Aug. 3, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:12:32
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I got stories. | ||
| I got that magnetic shit I did to my brain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Live. | |
| Now? | ||
| Is it happening? | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Crazy how it works out like that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were you just about to say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Magnetic shit? | |
| I was about to say I did some magnetic shit to my brain. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, I feel like I'm your depression correspondent. | ||
| Like, I go out and do crazy shit. | ||
| I did that. | ||
| Alright, so it's called... | ||
| I talked about it last time I was here. | ||
| I was gonna do it. | ||
| I did ketamine, which I gotta say I cannot recommend. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did three, no, actually I did six sessions, which was crazy. | ||
| Did it, but the side effects long term were my eyes burnt for straight up two to three months every day. | ||
| Burnt? | ||
| Yeah, burnt like I needed drops constantly. | ||
| Like you stare at the sun burnt? | ||
| No, like irritated. | ||
| Like you got something in them? | ||
| Yeah, more like that. | ||
| And I just felt like kind of grogging out of it for a couple months. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then I did... | ||
| Let's explain that, though, because we're kind of glossing over it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, I talked about it last time I was here, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, because I got a lot of people... | ||
| Did you talk about you were gonna do it or you... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Maybe I was gonna do it. | ||
| I think you had done it. | ||
| Yeah, I had done it. | ||
| And it was still too early to tell. | ||
| But I remember running into you in the hall at a comedy store and you were super happy with it. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| The first time I did it, the first two sessions were great. | ||
| And then after that, I kind of hit a plateau and I just kind of felt like... | ||
| Just kind of like groggy for... | ||
| I'm not kidding, like a couple months. | ||
| So the first session you did, you get this positive benefit from it. | ||
| What's the point in continuing? | ||
| Because the treatment is six sessions. | ||
| The protocol. | ||
| Yeah, that's the protocol. | ||
| So, hold on, I think I have video of it too. | ||
| I know I have video. | ||
| Twitching and... | ||
| No, it's not even that interesting. | ||
| You're just basically in a hospital room. | ||
| Right, but the experience itself, you said, was full-blown psychedelic. | ||
| Straight up fucking 100% tripping balls. | ||
| And this is all FDA approved? | ||
| It's FDA approved as an anesthetic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not FDA approved. | ||
| Actually, you know what? | ||
| It's getting there. | ||
| I think it is there, actually. | ||
| Because otherwise we wouldn't be able to talk about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is approved as an off-label depression treatment. | ||
| Off-label's tricky shit, isn't it? | ||
| Yes, because there's no... | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I mean, that's all of them in some ways. | ||
| Especially with antidepressants, it's all like, yeah, this might... | ||
| This mic could do something, maybe not. | ||
| I like that there's stuff that they can do to you that is definitely beneficial, but it's just, you know, your insurance isn't going to cover it. | ||
| If you have the cash, you can pay for it. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of the situation I was in, where it's like, nobody was going to pay for it, but if you want to roll the dice, and I rolled the dice and I got to say, hmm. | ||
| But you, do you think that if the initial treatments that you had, the first couple that you really had good responses from, if you just stopped there, you'd have a different opinion of it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's the thing, if I just did it once, it kind of felt like, you ever do acid? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know that like ping, that like super clear feeling you get? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's how I felt the day I saw you. | ||
| I did acid for the first time, like, I want to say four months ago? | ||
| Oh wow. | ||
| Five months ago? | ||
| That's great. | ||
| What did you think? | ||
| Loved it. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You didn't find it too intense? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because it can be speedy as fuck. | ||
| I'm so used to edibles and float tanks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That I think it's very introspective. | ||
| It was very clean. | ||
| Like the idea behind it. | ||
| Like the feeling behind it. | ||
| The thought process behind it. | ||
| I was like, ooh, this is like... | ||
| It's a mind clarifier. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| You know, Bill Hicks used to call it a squeegee in your third eye, like mushrooms? | ||
| It felt very clarifying, if that makes any sense. | ||
| Yeah, it makes total sense. | ||
| I felt great. | ||
| I felt really good. | ||
| I felt really friendly. | ||
| During? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Like, real happy. | ||
| You must have had good stuff, because a lot of times it can be speedy, and it ends up feeling like mushrooms and, I think, maybe meth. | ||
| Oh, combined. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you end up with this just, like, intense fucking... | ||
| It's not the goddamn problem is that it's illegal. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you're getting weird versions of it. | ||
| Here's the doctor putting the IV in my arm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Can I see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| Did you take this with a 1980s phone? | ||
| No, that's just the way it's saved or whatever. | ||
| Why is it saved so little? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is bizarre. | ||
| Did you blow it up? | ||
| No, I can't. | ||
| So this doctor is... | ||
| He looked like Bob Shapiro, O.J.'s counsel. | ||
| O.J.'s lead counsel. | ||
| So you just go into a regular doctor's office and... | ||
| He just sticks this thing in your arm. | ||
| Sticks a thing in your arm and off you go. | ||
| Now the doctor, has he tried it himself? | ||
| He would not say, but he said it with a wink that he had. | ||
| He was like, I won't comment either way on whether I've done it myself. | ||
| Yeah, all those guys, they wanted to keep it on the sneak tip. | ||
| Yeah, but clearly he had. | ||
| So yeah, I would say for the first session was amazing. | ||
| That's when I saw you. | ||
| And then after that, it got a little dicey. | ||
| Now, what does it feel like when you're in? | ||
| It felt like I was in a pod. | ||
| A pod. | ||
| In like a small, it's a small world after all, like pod. | ||
| I'm going into the pod now, crossing my arms, and like a little boat just going along. | ||
| Through rooms. | ||
| And the rooms, I would say, were designed, like, kind of a bit like, uh, what's the, uh, Clockwork Orange, like the milk bar thing, a bit like white walls, white breathing walls. | ||
| Breathing? | ||
| Yeah, breathing. | ||
| I'd say they were breathing. | ||
| Yeah, they were inhaling and exhaling. | ||
| But I was never freaked out. | ||
| And then there was like kind of digits on it, like the Matrix. | ||
| It had like a green hue to it. | ||
| My biggest worry when I was in it was like, I'm so out of it, if there's an earthquake, I'm fucked. | ||
| And I would get like wide shots of California. | ||
| I would get like wide shots of California and think about like the hospital crumbling... | ||
| And then me trying to get out and going like, I can't go, man. | ||
| You're not going to have to go without me. | ||
| Give me 40 minutes and I'll catch up to you guys. | ||
| So that was my biggest worry. | ||
| But for the most part, it was just like a fairly pleasant... | ||
| I just couldn't get over the fact that this was happening in a doctor's office. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just like a regular ass fucking doctor. | ||
| Like literally waiting room with other physicians and their patients, old weirdos, shitty magazines. | ||
| And then you go in and you trip your fucking head off. | ||
| And so you're sitting in like a regular chair? | ||
| It's a reclinable bed. | ||
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| Like a craftmatic type thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's real nice. | ||
| They spared no expense. | ||
| So you're sitting in this craftmatic adjustable bed. | ||
| You get the needle in the arm and they leave it in there for how long? | ||
| 40 minutes. | ||
| 40 minutes. | ||
| Now, if an earthquake happened, could you just pull the needle out of your arm? | ||
| I was so out of it, I don't think I could have. | ||
| I think once the drip happened... | ||
| Like, it's in you for a while. | ||
| So once the drip happens, you probably have however long. | ||
| I mean, it's a 40-minute trip, apparently, but I don't know if it's based on one. | ||
| I don't know how much is going in at once. | ||
| Now, that stuff, ketamine is weird because it was a tranquilizer, right? | ||
| For animals, a veterinary tranquilizer? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's a horse tranquilizer, and they use it as an anesthesia for humans. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard of that. | ||
| The guy was an anesthesiologist. | ||
| He was. | ||
| Don't they use that in wartime because it's easy to carry around? | ||
| I believe they have in wartime because you can use very small amounts and it puts people under. | ||
| You know what that sounds like? | ||
| That sounds like a Joe Rogan fact. | ||
| I don't know for sure, but it sounds like... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think I'm pretty sure that's the case. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about various forms of anesthesia and sort of the evolution of using anesthesia and that ketamine worked really good in the field because you could have a very small amount and you would, you know, put someone under pretty deeply. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what if it's local. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I don't know if you could have done surgery. | ||
| It wasn't like I couldn't feel myself. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It was more like I had no interest in it. | ||
| What do you got here? | ||
| Following FDA approval in 1970, what is that? | ||
| Anesthesia was first given to American soldiers during the Vietnam War. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of shit on Reddit about it as an antidepressant, as a treatment for depression. | ||
| So, for you, you heard about this how? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I want to say, if you just Google depression treatments, it's probably page two. | ||
| Or alternative depression treatments is probably what I Googled. | ||
| Now, we've had these conversations before, you and I, about depression and different treatments. | ||
| How much exercise do you do? | ||
| Did we talk about this before? | ||
| Yeah, a decent amount. | ||
| I run probably three, four days a week. | ||
| That's pretty nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's supposed to be one of the best things for depressions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cardio. | ||
| But, like, I've never gotten a runner's high, if that makes sense. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think I have a shortage of dopamine in my brain, just naturally. | ||
| Like, I just think I don't have a ton of dopamine. | ||
| Like, I don't... | ||
| Joy is not a thing I think I've ever experienced. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I repeat, joy is a thing that I don't think I've ever experienced. | ||
| I'll experience adrenaline rushes and, like, ego, but I'll never be truly, like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Joyous, yeah. | ||
| It stinks. | ||
| It fucking stinks. | ||
| Because it's something I believe in. | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| I've accomplished things, I've done... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But I never get this sense of like, this real... | ||
| You know, in very small doses. | ||
| Extremely. | ||
| Like micro doses. | ||
| So, like, let me put it into perspective, like, career-wise. | ||
| Like, you had a nice Comedy Central special. | ||
| They put a lot of hype behind it. | ||
| I watched it. | ||
| You did really well. | ||
| Got a great response. | ||
| How'd you feel when all that was over? | ||
| I felt cool. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I felt like... | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Like, alright, good shit, man. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| See what else. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I was never, like... | ||
| During Chappelle's show, I never got, like, a... | ||
| I'm the king of the world. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, never that sort of, like, huge... | ||
| Uh... | ||
| Something that would make you want to scream you feel so good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Do you get that much? | ||
| All day. | ||
| 24-7. | ||
| I just hold it in. | ||
| Just trying not to scream? | ||
| If you want to take a break, if you want to go up on the roof. | ||
| I'm the worst guy to talk to this about, because I don't really get depressed. | ||
| I've been depressed before. | ||
| But, answer my question, the joy question. | ||
| I'm joyful all the time. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| So that wasn't a joke. | ||
| No, I'm pretty happy. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Here's the good news. | ||
| You seem happy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I buy it. | ||
| I'm not like, Joe Rogan thinks he's happy. | ||
| You seem happy. | ||
| I have a lot of friends. | ||
| That's a big part of it. | ||
| I have a lot of cool friends. | ||
| I love having a family. | ||
| I love what I do, like my jobs. | ||
| My day is filled with stuff I enjoy doing. | ||
| I'm just lucky. | ||
| Yeah, but I have many of the same things. | ||
| I just don't feel that sense of satisfaction you have. | ||
| Now, has it varied? | ||
| Have you had higher and lower feelings of satisfaction? | ||
| Yeah, I think when I'm working a lot, I feel pretty satisfied. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, accomplishments or task and goal oriented. | ||
| It's satisfying to do a special or direct a commercial or write a TV show. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you one thing. | ||
| I say I'm filled with joy and I'm happy all the time. | ||
| When I'm not working or I'm not accomplishing anything or if I get real lazy, I can get depressed. | ||
| Somebody else told me that. | ||
| They said that a very, very joyous guy told me when he gets injured, that takes it out of him. | ||
| It can. | ||
| I've been injured a gang of times. | ||
| I've had a bunch of surgeries from athletic injuries. | ||
| But for me, if I go into lulls, like if I'm not accomplishing things or in the past, I don't allow myself to get into those anymore because it's just not a good feeling. | ||
| And it doesn't even necessarily have to be... | ||
| Like a career-oriented thing, but I have to have things that I'm enjoying. | ||
| It could just be like I'm really into doing yoga. | ||
| So I'm doing yoga every day, and I do it, I get it done, and now I feel great. | ||
| But if I'm not doing something, my brain, for whatever reason, needs tasks. | ||
| It needs stuff to do. | ||
| It needs stuff to figure out. | ||
| It needs puzzles. | ||
| If I don't get that, I have a real issue. | ||
| Yeah, agreed. | ||
| Do you like big, long-term goals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It's just like, yeah, you do. | ||
| Yeah, I like things that are hard. | ||
| I tend to like micro things. | ||
| I like those too. | ||
| I like things that are due in like a week. | ||
| As opposed to something that's like, yeah, whenever you're... | ||
| Like, I'm outlining a movie right now, and I'm like, yeah! | ||
| But I wish it were more like... | ||
| Bang, bang. | ||
| Yeah, like, I'm meeting about it tomorrow, like, specifically to... | ||
| So to, like, kind of focus myself. | ||
| Like, you write a joke, and then you go up and do it tonight, and it kills. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, oh, that's... | ||
| Okay, that's something that... | ||
| That's joy. | ||
| That's pretty damn near joy, yeah. | ||
| Killing, or just writing a joke and not killing it. | ||
| Writing a joke and it kills, it's like... | ||
| That feeling, man. | ||
| Don't you wish you could give that to people who don't do stand-up? | ||
| Yep, I sure do. | ||
| It's it. | ||
| I've had this conversation with people before that don't do stand-up, and I'm like, man, I wish I could tell you what it's like to crush in front of 5,000 people. | ||
| It's like finding $100,000. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| That's how it feels. | ||
| It feels like, oh, I just found $100,000, and you know what led me there? | ||
| My personality and my experience. | ||
| And your work ethic. | ||
| And your work ethic. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| That's a big part of it. | ||
| You feel like, oh, it's so personal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It feels like this could only, if it's a good joke, only you could have written it. | ||
| Well, even if other people could have written it, you wrote it. | ||
| This thing came out of the sky. | ||
| It chose you. | ||
| Yeah, it chose you. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| So that I will say is like, that's a sense of euphoria. | ||
| But I think in some ways I try to kind of contain it a little bit. | ||
| In that, where I'm like, whoa, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, this thing, I don't know what to do with this feeling. | ||
| Because it's the kind of thing where you just want to, like, go up and kiss women. | ||
| Like, hey, foot of theirs, and smack people on the ass, and like, I just fucking wrote a fucking closer. | ||
| What the fuck did you, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you just feel like a musical. | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe had this new joke, and he did it, and he came off stage, like, right after he did it, and he was literally, like, Like fist pumping. | ||
| He was just so fired up because it killed. | ||
| He was so fired up. | ||
| It's like he was charged with electricity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nice when you can allow yourself to just like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you can do it in a way that no one gets jealous or feels like you're preening yourself. | ||
| You gotta hang out with better people. | ||
| No, I don't, but we're hanging out with basically the same people. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm saying, like, if that's the problem, you know, and we've all been there before, too, like, where things are going well, and you're hanging around with someone, and they get super weird and creepy with you, and they withdraw, and you're like, oh. | ||
| Yeah, what do you, yeah, what do you just kind of like, what do you want me to, do you want me to fail? | ||
| Well, there's people that do definitely want you to fail, but what they definitely don't want you to do is highlight the fact that they're not succeeding. | ||
| Well, yeah, but that's what most people consider—a lot of people consider your success their failure. | ||
| Yeah, that's such a bizarre way of looking at it. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's so common, though. | ||
| Like, what evolutionary benefit does that have? | ||
| Well, finite resources. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's what it comes from. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I think it just comes from their—you know when people go, ah, there's enough jobs for everyone? | ||
| You and I both know, no, there's not. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| There's enough jobs for talented people, but if you don't feel like you're talented, then you are fucking panicked all the time. | ||
| And then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because that sort of famine thinking is really bad for progress. | ||
| If you're a person who's really worried about other people getting things and you start thinking in a jealous manner about other people's success, that fucks up your own ability to express yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that fucks up your ability to succeed. | ||
| It depends on how it hits you. | ||
| It can be a motivator, I believe. | ||
| Sure, definitely. | ||
| Where you're like, fucking he got it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| I can't get whatever that is. | ||
| But it's hard to, you gotta kind of wrestle it into a positive way. | ||
| Because if you get upset that somebody else got something, then usually it's a bitter motivator and it doesn't lend itself to success. | ||
| But I don't think I've ever had something where I was like, that should have been mine! | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Have you ever had that, where it was like a job that you were like... | ||
| Definitely when I was younger, for sure. | ||
| What sorts of things were they? | ||
| I'm sure looking back, they're absurd. | ||
| Yeah, absurd. | ||
| Things that I didn't deserve. | ||
| You know, like someone else getting a television show, or someone else headlining a certain place. | ||
| For comics, it's not a finite situation. | ||
| There's a limited amount of resources. | ||
| There's so many different clubs, and there's so many different topics, and there's so many different jobs. | ||
| I think that's one of the reasons why comics are so ruthless when it comes to plagiarism. | ||
| Because, like, say if you have a really unique idea, and this idea has come to you from the universe, and you're sketching it out and putting it together, and some fucker comes in and sees this and says, ah, I can fucking snag that. | ||
| I've started looking at jokes as inventions. | ||
| And it's like, you stole my fucking invention. | ||
| That's my invention, dude. | ||
| My inventions are word inventions. | ||
| Or premise inventions or whatever. | ||
| So it's intellectual property. | ||
| You know that that's mine. | ||
| So to steal it is worse than plagiarism. | ||
| It's like copyright infringement. | ||
| It's both. | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
| It's unforgivable. | ||
| It also cuts in and creates that weird, competitive, finite resources mentality. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It creates it. | ||
| It creates like a mindfuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because then all of a sudden you start thinking, like, oh, well, this is not like a community of like-minded people that are supporting each other. | ||
| There's like some parasites in here. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And there's some vampires. | ||
| It's people with different standards, because we all more or less have... | ||
| I don't know if it's learned in the comedy community, or we all come into it with certain standards, but there is that thing of, like, there's an acceptable... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it's almost like not closing with a super dirty joke if the person after you isn't a dirty comic. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Especially if you care about them. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's certain unwritten rules that you want to, like... | ||
| Comradery. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That you don't want to fuck people over. | ||
| And then when somebody else does some shit like that, and you're like... | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| But the way I thought of it, it's like, let's write another one. | ||
| I mean, obviously it's the worst and it's unforgivable, but I've had people steal shit from me. | ||
| Yeah, it's gonna happen. | ||
| But it fucks up the best part about stand-up. | ||
| Like last night at the store, I was hanging around with Stanhope and Michael Kosta and all these guys. | ||
| We're just laughing and hanging around. | ||
| There's a cool camaraderie. | ||
| Costa's been great lately. | ||
| Michael Costa's been hit astride. | ||
| The kind of jokes he's writing are fucking great. | ||
| Very funny guy and really nice guy, too. | ||
| Yeah, such a sweet guy. | ||
| But that place is filled with that kind of cool camaraderie. | ||
| That's the point to me. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| That's really the fun of it. | ||
| Like, what you've done with, like, your people and other comics and, like, your group, whatever you want to call it. | ||
| But, like, that's the point of, like, that's my favorite part of it. | ||
| And there's no close second. | ||
| It's not money. | ||
| It's literally, like, a vibe. | ||
| And it's connecting with somebody. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| It's all hugs. | ||
| You know, you go to the store on any given night, it's all hugs. | ||
| It's all a bunch of guys that appreciate each other and girls, you know, people who are really funny, get together. | ||
| And that place right now, it's hotter than it's ever been. | ||
| Last night, Tuesday night, sold out, just packed. | ||
| Main room, original room, and belly room. | ||
| Packed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And by the way, it should be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The shows are fucking bananas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The shows at the Comedy Store are fundraisers anywhere else in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But here, it's just like, you know... | ||
| Ron White, Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, Ari Shafir. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| The lineup's bang, bang, bang. | ||
| You just see killer after killer. | ||
| Ian Edwards, like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, Jesselnik. | ||
| Yeah, oh my god, all the time. | ||
| The lineups are amazing, but it's also the feel. | ||
| You feel like, man, I think we are in a golden era. | ||
| It feels like, wow, we're really lucky to be here right now. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, yeah. | ||
| There are guys like you that almost created it in a way, by going back to the store and by validating it, and then your fans go, and then it's a self-fulfilling thing. | ||
| But yeah, it definitely feels like... | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
| I feel like, although, did you watch the roast? | ||
| The roast battle? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought it was fucking great. | ||
| I didn't watch it on Comedy Central. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I was in part of it, I think. | ||
| In Montreal? | ||
| No, I was in the part that was in the belly room, where they filmed it. | ||
| Oh, they did a special that I didn't watch. | ||
| There's the five parts that they did for Montreal, and it was great. | ||
| I heard it was really good. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| I heard Ralphie May. | ||
| Yeah, Ralphie. | ||
| I heard he took a beating. | ||
| Yeah, he saw his... | ||
| But again, the thing with... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw his soul. | |
| He saw his entire career flash in front of his eyes. | ||
| But what do you expect... | ||
| When you're doing a roast, it's like, I know if I do a roast, people are gonna fucking kill me on Chappelle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Repeatedly. | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
| So now I'm just like, alright, let's judge this level of how hard you're gonna hit me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, Ralphie got hit on a Wade joke, which is like... | ||
