Dec. 23, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:07:19
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Why were you looking at me so sly, Jamie? | |
| You made me nervous. | ||
| Making sure you were ready to go. | ||
| You made me nervous. | ||
| I was like, what is he doing? | ||
| Is he playing? | ||
| Are we already live? | ||
| We're fucking live. | ||
| So I tweeted something today that somebody tweeted me, or I read something that somebody tweeted, so I quoted it, but it wasn't right. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It was pretty close. | ||
| That Donald Trump will be 70 years old in six days? | ||
| So it is? | ||
| Seven months and six days. | ||
| Seven months. | ||
| 70-year-olds, 70 years old, seven months and six days. | ||
| Almost 70 years old, seven months and seven days when he becomes a president. | ||
| And he won by 77 electoral votes from seven electors. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Happy seventh anniversary of the JRE, too. | ||
| This is basically it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| That's a lot of sevens. | ||
| A lot of sevens. | ||
| Why are you obsessed with sevens? | ||
| Like, why is your shirt... | ||
| It came from the JRE. One time we were talking about how we were in a simulation theory and how everything's made out of ones and zeros. | ||
| And I said something like, I'm going to hack it. | ||
| I'm going to start saying sevens or something. | ||
| I can't even remember what it was, but it's all from that. | ||
| So this is your shirt that has all sevens in it. | ||
| Yeah, it's all made from sevens. | ||
| This is just a bunch of different color sevens to make the artwork. | ||
| And this sweatshirt is the Squad 7-11 shirt. | ||
| Why sevens, though? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It came from the JRE from a long time ago. | ||
| But just out of nowhere. | ||
| Out of nowhere. | ||
| I have no idea why. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine if that's proof. | ||
| If people look back on this and they realize there really is a simulation. | ||
| You tap into it. | ||
| You make things happen with your own brain. | ||
| I think the older I get, the more crazy I get because I believe it more. | ||
| You know, like I start feeling like I go crazy sometimes. | ||
| I don't necessarily think it's crazy. | ||
| I think it's crazy to think that it's impossible that it's a simulation. | ||
| Just think about what we're doing. | ||
| If no one was in this room but us, obviously we're doing a podcast, but if no one's in this room other than us, we're looking at each other through our eyeballs. | ||
| We're thinking about it inside of our brains. | ||
| We're assuming that we're all operating in the same area. | ||
| I'm assuming you see what I see. | ||
| I'm assuming like what I think of as the reality around you is what you, but I have zero evidence other than photos. | ||
| And again, I'm looking at those photos and my interpretation of those photos, who knows what you're seeing? | ||
| I have no idea what you're seeing. | ||
| Then we're dealing with language, trying to formulate words that match your thoughts, and they almost never do. | ||
| Like, that's one of the number one problems that people have with politicians, right? | ||
| We know in some weird way that their words and their thoughts are not in sync. | ||
| Like, we want your words and your thoughts to be in sync, but it's fucking hard to do, man! | ||
| It's like one of the unspoken things about being a person, is how fucking difficult it is to get your thoughts to come out the way you're feeling them with your words. | ||
| It's very hard to do. | ||
| You can make something that's so eloquent and articulate and it would be amazing to read and it's a quote that people might have on their fucking Instagram page for the next decade, but did it really represent what you were thinking? | ||
| Or was it just a clever collection of words that strikes an effect? | ||
| So when people are just talking, not like reading someone's writing or something, but just talking. | ||
| Like, man, it's fucking hard to get your brain, like what's coming out of your brain, to be represented by your voice. | ||
| That alone is way weirder than the fact that this is all fake. | ||
| That's way weirder than a simulation. | ||
| Just communicating, just shit we totally take for granted. | ||
| Then the fact that you can do it online. | ||
| I mean, how many of these fucking dudes have these YouTube channels and gals have these YouTube channels where they have fucking millions of people paying attention to them? | ||
| And it seems like, for the most part, Hollywood hasn't even figured it out yet. | ||
| They've dabbled in it. | ||
| They've given people shows like that Adam Ruins Everything guy, right? | ||
| He was a YouTube guy. | ||
| He's so great. | ||
| He's fantastic. | ||
| It's a funny fucking show, too. | ||
| He's really good at it. | ||
| And he's a gamer. | ||
| He twitches all the time. | ||
| I went on a marathon the other day watching it. | ||
| But then there's other people that are bad. | ||
| Like the guy from yesterday that was thrown off the Delta airline. | ||
| What happened with that? | ||
| So here's what happened, and then we found out that he's done this before. | ||
| He pretty much goes on airplanes and trolls, and he counts in Arabic. | ||
| Like 10, 9, 8, 7, and does shit like that. | ||
| And he's done it before. | ||
| There's videos of him doing it before. | ||
| So he pretty much just freaks everybody out, like, why is this guy counting down? | ||
| You know, it's like if anyone was on an airplane and counting down, it would still be weird. | ||
| Yeah, we need to, like... | ||
| For pranks, we need to figure out what's a prank and what is fucking with people's lives for a short amount of time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because the only way it goes legit is if the people have good nature and at the end they sign off on a release, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They have to sign off on a release for YouTube videos as well? | ||
| If there's any money attached to it, I would say yes, but I'm not a lawyer. | ||
| I wonder, yeah. | ||
| I wonder how that works. | ||
| But when you're scaring the shit out of people like that on a plane, you could really fuck with their head. | ||
| I know you're a young, fucking crazy guy who's fearless, who does those kind of videos, and you think it's funny. | ||
| But you've got to realize, there might be some grandma behind you. | ||
| There might be a five-year-old girl. | ||
| There might be a dude who has some serious tension issues. | ||
| It's not nice. | ||
| It's not funny enough for us to accept that. | ||
| But these boundaries get tested sometimes by, you know, really, in a lot of ways, brave performers. | ||
| It's a brave thing to do. | ||
| It's not smart. | ||
| It's not a good thing to do. | ||
| It's not thoughtful. | ||
| But it's hard to do that. | ||
| It's hard to go on a fucking plane and start counting down from 10 in Arabic and hope that nobody beats you to death before you say, hey, I'm just fucking around. | ||
| Just a YouTube video. | ||
| But it's also gross as fuck when you sell it yourself as like, oh my god, they're doing this to me. | ||
| They're so racist when you're trying to get that. | ||
| You're baiting them. | ||
| And you've got proof that you've done it before. | ||
| Yeah, that's not cool. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| That's just gross. | ||
| But we're talking about it, so he wins. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, really. | ||
| Man, it just seems like people want to figure out a way to get in, you know? | ||
| And there's so many people, like we were talking about, like that Adam guy or so many other ones, that have just a giant segment of the viewing population already. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of these channels that people have that people are just addicted to, like, listening to these people talk about shit. | ||
| And for you to try to break in and make your own channel. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| It's like there's still people that are doing it in the network way. | ||
| There's still shows that are on network television that... | ||
| That work like that, that are prank shows and shit like that. | ||
| Most of them are fake, luckily, you know, on YouTube. | ||
| And even in real life where they're, you know, fake reality, whatever, where they're half real. | ||
| You see too much these days. | ||
| Like, there's too much coming in. | ||
| I watched this guy sucker punch a grandma. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| It was a video where this old lady was behind this young dude and she was apparently bothering him. | ||
| And so he turns at the other cash register line. | ||
| He turns and sucker punches her full on in the face. | ||
| It just knocks her dead. | ||
| She falls back and no one does anything about it. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| The cashier freezes up. | ||
| The guy behind her who's an old guy freezes up. | ||
| No one knows what to do. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I shouldn't have seen it. | ||
| It's like why do I want to know that there's a circumstance where some young guy feels like he could sucker punch some looks like 80 year old lady and I'm not kidding. | ||
| She's like white-haired and and it doesn't look fake. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| That's just the shit that bugs me the most and it's just it's just these kids now you know that you know that they have no parents I saw I saw Bieber the other day had a horrible incident with Bieber and And it was one of the worst things I wish I never saw in my life because I used to always kind of like root for him a little. | ||
| You know, he seemed like a nice guy, especially after the roast. | ||
| He seemed like a cool guy down to earth. | ||
| But man, how he treated like this old guy and like how he was treating the staff at this place I was at. | ||
| It was one of the worst things I ever saw. | ||
| I had to leave. | ||
| Normal me would be recording. | ||
| Oh, let's sell this TMZ or do something crazy like that. | ||
| It was so gross. | ||
| I just wanted to get out of there. | ||
| I deleted all my tweets, cause I was live tweeting while I was there at the beginning, but then it got so bad that I just deleted all my tweets, and I was like... | ||
| Then he yelled at me. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Cause I had this dolphin hat on. | ||
| And he goes, Hey! | ||
| You like dolphins, man? | ||
| You love dolphins, bro? | ||
| Like, doing shit like that to me, and I'm just like... | ||
| I go, Yeah, I like to fuck dolphins, dude! | ||
| Like, I just start yelling at him. | ||
| Yeah, I went crazy. | ||
| You got a little crazy right there. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| True story, and you could ask my girlfriend, he got quiet after that for like three minutes, and then the table of guys that he was with were just staring at me, and when I was walking out, he just screams Olive Garden. | ||
| True story. | ||
| I promise you. | ||
| And so now I'm like, does he know who I am? | ||
| And that's why he was fucking with me? | ||
| Did he find out who I was after I yelled at him and he shut up? | ||
| Or what? | ||
| You're gonna have to live with that question. | ||
| I don't want to ever know the answer to it. | ||
| That question will haunt you. | ||
| But the horrible thing about it was that he was really treating people like shit. | ||
| That's super unfortunate to hear. | ||
| This old guy was staring down like, please don't talk to me anymore. | ||
| Please don't talk to me anymore. | ||
| Like you could tell he was just... | ||
| What is he, like 21 or something? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't even think it was him. | ||
| We thought it was like 14-year-old kids for like the first half of the time we were there. | ||
| We were like, wait a second, that tattoo looks familiar. | ||
| And then I was Googling Justin Bieber back of his neck. | ||
| Don't ever do that. | ||
| That's gross. | ||
| And then it was the exact same tattoos, like wings and like this weird writing. | ||
| I was like, holy shit, that really is him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| How many people, and this is a legitimate, honest question, how many people have ever gone through the fire of becoming famous when you're young and come out okay? | ||
| Has anybody? | ||
| Jodie Foster, right? | ||
| But I don't know her. | ||
| She might be crazy as fuck, right? | ||
| She's a really good actress. | ||
| She's a cutter. | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| She was really famous, really young. | ||
| Like, how old was Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver? | ||
| I want to go, like, super young. | ||
| I want to go, like, teenage years. | ||
| 19. I'll say 19. What would you say? | ||
| Oh, 15. 15? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She played a 12-year-old. | ||
| She was 13 when the movie premiered. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| She played a prostitute at the 10-year-old. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Dude, they made her play a prostitute at 12 years old. | ||
| What a mindfuck that must be. | ||
| You can't do that anymore, right? | ||
| No, you can't do that anymore. | ||
| Do you remember in that movie, Cape Fear? | ||
| Yeah, that's her, dude. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| You remember in that movie, Cape Fear, when Robert De Niro had... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was her name? | |
| Juliette Lewis? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Suck his fingers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wasn't that in that movie? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was that in that movie? | ||
| Am I just a freak? | ||
| Am I just making shit up? | ||
| I have this vague memory of some really weird twisted seduction scene. | ||
| Yeah, she's sucking his finger. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little cross-eyed almost. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Fucking bangs. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| She was supposed to be like... | ||
| She was 17. She was 17 when he did this? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So that's the loophole. | ||
| When it says that's what it says. | ||
| Oh, Daily Mail. | ||
| Okay, they wouldn't lie. | ||
| 17-year-old even shared a kiss and a thumb sucking in a scene with De Niro. | ||
| That's dark, dude. | ||
| Because De Niro had to be deep in his 40s then. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| 17? | ||
| That should be illegal. | ||
| That's a loophole. | ||
| Yeah, that's a loophole. | ||
| Just because it's in a movie, you can't fuck that kid. | ||
| You probably shouldn't have a 17-year-old sucking your thumb. | ||
| But my point was that this was a long time ago, and we didn't look at things the same way a long time ago as we do today. | ||
| It's more evidence that there's some weird, gigantic shift in the way people are recognizing and understanding the consequences of things like child abuse, you know? | ||
| Things like that. | ||
| Man, that's weird. | ||
| I saw a creepy guy at the mall the other day looking at the Boy Scouts. | ||
| They were wrapping presents. | ||
| Maybe he just used to be a Boy Scout himself. | ||
| He was limber. | ||
| I would say the same thing if he wasn't rubbing his dick against the railing. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe he just barely could stand up. | ||
| He was three stories up and just rubbing his dick left and right on his railing, staring straight down. | ||
| Did you hear about the security guard at the NFL game the other day? | ||
| No. | ||
| He was caught on video jacking off to a cheerleader right in front of him. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Watch this video. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, I'm just... | |
| He's got his hands in his pants. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I've seen too much. | ||
| I've seen too much. | ||
| I don't need to see that. | ||
| I've seen too much. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Right in the middle of everyone, there's people all around. | ||
| I feel like he must be just getting his rocks off in the biggest way possible. | ||
| I'm a freak! | ||
| What a security guard. | ||
| Fucking, what a world, dude. | ||
| I wonder if that's real. | ||
| Yeah, but it's real. | ||
| So my thought was that this Bieber kid, you know, I mean, has anybody ever gone? | ||
| Well, I guess people have gone through that and become more friendly. | ||
| But I had a friend of mine who just worked with another dude who was famous from the time he was young. | ||
| And they did a television show together. | ||
| And it's just like, oh, they have this. | ||
| He was like, I think that someone who grows up famous, unless you're like some really cool person who figures it out. | ||
| They have this attitude that everyone's supposed to just like them and that they're like above everyone else. | ||
| They have this idea in their head that it's almost impossible to break if you've known that your whole life. | ||
| Your whole life, from the time you were little, everybody's treating you like you're super special without you really having to earn it so much. | ||
| I guess you kind of earn it with your talent, you know? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He's very talented. | ||
| Well, how about like Ricky Schroeder? | ||
| You know, who's my friend, who was famous when he was really, really, really young. | ||
| Silver Spoons, riding a train, had an arcade game in his house. | ||
| Dude, he was in that movie The Champ. | ||
| I watched that when I was a little kid, it made me cry. | ||
| That was a harsh movie. | ||
| He was fucking good, man. | ||
| Like, anybody that gets famous that young has a crazy challenge in front of them. | ||
| For, like, figuring out life? | ||
| I couldn't imagine. | ||
| That Bieber kid's been famous since he was, like, what, 12 or something? | ||
| Yeah, and to be honest, he was 21-year-old drunk. | ||
| Like, blackout drunky. | ||
| He was that drunk. | ||
| Yeah, he was that drunk. | ||
| Well, think about how fucked up you get. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| When you're 42. Imagine. | ||
| But I've never been almost like a bully. | ||
| He was just yelling. | ||
| He was yelling at people. | ||
| Instead of, like, don't leave me alone and them being a dick, he was actually looking and yelling and pointing out people and talking shit about the restaurant. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Anyways. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| Alcohol, that's a big factor for sure. | ||
| Being a boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there's the thing about being dudes. | ||
| Being a dude is a lot like having a car that's just like a little too fast for the road. | ||
| Like, you're always pushing it. | ||
| Like, that's what being a dude is. | ||
| You know, especially guys growing up around a bunch of other guys. | ||
| They're all competing, wrestling and shit, outduding each other. | ||
| Like, it becomes, they feed off of each other. | ||
| People, you know, people feed off each other. | ||
| And men don't have enough outlets for natural male behavior. | ||
| You're just told, you shouldn't think like that. | ||
| You shouldn't be like that. | ||
| You know, you should be more aware. | ||
| You should be more kind. | ||
| That's all nice, and you're right, 100%. | ||
| But you've got to deal with the fucking biology of your body. | ||
| Your body wants to smash shit and fuck things. | ||
| That's what it's built for. | ||
| And so if you don't feed it, if you don't give it some sort of exertion, it's going to play tricks on you. | ||
| It's going to overramp stressful situations. | ||
| It's going to make you more upset at things, more easy. | ||
| It's going to make you more prone to getting pissed off in traffic. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| That has to be addressed. | ||
| People have to figure that out. | ||
| You can't just ask boys to just be better. | ||
| You've got to give them some sort of biological tools. | ||
| Obviously, I wasn't there. | ||
| And if I was there, I probably would have had probably the same Problems with it that you did. | ||
| But I can't imagine being that fucking kid. | ||
| I can't imagine being... | ||
| That girl, what's her name? | ||
| Lindsay Lohan? | ||
| She makes me sad. | ||
| Every time I see her, she makes me sad. | ||
| I see those pictures, I'm like, this poor kid is fucking swimming in space with no connector. | ||
| It's just like, she's gone. | ||
| She's a part of this giant machine of movies and TV and publicity and fame and covers of magazines. | ||
| And she was a baby. | ||
| A baby when she got into it. | ||
| She didn't know shit. | ||
| And that formed her whole life. | ||
| And people were like, oh, boohoo, poor her with all her money. | ||
| Listen to me, that money doesn't mean shit if you're crazy and you're smoking crack. | ||
| It doesn't mean shit. | ||
| It doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Your life is hell. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have to worry about food. | ||
| Okay, so your life is hell and you don't have to worry about food. | ||
| It's one notch better than your life is hell and you're starving to death. | ||
| But it's still your life is hell. | ||
| Paris Hilton's holding it together. | ||
| She kind of pulled away from fame, which might have been a really smart thing to do. | ||
| She might have felt the repercussions of all that hate. | ||
| Because nobody puts themselves out there in a position more so than someone who becomes a reality star. | ||
| Because when you become a reality star, you're sort of admitting that you don't do anything. | ||
| If you're just a reality star, you don't do anything. | ||
| You're not singing. | ||
| You're not reading books that you wrote. | ||
| You're not doing public readings of a book. | ||
| You're just being a person. | ||
| Everybody can fucking be a person, man. | ||
| It's one thing if you have a reality show. | ||
| Reality show about Kanye West. | ||
| Well, that's kind of interesting because who the fuck gets to be Kanye West? | ||
| Only Kanye West. | ||
| So if it was them following Kanye around, it would make more sense. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| It's them just living their life. | ||
| It's fucking genius in a lot of ways because they figured out by just kind of like being outrageously extravagant and opulent with their money and by, you know, constantly mixing in drama, they've been able to stay on TV for like 11 fucking years. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
| And in a lot of ways, look, it ain't any worse than a lot of the shitty fucking shows that are on TV today. | ||
| There's some terrible ass shows on TV. Why is that worse? | ||
| Because it's terrible and no one wrote it? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Is that the problem? | ||
| That it's worse? | ||
| Because if you made this up and it was terrible, it'd be alright. | ||
| Why is it okay? | ||
| There's an equal level of terrible all over television that nobody cares about. | ||
| But we care because it's just a bunch of people living their life and we can all do that. | ||
| If you had the kind of money, come on. | ||
| If young Jamie hit the lotto and all of a sudden got a 500-foot yacht and started balling hard Dan Bilzerian style all over Instagram... | ||
| All the Jordans. | ||
| And following you with a camera. | ||
| They could absolutely make a fucking reality show about that. | ||
| 100% absolutely. | ||
| It could be young Jamie freaking out, way too much pussy, not knowing what to do, and we have to pull him aside and go, dude, you gotta calm down. | ||
| Somebody should hit me up. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I mean, all you have to do is create a circumstance. | ||
| Create a circumstance. | ||
| If you're just a regular person, you know, I mean, that's all they are. | ||
| They're just regular people. | ||
| It's not like they're working for the Cirque du Soleil, and they have this insane physical stuff that they have to do, and they're working on it constantly, and I'm like, wow, that's fascinating. | ||
| I've never thought of how they prepare for this, but yeah, you'd imagine it would be pretty rigorous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Nope! | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Regular bitches going shopping. | ||
| Eating salads! | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| And I told him, like, what? | ||
| The way to get around that is to make a charity or something. | ||
| A charity? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the Nicole Richie charity of small animals. | ||
| Fight for the forgotten. | ||
| There's something up on my Instagram page right now. | ||
| I wanted to mention this because it's going on to the end of December. | ||
| There's a very cool company that makes Epsom salts. | ||
| If you go to Fight for the Forgotten, actually, waterfor.org, and then forward slash Fight for the Forgotten. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boy, that was a marble-mouth delivery, so I'll say that again. | |
| Water 4, the number 4. So water4.org. | ||
| That's the organization that Justin Wren, our friend, works with. | ||
| And Justin is building wells in the Congo. | ||
| He's a fucking beautiful person. | ||
| But anyway, they've raised a ton of money so far. | ||
| And it's going to provide clean water to a lot of people. | ||
| Waterford.org forward slash fight for the forgotten. | ||
| This is a really 100% beautiful story. | ||
| That guy's an amazing person. | ||
| And what he's done, I think, is just so selfless and loving and inspiring. | ||
| And I think people like him... | ||
| Doing shit like that, oh, I'm gonna cry. | ||
| People like him doing shit like that literally can change the world. | ||
| That guy, Justin Renn, can change the world just by being so loving and caring. | ||
| I mean, he goes down there and spends months and months at a time in the Congo. | ||
| And he's gotten malaria three fucking times. | ||
| I mean, he's like, he keeps getting it. | ||
| I mean, it's like wrecking his body. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Such a beautiful person, man. | ||
| And he's a heavyweight fighter for Bellator. | ||
| He used to fight in the UFC. He's a fucking animal. | ||
| I mean, he's just such a freaky dude. | ||
| It's like you meet people like that, and you go, oh, I guess I'm a piece of shit. | ||
| I'm not that nice. | ||
| I'm not going to the Congo. | ||
| I'll send you some money, man, but I'm not going to the fucking Congo. | ||
| I'm not getting malaria. | ||
| I'm not getting malaria. | ||
| At least I hope I don't. | ||
| But anyway, I don't know how we got on that. | ||
| I stone text you that you should work with Big Brother. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Well, let me explain this now, because I just remembered. | ||
| So, I guess all the profits for the whole month of December go to this. | ||
| So, if you buy Epsom salts from these people... | ||
| Epsok. | ||
| Epsoak? | ||
| That's the company? | ||
| Epsoak. | ||
| I use Epsom salts all the time. | ||
| First of all, for my isolation tank. | ||
| Second of all, just a nice hot bath. | ||
| It feels really good. | ||
| It's really good for your body, and it helps your body absorb magnesium. | ||
| You absorb magnesium through your skin. | ||
| You can, you know, with this, with Epsom salt baths. | ||
| Really good for you, man. | ||
| Good to gargle, too, like after a massage parlor. | ||
| What? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Blowing guys at the massage parlor? | ||
| The fuck, dude? | ||
| But, um, the Epsom salt baths are, like, super underrated. | ||
| Man, if you got, like, some tension and shit, throw some Epsom salts in the tub. | ||
| Just kind of, ooh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| I don't know why, right? | ||
| Have you floated lately? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have it in my basement. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm a floating motherfucker, dude. | ||
| That's where I figure shit out. | ||
| Probably too much. | ||
| I'm thinking too much, for sure. | ||
| I think about too many different things. | ||
| So I'm trying to narrow my focus more. | ||
| That's one of the reasons when I cut back on the UFC. I was like, I'm narrowing my focus, I think. | ||
