Oct. 23, 2017 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:44:09
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Good. | ||
| Four, three, two, one. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And we're live, Brian Redband. | ||
| How are you feeling, buddy? | ||
| Feeling it? | ||
| I'm feeling great. | ||
| Feeling it in here? | ||
| Feeling great. | ||
| Sore butt. | ||
| I love this new studio. | ||
| It's so amazing. | ||
| It's crazy how much stuff you're going to have in here. | ||
| It's going to be badass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're working on it. | ||
| We're making it happen. | ||
| Before we do this, I have to apologize. | ||
| I have to apologize for something I said last week, last Tuesday, in passing. | ||
| We were watching a Corey Feldman clip, and Corey Feldman was doing this crazy dance, and Greg Fitzsimmons was in, and Corey Feldman had some little tight jacket on. | ||
| It's this weird song he was singing. | ||
| And I said that jacket, was he wearing that jacket when he was young and he got diddled? | ||
| I was trying to make Greg laugh, right? | ||
| You're trying to say fucked up things to make comedians laugh, which is what we do when we get together. | ||
| We say the most heinous shit. | ||
| But I felt terrible after somebody pointed it out. | ||
| I didn't even remember saying it. | ||
| Someone pointed it out and then Saturday I watched it. | ||
| And I felt so terrible. | ||
| Because the clip, especially like out of context, like it's just me laughing about him getting diddled. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it just, it's horrible. | ||
| Anything that's taken out of context like that's going to make you feel weird if you don't see that. | ||
| Yes, but there's no excuse. | ||
| Like what it is, it was... | ||
| You swing at a lot of pitches when you're doing live podcasts and sometimes you hit yourself in the dick with a bat. | ||
| And that's what I did. | ||
| It was totally wrong. | ||
| It wasn't funny. | ||
| I took a swing. | ||
| It was the wrong thing to do. | ||
| The best way to describe it is it was thoughtless. | ||
| Because I really didn't think. | ||
| I was just trying to say something fucked up to make Greg laugh. | ||
| I wasn't thinking, like, this is a real person. | ||
| And I watched him the other day in a movie, man. | ||
| I saw him in Gremlins. | ||
| I was watching Gremlins with my kids. | ||
| After, actually, we did the podcast. | ||
| Before I watched the clip, though. | ||
| Because I didn't... | ||
| I hadn't seen... | ||
| You know, I do it and then I'm done with it. | ||
| But... | ||
| I didn't think about it. | ||
| I said, first of all, he was doing the Michael Jackson thing. | ||
| He wears a Michael Jackson jacket and he dances like Michael Jackson. | ||
| He said Michael Jackson didn't even do anything to him, so it didn't even make sense. | ||
| It was just a stupid line to say, but I felt terrible. | ||
| I couldn't sleep Saturday night. | ||
| I felt really bad. | ||
| I felt really bad. | ||
| I felt bad for a bunch of reasons. | ||
| One... | ||
| I felt bad because it's a mean thing to say. | ||
| And I didn't... | ||
| I didn't mean it to be. | ||
| Even though it was. | ||
| I was just trying to be funny. | ||
| You know, Patrice O'Neal said something once when he was defending Opie and Anthony. | ||
| He was saying, when someone says something really funny or the same person says something really fucked up, it all comes from the same place. | ||
| Like, they're trying to do the same thing. | ||
| They just miss. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But that was, without a doubt, the worst miss. | ||
| The most... | ||
| The most embarrassing to me, the most depressing, the most, what's the best way to describe it? | ||
| Just so disappointed that I did that. | ||
| Because he was a kid, you know? | ||
| I don't even think he actually got molested. | ||
| I think he was actually saying that Corey Haim got molested and he didn't. | ||
| Well, that would make sense why Corey Haim did so much drugs, you know, if he did get molested, but... | ||
| Well, I started looking into this shit more and more recently, like Hollywood molestation with children. | ||
| It's no joke, man. | ||
| Like, just as it's no joke with sexual harassment and assault with women, what you see with this Harvey Weinstein thing, and these other directors now are getting in trouble for the same thing, the same kind of shit happened to a lot of kids that were involved in these child movies. | ||
| You don't think about that when you're just trying to crack a joke. | ||
| If you were disappointed in me, there's no way you were more disappointed in me than I'm disappointed in me. | ||
| I didn't sleep Saturday. | ||
| I had a hard time sleeping last night. | ||
| I felt bad about it all day. | ||
| I felt terrible. | ||
| And I went to Underwood Farms. | ||
| You know what Underwood Farms is? | ||
| It's a great family time. | ||
| Had a good time with the kids. | ||
| You know, we're picking out pumpkins and doing all this stuff. | ||
| But the entire time I was there, there's like this blanket of like, how did I say that? | ||
| Why did I say that? | ||
| Like, sometimes you'll say something fucked up. | ||
| And then after you did it, you can't believe you said it. | ||
| Especially when we're doing this live, right? | ||
| If you and me were just out at a diner, we would probably say that and laugh to each other because no one's getting hurt by it. | ||
| We're just making each other laugh and we do that all the time, right? | ||
| We say retarded shit to each other all the time. | ||
| But when other people hear it, And then the guy hears it, like if Corey heard it. | ||
| It's just wrong. | ||
| I didn't mean to have that impact, and I didn't think about it. | ||
| It was very thoughtless. | ||
| So I was extremely disappointed in myself. | ||
| But what's interesting about it, trying to look at it from a different perspective, trying to examine it, like the feeling, Of doing something that you shouldn't have done that might have hurt someone's feelings because you were senseless and thoughtless. | ||
| That feeling is a terrible feeling. | ||
| And it's weird. | ||
| It overcomes your whole day. | ||
| I don't think anybody knew because I was still having fun with the family and everybody was laughing. | ||
| We did a lot of kids stuff. | ||
| But at the end of the day... | ||
| That was with me all day. | ||
| I mean, it was like a fucking wet blanket that I was carrying with me. | ||
| Like, a depression blanket. | ||
| And, um... | ||
| There's no, uh... | ||
| There's no other way to put it than, you know, that I'm sorry and that I shouldn't have done it. | ||
| But what I was thinking while it was all happening was, like, this feeling of letting a bunch of people down and hurting someone's feeling, doing something in a mass way, like, on the internet. | ||
| This is a new feeling. | ||
| Like, before you could... | ||
| People could be upset at you, maybe someone you know, or people you work with, and it's a bad feeling. | ||
| But this is a different kind of bad feeling. | ||
| It's an intensified bad feeling, especially like the way I did it, because it's so stupid. | ||
| And I would think that at this age, I'm 50, I'm done saying stupid shit. | ||
| Obviously I'm not. | ||
| You know, I'm not done. | ||
| Like, that's the fucked up thing about being a person. | ||
| It requires constant diligence. | ||
| Like, you have to constantly pay attention to your thinking. | ||
| You have to constantly pay attention to the way you behave and who you are. | ||
| You can't just go off the cuff. | ||
| And the other thing it's making me think of, you know, I'm doing this sober October thing. | ||
| And obviously I love pot. | ||
| And I've always loved pot. | ||
| And I've been a regular pot smoker for 20 years. | ||
| But there is a difference in my personality when I'm not smoking pot. | ||
| Grumpy? | ||
| More tense, less kind, and I have to catch myself before I get upset about things. | ||
| Whereas when I'm high, not even if I'm high, but if I'm just smoking on a regular basis, I'm way more mellow, way more relaxed about things, and way more... | ||
| I guess the right word is humble. | ||
| It's not like I'm cocky when I'm sober, but I'm like really aware, much more aware of gratitude and fortune, like I'm lucky and appreciative of my friends. | ||
| I want to hug people more. | ||
| Like, pot has a lot of, for me, for my fucked up brain, has a lot of really positive effects. | ||
| There's a lot of really positive personality effects. | ||
| But I think I might be downplaying my dependence on it. | ||
| Like, I think I might have been going like, ah, it's nothing. | ||
| I'll just fucking quit pot. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| Man, I don't know about all that. | ||
| My dreams. | ||
| Here's another thing. | ||
| You remember them. | ||
| Dude, I don't just remember them. | ||
| They're fucking crazy. | ||
| They're all wolves and bears and drowning and falling off buildings and fucking lava coming at you. | ||
| It's all primal shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| I'm having all these predator dreams. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Like, I had these dreams, these almost cartoon wolves. | ||
| They had these giant feet, and they were like running through the woods. | ||
| And I'm somehow or another trying to get away from them. | ||
| I had a dream that I was, for some reason, I was crawling through some fucking cave. | ||
| And there was an enormous bear inside this cave and it was looking at me and I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| And it was like, trying to figure out whether or not the bear was gonna come after me. | ||
| But I mean, super vivid. | ||
| I don't remember my dreams when I was getting high. | ||
| Unless I took the alpha brain before I went to sleep, that will fucking spark you up some crazy lucid dreams. | ||
| But other than that, I would just sleep good. | ||
| I never had a problem sleeping. | ||
| I'd get up in the morning and I'd be fine. | ||
| But there is a big difference between me when I'm using pot and me when I'm not using pot. | ||
| I'm noticing the same thing with Ari. | ||
| He gets a little more intense about things, a little more upset about things. | ||
| He fucking gets really mad at people on comments. | ||
| He fucking fights with people online. | ||
| They call him a welcher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you! | |
| I'm not a welcher! | ||
| He's like super intense. | ||
| Have you switched anything? | ||
| Have you done anything more since you've done this? | ||
| Like, are you drinking more coffee every day? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, I'm doing so much goddamn yoga because we have this hot yoga challenge. | ||
| And the hot yoga challenge is you have to do 15 in a month. | ||
| Well, my dumbass did one the first week and two the second week. | ||
| So I've been on a rampage where I've done eight straight days of yoga in a row as of today. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I have four more to go. | ||
| That's Tom's biggest problem. | ||
| Tom, a week? | ||
| I got a week! | ||
| Yeah, well, I have four to do, though. | ||
| I mean, I have until next Tuesday. | ||
| So I could kill it on Thanksgiving. | ||
| The 31st could be my last one. | ||
| But I'm not going to do that. | ||
| I'm banging them all out this week. | ||
| We're doing it together for the first time. | ||
| Ari, Tom, Bert, and I. We're doing it together. | ||
| I don't want to say where, and I don't want to say when, because I don't want you fucking freaks showing up. | ||
| But we're going to do it together one day this week. | ||
| That's what Tom's biggest problem is. | ||
| He's so busy trying to fit in. | ||
| You got him doing 90-minute hot yoga, which I thought was insane because they've never done it, right? | ||
| Right, never. | ||
| 90 minutes is a long time. | ||
| Well, I do it every week, but I usually only do it once or twice a week. | ||
| And now I've done eight fucking days in a row as of today. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| I'm shredded though, son. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Getting shredded. | ||
| I mean, I'm burning off so many fucking calories. | ||
| I actually had blood work done today, so I'm very interested to see what my mineral levels are like because I'm sweating out so much and I'm not really supplementing minerals that much. | ||
| I might have to do that. | ||
| I do that on a regular basis until like every three months I get blood work done to seal it. | ||
| Where my nutrient levels are and shit. | ||
| I just found this company. | ||
| I don't know if you've heard it. | ||
| I think it's called like Simply Well. | ||
| And it's like they have all these DNA tests that you can do. | ||
| So I ordered the testosterone test. | ||
| But they also have allergy tests. | ||
| They have all these tests and they send it to you. | ||
| You like spit in a vial, take some hair or something like that. | ||
| And then it's kind of like 24 and Me where it's like the DNA testing. | ||
| But they have it for everything. | ||
| Vitamin D deficiencies. | ||
| And you could have it like on a subscription where you get it done every... | ||
| They send you a new kit every three months to see if it's changed. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Testosterone? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I got. | ||
| I just got it yesterday. | ||
| So to get off this Corey Feldman thing, just the end of the day, I just want to say that I'm sorry, and if I disappoint anybody, I'm sorry too. | ||
| Just when you, you know, comedians try to say fucked up things to each other. | ||
| You know, I was talking to Colin Quinn about this the other night. | ||
| Colin was at the comedy store. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And I told Colin and I were talking. | ||
| I go, man, I miss Tough Crowd. | ||
| He goes, oh, I miss it so much. | ||
| He goes, but you know what? | ||
| We could never fucking do it today. | ||
| He goes, but you can just think of the things that Patrice and Nick DiPaolo would say to each other. | ||
| He's like, if you did that today, people would have riots. | ||
| They would be protesting. | ||
| They would try to have the show shut down. | ||
| Comedy Central would freak out. | ||
| People would get fired. | ||
| I was like, you're probably right, but that was like the best show ever on Comedy Central. | ||
| Next to the Chappelle show. | ||
| No, next to South Park. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| South Park, number one. | ||
| Chappelle show, number two. | ||
| Tough crowd, number three. | ||
| In my opinion. | ||
| South Park's still going for it. | ||
| Still going for it. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They have this new video game. | ||
| It's called Butthole. | ||
| Fractured Butthole. | ||
| Fractured Butthole. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| But there's like a part where you're like these little boys and you're dressed up as strippers and you're in a strip club, you're doing lap dances for guys, so you're on a guy's junk. | ||
| So rude. | ||
| It's such a great game. | ||
| So rude. | ||
| So, anyway, these moments where you fuck up, these terrible feelings, like, this is how I'm looking at it. | ||
| I wish I could take it back, but I can't, right? | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| And if people are mad at me now because of that, you're right, you know? | ||
| I'm not trying to make any excuses for myself. | ||
| I shouldn't have said it. | ||
| But when you do have these moments where you fuck up and you feel terrible, there are an amazing opportunity to grow. | ||
| You know, and I think people need to look at stuff like that this way, or at least I've been looking at stuff this way for the last like 10 years or so. | ||
| And it's made a big impact in my life. | ||
| Because I think regular change happens in like a... | ||
| Regular change and growth happens in a grinding, slow sort of progression. | ||
| But when something fucked up happens, when you do something fucked up and you get that terrible feeling, you have this opportunity for these leaps of understanding and these bad feelings that happen. | ||
| It's a big alarm to let you know. | ||