| Wade and his divorce, his family. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| That's hardcore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Family, like, left him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's alone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Depressed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then someone just kept teeing off on him. | ||
| Who was he roasting? | ||
| Was it Mike Lawrence? | ||
| Mike Lawrence, who won, is really funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a really funny dude. | ||
| But apparently, Ralphie just didn't take it so well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm happy he didn't take a swing at him. | ||
| Was it that close? | ||
| It was like, you know, it had that, even on TV, it was that feeling of like, oh, I could see this going a certain way. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I don't want to do that. | ||
| I don't want to say that to people. | ||
| I don't want to say anything that's going to make somebody, I definitely don't want anybody saying that to me that's going to make me feel like that. | ||
| What's funny is there's a zoom in on Ralphie's face, and as you're watching it, you're like, did they zoom in or did I zoom in? | ||
| Like, wait a minute. | ||
| Did I imagine that zoom in, or did they do that? | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| That is a goddamn brutal show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But good for comedy, man. | ||
| Really good for comedy. | ||
| Yeah, it's a good format. | ||
| It's a cool format. | ||
| They figured out a new format. | ||
| Great joke writer format. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fair. | ||
| It's literally just head-to-head. | ||
| And it rewards good jokes. | ||
| They laugh at the... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Madison Square Garden, they say people know basketball there. | ||
| NBA players say people know basketball. | ||
| That's how it feels at the roast battle. | ||
| People know comedy, and they reward high level of difficulty jokes. | ||
| Yes, I agree. | ||
| And also, I think one of the things that roast battle is really good for comedy is it's pushing the boundaries of acceptable jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is a weird time where people are fucking... | ||
| You know, this whole idea about punching up. | ||
| There's so much horseshit involved in what is and is not acceptable in stand-up today. | ||
| And it's a bunch of people that are trying to control behavior and thinking. | ||
| And that just doesn't fly in that world. | ||
| It's the pushback. | ||
| What Roast Battle is, is the pushback to this PC era that we're in right now. | ||
| If they could prove to me... | ||
| That joking leads to action, I would pay more attention. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| What doesn't? | ||
| I know, but if they could say, yeah, Hitler made a lot of jokes about invading Austria. | ||
| He used to do tons of bits about Austria. | ||
| And then eventually he brought the hammer down. | ||
| Like, if you could prove some sort of, you know, the A and B, A plus B equals C, then yeah, then it's like, okay, I agree. | ||
| But you also know that racism and all that shit is like, it ain't about joking. | ||
| It's about like, A, it's about, a lot of times it's about poverty, it's about class, it's so many other things that aren't necessarily comedy. | ||
| Yeah, and even a poverty of ideas. | ||
| I mean, it's a thought process poverty. | ||
| It's poor thinking. | ||
| I mean, that's what racism really is. | ||
| And what jokes are is, like, you know that there's a certain amount of racism, and you play on it, and there's a wink as you're doing it, like, in a joke form, and there's some racist shit that people can say to each other in that joke battle or the roast battle. | ||
| That is fucking hilarious. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, there were black people who can't swim. | ||
| I mean, there were 9-11 off the fucking... | ||
| Tons of 9-11 jokes. | ||
| George Perez and Sarah Tiana were roasting, and Sarah Tiana was roasting him about... | ||
| Sarah Tiana is insanely good at that shit. | ||
| She's amazing. | ||
| She's like one of those things where it's like someone can talk real fast somewhere. | ||
| You're like, I didn't even know you could do this shit. | ||
| Like, she's like double-jointed or something. | ||
| Like, wait, what? | ||
| Sarah, you can do the splits? | ||
| All right. | ||
| It comes off even crazier because she's so sweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she's got this smiling, pretty face. | ||
| Which I believe! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there is no hatred in her roast. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| But she knows where the soft spots are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's where she sticks the blade. | ||
| Yeah, and dude, she came in second. | ||
| She just kind of ran out of steam. | ||
| They'd write a lot of jokes. | ||
| Oh yeah, man. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| So yeah, but congrats to Sarah. | ||
| So Hinchcliffe did it with a suit of armor on? | ||
| Yes, and would have won. | ||
| But fucked up his last joke, maybe? | ||
| It was really close. | ||
| And his last joke was a clanker. | ||
| I think his first joke and his last joke. | ||
| But Hinchcliffe's good at that shit, too. | ||
| Oh, he's really good at it. | ||
| Hinchcliffe is mean. | ||
| He knows how to get after it. | ||
| Certain guys you can tell, he means what he says. | ||
| He's up there, he's doing a documentary. | ||
| He's not... | ||
| He's doing a documentary about his thoughts. | ||
| It's not a lot of like, there's art to it, but it's like, oh, this is all based on a true story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm just happy that Comedy Central has taken, that's a big chance. | ||
| And they've taken quite a few big chances recently. | ||
| Like, I think with Ari Shaffir's show, this is not happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a big chance. | ||
| And that show is really racy, really out there. | ||
| Some of the stories are fucking completely outrageous. | ||
| So they've got that. | ||
| And then they're taking chances with this as well. | ||
| And it's off the beaten path. | ||
| This is a new thing. | ||
| This is not like another guy's doing a talk show. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| I think they're following the sort of what's working live. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And smartly going, how do we televise it? | ||
| Because the truth about Comedy Central is the ratings are so bad at this point that they, relative to what they were, that I think they're like, it's Kent Alterman just going like, I like that. | ||
| Let's do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And leaving shows on that are not particularly highly rated because he likes it. | ||
| If they do that, though, I think that's the right way to go. | ||
| If they just find what people actually enjoy, like L.A. right now has a comedy scene, a big comedy scene, and Roast Battle is one of the highlights of the comedy scene. | ||
| Everybody goes to see it, man. | ||
| Last night, there's a fucking line. | ||
| Rose Bell started at midnight. | ||
| I got there at 10, and the line was already around the fucking outside of the patio of the store. | ||
| All waiting to get in. | ||
| Yeah, because I think people didn't know about it until this week, literally, the TV show. | ||
| Because of the show. | ||
| That definitely had an impact. | ||
| But it's cool to see. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| It's fair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's like, okay, this is fucking... | ||
| There's a little goddamn justice right here. | ||
| Like, a funny thing that people were doing live. | ||
| And I think, like, famous people judges helps. | ||
| But, like, for the most part, it's just... | ||
| It's funny to watch. | ||
| It's fun to watch these people go head-to-head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard that Whoopi Goldberg was awful. | |
| She was just, like... | ||
| Why are you making that face? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I would agree. | |
| Whoopi was never like a comic, do you know what I mean? | ||
| Well, Whoopi was a comic, but it wasn't really real. | ||
| Not like a club comic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She did it. | |
| Yeah, but to me, she did that one-woman show, which was in a theater, was not stand-up, and then she did Comic Relief, where she was doing a monologue with two other dudes. | ||
| I'm pretty sure she did comedy clubs, too. | ||
| Okay, maybe. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I saw her. | ||
| Sometimes, Joe, things pass you by. | ||
| And, uh, certain, certain shit, it's like, you kinda... | ||
| Well, when she was going back and forth with Jesselnik, and she said, I have Oscars? | ||
| Yeah, she's like, all the shit I got, and Jesselnik was like, a bunch of shit from the 80s? | ||
| Which is like... | ||
| Well, that doesn't make you funny, either. | ||
| Oh, exactly. | ||
| It's like, yeah, you brought an Oscar to a comedy show. | ||
| Not only that, it's the opposite of being funny. | ||
| Like, talking about your accomplishments is the opposite of, like, a good comeback. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody said they were in an argument with somebody, and the person goes, I have a million dollars! | ||
| I'm just like, okay, buy your way out of this fucking conversation. | ||
| Well, if someone calls you a loser, you're a fucking loser, and you're like, well, I'm actually one. | ||
| Yeah, there are, no, I'm not saying you should never bring up having a million dollars. | ||
| Like if someone says, you broke, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, you broke, motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, you can't be like, I actually have a lot of money, so you can't say that. | ||
| Yeah, there are certain things in which I've succeeded. | ||
| So yeah, but The Sourceman, it's cool. | ||
| It's magical again. | ||
| Well, not even that again. | ||
| I've been there on and off for 20 plus years. | ||
| It's never been as good as it is now. | ||
| No. | ||
| And it's because it's the right way. | ||
| Adam's booking good people. | ||
| He's not booking... | ||
| He's not booking like... | ||
| Viruses. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| He's not booking people that when you're on the show with them, you're like, how the fuck am I only getting two spots? | ||
| Or how am I only getting four spots and this guy's getting three? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Like where you see a guy that just kind of is a bummer comedically. | ||
| Like that has no merit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That has no merit whatsoever comedically. | ||
| They used to have that because I think there was just a lot of people left over from like the 80s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was some weird... | ||
| A lot of legacy acts. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good way to put it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now there's young people coming up that are really funny. | ||
| There's guys like Ron White, who are really established, who love hanging out there now. | ||
| Ron's there all the time now. | ||
| And it's cool. | ||
| He's like a part of the community now. | ||
| Yeah, you're there a lot. | ||
| Burr's there a lot. | ||
| Jesselnik's there a lot. | ||
| Dave when he's in town. | ||
| Yeah, Chappelle, Louie. | ||
| And that back bar, too. | ||
| God damn, we were at the back bar last night. | ||
| I'm like, how fun is this place? | ||
| It just makes you feel like tingly when you're there. | ||
| Yeah, you do. | ||
| It feels like you're in a movie about this time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's fucking awesome, man. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, so I did that. | ||
| So the ketamine, I will say I cannot recommend. | ||
| But you recommended for one session? | ||
| Look, ketamine as a drug is interesting as fuck. | ||
| The thing that I felt the day I saw you may have just been that LSD hangover-like feeling. | ||
| That hangover of where you're not hungover, but you're not yourself. | ||
| You feel that high-pitched clarity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That squeak. | ||
| But beyond that, it just became... | ||
| Now, I complained to the guy, and he said, you're the only person who's ever felt like this. | ||
| The fogginess? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a little nausea as well. | ||
| How great are those balls, by the way? | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
| Yeah, amazing. | ||
| This is a WOD workout of the day, I think they call it. | ||
| WOD Supernova. | ||
| This is the tiny one. | ||
| This is a little one. | ||
| The big one is actually even better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you stick it on your back when you're sitting down. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can use it on your head ever. | ||
| No. | ||
| My head? | ||
| Dude, you got shit in your head. | ||
| You got muscles in your head you don't even know. | ||
| Bro, you got muscles you don't even know about, bro. | ||
| Bro, my head is yoked. | ||
| Bro, everybody knows that about you. | ||
| My fucking head is ripped, bro. | ||
| I bet you have, like, weird shit up there. | ||
| So yeah, so I did the ketamine, can't recommend it. | ||
| Then I tried something called TMS, which is short for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. | ||
| Joe, I've got a video and it's going to be full frame. | ||
| Send it to Jamie, he'll put it up on the big screen. | ||
| Oh yeah, how do I send it? | ||
| Yeah, that's probably the best way. | ||
| Okay, hold on. | ||
| So, I've been really interested in this idea of stimulation, the outside of your brain, after listening to a Radiolab podcast called Nine Volt Nirvana. | ||
| Is that the memory one? | ||
| No, it's one where they're talking about skill acquisition. | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's what I mean, with the sharpshooter. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is too big to send to you. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But if you send it through Google, it'll go to Google Drive, and they'll upload to him with the password. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Guy's got a muscly head. | ||
| Yo, my fucking head. | ||
| He knows things. | ||
| My head is powerlifting. | ||
| I remember when I was a kid, they did this CAT scan on Marvelous Marvin Hagler. | ||
| Marvin Hagler, who was one of the greatest boxers of all time, had very large muscles around his temples. | ||
| Like extraordinarily large. | ||
| Like not just a little bit bigger than everybody else's, but like two or three times larger than the average person. | ||
| Like essentially he has headgear. | ||
| You can see he had veins. | ||
| Yeah, he had like thick veins that I remember. | ||
| Yeah, he had headgear. | ||
| He essentially had muscle headgear around his temples, like in the side of his head. | ||
| And they were like, what in the fuck? | ||
| And they didn't know if this was something that was developed from years of biting down on a mouthpiece. | ||
| And there's a lot of guys that did a bunch of different exercises for their jaw itself. | ||
| Like, I remember Jerry Cooney had a thing that he put in his mouth. | ||
| It was like a thick rubber cable that had, like... | ||
| You know what's funny about boxing shit? | ||
| Is that shit doesn't make you fear the guy a little bit more? | ||
| Like, he'll use fucking tape, bro. | ||
| He don't give a fuck, bro. | ||
| He's chewing on tape, bro. | ||
| He's chewing on tape over there, bro. | ||
| So guys, they were actually lifting weights with their jaw. | ||
| Which makes sense. | ||
| I mean, you could power lift with your jaw. | ||
| Some guys chew gum, too. | ||
| That was another thing they would do. | ||
| They'd get like a stack of bazooka, like that bubble gum that turns into cement after you chew it for a couple minutes, and they just take that shit and... | ||
| Which totally makes sense, because if your jaw is loose and weak... | ||
| And if you look at guys with big jaws, like a guy like a Mark Hunt or something like that. | ||
| That's another thing. | ||
| Rub the ball on your jaw, you're not going to believe how rough and... | ||
| I have a knot in my jaw right now. | ||
| Suck a lot of cock. | ||
| Not a ton, but enough to get by. | ||
| You gotta do what you gotta do. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I want spots. | ||
| Whenever I get a massage and then they work your head, I get so excited. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I rub my head. | ||
| It feels so good. | ||
| My daughter was rubbing my head the other day. | ||
| She's like, does this feel good? | ||
| I said, actually, that feels really good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you immediately become an eight-year-old boy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| Oh, my head. | ||
| It feels so good to rub my head. | ||
| Yeah, it feels good. | ||
| It's an area like your feet. | ||
| Like, it feels good to get your feet rubbed. | ||
| It feels good to get your hands rubbed. | ||
| You ever get your hands massaged? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You would think, that hand's not going to feel good. | ||
| Like, you shake someone's hand, it doesn't feel anything. | ||
| But if someone, like, rubs your hand, they start pulling your fingers, and they make them pop and stuff, and they massage your palms and the tips of your fingers and all the little connective muscles and all the tissue in between the fingers. | ||
| It feels great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I need to get a massage. | ||
| I haven't gotten a massage in forever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You strike me as a guy that would get a massage three days a week? | ||
| I used to get them all the time. | ||
| It's been too busy. | ||
| It's been a month at least. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe more. | ||
| Maybe two months. | ||
| I used to get them all the time. | ||
| But I get them. | ||
| I get a guy who does a lot of rolfing. | ||
| He uses a metal bar on me and digs it into my muscle. | ||
| My nose? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's what rolfing. | ||
| Apparently, they go up your sinuses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I've never seen it. | ||
| Bro, they fuck with your brain, bro. | ||
| Yo, bro! | ||
| They massage your fucking brain, bro! | ||
| Bro, I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, rolfing, they're supposed to go all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Your sinuses? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Incoming. | ||
| Makes me nervous. | ||
| Yeah, so this TMS thing, transcranial magnetic stimulation, covered by Blue Cross. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, that's what, like, it was really, really good. | ||
| Like, I, for a lot of my life, I felt like I had a... | ||
| All right? | ||
| I had, like, a thing. | ||
| Like, it almost felt like a metal... | ||
| Weight, like a bit of like five pound weight on my upper left forehead, my left. | ||
| And then, so I went to this. | ||
| Whoa, dude. | ||
| That sound is like an MRI sound. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| It is? | ||
| Yes, it's basically the same exact magnet as an MRI. But it's just glued to your head. | ||
| Yeah, they put it on your head. | ||
| It's pretty simple. | ||
| The first time they measure it, they have to get to like the exact spot. | ||
| There's another video where my finger is pulsing that you'll enjoy. | ||
| And what is it doing to you? | ||
| Like, what's the benefit? | ||
| It's basically magnetizing and electrifying. | ||
| It's waking up, basically, dead synapses, according to them. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's waking up dead synapses. | ||
| Waking them up. | ||
| So they're dormant? | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| You don't even look into it. | ||
| You're like, go ahead, shoot me out. | ||
| Yeah, what is it? | ||
| Can I do kill me and end this at the same time? | ||
| I mean, I don't have kids, man. | ||
| So I'm like, yeah, I don't give a shit. | ||
| Whatever it's going to cost me, I'm happy to do it. | ||
| If you had kids, you think you wouldn't do it? | ||
| I think if I had kids, I'd be like, you know, sort of more cautious about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| Because I'm not like reckless, but I'm not like... | ||
| I do research. | ||
| It's also vague anyway, the research. | ||
| It's also like, we think it does this. | ||
| Most antidepressants, they think they know what's happening. | ||
| They don't actually know. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you think about how many people are prescribed these things, and then there's not really a direct understanding of how it impacts each person. | ||
| Like, they'll tell you, hey, we'll try this medication, and if it doesn't work, we'll try another one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does this one work for you? | ||
| We'll just cycle through it. | ||
| And how do you know if it's working for you or if you're having a good time in your life and so you're feeling better because maybe you started a new relationship and a new job and it's going well and hey, everything seems pretty good. | ||
| Dude, I was on medications that made me nauseous for a year and a half before I was like, you know what? | ||
| I literally thought I was nauseous because I was eating too many Lifesavers. | ||
| Not even fucking kidding. | ||
| Literally, I was like, I gotta take it easy on these Lifesavers because every night I throw up on the way to the Laugh Factory. | ||
| And then I realized, like, you know, Neil, you're taking a pretty high dosage of Zoloft. | ||
| You might want to just take it down a notch. | ||
| That Zoloft stuff is supposed to be really weird for your discerning of what matters and what doesn't matter. | ||
| Like, Like, it's hard to... | ||
| I've never done it, so it's hard for me to describe it, but the people that I've talked to that have done it said one of the issues that they had with it is nothing had... | ||
| The bad things didn't feel bad anymore, but the good things didn't feel good either. | ||
| Well, that's the thing with a lot of antidepressants is they raise the floor and they also lower the ceiling so that it narrows your band of experience, basically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| Which, but if you're severely depressed, it can be very... | ||
| Like, ketamine, apparently, is a lifesaver, truly, for... | ||
| They may start administering it in emergency rooms for suicide cases. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because it does... | ||
| I mean, it's basically a hallucinogen. | ||
| So, you know hallucinogens will make you, like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See things differently. | ||
| So they're starting to... | ||
| At least they're talking about administering it as a sort of almost like a... | ||
| Whatever that drug is that you can do. | ||
| Almost like an EpiPen for... | ||
| For suicide victims or suicide... | ||
| Thought thinkers. | ||
| Thinkers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| About to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the TMS, Transcranial Magnetic Simulation, half an hour of that doesn't feel like much. | ||
| Feels like a shitty woodpecker. | ||
| Like a fucking sleepy woodpecker is sort of going at your head. | ||
| But you're not like, hey, get out of here. | ||
| You're just kind of like, okay, okay. | ||
| How much longer? | ||
| And I would just sit there and watch TV. And how many times are you supposed to do it? | ||
| You do it 40 times. | ||
| 4-0? | ||
| 4-0 times half an hour. | ||
| And how deep are you in right now? | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| You did all 40? | ||
| Yeah, I did all 40 in the fall. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I'm telling you, it lasted. | ||
| And you can go back for sort of pick-me-ups whenever you feel like you need it. | ||
| So I'm telling you, this is the thing that has worked best for me. | ||
| Better than ketamine? | ||
| Way better than Zoloft. | ||
| I was on what's an SSRI, a strategic selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and went off it once I did this magnet shit. | ||
| So you're off everything? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| And you feel great? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just no joy? | ||
| Well, no joy. | ||
| If you never had it, you didn't lose nothing. | ||
| I just look at you, you kids have fun. | ||
| I'll be over here with no joy. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm not miserable. | ||
| And also, there's no physical manifestation. | ||
| That's the biggest thing. | ||
| The head thing, the feeling like there was a plate on my head, getting rid of that was really, really, really great. | ||
| So when you say like a plate on your head, like there was a pressure? | ||
| Yeah, I have a little weight. | ||
| A little weight and a little pressure. | ||
| Did you get nervous that there was something in there? | ||
| No, because there were times where I'd go off of antidepressants and I'd have my jaw muscles and muscles in my temple would be so tight that I'd need to use like a massager on them. | ||
| So I knew that it was all sort of connected. | ||
| You got your ding on. | ||
| Was that me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty sure. | |
| Bro, is that my ding? | ||
| Unless it's me. | ||
| Might have been your ding, bro. | ||
| Might have been me, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Yeah, it's your ding. | ||
| Fucking dork. | ||
| So that was a big one. | ||
| That was really helpful. | ||
| Then I did... | ||
| I was in New York for a couple months, did that show, Three Mics, which I think I told you the premise. | ||
| Yeah, you told me, but say it on here. | ||
| So the premise is, on stage, I put three mics, equidistant, apart from each other, One is for stand-up. | ||
| One is for one-liners that I just couldn't fit anywhere. | ||
| And then one is for true sort of emotional confession-y type shit. | ||
| Talking about depression. | ||
| Talking about... | ||
| Shit with my dad. | ||
| I won't spoil the surprise, but pretty heavy shit between me and my dad when he died, or right before he died. | ||
| And then the second monologue is about... | ||
| Kind of about like celebrity and dealing with having a partner and then breaking up and becoming my own guy and all that shit. | ||
| So it's basically like it ends up being probably 40 minutes of stand-up, 45 of stand-up and a half hour of true stories. | ||
| And then five minutes of one-liners. | ||
| And did you do it after you had completed your treatment? | ||
| I did it, yes. | ||
| I did it after, yeah. | ||
| And in the middle of it, I actually stopped taking everything. | ||
| In the middle of recording or practicing? | ||
| In the middle of, no, in the middle of the run. | ||
| I had an eight-week run, I think, in New York. | ||
| And, uh, and... | ||
| I stopped everything in the middle of it. | ||
| Not suddenly, just like, I don't think I need it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, what's the difference when you get off medication? | ||
| What was the difference in the way your brain was functioning? | ||
| I can almost tell how well my brain's functioning. | ||
| If I'm not depressed or not slowed down by depression, my associations are much quicker. | ||
| Like, if you're just, like, the simplest thing of, like, that guy looks like so-and-so. | ||
| Like, sort of a little roast. | ||
| Like, a little, like, what is that shirt? | ||
| Fucking looks like the kind of shirt you... | ||
| Like, if I'm not depressed, I can think of those quickly. | ||
| If I'm depressed, there were times where I'd get... | ||
| Depression would affect my memory. | ||
| Where I couldn't remember... | ||
| The test I would always do in my head is... | ||
| There's a guy who directed Gone with the Wind and The Wizard of Oz back-to-back... | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, and I would try to remember his name. | ||
| His name is Victor Fleming. | ||
| But if I was depressed, I couldn't remember it. | ||
| Like, it affects your fucking... | ||
| Do you think it's a resource thing? | ||
