Tony Hinchcliffe and Joe Rogan dissect Scientology’s financial exploitation, like Leah Remini’s forced $100K payment after criticizing Tom Cruise, while debating religion’s modern feasibility. They contrast NYC’s tiny, high-energy comedy clubs—where a shooting at the Comedy Store’s OR shaped its intensity—with Hollywood’s overrated actors, mocking Affleck and Damon’s "bland" roles. Rogan praises Michael Jackson’s reconciliation efforts but dismisses Elvis’s acting as "dog shit," highlighting how iconic fame demands more than one-dimensional talent. The episode ends with Melbourne’s vibrant culture and hints at future Rogan-Hinchcliffe collaborations. [Automatically generated summary]
We are live in a hotel room in the middle of Melbourne, Australia, and next door to us is some sort of a religious institution, cathedral-type scenario, some fucking bunk-ass bullshit old-world voodoo house.
That's got their fucking bells ringing constantly.
They get to do that.
Imagine if you lived next door to those assholes, and it's like, they decided today it was a special time to ring the gong.
So we don't know what's going on.
We thought it was like, maybe for Paris.
Because as we're doing this, Tony and I just found out maybe an hour or so ago that the Paris attacks had gone on.
Scientology is the most recent of all the religions, right?
Because that was started in the 50s or 60s.
I'm reading the middle of this book.
I can't finish it.
I read it and then I put it down.
It's a Lawrence Wright book, Going Clear.
It was the beginning of that HBO documentary.
That's how it started.
I've watched the documentary and I keep getting into this book, but It's so crazy.
That guy L. Ron Hubbard was so fucking crazy that the idea that this guy could start this global movement that has who knows how many fucking thousands of people in it and how many fucking millions if not billions of dollars they've earned in real estate and how much they've pilfered from all these people that are inside of it.
And that's really the crazy part, is I don't know, like, I don't, I mean, I don't think L. Ron Hubbard really got that famous off of, like, his science fiction.
Maybe I'm wrong, like, I don't know, but it was definitely no Star Wars.
Like, you would think that, and maybe that's why he did this.
You go through every single last detail of everything you said and what you did during the wedding and she had to apologize to Katie Holmes for ruining her special day and I can see Leah Remini fucking it up, though.
If I was trying to take my afternoon nap, and this shit is going off, gong, gong, gong, gong, Jesus Christ, once upon a time, walked upon the water, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong.
The placebo effect is you believing that something is happening, even though there's no real chemical, like you're taking a sugar pill.
And just believing that that sugar pill is some miracle pill, you can somehow or another enact a physical effect on your body.
The power of the mind, it's real.
There's real healing powers of the mind, and if you apply that to prayer, if you think that prayer really does help, if you actually believe it, it probably would have a similar effect.
Like if somebody prayed for you, if you had something wrong with you, and someone prayed for you, it might have a physical effect on you if you actually believed they could do it.
Like if you had some Gandalf motherfucker hanging around with you.
He summited Everest in his shorts with like sandals on, fucking ice cleats under the sandals.
And he ran half a marathon in minus 40 degree weather with shorts on and no shirt barefoot.
Yeah, he swam 100 yards.
It was supposed to be 50, but he couldn't figure out how to go.
It was under the ice.
He swam under the ice, and it was supposed to be 50 yards, but his retinas froze because the water was so fucking cold, so he couldn't see where he was going.
So he wound up going twice as far.
With one breath, he wound up swimming 100 yards under the ice before they pulled him out.
I think there's also, as time goes on, people are just getting more and more Aware of the effect that your body has on your mind.
They used to think it was pretty separate.
Especially when I was growing up, I think people, often times very intelligent people, would look down upon physical exercise because they thought that physical exercise was a vanity thing.
And then you had two schools of thought, or two types of people.
You had people that were brain people, that were concentrating on thinking, and they were concerned with the deeper, more intellectual aspects of life.
And then you had people that were more physical people, that were just trying to look good for the gym, pump their biceps up, and go, fuck, and yeah, with my six pack, yeah.
I think now people realize that there's a connection between the mind and the body and also there's a discipline aspect to exercise.
Nobody wants to exercise for the most part.
You want the results but it's difficult to get yourself to exert energy and that discipline that allows you to exert energy It's hard to muster up and it is a part of your mental makeup.
To be able to muster it up, to be able to discipline yourself to work out on a regular basis actually strengthens the mind because it It exercises the discipline.
