Aug. 16, 2017 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:17:10
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hey everybody, what's up? | ||
| Hmm? | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| Got a lot of podcasts coming this week. | ||
| I got some good ones. | ||
| This one's a good one. | ||
| We just got done with it, so I'm aware. | ||
| It's not like I'm promising you some shit that's not taking place yet. | ||
| It was a good one. | ||
| Owen Benjamin's on the show today. | ||
| He's fucking hilarious. | ||
| And we had a grand old time. | ||
| This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, which is my all-time favorite underwear, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Do you have an all-time favorite underwear? | ||
| You probably don't. | ||
| Today is August, what is it, the 15th? | ||
| It's National Underwear Month, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I don't know if you know that. | ||
| Is that a real thing? | ||
| Who the fuck? | ||
| You can just say it is, right? | ||
| Like, you just say it's National Young Jamie Month. | ||
| No one can stop you. | ||
| You just say it's Young Jamie Month. | ||
| They go, no, it's not. | ||
| It's Filipino history, bro. | ||
| Like, what's that, too? | ||
| But it's also Young Jamie Month. | ||
| Can't stop us. | ||
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| How could it be better? | ||
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| I don't know what the fuck it is. | ||
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| Modol. | ||
| It's actually, to be specific, lensing micro-modol. | ||
| That's a new, as if anybody, nobody knew what the fuck what micro-moldall was. | ||
| They had an add another word that nobody knows what the fuck means. | ||
| Lensing micromodol, whatever. | ||
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| I haven't seen these studies. | ||
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| A lot of times natural fibers will actually inhibit odor. | ||
| And this stuff does. | ||
| Micromodol, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| No stinky undies. | ||
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|
unidentified
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Meundies.com forward slash Rogan. | |
| We're also brought to you by Squarespace, which if you haven't heard of it before, is a fucking fantastic solution if you need a website. | ||
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| And we're brought to you each and every episode by Onit.com. | ||
| Onit is a total human optimization company. | ||
| And what we focus on, what we strive for is optimizing your performance here on this planet, whether it's physically through the use of strength and conditioning equipment and modern methods of exercise physiology, | ||
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| This is all like scientifically proven shit. | ||
| There's studies on it, particularly alpha-brain studies that we funded ourselves with the Boston Center for Memory. | ||
| Double-blind, placebo-controlled studies that showed improvement in verbal memory, reaction time, peak alpha flow state. | ||
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| Oh, and IT, use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| All right, my guest today is a friend of mine from the comedy scene in Lochangras. | ||
| And Owen Benjamin is a funny dude, and I wanted to have him on for a long time. | ||
| He's very well known for being on the church of what's happening now with Joey Diaz and eating too many stars of death. | ||
| And he vanished into the night. | ||
| I think he just said, I'll be right back, and fucking ran out of there like a wild cat. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Joey will do that to people. | ||
| He's dark. | ||
| He goes dark on you. | ||
| Anyway, very funny dude, very good guy, very smart guy. | ||
| And we had a fun, silly time. | ||
| And we talked about some serious stuff too. | ||
| Give it up for Owen Benjamin. | ||
|
unidentified
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Joe Rogan podcast. | |
| Check it out. | ||
| The Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| Join my day. | ||
| Joe Rogan podcast my night all day. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, Owen Benjamin. | ||
| How are you, brother? | ||
|
unidentified
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Good. | |
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Thanks for coming here, man. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| We were just talking about kind of being outside of the bubble of the big cities and living in a nice, calm place, you know, like you're doing now. | ||
| Yeah, like there's chickens. | ||
| Oh, that's the move, man. | ||
| It's the move. | ||
| Because you could visit. | ||
| You could visit this crazy, fucked up place. | ||
| Yeah, that's why when you asked me to do this, I was like, yeah, I'm excited to visit LA. | ||
| And then I'll go back to like, you know, my brother and my family and a mountain and a lake. | ||
| Yeah, that's the way to do it. | ||
| If you can do it that way, that's the way to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, it's like there's some real benefits to living in a city, but there's also some real benefits to being outside of it. | ||
| I think that if you could figure out some sort of 50-50 thing like you're doing, like visit and then bolt, that's the move. | ||
| Yeah, it's also kind of altruistic. | ||
| Like 3,000 people, like I go back and forth between here and there, and I'm like, if someone dies, like everyone chips in if they can't afford it. | ||
| It works so well in small groups. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and then the bigger the group, the more it gets a little dicey. | ||
| It's a totally different way of living. | ||
| I feel like living in a small group is, you know, as long as it's a good group, you get stuck with a bad group. | ||
| And that's a real issue, too. | ||
| You know, like for some crazy meth heads that live down the street and they like to shoot things up in the middle of the night. | ||
| Well, that's part of your little small group. | ||
| And I delivered papers to those guys when I was a kid. | ||
| Did you do the car thing or the bike thing? | ||
| Bike and walk. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Someone stole my bike. | ||
| So I went back to walking. | ||
| So you got to, you develop some serious fucking core muscles carrying around all those newspapers. | ||
| Do you have a wagon or do you just do the bag thing? | ||
| No, I did the bag thing. | ||
| The bag thing? | ||
| I used to carry my dog in it. | ||
| I was strong, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| For real. | ||
| If you think about that, like people put sandbags on or weight vests on, rather, and they do all kinds of exercises. | ||
| And it's like 40 pounds. | ||
| Well, if you're like an adult, 40 pounds is like a good amount of weight to do like chin-ups and push-ups and stuff with a weight vest on. | ||
| But if you're a little kid, how old were you? | ||
| Nine to 13. | ||
| Dude, think how weak you are when you're nine and someone's strapping down newspapers on you. | ||
| Yeah, and that was chubby, too. | ||
| I bet it made you strong as fuck. | ||
| It definitely helped me get into puberty. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| And also power. | ||
| Like people do that for exercise. | ||
| You know, like farmer's walks. | ||
| You ever seen farmers walk? | ||
| Oh, yeah, totally. | ||
| They put like a barbell. | ||
| I can't even say the word. | ||
| You put a dumbbell in each hand and just walk or a kettlebell. | ||
| And just carry it. | ||
| Just walk. | ||
| Just carry the weight of the world. | ||
| It also makes you emotionally strong to be nine and like have to knock on a door like a pimp. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| You owe me a dollar. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You got to collect. | ||
| That was always a giant issue. | ||
| Collection. | ||
| Yeah, I only had a couple people that I had to collect from. | ||
| By the time that I had started delivering newspapers, they figured out how to do like these withdrawals from people's accounts. | ||
| Like, you know, they would pay for it in advance. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Somehow another, like, get a bank account withdrawal or something. | ||
| I didn't have to build them. | ||
| That was my point. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| But a couple people I did, and they have these little tan envelopes. | ||
| You'd have to leave the tan envelope. | ||
| They put the money in the envelope. | ||
| It was so weird. | ||
| It was also outdated. | ||
| Yeah, it was like 19th century newspaper delivery. | ||
| And also, like, if someone said they left it and you know that they didn't, like someone else took it and then they put it on a nine-year-old, it was like, it was intense to have to argue them down and be like, no, you do have to pay me. | ||
| I have overhead. | ||
| You know, I got my own guys. | ||
| And here's a little tip for people. | ||
| I don't want to be that dick, but if someone asks, if you put the newspaper inside their door, you kind of have to do it. | ||
| You got to do it. | ||
| That's a real drag if you're driving. | ||
| Because if you're driving, what you want to do is you want to just chuck that sucker down either the pathway or in the driveway and keep moving. | ||
| Boom, you got a lot of newspapers, son. | ||
| Keep moving, keep moving. | ||
|
unidentified
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If you've got a volume business, it's a volume business. | |
| You know, and they'd be like, you know, well, we'll take care of you on Christmas. | ||
| I'm like, dude, it's not. | ||
| There's no way it could be worth it. | ||
| It's like way more. | ||
| It's cold out. | ||
| I got to get out of the car. | ||
| I got to carry it. | ||
| I got to go all the way up your walkway, open your door. | ||
| That shit takes time. | ||
| If you had to do that with every house, it'd be impossible. | ||
| Impossible. | ||
| And also because of the winters. | ||
| And we didn't have plastic. | ||
| I was in a very outdated system. | ||
| You didn't have plastic for the bags? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| Whoa, that's crazy. | ||
| That doesn't even make sense. | ||
| No, it was a badly run newspaper. | ||
| We had plastic sometimes, but sometimes we just had rubber bands. | ||
| Like there was a, like it depended on the weather. | ||
| You didn't always have plastic. | ||
| But then they moved to plastic like later. | ||
| New York Times always had plastic and it was blue. | ||
| I took a New York Times route just because there was extra prestige in delivering the New York Times in my mind. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They're like, no, I'm not USA Today anymore, bro. | ||
| Well, I knew this guy who was really smart who also delivered newspapers. | ||
| He was like a whole community of people that delivered newspapers. | ||
| There's this one guy, one guy. | ||
| I remember this dude. | ||
| He was a very, very smart guy. | ||
| He was a music composer, and he drove a Hyundai. | ||
| He was explaining To me, how much engineering and time that South Korea had gone into before they created this automobile. | ||
| He's like, believe me. | ||
| He's like, these will be so reliable. | ||
| Like, if Koreans are going to put out a car, it's going to be the shit. | ||
| Like, they are not going to fuck it up. | ||
| And this dude delivered newspapers and he had the New York Times as part of his route. | ||
| And I was like, wow, he's sophisticated. | ||
| He's into classical music. | ||
|
unidentified
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He knows a lot about North Korea and South Korea. | |
| Yeah, I didn't know shit. | ||
| I was like, how does this guy know so much? | ||
| Yeah, I just knew like dinosaurs and sharks. | ||
| Like, I would just constantly read about dinosaurs. | ||
| Like, I could name every dinosaur, but I didn't know anything about the New York Times. | ||
| Did you see that new one that they found? | ||
| The Titanosaurus? | ||
| No, but that sounds incredible. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it does. | ||
| It took me back to being 12 again. | ||
| I was like, yes, what an awesome name. | ||
| Titanosaurus. | ||
| Yeah, that would like explain it to my friends and almost take it like it made me big. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Be like, it's so big, like eight cars could fit in it. | ||
| And be like, whoa. | ||
| I think they said it's something like eight elephants, something crazy like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's gigantic. | ||
| It's the biggest dinosaur that they've ever discovered. | ||
| And I feel like they discovered it within the last decade. | ||
| Look at the size of this motherfucker. | ||
| Jamie, can you rewind that to the very beginning where you see the full body video? | ||
| I'm not going to show it yet, really. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, okay. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Look at the size of this fucking thing. | ||
| Newly named species, the largest mammal, animal rather, to ever walk the earth. | ||
| The titanosaur fossil was discovered in Argentina in 2013. | ||
| Am I saying it right? | ||
| Titanosaur? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Scientists use tri-dimensional reconstruction to measure the mass. | ||
|
unidentified
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Woo! | |
| Look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| God. | ||
| Meat, meat, or veggie? | ||
| Oh, veggie. | ||
| We're so lucky. | ||
| That thing would still be around. | ||
| Yeah, it would. | ||
| It would win every fight. | ||
| Estimated. | ||
| It's as heavy as 12 elephants or a full Boeing 737. | ||
| Jesus fucking the skeleton at the American Museum of Natural History in New York is so large, dot, dot, dot. | ||
| Well, what? | ||
| You can leave it. | ||
| How large is it? | ||
| That its head sticks out. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That's embarrassing. | ||
| It's like just too big of a dick. | ||
| Do you think duct dicks back then were just like 20 feet long? | ||
| Duct dicks probably had like, yeah, I mean, duct dicks today can be like nine inches long for like a little tiny duck, right? | ||
| Isn't that the deal? | ||
| Like, Andrea? | ||
| Antonopoulos, he thought for some reason it was like three feet long, and he had me really super psyched. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| It's still pretty big. | ||
| It's not quite three feet long, but what a crazy little scenario that ducks have. | ||
| Yeah, like duck dick per body ounce must be like massive. | ||
| Massive. | ||
| Like a thigh. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like I literally had another thigh. | ||
| Because like the female duck has two vaginas. | ||
| You know this, the party pussy? | ||
| Well, they can decide like to let you in at every turn. | ||
| Yeah, it's a labyrinth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's why the duck dick is like this weird curly cue apparatus type thing. | ||
| And the length, because it's like the little tiny factors will affect the next generation. | ||
| So like one duck had like a slightly longer, windier wiener that could like manage the vagina. | ||
| And there was this like really weird discussion, this really weird scientific discussion about ducks and whether all duck sex was rape. | ||
| I think I was in on that one. | ||
| But they were trying to determine. | ||
| But like coming from someone me who has chickens and I get to see these animals' behavior and other birds that I've watched in my neighborhood, I posted a picture on Instagram recently of a hawk. | ||
| There's a hawk war going on in my neighborhood. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Hawks are killing hawks and they kill them and they cut their heads off and then they eat parts of their body. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's hawks doing it because one of my neighbors saw a hawk eating another hawk, like a baby hawk, in a nest. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they think that somehow another these hawks, these young juvenile hawks, are fighting to try to take over this area. | ||
| It's fatal. | ||
| That's like gang stuff. | ||
| Dude, it is gang stuff. | ||
| One of them came swooping into my chicken coop the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Slammed into the cage outside the chicken coop. | ||
| Like the door was shut, but it slammed into it like it was trying to get in to get the chickens. | ||
| I was like, whoa, this dude is bold as fuck. | ||
| I got an owl in my hood trying to get my chickens. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, owls are scary. | ||
| Owls are terrifying. | ||
| Like they could take out a dog. | ||
| They're a big animal, man. | ||
| People fucked up with owls with those goddamn movies, making them the wise old cute thing. | ||
| Because we're so just flying terror. | ||
| They're just out there testing lollipops and, you know, and giving out wisdom. | ||
| They're just licking lollipops and giving out wisdom, man. | ||
| Dude, when you see one in real life, you're like, oh, you're a fucking dinosaur. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Goddamn flying talon-covered dinosaur. | ||
| Yeah, they took out a few of my chickens, and I got pretty pissed. | ||
| I'm sure they did. | ||
| I'm sure they did. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| I am thinking in my neighborhood that someone used some sort of a rodent pesticide. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I really think that happened because I was reading about this, that some owls wind up dying because, and coyotes as well, because they'll eat rodents that were infected by this rodent pesticide. | ||
| It's poison they give for rats, just rat poison. | ||
| And animals eat the rats and then they get it and die off. | ||
| And they were talking about owls in specific who are really important for taking control of a population of rodents. | ||
| Yeah, and they got sweet necks, too. | ||
| We still don't think of what they are, man. | ||
| They are flying murderers. | ||
| We just, we made them something cute. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, like when you live in the woods, you're confronted with that constantly. | ||
| He's just really a raccoon. | ||
| Oh, sketchy. | ||
| Like, raccoons can, in their intelligence level. | ||
| Like, my brother had to kill one with a pitchfork recently. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, he was in the coop. | ||
| Oh, my. | ||
| I was trying to kill chickens. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And they'll open like locks and stuff. | ||
| Like, they have like fingers and hands. | ||
| Dude, there was one in my neighborhood, and he was coming towards a chicken coop at night, and the chickens were going crazy. | ||
| It was late at night. | ||
| And I shone the flashlight on him, and he started walking towards it. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I was like, fuck this. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| I'm out of here, man. | ||
| And their sound, their scream is nuts. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| I want to hear a raccoon scream. | ||
| I saw Guardians of the Galaxy. | ||
| That little dude was the scariest guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Little raccoon with the guns and smart. | ||
| He was smart as fuck. | ||
| Did you see two? | ||
| No, I haven't seen two yet. | ||
| Dude, I cried on the plane watching it. | ||
| Paul, sweetie. | ||
| No, but look, I don't really cry much in life. | ||
| But every now and then, like, some big archetypal movie will just grab me. | ||
| They can get you, especially once you're a parent. | ||
| You know, then you'll watch much more vulnerable. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| A duck dick? | ||
| We're looking at a duck dick right there? | ||
| How is that even real? | ||
| There's a nice fact they had here on the forced copulation. | ||
| Male ducks are notorious for attempting forced copulation with females. | ||
| So females seem to have involved vaginas to make it hard for a male duck to actually inseminate them if they don't want to by forcing it towards the dead ends. | ||
| Oh, wow, they have dead ends. | ||
| They have like trap doors. | ||
| Of course, male ducks haven't taken this lying down. | ||
| The more forced copulation a duck engages in, the longer the male's penises tend to be, according to a 2010 study. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So their dicks get longer the more they rape. | ||
| I wonder if the female duck like laughs a little, like when the rapey duck's like, meh, and she's like, meh, because she like sent them the wrong way. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
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She's like, she's like, you're not going to get me pregnant, but I just keep expelling calories. | |
| Look at this quote. | ||
| In fact, male ducks grow a new penis every year. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa. | |
| Which means they can vary the length depending on that year's competition. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| You imagine if your dick fell off every year like elk antlers and every year it grew back. | ||
| Like for like months, nobody had sex and everybody was cool with each other. | ||
| And we're like, God, can't we just be like this all the time? | ||
| Like imagine if it was just like we had a season like animals have. | ||
| Maybe that's our problem. | ||
| We're such gluttons. | ||
| We should have a breeding season. | ||
| We should have a season where literally our dick falls off and then it grows back. | ||
| It grows back. | ||
| Like if you could re-engineer people to have like a three-month period, like a off-season. | ||
| Let's have a little off season. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You know, where there's no genders. | ||
| There's no male, there's no female, there's no nothing. | ||
| Everybody's dick falls off and everybody just chills out for a little bit and doesn't think about anything but just life. | ||
| Existential shit. | ||
| You know, get some rental property. | ||
| Yeah, think about like going to the beach more. | ||
| Like, why don't I go to the beach more? | ||
| I always enjoy it. | ||
| It feels good when I'm there. | ||
| And then the dick size and shape will tell you what the year is to come. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, oh, it's a 15-incher. | ||
| We got some serious war ahead of us. | ||
| We got problems. | ||
| Yeah, because like chimp ball size is directly proportionate to the amount of sluts that are near them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa. | |
| That's the thing with primates for some reason. | ||
| There was some correlation between promiscuous females and like women having sex with more than one, I mean in a derogatory term, just like scientifically. | ||
| They were saying that women who were having sex with more males, those males grew bigger dicks and bigger balls. | ||
| Sperm competition. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like literally their balls got bigger. | ||
| I think that was like provable. | ||
| I don't know if the dick was provable. | ||
| People feel weird about studying dicks. | ||
| They do. | ||
| And there's so much, like, there's so many great stories if you study a dick. | ||
| But if, like, you're a dick doctor, people are like, hey, why that? | ||
| You don't stall into that. | ||
| That's what I prefer to call them. | ||
| It's the correct nomenclature. | ||
| You know, everyone wants to say penis, but. | ||
| My daddy was a cock doctor. | ||
| His daddy was a cock doctor. | ||
| We've always been studying. | ||
| It seems so important yet. | ||
| Everyone's so ashamed. | ||
| Have you read sperm wars? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| No, I did not. | ||
| But I think that's been disproven. | ||
| There was a study that they did where they could not recreate the idea that some sperm actually attack sperm and kill them. | ||
| They couldn't show that there was a real differentiation in cells, like there were cells that have the ability to go out and kill other sperm. | ||
| They were saying that that was more theoretical than anything, and the guy who originally wrote it might have like leaped to a conclusion. | ||
| I can see that. | ||
| Obviously, I don't know shit. | ||
| But this is just what I had read, was that like scientifically, it doesn't really jive. | ||
| But what does jive is with primates, this idea that the more females are around, the more you grow more balls and you grow like bigger loads, I'm sure. | ||
| That was definitely about load size. | ||
| Do you think they measure load size, though? | ||
| How are they going to like, hold on, chimp, before you come? | ||
| Come over here, little fella. | ||
| Why don't you pull out and come on this chimp over here? | ||
| Yeah, how would you be able to tell? | ||
| How would you be able to study chimp load size? | ||
| They probably just surround him with a bunch of slutty chimps and then one brave dude just has to jerk him off. | ||
| No one's that brave. | ||
| Yeah, because chimps will just rip your face out. | ||
| Plus, they know that a hand job is not the best thing. | ||
| They're like, we can do better than this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially with a big old scientist manhand. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, start sucking or you're not going to get a sample. | ||
| Yeah, and if it's a lady scientist, you can't let a lady scientist go in there and jerk off a chimp because that's like some sort of prostitution almost, right? | ||
| So it would have to be a dude. | ||
| Either way, the chimp's going to fuck you up if he wants to. | ||
| He's going to just beat the shit out of you while you're jerking him off. | ||
| Yeah, that would just be such a weird beating. | ||
| If you get that black eye, I was jerking off a chimp and he freaked out. | ||
| Yeah, if he feels vulnerable at all, like you're going too hard. | ||
| Like, I get vulnerable with hand jabs. | ||
| Yeah, could you imagine if you like hurt a chimp's dick? | ||
| I mean, it's not like you guys are communicating in English or anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're just jerking him off. | ||
| And you look at him and you're like, hey, buddy, it's going to be good. | ||
| You're going to come so hard. | ||
| And then like, maybe you fucked up. | ||
| You're like, maybe he likes it rough. | ||
| And you give him a couple of hard shakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he just beats you to a pulp. | ||
| Yeah, because you keep hitting his balls and you don't realize it. | ||
| Well, just grabbing his dick in a way that he's not comfortable with anymore. | ||
| It's like, I don't trust you anymore. | ||
| Before, your movements were soft and sensual and they seem like controlled. | ||
| Now you're like, yank it on my dick. | ||
| It's like, now you got an agenda about this hand job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think to a chimp, like any kind of violent display like that, that's like some sort of dominance display. | ||
| Like when a chimp takes a stick and starts banging it on another stick. | ||
| Their balls get big and they just start punching. | ||
| I don't know if that's how it happens. | ||
| Do balls get big with violence? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| That's a real good question. | ||
| I wonder if there's a correlation between violence and how much sexual intercourse they have. | ||
| Because like the bonobos have the most sex, but they have the least violence. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I wonder if that's just because that's just who they are. | ||
| They're weird. | ||
| They don't do a lot of the shit that regular chimps do. | ||
| No, and the females will just, like, it's a really funny nature channel. | ||
| And it's like, here we have a male being angry. | ||
| And then it's like, and then like five chicks will be like, just start Fucking him. | ||
| And then it's like, now he's asleep in the banana leaves. | ||
| War has been averted for thousands of years. | ||
| Yeah, they figured it out. | ||
| Just have a big old fuck party every day. | ||
| Just drain balls. | ||
| And pussies as well. | ||
| You just keep everybody calm. | ||
| Everybody fucks everybody. | ||
| Everyone's fucking. | ||
| Yeah, because then you think it might be your kid, too. | ||
| So you have to protect all the kids. | ||
| They have rules. | ||
| The only rule is a mother will not have sex with a son. | ||
| That's a solid rule. | ||
| It's the only one, though. | ||
| Guys fuck their daughters. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The whole thing is they have a strange system in that regard. | ||
| Like this is the one taboo that this incredibly promiscuous culture, or I guess you can call them a culture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Species has. | ||
| They're fascinating, man, because they're so much like regular chimps, but they're not violent at all, hardly. | ||
| They like make some noise and shit, but they don't do much. | ||
| Yeah, it almost like perfectly splits our psyches as humans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Like we all have chimpan bonobo in us. | ||
| Well, just knowing that that's possible, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that what we are is just sort of like, you know, even like what we are as a culture, it's just sort of kind of like worked into this spot, and that's what it is. | ||
| You know, like what we are, it didn't have to work out this way. | ||
| You know, it could have worked out some other really weird way. | ||
| Like all the other life forms that you see around. | ||
| I mean, we could be dolphins. | ||
| They think dolphins are as smart as us. | ||
| They think it's entirely possible that without the context of our culture, like our ability to display intelligence through tests and math and building things, engineering, without any ability to display that, we don't really know how smart they actually are. | ||
| We just assume that the social intelligence they have is not as valuable as the intelligence that's involved in creating things. | ||
| But they have a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a person's. | ||
| That's intense. | ||
| Yeah, it's intense. | ||
| Yeah, because all our tests are based on what we value. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| What we appreciate. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there's some other tests that they do, and they know there's some really complex language that they have that they can't decipher. | ||