| Like, your brain is so concentrating on the depression and feeling like shit, it just doesn't have the resources? | ||
| I think it... | ||
| I tend to think it's more a dead synapse thing. | ||
| And I think it's an energy... | ||
| I think depression is a lack of energy in the brain. | ||
| And maybe you're right. | ||
| Maybe it's all going to one place, but that's my own personal interpretation of it. | ||
| Well, that makes sense in that way, in that definition, that aerobic exercise would benefit people that have depression. | ||
| Because they say that this particularly running and long-form aerobic exercise, it does something to stimulate brain growth and brain function. | ||
| They also say, like, if you want to remember something, there was a thing last week or two weeks ago about memory, where if you want to, you should study, then exercise. | ||
| And you'll have a better memory. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| You'll remember the shit you had, you studied. | ||
| For me, there's nothing like physically writing something down with a pen. | ||
| Yeah, I think there's something to that too, for sure. | ||
| Like, where you see, because it is like two senses, you're hearing it in your head, it's three, you're hearing it in your head, you're seeing it with your eyes, and you're actually physically forming the thoughts. | ||
| Yeah, and I actually do say the words out too. | ||
| When I write something down, I actually say it. | ||
| Like a slave. | ||
| Like a slave, I write it down. | ||
| You go like, and then, like an illiterate person, you'll be like, and then... | ||
| I was like a slave. | ||
| Slaves actually weren't allowed to write. | ||
| And then I went to the store. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dark is that? | |
| No reading. | ||
| No writing. | ||
| You're trying to keep them from getting smart. | ||
| Well, I had the thought yesterday, black people probably didn't wear eyeglasses until they couldn't. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Nobody tested them. | ||
| Certainly not bifocals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, they weren't being tested for vision. | ||
| Yeah, you think about it for a second and all you can do is do a loud exhale. | ||
| Yeah, we've been talking about perspective recently a lot. | ||
| It's come up a few times about how insane, like yesterday we were talking about slavery, we were talking about the Confederate War, the Civil War rather, and the Confederate flag. | ||
| And we were just talking about how insane it is that slavery was 1865, it was abolished. | ||
| Like that is, that's a week ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you also think it ended immediately. | ||
| It didn't fucking end immediately. | ||
| No. | ||
| It ended like, hey, guys, it's like at the club where they turn the lights on. | ||
| There's still people, there's stragglers, there's people that don't want to leave. | ||
| Then it just shifted over to sharecropping, which was like, yeah, it's subsistence farming. | ||
| You're still going to live here. | ||
| A lot of people were sharecroppers. | ||
| I read a book called Some of My Best Friends Are Black, which seems ironic that I would read that book, but it's about integration. | ||
| Ironic because some of your best friends are black. | ||
| Yeah, ironic. | ||
| But it's about integration, I should say. | ||
| And it's written by a guy named Tanner Colby. | ||
| It's an insanely white name. | ||
| It's about as white as it gets. | ||
| It's literally off the charts. | ||
| Like, if you were going to build a white name, it would be Tanner Colby. | ||
| He's always wearing a golf shirt. | ||
| No, he might as well be. | ||
| But he really went deep into integration. | ||
| What was interesting was... | ||
| I highly recommend the book, but he said, when you think about integration, your resistance, you go, yeah, white people didn't want it. | ||
| Black people didn't want it either. | ||
| Black people were like, we don't want to hang out with those motherfuckers. | ||
| Black people didn't trust white people any more than white people trusted them. | ||
| It was a mutual suspicion. | ||
| At least black people had a case. | ||
| White people had no case. | ||
| I think a lot of racism is basically white people fearing karmic retribution. | ||
| I think fear of black people is like... | ||
| There's a karma coming at me. | ||
| It's almost like too black, and you think, if they did something to me, I kinda have it coming. | ||
| Historically. | ||
| So let me just kind of like ease... | ||
| Even if you don't have it coming, they can make the argument. | ||
| Yeah, and it's not a long argument, and it's a good argument. | ||
| So that was interesting. | ||
| And again, I think I've talked about it, maybe I haven't talked about it here, that one of the biggest proponents of integration and ending redlining, you know about redlining? | ||
| Redlining was a thing where banks would only give loans to people who lived. | ||
| They would circle lines and maps. | ||
| They'd circle neighborhoods and go, if you live in that neighborhood, you can't get a loan. | ||
| And guess whose neighborhoods they circled? | ||
| Black people. | ||
| So black people couldn't move. | ||
| And the biggest, the guy who ended it was Mitt Romney's dad. | ||
| Well, how about Baltimore? | ||
| Where Baltimore, they had literal areas of the town where they would not sell to black people. | ||
| Yeah, that's still, they can't, you can't, what do you have, cash? | ||
| You can't move. | ||
| They literally can't fucking move. | ||
| You could buy within that neighborhood, but you just, for the most part, couldn't get loans no matter what you did. | ||
| And isn't it ironic that in a lot of those neighborhoods, the saving grace financially is white people gentrifying the neighborhoods and making them, like, super rich again. | ||
| Yeah, that's the saving grace for people that were lucky enough to buy, which has happened more, that's happened a fairly good amount in Brooklyn. | ||
| But it's not for the neighborhood. | ||
| For the renters, it's atrocious. | ||
| They're getting pushed out. | ||
| So it's like, look, you wanted the neighborhood to be worth something, and yeah, yeah, yeah, but we can't afford it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people are buying up these houses and redoing them and then selling them for shitloads of money. | ||
| Well Bensonhurst, which was always like this horrible neighborhood, Bensonhurst is going through this wave of gentrification now. | ||
| All of Brooklyn's going through it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the entire borough is going through it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Except the poor Italian neighborhoods are pretty much the same. | ||
| But yeah, like the whole... | ||
| Bed-Stuy. | ||
| Yeah, Bed-Stuy, Fort Greene. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Bensonhurst. | ||
| Those are the ones that we always associated with that deep Italian racism. | ||
| The Spike Lee racism. | ||
| The baseball bat racism. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| The wife-beater baseball bat. | ||
| Real good Italian racism. | ||
| Real Italian with sauce. | ||
| With the fucking ragu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The real stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With Man and Goat. | ||
| Did you ever do stand-up in those areas? | ||
| I did stand-up in Bensonhurst once. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, there was a gig out there. | ||
| God, I'm trying to remember where it was. | ||
| But it was, I mean, I might as well have been in a Spike Lee movie. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Did they like you? | ||
| I think at the time they did. | ||
| Did you... | ||
| It's hard to remember. | ||
| Play it up. | ||
| Not like you play it up, but did it feel like... | ||
| Well, you could pass for Italian. | ||
| Are you Italian? | ||
| I am Italian. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| That's why you passed for it. | ||
| I have one quarter Irish, but most of it is Italian. | ||
| Yeah, you seem Italian. | ||
| Like, you look Italian. | ||
| I mean that in the nicest possible way, Joe. | ||
| Well, when I went to Italy recently, I was like, okay. | ||
| Now I see what's going on. | ||
| Those are some talking motherfuckers, huh? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They talk up a storm. | ||
| But what was interesting is my driver, we got a cab, and the driver was fucking hilarious. | ||
| And not intentionally. | ||
| Hilarious in that this guy could not stop staring at women. | ||
| He would, like, hit the brakes to look at them better. | ||
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| Cat-calling was invented by Italian dudes, basically. | ||
| They're pigs. | ||
| I mean, in the most beautiful way. | ||
| Like, it's kind of, like, hilarious that this guy... | ||
| I mean, he knew he wasn't gonna get to fuck these women, but in his mind, like, you had to slow down. | ||
| You gotta whistle. | ||
| You gotta stick your head out the window. | ||
| Hey, look at this fucking girl with the fucking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, blah, blah, blah, blah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and they whistle and they... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But they so stare. | |
| They're like staring at these women. | ||
| There's this framed poster that I have on my wall at home. | ||
| It's an American girl in Italy. | ||
| And all the dudes are whistling in the background? | ||
| And they're grabbing their dicks. | ||
| And it's like 1954. And I remember looking at that when I was a kid thinking, wow, this lady in this photo is probably like 100 years old now, right? | ||
| Or dead. | ||
| More likely dead. | ||
| But these guys, this isn't something they learned from watching The Sopranos. | ||
| Like, here it is. | ||
| This is the photo. | ||
| Yeah, no, I know it well. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That guy grabbing his dick. | ||
| And look at the old man who's got his arms inside the jacket. | ||
| The jacket just thrown over his shoulders. | ||
| This is fucking good over here. | ||
| A couple guys sharing a nice Vespa on the right side. | ||
| The guy in the scooter. | ||
| By the way, not the finest broad we've ever seen either. | ||
| Well, it's hard to tell because she's got this look on her face like, oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| I guess it's all relative. | ||
| Yeah, but it's just that it's a girl by herself walking past this cafe and all these pigs. | ||
| There is this weird thing in their harassment, which is like a maternal respect to it. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, you're beautiful like my mama. | ||
| So that's like built into it. | ||
| Whereas American harassment doesn't really have that. | ||
| Whereas Italian harassment, there's a certain little fucking, little maternal, like, hey mama, my sweet mama. | ||
| Because those guys, there was a big thing a few years ago in 60 Minutes where Italian guys don't move out. | ||
| So they'll be in their mid-30s and their moms don't want them to move out. | ||
| They don't want to move out. | ||
| They're like, I may not get married. | ||
| No one can compare it to mama. | ||
| This is Italian guys in Italy? | ||
| Italian guys in Italy, yeah. | ||
| But that's always been an issue of Italian guys in the East Coast, too, that live in America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, well, they got it from their... | ||
| Would you ever live in Italy, do you think? | ||
| No. | ||
| Go on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go on. | |
| No, no. | ||
| Well, first of all, I can't speak Italian, and I don't have enough time. | ||
| I mean, I just didn't... | ||
| To learn, yeah. | ||
| Not really interested. | ||
| Second of all... | ||
| Did you like the lifestyle, though, I guess is my question. | ||
| I loved being there. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I don't need to, like, live somewhere to experience it for a week or so. | ||
| I think we were there for eight days. | ||
| It's beautiful, man. | ||
| Like, we went to the Amalfi Coast. | ||
| Holy shit, is that pretty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pretty. | ||
| And I think the Vatican... | ||
| The Vatican is a life-changing experience. | ||
| Go on. | ||
| Why do you say that? | ||
| It's immense. | ||
| Oh, it's hilarious. | ||
| First of all, they have a 4,000-year-old obelisk in the center of the town. | ||
| I mean, you look at some of the artifacts and some of the stuff that they've collected there. | ||
| There's so much shit there that it's just laying around. | ||
| Stuff that would be under two-inch thick glass in America, you could walk up and touch it. | ||
| Their new shit would be our oldest shit. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| There was a church, I remember, in Rome. | ||
| I used to go there pretty often because I was dating a girl who lived there. | ||
| That's a long-distance relationship. | ||
| Yeah, that sure is. | ||
| It wasn't that serious, Joe. | ||
| Do you use the word dating in air quotes? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how to say it. | ||
| I knew a girl. | ||
| I knew a girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were dating. | |
| Yeah, I knew a girl over in Rome. | ||
| And, no, she was telling me, yeah, they have a piece of Jesus' cross. | ||
| And it was, like, believable? | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I don't even think they made a big deal out of it. | ||
| Like, there weren't a ton of signs about it. | ||
| Like, that would be like a huge attraction. | ||
| That would be like the number one attraction in certain states in America. | ||
| Well, there's a church in Ethiopia that is purported to contain the lost Ark of the Covenant. | ||
| And they know where the church- and they have the Ark of the Covenant? | ||
| Well, this is what is weird. | ||
| The people that guard this church, they all have like cataracts and shit, and it's a very strange thing. | ||
| This is all from Graham Hancock's book. | ||
| Where it's one of the first things that got him into this idea of, like, lost civilizations, and that the idea that people had come up with, like, a pretty high level of sophistication in their societies, but then the societies would crumble, either due to natural disasters or war or whatever, and then they would have to sort of rebuild civilization. | ||
| But... | ||
| He was investigating this one church in Ethiopia where the people that guard this church in Ethiopia, it's like a very specific sect and they won't allow anyone to get into the sacred, secret areas of it. | ||
| And the speculation was that somewhere inside that church is the lost Ark of the Covenant and that the reason why these people have cataracts and the reason why these people have all these issues, like health issues, it could possibly be that What's in that Lost Ark of the Covenant is some sort of a toxic element, whether it's nuclear or whether it's chemical or whether... | ||
| It would stand to reason if you watch the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. | ||
| That makes those guys' faces melt, right? | ||
| Sure does. | ||
| I don't know what could be substantiated, if anything, about that. | ||
| Makes your face melt unless you close your eyes. | ||
| You know, like one of those things. | ||
| Or, well, look, if someone came up with some sort of a nuclear reactor, you know, there was a kid that got arrested. | ||
| I'm going to close my eyes if there's a nuclear blast and just hope for the best. | ||
| That's a move. | ||
| It's like when Bugs Bunny would jump out of an airplane right before it hit the ground. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| But there was a kid that they found, I forget where he was, but he was building a nuclear reactor in his fucking backyard. | ||
| I want to say he was 17. Yeah. | ||
| And someone found it, somehow or another they found it, they're like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if this kid can do that in 2016, the idea is if there was some sort of super highly advanced lost civilization that had reached an incredible level of sophistication when it came to, You know, the ability to manipulate matter and possibly even come up with some sort of a reactor and that that was what the Ark of the Covenant was. | ||
| That's why it was so sacred and fascinating because they realized it had immense power. | ||
| But that power was probably like some sort of a small reactor. | ||
| That would be cool. | ||
| I hope. | ||
| Wouldn't that be cool? | ||
| That should all end up being true? | ||
| Well, they know for sure that they've found batteries. | ||
| They've found batteries in Baghdad and I believe in some of the ancient Egyptian sites that what it is is a very ancient sort of method of creating a battery. | ||
| That's 100% confirmed. | ||
| That I believe. | ||
| Yeah, and that's confirmed. | ||
| They know that they did come up with something, and they figured out a way to use that battery. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| That's the Baghdad battery. | ||
| Oh yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| How old? | ||
| That's old as fuck. | ||
| I want to say it's at least 3,000 or 4,000 years old. | ||
| Find out how old that fucker is. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| I say it's 4,000 years old. | ||
| 3,000. | ||
| I'm going to go with 3. I'm going to go 2. 2? | ||
| 2,000? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Let's see. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| No? | ||
| Well, they must be able to carbon date it, right? | ||
| 1938? | ||
| They found it in the 1930s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| So does it say how old it is? | ||
| That's all I want to know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Speculation? | ||
| What is it, speculation? | ||
| Some believe that it was... | ||
| Doesn't say age. | ||
| Supporting elements, battery, hypothesis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing? | |
| See if you can find it. | ||
| But see if you can find, actually before you see if you can find that, see if you can find the thing about the guys who guard the Ark of the Covenant in Ethiopia. | ||
| Because apparently these monks that guard it, they all have fucked up eyes. | ||
| That was one of the things that Graham Hancock thought was like super disturbing when he started investigating it. | ||
| He's like, why do these guys have all cataracts and shit? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But if somebody can come up with a battery, obviously there's a big step between a battery and some sort of a reactor. | ||
| But if this kid in his fucking backyard is building a reactor, who knows? | ||
| They had enough, a high level of sophistication. | ||
| They had a high enough level of sophistication where they were able to construct the pyramid, right? | ||
| Look at the Great Pyramid. | ||
| It's an incredible piece of engineering. | ||
| 2,300,000 stones, all cut so precisely you can't get a razor blade in between the rocks. | ||
| I mean, especially if you look in like the king's chamber. | ||
| How high up at the pyramid do you think you needed to be to get pussy? | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, is there stairs? | ||
| No, but I'm saying in terms of what you did, what your position was. | ||
| Oh, that's another one. | ||
| I'm on the pitch. | ||
| I got an office on the 8th floor of the pyramid. | ||
| Bitch, I'm on the point. | ||
| I don't want to hear this. | ||
| My office is up at the point. | ||
| Come up and have a cigar. | ||
| If you worked on it, builders probably didn't. | ||
| Although, I don't know if jobs were considered a big deal back then. | ||
| They used to think they were slaves. | ||
| They don't think they're slaves anymore. | ||
| They stopped thinking they were slaves about a decade ago, I think, when they uncovered some of the little camps that the people used to live in, and by the food that they were eating, and by the quality of the clothes and the plates, they think they were skilled workers. | ||
| They don't think they were slaves. | ||
| And which makes sense, because you're talking about something that 2,300,000 stones, I think the way they described it was if you cut in place 10 stones a day, it would take you 664 years. | ||
| Yeah, so how long do they think it took? | ||
| They weigh between 2 and 80 tons. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| They don't know how long it took. | ||
| But they know that it was constructed somewhere in the neighborhood of 2,500 BC based on carbon dating. | ||
| So they don't even know exactly which pharaoh built it. | ||
| They get real weird with what they go on in terms of what's the evidence that someone made this. | ||
| One of them is the Sphinx. | ||
| The way they decided to attribute the Sphinx to one guy, where there's a passage that it says that it came to him in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx, that he would be the Pharaoh. | ||
| He would become the Pharaoh of Egypt. | ||
| If he uncovered it. | ||
| And so the speculation by the people that are sort of backdating history is that the Sphinx could have entirely been covered in sand. | ||
| It could be incredibly ancient. | ||
| Because when Napoleon found it, it was covered in sand. | ||
| When people found it in the 1800s, there's actually photographs of it before they had dug it out and excavated it. | ||
| Actual photographs. | ||
| Is the thing about shooting the nose off, is that a fake thing? | ||
| Supposedly it's true. | ||
| Somebody fucked the nose up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whether it was Napoleon or one of his crew, that's... | ||
| I don't know if they know that for sure. | ||
| I know they do know that the nose and the face are different from the original nose and face. | ||
| The original face, they think, was a lion. | ||
| Well, that's amazing, like, just people's love of faces. | ||
| Like, there's a human... | ||
| You've ever heard... | ||
| I feel like I've talked about it, where there was a... | ||
| They put... | ||
| It's a defense of, like, star power and charisma. | ||
| They put monkeys in a lab. | ||
| They gave them the option of unlimited cherry-flavored juicy juice. | ||
| Or they could watch video of the leader of their pack. | ||
| And they chose watching video of the leader of the pack. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's this thing in human beings like needing kind of gods. | ||
| Needing some sort of Pillar or needing something to like... | ||
| It also speaks to just charisma. | ||
| Isn't it possible also though that what they really needed is to get the fuck out of that cage and that the leader of their pack on a video maybe like let them know like maybe someone's gonna let me out of here. | ||
| Maybe just pay attention. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, but that's also something to like there's something about certain people you just like watching. | ||
| Like there's a certain element. | ||
| It's charisma. | ||
| Charm. | ||
| Whatever you want to say. | ||
| Certain people that you see them and you're like, okay. | ||
| It's the definition of charisma is you want to say yes before you know what the question is. | ||
| And these monkeys got it, Joe. | ||
| They got that charisma? | ||
| They got the eight factor. | ||
| I like how you're doing the Italian thing with your fingers. | ||
| They fucking got that thing. | ||
| They got this thing. | ||
| Well, that sort of makes sense when you think about kings and pharaohs and the fact that there's always been this alpha character. | ||
| There's always been this one ruler. | ||
| For pretty much every civilization, every single city, every single state, every single country always has that one charismatic leader that stands in front of the people and lifts his hands up and everybody cheers. | ||
| Well, that's the thing that people underestimate, and I don't think we should talk about Trump for a long time, but he's got a lot of charisma. | ||
| Say what you want about the guy, he's got a ton of charisma. | ||
| He's got a weird kind of charisma. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got like this mean guy charisma where you want him to like you, so you say things. | ||
| That you don't even believe. | ||
| Yeah, because you want him to like think that you're on his side, so he won't come after you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a bully charisma. | ||
| Yeah, that's absolutely right, but it's charisma nonetheless. | ||
| Like that's the, and that's the thing about stars and movie stars and shit like that, is like you're watching this guy, you watch Denzel Washington waiting for him to snap, He never does, but you can tell he's gonna. | ||
| He just doesn't. | ||
| It's like Robert Downey Jr. I feel like with Robert Downey Jr., you're watching a guy not do cocaine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He wants to do everything in him wants to do cocaine. | ||
| Ha! | ||
| So you're watching a guy actively not do cocaine from second to second. | ||
| That's such a good analysis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| You're just watching this guy, this thing, this car accident that never happens. | ||
| Yeah, you're watching a guy struggle slightly with sobriety. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You see it on him. | ||
| It's kinetic. | ||
| And that little bit allows him to be snarky and weird and get away with it. | ||
| Yeah, because daddy didn't get his medicine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But you could almost do that with a lot of dramatic stars. | ||
| Comedy stars less so. | ||
| But there's something about Tom Cruise that's that. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Like, you're just watching. | ||
| I don't know if he's not going to snap. | ||
| He's almost going to, like, fly away or something. | ||
| Well, he'll snap if you talk about, like, psychiatric drugs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like he did on Brooke Shields. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Matt Lauer. | ||
| You're glib, Matt. | ||
| You're glib. | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| That was a perfect example of why really big time movie stars should not have podcasts. | ||
| You're 100% right. | ||
| You're absolutely right. | ||
| But it's also a testament to his charisma that he said that and we're still like, ah, fuck it. | ||
| I need him to be a movie star. | ||
| More than I need him to agree with me about religion. | ||
| Yeah, he bounced back. | ||
| But what's really interesting is what he bounces back on, like he's most successful, is these wackadoo fucking science fiction movies. | ||
| That's where he's done the best since that. | ||
| The Day After Tomorrow thing or the whatever that one was? | ||
| Yeah, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Edge of Tomorrow? | |
| Edge of Tomorrow? | ||
| Beginning? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| There's two of them. | ||
| He did two of them. | ||
| He did two. | ||
| He did... | ||
| Well, the Mission Impossible, those are his bread and butter at this point. | ||
| That too. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| But that Edge of Tomorrow movie was a good movie. | ||
| Fucking very good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what was a really good movie? | ||
| Deadpool? | ||
| Did you see Deadpool? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| I couldn't fucking believe how much I love Deadpool. | ||
| I saw it on an airplane. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| And it kept cutting out, and it was still excellent. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Like, I'm not gonna say it was perfect, but there were some... | ||
| Moment to moment, it was as good a movie as I can remember. | ||
| Yeah, for a superhero movie, it's probably as good as it gets. | ||
| Yeah, I totally agree. | ||
| Yeah, that was a really good movie. | ||
| Yeah, I was very, very pleased with that movie. | ||
| Because I had no expectations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And at the end, he still gets to bang the girl. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| The way they banged that banging montage was great. | ||
| And then him putting up a picture of what's his name? | ||
| On his face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's just like, God, that's really fun. | ||
| It's like where they let writers write well. | ||