| And one of the things that I was thinking about is that human beings now, the way we interact with each other, there's a lot of pressure now on people because there's all this call-out culture. | ||
| People are getting mad that people are doing dumb shit, like white girls wearing braids, cultural appropriation. | ||
| They're going after white guys wearing dreadlocks, and people are mad that people are dressing up like geishas, and they're calling them out. | ||
| There's a lot of silliness to all this shit, but what's interesting about it is Everyone is expressing their displeasure and pleasure of things. | ||
| They're expressing their anger with things and their happiness with things at a level we've never seen before. | ||
| And I think people that experience this, like if it makes sense, like it's one thing if somebody gets mad at you for something like, you know, you shouldn't be wearing that blue hat, man. | ||
| You know, I'm in the Crips and, you know, we only support red hats. | ||
| Or is it the Bloods? | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I think the bloods, the Crips are blue, right? | ||
| I mean, if someone gets mad at you for something that doesn't make any sense, that's stupid. | ||
| But if someone gets mad at you for poking fun at someone being molested, that bad feeling is valid, right? | ||
| And I think these bad feelings that like Donald Trump must feel 24 seven, like there is probably I mean, part of I think part of the reason why he's so angry at people and bitter and barking at fake news, I think he feels like shit all day long because, you know, this guy checks his Twitter. | ||
| You know, he does check. | ||
| He reads his comment. | ||
| He's a fucking egomaniac. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So he's paying attention to news shows that talk shit about him. | ||
| He's paying attention to late night comedians that make jokes about him. | ||
| He's paying attention to Saturday Night Live. | ||
| He can't help himself. | ||
| He's constantly commenting on it. | ||
| And he hears all these people laughing at him and mocking him. | ||
| And he hears all these people that think he's a terrible person. | ||
| Like, I read his Twitter. | ||
| When he'll put up a comment, he'll put up something on Twitter, and then I'll read the comments under it. | ||
| And it's like, holy shit! | ||
| People just go hard at him. | ||
| You know that motherfucker reads that stuff. | ||
| You know he does. | ||
| And he's also involved in a lawsuit, several lawsuits now, where he's blocked people on Twitter, and they're questioning the constitutionality of someone being able to block someone from commenting with the President of the United States. | ||
| I mean, this is a new way to communicate. | ||
| You don't want to hear what people have to say because it's negative? | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| You know, we're not... | ||
| So people are questioning this in court. | ||
| But I think that that feeling that's hitting this guy, he might be too old for it, and he might not be ready for it, and he's got so many things wrong with him to begin with, you know, with the way he treats the world and his ego and the way he's... | ||
| The non-presidential and non-statesman-like behavior that people thought was cute when he was running for office, and now they see he's a giant problem when he's threatening war with nuclear weapons with Korea and shit like that. | ||
| But... | ||
| This thing is a new thing. | ||
| This swarm of bad feeling and in return good feeling when something good happens is a new thing. | ||
| And I think that it's going to shape the way human beings interact with each other in a really radical way. | ||
| Because I don't think it's ever existed like this before. | ||
| It hasn't. | ||
| It really hasn't. | ||
| And if you look at it, if it's a good thing or a bad thing, like, I forget what I was listening to the other day, where when you were a kid, you used to just go outside, say, bye, mom, and then come back at night, you know, when it's time for dinner, eat dinner, then you go play some video games, go to bed. | ||
| Now it's like the communication between your mom and stuff like that is so much more intense. | ||
| It's constant. | ||
| It's constant, all day long. | ||
| It's like, if you're not there, you're getting texted by your daughter or son, and it's like a constant communication, where it's more parenting, so that's good. | ||
| Do you FaceTime with people? | ||
| All the time, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, remember when we were a kid? | ||
| That was some Jetson shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember George Jetson? | ||
| You do it on your phone? | ||
| I do a phone call. | ||
| I was talking on my phone the other day, and I'm like, I am doing Dick Tracy right now. | ||
| You are, but better than Dick Tracy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Dick Tracy's was bullshit. | ||
| I was in the steam room the other day, and my phone was like, uh, I can answer it. | ||
| Hey, what's up? | ||
| Because it actually has a cell phone chip. | ||
| Yeah, this is the three. | ||
| The Amazon guy was at my door. | ||
| I was like, just go in. | ||
| I'm not there, but just go in. | ||
| I'll see you in a little bit. | ||
| And you pop out of the bushes with your dick in your hand, right? | ||
| Is that the move? | ||
| Make yourself comfortable. | ||
| Come on in. | ||
| Is that my package? | ||
| Hey, you can take the box after a comment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| The FedEx guys should be here soon. | ||
| You guys should get together and take pictures of you two. | ||
| I like brown and I like the FedEx outfits cool too. | ||
| We don't fuck around with DHL. Got a disease last time. | ||
| Oh, DHL. I forgot about them. | ||
| On track too. | ||
| DHL is like the RC Cola of delivery services. | ||
| It totally is. | ||
| RC Cola, like if someone said, hey, do you want to own RC Cola? | ||
| You'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| But, you know, it ain't Pepsi. | ||
| Right? | ||
| There's got to be some people out there that are like huge RC Cola fans that have like RC Cola t-shirts on and shit. | ||
| There's got to be. | ||
| Oh, RC Cola is super underrated. | ||
| That diet right. | ||
| What are all those obscure ones like Faygo? | ||
| Like Wu-Tang? | ||
| Oh, Faygo! | ||
| Mr. Pips? | ||
| ICP? What's that badass root beer? | ||
| IBC? That stuff is fucking fantastic. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Goddamn that stuff's good. | ||
| I wish that wasn't bad for you. | ||
| Because goddamn it tastes delicious. | ||
| That is the best fucking root beer on the planet that I've experienced. | ||
| I've tried to not drink soda as much lately. | ||
| Arnold Palmer is my new thing. | ||
| That's like an old person thing, right? | ||
| Arnold Palmer. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I get Arnold Palmers now. | ||
| I drink them all day long. | ||
| Oh, they're delicious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little lemon in there. | ||
| Now, let me ask you this. | ||
| Because I don't think that I would have ever done this many yogas. | ||
| I know I wouldn't have done this many yogas. | ||
| And I know I wouldn't have taken a month off weed. | ||
| And I know I would have taken a month off booze. | ||
| But a month off booze is not hard. | ||
| I mean, the only thing... | ||
| I went the other day to a Mexican restaurant and I wanted a margarita so bad. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| They had these delicious... | ||
| They were ribeye tacos. | ||
| I was like, oh, that looks good. | ||
| They're like fucking... | ||
| With habanero sauce on them. | ||
| I'm like, give me a fucking margarita. | ||
| Oh, shit, I can't have one. | ||
| It really hurt me. | ||
| You could have a fake margarita. | ||
| No, can't have it. | ||
| I wanted a beer, too. | ||
| I wanted a beer and a margarita. | ||
| But that's not hard. | ||
| But I would have never done this. | ||
| I might only take a week off or something like that. | ||
| I would never have taken a month off if we weren't doing this challenge. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| Like, what kind of challenge would you do? | ||
| And would you hang in there and stick with it? | ||
| Because a lot of people don't know, but you lost, like, 70 pounds once over, like, a short amount of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four months. | |
| You went crazy. | ||
| Brian broke up with his girlfriend. | ||
| Fiance. | ||
| Yeah, well, same thing. | ||
| It's all semantics. | ||
| Anyway, broke up and said, you know what? | ||
| What am I going to do with this? | ||
| You got a picture of him all skinny? | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| I'm still not the guy on the left though. | ||
| Boy, you got big at one point. | ||
| 245 to 163. Wow, look how skinny you look. | ||
| Lower right hand side, dude. | ||
| You're a cute little bitch. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at the phone you're holding up! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god! | |
| That's my envy, bro. | ||
| Dude, look at that phone! | ||
| Isn't that hilarious that back then that phone was the shit? | ||
| And if you had that now, you would assume that you live in, like, assisted housing. | ||
| I still have that phone. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you do with it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it a burner? | |
| It sits in a box in storage. | ||
| Text ISIS with it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your burner phone. | ||
| So what did you lose? | ||
| How much did you lose there? | ||
| 245 to 163. Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| 82 pounds. | ||
| 82 pounds. | ||
| Wow, that's more than I thought I had lost. | ||
| You lost a shitload of fucking weight, man. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's Weight Watchers right there, buddy. | ||
| So you did it at one point in time. | ||
| By the way, what the fuck is going on with your underwear line? | ||
| Like, where is it? | ||
| Is it like at the base of your dick? | ||
| It's right above the pew. | ||
| That's the dick root. | ||
| Look at the picture of you holding up the old pants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| And that wasn't even my biggest pants, either. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| What would it take? | ||
| What would you be interested in doing? | ||
| What kind of challenge would you be interested in doing? | ||
| Well, my challenge is, I've been talking to Hinchcliffe about this and a few other people, because one of the biggest things for a lot of us is smoking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cigarettes. | |
| Cigarettes. | ||
| And I've been trying to get, like, we had 9-11. | ||
| Last year, it was supposed to be 9-11. | ||
| We had a month notice. | ||
| All of us were supposed to clit on 9-11, so we wouldn't forget the date. | ||
| You said clit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Clit. | |
| We're supposed to let it go. | ||
| It comes out of your mouth so simple, so easy, so used to saying it. | ||
| But then I was the only one that did it. | ||
| I did it for two days, and then everyone else didn't do it, and they were all smoking. | ||
| When you're at the comedy store and all your friends are smoking around you, it's almost fucking impossible. | ||
| Tony smokes a lot. | ||
| Tony smokes a lot. | ||
| A lot of people smoke a lot at the comedy store. | ||
| So my whole thing was like, hey, let's quit cigarettes. | ||
| And everyone seemed down on it. | ||
| Then yesterday I was like, hey, are we still quitting next month, cigarettes? | ||
| And everyone was like, meh, meh, meh. | ||
| So you guys were going to do it in November? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was going to try to quit. | ||
| Well, listen, why don't we set up a challenge? | ||
| Or at least when I get back from Columbus, Ohio, I'll be there next month. | ||
| Let's think of a challenge that you could do, and who would you do it with? | ||
| You need like... | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe for sure. | ||
| No sugar. | ||
| This is you for a month. | ||
| No sugar, no booze, no cigarettes. | ||
| You would lose fucking 30 pounds just doing that. | ||
| Well, without having cigarettes, I'd probably gain weight because cigarettes actually... | ||
| I think your heartbeat and stuff, when you quit cigarettes, you start munching more on food. | ||
| You usually gain a lot of weight. | ||
| I use it as an appetite suppressant. | ||
| I use it for breakfast. | ||
| Isn't it also a stimulant, though? | ||
| It's a stimulant. | ||
| I definitely need to lose weight, but more importantly, I want to quit cigarettes. | ||
| The drinking, that's easy. | ||
| I quit drinking the other day for four days. | ||
| I didn't drink for four days. | ||
| I smoked weed, though, instead. | ||
| Next day, I was like, why do I have a hangover? | ||
| It was a weed hangover. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You had a weed hangover. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't even realize that when you first start smoking weed, you used to have these. | ||
| Like the next day, you're like, man, I smoke so much weed, I feel like dumb or something like that the next morning. | ||
| I hadn't had that in a while because usually when I'm smoking, I'm drinking. | ||
| So I always blamed it on the drinking. | ||
| Like, goddamn, I feel like I'm hungover. | ||
| Well, I've never had a weed hangover, I don't think. | ||
| You're gonna have one. | ||
| When you start smoking, you're gonna be so fucking high, you're gonna smoke half a joint and be like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm legitimately nervous. | |
| I'm legitimately nervous about smoking pot again. | ||
| But here's my real concern. | ||
| I'm really wondering, like, what is going on where I'm dreaming so much more vividly without pot? | ||
| And is that a bad thing that I'm not dreaming when I'm smoking pot? | ||
| Like, am I somehow or another doing some damage? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think for sure that marijuana, if you smoke a lot of marijuana, that you don't have as good of dreams. | ||
| I don't think you realize. | ||
| I'd just like to point out that you are not a neuroscientist. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Dr. Brian here. | ||
| Dr. Redband. | ||
| What exactly do you think is, what's causing the lack of dreams? | ||
| Another thing, you might have THC and you're fat, and so you're getting THC still burning off, especially since you're doing yoga. | ||
| It's probably still fucking with you a little. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But we got high before most of the podcasts with comedians. | ||
| I got high before most comedy shows. | ||
| So that's like three, four nights a week at least. | ||
| Now I'd take a day or two off and it was nothing. | ||
| Super easy to do. | ||
| It was never a problem. | ||
| But I never took a month off. | ||
| So when I would take a day or two off, even if I go on vacation, right? | ||
| If I went on vacation, I would take a week off. | ||
| People were mocking me relentlessly online. | ||
| Before I told everybody that I was taking the month off, when they started doing all this pray for Joe, people was going, Joe, I don't, in quotes, I don't smoke weed on vacation, Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| It's not a problem. | ||
| It's not a problem. | ||
| But it was just like I'd be in Europe or something like that. | ||
| You can't get weed. | ||
| Don't bring it with you. | ||
| You don't want to go to jail. | ||
| So just don't smoke weed. | ||
| It was no problem. | ||
| So I was like, I don't need pot. | ||
| It's not an issue. | ||
| And I don't need it, obviously. | ||
| I've gone through this whole month. | ||
| But I'm really stunned at... | ||
| The difference is in the way I'm dreaming. | ||
| Like, stunned. | ||
| Like, I never expected it to be so extreme. | ||
| So vivid. | ||
| Every night I'm having fucking crazy dreams. | ||
| Every night. | ||
| And they're almost all primal. | ||
| They're almost all like animals and waterfalls and fucking ocean! | ||
| It's all like a lot of falling. | ||
| Like a lot of like bouncing on shit. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| I think I'm too busy. | ||