| Just trying to do things that I think are... | ||
| That I'm compelled to do, you know? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You seem like you've been enjoying outside stuff more, like archery and stuff like that, hunting. | ||
| Where'd that come from? | ||
| Because you never had that before. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, it came from the first time I did it. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| The first time I went hunting and was successful, and I was like, okay, I get it now. | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| What a crazy thing to do. | ||
| And it's also, in a weird, odd way, there's a helplessness that you feel when you're in nature. | ||
| That I think is very, almost psychedelic. | ||
| Because when you go, not even hunting. | ||
| I'm just talking about go to a place where there's no cell phone signal at all. | ||
| Go deep into the woods. | ||
| And you will feel vulnerable as fuck. | ||
| You feel vulnerable. | ||
| And then you start thinking, holy shit, there's bears out here. | ||
| There's fucking mountain lions out here. | ||
| For real. | ||
| I'm in where they live. | ||
| This is where they live. | ||
| This isn't like a mountain lion in Santa Monica on some... | ||
| Freak incident. | ||
| This is like you're going to where they live and people don't live. | ||
| What's your hunting tech game like? | ||
| Do you have like night vision goggles and all the cool stuff so you can see the bear? | ||
| I don't have anything. | ||
| Well, you don't go out at night. | ||
| The only thing you do at night is like stay around the camp. | ||
| Stay around the campfire. | ||
| But even at night, it's weird, man. | ||
| We had a deer come into our camp once in the middle of the night and then realized he was around people and he started stomping on the ground and hoofing. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| I barely heard it. | ||
| The other guys had to remind me of it. | ||
| But it's just, animals do come into people's tents. | ||
| Bears do. | ||
| That's what gets scary, is big bears. | ||
| Especially when they're starving. | ||
| Big bears that are starving will take some fucking chances. | ||
| And one of Ranella's friends... | ||
| His first hunt ever, he was attacked in his tent by a 500 pound predatory black bear. | ||
| His friend shot the bear and hit him. | ||
| So shot him in the wrist. | ||
| And then the bear ran out of that tent, ran into another tent, and he shot it in the other tent. | ||
| A 500 pound predatory black bear. | ||
| Just the power that that thing possesses is so beyond any of our comprehension. | ||
| Like when you see their bodies, you see a bear's body and you think of a 500-pound bear, just think of what a 500-pound dog could do to you, right? | ||
| Just think of that, right? | ||
| A 500-pound dog. | ||
| Then, have you ever seen like a baby bear wrestle a dog? | ||
| It's fucking hilarious. | ||
| It's like Habib Nurmagomedov wrestling your grandmother. | ||
| This bear just throws this fucking dog around like it ain't shit. | ||
| It's a little cub. | ||
| It's a little baby bear. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my gosh. | |
| Look, the dog keeps fucking with them. | ||
| The bear's way smaller than them. | ||
| The bear's like, alright bitch, you wanna get crazy? | ||
| Alright, let's get crazy. | ||
| So they start going to war. | ||
| And the bear whips him to the ground. | ||
| But the dog keeps fucking with him. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Look at how he whips him around. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, he just throws him around. | ||
| He's way smaller than that dog. | ||
| And the dog's like, oh no, what have I done? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom, bitch! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Side control. | ||
| Like, the bear can do shit the dog can't do. | ||
| The dog can only bite. | ||
| But that bear has ridiculous power in those arms. | ||
| Show that last 15 seconds again. | ||
| Look, he throws him. | ||
| He uses his hips. | ||
| Like, look, go back a little bit. | ||
| This bear is like a fucking judo champ. | ||
| Like, watch, this is like some Cairo Parisian shit. | ||
| Look, boom! | ||
| He just throws him around. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| Look at how he throws him around! | ||
| That bear, that's like Daniel Cormier, that bear. | ||
| He uses his hips, man. | ||
| Like, instinctively uses his hips. | ||
| Now, imagine one of those that's 500 pounds and wants to eat you. | ||
| Imagine what the fucking sheer terror of that would be. | ||
| So that's not a good explanation for why I like to do it, but I like to do it just because it's nature. | ||
| I think it's like a fucking vitamin. | ||
| I think it's like a battery. | ||
| I think it's like an experience that once you tap into it, just being out there in nature... | ||
| It makes you understand what life is better. | ||
| It makes you understand the world better. | ||
| It makes you understand just the fact that this is just some weird living patch that's on the surface of a planet. | ||
| I mean, all those things, like, need to get exposed to you in, like, chunks in order for you to really truly absorb it. | ||
| Like, you could see, like, Mount Everest or some shit. | ||
| You could see it in a video and you're like, wow, pretty cool. | ||
| But I don't think you're really seeing it. | ||
| I think that's bullshit. | ||
| I think you're just seeing it. | ||
| It's a flat image, a lifeless flat image. | ||
| But if you were there and you could take it all in and your eye understands the perspective and you get the immense nature of what you're in front of, this fucking insanely huge mountain, then I think you'll experience it. | ||
| Until you go there, I bet you don't feel it. | ||
| So I think that's the same with that, you know? | ||
| It's like seeing a band that you don't think is that awesome, but then you see them live and you're like, holy shit, man, they fucking killed it. | ||
| it like Chicago rules, you know. | ||
| But one of my first nights when we first went camping, I was almost immediately aware of I was like, wow, this is a totally different feeling out here. | ||
| When you're in a city, you feel like we're all kind of pretty relaxed. | ||
| This is where we live. | ||
| Hey, you want to meet for lunch? | ||
| Yeah, where do you want to go? | ||
| Let's go to that spot. | ||
| Okay, is it on Ventura? | ||
| Yeah, let's go. | ||
| You know, normal, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| There's nothing like that when you're in the woods. | ||
| When you're in the woods, everywhere you're walking, you're like, okay, is a bear over there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is a mountain lion over here? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is a deer over there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, where are the life forms? | ||
| Where are the life forms? | ||
| Where's the ones that I want to eat? | ||
| And where's the ones that might want to eat me? | ||
| Where are these fucking things? | ||
| Is it stressful, though? | ||
| Dude, it's very stressful, but beautiful. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's not stressful in that, like, you're not really worried constantly of bears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But they're fucking real. | ||
| Like, bears aren't a myth. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're going to where they live. | ||
| Mountain lions are real. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| I mean, there's a giant fucking species. | ||
| It's a giant cat. | ||
| It's a 150-pound cat. | ||
| It lives in the forest. | ||
| It kills shit every day. | ||
| It's an expert at killing shit, and it's as big as you. | ||
| And if you run into it, you might be fucked. | ||
| You might not be. | ||
| But that was like some demon. | ||
| That was like some demon that got summoned here from another world. | ||
| And most of the time it only ate deer. | ||
| It only consumes deer to keep itself alive. | ||
| But every now and then, every now and then it snatches up a school child. | ||
| Just pulls a kid out of a fucking... | ||
| One of those little swing sets and hops over the fence with it before anybody can do anything. | ||
| Like, holy shit. | ||
| That happens, man. | ||
| There's this video I saw yesterday where this girl found this, like, baby bunny. | ||
| And she's like, oh my gosh, it's so cute. | ||
| And she's, like, petting it. | ||
| And she put it down. | ||
| And the second she puts it down, this bird just comes out of nowhere and picks it up. | ||
| Yeah, Hawk. | ||
| Hawk. | ||
| Hawk jacked it. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| Did you see the one where they got the night vision of the owl flying in and jacking the hawk? | ||
| No. | ||
| We think it's a hawk. | ||
| We don't know what it is. | ||
| It might be a pigeon. | ||
| I don't know shit about birds. | ||
| People might be like, Joe Rogo thought that was a hawk. | ||
| So it's a night vision. | ||
| It's like a security cam. | ||
| And as the owl's flying in, you see its eyes closer and closer and closer. | ||
| And then BAM! Check this out. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Now look off in the distance. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Those are the eyes. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Watch it come in. | ||
| Look at this dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Now, what kind of bird is that? | ||
| Look at its face. | ||
| It kind of looks like a raptor, right? | ||
| Or a falcon, right? | ||
| You know what, though? | ||
| It might just be because it's night vision. | ||
| It doesn't have that big of a beak. | ||
| What do you think it is, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, maybe some sort of hawk or something like that. | ||
| It seems like a, yeah, it seems like a raptor, right? | ||
| Like right there. | ||
| That looks like a murderous little bird. | ||
| So he got murdered by another murderer. | ||
| Those eyes are freaky. | ||
| But watch how he gets them, too. | ||
| He kicks them. | ||
| He gets low. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Dude, the power that those things have in their jaws, or in their claws, rather. | ||
| I mean, I don't think there's a way you could ever understand what it would be like to have a giant hand. | ||
| Like, it's probably as strong as, like, a person's hand. | ||
| And it's underneath the bird, and it's got knives on the end of it. | ||
| And they just... | ||
| Imagine if you had some big-ass Freddy Krueger claws, and that's what you'd do, just grab things and squish them, punch through them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I mean, think about how fucking bananas flying raptors are. | ||
| They're just big enough where they can't kill us. | ||
| Just big enough. | ||
| Just a little too small. | ||
| Just a little too small to kill us. | ||
| But if eagles could kill us, like if eagles were like the size of buses, we'd be fucksville. | ||
| We would have never invented the wheel. | ||
| They would have just jacked us into extinction. | ||
| We would be hiding in little holes in the fucking hills. | ||
| Would try to find anti-eagle technology. | ||
| That would be our number one concern. | ||
| How to kill the eagles. | ||
| Dude, that's a dragon. | ||
| Eagle's a dragon. | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| Maybe there were bigger raptors, and they killed them off. | ||
| Holy shit, there was. | ||
| There was one from New Zealand. | ||
| There was that... | ||
| We've talked about this... | ||
| I feel like fairly recently I read something about this, and I might have brought it up. | ||
| But there was a rat... | ||
| Yeah, we did. | ||
| There's an eagle in New Zealand. | ||
| I think it's called the Haas Eagle or something like that. | ||
| But it was fucking enormous, and people killed it off. | ||
| And it lived in New Zealand. | ||
| I think it had something ridiculous, like a 14-foot wingspan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And they do think that it's entirely possible to think this thing killed people. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why the New Zealand people killed it off. | ||
| Because it was like in the 1400s or some shit that they killed it off. | ||
| You find anything on it? | ||
| Yeah, they think that there's a video of a golden eagle snatching a kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fake. | |
| I know it was fake, but they were thinking it was one of those eagles. | ||
| People weren't sure if it was fake or not. | ||
| Oh, so when people weren't sure it was fake, they thought maybe there's like a few of those things still left in the wild? | ||
| Huh. | ||
| But it's in New Zealand, right? | ||
| Was that video from New Zealand too? | ||
| No, this is like a debunking video on National Geographic about it. | ||
| But it talks about those eagles. | ||
| I'm trying to find some stats on it. | ||
| Speaking of debunking, did you hear all the crazy shit that's going on with the Snopes? | ||
| What? | ||
| You know, that website Snopes, you're always thinking, well, this is a really reasonable website, and for sure, if I go to them, they'll have the answer. | ||
| The people who own it are fucking freaks, man. | ||
| Well, for sure. | ||
| Do you know the story? | ||
| No, I don't know the story, but I can guess there. | ||
| One guy left his wife and married a porn star, who is also an escort, an online escort. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| This is... | ||
| The guy apparently just divorced his wife and started bawling out of control. | ||
| He got a bunch of cash and decided to marry this gal. | ||
| But there's also some anti-Bush stuff about this too. | ||
| It's like someone in that group was involved in... | ||
| Some anti-Republican fundraising type activity or something along those lines, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| Young Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| I'm looking at... | ||
| Anyway, point is, these are just people. | ||
| Like, everybody's been saying that there's this Democratic lean towards the truth, like editorializing the truth on some of those sites, like Snopes, like everything. | ||
| How much of this is... | ||
| Are you absolutely sure? | ||
| You've done a little bit of research and come to your own conclusions. | ||
| How vetted is this stuff? | ||
| Who's in charge? | ||
| And then you find out, well, this is the people in charge. | ||
| These people are just freaks, balling out of control, marrying hookers. | ||
| Did they find this out when the Facebook fake news thing happened? | ||
| Yes, because those people were part of the team that was supposed to clean up the fake news. | ||
| And then there's a new thing that was supposed to be out today as a new tool that they think is going to be able to figure out fake news. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| We're fucked, folks. | ||
| People can just make shit up. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Crazy times. | ||
| Adobe released Photoshop for sound. | ||
| I don't know if you saw this video. | ||
| Photoshop for sound. | ||
| But what it can do is it can take like you can just say one sentence like I love tacos. | ||
| Oh, we showed that we talked about Yeah, I didn't have a good clip to find it because it didn't come up at the right time But we had a pretty decent clip. | ||
| There was one we showed a sentence that was pieced together from other stuff. | ||
| Yeah, man Do you think that's been available before they've announced this to the public on this big giant announcement party? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah! | |
| I would imagine that that's the kind of technology that it would take a long time to work on. | ||
| But are you saying, like, is it being used by nefarious sources? | ||
| I didn't say nefarious, but I mean... | ||
| It's not there yet. | ||
| You know what I think about all that stuff, that kind of thinking? | ||
| I think that technology is improving so quickly. | ||
| And I don't necessarily think that the people who are working for the U.S. government are the ones that are 100% in control of the information that gets released. | ||
| Like, these people that are constantly innovating and creating all these new products and these new technologies, they're not all working for the government. | ||
| They're just not, right? | ||
| Probably not today. | ||
| No, today I think it's a fucking river filled with salmon that are covered in baby oil. | ||
| And you can't grab one of these motherfuckers. | ||
| And they're, whoa, they're flying by you. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think shit's changing so quick, so fast, that that's why all these leaks and all these different things that pertain to elections and changing people's ideas are happening so quickly. | ||
| Like, I don't even know if we understand how nutty this is while it's happening to us. | ||
| Is it the new tool to visualize how fake news is spread? | ||
| Oh, the tool to visualize how it's spread. | ||
| Yeah, it's spread to Republicans. | ||
| You know what it is. | ||
| It's like South Park. | ||
| They retweet stuff. | ||
| They don't vet. | ||
| So do Democrats, too. | ||
| Everybody does it. | ||
| But it's like there was an article recently that said that people who are conservative are much more likely to be fooled by fake news. | ||
| But it was probably written by a liberal. | ||
| So who the fuck knows? | ||
| Is it weird to you that Alex Jones seems like he's blown the fuck up in the last couple years? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's blown the fuck up. | |
| It's not weird. | ||
| It's a fact. | ||
| Like, my mom knows who Alex Jones is now. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| People think that I'm somehow ducking him, that I don't want to have him on my podcast. | ||
| I would love to have Alex on my podcast. | ||
| People don't know. | ||
| Like, I have a very good relationship with Alex Jones. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He's my friend. | ||
| I hug him every time I see him. | ||
| I'm happy to see him. | ||
| I like that guy a lot. | ||
| And he's crazy. | ||
| He's not all crazy, but he's crazy. | ||
| But he's a good guy. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Alex Jones is a great fucking guy. | ||
| He stresses, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| He freaks. | ||
| He freaks. | ||
| You know, he needs a guy like me right next to him all the time. | ||
| That's what he needs. | ||
| Like, Alex Jones needs someone to go, Alex, are you sure that the elites are going to kill everybody off so they can live forever? | ||
| Are you fucking sure? | ||
| Because if you're not sure, you've got to stop saying it. | ||
| You know, he needs someone that's right there. | ||
| Like, I really think the problem with, like, conspiracy theories is they feel so good. | ||
| They feel great. | ||
| Like, when you think you really have footage of the Loch Ness Monster, holy shit, you feel good. | ||
| It doesn't matter if nobody wants to blow me. | ||
| When I get to work, I'm gonna rock the world, you know? | ||
| I think people who are constantly searching for conspiracies everywhere you go, like, man, like, talk about being, like, sucked into the plot. | ||
| Like, that's all you're concentrating on? | ||
| Is people who are lying and conspiring to make money or kill half the population or whatever the fuck it is they're doing? | ||
| What? | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| This is an attractive thought pattern. | ||
| That's the problem with these goddamn conspiracies. | ||
| There are attractive thought patterns that mimic real problem solving that could benefit you in real life. | ||
| So instead of actually paying attention to your real life, you get sucked into this idea of you being the one who's going to figure out who killed JFK. And you ride that fucking thing 12 hours a day, all day long. | ||
| And after a while, are you a researcher? | ||
| Or are you just a dude who's gone crazy paying attention to the JFK assassination? | ||
| Which one are you? | ||
| You gotta be careful because this feeling that you get when you chase down secrets and conspiracies, the government, the Illuminati, we're gonna expose this man! | ||
| It gives extra and exaggerated meaning to your time. | ||
| And anything that gives extra and exaggerated meaning to your time should be closely considered as to whether or not it's beneficial. | ||
| If something gives you extra and exaggerated feelings, you gotta go, well, is this love? | ||
| Is this a hot girl I like to fuck? | ||
| Is it a fun sport that I picked up that now I'm addicted to? | ||
| How much of this is good? | ||
| How much of this is chemtrails? | ||
| How much of this is just you spending a lot of time on something that turns out to be total nonsense? | ||
| How much? | ||
| I like micro-conspiracies way better, like little things, like if you get a value meal at McDonald's, it's more expensive than if you buy all three things separately and stuff like that. | ||
| That's true, too. | ||
| If you get a value meal at McDonald's, it's more expensive than if you put all the things together. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But those kind of conspiracies... | ||
| You just broke that. | ||
| You broke that story. | ||
| It's gonna be giant. | ||
| Those kind of conspiracies to me are way funnier. | ||
| But that's not a conspiracy. | ||
| You can prove it easier. | ||
| Right, but that's not a conspiracy. | ||
| Conspiracy is like... | ||
| Why are they doing it? | ||
| What? | ||
| Why are they doing that? | ||
| Do they know about it? | ||
| There must be some incentive to get people, when you get it as a package, What I would say is if there's a meal package that's less money, it might still be more money than they would have spent if they didn't go for the meal package. | ||
| So they might only get one thing. | ||
| They might only get a burger and maybe only get a drink. | ||
| But if you offer some things in a package, a lot of times people are going to gravitate towards that package. | ||
| You're saying that it's a way to upsell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So even though it might cost less to buy it as a package, they still might be spending more than they would have spent if they didn't buy the package because they might have just got a cheeseburger by itself. | ||
| Oh, that's totally legit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's 41 cents. | ||
| Dude, I'm like a marketing expert, son. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| And they add the 41 cents. | ||
| That's like buying the extended warranty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think you need that. | |
| McDonald's sued because extra value meal is 41 cents more. | ||
| Wow, I wonder how much they're going to spend on legal fees on that conundrum. | ||
| How could you get sued for that? | ||
| Unless you said. | ||
| I mean, the fucking price is on the wall, you dumb cunt. | ||
| Because it's called extra value meal, meaning values. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So what? | |
| It's kind of false advertising a little, I guess. | ||
| But is it? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Fraud. | ||
| It's kind of fraudy. | ||
| The lawsuit filed this month was about principal, not 41 cents. | ||
| He seeks a class action status for consumer fraud and deceptive practices lawsuit against McDonald's operator Karras Management. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| I love that McDonald's exists, but it should be illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| It's fucking barely food. | ||
| Man, I had it the other day. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I know too, man. | ||
| Every now and then I'll stop on the way home and get a filet of fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the fries though. | |
| The fries. | ||
| See, I don't fuck with fries. | ||
| Not that much. | ||
| A little bit here and there. | ||
| But they don't get me. | ||
| Those Filet-O-Fishes get me. | ||
| Filet-O-Fish. | ||
| Fresh. | ||
| You have to have a fresh one. | ||
| But I made the mistake before I ate the last one. | ||
| Watching a fucking documentary on how they prepare those fish cakes that you buy. | ||
| Fucking Jesus Christ. | ||
| See how they treat all the fish with chemicals. | ||
| They remove all the smell. | ||
| That's why when you eat Filet-O-Fish, they never fucking smell. | ||
| They don't smell. | ||
| Dude, you ever catch a fish and cook it later in the day? | ||
| If you wait too long, it starts to stink, especially if it's in the sun. | ||
| You've got to be careful with fish. | ||
| Fish is way different than any other food in that the closest proximity you have to that thing being caught and then killed, and then you eat it. | ||
| The closer those are together, it makes a giant impact on the way it tastes. | ||
| So they figured out some weird way to treat all this stuff, and I was watching them do it. | ||
| They kill so many fish! | ||
| Dude, it's crazy. | ||
| If you watch one of them Filet-O-Fish factory places, and you see the fish just being poured in, you just want to go, stop! | ||
| Stop! | ||
| Stop! | ||
| Stop it! | ||
| It's like a mass murder. | ||
| You can't take any more fish! | ||
| There's not going to be any more fish! | ||
| Oh my god, what are they doing? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Dude, it's crazy. | ||
| They just have trucks. | ||
| They're backing up. | ||
| Beep, beep, beep. | ||
| Dumping gigantic piles of fish in there. | ||
| Well, think about chickens, man. | ||
| You go to Boston Market, I just got a half a chicken. | ||
| Like that. | ||
| Yeah, and that's half a life I just ate. | ||
| Yeah, and it was alive probably just a month ago. | ||
| Yeah, and that... | ||
| That's so much chicken. | ||
| So much chicken. | ||
| How many people are there before you? | ||
| That's why the simulation theory thing makes more sense because there's no way there's that much chicken. | ||
| Here's what's going on. | ||
| We have decided that we operate better and calmer in gigantic groups. | ||
| And even though there's more stress, I mean by better and calmer as a civilization. | ||
| Like there's more beep beep honk honk fuck you maybe more murder maybe more crime because everybody's jammed on top of each other so you're gonna have a bunch of like errant behavior no matter what you do but the only way we can do that is if we are not involved at all in the production of food so the production of food is kind of taken away from people because we all together if we lived in a neighborhood right say if I live near you And Joey's up the street, and Bert's up the street, and we all decide. | ||
| It's like a co-op. | ||
| We're gonna grow our own food. | ||
| I mean, people have done that before. | ||
| Hippies do that shit all the time. | ||
| They love to do it. | ||
| If we had them all stacked on top of each other and fucked up like that, we'd be like, hey guys, what are we doing? | ||
| This is fucked up. | ||
| These chickens aren't even... | ||
| They're never alive. | ||
| We're just treating them like shit until we kill them. | ||
| That seems kind of fucked up, right? | ||
| I guarantee we'd all agree. | ||
| We'd all be like, yeah. | ||
| Alright, how do we do this better? | ||
| We need more space. | ||
| We need to treat them more humanely. | ||
| They need an omnivorous diet. | ||
| They need to be able to free range and roam around and be like a real chicken until the end comes. | ||
| So it's not like a life of torture and then death. | ||
| It's just life and then death. | ||
| So you eliminate, by using your intellect, you eliminate that torture. | ||
| But the thing is, we don't encounter it, man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Have you ever been to a slaughterhouse? | ||
| No, I would definitely... | ||
| Maybe I have. | ||
| Maybe a cow. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| No, I went to a place where they milk a farm, but... | ||
| Yeah, that's even rough, man. | ||
| You watch those cows jammed up against those metal bars, and then they're yanking on their tits like, oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a... | |
| It's all weird, man. | ||
| It's all weird because we don't see it. | ||
| Like, we just go get milk. | ||
| That's the fucked up part. | ||
| We've created these systems. | ||
| And go get milk is not nearly as fucking weird as go get a cheeseburger at McDonald's. | ||
| Because go get a cheeseburger, it's like, they've done all the work. | ||