| Like, yeah, that's a funny idea. | ||
| So we'll just do that. | ||
| Well, I saw Ghostbusters. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Which I feel awful about. | ||
| There's some funny shit in Ghostbusters. | ||
| Like, overall, it's not a good movie. | ||
| It's just not a good movie. | ||
| But they did some funny shit. | ||
| They came up with some funny... | ||
| And I almost want to know, like, man, what could this have been if you let whoever came up with all that funny shit just make a movie out of it? | ||
| Were they scenes or was it dialogue? | ||
| Scenes. | ||
| Scenes and dialogue. | ||
| There were scenes and... | ||
| It was such a combination of things, that movie. | ||
| And it so had the feeling... | ||
| Of the hands of the producers and the executives. | ||
| It so had a feeling. | ||
| Well, that's what you... | ||
| In some ways, the thing I liked about Deadpool was I was watching it going, the producers of this movie did a good job where they were like, this moment doesn't work. | ||
| Make it work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They micromanage. | ||
| I worked on Chris Rock's movie Top 5 a little bit. | ||
| I just consulted for a couple weeks. | ||
| And the producer is this guy named Scott Rudin who's like a famous producer and what I couldn't believe was the level of detail that guy was worried about. | ||
| It was he busted Chris's balls for a year about the script literally made him rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and then on set the guy was worried about shirts and And buttons. | ||
| And that's what I realized. | ||
| Like, okay, these Deadpool producers, whereas it feels like maybe on Ghostbusters, you have to get lucky, too, with Studio. | ||
| You all have an agreed-to set of what's good. | ||
| And then you build the movie from there. | ||
| Also, there's a problem that the movie had a very clear agenda to be a pro-woman movie. | ||
| Which it gets... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, there's nothing wrong with being pro-woman. | |
| But if that's what you're trying to do... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just not enough of a... | |
| It's like a... | ||
| It's a goofy... | ||
| It's not a theme for a movie... | ||
| A comedy movie, it feels like... | ||
| Well, all the men are buffoons. | ||
| They're not just buffoons. | ||
| They're cartoonishly retarded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Chris... | ||
| Whatever the fuck his name is? | ||
| Hemsworth, yeah. | ||
| Thor is so retarded, it doesn't even make sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's so fucking stupid, it doesn't make sense. | ||
| But they keep him around because he's beautiful. | ||
| And that's like the joke. | ||
| Well, that's a funny... | ||
| But I like these revenge jokes. | ||
| Where it's like, so you're just gonna do... | ||
| What men did? | ||
| How long is this going to last? | ||
| Like, what's the next? | ||
| Which is easy for a man to say. | ||
| Like, hey, do something else, honey. | ||
| But it just feels like there's got to be a next... | ||
| There's a lot of retribution right now. | ||
| That's a lot of what Twitter is. | ||
| It just wasn't believable. | ||
| A lot of what Twitter is, how so? | ||
| It's a lot of people... | ||
| It's like digital lynch mobs of people, and that are rightly so. | ||
| They'll go after people for saying something fucked up about race. | ||
| Like they went after Justin Timberlake a few weeks ago because he said something we're all the same. | ||
| And then it's like, but you can't say that, and it just becomes this mob of people, and it's purely about racial revenge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| As far as I'm concerned. | ||
| Well, it's definitely about people having the opportunity to shit on somebody. | ||
| People that didn't have the opportunity before, and now they have it. | ||
| It's like they have social cachet, and they have social power, and they use it for the same bullshit that white people used it for. | ||
| Well, it's not even just black people doing it. | ||
| It's a lot of white people calling people out on weight. | ||
| Any sort of marginalized group. | ||
| Literally any group. | ||
| But this movie... | ||
| There's a bunch of problems with the movie. | ||
| But the fact that all the men in the movie were ridiculous. | ||
| All the men in this movie were buffoons. | ||
| All the men in the movie... | ||
| Like Bill Murray gets fucking killed in it. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like, it's an agenda-driven movie more than they wrote something, they figured, well, it'll work if you do this, or it'll work if you do that. | ||
| Like, they didn't even have romantic interests in the movie, because men were just so retarded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, the women didn't have boyfriends, they didn't have husbands, they didn't have, like, they had Chris Talmsworth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's it. | ||
| And he was just eye candy. | ||
| Well, the thing I always tell people is when you're writing about a specific gen, like for a long time, women in comedy, women in comedy movies were props or they were like Andy McDowell always used to be like the love interest. | ||
| Andy McDowell? | ||
| And she was always just like this warm, sort of like vaguely disapproving. | ||
| It's either like you're disapproving of the guy or you're approving to a fault. | ||
| Because if there's a movie about a certain gender, which is usually men, the women in their lives, for the plot to advance, they'd either have to be for the plot or against the plot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So then women started complaining, like, well, you see us as these binary, goofy things, and obviously women in life are more complex than that. | ||
| So now that women are starting to get their own movies, and it's about groups of women, you see it's a writing problem. | ||
| You're in a trap where the men in Bridesmaids were goofy as fuck. | ||
| It was an Irish cop in Milwaukee? | ||
| Tell me more, because I've never seen that in my fucking whole life. | ||
| A guy who's just like, and Bridesmaids is a fucking masterpiece for the most part. | ||
| Just that part, I was kind of like, wait, so he's a cop and he's got an endless appetite for wig, even though she's not interested and was dicky to him, but he's still, he'll take her back, whatever. | ||
| And it becomes about, he's basically the only man in the movie, and it's kind of a goofy part. | ||
| And it's because it's about a group of women, and that's just the purpose that men have in that plot. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But they always, people take it as like this, a sexism thing, and I just take it as like a screenwriting thing. | ||
| Well, it is that, definitely, but one of the problems that people have found when they're talking about this movie is that you can't criticize it, because if you criticize it, you're sexist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And no, it's not a good piece of art. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| It's not really well done. | ||
| But there's moments in it. | ||
| And Paul Feig, who did Bridesmaids that I'm talking about. | ||
| Same guy. | ||
| Same guy who did it. | ||
| Well, whatever, he's done it twice now. | ||
| But I think he knows he's a really good writer. | ||
| He knows it's hard to write because it's never been... | ||
| I always tell people this and I go, show me a good example of... | ||
| Of a movie about a group of guys where the woman isn't just... | ||
| Even in Deadpool, she's a prop, but they make fun of it. | ||
| She's a stripper, she's in love with him unconditionally, even though his face turns into a monster, she still wants him to eat her pussy. | ||
| And they make fun of it, yeah, they make fun of it in a funny way, like they meet up, they meet cute, and then they think about how damaged they both are. | ||
| That was perfect to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because it was brief, and it's like, the thing they always complain about when you're developing movies, it's like, I don't buy this couple, and it's like, yeah, it's a fucking movie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Sorry, like, they're just not, I don't buy a lot of real couples. | ||
| Well, not only that, they have to spell it all out in two hours. | ||
| Yeah, and they have to meet and fall in love within five minutes. | ||
| Well, there's a lot more to a relationship than that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, we can't show you all that other shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that takes hours, days and weeks and months, and you fuck. | ||
| That is correct. | ||
| The sad thing about the movie, the Ghostbusters movie, is there was some stuff in it that was really clever. | ||
| There was funny stuff. | ||
| And in the beginning, I was enjoying it. | ||
| I was like, you know what? | ||
| I bet people are not giving this thing a fair shake. | ||
| And then as it got on, and I was like, oh, this is just so clunky. | ||
| There's parts of it that were just so clumsy and just poorly. | ||
| I gotta see it because every single one of those women are fucking home run hitters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Melissa McCarthy is fucking funny, man. | ||
| Dude, Wig is fucking funny. | ||
| Who's Wig? | ||
| Christian Wig? | ||
| Which one's she? | ||
| She was in Bridesmaids. | ||
| I don't know what she was. | ||
| Oh, she's the auburn-haired woman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And Leslie's a fucking monster. | ||
| She's handicapped in it. | ||
| They give her some clunky lines. | ||
| And then the girl from SNL, Kate McKinnon, is really, really funny. | ||
| She was really funny in it. | ||
| She was very funny in it. | ||
| Look, it's not that bad. | ||
| I mean, I didn't hate it. | ||
| I went to see it with my kids. | ||
| They enjoyed it. | ||
| But there were some moments I laughed pretty hard. | ||
| Great. | ||
| But most of it not. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard to make funny movies, man. | ||
| You know, it's like, at the end, the way they wrap it up, you're like, oh, Christ. | ||
| Like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's like, it's so clumsy. | ||
| Oh, it's just so awkward. | ||
| Somebody told me there were no stakes in the movie. | ||
| It was just like, yeah, there's ghosts and we're gonna fight them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And, uh, we got them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| It's hard to do a movie. | ||
| Making a funny good movie is really hard. | ||
| A big budget movie. | ||
| A big budget with a legacy and a release date. | ||
| Yeah, and if there was no Ghostbusters before it, there had never been a Ghostbuster movie, and this was the first ever Ghostbuster movie. | ||
| We wouldn't be talking about Ghostbusters. | ||
| It would be different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, maybe people would enjoy it more, and maybe they wouldn't be so handicapped because they had to sort of connect with the legacy and tie all these loose ends in, and they could kind of do it any way they want. | ||
| But that's really a part... | ||
| Whenever you're trying to redo an old movie, even if you do a great job... | ||
| Like, remember Jason Statham redid The Mechanic? | ||
| Like, dude... | ||
| I didn't know that was a remake. | ||
| You're doing a fucking Charles Bronson movie? | ||
| You didn't know? | ||
| Oh, I didn't even know that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No. | ||
| Charles Bronson and that handsome fella from the 70s who went crazy. | ||
| Oh, God damn it. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Robert Blake? | ||
| No, that was another one. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Charles Bronson in The Mechanic. | ||
| What is the other... | ||
| He was this really handsome actor who became like a crazy alcoholic. | ||
| He was really huge. | ||
| Jan Michael Vincent? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was going to guess Nick Nolte, but he would have been the next one. | ||
| He was really huge back then. | ||
| Like, he was a beautiful man. | ||
| That's a goddamn frame right there. | ||
| Look at that hair and those tombstones in the back. | ||
| Bronson. | ||
| Bronson's one of my all-time favorites. | ||
| He was great. | ||
| He was posing. | ||
| It's what we call graphic right there, Joe. | ||
| Yes, perfect. | ||
| And by the way, no video. | ||
| That's film, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| That's organic. | ||
| It's American. | ||
| Back then, when they would do a movie like this, too, you didn't get that many movies every week. | ||
| It's not like today. | ||
| Jan Michael Vincent played his protege, and Charles Bronson was a hitman. | ||
| You saw this in the theater? | ||
| TV. I think I saw it on television the first time. | ||
| It was 1972. I don't think I've ever seen a Charles Bronson movie. | ||
| What? | ||
| They're just all revenge movies, right? | ||
| Who the fuck are you? | ||
| This is not a revenge movie necessarily. | ||
| I mean, in some ways it kind of is. | ||
| Death Wish is a revenge movie, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Death Wish was a white man's dream. | ||
| The white man is going to go out. | ||
| They raped his daughter or something? | ||
| A bunch of dark-skinned people? | ||
| I don't remember exactly what the premise behind it was. | ||
| I don't know who that guy is, but he's interesting. | ||
| But Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent, they had this movie, which was a classic movie at the time, and then it was redone with Jason Statham and this other guy who is a really good actor. | ||
| Ben Foster. | ||
| That's his name? | ||
| Ben Foster? | ||
| Who was in that movie, 30 Days of Night? | ||
| Did you ever see that movie? | ||
| No, I didn't see that, but he was good in another movie with Woody Harrelson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| About Iraq. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
| I don't remember the name. | ||
| He's great in everything, that fucking guy. | ||
| He's such a good actor. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| All creepy looking. | ||
| So he played the Jan Michael Vincent character, which is an interesting sort of twist on things. | ||
| It wasn't a bad movie. | ||
| It was a pretty good movie. | ||
| I enjoyed it, as far as a mindless action movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're redoing a fucking Charles Bronson movie, man. | ||
| As soon as you try to redo... | ||
| A Charles Bronson movie. | ||
| Do you have any desire for remakes? | ||
| I'm never like, oh, thank God they're remaking it, because I just would rather watch the original. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it contains everything I want, which is the actual movie and then the memories I have of it. | ||
| I like when they remade the Hulk, because they kept doing it over and over and over again. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's just a funny fucking guy trying to bit that's never going to work. | ||
| But they did it with Eric Bana. | ||
| That was shit. | ||
| That was the super emotional one, right? | ||
| That was the Yang Li one that was very emotional. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I gotta say, I didn't really like the last Avengers. | ||
| I should say the first Avengers, because it just seemed like they just spent the whole movie just like, Hey, you guys wanna... | ||
| Hey, you gotta come fight. | ||
| And they'd be like, Nah, I don't wanna. | ||
| No, you gotta come. | ||
| Alright, I'll come. | ||
| And then they had a big fight at the end. | ||
| But the Hulk one was especially shitty. | ||
| I saw The Avengers right after I saw Ex Machina, which was one of my all-time favorite movies. | ||
| Ex Machina was very good, yeah. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| So I saw that one week, and then I saw The Avengers the next week, and I was like, this is shit. | ||
| This is clunky. | ||
| Clunky-ass fucking movie. | ||
| But Homeboy played a way better Hulk. | ||
| What the fuck's his name? | ||
| Mark Ruffalo? | ||
| Ruffalo and then Ed Norton did it too. | ||
| Ed Norton was in the original. | ||
| No, he did the second one. | ||
| What is the Hulk's deal? | ||
| He just doesn't want to fight? | ||
| He's very strong, but he's not interested? | ||
| No. | ||
| He was a scientist. | ||
| The scientist was doing an experiment. | ||
| He was exposed to massive levels of gamma radiation. | ||
| And when he gets angry, you don't want to know him when he's angry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I understand. | |
| I'm not interested in that yet. | ||
| Plus, he's angry all the time. | ||
| That's Mark Ruffalo. | ||
| I'm always angry. | ||
| That's the secret. | ||
| Oh, is that true? | ||
| That's the secret. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| Yeah, so he's a rageaholic. | ||
| Yeah, he just keeps it together and he's but at any moment He could just let it go and when he decides to let it go And he can't control it because why isn't it just one of these things like in the Avengers? | ||
| It seemed like they were like hey come help us with this specific guy Yeah, and he did tough to get him to pay attention But that's the premise, right? | ||
| He can't guide it because it just seems like, hey, Hulk, come. | ||
| And he's like, but you guys are going to make me get angry? | ||
| It seems like a small price to pay. | ||
| Like, yeah, fucking get a little bit angry, guy. | ||
| We need you to save the world, you piece of shit. | ||
| Save the world, you fucking selfish fucking animal. | ||
| Well, when they go to find him the first time, he's in Bangladesh. | ||
| Yeah, he was in like a, remember, save the children type thing. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| I feel like I've given money. | ||
| To support whatever the Hulk is working. | ||
| Whatever Dr. Bruce Banner is working on. | ||
| And they come and get him with fucking rifles drawn and everything like that. | ||
| Didn't you realize? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| That violates the whole premise of what he is. | ||
| All he has to do is get mad. | ||
| Just read the dossier. | ||
| You don't have anything but guns? | ||
| How are you going to stop them? | ||
| They're like, don't move. | ||
| I'm like, oh Jesus, you got me. | ||
| No, you don't have... | ||
| Don't move! | ||
| Oh, don't move, really? | ||
| Don't move? | ||
| What if I fucking move? | ||
| What if I fucking... | ||
| What are they going to do? | ||
| They're going to shoot him before he moves? | ||
| They can't do anything. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| If you have bad news for the Hulk, wait until just the right moment to tell him. | ||
| And also your wife fucking somebody and then you fucking run off. | ||
| Well, maybe that would be the way that you would get him to stop being the Hulk. | ||
| Just give him ecstasy. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the new treatment for the Hulk. | ||
| Just keep him on very micro doses of ecstasy all day long. | ||
| I know a ketamine guy if you need that. | ||
| I also am a little mad that Lou Ferrigno is not involved, because he, to me, was the ultimate Hulk with the ripped jorts, the ripped jean shorts. | ||
| That is always going to be the problem with the Hulk, is how the fuck are those pants still on? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It should be a dick flapping. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Mark, look, I can't even wear pants from someone who weighs 20 pounds less than me. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Just to add to the 70s, it says brown corduroys. | ||
| That's how we used to do it back then, Joey. | ||
| Brown fucking corduroys. | ||
| Well, it was supposed to be purple. | ||
| The Hulk always had purple pants. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| For whatever weird fucking... | ||
| See, it's blue jeans. | ||
| But if you go to the cartoon Hulk, you'll see that he always had purple pants. | ||
| Green and purple are a better mix than green and brown. | ||
| Watch The Hulk's Pants. | ||
| P-A-N-T-S. You've watched Pumping Iron, right? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See? | ||
| Oh, he's purple. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Yeah, I've seen Pumping Iron. | ||
| You see the new one? | ||
| Generation Iron? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Good? | ||
| It's on Netflix. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| It's a banger. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's a banger. | ||
| It's also got one of my favorite moments in a documentary ever, which if you want to bring it up, and you don't laugh at this, then you're not yourself. | ||
| This is like an alien test. | ||
| Like, no, this is Joe Rogan. | ||
| I believe it's Joe Rogan. | ||
| If you laugh at this... | ||
| Well, then now you're setting it up. | ||
| It's a weighted moment. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| It's that good. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's the funniest moment I've ever seen in a documentary. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Are you going to spoil it already? | ||
| No, I'm not going to spoil it already. | ||
| Should we play it? | ||
| Yeah, if you bring it up on Netflix, I will show you where it is. | ||
| Might not be able to do that. | ||
| It's 54 minutes in. | ||
| I recommend this clip a lot. | ||
| Don't you think the clip is probably on YouTube if it's that strong? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Why don't you look up Generation Iron Horse. | ||
| Generation Iron Horse scene. | ||
| Separate words. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I stand by it. | ||
| So, is it just a new film about bodybuilders? | ||
| Yeah, it's a new film about bodybuilders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this it? | |
| Alright, back it up. | ||
| Back it up. | ||
| Back it up. | ||
| Pause it. | ||
| Pause it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| You gotta hear the guy set it up. | ||
| Go all the way to the back of the clip. | ||
| I don't think it's long enough. | ||
| If you show me another one, the guy talks about... | ||
| You see what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Guy riding a horse. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you go back to... | ||
| And the thing is... | ||
| He talked about how he never gets injured. | ||
| He's literally talking about, I never get injured. | ||
| People say I get injured. | ||
| That wasn't even a real injury. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The past two injuries I've had weren't in the gym. | |
| They were outside the gym. | ||
| So I haven't been hurting the gym since 2003. Come on. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Oh shit, the horse is bucking him. | ||
| Son of a bitch! | ||
| The horse just decided enough. | ||
| Yeah, the horse has had enough of him talking about never being injured. | ||
| He's talking about not getting injured and the horse throws him off the fucking horse. | ||
| It's such fucking poetry to me. | ||
| And he lands hard. | ||
| He lands hard and says, oh Jesus, as he lands. | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| You would think that guy's like, well I guess he's kind of protecting a little bit, all that muscle. | ||
| Do you see that car accident sculpture? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, that's right up your alley. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, explain what you're talking about. | ||
| There's an art installation. | ||
| Someone made a sculpture of what the human body would need to look like to withstand a car accident. | ||
| To evolve in order to be able to withstand car accidents. | ||
| I don't know how the fuck they figured this out, though. | ||
| That's one of the weird things. | ||
| I was like, why are their arms so skinny? | ||
| That's one image of it. | ||
| Because there's nothing important in the arms. | ||
| Yeah, bones though. | ||
| It's to protect your brain and your heart. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why does it have nipples? | ||
| What are all those nipples all over the ribcage? | ||
| I think those are like padding. | ||
| Maybe those are nipples. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Those are like when you first get nipples when you're 14. What are those things? | ||
| Ridges? | ||
| Isn't it funny that what we look at today when we see a person, we think it's normal. | ||
| But it's just what we're used to. | ||
| It's just what happened. | ||
| It's just what we are. | ||
| I mean, people are fucking weird looking. | ||
| By the way, they didn't do this guy any favors with the facial hair and the haircut. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird goatee. | ||
| Like, why? | ||
| Like, he looks extra monkey-ish. | ||
| He looks very odd. | ||
| It's really disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird choice. | ||
| And also, like, the line to heaven down to his pecker. | ||
| That hairline? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a weird hair trail. | ||
| Like, what is going on there? | ||
| It looks like a constellation or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or like a Tesla coil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Radiating air. | ||
| Yeah, it's a, I don't know, I guess. | ||
| Do you have a Tesla? | ||
| You don't, right? | ||
| No, I do not. | ||
| Oh, you made the observation, or maybe it was you or Burr made the observation, what if there's a power outage? | ||
| Yeah, well, there's that for sure, but I drove one for a day, and I was shocked at how quick the battery went down. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I drove it from here to my house, to the improv, to my house, to here again, and it was more than half dead. | ||
| And how many miles was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
80? | |
| 100? | ||
| That's not even 60. That's too bad. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, maybe 70, 80, maximum. | ||
| Maximum 80. And it was more than half dead. | ||
| So, like, when they say you can go 300 miles without a charge, or what are they saying? | ||
| 250? | ||
| 250 miles? | ||
| That's under ideal conditions on the highway, 65 miles an hour, drafting behind a fucking semi. | ||
| It's not stop-and-go traffic. | ||
| It's not speeding up, slowing down. | ||
| It's not lights. | ||
| It's not ready. | ||
| It's not ready. | ||
| I think it's ready. | ||
| I mean, depending on how far you need to go, half full is still pretty good. | ||
| Well, sure, you could use it. | ||
| Because the average person only drives 35 miles a day. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, for sure you could use it as a daily driver if you could plug it in every night. | ||
| But it's not ready for me to adopt. | ||
| It's just too limited. | ||
| The fact that it takes so long to recharge, like you can charge in for a certain amount of time and it'll give you like 80%, or the idea that maybe they could swap batteries. | ||
| You pull into a place and they take your batteries out and give you new batteries. | ||
| But then you've got to trust that they're connecting the batteries right. | ||
| You've got to trust that the batteries are good. | ||
| You gotta trust who had the batteries before. | ||
| Did anybody drop them or crack them? | ||
| Are they gonna light my fucking car on fire now? | ||
| Because that was one of the issues they were having with people in the room. | ||
| The Chevy Volt, I have, and there's been no... | ||
| I get 300 miles a gallon. | ||
| I've got... | ||
| That's a hybrid though, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the Teslas, when they first came out, were developing issues where the underbody would get hit by rocks and would start fires. | ||
| And then, do you remember the Fisker? | ||
| Fisker Karma? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know what killed that thing? | ||
| No, what happened? | ||
| Remember that big storm that hit the East Coast? | ||
| There was a big storm that hit the East Coast. | ||
| The sandy one? | ||
| Yeah, I think that was a couple years back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Destroyed a lot of houses in Long Island. | ||
| Yeah, that was Hurricane Sandy. | ||
| They hit a port. | ||