| They still haven't figured out what the fuck they're saying. | ||
| They know that there's dialects. | ||
| They know there's dialects. | ||
| And they know that dolphins can understand a lot of the things that we tell them. | ||
| But they don't exactly know what the fuck they're saying, that's for sure. | ||
| They've never broken it down like that. | ||
| Remember in close encounters? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They broke it down. | ||
| They're like, oh, there's a whole language here. | ||
| Oh, see, you know, they tried to figure out what the language was. | ||
| They've been studying dolphin language forever, and they're like, who knows what the fuck they're saying? | ||
| Dude, dolphins blow my mind. | ||
| Dude, they're smart. | ||
| But they also do some fucked up shit, too. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of infantricide. | ||
| Sex slaves. | ||
| Yeah, they kill babies. | ||
| It's a real common thing, like it is in all of nature. | ||
| Unfortunately, males kill the babies of, you know, if it's not his kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You find a woman, you kill her babies. | ||
| It's really crazy that that's the code of nature. | ||
| Somehow or another, like that was the way to do it. | ||
| Like, whoo. | ||
| Like, somehow or another, of all the years of these things trying to improve to get to the position they're at now to be the most sturdy, the most viable, the most complex, the most able to figure out a way to survive. | ||
| After all that, one of the options for one of the smartest things on the planet is eat babies. | ||
| Got to eat the babies of other dudes. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a race to the bottom of morality for efficiency on that one. | ||
| Because it's like, you can see how quickly that works. | ||
| You know, your genes go, theirs don't. | ||
| But it's like so disturbing. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Do you think that there's a massive, I mean, there's got to be a massive, massive advantage in being able to physically record things that people have learned and to be able to recreate them in the way that only we can? | ||
| Like as much as we can say that dolphins are intelligent, and I'm sure they are, and their brains might work better than ours. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| But our brains, we have this weird ability to manipulate things on dry land. | ||
| And that means we figured out electricity. | ||
| And that means we figured out electronics. | ||
| We figured out electronic storage and shit like this. | ||
| The internet, Twitter, Instagram, the instantaneous access to information about stuff. | ||
| Like that's just changing everything almost like a life form. | ||
| It's unreal because we can act out things in the abstract and not actually have to do them and then create something bigger. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm not sure we're smarter. | ||
| I think collectively we are. | ||
| But like as individuals, like the dolphin literally might be like a more potent mind than ours. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, pigeons have incredible abilities that we don't have. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They can go like 5,000, 6,000 miles to the same spot without a map or either. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Like those homing pigeons. | ||
| Yeah, what are they using? | ||
| Like magnetic fields? | ||
| What are they using? | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I mean, that to me is so intense. | ||
| You know, Nikola Tesla was in love with a pigeon? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I heard that on this show, actually. | ||
| You were talking about that. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That guy was deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Deep. | |
| Yeah, he couldn't make money on any of his own shit, though. | ||
| All he could do is just love that pigeon. | ||
| Well, he was just so super, duper off-the-charts smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That I think he had a tremendous difficulty in interacting with regular people. | ||
| You know, and this guy just wasn't the best businessman in the world. | ||
| He was just a super genius inventor. | ||
| But he was crazy, though. | ||
| Massively, massively, what would it be the word? | ||
| Eccentric. | ||
| Yeah, I think there's a level of intelligence where you start almost becoming destructive. | ||
| You know, it's like that funny bot on South Park. | ||
| Remember, it was like, the greatest joke in the world is to kill everyone and say, awkward. | ||
| Where it's like, if you do the math of stakes of jokes and then like the like all the math of it, it could get real dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's kind of like some people are so smart. | ||
| They're like, why wouldn't I love a pigeon? | ||
| It can go 5,000 miles. | ||
| And you're like, they don't have that thing that tells them just, that's weird. | ||
| Yeah, well, he didn't care anymore. | ||
| I think he loved the pigeon more than he loved people. | ||
| And it might not have been like a romantic love. | ||
| It might have been like some spiritual thing. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| There's one photo of him that's so iconic. | ||
| It's Nikola Tesla sitting in front of a pair of Tesla coils. | ||
| And he's got his legs crossed, and he looks like the master of the universe. | ||
| He literally looks like a character in a Marvel comic book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy was a wizard, like a literal wizard. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, Look at this guy. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
| He's sitting there reading shit. | ||
| He's sitting there with his legs crossed, and this crazy electrical thing is going on behind him. | ||
| And that's the guy that would fall in love with a pigeon. | ||
| Because it's like if that, like, what, like in his mind, he's like, yeah, I'll just make all these crazy sparks with my brain and read a book and then just love a pigeon. | ||
| Can you imagine what it must be like to be a guy as smart as that? | ||
| Like, clearly, like, a next-level intellect. | ||
| Like, there's like us as normal folks, and then there's these like super genius, like, you know, like a LeBron James of thinking. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck? | ||
| How's he doing that? | ||
| And that's what that guy was. | ||
| Imagine being that guy and just seeing all these things that haven't been figured out yet. | ||
| Like, how come you guys haven't done this? | ||
| That must be so frustrating. | ||
| What about doing this? | ||
| How about you have electricity just in the air? | ||
| You wanted to fucking pump it electricity in the air where you would get it for free, like the radio. | ||
| That must be like being around drunk people all the time. | ||
| Like being that smart around normal people. | ||
| It's like being sober at a bar and have everyone be like, dude, I pee on my penis. | ||
| And you're like, what's wrong with you? | ||
| And that's probably Tesla with like us. | ||
| He's like, oh, you can't just make the sparks. | ||
| That's a very good way of describing it. | ||
| It's a very good way of describing it. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's probably exactly what's going on. | ||
| I've talked to a bunch of like really, really smart people in the time doing this podcast. | ||
| And then off-podcast, one of my favorite examples is John Carmack. | ||
| Do you know who he is? | ||
| He's like this super genius coder who wrote the 3D engine for id software. | ||
| I guess he'd be like the lead programmer or something for id software. | ||
| One of the founders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Quake and Doom and all those 3D games. | ||
| Like he invented those things. | ||
| That's unreal. | ||
| And every time I talk to him, I'm like, Sean, barely your species. | ||
| Barely the same species. | ||
| His brain is firing so hard and so fast. | ||
| You're like, wow, I'm such an ape. | ||
| You can see that on Twitter with Sam Harris sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes he'll do a comeback and I'm like, I got to read like nine books to even get that. | ||
| Sam's stupid smart. | ||
| It's like crazy smart. | ||
| Yeah, he's very smart. | ||
| Very smart. | ||
| There's a lot of people like that, man. | ||
| And they'll give you a real reality check if you think you're smart. | ||
| You think you're an exceptional mind. | ||
| My wife has her master's in structural engineering, and a lot of my buddies are super conspiracy. | ||
| Did you see a 9-11 truther? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| That's literally what happened. | ||
| One of my buddies is like, dude, they proved that a building can't fall that way. | ||
| And my wife just calmly just goes, but I'm they. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| She's like, I know how the structure of buildings works. | ||
| And she wasn't saying it maliciously. | ||
| She was like trying to be like, no, but I'm they. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Silly. | ||
| And there's still, you know, it could still be a thing. | ||
| I'm not saying it isn't true. | ||
| I'm just saying that like she was saying it is possible for a building to fall directly on top of itself is all she was saying. | ||
| Well, you know, that whole Tower 7 thing is so fascinating because that's the one thing where everybody points to when it comes to 9-11. | ||
| Now, what a lot of people don't know is that there's a longer video. | ||
| When you watch the thing collapse, it absolutely looks like a controlled demolition. | ||
| And the problem with that is, if you're not an actual engineer and you don't really know how they built that building, it was unusual. | ||
| If you don't really know enough about it, there's a lot of things that I kind of know about, but I don't really. | ||
| Like if I had to explain a double clutch transmission in like a BMW, I think I could half-ass it, but if there was someone right next to me that knew, that really knew about it, they would go, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the half-truth confidence can be hilarious. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| We got to be real careful with that shit. | ||
| It's like, listen, I've read BuzzFeed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like, you have this, like, this knowledge balls without, because that's what's getting a little infuriating with me now is a lot of the things being debated I actually know a ton about. | ||
| And like, like I was a World War II history major, like who lived in the Czech Republic studying authoritarian governments and stuff. | ||
| And like, so like, I mean, I'm not like an expert expert. | ||
| Like you, sometimes you have people on the show. | ||
| But he's actually read books about tons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're about, so when they just get the most basic things about the everyone's a Nazi, this is Nazi. | ||
| And then you, because then you can't point out the actual Nazis and, you know, and just how it, and everyone thinks that it's left wing, right-wing, but it's really not. | ||
| Like, like right-wing dystopia would be like Mad Max. | ||
| Like there's no government at all. | ||
| And left is communist or, you know, socialist fascism. | ||
| It's just like the government is everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| The need for everything to be conspiracy is a real problem. | ||
| It's a real problem for a lot of people. | ||
| The need to know that they're right about things is a real problem. | ||
| You know, the not admitting that you don't really know part is a problem because until I'm absolutely certain that what you're saying, like I have to know when I'm talking to you, if you say I'm absolutely 100% positive that if I light this paper on fire, it'll burn. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| If this is regular paper and I have a regular fire, I'm 100% positive. | ||
| I have to hear you say, I have to know that that's how you really are operating. | ||
| So if you're telling me it's 100% that Kennedy's driver shot him, dude, it's 100%. | ||
| You watch the video, it's 100% Kennedy's driver shot him or any kind of crazy conspiracy like that. | ||
| As soon as you say you know for sure, it's like, God damn, man. | ||
| You know for sure that it wasn't a plane that hit the Pentagon. | ||
| You know for sure? | ||
| How do you know for sure? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I agree with you completely. | ||
| You can know for sure. | ||
| And if everyone agrees, like I always get freaked out when like everybody agrees on everything. | ||
| I feel like I'm in a cult. | ||
| Yeah, it gets super culty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| On both sides, as being a skeptical person, like there's a lot of people that are skeptics that they'll look at things even like Operation Northwoods and they'll be like, well, that's just no big deal. | ||
| Like they were planning on killing Americans. | ||
| They were going to arm Cuban friendlies and have them attack Guantanamo Bay. | ||
| They were trying to get us to go to war with Cuba and they were going to manipulate us. | ||
| They were going to blow up a drone jetliner and blame it on Cuba so we'd be outraged. | ||
| We want to go over and kick Cuba's ass. | ||
| It would cost, who knows, countless thousands of American lives for sure. | ||
| Because you're talking about 1961 or two or whatever it was when Kennedy vetoed this shit. | ||
| It was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. | ||
| They were really going to do this. | ||
| Like, anybody who doesn't look at that and get disturbed, this is from the Freedom of Information Act. | ||
| That's not a conspiracy. | ||
| The problem with the really wacky conspiracies, like, you know, Kennedy's driver shot him or, you know, the go as deep as you want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The really wacky ones distract from the real ones. | ||
| They mask it. | ||
| It makes it so nothing means anything. | ||
| Alex Jones was saying something fucking crazy today. | ||
| Like there was Jewish actors pretending to be Nazis in Charlottesville. | ||
| Like, these guys had tattoos of swastikas on their chest. | ||
| That's not a fucking... | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| It's not a fucking actor. | ||
| Once you tattoo a swastika on your chest, you're not acting anymore. | ||
| You've committed to a team. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's like one of the biggest steps I can possibly think of as a human being. | ||
| It's to go to a tattoo parlor and be like, give me the fucking craziest one. | ||
| I saw this gay flag Nazi thing. | ||
| One of the reasons why you try to take the swastika back. | ||
| That's like from a bit that I had in like 2014 about camo. | ||
| I was talking about those Duck Dynasty guys where they kept talking shit about gay people. | ||
| I'm like, dude, they're going to take over Camo. | ||
| They'll fuck with you. | ||
| And they'll just, every gay porno from now on takes place in camo. | ||
| It's like trucker hats. | ||
| Like it went from like truckers being like, we're fucking great. | ||
| And then a minute later they're like, I'm not Justin Bieber. | ||
| I just like Miller Light. | ||
| Yeah, the idea was that every porno film ever made would be made in a duck blind. | ||
| Every gay porno. | ||
| Bro, that's fucking genius. | ||
| And they would all start out with this one of, man, the gayest black guy you could ever find going, something about duck hunting make me horny. | ||
| That's fucking genius. | ||
| A white dude comes in on chains and drops to his knees, starts sucking his deck. | ||
| And they're all in camo. | ||
| Oh, because that, because then they can't just do it without having to apologize to people and be like, dude, we're not into all that shit. | ||
| My point was that it started like they took over the rainbow. | ||
| They could take over that too. | ||
| They could take over camo. | ||
| They could take over everything. | ||
| They took over all visual light. | ||
| Yeah, light sticks. | ||
| Like red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo. | ||
| It's like, you know, most people just have, it's like, oh, we're the environmentalists. | ||
| Like, oh, you get green. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, we're, you know, they're like, it's like, we want all the fucking colors. | |
| They get like a southern accent immediately. | ||
| What do you think the gay rainbow thing has done to the leprechaun industry? | ||
| Probably crippled it. | ||
| Crippled it. | ||
| Yeah, they think they got gold. | ||
| They found a gay bar in the middle of Ireland. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, for thousands of years, it was all about us. | |
| It was all about finding the paracode at the end of the rainbow. | ||
| Now it's about sucking dick and put fucking. | ||
| What happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck did they do? | |
| They culturally appropriated it from the leprechauns. | ||
| They culturally appropriated it from the leprechauns and fucking owned it. | ||
| Owned it like Q-Tip owns cotton swabs. | ||
| Owned. | ||
| Owned it in a period of like, what, 10, 20 years? | ||
| All colors. | ||
| They owned the rainbow, the whole rainbow. | ||
| Like, if you think about when, when the fuck was the rainbow first discovered? | ||
| Long time ago. | ||
| Long time ago. | ||
| When was the first leprechaun story, the pot of gold? | ||
| That's probably hundreds of years of leprechauns being associated with rainbows, right? | ||
| And now it's just dudes sucking dudes. | ||
| Just one day, it just became it. | ||
| It just turned, and that's a hard turn, too, from like, oh, it's sunny and rainy at the same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, now it's gay. | |
| And it's just also taking all the colors. | ||
| I just find like, you know, gun control is the orange color, and it's just like, they get all of them. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| It's when you think about like men and women, like in a straight culture, like straight men and straight women. | ||
| I wonder if there's more violence with straight men and straight women than there are with gay men, like gay communities. | ||
| I wonder if it's like per capita if the gay communities have less violence. | ||
| That would be really fascinating to me. | ||
| If there's more males together and less violence versus males and females together. | ||
| I feel like there's two effects happening simultaneously. | ||
| Like it could make it go down or up because it's like you're always draining balls because gay dudes, gay dudes are constantly. | ||
| There's no one around to say no. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They go to the gym, bow job, car ride, head. | ||
| But then the flip side is you're doubling the amount of testosterone and crazy. | ||
| And like, if you get in a fight with your, you know, partner and there's nothing saying like, but you can't hit women. | ||
| You can beat the fuck out of each other. | ||
| It's real bad. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Two dudes in a backyard brawl after they butt fucked. | ||
| And then they start butt fucking during the fight. | ||
| They just get hot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you bitch. | ||
| I can't believe you gave me a black eye, you bitch. | ||
| Dude, I bet lesbians don't fight much. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| That's a good. | ||
| That seems like a sexist thing to say, Owen Benjamin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I can't wait to just call you out. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love being called out. | ||
| Because then it's like so quick that. | ||
| It's so sexist. | ||
| And then you have like a good point and you're clearly not hateful. | ||
| And then they're just like, so like, what do we do now? | ||
| It's like they can't stay mad when you're like, no, you double men and then you're going to get dudes who love working out and like, you know, real estate. | ||
| I wonder if that's the case, though. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Because I just guessed about the statistics. | ||
| What do you think they would be? | ||
| Let's look them up. | ||
| But before we do that, what do you think they would be? | ||
| Do you think there'd be less violence in the gay community? | ||
| I think there would. | ||
| That's my guess. | ||
| As far as domestic violence, like partnerships. | ||
| Violence in general. | ||
| Violence committed. | ||
| Dude, I'm going to say less violence. | ||
| I'm going to say less violence. | ||
| Less violence. | ||
| I'm trying to find it. | ||
| Jamie, what have we got? | ||
| I'm trying to find it. | ||
| All I found so far is most of it was about hate crime. | ||
| So digging through. | ||
| Okay, that's the problem because they get victimized by people outside of their community. | ||
| I found one that says there's a study that suggests that same-sex relationships suffer higher levels of domestic violence than heterosexual ones. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That's just like a study. | ||
| Was it by like Christian Workshop? | ||
| No, it's on the BBC reporting it, but I couldn't. | ||
| Oh, is violence more common in same-sex relationships? | ||
| Yeah, well, you know what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It doesn't say how much. | ||
| That's domestic violence. | ||
| I feel like they have more in common, like less arguing, right? | ||
| maybe not, though. | ||
| Domestic violence is a weird word, right? | ||
| It's like it's extra creepy violence because it's violence against someone you care about. | ||
| You're near them and you lose your temper to the point where you're enacting violence on someone, at least at one point in your life, you probably loved. | ||
| Right now, you want to get violent with them, like physically violent. | ||
| So dangerous. | ||
| Imagine being a cop walking into that shit. | ||
| I can't imagine. | ||
| Especially when you can't arrest a guy and you're like, this chick's going to die eventually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| That's some heavy, heavy shit. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That's another reason why I think it's such worse violence because you always, in my head, I'm like, it's a dude beating a woman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even though the other way does happen, but you just don't really, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's all fucked up. | ||
| It's like just the fact that people can fall apart so bad that they get to the point where at one point in time they love this person. | ||
| Like this person's probably like super important to them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now you want to kill them. | ||
| You want to stab them. | ||
| You want to beat them up. | ||
| You want to hit them in the head with something like, woof, woof. | ||
| You're off the tracks. | ||
| Yeah, because kind comes from the word kin. | ||
| Like you're supposed to love your kin, you know? | ||
| Is that where it comes from? | ||
| Kind, yeah, kin, yeah. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You treat kinfolk? | ||
| Kinfolk, yeah. | ||
| Where the fuck did kind bud come from? | ||
| Kind bud? | ||
| Yeah, that was always like the weird hippie thing. | ||
| Like, that was one of the surefire ways when you didn't want to get high with somebody. | ||
| If they offered you some kind bud. | ||
| See me. | ||
| Yeah, and they were happy sad. | ||
| Listen, bro, we're going to have a conversation about astrology that I really can't have right now. | ||
| Yeah, like it is a red flag to win an astrology combo. | ||
| I'm fucking tired, and I don't want your nonsense. | ||
| I don't want to hear about your channeler. | ||
| I don't want to hear about your spiritual advisor. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Yeah, kind is nonsense talk. | ||
| Door opener. | ||
| Kind bud? | ||
| Kind bud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so funny. | |
| It's kind bud, man. | ||
| We had good weed and not good weed. | ||
| Like, it's okay. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| It's mid-grade. | ||
| Mid-grade, if you were like a connoisseur, you would say these are mids. | ||
| Mids? | ||
| Mids. | ||
| Yeah, we just had weed. | ||
| Yeah, and you just, like, from like 1997 on, it's just been space weed. | ||
| It's not even the same. | ||
| It's not even the same thing, man. | ||
| And everybody denies that. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| From the moment I started smoking weed, it's been space weed. | ||
| Yeah, like the star death experience I had with Joey Diaz. | ||
| I was sorry about that. | ||
| That felt like mushrooms. | ||
| It felt closer to mushrooms than it did weed in my mind. | ||
| I explained it on the Poly Shore podcast. | ||
| I explained too much, but I'll explain it one more time. | ||
| When you eat marijuana, it's processed by your liver and it produces something called 11-hydroxymetabolite. | ||
| And it's way more, like four to five times more psychoactive than THC. | ||
| And it's a totally different feel. | ||
| Like it feels like a psychedelic drug. | ||
| Like a really potent one, too. | ||
| Like, especially if you go super deep, it gets really weird, especially when you lie down with your eyes closed. | ||
| If you get like that and you're really freaking out, one thing that can kind of bring you out of it, if you can enjoy this, is go somewhere dark and close your eyes. | ||
| And like if you're really freaking out on weed, I bet there is a light show for you to watch. | ||
| Like it'll be like, for me, one of the things that I remember, like consistently, I would see neon cartoons having sex. | ||
| Like neon looking old school, goofy, old school Mickey Mouse cartoons with them moving weird, but they were made out of neon. | ||
| And they were having sex with each other and creating more. | ||
| And they were like branching off like some sort of a fractal. | ||
| It was fucking crazy. | ||
| Dude, neon sex fractal has to be the name of your next. | ||
| It was like I was seeing it all in front of me in 3D too, like I was on some Disney ride. | ||
| It was happening all around me. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy that this is just weed. | ||
| And it's crazy when you make the jump where you realize someone's showing you something versus you imagining something. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Where you're like, oh, I'm just watching something else versus like, picture a helicopter. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| But it's just like, holy shit, this is something I've never seen before and I don't know who's showing it to me. | ||
| Yeah, there's something going on. | ||
| And to deny it is really interesting because I think it's another one of those things, much like where people want to talk about, I know for a fact something was a conspiracy. | ||
| They also want to say, I know for a fact that this is a hallucination and that's all it is. | ||
| I know for a fact that this is just chemicals interacting with your mind. | ||
| But your whole life is chemicals. | ||
| You mean your mind is like constantly processing different chemicals, whether it's adrenaline or whatever it is, different emotions. | ||
| There's a lot of different things going on chemically in your body all the time. | ||
| And then there's the big one, which is when your eyes shut and you go to sleep and then you imagine a bunch of shit happening that's not really happening. | ||
| Yeah, like whole civilizations have been built on like the reverence for what you're talking about. | ||
| So it's not like there's definitely something going on. | ||
| There easily could be something going on. | ||
| There could be different frequencies that our normal biology is tuned into a very specific frequency. | ||
| And when something's off, it could be that they're not picking it up. | ||
| Like maybe that's one of the things about schizophrenics, right? | ||
| They have these issues with their brain chemistry. | ||
| Maybe they're tuning into a totally different world than us. | ||
| Maybe their world is like the fucking dark city. | ||
| Remember that movie with Kiefer Southern? | ||
| Yeah, he's upside down. | ||
| Yeah, everything is fucking, everybody's got like four foot long fingers and they're fucking creeping around corners. | ||
| Maybe in their world, everything's like completely fucked because they're tuned in with their own brain chemistry. | ||
| Literally, they're interacting with the universe around them in such a different way that their world is dark and scary and ugly and twisted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a filter. | ||
| Like when I learned about dark matter, I lost all hubris that I know anything. | ||
| Like that 70% of the universe is this thing that we can't see or feel or measure anywhere and we have no idea what it is. | ||
| I was like, yeah, I don't fucking know about Tower 7, man. | ||
| It's like, I'm out on that. | ||
| It's a good way to describe it. | ||
| There was Something really recently about dark matter where they were saying that they think that dark matter is stored inside black holes. | ||
| See if we can find that. | ||
| So, what the fuck's a black hole? | ||
| Do you even get that? | ||
| That one's a mind-bender. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What's happening out there? | ||
| There's some infinitely dense point, and everything is getting sucked into it, and it's eating it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It's eating planets? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck did you just say? | ||
| And it's instant, but to the thing, it's eternity. | ||
| Yeah, wait a minute. | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| So there's something out there that's eating planets. | ||
| Is dark matter less lumpy than predicted? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| That sounds racial. | ||
| It could be racial or at least gender specific. | ||
| That's not gender specific. | ||
| If dark matter was a person, what pronoun would it use? | ||
| Ah, man. | ||
| That's an intense one. | ||
| Zir. | ||
| Zer. | ||
| Zur. | ||
| But you can say Zir too. | ||
| You can say whatever you want. | ||
| It's just made up. | ||
| I mean, there's going to be a rule around how to say it. | ||
| But see, yeah, it's like when it comes to gender stuff, see, that's when I stop. | ||