I don't think many people considered that in the past.
I don't think they thought of the discipline of, you know, activating your body, like using your mind to activate your body, that you're actually exercising almost like a muscle, like discipline is like a muscle.
But, and they're depressed because they're fat, and they're fat because they're not working out, and they're depressed because they're not working out.
When I was young, I used to think that the whole idea of being enlightened, being enlightened or achieving a more balanced, more relaxed view of the world, I used to think it would fuck up my comedy.
That if I did that, it would ruin me.
I would stop being funny.
Because a lot of comedy is kind of mean.
And a lot of comedy is like what you're creating with comedy is shitting on something.
And I used to think, well, if I just achieve peace, then I won't want to shit on things.
And if I won't want to shit on things, then I'll be shit out of luck.
As far as my stand-up goes, so fuck this.
Then as I got older, I realized that's just a crutch.
It's definitely crossed my mind that, well, I do want to do mushrooms to feel better, but I don't want to do mushrooms because I want to be able to connect with that audience that's in the room.
And if I'm too far ahead of them...
I literally, you know, I think of everything that when it comes to my comedy, I'm always trying to protect it.
So it's like just a code and you can't really crack it anyway even though the words are there.
It's hard to go back to that feeling.
Of clarity that sometimes you see.
Like, I know for a fact there's been times where I'm out in that desert looking up at the stars and all of a sudden, like, I figure out the trick to everything.
You know, that feeling clicks in where it's like, oh!
Describing a DMT experience, you're just spinning your wheels.
It's wasting time.
I've read my own descriptions of a DMT trip, and I'm like, please shut up, darling.
It sounds so stupid.
Because the words, they don't exist.
The reference points don't exist.
There's no way you could possibly know what the fuck you're talking about.
You're saying something that...
You're using these noises to describe...
Like you were describing some shit like we were at the airport.
Oh, I should probably say we're not on a plane.
And I said that we were going to do one of these on a plane.
And somewhere along the line, while we were flying, I was like, eh, we'll fucking do it in a hotel room.
Probably be better.
I slept most of the time on the plane.
But when we were at the airport, going through that security line, you were talking about the Popats, the guys at the Popats you saw when you were doing DMT. I kind of get that.
I kind of see.
But if I've never done it and I heard that, I'd be like, what are you talking about?
Have you ever seen some of those 3D renditions, like computer renditions of fractals?
It's pretty fucking amazing.
There's an amazing fractal called the Mandelbrot set, and there's some 3D renditions where they show the closer you get to these various points on this...
This fractal, the more the same patterns repeat themselves.
It looks like you're getting close to a small point, but as you get closer, it just reveals a deeper and deeper level and layer of this fractal, where it's infinite.
It keeps going on and on and on and on, and as you get closer, it just shows you it's the same thing in a smaller form, and then it goes on and on and on.
And that's the impression that you get when you do DMT, that there's this, like, Infinite series of fractals that are going on all around you.
There's no end.
You can't find an end.
The deeper you look, the deeper it goes.
That's sort of what they found about the whole universe.
They believe that as you look deeper and deeper into life, and you look deeper and deeper into the cellular level, deeper and deeper into the atomic level, Then you get into subatomic particles, and you get into this weird world of space, where it's mostly just empty air, and then there's subatomic particles that are blinking in and out of existence, and then there's things that are...
Things that they've observed that are in a superposition, which means they're both moving and still at the same time.
As you go deeper and deeper into the subatomic level, things become more and more like magic, more and more like science fiction and craziness.
Most of what an atom is is just empty space.
They're trying to understand it the deeper and deeper they go with this kind of stuff.
Many people have theorized that What we're seeing in the universe itself, like when you look at the universe and you see the empty space that's in the galaxies and space out in the infinite cosmos, that what you're seeing sort of mirrors itself inside our very atoms.
Can you imagine if they just kept digging and digging with a microscope and they kept going through everything and through everything and at the very end of it all there was just L. Ron Hubbard's face?
Would you imagine if we got deeper and deeper into the subatomic level and we found universes?
That's what would be the ultimate trip.
If we got so...
Like, if they figured out some way...
I mean, if you look at what they could observe today as opposed to what they could observe a few hundred years ago, there's no comparison.
They have so many...
So many new, much more sensitive methods of detecting energy and detecting and recognizing structures and atoms and all this different shit.