| I've been thinking about that lately. | ||
| I think I'm too busy. | ||
| I think I do too much shit. | ||
| And I never thought that before. | ||
| I never thought that before. | ||
| You would think that like smoking pot would make you think you're too busy. | ||
| But not smoking pot makes me think I'm too busy. | ||
| Makes me think that... | ||
| You're probably thinking clearer, though, in some ways. | ||
| Your mind's not fogged with your overthinking about music instead of life. | ||
| Yeah, well, food does not taste as good. | ||
| I'll tell you that. | ||
| Food's way better when you're smoking weed. | ||
| Movies aren't as good. | ||
| Movies aren't as good. | ||
| Music doesn't sound as good. | ||
| I think the key to it is... | ||
| Using it occasionally. | ||
| I think that's the key. | ||
| I think marijuana like daily Terence McKenna talked about this many years ago and he was a he was a daily smoker and one of the things that he was saying he was doing some sort of a lecture and he was saying that the correct way to do marijuana is to not do it for a long time and then do as much as you can stand and Then just fucking hold on And that's how he would do it. | ||
| He would do cannabis when he was doing it correctly, when he wasn't like an inveterate daily smoker. | ||
| He would do it like a psychedelic. | ||
| He would do it in these big bursts where he would, you know, and he was recommending, like, that's the way to do it. | ||
| And that people think they know what cannabis is if they smoke cannabis on a regular basis. | ||
| You don't really know. | ||
| Like, the way to really know what it is is to take a lot of time off. | ||
| Or, obviously, eat one of Joey's edibles. | ||
| I don't do edibles anymore. | ||
| That's one thing. | ||
| I quit completely. | ||
| I don't fuck with edibles at all. | ||
| I would like to see what happens with Joey if he took a week off or a month off. | ||
| Joey would be violent. | ||
| He would attack people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He took a month off of edibles or whatever, right? | ||
| Did he? | ||
| He never gave it up for Lent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joey's not religious. | |
| I give it up for Lent, dog. | ||
| He's going to be here Friday, by the way, folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But if he did take a month off, I mean, he didn't take a month off weed, though. | ||
| That's why I don't think it was smoking. | ||
| I think it was just eating it. | ||
| Yeah, he told me that once. | ||
| He told me, he goes, I can't do these fucking edibles anymore. | ||
| They're too much. | ||
| They're too much, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I'm fucking up. | ||
| I'm taking too much. | ||
| It's messing me up. | ||
| Next time I saw him, next time I saw him, he's down in stars of death. | ||
| Literally, the next time I saw him, I go, how many milligrams are those? | ||
| 125. Throwing down two 125 milligram stars of death. | ||
| I'm like, you are a monster. | ||
| You saw the episode where he passed out, right? | ||
| He passed out on the microphone, right? | ||
| Lee Sai, I can't even see. | ||
| He's like looking at life through like slits. | ||
| Like he's like barely cracking the page of a book. | ||
| Lee is hilarious. | ||
| I was listening to his latest episode with Felicia Michaels, who has a new movie that I'm in called Pervs, where we went through this, like one of those strip things where you put the money in and the curtain comes up and there's a woman naked masturbating. | ||
| Well, Felicia did this movie where she asked me to do it. | ||
| It's in North Hollywood, deep in North Hollywood, where you shouldn't go. | ||
| And it's so gross. | ||
| You're in this gross, creepy room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You forget. | |
| You forget that there's sections in North Hollywood. | ||
| You're like, oh, yeah. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| And this curtain comes up. | ||
| There's all these cameras. | ||
| There's just this woman there masturbating while asking me questions. | ||
| And it's so hard to answer when there's somebody doing that. | ||
| What kind of questions? | ||
| Just like sex questions and stuff. | ||
| I don't remember because it was so long ago. | ||
| I forgot I even did it. | ||
| But Felicia was on the other day. | ||
| And listening to Lee on that, Lee's never been to a strip club before. | ||
| But his little voice, when he chimes in, he's like, I've never been to a strip club before. | ||
| He'd never been to a strip club before? | ||
| No, he's scared of them, he said. | ||
| I want to take that guy to a strip club so bad. | ||
| Why is he scared? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's a money thing because he's just like, I just don't get it. | ||
| You pay the money and then they try to get money out of you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Someone told a story recently about Jeremiah Watkins. | ||
| They took him to a strip club and he freaked out and just ran out the back. | ||
| Same kind of thing. | ||
| I don't know if he's ever been to one or doesn't want to go. | ||
| Yeah, he looked at the ground and walked from the front, never looking up, all the way to the back and out the back door. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did, the other day, this is crazy, I did a show with George Perez in Compton at a strip club in Compton. | ||
| And let me tell you, man, that was one of the most eye-opening, like, that exists. | ||
| We walk in, there's strippers, like, this stripper just came up to me and goes, Hey, honey, look at this pussy. | ||
| I swallow all the babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want to get it? | |
| You want some of this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| What'd she look like? | ||
| Like a baby mama? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a baby mama? | |
| There's still a baby hand sticking out of her, probably. | ||
| A blue baby hand. | ||
| Was she attractive? | ||
| No, there was a few, but then every time you talk to them, you're like, oh, if I fuck up, I'm dead. | ||
| You know, like she was like, yeah, it was pretty crazy. | ||
| Super hostile? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What about the clientele? | ||
| Well, they were mostly there for us. | ||
| George just pretty much, we had the whole club ourselves. | ||
| It was all people coming to see the show. | ||
| And strippers, too, though. | ||
| And strippers, too. | ||
| So it was the idea that you would get people in there for the show, and then the girls would dance for them afterwards. | ||
| Yeah, and while we're doing the show, they were coming and sitting on a table. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, you want to go get some butt sex upstairs? | |
| Butt sex. | ||
| Are you just making that up? | ||
| It was full on, whatever you want, pretty much, place. | ||
| It's fucking scary. | ||
| Yeah, if you go to a bad neighborhood, there's levels to everything, right? | ||
| The levels of stress and pressure that a chick has to deal with if she's a stripper in a really bad neighborhood. | ||
| That's how diamonds get developed, son. | ||
| They get developed. | ||
| You don't develop diamonds in a fluffy pillow. | ||
| You're not going to make a diamond on a Tempur-Pedic mattress. | ||
| It needs fucking pressure. | ||
| Serious, serious pressure, man. | ||
| Like when you see one of the street hookers walking in a bad neighborhood, it looks like that's where they all worked. | ||
| Do you ever tell you a time when Brian Callen met his ex-girlfriend walking the streets? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's harsh. | ||
| That's when you just go, whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He was outside of the Coaching Horses on Sunset? | ||
| You know that place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where Stan Hope used to love? | ||
| Yeah, it's closing out. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's pretty sure it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's too bad. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a good little joint. | ||
| I remember Ralphie Mae, rest in peace. | ||
| We were supposed to meet Ralphie there, and Ralphie showed up an hour later. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck, Ralphie? | ||
| Look in the backseat, and he had like 13 boxes of those jalapeno poppers from Jack in the Box. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He just had gone off on jalapeno poppers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love jalapeno poppers. | |
| Poor Ralphie. | ||
| Well, Ralphie, when he had his stomach stapled, and when he had his stomach stapled, for some reason he couldn't eat meat. | ||
| Like, there's something about the operation they did. | ||
| It made him have a real issue with meat. | ||
| But he still loved to cook it. | ||
| So he used to barbecue. | ||
| We went over his house once, and he's a fucking killer cook. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's got his own barbecue sauce, baby, big baby barbecue sauce. | ||
| I went to his house, and he cooked, like, this whole thing, and he goes, Hey, check out my barbecue sauce. | ||
| Was he eating meat at the time? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He got his staples removed. | ||
| I mean, he did it himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He doesn't eat a lot. | |
| I'm just going to eat a lot of meat. | ||
| He just ate right through those staples. | ||
| Yeah, he had this idea that he was going to lose all this weight. | ||
| And it did kind of work for a couple days. | ||
| Well, the problem was he was so big that if he said he lost weight, you're like, okay, how much? | ||
| He could say he lost 100 pounds, and you'd be like, I believe you. | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
| It's like you couldn't... | ||
| But imagine like how strong his legs must have been. | ||
| Oh, the strongest feet in the business. | ||
| Like, that guy could probably kick through a fucking building. | ||
| You think about it? | ||
| Like, if he's carrying around 500 pounds, imagine if I took you and I threw 300 pounds of weights on your back. | ||
| You're just walking around with 300 pounds everywhere you go. | ||
| I wouldn't be able to do it. | ||
| Like, I lift weights all the time and I wouldn't be able to do it. | ||
| I'd be like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| He would walk everywhere. | ||
| Bust through walls, giving us Kool-Aid. | ||
| He had those calves. | ||
| You know those fat dude calves? | ||
| They developed this... | ||
| I bet if you could look at the musculature in his legs, I bet if you get through all the fat in his arms, his arms are like normal-sized arms, but I bet he had some jacked fucking Lee Haney quads. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| That's a tender meat down there. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It's weird when you see people that have those big calves, but they're always blue, like that diabetes legs. | ||
| That's rough, that diabetes blue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's super common though, right? | ||
| Yeah, there's a homeless guy by my house that just hangs out at Starbucks, and he has it so bad where it's Blistered and every time he walks a little blood squirts off and rips down his leg. | ||
| It's the grossest thing ever. | ||
| And he's homeless? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he's fat. | ||
| Yeah, he's huge and what's weird about Burbank is there was another guy that had like this big nose like it was a like he looked like it was some kind of weird cis nose where it's like the size of like a like a Pineapple and he looked like Bernie Kosar or whatever that old guy like I'm Bernie Kosar. | ||
| Who's Bernie Kosar? | ||
| He's like a hockey player or something? | ||
| Quarterback for the Browns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| What's Bernie the sports... | ||
| I'm Bernie the old sports accommodator. | ||
| Why is he the only guy? | ||
| Howard Cosell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Howard Cosell. | |
| He had like a Howard Cosell nose, like huge though. | ||
| You're like the only guy who knows less about sports than me. | ||
| I hate sports so much. | ||
| But all the people in Burbank always, like, hey, we'll fix your nose. | ||
| Like, people are so nice. | ||
| Like, I'll pay for your nose to get fixed. | ||
| And he wouldn't, uh, yeah, bigger than that. | ||
| Like, imagine that nose times a hundred. | ||
| What was the dude that was the Cubs guy? | ||
| The crazy glasses. | ||
| Hey, I'm Harry Carey! | ||
| Harry Carey! | ||
| And didn't he have, like, a lisp? | ||
| No, he just, uh, he has, like, really big glasses, and he just talked real crazy. | ||
| Will Ferrell did a great impression of him. | ||
| Like a hot dog! | ||
| Hey, I'm Harry Carey! | ||
| Yeah, you would figure, like, a homeless guy would be skinny. | ||
| That'd be, like, the ultimate diet. | ||
| No food, a lot of walking. | ||
| Well, the only food they're eating, probably, is, like, fast food, like, you know. | ||
| I mean, fast food's so fucking cheap. | ||
| The other day, Arby's has this new steak. | ||
| Uh, you should go to Venice? | ||
| I think it's, like, an elk burger or something. | ||
| I think they have elk only in a couple places, but they have venison in a bunch of places. | ||
| Yeah, venison. | ||
| I had it yesterday. | ||
| It's like having a steak on two, but it was only $5, and it was great. | ||
| Well, with venison, they do these mass executions of deer in some places where they have to eradicate these deer. | ||
| They get a little too crazy. | ||
| I would imagine that's probably where they're getting some of their meat from. | ||
| Yeah, because it's only for a limited time. | ||
| Only in limited places. | ||
| Well, you can only hunt them for so long. | ||
| Like, if it's during hunting season, you're not allowed to sell it commercially. | ||
| Like, hunting meat. | ||
| You can buy farm-raised deer. | ||
| They might have that. | ||
| But I think it's illegal. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell wild game. | ||
| To actually sell it, sell it. | ||
| I don't think you can sell the meat. | ||
| But I have some for you. | ||
| I have elk jerky for you. | ||
| I have elk salami for you. | ||
| What was that one thing you made me that one time? | ||
| Oh, that was a smoked ham. | ||
| That was wild boar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that was... | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Wild pig is the shit. | ||
| Wild pig is so... | ||
| And wild pig is very sustainable. | ||
| Those little motherfuckers, they breed like crazy. | ||
| You literally have to shoot them. | ||
| They have a big problem with them right now in San Jose. | ||
| I was just reading this thing about San Jose. | ||
| Like, San Jose is trying to figure out... | ||
| They're hiring people to set traps in people's yards because in the middle of the night these wild pigs come up and just fuck people's lawns up. | ||
| And San Jose is like tech industry, you know? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I didn't even know that was a thing up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Well, what's interesting is a lot of it came from that crazy asshole that made weed illegal, William Randolph Hearst. | ||
| William Randolph Hearst, when he built the Hearst Castle, have you ever been to the Hearst Castle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, I have. | |
| It's pretty sweet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking crazy! | |
| I never put the two together. | ||
| I was like, oh fuck, I've been there, yeah. | ||
| Is the Hearst Castle the one that has like the stairways that lead to a brick wall? | ||
| Like you open up the door and there's nothing there? | ||
| Or is that another crazy lady, I think? | ||
| I think I'm thinking of a different person. | ||
| But William Randolph Hearst. | ||
| When he had the Hearst Castle built, he released a bunch of wild boars, Eurasian boars, all over the backyard so he could just hunt them and shoot them because he was just a crazy rich asshole. | ||