| That's when I have a little bit of an opinion where I'm like, there are men and there are women. | ||
| Yeah, but there's also a spectrum, right? | ||
| I mean, there's women that want to fight in MMA and they want to race cars. | ||
| And then there's men who want to be florists. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I feel like that's gender role spectrum. | ||
| Like, my dad is like a really flamboyant opera singing. | ||
| Like, he's real fruity, you know? | ||
| And my mom is like six foot, loves sports, sweatpants, you know, crushes. | ||
| And it's like, but my mom is such a great woman and my dad's such a great dad. | ||
| And that's why sometimes, you know, my piano teacher got a sex change when I was 11. | ||
| So like, whoa, I've been thinking about this stuff for quite some time where I got to see the same person on different hormones as my, you know, and I'm a classical piano player. | ||
| Like, this is one of the most important people in my life that I'm still friends with. | ||
| And it's like, to see like it, you know, transition, you're like, oh, dudes are way different. | ||
| Just the way the behavior changed? | ||
| Oh, yeah, totally. | ||
| When it comes to like, you know, just, just, like what you're focusing on, your level of patience. | ||
| Well, he transitioned to a she? | ||
| She, yeah. | ||
| And on Halloween. | ||
| And I was like trying to work on a bit. | ||
| On Halloween? | ||
| Well, I was trying to work on a bit about that's like the best time to like make that hard turn because people think it's a costume. | ||
| And then by Thanksgiving, everyone's like, oh, this is real. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, if someone like Steve-O did it, right? | ||
| You'd be like, look, this is, I know what you're doing. | ||
| You're not getting me with this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a scam. | ||
| It would take forever. | ||
| He would not be accepted. | ||
| It would take like months before people knew it wasn't just a gag. | ||
| They're like, yeah, it's a five-year gag. | ||
| Like Tom Green. | ||
| That seems like something Tom Green could, you know, like almost get away with. | ||
| People are like, no, goddammit. | ||
| Have you ever seen a Tom Green show? | ||
| It's what he does. | ||
| Yeah, it's like fucking with us. | ||
| I'm boys with the Impractical Jokers, and I'm always wondering, like, if one of them really needs help in public, is everyone going to be like, it's Sal. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You know, because people will assume you're doing a joke, and you're like, no, but I'm not joking. | ||
| That's a real good point. | ||
| Because if you're choking on something, holy shit, dude. | ||
| That's a fucking good point. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's like a movie, man. | ||
| It's a plot for a movie, dude. | ||
| No way, bro. | ||
| So this could be like a big film, man. | ||
| I'm feeling it. | ||
| Bro, I think it's going to change the world. | ||
| Practical Joker goes out and has a life-threatening illness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then doesn't get rescued. | ||
| And because of that, realizes that practical jokes are wrong. | ||
| That's the moral of the story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What else is there? | ||
| Passion culture. | ||
| You got to have the cool black friend. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Practical Joker has the cool black friend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who keeps it real, but is relatable. | ||
| Should you have a gay neighbor or no? | ||
| I think everyone has to be gay. | ||
| Something has to happen, right? | ||
| No, they all have a gay dick once. | ||
| Like every year, like, remember we were talking about you get the new dick. | ||
| You get a new one. | ||
| Every now and then, every eight dicks is gay. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| So you know about the community. | ||
| Oh, like every eight ones. | ||
| You count them off. | ||
| Like a very specific number. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if people like did do that and then you came back gay this year. | ||
| Damn, this year I came back gay, bro. | ||
| It's my first time. | ||
| You've been straight all 30 years? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| All 30 years. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a good run. | ||
| It's a good run. | ||
| I'm looking forward to getting ripped. | ||
| I'm just hoping it's a seasonal thing. | ||
| You know, my uncle was gay for a year. | ||
| He had three gay dicks in a row. | ||
| He lost his wife, bro. | ||
| It's not funny, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, yeah, I'm my first gay dick. | |
| Where would that be? | ||
| We would have a whole different attitude. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| All these bigots that have a problem with gay people, that wouldn't exist. | ||
| It's like, yeah, Dale has to go away for a year. | ||
| He's got roller skates on. | ||
| He'll come back and be hateful again. | ||
| You know, there'd be kids in school. | ||
| Bro, let me tell you something. | ||
| No one in my family's ever got a gay dick. | ||
| I'm not getting a gay dick, bro. | ||
| It's like the guy who's losing a little bit of hair when he's in high school. | ||
| Listen to me, bro. | ||
| My fucking hair is fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one in my family's ever lost their hair. | ||
| Overcompensate, guy. | ||
| There's no gay dicks in my bloodline, dude. | ||
| It's all straight guys. | ||
| Listen, no one in my family is a serial killer, okay? | ||
| Like then you start revealing shit about yourself. | ||
| Like whatever you're insecure about, you like secretly are. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Damn, that's deep. | ||
| Well, sometimes I'll find myself hating on a group of people, and I'm like, something about me is that, or else I wouldn't care. | ||
| You know, like hipsters, I remember I always hated them. | ||
| I called them indoor cats. | ||
| And then I realized that hating hipster itself is a hipster move. | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| Where I'm like, no, dude, I was like that before hipsters. | ||
| And I'm like, holy fuck, a hipster would say that. | ||
| I could have easily been a hipster if they caught me. | ||
| I could have been a Scientology if I didn't know better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I mean, I just would have walked into the wrong door, took one of them personality tests and going, man, maybe I could get my shit together with these people. | ||
| Yeah, maybe I could be on one of these crazy, wacky levels. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| I could be a hipster. | ||
| I could have a weird mustache, a twisty mustache. | ||
| Yeah, it's like what Jordan Peterson talks about with the shadow self. | ||
| I could be like really into like micro beers. | ||
| Yeah, I could live out my life in 1820 in Austin, Texas. | ||
| I could wear really tight jeans and tell everyone I'm a photographer because I have an Instagram account of 300 followers. | ||
| Yeah, and they all have those shoes. | ||
| Do you know those uncomfortable looking, like Italian-looking shoes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like the shit Daniel Dave Lewis makes. | |
| It's like they go to like a cobbler. | ||
| Yeah, they get their shoes for you by a cobbler. | ||
| Yeah, hipster cobbler. | ||
| But there's something kind of cool about it, too. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like those shoes right there. | ||
| Those are total hipster shoes. | ||
| Jamie, you nailed it. | ||
| You goddamn nailed it. | ||
| That's the perfect shoe for a hipster. | ||
| Yeah, I think a low-cut one would be like a little bit more hipster-y, maybe. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Oh, that's a hipster shoe if I've ever seen one. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Dude, I'm two hard turns in my life away from wearing those shoes right now. | ||
| That's really called the hipster. | ||
| It's a John Varvatos star USA hipster. | ||
| Chuck a boot. | ||
| It's a Chucka boot. | ||
| I didn't even know that that was a thing until now. | ||
| Chucka boots. | ||
| What's a Chucka boot? | ||
| Isn't it weird when you see two Ks next to each other? | ||
| It makes you think it's racist. | ||
| Totally, it is now. | ||
| You can't do that anymore. | ||
| They should change this immediately. | ||
| I'm triggered. | ||
| I'm so triggered. | ||
| Everybody should be. | ||
| Like, we got real problems in this country. | ||
| It's not a joke anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that Charlottesville thing, that just showed everybody. | ||
| When you saw those guys walking down the street with those Citronella Home Depot torches, I was like, this is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Screaming White Lives Matter. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Like, you know who said it best, man? | ||
| I have a great quote. | ||
| Sturgil Simpson sent me this because he had an email exchange with Dr. Rick Strassman, who's the guy that wrote DMT, the spirit molecule. | ||
| And they had an email exchange. | ||
| He said, for starters, I would say, this is Rick Strassman saying this, that what we're seeing is a failure of the educational system. | ||
| This is due to faults within the system itself, as well as attacks on the system, that system from outside by forces and institutions that gain to benefit from ignorance and addiction. | ||
| Both religious faith and the love of community have degenerated into crude parodies of what they're capable of being. | ||
| Regarding where this is all heading, he says, my Zen teacher used to say that the force of good, this is what I thought was really interesting, the forces of good relative to the forces of evil are always around 50.1% versus 49.9%. | ||
| There's a similar notion in Judaism along these lines that the future of the world depends upon a single individual's actions. | ||
| And I think it says something like, paradoxical, like, we are a speck of dust and the fate of the universe hinges on us. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That quote right there, we are a speck of dust and in quotes, the fate of the universe hinges on us. | ||
| When I read that today, I was like, holy shit. | ||
| Like, that's so true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you see this right now, like, what's going on with Charlottesville and what's going on with the way Trump is reacting to it all and the way people reacting to it all. | ||
| People are digging in their heels and forming sides. | ||
| And this is any group, any group that wouldn't think that this is completely insane and totally out of control. | ||
| Any group of people that wouldn't think that someone driving a car into a group of protesters just randomly running over a girl, any group that wouldn't denounce that instantaneously as one of the most heinous things ever. | ||
| This is exactly what we're terrified of. | ||
| We see happening in Paris and in other parts of the world. | ||
| And here we have an American doing it. | ||
| And our differentiation is not even that we're being attacked. | ||
| The way we're looking at it in terms of it's white people and white nationalists versus Antifa, right? | ||
| We're not even looking at it like we're all Americans. | ||
| We're not even looking at it like we're all on the same team. | ||
| We're literally homegrowing terrorism. | ||
| That's a homegrown terrorist activity. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I mean, you're worried about al-Qaeda. | ||
| You worried about ISIS. | ||
| You're worried about the Taliban. | ||
| You've got something right here that is willing to drive a car into a random group of people that look just like him. | ||
| A bunch of white people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is completely fucking insane. | ||
| And the craziest part is they're not doing it to overthrow the yoke of empire. | ||
| It's not like Ireland back in the 70s with British control. | ||
| At least you can kind of be like, oh, they don't want to be controlled by the British. | ||
| These people are literally living in the most free country. | ||
| They're prosperous to the point of almost boredom where they start. | ||
| And I don't think Antifa realizes how much similarity they have to the people they claim to be fighting against. | ||
| It's a natural progression. | ||
| When you have extremely violent protests like these people happen, everybody ramps it up. | ||
| They ramp it up on the left. | ||
| They ramp it up on the right. | ||
| Everybody gets angry and this fucking asshole drives into a bunch of people. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| It's fucking awful. | ||
| And then Trump said, here's the thing. | ||
| All this happened because they were taking down a statue of Robert E. Lee, who's the leader of the Confederates, right? | ||
| Trump literally said today, what's next? | ||
| We're going to take down a statue of George Washington. | ||
| It's like, what? | ||
| That's a bit of a false equivalence there. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| How the fuck can he even say that? | ||
| Like, this is he's got some weird thing going on where he has to dance around his support for white supremacists or white nationalists. | ||
| He has to dance around it. | ||
| Which is weird because they're not that big of a group. | ||
| Like, it's not like, but if they're on your side, they're all on your side. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
10,000 people and it might be a lot more than you think, man. | |
| Might be a lot of closet racists out there. | ||
| I see so much similarities between like, you know, white racists and then like the social justice racists where it's like, it's just, it's usually like the white Nazis are like the losers trying to get something out of their skin. | ||
| And then social justice warriors, a lot of times, are trying to get something out of an oppressed, being in an oppressed status. | ||
| And both of those groups, I'm like, you're both trying to avoid merit. | ||
| Like you're both just trying to get something from your stupid group. | ||
| Because you never see like a Nazi as like good looking or successful. | ||
| They're always just like, I deserve some shit because I'm white. | ||
| And you're like, then That means you're weak as fuck. | ||
| I just think it's just a massive failure from the beginning to now of thinking. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
| Yeah, and just like the agenda thing, where it's like you start ignoring basic reality to get clicks or outrage culture. | ||
| Well, it's just not the way to go. | ||
| You should just join up with all white people like that. | ||
| It's just insane. | ||
| It's completely insane. | ||
| And even the concept of white is a new concept. | ||
| Like growing up, it's like, oh, you're Irish or Italian? | ||
| It's like, when did this fucking Federation kick off? | ||
| Well, we've been forced into this position by a thing called white privilege. | ||
| I don't know if you're aware of it. | ||
| I checked it on my way out. | ||
| Check yourself before you wreck yourself. | ||
| Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing is we're all human beings who migrated from Africa. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| We go back far enough, but we're not willing to go back farther. | ||
| We're like, we're stopping wherever the fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We got this accent from, and this is my homeland, and I'll defend it till my death. | |
| That guy's just that color because it never fucking, it's always, it's always cloudy. | ||
| Yeah, vitamin D. Never stops raining. | ||
| That's literally it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's why they're so pale. | ||
| They're trying to suck as much of the vitamin D out of the sky as they can. | ||
| Yeah, because like 2% couldn't get pussy because they died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They died from vitamin D. And that's how evolution works. | |
| They turn into paper, those people. | ||
| They're little goddamn solar panels just walking around sucking in the vitamin D. They're all Africans. | ||
| Irish people are Africans that just stayed in Ireland. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what they are. | ||
| That's what we all are. | ||
| It's just like a flash when we started separating, and it really has nothing to do with who we are as people. | ||
| I can see the criticism. | ||
| Yeah, you're one of those, bro. | ||
| I don't even see color people. | ||
| Those people, I don't even see color, bro. | ||
| And they'd be like, no, I am racist, but be like, listen, I don't want to be in my store, but I know we're equal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't even see color, man, except with the gay rainbow. | ||
| Yeah, just so I'm not into Raiders fans or, you know, Chinese food shoppers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I used to do a song where it was like, black dudes with more than one pit bull scare the shit out of me, but a black guy with a cell phone on his belt, I trust. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I would do it. | ||
| I would have the crowd yell out anyway. | ||
| You got a guy who works at Verizon. | ||
| Yeah, because it's all cultural signifiers. | ||
| And so I would have the crowd yell out anybody, you know, white people. | ||
| It's like white dudes with teardrop tattoos in Idaho scare the, you know. | ||
| And you just go through any race and you're like, look, it's always, it's that Chris Rock joke that I won't repeat because I have my privileged. | ||
| But like, there's this group and then there's this group. | ||
| And everybody knows which one are the dickheads and which one, not even dickheads, but from a position of like desperation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Depending on where you are in history. | ||
| If I walk by too many dudes that have their pants sagging, it's like more than two of them, I go, oh, these guys must make stupid decisions. | ||
| Yeah, bad decision guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you got like your, your pants like down, like to like the curve, the downward curve of your ass, it's riding the curve and I can see like a giant percentage in your underwear. | ||
| Yeah, one guy may have forgot a belt. | ||
| Two guys, they're hiding guns. | ||
| It's not even that. | ||
| It's just they're just making stupid decisions with their life for sure. | ||
| My brother judges people based on if they back into their spot or not. | ||
| Oh, if they can. | ||
| No, my brother's like, that guy didn't back in. | ||
| Doesn't give a shit about his family. | ||
| Like he'll make fucking jumps. | ||
| He's like, oh, so R, then D, if someone needs him, I just back in in case of emergencies. | ||
| He's like, that is a good move, actually. | ||
| He's right, but it's just intense that it judge people on that. | ||
| Yeah, but like I'm getting out if I can back out. | ||
| Like I'll still get out. | ||
| Like how much of an advantage? | ||
| I'd like to see like a test that shows how much of an advantage you have in a danger situation. | ||
| Like a half second. | ||
| Like was he being attacked by like a terrorist? | ||
| He should have probably a whole second. | ||
| Let me think. | ||
| You back out and then you take off. | ||
| You probably have like a good solid two or three seconds probably. | ||
| Yeah, that could save you. | ||
| Yeah, you know what? | ||
| You might be able to make a light or, you know, like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might be able to figure out. | ||
| Like someone's falling off a cliff and you just like that's like two seconds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I guess, yeah, if you're in a danger situation, then the real question is, like, how dangerous are we talking? | ||
| Do you have to decide? | ||
| Like, do you want to be one of those people that survives nuclear holocaust or do you want to be one of those people that dies in the initial blast? | ||
| Alone death with my friends and family survive. | ||
| If I was alone, like if it was The Road, that book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't read that book, but I watched a little bit of the movie up until he was teaching his son where to shoot himself in the mouth to kill himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, check, please. | ||
| That's some high-stake shit. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Yeah, I would have gone out with the blast. | ||
| It just seems like you don't want to cannibalize. | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| Stay alive. | ||
| You really don't. | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| You don't want to have to worry about people eating you either. | ||
| Bro, I'm scared of owls. | ||
| Like right now, imagine if you're constantly in threat of someone stealing everything you have. | ||
| Constantly. | ||
| Constantly. | ||
| Yeah, you're up in the middle of the night, cocked and ready to rock, looking out the window, always worried about invaders that might eat you. | ||
| Yeah, because I lost a bunch of chickens to a raccoon and a fox recently, and it dawned on me that stakes of life where I'm like, if I needed those eggs, like I'm fucking dead. | ||
| He killed nine of them in one night. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And I was like, one mistake, like one hole in the thing. | ||
| They drink the blood, right? | ||
| Is that what they do? | ||
| The raccoons? | ||
| They bite their neck and drink their blood? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| They took the bodies. | ||
| They did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's why I think there was a fox involved. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Wow, there's a whole party going on. | ||
| You're chicken kids. | ||
| Dude, it was crazy. | ||
| So we stayed up the next night with air rifles and shot a raccoon and a fox because they came back. | ||
| Oh, they did. | ||
| It was like a Disney movie. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| Air rifle, huh? | ||
| What kind? | ||
| Just one you get it like Ace. | ||
| It was just. | ||
| The hardware store one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So did it kill him or just hurt? | ||
| I was just trying to set a tone. | ||
| Like, I wasn't looking to take him out. | ||
| I was looking to be like, listen, don't kill the girls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interesting. | |
| Because I can't legally shoot a gun in my area, even though I'm in the country. | ||
| Time to go walk in dead style, son. | ||
| Get yourself a crossbow. | ||
| Yeah, I got a bow, but I'm not accurate yet. | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem. | ||
| It takes a long time to learn how to get accurate with a bow. | ||
| I would recommend a crossbow and a nice rest. | ||
| What a crossbow is, is basically a shitty gun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a gun that shoots bolts. | ||
| I mean, it just doesn't... | ||
| I mean, you've got a trigger. | ||
| So all you have to do is just squeeze that sucker off and put the crosshairs on it. | ||
| And they fly really flat and really fast. | ||
| You know, you could fuck up a fox with one of those if you were so inclined. | ||
| I am inclined. | ||
| Well, if he keeps killing your chickens, you should definitely try to scare it off. | ||
| I mean, there's other options, too. | ||
| You can take urine. | ||
| They'll sell like mountain lion urine and even wolf urine. | ||
| I was kissing on it. | ||
| It doesn't work, dude. | ||
| They're like, it smells like vitamins. | ||
| Oh, he eats bananas. | ||
| He's been drunk for a week. | ||
| He's so dehydrated. | ||
| He's not going to do anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Get out of here. | ||
| Yeah, if you have different kinds of animals that get scared off by different kinds of scents. | ||
| Yeah, I got to get a scent. | ||
| Oh, man, get some wolf piss. | ||
| They sell that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wolf piss. | |
| They do. | ||
| They really sell it. | ||
| They sell all kinds of different animal piss to ward off other animals. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Like hawk piss? | ||
| I don't think that works. | ||
| I don't think it works with raptors. | ||
| I think it's more of a mammal thing. | ||
| I don't know if raptors piss on stuff. | ||
| That'd be interesting if they did. | ||
| I know mammals do. | ||
| A lot of dogs and cats piss on shit to mark their ground. | ||
| Yeah, because it's like birds are like raptors. | ||
| They're fucking. | ||
| Using that word just changed my fucking whole opinion. | ||
| They're fucking gangster. | ||
| They're so predatory. | ||
| They're so ruthless, too. | ||
| Yeah, I used to work at a dock and I'd feed ducks bread and just watch them fucking destroy each other. | ||
| Oh, bite each other, stealing bread from each other. | ||
| That's why when a girl does a duck face, I instinctively throw bread at them. | ||
| So let's go back to that Google memo thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because this is one of the weird lines in the sand that got crossed with this, is that everybody, I mean, everybody established a line in the sand, I should say. | ||
| And it was like, you either thought that memo was the worst thing you've ever read ever, and that guy's a misogynist piece of shit. | ||
| Or you said, well, yeah, evolutionary psychology sort of tries to explain why people choose certain things and like what factors, what factors are environmental, what factors are hormonal, what factors have to do with being a male, what factors have to do with being a female. | ||
| And there's like a lot of studies. | ||
| And that guy cited a lot of studies. | ||
| He talked, like, it was a really interesting thing. | ||
| The only thing that I think people could find derogatory maybe is that he said the women are more neurotic. | ||
| Neurotic is sort of a derogatory term, right? | ||
| Actually, a derogatory term, right? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Neurotic is like saying that you're not handling something good. | ||
| You're not handling whatever pressures. | ||
| You're neurotic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I would be calm. | ||
| It's implying that another person handling that same situation, perhaps even male, would be more calm. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like very aware would be the nice way of saying it. | ||
| Because my wife has a lot of anxiety, but once we had a baby, I was like, oh, this is why. | ||
| Because you're responsible for this little alien that can die. | ||
| Totally makes sense. | ||
| But the thing that guy said that when people would argue with me about it, I'd be like, so do you think men and women are the same? | ||
| And from there, I don't care if they're an expert, if they say there is no difference at all. | ||
| I'm like, my mom had her PhD and quit to raise us as soon as she had her baby. | ||
| My wife stays home with our son, was an engineer. | ||
| It's like, that isn't saying that there aren't rock star female engineers that have no interest in having a child. | ||
| All it does is affect the percentage. | ||
| And that's all he's saying is equality of outcome versus opportunity is really the debate. | ||
| And I'm very against equality of outcome because the legal precedent of that is insane. | ||
| Well, it becomes a real issue. | ||
| Like you have to find out, okay, what is the actual suppression? | ||
| What is stopping people from getting to this position that happen to be female? | ||
| Is it because they're being suppressed along the way? | ||
| Is it because the way they interact with each other is different than the way men interact with each other? | ||
| And so when men interact with them, they get upset by it. | ||
| There's different rules that have to be established in these working environments. | ||
| Is it that they don't want to have anything to do with that and they would rather not compete in one of those hostile, male-driven environments? | ||
| Is that why they choose not to get involved? | ||
| Or is someone stopping them? | ||
| Is someone saying, hey, we got to keep chicks out of here. | ||
| I don't like chicks. | ||
| It would completely depend on what's actually happening. | ||
| And if the latter's happening, well, then you got a real issue. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But if the former, like the very beginning one, if it's just they choose different stuff? | ||
| Ironically, it hurts women the most. | ||
| The very qualified ones with the job, people start looking at them like, oh, because they're women, even though programming itself was founded by a chick. | ||
| But I don't think that's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like some of my buddies saw it was coming on. | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| COBOL? | ||
| Lovelace. | ||
| Yeah, it's like it's not discluding, it's not saying that women can't do it. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| It's not saying less women are interested in doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So if you have an equal number of men and women, then you probably like artificially inflated the number of women. | ||
| Doesn't that make sense? | ||
| Unless, for some reason, women gravitate towards that thing in just as high a percentage as men do, which is really odd. | ||
| There's not a lot of things where women gravitate towards it with the same percentage of people. | ||
| It's the same, like, like, like, I'm sure there's a lot of fields of study. | ||
| I know, particularly nursing and I think a lot of the social studies that women gravitate towards in higher numbers, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Like, like nursing, healthcare, even, I think even physicians. | ||
| I think there's more female physicians. | ||
| Maybe that's bullshit. | ||
| Maybe I read that from some. | ||
| Yeah, like teaching children. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Women gravitate more to. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's got to be a ton of different jobs that females gravitate towards in higher percentages. | ||
| We absolutely shouldn't insist that there's an equal representation of men in florists. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And in, you know, in interior design. | ||
| My brother's a lumberjack. | ||
| One woman worked with us one time and she was from Yale and probably doing a whole thing. | ||
| And couldn't, well, I don't know, but couldn't climb a tree. | ||
| And like some women for sure could. | ||
