick bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Imagine? | ||
| Imagine the thought that has to go through your head to do something like that. | ||
| Maybe she didn't realize how gross other people would find it. | ||
| That's the crazy thing, is that she told everybody. | ||
| Like, people have probably been doing that to each other forever, right? | ||
| Is this the first thing she did? | ||
| Or, like, it's just a slow build-up? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I wonder how deep she goes, you know? | ||
| She's just like, this is a spin brush. | ||
| Right to the lower ribs. | ||
| Just prods. | ||
| She prods at the lower ribs and she's she's got the toothbrush like this with her fingers where she's like barely got the bottom of the toothbrush. | ||
| She's knuckle-deep in her own asshole and she barely has the bottom of the toothbrush and she's got to kind of use her shit muscles to force it out where she could pinch down on it and pull it out and sometimes she has to do it over and over again. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Imagine you gotta drink prune juice to try to get that toothbrush out of your asshole. | ||
| And you don't want it to hit the wall coming out and then bounce back up. | ||
| So you gotta really open it wide. | ||
| So, like, you're probably gonna have to wear, like, lawn gloves. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, lube your ass all up. | ||
| And then just wear, like, some of the gloves you wear when you're, like, cleaning bundles of sticks and shit. | ||
| You know those ones made out of suede? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Suede and canvas. | ||
| You get a good grip on things that are slippery. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're just pulling your butt apart, trying to get that toothbrush out, and right when it gets out, you hear the keys in the door. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oh, the bitch is back. | |
| And puts it in the glass. | ||
| Clink! | ||
| And you shut the door and just wash your toothbrush off real quick. | ||
| But you gotta dry it, too. | ||
| Because otherwise I should pick her toothbrush up and go, why the fuck is my toothbrush already wet?! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dun, dun, dun! | |
| Like, if you put toothpaste on a wet toothbrush, you know that's a fucking wet toothbrush. | ||
| You're looking down on that thing, it looks different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why is it wet? | |
| You feel it with your finger. | ||
| You go, whoa, it's cold and wet. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Who was just using my toothbrush? | ||
| You think about it, I've been at work for nine hours. | ||
| How the fuck is my toothbrush not dry? | ||
| It would be dry. | ||
| Unless someone had it in their asshole. | ||
| You smell it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It smells like medicine. | |
| Bleach. | ||
| Medicine and Chipotle. | ||
| It smells like Roundup. | ||
| They went out into the fucking garage, got some lawn spray. | ||
| Did you see that new thing that you put in your mouth and it brushes your teeth for you? | ||
| Oh, that's so lazy. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| People are so lazy. | ||
| Yeah, in 30 seconds. | ||
| Why is it to brush your teeth? | ||
| Is it better? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's an interesting idea, though. | ||
| You could just put it in your mouth in the car or something like that, and 30 seconds later, I don't know how proven it is, and it seems like it would get... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's just weird. | ||
| I wonder how much of an impact fluoride in the water has on preventing tooth decay, if any. | ||
| I've been reading about Florida in the water, and it's so hard to figure out who's nuts. | ||
| This 10-second automatic toothbrush could save you hours every year. | ||
| She's hot. | ||
| I hope she brushes her teeth well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Put that in your pussy. | ||
| Imagine if her... | ||
| No. | ||
| Imagine if her breath smelled and she was that pretty. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And she goes. | ||
| This is like a ball gag. | ||
| This is like if you were gonna like practice strengthening your neck, you'd bite down on that thing and attach that rope to like a bungee cord like the iron neck device. | ||
| Everybody sent you that thing that you chew down and it strengthens your neck. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Go back to that guy. | ||
| Like, come on, bro. | ||
| I don't care how much they're paying you for this. | ||
| They use the same one. | ||
| And his girlfriend comes by and kisses him on the cheek and leaves. | ||
| Like, he doesn't even have time to get a good kiss on the lips. | ||
| Because you're too busy sucking on this robot dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This thing that's just cleaning out your face. | |
| How about you brush your teeth like a fucking normal person? | ||
| Maybe have the newspaper open beside you? | ||
| I just wonder if it's better. | ||
| I mean, that- A little dedication. | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| Is it better to go to the car wash or wash your car by hand? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm? | |
| Hmm. | ||
| Of course it's better to wash your car by hand. | ||
| That's why hand washing costs more money. | ||
| Well, it depends what car wash you go to. | ||
| What's better? | ||
| What's better? | ||
| To give your teeth the attention they deserve and go over each one with a fine brush or suck the robot dick and it cleans your teeth out. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Do you want to save time or not? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| That's a good question. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But how much time should you save? | ||
| And how much time should you... | ||
| I've been reading a lot about meditation. | ||
| It's something I'm also considering I'm getting to get into during Discipline December. | ||
| Meditation's cool. | ||
| Because the tank is not going to be here for another couple of weeks. | ||
| So I've got to wait. | ||
| So I'm looking for other ways to expand the mind. | ||
| So I'm thinking of doing a little 10-minute meditation session every day. | ||
| Every fucking day. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Gotta do it every day. | ||
| Gotta commit yourself. | ||
| That's a long-ass time. | ||
| Seems like it's not, but it is. | ||
| You're like, God, I don't have ten minutes. | ||
| I gotta go to work. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| You gotta do it. | ||
| Gotta do it sometime during the day. | ||
| A couple of those apps, I think they help you start streaks and stuff so you can kind of game in a little bit. | ||
| They help you get addicted to your fucking phone. | ||
| That's what they help you. | ||
| Look at your watch. | ||
| When 9 o'clock rolls around, get out of bed, meditate. | ||
| Yeah, 10 minutes. | ||
| Did you hear about this new dating app called Hater? | ||
| And what you do is you put what you hate, and it matches you with people that hate the same things. | ||
| Oh, perfect. | ||
| So it's like, it's interesting, though. | ||
| It's interesting, though, because it's backwards, you know? | ||
| So it's like, what if you only get matched, like, what if I only got matched with black women for some reason? | ||
| But all the things, it's so unnecessary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think people are probably getting laid more now than ever before. | ||
| And I read this article where they were putting the blame on STDs, the jump in STDs on Tinder and Grindr. | ||
| Like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Are you going to sue all the nightclubs for giving people herpes? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're not. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| This is the place where people meet. | ||
| They're not responsible for whether or not someone's got herpes or VD. Stop it. | ||
| We're making too many people. | ||
| They're just trying to... | ||
| It's a money grab. | ||
| They realize there's a lot of money in Tinder and someone's going to start some class action lawsuit and all these people that got the herpes. | ||
| Or, uh, real strong stuff. | ||
| Like, it's like a real... | ||
| Did you hear Legionnaire's disease broke out at Disneyland? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| And nine people got it. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Legionnaire's disease? | ||
| What year is it? | ||
| What the fuck is that stuff doing around? | ||
