Dec. 2, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:49:10
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Two. | |
| Uno. | ||
| Ya. | ||
| Vamos! | ||
| See? | ||
| We're live. | ||
| That's all I know in Spanish. | ||
| Don't expect more. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, Lee Camp! | ||
| This is what I want to do, buddy. | ||
| Lee Kamp, Alex Jones, Cenk Uygur, and me, let's go drinking! | ||
| We can all be friends! | ||
| Could we? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| We're gonna pass them out a joint, we're gonna agree to be friendly, we'll all just go to dinner somewhere, have a good old time, throw back some beers, I think we would all get along famously. | ||
| I know nothing about Alex Jones off the mic, I can't even imagine what goes on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's great. | |
| I love him. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I don't care what anybody says about him being crazy. | ||
| Alex Jones is my friend and I love that guy. | ||
| He's a big, sweet teddy bear. | ||
| He's a super nice guy. | ||
| Does he get humor at all? | ||
| Oh yeah! | ||
| He comes to comedy shows all the time. | ||
| He's a fucking big comedy fan. | ||
| Because I saw Doug Stanhope on. | ||
| Doug's friends with him too. | ||
| And I saw Doug on with him once. | ||
| And it just seemed like Doug was being hilarious. | ||
| It just seemed like he didn't get it. | ||
| He didn't know what was happening. | ||
| Have you ever seen him with Joey Diaz? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's one of the funniest moments in the history of radio. | ||
| They're like bizarro versions of each other. | ||
| He told Joey Diaz that it was on the internet. | ||
| That's where he fucked up. | ||
| Because there was one part that we were doing. | ||
| We were in Austin, and we were in studio. | ||
| And one part we were doing was on the radio radio. | ||
| So on the radio radio, he can't swear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, well, this next part's going to be on the internet, but you can swear. | |
| I mean, you shouldn't swear. | ||
| Definitely you shouldn't swear, but if you do, it's no big deal. | ||
| No one's going to go to jail. | ||
| So... | ||
| All of a sudden, Joey Diaz realizes the floodgates are open. | ||
| So he just... | ||
| I mean, Joey's the funniest guy. | ||
| If he's not the funniest guy that's ever lived, he's in the top two or three. | ||
| Joey is amazing. | ||
| And he just goes off. | ||
| And I'm just sitting there red-faced and crying and laughing. | ||
| I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. | ||
| And Alex didn't know what to do with it. | ||
| He didn't know what to do with it. | ||
| He was trying to juggle it. | ||
| You want to play it, Jamie? | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Oh, you have it? | ||
| this part of it yeah please please i don't know look at the movie he was dancing and singing and next you know he's dying oxygen no not not right a junkie's a junkie's a junkie's a junkie every day he doesn't wake up singing dance and then he has oxygen tanks at night something's not right he's talking about michael jackson in my case like old school You're worth more dead than what you are alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You understand me? | |
| And now they got a new record coming out. | ||
| He ain't in debt no more. | ||
| He's doing a tour next year with the people from Vegas that jump up and down the Blue Band Group, whatever the hell that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, he's worth more now than he's ever been. | |
| I think Paul McCartney killed Michael Jackson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If it was up to me, me knowing what I know, I'd smoke another joint. | |
| I'll break it down. | ||
| I'll break it down because he bought the music from Paul McCartney. | ||
| They didn't want to give it back to him. | ||
| And all of a sudden, they put Paul McCartney in the Super Bowl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They tried to build up the Beatles. | |
| By the way, we're so high right now. | ||
| So high. | ||
| Like, we got barbecue before this thing. | ||
| Obama and the elite, it's a strategy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep going! | |
| I don't know what to say. | ||
| I would do you, but we're so high right now. | ||
| I mean, we really should never be on the air. | ||
| So most of this is on the regular radio until Joey finds out that the radio... | ||
| See if you can find where he goes off. | ||
| Because he only goes off for like five minutes. | ||
| But he's screaming and yelling about going through the TSA with a bag of weed under his balls. | ||
| And Alex just tried to bring it back to Hillary Clinton and the elites. | ||
| I would never want to try and compete with Joey Diaz on anything. | ||
| We just gotta let him go. | ||
| But I'm telling you, Joey loves Alex, too. | ||
| Joey and Alex, they went to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
This weed stinking. | |
| You're like Rodney Dancer. | ||
| This is fucking Rodney. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had this weed that was stinking up a storm, not to mention my balls. | |
| I'm sweating now. | ||
| Because I'm going to go to jail tonight. | ||
| And all of a sudden the guy goes, "He's clear." And he shook my hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm like, "My taxpayers are hard at work. | |
| I'm smoking weed." You listen to your politician who's talking to you like a Christian. | ||
| He's lying. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Oh, this is someone else's edit, obviously, because that's where he goes, "Can't take a Joe, take a taxi." What does he yell out? | ||
| Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health. | ||
| Stay black. | ||
| And then he leaves the studio. | ||
| He just leaves? | ||
| He goes, stay black. | ||
| That's the most important thing. | ||
| I mean, he knows when to exit the room. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, hey, go fuck yourself, you cop. | |
| Hold on, hold on one second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Take a joke, take a shuttle. | |
| Joey Diaz, Facebook, Twitter, check yourself before you wreck yourself. | ||
| Big dicks in your ass are bad for your health. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| You're in trouble. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I'm the umpire. | ||
| just, I'm throwing, alright, alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, stay black, because that's the most important. | |
| Okay, okay. | ||
| Hey, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, yo, this show's over. | |
| That's the only way to deal with Alex Jones. | ||
| But I'm telling you, Alex is a good guy. | ||
| He's a nice guy. | ||
| He's just balls deep in that world. | ||
| He's balls deep in the, you gotta get dried food. | ||
| You need gold, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I don't know if he believes half of the shit he's saying. | ||
| I think he just knows he gets hits. | ||
| We've got hypnotic brain pills that the CIA found in a vat in the basement. | ||
| Charlton Heston uncovered this years ago and was silenced for it. | ||
| The brain pills. | ||
| You gotta get silver in your veins. | ||
| They drink that silver water. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine who used to do that. | ||
| He used to have a rod that you would electrify. | ||
| It would have wires on it, and you would dip it in water. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| And he's like, you're making some sort of a silver drink, and if you have a cold, you drink that, and you're fine. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Yeah, if you spend your whole hour telling people that they need to fear for their lives and then go, buy the survival garden! | ||
| It's like, yeah, you just told us we need the survival garden. | ||
| You set it up. | ||
| You sell some good fucking survival food, though, if you want some solid survival food. | ||
| Jesus Christ, there was a video that Duncan sent me yesterday. | ||
| This dude put together of Jim Baker. | ||
| Do you know Jim Baker's back? | ||
| And when Trump won, I mean, they were like, it was like Jesus came home. | ||
| You gotta put, watch this video, because I put it, see how much of it we can watch. | ||
| How much of it can we watch without getting kicked off? | ||
| We just put a little bit of it in the background. | ||
| But it's the actual Jim Baker show. | ||
| Jim Baker has an actual show now. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| And he sells food. | ||
| He sells dried food, like survival food. | ||
| They're advertising it as furniture. | ||
| You stack it around your dinner table. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And then you put your table on it. | ||
| Dude, if I walked in and I saw somebody had that furniture... | ||
| Dude, run for your lives. | ||
| He has a whole set up on the stage. | ||
| He has a whole set up on the stage. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Pretty sure we can't play this. | ||
| Okay, is this the one that was on my Twitter feed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Who put this together? | ||
| What is the guy's name? | ||
| Super Deluxe? | ||
| What's that number? | ||
| Yeah, on Twitter. | ||
| Super Deluxe. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Just Super Deluxe? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're on YouTube, I'm sorry. | ||
| Oh, YouTube. | ||
| Super Deluxe. | ||
| Whoever you are, you masked man. | ||
| This is goddamn genius. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way! | |
| Look at this! | ||
| Look at the table! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got all the fucking survival food! | |
| Stop Christian genocide! | ||
|
unidentified
|
90 days! | |
| I love that, because that was the number one problem with survival food, is what do you do with it all? | ||
| So you've got to make it furniture. | ||
| He's trying to furniture in people's houses. | ||
| I mean, he's doing all this shit with a straight face. | ||
| This guy's a maniac. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And he's making cash. | ||
| I almost want to like, I would almost like to get that guy high and get him on a podcast. | ||
| How bizarre would it be? | ||
| You'd end up wearing a little hat like that baby. | ||
| Like if you could just talk him into going camping with you and slip him a couple of edibles. | ||
| Dude, it would wake all these people. | ||
| What would Alex Jones be like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'd be great. | |
| Joe, you're right. | ||
| I gotta settle down. | ||
| I gotta relax. | ||
| The elites have just got me so fucking riled up, I just want to start... | ||
| Did you see Eric Andre when he kind of crashed Alex Jones' things at the RNC? I heard about it and I didn't see it. | ||
| I just ran into him at the airport. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| Yeah, he's hilarious. | ||
| Alex Jones thinks he's with The Daily Show. | ||
| So Eric Andre's in the crowd and he's like, let's get The Daily Show up here! | ||
| Bring him up here! | ||
| Bring him up here! | ||
| Daily Show guy, come up here! | ||
| Come up here! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he goes, this guy is a Pentagon shill for The Daily Show! | |
| And Eric Andre's like, I'm not with The Daily Show! | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| He's like, I got my own show, bitch. | ||
| And then he goes, I want to sleep with your wife, Alex. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And Alex Jones is like, what are you talking about? | ||
| He's like, no, I really, I want to sleep with your wife. | ||
| Or, no, I want you to sleep with my wife. | ||
| I'll give you the room key if you sleep with my wife. | ||
| And Alex Jones is like, I don't know what's going on! | ||
| He's susceptible to manipulation. | ||
| I'll say that. | ||
| He can be trolled. | ||
| He's a good dude, though. | ||
| I swear to God, he is. | ||
| I've known Alex forever. | ||
| I've known him since 99. Really? | ||
| Yeah, we did a video together a long time ago with me and him, dressed up like George Bush, running around the Capitol, and we went to the bathroom and smoked bongs. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah, it was hilarious, because I offered him a hit of the bong, and he goes, I don't do that shit. | ||
| It makes me paranoid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that makes him paranoid. | |
| It was an inside joke, but it was fun. | ||
| Did he have the same schtick then? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He was doing that long before I met him. | ||
| Long before I met him, Herbert Walker Bush would be somewhere, and he would meet there and call him a war criminal and yell out and get arrested. | ||
| Actually, it was like GW when he was running for president, I think, Alex got arrested. | ||
| He got arrested a gang of times, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| The thing is, Alex had some... | ||
| He was right about a lot of shit. | ||
| And this is where it gets... | ||
| HW being a war criminal is fine. | ||
| He was right about the NSA stuff. | ||
| He was saying from a long time ago. | ||
| I mean, years before the Edward Snowden shit came out. | ||
| He was like, I guarantee you there is a place right now where they are dumping all of your information. | ||
| They can collect data. | ||
| They have the capability. | ||
| I was like, come on, man. | ||
| Who's copying all the emails? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Could you imagine 15 years ago you said, they're watching everything, they know your emails. | ||
| Anyone said that, you were like, alright, let's get the fuck away from this guy. | ||
| Now, everyone's like, oh yeah, sure they are. | ||
| Like, how quickly things changed? | ||
| So quick. | ||
| So quick. | ||
| It's like, you just assume. | ||
| You know how much NSA... You know how much NSA and privacy were mentioned in the three presidential debates, one vice presidential debate? | ||
| Zero! | ||
| It never came up! | ||
| This is the largest surveillance infrastructure ever created, not mentioned, in the presidential debates. | ||
| Never discussed. | ||
| Fucking insane, right? | ||
| That's like, that's almost like the agreement. | ||
| Like, you guys can talk shit about each other all you want. | ||
| Start talking about the NSA, we're gonna have a real fucking problem. | ||
| I mean, that's the number one way that they, honestly, like mainstream media and all this shit lies to us. | ||
| It's just ignoring stuff. | ||
| It's not usually flat out lies. | ||
| It's just, we're not gonna talk about it. | ||
| I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| There was a really impressive moment where I was like, I was really impressed with Obama as a person. | ||
| Where he was at this, they were doing this campaign speech, and this guy, a Trump supporter, was in the crowd, and this guy was throwing a flag up in the air, or this Trump flag, and was waving, and he was an older guy, and he had some sort of military outfit on. | ||
| And he's yelling out, you know, Trump, and he's got his sign-up. | ||
| And all these people are booing, and Obama stops them. | ||
| And he goes, first of all, he goes, this is a gentleman, he's an older gentleman, we should respect our elders, so let's think about that. | ||
| And he goes, and it looks like he's done some military service, he's got a military, so we should respect our veterans. | ||
| And then he got to this and he goes, don't boo, vote. | ||
| Don't boo, vote. | ||
| And he goes, we respect freedom of speech. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, don't boo this man. | ||
| Yeah, I like that, but the whole respect the veterans thing when you don't fucking fund their medical care when they get home, we treat them like shit, and then they go, oh, respect them, though. | ||
| Look, you're totally right. | ||
| You're totally right. | ||
| That drives me nuts. | ||
| More in a leadership role or as a, like, respect someone for, like, the way to handle a delicate situation like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I agree with that. | ||
| I mean, ultimately, you do have to be concerned. | ||
| We've been talking about this with the whole Trump thing. | ||
| You don't have to be concerned as much about what Trump's going to be able to do as you do about people that see Trump in office and they get emboldened to be assholes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Because I really think that there's some people that are on the fucking fence, the asshole fence. | ||
| They can go one way or another and they might go full asshole now. | ||
| Full asshole door is open. | ||
| It's not Trump's fault. | ||
| It's not Trump's fault, but there's a reality of being the person who's setting the tone for the way the country thinks of itself, right? | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| And here's part of the maybe, the positive of having someone like Trump in the presidency is this country, like, you know, racism, being an asshole, treating people like shit, that's been part of this country that is, as long as we didn't have a leader that you didn't think represented that, people were like, oh, okay, we'll just keep it going at this rate. | ||
| Whereas now, people, like, are Maybe we needed this ugly orange face as the face of things to really be like, hey, what is going on with the xenophobia and the racism and what is the deal? | ||
| Maybe we needed that face. | ||
| Well, it definitely highlights the fact that it's a giant issue still. | ||
| So people that don't think it's an issue because they're not seeing it in front of their face, you're forced to look at it now. | ||
| This is something that Alonzo Bowdoin said during the Young Turks coverage of the election that was so on. | ||
| He goes, not all Trump supporters are racist, but all racists are Trump supporters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He nailed it. | |
| They're not racist, but he is number one with racists. | ||
| How many racists are voting for Hillary? | ||
| She ain't getting that vote, you know? | ||
| It's funny, man. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| No, it's a great point. | ||
| It's dead on. | ||
| You gotta worry about the tone. | ||
| I mean, it sounds ridiculous to someone who's got sovereignty, someone with personal sovereignty, someone who knows who they are and isn't so easily swayed and is like, that's not gonna make me an asshole. | ||
| It probably won't make you an asshole. | ||
| But there's a guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's that guy. | ||
| There's a bunch of those guys. | ||
| There's a lot of disenfranchised men out there. | ||
| Well, and this is where I really put it on the mainstream media, is they legitimize some of this shit that Trump says, or whatever Trump supporters say, that is just crackpot nuts. | ||
| Like when CNN had the chyron that said, are Jews people? | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, you didn't hear about this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It went kind of viral. | ||
| They were saying, hey, this crazy white supremacist, or maybe someone having something to do with Trump, has in the past questioned whether Jews are people or something. | ||
| So then they run with the chyron and says, are Jews people? | ||
| It's like, well, now this is a legitimate discussion. | ||
| You just made this a legitimate discussion. | ||
| That's so preposterous. | ||
| Yeah, instead of just ignoring it, instead they're like, hey, let's have a panel to discuss. | ||
| Do Jews smell funny? | ||
| It's like, you legitimize this shit. | ||
| If Jews are people... | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's just so fucking stupid. | ||
| That sounds like if someone gave the news to people in the 1500s. | ||
| They said, listen, it's time. | ||
| This is a new technology. | ||
| Imagine if you gave it to people. | ||
| Arduous people, I'm not sure! | ||
| Death! | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's something we should discuss. | ||
| Let's sit down, talk about this. | ||
| What kind of people discuss whether or not choose a people? | ||
| What else? | ||
| Was Santa Claus real? | ||
| Is that next? | ||
| What about Rudolph? | ||
| Was he a real character? | ||
| Is that a mythical creature? | ||
| Is he an analogy? | ||
| Is he an allegory? | ||
| What is he? | ||
| They gave $5 billion of free coverage to Trump, twice as much as Hillary. | ||
| In the primaries, 23 times as much as Bernie. | ||
| And they wonder how Trump got elected. | ||
| They couldn't help themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a master at manipulating them in that regard. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Like, always saying controversial things, whether it was on purpose or not. | ||
| Well, JESUS CHRIST! Goddammit! | ||
| People could die! | ||
| Do we have any tells now? | ||
| Dude, you're the first guest to do that. | ||
| I'm the first? | ||
| I've done it a fuckload of times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| I've wrecked at least two laptops on this show live. | ||
| We're good, dude. | ||
| Oh, I just did it! | ||
| I just did it! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What a clusterfuck here, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| At least you know that this is really live. | ||
| That's a good host, is you wanted to make me feel better about mine. | ||
| I really did, and I'm just a slob. | ||
| Clumsy dork. | ||
| But we're good. | ||
| Nothing got zapped. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| The country, racist, Trump. | ||
| We're talking about Trump and media, the endless media coverage. | ||
| Yeah, he did a fucking awesome job. | ||
| Whether but you know what there's the possibility like I would like to think that we watched some genius Chess play by a master of the media which he most certainly is right. | ||
| I mean the guy's been on television forever But I really wondered do you I mean you have thoughts on who he what he genuinely believes? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Well, that was my question I was gonna say do you think that Did we watch a master manipulator or did he just get lucky that his personality like totally works right now? | ||
| You know, like that everything is lined up for you to be the guy that says, you know, you should grab chicks by the pussy and everybody goes, ah, that's locker room talk. | ||
| I think it's a little bit of both. | ||
| I think it's the perfect time for him combined with great manipulation. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| If you didn't have people struggling so hard, if you didn't have this quote-unquote recovery all going to the top 1%, people wouldn't have gotten behind this. | ||
| You needed a populace that is furious and struggling and miserable to get behind this. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| A populace that is furious and struggling and miserable wants to get behind a dude who's a billionaire who's probably fucked over a ton of people to get there. | ||
| I mean, the whole thing is like... | ||
| I mean, how much tooth, fang, and claw competition and business has that guy been involved in? | ||
| Probably a fuckload, right? | ||
| It sounds like every deal he's ever signed, he reneges on like half of it. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| Like when they were talking to him during the debates when Hillary brought up the taxes and him not paying taxes, he goes, it's because I'm smart. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He got away with it. | ||
| But you know why he gets away with it? | ||
| Because he goes, yeah, those laws shouldn't be there, but since they are, I'm not going to not use them. | ||
| Of course I'm going to use them. | ||
| He goes, but let's take them out. | ||
| Let's take those laws out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People wanted someone who just said, fuck this system, which it's hilarious that you then get behind a billionaire as the guy who's going to say, fuck the system. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But he's also a populist. | ||
| That's what's weird. | ||
| He likes to be popular. | ||
| And you have a unique opportunity with a guy like him where I don't think he's going to be as influenced by other people as we've had presidents before. | ||
| You know, we've had presidents before that get in the office and we're like, oh my god, this guy's not doing anything he said. | ||
| We don't even have to say who they are, right? | ||
| Obama. | ||
| All of them, right? | ||
| Who doesn't? | ||
| All of them, right? | ||
| But this is the first time a guy has gotten in. | ||
| The party itself doesn't even want him in there. | ||
| They were trying to force him out. | ||
| Everybody didn't want him in. | ||
| Everybody was saying, there's no way we can let this guy in. | ||
| Basically, the Republicans tried to rig their primary to beat Trump and failed. | ||
| The Democrats rigged their primary and succeeded. | ||
| That was the only difference. | ||
| Yeah, it's fascinating, isn't it? | ||
| Like, they fucked over that Bernie Sanders guy. | ||
| Oh man, on every level. | ||
| I covered this on Redacted and I like endlessly, I just couldn't get enough of it. | ||
| It was like on every, it was like voter suppression, closing polling places, you know, exit polls aren't matching up, just media manipulation, 23 times as much coverage, like I was saying, for Trump and like 10 times as much coverage for Hillary as Bernie Sanders. | ||
| It was just like on every level they tried to force through their candidate. | ||
| He would have been great. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I think Bernie would have been really interesting. | ||
| I think Bernie running against Trump would have been way less vulnerable. | ||
| He had way less skeletons in the closet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was pretty much an open book. | ||
| He also didn't... | ||
| He had immense, compared to Hillary, immense favorability numbers, whereas Hillary just had crazy unfavorability numbers. | ||
| Well, he represented character to us. | ||
| 30-40 years of saying the same stuff, whereas Hillary, from week to week, he didn't know what she stood for. | ||
| Yeah, and even the way he looks. | ||
| He represents character. | ||
| He represents this disheveled, really smart guy with his glasses and his jacket, and he's not trying to look good at all. | ||
| He doesn't have any orange makeup on. | ||
| He's really the polar opposite of Trump. | ||
| I would love a guy that cares more about getting shit done than his hair. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| Well, he also seems to care about people. | ||
| Whether you agree with him or not, I think that guy genuinely cares about people. | ||
| Hopefully I'm not getting bullshitted, you know, because he is a politician. | ||
| Here's how you know a little something, is you don't spend 30 years in government and not get rich unless you've got other goals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like everybody who's been in Congress that long is a multi-millionaire. | ||
| He's not. | ||
| Well, he's from Vermont, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, they're all hippies up there. | ||
| They're all hippies and farmers. | ||
| Vermont is weird. | ||
| I had Ben Cohen on a bunch. | ||
| Ben and Jerry, they're in Vermont, too. | ||
