Aug. 9, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:01:04
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Byron Bowers, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Hey, what's going on? | ||
| What's up, brother? | ||
| Good to see you, man. | ||
| Thank you for having me. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| What's the latest and the greatest with Byron? | ||
| You've been traveling all over the place, man. | ||
| Check your Instagram out. | ||
| Man, I just got back from the Dominican Republic a few days ago. | ||
| It was a very interesting experience. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anytime you go somewhere tropical, you're like, man, this place is beautiful. | ||
| And by that third day, you'd be like, man, this is horrible. | ||
| The politics, the way they treat people. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So you see the balance of, you know, everything. | ||
| Especially as, you know, being from where I'm from and being black and what's going on. | ||
| I'm always in exotic places when cops are killing black people. | ||
| So, it pulls you out of the situation and lets you see how, you know, fucked up things are for, like, Haitian people. | ||
| Well, yeah, I mean, pretty much every third world country deals with all kinds of fucked up shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, way worse than we have it here. | ||
| It puts things into perspective. | ||
| Like, I often think, like... | ||
| If the United States wasn't established just a few hundred years ago, if that didn't happen, what would the world be like? | ||
| Would most of the world be like a lot of these countries that you visit where you deal with insane police corruption? | ||
| I've had friends that have been pulled over in Mexico, and the cops basically just straight up tell you, like, do you want to get out of this? | ||
| Give me some fucking money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I had a situation like that coming through TSA, but I didn't realize until they let me go. | ||
| But they held me for a long time. | ||
| Where? | ||
| In Dominican Republic, because I had on a button-up shirt that's denim, like the one I'm wearing now. | ||
| And they was like, take your jacket off. | ||
| And I'm pre-checked. | ||
| So when you become pre-checked, it's like a white privilege. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm not taking off my shirt. | ||
| This is not a jacket. | ||
| This is a shirt. | ||
| So in the Dominican Republic are you doing this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I got on glasses and stuff, and they was like, oh, okay. | ||
| Oh, it's a shirt, huh? | ||
| Come through. | ||
| And as soon as I came through, they was like, this your bag? | ||
| And they started trying to take my cologne. | ||
| Like, yeah, that's flammable. | ||
| You can't take that on a plane. | ||
| Or my umbrella. | ||
| Yeah, you can't take umbrellas on a plane. | ||
| That's a weapon. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| And they just held me there. | ||
| And we just made eye contact with each other. | ||
| I'm like, show me on the chart. | ||
| That's all I kept saying. | ||
| And then after a while, they was like, you know what? | ||
| You can take it. | ||
| So after a while, they just gave up? | ||
| Yeah, they gave up, because I was like, okay, if I check the bag, can I take everything? | ||
| And they was like, yeah. | ||
| So what I did, I unloaded all my bags and started rearranging things so I could put it, so I could check it, and you can make it back to America. | ||
| But once they saw me doing that, and they saw how neat I was, and every time they touched something, I had to put it back a certain way. | ||
| They was like, this is just going to be a waste of time for even us. | ||
| Yeah, but don't they have rules like we have rules as far as how many ounces of liquid and stuff like that you can take on a plane? | ||
| They do, but it made it over there. | ||
| So that's why I was trying to get them to explain to me, like, why exactly? | ||
| Yeah, but it probably made it over there because the people that work at TSA over here are fucking barely paying attention. | ||
| Well, you know, I take it everywhere. | ||
| I take it everywhere. | ||
| How big is your cologne? | ||
| First of all, cologne's stinky, man. | ||
| Where are you wearing that shit for? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I know you disagree with cologne, you know what I mean? | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| Yeah, you disagree. | ||
| It's a political point. | ||
| I disagree with cologne. | ||
| You're more alpha though, you know what I mean? | ||
| You could choke them out with your muscles and I could choke them with the smell. | ||
| Um, okay. | ||
| I'm not exactly sure where to go with that. | ||
| But, so, how big is the cologne? | ||
| Probably like three point something ounces. | ||
| Okay, see, I think you could bring on like four ounces of liquid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that how it works? | ||
| Yep, usually. | ||
| In a toiletry bag? | ||
| Yeah, it was in a toiletry bag. | ||
| Now, mind you, I went from Montreal, too. | ||
| So I went from New York to Montreal, here to the Dominican Republic. | ||
| So this same luggage has been like everywhere. | ||
| Mm. | ||
| So what were you doing down in the Dominican Republic? | ||
| I met up with some friends of mine from college, some African homeboys, and I really hopped in on their trip because they visit the DR a lot, and I wanted to see what it was like. | ||
| And I snorkeled a lot. | ||
| I came back sore. | ||
| But yeah, I did a lot of time in the water. | ||
| Morning, evening, and like late afternoon. | ||
| Well, it's beautiful for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's one of the cool things about those tropical climates. | ||
| The oceans down there are amazing. | ||
| The oceans are amazing. | ||
| Some of the reefs wasn't as, you know, not like when I was in Jamaica or when, like in Hawaii, where everything just comes alive and it looks like a city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Definitely, you do feel like you landed on another planet, to me, and I'm flying, like I'm cruising over the terrain. | ||
| You mean when you're swimming? | ||
| When I swim, yeah. | ||
| Anytime I snorkel, it's that otherworld experience to me. | ||
| Yeah, man, I'm a big fan of the water, but the sharks fuck it up for me. | ||
| I'm just not into getting eaten. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's the thing why sometimes I keep looking around, like, especially if it's not a lot of things in the water. | ||
| But I saw squid. | ||
| That was the most beautiful thing I saw from this trip was just, like, 40 baby squid all lined up in a row that looked like they'd just been born, you know? | ||
| And they were just there. | ||
| And I didn't even know they were squid. | ||
| I thought it was like fish with interesting fans. | ||
| Because it looked like, you know, like a lady just doing her dress like that. | ||
| And when I got close, I realized that I was at the tentacle park. | ||
| And I just locked eyes with them. | ||
| And I was like, oh, this is the most beautiful thing. | ||
| You know Duncan Trussell? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Duncan has this new virtual reality thing. | ||
| It's called the HTV Vive. | ||
| And you put it on, and you actually feel like you're underwater. | ||
| They have this program, I think it's called Deep Blue or something like this, something blue. | ||
| But you put it on, and one of the reality programs that you put on is an ocean one. | ||
| And you're standing at the bottom of this, like... | ||
| Ocean area and these fish swim by and It's it's not a hundred percent realistic because the graphics aren't totally there yet. | ||
| Yeah, but it's like 85 percent realistic That's amazing a whale pulls up to you and you get to look at the whale like you look in its eyes But like I don't know if you ever used any kind of virtual reality I'm pretty new to it, too. | ||
| Yeah, but You get a full 360 degrees. | ||
| Like, you can look down, you can look up, you can look everywhere. | ||
| So this whale, as it's in front of you, you can choose different spots on the whale that you look at. | ||
| You can look at its eyes, you can look at its tail. | ||
| It's fucking fascinating. | ||
| And it lets you know that, you know, within a hundred years from now, probably not even, probably like 20, 20 years from now. | ||
| Oh, this is it? | ||
| Is this the program? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So this is it right here. | ||
| So you stand there and you're looking around like that dude's just looking around with these goggles on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And this is what you're seeing. | ||
| I mean, you're seeing it feels like the actual ocean. | ||
| Yeah, that's basically what it looks and feels like. | ||
| That's beautiful right there. | ||
| It's crazy that that's... | ||
| What is it like? | ||
| 79% of the earth or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we looked it up the other day. | |
| It was over 70% of the earth is water and 95% of that is ocean water. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's almost like how they say our bodies are made up of the same. | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| I think a body is like 60%. | ||
| They used to say it was like 90% water. | ||
| Find out what that is. | ||
| I think the human body is actually like 60% water. | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But I've experienced virtual reality, the one where you can just travel everywhere around the world. | ||
| 65. Average human bodies between 50 and 65% water, averaging around 57 to 60%. | ||
| Average percentage of water in infants is much higher, typically around 75 to 78% water. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Dropping to 65 by one year of age. | ||
| A little water balloons. | ||
| That's probably why the skin gets crazy, like the older we get, the water is dropping in it. | ||
| The water's dropping in it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like they said, the percentage goes down the older you get. | ||
| Oh, man, you're probably just drinking too much. | ||
| Or get wrinkles and stuff like that? | ||
| Yeah, that's actually collagen. | ||
| That's the wrinkle thing, is the elasticity of your skin gives out. | ||
| Your body stops producing collagen correctly. | ||
| But you can mitigate some of that with, like, moisture, and, you know, like, some people use creams and shit like that, but at the end of the day, time wins. | ||
| Time wins. | ||
| I definitely use creams. | ||
| I use creams. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Creams and cologne? | ||
| Yeah, I use lotion. | ||
| All things that stink. | ||
| All things. | ||
| Well, I can't use dyes and perfumes in my lotions. | ||
| How come? | ||
| It dries my skin and I make it break out. | ||
| Perfumes and lotions? | ||
| But you can wear cologne. | ||
| Yeah, I wear cologne. | ||
| Cologne lasts a certain amount of hours. | ||
| And it lands on your skin, so, you know... | ||
| Look at you, you're being a cologne commercial. | ||
| Yeah, it lands on your skin so delicately. | ||
| Have you always worn cologne? | ||
| No, but once I got into it, my mom, like I was raised by my mom, like our sense of smell is just so strong, you know, so it was always fragrance around. | ||
| And to me, that's the first, like, that can alter your mindset or your mode, like when you smell something good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's an anchor. | ||
| It can cause a mental trigger. | ||
| It brings you back to that place. | ||
| Certain smells, like the smell of apple pie. | ||
| If your mom cooked apple pie or something like that, you could smell it and it'll immediately transport you back to that good place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or bad place. | ||
| Or bad place. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| Like, I like, like, sexy smells. | ||
| So, I like to be reminded of something that's pleasant. | ||
| Like, a woman walks by. | ||
| Sexy smells? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so. | ||
| I don't wear, like, hardcore masculine smells. | ||
| I like to smell like a rose. | ||
| You like to smell like a rose? | ||
| I like to smell like something fresh, like that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I'm learning a lot about you, Byron. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| It takes me two hours to pick out my fragrance. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| What? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| It takes you two hours to pick out your fragrance? | ||
| Is this in a day? | ||
| Or like when you go to a fragrance store? | ||
| When I went to the fragrance store, Store. | ||
| So you're that dude just wandering around there touching this one? | ||
| Yeah, smelling it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if I don't get like a small like erection, like a little erection. | ||
| A little erection. | ||
| Yeah, like if it don't turn me on in a sense, then I just, it's not the one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| But you know it. | ||
| Just like, you know, like when you feel the energy of a lady or, you know, whatever you attracted to or the sound of a motor when it goes by, you know what I mean? | ||
| Well, I'm with you on that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they've said that with engines, it actually, like when you hear an engine revving, it actually raises men's testosterone. | ||
| But why? | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| It's like, I don't know. | ||
| Has anybody ever driven a car with pipes, which is rare in California, to have custom pipes? | ||
| You think it's rare? | ||
| Yeah, to be, like, as far as, like, loud and... | ||
| Those fucking things are everywhere. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they crack down on them here. | ||
| It's not like in Georgia. | ||
| Like, I'm from Georgia, where you can get a Honda and put an open exhaust, have a quarter inch, and take the stuff off, you know? | ||
| Yeah, see, that's stupid. | ||
| If you got a Honda. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You shouldn't do that if you have a four-cylinder. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| I did that before, but my friend had a Cobra Mustang 68. And you can hear that car coming down the street. | ||
| But when you hear it in a real car with a real motor, it's almost like a tiger growling or something. | ||
| Or it's just an energy you want to release when you press the gas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So that, it makes you, it just does something to you. | ||
| What's little explosions? | ||
| I mean, it's control explosions, essentially. | ||
| I mean, that's what an engine is, right? | ||
| It's just this steel explosion container. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And all these pistons are in there, and they're all firing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| As much as I know about cars, I really should know more about, like, how engines work. | ||
| Like, I really don't know that much. | ||
| I kind of know there's some, ah, you gotta have camshafts, and you gotta have some cylinders, and there's spark plugs, and ignite some shit, and there's some fire explosions going off. | ||
| I don't really know. | ||
| No, you know more about me when it comes to cars. | ||
| I know the simple. | ||
| Like, fuel, air, and spark gets it going. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The simplicity of it. | ||
| But you're into cars, too. | ||
| You and I have many car conversations. | ||
| I definitely like them, but I can't get into wheel displacements and like offsets and the correct suspension and the steering. | ||
| You don't know about all that stuff? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| I just know what I like, like body shapes and what it feels like. | ||
| But don't you enjoy like what it feels like when you drive them? | ||
| You have a nice car. | ||
| When you drive that thing, it has a certain feel to the way when you turn corners and stuff like that. | ||
| There's a certain responsiveness to it. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I definitely know that, but I can't dial it in. | ||
| I can't put that in a computer and be like, I need my suspension adjusted. | ||
| Should I go with this coilover set or this coilover set? | ||
| Well, that's the beautiful thing about the internet. | ||
| You have a BMW, so you can go to a BMW For them, and then you can say, you know, what is the deal with this year 3 Series? | ||
| Like, what's the best suspension setup, you know, for handling? | ||
| Some people like comfort, some people like handling. | ||
| That's the real trade-off. | ||
| It's because if you really want the car to sit flat around corners, It has to have a little more stiffness to it. | ||
| You have to feel everything a little bit more. | ||
| And I feel that, and I like that. | ||
| Like, I had a 944, an 83, which to me ain't the best, but it was the best car of my own. | ||
| Those Porsches are sweet, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those are underrated cars. | ||
| To be able to feel a car, to feel the road through this, like you're on a boat, is amazing. | ||
| A lot of cars don't give you that feeling. | ||
| The boat feeling. | ||
| Yeah, like you know the street is uneven when you drive it now. | ||
| Instead of just, no matter the flattest, most paved street, You know, you could feel the wave in it. | ||
| Oh, because you must have a pretty stiff suspension, right? | ||
| Yeah, that car came like that, though. | ||
| Yeah, well, those older cars were way more responsive. | ||
| They were way lighter, too. | ||
| Like, if you go to, like, the really older Porsches, like the old 911s, like the long hood models, I think it was like 65 or 64, I think it was, to 73. Those models, they're really light. | ||
| Like, that's a 2,000-pound car a lot of times. | ||
| So you feel everything when you're bumping around those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's true. | |
| It feels more like a go-kart, you know? | ||
| And I was ignorant with mine. | ||
| Like, I had to buy tires for it, and they was like, it's 83, and I'm like, it's 150 horses. | ||
| I take it to the tire place, and they was like, yeah, you need these $150 tires. | ||
| And I'm like, no, fuck that. | ||
| This car has only got 150 horses. | ||
| Let's put some van tires on it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I bought two, like four brand new van tires. | ||
| What's a van tire? | ||
| Like tires that would go on a van. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| Because to me it's just a tire. | ||
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Slid on the freeway a bunch of times, just stopping. | ||
| And wasn't used to not having ABS automatic brakes. | ||
| And every time it would stump the brakes, you know, the car would slide on the freeway. | ||
| But I would stop in enough distance to where it would slide and not hit the car. | ||
| So you had anti-lock brakes? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| I didn't have it. | ||
| What kind of car was this? | ||
| 944. Those didn't have analog brakes? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Not at 83? | ||
| That didn't come until like 86? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Wow. | ||
| And you put van tires on. | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| That's a sacrilege. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| It was. | ||
| It was. | ||
| But you learn lessons, you know? | ||
| You learn lessons. | ||
| Anytime you work on your car, it's cool, but you learn your lessons. | ||
| You learn about torque, applying torque to old cars and plastic pieces breaking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And all type of stuff that, you know what antifreeze tastes like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You know what antifreeze tastes like? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you drinking antifreeze for? | ||
| You don't drink it, but you're having to be working on a leak or changing something and it drips and it gets in your mouth and you're like, oh, I get it. | ||
| It is sweet. | ||
| It's like Kool-Aid almost. | ||
| Does it really taste like wood? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It looks disgusting. | ||
| Antifreeze looks nasty. | ||
| It looks like nuclear fuel or something. | ||
| Yeah, you learn your lessons with cars, you know, while you still can. | ||
| Those old ones, yeah, they're different. | ||
| You can actually work on them. | ||
| You can open up the hood. | ||
| There's stuff you can change. | ||
| You can swap out. | ||
| You can go to Pep Boys or whatever and buy a part. | ||
| New cars, man, you open up the hood and it's just like a computer. | ||
| It's like opening up the back of an iMac or something. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| You have no idea what the fuck's going on there. | ||
| And everything's connected to some sort of computer management system. | ||
| Three in the Beamer is three. | ||
| Three what? | ||
| Three computers. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ignition switch, when you put the key in, talks to this module, reads the key code, and it talks back and allows the car to crank. | ||
| But all that has to go through the main computer also. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I know that because I know coding and I studied engineering to my senior year, and I had to snatch a faulty remote start system out of the beamer when I got it. | ||
| So I had to go under the dash and rewire everything. | ||
| You did all that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, why'd you do that? | ||
| To take it out. | ||
| But did you know what you were doing? | ||
| What made you decide to embark on that? | ||
| That seems like something I would want to take to a dealer. | ||
| Well, I learned how to install car stereos. | ||
| My friend, when I was younger, he used to steal car radios, and he taught me. | ||
| Three basic things to start a radio. | ||
| Just like the cars. | ||
| You know, power, ground. | ||
| You can turn a radio on. | ||
| And the remote wire, which makes it switch on and off. | ||
| But you really don't need a remote wire to test a radio. | ||
| Just like you got a jump-started engine, you know. | ||
| But, you know, you start to learn a pattern of things. | ||
| Just like the universe has patterns. | ||
| When you learn combustion and stuff like that, the pattern is what's important to me. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| No. | ||
| The universe has a pattern. | ||
| Yeah, like the universe, because now I'm on a bigger pattern scale, you know what I mean? | ||
| But, to me, yeah, the universe has a pattern in the way it runs, to me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| When it comes to seasons and things like that. | ||
| The revolution of earth around the sun, you know? | ||
| But, stereos also have that pattern. | ||
| That's an interesting comparison. | ||
| Well, they definitely have, like, whenever you're dealing with electronics, you have to have the power in the ground, and then there's a bunch of other stuff that goes on. | ||
| I installed some stereos when I was younger, you know, but they were easy back then. | ||
| It wasn't that hard. | ||
| You know, it wasn't that complicated. | ||
| You could get to everything pretty easily. | ||
| You could open up the dash pretty easily, pull out the existing stereo, and you just have to figure out where the power is and where the wires connect. | ||
| You tie everything up. | ||
| It wasn't that hard. | ||
| But I would never fuck with a new car. | ||
| Like a new Lexus or something like that? | ||
| Try to take stereo out of one of those things? | ||
| It's more tough, but if I break it down to you like this. | ||
| Coding and stuff is all if-and statements, right? | ||
| If-and. | ||
| If-and. | ||
| So if this, go there. | ||
| If that, go here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ones and zeros. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If it's one, boom, here. | ||
| If it's zero, boom, here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And it's just a bunch of that going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Computing at one time. | ||
| That's the pattern. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's it? | ||
| That's so simple. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's more complicated than that, right? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| But it's a bunch of those all-in-one. | ||
| Well, it's amazing how well these cars work when you really think about it, because, like, I have a Lexus, and I have a key that is actually in my wallet. | ||
| It's a credit card. | ||
| And that's my key. | ||
| So I don't ever take a key. | ||
| I just get in my car and it always knows it's me. | ||
| I come near it. | ||
| The light goes on near the side mirrors. | ||
| Like the side mirrors have like an underside light. | ||
| The light goes on. | ||
| The handle illuminates to let you know you're there. | ||
| It opens for you. | ||
| You get in. | ||
| You just press start and go. | ||
| It's crazy how often it works. | ||
| Like it never fucks up. | ||
| Yeah, and that's cool. | ||
| It is cool, but it's just, when you think about how many different things fail in terms of, like, electronics, you know, like, how many different people's iPhones start fucking up, most cars, especially when it comes to, like, your car, German engineering or Japanese engineering, something like that, they're so fucking reliable. | ||
| I mean, the amount of times that they actually do fuck up is, people complain about it, but it's pretty small in comparison. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Well, I was in school and I learned and studied in 95 when it came to Lexus and Honda. | ||
| The car was pretty much perfect. | ||
| So they had to add features. | ||
| So now you notice where everything is about the features and less about, you know, and it's a cycle of cars having more power and cars saving gas and cars having more power. | ||
| That's just a pattern that's just going to happen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But yeah, it's all about the features now. | ||
| Even with phones, it's all about the features. | ||
| Yeah, well, for sure. | ||
| I mean, with new cars, too, you have to have apps and all sorts of different things that your car can do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those older cars, the interesting thing is how long some of them last. | ||