| The storm hit a port where these things were parked. | ||
| And apparently, when they get up to door height in water, they explode. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is the... | ||
| See that? | ||
| See all those fires going on over there in the distance across the river? | ||
| Oh, that's the Transformer. | ||
| That's not the cars. | ||
| That's the Transformer. | ||
| That's the Transformer on the East Village. | ||
| Is this a different video? | ||
| It says Sandy Con Ed Explosion. | ||
| Oh, you got the wrong... | ||
| But there's one that's like this. | ||
| It's pretty similar. | ||
| Find the video of the... | ||
| I heard you can't see any fires. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Maybe they don't have a video of it. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| Anyway, point being, those things, when you get them wet, they blow up, which is not good. | ||
| No, it's not great. | ||
| People don't like that. | ||
| So that company went under. | ||
| Yeah, I have a Volt. | ||
| It's been great. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Like, a hybrid is a really good move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you get, like, gas and electricity, and you can kind of run on both. | ||
| 40 electricity every charge, and I can charge it in four hours for a full charge. | ||
| And pickups good, drives good. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not like, I never really need, like, the only time I'm using pickup is when I'm driving like a dickhead. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So if I try not to drive like that, but if I'm cutting people off and doing shit like that, then you need, yeah, I need pickup because I'm an asshole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But for the most part, I don't need pickup, like, day to day. | ||
| You can only go so fast. | ||
| Well, one of the cool things about a Tesla is the idea of driverless driving. | ||
| That is fucking amazing. | ||
| And I don't blame Tesla at all for the guy dying recently. | ||
| The autopilot one. | ||
| I think they've determined that autopilot didn't have anything to do with that. | ||
| He was watching Harry Potter. | ||
| He was? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was proven. | ||
| It was still playing. | ||
| It was like Greg Giraldo's joke about... | ||
| About rappers watching porn when they get into an accident and they're on the side of the road and the porn is still playing. | ||
| Rappers watching porn? | ||
| I think it was rappers. | ||
| It was people having... | ||
| Everyone on Cribs had monitors in their cars. | ||
| In their SUVs. | ||
| And he was talking about if you got into an accident and you're dying and it's still playing fucking dumb shit on your monitor. | ||
| It's still playing porn? | ||
| Yeah, I think it was porn. | ||
| There was a guy who got killed in Michigan. | ||
| He was jerking off while he was driving. | ||
| His car flipped. | ||
| He was jerking off to his phone. | ||
| Just wait, man. | ||
| Yeah, he can't wait. | ||
| His car flipped and he died and he died with his pants down. | ||
| His phone was still playing the porn when they pulled his lifeless body from the wreckage. | ||
| That's a long clip, by the way. | ||
| More than a dozen Fisker Karma hybrids caught fire and exploded. | ||
| No video, just pictures, I guess. | ||
| So we're wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we have false memories. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That's what happened with Trump on 9-11. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Didn't he help? | ||
| Celebrators. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| In New Jersey. | ||
| Saw him all the way across the river. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, some people must have celebrated. | ||
| So what? | ||
| I don't think anybody was so... | ||
| I mean, I don't think anybody in Jersey... | ||
| I'm sure people were like, yes, but I don't think people were going outside and fucking... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Because that'll get you popped. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Back then, they didn't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, no one... | |
| I mean, that's a fucking chaotic moment to be able to predict what's going to happen. | ||
| Yeah, who did it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Who knows what was going on then? | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| When that first happened... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they could have been, instead of celebrating, they could have been just going, whoa, that's crazy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, you know what's funny is I think I saw it happen, but I was in Paris and I saw, like, someone said, like, I am very sorry what happened to your country. | ||
| And I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Like, the World Trade Center? | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| And then I ran to a monitor and saw, but in my head... | ||
| I saw it live, but I just didn't. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, that's the faultiness of memories, which is creepy. | ||
| That you can't, it's like you say shit with absolutely no certainty at this point. | ||
| Memories are very bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I have some super clear memories that I can verify, but I've also got a lot of fuzzy ones. | ||
| And the problem is when people start attaching all sorts of emotions and all sorts of different things to memories and then they start distorting them and then repeating the distortion of the memory till that becomes the memory and then in their mind like there's people that have been involved in business deals and they think that they were so wronged and everything went so terrible and this piece of shit and then my wife left me and then when you break down to them no no no that didn't happen at all This is what happened. | ||
| Like, they don't want to hear the real... | ||
| Right, and those are people, I think, that are a little bit crazy. | ||
| I'm talking about, you ever be arguing with your wife, and you're like, I didn't say that, and then you think like, did I say that? | ||
| Especially if you're barely paying attention. | ||
| That's the key. | ||
| Long-term relationship keys, just gotta be able to hit the fade button, and they just... | ||
| Do you think that's helpful? | ||
| They drown out. | ||
| And do you think she realizes it? | ||
| What? | ||
| Do you think she knows that? | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did you say? | |
| Yeah, you just fade out. | ||
| But that's exactly the kind of conversations you start having. | ||
| Like, what did you just say? | ||
| I just lost everything. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| Yeah, I crashed. | ||
| So then we're going to light it all on fire. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, now I have to pay attention. | ||
| What are you going to light on fire? | ||
| Who's going to light what on fire? | ||
| Yeah, but that's the thing about relationships. | ||
| It's all kind of important, but none of it's that important. | ||
| In retrospect. | ||
| Hindsight. | ||
| But in the day, on the second of, it's... | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The most nonsensical thing could be so important, Neil Brennan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So important. | ||
| You have many daughters. | ||
| Well, my situation is pretty comfortable and easy to manage, but I have some friends that have some bad relationships with their wives, and it's basically when they get together, it's just who's going to win today's wrestling match. | ||
| How many people do you know with marriages that you envy? | ||
| Let's say you weren't married. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Not many. | ||
| Because that's the thing. | ||
| Not many. | ||
| Most of them, especially from the outside, it looks like way too much work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it looks like disastrous happenings once it breaks off, which is different than a boyfriend-girlfriend. | ||
| If a guy and a girl are dating, and they just decide to call it off, like, this isn't working, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, there's very little cleanup. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you are some man or some woman even, like a woman who makes a shitload of money, and she has a husband that's kind of a layabout, and then... | ||
| That's starting to happen, by the way. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it is. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it is. | ||
| And then all of a sudden this dude wants a ton of alimony. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, whew. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| And this woman, who doesn't even like this guy anymore, has to pay him, you know, 10% or 15% of her salary every week, and she's just like, I can't even believe this. | ||
| Like, that has always been the case with men and women. | ||
| With the man having to pay the woman. | ||
| Alimony's been around forever, right? | ||
| Child support, alimony. | ||
| But now that it's, in more and more cases, becoming the woman paying the man. | ||
| Talk to Roseanne Barr about how much she had to pay Tom Arnold. | ||
| And you're like, what? | ||
| It's legalized stealing mixed in with prostitution. | ||
| It's a long con prostitution. | ||
| Yeah, in many ways. | ||
| And it's involving the legal system and the banks. | ||
| And as soon as there's a system that's set up where people are profiting off that system, good luck prying it from their fucking hands. | ||
| That's the political system that we have right now, but it's also the marriage system. | ||
| If you've talked to someone who's gone through horrific divorces and had to deal with the financial implications or complications, it gets insane. | ||
| Well, that's what a buddy of mine was like. | ||
| My wife, the sad thing is, the deal she's going to get, I offered her two years ago. | ||
| But she's just dragging it out. | ||
| They want to drag it out because it costs you money in legal fees, too. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And you're still connected to them, and they're punishing you if you want to get the divorce, even if you don't want to get the divorce. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| There's a reason why they want to get divorced. | ||
| They're mad at you for some shit. | ||
| My friend has to pay his ex-wife for the rest of her life. | ||
| And he has a new wife. | ||
| He has a family. | ||
| He's got kids. | ||
| She doesn't have a new husband, though. | ||
| No. | ||
| If she has a new husband, then the money cuts off. | ||
| So he has to pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars Every single year for the rest of her life. | ||
| It's almost like he fucked her so hard she can't work anymore. | ||
| That's what the court's saying. | ||
| Well, that's what it is. | ||
| How feeble were, I guess, societally... | ||
| Women had it so much worse in the 70s when these laws were made. | ||
| But it seems like there needs to be some kind of correction. | ||
| You can't have it so that if a guy is married to a woman, he has been not married to her more than he has been married to her. | ||
| He was married to her for like 12 years. | ||
| He's been divorced for like 14. But it doesn't matter. | ||
| He still owes all that money. | ||
| Like because they broke up, He has to pay her because they went past 12 years being married or whatever the number was. | ||
| He has to pay her for the rest of her time on earth. | ||
| Like, he might not have any relationship to her. | ||
| He is responsible for her survival forever. | ||
| And not just survival, but living really well. | ||
| Like, that's stealing. | ||
| I guess the question is, how important were the women who got these laws passed? | ||
| Meaning, what do you think you're doing That is entitling you to this money. | ||
| And this goes for men now, too. | ||
| Because it's like, well, how good of a husband are you that you deserve half of her income forever? | ||
| Clearly you weren't that good because shit didn't work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So there should be a penalty right there. | ||
| There's not. | ||
| I don't think they usually get half forever. | ||
| Or whatever. | ||
| But they get a giant chunk. | ||
| Yeah, a chunk and then a stipend. | ||
| Yeah, they get a monthly payment. | ||
| It's just strange that someone could... | ||
| People meet each other and then it doesn't work out anymore. | ||
| They like each other, they spend time, then they don't want to spend time. | ||
| And when they don't want to spend time, to all of a sudden legally obligate them to send money. | ||
| We're not talking about someone who, by virtue of their relationship, could no longer move her body. | ||
| If a man and a woman gets together, the man has to pay because once a man starts fucking a woman, they eventually go paralyzed. | ||
| It's just how it works. | ||
| It's just nature. | ||
| Yeah, if that was the case, well, yeah, you have to take responsibility for having sex because the man does something to the woman's body. | ||
| By the way, guys would still claim, like, I didn't even, that wasn't even me, man. | ||
| Other guys are fucking harder. | ||
| You think I'm the only one? | ||
| You think I could even fuck a woman fucking into a vegetable? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's stealing. | ||
| But it's also like you're cornering a person and forcing them to just get thrust into this weird legal system. | ||
| So this weird legal system... | ||
| As this thing is spiraling down, the legal system is pulling money out of it. | ||
| So there's this guy who's earning all this money. | ||
| He works 12 hours every day. | ||
| He's constantly hustling and doing deals and this and that, and he's putting it all together. | ||
| And while he's getting divorced to this woman... | ||
| They're going through the court system, and the court system in this two-year fight is spinning this whole thing back and forth, and you need to get more, man, because you have to consider his earning potential is going to increase over the next few years, and it wouldn't have happened if you weren't around. | ||
| I mean, your stability in the relationship is part of the reason why he had the confidence to pursue these business deals, and you should be compensated for it. | ||
| Well, that's what I wonder. | ||
| Who were these wonderful Lawyers. | ||
| Or argue the laws, for sure. | ||
| There's a strong benefit to there being an extreme financial consequence for getting divorced. | ||
| A strong benefit to the people that profit from taking people to divorce court. | ||
| And by the way, that benefit doesn't exist Like, the other way. | ||
| Like, if your lawyer saves you a fuckload of money, he doesn't get a percentage of what he saves you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if the lawyer on the other side, if they can figure out a way to get the court to rob you, like, and you've got to give your wife $50 million or something like that, that lawyer gets a chunk of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Like, he gets paid if he's successful. | ||
| They're incentivized for the law to remain what it is. | ||
| Right, to attack the rich guy, to attack the man or the rich woman, the resound bar situation. | ||
| But that's the way they get the money. | ||
| They don't get the money if you don't get penalized. | ||
| Like, if you go into the case scot-free and, you know, and go, I'm not paying that bitch shit. | ||
| This relationship is over. | ||
| And the jury says, we agree. | ||
| Mr. Brennan, you can rock. | ||
| And so you're like, that's right, bitch. | ||
| All you're doing is going to pay your lawyer's hourly rates. | ||
| And there's no financial benefit to getting this done quickly. | ||
| The financial benefit is to drag this fucking thing off for two years and then let you know, hey, we got out of it. | ||
| And the law is the law. | ||
| It's like mandatory minimum sentencing. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's nothing they can really do unless you have a prenup or you can get a litigator or whatever the... | ||
| We're a mediator. | ||
| I think you can pay less than normal with a mediator. | ||
| There's also... | ||
| Here's another situation. | ||
| Someone was talking to me about a Donald Sterling type sugar daddy situation. | ||
| And they were saying that it's awful that these men get preyed upon by these vicious women. | ||
| I'm like, if you don't know that that girl is fucking you because you're rich, if you have... | ||
| A hundred billion dollars, and you're 90 years old, and this girl tells you she loves you, and she's with you all the time, she's acting perfect, you don't know that she wants that money. | ||
| And by the way, if she's fucking you, she deserves a lot of money. | ||
| At least as much as you're gonna get. | ||
| At least half. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| If you're a Donald Sterling type character and you've got some 25 year old super hot stripper that you're laying pipe to, you gotta pay her a lot. | ||
| Because what she's doing is, first of all, very difficult to do. | ||
| She's pretending to be attracted to you and you're disgusting. | ||
| It's acting and basically surgery. | ||
| It's the worst parts of acting and surgery. | ||
| And it's super valuable to you. | ||
| Like if you're that old rich guy and you have a 25 year old wife. | ||
| You can get anything on earth except young girls. | ||
| You gotta pay. | ||
| Literally you can get anything you want. | ||
| Like Lamborghinis cost less. | ||
| They're more accessible to you than a young girl that's actually attracted to you. | ||
| A young girl that's actually attracted to you doesn't exist. | ||
| They're unicorns. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's a leprechaun. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Mythical creatures. | ||
| They do not exist. | ||
| Only in your imagination do they exist. | ||
| But if you keep her, like, constantly, like, covered in diamonds and furs and whatever the fuck she needs and crocodile skin purses and Chinese named shoes and whatever the fuck you need. | ||
| Do you believe that it is possible to be legitimately attracted to a Donald Sterling type? | ||
| I think there are women with big enough father issues that like, yeah, I'm legitimately attracted to him like I would be a 20-year-old. | ||
| I would never say that anything when it comes to attraction is impossible. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Because there's chubby chasers, there's people that are into weird shit, man. | ||
| There's people that are into weird shit. | ||
| And there's a lot of women that find older men hot. | ||
| They like the idea of some white-haired old dude laying dick into them. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, people like weird shit. | ||
| People like furries. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are really into being a furry. | ||
| I also have no problem with prostitution on its face. | ||
| Like, I don't have a... | ||
| Like, why do I care? | ||
| Why is it okay to get a massage? | ||
| It's not okay to get a handjob. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| It's too good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we're regulating sex like we're Puritans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| But it's also... | ||
| You have to think, if it was legal, would it encourage or would it discourage the sex trade? | ||
| Like, in terms of, like, you have to worry about, like, sex slaves. | ||
| You know, those are real issues. | ||
| And it's an issue that's completely unresolved, because people on both sides of it claim they're right, and they both seem to have a good argument. | ||
| And then also the argument is, like, isn't it possible that there's a big fucking difference between a sex slave and a woman who, like, maybe she's like a young girl living in New York City, the rent's really high, she decides to fuck some rich guys for money. | ||
| Like, why is that worse than working at Denny's? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Why is it worse? | ||
| I would go a step further, which is, let's say it is an emotional problem. | ||
| She was molested, she gets treated, whatever. | ||
| That's no different than the reason most people I know are in showbiz. | ||
| And I don't see anyone picketing that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's based on an emotional stunt. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And why is it sex? | ||
| Why is sex the only thing that you can't take money for? | ||
| Because Jesus. | ||
| That's really why. | ||
| Because Jesus. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's a weird thing that sex is the only thing that you can't take money for ever. | ||
| You can't take money for it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you can. | ||
| You just gotta be slick about it. | ||
| You can, yeah. | ||
| Well, they dress it up. | ||
| They call it dinner. | ||
| Yeah, if a girl's your sugar baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it sugar baby? | ||
| No, sugar would be they would pay. | ||
| Sugar daddy and sugar baby is your baby. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Sugar daddy, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, whatever the girl's name, whatever you would call her, if she's dating some super billionaire type Richard Branson type character and he just gives her a salary, Like, what if she's got a salary? | ||
| It's like, look, baby, you get $5,000 a week to just go crazy with and give you a credit card. | ||
| It's got a $50,000 limit. | ||
| Here's your fucking Bentley. | ||
| Here's the keys. | ||
| You're all set. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| She's on the payroll. | ||
| Is that a prostitute? | ||
| Roger Ailes, the guy at Fox News, had that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did? | |
| On staff, yeah. | ||
| And it was an open secret. | ||
| How many did he have? | ||
| He had one, but then he would just harass everybody else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, she was on staff for years. | ||
| She was a researcher. | ||
| Researcher. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe she really was a researcher. | ||
| I'm sure she must have done something worthwhile. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| At least something. | ||
| Something to write up a memo or something. | ||
| Is that a business partner? | ||
| Well, that's the thing of, like, this thing of sex. | ||
| If you look at sex as this holy sacrament, then it is—if you look at every ejaculation as a holy sacrament, which the church would have you believe, and then they get into government and they make laws, whatever, then it's not legal. | ||
| But if you look at it like a milking or even a teeth cleaning or a haircut— Or anything that you need, any service that you need fairly regularly, then all laws are nonsense for the most part. | ||
| Isn't part of the problem, too, is the immediately accessible nature of the sex is troublesome to some people? | ||
| Because if you have a relationship with someone who's basically fucking you for your money, at least you have this relationship with them and you hang out with them for long periods of time. | ||
| You have to spend time with them. | ||
| There's a lot of time that's not having sex. | ||
| So you actually have to be friends with them in some sort of a way. | ||
| But the sex for money thing, you just show up and you go, yeah, I'd like to pay for sex. | ||
| And then you go and you have the sex and you're like, here's your money, thanks, bye. | ||
| People have a problem with the brevity of it. | ||
| Like, well, he's not even entangled here. | ||
| Yes, it's too transactional. | ||
| It goes against God. | ||
| To their minds, it goes against God. | ||
| It's like, that's not what God... | ||
| God wants you to sit there and be bored. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And go on a drive and help listen to their... | ||
| They listen to your stupid stories. | ||
| You listen to their stupid stories. | ||
| You bore the fuck out of each other. | ||
| You comfort each other. | ||
| Those are the rules. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's how we do things. | ||
| That's the fucking rules. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't just be going in there all willy-nilly, getting paid money for sex. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's too... | ||
| It's like too... | ||
| And I guess because... | ||
| Sex can create life. | ||
| You know, the other thing is the pill is pretty new, man. | ||
| That's true, too. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Abortion and the pill are both pretty new, and the laws haven't really caught up. | ||
| Well, it's just, you shouldn't be able to tell people what they can or can't do with their body that doesn't hurt anybody other than them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, you can't tell someone that they can't play rugby. | ||
| You can't say, no, you can't play rugby, because rugby, they run into each other, and you're gonna get hurt. | ||
| What do you think's gonna happen in the NFL? I don't know enough about it, but what I do know is that there's a lot of people that have some serious fucking brain damage from playing football. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| I've met people that have played for it, that are pretty open about it, and then I met Michael Irvin. | ||
| I don't know what issues he suffered from it, but that guy is sharp as a tack. | ||
| He's sharp as a tack when you talk to him. | ||
| Well, he offset it with cocaine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Balance it out? | ||
| I don't know now, but yeah. | ||
| Super intelligent, analytical guy. | ||
| A lot of them are very smart, but it's a late-onset thing for a lot of guys. | ||
| Yeah, no, for sure. | ||
| I was talking to a guy who plays, and he was saying, like, I said something about he plays whatever, and he goes, yeah. | ||
| He's like, it's not that hard. | ||
| He goes, on offense, you have to remember more shit. | ||
| He goes, but there are times on defense where I'll... | ||
| Blackout and not know what's going on. | ||
| And you just keep playing. | ||
| Which is like, phew. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, alright. | ||
| So is the blackout from memory or from stress? | ||
| It's from impact. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, cranial impact. | ||
| And it sounds like that's all of them. | ||
| He didn't say it like... | ||
| He said it completely, like, conversationally. | ||
| He didn't say it like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I've got a problem, mister. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Well, I think they're used to so much trauma. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're used to running at each other full clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We don't think of it as being the most violent sport because we think of MMA as being more violent because you're actually trying to hit the person. | ||
| That's the goal is to try to hurt them with your hands or your feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's not nearly as powerful, someone running into you. | ||
| Like, someone running into you, that's a crazy amount of force. | ||
| Into your head, with their head. | ||
| I think that's where the league may be headed, is no helmets. | ||
| Sometimes they go flying through the air, like you see guys get clipped. | ||
| And spin. | ||
| And they spin, or they disgravitate. | ||
| Somebody just knocked a 200-plus pound man through the air like a pillow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's a car accident. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy just got hit by a truck. | ||
| He got hit by a 300 pound truck. | ||
| Every play I think someone died. | ||
| I'm not even kidding. | ||
| When you watch it, you go, oh, that guy's dead. | ||
| He's definitely dead. | ||
| I know I'd be dead if that happened to me. | ||
| But it goes to that weird thing where they have powerful, more powerful fucking mandibles and weird muscles. | ||
| I think they build up a tolerance. | ||
| I don't know about all that. | ||
| I think after a while they all just go down. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Look, they're running at each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Running. | |
