March 25, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:30:57
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
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Are we live? | |
| Jesus Christ, Jamie, you're so quick on the draw! | ||
| You fucking maniac! | ||
| Give Jamie a couple days off and he starts chomping at the bit to hit that go button. | ||
| Did you hear that Microsoft made a fucking AI and they had to delete it after a day because it became a Hitler-loving sex robot? | ||
| What? | ||
| Somebody found a way to make it do that, though. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, they found a flaw in the AI that will make it repeat stuff. | ||
| And so a team of people on Twitter purposely tried to make it racist and all this crap. | ||
| It's pretty funny. | ||
| Well, it highlights the problems with an artificial intelligence, though. | ||
| Like, the idea that you've created something that's some sort of a computer that someone can manipulate. | ||
| I mean, if it's this easy to do something that fucking Microsoft created, you would have thought that Microsoft, being a computer manufacturer and a manufacturer of operating systems, would understand the goddamn internet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's kind of weird, though. | ||
| It's so realistic that that's what kids actually have to deal with every day on Twitter. | ||
| Like, a seven-year-old goes on Twitter, it's going to see racist shit, it's going to see porn, it's going to see all this crazy stuff. | ||
| So it's actually pretty realistic. | ||
| Well, it is in a way, right? | ||
| There's a real problem with that. | ||
| There's a real problem with what kids are being exposed to right away. | ||
| If they go online, and I think they go online as soon as they get a phone, right? | ||
| As soon as kids get a phone and they start talking to each other and they understand that the phone gets online, they're online, right? | ||
| So they're exposed to fucking everything. | ||
| You get on Facebook, and if you're doing that, man, if you're getting on Twitter, like, on a daily basis, you're gonna be exposed to some really nutty shit. | ||
| And these fucking kids, like, they're not being prepared for this. | ||
| They're just being thrown into this. | ||
| It's so weird just hearing what my mom, since she's been on the internet recently, because she got the internet like a year ago, just her language, how she talks is different. | ||
| Like, she's talking about retweeting and hashtags, and it's like, my mom never used that language before. | ||
| Somebody made a post on the Rogan board the other day that was so perfect. | ||
| They were like, before the internet, I never had any conversations about feminism. | ||
| I never argued with anybody about transgenders. | ||
| There's like all these things that all of a sudden became an issue because of the internet. | ||
| Where were transgender rights when we were kids? | ||
| There wasn't. | ||
| There was nothing! | ||
| We were allowed to run him over with cars, I thought. | ||
| No, you couldn't do that. | ||
| But there was that Rene Richards, who was a high-profile case, because Rene Richards, is that the name? | ||
| Rene the tennis player. | ||
| Is that the right name? | ||
| It might not be the right name. | ||
| The last name might be off. | ||
| But there was a tennis player who was a man who was not a very good tennis player. | ||
| I should say, not very good as a professional. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it. | |
| That's it? | ||
| That's the right name? | ||
| A lot better than me because I don't play tennis, right? | ||
| So, he became a woman and just started fucking dominating. | ||
| Like, became like a top flight tennis player. | ||
| And a lot of people were like, holy shit. | ||
| Like, how does that work? | ||
| Is that really a woman? | ||
| Like, this was like the precursor to the bullshit about the chick who used to be a dude for 30 years, became a chick for two years, and then started fighting female MMA. With this is a way the female MMA one is a way worse case because you're talking about someone beating the shit out of somebody with male bones and male mind and male tendons and all that jazz but Renee Richards was beating a lot of fucking like really good tennis players That were born women and there was a real controversy behind it where | ||
| people like man, I don't fucking know Like, how, what is, how do you, they should have a transgender league is what they should have. | ||
| They should have transgender, I mean, and transgenders are like, well, we want to be accepted as a regular person. | ||
| Well, you are, but not in fucking sports. | ||
| There's a reason why I can't play. | ||
| Like, and the Olympics is like, they're experiencing social pressure with this. | ||
| This is a big part of it. | ||
| And I think for some sports that don't have anything to do with explosiveness and sheer power, and then you could say like, well, Serena Williams is always going to be stronger and faster than a lot of men. | ||
| It's true, but one of them is Serena or their sister. | ||
| The drug testing people came to their house, they locked themselves in a fucking safe room. | ||
| What do you think that is? | ||
| Do you think they just got done smoking a joint, though? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I do not, Brian. | ||
| I think it's steroids. | ||
| I think it's performance-enhancing drugs. | ||
| I have friends that are girls that take testosterone. | ||
| They're jujitsu girls, and they compete, and they travel all over the place and compete, and they take fucking testosterone. | ||
| Testosterone in the jujitsu world, this is coming from obviously a person who takes testosterone, me. | ||
| Serena Williams locked herself in a panic room in drug test mix-up. | ||
| There was no mix-up! | ||
| She knew what the fuck was going on. | ||
| She's like, there's a stalker! | ||
| Someone's trying to kill me! | ||
| If that chick had a tennis racket, she could beat the fuck out of anyone in the world. | ||
| You think she's really worried about some fucking dork with a pocket protector comes to her house with a piss cup? | ||
| Why can't you just not answer the door? | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| They have rules. | ||
| The USADA. They need to know where you are at all times. | ||
| This is how crazy their rules are. | ||
| Donald Cerrone. | ||
| Who obviously fights for the UFC. He's one of the top pros in the world, right? | ||
| Donald fucking Cerrone gets a call from the USADA while he's doing something for the UFC. He flew to Vegas for the UFC. And they're like, we're at your house. | ||
| We're trying to test you. | ||
| He's like, well, I'm at the UFC. Like, we have to tell us exactly where you are. | ||
| He's like, well, the fucking UFC knows where I am, man. | ||
| I'm here for the UFC. Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| He wasn't there competing. | ||
| He was there to watch. | ||
| But they will tell you. | ||
| You have to tell them where you are in any given day. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| You always have to be able to be reached. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, she fucking knew. | ||
| Yeah, but you think instead of a panic room, she could just be like, I'm not going to answer the door. | ||
| I'm just going to be asleep. | ||
| Because that confirms that she was scared. | ||
| She locks herself in her panic room, and she confirms that she really was scared. | ||
| It's a great escape. | ||
| It's a great excuse. | ||
| Look, it might be the case. | ||
| The guy at the door... | ||
| Look, I might be full of shit. | ||
| The guy at the door might have been some serial killer-looking fuck who also works for the USADA. He might have been swole. | ||
| He might have been scary-looking. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| I don't know, but if I had to guess, that chick is so fucking explosive. | ||
| She's so fast, and it is a ridiculously competitive sport. | ||
| I mean, unbelievably competitive. | ||
| And the money is astronomical. | ||
| You're talking about millions of dollars to be someone like a Serena Williams. | ||
|
unidentified
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Of course she would take steroids if she could get away with it. | |
| If she'd get away with it. | ||
| And she doesn't have a problem with it ethically. | ||
| If she was one of those people that grew up in the world of competitive sports, like she is, they realize, man, it's not a fucking dog-eat-dog world. | ||
| You know, when I had Lance Armstrong on, he didn't want to take steroids. | ||
| He didn't want to do all that stuff. | ||
| But he did it because everybody else was doing it. | ||
| And they realized, like, we gotta do this. | ||
| We wanna win? | ||
| If you wanna win, we gotta fucking do this. | ||
| They all do it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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It works. | |
| And that's why sports suck. | ||
| They don't suck. | ||
| Yeah, because you don't know who's on what and who's doing what. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| You're just watching bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, but that's part of the fun. | ||
| Part of the fun is wondering whether or not a guy's on the juice. | ||
| Did you see Rosie O'Donnell's brother caught what he said about the U.S. Yeah, well, he's gay. | ||
| Rosie O'Donnell's brother's gay. | ||
| And this is what he said. | ||
| He said it's like gay porn with a different ending. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's what gay people would say. | ||
| He looks so funny, though. | ||
| Like, when he's saying it, it's just, it looks like it's fake. | ||
| That's one of those things, like, this is not real. | ||
| This is part of the simulation shit that it's bullshit. | ||
| That video is one of the funniest videos. | ||
| It is quite hilarious. | ||
| It looks like a Saturday Night Live skit. | ||
| He can get away with it because he's gay. | ||
| Gay people have so much more leeway to say gay stuff. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We call everything gay. | ||
| Because it's gay to him. | ||
| To him, it's gay. | ||
| To him, it is like gay porn. | ||
| But do you think there's a huge percentage of people that aren't into the UFC that go, I agree, man, a bunch of guys rolling around. | ||
| Yeah, so what? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| I wouldn't be upset at that guy. | ||
| I mean, I think that guy helped the UFC. Here, let's play it so we can listen to it. | ||
| Because it's so fucker. | ||
| His name is Daniel O'Donnell. | ||
|
unidentified
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You're a naked hot man. | |
| Rolling around on top of one another, trying to dominate each other. | ||
| And just in case you don't know, that's gay porn with a different ending, okay? | ||
| I want to hear what else he says. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
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I won't describe the ending for you, but as I've gotten older, the endings are less important. | |
| Okay, so... | ||
| He's got good delivery. | ||
| Good timing. | ||
|
unidentified
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The aggression and the violence of what that was did not make me necessarily comfortable. | |
| But again, kind of agnostic. | ||
| Then we had a colleague here who was brought before the committee, and I've enjoyed this week's discussion about our rules. | ||
| God, he couldn't be gay. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He looks like John Waters. | ||
| I enjoyed our conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sometimes these processes work. | |
| So what happened? | ||
| We had a colleague here who was deeply offended by what this was. | ||
| Deeply offended. | ||
| Thought it was like the Christians and the lions in Roman times. | ||
| Let's pause this. | ||
| Why do people think that because they get deeply offended by something, they should be able to change what other people enjoy? | ||
| Or they should be able to take freedoms away from people? | ||
| Especially when you're talking about something that's been already licensed and regulated by 49 out of 50 states. | ||
| That this guy could say, I'm offended. | ||
| And I feel like this is like the Christians and the Lions. | ||
| Guess what, dummy? | ||
| First of all, there's two problems with that. | ||
| The Christians didn't have a choice, and the fucking Lions didn't have a choice, and it was to the death, and they didn't train for it, and it wasn't like a huge dream of theirs, and it couldn't be a hugely profitable career where you can make Ronda Rousey, Conor McGregor type money, and Nate Diaz money now, too. | ||
| Our friend Nate Diaz is rolling in cash now. | ||
| Rollin' ballin' out! | ||
| He might not fight again. | ||
| He might beat Conor's ass again if they fight and then take two years off. | ||
| He's making millions of dollars. | ||
| Or not beat Conor's ass. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, Conor can win. | ||
| Just slap him. | ||
| I just had a feeling going into that fight. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| This is a big difference. | ||
| There's a big difference to when Nate Diaz strikes and anybody else that Connors fought. | ||
| Like, Nate is real slick with his hands. | ||
| He's real good at shoulder rolling. | ||
| He's got a nasty jab. | ||
| He drops his hands and sneaks stuff in on you. | ||
| He knows how to, like, throw punches, too, with, like, minimal wind-up. | ||
| He knows how to pop-pop you. | ||
| And he'll ding you, man. | ||
| He dings guys on the chin. | ||
| Like what he did with Michael Johnson, I was like, ooh, this is a tough fight. | ||
| And he's a tough out. | ||
| The only guy that's ever stopped him is Josh Thompson, head kicked him. | ||
| And when Josh Thompson head kicked him, like he still didn't go out. | ||
| He got rocked. | ||
| But he's fucking tough, man. | ||
| I was like, ooh. | ||
| And if it goes to the ground, oh, that's the wrong guy. | ||
| Nate Diaz is the wrong guy to go to the ground with. | ||
| He's a legit. | ||
| Legit black belt. | ||
| A really high-level black belt. | ||
| And I knew Conor had gotten submitted by Joe Duffy. | ||
| Anybody can get submitted if you get caught. | ||
| But he got submitted by that Joe Duffy guy just a few years ago. | ||
| And Joe Duffy's a very talented fighter, no doubt about it, but... | ||
| Nate wouldn't have got submitted by that same guy. | ||
| I highly, highly, highly doubt it. | ||
| I mean, Dos Anjos, that level, there's a few guys where you're like, ooh, if you submit that guy, he's only been submitted in the UFC Dos Anjos once, and that's because he had a broken jaw. | ||
| And it's Clay Guido who submitted him, because Clay was on top of him squeezing his neck, and his jaw was smashed, and he realized he was really fucked, and so he tapped. | ||
| But, like, a guy like Connor, if you've been tapped before by Joe Duffy just a couple years ago with an arm triangle, you got caught like that. | ||
| Like, you've got a lot to learn. | ||
| And I don't know if you've learned it all in time. | ||
| Like, you've got to be obsessed with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You've got to be in there every day training. | ||
| And I didn't think he did. | ||
| I didn't think he was that. | ||
| I thought it was more of, you know, like movement and striking and all that stuff. | ||
| And I know he was doing some jiu-jitsu, but it's not like the primary focus. | ||
| So I felt like, oof, that's a big, deep-end fucking jump. | ||
| He might knock him out. | ||
| I mean, Conor can knock out anybody. | ||
| But he didn't. | ||
| So now that he didn't, and now that Nate knows he didn't, and now they're going to go into the second fight, and Nate's going to have a full training camp, ooh, good luck. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's the benefit of this second fight for Conor? | |
| Cash money, baby! | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it? | |
| That's what I thought. | ||
| Through the roof! | ||
| Cash money! | ||
|
unidentified
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Outside of that, is there any good benefit? | |
| Well, he could always go down to 145 again. | ||
| He's still a champion at 145. But the amount of money a Nate Diaz-Conor McGregor rematch makes is gonna be off the fucking charts. | ||
| Nate Diaz is a superstar, and people didn't realize it. | ||
| Until, like, the Michael Johnson fight, people realized it, when he was calling out Conor in the octagon, and everybody was cheering. | ||
| And also, like, the ratings. | ||
| Like, when Nate Diaz... | ||
| He's a fuck... | ||
| You know, there was a big thing where Dana White had said that he's not a needle mover. | ||
| You know, he's when they were in the middle of contract negotiations. | ||
| He couldn't be further from the truth. | ||
| He's a big needle. | ||
| I love Dana, but that's just contract negotiation talk. | ||
| Maybe he didn't know. | ||
| It's possible he didn't know, but I know. | ||
| Because the Diaz brothers, as far as my friends that are casual MMA fans, the Diaz brothers are fucking huge. | ||
| They're huge! | ||
| Those guys are giant stars! | ||
| And after Nick, like, pretended to sleep with Anderson Silva, they talk mad shit. | ||
| They actually can fight. | ||
| They fight very good. | ||
| I mean, they're excellent world-class fighters, and they talk mad shit, and they smoke a lot of weed, and they mostly eat vegan. | ||
| I think Nick might be all vegan. | ||
| I think Nick still eats fish, but I know Nate eats fish. | ||
| And I think they eat eggs too. | ||
| They eat tortillas and stuff that's made with eggs. | ||
| But they're interesting guys, man. | ||
| They're fucking legit, fascinating people. | ||
| So, like, there's money, my point is. | ||
| That guy's out of his mind. | ||
| This isn't the Christian versus the Lions. | ||
| This is a huge sport. | ||
| These guys are giant stars. | ||
| They're making fucking boatloads of cash. | ||
| Ronda Rousey was on the goddamn cover of Sports Illustrated with one of those paint things on. | ||
| Paint titties? | ||
| How's that okay? | ||
| How's that okay? | ||
| Can I paint my cock? | ||
| If I paint my cock, can I go out there? | ||
| Is that alright? | ||
| Do you make it look like an elephant or a chicken? | ||
| There's a line there, right? | ||
| It's like a woman's nipples. | ||
| You cannot show a woman's nipples on the cover of a magazine. | ||
| Well, how come you can show them painted on? | ||
| Why do we decide that painted on is okay? | ||
| What you're looking at right there is a naked Ronda Rousey with a fake swimsuit on. | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| So, like, her vagina, I'm assuming, like most girls, you could see some of it from the front, right? | ||
| Can we spit- can we zoom in on the vagina? | ||
| Let's not do that, Brian. | ||
| Let's be respectful here. | ||
| For her sake and for Travis Brown's sake, because if he finds you, he'll fucking kill you. | ||
| So, oh, it's a cool thing, though. | ||
| It's like a cat. | ||
| They had, like, a cat design. | ||
| I didn't notice that. | ||
| That's good, because at the bottom could be a hairy chin. | ||
| See? | ||
| They thought about that in advance. | ||
| She had to probably tuck in some lip, I'm guessing. | ||
| Maybe not, man. | ||
| Maybe she's one of those tidy girls. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that rude? | ||
| Is it rude to say? | ||
| But my point is, Rhonda knows I love her. | ||
| My point is, I can't do that with my cock. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so cool. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I could wear, like, I could get a full-on hard-on and put Lycra on, put, like, spandex on, and put it online, and people would say I was offensive, right? | ||
| But it would be okay. | ||
| Like, that was what the game did. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Jamie, you're a rap fan. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
|
unidentified
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He had an Instagram post. | |
| Yeah, he put an Instagram post. | ||
| He's got a hog like a fucking police flashlight. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He took a picture of him standing there with a fucking boner. | ||
| Oh, they won't even show it in this. | ||
| Some of them, there's one that shows it. | ||
|
unidentified
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You got in trouble. | |
| Yeah, look at this! | ||
| Jesus! | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus! | |
| Well, he's holding on to it in one. | ||
| He's warming it up. | ||
| And then number two... | ||
| He's just showing it there. | ||
| I mean, to be honest, even as a guy, that's scary. | ||
| He's a large person, too. | ||
| He's a large human. | ||
| So that's like, but he can't fight. | ||
| There's a video of him beating some guy up, and I'm like, oh, dude, we need to work on some stuff with you. | ||
| We need to work on your technique. | ||
| I mean, he can fight, but he can't. | ||
| He doesn't know actual techniques. | ||
| Like Cat Williams fight. | ||
| He's not as good as Cat Williams. | ||
| Cat defended the choke. | ||
| If you notice, when they went to the ground, Cat never got strangled. | ||
| He held on. | ||
| He had two on one. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to do. | ||
| And the way he threw that left hand, I gotta say, there was zero power behind it. | ||
| It probably wouldn't knock out my seven-year-old. | ||
| But there was no fat in his technique. | ||
| Like, he didn't wind up. | ||
| He just uncorked it from here. | ||
| And it was a straight punch. | ||
| He uncorked a very short, straight left hand. | ||
| With a ring on, too, which is like a deadly weapon. | ||
| When you see the extended version of the video, it definitely seems like he was threatened. | ||
| It seemed like that kid was up in his face. | ||
| He followed him for whatever reason. | ||
| Well, that's unfortunate. | ||
| And the kid apparently said, Cat Williams is funnier. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| Why do people want to do that? | ||
| Like, why does the kid want to do that? | ||
| It's Worldstar. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's goddamn Worldstar hip-hop. | ||
| We're gonna play the full version? | ||
| See, here we go. | ||
| The kid gets in his face. | ||
| Yeah, see, this version, it looks like he's just fighting with a kid. | ||
| See, but how come we miss all the other stuff up until this? | ||
| The kids got very good control. | ||
| Actually, no, terrible defense. | ||
| I take it back. | ||
| He was already choked out. | ||
| He didn't go to the hands. | ||
| Oh, that's not his hands. | ||
| He's got one. | ||
| Okay, he doesn't have two on one. | ||
| He's not holding the choking arm either. | ||
| He's calling him little boy. | ||
| Little boy. | ||
|
unidentified
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They were playing soccer on a field or something like that with, I don't know, looks like 20 people or something like that. | |
| He's got a Desquad shirt on. | ||
| It does look like a Desquad shirt. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| That'd be good. | ||
| We should Photoshop one and all of the photos of him. | ||
| Put that online. | ||