| Like, are we gonna have some old... | ||
| You know, because of, like, preservatives and food or some shit, have some old diseases make a comeback? | ||
| What is Legion... | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| Good question. | ||
| Um... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because there's another old school. | ||
| Sounds terrible though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It better be strong. | ||
| It better be able to fuck you up. | ||
| I'll get super pissed if they name like some bitch-ass common cold Legionnaires disease. | ||
| It's a slight diarrhea. | ||
| Yeah, it just makes you fart. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| And it doesn't spread from person to person, but through mist. | ||
| Yeah, it's from the water. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| So it's from their water sprayers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From an air conditioner, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Is that what it was from? | ||
| No, it could be from that. | ||
| I thought it was from outdoor misters. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it's from. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it somehow or another got on outdoor misters and then got into how many people? | ||
| Nine. | ||
| I think nine. | ||
| How many of those people are weak bitches? | ||
| Yeah, they're kids. | ||
| It's just a joke, folks. | ||
| I'm sure they weren't. | ||
| They were wonderful people. | ||
| Elevated levels of Legionaria bacteria. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Causes Disneyland to shut down cooling towers. | ||
| Notice. | ||
| Shut down. | ||
| Cooling towers. | ||
| Not shut down, bitch. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| This show must go on! | ||
| Fifteen people have it. | ||
| Fifteen people? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Now, how dangerous is this stuff? | ||
| I'm trying to find that out. | ||
| We reviewed our water quality testing data, including testing performed by our third-party water quality maintenance contractor, and learned that two cooling towers had elevated levels of Legionella bacteria. | ||
| Legionella? | ||
| Legionella. | ||
| Legionella bacteria. | ||
| Fucking A, man. | ||
| That's like some 28 Days Later shit, right? | ||
| That's where it breaks out. | ||
| When are we going to get a disease that turns people into crazy people? | ||
| We already have it. | ||
| 28 days later type shit, though. | ||
| I think you just get sick from it. | ||
| It sounds like maybe diarrhea or getting the chills, fever. | ||
| It's gluten. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gluten-sensitive people. | |
| Well, that was this wheat documentary saying that everybody is more gluten-sensitive than you realize. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like being allergic to a cat. | ||
| Everyone's allergic to cats. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, everyone's allergic to it. | ||
| What about dogs? | ||
| Is everyone allergic to dogs? | ||
| Dander, I think. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| But you have definitely your levels of it. | ||
| Severe, often lethal form of pneumonia. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's a severe, often lethal form of pneumonia. | ||
| It's caused by the bacterium Legionella pneumonia found in both potable and non-potable water. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| You can get it when it happens. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| I hope those people survive. | ||
| Are those people gonna be okay? | ||
| Did the people from Disneyland get treated and released? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, you're gonna be okay. | |
| I need information. | ||
| This is the Dumb Bro News Network checking in. | ||
| Hey, bro. | ||
| That's what I heard, bro. | ||
| I heard the fucking zombies are at Disneyland, bro. | ||
| They're just keeping it on lockdown. | ||
| The government doesn't want you to know, bro. | ||
| They're all over 52. 52 sick? | ||
| No, the age. | ||
| They were over the age of 52. Oh, that's good. | ||
| No kids. | ||
| One was 94. Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What are you doing at Disneyland? | ||
| Well, maybe their immune system is more compromised when they're that old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And their body can't fight it off. | ||
| Can't fight off the funk. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I'm 52. That's like Dean Del Rey's age. | ||
| Isn't it weird that that's, uh, all of us are eventually, if you keep going, you're gonna be 100. Like, if you live, like, one day you'll be, if you survive, you'll be, I mean, who knows, with medicine, science, you could easily survive. | ||
| I wouldn't put all my money in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd make it 100. No, I'd be 77. But if you did, I mean, you never know, though, dude. | |
| I'm telling you, we're so close to, like, innovation, breakthroughs, medical breakthroughs. | ||
| What's this? | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| Fifty-five cases were found in Orange County last year, and they don't know why, necessarily. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Orange County has recorded more than 55 cases of the disease this year and has seen the number of cases jump in recent years. | ||
| A similar upward trend has been seen naturally and elsewhere in Southern California, according to the health care agency. | ||
| Though what's causing that is unclear. | ||
| The two towers ever shut down were in the backstage area more than 100 feet from the nearest people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| Oh, that's why only a few people got it, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Maybe the weak immune system. | ||
| Maybe just some dummy didn't clean the thing he was supposed to clean because he was lazy because he wanted to put on his furry outfit and go fuck. | ||
| Go on a furry fuckfest. | ||
| Maybe that's what happened. | ||
| How many furries work at Disneyland? | ||
| Probably all of them, right? | ||
| If you were a furry, that'd be a dream job. | ||
| Imagine you could walk around pretending to be Goofy, go to Goofy's kitchen and wave at the kids. | ||
| Do you think the security is on top of furries showing up? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I think the security is on top of furries showing up on the park. | ||
| Hey, hold on. | ||
| Get them out of here. | ||
| You'd have to use an incognito social media account, which all the furries do anyway, that I've come across over the last three days of research. | ||
| The alt furry group, especially. | ||
| They have to be super careful. | ||
| Especially the alt furries. | ||
| They have to be super careful. | ||
| What's the difference between alt... | ||
| They're alt-right. | ||
| They're alt-right people. | ||
| They're Trump supporters that are furries. | ||
| Furries and... | ||
| Maybe fairies, too. | ||
| Bronies? | ||
| Bronies are... | ||
| Yeah, they're right up there. | ||
| I like bronies. | ||
| Now I can get down with some bronies. | ||
| I don't know if that's real, by the way. | ||
| If you're an alt furry and you're mad at me now, that's not... | ||
| I don't know if it's real. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But one guy was calling himself FurNazi. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That sounds like a troll to me. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But isn't that what a lot of this stuff is? | ||
| Is it just being silly? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're supposed to pretend that that's not the spirit of the internet sometimes. | ||
| That's what got me so mad about that whole Peppy the Frog stuff. | ||
| It's like, listen... | ||
| The spirit of the internet is in fucking with people. | ||
| It has been forever. | ||
| People are bored. | ||
| They're at work. | ||
| They come up with hilarious memes and some of them are really fucked up. | ||
| Does that mean that guy's a real Nazi? | ||
| Or does it mean he's just an asshole who's bored at work and he's mad at everybody? | ||
| It might mean that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't know how many of them are like real Nazis. | ||
| And how many of them are just people fucking around. | ||
| That's like the internet, right? | ||
| The internet is all... | ||
| Like so much of the internet is people fucking around. | ||
| It's so hard to tell what's going on at any given moment. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like this Flat Earth thing. | ||
| That's the great thing about it. | ||
| I hope it doesn't change. | ||
| It can't change. | ||
| Do you think it'll change? | ||