| They grew the cow, they killed the cow, they chopped it up, they ground it up, they cooked it, they put it on a bun, they wrapped that bun in paper, they gave it to you, and it took a couple of seconds. | ||
| I mean, you can go to a McDonald's right now, you pull up that drive-thru, you get a juicy ass quarter pounder with cheese, ooh, and it'll be in your fat fucking greasy mouth in three minutes. | ||
| That's amazing! | ||
| The only way that can happen is if you're not involved in the process. | ||
| It's the only way it can happen. | ||
| We gotta kill a lot of fucking cows to do that. | ||
| We can't all be like everybody who eats cow be out there killing cows. | ||
| We wouldn't get shit done. | ||
| There would be no insurance companies. | ||
| There would be no video games that ever get developed. | ||
| We wouldn't have time. | ||
| We'd be out there fucking mowing fields and shit. | ||
| We'd be out there shooting cows in the head and hanging them up by their ankles. | ||
| Fake food's on the way very soon, I think. | ||
| I mean, especially since recently, they've had a lot of good breakthroughs from, like, growing food. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's 100% gonna happen. | ||
| And once that happens, it's gonna be interesting to see if they just, like, have, like, one year of, like, last year to have real cow and slaughter them all and just keep, like, one cow per county or something. | ||
| They'll do it PETA style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you know how PETA kills a lot of cats and dogs? | ||
| I tell people that and they go, what? | ||
| Yeah, PETA euthanizes a lot of cats and dogs, unfortunately. | ||
| They say they don't have the money to keep them alive, which is high irony in a way. | ||
| Is that the ethical treatment of animals, to kill them? | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| They have no-kill animal shelters in L.A. where they don't kill the animals. | ||
| They take them in, they try to find them home. | ||
| Like Squeaky, remember my dog Squeaky? | ||
| She was in there for like... | ||
| Six months or something crazy and Callan found her and then I adopted her But, yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| I think our relationship to life itself, going back to what you were asking me about the forest, our relationship to life itself is very disjointed. | ||
| I think we were raised by people who were brainwashed by the 1960s and 1970s media and movies and TV shows and whatever they learned from their parents. | ||
| You got to think of who their parents were. | ||
| Their parents were fucking immigrants, man. | ||
| I mean, my grandparents came straight from the boat. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| All of them on my mom's side. | ||
| All of them on my father's side. | ||
| My father's side half from Ireland. | ||
| The grandfather was from Ireland. | ||
| Grandmother was from Italy. | ||
| Everybody else, Italy. | ||
| They all came over here. | ||
| On a boat. | ||
| They all just took a fucking chance. | ||
| They didn't know shit, dude. | ||
| And there's no way they would have prepared you for the internet. | ||
| They just didn't know. | ||
| So it's like with every passing generation, we become more and more aware of how weird this thing is. | ||
| Which is why you can't have a movie with Robert De Niro sucking on Juliette Lewis's tits. | ||
| You can't do that today, right? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| No, back then you could do it because they didn't know any better. | ||
| I mean, literally didn't know any better. | ||
| You know, like when people talk about like Roman Palamski, Roman Palamski, what he did, he had sex with like a 13-year-old girl and he drugged her and all that shit. | ||
| There's never an excuse for that, right? | ||
| He's a piece of shit for sure for doing that, right? | ||
| But during that time, like way back then, I bet... | ||
| I bet that was way more common than we would like to believe. | ||
| Marlon Brando. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that shit that just recently came out, how that was supposedly a real rape scene in that movie Last Tango something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How old was that girl? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| She was like 17 or 18, like she wasn't told that she was gonna do that, they just did it to her? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| It's a different world back then. | ||
| We've talked about this a couple times, about how, go to those 1950s movies, men always hit women. | ||
| They fucking hit him all the time. | ||
| Sean Connery, you remember that interview he did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That's one of my favorite interviews ever. | ||
| We played that recently. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With Barbara Walters. | ||
| If you haven't heard it, folks, you should go listen to it on YouTube because it's Barbara Walters. | ||
| She thinks she has him. | ||
| That's one of the interesting things about it is that she brings up that he has said that sometimes it's okay to hit a woman, and she sticks it to him like, you know, get out of this one. | ||
| And he says, well... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I believe sometimes it's good to hit one. | |
| They just push it and push it and they don't know when to let it go. | ||
| And then sometimes you have to use the back of your hand. | ||
| And you can see the horror in Barbara Walter's face. | ||
| She was in the last tango in Paris. | ||
| Brando was 48 and she was 19. Wow. | ||
| And so they did that to her without her having any idea that she was going to do it. | ||
| That was the scene. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man. | ||
| They didn't have her consent. | ||
| It wasn't in scripts or something like that. | ||
| He said that he didn't regret filming the scene without Schneider's consent, but admitted to feeling guilty. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 48. Brando. | ||
| She was 19. That's great. | ||
| Brando was a freak, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What a strange guy. | ||
| Remember when he got giant? | ||
| He just got enormous. | ||
| And apparently that was why they filmed him in Apocalypse Now, like they always filmed him in the dark. | ||
| He just got so big! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just a crazy fucker. | ||
| You know, when you think about trying to figure out what life is about, like now as an adult, we're the poor fools that will be looked upon by our grandchildren like fools. | ||
| Like when our grandchildren are our age and they talk about, you know, How fucking goofy our world was that we lived in. | ||
| No wonder why we elected Trump. | ||
| No wonder why we still have this ridiculous electoral college system and we still have representative democracy. | ||
| You still can't vote online. | ||
| No wonder why pot is still illegal in most of the country. | ||
| No wonder why private prisons are filled with people in jail for ridiculous shit and people are profiting off it. | ||
| No wonder why. | ||
| They didn't get it yet. | ||
| They were so close. | ||
| We're looking back on the people that owned slaves, and we're going, how did they do that? | ||
| How could that have happened? | ||
| How could the United States have been founded by slave labor? | ||
| How could these people have brought these people from Africa? | ||
| How could they have beaten them and tortured them and cut their feet off if they tried to flee? | ||
| But they did. | ||
| And this is going to be the same thing people say of us when they look back on us. | ||
| They're going to go, oh my god, they had to kill animals to get meat, dude. | ||
| They didn't even get meat from the meat science. | ||
| There's no meat science. | ||
| They didn't have a meat science company. | ||
| They just got to shoot things with sticks. | ||
| They haven't figured out Asians were robots yet. | ||
| I think they're aliens. | ||
| My girlfriend doesn't have a, you know, where you pound on the knee and it... | ||
| Reflex? | ||
| Reflex? | ||
| Like three people have tried it on her knee? | ||
| It's because when she's around you, she's numb. | ||
| But three people have tried. | ||
| Well, my thought was, I feel like if you had to pick one ethnicity that excels in science and mathematics, I always go with Asian. | ||
| Is that racist in a positive way? | ||
| Because if it is, I'm positively racist towards Asians. | ||
| I just think there's a great deal of them that are really good at science and mathematics. | ||
| And if they're aliens, they probably just crashed here because they were driving their UFO. My thought was that when the Anunnaki came down here and they kidnapped the monkeys and they turned them into people, they had probably like varying doses. | ||
| You know, like my people didn't get, like the Italians didn't get a very good dose of alien. | ||
| It's like mostly monkey, some alien. | ||
| You think they just used one kind of monkey? | ||
| It's multiple kinds of monkeys. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's possible, too. | ||
| Also, where were all the hominids? | ||
| Were they all in one little forest, the ones that became people? | ||
| Or was there similar things happening in several spots all throughout the world, like a lot of other animals, like birds? | ||
| Think about how many different birds there are. | ||
| There are different birds all over the fucking planet, right? | ||
| Why would we assume that the only place is... | ||
| That we... | ||
| Well, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| We actually kind of know where the monkeys are from. | ||
| Yeah, the uncontacted Amazon tribe. | ||
| This is really recent. | ||
| They have these pictures of these people. | ||
| These fucking people, man, are living right now. | ||
| There's something fucked up about going in there and taking pictures. | ||
| It's really... | ||
| I get that everybody wants to see it, but you're going to ruin this. | ||
| Like, this is incredible. | ||
| And I know it's important. | ||
| It's a total catch-22, because I know it's important to document. | ||
| It's very important to document. | ||
| But it's also, this is an amazing thing that exists right now. | ||
| You could peer into the past. | ||
| These people are literally living. | ||
| That guy has a homemade bow and arrow, and you can see his cack. | ||
| He's got little arrows strapped to his hip. | ||
| He's got a leaf over his dick, and that guy's pointing at bow and arrow at this drone or whatever the hell it is that's taking these photos. | ||
| I wonder what they smell like. | ||
| Dude, they don't know what's going on, man. | ||
| They're freaking out. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Like, look at that look on that guy's face. | ||
| He doesn't even know what he's seeing. | ||
| This is an uncontacted tribe, man. | ||
| Like, as they go deeper and deeper into the Amazon, they find pockets of prehistoric people. | ||
| They don't have any... | ||
| They don't have any contact with the outside world. | ||
| They're not wearing t-shirts. | ||
| They're not wearing Adidas. | ||
| They don't have any plastic. | ||
| These fucking people are living just like people lived 30,000 years ago there. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| You know, man, to be able to... | ||
| This is such a rare moment. | ||
| If they could figure out a way... | ||
| To visit these people. | ||
| Like have them accept you. | ||
| You would have to actually be one of them. | ||
| To really find out what they're like, like unaffected. | ||
| You would almost have to be one of them. | ||
| What you'd have to do is, you'd have to take one of them, kidnap them, copy their brain onto a robot that looked like them, send that robot in to talk to the pygmies or to the tribe people. | ||
| What if you just came in there with a bunch of dead meat, though? | ||
| You're just holding up meat, walking slowly, going, here, here, here, and putting it down. | ||
| Then they're like, oh, he's giving us meat. | ||
| See, the thing about these hunter-gatherer tribes like this... | ||
| Is they need to get food every day. | ||
| Like, if you give them meat, they'll be super happy. | ||
| But it's not like if I gave you a side of beef, you'd be like, wow, I'll put this in the freezer. | ||
| Like, that meat is not going to last. | ||
| Like, no matter what. | ||
| It's just not going to. | ||
| They're in the jungle. | ||
| It gets funky in an hour. | ||
| Bunch of Twinkies, then. | ||
| They gotta hunt every day, dude. | ||
| My friend Steve Rinella went to this place in, fuck, was it Bornea? | ||
| Bolivia. | ||
| He went to Bolivia and he hung out with these tribal people in Bolivia in the woods with them. | ||
| He said it was nuts. | ||
| They don't wear shoes. | ||
| Their feet are like thick with calluses and they're splayed out. | ||
| Their toes are splayed out. | ||
| Their feet don't look anything like ours because they never wear shoes. | ||
| And they gave these guys some shoes like, hey, you know, as a gift. | ||
| They put them on and they're like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| They didn't want them. | ||
| Like, their feet have gotten so calloused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they Yeezys? | |
| They don't have Yeezys, brother. | ||
| They don't have anything. | ||
| Sorry, Jamie. | ||
| Didn't make any sense. | ||
| They didn't want them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they gave these people boots, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boots. | |
| That you would wear if you lived in the jungle. | ||
| They didn't want to have nothing to do with it. | ||
| I guess if you just walk around all the time, your feet will get so hard that you could walk on anything. | ||
| Have you seen that guy's feet that like walked across the country? | ||
| Which country? | ||
| This country. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Barefoot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| United States of America? | ||
| He's doing it right now, actually, I think, for the third time. | ||
| Barefoot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sounds like a bad idea. | ||
| Well, there was that one guy that was on that dual survival show, and that was his shtick. | ||
| It was that he walks barefoot everywhere. | ||
| You never know, man, when the shoe store's gonna run out of shoes. | ||
| Imagine, though, if you lived your whole life like an asshole walking outside barefoot, and then the day you die, you're like, God damn it, they still have shoes. | ||
| And then, boom, and it ends. | ||
| Are you mostly barefoot around your house? | ||
| Yeah, I'm barefoot all the time. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's his feet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's my feet. | ||
| That doesn't look that bad. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like... | ||
| That's a woman, dude. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Is this your personal collection? | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Yeah, let's look. | ||
| That's his name? | ||
| Yeah, it says Mark Bombers. | ||
| Why does that look like a woman in that photo? | ||
| He's got long hair. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Oh, is that a hippie thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did I just, uh... | ||
| Did I do what Grandpa does? | ||
| After his 46th day of walking barefoot. | ||
| It's only 46 days, though. | ||
| Oh, that's when they've just started out doing it. | ||
| He hasn't been doing it for, like, years or anything. | ||
| I would imagine more cuts and stuff. | ||
| It doesn't seem like a good idea. | ||
| Well, it seems like you definitely would get some infections and shit in the beginning. | ||
| It seems like mental illness is what the guy has. | ||
| I think it's one of those things where you just gotta do it over and over and over again. | ||
| Do it slowly, and then have it build up. | ||
| Go to see if you find that dual survivor's feet. | ||
| Because he used to walk on the show everywhere, in the jungle, stepping on twigs and shit, barefoot. | ||
| His feet were way more disgusting than that guy's. | ||
| His feet were like werewolf feet. | ||
| They're just like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| But if you wanna, you know, if you wanna just have tough feet, look at that. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's a fucked up foot. | ||
| That's the dual survivor guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he has ridiculous feet, dude. | ||
| Everywhere he goes, he walks. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Barefoot. | ||
| Disgusting. | ||
| Imagine paying someone to suck your toes and they look like that. | ||
| You'd have to be a real piece of shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You wouldn't even feel it. | ||
| You might as well be sucking on the bottom of a table. | ||
| You don't feel that. | ||
| Those things are numb. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| The only good thing about having cow's feet, though, is when you start stepping on things that would normally hurt you, you won't feel it. | ||
| So it's kind of like making your own shoe out of your own foot. | ||
| But that's just disgusting. | ||
| Look at the bottom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at the heels. | |
| That looks infected. | ||
| That looks like the homeless guy by my house with gangrene. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Cody London. | ||
| That's his name. | ||
| Shout out to Cody. | ||
| It's like this is an interesting world, man. | ||
| That world of people that are preppers and survivalists and they want to stay alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Man, I had another conversation with Les Stroud the other day. | ||
| He came to the comedy store. | ||
| He's doubling down on Bigfoot. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| He loves Bigfoot. | ||
| Let me see those socks. | ||
| I wish he found them. | ||
| I would fucking love it. | ||
| I would be so happy if Les Stroud found Bigfoot. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| He goes looking for it all the time. | ||
| Let's talk about this in a serious manner. | ||
| What if there's like five of them? | ||
| There's only five of them. | ||
| Even talking about it as if there might be a possibility drives me crazy. | ||
| Meanwhile, you have no problem with a lot of other ridiculous fantasies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are fantasies? | ||
| Movies and video games and all kinds of fantasy stuff, right? | ||
| You have no problem with Rogue One, but you're like, fuck Bigfoot. | ||
| Rogue One, I haven't seen. | ||
| I heard it was good. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No, I heard it's good. | ||
| I heard it's very good. | ||
| I liked the last one, so Young Jamie says it's much better than the last one. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| I mean, I enjoyed it more. | ||
| It's cooler. | ||
| But I don't know what the fuck's going on, though. | ||
| So that's part of the problem. | ||
| It's like, when is it happening? | ||
| It's a prelude to which one? | ||
| The original. | ||
| What? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| So this is before... | ||
| Okay, so the last one was way after the first one. | ||
| But this new one is going to be way before the first one. | ||
| The last one you saw? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| That's way after. | ||
| Darth Vader was dead. | ||
| The one that came out last year? | ||
| This is the first one. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, Han Solo was older, obviously. | ||
| This is, like, after the first one, right? | ||
| But now this one's going to go before the original one that introduced Han Solo. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you're never going to get a fucking Han Solo guy again. | ||
| I feel like the age of that kind of actor is pretty much over. | ||
| The age of, like, these superstar movie, like, iconic Han Solo-type characters. | ||
| I feel like I was thinking about that recently. | ||
| I think the problem is that it's because those guys are still here doing those movies. | ||
| Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford are still making movies. | ||
| But nobody else, I mean, it doesn't seem like any new guys are doing that. | ||
| See the new Blade Runners? | ||
| There's a new Blade Runner? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And Harrison Ford's in it, and what's his face? | ||
| Mark Barg, Ryan Gosling, I think. | ||
| Yeah, Ryan Gosling. | ||
| Ooh, but what about the other guy? | ||
| Who was the main robot guy? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Robot guy? | ||
| Yeah, the guy who was his main enemy at the end of the first movie. | ||
| Oh, uh... | ||
| Rutger Hauer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| That guy was the shit. | ||
| This is the preview. | ||
| We're watching it right now. | ||
| Okay, yeah, pull the audio. | ||
| So, narration going on right now with Harrison Ford. | ||
| And I see it's weird when you redo something, man. | ||
| Are they redoing it? | ||
| It seems like they're doing it right because they kept the narrative, which is a real feel of the film. | ||
| This looks dope. | ||
| And it's by Ridley Scott again. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Powerful Ridley Scott. | ||
| Alien. | ||
| He's walking up to some ship, it looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-oh. | |
| Yeah, maybe this is not the best thing for people to have on YouTube. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Alright, we'll see it later. | ||
| I'll show it. | ||
| We'll see it later. | ||
| Oh, this isn't even the one I saw. | ||
| This is a different one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, Brian, is this happening in real time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh wait, no, this isn't. - Alright. - Yeah, and then-- Gosling. | |
| That's Gosling. | ||
| Again, I'm confused. | ||
| I saw him the other day. | ||
| There's the Reynolds and the Gosling. | ||
| Harrison Ford with a gun. | ||
| Looks a little shaky. | ||
| I might rush him. | ||
| So great. | ||
| Blade Runner. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That'll be badass. | ||
| I hope they do it. | ||
| Well, I think we need more science fiction movies that are really good, and we need more horror movies that are really good. | ||
| There's not enough... | ||
| I don't know fucking monster movies anymore. | ||
| Just stop making them. | ||
| Black Mirror is my latest new horror movie. | ||
| That shit's fucking creepy as fuck. | ||
| That's a crazy, crazy show. | ||
| One of my favorite shows of all time. | ||
| Why is it a monster movie? | ||
| Well, one of the episodes... | ||
| Each episode's really fucked up, but one episode's scary. | ||
| Like, he's in a haunted house, and it's mixing virtual reality with simulation. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Don't listen any farther. | ||
| It's crazy, though. | ||
| Um... | ||
| I got so high yesterday with Ron White, I started believing in ghosts. | ||
| Ron White was telling me he lived in a haunted house. | ||
| I was like, wow. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You used to live in a haunted house. | ||
| You sure it was haunted? | ||
| I was looking those rules up on real estate. | ||
| There is something, even in California, you have to disclose if someone died in your house if you're trying to sell it within three years or something like that. | ||
| Should be a lot more than that, or a lot less than that, rather. | ||
| That's for smell reasons, though, or something. | ||
| That's for health code reasons, or... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Not less than that. | ||
| I meant more than that in the first place. | ||
| I was going to bring up a story about the girl who died in Boulder. | ||
| What's the little girl's name? | ||
| JonBenet Ramsey. | ||
| JonBenet Ramsey, yeah. | ||
| That house, they can't sell. | ||
| A fucking house they can't sell. | ||
| They've changed the name of the street. | ||
| They can't sell that house. | ||
| How much is it? | ||
| I'll buy it. | ||
| They changed the address. | ||
| You don't want it, dude. | ||
| It's an expensive house. | ||
| It's a very nice house. | ||
| It's in Boulder, like in Boulder proper, which is like very expensive. | ||
| It says they sold it. | ||
| The house is new owner. | ||
| When is this? | ||
| This year. | ||
| Jerry from Subway. | ||
| That house has been for sale for, I'm not exaggerating, maybe like nine years, ten years. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, and I think some people bought it, and they redid it, and they tried to change the name of it. | ||
| That's who this is. | ||
| They own the house. | ||
| The people that bought it right after the Ramseys moved out in 2004, I guess, have been trying to sell it for 10 years. | ||
| Yeah, so they just sold it, and some new people bought it. | ||
| Man, if it is haunted, I don't think there's an expiration date on Ghost, dude. | ||
| I started watching... | ||
| I think they're having trouble selling it. | ||
| Oh, so they haven't sold it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so that's the case. | ||
| So that was the point, is that these people bought this house, they fixed it up, and they're like, well, it's a beautiful house, it'll sell. | ||
| Nobody wants it. | ||
| I started watching a ghost show recently, and that's like, I think you've talked about it many times, but I've never seen it before, the ghost hunters or whatever. | ||
| What a ridiculous fake show that is. | ||
| There's a bunch of them. | ||
| I don't know which one you saw, but there's like four or five different of those ghost shows. | ||
| The one that's on TruTV. | ||
| But they actually edit in kids laughing and stuff, and they're like, do you hear that? | ||
| I swear, it sounds like kids laughing. | ||
| And it's just like a stock audio of like, hee hee. | ||
| You know, like, it's so bad. | ||
| Yeah, they don't have any obligation to tell the truth, by the way. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| If you're so fucking stupid, you really believe that the guys on those Ghost Hunter shows are gonna expose the truth in the next commercial break. | ||
| You know, like, the next commercial break. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Oh my god, coming up next. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Is that real? | ||
| Remember that show they had people's... | ||
| I think it was called Fear on MTV, where they had a GoPro on someone's face, like, go sit in this dark room for two hours, and if you can, think you win money or some shit like that? | ||
| They just tried to freak... | ||
| I think they were trying to freak them out, but they tried to make it seem like they were in haunted houses and different prisons and shit like that. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| Yeah, why... | ||
| Boy, we love watching other people freak out. | ||
| It's like horror movies, man. | ||
| Like, there's... | ||
| What is it about a horror movie? | ||
| I remember that scene from American Werewolf in London where there was a businessman on the subway in London and he's walking along and he looks behind him and he sees the wolf and you know that he sees the wolf and he starts running and you barely see the wolf. | ||
| You see the wolf for like maybe a half a second. | ||
| Like, maybe. | ||
| And then he's running, and he keeps looking back, and he's terrified, and he fucking runs up this escalator, and he trips and falls, and his briefcase falls apart, and he's trying to pick up the stuff, and he looks down at the bottom of the escalator, and for like a split second, you see the werewolf. | ||
| And it makes you shh. | ||
| Shit your fucking pants because you think about like what if you were that guy and this thing is running through the airport chasing you and then you just can't keep it together anymore you're out of shape you get to the top of that escalator you fall down you collapse and you look down you're like oh my god it's there like we love that shit people love being freaked out watching some poor bastard about to get jacked it stresses me out You don't like those movies? | ||
| I mean, no. | ||
| I don't like being stressed out. | ||
| That's why I never finished Breaking Bad. | ||
| I watched the first episode and I was like, yeah, I get it. | ||
| That was stressful. | ||
| I don't need to do any more of that. | ||
| I gave up on The Walking Dead. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I heard it's just turned a corner. | ||