| Why was he playing soccer with some kids? | ||
| Well, how about why not? | ||
| If he wants to be friendly. | ||
| I mean, Cat Williams is a gigantic star. | ||
| At the end, he's just saying he was hanging out with people in the hood, and this is why most people, most celebrities don't come and hang out in the hood. | ||
|
unidentified
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So he's just hanging out with people. | |
| Well, that's unfortunate. | ||
| It looked like there was definitely some confrontation going on, but who knows how the fuck it built up to that? | ||
| And you gotta expect that, especially if he's involved in sports. | ||
| He's playing sports with people. | ||
| People play sports, they talk shit, you know? | ||
| That choke on the subway here in Culver City was way better. | ||
| Did you see that one? | ||
| That was better, but even then, why is that guy grabbing his forearm like that? | ||
| Like, dude. | ||
| Don't grab your forearm like that. | ||
| That's not how you do it. | ||
| That's like some wrestling type shit. | ||
| Like a wrestling sleeper hold. | ||
| But he did it, right? | ||
| I mean, he squeezed that guy out. | ||
| And he wasn't just a normal guy. | ||
| He wasn't like a jiu-jitsu guy or a fighter or anything like that. | ||
| He was just a normal dude. | ||
| That's why I grabbed it wrong. | ||
| You saw Dexter? | ||
| No way. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, I'm just kidding. | |
| It does seem weird that jujitsu moves, like choking and stuff like that, seems so common now since the UFC. You didn't see this shit 20 years ago, people doing chokes. | ||
| Well, in high school, we had a sleeper hold, because it was on pro wrestling, but we didn't think it was real. | ||
| You'd hear about the sleeper, he's got the sleeper! | ||
| Guys would get guys in a sleeper hold in a pro wrestling match, and they would fight it off and fight it off, and then they eventually would go to sleep, and the referee would pick their arm up to make sure they were awake. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But we didn't think it was real. | ||
| No one knew that you could really choke someone out until the UFC came around. | ||
| You can't do that anymore in high school, can you? | ||
| There's no more sleeper. | ||
| No, that was not in wrestling wrestling. | ||
| It was only in pro wrestling. | ||
| In wrestling wrestling, you couldn't even do a full Nelson because it puts too much pressure on the neck. | ||
| You could do a half Nelson. | ||
| So if you're trying to pin someone, what that means is if you're behind them, you get an underhook and you go around the back of their head. | ||
| And you get a full Nelson as you have both arms and it's a bad place to be. | ||
| It hurts. | ||
| They could push down your neck and they made that illegal. | ||
| When I was in high school at least. | ||
| And so if you wanted to pin someone you had to use a half Nelson. | ||
| So you could never do a fucking sleeper hold. | ||
| But there's some shit they didn't know about that you can do. | ||
| Matt Hughes choked out Ricardo Almeida with just a front headlock. | ||
| What he did was he held on to the front headlock. | ||
| Matt Hughes is fucking country strong. | ||
| There's some dudes that grow up... | ||
| young, like lifting bales of hay and learning how to use their body. | ||
| And also he had excellent genetics too, because his brother was built like that too. | ||
| But there's like some strength that those type of guys have, like farm strength. | ||
| That shit's no joke, man. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of kettlebell guys like Pavel Tatsui. | ||
| He's got that kind of build, too, where it's like you know that if you try to wrestle with him, even though he looks like a fairly normal-sized athlete, he's probably just stupid fucking strong. | ||
| And so Matt Hughes... | ||
| Gets his front headlock on Ricardo Almeida. | ||
| That is a legal wrestling move. | ||
| That's fucking legal, as far as I know. | ||
| Unless they've changed shit, because all he's doing is grabbing his neck, and Matt's using his head and his neck to squeeze the shoulder and arm of Ricardo Almeida against his neck on one side, and then he's using his arm and his shoulder to squeeze the neck on the other side. | ||
| So it's essentially the same thing as a head and arm choke. | ||
| He's just in a different position. | ||
| So, like, he's in the north-south position from a stand-up, which means he grabs his head and he pulls him down, and Matt's got the upper hand. | ||
| His arm is wrapped around Ricardo's neck. | ||
| Now, if they were reversed on the ground, that position where Ricardo is being choked is essentially the same as a head and arm choke, which is a super common choke, and you finish it the same way, with the hand grip in the same way. | ||
| You could easily finish it that way. | ||
| Some guys grab the bicep, but the way Matt's doing it, a lot of guys finish it that way. | ||
| So... | ||
| He would be different, like he would be mounting him, where his body would be on top of his body instead of like in a north-south position. | ||
| But it's essentially the same way you're applying pressure to choke someone unconscious. | ||
| We had never seen that in UFC before, nor since. | ||
| No one's been able to do it since. | ||
| My point being, there's some wrestling shit that's still out there that you could still do, but a guy like Matt Hughes could choke you out with it. | ||
| Mark Schultz got kicked out of the Olympics because he ripped a guy's fucking shoulder apart with a move that was legal at the time. | ||
| It was like a Kimura. | ||
| They call it a double wrist lock in catch wrestling, but if you pull up Mark Schultz... | ||
| God, I forget the gentleman's name. | ||
| I think the guy wrestled... | ||
| I want to say he was from Iran. | ||
| Iran has a very strong wrestling program, but Mark Schultz was a fucking gorilla. | ||
| When he was competing, he's the guy that Foxcatcher movies based on. | ||
| But meanwhile, not really based on him. | ||
| I mean, it is and it isn't. | ||
| They played fast and loose with a lot of facts. | ||
| Made it look like he was gay and he's doing coke and he had frosted tips and all kinds of weird shit in there. | ||
| But that move, as far as I knew, he just took it too far or something. | ||
| But I think it was a legal move. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch what he does to this dude. | ||
| He drops, he gets the Kimura, he yanks it, and he pulls him down, just destroys his arm. | ||
| Just destroys him. | ||
| Yeah, and the guy is just screaming in agony on the ground. | ||
| Back in the day, ABC Wild World Sports, I think, wasn't it? | ||
| They don't have that shit anymore. | ||
| Remember you used to get exposed to weird sports? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would take you to like a javelin contest. | ||
| Like, hmm, ABC Wide World of Sports. | ||
| They would show you all kinds of different shit that you'd never seen before. | ||
| Like they had Minnesota Fats play Willie Moscone in a pool match on ABC Wide World of Sports. | ||
| Like, whoa, they're going to show us some cool shit today. | ||
| I saw a VR pool demo the other day from that Vive thing I showed you a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Someone just made a full pool game where you're walking around a pool hall and you can set up a bunch of trick shots. | ||
| It looks a little gamey, but you can have beer bottles and whatnot on the table and shoot your pool balls right through the bottles. | ||
| I saw it at Best Buy. | ||
| There's this new camera out. | ||
| It's only like $400, but it's a 360 camera, so you could just put it right here, and it records everything around it. | ||
| Have you seen this, Jamie? | ||
| I don't know if it's good or not, but that's kind of interesting. | ||
| It is interesting. | ||
| I mean, look, it's just a matter of time. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| This is bizarre. | ||
| Oh, so it's showing you the angles and stuff? | ||
| So you can just walk around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you want the angles, you can. | |
| But everything in the whole room is available to touch, apparently, or at least to a certain extent. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Set up ramps. | |
| Well, what would be really interesting is if you could somehow set this up with other people and have virtual balls. | ||
| But the problem is you wouldn't feel the ball, like the whole idea of pool. | ||
| See, what they're doing is just showing the shots, like landing the shots. | ||
| But what pool's really all about is controlling the rotation of the ball and cue ball control. | ||
| There's a little feedback, a little bit of touchy you get, but I don't know if they can make it feel the same. | ||
| You could never. | ||
| You would need weight. | ||
| What pool is, there's a big thing about it, is the weight of the cue. | ||
| Guys will change their weight just a little bit, and they feel it in a big way. | ||
| They'll go from a 19.1 ounce cue to a 19.3, and they're like, man, I'm over-stroking this ball. | ||
| I've got to back off. | ||
| We're talking about two-tenths of an ounce, and it's a big difference in the way it feels. | ||
| Or if you go from one ounce, one ounce is giant. | ||
| You go from a 19 to a 20, holy shit. | ||
| That's a big difference for people. | ||
| You would think, one ounce, how would you even notice? | ||
| You'd hold it in your hand. | ||
| After a while, you wouldn't even notice, right? | ||
| No, you notice. | ||
| You notice in a big way. | ||
| So that's, I don't know if that would work. | ||
| But some shit would work on. | ||
| I think once they figure out how to do some sort of a neurological input thing, then you're going to be able to play on a computer. | ||
| You're going to be able to feel the keys. | ||
| You're going to be able to, like, if you pole vault, you'll be able to feel the pole. | ||
| You'll be able to feel the breeze as you go launching through the air. | ||
| All that stuff's going to happen. | ||
| Video game version of you on UFC 2 is so creepy awesome that I love it. | ||
| And just the idea of imagine taking that version of you by mixing the podcast with it. | ||
| You probably could do something like that. | ||
| It would be so real. | ||
| Well, you know why I did that? | ||
| I got out of doing more commentary to do that. | ||
| Commentary in a video game is painstaking. | ||
| It's one of the easiest things. | ||
| See, that's me from my new ketogenic diet. | ||
| I'm all shredded now. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| There's a guy that beat every single player using you in a two-hour sitting while talking, doing a podcast while he's playing you. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's so cool, and it's real. | ||
| You hid that from all of us, too. | ||
| None of us knew about that. | ||
| No, I didn't tell anybody. | ||
| I was supposed to be quiet about it. | ||
| So I had to take off all my clothes and put shorts on. | ||
| And then they spin. | ||
| You stand totally still. | ||
| And you have to go through a series of poses. | ||
| And so you hold your arms out like that. | ||
| You hold your arms out like that. | ||
| You do certain movements. | ||
| I don't think I had a kick. | ||
| I don't think I had to throw any kicks. | ||
| I'm trying to remember now. | ||
| But your kick in the game looks like your kick, though. | ||
| It looks pretty real. | ||
| The techniques, they've all analyzed the techniques, the jiu-jitsu techniques, they're all super good. | ||
| The wrestling techniques, boxing and kicking, it's all really good fundamentals. | ||
| Everybody, even guys who have wonky fundamentals in this game, their fundamentals are really good. | ||
| They did such a good job also of really making the experience this time around. | ||
| Just like the ring girls walking in the background. | ||
| Just like everything. | ||
| It's like creepy how good they did. | ||
| It's creepy. | ||
| The live experience. | ||
| It's getting better and better. | ||
| They're getting so good at this shit. | ||
| You know, they're getting close to what they call that uncanny valley. | ||
| They're crossing that uncanny valley. | ||
| That's that expression that someone came up with. | ||
| The difference between artificial videos and videos like this and 3D video games and then real people. | ||
| When I did that sci-fi show, the Questions Everything show, we went to NVIDIA, and we saw the latest in their ability to recreate a person's face. | ||
| And they still had problems with tongues. | ||
| Tongues were a big one. | ||
| And hair. | ||
| And some hair just... | ||
| And eyes, like eyeballs, where your eyeball connects to your eyelashes and your eyelid... | ||
| That looked a little funky. | ||
| But everything else, man. | ||
| They did it with a bald guy. | ||
| And fuck, dude. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| When you look at it, you're like, that's not a real guy? | ||
| Like, it's so close. | ||
| They're so close. | ||
| They're like knocking on this door. | ||
| Where they're going to be able to recreate things and you're not going to be able to know whether or not you're watching something that's completely computer generated or something that's real. | ||
| And they did something recently that I tweeted a couple days ago, or maybe yesterday, where this guy superimposed his facial expressions on George Bush. | ||
| And so he said things and put words into George Bush's mouth that George Bush never said. | ||
| So they show the video. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's so awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| It's creepy. | ||
| Dude, we're not going to know. | ||
| We're so close. | ||
| That's probably already happened. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| 100%, right? | ||
| Like, blurry shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you're just not going to know. | ||
| You're just not going to know what's real and what's fake. | ||
| You just won't know. | ||
| Yeah, there's gonna have to be like seals of approvals or something like that. | ||
| That's like, we're saying that this is real. | ||
| Like, there's gonna be half... | ||
| Videos are gonna be like stories. | ||
| It's like, you're not gonna know whether or not... | ||
| If you tell me some crazy story, I'm not gonna know whether or not it's real. | ||
| I'm like, alright, you say so. | ||
| That's what a video's gonna be like. | ||
| Like, you're watching this video of George Bush. | ||
| It's gonna be like someone telling you a story about being abducted by a UFO. Alright, where's your proof? | ||
| Well, I'll show you the video. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everyone's gonna be like, get out of here with your fucking video. | ||
| That video could be fake as hell. | ||
| You could've made that on your phone. | ||
| Well, the face swap app and shit that's on the phone, even that shit's crazy. | ||
| And that's just a little stupid program. | ||
| How about the ones when they put tongues on people? | ||
| Like, look how it's doing this. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| And he's obviously exaggerating. | ||
| He's making, like, big smiles and weird side-to-side motions with his face. | ||
| Just to show that they could do that. | ||
| But I guess how it works is, they take a three-dimensional moving video of this guy's face, and as he's moving around, they take a three-dimensional image of the other person's face, and they map out where his mouth is and what the shape of his mouth is, and they just have that guy's mouth do the movements of the other guy. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| The smiles are off, though. | ||
| If you see, like, Putin's smile. | ||
| Like, Donald Trump's looks fake as fuck. | ||
| Because he's got such a weird mouth. | ||
| Like, his range of motion in his mouth is like an old lady trying to do the splits. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| His mouth doesn't move very much. | ||
| He's got a small mouth, Donald Trump. | ||
| What a crazy technology. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Well, they did this with Reagan way back in the day with audio. | ||
| There was a thing where someone had taken a series of Ronald Reagan speeches. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they had edited the audio to show that, you know, for Ronald Reagan to make some ridiculous statement. | ||
| Got all about that. | ||
| It's old school. | ||
| It was old school, and they played it on TV, and we were like, whoa. | ||
| I remember watching that going, whoa. | ||
| Nancy. | ||
| Remix Ronald Reagan's speech went viral years before internet memes. | ||
| Damn, that was a long-ass time ago. | ||
| You know what else went viral? | ||
| Richard Gere and the gerbil story. | ||
| That's the real viral story. | ||
| Sour cream and Taco Bell. | ||
| I don't know what that one is. | ||
| Somebody ate cum from a Taco Bell burrito or something like that. | ||
| They probably did. | ||
| I guarantee that happened. | ||
| But the Richard Gere gerbil thing was a much better example because it's a story that Eddie Bravo heard. | ||
| He grew up in California. | ||
| I grew up, I heard it in Boston. | ||
| We heard it on the other side of the country. | ||
| I mean, this fucking story, everybody knew it. | ||
| You heard it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I almost think it was a Howard Stern thing. | ||
| It was a Scientology thing, supposedly. | ||
| That's the rumor. | ||
| Yeah, the rumor was Richard Gere left Scientology and Scientology decided to fucking drag him through the mud. | ||
| Yeah, well, I think Scientology does not like it when you leave. | ||
| And that's why people stay. | ||
| Like, the people that have left, they fucking go after you, man. | ||
| They go after you hard. | ||
| And the people that do leave, most of the time, they just shut the fuck up. | ||
| But the people that have left, that have talked shit about them... | ||
| Woo! | ||
| They'll wait outside your house. | ||
| They'll fucking make noise. | ||
| They'll follow you around. | ||
| Like, those videos of these guys getting harassed that were former Scientologists, and now the Scientology crew showed up at their house, and they filmed these people, and they don't understand, like, how creepy that is to us, watching that. | ||
| Like, wait a minute, you can't leave? | ||
| Like, you can't quit. | ||
| And if you do quit, you can't talk about what happened? | ||
| Like, what are you guys doing? | ||
| Like, what are you guys doing that we can't talk about this? | ||
| Like, what kind of nuttiness? | ||
| Do you really have kids working for fucking $3 an hour, and you make them work 16 hours a day, and you have them, like, that guy's, was his niece or something like that? | ||
| The David Miscavige guy? | ||
| Like, one of his relatives released a book. | ||
| And, you know, she's talking about how fucking crazy it is growing up in this environment. | ||
| Like, you can't talk about that? | ||
| Well, as soon as you can't talk about something, you know you got a real problem. | ||
| Because you could talk about being a Baptist. | ||
| Like, you could talk all day about growing up in a Baptist church. | ||
| Nobody's gonna fucking come after you, because they're not doing anything crazy. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, even though it's a religion, too, as soon as you can't talk about what you guys are doing, like, you can't, someone can't complain about what you're doing, I mean, think about if that applied to the Catholic Church. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It seems like that day's coming, though, when that shit gets exposed to being something Cosby-like. | ||
| We're going to find way more about Scientology or Tom Cruise or all these people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I think it's definitely gonna be harder for them to get people to listen. | ||
| It used to be easy. | ||
| Before the internet, you just had to have a bunch of successful people that were part of a group that were really friendly, and you wanted to be a part of it, and you wanted to get in there with them. | ||
| And the next thing you know, you have thousands and thousands of members. | ||
| It wasn't hard to do back then. | ||
| But now, Like, you don't have to wait until you're ten years in to find out about the Thetans and the fucking planet where the bodies are, or they fucking drop them into the volcano and they're frozen or whatever. | ||
| Like, if you read the actual story that L. Ron Hubbard wrote as detailed in that Going Clear movie where the guy first read it, and he was like, what in the fuck is this? | ||
| You can get that now. | ||
| So it's harder to get people to join now with something totally wacky. | ||
| But there's some other shit, like, what is Landmark? | ||
| People keep telling me this Landmark. | ||
| Have you heard of Landmark? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Movie theaters? | |
| No! | ||
| Jesus Christ, Jamie. | ||
| Are you hanging out with him? | ||
| No, there's like some, there's some fucking, some sort of a cult. | ||
| Am I saying the name wrong? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Landmark. | |
| There's another type of social group that a bunch of people are tweeting me. | ||
| They were saying that Robin Quivers is in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Landmark Forum? | |
| Yes. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And people are saying that this is some sort of a cult. | ||
| Is that bullshit? | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| Some self-help thing? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| It's just a message board? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Landmark Forum is a large group awareness training program in which up to 150 people take a seminar together aimed at helping them realize their true potential. | |
| It sounds like something. | ||
| Yeah, it sounds like one of those self-help guru things, which may be okay. | ||
| I mean, are any of those legit? | ||
| I mean, Anthony Robbins is pretty fucking legit, right? | ||
| I mean, people have used his principles, and they've gotten ahead, and that guy's been around forever. | ||
| So if he was like a total bullshit act creeper... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You would have heard about it by now. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I mean, look at Bill Cosby. | ||
| Maybe he was a way less level creeper. | ||
| It just gives massages to people inappropriately. | ||
| It doesn't take it any further than that. | ||
| Foot guy. | ||
| He's just a foot guy. | ||
| He just gives unannounced back rubs, just shows up and starts rubbing your back, and everyone's like, um, does he go any further than that? | ||
| Nope, nope. | ||
| He just gives you the weird back rub, and that's it. | ||
| You know, it's weird when I got this watch, I got the Apple watch, and when you're setting it up, it says male, female, or other. | ||
| And I was like, welcome to the new world. | ||
| You can be another. | ||
| I'm a foxkin. | ||
| Is it on there? | ||
| Because if it's not, I'm fucking complaining. | ||
| I'm going to sue Apple. | ||
| I'm foxkin. | ||
| What's foxkin? | ||
| Is that your spirit animal? | ||
| Yes, my spirit animal is a fox. | ||
| There was a guy who fucking got his license at the DMV in Portland, and they let him wear a fox hat. | ||
