Aug. 25, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:51:58
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ladies and gentlemen, the internet is a fucking crazy place. | ||
| I need some positive stuff, because I fucked up today. | ||
| This morning, got up this morning, did my usual stuff, checked my email, handled some business, was sitting there drinking a little kombucha, and I read my message board. | ||
| And I read this Planned Parenthood thread. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, shit. | |
| I'm just tweeting our shit. | ||
| And I read about... | ||
| I don't know if you guys know what's going on. | ||
| The Planned Parenthood was... | ||
| They were accused of selling fetuses, and actually not just selling fetuses, but making deals to deliver more intact fetuses, and talking about... | ||
| The body parts as line items, and I was like, well, come on, that can't be real. | ||
| So Call Me Pete is the gentleman who put it up on the website on the message board. | ||
| If you're having a problem, join that message board, by the way. | ||
| We switched hosts, and there was just a giant fuck-up along the way, and along the way there was something around... | ||
| 13,000 spam accounts signed up that were just fake, like a bunch of numbers like 6-7-8-9-10, 6-7-8-9-10-11, 6-7-8-9-10-11-12, like that kind of shit, like a bunch of them, so we have to figure out a way to filter that stuff out. | ||
| But we'll let people in soon. | ||
| Anyway, the video, if you want to search for the video, the video on YouTube, if you really want to watch it, it's intact fetuses, in quotes, just a matter of line items for Planned Parenthood. | ||
| So I watch it. | ||
| And the video is disturbing. | ||
| First of all, it's disturbing the way this woman is talking about fetuses. | ||
| And, you know, it's kind of creepy the way she's talking about the... | ||
| There's buyers that want these specimens. | ||
| And I guess they're for medical tests or for scientific tests. | ||
| It's hard to sit through the whole thing. | ||
| Then they get deep into the video and that's where it gets really fucking disturbing because the people that are buying ask if they can see some of the product or some of the samples I think is the word they used so the woman says well from the abortion say they're all just in like a big pile and They they say well, it's okay. | ||
| We just you know, we would like to go see him so they go to this pile and And they start picking things out with tweezers, including fully intact arms with hands. | ||
| Like a little baby arm that's maybe, you know, an inch and a half long, two inches long, with fingers. | ||
| And, you know, they're talking about it like... | ||
| Like you would talk about like how you grow tomatoes like well if you get tomatoes that are like six weeks old They look like that if you get them that are 12 weeks old you get more more parts Dude, it's fucking Really disturbing because they're pulling these things out with tweezers. | ||
| Oh, this is a lung. | ||
| Oh, what is that? | ||
| Can you can you see the thalamus? | ||
| Well, it's hard to tell in this big pile. | ||
| It's a pile of parts man and it first of all If you've ever had an abortion, or you know someone's had an abortion, or you've had a girlfriend, or you personally, you don't think about what exactly is going on there. | ||
| But when you look at this pile of these parts, you're forced to recognize exactly what it is, and then you're forced to wonder what's going on through the minds of these people that are just talking about them and referring to them in quotes, just a matter of line items And there's this fucking pile of baby parts that they sucked out of a woman's body or a bunch of women's bodies. | ||
| It's disturbing. | ||
| I remember seeing this video because it was made for a recent bill or something like that in Congress that the anti-abortion people put as a shock video, a scare video, and I thought it was fully debunked. | ||
| I didn't know that that was the actual real thing. | ||
| How was it fully debunked? | ||
| I guess the video makes it show it was it's supposed to be one of those like gotcha videos Where it's it's it's mixing lies with like real stuff that they actually do in the video and I thought for sure it was debunked, but maybe I was wrong I didn't really look into it too much, | ||
| but well if you think it was debunked You can figure out a way to pull up a link that says it's debunked what Planned Parenthood hoax really proves right-wing extremists have no qualms or About destroying people's lives and when does this come out? | ||
| This came out July 16th This is that salon.com though by the way, which is an insanely left-wing site. | ||
| Yeah So let's just Google it just to say Planned Parenthood video White House says Planned Parenthood videos are fake. | ||
| Well, what's fake? | ||
| Yeah, I mean it's not the real people Um, okay. | ||
| New Planned Parenthood video. | ||
| Baby parts buyer jokes about shipping severed heads two hours ago from the Weekly Standard. | ||
| This is a new video. | ||
| The latest undercover Planned Parenthood video is an interview with Kate Dyer, CEO of an organization called STEM Express that buys aborted baby parts from Planned Parenthood and sells them to researchers. | ||
| There are no graphic images in this video, but Dyer's comments about shipping the severed intact... | ||
| I don't know what that word is. | ||
| Cal... | ||
| Calva... | ||
| Calva... | ||
| Calvarium? | ||
| Calvarium? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Calvarium. | ||
| Calvarium, or skull of an aborted baby, are bone chilling. | ||
| StemExpress, they say, I know we get requests for neural tissue. | ||