| It was way too tortury. | ||
| I was like, this is a torture show. | ||
| It's like all of a sudden the zombies are pussies. | ||
| Like, all of a sudden, the zombies aren't any threat at all. | ||
| It's just the people. | ||
| Like, the zombies come near you, just fucking push them to the side, get out of here. | ||
| These zombies used to be able to tear open a horse. | ||
| They used to take down a fucking full-grown horse and rip it apart and eat it alive. | ||
| Do you know how quick a fucking horse would run over 30, 40 people? | ||
| Like, a 30, 40 people, just regular strength people. | ||
| Went and had a horse cornered in a stable and tried to eat the horse while it's alive. | ||
| That horse would kick the fuck out of you. | ||
| Everybody would go flying. | ||
| You would take maybe 15 seconds and we'd all be dead. | ||
| The horse would just kick you and kick you. | ||
| You would never bite through his fucking skin and eat him. | ||
| But in this stupid show, at one point in time, the zombies could just tear open a horse. | ||
| So what are they? | ||
| Are they super powerful? | ||
| Or are they pussies? | ||
| Do they walk like two miles an hour? | ||
| Or could they corner a fucking giant horse? | ||
| Tell me what's going on here. | ||
| What if one... | ||
| What if it's just like if the person was super strong before they became a zombie? | ||
| Doesn't work on the horse. | ||
| Even if you get a bunch of strong men. | ||
| Get 50 strong men to try to take out a horse. | ||
| This guy's gonna get kicked. | ||
| This is not... | ||
| I don't want to see this, Jamie. | ||
| Don't make me see this. | ||
| Why are we watching this? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Son, you got KO'd. | ||
| That guy got K the fuck owed. | ||
| You got a whole sequence of them? | ||
| A collaboration? | ||
| I do not want to watch dudes getting jacked by horses. | ||
| But let me tell you something. | ||
| You could have a hundred people try to corral a horse and rip it apart. | ||
| That horse will send people fucking flying. | ||
| That's like, look, if I was in a room with a hundred chihuahuas that were trying to kill me, guess who's getting out of the room? | ||
| Me. | ||
| There's gonna be a hundred dead fucking chihuahuas and me. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I'm a person. | ||
| And I'm bigger than a goddamn chihuahua. | ||
| That's like a better, I have less good odds than a hundred people trying to eat a horse. | ||
| That horse will kick the fuck out of you. | ||
| Unless you have a gun or a spear or something, you're gonna have to penetrate that thing's vital organs. | ||
| It's gonna beat the fuck out of everybody. | ||
| You can't just eat the horse. | ||
| Fuck out of here. | ||
| Your rules don't fit. | ||
| You haven't made a coherent universe where things are consistent. | ||
| Sometimes these zombies can tear through things and eat a living horse. | ||
| And sometimes these fucking things, you just push them to the side and they can't even bite you. | ||
| They're not as frantic. | ||
| They move slower. | ||
| They're not a consideration. | ||
| This is what we're doing. | ||
| We're breaking down zombies and zombie psychology here at All Things Considered. | ||
| Please consider donating because what we have put together here is all put together by your generous contributions. | ||
| Coming up next, zombie physics. | ||
| Bite physics. | ||
| How do they bite through things? | ||
| All you need is like a thick jacket and just stab them all in the head. | ||
| Here, bite my arm, stupid. | ||
| Stab in the fucking head. | ||
| They have super power strength. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Like the first episode of the new season, Rick's just shucking them to the side like he's some goddamn super lineman. | ||
| They're a bunch of high school players. | ||
| He's just chucking them, moving them around like they're nothing. | ||
| Nobody bites them. | ||
| 30, 40 of them at a time. | ||
| Not one of them gets a hold of them, bites them. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| It should be somebody's job to be like, make sure that is a thing. | ||
| Consistent. | ||
| Yeah, consistency. | ||
| But they can't do that with a storyline. | ||
| Because the storyline is too weird, man. | ||
| The storyline is like, now, you know, everybody, the zombies are still around, but the people become a problem. | ||
| The zombies are still around, but they don't eat, and it's been years. | ||
| And, uh, I guess they're just around, and, uh, unlike anything we've ever observed, they don't deteriorate and fall away from not eating. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| Are these stupid, slow cunts gonna feed themselves every day? | ||
| Do they have a digestive system? | ||
| They could just write into this story, like, oh, we figured it out why some are stronger than the others. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some have eaten lately. | |
| That sounds like an ABC after-school special. | ||
| To finish Westworld? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a good show. | ||
| I fucking love that show. | ||
| It's a great show. | ||
| That's a show that has so much weird room to move around because they jump timelines and you never know who's a robot and who's not a robot. | ||
| It's just getting slipperier and slipperier. | ||
| And it's Anthony fucking Hopkins and the other guy, Ed Harris. | ||
| Both, I mean, top flight actors. | ||
| And then that girl who plays Dolores, what is her name? | ||
| God damn, she's good. | ||
| She scares the shit out of me. | ||
| Like, a girl like that. | ||
| Is the type of girl that could just act like that and get you to fall in love with her? | ||
| If a girl can act that good in a movie, if she wanted to use it for evil, she could. | ||
| I feel like I've dated a few of these local girls, these actresses. | ||
| Evan Rachel Wood, yeah. | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| Yeah, they can do that. | ||
| They can use it for evil. | ||
| Yeah, they can date you pretty, like, hide the crazy way easier because they can just act like they're nice and normal. | ||
| Well, also, most people who are crazy don't even know that they're crazy. | ||
| It's not like they're going, I know I'm crazy, but I can't let Brian know I'm crazy. | ||
| So what I'm going to do is I'm going to pretend. | ||
| Even with Facebook, though, and everyone calling them crazy for, like, a couple years, and then they go, oh, they figured it out. | ||
| Dude, ego. | ||
| First of all, those people on Facebook, I didn't pay them no mind because I ain't about haters. | ||
| I ain't about haters. | ||
| Preach. | ||
| See, I think there's a way that we can all justify who we are and how we are. | ||
| And I don't think crazy people have some sort of clarity that we don't possess. | ||
| I think that's ridiculous. | ||
| I think it's probably quite the opposite. | ||
| I bet they have way less clarity. | ||
| They have no idea they're crazy. | ||
| They think the world sucks. | ||
| World's full of retards. | ||
| Justin Bieber went to bed and probably got up that morning, man, what a bunch of retards we met last night. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, that fucking red band retard. | ||
| I love garden. | ||
| You know, like, he probably has no idea how he came off. | ||
| That's way more common than not. | ||
| So these real dummies, these crazy people, these nutty people, they probably don't even know they're that nutty. | ||
| They think they're a little nutty sometimes. | ||
| What's the big deal? | ||
| God. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have video of him saying Uh, yeah, but have you ever slept with 20 supermodels? | ||
| To this black guy. | ||
| And when the black guy came up, he goes, what's up my n-word? | ||
| To you? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| To this black guy. | ||
| Oh, he said that to him? | ||
| He yelled something to this black guy. | ||
| So this black guy comes up and puts down his food. | ||
| And he goes, what's up my n-word? | ||
| I'm scared of saying that word. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| I don't like saying it, man. | ||
| Because nowadays people make it ringtones and shit. | ||
| Well, it's a fucking problem. | ||
| Magic words are never good, folks. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not good because it makes them more valuable when you say it now. | ||
| It holds more power. | ||
| It becomes a more loaded word. | ||
| Lenny Bruce argued about that in the 1950s. | ||
| It was one of his bits. | ||
| It was one of his most controversial bits. | ||
| He would point people out in the audience and call, there's a nigger. | ||
| There's a spick. | ||
| There's a kike. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| It was a crazy, crazy bit. | ||
| And at the time, like... | ||
| People had no idea where he was going with it because nobody had ever done that kind of comedy before. | ||
| But he was essentially saying that the more you use those words, the more they lose their power and the more they'll never have the ability to hurt some child's feelings. | ||
| It was pretty profound, especially considering that he had realized what happens when you censor things and censor people. | ||
| He figured that out in the 1960s somehow. | ||
| He figured out that this is counterproductive. | ||
| You can't demonize a word. | ||
| Words just convey intent, like we were talking about earlier. | ||
| The hardest thing in the world is to convey your thoughts through your words. | ||
| And to make certain words supercharged and decide certain words have magic fucking powers in the game and they can jump three steps No, no, no. | ||
| They're just fucking words, man. | ||
| Words are supposed to be flexible, and they're supposed to all contribute to the best possible job you can do of conveying your intent. | ||
| And as soon as you have supercharged words that you can't use anymore, well then I can't... | ||
| I have less tools to convey my intent. | ||
| I have less... | ||
| You have less of an ability to understand what I'm saying, and you're assuming that the exact same word... | ||
| From one sentence to the next has the same content, has the same ability. | ||
| It means the same thing. | ||
| Because it doesn't always mean the same thing. | ||
| You know, like, someone can call you a bitch, and if it's your friend, it's funny. | ||
| Like, if Duncan comes over and, like, what's up, bitch? | ||
| And, like, goes to grab your dick or something, like, it'd be hilarious, right? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he's Duncan. | ||
| Because it's your friend. | ||
| Whereas... | ||
| If Justin Bieber says it to you and you're, you know, in line in front of him a big boy, you wouldn't, you know, that doesn't feel good. | ||
| Or if some guy says that to you, some guy comes up to you like, what's up, bitch? | ||
| You're like, oh, well, this doesn't feel good. | ||
| It feels terrible, right? | ||
| Because the intent's different. | ||
| You know it's different. | ||
| The word doesn't always mean the same thing. | ||
| A word just conveys intent. | ||
| And it's not that fucking good. | ||
| I mean, we're really good at it compared to animals. | ||
| But we're not that good at it. | ||
| Isn't that not that good at it? | ||
| That's why songs are cool. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You repeat the same shit over and over and over again. | ||
| Anywhere else that's annoying. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I wanna rock and roll all night And party every day You get a whole crowd repeating the same shit over and over and over again. | ||
| Because we've decided that those noises, those words, they convey an intent that we can all support. | ||
| And the music backs it up Right? | ||
| You're not a big KISS fan. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| You don't understand. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You were denied that in your youth. | ||
| You should play KISS miniature golf in Vegas next time you go. | ||
| That's pretty fun. | ||
| How about no? | ||
| What's two animals that sing? | ||
| Birds, monkeys. | ||
| Monkeys sing. | ||
| They make crazy sounds. | ||
| But is that a call or a song? | ||
| Well, none of them are songs. | ||
| I think birds are songs. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They're beautiful. | ||
| But what about, like... | ||
| Whales? | ||
| Whales sing? | ||
| That's a humming. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, what is a... | ||
| Okay, like, do you think you know for sure what a whale sounds like when it's, like, whale sounds? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Just the audio that they're recording. | ||
| Let's hear the audio of whale. | ||
| Let's hear whale songs. | ||
| Yeah, it's like that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| Dolphins, it's like... | ||
| Right? | ||
| So we know that. | ||
| Okay, here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Speaking of which, have you done the HTC Vive yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I've done that PlayStation Ocean. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
SIREN SIREN | |
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Dude, that's amazing. | ||
| That sounds incredible. | ||
| Wow, that sound alone just completely changed the way I think about whales. | ||
| Does that sound like crying to you? | ||
| Positive or negative? | ||
| They're communicating. | ||
| It didn't sound negative. | ||
| It sounded like they're communicating. | ||
| But it makes you realize how fucking smart they are. | ||
| Like, I don't know what they're saying, but I can tell that that's a language. | ||
| They're repeating certain sounds and doing it in a way that's clear the differences in the sounds. | ||
| It sounds like a fucking language, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And also, you gotta think, like, what a... | |
| When you stop and think about how we've all chosen certain languages, whether it's Chinese or Spanish or whatever, you know, the region or the world that we live in, we've chosen certain languages that become like our standard way of making sounds that convey our ideas. | ||
| But these things have gone a totally different path. | ||
| But it's kind of the same thing. | ||
| They're like those Amazon tribes people that they discovered. | ||
| You know, they're people. | ||
| Their brains are probably just like our brains, exactly the same. | ||
| But they never encountered all these metals and plastics and all the innovations that came with the industrial era. | ||
| So they just live like people lived thousands and thousands of years ago. | ||
| But it's the same thing, right? | ||
| They're just people. | ||
| They probably have some crazy language that we don't know. | ||
| But go down there and try to figure... | ||
| You'll hear them talking. | ||
| You'll be like, what in the fuck are they saying? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| Like, what kind of language is this? | ||
| That's what was going on with that dolphin. | ||
| I was listening to that thing talk. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, they can't kill these. | ||
| How are they killing these? | ||
| They gotta stop killing these. | ||
| Like, whoever it is... | ||
| I know Sea Shepherd busts a lot of people all the time. | ||
| Sea Shepherd, they catch these people... | ||
| Because there's an embargo. | ||
| Or not an embargo. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| It's illegal in most places to kill whales. | ||
| But what they do is they say they have a research vessel, and they kill them for research. | ||
| But they're not research vessels. | ||
| They take them, they chop them up, and they sell them. | ||
| But they're still doing it. | ||
| It's a big deal in Japan, apparently. | ||
| Dolphin. | ||
| Well, dolphins is a different animal, but this is whales. | ||
| They still go whaling. | ||
| They still kill whales and pull these giant-ass fucking whales on these boats. | ||
| See if you can pull up the Sea Shepherd photos. | ||
| Sea Shepherd captures or catches... | ||
| Ship with whales on or something. | ||
| It was just really disturbing because they figured out some loophole where you're allowed to kill them if you're a research vessel. | ||
| So all you have to do is just Pretend you're a research vessel or perform a couple of tests, whatever is compulsory, whatever you have to do, and then sell all the whale parts. | ||
| You hear that thing sing and you're like, whoa, you can't kill that. | ||
| That's like a water person. | ||
| It's like a weird water person. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Sea-separate catches... | ||
| Go large with that so we can see it. | ||
| Catches Japanese fleet. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's just where they slaughtered the whales in there. | ||
| Oh, that's fucked up, dude. | ||
| Look, you can see the whale parts and shit. | ||
| It's just a... | ||
| Look at those. | ||
| Three big-ass whales sitting on the floor of this Japanese vessel. | ||
| This is real recent, too. | ||
| Yeah, Japanese fleet. | ||
| See, click on that link so we can hear what the story is. | ||
| Sea Shepherd catches Japanese fleet, four whales dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| Yeah, I mean, as many of these people go out and catch doing this, catching the act, how many people are getting away with this? | ||
| The ocean's a big fucking place. | ||
| Sea Shepherd only has so many boats. | ||
| Horrible, huh? | ||
| Yeah, is it illegal in Japan? | ||
| They found inside a Southern Ocean sanctuary. | ||
| Sea Shepherd said that it had located all five Japanese vessels now in pursuit, forcing the harpooners to cut short their operation and retreat. | ||
| The group released footage and photographs showing Three Minky whales dead on the deck of the factory ship, Nissen, Maru, and Seda. | ||
| A fourth, also believed to be a Minky, was slaughtered when Sea Shepherd's helicopter flew overhead. | ||
| There's three carcasses on the ship. | ||
| A fourth carcass has been cut up. | ||
| There's blood all over the place. | ||
| The meat's carted around on this factory ship deck. | ||
| Awful, I don't know what awful, A-O-F-F-A-L, and innards being dumped in the ocean, says she-separed Australia chairman Bob Brown. | ||
| And this is from 2014? | ||
| Is that what it's from? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man, they kill whales. | ||
| There's something about that thing that just, like, listening to that sound, I don't think I ever heard that before. | ||
| If I did, I never really listened. | ||
| That's, uh... | ||
| That's freaky, man. | ||
| That's a freaky sound. | ||
| Did you ever see that video of the people that were inside the submarine when the whale came to visit them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| No. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That's when you get a sense of how fucking big whales are. | ||
| These people are in this, I don't know how deep they are, but they're deep. | ||
| And this giant-ass fucking whale comes swimming right by them, like right up to the side of the craft. | ||
| They're like, whoa! | ||
| Like, you can see them looking through this thing at a fucking whale. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You find that one? | ||
| It's, I forget what kind of, some kind of submarine. | ||
| Some kind of underwater expedition vehicle. | ||
| It's bigger than the submarine, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Way bigger. | ||
| Way bigger. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| So here's these people. | ||
| They're looking through this window. | ||
| And we're a sperm whale. | ||
| It's a sperm whale. | ||
| So look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| That's way out right there. | ||
| Watch this thing as it gets closer. | ||
| It's fucking crazy, dude. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at the fucking size of that thing, man. | ||
| It's just swimming right next to that. | ||
| That looks like a video game, man. | ||
| It looks like that virtual reality thing. | ||
| I know, it does, right? | ||
| It goes right under them. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| It's going right under them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| All those deep sea photos from that Russian fisherman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy, crazy psycho alien stuff with teeth. | ||
| Yeah, there's been a bunch of new ones that they found. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| That ghost shark? | ||
| That thing's insane. | ||
| There's two of them. | ||
| One of them that the Whitney Cummings sent me on Instagram. | ||
| That is fucking crazy. | ||
| It's some bioluminescent shark. | ||
| She said that to me on the Twitter. | ||
| It's a bioluminescent shark that lives over a thousand feet under the water. | ||
| Yeah, this is the ghost shark. | ||
| Look at that thing, Brian. | ||
| That's a real fucking fish. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That thing was alive in that form before the dinosaurs. | ||
| Yeah, ghost shark. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| When you can find something alive today that was absolutely alive 65 plus million years ago, what an amazing time we live in where you can get a glimpse of that and sort of use your shitty little monkey brain to try to figure out, like, how many different forms of life are there? | ||
| Like, how long has this thing been going on? | ||
| Where's it going to? | ||
| You hear that whale talking? | ||
| Look at these things they found. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Deep Sea Fisherman has been posting his finds on Twitter and it's legit terrifying. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| That's that one fish. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's that angler fish. | ||
| But look at it. | ||
| It's blue and black. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What a monster. | ||
| What is that thing? | ||
| That looks like a frog version of it or something. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I've seen that one before, that crazy eel-looking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That's adorable. | ||
| Yeah, that looks like a Finding Nemo's buddy. | ||
| Look at that thing! | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| That's the chestburster from the Alien movies. | ||
| Yes, that's exactly. | ||
| Look at the teeth. | ||
| Oh, my God, look at his fucking teeth. | ||
| Extra holes for breathing or something. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Probably for finding prey. | ||
| What is that, a shark? | ||
| Some kind of shark or something? | ||
| I can't read the... | ||
| I have no idea what it says in Russian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh my God, look at these fucking freaky things. | ||
| Those guys look like a cutest couple. | ||
| What's Homeboy's Twitter page? | ||
| Okay, R-F-E-D-O-R-T-S-O-V. Like R-F-E-D-O-R-S-T-O-V or something. F-E-D-O-R-S-T-O-V. R-F-E-D-O-R-S-T-O-V. | ||
| No. | ||
| Or-T-S-O-V. Or-T-S-O-V, not S-T. Or-T-S-O-V. Or-T-S-O-V, right? | ||
| Isn't that how you would say it? | ||
| That looks like a Muppet. | ||
| Oh my god, that doesn't look real! | ||
| Look at the eyes on that fucking thing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's just so amazing, the variety of life. | ||
| Look at that fucking eyeball on top of its head, dude. | ||
| It's on the bottom, I think. | ||
| No, that's the top. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What are those eyes on the left and the right? | ||
| That's not an eyeball, is it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or the mouth is this way, that's the top of the mouth. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That thing's mouth is open and it's looking right at you. | ||
| That looks like a bass. | ||
| It's like a blowhole from Mario Brothers. | ||
| Yeah, that's right side up. | ||
| No, that's an eyeball, bro. | ||
| It's got an eyeball on its head. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Okay, Google, is there a fish that has an eyeball on its fucking head? | ||
| It says right here, it's just a halibut and looks like a cyclops. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's a halibut. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh, we're just looking at it weird. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay, okay. | ||
| So if that was flattened out, it's so dark. | ||
| I didn't know a halibut ever got that dark. | ||
| But the angle they're holding it up, it looks like a cyclops. | ||
| Because you know what halibuts are? | ||
| They're flat and they have the eyeballs on one side. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| You ever seen a halibut in real life? | ||
| They're fucking so freaky looking. | ||
| Like, how did this evolve that way? | ||
| They get to a spot on the ocean, they lay down on the sand, and then they shake themselves, and they become one with the sand. | ||
| Like, they put sand all over their body, and only their eyeballs poke up. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Like, how the fuck... | ||
| Whoa, look at that thing. | ||
| Halibut sandwich. | ||
| How does something... | ||
| Don't Google that. | ||
| Halibut in the sand. | ||
| See, watch. | ||
| You can see how it does it. | ||
| It's crazy when you watch them do it because they're just swimming along and they find a spot and they pound on the sand until it covers them. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And that's how he hides. | ||
| What a weird creature. | ||
| When they have the two eyeballs on one side and the other side no eyeballs and they're flat. | ||
| Like, that is a weird looking animal, dude. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Its eyeballs are poking up. | ||
| And it's a predator, too, which is even weirder. | ||
| I mean, that's not something that's like eating plants and shit. | ||
| It's waiting for something to fuck up and get near it so it can jack them. | ||
| Like, this is his weird camouflage method. | ||
| And they're delicious. | ||
| I'm not a fish guy at all. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's something I need to get into the older I get type thing. | ||
| Because I hate fish. | ||
| And I just hate the taste of fish. | ||
| I like hard shell, like lobster, stuff like that. | ||
| But fish, unless it's cooked deliciously, which most of the time it's just fish... | ||
| I can't get into it at all. | ||
| Well, fish is something that, like, if you go to, like, a Chili's or something like that, and you order fish, it's probably not going to be so hot, right? | ||
| But if you go to, like, a fish place and order fish, I mean, what do I know? | ||
| Maybe Chili's is the best fish ever. | ||
| Maybe I'm just a snob. | ||
| But I'm like, they can't fuck up chicken breasts, you know? | ||
| Chicken breasts are pretty fucking simple. | ||
| But if your fish is old at all, or weird at all... | ||
| No sushi on Sundays, because they can't ship it. | ||
| So you never go get fish on Sunday. | ||
| Yeah, they say even Monday's a bit of a problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know when the right day is. | ||
| It's just like an old rule. | ||
| They probably can ship stuff on Sundays now. | ||
| They get deliveries on Sundays. | ||
| Amazon Prime does. | ||
| Yeah, they can ship shit on Sunday. | ||
| You get deliveries on Sunday? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody's... | ||
| Not mail. | ||
| No more rest. | ||
| Not mail, just Sunday. | ||
| No more rest for anybody. | ||
| They're going to come to a time, and it's not that far in the future, where there's no more truck drivers. | ||
| I've been reading a lot about this, man. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| The number one job for white men in this country is truck driver. | ||
| I made that up. | ||
| I was going to say, wow. | ||
| I would believe it. | ||
| No, but it is high, but I did make that up. | ||
| They are going away for sure. | ||
| They're going away, 100%. | ||
| Find out how many people drive trucks, because it's some amazing statistic. | ||
| I do believe it's the number one job for men. | ||
| Is truck driver. | ||
| And the women are all sluts. | ||
| In the U.S. or the world? | ||
| U.S. To be a truck driving woman, what's that got to be like? | ||
| You have to be a slut? | ||
| No, I'm just, that was a joke. | ||
| But what do you have to be like? | ||
| That's a weird person. | ||
| You're going to like to be around dudes. | ||
| It must have been like a family thing. | ||