| Dude, it's so weird. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| It is a great place. | ||
| Burlington, that place is amazing. | ||
| I did a gig up there once. | ||
| I was like, wow, this is like a little frozen paradise up here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This little small, cool town of hippie people. | ||
| And they always go against whatever's going on around them. | ||
| How do you get a group? | ||
| It has to be a university town. | ||
| It's the only way you get a group of liberals in a mountain. | ||
| Well, I guess there's universities there too, but in some of these southern towns, it's just like they all flee to one city. | ||
| It's like Asheville, North Carolina. | ||
| They're just like, we gotta get together. | ||
| But that's the university too. | ||
| That's where Duncan went to school. | ||
| Asheville's amazing. | ||
| I love it, yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's such a great little town. | ||
| The best. | ||
| And the people are so cool. | ||
| It's like, you guys are like, if you took like... | ||
| 30,000 of the best people from Austin and brought them to North Carolina. | ||
| That's what Asheville is. | ||
| It's like, what are you guys doing here? | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| Really cool bars, and everybody walks around. | ||
| I played there like six months ago, and I told them, I was like, you guys should build a wall around this city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, right? | |
| Because it's great here. | ||
| Yeah, the area outside of it is very strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's still parts of this country that haven't recovered from the Civil War. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| That's not a joke. | ||
| No, I know, I know. | ||
| There's parts of this country where you're driving through, and you'll run into small towns. | ||
| That still have, like, the vague echoes of the Civil War. | ||
| Dude, I grew up in that. | ||
| Richmond, Virginia. | ||
| I'm named after Robert E. Lee. | ||
| Oh my god, are you really? | ||
| Yeah, my high school was the Confederate Rebels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| Mascot. | ||
| Did you guys have a rebel flag? | ||
| Rebel flag. | ||
| We had a rebel flag the first year it was there, then they finally decided that it was offensive. | ||
| So they took away the flag, but kept the rebel soldier as the mascot. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, are you drinking whiskey? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's just water. | ||
| It's water in like a flask? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| Are they trying to get crafty? | ||
| They're getting crafty. | ||
| It's Fred. | ||
| My name is Fred. | ||
| Drink my water. | ||
| It came off my breast. | ||
| What is Fred water? | ||
| That's Fred water? | ||
| That's how you advertise a drink now. | ||
| You just change the shape of the bottle. | ||
| Yeah, he made it. | ||
| He made me talk about it. | ||
| Why is his name on the front of the bottle? | ||
| Isn't that water? | ||
| Shouldn't it just say water, you fuck? | ||
| Why does it say Fred? | ||
| Fred is in giant letters and underneath it in tiny letters it says water. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's ridiculous, Fred. | ||
| But you got me. | ||
| Here I am. | ||
| I'm talking about it. | ||
| You won. | ||
| He won. | ||
| That's how I'm marketing this. | ||
| Fucking Fred won. | ||
| Were you surprised when they pulled the Confederate flag off the General Lee? | ||
| Did that freak you out? | ||
| Off the General Lee? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I had the Dukes of Hazzard bed sheets. | ||
| I think I had the poster. | ||
| They had the poster. | ||
| When they pulled that off TV land, I was like, whoa. | ||
| Dude, it is a different history. | ||
| Growing up in Richmond, Virginia, I was 12 before anyone mentioned we lost the Civil War. | ||
| I was like, wait, we didn't win? | ||
| So you knew there was a Civil War, but you didn't know that the South lost? | ||
| No, I just, yeah, because it's talked about almost like a victory, because they talk about it like, oh, the grand old times of Civil War and stuff like that. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| Yeah, and I was like, wait, we lost? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Monument Avenue in Richmond, Virginia is basically all Civil War quote-unquote heroes, meaning the losers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's crazy that that was so recent. | ||
| That 1865 was so recent. | ||
| Dude, a hundred years ago there was like slavery. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| 1916, I mean, there's probably a... | ||
| Well, there's slavery now. | ||
| It's not been that long. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| There is slavery. | ||
| That's the craziest thing. | ||
| There's not slavery now necessarily in America, but there's more slaves in the world now because there's more people in the world. | ||
| Also, there are more black people in prison right now than there were slaves during the Civil War. | ||
| We imprisoned so many people, and those people are largely, a lot of them, are forced to labor for a nickel an hour or whatever. | ||
| We have a stipulation in the Constitution that you can have slavery as long as they're in prison. | ||
| Yeah, we've been talking about that a lot. | ||
| Apparently there's a documentary about that on Netflix. | ||
| 13th. | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How is it? | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I keep hearing it. | ||
| I get real close to it and I go, God damn it, I haven't caught up on narcos. | ||
| I'd like to find out about real shit. | ||
| I got like one episode left. | ||
| I need to be entertained. | ||
| I want to watch Westworld. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| It's not looking good for Escobar. | ||
| It's not looking good, man. | ||
| I'm worried what's going to happen. | ||
| I'm worried too, but he is the star of the show, so hopefully he'll pull through. | ||
| How are you going to have another season? | ||
| It just seems like he's digging a hole for himself that he's just not going to come out of. | ||
| He should start treating people better. | ||
| I mean, you keep killing people, eventually someone's gonna kill you. | ||
| I mean, that's just what I think. | ||
| If he just said thank you a little more, please and thank you. | ||
| It is absolutely insane that you can have a minimum wage, except when you've trapped someone for a crime. | ||
| Then not only do they have to pay for that crime by being incarcerated, but then they have to work and make pennies. | ||
| Dude, it's such a game. | ||
| Another great book by Taibbi is The Divide talks about this. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Matt Taibbi's book? | ||
| Matt Taibbi. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love that guy. | |
| The cops just run around, look for mostly black people standing on the corner, sometimes in front of their own apartment, charge them for loitering or something, and then they take a plea deal because they're told, like, hey, do you want months of a trial where you could spend a year in jail, or do you want to take this plea deal and just have a tiny charge? | ||
| And so they all take the plea deal. | ||
| So now they're in the system. | ||
| And it's just railroading. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It's so crazy that people have made an industry off of... | ||
| Like, there's money to be made from keeping people locked up. | ||
| It's just the way that we've allowed that to happen, it's so shameful because it's sort of just everybody sort of woke up as adults and was like, what? | ||
| How many private prisons are there? | ||
| How many people are in jail? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| What percentage of who or what? | ||
| We're 5% of the world's population, 25% of the world's prisoners. | ||
| We have way more prisoners than any country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| And it's all like it's going on without us looking, you know? | ||
| I mean, not obviously for violent crimes, but let's just talk about the non-violent ones. | ||
| Isn't that like 50%? | ||
| Yeah, most people in prison are non-violent. | ||
| So 50% of them are locked up in jail for something non-violent. | ||
| And then what percentage of those are drugs? | ||
| I don't know, but it's a lot. | ||
| A lot of this has to do with the drug war. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| I think, like, theft and obviously all the violent crimes, but all those things, that sort of rationalizes you need some sort of punishment. | ||
| But has anybody ever even proven that prison is effective? | ||
| No, it's not at all. | ||
| Because here's the thing, it destroys most people's lives. | ||
| They can't get a job when they get out. | ||
| Their family's been broken up. | ||
| Their community's been broken up. | ||
| So it's like, you get out, and then how do you put things together? | ||
| So it doesn't help people. | ||
| It doesn't help them get to a regular, you know, upstanding citizen level. | ||
| And a lot of people, it institutionalizes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, if you're in long enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, but here's the thing. | ||
| The big question is, like, what could be done that's better? | ||
| What does that say, Jamie? | ||
| What are you putting up? | ||
| Well, first of all, if it's a non-violent, you know, I think you shouldn't be in jail. | ||
| Yeah, that one sticking out, what do you think it is? | ||
| Different offenses? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Oh, is that drugs? | ||
| Yeah, those are drug charges. | ||
| The giant one is the drug charges? | ||
| Yeah, those people are incarcerated for drug offenses. | ||
| See, that's crazy. | ||
| 46%. | ||
| Oh my God, that's crazy. | ||
| Look at those numbers. | ||
| The only thing, scroll down a little more. | ||
| Yeah, the only thing even above 10% is drugs. | ||
| Okay, and weapons. | ||
| Look, here's the thing. | ||
| You're not stopping people from selling drugs, obviously. | ||
| Plus, there's a bunch of other drugs that are available legally with prescriptions. | ||
| You need to stop this illegal drug thing. | ||
| You need to stop telling grown adults what they can or can't do. | ||
| Keep it away from children, make strict laws about the age restrictions, put a lot of money into education, and stop putting people in fucking cages for doing things they want to do, like coke. | ||
| If somebody wants to do coke, let them go do coke. | ||
| What do you give a fuck? | ||
| They can go drink whiskey until they die, and everybody's fine with that. | ||
| And then people go, oh, well, they do coke and they commit crimes. | ||
| Well, then arrest them for the crimes. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You don't arrest them for the coke. | ||
| Alcohol is a huge factor in crimes. | ||
| I mean, how many people have committed horrible crimes because they've been drunk? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And fights and beating the shit out of people. | ||
| That's all alcohol. | ||
| I was around a gang of drunk people last night. | ||
| Stone sober. | ||
| It's not a good time. | ||
| Not a good time. | ||
| Not a good time, man. | ||
| People, they get fucking crazy. | ||
| Especially, I would hate to be a woman. | ||
| At a bar? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Fucking sleazeballs. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| I love drinking. | ||
| I love my whiskey. | ||
| I'm a fucking big fan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But if you can't handle it, Wanna drink right now? | |
| No, I gotta drive. | ||
| Pussy! | ||
| You gotta drive somewhere! | ||
| Have a little drinky poo. | ||
| Just one little sip of the good stuff. | ||
| We got a little bit of Jack Daniels for you over here. | ||
| Yeah, man, booze is a sketchy drug. | ||
| Because I enjoy it, I like it, but ooh, is it for everybody? | ||
| It's like, there's a lot of things like that, though. | ||
| How come you can just go to a Chevrolet dealership and buy a Corvette? | ||
| Do you know how to drive that thing? | ||
| You know how to drive? | ||
| I know you know how to hit your blinker. | ||
| You know how to handle a 600 horsepower fucking demon ride? | ||
| You could just buy that? | ||
| These cars today, because of the horsepower wars, every year they're ramping up their speed, they're ramping up their handling, they're ramping up the braking, like the distance between, you know, like zero to 60 braking or 60 to zero. | ||
| Those things are supercars now. | ||
| And any regular kid, if you have enough money, they're like, what's the Corvette, like $50,000 or $60,000? | ||
| If you can get that money together somehow and get that loan, you can have something that's insane. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can just drive right into people and kill people. | ||
| Like the responsibility. | ||
| Like having a big giant truck, the responsibility of driving that thing. | ||
| Like all those things are dangerous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we allow people to do it. | ||
| I mean, yeah, we accept that there is a certain level of harm or death for things that we want as freedoms, and that should go through a lot of things. | ||
| It should go through with drugs. | ||
| It's like there's a certain level of harm or death people might do to themselves, and if they start doing it to others, we arrest them for that. | ||
| One of the things I was thinking of when I brought up the car things, I wanted to ask you how you feel about this oncoming onset of autonomous cars. | ||
| What's happening, man? | ||
| I talked about this last night in my stand-up. | ||
| Uber has now put self-driving cars in Pittsburgh. | ||
| They're trying it out. | ||
| This is a massive employer in our country. | ||
| It's transportation. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| Those are going away. | ||
| Those jobs are going to go away soon. | ||
| And I think that's fine because what that should do, if we were fucking rational beings, is that time and money savings should go to people. | ||
| It should go to all of us. | ||
| If we hate our job, we should be working less because technology can handle it now. | ||
| Instead, everybody's just working their goddamn asses off at jobs they hate because all of that time and savings is going to the elites that run these corporations. | ||
| It's not going to the people. | ||
| People are working themselves to death to feed a family. | ||
| It's completely nonsense. | ||
| But how does that have to do with the Uber thing, though? | ||
| Well, because transportation is a major employer in this country. | ||
| Isn't it like 40-something percent of all white men over a certain age work in some sort of an industry where they drive a vehicle? | ||
| I am not sure, but... | ||
| I might have made that up. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I'll use your made-up fact. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| According to Joe Rogan, people will go, oh, they'll just raise their eyebrows. | ||
| Oh, the Fear Factor guy's got opinions on driving. | ||
| But no, I think self-driving cars should be great. | ||
| They're going to get better and better, and then they'll Right, but when you say that the money is going away, it's not really, right? | ||
| Because someone has to make those cars, someone has to maintain those cars, someone has to run the Uber software. | ||
| It's just the driver aspect of it is going away. | ||
| The human labor part is going away. | ||
| Right, but we're making all those cars to begin with. | ||
| Right, but if it's way safer and people's lives are saved over people having jobs that are not a lot of fun anyway, for technological progress, when you look at the future of our culture, As much as I love automobiles, I love them. | ||
| I love engineering. | ||
| I'm a giant fan of auto engineering. | ||
| But they're going to go away. | ||
| We're going to have autonomous vehicles. | ||
| It's going to happen just like everybody has a cell phone. | ||
| You can't find it. | ||
| The hard thing is going to be getting a license to drive a car on your own without any sort of... | ||
| That'll be sad. | ||
| I didn't even think of that. | ||
| It's gonna happen, man. | ||
| If you have an old Corvette or something like that, you're gonna have to have a license to drive that old Corvette with your shitty-ass drum brakes and skinny, fucked-up tires. | ||
| And people like to think, oh, no, the autonomous thing won't happen because, you know, an autonomous car will kill someone, and then... | ||
| It's like, well, yeah, but they don't need to be better. | ||
| They don't need to be the best ever. | ||
| They just need to be better than humans. | ||
| And they're going to be better than humans quickly. | ||
| Yeah, like they're going to be instantly better than humans. | ||
| And by the way, with all those sensors that they could put on those things, have you ever seen how they respond? | ||
| They're really good at responding to like cars swerving at them. | ||
| They hit the brakes. | ||
| And if they're all doing that, as long as the code is good and the machinery is good and nothing gets fucked up, That's the big thing. | ||
| If it gets fucked up, will it have enough checkpoints? | ||
| Will it be able to do an assessment of itself and know whether or not it should be driving? | ||
| Although, here's the big question. | ||
| It'll eventually get to a point where it's taking away our freedom in a lot of ways because these things are going to drive the speed limit and it's going to drive us fucking nuts. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You're going to be sitting there and it's going to become illegal to go above the speed limit because self-driving cars will go the speed limit. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna have to follow the rules. | ||
| It's gonna be awful. | ||
| We'll just have to find some Russian dude who knows a guy with a chip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's gonna hot rod out your shit. | |
| I got one of the bots that breaks the law. | ||
| I got one of the criminal bots. | ||
| I mean, but if we're gonna progress, And go from here to some new state of technological excellence, which we undoubtedly will if we stay alive, right? | ||
| I mean, every civilization, every culture in this country, as far as we've been measuring it, just keeps getting better and better and better at figuring things out. | ||
| More and more efficient. | ||
| Although we're polluting more and damaging the earth more, our capabilities keep getting more and more powerful. | ||
| There's going to come a point in time, I think, where it was inevitable that people had to stop powering machines with their hands. | ||
| We should probably get out of that as quick as we can and concentrate on using our brains. | ||
| The idea that the person who drives the car could only drive the car, that's kind of crazy because I used to drive cars. | ||
| Did you ever drive cars before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I drove limos. | ||
| So I used to drive and deliver newspapers. | ||
| So I've been in driving jobs, right? | ||
| And I can do other stuff. | ||
| I can do other stuff! | ||
| People can do other stuff! | ||
| You can find another thing that you like to do. | ||
| It's not like, this guy lost his job! | ||
| The only way he feeds his family! | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I feel terrible that you lost your job. | ||
| I feel terrible that anybody loses their job and they have a hard time feeding their family. | ||
| But when you're talking about a job, I know it's hard to get jobs, but people lose and gain jobs all the time. | ||
| It does happen. | ||
| You gotta find one that's better than this one. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I agree, but for one thing, not everyone is smart enough to get a really intelligent job. | ||
| There's a lot of dummies. | ||
| There's a lot of dummies. | ||
| We fix that with Alex Jones genius pills from the CIA basement. | ||
| Luther Vandross got a hold of these in 1984. There was a period of six months where he didn't sing because they had him locked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In the basement of the dungeon in Virginia, colloidal silver will fix you. | |
| Did you ever see that dude who drank too much colloidal silver and he turned blue? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I did see the blue guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what that's from. | |
| And he died. | ||
| Well, he died, but he was old. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Like, he died just for being old. | ||
| He didn't die for being blue? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Maybe he might have. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| I think he just died. | ||
| I'm waiting for one day for Alex Jones to go, guys, I need to tell you. | ||
| I don't have the papers. | ||
| I don't have the documents. | ||
| I've got the documents! | ||
| I've been lying the whole time! | ||
| They're right here! | ||
| I don't have... | ||
| I lost the documents! | ||
| I lost... | ||
| I had them! | ||
| I spilled coffee on them. | ||
| But he had some documents. | ||
| That's the fucking problem. | ||
| Did you ever see... | ||
| He had a documentary that one of them really opened my eyes. | ||
| It was 9-1-1 Road to Tyranny, and it was another typical You know, he's talking about the demise of civilization and all these different things. | ||
| But then he goes into the WTO and the WTO protests. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is where it got really crazy. | ||
| 99? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he showed that all of these anarchists came in. | ||
| There's all these peaceful protesters. | ||
| And then all these anarchists came in with like ski masks on and government issue boots. | ||
| And started smashing everything. | ||
| They're literally wearing military issue boots. | ||
| They start knocking over newspaper dispensers and smashing car windows and storefronts and stuff like that. | ||
| So then the cops move in. | ||
| So the cops have to move in. | ||
| So then these guys get ramped up into some building. | ||
| They get cornered in some building. | ||
| They negotiate their release and then they're released without charges. | ||
| Oh yeah, the provocateur thing. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That shit happens all the time. | ||
| I mean, at the end of Occupy, it's like half of those camps were infiltrated cops. | ||
| Like, we're just plain coast cops. | ||
| Well, here's what they did with Seattle. | ||
| Was it Seattle? | ||
| The WTO? Yeah, yeah, Seattle. | ||
| They made people take off. | ||
| They had badges, like if someone had a pin that they were wearing that had a WTO with a red line through it. | ||
| They said this is a no protest zone. | ||
| You can't get through this zone with any form of protest. | ||
| So even a pin that says WTO with a red line through it, they were telling people you can't get to your job with that pin on. | ||
| You gotta be in the freedom of speech zone. | ||
| We've fenced off four feet. | ||
| That's the freedom of speech zone. | ||
| Dude, that's what's happening in Standing Rock right now. | ||
| Have you talked about Standing Rock on here? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| We've talked about it very briefly because I've been trying to pay attention to it. | ||
| It's getting crazy out there. | ||
| Look at it from both sides. | ||
| You know, this group, Standing Rock, the Standing Rock Sioux, they don't want an oil pipeline through their fucking water supply. | ||
| That should be their right. | ||
| And instead, it's this corporation that's just plowing through their sacred land. | ||
| And, you know, the cops, a girl had her arm nearly blown off. | ||
| They didn't quite have to amputate with a concussion grenade by the cops. | ||
| I heard that, and then the conspiracy theory online was that it wasn't a concussion grenade, that it was something that they had launched, and then it went bad, because there was more than one propane tank grenade or some shit. | ||
| I haven't read that. | ||
| Jamie, see if you can find out. | ||
| Get to the bottom of it, Jamie. | ||
| But yeah, I saw them spraying water on the protesters. | ||
| It was like 40 degrees out. | ||
| They're hosing these people down with water. | ||
| It was 23 degrees, though. | ||
| Sub-freezing temperatures. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're hosing them in water. | ||
| And now, this is the best part on top of that, the governor signed a mandatory eviction thing for all of them, saying it's because of cold temperatures and we're worried about your safety. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, we're real worried about... | ||
| We're gonna hit you with concussion grenades because we're worried about your safety. | ||
| People are getting jacked by those rubber bullets, too. | ||
| Rubber bullets can take an eye out, folks. | ||
| Those things are no joke. | ||
| They fucking hurt you bad, too. | ||
| I know a girl who lost an eye to a... | ||
| They shot a tear gas canister that hit her in the eye. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah, no, these less than lethal rounds can fucking do some damage. | ||
| You can't just, that's like really weak assault. | ||
| That's like going up to someone. | ||
| You say you didn't start a fight, but you start spitting at them and slapping them. | ||
| You're not trying to kill them, but you're definitely hurting them. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| And they're going after reporters. | ||
| This girl, Erin Schrode, she's been on ABC as a commentator and stuff. | ||
| She was down there. | ||
| There's video of her. | ||
| Viral video of her where she's interviewing a guy. | ||
| As she's interviewing, she gets shot by a sniper with a rubber bullet. | ||
| Yeah, for doing nothing. | ||
| For just interviewing her. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that. | ||
| Jamie, have you seen that? | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| She's just sitting there talking to somebody and she gets shot. | ||
| It's nuts! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's nuts! | |
| They just fucking... | ||
| They just take pot shots at you. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And it also creates this us-versus-them environment where these guys who are hired to be the cops that get rid of the protesters, those are just regular people. | ||
| And they've been given orders to get rid of these protesters and then the protesters become the enemy. | ||
| And it becomes an us-versus-them scenario, which we're so accustomed to. | ||
| And a lot of them are coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan, and they're used to war zones. | ||
| And this shouldn't be a war zone. | ||
| This should be peaceful protesters, which it is. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know, I don't know what the answer is to something like that. | ||
| I don't know how you stop what's already been done. | ||
| And I don't know how you ever got permission to go through somebody's land. | ||
| If land is public, okay, that's one thing. | ||
| If you want to have a debate on whether or not we could do what we could do with our own national public lands, I'm against that. | ||