| It's the hardest thing in the world to ship. | ||
| The buyer says, you do it as a whole calvarium. | ||
| I guess that's the whole head. | ||
| And StemExpress says, yeah, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the easiest way. | ||
| And I mean, we've actually had good success with that in the past. | ||
| Bayer says, yeah, make sure the eyes are closed. | ||
| And then STEM Express, loud laughter, tell the lab it's coming so they don't open the box and go, oh God, laughter. | ||
| So yeah, whereas so many of the academic labs cannot fly like that, they're just not capable. | ||
| Bayer says, why is that? | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| STEM Express says, it's almost like they don't want to know where it comes from. | ||
| I can see that. | ||
| Where they're like, in quotes, we need limbs, but no hands and feet need to be attached. | ||
| We want to take it all off, like, in quotes, make it so that we don't know what it is. | ||
| I don't know what is debunked and what's not debunked about that, because it seems like in the conversation, I mean look, when they're digging through that bag of baby parts, which was the most disturbing part of it. | ||
| Look, if people are gonna get abortions, I personally do not have a problem with them taking the aborted fetal tissue and using it for scientific experiments because The aborted fetal tissue already exists. | ||
| They're already having abortions. | ||
| And if abortions are legal, shouldn't there be something done with that aborted fetal tissue that may be beneficial to humanity? | ||
| Shouldn't there be a way that they can experiment? | ||
| I mean, it's not like they're asking people to get abortions that would normally have kept the baby and loved them and brought them to adulthood. | ||
| They're going to have the abortions. | ||
| So if they are going to have the abortions, Is it such a bad thing to use that fetal tissue for scientific experimentation? | ||
| That's not the disturbing part about it. | ||
| The disturbing part about it is the visual aspect of seeing the body parts. | ||
| You shouldn't see that, pretty much. | ||
| But, you know, what this article in the Huffington Post is saying is that what they did is they took shocking video of, you know, abortions, which is going to be disgusting anyways, and they're saying that, you know, Planned Parenthood's making all this money off of selling all the parts to, you know... | ||
| But what Planned Parenthood is saying is, no, we just donate it to scientists and people that want to use it for medical research. | ||
| That's not what was going on in the video. | ||
| In the video, the woman was talking about the amount of money that they would get doing it, and it was thousands of dollars a week. | ||
| And that's why they're saying that's a hoax, and they're saying that the visuals, what you're watching, wasn't what the audio was. | ||
| Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense, because you see the woman say it. | ||
| The group behind the videos is facing at least two lawsuits because it's fake. | ||
| Is it in HuffPost? | ||
| HuffPost. | ||
| Let's see here. | ||
| CNN. It's on CNN. And what is CNN saying? | ||
| They're saying it's a hoax too? | ||
| Yeah, there's a company created to go against a left-wing advocacy group called Acorn. | ||
| And throughout this article, it also says... | ||
| Acorn is the same company that they were accused of... | ||
| They were trying... | ||
| People were trying to get funds for creating prostitutes or for pimping. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Remember that whole thing where there was a bunch of people that were trying to get funds? | ||
| The first part here, it says there's a fake company set up called Biomax Procurement Services. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that was the hoax. | ||
| And then according to the Hoaxer's website, it was a 30-month long investigative journalism study by the Center of Medical Progress documenting how Planned Parenthood sells body parts for aborted babies. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| So they don't sell them. | ||
| Yeah, it's flat out untrue. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So what was the woman in the thing where she was talking about body parts? | ||
| It's a shock video. | ||
| They were baiting them into conversations. | ||
| About other things? | ||
| About selling stuff. | ||
| It says that they really don't do that. | ||
| They were just trying to get them to say it, kind of. | ||
| But they did get them to say it. | ||
| So what is the deal? | ||
| She was talking about the bottom line, about how much money they could make and how much money she could add to the... | ||
| So was she like a rogue lady for Planned Parenthood? | ||
| That's what they're saying. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And they're also saying that this bill that was passing was going to cut off all funding to Planned Parenthood. | ||
| So this was like a full-on attack trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood by anti-abortionists. | ||
| Jamie, scroll back down, back where you were again. | ||
| The details of the processes are enough to trouble anyone. | ||
| Non-medical people don't talk about the price of requesting removing or shipping organs, pieces of fush from place to place. | ||
| Most of us would freak out if we listen to professionals in the local hospital funeral home or medical examiner's office discuss Details about how a dying person's request to have their body parts donated For transplants or scientific research actually gets carried out. | ||