What if it got to the point where they could detect deeper and deeper and deeper layers?
And they actually really did find that inside atomic particles, that as you go deeper and deeper, you can actually find completely independent universes that operate on a scale so minute that we can't even comprehend.
But if you could, and you got deeper and deeper into them, you would find little tiny miniature black holes, little miniature galaxies, miniature planets, and the whole thing is fractal.
And as you went into them, they believed that inside every black hole, they think that every galaxy There's a supermassive black hole at the center of that galaxy.
And that supermassive black hole is one half of one percent of the mass of the entire galaxy.
So the larger the galaxy, the larger the black hole is.
And they theorize that if you go into that black hole, you will find another universe.
So each galaxy has a black hole in it.
Inside each black hole is a totally different universe filled with hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with black holes in the center of them.
Each one of them has hundreds of billions of galaxies inside of it.
If you go through that, there's more universes, more black holes, and that's the real fractal nature of the universe, that every time you hit a galaxy, which is, in our mind, we can't even imagine how big a galaxy really is.
Generations from now, what it feels like is like generations...
Tens and tens, maybe a hundred generations from now, they're going to be flying through these things in little machines.
We can't fathom it now, but we're like the pirates that were coming over here on wooden ships compared to what generations, and I'm talking a lot of generations ahead of us, they're going to be flying through it.
There's going to be sports, race from one black hole to the other.
If we achieve a new state of enlightenment where humor is out the window, we would be fucked.
We're reaping the benefits of an unenlightened public.
That's what stand-up is doing.
We're pointing out shit that everybody should be able to see.
We're pointing out things that everybody should know.
And then we're mocking things that exist that are ridiculous.
Well, if people evolve past the state they are now, if you look at...
Primate behavior, you look at the savagery of nature, when just tooth and claw and animals just struggling to survive, and then you look at the more civilized nature of our culture today, the best aspects, when everything is working at its smoothest, usually in small groups, but in small groups and small communities, you can find some pretty peaceful existences, you know?
That will ultimately be the whole world, and then it'll get more and more peaceful, more and more civilized, more and more adapted, more cultured, more connected, more enlightened, to the point where mocking things won't exist anymore.
There'll be nothing to mock.
People will be so advanced mentally that there will be no more of a need for comedy.
So I think right now for you and I, this is a perfect time.
If we were in the future and everything was all perfect and enlightened, we'd be fucked.
And it wouldn't be fun, you know?
We're in this golden stage where there's just enough retarded shit.
Like this Paris thing.
There's just enough chaos in the world where it makes you appreciate all the cool aspects of the world.
Like if everything was cool, I don't think we'd appreciate the cool parts as much.
I think the real problem is when people get their mind...
In a pattern.
You get your mind into some sort of a radical ideology like Islam or radical Islam.
It's super difficult to get people out of that radical ideology.
It's very, very difficult.
Very difficult to get them to rethink, to change these patterns in their mind where they go, yeah, actually, it doesn't make any sense to just go to some random death battle concert and gun people down and yell, God is great.
Heroin, and the art that Amy Wine, she was always very genuine, like a real artist, and always wrote only her own stuff, and you can tell through her work.
It was really actually amazing, and they show you through this documentary.
And then something happens.
She was always a heavy drinker, always quite the party, or like a rock star, you know what I mean?
But then when she started doing heroin, because this guy that she was with was into heroin, the lyrics and the songs...
We're a whole other level.
I mean, we've seen it a bunch of times, but I mean, it really went to another level.
And it made me think of Mitch Hedberg because...
There's something with that drug, or, I mean, I'm not taking anything away from Mitch, because he's the one that did it, but it just can't be coincidence that these people on heroin are able to tap into some super, super mechanism.
And then I agree with you completely that Mitch came in over the top.
And how's that possible?
How could Mitch Hedberg not just see Stephen Wright and go, well, I gotta figure out something different to do, because there's no way I'm gonna be able to do that better than that guy.
I mean, Stephen Wright was the man.
But my goodness, if he didn't do it, and there's something about those jokes, if you just look at them just written out, like, sometimes I'll see, like, a meme with Mitch Hedberg on it, and I'll end up staring at that.
And I'm not a meme guy at all, but I'll end up staring at that little tiny thing, which were all the original tweets, by the way.
Since we're talking about the on-paper thing, you said the Hedberg thing.