| Approximately 3.5 million professional truck drivers in the United States, according to Estimates American Trucking Association. | ||
| Total number of people employed in the industry, including those in positions that do not entail driving, exceeds 8.7 million. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Find out what percentage, though. | ||
| What percentage of men... | ||
| Like, instead of how many truck drivers in the U.S. city, what percentage of men working drive trucks... | ||
| That's a bad question. | ||
| I'm not answering it right. | ||
| I'm not asking it right. | ||
| Like, percentage of men that drive trucks for a living. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| Percentage of male truck drivers. | ||
| Yeah, percentage of men who drive trucks for a living. | ||
| It says right here 20% are women. | ||
| Of all truck drivers? | ||
| In this article, he expects about 10% of the freight's 9,000 haulers to be women, which is almost twice the national average. | ||
| So if that's double the national average, it's about 20%. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But is that the national average for any job or for truck driving? | ||
| For truck driving? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So let's find out what the percentage of people that drive trucks are. | ||
| Because I think for men, just Google what percentage of men drive trucks. | ||
| Women right here. | ||
| 5.8% of the 3.4 million truck drivers last year were women. | ||
| Okay, so 3.4 million truck drivers, and that's from 2010. Or 2011, compared to 4.6% in 2010. Huh, so that's saying it's declining. | ||
| 2% are fuckable, it says. | ||
| I think it's more than 2. 5.8% of the 3.4 million truck drivers last year is compared to the 4.6%. | ||
| Okay, so there's more female truck drivers now. | ||
| It's not 4.6 million. | ||
| I'm reading it wrong. | ||
| It says that most female truckers work in two-person driving teams. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mother-daughter pairings. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good move. | ||
| Stay safe. | ||
| Lesbians. | ||
| Keep a gun. | ||
| Don't say lesbians, bro. | ||
| They're just women. | ||
| No, I bet that's a big thing. | ||
| You know, they would like being on the road together, going on road trips, having fun together. | ||
| If you're a lesbian? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe what if you start fighting? | ||
| What if you're like halfway across the goddamn country? | ||
| You gotta make the next 2,000 miles with this bitch who won't even eat your ass anymore. | ||
| I'm so tired of her bullshit. | ||
| Oh, you think you're too good for me. | ||
| This is a weird time when it comes to those people because those jobs are going to go away. | ||
| They're going to have automated trucks. | ||
| All jobs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fast food. | ||
| Fast food's going to go away before truckers. | ||
| Cashiers. | ||
| I think cashiers are going to go away, sure, but I don't think truckers... | ||
| I think the trucker thing's going to happen sooner than you think. | ||
| They've already started using these drone trucks, right? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah, I think they've already started using them in some places. | ||
| You're going to have to figure out a way to employ those people. | ||
| You've got millions of people, millions of people that don't have a job anymore. | ||
| But is there more jobs opening up of things like Twitchers, YouTubers? | ||
| Well, there could be if they could figure out how to do it. | ||
| But, I mean, not everybody figures out how to do it that even does it. | ||
| How many people figure out how to make a living off of doing anything on the internet? | ||
| You know, even people that do it. | ||
| How many people that are on, like, Instagram, they do it all the time, they do it all day? | ||
| How many people are making nothing? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| They just do it because it's fun. | ||
| They haven't figured out how to profit off of it. | ||
| You can't just expect these truck drivers to figure it out. | ||
| It's like, they're going to be, what the fuck, man? | ||
| There's no jobs left. | ||
| That was a legitimate job. | ||
| Like, you get out of school, there was always these commercials for truck companies, truck driving companies. | ||
| We need drivers. | ||
| Do you have a safe record? | ||
| And you're like, man, I'm going to be a driver. | ||
| You can earn $16 an hour. | ||
| And you're like, oh shit, $16 an hour. | ||
| You know, all those commercials, those are going away. | ||
| That job doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| Probably drone drivers now or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even that. | |
| Even that. | ||
| Those are going to be automated too. | ||
| You're going to send those things like a navigation signal. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| For a while, you'll need people to fix it. | ||
| To fix it and make sure they're working. | ||
| VCR repair. | ||
| Until robots know how to do it better than you can. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| There's too many of us. | ||
| We out-fucked our resources. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| We've got to back off the fucker. | ||
| I wonder if it's going to get to the point where chain restaurants, like Chili's or whatever, in the back they're going to not even have cooks. | ||
| It's just going to be like, plate comms, squirt the Alfredo, squirt the noodle. | ||
| Or they're going to use that meat material and make it with a 3D printer. | ||
| Like Westworld style. | ||
| When they're making the body. | ||
| They're going to put your fucking New York strip together that way. | ||
| I wonder if it's going to be better. | ||
| Imagine if you make meat in a factory and it's never been worked out. | ||
| So it's like super tender. | ||
| You're biting through it. | ||
| You're like, oh my. | ||
| God. | ||
| And they figured out how to manipulate it, so it has like double the protein, 15 times the iron. | ||
| In The Matrix, that guy left The Matrix, and he's like, I don't give a fuck if that steak tastes like, I know it's fake, but I want that fucking fake taste to be fake as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he knew it was fake, but he didn't care because it tasted amazing. | ||
| That might be going on right now. | ||
| Might be going on right now. | ||
| It's entirely possible we're in The Matrix. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| I finally killed my other rat. | ||
| Oh, you killed rat number two? | ||
| No, I didn't kill it, but I got it out of my house. | ||
| How'd you get it out? | ||
| It got trapped. | ||
| The first rat broke his neck, you know. | ||
| Second rat got his leg trapped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw that. | |
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| He took off after that? | ||
| Yeah, he hasn't been back since. | ||
| Hasn't been back? | ||
| He might be dead. | ||
| My dad said that if a rat sees another rat get hurt or it gets hurt in a rat cage, they automatically know never to go back there again. | ||
| Like, never to... | ||
| That's why they're so hard to catch, because if they see another rat in a trap, they know, go, all right, don't touch that silver thing, you know? | ||
| Yeah, it makes sense. | ||
| I saw that video that you put up. | ||
| That was crazy, dude. | ||
| The audio. | ||
| The audio of that mouse screaming. | ||
| It sounds like a monkey. | ||
| Doesn't it sound like a monkey? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Listen to this. | ||
| We'll crank it up. | ||
| Crank that volume up. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There's this little eye. | ||
| It's coming out. | ||
| Like that owl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's freaking out. | |
| It's got its leg trapped? | ||
| Is that what's in there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, leg. | |
| It's trapped. | ||
| Were you home when that happened? | ||
| No, my girlfriend was, and she was texting me, Brian, there's a monkey in the kitchen. | ||
| Now it goes back up, and this is the last I ever see him. | ||
| He goes into my cupboard. | ||
| So that's a hole in the cupboard? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's how you're catching them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, so that's all contained inside some little box. | ||
| So he was getting in there and eating your food? | ||
| He didn't get to eat any of my food. | ||
| He could only get underneath my kitchen sink. | ||
| But when we opened up the kitchen sink after we found out we had rats, all our cleaning supplies had been drank. | ||
| Why are you showing me different things back and forth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Hold a second. | ||
| Oh, this is a different camera angle. | ||
| But hold on. | ||
| Don't distract me. | ||
| Tell me what you're showing. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| I was just getting back to that because that was him talking in the middle. | ||
| I was getting off of that. | ||
| But this is another rat. | ||
| No, this is the same one, different camera. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So did you get a camera of the rat where you killed it? | ||
| Yeah, we have photos of that. | ||
| The video wasn't as good, though, but the photos are pretty cool. | ||
| So when he jumps through, it doesn't look like he's hurt at all. | ||
| Yeah, but he hasn't been back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what's weird is that they drank and ate all my cleaning supplies. | ||
| And so there was a thing of bleach that had been eaten through and drank. | ||
| What? | ||
| So they had been living off my cleaning supplies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They ate bleach? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All my shit. | ||
| Ammonia, wax for your floors, floor wax. | ||
| They ate that shit? | ||
| It's all gone. | ||
| And there's this hole in it where they had drank it all. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Google what can rats eat. | ||
| Can rats eat cleaning supplies? | ||
| I think they're pretty much... | ||
| You can't kill a rat. | ||
| And watching them the last three weeks was just amazing, seeing how smart they are. | ||
| I don't know if you've seen that Morgan Spurlock movie, Rats, on Netflix. | ||
| No, I heard it's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, and just the trailer. | ||
| They're saying how rats are getting smarter. | ||
| They're about to overtake us. | ||
| I believe it, though, just watching my rat. | ||
| I was obsessed with them. | ||
| I was watching them all night. | ||
| I had three cameras shoot. | ||
| Morgan, don't be so silly. | ||
| But, yeah, that's a horrible feeling, having rats in your house. | ||
| I've had it before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to move, even though they're gone. | ||
| I just don't want to be in that house. | ||
| Did I ever tell you the rat in my garage story? | ||
| No. | ||
| From Encino. | ||
| When I lived in Encino, I killed a rat in my garage, put this trap up. | ||
| That's where I used to keep my trash, kept it in the barrels in the garage, then I'd take it out in the morning, right, when you're supposed to. | ||
| I fucking killed this rat. | ||
| It dies in the trap. | ||
| I look at it. | ||
| It's a big fucking rat. | ||
| I was like, whoa, that thing's huge. | ||
| I was like, all right, I'm lazy. | ||
| I don't feel like taking care of it now. | ||
| I'm going to go take care of it in the morning. | ||
| So I wake up in the morning. | ||
| I go out there. | ||
| It's eaten. | ||
| They ate him. | ||
| I mean, they ate him down to the tail. | ||
| All that was left was the tail. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit. | ||
| First of all, it taught me even rats will eat rat tails, which is interesting. | ||
| Rat tails must taste like shit. | ||
| I just find it weird. | ||
| Rat ate his friend's asshole. | ||
| He got to the tail. | ||
| He's like, enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is why I draw the culinary line. | |
| I mean, they ate the fuck out of this rat. | ||
| When I tell you, there was almost none of it left. | ||
| But it was like there was still meat that was trapped in the jaws of the mouse trap, the rat trap. | ||
| So you could tell that it wasn't like it was all gone. | ||
| There was a lot left where you could tell they ate him. | ||
| But it was like they had eaten almost everything. | ||
| All the innards gone. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| Eyeballs gone. | ||
| Face gone. | ||
| They just ate the fuck out of their friend. | ||
| Ate the fuck out of them. | ||
| And they did it overnight. | ||
| I don't know how many rats were in there, but it's a fat-ass rat. | ||
| Think about if you, me, and Jamie had to eat a whole person in a night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| How could you eat them? | ||
| How much meat is that? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Like, how many rats are there that they ate my whole rat in one night? | ||
| I mean, you'd have to, like, okay, if you had to eat a person, you and the three of us... | ||
| You know, how to recruit a bunch of people to help us eat someone the size of Tony Hitchcliffe. | ||
| Not a big person. | ||
| Take an hour. | ||
| No. | ||
| Take fucking weeks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder what you'd do with the bones. | ||
| You'd throw away the bones, right? | ||
| We would have to get like a hundred dudes to help us. | ||
| Yeah, you'd throw away the bones. | ||
| They ate through those fucking bones. | ||
| They ate most of the bones. | ||
| How much meat can you eat at dinner? | ||
| Like two pounds? | ||
| Three pounds? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You might be able to force three pounds in your face, but you're gonna feel like shit. | ||
| So the equivalent for a rat is like you eating 50 pounds. | ||
| I didn't know they jumped so high. | ||
| I didn't know that was a thing. | ||
| Rats jump high on top of your counters. | ||
| That was fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| They're freaks. | ||
| They can scramble up things. | ||
| They'll attack you. | ||
| They got into my wall heater and fucked my heater up and blew the pilot out and did something. | ||
| They really fucked me up. | ||
| My dog wouldn't leave my bedroom. | ||
| I wouldn't leave my bedroom. | ||
| God, dude. | ||
| Well, think about a dog. | ||
| That's like having a rat the size of a dog. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| Like a rat the size of a German Shepherd living in your house. | ||
| I think that rats documentary started because the rat terrier thing, there's a group of people that take their little dogs to New York City and they fuck up rats. | ||
| Yeah, it looks fun. | ||
| They just destroy them. | ||
| Break their backs. | ||
| They don't even eat them. | ||
| They do it for fun, almost. | ||
| Well, that's what those dogs are designed for. | ||
| They made those dogs in Europe, I believe. | ||
| I might have made that up. | ||
| But they made those dogs just to go after rats. | ||
| Yeah, I was about to get one. | ||
| Please Google what percentage of white men drive trucks. | ||
| Drive me crazy. | ||
| I've got to find this out. | ||
| I was about to get cats again. | ||
| I was about to get rat terror. | ||
| Call me up, man. | ||
| I can borrow one of your cats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you can't. | |
| You don't want a cat. | ||
| They shit in a box in your house. | ||
| As awesome as they are. | ||
| And if you leave them outside... | ||
| No, to kill the rat. | ||
| I was going to have Tony lay there with his butt up in his pants down in the kitchen against a wall. | ||
| Tony Hinchler? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't get it. | |
| How's that gonna kill the cat? | ||
| Richard Gere, you know. | ||
| Richard Gere? | ||
| Like the rat would go in the butt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never mind. | |
| Boy, that was bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus! | |
| Tried everything. | ||
| But you got rid of your rats? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta do it right. | ||
| You gotta kill them with fucking traps, and you gotta set out poison, and you gotta have someone do the whole thing. | ||
| Otherwise, they'll take over your fucking place. | ||
| Luckily, for the last week and a half, there hasn't been one rat. | ||
| Well, it's one reason why I'm pro-coyote. | ||
| Even though coyotes have eaten my chickens, they've killed at least one that I know of, and they might have killed two. | ||
| I think that coyotes are super important for keeping the rat population in check and the mouse population in check. | ||
| Somebody told me if we just had more guinea pigs, they would take care of all that. | ||
| Like, guinea pigs hate rats and mice. | ||
| And I wouldn't mind guinea pigs. | ||
| Those are kind of cool. | ||
| I wouldn't mind seeing those guys. | ||
| Well, there was a show on Anthony Bourdain's old show. | ||
| He did an episode about this family. | ||
| That lived in South America. | ||
| And apparently in a lot of places, guinea pigs are eaten on a regular basis. | ||
| And they keep them as pets. | ||
| So the entire floor of these people's house, like where their kitchen is, there's guinea pigs running all over the place. | ||
| They just grab one of them, kill them, cook them up. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| They're so stupid they don't even know their friend died. | ||
| They're like, where's Mikey? | ||
| They're not like rats. | ||
| They're just like, they're pets. | ||
| And they're, you know, even if you, it's kind of what you're doing if you kill chickens. | ||
| You know, it's just these are just wandering around with you. | ||
| But they're well fed, and then when the time has come and the family needs to eat, they just grab one of those motherfuckers. | ||
| I bet guinea pig's good. | ||
| It looked good. | ||
| The way they were cooking it, it looked like they've done it before. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's probably super lean. | ||
| You know, it's probably a lot like rabbit or something like that. | ||
| I don't like rabbit too much. | ||
| You know, there's mites that grow on rabbits that can kill you. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you get bitten by these mites, they carry diseases, especially like jackrabbits. | ||
| A lot of jackrabbits have them. | ||
| It's really important to be careful. | ||
| If you don't handle them with gloves, or if you get them on your body, and if you get the wrong kind of mites... | ||
| You know how ticks carry Lyme disease? | ||
| Some ticks do. | ||
| Some mites carry this horrible fucking disease that kills people. | ||
| And if you don't get antibiotics in you at the right time, people have died from killing a rabbit and eating it, from the mites biting you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what in the fuck? | |
| I was scared that this rat jumped on Janice and my girlfriend. | ||
| It touched her? | ||
| Well, we thought there was only one rat, so we were cleaning something out in the kitchen, and she picked up this styrofoam thing, and it was attached to the styrofoam. | ||
| It wouldn't let go of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| And so when she picked it up, the rat looked over at her, and it just jumped. | ||
| And luckily, it didn't bite her or anything like that. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What if it got caught in her hair, and it was just fucking chewing its way out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Eddie Ife sent me, he has rats right now. | ||
| He has a huge rat problem because he lives down in the country. | ||
| Eddie Ife lives in a very rural area. | ||
| Yeah, Santa Monica Mountains or something like that, right? | ||
| Well, where he is is like, there's fucking coyotes and mountain lions and all kinds of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that, a keyboard attached to an iPad? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, why that over a laptop? | ||
| Oh, I use a laptop. | ||
| This is for drawing, for DJing, for Kill Tony, and stuff like that. | ||
| I can pretty much do everything that I can on this than my laptop. | ||
| Right, but it doesn't have any storage. | ||
| Yeah, it's got storage. | ||
| But I mean, you can't make a file and leave it on your desktop. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So there's certain things like that I need to do that for. | ||
| But it has memory, like you can store movies on it and songs and stuff like that. | ||
| Oh yeah, it's great. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| And the cool thing is you can just carry it around like this. | ||
| It doesn't have to have the keyboard. | ||
| And the stewardess doesn't give you a hard time when you're watching a movie like that, but if you use the keyboard, you're a bad person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What the fuck is that about? | ||
| Makes no sense. | ||
| You have to close your laptop, but you're allowed to open up your tablet. | ||
| Explain. | ||
| How come I can hold on to a tablet? | ||
| It's safe. | ||
| But if I'm messing around with a keyboard, I might blow this fucker right out of the sky. | ||
| It makes zero sense. | ||
| You have to put away your laptop! | ||
| But you can hold on to your iPad. | ||
| What? | ||
| I'm going to know why this laptop has such a huge brick. | ||
| Because it's a really good laptop. | ||
| It runs Windows. | ||
| I know, but if you get the latest MacBook Pro, like the highest specs ever, it doesn't have a brick like that. | ||
| It has a little power thing. | ||
| Well, I have a backup brick. | ||
| It's a smaller brick than that. | ||
| That's a big brick. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's a brick I bought online. | ||
| And it is a Lenovo brick. | ||
| I think it just works on a lot of different laptops. | ||
| And they make a giant one too that's like a 17 inch one. | ||
| They still make a 17 inch one. | ||
| That's a crazy brick. | ||
| This is, for me, people keep asking me because most people just use Apple stuff and they stay on Apple stuff. | ||
| The hardest thing was trying to use an Android phone. | ||
| I abandoned that. | ||
| The reason why I abandoned that is just too many fucking people send me iMessages. | ||
| And I contacted you and a lot of people. | ||
| I called them up and I said, hey man, do me a favor. | ||
| Change the thing on your phone that says I have an iPhone. | ||
| Change it to just mobile and try to send me a text message. | ||
| I'm going to send you a text message. | ||
| Tell me if you get it. | ||
| And nobody was getting it. | ||
| They were getting my messages, but nobody's messages were getting back to me. | ||
| They were going as iMessages. | ||
| It goes both ways. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| It does go both ways, but I never got the messages back. | ||
| But I even contacted Apple, and I said, pull my email off the iMessage server, the email that I used to have connected to it. | ||
| And they pulled it, and it still wasn't going through. | ||
| So I waited a day, and then after a day, I was saying like 50% of the texts I was sending were going through his texts, and people were replying his texts. | ||
| 50%. | ||
| The rest of it was like a big struggle. | ||
| So I thought, okay, fuck this. | ||
| Like, they make it really hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All the greens that I know, like, constantly, we're having problems. | ||
| Like, why didn't you text me back? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| And then I look at their phone, and they sent me something, or I sent them something. | ||
| But the communication between Android and Apple operating systems is not there still. | ||
| Like, it's not 100%. | ||
| I've never experienced that. | ||
| I've never experienced anybody sending me a green message and me not getting it. | ||
| But fucking for sure, once I switched over to Android, it was a disaster for a solid day and a half. | ||
| And I was in the middle of doing business stuff. | ||
| I was like, I can't do this. | ||
| I need to be able to answer questions. | ||
| I need to be able to, you know. | ||
| So when you try to switch over to Windows, it's easy. | ||
| Windows is easy. | ||
| This Windows 10 is great. | ||
| It works good. | ||
| There's a bunch of things that's different. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It shows me different pictures on my desktop if I decide to every day. | ||
| It shows me new cities and new nature settings and stuff. | ||
| I can open it with my fingerprint. | ||
| There's a lot of the password works on my fingerprint. | ||
| The keyboard's amazing. | ||
| It's a way more comfortable experience typing because... | ||
| I used MacBooks for so fucking long, and they're still great, but MacBooks are metal, and metal doesn't feel as good on your hands. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like this plastic. | ||
| Let's see the keyboard. | ||
| Ah, nice. | ||
| See, like, look at this, man. | ||
| When you want to start this bitch up, you put your fingerprint in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The new MacBooks have the thumbprint, but the new keyboard's awful. | ||
| It's like it doesn't click anymore. | ||
| It's like spongy. | ||
| That's the thing I like the most about this, is that the keyboard, like when you type, listen to this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like you have some travel. | ||
| You have travel to the keys. | ||
| And I think for someone who writes, like for me, my fingers have to be comfortable so I know where the letters are. | ||
| They've got to be comfortable. | ||
| It's like, oh yeah, I get this. | ||
| And when I don't get any feedback, it's not the same loop of information. | ||
| So it doesn't feel as good. | ||
| Like, if I try to type something on one of those virtual keyboards, I try to type things, it just feels so weird. | ||
| I never know where I'm... | ||
| Am I putting my fingers in the right place, in the wrong place? | ||
| It's just not as good. | ||
| This is what Apple changed their keyboard to. | ||
| It's why it feels a little different. | ||
| They call it butterfly keys or some shit. | ||
| And what's the difference? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a little softer. | ||
| This is the old style. | ||
| It's called scissor mechanism. | ||
| So the old style, you feel more of a click? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See, I want more click. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| This new one felt mushy. | ||
| That's what it felt like, mushy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want a click. | ||
| Like, what I like about this, like, feel this. | ||
| Tap those keys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| Yeah, and it's, like, shaped like a little half moon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, the bottom of it has, it's got, like, a little dividend. | ||
| Your fingers sit in there, and you know when you start moving your keys. | ||
| Like, the Apple ones are really flat. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of the things that I don't like that much. | ||
| What I like about this Lenovo, this ThinkPad, is that there's like a contour, like a pool in the middle of these keys. | ||
| They're lower in the middle and higher in the ends, and your fingers float right into that spot, and they feel like it's giving you feedback. | ||
| See, look, you can even tell by this photo that Jamie has up. | ||
| Look, there's barely any difference between a non-pushed button and a pushed button. | ||
| Look how, like, depth there is. | ||
| There's barely anything. | ||
| I need more. | ||
| Me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like it. | |
| I need more. | ||
| But they're trying too hard to be, like, slick-looking and futuristic and minimalistic. | ||
| And the experience of using something is, like, this is a big issue with the car world, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because with new cars, cars are becoming more and more numb to the experience of driving. | ||
| The steering is now electric instead of hydraulic, and your power steering feels weirder. | ||
| It feels very universal. | ||
| No matter what you do, it's easy to turn the wheel. | ||
| And then the body doesn't give as much feedback. | ||
| The suspension is more improved because it absorbs the ground better, so it feels kind of like you're floating. | ||