| But if you're going like these dudes go up 200-foot trees and spend all day like chopping them down, it's like that isn't going to draw 50% women. | ||
| It just isn't. | ||
| Here's what's the most hilarious thing about the Google memo: it upset so many women that they had to take time off. | ||
| Proving the point. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| They wanted time off so bad that they went for it. | ||
| They want to play the victim so hard that they went for it, not even understanding that it proves the point of the most skeptical people. | ||
| The most skeptical people on the side of like, I don't know if these chicks are going to be able to pull their own weight. | ||
| I don't know if these chicks are going to... | ||
| Yeah, from a memo. | ||
| I can't handle this. | ||
| From a memo that was nice. | ||
| Somebody talked about evolutionary psychology, and I just can't handle it. | ||
| I need time away from work. | ||
| I'm being attacked. | ||
| I did a song because they said it was time for a female James Bond. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, jeez. | |
| And I was like, I called her 0077 cents on the dollar. | ||
| And one of the, it was Jane Bond. | ||
| She's open to hyphenation. | ||
| And then one of the lines is in need of a vacation. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Because it's like, if you take Jane, you can have a female spy. | ||
| It's just going to be different tactics. | ||
| You can't have a male Wonder Woman. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We need rules. | ||
| You can't have a female James Bond. | ||
| Make your own fucking detective. | ||
| You can't be James Bond. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's a God. | ||
| And I'm cool with Black Santa. | ||
| I am too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that's I think Megyn Kelly was out of line. | |
| She was out of line. | ||
| But theoretically, why the fuck would he be black if he was living up in the North Pole? | ||
| He'd be white as shit. | ||
| That's the whole point of the artist. | ||
| It's magic. | ||
| There's no goddamn sun up there. | ||
| It's freezing cold. | ||
| Yeah, black. | ||
| Bickets outside. | ||
| There could be black Santa, but he would die of rickets. | ||
| Well, I don't think that would be the case, but I think he would have a real issue getting some vitamin D. He would. | ||
| He'd have to go get it somewhere. | ||
| Maybe some supplements. | ||
| Yeah, his spine would get all fucked up. | ||
| Telling them elves. | ||
| Hook me up, dude. | ||
| You know, when you're building little toy trains and shit, go build me some fucking vitamin D, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, the D elves. | ||
| Use that Christmas magic, right? | ||
| Make Santa some vitamin D. I can't work, dude. | ||
| Yeah, and then they always bring, they bring blow, too, because Santa's got to stay up for two straight days. | ||
| Santa does Adderall like crazy. | ||
| Just rampages. | ||
| Listens to only techno, only house music while he's making toys. | ||
| Crunch time is like, you know, all through December, he's frantic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Popping Adderall. | ||
| Can't sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then, and then like, and everyone's like, why are the presents alphabetical? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's like, oh, fuck. | |
| Got to be alphabetical. | ||
| Oh, he's organized. | ||
| He over organized. | ||
| Santa went crazy. | ||
| They went way crazy. | ||
| But yeah, it's like, if you say that there has to be an equal outcome, you're going to sacrifice quality. | ||
| I wonder what jobs there would be where you have, if you have 100 men and 100 women, what jobs would you have to be where you had an equal number of men and an equal number of women that are interested in those jobs out of 100? | ||
| Like, what job would that be? | ||
| What do you think would be? | ||
| Other than, like, famous. | ||
| I want to be famous. | ||
| What about high school teacher? | ||
| I feel like we're on family feud. | ||
| Do I have high school teacher? | ||
| I go to the Richard Dawson family feud, by the way. | ||
| No disrespect, Steve Harvey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If I remember Steve Dawson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Serve Aces! | |
| That guy would always kind of like grab people a little. | ||
| Like, Richard Dawson? | ||
| He's probably drunk. | ||
| Yeah, he'd like put his hands on people. | ||
| He'd be like, there's only 15 of those. | ||
| Hey, here's a guy. | ||
| He was in a fucking Nazi comedy. | ||
| He was a goddamn Nazi comedy. | ||
| He was in Hogan's Heroes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a goddamn Nazi comedy. | ||
| I gotta hear that. | ||
| He existed less than 30 years after the war. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| It's like I love Lucy, but Auschwitz. | ||
| Like, what's that pitch like? | ||
| Let's ask the question. | ||
| What year do you think Hogan's Heroes came out? | ||
| I want to say it was in the 70s. | ||
| And the war ended in 47, correct? | ||
| When was Hogan's Heroes? | ||
| 65? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, that's less than 20 years after the war was over. | |
| They had a goddamn comedy about the war. | ||
| Do you think that's gallows humor? | ||
| Like, it affected so many people that they had this, like, impulse to mock it? | ||
| Well, I think people were tougher back then. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And they could joke around about shit more. | ||
| Hence, Archie Bunker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which would be literally impossible to have today. | ||
| The amount of outrage if someone tried to make a character like Archie Bunker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| He was wearing a fucking, remember he had to pretend to be a Nazi at one point in time, snuck in? | ||
| There's so much horror today and so much anger at even racist characters in fiction. | ||
| If you have a racist character in fiction, people are angry at you. | ||
| Like, there's a bunch of what's young, what's young fiction? | ||
| Like, young boy. | ||
| There's a category that they use, but there's this very popular book, and it's being attacked by all these social justice warriors because of this one character that's racist. | ||
| And so someone took the racist quotes that this character said and took them completely out of context, out of the context of the book, and published it in a blog and was saying, like, look at this racist bullshit that's in this book. | ||
| And then people were getting like really mad at the, of course, they never read the book. | ||
| They just read the blog, which is what people do. | ||
| And so they got super fucking mad. | ||
| And it just became this huge thing. | ||
| Like, wait, wait a minute. | ||
| You're saying you can't have a monster in a book? | ||
| Can you have a guy who's a murderer? | ||
| Because if we can't do that, I need to know where the fucking line is, man. | ||
| I can't make a book about a serial killer. | ||
| Oh, I can. | ||
| Okay, but he can't be racist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, got it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Can I make a book about a guy who brings people back from the dead and they kill a bunch of people? | ||
| Like, ah, can I do that? | ||
| I can. | ||
| Okay, but he can't be racist. | ||
| He can't discriminate against Chinese people. | ||
| He can't discriminate. | ||
| If he uses the wrong pronoun, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Imagine how fucking stupid you have to be. | ||
| That's a black witch. | ||
| Right now, I'd be called Dr. Jekyll. | ||
| Like, if you forget Hyde, you don't learn. | ||
| Like, like, My mom was teaching a class once, and she was like, They took N-word Jim out of Huckleberry Finn. | ||
| Yeah, they did. | ||
| You took that word out. | ||
| You can't know a time unless you know the characters from that time, you know? | ||
| And it's giving people a real disservice to just emasculate and neuter our history so that everybody can't see what real dangers are. | ||
| Like what just happened in Charlottesville? | ||
| Like, all the people that called Dave Rubin a Nazi now have to use the same word for these people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, exactly. | |
| And it's like now it has no meaning. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very good point. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's really important to not overreact to people that don't have the exact same opinion as you. | ||
| Now, when something like this happens, you realize, okay, that's what you should react to. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| You got a bunch of douchebags with a fucking, with torches from Home Depot or wherever the fuck they got this. | ||
| Those are those Citronella court. | ||
| People have them in like the suburbs. | ||
| They have like a tiki party or something. | ||
| Dude, I was good. | ||
| I was going to buy some, and now I can't. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Like, I was literally going to, like, I like those torches for killing mosquitoes. | ||
| And I was thinking about it. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not going to buy those now because it's Charlottesville. | ||
| And all these guys, I mean, if any of those people that are into that are listening, I'm not even upset at you. | ||
| As a human, you get trapped into patterns of thinking. | ||
| I'm upset at that pattern. | ||
| I'm upset that this is a repeated, repeating pattern that's happened through human history where people decide that there's specific groups that somehow or another deserve preferential treatment or are better or superior or should dominate over other groups. | ||
| It's stupid and it's bad for business. | ||
| It's bad for the business of being human beings. | ||
| It gets in the way. | ||
| You're judging people on nonsense and you get to all be in the group just because you have similar skin color. | ||
| That's fucking stupid. | ||
| You're allowing a bunch of losers in your group then because your only differentiation is that they have to be white. | ||
| That is insanely stupid. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| You're going to miss out on all the cool black people. | ||
| You're going to miss out on all the cool Cubans and all the cool Puerto Ricans. | ||
| You're going to miss out on them. | ||
| And you're going to think that you have some family in this idea that you all have Nordic roots or something like that. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| I understand if you run into people that are black and they're racist against white people and you feel like white people have to protect themselves. | ||
| If you get in one of those situations, and those situations are real, they can happen. | ||
| Racism can occur on both sides. | ||
| And it's another disingenuous thing that the left is doing, is accepting this idea that you can only be racist if you're white. | ||
| Because that's a racist statement. | ||
| It's so racist. | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| But this is something that people were, I think they've kind of let it go for most recently, like out there in the Twitter sphere. | ||
| But for a good long time, it was a defensible argument that a black person couldn't be racist because racism is all about power and black people don't have power over white people. | ||
| Like, well, that is, you're changing the word. | ||
| You're changing the fucking word and you're going to empower actual racists. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And it's like no one, you don't know Nazis till you know Treaty of Versailles and you don't know this until you like, you know, just over shaming always has a springboard effect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like always. | |
| Like after World War I, it's the same with like, you know, the shamed gay guy is the one that like hates gay people, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's like shame is a horrible thing in people. | ||
| And so World War I, blood on all hands. | ||
| You know, that was started and executed for very bizarre reasons. | ||
| They blame Germany for all of it to the point where they destroyed Germany and then they were looking for a voice that gave them hope and that voice is insane. | ||
| And so that happens, that happened in this where it's like, dear white people, being white, you should just say sorry all the fucking time, even though your people came in 1904. | ||
| Well, you can see it today in the people that never criticize Trump and have like exclamation points and they write MAGA after all their tweets, no matter what Trump does, no matter what Trump says. | ||
| It's always amazing. | ||
| Everything's always perfect. | ||
| Like, okay, well, I see what you're doing because you're not really thinking. | ||
| You're not really thinking. | ||
| You got a fucking team. | ||
| You're go, Raiders. | ||
| Let's go, Raiders. | ||
| You're let's go Trump. | ||
| Like, well, now this is not, this is not healthy. | ||
| This is not a normal way to discuss super important issues. | ||
| When Trump said today that, like, what's next? | ||
| They're going to take down a statue of George Washington? | ||
| It's like they took down a statue of Robert E. And everybody's forgotten, what's next? | ||
| We're going to take down a statue of George Washington. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Yeah, that's like when the word normalizing actually fits. | ||
| You know, like all these things that have been so flooded, that is normalizing something terrible. | ||
| But it's like so crazy. | ||
| You can't compare George fucking Washington with Robert E. Lee is actually a problem. | ||
| But the left is like over-pointed out problems to the point where no one, like you can't have your, you don't trust your instincts right now. | ||
| Where you're like, if I say this, does this make me racist? | ||
| It's like, what, that it's 80 degrees outside? | ||
| How is that linked? | ||
| You know, and also I think anybody coming in and deciding to do something is a problem. | ||
| You know, like people coming in and deciding to take down a statue. | ||
| That statue is a symbol to a lot of people, and a lot of people step in and say, hey, this is it. | ||
| I think there should be some sort of real, prolonged, intelligent conversation about what that statue means and have it in a way where a bunch of people can see it and have it represented on both sides. | ||
| Have it represented by the side of people that think it's a good idea to keep it up and have it represented on the side of someone who thinks it's a good idea to move on and maybe we should take this thing and put it in some sort of a war museum and not having it represent the goddamn Confederate soldiers in the middle of this town that's not Confederate. | ||
| The war is gone because you're holding on to this idea that your team lost a battle and that there's an invading army that's in with you right now. | ||
| No, we're all Americans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| This is old, old, old shit. | ||
| 1860 shit. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let it go, stupid. | ||
| Let's take this down and let's put up a goddamn glorious kid rock tattoo style ego with a fucking flag behind it. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Do you really love America? | ||
| Let's take down the Robert E. Lee and put a hulking American ego with a fucking flag blowing in the wind. | ||
| Just cash. | ||
| And then underneath it, have a gigantic plaque of everybody that lost their lives in the last two wars over the last 20 years. | ||
| Have that. | ||
| Yeah, I think a lot of it is how it's being represented, too. | ||
| Is it like a glorious statue or is it just a relic of history? | ||
| I think the debate is. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No, I haven't either. | ||
| Let's look at it. | ||
| Find out what's the statue of Robert E. Lee that they were taking down. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| What if he was like, found out he was like banging a slave? | ||
| Oh, that's it? | ||
| Torch-wielding protesters rally a Confederate statue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can we go large on that, buddy? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a beautiful piece of art. | ||
| You know, I mean, much like when you look at Genghis Khan, it's a beautiful piece of art. | ||
| You know, you look at some of the statues and things that they constructed from back in his day. | ||
| You know, you think about it. | ||
| You go, wow, this is a guy at war. | ||
| Yeah, who killed 5% of the earth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Something even crazier. | ||
| I think he killed like 10% of the world's population while he was alive. | ||
| Yeah, this is a tough one. | ||
| Because that is a rebel army we lost, so that should be taken down. | ||
| But at the same time, it's like... | ||
| Then do the natives, Americans tell people to take down Washington? | ||
| Then you start getting in a battle of like, well, this person wronged my people. | ||
| And it's like, at what point is it with this one? | ||
| I think that it's a valid argument to take it down because it was a rebel army in a rebel army in the country that it's still in. | ||
| But at the same time, it's like, it's a slippery slope of erasing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, I don't think you should have it in your state capitol, wherever the fuck that is. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| State capitol building? | ||
| Oh, well, that's a no-brainer. | ||
| It represents that's state. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I don't know where it is. | ||
| See if you could pull it up again, just so we know what the fuck we're talking about. | ||
| I think that was kind of like, I think it was like a state building. | ||
| Like, it was a big deal. | ||
| That's how I felt about Confederate flag. | ||
| I'm like, obviously take it off state buildings, justices. | ||
| Well, it's still a part of a few different flags. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That to me crosses that line where you're like, oh, well, now you're incorporating it into the government that a lot of people associate with like valid social issues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, to this day, I think it's on Mississippi's. | ||
| That's very intense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's in Emancipation Park in front of their courthouse. | ||
| In front of the courthouse. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Man, that's a bit of a tone. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| I mean, you got to get that guy out of there. | ||
| Look, I think for sure we should keep it. | ||
| I mean, I don't think they should destroy it. | ||
| Just like I don't think they should destroy, you know, if there's a statue of Mao somewhere. | ||
| I don't think they should destroy it. | ||
| I think we should look at it and hold on to it so that future generations can look back and go, wow. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| That Berlin Wall. | ||
| Like those little pieces to be like, people fucking split the world in two at one point. | ||
| And if we forget that, we start doing this live-action role-play until someone gets hit by a car. | ||
| Well, we want better, right? | ||
| So we want better, so we pretend that better already exists or is possible if we force people to behave the way we want. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, there's a bunch of different ways where people try to achieve better. | ||
| You know, and they're not all smart. | ||
| Because a lot of them are based on how you feel right now and what you want to change. | ||
| So you try to be forceful. | ||
| But like the bounce back thing we're talking about, it doesn't really work like that. | ||
| When you push too hard at people and you don't respect them, even if they're as ridiculous as a white nationalist, when you push at them, and why do I say it's ridiculous if you're asking? | ||
| Because it's all ridiculous. | ||
| I think being a black nationalist is ridiculous too. | ||
| I think it's all ridiculous. | ||
| I think you should be a human being. | ||
| And just because you enjoy black culture doesn't mean you have to be racist. | ||
| You can enjoy Chinese people just as much. | ||
| We can all just be cool with each other. | ||
| But this idea that there's like one superior race is insane. | ||
| We are all interconnected in some very bizarre way and we help each other. | ||
| And that's what culture is. | ||
| That's what civilization is. | ||
| The reason why it all works so well is that we're all intertwined with each other, learning from each other, trying to figure out how to navigate this thing together, competing with each other, improving upon whatever the fuck it is we're working on because of the competition from all sorts of different parts of the world, different cultures and behavior patterns and levels of aggression, levels of intellect, and all of us combined in some sort of a swarming soup of innovation and ideas and communication and trying to figure this thing out together. | ||
| And as soon as you just lump it all up to white people only, like, get the fuck out of here with that old stupid idea. | ||
| That's a stupid idea. | ||
| Yeah, and that's why I'm so anti-PC and cultural appropriation stuff because those are the mechanisms to share. | ||
| Where it's like, it's not because I'm white and I don't want people to get credit for whatever they've. | ||
| It's saying, how do we, you know, there's no quote that when goods, when goods stop going across borders, armies go across borders. | ||
| Where it's like, if culture is coming together and sharing and developing and everything you just said is necessary for multiculturalism. | ||
| And so if you say, I can't wear a sombrero because I'm a white guy, even though I'm, you know. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| As long as you're not being an asshole about it, you're just having fun. | ||
| What's the big deal? | ||
| And who needs that brim? | ||
| White guys. | ||
| Yeah, pale as fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Mexicans have a nice dark complexion. | ||
| They can handle it. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Jews have no brim. | ||
| Dude, very good. | ||
| Very important point. | ||
| Mexicans and Jews should switch hats. | ||
| Some of the super Orthodox ones, they have the crazy brim, right? | ||
| Yeah, they're like cheese heads with fur. | ||
| Oh, that's a different one, right? | ||
| That's a different one. | ||
| That's a different kind of hat they wear. | ||
| I've seen that one. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird one. | ||
| It's like part of West Hollywood has a bunch of those hats. | ||
| Yeah, that's an interesting thing about Hollywood. | ||
| When you drive, there's certain neighborhoods you go down to that are all Orthodox Jews, or at least a high volume of them. | ||
| So you see them with the strings that hang down from their belt. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Ari Shavir used to rock those. | ||
| Those things? | ||
| Oh, yeah, you had the whole garb. | ||
| That's so intense. | ||
| There those dudes are. | ||
| There's the hat. | ||
| Yeah, it's like cheese head. | ||
| That is some ancient shit that that culture's clinging to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What is bananas? | ||
| Like, when do they say no more? | ||
| Like, you know, what year are they like, all right, we're 18-15 guys? | ||
| Well, as long as you can keep together. | ||
| I mean, this is a nice representation of what we're talking about, non-integration. | ||
| You know, if you keep together in your own little community and only cohabitate with your own, you keep this thing going as long as you can, and that's what they're doing right now. | ||
| That's the irony of lack of oppression sometimes. | ||
| I was talking to these gay dudes in Houston recently, and they were like almost bummed that everyone loves gay people so much because they don't feel as unified. | ||
| They're like, we used to have a bar. | ||
| And I'm like, you can still have the bar, man. | ||
| You just now have the Bravo channel, too. | ||
| Yeah, but guys go in the bar now. | ||
| Like straight guys will go into gay bars and girls. | ||
| Girls fucking love gay bars. | ||
| They go to gay bars. | ||
| And that's why straight guys go there sometimes because girls are together. | ||
| They just go to a gay guys' bar. | ||
| Straight guys, like they fucking weasel in on gay girls or drunk straight girls, rather. | ||
| They deal with it. | ||
| Like, it doesn't even matter if you touch it. | ||
| I don't give shy. | ||
| I don't even feel anything. | ||
| I don't feel shit. | ||
| Even when I'm coming, I don't feel it. | ||
| Or it also shows they're so open-minded. | ||
| He goes to the gay bar. | ||
| I love that he's so confident. | ||
| Yeah, and women will go there vulnerable sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| So it's like, it's like, I've just got a relationship and I want to just talk and not be hit on because I'm so vulnerable. | ||
| And then some dude's like, look at my fanny pack. | ||
| There's a dick in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I also love fanny packs, by the way. | ||
| It's like that Mickey Rourke game that he did in Diner. | ||
| Remember the movie Diner? | ||
| He put his dick through the hole in the bottom of the bucket of popcorn. | ||
| Seem bat his friend that she would grab his dick. | ||
| And he's like, no fucking way. | ||
| And so he put his dick through the popcorn and then had it sit on his lap and she reached in and grabbed it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But what if she didn't realize it was his dick and just pulled up? | ||
| Just yanked it. | ||
| And broke it off. | ||
| Like when you were yanking off that chimpanzee. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There's a scene. | ||
| That's back when Mickey Mork is a beautiful man. | ||
| Can you imagine that scene now? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I was just going to say. | ||
| It's rape. | ||
| That's essentially rape. | ||
| I mean, you can't do that. | ||
| You can't force someone to be intimate with you and trick them. | ||
| If someone's intimate with you, don't even play that on this show. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| This is rape culture. | ||
| You shut that off right now. | ||
| Just for us. | ||
| Too hot. | ||
| Yeah, like when I was a kid, it was so different that I have to train myself to not be like, you should see how crazy shit can get. | ||
| Like, there used to be dudes just whacking off in the street. | ||
| It was like weird. | ||
| Did they really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You saw dudes whacking off in the street? | ||
| Well, there was one dude in the middle school woods who would just chase everyone whacking off. | ||
| And it was like you'd tell your parents. | ||
| Like you'd tell your parents and your parents are like, yeah, you can brush that one off. | ||
| That's not their crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can brush that one off. | |
| That was an actual wiener right there. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think she hasn't grabbed it yet. | ||
| There's a lot of drama in this movie. | ||
| It's a slow burn. | ||
| People wouldn't even have time for that today. | ||
| People are so Twitterified. | ||
| Everybody's like, oh, there she goes. | ||
| She grabbed it and she's mad and she got up to leave. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| She's outraged. | ||
| But then when you pull the ween out, all the popcorn just falls in your lap. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to be... | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| She's going to grab a... | ||
| That was really subtly good acting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he was like, whoa. | ||
| It was terrible acting. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I really liked it. | ||
| The editing was bad. | ||
| There's obviously two takes, too. | ||
| Two different. | ||
| That did get a lot of coverage. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, this happened, but this happened before this app. | ||
| I was like, why are you showing it like that? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like, we got to get plenty of coverage. | ||
| He almost had a replay, like a half a second replay. | ||
| Yeah, man, you can't do that anymore. | ||
| Couldn't have that in a movie. | ||
| No. | ||
| Probably for good. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But why not? | ||
| I'm wrestling with that, too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If it's fiction, right, there are people like that that can exist. | ||
| Like, we were talking about murderers. | ||
| Are you allowed to have monsters and murderers? | ||
| Are you allowed to show movies about war? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, if you are, how come you can't have a rapist in a movie? | ||
| But you obviously can. | ||
| Is it in good taste? | ||
| Is it something people want to see? | ||
| Well, won't the market dictate that? | ||
| You know, like, I don't know if you should be able to say that we're allowed to have murderers in a movie, but we're not allowed to have rapists. | ||
| Yeah, it's got to be market. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like I don't want to see people get raped, but I don't know that you should be able to tell someone they can't do that. | ||
| Or they can't write it up. | ||
| And it always ends bad. | ||
| That's the draw of socialism. | ||
| It's narcissism where someone goes, if I had control, everyone would be better. | ||
| And then even if that guy's awesome, the next guy's Stalin. | ||
| Well, that's the thing is like these, these kind of, like we're talking about the statue, having a long conversation. | ||
| Like you have to have conversations about this kind of shit. | ||
| Like, should you want to read about rape? | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| But should you be able to put whatever the fuck you want into whatever it is that it's your creation? | ||
| I mean, you're sitting there and you're writing out a story that you're manipulating with your imagination. | ||
| You're putting it all together. | ||
| You should be able to have horrific characters that everyone is terrified of, that people are trying to get away from. | ||
| If that includes rapists or murderers or whoever the fuck it is, if you're trying to tell a terrifying tale in a book, you can't be hindered. | ||
| You can't be stopped. | ||