And, like, that's pretty funny on paper, but now if you really, like, broke down, like, if you were reading a Joey Diaz, like, on paper, what's up, you cocksuckers?
And the only way you figure that out is by doing comedy over and over and over and over and over again.
You've got to get to this point where it kind of makes sense to you.
You figure out how to do it.
That's so hard to figure.
You could never look at a guy like Mitch Hedberg before he ever did stand-up.
And go, I know what you should do.
You'll never get it.
It's not like anything else.
It has to be this unique combination of his personality, his insight, his timing, his experience on stage, and his willingness to sit down and write shit out as much as possible.
His act is all writing.
It's all writing.
Whereas, like, a guy like Sebastian, it's all performing.
It's all things, you know, both very funny, but it's figuring out what it is about the way you're sitting around looking at the world.
The more and more that I do this, the more and more that I do stand-up, and it's been, in May, it'll be nine years, and The more and more that I do it, the more and more that my newest material, my most recent stuff, is always the best stuff.
And I'm writing...
I'm not writing as much.
As I was years ago, because I'm just writing more good stuff, if that makes sense.
I'm writing less extra stuff, and I guess I'm writing the same amount of stuff, but I'm having more good stuff because I'm writing more in that voice.
I'm starting to figure out what that is.
Even down to the physicalities, for example, that I do, because I barely move on stage.
His style of comedy is more like a performance piece.
I asked him how he writes, and he writes all of it out before he ever does it.
He has a theme.
Like, this is his theme, and he writes his whole set.
He writes this theme out, and then he performs at almost like a one-man show, more than like a stand-up comedy show.
And maybe having one of those headsets makes people feel like they're at a different sort of thing.
Like, oh, he doesn't even have a microphone in his hand like a regular comedian.
He's got this whole thing where he's got a little headset on with a loop that comes down by his face, and I see that little loop, and oh, and it might maybe...
It kind of puts you in a different mindset as a person watching it.
I'm watching a theatrical presentation as much as I'm watching stand-up.
I think there's something so cool about taking the mic out of the mic stand the same way Eddie Murphy did in Raw and Richard Pryor live on the Sunset Strip and all that stuff.
That's the magic.
That's what's amazing.
That mic and that mic stand is all we need.
That stool, that is it.
That is it.
Maybe there's a bottle of water out there.
Maybe there's a towel.
Maybe there's...
It's about it.
And that's it.
And that's what I love about it.
You take that away, then you have the same stage that's there in the middle of the day.
When no crowd's there, there's no magic.
I always love that feel, that vibe.
I even like sound checks.
Sound checks give me the chills.
When there's nobody out there and you just see the mic in the mic stand that's going to be used that night.
Like that instrument of death just standing there.
But an empty stage is sort of just sad to me.
I mean, what, then he just has the stool or something?
Like, I don't even know.
I'm not into that.
He seems like the kind of guy that would have, like, wacky backgrounds, too, in his specials.
When we're doing a six-hour show, they changed my battery for my battery pack because I have a wireless battery pack.
I have a wireless mic that is in my ear.
So when I am going into the Octagon, I have a backup, like a battery that's in the microphone.
And I also have batteries that are in The receiver, where there's an earpiece.
So the production can talk into my ear.
They'll say things like, we have a replay for you.
If you want to go to that, let us know.
Or we'll follow your lead.
They'll say things like that.
Maybe I'm talking to someone about something particularly interesting that happened during the fight.
And they'll tell me, we're about to show it.
Or, a lot of times, fighters are rambling.
About their sponsors, thanking Allah or fucking Moses or whatever.
They'll say to cut them off, cut them off, cut them off, cut them off.
Which I can only do so much.
But those batteries, they change those batteries at least once during the course of the UFC. They put a fresh one in the beginning and then change it halfway through.
And sometimes it is off, by the way, because I go out there first sometimes, and every once in a while, there's nothing crazier than you on this side mic going...
Melbourne, what the fuck is up?
And the place just goes, yeah!
And you bring me up, the golden pony, Tony Hinchcliffe, and I walk up, and it's like a 15-20 second walk to the mic sometimes in these big venues, and you grab the mic, and you're like, what's up, Melbourne?
And you realize that the power's not on, and then you have to hit the button.
I don't make a deal about it or complain about it, but when there's a wireless mic, five to ten percent of the time, that's the ratio I'm giving for this, there's a problem.
