July 7, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:00:26
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| *music* I get so pumped up for these. | ||
| Fight Companion. | ||
| If you've never heard one of these before, ladies and gentlemen, I'll probably explain this in the introduction for the people that have to listen to the audio version of it only. | ||
| We just watch fights and we talk shit. | ||
| We may or may not discuss the actual fight itself. | ||
| Most of the time, we don't. | ||
| But today, it's with... | ||
| The great Joey motherfucking Diaz. | ||
| Thank you for having me. | ||
| Thanks for being here, brother. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| I'm excited about our show at the Ka Theater tomorrow night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Out of all the fights on the card, Dos Anos Alvarez was the fight. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That was my fight. | ||
| For the whole weekend? | ||
| The whole weekend. | ||
| I didn't know when it was. | ||
| I thought it was on the undercard. | ||
| I didn't know when it was. | ||
| This is the fight I've been waiting for. | ||
| This to me is a fucking barn burner. | ||
| I'm looking forward to it for sure because Alvarez is very tough and he makes every fight tough. | ||
| He's a tough dude and I think he's going to have a real good game plan coming in. | ||
| I think he's going to be as prepared as you're ever going to see him because you've seen him off some hard fights in the UFC. He had that war with Cowboy Cerrone, got lit up, especially his leg. | ||
| He just got introduced to the next level. | ||
| Of MMA, but coming off of a victory like that over Pettis and he beat Gilbert too and He had a fight through adversity in the Gilbert Melendez fight. | ||
| He had a seriously fucked up eye. | ||
| Remember his eye squashed? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes, that's right. | ||
| He's a tough He's a tough dude. | ||
| You gotta, you know, you gotta put him away man, and that's tough to fucking do He's as game as they get, but this dude is special. | ||
| This Dos Anjos is special He's um, he's hit a very high level over the last couple years and he's his skill level is Is higher than it's ever been. | ||
| It's like a bunch of different things coming together. | ||
| One, it's Rafael Cordero. | ||
| Rafael Cordero is such a good coach. | ||
| The coach of King's MMA, the original guys from Shoot the Box in Curitiba, Brazil. | ||
| Those guys were so badass. | ||
| I mean, he's from such a badass lineage. | ||
| He's from the early days of Ninja and Anderson Silva. | ||
| And he's the guy who took Fabricio Verdum... | ||
| From a guy who really wasn't a striker at all. | ||
| Just a jujitsu artist. | ||
| And he brought him to the heavyweight title. | ||
| And now you look at Fabricio striking. | ||
| He made a big mistake, obviously, in the Stipe Miocic fight. | ||
| But I think Stipe Miocic's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| If he catches you, he catches you. | ||
| You know, he tried to go to war with Stipe, and Stipe just was better at moving away and countering him. | ||
| And he got careless and left some openings. | ||
| And it could have been because he was in Brazil. | ||
| He was ill. | ||
| He was real emotional. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| And Stipe's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| So those two are a bad combination together. | ||
| But that said, you look at Verdum striking against Travis Brown. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| His striking against Cain Velasquez. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| Long. | ||
| Snaps that jab out. | ||
| Keeps you to distance. | ||
| Throws hard kicks. | ||
| Because he wants you to take him down. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| He wants you. | ||
| Put him on his back. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| Good luck with the nastiest guard the heavyweight division has ever seen, arguably. | ||
| He's a mother... | ||
| I mean, Frank Mir snapped arms. | ||
| I mean, you gotta go with... | ||
| Like, if you want to look at, like, effective submissions in the heavyweight division in MMA, it's tough to not give the nod to Frank Mir. | ||
| Tapped Lesnar with a knee bar, snapped Minotaro's arm, snapped Tim Sylvia's arm. | ||
| Just... | ||
| Maybe not for his overall career, because he's definitely had ups and downs, but been in some amazing fights. | ||
| But his submission victories are fucking horrendous. | ||
| He breaks bones, man. | ||
| Who the fuck else breaks bones? | ||
| Frank Mayer's breaking bones with arm bars. | ||
| Breaking bones with Kimura. | ||
| He broke fucking Minotauro's arm. | ||
| Snapped it in half where he was looking over at it like, holy shit. | ||
| So it's hard not to give the nod to Frank Mir when it comes to overall MMA guard skill. | ||
| But that said, man, the technical ability that Verdum has is off the charts. | ||
| The way he wraps you up is so neat. | ||
| He just tucks everything tight. | ||
| Like that Fedor armbar, oh my god. | ||
| I mean, he just slapped that on him. | ||
| Where Fedor was stuck in that guard and you could see in his eyes, he was like, oh shit. | ||
| This is like, the water's heavier. | ||
| I can't drink it. | ||
| I can't get up to get where the air is. | ||
| Holy shit, just get crushed into those legs. | ||
| He's fucking huge, too. | ||
| He's a giant guy. | ||
| I mean, I got legit 240. Doesn't really have to lift much to be like 240. He's a huge guy. | ||
| For Doom's, no joke, man. | ||
| So for Stipe Miocic to take him out like that, fuck, that was a victory. | ||
| And to do it in Brazil? | ||
| That must have been nuts, man. | ||
| That was like 40,000 people or something crazy, right? | ||
| It was a soccer stadium. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| He didn't give a fuck. | ||
| There was zero fucks given in Mayo Chase's world. | ||
| In Mayo Chase's world, there was zero fucks. | ||
| He had no idea he was in Brazil. | ||
| Well, that dude is as legit as they get. | ||
| His mindset is so strong. | ||
| He's so calm. | ||
| He's so calm right before he throws down, man. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| More now than ever, because he's been there and done that, that war that he had with Junior Dos Santos, I mean, that was a fucking war. | ||
| Experience is a motherfucker in this UFC and MMA. Experience is it, man. | ||
| Yeah, it is it, but he's also got a lot of skill, and he's getting better. | ||
| That's the other thing about Stipe. | ||
| Stipe's getting better. | ||
| I mean, he's always been a motherfucker, but he's better now than he's ever been. | ||
| Better mentally, stronger, more steady. | ||
| Like, everything about him is better. | ||
| Now he has, what's his name in Cleveland? | ||
| When? | ||
| Alistair Overeem in October. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| September? | ||
| September. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| September, I think. | ||
| September in Cleveland. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh! | |
| You wanna go? | ||
| That's a barn burner right there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wanna come? | |
| I don't know what the date is. | ||
| Let's do a show on Friday night. | ||
| My October's jacked. | ||
| September's a jack. | ||
| You're too goddamn popular. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I do the every other week thing. | ||
| But the nose, the special, everything is just falling into, you know, it's just October 15th I shoot, so everything is wrapped around that pretty much. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| But Cleveland's, that's going to be fun. | ||
| And the people that are going to be there to support Stipe, because right now, I mean, they've got basketball, and now they've got the UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| Doug, put the show together. | ||
| I'm open. | ||
| You're open? | ||
| I think I'm open. | ||
| I think I'm open there. | ||
| Saturday, September 10th? | ||
| I think I'm open. | ||
| So the Friday the 9th would be where we do the show. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I think I'm open there. | ||
| That's a crazy fight, too. | ||
| That's an interesting fight. | ||
| Because Alistair has been fighting very smart lately. | ||
| Man, he's just put it together really nicely in his last few fights. | ||
| Is he still at Jackson's? | ||
| Yes, he's still at Jackson's? | ||
| I think. | ||
| Part-time? | ||
| Pretty sure. | ||
| I'm pretty sure he's still at Jackson's. | ||
| The thing about him, again, he was, you know, in pride and all that stuff. | ||
| He was the heavyweight champion in kickboxing. | ||
| You know, there comes a time in your life when you put the pieces together. | ||
| We're starting to see it now. | ||
| From Alistair to Nate Diaz to all these fighters that years ago, ah, they lost one. | ||
| You know, who did he lose to? | ||
| He lost to Clay Guida. | ||
| Rafael Dos Santos. | ||
| Broken jaw. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and look what he's gone on to do. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So they put it all together. | ||
| It's like when a comedian gets a show. | ||
| You know how hard it is for a comedian to get a show? | ||
| All the stars have to be aligned. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, everything has to be in order. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Just to get it on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everybody gets pilots every year. | ||
| But just to really get to that high level that you're talking about. | ||
| It takes years. | ||
| You know, maybe Cordero, when he went to Cordero's, Cordero put it all together. | ||
| The jiu-jitsu and the boxing, or the kickboxing, put it all together. | ||
| It definitely is a big part of it. | ||
| It's a big part of it. | ||
| You know what else is a big part of it? | ||
| His strength and conditioning program. | ||
| He's one of those guys who trains under Nick Kurson. | ||
| Do you know Nick Kurson? | ||
| No, sir. | ||
| Nick Kurson, he's one of the students of Marv Marinovich. | ||
| You know the Marv Marinovich and Todd Marinovich story? | ||
| Yes, the quarterback, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and Marv Marinovich was a world-famous strength and conditioning coach with some seriously unconventional, wild ideas that were very, very effective. | ||
| And he trained BJ Penn for a couple camps. | ||
| And Nick Kurson is one of his disciples. | ||
| And Nick Kurson handles Dos Anjos and quite a few other guys. | ||
| Ruslan Provodnikov. | ||
| How do you say his name? | ||
| Ruslan Provodnikov. | ||
| Provodnikov, right? | ||
| I'm so high. | ||
| Definitely shouldn't be doing this podcast right now. | ||
| Provodnikov. | ||
| The Siberian Rocky, you know the guy I'm talking about. | ||
| He trains that guy too. | ||
| And Joe Schilling, he's done some work with Joe. | ||
| He's a really good strength and conditioning guy. | ||
| And Cardero and the combination of high-level MMA, high-level jiu-jitsu, and this radical strength and conditioning program these guys do. | ||
| All these plyometrics. | ||
| It's all these box jumps. | ||
| Everything's exploding and resting. | ||
| Everything's very carefully monitored. | ||
| It's really interesting stuff, man. | ||
| Do a lot of stuff with your feet. | ||
| That's one thing that he said that kind of blew my mind. | ||
| I was like, yeah, I didn't even think of that. | ||
| He goes, I go, what's the most important thing? | ||
| Like, what do you work on a guy the most when you first start training him? | ||
| And he's like, their feet. | ||
| Foot strength is one of the biggest weaknesses that a lot of fighters have. | ||
| Their feet will get tired and so you can't push off as hard. | ||
| You can't move as well. | ||
| Your footwork starts to suck. | ||
| You can't explode in or out. | ||
| When you see a guy who's got... | ||
| Real good footwork and the ability to dive in and out and move very well and fast. | ||
| You realize what a giant advantage that is. | ||
| Like, Conor does it so well. | ||
| Lyoto did it so well. | ||
| Wonderboy does it so well. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Joe Duffy. | ||
| Joe Duffy banging on Mitch Clark. | ||
| Joe Duffy very upset coming into this fight after losing to Dustin Poirier. | ||
| He's got a rear naked choke on him. | ||
| Clark taps. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Joe Duffy's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He was a bad motherfucker, but he ran into Poirier when Poirier had finally figured out that 155 was the healthy weight class for him. | ||
| That he was just killing himself, making that 145 limit. | ||
| He's a big boy. | ||
| You ever stand next to Dustin Poirier? | ||
| He's a big dude. | ||
| He's a big dude. | ||
| He's a big dude to get down to 145 pounds. | ||
| These guys that do that, man, they are, oof. | ||
| When did he fight last? | ||
| He looked really fucking good. | ||
| He fought Bobby Green, knocked him out. | ||
| Really good. | ||
| TKO'd him, I should say. | ||
| And his stand-up looked excellent. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| He's so sharp and real fluid with his combinations. | ||
| And all the guys that McGregor beat up. | ||
| Those first two or three guys really have turned... | ||
| Holloway, Max Holloway's a killer right now. | ||
| Oh, Max Holloway is the killer. | ||
| Max Holloway's on fire right now. | ||
| He's the killer. | ||
| Dennis Seaver's somewhere banging on a cage right now. | ||
| You know, Dennis Seaver's the only one that hasn't showed what happened after McGregor, but... | ||
| Yeah, well, Dennis Seaver took a bad beating in that fight. | ||
| I remember watching that fight going, oh, this is, uh... | ||
| It was a Dennis Seaver, I think, that, first of all, Conor's just better than him. | ||
| Conor's faster, he's bigger, hits hard as fuck. | ||
| He's 30 years younger. | ||
| Yeah, and it's just the miles. | ||
| Seaver's had some wars inside the cage. | ||
| You know, you go back and watch some of Seaver's fights, then think about the camps that he had in preparing for those fights. | ||
| Then think about the fucking wars that he must have had in the camps. | ||
| And you look at all that Miles. | ||
| So it's like, you see a guy like Conor beat a guy like Seaver, and it just sort of confirms what you already know, is that Conor's the truth. | ||
| He is that goddamn good. | ||
| Because it was a beating, you know? | ||
| And Seaver's got an interesting style. | ||
| It's hard to beat him up standing. | ||
| Because Seaver throws hard shots, and he's got that weird karate style. | ||
| That one kick is like a... | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| It just was not enough. | ||
| When I first met John Anik, he didn't have gray hair. | ||
| Look at him now. | ||
| He's like Obama. | ||
| You do these live shows, you freak the fuck out. | ||
| I'm looking at him going, he had no fucking gray hair. | ||
| He was a young kid two years ago. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Props to John Anik for getting that 209 tattoo. | ||
| That shit's hilarious. | ||
| You know what he did? | ||
| He fucking said something, like something silly about Nate Diaz, that if Nate Diaz won the fight with Conor, he would get 209 tattooed on his arm. | ||
| First of all, you're probably not supposed to say that, I don't think. | ||
| Especially about a guy that you have to commentate on. | ||
| Second of all, I didn't agree with it at all. | ||
| I didn't agree with it at all stylistically. | ||
| I thought when they announced that matchup, I was like, whoa. | ||
| Nate's a nightmare. | ||
| The people that don't know he's a nightmare, if you don't know that guy's a nightmare, go watch that fight with Michael Johnson. | ||
| He beats up Michael Johnson standing. | ||
| Go watch what he did to Cowboy Cerrone, particularly in the first round. | ||
| Nate Diaz is a motherfucker. | ||
| Well, listen, bro. | ||
| A tattoo is nothing. | ||
| Didn't Tripoli have to drink a bucket of piss or something? | ||
| A bucket of piss you'd forget about in a couple weeks. | ||
| He's going to remember that tattoo for the rest of his life. | ||
| Shit! | ||
| That bucket of piss will linger over my head all week. | ||
| But Anik is a really good guy. | ||
| He is a good guy. | ||
| He's a real nice guy. | ||
| I really like that guy. | ||
| I think he's a really good commentator, too. | ||
| He's excellent. | ||
| That job that he has and that Goldberg has, that job is hard, man. | ||
| It seems easy because they're good at it. | ||
| But if you had to do it or if I had to do it, I would fail miserably. | ||
| I did it once a long time ago. | ||
| I failed miserably. | ||
| It's me and Phil Barone did an episode. | ||
| I was just terrible at that. | ||
| My job is so much easier. | ||
| All I have to do is the fights are happening and I have to say what I think is happening in the fight. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The job of the Goldberg guy or the Anik guy... | ||
| Or Michael Chiavello or any of those guys. | ||
| Maura Rennell. | ||
| That's a very difficult job. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Duffy with the right hand! | ||
| Mitch is in trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, that job, you've got to keep it together. | |
| It's just a replay. | ||
| I was like, wait a minute, he had tapped, didn't he? | ||
| That's a beautiful angle of it. | ||
| That's a quick beatdown. | ||
| Joe Duffy working with Farras Zahabi is a big move too, man. | ||
| That's a big move. | ||
| I know he had done some work with him before, but there's like a couple of those guys. | ||
| Like a Duke Rufus, you know, Farras, Matt Hume. | ||
| They just know so much. | ||
| How much Farras' resume? | ||
| I watched some of his breakdown. | ||
| It's impressive as hell. | ||
| Yeah, he was a kickboxer. | ||
| Very good kickboxer. | ||
| And nasty jujitsu, man. | ||
| Really good jujitsu. | ||
| I've seen him demonstrate some techniques and I've talked to some people that roll with him. | ||
| Legit world-class. | ||
| Like, very, very good on the ground. | ||
| Like, surprisingly good. | ||
| Yeah, and just very smart. | ||
| Very smart. | ||
| Very good at breaking down fights. | ||
| Very analytical mind, but very objective, not ego-based. | ||
| And he's strong in everything, Feras is. | ||
| As a martial artist, I think. | ||
| I think you could say the same thing about Matt Hume. | ||
| Both those guys are elite in everything. | ||
| Matt Hume was an elite MMA fighter. | ||
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| He fought Pat Miletic back in the day. | ||
| This was before Pat had become the UFC champion, but Pat was a really well-respected MMA fighter. | ||
| He was a real pioneer, Pat Miletic was. | ||
| And Matt Hume took him apart. | ||
| He blasted him. | ||
| He blasted him with leg kicks, and I believe he caught him with a knee and broke his nose. | ||
| And it was a real weird stoppage, because it was a real quick fight. | ||
| And Pat would have fought through it. | ||
| But they stopped the fight because of a broken nose. | ||
| So, like, honestly, I mean, although Matt was having his way with him, I mean, it was just a series of exchanges. | ||
| We've all seen fights turn around, where one guy's winning and he's dominating, and then the other guy turns around and beats him, but... | ||
| But Matt Hume, my point is, like, did he beat, even though there was a kind of a... | ||
| I just wanted to put it, like, it was kind of a funky stoppage. | ||
| Because Pat would have definitely fought through it. | ||
| Like, you'd have to kill Pat Miletic to get him to quit. | ||
| He's not quitting. | ||
| You know, for a broken nose, that didn't mean shit to him, but the doctor just decided for whatever. | ||
| A broken fucking nose. | ||
| I would go home. | ||
| It was like 94 or something like that. | ||
| A broken nose? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're bleeding like that, gushing out of your... | ||
| I'd be fainting. | ||
| These guys have broken noses all the time and they fight through it now. | ||
| Are you fucking crazy? | ||
| They fight through it all the time now. | ||
| When Alvarez had the eye like that, I'm going home. | ||
| Listen, it's over. | ||
| I'm going home. | ||
| I'll come back next week and fight you. | ||
| We gotta go look at this fucking eye. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Broken nose. | ||
| I'm gonna sit there and fight you to the death with a broken nose and shit. | ||
| Well, Rory McDonald's having a problem with his nose. | ||
| Apparently, he broke it twice in training. | ||
| They were talking about it on... | ||
| What is the ESPN shows, or the Fox Sports 1 shows? | ||
| UFC Tonight? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, UFC Tonight. | ||
| They were talking about UFC Tonight, that he had gone through... | ||
| How the fuck do I not know that name? | ||
| I should probably know that. | ||
| That he had to go through two broken noses in his camp. | ||
| So he broke his nose twice in camp, preparing for that fight. | ||
| Because I think it was really fucked up by Robbie Lawler. | ||
| That Robbie Lawler fight was insane. | ||
| I gotta fix my nose. | ||
| They're gonna put two straws in my nose and a stitch. | ||
| For 30 years I was looking for a straw. | ||
| Now they're putting two straws directly in my nose. | ||
| What an invention. | ||
| They're gonna keep them there forever? | ||
| For a week. | ||
| Till the 18th. | ||
| So I do the surgery Monday and then for a week I have two straws in my fucking nose. | ||
| And then they pull the straws out? | ||
| Then they pull the straws out. | ||
| I had splints in my nose. | ||
| It's interesting, man, because it kind of changed the shape of my nose a little bit. | ||
| Like, it made my inside, there was so much they cut out. | ||
| They have these things called turbinates, you know what those things are? | ||
|
unidentified
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Turbinates, yeah. | |
| They get in the way, too. | ||
| They cut those out. | ||
| And he said they just pulled out just giant chunks of scar tissue that had calcified. | ||
| There was just no breathing out of that stupid nose. | ||
| You're gonna love it, Joey. | ||
| Once you get it done, oh my god. | ||
| You're gonna feel so good to be able to breathe out of your nose. | ||
| The right side is fucking done. | ||
| The right side is done. | ||
| I must have killed that side would blow. | ||
| Killed it. | ||
| All I could see is that doctor on Monday, like a dentist, when they're cleaning a cavity, and she's got the goggles on, and coke rocks are hitting her in the face, and fucking aluminum foils, and cubic hairs, and God knows what else. | ||
| I snort a cheek rock. | ||
| Whatever the fuck comes off that ceiling and carpets and cat hair, I put all that shit. | ||
| Because sometimes you drop a coke rock on the floor. | ||
| Listen, at four in the morning, that coke rock's going down. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what's on the floor. | ||
| Nails, thumbtacks, lint. | ||
| It all goes in your nose. | ||
| You deal with it in the morning. | ||
| In the morning, it'll come out. | ||
| Something will be there. | ||
| It's fucking real. | ||
|
unidentified
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You just take it out. | |
| Un-fucking-believable. | ||
| If you spilled a little bit on a hardwood floor, would you get down on that floor and sniff it right off the floor? | ||
| I would fucking put my finger and whatever else stuck to that finger. | ||
| Let's say it was a little coke rock and I had lint around and sheet rock. | ||
| Whatever else was on that finger went in my fucking nose with some water and I just held it up there to melt it and whatever happened, happened. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| And the doctor's name is Dr. Line. | ||
| L-I-N-E. No. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't know if it's a joke. | ||
| The doctor that's fixing your nose is Dr. Line? | ||
| Dr. Line. | ||
| That's the fucking nose doctor. | ||
| See, that's one of those things where it just makes you feel like we're not living in reality. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Dr. Line. | ||
| When he gave me the reference, I fucking died, my family doctor. | ||
| I go, are you serious? | ||
| His name is Dr. Line. | ||
| This can't be real, Joey. | ||
| It's a movie. | ||
| We're living in a movie. | ||
| This John Jones shit, Joey Diaz. | ||
| How disappointed. | ||
| Real disappointed. | ||
| I'm like a 10. I was a 10. Out of all fight cancellation disappointments, that was heartbreaking. | ||
| 9 o'clock at fucking night? | ||
| 9 o'clock at night I found that. | ||
| I found it by Jamie. | ||
| Jamie texted it to me. | ||
| I was heartbroken. | ||
| And you said, oh no, or something. | ||
| I just couldn't believe it. | ||
| I was like, oh no, I couldn't believe it. | ||
| It's not drugs. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| It's not, because he's been tested by the probation department. | ||
| Well, how often do they test him? | ||
| Every two weeks, maybe once a month. | ||
| Well, what if he was doing something that, well, who the fuck knows? | ||
| It's just speculation. | ||
| Yeah, it's just speculation. | ||
| But from what I understand, I don't think they pull you off a card if you were doing pot. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, if he tested positive for marijuana this far out, because it was in June, I do not think they would pull him off the card. | ||
| He tested positive once before, before a fight for cocaine. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Against Cormier once before. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, I don't think it's that. | ||
| No. | ||
| I think it's a PED. Oh, God. | ||
| That's what I think it is. | ||
| And what's a PED exactly? | ||
| Performance enhancing drug. | ||
| Which could be... | ||
| Drop it on me. | ||
| It could be an accident. | ||
| And it's been an accident many times. | ||
| Tim Means is the most recent example. | ||
| I mean, he told them straight up, this is all I took. | ||
| They went to the fucking store, bought it off the shelf, opened it up, tested it, it had that shit in it. | ||
| So these people... | ||
| We've said it time and time again, folks. | ||
| There's people that are selling these things in vitamin stores and these muscle building things and... | ||
| There's some people that might say that it has the ingredients on the list, which are all things that have been shown to help build your body up, but they throw other stuff in there too. | ||
| They just do. | ||
| They want their stuff to work. | ||
| So sometimes they make these things and they just put steroids in them. | ||
| Like, you could go to a fucking GNC, or a vitamin shop, and you can go and buy steroids. | ||
| Like, legit steroids. | ||
| Like, they will make you fucking big like steroids will. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| They keep catching them. | ||