| It turns out the cadavers livers Okay, they don't walk themselves over to the local hospital or medical school for free I just don't understand the outrage was that for a lot of folks was that they were selling these Baby parts, right? | ||
| So that is or isn't true? | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| So why was that woman saying it in the video? | ||
| Because it's a big hoax video. | ||
| That's why she has two lawsuits. | ||
| But without further explaining. | ||
| Because the woman was actually saying those things. | ||
| So what part is a hoax? | ||
| Because you also said that that woman was kind of rogue. | ||
| Because she was talking about how much money they could make from it. | ||
| I'm really confused. | ||
| Like, what is the hoax? | ||
| I understand that the people that were making the video weren't really what they were saying they were, right? | ||
| These people, they set this up and they got inside Planned Parenthood. | ||
| The way they were going through the body parts, the way they were picking up the body parts, that was all real. | ||
| I mean, it was 100% real. | ||
| There's no way it wasn't, unless they were rubber baby parts and they had actors. | ||
| Is there a chance the audio you were hearing wasn't what matched up the video? | ||
| You'd see the people's faces. | ||
| You'd see them saying it. | ||
| I mean, unless it was just fucking brilliantly done by terrorists. | ||
| This says that if you plow through the transcripts, you won't see what they... | ||
| I mean, this also could be talking about a separate video from what you just saw. | ||
|
unidentified
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Maybe. | |
| These fucking things are so, so confusing. | ||
| So there's a newly released video that just came out that's literally two hours ago online and this is the STEM Express CEO I don't know, man. | ||
| It's, um, it's fucking, it's just, it's really one of those things. | ||
| Abortion, it becomes one of those left or right issues where you're either a left-wing person, you support abortion, or you're a right-wing person, you think it's horrific. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| I support people's right to do whatever they want to do. | ||
| I totally support people's right to have abortions, but at a certain point in time, like when is an abortion completely fucked up? | ||
| Like when you have a nine-month-old baby inside you and you decide to kill it before it comes out of your vagina. | ||
| Yeah, that's why it's illegal. | ||
| Yeah, but at a certain point in time, that baby's still viable outside the womb, but you could still have an abortion. | ||
| Yeah, what is it? | ||
| I mean, they changed it so many times. | ||
| I think, is it like six weeks or no? | ||
| It's something. | ||
| It's not too crazy. | ||
| It's not six weeks. | ||
| It's like two or three months or something like that. | ||
| I think it's the most. | ||
| They were talking about 22-week-old. | ||
| They were talking about when you can really pick out organs and when you can see them. | ||
| That's fucking four, eight, twelve. | ||
| I mean, think about it when you start going into... | ||
| That's six months old. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mm-hmm. | |
| That's like, woo! | ||
| That's a fucking baby. | ||
| I would really like to know what the statistics is of what, you know, if you're going to get an abortion, how long until you wait. | ||
| Because it seems like most people I know, once they find out they're pregnant, they're like, next day I'm getting an abortion. | ||
| Well, that's because they had a sex with you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Kill it! | ||
| Kill it! | ||
| I wonder how many people are like, you know, like three months in like, you know what? | ||
| I think I don't want this baby. | ||
| That's when it gets kind of creepy in my opinion. | ||
| Yeah, well, we all know people that are completely irresponsible and if you give them a way to justify anything and so they don't have to take responsibility for it and just take take it out of me You know, they don't want to think they don't see it in front of them. | ||
| They don't think of it as a baby The question really becomes, should you be allowed to do that? | ||
| And it's not my call. | ||
| I don't know whose call it is. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, some people think it's their call. | ||
| Some people think that they should be blowing up abortion clinics and shooting doctors and, you know, they decide they're there to protect the children. | ||
| And that gets pretty fucked up, too. | ||
| It also gets pretty hypocritical because those are the same kind of people that are supportive of war. | ||
| You know, once your kid reaches 18, or if that kid's from another country, fuck them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| But it was real weird looking at the unescapable reality of that video. | ||
| So whatever's fake or real in the conversations that they're having, there's no denying at all those body parts. | ||
| And that's where it gets really crazy. | ||
| We all knew that existed. | ||
| When you get an abortion, what it usually is is like a car wash vacuum. | ||
| It's a big tube and it goes into a humongous little pot or a tank or whatever. | ||
| So you know if you're going to look in that tank at what you're going to see. | ||
| You're not supposed to see it. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's kind of part of the problem, right? | ||
| You're not supposed to see it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you look at anything like that, you're going to be like, that's fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, but that is the fucked up one, right? | ||