| I'm against... | ||
| I'm against... | ||
| I think we fucked up so much of this country as it is. | ||
| Let's stop. | ||
| Let's not do any more of that. | ||
| But if that's private land, if it's private land... | ||
| They own the land. | ||
| Do they have a treaty? | ||
| It's their land? | ||
| Yeah, it's their land. | ||
| There's a rancher on the land too, right? | ||
| It's their land. | ||
| No, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The rancher? | ||
| They're going to a rancher's land too? | ||
| There's another woman in Iowa. | ||
| Same pipeline though. | ||
| Dakota Access. | ||
| Cindy Coppola, she's a farmer. | ||
| She's not Native American. | ||
| She's a white woman, farmer in Iowa. | ||
| They're coming through her own farm. | ||
| They arrested her for getting in their way. | ||
| Yeah, they said they had to have access. | ||
| And so they made some sort of an easement, right? | ||
| They just, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just decide. | |
| They go into the city council and they get something passed and it's eminent domain and they just take the land. | ||
| See, that's what the problem is, folks. | ||
| This is a company. | ||
| This is not the United States government safety commission that needs this oil to protect us from impending invaders. | ||
| There's nothing in your best interest about this. | ||
| This is all money. | ||
| They're not going to give you free oil because they got that oil through you. | ||
| Most of it's shipped overseas. | ||
| It doesn't even go to us. | ||
| It's billions of dollars in profit. | ||
| That's the darkness of this, is that they're going through land that's not theirs, and they think they just can because they want oil. | ||
| Like, I've seen people argue that, you know, oh, this is exaggerated or that's exaggerated, but here's the cold fact that you can't ignore. | ||
| They're going through somebody else's land against their will. | ||
| So either it's their land Or it's not their land. | ||
| So it's their land. | ||
| Do they have a treaty? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Does this guy have a ranch? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Does he own it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| You're the government? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what that means? | ||
| You're people. | ||
| People can't go through other people's fucking ground because they think they want to. | ||
| You can't just do that. | ||
| The hypothetical idea is that we elected these people to do our bidding, not to do the corporation's bidding, whatever the fuck they want to make profit. | ||
| Yeah, whether you're left-wing or right-wing, that's the most insane proposition is giving the government that kind of power to just go through private land and pump an oil pipeline under a fucking river. | ||
| And that's where mostly the left and right come together. | ||
| It's like libertarians, the left, nobody wants to just be like, oh yeah, you can just plow through someone's land whether they want it or not. | ||
| And it's inconvenient for people to poo-poo because it's not your land. | ||
| But if it was your land, what if you had this bitchin' stream in your backyard, and you used to like to catch trout in it, and you're like, God damn it, baby, we found the perfect spot to build a house. | ||
| And you set up and everything's good. | ||
| And then one day you go out and the fish are fucking belly up, and the water's rainbow-hued because it's filled with oil. | ||
| And you're like, oh no, the pipeline's leaking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That pipe under your house that they forced you to have, now it's leaking. | ||
| They're going through the Missouri River and it's the drinking water for 18 million people. | ||
| And that's what they're fighting against. | ||
| Dude, I know a guy who had bone cancer and his entire neighborhood had cancer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they lived next to a golf course. | ||
| And the golf course, the water from all the pesticides, it was getting into the groundwater and they were drinking out of well water. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| These people got jacked. | ||
| Yeah, that's where you really see it. | ||
| There was a whole neighborhood in Greenpoint, Brooklyn that had brain tumors and stuff because there was an oil spill underneath the streets. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Jesus, Jamie! | ||
| He just did it, too! | ||
| This is on Snopes, though, so you can hear me. | ||
| Unprecedented! | ||
| Three and one! | ||
| Unprecedented! | ||
| Jamie, what have you done? | ||
| What have you done to Jamie? | ||
| Did you come in here with a spell? | ||
| Is there some sort of magic you have, Lee Camp? | ||
| Some sort of lefty magic? | ||
| Dump water all over control panels. | ||
| Man, it just makes me sad. | ||
| Oh, here we go. | ||
| Police blame Wolanski's injury on protesters. | ||
| While we could not reach law enforcement, Morton County Sheriff's Department released a statement on Facebook on the 23rd of November 2016 saying the injury was caused by an exploding propane canister that protesters were handling. | ||
| They later removed the post. | ||
| But Wayne Walensky told us the statement was false. | ||
| Sophia had no burns on her. | ||
| And while making a major portion while major portion of her lower arm was blown out Oh my god her hand was still attached by the ulna bone making the claim that she was a victim of a fire explosion seem unlikely He said she was totally lucid after being injured and recounted being struck by a grenade like object that exploded on contact with her arm Yeah, so it's a flash grenade It's a flash grenade, yeah. | ||
| Well, when crazy things like this happen, there's always a lot of stories floating around. | ||
| It's hard to figure out what is what. | ||
| Oh, there's some viral post that everyone's sending me of a woman, a Native American woman, saying they're dumping chemicals on the protesters, and yet, if you talk to... | ||
| Anybody else, it's not true, or it doesn't seem verified, and yet it's so viral. | ||
| Everybody's emailing me this post of them dumping chemicals on the protest. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's what people do. | ||
| Did you see the, I think it was, I forget one of the online magazines, caught up with a guy who creates fake news stories? | ||
| And they asked him, you know, why he did it. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| He was on a dig the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Clicks. | |
| Well, not just that. | ||
| It was also, he is, um, he's actually a Democrat, the guy who did it, who they interviewed. | ||
| And they said that he was trying to expose how vulnerable the right is, in particular, to really obviously fake stories. | ||
| So he'd make these really obviously fake stories that anybody could, like, in a couple seconds... | ||
| There was one about the Pope endorsing Trump. | ||
| It went viral in the right. | ||
| Well, it was one of them about a paid protester, how much protesters are getting. | ||
| These protesters are getting $300 an hour or something. | ||
| Just ridiculous shit. | ||
| And then these fucking people ran with it. | ||
| George Soros is paying those protesters! | ||
| You know, as if all these protesters... | ||
| Soros has given free hand jobs to every protester. | ||
| Dude, I was in New York for the protests. | ||
| It was fascinating. | ||
| It seemed like a lot of- Which protests? | ||
| Right after Trump won. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, oh. | |
| It seemed like so much weird energy. | ||
| So much chaotic, lost energy. | ||
| To see the streets filled with people, I was like, wow, this is bananas. | ||
| They closed down streets. | ||
| They closed down entire streets with hundreds of thousands of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Maybe even millions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just walking down the street, screaming out slogans. | ||
| I mean, my point is, yeah, they should be furious, but they should have been furious five years ago. | ||
| Like, why wait till this? | ||
| Because we have bills, bro. | ||
| We have shit to think about, you know? | ||
| Got problems. | ||
| My bowling game's down. | ||
| My bowling game's down. | ||
| Dude, Westworld is good. | ||
| Westworld is good. | ||
| My kids keep flunking school. | ||
| People have all sorts of things to worry about. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| They got shit to do. | ||
| They got shit to do. | ||
| That's why I think just even the idea of a person being president is fucking ridiculous. | ||
| Like, how's this guy gonna run the world? | ||
| Does he have a life? | ||
| He has an actual life? | ||
| He has family? | ||
| Doesn't he play golf? | ||
| Doesn't he have, like, things he likes to do? | ||
| Does he read? | ||
| How the fuck's this guy got time to do all that stuff? | ||
| Hey, Bush had time to take more vacation days than anyone had ever taken. | ||
| Probably a good move. | ||
| Probably good. | ||
| It's probably good. | ||
| I mean, we all knew that Dick Cheney was running the show anyway. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| We think we do. | ||
| But no, we've given increasing power to the president when the president was supposed to be one of three factors going on, and now we just keep feeding more and more power to the president. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| People that like Obama, it's like he did not give away any power that no president gives away any power they've gotten. | ||
| So they just keep gaining and gaining power. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was the big question when the NDAA was proposed. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| They said, what happens if Obama is a very reasonable guy, most likely he won't use indefinite detention, but what if you get some new president that's crazy? | ||
| And then look what happens. | ||
| There you are! | ||
| Here, let me give you a dictator's toolkit, the largest surveillance infrastructure ever. | ||
| Let me give you the right to lock up journalists without a trial or charges. | ||
| Let me give you the right to drone bomb Americans. | ||
| An American was executed in drone bombings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As long as it's not over here. | ||
| As long as it's not in our patch of dirt, we're cool with you killing Americans with flying robots. | ||
| But no trial. | ||
| No trial, yeah. | ||
| What was he, an Al-Qaeda guy? | ||
| Was he ISIS? He joined ISIS or something? | ||
| Here's the thing, his, and I don't want to say the names because I'll get them wrong, but his father was preaching terrorism, so they executed him, and then they executed his 16-year-old son. | ||
| Nowhere near him. | ||
| They just took out the son. | ||
| They just decided the son was too risky? | ||
| They were like, eh, why not? | ||
| Whoa, that's some Game of Thrones shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| That is, right? | ||
| That's some Game of Thrones type shit. | ||
| You gotta kill the son. | ||
| And literally when they were finally answered as to why they had executed the son, one of the press secretary or someone goes, well, you know, he shouldn't have had a father like that. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Could you imagine if everyone were responsible for what their father did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Ooh. | ||
| Imagine if every father was responsible for what their kid did. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| My argument has always been, how come if your dog bites someone, you can get sued? | ||
| If your kid shoots up a post office? | ||
| You're not liable. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, up to a certain age, you should be liable for your kids. | ||
| Like, 23. You want to go that far? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You'll really work hard at doing a good job. | ||
| Make sure you don't unleash that little monster in the world, so we have to deal with it. | ||
| Listen, you dropped him 12 times and fed him mac and cheese all his life. | ||
| Yeah, you fucked him. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| You fucked him. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, how many people are out there fucking their kids? | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of monsters out there, man. | ||
| People need hotter pets, and then they'd leave their kids alone. | ||
| Hotter pets? | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is that a bestiality joke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| What the fuck, Lee Camp? | ||
| I've gone off the rail. | ||
| I was going to say something. | ||
| You totally derailed me. | ||
| That'll frighten your brain right there. | ||
| Yeah, not that I really think that people should be responsible for their kids. | ||
| It's odd what we are and aren't responsible. | ||
| It's just amazing how easy it is to just have a kid and then just do a shitty job raising it. | ||
| You just have to have a license to pump out... | ||
| Put these fleshy idiots into the world. | ||
| Well, it's not that you want to stop anybody from doing it, because who are you to tell? | ||
| I mean, somebody might want to tell you that Lee Campinol's bullshit about the elites. | ||
| You think that fucking asshole should have a kid? | ||
| Yeah, he's going to have a kid. | ||
| That little lefty fucking kid's going to go with my kid, and they're going to argue about some shit that I know is wrong. | ||
| I mean, they're gonna decide that you shouldn't have a kid, so who the fuck, you know, there's a lot of people way fucking smarter than me, and if it became an argument between who gets to breed, me or them, they're gonna win. | ||
| But I like having kids, so what the fuck? | ||
| I agree. | ||
| How many kids you got? | ||
| I have three. | ||
| I had to think about it for a second. | ||
| When you said I like having kids, I thought we were going to hear like seven or something. | ||
| No, I think about it because we were talking to John Jones yesterday and he's got four. | ||
| I left, I was like, God damn, you have four kids already? | ||
| He's trying for a boy? | ||
| But my point being, it's like, it's an uber complicated experience to just hand off to everybody and the outcome of Is a developed human being. | ||
| So we're counting on everybody to do a good job developing us. | ||
| Listen, the beginning of Idiocracy is the truest thing that's ever been created. | ||
| Do you remember that movie? | ||
| I never saw it. | ||
| I never saw it. | ||
| I have a bit, apparently, that's extremely similar to the premise of it. | ||
| It came out before the movie on Showtime, luckily, so it's documented. | ||
| Dude, that movie was so prescient, and they fucking knew what was going to happen. | ||
| At the very beginning of the movie, they just show a split screen of a really dumb idiot couple, maybe rednecks, but they're fucking morons. | ||
| They clearly don't know what the fuck's going on, and they're just pumping out kids. | ||
| They're just fucking dozens of kids. | ||
| And then they show these, you know, little liberal elite couple living in, you know, their brownstone in New York, deciding whether to have a child. | ||
| And each year goes by and they're like, you know, we decided not to yet. | ||
| We'll do it soon. | ||
| And they never have the kid. | ||
| And meanwhile, the rednecks have pumped out 42 kids. | ||
| It's like, well, there's your world. | ||
| That is what happens. | ||
| People that are career-oriented, especially if the husband and the wife can't decide who's going to stay home with the kid, if they're both career-oriented, it becomes a thing like, hey, let's wait until we're 36. Hey, let's wait until we're 42. Hey, let's freeze my eggs. | ||
| And the next thing you know, you adopt. | ||
| I think you should be allowed to freeze a kid at least up to five years old. | ||
| Adopting is a great idea, and it's awesome that a lot of people do it, but people want their own kids. | ||
| That's the other weird thing about DNA. It's like, you want your own DNA. The DNA pumped out. | ||
| Look at my boy. | ||
| That's my boy. | ||
| I look at you, son. | ||
| You came right out of my own body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm here to teach you the way of the man. | |
| It's a very odd thing that we do it so often, though. | ||
| Even me, I'm guilty. | ||
| I told you, I've got three of them. | ||
| But I look around, there's seven billion people on this planet. | ||
| I'm like, man, maybe we've got too many people? | ||
| Do you sit down with the kids and talk to them about it? | ||
| You say, hey guys, let's just all of us hang together. | ||
| You don't need your own kids. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Come on, I had you. | ||
| Get a dog. | ||
| Get a nice dog. | ||
| Get a nice little dog. | ||
| There's a shitload of people. | ||
| That's the thing is, America, we are way outnumbered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, way outnumbered, compared to the rest of the world. | |
| You know, India. | ||
| Well, that's the cool thing about America, when you fly over. | ||
| Like, if the shit gets really bad, we have so many places to expand. | ||
| We have so many new subdivisions we could open up in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Like, when you're flying over and you see nothing but empty space, like, oh, we could fucking just live here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Lots of room. | ||
| There's plenty of space. | ||
| We just gotta settle down on the breeding. | ||
| You think about that when you're sitting in L.A. traffic. | ||
| You're like, you know how much space there is out there? | ||
| Why are we all in four feet? | ||
| In L.A. traffic is nothing, right? | ||
| Worldwide. | ||
| I've been to Mexico City. | ||
| Mexico City, stoplights aren't even a suggestion. | ||
| They're just bullshit. | ||
| Nobody's paying attention to anything. | ||
| It's a perpetual traffic jam and people are just weaseling left and right and trying to merge into this stream of perpetual gridlock. | ||
| They just go for it. | ||
| They just go for it. | ||
| And all of a sudden they're in the middle and they go for it. | ||
| No one's letting anybody in. | ||
| You gotta catch people that are sleeping or you just gotta be really rude about it. | ||
| And do you think the people in Mexico City would just like that initially? | ||
| Or do you think that came from like no cop wants to pull someone over because they don't want to get shot? | ||
| I think it's the population. | ||
| It's too high. | ||
| It's just too high. | ||
| Mexico City has an incredible population. | ||
| I think it's the number one city in the world. | ||
| Is Mexico City number one? | ||
| Tokyo, I think. | ||
| Tokyo is number one? | ||
| 35 million in Tokyo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Really? | ||
| 35 million? | ||
| Dude, in Tokyo, they have people whose job it is to cram people onto the subways. | ||
| I've seen that. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They elbow the people onto the subways. | ||
| Yeah, how about that? | ||
| 35 million people and the ground moves every couple years. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Yeah, have fun. | ||
| Stay together. | ||
| Keep it together, people. | ||
| But that's interesting. | ||
| 37 million. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 37,800,000 in Tokyo. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| So that's number one. | ||
| And how many in Mexico City? | ||
| Probably not nearly as many as that. | ||
| I want to say 30. 21. We'll go with 30. Let's go with the Joe Rogan. | ||
| Let's go with the Joe Rogan. | ||
| It sounded better when I said 30. Either way, it's a totally congested city. | ||
| It's completely jammed up with people. | ||
| But LA's on the way to that. | ||
| It's on its way. | ||
| If it's not going to get there tomorrow, it'll get there in 20 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We should all go live out in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| The problem is this is a really good spot. | ||
| You know what else, speaking of how open the country is, is people fucking are buying up all the land. | ||
| Like the Scientologists own all the land. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| Ted Turner, a guy who created CNN. He owns enough land in America that is equivalent to the size of Delaware. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's balling out of control. | ||
| People buy up all the land. | ||
| He got rid of Jane Fonda because she became Christian. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| There's probably other factors. | ||
| I mean, I'm just saying it because it's a good soundbite, and that's what I read online. | ||
| She was great in newsroom, though. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| I mean, maybe they just stopped liking each other. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| What do I know? | ||
| What do I give a fuck? | ||
| But I just thought it was fascinating that she became a Christian, like, really late in life, and he's like, check! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I'd be the same way. | ||
| You can't show up, Christian, at my door. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What if you were dating a girl and she was, like, super cool, but she got into yoga, and then she got into deities, and then she got into the writings of Christ, and you came home one day, and she's reading the Bible, and you're like, what are you doing? | ||
| It's just an interesting book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just an amazing book. | ||
| Well, I picked up this novel, and I decided I'm going to live my life by it. | ||
| Turner Ranch, Ted Turner's? | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| The FAQ out keeps saying, Mr. Turner this, Mr. Turner that. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| Oh, frequently asked questions? | ||
| How large are Mr. Turner's land holdings? | ||
| Mr. Turner is the second largest individual landowner in North America with approximately 2 million acres of personal and ranch land in the 12 U.S. states and Argentina. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Argentina. | ||
| So now look up how many million acres is Delaware, and we'll see whether I'm making my shit up or whether I have it right. | ||
| There's something weird about owning a ranch in Argentina. | ||
| What's going on, bro? | ||
| You have a ranch here, you have two million acres here, and you got a ranch in Argentina? | ||
| Are you going to live forever? | ||
| What's happening, sir? | ||
| Well, you get to the brain in the jar. | ||
| Him and the Koch brothers are going to have their brains in jars running the big, almost twice the size of Delaware. | ||
| Wow, that's incredible. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| He's got more property than Delaware. | ||
| He's ballin' out of control. | ||
| Probably more entertaining than Delaware, too. | ||
| Ballin' out of control. | ||
| Do you think he's got a girlfriend? | ||
| Do you think he just ships in Russian? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| When you get to that much money, you just have Russian orgies, I think. | ||
| Yeah, they just show up. | ||
| Dude, have you heard the Sumner Redstone tapes during the trial? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| He's like, so he had this big trial, and he's like 98 or whatever he is, 96 or something, and the tapes that they played to show that he was with it were him arranging an orgy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| In his 90s? | ||
| He's in his 90s, and he's like, so, you know, then you'll suck me off, and I'll... | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
| Sumner Redstone. | ||
| He's one of the biggest media owners in the world, or whatever. | ||
| And how did they film him doing this? | ||
| It was a taped... | ||
| I don't know how it was recorded, but it was a taped phone call that they submitted to show that he was mentally... | ||
| That he was lucid? | ||
| That he was lucid, because they were trying to take his company from him. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| So he submitted that? | ||
| What is it Ted Turner, the 73-year-old billionaire founder of CNN, has revealed that he has four girlfriends, each of which whom he spends one week with a month. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I love the idea of having four girlfriends, but they've got you nailed down per week. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Jane Fonda is probably screaming when she's reading this. | ||
| Just looking at her screen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus is the way! | |
| She went to Standing Rock, though. | ||
| Jane Fonda went to Standing Rock and fed the protesters. | ||
| They let her off the hook after that Hanoi Jane stuff? | ||
| I think she's finally gotten past that. | ||
| That poor girl. | ||
| Don't get in the tank. | ||
| Don't get in the tank. | ||
| When you're, like, how old was she at the time? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| 20s? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, when you're that young... | ||
| Hey, look, being in the tank wasn't right, but most people would agree she was probably right that Vietnam shouldn't have been happening. | ||
| We shouldn't have been bombing Vietnam. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%, right? | ||
| It's just that message was so confusing to people because there was the first war that we shouldn't have done. | ||
| Like, all of a sudden, we're the bad guy. | ||
| Whereas when we were kids... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Native Americans might have some qualms with First War. | ||
| We shouldn't have done. | ||
| But you know what I mean. | ||
| It was the first one on TV. The Native America was more of a genocide than it was a war. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I mean the battles. | ||
| But I mean like an army shipping off to do battle with an opposing army. | ||
| This is the first time like, whoa, we're wrong here. | ||
| And on TV, you're seeing the bodies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so there was a lot of people that were trying to protest it, and then when you're 20, or in your 20s, you're so clumsy as it is, it's so likely you're going to get the message out wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she... | ||
| That was the wrong way to do it. | ||
| She fucked up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Hanoi Jane, man, that's stuck with her forever, for decades. | ||
| Imagine if Twitter was around back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She... | |
| Oh, God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Could you imagine? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You'd be tarred and feathered so quickly. | ||
| Yeah, like if she did a Reddit Ask Me Anything in the 70s. | ||
| I'm in a tank in Hanoi. | ||
| Ask me anything. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| What are your thoughts on, like, the public shaming and the mob just get out of hand sometimes? | ||
| Yeah, it's too fun for people. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| It becomes too fun. | ||
| It's too fun to attack. | ||