| I have a friend who has a Lexus who has a million miles on it. | ||
| It's a million miles. | ||
| Is it a GS300? I don't remember what model it is. | ||
| It's one of the older, bigger ones. | ||
| Yeah, the big one. | ||
| Yeah, that's the one that's supposed to be an asset car. | ||
| Asset car. | ||
| Yeah, like it's going to appreciate. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because, yeah, you know, the foreign cars are just now starting to appreciate versus the old American cars. | ||
| Well, you mean foreign, like Japanese. | ||
| Because, like, German cars are always kind of appreciated, right? | ||
| Like Porsches. | ||
| Well, yeah, Porsches and stuff like that. | ||
| But as far as, like, the little, like, yeah, Japanese cars and, like, the Lexus. | ||
| Well, you know what's really appreciating now, it's kind of interesting, is those old Nissan Skylines. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ones that became the GTRs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, you look at a GTR now, it... | ||
| It's very different looking. | ||
| It's very spaceship looking. | ||
| But the older ones are kind of like more retro and kind of cool looking. | ||
| But the oldest ones now are starting to become like really valuable. | ||
| Yeah, like the early 90s and late 80s. | ||
| Yeah, it's just hard to find one that's not molested. | ||
| Because a lot of people took them and they did shit to the fenders and they fucked with this and fucked with that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just told a chick about that the other day. | ||
| We was talking about cars and I was like, yeah, it's hard to find something. | ||
| You can find one that's not been molested. | ||
| She was like, what? | ||
| And I had to explain to her what molested was and what retard was and what tranny is. | ||
| What retard? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For a car? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like when it don't turn over, it's like when it don't move forward, like something's holding it back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You call that a retard? | ||
| Yeah, it's a retard. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Like if you try to turn the car and it won't turn over. | ||
| Oh, it's like retarded, like it's slow. | ||
| Yeah, like it won't turn. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And they mostly use it, like the Europeans use it most of the time. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| They use it as a standard term? | ||
| Yeah, like if you read some of the blogs and stuff, it's like, you know, it's amazing. | ||
| Do you read blogs on cars? | ||
| Yeah, because I work on my car myself. | ||
| So, yeah, anytime you're trying to diagnose a problem, it's more reading than actually going out to figure out what it is. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So you read all that kind of stuff, but you don't read up about suspensions or different tire offsets or anything like that? | ||
| No. | ||
| How come? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think I really never really, what they call, souped a car up or modified it too much. | ||
| You know, so everything I get, I usually just ride basically, and I can have fun with that. | ||
| Because I'm not a high-end horsepower guy. | ||
| I just need it to be quick and, like, turn and handle well. | ||
| And I just live dangerously within that, you know. | ||
| You live dangerously within those parameters? | ||
| Yeah, within those parameters, yeah. | ||
| Well, those cars, like, you know, you have a BMW 3 Series, like, those cars, they handle great anyway. | ||
| Like, my friend Eddie bought one of those a few years back, and he had before that, like, an old, shitty Bronco. | ||
| And when he got that BMW 3 Series, he was like, oh my god, man. | ||
| He goes, I like driving now. | ||
| He goes, I never knew that driving was actually fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I would go, he would go, he goes, I would take Mulholland just for fun. | ||
| Like, just decide, I'm going to take it this way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Even though it's longer, just go, you know. | ||
| I took, I was in Topanga, like, last month with the car. | ||
| The rotors are warped now. | ||
| Pure warped. | ||
| Your rotors are warped? | ||
| My rotors are warped. | ||
| From what? | ||
| From just breaking and just driving fast. | ||
| On Topanga? | ||
| On Topanga. | ||
| How many times did you do it? | ||
| That day, I was filming something, like a documentary, and I went hard that day. | ||
| But it was already warped before I went that day. | ||
| You were filming a documentary in your car? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Somebody was doing a documentary on creating how comedians create content. | ||
| And I was showing them how I get inspired and what gets me in the mood. | ||
| And the car is one of those things. | ||
| Because when you talk about a set, you're talking about engineering. | ||
| You mean a comedy set? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just the balance between the left and right brain, the logic side and the creative side, and the balance between the two. | ||
| Because my style is basically that balance, you know? | ||
| Oh, you don't know. | ||
| Well, I'm trying to get, so you get this by driving? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, driving is something that's beautiful. | ||
| I took them to a junkyard also because the death of a car and the rebirth of parts when you need it. | ||
| You know, the life and death, the yin and yang of that. | ||
| And I took them to Topanga Canyon because I did acid in Topanga. | ||
| It's a good place to do acid. | ||
| Yeah, so at one part... | ||
| Kind of unoriginal, though. | ||
| A lot of acid going on in Topanga. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when you're out there, you got nature, right? | ||
| And then when you turn to the street, you have all these sports cars, you know, which is beautiful. | ||
| You got a man-made creation that also has life to it. | ||
| I see how you're looking at me. | ||
| No, I'm just trying to follow you. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get what you're saying. | ||
| So we filmed, and I took traction control off, and it was four of us in that little car, and we just slid around a corner, and those guys were scared, you know? | ||
| Yeah, you were sliding. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| On a residential street. | ||
| They should be kind of nervous. | ||
| It was a little nervous, and I was a little nervous, but that's what made it fun, you know? | ||
| We did that together. | ||
| Yeah, that's tricky, though, because that's kind of a lot of people driving Topanga. | ||
| Yeah, and that's what adds to the edginess of it, just like my set, you know? | ||
| It's that line. | ||
| You could call that edginess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or irresponsible on public roads, you could call that. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't, you know, once you get into that, that's like trying to figure out the offset of a tire, you know what I mean? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Those little details. | ||
| Little details of what's fucking dangerous? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's not a little detail. | ||
| When you're sliding sideways on a residential road? | ||
| You think that's a little detail? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That could be the difference between, you know, a man that was close and, like, somebody called 911, you know? | ||
| Uh, yeah, that's irresponsible, right? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| It's fine. | ||
| It's edge. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| Just edgy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just a little sliding around, losing control of your car on public roads. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| It's like when we would be at high school at parties and like a gun would come out. | ||
| Oh Jesus. | ||
| And you thought the party was fine, but when that pistol came out, that's when real excitement happens. | ||
| In high school, dudes were pulling guns out in your parties? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, a party wasn't good unless the cops showed up. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So yeah, if the cops didn't show up, it was alright. | ||
| And so when guns were getting pulled out, what were they getting pulled out for? | ||
| Uh, people probably was arguing about something. | ||
| How many times did you see this? | ||
| Not a lot of times. | ||
| It's just what happened. | ||
| It's just what happened regularly. | ||
| Like, you know, at the nightclubs, you start going to nightclubs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These things will happen, you know? | ||
| Yeah, what do you think about all this shit lately? | ||
| It seems like every couple of days there's some sort of a mass shooting. | ||
| Well, the problem with being a black guy from those areas in your 30s, that's just what happens. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, but in your 20s, any man really to me in the 20s is more fight. | ||
| It's like that military, like, we're not going to take this, yada, yada, yada. | ||
| But, you know, and I can imagine, like, I'd be imagining sometimes, I look at it in a funny way, like, to my grandmother, this is nothing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because they would, like, hang people and throw them over the bridge in the county where she's from and shoot them with shotguns for fun. | ||
| So this is like, you know... | ||
| To me, in her mind, she's like, oh, they need an excuse now. | ||
| Who was doing this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| Like, they were throwing people, hanging people over the bridge and shooting them for fun? | ||
| Yeah, because I'm from the South, so things are a little, you know... | ||
| A little old school sometimes. | ||
| It's not that long ago when certain things happen, you know? | ||
| Like, Jim Crow and, like, these things aren't that old. | ||
| Like, you still hear the stories. | ||
| You're brought up, I don't want to say racist, but you're brought up to like, these people are the enemy. | ||
| You know, or be careful when you're on that side of town, or like they say, you might not come back home when you leave the house. | ||
| So what you're talking about is white people doing fucked up shit to black people. | ||
| Like this was something that was so common that it was just talked about all the time. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And you still had nice people, you know. | ||
| It's an honesty in it. | ||
| That I don't see anywhere else, because when I got out here, people act like racism didn't exist. | ||
| And it affected comedy like three years ago, you know? | ||
| Who the fuck was acting like racism didn't exist? | ||
| People would be like, oh, it's not, come on, it's not that bad at all. | ||
| Who was saying that? | ||
| People would say that. | ||
| It's not that bad? | ||
| Like it doesn't exist? | ||
| Yeah, like, we don't... | ||
| Well, people love to say that there's no racism because Obama's black. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's one of my favorite ones. | ||
| Yeah, like, people act, and I was like... | ||
| Well, I'm still shell-shocked. | ||
| But my situation's different because I was treated unfair within my own community. | ||
| Then I left my community. | ||
| You know, like, I had the whole light-skinned, dark... | ||
| My sister's light-skinned, fair-skinned, I'm dark-skinned. | ||
| So you were treated poorly within your own community because your skin's too dark? | ||
| Well, because of that one thing and, you know, single mother being looked upon differently and we're in the Bible Belt. | ||
| So there's a lot of like not having nice clothes and bullying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then I got sent to a white school where I was spat at my first year, you know what I mean? | ||
| So to me, it was like this whole world is crazy, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a weird thing, isn't it? | ||
| The racism inside the black community between light-skinned and dark-skinned people. | ||
| Well, it is until you go to, like, Brazil and you see... | ||
| Or they're all Brazilian and see the racism amongst Brazilians. | ||
| Or, you know, I start hanging out with other cultures and start seeing the separation within other cultures and seeing what I call a pattern of just human behavior. | ||
| Well, there's definitely a pattern in human behavior, trying to find groups that they belong to and then alienating and isolating themselves from the other groups. | ||
| Yeah, that's an unfortunate thing that people do. | ||
| The feminist thing to me is separating man from woman. | ||
| And then you got the gays and then you got what's going on between the black people and the cops. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Which is two groups that are opposing each other. | ||
| More so now than ever. | ||
| So you think feminism is separating men from women? | ||
| That's what they're doing? | ||
| I think it's a slight shifting of... | ||
| Especially with the guys, you know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, male feminists? | ||
| Male feminists and... | ||
| Male feminists are barely real. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's a weird situation, you know? | ||
| Let me just park this joint and keep up with you. | ||
| Male feminists are seriously barely real. | ||
| They're barely real. | ||
| There's a very tiny percentage of men that are actually male feminists. | ||
| The smallest percentage are actually, like, adhere to those ideologies. | ||
| The vast majority are doing what's called virtue signaling. | ||
| Michael Shermer's got the best expression. | ||
| I wonder if that's his expression. | ||
| I see it everywhere. | ||
| I see it more often now than ever before, I think, since he's been on this podcast. | ||
| But what they're doing is just trying to make everybody think that they're amazing. | ||
| They're so virtuous. | ||
| They're so ethical and so moral and so open-minded and fair in their thinking that they identify as a feminist. | ||
| But most of it is guys that just can't get any pussy. | ||
| Well, I thought I was a true feminist, but... | ||
| I was talking to this young lady about how beautiful women are, and I was like, they like, I like to be in a place with beautiful women. | ||
| They like cars. | ||
| Want some minutes? | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And she was like, you objectify women. | ||
| And I was like, well, I guess I objectify women then, you know? | ||
| You see that thing, Jamie, you see that thing I tweeted the other day from Cosmo, Cosmopolitan magazine, side-by-side cover. | ||
| It was a retweet from The Amazing Atheist. | ||
| Weed. | ||
| Side-by-side cover. | ||
| One of them was like, men who objectify women are the effing worst. | ||
| And then in the very next cover, it showed identifying men's bulges during the Olympics. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Hypocrites. | ||
| Yeah, but I always... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Confirmed. | ||
| Confirmed. | ||
| Men who objectify women are effing horrible. | ||
| 36 summer Olympic bulges that deserve gold. | ||
| And it's just guys' abs with their, you know, speedos looking at their cocks. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| People are fucking hilarious. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And I feel like, you know, when I talk, I try to be as truthful as possible, but I only learn through my ignorance. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You only learn... | ||
| Well, I don't say only learn through my ignorance, but... | ||
| You learn a lot from shit that you didn't know. | ||
| From messing up, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or not knowing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think feminism and all these things, there's like a giant scale, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's feminism that totally makes sense to me. | ||
| I think there's a lot of women that they get treated unfairly. | ||
| They work with assholes who just want to fuck them or want to treat them like shit because they're a woman or they have power over them and they know they can pull some stuff on them that they can't pull on men. | ||
| I think that's 100% real. | ||
| And I think there's a lot of women that are awesome. | ||
| They're cool, they're creative, they're funny, they're powerful. | ||
| And, you know, to call it feminism or whatever it is, they're just awesome humans. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And they happen to be women. | ||
| You know, so I think, like... | ||
| In some ways, the idea of feminism is to recognize those women for what they are, just awesome human beings, and to sort of shield them and protect them against a lot of sexism, a lot of misogyny, a lot of shit that gets directed in their direction. | ||
| And I know it's real. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| It's 100% real. | ||
| There's a lot of sexism. | ||
| Just like anybody that would say to you that there's no racism. | ||
| That is fucking preposterous. | ||
| Of course there's racism. | ||
| There's racism amongst black people against other black people. | ||
| Yeah, I experienced that. | ||
| I think there's just ignorance, just foolish people. | ||
| And I think in a lot of ways, it's not even the people's fault. | ||
| A lot of what we are is a measurement of who our parents were. | ||
| Who their parents were, the neighborhoods that we lived in, the people that we were exposed to, and the think process, the thought process that surrounds these areas is super difficult to escape. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's just really hard for people to think outside of the box. | ||
| It's easier now because you might live in a bad neighborhood with a bunch of silly people that don't think very well, but you have access to the internet now. | ||
| So now you can start to take in other ideas and consider those ideas. | ||
| Maybe these fucking people around me are assholes. | ||
| Well, the problem with the internet is, and I got friends and family that don't have the thought of going to the internet. | ||
| That's the problem with the internet? | ||
| Not the internet, but with that situation. | ||
| If I have a conversation with somebody and I was like, why don't you just Google it? | ||
| And they was like, what? | ||
| I'm asking you. | ||
| Yeah, you're hanging around with silly people. | ||
| It's 2016. This is just people I'm related to, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing you can do about that. | ||
| Nah, but it's... | ||
| You gotta leave them behind. | ||
| It's tough, though. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| It's tough, man. | ||
| I mean, I have left, but I realized once I left home, the only person that's educated or the person who thought outside the box is gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| You were the only person that was thinking outside the box. | ||
| For the most part, yeah. | ||
| Well, what do they think about you being like this sort of subversive comedian, you know? | ||
| You're this like open-minded, free-speaking dude who says wild shit on stage, you know? | ||
| They don't get it. | ||
| Do they think you're funny? | ||
| No. | ||
| To be honest. | ||
| Well, I'm here to tell them they're wrong. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| You're very funny. | ||
| You can just tell by the look in their face when they see it. | ||
| It's not what they... | ||
| It's not world star hip-hop, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that what they're expecting? | ||
| Yeah, that's what they found funny. | ||
| Like, look at this dude who gets slapped, you know? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, so it's just a different... | ||
| I've socially, economically, mentally crossed over, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it happened so long ago. | ||
| So you feel like you can't relate sometimes when you're talking to them? | ||
| Well, in a sense, but the things you find interesting, they might not find interesting. | ||
| And there's always a thing in the black community when they was like, how desegregation ruined the black community because it took the doctors and lawyers out of the community. | ||
| But, them niggas don't want to hang around them niggas. | ||
| Them doctors ain't trying to sit around motherfuckers that drink alcohol all day. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And they trying to talk about how to invest and what percentage the bank returns versus IRA or something like that. | ||
| So I understand why these things happen now. | ||
| Why people move out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's the journey that I'm on and then I try to go back and explain those things. | ||
| There's amazing aspects to all sorts of different ethnicities, different parts of the world, different groups of humans. | ||
| There's like amazing aspects of their culture that they have that it's gonna be weird if all that stuff gets lost. | ||
| But I think ultimately what human beings eventually are gonna have to figure out is the only things that matter are like I mean, it's really like basically straight Martin Luther King, Jr. Judge a man by the content of his character or a woman. | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| But we can identify each other so easily by what we look like or where we're from. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| So many people are so proud of being from a certain part of the world. | ||
| And in some ways, I think it's kind of cool, like Armenians. | ||
| Talk some shit about Armenia in front of Armenians. | ||
| They'll smack the fuck out of you. | ||
| They don't play, man. | ||
| They're fucking loyal to that and they don't even live there anymore, man. | ||
| That's like being someone who's really into being American and living in South America. | ||
| If you talk shit to an expat that lives in South America, if you're like, man, America's shit. | ||
| America's fucked up, it's ruined the world. | ||
| He's like, yeah, that's why I'm here. | ||
| That's why I'm here, bitch. | ||
| I got the fuck out. | ||
| I got the fuck out because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. | ||
| There's something cool about that, these people that come over here, and they're unapologetically... | ||
| One of the things I like about Armenians, I'm not picking on them, I'm complimenting them. | ||
| They're unapologetically masculine. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Those dudes will wear fucking wife beaters and tank tops with gold chains hanging down. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| They rock it so old school. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like it in a lot of ways. | ||
| Walk with the chest out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They look through you sometimes. | ||
| See, I don't want to lose that because I think there's something cool about what that community represents. | ||
| I don't want to lose that. | ||
| I don't think you lose it. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm from a situation like I got African friends and when we met, they had to sneak me in their home because I'm not African. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're from America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What part of Africa are they from? | ||
| Nigeria. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's funny, like, saying someone's African. | ||
| It's like, do you know how fucking big Africa is? | ||
| Yeah, that is true. | ||
| There's so many different countries in it. | ||
| I was, uh, I think it was Zamibia. | ||
| I was watching some documentary about Zamibia last night. | ||
| I think it's Namibia. | ||
| Namibia? | ||
| Maybe Namibia. | ||
| Namibia? | ||
| Extremely underpopulated. | ||
| It's enormous. | ||
| It's like bigger than Texas by like one quarter, which is Texas is fucking huge. | ||
| That's huge. | ||
| So this country is bigger than Texas by more than one quarter, and I think it only has like two million people in it. | ||
| And they were showing this one village that they visited, how little Rainfaller was. | ||
| They had one inch of rain in three years. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| When you're looking at how these people live. | ||
| I like watching documentaries that highlight human beings that just easily could be you or me. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| If just this happened and that happened and our mother gave birth in this weird part of the world. | ||
| And they're just people, man. | ||
| They're waving. | ||
| These kids are real playful. | ||
| They're waving to everybody. | ||
| They're waving to the camera. | ||
| They're so excited that the camera people are there to film this. | ||
| And they're out there cooking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's so dry. | |
| It's so dry. | ||
| You know, you're looking at them like, where are they getting their water? | ||
| Where's the fucking water? | ||
| There's no water. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| On this documentary, they had a problem. | ||
| It was a show. | ||
| It's actually called Uncharted. | ||
| It's this guy named Jim Shockey, and he travels all over the world. | ||
| He's a professional hunter, and he visits these communities. | ||
| A lot of times, he's helping people. | ||
| They had to take out some crocodiles, and they'd become addicted to eating people or accustomed to eating people. | ||
| In this one, they had to stop a hyena. | ||
| That was killing all their livestock. | ||
| This hyena would come in and just mangle their livestock. | ||
| And they had to get up in the middle of the night and then drive there super early in the morning before the sun came up to observe this hyena because he would only be there for like a few moments in the early, early morning and then he would bolt. | ||
| But it looks like a werewolf. | ||
| Like this werewolf that's tearing apart this cow. | ||
| And I'm watching this and I'm like, these people are living in these little houses near this. | ||
| This fucking thing is out there just mangling their cows. | ||
| They have no water. | ||
| It's dry as fuck. | ||
| It's so fascinating, man. | ||
| Anyway, that is a country in Africa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Of course, there's other countries that are tropical. | ||
| There's other countries... | ||