| Like, we have to be really careful about what we're saying here. | ||
| Well, we're submitting will to someone that doesn't have our best interests. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Because no one really cares that much, I don't think. | ||
| I think they care, but I don't think they're thinking. | ||
| I think it's more of a not thinking about this. | ||
| Like, it doesn't, just because someone has a book about rapists doesn't mean people are going to rape more. | ||
| It's like if there's a book about, you know, people that are murderers, they're not going to go out and murder more. | ||
| You know, like that's, I don't, I don't believe that that's valid. | ||
| I think when you're talking about fiction, and again, I don't want to read about it, but I don't want you to be able to tell people that they can't write about certain things. | ||
| That seems to me like way over the line. | ||
| Like way over the line. | ||
| Yeah, because then you can't do critical government stuff. | ||
| It's the legal precedent that's set that then makes the craziest shit possible. | ||
| Where it's like, oh, this is words are violence. | ||
| These words are violence. | ||
| I'm raped. | ||
| Now no one can say like, our new president is horrible. | ||
| You know, like now you can't even show dissent. | ||
| It's all just a way to tighten the screws. | ||
| Well, don't you think that people on the left, though, are showing dissent more than like violent dissent towards the president? | ||
| Like really like angry, like in a way that I can't remember anybody doing towards Obama. | ||
| No, to the point where it freaks me out. | ||
| Like they're like it's weird. | ||
| Well, I didn't, I wasn't obviously traveling in the right circles, like for people that are really angry at Obama. | ||
| But even the people that I saw online that are angry at him, they're calling him incompetent or a fool or spending all of our money and all these different accusations. | ||
| But not like what I'm seeing with Trump. | ||
| Like I'm seeing just like flat out insults from famous people all the time. | ||
| Yeah, in the media. | ||
| I don't get why people totally trust the media. | ||
| It's like you'll see them misrepresent something in such an egregious way. | ||
| And my dad is a rhetoric professor. | ||
| So it's like he teaches a class in propaganda. | ||
| This is like my whole childhood is learning about this shit. | ||
| And so I'm watching CNN. | ||
| I'm like, you motherfuckers, you know exactly. | ||
| Like you can misrepresent things so egregiously that I'm like, of course no one's going to trust you. | ||
| And by the way, no problem, right? | ||
| And it's not that you don't wish that they were correct, right? | ||
| It's that in them lying, even if you're on their side more than you're on the Fox News side, if CNN lies even a little, then it's fuel for the other side and it vastly diminishes the impact that you can have because you're not trustworthy anymore. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's all you have in news now is trustworthiness because everyone can manipulate and Photoshop. | ||
| Now that audio Photoshop. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It's like you have to just trust people. | ||
| I can't trust anybody though. | ||
| It's a real issue. | ||
| And an issue with the left being so hyperbolic, it's like when Trump was first elected, I was like, oh, this sucks. | ||
| Trump's crazy. | ||
| And then I saw their reaction and I almost like triaged it. | ||
| I was like, wait a minute, what's crazier? | ||
| The guy that may like text a dictator is dick or like people like saying that democracy is bad. | ||
| And I'm like, this is a weird battle. | ||
| Well, it's certainly not the result that people wanted, right? | ||
| Like a lot of people. | ||
| And so having him there, they're super frustrated. | ||
| And all the things that they see happening, people are super frustrated. | ||
| And they don't know what to do. | ||
| And so the feeling is that you should somehow or another protest and riot. | ||
| And like the people that got in front of Trump Tower because of his reaction to Charlottesville, people are super upset at his reaction. | ||
| I think that was a big one when he said that, you know, that something about despicable acts and violence on all sides. | ||
| Yeah, see, that was crazy that he did that. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I mean, that's like, okay. | ||
| One, you have people that are fighting and whoever side you're on, okay? | ||
| Whether you're the side that wants to keep the statue up and you want white people to get their respect, or whether you're on the side that thinks that you guys are a bunch of racists and call yourself white nationals all day, you're a bunch of Nazis, like whichever side it is. | ||
| I don't know which side you're on. | ||
| But as soon as someone goes driving a fucking car into all those people and you find out that guy is a Nazi or that guy is a Nazi sympathizer or whatever he is, a white nationalist, you got to go, look, this thinking is shit-brained. | ||
| Shit-brained. | ||
| That you think you could just drive a car into a group of people, including a girl. | ||
| You killed a girl with a car? | ||
| Yeah, it's who crosses the line in a violence. | ||
| I was a hacker. | ||
| It's just violence, random violence on terrorists. | ||
| No look in the eye, no interaction with them, stomping on the gas of a car. | ||
| It's one of the most cowardly acts you could ever do. | ||
| It's a horrifically terrorist activity. | ||
| It's horrifically terrorist in the way that it's like sheer terror that this could ever happen to you, that someone could just gun a car into a random group of people and slam into whoever didn't get out of the way. | ||
| And they think that that would be the thing to do. | ||
| Against America, like people from your own country just over ideology. | ||
| And yeah, that's unbelievable. | ||
| Whether or not you should take down a statue of a guy who was the commanding general in the losing army of a civil war, and you got that in front of a courthouse. | ||
| This is a little weird. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We should have this discussion. | ||
| We should at least have this discussion. | ||
| One problem is people aren't allowing discussions. | ||
| You get labeled racist, sexist, immediately the opposite. | ||
| You get labeled a Nazi if you even think, like from a historical point of view, like, hey, we should respect that this statue is a part of our culture and our history. | ||
| We don't embrace the ideals of the Confederate Army. | ||
| We're not trying to bring back slavery. | ||
| We're not racists. | ||
| We just think that there's a unique and interesting history of the South. | ||
| As unfortunate as it is that it's all connected to slavery, you know, this is not entirely what this guy represents to us. | ||
| Like, if that's the argument you're making, okay. | ||
| Well, then we should probably have some sort of Confederate Army Museum, you know, where people can go and just observe like the strangeness of it all. | ||
| Because it is strange. | ||
| Whether or not you're on the north or the south, it's strange that in 1865, people were shooting each other. | ||
| And the only difference was like they were cross a line, the Mason-Dixon brother. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And that just happened, right? | ||
| Just a couple hundred years ago. | ||
| Yeah, not that long ago. | ||
| They lost 800,000 people. | ||
| And only 3% of people owned slaves in the South. | ||
| So think about how many casualties were like, what the fuck? | ||
| The whole thing is insane. | ||
| And all the immigrants in the North, just right off the boat, Italy, Ireland, just grab a gun, go die. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Just stop and think about how insane that is. | ||
| And there should be some way that we address this in these areas. | ||
| I don't think it's a statue of Robert E. Lee in front of some important federal building or state building. | ||
| I think you should take all that stuff and bring it someplace where you have like a museum or an area where you have where people can go and you have experts that give tours of this and explain, put it all in context, explain who this guy was. | ||
| Have like a tour that people do. | ||
| That's an awesome idea. | ||
| Massively educational. | ||
| And it doesn't, you know, look, nobody today was a part of the fucking Confederate Army, okay? | ||
| If you're a 30-year-old guy today, you were not a part of that, okay? | ||
| You're a human being that lives in America. | ||
| You're not responsible for the sins of your ancestors, nor are you obligated to continue the same ridiculous ideas that maybe you were raised with or other people were raised with too. | ||
| It's not smart. | ||
| We're supposed to be all in this together. | ||
| If we all got attacked by whether it's some invading army or fucking aliens from outer space, I mean, that was like a famous Ronald Reagan quote about how quickly we would forget about our differences between us and Russia if we were attacked by an alien force from outside this planet. | ||
| So true. | ||
| So true. | ||
| And even just the concept of reminiscing is new. | ||
| Like I do a song, Summer of 1869. | ||
| Like just to put in perspective how good we have it now. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And we just should be celebrating every day. | ||
| Like, holy shit. | ||
| You go into any drugstore, this could have killed kings. | ||
| It's a dollar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But like, we just, myself included, I can't do that. | ||
| I just think relatively to what I've seen in my life. | ||
| But like, if you think about the summer of 1869, like people are dying of like Spanish flu and shit. | ||
| Like crazy. | ||
| It's a hundred mile ride to get butter. | ||
| I mean, and that's like modern times. | ||
| You know, I mean, think about back when the only reason why we're here is because people had to breed from the time we weren't people. | ||
| They had to keep from the time we were some sort of, that's if you believe in all that liberal bullshit about evolution, which is mostly just a plot concocted by the Jews. | ||
| But if you do pay attention to evolution, we came from some sort of a lower hominid and we evolved over time. | ||
| We kept improving through natural selection, all sorts of different factors and mutations. | ||
| We improved and became what we are today. | ||
| Well, that means we bred back when we were almost like fish people, right? | ||
| We kept going through this whole thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What we are today, the only reason why anybody ever got better than those people that had to walk 10 miles for butter, because they were like, fuck walking 10 miles for butter. | ||
| We've got to figure this out better. | ||
| And so no one's ever happy. | ||
| No one's ever happy with the current state of affairs. | ||
| Because you're like, why am I still walking? | ||
| Where's my fucking flying car? | ||
| Where's my teleporter? | ||
| What, I can't go to Mars right now? | ||
| But I can't go to Mars right now. | ||
| And that's the gene that passed. | ||
| Like, I was trying to explain to some buddies in the UK because I do stamp their lie. | ||
| I'm like, Americans are a little fucking crazy because we were the dudes who agreed to come here. | ||
| You know, like, if you're going to do a genetic just cut and it's like, okay, you're probably going to die, but there's golden pussy. | ||
| It's like one out of 200 people is like, all right. | ||
| And then they settled America. | ||
| Those guys need a hug. | ||
| They're insane. | ||
| And then that's settled America. | ||
| And then that's why it's like some of us are just so wacky. | ||
| Like people aren't even drinking water. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like they're just hammered all the time trying to make big decisions about slavery. | ||
| It just sounds terrible, man. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| And that's the other thing when it comes to like racism. | ||
| Racism is horrible. | ||
| And it's horrible today. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I think it's better than it. | ||
| I saw a post by Killer Mike, who I think's a very cool dude. | ||
| I want to have him on eventually. | ||
| I like that guy. | ||
| Seems like he's fun. | ||
| And he had a post on his Instagram about saying America is exactly the same. | ||
| And it was essentially saying you should be armed. | ||
| He was saying anybody who tells you you shouldn't be armed and be trained in how to use a firearm is crazy. | ||
| Or they're some sort of an agent of the state. | ||
| I was like, whoa, Killer Mike's going deep. | ||
| Go on board. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, but I think it is different. | ||
| I think it is different from 1963. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I really think it's a lot better than it was in the 60s. | ||
| I think it still sucks in some spots, though. | ||
| And I think emotion, like events like this, as horrific as they are, they're good for a lot of people that live in places outside of there where they didn't know. | ||
| You get caught in the pattern of whatever your environment is. | ||
| And if you're in an environment of stagnant ancient racism that goes back to the slave days and goes back to pre-Civil War, and then it's like this same area, new ideas are slowly making their way in. | ||
| Because it's not like a lot of influx of new people moving into these places either. | ||
| It's people having kids and the kids maybe learn a little bit at school. | ||
| And it's a slow process of getting out the shitty ideas. | ||
| It's like your bit about the Middle East are the townies of the world. | ||
| It's so true. | ||
| It's like just the people that don't leave. | ||
| Well, it's Iraq in specific because Iraq is Sumer, which is where the oldest known civilization is. | ||
| So the reason why it's so fucked over there that they really are like the townies of the world. | ||
| And like tribalism, like you go to UK and it's like Catholic, Protestant, and they don't give a shit about, right? | ||
| They don't have the same history as us. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're like, I heard a great Irish joke that was, are you Catholic or Protestant? | ||
| And a guy goes, I'm atheist. | ||
| And the other guy goes, which one don't you believe in? | ||
| Or it's like, are you us or them? | ||
| And like, you can just split it up based on counties in England. | ||
| And here it's skin. | ||
| Yeah, dude, when I was in Ireland, I was in Northern Ireland as well. | ||
| I went to Belfast once. | ||
| And there was a bunch of people that were there that were there, you know, guys that were in their late 40s and 50s that were telling me about back in the day with the bombings with the IRA. | ||
| And they were explaining to me some horrific things that were done to people there. | ||
| I mean, these are Irish people going after other Irish people, right? | ||
| And the cop cars there are fully armored like war vehicles. | ||
| Like, I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| In all the places that I've been, I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| Where the cop cars are covered with like steel plates, like steel mesh on the front, steel plates and battery ramps. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| They're like, oh, it's bomb proof. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| It can get a lot worse, man. | ||
| This is Northern Ireland, and I'm talking about, shit, I want to say like 2006, something like that. | ||
| Somewhere around then, I was there. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, Dan Carlin was talking about 1968, there was like 40,000 bombings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like something that I had to look up. | ||
| I probably got that wrong, but it was like the weatherman and all these like homegrown, like shit can get bad. | ||
| There used to be machine guns on the White House. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Shit can get bad. | ||
| It's only been really good for like a short amount of time. | ||
| That's why I value it so much. | ||
| Yeah, but it's hard for us to have a perspective of how bad it used to be, you know? | ||
| Have you ever seen that section of France? | ||
| France? | ||
| That's how you know I'm American. | ||
| And France. | ||
| If I said France, I'd be an asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| It's a tricky little fucking road to navigate. | ||
| It's like Burrito is the same way. | ||
| Have you seen that area where it's like essentially no man's land? | ||
| You can't go into it because there's so much unexploded ordnance that literally there's so much toxic shit from these bombs that there's an area the size of Paris that you can't go to. | ||
| That's a monumental thing. | ||
| They have it like fucking fenced off. | ||
| You can't go in there. | ||
| And they keep pulling shit out of there and like people collect them. | ||
| You know, they have like, they've rescued them. | ||
| I mean, giant fucking bullets and missiles and shit. | ||
| That was recent. | ||
| Same with Eastern Front and Russia. | ||
| Like the Ghost of the Oster Front, that hardcore history series. | ||
| Like just the bone fields. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Where you're like things, it's right out of a Pink Floyd video. | ||
| Where you're like, all right, so I have a problem with pronouns, but it's like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like there's just nothing I use. | ||
| I'll fucking fight to the death for this. | ||
| If you're a really like smooth transition transgender person, it's absolutely no issue because no one can tell. | ||
| If you're like Thai people, you slide right in, nobody gives a shit. | ||
| Slip in. | ||
| Becomes an issue when it's not obvious. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the valley, the what valley with robot faces? | ||
| Oh, yeah, what is that called? | ||
| Uncanny Valley, where if it's like close but a little off. | ||
| Yeah, a little like something's wrong here. | ||
| Yeah, it's got no eyelashes. | ||
| It's got no eyelashes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a simulation. | ||
| Like when my piano teacher got a sex change, like no one really cared as long as he still matched the demo, like liking the bills and shit like that. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| It's so highly published. | ||
| The thing is, why should you care? | ||
| Like do whatever you want to do. | ||
| But also, you know, like don't don't swing too hard the other direction either. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's got to be, it's got to be in the middle. | ||
| It's got to be like you can't be, you don't get special treatment. | ||
| No, you're not going to be able to do that. | ||
| You're not going to be in class. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not only that. | ||
| Like you don't, we don't pretend you're amazing and beautiful and incredible and a hero and such a hero and so brave. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We should respect your choice and you should live in a world where you don't have to worry about people getting upset. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| The real problem is not that it's this amazing thing to do. | ||
| The real problem is it should be able to be a 100% free choice that no one cares about and no one should fuck with you because you do it. | ||
| Like no one should hate you because of your choice. | ||
| The real problem is that people hate them because of their choice. | ||
| And then because of that, you want to say, I am not like those people. | ||
| I think you're the most special unicorn that's ever existed in the world and you're amazing and you're my hero. | ||
| You are my hero. | ||
| Fox is near the hat house. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay. | ||
| Maybe it's just, you know. | ||
| Yeah, and people are operating from fear too, where it's like they are starting to say like a six-year-old can choose their gender and then have hormones. | ||
| They don't go through puberty. | ||
| And that's when I think back to all those idiots that I would always disagree with where it's like, stay away from my kids, gay guy. | ||
| I'm like, gay guys don't give a fuck about your kids. | ||
| But then when you think like, oh my God, the state could enforce my six-year-old a sex change. | ||
| You're like, that's a good thing. | ||
| No, they can't do that. | ||
| They don't do that. | ||
| It has to be the parents, right? | ||
| The parents have to bring the kid somewhere. | ||
| But it's the question is, when is it old enough? | ||
| Like, is it okay when you're 18? | ||
| Man, I don't think you should. | ||
| The fucking frontal cortex doesn't even get fully formed until you're 25. | ||
| So like, what are you doing making big choices? | ||
| Like, if I had to go back and think about like some super important choices that I could have made when I was 18 and whether or not I'd have been rational. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I was essentially a monkey with a language. | ||
| Like I thought like a monkey. | ||
| I acted like a monkey. | ||
| There's no way I should have been ever responsible, especially something that could affect you for the rest of your life. | ||
| Like the idea with the way you're 18, you can get a tattoo. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| This is like sterilizing. | ||
| And also like an industry can pop up. | ||
| Like my parents felt that way about circumcision. | ||
| Imagine like they were like, yeah, you guys can be circumcised and you turn 18 so you can decide on your own. | ||
| Well, that's how it should be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It shouldn't even be, you know, like you should be able to do whatever you want to do when you can decide. | ||
| That cutting off your wean, part of your wean? | ||
| And you lose a lot of dicks this way, folks, okay? | ||
| People don't want to admit it, but there's a lot of infections. | ||
| People lose their dicks every year. | ||
| Babies lose their dicks because of this. | ||
| This is a fact. | ||
| It's not a lot in terms of like the actual numbers of people that are getting circumcised, but it's a handful. | ||
| Like, you want to take that chance? | ||
| Yeah, risk reward on that. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| You talk about propaganda saying that like, you know, you're always going to have infections and shit. | ||
| They were just trying to get an extra 500 bucks a clip. | ||
| How many babies do you think lose their penis every year from infection due to circumcision? | ||
| I say five. | ||
| In America, I say five. | ||
| What do you say? | ||
| Lose their dick because their dick got infected from clipping? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm going to say 11. | ||
| 11. | ||
| 11. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Full dick loss. | ||
| Jamie's going to pull. | ||
| Well, any partial, even partial dick loss, cut off the tip of your dick. | ||
| That's how I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's just as fucked. | ||
| They're going to reconstruct the tip of your dick. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like my leaner's like, you know, I got like a warm. | ||
| They take your nose and they put it on the tip of your dick and they give you a rubber nose. | ||
| It's like, why is my nose, my dick is sniffling? | ||
| The kid can't even make a fucking choice for himself. | ||
| I know it's happened before, and one kid lost his penis in a circumcision accident, and so they tried to transition him to being a woman, and then he was suicidal, and they turned him back into a man, and then he wound up killing himself. | ||
| It turns out that's not all societal. | ||
| It was a famous case. | ||
| I forgot the name of the boy who... | ||
| Yeah, I forgot, though. | ||
| Yeah, I forgot, too. | ||
| Which book was that? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| It was like a kid named Gary or something. | ||
| I have no voice. | ||
| I have a new weed. | ||
| It says one in 200. | ||
| One in 200. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Have it. | ||
| What? | ||
| Or real bad. | ||
| Wound infection serious is what it says. | ||
| One in 200. | ||
| Okay, but how many of them lose their dicks? | ||
| They didn't do studies on those. | ||
| I saw a study once that said that more teenagers than ever are engaging in anal sex. | ||
| And I thought about that. | ||
| I was like, who the fuck is doing that science? | ||
| Like, what scientists is sitting around like, hmm, what should I study? | ||
| Global warming, asteroidal impacts. | ||
| No. | ||
| How many of these kids are butt fucking? | ||
| I need to get those butt fuck numbers. | ||
| I need to get the numbers. | ||
| And who's going to be honest? | ||
| It's like a Trump poll before the election. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's true. | ||
| It's like true. | ||
| It's like, who's going to be like, yeah, I've been butt fucking. | ||
| There's a lot of butt fucking. | ||
| It's my favorite thing. | ||
| Well, I think porn changed the game for all that shit. | ||
| Like, no one was. | ||
| Yeah, it did, for sure. | ||
| You know, everyone's pretty high level going into it now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a total different experience. | ||
| It's too many people watching. | ||
| Too many people fuck now. | ||
| It's not the same experience. | ||
| It's freaking people out. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I had a similar experience to you with the playbook in the woods. | ||
| We called it Spank Mountain. | ||
| Everybody did. | ||
| Dude, that's where they were. | ||
| Everybody found them in the woods, man. | ||
| Either that or you found them in your friend's dad's garage or something like that. | ||
| Look at some magazines tucked in a corner in some fucking fire hazard situation. | ||
| Dude, my buddy once traded a Playboy for a gun magazine saying there was more nudes in it, and I did it. | ||
| And I looked through every fucking page, and he was just looking at playbooks. | ||
| I'm like, are you sure? | ||
| Like, I was that naive. | ||
| Oh, that's so funny. | ||
| Yeah, because it's like they couldn't exit the browser, so they would have to like physically put it in the woods when they were disgusted at what they whacked to. | ||
| When I was 20, One of my friends found, got a hold of one of those videos of women having sex with animals. | ||
| It was like Barnyard Betty or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And it was a VHS tapes, real scratchy, fucked up copy of a copy of a copy VHS. | ||
| Shame dripping with shame. | ||
| Oh, so weird, man. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| I remember all of us, you know, just becoming men, you know, 20 years old, sitting there watching it over, I think it was someone's dad's, you know, someone's parents' house watching this fucking video going, what are we even seeing here? | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| My brother mislabeled WWE's Dallas RoboCop. | ||
| And I was like, RoboCop. | ||
| And I just watched people fuck for like an hour. | ||
| And I was like, what, what the? | ||
| Like, it was so intense. | ||
| I still remember those feelings of being like, it wasn't like arousal. | ||
| It was like arousal plus fear plus just confusion. | ||
| Confusion, yeah. | ||
| Like white stuff coming out of a wiener. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Also, like, you'd never really seen people fuck before. | ||
| It's just like, whoa. | ||
| That's how they do it? | ||
| Yeah, I thought it was like. | ||
| Watch it go in and watch them kiss teaser flopping. | ||
| Like, whoo, this is crazy. | ||
| And that was before fake tits, right? | ||
| A lot of women didn't have, they had natural breasts back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they had bush, too. | ||
| Yeah, they had bush. | ||
| They had asshole hair as well. | ||
| Chaos down there. | ||
| That's why everything's a balance. | ||
| Chaos and order, man. | ||
| Well, as soon as people started looking at porn, they started, oh, we can fix this. | ||
| We can clean this up. | ||
| We need to hack this off, put this over there. | ||
| We need to make these bigger. | ||
| Yeah, that is an efficiency guy. | ||
| It's like, all right, guys, we're going to get the tits bigger. | ||
| We're going to clean that up. | ||
| We're going to sell some products. | ||
| Yeah, we brought in a cleaner. | ||
| A guy who comes in like Alec Baldwin and Glenn Gary Gun Ross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| He's like, it's about trim, trim, trim. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They changed the whole game. | ||
| They did. | ||
| Kids today, I bet they have way more sex too with like Tinder and all those things. | ||
| All those ways they can interact with each other, like dating apps and shit. | ||
| See, I want to know, or maybe they're bored of it. | ||
| Like it's so easy that they can't. | ||
| I think they're fucking up a storm. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But is it like apathetic? | ||
| Like they didn't earn it? | ||
| It's like a trust fund versus earning it? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like us. | ||
| Like we had to go hunt for it. | ||
| Hunt. | ||
| Yeah, you had to get up early. | ||
| You know, you had to make your coffee by the firelight. | ||
| I was a paperboy, man. | ||
| I was saving money, buying stocks. | ||
| It's not like today. | ||
| These kids just swipe right and fuck. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| There's no safety. | ||
| They just show up places, man. | ||
| And there's cure for almost every disease now. | ||
| It's also an issue. | ||
| You know, they don't even have to worry about warts anymore. | ||
| They just get shot up with that vaccine. | ||
| Does that work? | ||
| Doesn't that fuck girls up, though? | ||
| I think it's bad for girls. | ||
| The vaccine or the virtual. | ||
| The wart vaccine. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But I guess it's probably like the circumcision thing. | ||
| It's like one out of 200. | ||
| Probably like a similar number. | ||
| Nothing's perfect, man. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| It's all chaos and order, man. | ||
| It's just a battle. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Chaos and order, and there's no order. | ||
| It's all chaos. | ||
| It's like there's order for moments. | ||
| There's attempted order, yeah. | ||
| And it's only in like brief little areas, brief little patches of time and small areas. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the Joker and Batman. | ||