| And they love to see people that got you going fall. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, people love that. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| It's unfortunate because it's a new power that people have, and we're yielding it against each other. | ||
| Sometimes for the wrong reasons. | ||
| Sometimes for the right reasons. | ||
| I mean, I think certain people who've done terrible shit, I mean, I couldn't think of any offhand. | ||
| I could think of, like, a lot of those football players, like the one guy who knocked his girlfriend out in the elevator. | ||
| Like, that guy deserved all that shame. | ||
| You know, like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| You just, you punched her in the face. | ||
| Like, you can't restrain her. | ||
| She's trying to hit you. | ||
| So you left-hooked her? | ||
| Can you grab ahold of her, man? | ||
| You're a giant. | ||
| You're a big, giant super athlete. | ||
| And you KO'd your wife? | ||
| That's fucked up, right? | ||
| I think a lot of us have that, you know, sort of feeling. | ||
| And so when a guy like that gets all this blowback... | ||
| For something like that, you know, it's deserved. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's been some people that have been attacked for some shit that didn't make any sense. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Some, yeah. | ||
| I mean, hell, there's that new documentary out on Amanda Knox. | ||
| What do you think about that, Keith? | ||
| Oh, she's totally innocent. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| If you watch the documentary, I didn't... | ||
| So here's the thing, I went in... | ||
| Well, just fill out the story for people, because there was a murder in Italy, right? | ||
| I went in with kind of a blank mind, because I didn't pay attention to almost any of it when it was happening. | ||
| She was a dumb, and I just mean young dumb, exchange student or whatever, and she's in Italy, and she's in a housing unit with a girl she's kind of friendly with. | ||
| She goes and stays at her boyfriend's place, comes back the next day. | ||
| The door's locked, and they can't get it open, but they see some blood on the carpet. | ||
| They call the cops. | ||
| They open the door. | ||
| The girl's dead. | ||
| There's blood everywhere. | ||
| She's been raped and stabbed and beaten. | ||
| And... | ||
| And then they found the guy that did it, but they were so keen on going after Amanda Knox, they were just like, it's gotta be her! | ||
| And then honestly, I think what indicted her is she seems to be a little off. | ||
| She seems to maybe have some Asperger's or something. | ||
| So she wasn't behaving emotionally like people are used to someone behaving. | ||
| And that's all it was. | ||
| She had... | ||
| For sure? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think pretty for sure, yeah. | |
| And so they convicted her, then they found her not guilty, and then they ultimately found her not guilty again. | ||
| And they tried to bring her back to the country, right? | ||
| They tried to bring her back for the Supreme Court trial, but they went along with it anyway. | ||
| She didn't come back, but she was found not guilty again, because the DNA evidence was bullshit. | ||
| It was so contaminated, it was... | ||
| Now, if someone does get pronounced not guilty and they've been put through that horror for all those years, do they get any compensation for that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Nothing you can do. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Occasionally when you've got a guy like in the US that's been in jail for 30 years, they'll give them like a million dollars or something, but it doesn't bring their life back. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, her life and her boyfriend's life were just destroyed. | ||
| Do you remember that fucking guy who got accused of being the Olympic Village bomber? | ||
| And he was a security guard. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And they smeared his name. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Richard something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Richard Jewell. | |
| They're making a movie about him, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, they put that guy on TV. They said he was the bomber. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And he was just a regular old security guard. | ||
| Didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| I was a kid at that Olympics, and we were deciding whether to go to the next day after the bombing. | ||
| So a bomb blew up. | ||
| Did it kill anybody? | ||
| Killed one person, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, and one bloody died of a heart attack, I believe. | ||
| I was there that night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| I wasn't there when a bomb went off, but I was going to be... | ||
| Like, we were going to go to a basketball game. | ||
| There was, like, the U.S. Dream Team was playing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| We went to... | ||
| Someone scalper wouldn't let us buy tickets, so we left. | ||
| But on our way home, that happened. | ||
| Like, we were on the subway going out to the suburb. | ||
| My mom was calling everyone around us thinking, like, we got caught in it. | ||
| I had, like, video of the park and whoever was on stage that day. | ||
| But we missed... | ||
| I'm not, like, really cool because I wasn't in the bomb, but, like... | ||
| You know, Callan was in New York City at Gotham Comedy Club when the most recent bomb went off. | ||
| He was six blocks away from me. | ||
| He heard the bomb go off. | ||
| What was that bomb? | ||
| Pressure cooker bomb. | ||
| It hurt a lot of people. | ||
| It didn't kill anybody, but it hurt a lot of people. | ||
| It was under one of those remote-controlled pressure cooker jammies where they set it and just walked away from it. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| God, the fact that someone could just do that and just indiscriminately blow up a bunch of people and blow shrapnel into their body. | ||
| But that guy got accused, that Jewel, Richard Jewel guy, that guy got accused publicly. | ||
| The news ran with it. | ||
| They didn't have any evidence. | ||
| It was all wrong. | ||
| He didn't do anything. | ||
| And everybody was like, oh, they found him. | ||
| They found him. | ||
| They put his picture on the fucking newspaper cover. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That guy after the Boston bomb, another pressure cooker, after the Boston bombing, they put those guys on the front of the New York Post or whatever it was. | ||
| Rolling Stone, remember? | ||
| And it wasn't, well, no, no, that was the real guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the other guys. | |
| These were the innocent guys. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| They just put them on, they were like, FBI's looking for this guy. | ||
| And it was like his life was torn apart and he's like on Facebook like, I didn't bomb anyone. | ||
| See if you can find that photo, Jamie. | ||
| I forgot about that until you just brought that up. | ||
| That was like within the first day of it, right? | ||
| In one day, his life was destroyed because walking down the street, people think they're looking at the Boston bomber. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| Dude, and that's the fucking run-in with information we don't have yet. | ||
| Well, that's why people that have that sort of responsibility, like you're the media, the official stamped media, that's why, you know, Rolling Stone took so much heat when they had that cute bomber on the cover, that handsome fella. | ||
| Handsome bomber. | ||
| It's like, that guy could have got so much tail. | ||
| Why is he on the cover? | ||
| Fucking cover Rolling Stone for being a bomber. | ||
| He should be out there getting chicks. | ||
| It does seem like if these guys got laid a little more, they wouldn't have done this shit. | ||
| Yeah, bag men. | ||
| Fed seek these two pictured at Boston Marathon. | ||
| Meanwhile, they're just fucking dudes. | ||
| And that guy in blue, like, the next day he's walking down the street being called a bomber. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Yeah, those big mistakes. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Dewey beats Truman. | ||
| They get that guy in the Dallas shooting, too, that was walking around with a gun that they thought that was him because people saw a picture of him with a gun walking around the street, but he had actually turned in the gun to a police officer. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| I do remember that, but vaguely. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In Dallas, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Do you think... | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| I'm sorry, please go ahead. | ||
| Well, no, I was going to say, you know what I wish people were still talking about with the Boston bombing is there was a third guy who wasn't there. | ||
| They said he was friends with the bombers, so they wanted to interview him. | ||
| The FBI goes down to, what, Florida, Georgia, somewhere, interviews him four times, the fourth time, and they admit he was unarmed. | ||
| They shoot him seven times once in the back of the head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ibrahim Tadasev just executed the guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The FBI did. | ||
| And then they came out and said, oh, he had a gun. | ||
| Oh, he had a knife. | ||
| Oh, never mind. | ||
| He had a stick. | ||
| Oh, well, he didn't have any weapons, but we feared for our lives. | ||
| And it's like, your fourth interview with the guy, you just executed him. | ||
| It's like crazy. | ||
| But, what better way to get the cute boy on the Rolling Stone cover to talk than to pump seven bullets into your friend. | ||
| Into his friend. | ||
| I mean, that's how you get the dude to talk. | ||
| That's how you sell them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you know. | |
| Hey, here's a picture of your friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I just shot him in the fucking head. | ||
| I'm going to shoot you too. | ||
| Tell me who told you to do this. | ||
| Who taught you how to do this, fuckface. | ||
| Here's a video on my phone, just so you know that I really shot your friend. | ||
| But that's our media. | ||
| How is that not a story? | ||
| Basically never mentioned in the media. | ||
| Like really briefly mentioned. | ||
| So briefly that I forgot about it until you just brought it up. | ||
| I had totally forgotten about that. | ||
| I'm like, oh yeah, they jacked that guy. | ||
| But we were like, fuck him. | ||
| Guy's a bad guy. | ||
| Because he was friends with bombers. | ||
| Fucked up. | ||
| Guy fucked up. | ||
| Shouldn't have been hanging around with the bomber guy. | ||
| Should have thought about who his father was. | ||
| Shit thought about those friends were, too. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| People that have that kind of power, like, that's an enormous responsibility. | ||
| You have a gun. | ||
| Part of your job is to shoot people when they fuck up. | ||
| Like, whoa. | ||
| And you're at the highest level, right? | ||
| You're the FBI. You're there to protect national security. | ||
| Federal Bureau of Information. | ||
| I feel like they're not taught how to de-escalate shit. | ||
| They're only taught how to escalate. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure they're taught how to de-escalate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm absolutely sure they are. | |
| Okay, they don't stick with that training. | ||
| Let's just say that. | ||
| Well, they're people, man. | ||
| There's a real problem with giving people power. | ||
| Giving anyone power over other people, that's a very intoxicating position. | ||
| Especially the kind of life or death power someone with a gun has, and people don't want to listen to you. | ||
| And the other thing is, like, how many people could handle that kind of pressure day in, day out for 10 years? | ||
| Or 20 years? | ||
| I totally agree. | ||
| Those guys are under a shitload of pressure, but that still means we're doing something wrong if they're executing people. | ||
| Oh, look, it's 100% wrong. | ||
| It's a hundred percent wrong, but the whole stew is wrong from everything we discussed from people anybody being able to have a person which I don't have any solution for I'm not a eugenics guy I'm not saying I'm not offering up any sort of crazy solution All I'm saying is we all agree that part of the problem is people get raised by horrible awful people who abuse them and beat them and rape them and They're subjected to all sorts of horrible shit as they're growing up and they develop all fucked up we we all know people like that they're just all fucked up and And those people are just cast out | ||
| into the world. | ||
| And this is what our world is made of. | ||
| Our world is made out of people. | ||
| I mean, our civilization, at least. | ||
| Well, this is why I think, and maybe people will get behind me on this, so the numbers are, it's rough, but they think in the sociopath test, about one out of every hundred people is a sociopath. | ||
| And those people usually do really well in business. | ||
| They get to the top of corporations. | ||
| They become president of the United States. | ||
| And it's like, we should have a sociopath test for high-ranking officials. | ||
| You'd have to completely define it as someone who really doesn't have feelings for other people, right? | ||
| You'd have to be able to really nail that down. | ||
| But feelings are so... | ||
| Emotions and emotional connections and empathy, it's such a poorly defined thing. | ||
| Because someone who watches a lot of movies and reads a lot of books, you can say the right words if you're manipulative. | ||
| Without actually feeling it, you can say all the right words. | ||
| It happens to people all the time in relationships. | ||
| Like, you know, a girl meet a guy, he's charming, and he tells her he loves her. | ||
| I mean, he really just is like he's doing stuff that he saw in a movie. | ||
| And then, you know, maybe four or five months in, she realized, oh my god, he's a total psychopath. | ||
| And, like, he's just saying things. | ||
| He just knew how to feel anything. | ||
| He just knew how to say the right things, wear the right cologne, whatever it was. | ||
| Say the right things at the right time, because he's had a lot of practice. | ||
| And if you get the end of it and there's a person who's like literally barely a person like some sort of a robot Reciting things, you know, I mean that was did you ever read? | ||
| Was the Brett Easton Ellis book that they turned into a movie Bradley Cooper what American Psycho? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right American Psycho, but that's Christian Bale. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah Brett Easton Ellis's book. | ||
| Yeah The book is terrifying. | ||
| It's way more terrifying than the movie. | ||
| I didn't read the book. | ||
| The book is awful. | ||
| I remember people, not awful like a bad book. | ||
| It's really well written, but it's awful like holy shit. | ||
| And by the way, how much do the Trump kids look like American Psycho? | ||
| It's like they're trying. | ||
| Well, how do you look if your dad's a billionaire? | ||
| You probably can't look any other way. | ||
| You have two options. | ||
| You go all in with pops, and you join the family business, or you become like that surfer dude who like, man, well, he really got into drugs, and we brought him into counseling, but that didn't help. | ||
| Fell far from the tree, yeah. | ||
| You could be like in the Malibu rehab permanently with flip-flops on, your feet up, and they keep you sober, but you just like to surf. | ||
| Your dad just pays for your treatment. | ||
| I mean, they have a special kind of hair gel for kids of billionaires. | ||
| I don't know how they slick it back like that. | ||
| Well, it's liberal tears. | ||
| They scoop them out of buckets. | ||
| Hillary Clinton rallies. | ||
| They just kick liberals in the balls, collect the tears. | ||
| They just went around that night. | ||
| All the people were crying when Hillary lost. | ||
| They just gathered them up, gathered up those tears, and they just slick their hair back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think that's it. | |
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| We're going to find out how much power the president actually has too. | ||
| Because this Trump election let us know, hey, the system actually does work. | ||
| Someone can come in that's not being represented by their party. | ||
| The party didn't even want them in. | ||
| Someone can come in and still win. | ||
| But, at least so far, Bernie Sanders got closed. | ||
| But, right now, only if you have a billion dollars. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I think that's gonna change. | ||
| First of all, no one like Bernie ever existed before Bernie, right? | ||
| Agreed. | ||
| So all of a sudden Bernie comes in. | ||
| Now, here's the thing. | ||
| If Trump's policies start working out, that's when everyone's fucked. | ||
| If all of a sudden we can realize, oh, here were the log jams, he's right. | ||
| Like, holy shit, we're prospering again? | ||
| Holy shit, look all this good stuff that's happening? | ||
| Even if he just does massive infrastructure projects that put people to work so that he can have his name Trump across the Trump bullet train, the Trump this, the Trump that, even if he just does that, that could make people pretty happy. | ||
| It could make people very happy. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's interesting because he's this total outsider who has paid off the insiders for a long time. | ||
| And now he's in. | ||
| Here's the scary thing in a way. | ||
| If he follows through with just bringing us back from bombing every country, it's like that alone could be a big step. | ||
| And it's like, oh, we needed a fucking crazy motherfucker to do that, to finally say, why are we in all these other countries? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he stopped, I'll say this for him, he was already basic, well, okay, protesters and him stopped the TPP, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the fucking largest corporate coup that's ever been devised, and basically, you know, he said he wasn't going to sign it. | ||
| Now, here's the thing, he's not, he's going to create a new trade deal, so it's going to be awful. | ||
| He's going to put that forward, so it's not like he's done creating havoc in that way, but the fact that the TPP is over is a huge step. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's an interesting step. | ||
| And what I was saying earlier that one of the things that a lot of people said that I agree with is that I think him being a populist and him being really interested in public's opinion and what people think about him is actually a good thing. | ||
| Because when certain things he says, like off the cuff, he says shit off the cuff, and then he finds out that it's really a stupid thing to say, he amends what he says. | ||
| And I think that's kind of interesting, because if he starts to talk about some specific set of regulations or rules, and then the public starts freaking out about it, it's very likely he might reconsider if it makes sense. | ||
| Well, this is how he's kind of like a stand-up comic. | ||
| As he was going from speech to speech, basically he would weed out the stuff that wasn't getting a huge reaction, keep the stuff that got a big reaction, and it was just the greatest hits. | ||
| He was just playing the hits. | ||
| He had a strong set. | ||
| But dude, by the end of the election, after all the grab the pussy stuff and after the last debate, he was doing a run of these speeches. | ||
| And I tuned into one of them, and I was like, the guy sounds pretty reasonable right now. | ||
| Right now, in this moment, if you could take this snippet instead of the other snippets, when he's going, the wall just got 10 feet higher! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I said. | |
| Instead of that, take this snippet, and you go, well, this guy's very reasonable. | ||
| He's talking about corruption. | ||
| He's talking about the deep-seated red tape that's almost impossible to remove because it's an ecosystem. | ||
| And all these people, they've been feeding off of each other, and the bureaucracy roots run deep, and you just got to pull it out. | ||
| You got to drain the swamp. | ||
| I totally agree with all that. | ||
| The problem is now you look at his cabinet, he's grabbing the same swamp things. | ||
| He's grabbing all these billionaires. | ||
| Well, billionaires, but he's putting the swamp things back. | ||
| He's talking about Petraeus and all these assholes. | ||
| I don't know who he ended up going with for Treasury Secretary, but he was talking about Jamie Dimon for a while, the fucking head of Citibank, I mean, sorry, JPMorgan Chase, that was behind the... | ||
| The collapse behind what created Occupy. | ||
| He's putting the swamp things back in the swamp. | ||
| He's drained it, and now he's putting them back. | ||
| What was he trying to put Petraeus in for? | ||
| Um, had a defense, right? | ||
| That's an interesting choice. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You might want to verify that. | ||
| The Petraeus thing is fascinating because Petraeus didn't do anything that was really that awful. | ||
| He had an affair. | ||
| Well, he leaked information. | ||
| Right, but what did he do? | ||
| He leaked information to his girlfriend that he was dating, right? | ||
| And then she wrote a book with it. | ||
| How heavy was it? | ||
| Like, what was the information? | ||
| I don't know what the information was. | ||
| Was it top secret? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Uh, Secretary of State, David Petraeus. | ||
| Supporters make their cause. | ||
| He was looking for. | ||
| Yeah, he's an interesting case because he's a case of the FBI and the CIA don't like each other that much. | ||
| And that's where this came from. | ||
| This is what's so fascinating about it. | ||
| Petraeus was running the CIA. The FBI does an investigation on the CIA because Petraeus is banging this chick and she's crazy and she likes to send crazy emails to people. | ||
| He was banging some nutty broad. | ||
| And so that's what sunk him. | ||
| This crazy lady was making some noise threatening people. | ||
| She was threatening certain people. | ||
| And then they went, oh, what's going on here? | ||
| And it turns out they're kind of swinger type characters or something. | ||
| Petraeus was hitting it. | ||
| Holla! | ||
| And next thing you know... | ||
| And then Petraeus had an affair with this other woman who was writing an autobiography. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| Now I'm remembering. | ||
| And the autobiography woman and the other lady got into it. | ||
| No, I didn't follow any of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And so the CIA was like, uh, what? | ||
| And then the FBI was like, what the fuck's going on over here? | ||
| And then that's how we wound up getting in trouble. | ||
| That's where it all went down. | ||
| That's why you got stripped. | ||
| I covered him when he... | ||
| So he got into fracking. | ||
| He was the front of a corporation that was pushing fracking around the U.S. Post his removal from the Army? | ||
| Yeah, after that. | ||
| And he had a year or two doing this. | ||
| And so they fly him out to North Dakota where all the fracking's going on. | ||
| And he's introduced by one of the higher-ups in North Dakota government. | ||
| I can't remember what her job was, but, you know, lieutenant governor or something. | ||
| And she introduces him, and she's clearly not very bright, and she introduces him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She goes, it's such a privilege to have David Petraeus here. | |
| He's here talking about fracking so that we never have to go overseas to get the oil we need like we did in Iraq. | ||
| And it was like, you're not supposed to admit that we went to get the oil. | ||
| That's part of the secret, right? | ||
| And he goes up and he's just like, thank you for that lovely introduction. | ||
| And I'm like, she just said you went to war for oil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is not supposed to be what you're admitting. | |
| You're supposed to say, hey, we went to war for freedom, right? | ||
| We're giving Iraqis freedom. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoops. | |
| But he's not responsible for her. | ||
| He's probably just being polite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He didn't want to have to correct her. | ||
| Ma'am, we actually went to war for freedom. | ||
| For freedom. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is incorrect. | ||
| I can't continue. | ||
| Yeah, he was teaching at City College. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And did you ever see those protests where he'd walk to his car and they'd be screaming, war criminal, war criminal. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| War criminals. | ||
| I think that these guys need to face that shit. | ||
| They should see people in their driveways yelling at them. | ||
| Yeah, it's real interesting that you could get taken down like him just because you were having an affair. | ||
| They got him out because of that, because of adultery, and because of the top secret clearance stuff, right? | ||
| Well, I think the adultery thing just made him look bad, but it was really the leaking information. | ||
| The leaking to his girlfriend who was writing books, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Isn't it funny that the most powerful military people are still just vulnerable to the dick? | ||
| Well, yeah, but here's the thing. | ||
| He could have been... | ||
| The dick pillow talk, yeah. | ||
| He could have been having affairs all over the place. | ||
| No one would have tried to stop him because he's top of the military. | ||
| But once you start leaking the information, then things change. | ||
| Hey, what was your opinion of that journalist that wound up allegedly committing suicide by driving his car head-on into a tree? | ||
| Remember Michael... | ||
| Yeah, Hastings. | ||
| Hastings. | ||
| Hastings, yeah. | ||
| What did you think about that? | ||
| I think that there's a lot of evidence that he was probably taken out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dun, dun, dun! | |
| Lee Camp's got the right idea. | ||
| They've been doing this since the 1960s. | ||
| You really think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone? | ||
| Sorry for that, folks. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| So we know he emailed, and by the way, it's fucking sad and horrific. | ||
| Whether he was taken out or not taken out, it's fucking horrific. | ||
| Because he was such an amazing reporter, an amazing dude. | ||
| Let's talk about what he did. | ||
| Because he wrote the story for Rolling Stones. | ||
| For Rolling Stone about Petraeus and about some of those guys. | ||
| It was actually another general, too. | ||
| And there was something that the general had said, like in some way mocking the president, and he printed that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it set off this whole chain of events, and that guy wound up stepping down. | ||
| And people were furious at him for making this guy step down when he was embedded. | ||