| Here comes another guy. | ||
| Look out. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Oh, that was just a good play. | ||
| That's nothing. | ||
| That was an excellent play. | ||
| Oh, that was good. | ||
| But look, there's something dope about it, right? | ||
| Like with this guy. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He took a hard hit there, and he kept going. | ||
| It's completely elemental. | ||
| It's the most basic instinct ever. | ||
| In the world. | ||
| It's like running from a scary thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| There's that element of it that works. | ||
| It's so primal that you're like, God, it's so exciting. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy got lambasted. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about you're running from someone who's trying to harm you as well. | ||
| It's the most basic. | ||
| Some primal shit. | ||
| Yeah, primal, the monster, the lion, the whatever's coming to get you. | ||
| And then there's the warfare element, like the ground warfare of capturing, taking the hill or whatever. | ||
| I get why it works. | ||
| I think they just gotta get rid of the helmets. | ||
| It's amazingly difficult to maneuver your body the way these guys are doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you watch the OJ documentary? | ||
| No. | ||
| One of the big takeaways is how good OJ was at football. | ||
| Because I'm not old enough to remember O.J. playing football. | ||
| So I heard he ran for 2,000 yards, but one of the episodes, five parts, one of the parts is basically just about that, about how nice he was at football. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And he did it in 14 games, and he was like, it's crazy. | ||
| Well, you know, one of his doctors said that if he had to rerun the trial today, he would bring up CTE. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which is... | |
| That's a weird thing to do because then they would have to admit that he actually did it because the trial... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But can you let... | ||
| Yeah, then they have to make a law about that. | ||
| What's weird, too, because we all know he's in jail for those murders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They ain't calling it that. | ||
| They're not calling it that? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, they found a loophole, and they're like, yeah, I don't see any reason to not use this. | ||
| He's in jail for souvenirs. | ||
| He's in jail for... | ||
| That's a really... | ||
| The fifth part, if you've got to watch it, by the way, I demand it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I absolutely demand it. | ||
| Because it recontextualizes something that you think you know everything about. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it talks to Mark Furman. | ||
| Mark Furman's justification for not being racist is... | ||
| I'm not racist. | ||
| When I was out on the street, if somebody wanted to go with me, I'd fight him straight up. | ||
| And that's his reasoning. | ||
| Like, so therefore, I'm not racist. | ||
| Where you're just like, woo! | ||
| But at the same time, I kind of like Mark Furman after watching the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Kind of. | ||
| Like, meaning, I understood his... | ||
| He makes sense to himself. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you see his lodge and go, alright, I know why he thinks the way he thinks. | ||
| But, uh, not like I'm a fan of the guy, but you know what I mean. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| But, uh, but, yeah, like, it's an amazing movie. | ||
| And could you, could, if they did say it was CTE... Then we kind of lost the book. | ||
| It's like temporary insanity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, not really. | ||
| You'd have to really quantify what kind of an effect CTE had on him. | ||
| You'd have to be able to figure it out. | ||
| Like, is it responsible for you going, man, I don't know. | ||
| Should I? And take that from, man, I'm thinking about doing this, too. | ||
| Or is it completely responsible? | ||
| Like, how much of the CTE is responsible for your decision-making process? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there are guys that say they black out behaviorally. | ||
| They black out. | ||
| And you have to believe them. | ||
| You have to think that there's for sure going to be some severe neurological implications of getting smashed in the head over and over again by big gigantic dudes like that. | ||
| CTE suffering. | ||
| You must have gotten a bunch of concussions, right? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| What were the vomiting and grogginess and all that shit? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do remember sparring sessions, just sparring sessions, where I got my bell rang and I'd go home and lay in bed and my fucking head would be throbbing and aching, just boom, boom, boom, just sitting there. | ||
| Every heartbeat. | ||
| And you're thinking, what am I doing with my brain? | ||
| That's what I was thinking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's not even any money in this. | ||
| I'm getting punched in the head all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I was doing a lot of sparring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| And wearing headgear? | ||
| No! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| God, no! | ||
| Why? | ||
| Headgear, I couldn't see kicks coming. | ||
| I didn't like headgear. | ||
| Headgear's weird when you're throwing kicks. | ||
| Would other guys wear them? | ||
| Guys wear them. | ||
| I mean, a lot of UFC fighters wear them. | ||
| A lot of people don't. | ||
| I had a problem with them. | ||
| I tried to wear the ones where there's a bar that goes across your face to protect your nose. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| You can't see shit. | ||
| For me, I had to go like the Mike Tyson style, which is one that Mike Tyson used to wear, where a lot of his face was exposed. | ||
| A lot of people kind of criticized it because they said that he was more open to cuts, and there's a reason why they had those big cheek. | ||
| But you can't see left and right, like peripherals. | ||
| If you're sparring a guy and he throws real wide stuff on you, especially kicks, guys who sneak kicks around your shoulder, you literally don't see them until they're on your neck. | ||
| And it's not good. | ||
| I didn't like it. | ||
| I was like, I'd rather get hit. | ||
| With no headgear on... | ||
| Well, then you have a chance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like I can move with it better. | ||
| You're still in a bad spot, but the real issue is cuts. | ||
| Because a lot of guys get cut in sparring. | ||
| You might collide heads, you might an elbow or something like that. | ||
| And when that does happen, the problem is then it could delay a fight. | ||
| And if you're an MMA fighter and you're training for it, it's probably pretty smart to wear headgear. | ||
| But it doesn't really protect your head that much. | ||
| In fact, there's an argument that it acts as more of a fulcrum point. | ||
| Because the headgear makes your head larger. | ||
| So you can like... | ||
| Yeah, that's interesting. | ||
| The weight and everything, it actually can make your head move more. | ||
| Well, it's funny what happens to your brain, which is it just goes flying against your skull. | ||
| There's nothing technical about it. | ||
| It just goes like, boop! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it can't maintain signal while that's going on. | ||
| It can't maintain order. | ||
| And especially if you get hit in the base of your head, like one of the scariest kicks that you can get hit with, that a lot of guys get hit with, is neck kicks. | ||
| You get necked. | ||
| And when you get neck kicked, guys go down like they got shot. | ||
| Because of what gets hurt? | ||
| It just shuts your brain off. | ||
| Oh, it's like this thing? | ||
| The jugular punch thing? | ||
| No, it's the shin slams basically against the base of your skull. | ||
| It's like really the back of the head. | ||
| The shin is basically a switchblade on your leg. | ||
| Here, Google this. | ||
| Ernesto Hoost K.O.'s Maurice Smith. | ||
| Maurice Smith is a good friend of mine, and he's a former UFC heavyweight champion, former world Muay Thai fighter, Muay Thai champion. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| But he fought this guy who was just one of the greatest of all time, Ernesto Hoos, and he got caught with a kick to his neck. | ||
| And I knew how tough Maurice is, and I knew how good of a fighter he is. | ||
| So when you see a guy who's at the level that Maurice is, watch this. | ||
| Boop! | ||
| See how he threw that over the top of his head? | ||
| It's like the top of his spine. | ||
| Yeah, and he just shut Maurice off. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He slides on the outside and he lifts his head up. | ||
| It lifts his foot up, rather, and goes over the shoulder, where Maurice doesn't even see it coming until it's already too late, and it hits the back of his head. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And that's his foot, which isn't even that hard. | ||
| Well, it's still hard. | ||
| It's Ernesto Hoos' foot, but it could be way worse. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| If it was a little bit further back, then it would have been his shin. | ||
| Like his shin, it's over. | ||
| But a lot of guys knock guys out dead cold with a foot. | ||
| Well, that's an elite. | ||
| You can't punch the back of the head in boxing, right? | ||
| But you can kick guys, and when you land, it oftentimes lands in the back of the head, and no one ever thinks there's anything wrong with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| It's a super gray area. | ||
| So you can't punch in MMA? Exactly. | ||
| You cannot punch the back of the neck and head, but you can kick. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's very odd. | ||
| It's so odd. | ||
| Well, it's an issue with kickboxing as well, because some of the best techniques land on the back of the head. | ||
| Like here's another one that does all the time too, wheel kicks. | ||
| Like someone will throw a wheel kick, like a spinning heel kick, and they'll catch a guy, boom, right on the back of the head. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| And technically, it's an illegal place to hit someone, but because head kicks are like... | ||
| That's sort of like the ultimate striking weapon. | ||
| Like if you knock someone out, like knocking someone out with a head kick is like the ultimate striking weapon. | ||
| Because it's everything we always wanted to see in karate movies, you know? | ||
| So because of that is so encouraged to like whoosh! | ||
| The guy just knocked him, he kicked him in the head! | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Because it's so encouraged, we don't think about the implications of kicking someone in the back of the head, which is probably way worse than punching someone in the back of the head. | ||
| But it happens all the time in kickboxing and all the time in MMA. It's one of those weird things where nobody wants to talk about it, but everybody knows it's the case. | ||
| You're kicking a guy in a totally illegal spot. | ||
| Do fighters acknowledge how double the standard is? | ||
| They all know it. | ||
| They all know it for sure. | ||
| Everybody knows it. | ||
| Especially everybody who's been hit by one of those or hit somebody with one of those. | ||
| You know where you're hitting them. | ||
| A lot of times you're hitting the back of the head. | ||
| Where can you punch? | ||
| You can punch all the back? | ||
| All over the body. | ||
| You can punch the legs. | ||
| You can't punch the groin. | ||
| But you can punch somebody in the ass. | ||
| You can punch in the back? | ||
| You can punch him in the back. | ||
| You can't punch the spine. | ||
| You cannot punch above the shoulders. | ||
| Or you can't elbow strike the spine. | ||
| There's some weird rules. | ||
| Actually, we were talking about this yesterday. | ||
| Jamie and I looked up. | ||
| Jamie said they came up with some new rules. | ||
| And one of them involves knees to the head to a downed opponent. | ||
| Now, a downed opponent means you have to have both hands down on the mat. | ||
| And your palm has to be flat. | ||
| You can't have just one. | ||
| If you have one hand up, they can knee you in the face. | ||
| So that's not a downed opponent, because there's a lot of people that are criticizing this downed opponent thing, because people were sort of what they would call gaming the system, where you would lean down, you just touch your hand on the ground like as if it's safe, and then the guy can't hit you. | ||
| So that's how you're getting out of exchanging. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| Instead of you're totally capable of standing up or totally capable of covering up. | ||
| You can make your choice. | ||
| You got to this position or he got you to this position. | ||
| It's advantageous for him. | ||
| Feels like a fairly standard position. | ||
| Yeah, it happens all the time. | ||
| But the issue becomes if you are incapable of getting out of the way, should you be able to knee a guy in the head? | ||
| Because some guys, when they're down like that, it's like, whoa, that's a devastating maneuver to knee a guy in the head when they're in that position. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For good reason. | ||
| They wanted to decide when it should be legal because there's other organizations where you could do crazy stuff like stomping people. | ||
| You can stomp people, like stomp their head in certain organizations. | ||
| That was a big one in Pride. | ||
| You could soccer kick guys and stomp them. | ||
| But oddly enough, they didn't allow elbows on the ground. | ||
| They felt elbows on the ground were barbaric. | ||
| Or something. | ||
| They had a line. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Everybody's good. | ||
| People are so crazy with their lines that they draw. | ||
| Can I pee real quick? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's the Joe Rogan part where I have to go to the bathroom. | ||
| You're drinking that delicious Pellegrino. | ||
| I got into bubbly water lately, Jamie. | ||
| I hate to admit it. | ||
| I like sparkling water now. | ||
| I used to think there's no nutritional benefits. | ||
| I had it in my head that regular water was better for you. | ||
| Was that your thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Keepers of the Ark of the Covenant, I found. | ||
| I looked up. | ||
| I found something where it said that there was a report of one of them having milky cataracts in a description, but it's not all of them from what I'm reading. | ||
| Goddammit, Graham Hancock. | ||
| Christians in Ethiopia have long claimed to have the Ark of the Covenant, a reporter investigated. | ||
| Go down to the very last chapter. | ||
| Or the very last paragraph, rather. | ||
| Let's see what the fuck they said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, that's the thing about these things. | ||
| The final moments of any search. | ||
| I could not judge whether the Ark of the Covenant truly rested inside the nondescript chapel. | ||
| Perhaps Menelik's traveling companions did take it and spirited home to Ethiopia. | ||
| Perhaps its origins here stem from the tail spun by... | ||
| So, nothing. | ||
| He's got no evidence. | ||
| Yeah, there was apparently also a storm and leaky roof that was going to make them move it in 2012, but I didn't find anything that said that, whether it was seen or not. | ||
| And the Baghdad battery was supposedly also not a battery. | ||
| They think it was used for electroplating statues with gold and silver. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| So there was a little bit of a charge in there, but not enough to be power or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Considered a battery. | |
| Oh, so it was just the way they kind of made paint. | ||
| Yeah, sort of. | ||
| They would cover stuff. | ||
| So I think the hypothesis is they would spin it in there and it would create a bond to the stone or whatever they were. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| So that's the way they would use it on statues and stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking amazing. | |
| Goddamn. | ||
| It's so cool when you think of how these people had to use their little monkey brains to invent the first wheel or to invent pottery. | ||
| Like the people that... | ||
| I mean, when did they figure out pottery? | ||
| If you had to guess, let's guess. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| 5000 BC? Not far after fire. | ||
| Not far after fire? | ||
| They just figured out they could harden stuff? | ||
| Yeah, stuff probably just accidentally got hard. | ||
| Let's Google it. | ||
| I say 5,000 BC. No, that doesn't make any sense because, like, Qumran, or, uh, not Qumran, Sumer. | ||
| Sumer was before that. | ||
| 6,000 and 4,000. | ||
| This is a potter's wheel, though. | ||
| Oh, oh, okay. | ||
| This potter's wheel was invented in Mesopotamia sometime in between 6,000 and 4,000 BC. Does that say 4,000 BC? Ubaid period. | ||
| You guys going over ancient inventions? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| We're trying to figure out when they invented pottery. | ||
| Oh, that has to be a long time ago. | ||
| We were looking at the Baghdad battery that we were looking at earlier. | ||
| Apparently, Jamie found out that it might have been used to electroplate gold, that it created a small charge, but it really wasn't a battery. | ||
| It was just used to make almost like electric paint. | ||
| And then we're trying to figure out, well, I was like, how fucking cool is that? | ||
| Like, how crazy were the first people, the first monkey people from, like, a million years ago, or whatever it was, that figured out how to make a flint knife? | ||
| You know? | ||
| And the first people that figured out pottery. | ||
| They figured out how to roll dirt and light it on fire. | ||
| There's a cool... | ||
| Duncan brought up his last appearance, not his most recent one. | ||
| There's a cool YouTube channel of a guy that does this. | ||
| He makes tons of different... | ||
| Experiments and trying out primitive technologies and processes. | ||
| He doesn't talk at all. | ||
| I'm going to look it up so I can find out what it's called. | ||
| But he just made a really cool one where he pulled little pieces of metal out of iron ore. | ||
| And he invented this way to get his flame hotter using some sort of thing. | ||
| And he makes the whole thing. | ||
| It's really, really cool. | ||
| It's just amazing when you think of How long ago was it? | ||
| Well, we don't even know what it was. | ||
| It's someone first invented pottery. | ||
| That potter's wheel was at least 6,000 or at least 4,000 BC. There's also the idea that people invented it and it just never got out before that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| 2,000 years earlier, maybe somebody invents it and then he just never, no one ever leaves that village. | ||
| Yeah, that definitely could be it. | ||
| So what is this gentleman doing? | ||
| It's called Primitive Technologies, the YouTube channel. | ||
| So it shows him he's making a forge blower. | ||
| What's funny is he has cave hands. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He looks like the original. | ||
| This dude is one of... | ||
| There's a bunch of people now that are experts in ancient ways of living. | ||
| Like ancient archery and ancient house building and shit. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Well, there's something that I was going to say. | ||
| Do you meditate at all? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, sort of. | ||
| In the tank, I do. | ||
| So I went on a seven-day silent meditation retreat. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No talking for seven days? | ||
| No talking. | ||
| Well, it ended up being like, we talked for three minutes starting day three. | ||
| We'd talk for three minutes a day. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| On day three? | ||
| I fucking cried. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Because you couldn't talk. | ||
| Because, dude, no talking, no television, no computer, no phone. | ||
| What? | ||
| Here's the worst part. | ||
| No reading, no writing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Just meditating. | ||
| And, like, eating and whatever, and being in this village thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| But, uh, this video's fucking really cool. | ||
| This video's dope as fuck. | ||
| This guy made these, uh, made like a little furnace. | ||
| Blower out of this pottery thing with a wheel inside of it that he would spin and it would blow air. | ||
| With a fan. | ||
| Yeah, it's got like a handmade fan and he does it by moving it around with his fingers. | ||
| And now he's like making a rope and a twine so he could pull it probably like a bow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what he's been able to do with it is stoke this fire up in this incredible way. | ||
| I mean it's just blazing. | ||
| And it's all from the wind that he's blowing into it with this crazy invention. | ||
| And this is some shit that people did, what, thousands of years ago or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was cool to watch him problem-solve, all these things. | ||
| He just keeps happening. | ||
| His first early videos, he makes this hut that's behind him, and it's just out of nowhere. | ||
| He's just in the middle of the forest, and he goes, and he makes his little bricks, and he heats them up in a kiln he made. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And he started with no fire, and he's built all this stuff. | ||
| It's pretty cool to watch. | ||
| This is wild, though. | ||
| He's doing it all with clay and shit. | ||
| There's a bunch- Ooh, it's diarrhea. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Don't eat that. | ||
| What the fuck is he making, man? | ||
| He's getting the carbon and putting it in with the iron ore, and he puts it in the- Oh, that's right. | ||
| He's gonna make metal? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| Is he making coal? | ||
| What's he making? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's gonna make metal. | ||
| This is how people did it, man. | ||
| What's really crazy is someone had to figure out how to take all the elements that are involved in metal. | ||
| The camera's about to catch on fire. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| This is wild. | ||
| It looks like fake fire. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Looks like some CGI fire. | ||
| This is all CIA bullshit. | ||
| This is preparing us for the zombie apocalypse. | ||
| They're teaching us when the grid goes down how to make our own fire. | ||
| Yeah, so silent meditation retreat. | ||
| So wake up at... | ||
| So day one I cried. | ||
| Cried. | ||
| Straight up cried. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| From like... | ||
| It feels like you're dead. | ||
| You can't talk to anyone you know. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And you can't get online. | ||
| You can't read. | ||
| You literally are like an apparition. | ||
| You're just walking around like a ghost. | ||
| But day three and four were two of the best days of my life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because all you're doing is meditating, and meditation just stimulates your brain and makes you happy. | ||
| Proven. | ||
| Monks take MRIs and they just look like they don't stress. | ||
| They have incredibly low levels of cortisol and very high levels of positive chemicals. | ||
| So I would meditate nine hours a day. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, and you just end up like... | ||
| And the other thing I would do, because I couldn't... | ||
| No one could talk and I didn't really need to talk to anybody... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would smile all day. | |
| So if you smile all day, it tricks your brain to think you're happy. | ||
| Because your brain doesn't know, like, if your muscles are just, they go, oh, I guess we're happy. | ||
| So everybody act happy. | ||
| It can work backwards. | ||
| Paul Eichmann wrote a book. | ||
| But it was, yeah, it was an amazing experience. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And what I realized is I came away with, like, I'm so overstimulated at home. | ||
| With podcasts, television shows, computers, fucking phones, texting constantly, that it's made me really cut back on everything in a way that's very, very positive, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, dude, I wake up, I don't, most people wake up and you immediately, like, mainline Information or technology like right like I used to do when I smoke cigarettes I would wake up and have four cigarettes and drink coffee and just like shock my body and I feel like And I feel like that's what I do now all right what I used to do with technology just like constantly turn my phone on Go on New York Times go on this thing going and I go on reddit go on all these places and it wasn't make it was just stressing me out Yeah, | ||
|
unidentified
|
it doesn't make you feel good Yeah, but that's hard. | |
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This thing that we all do constantly, we acknowledge, like, it doesn't make me feel good. | ||
| Yeah, we need discipline. | ||
| That's a big factor in managing the electronic world, is discipline. | ||
| The discipline to not watch too much television. | ||
| The discipline to not fuck around on your phone too much. | ||
| The discipline to not play games too much. | ||
| You can get lurched in. | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
| Lurched? | ||
| Sure, we know what you meant. | ||
| Communicated? | ||
| It's not really the right word. | ||
| It's probably not ultimately beneficial. | ||
| A certain amount of access to it is really good, but it's so addictive. | ||
| We should have one person, a responsible guy, like, will you look up... | ||
| The world should have that. | ||
| Where it's like, hey, look up when so-and-so was invented, but for the most part we can just communicate. | ||
| Because that's the thing... | ||
| That's another one of those things where you talk about what... | ||
| Because I look up what actually makes people happy. | ||
| Communication, real connection, community, volunteering makes people happier. | ||
| I'm in the Big Brothers program and it's like, eh, it's not bad. | ||
| It hasn't given me a spike or anything. | ||
| A spike? | ||
| Of adrenaline or good feelings. | ||
| Not even adrenaline. | ||
| Serotonin. | ||
| But really connecting with people. | ||
| That may be what you like about doing the show. | ||
| Because I always find that I enjoy doing the show. | ||
| And people are like, it's so long. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I know, it's long. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| There's something about just like sitting here and just like staring at each other. | ||
| And like, what else do you think? | ||
| Do you think that? | ||
| Here's what I think. | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| And there's something about it for listeners probably too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's so long form that you get, everybody gets real relaxed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you get to, it becomes more of the way I listen to it. | ||
| Like a lot of guys do it this way now. | ||
| Ari does it this way. | ||
| A lot of guys do it. | ||
| They just let it go as long as it goes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when you do that, like, conversations, they evolve. | ||
| They move around. | ||
| They get deeper, they get lighter, they get silly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no, it's not organized. | ||
| And I like listening to people talk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you like ideas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you like to hear, like, what's your idea? | ||
| That's not a good idea. | ||
| That is a good idea. | ||
| You've got to be super flexible with your ideas. | ||
| I've gotten way better at that since I started doing a podcast. | ||