| Like the Joker's, like the progressive, where it's like, Zen, Zern. | ||
| And he's like, you're fucking confusing me. | ||
| You know, it's like order and chaos back. | ||
| I'm a big Batman fan. | ||
| You know, like Batman? | ||
| I checked out when Ben Affleck became Batman. | ||
| I never watched that one. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I've always hated that guy. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I don't hate the guy. | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| Hate's a strong word, but I've always instinctively not liked him. | ||
| He seems like the type of guy that would work out and then pretend he worked out harder than he did. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Yeah, I know that guy. | ||
| You know that guy? | ||
| Like, we worked out fucking hard today. | ||
| I'm like, did you really? | ||
| He's like, I did 10 shrugs. | ||
| I did a farmer's walk with 20s. | ||
| No disrespect to him. | ||
| He's a great actor. | ||
| He's been awesome in a lot of movies. | ||
| I like the guy. | ||
| But as Batman, I'm like, you just had Christian Bale, who looked like a real Batman. | ||
| He was jacked, shredded. | ||
| I believed him. | ||
| I believe he's out there fighting crime. | ||
| I think Goodwill Hunting was so good, it made me not like him. | ||
| I can't explain it. | ||
| There's something about me I don't like. | ||
| It's got to be something about me. | ||
| You've established that. | ||
| He was really good in that recent movie. | ||
| What's that recent movie? | ||
| The girl? | ||
| No, no, not that one. | ||
| Where the girl was a murderer. | ||
| What the fuck's that called? | ||
| Gone Girl. | ||
| Gone Girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| He was good in that. | ||
| That was a great movie. | ||
| He was good in that. | ||
| I found something I didn't know. | ||
| What did you find out? | ||
| He did in Batman. | ||
| I brought this up to you as a joke where he's shown his abs in the movies he's directing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or CGI abs. | ||
| Oh, how dare he do that? | ||
| That's the guy that didn't work out as well. | ||
| How can you tell? | ||
| You can see the lines here? | ||
| You don't see him here. | ||
| These are side-by-side. | ||
| I don't see anything on the right-hand side. | ||
| I'll try to get it in motion here. | ||
| Now, side by side. | ||
| Well, you can see a six-pack here that show him again at the beginning. | ||
| Okay, here's Ben Affleck without CGI abs. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I'm not seeing shit. | ||
| It's a really quick cut. | ||
| Here's the CGI abs. | ||
| It's a defined six-pack. | ||
| This seems like Hayton to. | ||
| Here's what the problem with this is. | ||
| In one view, you're not going to have abs because the guy's core wasn't engaged. | ||
| In the other view, the guy's doing a chin-up and his core is engaged. | ||
| You fucking nerds don't even know what abs are. | ||
| So shut your mouth unless you're willing to earn those abs. | ||
| To engage the core. | ||
| No more sugar. | ||
| He looked thin enough and fit enough that I could imagine him having that six-pack. | ||
| I don't think it's CGI abs. | ||
| And good for him if it is. | ||
| People love to be hating. | ||
| They love to be hating. | ||
| Hating it. | ||
| Well, it's ever since 300, man. | ||
| Ever been since everybody's like, yo, that Gerard guy is fucking jacked. | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| Fucking jacked. | ||
| He was the most jacked guy that ever lived. | ||
| He's like a fucking, he's like Frank Zayn when he was competing in Arnold Classic, right? | ||
| Like Fight Club. | ||
| Remember Fight Club? | ||
| Like, that was really ripped. | ||
| Well, that was Brad Pitt was super ripped back then. | ||
| But that was 100% real. | ||
| Like, he wasn't, there was no CGI back then. | ||
| They weren't. | ||
| That was real shit. | ||
| I don't think they could do that back then, could they? | ||
| How long ago was Fight Club? | ||
| 99-ish, 97, 98. | ||
| Yeah, they couldn't really do like CGI on bodies like that. | ||
| Oh, so Butler was CGI abs? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Airbrush too, a little bit like that. | ||
| Yeah, they just painted them. | ||
| They basically painted the shit out of their whole body. | ||
| I'd go with that, though, if given the option. | ||
| If someone's like, we got a paint guy, I'm like, yeah. | ||
| The movie, though, I mean, kind of demanded it because the movie was this fantastic visual masterpiece where I think you would have been thrown off if people had regular bodies. | ||
| Like, I 100% support it in that movie because, like, Xerxes was like 10 feet tall, remember, like the Persian king? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then all the other people, like, everyone was totally jacked. | ||
| It was perfect because it was like very much like one of those illustrated books, like a comic, a super high-end graphic novel come to life. | ||
| It was perfect. | ||
| I thought it was great. | ||
| Yeah, because if everyone looked normal, it would just be like sad. | ||
| Just 300 guys dying. | ||
| Even if they were in shape. | ||
| If they looked like real people that are in shape. | ||
| You know, some people have different body types. | ||
| Some people just, you don't see them, even if they're like Fedor. | ||
| You don't see him with abs, even though he's like a big, powerful, strong guy. | ||
| That's the reality of humans. | ||
| There's a bunch of different kinds of body types. | ||
| Triggered. | ||
| It was like archetypal. | ||
| They wanted to make these like comic beautifully perfect men. | ||
| They nailed it. | ||
| They did. | ||
| That movie is awesome. | ||
| That movie is the shit. | ||
| I never saw the second one. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| Once Gerard's dead, I'm like, why am I watching this? | ||
| The Rise of the Dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now that's... | ||
| You gotta go with Gerard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can't fucking... | ||
| Don't make a, you know, 200 before they got the last 100. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, could you have like a bunch of adventures this guy had before he got killed? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, the child just fighting that cat in the fucking cave. | ||
| Yeah, and when he gets cocky and he wants too much money, you go with him as a teenager. | ||
| You get a new guy. | ||
| Yeah, this is him. | ||
| You get some young dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some young boy band type character. | ||
| But that has to be the end. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Going past that, it's just Justin Bieber stars in it. | ||
| He's 20 years old. | ||
| He can get in there. | ||
| They give him some fucking fake abs. | ||
| Get the demo in there. | ||
| Imagine how much pussy Justin Bieber would get if he did that. | ||
| Like, it would be unmanageable. | ||
| He already is probably not unlimited, right? | ||
| What is this, Jimmy? | ||
| So a simulation of what that would have looked like with the 300 guys versus 20,000. | ||
| So this really did happen. | ||
| There really was 300 guys. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| A lot of hate crimes happening right there. | ||
| 300 guys and how many thousand Persian? | ||
| 20,000. | ||
| 20,000 Persian soldiers. | ||
| Well, that's not right. | ||
| That doesn't look right. | ||
| That doesn't look like a good move, guys. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's so insane. | ||
| That's why they called them immortals, right? | ||
| Because they just kept coming back. | ||
| There were so many of them. | ||
| You would have to be so good to beat all their asses. | ||
| They're probably beating their own asses, waiting to get in on you. | ||
| You know how much of that is. | ||
| I mean, this is blowing my mind. | ||
| Listen to all those people. | ||
| It's like a fish concert. | ||
| It smells just as bad. | ||
| A lot of kind butt over there. | ||
| A lot of kind butt. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| So insane. | ||
| Carlin does a good job of that one, the King of Kings series. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dan Carlin does a great job on everything. | ||
| But this really is insane that this happened, that they really did try to hold off all these people. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| What a sea of humans. | ||
| And it's not fair because they're fresh. | ||
| By the time they get to you, you're already beat down. | ||
| You fought, killed seven dudes already. | ||
| But now you have high ground just with bodies. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| How this relationship is. | ||
| This is just computer simulation. | ||
| Yeah, nobody knows. | ||
| Nobody has any idea. | ||
| See, that's how naive I am. | ||
| I'm literally just buying it. | ||
| Like, I'm like, holy shit, this literally happened, bro. | ||
| That's exactly it. | ||
| I had this super stonered idea once that one day they would come out with a computer that is so powerful that it calculates the position. | ||
| This would have to be dependent upon a bunch of other technologies that are new, like specifically the ability to monitor every single thing on Earth in high definition, and then put all that information to some crazy supercomputer. | ||
| So you look at every object that is in every position, wherever it is, and somehow or another they could figure out how everything got there. | ||
| And through some super powerful AI that hasn't even been invented yet, they would literally be able to recreate every single moment that happened that led to that happening right there. | ||
| Like you get the math and just go backwards. | ||
| Yeah, we realized at one point this is a super stoner idea that I don't think is real, folks. | ||
| You're so fucking stupid. | ||
| You don't understand how time works. | ||
| That's not what I mean. | ||
| But this is my super stoner idea was that they would figure out computers that are so impossibly powerful and they can calculate and extrapolate and do this crazy sort of, some sort of algorithm that figures out exactly how everything got to wherever it is. | ||
| And then you could recreate in some sort of visual form everything that's ever happened ever. | ||
| I think that's possible theoretically. | ||
| We're both so high. | ||
| We shouldn't be talking about this publicly. | ||
| Yeah, but it would be totally possible. | ||
| But we'll never get there if we keep hiring 50-50 genders. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You're a misogynist. | ||
| I'm only kidding. | ||
| I saw a lot of people that said that guy was a misogynist. | ||
| It's like, that's crazy. | ||
| That's like calling everybody a Nazi. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You got to be careful because then you see a real Nazi and they're a different thing. | ||
| It's like the issue that I have with 10-9 rounds in MMA. | ||
| Sometimes a 10-9-round dude gets the fuckbeat out of them. | ||
| And other times a 10-9 round, it could be either one. | ||
| It's not the same thing. | ||
| You got to have a new name for it. | ||
| And that's sort of how I feel. | ||
| It's a terrible explanation. | ||
| Terrible comparison, rather. | ||
| But that's how I think about people calling someone a misogynist. | ||
| Like, a misogynist is someone who hates women. | ||
| If someone writes a page and a half of different ideas of how you can encourage women to get into tech and so they would be more represented, that would, you know, like make it more interesting for them or ways to get them in. | ||
| That's not a misogynist. | ||
| It's the opposite of a misogynist. | ||
| I mean, just because someone doesn't toe the current lefty liberal line, it doesn't mean that you're a misogynist. | ||
| You've got to think about what this is saying. | ||
| No one's saying women can't do something. | ||
| No one's saying women are less qualified. | ||
| What he's saying is that women are more inclined to choose different things. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And this is supported by science. | ||
| And it doesn't mean you hate women if you think that the reason why there is whatever the percentage is is 10% or 15% or 20% of women in tech. | ||
| If that's that way, just because 20% of the women who decide to go into college and decide to pursue a career are interested in it. | ||
| If it's any other reason, we need to examine it. | ||
| But if it's that reason, then we should just kind of accept it for what it is and try to make it easier for those women that work there. | ||
| I don't know how the fuck to do that. | ||
| I don't work in an office. | ||
| But I would imagine there's got to be ways. | ||
| I would imagine just treat people with respect. | ||
| Figure out a way to make that a priority in your office or a part of your business or the culture of your community. | ||
| Yeah, just focus on the individual, not the group. | ||
| Yeah, you can't, yeah, all girls and all boys, those things, it's like all white people. | ||
| That does not end well. | ||
| It doesn't end well. | ||
| It's not a good way to differentiate whether you like someone or not. | ||
| If it's all girl or all boy or all white or all black or all anything, you got to be open to possibilities. | ||
| Especially when you're not saying like, you know, I need a fucking large white power lifter. | ||
| Well, you got to go to Iceland. | ||
| You know, get yourself one of them Iceland dudes. | ||
| That's not being discriminatory. | ||
| It's like you got very specific needs. | ||
| Oh, yeah, those dudes, you got to go to the north. | ||
| I need a Norwegian. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You got to go to Norway. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You need a Ricola guy. | ||
| Yeah, you got to need one of those dudes that works at Diggery Doo. | ||
| Oh, you got to go to Australia. | ||
| Have you read Sports Gene by Epstein? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| No, I haven't read that. | ||
| But there's like, when it comes to sports, it's so obvious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's like there's one area of Kenya where like all the winners of every marathon come from. | ||
| But on the individual basis, it doesn't mean anything. | ||
| You know, like Cameron Haynes would beat 99.9999% of black people in long distance running. | ||
| You'd have to get really long. | ||
| You get 150 miles. | ||
| You see those little skinny African dudes that win marathons, those guys are beasts. | ||
| You cannot fuck with those guys. | ||
| When it comes to running a marathon, those skinny dudes, like that is the build for marathons, and Cam's never going to beat those guys. | ||
| But you put them on a mountain where they got to go up like 9,000 feet of elevation and it's a three-day run. | ||
| He leaves all those motherfuckers in the dirt because it's a different build. | ||
| Like his build is a muscle build too. | ||
| Like he's a built guy who does endurance sports. | ||
| And that's like a lot of the mountain runners. | ||
| Like a lot of the people that do those crazy, like the Bigfoot 200, there's a massive amount of like travel and elevation up and down. | ||
| You have to be strong. | ||
| It's not just flat ground. | ||
| And if you're like a really good flat ground runner, it's a totally different build. | ||
| They're real skinny. | ||
| And for them, it's just about efficiency and motion and just mad cardio. | ||
| Yeah, and it's also like oxygen consumption. | ||
| That's why warm, wet air, wide nostrils, you crush. | ||
| But like if you're in, you know, where Kent, where he's racing with dry, cold air, you need a lot more surface area. | ||
| That's why you have these tight noses. | ||
| And saying something like that, someone say, oh, Russis, you're like, no, that's just a fact. | ||
| You know, it's like stupid. | ||
| Is it racist to say that black guys have big dicks? | ||
| I don't even know anymore. | ||
| It can't be racist if it's good. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Isn't that the question? | ||
| That has been a question that has been... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe it's triggering to guys who have regular sized dicks. | ||
| That's who suffer. | ||
| Where girls are psyched, like, finally got me a black one. | ||
| Woo, can't wait for this ride. | ||
| And then it's like, you ever take that goofy ride at Disney? | ||
| It's like, oh, God. | ||
| You know, you have kids. | ||
| If you take them to Disney, there's like a one roller coaster. | ||
| It's like goofy roller coaster. | ||
| Like, like, you're ready for that fucking California screaming when you go upside down and yeah. | ||
| It doesn't happen. | ||
| Yeah, it just hurts you. | ||
| Like, it's like an Asian with a hammer where it's like, oh, he's a really good personality. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He has a monster in his pants. | ||
| Like, he's just constantly breaking stereotypes in a good way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like the opposite for me with basketball. | ||
| Like, first pick, suck. | ||
| Everyone's like, big man. | ||
| I'm like, don't do it. | ||
| No, it's a bad call. | ||
| I'm like, just don't do that. | ||
| Constant letdown. | ||
| But when you got like the 5-2 Mugsy Bogues guy, it's like, he's the greatest. | ||
| And I'm just a letdown. | ||
| Yeah, it's, you know, there's a bunch of people that are going to be better at things than you, whether it's better at math or it's better at music or it's better at whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And there's going to be a bunch of people of all sorts of genders that are better than you at it and all sorts of ethnicities and all. | ||
| They come from all sorts of different parts of the planet. | ||
| And it's just, it's not fair. | ||
| There's no fair involved. | ||
| No fair. | ||
| It's not, I know it sucks. | ||
| I know it feels weird, but there's no fair involved in European Jews winning more Nobel Prizes than anybody. | ||
| There's no fair involved in that. | ||
| It's like, what are they doing? | ||
| Like, how fucking smart are they? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| Like, this is a crazy group of smart people, right? | ||
| It's crazy smart. | ||
| Also, culture. | ||
| You know, that's why I'm not like Black, Redneck, White Liberals, one of my favorite books by Thomas Sowell. | ||
| And like, culture is everything, you know? | ||
| And a lot of it has to do with whether or not you herded animals or had a farm. | ||
| And that's the size of government you want. | ||
| Or it's like, it's the same with like certain Chinese people can count so well and they're so good at math because they just, it's one, two, three, four, five, and then 10, 1, 10, 2, 10, 3. | ||
| So they never had 13, 14, 15 that set us back a month and that like starts snowballing. | ||
| You know, same with rice farming. | ||
| It's all about efficiency because it's year-round and you have like a little amount of land and then like, so that makes you a little more efficient as a culture. | ||
| And that's not racial. | ||
| It just means like you guys value different shit. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you got to wonder how much of what a person is in 2017, how much of it has to do with all sorts of factors and influences that are completely out of your control. | ||
| And if a lot of it, I'm inclined to believe it's most, almost all of it, has to do with things that are out of your control. | ||
| Like, why would you think that would be a good idea to be aligned with a group of one people that have one thing in common? | ||
| Like, you're white. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you're black. | ||
| Or whatever the fuck you are. | ||
| It's a holdover from ancient times when we were tribal and we were worried about being invaded. | ||
| And everybody's thinking, well, they are invading. | ||
| They are invading. | ||
| They're taking away our culture. | ||
| They're taking away our history. | ||
| Like, just fucking relax. | ||
| All right. | ||
| No one's taking away shit. | ||
| You can't take away history, first of all. | ||
| It's not like people are going to forget. | ||
| And second of all, like, you're not here for very long, man. | ||
| This is a short time. | ||
| You're wasting your time thinking about some stupid shit. | ||
| You, if you're fucking super lucky, you got a hundred years on this rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A hundred. | ||
| And we're also externalizing pride. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's like, oh, I need Trump to say this or I feel shame or pride. | ||
| It's like, it should stem from your own accomplishments and yourself. | ||
| You know, like pride. | ||
| Like, what do you have pride in? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You should be happy you did something difficult. | ||
| That's probably where it ends. | ||
| You know, you should be happy that you're a good person. | ||
| And, you know, you should be happy that you have a lot of friends and that you enjoy each other's company and you can make them happy and they can make you happy and that you enjoy seeing them. | ||
| You should be happy about accomplishments and good interactions that you successfully navigated through with people that maybe could have gone badly. | ||
| You know, those are always great. | ||
| Those are always good feelings when clear the air with somebody and you give a big hug at the end of it and everybody feels better. | ||
| Those are things to be happy about. | ||
| But people are happy about stupid shit. | ||
| You're happy about what? | ||
| That you both like swastikas? | ||
| So fucking stupid. | ||
| How about those dudes who showed up with guns? | ||
| They showed up with guns, like full, full-on open carry, walking on the street with military outfits on, flak jackets, machine guns, showing up while they're taking down this fucking statue. | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely a form of mental illness where it's like you're living out trauma that it doesn't really apply to your life. | ||
| Well, there's no real war for these people. | ||
| No. | ||
| At least where they're standing. | ||
| So because there's no real war, they're bringing guns and they're turning something. | ||
| They're ramping up all the power and the pressure of this moment. | ||
| I didn't see what happened on the side of the left, but I heard that they were doing some horrible shit to people too. | ||
| And there was a lot of punching and people were fucking beating the shit out of each other and there's piles on top of each other. | ||
| The violence all escalated. | ||
| I have no idea who started it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I have no idea if the police were at fault. | ||
| There's a lot of people that believe that the police should have separated them and they did not, they didn't do anything about it and they allowed it to escalate and they stood back while it escalated. | ||
| Like they didn't have the power, the manpower to go in and enforce some sort of civility. | ||
| That's tragic. | ||
| It's horrible, man. | ||
| I mean, they might not have been prepared for it. | ||
| They might not have had the resources. | ||
| I mean, how many fucking people are working there? | ||
| I mean, there was how many thousands of people showed up with torches? | ||
| Yeah, it was like the opposite of Woodstock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's like the worst possible too many people. | ||
| And I think a lot of times people need a purpose. | ||
| You know, like I'm friends with a lot of vets and like they have, you know, PTSD and all this stuff. | ||
| And a lot of them just want to purpose because like idle time makes them crazy. | ||
| And I think there's a lot of people right now that don't feel any purpose. | ||
| So they're like listening to chat rooms, whether it's ISIS or Nazis or, hey, we have a purpose for you. | ||
| You're more than just your like possessions. | ||
| And then that's when things become horrifying. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And listen, I know people get mad that we're talking about this, people on both sides. | ||
| If you have a group of people and you all show up with the same torch, you're a bunch of fucking assholes. | ||
| Why do you have torches? | ||
| Listen, go to fucking REF. | ||
| Is that REF? | ||
| REI. | ||
| I'm doing a Joey Diaz. | ||
| Go to REI. | ||
| Get a headlamp, bro. | ||
| They're so much better than torches. | ||
| If you're really concerned with seeing at night, okay? | ||
| I love myself. | ||
| A headlamp. | ||
| They're the shit. | ||
| They have three different things. | ||
| You can make them strobe sometimes. | ||
| I got a good one. | ||
| I think it's a black diamond. | ||
| I think that's the name of the company. | ||
| I wear it when I go hunting. | ||
| I put that fucker on my hat, and it's awesome. | ||
| I click that sucker, and I can walk around with no problem. | ||
| And the batteries and these things, they're tremendous. | ||
| They last forever. | ||
| Why the fuck do you need fire? | ||
| Why are you pretending? | ||
| Is that like some intimidation tactic? | ||
| Or you want to bring us back to the days where we didn't have fucking electricity and you had to walk down the street with a torch? | ||
| Yeah, they're almost intentionally being like, wear it backwards. | ||
| It is exactly like that. | ||
| Headlamps. | ||
| Whether they realize it or not, it is fucking stupid. | ||
| It's symbolic. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's symbolic of back when Robert A. Lee was the leader of this great son of the country. | |
| We didn't have electricity. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| You're in a bad pattern, man. | ||
| You're in a bad pattern. | ||
| You're not a bad person. | ||
| Don't get stuck in this. | ||
| Don't let this define you. | ||
| You're just a person. | ||
| And any one of us could have got stuck in a shit pattern. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| That's what being a racist is. | ||
| It's not being a realist. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| There's assholes of all colors and genders and everything. | ||
| All persuasions. | ||
| There's assholes across the board. | ||
| And there's also a lot of nice people. | ||
| You just got to figure out a way to navigate away from the douchebags and don't be one of them. | ||
| And as soon as you show up with a fucking torch, yelling white pride, and you're taking off your shirt to show your Nazi tattoo, like, dude. | ||
| Dude, the Nazi flag is literally a red flag. | ||
| It's the worst thing you can do to your body to show that you're a part of, like, one of the worst groups ever in human history. | ||
| You're a part of this that randomly discriminates against Jews and wants to kill them and throw them in ovens. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| Well, that's all what it means, bro. | ||
| What it actually means. | ||
| You got to let that go. | ||
| You got to let the mustache go. | ||
| You got to let the swastika go. | ||
| You can get by without a swastika tattoo. | ||
| You really can. | ||
| You can thrive. | ||
| You can be a happy person. | ||
| They're suppressing my right. | ||
| My right to have a swastika. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm a big fan of Germany right before the war. | |
| Have the right to be part of the group that clearly fucking sucks at everything. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They didn't suck at first. | ||
| It's a good idea for some good early policies. | ||
| It got out of hand. | ||
| He built the Audubon, bro. | ||
| It got out of hand after a while. | ||
| He started taking Adderall. | ||
| Right after they made the Nurburg ring. | ||
| They're bringing those old Audis around those corners. | ||
| It's like once he made a fucking 50-mile missile, it was bad. | ||
| It's just wasting time. | ||
| They should get into bowling. | ||
| They could be into bowling just as much as they're into like U.S. history. | ||
| Confederate history is an important part of my life. | ||
| Bowling's everything to me. | ||
| They're the same person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| Go bow hunting, man. | ||
| It's way more fun. | ||
| Yeah, get into a hobby. | ||
| That's why I listen to your new hobbies on the pod. | ||
| Because I'm the same way. | ||
| I'll teach myself a very hard Beethoven song, and that allows me to be like, disappear and have a hobby and a purpose. | ||
| Like these goal-oriented purposes, like listening to you talk about getting into archery and loving it. | ||
| And the little amounts of weight on an arrow and stuff. | ||
| And I'm like, I need, it reminds me of hobbies. | ||
| It's fascinating, man. | ||
| All hobbies to me are the same thing in that what you're trying to do is trying to like focus on something and get better at it and figure out what it is that makes this thing good. | ||
| And it's the same thing. | ||
| It's like it's an extra, I mean, obviously they're not the same activity, but it's the same thing and it's a focus. | ||
| It's an avenue for your mind. | ||
| And I feel like it's like cross-training. | ||
| I feel like when you get involved in hobbies and you really get in, as long as you manage them healthily where you don't let them take over your life, getting better at a thing like chess Or jiu-jitsu, or whatever it is, gets you better at the entirety of your life. | ||
| As long as you look at the entirety of your life in balance and you don't let it run away from you. | ||
| Because I've let it run away from me for a bunch of times. | ||
| I think we all have. | ||
| It's good for stand-up, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, just learning Spanish. | ||
| I'm trying to teach myself Spanish. | ||
| I have a whole new 10 minutes on the gender of nouns. | ||
| Like, that I wouldn't have even thought of if I'd only spoke English my whole life. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's another totally different take on things, right? | ||
| Looking at it from the point of view of any sort of Latin art or Latin language. | ||
| La Luna. | ||
| Why is the moon a woman? | ||
| Then you go through the whole thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's like our language doesn't have any gender assignment at all on nouns. | ||
| And then for them, it's everything. | ||
| You have to remember what everything is, if it has a dick or a pussy. | ||
| I wonder if they're triggered all day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Like, everybody's super upset at all this gender classification. | ||
| What about non-binary folks in Latin countries? | ||