| He was embedded for an extended period of time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he was only supposed to be there for a short amount of time, and then he stayed for a longer time because, like, something had happened, they couldn't get him out of there. | ||
| But he did the right thing, which is you're not supposed to become best buddies with these guys. | ||
| You're supposed to keep being a legitimate reporter, and most people embedded don't. | ||
| They become friends with him and... | ||
| But here's the thing a lot of people don't know is he sent an email to BuzzFeed, that's where he was working at the time, right? | ||
| Saying, hey, I'm on to something big. | ||
| You might not hear from me for a while. | ||
| If the FBI shows up to the offices, tell them you need a lawyer and don't talk to them. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So that email goes out like, it's like 24 hours or something before his car explodes in a fiery mess here in LA. And it seems like there definitely could have been hacking of the, you know, he was going 100 miles an hour. | ||
| Now, I've also, you know, heard some people saying he was into some wild stuff and wild driving, but I don't know. | ||
| Well, they definitely found meth in his system, allegedly according to the coroner, who was absolutely not paid off. | ||
| Yes, but if you read the full coroner's report, it says not at a level that would have impaired driving. | ||
| It's like a trace of some stuff. | ||
| Of meth. | ||
| Yeah, but what I was going to say was that I think, correct me if I'm wrong, I think if you take Adderall, and you take a lot of Adderall in particular, I think that has almost the exact same chemicals as meth, right? | ||
| Wouldn't you test positive for meth if you were taking a lot of Adderall? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Please look that up, Jamie. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Let's just guess. | ||
| Let's play a game. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| Do you think you test positive for meth if you're taking Adderall? | ||
| I think that you could test positive for meth if there's probably certain other chemicals in your system unrelated to meth, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| The urinalysis test for any and all amphetamines and methamphetamine is just one derivative. | ||
| Similarly, Adderall is a combination drug comprised of two amphetamine salts. | ||
| Dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine. | ||
| Any of the three will show positive for amphetamines in a urine drug test. | ||
| Well done. | ||
| Well done. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Joe Rogan, everybody. | ||
| Adderall's meth. | ||
| So he could have been just taking Adderall, which is super common amongst writers. | ||
| When you have a deadline, you have to bang out something, you're exhausted. | ||
| I mean, it is almost mandatory amongst a lot of writers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but so, I mean, and even so, it's like trace amounts, wouldn't have impaired driving, and he's going 100 miles an hour, and these cars are, the car he was in had a hackable computer. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, they can do it now, for sure. | ||
| They can do it. | ||
| I mean, that's what we were talking about previously, all these autonomous cars. | ||
| There's a lot of cars now, like the Tesla, where you can get on the road, and you could press a button and take your fucking hands off the wheel, and the navigation system drives the car, 100%. | ||
| My buddy texted me from his fucking car. | ||
| He's like sitting there texting me while he's driving. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So this is a car right now today that can do that. | ||
| So if the car can do that... | ||
| So there's no requirement that you keep looking at the road? | ||
| Well, you're supposed to actually have your hands on the wheel, but you don't have to. | ||
| The BMW 7 Series apparently has a very similar technology, but you have to hold on to the wheel. | ||
| It'll do all the driving. | ||
| It'll do all the braking, do all the acceleration, but it wants your hands on the wheel just in case some shit goes down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, please pay attention as much as possible. | ||
| We're going to make it as safe as possible. | ||
| We're going to do all the work. | ||
| But, right here, ten and two. | ||
| Ten and two, buddy. | ||
| I wonder who... | ||
| Does the human or the computer win if, like, you were accelerating into a tree? | ||
| Would the computer stop the car? | ||
| Or would it just be like, oh... | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| Humans got it covered. | ||
| Yeah, that's a very good question. | ||
| Yeah, this guy's trying to commit homicide. | ||
| They're asking the question, well, what happened if there's like people crossing the street? | ||
| Would the car hit the people or save the people in the car? | ||
| Which is almost a better question. | ||
| That's a very good question, too. | ||
| Moral judgment calls. | ||
| Like, what do you do if an animal runs in front of your car? | ||
| What does the car do? | ||
| Does the car swirls? | ||
| Look, there's trees to the right, trees to the left, and an animal runs in front of the car. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Well, and if it slams on the brakes, the guy behind you could plow into you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Maybe there's like a size limit. | ||
| Like, if it's a rat, you just kill it. | ||
| But if it's a dog, you slam on the brakes. | ||
| I don't want anybody to lose their dog. | ||
| Maybe it's a cuteness test for the animal. | ||
| Yeah, like if it's a rat, you kill it, but if it's a squirrel, you try to swerve. | ||
| You get really sad if you hit a bunny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| If it's a deer, fuck it. | ||
| But if it's a bunny... | ||
| Have you seen that one where a guy hits a bear? | ||
| He's going like 60 miles an hour? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Have you seen that one? | ||
| The really recent one? | ||
| This guy is driving and he's talking... | ||
| I think he's talking about getting baked too, which is really funny. | ||
| And this fucking bear just jumps out of nowhere. | ||
| I really think he was talking about getting high while it happened. | ||
| So this guy's driving. | ||
| He's accelerating, and as he's driving down the road, this bear just jumps in front of his car. | ||
| He slams into the bear, and the bear literally goes launching through the air. | ||
| And then the bear gets up and runs off into the woods. | ||
| The bear was fine. | ||
| Dude, probably not. | ||
| He probably had massive internal injuries. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Give me the full volume. | ||
| Do it from the beginning. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen. | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna go home and smoke a fucking huge fucking- OH MY GOD! So he was talking about getting baked. | |
| And he just slammed into this bear. | ||
| Dude, the bear is fine! | ||
| No, no, no, that bear's dead. | ||
| The bear ran off! | ||
| No, it hobbled off, but it's gonna die. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's gonna die. | ||
| The impact, like, let's watch it one more time, because I enjoy these things. | ||
| One more time, watch this. | ||
| More volume, please. | ||
| Dude, that is not a fine animal. | ||
| There's no way that animal's fine. | ||
| Bears are pretty tough. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Bears are pretty tough. | ||
| I would imagine that thing's dead. | ||
| I would imagine you're dealing with massive internal hemorrhages. | ||
| He just slammed into that thing and went flying. | ||
| I mean, how many feet do you think it went? | ||
| Let's see the impact one more time, please. | ||
| Dude, it just rolls. | ||
| One more time. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God! | |
| It's amazing that it can walk after that. | ||
| Look. | ||
| It hits the ground. | ||
| It gets up and starts hobbling off into the woods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| You're gonna make this your ringtone, aren't you? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm Let's Go Champ. | ||
| Let's Go Champ's my ringtone. | ||
| Man, that's crazy. | ||
| I'm gonna go home and smoke, and oh my god! | ||
| But that is obviously an animal that your car would stop for. | ||
| It's a big-ass animal. | ||
| And does it, so the car just assumes there's not a Mack truck behind you that's just gonna drive over you? | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it doesn't make judgment calls. | ||
| And you can make the wrong one, and maybe its calculations will be more accurate than yours. | ||
| But maybe it'll just be going slower in the first place, so that won't be as much of an issue. | ||
| Dude, if these cars are going the speed limit, I'm gonna lose my shit. | ||
| If that guy was driving down the road and he was going 10 miles an hour slower, he might have been able to slam on the brakes and avoid that bear. | ||
| I saw this video yesterday, but I thought it was going around because it was new, but this Tesla slams into the back of this van because it doesn't seat at the last second because that car Oh, no. | ||
| And I guess there's some verbiage in that autonomous driving that it may not see parked vehicles on highways or something like that right now. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| So if you're going 60 miles an hour... | ||
| So the computers were watching the moving car and ignored the stopped car. | ||
| They didn't have time to see it or recognize it. | ||
| So there's a bunch of them. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| That's to be expected with some new technology. | ||
| There's no way it's going to come out of the bat. | ||
| And it's going to be out of the bat. | ||
| Off the bat. | ||
| You know what I'm concerned with? | ||
| This goddamn Hyperloop. | ||
| I got questions, Elon Musk. | ||
| I know nothing about the Hyperloop. | ||
| He's putting a goddamn... | ||
| It goes as fast as a jet, but it's on the ground. | ||
| He's putting a goddamn ground jet in place. | ||
| Ground jet! | ||
| It's a ground jet. | ||
| It's a ground jet that he's putting in! | ||
| It's a goddamn ground jet. | ||
| Putting it in our sacred land. | ||
| Why is there not a bullet train across the U.S., though? | ||
| Explain that to me. | ||
| Because people can just decide that Jesus wants them to jump in front of the bullet train. | ||
| If you were at a plane, how much more dangerous would air flight be if any asshole at any point in time could instantly put a telephone pole up right in front of the plane? | ||
| Or a bear. | ||
| Or a bear. | ||
| Plane travel would be so much more fucking dangerous, right? | ||
| If anybody could just randomly decide... | ||
| I mean, most people wouldn't, but if they decided to... | ||
| That's why trains have the cow catchers. | ||
| They knock the cows out of the way. | ||
| Yeah, but does that always work? | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of shit you could put on the track that the train couldn't just knock out of the way. | ||
| He could move some boulders in place. | ||
| He could put some explosives in place. | ||
| Move some boulders? | ||
| Move some boulders. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I seen a guy. | ||
| He just puts dynamite in the hill and he times it right. | ||
| I mean, they fucking for sure could stick something in front of that train that sucks if you hit it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Some sort of a bomb type situation. | ||
| I mean, it's essentially... | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| You gotta have TSA agents every 50 feet across the United States? | ||
| Dude, Amtrak goes along, nobody's trying to stop them. | ||
| Rosary in their hand, glassy-eyed, zombie look, leaps off the top, boom! | ||
| Hits the window. | ||
| You can get them on all sides. | ||
| They can just jump in. | ||
| Still, it's worth it, so it works for a month, and then you plaster a couple guys, and then it works for another month. | ||
| Or you put it all underground, and it starts earthquakes quicker than fracking. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| They were going to do one up to San Francisco. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Going 700 miles an hour, on the ground, and the fucking earth moves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how L.A. has a metro. | ||
| I don't really get how it works. | ||
| Isn't that thing going to collapse the moment there's an earthquake? | ||
| It's really well built. | ||
| But San Francisco goes one better. | ||
| They have the BART system, which goes under the fucking ocean! | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Yes, it goes under the bay! | ||
| You know how I found out? | ||
| I was high as fuck. | ||
| And I was hanging out with the crew at Fear Factor. | ||
| And we decided to go, we were filming in Oakland. | ||
| We decided to go for dinner in San Francisco. | ||
| So we all got together. | ||
| We got on this train. | ||
| And I'm like, why are my ears popping? | ||
| And they go, because we're underneath the bay. | ||
| And I was like, dun dun dun! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| We're underneath Alcatraz. | ||
| I was already super paranoid. | ||
| I was already super duper high on edibles. | ||
| I mean it was like the worst time to underestimate the power of edibles and I was underwater and I was feeling my ears pop. | ||
| There was a real moment where I came downstairs. | ||
| I came downstairs from my hotel room, and I met all my friends in the lobby, and I was just so beyond barbecued that I had this illusion, this hallucination of people being this two-dimensional cutout, like those preview things that you see at the movies. | ||
| We see a two-dimensional cutout of an action figure. | ||
| That's what people were, and then behind that, I would see peeking out their true self. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| I was like poking out from behind there. | ||
| I would just like see them. | ||
| And the problem is you don't know which one to punch. | ||
| Which one do you punch? | ||
| They were all my friends. | ||
| I didn't want to punch them. | ||
| I was just like, are you really? | ||
| Where are you taking me? | ||
| Why are my ears popping? | ||
| That thing moves. | ||
| The ground moves there, and they're under the goddamn ocean. | ||
| San Francisco, it's built on, like, mud. | ||
| It's filled with sharks, surrounded by sharks, and the ground moves. | ||
| It's trying to kill you. | ||
| Sharks are walking down the street. | ||
| It's a mess. | ||
| It's trying to kill you. | ||
| It's trying to kill you. | ||
| A lot of mountain lions up there, too. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Yeah, they eat dogs. | ||
| Dogs and cats. | ||
| Dude, you know what? | ||
| I say good for them. | ||
| Listen, some of nature needs to fucking be winning. | ||
| Some of nature needs to be winning. | ||
| I think it's great. | ||
| Not on my watch, boy. | ||
| I think it should eat a bunch of poodles. | ||
| Yeah, but occasionally they'll get your girlfriend. | ||
| Oh, that's not good. | ||
| Yeah, get joggers. | ||
| They like to go off to joggers, bikers. | ||
| I remember I was hiking once and I saw a sign, beware mountain lions, and the advice on the sign was throw sticks and rocks at it, but not if you have to bend down to get them. | ||
| I was like, what are you walking around with bundles of sticks and rocks? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta be careful because you want to be scary, but you don't want to be challenging. | ||
| It's a very tricky fucking dance you walk on mountain lions. | ||
| It was like, if it attacks, fight back. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I saw a sign recently when I was up in San Francisco. | ||
| I put it up on my Instagram. | ||
| That was the very advice. | ||
| That if you see a mountain lion and a mountain lion attacks you, fight back. | ||
| Like, oh God. | ||
| Can you show me an instructional? | ||
| Can you give me what are the number one best moves? | ||
| Can you imagine how much you'd get laid if you won that fight, though? | ||
| There's a dude in Canada that killed one with a knife. | ||
| He was in his 60s. | ||
| Mountain lion jumped him, and he's like, fuck you. | ||
| Just fucking jabbed it to death. | ||
| That guy's been waiting his whole life for that moment. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe he's just a man. | ||
| Just a man with a knife. | ||
| Maybe he had a giant-ass fucking crocodile Dundee knife. | ||
| Maybe it was that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's just the idea that we're supposed to just let those things run around. | ||
| There's a big protest. | ||
| I think that nature should be winning in some ways. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| It should be eating some dogs. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| They eat dogs. | ||
| The coyotes eat dogs out here or something. | ||
| They do occasionally, yeah. | ||
| They definitely eat little dogs. | ||
| But it's interesting. | ||
| I've been reading this book forever. | ||
| I swear I'll get it done soon, folks. | ||
| It's a Dan Flores book called Coyote America. | ||
| It's actually about a history of the coyotes. | ||
| He's arguing or he's saying that most of what goes on when coyotes kill cats and dogs, they're killing competing predators. | ||
| That's how they look at it. | ||
| They're going to eat the cat and the dog, but really what's going on is they're killing the competitors. | ||
| They're not doing it for food. | ||
| Well, cats kill an exorbitant amount of animals. | ||
| You probably know about that, right? | ||
| Number one killer of birds, I think, is cats. | ||
| Yeah, in America. | ||
| Yeah, feral cats, they don't kill just a little. | ||
| They kill billions of mammals and birds. | ||
| B.I. And people are like, there's no way. | ||
| Yeah, there was a whole article about how these scientists did this long-term study, and it blew them away. | ||
| Once they started doing the calculations, like how many cats there are, how many animals a cat is capable of killing, if the cat's outside, how many animals we'll encounter. | ||
| Well, and that's why it's bullshit when anti-environmentalists are like, oh, the solar panel system is frying birds. | ||
| It fries a minimal number of birds compared to the number cats are taking out. | ||
| Cats are just jacking everything, man. | ||
| Cats are just monsters. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| I also read that if you die in your apartment, dogs will leave you alone, but cats will eat you. | ||
| They eat your face. | ||
| They start with your lips. | ||
| But dogs will leave you alone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cats are... | ||
| Again, I love cats. | ||
| I think they're cool as fuck. | ||
| But they're just designed by nature. | ||
| There's a whole system. | ||
| And cats are at the top of the system. | ||
| The biggest ones... | ||
| Like, you ever seen that video of the crocodile coming out of the water with its mouth open, and the lion goes in the water and stares it down, and the crocodile's like, fuck this. | ||
| A crocodile backed off from a lion. | ||
| There's another video of a, like, regular cat getting a crocodile or alligator to back down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just like a regular house cat being like, eh, eh. | ||
| Oh, it's a bear. | ||
| You've seen the cat swat the bear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| The bear comes to look at the cat. | ||
| The cat hisses and slaps the bear in the nose. | ||
| And the bear's like, all right, all right. | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chill out. | |
| See if I can eat you. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I just don't want to fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I'm just trying to eat you. | ||
| I'm just trying to eat you. | ||
| Just relax a little. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Big cats. | ||
| In our neighborhood. | ||
| There's one in Malibu that they're gonna kill now because it's in the mountains of Malibu and they just got the... | ||
| It's really controversial. | ||
| I've been getting all these tweets about it. | ||
| People are so upset. | ||
| We gotta save this mountain lion. | ||
| A specific one? | ||
| Yeah, they have a radio collar on this fucker. | ||
| They know where he's been and he's slaughtering things up there because there's an alpaca farm He's just flossing his teeth with dog collars. | ||
| He's killed dogs too. | ||
| He's killed a lot of shit, but he's killed a lot of shit recently. | ||
| Like 12 animals or something crazy like that. | ||
| Listen, don't hate the play, I hate the game. | ||
| Mountain lion in Malibu killed... | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| P45, suspected of killing 11 alpacas in a goat. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And he's not doing it. | ||
| He's in two days. | ||
| He's just, in two days, he's done this. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| You gotta have hobbies. | ||
| He's out there jacking shit. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| They should put him in a zoo and let him keep eating things. | ||
| No. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| I would rather kill him than put him in a zoo. | ||
| Not that I want to kill him either. | ||
| I just think he should probably be moved to somewhere where he could have a more fruitful life. | ||
| Take him to Africa. | ||
| Put him out on the savannas. | ||
| It's just not good when he's living around people and he's choosing to kill their pets and livestock. | ||
| Either you're gonna kill him or you're gonna move him. | ||
| Yeah, but we chose to be in his way. | ||
| He has 10 days. | ||
| The permit allows the rancher—it's called a depredation permit. | ||
| They allow the rancher 10 days to search for a P-45 within a 10-mile range of the ranch. | ||
| The rancher may also hire a hunter under the terms of the depredation order. | ||
| See, that's what they do. | ||
| They hire a hunter, and the hunter comes with dogs. | ||
| And the dogs find the mountain lion, because guess what, bitch? | ||
| You're not finding the mountain lion. | ||
| If the mountain lion doesn't want you to find them, you're not finding them. | ||
| Most people that live up there- Wait, even with a tracking device? | ||
| No, you're not going to find him. | ||
| You're going to know where he is, but you won't be able to get near him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's going to know where you are. | ||
| Unless you figure out a way to circle the area where he is and have like a large number of people, you know, like an army in the old timey days that come at each other with spears and then just start moving in. | ||
| But you would have to have so many fucking people, you'd circle an enormous area. | ||
| Because he's going to smell you from a mile away, like literally a mile away. | ||
| They'll run when they smell you. | ||
| He can see you way better than you can see him. | ||
| See, I appreciate that. | ||
| Let him go. | ||
| It's pretty dope, but I don't appreciate it in a zoo. | ||
| I think that's the worst thing you can do to it. | ||
| Well, I don't want him in a zoo, but I also don't want him dead. | ||
| Isn't it more dead to be in a zoo than to give your life to the organisms in the ground like nature intended? | ||
| That was beautiful. | ||
| If you're out there in the wild? | ||
| I mean, if that alpaca-killing monster, that goat-slaying monster just gets shot, the coyotes eat them, everybody eats them, everybody gets off, we're fine. | ||
| No more monsters. | ||
| Well, you know, maybe they'll put him in the zoo and eventually he'll escape and grab a kid or two. | ||
| Did you see that one in the zoo that killed a koala? | ||
| The L.A. zoo? | ||
| Killed a koala? | ||
| No. | ||
| Climbed a fucking barbed wire fence, got into the koala cage, killed a koala. | ||
| Oh, those must look so appetizing after you've been in your cage for years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, I am... | ||
| There's snacks living next door! | ||
| But he's not in a cage, though. | ||
| He's outside. | ||
| Oh, he's outside. | ||
| He's a legit wild mountain lion. | ||
| And he saw this... | ||
| I think it was a koala. | ||
| Was it a koala or a panda? | ||
| Koala? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He saw the things like, I could fucking definitely eat that. | ||
| Dude, he realized, he's like, there's a whole pin of snacks right there. | ||
| So how do I get in here? | ||
| They're so baffled. | ||
| Like, how did he get over the barbed wire? | ||
| He figured out a way to get over the barbed wire. | ||
| They're like velociraptors. | ||
| They figured out how to open door handles. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| What an amazing creation. | ||
| It's just, it's so cool that nature has all these varieties of amazing things that you could kind of pay attention to if you really want to really like spend a day looking at all the wide variety of bizarre animals. | ||
| We were playing a video the other day of a roadrunner that kills and eats a rattlesnake. | ||
| Did you know that roadrunners eat rattlesnakes? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| It's the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life! | ||
| Grab it by the head and then smash its head on rocks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That's nuts. | ||
| Play it for him. | ||
| Play it for him. | ||
| You need to see this. | ||
| You need to see this. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I saw it and I was like, this can't be real. | ||
| Did you see the one where the Roadrunner was chasing, like, bikers on bicycles? | ||
| And it's just, like, going with them for, like, miles. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Look at this bad motherfucker. | ||
| A little more of the video. | ||
| I guess they were in a fight before he got a hold of them. | ||
| Yeah, oh no, they go at it for a while and boom. | ||
| So he gets them by the top of the head. | ||
| Look how he does them in here, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smash! | |
| Dude. | ||
| But look at his eyes. | ||
| That is a fucking dinosaur, man. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| How is he not getting bitten? | ||
| Because he's got a hold of him. | ||
| He's got a hold of his jaw. | ||
| Look what he did to his jaw. | ||
| He figured out a way to bite his top jaw and then smash his head on the rocks. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Just killed it. | ||
| And then he starts eating it. | ||
| Watch when he eats it. | ||
| It's even more bizarre because it's so big. | ||
| That's an amazing creation. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| He's eating this snake. | ||
| He took it down in one bite. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| What a crazy dinosaur-like tiny animal. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Have you ever heard of pterobirds? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pterobirds were like a roadrunner type bird, but nine feet tall. | ||
| Flightless birds that lived in, I think, in the Jurassic. | ||
| Oh, so like pterodactyls, but... | ||
| Yeah, no, it wasn't the Jurassic. | ||