| Way better at trying to figure out, like, what is it about an idea that I disagree with? | ||
| And how much of it is that I had a different idea than that idea in my head, a preconceived notion. | ||
| How much of that is how I'm affected by the disagreement or the... | ||
| It's called motivated reasoning. | ||
| Yeah, that's a perfect way of describing it. | ||
| That's exactly what it is, right? | ||
| That's super common, man, for all of us. | ||
| us and I think that having conversations on a podcast with a variety of different people that have a variety of different opinions has been really interesting because I get to challenge my own opinions like well where are my opinions coming from yeah they've been really vetted out yeah or they just some like convenient stuff that I've helped held on to Well, yeah, you have the shelving built, you have all the shit, you have like, eh, I got the t-shirt, I got the old thing. | ||
| I got the right adapter, I don't want to get in the phone. | ||
| That's exactly right, yeah. | ||
| But yeah, so it is this, that was what I learned, like, the walking around, not having to talk to people was cool in that there was no pressure. | ||
| And it was also, like, the least sexual environment I've ever been in. | ||
| Because everyone just looks like they have the flu, basically. | ||
| People are struggling. | ||
| Did they have rules? | ||
| Could people hook up? | ||
| It was discouraged. | ||
| I also would say, like, everyone... | ||
| I didn't have a roommate, but, like, you're in, like, Olympic-style dorms, like, where you have a roommate, and there's, like, eight rooms on each floor. | ||
| It was like a summer camp, basically, where you did nothing. | ||
| It seriously would be kind of hot, though. | ||
| Having been there... | ||
| Diane and a gal, both single, both can't talk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Having been there, though, it runs counter to what you're going for. | ||
| You're like, really, it's fucking interesting where you go like, you really see what's inside. | ||
| Because I was trying to think of what it was like. | ||
| Like, oh, it was like basketball camp. | ||
| I was like, no, basketball camp, we had TV, VCRs, and talk the entire time. | ||
| This was like nothing. | ||
| It's like nothing you've ever done. | ||
| And then they would do a talk every night about some theme, some Buddhist theme, and then the next day you would talk in a group about that. | ||
| And what I found was I didn't even really want to talk. | ||
| It's like, fuck it. | ||
| I've come this far. | ||
| Let me see how long I can not... | ||
| Let me just see what... | ||
| But you see what's in there. | ||
| And you see what your brain does. | ||
| You see what you're interested in. | ||
| You see what you remember. | ||
| Any recall? | ||
| My recall was really good because your brain's... | ||
| What I realized with all the technology is I would create chaos in my head. | ||
| With so many voices and sounds and noises that I couldn't remember shit because I can't even get back there. | ||
| I can't even get through all this garbage to the file that I'm looking for. | ||
| So if I couldn't remember something, I'd be like, just hang out. | ||
| It'll come. | ||
| And it would always come. | ||
| But that was the thing of like, I don't listen to the radio when I'm in my car now, which is odd. | ||
| So I just drive like a fucking old man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Just literally just me and fucking me in silence. | ||
| Just to limit the amount of signals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's not easy, but yeah. | ||
| I got a buddy of mine who lives in Australia, rather. | ||
| I want to say Alaska or something. | ||
| He lives in Australia, and he takes these trips out to the bush where he goes out camping, and he'll be gone for like eight, nine days, or he won't see people for like nine days. | ||
| And he said that when he comes back... | ||
| Oftentimes it feels really weird to talk to people like almost like forgot how to talk to people Where it's been nothing but him alone with his thoughts with no cell phone service for like eight or nine days Yeah, it's really worthwhile because what I also realized is that I was like With all the signal and all the noise and everything is I was upsetting myself. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, nah, I don't need this much. | ||
| And I would just overload myself. | ||
| Like, no, we're in the golden age of information and I can access any fucking video and look at the Godfather and fucking Scarface and all this shit. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| No. | ||
| You need to slow down, man. | ||
| Like, that's kind of my temperament, but at the same time, my nervous system was, like, screaming. | ||
| Like, you gotta chill out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't smoke weed or anything like that, so I don't have any way to... | ||
| Separate? | ||
| Yeah, or to quiet my nervous system. | ||
| I mean, I have antidepressants and stuff like that, but meditation really helps. | ||
| And since I've been back, I've meditated pretty much every day since, which is really for like three months, which is really... | ||
| I've missed a few days, but it's definitely like an entrenched part of my life now that I miss if I don't do it. | ||
| Time for reflection is very important to avoid getting stuck with momentum, right? | ||
| When you have the momentum of your life and you just kind of let things keep playing out and just adjusting along the fly, that separation, to step back and look at it, it's so critical. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| It's so hard to do because I think once things start going in your life, whether it's obligations or financial responsibilities or whatever things that you're working on that are occupying all of your time, they become so much a part of your thought process. | ||
| And you consider them to be like of primary importance because this is like, I have to pay these bills. | ||
| Hey, this, I have to deal with this shit. | ||
| I have to, this is what's going on. | ||
| That they, they sort of overwhelm cognitive reasoning. | ||
| They overwhelm perspective where you don't have the opportunity to step back and go, Hey, you're not here for that long. | ||
| You have a limited amount of time here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it was like. | ||
| Oh, so I died. | ||
| Like, what was this like? | ||
| It was a bit like the Mark Twain thing, of seeing your own funeral, of like, oh wow, I was away for a week. | ||
| I had the automatic email thing, so people knew I wasn't around, but I only got like 50 emails. | ||
| It wasn't like... | ||
| An ungodly amount of emails. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I got maybe 10 texts, which is all manageable, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's not like, oh, I was so missed, the world needs me. | ||
| It's like, no, we can all duck out. | ||
| Obama can duck out. | ||
| Obama's in Martha's Vineyard right now. | ||
| He's reachable, but he's not, like, working, working. | ||
| When he does that, like, how much do you think he works while he's doing one of those trips like that? | ||
| I'm gonna bet three hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three hours. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet in the morning and then again in the afternoon. | ||
| Is that just a random guess? | ||
| That's completely uneducated. | ||
| It's based on fucking nothing. | ||
| I think people are gonna miss that guy so much. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| They're gonna miss that guy so much. | ||
| You can't even quantify how much they're gonna miss him. | ||
| He kept it together in the face of overwhelming criticism, which is really interesting, like the way he handled it without a hint of bitterness or anger. | ||
| He's a fascinating guy in that way. | ||
| He's a very, very measured guy. | ||
| Yeah, he's nothing if not measured. | ||
| He's half everything. | ||
| Yeah, and I think one of the good things about having a guy like that, one of the most important things, you can criticize him, you're with him, you're not with him, but having a guy like that sets the tone for the way we think about ourselves. | ||
| And he was a nice guy. | ||
| He's an articulate guy. | ||
| He was warm and friendly. | ||
| I believed him. | ||
| That's the tone. | ||
| Whether or not he was really like that 24-7, I don't fucking know, man. | ||
| It seems like he was. | ||
| But he's setting the tone with his behavior. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what what people are most terrified of by something like Trump becoming president. | ||
| They're worried that there's a lot of people that are like super aggressive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that like that having like an insulting president who... | ||
| Yeah, I'm thinking about whether I agree with you about whether Obama raised the discourse because it got coarser and he got yelled at and you lie and all that stuff. | ||
| He made people worse in some ways. | ||
| Toward him. | ||
| How much do you think he does? | ||
| And internet and talk radio got worse in the last eight years, which could just be natural. | ||
| It may have been worse without him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's not as simple, because it did get worse, but I think the thing that you said that's really worthwhile is the level-headedness of that dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a really measured, kind-hearted guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See, it's hard for me to discern how much of the hate he gets is from his policy, from where just the current state of the United States is in the eyes of ourselves, the world, financially, resources, jobs, all that stuff. | ||
| And then how much of that, how much of it is racism? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much of it is legitimate criticism that makes sense? | ||
| How much of it is, you know, this criticism that he's always had that by trying to be accommodating to everybody, he really gets nothing done? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| It's way too complicated for me to dive into. | ||
| The hatred thing that I point out always is I think it's probably half, 50% racism and 50% Republicans fucking hate Democrats. | ||
| They fucking hate them. | ||
| So that's two presidents in a row that they've said were not legitimate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so crazy. | |
| Because they did the same thing with Clinton, where they tried to indict him pretty much from day one and investigate the fuck out of him and his wife. | ||
| Well, do you remember that Donald Trump... | ||
| I should say Republican politicians, because I can't speak for all people. | ||
| Sorry, Donald Trump is a birther. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| He was the big proponent of it. | ||
| Yeah, he was saying he's from Kenya. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's only down by three. | ||
| I mean, he kept saying it, too. | ||
| He kept going all in. | ||
| Remember they released the birth certificate and everything? | ||
| Like, this is a forgery. | ||
| It's a goddamn forgery. | ||
| They had all these reasons to believe why it's a forgery. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has people in Hawaii investigating. | ||
| How hilarious is it, though, that people would be worried if he wasn't born in the right spot? | ||
| Well, that speaks to people's movie suspicion. | ||
| They want to believe that there's a Manchurian candidate and there's a pod and there's a cell here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He hates America, Neil Brannon. | |
| As Jesus is my witness, he hates America. | ||
| He wants the Second Amendment to be abolished. | ||
| Yes, and it feels good to play the victim. | ||
| That's the thing people also forget is like, No, it feels fucking really good to go like, he's out to get us and he doesn't believe what I believe. | ||
| It's like, no, he's a fucking boring ass. | ||
| I believe he may be an atheist, but I believe, but he's a, I think that's the worst thing you say about him religiously. | ||
| Otherwise, he's a, he's Christian. | ||
| At least. | ||
| So the idea that if he's a Muslim, he's an awful Muslim. | ||
| And he knows nothing about it. | ||
| Just gotta feed him bacon and see what happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's like, bring garlic to the vampire house. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I don't know man. | ||
| I just I don't think anybody's ever gonna be able to do that job. | ||
| I think that job is a ridiculous job and I think that at the very least he moves some social issues In a way, during his time, I feel like people were more tolerant in a lot of ways. | ||
| It opened up a lot of social issues that I don't think would have been addressed with a less measured, more easily accessible guy. | ||
| Well, he truly is progressive, where it's like, I'm a progressive politician, so I want things to evolve. | ||
| But then there's like the fucking Ed Snowden shit. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| He's super authoritarianism with drones, Ed Snowden, shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Leaks. | |
| They were worse about leaks than Bush was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But here's the thing about drones, right? | ||
| Was that happening anyway? | ||
| Was that just going to happen anyway? | ||
| And is it because he's in office? | ||
| I mean, how much of an effect does he have on what the heads of military decide to do and not do with things like drones? | ||
| How much of an effect do you think, like personally, he has on that? | ||
| I feel like a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think so? | |
| Did you watch the CIA thing on Showtime? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What thing was that? | |
| It was like the last seven heads of the CIA documentary about them. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's fucking good. | ||
| But it talks about, yeah, it's like seven or eight, Michael Hayden, a bunch of these guys. | ||
| And they talk about having, Leon Panetta, they talk about having a guy in sight on video live. | ||
| And having to decide whether it's go time. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| The Spymasters. | ||
| C.I.A. and Crosshairs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's good, huh? | ||
| Yeah, really good. | ||
| Crazy job, man. | ||
| It's super duper right-wingy. | ||
| It is very pro-death and pro-fire. | ||
| Fire all weapons, we got the weapons, let's use them type thing. | ||
| It's interesting that everybody, pretty much, that's involved at the highest level in military, there's a giant percentage of them that are probably conservative, right? | ||
| Am I right in guessing that? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I feel like it's 80%, even though I'm making that up. | ||
| Yeah, I would say I agree with your made-up quote. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's a good number. | ||
| I would agree with that. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Here's an interesting one. | ||
| What percentage of merchandise do women buy in America? | ||
| Percentage of all merchandise in America. | ||
| Forty percent? | ||
| Eighty percent. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Isn't that fucking insane? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| 80% of merchandise is purchased by women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Wow. | ||
| I don't even know what... | ||
| I've known that for months now, and I still don't know what to make of it. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just Googled it, it said 85%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, they're winning! | |
| Yeah, it can be as high as 85. They're winning! | ||
| Yeah, but I guess they market to men to get their women to say, hey, buy this for me. | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
| Because men wouldn't... | ||
| Wouldn't men buy video games, deodorant? | ||
| Yeah, shoes. | ||
| Yeah, shoes. | ||
| Jamie's really into shoes. | ||
| Wow, that's a big number, man. | ||
| That's a big fucking number. | ||
| That seems like almost... | ||
| It's trying to, in some way, replicate something that exists in the wild. | ||
| This is a great Joe Rogan tangent. | ||
| Go on. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| This is a classic Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go on. | |
| Why are the numbers so strongly in the camp of women buying shit? | ||
| Why? | ||
| It's gotta come from the gatherer thing. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta come from the gatherer thing. | ||
| They want to collect stuff. | ||
| It's like the same leftover echoing urge that made them pick wild apricots. | ||
| Yeah, and we want to go and hunt. | ||
| I bet percentage of men hunting is at least 80. Yeah, there's a lot of men. | ||
| I don't know what the number of women would be. | ||
| There's a bunch of women that do it, but a lot of women do it and they turn it into a career. | ||
| How come? | ||
| Because if you can be like a personality, a hunting personality, and you're a woman, that's like a legitimate career path. | ||
| If you're decent looking and you can shoot nice with a bow. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it also allows men and women to watch their hunting shows together. | ||
| I like when the girl wins. | ||
| She's always right. | ||
| Yeah, this says the same thing for motorsports. | ||
| It says that they agree that women racers bring fans out to the game. | ||
| 74% of males and 62% of females agree that. | ||
| Women racers bring fans out to the games. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Well, that's some underdog shit, I think. | ||
| It's the woman among the... | ||
| I mean, I think it's like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like the girls who race in NASCAR? What's her name? | ||
| Danica Patrick? | ||
| They go like, Danica Patrick is so hot, and you're like, ah, she's alright. | ||
| She's like a, you know, we'll give her a six and a half, seven out of ten. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, like I can't say that she is like a, you know, but it is definitely like more. | ||
| It's the thing that you notice. | ||
| Yeah, it's super odd, right? | ||
| It's super odd for a woman to want to do that. | ||
| But normal. | ||
| I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. | ||
| But for a woman to want to race like Formula One or something like that. | ||
| Oh, there's a, there's, ooh, she's great looking. | ||
| Mary Defoe. | ||
| I like how you say that the right way. | ||
| She's Miss Hawaiian Tropic. | ||
| Oh, see, these are all race car drivers? | ||
| These women? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's gangster. | ||
| Courtney Forrest, it's a good name. | ||
| That sounds so porn. | ||
| But you have to be like a wild person to be a race car driver. | ||
| Go on. | ||
| You think it's a characterological thing? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| It's so risky. | ||
| And it's so rewarding, I would guess, in a sense of like a sensory perception sense. | ||
| Like the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, yeah. | |
| You want to talk about upsetting your nervous system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| And the consequences are terrible if you fuck up. | ||
| Car accidents at 150 miles an hour are not cute. | ||
| Those are horrific, too. | ||
| When you see people get spun around, they get fucking crashed and fired. | ||
| Yeah, and it explodes like flex, and you're like, was that a foot I just saw? | ||
| But having said that, high rate of mortality. | ||
| I'm sorry, low rate of mortality. | ||
| They actually survive way more than you think. | ||
| Where you go, oh, that's another one of those. | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Dead. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Those people are dead, and they're fine. | ||
| Have you been seeing these people that put these balloons around their bodies and get hit by bulls? | ||
| I haven't. | ||
| We've got to show you this. | ||
| I'm looking forward to it very much. | ||
| This is a recurring theme on this show. | ||
| It's almost like one of those top 40 morning radio zoo shows where they have those weekly gags. | ||
| One of our weekly gags is, show one of the guests the people with the balloons on that get hit by the bulls. | ||
| And this is my take on it. | ||
| I don't think people realize how vulnerable they are. | ||
| Oh, this is a different one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, okay, cool. | ||
| This is a different one. | ||
| And look, they got a rodeo clown and everything. | ||
| They're trying to rope. | ||
| Oh, this guy, the bull, he's going after the guy. | ||
| Get out of there. | ||
| Who doesn't have a suit on. | ||
| Oh, he got flipped. | ||
| Oh, he got jacked, son. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| This is even more horrific. | ||
| So this was, this is obviously something went wrong. | ||
| Because the bulls are... | ||
| They still seem pretty happy to be in there. | ||
| They're not leaving. | ||
| I Oh my god. | ||
| The guys who are willing... | ||
| I like that it's an interesting metaphor about bowls and a temper tantrum. | ||
| They go after the guy, even though they're just mad that their balls are tied up. | ||
| But they're like, well, fuck it. | ||
| I'm in a bad mood anyway. | ||
| This is the better one. | ||
| This is the one that we were talking about. | ||
| This one looks like, first of all, definitely looks like it's taking place in Mexico, right? | ||
| Second of all, these cushions these guys have, they're just not big enough. | ||
| They only go from the waist up. | ||
| Yeah, you want to cover your dick, I think. | ||
| Fuck, yeah! | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna... | ||
| You're going to see some carnage. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Because the bull gets loose. | ||
| And when the bull gets loose, these fuckers in this thing, I think they just have this stupid plan that they're going to be fine. | ||
| You've got to back it up a little. | ||
| Because the guy already got jacked. | ||
| Yeah, but he got jacked before that. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| So they let the bull out. | ||
| The bull sees these assholes walking around with these... | ||
| Giant jellyfish balloons. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I mean, he goes flying. | ||
| He gets gored on the ground. | ||
| He gets run over. | ||
| I mean, this guy gets fucking jacked. | ||
| They never really fuck with the horses, though, huh? | ||
| No, they don't fuck with horses. | ||
| Even the bulls know, like, nah, I don't want to fuck with that. | ||
| Well, I think they don't seem to think that the horses do anything. | ||
| What are the people doing? | ||
| Oh, they just don't like people, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think cows... | ||
| Because of the ball stuff? | ||
| Come on, cow. | ||
| I think cows have always realized that people want to eat them. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Boom! | ||
| I mean, if a cow sees a person, what are the odds that that's gonna be a bad thing? | ||
| The odds are pretty goddamn strong. | ||
| Yeah, nothing good's gonna happen. | ||
| Like, oh good! | ||
| They might squeeze your tits for a couple years and then shoot you in the head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, at best. | |
| But for sure, one day they're gonna shoot you in the head. | ||
| Do you think it's naturally ingrained though? | ||
| I don't think cows see us as like an enemy. | ||
| And you can't pass that on genetically, I don't think. | ||
| Do you know what a scrub bull is? | ||
| No, tell me. | ||
| A scrub bull are animals that, until the last X amount of years, used to be domestic cattle, but then they get loose and they live in the countryside. | ||
| And this is something that happens often in Australia. | ||
| Where they're not necessarily the same strain anymore as a strain of cattle that you would use for beef or that you would bring to market. | ||
| They have different genetics now because they've been wild for so long and they're not like an Angus cow. | ||
| So if you have Angus cows and this thing shows up and starts fucking your Your your cattle you got a problem you get some weird cross Breed of a cow that might not be like the best for eating right, but these things they live wild in the bush in Australia and in Australia There's no predators. | ||
| They have like, you know small things like dingoes and stuff like that They're never taking out a bull. | ||
| You would need a lion or something like that to kill one of these things. | ||
| And they get cool looking. | ||
| They look different. | ||
| They don't look like a cow anymore. | ||
| They start looking more and more primitive in some weird way. | ||
| They start looking more like an animal that you would see in Africa or something. | ||
| It's really fascinating, man. | ||
| Like, here's some of the photos. | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
| That's a Tibetan yak. | ||
| It looks like Africa a long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, that was a different animal. | ||
| But if you just Google scrub bull, is that what it is? | ||
| Okay, like that one in the upper left-hand corner is a perfect example. | ||
| Like, that is not really... | ||
| Obviously, that's a cow, right? | ||
| That's a bull. | ||
| But that looks way different than the average bull that you see either at the rodeo or... | ||
| I'm looking at his balls back there, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huge balls, son. | |
| Is that what I'm looking at, Joe? | ||
| That's a package, son. | ||
| Yeah, huge balls, giant antlers, or horns rather, and his face and just the way his body's built, it's different. | ||
| He's a wild animal, and he's living the way they're supposed to be, and that's why he looks like a wild animal. | ||
| And you know what else? | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| He's doing great. | ||
| They're super aggressive, though. | ||
| They're some of the most dangerous things to run across if you're out in the bush, as it were. | ||
| Huh, I don't see what you mean. | ||
| That's another one of the most dangerous things. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a buffalo. | ||
| Will they ram cars? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Hey, has there been a lot of animal chasing? | ||
| You saw the tiger eating the lady last week. | ||
| In Beijing. | ||
| That was pretty wild. | ||
| But a lot of giraffes chasing cars and shit? | ||
| Have you seen some of these videos? | ||
| No. | ||
| Look up giraffe chases cars. | ||
| Listen, it only makes sense. | ||
| Hauling ass, by the way. | ||
| It only makes sense. | ||
| They're tired of our shit. | ||
| Here you go. | ||
| Oh, I've seen this, yeah. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Look at the strides on this motherfucker. | ||
| I know, they're shitting their pants. | ||
| Look at it running behind them. | ||
| You know, they would hit you with their head, dude. | ||
| Oh my god, look, it's right behind you. | ||
| It's like you were saying about the neck whip thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, this is terrifying. | |
| Ha ha ha. | ||
| I think he comes around a corner. | ||
| Again? | ||
| I think he does. | ||
| I don't know if this is the right one. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What do you think it would do to those people? | ||
| Just start smacking him with his head? | ||
| Yeah, whip his neck. | ||
| Whip his neck at them. | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| Like, you gotta think of how big his head is, man. | ||
| Have you ever seen them fight? | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| Yeah, they beat the shit out of each other. | ||
| It's really painful. | ||
| In terms of animal shit, that's one of those things where you're like, I don't know, guys. | ||
| It is one of the weirdest. | ||
| I don't mind biting, but that's really fucking odd. | ||
| It's one of the weirdest. | ||
| It's one of the weirdest things. | ||
| And you want to talk about a concussion. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, they must just be evolved or have really small brains or very tightly packed brains. | ||