| Because babies are helpless, and once they're alive, we want to take care of them. | ||
| And here you got these people with tweezers picking up arms with little fingers attached to it. | ||
| It's like, whoa. | ||
| Whatever is in that video that's fake, you know, that's not. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, I don't know what's... | ||
| I'll Google debunked and I'm sure there's a lot that tells you. | ||
| But it's just left-wing sites are saying it's debunked. | ||
| Right-wing sites are continuing to promote it. | ||
| It gets really weird. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoo! | |
| What a bummer. | ||
| What a bad way to start off the podcast. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I thought. | ||
| That's how I started on my morning. | ||
| That and Cecil the Lion's cousin who killed a fucking safari guide. | ||
| In the same place where Cecil the Lion got killed, this fucking guy was leading walking photographic safari tours. | ||
| So the safari guide for the walking photographic safari tour... | ||
| Got taken out by a lion. | ||
| The lion was like, what are you doing outside the Jeep, you dumb fuck, and just jacked him. | ||
| It's hilarious that people are that stupid, that they think they can walk around where lions are walking around in this enormous, enormous park in Zimbabwe where lions are protected. | ||
| Have you ever been to one of those safari tours where the animals come right up and the lions and the monkeys just jump on your car or anything like that? | ||
| I've been to one of those wild animal parks in New Jersey to do that. | ||
| It was real weird. | ||
| It just feels goofy. | ||
| Like you're in your car and there's monkeys jumping on your car. | ||
| And they'll break your windshield wipers. | ||
| They do all kinds of fucked up shit to your car. | ||
| I don't even know if that place is still open anymore. | ||
| But... | ||
| It's just it's odd they would let you drive around in your car and You'd be on this tour and That means better I guess than the zoo but it's got to be fucked up for the monkeys because it's like The same thing is looking at people through glass except you're looking at people through glass that moves on rubber wheels And you're just looking at these people that are free and you're stuck in this enclosure and they're driving into your house and You know, they're on a road, but it was weird. | ||
| It's like, there's something fucked up about zoos. | ||
| Just something really fucked up about zoos. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Less fucked up for some animals, like my joke about giraffes, that giraffes seem to be pretty happy at the zoo, like babies can feed them. | ||
| It's true, man. | ||
| My three-year-old, when she was three, we brought her to the zoo, and she was feeding giraffes with her hand, and there was no worry at all. | ||
| Everybody's laughing and having a good time. | ||
| No giraffe has ever fucked up a kid at the zoo for feeding it. | ||
| It'd be really interesting to see if animals could talk and be like, no, dude, you don't understand. | ||
| I get to hang out here. | ||
| People feed me. | ||
| I don't have to do shit here. | ||
| The Cecil the Lion Killer costume has come out, which is interesting that they would actually do that. | ||
| It's actually a decapitated lion with a dentist outfit, with blood all over the dentist outfit. | ||
| And the guy that owns the company said that they've had so many requests for it so that... | ||
| I guess that's a thing, this Halloween. | ||
| I'm not shocked. | ||
| The Lion costume. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That had to come out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You knew that was coming out. | ||
| I mean, who didn't see that coming? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Cecil the Lion splattered all over. | ||
| The guy's still in hiding, huh? | ||
| Nobody's seen that, dude. | ||
| I think I heard just the other day he just opened up his business again. | ||
| No! | ||
| Have you looked at his Yelp page? | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| I heard he was going to reopen up his business in September. | ||
| That's kind of fucked up about Yelp, because they're not even reviewing his business. | ||
| They didn't go, and yet their teeth cleaned. | ||
| Well, I hope, I haven't looked lately, but I hope Yelp stepped in. | ||
| Because, I mean, yeah, it got where it was just dead lions and his, like, photos for his dentist's office was just dead lions. | ||
| They can put photos? | ||
| Oh, like photos of food? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
| This is my lion after I brought it to the dentist. | ||
| Wow, so TMZ did a poll with almost 16,000 votes, if that was funny or offensive, about the Cecil the Lion costume, and 66% said that's offensive. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because there's 66% of people so fucking stupid they post on TMZ. Those people are apes. | ||
| Those are people too dumb for YouTube. | ||
| Like, YouTube's like, you're too stupid for our comments. | ||
|
unidentified
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You gotta go over to TMZ. You gotta go post over there. | |
| What do you think? | ||
| Finally, somebody wants my opinion. | ||
| I think it's a fountain. | ||
| But she's a lion with my wife. | ||
| It's a beautiful animal. | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel cried. | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel cried. | ||
| I'm going to cry too. | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel gave me the green light to cry. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's pretty sad. | |