| I think it was somewhere around 15,000, 16,000 years ago. | ||
| Am I wrong about that? | ||
| When did terror birds go extinct? | ||
| It might have been a lot longer. | ||
| It might have been like 100,000 years ago. | ||
| But it wasn't so long ago that there weren't people. | ||
| There were people alive when these things were alive. | ||
| And there were these giant nine-foot predatory birds. | ||
| Well, because dinosaurs are closely related to birds. | ||
| They're basically birds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Jesus, Lee Camp. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Two and a half million years ago? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Before people. | ||
| The fuck am I talking about? | ||
| Who gives me the mic? | ||
| But they should have been here. | ||
| We should bring them back. | ||
| We can do it now, probably. | ||
| Look what they look like. | ||
| Clone them. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Those should be walking around, and then you have fewer people. | ||
| Damn, that was two and a half million years ago? | ||
| So what was 2.5 million years ago? | ||
| Were we like Australopithecus? | ||
| Is that what we were back then? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at that bird. | ||
| The reign of the terror bird. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Gorging on a smorgasbord of plant-eating mammals until these scary birds disappeared about 2.5 million years ago. | ||
| So if you had to guess, what were humans 2.5 million years ago? | ||
| Like hairy little ape things. | ||
| Yeah, little ape things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not that long. | |
| Dude, I bet they were scared of that fucking thing. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's probably why we were scary little ape things. | ||
| Maybe once that thing died off, we came out of the cave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Started getting our shit together. | ||
| Came down from the trees. | ||
| It's weird that that's our logo too, right? | ||
| An eagle. | ||
| That's our mascot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| A flying terror bird. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that how you feel about life right now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you were talking about too many people. | ||
| I'm telling you, you bring back a couple terror birds, you let them loose. | ||
| Fewer people. | ||
| That's not the way to handle it, Lee Camp. | ||
| Because they're going to get you too. | ||
| And they're going to get me. | ||
| If you're out in the Target parking lot. | ||
| See, this is the problem. | ||
| You have kids, so you're worried that Mountain Lion's going to get them. | ||
| I'm worried about my kids, but I'm definitely worried about me too. | ||
| What about you, man? | ||
| Listen, my kids might outrun you, bitch. | ||
| You know how to choke out a Mountain Lion, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not going to work. | |
| It's not going to work. | ||
| Do you think, honestly, do you think there's too many people? | ||
| Do you think it's possible that we could balance it out? | ||
| I think we can balance it out. | ||
| I think if we use technology appropriately, I mean, we throw away 40% of our food. | ||
| Do we really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if we give that 40% away, maybe they'll just keep fucking and having more babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
| And we'll be more doomed. | ||
| Yeah, eventually we'll get there, too. | ||
| Who's they? | ||
| Those other people. | ||
| The others! | ||
| The others! | ||
| What were you pulling up over there, Jamie? | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, it is a weird thing when you look at some place like India that has one-third of the landmass. | ||
| We could live in a sustainable way, but we're not doing it at all. | ||
| And the planet is collapsing under the weight. | ||
| But how would you decide, like, when it comes to overpopulation, without doing the China thing, the one baby thing, which really didn't work at all? | ||
| Well, it kind of fucked up everything. | ||
| What a disaster. | ||
| People throwing babies over bridges. | ||
| Well, not only that, they had, like, 70% men. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, they had some bizarre thing because they wanted more men than women. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, because everyone, the way their culture works is the, you know, the man inherits all the, yeah, they wanted a boy. | ||
| That's not a good thing. | ||
| 70% men? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's a mess. | ||
| That's a lot of sad men. | ||
| How many different continents right now have more than a billion people on them? | ||
| There's India. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| If you had to guess. | ||
| It's a quiz. | ||
| You're a very smart guy, and I want to test your general knowledge. | ||
| It depends on what you're considering a continent, because you've got Eurasia, you've got, you know, we're talking land masses? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot of fucking people. | ||
| Countries? | ||
| It might only be China and India, that have over a billion. | ||
| It's a lot of fucking people. | ||
| It's amazing when you look back just a couple hundred years ago at the numbers of people that were alive. | ||
| Well, population's going like, it's shooting through the roof. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| I mean, I think it was the 1970s, the world population was in like 2 billion range. | ||
| And now it's what, 7? | ||
| 7 billion? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Well, the problem is we've wiped out all the diseases. | ||
| You need some real good diseases running to really, to clear out the underbrush, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think you should say that. | |
| I'm making you uncomfortable. | ||
| We went to the CDC once, me and Duncan Trussell, for this show I was doing, and we talked to all these disease guys. | ||
| You know what's really interesting? | ||
| They're terrified. | ||
| The people that run the CDC, they are legitimately terrified of pandemics. | ||
| Like, legitimately. | ||
| They're like, we're not worried about... | ||
| I'm like, were you guys worried about weaponized diseases and anthrax? | ||
| And they're like, we are worried about regular diseases that just go amok, that just go Spanish flu on people. | ||
| Just start slaughtering massive amounts of people. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yeah, and I think a large reason that they fear that is because of the reuse of antibiotics, and a lot of that is in factory farming. | ||
| Is that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that where they use most of the antibiotics? | ||
| It's like 70% of antibiotics or more than that is used in factory farms. | ||
| They pump these animals full of it because these animals are living on top of each other and each other's shit, and the only way to have them survive is to pump them full of antibiotics. | ||
| And so then that immunity to antibiotics then spreads to us. | ||
| Yeah, that's where the next pandemic will come from, factory farming. | ||
| I was watching this video online yesterday of this girl who is like a vegan activist who had this video about why do we eat turkey on Thanksgiving. | ||
| It's a really well done video. | ||
| It's very smartly edited and very smartly narrated and she starts talking about the turkey industry, but she sets it up really well. | ||
| Like, we just sort of do it. | ||
| Like, why do we eat turkeys? | ||
| And then she takes you to this Mike Rowe episode where they show how they get turkey cum. | ||
| And that all these turkeys are so overbred and fucked up and they're so big so quick they literally can't physically have sex. | ||
| And they can't walk. | ||
| Yeah, so they use artificial insemination. | ||
| And so this guy has to literally... | ||
| Talk sweet to them. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta talk sweet to them. | ||
| They have this turkey's legs clamped down this machine and then he's like touching its prostate and with a tube in its like hole because it has one hole. | ||
| It's sucking it. | ||
| It's sucking it out with a straw. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The turkey's gotta be like, what the fuck is going on? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| He's getting diddled. | ||
| He's cumming. | ||
| This guy has a tube. | ||
| He's sucking the cum out of this turkey's hole, you know, because they have, like, that one sort of universal hole for everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And as he's sucking the cum out of it, he has a glass of bottled water with him, because sometimes it gets in his mouth, so he has to, like, clean it out. | ||
| I'm like, what kind of a fucking job? | ||
| This is the only way you can get this stuff? | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| Turkey rape should be illegal. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| But it's amazing that nobody talks about that, but everybody talks about, like, force-feeding ducks to get Fogwa. | ||
| Like, how'd you guys miss that one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, look what they're doing to that turkey's butt. | ||
| Like, how come you guys, everybody's cool with turkey? | ||
| It's fucking sick. | ||
| And, you know, like, you're talking about, they pump them full of these hormones to make them too big. | ||
| It's like, pigs in factory farming are made so big that they can, like, hardly move. | ||
| And then when they have them, like, they take them out to the, you know, killing floor or whatever, they've never really walked very far. | ||
| Some of them collapse under the, like, stress of, like, walking 10 feet. | ||
| It's just, like, a sick system. | ||
| It's weird, too, because pigs are smart. | ||
| Yeah, emotionally really smart. | ||
| There was a documentary once called My Brother's Keeper. | ||
| It was about these mentally challenged guys that were being put up for murder. | ||
| Did you ever see it? | ||
| It was a long time ago. | ||
| But I remember when I watched it, there was a scene because they were rural farmers and they were being charged with some murder and apparently they were just really mentally slow and incapable of sort of understanding the charges that are being levied against them. | ||
| But when they were running this farm, there was one scene where they had to execute a pig, and the guy pulls out the gun, and he starts going towards the pig, and the pig recognizes the gun and just fucking panics. | ||
| Like, the pig who had been around him all the time and never worried at all saw that gun and freaked the fuck out and just started running and running around, and he's chasing it, and then he shoots it in the head. | ||
| And I remember thinking, whoa, that pig knew. | ||
| Like, that pig knew what the gun was. | ||
| That's a level of intelligence that's super uncomfortable. | ||
| Yep, they're smart. | ||
| They're fucking smart. | ||
| But the problem with pigs is they go wild. | ||
| I thought you were going to say the problem is they're delicious. | ||
| No, I was going to say the real problem with pigs is what do you do with them all? | ||
| Pigs are like super prolific breeders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever see wild pigs? | ||
| No. | ||
| I know they exist. | ||
| Hanging out in the city is too much, buddy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know they exist. | ||
| Yeah, they're all over Texas. | ||
| Texas is so crazy with them. | ||
| It's not nice to call the people of Texas wild pigs. | ||
| That's not what I meant, bro. | ||
| That's too much joke. | ||
| Dude, that's not what I'm saying. | ||
| How does Ted Cruz keep getting elected? | ||
| Tell me about that. | ||
| You understand politics. | ||
| What the fuck's going on there? | ||
| Because he's in the middle of fucking, you know, Texas. | ||
| Yeah, but how do they not even look at him like people should be looking at Jim Baker with his fucking furniture made out of survival food? | ||
| They should be looking at him the same exact way, like, wait a minute, man. | ||
| They absolutely should. | ||
| Anybody who's ever been in a room with Ted Cruz, you just see them, they're like, ugh, that guy. | ||
| Even his own daughter, you remember that video of his daughter being like, ugh. | ||
| Do you know the story about his college roommate, who's like his number one troll now? | ||
| No. | ||
| His college roommate brutalizes him on Twitter. | ||
| His college roommate is really smart. | ||
| And I think he's a screenwriter. | ||
| And he just mocks Ted Cruz so openly on Twitter. | ||
| And he said, in order to think like Ted Cruz, you have to, and he abbreviates it out, like, I should be president. | ||
| So you should have I as president. | ||
| B, P, before everything Ted Cruz says or does. | ||
| Because in his mind, he should be president. | ||
| So before you look at anything that he says, just put in his mind the thought, I should be president first, and then he says these things. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god, that's so good. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| His Twitter page is marvelous. | ||
| It's marvelous. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| And how sad that people are like, damn, if only Ted Cruz had won. | ||
| If only he'd beat Trump. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We could've had a real God-fearing Christian in the White House instead of this orange fella. | |
| Yeah, he was a spooky dude, man. | ||
| Yeah, here's the guy's name. | ||
| Freshman year color. | ||
| Craig Mazin. | ||
| And it's, uh, is it, what is it? | ||
| What is his, um... | ||
| C.L. Mazin. | ||
| C-L-M-A-Z-I-N. What kind of monster? | ||
| He's fucking hilarious. | ||
| Do you saw, I'm sure you saw the video. | ||
| For not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. Getting emails blaming me for not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of a monster do you think I am? | ||
| A really prescient one? | ||
| You think I knew? | ||
| My freshman year college roommate Ted Cruz is gonna be elected senator. | ||
| In case I hadn't made it clear, he's also a huge asshole. | ||
| I think people don't have a right to stimulate their genitals. | ||
| This would be a new belief of his. | ||
| I was his college roommate. | ||
| This would be a new belief of his. | ||
| It's a funny dude. | ||
| He does it really funny. | ||
| But it's, like, Ted Cruz, when they had that video that came out where they were all making that family, like, you know, it was supposed to be sort of a candid moment where the family's all sitting around talking. | ||
| They just keep redoing it, redoing it. | ||
| Did you ever see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-mm. | |
| You never lied? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh, it's wonderful. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| Because they couldn't look like a real family. | ||
| Well, it's all fake. | ||
| One of the things he says is, my mother will pray about me, oftentimes for hours a day. | ||
| And the mom goes like... | ||
| And they have this awkward hug moment where they have to redo it. | ||
| It's so gross. | ||
| Here, play some of this. | ||
| I'm just thinking for a second. | ||
| Who released the unedited? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Yeah, we're still rolling. | ||
| Eleanor, why don't you say something to get him going? | ||
| He sees in people what they may not see in themselves. | ||
| That's his son. | ||
| That's his son? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, he hates his dad. | ||
| Guarantee that kid listens to this podcast. | ||
| What's up, dude? | ||
| Holla. | ||
| Holla at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, when my dad was a scared teenage boy. | |
| Excuse me. | ||
| Listen, when my dad was a scared teenage boy. | ||
| Listen, when my dad was... | ||
| And he has a gift in the way of... | ||
| It was... | ||
| Look at his son. | ||
| His son's thinking. | ||
| This is what his son's thinking. | ||
| Load the round into the chamber. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you okay with the way that was answered? | |
| What would it mean to America to have Ted as a president? | ||
| En Español. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo creo que- I admire my tía Sonia. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I admire you a lot. | |
| I'm proud of you. | ||
| I'm very proud. | ||
| My tía Sonia fought against Castro in Cuba. | ||
| Explain- What the fuck? | ||
| How did he get elected, Senator? | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people out there where all you have to do, Lee Camp, is put on the right uniform. | ||
| I like how you dress. | ||
| And the right voice. | ||
| You have the right kind of hair. | ||
| You have liberal tear hair gel. | ||
| You're doing all the right... | ||
| Do you have an American flag on your lapel? | ||
| You do. | ||
| You have an American flag pin on your lapel. | ||
| Bigger than everyone else's. | ||
| Well, it's distinctive. | ||
| It's a distinctive flag. | ||
| That's all you have to do. | ||
| Have the right... | ||
| Say the right things. | ||
| You have to appeal to the right people. | ||
| He was involved in some sort of a law against... | ||
| Or the enforcing of a law against dildos at one point. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| You never saw that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Wait, wouldn't that mean he can't be senator? | ||
| There's a law against dildos? | ||
| I forget the specifics of the law. | ||
| I don't want people enjoying their sex lives. | ||
| Well, there was a law in place. | ||
| I can't enjoy mine. | ||
| There was some sort of a law in place about sexual novelty devices, like dildos and stuff. | ||
| And he was involved in, I think it was like a crazy law too. | ||
| Like you go to jail for two years or something like that for a dildo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ted Cruz defended a ban on dildos. | ||
| He's holding it up. | ||
| Look at his face like King Kong is coming in his face. | ||
| That's what it looks like right there. | ||
| A ban on dildos. | ||
| Yeah, this was from 2003 to 2008 when he was the Solicitor General. | ||
| So what do they do with like zucchinis and things? | ||
| Do they ban dildo-shaped fruit? | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| You can use anything if you're a girl. | ||
| They're so lucky. | ||
| It says, the case is an important battle concerning privacy and free speech rights. | ||
| In 2004, the companies that owned Austin stores were selling sex toys and a retail distributor of such products challenged the Texas law outlawing the sale and promotion of supposedly obscene devices. | ||
| Under the law, a person who violated the statute could go to jail for up to two years. | ||
| At the time, only three states, Mississippi, Alabama, and Virginia, had similar laws. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Okay, this is what happened. | ||
| A Texas mother who was a sales rep for passion parties was arrested by two undercover cops for selling vibrators and other sex-related goods at a gathering akin to a Tupperware party for sex toys. | ||
| You fucking monsters! | ||
| It's godless! | ||
| There had to be women, by the way. | ||
| Guys would be getting their dick sucked. | ||
| They'd be like, look, let's just cut the shit. | ||
| I got the real thing right here. | ||
| No doubt this had worried businesses peddling such wares. | ||
| The plaintiffs in the sex device case contended that state law violated the right to privacy under the 14th Amendment. | ||
| They argued that many people in Texas use sexual devices as an aspect of their sexual experiences, and they claimed that in some instances one partner couple might... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So anyway, Ted Cruz's team... | ||
| Scroll down so we find what he did. | ||
| You just... | ||
| There you go. | ||
| In 2007, Ted Cruz's legal team working on behalf of then Attorney General Greg Abbott filed a 76-page brief calling on the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit to uphold the lower court's decision and permit the law to stand. | ||
| The Penal Code. | ||
| The Penal Code prohibits the advertisement and sale of dildos, artificial vaginas, and other obscene devices. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| But does not forbid the private use of such devices. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| So they wanted to uphold the law. | ||
| That was a 76-page brief. | ||
| Listen, I feel the same way about this as I do about drugs. | ||
| Whatever you want to put in your body. | ||
| This is, I mean, even more innocuous. | ||
| This doesn't even get you drunk. | ||
| You know, when you stick a dildo in you, you pull it out, you're sober. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| Listen, you don't remember about the dildo mask pair of 76. How the fuck can you file it? | ||
| It could harm a lot of people. | ||
| They should go to jail, all of them, for fraud. | ||
| First of all, it took you 76 pages to figure out whether or not someone should be able to sell dildos. | ||
| I mean, they should go to jail for going against the Constitution. | ||
| Which should be four words. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| Next case. | ||
| Do what you want with your plastic devices. | ||
| Dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's it like working for RT? It's fine. | |
| Is it cool? | ||
| Do you like it? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, it's like, all the shit I say, I can't say on, like, any other network. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They, you know, I was on some of these networks for, like, one guest appearance, and then that was it. | ||
| What show was that? | ||
| Well, you, last time I was on, you played me on Fox News, last time I was on Fox News. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| I was on MSNBC, Dylan Raddigan, the only time they've ever had me on. | ||
| I was on Keith Olbermann, the only time that ever happened, so it's like... | ||
| What happened when you and Keith Olbermann? | ||
| Well, I was a guest host, it wasn't him, but I was Schuster. | ||
| But, uh, Nothing went wrong. | ||
| It's just the stuff I'm saying is not good for corporations. | ||
| I feel like you're a very reasonable guy. | ||
| I feel that way too. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I don't think you're saying anything too crazy. | ||
| So when you're working for RT, they pretty much let you... | ||
| I mean, what kind of editorial control do they have over your content? | ||
| Well, I mean, technically they have editorial control, but I'm not told to say anything I say. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And yeah, no, it's huge freedom. | ||
| And, you know, I think you have RT News, which says on their website, we are the Russian perspective of the world. | ||
| And then you have RT Opinion, which is me, Larry King, Jesse Ventura. | ||
| Larry King. | ||
| Yeah, Chris Hedges. | ||
| In Russia. | ||
| Larry King. | ||
| Chris Hedges? | ||
| Chris Hedges, yeah. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Abby Martin used to be there, obviously. | ||
| And so it's like great voices that it's just like we're doing our opinion thing. | ||
| We're doing the same thing we've been doing for years. | ||
| They try to ship Abby Martin off to fucking Siberia. | ||
| Well, that was hilarious. | ||
| That was such a catastrophe. | ||
| Not just for them, but it was like CNN had her on. | ||
| I went with her to a Piers Morgan interview because they thought she was going to give... | ||
| They thought she was, oh, that she's on our team now. | ||
| And it was like, no, Abby Martin knows what the fuck's going on. | ||
| And she said things they were like, wait, she's going off script. | ||
| This is not what CNN thought she'd say. | ||
| Yeah, then they wanted to bring her to fucking Ukraine. | ||
| Although people think that she got fired from RT because of that, she was there for another year and then left on her own accord. | ||
| It is kind of crazy that they were thinking they could just make her go there, though. | ||
| Well, that was funny. | ||
| She woke up that morning and they had announced she was going to go tour Crimea without telling her. | ||
| And she was like, what? | ||
| She was like, the fuck I am. | ||
| The fuck I am. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| Could you imagine if you got up and you had heard that the government of Russia had determined that you were going to visit a war zone? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And I don't know whether it was just a PR person thought it'd be a good move. | ||
| I have no idea what happened. | ||
| I bet it came from the top. | ||
| I don't think Putin spends his time. | ||
| I bet he was in the middle of a Botox session. | ||
| He was like, his mouth was numb. | ||
| He was yelling out, bring her hair! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Back out of here! | |
| He's getting Botox. | ||
| Somebody needs to tell him to stop that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
| It's too fucking rugged for Botox. | ||
| Let's let it go, dude. | ||
| I was thinking a lot of the latest Brad Pitt thing. | ||
| I was wondering if there was some Botox involved. | ||
| Brad Pitt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brad Pitt was hanging out with Putin? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I saw Allied. | ||
| It's actually a great movie. | ||
| Oh, his new movie? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You see some Botox in Brad? | ||
| He just... | ||
| The wrinkles aren't there. | ||
| Something's going on. | ||
| Something fishy going on. | ||
| Maybe Angelina Jolie's just got it that good. | ||
| Just gives it to you. | ||
| Stay young. | ||
| They use that CGI stuff for a lot of people now, when they're in Hollywood movies. | ||
| Do they use it throughout the whole movie? | ||
| Yeah, in lots of cases. | ||
| I thought it might look like that. | ||
| Well, maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Well, they did that for sure with Westworld, with Anthony Hopkins. | ||
| Spoiler alert, there's one scene where they show Anthony Hopkins back in the day, and they have him as, you know, maybe a man in his 50s instead of in his 60s, and they do a really subtle job of CGI-ing, and it looks great. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| How far are we from just, like, dead actors being in movies? | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| Tupac is touring. | ||
| That's true, the hologram tour. | ||
| Yeah, I think they're going to have almost... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's amazing what they did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you make him skinnier, too? | ||
| Well, they had him not just at this stage, either, by the way. | ||
| They had him in more than one stage. | ||
| They had him in a slightly older stage, as well. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| And do you think the acting, the scenes, the body, do they get a different actor to act scenes? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Pretty sure, yeah. | ||
| It would be a different actor, and they just put a different face on him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember when they did that with the Sopranos, and it was terrible? | ||