| They just must be spiraling. | ||
| What about gender fluid? | ||
| Like, who are you? | ||
| Are you El Señor or La Señorita? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| Just Zur. | ||
| It's like Zur Presidente Zur. | ||
| They don't buy that shit over there. | ||
| No. | ||
| And they don't even think about it. | ||
| It's fun doing it in Pasadena and shit because it's like a lot of Mexicans haven't even thought about that. | ||
| It's just so second nature. | ||
| It's almost like having someone describe our culture to us and being like, holy shit, we put silicone in chicks' fucking boobs. | ||
| Well, the butt thing's more disturbing to me for some reason. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The new trend in fake butts. | ||
| I saw a girl just two days ago at the hotel. | ||
| It looked like she had a diaper on. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| She was walking around by the pool. | ||
| I was like, this is the craziest fuck. | ||
| She had some dress on and some so preposterously proportioned buttocks. | ||
| I was like, listen, you can't just do that. | ||
| You can't just do that. | ||
| Like, what are you doing here? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Do you think it floats? | ||
| It definitely has to if it's all fat. | ||
| The ones that are doing it now, apparently what they do is fat grafting. | ||
| That's the same word I use when I describe welding fenders on a Porsche. | ||
| You graft a fender. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they call it. | ||
| They call it fat grafting. | ||
| So they take fat, they lipo you. | ||
| Like they take fat. | ||
| I wonder if they didn't tell you to get fat first. | ||
| Like, listen, just give you an excuse. | ||
|
unidentified
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Beef up. | |
| Just beef the fuck up. | ||
| Eat a lot of pasta. | ||
| Get crazy. | ||
| And then they lipo you, and then they tuck all that shit in your ass. | ||
| Just thicken that beast up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa! | |
| And they have to like smooth it out, too. | ||
| They don't want it too lumpy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You want to make sure you do a good job. | ||
| It probably makes air travel better. | ||
| Like, do you think that you're always switching? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think you bounce? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It'd be like everywhere you go, you're sitting on a water balloon. | ||
| Like everywhere you go. | ||
| You're always engaging the core. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be like one of them yoga bubbles. | ||
| Those balloon things that people sit on. | ||
| What are those things? | ||
| Those balls? | ||
| Those exercise balls? | ||
| That's what it'd be like all day long. | ||
| You're sitting on a giant yoga balloon. | ||
| And also like swimming, I feel like you drown. | ||
| Like your ass would just be like a buoy. | ||
| Like you would just see a bunch of buoys and just women that drown because they're ass buoys. | ||
| Would you show me some here, young Jamie? | ||
| What do we got here? | ||
| This is what you do? | ||
| Okay, so you suck it out of even the thighs. | ||
| The thighs and the upper middle back area. | ||
| They suck it out of there and then pump it in your ass. | ||
| Give me some before, after, son. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Hold on, go back to that picture. | ||
| Jesus, look at that. | ||
| I don't like ass and surgery. | ||
| I don't like those two words together. | ||
| I think ass surgery, if someone says that to you, you go, oh, dude, I'm so sorry. | ||
| You got to get ass surgery. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I want to. | ||
| No, it's funny, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You want to get ass surgery? | ||
| I identify with a jiggly fucking pillow ass. | ||
| I want to plumper up. | ||
| I'm just going to be honest with you. | ||
| And you can never get mad at that point if someone cat calls you. | ||
| It's like you literally are just throwing blood at tigers at that point. | ||
| The girl on the right, okay, she didn't get crazy. | ||
| She was just a little conservative in her approach. | ||
| It's like she almost like photoshopped. | ||
| Like she took a little off the sides and put it in her butt and like, hmm, I kind of see what you did there. | ||
| But all you have to do is crossfit, okay? | ||
| Oh, but did you see that video of that girl doing that clean? | ||
| And she falls and it hits her neck? | ||
| Here, I'll send it to you. | ||
| It's dark, dude. | ||
| She got hurt. | ||
| It's dark. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, she got fucking heart. | ||
| She got hurt, man, for sure. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Here, let me see where I can find it here. | ||
| Eddie Bravo sent it to me today. | ||
| But it's been all over Twitter. | ||
| Did it fall on her neck? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| She cleaned it, and it landed, like, literally on her neck. | ||
| It was horrific. | ||
| Oh, that's just Eddie by himself. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| It's rough, dude. | ||
| Yeah, that's really rough. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| All right, let me send it to young Jamie here. | ||
| Hold, please. | ||
| Copy, link. | ||
| Oh, no, you could say share, right? | ||
| Can't you do that? | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| This is a really awesome part of the show. | ||
| This is my favorite part. | ||
| It's called Joe is not really talking very well because he's sending Jamie something that he needs to see. | ||
| All right, there we go. | ||
| I sent it to you. | ||
| I tweeted. | ||
| I sent it to your phone. | ||
| Was it like heavy? | ||
| Should I email it to you? | ||
| I should, right? | ||
| So you could put it up. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is that her? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, that's not her. | ||
| I think more than one chick has done that, I'm sure. | ||
| Here, I'll email it to you so you can play it on the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's horrible, man. | ||
| That sounds wicked, horrifying. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| She gets it up in the air, and then she loses control of it and drops it down. | ||
| And I don't know if she's doing... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch. | |
| She gets up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah, no! | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah, not good, dude. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That girl could have died for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| She could have been paralyzed. | ||
| She's okay, apparently. | ||
| Luckily, because the bar is larger than her. | ||
| You know, the plates are larger than her body. | ||
| So as it falls, the plates hit the ground. | ||
| The thing probably bounced off. | ||
| The ground was probably rubber. | ||
| So she was alright. | ||
| But that's not good. | ||
| Yeah, and that's, you know, I think. | ||
| Well, that's the issue that a lot of people have with people getting really crazy with those kind of Olympic lifts and things along those lines. | ||
| You got to be real careful with that shit. | ||
| You know, it can go wrong. | ||
| It's one of the things that I really love about kettlebells. | ||
| Like, I've never had that kind of shit happen to me with kettlebells. | ||
| never lost one. | ||
| I'd lift pretty heavy with them, but I've built up to it over the years. | ||
| And I never go to failure. | ||
| Like, what I'm doing is like, it's hard and it makes you stronger, but this like that, it's not going to make you that kind of strong. | ||
| Like, that kind of clean, pressed, squat, strong. | ||
| That's a fucking high-level strong. | ||
| But boy, that's so strength-specific and it's super dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, and kettlebell is more applicable to your life. | ||
| Like, now, like, I literally am swinging my baby like it's a kettlebell. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, wow, all that gym work really made me a better dad. | ||
| I do Turkish get-ups with my kids. | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| Turkish get-ups. | ||
| You lie down on your back, then I press them, then I sit up. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Then I'll get up and I'll hold them up in the air, and then I'll slowly let them down. | ||
| It was way easier when they were babies, bro. | ||
| It's hard now. | ||
| Yeah, like that. | ||
| It's like we're adding weight to the baby. | ||
| I carry my kids around all the time, too. | ||
| That's one thing I do. | ||
| I go hiking, and I'll throw my kids on my shoulders. | ||
| So it's like my nine-year-old's like 50 pounds, 53 pounds. | ||
| So I carry her up hills. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's a good workout. | ||
| And I kind of have little slightly wide hips, which kind of... | ||
| So we're trying to like halfway. | ||
| So if you went the other way, it'd be quick, quick transition. | ||
| Yeah, but I'd still be 6'7 and just not good at basketball. | ||
| Big, sexy woman. | ||
| Big, sexy hippie. | ||
| Not a woman. | ||
| Yeah, hippie. | ||
| But with the baby, though, I'm like, oh, I can... | ||
| Oh, put them on the hips. | ||
| That's why they have them. | ||
| You have them to come out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's not to carry them around. | ||
| Imagine if they had a pouch like a kangaroo right in the hip and it grew out right when they got pregnant. | ||
| Tucked a little kid right there. | ||
| That'd be amazing. | ||
| Yeah, they just walk a little sideways, limp. | ||
| Kid just sitting right there. | ||
| Yeah, because my wife's like chiseled now from just holding the babies. | ||
| Oh, yeah, you get jacked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're carrying around a weight all day. | ||
| It's like you're doing stuff. | ||
| Like boxers use hand weights and they're only like two pounds, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember those ankle ones? | ||
| Did you ever use those? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I used to use those for kicks. | ||
| We used to use those. | ||
| And people are like, oh, you're going to fuck your knees up. | ||
| You know, because if you kick hard with ankle weights on, you fuck your knees up. | ||
| So we always avoid. | ||
| But now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, no, you wouldn't. | ||
| Just do it right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It definitely would make you stronger. | ||
| Callen once showed me you kicking a bag, and it was unbelievable to watch. | ||
| We were like on set of self-inson. | ||
| He's like, dude, look at this. | ||
| And he was just wham, wham. | ||
| And I remember just being like, fuck, man, that's a skill I'll never have. | ||
| I really enjoy watching that. | ||
| That's a skill that I don't even believe I have. | ||
| I don't believe it's real. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's one of those things where whenever I go to work out, I'm like, do I really know how to do this? | ||
| Like, it doesn't seem like I should. | ||
| And it was like a machine gun. | ||
| It was just bam, bam, bam. | ||
| I'm like, that's a 30 clip right there. | ||
| Well, I just do it all the time. | ||
| But even to this day, like, I still, it's weird because I grew up doing it. | ||
| And it's like, so I kind of barely remember learning it. | ||
| It's like me with piano. | ||
| Like, I'm playing Bach. | ||
| And I'm like. | ||
| So your fingers just find the keys. | ||
| And I'm such like a, I'm just, I'm like retarded. | ||
| You know, and I'm playing like the craziest songs ever written. | ||
| We made this video because Eddie Bravo had always seen me do this and he would tell people and they would go, shut the fuck up. | ||
| You know, because everybody always thinks that everybody's always exaggerating about their friend who does something, you know, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And so he was always like talking to me about martial arts kicking. | ||
| And I was like, well, there's a lot of like problems with some of the ways some people kick. | ||
| And I would explain it to him. | ||
| And then I would like show him on a bag. | ||
| And he'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| Like, how long have you been able to do this? | ||
| I'm like, I've been doing this my whole life. | ||
| And he'd be like, how do you know how to do it? | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| I can't believe you could do that. | ||
| It's muscle memory. | ||
| Well, it's just, I grew up doing it. | ||
| You know, it's just a part of how my body moves. | ||
| But because I don't really remember learning it, it does feel weird. | ||
| It feels like I'm not sure I really can do it until I do it. | ||
| And then every time I do it, I go, oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and like the shock and awe of a kick. | ||
| Oh, it's horrible. | ||
| Like, even if there's someone that is more my speed, if they just bust out a big kick, I'm like. | ||
| Yeah, it's all right. | ||
| Yeah, my wife, yeah, she is a bitch. | ||
| Especially leg kicks, man. | ||
| If you like see like a really good like Muay Thai fighter and you watch someone kick someone's legs, it's so horrible. | ||
| Like the sound it makes and the power it has. | ||
| I see that in the US street all the time. | ||
| It's one of the still to this day, one of the hardest because I'm like, god damn it, I don't think people are appreciating how hard that is. | ||
| Like that hurts. | ||
| Like that other guy's in pain right now. | ||
| He's just got an awesome poker face. | ||
| Like he just got ate up with that kick. | ||
| And then by the time a guy does start to show it, you're like, oh no, he's done. | ||
| His legs are gone. | ||
| I've always wondered that. | ||
| Like they just don't show it, right? | ||
| Yeah, oh, for sure. | ||
| The toughest men in the world. | ||
| And women. | ||
| You know, if somebody who is not trained got kicked like that, and like, I want to feel what it feels like. | ||
| And like, you let someone like Tyron Woodley or something, the UFC Welterweight champion, let him leg kick you. | ||
| You'd be like, oh my God. | ||
| But how do you keep it? | ||
| You lift your leg up and you check it. | ||
| Like you would try, like they're trying to hit the meat. | ||
| Well, they could be trying to hit low too. | ||
| That's actually more recently a much more used tactic is the low leg kick where they're attacking like literally like right above the ankle. | ||
| It's nasty. | ||
| And they clip right above the ankle with your shin and it just swells up real bad on a lot of guys. | ||
| You don't really condition that area like over low by the ankle. | ||
| But the thigh you can condition. | ||
| You can take a few shots. | ||
| And then the other thing you do is as the shots coming in, you lift your leg up a little bit and kind of turn your foot out. | ||
| And so the idea is that your shin and your thigh take the brunt of the hit instead of just the meat of the thigh. | ||
| Can you help bone density? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it helps bone density. | ||
| It actually, what it is, is as you keep having impacts over and over again, a bunch of things happen. | ||
| One, there's a bunch of little micro fractures that happen, they heal up and it gets harder. | ||
| And also there's a calcification that happens because there's a lot of bleeding. | ||
| Like a lot of those guys, like if you feel their shins, they're like, Jesus Christ, like hard like a rock, man. | ||
| Like there's this dude, Malipet. | ||
| There's a bunch of those dudes that are fighting in Muay Thai that can kick through baseball bats. | ||
| Yeah, it's super common. | ||
| Like all those high-level guys can most likely kick through a baseball bat. | ||
| It's hilarious when you watch them do it too because it looks so terrifying. | ||
| Just kick through the bat. | ||
| That's like another animal. | ||
| Just like, that's a dumb. | ||
| Yeah, they've made their shins so fucking hard and they kick so hard. | ||
| They can just smash Right through things, like if a guy like that is kicking your leg, you're in a nightmare. | ||
| It's a terrible place to be. | ||
| Yeah, and I played football, so like when you talk about brain injury, sometimes I'm like, Man, am I gonna end up crazy? | ||
| Because I used to take so many hits to the head. | ||
| Yeah, this, I forget this gentleman's name, but watch him do this. | ||
| He's warming up right there, and here he comes. | ||
| Oh, dude, he just snapped that baseball bat in half. | ||
| Fuck all that. | ||
| I forget that guy's name. | ||
| He's a famous, let's see if you can get his name. | ||
| Because he's a famous. | ||
| Yeah, Melchrom. | ||
| Mel, how do you say his name? | ||
| Melchromenor. | ||
| I hope I'm saying his name right, but he's a Muay Thai coach on one of the seasons of the Ultimate Fighter, the early days. | ||
| But real respected Muay Thai fighter and coach. | ||
| There's a bunch of guys who could do that. | ||
| It's a real common move, actually, with Muay Thai fighters. | ||
| They kick through baseball bats. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| So that's a broken shin bone. | ||
| Not for him, for you and me, yeah. | ||
| This guy's going to kick through it while he's got like a cord attached to his leg. | ||
| They did a sports science on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So they got like bam! | ||
| Dude, what in the fuck? | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Same guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he does it all the time. | ||
| That guy's probably busted 100 bats. | ||
| If that guy kicks you, it would hurt so bad. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Dude, it would have like... | ||
| And then everything else, it's like your basement flooding. | ||
| It's like, what can you do when you don't have a foot to stand on? | ||
| Well, you can't punch either. | ||
| Like, your punches are, they become like these windmill arm punches. | ||
| You can't pivot off your foot. | ||
| You can't place weight on it. | ||
| You're in agony. | ||
| It's like ready to give out. | ||
| And they don't show it. | ||
| Yeah, well, a lot of them don't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of them have an awesome poker face. | ||
| Like, it takes a while. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| It's the hardest, probably the hardest sport to ever compete in. | ||
| I'd be like, fuck. | ||
| If it's not the hardest sport to compete in, I'd like to know what is. | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| It's one of them. | ||
| Because strength, endurance, mental ability, you know, you're basically a quarterback and a running back and a linebacker at the same time. | ||
| The only thing that I would think might be harder to do is those ultra marathons when those dudes are running like we're talking about the Bigfoot 200. | ||
| When those dudes are running 205 miles over mountains. | ||
| That might be harder to do than an MMA fight. | ||
| Like if you thought of the amount of people that could fight in an MMA fight versus the amount of people that could run for 78 hours in a row, run 205 miles. | ||
| I think it's close. | ||
| Real close. | ||
| They're different things, obviously, because one of them is dealing with getting your ass kicked, but the other one is dealing with your own demons. | ||
| Like your demons, the wanting to quit demon. | ||
| And how much did you prepare? | ||
| Did you prepare properly? | ||
| What about the disciplined demon? | ||
| You know, the fuck off demon that tripped up the disciplined demon and you didn't get in good enough shape to really run 205 miles in 78 hours, which is just insane. | ||
| Man versus self versus man versus man. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| It's like the white whale versus a war movie. | ||
| You know, it's like you're battling. | ||
| It's like golf. | ||
| It's all about it. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| I mean, you always get the shot, right? | ||
| You get your own shot. | ||
| You set it up on the T, you get to whack it, you move it around. | ||
| No one's like knocking it out of the way for you. | ||
| It's not like pool. | ||
| They're not like hiding the ball on you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just you versus self. | ||
| 78 hours. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Fucking crazy. | ||
| That might be harder. | ||
| Might be harder than an MMA fight. | ||
| Yeah, because they're resilient. | ||
| I just can't even picture being awake that long. | ||
| Like, I've been up for 40 hours and I'm hallucinating. | ||
| You definitely hallucinate. | ||
| People hallucinate when they run. | ||
| When they run those races. | ||
| Yeah, I was hearing that guy on your show. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| No, the one about the baby in Everest. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was my friend Ben O'Brien. | ||
| Yeah, that was altitude sickness and altitude sickness and some sort of probably a stomach bug. | ||
| And the two of them together. | ||
| And he was just breaking, tripping balls. | ||
| He saw a baby, saw a wolf that didn't really exist. | ||
| Like, he was out of it. | ||
| I feel like if people aren't reacting to a giant baby that you see, that would be the crip. | ||
| Like, it's like, you guys don't see this giant baby. | ||
| You'd feel like such a fucking idiot. | ||
| He'd be like, oh, no. | ||
| What do I do now? | ||
| Like, that hits so many levels of primal shit. | ||
| Like, take care of the baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also, like, what the fuck is going on with this baby? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Fuck. | ||
| A baby just in the woods. | ||
| Imagine if you're just walking through the woods and you find a baby. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Like, you're deep in the woods. | ||
| Do you take the baby? | ||
| I feel like you got it, right? | ||
| But if you take, do you have to sit with the baby and go, hello? | ||
| I found a baby. | ||
| Anybody messing up babies right here? | ||
| But whoever, but if you steal the baby, it's like, you piece of shit. | ||
| I was just going to the bathroom. | ||
| You took my fucking kid. | ||
| I called. | ||
| I called out. | ||
| I didn't want you to know where I was. | ||
| I had my pants down. | ||
| Some crazy hood rat having a baby in the taking a shit in the woods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Baby baby over by a log. | ||
| But like, baby in wilderness, you should take the baby, right? | ||
| Yeah, you should just plop, you know, the baby down on the ground right next to where you shit. | ||
| Keep an eye on him and don't shit on them. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's owls and raccoons and all the things we've been discussing. | ||
| But you're like talking about shame of shit next to a baby with no memory. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a good argument, that's for sure. | ||
| Terrible argument. | ||
| Yeah, you got to watch those babies, man. | ||
| Look who you're saying, like how your wife started to get really concerned about things when she had a kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's what, that's a normal, natural thing. | ||
| That's why we get so freaked out when someone leaves their kid in a car. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| You left a baby in a car by itself. | ||
| Oh, you're not doing this right. | ||
| Yeah, that's when I really get triggered. | ||
| Like, if I hear child abuse stuff, that's when I'm like, that's what I think people are describing when triggered. | ||
| I literally get angry. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Child abuse stuff, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see somebody yank their kid. | ||
| I saw some lady kick her kid in a video online. | ||
| It was a baby, like a two-year-old at the most. | ||
| She kicked it like hard. | ||
| And the kid stiffened up, like probably got KO'd. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| It's horrible to see. | ||
| The kid was crawling around the ground, and she just kicked it. | ||
| Don't pull it up, please. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I saw you type it. | ||
| I'm like, you son of a bitch. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| It's just, that stuff is triggering, right? | ||
| Same with dogs. | ||
| Like, there was this video of some chick on a subway just hitting a dog, and I'm like, you know, ooh. | ||
| That just makes, like, it triggers everything in me that protects weakness. | ||
| Where I'm like, they can't protect themselves. | ||
| What about an ostrich though? | ||
| I'll punch the shit out of an ostrich. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| It's all about reeds. | ||
| They'll get cocky. | ||
| They'll get cocky on you. | ||
| They'll start pecking you. | ||
| Dude, even my chickens will come at me. | ||
| They'll be like super scared and then they'll start being a dick. | ||
| If you have bare feet, they'll go for your toes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think they might be able to eat a toe. | ||
| My brother fed it chicken, which is a little fucked up. | ||
| Ooh, that is fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, I don't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's how you get mad chickens. | ||
| Do they have mad chicken disease? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| It's like upset chicken. | ||
| It's like not quite as bad. | ||
| When we were on Fear Factor, I got attacked by an ostrich. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| If I was like an exaggerator, I would say it attacked me, but it definitely took a swing at me. | ||
| If you were BuzzFeed, you were attacked by a bostrid. | ||
| I grabbed his neck. | ||
| I was like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Like it came close enough where I had to do this and then push it away from me and get away from the fence. | ||
| They try to fuck you. | ||
| Fuck you up, rather. | ||
| They try to bitch some fucking, they don't want you there. | ||
| You're like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| They can like take a person, kind of, right? | ||
| They're not a small animal, you know? | ||
| And what's interesting is they have red meat. | ||
| They have ostrich burgers that you get at Fudruckers, and they're quite delicious. | ||
| And they're actually very high in protein, like much higher in protein, I think, than beef. | ||
| I think they're up there with like wild game, like in the neighborhood, like maybe not wild, not maybe not like wild moose or something like that, but in the neighborhood, like getting closer to that than it is to like beef. | ||
| And it's real lean. | ||
| But it's weird because it's like essentially, again, it's a fucking dinosaur. | ||
| You're looking at a dinosaur and you think like this is going to be like chicken. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not like chicken at all. | ||
| It's red. | ||
| It's a red meat. | ||
| It's a fucking crazy old raptor. | ||
| Who do you think like ostrich kangaroo? | ||
| Who do you got money on? | ||
| Dude, that's a good question. | ||
| The kangaroo, clearly, because they'll choke you. | ||
| Kangaroos will choke you. | ||
| Plus, they sit back on their tail and they fucking punt you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, I don't think an ostrich can fuck with that. | ||
| Ostrich is going to try to kick the kangaroo. | ||
| The kangaroo is like, bitch, you don't. | ||
| This is silly. | ||
| Can't sit back on your tail, bro? | ||
| It's like a guy who took like... | ||
| Is this a kangaroo versus an ostrich? | ||
| This is an actual fight? | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| It's an emu, but. | ||
| Oh, it's an emu. | ||
| It's close enough to a kangaroo. | ||
| That is like a kangaroo, right? | ||
| So it's a kangaroo and an emu, not an ostrich. | ||
| I thought an emu is like a peacock. | ||
| I don't know shit. | ||
| Oh, there is a guy. | ||
| Ooh, that thing looks scary. | ||
| See, I would have my money. | ||
| I don't know, though. | ||
| The emu is bigger for sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's got a bigger. | ||
| It's a big-ass emu. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| There's two of them. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a little-ass kangaroo. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That kangaroo is small. | ||
| They have big, giant kangaroos, man. | ||
| Some dude got fucked up by a kangaroo recently. | ||
| Whoa, this is a crazy little fight here. | ||
| The emu is all goofy. | ||
| He's like shucking and jiving. | ||
| All the fake moves. | ||
| He's trying to fake him out. | ||
| He's like, the kangaroo's like, I'm taking his food, bitch. | ||
| This is my food. | ||
| And the emu's like, oh, motherfucker, I'm taking that food. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| The emu is like literally like a Star Wars bird. | ||
| It doesn't even look real. | ||
| Look at the shagginess in that. | ||
| They're ready to go at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| It looks like it would fight like Jurassic, like just with its neck. | ||
| Ooh, you might be right. | ||
| It's like scary and like precious at the same time. | ||
| It's like, hello. | ||
| But the same posturing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not making a move. | ||
| Come on, bitch. | ||
| It's like a fancy... | ||
| It's like shit technique. | ||
| If I was a kangaroo, I'd just charge this bitch. | ||
| This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| I'm just going to move in on this. | ||
| There's three of them. | ||
| I bet if you smack one of them, the other two are just going to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha! | |
| Ha ha ha ha! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha! | |
| That's a stupid thing to think of. | ||
| Is there contact? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it's a bitch-ass fight. | ||
| They need to get one of those big, angry kangaroos. | ||
| That's a little tiny baby kangaroo. | ||
| Yeah, they'll sell those form. | ||
| At the end of the day, that kangaroo got all the fucking leaves. | ||
| Those stupid birds need to step the fuck back and respect the superiority of the mammal. | ||
| I'm on team mammal. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I think people should all be lumped in together as one unit, but it's us versus them when it comes to mammals. | ||