| I mean, Africa is... | ||
| It is insane how big that place is. | ||
| I haven't even been. | ||
| I was gonna go this summer, but I found out that you have to take malaria shots. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm not giving malaria medication to my kids. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Just fuck that. | ||
| Yeah, those things... | ||
| Shots, I'm not a fan of. | ||
| The malaria ones are supposed to be particularly abrasive on your body. | ||
| I don't want to see my kids walking around poisoned just because I thought it would be cool to go see an elephant in its natural environment. | ||
| Take a picture. | ||
| I can't lift my arms. | ||
| I mean, I think it would be fucking cool to see for sure. | ||
| Yeah, the Africans I met were so real, but they broke down the... | ||
| The white man wolf theory to me. | ||
| The white man wolf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What's that? | ||
| Like, you're not full-blooded. | ||
| You're not African no more. | ||
| You're a white man's wolf. | ||
| You're like their pets. | ||
| Oh, that's you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That you would be the white man's wolf? | ||
| That's why on the low, in the community, you hear black people saying, no, we're not African Americans. | ||
| Because they consider themselves African Americans. | ||
| Yeah, I had a buddy of mine who went to Africa with another black guy who was telling me the same thing. | ||
| He's like, dude, he goes, don't ever call yourself an African-American. | ||
| He goes, because you go over there, he goes, they don't like you. | ||
| He goes, they don't like you, they don't want to see you, and they're jealous, and they get angry at you, and they want to fuck you up. | ||
| And I go, really? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| He goes, don't ever think you're going back to Africa. | ||
| No. | ||
| But it's weird because you see people holding up the fist and all this other stuff, but we're so far removed. | ||
| I consider us a group of people that, you know, things have happened in our past, so we're afraid of that, but we don't know how our future looks either. | ||
| Well, it seems cool to have this idea that there's Africa and it's like fucking Narnia, or it's like the blue people that lived in the fucking Avatar. | ||
| What was that planet? | ||
| The planet they lived on. | ||
| I forgot the name of it. | ||
| Those trees were beautiful. | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It reminded me of unobtainium. | ||
| Pandorum? | ||
| Pandora. | ||
| Pandora. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pandora. | ||
| Pandora. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like the app. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But I remember, like... | ||
| The way people would think of Native American life is really similar. | ||
| They would think they'd have this idyllic existence. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| They lived in harmony with nature. | ||
| They only killed what they needed. | ||
| There was no war. | ||
| I've had bizarre conversations with hippies about North America. | ||
| About Native Americans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And not that I'm anti-Native American. | ||
| I'm by far the opposite. | ||
| I think it is insanely cool that this place was populated just a few hundred years ago by people that were essentially living the way people lived tens of thousands of years ago. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And they were successful at it. | ||
| They didn't even have horses, man. | ||
| They didn't have horses until European settlers. | ||
| A lot of people don't realize. | ||
| What's even more fucking weird about that is that horses actually evolved in North America. | ||
| Horses started in North America and made their way to Africa on land masses and became zebras over the course of millions of years. | ||
| This is one of the weirdest things about Plains Indians and horses, is that they didn't really have them. | ||
| But there's some belief. | ||
| This is all from this guy, Dan Flores, who's a, I guess you would call it an environmental historian. | ||
| I think that's what he's called. | ||
| I'm reading one of his books on coyotes, but what he was talking about North America that they almost they had like almost like a myth about About horses like it's possible that at one point in time they had domesticated horses Somewhere in North America like you know tens of thousands of years ago, | ||
| but this is all like pre ice age Ice age hits ice age thaws out like a lot a lot of shit has gone down here But those people, they did not live an avatar existence, is my point. | ||
| Like, Native Americans would go to war with each other. | ||
| They'd fucking kill each other. | ||
| They'd do horrible things. | ||
| The ones in the Great Lakes area, they did a lot of cannibalism. | ||
| The Nez Perce, I think the name of the Indian they were talking about, they would, like, kill their enemies and shit. | ||
| They would find trappers and kill them and eat them. | ||
| You know, like, it was not... | ||
| This beautiful world. | ||
| But apes do the same thing, but I think it's just a matter of resources, right? | ||
| That's how I look at it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It's also the same reason why racism exists. | ||
| People get in this us versus them thing where they want these people, whoever these people are, they want everybody has to be on this team and fuck everybody else. | ||
| Because that's the only way they feel like they can survive. | ||
| That's the old way. | ||
| But what's interesting to me, I think, is that In this day and age, that old way is just melting in front of our eyes because people understand each other. | ||
| How many white people have Black Lives Movement hashtagged on their fucking Twitter page? | ||
| A fuckload, man. | ||
| How many people today are racist and compared to 100 years ago? | ||
| It's probably radically lower. | ||
| It's lower. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Is that how white women want to fuck black dudes because of this thing? | ||
| So in a way, it's not for nothing. | ||
| You know what it's like, dude? | ||
| It's like you're a first liner. | ||
| You're a first responder. | ||
| Like the 9-11 firemen. | ||
| They got mad pussy after 9-11. | ||
| Those guys were superstars. | ||
| Girls would just fuck firemen. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Especially if a girl worked in a building that was close to where the towers went down. | ||
| Those guys were goddamn heroes. | ||
| All their hero genes fired up. | ||
| I wonder if that's what makes men want to do it in the first place. | ||
| They know that women are gonna think they're heroes and fuck them. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think guys, like, want to be the alpha, you know, in a certain... | ||
| I found my place to be an alpha, you know what I mean? | ||
| So if I was a black guy, I would probably play up racism big time just for white pussy. | ||
| However you can play it up. | ||
| It's chicks that told me, yeah, now you just want to make out with black. | ||
| They feel there's nothing they can do, so they just want to make out with black guys. | ||
| There's nothing they can do? | ||
| They feel so whatever about what's happening, that they want to just make out with black, just to make it, you know, contribute somehow. | ||
| And I was like, you know. | ||
| Well, there's a few videos that have come out this year where everybody's got to go. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well now, give me an excuse now. | ||
| Explain it now. | ||
| There's a few, like the one that the guy got shot in his car, reaching for his wallet with his wife and kid in the car. | ||
| Tell me these things don't exist, because everybody was like, ah, that's how they said it went down, but you know the guy probably said something, or he went and reached for something, or maybe he had a record, maybe they knew this guy was a dangerous... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Just a dude complying, reaching for his wallet and gets unloaded on by some fucking psycho, some stressed out PTSD'd. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck is going on in that guy's head? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You know, one of the things I thought was interesting, they had this video online recently that I saw. | ||
| It was... | ||
| They took this guy who was an active... | ||
| He was a big-time detractor of the police. | ||
| He was talking about how horrible the police are, and they invited him to go through one of their police training safety courses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what they do is they you're supposed to determine when to shoot or when you when you can get shot when when someone could be a threat when you have to shoot them It was fucking amazing. | ||
| It's amazing to watch because this guy in just a few of these scenarios started freaking out Like he got shot in a couple of them when they shoot you they shoot at the ground in front of you with a blank So he had to realize that this is how quick a cop can get shot by a psycho. | ||
| And so there's different times where he got pulled over, where he pulled someone over, or where he was handling this one guy in a parking lot, and the guy went behind the car real quick and then came out and shot him within a second. | ||
| He's like, sir, can I see some identification, sir? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| I'm just working, dude. | ||
| I'm just getting my stuff here. | ||
| And he goes in the back and pulls out a gun and shoots him. | ||
| He's like, this happened. | ||
| This is an actual scenario. | ||
| This has happened. | ||
| It's probably happened a hundred times. | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| Yeah, so they have to... | ||
| They are always fucking like this, man. | ||
| They're always like... | ||
| And you know how people are. | ||
| Some people are like, Oh my God, we're almost out of gas. | ||
| Oh my God, we're almost out of gas. | ||
| We're almost out of gas. | ||
| What are we going to do? | ||
| What are we going to do? | ||
| And you're like, Will you shut the fuck up? | ||
| If we get out of gas, we'll walk to a goddamn gas station. | ||
| It'll take us 20 minutes. | ||
| We'll get some gas. | ||
| We'll come back. | ||
| Don't cry. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, I know somebody talked to a cop and they said that Well, how they started working and then 11 years later. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Going into those areas where these things always happen. | ||
| And after years and years, it just wears on you. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And I know from the air, just me growing up in situations, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I wouldn't want to go back. | ||
| I'd barely go back there, you know? | ||
| So, but it do give you nerves. | ||
| Your nerves heighten. | ||
| It naturally kicks in. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You know, and like, yeah. | ||
| And some people can't handle those nerves. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| You learn how to breathe quietly. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| You can walk down the street and somebody can put a little pistol out on you. | ||
| I've been driving down the street with my ex-lady and she was talking and I was like, get down. | ||
| Because I saw a guy draw on a corner and shoot across the street at another guy. | ||
| And as the gun went up, we drove under the fire, right? | ||
| It was long. | ||
| It was long. | ||
| And as it went up, we went under. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| We got the second shot off and I drove and I was like, man, that was crazy. | ||
| Like, I'm that guy. | ||
| Like, we made it. | ||
| Like, get up. | ||
| We made it. | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| And she's like, you gonna call the police? | ||
| And I was like, for what? | ||
| And she's like, to tell what happened. | ||
| And I was like, no. | ||
| I don't want to be. | ||
| And that's how crazy it is that you don't even want to be involved because you got to go to the cops. | ||
| And I ended up calling the police. | ||
| And they was like, can you describe the victim? | ||
| I was like, white t-shirt, blue jeans. | ||
| That's all I said. | ||
| And they was like, was he black? | ||
| And that was just a long pause. | ||
| It was a long pause. | ||
| And they was like, sir, is he black? | ||
| And I was like, man, you know that nigga was black. | ||
| I just hung the phone up. | ||
| I just hung the phone up, man. | ||
| It felt weird, but yeah, because I realized, yeah, like, Yeah, it's just weird things that happen, but it's interesting what goes on because I met guys who shot at people before and shot people. | ||
| So if you hear anything about my set, you know I know both sides. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's just interesting. | ||
| Out of dudes you know that shot people, how many of them got caught? | ||
|
unidentified
|
One. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| One, because he ended up shooting my best friend's sister in a baby. | ||
| In a passion crime. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| And his last words to me was, he was weird. | ||
| I was leaving the house one night. | ||
| We was in a project. | ||
| You know, he played cards and shit. | ||
| Like, I don't really went into that like that. | ||
| But I remember leaving, and he was just on the steps, and he looked up at me. | ||
| And he was like, hey, man. | ||
| He was like, you smart. | ||
| You got a chance to get out of here. | ||
| And it was one of those weird moments, you know. | ||
| And he was like, man, just keep doing you. | ||
| No matter how weird or whatever people say, y'all just keep doing you type situation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And he's like, I love you. | ||
| And I don't use love like that. | ||
| So I was just like, all right. | ||
| You know, all right. | ||
| And then I left. | ||
| And then that was my last time seeing him, you know. | ||
| How long after that did he do the crime? | ||
| Probably like a week or two. | ||
| Because I was out of town and I got back and it was just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's war zones. | ||
| That's a war zone. | ||
| I mean, when you're in an area that has a lot of shootings, So much so that you drive under a car and you don't even want to call the cops. | ||
| You know, like if you saw something like that in Beverly Hills, if you were an average person who's like a successful accountant, who has a nice home in Beverly Hills, and you're driving to your house and someone shoots over your car, fucking for sure you're calling the police, right? | ||
| Because it's rare. | ||
| It doesn't happen there very often. | ||
| That is, if you think how many people die during wartime every year, Find this out, Jamie. | ||
| I wonder if this is possible to know. | ||
| I was going to say how many shootings occur in Iraq and Afghanistan. | ||
| How many military-involved exchanges of firearms occur? | ||
| And then compare it to how many people get killed in America every day from gunfire. | ||
| And, you know, everybody's like, well, is this a gun rights issue? | ||
| No, just looking at what's happening. | ||
| Like, looking at where are the, like, super dangerous spots. | ||
| And the mindset and the so-called lack of resources people think they have. | ||
| When you say lack of resources, you mean no hope for the future? | ||
| Or just fear-based or I gotta eat, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like the power company don't care that you all love each other and you're trying to go get better your life. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And sometimes your lady, your girl, don't even want to hear that either. | ||
| I think that is a big part of what keeps these communities exactly the same way. | ||
| You know, there's a dude named Eddie Wong. | ||
| He's a chef and an author, and he's done a bunch of cool shit, and he's a funny dude. | ||
| He's got a show on Vice. | ||
| And he brought up this idea of universal basic income. | ||
| And he's like, you know, just giving people enough money every year so they live. | ||
| You know, like, you don't have to worry about your bills. | ||
| Everything's paid for. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything after that, you have to work for. | ||
| And I remember thinking, that is fucking ridiculous. | ||
| You can't give people things. | ||
| People are going to get fucking lazy. | ||
| That's not going to work. | ||
| But now, the more I think about it, the more I think of, that might be the best way To curb crime, to curb need, to curb people doing things out of total desperation, to curb a certain amount of despair that some people feel. | ||
| And then from there, it might be like a jumpstart for people pursuing other ideas that might successfully contribute to the economy. | ||
| I don't know enough about the economy to really comment. | ||
| I'm just reading a bunch of different things a bunch of people have said about it, and I'm like, wow. | ||
| So it might actually make sense in terms of law enforcement, in terms of unemployment, like all sorts of different things where you would have to factor in where the money would come from. | ||
| And I was like, wow. | ||
| It's kind of counterintuitive, but once you look into it, you're like, look, How many of these people that are super desperate and don't have money for bills, there's no jobs, how many of those people would relax a lot if they got X amount of dollars a year? | ||
| Like whatever it is, they would survive. | ||
| I know like with myself, I'm like I'm around people that make money now and they like money is not important, but I'm like you made it to the mountaintop already. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You made a certain income, but when you surviving, you don't have time to feel things. | ||
| You don't have time to be philosophical. | ||
| Or to feel like I'm sad. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Or these things. | ||
| I even look at my mom differently now because she at one point lost her children. | ||
| You know, and she had to get them back. | ||
| And she raised us in survival mode. | ||
| So she never thought of reading a self-help book or learn how to money manage and do all those things. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And me and my sister had a place now where we could do those things, you know? | ||
| Where we could talk about, you know, how we feel or even look back and see where we went wrong. | ||
| And that's just a luxury that, you know... | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| A mother who was a father, a mother, a woman... | ||
| Who becomes a guy and take those roles on, it does something to her. | ||
| Emotionally, you know what I mean? | ||
| You know, so... | ||
| When her kids is gone now, she might have a chance to grow and see what things went wrong if she doesn't feel it's too late. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But in survival mode, and I try to tell people that who try to talk about these issues but never been in the situation before and feel the need to go out and see why people get out and don't look back or they try to help people and people concentrate on other things. | ||
| The reason why. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That, yeah, the survival mode is very primal. | ||
| You know, the law don't matter in survival mode. | ||
| Or, yeah, you can take things. | ||
| You can run up in the store and take things. | ||
| Because you're just that hungry, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, I've seen and been a part of all these things. | ||
| You like clothes, you want luxury stuff to the point that you would take it. | ||
| You know, go to a mall and take a polo shirt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, survival mode is a place that most people have no idea, right? | ||
| Most people are just guessing. | ||
| Me included. | ||
| Just guessing. | ||
| Well, there's people that is in a situation even worse than mine. | ||
| And yeah, you see what it does to people. | ||
| And after a while, they kind of like it. | ||
| They might make six figures, but they still go to the projects. | ||
| Because it's exciting. | ||
| It's exciting, one. | ||
| And two, they can't communicate with people who've been making $100,000 their whole life or grew up in that situation. | ||
| Well, you know, that's a big thing with people that go to war. | ||
| People that have been to war, they, for some reason, even though it was awful and they saw friends die, it was the best time of their life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like there's something about living knowing that any moment you could be dead that makes the live moments, the moments when you're not dead, more special. | ||
| And then you come back here and everything's sort of muted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's toned down, you know? | ||
| I think that's why a lot of rich people, they start, if they don't have any meaning in their life, they don't have a thing that they're really into, they just start buying shit. | ||
| They just start collecting houses and boats and they're just trying to figure out there's got to be something exciting to do here. | ||
| There's got to be something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, once I started making like $30,000 a year doing stand-up, it changed me because I wasn't invited to LA. I slept on the floor for a year. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I did the whole car thing and built everything up from there. | ||
| You living out of the car? | ||
| You were doing that? | ||
| Yeah, for like a couple weeks, you know, but... | ||
| Everybody's got a cool story that makes it. | ||
| We might make it then. | ||
| I know a lot of people, like Ronda Rousey, she had a cool living out of her car story. | ||
| Oh man, that was a very interesting interview. | ||
| Very emotional, you know? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| A lot of people had the living out of your car. | ||
| Yeah, but to me, that's kind of normal for LA. But I figured, I think I made it, part of me think I made it when I graduated from college, because I was the first to graduate from college. | ||
| And I was like, I gotta unlearn everything I was taught now. | ||
| How so? | ||
| Because it's institutionalized thinking. | ||
| To me, there's no difference between college and prison sometimes to me. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's way different. | ||
| You can quit college. | ||
| Well, yeah, you can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But, you know, both get money for how many occupants they have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I look at those stats and they teach you. | ||
| It's a society within both, you know. | ||
| Then even the military, because I went to Afghanistan for 13 days. | ||
| I think colleges are incredibly important, but I think that like all things When the world around them evolves quicker than they do, it creates issues. | ||
| And I think a lot of what you're seeing... | ||
| I've talked to some kids who go to school that are taking these classes from ridiculous left-wing professors who are basically communists. | ||
| And there's a lot of them. | ||
| It's not just a few. | ||
| And this left-wing thinking is like super uber prevalent on campus to the point where it's like distorting kids' versions and views of the world. | ||
| And it's trickled down. | ||
| It's the students. | ||
| It's the faculty. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| Ultimately, a lot of it is like the people at the very top of it all. | ||
| It's really kind of fascinating because those people are shaping people's minds. | ||
| And they're involved in a lot of ways from what comes out of that in a cultural sense. | ||
| But there's a lot of backlash because of that too. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are going to those schools and now are reading online accounts of what these professors do. | ||
| And now a lot of these professors have zero experience in the world itself. | ||
| They just live in academia. | ||
| They get the degree, they go from getting a degree to teaching, and they teach, and they don't enter the world. | ||
| So they live in this world of these sort of esoteric ideas, these philosophies that they would like to be real, but might not necessarily be real. | ||
| They teach kids. | ||
| I was kind of fortunate in that because I took some weird tests in elementary school that sent me to these schools. | ||
| Upper middle class, high school. | ||
| They just figured out you're smart? | ||
| Yeah, but it alienated me from my community. | ||
| We got bused to a school, so everybody in my apartment complex got on a bus and went to school, and then we got separated to where it was like five black people in this class, and when we would go to lunch, we'd have to walk on different sides of the hall, and everybody from my neighbor would just mush me coming through the hall and stuff. | ||
| So things started to happen then. | ||
| How could they not see that coming? | ||
| That almost seems like one of those government experiments. | ||
| Like a psychological Tuskegee experiment. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| In a sense, but what happened was by the time... | ||
| Like my professors were like rich millionaires. | ||
| Because they taught the subject that they... | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I would say like a comedy class, except that teacher made it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So they write books and shit? | ||
| They write their own books. | ||
| They got millions. | ||
| They doing this because they want to. | ||
| They retired already. | ||
| I think my stat teacher retired at 30. You know what I mean? | ||
| 30? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He wrote his own book, and I didn't like that. | ||
| Goddamn bar. | ||
| Because I couldn't steal his book. | ||
| You couldn't steal it? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because he wrote his own book. | ||
| So we had to buy it from him, and he downloaded it somehow. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| So he sold you his own. | ||
| He had to sell his books every time a class. | ||
| He taught, woo, that's tricky. | ||
| So I went to college my freshman year and then had books, because in high school they provided books, and I didn't know you needed books. | ||
| So I made money to buy a book, and they got book buyback programs. | ||