Normally they're not turned on in the beginning.
It's like the easiest thing that everybody forgets to do.
And then I'm stuck.
I know how to turn all those on, by the way, from that.
I never owned one of these mics or took a class.
You end up finding out where every button is on every mic.
Well, they used to be the old ones had the antennas in the bottom, and if you got too close to the antenna, it would cut off.
Like, if you'd hold it too close to the bottom, they'd tell me, even in the early days of the UFC, when I would do post-fight interviews, don't grab the bottom of the mic.
You had to grab, like, or towards the top.
And I would grab it, like, with my index finger and my thumb and sort of let my other fingers relax so that I wouldn't want to grip it too tight at the bottom because I worried that it would cut off the signal somehow.
If you grab it low, like a fighter sometimes, they would take the mic from me or they would hold onto the mic as well and they would touch the bottom of it and it would cut off the signal.
Yeah, they're more problematic.
You could use cords too.
Use them as props, as part of the cord.
I had a bit that I used to do about having a girl jerk you off.
It's like trying to brush her teeth with your left hand.
They don't have the type of coordination that's developed over years and years of jerking off.
Like when a girl says, I'll just do it with my hand.
What would make you think That you could possibly be as good at that as me.
And I would do this bit where I would hold the cord with my left hand and I'd be jerking it off like a girl with a tired arm.
Like, oh my god, I have to switch hands.
And I needed the cord.
If I didn't have the cord, it wouldn't work as well.
If I needed a physical thing in my hand that I was tugging on that made more sense, then if I was doing it in the air, the bit would be like 10% less effective.
Have you ever noticed that like a lot of the clubs in New York in particular, they have really small stages.
Really small.
The craziest was Caroline's.
Caroline's would have two different stages.
They'd have the regular stage and then they'd have the sellout stage where they would take the wings off the side and you would be in a sold out room of 300 people and they would be fucking on top of you.
I mean Literally they could touch your dick.
They could reach out and just touch you.
You're so close to the audience.
Their tables are so small and everybody's stuffed in there and I think that that style of comedy, like there's a certain type of intimacy in those clubs.
Like, stand-up New York is like that.
There's a certain type of intimacy in those clubs, because you can't move around very much.
You can't get very physical, and you almost have to talk to the audience.
You almost have to address them, because they're right in front of you.
I would take a sold out hot OR crowd over a sold out main room crowd.
Because it's OR, while it's harder, it's more fun to kill in.
I'm telling you, I had this set the other night and it's because of Joey Diaz.
Because Joey Diaz made them believe that miracles could happen.
That's what happened.
Joey Diaz made this audience think that they were at the greatest thing ever.
And I was there too.
I was in the back of the room watching him, my hands hurting from clapping.
And it fucking pumped me up, man.
And I had more fun in the OR the other day at the comedy store.
It was just, you know...
I feel like it's not supposed to be that way.
I should have had more fun in Atlanta headlining my own shows or at Oddball or whatever, but it's like there's something about that OR. It's probably because it's the first place I ever went up.
You know, we were just talking about the hauntings.
Last night at the comedy store.
And yeah, I think that it could have to do with all the people that have gotten killed there.
But I think there's also something to be said about that being a building in which every night there's this burst of energy for five or six hours.
And then, ooh, back down to complete silence to where you can hear a roach...
On the other side of the building, walking across the main room stage, you know what I mean?
like it gets so quiet there and then what 16 hours later blah blah every room filled to the gullets with human beings for 5 or 6 hours and then boom like that doesn't happen anywhere you know what I mean Yeah.
And you look at sheet music, which I can't read, but people who can read it, they look at that and they can perform something that was written down way before things were ever recorded.
Like, music was ever...
Like, they didn't figure out how to record music until, like, what?
What was it, like, the 1800s or the 1900s?
Whatever they figured out the first phonographic record.
It was probably, like, the early 1900s or the late 1800s, whatever the fuck it was.
Whenever they figured out how to record an album, you know, on wax, think about how long they wrote stuff down that you could recreate.
But, like, you couldn't recreate, like, songs, like, as far as, like, how someone could sing.
Like, if you think about the difference between the way Amy Winehouse sings and the way, you know, fill in the blank, you know?
And those amphitheaters, those places that they had developed where they would have like a flat surface on the ground and these like tiered stairs all around them and they would have to project their words!
Like all that style of acting was all based on having to project so that people could hear you.