| No. | ||
| The mom died, and then they did one last scene with the mom, and you're like, what in the fuck led you to think that we would accept this? | ||
| It was so bad! | ||
| It was so bad, and they only had her in there for a moment, but it was like somebody else's body, and her head was moving weird, and it's just like, look, here it goes, watch. | ||
| Here, play it, play it. | ||
| Give us some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, how's it going? | |
| What do you care? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Out of sight, out of mind. | |
| Put some books on tape, uh... | ||
| Since you say you can't concentrate to read. | ||
| I wish the Lord would take me now. | ||
| Well, they're just using clips from shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, man, I thought there was a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I'm confused. | ||
| No. | ||
| Maybe later. | ||
| I don't think this is the same scene. | ||
| I think, yeah, those were just clips they had stashed. | ||
| Yeah, that's not the same scene. | ||
| Why don't you Google, what was the mom's name? | ||
| Fake CGI mom in The Sopranos. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| This is what came up. | ||
| It says it happened. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| But this is just a clip that pops up. | ||
| Man, when I saw it, I could have swore they had somebody else's head. | ||
| Six insane attempts to make movies starring dead movie stars. | ||
| Is that the next thing? | ||
| During The Sopranos. | ||
| Death of Olivia Soprano is the last time you see whatever with poor CGI. That didn't look that bad though. | ||
| Maybe it's later in the clip. | ||
| Maybe it's just because we're looking at... | ||
| Maybe it's later in the clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe they were showing her originally. | ||
| Eh. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| We lost Gandolfini, bro. | ||
| That's rough. | ||
| That's a rough loss. | ||
| Okay, let's just let it go. | ||
| So, you hear that? | ||
| That's the cops. | ||
| We've called them on you. | ||
| We've decided you're a little too divisive for Trump's America. | ||
| Speaking of the cops, there is a story going on right now you guys might be interested in. | ||
| Remember the shooting of Walter Scott was his name where the gun was planted on the ground by the cop after he was shot in the back? | ||
| You look like a guy who has to pee. | ||
| You okay? | ||
| No, I'll be alright. | ||
| No, just ears are hurting. | ||
| The case is going on right now and I guess they almost have a hung jury. | ||
| Like, it's... | ||
| The judge is telling them to go back and deliberate and figure out how they can handle it, but they're trying to get out of it. | ||
| So this is the one where the guy shot the guy as he was running away and then threw a gun on the ground. | ||
| And you can see it clearly. | ||
| And there, like, 55 witnesses gave testimony in the case. | ||
| What is there to deliberate on? | ||
| We'll find out shortly. | ||
| They fucking shot the guy in the back. | ||
| We watched it on video. | ||
| And not only that, planted a gun. | ||
| And then dropped the gun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scary. | |
| Dude, that's the thing. | ||
| If the cops want us to respect them, they've got to go after bad cops. | ||
| They never fucking do it. | ||
| All these guys get off. | ||
| Yeah, they have this... | ||
| Well, I mean, some cops they go after, like that one woman who shot that guy. | ||
| Remember, he got tasered, then she shot him on the highway. | ||
| He turned around, he wasn't listening to them. | ||
| He went and got back into his car. | ||
| They said he was on PCP. Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What I had heard from someone in the tactical community was that she made the gigantic error of keeping her finger on the trigger and that she wasn't doing anything. | ||
| You're supposed to have total finger off the trigger because when the guy got tasered by the other gentleman, the other cop, she reacted to it and pulled the trigger. | ||
| This guy in the tactical community said it happens all the time. | ||
| He said that's why you have to have trigger control because you don't even realize you're doing it because you're reacting to a violent moment. | ||
| It's just your muscles crunching up. | ||
| You have your finger on the trigger and then something violent happens and you just do that and you shoot him. | ||
| And that's what happened according to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I could totally see that. | ||
| I could see that, yeah. | ||
| Dude, fuck that job, Lee Kemp. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I think they're told that guns are... | ||
| that pulling out the gun is gonna solve the situation usually, and it's fucking... | ||
| it makes it worse half the time. | ||
| Half the time. | ||
| What about the other times? | ||
| Perfect? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The other half? | |
| Fucking yeah, shoot away. | ||
| Bang, bang, bang. | ||
| It's like you leave it up to them to decide when's when. | ||
| When you do your show on RT, do they have guidelines for you? | ||
| How much control do you have over what kind of stuff you do? | ||
| A producer do you have to work with? | ||
| No, we have a meeting with the news director once a week, but I write all my own stuff, and it's really pretty cool. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| What other network could give you that kind of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Freedom. | |
| And here's the thing, though, is, you know, I just figure, like, the one thing I actually do just kind of avoid intentionally is saying nice things about Russia, because I know everyone's going to think I was put up to it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I haven't been, but I just know that's what people would accuse me of. | ||
| Do you find it amazing, when you look around at 2016, that there is a country like Korea? | ||
| Where you're completely divided, and one side is kind of American-like. | ||
| One side's South Korea, and then the other side is an insane dictatorship. | ||
| And they live right next door, and they look alike, and they were once one country. | ||
| And this is how it could go bad, and this is how it can go good. | ||
| I think it's a... | ||
| Fucking major problem in the way we discuss these things, the way we talk to each other, the way we view the world, that we start to think of people as their leader. | ||
| People thought all Americans were George Bush. | ||
| People think all Russians are Putin. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's the leaders that are fucking crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, if you go fucking chat with a Russian guy, you're gonna love the dude. | ||
| Like, probably. | ||
| Like, who knows? | ||
| It's like, everybody around the world, we're not our leaders. | ||
| We're not, you know, the Brits aren't their crazy leader, and the Australians aren't their crazy leader, and it's like, people are their own people. | ||
| Like, Yeah, that's one of the reasons why having a president in the first place is kind of ridiculous. | ||
| Having one alpha person, male or female, running the whole show is a figurehead. | ||
| It's kind of preposterous. | ||
| It's bizarre that we still do it, but it's even more bizarre that someone can still pull off a dictatorship. | ||
| How does Korea end? | ||
| That's the big one. | ||
| How does North Korea end? | ||
| How does that ever resolve itself? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| They're so deep in 2016, so locked in. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| People don't want to think that it could ever happen here. | ||
| It might not. | ||
| It absolutely could happen. | ||
| And the other thing is, in a certain way, it's the best kind of slavery is where you don't know you're a slave. | ||
| So if you spend your whole life trying to work off student debt and jobs you hate, it's the best kind of slave you don't know you're a slave. | ||
| Cut to headline says, Lee Camp says, Korea is better than America. | ||
| No, I am not saying that. | ||
| Korea's fucking awful. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Lee Camp points to different type of slavery that makes America worse. | ||
| America's worse than everywhere. | ||
| No. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| God, Korea's the worst. | ||
| Well, Russia's a little spooky. | ||
| Putin's a little spooky. | ||
| Dude's jacking people. | ||
| Dude's jacking people. | ||
| He's a gangster. | ||
| I mean, allegedly. | ||
| We're blowing people up. | ||
| Yeah, we're doing that too. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| I just know you can't talk about it probably right now. | ||
| I made you uncomfortable. | ||
| Should've talked about something better. | ||
| China. | ||
| China's fucked up, right bro? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I said China's fucked up, right, bro? | ||
| I don't know much about China either. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| It's just amazing how... | ||
| I couldn't even tell you... | ||
| I shouldn't admit this. | ||
| I couldn't even tell you China's leader right now. | ||
| They have a leader? | ||
| China's president. | ||
| Would you think it would be a president or would it be an emperor? | ||
| No, they don't have an emperor anymore. | ||
| No, it's a president, but I don't know his name. | ||
| Well, what does Canada have again? | ||
| They have a... | ||
| What do they have? | ||
| Prime Minister. | ||
| See, that's so fucking high and tauty. | ||
| Trudeau. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the dude. | ||
| China, president. | ||
| Xi Jinping. | ||
| Is that how you say it? | ||
| Xi? | ||
| Xi Jinping? | ||
| I think it's Xi. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He looks trustworthy. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| I like what he's doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's smiling. | |
| He's smiling there. | ||
| Doing a good job over there. | ||
| Imagine running a billion people. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That's a crazy country, man. | ||
| Have you seen the cities? | ||
| Have you been to China? | ||
| No, I have not. | ||
| Have you seen the cities that they recreate in China? | ||
| Well, the ghost cities. | ||
| Oh, and the recreate. | ||
| Yeah, these are two separate things. | ||
| But yeah, they recreate where it's just like Paris, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People just go there for a honeymoon and everything's empty. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| They recreate the whole city! | ||
| It's nuts! | ||
| And part of the reason they do that is because they have these ghost cities, and it's because GDP measures production, partially, and so to keep their GDP up, they just build ghost cities. | ||
| Fucking no one lives there. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Vice did a thing on it. | ||
| Now, as a comic who also has a show, and you're this sort of observer of the world, do you have to look at the world more than you would like? | ||
| Do I have to look at the world? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| Like all the crazy chaos that you have to kind of focus on, when you're doing a show and doing stand-up. | ||
| I view my... | ||
| Like, because I'm... | ||
| I've always focused on America, just simply because I'm an American in America, talking about American issues, and I don't, honestly, I'm not educated well on world issues. | ||
| Like I said, I couldn't tell you certain leaders of countries. | ||
| And so to me, it comes from a place of ignorance. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I don't know if I want to rant and rave about something I don't know the truth about. | ||
| And so I definitely stick to the American issues. | ||
| But in terms of having to focus on the chaos, dude, it can get depressing to focus on all the chaos, to focus on the fucking protesters being brutalized in Standing Rock. | ||
| It gets fucking exhausting. | ||
| Do you throw in the occasional cute kitten story to make things better? | ||
| Oh yeah, of course. | ||
| What can you do? | ||
| You gotta throw in kittens. | ||
| Isn't that a weird thing about the news, though? | ||
| I did one where I literally just showed puppy dogs over my shoulder as I talked about it, just to chill people out. | ||
| Do you feel a responsibility to chill people off? | ||
| All of a sudden, this has become an interview. | ||
| I try not to do those. | ||
| But I am curious about what it's like to put together a show like yours. | ||
| Yeah, every week. | ||
| Every week. | ||
| Do you feel any sort of responsibility for your content? | ||
| Do you have a platform? | ||
| I feel a responsibility to not be too depressing, but not per story. | ||
| So, like, I'll cover fucking depressing shit, but I do feel a responsibility, like, in the sense of I don't think people are going to keep watching, nor will they feel active to create change if they're just like, ah, it's all fucked, fuck it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, so I do try not to get too much on that side of things. | ||
| That's a logical but super depressing perspective that it's all fucked, fuck it. | ||
| That's logical. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I know why you would think that way, but god damn. | ||
| Oh, I think there's a lot of people that think that way. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That give up. | ||
| They just decided I'm not voting. | ||
| There's a guy that I really respect. | ||
| He's got this Psychedelic Salon podcast. | ||
| His name is Lorenzo. | ||
| He's been on this podcast before. | ||
| Really interesting guy. | ||
| He runs this amazing podcast that has all these psychedelic speakers like Terrence McKenna and Alan Watts and all these really interesting people with audio recordings of them giving lectures and stuff. | ||
| Timothy Leary. | ||
| And he went on this rant. | ||
| He's like, I don't buy into any of it anymore and I'm tired of it. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| He's like, I'm tired of being disappointed. | ||
| I'm going to live my life and I'm not voting anymore. | ||
| And part of you goes, oh man, you're part of the problem. | ||
| But part of you goes, hey man, that's your right. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You just want to live. | ||
| Well, and especially with people, like you said earlier, you know, working three jobs trying to feed the fucking family. | ||
| It's like, of course they don't have time to give a shit about five states over. | ||
| These people are being brutalized. | ||
| Yeah, it's too hard. | ||
| It's too hard to think about those people in North Dakota. | ||
| You don't know them. | ||
| But we have also created a culture that is distinctly good at getting people to ignore what really matters. | ||
| We're just under a swamp of bullshit to actually pay attention to important stories. | ||
| Do you think that that is by design? | ||
| Or do you think that that is just what we're paying attention to? | ||
| Like we pay attention to nonsense, celebrity gossip stuff, like Brad Pitt and Angelina getting divorced? | ||
| I think it's a combination of by design and just what gets ratings. | ||
| You're going to get more ratings by covering Trump, let's say, or his Twitter war than you are going to get with the details of how these people are having a really hard time because they were kicked out of their home by the banks or whatever. | ||
| So, part of it is ratings, but part of it is by design. | ||
| I mean, the fact that Occupy got very little mainstream media coverage was by design. | ||
| It was like, if we cover this as an important thing, it's gonna grow bigger. | ||
| And we're gonna fuel it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, no shit, man. | |
| Yeah, it's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| It's interesting because the things that we do get obsessed with that are ridiculous, that take up so much of our time, that really mean nothing, you know, when you look at all the stuff that we do ignore, you know, like the guy that got iced that was under FBI care, that never gets talked about, whether or not you agree with whether you should have shot him or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're allowed to execute people now? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that what's going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That might be a big issue. | ||
| We should probably discuss it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's just one, right? | ||
| There's a million different stories. | ||
| It's amazing that the Standing Rock stories become as big as it is, really. | ||
| That and Bernie Sanders and Black Lives Matter, it's like, the only reason, and you know, I'm not saying everybody's gotta love Bernie or agree with all that shit, but I'm saying the fact that those got as big as they are, it's all because of citizen journalism and social media and all that stuff. | ||
| The internet. | ||
| The ability to make your own news site. | ||
| I mean, news sites, all you need is a website. | ||
| The gatekeepers are gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not only are they gone, but the amount of people that pay attention to certain alternative media sources far exceeds what you get in a daily episode of The Bill O'Reilly Show. | ||
| How many millions of people do you think listen to Bill O'Reilly? | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| I don't even want to know. | ||
| I would like to know. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| It's going to make me sad. | ||
| I might have been off by saying him. | ||
| Does he get 2 million viewers a show? | ||
| Do you think he gets 2 million viewers a show, Jamie? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I say yes. | ||
| I say he gets more than 2 million a show. | ||
| That's kind of confidence I have. | ||
| How much are we betting? | ||
| 2.2. | ||
| How much are we betting? | ||
| I'll bet you five American dollars. | ||
| Did you hear about the vegan five dollar thing in England? | ||
| They came out with a new bank note and it's using animal fat. | ||
| Vegans are freaking out and demanding a vegan note. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| They got a good point. | ||
| I talked about this in my stand-up last night. | ||
| A lot of dryer sheets have animal fat on them. | ||
| And so if you're a vegan, that's fucking not cool. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The dryer sheets? | ||
| Those fucking cling-free ones that make you smell so good? | ||
| Snuggles is a psychopath. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's got rendered up beings inside of it. | |
| What did we find out on Bill O'Reilly? | ||
| Uh, article from earlier this year says he averaged about 3 million. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bunch of scared old people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look out for Mexicans! | |
| Just yelling at the screen. | ||
| They're rapists! | ||
| Wonder what the age of the people that watch the show is. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's like 50. It's like, yeah. | ||
| Okay, let's get really crazy. | ||
| What's the percentage of them are white? | ||
| Do you think they're going to tell us that? | ||
| All of them, 100%. | ||
| They go through the entire United States. | ||
| There's not a single black guy. | ||
| Like, we heard about a guy in Virginia. | ||
| Quick, let's go! | ||
| Before he shuts it off, they fucking take it to the guy's house. | ||
| There's always one nutty Ben Carson out there. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| There's always that guy. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| This is a black duck hunter. | ||
| They're out there. | ||
| They're fucking out there. | ||
| You're so right. | ||
| Dude, Clarence Thomas hates black people. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Hates them. | ||
| Wow, that's a big statement, sir. | ||
| He's a Supreme Court justice. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| And no one rules in ways that are going to harm black people more than Clarence Thomas. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
| Yeah, he hates them. | ||
| And his wife is, you know, he's never said he hates them, but his wife is, she's one of the heads or head speakers of the Tea Party. | ||
| There's still a Tea Party? | ||
| The tea party certainly fizzled out when Sarah Palin joined up. | ||
| They're like, ah, shit. | ||
| It's like having an open party and that crazy drunk from down the street comes in with a gun like, woo, America, right? | ||
| Like, alright, I'm going home. | ||
| Time to end the party. | ||
| Wait, is there furniture made out of survival food? | ||
| I gotta go. | ||
| I gotta go. | ||
| The Jim Baker survival foods. | ||
| I'd love to see the first time he presented that. | ||
| Listen, things get bad, we start eating the furniture. | ||
| I'd like to see how they decided to sell it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They said, well, what are people going to do with all these gyms? | |
| They've got these big barrels. | ||
| You're selling a lot of barrels. | ||
| What are they going to do with these barrels? | ||
| Well, they'll just put it under the table. | ||
| Where are your feet gonna go, Jim? | ||
| You're gonna eat from a fucking distance away from the table, you goddamn con man! | ||
| Jessica Hahn was right! | ||
| Where are people gonna get planks of wood to go on top of such a size? | ||
| It's the King Arthur's Round Table of survival food. | ||
| Are you a fan of the glorious stand-up days in the 1980s, like the Kinison era? | ||
| Dude, I'm sad. | ||
| When did you start saying it? | ||
| 88. Yeah, I'm sad I missed it. | ||
| Well, I missed... | ||
| I mean, I was kind of an open-miker in the 80s. | ||
| I missed it, for the most part, but I was a fan. | ||
| But that was back when Jim Baker had that gigantic scandal, because he was this big online minister guy, and he was banging his secretary. | ||
| Yeah, Playboy. | ||
| It was Jessica Hahn. | ||
| Playboy revealed it. | ||
| Yeah, and Kenison started banging her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yes. | ||
| After she left... | ||
| Did she know him from his pastor days? | ||
| I do not think so. | ||
| I think he just zoomed in. | ||
| He was attracted to this. | ||
| He knew those nutty Christian swinger types. | ||
| He's like, I know them. | ||
| I've been around them. | ||
| That was a bad Kenneth's impression, by the way. | ||
| And so he started banging her. | ||
| She got fake boobies. | ||
| She posed for one of them. | ||
| Penthouse or something. | ||
| One of the magazines. | ||
| Playboy. | ||
| Good old days. | ||
| Those days were nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just amazing to see Jim Baker still out there rocking it. | |
| Kenison's long gone, but... | ||
| Kenison's dead as fuck. | ||
| Baker's hanging in there. | ||
| Baker's selling food and furniture mixed together. | ||
| Eat your couch! | ||
| We'll be right back! | ||
| Praise Jesus! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fill your couch cushion with steaks. | |
| Enchiladas! | ||
| There's like a scene in that video where he has this girl. | ||
| He's like, you got some Mexican blood and you tell me about these enchiladas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| She's eating this enchilada and it looks like a tampon from a zoo animal. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| She's about to cut into this fucking thing. | ||
| It doesn't look anything remotely appetizing. | ||
| It's a survival enchilada? | ||
| Survival enchilada. | ||
| And he's talking to her. | ||
| He's like, you got some Mexican blood, don't you? | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| God. | ||
| That super deluxe guy who put that video together, he's a beauty. | ||
| He's a beauty. | ||
| He's a gift. | ||
| A gift to all of us here on this planet. | ||
| It's a fucking hilarious video because he just found the most preposterous scenes and edited them in an amazing way where he closes in on his face when he says, like, really nutty shit. | ||
| That guy's still rocking it, man. | ||
| Still got people in the audience. | ||
| Still got people in the audience. | ||
| They're all brain dead, one eye bigger than the other. | ||
| But they're not even just watching at home. | ||
| There's people that are there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I'll make it out to the studio. | |
| Jim's going to give a sermon today about survival furniture. | ||
| Please tell me that studio has a warm-up comic beforehand. | ||
| Hey, ladies and gentlemen! | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to need you to really give it up here. | |
| Have you ever seen one of those guys that does Christian church comedy? | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| Oh, no, but I've heard about it. | ||
| It's a big thing. | ||
| I've never watched it. | ||
| They do enormous venues. | ||
| Enormous. | ||
| 25,000 seat venues. | ||
| And they do church comedy. | ||
| And I'm not kidding. | ||
| They have stand-up comics that do clean Christian comedy and they only perform at these church gatherings. | ||
| God, kill yourself. | ||
| Well, it's a totally different sort of a vibe. | ||
| It's like this agreed upon note that you're going to hit. | ||
| It's like if you were an opera singer. | ||
| It's like, what, we can't play rap? | ||
| No, no, we do opera. | ||
| All right. | ||
| But that's what they're doing. | ||
| They're doing like a form of opera. | ||
| I understand that for you or for me, that would be a horrific proposition. | ||
| But for someone who enjoys that tone, like they hit that fucking Amos and Andy, you know, Andy Griffith fucking... | ||
| Hey, and there's someone that enjoys scooping up the shit behind the elephants at the circus. | ||
| Yeah, look at this guy. | ||
| It's a job for everybody. | ||
| This guy's doing Jesus comedy. | ||
| Wait, this is the... | ||
| Oh, that's the guy with the TV show, right? | ||
| The Browns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's the guy who has the big hot dog rolls in the back of his head. | ||
| Hot dog rolls. | ||
| The back of his neck looks like hot dog rolls. | ||
| That's a pastor. | ||
| Yeah, that's Mr. Brown. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know. | ||
| I always wondered where that family sitcom thing came from. | ||
| That does look like stand-up. | ||
| Let me hear some of this. | ||
| Let me hear if it sounds like stand-up. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| What is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's doing stand-up. | |
| And I know y'all pastor don't do this, but sometimes my pastor starts preaching and I can't understand what he's saying. | ||
| He'll get to preaching and he'll start... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Oh, he's doing stand-up, 100%. | ||
| People are laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need to spit. | |
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| No, he did not. | ||
| And they're bobbing up and down, forward and back. | ||
| It's just, that's another thing. | ||
| Like, it's this agreed upon tune. | ||
| You know, this agreed upon sort of frequency. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| No, yeah, you gotta hit in these certain notes. | ||