| Do you think that really it'll get to a point where they'll have so much control over the internet that they'll be able to stop content like that? | ||
| Like they'll be able to close down message boards or social media where people are allowed to talk about stuff like this? | ||
| They do it in every other country almost. | ||
| The main reason they want it is because Netflix takes up like 75% of the bandwidth right now. | ||
| Does it really? | ||
| Yeah, it's like something crazy where all these videos, and it's getting to get worse, 4K, 8K, 12K. So they want to have control of... | ||
| You know, if you're going to use video or if you want, they want to like pretty much, that's what I think they're saying they're doing. | ||
| Well, I kind of get it from their perspective if, say, they have a limited amount of bandwidth and then one application like Netflix is using up most of their bandwidth but paying the same amount of money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know if that's the case, though. | ||
| That's the question I'm not sure about. | ||
| Is there a limited amount of bandwidth? | ||
| It seems like there's always been an infinite amount of bandwidth. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why would there ever be a finite... | ||
| Sounds like a true socialist. | ||
| I don't know, I'm just saying. | ||
| I'm just wondering. | ||
| You're bad for business. | ||
| I get the pipes might get clogged, which could be a thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that real? | |
| It's still happening at once. | ||
| You know what really freaked me the fuck out when I found out there's a real pipe that goes across the bottom of the ocean? | ||
| I went, wait, what? | ||
| So if you send an email from somebody from Australia, there's a goddamn pipe that someone laid across the flat ocean of the flat earth all the way to the other side. | ||
| If that, those people have to be in on the flat earth conspiracy as well, by the way. | ||
| Why doesn't it just go through my satellite? | ||
| Why does it have to go through this pipe anyways? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It might not be a pipe to Australia, but it's definitely a pipe to Japan, I believe. | ||
| Transatlantic communications cable. | ||
| Transatlantic communications cable is a submarine communications cable connecting one side of the Atlantic Ocean to the other. | ||
| After mid-century, coaxial cable came into use with amplifiers late in the century used for optical fiber, and most now use optical amplifiers. | ||
| So that's only one cable? | ||
| It's only one? | ||
| It's probably really big, and there can't be just one, but this just made me think of something else I wanted to show you that I just found the other day that's kind of scary that has to do with fiber optics. | ||
| Dun-dun. | ||
| I gotta get to it, but... | ||
| It's time for another episode of Jamie Vernon Scares the World. | ||
| Someone sent me a link that showed that people can hide a microphone, I don't know how big and how well it can listen, inside of an Ethernet cable. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| And they're like, check all your cables because you never know what could happen. | ||
| And so I started looking through the tweets of that, and it showed there's a link to a company that made a fiber cable. | ||
| And the description of what the fiber cable could do is that it could listen the entire length of the cable. | ||
| And it was sort of saying it was just to be able to listen for like water underground, like water pipes that are leaking and things like that. | ||
| But it doesn't say the limit of what it can hear and where it's being used, which is alarming. | ||
| Could you imagine if it turned out that everything, every wire in everyone's house is secretly a microphone and the government has been years ahead with this data and tuning into everything you've said at every moment all your life? | ||
| So here's the microphone inside the cable. | ||
| What? | ||
| That little tiny thing is a microphone? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Where's your god now? | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Serious. | ||
| Leet Kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet he spells it L-3-3-T. I don't know if I'll be able to find that. | |
| With 3-3-7? | ||
| Is Leet 3-3-7? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 7-3-3-1. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I don't know if I'm going to be able to find this. | ||
| I was taking a shit while I was looking through this deep tweet. | ||
| There's like 5,000 things in here now. | ||
| But it's a scary thing. | ||
| I didn't really know you could even hear audio through fiber that way. | ||
| I know that it's used. | ||
| The light cable you can use in the back of any box, that little red light that's always on is looking for a fiber audio cable, which is the best. | ||
| Did I tell you what Mike Swick told me once? | ||
| Mike Swick was working for the United States government in Russia. | ||
| And they had like a Russian embassy building, you know, American U.S. embassy building in Russia. | ||
| And they developed these devices that they found in the walls of the building that were powered by the movement of the building. | ||
| Because it's a skyscraper, it would have a certain amount of sway through the wind. | ||
| And they had figured out how to make a device that didn't require any sort of additional power source, other than the movement of the building. | ||
| And it could transmit sound. | ||
| They're like, this stuff is so far ahead of anything we knew even existed. | ||
| And they were using this in the building to spy on people. | ||
| Mike Swick told me about that in like 2002. And it happened to him way before that. | ||
| So, we might be, you know, who the fuck knows what they can, I mean, Edward Snowden, this might be the reason why they kept that guy running. | ||
| Because they want to discourage anybody coming out now, at any moment. | ||
| We're going to find out that all of our phones are on 24 hours a day, whether they're out of batteries or not, that there's a certain amount of battery life that your phone retains and the government can listen. | ||
| They know where you are. | ||
| They're GPS trackers tracking your phone, whether it's on or off, everywhere you go. | ||
| You know, a lot of those phones actually do work with GPS when the phone is on airplane mode. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, it's just, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a GPS chip in your phone. | ||
| That's why find your phone works. | ||
| Like, you can go on Apple, find your phone, hey, my phone's in the Bronx. | ||
| Hey, leave it there. | ||
| Don't get shot. | ||
| But listen, that's how they can do that. | ||
| They can find you, Jamie. | ||
| Once they take your eyes, man. | ||
| Once they give you those robot eyes. | ||
| It's in the AirPods. | ||
| It's in the Apple Watch, too. | ||
| It's in all your Apple computers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It's everywhere. | ||
| What? | ||
| How's that possible? | ||
| In case you lose your shit. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| What if I try to lose me? | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| I'm digging these AirPods. | ||
| I've been using these a lot lately. | ||
| Fucking awesome, aren't they? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I was so skeptical. | ||
| Look, I keep them with me all the time. | ||
| They're with me all the time too now. | ||
| My favorite thing about them is the case. | ||
| Because that's one thing I always had with Bluetooth headphones. | ||
| I was like, fuck, I forgot to charge my head. | ||
| And look at this. | ||
| Welcome to the future, bitches. | ||
| I've got a green light in my case. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| And I stick them in my hand. | ||
| I don't even worry about them falling out. | ||
| They don't really fall out. | ||
| They're hard to fall out. | ||
| I had to like hit it. | ||
| I made them fall out of the gym when I was doing chin-ups because my shoulders touched my ears and I made them fall out. | ||
| And when one goes out, the other one stops. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
| And if you have the Apple Watch... | ||
| Too much. | ||
| Too much. | ||
| No, but then you don't need your iPhone for music. | ||
| No! | ||
| Too much. | ||
| You're using your phone. | ||
| You gotta draw lines. | ||
| No, it's better for jogging so you don't have your phone in your pocket when you're listening to music. | ||
| I have a fanny pack that is a neoprene waistband. | ||
| My phone sits in there perfectly. | ||
| Car keys. | ||
| It's extra weight, bro. | ||