| You know, sheep can slam into each other, like, super hard. | ||
| But their brains are literally connected to their head different than ours are. | ||
| They're like, they've evolved to absorbed impact. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would assume rams are too. | ||
| Yeah, that's insane. | ||
| Those wild desert bighorn sheep. | ||
| Look at these things. | ||
| Oh my god, this is crazy. | ||
| What a strange trait to develop to have neck fighting. | ||
| They're fighting like two snakes. | ||
| Oh my god, they beat the fuck out of each other too. | ||
| See if you can find a good video of bighorn sheep headbutting each other. | ||
| Because these fucking things, they have these giant battering rams that grow out of their heads and they raise up and crash into each other. | ||
| And the sound sounds like a rifle going off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they do it in the mountains. | ||
| Oh, these things. | ||
| These fucking things. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Antlers on that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Boom! | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| Boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god! | |
| Oh my god! | ||
| Yeah, we don't have to listen to what that guy's saying. | ||
| He's just talking about snow on the ground, and the sheep are going after it. | ||
| It's crazy how hard they headbutt each other. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Is that what the audio was from, or was it from something else? | ||
| No, it was from that. | ||
| It's weird audio. | ||
| But they evolved to do this. | ||
| It's just such a strange trait. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Play that back! | ||
| That's a rifle! | ||
| Oh, they're getting rid of the fuck, I think. | ||
| Boy, they're so weird. | ||
| These things are straight out of Star Wars. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, look at this fucking animal. | ||
| Any kind of natural defense is always interesting. | ||
| A shell or a horn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, these things are dope as fuck, man. | ||
| They have brought them back to a lot of environments now. | ||
| They've transplanted them all throughout the West. | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| They brought them to a bunch of different states. | ||
| They took viable males and females and they installed them in these areas and monitored their growth. | ||
| Are they indigenous to the states? | ||
| They used to be? | ||
| Yes, they are. | ||
| But they used to be in more areas. | ||
| They used to have a wider territory. | ||
| What happened was, I guess, after Civil War, there were a bunch of people that were market hunters. | ||
| And the same type of people that shot all the buffalo for the hides and all that jazz. | ||
| They did that with a lot of animals all throughout the entire West. | ||
| And they potentially wiped out or got close to having them wiped out. | ||
| A bunch of different big game species like elk and deer and it took a while to bring all those things back. | ||
| So what a lot of these conservation organizations are doing is like taking these things and dropping them off into the mountains some places and then monitoring them and making sure their populations survive. | ||
| But it's a fucking way too cool of an animal to not figure out how to bring back. | ||
| You gotta bring it back. | ||
| Dude, I've seen them in the wild. | ||
| They are fucking cool. | ||
| They're cool looking. | ||
| And they seem like their nature is okay, despite the headbutting. | ||
| Oh no, they're just chilling. | ||
| They just don't want that dude to fuck their girls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's standard. | ||
| Yeah, we understand it. | ||
| Yeah, as far as violence goes, it's probably the nicest violence. | ||
| To us, it would suck if they headbutted us, but it doesn't seem to bother them. | ||
| But I also would promise you that NFL players watch that and are like, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me get after that. | |
| Yeah, like before games and shit. | ||
| Maybe NFL players have to evolve to develop a connection to their brain like a Rams. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's going to be a while. | ||
| It's going to take a few decades. | ||
| You hearing that helicopter, by the way? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Still going on. | ||
| There was some sort of a gas leak a few miles away. | ||
| Some shit went down. | ||
| Still going down. | ||
| Still going down. | ||
| Yeah, watching those things headbutt each other just makes you weirded out as to how the different ways that things evolve, but they're all a kind of life. | ||
| Like how strong the difference is between an octopus that can get out of the hole the size of a quarter and squeeze its whole body through and that thing that slams its head into one of the other competing males raises up on its back legs and comes crashing forward. | ||
| And they don't even budge, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They collide with each other. | ||
| It sounds like a gun went off and they just stare at each other. | ||
| They're like, okay. | ||
| Such a cool animal. | ||
| They have giant nuts. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| This is based on first-hand observation? | ||
| Yeah, it was pointed out to me by this guy Steve Rinella. | ||
| It's amazing, you know when you think, I don't see a lot of dicks day to day? | ||
| You see so many dicks, like on animals and dogs, it's crazy. | ||
| And we just are fine with animal dicks. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| But human dicks we have laws about. | ||
| But we are living in a playground of fucking animal cock. | ||
| Well, you know what I think? | ||
| I think people are supposed to live I think naturally, we're inclined to live in a place where you don't need to do anything as far as clothing. | ||
| If you go back to the indigenous people in the Amazon that are chilling and drinking ayahuasca and going fishing and growing their own vegetables, they're basically naked. | ||
| They've probably been like that forever. | ||
| They're walking around barefoot. | ||
| I think as soon as you put on clothes, As soon as you can manipulate your environment and live in a spot where you normally wouldn't be able to live, but you figured out fire... | ||
| Like, say, Phoenix? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| My friend Mike Goldberg lives out there, and he likes it. | ||
| He just goes from one air-conditioned room to another air-conditioned room... | ||
| Work out in an air-conditioned gym. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go home to an air-conditioned house. | ||
| Most cities in America are either way too, like, how do you put up with this cold or how do you put up with this heat? | ||
| I wonder if that could, like, adversely affect your health if you're only breathing, like, air-conditioned air all the time. | ||
| Oh, yeah, like mortality rates. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder. | ||
| Probably not, though, because old people go to Florida. | ||
| And they go to it. | ||
| Yeah, they thrive. | ||
| It seems to put a couple of years on them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think struggling with your environment, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, people are less likely to dive. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I can fuck with heat. | ||
| I could take Phoenix way over, like, Minnesota in it. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people feel that way. | ||
| The negative aspects of heat is you just have to turn on the air conditioning. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The negative aspects of that cold is like nothing's happening. | ||
| You might get shut down. | ||
| The fucking power might go out. | ||
| You might have to light your couch on fire to stay alive. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Whereas I feel like I could withstand 100... | ||
| 30 degrees if I had water, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, here's all that you would have to have. | ||
| You'd have to have two things happen at the same time. | ||
| A pandemic epidemic, as far as like a disease, and power going out. | ||
| You'd have to have those two things happen in the winter. | ||
| And the people that are supposed to turn the power back on, they're not going to go to work. | ||
| There's some kind of an evil flu. | ||
| If you get near people and they sneeze on you, you're going to be dead within 24 hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| That's all possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That can happen. | ||
| And if that does happen, and the power grid stays down during the winter in some place, and they can't figure out how to get people to go out there and fix it, and... | ||
| Yeah, whereas, what's the stats on heat? | ||
| Can you look up the stats on heat? | ||
| It's so hot when the air conditioning doesn't work, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| After it's five hours. | ||
| It's fine, man. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Oh, no, you're 100% right. | ||
| So hot. | ||
| But... | ||
| Take your shirt off. | ||
| You can sit in the shade. | ||
| You can lay in the pool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hot in here if it's 80. You can sweat. | |
| It's a natural thing. | ||
| You have no natural defenses against cold. | ||
| You sound like a pussy, Jamie. | ||
| You know what you sound like, Jamie? | ||
| You sound like a no-good pussy. | ||
| I went through a week with no power in the middle of an ice storm. | ||
| We survived it. | ||
| You can put on layers and get warm. | ||
| You can start a fire. | ||
| If you want to get cold, you can't get cold once it's 100 degrees. | ||
| I've seen that argument. | ||
| My buddy has that argument. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| But I don't mind super-duper hotness, though. | ||
| I just don't mind it. | ||
| My body likes it better. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think everybody's body is certainly different. | ||
| I mean, you'd have to wonder, you know, if they believe that there's certain people that have diets that... | ||
| Would better suit them because their ancestors came from a certain part of the world. | ||
| Like, that's a theory. | ||
| I think that kind of makes sense, that people would have different temperature requirements as well, you know, what makes them feel like it works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it stands to reason. | ||
| It's like, I don't have good circulation. | ||
| I just think that people, in being able to manipulate the environment the way we can... | ||
| There's too many of us. | ||
| We couldn't stay in all the good spots. | ||
| We can't all just live in Costa Rica. | ||
| We can't all live in San Diego. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| In fact, people don't even really want to live in San Diego and it's there now. | ||
| San Diego is here. | ||
| Yeah, but San Diego is amazing. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| But they still are like, it's perfect climate. | ||
| And people are like, no. | ||
| I would even say San Diego is not warm enough for me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I like LA heat. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| There's a lot of cool people in San Diego. | ||
| I've always enjoyed hanging out with people in San Diego. | ||
| I think it's an interesting combination between military and surfers. | ||
| Yeah, they're not a very stressed out group. | ||
| No. | ||
| The San Diego people. | ||
| I think it's a really good city, man. | ||
| I think it's a really good city. | ||
| I think San Diego's like probably one of my favorite, definitely one of my favorite cities in California. | ||
| And La Jolla has the most ticklish audiences. | ||
| Ticklish? | ||
| That's what I say when a crowd's like so good, you're like, oh, you guys are just ticklish. | ||
| That club is awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The La Jolla store. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I want to do that the next time I go back there. | ||
| You should, what do you do, theaters there? | ||
| Yeah, I've been doing theaters there, but, uh... | ||
| I did Laughing Skull in Atlanta last weekend. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's really good, huh? | ||
| Dude, it was so fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it made me think, like, I gotta do more little places as well. | ||
| How'd you end up doing Laughing Skull? | ||
| Because I wanted to do a small spot. | ||
| Because I did the Tabernacle there last time I was there. | ||
| And I want to fuck around and come up with some new stuff. | ||
| And I've got some stuff I'm working on. | ||
| And I just knew it would be real intimate. | ||
| Real tight little crowd. | ||
| It's only like 80 people. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| What'd you charge? | ||
| 20 bucks or something? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Nothing crazy. | ||
| But it wasn't like a $100 ticket gold circle. | ||
| You know, it's comedy club prices. | ||
| It's a comedy club. | ||
| Comedy clubs are so important, and a lot of people that get to theaters, and they get to that theater stage, they never want to give back to the comedy clubs. | ||
| They always have this weird adversarial relationship with club owners. | ||
| But I'm always like, look, nobody's perfect here, but if it wasn't for these people that are willing to open a comedy club... | ||
| Crazy assholes like you and me wouldn't have any place to work. | ||
| We're not going to make our own club, right? | ||
| Gods that are awesome like Bob Fisher owns the Ice House. | ||
| He's such a sweetheart of a guy that it doesn't just benefit you to do it because it's a good thing financially to help him and help that club, but you need people like that. | ||
| That's the only way we ever get to work. | ||
| Same with, like, Comedy Magic Club. | ||
| Oh, Mike Lacey. | ||
| He's the salt of the earth. | ||
| He's the sweetest guy. | ||
| He's one of the nicest people that's ever walked the face of this planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Agreed. | ||
| Yeah, man, look, in all this shit, Jamie Masada takes a lot of heat, but think about all the charitable stuff that Jamie Masada's done. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Jamie Masada's done a lot of great stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He really has. | ||
| And he continues to work with a lot of underprivileged children, and he does... | ||
| I get to do comedy camp on Saturday. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Jamie's a good dude. | ||
| And we need all these folks. | ||
| We need all these folks. | ||
| And they need us. | ||
| But there's something that happens when people... | ||
| I think it definitely happens when you don't get the respect you think that you deserve early on. | ||
| As comics? | ||
| Yeah, but those offers are pretty... | ||
| Yeah, 1500? | ||
| Like, they're really shitty. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| And then they go like, well, you haven't done anything. | ||
| It's like the negotiation thing. | ||
| It's hard to forget that shit. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And it does become this thing of like, it forces you as a comic to go like, well, when I get the chance to fuck you, you're gonna get fucked. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The same way you're fucking me now. | ||
| And they do it to, and they fucked pretty much everyone. | ||
| And they developed this connection in their head, the club owners, that all the club owners are adversarial. | ||
| With each other? | ||
| No, with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, they're all your adversary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're the comic, those are the club owners, they're trying to fuck you, they're all pieces of shit, they should give you your fucking money, they should be happy you're there. | ||
| Yeah, opposite sides of the aisle. | ||
| Yep, absolutely. | ||
| It's like the weirdest relationship. | ||
| But if there was no comedy clubs, dude, we would be fucked. | ||
| We're so lucky that those goddamn things exploded in the 80s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about the Lenny Bruce days. | ||
| When he first started out, he used to have to MC. Yeah, there were like five clubs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He used to have to go on, you do your stand-up in between. | ||
| Yeah, strippers or fucking. | ||
| Yeah, or something along those lines. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was no comedy clubs. | ||
| That's a really recent thing in terms of the last hundred years. | ||
| Well, I was explaining to a buddy of mine about how comedy has become so necessary, and I think it's partially because of the news, in that When the news started, every news division lost money. | ||
| But in order to get a license, you had to have a good news division. | ||
| And then in the 80s, they deregulated it. | ||
| And then news became a profit center for networks. | ||
| And good journalism basically went out the window. | ||
| So guys like Jon Stewart and guys like Michael Moore and guys like Chris Rock and guys that were like political and had TV shows became almost like the function of news programs before this. | ||
| And I was explaining to him, and he was like, oh, okay, because I was explaining to someone how John came, how his rise to power, and Colbert, and all these people, because there's no alternative. | ||
| And now the internet, you can get at least Reddit, or there's a lot of shitty websites with quote-unquote news on them. | ||
| But for a long time you couldn't get, it was just, there was a vacuum of like, there's no big objective opinion. | ||
| Or John Oliver on HBO where he'll do these deep dives into because no one else is going to do them. | ||
| Because there's no money in them, allegedly. | ||
| They'd rather do something sensational. | ||
| Like the dumbest thing, or the most recent dumb thing Trump said. | ||
| And there's no, like, there's a premium on objective truth. | ||
| Or at least funnily subjective truth. | ||
| Joe Rogan, your thoughts? | ||
| This is a weird time. | ||
| It's a weird time when it comes to trying to... | ||
| Disassemble the way we've got this bizarre system set up, the way we've got it structured. | ||
| Like, we're getting older, you know? | ||
| And as we get older, we realize, well, we're just going to pass on this stupid system to the people that are coming next. | ||
| We haven't fixed anything. | ||
| Well, the thing is, I almost don't even know how to fix the shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look, it's a real good question. | ||
| But there's an entanglement problem. | ||
| It's like we were talking about earlier when we were talking about different ways that people are making money. | ||
| Like, there's so much money to be made. | ||
| We were talking about it in divorce courts. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But think about how much money there is to be made in keeping this system of government exactly the same way it is right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many jobs that are dependent upon it. | ||
| Like, even if we think that it's a ridiculous idea, we need to abolish the whole thing and start from scratch. | ||
| What do we do with all those people that are working for it? | ||
| Well, the other thing I was thinking is people... | ||
| Like, the thing that I do like about the Trump movement is people just going like, no, the system's broken. | ||
| And it doesn't work for, it doesn't work for people anymore because everybody's bought and paid for. | ||
| Everybody in Congress lobbying is, pays, literally lobbyists write laws. | ||
| So people, and people don't like it and they don't know how to stop it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you've got people, I've got a system, people go, well, do you know anyone that you think would run for office? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| And as much as it's like, because it's a weird job, I don't know anyone who's just like that ideologically driven and could navigate the way it is now. | ||
| So as much as I'm like, well, we're going to shake the system up. | ||
| To what? | ||
| But it's not just that. | ||
| Stop and think about what it is. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| To elect a leader, for someone to campaign and tell you that they would make the best leader. | ||
| Like, all throughout history, the people that are proclaiming themselves to be the ones that you should follow are almost always the ones you should never follow. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
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Right? | |
| So when someone is proclaiming themselves to be capable of leading this land, and I am going to be your king, and I will take you to the highest heights! | ||
| Right, but I don't even think kings needed to do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I don't think they got a chance to do that. | ||
| You'd have to kill a king. | ||
| You'd have to be an usurper. | ||
| But this is essentially the same model, right, that they're doing when they're running for president, even though we know that that's not the kind of personality trait that you would want from a leader. | ||
| You would want someone who's... | ||
| Who's not in any way promoting of themselves. | ||
| Yeah, you want a selfless person who does this thing that's incredibly self-interested. | ||
| And they would have to figure out how to fairly monitor the society that we live in. | ||
| How to fairly... | ||
| When do you decide when you put people in jail? | ||
| Do we throw all the old rules out and completely look at them all with new facts and new ideas? | ||
| There's a lot of weird drug arguments where there's certain drugs that are illegal that are way more dangerous than certain drugs that are illegal. | ||
| And then you look at this money trail behind all that, and you're like, okay, how can you How can you guys still do this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, how can you still do this? | ||
| Like, we should make things legal that the scientists agree should be legal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then everything else is dangerous. | ||
| We should figure out how to regulate it. | ||
| But you can't decide. | ||
| Like, why is everybody deciding based on, like, ancient information? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's a democratically elected government. | ||
| But, again, it attracts the wrong kinds of people. | ||
| It's, you know, like Churchill or somebody said, it's the... | ||
| It's the best of all the bad systems. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Obama released or exonerated a bunch of drug war victims today, which I thought was really fascinating. | ||
|
unidentified
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How many was it? | |
| I think it's a few hundred. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's like 300, something like that? | ||
| Yeah, which is impressive. | ||
| Yeah, and you know what I hope he said to him? | ||
| Like, if you fuck up, you're fucking me, basically. | ||
| Well, it's... | ||
| Who knows what kind of damage is done when someone's in jail for long periods of time. | ||
| Oh yeah, the idea that this guy can't vote, can't get most jobs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a very, very fucked up system. | ||
| Now, how does that work? | ||
| Are you an ex-felon? | ||
| If the president writes you clean, he lets you out? | ||
| Oh yeah, I don't know. | ||
| If you're exonerated, I don't know. | ||
| Does that make you pardoned? | ||
| He's been touched by magic. | ||
| You've been touched by magic. | ||
| The president has magic. | ||
| He can tell the court that they have to let people out of jail. | ||
| How old is that wacky idea? | ||
| That might be the wackiest of all the wacky old shit. | ||
| You can decide that the guy who killed people should get free. | ||
| Because you're the king. | ||
| Hankley went free the other day. | ||
| See that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He's out on the streets, man. | ||
| He might be listening to us for As We Speak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| John Hinckley. | ||
| The one who shot Reagan? | ||
| Shot Reagan, yeah. | ||
| Holy shit, they let him free? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're trying to get Obama killed. | ||
| After 35 years. | ||
| Who was he trying to show? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He was trying to impress Jodie Foster. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It turns out you were barking up the wrong tree, friend. | ||
| She don't like dudes. | ||
| Hey, bro. | ||
| You don't know about that. | ||
| Actually, she's out. | ||
| The right guy with the right dick. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| The right lunatic with the right dick. | ||
| Brought it back. | ||
| Brought it back to the land of the heteros. | ||
| I gotta get out of here, JoJo. | ||
| Let's get the fuck out of here, dude. | ||
| But I did want to tell the people that I will be in Chicago and Madison, Wisconsin, the 18th and 19th. | ||
| Go to 3mics.com. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| What are you doing in Chicago? | ||
| I'm doing 3mics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the Thalia Theater? | |
| Thalia Theater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Chicago's got a lot of cool old theaters. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool. | ||
| And the Madison, I'm doing the Majestic. | ||
| And then I'm shooting three mics in Los Angeles, September 9th. | ||
| Don't have a venue yet. | ||
| Majestic Theater in Madison, Wisconsin? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a dope spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you don't change shirts or anything, do you? | ||
| No, same shirt. | ||
| Imagine if you had wardrobe changes. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be pretty great. | ||
| Put a costume on. | ||
| So yeah, so 3Mikes, September 9th in LA. Go to 3Mikes.com or follow me on Twitter. | ||
| I'll update it on 18th in Madison of August and 19th of August in Chicago. | ||
| I hope we delved enough into that magnetic treatment for depression. | ||
| Yeah, look it up if you're interested. | ||
| Nothing has been more helpful to me in my entire career of depression. | ||
| Is it available to everybody? | ||
| Is it on a test thing? | ||
| Yeah, you can look it up. | ||
| Like I said, it's covered by Blue Cross. | ||
| That's pretty impressive. | ||
| Yeah, it's hugely helpful. | ||
| And the numbers are really good. | ||
| There's a new one also called... | ||
| I want to call it like... | ||
| Theta burst or alpha burst CMT. But they're using the CMT shit for tons of... | ||
| Like you were saying about that Radiolab. | ||
| They're using it for tons of different brain areas. | ||
| And it's really effective. | ||
| And I say that having experienced it firsthand. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| We're juicing our brains up with electricity and... | ||
| Firing them up. | ||
| Who gets hurt? | ||
| Yeah, good. | ||
| We're gonna have magneto helmets one day for sure, right? | ||
| Like the X-Men dude, they put that helmet on and all the magnets and he would float through the air. | ||
| Yeah, hopefully. | ||
| We're gonna have those fucking things. | ||
| We just gotta make it to the... | ||
| We gotta make it past our failing bodies, but once we get there... | ||
| I think one of these cranial helmets, if they had a cranial helmet that came up with, that had all these electrodes just constantly zapping your brain while you're walking around with it on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See your life clear. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're a good boy, Joe. | ||
| Everybody knows it. | ||
| You're a good man as well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like you. | ||
| Good to see you, buddy. | ||
| Nice talk. | ||
| I always enjoy our conversations. | ||
| Yeah, I do too. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Neil Brennan, ladies and gentlemen. |
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