That sort of flavored how early acting was.
A lot of early acting was very over the top!
And a big part of that was because they had to hear you in the back of the room.
Yeah, it's really interesting what they've been able to do as far as broadcasting and recording people's movements and people's talking.
Well, even in martial arts, like we're going to go see the UFC tomorrow.
I'll tell you, man, when I was young, watching people much better than me fight and watching them kick and watching them perform techniques made me understand how to do them correctly because I could watch them.
You had to be around these guys to watch them.
Like when I was a kid, I used to study tapes.
At the time, it was like VHS tapes.
But it was like one of the first times that people had VHS tapes to study.
It was in the 80s.
Because before that, you had to have like a projector.
You had to get like a projection.
Like Mike Tyson used to watch old films at Customato's house.
He would go down, he would operate one of those reel-to-reel projectors, and watch old films of people fighting.
And he learned from their movements, like how to mimic and how to imitate those movements, and how to learn from those movements.
And now, you could just go to YouTube, you could find something...
Like, fighters today in the UFC, they have such a massive advantage of being able to mirror and imitate and...
Sort of recreate the movements of great fighters.
Because you could see how they do it.
You could watch every Anderson Silva fight that he ever had in the UFC. Anybody could watch him.
And you could see what he was able to do and how he moved.
Maybe you could wear a suit, and when that person hits you in the hologram, you'll feel some sort of an impact.
Not to the point where it'll hurt, but you'll be aware of when they connect it on you, and maybe when they connect on you, their holographic image will respond as if they actually hit you.
They won't kick through you.
They'll kick up until the point where it touches you, and you'll feel it on your chest like you'll have some sort of a suit on.
That's totally...
Within the realm of possibility for the future when technology advances.
Virtual reality too, man.
Virtual reality is going to be so fascinating.
What they're going to be able to do with movies, you're going to be able to watch 3D movies where you put a virtual reality headset on.
And you're going to be immersed in the movie.
You'll be able to go through a crime scene and look down at the body and look down at the person who's trying to cover up the evidence and look out the window and see the cops pull up.
Holy shit!
You're going to be a part in the actual movie itself.
Instead of being able to experience a movie in a flat, sort of a two-dimensional way, where you're forced to watch the scene as the director had laid it out, you're going to be able to change and alter the scene yourself by your own perspective.
You can decide to stand on a chair in the scene.
You know, and look at it from up above or get down on your knees and like look down at the body, look down at the murder weapon or look down at the grass these people are playing in.
You're going to be able to manipulate your perspective and it'll change how you enjoy a film.
Well, like a three-dimensional game, like if you play a game, like Quake or Unreal or some 3D shooter, where you're going down these hallways, you can pause at any time and look at the ground, look at the walls, and it becomes like an interactive thing.
And instead of, and it's still obviously a work of art, it's still, when you're playing a game, like if it's not an interactive game, or if it's not rather a multiplayer game where you're playing against another person, If it's just you versus the computer, you're still choosing how to approach it and how to interface with the game.
You could pause if you like.
You could stop and not move forward.
Or you could run.
Or you could go left or you could go right.
You could choose.
And you're choosing how you interact with this piece of art.
Like a video game is really a piece of art.
You're kind of choosing how you connect to it.
You know, I think that's very likely going to be the way we experience movies.
You're going to be able to choose how you interact with it.
But then the problem with that is, then it won't be, like a film won't be something that you really necessarily would enjoy watching it with other people.
They give you that two-inch push to where you could sort of lean back.
So you feel it every time, like big time.
So then you're watching a movie, and shit's serious, and all of a sudden now you're thinking about What kind of shoes the person behind you is wearing.
Or like, if they're even wearing shoes.
Or this and that.
And how out of line that is to do that at a movie theater.
Like, it's so out of line.
And by the way, popcorn.
How did that become the thing at the movie theater?
But it also makes people aware that what he's saying is irresponsible, you know, to call all cops killers.
You think about how many cops and how many interactions the cops have all day long.
I mean, yeah, it is terrible when something like Sandra Bland or all these different scenarios take place where people do wind up dying at the hand of cops.
It's absolutely horrific.
But you look at the actual numbers of how many cops there are and how many interactions these cops have with human beings.
And how many different interactions happen during a day and how many times it leads to a real problem.
Those problems, for sure, are horrific and they're real issues, but overall, I mean, to label all cops killers, Or all cops murderers, or all cops like that.