| But they give you 25% of what the book's worth. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I just couldn't get into that. | ||
| So I had to steal books, and I would sell the books at 50%. | ||
| You would steal them and sell them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Would you steal a physical copy of the book? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where would you get them? | ||
| From the bookstore. | ||
| Just snag them from the bookstore? | ||
| Yeah, because the thing that the alarm they had, or the alarm, and it's funny because the engineering book school, but it never was hooked up properly. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| So, and I was thin enough just to put it in my waistband and walk out. | ||
| This is all very alleged. | ||
| Never really happened. | ||
| Yeah, it never really happened. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| This is just fiction for a podcast. | ||
| If I was to write a book, though, this is how it would be done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But I didn't do it like on massive. | ||
| I didn't do massive because I know what grand theft is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's only a few people that I supplied and it's easy. | ||
| You buy, you're getting it for 50% and then you're getting half of that money back at the end of the semester? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a good deal. | ||
| Yeah, that's a pretty good deal. | ||
| Win-win. | ||
| Except for stealing. | ||
| The stealing part. | ||
| The stealing part, but... | ||
| I allegedly might have gotten college books that way, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| A lot of them. | ||
| Super common? | ||
| Well, today kids can just download most things, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| It must be really hard for them to sell their books now. | ||
| Because kids can just go to a BitTorrent. | ||
| Because especially if there's a college course that's in a major university, most likely someone's going to upload it to a torrent, right? | ||
| Would you assume? | ||
| But it wasn't Torrance. | ||
| I went to school when Napster dropped, so we was a group that pushed all that forward. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| Yeah, I remember the the crazy argument about Napster. | ||
| I remember I had to sit back and Go I remember very clearly when that Metallica guy got involved Lars Ulrich got involved and he was you know saying that this is stealing and and he was going crazy and freaking out I remember literally sitting back because I was listening to it on Sirius satellite radio. | ||
| I think it was a time or something I was listening to something on my car. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| Like what year was Napster? | ||
| O2. Was there even Sirius satellite radio? | ||
| Am I imagining this? | ||
| It might have been the radio. | ||
| Actual radio. | ||
| XM was right around that same time, I think. | ||
| It might have been whoever it was out here. | ||
| It might have been Howard Stern. | ||
| I was listening to something, and they were talking about it. | ||
| And I remember thinking, just stepping back and going, whoa, this is a new thing. | ||
| People have figured out how to get stuff for free online that normally would be like 20 bucks or 10 bucks or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And I remember thinking, whoa, this is a new door that just opened up. | ||
| I remember sitting back in my chair. | ||
| I was in my car. | ||
| I remember the fucking parking lot. | ||
| I was going to buy dog food. | ||
| And I was listening to this. | ||
| And I remember I sat back and I went, oh, man, this is a moment. | ||
| This is a real moment in our culture. | ||
| Well, before then, look, our dorms didn't even have the internet. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You didn't have the internet in your dorms? | ||
| You still had to go to the computer lab. | ||
| So check this out. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| This was the hustle. | ||
| We met two white guys. | ||
| One guy broke his foot when he was young, and his dad gave him an old computer, and he started working a little card game. | ||
| And from there, he learned programming. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And he said, we can give him access to a computer lab. | ||
| He can supply our rooms with the internet. | ||
| Because they were wired, but it wasn't hooked up. | ||
| So he can get the numbers and if-and statements and make the thing communicate with one another. | ||
| So a few of us in the dorms had internet. | ||
| Whoa, you guys hacked the dorms? | ||
| It's like an episode of MASH. And this is the problem with learning how to hustle in survival mode. | ||
| You learn how to get stuff for free, but you don't learn how to monetize it all the time. | ||
| But what we did was... | ||
| We started selling CDs and stuff like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you'd download stuff and then sell CDs? | ||
| Because nobody had laptops or nothing like that. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These are crazy stories. | ||
| We're going to look back on this. | ||
| This is like those people when the camera first got invented. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We stood around for four hours and he painted us. | ||
| And I'd be like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I mean, this is literally what that's like. | ||
| This is what happens, man. | ||
| And I think a year or two earlier, I was in the crack game a little bit. | ||
| You were in the crack game? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Like six months. | ||
| That should be a meme. | ||
| I was in the crack game a little bit. | ||
| Picture of Byron Bowers. | ||
| This thing was new. | ||
| This thing was a new hustle because more people love music. | ||
| Yeah, when did the crack game open up? | ||
| That was 80... | ||
| The 80s. | ||
| Something. | ||
| That was when everything became, uh, they blamed everything on crack. | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| They literally blamed everything on crack. | ||
| The epidemic. | ||
| Like, all white people were terrified of crack. | ||
| They thought that for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You want some of those? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| I know you're looking at it. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So, bite the top off of it and pour it in your drink. | ||
| You'll get smarter. | ||
| It, um, it affected me in the 90s, mid-90s. | ||
| How so? | ||
| With my father and my aunt. | ||
| The sea of deterioration of people and families, like full on. | ||
| Somebody you look up to just, you know... | ||
| It was a way for people to get coke way easier, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's basically what it is. | ||
| You get the same high for a short amount of... | ||
| for cheaper, you know what I mean? | ||
| Five, ten dollars. | ||
| But it has a different effect. | ||
| It must have some sort of a different effect because people say that the crack thing, like after you do it, it's like really good in the beginning and then it's not so good after a while. | ||
| Is that the same with coke? | ||
| I think you're still chasing that high. | ||
| I haven't did coke... | ||
| Yet. | ||
| Ever? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| You say yet though. | ||
| You're leaving the possibility open. | ||
| Byron Bowers ready to party. | ||
| You know, everything I've done, I do it for... | ||
| Experiment with it. | ||
| To understand addiction and learn... | ||
| Comedy makes me so happy that I don't have to lean on anything for any emotional thing. | ||
| So when I do it, it's just to see what it's like. | ||
| When I did Shrooms, I was there documenting the experience. | ||
| And then I would go back into it and I can go out. | ||
| Being self-aware mentally. | ||
| Almost like from an engineering perspective, you're trying to back-engineer what's going on when you're doing these drugs. | ||
| Try to figure it out. | ||
| Let me write this stuff down, then I'll go back and look at it and try to figure out how I got there. | ||
| Well, even when I got in the crack business, it was like, let's see what makes you so powerful. | ||
| I remember having it in my hand, like, let's see what makes you so powerful. | ||
| You were saying that to the crack itself? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did it say? | ||
| I'll show you what I run powers. | ||
| When it ended, it was a low for me. | ||
| When I stopped selling... | ||
| The loaf of you? | ||
| It was a loaf for me. | ||
| Because I didn't know that the person who sells it is addicted just as much as the user. | ||
| Because you're addicted to selling it? | ||
| The power, the money. | ||
| When you walk in the building, people know who you are. | ||
| The control you have over people. | ||
| I'm like, this is what white power feels like. | ||
| It was a guy who ran into a store, got some clothes, and brought it back. | ||
| Because he didn't have any money. | ||
| That's a powerful thing, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are sucking your dick, you know, and stuff like that. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| How does it equate to a guy getting some clothes and bringing them back? | ||
| What? | ||
| How what? | ||
| The power? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they don't... | ||
| There's nothing they would normally do. | ||
| You could make somebody do that, you know what I mean? | ||
| So I look at it like if I was, and I could think like a 1% because I got a business, I was educated in business, so they give you a Republican mindset. | ||
| So if I was in control of a society, right, and I had a group of poor people and I controlled the resources, and this happened on the street with drugs too, that's why a drug dealer would get robbed. | ||
| If I control the resources, I can allow it to go out or I can not allow it to go out. | ||
| I can control the price point. | ||
| And if you can't afford it, you know what I mean? | ||
| Then it's like, okay, let's see what else you could do. | ||
| To get this thing that you want. | ||
| So you were getting addicted to the power of controlling these people, of having these people dependent upon you. | ||
| You would show up. | ||
| You would be important. | ||
| You'd be making money doing something that's kind of dangerous. | ||
| There's a bunch of different things going on. | ||
| I did it enough to see it, but I didn't do it long enough to get full power. | ||
| How long did you do it? | ||
| I think probably six months or a semester or two. | ||
| How'd you get out of it? | ||
| It was at one point I got propositioned to take control over this town. | ||
| And it was at a point consciously where, like I was at a private college. | ||
| I lived a triple life. | ||
| I had basketball scholarship. | ||
| I had classes that I was failing. | ||
| It was a religious college. | ||
| I had white friends and then I would go to the black community and hustle at night. | ||
| It's a lot of stuff to do, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, at one point, I was shot at. | ||
| I was hanging with my white friends, and they didn't know what the fuck was going on. | ||
| You got shot at with your white friends? | ||
| Yeah, because they wanted to buy weed. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| They had to go to get weed in this other place, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah, so, and that person, allegedly, his uncle worked for me. | ||
| This is the first allegedly of the night, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Yeah, all this is alleged, you know what I mean? | ||
| So, uh... | ||
| I remember it was a pharmaceutical company in that town that made a lot of money and I remember standing outside face to face with it and I was like, this is a setup we'll never win. | ||
| This is where all the money is right here in this pharmaceutical company. | ||
| It's legal, you know? | ||
| And I met a guy who was addicted to crack. | ||
| He owned a pharmaceutical company and CVS bought him out for like 1.5, 1.8 million dollars. | ||
| And you know where all that money went, you know? | ||
| And these things made me be like... | ||
| And then the fact I was getting angry because I'm realizing how unfair life is. | ||
| Because now I'm meeting black people. | ||
| Grandparents went to college. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And during that time, they would do brown paper bag tests to see if you was allowed to go to school within the black community. | ||
| They would put a brown paper bag up to you, and if you was lighter than that, you could go to school and stuff. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Who did this? | ||
| This was like certain HBSUs, you know, black universities and stuff like that. | ||
| I know they would do that just to get in a fraternity, you know? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, you can research this stuff. | ||
| A brown paper bag is so white. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| You're telling me. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Wow. | ||
| So... | ||
| The anger started to come, and then you in the streets hustling, and I don't think I had the mentality. | ||
| It got to one point I knew that if I crossed the line, like if I would have harmed somebody in a very bad way, there's no coming back from that. | ||
| And I don't think I was ready to make that decision. | ||
| But I do know the guy, when I left, he went on to build that part of town and finished. | ||
| It was just two of us at the time, but it became a crew of six, and each made 13-5 a week take home. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| By the time they hit five, six, and seven years. | ||
| But by the time I linked back up with him, he was the only one left. | ||
| Alive. | ||
| Alive or not in jail. | ||
| You know, religion saved him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So he pulled out because religion the rest when we're gone? | ||
| Yeah, but I just saw the way my mind where I just saw stuff early You know, you just put the pieces together early, right? | ||
| Well, that's that's a skill That's a skill that a lot of people have to learn and you learn it by watching either you do your own fuck-ups or you watch a lot of people fuck up around you Yeah, like if you talk to the children of alcoholics, they rarely drink I shouldn't say rarely. | ||
| What I should say is I run into a lot of people who were the children of alcoholics who realized, like, fuck that noise. | ||
| And they realized growing up with unreliable parents, they were fucked up. | ||
| And those people, you know, there's like proof positive. | ||
| You don't have to actually go through the mistake to learn yourself. | ||
| But once I learned, I didn't hate drug dealers no more. | ||
| But until then, I did. | ||
| Because one knocked my dad's eye out. | ||
| I heard he climbed the flagpole for fun because he didn't have no money. | ||
| But before then, this was a guy that raised me who managed to... | ||
| We live in a small two-bedroom apartment to him amassing a five-bedroom house and cars and boats because he was just that smart and good. | ||
| And I seen it all disappear, you know what I mean? | ||
| What I call like king falling or something like that. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So I just wanted to see like the other part of that. | ||
| And I would be in the crack house asking people's parents about how their kids feel about this. | ||
| And they, you know, no, no, no. | ||
| You know, I don't want to talk about that right now. | ||
| So even during that time, I'm still like gathering information and just... | ||
| What's most insidious about crack is that it affects poor neighborhoods in general and black neighborhoods in particular. | ||
| That's one of the weirder drugs because there was crack in poor white neighborhoods. | ||
| There was an area called Lowell in Massachusetts that had a big problem. | ||
| I think it was crack or was it heroin? | ||
| There was crack neighborhoods for sure. | ||
| I know poor white people that smoked crack. | ||
| But it seems way more prevalent in black communities. | ||
| And I always wonder, like, what's the need that's being met when a drug provides a certain type of sensation? | ||
| Like, what is the need that's being met that uniquely attracts it to certain neighborhoods? | ||
| I don't know that. | ||
| I really don't know. | ||
| I know it was cheap for certain. | ||
| It wasn't cheap where we was doing it at. | ||
| That's what made it so profitable. | ||
| But do you think that it's because of all these pressures that you were talking about? | ||
| Like you're talking about this despair. | ||
| You're talking about how it just feels like you can't get out. | ||
| You're stuck in this bad place with all this danger and violence and just the constant fucking pressure of that. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I look at what my aunt and dad, the type of people they are, personality-wise, very friendly. | ||
| And them being in a Bible Belt where you're taught you got to behave a certain way. | ||
| But they are real horny people and they like to fuck. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They do. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So just being confined. | ||
| Growing up with two parents, I hear my friends be like, they had pressures that I didn't have. | ||
| I didn't have a curfew or nothing. | ||
| You know, but I was just a good kid. | ||
| I was still, they called me a square when I was younger. | ||
| I didn't partake in anything, but I would be out. | ||
| I'd be like, it'll be like right there and I see it. | ||
| But just instinctively, I knew better. | ||
| But I see people who came up a certain way with certain values. | ||
| Even my friends, they had to live with that for a while. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I had the freedom to be like, nah, I'm gonna do this. | ||
| So you had the forethought or foresight to see where this could all be a problem, and then you got proven correct. | ||
| So you got to see all these other people fuck up doing all these things. | ||
| Yeah, well, I noticed, like, oh, my grandmother and granddaddy are snuff cigarette people. | ||
| Snuff? | ||
| That stuff's so weird. | ||
| Explain that shit for people who don't even know what snuff is. | ||
| Snuff is like a powder form of tobacco, almost. | ||
| Like, chewing tobacco is what the dudes did. | ||
| And snuff is what the women did. | ||
| It's a powder form, and they still put it in their mouth, and they got a spit cup, and they'll always be like, oh, you know, as a kid, go grab my spit cup. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
| You watch a lady just spit in this beautiful ass spit cup. | ||
| They get a paper towel and put it at the bottom so it don't make a noise. | ||
| You remember that was like a big deal in the Wild West? | ||
| They'd have spittoons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| I saw one at the Capitol to the Capitol in Sacramento and they got those spit things. | ||
| I used to work with this dude. | ||
| He was a stuntman on Fear Factor. | ||
| His name is Perry. | ||
| Perry's crazy. | ||
| He used to swallow his tobacco juice. | ||
| Oh, that's gangster. | ||
| He said he was working on movie sets so often that he couldn't spit. | ||
| He couldn't carry around his cup and spit, so he started just swallowing his tobacco juice and then got used to it. | ||
| The most I've drank... | ||
| The most I've drank and did tobacco. | ||
| I did tobacco before. | ||
| You drank tobacco? | ||
| No, I drank alcohol and did tobacco because I used to do focus groups. | ||
| My Nigerian friends, they put me on. | ||
| So they give you $50, $75, $100, $200 to drink and taste it and give your opinion on it, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you... | ||
| Because my name is Byron Bowers, which could be Byron Powers, which could be Brian Bowers, Brian Powers. | ||
| I could do four focus groups in one day. | ||
| So you just change your name a little bit? | ||
| Change name, put on a different shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| This is the hustles that we had. | ||
| In college to me, college is where poor people learn white collar crimes and stuff, right? | ||
| So I had to do tobacco and they never would do it. | ||
| Some people and I would do it. | ||
| And then they would be in the tobacco meeting. | ||
| It'd be like me and the redneck white guys. | ||
| They all like, yeah, man, this one tastes a little more like the citrus flavor pops more in this, you know? | ||
| And I'm in there just lit, eyes red. | ||
| Like, I'm in there just chewing my, hanging out my mouth. | ||
| I can't even spit right. | ||
| What is the feeling of doing chewing tobacco when you don't do it? | ||
| What does it do to you? | ||
| In that group, I think it's like, um... | ||
| The equivalent to, like, you just get, like, a weird buzz feeling. | ||
| Like, you just real, like, your eyes are red and... | ||
| They say it's really good to write on. | ||
| They say, like, nicotine is one of the best things to write on. | ||
| It's like, it's like a more, it's like an alertness. | ||
| Alert. | ||
| Like, if I eat chocolate or drink coffee, like, my heart explodes and I just start doing this. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So, it's, like, an alert version of that, but you still, like, happy and stuff at the same time. | ||
| Like, as if you're on alcohol. | ||
| It's like you buzzed in a way. | ||
| So, it's better. | ||
| Better than coffee? | ||
| It's more of a drunk feeling than coffee. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| To me. | ||
| From chewing tobacco? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of this? | ||
| Is this like the loose leaf stuff? | ||
| Yeah, that skull stuff that you watch people do it and you don't even know how to spit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They look so nasty. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And I saw this one fucking dude who was doing public service announcements. | ||
| He was going to colleges and high schools, rather, and grammar schools, and he was missing most of his lower jaw. | ||
| He got jaw cancer from doing chewing tobacco. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think he was a baseball player. | ||
| He used to be this strapping, handsome gentleman. | ||
| And then as time went on, the cancer ate his jaw away. | ||
| It stings to me. | ||
| It stings to me. | ||
| It's like a stronger spearmint mint feeling. | ||
| And if you don't know how to do it right, it gets all in you. | ||
| Well, how many people actually get cancer from that stuff? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It seems like there's a lot of people that do that stuff, right? | ||
| They don't got no electronic version now? | ||
| Like they got e-cigarettes? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Well, I mean... | ||
| Apparently, according to people that smoke cigarettes, e-cigarettes just don't give you the same rush. | ||
| I can't believe that. | ||
| They don't give you that kick. | ||
| At the end of the day to me, but it's still smoke going inside your lungs. | ||
| Yes, it's still smoke going inside your lungs, but it's not. | ||
| Those e-cigarettes are vapor. | ||
| It's actually a liquid tobacco, and then it vaporizes the liquid tobacco, and some sort of particles have to be in the air. | ||
| But it's attached to vapor. | ||
| It's a different experience than the hot smoke from fire. | ||
| It's like those cars that burn with hydrogen or something that evaporates in the air? | ||
| Hydrogen turns into air, yeah, when you burn it. | ||
| Or does it turn into water? | ||
| Oxygen or water? | ||
| Burning hydrogen turn into oxygen or does it turn into water? | ||
| I'm asking Jamie to Google five things at a time. | ||
| We need a goddamn assistant. | ||
| But yeah, yeah. | ||
| But cigarettes, man, they do give you a weird rush. | ||
| I don't smoke cigarettes, but I've had hits of people's cigarettes before just to see what it feels like. | ||
| Like Tony Hinchcliffe gave me a pull off his cigarette the other night, right before I went on stage. | ||
| It gives you like a rush. | ||
| It gives you like, your mind fires up. | ||
| And he's like, dude, be careful. | ||
| You can get addicted to these things. | ||
| I'm like, I am not getting addicted to your fucking cigarette. | ||
| Just relax. | ||
| I'm just going to take one puff of a cigarette. | ||
| That's how I feel about stuff. | ||
| When I told my mom I did acid, and I told people in the South I do acid, they think, you know what happened to your father? | ||
| Why would you go down the same path? | ||
| Oh God, they think it's the same path. | ||
| I'm trying to live. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Trying to see things different. | ||
| I understand what he went through. | ||
| But, and also, I came back as Moses also, so that didn't help. | ||
| Excuse me, what? | ||
| I came back like... | ||
| What do you mean you came back? | ||
| I met God. | ||
| Oh, after you did that. | ||
| These are the instructions. | ||
| Everything's gonna be okay. | ||
| I seen life, I seen death, I time-traveled. | ||
| Yeah, that sounds pretty trippy. | ||
| They'd be like, God damn it, Byron. | ||
| You went nutty. | ||
| Hanging around with those white people. | ||
| But that adds on to the fact they already think I went nutty for graduating and saying, I'm going to do stand-up. | ||
| So they were right. | ||
| Then it's like it's confirming. | ||
| What? | ||
| They're confirming that they were right. | ||
| Oh, well, yeah, in a sense. | ||
| They already think. | ||
| Yeah, you went nuts. | ||
| This guy's already, he's out there, I don't know what he's doing. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| He's telling jokes. | ||
| He's telling jokes. | ||
| I got introduced like, yeah, this is my nephew who graduated from college, the one who said he's going to go tell jokes. | ||
| Like it's a joke? | ||
| Yeah, I got introduced to that. | ||
| Tell him how much Kevin Hart makes. | ||
| I said, tell those people how much Kevin Hart makes. | ||
| Yeah, this was before Kevin. | ||
| Tell them how much Jamie Foxx made. | ||
| Tell them how much, I mean, fill in the blank. | ||
| Go to Martin Lawrence, work your way up. | ||
| A million different fucking comedians. | ||
| Graduating from college is a less likely scenario than if you're actually funny, making a lot of money doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Now you're at the point where people be like, this is all you do? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah. | ||