| Bro, I don't mind. | ||
| Trying to shave seconds or what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a stud. | |
| I'm running with my dog. | ||
| I'm not shaving any seconds. | ||
| I'm doing a lot of calling. | ||
| Trying to get him out of the bushes. | ||
| My dog fucking loves it now. | ||
| He still hates going in the car, but he's more reluctant. | ||
| He's less reluctant. | ||
| He gets right up to the car because he knows we're going to go run and he loves running. | ||
| And then when we come back, a lot of times I give him a bath too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he loves that too. | |
| Leash, no leash. | ||
| No leash, man. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| He really listens. | ||
| I mean, obviously, he's ahead. | ||
| Some fucking goofball online. | ||
| I posted a video, and I was like a fool. | ||
| I read through some of the comments. | ||
| One of them said, don't let him get ahead of you, bro. | ||
| You're the alpha. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And I'm like, look, I hope you're either joking around... | ||
| You maybe trolled me. | ||
| You might have trolled me, but you might be just a dummy. | ||
| I'm thinking you're probably more of a dummy. | ||
| You have to let your dog ahead of you when you walk on a leash, stupid. | ||
| Otherwise, your dog's walking you, you dumb cunt. | ||
| You're always going to be in the back. | ||
| See, the dog's in front. | ||
| That's the other leash. | ||
| That's where you're wrong, Joe. | ||
| He has to walk next to you. | ||
| I mean, no, because that's what Cesar Millan tells people. | ||
| Like, I don't know shit. | ||
| He doesn't run. | ||
| He's not running with his dog. | ||
| I run with my dog. | ||
| My dog totally listens to me. | ||
| And when he gets too far, I go, stop, dude. | ||
| And he stops. | ||
| Like, he's smart. | ||
| I go, come on back, buddy. | ||
| I've got to take a breather. | ||
| Like, he'll come back and hang out with me. | ||
| Like, he's... | ||
| I let him off the leash. | ||
| I like the fact that he likes to be free. | ||
| He likes to run around. | ||
| I want him to run around. | ||
| He's a sweet dog. | ||
| He's not going to be mean to anybody. | ||
| My new dog doesn't know how to use a leash and it's been trained to not use a leash, but I don't trust it so much because it's like one car honks his horn or something and he freaks out and runs into the traffic or something. | ||
| Yeah, but when there's cars, I always have them on a leash. | ||
| Anytime there's cars, I have them on a leash. | ||
| But when I get out of the cars and we go off into the trails, you know, I mean if people see him, he's like the nicest dog ever. | ||
| Anybody who meets him is like, oh, he's so sweet, you know, so it's not like you have to worry about him being dangerous. | ||
| He just likes to run around, man. | ||
| It's fun to watch. | ||
| It's like you're watching like a little dog, little kid. | ||
| Why don't you bring him here so we can look at him? | ||
| Well, because he's at home. | ||
| He likes to be in his yard, man. | ||
| Go in the pool and swim. | ||
| He swims whenever he wants to. | ||
| That'd be funny if you were the new comic that always brings his dog everywhere, but you brought Golden Retriever. | ||
| Big, big, 75-pound dog everywhere. | ||
| So annoying. | ||
| Tails knocking people's drinks over. | ||
| Asshole! | ||
| Get your fucking dog out of here, man! | ||
| I hate that tail thing. | ||
| So many people are so stupid with their dogs. | ||
| Like, their dog is like a baby. | ||
| Like, they can't leave it alone anywhere. | ||
| Eliza, can't leave it anywhere! | ||
| No. | ||
| Eliza's... | ||
| I've seen her without the dog, occasionally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Blanche. | ||
| He holds it. | ||
| The husband. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He clings onto that thing. | ||
| She's a sweet dog. | ||
| She's definitely a super, super loved and friendly dog. | ||
| I love Blanche. | ||
| Yeah, she's awesome. | ||
| I love dogs, man. | ||
| You know, I mean, that's another good argument for not living in the city. | ||
| Live somewhere where your dog can be free. | ||
| You know, live somewhere where you can go out the backyard and throw a Frisbee for your dog. | ||
| You know, go on hikes. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Don't be stuck in that red and white horror show of taillights and headlight traffic. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's that going to be like in 20 years? | ||
| In the sky. | ||
| Shouldn't we be planning for that? | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's just going to be in the sky. | ||
| It's just going to be like 20 feet up. | ||
| You might have been right with Santa Barbara. | ||
| You know why I think you might have been right? | ||
| Because Santa Barbara is only an hour away. | ||
| So you go up there. | ||
| It's an hour away. | ||
| Important shit, we could always come back. | ||
| Teslas drive us in? | ||
| Is that how that works then? | ||
| Oh yeah, Tesla loop. | ||
| Autonomously drives us in. | ||
| Oh, one of them jammies. | ||
| Is that going to happen? | ||
| I think he's just doing LA though. | ||
| He's probably not going to do Santa Barbara. | ||
| Same county, right? | ||
| He's probably going to go right up to San Francisco. | ||
| Have you heard of Tesla loop? | ||
| In Los Angeles where you can just rent a... | ||
| It's like Uber. | ||
| Say you have to go to San Diego. | ||
| You rent a... | ||
| Somebody will drive a Tesla for you and it's pretty cheap. | ||
| Like $49 down to San Diego and you just ride in a Tesla. | ||
| For $49? | ||
| It's pretty cheap. | ||
| It's like a Tesla Uber type thing. | ||
| I saw it when I got to the airport the last time I was there. | ||
| $49 to San Diego? | ||
| I don't know how much it was. | ||
| I just saw the car. | ||
| I don't know what he's talking about. | ||
| That seems super cheap. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How are they gonna make money? | ||
| Tesla Loop. | ||
| The thing is that new sports car they came out with, that new Roadster, goes 600 miles without a recharge. | ||
| Now you're talking. | ||
| Now I'm interested. | ||
| Now I'm listening. | ||
| 600 miles, huh? | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Obviously not a top speed, but... | ||
| So you can just go wherever you want to go. | ||
| They go to Los Angeles, San Diego, Orange County, Palm Springs. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It starts at $29. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| It's free advertising for the cars. | ||
| People get in them and they're like, holy shit, this thing is nice. | ||
| And then you see that giant dashboard and you go, whoa, you got an iPad in your dash? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is it like an airplane seat you're buying so you could be sitting with other people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But I mean, it's $39. | ||
| You can buy the seat next to you. | ||
| They have a bus that goes every day now from San Francisco to LA that's like an overnight sleeping bus where you sleep in a pod and they have like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's not bad. | ||
| It's obviously not the fastest way to do it, but if you need to go overnight and you can have that time to rest... | ||
| As long as the driver stays awake. | ||
| Okay, that's the scary... | ||
| I mean, I hope the same with the pilot, but... | ||
| Is the driver sleeping? | ||
| I don't know if it's a... | ||
| No, no, no, the pilot can adjust. | ||
| It's still on autopilot too. | ||
| Yeah, the pilot can adjust. | ||
| But maybe those Tesla buses, maybe a Tesla bus, like when them big ass, those big giant trucks that he's making now, put pods in the back of the truck. | ||
| This only goes three or five hundred miles though, right? | ||
| So far, I think. | ||
| Five hundred miles? | ||
| Max one, I think. | ||
| So you go, you stop in San Luis Obispo? | ||
| Unless they're carrying batteries. | ||
| They charge. | ||
| How long do they have to charge for? | ||
| What is the distance in miles from LA to San Francisco? | ||
| If you had a guess. | ||
| 800. No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Not nearly. | ||
| Not nearly. | ||
| I would say probably in the 400s. | ||
| Like 425. 470. 470, you think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never done it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You guys have done it. | |
| Okay. | ||
| You say 800. I say 425. You say 475. You say 600? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's a good bet. | ||
| I don't think it's right, though. | ||
| I think it's way less. | ||