| Not as good as the best of the best steroids, but at times there were. | ||
| I've talked about it before. | ||
| There was this stuff called Mag-10 that you could get. | ||
| It was so strong! | ||
| It was crazy how strong it was. | ||
| You just would get jacked! | ||
| There's so much of that stuff. | ||
| There's so many of those things out there. | ||
| And they just keep making them, and then they catch them, and then they have to change the name, and they come back. | ||
| That's how they do it with those boner pills, too. | ||
| Those boner pills are filled with, like, steroids and fucking Viagra. | ||
| Like, we need to do an on-it test of boner pills. | ||
| We need to, like, go buy whatever Red Band's taken and take it to a lab. | ||
| And just find out exactly... | ||
| Now, you buy those over-the-counter, right? | ||
| Not even over the counter. | ||
| It's like you buy them at gas stations only. | ||
| It's like regular stores aren't going to sell those rhino pills. | ||
| You have to buy them in the shittiest... | ||
| And what do they do to your dick? | ||
| Apparently, according to Red Band, I haven't taken them, they destroy it. | ||
| They turn it into a fucking cock-eating zombie. | ||
| Your dick just becomes a monster. | ||
| Your dick just... | ||
| Something happens to it. | ||
| It just gets so hard that you can't believe it. | ||
| You're filled with lust and passion. | ||
| People talk about it like they're crazed. | ||
| I'm like, you're taking meth. | ||
| You're taking meth mixed with Viagra. | ||
| Like someone's dosing them up with some ridiculously high levels of speed and probably some steroids and some meth and some Viagra. | ||
| Just... | ||
| I was out of... | ||
| They don't have to tell you what's in there. | ||
| Well, I was out of that Hemp Force Chocolate. | ||
| And I didn't have enough chance to send the kid an email and get it. | ||
| So I just went to the store. | ||
| And I asked the kid, I just want protein. | ||
| I didn't want to spend the $94 for the whey. | ||
| Because I didn't want all that protein powder. | ||
| So I went to the one on Lancashire. | ||
| And he goes, do you take any pre-workout shit? | ||
| And I go, I don't take none. | ||
| And I take the fucking quadriceps. | ||
| I didn't tell him that. | ||
| But I take like half of the shroom tech. | ||
| I don't want to have a fucking heart attack. | ||
| I take half of it. | ||
| Those fucking shroom techs, sometimes you're in the middle of class and you're gasping for air because so much air is coming into you and my body can't take it. | ||
| It's too much fucking air sometimes. | ||
| Like, you're like, fuck, this is too much. | ||
| So I just went there one day and the guy goes, take this. | ||
| It's like a drink before you work out again. | ||
| I had it in the bag and I drove and I get there and I go, let me just try it. | ||
| I tried half of it. | ||
| I did the class, but on the way home, I had the wildest fucking hard-on. | ||
| I had to go home, take a shower, and jerk off in the fucking shower because the hard-on was real. | ||
| Mama wasn't home. | ||
| Nobody was around. | ||
| I mean, it was fucking evil. | ||
| And even after I jerked off, it stayed hard, hard in the shower. | ||
| I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| I gotta save this shit and drink it when Mama's around. | ||
| That's these things, man. | ||
| They're selling these things. | ||
| Then I got scared because after I jerked off like an hour later, my heart started having palpitations. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, enough with this shit. | ||
| Enough with this. | ||
| I don't do anything. | ||
| Listen, I've never been a proponent, is that the word? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| To fucking Red Bull. | ||
| Because when I was shooting a movie once, I was up all night snorting blow. | ||
| And I fucking drank three of those Red Bulls and I fell asleep. | ||
| So I said, fuck it. | ||
| There's nothing in that shit. | ||
| That shit don't work. | ||
| I drank three of those Red Bulls and was nodding out of the set. | ||
| So those things don't fucking work. | ||
| So I've never really been any energy drink. | ||
| I grew up without energy drinks. | ||
| You'd expect me to like energy drinks. | ||
| I hate all that shit. | ||
| I don't believe it. | ||
| When I was a beginning comic, I used to take no dose to drive all night. | ||
| That is horrible. | ||
| That stuff's nasty. | ||
| Just when I would drink it with Mountain Dew to really go deep and smoke a joint. | ||
| You drive all night like this, look. | ||
| You drive like that all night. | ||
| And then you pull over, you take a nap, and I would take a nap with the car on because it was the winter. | ||
| Like in those days, I had to drive. | ||
| I would have to do the late show as a feature and then drive back to Boulder overnight from Boise, Idaho. | ||
| Or wherever the fuck I was at. | ||
| Billings, Montana. | ||
| So I would drive all night to pick up the baby in those days. | ||
| I'd have to do whatever the fuck I had to do. | ||
| One night, Jamie, I pulled the car over, and it was freezing out. | ||
| I left the car on, and I fell asleep. | ||
| And when I woke up, I thought I lost control of the car. | ||
| You have no idea what happens to your heart. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| When you fall asleep and then wake up, and I had the headlights on, and I saw the snow. | ||
| And I was like, ah, ah, ah! | ||
| And you grab the steering wheel and you put the brake on me and you're like, I'm not even fucking moving. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So those no dozes with Mountain Dew. | ||
| Oh my boy, there you go. | ||
| Alan Joban just about to step into the octagon right now. | ||
| Great dude. | ||
| Great dude. | ||
| Very sweet. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Always says hello. | ||
| He's the one of Eddie's longest students. | ||
| I've known that kid forever. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's always been awesome. | ||
| Great guy to train with. | ||
| Super cool. | ||
| He's been doing really well in the UFC, except the Einstein fight, you know, but that guy, Tumanoff is a beast, man. | ||
| Albert Tumanoff is just so technical. | ||
| His striking is just so good. | ||
| He's got another dude that Rafael Cordero has. | ||
| His hair's always fucked up. | ||
| Doesn't look like much of a fighter. | ||
| He got eye poked last time twice, and he just knocked the motherfucker out. | ||
| Baruch. | ||
| Oh, Baruch. | ||
| Dariush. | ||
| I like him, too. | ||
| I like Rafael Cordero. | ||
| But Neil Dariush is a really good jiu-jitsu player, too, man. | ||
| You see his jiu-jitsu? | ||
| No. | ||
| His kickboxing has come a long way with Cordero. | ||
| You know, his kickboxing is really good now. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| But his jiu-jitsu is nasty. | ||
| He keeps his guard down, like his hands low, which always... | ||
| Sometimes, yeah. | ||
| But Cordero is Cordero, so I trust they're up to something. | ||
| So it's none of my business. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck they do. | ||
| You know, Darius is a very smart guy. | ||
| Very smart guy. | ||
| And he's a hard worker and he'll get better. | ||
| I mean, right now he's cracking into that top ten realm. | ||
| He's a very, very good fighter. | ||
| Listen, brother. | ||
| Had a setback in the Chiesa fight, you know, Chiesa, Michael Chiesa choked him, but Chiesa, I'm telling you, man, Michael Chiesa has nasty back control. | ||
| I watch that kid's, the way he takes backs, the way he clamps down, he's got a super, like, very tight game. | ||
| Some guys just have a technique. | ||
| Like, remember Cody McKenzie had that fucking guillotine of death. | ||
| Like, if McKenzie caught you in that guillotine, man, he was putting dudes asleep. | ||
| And you look at him, not a physical specimen, you know? | ||
| Just looks like a regular dude. | ||
| He's not athletically gifted. | ||
| He just had this one technique, razor sharp. | ||
| Razor sharp. | ||
| And for, okay, it's four minutes and 50 seconds right now in round number one. | ||
| So that's the time stamp. | ||
| 46, 45, 44, 43. You got it. | ||
| But Chiesa's got that with his back mount, man. | ||
| He gets that back mount on dudes. | ||
| That rear naked choke is a strong position for him. | ||
| Alan Joban looking very light on his feet here. | ||
| Listen, man, once you get to that elite level, you have to be very intelligent as a fighter. | ||
| There's no other way to improve that higher level. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You're not a bar brother no more that goes in there with, I'm gonna punch him in the mouth mentality. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You figure out how to win the war, you train accordingly. | ||
| I mean, those guys are... | ||
| And that jiu-jitsu... | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Big left hand, Joban. | ||
| That jiu-jitsu makes you so analytical when you're a high-level black belt. | ||
| It makes you think so much differently than, you know, just throwing kicks and punches, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to think so much quickly. | ||
| When you roll with those high-level black belts, Game over. | ||
| I mean, it's just a... | ||
| Yeah, Joban's here in full guard. | ||
| I would like to see him pass. | ||
| I don't like this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See? | ||
| And he got swept. | ||
| Now he's stuck in a standing guillotine, but only one arm in. | ||
| I don't ever like it when dudes lay in the guard. | ||
| I just think if you're on top and you're in the guard, you should at least attempt to pass. | ||
| Because if you can pass and get to a dominant position... | ||
| You establish that you have the better ground game, right? | ||
| And then you also have the opportunity to try to set some stuff up for real. | ||
| And you force someone to be completely defensive, because someone in the guard is still partially offensive. | ||
| They can still catch you. | ||
| When you get a guy in side control, you're almost 100% offensive, and he's almost 100% defensive. | ||
| There's only a couple things you can do from the bottom, like with elbows, and maybe you can catch a Kimura if the guy's not paying attention. | ||
| But for the most part, when you're in the guard, like we were talking about with Verdum, there's still guys that can fuck you up from there. | ||
| Brian Ortega, he will fuck you up from inside his guard. | ||
| Lay in that dude's guard. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| That guy will fuck people up in that guard. | ||
| I just think sometimes dudes try to play it safe. | ||
| You know, they get a guy down and they're inside of his guard and they just say, alright, let me just throw some punches here and see what's up. | ||
| And they just kind of cancel each other out. | ||
| So what you're saying is if you're in the closed guard, get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Yeah, don't get... | ||
| First of all, don't, like, fall into it. | ||
| And obviously easier said than done, right? | ||
| But don't choose to fall into it. | ||
| Treat it like it's a dangerous place. | ||
| Get out of there. | ||
| On everybody. | ||
| Even on guys that maybe their guard's not that good. | ||
| Pretend it is. | ||
| Treat everybody the same way. | ||
| Get the fuck... | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Head kick! | ||
| Oh, that was brutal. | ||
| This dude's done. | ||
| If this guy survives this, he is a fucking monster. | ||
| Oh, elbows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Wow, this dude is gutting it out. | ||
| He is gutting it out, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this, he's surviving. | |
| Come on, let's do this shit, Alan. | ||
| This dude's surviving. | ||
| Muhammad is tough as fuck, man. | ||
| He is tough as fuck. | ||
| Because he is not giving up at all, man. | ||
| Giving up his back. | ||
| Don't give up your back. | ||
| Oh, knee to the body. | ||
| Those knees against the fence are brutality, man. | ||
| Knees to the body against the fence, they're rough. | ||
| Like when Anderson got Chael Sonnen, that one. | ||
| Ooh, nice slice pass. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| This Muhammad guy's a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| To survive that, he's getting back up to his feet. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| And he rolls. | ||
| Joban on top. | ||
| Oh, he went crazy with the flying punch. | ||
| Joban's wrestling looks pretty good too, man. | ||
| Good defense here, but this Muhammad guy looks very strong. | ||
| I think Joban and those guys work out for kickboxing somewhere in North Hollywood. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Saxons? | ||
| Yeah, some badass school up there. | ||
| Is that in North Hollywood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think that was in Van Nuys. | ||
| Van Nuys. | ||
| Is it in Van Nuys? | ||
| Wherever Alder was. | ||
| Used to be. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| That school there. | ||
| I think one of the kids that goes to daycare trains with Alan, this kid goes. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He always tells me that's where they are. | ||
| Yeah, that Saxon gym is one of the best gyms around. | ||
| In this city for kickboxing. | ||
| A lot of guys out of there fight in local competitions. | ||
| He's got guys in Glory. | ||
| And he's got Allen and a bunch of other guys. | ||
| But very highly respected Jim. | ||
| Damn, Muhammad's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| That dude's tough. | ||
| Because he got clanged. | ||
| He got left-handed on the point of the chin. | ||
| I mean, that's a nice sort of hooking left hand. | ||
| And then clanger. | ||
| He got double clanged. | ||
| He got clanged with the shin and then clanged with the punch after it. | ||
| Dank! | ||
| That's a boom-boom. | ||
| That guy is tough as fuck. | ||
| So here's something that happens in exchanges like that. | ||
| Sometimes when a dude hurts a guy and then unloads on him, trying to finish him, but can't finish him. | ||
| Now, not a guy like Allen, because Allen's pretty experienced. | ||
| I don't think he emptied his gas tank, but guys have emptied their fucking gas tank trying to take a guy out, and then had to coast for the remaining second and third round. | ||
| Like, some guys, they're notorious for that. | ||
| Like, they open up on you, and if it, like, I'm looking at Allen right now, he looks really tired. | ||
| And some guys do that. | ||
| They'll open up with that first round, and they think they got a guy hurt. | ||
| But if the guy can survive, they've blown a lot of gas and a lot of adrenaline, too, because they got emotional. | ||
| They just went crazy after you. | ||
| And then when it doesn't happen and the guy survives and he's still there, there's just like a mindfuck going on. | ||
| Like, oh no, did I empty my gas tank? | ||
| Who was the big guy against that Fort Brock and had him and was punching him? | ||
| Shane motherfucking Carlin. | ||
| That's who that happened to him. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That's who that happened to that time. | ||
| It was a couple of the fighters. | ||
| And I didn't understand what you were saying at first. | ||
| If they gassed in the first round, your arms get tired. | ||
| I didn't understand that concept. | ||
| Then I saw it a couple times, and I was like, ah! | ||
| Well, Shane was a monster, dude. | ||
| I mean, he had just ridiculous punching power. | ||
| And he was just far more skillful, at the time at least, than Brock was standing. | ||
| Shane was a really good striker standing up. | ||
| His punches were short, and he had mad confidence in them. | ||
| Like, he would slug it out with anybody. | ||
| And one of the best examples of that, when he fought Gabriel Gonzaga, Gonzaga broke his nose. | ||
| Like, Gonzaga had him hurt. | ||
| He broke his nose and staggered him. | ||
| And then when Gonzaga moved in for the kill, Shane hit him with six inches of death. | ||
| Just this. | ||
| Thump! | ||
| That giant cinder block in the end of his impossibly thick arms, and he just punched through Gonzaga's head. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| He has these short punches that he hit Frank Mir with. | ||
| He tied up Frank Mir, he got him in a collar tie or something like that. | ||
| I forget what he did, or maybe overhooked him. | ||
| I forget what he did to control his body. | ||
| But then he just uppercutted the fuck out of him. | ||
| And it was just brutal. | ||
| The power and the speed and the fucking leverage of these shots. | ||
| I was like, Shane Carr was one of the scariest guys to have punch you. | ||
| Maybe ever. | ||
| Shane Carwin uncorks on you. | ||
| Like, I've watched that guy knock out a lot of dudes. | ||
| And there's something about him in particular, like his physical size and, you know, until his body started having, like, serious problems because of all his football career and, you know, just years of combat sports training. | ||
| You know, his body was giving him some real big problems with his back and stuff. | ||
| Now, what do you feel in the octagon when your arms get like that? | ||
| Do they just get heavy? | ||
| Acid fills your arms? | ||
| You'd have to talk to them, obviously, because I've never fought in the octagon. | ||
| Does it happen to boxers? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Does this type of training happen to boxers where they get all... | ||
| Adrenaline dumps. | ||
| Adrenaline dumps are so real. | ||
| But there's also a thing about MMA versus boxing. | ||
| Five minutes is a long fucking time. | ||
| It's a long time. | ||
| And you can't sprint for five minutes. | ||
| No one can. | ||
| And so, with a guy like Joban, like, did he sprint there? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| Did he sprint? | ||
| Did he go all out and then couldn't go any further and then had a minute 40 left in the round and Muhammad survives and Muhammad feels that. | ||
| He feels that Joban might have fucked up and emptied his gas tank. | ||
| Now here he's got Joban up against the cage. | ||
| Joban's moving around. | ||
| He looks a little slower. | ||
| You know, it gets interesting because that's a famous quote. | ||
| I think someone else said it, but Shael Sonnen is the one who told it to me. | ||
| He said that if you... | ||
| Try to take a guy out in the first round, but don't. | ||
| You most certainly lose a decision. | ||
| Or you're more likely to lose a decision. | ||
| Like you try to win the fight by knockout or don't win the fight at all because you're not going to have the gas to go three rounds. | ||
| Is there anything you could do in your strength and conditioning program to avoid that? | ||
| You can recover faster. | ||
| With the most efficient training and getting yourself in the very best peak shape, you can recover faster. | ||
| You know, the question is, okay, is a guy like Alan or is this gentleman Muhammad, are these guys in their optimum physical shape? | ||
| Well, you don't really know. | ||
| They're obviously in fantastic shape. | ||
| They're obviously elite athletes, but are they at their best? | ||
| I mean, if he was with Amar Marinovich or someone along those lines, I mean, who knows what a guy like that could do on a strength and conditioning level. | ||
| And so then it becomes a matter of how important is the strength and conditioning. | ||
| See, that's where guys like Marinovich and like even Nick Kurson, a lot of these guys, they differ from a lot of the pack. | ||
| They think it's the most important thing. | ||
| And I think he's right. | ||
| I think once you already learn how to fight, then it's almost less important To spend all the time boxing and sparring and almost more important to do drills and do mad strength and conditioning work. | ||
| I think you take less off your body. | ||
| You already know how to fight. | ||
| I mean, Alan Joban knows how to fucking fight. | ||
| This is not going to be a surprise for him. | ||
| How much fight training does he need to do versus conditioning training? | ||
| Because if he's in the same position here in this fight but had less time in camp hitting sparring partners but more time doing plyometrics and was much fresher and felt better in this round, the argument is that you're better off having the most fit Vehicle to do combat with, like your mind already knows how to do combat, right? | ||
| You already know how to kick, you already know how to punch, you already know how to choke dudes. | ||
| You're not going to get much better at that in six weeks. | ||
| But here's what you can get better in six weeks. | ||
| You could ramp your cardio up to some fucking ungodly levels. | ||
| So the question becomes, should you invest all your time doing that? | ||
| Or should you invest your time in fight training? | ||
| And it's the great debate. | ||
| Now, we've had the discussion of Robbie Lawler. | ||
| That Robbie Lawler's training camps consist of wrestling and hitting the pads. | ||
| Used to. | ||
| Spars now. | ||
| He spars now. | ||
| I don't think it's a coincidence that the time that he's back sparring is also the time when he went on this unbelievably successful run in the UFC and is now the welterweight champ. | ||
| I don't think you can get away with not sparring. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| But some people do. | ||
| And some people think that you don't need to spar at all. | ||
| Or you spar very little. | ||
| And most of what you do is... | ||
| I mean, that works for them. | ||
| Some people think that sparring is the most important thing. | ||
| Eddie Alvarez went 150 rounds to prepare for Dos Anjos. | ||
| I'm sure Eddie Alvarez does everything else. | ||
| I'm sure he does strength and conditioning. | ||
| I know he does a lot of pad work. | ||
| I know he does everything. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| He leaves no stone unturned, right? | ||
| But that's a lot of sparring, right? | ||
| Some guys don't like to spar much at all. | ||
| Some guys spar very little. | ||
| Maybe spar real light. | ||
| Spar like once a week and they save themselves. | ||
| I mean, everybody's got their own method to prepare. | ||
| But... | ||
| Guys like Kurson, and I guess it's Marinovich's, this is their school of thought. | ||
| It's like for a guy like B.J. Penn. | ||
| Marinovich took B.J. Penn to his highest heights. | ||
| Like when they were training together, B.J. hated the training, but God damn was he unstoppable inside the octagon. | ||
| That was the phenom B.J. Penn. | ||
| That was the real prodigy. | ||
| When B.J. Penn was lightweight champion, like when he destroyed Sean Shirk, when he destroyed Diego Sanchez, God damn. | ||
| Damn, BJ was good. | ||
| For this brief time, this, you know, a few fights. | ||
| His cardio wasn't suspect at all. | ||
| At all with them. | ||
| At all with them. | ||
| But the training is just unbearable. | ||
| BJ did an interview about it where he's talking about how he couldn't even hold his baby in his arms, man. | ||
| He would get home at night and he couldn't hold his baby. | ||
| His arms were too tired. | ||
| Like, they break you. | ||
| They're all about physical conditioning. | ||
| I mean, Marinovich is a fucking mad scientist, man. | ||
| I'm giggling because Monday... | ||
| It was 4th of July, and me, the asshole, decides to go to jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And Mr. Crane goes, fuck it. | ||
| There's no teaching dick today. | ||
| Just seven-minute rounds. | ||
| I didn't know this. | ||
| I can't hear. | ||
| I'm deaf. | ||
| I can't hear. | ||
| I hear he puts the clock on, and you have to pick your sparring partner. | ||
| A girl picks me. | ||
| Dog, she fucks me up, right? | ||
| Because she's about a buck ten, this girl, with a tattoo over her eyebrow. | ||
| So I know I'm in for a fucking dogfight with this girl. | ||
| She can't pull me down. | ||
| She can't move me around, but she's taking my back, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I'm dying. | ||
| I'm huffing and puffing. | ||
| I look up and there's 3.50 left on the clock. | ||
| Three minutes and 30 minutes left. | ||
| I thought I was going to fucking die. | ||
| He made us do that seven times. | ||
| At the end, I just looked at him, Joe, and I was like, Jesus Christ, I don't know how you high-level motherfuckers do this. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I couldn't even walk that night. | ||
| My legs were killing me. | ||
| But I will tell you what I've been doing over there, Joe, that's helped me a lot. | ||
| And it's right what you're saying, that technical fitness. | ||
| I do the 30-minute class after the jiu-jitsu class. | ||
| And it's just little exercises that you don't think much of, but next thing you know, shit's pouring out of you. | ||
| Are you doing it with that Kettle Jitsu guy, the guy on Instagram? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He's my buddy, Joey Alvarado, good guy. | ||
| He's got a good Instagram page. | ||
| He really works hard at Joey Alvarado. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of good videos. | |
| He really does. | ||
| Good kettlebell exercises. | ||
| Yeah, he really does. | ||
| That's 6-3 in the morning, dog. | ||
| And he's a Jiu-Jitsu player, too, right? | ||
| He's a black belt. | ||
| He's a Machado black belt. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Because he had real good exercises, grappling exercises. | ||
| For grappling for jiu-jitsu. | ||
| That shit starts at 530 in the morning with him. | ||
| That's an animal, man. | ||
| 530 kettlebells, 630 jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Then it closes down till 9. Then they start that tack fit. | ||
| Then they do no-gi. | ||
| Then they do drills. | ||
| Then they do the regular jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And there's people that stay there from 9 to 1, Joe Rogan. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| This is this dude I'm friends with, Jocko Willink. | ||
| He's a former Navy SEAL, and now he does like... | ||
| Does, like, seminars for businesses and stuff like that. | ||
| Teaches them how to motivate and how to lead groups. | ||
| This motherfucker's such a savage that every morning he takes a photo of his watch when he gets up to work out. | ||
| He works out every morning at 4.30. | ||
| But his Instagram is filled with these pictures of his watch at 4.30. | ||
| And you want to see some shit that makes you feel lazy. | ||
| Follow that guy's Instagram. | ||
| Every fucking day, 4.30, all caps, GET AFTER IT. And he's doing fucking deadlifts and squats and fucking throwing kettlebells around and doing dips. | ||
| You're not an early morning guy, aren't you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Not at all? | ||
| What's the earliest you throw weights around? | ||
| Sometimes I do. | ||
| Well, I do weird shit. | ||
| There's Jocko's... | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Look at his fucking Instagram page. | ||
| It's all 4.13 in the morning. | ||