| Like a fake, like fox, like a furry would wear. | ||
| Coon hat? | ||
| We had like, no. | ||
| Like he had like a fox eyeballs and ears. | ||
| Like, look at it. | ||
| There's a photo. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| There's a photo of him at the DMV getting his fucking photograph. | ||
| And everybody's like, well, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Is it any more ridiculous than what's that thing that Muslim women wear? | ||
| Hijab? | ||
| Yeah, look at this guy. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's wearing a fucking fox hat! | ||
| Ah! | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Edgar Campuzano? | ||
| Is that his name down there? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| No, that's the guy who wrote the story. | ||
| How the hell... | ||
| What is the gentleman's name? | ||
| We need to give him props. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| It just says a Portland man. | ||
| It doesn't say his name? | ||
| Aw, come on, man. | ||
| It says Bishop. | ||
| Wait, Bishop. | ||
| Bishop. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| It says Bishop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't say it. | |
| It says his name. | ||
| It's just Bishop. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It goes by Bishop. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, that's even better. | ||
| It's got one name. | ||
| He's like Oprah. | ||
| His name is Bishop. | ||
| Pull it up so you can see the photo. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so great. | |
| Now, do you think that's just like his girlfriend worked at the DMV? I bet that's more about it. | ||
| Well, it took time to grow that beard. | ||
| Look at that beard he's got. | ||
| That's a weird Fu Manchu style, long goat beard. | ||
| He's got one of those... | ||
| Have you ever seen a turkey beard? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Turkeys have this weird thing. | ||
| They grow out of the middle of their chest. | ||
| It's like this long beard. | ||
| The longer it is, the older the turkey is. | ||
| So it becomes, I guess, a part of the way they strut. | ||
| They wear that big turkey thing, a beard. | ||
| Um, so, that's like they let the other turkey know, bitch, I've been around! | ||
| Look at all these fucking medals I got! | ||
| You know, like, as it grows, that's what that guy's got growing off his chin. | ||
| So, it's highly possible he's out of his fucking mind. | ||
| That dude looks like the Oregon, like what Oregon people look like, kind of. | ||
| Like the Oregon State Bird, almost. | ||
| Well, why shouldn't that guy be able to wear that fox hat? | ||
| Because there was a girl at South by Southwest who was a fencer. | ||
| She's a competitive fencer. | ||
| She wanted to wear a full head garb in the photos and they were like no you have to take that off And so South by Southwest had to apologize because they asked her to take her religious clothing off Well this guy should go to South by Southwest to wear his fucking fox hat. | ||
| We should all do that because it's all ridiculous It's all ridiculous like any clothing that you have to wear and you have to take your photos with that clothing in order for you to be free Religion's made up, okay? | ||
| So any clothing that you wear, any fanatical garb that you wear when you go somewhere, that's made up shit. | ||
| So if that's made up shit, you should be able to say you're a foxkin. | ||
| You should be able to wear an octopus on your head everywhere you go. | ||
| There are reasons you're not supposed to have anything on your head because you have to see what you look like with no, you know, what you look like normal, like base. | ||
| So if we're looking for you, we know what you're... | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| I mean, that's security. | ||
| There's a reason why you have an ID in the first place. | ||
| Because... | ||
| There's a lot of people, like, if you put on, like, a face mask, like a skier wears, where it's like, it shows you, like, from the eyebrows up is covered, and from, like, the mouth down is covered. | ||
| Fuck, man! | ||
| You could be a million different people! | ||
| It's so hard to tell who you are without seeing your whole face. | ||
| The shape of your head, the color of your hair, the whole deal. | ||
| There's a lot of people that look fucking similar as hell. | ||
| And so to have an ID and allow someone to wear some really elaborate costume where most of your head's covered and you say you do it because of your religion, like... | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, they're apologizing to her because of the wacky rules that she follows don't allow you to show your head? | ||
| Like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's 2016, folks! | ||
| I mean, come on! | ||
| At what point in time, like, religious tolerance, it's so important, religious tolerance, we have to be tolerant, unless they're Christian. | ||
| If they're Christian, you can shit right in their mouth, and you can make the side of the cross with your shit on their forehead and no one cares. | ||
| That's the one religion where it's totally okay to mock openly and make fun of. | ||
| You think you're a goofball, but if you wanted to walk into South by Southwest with a Pope hat on, because you said that's part of your religion. | ||
| I'm Pope in training. | ||
| I'm really low level right now, but I'm just gonna stick. | ||
| You know, like you are what you believe you are, so I'm just gonna wear this everywhere. | ||
| I'm gonna wear a giant with a fish head one. | ||
| The big one, where it looks like an open mouth, a fish mouth. | ||
| No, we need tolerance. | ||
| We need tolerance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He won his appeal, though. | |
| He got to keep his hat. | ||
| Yes, he should! | ||
| He totally should! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| He should get to keep it! | ||
| And that's why I'm gonna wear a bandana like a pirate. | ||
| I'm gonna say I'm pirate life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait. | |
| I'm pirate as fuck. | ||
| I'm gonna wear my pirate as fuck caveman coffee t-shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see that Hulk Hogan was the only guy to win a court case with a durag on in court? | |
| Excellent. | ||
| This has made him look classy. | ||
| The black bandana to go with his black suit. | ||
| I thought it was a classy look. | ||
| And I'm a big fan of his now that he won $150 million plus. | ||
| He won another $25 million. | ||
| You see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Supposedly, what is it, Gawker? | ||
| Supposedly going out of business now. | ||
| Gee, how weird. | ||
| I thought they would have unlimited money. | ||
| Just being dicks to a guy and making videos. | ||
| The CEO has to pay $10 million or something out of his own money. | ||
| Yeah, but he's like super rich. | ||
| Yeah, apparently, you know, it's gonna cost him 10 million bucks, but he's got like a hundred million. | ||
| The whole thing's hilarious. | ||
| His haircut is so awesome. | ||
| Look, for him, like, this is a win-win. | ||
| I mean, this guy's, he's theater. | ||
| Hulk Hogan is theater. | ||
| Everything is theater. | ||
| Did you hear the part in the questioning about his 10-inch penis that he said? | ||
| Yeah, his hog's not as big as the game's. | ||
| The game doesn't even have to go to court. | ||
| It's like, look, bitch, you know how big my dick is. | ||
| Unless it's a fake dick. | ||
| The only thing they could do is they'd have to have some sort of a deposition where he pulls it out and shows you. | ||
| But he might be a shower or a grower and not a shower. | ||
| So he might have to get worked up to prove it. | ||
| You're completely right. | ||
| Or it's just fake. | ||
| He just grabbed some girl's dildo, put in his shorts, took a photo just to make everyone go, oh my god, look how big of a dick it is. | ||
| I mean, I've done that. | ||
| It seems connect- well, that's you, though. | ||
| You gotta understand. | ||
| You're unusual. | ||
| And it's not- it's connected. | ||
| Like, the dick is connected to him. | ||
| Like, if you look at it, it's obviously- like, it doesn't look like a- if it was a dildo, there'd be like a drop-off point at the base, and you're like, wait a minute, how exactly is this thing attached? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, they have the ones that you stick onto the side of the wall of the shower. | ||
| Maybe just went like on his- Could be. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Like he tucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He tucked and had that one, too. | ||
| But even if he stuck it in, it would be going forward. | ||
| It wouldn't be off to the side like that. | ||
| When you have spandex, you probably just put it to the side. | ||
| It's one of those long double-ended ones, you know? | ||
| Like the long snake one. | ||
| It's not connected, though. | ||
| Look, I stared at his dick very carefully. | ||
| And from what I'm seeing, it's a real dick. | ||
| And it goes with his body. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's not like Tony Hinchcliffe has a fucking oatmeal box in his pants. | ||
| That's Quaker Oats box. | ||
| Somebody had that expression for it. | ||
| Somebody had that description. | ||
| I thought it was the funniest description ever. | ||
| Quaker Oats box for a dick. | ||
| Well, who is this? | ||
| See, look, he's holding it even. | ||
| The game? | ||
| This is another one? | ||
| That looks even faker. | ||
| No, that looks like he's fully hard. | ||
| Dude, that guy's giant. | ||
| He's got a giant dick. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| You know that shit's real. | ||
| You want it to be real. | ||
| No. | ||
| I want... | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| See, that could just be... | ||
| I like how he's got marijuana leaf tattooed right above his dick. | ||
| Like, what's that supposed to mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Smoke it? | ||
| Smoke it if you got it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All the hashtags he has on there. | |
| On his body? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, on the... | |
| Oh, my dick. | ||
| This dick will change your life. | ||
| Drops, Mike. | ||
|
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|
Look at his hashtags! | |
| This dick will make you restructure your day. | ||
| This dick can keep them edges slicked down. | ||
| This dick can file your nails. | ||
| This dick, this tongue will make you late for work. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| This dick can be your best friend. | ||
| This dick can sew in bundles. | ||
| I'm not sure what that means. | ||
| If you can, I'll eat your pussy. | ||
| You can take the whole thing. | ||
| Can you not? | ||
| Hashtag, if you can, I'll eat your pussy. | ||
| Till scandal comes back on next week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| That's one hashtag. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| Hashtag dick game strong. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I love this world. | ||
| Somebody figured out a way to distribute information through fucking pipes and numbers. | ||
| It's decoded back into letters, ones and zeros. | ||
| And this is when it came to hashtag Dick Game Strong. | ||
| That's what it's being used for. | ||
| It's being used for... | ||
| Oh, God, what a beautiful world. | ||
| I love how communication has turned into animated GIFs and hashtags. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| We live in funny times, man. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| The amount of funny that we get on a daily basis is way higher than when we were kids. | ||
| Just all these hilarious animated GIFs, anytime anything goes wrong or anything happens in the world, these fucking things are hilarious, and most of them are being made by regular folks who have a funny idea. | ||
| They're not being made by professionals. | ||
| Which kind of shows you what we have said all along. | ||
| There's a lot of funny people out there that don't ever do anything about it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They don't ever become like... | ||
| Look, Eddie Bravo is one of the funniest fucking people I've ever met in my life. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| But until he started doing our podcast, most people just knew him as a jiu-jitsu instructor. | ||
| I'm like, Eddie Bravo is fucking funny. | ||
| Like, stand-up comedian funny. | ||
| But he was busy with a bunch of other shit and never pursued it. | ||
| He actually did a couple of times. | ||
| If I remember, I heard he was pretty good. | ||
| He did well a few times. | ||
| He had nine sets. | ||
| He did it nine times, and out of those nine times... | ||
| A few of them were like the Hindenburg. | ||
| A few of them were like, he just wanted to just quit life. | ||
| They were bad. | ||
| A few of them were bad. | ||
| It just didn't work. | ||
| But a few of them were funny, man. | ||
| There was a few of them that were really funny. | ||
| And then there was other ones that were like a little, a mix. | ||
| A mix of like really funny and some stuff that didn't work. | ||
| But man, it's like everything else in this world. | ||
| It seems way easier than it is. | ||
| It just does. | ||
| Like you look at bowling. | ||
| You just grab that stupid ball and roll it. | ||
| How hard could that be? | ||
| Obviously, it's hard. | ||
| Because, you know, they have pros. | ||
| Like, they have tournaments. | ||
| They play on TV. They roll the ball better than the other people roll the ball. | ||
| Just, like, subtle nuances. | ||
| They have special shoes. | ||
| They slide when they release the ball. | ||
| They have gloves, and they spin the ball as they release it, and they want it to hit the front pin in this perfect way, and... | ||
| It seems so fucking easy. | ||
| If you're outside looking on the outside in at bowling, you'd be like, eh, I can fucking do that. | ||
| But if you've never bowled in your life and you go out and try it, holy shit are you gonna be bad, right? | ||
| Same thing with everything, man. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| You name it. | ||
| Things that look easy. | ||
| Like that fucking gay guy talking about gay porn, like, with a different ending. | ||
| Do you think his speeches are... | ||
| That's not easy. | ||
| Like, what that guy's doing, the way he's doing it, even though it's silly and gay and he's got jokes thrown in there, like... | ||
| His fucking delivery is pretty goddamn smooth. | ||
| It's pretty funny. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Like, and he knows what he's doing. | ||
| Like, he knows how he's being perceived, he's adjusting, he's pausing in the right way, he's saying it the right way. | ||
| You take the average person, you make him stand up and give a speech about MMA in front of a bunch of other people in suits in some room like that, and... | ||
| It's gonna suck. | ||
| He's got a built-in joke, though. | ||
| Everybody knows he's gay. | ||
| Like, all he has to do is talk about guys being hot. | ||
| Like, they'll do that to disarm the situation. | ||
| Like, gay guys have that built-in thing. | ||
| They can always talk about guys being hot. | ||
| Well, it's very hard for me to concentrate up here with all these hot guys in the room. | ||
| Like, you can say things like that, and then, boom! | ||
| They break the ice, and people start laughing. | ||
| So there's that, but... | ||
| It ain't easy, man. | ||
| So Eddie tried it and it just was too much time. | ||
| He was busy with his music. | ||
| He's busy teaching. | ||
| He's busy competing at the time. | ||
| He's still competing. | ||
| So he quit. | ||
| He didn't want to do it anymore, because it was right around the time when he fought Hoyler and fought in Abu Dhabi. | ||
| That's right around when he was trying it out. | ||
| But he could do it, especially now, because he's been teaching for so long. | ||
| He's getting really comfortable with talking in front of people. | ||
| And in his classes, he's really funny. | ||
| Like, sometimes in his classes, he'll say hilarious shit, just not planned out, not jokes he wrote. | ||
| He'll just, something will come up and he'll say something. | ||
| Or, you know, sometimes, it's like his classes are hilarious. | ||
| Like, one time he came in, he was talking about some UFO documentary that he saw. | ||
|
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|
He said, oh Jesus. | |
| He hasn't stopped with the... | ||
| Chemtrails. | ||
| He was talking about chemtrails the other day. | ||
| Still? | ||
| Still. | ||
| No, he's still doing that. | ||
|
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|
New documentary, bro! | |
| Documents came out that they were proving over LA. They were putting spraying over the last couple months. | ||
| Told you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Told you. | |
| They admitted that. | ||
| They've never not admitted to doing it. | ||
| Well, hold on a second. | ||
| Here's the difference. | ||
| What they have admitted to, and what they do, we talked about this before, what they do in Abu Dhabi on a regular basis is they do cloud seeding. | ||
| Cloud seeding is absolutely real, and what they do is they figure out how to make it rain. | ||
| And they spray some sort of silver iodine, is that what it is? | ||
| Find out what the fuck they spray. | ||
| Is it to reflect it? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| That's the Arunaki shit. | ||
| The silver stuff, somehow or another, when you spray it in the air, it coalesces. | ||
| That's the wrong word. | ||
| It somehow or another attracts these clouds to form, and you can make it rain. | ||
| And in Abu Dhabi, they've made it rain once a week for a year. | ||
| They make it rain there, like once a week. | ||
| They just fucking spray the sky. | ||
| Abu Dhabi's the desert. | ||
|
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|
Silver iodide, potassium iodide. | |
| That's it. | ||
| Which, by the way, is absolutely a different substance than what these people are claiming is in these chemtrails. | ||
| That was the problem with doing that show. | ||
| Like that Joe Rogan questions everything show, like the people have some shit in their head and they don't, they just, this is what they believe. | ||
| It's locked in there and they don't want to accept other information. | ||
| Like this one guy that made this documentary on chemtrails. | ||
| I mean, he had made two documentaries on chemtrails. | ||
| And he said he had evidence. | ||
| He had evidence. | ||
| We have tested the water and the water shows high levels of aluminum. | ||
| Like, why is there aluminum in the water? | ||
| Well, it turns out, first of all, that dirt... | ||
| All across the world has aluminum in it. | ||
| It's really common. | ||
| It's one of the most common things you'll find. | ||
| Like as far as like metals, like it's super common for aluminum to be in the ground. | ||
| That's how they get aluminum, okay? | ||
| It's in the ground. | ||
| It's all over the place. | ||
| And when this guy showed me his paperwork, he's like, I'll show you the tests. | ||
| He hands me this paper and it says sludge. | ||
| So I said, well, why does it say sludge? | ||
| And he goes, I don't know, but I gave them water. | ||
| I go, but that's not what it says at the lab. | ||
| They tested it, and they said it's sludge. | ||
| So what is sludge? | ||
| And he goes, well, I don't know. | ||
| What is sludge? | ||
| Well, let's Google it. | ||
| The sludge, I think, is water mixed with shit, and it's water and dirt. | ||
| That's what sludge is. | ||
| So I go, okay. | ||
| So, you admit that dirt has aluminum in it, right? | ||
| Yes, I know that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But this water did not have dirt in it. | ||
| But it says sludge, which means water and dirt. | ||
| So your water and dirt tested positive for water and dirt. | ||
| Like, that's what happened. | ||
| Like, your sludge tested positive for being dirt. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You didn't prove that they're spraying shit in the air. | ||
| Like, this is crazy! | ||
| Not only that, if they sprayed shit in the air, it would look different than fucking clouds. | ||
| Like, what a cloud is, is moisture. | ||
| It's moisture, and when you have a certain amount of condensation in the air, and you send those fucking jet engines through it, it spirals, and it's got all this massive Power and heat, and it changes the temperature of the air in those funnels, those tubes. | ||
| It creates artificial clouds. | ||
| Like, I'm not making this up. | ||
| This is all science. | ||
| Like, the scientists have figured this out fucking decades and decades ago. | ||
| This is like, this is a beaten-into-the-ground subject. | ||
| They absolutely know that you can do that. | ||
| This is 100% proven that you can send a jet engine through certain levels of condensation, and people are like, well, how come you see it turns on and turns off? | ||
| Well, look up in the sky. | ||
| Do you ever notice that clouds aren't uniform across the entire sky? | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because moisture's not uniform across the entire sky. | ||
| Just like you'll be fucking driving, and it'll be raining in one area, and you drive to another area, and you could pass through an area where it's not raining, and into a new area where it's raining again, and you're laughing. | ||
|
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|
Oh my god, we drove from the rainy part into the fucking dry part! | |
| You can do that! | ||
| Everybody knows you can do that! | ||
| So why would you not assume that the air and the sky would be very similar? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes it's not. | ||
| Sometimes it is. | ||
| Like, this is a dumb theory. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of fucking conspiracy theories that everybody should look into. | ||
| There's a lot of them that are legit as fuck. | ||
| There's a lot of false flags. | ||
| There's a lot of Lying to the American people, the fucking Gulf of Tonkin that got us into Vietnam is based on bullshit and lies. | ||
| Operation Northwoods, 100% bullshit and lies. | ||
| All the shit that fucking William Randolph Hearst did to get marijuana illegal and the Reefer Madness. | ||
| There's a lot of real-life conspiracies, but... | ||
| As soon as you start believing something and you're unwilling to accept evidence that you might be wrong, it becomes a fucking problem. | ||
| And people get mad at me on Twitter, like, bro, look at this YouTube documentary! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this YouTube! | |
| It doesn't mean people haven't sprayed shit in the sky before, folks, but when you're looking at those goddamn trails that happen behind jets, that is normal. | ||
| That is just what happens when you fly a jet through the atmosphere. | ||
| People should be worried about the fucking jet fuel. | ||
| That's what they should be worried about. | ||
| Everybody that lives around airports, they all get high rates of respiratory illness. | ||
| There's like a real scandal there. | ||
| That's the real scandal. | ||
| If you live near an airport, you're breathing that fucking burning jet fuel. | ||