| How many miles is it from Los Angeles to San Francisco? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| 381. Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
San Francisco is about 382 miles Wow. | |
| Interesting. | ||
| As the crow flies. | ||
| What's that mean? | ||
| That means you have a raven, bro. | ||
| I think that's straight. | ||
| Yeah, straight. | ||
| Because they go straight, then go above. | ||
| They don't have to take turns in the mountains. | ||
| I've never heard of that. | ||
| You've never heard of that? | ||
| Never heard of that. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Woodsmen say that kind of talk. | ||
| I'm used to it. | ||
| I thought you fucking city slickers. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| So yeah, a regular Tesla can't do that. | ||
| But they said the new one would be able to drive all the way there and back. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Because that was one of their sayings. | ||
| They said you could drive from San Francisco to LA and back. | ||
| Well, you definitely couldn't do that. | ||
| Because that's more than 600. That's more. | ||
| Maybe the edge of the county. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Barely. | ||
| Stop lying. | ||
| Stop lying. | ||
| You're going to leave me stranded in the desert. | ||
| I'm going to be somewhere halfway back where there's no water and that stupid piece of shit is going to run out of batteries. | ||
| Stop lying. | ||
| Just say it's awesome. | ||
| It goes 600 miles. | ||
| Don't say you can go to San Francisco and back. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| They should make it, electric cars, they should make it wireless charging and then have the roads be like big mats. | ||
| I think they've talked about doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah, I think they have talked about doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| They've talked about having people in some sort of tracks where, you know, you can't change lanes unless, like, you're in a specific spot and that track charges the lane up. | ||
| You basically be in your own little trolley car. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| I think the idea of driving your own car, though, that's on the way out for sure. | ||
| I think we only have like a few, maybe a decade or so more of that shit. | ||
| Yeah, my car just with the lane guidance, you know, that's... | ||
| I did it on the way here. | ||
| I barely drove from Burbank to here just because of my lane. | ||
| My car just drives itself pretty much. | ||
| I just have to put my finger on it so it knows that my finger's on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you think, man? | ||
| Do you think like... | ||
| Do you think people start moving out of LA? Do you think people realize they'll look at this and go, this is unsustainable, I gotta get out now? | ||
| Or do you think it'll take something? | ||
| Like a fucking earthquake or something? | ||
| Earthquake or if Hollywood continues to die, you know? | ||
| Hollywood's not gonna continue to die. | ||
| Well now with YouTube and people are doing it in their houses, you don't need to be in Los Angeles anymore. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| People are making shitloads of money just from their fucking basement. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| I mean, and then the tech community is booming in other cities, too. | ||
| Like, Seattle has a huge tech community. | ||
| You still don't have to come here, though. | ||
| So if you're only here for four or five days out of the month, what are you considering that? | ||
| Why would you have to come here? | ||
| for a cooperative... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Ah, someone just wants to stay in L.A. | ||
| No, no, he doesn't even know what the fuck he's saying. | ||
| Listen to him. | ||
| There's a reason why when YouTube started, all the big people moved here. | ||
| They didn't have to move here then. | ||
| They were all making money at home. | ||
| Well, it seems like a glamorous thing to do, and YouTube does have offices here. | ||
| But the glamorous thing to do, I think, is part of it. | ||
| Like, come on, we're going to move to L.A. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| They made the offices here, though, because everyone was here. | ||
| That's right, bitch. | ||
| Well, we're here. | ||
| Why are we here? | ||
| They got other offices. | ||
| They don't need to be here. | ||
| the one thing that keeps me, there's the comedy store, there's the podcast, and having a great supply of guests, and being around all my friends. | ||
| Those are the reasons to stay here. | ||
| But if we could just have a mass exodus, we've got to get everybody to make enough money when they could just pull up and bail. | ||
| That's what, everybody's got to be able to just pull up and bail, and just like start a new community. | ||
| We could just all move next to Doug Stanhope. | ||
| Too much noise. | ||
| You're not going to sleep. | ||
| You got to make your own thing. | ||
| I think we go to like Santa Ynez. | ||
| We go to some weird cow country type place where people have their own chickens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| No, we're like that. | ||
| The purge happens like that. | ||
| And then five years into it, everyone comes and just kills you and cleans out your city. | ||
| And that's a ghost town. | ||
| Fucking be prepared, bro. | ||
| Got to be locked and loaded, bro. | ||
| It's going to be like the Dark Tower movie. | ||
| You've got to be prepared when they come. | ||
| Let's just move to Solvang. | ||
| That's not a bad spot if you like to drink a lot of wine, right? | ||
| And listen to the ladies talk about the health problems. | ||
| And the llamas or llamas. | ||
| Yeah, they have like alpacas up there. | ||
| They have to fight off the mountain lions. | ||
| The mountain lions come and jack their alpacas. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of amazing spots up the coast. | ||
| You know, it's really interesting. | ||
| We lost like hundreds of yards of Route 1. From a giant landslide, and they still haven't figured out what the fuck to do. | ||
| It's closed still, right? | ||
| Still closed, yeah. | ||
| They're thinking about putting a road over the landslide, but they don't know when, and they want to let it settle. | ||
| Like, hey, what? | ||
| Why don't you just go inward a little and then go around? | ||
| Because if you were driving near that thing, you'd be like, oh my god, oh my god, please don't fall, please don't fall. | ||
| Those 300 yards or whatever where the landfall was, look how big it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Late 2018. How far is it? | |
| It doesn't look far. | ||
| Oh, it's pretty far, dude. | ||
| You've got to look how tiny those cars are. | ||
| That's hundreds of yards for sure. | ||
| Doesn't say the distance. | ||
| Doesn't? | ||
| Well, pull up just so you can see it. | ||
| It ruined five million cubic yards. | ||
| Hold on, go back up a little bit. | ||
| Five million cubic, rained five million cubic yards of rocks and debris on a third of the mile. | ||
| Okay, so it's one third of a mile. | ||
| Wow, that's a lot. | ||
| That's so big. | ||
| You know, miles, 5,000 feet? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, it's divided by 3, so it's like 15. Holy shit. | ||
| So they should just go inwards. | ||
| So go back to the photo again, scroll down. | ||
| Look at how big that fucking slide is. | ||
| Just comes off the mountain. | ||
| There's a before and after, too, where they show the two stages of the landslide. | ||
| They show it before, and then they show the second stage, and then the third stage, where it finally is now. | ||
| It's fucking crazy, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's, um, they have satellite images of what it looked like. | ||
| See, look how much fell off, man. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So what do you have to do now? | ||
| You just can't even go anywhere near there, right? | ||
| No! | ||
| No! | ||
| Don't drive there! | ||
| It's gonna keep falling! | ||
| There's, like, somebody's house is right there, too. | ||
| It's like, I'm screwed. | ||
| He's so fucked. | ||
| He's so fucked. | ||
| It's gonna keep falling. | ||
| Like, more parts are gonna fall. | ||
| And they think part of it is, um, uh, the root system isn't strong enough to keep the, uh, The more trees and roots you have, the less likely it is to have the landslides, I guess, because the trees and the root system keep all the dirt. | ||
| So then if you have poor rainfall, then the trees don't grow as much, you don't have as much weeds, you don't have as much shit on the side of the hill. | ||