| Well, it's fucked up. | ||
| It's fucked up that the only way to save lions is to make them valuable for hunters. | ||
| Ultimately, that's the most fucked up thing about it. | ||
| The idea that there's two types of hunting for conservation that kind of makes sense to me. | ||
| When you have to kill certain animals because they're killing other animals. | ||
| If you have too many lions and you have to control the population, but that's not really the case. | ||
| That kind of hunting for conservation makes sense to me. | ||
| Or if there's like a lot of people don't realize that that rhino that that guy paid a shitload of money to shoot They were gonna kill that rhino anyway They had to kill that rhino because that rhino was killing other rhinos and when they do that they they have to This is like a non-viable male. | ||
| It's not breeding anymore And so it was attacking other males and killing them and it even attacked female and killed it they think so that's that's an animal they have to kill so if if you Get a guy who's willing to pay you a shitload of money to kill that rhino that you were already going to kill and then that money goes to conservation. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| So those are the two cases where hunting for conservation makes sense to me. | ||
| Other than that, hunting for food is the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
| I don't get the idea of hunting like an animal just because you want to add it to your collection. | ||
| I think that's kind of fucked up. | ||
| The only time it makes sense is that it has to be killed. | ||
| They don't have to kill those lions. | ||
| There's not enough lions that they have to kill them. | ||
| It's not like there's an overwhelming number of lions, like they have to take them out because they're eating each other. | ||
| Like bears in Alberta, they got a real problem with bears in Alberta. | ||
| They have too many of them. | ||
| So that's why they let you kill two of them. | ||
| They're like, please come up here and kill some fucking bears. | ||
| And they have a real problem with wolves up there in B.C. They don't even have a limit. | ||
| You can kill as many wolves as you want in B.C. They want you to kill them because they're fucking everywhere. | ||
| They kill people's cows and those are the times where hunting for conservation Makes sense to me. | ||
| But this lion thing, these are rich dudes that want to go over there and they want to fill their trophy rooms up. | ||
| And that's a real natural reaction that people have that that's gross. | ||
| So just so everyone knows, I'm not on the side of killing lions. | ||
| Or anything. | ||
| Giraffes. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Unless it's for food. | ||
| See, the thing about lions is... | ||
| Like, they kill that rhino. | ||
| Everybody ate that rhino. | ||
| The villagers came and they fucking... | ||
| They fed hundreds of people with that rhino. | ||
| Rhinos apparently taste good. | ||
| Like, rhinos apparently are like beef almost. | ||
| And that all these people were excited to cut off pieces of that rhino and have protein. | ||
| Nobody's lying enough to eat a lion. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
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That's a... | |
| Apparently though, mountain lion tastes good. | ||
| Mountain lion supposedly tastes just like pork. | ||
| And it's apparently something that people have been eating since the pioneers came to America. | ||
| I never had it. | ||
| It's supposedly good with like a blueberry sauce. | ||
| They make like loin, like mountain lion loin. | ||
| I would try it. | ||
| I would definitely shoot a fucking mountain lion. | ||
| Those cunts ate my dog. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| I don't trust them. | ||
| They're just running around in our woods, and there's no shortage of them either, especially in California. | ||
| California is so goofy. | ||
| They don't have a mountain lion season in California because we don't have a Department of Fish and Game in California. | ||
| We have a Department of Fish and Wildlife. | ||
| It has a totally different nomenclature attached to it. | ||
| And because of that, It's run by wildlife lovers more than it's run by hunting advisors. | ||
| In every other state, they look at the game numbers, they look at the mountain lions, and they try to manage it accordingly. | ||
| And they also try to manage it because you get a lot of money from hunting tags. | ||
| In California, they're less concerned with that. | ||
| And because of that, they lose out on a lot of money on hunting tax because they'll have less hunters because they literally have less deer. | ||
| And the reason why they have less deer is because they have more mountain lions. | ||
| It's a real controversial thing with hunting in California as opposed to with every other state. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's all interesting stuff. | ||
| It's like what what people decide and not decide that you can eat because there's all or what you can kill because in these places where they have these hunting laws you just drive down the street like California drive down any street and you're just gonna pass by Jack in the Box and Burger King and chicken places and they're filled filled yeah California finally has wolves yay great wolves pack of wolves fantastic Wait. | ||
| This is going to be a fucking disaster. | ||
| Did we put them there or did they just kind of... | ||
| Well, we put them in Idaho. | ||
| We put them in a lot of other states and they're making their way down to California now. | ||
| And what's the purpose of having wolves to kill what? | ||