| If you work at an airport, if you're one of those baggage handlers, one of those dudes that's on the strip every day, fuck, man. | ||
| What are you breathing in every day? | ||
| There's real health concerns there. | ||
| Do you know what? | ||
| What a big deal it would be if we really found out the government was spraying stuff in the sky above us. | ||
| And for what reason? | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| Is it mind control? | ||
| Because it's not working. | ||
| Is it trying to make everybody ill? | ||
| That's not working either. | ||
| I hate this topic so much. | ||
| It just drives me crazy. | ||
| It's an adorable subject. | ||
| It's adorable. | ||
| You know, we're going to find out the planes that crashed into the real trade center were crop dusting at the time or doing chemtrails or something. | ||
| That would be funny if we combined conspiracies. | ||
| Dude, there's people who don't even believe they're real planes. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| There's people who think that those were holograms. | ||
| And then they'll show you on video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, you can see there's a pixelation on the left wing. | |
| These people, their brains are broken, man. | ||
| And it's because they're not getting any pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's kind of a good point what you guys were talking about just a little bit ago. | |
| Like, video at some point won't be enough evidence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For proof. | |
| Well, I think it's right now. | ||
| I think it's real close. | ||
| I think, well, right now we're looking at some normal shit that they're showing us in YouTube ads. | ||
| But in the darkest halls of justice, who knows what fu- Government. | ||
| Government. | ||
| Back at the Justice League of America. | ||
| Back at the fucking superhero compounds. | ||
| Xavier, President Xavier, or Professor Xavier. | ||
| I think the highest levels of all this stuff, like, you know, like, that Magic Leap shit. | ||
| Like, we're looking at what they release, and we're watching these little videos they're putting out, and it looks cool and everything like that, but we're just, we're getting the consumer version of the report. | ||
| Like, the people that are working on it at the highest level, where you have to go to their office and sign non-disclosures and shit like that, like... | ||
| I went to the NVIDIA offices, and when you go in there and they show you all your stuff, you can't take videos of it other than the stuff they allow you to. | ||
| They'll show you some stuff, but they release their stuff very carefully. | ||
| You can't give out the specifications of how they make their things, because there's a big technology race that's constantly on. | ||
| You just gotta sign non-disclosures for any of these things. | ||
| When you do motion capture for a video game or any of those things, they make you sign all this paperwork and shit. | ||
| It ain't that easy. | ||
| So the people that are at the highest level of creating these CGI effects, we have no idea how good they are right now. | ||
| They get better every year. | ||
| So if we could go to one of those CGI labs that does shit for movies and see how good that stuff looks, I bet it'll blow you away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure it's been happening for a while. | ||
| I'm sure there's shit that we don't know about. | ||
| Well, think about the movies that come out, right? | ||
| Those fucking movies like Jurassic Park, the new Jurassic Park, which was insane. | ||
| It wasn't a good movie. | ||
| It was a kind of goofy movie. | ||
| But it was an insane showcase for full state-of-the-art CGI shit that's available right now. | ||
| The dinosaurs looked incredible. | ||
| Like, that took, like, how long did that take to make? | ||
| Over a year, I'm sure. | ||
| So that's the technology that was available when they first started doing that project. | ||
| So, like, whatever it is, two years ago, let's say two years ago. | ||
| What can they do now? | ||
| What can they do in five years? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| What are you showing us, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is called The Climb. | |
| It's a mountain climbing virtual reality thing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You have no hands. | ||
| Your arms are gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you just have hands. | |
| It shows you. | ||
| But the way that they've... | ||
| The scale on what you see when you get up to climb the top of the mountains and the amount of detail they put in here. | ||
| So you can put your face all the way up to your hand and see the stitches in the gloves. | ||
| I saw a little more of an explanation on it, but... | ||
| Why would I want to do that for fun? | ||
| Well, I've watched those YouTube videos, those crazy Russian dudes that do cartwheels on rooftops. | ||
| There's so many of those guys. | ||
| Yeah, that one guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
James Kingston, I think is his name. | |
| He's so scary. | ||
| Oh, he's terrifying. | ||
| He just went to Abu Dhabi on the top of the tallest building and was just climbing on a crane and doing handstands for fun. | ||
| Well, he also does leaps. | ||
| He'll leap from the top of one building to the other. | ||
| Like, he showed one. | ||
| He's still in the corner of this building and leaped across the street and landed on another building. | ||
| Like, these guys are serious fucking athletes. | ||
| Because even the way he's landing, like, he's, like, stiff-legged it and, like, planted himself. | ||
| He does nutty shit, man. | ||
| But, hey, we're talking about him. | ||
| How long before that guy becomes Jell-O? One day, right? | ||
| So he's looking across here. | ||
| Is he gonna jump all the way? | ||
| He climbed that thing? | ||
| Oh, dude, why? | ||
| Oh my god, I can't do it. | ||
| Oh my god, this guy's out of his mind. | ||
| So, James Kingston, what's the name of the video if people want to watch this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jumps insane gap to hang off 150 meter high South Bank tower crane. | |
| He's jumping? | ||
| Where's he jumping? | ||
| He's jumping from here? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| No, no, no, he's not gonna- Oh my god, he's gonna jump? | ||
| What is he gonna do here? | ||
| I can't watch this. | ||
| My feet are sweating. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| There's some new drones that just came out recently that he's gonna be able to make some way cooler videos than he's making now, even. | ||
| He takes his fucking shirt off while he's up there, folks. | ||
| He's gonna leave it up there? | ||
| He tucked it, just so everybody knows it's up there forever. | ||
| Everybody knows he was really there. | ||
| If you want to go up there and retrieve his shirt, go get it. | ||
| No, he's not gonna jump over to that other thing. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, he's hanging! | ||
| Look how sweaty my hands are! | ||
| Oh my God, he's hanging with one arm! | ||
| Fucker! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ, dude! | |
| Oh my god, this guy's out of his fucking mind. | ||
| This is so hard to watch. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| Why is it so hard to watch when you're not there? | ||
| Facebook. | ||
| Yeah, here's his Facebook. | ||
| James L. Kingston. | ||
| He's out of his mind, man. | ||
| That dude's out of his fucking mind. | ||
| But that's how we're talking about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, no, it's just like Alex Honnold. | |
| Oh, it's different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hopefully he's getting paid for it. | |
| It's different. | ||
| I guess? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think they're both equally crazy. | ||
| First of all, what he's doing is illegal. | ||
| What Alex Honnold does is a sport, young Jamie. | ||
| I know, what Alex does is pretty nice too, but you know, the climbing dudes, like the hardcore climbing guys, they fall into one or two camps when it comes to Alex. | ||
| Either they revere him, or they think he's a real problem, and they think he's going to die. | ||
| Like, there was this one documentary they did about him, or one of those pieces that they did about him, where they talked to this one old school climber who uses ropes and the whole deal, and he's like, it's not a matter of if he's going to die, it's a matter of when. | ||
| And the guy was just like, being real negative about it. | ||
| Which I don't understand. | ||
| It's because when I watch a guy like Alex Honnold, I say, obviously he knows what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| He's doing it all the time. | ||
| And he continues to do it all the time. | ||
| So why do you assume that one day he's going to have a mental lapse and not be able to do it? | ||
| Well, he can do it. | ||
| Is he doing it? | ||
| He's doing it, right? | ||
| He's doing it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, if he's doing it, he can continue to do it. | ||
| Unless his hand breaks. | ||
| Unless he gets old. | ||
| Unless he stops working out. | ||
| I mean, why is he not going to be able to do it? | ||
| Well, one day, he's gonna fall. | ||
| Like, what are you, hexing him, man? | ||
| Putting the fucking, the kibosh on him? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You know, you don't know if he's gonna fall. | ||
| Like, what he's doing is very dangerous, but he might do it forever. | ||
| He might be able to do it until he's 80 and then quit. | ||
| He might know what he's doing. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, he goes over those courses with a rope first. | ||
| He knows he's got a path. | ||
| He doesn't just climb something and hope he can figure out how to get up. | ||
| He goes through these things with ropes first. | ||
| And then once he goes through the things with ropes, he sees his path, he marks it, and he goes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even still, I guess, what... | |
| Why do they think it's bad that he might die doing it because it shows other people a bad path to take? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| I'm confused on why they think it's so bad. | ||
| Well, then we should stop having NASCAR. Yeah, I know there's a lot of things you can do that'll kill you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That aren't even that dangerous. | |
| Yeah, I was watching a girl yesterday on the fucking highway at night wearing sunglasses scrolling through her Facebook. | ||
| In the left lane, the far left lane, people are honking as they're passing her. | ||
| She didn't give a fuck. | ||
| She's fat. | ||
| She's probably eating while she was driving, too. | ||
| Big fat face, looking down at her phone, scrolling through her pictures. | ||
| Just careless. | ||
| Careless American. | ||
| Just everything that people, if they wanted to mock America. | ||
| She's probably looking at Kim Kardashian's Instagram. | ||
| She had sunglasses on. | ||
| She's driving with her big overfed face. | ||
| And she's scrolling through, putting everyone around her in danger. | ||
| She's barely paying attention. | ||
| And she's doing the scroll lean. | ||
| Here's something that people don't realize when they're scrolling. | ||
| If they have their hand on the steering wheel and they have their phone, they do this. | ||
| Where they lean over towards their phone. | ||
| So if you look at her from behind, the first thing I saw, I'm like, why is this bitch going 60 miles an hour? | ||
| I look it over, because everybody else is flying by on the left and the right, and she's in the left lane. | ||
| You see the glow from her phone, which is a big one, and then her head is all the way over to the right side. | ||
| So this bitch is barely paying attention to what the fuck she's doing. | ||
| I mean, she was barely paying attention, and she had fucking sunglasses on, and it's dark out! | ||
| The whole thing was hilariously American. | ||
| And she probably had a Trump bumper sticker on. | ||
| I have a mount, so I just put my iPad Pro right in the middle of it. | ||
| That's a good move, too. | ||
| She's probably on her way to Ted Cruz's house. | ||
| She's gonna go fuck him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so fucked up today. | |
| Have you seen the documentary? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you believe that? | |
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Do you believe that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you believe it? | |
| Do you know what we're talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Five women have come out, or they've said five women. | ||
| Ted Cruz is having an affair with five different women. | ||
| First of all, kudos. | ||
| Because, you know, if you're going to have an affair, go deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, have a gang of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, no, they said that one of them even works for Trump now. | |
| Perfect. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| That's how you get deep into the enemy lines. | ||
| You know, you gotta get a spy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's some other thing I was trying to read up on it. | |
| There's been a lot of tweets over the last six months referring to this thing, the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's in capital letters, the thing, like hashtag the thing. | |
| This might be it, what they've all been referring to the last time, or there might be something else secret, hidden. | ||
| How about if Ted Cruz comes out, hashtag dickgamestrong? | ||
| I'm voting for him. | ||
| I'm voting for him. | ||
| He's in. | ||
| If he just owns up to it, he's in. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Hashtag Dick Game Strong. | ||
| Dick Game Strong. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| I'll fucking vote for him. | ||
| I'll be a registered Republican. | ||
| I'll go to church. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Just to vote for him. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Wouldn't you want our great? | ||
| No, because I think the whole thing's a joke. | ||
| I watched Hillary Clinton yesterday on Jimmy Kimmel. | ||
| Did you see that video? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel did a really fucking smart thing. | ||
| Very funny. | ||
| He set up this thing where he had Hillary come on and he told her about mansplaining and he asked her if she knew what mansplaining was and then she started to give her explanation and he corrected her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| And so then he had her go up and give her speeches and he told her how she probably should actually dress and how she should talk. | ||
| And he basically mansplained his way through the whole thing. | ||
| Can we play this or will this get us kicked off of YouTube? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Probably get us kicked off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you should just watch it on Jimmy's channel. | |
| Yeah, just watch it on his channel. | ||
| But if you can find the video. | ||
| Today is the 20... | ||
| What is today? | ||
| The 24th? | ||
| What is today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| 25th. | ||
| I tweeted it today. | ||
| So if you get to the 25th and you find it on... | ||
| It's fucking hilarious, though. | ||
| I don't have to play it. | ||
| I want him to get all the hits for it anyway. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| And the way he did it is just so fucking brilliant. | ||
| Nobody else would have the balls to do that. | ||
| He did it all fake dickheadedly, but since you know he's a nice guy, he can get away with being a fake dickhead, it was great. | ||
| It almost made her likable. | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| You're not feeling the burn? | ||
| I feel the burn more than I feel anything else. | ||
| I like burning, and I've said this before, because of social stuff. | ||
| I think what he represents socially will be a good uniting of our country. | ||
| I think it'll help us. | ||
| I think what Trump, what he represents socially is the thing that disturbs me the most. | ||
| Like when he says things about like Mexicans and that kind of shit, that to me is, that's the dumbest part about what he does. | ||
| And the people that react to it, like they go rah-rah, they get all fucking rah-rah about that kind of shit. | ||
| That's the worst aspects of our culture. | ||
| We got lucky as fuck. | ||
| We got lucky as fuck to be born in America. | ||
| You can say what you want about where you live, and you might love Iceland or fucking Sweden or wherever you are right now and you're listening to this, and I bet you're right. | ||
| I bet you're right. | ||
| Where you live has great Great qualities. | ||
| I'm not saying there's anything wrong with where you live, but what I'm saying is the difference between being born in America and being born in Mexico is fucking staggering. | ||
| It's a giant fucking difference as far as the opportunities you have, as far as the chances of you being able to get a great job and be able to support your family. | ||
| People aren't sneaking into America because it sucks. | ||
| They're sneaking into America because they got a shitty roll of the dice and they got born into a poor family in Mexico, which is connected to the richest nation in the world today. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| You and I got lucky as fuck. | ||
| We all did. | ||
| And so for a guy like Donald Trump, he doesn't recognize that shit. | ||
| That should be the number one thing that he says. | ||
| If you want to keep America great and you want to make America great again and everything like that, we're all down with that. | ||
| But you can't talk shit about Mexicans. | ||
| You can't talk shit about them all being rapists, murderers. | ||
| The sheer numbers of people that come over from Mexico that are great, that don't do anything, that are just trying to work and trying to feed their families, well, they're doing it illegally! | ||
| Yeah, because a lot of other people have done it illegally, too. | ||
| And they send back money, and they realize there's job opportunities here. | ||
| And Donald Trump's fucking own companies employ illegal aliens. | ||
| His wife came from another country. | ||
| I mean, the whole thing... | ||
| Mitt Romney had a hilarious joke. | ||
| You hear what he said? | ||
| He said, there's some jobs that Americans won't take. | ||
| And that's why Trump had a wife. | ||
| I'm going to get it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| You know, that part disturbs me about him. | ||
| But the rest of the stuff, I like some of the stuff he does. | ||
| I think he's hilarious. | ||
| I'm pretty sure he's going to win just because I know for sure in 2020 it's going to be Trump versus Kanye. | ||
| The way our world is going right now. | ||
| That's not gonna happen. | ||
| He's not really gonna run for president. | ||
| Oh yes he is. | ||
| That's a hustle. | ||
| That's fake. | ||
| That's how you sell CDs and what have you. | ||
| But don't you think that's where we're going? | ||
| Especially if Trump wins four years later? | ||
| No, I think we bounce back. | ||
| I think we bounce back hard the other way. | ||
| I think if Trump wins, what happens is you get someone like a Gary Johnson. | ||
| Gary Johnson, who is without a doubt the best candidate, but nobody takes him seriously because he's an independent. | ||
| He's a legit former governor of New Mexico, did a fantastic job there. | ||
| He's very open-minded, very liberal, very progressive, but also very smart, fiscally aware. | ||
| He's got a lot of super positive qualities. | ||
| He just doesn't want to be a part of that bullshit two-party system. | ||
| And because of that, no one's going to take him seriously. | ||
| But a guy like Gary Johnson could be a real leader and a real president. | ||
| But to be a president is a fucking stupid job. | ||
| It's to be one person that's in charge of so many different parts of this country that it's insane. | ||
| I mean, you have to be in charge of how much... | ||
| Taxes we charge people. | ||
| I mean, that's part of your platform. | ||
| What's your foreign policy? | ||
| What's the military budget? | ||
| What's all these things that are like, what are you going to do about healthcare? | ||
| What are you going to do about education? | ||
| All of those things require fucking years and years and years of extreme study. | ||
| Like, you have to, like, really be immersed in each individual aspect of our civilization to even have a thought of how to fix it and correct it and change the system. | ||
| Whether it's taxes, whether it's the economy, all these different things require incredible levels of expertise and to expect that in all these different areas from one person and then expect them to have unique progressive ideas about society and culture and how we move past all of our silly differences about race and gender and sexual orientation. | ||
| This one person would have to be a master They would have to be some guru from another planet. | ||
| I mean they would literally have to be some non-human. | ||
| Because a human being can't have that many levels of expertise. | ||
| Because to be an expert in anything that's like super complicated, like finance, Like, goddamn, those guys are studying it all the time. | ||
| I mean, you might be able to be like a really good finance guy and also have a mean racquetball game or something like that. | ||
| Is that your watch? | ||
| It just freaked me out. | ||
| What does it do? | ||
| My security, my home security just went off, so it vibrates. | ||
| Someone's broken in your house? | ||
| Nah, it's just UPS guy. | ||
| Oh, they bang? | ||
| I don't even know how to turn it off. | ||
| Throw it in the water? | ||
| That's probably the best move. | ||
| Why do you want a computer on your wrist? | ||
| You really like that? | ||
| Uh, it's cool. | ||
| I mean, they just dropped the price, $100, so it's really cheap now. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's... | ||
| Nobody wants a fucking computer on their wrist. | ||
| You know what's really... | ||
| What's cool, it's like when you're driving and somebody texts you, you just look over and be like, okay. | ||
| Or you could just push a button and just reply. | ||
| How about just drive, you fuck? | ||
| Driving's boring. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's why I listen to books on tape, man. | ||
| I listen to podcasts, don't you? | ||
| You are a podcaster. | ||
| You don't even listen to podcasts? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I don't listen to podcasts at all. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| Why? | ||
| That's part of your problem. | ||
| The only time I ever listen to podcasts is when I'm going on a road trip, but not, like, locally. | ||
| Every day, I listen to podcasts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All day long. | ||
| I listen to History. | ||
| I listen to History on Fire. | ||
| I listen to Hardcore History, Daniele Bolelli's and Dan Patrick's. | ||
| I'm not Dan Patrick. | ||
| Do you listen to Guys We Fucked? | ||
| No. | ||
| How is it? | ||
| I hung out with those girls in South by Southwest, or Christian Hustigen. | ||