| And those motherfuckers populated the entire Northern California region. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson, when he was young and he lived in Big Sur, He used to go hunt wild boars with a machine gun. | ||
| There's like a famous classic picture of Hunter S. Thompson holding a knife and an AK-47 while there's a wild boar that's hanging from its back legs and he's cutting it open and about to cook it. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Have you ever had pig's tail? | ||
| Pig's tail? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've had pig's feet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pig's feet. | |
| I hate that pig's feet. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| Yeah, I don't remember much about my real dad, but I do remember he loved pig's feet. | ||
| And I ate it when I was a little kid. | ||
| Yeah, you can buy it at the grocery store. | ||
| Yeah, pickled pig's feet. | ||
| You gotta go to a bad neighborhood, though. | ||
| No, they have my pavilions. | ||
| My girlfriend eats all that. | ||
| She gets fish eyeballs. | ||
| She eats fish eyeballs. | ||
| Oh, you're dating an Asian. | ||
| This is the Winchester Mystery House. | ||
| This is the stairs. | ||
| Oh, that's the house. | ||
| Where's that one at? | ||
| It's near San Jose. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Same kind of area. | ||
| Yeah, this house is a wacky house. | ||
| How'd you go to this house? | ||
| I was a little kid. | ||
| Well, I lived in San Francisco when I was little. | ||
| From age 7 to 11, we lived in San Francisco. | ||
| And we took a tour of the Hearst Castle when I was little. | ||
| I remember it. | ||
| And we went to this mystery house, too. | ||
| But there was, like, doorways to nowhere. | ||
| I love these old rich houses. | ||
| Like, I went to the Gamble House, you know, Procter& Gamble. | ||
| It's in Pasadena. | ||
| But that's where they filmed, like, Back to the Future. | ||
| What was that one with the fish with the seagull? | ||
| What the hell was that? | ||
| It's just somebody's blog about their trip. | ||
| Oh, someone's blog. | ||
| So what were you saying? | ||
| But these houses back then, the architecture there. | ||
| I mean, Tractor and Gamble, at the time, he was our billionaire. | ||
| So he would have... | ||
| These houses have so many unique... | ||
| That's it, right? | ||
| Is that the Hearst Castle? | ||
| No, it's the Gamble House. | ||
| The Gamble House? | ||
| Gamble House. | ||
| Yeah, and so there's all these secret rooms, and the architecture there is amazing. | ||
| That's a beautiful house. | ||
| It's Doc Brown's house. | ||
| It's Doc Brown's. | ||
| Back to the Future. | ||
| Back to the Future. | ||
| Oh, was it really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| Yeah, it's in Pasadena. | ||
| That's in Pasadena, that house is? | ||
| God, that's beautiful. | ||
| I love houses like that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Wood structure. | ||
| Look at that lawn, too. | ||
| The architecture there is so amazing. | ||
| And just walking through. | ||
| Pasadena's amazing, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Whoa, that's the inside of it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What'd you just do there? | ||
| You got a 360 tour? | ||
| Dude, this house is the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's on Google Maps now. | |
| You can look through shit on the inside. | ||
| Is this like they have tours of it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Me and my mom went to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy's a ghost. | |
| These people are ghosts. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're ghosts. | |
| They have different kinds of tours where you can go to rooms that you can only go to if you go to this certain tour. | ||
| That's fucking beautiful. | ||
| That's the same house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pasadena had this Frank Lloyd Wright house that was for sale forever. | ||
| And I think it finally sold. | ||
| And there was another one that's like another Frank Lloyd Wright house, I believe, that was for sale in Los Feliz. | ||
| And I was like, God damn, I don't want it. | ||
| That's the house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I don't want to live in Los Feliz with all the hipsters, but I might live there just to be in this house. | ||
| Look at this fucking the Mallard house. | ||
| That place is the shit. | ||
| I love Frank Lloyd Wright. | ||
| That sold, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The inside of that house was incredible. | ||
| Jamie, go to the inside where you see there was all this crazy patterns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See all the crazy patterns and the stone columns? | ||
| I mean, it was just a gorgeous house. | ||
| Like, it was literally like you're owning, whoever owns it, you're owning a piece of historical art. | ||
| Like that one right down there. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
| That's like a museum or something. | ||
| There's a house in Pennsylvania, Frank Lloyd Wright House, I think it's in Pennsylvania, where it's the same thing, where it's just waterfalls and amazing things like this. | ||
| You know what's probably the dopest house I've ever seen? | ||
| Is the Ferris Bueller's Day Off house when he drove the Ferrari out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, what house was that? | |
| That's in Seattle. | ||
| That house is in Seattle. | ||
| That looks like it right there, the Pennsylvania one with the waterfall. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Click on that one. | ||
| That's the one I'm talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| But that's Chicago. | ||
| That's in Chicago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably have to dodge bullets on the way to your house. | ||
| Yeah, the Paris Bueller house was for sale not too long ago. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember saying that. | ||
| A fuckload of money. | ||
| How much does a Ferris Bueller house cost? | ||
| Look at that house. | ||
| God damn, that's gorgeous. | ||
| That's so awesome. | ||
| Man. | ||
| No, that's Laurel Highlands, Pennsylvania. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Dude, there's nothing better than living around trees. | ||
| There's something about that image of that house with all those trees in the background and all that green. | ||
| That just makes you want to live. | ||
| You know what it reminds me of? | ||
| The crazy billionaire in Ex Machina. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| The guy who lived in some crazy wooded house in the forest? | ||
| I just re-watched that. | ||
| Such a great movie. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Ferris Bueller's Day Off House. | ||
| That house is the shit. | ||
| But people would watch you fuck. | ||
| They'd be hiding in the bushes. | ||
| Binoculars. | ||
| That guy's got a new movie coming out. | ||
| Ferris Bueller? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Matthew Broderick? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| He might too. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, the Ex Machina guy has a good movie coming out. | ||
| We watched the trailer off air, but I'm trying to remember what it was right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, let me look. | ||
| Yeah, it's some sort of a science fiction movie, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of my... | ||
| If I had a top 20 all-time favorite movies, Ex Machina is right in there. | ||
| I thought it was so well done. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| And I rewatched it. | ||
| It's perfect still. | ||
| Is he doing that book, the science fiction book? | ||
| Annihilation, yeah. | ||
| I think that's what it is. | ||
| What is it about? | ||
| Jeff Vandermeer. | ||
| Watch the new trailer for Ex Machina director. | ||
| Oh yeah, Natalie Portman's in it. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's right. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That whole world they go to and her husband died and Jonah would find her some wormholes or portals. | ||
| We'll find out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I've got to stop drinking coffee when I'm on a podcast. | ||
| Because of the phlegm thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| Even that caveman coffee. | ||
| Just coffee in general. | ||
| If I drink water, I'm fine. | ||
| If I drink coffee, I start phlegming up and I have to clear my throat. | ||
| You should do La Croix. | ||
| La Croix. | ||
| Those little bubbles will get out of that flim. | ||
| You know what I like, dude? | ||
| Zevia. | ||
| That stevia soda. | ||
| Do we have any of those back there? | ||
| The soda? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what flavor it is. | ||
| Just go grab a few of them. | ||
| Those things are delicious. | ||
| Bring those motherfuckers back. | ||
| Where do you find them, though? | ||
| I can't find them anywhere. | ||
| Amazon. | ||
| Amazon? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They're in some grocery stores, but the soda aisle is so big and taken over by the big ones, there's like one six-pack in every grocery store, if you get lucky. | ||
| I'm so burnt out on Lacroix. | ||
|
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|
Lacroix? | |
| How do you say it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lacroix. | |
| Lacroix. | ||
| They have Zevia water. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| So, Stevia is still fine, right? | ||
|
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|
Oh, yeah. | |
| There's nothing bad with Stevia. | ||
| I always hear, like, you know, what was the other one? | ||
| Aspartame. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
|
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|
Aspartame, the other, the coconut one. | |
| Xylitol. | ||
| Yeah, what was the coconut one? | ||
| Fuck, what was that one? | ||
| Anyways. | ||
| Most of them, like, monk fruit is supposed to be really good. | ||
| Most of that stuff, like, the chemical stuff is dangerous, but stevia, I think, I'm pretty sure, we should have Jamie check. | ||
| As soon as Jamie comes back, I don't want to tell anybody, yeah, bro, eat all of stevia you want. | ||
| Do you remember that crazy guy that was snorting stevia? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was his name Dan Quinn? | ||
| Yeah, is that guy still alive? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Man, that guy was crazy. | ||
| That was the weightlifter guy. | ||
| He was a fighter. | ||
| MMA guy. | ||
| Yeah, he had some awesome videos of him snorting stevia, talking about stevia burns off calories and gives you muscles. | ||
| Root beer. | ||
| Yeah, we got root beer, cream soda. | ||
| This is zero calories and it's sweetened with stevia and it's like LaCroix that tastes better. | ||
| Grapefruit citrus. | ||
| People are gonna think this is some really fucking low-level, sketchy commercial. | ||
| Man, if I wasn't wearing my MeUndies right now, I would... | ||
| Well, if you just go to Stamps.com today. | ||
| Oh my god, that tastes like root beer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| Oh, I need this. | ||
| Okay, here's the question. | ||
| Is there anything wrong with Stevia? | ||
| We need to find out. | ||
| I feel like there was something recently that's... | ||
| Google, does Stevia kill you? | ||
| My dad's still on the thing where if it's any kind of artificial sweetener, your brain thinks it's real, so it releases chemicals unnecessarily that doesn't have anywhere to go. | ||
| So he says it's still bad for any artificial sweeteners. | ||
| Right, but this isn't an artificial sweetener. | ||
| It isn't. | ||
| No, stevia is made with a plant. | ||
| That's why it has the little green leaf. | ||
| That's what stevia looks like. | ||
| But isn't it your brain think, like, hey, this is sugar, though. | ||
| It tastes like sugar. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe your brain does. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe my brain's smart enough to know. | ||
| My brain's like, yo, bro. | ||
| This is fake, bro. | ||
| This is fake sugar, bro. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| I had a real Coke the other day by accident. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, I went to a drive-thru. | ||
| It was late at night, and I was fucking starving. | ||
| And I'd worked all day, and I worked out, and I was just like, I just need to get a fucking Burger King. | ||
| Or not Burger King, Wendy's. | ||
| Went and got a Baconator. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I asked for a Diet Coke, and they hooked me up with a regular Coke. | ||
| They always do that shit. | ||
| It pisses me off, but it's still good. | ||
|
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|
It was delicious. | |
| It was so good. | ||
| I haven't had a regular Coke in years. | ||
| I treat myself once in a while, get a little Mexican Coke. | ||
| I went to In-N-Out the other day. | ||
| I am not on board with In-N-Out. | ||
| I'm not going to get shit on this, but... | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
| In-N-Out, it's so... | ||
| Cigarettes killed your fucking taste buds. | ||
| But you go to Wendy's, it's so much better. | ||
| What? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| If you have a burger from In-N-Out and a burger from Wendy's, Wendy's tastes a million times better. | ||
| You are. | ||
| You definitely are fucked up. | ||
| I would love to have a taste test. | ||
| There's a show called Good Mythical... | ||
| Can you believe what he's saying? | ||
| I don't even know what you're saying. | ||
| There's a show called... | ||
| You really think that Wendy's is better than In-N-Out? | ||
| A million times better than In-N-Out. | ||
| That's a million. | ||
| A million. | ||
| I can't trust you with anything from now on. | ||
| You're from California, though, so you grew up on In-N-Out. | ||
| But most of your life is spent here in California. | ||
| Don't use the Columbus bias on Wendy's, though, because it's from where we're from. | ||
| It doesn't mean it's better. | ||
| You're from California. | ||
| You're all In-N-Out. | ||
| I would love to take Five Guys, all the burger places that we know of, and have a blind taste test, and you tell me which one is the best. | ||
| And I bet you In-N-Out would be nowhere close to the best. | ||
| Five Guys with bacon and jalapeno would buttfuck all the rest of them. | ||
| I just said it. | ||
| Five Guys is good. | ||
| I don't like the fries as much as I am. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| See, you got a problem with your face. | ||
| Fatburger's really way up there. | ||
| Fatburger? | ||
| There's not many of them to compare. | ||
| Way up there taste-wise? | ||
| It's really, really, really good. | ||
| There's one like a mile away from here. | ||
| No, I know, but I mean, there's just not tons of them all around the world and country. | ||
| They're pretty good. | ||
| They're all right. | ||
| They're pretty good. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| But I think they give you frozen meat. | ||
| I think it's frozen meat that they recook. | ||
| But I don't think that's that big of a deal. | ||
| I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| That whole frozen versus fresh argument, I think the real thing is when you cook it. | ||
| You gotta cook it right there and then. | ||
| The problem with a lot of these fast food places is they have that fucking thing cooked way in advance. | ||
| They just nuke them and then hand them to your microwave. | ||
| Burger King says flame broiled, but you know what they do? | ||
| They flame roll it, then they put it in a pan with all this beef juice, and they just let it sit in this pan, kind of like a caterer. | ||
| Like when you go to catering, where they just pull it out. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| The grossest burger you will ever have in your life is Carl's Jr. grass-fed Burger Team. | ||
| Taste it sometime. | ||
| You'll throw it out your window. | ||
| It made me sick how disgusting it is. | ||
| Carl's Jr. right now is establishing lawsuits calling lawyers. | ||
| I know a lot of people are big fans of Whataburger when we talk about In-N-Out, where they have it. | ||
| I think Texas is a big place for Whataburger. | ||