| And they're like, oh, snap. | ||
| They realize now that you're doing well. | ||
| I was in the Dominican Republic. | ||
| And they was like, what you doing? | ||
| I was like, I talk to people for a living. | ||
| And they were like, that's all? | ||
| I was like, yeah. | ||
| Well, sort it. | ||
| You gotta write some shit down. | ||
| You gotta figure out what's funny about what you're about to say. | ||
| It's a little more complicated than that, but yeah, at the end of the day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| I call it communication. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, at this level, the level I'm at, it's interesting now because I'm in a weird space as far as stand-up. | ||
| Weird space? | ||
| To me? | ||
| How so? | ||
| Not as far as the show business, should I say. | ||
| Show business. | ||
| How so? | ||
| Because it's a place in show business where art meets the business part. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And that's when it gets interesting. | ||
| That's when the fight begins. | ||
| Of like, you know... | ||
| What platforms can this be allowed on? | ||
| Or, okay, you're going to put me on a show with five people. | ||
| I want to do a show with just myself, you know, and those things. | ||
| Or, you got agents now, and you ask them to book you, and then you don't hear from them for five months. | ||
| You know, so... | ||
| That was the weird part of just learning that part of the show business. | ||
| Navigating the waters of sharks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Daniel Tosh and I were at the improv. | ||
| Name drop. | ||
| Watch me. | ||
| We were at the improv the other night. | ||
| And there was this one dude who was a manager. | ||
| He was kind of a shifty character. | ||
| And Daniel came over and he was like, that guy gives me the creeps. | ||
| And I tell him, I go, you know what that guy said to me once? | ||
| He said to me, you're the one that got away. | ||
| And he said, dude, he said the same fucking thing to me. | ||
| And then Tosh even tweeted it to me. | ||
| With a bunch of S's at the end of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's gonna be those guys, but if you find someone that's good, you develop a good relationship with a good agent and a good manager, it's like everything else, man. | ||
| You can come to Hollywood and meet a bunch of crazy actors, or you can meet a bunch of artists. | ||
| You can meet a bunch of people that are completely out of their fucking mind, full of shit, doing meth, doing Adderall all day, promising you the world, never delivering shit, or... | ||
| You can meet some of the people that you and I know from the Comedy Store. | ||
| You're in a family. | ||
| You're part of the Comedy Store family. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| You go down there and there's so many of us. | ||
| I mean, I hate to keep bringing it up, but it's a goddamn love fest at that place, you know? | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| It's beautiful, right? | ||
| People are like, oh, that's weird. | ||
| The energy is bad. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| I'm like, it's a frat in a way, you know? | ||
| It's a thing. | ||
| It's a different place, for sure, than it's ever been before. | ||
| But there's no bad energy at the Comedy Store. | ||
| That's a goddamn hug fest. | ||
| Well, I felt a little something when I first went there. | ||
| That's probably uncomfortable. | ||
| You know what brought me to the store, honestly? | ||
| Because I started in the urban rooms and they didn't want to book me because it was too experimental, my style. | ||
| So I was like, I'm going to try to get in the comic store. | ||
| And I was like, I broke into clubs before I know how tough it is or whatever. | ||
| And they was like, you can't go there. | ||
| They don't let black comics in. | ||
| They racist. | ||
| And I was like, they racist? | ||
| I was like, man, I've been dealing with racism my whole life. | ||
| That's easy. | ||
| That's a mental thing. | ||
| And that's what I did. | ||
| Did you think the comedy show was racist? | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Like, a lot of black comics were saying that when I got here. | ||
| Well, it's a different, you know, it's a different style, first off, and racism is mental. | ||
| Like, you know, to me, Hollywood is racist. | ||
| You go in a room and be like, too light, too dark, too tall, too short, too fat. | ||
| But then it's sexist, then it's ageist, then it's sizist. | ||
| Like, they don't like fat people. | ||
| There's a lot of things that Hollywood is, but it's because they're trying to fill a part. | ||
| They have an idea in their head of what it's going to be. | ||
| And I'm like, if you let that get to you... | ||
| I went through so much mentally that I was like, that ain't gonna stop. | ||
| That's nothing. | ||
| But yeah, but still, if they were racist, they still wouldn't hire you. | ||
| Like, it's not... | ||
| What the comedy store is, is they get a lot of pressure to be more, you know, this, more diverse, more... | ||
| I know, I've seen it, I've talked to them about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what they try to do is just book the funniest people. | ||
| That's what they always try to do. | ||
| Just before the guy was booking, it was fucking crazy. | ||
| But in his idea, he probably thought he was doing the right thing. | ||
| He did. | ||
| That's how I made it through that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Made it through him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So everything else was easy. | ||
| I sat there and listened to the talks. | ||
| You could let it affect you, or you could be like... | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Well, people don't know that that stopped like, what, like two years ago? | ||
| That guy stopped working there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And from then on, it's become a completely different environment. | ||
| It's insane now. | ||
| It's so much better. | ||
| And I'm glad I'm a part of it. | ||
| Like, as far as making the cut because... | ||
| The talent, as far as what people got going on, I still feel like a regular comic compared to what the people I'm on stage with now. | ||
| And that says something about me, how I feel confident-wise, but it also let me know, like, you know, I gotta get, you know, whatever else I need to get done, done. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I should be, like, amongst the big boys. | ||
| I feel like I should be amongst the big boys. | ||
| A monster big boy? | ||
| Amongst the big boys. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Amongst the big boys. | ||
| Because after a while you do rooms and you're the funniest person in the room and that can make you cocky. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then one night somebody don't show up or somebody don't want to follow Joe Rogan and you have to follow Joe Rogan and then you learn What season is on a different level. | ||
| And you can't cheat your way of being seasoned in anything. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You gotta put your time in. | ||
| You gotta put your time in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and that's one of the things the comedy store has always been very good at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Giving guys opportunities because of the fact that also there's a bunch of people on it at night. | ||
| There might be, you know, how many people on an average lineup? | ||
| It's like 13 or 14 people? | ||
| 12. 12? | ||
| It's 12? | ||
| I think. | ||
| So 12 people doing 15-minute sets and the show goes on all night. | ||
| So you're gonna get some opportunities if you're a young guy or young girl to go on like right after Chris D'Elia or right after, you know, a Joey Diaz or Ron White. | ||
| You get a chance to see these people take these tough spots after they just watched. | ||
| You go on after Ron White, you're going on after someone these people love. | ||
| They love that guy. | ||
| They come to see him. | ||
| They're excited when he's there. | ||
| They're all googly-eyed. | ||
| That was their time. | ||
| If Ron White's at the Comedy Store, there's a good chance that a bunch of people in the audience came there specifically to see him. | ||
| So if you go on right after him, you have to introduce them to the world of Byron Bowers. | ||
| It takes a little time. | ||
| You've got to ease them in. | ||
| You've got to relax them. | ||
| Now, Ron's gone. | ||
| I know he's only here for 15 minutes, but he's gone. | ||
| And now I'm going to come up. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| It's a very very unique environment in that sense because it gives us a chance to also see how other people do that and also see I mean you're gonna get a chance to see 12 different people's styles if you sit there the whole night. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| It's so much difference in their style and so funny so much I mean big difference between you who's really funny and a guy like Michael Costa who's already really funny or As well. | ||
| Really funny. | ||
| But when you look at the two of you guys together, what you both have in common is that you both have this really cool potential. | ||
| And you might see that ten times that night. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And it's weird because Tommy told me this. | ||
| He was like, look, we started you in the belly. | ||
| We're going to put you in the late night. | ||
| He broke the whole thing down for me. | ||
| He's like, your stuff is regional, right? | ||
| He's like, I'm going to put you in front of these international people at two o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| And what happened was I started learning how to communicate what I thought was funny versus tell jokes. | ||
| And then he said, by the time we put you in the main room with these guys to do theaters, you will learn how to perform in front of a group of people between 200 and 20,000. | ||
| By the time you master these rooms. | ||
| So he, and to me, like, regardless, I listen to what people say he told to them, but he didn't have no conversations with me. | ||
| He just made it, it just prolonged what I thought I was ready for. | ||
| But by the time I got to the main room, and I'm used to doing these intimate or alty rooms, and I'm performing behind, like, you or Louie, and I'm seeing, like, oh, this is a broader audience, and I gotta perform, I gotta walk the stage, I gotta, I can't do it like I've been doing it. | ||
| In the OR. I gotta up the ante. | ||
| It made me grow as a comic. | ||
| And I tell people now, like, yo, you perform in the main room at midnight, you're gonna be just as strong as somebody who does it at 8 o'clock by the time it's all over. | ||
| And when you go to another club and you get an 8 o'clock spot, Boom! | ||
| You're going to kill it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like running with weights on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I just taped CISO for this HBO. I was at Just for Laugh and I did that gala show they have there. | ||
| And we had to do a warm-up show. | ||
| And my warm-up was so strong, I had to close the taping. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I had to close the taping. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Because they had me, like, up at a certain time. | ||
| Oh, you had to close the show. | ||
| Yeah, I had to close the taping. | ||
| And I didn't want to close the taping, but in their mind, they was like, no, you strong enough to do this. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And my first time went to Montreal, I went to first doing my audition. | ||
| Montreal Comedy Festival? | ||
| Yeah, the first time I did, the callback that got me to Montreal, I went up first, and I didn't want to go up first, but the set was so strong, it affected the next three comedians after me, because people were just staring at them. | ||
| And when you do content... | ||
| But did it affect them, or did they just not be that good? | ||
| That's a lot of what it is, right? | ||
| It's like if someone sees you kill, one of the big things that happens, and one of the beautiful things about the comedy story, about what you're talking about going on after all these different people that are killing, is you learn how to relax. | ||
| There's a lot of what happens is when a guy has to go on after someone that's really strong, is that they panic. | ||
| And when they panic, they can't even be themselves, which is not as funny as that guy. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I used to feel that was a big thing that happened to me. | ||
| I would always go on after, there's a ton of guys that are going after, but one of the ones who I'd always bomb after was Martin Lawrence. | ||
| He was just too good back then. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| He was too good and too famous and too popular, and he would do like 45 minutes, and then I would do whatever, like 15 minutes after him. | ||
| And I always bombed, but I always that was the spot that I got and I realized like a bunch of things I would see hear my own jokes come out and knew they were not good Like I didn't think they were good. | ||
| Yeah, so I realized like okay. | ||
| I've got a like change Pretty much everything about my approach. | ||
| Because what I'm doing is I got comfortable. | ||
| I found like a little area that I could sort of write and perform in. | ||
| These are the jokes that I've sort of got and tried to work with. | ||
| And I didn't try to expand enough. | ||
| And when you get stuck into a situation where you have to kind of duke it out for survival, it makes you reassess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Like, why is all this bad? | ||
| Like, what's going wrong? | ||
| People don't like doing that. | ||
| Because everybody wants to think they're a finished product. | ||
| That's the comfort zone, right? | ||
| Everybody wants to stay inside their comfort zone. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I'm pretty happy with the way things are. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But if you do that, it's going to take too long. | ||
| If you really want to be like a Martin Lawrence, you're not going to do it by being comfortable. | ||
| It's just not going to happen. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's why I came up to you that night. | ||
| I had to follow you and was like, yo... | ||
| That was some heavy weights right there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| All for long, just content. | ||
| Like, yeah, just the content and life experiences. | ||
| I'm learning like, okay, if I tell these stories about my dad's schizophrenia and stuff, they don't even have to be the funniest. | ||
| They're just so interesting. | ||
| They hold weight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That if a funny guy come up and talk about relationships, people still gonna be like, man, that last shit was crazy. | ||
| But when I started doing that, people weren't just coming up to me saying, you funny no more. | ||
| They were just like, man, I know what that's like because my aunt is paranoid schizophrenic. | ||
| And to me, that's the universe saying, aha, now you onto something. | ||
| But that only comes through failure. | ||
| To me, like, you improved through failure. | ||
| Like, the light bulb was invented through failure. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Not through getting it right the first time. | ||
| It took 10,000 times for that thing to get perfect, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think also, I think a big part of what you just said that's important is you were talking about the way it feels when you're listening to it. | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| Your standard relationship stuff that it's something that's in some ways more enticing, right? | ||
| It's an interesting subject. | ||
| Like, oh, schizophrenia. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Like, there's something, there's weight to it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's honest. | ||
| It's honest. | ||
| Like, my Black Lives Matter stuff is honest, and it's not gonna get me liked by people, but it's how I feel. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Even to me, it's a little messed up how I feel about the situation. | ||
| But it's honest at the moment how I feel about it. | ||
| How do you feel about it? | ||
| Can you talk about it? | ||
| Well, I can, but to me, the worst part of me about the video is that he got shot in front of a Toyota Camry. | ||
| And I'm like, that's how shallow I am. | ||
| If it was me, I would have found a Benz or something to crawl near. | ||
| Just because I know it's going to look good because I'm about to go viral. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I want to look good before I get turned into a hashtag because that's what the police are doing is turning niggas into hashtags. | ||
| And I turn to somebody that looked white and I'm like, you know the average lifespan for a young black man, 25, but hashtags live forever. | ||
| So it's the thing about field depth and shallowness and like that's the complexity of like my bits but I have to admit and that's a true how I really felt you know when he hit the car and I was like oh that the car was bouncing I'm like look at the suspension on that. | ||
| But that's what makes it funny to people. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's what makes it funny to people. | ||
| But I have to learn to, you know, as artists, we learn. | ||
| And you do this, you learn to let go of those things. | ||
| But the more work I don't get, the more honest I become. | ||
| Because you stop really trying to fit in. | ||
| You don't care if they trying to book a nice black guy no more. | ||
| You get past, you take another jacket off, you take another shirt off until you're just up there with no shirt on. | ||
| Like, look, I'm in my 30s. | ||
| I got wrinkles right here now. | ||
| But I never got laid more in my life. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's just honest, like, ugh. | ||
| And it's something relieving. | ||
| It's something whatever. | ||
| From a kid who was quiet growing up and held everything in, it's such a release into being able to put this stuff out. | ||
| Yeah, that's probably something a lot of people don't understand, right? | ||
| Do you feel a lot of people don't understand that? | ||
| Like, that where you're coming from is not just where you are now, but it's where you started out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're taking particular joy in your freedom. | ||
| It's particularly unusual, the way you're expressing yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's that vulnerability that people talk about. | ||
| But as I grow as a person, my comedy has grown. | ||
| Yeah, it's got to happen. | ||
| It doesn't happen. | ||
| I read something the other day on Jen Kirkman, and she was talking about comedy is one of those things you actually do get better at when you get older, and it's one of those things, a rare thing for women, too, that they're still like a 40-year-old woman doesn't have a lot of opportunity as an actress. | ||
| You can kind of play some mom roles and stuff like that as far as to lead something. | ||
| But a 40-year-old comic... | ||
| Like, a lot of them are just kind of getting started. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Like, look at Sarah Silverman. | ||
| She's better now than ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| And she's like, what is she, like, 46 or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's fine. | |
| Like, everything. | ||
| Like, attractive. | ||
| Sexiness with a woman, like, it just grows on them. | ||
| It's not the way you look. | ||
| It's the way you carry yourself and the way you move when you talk. | ||
| So you're trying to say you're a fan. | ||
| You're sending out the bat signal? | ||
| No, I mean, I told her that before, but I'm talking about all women now. | ||
| You told her that before? | ||
| Yeah, I told her she was an attractive-looking woman, you know what I mean? | ||
| I've been in the green room with her, respected the boundaries, you know what I mean? | ||
| Not stared at her while she looked down at her notebook and worked on her bits. | ||
| She's a very nice person, too. | ||
| Yeah, she's nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's very friendly. | |
| She's nice outside of that. | ||
| Don't get all feminist and shit. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| She's real friendly, too. | ||
| And by the way, I'm talking about all women with that. | ||
| Ladies, if you have self-esteem problems, like we all do, and don't think, oh, because your hair doesn't look a certain way, it's all there. | ||
| But it kind of comes when you stop giving a fuck. | ||
| You mean sexiness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In some ways, yeah, because people that are super nervous about every aspect about them, they're draining. | ||
| They're exhausting because you know that there's a lot going on there. | ||
| There's too much chaos. | ||
| It doesn't allow you to be comfortable. | ||
| When someone's comfortable in their own skin and they don't give a fuck, it's like, oh, I kind of like being around you. | ||
| You relax me. | ||
| You let me know that it's okay to not give a fuck. | ||
| That's the benefit of the true not give a fuck people. | ||
| True not give a fuck people make you appreciate things better. | ||
| Women say I look sexy now, and it's like, what? | ||
| Who are they? | ||
| Why are they lying to you? | ||
| I don't know why they lying. | ||
| It's some energy they feel, and I don't believe them, because to me, I'm still that kid. | ||
| No, look, you're a talented guy. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| My mom's still that kid with the scar on his face and the crooked teeth, you know? | ||
| Well, you're a handsome black gentleman, and you're funny as shit. | ||
| Do I smell good, though, Joe? | ||
| You smell like roses? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I hear. | ||
| But, you know, I mean, talent is a big thing too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see a lot of talented people in all sorts of different businesses. | ||
| Even like businessmen. | ||
| Like a businessman is, well, she's just after him for his money. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You know, maybe that guy has that really beautiful wife because they're just after him for his money. | ||
| Or maybe they're attracted to his talent for being successful. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a little bit of that, too. | ||
| It's not just the money. | ||
| I don't think women would be as attracted to a guy who just won the lottery and got $500 million as they would to some guy who's some media mogul who started his own business, built it up into an empire, and now has $500 million. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Those guys are different. | ||
| They have that wizard air about them. | ||
| Like Elon Musk. | ||
| Do you know how much pussy Elon Musk must have to beat away from him? | ||
| How many girls are just... | ||
| Bombing on him. | ||
| Just constantly. | ||
| Because he's a super genius multi-billionaire with several successful businesses. | ||
| He invented fucking PayPal. | ||
| He's built his own cars that run on electricity. | ||
| He's making a fucking rocket ship to go to the moon. | ||
| He's making a Hyperloop that's going to go to San Francisco in 30 seconds. | ||
| Or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And I'm still questioning. | ||
| I looked at his stock today. | ||
| I still question, should I get it? | ||
| But a part of me is like, this is going to be like the neck of General Electric. | ||
| That's what I'm telling people in my mind. | ||
| The thing he's going to do with energy, you know? | ||
| He's doing that with everything. | ||
| He's a super winner. | ||
| There's certain guys that are just super winners. | ||
| And he seems to come without any of the baggage that most super winners come with. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of baggage that most of these, like, crazy entrepreneur-type characters, they're also geniuses, come with. | ||
| He doesn't seem to... | ||
| He's, like, remarkably stable for someone who's that fucking smart and successful. | ||
| He's like a goddamn alien, that guy. | ||
| It's weird, because I hear chicks talk about the Silicon Valley guys who made money now. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| They said, yeah, they're nerds, but now they got money and power. | ||
| So they act like that. | ||
| When you see them out, they're 10 women, you know what I mean? | ||
| Kissing all on their neck and acting like the guys who used to beat them up, the jocks, you know what I mean? | ||
| They get bullied. | ||
| But if you look at the Warren Buffetts and the Bill Gates and the guys who were just like, yeah, this is my lady right here. | ||
| Spent all my other time working on algorithms. | ||
| But it's a new day now, you know? | ||
| Warren Buffett still lives in the same fucking house in Omaha. | ||
| Yeah, me and Hannibal was in that neighborhood. | ||
| Did you see his house? | ||
| Nope, but we Airbnb'd a property and they stared at us. | ||
| When you Airbnb a property in that community and you have to have a cookout at 5 o'clock in the morning, you're going to get some stares the next day. | ||
| You had a cookout at 5 o'clock in the morning? | ||
| Yeah, a show after party and then... | ||
| Was it like, were you making a lot of noise or something? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Just the average noise that, you know, people make after they leave the club. | ||
| That's pretty loud. | ||
| You know, stumbling around. | ||
| Five o'clock in the morning? | ||
| That shit would be annoying as fuck if you lived next door to that house and, you know, you're trying to get some sleep. | ||
| I think so, probably. | ||
| I mean, the house across the street had three Volvos in the driveway. | ||
| I was like, oh, that's a lot of safety. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lot of white people. | ||
| They must be furious at you for waking them up. | ||
| I don't know if we woke them up, but the grill was outside. | ||
| So they could smell it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had Chilean baths, and we came with an appetite. | ||
| But don't you think that that was probably pretty loud? | ||
| Like, how loud were you guys? | ||
| I don't think it was that loud, but I fell asleep. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But we did turn people away, though. | ||