| You ever seen when you drive by Malibu and they've got cement all up on the side of certain hills and mesh and shit to keep things from falling? | ||
| Are these people holding on to their chunk of dirt with every tooth and claw? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's supposedly, like, a lot of places, because of all the fires, like, this winter, it's gonna be mudslides everywhere for us. | ||
| That's what I've heard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Burbank. | ||
| They say that the fire, one thing that the fires are good for, though, is, like, you need to burn some of that shit down, and it's supposed to be healthy, puts minerals in the soil, and then it builds things back up. | ||
| And then these fires through, like, lightning strikes were, like, super common. | ||
| And then things would burn down, and the rain would come, and they would repopulate with new seeds and shit. | ||
| Did you see this guy figured out how to put together sand so you could... | ||
| Stand on it. | ||
| Yeah, he put a car on it. | ||
| Yeah, he put pieces of paper in between the sand and then he pulled the sides off of it and the paper being compressed in between these pieces of sand allows it to hold tremendous weight without losing its form. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's super weird. | ||
| See how it is? | ||
| It's like each thing is like a slice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, see if they show how he did it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's pretty crazy. | ||
| So that's sort of how it works. | ||
| Similar, how you said the side of a freeway made me think of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So that's what they do with the side of the freeways thing? | ||
| That's how they reinforce those things? | ||
| Yeah, if you see them slowly build it up, it's kind of crazy to watch them do it, but... | ||
| Dude, I watched something really crazy. | ||
| You ever go to the If You High? | ||
| I started following it because you retweeted it yesterday. | ||
| Yeah, if you go to If You High, they have a thing where they're building a bridge, and they're moving a fucking gigantic girder, and this girder is like 100 yards wide, and they're picking it up. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This thing, it's a machine. | ||
| It goes to the end of the bridge where the edge is because they're building the bridge. | ||
| It stops and then this other thing comes down and then it moves forward and then connects. | ||
| It connects with the other side. | ||
| You've seen this? | ||
| Yeah, this is sweet. | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| So it connects to the other side, extends, and then once it does that, then they bring in this huge cement girder. | ||
| I mean, it is fucking... | ||
| You see how small the people look next to it? | ||
| It's fucking huge. | ||
| This is cool. | ||
| It's like a football field, right? | ||
| I mean, isn't it? | ||
| Is that close to a football field? | ||
| How far is that? | ||
| Yeah, at least half of one, if not a full one. | ||
| At least 50 yards, right? | ||
| 50 yards of solid concrete and steel. | ||
| It's huge! | ||
| And they set it down on top of these stone pillars and everybody must be shitting their pants going, what are we doing up here? | ||
| What are we doing up here? | ||
| What are we doing up here? | ||
| Where is this? | ||
| Japan or China? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Beijing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow Joint Machinery Company. | ||
| I mean, that's how they do it, man, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's sweet. | |
| The crazy thing is to think that they built the Brooklyn Bridge back when? | ||
| When did they build that goddamn thing? | ||
| When did they build the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge? | ||
| When the fuck did they build that thing? | ||
| I mean, that was a long goddamn time ago, and that thing's still up. | ||
| It's so weird, the idea of building over water, too. | ||
| You have to, like, go nowhere. | ||
| To the point where you could drive a car over it? | ||
| Yeah, that's nuts. | ||
| 1933, the Golden Gate Bridge was built. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| How long did it take them? | ||
| People back then worked harder. | ||
| They were different. | ||
| They had stronger hands. | ||
| How many years do you think it took to build? | ||
| I want to say it took two years. | ||
| I'd say five years. | ||
| What do you say, Jamie? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| At least ten. | ||
| Ten? | ||
| Easily. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I think I'm right. | ||
| I think it's like two years. | ||
| What'd you say, Brian? | ||
| Five. | ||
| Two, five, ten. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| How many workers? | ||
| What do we got? | ||
| 35 million bucks? | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| That's like J-Lo's house. | ||
| Six things you may not know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Why don't you just Google how long did it take? | ||
| I figured it when I came up right here. | ||
| Determined. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How long did it take to build the Golden Gate Bridge? | |
| Four and a half years. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Four and a half years. | ||
| You went over, bro. | ||
| It doesn't count, bro. | ||
| You went too far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
5.1 years. | |
| You can't go over. | ||
| It's like Price is Right. | ||
| Isn't that how Price is Right works? | ||
| You go over. | ||
| It's like you do up to 21. No, you said hit me and you fucked up. | ||
| I could've won with one and one. | ||
| Yeah, you could've won with one. | ||
| No, you wouldn't have won with one because I had two. | ||
| So I was closer. | ||
| Two years, one day. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I win. | ||
| You would've won. | ||
| Yeah, you would've won. | ||
| You would've got that. | ||
| I'm not playing by those rules. | ||
| That's amazing that they built it that quick back then. | ||
| Think of that. | ||
| Like, less than five years, they built this incredible bridge that's still up. | ||
| And they did it in the Stone Age. | ||
| There was a lot more slaves back then. | ||
| They weren't. | ||
| They probably were though, right? | ||
| The Chinese people that built the railroads, they weren't technically slaves, but they weren't going anywhere either. | ||
| The Brooklyn Bridge was in 1870. Oh! | ||
| We did it first! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| The construction was started in 1870. It began technically 1869 because it was January 3rd. | ||
| You know what's interesting about that? | ||
| They're tearing down a bridge in downtown LA right now. | ||
| The 6th Street Bridge. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They exploded it last year, I think. | ||
| Yeah, they're rebuilding it because it has something called concrete cancer. | ||
| Like, the concrete was rotting out. | ||
| Like, how are these dummies... | ||
| Do such a shitty job in this goddamn L.A. thing. | ||
| The bridge smoked a lot. | ||
| It was out here with all the fucking shitty traffic and bad air. | ||
| Imagine if that pollution actually destroyed concrete. | ||
| Yeah, pollution has been bad this year in Los Angeles. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Beautiful bridge. | ||
| Last night we were on a no chimney. | ||
| We weren't allowed to use fireplaces if you had a fireplace. | ||
| Doesn't that seem weird? | ||
| They can't just fix that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't that seem weird? | ||
| I mean, I guess it makes sense if the concrete's starting to break down. | ||
| Just, what a shit design. | ||
| Can you get your money back? | ||
| You know? | ||
| That was built in 1932. That's what was always said to those 9-11 truthers. | ||
| You know, like, everybody was, uh, they were pissed at this guy that owned Tower 7. You know, he said, pull it. | ||
| Pull the building. | ||
| You know what always drives me crazy? | ||
| Like, why didn't that guy freak out that that building just collapsed? | ||
| If that was my building and it lit on fire and just collapsed like that, I'm like, who the fuck designed this piece of shit? | ||
| Like, look at the building. | ||
| Look how it collapsed. | ||
| Like, did you guys not know that maybe it could catch fire? | ||
| You didn't plan for that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Well, you make me a new building, motherfucker. | ||
| Make it so they can light on fire and I can just rebuild it. | ||
| Don't make it so it collapses. | ||
| Should have bought the extended warranty. | ||