| Oh, I know who that guy is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He trains with Dean Lister. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I know who that is. | ||
| Legit, legit top-level black belt, too. | ||
| I mean, I know for a fact that he goes to war with Lister. | ||
| And Lister is one of the best in the fucking world. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| And he's got a podcast, too. | ||
| The Jocko Podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jocko Podcast. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I convinced him to do it after doing the podcast with him here. | ||
| Alan's in trouble. | ||
| He's in trouble. | ||
| He's taking some hard shots here. | ||
| He's getting roughed up. | ||
| That uppercut there, I think what we're talking about might have happened. | ||
| Yeah, it did happen. | ||
| You could see him on the ground. | ||
| He was tired. | ||
| I saw him after the first round. | ||
| Oh, he got spinning back-fisted. | ||
| He's alright. | ||
| They went to a decision. | ||
| I wonder who won. | ||
| Well, he won this round. | ||
| I think Alan won the first two. | ||
| That guy's a tough perk. | ||
| He's a tough motherfucker. | ||
| Congrats to him. | ||
| Win or lose. | ||
| I think he's 12-0 going into this. | ||
| I think this is his first UFC fight or no? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I feel like he's had one. | ||
| But goddamn, I'm impressed with him, man. | ||
| This is his first one? | ||
| Yeah, because they didn't have a picture of him. | ||
| They didn't have a fucking picture of him. | ||
| He's really good, man. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| He's tough as shit, too. | ||
| I mean, he got... | ||
| Oh, look at that right hand. | ||
| That's nice and clean. | ||
| He got clangered in that first round, man. | ||
| You can never forget that. | ||
| He got clangered twice. | ||
| He was in real trouble. | ||
| That guy gutted through that, weathered the storm, and started putting it on him beginning sometime in the second round. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Nice combinations, man. | ||
| Sometimes I'm up at 4.30. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I drink a glass of water with ice in it to get everything going. | ||
| I make a little coffee. | ||
| I make an almond smoothie, and it's like 5.45, and I go, maybe I'll go to 6.30 jujitsu class. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And I'm like, fuck you. | ||
| Most heart attacks happen between 6 a.m. | ||
| and 12, bitch. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| I don't do a jumping jack till 12. You understand me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| Nothing. | ||
| And now they're saying, if you're older than 50, they want you to take a baby aspirin and drink a glass of water. | ||
| So now I'm pissing all night. | ||
| I go on a fucking drought after 6 so I can sleep fucking 9 hours straight without pissing. | ||
| Now they want you to drink a big glass of water at midnight before you fucking go to bed. | ||
| Yeah, that's not good for your sleep patterns. | ||
| No, but that's what they said you need to do. | ||
| Why do you need to do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Isn't it important to sleep? | ||
| Check out the journal of this? | ||
| One of those things? | ||
| Yeah, so now they're saying a baby aspen in a glass of water. | ||
| Give me a guess. | ||
| Give me a guess. | ||
| Who wins? | ||
| Alan Joban. | ||
| 28-27. | ||
| 29-28. | ||
| 29-27. | ||
| Alan Joban. | ||
| Well, he better get on his knees and thank the Lord. | ||
| He better get on his knees and thank the Lord and Satan and whoever else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| Because he knows. | ||
| He was getting hit at the end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He knows. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's gonna walk out of there and go, Jesus, I was running out of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was in trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
- - Alan Joban just giving that dude props. | |
| That's what a nice guy Alan Joban is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he should have used better wording. | |
| I mean, I see what he's trying to do, but he shouldn't say took him out because he didn't take that dude out. | ||
| I mean, he hurt him in the first round. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not making excuses, but I'm pretty certain I broke my hand in the second round. | |
| Slanger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, my coaches led me through it. | |
| My coaches said, give me five good minutes. | ||
| You don't need the left hand. | ||
| Just set up the kicks, set up everything else. | ||
| So Alan Joban broke his hand that second round. | ||
| People that listen to this are probably like, what happened to them? | ||
| Did they go away? | ||
| Sorry, we're listening. | ||
| That's the problem with actually knowing a dude and being friends with a dude and then doing commentary on his fights and watching him fight. | ||
| It's like, I just know him. | ||
| Such a nice dude. | ||
| So, what's the earliest you can work out, my brother? | ||
| I'll get up sometimes before the dawn. | ||
| And work out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What time is that? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Sometimes I get up to pee, right? | ||
| It might be like 5 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And I just, as like a little mental exercise, I say, I'm just going to go work out. | ||
| And I just force myself to go work out. | ||
| No reefer, no food, no nothing. | ||
| Straight up gangster. | ||
| Just get some water. | ||
| Bad breath going there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how long do you, is it full or is it just to get the blood going? | ||
| Depends. | ||
| You know, but it's always got to be something hard to do. | ||
| Powerful Robbie Lawler. | ||
| Usually it's, you know, I'll do some chin-ups, I'll do some kettlebell work. | ||
| Just do like 40 minutes, maybe more, maybe an hour. | ||
| And you go back to bed and who can sleep after that? | ||
| No, who can fucking sleep after that? | ||
| Sometimes I stay up. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Sometimes I like to go up, get up early rather, because... | ||
| I like to go outside when everything's coming on. | ||
| There's something weird about seeing people wake up, sort of like seeing people leave their houses and seeing the hustle and bustle as they're starting to get ready to go to work. | ||
| You can actually kind of see it in the distance all spread out when you get up in the morning and you go sit outside on your porch or something like that and look around. | ||
| There's something about, it just makes you really recognize this strange cycle, strange cycle that we do every night. | ||
| Sleep and rise, and sleep and rise, and get caught up in the momentum, and keep doing the same thing over and over again, trying to figure out what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| Sometimes when you watch other people doing it, you kind of realize, it's like, oh, this is like a weird, we're like patterned things. | ||
| We follow patterns. | ||
| Like humans on a whole, we love to follow patterns. | ||
| We follow like the same patterns over and over and over and over again. | ||
| Same routes to work. | ||
| Same bullshit you're dealing with at the office, you know? | ||
| Day in, day out, day in, day out. | ||
| When you watch people do it, like when you get up early, if you don't have to go somewhere, and you watch the city come alive, It's like, almost like you get to see the fucking work behind the curtain before the play plays out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like you get to see, like, oh, this is weird. | |
| When was the last time you got up for work a week in a row? | ||
| Like, Fear Factor. | ||
| Yeah, that was the last time I had a job. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| That's the last time I had a fucking job. | ||
| I hated those homes. | ||
| You know, I came from a home where the mornings were, there wasn't much action. | ||
| I got up, I made my own fucking cereal. | ||
| I took a shower. | ||
| I dressed myself on the way out. | ||
| I said, Ma, see you later. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| But then you went to people's homes who, it was heavy duty. | ||
| They were going to work. | ||
| And I would sit there and go, fuck this shit. | ||
| I hate that action in the morning. | ||
| Where's my toothbrush? | ||
| Where's my fucking shirt? | ||
| You know, four people yelling. | ||
| Get out of the fucking bathroom. | ||
| You go in the bathroom, it smells like 10 shits. | ||
| You know, you're like, fuck this, you know. | ||
| So I swore to God, if I ever had a family, I don't want that early morning fucking riffraff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like, she's got riffraff in the morning, there's drama with her in the morning, but not really. | ||
| She's three and a half now. | ||
| She wakes up, she puts a TV on, she gets her own chocolate milk. | ||
| You know, I don't give up. | ||
| Well, I gotta make it for her and I gotta shake it with her and do the whole fucking thing. | ||
| But besides that, she leaves me the fuck alone. | ||
| There's no drama. | ||
| I don't like that early morning drama. | ||
| Once I hit life, okay, that's drama. | ||
| I know what you're saying, like running out the door. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want that shit. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'd rather people relax. | ||
| I walk her. | ||
| I like that slow... | ||
| Yeah, I do too. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| I appreciate the fives in the mornings. | ||
| I appreciate the six in the mornings. | ||
| I love going outside and smoking and watching. | ||
| But I also appreciate two in the mornings. | ||
| Sometimes when I get back to the valley, I just sit on my balcony and look out and I go, Jesus Christ, it's fucking nothing. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| We're in space. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| I'm in space. | ||
| It's me and that fucking moon and those three stars around it. | ||
| I think you need a little place where you can go occasionally. | ||
| Where you don't hear anybody. | ||
| Nobody's talking. | ||
| Where you just look up. | ||
| Just look up by yourself. | ||
| I think we all need that. | ||
| We miss that. | ||
| And that's a really interesting Aspect of civilization that as we become more and more dependent upon technology more and more into lights We were less and less aware of the fact that we're in space It's all it's all happening together It's like the technology that's gonna take people past where we are now to some strange new world in the next decade or hundred years or whenever the next fucking | ||
| crazy invention comes out and You know, I like getting up at 5, and I don't turn the TV on, I don't check Twitter. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I don't do nothing. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I charge my phone in the living room, and I look at it to see if somebody called in an emergency. | ||
| Unless I see missed call, missed call, I put the phone down. | ||
| For two hours, I don't do dick in the morning. | ||
| I have a notebook in front of me, I drink coffee. | ||
| After about 30 minutes, I go smoke some pot and really kick it up and maybe eat a nicotine gum and get the party really started. | ||
| And for two hours, I just drain what's in your coconut. | ||
| I think about the night before. | ||
| I didn't tape that set last night, but I said one thing on stage that I liked. | ||
| And I'll write that down. | ||
| And I have a page of just shit I said on stage the night before. | ||
| It's kind of going anywhere. | ||
| And you like the nicotine gum? | ||
| Gives you a little stimulant? | ||
| Is that the deal? | ||
| Yeah, in the morning with coffee. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He keeps losing more and more weight. | ||
| What's he fighting at? | ||
| 145? | ||
| Well, he's fighting on Saturday, so he's in weight cutting already. | ||
| So he's dehydrated there. | ||
| You could fucking tell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's weird. | ||
| But is he fighting 145? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he's fighting 45. Wait a minute. | |
| Who's he fighting this weekend? | ||
| Jim Miller. | ||
| No, I think he's fighting 55. Joe Lozon. | ||
| Joe Lozon. | ||
| Is it 45? | ||
| He's fighting Takenomi. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Miller's fighting Gomi. | ||
| That's the best, best, under, under, undercard of all fucking time. | ||
| I think Diego's fighting 55. I think 45 was too much for him. | ||
| Yeah, he looks 45 right now. | ||
| 55, 155. Yeah, 155. But he's the kind of guy that even at 55 is going to cut weight. | ||
| He's going to get a little bigger and drop down. | ||
| Who is he fighting again? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe Lozon. | |
| Joe Lozon, that's right. | ||
| That's going to be a wild ass fight. | ||
| Joe Lozon has been in some goddamn wars over the last few years. | ||
| Look at that early prelim. | ||
| Tremendous. | ||
| You could sell that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's incredible. | |
| That's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
DC is still supposed to fight someone? | |
| Yep. | ||
| Any idea who it could be? | ||
| Do you think I'm going to tell you? | ||
| What are you, a fucking reporter? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen to this. | |
| Dude, I don't know. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're banned from the fucking fights and shit. | ||
| He can't fight twice in the weekend. | ||
| I know a few things, but I can't talk about them. | ||
| I know a few things about other things. | ||
| I know some things. | ||
| I can say nothing. | ||
| You don't know nothing. | ||
| I don't know nothing. | ||
| I don't see nothing. | ||
| I'll tell you what, this John Jones thing like literally broke my heart. | ||
| I mean, when you said it to me, it was like a distant relative died. | ||
| Not like a close one. | ||
| Like, oh, Aunt Sue? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I remember her. | ||
| Like a relative that I haven't seen since I was 15. I'm reading that there was two different substances that were in there, not just one, substance two. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| That's what you're reading? | ||
| Which website? | ||
| I don't know where I lost that. | ||
| I pulled it off. | ||
| What I have left up is what he said about it, and it was like a substance he couldn't pronounce. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I haven't... | |
| Well, that's not entirely what I hear. | ||
| I can pronounce both of the substances that I heard. | ||
| Jamie, how many you want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing in all these stars of death? | |
| You know, the number? | ||
| 200. Jesus Christ, Joey. | ||
| You're just chewing this. | ||
| You just said 200. You just threw two of them in your mouth. | ||
| Three. | ||
| You want four to get them part of this guy? | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| How are you doing that? | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| How does your body hold up? | ||
| I'm a savage. | ||
| This and CBD oil. | ||
| I got the glue that keeps the bones together. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Your inflammation level must be zero. | ||
| If pot is anti-inflammatory, which apparently it is, your inflammation level is nothing. | ||
| The CBD oil I'm getting is 51%, this honey oil from Hawaii. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| Three, four drops in the morning. | ||
| I do it after the almond shake. | ||
| I let the almond shake leave my mouth and I put that thing and I hold it for 60 seconds. | ||
| There's times I go home. | ||
| I'm an old fat fuck, man. | ||
| I go home. | ||
| I spar two times. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| I go home. | ||
| I can feel my legs. | ||
| They feel like they're swollen. | ||
| I do Tylenol, the acetophen, and I do three or four of those drops, baby, and the next day I'm ready to rock again. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know, I don't know exactly what the CBD oil... | ||
| Every time I look up benefits, they tell you one more. | ||
| You read now that it prevents dementia. | ||
| You know, you read all these fucking things. | ||
| They've been hiding this shit. | ||
| They've been hiding this shit from America, man. | ||
| Well, because pot's been illegal, they haven't been able to give people CBD oil. | ||
| I mean, it has low levels of THC. You'll test positive for THC with a lot of it. | ||
| No, but now it's legal in 50 states, and you can smell it, so it's got no teeth. | ||
| The only reason why that's going on is because you don't test positive, they're saying. | ||
| Well, they must be way better at it now. | ||
| Yeah, no, now they're really getting it down. | ||
| But it's an element of marijuana. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| There's got to be a by the way, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they can make strains that are higher in CBD oil. | ||
| I mean, maybe they figured out a way to extract CBD oil 100% pure where there's no residue of THC whatsoever. | ||
| They clean that out and then they add a little THC to it because... | ||
| Counterbalance with the THC, that's what gets everything. | ||
| That's what works on those tumors. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, that CBD oil is supposed to be amazing for inflammation, though. | ||
| Yeah, that's a real unfortunate thing that they did that. | ||
| They kept this illegal for so long. | ||
| It helped a few people profit, and it fucked a lot of people over. | ||
| It fucked a lot of people over, not just because people got locked up in jail, but because people got the wrong impression of an awesome plant. | ||
| The really crazy thing was that I was never familiar with holistic medicine until I moved to Boulder. | ||
| And I thought these people were fucking quacks. | ||
| Like, they'd talk to me and I'd go, Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| But then you start paying attention to them. | ||
| They do a touch here, a touch there. | ||
| They tell you to eat something, and you're like, wait a second, I don't have that fucking pain no more. | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| You know, like, what the fuck did you do? | ||
| You know, Boulder is the home of that stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's the home of that stuff. | ||
| It's where it breeds out to the rest of the country. | ||
| Do you believe in that stuff? | ||
| Do you believe people have, like, the voodoo touch, and they can rub your back, and all of a sudden it feels better? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I mean, Hegan's got the Indian. | ||
| The Indian will touch you a couple ways and you're alright. | ||
| There's this other guy that says your frame is bad. | ||
| You know, all that stuff. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| But you know what, man? | ||
| A year ago when I would see movement training, I thought it was crazy. | ||
| And now I think it makes a lot of sense. | ||
| And now I see a lot of high-level jiu-jitsu schools incorporating that as a class in their workouts. | ||
| So it's got to be doing something for you. | ||
| That stuff that the guy did in the beginning, Hickson, Of his documentary, all that stuff. | ||
| It looks very simple. | ||
| It's very similar, too. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| Who knows, bro? | ||
| We've evolved. | ||
| We've evolved at every fucking level, from technology to MMA training. | ||
| Ten years ago, they put a chicken on the floor, and you chased it for speed. | ||
| Whatever the fuck you did in those days, I don't know. | ||
| Now it's completely different. | ||
| Well, that was what was so interesting about Hickson. | ||
| It was that Hickson figured this out in 1994. I mean, that guy was a yogi. | ||
| He was a legitimate yogi. | ||
| I mean, Hickson does some spectacular shit. | ||
| He'll stand on a balance bar and do a full split, standing up, grabs his foot, and puts it over his head like a fucking ballerina. | ||
| Plus, he'll choke you out. | ||
| I mean, his ability to control his body is really freaky. | ||
| Like, he was an incredible bodyweight athlete. | ||
| Like, the stuff that he could do with his body, just in terms of, like, gymnastic movements and stuff like that, yoga movements and stretching movements, like, very, very unusually dexterous. | ||
| Dexterous? | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good dexterity, amazing dexterity, but just his jujitsu was so high level on top of that. | ||
| So he had this deep knowledge of jujitsu, of all the positions, like his basics were so fucking good. | ||
| Everything, like, to this day, him and his son Krohn They use the same standard jujitsu that everyone has always used. | ||
| There's not like a lot of fancy, crazy, weird shit you've never seen before. | ||
| Triangles, arm bars, chokes. | ||
| And they're just razor sharp at them. | ||
| And that's like a Gracie family thing. | ||
| You think about like Hodger, same shit. | ||
| Like Dar's choke, I guess, like the most unconventional thing that he does a lot of the time. | ||
| He does like a standard Gracie attack. | ||
| Arm bars, triangles, guillotines, chokes. | ||
| It's like they have that style of attack, and especially Hickson and his son Krohn is just at this ninja level, this monk level. | ||
| Where it's just, they do the standard jiu-jitsu. | ||
| There's no crazy, weird tricks coming your way. | ||
| No barambolos, no spider guard. | ||
| I mean, they know it, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure he could do it. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure every high-level guy is aware of pretty much every technique at this point. | ||
| Like, if they're competitive, or if they train in a competitive gym, or they're curious, or they work with athletes. | ||
| Look at Derrick Brunson. | ||
| He's fighting out of Houston, Texas. | ||
| You know what he's thinking about right now, right? | ||
| He's like, I'm knocking this motherfucker out so I can go back and get myself some barbecue in this motherfucking shit. | ||
| Maybe he's thinking about Roy Nelson as if he was a white cop. | ||
| It's a fucking nightmare what's going on out there, Joe. | ||
| Jamie, can you put the card up on one of the TVs so we can see what's coming up next? | ||
| There's only one fight left after this. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| It's this and Dos Anjos. | ||
| The Dos Anjos fight's a five-rounder, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Roy Nelson, I knew him back in the day when he was just a jiu-jitsu guy before he ever did any MMA. Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm pretty sure he was in Brazil with us when Eddie had that match with Hoyler. | ||
| I flew down with him. | ||
| That was 2003. Roy Nelson was a real high-level grappler. | ||
| He beat Frank Mir in a grappling competition, a straight grappling competition, like some ridiculous amount. | ||
| Like, just outpointed the shit out of him. | ||
| But, uh, that was like the Frank Mir lazy days. | ||
| Frank Mir has gone through, you know, days where he's less dedicated, days where he's more dedicated. | ||
| Well, he's asking to be released now, man. | ||
| Well, something happened. | ||
| There's some drug test issues. | ||
| What was the Frank Mir drug test issue? | ||
| Was it a steroid thing? | ||
| He had kangaroo meat. | ||
| That's right, right? | ||
| And they said that they tested that they put the steroids in the kangaroo meat or some shit. | ||
| Wait a minute, you serious? | ||
| No, yeah, that's what he said. | ||
| He ate kangaroo. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| When he went to Australia. | ||
| He tested positive after Australia. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| He really blamed it on kangaroo. | ||
| Damn, he's Roy Nelson. | ||
| Knees to the thigh are impressive. | ||
| I like what he's doing there. | ||
| He really did say that. | ||
| Yeah, he really did say that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's what he ate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He said that maybe they put a lot of... | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| Mere questioned in April if his positive test could be the result of tainted kangaroo meat he consumed in Australia. | ||
| I have a feeling he did that with a half a smile on his face. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, Derrick Brunson. | ||
| I told you. | ||
| Derrick's like, wait a second. | ||
| I gotta get this out of Las Vegas. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It's Derrick Lewis. | ||
| What did I call him? | ||
| Derrick Brunson? | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| Um... | ||
| See, now this is a bad spot for him because Roy has a fucking nasty ground game. | ||
| Everybody thinks of Roy as being this dude who just beats you up if you stand and trade with him. | ||
| But Roy can control motherfuckers on the ground, man. | ||
| You know, he lost to Andrzej Orlovski in Elite XC, but that's what I detail or what I call one of the most crooked organizations that ever showed MMA. Crooked in not maybe that they cheated, But crooked in, like, the way they interpreted the rules of MMA, they would stand people up if they were down for, like, 15 seconds. | ||
| Like, if you went to the ground, you gotta submit somebody QUICK. They were just standing people up. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Roy just got blasted in the gut. | ||
| And another one to the gut. | ||
| And to the face. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, Roy's in trouble! | ||
| Oh, knee to the body! | ||
| Oh, he got that gable grip, though. | ||
| Can he get him down? | ||
| He got the S-grip, rather. | ||
| Damn, this is a fight for his life here. | ||
| Derrick Lewis can punch, man. | ||
| That's where his experience comes in, though. | ||
| He got him off him, gave him a little chance to breathe and fucking think, clear his hair, his head. | ||
| He's still in trouble, dude. | ||
|
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|
Lewis can crack, man. | |
| He really hits hard. | ||
| That was an excellent exchange, too. | ||
| Ooh, crazy sport. | ||
| What were we talking about right before this? | ||
| We were talking about something super important. | ||
| CBD oil, shit like that. | ||
|
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|
It started to bring up what's going on in America. | |
| Oh, the shooting things? | ||
| There's an active situation going on too right now in Dallas. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| There's supposedly a shooter shooting cops right now during a protest. | ||
| No shit, no shit. | ||
| This is what's going to happen. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| I told Tate today. | ||