It is, in a way, irresponsible, and it's easy to do.
He sent them all to Japan to train in the art of the samurai sword, that entire assassination squad, the Deadly Vipers.
David Carradine, Vivica A. Fox, Michael Madsen, Uma Thurman, and...
Um, Daryl Hannah.
They all went to fucking Japan and stayed in cool little Japanese fucking, you know, condos with, like, sliding, everything was, like, super culture for them to really get in the zone.
And you can tell that they know what they're doing when they're doing their crazy shit.
Like, you can feel it in that movie, I feel like, at least.
Um...
But anyway, yeah, I mean, like, you know, those cops are gonna see that movie.
They can say they're gonna boycott it.
I mean, I would say they'd put on a fake mustache, but they probably already have mustaches.
They're gonna shave their mustaches to go sneak in, like, oh, I'm not going to see this movie.
My ass.
You're gonna miss Kurt Russell with an all-out beard in a Civil War assassin saga?
I looked over and I saw that image of the girl and the guy at the diner at the beginning of the movie where they're talking to each other right when they kiss before they rob the place.
I'm like, wow, that's like the beginning of the stitch that ties that whole crazy movie together.
When they come back to that at the end, and they're robbing the place, and Travolta and Samuel all are sitting there, By the time that that happens at the end, we know Travolta gets killed by Bruce Willis, you know, 10, 15, 15, 20 minutes before that, that Samuel L ends up retiring from the game because of the bullet holes in the wall.
Fun fact is I was watching it without the sound on.
I was listening to music and just had my headphones off because I know every single inch of that movie so well that I don't even need to have the sound.
Like it's fun to have the sound but it's also fun to like see their lips moving and knowing exactly what's going on.
It's so problematic when you have a star and one individual star that is responsible for driving the whole movie.
The whole movie was based on Matt Damon getting off Mars.
He got trapped on Mars and they had to go back and get him.
Because of the fact that it was based on that, you knew he was going to make it.
You knew.
There was no real suspense.
The end of the movie was kind of anticlimactic because you knew it.
Whereas Even a movie like Alien, like the original Alien with Sigourney Weaver, you kind of knew that Sigourney Weaver was going to make it, but the way they did it was so clever and they fucking killed off everybody but her that it was okay.
If you want to know how much of a tool Ben Affleck really is, you have to watch him on Real Time with Bill Maher.
Watch him on Real Time with Bill Maher where he accuses Sam Harris.
I don't know if you know who Sam Harris is.
He's a brilliant intellectual.
Who's written many, many books on religion.
He's just a fucking super genius.
And he accused him of being racist for his stance on Islam, like radical Islam and fundamentalist Islam being like a really dangerous proposition, a dangerous ideology.
And he did it in such a stupid, clunky...
Like ignorant way and look so dumb and so much forced outrage while he was doing it.
Like you watch him do it, you go, oh my god, fuck this guy.
I see what he's doing.
He was totally going like social justice, brownie points, like trying to stand up for the oppressed.
And the way he did it was so awkward and loud and shouty.
It was so dumb.
It was so dumb that it instantly reveals How weak his actual argument was.
He was trying to back it up by calling him a racist.
He was trying to put him on the back of his heels.
But you can't do that to Harris, because he's a master debater.
He debates with people all the time, religious people all the time.
So when you do that, he never loses his cool.
Which made Ben Affleck look even dumber.
And then Bill Maher is taking Sam Harris' side as well, and they're both going like, I think you're missing what he's saying, and he's like, it's racist!
Oh my god, it's racist!
Look at what you're saying, it's so racist!
But it's so dumb and clunky, and it's just, you realize, like, the poor quality of his thinking, and how high he holds his own opinions.
Like, what, you know, you have to see it.
But it's so toolish.
I'll never, I mean...
I can't say I'll never respect his opinion again, but I value it so much less after watching that argument.
Well, not only that, the guy's distracting him in the background while he's in this really important emotional scene, and you want to shame him by recording that as if he's an asshole, but guess what?
The guy who's distracting him with the lights, that guy's an idiot.
Besides the fact that he was an old guy as it is, but you think about what kind of stress must be involved in having a guy like that that you know is fucking kids and you don't know what to do about it.
You don't know what to do because he's got this whole charitable organization where he's taking care of children and you know, you know and everybody else knows, he's fucking those kids.