| It's pretty funny. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dan Carlin. | ||
| Why am I saying Dan Patrick? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Because I was listening to Dan Patrick today. | ||
| Talked to... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I listened to those guys. | ||
| Dan Carlin's the best. | ||
| Hardcore History's insane. | ||
| I listen to some archery podcasts. | ||
| I listen to some comedy podcasts. | ||
| Depending on what I'm into, you know? | ||
| Occasionally I listen to Joey's. | ||
| I listen to Bill Burr's on occasion. | ||
| I listen to Ari's. | ||
| I listen to Ari's a lot. | ||
| I listen to Duncan's. | ||
| Do you watch Joey on Periscope? | ||
| I mean, do you watch Periscopes? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I watch Joey. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And sometimes I watch Brody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But in my car, man, I don't fuck with the phone. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I don't fuck with it. | ||
| I put it down because it's dangerous as shit. | ||
| It's just dangerous. | ||
| And it's addictive. | ||
| I know phones are addictive. | ||
| So I see people texting. | ||
| I think we should all just make an agreement. | ||
| All of us. | ||
| Just leave your fucking phone alone when you're in your car. | ||
| Don't kill anybody. | ||
| Because if you do, you'll never forgive yourself. | ||
| If you wind up texting and you plow into someone and someone dies, some fucking kid dies, some old lady dies or something, you'll never forgive yourself. | ||
| Just stop fucking with your phone. | ||
| Stop looking down at it, put it down, and just drive. | ||
| Like, it's the one time where you can just chill. | ||
| And just be involved in what you're doing. | ||
| Be present. | ||
| Be mindful of what you're doing. | ||
| I take this fucking thing and I throw it in the passenger seat. | ||
| I don't want it in my lap. | ||
| I don't want it in the center console. | ||
| I don't want to look at it. | ||
| Let's put it over there. | ||
| I just think we should all do that. | ||
| It's fucking scary, man. | ||
| Watching that dummy yesterday, driving with sunglasses on, the right-handed lean, scrolling through her Instagram, and like looking down, looking down, looking up, looking down, looking down, looking up. | ||
| The amount of distance that you travel when you're looking at your phone, you're going 60 miles an hour, and you're looking at your phone for like two seconds. | ||
| How many fucking feet are you going? | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| If you're going 60 miles an hour, think about that. | ||
| One, two. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking space you're covering, and you're not even looking at the road. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mostly bought this for health, fitness, the sensors on it. | ||
| Bitch, eat vegetables. | ||
| The Fitbit. | ||
| I had the Fitbit for a while, but it started fucking up all the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I heard this is a lot better. | ||
| I thought those Fitbits were the shit. | ||
| That's what I hear. | ||
| Well, they're not waterproof, but they're water-resistant. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How could you have something you exercise in? | ||
| I got some of those Beats headphones that are supposedly really good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That you're supposed to be able to sweat in. | |
| These bitches? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, just like those exact ones. | |
| Yeah, the wireless ones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They break after you sweat in them too much. | |
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| And I think the Fitbit did awesome. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| The little button thing that came apart, so I had to super glue it back together, and the button stopped working after a while, and then they started working again a couple months later. | ||
| I had to buy another pair just because I needed some. | ||
| Yeah, I just give these a try. | ||
| I've been going wired forever. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| I really like them, except you can't sweat too much in them. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I like the wired ones, but when you lift weights and stuff, especially kettlebell movements and things along those lines, you want the possibility of them getting tangled up or getting bunched up. | ||
| Does that have a microphone on it so you can use it for fun? | ||
| Yeah, it's great for the phone. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it for everything, man. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's really easy. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| People tell me that it's not loud enough, but I don't want to blow my fucking ears out. | ||
| I listened to music in the gym the other day, and it was fine. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| Pretty decent headphones, but from what they cost, they should last five to ten years easily. | ||
| $200, $300? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, $200, I think. | |
| Electronics, man. | ||
| I mean, you can't get them wet. | ||
| They can only protect so much. | ||
| Which, apparently, they've done an insane job with these iPhones. | ||
| You can dunk these in a toilet for half an hour. | ||
| How do I know this? | ||
| Someone else did it, but you can dunk it in the phone because and the reason why this should piss everybody off a little bit They made these waterproof because now you can turn them in and you can exchange them when you want to get a new one So they wanted to make it so they didn't break So why did you do that already, you assholes? | ||
| Like, why didn't you do that a long time ago? | ||
| Because Samsung's had waterproof phones for years. | ||
| The new Samsung S7 is waterproof. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you got there? | ||
| You got the Note, right? | ||
| Note 5. Note 5. Those are dope, man. | ||
| The difference between an Android phone and an Apple phone is almost indistinguishable now, as far as, like, the ability, the phone's ability. | ||
| Yeah, if they could just work on the third-party apps, like Periscope sucks on it. | ||
| Well, Instagram was real bad on the old version of it. | ||
| I only use Instagram on iPhone now, but on the old version of it. | ||
| But I still use a Galaxy phone for the studio line. | ||
| The studio phone for guests and stuff, that's a Ting phone. | ||
| That's an Android phone. | ||
| I like it, man. | ||
| It works great. | ||
| It's smooth. | ||
| It's easy to use. | ||
| It doesn't piss me off when I go online with it or anything, when I look at YouTube videos or anything. | ||
| But there's some stuff it just doesn't have... | ||
| Which doesn't make any sense, because aren't there as many Android phones now as there are Apple phones? | ||
| I think there's more Apple. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There should be. | |
| It's pretty even if it's not. | ||
| One's just slightly over the other. | ||
| But I would think by now they would have caught up. | ||
| Like everything would be caught up. | ||
| It's still, as far as Android goes, it's still like a company will make a phone for like Samsung or Sony or just 10 different companies that can make an Android phone. | ||
| Then they have to have the most updated version of the operating system. | ||
| And any update then has to go through the carrier to get through each of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you could have 4.1, Brian could have 4.3. | |
| I could have the new 4.5 or something. | ||
| I don't even know if that's real. | ||
| Yeah, and then there's another problem. | ||
| The other problem is a lot of companies like T-Mobile or any, they'll add their own bullshit. | ||
| And then Samsung will add their own bullshit on top of... | ||
| The original Android. | ||
| So if you want to buy just Android, like straight Android, you do it through Google. | ||
| And you get that Nexus phone. | ||
| The Nexus phone is really interesting. | ||
| Because the Nexus phone, you pay Google. | ||
| You don't pay a carrier. | ||
| Like, you don't pay Verizon or T-Mobile. | ||
| You just pay Google. | ||
| And so your phone works on everything. | ||
| It moves around. | ||
| And they just rent time on everybody's network. | ||
| I find that to be fascinating. | ||
| So it uses both networks? | ||
| It uses everything. | ||
| It uses everything. | ||
| So wherever you are, apparently, make sure that's true. | ||
| Apparently, that's how it works, though. | ||
| Like, you just pay Google instead of paying Verizon or instead of paying T-Mobile, and theoretically, it uses the best signal around all the time. | ||
| Seems like somebody like T-Mobile would be like, nah, we don't want you to do that. | ||
| Why would they do that? | ||
| Because we make more money. | ||
| Maybe they wouldn't. | ||
| I mean, I don't think they even, I mean, people don't even think of Google themselves as being a cell phone provider. | ||
| Most people don't think of it. | ||
| You think of Android, but most people don't think about buying their phone from Google and using Google as their service provider. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| I mean, I've never heard. | ||
| Chris Ryan told me about it. | ||
| Dr. Chris Ryan from Sex at Dawn, and tangentially speaking, that's what he's got. | ||
| He got it that way. | ||
| And he got it because he wants it to work everywhere. | ||
| And when he's roaming, there's no roaming. | ||
| His phone works in Indonesia. | ||
| It works everywhere. | ||
| It just works. | ||
| It's how T-Mobile is, pretty much. | ||
| You can go pretty much anywhere and it just works. | ||
| In Canada, there's no extra cost. | ||
| No extra cost in Mexico or nothing? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's how it should be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But didn't they get in trouble for streaming, for throttling streaming or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So they have this plan that they don't charge you for Netflix, for videos, or any music things like Spotify. | ||
| So all that bandwidth is free. | ||
| It's all you can eat. | ||
| So now it's been exposed or whatever. | ||
| They didn't really hide it, but they said that the videos are downgraded to 480p, which is, like, for your phone, 100% fine. | ||
| Like, the difference between 720p and 480p on a, whatever, a 4-inch screen or 5-inch screen, you're not going to notice the difference. | ||
| But Verizon and AT&T made a huge deal about it, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| What's funny, though, is yesterday on... | ||
| The owner's periscope, the CEO of T-Mobile, it was shown that this whole time Verizon and AT&T have been downgrading theirs to 320p. | ||
| So they just got caught for even having worse signals than T-Mobile. | ||
| So everybody does it? | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| And it seems acceptable. | ||
| It seems like an intelligent move to make sure that your stream doesn't get interrupted because it's not too much download for no reason. | ||
| And Netflix is actually the ones behind it who is downgrading it for mobile because if everyone in the world had 1080p for no reason, there's no reason for it. | ||
| Well, it seems like a massive waste. | ||
| You're looking at a phone. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I mean, if you're looking at a phone, but I have to tell you, one thing I fucking love about Apple is Apple TV. Because I have Apple TV at home, and a buddy of mine... | ||
| Yeah, I got the new one. | ||
| But even the old one was great. | ||
| But a buddy of mine texted me a YouTube video of his show. | ||
| So he texted me. | ||
| So I click on the link. | ||
| It starts playing. | ||
| I press down on the button and it starts showing on my TV. I'm talking about in seconds. | ||
| So I got this text. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| He shows me an episode of his TV show. | ||
| I put it on the TV and I sit back on the couch and I'm watching it. | ||
| In real time, stream on television. | ||
| I'm like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
| Like, this guy just sent me a show. | ||
| And it's playing right now from my phone to the TV, and it's perfect. | ||
| It's in HD, and I'm watching it, and my mouth was like... | ||
| My jaw was open. | ||
| I was like, I can't believe this. | ||
| Do you have the new one yet? | ||
| I love it, because just using the microphone and being like, Broad City, and it shows you where it's on Hulu or Netflix, and you just click on it. | ||
| With that new little scroll thing, too. | ||
| You scroll with that top thing. | ||
| It's like a touchpad. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Except I'm always having it upside down or it's in bed and I sit on it and it turns it off. | ||
| There's a lot of problems with that remote. | ||
| Yeah, my cat paused the Walking Dead the other day. | ||
| Ha ha ha! | ||
| Oliver, my cat is such a whore. | ||
| When you sit on the couch, it's like, oh yeah, that's right. | ||
| It's like if you were a sleazy guy and a girl said, you can stay over my house, but don't try anything. | ||
| And you're like, yeah, I'm going to try nothing. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| And you climbed in bed with her and you took your pants off and you started rubbing your dick up against her ass. | ||
| That's what my cat's like. | ||
| You're like, look dude, I'm going to sit down here and I'm going to just watch TV, okay? | ||
| He's like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool. | ||
| And he plops down next to you and he forces his head into your armpits and he walks all over you and climbs on top of you and he's like constantly... | ||
| What, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| I didn't mean to... | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is that Google network, cellular network that you were talking about. | ||
| Oh, this is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's called Google Fi. | |
| Okay, and so this is what works with the Nexus phone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's their phone, and then you pay them for one plan, and you pay for their data and their minutes and all that stuff. | |
| $10 per gig for data? | ||
| Five basics, $20 per month. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| See, you know how many gigs I use a month? | ||
| I use like seven or eight. | ||
| Hold on, it's always $10 per gigabyte, $10... | ||
| It's just $10 per gig per month. | ||
| $20 for two gigs... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So if you're only using five gigs, you pay 50 bucks a month. | |
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| How many gigs do you use a month? | ||
| I think I use about seven or eight gigs a month. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm around three, three and a half, maybe. | |
| I do a lot of Periscope and video stuff. | ||
| Oh, so that counts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All of it. | ||
| The streaming you do, listening to music, unless you're downloading it from the servers and whatnot. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So, do you have unlimited downloads, Brian? | ||
| I have a family plan, which is unlimited data. | ||
| Unlimited? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| T-Mobile? | ||
| T-Mobile, yeah. | ||
| Unlimited? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Unlimited. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't pay for unused data though. | |
| Huh? | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| Yeah, you don't pay for unused data. | ||
| Everybody's doing that. | ||
| That's like what Ting does. | ||
| Everybody does that now. | ||
| That's so smart. | ||
| This seems pretty expensive though. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It says 32 bucks a month for two gigs. | ||
| And Jamie just says he only uses three, so let's make it 42 bucks a month. | ||
| How often are you on Wi-Fi, though? | ||
| Well, that's without the $20. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can change your life a little bit. | |
| Oh, plus the 20 bucks? | ||
| That's just the data, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so that would be $20 plus the 30... | ||
| Well, he's... | ||
| How come he's got 30... | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Because he's got 20 bucks plus two gigs. | ||
| So he's got two gigs. | ||
| That's $20. | ||
| And then it's only $12 more than that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he got eight bucks back because he didn't use all his data. | |
| Mm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See if I used 3.5. | |
| Go to Brian. | ||
| What's Brian using? | ||
| 7? | ||
| Just crank it up to 8. Let's go to 8. Let's do 7 for fun. | ||
| Let's go to 8. Just in case you're cam-girling. | ||
| 100 bucks a month. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fine. | |
| That's normal. | ||
| What do you pay a month, Brian? | ||
| About 100 bucks. | ||
| So what the fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| I have two phones and I can use an iPhone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But this puts you on, technically, the best network possible at any given moment. | |
| I'll tell you what, though, dude. | ||
| That Nexus phone is fucking sweet. | ||
| That is a sweet phone. | ||
| Have you seen those? | ||
| It's no iPhone. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| They're top of the line. | ||
| I can't beat this iPhone, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| The new camera, everything about it. | ||
| The camera on these phones is just as good. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What is the comparison? | ||
| Like Nexus 6? | ||
| I've seen good comparisons too, so it's hard to argue. | ||
| I'm pretty sure the people like Unbox Therapy or what is that dude's name? | ||
| Marcus? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, MKBHD, I think. | |
| He's really good at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Marquez. | |
| Marquez. | ||
| He's really good at his breakdowns. | ||
| Like he really knows his shit when it comes to cellular technology and all the different components of cell phones. | ||
| See what he thinks about them. | ||
| I'm interested to try it, though. | ||
| I mean, just to see if it really is. | ||
| Because that's one thing. | ||
| I just drove to San Jose, and when you're going through the grapevine, I had zero service for a good hour or so. | ||
| Might be everybody, though. | ||
| No, well, I was in a phone with somebody from Verizon and somebody from AT&T. Verizon was dead. | ||
| AT&T, though, was okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| So it would be cool to see if I went through with that service, if it just automatically went to AT&T, or if it really just chooses, like, Sprint. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Smartphone camera shootout. | ||
| Galaxy S7 Edge takes on the iPhone 6 Plus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a comparison. | |
| They just do some side-by-side photos. | ||
| Just photos. | ||
| Okay, look at that. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Which one is that? | ||
| I think the Samsung is the one on the left, on the one on top, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And when I scroll over here, it shows you the iPhone version. | |
| Okay, iPhone's better. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| Throw it away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's over. | |
| Yep. | ||
| Conversation's dead. | ||
| Front-facing camera. | ||
| Let's see the difference in the front-facing camera. | ||
| Which one is which? | ||
| Again, I think it's the Samsung's on the left. | ||
| Okay, it's over. | ||
| iPhone's better. | ||
| Conversation's over. | ||
| I mean, I use both every day. | ||
| They both have... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Low light. | ||
| Let's see this. | ||
| When we're doing these kind of comparisons, though, it's really hard to make these... | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Who's that low light? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This one should be iPhone. | |
| This should be Samsung. | ||
| Oh, well, Samsung's way better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But we don't know the photographer, how well they took it. | |
| Yeah, but that's the same photo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're supposed to assume, yeah. | |
| Okay, but wait a minute. | ||
| Samsung's bigger aperture really comes into play when you're taking photos in low light. | ||
| These images were shot in the dark back corner of a coffee shop, and both phones struggled, but the iPhone fared worse. | ||
| That's a big difference, man. | ||
| Scroll back again, so you can see the... | ||
| That is way better. | ||
| Samsung is fucking way better. | ||
| Like, that is such a... | ||
| The Note 5 is one of the best cameras on a Samsung, and I use both of these every night. | ||
| And while this one does have good low light, it's also very blurry when you move it around, and it's hard to get a really good shot. | ||
| Right, but that doesn't have as good a camera as the S7 Edge. | ||
| The S7 Edge is the newer camera. | ||
| Newer by four months or so. | ||
| But it's newer. | ||
| Yeah, but is it better? | ||
| Yeah, they get better. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You're doing chemtrail talk here. | ||
| No, no, the new iPhone SE has a works camera. | ||
| Is he doing chemtrail talk? | ||
| A little bit, but I was trying to add, like, there's certain things you can do when you're taking a phone in a dark situation to make it look a little bit better, and we don't know if they're doing all that they can to make the picture look the best they can. | ||
| Let's see this one here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Speed. | |
| What's the difference? | ||
| Shutter speed. | ||
| Well, they both look good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's very... | |
| Which one's that? | ||
| Is that Samsung? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Samsung on top. | |
| That looks better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
iPhone below. | |
| Samsung one looks better. | ||
| But, here's the problem. | ||
| The angle's slightly different. | ||
| Do it again. | ||
| See? | ||
| That one you're going down more. | ||
| That one you're up more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I mean. | |
| The light changes every... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me see. | |
| Do it one more time. | ||
| Scroll back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pretty fucking close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's really such a... | |
| They should go way out of their way to make sure you have the exact same angle. | ||
| Because when you don't have the same angle, it's hard to tell. | ||
| Like one of them, like this one, is way closer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like why would they do that? | ||
| Which one is that? | ||
| This is the Samsung? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Samsung on top. | |