| Tate called me. | ||
| He goes, listen, Tate! | ||
| I go, listen, six black guys are going to get together and start ambushing motherfuckers. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| This is going to go, because you can't keep doing this. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yeah, this is fucked up. | ||
| Roy's taking some bombs, man. | ||
| Roy's in trouble. | ||
| Jesus, Derek is in excellent shape, too, man. | ||
| Because he's hitting them with some hard fucking shots, and he keeps coming forward. | ||
| And Roy can take a punch like no other, and he gets the takedown. | ||
| Goddamn, full mount, not good. | ||
| No bueno for Derek. | ||
| This could be a wrap, man. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Oh, the end of the round! | ||
| Dude, Roy Nelson mounted on you is one of the worst situations ever. | ||
| That gut and all that body weight is all centered. | ||
| It's like having... | ||
| Like a giant 400-pound kettlebell sitting on your dick. | ||
| Like the way he mounts you. | ||
| You know, I don't really side control people. | ||
| I feel bad. | ||
| Especially when I'm sweating and shit. | ||
| They smell my stomach juice and pizzas and pretzel sticks. | ||
| Stomach juice! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Stomach juice. | ||
| I try to get my rib. | ||
| It's too bad. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Look at these fucking shots Derek's landing. | ||
| Jesus, Roy, is tough. | ||
| Because Derek was beating the shit out of him. | ||
| This is as good as Derek's ever looked. | ||
| Like those combinations. | ||
| He looks more settled. | ||
| He's fucking calm. | ||
| Look at him, man, I'm telling you. | ||
| Calm. | ||
| We gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Imagine if he grabs the mic and says, forget it. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| He's not even breathing. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Derek has also had quite a few fights in the UFC now, and he's gotten, you know, more and more at home there, more and more comfortable with the experience. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Moves right out of the way of that right hand. | ||
| This is as good as he's ever looked, man. | ||
| I think he looks great. | ||
| Doesn't mean that he can't still get caught because Roy hits fucking hard, and Roy knows how to win. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's really weird. | ||
| Roy's been lingering for years, bro. | ||
| He's like a... | ||
| He don't go away. | ||
| Roy's a tank. | ||
| He really is a tank. | ||
| And he's a guy who probably should be fighting at 185. How about that? | ||
| You know, I mean, if he had the kind of discipline that some of these dudes have, like Dos Anjos, that cut way down. | ||
| But who knows, man? | ||
| Maybe part of why he's so good is because he's a small man. | ||
| Fighting as a heavyweight and can take unbelievable punches and kicks and hits really hard, but he's not like a physically big guy. | ||
| I mean, I guess he is in his weight because he's about 265, but if you got rid of all the body fat on him, how much do you think he'd weigh? | ||
| 230? | ||
| 220? | ||
| Like, quite honestly, if you put him in the same kind of condition that, say, like, Robbie Lawler's in, get him down to his optimal fighting weight. | ||
| What does he weigh? | ||
| 210? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, he's got lats. | ||
| Oh, he's a tank. | ||
| He's got lats, he's got traps. | ||
| So, it's just the stomach. | ||
| Yeah, well, all that stuff under that stuff is strong as shit. | ||
| Yeah, look at the legs. | ||
| Now, remember, when he loses that weight, those legs are going to be fucking savages because they've been holding up a house for the last fucking ten years. | ||
| So, yeah, he's halfway there. | ||
| If he just went on a diet... | ||
| He's never going to do that, though. | ||
| That's part of his flair. | ||
| That's just who he is. | ||
| I mean, it's amazing. | ||
| He's a world-class fighter, and he's built like a guy who works at a gas station. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| Roy knows I'm a big fan. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| He's tough as fuck, too. | ||
| Just tough as fuck. | ||
| He's one of them Allman Brothers motherfuckers, you know? | ||
| He's one of them Allman Brothers fighters. | ||
| They'll fucking come all night. | ||
| They'll brush over the bottle of Jack. | ||
| You bust their lip, they just put Jack on it and keep fighting. | ||
| Fuck Stitches. | ||
| He's had some spectacular knockouts in the UFC too. | ||
| We think of the guys he's KO'd. | ||
| Mitrione, Czech Congo. | ||
| He KO'd Czech Congo, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I want to say he did. | ||
| I know Frank Mir caught Congo and then put him away with a choke. | ||
| Am I confusing the two? | ||
| Oh, side control. | ||
| Oh shit, side control. | ||
| Not good for Derek. | ||
| He's unleashing those beers. | ||
| He did beat him? | ||
| Knocked him out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is terrible because this is two minutes to go in the round and Derek is not moving that much, which means Derek is probably starting to fade. | ||
| He blew his gas tank trying to put Roy away, I think. | ||
| We're seeing the same strategy play out That we saw with Joban and with Derek Lewis. | ||
| Went for it. | ||
| Sprinted. | ||
| Emptied that tank. | ||
| And worst situation for sure though for Lewis, man. | ||
| To be on the bottom. | ||
| Roy gets that fucking... | ||
| That mounted crucifix all the time. | ||
| That's what he's looking for. | ||
| He's going to punch Derek in the face until Derek gives him that right arm. | ||
| He's going to take that right arm, shove it in between his two legs. | ||
| And once he gets that arm in between his two legs, once he feels like he can open it, he's like trying to bait Derek. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Okay, now he's got his back. | ||
|
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|
Wow, Derek. | |
| Yeah, Derek ain't fucking around. | ||
| He ain't fucking around. | ||
| Back up to his feet. | ||
| That's strong. | ||
| That was a strong move. | ||
| That's impressive because Roy, bam, takes him right back down. | ||
| Roy's ground game is tight, but Roy doesn't like to take that back. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Bro, it's tough to take them back when you're a chubby dude. | ||
| That's what it is, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's tough. | ||
| Oh, he doesn't take people's backs because of his gut. | ||
| If you got him from a turtle, it works, and you lay on him and you pull him back, but nah, it's tough, man. | ||
| I guess it's sort of a fulcrum point, right? | ||
| Oh, shit, he took a hard elbow to the head by Derek in attempting that takedown. | ||
| Now he's back. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Okay, back to side control. | ||
| That's his shit. | ||
| That's his shit for MMA. He likes this. | ||
| This is how he stopped Kimbo Slice on the Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| He's gonna pin that fucking right arm in between his two legs. | ||
| He just doesn't want to lose the position again because he doesn't have much time here. | ||
| So he's probably just gonna try to beat him up from here. | ||
| He's smothering him with his gut. | ||
| I'm telling you, that pizza on the fucking head and garlic chips. | ||
| Oh, he hurt him. | ||
| Left hook. | ||
| Whoa, Jesus Christ. | ||
| See, he's tired. | ||
| Yeah, he's tired. | ||
| That's tough to have that guy. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
|
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|
He's like, God damn, that white dude stinks. | |
| God damn, he put his stomach on my goddamn face. | ||
| That's when he forced him to move. | ||
| He forced him to move when he was gut smothering him. | ||
| Roy Nelson with the powerful leg kick. | ||
| I'm just a big fan of Roy Nelson and what he stands for, you know? | ||
| That's as American as it gets. | ||
| No, I love him. | ||
| I love the beard. | ||
| Big crazy beard. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| The tits. | ||
| They look like my titties like that. | ||
| They're all fucked up to the side. | ||
| They sweat. | ||
| You get that titty sweat on you with that pretzel stomach sweat. | ||
| That shit's deadly, dog. | ||
| Pretzel stomach sweat. | ||
| You gotta smell my rash guard when I leave it. | ||
| I definitely don't. | ||
| I definitely don't. | ||
| It's time for a bonogram. | ||
| What's gonna happen here? | ||
| Give me a Joey Karate prediction. | ||
| Third round. | ||
| Joey Karate prediction. | ||
| Roy Nelson's getting a little bit of confidence. | ||
| He might take him down and do exactly what you said. | ||
| The fucking tomahawk with the legs. | ||
| That mountain crucifix. | ||
| If he can get him down. | ||
| Derek's taking some big deep breaths. | ||
| This is a high-paced fight. | ||
| Real high-paced fight. | ||
| When two guys start getting tired... | ||
| The guy with the greater wrestling is able to usually impose his wrestling game better than the guy with the pretty decent takedown defense, which is where I'd put Derek Lewis. | ||
| So they start making mistakes and they get really tired, and a guy with a lot of experience in grappling, like Roy, does a great job of forcing guys into bad positions when he takes them down. | ||
| So if he could push the pace now, he's got a much better chance at getting Lewis down than he did in the first or second round. | ||
| Because Lewis has to bargain, like, how much energy do I use to fight off this takedown? | ||
| He's punching him in the knee, and Derek complained. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's punching the inside of his leg. | ||
| You know, sometimes a guy will let the fight go to the ground because he just can't defend it anymore. | ||
| And then he wants to take a little break and then try to scramble. | ||
| But you can't afford to do that in the third round. | ||
| Especially if it gets any deeper here. | ||
| You're like four minutes in now. | ||
| Or four minutes to go. | ||
| So you know Derek's trying to pummel under. | ||
| He's going to fall into that guillotine. | ||
| Roy just has no fear of his guillotine. | ||
| And boom, he's down. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| And Roy's going to step over. | ||
| Okay, so now he's got 3 minutes and 30 seconds to work. | ||
| And one of the first things Roy's going to do, Roy doesn't fuck around. | ||
| Roy's going to establish a position and then he's going to move to half guard or move to side control. | ||
| He's going to establish some way to control his body, like head and arm control. | ||
| And then he does your standard shin and instep slice, pins down. | ||
| He's a Henzo Gracie black belt. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| In New York, that guy? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I mean, he trained with a lot of different people, but I'm pretty sure he got his black belt from Henzo. | ||
| Roy's super legit on the ground. | ||
| Watch, he's going to slice down. | ||
| He's just posturing up on him here. | ||
| He doesn't feel like Derek is moving his hips at all. | ||
| Derek is like an exploder. | ||
| He's like a wait for his moment and explode sort of a guy. | ||
| But he's eating some shots here with Roy on top of him. | ||
| If Roy can just keep him pinned down here like this with his head at that awkward angle, that's an awkward place to be, man. | ||
| He doesn't want it anymore, so he's gonna... | ||
| See? | ||
| It's like Derek, like, bides his time, waits for his energy levels to restore, and then just hulks his way standing. | ||
| I mean, for sure he's got technique. | ||
| The way he got up, that was all smooth and everything like that, but what I'm saying is, like, he's strong as fuck. | ||
| Put this fucking guy resting on you. | ||
| It takes its toll, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it does. | ||
| And Roy, believe me, is making that guy carry all of his weight. | ||
| Look at how much he's driving into him with his shoulders pinned against him. | ||
| Makes it harder for him to breathe. | ||
| He's got real good head control like Roy's. | ||
| Oh, he's got to be careful of those. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Yeah, he sacrifices a couple of those elbows to get him down. | ||
| This is not good for Derek. | ||
| He's definitely losing this round. | ||
| Back up to his feet again, man. | ||
| So impressive. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
| Roy is good at holding dudes down, man. | ||
| It just shows you how tough Lewis is and how strong he is. | ||
| But he just doesn't have... | ||
| It doesn't seem like he has the horsepower or the gas tank to sustain... | ||
| He can't get away from him. | ||
| He manages to get back up to his feet, but then he can't get away from him. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Big John McCarthy steps in for the fans. | ||
| Let's do this shit now. | ||
| This is UFC 200 weekend, baby. | ||
| Let's do this shit! | ||
| Roy just took a big-ass deep breath. | ||
| Wow, he's gonna kick him. | ||
| He's telegraphing that left kick. | ||
| Derek was giving that one away. | ||
| The best guys. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit. | |
| Get out of there. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Get out of there. | ||
| Oh Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Oh nice knee to the body. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| The clinch again. | ||
| And Derek just went, oh man. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| This motherfucker's on top of me. | ||
| More titty juice. | ||
| Getting this titty juice on me. | ||
| I can't even get this titty juice off me. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Just bang this out. | ||
| Smells like motherfucking hot dogs in this motherfucker. | ||
| Just wants to bang it out. | ||
| 20 seconds to go. | ||
| 20 seconds to go. | ||
| Does he get free? | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Left hand. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Goddamn Derrick Lewis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| But he don't give a fuck. | ||
| This fucking guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| A tooth just went out of sight. | ||
| Oh, he's hurt. | ||
| He's hurt. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at him. | |
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| That's white brilliance right there. | ||
| Did he just lose a tooth? | ||
| He lost something. | ||
| Mouth, pee, something. | ||
| Teeth. | ||
| He don't give a fuck, Jack. | ||
| Dude, he got cracked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Here's a right hand. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Oh, that was slobber. | ||
| That's a slobber knocker. | ||
| That's officially a slobber knocker. | ||
| Damn, Roy Nelson has a chin of the gods. | ||
| Look at his chin. | ||
| His chin is insane. | ||
| His ability to absorb punishment is just superhuman. | ||
| He's just giving the fight just for taking that punch and standing. | ||
| That just goes to show you how hard Mark Hunt hits. | ||
| Mark Hunt knocked him out. | ||
| He KO'd him with an uppercut and walked away. | ||
| That just shows you what a bad motherfucker Mark Hunt is. | ||
| Roy Nelson, man, takes a shot as good as any human being that's ever lived. | ||
| And for as long as he's been doing it. | ||
| I mean, he's been taking shots for a long fucking time and still has an iron jaw. | ||
| I mean, that was a perfect punch from a knockout artist that landed right on the tip of his chin, snapped his head back, and the dude survived. | ||
| It's a tank. | ||
| Who won that fight? | ||
| Roy. | ||
| Takedowns right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you look at it like who was closer to finishing the fight, it was the one round with Derek and then the third round with Derek. | ||
| Those exchanges were way more dangerous for Roy than anything that Roy did to him on the ground. | ||
| Because Roy never really established any good position for a long period of time. | ||
| He got the mount, but it was at the end of the round. | ||
| He got side control, and he was trying to get the mount and crucifix, and Derek kept getting up. | ||
| There wasn't a whole lot done on the ground other than some... | ||
| You know, decent ground and pound. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Split decision, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| First judge scores it for Lewis. | ||
| Second for Nelson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Derek Lewis. | |
| See? | ||
| Judges are starting to look at takedowns as being less important than damage done. | ||
| And if you want to go by damage done, you got the first round, a lot of damage done. | ||
| A lot of damage done by Lewis. | ||
| You got the second round, a lot of takedowns, right? | ||
| How many times did Roy take him down? | ||
| Three. | ||
| And then the third round, takedowns, but Derek hit him with some hard shots and had him in trouble. | ||
| Either way, man, what a fight. | ||
| See, this is one of the reasons why I hate, um, like, those, uh, the win and loss money. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Here it comes. | ||
| CRANK! Jesus Christ. | ||
| Who takes that shot? | ||
| Who fucking takes that shot? | ||
| What human being takes that shot? | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| Roy Nelson's jaw is fucking insane. | ||
| You would have to fly in specialists if he punched me like that. | ||
| Roy's going to go out dancing tonight, probably pick up some chewing tobacco on the way home. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| But anyway, what I was going to say is, sometimes I get bummed out that someone makes less money than that. | ||
| And a split decision, especially, I feel like split decision... | ||
| So many times, I don't agree. | ||
| So many times. | ||
| And the difference between like three people, three people's opinions, so it's really only two people's opinions against it, and that's going to cost you half of your money? | ||
| That seems so crazy. | ||
| That seems like that's something that shouldn't... | ||
| I feel like maybe there should be like different kinds of whim bonuses, or at the very least they should share something if it's like a split decision. | ||
| You know, I know the UFC privately bonuses a lot of people, but that's not even what I'm talking about. | ||
| I'm just talking about just the idea of a win. | ||
| I mean, everybody's trying to win, you know? | ||
| How much when they go to the show, they know they're getting a certain amount, right? | ||
| It's a private company. | ||
| First of all, obviously I work for them and I can't divulge things that I know that I'm not supposed to talk about, but it's a private company and they prefer to pay people non-publicly with a lot of the stuff they do. | ||
| I can't say much more than that because it's not my place, you know? | ||
| I'm obviously not a money person. | ||
| I don't pay attention to how the business side of shit of this especially works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's lots of different sports so that players will get fucked out of a contract. | |
| Like, I've known baseball players have... | ||
| Maybe their team wasn't going to make the playoffs, but that player's really good and he has performance bonuses built into his contract and at the end of the year, he needs to pitch one more inning or even one more out and they'll take him out of the game so they don't have to pay him a million dollars or some shit like that. | ||
|
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|
When players also feel like that guy deserves it because he worked all year for it. | |
| He did everything he was supposed to do. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And so the owner just says, ah, I'm not going to pay that money today. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked. | ||
| But I guess that's like we're talking about performance bonus money where baseball teams, Jamie was saying, will take a guy out if he needs to pitch like one more inning and he gets like a million dollar bonus. | ||
| They just bench him. | ||
| They just won't let him play so that they don't have to pay him that bonus, which totally makes sense. | ||
| I mean, especially if they're winning. | ||
| If they're ahead, they don't need him. | ||
| I mean, it all depends on, like, how... | ||
| It's happened in losing situations, too, though. | ||
| They're just playing the thing out for fans to watch a game, and they're just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And people, sometimes, they even know the situation. | |
| Like, this guy's going to make 500 Gs if he gets three hits today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're like, oh, he got two, and he's not going to play for the next four innings. | |
| You know what's crazy, Jamie? | ||
| The night before 9-11, I was at the fucking comedy store. | ||
| And Paul Mooney was on stage talking about Barry Bonds. | ||
| He was talking about how Barry Bonds, they weren't going to let that white boy break the record. | ||
| Remember, he was going up against a steroid guy. | ||
| I'll never forget, he kept saying that shit on stage. | ||
| They're never going to let that poor little black boy break that record and all this stuff. | ||
| The next day, I woke up to the planes hitting, and I'll never forget saying to myself, Jesus Christ, he was right! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| They're never going to let that Barry Bonds win the fucking batting title. | ||
| That's how much they went out of their fucking way for him not to... | ||
| Jamie, crank this up so I can hear what they're saying about Mark Hunt. | ||
| I'm so happy that Mark Hunt is the guy fighting Brock Lesnar. | ||
| ...to ever compete in the heavyweight division. | ||
| Mark Hunt is a top ten heavyweight contender, a guy who has beaten some of the best fighters in the world, and a guy who has absolutely legitimate one-punch knockout power. | ||
| He just fucking smokes people, man. | ||
| Mark Hunt just smokes people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit, I'm excited about this. | |
| I was more excited about Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones... | ||
| I was never excited about this fucking fight. | ||
| This fight? | ||
| Mark Hunt and Brock Lesnar? | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Ooh, I can't. | ||
| I hope Mark Hunt picks him up and throws his head out of the fucking ring. | ||
| That's what I give a fuck about. | ||
| Mark Hunt is pissed off, too. | ||
| He's fucking pissed off. | ||
| He's pissed off right now. | ||
| Yeah, he should be. | ||
| Let's see where the fuck this goes. | ||
| This is going to be a good fight. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I'm interested. | ||
| They got me. | ||
| I'm interested. | ||
| And the very few guys could be coming from pro wrestling... | ||
| You know, and having used to have fought in MMA and come back and get you excited like this guy. | ||
| I mean, he's a legit freak of the freaks. | ||
| I mean, look at the size of that motherfucker, dude. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| That was the fight we were talking about. | ||
| Yeah, it was Shane Carwin. | ||
| Look at how he beats the fuck out of Frank Mir here. | ||
| I mean, just smashed him. | ||
| He's a big boy. | ||
| That is the biggest you're ever going to see. | ||
| As far as legit super athletes in MMA that fight at 265 pounds. | ||
| Maybe some people don't know that. | ||
| For the heavyweight division, it's not unlimited weight. | ||
| Heavyweight division has a weight limit. | ||
| That limit is 265 pounds. | ||
| Everything above 265 pounds is super heavyweight. | ||
| And we don't have a super heavyweight division in the UFC. So if you're like a super giant guy like the Mountain, that Game of Thrones demon dude, that guy could not fight in the UFC. Can't make the weight. | ||
| That guy's way over 300 pounds, right? | ||
| He's enormous. | ||
| So if they ever wanted to do that super freak division, like they would have to open it up and then they would have to start having fights in there. | ||
| But I just don't know if there's enough 265 pound plus elite MMA athletes. | ||
| There would all be a bunch of fucking ex-linemen. | ||
| That would be a bunch of ex-linemen that walk around at 275. Let me ask you this. | ||
| The ex-linemen who are... | ||
| You know a lot about football. | ||
| So if a guy's like a fucking world-class lineman, some beast of a man, what would that guy have to... | ||
| How much would he have to lose to compete as an MMA fighter? | ||
| 20 pounds, maybe. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| If they're a lineman that's walking around at 295, he's got a tremendous footwork if he's an offensive line or a defensive lineman. | ||
| So half my work is done. | ||
| He's got strong fucking feet. | ||
| We gotta work on his striking. | ||
| His takedowns are... | ||
| Once you break the takedown to them... | ||
| So football, Chael Sonnen had beautiful takedowns. | ||
| Beautiful football style takedowns. | ||
| You went four feet. | ||
| Well, Chael Sonnen was an elite athlete. | ||
| Chael Sonnen had a beautiful takedown. | ||
| Very, very high level wrestler. | ||
| If you could teach somebody who's six foot six, 285 to take a motherfucker down like Chael. | ||
| Don't die. | ||
| Get done. | ||
| What's going on over here? | ||
| The eighth star of death gets stuck. | ||
| Who's this Bjorn... | ||
| Oh, this is the mountain guy. | ||
| Bjornsson. | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bjornsson. | |
| Bjornsson. | ||
| B-J-O-R-N-S-S-O-N. Bjornsson. | ||
| Six foot nine. | ||
| It weighs 403 pounds. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| After injuring his knee in basketball, he started competing in strongman competition. | ||
| He won Iceland's strongest man competition. | ||
| He came out sixth in the 2011 World Strongest Man contest. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a giant, giant dude. | ||
| Fucking A, man. | ||
| He bench presses 500 pounds and he weighs 400 pounds. | ||
| Somehow I think he's a pussy. | ||
| That's all you can do, bitch. | ||
| How much you bench, bro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw an NFL lineman talking about he could bench 600 pounds. | |
| He was talking shit to the guys in the room with him like, you ain't big like me. | ||
| You ain't got shit on me. | ||
| Mark Bell, you know the dude who's been on our podcast before and his brother Chris from Bigger, Stronger, Faster. | ||
| He just had some shit on his Instagram the other day where he's benching way over 500 pounds. | ||
| He's fucking gorilla strong. | ||
| That guy is huge. | ||
| Fucking huge. | ||
| And that's all he wants to do is just lift heavy shit. | ||
| He's got an awesome gym. | ||
| Created this product. | ||
|
unidentified
|
575, it says. | |