| You don't feel like when the tires are going to break as much as you used to in the old days. | ||
| In the old days, if you had an old car, like if you had an old 911, that's a perfect example, like a Porsche 911. Those cars were super light, and they didn't have that much power. | ||
| That's one of the things that people don't realize. | ||
| An old Porsche Has probably less power for sure than your truck. | ||
| Like, what do you think your truck has? | ||
| What kind of truck do you have? | ||
| I have a Ford Edge, but it's a 4x4 V6. Yeah, so your V6 probably has like 260 horsepower. | ||
| Let me guess. | ||
| Pull up Ford Edge horsepower. | ||
| Which one do you have? | ||
| Like a 2008 all-wheel drive. | ||
| Let's take a guess here. | ||
| Now think about this. | ||
| This is a truck, right? | ||
| It's a big-ass truck. | ||
| It's got a lot of body to it. | ||
| 265. There we go. | ||
| Bango. | ||
| I nailed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Now, a Porsche 911 from like 1973, I want to say maybe has 140 or 150 horsepower. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| Porsche 911, 1973 horsepower. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's not popping right up. | ||
| Where would it be the best place? | ||
| Just Google horsepower. | ||
| 1973 Porsche 911 stock horsepower. | ||
| Should have it on Wiki. | ||
| Something said it increased from 190 to something. | ||
| Does that sound right? | ||
| Maybe it was a turbo. | ||
| Did they have a turbo in 73? | ||
| I don't think they did. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Anyway, your... | ||
| What do we got? | ||
| Sorry, you said 911. Yeah. | ||
| Carrera popped up. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's the right word. | ||
| 911 Carrera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Carrera means race in some fucking... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| You think German? | ||
| It doesn't seem like it. | ||
| Carrera sounds like an Italian word. | ||
| Yeah, Italian. | ||
| What's that, James? | ||
| I see developing a 210 PS or 210. 210? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So if that's what it is, your truck has 50 more horsepower than a Porsche, which is like a super sports car at the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But that car is so light that you feel everything. | ||
| With those old Porsches, you feel every bump in the road. | ||
| When the tires start to give out, you kind of feel them giving out. | ||
| You feel it in your butt. | ||
| You know when it's happening. | ||
| Modern cars, man, they go numb. | ||
| You don't feel them anymore. | ||
| That's the same thing with, like, electronic stuff. | ||
| Like, I have a mechanical keyboard on my home computer. | ||
| It's like a real clickety-click, clickety-click. | ||
| It feels... | ||
| Is your home computer a PC or a Mac? | ||
| It's a PC. Really? | ||
| It's a Mac rather. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Mac. | ||
| But I would use a PC for a home computer. | ||
| I have no problem. | ||
| I don't do anything, man. | ||
| What do I do? | ||
| I write. | ||
| I write on this. | ||
| And also, there's a program, one of the big issues, like, I've talked about that Write Room program that I use all the time. | ||
| There's one that they make that's even better for Windows. | ||
| It's called, what the fuck is it? | ||
| It's called, like, Focus Writer or something like that. | ||
| Let me see what it's called. | ||
| Carreras. | ||
| Race in Spanish. | ||
| Ah, there we go. | ||
| It was named after a race that it won. | ||
| The car was. | ||
| I've been looking at PCs just because I want to get either the Oculus or the HTC vibe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Focus Writer is the name of this program that I use. | ||
| But it's the same thing as Write Room. | ||
| It just gives you that... | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Green font with a black background. | ||
| It's like DOS. That to me is like the most important thing about writing. | ||
| If I can get a program like that on my computer, what else does it need to do? | ||
| As long as it doesn't fuck me. | ||
| It doesn't let it just crash all the time. | ||
| The thing about these ThinkPads is, they use these, these are military spec, and they use these in a lot of big businesses. | ||
| They don't want these things to fuck up. | ||
| So these are like, it's a very durable computer. | ||
| It's so durable that a lot of these people, they don't even recommend Windows 10. They want Windows 7. They sell it with Windows 7 as an option. | ||
| And I've seen Windows 7. It's like, Jesus Christ, what are we in the 90s here? | ||
| Windows XP Pro. | ||
| Yeah, they go back because it's like super stable. | ||
| Like, it's been worked out. | ||
| You don't need Mac anymore. | ||
| It's nice that they innovate and they keep coming up with cool shit and their phones are still awesome, but... | ||
| The experience on a Windows computer is, in my mind, it's not much different. | ||
| It took me, like, how long, Jamie? | ||
| A couple days? | ||
| I was like, this thing's great. | ||
| I don't have a problem with it at all. | ||
| I don't miss it at all. | ||
| Is that gaming at all? | ||
| It can. | ||
| This is not the best one for gaming. | ||
| This is a work computer. | ||
| But the battery life is fucking insane. | ||
| It looks like it has a great... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It actually looks like the laptop I sold you when I lived in Ohio. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| I went to the airport and I got fucking... | ||
| Flagged for it. | ||
| There's a smaller one, the ThinkPad PX260 or something like that. | ||
| I think that's it. | ||
| But it gets 17 fucking hours. | ||
| 17 hours of use online with not being plugged in. | ||
| I'm looking at Alienware and Razer as the two laptops. | ||
| The new one that they just, this thing, the QHD Plus or whatever. | ||
| The new Razer laptops are like, they're like super high-end laptops. | ||
| Those are beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all aluminum. | ||
| It looks a lot like a MacBook in a lot of ways. | ||
| It's like an aluminum PC version of a MacBook. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jamie, you have an HTC. I got a 5, yeah. | ||
| I didn't get a laptop. | ||
| I got a computer. | ||
| I wanted it to be a little more stable. | ||
| I didn't get the best, highest-end thing you could get. | ||
| Did you just go to, like, Best Buy and just grab a computer? | ||
| I went to Fry's. | ||
| I found something that was... | ||
| I'm sick of Fry's. | ||
| I could have got it at Best Buy, but they didn't. | ||
| The actual computer I found I wanted to get wasn't available at the store at the time. | ||
| It was back-ordered on different places. | ||
| I found somewhere in California I could go get one and have it in my hands that day because I'd ordered a Five and I didn't want it sitting around staring at me and I couldn't use it. | ||
| So I went and got something I could play it with. | ||
| I do almost nothing on this computer other than web surf and write. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It does everything. | ||
| And this thing also has two fucking terabytes. | ||
| Two terabytes of storage in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, when the new Macs didn't have a USB port, I was like, fuck you. | ||
| But do the new computers, do these new left PC ones still have all that shit? | ||
| Yes, this one does. | ||
| This has everything. | ||
| This has HDMI. This thing has everything. | ||
| It has a smart card reader. | ||
| It's like they just keep making things less and less convenient and no options. | ||
| Like, how about you have one of those and then you have one, let's go crazy, with some fucking USB ports. | ||
| How about you have one that has a disposable battery? | ||
| Let us know, like, can you make one with a replaceable battery? | ||
| Isn't that possible, you fucks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Keyboard on the Razer. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Like a screen for your trackpad. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What? | ||
| You can have special hotkeys set up to whatever you want them to be. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Some hotkeys could be your mail. | ||
| Some hotkeys could be... | ||
| YouTube. | ||
| YouTube? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Whatever you want. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's dope. | |
| That's a dope laptop. | ||
| I didn't know it's a center's LED. And it's super thin. | ||
| And how much do they... | ||
| Yeah, how much does that go for? | ||
| I think the Stealth... | ||
| I'm not sure if this is actually the Stealth. | ||
| With this keyboard, it might be a little more specked out, but the Stealth starts at like $1,400, which isn't very bad at all, especially if you want to run the baddest-ass games you can. | ||
| And it can run really bad-ass games, which is insane. | ||
| You can run stuff on ultra settings with these, which looks fantastic. | ||
| So that's way more physical capability than a Mac keyboard, or a Mac laptop would, rather. | ||
| Now, how big did they make them? | ||
| Because that's another thing that annoyed me. | ||
| It's when Apple stopped doing the 17-inch one. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They make a 17? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Well, what Apple's done... | ||
| Let's see if they make a 17-inch one. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Oh my god, 17 inches. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| Let's see a big picture. | ||
| Look at the fucking size of that thing. | ||
| Look at the Blade Pro. | ||
| The Blade Pro looks better. | ||
| But again, here, look, I'm sure those are badass, and they're probably better than this for running games on it. | ||
| And if I wanted to run games, I'd be all over that shit. | ||
| You don't want to get virtual reality? | ||
| No! | ||
| I'm too busy! | ||
| That PlayStation virtual reality really got me... | ||
| I have a pool table game. | ||
| You can play pool. | ||
| I have a pool table right out there. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Come on, let's play. | ||
| But it's got me addicted. | ||
| I'm addicted to it now. | ||
| But I really want to play the HTC. I don't know which one to get though. | ||
| Dude, the vibe that Duncan has is fucking insane. | ||
| And there's a boxing game that you play on it. | ||
| It's kind of weird because for the knuckles to come out like this, like they would if you're punching somebody, you have to hold your hand upright. | ||
| So that the bottom of your hand is facing the ground and your thumb is facing up. | ||
| So that's the only way you get the gloves to look right. | ||
| So it feels weird because you're punching them like this kind of. | ||
| You're not turning your knuckles over. | ||
| But that's just in your head. | ||
| If you could get over the fact that the knuckles look different on screen, you could just turn your hands in and punch like you normally would. | ||
| You get a workout doing it, man. | ||
| It's like a real workout. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you're boxing against a dude. | ||
| You're moving. | ||
| And he's throwing punches at you. | ||
| You're trying to get out of the way. | ||
| And he hits you like everything lights up. | ||
| It gets white like you just got hit. | ||
| Yeah, I want to do it. | ||
| There's a way you can get all the... | ||
| I'm pretty sure of this, too. | ||
| You can get all the Oculus games on the Vive. | ||
| You can? | ||
| I don't think you can do it the other way around. | ||
| Doesn't the Vive have more cameras, so it has a larger... | ||
| It uses something called room scale, so there's two. | ||
| You can buy more if you want. | ||
| I'm not sure really why you would want to buy more yet, but it comes with two... | ||
| Lighthouses is what they're called. | ||
| You play six and a half feet off the ground. | ||
| They figure out where you are and track you. | ||
| Track the headset, track your hands in the room so they always kind of know what's right, what's left. | ||
| You don't have to keep switching your hands around. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's another game that Duncan had that's an archery game that's fucking amazing. | ||
| I have that. | ||
| When you draw back and they're raiding the castle, they're coming at you and you shoot at them. | ||
| They're like circles with shields in front of them and spears. | ||
| How long ago would you say you did that with Duncan? | ||
| September, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, probably around then. | ||
| Just in that amount of time, from now until then, there's three cooler archery games that have come out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| There's like a hunting experience game where you're like walking around the woods. | ||
| You know what I would really like? | ||
| I would really like if they made one where I could use my real bow. | ||
| Oh, that'd be cool. | ||
| Because if I could use my real bow and I could draw it back, it would have to be in some sort of a secured room. | ||
| You take off the headset and there's a bunch of dead people everywhere. | ||
| But it would actually help you because of the weight of the bow. | ||
| You want to feel the exact weight. | ||
| The biggest issue right now with that is that that headset gets in the way of when you're trying, like, you draw a bow, you put it next to your head, that thing's going to get in the way. | ||
| Yeah, it would hit your thing. | ||
| Because as I'm doing it now, I'm just pulling it back like this on Dunkin's. | ||
| But I know there's a video game. | ||
| Let's look this up. | ||
| Maybe this would be a new thing for the new studio. | ||
| There's an archery game where you actually shoot at a screen, and animals walk in front, and you shoot a real bow at the screen, and where it hits, it lights up. | ||
| You're not shooting arrows, though, are you? | ||
| Yes, you are. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| You're shooting a real fucking arrow at a real screen. | ||
| I'm down with that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| Real tree, wide-tail country. | ||
| I don't know if this is it. | ||
| Okay, this is it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Techno hunt. | ||
| Techno hunt. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So watch. | ||
| This guy's got a video. | ||
| And he's standing in front of the screen. | ||
| He's going to shoot it. | ||
| Oh yeah, look at this. | ||
| So it looks like it's about 40 yards away. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| I should say 40 feet away. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He's going to shoot at it. | ||
| Perfect shot right there. | ||
| Oh, that sounds stupid. | ||
| You would shoot through your screen immediately. | ||
| No, but that's what he just did. | ||
| That stuck into the screen, didn't it? | ||
| No, that was a picture of an arrow. | ||
| So what is it, a fake arrow? | ||
| Yeah, right away you see the arrow bounce off. | ||
| Wait a minute, let me see it. | ||
| Let me just do it again. | ||
| Do it again. | ||
| This is like from 1982, I think. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| So he hit it, and then it shows where you hit. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a big fake arrow. | ||
| Yeah, that's a fake arrow, but he actually did hit it where the fake arrow points. | ||
| The fake arrow's just indicating what spot on the screen his arrow hit. | ||
| Yeah, listen. | ||
| Hear it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect angle to slip one in there. | |
| But your super powerful bow would shoot some shit through a wall, right? | ||
| You would want to use a less powerful bow. | ||
| Yeah, I think you actually have to. | ||
| Cam Haynes was playing this game and he told me they had to detune his bow. | ||
| And I think at the time he was shooting with a 70-pound bow. | ||
| I think he was shooting with a carbon spider turbo, but I might be wrong. | ||
| But the carbon spider turbo, they didn't make that any faster than 70 pounds or any more weight. | ||
| I think it's probably a feet per second and kinetic energy thing. | ||
| Like the arrow probably has to be a certain weight too. | ||
| Would it just be more fun or would you actually be getting benefit out of practicing with something that's less powerful than what you usually use? | ||
| There's a different feel to a less powerful bow, but the principles of archery are the same. | ||
| As long as you hold right, pull through the shot, anchor in the same way, use the correct body positioning. | ||
| I'm going to do archery. | ||
| Dude, archery's awesome. | ||
| I love doing it. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| And if it wasn't for my friend Cameron Haynes and my friend John Dudley, I wouldn't know shit about it. | ||
| It takes a long time to learn. | ||
| Okay, this is a different one. | ||
| So this guy's doing it here. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Oh, that's better. | ||
| Let me see that again. | ||
| Back that up again. | ||
| So he shoots, and where does his arrow go? | ||
| So it does bounce off the wall. | ||
| See, you have to use a bitch-ass bow, and it's kind of a rubber point at the end. | ||
| Well, it's good practice for sure. | ||
| See, he's hitting perfect every time. | ||
| So it's good practice for that, for aiming and hitting the vitals and all that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But it can't be more than... | ||
| This is like 20 yards away, it looks like. | ||
| Because like that big buck hunting game, you're not getting any hunting value out of that. | ||
| It's just fun to shoot fake shit with a fake shot. | ||
| No, but this is they're shooting a real bow. | ||
| So to answer your question, the difference between shooting like a 50-pound bow with these light arrows that bounces off the screen, like what benefit you would get, you'd get a lot of benefit. | ||
| Like you don't need a big, heavy bow To get the benefit of being accurate. | ||
| People are accurate with really, really light bows. | ||
| And that's really all you'd worry about. | ||
| As long as you have the strength... | ||
| How rude, they're going to shoot a rabbit. | ||
| As long as you have the strength... | ||
| Right in the eyeball. | ||
| Bullseye. | ||
| Okay, let's stop. | ||
| Who's the name of this company? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
| I shot it in the eyeball and it says bullseye. | ||
| I feel like I could design a better version of that. | ||
| Well, it's probably super hard to make something where you can actually shoot something at a screen and it registers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, find out... | ||
| I bet that's expensive as fuck. | ||
| That's probably the same technology that does the golf simulators. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But the difference between a golf thing is that golf is a ball. | ||
| You're knocking it into a screen. | ||
| It's still going fast as shit, though. | ||
| Not as fast as a bow. | ||
| Yeah, but you could probably have something where it's just... | ||
| It's going in a different way, though. | ||
| There's a point on the end of a bow. | ||
| Or an arrow, rather. | ||
| Okay, I bet a golf club, when you hit a golf ball, I bet it does go faster if you really drive it. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Okay, how many feet per second do you think someone drives a golf ball? | ||
| Feet per second? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| How many feet per second does Tiger Woods knock a golf ball? | ||
| Who hits it harder? | ||
| John Daly? | ||
| John Daly hit it harder than Tiger Woods? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You see Tiger's nipples? | ||
| His nipples. | ||
| Did you see it, Jamie? | ||
| He released a shirtless photo and his nipples have been the talk of the town. | ||
| He's got weird nipples. | ||
| Time to move to a new town. | ||
| You live in the wrong fucking town. | ||
| All they're talking about is Tiger Woods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Hey! | ||
| Open up, man. | ||
| Have you heard about Tiger's nipples? | ||
| Look at his nipples. | ||
| What's going on with his goatee? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| It's something he said he does for his kids. | ||
| It's like Badass Santa or some shit. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's a loophole. | ||
| If I was Brendan Schaub, I would say, for sure, don't do that anymore. | ||
| What is the feet per second of a golf ball? | ||
|
unidentified
|
100. You had to take me on a nipple detour, huh? | |
| How many feet per second does a golf ball travel? | ||
| 150. I'd say 150. How many feet per second does a golf ball travel? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| You say 50? | ||
| No, you're crazy. | ||
| 150. No, it's probably more than that. | ||
| It's probably about as fast as a bow and arrow. | ||
| 250 feet per second. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's good terminal speed for an arrow. | ||
| Like, that's what you want. | ||
| The rule is that you can't hit a ball faster than that in the USGA. What? | ||
| You can tell someone they can't hit it faster? | ||
| Maximum tolerance of 2% will be allowed. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't get... | ||
| Like, what if you get some dude who's like, okay, how about this? | ||
| What if, like, Kobe Bryant goes into golf? | ||
| Think of a super athlete driving a golf ball perfectly. | ||
| You can calculate with your swing and the weight and the speed of your driver and the club face and all that. | ||
| And then balls weigh different amounts, too. | ||
| Maybe because there's people standing around, you could fuck somebody up. | ||
| You're fucking them up no matter what, man. | ||
| You hit them 200 miles an hour in the face, you're fucking them up. | ||
| I don't know, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Max speed of 72 is what they hit. | ||
| But imagine if you did have a guy like a Kobe Bryant. | ||
| Or like a LeBron James gets in a golf. | ||
| Like LeBron James gets in a golf. | ||
| And it can knock a fucking golf ball to the moon. | ||
| But that's about the same speed an arrow goes. | ||
| If it's a good, heavy arrow... | ||
| A lot of people like to try to keep their arrows actually under 280 feet per second. | ||
| Between 280 and some people get up to 290-ish. | ||
| But they feel like when the arrows go faster than that, the flight gets compromised. | ||
| It's like there's too much... | ||
| Yeah, because there's almost like... | ||
| Too much wind resistance. | ||
| The wind impacts the way the thing spins. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Long drives. | ||
| That's a guy hitting about 200 mile an hour ball. | ||
| Okay, but what is that in feet per second? | ||
| Just Google 206 miles an hour equals feet per second. | ||
| Find out what the fuck that means. | ||
| In feet per second. | ||
| Hmm, what do you think it is? | ||
| 302. Okay, so that's about what you would expect from like a top end bow with a fairly light arrow. | ||
| But like I said, most people try to keep their arrows a little slower than that, believe it or not. | ||
| So what they would do is they'd make a heavier arrow. | ||
| So like if you had a 400 grain arrow and you were coming in at 302 feet per second, a lot of people would tell you you're probably better off with a 450 grain arrow that comes in around 270, something like that. | ||
| Yeah, 270, 280. Yeah, you want more control. | ||
| It's more forgiving, and also it has more impact. | ||
| Like a light arrow going really fast doesn't do the damage that a heavy arrow going fast does. | ||
| Same difference in golf tonight, too. | ||
| They get more control over their ball so it lands somewhere they want it to land as opposed to just going... | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That's the thing with Poole, too. | ||
| The break shot in Poole. | ||
| Like, there's arguments that, like, there's a guy named Shane Van Boning, who's probably one of the best breakers in the history of Poole. | ||
| He breaks so good, but he doesn't put near the effort into it that all these other guys do. | ||
| Some other guys throw their body into it, like karate, like they're fucking trying to kick through a wall, and they have this crazy impact on the balls. | ||
| But Shane, what he does is he stays flat on the ball, And he just strokes through it perfectly, so the ball is almost never in the air. | ||
| The problem with hitting a pool ball, like this guy has a ridiculous break shot. | ||
| Like, you can't tell from that picture, but I've seen him do it live a bunch of times. | ||
| I've actually watched him play in person several times. | ||
| He's fucking amazing. | ||
| But he doesn't hit it as hard as other guys do. | ||
| He just hits it more perfect. | ||
| When you look at, like, high-speed photography of a pool cue, when a guy hits it really hard, the ball is actually in the air. | ||
| Like, when it's in the air, when it impacts... | ||
| Like, see how it hops like that, too? | ||
| That's also just from the force of it. | ||
| But look at all these balls fucking flying all over the place. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Like, he's a freak in that regard. | ||
| But it's just perfect accuracy and precision. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's a matter of, like, the perfect mechanics and, like, this loose... | ||
| Like, fluid motion. | ||
| Fluid and efficient motion. | ||
| And that's what they say is the same thing about golf. | ||
| That driving of the ball. | ||
| It's not about muscling it, right? | ||
| It's about, like, driving through it. | ||
| Like, when I play pool, and I'm playing good, like, I'm never really good. | ||
| But when I'm better... | ||
| What happens is I get to a point where I'm just like, the cue's doing all the work. | ||
| I'm just like letting, I'm like moving into the spot and I just like let it just sort of, like I don't ever tighten my hand up on it. | ||
| I don't punch it. | ||
| It just flows. | ||
| And when you do that, it's crazy. | ||
| Like you see the ball moving way more than it normally does. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And it's just like this fluid and efficient impact that it has with the ball. | ||
| And I guess that's the same with golf and with probably with everything, right? | ||
| I don't know about everything, but golf is definitely that. | ||
| It's like, don't grip and rip. | ||
| Some people say grip and rip it. | ||
| It's how they do it. | ||
| But you shouldn't be swinging like a baseball bat, like swinging for home runs. | ||
| You're not going to succeed necessarily. | ||
| That's the same as fighting. | ||
| But in fighting, the other way works too. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| There's no hard, fast rule. | ||
| Someone can come down, bite down their mouthpiece, and throw fucking haymakers and catch you in the chin and knock you out cold. | ||
| Or someone can Conor McGregor you. | ||
| Like the way Conor McGregor Aldo'd, When he knocked out Aldo with one punch 13 seconds into the fight, the way he did it was just precision. | ||
| He just slid back and just dropped it in there and Aldo's face went squirrely and his brain went off. | ||
| I mean, that was like the perfect example of precision versus power. | ||
| Because what Aldo does is he bites down on his mouthpiece and he wings his vicious left hook. | ||
| He throws his right hand like this and he throws his vicious left hook behind it. | ||
| And it's all to try to set up the left hook. | ||
| Conor slides out of the way, drops his left end in on Aldo while Aldo's throwing the left hook. | ||
| And then the left hook kind of makes impact on Conor's face, but probably didn't have much more than momentum behind it because Aldo was already out. | ||
| Like, the punch was perfect. | ||
| That's gotta haunt you. | ||
| But the way he did it, man, it was just all precision. | ||
| Like, watch. | ||
| Play it back again. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| No, no, play it from the beginning. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Slide. | ||
| Blink. | ||
| See, he got tagged, like, right on the cheekbone. | ||
| That could have been a double knockout. | ||
| Imagine if he got tagged on the chin, on the point of the chin. | ||
| That guy's a savage. | ||
| I'm so glad people like Conor McGregor exist. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Just flattened him. | ||