| Yeah, because they're all Texas-ed out. | ||
| They got a fucking big belt buckle and cow horns on their front Cadillac. | ||
| Whataburger's delicious. | ||
| They're out of their fucking mind. | ||
| I buy the spicy ketchup from Amazon. | ||
| That's the best ketchup you'll ever have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this? | |
| You buy Whataburger ketchup? | ||
| Whataburger, spicy ketchup, Amazon. | ||
| I'll buy you. | ||
| It's fucking delicious. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| This is the best ketchup in the world. | ||
| Whataburger's good. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I wouldn't say no if I was hungry, but it cannot fuck with Five Guys or In-N-Out. | ||
| Here's the stevia. | ||
| Let's do a taste test soon. | ||
| Okay, what's wrong with stevia? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Stevia is short for stevia rebaudiana, a plant from... | ||
| The chrysanthemum family, which grows in parts of Brazil and Paraguay. | ||
| The compound that makes the stevia sugar is extracted from the leaves. | ||
| It's used in the UA, East Asia, Russia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and is about 200 to 300 times sweeter than sugar. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| When did the FDA approve it? | ||
| In the 1990s, the FDA rejected stevia as a food ingredient after research linked it to reproductive problems and possible genetic mutations in rats! | ||
| Well, I'm not a rat, so. | ||
| In 2008, the FDA approved a specific formula of pure stevia ribodiosida. | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| Ribodioside A. Ribodioside A, pure via, and true via. | ||
| Both contain the RebA version of stevia, which is FDA approved. | ||
| The FDA recommended daily dose is no more than 1.3 mg per kg of body weight for healthy adults. | ||
| You'd have to have at least 29 Truvia packets a day to exceed that. | ||
| What do the experts say? | ||
| If your stevia isn't made from Reb A, like, for example, the whole leaf extract that's sold at natural food markets and labeled as a dietary supplement, hasn't been vetted for safety by the FDA. | ||
| For Truvia and Purevia, the FDA concluded with reasonable certainty that Reb A is not harmful under its intended conditions of use. | ||
| Based on studies it looked at concerning reproductive blood pressure and toxicity effects. | ||
| Although scientific studies in the 1960s and 1980s found that stevia-derived products decreased fertility and female risk. | ||
| God, feed it to chicks. | ||
| Shoot them full of loads. | ||
| And potentially led to mutations. | ||
| The FDA concluded that those problems didn't apply to Reb A based on additional research. | ||
| That's already paid off. | ||
| The problem with this fucking... | ||
| I don't trust any studies from back in the day anymore after that sugar study got exposed where you found out from the New York Times did this whole expose on how the sugar industry bribed all these scientists to say that sugar's not bad for you. | ||
| It's this saturated fat. | ||
| And they pushed all the blame on heart attacks and heart disease on the saturated fat. | ||
| It's just hilarious. | ||
| So this Zevia, I can't tell. | ||
| What they're pretty much saying is like the whole foods, the pure extracted stevia plants are not good for you. | ||
| Or they're saying it's not FDA. I think they say it hasn't been vetted. | ||
| That's the stuff that we put in coffee. | ||
| That was also a four-year-old article. | ||
| I was like motherjones.com, which seemed like a good place. | ||
| Mother Jones is a good place if you have stinky feet and you're like wearing Birkenstocks. | ||
| And you have wooden beads. | ||
| Mother Jones is a good magazine, but they're a super left-wing hippie. | ||
| I don't know if they're right, though. | ||
| They might be right. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, I was just looking for some FDA results on that. | ||
| I mean, there's no biological free rides. | ||
| If you talk to doctors, they say, look, there's something probably going on. | ||
| I used to think that Advil was fine. | ||
| I just think that Advil, there's no problem with Advil until Dr. Rhonda Patrick explained to me about strokes and fucking heart attacks and all kinds of crazy shit that you can get from consuming Advil. | ||
| Wasn't Advil the thing that you're supposed to take, though, if you're having a heart attack? | ||
| No, that's aspirin. | ||
| Aspirin supposedly prevents heart attacks, but I wonder why. | ||
| Like, do you think it's, is it something in the, it's because aspirin, if I remember correctly, you should probably Google this, I think it comes from the bark of a tree. | ||
| I think actual aspirin is an extraction, like a plant extraction, and somehow or another aspirin Because it does reduce inflammation. | ||
| It's supposed to be good for people that have heart problems. | ||
| Aspirin blocks an enzyme called cyclooxygenase that makes your body less likely to produce chemicals that can cause inflammation. | ||
| It helps prevent blood clots. | ||
| That's important because they clog the arteries and bring blood to the heart, muscles, and the brain, which increases your risk of heart attack and stroke. | ||
| So, aspirin blocks that enzyme and makes you less likely to have heart attacks and stroke. | ||
| That's pretty badass. | ||
| But what is aspirin from? | ||
| Where does aspirin come from? | ||
| Is aspirin safe to take as a vitamin every day? | ||
| I think they actually encourage you to take aspirin. | ||
| But what else can be done that could probably mimic the effects? | ||
| When you talk to people that really understand health ailments, one of the big things they all seem to bring up is inflammation. | ||
| Inflammation is one of the number one sources of malaise. | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| Malaise? | ||
| Disease, massive health issues that people have. | ||
| Inflammation. | ||
| Inflammation, they think, is a huge factor in cancer, a huge factor in heart attacks, strokes, everything. | ||
| Inflammation is just fucking bad. | ||
| Anytime you're eating inflammatory foods, That's the big problem with sugar. | ||
| That's the big problem with refined carbohydrates is that they produce inflammation in people. | ||
| A lot of people that have joint problems and shit, they go on a low-carbohydrate diet and all their joint problems go away. | ||
| If you have pain in your ankles and shit, a lot of people have found that just changing your diet makes that go away because a lot of that inflammation is just your body just not responding very well to your diet. | ||
| But that's different people. | ||
| So what does it say? | ||
| I don't see anything about it being from a tree. | ||
| Oh, I made it up. | ||
| It seems like it's... | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| I've heard that before. | ||
| No, there's something that sounds familiar, but I don't know if it was aspirin or not. | ||
| Well, what does it say it comes from? | ||
| I think it's just a chemical compound. | ||
| I think... | ||
| Acetylic acid. | ||
| But I think it's... | ||
| Is aspirin extracted from a plant? | ||
| Google that. | ||
| Because I think aspirin was around way before they figured out how to make, like, pharmaceutical drugs. | ||
| I think that shit's been around forever. | ||
| There was a dude, there was a friend of mine who was a really funny comedian. | ||
| Who would, uh... | ||
| Willow bark. | ||
| Willow bark, see? | ||
| How to make aspirin from a willow tree. | ||
|
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|
Bitch. | |
| Yeah, the bark of a white willow tree contains the salicin, which is the chemical known as the acetylic or whatever. | ||
| That sounds like witchcraft. | ||
| Doesn't it sound like witchcraft? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
|
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|
The bark of a willow tree in the middle of the night on the socialist. | |
| You bring it to me and I will conjure it up. | ||
| I will put it in a cauldron. | ||
| Is a willow tree the same as a weeping willow? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Huh. | ||
|
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|
Weeping willow. | |
| Willow is the one that's like sags. | ||
| Yeah, and it has like those fuzzy things on it maybe? | ||
| I feel like I had a willow tree coming up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a pretty tree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| It's a nice tree. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| What's that one? | ||
| It's frosted in one. | ||
| How to make aspirin from a willow tree. | ||
| Let's find out how to do it. | ||
| What do you got to do? | ||
| Let's make our own aspirin. | ||
| Let's make toothpicks out of a willow tree that prevent heart attacks. | ||
|
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|
Dude! | |
| Now you're talking. | ||
| I wonder if that's real. | ||
| I wonder if you could do that. | ||
| Probably, huh? | ||
| Why not, right? | ||
| Always sucking on a toothpick instead of smoking a cigarette? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Yes! | ||
| So that's what you want to do, right? | ||
| You want to quit smoking. | ||
| Yeah, quit smoking is my number one thing. | ||
| Lose weight is my number two thing. | ||
| What's number three? | ||
| Grow your dick? | ||
| Get rid of the damn rat at my house. | ||
| I feel like I'm diseased right now. | ||
| We played the video a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Of what? | ||
| Of your rat. | ||
| Screaming? | ||
| Of your rat. | ||
| Did we play the video? | ||
| I couldn't find the screaming one. | ||
| I found the link later and we moved on. | ||
| The screaming came there somewhere. | ||
| Brian caught a rat in a trap and set up cameras. | ||
| I didn't tell you what happened, the second part of what happened. | ||
| So there's two rats. | ||
| We killed one. | ||
| The second one with the video with the screaming one escaped. | ||
| For a week, we didn't see it. | ||
| All my cameras, I have like all these night vision cameras. | ||
| I'm like, well, it must have ran away. | ||
| So I took all my traps, put them underneath the sink. | ||
| One of my traps was an electric one where they walk in and they get electrocuted. | ||
| So I put that underneath the sink. | ||
| Anyways, cut to three months later, it smelled like death in my kitchen. | ||
| You've smelled death before and you're like, oh, what the fuck is that? | ||
| Sure enough, I open it up and I see this flashing red light. | ||
| The rat had gone into the electricity thing, electrocuted himself, and had been there for three months. | ||
| So he went in there after? | ||
| After. | ||
| He must have been injured underneath my sink. | ||
| He must have been injured. | ||
| He's the same rat? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I had so many cameras that I could tell there was one bigger, the pregnant one that we killed first. | ||
| Then there was the father or the husband. | ||
| It was two different sizes. | ||
| One was the crazy big, one was smaller. | ||
| So I look and I see this rat tail coming out and it smelled like death right when I opened up the thing. | ||
| Luckily I'm dating an Asian who eats fish eyeballs. | ||
| So I was like, get that out of here! | ||
| You made her do it? | ||
| No, she doesn't care. | ||
| She has no emotion about death. | ||
|
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|
Take her fishing! | |
| I know. | ||
| So she takes it out and she puts it in the trash can. | ||
| I just told her to throw the whole thing away. | ||
| We're not going to reuse that electricity thing. | ||
| And it fell out into the trash can and it busts open and all these maggots just come out. | ||
| Hundreds of maggots. | ||
| It burst open. | ||
| The skin just couldn't take it anymore. | ||
| Did you take pictures? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think she did. | ||
| I think she did. | ||
| I was freaking out. | ||
| You should definitely take pictures of that. | ||
| But now the rat's back. | ||
| A new rat. | ||
| Well, it's not. | ||
| I guarantee you, you probably had a ton of rats living in your house. | ||
| Well, what it is, we got the exterminator out, and we have one of those crawl spaces underneath my house. | ||
| And the whole house has been, you know, gridded up so there's no rats can get inside. | ||
| So how they were getting in was confusing everyone. | ||
| Found our stupid-ass neighbor. | ||
| He's like, oh yeah, a rat... | ||
| Chewed through my screen in the back of my house a couple months ago, and he has a cat. | ||
| So they've been coming in his house, going in his kitchen, going underneath the house, going out into my house. | ||
| So it's just because he didn't tell us that he has a big hole in his back fucking screen. | ||
| Yeah, but his back screen, the rats are coming out of his house? | ||
| It's coming in his house through this hole, and then they go in his kitchen, and they can go underneath the house by going under the pipes in his kitchen. | ||
| I guarantee you there's rats everywhere. | ||
| Like, you can't blame this guy. | ||
| You live in an area, there's backyards. | ||
| There's horses everywhere. | ||
| Oh, dude, rats are everywhere. | ||
| You know where there's a fuckload of rats? | ||
| It's a goddamn comedy store. | ||
| Yeah, I saw three last night. | ||
| Every time I go to that back smoking area, I look for rats. | ||
| And you'll see them scurrying across the top. | ||
| I took videos of them. | ||
| We were all hanging out in the back in the parking lot area where it says Mitzi's spot only. | ||
| There's fucking rats all over the place over there. | ||
| I hate rats, man. | ||
| Do you have rats? | ||
| You don't have rats at your house. | ||
| You have other crazy shit, right? | ||
| We have rats. | ||
| There's definitely rats. | ||
| Yeah, we used to have tarantulas. | ||
| I caught a big tarantula the other day. | ||
| Put that on my Instagram. | ||
| I've never seen a tarantula just walking around. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big fucker in my house. | ||
| In your house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I put my sneaker next to it so people can see how big it is. | ||
| He was big. | ||
| I just can't take it. | ||
| But tarantulas are pretty mellow, man. | ||
| Like, you scoop them up. | ||
| I put it in a box. | ||
| I scooped them up in a shoe box, put them outside. | ||
| Yeah, they don't bite or anything. | ||
| Yeah, look at them. | ||
| Oh my god, though. | ||
| If I saw that coming out of my shoe, are you freaked out to put your shoes on? | ||
| He didn't come out of my shoe. | ||
| I put the shoe down next to him. | ||
| I know, but are you scared that any time you put your shoe on, there might be a tarantula in it? | ||
| Tarantulas don't scare me. | ||
| Black Widows were much smaller than that, and I see them all the time, and they will fuck you up. | ||
| Black Widows are what's really scary. | ||
| Yeah, I have a lot at my house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a fucking big bug, right? | ||
| Would you ever eat that? | ||
| Yeah, they taste good, apparently. | ||
| They taste like crabs. | ||
| Well, they're in the crab family. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I watched a television show where these people were living in the Amazon, I believe, and they were cooking. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| Amazon natives cooking giant spiders. | ||
| I mean, and they had them. | ||
| You ever see how they do... | ||
| You need to look it up. | ||
| Listen, I hosted Fear Factor. | ||
| I could watch anything. | ||
| I could literally watch people eat dicks. | ||
| I have. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You ever seen those things that they make, it's almost like a screen, and they put a fish down, and then they put the other screen on top of it? | ||
| And they bury it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Like, you cook it over a fire. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Not a screen, it's like a bunch of sticks and the fish is in between the sticks. | ||
| It basically just holds the fish in place while they cook it over the fire. | ||
| They did the same thing with these giant fucking tarantulas. | ||