| Is that what he's lifting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Watch this shit. | ||
| What kind of product did he create? | ||
| He's got this thing called the slingshot, and it supports your elbows and your shoulders when you're benching. | ||
| It's actually a pretty interesting invention. | ||
| Look at the size of this motherfucker. | ||
| Look at how much weight he's pushing up. | ||
| That is insanity. | ||
| That's a quarter of a ton. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that wasn't him. | |
| That was his friend. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, there's one... | ||
| Oh, that's Big Steve. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Un-fucking-believable. | ||
| Yeah, I should know that's not him. | ||
| I can't tell. | ||
| You don't actually see his face until he gets up. | ||
| And then he all of a sudden marks a ginger. | ||
| But this video is of him. | ||
| I know on his Instagram of him lifting ungodly weights. | ||
| Still, all those big muscles, you've discussed it before. | ||
| You know, for jiu-jitsu and stuff, the endurance factors go out. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That super heavyweight division, they're going to be huffing and puffing in the third fucking round, especially if they come in there yoked to the gills. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder. | ||
| You know, I mean, there's very few heavyweights other than Cain Velasquez that can fight like a lighter weight fighter. | ||
| You know, Cain, in his prime in particular, had just this unbelievable endurance threshold. | ||
| He could just put paces on guys they just could not tolerate. | ||
| And you would watch it. | ||
| I'd watch it like ringside. | ||
| And I would try to think, have I ever seen a heavyweight that active that can keep it up for five rounds? | ||
| No. | ||
| The answer is no. | ||
| I've never seen anybody as fit as Kane was in his prime. | ||
| Like, no one has the kind of endurance that that guy has. | ||
| He'll be there again this weekend. | ||
| He'll be in that same condition. | ||
| He's 100% healthy. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| He had back surgery, man. | ||
| You never know what the fuck's going to happen to an athlete after back surgery. | ||
| Back surgery is very tricky. | ||
| They're pulling pieces of his discs out, you know, because his disc was impeding on his nerves. | ||
| Impinging, I guess. | ||
| And then he's also had shoulder surgery. | ||
| He's had knee surgery. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| I mean, no one's a bigger Cain Velasquez fan than me. | ||
| I personally think there's only two guys ever that you could put in contention for being the greatest of all time. | ||
| And that's Kane and Fedor. | ||
| Those are the only two. | ||
| Well, as far as heavyweights, those are the two... | ||
| Well, I guess you've got to argue for Doom. | ||
| Well, sort of, but... | ||
| Alistair, certainly a combat sports athlete. | ||
| I mean, he's one of the most decorated ever. | ||
| He won the K-1 Grand Prix, and he won Strikeforce and Dream. | ||
| So he was a heavyweight champion of three different organizations. | ||
| Just never could win, never has won, or even had a shot until this next upcoming fight. | ||
| Anderson Silva to fight Daniel Cormier at UFC 200. Is that true? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| TMZ Sports has confirmed. | ||
| He was bullshitting this afternoon Anderson Silva. | ||
| He put a flyer out with UFC 200 on this afternoon. | ||
| That is crazy if he does that. | ||
| Because let me tell you something. | ||
| Daniel Cormier is a very strong man. | ||
| And he's a powerful wrestler. | ||
| And Daniel Cormier was throwing dudes around at heavyweight. | ||
| And sometimes people forget what he did to Rumble Johnson. | ||
| Rumble Johnson hits as hard as any fucking light heavyweight he's ever walked the face of the planet. | ||
| He cracked Cormier on the button. | ||
| Cormier goes down, gets back up, weathers the storm, and starts ragdolling him. | ||
| Starts breaking him, takes him down, strangles him. | ||
| Just broke him and strangled him. | ||
| And Rumble's way bigger than Anderson. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And this is 40-year-old Anderson. | ||
| This is a very interesting fight that Anderson would want that. | ||
| Because if it was like the Anderson that just knocked out Forrest Griffin, I'd be like, oh shit, yeah, let's see that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because Anderson's two fights at light heavyweight, or three, Stephen Bonner was at light heavyweight too, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| I want to say it is. | ||
| I want to say that was a non-title affair. | ||
| Because I think that was a headliner in Brazil. | ||
| Find out what weight Anderson was when he fought Stefan Bonner. | ||
| 205. Was it 205? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Well, Bonner fought Jon Jones. | ||
| Bonner's always been a 205. He fought Jon Jones at 205, fought Forrest at 205. It had to be a 205. I'm just talking about my ass. | ||
| Bonner has never made 185, so what am I even saying? | ||
| What's in the other box? | ||
| But I'm interested. | ||
| Is that just a new product that you guys have? | ||
| No, this is just a lot of weed. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Want some weed? | |
| No, no. | ||
| Want a Panerae, though? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| How you feeling after those three things? | ||
| You know me, this is like an appetizer for Uncle Joey. | ||
| This is like going to fucking Ruth Chris with you and getting the clams. | ||
| I don't know how you do it. | ||
| I built it. | ||
| I work it. | ||
| I've been training. | ||
| I've been taking this breath spray recently. | ||
| How good is it? | ||
| How many milligrams? | ||
| It gets me so paranoid. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| There's something about the breath spray that just hits you with this burst of paranoia. | ||
| It's not the breath spray. | ||
| It's edibles. | ||
| Edibles fuck with you, man. | ||
| It's really potent edibles. | ||
| You start feeling... | ||
| There's a point on a plane where I get really good on an edible, but there's a point on a plane where my legs can't stop moving. | ||
| And that's the fucking worst. | ||
| That happens over a certain altitude with edibles. | ||
| My legs can't stop. | ||
| I got that crazy leg syndrome. | ||
| So with edibles, you can't fucking judge nothing. | ||
| These, at least I know, I take four or five of these, I see the devil, and I fall asleep early. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I fall asleep, I get up at four fucking cottonmouth, thirsty... | ||
| Don't you feel like those meet the devil moments are actually good for you? | ||
| Because even though you get all fucking crazy paranoid and weirded out and you feel vulnerable and strange, when it's over you appreciate life more. | ||
| It's almost like camping out in the forest for a few days and not having air conditioning and coming home and just having a nice cool glass of iced tea. | ||
| I sizzled after the first show in Philadelphia. | ||
| Sizzled? | ||
| As I was getting on stage, the edible hit me with a punch to the stomach. | ||
| That I thought I had to sit on. | ||
| When I walked out on stage, it was surreal. | ||
| And it kicked into the next level when I walked out. | ||
| Once the adrenaline met the THC, then I just ran with it, and it walked out, and it ended up perfect. | ||
| But Jesus Christ, you never know what you're putting in your body with those fucking things. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| You never fucking know. | ||
| Well, especially from new sources. | ||
| Did you see what I brought you, Jamie, from old school? | ||
| I brought you old school, Jamie, because that's how I roll. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| Joey Diaz, when are you going to commit to a fanny pack? | ||
| I got it. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| This is Datsura? | ||
| This is it, brother. | ||
| Datsusara? | ||
| My man Chris sent me the fanny pack. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| I got everything. | ||
| I got this reefer. | ||
| Joey Diaz has a fanny pack, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I got that reefer. | ||
| When are you going to get a fanny pack? | ||
| I got the thing. | ||
| I got the fucking lighter. | ||
| I got the fucking... | ||
| Look, I even got Quaaludes. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| I got one Quaalude left. | ||
| A Cosby Quaalude, a Gorilla Biscuit and shit. | ||
| That is a big fanny pack. | ||
| Yeah, this is the real deal. | ||
| Is that the big one? | ||
| He's had more than one size, right? | ||
| No, this is it, I think. | ||
| Is this the one he sells as the Joe Rogan Utility Pack or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| And this is hemp made, too, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's all hemp and everything. | ||
| Everything he makes is hemp. | ||
| He makes geese. | ||
| He makes really good geese, man. | ||
| This is the shit to fly with. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| This is how I fly this everything. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, it's easy. | ||
| And when you get off, you put it, you tuck it, you still keep your wallet in your front pocket, because those fucking, you know, those people fucking... | ||
| People. | ||
| Those people. | ||
| But, no, this is tremendous. | ||
| You got your keys, you got your rolling paper. | ||
| Chris is a good dude, too, man. | ||
| He's got a real good company. | ||
| He's coming next week. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| He's coming next week, but we're going to be in... | ||
| Oh, he's... | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| He's Friday night he's at the Ice House. | ||
| Okay, he's coming in for EBI. Oh, okay. | ||
| Are you at the Ice House next Friday night? | ||
| No, I'm not there for that, no. | ||
| So, here goes Dos Anjos about to get on stage. | ||
| Step into the octagon, looking shredded. | ||
| What do you think about this fight, Joey Diaz? | ||
| I know you've been wanting this fight for a long time. | ||
| You're an Alvarez fan, right? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I think this is a real barn burner of a fight. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I think this is heart against fucking tremendous skill. | ||
| I mean, this guy's got, like, he's a great decorated jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
| He's got, like, 19 stripes on his black belt. | ||
| This is the real deal, this fucking guy. | ||
| Yeah, Dos Anjos has a very good jiu-jitsu game, but he's also, his striking is, I mean, what he did to Cowboy Cerrone showed that his striking is fucking spooky as shit, too. | ||
| And what he did to Pettis was even scarier. | ||
| What he is, more than anything, man, is super serious and super focused. | ||
| That is a focused man. | ||
| So who's number one in this division? | ||
| Him, 100%. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He's the champion. | ||
| Khabib Nurmagomedov is definitely the number one contender. | ||
| And the biggest threat to him, because Nurmagomedov beat him, and he beat him pretty handily just a couple years ago. | ||
| And then Nurmagomedov had a series of injuries, had surgery on his knee, hurt it again, had a lot of shit happen. | ||
| He's still AKA? Yep, still AKA. Habib Nurmagomedov is a fucking nightmare. | ||
| Nightmare inside the octagon. | ||
| His grappling is so high level, man. | ||
| You see, and he's so ferocious in his approaches. | ||
| It's not, I mean, it's just, it's, he assaults you fast and hard, and when he gets a hold of you in a clinch, man, he's doing a lot of crazy shit. | ||
| He's tripping you, he's, he'll throw guys, he takes guys down with doubles, his grip is insane. | ||
| Like, he clamps a hold of guys, and you see when he's clamping a hold of them, they're like, whoa! | ||
| Like, he's just got this level of squeeze, and And this level of, like, physical strength and the understanding of how to manipulate bodies that's just at a super high level. | ||
| When he ragdolled Dos Anjos, that's when it really opened my eyes. | ||
| I was like, wow! | ||
| I did not expect that. | ||
| Like, I expected a good fight. | ||
| I expected a struggle. | ||
| But he did the same thing to Nate Diaz. | ||
| He beat the fuck out of Nate Diaz, man. | ||
| And when you watch the way he did it, you're like, wow! | ||
| This guy's a tank. | ||
| And, you know, again, Nick Kurson, trained athlete, and Kurson is of the belief that strength and conditioning is everything, man. | ||
| Now, where's Marinovich now? | ||
| Where's the old man Marinovich? | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| I mean, the last I heard of him working with fighters was BJ. He might have worked with other fighters that I don't know about, but he's a guy that I would love to sit down and talk to because he was a genius, man. | ||
| Super genius. | ||
| Jamie, where's Todd Marinovich now? | ||
| He's an artist now. | ||
| Stopped playing football. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a 30 for 30 on him, I think, and at the end of updating him. | |
| Did they talk about how the guy from the Raiders got him arrested? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't remember the whole thing. | |
| And put the coke in his sock so he would get the lower draft pick and he could steal them and shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, Al Davis is the real fucking deal. | ||
| I'm surprised Al Davis ain't Trump's running mate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fine. | |
| With the fucking wig, too? | ||
| He died a few years ago. | ||
| Did he really die? | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| He did die. | ||
| What the fuck am I thinking? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rafael... | |
| Yeah, to fucking draft you, he would do kinky shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, here's the question. | ||
| Should Bruce Buffer break out the Buffer 360 for UFC 200 when he introduces Brock Lesnar, especially now that Brock Lesnar is in the main event? | ||
| He's doing something completely different. | ||
| What's he gonna do? | ||
| Like, he went to training with a gymnast. | ||
| You know me, dog. | ||
| You know something? | ||
| I know things. | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| I can't say. | ||
| It's a surprise. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's doing like a pink type deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah? | |
| He always comes swinging off the fucking back, like that, like that. | ||
| On a cloth. | ||
| Dressed up like an angel. | ||
| Swing down on silks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| He's got two black eyes. | ||
| That's how hard he's been training. | ||
| He's coming into this fight beat up. | ||
| Eddie Alvarez has two black eyes, man. | ||
| I mean, he wasn't lying about sparring 150 rounds. | ||
| Very interesting, man, because Alvarez is the type of dude who rises to the occasion. | ||
| He's got greatness in him, man. | ||
| I mean, he's had some wins and some losses, nice inside leg kick. | ||
| But at the end of the day, this dude's a savage. | ||
| And the most exciting, biggest challenge is where he's going to fight his best. | ||
| And that's what we're looking at. | ||
| We're looking at Alvarez in the most dangerous situation he's been in in years. | ||
| And the most important. | ||
| That's where a guy like Eddie Alvarez will fucking come to life. | ||
| And that's what makes this exciting. | ||
| Dos Anjos has to be aware, man. | ||
| Alvarez is no fucking joke. | ||
| He's got to mind his P's and Q's as he makes his way in. | ||
| The difference is Dos Anjos throws a lot of kicks, man. | ||
| And Alvarez threw a couple nice inside leg kicks, but that's generally not what he does once he starts brawling. | ||
| Once he starts brawling, he'll widen his stance and throw bombs, whereas Dos Anjos will stick with the kickboxing game. | ||
| He'll stick kicking those legs and mixing things up. | ||
| It's just a matter of whose strategy works the best. | ||
| But I like that Alvarez came out with those kicks but he hasn't thrown very many since. | ||
| You know Joe Rogan What a weird gift to have To be a professional fighter 150 fucking 5 What a weird gift Yeah Jesus What a weird choice, you know? | ||
| Dangerous choice in life, man. | ||
| Crazy, just unbelievably difficult journey you're on. | ||
| Especially at this level. | ||
| I mean, look how good these guys are. | ||
| Dos Anjos just caught him at the end with that left hand. | ||
| And fatigue may very well play a factor in this fight. | ||
| Because one of the things, again, about Dos Anjos, not to harp on this, but his conditioning is exceptional. | ||
| What he did with Pettis in particular... | ||
| Uh-oh, guillotine. | ||
| Guillotine. | ||
| Eddie's in trouble. | ||
| This motherfucker's got to squeeze. | ||
| Eddie's got to fight those hands off. | ||
| He's got to fight those hands off. | ||
| Oh, nice knee on the break. | ||
| When you feel that clamp... | ||
| Those guys are the really good guillotine. | ||
| Like, you can see it when they clamp on to dudes. | ||
| You're like, whoa! | ||
| Like, um... | ||
| Hani Yaya, you ever see that guy fight? | ||
| Hani Yaya is this tiny gentleman. | ||
| I think he used to fight at 135, now he's 125, right? | ||
| Isn't Hani at 130? | ||
| He's either 135 or 125. He's not the biggest guy in the world. | ||
| Find out what weight he is. | ||
| I think he's a flyweight now. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| But anyway, it doesn't look like a bodybuilder or anything. | ||
| Oh, Del Sandoz caught him with that left high kick. | ||
| And that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Like, he can add in... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he almost slipped him! | |
| Del Sandoz has been in trouble! | ||
| Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| Jesus, oh, Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| He's gonna win! | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| This is fucking tremendous. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, he decked him again! | ||
| This is Hart against fucking Skill, Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fly in me! | |
| Nothing but fucking Hart. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| He went down like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| Side control. | ||
| Oh, Alvarez's back up. | ||
| Yeah, but he doesn't know where he is. | ||
| He doesn't. | ||
| Alvarez's back up and he takes him down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He doesn't know where he is. | |
| This is Hart against fucking Skill. | ||
| I'm telling you, cussuckers. | ||
| I've been waiting for this fucking fight for three fucking months. | ||
| This is what I'm talking about. | ||
| This is what the fucking problem is with UFC. Every once in a while, you run into a brick fucking wall. | ||
| This guy, Diaz, these people savages. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| You gotta kill this motherfucker. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's fucking over. | ||
| There's a new 155. Where's Conor McGregor now? | ||
| Where's Conor McGregor now? | ||
| This kid's Philadelphia, you dumb motherfuckers. | ||
| Eddie Alvarez. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy! | |
| I told you this was the fight of the fucking year, you fucking momos. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Stop with your bullshit, Brock Lesnar and Mark fucking Hunt. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| That's baby stuff compared to this. | ||
| God damn it, Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| This is the UFC. Goddamn, Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| I told you I was excited when you called me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the fucking fight of the year, cocksuckers! | |
| Holy shit, Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| Jesus, I got an anxiety attack. | ||
| He looks fantastic. | ||
| That's what I'm fucking talking about! | ||
| That was spectacular, man. | ||
| 150 rounds, Joe Rogan! | ||
| Fucking spectacular. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Look at that right hand landed. | ||
| There the legs go. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| Let's do that again. | ||
| Wham! | ||
| Oh, he snuck it in right over the guard. | ||
| Oh, we did the chicken dance. | ||
| I'll tell you what, Dos Anjos. | ||
| He weathered a fucking hell of a storm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, nothing for Dos Anjos. | |
| A fucking savage, too. | ||
| Conor McGregor, you better pack eight lunches if you want to fuck with these motherfuckers. | ||
| These motherfuckers. | ||
| I told you, this is the deck five. | ||
| Oh my god, Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| Look at these combinations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this shit! | |
| Woo! | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me, America? | ||
| Fuck you and your dumb fights, Mark Hunter. | ||
| This is what the fucking fight of the year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This was it, Joe Rogan. | ||
| This is boy Mark Henry. | ||
| That guy is one of the best coaches in MMA today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A fucking pizza dude from New Jersey. | |
| Suck my dick, you fuck. | ||
| With your fucking machines and your bullshit. | ||
| A pizza fucking dude. | ||
| Suck my dick. | ||
| And his other client was Frankie Edgar. | ||
| Nothing but heart. | ||
| They show up with nothing but heart. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And I'm a big fan of Henry's. | ||
| Big fan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking tremendous! | |
| Winner by TKO. And new. | ||
| 150. Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| This just throws a tremendous wrench into everything now. | ||
| Well, you know what else it does? | ||
| It lets everybody know how fucking goddamn good Michael Chandler is. | ||
| And I told you on the phone, Joe Rogan. | ||
| He came in, he looked through bots the first fight, Gilbert, the other guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy's a slow fucking starter. | |
| It's over now. | ||
| It's over now. | ||
| Well, the first fight, a lot of pressure, first of all. | ||
| You know, first fight in the UFC, his career's on the line, you know, leaves Bellator as a champion. | ||
| But it shows you how good... | ||
| Do you see how good Michael Chandler looked in his last fight? | ||
| These two had wars over in Bellator. | ||
| Wars. | ||
| And Chandler just knocked out Pitbull in the first round. | ||
| Damn, Eddie Alvarez looked good. | ||
| That looked fucking tremendous. | ||
| I got an anxiety attack, Joe Rogan. | ||
| What we're saying, Eddie Alvarez is the kind of guy that rises to the occasion. | ||
| This is the shit that we've forgotten. | ||
| You see tattoos on him or a goatee? | ||
| Yeah, he's got tattoos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got his name tattooed on his back. | |
| He's fucking all heart, this motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All fucking heart! | |
| He's an animal, man. | ||
| He hits hard, dude. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Dos Anjos took some bombs too. | ||
| No, Dos Anjos. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Anybody else would have went down by now. | ||
| 20 guys would have went down by now. | ||
| Fucking Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| He's just thanking all the people who trained him. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's a great guy, man. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| And great for the sport too. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Great for the sport. | ||
| Really likable guy. | ||
| Really marketable guy. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Good for him, man. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Dos Anjos, he'll be back. | ||
| Now it sets up some interesting fights. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| Now you got Dos Anjos at the right. | ||
| This throws a monkey wrench into everything. | ||
| But you ain't beating this kid. | ||
| You ain't beating this kid for the next two or three fights. | ||
| Alvarez? | ||
| Yeah, you ain't beating him. | ||
| This kid's a fucking Philadelphia guy. | ||
| He's been eating pizza for 20 years. | ||
| He's done. | ||
| You're going to give him lobster tail. | ||
| You're done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lights out, bitch. | |
| Lights out, bitch. | ||
| I wonder if Nurmagomedov gets a shot at him next. | ||
| I wonder if that's what they set up. | ||
| You know, it's hard to deny Nurmagomedov his shot. | ||
| He's undefeated. | ||
| And he's the number one contender. | ||
| Look at this Joe Rogan. | ||
| This is beautiful. | ||
| What a beautiful right hand. | ||
| He snuck it in there, man. | ||
| And he saw him do that chicken dance. | ||
| That's crazy that he didn't go down, man. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| And you count the punches he got hit with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, bombs, too. | |
| This is fucking Carlos Condon Jr. He got hit with bombs. | ||
| He's just teeing off on them. | ||
| Herb Dean, best in the business right there. | ||
| He just looks at it. | ||
| He's like, yep, I've seen enough. | ||
| I've seen enough. | ||
| And I totally agree. | ||
| Perfect time to stop it. | ||
| Herb Dean's the best. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| Look, you're breathing heavy. | ||
| Jesus, you okay with that? | ||
| I was getting anxiety, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Just because you get worked out? | ||
| I love this shit. | ||
| This is my life, bro. | ||
| I love... | ||
| Heart is my business. | ||
| I sell heart, dog. | ||
| This is heart. | ||
| That was heart. | ||
| That's heart, dog. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| You hang out with your boys and drink non-gluten. | ||
| And eat cheese and shit. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| You know. | ||
| Look at this tomorrow, man. | ||
| Look at the prelims. | ||
| Just the prelims. | ||
| Kat Zingano and Juliana Pena, Johnny Hendrix and Kelvin Gastelum, TJ Dillashaw, Rafael Asuncao, and Sage Northcutt and Enrique Merrill. | ||
| And there ain't a dime on that card, Jamie. | ||
| Look at the fucking Johnny Hendrix Gastelum. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is that even money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all pretty much even. | ||
| Frankie Edgar's even now. | ||
| There ain't a dime on this card. | ||
| If you're looking to make a dime, you better fucking bet baseball this weekend. | ||
| I gotta look at the Friday early card. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at the main. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| I can't make a dollar on this. | ||