| How many people are there? | ||
| I don't think it'll probably be like five or seven. | ||
| More came, but... | ||
| That's chaos. | ||
| Five or seven people that are awake at five o'clock in the morning? | ||
| Those people are probably lit up, loud as fuck, barbecuing. | ||
| Doesn't bother you? | ||
| I slept well. | ||
| It don't bother me, but at the same time, I don't... | ||
| If I look at it from my neighborhood, my Latin neighborhood that I live in, and they bring that bouncy castle over and they play the mariachi at five o'clock in the morning... | ||
| Which happens. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| I'll be like, oh, okay. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I don't hate on them, though. | ||
| Right, but that's the neighborhood that you chose to live in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| That's what they do. | ||
| Like, you're saying you live in a Mexican neighborhood? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mexican people have some fucking parties. | ||
| They got roosters in my neighborhood. | ||
| You just got a deal. | ||
| They go off at 5 a.m., 3 a.m. | ||
| in the morning. | ||
| Dude, my gardener had the son of one of my dogs. | ||
| My gardener's a friend of mine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's cool as fuck. | ||
| Doesn't speak very much English, but he's cool as fuck. | ||
| He's got like a hundred fucking roosters. | ||
| A hundred of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In his yard. | ||
| His yard is like a chicken fighting ring. | ||
| Chicken fighting is different, man. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Like, you tell people that you know somebody that fights dogs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they look at you like, what a monster. | ||
| What a horrible person. | ||
| Because dogs are really complex and... | ||
| They love you, and they give you unconditional love, and for you to violate that and making them fight each other is fucked up. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I agree with it 100%. | ||
| I'm not saying that. | ||
| But you tell people that you know somebody who fights chickens, and they go, really? | ||
| Like, they don't even get grossed out. | ||
| I mean, there's some super vegans who probably get really pissed off or animal rights activists, but the average person doesn't give a fuck about a chicken. | ||
| If those chickens are fucking each other up with spurs on, they put razor blades on their back feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they cut each other up. | ||
| I noticed that. | ||
| I saw a tape before Vic went down of a recruitment training tape. | ||
| And that was my first time seeing the animals electrocuted and how they breed them and stuff like that. | ||
| This was a real tape that was going around the hood because people was fighting these animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know people that executed dogs that I'm closely friends with, you know what I mean? | ||
| And it's very, you know, interesting situation. | ||
| But once again, you talking about people who was like, oh, we was treated worse than that, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's still that innately that's in you, but it's shocking when people come out against dogs like that. | ||
| And that's why you have certain communities like, oh, what? | ||
| We get shot by the cops or, you know, and all this other stuff. | ||
| Well, there's certain communities where dogfighting is super normal, too. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, it's normal. | ||
| But I don't mean normal in that it's, like, less offensive than how the adult human beings are treated in that neighborhood. | ||
| I mean, it's a part of the culture. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In the South, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I know a dude who had like 30 dogs. | ||
| He used to keep 30 dogs in his yard. | ||
| He's a professional pool player. | ||
| He had a big-ass yard down in... | ||
| I think he was in Kentucky. | ||
| And he... | ||
| That was part of what he gambled on. | ||
| He had dogs that they would train and they would fight him. | ||
| You know, and... | ||
| The person that I am right now looks at that and goes, well, that's a fucking terrible thing to do. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| That should be absolutely illegal. | ||
| But him, whatever his life was like, him growing up in wherever he grew up, that was a normal thing. | ||
| So I absolutely judge them. | ||
| I absolutely judge anybody that does that. | ||
| But it's weird. | ||
| But I understand. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| And to me, I think understanding comes from me personally. | ||
| If we could really assess ourselves and look at our demons and accept our demons, Right? | ||
| For how bad, like, that we could possibly do some real fucked up things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Then it would make us judge each other less, and then a conversation could be had to try to understand. | ||
| But, yeah, it's certain things that you see, that you accept, depending on where you are. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, and well in a lot of ways then what you're saying is like those those principles of life and those things that you're talking about like these different patterns that you see in Electronics or in the universe you kind of see that in life You see that in comedy too, right? | ||
| Like exactly what you were talking about in comedy like having go through Things, making mistakes, making things like really obvious and then realizing, whoa, I got to look at this for what it really is. | ||
| Versus people who look at things through a distorted perception. | ||
| Like most of the people that you know that have distorted perceptions of their own abilities or distorted perceptions of their own life or where they fit in in the world, those are the people that don't progress because they're not looking at themselves. | ||
| They're not taking these assessments of themselves accurately, so they're not moving forward. | ||
| They stay where they're at because they think that where they're at with whatever they're trying to do is good enough or is perfect or is better than it really is. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But, yeah, and what I learned from my last, my acid trip, that the one you saw me the day after is that, in art and our genes, because I saw idea or I saw conception, what I told you, it moves everything forward. | ||
| Like, art moves everything forward. | ||
| You have a child or you have an idea that moves the culture or the human species and everything continues to evolve and move forward. | ||
| Without those things, we continue to make the same mistakes or we're stuck with certain things. | ||
| Yeah, we're fueled by these things that we create. | ||
| Whether they're innovation, or whether they're a piece of art, a movie, you know? | ||
| We're fueled by these things. | ||
| And sometimes in a negative way. | ||
| I mean, how many people have you met that act like a movie? | ||
| Like they think, they say things like they're in a movie. | ||
| Oh yeah, a bunch of people. | ||
| I know a dude who got into a fight with another dude, and as they were scrapping, like as they're about to fight, he goes, tonight we dine in hell. | ||
| He yelled that out at him. | ||
| And the dude told me, I'm like, are you fucking serious? | ||
| He's like, yeah. | ||
| He really said that to me. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| And the guy was like, what? | ||
| Did you fucking say tonight we died in hell? | ||
| And so they get in a fight and the guy who didn't say that turned out to be a really good wrestler. | ||
| So the whole thing was a disaster for the other guy. | ||
| Well, that guy did dine in hell. | ||
| The guy who said that dined in hell that night. | ||
| Well, he thought he was in a fucking movie or something. | ||
| I mean, he was drunk, too. | ||
| There's a lot going on, right? | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| But it's just that movies create these scenarios in people's minds that they almost want to reinvent in the real world if a similar situation presents itself, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You really think you could say something that fucking stupid? | |
| I mean, I've said some things before that sound poetic. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And, you know, especially The Throes of Passion, you know? | ||
| The Throes of Passion by Byron Bowers. | ||
| Oh, that even sounds poetic, you know what I mean? | ||
| That should be the title of your first Netflix special, The Throes of Passion by Byron Bowers. | ||
| And you just sitting there with your legs crossed with like some nice slippers on in front of a fire. | ||
| That's what I call it now. | ||
| I'm reading a book. | ||
| That's what I call it now. | ||
| I don't even say fucking no more. | ||
| I call it because I feel I do something a little more... | ||
| A little more creative? | ||
| A little more different. | ||
| I don't call it creative. | ||
| There's a lot more involved. | ||
| Yeah, there's a little more passion involved. | ||
| So you're trying to separate yourself? | ||
| Like you're branding your style of fucking? | ||
| I wouldn't do that. | ||
| That'll be interesting. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking right there. | ||
| Well, you think about how many different kinds of music there is. | ||
| There's only one kind of fucking. | ||
| Music is a style of expressing what's going on inside your mind, your imagination. | ||
| So is fucking in a lot of ways. | ||
| We should have different classifications for fucking. | ||
| I mean, we kind of do. | ||
| We have basic bitch-fucking, which is like missionary, little kisses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gorilla-fucking. | |
| Gorilla-fucking. | ||
| Yeah, that's very important. | ||
| You need a couch, you gotta stuff them in the corner of the couch. | ||
| That's what gorilla-fucking is about. | ||
| You gotta grab ahold of things. | ||
| You gotta be able to get some traction. | ||
| You might want to keep your shoes on. | ||
| You need some traction. | ||
| I got this Nike rope that's leather. | ||
| Well, these shoes are weird. | ||
| And I... I pulled it out on this young lady and I put it around her neck like you would a puppy, like a leash. | ||
| And she was like, what are you doing? | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| That's the exact right thing to ask. | ||
| And I was like, I'll show you. | ||
| Get up and try to move when she got to try to move. | ||
| I yanked it like that. | ||
| But yeah, she liked it, and it turned her on. | ||
| And then to the fact where she wanted it around her neck, and I put it around her neck, and the more I, you know, pulled... | ||
| It's a white girl, right? | ||
| I don't know what to say, but... | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, gotta be, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| Jewish, probably, you know what I mean? | ||
| So... | ||
| Super liberal. | ||
| Jews and blacks. | ||
| As I'm pulling it, she got more turned on. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And then she died. | ||
| So she started licking my thing. | ||
| And I got to a point. | ||
| Because I'm a skinny dude. | ||
| She started licking your arm. | ||
| I'm a skinny dude. | ||
| So my wrist was shaking like this. | ||
| And in my mind, I was like, this ain't me. | ||
| You know. | ||
| And then I just let the ropes go. | ||
| You followed your instincts. | ||
| Your instincts were to not kill her. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Oh, she wasn't going to die. | ||
| I don't think I'm that strong. | ||
| I think you could definitely kill someone with a belt around their neck. | ||
| No, it's a leather rope. | ||
| Well, it's kind of like the same thing, isn't it? | ||
| Leather rope, a belt. | ||
| What kind of leather? | ||
| Very good. | ||
| Very good leather, you know what I mean? | ||
| Very good leather. | ||
| It seems like you could definitely kill somebody with a rope around their neck. | ||
| It would hurt if you hit them with the leather, you know. | ||
| But then you can kill them. | ||
| If you could, like, pull hard enough, you could kill somebody with any kind of, like, thin wire. | ||
| I think I could probably kill someone with a bootlace. | ||
| That's probably true. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I could. | ||
| That's probably true. | ||
| Be careful out there, people. | ||
| If I got a good grip on it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| The human neck is real vulnerable. | ||
| You know, the weird part about that is having a condom on, you know, and then doing it at the same time. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, what part of this is safe? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| She's got ligature marks on her neck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Butt. | ||
| STD. She didn't get AIDS, but she still died. | ||
| STD free. | ||
| Yeah, rough sex is fucking strange, man. | ||
| You gotta be real careful with that. | ||
| Because if you do weird shit and beat each other up and the girl goes to the cops, you're fucked. | ||
| Yeah, especially not the same race. | ||
| And that's when black people be like, I told you! | ||
| I told you! | ||
| I was reading about this thing in Toronto. | ||
| There was this judge in Toronto that sentenced this man. | ||
| He was convicted of rape. | ||
| And he had consensual sex, in his opinion, with this woman. | ||
| And this woman had sent him these text messages saying, you know, come on over, let's have some savage sex and this and that. | ||
| And then afterwards, when he broke up with her, she decided, or after they had a bunch of these experiences, I forget how it works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Either way, she lied to the judge and to the court about sending those texts, because she had deleted them, but then they somehow or another recovered them, and they found out that she lied about that. | ||
| And she lied about a few other things, too. | ||
| But the judge started quoting all this feminist theory and quoting different feminist writers and wound up getting this guy convicted, which is beyond a reasonable doubt. | ||
| Like, as soon as someone says, I did not send him a text asking him for sex... | ||
| And then you find out they did in fact send that text asking them for sex and it deleted. | ||
| Well then you've got reasonable doubt. | ||
| Like instantaneously you have doubt because you have to go, okay, what about the rest of this stuff you're telling me isn't true? | ||
| I'm not saying that he didn't force her to give him a blow job or that he did. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wasn't there. | ||
| The judge doesn't know either. | ||
| But in my opinion, you instantaneously have to have reasonable doubt when you find out that someone's willing to lie about certain aspects of what happened. | ||
| So, I was watching this and I was listening to this woman from, what is that? | ||
| What's that conservative website? | ||
| The Blaze or something like that? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| That Glenn Beck thing? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Is that The Blaze? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She did this breakdown of it and I was like, God. | |
| It's so dangerous when you get involved with crazy people. | ||
| You're sticking your dick in crazy people. | ||
| You don't really know what's going to happen. | ||
| You're there choking that girl with a rope and she's licking your arm like, where's this going to escalate to? | ||
| Oh, easy. | ||
| A Volvo and a house of the kids. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's the only place to go. | ||
| Or she doesn't know that you've been snipped And you don't tell her that you can't get her pregnant, so you keep pumping lows into her, and you gotta keep ramping up the sex. | ||
| And so now she's wearing a helmet, and you're fucking driving her through a wall. | ||
| Oh, that'll be interesting right there. | ||
| But you're doing that to make her happy, but you really don't like it at all? | ||
| Yeah, both of you are confused. | ||
| She thinks it makes you happy, but you think it makes her happy, and you're just giving her CTE and throwing her head through wall board. | ||
| I mean, someone has for sure put a helmet on, and someone fucked them from behind and slammed their head through a wall. | ||
| That's 100%, right? | ||
| That's definitely happened. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| What are you looking up, Jamie? | ||
| I was looking up this case, but I stumbled across something I haven't seen before. | ||
| Did you know Canadian lawyers have to wear an outfit like this? | ||
| Thank God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So you know they're ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I looked up Canadian lawyers and they're all wearing it. | |
| Good Lord. | ||
| All the lawyers have to dress like that? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Look at this fucking outfit they have on. | ||
| They might as well be working at one of those reenactment restaurants, like Medieval Times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so stupid. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's why none of them are smart. | ||
| They got wigs, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| They are barristers. | ||
| Male barristers. | ||
| Make more than double. | ||
| They're female. | ||
| What does it say there? | ||
| It's dot dot dot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does it say? | |
| Do the female have to wear wigs too? | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| That would be bullshit. | ||
| Oh, they're female colleagues. | ||
| Male barristers with their ridiculous wigs. | ||
| That is goddamn hilarious. | ||
| That's in Australia, though, that you just pulled up. | ||
| Still, there's parts of the world that makes you wonder, like, what would happen if the United States hadn't been formed? | ||
| There's parts of the world that are still wearing wigs when they're doing their law stuff. | ||
| Ooh, she's hot as fuck. | ||
| Classic portrait of a woman in Canadian law. | ||
| She don't have to wear a wig, but the outfit looks better on her. | ||
| You want her to visit you in jail? | ||
| No. | ||
| She tells you I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't mean to convict you and I'm gonna work to get you out. | |
| She don't have no oatmeal. | ||
| She better not, she better come in a different outfit. | ||
| In jail you have to bring in oatmeal? | ||
| Yes, I mean she look like she would carry some Quaker steak. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Wait, Quaker steak is old. | ||
| Quaker steak. | ||
| Quaker oats. | ||
| Quaker oats. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's like some, that's a funny one, right? | ||
| Like what the fuck does pilgrims have to do with oats? | ||
| Did they grow the oats? | ||
| Is that what the deal is? | ||
| He's a Quaker. | ||
| He's not a pilgrim, right? | ||
| He's a Quaker. | ||
| Quaker Oats. | ||
| That's like saying, I'm gonna buy Mormon granola. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Imagine how many people would buy Scientology flakes. | ||
| Oh, that'll be dope. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, that's exactly what it is. | ||
| They're clear! | ||
| How about Catholic Crisp? | ||
| That's my morning cereal. | ||
| I enjoy Catholic Crisp. | ||
| Everybody eat out the same bowl? | ||
| Yeah, how can... | ||
| What is Quaker Oats? | ||
| It's religious cereal? | ||
| What? | ||
| What the fuck does a Quaker have to do with anything? | ||
| They didn't give a fuck about Quakers. | ||
| Quakers were so innocuous that they were willing to use them as props, like the way they sell Klondike bars with polar bears. | ||
| They used a Quaker just as a prop. | ||
| Wow, that was the first... | ||
| That was the first... | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Don't you think that's what they did? | ||
| That do make sense. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| I bet Quakers have fucking zero interest in Quaker Oats. | ||
| I bet they don't get paid. | ||
| I bet they get fucked over on the commissions. | ||
| I bet the Quaker Oats company keeps all the money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pepsi owns it now. | |
| There you go. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Those Quakers are out there going, what the fuck?! | ||
| This is ours! | ||
| This is our shit! | ||
| This is our outfit! | ||
| But you look at that outfit and you go, that's some wholesome oats. | ||
| I bet that oats doesn't even swear. | ||
| That oats doesn't drink. | ||
| That oats makes its own butter. | ||
| That oats lives in a nice nostalgic way in a field and they plow with a fucking like a regular mechanical plow and they do everything old school. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| My grandmother was telling about the cotton gin last time I went to sleep. | ||
| She's like 90, she's on her way out. | ||
| You were telling me about this. | ||
| We were in the back of the comedy store. | ||
| Yeah, it was interesting. | ||
| So she wasn't alive when the cotton gin was created, right? | ||
| Her mother was alive. | ||
| These are the stories she heard. | ||
| My grandmother was alive. | ||
| I was like, what drugs did y'all do when you were young? | ||
| And she said, aspirin just came out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| So that was the thing, you know what I mean? | ||
| You mean people took Aspen for recreation? | ||
| No, she was just like, that was just the thing outside of like, you know, homegrown, because they was farmers. | ||
| My grandmother was like, remind me of The Help, the movie The Help, you know? | ||
| The Hills? | ||
| The Help. | ||
| The Help? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know that movie. | ||
| It's like, it's about that black lady who raised a white family type thing. | ||
| What movie is that? | ||
| The Help. | ||
| Is that a recent movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Who was in it? | ||
| Who was in it? | ||
| Whoopi Goldberg. | ||
| White family raised by Whoopi Goldberg. | ||
| Hilarity ensues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Emma Stone was in it. | |
| Here's a picture. | ||
| What fucking movie is this? | ||
| The hell? | ||
| I have no idea what this movie is. | ||
| So my grandmother... | ||
| So those two black women raised those two white women? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Well, in a sense, in, like, the relationship that happened. | ||
| Like, I went to one of my grandmother's birthday parties. | ||
| I think she was, like, 80, and there was a white family there. | ||
| And I was like, who are these people? | ||
| And my family was like, shh, that's the family that your grandmother helped use the nanny for. | ||
| And they remained close because of, you know, she helped raise these young ladies, you know what I mean? | ||
| And they would fly my mom, my grandmother, out to Philly to spend time with them and stuff like that. | ||
| And it's an interesting, you know, situation. | ||
| So, just to hear these stories and, you know, my grandmother telling me about the cotton gin and She broke it down like, yeah, we'll take the cotton and take the seeds out and let it go. | ||
| And people were amazed by this. | ||
| They just watching it like, oh, like, that was the thing that people looked at, like, how people look at computers. | ||
| Like, oh, man, what are we going to do now? | ||
| Like the Napster revelation. | ||
| Yeah, like, what are we going to do for work? | ||
| Like, this thing is here to put us out of work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How people do a day's work and gotta, like she said once slavery ended and people had to get paid, how somebody, I don't know if it was her father, somebody did a job and they gave him a dime. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So now you're not getting lodging or food or nothing like that. | ||
| You gotta earn a wage and you get like a dime for doing like some heavy, you know, things. | ||
| This is blowing my mind amongst everything else that's going on, you know, in the world. | ||
| You know what's crazy? | ||
| That person living that life and making a dime and living in a modern, a semi-modern to us, you know, modern in its context, society, is doing so much better than someone who was born 200 years before that. | ||
| And so much better than someone, you know, any time prior to that. | ||
| So check this out. | ||
| My grandmother's 90. So the women on her side of the family are longer. | ||
| My grandmother's mother died at 107. So between them two, you got over, you know, you got like over 200 years. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| So, it's just an interesting time frame. | ||
| You know, when we look back at people that lived, like, a couple hundred years ago, we think to ourselves, like, fuck that. | ||
| You know, especially if you were a slave, or even if you were a free person living in America in 1810. Let's just go to 1810. Just a regular person. | ||
| Like, you and I don't want to do that. | ||
| You don't want to go back to that fucking life. | ||
| Like, good lord. | ||
| Good luck getting fresh milk. | ||
| Good luck finding vegetables in most cities. | ||
| Good luck getting everything delivered to you. | ||
| They don't even have cars yet, man. | ||
| Well, this is a good thing. | ||
| Since I was born in Athens, my first six years, and Athens is a small town where UGA is. | ||
| You've been to Athens before. | ||
| So everything I ate vegetable-wise was grown. | ||
| In that area? | ||
| In the yard, in the backyard. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| The grapes were on the vine, the tomatoes came out the ground, the chickens, you know, my grandfather hauled chickens, so the eggs came out of the backyard. | ||
| The hunting dogs, he shot deer. | ||
| We would fish on Saturdays, cut the fish heads off, get the skin off, and then fry them in the yard. | ||
| He took the grapes from the vines and made wine. | ||
| And if he caught an abundance of fish, he would keep enough for the family. | ||
| And all the neighbors traded food. | ||
| So my first six years is like, you know, when you're eight or ten, they put a pellet gun in your hand and you work your way up to the hunting rifles. | ||
| So that's what I left when I moved to the city. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So I was a country, so vegetables and everything tasted good. | ||