| Because people are assholes. | ||
| They forget. | ||
| They forget. | ||
| There was a story that I tweeted the other day about... | ||
| Famous strongmen throughout history famous athletes throughout history and one of them was a guy who tried to Split these two trees and he got stuck in between the two trees and he got eaten by wolves This is like in the you know the BC days But, I mean, we've talked about this numerous times on the podcast, how many people throughout history have been eaten by wolves. | ||
| That was a huge issue until people started killing the fuck out of wolves. | ||
| And that's why we look at wolves now like they're our dogs. | ||
| We look at them like they're pets. | ||
| They were never pets before. | ||
| They were always these terrifying animals that That killed human beings. | ||
| That's why they were always a part of folklore. | ||
| That's why they were always a part of stories like the Little Red Riding Hood story or Goldilocks. | ||
| I mean, there's always the three pigs. | ||
| There was always stories of the big bad wolf because wolves were something that everybody was really scared of. | ||
| The wolves in Paris story from the 1400s. | ||
| Wolves killed, I think it was something like 40 people in Paris, France in the 1400s before they fucking rallied together and killed these goddamn things. | ||
| During World War I, the Russians and the Germans literally stopped shooting each other. | ||
| They had a ceasefire so they could kill wolves. | ||
| Because there were so many people getting killed by wolves, these soldiers would be on patrol and they would never find them. | ||
| They're like, what the fuck? | ||
| And they'd go and they'd find like a foot that was still stuck in a boot. | ||
| Yeah, and their bodies would be eaten. | ||
| Wolves would just, they were getting these super packs of wolves, of a hundred wolves together, and they would just kill people. | ||
| That's always been the case. | ||
| Just we eradicated them from our lives, and we no longer have a threat of wolves. | ||
| But now they implanted them, they took them from Canada, where they have a real problem with them, where, like I said, in BC, you can kill as many wolves as you want. | ||
| You can go to BC right now and you can kill 50 wolves today. | ||
| If you could find 50 wolves, you can kill them all. | ||
| And they want you to. | ||
| Because they're hard to kill. | ||
| They're hard to find. | ||
| They're smart as shit. | ||
| They work together in packs and they decimate moose populations. | ||
| They decimate elk, deer, cows, whatever the fuck they get ahold of. | ||
| They'll eat your dog. | ||
| They'll eat everything they get ahold of. | ||
| And that's what they do. | ||
| They run around and they eat things. | ||
| So some... | ||
| I'm sure goofy liberal conservationists decided to take these wolves and bring them from northern Canada and these big ass fucking gray wolves and bring them down to America. | ||
| Here's a picture that Jamie just pulled out. | ||
| Wolf attack. | ||
| Scroll down so I can read that again. | ||
| Wolf attack leads to state of emergency in Siberia's and Russia's Siberia region. | ||
| It was two years ago. | ||
| There was 400 wolves in a super pack running around. | ||
|
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Jesus. | |
| Fuckin' up people. | ||
| The governor of Russia's largest region has declared a state of emergency after a surge of wolf attacks. | ||
| Fuck wolves, man. | ||
| People are just so goofy. | ||
| We have this beautiful thing that we've created. | ||
| We've created an amazing thing in cities. | ||
| You know, you go to the grocery store, you get your food, you walk down the street, you hold hands for your kids, no one's looking over their shoulder for bears. | ||
| And because of that we have this real detachment from the rest of the natural world that is outside of our cities. | ||
| And we live our whole lives in these cities and our perspective of animals is completely shaped by these cities. | ||
| But these animals out there don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about your city. | ||
| They exist to eat and kill things. | ||
| They don't have language. | ||
| They don't have culture. | ||
| They don't care about you. | ||
| And all our ideas about them are all from the Lion King and some fucking goofy-ass cartoons and movies, the anthropomorphized versions of these animals. | ||
| It's really ridiculous. | ||
| And that's where all this Cecil the Lion King shit comes from. | ||
|
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|
Cecil the Lion King. | |
| That's where all this Cecil outrage comes from. | ||
| Meanwhile, Justin Wren, who was on the podcast yesterday, told us that 5,000 children under the age of five die every day in Africa from bad water. | ||
| Every day 5,000 human babies die because they don't have water and we're worried about a lion that by the way killed Who knows how many other lion babies because that's what they do when you see a male lion and he is successful and he runs a pride Yeah run fucking T that lion has been killing baby male lions because that's what they do and When the babies are born and it's not theirs, | ||
| they just fucking slaughter them. | ||
| They slaughter them. | ||
| When they go into a new kingdom and they take over and they fuck some females and she's got males, little male babies, they fucking slaughter them. | ||
| They chase them down and they kill them. | ||
| I put a video up of it on Twitter. | ||
| People went crazy. | ||
| They went nuts. | ||
| Call me an asshole for putting up a video of nature. | ||
| It's nature. | ||
| This is what happens. | ||
| So these people that are happy now. | ||