| I gotta bet Travis Brown as an underdog. | ||
| Misha Tate is now the main fight. | ||
| That's the main fight now. | ||
| That's the headliner fight. | ||
| Misha Tate and Amanda Nunes. | ||
| Very interesting. | ||
| Look at this, Joe Rogan. | ||
| TJ Dillashaw, minus 410. I can't make a dime. | ||
| But look at that card. | ||
| That seems like they decided to have Misha versus Amanda Nunes over Brock Lesnar versus... | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so they switched that up. | ||
| Because just before that, we were just looking at it, it was the opposite. | ||
| Somebody made an executive decision. | ||
| Well, they look at it and bet it. | ||
| They saw her with a bikini on. | ||
| That's probably what it is. | ||
| And they said, fuck this shit. | ||
| That's probably what it is. | ||
| She should beat him in that. | ||
| Well, she might be the best one to sell this card. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also, from a hardcore fan standpoint, you gotta go, how the fuck is Aldo and Edgar for the title not... | ||
| Even talked about. | ||
| I mean, it's an interim title. | ||
| It is an interim belt, right? | ||
| I mean, that's what's going on. | ||
| Yeah, interim featherweight title. | ||
| But it is for the belt. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Obviously, Conor McGregor is going to have a hard fucking time making 145 again. | ||
| I mean, I guess he could do it, but how much more is he going to do that? | ||
| Not after he saw this tonight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 155 is going to be Hell's Kitchen, though. | ||
| You don't think he's going to want to fight these guys? | ||
| Would you? | ||
| Yeah, Conor wants to fight those guys. | ||
| That's where all the money is. | ||
| Let me explain something to you. | ||
| That kid, not only can he throw punches, but that kid could wrestle, too. | ||
| Yeah, Alvarez is a very good wrestler. | ||
| That's how he beat Pettis. | ||
| It's all over down there. | ||
| No muss. | ||
| He's got to come home now and kill Diaz because what he's turning his back to is the fucking hell's dead. | ||
| It's the original room on a Tuesday. | ||
| There's six people there. | ||
| There's six people there. | ||
| You got those two savages at 145, and now you got this fucking Philadelphia kid. | ||
| You got the Brazilian. | ||
| You got the fucking Russian. | ||
| Who else is at 155 lingering now? | ||
| That Max Holloway kid, right? | ||
| No, he's 45. Well, those kids, the other kid that you talked about that stayed at 150, Dustin Poirier, whatever. | ||
| Dustin Poirier, yeah. | ||
| You got a Hell's Kitchen down there now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the UFC just got... | ||
| It's a tremendous weight class. | ||
| Damn, Alvarez was throwing bombs. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I told that being... | ||
| Did you count these, Jamie? | ||
| Wait till you count these. | ||
| He got hit fucking hard a bunch of times. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| I mean, full wind-ups. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Significant strikes, 57. Fifty-fucking-seven. | |
| He landed 57. Look at that, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Oh, and you got Okokui! | ||
| Look at that, total strikes and significant strikes. | ||
| All of his strikes were significant. | ||
| Michael Chiesa is number 10. Look at that murderous row. | ||
| What were you saying, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That might not be perfectly updated, but... | |
| What, the amount of strikes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just because they're both the same. | |
| Yeah, but that means you just hit them every time hard. | ||
| Significant strikes and strikes, they could be the same thing. | ||
| The fight before with Roy Nelson and Lewis, and the stats on screen were different from the stats on here. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all I'm saying. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Look at this, Joe Rogan. | ||
| So it might not be updated? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're showing you're right. | ||
| They already were setting this up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nurmagomedov is a beast, man. | ||
| Well, I mean, he's been the number one contender for a long time, and he's very skillful, man. | ||
| Very skillful. | ||
| Very strong. | ||
| If he can get through camp and be healthy. | ||
| But that's a significant if, because he's pulled out a couple times now and had some pretty significant injuries. | ||
| No one's a bigger fan of that dude than me. | ||
| I think he's one of the biggest puzzles, one of the most difficult puzzles to solve in the division. | ||
| He was supposed to fight Tony, but they had to postpone that fight. | ||
| So it would be... | ||
| I was one of the best fights I've ever seen. | ||
| Yeah, Tony had to pull out due to an injury, right? | ||
| Tony had injured. | ||
| Lung infection or blood flots or something. | ||
| And that's when that young man who, what was his name, who just fought Nurmagomedov? | ||
| A young guy who took the fight on real short notice. | ||
| And this motherfucker had just gotten like surgery on his elbow like six weeks ago or some crazy shit. | ||
| It might have been less than that. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Darryl Horcher? | |
| Yeah, Darryl Horcher. | ||
| That guy's a stud. | ||
| Took that fight against Nurmagomedov. | ||
| Nobody wanted that fight. | ||
| Took that fight on short notice and fought well. | ||
| Fought real well. | ||
| Especially for a guy who just really didn't have any time to prepare for it. | ||
| But I think that Nurmagomedov needed that fight too. | ||
| He needed a fight against a guy that may not, you know, first fight in the UFC. Might not have been... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to sneeze. | |
| Excuse me. | ||
| Might not have been as well prepared. | ||
| You know, I think that Nurmagomedov probably needed to knock the dust off a little bit. | ||
| He's out for two years. | ||
| Two years with injuries, man. | ||
| That's just crazy. | ||
| A lot of shit wrong. | ||
| Then the knee got hurt again. | ||
| Yep, same knee got hurt twice. | ||
| Yeah, I think he might have rushed his comeback. | ||
| Sometimes guys do that. | ||
| A lot of guys have done that. | ||
| They hurt their knee, and then in the process of rehabbing it, Ed Shortfuse Herman did that, hurt it, was rehabbing it, started training again, blew it out again. | ||
| A couple guys have had that happen. | ||
| I'm still overwhelmed by that fight. | ||
| I'm still overwhelmed. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not kidding you. | |
| My head can't even wrap my head. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Incredible. | |
| I had a funny fucking feeling, too. | ||
| I was like, you know what, man? | ||
| This is the battle right here. | ||
| This is going to be a great fucking fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| We weren't in fucking Vegas to bet it, so who gives a fuck, Jamie? | ||
| And if we were? | ||
| I would have bet it. | ||
| You would have bet on Eddie? | ||
| Yeah, just a yardstick just to watch the fucking fight. | ||
| You gotta give the kid the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| That's one of the greatest lines in any movie, when the loan shark gives Rocky 500, and he goes, you don't have to pay me back. | ||
| I think Lady Luck is in your corner. | ||
| I kept hearing that all fucking week. | ||
| Lady Luck is in that kid's fucking corner, man. | ||
| I love all that shit. | ||
| That's... | ||
| How much of an underdog was he? | ||
| Not much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Two and a half to one. | |
| That's it? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| There's no dough. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I would have thrown a yardstick just to watch and have a soda and smoke a joint. | ||
| There's no dough this weekend. | ||
| Vegas took such a bath on Nate Diaz that now they've tightened their lines on fucking Vegas. | ||
| When Nate Diaz did that, they paid out hundreds of thousands. | ||
| And they said, fuck it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| No more mistakes with this. | ||
| They got Ariel Aguani. | ||
| They got everybody in on it. | ||
| They're helping out with the lines now. | ||
| There's no more mistakes. | ||
| For a long time, you see weak lines. | ||
| You know, you want to bet football and make money? | ||
| If you lose in September, you're a fucking loser. | ||
| If you bet basketball, the first three weeks in November, you're going to win. | ||
| The lines are weak. | ||
| You know, home, the Knicks home on a Tuesday night, they're giving three. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| They're going to run away with, you know, shit like that. | ||
| That's common sense shit. | ||
| But then they tighten their shit up come December. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same thing happened. | ||
| You know, when I first used to go to UFC years ago, just in my thought, Not even what you would say to me. | ||
| I would win money. | ||
| Then the first fight I ever bet was Shawn Shirk against Frankie. | ||
| I was just sick and tired of going, I could have made money this weekend. | ||
| Because the Lions were dog shit. | ||
| You would talk to me on the plane about generalities, and I'd watch generalities, and I was a fucking dummy, and I'd put it together. | ||
| Can you imagine somebody who knew the game, like somebody who was a fighter? | ||
| You could have killed Vegas early. | ||
| Now, I think after Diaz, whatever, because I always look. | ||
| I always look. | ||
| It's in my blood. | ||
| I got to look. | ||
| But after Diaz, there's no more mistakes. | ||
| And then they used to have a lot of mistakes on the undercards. | ||
| Because listen, you're going to gamble to make money. | ||
| If you want to be Houdini, you might as well go get your Pomerate. | ||
| That's not gambling. | ||
| Gambling is to make money and to put your percentages higher to make a fucking living. | ||
| So it doesn't matter what I bet. | ||
| Well, I had Ronda. | ||
| It doesn't really fucking matter if you had Holly Holm. | ||
| Because some idiot in Tennessee... | ||
| Bet $200,000 on the opening fight that nobody looked at. | ||
| Because he knew that the fucking... | ||
| There's been some times where we brought in guys where I would look at the line and I'd know who they were. | ||
| And I'd know how good they were. | ||
| And I'd be like, this line's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they don't know. | ||
| There's been a few times. | ||
| Nobody really knows. | ||
| But you also have a thing in the UFC called... | ||
| First-time jitters, the crowd grows, so you don't really know how to judge it. | ||
| There's some guys you know won't get first-round jitters. | ||
| There's a certain level of guy that operates at such a professional level that they pretty much always operate at that level. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You can kind of guess when guys won't get UFC jitters. | ||
| It's real weird, man. | ||
| I can't guess. | ||
| You're that good. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I don't know where they're coming from or what organization. | ||
| There's only a few guys who haven't gotten it. | ||
| And I haven't really followed them, so... | ||
| Aleister didn't get UFC jitters at all. | ||
| At all. | ||
| And when he came to the UFC, it was when, you know... | ||
| Drug testing was a little bit different. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But you watched that Brock fight. | ||
| Oh, he fucking, he just kicked him right in the fucking side. | ||
| Not only that, that was his first fight in the UFC. So everybody's waiting to see him. | ||
| And I've been waiting to see him forever. | ||
| So, you know, I'm a big kickboxing fan. | ||
| And he was the K-1 Grand Prix champion. | ||
| I watched his kickboxing matches with Badr Hari and Gokhan Saki. | ||
| I mean, he's a world-class kickboxer. | ||
| So I was like, if this guy can keep people off him, there's a lot of people that are fucked. | ||
| You're going to see some stupid high-level striking. | ||
| I mean, his striking is very clean, man. | ||
| Real dangerous. | ||
| Especially when he was jacked. | ||
| When he was super uber-eam. | ||
| He's one of those guys, man. | ||
| When I saw him fight in the UFC, I'm like, this guy's not going to have first-round jitters. | ||
| He's not going to have first-fight jitters. | ||
| He's just fought too many times. | ||
| He's fought in Pride. | ||
| He's fought in Dreams. | ||
| He's fought in K1. He was a Strikeforce heavyweight champion. | ||
| He was a dream heavyweight champion. | ||
| He's not going to get rattled. | ||
| That was his first right, Brock? | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| I mean, he might lose. | ||
| He just came in and went for that fucking stomach. | ||
| Played that fight. | ||
| Kneed him. | ||
| Pulled that fight up. | ||
| Kicked him or something. | ||
| Yeah, find the Brock Lesnar All-Star Overeem fight. | ||
| I just want to look at Overeem's body real quick. | ||
| Because when that guy, it's on Fight Pass, right? | ||
| Yeah, you can find it on Fight Pass, I'm sure. | ||
| The stream has ended. | ||
| Thank you for watching. | ||
| Goddamn Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| You fucking savage. | ||
| Is there a... | ||
| You know what we gotta get, dude? | ||
| We gotta get the new Apple TV. Because this old Apple TV is dog shit compared to the new one. | ||
| The new one's badass. | ||
| And you really like that watch down on Twitter the other day with Redman? | ||
| Redman. | ||
| I wouldn't buy it, but Redman has it. | ||
| It is dope. | ||
| How much is it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Which one was it? | ||
| Apple Watch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's USD. Oh. | |
| You... | ||
| Boy. | ||
| It's after 100. Brock vs. | ||
| Overeem. | ||
| I wouldn't say it was more than one. | ||
| 141. There it is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Six foot five, 256 versus six foot three, 265. Let me tell you something. | ||
| They both weighed 265 because I remember them weighing in. | ||
| I don't think Alistair weighed a hair under like 260. They're both like the same weight. | ||
| I think. | ||
| God, it's hard to remember. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| This thing is whack-a-dicious. | ||
| The new one, you can kind of... | ||
| Okay, I'll do it. | ||
| The new one, you swipe your finger across. | ||
| You can pick a point. | ||
| It's got like a swipe pad on it. | ||
| Just like your keypad on your laptop. | ||
| Is that kind of thing? | ||
| The new one's dope. | ||
| And you can talk into it, Joey Diaz. | ||
| What? | ||
| You can talk into your Apple TV remote. | ||
| And tell it what? | ||
| Tell it what you want to watch. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| What was that movie that you were in? | ||
| The what that saved Christmas? | ||
| The dog that saved Christmas. | ||
| By the way, I told you before, I'll tell you again, my kids love that fucking movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still? | |
| They love it. | ||
| They still watch it? | ||
| They love it. | ||
| Especially the six-year-old. | ||
| There's like eight of them. | ||
| There's like eight of those fucking movies. | ||
| Well, they love that you... | ||
| That's Joey! | ||
| Joey's been over here! | ||
| They love it. | ||
| They love seeing you on TV. They laugh. | ||
| They think it's so funny. | ||
| Those are fun movies, man. | ||
| I don't remember what my point was. | ||
| What was I going to say? | ||
| You could pull them up with your voice on Apple TV. Oh, so I could say, The Dog to Save Christmas. | ||
| I'd say it into the remote, and it would find it. | ||
| Finds it. | ||
| Just shows up on the screen. | ||
| And you're like, yep, that's it. | ||
| You talk to the thing. | ||
| Yeah, you talk to it. | ||
| It does searches. | ||
| We're living in the goddamn future, Joey Diaz. | ||
| So, strange, strange time to be alive. | ||
| So we're fast-forwarding this thing until we get to the Brock Lesnar, Alistair Overeem slugfest. | ||
| So, like, that's a guy that I didn't think was going to... | ||
| I have a hard time competing in the UFC. Tim Kennedy, that's another one. | ||
| When he came over to the UFC, I'm like, people have been shooting at him in Afghanistan for years. | ||
| He's not going to get rattled coming into the UFC. He was fine. | ||
| Luke Rockhold, same thing. | ||
| There's like a bunch of guys where you just knew they were going to be fine. | ||
| Lorenz Larkin, he's another one. | ||
| Robbie Lawler. | ||
| When he came back to the UFC, he's not going to get rattled at all. | ||
| Robbie Lawler is as savage as they come. | ||
| That dude. | ||
| There's, like, no purer expression of, like, primal combat than, like, his fights with Johnny Hendrix, the second fight in particular, and his fight with Rory McDonald. | ||
| Just blood and guts. | ||
| And his Carlos Condit fight. | ||
| Both of those guys, just blood and guts. | ||
| Like, fuck. | ||
| What do we got here? | ||
| Let's see where we're at here. | ||
| 231 and 27 seconds in here. | ||
| Is our internet still dogshit, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Has it gotten any better? | |
| What fight is this? | ||
| This is a long-ass time ago. | ||
| It doesn't seem like it is. | ||
| 141, but this is 60 UFCs ago. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Manning Gamburian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta move this up a little bit here. | |
| So, Joey Diaz, where are you doing your special? | ||
| Chicago. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Rosemont Zanis. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Blue collar like a motherfucker. | ||
| Like a motherfucker. | ||
| After my surgery, I start full-time training. | ||
| Only hour sets. | ||
| You know, I'm gonna go fucking commando here. | ||
| Damn, Joey Diaz. | ||
| I gotta go GSP here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| I gotta take him back to the roots. | ||
| I gotta coach. | ||
| I got everything. | ||
| Old school. | ||
| You got a comedy coach? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's your comedy coach? | ||
| Red Fox. | ||
| How's he helping you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| From the grave? | ||
| From the grave. | ||
| Like he talked to Eddie Griffin in the bathroom at the comedy store. | ||
| I'm going to summons him to my fucking house with some chickens. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Something. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I'll never forget that horrible fucking scene. | ||
| Even though the movie was... | ||
| That movie was ridiculous. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| I love movies like that. | ||
| Foolish ways. | ||
| That's my personal roadhouse, brother. | ||
| Remember his name was Foolish Ways? | ||
| Foolish, yeah. | ||
| The green light, the red light, it was different. | ||
| Whatever, something with the light. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| You thought I forgot this shit, did you? | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| That was a Master P production. | ||
| Oh, look at Nate Diaz. | ||
| He looks like a young boy here. | ||
| Nate Diaz, winner by unanimous decision. | ||
| He looks so young. | ||
| So now Overeem is standing in the cage. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| They're showing Nate Diaz backstage while Overeem is fighting, about to fight Brock Lesnar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't understand what's going on here. - A fighter his entire life, but his biggest fight has been with his health the last few years. | |
| - Oh, oh, oh, okay. | ||
| The Brock Lesnar fight. | ||
| I fast-forwarded through it. | ||
| Whoopsies. | ||
| So, um, are you self-producing this thing? | ||
| No, this is New Wave. | ||
| Uh, who's, which is, uh, what's New Wave? | ||
| They did all those specials. | ||
| They did a bunch of specials. | ||
| They did Tom Segura's. | ||
| Um, this doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I feel like the Manny Gamburian fight, they might have showed it afterwards. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Maybe it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it was. | ||
| Yeah, it must be. | ||
| The Manny Gambarian fight must have been a fight that they showed after the main event because the main event happened quick. | ||
| Because there's two minutes left. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, we always do that. | ||
| Which is actually kind of cool. | ||
| You get to see some of the prelims, some of the excellent prelim fights. | ||
| Alright, so we're going to take this back to two hours in. | ||
| That's probably when the fight took place. | ||
| So they did Tom Segura's too? | ||
| Is that what you said? | ||
| Yeah, they did a bunch of people. | ||
| They did Ali Wong. | ||
| I heard Ali Wong at the comedy store the other night. | ||
| She was fucking hilarious. | ||
| Dog, she's always hilarious. | ||
| She's hilarious. | ||
| And when she was pregnant up there, when she was ready to bust. | ||
| She did her special when she was pregnant. | ||
| Dog, she was killing me one night. | ||
| On a Sunday night, I went down there. | ||
| And she went up like two before me. | ||
| I went in the backstone to the gills. | ||
| And she said some shit that my fucking jaw dropped. | ||
| I couldn't stop laughing. | ||
| It's her delivery, her voice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's got that shit down to a science man. | ||
| She's very good. | ||
| Look at the size of that motherfucker back then. | ||
| God damn, Uberine. | ||
| It was ridiculously big back then. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| So you're fucking eating. | ||
| You're shooting. | ||
| You're eating edible. | ||
| What are you doing to get that big dog? | ||
| Him? | ||
| Yeah, you're doing jeans. | ||
| It's his jeans. | ||
| A big part of it is his jeans. | ||
| You're doing t-ball. | ||
| You're doing fucking... | ||
| You're doing viking cum. | ||
| That's what you're doing. | ||
| You're eating fucking annaval. | ||
| You're eating fucking 16 eggs for breakfast. | ||
| But all that stuff is not going to give you that bone structure. | ||
| That bone structure is insane. | ||
| I mean, he's built like a fucking shaved down gorilla. | ||
| There's no one built like that guy. | ||
| I mean, that is one of the biggest athletes you're ever going to see in the heavyweight division. | ||
| Both of these guys. | ||
| Yeah, both of these guys. | ||
| Both of these guys. | ||
| Now, this is pre-Uber? | ||
| This is Uber. | ||
| This is Uber-ing. | ||
| This is, when you look at the size of him, he's fucking jack-mified here. | ||
| Watch when they... | ||
| He's got lean muscle, man. | ||
| 263. There it goes. | ||
| Alistair weighed 263. Brock weighed 266. That's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's so heavy. | ||
| He's got to cut weight to make 266, too. | ||
| It's like, whoa, Brock fucking made it. | ||
| Yeah, he's way bigger than 266. He's huge. | ||
| He probably weighs 280. 285? | ||
| I bet he cuts... | ||
| I wouldn't... | ||
| Be surprised if at some point in time he cut as much as 20 pounds. | ||
| Those guys get that big and they've been playing football all their life. | ||
| They just developed this wild quickness, Joe. | ||
| They don't play baseball growing up. | ||
| They throw that fucking thing at track and Well, have you ever seen his combine numbers? | ||
| No. | ||
| They're ridiculous. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Oh, they're crazy. | ||
| Brock Lesnar? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's an elite athlete. | ||
| Like his vertical leap, long jump, amount of times he can bench press, 225 pounds, it's like 50 or something ridiculous. | ||
| He's one of those guys. | ||
| He's a freak. | ||
| I mean, yeah, let's see what his combine numbers are. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He did a 40 in 4'7". | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| He's got a 10-foot standing broad jump, 35-inch vertical leap. | ||
| And his bench and squat numbers are ridiculous. | ||
| Jamie, what was Canseco's 40? | ||
| He did a 225 30 times. | ||
| Say that again? | ||
| 30 times he benched 225. Jesus Christ. | ||
| 30 times. | ||
| If he did a 4'7", what did Canseco do that year? | ||
| Yeah, Canseco was like fucking 4'4". | ||
| Really? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| That's 40 bases. | ||
| That's something at that size? | ||
| You can't do that shit. | ||
| You gotta write 40, Jamie. | ||
| Just beating the 40. You don't think he ran it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They had it. | ||
| It says he claimed a 3.9, but that's not real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he claimed. | |
| He claimed a lot of things. | ||
| He claimed it. | ||
| He claimed it. | ||
| Well, listen, bro. | ||
| He's a serious athlete. | ||
| Look at the 40-40 club, okay? | ||
| Just hit that. | ||
| That's what tells you how many people in the 40-40 club. | ||
| You know, there's not a lot of people in that, Joe. | ||
| He was that fast. | ||
| Look at that, Jose Canseco. | ||
| This is what I'm telling you, that to get that, you have to be fast. | ||
| And three of those people were accused of certain things. | ||
| Yeah, all of them probably did it. | ||
| I don't know if Alfonso Soriano, but in all of baseball, there's only been four 40s. | ||
| Here we go, look at this. | ||
| Look at the size of that motherfucker. | ||
| And again, this is like... | ||
| I don't even think it was a year after Brock Lesnar had some serious surgery in his stomach. | ||
| They removed like 12 inches of his colon. | ||
| Well, it's not just the size of Alistair, but Alistair is highly skillful as a striker, and just as big as Brock. | ||
| So he's got the horsepower to keep him off of him, and his striking is just fucking elite. | ||
| And so all he has to do is take his time, stay on the outside like he's doing right now, wait for those openings, And then when he finds him, make the most out of him. | ||
| And you see that? | ||
| He just slips away from that jab. | ||
| Like, you ain't gonna hit him that easy. | ||
| He's gonna hang on the outside. | ||
| He's not gonna charge at you. | ||
| Look at that nice counter right hand. | ||
| Sees him coming. | ||
| Counters. | ||
| Super dangerous to strike with this guy. | ||
| He's so clever. | ||
| Because he's had some knockout losses. | ||
| He's a human being. | ||
| If a guy like Ben Rothwell catches him, he's going to go out. | ||
| Everybody goes out. | ||
| But when you watch him knock out Junior Dos Santos and you see how he set that up, caught him with that left uppercut, you realize how goddamn good he is. | ||
| He's sneaky. | ||
| Who did Alistair just beat? | ||
| Was Dos Santos his last fight? | ||
| I feel like it wasn't. | ||