| One shot. | ||
| Blam. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| That's some strong mind power there, baby. | ||
| To be able to stay that calm in the heat of a firefight and just slide out and just precision drop a punch in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Follow me, Brian? | ||
| Look, you fall asleep? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brian's gone. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| What happened to you? | ||
| You know, I'm on Team Diaz, so I don't like talking about Connor. | ||
| I love Diaz, too. | ||
| What? | ||
| The comparisons to Snatch to Connor, like the character of whatever Brad Pitt was. | ||
| No, it was terrible. | ||
| That guy couldn't talk. | ||
| That's fucking terrible. | ||
| Who compared them? | ||
| I see stuff online all the time. | ||
| People are so stupid. | ||
| Most people should... | ||
| You should have a license to talk. | ||
| Oh, it's the worst. | ||
| You should have to go through... | ||
| In order to use social media, you should have to go through an extensive test. | ||
| People are so addicted to Twitter and Instagram and all that stuff. | ||
| You should go through an extensive spelling test. | ||
| How do you say you're? | ||
| Do you say Y-O-U-R? Or do you say you are? | ||
| Do you say Y-O-U apostrophe R-E? Or... | ||
| That you are. | ||
| No. | ||
| You are. | ||
| Wait, does Eddie still do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Remember when he used to do it a long time ago? | ||
| He was going hard with texting early on. | ||
| You know, a lot of sites are getting rid of comment sections. | ||
| What? | ||
| Like that, places for people to comment. | ||
| Just to take that ability away. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Like Vice is one of them. | ||
| It's not a bad idea in some certain circles. | ||
| Because some things, it's interesting. | ||
| Like, I love reading in science articles where people start debating... | ||
| Like the legitimacy of certain points or, you know, what are the options for considering the evidence? | ||
| Is there anything else that maybe is being overlooked? | ||
| And you get some really interesting responses from people that actually understand the subject. | ||
| But man, as soon as it has anything to do with... | ||
| Politics or gender. | ||
| Those two fucking things, man. | ||
| Those two things. | ||
| Everybody gets nuts. | ||
| There was a video that MTV put out. | ||
| It was New Year's Resolutions for White Guys. | ||
| It was one of the worst fucking most racist, sexist videos I've ever seen. | ||
| I saw you tweet that. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| Like, imagine if anybody had ever made a video like that about any, like, generalization about a hundred million people. | ||
| I mean, that's what it is. | ||
| It's a general, like, if you say, how many white guys are in America? | ||
| Let's just guess. | ||
| How many white males are in America? | ||
| Not enough. | ||
| Princess Leia had a heart attack. | ||
| Yeah, she's okay right now, though. | ||
| She's stable. | ||
| Okay, how many... | ||
| 62% of the U.S. population is white. | ||
| 62% of the U.S. What percentage are white males? | ||
| White... | ||
| White males. | ||
| ...constitute the majority, which is about 77%. | ||
| How many white males? | ||
| I did some type in males though. | ||
| White men are 31% of the population there. | ||
| Okay, so we're 31% of the population. | ||
| There's 350 million people. | ||
| Somewhere around 100 million people, right? | ||
| It's in that neighborhood between 80 and 100 million, right? | ||
| What a crazy thing to generalize. | ||
| Like, just to make a video about white men. | ||
| Just like, hey, white guys. | ||
| How about you get your shit together? | ||
| Like, just white guys? | ||
| Just white guys. | ||
| Like, holy shit. | ||
| Do you want to do this about black guys, too? | ||
| Why don't you see what happens when you do it about black guys? | ||
| How about you do it about black women? | ||
| See how quick somebody beats the fuck out of you. | ||
| How come you can do that about white guys? | ||
| The idea is that white men are the privileged and that white men have this advantage. | ||
| So you should attack that advantage by being racist towards them. | ||
| The best way to stop racism is to be racist towards people who you think are racist. | ||
| It's hilarious! | ||
| It's so stupid! | ||
| It's so... | ||
| It's unbelievable that MTV News thought they should do a video like that. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| MTV's the worst. | ||
| I mean, like, have you watched MTV recently? | ||
| I'm sorry, do you like MTV? No, I've never watched it. | ||
| I try, I mean... | ||
| I don't even watch TV anymore. | ||
| I don't have cable anymore, so I have, you know, PS View or whatever, or Sling, and... | ||
| So I have certain channels I normally, but not as many as I used to have. | ||
| So like I'll watch MTV more just because I have it and it's one of 30 channels. | ||
| But MTV is just garbage channel now. | ||
| Like there's nothing, we're too old for it. | ||
| That's like, you have to be 18 to 22 to have any... | ||
| Well, they have that show, what is it, Ridiculous? | ||
| Is that on MTV? Oh, God. | ||
| That show is just all a bunch of videos of people getting jacked on the internet, right? | ||
| And then everything else is, they don't have videos anymore, right? | ||
| No videos. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| Every video is on YouTube. | ||
| What a weird time. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what was cool when they had videos is you learned about new bands because you saw their video. | ||
| Yeah, but nobody wants to watch those anymore. | ||
| I guess they played videos versus people falling on their head. | ||
| People go to falling on their head every day. | ||
| So they just went where the money is. | ||
| So the idea is that they're just trying to appeal to social justice warriors by making this video. | ||
| This one girl in the video, she goes, find out what mansplaining is and then don't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| What a ridiculous idea that you can be condescending about someone being condescending and that somehow or another is going to work. | ||
| All the thought behind making a video like that is exactly how Trump got elected. | ||
| When you tell people what to do, they automatically want to do the other thing, even if they wouldn't want to do the other thing if you hadn't said shit. | ||
| But when you push people and you tell people You make up ridiculous standards the way people are supposed to behave because you think they should behave like that and that you are allowed to make gigantic gross generalizations about an entire group of 100 million people just because you think it's open season on white guys. | ||
| That is how people like Trump get elected because people push back against your ridiculous political correctness and go towards what's the enemy of that? | ||
| What's the enemy of political correctness? | ||
| That pussy grabbing guy. | ||
| Let's fucking vote him in. | ||
| And that's what happens. | ||
| That's exactly what happens. | ||
| These people, the people that are so mad that Trump is in office, are directly responsible for hordes of people voting for Trump, because they are sick of where the PC generation is pointing. | ||
| It's an irrational point of view. | ||
| It's not objective. | ||
| If anything has to do with gender or homosexuality, whoever has to do with any of those things is no longer considered as an individual. | ||
| Then you're considered as a part of an untouchable group that is almost always exonerated of anything they've done wrong. | ||
| It's just you get to this weird, fake world where people aren't people anymore. | ||
| They're figureheads for ideologies. | ||
| That's the problem with political correctness as much as it's a problem with people that are super right-wing or people that are born-again Christians. | ||
| It's fucking up comedy. | ||
| So many comedians have been talking about lately how they've had to stop themselves on stage And not go down a route they normally would always go down because of the recent racist shit and the PC shit so much different in the last even six months. | ||
| Well, there's definitely more pushback, but there's always been pushback. | ||
| Have you noticed a change? | ||
| Have you noticed certain things you won't say now or do now? | ||
| Well, it makes you just back up what you want to say better. | ||
| It makes you reinforce your arguments better. | ||
| If you're going to have something to say to people, you have to have... | ||
| You know, you have to have a real point, and you have to be able to back up what you're saying. | ||
| You have to be able to explain what you're saying. | ||
| That's why I did that whole bit about, not in Triggered, the Netflix special, but the one before that, the Comedy Central special, about words. | ||
| About how, like, you can't just decide that jokes aren't real. | ||
| Or rather, that jokes are real. | ||
| Like, when someone's telling a joke on stage, you know that guy doesn't mean what he's saying. | ||
| So that's why, in that special, I said, I'm gonna say some things that are true. | ||
| And I'm gonna say a lot of shit that's funnier than the truth, so I'm gonna lie. | ||
| Like, if it's funnier to lie, I'm gonna lie. | ||
| Like, you gotta know. | ||
| Like, sometimes I'm gonna tell you the truth. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And sometimes I'm gonna say shit that's not true at all because it's funnier than the truth. | ||
| Like, here's some truth. | ||
| My wife is tired of fucking me. | ||
| A great bit. | ||
| But she never says no, because if she did, I'd rape her. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm joking. | ||
| I would never rape her. | ||
| See, that's not true. | ||
| I go, the worst I would do is hold her down and titty fuck her butt cheeks. | ||
| I wouldn't do that either. | ||
| These are not true statements. | ||
| I would never do that thing. | ||
| She's the mother of my children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So good. | |
| I wouldn't do that. | ||
| But you could say that, and you know I'm not being honest. | ||
| You know that's not true. | ||
| You know that's a joke. | ||
| You know when someone says something fucking ridiculous like that, that they don't mean it. | ||
| To joke, like when Brian Holtzman used to have that joke about that woman who drowned her kids. | ||
| He goes, I heard those were bad kids. | ||
| I heard they sat that close to the TV. They never put away their blocks. | ||
| Those kids would not be missed. | ||
| They always spilt their milk. | ||
| It was like, holy shit! | ||
| But you knew that he didn't really think that, which was the whole point of it. | ||
| That's the problem with today, is people just looking to call people out for shit they don't think people should say anymore. | ||
| You know, in some ways, maybe they're right. | ||
| I mean, you go back to old stuff, like go back and try to watch Eddie Murphy Raw. | ||
| And you're like, wow, I don't know if I'd be laughing at this now. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that shit too, right? | ||
| I saw, fuck, what movie was it? | ||
| Something so innocent, like Ghostbusters, like the original Ghostbusters, something where they called somebody a certain name. | ||
| I think they said Chink. | ||
| Hey, yeah, yeah, Chink. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It was just like, back then I remember going, oh, Chink's not that bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now there's no differentiation between chink and anything else. | ||
| Any other slur. | ||
| Spick. | ||
| Chink and spick are all the same. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| The racist Bugs Bunny stuff from back in the day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was about Japanese people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bugs Bunny nips the nips or something so bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that was during World War II. Yeah, man. | ||
| We've changed. | ||
| Human beings have changed. | ||
| When it comes to comedy, we just have to be clear that we're fucking around. | ||
| People are allowed to say things that they don't really mean. | ||
| We were talking about this Donald Trump thing when he was interviewing that guy, or he was on a bus with that guy, and he said a bunch of shit about women. | ||
| Guys do that for fun. | ||
| They say shit, like Joey Diaz is the master at that. | ||
| He'll say unbelievably ridiculous shit to you that you know he doesn't mean. | ||
| You know, and you'll just be crying laughing. | ||
| You know, he's talking about stabbing people, about throwing them out the fucking window, and he doesn't mean it. | ||
| You know he doesn't mean it, but it's funny. | ||
| What do you got on your screen, dude? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I was just going to talk about something later. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| That's why I tell you to put those things away. | ||
| I want to continue with what you said. | ||
| You always want to start surfing. | ||
| You're so addicted. | ||
| I'm not addicted. | ||
| You've got to have a conversation. | ||
| You can't just stare at that fucking screen. | ||
| Those goddamn things will suck you in. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They suck you in, dude. | ||
| You can't help it. | ||
| I start talking. | ||
| You're like, well, I'm not talking right now. | ||
| Let me just surf this way over here real quick. | ||
| No, I was just trying to find... | ||
| I just hate when, instead of going, well, I think this and this and that, I'd rather go, okay, it is true, before I even go down that way, you know? | ||
| Right, I get it. | ||
| It's kind of like live fact-checking, but... | ||
| Just ask Jamie. | ||
| He'll check it for you. | ||
| He's trying. | ||
| No, don't worry about him. | ||
| What would you want to talk about? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| It wasn't true. | ||
| What was it that you thought was true? | ||
| What were you just talking about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You weren't paying attention. | ||
| You were reading. | ||
| I had a point about what you were talking about. | ||
| Now I can't remember what it was about. | ||
| You were just talking about... | ||
| Donald Trump and Billy Bush on a bus talking. | ||
| About Joey Diaz saying ridiculous things that you know he doesn't really mean. | ||
| Not anybody doing it. | ||
| But the thing with Joey is that he says ridiculous things mixed with things that are true, but you don't know which are real and which are fake. | ||
| It's like Gonzo journalism. | ||
| Mugging the fag. | ||
| That's true, though. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But how much is true? | ||
| The guy beat the shit out of him. | ||
| He told me that story a long time ago. | ||
| He tried to sucker punch this guy, and the guy was gay, and the guy knew how to fight, and the guy beat the shit out of him. | ||
| And he was beating the shit out of him while he was calling for the cops. | ||
| The guy knew how to box. | ||
| Or the guy that he, like, the guy brought over all the cocaine, you know, and he, like, he went to jail. | ||
| Are you saying Joey's a liar? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Oh, you're in trouble. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I think you're misemployed. | ||
| No, I'm saying that he has stories like those mixed in with stories that aren't real, so it's like you're really confused that, like, you know, which is real and which is not. | ||
| You're probably the only one confused. | ||
| No, no, like... | ||
| You can tell when he's telling jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, all right. | ||
| Jamie, does Joey confuse you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Seems pretty direct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it seems like when, you know, some of the stuff that you think is like, oh, this is his jokes or his ridiculous stuff might actually be real. | ||
| Well, the problem with Joey is his life has been so crazy and so colorful that he'll still, to this day, tell me stories that I haven't heard before. | ||
| Like, how do you have more stories? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But he does. | ||
| I think his whole life, from the time he was like a little boy until he was like into his 40s, was just chaos. | ||
| So he just has... | ||
| A good solid 30 years of chaos stories. | ||
| Like, legitimate chaos stories. | ||
| Have you seen his new special yet on CISO? Use coupon code Joey for two months. | ||
| Have you seen it yet? | ||
| I have not seen it yet. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| That's one of those weird networks that I'm like... | ||
| Yeah, you gotta sign up for that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's weird to cancel, probably. | ||
| I hope it does well. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And I hope... | ||
| I mean, CISO. Of course, I hope Joey's thing does well. | ||
| But I hope also they port their stuff to other places once they get their money back. | ||
| A lot of times they'll do that. | ||
| They'll sell them again somewhere else. | ||
| Somebody special just was released on CISO, like Nick Thune or something like yesterday, and it says available on CISO and Amazon. | ||
| That's a good deal. | ||
| You're going to get the dorks on Amazon, but how many people are really using Amazon to watch movies? | ||
| Netflix would probably be way ahead of Amazon. | ||
| I feel like a lot of people don't know that if they have Amazon Prime, they get access to that app. | ||
| You don't get everything because they work in their rental movies and stuff in that app too. | ||
| You get a decent amount of content. | ||
| For free? | ||
| And there's a whole music app you get too. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty huge. | ||
| And they also have that Top Gear show, which they said is the most illegally downloaded show in history. | ||
| Wow, the new one? | ||
| The new one. | ||
| They said the first episode in particular is the most illegally downloaded episode of any show ever. | ||
| So way more people downloaded it illegally than watched it on Amazon. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Well, it is crazy because they paid a shitload of money for that. | ||
| And the idea is that, well, once it gets on Amazon, a bunch of people jump over to Amazon because that was the number one TV show in the world. | ||
| That show, Top Gear, with Richard Hammond and James May and those guys, they're a giant team. | ||
| I mean, when it comes to the whole world watching a show, that's probably the most watched show in the world, and it's on Amazon. | ||
| In general, it's just them driving around mostly and just talking shit to each other. | ||
| Talking shit. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| They're funny. | ||
| Didn't they fire somebody recently that was on that show? | ||
| Yeah, the main guy. | ||
| What the fuck's his name again? | ||
| On the one that's on the BBC? Yeah. | ||
| Chris? | ||
| No, the real one. | ||
| Yeah, Jeremy Clarkson. | ||
| It escaped me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The weed. | |
| I bring the weed. | ||
| But Jeremy Clarkson's hilarious. | ||
| He's really funny. | ||
| He says a lot of fucking hilarious shit and he talks shit about companies too. | ||
| He talks about, he reviews cars in a way that like no other, no American show would ever be able to do. | ||
| You'd never be able to get away with it. | ||
| He shits on them. | ||
| Like, he shits on Porsches. | ||
| He hates Porsches. | ||
| He calls them, like, VW bugs. | ||
| And it's in 4K, which is one of the things, like, same with Netflix's originals. | ||
| It's one of the only things that's 4K content for your new 4K TV if people are looking for shit. | ||
| It's just hard to find. | ||
| So anyway, people take it, and then they upload it, and it's just uploaded like crazy. | ||
| It's on all of those BitTorrents and all those different sites, and just millions and millions and millions of people are downloading it. | ||
| So you've got to think of how much Amazon paid for it, and then how few people are actually using their service. | ||
| If you had to guess, how many more people use Netflix than anything else, as far as Amazon or Hulu? | ||
| I use Hulu more now. | ||
| I use Netflix now. | ||
| I barely use Netflix anymore. | ||
| I use Hulu all the time now. | ||
| What do you get on Hulu? | ||
| Like all the local channels. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You get local TV channels? | ||
| Like news and shit? | ||
| Like the NBC shows, the CBS shows, the Fox shows. | ||
| But you get news and all those other things? | ||
| Like NBC News? | ||
| No, I get that on Sling and PSU. What's that? | ||
| What's Sling? | ||
| Sling is like live TV, but you can pick and choose which way you want. | ||
| I have NBC, ABC, CBS. I have Food Network, things like that. | ||
| There's like 40 channels you can get. | ||
| The best one is PlayStation now. | ||
| Well, there was... | ||
| My friend had Alexa. | ||
| He has Amazon and you talk to Alexa and it shuts the lights out and does all that weird shit. | ||
| And he had a bunch of channels when I was looking at his stuff that I'd never even seen before. | ||
| And one of them was like all Montreal Comedy Festival. | ||
| It was like all people that I knew performing in the Montreal Comedy Festival. | ||
| I was like, this is weird. | ||
| Oh, not Alexa. | ||
| You're talking about Amazon Fire? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The box? | ||
| But he has Alexa. | ||
| Like, you talk to her. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You say, Alexa, please turn on the TV. Alexa, turn on Channel 5. I have the Alexa that looks like a mug. | ||
| You know that Alexa? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But my point being is that there's a bunch of channels that I never even knew existed that are on this that are essentially live TV. They have programming. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So you're watching it just like you would watch DirecTV. | ||
| If you would watch DirecTV, one show becomes the next show, becomes the next show. | ||
| You just watch them in a series, they play out in a row. | ||
| They had this on these weird little channels. | ||
| And I'm like, how many of these channels are there? | ||
| And he was like, there's a lot of them. | ||
| There is. | ||
| They're growing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, well, this is television. | ||
| This is online television. | ||
| Like, this isn't just like a Netflix show where you tune in, and then when you plus play, it starts. | ||
| No, these things have a schedule. | ||
| Like, this is on from 7 to 8. This is on from 8 to 9. It's fucking TV, but it's online, and it's streaming. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| This is different. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of those and a lot of them have apps now. | ||
| So you can just download like the app on like the Apple TV. Well, here's the problem. | ||
| What's so fucking great about DirecTV? | ||
| What's so great about AT&T? What's so great about their choices? | ||
| I guess in terms of like entertainment content, how many of these fucking ghost shows you get to put on? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Oh, another guy cooking. | ||
| Whoa, let me tune in. | ||
| Oh, look, orders. | ||
| I got a certain point in time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I've been doing this too for like about a year. | ||
| I've cut my cable channel. | ||
| Mostly just because I still want to watch live sports. | ||
| I still watch NBA basketball games. | ||
| There's still a couple football games I want to watch. | ||
| From time to time though, it'll freeze. | ||
| And at the worst time possible when the quarter's about to end or some really important shit's going to happen. | ||
| Or if you're watching a UFC fight. | ||
| It's the only problem. | ||
| You lose a minute of a round in the middle of the third round of the last fight or something like that. | ||
| There's definitely bullshit like that. | ||
| That's the difference on your DirecTV or AT&T or Time Warner. | ||
| It's just what we're used to. | ||
| It always comes in unless there's a giant storm that cut everything out for the entire country or whatever. | ||
| It almost always works. | ||
| For now, it's going to get better. | ||
| It's way better now than it was 10 years ago. | ||
| Think about how bad it was when you first got online. | ||
| Real player buffering. | ||
| Oh god, everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Almost everything. | ||
| Anytime you watch a YouTube video, you've got to pause it and wait. | ||
| We're living in a new era when it comes to the accessibility of stuff. | ||
| And as the internet gets stronger and stronger, the signals are getting better and better. | ||
| I mean, we're on 4G LTE now, right? | ||
| What's 5 going to be like? | ||
| What's 6? | ||
| What's 7? | ||
| How powerful is that stuff going to be in terms of download speeds? | ||
| So when you hear like a 97% work rate, everything works 97% of the time. | ||
| You don't want to be in the 3% of the time when it doesn't work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I know a lot of people that get Stitcher on their car. | ||
| It's like a native app on their car now. | ||
| And so they're listening to this podcast right now on Stitcher directly from their car. | ||
| And their car picks up the internet. | ||
| Right, without having to plug your phone. | ||
| Yeah, like if you have a Cadillac Escalade, one of those new ones, it comes with a built-in internet connection. | ||
| So you're driving around, you turn your fucking car into a Wi-Fi hub. | ||
| Yeah, sweet. | ||
| So you're driving around, like you could park and get on the Wi-Fi of your fucking truck. | ||
| And, I mean, this is just, you know, step one of a million-step process. | ||
| So we almost leave our phones at home then soon? | ||
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| No. | ||
| Jamie's fighting for it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're going to have that chip in your head just like in that Black Mirror show. | ||
| Black Mirror. | ||
| That's what's going to happen. | ||
| It's amazing how close that Black Mirror episode was to all these different versions of recording your memory that we had come up with. | ||
| Oh, that's so funny. | ||
| It's gonna happen. | ||
| It's so funny you said that because that's definitely what I thought. | ||
| I thought every single episode was like, they're listening to JRE. No, no, no, no. | ||
| I think way more likely is that those subjects are being repeated by a bunch of curious people all over the world. | ||
| Like the ability to record memory, everybody knows that's coming. | ||
| And their take on it was really pretty unique. | ||
| But like all the different... | ||
| All the different possibilities that we've ever discussed on this podcast, there's a lot of other people talking about them. | ||
| It's not just us. | ||
| There's a million different people speculating as to where the fuck is this all going? | ||
| And virtual reality in particular, there's not a single person that could say, I'm the only one who's predicted the future of virtual reality. | ||
| If you were talking about virtual reality, for sure you got it from me. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| There's millions of people that have had pretty profound thoughts about the potential for virtual reality. | ||
| No, it's just that if you watch the whole season, it seems like every episode is a different thing that you've talked about. | ||
| Remember when we said a long time ago how I thought likes are going to be currency and stuff like that in the future? | ||
| They have a whole episode about that. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| But other people have thought that too, man. | ||
| I was talking about a Yelp review for people a long fucking time ago about people having floating stars above their head. | ||
| When you walk into them, you go, oh, this guy's got four stars. | ||
| Must be a cool dude. | ||
| Like, oh, he bought his fucking stars. | ||
| You find out people are buying their stars. | ||
| Like, if you find out, if you go to a Yelp review, and it's like a Vietnam restaurant, and all the fucking reviews are in broken English, Best noodle ever have! | ||