| They cut them open, split them up and laid them down on this fire and just put the tarantulas out there to cook just like they would cook a crab or a piece of fish or something like that. | ||
| It looked good. | ||
| I bet they taste good. | ||
| They're really bugs. | ||
| They call lobsters bugs. | ||
| Those divers, they call them bugs. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, they're going to kill it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| Here, they get these fuckers. | ||
| Is it pop in your mouth? | ||
| Oh, they get really itchy because the hairs off of those bugs, they're not bugs, really. | ||
| They're arachnids. | ||
| But the hair's off the spiders. | ||
| So they take it. | ||
| These are like little kids, man. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They cook them over the fire. | ||
| But the thing is, man, I think they taste good. | ||
| Somebody told me they ate them before. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It might have been Les. | ||
| I think Les Stroud told me they ate them. | ||
| That he ate them. | ||
| My girlfriend would eat that right away. | ||
| No problem, right? | ||
| No problem. | ||
| With chopsticks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| She put some of that duck sauce on it. | ||
| Look at these kids. | ||
| Mine's ready. | ||
| But it looks like crab. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, they're all excited. | |
| Human planet, BBC. That's cool. | ||
| But why are we afraid of tarantulas, but we're not afraid of crab? | ||
| Like, you know, no one has a problem cooking like, you ever see like Alaskan king crab alive? | ||
| Their fucking legs are like this long. | ||
| They'll come in your house. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You don't have to put a sneaker next to it. | ||
| I think it's hair. | ||
| I think it's a hair thing. | ||
| That's another good point. | ||
| But roaches don't have hair, and roaches freak you out. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a shell thing. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Like, if roaches were yellow, no, that would have to be worse. | ||
| Well, listen, I ate a roach. | ||
| I ate a roach on Fear Factor. | ||
| They taste like nothing. | ||
| It's like nothing. | ||
| They squirt in your mouth. | ||
| That's kind of gross. | ||
| I gagged a little bit when it squirted when I bit into it because it was so juicy. | ||
| But the actual taste itself was very bland. | ||
| What about those pill bugs or those garden bugs that you guys used to have on Fear Factor? | ||
| Those big green caterpillars that would just pop in your mouth? | ||
| Oh, I ate one of those. | ||
| Tomato horn worm. | ||
| I ate one of those. | ||
| That wasn't so good. | ||
| What'd that taste like? | ||
| Not that strong, still. | ||
| But very mushy. | ||
| Like, if I was really hungry, I'd eat the shit out of a plate of those roaches. | ||
| Roaches? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I was in Mexico last year. | ||
| And we were in Cancun? | ||
| No. | ||
| Cabo. | ||
| Yeah, tomato hornworms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fear factor. | |
| Here's me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I squirted out. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Just chewing up a goddamn storm. | ||
| Man, this is when fear factor was awesome. | ||
| Here's the thing is, man, if I met this dude right now today, I'd go home. | ||
| I love this show. | ||
| If I saw that dude today, I'd be like, nice to meet you. | ||
| I don't remember meeting him. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| My memory's such dog shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| My memory's pretty good for normal stuff, but I think I've seen too much. | ||
| Oh, these people. | ||
| I don't know who these people are. | ||
| This is when- But I obviously met them. | ||
| That dude is going to town, though. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| This is when Fear Factor was amazing. | ||
| Yeah, ludicrous, man. | ||
| Call me. | ||
| I'll give you some tips. | ||
| Did we talk about this? | ||
| One of the stunts is like, oh no, you're going to get your cell phone wet. | ||
| I don't want to get my cell phone wet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that real? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're on a budget. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Luda might have ate up that budget. | ||
| Just on that Fast and the Furious gig, Money, you know, he's stuck in that world with Tyrese and The Rock and all those guys in their franchise. | ||
| Did we talk about Tyrese and The Rock feuding? | ||
| Oh my god, did we talk about it yesterday? | ||
| Yeah, we mentioned it off-air, but we didn't talk about it. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I was on YouTube looking at something else. | ||
| I was looking at some automobile thing, and I saw The Rock, and then I saw The Rock dissing Tyrese. | ||
| And I was like, this is real? | ||
| And I went to it, no, it's real. | ||
| They apparently, Tyrese talked a bunch of shit about The Rock. | ||
| And The Rock did a review of Tyrese's album. | ||
| But they're also in a movie right now together. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| He doesn't like that. | ||
| Yeah, the thing's coming out because The Rock made a deal to make a spin-off sequel to the Fast and the Furious franchise that's not involving anyone that's in the Fast and the Furious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for him. | |
| And they're mad. | ||
| Tyrese is like, you're splitting up the family. | ||
| Which means nobody wants to go see a goddamn Tyrese movie. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm on Team Rock. | ||
| Whatever he wants. | ||
| I love The Rock. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| He's the sweetheart of a guy if you meet him in person, too. | ||
| Oh, you got to meet him? | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| Tate did a movie with him, Jumanji. | ||
| He's a fucking great guy, like a legitimately great guy. | ||
| And he inspires the shit out of me. | ||
| You know, a lot of people think that that meathead stuff, like in the gym, like, push harder, get it done, you know, all work, all play, all day, you know, like all that crazy stuff. | ||
| I find him inspirational. | ||
| I don't care if it's simpleton stuff. | ||
| I think he's great. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Yeah, what do you got? | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| Hardest workers in the room. | ||
| It's how we do it. | ||
| The number one question that I'm asked everywhere I go around the world is always, how is it that I stay so motivated? | ||
| What are the motivating factors in my life that keep me in this psychological space? | ||
| Number one will be gratitude. | ||
| I try and find a way to be grateful for every single thing I have every single day. | ||
| Wins, losses, loved ones, you name it. | ||
| My life wasn't always this way. | ||
| It was much different many moons ago. | ||
| So these days I'm grateful to the bone for everything. | ||
| The other thing is hunger. | ||
| You always hear people say, well, it's about being number one, about being at the top. | ||
| Or how about this? | ||
| You're always going to find somebody out there who's going to work harder. | ||
| Well, I don't know that. | ||
| That might be bullshit. | ||
| But I know no one is going to be hungrier than I am. | ||
| And I try and find a way to be grateful. | ||
| So I hope that helps. | ||
| It's 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| If you're watching this, you better be doing something productive and not freaky shit. | ||
| Well, you could go do some freaky shit. | ||
| Need a little editing, but I like the point. | ||
| It's inspirational, but all that saying about gratitude, that's real. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| And who fucking works harder than that guy? | ||
| He's always on a new TV show, he's got ten movies, juggling at the same time, probably sleeps two hours a night. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| I could do without all these pictures of people hopping in private jets, though. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You're rich. | ||
| The private jet thing to me is just... | ||
| That's a weird form of selfie, you know? | ||
| Like, the private gym photos I get, but the private jet photos... | ||
| Who's the guy that faked the private jet? | ||
| Oh, Little Bow Wow! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Little Bow Wow? | |
| What are you doing, Little Bow Wow? | ||
| Little Bow Wow, that's a meme now, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like people pretending to Little Bow Wow things? | ||
| What's funny is, nowadays... | ||
| That's so funny that someone on the plane busted him! | ||
| I know. | ||
| And it's crazy, because you could get a private jet pretty easily. | ||
| Now, there's an app, whatever that app is, where you can rent, like, if you're going to San Francisco, if you're with four people, you can get, like, $200 plane tickets on a private jet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| You can rent out private jets through an app now. | ||
| I think it's still pretty fucking expensive. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I think it's called JetSmart? | ||
| JetSet. | ||
| The one here, you can only just go to, like, San Francisco, Vegas, and maybe, like, Oakland. | ||
| But it's cheap. | ||
| But it's cheap? | ||
| It's super cheap. | ||
| $200, $250? | ||
| $250 to go to Vegas? | ||
| Yeah, on a private jet. | ||
| And if you could rent out the whole jet just to your friends. | ||
| You gotta reserve it in time and make sure there's only so many seats. | ||
| After the Vegas massacre, tickets were like $70 to get to Vegas. | ||
| Like, how does that work? | ||
| Does the airline just decide no one's going to Vegas, we need to make it cheap and easy? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or do they go in cahoots with the casinos? | ||
| Might just happen fast, I don't know. | ||
| I wonder if they're in cahoots with the casinos, because here's one thing that I noticed. | ||
| You can't get a late night flight out of Vegas. | ||
| They're like, no, stay. | ||
| You want to go home? | ||
| Well, I think that's because of noise order. | ||
| Same with Burbank. | ||
| You can't fly out or LAX. Vegas noisy. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| What time do they stop? | ||
| Around 10? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| You can leave LA at 1 in the morning, right? | ||
| You can leave LA any time of the night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Would you feel weird staying at Mandalay Bay? | ||
| Because, I mean, we used to stay at Mandalay Bay all the time. | ||
| Dude, we stayed there all the time. | ||
| And I think I stayed in that room. | ||
| I'm almost positive I stayed in that room. | ||
| Probably have. | ||
| Because that was a corner suite. | ||
| It was a dope suite. | ||
| I think the Fertittas put me up in that room way back in the Dizze. | ||
| I'm almost positive. | ||
| I looked at that room. | ||
| I'm like, God, that seems like super familiar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'd stay there. | ||
| I mean, fuck. | ||
| It's one guy, one crazy guy. | ||
| Now he's dead. | ||
| But if you go online and read all the fucking rumors and all the theories, Jamie's one of them. | ||
| I was looking at facts. | ||
| I'm not going into conspiracy stuff. | ||
| Jamie's kind of a truther. | ||
| He's a Vegas truther. | ||
| There's reporters looking into it. | ||
| I don't need to do that job for them. | ||
| They're looking into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, what do you think? | |
| What do you think? | ||
| There's a second gunman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Third? | |
| Fourth? | ||
| Fourth? | ||
| The team. | ||
| Do you really think that? | ||
| I'll just say this much of it. | ||
| While it was happening, I was listening to police scanner audio, and I was just following along the story. | ||
| The story changed, and I had questions on why it changed. | ||
| Seems super normal, sitting around listening to police scanner audio. | ||
| Oh, you mean multiple shooters from multiple hotels? | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| That's because he was shooting towards multiple hotels and then shooting straight towards the... | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| But no, there was some reports of people shooting people in New York, New York. | ||
| But here's the thing that you have to take into consideration. | ||
| Whenever there's a mass shooting like that, there's chaos. | ||
| And whenever there's chaos, you're going to get all sorts of bad information. | ||
| People just, like, they see things that's not there. | ||
| No one knew where the shooters were coming from. | ||
| People thought there were shooters in the crowd. | ||
| I have friends that were actually there at the thing that dodged bullets. | ||
| One of the girls who works for the USC... She was one of the ring car girls. | ||
| She was actually there and she said as she was running away people were dropping right next to her. | ||
| Like she's trying to run and people got shot like literally like a movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| People dropping and falling down right next to her. | ||
| One of her friends blew out her ACL because a guy got fucking shot in the head and fell and landed on her sideways and blew her knee out. | ||
| Dan Blitzerian said that woman next to him, her head blew up. | ||
| Yeah, he was running away making a video. | ||
| I just saw a girl get shot in the fucking head. | ||
| He was right there at the concert. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I mean, that guy planned that shit for a long time. | ||
| I mean, I don't like to read too much into it, but... | ||
| That whole family's fucking crazy. | ||
| The father was a serial bank robber who used to do all sorts of charity work so that people think he was a nice guy. | ||
| And then he'd do this charity work and, you know, hey, it's just me, just nice Mr. Fred. | ||
| And then Mr. Fred would go rob a fucking shitload of banks. | ||
| Yeah, and he had mental health issues too. | ||
| He was pretty fucked up. | ||
| The father was a nut. | ||
| He was a real sociopath. | ||
| And then the brother, the brother did like this rambling 30 plus minute interview where they were talking to him after the murders and all he just kept talking about is what a great guy his brother was and his brother was so smart and you know he was the type of guy that if he wanted to he'd just fly to Japan and have sushi. | ||
| Yeah, or kill 50 fucking people like it's nothing. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Your brother's a fucking serial killer. | ||
| Your brother's a mass murderer. | ||
| You shouldn't be talking about what an eccentric character. | ||
| He wasn't like us. | ||
| He would win, win, win at the casinos, and they copped him everywhere. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| His brother talking is like a guy who's crazy, who's trying to not seem crazy. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| It's like a guy who's trying to pretend like, hey, I think just like you guys do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I'm perplexed. | |
| That fucking apple does not fall far from the tree. | ||
| When you got a dad that's a psycho like that and he's raising kids, there's a high probability that all those kids are fucking psychos too. | ||
| This guy didn't do anything until he did this. | ||
| That's another thing that's fucked up. | ||
| It's not like this guy had this history of violence. | ||
| He had planned this out and apparently gone to several music festivals and taken hotel rooms overlooking the arena. | ||
| Probably plotting it out in his head. | ||
| When they found a note, people were like, what did the note say? | ||
| The note was ballistic calculations. | ||
| He was doing ballistic calculations, like drop of bullets. | ||
| If you're shooting someone and you're at a certain distance, some hunters have a sheet of paper that they put on their rifle sight. | ||
| And the rifle sight will say, like, at this, you know, hold here, you know, at 500 yards, turn to 7 or 6 or whatever they've calibrated it at. | ||