| No, me neither. | ||
| I don't think it wasn't Not need the body boom fucking the Peter I'll go you I lost I thank you the power to the body he He stopped Orlovsky, right? | ||
| Yeah Once they need him, look at Brock Lesnar's face. | ||
| He goes, this motherfucker's going right for the breadbasket. | ||
| He fucked him up. | ||
| These body shots are so powerful. | ||
| His technique, like with his Muay Thai, his knees to the body in particular, they're so devastating. | ||
| He's like one of the best ever in the heavyweight division for throwing knees to the body. | ||
| Yeah, that kick sent him right back to the WWE, bro. | ||
| It's the left kick. | ||
| Watch how he slips this left kick. | ||
| It's just fucking... | ||
| You could see it on his face as he was going down. | ||
| Fuck this shit. | ||
| I'm going back to rehearsal. | ||
| He sets up this switch kick to the body right here. | ||
| There's a moment where Brock is throwing the right hand and Alistair slips the left kick underneath it. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Look at that knee. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| No, that ain't even it, though. | ||
| That's not it, but that was it. | ||
| Here comes the kick. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It was over. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| It was that kick. | ||
| That left power kick. | ||
| Back up. | ||
| Oh, I got the phone. | ||
| That left power kick is a thing of beauty, man. | ||
| But you know what, Joe, he heard him way before that. | ||
| You could see it on Brock's face, bro. | ||
| No, he certainly did. | ||
| You could see it on Brock's face. | ||
| He was scared after that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| There it is. | ||
| He was doing nothing but hurting him. | ||
| No, he was hurting him. | ||
| But Alistair. | ||
| That Alistair, that version of Alistair, one of the scariest guys ever. | ||
| Still is. | ||
| Brock is like, fuck this shit. | ||
| What do you think about him and Stipe? | ||
| What's your thoughts on that fight? | ||
| Because you're going to be there. | ||
| It's going to be a great fucking fight. | ||
| This guy's kickboxing is so advanced more than Stipe. | ||
| Stipe? | ||
| Yeah, Stipe. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| This guy's been in fucking Thailand and Bangkok and the jungles of death and Winklejohns. | ||
| You know, it's a different... | ||
| It's a different type of fighter. | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not taking anything away from Verdum or anything. | ||
| I had a feeling he was going to knock fucking Verdum out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I had a feeling. | ||
| I just had a feeling. | ||
| He wanted it. | ||
| He wanted it, Joe. | ||
| He wanted it. | ||
| He wanted it. | ||
| And those type of guys are fucking, you know. | ||
| So, now you've got this guy, and they're doing it in Cleveland, but this guy's experienced. | ||
| You know, if he's at Winklejohn, one thing about Winklejohn is those guys know how to put together a game plan, man. | ||
| And if you stick to it, I guarantee the percentages are high. | ||
| They put together a great game plan. | ||
| I'm not taking nothing away from Steope's coach and nothing. | ||
| I'm just saying that Winkle, that's what they specialize in, Joe. | ||
| Game plan. | ||
| And then they practice it and they fucking... | ||
| And sometimes it works against them with Holmes and Misha Tate, but it worked with Holmes and Ron. | ||
| They work with Carlos Condu and the Diaz guy. | ||
| It works. | ||
| If you stick to their game plan, you'll succeed. | ||
| Jon Jones, you know. | ||
| So who knows what they got in store for this kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the way I look at it is Alistair's always a threat. | ||
| He's just so skillful as a striker. | ||
| But when I see what Stipe did to Fabio Maldonado, who obviously is a smaller guy, but just had a war with Fedor. | ||
| Did you see that fight? | ||
| Yeah, a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Knocked Fedor down. | ||
| Kind of got fucked. | ||
| Lost the decision. | ||
| It should have been a draw, I think. | ||
| But either way, at the end of the day, Stipe looked like a murderer against Arlovsky. | ||
| Crushed Arlovsky. | ||
| Knocks Verdum out in the first round. | ||
| Man, it's hard to look past that. | ||
| Well, I'm looking at this from that perspective that fucking Mir, his confidence is out the fuck, you know. | ||
| He said he was going to knock out Verdum. | ||
| He said it. | ||
| You know, so right now his confidence is high. | ||
| It's in his backyard. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| All I know is right now I feel this is a fucking war. | ||
| This is going to be a really good fucking fight. | ||
| Look at that knee to the body. | ||
| Good Lord. | ||
| Yeah, Stipe's a tank, man. | ||
| He's a legit tank. | ||
| And he's a serious fucking athlete, too, man. | ||
| Works hard. | ||
| Real talented. | ||
| Stays cool into pressure. | ||
| He's a murderer when he gets in there, man. | ||
| So calm. | ||
| Like, that guy can fight at his very best now. | ||
| Especially now, with all of his experience inside the Octagon. | ||
| He's, like, seasoned. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I learned about Winkle John when I watched GSP's coach do the breakdown of the Holly Holm Ronda. | ||
| That was possibly one of the best breakdowns I saw in more ways than one. | ||
| I learned so much from that breakdown from what the eye at the house doesn't have a clue of what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| The people at home don't have a clue of what the fuck they're watching. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like what? | ||
| The way he was... | ||
| Why she was keeping her hips high. | ||
| Just little things that I didn't know. | ||
| I never even fucking heard of this shit. | ||
| Just little things. | ||
| And for Holly Holmes to be that good at it, that meant that Winkle John and the other guy, Greg Jackson, Professor Greg Jackson, put this thing together and they drilled that thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of times. | ||
| So I tell you, Joe Rogan, Every time you feel this hand on your hip here, put your ass out. | ||
| We're going to do that a thousand times. | ||
| I'm going to come to your house and every time I touch you here, I want you to drop your knees and she can't throw you. | ||
| You know, just simple shit. | ||
| I like preparation. | ||
| The preparation that Holly Holm had for Ronda was fucking money. | ||
| It was money. | ||
| And yeah, Ronda was consumed with other things. | ||
| But I was very impressed with that. | ||
| The preparation Carlos had against... | ||
| Against Diaz, you know, nobody thought Carlos was going to stay in there against Diaz. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Nobody fucking even came close to that. | ||
| And I learned something. | ||
| I was like, wow. | ||
| I fucking learned a lot that night about preparation, how they prepared for this. | ||
| So I like that camp for that. | ||
| You know, every camp has a different thing. | ||
| AKA, everybody that accuses them of being like these fucking, they go to brawls. | ||
| You know, they have gym brawls and shit. | ||
| You know, I grew up in the 70s, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I thought that that was what was acceptable. | ||
| Yeah, well, a lot of people did. | ||
| So now, yeah. | ||
| And they still do. | ||
| I mean, it's an argument. | ||
| You know, the problem with this whole conversation is no one's wrong. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, Eddie Alvarez was right. | ||
| He did 150 rounds, and it prepared him perfectly, and he went in and took Dos Anjos out, and he won. | ||
| So, he walked into that fight with two black eyes, Joey. | ||
| I mean, that guy had been sparring some fucking hard rounds, probably having some gym more. | ||
| So, in his case, it worked out. | ||
| Now when I say 150 rounds, do I get Joe Rogan to duplicate Rafael Dos Anos style? | ||
| You get a bunch of different guys usually. | ||
| And I prepare for Dos Anos' style. | ||
| I prepare for guys mimicking. | ||
| Three with Joe. | ||
| Three with him. | ||
| Throw Redman in there. | ||
| Throw Brian in there. | ||
| Throw Eddie in there. | ||
| So it's three guys that are all mimicking Dos Anos, one facing different guys. | ||
| Most likely in a good camp, they would want you to try to mimic some of the movements that the guy does. | ||
| So I know exactly. | ||
| He puts his hand up, I'm getting set up for this, so I know exactly how to react to it. | ||
| Well, Mark Henry, who is a striking coach, is a very skillful guy. | ||
| We're going to go eat pizza today out of respect. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I like that guy a lot. | ||
| I heard his pizza is fantastic. | ||
| Sure it is. | ||
| It's got to be in an area where you can't fucking fuck around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't fuck around. | |
| He'll shoot you, so he's got to be a good boxer. | ||
| Yeah, I've had some conversations about food with him. | ||
| He seems legit as fuck. | ||
| I've never met him or never seen him. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| You'd love him. | ||
| But his strategy and his technical understanding of striking movements and combinations, I'm always very impressed. | ||
| Very impressed by the training and very impressed by what Brendan Schaub told me because Brendan Schaub did some work with him for like one camp and he said the dude had like fucking notebooks filled with all these different notes about different movements and recreating stuff and drills and all the stuff they were gonna work on and what to do in this and they have different codes for stuff and they change them all the time like five six seven hit them with a two three five like it's all like these codes that they create apparently like he doesn't want anybody patterning it so they change it up This | ||
| is what Schaub was telling me. | ||
| Schaub was super impressed with him. | ||
| And Schaub was like, look, if the dude didn't live on the other side of the country, I would definitely train with him. | ||
| Look at who he got. | ||
| He showed up with this guy who beat him, this kid up. | ||
| He had Frankie Edgar for three, four, five fights. | ||
| Edson Barboza. | ||
| He had him for a long time as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Edson Barboza. | |
| You know, the guy obviously knows what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His striking work with his students is very high level. | ||
| Obviously, Barboza's a fucking freak. | ||
| I mean, his striking's so goddamn good, especially his kicks, which is ridiculous. | ||
| God damn, he's good now. | ||
| He's on fire right now. | ||
| He's another 155 pounder on fire! | ||
| Fire! | ||
| Who did Barboza just beat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I'm trying to remember because it was stunning. | |
| He was beautiful. | ||
| He was beautiful, that fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who the fuck did he beat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Anthony Pettis. | |
| Anthony Pettis, that's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a fight where Pettis finally got a guy who wanted to strike with him. | ||
| You know, because Pettis has been getting these guys like Dos Anjos and Eddie Alvarez who could grab ahold of him, squish him, push him up against the fence, use their physical strength in their wrestling. | ||
| And that was like a guy that, that was exactly the kind of fight that he wanted. | ||
| And it just didn't work out. | ||
| Because that's how good Barboza is. | ||
| He's one of the fastest kickers in the sport. | ||
| Perfect technique, too. | ||
| But that's him. | ||
| He's very good. | ||
| He was good going in there. | ||
| But a lot of it, you've got to credit to Mark Henry. | ||
| What he's done with Frankie, too. | ||
| One of the most impressive leg beatings I've ever seen was one that I was switching to channels. | ||
| I saw Jose Aldo. | ||
| I didn't know nothing about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was barely getting to fucking know the UFC and they got this other fucking league. | |
| Now I gotta watch this shit. | ||
| But I saw him. | ||
| The reason why I stopped was I just saw his leg kicks. | ||
| And the next day we got on a plane and you were talking about it. | ||
| And I didn't know what to say. | ||
| Those leg kicks were something I had never seen before. | ||
| Yeah, he's pretty goddamn sporty. | ||
| He throws bombs, man. | ||
| He, at one point in time, I guess when he was young, he was a really high-level soccer player. | ||
| And, like, maybe even had aspirations of going pro. | ||
| Could have possibly been at that level if he decided to go that path and instead went to jiu-jitsu and MMA, obviously. | ||
| But because of that, I think, those years of running and sprinting and throwing, kicking soccer balls, he just, he whips those kicks, man. | ||
| They're devastating. | ||
| His fight with Frankie and his fight with Uriah. | ||
| Uriah, that's the one I saw. | ||
| I didn't know who nobody was. | ||
| It's really weird that you were posting shit a couple weeks ago about Ian trying to turn you into soccer. | ||
| People from the 70s, we just didn't dig soccer. | ||
| Soccer and flutes. | ||
| We just did diggers. | ||
| Yeah, again, I'm going back to the flutes. | ||
| We didn't dig soccer and flutes. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't even fucking know. | ||
| I was growing up in the 70s. | ||
| You like the Pittsburgh Steelers. | ||
| You like the shit. | ||
| You play two-hand touch. | ||
| And one day, some dude at my mother's bar is like, you want to play football? | ||
| I go, yeah. | ||
| He goes, go to Hudson County Park tomorrow at 9. I go up there with my football, these guys playing soccer. | ||
| To me, it was like fucking a different language. | ||
| We just didn't grow up in that. | ||
| It didn't become popular in this country until like 85, 84. They started introducing it in schools and stuff. | ||
| My high school didn't have a soccer fucking team. | ||
| I didn't know nothing about soccer. | ||
| I knew Pele. | ||
| I knew Pele. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all I knew about fucking soccer. | ||
| That's all everybody knew. | ||
| That's how popular Pele was. | ||
| He's like the Tony Hawk of soccer. | ||
| Nobody knows anybody other than Tony Hawk. | ||
| Who's a pro skateboarder? | ||
| Tony Hawk. | ||
| That's all everybody knows. | ||
| Who rides a bike professionally? | ||
| Lance Armstrong. | ||
| I heard he did steroids. | ||
| There's a few guys that they're the only guy that anybody has ever heard of in that genre. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Who dives? | ||
| Greg Louganis. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Nobody else dives. | ||
| There's no other diver. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Who swims fast? | ||
| That fucking pothead guy. | ||
| Michael Phelps. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| He swims fast. | ||
| He's about to fuck him up again. | ||
| Everybody else can't swim fast. | ||
| He's the only guy we know. | ||
| He's about to fuck him up again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's about to fuck him up again. | ||
| How is he doing? | ||
| Has he done any other races? | ||
| Or is he just preparing for the Olympics? | ||
| I think he's just preparing for... | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he's been winning. | |
| He's been winning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's done a couple races. | |
| I don't think he's been actually actively competing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's done a couple times, yeah. | |
| Remember when you get in trouble for pot? | ||
| God, that was stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He had to apologize. | |
| That is so fucking stupid. | ||
| He could have had a drink in both hands and a cigar in his mouth and no one would have said a word. | ||
| And everybody went, ah, the kid's blowing off steam. | ||
| He had an amazing Olympic career. | ||
| Think about... | ||
| Look at the gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Think about the pressure and relax. | ||
| Let him have his margarita and his tobacco. | ||
| But if you catch him doing bong hits at someone's party, you're like, holy shit. | ||
| And whoever that was that narked on him... | ||
| Should be shot in fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| That's why I don't like none of that shit. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| They probably didn't even know what they were doing. | ||
| Just for the fucking record, that lets you know that that fucking reefer don't even hurt your cardio. | ||
| Because Michael Phelps is fucking kicking it up like that, swimming. | ||
| It doesn't hurt your cardio. | ||
| Those extreme endurance athletes love it. | ||
| There's been a bunch of articles lately on them taking edibles. | ||
| They take edibles and sometimes they even stop at tents and vape. | ||
| They'll have like a vaporizer, like a volcano set up halfway along the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have a friend that took a little chillin' with him on a marathon. | |
| He stopped at a port-a-john and took a couple hits. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I bet it makes the whole thing a much better experience. | ||
| It's fucking way better for yoga. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| I do yoga sober all the time. | ||
| No. | ||
| I do yoga sober all the time, but occasionally. | ||
| I like to go deep and go to the hot yoga class and get my stretch on. | ||
| Holy shit, man. | ||
| Especially with edibles. | ||
| Edibles is the way to go to yoga. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't smoke. | |
| You just feel everything. | ||
| You can smoke. | ||
| 30 minutes before yoga, you pop a light edible. | ||
| I wouldn't do 800 milligrams when you go to yoga. | ||
| I take 200 milligrams, stretch, and by the 30-minute mark of yoga, all that stretching and all that release, the 200 goes to work. | ||
| And it calms you. | ||
| And gives you a light buzz and you don't know it till you're stuck in a position and you're breathing. | ||
| That's when you go like, oh shit. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| You know, you're right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you're like, oh shit. | ||
| Now I'm feeling it towards the end. | ||
| I used to eat banana bread and go to yoga with my wife before I knocked her up. | ||
| I used to get fucked up in there. | ||
| The only problem with yoga is you can't bring a notebook and a pen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucked up! | |
| And you can't bring your phone because you're an asshole. | ||
| In yoga, when you're in that downward dog stone, the shit that comes out of your spine into your mind is creepy. | ||
| you start looking at girls asses and the teacher and thinking about shit. | ||
| Like if there's somebody Asian in the class, you get all fucked up in the class. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like you start thinking about green tea and shit. - You know what I thought about setting up? | |
| And I might actually have to do this. | ||
| A voice activated tape recorder for inside my tank. | ||
| Because I don't want to leave the tank. | ||
| No, it's too much sometimes. | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| Those exercises, when you do that type of stuff, yoga stoned, when you're in there, it kills you because you think of shit when you're in a deep stretch. | ||
| Joey, you've never floated before, have you? | ||
| No, I'm still paranoid. | ||
| I'm a good swimmer, but I don't want to. | ||
| But you can't. | ||
| It's 11 inches of water. | ||
| Becky's going to take me to Pasadena. | ||
| That's the biggest place in the world now. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That guy that opened up that float center in Pasadena is the biggest float center in the world. | ||
| What's the name of the company? | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Give the homie his props. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not sure. | |
| I want to say it's the Float Lab. | ||
| No. | ||
| Float Lab is in Venice and in Westwood, and that's the best place on the planet. | ||
| This guy's got something in Hollywood, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just Float. | |
| Just Float. | ||
| Just Float has Hollywood also. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| I think so, because Becky works with all of them. | ||
| Inspired by us talking about it. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| I met that guy at the Ice House in Pasadena. | ||
| I'm gonna go float soon. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You know, man, sometimes I go deep and it fucks with me for four or five days. | ||
| Like the other day, I remember I dropped out of high school. | ||
| Who remembers that shit? | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| I would remember that. | ||
| No, dawg. | ||
| You want me to tell you something? | ||
| Do you know I went to community college for two years? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did, too. | |
| That's the sickest part, but without a high school diploma. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You could go to community college with a GED. No, no. | ||
| I didn't even have the GED. You just went? | ||
| I just went. | ||
| I just started signing up. | ||
| They asked me. | ||
| I told them, yeah. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| And then when I got the letter that I had too many credits that I had to transfer to Boulder, Boulder was like, we've been looking for your paperwork. | ||
| We can't find your GED. And I kept telling them it's in there. | ||
| And they go, well, ain't nothing going to get processed until we have the paperwork in our hand. | ||
| So it was like a Tuesday. | ||
| I had to go take the GED on a Saturday. | ||
| And I passed it and I brought it in and I got into college. | ||
| That's how I did it. | ||
| You just bringing that up made me remember that I went to a junior college. | ||
| I literally had completely forgot about it. | ||
| I forgot I fucking dropped out. | ||
| Forgot and got sad for a week. | ||
| I got sad for a week. | ||
| How the fuck can you drop out of high school? | ||
| Like, I was thinking like I was single for a while. | ||
| Yeah, you were single. | ||
| You were fucking dropout. | ||
| Who the fuck wants to hang out with a dropout? | ||
| You got no future. | ||
| So you were thinking this when you were high recently? | ||
| Is that what was going on? | ||
| About three weeks ago, I'm writing and I'm out lighting. | ||
| And I'm trying to figure out a hook for the special. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I'm thinking about what traumatizes you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How can we go in? | ||
| The other shit they've heard, and it's bullshit. | ||
| What really got to me? | ||
| And I remember, like, holy shit. | ||
| I dropped out of high school. | ||
| Junior year, August. | ||
| Going into senior year, you drop out. | ||
| And I went in like in January and I got my credits. | ||
| But I was three credits short to graduate. | ||
| And they wanted me to go to summer school. | ||
| And I was like, you know what? | ||
| I ain't going to summer school. | ||
| So fuck you. | ||
| So I didn't get to get my diploma and stand and get it. | ||
| Which I didn't really care about because I had nobody to show them through the fucking thing anyway. | ||
| So in my mind, I didn't really give a fuck. | ||
| Why would I want to go there and embarrass myself? | ||
| And I should have. | ||
| Now I would have done it. | ||
| But then I just wanted to smoke pot. | ||
| I just wanted to get out of there. | ||
| I didn't go to my graduation. | ||
| I just wanted to get out. | ||
| I felt like that whole experience was just... | ||
| It was bizarrely frustrating. | ||
| I didn't like proms. | ||
| I didn't go to my eighth grade graduation. | ||
| I went to five-star basketball camp. | ||
| Instead, it was one of those snow years, so you got to stay in school till June 29th. | ||
| I booked the basketball camp the 20th. | ||
| I ain't staying. | ||
| They went to Great Adventure. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| You know, when I went to a good school, too, it wasn't a bad school, but the experience was this overwhelming pressure of becoming an adult. | ||
| That was, like, the big experience. | ||
| That was the scariest part of it, more than anything. | ||
| Just the overwhelming pressure of one day having to take care of myself and trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to do with my time. | ||
| High school was good for me. | ||
| I'm not going to lie, no, but I had a great time in high school. | ||
| It wasn't bad for me. | ||
| I had a great time taking classes. | ||
| I'll tell you what, till now, I think, I live a couple blocks from Valley College and I always think about why don't I go there at night and take a history class. | ||
| I'm an asshole. | ||
| I just really learned a history class that I've forgotten. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This shit just went out of my mind one day, you know, and it's embarrassing when people have conversations and I can't join in. | ||
| I mean, people don't talk about history a lot around me. | ||
| It's hard to get excited about a class unless you're really thrilled with the subject, but I'll tell you one way to learn history. | ||
| Podcasts. | ||
| I know you've been telling me. | ||
| Somebody else mentioned it to me. | ||
| Hardcore history. | ||
| Dan Carlin. | ||
| Fucking phenomenal. | ||
| Fucking phenomenal. | ||
| Just tune into the one about World War I. Have you? | ||
| No, I'll listen to World War I. He's got a whole series on World War I. It'll blow your fucking mind. | ||
| Listen, I didn't like reading about it. | ||
| I had a friend that was brilliant, God rest his soul. | ||
| This motherfucker was a genie. | ||
| Went to Brown, the whole thing. | ||
| And one night we would get hired and I'd ask him stupid, creepy questions about the wars. | ||
| And he would break it down how Joe Diaz would break it down. | ||
| He was from Jersey. | ||
| And he would say there was this fucking bar and these people, and I understood it. | ||
| When I was growing up, I didn't really give a fuck about history, man. | ||
| I didn't really give a fuck. | ||
| Somebody was saying, well, maybe you quit high school because you didn't believe in standardized education. | ||
| No, I quit high school because I was fucking broke, Jack. | ||
| I quit high school because I had to produce something. | ||
| I had to do something. | ||
| And I got a warehouse job, a union warehouse job at Masbach Sentry Hardware. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was a fucking nightmare, but I did it carrying chains, cutting chains, putting them in boxes, 6 in the morning to fucking 6 at night. | ||