| Looks pretty goddamn good, but that looks better. | ||
| Boy Genius Report, which is a pretty legit website, they did a whole thing with the S7 versus the iPhone 6 Plus, and they found that the iPhone is still the best. | ||
| It says the 6 Plus camera outperformed the S7 more often than not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| Yeah, it seems like it. | ||
| It seems like only low light is where it really has it nailed. | ||
| But goddamn, the difference is, like here... | ||
| The difference is that the iPhone seems to get things a little lighter and clear. | ||
| See, here's another low light. | ||
| This is the S7 and this is the iPhone. | ||
| And this is way better than this. | ||
| And this is a low light picture. | ||
| So again, it's just the photographer. | ||
| You can't really do this shit. | ||
| You just have to have the camera and go, yeah, most of the time this works way better. | ||
| Well, you know what they should do? | ||
| They should have like a double selfie stick. | ||
| It faces forward, and they press both of them at the exact same time and the exact same level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best reviewer would do that. | |
| Yeah, they usually do that. | ||
| Yeah, that's how they should do it. | ||
| They should have everything on a mounted platform that takes a photo at the exact same time, so that you know... | ||
| But even then, one of them would be a few inches over to the side, so you'd get a little slightly different angle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, either way, they're both really good. | ||
| They're both great. | ||
| It's just what kind of environment you have. | ||
| Like, I use all Apple shit, so it's easier for me. | ||
| But if I didn't have Apple shit, I probably would use just a Samsung Note 5. Well, that's, like I said, my friend's sending me that video, and I watch it on my TV in seconds. | ||
| There's nothing like that that exists in Android yet, is there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you could have a Google Chromecast. | |
| Oh, yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have that. | |
| Yeah, I have them both set up. | ||
| Or Amazon Fire Stick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have that too. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So what that means is I stick it into the USB. Is that how it works? | ||
| Or the HDMI actually in the back of your TV. And then you download the Chromecast app to your phone so that anytime you have a video playing it gives you the options. | ||
| Is it just as good? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't have an Apple TV, so I can't. | |
| I've never used that. | ||
| Apple TV is the shit. | ||
| I have Chromecast. | ||
| It works not as good for me. | ||
| It really stutters a lot when you're playing stuff back. | ||
| And you have to play it through Chrome only. | ||
| Oh, you have to go through the browser? | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of times... | ||
| Apple is just way better when it comes to that, in my opinion. | ||
| The thing about the Apple setup was that it was instantaneous. | ||
| That was what blew me away. | ||
| My friend was like, hey, check this episode out. | ||
| I click it, and then it's playing. | ||
| I'm like, whoa, this is nuts. | ||
| I'm telling you from the moment I received the text to the moment I was kicked back on the couch watching it, it was no more than 10 seconds. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| And you can stream your whole entire phone to your TV, so you can sit there and just text while looking at the TV. One clicking is so big. | ||
| Like Amazon, one click if you need something. | ||
| Oh, I'm out of printer ink. | ||
| Let me just go here. | ||
| One click. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| And then one clicking on Apple Store. | ||
| That's so big. | ||
| Like to be able to just click it and get it. | ||
| Do you want this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Send me a battery, bitch. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah, I get mad now that it's not same day. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| It's not same day? | ||
| Send a fucking drone! | ||
| Send a goddamn drone. | ||
| Get over here. | ||
| Do you have anything that you, like I have the subscription on certain items that I know I need every month? | ||
| No, I don't do that. | ||
| I do it. | ||
| Butt wipes, gummy bear vitamins. | ||
| Do you flush your butt wipes? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Do you flush your butt wipes? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| It's not my house. | ||
| Those things don't work. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| You can't flush them. | ||
| They showed a special on it on some show the other day. | ||
| They make them. | ||
| They call them flushable. | ||
| Those fucking people should all go to jail. | ||
| That shit is not flushable. | ||
| You're clogging pipes all over the world. | ||
| They're causing millions of dollars worth of plumbing problems all over the world. | ||
| They're just clogging shit up with paper. | ||
| That stuff's like a synthetic paper. | ||
| It's not going to dissolve like toilet paper. | ||
| Either way, all those things are gross. | ||
| Those toilets that we had in Japan, remember? | ||
| That's what I have now. | ||
| You're so lucky. | ||
| I'm addicted. | ||
| You can get one of those. | ||
| You're always buying electronics. | ||
| They have the shitty ones at Amazon that just attach the top of it. | ||
| Is that the kind you have? | ||
| You don't have to get it from Amazon. | ||
| You can get it online. | ||
| I'll tell you the company that I have. | ||
| See, again, I don't own my place, so I'm not going to put a nice toilet in that place. | ||
| Dude, you get it removed when you leave. | ||
| You hire someone to do it. | ||
| They come over, they install it, and then you hire someone to take it out when you're gone. | ||
| Seems like you just don't want to do that, right? | ||
| Dude, you get a nice warm jet of water up your asshole anytime you want. | ||
| I have a bit about it now that I've been doing because it's true. | ||
| If you read some wacky tweets by me, most likely I've got a jet of hot water shooting up my ass when I'm writing that. | ||
| I do some ferocious tweeting on the toilet. | ||
| When's UFC going back to Japan? | ||
| We don't have any plans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
New York coming up first, right? | |
| Yes. | ||
| We got approved in New York. | ||
| That was part of Rosie O'Donnell's brother's gay fantasy. | ||
| I don't think they have a card set up yet. | ||
| The next big one is the Jon Jones fight. | ||
| That's in Vegas. | ||
| That's a huge card. | ||
| Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier rematch. | ||
| That's a big deal. | ||
| That's going to be insane. | ||
| There's a really cool documentary I recommend called Spy in the Pod. | ||
| I think it's a three-part BBC series. | ||
| What they did is they made these robots fish and turtles and dolphins. | ||
| And they had cameras all over them in their eyes and stuff like that. | ||
| And they swam with the dolphins. | ||
| So the dolphins thought these fake robots were like friends or another dolphin. | ||
| And it's really cool how they got to go really into things that no one's ever seen before. | ||
| Because they... | ||
| It's just a robot. | ||
| And it's also really cool to see how other fish attacked the turtle and stuff like that. | ||
| See, that's a camera. | ||
| This is a fake turtle that's going around and that's a fake fish. | ||
| It's really silly also, but it got really cool... | ||
| There's dolphins catching flying fish in the air in their mouth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dolphin life is a ball. | ||
| They're just having a great old time out there in the ocean. | ||
| You see SeaWorld just say they're not going to breed orcas anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's like, we're not going to breed our slaves. | ||
| Our slaves are no longer going to make any babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're just going to find another way to buy them. | |
| Don't worry, y'all. | ||
| Well, that's what got exposed by Phil. | ||
| Phil Demers, when he was on the podcast, exposed that. | ||
| He's like, SeaWorld, they're liars. | ||
| They're getting their dolphins and their orcas from another company, which gets them from the wild. | ||
| Like, that's how they got them. | ||
| For them to say we haven't gotten a captive SeaWorld, an orca from the wild in 30 years, he's like, that's a lie. | ||
| That's just not true. | ||
| Yeah, they haven't gotten them from the wild. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| They haven't done it. | ||
| They got somebody else to do it. | ||
| Somebody else did it. | ||
| They sold it to one organization, and they got their dolphins from that organization. | ||
| It's all fucked up, man. | ||
| Those are like people. | ||
| They're like a water person. | ||
| And they have a different way of existing than we do. | ||
| But they're smart as shit, like in some crazy way that we don't understand. | ||
| The noises they make, we still can't decipher them. | ||
| We don't even know what the hell they're saying. | ||
| We have no idea what they're saying, but they know what they're saying. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| They have a language that we have been studying. | ||
| John Lilly was studying that shit in the 1960s. | ||
| And when Lilly was studying it, what they were trying to do is they were trying to talk dolphins into making people noises. | ||
| There's a Radiolab podcast about it. | ||
| I think it's called Hello. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| And they were trying to figure out a way to get dolphins to make human language noises so that we could understand them. | ||
| Did they even have the voice box to do that? | ||
| No, that was part of the problem. | ||
| They wanted to imitate it, but also part of the problem was they had this lady researcher. | ||
| Lily was crazy, for people who don't know. | ||
| I mean, brilliant crazy, but crazy. | ||
| Lily invented the sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| Lily also was this pioneer of interspecies communication. | ||
| I mean, he was really working on this dolphin thing. | ||
| Long before anybody thought it was viable, he was trying to figure out how to communicate with dolphins. | ||
| And one of the methods that he came up with, he set up a sensory deprivation tank next to a dolphin tank, and he would take acid and climb in the sensory deprivation tank, jacked up on acid, and try to, like, sense thoughts through the water and listen to them talking and see if he could decipher them. | ||
| And apparently... | ||
| Yeah, he had some anecdotal success, or he kind of understood what they were doing, but who knows? | ||
| I mean, he's fucked up on acid. | ||
| Who knows what he's actually seeing? | ||
| But the woman that he was with, this is the interesting part about it, the woman that was part of this experiment, she lived in this... | ||
| It's a place that they created for dolphins. | ||
| And the place they created for dolphins was they had this living room set up and they had water in the living room. | ||
| And these dolphins swam around or this dolphin swam around in this water with her and it lived with her. | ||
| Like her bed was in the water. | ||
| So she would like get out of bed and step down and she'd be in waist-high water and she'd walk around like that. | ||
| Well, the dolphin's in this area and the dolphin gets horny. | ||
| And it's a big distraction. | ||
| So what she decides to do is start jerking the dolphin off. | ||
| Just like that guy that got caught last week. | ||
| Did you hear about this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, this happened last week. | ||
| And of course, every time there's any kind of news with dolphin sex, everyone tweets me. | ||
| Dolphin sex abuse whistleblower calls out aquarium for jerking off sea mammals. | ||
| Why is that a bad thing? | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| So this lady, what her description of it was, was like it was a physical need that had to be taken care of before they could go back to doing the work. | ||
| Like this dolphin was like so distracting. | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| I was looking up that story. | ||
| Still looking it up after he put it on the screen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he just pulled it up. | |
| So she, you know, she was like, this is just a reality of being a living thing with a sex drive. | ||
| Like, we have to take care of this, otherwise it's going to distract them. | ||
| But that shut down all the research. | ||
| Then they found out about Lily doing acid. | ||
| And he's also big into ketamine. | ||
| You'd shoot ketamine intramuscularly and get into the sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| Guy was out of his mind. | ||
| Some of those guys, especially back then, when people didn't really know what the fuck ketamine was, they didn't understand what this guy was doing. | ||
| This is the acid days. | ||
| Acid wasn't even illegal back then. | ||
| This guy was doing all these wacky experiments, and he was so far off the deep end, so far removed from what most people knew about psychedelic drugs, that he was just out there on the furthest fringes. | ||
| And now, just to this day, people are still trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing. | ||
| Still trying to figure out how far he got. | ||
| He was a real crazy man. | ||
| Like, Lily, he was the motivation behind that movie, Altered States. | ||
| That was all about Lily. | ||
| Because Lily was a scientist, and he was taking all this crazy shit, and people were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| Like, you're taking some crazy psychedelic drugs that we don't even really understand. | ||
| He's like, eh. | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| It's like, leave me alone. | ||
| We'll go hang out with dolphins. | ||
| We just take this stuff. | ||
| But the Radio Lab podcast is really interesting because it's weird how hung up people get where as soon as it becomes about sex, like if the dolphin had any other needs that had to be met, like maybe dolphins have a certain amount of hugging that they have to have on a daily basis. | ||
| Like maybe their unique... | ||
| Requirements are that they need to be caressed on a daily basis, otherwise they get sick. | ||
| If people just climb in the tank with them and caress them, no one have a problem. | ||
| But it's caressing his dick. | ||
| They were like, no way. | ||
| That's where you draw the line. | ||
| Like, we draw the line there because we're ashamed of sex. | ||
| We're ashamed of our sexuality. | ||
| So a scientist who addresses sexuality the same way we would address Food? | ||
| Shelter? | ||
| Warmth? | ||
| Like, as a physical need. | ||
| She addressed it as a scientist, not confined by the constraints of our culture and our ridiculous civilization. | ||
| She just thought about, okay, we got a problem here, let's take care of this problem, and then we can try to get this thing to say hello. | ||
| And everybody's like, we're shutting it down! | ||
| You're jerking off, dolphins! | ||
| Is there any John Lilly assistants that are alive or working? | ||
| That woman's alive. | ||
| That woman in the Radiolab podcast, she's still alive. | ||
| Yeah, there's a few of them that are alive. | ||
| Todd McCormick has John Lilly's sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| He was a part of the early Samadhi company. | ||
| My first sensory deprivation tank was a Samadhi. | ||
| That's the one I wound up giving away online. | ||
| Remember we made that video and we gave it away? | ||
| This is when I found out about the Float Lab. | ||
| Float Lab's pods, their sensory depth tanks are just so much better. | ||
| There's two companies that really fucking kill it right now. | ||
| There's a float lab, which just kills it. | ||
| They make the best shit. | ||
| Everything is state-of-the-art. | ||
| State-of-the-art decontamination of the water, ozone, all that stuff. | ||
| And by the way, I have zero... | ||
| Like connection with them or any other sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| I don't have any business. | ||
| I'm not selling them. | ||
| Although we have talked to... | ||
| There's another company in Austin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| Zero Gravity? | ||
| Is that what it's called in Austin? | ||
| Make sure it's that. | ||
| They have a dope tank as well. | ||
| And we've thought about... | ||
| We've talked about it. | ||
| The Onnit company of releasing an Onnit tank. | ||
| Or being involved in some sort of high-end tank. | ||
| Because what this guy is doing in Austin is... | ||
| Kevin is his name. | ||
| Zero Gravity. | ||
| Kevin is doing it with... | ||
| He's using like boat hulls. | ||
| Like the same companies that make... | ||
| There's Kevin right there with the long hair. | ||
| Look at that fucking hippie. | ||
| Goddamn hippie. | ||
| Come float with me, bro. | ||
| He's a great guy, by the way. | ||
| Super nice guy. | ||
| But his tanks are... | ||
| They're right up there with the Float Lab tanks. | ||
| And what they're doing is, instead of having a lining... | ||
| Like the Float Lab uses this super thick lining. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| Similar to what the Float Labs look like in a lot of ways. | ||
| Like they're just real heavy-duty... | ||
| Float Lab uses a lining that they use when they make koi ponds, that real thick rubber lining. | ||
| So there was a big problem with the Samadhi tanks was that the lining would burn out because occasionally you get like a hole in it and then some water would get through and it would get on the heating element and it would short circuit and burn through and then it would flood. | ||
| That happened to me. | ||
| My basement got flooded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this guy's figured out a way around that. | ||
| No lining at all. | ||
| And instead, they use the same sort of manufacturing principles that you'd make a boat out of. | ||
| Why is it so tall? | ||
| So you stand in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Why do you want to stand in it? | ||
| Because you can lie in it, and then you have to duck when you get out, or you can just stand up and walk out. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So they just made them taller. | ||
| Also, you get more air in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Float Lab ones have buttons that you can press that circulate the air. | ||
| Like, mine has three different speeds. | ||
| I can have a little bit of air, a lot of air, or it just blows like full blast, or it can shut it off. | ||
| So you can circulate some air inside the chamber while you're in it. | ||
| Most of the time, I have that off. | ||
| But you can turn it on. | ||
| It also helps to cool your body off a little bit, because sometimes you can get a little sweaty. | ||
| Like, it's hard to get the... | ||
| Shut that fucking phone watch nonsense off. | ||
| Take it off, man! | ||
| It can't ding every hour. | ||
| That's just retarded. | ||
| You haven't done that yet. | ||
| You're just dinging every hour, like a clock. | ||
| Yeah, that was my alarm system again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're at... | |
| Exactly at 4 o'clock? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You haven't done the music or visuals in it yet, have you? | |
| No, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you interested in trying that, or is that just too much? | |
| No, it's interesting. | ||
| I just haven't gotten down to their place. | ||
| I only use the tank that I have, but I would definitely try it. | ||
| What he's done with the music thing is figure out how to have these floating, waterproof speakers that are right next to your ears, and they literally make the water vibrate. | ||
| So you feel music in your feet. | ||
| In your skin, you feel it in your balls. | ||
| Like, you feel the music in the water. | ||
| It's supposed to be incredible. | ||
| It's supposed to be like some real next level shit if you're barbecued! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't even really need that. | |
| With binaural beats, I would imagine you can get some interesting stuff. | ||
| Didn't you just get frozen the other day, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I did. | |
| You went to the crypto thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I tried it. | |
| How was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was great. | |
| It was cool. | ||
| It was a bit like what I would expect. | ||
| Is it torturous? | ||
| Does it feel like torture? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It feels like it'll be tortured. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I was just playing a mind game with myself. | ||
| I only went for two minutes, and they played music, which helps. | ||
| Let's go do it, man. | ||
| I wouldn't mind doing that. | ||
| Alright, let's do it. | ||
| We'll do it right after this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was just like a little mind game. | |
| They were playing Led Zeppelin, so like, you know, there's music, and it was only two minutes, so you know it's not a full song. | ||
| So you're just like, alright, it sucks for the first 30 seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't even know what you're expecting. | |
| And then it's like, alright, I'm here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is cool. | |
| Well, like Rhonda Patrick was saying, your body gets used to it. | ||
| So, like, when you're doing it, those two minutes felt like an eternity. | ||
| After a while, three minutes feels pretty easy. | ||
| You just stand there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But no more than three, right? | |
| That's like the max. | ||
| I've done 320. That's the most I've ever done. | ||
| Three minutes and 20 seconds. | ||
| It gets hairy. | ||
| Those last 20 seconds get a little hairy. | ||
| Is there any part of your body that does something that you've noticed, like your butthole frees shut, or does your dick hole kind of... | ||
| No, your legs shake. | ||
| Your legs start shaking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wasn't as cold as I thought it would be, honestly. | |
| I thought it would be unbearably cold. | ||
| I've been in cold situations before, and it's just as cold as any time you've been really cold. | ||
| Do you get sick balls? | ||
| Do they get the tight... | ||
| Sick balls? | ||
| You're talking about your testicles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, you're wearing underwear. | ||
| But what happens is your body at first is like, holy shit. | ||
| And it doesn't feel that cold, but it feels like, oh my god. | ||
| But you can stand it. | ||
| But after a couple minutes, it reveals itself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet, yeah. | |
| And you hit three minutes, then it reveals itself. | ||
| You're like, oh my god. | ||
| Like, it reaches a level of cold where your body can't keep itself warm anymore. | ||
| And your body also, your blood has retreated. | ||
| Your blood's retreating to your core to try to protect your organs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was dancing all the time. | |