| You know, you would get the corn off the stalk, and corn wasn't yellow. | ||
| It was like a lighter color. | ||
| It was like a whitish color. | ||
| She'd make creamed corn from scratch. | ||
| The preserves, your jelly was made. | ||
| The rabbits, the squirrel, the pecans fell out of the tree. | ||
| You're hungry, you just go outside any time and grab food. | ||
| You grab two peanuts, squeeze them with your hand, and you got a snack, you know? | ||
| And that was the first, like, six years. | ||
| Like, food was there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Beans, you put them, you get a bucket, you open them, you run your thumb through them, which I didn't like none of that, but that's what it was. | ||
| Well, there's something beautiful about that, right? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| At this point, yeah. | ||
| At this point, because they're overcharging for that stuff now. | ||
| But farming is not easy. | ||
| But they made it look easy. | ||
| Well, it's large scale. | ||
| Everybody could do it like that. | ||
| You'd have to have small populations of people with good pieces of land. | ||
| Like, you know, I'm sure your grandfather had to have some. | ||
| My grandfather had a similar situation in New Jersey. | ||
| He had a pretty good-sized backyard, and it was all garden. | ||
| He had this area where he would drive to his driveway. | ||
| And then everything to the right of the driveway was all sticks in the ground and tomato plants. | ||
| And my grandfather grew everything. | ||
| And they turned their tomatoes into tomato sauce. | ||
| My grandmother made homemade tomato sauce. | ||
| And like all of his vegetables, he would grow everything that he would eat all year would be like in that garden. | ||
| That was a normal thing for the immigrants, you know? | ||
| For people who came here from other parts of the world where, you know, you had to have a supply of food where you lived. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I mean, it only makes sense. | ||
| We've figured out a way to truck things in, people have, you know? | ||
| Once we start trucking things in, nobody grows anything anymore. | ||
| I heard a story about people like my uncle and his friend are having money, and they put $300 together and bought a goat and ate off that goat. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| Yeah, they fed it a little bit, and then they ate off of it for like a month. | ||
| Yeah, if you kill a goat in your yard, though, and people find out about it, this is my friend, I don't need to say his name, but my gardener guy that I was talking about earlier. | ||
| Well, his name's Jose. | ||
| It's not like you don't know which Jose it is. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want to give away his identity. | ||
| And it's probably Jose Canseco. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| But this, he got a goat, and him and his friends killed it in the yard and butchered it, and then they had a cookout. | ||
| And the neighbor complained, apparently. | ||
| And he didn't understand. | ||
| Like, he was like, what are you, like... | ||
| What's bothering you about this? | ||
| He literally didn't understand. | ||
| He's like, it's safe. | ||
| It's healthy. | ||
| This is an animal. | ||
| I know where the meat's coming from. | ||
| He's trying to explain this to me in his broken English. | ||
| He's like, I know where this animal's meat comes from. | ||
| Why would anybody have a problem with that if you buy meat yourself? | ||
| He didn't understand. | ||
| He came from Mexico. | ||
| He just did not understand why someone would have a problem with him killing a goat in a yard. | ||
| It's like, of course I killed the goat in the yard. | ||
| Where do you want me to kill it? | ||
| It didn't make sense to him. | ||
| They're like, you can't kill a goat in the yard. | ||
| He's like, where the fuck do you kill your goat? | ||
| And they're like, you don't kill your goat. | ||
| Yeah, it's strange. | ||
| Well, where do you get your meat? | ||
| You go to the store. | ||
| He's like, but you don't know where that fucking meat even came from. | ||
| And his idea, that was alien. | ||
| It's the logic, man, of how things happen, man. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And you, like, yeah, if you talk to older people, you understand, like, struggle, you know. | ||
| And what people, you know, actually went through. | ||
| And the good part, like, you know, my grandma told me about the first dryer she had. | ||
| And my grandma is like, you know, don't use it once a month. | ||
| Once a month. | ||
| Yeah, because it's better to dry the linen in the sun. | ||
| It's still better to dry your clothes in the sun because the sun kills bacteria. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's why if you look at how to tie it, when they say how do you take care of denim and keep it from fading, they'd be like wet it and hang it in the sun because the sun kills the bacteria and gets rid of the smell. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Jeans fade because of bacteria? | ||
| No, you want to clean your jeans because it might get smells. | ||
| When you break it in jeans, you really don't wash them like that. | ||
| You know, you wear them just like everyday type stuff. | ||
| And the dye in a denim fades and the cotton shrinks and all that if you wash it. | ||
| So... | ||
| Hang them in the sun, you know? | ||
| To keep it from shrinking. | ||
| To keep it from shrinking. | ||
| Yeah, I thought it was heat, though, that was doing that. | ||
| Just the water and then the evaporation from the extreme heat from the dryer. | ||
| That's what makes them shrink, right? | ||
| Yeah, but if you hang it in the sun, the sun still kills some of the bacteria and stuff. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| If you have a dry... | ||
| We don't do it here, but I did something where I had to stay at a country home and you wash like a sheet or a shirt and you hang it in the sun and let the air hit it and it's just the freshness of the smell, you know. | ||
| And what was smart about this place, they put the lemon trees near the hanging place so now your clothes got a lemon smell to it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because of the wind that comes through. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That actually makes sense. | ||
| But if you're in a city and it's polluted... | ||
| Yeah, that's different. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| Yeah, your clothes might smell funky. | ||
| Like, that's the weirdest thing to me is when people around people who smoke cigarettes, how strong the smell is in their clothes. | ||
| They're strong. | ||
| Like, I never realized it until I would come home from back when you could smoke in clubs. | ||
| It was a big thing at comedy clubs, man. | ||
| I mean, everybody smoked. | ||
| It was just constant. | ||
| You would go to a bar, everybody smoked. | ||
| You would go to comedy clubs, everybody smoked. | ||
| And I remember not realizing what I smelled like, and then taking a shower, and then picking up my clothes, and being like, what the fuck? | ||
| Like, they stunk. | ||
| It smells bad. | ||
| That is a weird thing, man, that people have something that gives them cancer, and makes everyone around them stink. | ||
| Like, not even me! | ||
| I wasn't even smoking! | ||
| But being around those people made me stink. | ||
| And people were like, who cares? | ||
| I need my smokes. | ||
| I used to smell like gasoline when I had the 944 because they had a hairline crack in the gas tank. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So if you fill it all the way up, the fumes would get in the car. | ||
| My Barracuda, I used to have to drive with the window open. | ||
| Fucking terrible smoke and fumes and shit were getting in that car. | ||
| It was the worst smell. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| The gasoline smell. | ||
| I remember that car, and I met you, and I asked you about that car, and you really broke it down. | ||
| Kind of what, and it was like, oh, it's a real old school car. | ||
| Like, the problems that people I know had were old schools. | ||
| That car was built to look great. | ||
| That was the problem with that car. | ||
| The suspension, the setup, and everything was very low. | ||
| It was very low to the ground. | ||
| Because it was so low to the ground, it would bottom out on things. | ||
| It didn't handle very well because it wasn't designed for that. | ||
| It was just designed to be a really low car. | ||
| It was tubbed, so the back area where the back seat is was all cut out, and then the frame was welded and bent up so that the wheel tucked deep into the back wheel well. | ||
| It looks great, but it's stupid as fuck. | ||
| I watched it being made. | ||
| I learned with my friends who got old school cars, once you start, you just can't modify one thing with certain cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You know, especially when it comes to, like, suspension and wheels and not doing the brakes. | ||
| Well, you know what they do now that's really interesting? | ||
| They do these different companies have suspensions and frames that they build for these old cars. | ||
| Because that's one of the problems with those old cars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| The suspension and the frames, it's so whack. | ||
| They don't have fully independent suspension. | ||
| The way it's all set up is so old school. | ||
| So they have some upgrades, and that can definitely enhance the way these cars perform. | ||
| But now they do certain companies like Art Morrison. | ||
| They take a suspension and they build a frame and a... | ||
| Say if you were going to build a 1969 Mustang, they would build a frame and suspension for the 69 Mustang. | ||
| And then you take the old body and you bolt it down to this modern frame and suspension. | ||
| You have a car that performs infinitely better than the original car. | ||
| It's going to be way stiffer. | ||
| It's way better designed. | ||
| And then they have all these suspension improvements. | ||
| Now they've figured out a way to make... | ||
| Suspensions that adjust the way a modern car does, so it adjusts constantly, like thousands of times a second. | ||
| If you're driving a car, like if you say you get a brand new BMW 7 Series, those things are smooth as a baby's ass. | ||
| Just woo! | ||
| You drive them, they're so comfortable, man. | ||
| And one of the reasons why they're so comfortable is they're... | ||
| The suspension is constantly adjusting. | ||
| It's constantly adjusting to whether it's bumpy outside or smooth. | ||
| And every bump that it hits, it calibrates what it needs to do to adjust for this impact, and you get this incredibly stabilized ride. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I'm doing a shitty job of explaining. | ||
| There's a lot of people right now that are car experts like, You don't know shit about cars! | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| I know enough to kind of butcher that, but now they know how to do that with old school cars. | ||
| So they can take that 1969 Mustang and put a similar type of computerized suspension arrangement in it, where it's constantly adjusting to the terrain. | ||
| They're also figuring out how to do analog brakes on old cars. | ||
| They haven't figured out that totally yet. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| That's a little bit of a struggle. | ||
| A friend of mine, he builds and sells cars, but he knows exactly which ones he likes, like the 71 Chevelle. | ||
| He had the 68 Cobra, which I drove, and that was two cars as scary I drove. | ||
| The 68 Cobra Mustang, which he put $10,000 into the motor, and it was like over 500 horses. | ||
| And if it rained a little bit, for me, it had a Kenny Bell blower on it. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And that was my first experience with a supercharger and how hyped they are. | ||
| It's like, you could lose control of that car. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| And a Viper. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, I drove a Viper before. | ||
| Dude, I drove one of those once. | ||
| I rented one. | ||
| Out of LA. I got lucky. | ||
| And just in Idol, that car goes. | ||
| It just goes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Have you seen the new ones? | ||
| Yeah, I saw the new ones. | ||
| They have... | ||
| Pull this up. | ||
| They have this new Viper. | ||
| Viper AR something, I think it's called. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| Attack. | ||
| They have like an attack mode. | ||
| This thing is fucking insane. | ||
| It's basically a race car that you could buy. | ||
| But what they're doing with these Vipers is they're bringing them to these race tracks and it just breaks every record. | ||
| Every race track they take it on, this thing breaks records. | ||
| And it looks ridiculous. | ||
| Even in curves or just straight away? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah, curves. | ||
| It's got giant tires on it. | ||
| The tires are super wide and it's got more than 600 horsepower. | ||
| What is it called, Jamie? | ||
| ACR. ACR, that's it. | ||
| Dodge Viper ACR. You just gotta look at this thing. | ||
| The deep bevels in the hood. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| It's supposed to be just a fucking preposterous automobile. | ||
| And you could buy that at a store. | ||
| I mean, it has ground effects that come right out of a race car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this thing is insane. | ||
| When people review it, when they review it, that's like you on Topanga Canyon, going sideways. | ||
| Why not that far? | ||
| It was just a little bit. | ||
| You know, if you go a little bit, that's just long enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Less than a second is long enough. | ||
| Oh, for fun, yeah. | ||
| To... | ||
| You know what's a great road? | ||
| Play some more of that shit. | ||
| Don't shut it up. | ||
| You know what's a great road to go to? | ||
| There's a road off of the 2. Chris... | ||
| Yeah, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| I don't know the name of it. | ||
| It's a road off the 2, but if you take the 210, and you head towards Pasadena, and you go up into the mountains, there's these crazy abandoned roads where you might not have anybody out there except maybe a dude on a motorcycle. | ||
| And everything's like turny and twisty. | ||
| They do a lot of testing out there. | ||
| If you go out there, you'll see like mules, like a car that they cover, like they would take this car and then they would cover it over with like graphics and maybe even some plastic or something so you couldn't tell what it looked like. | ||
| I've seen that before. | ||
| It's kind of dope. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| Yeah, they're trying to get me to go up to... | ||
| Somebody's trying to get me to go up to the Crest Highway up there off the 2-1-2. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| You should go up there. | ||
| Go up there with your car. | ||
| Because you don't even have to drive fast to have a good time up there. | ||
| But I don't drive fast on any of them. | ||
| If there's a car in front of me, I might slow up and wait for it to go by. | ||
| But I'm doing like 40-40, which is a lot. | ||
| That's down to double for what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Yeah, well, with a car like this, you wouldn't be doing that. | ||
| You'd be going a lot faster. | ||
| That's the problem with these cars as opposed to like an old car. | ||
| Like, say if you got like an old BMW. You know what I really like? | ||
| 2002? | ||
| Yeah, I love those. | ||
| They're cool, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And they're little and they're boxy. | ||
| But when you drive those things, apparently you feel everything. | ||
| They're so small. | ||
| Oh, see this. | ||
| See if you can pull up the smoking tire 2002. Some dude had a souped up one, and not even souped up, like he put a giant engine. | ||
| It was just like a really well done version of that engine, but he's driving around in it. | ||
| I met Matt before. | ||
| Matt Farron? | ||
| Yeah, he came to Comedy Club twice. | ||
| Yeah, he's a big comedy fan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| He's a real good dude, and he fucking loves cars. | ||
| I know, look at that. | ||
| Give me some volume on this. | ||
| This is... | ||
| What I really like about him, too, is he's like a regular dude. | ||
| He's not trying to pretend to be some super professional presenter. | ||
| He's just a guy who knows a fuckload about cars and really loves them. | ||
| Look at this thing, man. | ||
| What year is that, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They build them properly, from what I can see. | |
| So this 2002 is... | ||
| No. | ||
| No, that's the name of the car, Jamie. | ||
| You think that car's from 2002? | ||
| Doesn't say what year? | ||
| I was running too. | ||
| Let's scoot ahead so you can hear what it feels like when he's driving this thing. | ||
| Yeah, here we go. | ||
| The M10 is an interesting motor because on the one hand it was sort of BMW's corporate engine at the time, but it actually made its way all the way up to Formula 1. A little too geeked out. | ||
| And they would use these used, seasoned M10 blocks to build their crazy turbo Formula 1 engines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And there's a really neat documentary about the history of the M10 engine. | |
| Pedals are great. | ||
| See, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| This dude is a serious geek when it comes to cars. | ||
| He really knows his shit, though. | ||
| You know what I like when he's in the car with the person who built the car? | ||
| How much time and money do you put in it? | ||
| He's like, man, I put all this time and this money and this energy in it. | ||
| And he's like, that's the prettiest, you're not going to find another car like this. | ||
| And he's like, we're about to drive it. | ||
| And he'll take off. | ||
| He'll be like, the brakes are a little squishy and the suspension a little off, but it's got a nice little pull to it. | ||
| He just start off with the disc, like just dishing it off the car. | ||
| No, he just is honest. | ||
| He's honest. | ||
| What year is it, Jamie? | ||
| 66 to 77. Dope little car, man. | ||
| Little fucking beer can, though. | ||
| You know, I had a chance, a pleasure to meet, and I used to drive around downtown in my 944 to see if I could find him at night. | ||
| Magnus? | ||
| Yeah, Magnus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a pleasure meeting. | ||
| Somebody was trying to get rid of a 928, and we went over there, and he showed us around. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| No, he's a real friendly guy. | ||
| His place is amazing too. | ||
| He has so many old Porsches. | ||
| I think he's got like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. He's probably got at least 10 of them. | ||
| No, it's more. | ||
| I counted like 17 just in the main room. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And he got some more like the 944s and 914s off to the side. | ||
| He's got a bunch of turbos too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Quite a few turbos now. | ||
| He really got into a turbo phase where he's buying like those 930 turbos. | ||
| Yeah, he's an interesting character, man, because his love of... | ||
| Oh, I see that. | ||
| His crash. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| Oh, boom. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah, that was really dumb. | ||
| You got a little silly. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He plowed into the back or the side of his car into the back of a giant, it looks like a car carrier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why you're not supposed to drive like that, Byron. | ||
| It's not supposed to go sideways on public roads. | ||
| I wasn't that side. | ||
| My ass wiggled a little bit. | ||
| I caught it. | ||
| His cars are all pretty reasonably horsepowered up too. | ||
| Magnus' cars. | ||
| He doesn't have anything really crazy. | ||
| But Sharkworx gave him one of their cars to drive around for a little. | ||
| And Sharkworx made an 800 horsepower GT2. And Magnus painted it like a different paint scheme. | ||
| He likes those crazy paint schemes. | ||
| I got a picture with that one. | ||
| Oh, that GT2? That was sitting outside. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That car scared the fuck out of me. | ||
| I drove that car. | ||
| Oh, for real? | ||
| Scared the fuck out of me. | ||
| It's one of the few cars where I drove it once. | ||
| I was like, eh, I'm good. | ||
| I'm like, this is too much. | ||
| I see yours, and I'm like, I'm good on that. | ||
| I just want a stock. | ||
| I like naturally aspirated because of the way it pulls at a certain time. | ||
| It's like taking a nice little breather in. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| That's the car. | ||
| That car is so fast. | ||
| It just doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| See, he's taking it around some corners here. | ||
| Actually, this is the exact same road where I took it. | ||
| I was there at this time. | ||
| I was there with them when they were doing this. | ||
| But this car is too fast. | ||
| It's too fast. | ||
| I mean, it's not maybe too fast for a race car driver, but too fast for a guy like me. | ||
| One of the cool things about that 2002 is you get to ring the engine out. | ||
| There's a lot of range where you can drive it. | ||
| You rev it up, and that's where you get your power, and you can go plenty fast in it. | ||
| The handling of those cars a lot of times is connected to the lightness and all the feel of the car is coming from the fact that there's not a lot there. | ||
| This car is a totally different experience. | ||
| This car is all about managing the pedal because if you stomp on the pedal, that fucking thing is going spinning. | ||
| It's way too powerful. | ||
| But, you know, it's one of those things where they keep coming up with new and improved cars every year. | ||
| Every year, cars get faster and faster and faster, especially performance cars. | ||
| They've broken the three-second barrier. | ||
| A lot of cars you could buy today go zero to 60 in less than three seconds. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| There's a gang of them. | ||
| I want to drive a Bugatti. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Or sit in one. | ||
| Not drive it, but just sit in one. | ||
| That might as well be a spaceship. | ||
| Those Veyrons? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, my homeboy, he built this 69 Shelby. | ||
| The 68 got damaged, so the insurance had to cut him a check, and he spent that money and built a 69 that I haven't drove, and he don't drive it as much because it's worth a lot of money. | ||
| Look at that, 1,200 horsepower. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's a ridiculous car. | ||
| I saw one of those the other day in Beverly Hills. | ||
| Someone was balling. | ||
| Was it the yellow one? | ||
| The yellow and black one? | ||
| No. | ||
| What color was it? | ||
| I don't remember what color. | ||
| I want to say it was white, but it had Arab license plates on it, which is really interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| They're getting these cars and these super rich dudes from Saudi Arabia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They bring them over for Saudi summer. | ||
| See, that's what's going on right now. | ||
| Where we are is hot as fuck. | ||
| Where they live is crazy. | ||
| It's way hot. | ||
| Where they live is like 150 fucking degrees or something nutty. | ||
| And so they come over here when they've got crazy oil money. | ||
| They come over here and they bring these cars with their plates that are registered to those other places. | ||
| And they drive them around and they get away with it because they're super rich. | ||
| Fuck is nothing. | ||
| Dude, did you see that shit that happened where these guys were racing in Beverly Hills? | ||
| They were racing with a Ferrari and a GT3, a Porsche GT3, and they were fucking racing on a residential street in Beverly Hills. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was... | |
| Flying through fucking red lights, and the neighbors saw them do it. | ||
| So the neighbors all were fucking furious. | ||
| They're all standing outside on their street, holding up their cameras, and filming these guys, right? | ||
| Here it is, right here. | ||
| Look at this guy's got them. | ||
| Oh, it's a Ferrari. | ||
| It looks like, I don't know which version, but in the GT3. I mean, these guys are flying down residential roads. | ||
| You got two things running at the same time, buddy. | ||
| You got two windows running. | ||
| But, um, so while these guys are doing this, the neighbors are aware of it, so they start filming. | ||
| Because they probably do it. | ||
| See, look at it, see everybody? | ||
| And then, so this car fucking started smoking. | ||
| The guy's engine started smoking, and he pulled it into his driveway. | ||
| But look at everybody standing out here with their fucking cameras. | ||
| They all realize, like, oh my god, this guy's a piece of shit. | ||
| Now, one cop inside, that's crazy to me. | ||
| But it's so funny, everybody's like, world star! | ||
| That car's gonna blow up. | ||
| Everybody's assuming that car's gonna explode. | ||
| So they're filming it. | ||
| Oh shit dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh they don't come in. | |
| So this guy was driving his car so fast and so hard that it caught on fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I'll never buy a fucking Ferrari, by the way. | |
| My people should not be designing things. | ||
| I saw a 918 with the Dubai plates on it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they had the nerve to put the silver metallic paint on it. | ||
| So not only bought an expensive car, they made the car look chrome. | ||
| Oh, I've seen that. | ||
| Justin Bieber had one of those. | ||
| He had a chrome Fisker. | ||
| How do I know that? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I'm friends with Jamie. | ||
| Jamie tells me these things. | ||
| The cops, and shout out to the cops in Beverly Hills, because they nice, you know. | ||
| I was coming through there. | ||
| A part fell off my Porsche that holds the alternator and the serpentine belt together. | ||
| So the car would just lose power. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So I'm riding through Beverly Hills. | ||