| I loved it, Joe. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| At the time, it was $9 an hour, but guess what? | ||
| After 60 days, a fucking job opened up, loading trucks from 7 to 4. And that paid like $18 an hour, plus I would get into the union, I'd get my benefits, and you worked really Monday through Thursday, because Friday you went home at a quarter of 8, so I could still see my friends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I took the fucking job. | ||
| Tremendous. | ||
| Going there at 7. Nobody else there. | ||
| Three other guys. | ||
| Nobody talked. | ||
| I put a Walkman on with a cassette, and I would just work. | ||
| Everything was going great. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Mid-December. | ||
| I fucking ate something and I went down there at 7 and I just got sick one night and I walked off the property and I kept calling back. | ||
| And then they would pick up the phone, so the next day I got a call and you got fired because you left the property. | ||
| Even though I puked on the property and was sick and I explained to them, I really got sick. | ||
| I went home to get a different shirt because I lived like two blocks away. | ||
| I just couldn't get back in. | ||
| And they were like, we'll fire you. | ||
| And then like a month later, it's like mid-January, I go back to high school. | ||
| I'm kind of broke. | ||
| I go down there to get my last check and I bump into the shop steward. | ||
| And I was always smart. | ||
| Whenever I went to lunch, I'd bring the shops to it a bottle. | ||
| He liked like J&B, the pints. | ||
| You'd give him booze? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's how you... | ||
| Bro, when he first put me into the union... | ||
| And you were in high school. | ||
| I was in high school. | ||
| And you would give him booze? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| What was the drinking age back then? | ||
| 18. 18? | ||
| 18. But we were drinking... | ||
| Of course. | ||
| In those days, how we did it was we'd get booze delivered. | ||
| I think when I turned 18 was when the drinking age became 21. Right. | ||
| When was it? | ||
| When was the... | ||
| Find out what age it was. | ||
| The scam in those days, Joe Rogan, was you weren't going to go get booze at a liquor store. | ||
| You had to stand out there like a hooker trying to get some booze and burn a pack of cigarettes. | ||
| So what you did was you found the liquor store that delivered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And then when they brought the booze to the house, the guy would say, fuck you, my... | ||
| What's the tab? | ||
| 20. I got 20 on top of it. | ||
| You gonna turn down? | ||
| Just say my grandfather's sleeping. | ||
| Here's a note from my grandfather that says fucking the booze is for him. | ||
| And then we got this guy on the tab. | ||
| We would just call him. | ||
| We'd be on a ride. | ||
| We'd be at a park. | ||
| And we'd make up an address and he knew it was us. | ||
| So we'd give them an extra 20 on the top, and they'd deliver booze to you in those days. | ||
| That's a scam that went away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's interesting. | |
| Nobody delivers booze and cigarettes no more. | ||
| And if you knew the guy, the guy would stop and get you a shrimp parm sandwich. | ||
| Listen, you mind stopping over at Primo and get me a... | ||
| It's already called in. | ||
| They know you're coming. | ||
| I'll give you an extra five on top of the 20. So you had this guy buying sandwiches for you? | ||
| We became friends with him. | ||
| We became friends with the liquor delivery guy. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| The liquor delivery guy quit that and opened up a bar. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Years later. | ||
| Tremendous fucking bar. | ||
| Like for six months it failed. | ||
| He started selling coke out of there. | ||
| And there went the fucking whistle. | ||
| So they turned it, the legal age was 21, Jamie pulled up, at 1984. So that was like right when I was turning 17, they turned it to 21. It was good. | ||
| When you're 18, that means you're drinking at 16. Yeah. | ||
| When you're 18, you look 18 at 16 when I was growing up. | ||
| Not to mention that New Jersey... | ||
| Well, you're drinking at 16 anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Pretty much everybody's drinking at 16 anyway. | ||
| They get to a party... | ||
| You're drinking in the 8th grade. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I was growing up, you started drinking in the eighth grade. | ||
| Some guy smoked pot. | ||
| Nobody was doing hard drugs. | ||
| No. | ||
| Once that freshman summer came along, people started falling off to the fucking waistline. | ||
| But this was the scam, Joe Rogan. | ||
| The scam was this. | ||
| No matter where you lived in the tri-state area, New Jersey, if you check all the residences in New Jersey, tons of people had New Jersey licenses. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| No picture. | ||
| Check and see what year New Jersey put pictures on. | ||
| That was the scam! | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me, Joe Rogan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So Joe Rogan's got another brother, Nick Rogan. | |
| Oh my God! | ||
| Joe Rogan's got Nick Rogan and Mike Rogan, okay, in the family. | ||
| You ready for this one? | ||
| Joe Rogan's a hustler. | ||
| Joe Rogan steals Nick and Mike's fucking licenses, sells them to Joey and fucking the genius here. | ||
| They get duplicates. | ||
| What, did you ever hear Ari Shafir's story? | ||
| What? | ||
| Ari Shafir's brother fucking used his ID. He forged his ID to get insurance or something like that. | ||
| And Ari didn't find out until someone called him. | ||
| He told a story about it on the Skeptic Tank on his podcast. | ||
| His brother faked his ID and got his own fucking ID card. | ||
| His brother was a degenerate. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| You have no fucking idea what these savages do now. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| I forgot that there was a time where IDs didn't have photos on them. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's hard to believe. | ||
| Do you remember the days when you didn't have to bring an ID to get on a plane? | ||
| Remember those days? | ||
| I made up names. | ||
| You could just get on a plane. | ||
| You had a ticket. | ||
| You showed them a ticket. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Ticket didn't have your name on it? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| You don't have to tell them nothing. | ||
| You could tell them John Smith and you could fly as John Smith. | ||
| And you could give somebody a ticket. | ||
| You could buy a ticket and give it to them. | ||
| Yes, give it to somebody. | ||
| And they could just go on. | ||
| I remember hiding Coke in the lockers. | ||
| In the lockers and putting, you know, the ones you got to put quarters in to get the shit out. | ||
| They don't even have those no more. | ||
| That's how long ago I traveled, Joe. | ||
| And I would go to a bar and drink and go back and put $10 in quarters, take it out, do two more bumps. | ||
| That's how retarded I was. | ||
| It cost me $200 just to fucking drink and do a couple lines in those airports. | ||
| I forgot about those locker things. | ||
| Those fucking lockers at airports. | ||
| You ever been to San Francisco and you see the yoga room? | ||
| No. | ||
| San Francisco airport has a yoga room. | ||
| Oh, no, no, okay. | ||
| I didn't know if a yoga room was like a special fucking thing. | ||
| We need to go to do yoga. | ||
| Next time we work San Francisco, we need to pull in there. | ||
| It'll be a long time from now since I just did the... | ||
| I was in San Francisco in 85, stuck at the airport one time. | ||
| And every time I went to the bathroom, I saw the same guy in there pissing. | ||
| And after about six hours, eight hours, the guy, you go to piss and all of a sudden he'd pop in and stand next to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, look at your dick for 10 minutes. | |
| And then he'd go to the next guy. | ||
| So what he would do is he'd look at your dick, go in the bathroom, whack off, and then he would stay in the bathroom until you took your dick out, went up to the thing, and he was lightning quick. | ||
| He had the foot speed of a fucking 4'3 Canseco. | ||
| He would run next to you with his dick in his hand and smile and look next to you. | ||
| How many times did you interact with him? | ||
| I didn't interact with him. | ||
| I was watching him. | ||
| You know me, Doug. | ||
| I got an eye for purpose. | ||
| You're saying you got an eye for purpose. | ||
| You're in the bathroom watching the guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not in the bathroom. | |
| I'm stuck at a terminal, okay? | ||
| I'm sitting there. | ||
| The bathroom's right there. | ||
| There's like CNN. It's 1985. It wasn't like it is now. | ||
| The number. | ||
| Another summer. | ||
| My flight's at 6 a.m. | ||
| When I get there, I go to the bathroom, and this guy's next to me. | ||
| As I take my dick and wash my hands, you just see what the guy looks like. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You sit down, and two hours later, you see the guy going into the bathroom again. | ||
| Then three hours later, you're going to see him into the bathroom again. | ||
| And you see him walking out of there and acting suspicious. | ||
| And I'm like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
| Now I go to the bathroom again. | ||
| I'm delayed again. | ||
| I go in the bathroom again. | ||
| Guess who's next to me? | ||
| That same guy. | ||
| You figure it out. | ||
| He's a fucking perv. | ||
| I didn't figure it out. | ||
| I never repeated this because it didn't make any sense. | ||
| I mean, it was 85. There was like a buzzer. | ||
| There was no people there or nothing. | ||
| There was like a buzzer. | ||
| You know, that's when you were allowed to walk to the gate. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| To meet people. | ||
| So this guy would just go to the airport in the daytime. | ||
| Just go jerk off. | ||
| And go jerk off for a fucking day at the airport. | ||
| Well, there's something about men's restrooms that have always been like places where gay dudes hooked up. | ||
| Remember where that senator got in trouble? | ||
| Well, that's what happened in San Francisco. | ||
| Yeah, right at the airport. | ||
| It was like Minneapolis or something like that, wasn't it? | ||
| They used to have some weird thing they would do. | ||
| They would like tap their foot three times on the ground if you want to suck some dick. | ||
| Climb under the stalls. | ||
| Because stalls, you know, is some footsie room. | ||
| You could probably climb under a stall if you're a small guy, right? | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was Minnesota. | |
| It was Minnesota? | ||
| Yeah, I had a feeling it was Minnesota. | ||
| Yeah, Minneapolis Airport. | ||
| Larry, yeah. | ||
| He was apprehended by a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of rude behavior. | ||
| He would tap on the thing. | ||
| Yeah, he would tap on the something. | ||
| But that's just amazing that this guy is a Republican senator and he's doing gay shit. | ||
| Or, how about this? | ||
| Maybe he wasn't really doing gay shit and he had some fucking enemy. | ||
| And so some enemy has him arrested for doing gay shit in the bathroom by a corrupt cop. | ||
| This is... | ||
| If someone says you were sucking dick in the bathroom, man, it could crush your reputation. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| If somebody shoots Buddha over here, and they come and arrest me, and I don't have a fucking gun, right? | ||
| They let me go. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| According to the arrest report cited by Roll Call, Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| Maybe he's just got a song in his head. | ||
| He then alleges that Craig then touched the officer's foot with his foot and the senator proceeded to swipe his hand under the stalled divider several times. | ||
| Maybe he's out of toilet paper. | ||
| He didn't want to talk about it. | ||
| Figured you'd be a gentleman. | ||
| Hand him some fucking toilet paper. | ||
| At that point, the officer said he put his police identification down on the floor so Craig could see it and informed the senator that he was under arrest. | ||
| Wait a minute! | ||
| Wait a minute! | ||
| You can't arrest someone for tapping their foot and putting their hand out. | ||
| Yes, you can. | ||
| How can you arrest someone for that? | ||
| Yes, you can, Joe Rogan. | ||
| You would be pissed off. | ||
| If you were taking a shit at the airport, and you saw my gorilla foot with the fungi nail come through that thing and tap your foot, and then my hand comes out and goes like this. | ||
| Look, look, Joe. | ||
| Like, I'm squeezing your nuts. | ||
| You're not going to dial 911 on me? | ||
| That's a pervert. | ||
| That's definitely a pervert. | ||
| I mean, I'm not supporting his behavior. | ||
| But I just think you need a little bit more than some sign language to get arrested. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
| Hillary Clinton, she has like a thousand emails that had classified information in them. | ||
| She doesn't get arrested. | ||
| This dude just taps his foot. | ||
| He gets arrested? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ten days in jail. | |
| Ten days in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The sentence was stayed. | |
| When I was like 18, there was a movie theater. | ||
| 500 bucks. | ||
| It's worth it. | ||
| It was a thrill. | ||
| There was a movie theater, not in Newark or nothing. | ||
| It was like a regular suburb. | ||
| And we went there one night, and we thought it was like a Rocky Horror, but it was like fucking straight up porn. | ||
| It was like straight up Queen Liberty, one of those places. | ||
| It was straight up porn. | ||
| And we went in there, and we hung out for maybe 20 minutes, and we heard yelling and screaming in the bathroom, dog. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| And we got the fuck out of it. | ||
| That was the end of that shit. | ||
| You could run into, like, the old days? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I can't deal with it. | ||
| Yeah, in the old days, they were... | ||
| Times Square? | ||
| You didn't want to fuck around. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you were involved in madness. | ||
| Well, Times Square in the old days, what people don't remember is that you have Broadway. | ||
| Let's go to the map. | ||
| You had Broadway and you had 8th Avenue, which is probably the same. | ||
| I don't even fucking remember in those days. | ||
| But the movies started like here. | ||
| They were like G... P.G. And then as you went up the block, they got R.R. Then across the street, towards the corner middle, where the X, Devil and Mrs. Jones. | ||
| First of all, in those days you couldn't have a fucked up name, like a comedic name. | ||
| You had to have a theatrical release name in porn in the 70s like that. | ||
| Linda Lovelace. | ||
| Linda Lovelace. | ||
| You couldn't have like a spin-off of something. | ||
| Like it wasn't like that. | ||
| They probably had, out of the 12 or 13 movie theaters on both sides, they probably had four movie theaters that were dedicated to straight up fucking porn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then they had one that was a split. | ||
| That was a movie on the way down. | ||
| Two movies that were on the way down. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| The Poseidon Adventure, the Chinese Connection. | ||
| They're on the way down. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you had another movie theater that actually played three movies on Sunday. | ||
| But then you had the good ones that played the James Bonds. | ||
| And you know, the really good ones. | ||
| But it was just always scary to go down there. | ||
| I used to always go down there, Joe. | ||
| I bought IDs down there. | ||
| I played three-card Monty down there. | ||
| In the eighth grade, I saw Paris Pizziona. | ||
| He caught his neck on the fucking thing. | ||
| He put quarters in the peep show. | ||
| Oh, you told me the story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he stuck his neck in there. | |
| He tried to get his head in there. | ||
| He got his head in there, because in those days, they had three days. | ||
| You know, I grew up down there. | ||
| I remember my friend buying weed, and it was that sex weed. | ||
| Sex weed? | ||
| In the 80s, if you bought Penthouse or Playboy, it had to be Penthouse. | ||
| Because they were a little bit more. | ||
| If you bought Penthouse in the 80s, the last two pages was dedicated to fake weed. | ||
| And it was that. | ||
| That was one of the grossest things about those pop magazines. | ||
| They used to sell fake weed ads. | ||
| And they would just con unsuspecting stoners. | ||
| Stupid people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they'd tell you, don't open it till you walk three blocks down. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I just gave you $22.50. | ||
| I'm in the eighth grade. | ||
| I'm opening this motherfucker right here. | ||
| My buddy bought acid. | ||
| They gave him paper with coffee stains. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Like, little coffee. | ||
| He bought blot of acid. | ||
| Like, you gotta be an asshole. | ||
| Like, the word got out. | ||
| That was like Amateur Street if you went down to Dubai. | ||
| But there was the last 50 yards of the sex side. | ||
| Like I said, so on this side was just regular movies, The Mechanic, Love Bug. | ||
| You know, it had an array of that style of movie. | ||
| Then across the street, it would get a little bit more risque. | ||
| It was Sex World. | ||
| And towards the end, well, that block there was where Joe, the 50 yards, broad daylight, cops down a corner, and you could hear as you walked with your family. | ||
| You could be with your mom, dad, kids, and that's all you would hear. | ||
| Marijuana, acid brother. | ||
| I got cocaine. | ||
| I got some speed, motherfucker. | ||
| I got tens. | ||
| I got fake IDs. | ||
| They're just selling it right out there. | ||
| Right out. | ||
| Right out on that fucking 42nd Street. | ||
| Daylight. | ||
| You know, packed on a Saturday. | ||
| Saturday was Suckers Paradise. | ||
| Suckers paradise, and you would walk 50 yards and marijuana, marijuana, marijuana, I have speed, I got heroin, and it was all beat. | ||
| Because if cops caught them, they wouldn't even go to jail. | ||
| Because it was fake. | ||
| Everything was fake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And then you hit the corner. | ||
| So they were getting all tourists. | ||
| Yeah, they were getting tourists. | ||
| Then you hit the corner. | ||
| And they would dissipate a little bit, and then once you hit that street, it would turn into Three Card Montyville. | ||
| I know a lot of guys who did that. | ||
| Yeah, and then that's where Three Card Monty would get the tourists, and you'd see people crying, and the kids crying, and then after that it slowed up. | ||
| Excuse me, then the streets met. | ||
| But that was a hell fucking hole in the 80s and 70s. | ||
| And now it's a big TGI Fridays. | ||
| Big TGI Friday. | ||
| Nothing goes down down there. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Nothing happens down there. | ||
| It became like the place where like top 40 TV shows film. | ||
| It became this like homogenized mall in the middle of New York City. | ||
| It's like the worst, roughest part of New York City. | ||
| Times Square. | ||
| I mean, that was 42nd Street. | ||
| That was... | ||
| There's like these iconic blocks. | ||
| You know, Hell's Kitchen. | ||
| That was like right in there. | ||
| Times Square was like the place where all the lewd movies were. | ||
| Times Square was all the sex shops. | ||
| Times Square was all the chaos. | ||
| Now Times Square is like a Guy Fieri restaurant. | ||
| Six years ago, you took me to New York City, and you know, we're from here. | ||
| So when we go back to New York, we're not going to bed till 3, minimum. | ||
| We don't even start thinking about bed till 3 o'clock in New York. | ||
| Right, because it's midnight there. | ||
| It's fucking midnight there, you know. | ||
| Or midnight here. | ||
| No, midnight here. | ||
| So I would fucking, I remember it was 430 in the morning. | ||
| I couldn't take it. | ||
| I gotta go outside and roll the joint. | ||
| These pictures Jamie's pulling up. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I went out. | ||
| Go full screen on that Kit Kat thing. | ||
| I walked around for maybe 25 minutes, and Joe Rogan, I didn't see a soul. | ||
| Look at this video poker. | ||
| They had video poker? | ||
| Pinball? | ||
| You could play poker? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Mardi Gras. | ||
| This is just, it's hilarious. | ||
| Look at that girl's butt. | ||
| We tolerated tiny little butts back then. | ||
| You know? | ||
| She's like, look at all this. | ||
| Today, that bitch would be doing squats. | ||
| They changed the ass game somewhere around 2000. Right? | ||
| The ass game pre-2000 and post-2000. | ||
| I mean, you want to talk about, like, eras of greatness? | ||
| Like, the ass age is here. | ||
| If you want to, like, the asses of today are so superior to the asses of our parents' generation. | ||
| I mean, it's not even a fucking contest. | ||
| Because in our parents' generation, it wasn't even a subject of debate. | ||
| It wasn't like, who's got the best ass? | ||
| It took them years to figure that out. | ||
| It was tits. | ||
| Do you think it had anything to do with those magazines like Maxim and stuff that they couldn't show nudity, so they just had to show some sexy asses with a little thong? | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| And they're all sports-oriented, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, and that was right around the 2000s and late 90s. | |
| You know what happened? | ||
| Chicks started lifting. | ||
| As soon as chicks started lifting, you went, whoa! | ||
| Like, it made a big goddamn difference. | ||
| I mean, there's always, like, standard measurements of beauty, right? | ||
| Like, small waist, big hips... | ||
| You know, hips to waist ratio, facial features, breast size, you know, something that makes women extraordinarily attractive to men, right? | ||
| But I don't think we knew how much a big juicy ass really got people until like the 2000s. | ||
| Maybe the late 90s. | ||
| The 60s and 70s were breast people. | ||
| The country, and it was a different breast. | ||
| It was a real breast. | ||
| The fucking pink was a lot bigger. | ||
| The areola, whatever, was huge and thick. | ||
| And now it's become the breast, the skin tight, all the fat's been cut off the breast. | ||
| That's what you look for now. | ||
| The woman's body has changed over the years. | ||
| If you look at a Playboy from the 1970s, both of you guys, you'll call me back and go, what the fuck were people thinking? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're still beautiful, but it's a different type of beauty. | ||
| Well, they just weren't athletic. | ||
| If you look at the women in movies in the 60s, they were drop-dead fucking gorgeous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You had a fucking behead. | ||
| Is that Bo Derek? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She was like one of the first to have a tremendous ass. | ||
| But her body was just spectacular. | ||
| Betty Page, she had a pretty decent ass. | ||
| Hard to tell. | ||
| See, that girl needs to go to the gym. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Raquel Welch? | ||
| Her ass is probably better now at 90. Look at that. | ||
| Whose ass is that? | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Quite flat. | ||
| Unfortunately. | ||
| I wonder what... | ||
| She's hot now, though. | ||
| What was the chick that fucked Sinatra's head up? | ||
| Oh, Audrey Hepburn? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| No? | ||
| Not Audrey Hepburn. | ||
| The chick that went to fucking Paris and went up behind her. | ||
| Real exotic-looking bitch. | ||
| I wonder what she looked like in a bikini. | ||
| Oh, she was stunning. | ||
| I was going to say Tina Fey. | ||
| What the fuck am I saying? | ||
| Tina Fey? | ||
| I gotta get out of here, man. | ||
| I gotta go to the store. | ||
| What time is it right now? | ||
| It's 10 o'clock, Joey Diaz. | ||
| Alright, let's do it. | ||
| Tomorrow night, 9 o'clock, TKO Tita. | ||
| What's the name of it? | ||
| The Ka. | ||
| The Ka. | ||
| K-A-Tita. | ||
| M-G-M. You dirty freaks. | ||
| Ian Edwards. | ||
| Here she is. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| No, that's not her. | ||
| I don't think that's her. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I think that's his daughter, you dirty son of a bitch. | ||
| He's got a... | ||
| It was an actress that he was in love with. | ||
| It didn't work out. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Tomorrow, Cot Theater, Ian Edwards, Joey Diaz, and moi were fucking psyched. | ||
| I don't know how many tickets are left. | ||
| It was almost sold out as of today. | ||
| And Joey, what else you got coming up? | ||
| I know you are at the Ice House soon. | ||
| I saw your name up on the board. | ||
| Are you there next weekend? | ||
| Where? | ||
| Ice House? | ||
| Pasadena? | ||
| No, they had to cancel next weekend because of the surgery. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So I'm just doing isolated dates. | ||
| They got your name still up at the Ice House. | ||
| Tell them to take your fucking name down. | ||
| They were supposed to have taken it down. | ||
| There's a poster outside that's advertising you being there. | ||
| I'll call Sean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, maybe it's a different date. | ||
| Do you have a date in the future there? | ||
| Yeah, I got a date in August. | ||
| Maybe it's the August date they have up there. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| Maybe I knew you were going to be there and I knew you switched. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Maybe I fucked it up in my head. | ||
| I didn't know for sure. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thanks, everybody. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Thanks for tuning in. | ||
| And we will be back on Monday with the great Chael Sonnen. | ||
| And it should be a fun time talking to him, especially because it's right after UFC 200. And I think Chael has a new submission organization. | ||
| He's going to do a professional submission organization with EBI Rules, which is the Eddie Bravo Invitational Rules, the best rules in all of grappling. | ||
| So exciting stuff. | ||
| So we'll talk to Chael on Monday. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll see you later, bitch. | |
| Bye. |
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