| Yeah, breastfeeding is big. | ||
| The mammary gland. | ||
| Yeah, if you have an egg, your kid comes out of an egg, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| You're not part of the conversation. | ||
| It's so old. | ||
| That's like driving around in some sort of a horse buggy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's hipster shit. | ||
| It's clearly their hipsters. | ||
| Imagine if your wife gave birth to an egg, so I sit on it and wait. | ||
| Just sit there, keeping that egg warm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ridiculous. | |
| But if it was like the penguin. | ||
| Yeah, penguins are like almost like they're like the frog, like the in-between. | ||
| Who the fuck are they? | ||
| The penguins fly. | ||
| They have to keep the baby on their feet. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| They have to put the baby up high on their feet. | ||
| Otherwise, it'll freeze if it touches the ground. | ||
| Yeah, because the environment, so they're like smart, social. | ||
| That's like nature just telling you, look, dude, your contributions are really non-valuable. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We're barely accepting this model still. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If it wasn't for the tuxedo, you guys are out. | ||
| They're essentially population control for local fish and they're food for leopard seals. | ||
| That's their position. | ||
| Just keep making those babies and keep holding on to those eggs. | ||
| It's a niche. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the dude, it's a weird society because the dude has to take care of the egg. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, the chick takes off, gets a bunch of fish, stuffs in her fat face, comes back, but it's a long-ass haul. | ||
| And during this long-ass haul, the dude has to take the egg and sit it on his feet. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| And he's got to protect it from the snow and the ground, the blizzard-like conditions. | ||
| And those are gender roles, not gender. | ||
| Yeah, look at that, man. | ||
| See, that's a male holding on to the egg, and the baby's about to be born. | ||
| Baby's like, I'm out of here, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, I'm cool with that. | ||
| Those are modern. | ||
| They're very modern birds. | ||
| Cute little fuckers. | ||
| They're like, just because I'm a man doesn't mean I can't sit on my fucking egg. | ||
| It's just weird because they're almost defenseless. | ||
| It's like nature's saying, like, you can't even fly, dude. | ||
| No. | ||
| We're not going to walk. | ||
| And yeah, when you're on the ground, you can't move fast. | ||
| We want you like lumbering barely. | ||
| You have to give birth on the ground. | ||
| The only time you can get away from anything is when you're in the water, but you're rarely in the water. | ||
| So stay on the ground and be vulnerable. | ||
| Yeah, like when they walk, it's so absurd. | ||
| If you played like a tuba, it's like a comedy. | ||
| Yeah, there's not a penguin Alive that I couldn't beat in a race. | ||
| I could be drunk and I'll beat them. | ||
| I'm like, come on, pussy. | ||
| Ready, said go. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| They're absurd animals. | ||
| But they do have predators, though. | ||
| How come it's not just like they're not wiped out? | ||
| Leopard seals are, they jack them, but they can only eat so many. | ||
| Leopard seals are fucking huge, man. | ||
| Because a leopard seal killed a photographer a few years back. | ||
| It was the first time ever. | ||
| Which is weird because apparently they're very intelligent too. | ||
| And they've actually brought photographers and divers. | ||
| They brought them seals. | ||
| They'll kill a seal or a penguin. | ||
| Not a seal, a penguin. | ||
| They'll kill a penguin and bring it over to a photographer to try to like the photography, like, eat. | ||
| Come on, man, eat. | ||
| Like, he was hungry. | ||
| And they've tried to help them. | ||
| And they've hung out with them for days on end. | ||
| It's really some amazing footage of those things. | ||
| But as far as I know, they very, very rarely attack people. | ||
| And that was the only incident that I had ever heard of where they had killed somebody. | ||
| But it was pretty recent. | ||
| Like within the last 10 years, I think. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They don't look real, man. | ||
| Leopards? | ||
| Have you ever seen them? | ||
| That's one right there. | ||
| Look at the teeth on that thing. | ||
| Look at the fucking teeth in that thing. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| She opened her mouth and her head was twice as large as a grizzly bear's head. | ||
| What in the fuck, man? | ||
| Like, how come when we were kids, we never heard about this? | ||
| Look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| So this is the leopard seal that was trying to feed the photographer. | ||
| So the photographer, what is this site, Jamie? | ||
| This is on Imager. | ||
| It's just a series of pictures. | ||
| You can find it, folks. | ||
| I have faith in you. | ||
| But they're worth looking at. | ||
| These photos are amazing. | ||
| This creature doesn't look real. | ||
| Like, look at the face on that thing with the teeth. | ||
| It looks like the thing from Neverending Story, like the smiling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where it's like, hey, man, you want some fish? | ||
| And just think about the mass of this thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With a face that's twice as large as a grizzly bear's head. | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| Just think about how fucking big a grizzly bear is, dude. | ||
| That's twice as big. | ||
| It's like this enormous avatar demon that lives in the water and eats penguins. | ||
| They're amazing, man. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| I mean, it's just one of the most astounding and overlooked, underappreciated animals in the ocean. | ||
| Yeah, I never knew any of this until right now. | ||
| It's a fucking mammal. | ||
| You know, I mean, look at that thing. | ||
| Just chilling there. | ||
| It's like smiling. | ||
| It's like, hey, man. | ||
| It's fucking a huge killing machine, man. | ||
| Bro, you need a penguin? | ||
| I got a guy. | ||
| I mean, when you think about seals, what do you think of? | ||
| You think, oh, those cute little fellows hanging out and eat some fish? | ||
| Not this motherfucker. | ||
| This is a murdering machine, and it's the biggest one, right? | ||
| So this is a big-ass giant seal that just kills shit. | ||
| What? | ||
| Like, do they hang with the other type of seals? | ||
| I wonder if the other seals have, like, websites dedicated to shitting on the leopard seals. | ||
| Or talk about leopard seals. | ||
| Leopard privilege. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Privilege and. | ||
| Prejudice, all of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Leopard seal privilege is real, bro. | ||
| It's so real. | ||
| It's the most real thing in the world. | ||
| You know what's fucked up is like sexism does exist. | ||
| You know, shit thinking does exist. | ||
| Like real hardline, dopey, right-wing ideology does exist. | ||
| But when you pretend that ideas that oppose you are those things, that all the ideas that oppose you are super alt-right. | ||
| And like, that's one of the things they've been doing with Jordan Peterson recently. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| Ask these, these, these, the authors of these articles about him of Charlottesville and all these different things, they've have him lumped, Jordan Peterson, have him lumped in. | ||
| And actually, not Charlottesville, because of the Google memo. | ||
| Have him lumped in with far-right. | ||
| They called him a far-right conservative. | ||
| It's just not true. | ||
| It's just not true. | ||
| Well, it also muddies the water so there's no meaning. | ||
| And they call him alt-right. | ||
| He's not alt-right. | ||
| He's goddamn, he's a professional intellectual. | ||
| So go to a genius. | ||
| He's absolutely a genius. | ||
| And a kind person from what I've heard about him. | ||
| Very kind. | ||
| Very sweet guy. | ||
| I really enjoy talking to him. | ||
| He's genuine. | ||
| And he has real concerns about all these things. | ||
| And I think very valid concerns, in particular about people wanting to enforce their ideas on other people and make people behave a very certain way. | ||
| And there's a real inclination that people have for that. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| And you're seeing that with Charlottesville. | ||
| I mean, part of the reaction to all this stuff, part of the reaction to all this stuff is realizing that this kind of thinking can exist, right? | ||
| This shit that you didn't expect to see can just pop up like that. | ||
| Like, I almost think we have to see it to know it's real. | ||
| Yeah, because I thought a lot of this was gone. | ||
| Like, I was fairly naive about it. | ||
| Because I hear people overuse these words all the time, and I'm like, no, these people are gone. | ||
| We beat these people. | ||
| We don't even want them adopt highways. | ||
| And you call other people Nazis that aren't that. | ||
| It fucks the whole thing up. | ||
| That's not a Nazi. | ||
| That's a Nazi. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There they are. | ||
| And you have to be able to identify it. | ||
| It's also extremely shitty to people that have been victims of actual Nazis where you're like, oh, a microaggression at Brown isn't my fucking grandmother in an oven. | ||
| That's not the same thing. | ||
| There's other words too, man. | ||
| I mean, the problem is that it's an indefensible word. | ||
| You call someone a Nazi and it's indefensible. | ||
| You put them on their back heels and then they have to deal with that. | ||
| Well, that's what annoyed me about the right when I was a kid was sinner or like because of Jesus. | ||
| Where it's like it's a conversation ender. | ||
| And that's why I saw almost that flip where now I see the left doing it where it's like racist. | ||
| It's like, dude, we're arguing about like a proton. | ||
| Like, what does this even mean? | ||
| It's just like a way to end a conversation. | ||
| And I'm like, it's starting to act. | ||
| Yeah, it's starting to act like a religion. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Where it's like white guilt is original sin and then being woke is baptism and veganism is kosher. | ||
| And it's starting to line up. | ||
| You know Kurt Metzger? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Love Kurt. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy. | ||
| He grew up Jehovah's Witness. | ||
| So, you know, he's super resistant to any like enforced ideology. | ||
| And he's like, no, no, no, I've seen this before. | ||
| You can't tell me what's right is wrong or right is left and left is right. | ||
| He's like, I know what you're doing. | ||
| I've seen this before. | ||
| I've seen this when I was a Jehovah's Witness. | ||
| And I was like, that's exactly what it's like. | ||
| It's like this enforcing this and silencing debate. | ||
| Like there was one of the things that was talked about in the Google memo that I thought was fascinating was that certain subjects are too sacred to be discussed. | ||
| And that is one of them, like gender and tech. | ||
| Apparently, I don't work in tech, obviously. | ||
| But gender in specific, like any women's issues, you're not supposed to discuss them as a man. | ||
| And any men's issue discussed by a woman is like the thought of a woman trying to steal your money or come up with sneak your divorce laws. | ||
| We don't want anybody having any opinion whatsoever about a side that they're not on. | ||
| And that's women's growth, and it's the opposite of science. | ||
| Like, science is skepticism. | ||
| The whole thing is ask why until you hit a wall. | ||
| You know, it isn't like, do not address this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people get labeled toxic and just kicked out. | ||
| Toxic is a dumb one. | ||
| Toxic is a dumb one. | ||
| Toxic masculinity. | ||
| And by the way, there's a lot of women that are evolutionary psychologists that know a shitload more about men than even men do. | ||
| Of course, for sure. | ||
| They do. | ||
| And you got to listen to them if they're explaining the actual evolutionary mechanisms that have caused human beings to behave a certain way, why more men are inclined to favor specific activities. | ||
| And you look at all the different numbers and variables that you could look at in terms of how many more men die on the job, how many more men pick difficult jobs. | ||
| And also this weird thing that we're doing where we're trying to pretend that things are different than they really are to sort of support your point better. | ||
| Like that's one of the things that people do with the gender pay gap, right? | ||
| They always want to say, well, the gender pay gap shows is real prejudice between men and women. | ||
| No, no, no, it's not what it shows at all. | ||
| It shows that women and men choose different jobs. | ||
| And when I told a good buddy of mine that, he didn't believe it. | ||
| He was like, there's no way. | ||
| I go, that's what the gender pay gap is. | ||
| He goes, no, I thought it was like women and men doing the same job, and the woman makes 77 cents on the dollar. | ||
| No, no, no, that would be horrible, right? | ||
| That's not what it is. | ||
| They choose different jobs. | ||
| You look at men and women doing the same job, the difference is very small. | ||
| And when he found that, he was angry. | ||
| He was like, are you fucking serious? | ||
| This happened to me. | ||
| I got pissed. | ||
| You get mad because you hear the president, President Obama was talking about that on television. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Surely someone must have alerted him, Mr. President. | |
| This is a disingenuous line of thinking. | ||
| Mr. President, this is nonsense. | ||
| This is not real. | ||
| It's like they took every man and woman and just put a line at the 50th percentile. | ||
| And anyone who knows anything about math, that's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like there's so many factors. | ||
| It's the factor of having a child. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, so then you quit for 10 years, you come back, you're going to make less money. | ||
| That all goes into the pay gap thing. | ||
| Or if you even quit for a few months. | ||
| I mean, you know, whatever it is, the time that you have to take off, that's going to, They work less hours, rather. | ||
| They take less overtime. | ||
| It doesn't mean that they're not just as good at a job as a man is at a job. | ||
| It just means that overall, they're probably going to earn less money in that sort of scenario. | ||
| They choose different jobs. | ||
| They work less hours. | ||
| That's just, I'm not saying that that's, you know, they don't get some sort of discrimination. | ||
| I wouldn't want to be a chick work with a bunch of dudes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wouldn't want to be that. | ||
| That's a different argument. | ||
| I think women working with guys, I think that would be terrible, especially if you're attractive. | ||
| If you're attractive women, you got to work with like 10 dickheads at some stupid fucking UPS office. | ||
| I bet it sucks. | ||
| I bet those guys are annoying as fuck. | ||
| They say stupid shit about you behind your back. | ||
| I'm sure it's horrible. | ||
| But that's a different argument. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's not saying, okay, we're not saying that there's not some discrimination. | ||
| I'm sure there is. | ||
| But that's not saying that that's happening in tech to the point where there's a reason why there's 10 men and four women. | ||
| That doesn't necessarily make sense. | ||
| And as soon as you do that, like what you said, equality of outcome. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's a perfect way to describe it. | ||
| Yeah, because it guarantees that you're going to have a problem. | ||
| And it also, the biggest victim are women that feel like they have to be a CEO and a mom to be like normal. | ||
| And it's like, that's an impossible position to put somebody in. | ||
| Where it's like if your instinct wants a child, but you don't want to slip at work at all, it's like, dude, working's for puds. | ||
| Like, my wife made life with her body. | ||
| And I'm just like, I did the funny bone. | ||
| Here's more money. | ||
| It's like. | ||
| I agree, but I also could see it from the point of view from a woman that doesn't want that in her life. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I'm just talking probability. | ||
| Just the fact they have a womb is going to affect probability. | ||
| You know, even if it's 1%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if it's 1%. | ||
| I would never tell a woman that she has to have kids or not pursue any life that they want. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Well, I don't think anybody should tell anybody what to do. | ||
| I mean, that's the whole point of all this. | ||
| But I think we should also stop pretending that there's not some sort of meritocracy going on when it comes to most corporations and most jobs. | ||
| You know, whatever discrimination that there is, boy, I really hope that gets rooted out so we can concentrate on what's important. | ||
| And what's important is people finding something they enjoy and doing it without discrimination and doing it without, you know, having to deal with too much resistance from the people that you're doing it with. | ||
| You know, that's a harmonious life, right? | ||
| Find something you love. | ||
| Find some sort of a path of least resistance to get to it where you can really enjoy it and participate in it, hopefully with like-minded people. | ||
| Like one of the things that I've always been really happy about the store and about stand-up comedy in general is that it's a brotherhood and a sisterhood. | ||
| Like when Whitney Cummings comes around the comedy store, she's as much my brother or sister as any of the other guys, as Andrew Santino, as any of these guys. | ||
| We're a family there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| And there's not a whole lot of us. | ||
| There's very few. | ||
| And if you get through and you're funny, if you're Sarah Silverman or, you know, name that person, you're treated with the same amount of respect that guys are. | ||
| At least I would hope. | ||
| At least in the circles of the people that I enjoy you are. | ||
| At least you're held up to the same standards as well. | ||
| And you're also like, you ask people who's funny. | ||
| We like funny people. | ||
| If you say, hey, did you see Sarah do her set in the main room? | ||
| Holy shit, did she fucking crush, dude? | ||
| Like people will tell you. | ||
| And it's like, there's no sexism when it comes to that. | ||
| It's a total results-based appreciation standard. | ||
| Yeah, it's like fighting and comedy is the same way. | ||
| The stakes are so high, you develop a no-nonsense vibe where it's like, dude, bombing sucks. | ||
| So like I can't say, like, I have to just be like, what joke is funny? | ||
| Like, I can't do the nonsense. | ||
| Just like with fighting, it's like, well, if you commit to just, you know, taekwondo and not do the full package of jiu-jitsu and all that shit, like you're at a disadvantage. | ||
| So it's like that, that identity can hurt you if you don't branch out into like what works. | ||
| You know, I don't know shit about fighting, obviously, but I've just heard you talk about like just that well-rounded grappling and striking and all that shit. | ||
| Like the stakes are so high That you can't really be nonsense. | ||
| The only other option is you got to be a specialist at such a high level that you're better than everybody else at one thing. | ||
| Like you get that with this guy, Damian Maya, who just lost actually, to a guy who's more well-rounded, ironically. | ||
| But he's been able to beat so many world-class fighters just because he's so amazing at jiu-jitsu, gets a hold of guys, drags him to the ground, and either strangles him or gets really close to strangling him to the point where he dominates all the exchanges. | ||
| He's done that with like, I think he beat six or seven guys in a row, and really good guys, by really, like Carlos Condit, former interim welterweight champion, strangled him, got him on the ground, choked him out. | ||
| So it's like, there's a few guys that can do that, but for the most part, you got to be able to do everything. | ||
| And I think if you have blind spots when it comes to like things that you, if you're like, if you're a blind spot, the blind spot is you don't respect women. | ||
| Or you have a blind spot, you don't like black people, or you don't like gay people. | ||
| If you have a real blind spot, that's going to emanate through all your thinking. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| It's going to fuck up your logic and how you look at anything that happens in the world that you try to turn into a bit. | ||
| That prejudice thinking, like if you have that kind of stupid hate and anger or resentment, whatever it is in your mind where you're not thinking clearly, you're going to miss things. | ||
| You're not going to be as good as you want to be. | ||
| You're not going to be at your best. | ||
| That's why I do a podcast, Why Didn't They Laugh? | ||
| Where like I literally just, I don't always do it because I'm not always on the road, but I'll just show bombs and just almost like it's like sports where I'm like, why didn't that work? | ||
| And it motivated me to try shit a lot because I was like, okay, I got an hour. | ||
| I got to want to do another hour. | ||
| So let's make it fun that like I get to be like, oh, this one was on me. | ||
| I rushed this one. | ||
| You know, this tag offended Miami. | ||
| You know, like shit like that. | ||
| Like where it's humbling to re-listen to yourself and show people. | ||
| Like I did a documentary 60 Minutes in Seven Days where I wrote a new hour in a week just to just shop. | ||
| Oh, I remember that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You did that a few years back, right? | ||
| When you were out here? | ||
| Yeah, my wife was pregnant. | ||
| So it was like maybe, yeah, two years, maybe. | ||
| And so it would just be like, watch me just struggle, you know? | ||
| And I maybe got 15 minutes out of it, but it was just like heavy bag work. | ||
| You're amazing, though. | ||
| You got 15 minutes in that short of a time. | ||
| Like, how long would it take you to make 15 minutes in a normal time? | ||
| I mean, if I'm in the wrong mindset, like we discussed, I could do that for 30 years. | ||
| You see guys do that, you know? | ||
| If you're like in the mindset of like, oh, this works, so I'm just going to do that. | ||
| But if you're in the growth mindset, you're like, because I love doing new shit, you know? | ||
| Well, isn't it interesting like you coming from a music background, like you've been playing piano, like you said, as long as you can remember. | ||
| That requires practice, right? | ||
| It requires dedication. | ||
| You have to be dedicated and sit down and practice. | ||
| That is one of the major things that comedians lack. | ||
| They don't practice. | ||
| We don't write. | ||
| We don't sit down and go over the material. | ||
| We don't listen to the old recordings. | ||
| Like when I force myself into doing that just four or five times a week, just force myself for an hour at a time. | ||
| It's like a giant accomplishment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And sometimes it hurts, especially to listen to old sets. | ||
| Like, oh my God, just the mistakes. | ||
| And like, even when you were like, okay, there was a crazy bomb in that one. | ||
| It's going to make for a great episode. | ||
| And then, and then like my instincts are like, you don't want to relive that, man. | ||
| It's like that bachelorette party. | ||
| Like, dude, I got spit on on Christmas. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Did you make a video about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw that video. | ||
| And it was like, you know, there's a strong instinct of me to put out my best shit all the time. | ||
| But like part of me also wants to be like, this also happens, man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, even like shit, you know, I'll be playing like Beethoven, like, my blinkers on with like, with like jokes, and I'll just die. | ||
| And I'm like, why didn't they laugh? | ||
| People are in India. | ||
| They just decide somewhere along the line. | ||
| I don't like this guy. | ||
| A little too tall for my taste. | ||
| Fuck this guy. | ||
| Wearing a suit. | ||
| This guy was some kind of gay guy. | ||
| Probably anti-white power. | ||
| Probably doesn't even have a tattoo on his forehead. | ||
| Where's your fucking swastika, bar? | ||
| Got it on your ass cheek. | ||
| I was in Kansas City once. | ||
| I walked out in a suit and someone yelled faggot before I said one word. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Good club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Literally just goes, I was like, I haven't said one word. | |
| It's a good work environment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine any other job. | ||
| We show up for work and they just scream faggot at you and they paid to be there. | ||
| Yeah, it's called systemic oppression. | ||
| There's any other job that would never be accepted. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| Just people throw shit at you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if you're like a school teacher. | ||
| Dude, I used to be a heckler at a Renaissance Festival in a stock. | ||
| Yeah, that was my high school job. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| And people were throwing tomatoes in my face all day long. | ||
| And you'd mock them? | ||
| Mock them. | ||
| That's what I learned. | ||
| I learned to mock what people have pride in, not what is. | ||
| Where it's like a 400-pound man, fatness doesn't matter. | ||
| Someone 10 pounds overweight, it'll crush them. | ||
| Ooh, that's good. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Yeah, where it's like. | ||
| Get a little fucking soft in the middle there, Michael. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| Your wife's too hot for you. | ||
| I'm fucking young me, TikTok, TikTok. | ||
| You know, they freak out. | ||
| Because I was getting paid based on the tomato thrown. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So I had to like. | ||
| It was $5 for three tomatoes, and my goal was always to beat the joust. | ||
| And dude, I used to get drunk on mead and just let people slap me in the face for $20. | ||
| $20 a full power slap? | ||
| I would judge the man. | ||
| But like, it would be like, because people wouldn't be able to hit me if I got in their head. | ||
| They'd just like throw into the ground. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It was like, once you own it. | ||
| But my friends, I was like Kurt Metzkurt. | ||
| You know, didn't fall for the shit. | ||
| Like, I'd be like, you. | ||
| And it's like, now we know you're just Owen. | ||
| When just unleashed. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Dude, I got to wrap this up. | ||
| It's almost five o'clock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Time flew by. | ||
| Dude, this is great. | ||
| Four hours and like 15 minutes, about 15 minutes. | ||
| It's definitely a highlight of my week. | ||
| Dude, thank you very much, man. | ||
| I really enjoyed it. | ||
| It was fun, Owen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm glad we did it. | |
| We should do it again, for sure. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter, all that job. | ||
| Hugepianist.com and at Owen Benjamin. | ||
| Pianist, Pianist. | ||
| Pianist, yeah. | ||
| Piano player. | ||
| Yeah, and I got Dallas, Plano, and the United Kingdom and Ireland coming up. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Funny, dude. | ||
| Owen Benjamin, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Thanks, Joe. | ||
| Good night. | ||
| See you tomorrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. | |
| Cheers. | ||
| Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for tuning into the podcast. | ||
| Thanks to meUndies for creating one of my balls through this Entire interview. | ||
| Appreciate you. | ||
| Now until August 31st, get 20% off your first pair plus free shipping at meundies.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| Thank you also to Squarespace. | ||
| Make yourself a motherfucker of a website at squarespace.com forward slash Joe. | ||
| Go there. | ||
| For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, visit squarespace.com forward slash Joe. | ||
| And thank you each and every episode to Onit. | ||
| Our goal is your total human optimization. | ||
| Motherfuckers. | ||
| Oh, and IT, use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| God, that was fun. | ||
| Nice to be back. | ||
| Had a good time. | ||
| Good time while I was away, but now I'm back. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'll see you guys tomorrow. | ||
| Much love. | ||
| Oh, tomorrow we have two podcasts. | ||
| I'm doing one with Tom Billieu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| If that was my name, I'd be self-conscious. | ||
| It's too hard to pronounce. | ||
| This guy's going to fuck it up. | ||
| Like, if you leave your name at like the Maitre D at a restaurant. | ||
| Tom Billie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
B-I-L-Y-E-U. | |
| It's a tricky one. | ||
| Anyway, he's on tomorrow at 1.30. | ||
| But I also have Brendan Schaub who'll be on at 10 a.m. | ||
| And we're going to do a breakdown of the Conor McGregor Floyd Mayweather fight. | ||
| Perhaps two hours of breaking down that fight and getting silly. | ||
| That should be fun. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And then, but of course, on Friday, August 18th, it will be the JRE 1000. | ||
| Dun dun dun. | ||
| The 1000th episode. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| With two of the funniest people ever. | ||
| Tom Segura and Joey Diaz. | ||
| I cannot wait. | ||
| I cannot wait. | ||
| That will be on Friday. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And then we have that show Friday night, which is at the comedy store, which is all sold out. | ||
| So see you guys soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. |
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