| The AppleCare. | ||
| They had insurance, right? | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| Well, that's what the whole conspiracy is about. | ||
| That he told them to pull the building, have it all collapse. | ||
| How are insurance companies alive you know like look at all the the houses in puerto rico and texas and all that stuff that happened this year how is like nationwide still not running out of money that's a good question that's a very good question yeah i mean that's a lot like the cars you see a lot of cars of all the cars that got ruined for in houston like just like thousands of cars and you can't do anything with those cars you can't sell those cars no I wonder if they can even use the frames. | ||
| I mean, the frames might be rotten. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Rust and shit. | ||
| Probably not to melt everything. | ||
| A million cars in Houston. | ||
| And they're saying that a lot of them are being sold in Los Angeles and stuff. | ||
| People are buying them and trying to clean them up to make them look like they're fine. | ||
| Well, I wonder if you could just rewire them. | ||
| No, there's so much mold and stuff in there. | ||
| Are you a mechanic? | ||
| No, I saw a thing on it on the news, like why they can't use them. | ||
| My mom's car got flooded in the 90s when it flooded in Ohio. | ||
| We lived on the bottom of a hill. | ||
| The whole shit flooded. | ||
| A lot of people's houses were owned. | ||
| The car was fucked and didn't even get that much water in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's total. | ||
| Shouldn't they make a car that you can get wet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a little waterproof? | ||
| You can drive it in the lake, but no one ever wanted that piece of shit. | ||
| Yeah, but remember when they couldn't do that with iPhones? | ||
| Like, there's no way. | ||
| Can't make it waterproof. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's one thing. | ||
| The Razer phone's not waterproof. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nowadays. | ||
| Yeah, nowadays you need that. | ||
| But it does have the power button right here. | ||
| There's also a thumbprint sensor. | ||
| Thumbprint sensor, yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's a beautiful phone. | ||
| It's weird how the design's like a square. | ||
| What's the battery life on it? | ||
| Phenomenal. | ||
| It's 4,000 milliamps. | ||
| Are you using it as your main phone right now? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Mostly using it to play games on. | ||
| Fuck around with it. | ||
| The sound is amazing. | ||
| When you play music on it, it's fucking incredible. | ||
| The gaming is supposed to be badass on it. | ||
| If you like watching a YouTube video, it's fucking loud. | ||
| Like you're watching it on a laptop with really good screen speakers. | ||
| You turned on the 120 hertz, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| It's one of the very few cell phones that has 120 hertz frame rate. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So it means that you get 120 frames per second sometimes. | ||
| You know, depending on the game, which is like super silky smooth if you're playing something. | ||
| Like, and you're watching video. | ||
| Most things, it's not going to be able to take advantage of it, but games, a lot of games can. | ||
| Is this out yet? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's out. | ||
| Dude, there's a lot of fun. | ||
| There's one called, I was watching Unblox Therapy. | ||
| Unblox? | ||
| Unblox Therapy. | ||
| Lewis had an article, or a video, rather, on the 1FT, is that it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 5T, is that it? | ||
| 1 plus 5T? Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Is that how I say it? | ||
| Something like that, yeah. | ||
| See if that's the right thing to say, but that thing looks fucking incredible. | ||
| The big one. | ||
| Yeah, and it's half the price of like a Galaxy Note 8 or... | ||
| It's like $299. | ||
| It's $500. | ||
| It's $500. | ||
| Yeah, OnePlus 5T. Yeah, that thing... | ||
| So like, my point was that the level of cell phone, like your iPhone X, 10, sorry. | ||
| Sorry, nerds, don't get mad. | ||
| It's X. It's a fucking 10, bro! | ||
| Or even, you know, any of the new Google Pixels... | ||
| The level's so high now. | ||
| Everything, the Samsung Note, it's like these, everything is, like, I was watching a video comparison, and they are nitpicking. | ||
| I mean, these guys are nitpicking to find anything wrong with any of these phones. | ||
| Like, these things are like, they're literally like science fiction from ten years ago. | ||
| Ten years ago, the things that these things can do. | ||
| It opens with your face? | ||
| You look at it and it opens? | ||
| The OneFT has that, too. | ||
| One Plus FT? My Note has it. | ||
| My Note 8. It does have that? | ||
| Yeah, my Note 8 has it, but it's not the same level. | ||
| You have to stick it in your face. | ||
| The Note has retina detection, which is different. | ||
| This is facial recognition. | ||
| And then the One Plus FT has an even better version of facial recognition than the iPhone. | ||
| And Louis was showing how quick it opens. | ||
| He's like, how quick this opens? | ||
| Maybe I did not think about the same phone. | ||
| And it also has a fingerprint sensor in the back, which the iPhone doesn't have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a big-ass screen. | ||
| It's got a big-ass screen with little tiny-ass bezels. | ||
| It looks smooth. | ||
| The level, my point is, is just super high right now. | ||
| We're dorks like you and me. | ||
| Yeah, they're saying the next year one, they're already guessing at what next year's iPhone is. | ||
| They've got a patent for folding. | ||
| They unfold. | ||
| Which is cool in some ways. | ||
| Like imagine having like a normal size phone, but then you could fold it and make it an iPad. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Apparently they're really close to doing something like that. | ||
| I think there's at one point in time, they're going to figure out a way to put it in your glasses. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's going to be more like glasses or even just like a contact lens that you never take out. | ||
| Yeah, but if they have some dope sunglasses, like some cool frame, like Elton John style frames, and you have just a full screen computer playing in virtual reality in front of you all the time. | ||
| That might be the way to go. | ||
| I can't believe Google Glasses didn't really take off too much. | ||
| They weren't that good. | ||
| It was too small. | ||
| You were looking at it. | ||
| I tried it once. | ||
| I wore it during one of the UFC weigh-ins. | ||
| You're looking at this little thing over here, and you look down, you can see it, and you can look up and you don't. | ||
| You kind of look past it, but it's kind of there. | ||
| Wasn't right. | ||
| It wasn't the right thing. | ||
| I think augmented reality, where you're either looking through your phone or you have glasses on. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| You're going to have clear glasses on, and you're going to have your phone, and you're going to be able to switch to glass mode, and your phone will be in your pocket, and it'll Bluetooth with the glasses, and the glasses will be able to pull up anything. | ||
| That was the other thing that's pretty crazy about some of the new Google devices. | ||
| You take a photo of something, and it tells you what that thing is. | ||
| Like, you take a photo of the Colosseum, and it'll say, this is the Colosseum in Rome. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Yeah, the new Pixel does. | ||
| It has that built in. | ||
| And how about this? | ||
| They have this thing called the Pixel Book. | ||
| Have you seen the Pixel Book? | ||
| You buy a pen, and you circle things on the screen, and it tells you what those things are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My Note 8 has that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My Note 8, you can just circle, like, a sentence, and it will translate it for you. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty sweet. | ||
| How long before that becomes just standard? | ||
| We're going to get to some sort of Rosetta Stone type situation where we can read each other's thoughts. | ||
| You'll be able to talk. | ||
| Right now, the note-taking software is pretty goddamn good. | ||
| It's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| If you talk into your phone, whether it's with Google Notes or anything else, with Apple Notes, it'll pick up your voice very, very well. | ||