| Like, just side-to-side, sidestepping. | ||
| Do you have a sensor on? | ||
| Or are there any way that they're detecting your heart rate to make sure you're not like... | ||
| You're right there. | ||
| They can see you through the glass. | ||
| And you can always leave anytime you want. | ||
| You walk out the door. | ||
| The door's right next to you. | ||
| It's not hard to open. | ||
| Just push it. | ||
| You stand out. | ||
| The problem with it is if you touch the walls, you could definitely get some frostbite. | ||
| You've got to make sure you don't touch the walls. | ||
| You've got to stand in the center. | ||
| Don't touch anything with your skin because, you know, it's not a lot of room to move and it's 270 degrees below zero. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That shit's no joke! | ||
| It could be scary. | ||
| You're building yourself up more than a haunted house. | ||
| It's not that scary, dude. | ||
| It's freaky. | ||
| I just don't like being in situations where, what if this door accidentally breaks and they have to open it in 10 minutes or I die? | ||
| You could open it. | ||
| It's not hard, man. | ||
| It just pushes. | ||
| It doesn't have a knob. | ||
| It just pushes shut and closes. | ||
| It's got a little handle on it. | ||
| It's not even like being in a cooler at a restaurant. | ||
| It's way less than that. | ||
| It's super easy to open. | ||
| It opens pretty easy. | ||
| It opens easy, but it's really weird. | ||
| But afterwards, man, you feel amazing. | ||
| Didn't you feel great? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not sure if it was. | |
| I drank coffee later that night, but it kept me up. | ||
| I had way more energy than I usually do on a given day. | ||
| Well, Dr. Patrick said it's epinephrine, and then your brain produces it, and also cold shock proteins that produce all this anti-inflammatory response. | ||
| And the way it makes your brain feel is very interesting. | ||
| The way it makes your whole body feel. | ||
| Like, you feel great. | ||
| Like, after you get out of there, you're like, whoa! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| God damn, you feel good! | ||
| And, you know, the physical benefits of it, I think for anybody who works out and lifts weights and does anything where you have soreness and inflammation, and apparently for people that have arthritis, it offers a lot of help, a lot of assistance for people that have that. | ||
| I just fucking love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've never taken an ice bath, though. | |
| It's supposed to be just as good or better. | ||
| Schaub says it's better. | ||
| I don't think ice baths are really easy for a lot of people just to do. | ||
| Because they'll just have it at the gym unless they have a hole in their spot like they're starting to have for cryotherapy for everyone to have an ice bath, but It's 15 minutes, too. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Sometimes people do 20. Schaub says it's better. | ||
| He says the ice bath gives him more relief than the tank. | ||
| And also, Wim Hof said the ice bath has some benefits the tank wouldn't have because you learn how to breathe in those 15 minutes. | ||
| It's a long time, as opposed to the three minutes. | ||
| Cooling tanks, the cryogenic chambers, when you get in them, right as they start to suck, it's over. | ||
| But when you get that ice bath, I think that sucks from the jump. | ||
| And I think learning how to calm yourself in the suck is what it's all about. | ||
| You get the same epinephrine, I bet. | ||
| Maybe you get more because you're in that tank for a long time with that icy water. | ||
| You're in there for 20 minutes. | ||
| So who knows? | ||
| You might get a bigger burst of that epinephrine. | ||
| And from people that have done it, they say that it's more relief from, like, soreness. | ||
| Like, Brendan swears that it's more relief and makes sense to me. | ||
| I haven't done it, so I can't comment. | ||
| I should probably do it just so I know the difference. | ||
| I should probably do it. | ||
| I should probably have a good workout, like lift some weights or something, and then go do it and see if it... | ||
| Periscope it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe I should. | ||
| Yeah, I probably should. | ||
| Because I do the tank so often. | ||
| I should probably know. | ||
| But I know that... | ||
| The first time I started hearing people talk about how good you feel when you get out, though, was when people were doing the sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| I never heard about people saying they felt good when they got out of the ice bath. | ||
| They were happy it was over, but I don't remember people saying they felt good. | ||
| I wonder if it requires a certain temperature you experience. | ||
| She probably already talked about this and we forgot it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would imagine she hit a temperature in there, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| She has too much fucking information. | ||
| I can't keep up. | ||
| She does it with no notes either, by the way, folks. | ||
| She'll have, like, a notebook that she never looks at, and she's rattling off all that information with no notes. | ||
| She's, like, one of the few people that I've ever met that makes me feel really fucking stupid. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I think I asked her three times separately after that podcast, like, okay, please explain to me, like, I'm five, this sauna thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm doing it right, right? | |
| Right. | ||
| 15 minutes is good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And she's like, yeah, you're okay, but... | |
| There's a few people that I've talked to where I feel like really fucking stupid while I'm talking to them, where I'm just trying to like, what is it like on your planet? | ||
| How do you time travel? | ||
| What do you know about us and did you create us? | ||
| Your questions are valid. | ||
| I will answer them now. | ||
| Who else makes me feel that stupid? | ||
| Neil deGrasse Tyson. | ||
| Yeah, he makes me feel that stupid. | ||
| Peter Schiff, he made me feel pretty stupid. | ||
| You know who made me feel pretty stupid? | ||
| I still don't understand what the fuck he said. | ||
| Was that physicist dude? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amit Goswami? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dr. Goswami. | ||
| Man, to this day, I will put on that podcast, just try to grab it, try to figure out what he was saying. | ||
| He was talking about, like, he was all, is he a quantum physicist? | ||
| Is that how you would describe him? | ||
| I Quantum theory and string theory. | ||
| Whoa, man. | ||
| That stuff is like, hold the fuck on. | ||
| What are you even saying? | ||
| That stuff is so far out the deep end as far as how to grasp it. | ||
| You hear that guy describing things and you're like, what? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a little too smart. | ||
| He's cool. | ||
| And he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He'll wear a hat with a tie. | ||
| It's one of those kangaroo hats, right? | ||
| It's like Run DMC shit. | ||
| I mean, this guy's giving a speech at a college and he's got a fucking... | ||
| like a sock hat on. | ||
| I mean, what a weird hat to have as a professor. | ||
| But I think those dudes, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Like, their version of reality is so... | ||
| It's so... | ||
| They're looking at the universe on this almost impossible to measure level, and there's only a few of them that understand the mathematics involved. | ||
| When they start drawing all that mathematical stuff for quantum theory, when they start drawing on those yellow legal pads and they sit in a park and do it, if you left that there and you gave the next 400 people a million dollars to tell you what it is, no one I don't know what the fuck that is. | ||
| You could write in Japanese, and you could say, if someone can read this, you get a million dollars. | ||
| Someone's gonna show up almost immediately and read that. | ||
| There's a lot of people that speak Japanese. | ||
| There's very few people who understand what the fuck those guys are writing when they're writing all those crazy numbers and letters and squiggle lines. | ||
| I watched Brian Cox, and I forget who the other scientist was, but when I did Brian Cox's podcast, he's another one that makes me feel stupid as fuck. | ||
| Maybe the stupid... | ||
| These guys were talking about those equations, and they were talking about gravity. | ||
| And I was like, what are you even doing up there? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| You have no idea! | ||
| They're making these squiggles and all these lines, and to them it's like, of course, of course! | ||
| Don't forget the little squiggle with the A. That kind of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't know you had a podcast. | |
| It's hilarious because they enjoy doing it too because it's like a cool little language that they know so few people know. | ||
| Like the language of that complex, those equations, it's like almost, it's like some crazy foreign Alien language like that only a few people know how to speak like they're doing all these equations and trying to prove that at its smallest level the universe is made out of something that's like strings and they vibrate at different frequencies and that's what creates matter and what? | ||
| What? | ||
| What are you guys talking about? | ||
| And then they start talking about subatomic particles and how they react when being viewed or not viewed and what the fuck are you saying? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, that's why that guy doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He'll wear a sock hat. | ||
| Like, who cares? | ||
| This is all just strings. | ||
| Like, you guys don't even know this. | ||
| You don't even know what you're involved in. | ||
| You guys are playing this game. | ||
| You know, you're sitting here wondering if it's going to be Donald Trump or Ted Cruz for the Republican nomination and the balance of the country. | ||
| This guy is studying strings that we can't see. | ||
| Maybe they're the biggest bullshit artists and we're just so confused that we don't question them. | ||
| If they all decided to keep their mouth shut. | ||
| It's been going on forever. | ||
| Einstein created this, like, hey, I figured out a way. | ||
| We don't really have to have real jobs. | ||
| We just talk crazy shit about strings. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Anything's possible. | ||
| But I have a feeling that's not what happened. | ||
| I have a feeling. | ||
| Because they're teaching it still. | ||
| It's not like, nope, no more. | ||
| It's between you and I. And that's it. | ||
| No, it's going to die with us. | ||
| No, they teach it. | ||
| Those high-level equations and that kind of physics and stuff, that's available at universities at the highest level. | ||
| So it's got to be a real thing. | ||
| What if they, I don't know, just to argument's sake, what if they found one of those things to be wrong and they have to stop teaching it and teach the right thing, which has happened since we've been in school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, they've taught us things that they found out weren't true. | |
| Okay, yeah, but that's because they get new data. | ||
| And part of the reason why they get new data is because they're going over these equations. | ||
| It's part of the whole idea that's supposedly so beautiful, is that knowledge is self-correcting. | ||
| And when more knowledge comes about, when we learn new things, and we have new discoveries, and we have new information that we add to it, and it sort of changes the view of how we're looking at things, it's self-correcting. | ||
| It becomes a problem if someone's resisting it because they don't want to appear that they were incorrect all these years. | ||
| That's a giant problem. | ||
| And that's an ego problem that humans have. | ||
| Humans, they just have that problem. | ||
| Even if they were... | ||
| You know, teaching to the best of their ability, you know, they're doing an amazing job with what information that they had. | ||
| If something comes out that contradicts what someone's been teaching, boy, they fucking resist the shit out of that. | ||
| It becomes a problem like archaeology a little bit. | ||
| I've seen it with some of those Egypt guys. | ||
| As they try to introduce the possibilities of civilizations that were very complex and building giant stone structures deep, deep into our past, like 14,000 plus years ago. | ||
| When more of this evidence starts coming out, they're still resisting the idea that Egypt is older than what it is. | ||
| And there's this guy, John Anthony West, I know we've had him on. | ||
| That guy, if you haven't heard this subject before and you're not interested or you're not educated about Egypt and its history... | ||
| This guy's got this insane documentary series. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| I mean, obviously, it's a DVD, and it's only an hour or a couple hours long. | ||
| There's six of them, though. | ||
| And it's a whole series of them. | ||
| I mean, the way this guy did it is so good. | ||
| He's so good at explaining it, and he's so passionate about Egypt, and he's so passionate about the architecture and showing, like, how much complexity there is. | ||
| And it's six fucking hours... | ||
| Or more than six hours. | ||
| Six DVDs, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Is each one an hour? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Magical Egypt. | |
| Yes, that's it. | ||
| I think he's got a Magical Egypt 2 that he just came out with, too. | ||
| But this guy is just obsessed with Egypt, and he knows so much about it. | ||
| Some of his evidence that they tried to show to these archaeologists to open up the possibility that when they're looking at Egypt, they're not just looking at one civilization that was advanced, that was making these incredible structures. | ||
| You might be looking at several generations that are separated by thousands of years. | ||
| Like, this might have been an area where there's been, like, one construction style that went on for thousands of years, and they had another one after that. | ||
| It might have been new people, like, took over. | ||
| Like, there's, like, a lot of, like, crazy shit happened in Egypt. | ||
| Like, the face of the pharaoh is apparently an African face. | ||
| And that's after the Nubians conquered that part of Egypt. | ||
| So what happens when the Nubians came up and conquered Egypt, they decided to take that Sphinx and carve an African head into it. | ||
| So they made the Pharaoh, whoever the Pharaoh was at the time, some bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
| He's the ultimate pimp. | ||
| He turned a lion's face like, yeah, that lion that's been here for about 10,000 years, dog. | ||
| Man, I think my face would look better up there than that lion. | ||
| They had carved his face into a giant existing statue. | ||
| And the existing statue might have been there as long as like 10,000 BC. Like they think that statue might be old as fuck. | ||
| And that this guy carved his head into it like way after it had been made. | ||
| There's all sorts of cool evidence about that too, man, that people are reluctant to consider. | ||
| Some of it is these fissure marks and these canyon walls that's only been created by, only could have been created by thousands of years of rainfall. | ||
| And there's this guy from Boston University, Dr. Robert Schock, who started proposing all these ideas. | ||
| If anybody's ever interested in this kind of stuff, Magical Egypt is the shit. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's amazing. | ||
| I watched nothing but that for months straight. | ||
| I watched it several times. | ||
| It's so good! | ||
| Dude, they were so advanced. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| I mean, they were making some crazy shit. | ||
| Even if they're right, even if the Egyptologists are 100% correct, We're still talking about 5,000 years ago, 4,500 plus years ago. | ||
| We're talking about like 2,500 BC and they were making some insane shit. | ||
| So even if John Anthony West is wrong and it all comes from the same era, it's still in fucking sane how much information is available right now. | ||
| We could see like how mathematically complex these structures were. | ||
| These people are doing this, and they're making these immensely complicated structures. | ||
| At the very earliest, or the very most recent, 2500 BC. Fucking crazy! | ||
| I mean, that's crazy! | ||
| And they think the African face is even more recent than that. | ||
| This dude came along and just jacked that town and put his fucking face on the lion. | ||
| I hope that happens to the Statue of Liberty. | ||
| What if our Statue of Liberty gets blacked out? | ||
| It could. | ||
| If Kanye becomes president, he'll demand to be the new face on Mount Rushmore, for sure. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Kim also. | ||
| She'll want to be on that as well. | ||
| And that's when we'll know that the human race is a giant failure. | ||
| It just didn't work out. | ||
| We got too capable before we got smart, because the really capable people, the people that have figured out how to allow us to manipulate matter and exchange information, the people that earned that, they were super, super intelligent. | ||
| But then they took that And they gave that power to us. | ||
| They gave it to the masses. | ||
| Hashtag Dick Game Strong. | ||
| See? | ||
| What they did was they made something that we don't deserve. | ||
| We don't deserve this. | ||
| It's too good. | ||
| It's too crazy. | ||
| I mean, we're not ready for this level of power. | ||
| That's what's happening. | ||
| Hashtag is going to find a way onto our currency at one point pretty soon. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| There's going to be like hashtag Dick Game Strong Kanye or something like that. | ||
| Hashtag Feel the Burn. | ||
| That's out there, right? | ||
| Hashtag Make America Great Again. | ||
| Is that what Trump is? | ||
| What is his? | ||
| That's a lot of letters to give up on a 140. You know, out of 140, you want to keep America great again or make America great again? | ||
| There's too many hashtags or too many letters, right? | ||
| Too many characters. | ||
| Who are you voting for, Brian? | ||
| Bernie, man. | ||
| You like Bernie? | ||
| I just think he represents common sense. | ||
| And that's the one thing that I like about him. | ||
| He just seems like a normal person talking, like you're talking to Ari or something. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And I also think the fact that he's not taking money from banks... | ||
| Like, you know, when he was asking Hillary to give a transcript of the speeches that she gave when she was getting paid a quarter million bucks to talk to these bankers? | ||
| I mean, that's a reasonable request. | ||
| If you're going to be the president, that's a reasonable request. | ||
| And he goes, you know, I'll tell you, I'll give you all the transcripts from when I spoke in front of those bankers because there are none! | ||
| Yes! | ||
| He's good at it, man. | ||
| Do you see Larry David play him, Bernie? | ||
| No, I haven't seen it. | ||
| Oh my god, it's some of the best. | ||
| They're identical twins. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Larry David's a genius. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Did you see that Gary Shandling died? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucked up, man. | ||
| 66 years old. | ||
| Oh, sorry, we were talking about it before the podcast. | ||
| What were you saying? | ||
| That there was a limo that was at his driveway? | ||
| I was just seeing a report on TMZ that said that he had missed... | ||
| He was feeling sick the night before, called a doctor friend of his who told him he should probably go to the hospital tomorrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, okay, I'll go to the hospital tomorrow. | |
| So apparently he had booked a car service to take him to the hospital, but before that car had picked him up, he had already had to call 911 because he was distressed and then collapsed before he went out to the car, I guess, or whatever. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yeah, that came out of nowhere. | ||
| I hadn't even thought about him being sick or... | ||
| I didn't know him. | ||
| I only met him once. | ||
| He's very nice when I met him. | ||
| I met him at the Comedy Magic Club. | ||
| I didn't know him, but damn, he was funny. | ||
| He was funny, man. | ||
| That Larry Sanders show was a hilarious show. | ||
| And that's the show that got Paul Simms started, who was the executive producer of News Radio and the creator of News Radio. | ||
| He got a star in the Larry Sanders show. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| What a... | ||
| I mean, I feel like it's awful in everything that he died, especially, you know, 66. It's not even that old. | ||
| Or 62? | ||
| How old was he? | ||
| 66. 66? | ||
| You know, but I think I would at least rather that, I think, than the Robin Williams thing. | ||
| The Robin Williams one was such a bummer to me. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| We're living in a weird time where everyone we know is dying because all of the people that were TV stars and movie stars of our generation are dying. | ||
| Robin Williams dead? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Nancy Reagan's dead? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I couldn't believe Nancy Reagan was alive. | ||
| I was like, Nancy Reagan's alive? | ||
| When she died, I was like, what? | ||
| She just died? | ||
| Yeah, man, there's been some weird ones. | ||
| The weirdest one is one who hadn't died. | ||
| It's Burt Reynolds to me. | ||
| Because when I was a kid, Burt Reynolds was Smokey and the Bandit. | ||
| Like, he was so cool. | ||
| I remember he would drive that Trans Am, and he had that mustache, and everybody wanted to be Burt Reynolds. | ||
| He was always laughing and smiling, and you're like, God damn, Burt Reynolds is the shit. | ||
| Dude, those Smokey and the Bandit days, he was like the ultimate having a great time guy. | ||
| Because he was always smiling. | ||
| His movies, he wasn't getting mad at anybody. | ||
| He always had that silly mustache. | ||
| He's smiling and driving around his car and hanging out with Sally Field back when she was hot. | ||
| That was him all the time. | ||
| Just great sense of humor and always smiling. | ||
| He's a badass. | ||
| They were great movies, man. | ||
| Him and Boogie Nights. | ||
| Dude, Burt Reynolds is the shit. | ||
| Especially back then. | ||
| He was the shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there was an episode of that Garage Gas Monkeys. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Gas Monkey Garage? | ||
| What's that fucking... | ||
| Fast and Loose. | ||
| Fast and... | ||
| Fast and Loud. | ||
| Fast and Loud. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The car show, Fast and Loud, they built one of those Trans Ams. | ||
| They had one of those smoke in the band of Trans Ams. | ||