| We finally have wolves in California. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| One day you'll be walking with your little cocker spaniel and a wolf's gonna come along and eat you and the cocker spaniel. | ||
| It's been a hundred years, almost, since we've had wolves in California. | ||
| So I think that's what they're more amazed at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These people are so fucking stupid. | ||
| Why don't they bring back dinosaurs? | ||
| We need more dinosaurs. | ||
| We're going to bring back dinosaurs to Arizona. | ||
| Arizona was an amazing place when dinosaurs roamed. | ||
| They used to fly. | ||
| They used to fly. | ||
| We're going to have pterodactyls. | ||
| Launch our first pterodactyl, governor. | ||
|
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|
Yay! | |
| They're going to open up the cage. | ||
|
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|
Ah! | |
| He's gonna swoop right back, kill the governor. | ||
| Somebody released a funny video where they showed that photo of Steven Spielberg in front of the dinosaur, and they went to people on the street and go, what do you think about that? | ||
| And almost everybody was just like, I can't believe he did that. | ||
|
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|
You should be held accountable. | |
| A fake triceratops, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess Nestle water just got caught from stealing a bunch of natural water, and so a lot of people are protesting Nestle for stealing California water while we're in this huge drought. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Yeah, Nestle pays only $524 to extract 27 million gallons of California drinking water. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| There's like four companies that get exempt from that water ban. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And they can sell it? | ||
| Yeah, the bottled water and alcohol and all sorts of things. | ||
| What kind of goofy deals have these assholes made with politicians that they could steal water during a drought and then sell it to us? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| For $524, they stole 27 million gallons of water from 12 Springs and Strawberry Canyon for the brand. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Isn't that ridiculous? | ||
| But yeah, we can't wash our car or take over a five minute shower. | ||
| Corporate America, folks. | ||
| Corporate America. | ||
| You know, corporations are beautiful in a lot of ways. | ||
| That's why we have these microphones. | ||
| That's why we have these laptops. | ||
| That's why we have cell phones. | ||
| It's all corporations that created them. | ||
| But corporations, they're all about infinite growth. | ||
| They constantly want to make more money. | ||
| Every year they're supposed to make more money. | ||
| If a corporation makes X amount of money one year and then the same X amount of money the next year, they're a failure. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Like if they made, like if Apple, Apple makes like whatever they make. | ||
| Let's just make a number. | ||
| Apple made $4 billion this year, right? | ||
| If they make $4 billion next year, they failed. | ||
| You're supposed to make $4 billion plus, the new money. | ||
| It's incredible, man. | ||
| It says here, the most popular size bottle of Arrowhead is one liter, and it retails for 89 cents, putting the potential profit for Nestle in the tens of billions. | ||
| So they're just making billions of dollars on water that they've taken from us while we're going through a drought. | ||
| It only costs 89 cents for a one liter bottle of water. | ||
| Why do I feel like it costs more? | ||
| Because vending machines? | ||
| Vending machines are always like a buck fifty, right? | ||
| Oh yeah, vending machines are super overpriced. | ||
| The whole thing is gross. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| It's gross across the board. | ||
| And it's also gross that there's a lot of crops that use this water, and there's a lot of waste involved, apparently. | ||
| There have been bills that were passed, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he was governor, said that they had come up with a solution, at least a partial solution. | ||
| And he was bringing it up to one of the other politicians and the politician was saying, even though this is an effective solution, I could never bring it before my people. | ||
| I can never endorse it because my people are the agricultural people and those are the people that keep me in office. | ||
| So I'm going to just tell you right now, well, we're just going to create a bunch of red tape and it'll never get passed. | ||
| And even though it's logical and it makes sense, I'll never support it. | ||
| He was like, what the fuck? | ||
| Like, this is what's wrong with politics, and this is what's wrong when you're dealing with people that are not really the representation. | ||
| They're not really representatives of people. | ||
| They're representatives of whoever got them in office. | ||
| They can pretend to be the representatives of the people. | ||
| Sort of like late-night preachers pretend to be the servants of God. | ||
| Really, they're just making money. | ||
| They're making money, and they're, you know... | ||
| You're supposed to give 10%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, late night preachers, they don't even want 10%. | ||
| They want everything you got. | ||
| One of the funniest things that they have conned people into doing is they figured out a way to tell people, like, I know you don't have any money. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know times is tough. | ||