| I was going to the Summit. | ||
| It's a place on Mulholland Drive. | ||
| I was staying there. | ||
| And I'm in Beverly Hills with no lights on. | ||
| Just driving up the street. | ||
| And cops pull us over. | ||
| Turn off the car. | ||
| I can't turn off the car. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because it's not going to come back home. | ||
| But I turn it off. | ||
| They was like, what? | ||
| I'm like, let me explain to you what's going on. | ||
| There's a piece of me. | ||
| I'm trying to explain to them the mechanics. | ||
| They was like, no. | ||
| I was like, I'll get out the car and you can do whatever you need to do with me. | ||
| But if this car cuts off here, it's going to be here. | ||
| And I had my African homeboy who I just went to DR with me, right? | ||
| And he was like, hey, officer, what's going on? | ||
| He's like, I'm going to show you how powerful this thing is that I do. | ||
| And he's like, look, I work for the IRS. I work for the guy. | ||
| I'm visiting from Washington, D.C. I work for the national government. | ||
| The IRS? You know what he's saying? | ||
| The IRS. They should have shot him on sight. | ||
| So everybody's afraid, apparently. | ||
| The IRS? Yeah, they're terrified. | ||
| So he pulled the badge out, yada, yada, yada. | ||
| And then he was like, okay, you're free to go. | ||
| And somebody shrubs. | ||
| And, you know, there was a cop right there. | ||
| He was like, sir, you don't have to be so close in the bushes. | ||
| And I remember looking at him like, but sometimes it's fun having your face in the bush. | ||
| And I smiled and he was just like... | ||
| He was like, just step away. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| They never get my jokes, you know what I mean? | ||
| Well, there's tents. | ||
| They're pulling people over with no lights that say they can't shut their car off. | ||
| They don't know what kind of crazy shit you're doing. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I mean, you pull up to a dude, there's two dudes. | ||
| One of them's from Africa who works for the IRS. The other one's a comedian with some weird jokes. | ||
| Their car's running. | ||
| They can't shut the car off. | ||
| There's something to talk about in the office. | ||
| Right, but a lot of shit could be going on here. | ||
| Like, whenever you deal with someone who don't have their lights on, that's weird. | ||
| Like, okay, why does this guy not have his fucking lights on? | ||
| And then you deal with another thing, he won't shut his car off. | ||
| What? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Like, there's a bunch of shit that's supposed to happen. | ||
| One, you're supposed to have your lights on, you get pulled over, you shut your car off, you shut your ID. Everything's supposed to go according to plan. | ||
| So you're throwing in all these new loopholes. | ||
| It's an improv game we're doing. | ||
| No lights, okay? | ||
| Why don't you have lights? | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Doesn't work. | ||
| Alternator. | ||
| Got an issue. | ||
| Alright, shut your car off. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Shut the car off. | ||
| It stays here. | ||
| I'm going to tell you some true stuff. | ||
| When I moved here, I had a Honda Prelude. | ||
| I put a timer belt in it. | ||
| Fourth generation. | ||
| Drove it here. | ||
| I used to get pulled over all the time. | ||
| Black on black. | ||
| I lived in Inglewood, and I realized, like, all the time, I get my car searched, put it in the back of Capoli's cars, and I talked to a cop, and he told me about proximity and how criminals operate, and when they wake up, they get descriptions in the morning, and if you fit that description, they're going to profile you. | ||
| And that's when I realized, like, oh, I'm living in the wrong neighborhood, driving the wrong vehicle. | ||
| So when I got the 944, I get what I call corporate old white man colors, that champagne or that boring gray color. | ||
| And I just drive and I have really no problems. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's the things, like how my mind works. | ||
| Sometimes I figure out that pattern and be like, okay, if this is what is getting pulled over and stuff, then I need to, you know, I don't know if it's the survival in you or what, but it's like I have to shift. | ||
| And some people will be like, I don't feel like I should shift like that. | ||
| But I'm like, you know, the cops will be like, slow down. | ||
| I messed up in the... | ||
| I was doing 60 on Franklin one time, just enjoying my life. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's white women jogging and everything down the street. | ||
| I'm like, this ain't bad. | ||
| You know, life is great. | ||
| I tell jokes. | ||
| And the cops were just like, sir, can you slow down? | ||
| And I remember putting my hand out the window like, no problem, officer. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| And I was like, this is amazing right here. | ||
| But I also experienced another white privilege thing when I had an accident in the 944, and it was a Latino people, and a guy got out of the car, The cop showed up, and I was sitting on the car. | ||
| The old white guy, he was like, sir, is this your car? | ||
| I was like, yes, sir. | ||
| And he was like, okay, everything is going to be okay. | ||
| And then he went, and he lit into the Mexican people. | ||
| To where I got uncomfortable to where I almost said something. | ||
| He was yelling at the Mexican people. | ||
| He was going over like, this ain't regulation. | ||
| Where's the paperwork for this? | ||
| And asking them all the time, let me see your ID. When did you get this? | ||
| And me coming from Georgia, I'm used to saying black people treat like that, but no other culture. | ||
| So I almost stepped in, but something was like, hold on. | ||
| And I remember sitting on the car like, damn. | ||
| Feeling guilty like, this is what white guilt feels like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| But I'm still on the other side, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I'm just letting it ride, like, you know. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Well, like I said before, when you're in that place where you see different stuff, it shapes you somehow. | ||
| It gets that understanding. | ||
| I think with a lot of cops, something can happen, too, where they pull over so many people that are illegal immigrants, they start getting upset. | ||
| They start getting upset at it, and they treat it disproportionately. | ||
| I've seen a lot of fucking people that are driving illegally in Los Angeles. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I got rear-ended by a dude. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, no driver's license. | ||
| I knew a lot of white people who were driving illegally, and they don't worry about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Yeah, nothing happens. | ||
| Oh, you do if you get pulled over, though. | ||
| If a cop finds out you're driving illegally, you're in trouble. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Everybody, no matter who you are. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| If they find out, they'll tell your car. | ||
| But the odds that you're getting pulled over is kind of slim. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Um, yes, the odds are greater if you are black or if you're Mexican of getting pulled over. | ||
| I would say that's probably definitely true. | ||
| Cut to me getting out the car like this and then he's like, no, not you. | ||
| And you're like, oh, I was just stretching, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, it's what it is to me, you know what I mean? | ||
| I wouldn't want to be a fucking cop. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| No, I think... | ||
| Me, honestly, I think their job is too nerve-wracking. | ||
| For the regular person. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| And they don't make enough money to go through the mental part of it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It'll affect their relationships and their family life. | ||
| Suicides. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of cops commit suicide. | ||
| A lot of cops feel despair. | ||
| It's a crazy job. | ||
| It's a crazy job, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| They gotta go... | ||
| Like I said, they gotta go... | ||
| They got a reputation. | ||
| Cops have almost a reputation now of a black man. | ||
| People look at them like... | ||
| People prejudiced against cops. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's like, oh, to me, it's like, oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| This is ironic. | ||
| And they have to go in those situations. | ||
| They have to go to the hood with that reputation. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| With that outfit on. | ||
| And that's a scary thing. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if your outfit is being represented by people that are doing fucked up things like those videos that we were talking about earlier, that's your outfit. | ||
| That's the team you're on. | ||
| So you have to go and you know that these people are gonna see you, look at you, and know that you represent that team that they've been watching on these videos. | ||
| And I'm from a place where the cops look like you. | ||
| So the cops that treated you fucked up look like you. | ||
| That's even darker. | ||
| Or they were dirty, so it's a different ballgame, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's what it is. | ||
| It's so much that isn't understood outside of the videos that I'll be in. | ||
| Do you think there's a way on stage that you can relay a lot of the stuff that you're talking about? | ||
| I feel like if you could figure out a way to make humor out of the difference between your background growing up and what you're experiencing now and just your own unique perspective Yeah, I'm slowly talking about it. | ||
| You can ask Tosh, when I worked with Tosh, my opening joke, I'd walk on stage and be like, not all Black Lives Matter. | ||
| Some niggas should die. | ||
| And that's a shot in 30 seconds. | ||
| I would get an applause break in 30 seconds at the tense time of that. | ||
| And by that, I'm telling them, I explain the story of the protests when traffic is being held up, and I'm driving with my gas light on. | ||
| And I'm like, if my car dies, I'm a hostage in a situation I don't want to be in. | ||
| And then feeling sorry for that black guy who's stuck in traffic and don't know why, and every white person looking at him. | ||
| And he's like, this ain't got nothing to do with me. | ||
| I'm just on my way to Orange County so I can fuck this white girl. | ||
| That was the bit. | ||
| But all of it's based on truth. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| On truth. | ||
| I felt like when those Black Lives Matter protesters were shutting down highways, I'm like, fucking white people. | ||
| It was white people that are trying too hard to be down with Black Lives Matter. | ||
| So they took it to the highway and shut down the highway. | ||
| So I knew this one dude who's like a super, super lefty guy. | ||
| And he was a part of the Black Lives Matter shutting down highways. | ||
| And I was like, what are you doing, man? | ||
| Out in Berkeley. | ||
| Super, super liberal, crazy people. | ||
| It is a hierarchy of black people just like a hierarchy of white people. | ||
| And me and Jamar Nabors, we say some shit like, you know, real niggas don't give a fuck about black issues. | ||
| Which is true. | ||
| Because they're in survival mode. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You know, so things like, you know... | ||
| Education and shit like that don't really matter. | ||
| Even to me, I didn't talk about politics growing up, so I really don't care about politics. | ||
| That's how I feel about it. | ||
| I still gotta grind either way. | ||
| Do you care at all? | ||
| When you're looking at Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, you just don't think about it? | ||
| I think, and I said this before, before everything got crazy, Trump got crazy, I understand sometimes where he's coming from through educational purposes. | ||
| I understand Republican mindset, you know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I was taught to export businesses and stuff like that. | ||
| All that makes sense to me. | ||
| But I don't think... | ||
| I think this part is for ratings. | ||
| I see it as a show. | ||
| And I think Trump is like a character. | ||
| I definitely think they want everybody to vote for Hillary. | ||
| I think they're going to lead people that way. | ||
| Like you lead water to go down a certain ravine. | ||
| And then Hillary is going to make... | ||
| Because her personality ain't the best. | ||
| It ain't like a Barack Obama where people be like, I like this lady. | ||
| But I think once she get in... | ||
| You're being too kind. | ||
| Her personnel is terrible. | ||
| Well, you know, I think she's going to make some adjustments on the low that's going to really fuck up people. | ||
| She does things that make me super nervous, too. | ||
| There's a thing of... | ||
| You ever see the video of her where she was talking about Gaddafi? | ||
| She was laughing about how... | ||
| I think she says, we came, we saw, he died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha. | |
| Yeah, and it was like off-camera like she I don't think she realized that she's being filmed or this is just not her behaving like I'm gonna play it for you this this Yes, we came we saw he died She's also looking off at someone else like for their approval She's not even looking at the woman. | ||
| She's talking to necessarily It's just that's a weird thing to joke about, the enormity, the magnitude of assassinating a foreign leader. | ||
| Whether he's a dictator or not, there's a lot going on there. | ||
| You are overthrowing the ruler of a government, even though he's a terrible ruler, and you are now opening up that government and those people that were being suppressed by that government, you are opening them up to the turmoil of establishing a new leader. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And that's where it is right now. | ||
| So when you see someone who is running for president and they are joking around about a scenario that has taken place that they were a part of, she was a part of, and that scenario is now directly connected to horrific tragedies and this chaos. | ||
| That is an ISIS stronghold now. | ||
| Libya is an ISIS stronghold. | ||
| That Libya situation is not... | ||
| Um... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't discuss that all in... | ||
| Libya? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, none of those things are good. | ||
| You know, whenever you have a brutal dictator, like Iraq, Saddam Hussein, it's not good when the world is entertaining brutal dictators. | ||
| There's a brutal dictator that's in charge of these people. | ||
| You know, it's not fair. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we have to interact with this person in some way. | ||
| I love a country where there's a curfew. | ||
| And I think that's going to happen here, but I just love a country where there's a curfew. | ||
| Dominican Republic has a curfew? | ||
| For women at a certain time, and if a chick was out by herself, they just put her straight in the van. | ||
| Dominican Republic has that? | ||
| And if a dude was out and his lights wasn't right, and he was on a motorbike, the cop got on the bike with him and rode him with him to jail, he had to take the cop to jail. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So, yeah, there's certain things, like, you know, that is like, wow, that I see, like, happen here. | ||
| And as far as like that video, to me that's how people of power act. | ||
| When I say like real, like rich or successful, powerful people like that and poor people, I always tell people they don't give a fuck. | ||
| The people in the middle are the ones that's timid and like, we should do this for animals and that. | ||
| But those people and poor people, like you listen to their jokes, They don't give a fuck. | ||
| Just like guys I met who talked about, man, I shot three times, man. | ||
| I shot the first time, didn't go through, and he started hobbling. | ||
| I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| And the gun jammed. | ||
| I got nervous. | ||
| Like, these are the stories. | ||
| So I had the ability to sit with both and just hear the... | ||
| And it ain't... | ||
| You know, my comedy is based off this, too, so I got to be like one of these people, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Talking to somebody who's murdered someone with a gun and is laughing and joking around about it, it's got to be fucked up. | ||
| But it's like, this guy didn't die, but he did get hit, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you hear somebody telling this story, and they telling how bad it was, because you know they live it, and it was over something simple. | ||
| Like, I told you next time I see you that this was going to go down, you know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it went down, you know, over something simple. | ||
| But I always say, like, the people like that at the top and people at the bottom don't give a fuck. | ||
| And that's, and if you look at the politics now, you got Trump and you got his supporters. | ||
| Them rednecks and shit that people say they don't like. | ||
| Those is like top and bottom people to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And pattern wise. | ||
| But I think, yeah, if Hillary get in, I think they're trying to lure everybody her way, and then she's going, on the low, sign some document that's really going to fuck people up down the line. | ||
| Those are my predictions. | ||
| Why do you think she's going to do that? | ||
| You know how you find out later on, like, oh man, that document that president signed three years ago fucked people up. | ||
| Right, oh yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's a lot of those. | ||
| Yeah, so I think it's going to be something like that. | ||
| Well, she's gotten away with so much already. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| She's gotten away with so much already, the idea that she's gonna stop once she gets in office is ridiculous. | ||
| Because she broke so many fucking laws with her email server, all the lies that she told about Benghazi all throughout her career. | ||
| There's like, there's many websites that document all the times they've caught her lying about like pretty important issues. | ||
| The idea that she's gonna stop doing that once she becomes president is crazy. | ||
| She's gotten away with it. | ||
| She lies when she talks about getting caught in lies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, when she talked about the FBI having this long interview with her about her email server... | ||
| There's a direct video that shows the direct comparison between what she said and what he said. | ||
| What she said and what he said. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| It's horrible to watch. | ||
| How is this person even qualified to run for office? | ||
| Forget about the fact that everybody wants a woman to be the new president. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah, it'll be fun for everybody. | ||
| Yeah, let's do it. | ||
| This is not the one, folks. | ||
| It's fun for six months until that new car smell gone. | ||
| Well, she's not the one. | ||
| This is not the one. | ||
| You don't want this. | ||
| I mean, the only thing good is that she's a long-term politician. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So she understands the business. | ||
| The only thing bad is that she's a long-term politician. | ||
| She knows the business. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So both things are bad. | ||
| She know the business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You said it right. | ||
| The business sucks. | ||
| And people don't understand that it's a business. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They mostly get caught up in it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But I definitely think, I think people, like we all should, we can find a better way to do things better. | ||
| I'm hoping. | ||
| And not put power in like church and government and these things. | ||
| It's just hard. | ||
| It's got such a stranglehold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The idea that you have to register as either a Democrat or Republican to vote in the primaries, the primaries decide. | ||
| Which candidate is going to represent these parties? | ||
| It's a charade. | ||
| It's never been more obvious that it's a charade. | ||
| And I fully never learned it because I look at the bigger picture and the pattern. | ||
| Well, Byron, we're gonna come back in four years, and we'll see if you're right about Hillary Clinton, if she fucked up. | ||
| Because you remember just a little while ago, everybody was saying that Hillary Clinton, that the FBI was gonna drop some bombshell, and that more information was gonna come out about the horrible things that she's involved with and she's done, and then she's gonna probably be indicted, and then she's gonna wind up pulling out. | ||
| She's not gonna be running for president. | ||
| That was like the big rumors just a few months ago. | ||
| Now, Trump has gotten so fucked up, He's done so much stupid shit and said so much stupid shit and now like the Harvard Republican Club for the first time in over a hundred years is coming out against the nominee. | ||
| There's like a bunch of different prominent politicians that have come out against him. | ||
| You don't remember that. | ||
| Usually by the time someone gets to a point where they're running for president, they're the Republican nominee, whether it's Mitt Romney or anyone else, Like, they're kind of embraced. | ||
| You know, like, okay, we've got the nominee, everything's in order, let's move forward. | ||
| That's not happening now. | ||
| Even with the election just a couple of months away, people are freaking out and they gotta go, we can't have this guy. | ||
| This guy can't be our guy. | ||
| Well, what happened in DR, they got a lady, you know, in charge, and it was some sneaky stuff like that, but when she got in, she started doing the curfews, and she took the Haitians and kicked them out. | ||
| You know, she gave them, to be fair, she was like, you got this amount of money, you can stay. | ||
| Yeah, so it got, and guys were showing me scars that allowed them to stay in the DR. So, yeah, it got real for me over there because I finally talked to these dudes that used to be kids asking for money and now they're adults asking for money. | ||
| Like, what's going on? | ||
| And they start breaking it down. | ||
| Like, yeah, to see a group of people just, like, kicked out of a country like that. | ||
| And it's like, man, maybe we should be glad we're a lost tribe. | ||
| That could easily be, you know... | ||
| It can always be worse, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, and they look up to us, they was like, you know, they was like, look, regardless of what's happening, I know, I know black people getting killed by the cops, but you still got a chance to be something. | ||
| And I couldn't even say nothing like... | ||
| And meanwhile, North Korea looks up to them. | ||
| North Korea, you know, at least they don't have to deal with Dear Leader. | ||
| They don't have to cry for hours and hours when his dad died. | ||
| If they don't cry correctly, they get put in jail for six months and forced to work in labor camps. | ||
| They have labor camps in North Korea where people are literally starving to death and they stick dogs on them and the dogs eat them. | ||
| I mean, this is Game of Thrones type shit and it's going on right now. | ||
| This guy who... | ||
| He grew up in a slave camp. | ||
| He was a child of someone who was convicted of some sort of a crime and forced to work in these slave camps. | ||
| Grew up in his camp, did not know the rest of the world, did not know there was a whole world out there, and somehow or another escaped. | ||
| But he talked about turning his own family in. | ||
| They have everybody narcing on everybody, turned his whole family in. | ||
| In his description of the different levels of torture and treatment, like different levels of slavery, like what you're capable of doing when you're almost dead, what you're capable of doing. | ||
| They have it classified, like what jobs you get, depending upon how close you are to death. | ||
| Fucking terrible, man. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Like, yeah, you hear these stories, you meet people that's like six degrees away from that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's what's crazy is that it's 2016, and where we're living here in Los Angeles is super progressive at the front line of culture. | ||
| We feel like, well, hey, everything's looking up. | ||
| Everything's getting great. | ||
| Not if you're in North Korea. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| The world fucked you, and this is where you came out into the world? | ||
| That's your spot? | ||
| Or Namibia, what we were talking about before? | ||
| An inch of rainfall in three years? | ||
| You're like, fuck! | ||
| Thirsty? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| You got all that Kool-Aid and only an inch of water coming? | ||
| If they even get Kool-Aid over there. | ||
| I don't think they get Kool-Aid. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not my mind processing. | ||
| They're starving. | ||
| There's not a lot of food there. | ||
| All that peanut butter they're eating? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They shoot animals and shit. | ||
| That's all they can do. | ||
| Byron Bowers, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Hey, this has been amazing, man. | ||
| I'm glad we did this. | ||
| It was a good experience. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| And check out Byron if you're ever in Los Angeles or if you're ever anywhere. | ||
| He's performing. | ||
| He's fucking hilarious. | ||
| You got a website? | ||
| ByronBowersLive.com Twitter, Facebook, at Byron Bowers. | ||
| Snapchat, Byron Bowers Live. | ||
| Instagram? | ||
| Instagram, Byron Bowers. | ||
| Love Instagram, by the way. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thank y'all. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| It's been fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay! | |
| Have a good whatever. | ||
| Whatever we doing. |
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