| So this guy had those calculations written down on a piece of paper while he was gunning people down out the window. | ||
| Straight up psycho. | ||
| It's just hard to believe that that's a real person. | ||
| And if you believe people that are, you know, quote-unquote experts in these sort of mass killings and these psychological outbursts, they think that they come in clusters. | ||
| That, like, this happens and then someone decides that I want to be the next guy and then they do it somewhere else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So think about that. | |
| Or not? | ||
| The JFK stuff didn't come out yet, right? | ||
| That's supposed to come out. | ||
| Clinton. | ||
| Trump is, I guess, supporting it. | ||
| He's going to release it all. | ||
| Of course, they're trying to kill him. | ||
| Do you think they're trying to kill Trump? | ||
| Do you think it's going to show anything? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think someone's trying to kill Trump, though. | ||
| Do you think? | ||
| Have you had a guess? | ||
| I mean, isn't anyone ever... | ||
| every president's probably always being threatened, so... | ||
| Right, but not just threatened. | ||
| Like, do you think there's ever been a, like, a meeting where they got behind closed doors, like some shadow government type shit, and they said, um... | ||
| Do we do this? | ||
| How do you want to do this? | ||
| You want to do this? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| We're going to do this? | ||
| This guy's talking about the... | ||
| There was like a recent thing where he was blaming the FBI for something about Russia, saying the FBI was involved in suppressing information. | ||
| And everybody's like, do you understand that the President of the United States is questioning the integrity of the intelligence community? | ||
| Like how crazy that is? | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't trust them or whatever. | ||
| He doesn't trust the three letter. | ||
| He loves to do that though. | ||
| He loves to make everyone else seem untrustworthy. | ||
| I mean that is his thing. | ||
| Like his thing is about fake news, the failing New York Times, fake news CNN. Did fake news that like word exist two years ago? | ||
| And it's now like it's the it's I don't you can't go a day without fucking hearing. | ||
| I do not remember the term fake news. | ||
| No. | ||
| I remember right before Trump became president, I remember talking to my mom about how horrible everything was. | ||
| And I remember going, the biggest problem I have is with this fake news. | ||
| And that was before fake news was talked about on TV. But I was talking about fake news on Facebook. | ||
| I was saying, like, my sister keeps on posting this bullshit. | ||
| It's fake stuff that she's posting, and I was getting mad at my sister. | ||
| It's like fake news. | ||
| And I remember my mom goes, there is a lot of fake news. | ||
| And then literally, like, two months later, everyone's talking fake news. | ||
| But that fake news was kind of obvious, though. | ||
| That was like when they said that I killed a mountain lion outside the ice house with my belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha! | |
| You know, that was like fake news. | ||
| There was another one. | ||
| Someone said that I disarmed somebody at the comedy store. | ||
| A buddy of mine who's a cop actually sent me a text saying, hey, way to go. | ||
| That's a tough situation to be in. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| He's like, you disarmed somebody at the comedy store. | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| I'm not disarming nobody, man. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| I guess thinking that through, what happened next, I would guess, or I would say is that people started manipulating those websites to not be parody or satire even, but they would make it look like a local news channel in some part of Pennsylvania or West Virginia and then make... | ||
| Really salacious clickbait story, but have a bunch of Google ads on there. | ||
| I've seen those. | ||
| Those got weaponized, apparently, a little bit. | ||
| Weaponized. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weaponized. | |
| That's the word I would use, because they were being turned into bots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's what spread the quote-unquote fake news of today. | ||
| It's being spread all over. | ||
| Well, I was reading a story, I think it was on Dig, about a Russian troll farm. | ||
| Like, that they have these businesses. | ||
| Like, these troll farms, they're businesses. | ||
| It's like, do you work at T-Mobile? | ||
| No, I work at the troll farm. | ||
| What a fun job that would be. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| Well, you were one of the original trolls, dude. | ||
| Pepsi Spice! | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| We brought that up many times. | ||
| Russian troll farm that weaponized Facebook had American boots on the ground. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That article makes me annoyed, Maya. | ||
| You're annoying me. | ||
| Weaponized? | ||
| That's all annoying me. | ||
| Why is that term? | ||
| That's such a loaded term. | ||
| Weaponized? | ||
| Go to it. | ||
| Let's understand what she said. | ||
| Twitter CEO shares tweets. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Is that Jack? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I'm trying to get Jack in here. | ||
| That'd be awesome. | ||
| We've had conversations. | ||
| Twitter CEO shared tweets from Russian Troll Farm, account claiming to be a black woman. | ||
|
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|
LAUGHTER Oh, that's so good. | |
| Oh, that's so good. | ||
| Rihanna collects her humanitarian award from Harvard. | ||
| She kicked off Women's History Month with a bang. | ||
| Reads one of the tweets Dorsey shared from Crystal One Johnson in March 2016. That's hilarious. | ||
| So this woman is tweeting all this shit, pretending she's a black woman, but really it's an account made by the Russian Internet Research Agency with links to the Kremlin. | ||
| That is wonderful. | ||
| Crystal1Johnson. | ||
| Do you think they killed her account? | ||
| Go to her account. | ||
| See if it's legit. | ||
| I hope it's still there. | ||
| Just highlight it. | ||
| Crystal1Johnson. | ||
| Please, please be real. | ||
| Please be real. | ||
| Please be real. | ||
| Tell me if you think it's real, Brian. | ||
| Guess. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see. | |
| Let's see. | ||
| Go. | ||
| Oh, she's still up! | ||
| No, it's gone. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| Account suspended. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| Goddammit, Jack. | ||
| That was what she used to look like? | ||
| No, no, that was somebody else's account who had retweeted it to. | ||
| Oh, that's her tweets. | ||
| That's the account there. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Look, she has a picture of a beautiful black girl laughing. | ||
| You probably didn't learn this in school. | ||
| And then she has a pic. | ||
| It says, Amelia Bassano is the lady who wrote all of Shakespeare's plays. | ||
| Because she was black, they would not publish her work. | ||
| She died in poverty because she never received a dime for her work. | ||
| Shakespeare was illiterate and could barely write his own name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Why are Russians writing this? | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| Because it's funny! | ||
| Positive black. | ||
| So people will share that. | ||
| Go back up to that tweet that doesn't show you how many people retweeted it, does it? | ||
| Not because it got deleted, so I can't find it. | ||
| Oh, this is wonderful. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| I mean, that's like so obviously not true. | ||
| Like, she's pretending that some black woman wrote all of Shakespeare. | ||
| I mean, isn't that like, wouldn't that be like the ultimate thing? | ||
| Like the white man, the white male privilege of Shakespeare allowed him to steal. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's some Anne Frank was actually an African American. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| This is the real Anne Frank. | ||
| If someone believed it, then... | ||
| Anna Quisha Frank Jackson. | ||
| I think it's a joke for sure. | ||
| She was a Jew from Africa. | ||
| The real land of the chosen people. | ||
| Oh my god, that is amazing. | ||
| But that would trick someone who doesn't use the internet a lot, you know? | ||
| Whitewashed fake. | ||
| No, she's pretending to be a crazy, radical feminist. | ||
| This was a response to that tweet by some random person. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Delirium swag. | ||
| Oh, that guy's probably Russian, too. | ||
| How many people that you contact on a daily basis are actually just Russian trolls? | ||
| Half the internet, I feel like. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what they're doing is very clever, though. | ||
| Like, it seems legit. | ||
| Seems legit, right? | ||
| Like, that seems like a crazy person. | ||
| I've seen many, many crazy, radical black activists on Twitter that say things that aren't nearly as ridiculous as that. | ||
| Or that that's more ridiculous, or that's less ridiculous than what they say. | ||
| I mean, if it's part of the problem, I don't even know if that's the right way to phrase it, but this is going on all over the internet in different forms and variations, and it's being used in not so nefarious ways, but it's being used for potentially good. | ||
| I don't know what the good would be, but someone has probably figured out how to use these bots. | ||
| Do you remember before retweeting was an option on Twitter, people would write RT, and then they would write what you said? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I used to encourage people to write RT and just make up a bunch of shit that I said. | ||
| And then I would go, this is outrageous. | ||
| I've never said this. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| And people would just say the most ridiculous shit. | ||
| Like, I love the taste of Cox. | ||
| And, you know, RT, Joe Rogan, just finally coming out. | ||
| I was like, goddammit! | ||
| But I just... | ||
| I don't remember when I did this, but it was like the early days of Twitter because I was like, this is, God, you could definitely just do that. | ||
| And then people would believe that you said a bunch of racist shit or a bunch of gay shit. | ||
| Well, you just opened that back up now, didn't you? | ||
| Go crazy. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| This is part of what I like about the internet. | ||
| Did you read, or did you listen, rather, to the Radiolab podcast on Shia LaBeouf? | ||
| No. | ||
| LaBeouf? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| I sent it to Jamie. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| What is it called again? | ||
| Truth Trolls? | ||
| Yeah, you have to find it because they took it down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How'd they take it down? | |
| I just got it off... | ||
| You had it already downloaded on your phone because you've auto-downloaded Radiolab Podcast. | ||
| So when I went to go find it, I had to go search for it. | ||
| I sent you that link. | ||
| They had taken it down the next day or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Because people thought that they were endorsing that. | ||
| Trolling. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They should be endorsing it. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| What the 4chan guys did was fucking amazing. | ||
| This is what they did. | ||
| Shia LaBeouf. | ||
| Is that how you say his name? | ||
| The Booth. | ||
| Whatever that fucking crazy asshole's name. | ||
| He was doing some weird art piece where he stood around with a bunch of other people and was like, he will not divide us. | ||
| He will not divide us. | ||
| They would all say that. | ||
| And then all these 4chan people found out about it, so they showed up and started yelling a bunch of fucking Trump shit. | ||
| It's still up live right now. | ||
| The camera is still on? | ||
| After that whole thing ended, they ended up selling this to another company or art people, and they're handling all of it now, so Shai's name's not attached anymore. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So this, he will not divide us thing, right? | ||
| He would go to these places and say, he will not divide us, he will not divide us, and people would show up, and they would show up with like... | ||
| Kekistan shirts on with Pepe the Frog. | ||
| They would wear Make America Great Again hats on. | ||
| And they weren't even necessarily Trump supporters. | ||
| They were just people trying to have fun, right? | ||
| They're trying to fuck with people, right? | ||
| So what they did was... | ||
| Shia LaBeouf put up a flag in the middle of nowhere that said he will not divide us and then had a live stream where you could go and look at the flag as it's waving in the breeze, right? | ||
| They found the fucking flag. | ||
| They found out where it was and the way they found it was genius and it's all detailed in this Radiolab. | ||
| The fact they took it down is actually making me mad. | ||
| Why would they? | ||
| Because what these guys did was awesome. | ||
| Alright? | ||
| First of all, it was brilliant. | ||
| They found social media posts that showed that people had met Shia LaBeouf in some place. | ||
| Is that how you say his fucking name? | ||
| LaBeouf. | ||
| LaBeouf? | ||
| They found out that they had met him in some weird place in Tennessee. | ||
| So they triangulated where he would be, right? | ||
| So then what they did was they went around. | ||
| They had one of their members go around with a car and beep the horn so they could hear the horn on the camera. | ||
| And once they heard the horn on camera, then they knew he was there. | ||
| Or then they knew the flag was there. | ||
| So then they found out where it is by stars! | ||
| They looked at the fucking stars and they figured out where the area is. | ||
| Because when it's nighttime, you can see the stars on the live feed, and they figured out what constellation it was. | ||
| They went to the fucking flag, took it down, put a Make America Great Again hat on and a Pepe the Frog thing up there, and the guy walks up to the camera and goes, fuck Shia LaBeouf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| And that's the end of it. | ||
| So great. | ||
| The fact that Radiolab took that down, that's depressing. | ||
| Why did they do that? | ||
| Did they not understand what's happening here? | ||
| Here's one of the ways how they did it. | ||
| When he was moving around, they found the log cabin he was in, and they're like, let's look for rental cabins that match the wood pattern. | ||
| There are around 3,000 rental caverns in Lapland. | ||
| We just need to match the wood patterns easy enough. | ||
| And then they just spend time doing it? | ||
| These guys are animals! | ||
| I fucking love this! | ||
| I don't understand why they were mad. | ||
| Here's how they did it too. | ||
| But this is what I understand. | ||
| I don't understand why Radiolab would take that down. | ||
| Why don't you Google that? | ||
| Why did Radiolab take down the Twitter truth or trolls, troll, truth trolls, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| So you listen to radio. | ||
| I've never listened to Radiolab. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's an amazing podcast. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Is it like a news? | ||
| It's one of my favorite podcasts. | ||
| They have all kinds of crazy shit on. | ||
| I mean, they have stuff on all sorts of different... | ||
| Oh, Radiolab removes its Truth Trolls episode from podcast feed. | ||
| Yeah, I was trying to find the actual... | ||
| Does it say why? | ||
| They posted a reason why, and this isn't theirs. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| But it's saying that they removed it, right? | ||
| That was someone who wrote an article. | ||
| Well, obviously they removed it. | ||
| Oh, editorial. | ||
| Radio Lab has decided to take down this episode. | ||