| They were refurbishing it, and they went to meet Burt Reynolds. | ||
| Man, he was just struggling even to walk. | ||
| You could actually find it. | ||
| Jamie just pulled it up. | ||
| These guys, they showed up at Burt's place. | ||
| And when he comes out, man, you see him walking, and like, look at this. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, see, he's got a cane, and he's all hunched over. | ||
| Like, he's physically pretty fucked up. | ||
| Was he also in Cannibal Run? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, Smokey and the Bandit was, wow, for some reason I always thought those were the same movies. | ||
| Dude, and he was awesome in his first movie, or his first big movie, which is Deliverance. | ||
| Dude, Deliverance was amazing. | ||
| Everybody see him here? | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's hurting, man. | ||
| He's hurting. | ||
| You see him walking? | ||
| Like, to me, that's crazy. | ||
| I'm looking at this and I'm like, how could this be? | ||
| Yeah, it looks like he's got a back injury or something. | ||
| Dude, he's so... | ||
| He's starting to hunch. | ||
| He's so hunched over. | ||
| He looks so, like, just wounded and injured, you know? | ||
| I mean, his whole body is just... | ||
| I always think of him as being that fucking lively, happy guy. | ||
| Time, you motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Time, you evil bitch. | ||
| It's weird to think about the people that just kind of fell off and you completely forget about them now. | ||
| Like Tim Conway, is he alive? | ||
| Brendan Fraser. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy from the Mummy movies? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's certain guys that are giant movie stars and then they just say, I'm just going to stop doing this. | ||
| Or society says it's going to stop buying your movies. | ||
| One of those happens. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Rick Moranis, how he just kind of like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He quit? | |
| Yeah, he just quit. | ||
| He's like, yeah, I'm good. | ||
| You see David Letterman the other day? | ||
| That picture of David Letterman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's like a wild man on top of a mountain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will find that Sasquatch, and I will bring back his head! | |
| I could totally walk by him and not think that's David Letterman at all. | ||
| Smart, but now somebody outed him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuckers. | ||
| Shouldn't have outed him, man. | ||
| I guess if he throws his glasses on, it will even look more, so... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah, if you do, he's just gotta have a new look. | ||
| Change it to red. | ||
| Make it all red. | ||
| No one would know. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| If he dyed it all red. | ||
| He looks like somebody that would be in a fisherman or a boat. | ||
| Well, he had some serious heart problems too, right? | ||
| Didn't he have to have surgery? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think so. | |
| Something along those lines? | ||
| Yeah, he had some serious heart problems. | ||
| That gets scary, man. | ||
| Look at him out there jogging and shit. | ||
| That's why I can't wait till our body can warn us. | ||
| Like, we'll have, like, status lights. | ||
| Like your phone? | ||
| Yeah, like, on my phone, like, I get this notification, like, you might be having a blood clot in your left leg. | ||
| Are you still doing that diet thing? | ||
| Yeah, I had that sickness that everyone has, that I think Jamie has now, where it was like a upper respiratory bronchitis kind of flu thing. | ||
| But mine lasted, like, three weeks, so... | ||
| I had it for a whole week. | ||
| It might have been more than a week. | ||
| It might have been two weeks. | ||
| Because I had it for a while, and then I worked out too hard, and then I got it again. | ||
| Yeah, and it came back super strong. | ||
| I was like, this is a deceptive cold. | ||
| It's taking a long time to kick. | ||
| Yeah, my voice is still kind of fucked up. | ||
| I mean, I just got done hacking up goobers for like a week. | ||
| It's not a good one. | ||
| For almost a month, I haven't been to the gym since then. | ||
| Maybe today I feel 100%, but I still haven't been 100% for a while. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| When you start feeling shitty, it's really important to give your body a break and let your body rehabilitate. | ||
| People, they have this idea of sweating it out. | ||
| Maybe a little bit, like a little exercise will get your blood pumping. | ||
| As long as you're not putting it under stress and strain. | ||
| But when you start thinking you're going to work your way out of a cold, you're just going to make your body sicker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've just been sleeping. | ||
| I just underestimated it. | ||
| I thought it was just a minor cold. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I'm like, I'm just going to lift a little weights here. | ||
| But the next day, I was like, ooh. | ||
| And I had a little bit of almost every symptom. | ||
| Like, it came back where I threw up, like the flu. | ||
| Zika. | ||
| Zika. | ||
| The Zika virus. | ||
| Zika. | ||
| So don't get pregnant. | ||
| My little head baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, those poor little head babies are... | |
| Oh, the babies that get affected by it? | ||
| Oh, how dare you call them that. | ||
| I thought you were saying you were a head baby. | ||
| I didn't know you were talking about the babies born to the Zika virus. | ||
| But are they going to be 100% brain functional? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| It's real dangerous. | ||
| Apparently. | ||
| I don't know enough to really comment on it. | ||
| I don't know how much of it is medically proven fact. | ||
| But I think when women get pregnant and they have it, it's very dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I think that's what people are scared of. | ||
| I've heard people say they won't travel now because of the Zika virus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had some friends that wouldn't go to Florida because they were pregnant. | |
| They didn't. | ||
| Too close and whatnot. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| I mean, if it's true, I would feel the same way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess. | |
| I mean, can you imagine how fucking guilty you'd feel if you're like, no, fuck that. | ||
| I'm getting my party on. | ||
| You know, I'm going to Miami, bitch. | ||
| And, you know, you're like just showing a little bit. | ||
| You're like, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm here to party. | ||
| It's my last night, girl. | ||
| You'd feel so awful. | ||
| What a fucked up virus. | ||
| A virus that ruins the baby. | ||
| Now, if she fucks a Hawaiian guy, the head will be fine, right? | ||
| If she has the Zika virus. | ||
| A Hawaiian guy? | ||
| Or somebody that's into steroids. | ||
| Someone with a larger head? | ||
| I think you mean Polynesian. | ||
| Polynesian. | ||
| Like Samoan is what you mean. | ||
| Samoan would have been a good example. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you were talking about. | ||
| I'm like, Hawaiians are normal-sized people. | ||
| I guess you're right. | ||
| I mean, there's some big Hawaiians, like the Rock... | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, like, Samoans are giant people. | ||
| Okay, so if a Samoan fucks a woman with a, like, virus... | ||
| Will they have a normal size virus? | ||
| Yeah, it would be a normal size. | ||
| No, I don't think it works that way. | ||
| I would like to see. | ||
| I think Samoans just have better brain structure. | ||
| I mean, jaw structure and, like, head structure. | ||
| They have a more sound frame to hold the brain in. | ||
| But I think the fucking brain shrinks, dude. | ||
| I think it's some real issues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just said The Rock, you made me think of it. | |
| You know he's making the Baywatch movie right now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Zac Efron's in it with him. | |
| Powerful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you seen the pictures of Zac Efron going around right now? | |
| No. | ||
| We've been talking about it all day. | ||
| Well, I haven't been, but... | ||
| What about him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that steroids, do you think? | |
| Yes. | ||
| 100%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you get that from... | |
| You can definitely get that big without steroids. | ||
| He's a young guy, but hold on a second. | ||
| He's a young guy. | ||
| He's been lifting weights for years. | ||
| He had a six pack just a couple of years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| He was shredded. | ||
| And if you just steady, straight, lifted weights for a long time without doing anything, yes. | ||
| Like, you know, you've seen that video of me from that VH1 Fashion Awards thing. | ||
| The butt one? | ||
| Yeah, where I was naked. | ||
| When I was in that thing, I barely lifted weights. | ||
| I mean, I did like chin-ups and I did some weight lifting. | ||
| Mostly was just doing kickboxing and I had never taken anything. | ||
| No testosterone, no steroids, no nothing. | ||
| And I had quite a bit of muscle. | ||
| There's certain people that are more prone to being muscular, especially if you've been doing gymnastics or something like that really young in life or wrestling. | ||
| A lot of wrestlers get it, but for me, it was kickboxing and a lot of calisthenics and some weightlifting, but not even that much, really. | ||
| Not like a serious bodybuilder would be doing it. | ||
| If I lifted once A week. | ||
| It was very rare for me to stay steady. | ||
| I would lift for a few months, then I would stop, and I'd go back to it. | ||
| So the point was, I was dedicated way more to kickboxing than I was to anything else. | ||
| And I still put on a lot of muscle. | ||
| I take that back. | ||
| You know, I've seen... | ||
| Zach's always at the Comedy Store, and when he's wearing normal clothes, he just doesn't look that muscular. | ||
| But I just look back 2010, and he's been ripped since then. | ||
| He's got a swimmer body. | ||
| Yeah, but he's got a trainer, I'm sure. | ||
| If you've got a trainer and the trainer makes you work hard, you're gonna get more muscle. | ||
| It's like you get to a certain level. | ||
| If you see a guy like me who's 48 and you see that he still has a good amount of muscle and looks thick, most of the time that guy's taking testosterone, especially today. | ||
| Today's day, like the benefits of it are just so obvious. | ||
| I mean, you could not take it and just be like a regular 60 year old guy. | ||
| Just feel frail or you see these guys who are taking it. | ||
| They're 60 years old that are fucking shredded like you go to the beach go to like Fucking Maui or something like that go to the four seasons. | ||
| You'll see some businessman I was like in his 60s with a six-pack and giant traps Some 60 year old guy with a personal trainers taking testosterone like I think that would be way better than to be like a Like that Burt Reynolds character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hasselhoff doesn't look terrible there. | |
| He's 63. Well, he's using placement of that floating device. | ||
| Hasselhoff was a very nice guy, and he was on Fear Factor, so I will cease comment. | ||
| However, there is a gigantic difference between the man on the left and the man on the right. | ||
| The man on the left of the screen is the fucking rock, and holy shit, what a... | ||
| Stud that guy is. | ||
| Like, look at the fucking size of him. | ||
| And he's a huge guy on top of that. | ||
| So, you know, The Rock is like 6'3", something like that, right? | ||
| Is he 6'3"? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sounds about right. | |
| Probably 270, 280. Gigantic! | ||
| I mean, just shredded and dedicated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dark nipples. | |
| Gets up every morning. | ||
| But again, if I had to guess, The Rock is not that much younger than me. | ||
| I'm 48. What is that guy? | ||
| Is he 44? | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| Guess, Brian. | ||
| Take a guess. | ||
| Who, The Rock? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say he's your age, 49, 48? | ||
| No, I don't think he's my age. | ||
| 43. 43. Yeah, there we go. | ||
| But point being, I mean, it's technically possible to be that big without steroids, and he does have an insane work ethic, but I would imagine he's taking testosterone. | ||
| It has to. | ||
| But there's no shame in it. | ||
| People are weird about hiding that. | ||
| These are chemical components of our body that we can manipulate. | ||
| I'm not talking about taking massive amounts of it because that's dangerous. | ||
| It's not smart. | ||
| It's not good for you. | ||
| It's going to fuck you up. | ||
| When guys go too deep with it, it's going to fuck you up. | ||
| But that doesn't mean that low levels of it aren't... | ||
| Possibly helpful. | ||
| I'll take it. | ||
| Because the alternative is your body just stops working good. | ||
| I mean, that's the alternative. | ||
| I mean, everybody wants... | ||
| It's like there's a pride thing involved in it. | ||
| Like where people don't want to admit they need it. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When do you think is the... | |
| Or not the best, but what do you think is a good way to decide when you should take it? | ||
| Go to a doctor, for sure. | ||
| 100%, yeah. | ||
| You should go to a doctor who really understands what's going on, where he's on top of the latest as far as replacing hormones and what are the benefits of doing it naturally, what are the benefits of augmenting it with some sort of a synthetic hormone, and have a guy who's got a long history of it, who does blood work, extensive blood work, And wants to find out how healthy you are. | ||
| And the first thing they're going to do if he's good, first thing they're going to do is manipulate your diet. | ||
| That's the first thing they all do. | ||
| They all want to look at your blood work and go, look, you're really low in D3, you this, you that, you need to start taking niacin. | ||
| Like, what kind of foods are you eating? | ||
| Because just doing that, just... | ||
| Lowering your sugar intake and all your bullshit that you eat and alcohol, just that alone, if you can minimize alcohol and lower your sugar intake, like really lower it, you'll have a big impact on your hormones. | ||
| Just that. | ||
| It'll have a big impact on all aspects of your body. | ||
| Your body will just work better. | ||
| Your insulin won't be so fucking spiked. | ||
| It just gets real weird when you start chugging Mountain Dew all day and you get like insane levels of sugar that a lot of people will get. | ||
| I know people are like, Joey, you gotta get all this fucking sugar chalk. | ||
| Talk about sugar too much. | ||
| I know I know you're right, but but that's the point is they'll they'll work on your diet first So what they would do is they would they would check your blood they find out where your levels are of everything including your Thyroid hormones a lot of people have thyroid issues. | ||
| They might not even know about it. | ||
| I bet my shit's all fucked up. | ||
| I bet all ABC and D Probably you should get it checked out. | ||
| I should probably totally do that. | ||
| But you have to be willing to listen to them. | ||
| If they say you have to drink water, you have to take niacin, you have to do this, you have to do that, I want you to limit your amount of fried foods, trans fats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How would you find a good doctor that does this besides maybe just ask your back page? | |
| Good question. | ||
| It's funny because you don't want to quack. | ||
| You don't want some fucking nutty dude who just wants to shoot you up with steroids. | ||
| You want to have a doctor that is intelligent about how they approach it, and hopefully a doctor that's older than you that's on it. | ||
| That's like best case scenario. | ||
| If your doctor's not taking hormones, you're like, hmm, but you're what? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| But you're 80, dude. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Trying to stay alive? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You know? | ||
| But you talk to some 80-year-old doctor and he's fucking yoked. | ||
| That's the guy you want to listen to. | ||
| Okay, what's he doing? | ||
| What are you doing over there, dude? | ||
| Why are you so strong? | ||
| There's some old dudes that are involved in powerlifting competitions. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if they're pretending to be natural. | ||
| I don't know how that works. | ||
| Are they allowed to do whatever they want? | ||
| But I was watching these guys in their 60s and they were powerlifting. | ||
| I'm talking like massive amounts of weight. | ||
| Five, six hundred pounds. | ||
| I'm watching these guys powerlifting. | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| How old are these guys? | ||
| And they're deadlifting 500 pounds, 600 pounds. | ||
| I'm like, that's crazy. | ||
| Those people didn't exist. | ||
| There was no 60-year-old deadlifters 20 years ago. | ||
| They didn't even think about doing it. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of those guys at my gym, a lot of the old guys that you're like, how is this guy still going? | ||
| Look at him, and his body's crazy looking. | ||
| Because when you have an old body mixed with muscles, it's really weird. | ||
| Well, there's a big difference between a person who's not doing it. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
| How old is that guy? | ||
| It's the Arnold Classic Europe 2012 over 60 pose down. | ||
| Over 60. Every one of these guys is over 60. That is fucking insane. | ||
| That looks like CGI. Doesn't that look fake? | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yes, with that guy's old man face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That looks like Jay Leno or something. | ||
| Especially that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not real. | |
| Well, look at him, too. | ||
| He's dancing terribly. | ||
| His skin is kind of wrinkly, and he's got a cop mustache. | ||
| He's got it all going on. | ||
| Can you imagine being in a hot tub with these guys? | ||
| He's got the John Stossel. | ||
| Over 60. Shredded. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| See, this is the difference between being a man and being a woman, too. | ||
| Because I don't think that a woman could take some shit that will give her a more feminine body as she gets older. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Whereas a guy, like these guys are obviously taking some shit, and they're in their 60s, and they have all this muscle... | ||
| And they look like fucking super athletes. | ||
| I mean, that's what these guys look like. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| The CGI guy! | ||
| It definitely looks crazy. | ||
| It does not look right. | ||
| But that guy right there with the red shorts on the far left? | ||
| Like, that guy looks like he could be 30 years old. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| The fact that that guy's 60-something? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's so gross. | ||
| But my point being, like, there's not anything like this available for a woman. | ||
| A woman can't take something that, like, makes her, as she gets older, look more like a younger woman. | ||
| Why do they all have to be that color? | ||
| Does that make it look better or something? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They use that fake tanning shit because the darker they are, the more it highlights their muscularity. | ||
| That old guy's got a flabby ass. | ||
| He shouldn't turn his ass to the camera. | ||
| Look at his hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He shaved it down to this little cute mohawk hipster. | |
| Oh, that's a... | ||
| Oh yeah, I didn't even notice that. | ||
| He's got a 60-year-old dude with a mohawk. | ||
| Maybe he had it first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could be the original. | |
| Maybe he never let it go. | ||
| He's got giant ab muscles. | ||
| This is getting gay. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And that guy's face is tripping up. | ||
| Let's wrap this up. | ||
| Let's bring it home. | ||
| You got anything else you wanted to talk about? | ||
| Can we shut this bitch off? | ||
| Okay, shut this bitch off. | ||
| Shut this bitch off and move on with our lives, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| It's been beautiful. | ||
| This is episode 777. I know. | ||
| So I thought it had to be you because of all your seven references that you threw in all throughout the years. | ||
| That number haunts me so bad. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just comes up so much now. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| I have a 7 on my shirt. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I might. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| How about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have a 7 on your hat? | |
| Brian. | ||
| Desquad.tv. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Oh, I got a new shirt that's for pre-order. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's the old pill shirt, the one with the cat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The, like, looking one, but I just have it black and white now. | ||
| Like, remixed it. | ||
| Like, different colors. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And, uh, gigs coming up. | ||
| Desquad.tv. | ||
| What do you guys got going on? | ||
| We're going to be in Nashville soon, Vancouver next month. | ||
| What are you doing, Wise Guys? | ||
| I mean, Zany's in Nashville? | ||
| Yeah, Zany's. | ||
| We're bringing Kiltony there in Vancouver. | ||
| Yeah, I'm there. | ||
| I'm in Nashville, too. | ||
| I'm at the Wyman. | ||
| Ryman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ryman Auditorium. | |
| When is that? | ||
| What's the date on that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
May 20th. | |
| May 20th, young Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Young Jamie on the ball, yeah. | ||
| In the neighborhood. | ||
| Alright, anything else? | ||
| Oh, What Brian Redband Do. | ||
| Oh yeah, podcast. | ||
| He has his own podcast now. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Killing it. | ||
| Killing it. | ||
| I heard it's doing really well. | ||
| Yeah, and this next episode I'm about to release has the Seinfeld shit in it. | ||
| Oh, what's the Seinfeld shit? | ||
| The stupid question I asked Seinfeld. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe you should delete that. | |
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| Anything else? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| All right, you fucks. | ||
| That's it for this week. | ||
| Only one. | ||
| Only doing one. | ||
| But we'll be back next week. | ||
| Strong. | ||
| Full force. | ||
| See you soon. |
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