| And, you know, we all agree that we're going to, you know... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing about being a gentleman, right? | ||
| Not curse. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| When you're wearing a tie and a suit and nice clothes like that, I expect you to understand a certain etiquette. | ||
| You're not a ragabond. | ||
| You're not a savage. | ||
| You're not some sort of hooligan. | ||
| You know, you're not some dude with fucking high-top Converse on and ripped jeans and fucking dirty shirt. | ||
| No, you're dressed in a way that I could predict your behavior. | ||
| Well, we do the same with a flea of tattoos, right? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| A lot of people think they can predict you. | ||
| Or a pocket watch. | ||
| I have a pocket watch. | ||
| But with a chain? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| From a vest? | ||
| Well, right now I have it hanging out in my pocket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you really? | |
| Let me see your pocket watch. | ||
| I was talking the other day about everyone with a pocket watch is an asshole. | ||
| I'm going to have to amend that. | ||
| I'm an asshole. | ||
| I like you. | ||
| I'm an asshole. | ||
| Come on, you're not an asshole. | ||
| You're a nice guy. | ||
| Let me see your pocket watch. | ||
| Because we looked up one that cost, like, how many millions of dollars? | ||
| Oh, no, this is like, this is $35. | ||
| But it was from, like, the 70s. | ||
| Dude, this is dope. | ||
| All right, change it. | ||
| I'm getting a pocket watch. | ||
| We're going the other way. | ||
| I'm not married to my thoughts, folks, okay? | ||
| You shouldn't be either. | ||
| He doesn't even stick to his beliefs on pocket watches. | ||
| This is dope. | ||
| This really is dope. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Man, that's really cool. | ||
| I mean, obviously, I just have it for fun. | ||
| Yeah, but it's fucking cool. | ||
| It's not right at all. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because you've got to keep winding it. | ||
| Oh, that's weird. | ||
| I forget to wind it. | ||
| How often do you have to wind it? | ||
| Like several hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Every few hours? | ||
| Oh, that's so stupid. | ||
| Why'd you buy a cheap one? | ||
| Why didn't you buy one that actually works? | ||
| Do you want people to know? | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| It works. | ||
| It works. | ||
| I'm a Mumford and Sons video walking around. | ||
| Mumford and Sons video. | ||
| I'm a walking, living, breathing Mumford and Son song. | ||
| So the key is you can only have one of these things. | ||
| Like, if I had the curly mustache too, then you can't have the pocket watch and the curly mustache. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I couldn't have this pocket watch in your hat right now. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| In a vest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm talking shit about it. | ||
| I'm wearing, like Bill Burr says, a little rascal's hat. | ||
| And I have a fanny pack that's real 100% legit. | ||
| Little rascal's hat. | ||
| I'm a little upset at Apple that I had to buy this new little thing that allows me to charge my phone and play music with an actual set of fucking headphones instead of their bullshit proprietary crap. | ||
| Now I got it. | ||
| I got it set up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| So that's your fanny packs filled with those devices? | ||
| And weed and Fear Factor money. | ||
| And Fear Factor money. | ||
| It's just filled with Fear Factor money. | ||
| I just carry on a knot to comfort me. | ||
| Yeah, I did it, but look! | ||
| Look what I got out of it, you fuck! | ||
| Shut up, you would've done it too. | ||
| How much of doing that show was fun? | ||
| Well, I was high every episode. | ||
| So there's always fun things every day. | ||
| And I worked with people that I really loved. | ||
| They were really nice people. | ||
| So you're having a good time. | ||
| I had a great time. | ||
| Because the people that I work with, like all the guys behind the scenes, super, super nice guys. | ||
| And I'm still friends with to this day. | ||
| So there was a lot of fun involved. | ||
| But it wasn't what I wanted to do. | ||
| It was just money. | ||
| So it was moments where it was hilarious. | ||
| And there's moments where I was really touched. | ||
| I cried once when this mom and daughter team won. | ||
| There was a son and father team versus a mother-daughter team, and the son and father team were kind of douchey, and the mother and daughter team were kind of sweet, and then you looked at them, and this was a physical stunt, and the father was kind of in shape, and the kid looked like he was kind of in shape, and you're like, God damn it, these girls, the mom and the daughter, are going to lose. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they really needed the money, and the son was kind of insulting. | ||
| You know, people play the game. | ||
| It's part of it. | ||
| They're encouraged to be insulting. | ||
| But he fucked up. | ||
| And then the mom and daughter won. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And when they won, like, the whole crew was crying. | ||
| Camera people were crying. | ||
| They're like, oh. | ||
| So it actually got real. | ||
| Oh, yeah, because they were crying. | ||
| You know, because, like, oh, my God. | ||
| We won all this fucking money. | ||
| We did it. | ||
| Against the odds. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So... | ||
| Those moments were nice. | ||
| Yeah, I saw you years ago doing stand-up. | ||
| It was probably when Fear Factor had come back the second time or something. | ||
| 2011-ish. | ||
| Yeah, and I just stopped by Comedy Store and was watching it. | ||
| It was fucking hilarious because he did a bit on like, hey, listen, I know. | ||
| If you'd said to me, would you be on TV daring someone to eat a bull penis? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would have said, no, I have no idea what you're talking about. | ||
| Yeah, how is it even possible? | ||
| The joke was that I'm on TV and someone's eating an animal dick. | ||
| And I'm like, hey, you can do more. | ||
| You can get more in there. | ||
| And the people running the show are like, good job. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| The more dick they eat, the better. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| I mean, we really did serve people animal dicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We served elk dick, bull dick, a couple different types of dicks. | ||
| Who was the intern in charge of collecting the dicks? | ||
| Well, it wasn't an intern. | ||
| It was a bee stunt guy. | ||
| There was a couple different ones, but Josh Silberman was one of the guys who did it towards the end, and he was awesome at it. | ||
| He knew his fucking craft. | ||
| That guy knew how to get the most disgusting stuff. | ||
| They all have a twisted sense of humor, too. | ||
| They all have this very bizarre, like, realization of what they're doing, how preposterous it is. | ||
| You know, you're making people bob for cow hearts in a vat of blood. | ||
| Like, that was one of them. | ||
| These people had to bob. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| So they go into, like, a writer's room. | ||
| They're like, what's the grossest thing we can come up with? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some of the stuff was insane. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| We went to a slaughterhouse once. | ||
| That was one of the first times that I ever believed. | ||
| Like, when we went to the slaughterhouse, I was like, I really do believe that places hold a feeling. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, I had never been to a place where, like, who knows how many thousands of animals have died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If not, maybe a million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Maybe even more. | ||
| I don't know how long it had been around for. | ||
| But it was, like, a legit, big-time slaughterhouse. | ||
| Was there slaughtering going on? | ||
| Not what that we saw... | ||
| But very recently because we had to do this scene with blood and when you have blood you have to keep it very cold and you can only keep it that way for a short amount of time because it could get go bad You can get sick from it because these people have to dunk their head into this stuff So they have goggles on and they have to dunk their head in and they're bobbing in this freezing cold blood So your body doesn't want to do it, because it's so goddamn cold. | ||
| I can't imagine the number of lawyers involved in all this. | ||
| Dude, so while this is going on, there's a guy who's about to do the show, and he's outside, and he's talking to himself in the side mirror of a truck. | ||
| He's got one of those side mirrors of the truck, and it's not his truck, but he's the competitor, so he's like, you found a mirror, and he's like, you are a winner. | ||
| You are not a loser. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You will succeed. | |
| You will follow through. | ||
| You will get it done. | ||
| And he's doing all this pep-up stuff, and he's doing little sprints up and down the driveway. | ||
| It's the same thing Ted Cruz's kids say to themselves before they talk to him. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| You will follow through. | ||
| You can talk to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You will get it done. | |
| You will talk to Dad. | ||
| Dad, I'm gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| No! | ||
| Anything else, Lee Camp? | ||
| Anything to add? | ||
| No, that's amazing. | ||
| I heard something about This American Life went into a slaughterhouse, like a pig slaughterhouse, but it was while it was going on. | ||
| And, like, two of them left, like, mid-segment and went and vomited outside, and then, like, yeah, it's madness. | ||
| Well, that's one of those things, like many things in our culture, like prisons that we were talking about before, like how did it get to this point? | ||
| Because we kind of realized it was at this point as adults. | ||
| I mean, do you remember the day that you became aware of factory farming? | ||
| You were probably a grown adult. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we habituate to these things. | ||
| We get used to them. | ||
| We're just accustomed to so many people being in prison. | ||
| It just slowly grows and we slowly accept it. | ||
| We slowly accept the invasion of privacy. | ||
| It used to be that anyone watching your email, people would talk about it. | ||
| They were upset. | ||
| Now it's like everyone assumes. | ||
| And the same thing can be said about factory farming. | ||
| The immediate answer is, well, offer an upper solution. | ||
| There's no solutions. | ||
| What about the, we need the numbers. | ||
| We need the numbers of burgers. | ||
| We need the numbers of chicken. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know, we've really painted ourselves into a strange corner here. | ||
| Well, there's no reason that, you know, a hamburger McDonald's should be cheaper than, like, a thing of broccoli at the store. | ||
| It's like we're just subsidizing this massive meat intake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the corn industry, too. | ||
| That's another dark one. | ||
| Three out of every four products in the grocery store have corn in them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| We're basically just 90% corn now. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that documentary, King Corn, have you seen that? | ||
| No. | ||
| They test their DNA? Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they test the carbon in their DNA, the carbon in their fucking very virtual being, and it's like predominantly corn. | ||
| These guys are, they're doing this documentary and they start off growing their own corn. | ||
| It's really fascinating. | ||
| It's called King Corn. | ||
| We're corn with hats on now. | ||
| A little bit, dude. | ||
| That sugar. | ||
| That corn syrup stuff that's in everything. | ||
| Corn protein. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But meanwhile, corn on the cob is wonderful. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It's like one of those things. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| A good thing can be bad if there's too much of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Everything in moderation. | ||
| Except for moderation. | ||
| You just try and get all of that you can. | ||
| We can't, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| He's here all week. | ||
| Dropping it. | ||
| Dropping the bombs. | ||
| Truth bombs. | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| Where are you doing stand-up where someone can come see you? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I'm touring the country, but we do have a live audience for Redacted tonight in D.C. Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Tonight in D.C., you're flying out. | ||
| You're a fucking animal, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, not tonight in D.C. You're lying to people. | |
| I didn't say tonight. | ||
| You're a politician. | ||
| I didn't say tonight. | ||
| Didn't he say tonight? | ||
| You did say tonight. | ||
| Oh, Redacted Tonight. | ||
| It's the name of the show. | ||
| Oh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Redacted Tonight. | |
| We thought you were saying Redacted. | ||
| Oh, tonight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pause. | |
| Tonight. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| No, every week except for this one. | ||
| Loophole. | ||
| The guy got away on a loophole. | ||
| That slippery politician. | ||
| We have a live audience and people can come if they just, what, email redacted tics at Gmail. | ||
| So you do everything in... | ||
| So RT is in DC. That's where RT was too, right? | ||
| Yeah, RT America's big studios are in DC, yeah. | ||
| What is DC like these days? | ||
| What a weird environment that must be. | ||
| It's a hellhole. | ||
| It's free weed, though. | ||
| It's legal, right? | ||
| Well, it's legal, but you can't be just publicly smoking. | ||
| What do you have to do? | ||
| You have to hide? | ||
| I was talking to someone. | ||
| I was like, what are the rules? | ||
| And they were like, oh, you got to go around the corner. | ||
| The law is you gotta go around the corner? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| You just can't be out on the sidewalk. | ||
| If you had to guess, how long before country-wide legalization? | ||
| Ten years. | ||
| Maybe less. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What makes you think that? | ||
| Well, the states that have legalized it are doing fine. | ||
| They're doing better than fine, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so it's like people realize it's not... | ||
| You just had to get past this propaganda of it's like, destroys lives, it's scary, it's... | ||
| And once you... | ||
| And you're past that. | ||
| What do you think about that Jeff Sessions guy, though, that Trump brought in? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy is old school anti... | ||
| He used one of my favorite ones, good people don't smoke marijuana. | ||
| I'd love to know the list of drugs that Donald Trump has done over the years. | ||
| Salt Coke. | ||
| Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke, Adderall, Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke. | ||
| Do you think he does drugs? | ||
| He doesn't drink, apparently. | ||
| Not anymore, I don't think he does. | ||
| Apparently he doesn't drink. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| Remember when they were accusing him on CNN of doing coke? | ||
| He was potentially doing coke because he was sniffling a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he kept sniffing. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that was just his, like, you know, buffalo brain just... | ||
| Just a bowl. | ||
| Got her with that zinger. | ||
| You'd be in jail. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That was the zinger of the campaign, wasn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's pretty good. | |
| Did you enjoy the whole festivities? | ||
| Did you enjoy the nonsense of it all? | ||
| Were you upset by it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just kind of... | ||
| It's all... | ||
| I did one segment where I took, honestly, it was like three minutes of the two of them talking during the debate, and just every half sentence I would stop it and go, that's not true. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| It's like everything, every word that comes out is somehow a manipulation. | ||
| On both sides. | ||
| On both sides. | ||
| And I just, I was like, this is, I tried to cover it as little as I could. | ||
| I mean, I still covered it a lot, but I tried to avoid it as much as I could, because it's just a fucking sideshow. | ||
| My most frustrating thing of the campaign wasn't just that, because I was aware that there was a lot of things that were being said that weren't true, was that there was very few people doing what you just said. | ||
| Where you were covering it on both sides. | ||
| Saying, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true. | ||
| Like, if you go back and forth from a right-wing show to a left-wing show, it's hard to pay attention. | ||
| It's hard to know what the hell is really going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's two different realities. | ||
| And no one was doing like what you just said you were doing. | ||
| Go over the whole thing. | ||
| Like, hey, this is all crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These people are lying. | ||
| They're wrong. | ||
| They're lying. | ||
| Now what? | ||
| Now what, Lee Kemp? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do we do? | |
| Do we energize Bernie? | ||
| We've got to get him on hormone replacement therapy and keep him alive longer. | ||
| I think you should go get him on a training regimen. | ||
| I want to get him doing deadlifts. | ||
| We've got to get him to fix that posture, too. | ||
| This shit, you can't... | ||
| Nobody wants that. | ||
| I want you to take your thumbs. | ||
| I want you to put it under your chin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every day when you wake up, I want you to sit up straight. | |
| This is very important, Bernie. | ||
| You can't be doing this. | ||
| Listen, this comes from 30 years of trying to change the government. | ||
| I'm so tired. | ||
| It just shrinks you into a diamond. | ||
| Plus, snow shoveling. | ||
| I think what he should do is he should run in four years, but he should say, I'm only going to serve for four years. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Nobody wants that. | ||
| You don't have the endurance and the stamina to go eight, and then Trump's going to come in. | ||
| I've got endurance, I've got a winning attitude, and he's going to win again. | ||
| Trump's like overweight. | ||
| He doesn't have endurance. | ||
| He looks great, though. | ||
| He doesn't look great. | ||
| Whatever cocktail he's on is fucking carrying him through like a champ. | ||
| I'm telling you, look, you could say about his appearance all you want. | ||
| You'd be absolutely correct. | ||
| But he never showed any signs of physical deterioration. | ||
| No, I think he's okay, but he is relatively overweight. | ||
| He's not like a healthy man. | ||
| Definitely not. | ||
| Yeah, no, if I was his friend, I would definitely get him on some sort of an excellent diet. | ||
| I'd be like, there's a way to do this better. | ||
| You know, you'll have even more energy, and you're a goddamn dynamo as it is. | ||
| That was a real concern, too, the Hillary Clinton health concern. | ||
| And when you would bring it up, people would say, you're an asshole for discussing this, and that you're a sexist, or you're enabling in some sort of a way. | ||
| Like, no, these are legitimate concerns. | ||
| She had a stroke. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, and I don't honestly, a lot of it, I don't know the truth of it. | ||
| I shouldn't say she had a stroke. | ||
| She had, excuse me, she fainted. | ||
| She blacked out. | ||
| She had a seizure, fell, and cracked her head. | ||
| That's been confirmed. | ||
| And then she had another seizure, apparently, in 2015 that was discussed during the WikiLeaks tapes. | ||
| And what was the one where Bill Clinton, in an interview, he was like, oh yeah, she has these spells every once in a while. | ||
| Anyway, the point is, I don't know what the truth of every last detail that is, but it was like, they're not talking about that in a legitimate way. | ||
| They're not talking about the fact that Donald Trump won't release his medical records. | ||
| He had one doctor write a five-minute thing and said, oh, it's the healthiest guy that's ever lived. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Biggest dick. | ||
| It's not orange. | ||
| It's a regular color. | ||
| That'd be weird though. | ||
| You can't have your dick a different color from the face. | ||
| If you're gonna go orange, you gotta go all orange. | ||
| All the way down on his toes is orange. | ||
| Except like a little strip down his butthole. | ||
| Like when people like tan on like a spray tanning thing and then do porno. | ||
| That'd be amazing if he had just a really tiny bikini line. | ||
| Do you remember what it would be like if people would sit in a tanning bed? | ||
| Tanning beds have kind of gotten out of favor. | ||
| But one of the things about tanning beds, they would leave weird sort of semi-white spots on your butt because your cheeks kind of compress and so your cheeks touch each other when you're lying flat on that thing. | ||
| So in between your butt cheeks gets pale. | ||
| Unless you're making a real concerted effort to spread your asshole out. | ||
| And sort of hover over that suntan booth for a good solid 20 minutes or how long it takes you. | ||
| I'm sure Donald Trump has people spread his cheeks for him. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| In the tanner. | ||
| They just smooth it all out. | ||
| Listen, get my cheek spreaders! | ||
| Get them in here! | ||
| Get them in! | ||
| I don't think he's using... | ||
| I think it's probably a spray tanning type thing. | ||
| It wasn't. | ||
| Maybe he just drinks a lot of carrot juice and we're just being assholes. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Andy Dick used to do that. | ||
| I've seen people do that. | ||
| They drink so much carrot juice that their skins get orange. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was drinking so much carrot juice that his fingers started getting... | ||
| And he was talking about it. | ||
| It's apparently super common when people do that. | ||
| They drink a tremendous amount of carrot juice. | ||
| It literally will change the color of your skin. | ||
| It didn't look too weird until he brought it up. | ||
| And you're like, oh, wow. | ||
| It wasn't like, dude, are you okay? | ||
| You going orange on us? | ||
| It's a good thing Corn's not blue. | ||
| We'd all be blue. | ||
| It's a good thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a good thing. | |
| Very good thing. | ||
| How do you have time to do your show and do stand-up? | ||
| Is that difficult to do? | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I've only been doing stand-up when I go out to cities and I'll play a theater or something, but I haven't been getting up as much as I would like. | ||
| So you basically just do your show, and does a lot of the subject matter just bleed out in your stand-up? | ||
| Because of working on this stuff, you must find some pretty absurd subjects. | ||
| Yeah, it's all... | ||
| Most of my stand-up comes from stuff from the show, because it's just like, I can't fucking... | ||
| I basically have two TV shows. | ||
| One of them, luckily, is an interview show, so it doesn't fill up as much of my writing time. | ||
| But I've got to write the whole other show every week, and so I just don't have time to write new stand-up. | ||
| So the stand-up usually becomes a stuff that was in the show. | ||
| Are you planning on doing a special or anything anytime soon? | ||
| Well, we just filmed this Redacted Tonight Live, we called it, or whatever, in Laugh Factory, and we're going to air portions of that at the end of December on our YouTube channel, so that'll be a bit of a special. | ||
| Oh, so you did it as stand-up? | ||
| Yeah, it was stand-up. | ||
| Oh, okay, cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, because I passed by the Laugh Factory. | ||
| I put it up on my Instagram the other day. | ||
| I passed by the Laugh Factory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at Lee Camp's got a billboard! | |
| Does that feel weird? | ||
| Driving down and seeing your face? | ||
| It's weird, but here's the thing. | ||
| As you well know, all it means is someone had some money to do that. | ||
| It doesn't really mean anything. | ||
| No, I'm your friend. | ||
| I took a picture of it, man. | ||
| I was impressed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I was like, look at Lee Camp, ballin'. | ||
| You've never, for one of your new albums, you've never done the Laugh Factory billboard? | ||
| No, I've never had the Laugh Factory billboard before. | ||
| You could've. | ||
| One day you'll get there! | ||
| One day! | ||
| Tell people what's the best way to get a hold of you, what's the best way to see your stuff, what's your website. | ||
| Everyone should check out the show at youtube.com slash redacted tonight, but everything else is pretty much LeeCamp.net and at LeeCamp on Twitter. | ||
| And your show's on RT and on YouTube? | ||
| The same exact show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's beautiful. | |
| We put it all, yeah. | ||
| Unlike daily shows, I think we put it all on YouTube. | ||
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| That's very cool. | ||
| So you don't have to have RT to get it? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| These crazy kids that are untethered. | ||
| Untethered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Free. | |
| Free as a bird. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| Free as a terror bird. | ||
| They're out there bit-torrenting. | ||
| Alright, well, that's how you get all your stuff out, LeeCamp.net. | ||
| And when can people see you again? | ||
| When is your next tour date? | ||
| Where are you at? | ||
| Anywhere? | ||
| Next tour date, yes. | ||
| I'm playing like Cleveland and Pittsburgh in the new year, and I have Chapel Hill and D.C. coming up December 9th and 10th. | ||
| Very funny guy. | ||
| Go out and see him. | ||
| Lee Camp, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Love you, Joe. | ||
| Always a pleasure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, man. | |
| Love you as well. | ||
| Folks, we're done for the week. | ||
| Not yet, bitches! | ||
| Tomorrow, Fight Companion. | ||
| Full Onslaught. | ||
| Brian Callen. | ||
| Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Brendan Chubb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Plus, alcohol and marijuana. | |
| Pizzagate. | ||
| Hashtag Pizzagate. |
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