| Some listeners called us out saying that in telling the Capture the Flag story in the way that we did, we essentially condone some pretty despicable ideology and behavior. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| To all the listeners who felt that way and everyone else, please know that we hear you and that we take these criticisms to heart. | ||
| I feel awful that the things we said could be interpreted that way. | ||
| That's on us. | ||
| It was certainly not our intention, and we apologize. | ||
| Come on, folks. | ||
| You guys are missing the humor of this. | ||
| These aren't despicable people. | ||
| They are saying things that are ridiculous because it's funny. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people that say a lot of fucked up shit online. | ||
| Do they actually mean this stuff, or are they saying it because they are anonymous and because it's fun to say fucked up things online that you're not supposed to say? | ||
| I would say the latter. | ||
| I think there's a bunch of people that are really legitimately fucked up online. | ||
| There's a bunch of other people that think it's fun because they're stuck at some goddamn soul-sucking job in some fucking cubicle somewhere and they have access to the internet. | ||
| And so they go on message boards and they fuck around and they troll this asshole. | ||
| Shia LaBeouf is a dum-dum, alright? | ||
| He's a fucking plagiarist. | ||
| I mean, this guy's been busted for plagiarizing like giant chunks of other people's work, right? | ||
| Like, what did he get busted for plagiarizing? | ||
| He's in jail every couple weeks for being an asshole and being drunk and, like, yelling at people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he's a silly fool. | |
| I think that that gig, being a fucking movie star, is insane. | ||
| I think it's insanely pressure-filled. | ||
| It's way harder than what we do in terms of, like, dealing with all the people that like you and managing all the relationships and brief history of Shia LaBeouf copying the work of others. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a ton of shit. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| He plagiarized an apology to Alec Baldwin. | ||
| In 2013, he abruptly quit what would have been his first Broadway show, Orphans, due to creative differences. | ||
| That is, he couldn't get along with Alec Baldwin, according to reports. | ||
| LaBeouf decided the best way to explain his departure would be to tweet out a photo of his email apology to the cast. | ||
| And Baldwin. | ||
| By name, unfortunately, parts of the prose sample, a man owns up, dot dot dot, a man ellipsis, a man grasps his mistakes, was ripped off verbatim from a 2009 Esquire article titled, What is a Man? | ||
| People, including the article's author, noticed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Barf. | ||
| Yeah, that's not that bad, but he plagiarized a bunch of shit. | ||
| He plagiarized his directorial debut. | ||
| His short film, howardcantor.com, premiered in the 2012 Cannes Film Festival until it was posted online December 16, 2013, that viewers began to notice that the film was almost an exact adaptation of a graphic novel, that's the one, by Daniel Close, best known for Ghost World. | ||
| Close-told BuzzFeed, which brought much of this story to public light. | ||
| The first I ever heard of the film was the morning when someone sent me a link. | ||
| I've never spoken or met Mr. LaBeouf. | ||
| I've never seen even one of his films that I can recall. | ||
| And I was shocked, to say the least, when I saw that he took the script and even many of the visuals from a very personal story I did six or seven years ago and passed it off as his own work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I actually can't imagine what was going through his mind. | ||
| He then apologized for plagiarism by plagiarizing a Yahoo Answers post from four years ago. | ||
| My God! | ||
| He says copying isn't particularly creative work. | ||
| Being inspired by someone else's idea to produce something new and different is creative work. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Well, that's not totally copying what he said from the Yahoo's answers, but it's pretty goddamn close. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| He's obviously got mental issues. | ||
| And whether they're real or whether he's trolling or whether he's having a psychological meltdown because of all the pressure of being an actor. | ||
| Shitload of pressure and being in Transformers. | ||
| Fucking actors, man. | ||
| They're so gross. | ||
| Some of them are great. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I met a lot of cool actors. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| But I would say 10% of them are useless. | ||
| That's a big number. | ||
| That's a big number. | ||
| I would say 3% of comedians are useless. | ||
| Am I being generous? | ||
| Yeah, with the open micers. | ||
| Oh, you can't count those. | ||
| Professionals. | ||
| Professionals, yeah, 3%. | ||
| 3%. | ||
| Maybe 5%. | ||
| 3% are just loopy. | ||
| But at the Comedy Store, it's even less. | ||
| Like, paid regulars at the Comedy Store? | ||
| I would say it's less than 1%. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's totally different. | ||
| Because when you're including all comedians, and you're talking about the cruise ship comedians, and then you're the comedy class comedians. | ||
| Flappers. | ||
| Flappers, the whole establishment. | ||
| Yeah, the broad spectrum of humans that tell jokes on stage. | ||
| I ran into a buddy of mine who used to work on Fear Factor, and he's now doing stand-up in Burlington, Vermont. | ||
| He didn't start until he was in his 40s. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, he just had a fucking dream. | ||
| I've got a dream. | ||
| I've got a dream. | ||
| And he just decided to start doing stand-up comedy in his 40s. | ||
| Dean Del Rey started at a really young age. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I think at like 38 or something like that. | ||
| I want to say Dean was in his 40s as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because Dean's in his 50s now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think he's been doing comedy for 10 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, he hasn't. | ||
| I started open mics with him like seven years ago. | ||
| He's pretty fucking funny now, man. | ||
| I'll tell you what, Dean had a set the other night at the improv. | ||
| He made me laugh hard. | ||
| He had some funny jokes. | ||
| I don't want to say what the joke, the bit about, but it was about people who don't wear condoms. | ||
| It was fucking really well written. | ||
| He goes on stage more than anyone I know. | ||
| He actually writes down each time he goes on stage. | ||
| If he doesn't go up two or three times a night, he freaks out. | ||
| He doesn't date. | ||
| He doesn't have any relationships. | ||
| He just does stand up 100%. | ||
| Yeah, what's that about? | ||
| He doesn't date. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| That seems like not a good time. | ||
| Every time I ask him about it, he's always just like, I don't want to interrupt my comedy. | ||
| He's so focused on comedy. | ||
| Why does he date a comedian? | ||
| It's probably a bad idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always goes bad. | |
| Doesn't always go bad. | ||
| Look at Tom and Christina. | ||
| And Natasha Lazaro is a good one. | ||
| She just fucking swings monkey bars from one comedian to the next. | ||
| I think she's pregnant now. | ||
| No way! | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That or it was a joke. | ||
| She was on Fallon. | ||
| Probably a joke. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you think Moshe Kasher is fertile? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got that good juice sperm. | |
| He's got that good juice. | ||
| That good jujuice. | ||
| Good. | ||
| They would be great parents. | ||
| They're fucking smart as shit. | ||
| Reveals the worst parts of being pregnant in 2017. Oh, she is pregnant. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She has a nice little belly going on. | ||
| That's interesting because she was kind of cranky last time I saw her at the Comedy Store. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| She didn't look pregnant, though, because she had so many things on, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, well, she's well-dressed. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| If you had to pick the funniest comedian couples, they're top three. | ||
| It's like Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarlane are up there. | ||
| I think I got to give the fucking title to the mommies. | ||
| I give the title to Tom and Christina. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I think they're number one as far as funniest couple. | ||
| But Moshe and Natasha are right up there. | ||
| They're both legit, real, you know, top flight stand-ups. | ||
| And they actually get along somehow. | ||
| They're also the water champs. | ||
| I don't know if... | ||
| Tom and Christina? | ||
| Yeah, they're the water champs. | ||
| But they have a champ. | ||
| They have, like, real competition with each other to see who's the water champ. | ||
| They're having a personality champ contest amongst themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, Tom is in the fucking throes of our yoga challenge and he's lost a shitload of weight. | ||
| Christine was just ranting about it, like how great he looks. | ||
| He looks awesome. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| That fucking guy, when we did that weight loss challenge, he lost like, what was it, like 40-something pounds and then just ran with it. | ||
| Never let up. | ||
| Never went back to his old ways of eating and just stayed fit. | ||
| Worked out constantly. | ||
| Yeah, and he looks great. | ||
| There was a picture of him the other day that somebody put up on Instagram, and I was like, Jesus Christ, look at him. | ||
| He's skinny. | ||
| He's got to go get all new pictures again, because he doesn't look the same. | ||
| Well, Bert was talking about that, his Mostly Stories photo. | ||
| He's got this big old moon face. | ||
| And now you look at him, and he's all fucking thin and sexy. | ||
| We gotta wrap this up, dude. | ||
| I gotta abbreviate this one and get this out of here quicker than most. | ||
| Can I recommend a show for you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please do. | |
| There's a show that I can't get enough. | ||
| It's called Good Mythical Morning. | ||
| Have you ever watched this show? | ||
| Jamie? | ||
| So it's these two guys and it's really interesting how they filmed it because it's for all, like kids love it and adults love it and they're these two guys and every day they do this show and it's only like maybe 15 minutes long but every day it's something different like we're going to taste test 10 hamburgers and we're going to figure out which one it is or we're going to see if we're going to play this game where one We're good to | ||
| to eat the cow eyeballs and it's like they take parts of fear factor they take parts of just like interesting things like we're going to taste expired food from 40 years ago they're constantly eating stuff every day like it's really great I highly recommend it. | ||
| It's called Good Mythical Morning. | ||
| They also have a podcast called Ear Biscuits. | ||
| Rhett and Link are the guys' names. | ||
| They're pretty popular. | ||
| Did you do Hot Ones? | ||
| Did you eat? | ||
| I did a form of Hot Ones. | ||
| It was one of his off shows in between seasons. | ||
| Me and him went to the hottest chicken place in Los Angeles. | ||
| What's the hottest chicken place? | ||
| Howlin' Ray's. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| It's the most amazing chicken ever. | ||
| Where's it at? | ||
| Howlin' Ray? | ||
| Howlin' Ray's downtown. | ||
| Howlin' Ray's. | ||
| That's the episode. | ||
| He looks like he's talking to his brother. | ||
| But Howlin' Ray's is Nashville hot chicken. | ||
| And so they have the hottest chicken. | ||
| And they also have chicken that's not on the menu. | ||
| So we ate the three hottest chicken and the one that's not on the menu. | ||
| Me and him. | ||
| Why isn't it on the menu? | ||
| Because it's too hot. | ||
| We had to sign papers. | ||
| What? | ||
| You're not supposed to eat it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What happens? | ||
| What happens? | ||
| Well, you should watch the episode, but pretty much... | ||
| Are you going to leave me with a cliffhanger? | ||
| Yeah, but after we did it, Sean says, that was hotter than anything we've ever done on Hot Ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And he left immediately, went to his hotel room. | ||
| Me and him, I went to my house. | ||
| 45 minutes, I'm just laying there crying. | ||
| I fall asleep. | ||
| I wake up. | ||
| I'm shitting blood. | ||
| It's 24 hours of hell. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I wrote Sean, are you in the same boat? | ||
| And he's like, yeah, I'm done. | ||
| Is it that bad? | ||
| It was that bad. | ||
| So if you go to Howlin' Ray's, I recommend getting the mild or medium hot, but do not get the hottest and don't ask for the hidden menu item hot because it's horrible, unless you want to ruin your life. | ||
| But when it was over, did you feel good? | ||
| Sort of like a near-death experience? | ||
| No, I felt like I was hallucinating. | ||
| Hallucinating? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I mean, I was eating paper towels at parts just because- Just to calm your oils on your face? | ||
| Did you try milk? | ||
| No, we had ice cream afterwards that we shared. | ||
| That's supposed to help, right? | ||
| Yeah, ice cream kind of helps, but getting the oil, like that, my idea was get the oil out of my mouth because it was, my lips were getting inflamed. | ||
| So what is the pepper that they use? | ||
| Like Carolina Rita? | ||
| It was Carolina Rita, ghost pepper. | ||
| It had a bunch of them in there. | ||
| Jesus Christ, so you ate like ghost peppers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, and I ate all... | ||
| It's horrible, dude. | ||
| There's a chip now you can buy. | ||
| I think it's $4.99. | ||
| It's one chip. | ||
| That's supposedly the hottest chip you can eat. | ||
| And it's got... | ||
| I think it's made with like two or three of those ghost peppers or some shit like that. | ||
| A chip? | ||
| One chip. | ||
| What's wrong with people? | ||
| One of the funniest episodes of Get Mythical Morning is watch them eat the hottest pepper in the world and you'll see what I'm talking about there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a great show. | |
| All right. | ||
| We'll be back tomorrow with the winner of the Moab 240, Courtney Dowalter. | ||
| She ran 238 miles, and she beat everybody by, like, almost a marathon length, right? | ||
| Didn't she beat them, like, I think she was 20-plus miles ahead of the second-place dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Can I promote a show real quick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| November 8th, I'm going to be at Indianapolis at Morty's. | ||
| November 9th. | ||
| Good spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Morty's is a good spot. | ||
| Morty's is amazing. | ||
| And then November 9th, I'll be at the Funny Bone hometown in Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| And November 10th, I'll be in Pittsburgh at the new arcade theater that just opened up. | ||
| Powerful three-block comedy shows. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And people, where do they get tickets for that? | ||
| DeskWad.TV. Powerful. | ||
| Okay, we'll be back tomorrow again, like I said, with Courtney Dowalter and then Adam Greentree. | ||
| We got Tom DeLonge from Blink 182, the dude who is somehow or another communicating with aliens. | ||
| All the aliens. | ||
| He's doing some stuff with spaceships and shit, I'm sure he'll tell us. | ||
| And then The Great Mad Flavor will be here on Friday. | ||
| We're kicking off the new studio with a bang! | ||
| This is the official Hard Launch Week, you fucks! | ||
| We love you guys. |
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