And then when it comes out, the world knows that you knew he was fucking those kids, and you didn't do anything about it, and you should have, and you were a coward, and it just starts rotting you out from the inside.
If Bill Cosby, say if Bill Cosby does, if it turns out that Bill Cosby has cancer and he's dying and he wants to come clean and he wants to talk about it all, I would love to have him on a podcast.
Can you imagine having Bill Cosby on a podcast before he's dying?
But I think he probably had a bunch of those weird things that he had in his mind.
Like we were at this club last night.
And someone, we don't have to mention their name, but some comedian that we know.
And they were all saying what a piece of shit the guy was.
They would never have him back here again.
But that when they got to the airport, he's like, you know, telling them to carry his luggage.
And then when people were there, he's like, don't let anybody touch me.
People come over to take my picture, don't let anybody touch me.
And then...
It's just like the weirdness of how he interacted with these people that worked there.
They're like, look, you'll never be back here again.
We'll just let you know right now.
You're never coming back here again.
They said he was the worst guy they had ever had come to their club.
But this guy, who we're talking about, had all these weird tics, all these weird things that he would do, like make people carry his stuff, things that he would do to...
To clearly establish that he was better than them.
There's one girl, though, that it's within the statute of limitations.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, there's one girl that they're pursuing that is inside the statute of limitations and if that comes through, he might actually wind up going to jail or at least standing trial.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know how it works.
I guess she has to press charges and maybe he could bribe her.
Maybe he could settle.
That term, settling, out of court, that's just bribing someone.
That's what he did in 2005. The reason why we know about what he did was because of the deposition that they released once all these other accusations started piling up.
Then they released the results of the deposition.
So we got to know that, oh, he admitted that he gave girls quaaludes.
This is a 1994 biopic, so that might not be legit, but it's about one of the most famous castrato singers.
Here's 20 need-to-know facts about castratis.
Okay, the Vatican imported its very first falsetto singers from Spain.
It was considered preferable to have castrated boys singing high parts since girls and women were banned in the Vatican choir.
The 17th century was a bad time to be a good treble.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
The operations to remove a boy's testicles, in medical terms, was called orchidectomy, were reputedly performed by the butchers of Norica, an Italian region famous for its pork products where castration of pigs was common.
Because they castrate pigs.
They oftentimes will castrate pigs in the wild and they let them go.
And then they try to hunt those pigs because they can't breed but they eat a lot and so they get really fat.
And they don't have as much muscle.
It's a density of muscle which comes from testosterone.
So they become fat and thick and like this softer meat.
Only a tiny fraction of the children mutilated in this way even made it onto the stage.
By the early 1700s, as many as 4,000 Italian boys a year underwent the operation, which was illegal.
Of those who survived, only a fraction went on to train as opera singers, and of those, only a handful became superstars.
Being a castrato could have unexpected physical consequences The most famous castratis were trained in Neapolitan conservatories where they practiced breathing techniques for hours every day to expand their lung capacities.
As a result, adult castrati were often notably barrel-chested.
They were tall compared to normal men of their time, but they also had a shortened life expectancy.
Like, look at the images of them.
These images where they show this barrel-chested tall guy.
Like, how odd.
It's like he's got a little head and little hands with a long, tall torso.
Imagine if he went to his grave like that and everybody kept their mouth shut.
Meanwhile, he was castrated when he was younger to make his voice sound better.
I guarantee you Joe Jackson knew about this.
I guarantee you.
This is not...
I mean, if I know about this and people know about this, people in the music business that actually are singers and that are a part of the industry, they definitely know about castratos.
You've been married to the most famous guy the world had ever known.
At the time, the most famous entertainer that had ever existed by far.
There was never a guy like Elvis before Elvis.
Because when Elvis came along, he was like, at the moment when movies...
And radio and television, all that collided and someone could see a guy like that on TV, on the Ed Sullivan show, you know, swinging his hips and, you know, jailhouse rock!
There was not like, like today, if you're Drake, or if you're Jay-Z, or if you're fucking, you know, John Mayer, there's a lot of those dudes out there.
There's a lot of them that girls will go crazy and scream for.
They can hang out together and go to parties and go, man, life's crazy, right?
He was like a heartthrob for a very short amount of time in the 50s.
There was like a couple other guys.
But Elvis was uniquely famous in a way that until Michael Jackson came along, there was probably nobody like him or close to it or very few people like him.