| You know from me, this is my place! | ||
| Exclamation point, exclamation point. | ||
| And the same, like, the same, like, shitty broken English in every review, you'd be like, I think these motherfuckers are writing their own reviews. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But have you ever gone to, like, a Yelp review, or any kind of a review for something, and you know the people probably bought those reviews? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| You get grossed out, right? | ||
| Yeah, they have no other review. | ||
| No other reviews except that. | ||
| That's like people that if you go to their Instagram page, they got a million followers. | ||
| And like last week, they had 300,000 or 30,000. | ||
| Like what happened? | ||
| Were you involved in a national scandal or... | ||
| No, you could buy Instagram followers easily and Twitter followers. | ||
| Instagram's a big one though, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know a lot of Instagram girls who bought followers. | ||
| They're public about it though. | ||
| They're like, yeah, it's just so I can get... | ||
| The sports commentator got caught leaving a comment on his own page as his own name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He forgot to log out of the account. | |
| I'll raise you that. | ||
| I'll raise you that. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Funny. | ||
| Skip Bayless forgot to switch accounts praising himself on a Facebook live stream. | ||
| It may not have actually been him. | ||
| Yes, it was! | ||
| No, no, I mean, it could have been someone working for him. | ||
| No, he doesn't have anybody working for him. | ||
| It's him. | ||
| Like his wife or something. | ||
| No, it's him. | ||
| You are the man! | ||
| Exclamation point, exclamation point. | ||
| This is so fucked to get caught doing that, too. | ||
| Love the new show on FS1! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Then did he try to delete it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Should have. | |
| I would have imagined he got. | ||
| Should have like fell down, hit his head. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I hope this is a joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| It's a comedian reviewing himself at the Ice House Comedy Club on the Facebook. | ||
| Like if you go to Ice House. | ||
| He fucked up? | ||
| Yeah, like it's under his account. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't see it. | |
| I saw so and so there. | ||
| Privileged seeing him. | ||
| So funny. | ||
| Bought merch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| Is it someone you know? | ||
| He always starts a great party. | ||
| Do you know him? | ||
| Yeah, we all know. | ||
| Oh, the party starter? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| But he's not the only one. | ||
| Shut it down. | ||
| He's not the only one. | ||
| There's a lot of comedians. | ||
| So I don't know if that's like... | ||
| A joke? | ||
| Well, some people don't understand retweets and the copy and paste stuff and they forget to put an RT in front of it. | ||
| But even so... | ||
| Yeah, people have been busted before they get like a publicist. | ||
| They'll send out a big message to like 20 celebrities and they'll just copy and paste the whole thing and forgot to change the two things they're supposed to change to make it seem original. | ||
| Yeah, well, there's definitely that. | ||
| Definitely people have done that. | ||
| And there's also the limitations of 140 characters, so sometimes maybe you won't attribute it to somebody. | ||
| Somebody else said it. | ||
| You fuck up, and then you go, what did I just do? | ||
| I don't know who that guy is. | ||
| Is he a big-time guy? | ||
| That guy, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Skip Bayless. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he's from First Take. | ||
| He used to be on ESPN. Now he's on Fox Sports. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Just talk shit. | ||
| That guy had a really weird fucking take on Ronda Rousey in the last FS1 thing. | ||
| The last Fox thing. | ||
| And I remember watching that going, this guy should shut the fuck up. | ||
| He's trying to say anything he can to get attention on a day-to-day basis. | ||
| Not really that he should shut the fuck up. | ||
| He should talk if he wants to. | ||
| But I felt like he didn't know what he was talking about. | ||
| I felt it come through. | ||
| I was listening to him talk about it. | ||
| And he kind of made a kind of good point about... | ||
| I think he was talking about her taking the time off and all this stuff. | ||
| I don't think he knows the sport that well. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| I might be wrong, but it just didn't. | ||
| It seemed to me like one of those clear examples of the mainstream adopting a take on something that they don't follow all that closely. | ||
| A lot of people love to be right about fighting. | ||
| That's a big one, man. | ||
| They love to be right about who's gonna win, who's gonna lose. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I hardly ever give predictions. | ||
| So you don't know shit. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck's gonna happen. | ||
| You can tell me you think you know what's gonna happen, but until those people go in there and fucking throw punches at each other, anything can happen. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Come on, Mayweather. | ||
| That's highly unlikely to happen. | ||
| But if it did happen, if they just boxed, probably like the biggest boxing match of all time. | ||
| See what Nate said? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He wants 20 million or he's not talking or something like that. | ||
| He might have been high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He might have been high as fuck when he said that. | |
| He's so great, dude. | ||
| I've been hanging out with that dude. | ||
| He's been coming to the comedy store on a regular basis now. | ||
| I've been hanging out with him late night. | ||
| Yeah, I was hanging out with him and Nick the other night. | ||
| Nick's great. | ||
| Funny dudes. | ||
| You would never know they could beat the fuck out of you. | ||
| You'd just meet them. | ||
| You'd think they're so friendly. | ||
| They're just normal dudes. | ||
| It's a fucking brutal sport, man. | ||
| He deserves 20 million bucks. | ||
| They all do. | ||
| You just did Tony's podcast, too. | ||
| Yeah, I heard. | ||
| I heard it was really good. | ||
| I just think it's weird, man, when people who start chiming in about the sport, they do it like they talk about other sports. | ||
| To me, it seems so much more personal. | ||
| Like, fuck, man. | ||
| I've been following it forever, and I barely have the confidence to say what I think is going to happen when people fight. | ||
| So when I see people just jump in and have an opinion of it, it's like, man, I guess... | ||
| Yeah, go ahead, man. | ||
| They're trying to get all controversial about stuff. | ||
| I played basketball in high school, but I still, like, I watched it for my whole life, and I hear someone say something stupid, like at the gym, just about, like, LeBron or the Warriors. | ||
| I'm like, shut up. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here, you morons. | ||
| You don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| You don't play basketball. | ||
| Well it's also, here's another thing. | ||
| One of the things about MMA is that the sport is as, I mean I hate that fucking cliche but I gotta use it, as real as it gets. | ||
| It doesn't get any more real in terms of like raw emotion and consequence. | ||
| So, as a show, when you're watching it on television, I don't know if you're getting 100% of that. | ||
| If you're there, I think you get more of it. | ||
| But what it is, it's so raw and so real that if someone's not real and they're talking about it, it becomes real obvious. | ||
| Like, if you don't really care... | ||
| Like, if you're talking about a fight and you're getting all jazzed up about it... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You dig that. | |
| If you're... | ||
| If you're talking about a fight and you get jazzed, if you actually are jazzed up about it, people can feel that. | ||
| But if you're faking it, they feel that too, man. | ||
| And in this sport, because this sport is so intensely real, it's so intensely raw and naked, that people are way, way less tolerant to bullshit. | ||
| Or things they disagree with. | ||
| There's a lot riding on every aspect of fighting. | ||
| Did you see the Bernard Hopkins fight? | ||
| Sad, right? | ||
| That was sad. | ||
| Bernard Hopkins at 51 years old fought this kid named Joe Smith Jr., If nobody's seen Joe Smith Jr. before, he's a killer. | ||
| Bernard Hopkins picked a killer, and this kid fucked him up. | ||
| This kid has extra long arms. | ||
| He's got weird arms. | ||
| His arms go below his waist. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| I was watching him fight. | ||
| I was like, look at the length of his fucking arms. | ||
| He beat the shit out of Bernard, and he knocked him out of the ring. | ||
| Bernard caught him with some good shots. | ||
| He was timing them, and he caught them with a few right hands, but the kid was just eating them and moving forward. | ||
| You know what it looks like? | ||
| It's like when people have fake hands, like the fake hands sticking through the shirt sleeve. | ||
| Yeah, he almost looked like a cartoon guy with his extra long arms, but he's a bad motherfucker, that guy. | ||
| And Bernard got knocked through the ropes and fell on his head. | ||
| It was crazy to watch. | ||
| And he got up, he was all disoriented, didn't know what happened, thought he was pushed through the ropes, but he was punched through the ropes. | ||
| That guy connected with like four or five big shots. | ||
| And the last one was a left hook on the face as Bernard was going through the ropes. | ||
| And it knocked him all the way through. | ||
| But it was 100% legal. | ||
| He didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| He did everything with punches. | ||
| None of it was a push. | ||
| He was just bombing on them. | ||
| And it just was a freak incident. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why cages are so much better than a ring. | ||
| A cage is so superior. | ||
| Like a ring is like, that possibility that you could fall through like that, that's terrible. | ||
| They should stop using rings. | ||
| And if they do use rings, they should pad the shit out of the outside area. | ||
| The fact that someone like Bernard Hopkins, who's been boxing forever, can still get knocked through a rope like that and land on his head, that that's a possibility. | ||
| That's a stupid way of containing people. | ||
| They should have, instead of ropes like that, what they should have is something that has a crisscross pattern where you can't go through it. | ||
| And you should have to just climb over it to get in it. | ||
| It should be real simple. | ||
| And there should be a way that they could release the ropes. | ||
| Like if there was a medical emergency at the end of the fight, it should be like a latch they could pull and drop the ropes down and get somebody out. | ||
| But the ropes, the way they use them now in boxing matches, they should fucking outlaw those. | ||
| The fact that Bernard Hopkins can get knocked through one like that, that's crazy. | ||
| Or at the very least, you've got to protect the outside area. | ||
| You've got to pad the shit out of it. | ||
| And you should have people around. | ||
| And most of the time... | ||
| A thousand fights in a row, it's probably never gonna come into play. | ||
| But the one time it does, you're responsible for that guy falling through the ropes. | ||
| That's fucking stupid. | ||
| Like, look at him. | ||
| He goes flying through, man. | ||
| Look at the length on that kid's arms. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| It looks photoshopped, like his head's not the right size or something. | ||
| He's built for it, I'll tell you that. | ||
| He's got great genetics, works hard, tough kid, really good fighter. | ||
| Good chin line. | ||
| You like that, huh? | ||
| Yeah, he's an animal. | ||
| I was super impressed with his poise, too, in fighting a guy like Bernard Hopkins. | ||
| I mean, that guy stepped up in a big way. | ||
| And he was a two-to-one underdog leading into that fight, which is really crazy. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I could make some money on that. | ||
| Yeah, I was pretty convinced that Bernard was going to be able to stifle him and turn it into the kind of fight that Bernard likes, but I wasn't sure if Bernard could win. | ||
| You know, it's a long time off. | ||
| Two years when you're 51 years old, it's a long time off. | ||
| He still fought amazing. | ||
| But at the end of the day, that kid murked him. | ||
| He was just too much. | ||
| And he's a guy that would have been a real threat at any time in anyone's career. | ||
| This kid has real talent. | ||
| And right now, he's not thought of as being the best fighter in the world or anything even closely like that. | ||
| But Bernard was at one point in time. | ||
| Bernard, when he beat Felix Trinidad, a lot of people were saying... | ||
| That might be the best pound-for-pound boxer on earth. | ||
| Like, a lot of people thought Trinidad was gonna beat him. | ||
| He fucked Trinidad up. | ||
| And then he fought Kelly Pavlik. | ||
| And a lot of people wrote him off against Kelly Pavlik. | ||
| He boxed the shit out of Kelly Pavlik. | ||
| And so you look at, like, Bernard's legacy, and you go, man, this is an unbelievably skillful guy. | ||
| But at any point in that career, that Joe Kelly kid would have been a handful. | ||
| He's just scary. | ||
| Or Joe Smith, rather. | ||
| That Joe Smith Jr. kid would have been a handful. | ||
| Because he's just fucking scary. | ||
| He hits hard, and he's super accurate, and he's got awesome endurance and a great work ethic. | ||
| He's fucking dangerous, no matter what era it is. | ||
| And Bernard, you know, maybe Bernard would have been able to beat him in his prime, you know? | ||
| It's totally possible. | ||
| It's 100% likely. | ||
| I mean, Bernard's an all-time great. | ||
| Maybe he would have been able to land more of the punches that he landed in that fight. | ||
| But you don't know. | ||
| I mean, that kid's dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boxing is such a crazy sport. | |
| It's weird that we all know now that it's so bad for you. | ||
| It's so bad for your brain. | ||
| The practice of it, the doing it, we know it's terrible for you, but we still watch. | ||
| Just like football. | ||
| Just like MMA. We know. | ||
| I think this is going to make training smarter because I don't think the fighting is going to ever end. | ||
| Because we like it so much. | ||
| Some people don't train smarter though. | ||
| You can train any way you want. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Nobody knows who's right. | ||
| Like, Eddie Alvarez sparred like a hundred rounds in preparation for his fight against Rafael Dos Anjos. | ||
| He sparred like a shitload and came out looking like a monster. | ||
| Just stormed Dos Anjos, knocked him out in the first round. | ||
| But then Conor, you know, Conor doesn't spar that much. | ||
| He doesn't spar like that, like the way Alvarez was doing it. | ||
| And some guys aren't, like Donald Cerrone's not sparring at all. | ||
| Donald Cerrone's just doing drills, and he looks better than ever. | ||
| I mean, he just fucking head-kicked Matt Brown. | ||
| No one's ever knocked out Matt Brown like that. | ||
| I mean, people have stopped him. | ||
| You know, Jake Ellenberger's the only one that ever stopped him, and he stopped him with a shot to the body. | ||
| I don't think anybody else before that has stopped him with body shots. | ||
| They've heard him. | ||
| But this was like a beating. | ||
| You know, and Donald head-kicked him unconscious. | ||
| I mean, that's like his... | ||
| Final, a victory as it gets. | ||
| And he's not even sparring. | ||
| He says he feels way better now. | ||
| He's like a veteran as it comes, like a new guy coming in. | ||
| That doesn't sound like he shouldn't be sparring. | ||
| He should probably be sparring a little bit. | ||
| The whole key is to get somebody who spars with you that's not trying to hurt you, but is just trying to grow with you and learn. | ||
| That's so hard because egos get involved. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boy George would never hurt you. | |
| What? | ||
| Boy, George would never hurt you. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The song. | ||
| Alright, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Where else are we going to go? | ||
| I didn't know we were that deep. | ||
| Well, it's 4.30. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I have to drive to Brea. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's going to suck. | ||
| Well, this is the only time you can drive, right? | ||
| Like, you have a 7 o'clock show. | ||
| You literally have to leave now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going straight there. | |
| Do you know what you should take? | ||
| You should take the 210. Go up to the 118. You can go down to Topanga. | ||
| Take Topanga to the 118. Take the 118 to the 210. It'll take you more miles, but then you drop down instead of going through the shit. | ||
| If you go through that 405 this time of the day... | ||
| I wouldn't do that. | ||
| Or the 5. Either one of those can suck a fat one. | ||
| The 5 is ridiculous. | ||
| The 5 is always under construction. | ||
| Isn't it funny how people in LA talk like this, though, about highways? | ||
| It doesn't happen like that in Ohio. | ||
| Well, they don't have as many people. | ||
| We've fucked up. | ||
| This is a great spot. | ||
| Too many people found out, and they all just moved here. | ||
| There's way too many people here. | ||
| I kind of looked this up one day, too. | ||
| The freeways here, they weren't always called numbers. | ||
| This was like the Ventura Freeway and the Hollywood Highway and shit like that. | ||
| Eventually, they changed the names, and people just dropped what they used to call them. | ||
| And just call it the 101, the 405, the 118. That's only out here, you know. | ||
| Yeah, no, because there's not that many different freeways in other places, really, either. | ||
| But even if you go somewhere, like in Massachusetts, you'd say you get on 405 South. | ||
| You know, you wouldn't say the 405. That's what I mean by the was only added because they didn't refer to the freeways here as numbers. | ||
| The 101 was only the Ventura Freeway or the Ventura Highway or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| Well, that was the case in Boston with the mass turnpike. | ||
| Like, the mass turnpike was called the mass turnpike, but it also had a number. | ||
| Like, you look on a map, it would be the number and then the mass turnpike. | ||
| Like, what is this thing? | ||
| It's like it's got a royal distinction. | ||
| The mass turnpike. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Is this Route 90? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Yeah, yes, yes. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Out here, there's a the. | ||
| On the East Coast, there's no the before it. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what's going on. | ||
| The National Road went through Columbus. | ||
| It comes out to here, too. | ||
| Route 40. There's a road that goes from Columbus right to here? | ||
| It goes from Washington, D.C., actually, to San Francisco. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| How long does it take to drive that bitch? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it the one that runs next to the 66? | ||
| Because when I moved out here, yeah, there was like a dirt road that was like a road. | ||
| Route 66? | ||
| It goes right along like 70 for a long time, and then it switches down to like 10. Isn't that that song, Get Your Kicks, on Route 66? | ||
| Have you ever driven across the country? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've driven from Ohio twice. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 33 hours straight through. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Straight through? | ||
| Yeah, we didn't stop. | ||
| Are you a serial killer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| What were you on? | ||
| Who's meth? | ||
| Who had the meth? | ||
| Two of us just switching off every eight hours. | ||
| You go to sleep? | ||
| Yeah, just sleep while the other guy drives. | ||
| I wouldn't trust that dude to stay awake. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| Made it. | ||
| Oh, he barely made it. | ||
| Probably skated in. | ||
| No, thank you. | ||
| One time we had a Jeep in the back of the U-Haul, too. | ||
| Which was probably super illegal. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's totally illegal. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did not. | |
| You drove it into the U-Haul and parked it in there? | ||
| Oh, that's so stupid. | ||
| Did you tie it down or anything? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, they do have those car transport trucks that are like that. | ||
| We weren't doing that, though. | ||
| You weren't doing that. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't know what you were doing. | ||
| Yeah, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, probably totally illegal. | ||
| And then you packed it all with shit and the Jeep, so that if the Jeep came bouncing out, all your shit would go flying out with it. | ||
| For a little bit, the people that packed it happened to help. | ||
| They were in a tow company, so they kind of knew how to make a car stable. | ||
| It still could have fucking fucked up. | ||
| I wonder if it's legal. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| You take a sharp turn. | ||
| Jamie Vernon, criminal. | ||
| Statue of Limitations hopefully is allegedly... | ||
| I allegedly did all that. | ||
| These are a lot of the things that we say, folks. | ||
| It's just jokes. | ||
| It's all jokes. | ||
| It's humor. | ||
| So you work with George Perez tonight? | ||
| George Perez, Dean Del Rey. | ||
| Oh, powerful. | ||
| Yeah, the Brea Improv. | ||
| George's a funny motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a wild dude, man. | ||
| His stories about prison were hilarious. | ||
| He came in on the podcast and hit me with all his crazy stories. | ||
| He's great to hang out with. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| And we're going to San Jose, the 30th, also at the Improv, have two shows. | ||
| Oh, nice, nice. | ||
| And the 30th this weekend is a Friday, right? | ||
| Is that the 30th? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Or next week is a Friday. | ||
| That's the Ronda Rousey fights on Friday. | ||
| Because the 31st is New Year's Eve. | ||
| Nobody wants to compete with New Year's Eve. | ||
| New Year's Eve is time to make shitty decisions and get fucked up. | ||
| I'll be playing the Ronda Rousey fight at the show illegally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you doing that? | |
| No. | ||
| How do you even say that? | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Yeah, people are going to go to see that anyway. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fucked. | ||
| Well, the beautiful thing about DVRs, man, you could go to both. | ||
| You could just record the fight, don't listen to anybody, just go, la, la, la, spoiler alert, and then just run around. | ||
| I hate spoiler alert. | ||
| I freaked out when Westworld had the season finale. | ||
| I had to force myself, even though I was so tired, just to watch it. | ||
| I didn't want to spoil it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got away with it. | ||
| I got away with it for like a week and a half, two weeks. | ||
| Nobody told me shit. | ||
| I ducked it. | ||
| Ducked it. | ||
| Slid right in there. | ||
| Yeah, man, but... | ||
| Like, people get mad at it, but here's the deal. | ||
| There's so much to talk about today that if we didn't talk about certain television shows and certain movies because of spoiler alerts... | ||
| Like, listen, bitch. | ||
| You gotta take your chances. | ||
| If you want things to be secret, you gotta stay offline. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| If it means something to you, stay offline. | ||
| Otherwise, people are gonna talk about it. | ||
| Don't get mad at people for using information. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Amen, sister. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or just deal with the fact that if you dip your fucking nose into the information highway, you're gonna get some information up there. | ||
| Maybe that you don't want. | ||
| I can't believe Westworld and Lost is in the same universe. | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| You just made that up. | ||
| But it is sort of. | ||
| It's the same guy, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bad robot! | |
| It still could be the same world. | ||
| We never know. | ||
| But, I mean, isn't it the same guy? | ||
| J.J. Abrams, yeah. | ||
| He didn't make it all by himself. | ||
| Who made Stranger Things? | ||
| A different group. | ||
| Some brothers, right? | ||
| The Grimm Brothers or something like that? | ||
| They have a weird thing where they call themselves a fucking great show. | ||
| You shut your mouth, boy. | ||
| I tried three times. | ||
| Yeah, well, go to the doctor and find out what kind of tumor you have in your head. | ||
| It's causing you to like stuff that sucks. | ||
| Sober or stoned? | ||
| Sober or stoned? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| The Duffer Brothers. | ||
| The Duffer Brothers. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I love that show. | ||
| I understand you don't, Brian. | ||
| It just seems cheesy. | ||
| It seems like Gilmore Boys. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Loved it. | ||
| Jamie, did you love it? | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| There's a new one called The O.V. or something like that. | ||
| I'm going to watch that probably. | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Is it science fiction-y? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It looks like it, right? | ||
| Like she was blind and she came back and she could see and she disappeared. | ||
| Sort of like not knowing what something's about and then just watching it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it sucks, it sucks. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| You wasted your time. | ||
| But if you find something cool, it's the coolest way to find something. | ||
| I'm really getting into House of Cards. | ||
| That's a great show. | ||
| Goddamn, that's a good show. | ||
| I wonder how much of that is actually how things go. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It seems like it, right? | ||
| I think that's why everybody thinks they know so much right now about what's going on. | ||
| Because of House of Cards? | ||
| Yeah, I feel like that. | ||
| Well, there's never been a show like that before that shows you the inner workings, like with swears and sex and all the craziness. | ||
| Like, good fucking show. | ||
| I didn't watch West Wing when it was out, but I don't imagine it was as close to reality as House of Cards seems. | ||
| A gay guy being straight... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Gay guy acting straight. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Brian, I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| You're saying that's how it really, you think that's how it really goes, and you know. | ||
| You mean Kevin Spacey, is that what you're trying to say? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| What do you want, Brian? | ||
| You want a gold star? | ||
| I'm going to tickle you. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| I'm going to tickle you. | ||
| I got to pee. | ||
| I wonder if anybody has been. | ||
| Go ahead and pee, man. | ||
| That's alright. | ||
| I'll wrap it up. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| We'll wrap it up now. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| The end. | ||
| Alright, thanks everybody. | ||
| We will see you soon. | ||
| Happy seven years. | ||
| Happy seven years. | ||
| Happy Christmas. | ||
| Happy Hanukkah. | ||
| Happy Kwanzaa. | ||
| Happy powerful young Jamie. | ||
| It's a new holiday. | ||
| See ya! |
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