| What is it going to be like in five years from now? | ||
| I mean, it's going to be incredible. | ||
| And you're going to be able to do it in real time like they're doing with those earbuds, those Google earbuds. | ||
| You know, they're going to be able to do that in real time all the time. | ||
| And so there's going to be no language barriers that anybody ever has with anybody else. | ||
| It's amazing, isn't it? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And then when you have the robot fights, between the robot fights and no language barriers, arrange, what is this? | ||
| I saw this at TwitchCon. | ||
| It's this eye tracking new... | ||
| It replaces your mouse, basically. | ||
| Using your eyes? | ||
| Yeah, it's a little sensor that's on the bottom, right below your screen, kind of, like where the fold is on your laptop, basically. | ||
| And you do a little bit of setting up, and it literally tracks everything you're looking at. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It did it really well. | ||
| I saw a little test right in front of me. | ||
| Would that work for games? | ||
| That's the idea for it. | ||
| If you were tired, though, it wouldn't work. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Maybe you, bitch. | ||
| That would be insane. | ||
| Imagine if you got that down to games and your cursor moved exactly where you wanted to go. | ||
| It might be too easy. | ||
| It'd be fucking people up with that. | ||
| Wait a second. | ||
| Is this an old video? | ||
| They were just advertising they had US 2.0 instead of 3.0. | ||
| It just works over 2.0. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Tag your enemies by glancing at them. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah, so whether or not games are actually needed or it becomes something actually useful in the future, we'll see. | ||
| But it's been announced and it's coming soon, or it's out now. | ||
| Some Alienware laptops, I think, are having it built into it. | ||
| Do not aim with my eyes. | ||
| Do not aim with my eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forget the face of your father. | |
| Yeah, we're, I mean, we're at the cusp of some really wacky virtual reality, augmented reality type shit that's just around the corner. | ||
| It's gonna happen, it's gonna take us by storm, and it's gonna be just like all these other things that we use, like, automatically, we don't even think about it. | ||
| Because before Twitter existed, you didn't even think about it. | ||
| Before podcasts existed, you never even thought this could be a possibility. | ||
| That's gonna be the new one. | ||
| That's gonna be fucking crazy. | ||
| Some augmented reality type shit that you wear, and then eventually, they're gonna have the robot eyeballs. | ||
| Brian's gonna go. | ||
| He's gonna be an early adopter. | ||
| I'll do one of them first. | ||
| He's gonna be like, I'm tired of wearing glasses. | ||
| Can't read my phone. | ||
| I've lost my glasses. | ||
| But I would do one first. | ||
| After a few years of testing and stuff like that. | ||
| But, uh, would you do one? | ||
| Try one out. | ||
| I think there's going to be a bunch of options. | ||
| I think there's going to be options in terms of like augmented parts. | ||
| And then I think there's also going to be options in terms of like them being able to regenerate parts. | ||
| I think that's just around the corner too. | ||
| Because they can regenerate a lot of shit now with stem cells. | ||
| They grew a woman's bladder. | ||
| They made a bladder with skin cells and she had bladder cancer. | ||
| They grew her a new bladder. | ||
| There was that guy that's growing a new nose on his forehead. | ||
| Do you see that? | ||
| Is that from the same thing? | ||
| From stem cells? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| And it's weird. | ||
| Like, on his forehead, he has a nose growing, or it's an ear, and he's growing it for him, his nose. | ||
| I wonder how long he has to do that for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Wear hats, no one will know. | ||
| I saw a dude where, a video, rather, where a dude was getting his... | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| He's gonna have a crazy nose. | ||
| God, what... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| It looks fake, but it's on National Geographic, so I don't know if it is. | ||
| Yeah, it's real. | ||
| What's wrong with his regular nose? | ||
| I think... | ||
| I forget what happened. | ||
| Wow, that's so strange. | ||
| Oh, it looks like it was burnt. | ||
| Man, that's another really crazy thing. | ||
| Have you ever seen what they do with skin that's been burnt now? | ||
| They spray stem cells, all of the skin, and it kills the burns and regenerates fresh tissue in those areas and you don't have a scar. | ||
| That's sweet. | ||
| That's like science fiction. | ||
| I mean, that's literally out of Star Wars or something. | ||
| Like, when you see it, they show people with these, like, really bad third-degree burns. | ||
| They're pretty fucked up. | ||
| And they spray this stem cell mist all over them, and then their skin just regenerates tissue. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| Future. | ||
| Yeah, but it's really, essentially, we're talking about something that just a decade or two ago would be absolutely witchcraft. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| And they're blocking it, too. | ||
| Like, we could be farther ahead in this whole field if they let stem cell shit be a little bit more legal here in the United States. | ||
| Well, I think it's more legal now than it used to be. | ||
| But I think the real issue was during the Bush administration. | ||
| I think it was, like, fetal stem cells they had a problem with. | ||
| They're really worried that people are going to get abortions just on purpose so they could... | ||
| Sell the babies to stem cell places and that people would be super immoral and just have a bunch of abortions and make money off the baby tissue. | ||
| I was like, ooh. | ||
| Which, it tells me something. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Right? | ||
| The problem is, like, no, nobody would do that. | ||
| Yes, they would, motherfucker. | ||
| This hasn't been approved yet. | ||
| So, put it on, people. | ||
| Jesus Christ, what are you waiting, forever? | ||
| Dude, if you got burnt and they offered it to you, take it. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| There's videos. | ||
| The videos look good. | ||
| Just, here's the thing. | ||
| All the people that are like crazy conspiracy theorists and worried about science and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
| You gotta realize that science is responsible for this kind of shit. | ||
| Science might be able to save one of your kids. | ||
| Science might be able to fix your body. | ||
| These people are smarter than us. | ||
| We need to respect them. | ||
| And they're not lying about this stuff. | ||
| Yeah, there's people in the medical industry that make a lot of money off of pharmaceutical drugs and a bunch of things that make people super addicted and fuck up your life. | ||
| There's that too. | ||
| But there's also this. | ||
| It's like, it's not perfect. | ||
| You should definitely call out the parts that are bad. | ||
| But you gotta respect the people that are smarter than us. | ||
| That are making all the awesome shit. | ||
| Because it's not you. | ||
| And it's not me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| But Jesus, Joe. | ||
| Jesus doesn't want us. | ||
| Jesus made the people that made the awesome shit. | ||
| So there, I'll give you that. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| We'll leave it a thought. | ||
| And walk away friends. | ||
| You got a show. | ||
| Big show tonight. | ||
| Tonight, yeah. | ||
| Natasha Leggero, Moshe Kasher, Mary Lynn Rice. | ||
| Got a bunch of people. | ||
| Brandon Schraub. | ||
| Brendan Schaub, Lucas. | ||
| Lucas Hurl, yeah. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Jeremiah Watkins. | ||
| Jeremiah Watkins, Pat Reagan. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It's going to be fun. | ||
| It's at 8.30. | ||
| That's tonight. | ||
| Comedy store. | ||
| And then tomorrow I'm doing Sam Tripoli's show that's in the main room that's got a bunch of killers on it, too. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| This weekend, Detroit. | ||
| I think shows are sold out. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I should pay more attention. | ||
| But we'll be back tomorrow with C.T. Fletcher and Brian Callen. | ||
| It's a fucking double-header day! | ||
| No, I won't let Brian Callen ruin C.T. Fletcher's interview. | ||
| Don't worry. |
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