| But what you have to understand is you have to have faith in the Lord. | ||
| Give everything you can. | ||
| The Lord will give you that back tenfold. | ||
| Like they tell you, if you're broke. | ||
| So they're going after people who are desperate and broke. | ||
| And they had all these people that would give these speeches. | ||
| They would talk about what happened to them. | ||
| And they were saying, well, you know, I was broke, and I didn't have any money, and times were tough, and I was wondering how I was going to take my bills and how I was going to pay for food, but I had this $100 that I was going to use towards my rent, but I said, you know what? | ||
| I'm giving this $100 to God, and everybody starts cheering and clapping, and then from that, oh, Lord, I got a new job, and I got a new car, and everything happened, and people are clapping and cheering, and music starts playing, and they build it up, and they're just, like, making you come. | ||
| It's like this stimulation thing that they're doing, and they're actively targeting people so stupid that they really can't do anything about it. | ||
| Like these people, it's like the right people to rip off, because these people are broke, and the reality is most people who are severely broke, they're gonna stay broke. | ||
| The vast majority, whatever it is, 60, 70, 80%, pick a number, they're gonna stay broke. | ||
| And so that's the ones that they go after. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| Nobody cares about them. | ||
| You rip certain people off, people get really frustrated and angry. | ||
| And you rip other people off... | ||
| Do you think in the future that's going to be not as big of a problem? | ||
| Do you think religion's shrinking or growing? | ||
| I think religion is probably overall shrinking, but stupid people are always going to exist. | ||
| And so if you call it a religion, or if you call it a cult, I mean, there's a lot of organizations that don't necessarily have some sort of a deity at the top of their structure, but they're still the same thing. | ||
| It's one person who is, or one group of people, whether it's Scientology or anything else, One group of people that is offering you a solution for how to live your life, and they have all these guidelines that they have set up, and they want you to contribute, and they want your money. | ||
| They want your money, and they want your time, and they want you to donate. | ||
| Did you see Going Clear? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| How fucking scary was that? | ||
| I think that any kind of cult like that is... | ||
| I just saw a celebrity wife swap. | ||
| I know this sounds weird, but Corey Feldman and Tommy Davidson were the two people that switched. | ||
| And they really showed you an inside look of how Corey Feldman treats his Corey angels, is what he calls them. | ||
| He's trying to do kind of like a cross between Hugh Hefner and Michael Jackson or something like that. | ||
| He pretty much has brainwashed these girls to follow anything he says and includes a contract that they have to sign. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, you know that Corey was an actor his whole life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you know he's probably a bullshit artist and it's most likely that this is a hustle. | ||
| Hustle maybe, but I know a girl, let me say this right, I know a girl that knows a girl, and that girl used to be one of his angels, and she left because it was too cult-like, and the things that you had to do, once a week they would have an orgy. | ||
| And then they would just do drugs, have an orgy, have people over. | ||
| And then the days after that orgy, you would work out, do yoga, eat healthy. | ||
| And she said to her friend how it was just like brainwashed girls looking for their chance in Hollywood. | ||
| And he would be like, oh no, you join this and you follow my plan. | ||
| Anyways, the episode goes really into that. | ||
| And it's watching them talk And watching how he reacts to the wife swap part of it, it's very interesting. | ||
| It almost seems to me that whatever had happened in his past, maybe with Michael Jackson or his childhood, is really affecting him as an adult because he's very... | ||
| Like, he's not making any sense. | ||
| He's just like... | ||
| Well, he's done a ton of drugs, first of all. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And, you know, I know a guy who was in, like, a swap situation before with no need to name celebrity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was the same kind of thing. | ||
| This guy, like, let his wife fuck other people and then we're all together. | ||
| And he, you know, he came out of it. | ||
| And one of the things that he said to me when he came out of it, he was like, you know, he told me the story. | ||
| He goes, listen, man, they're all fucked up. | ||
| Anybody that's involved in that kind of situation is fucked up. | ||
| Like, they're all crazy. | ||
| Like, that's part of what it is. | ||
| But if you're in Hollywood and you're in, like, that, like, wannabe showbiz circle, there's plenty of fucked up people. | ||
| You can find plenty of people. | ||
| And if you can come up with some sort of a name for it, Corey's Angels or whatever the hell he calls it, yeah. | ||
| You could do it. | ||
| L. Ron Hubbard was a fucking moron. | ||
| He was a moron. | ||
| His books were terrible. | ||
| They were terrible. | ||
| If you listen to him talk, he was not a charming guy. | ||
| He was not articulate. | ||
| He wasn't brilliant. | ||
| He wasn't this guy that had this point. | ||
| Even David Koresh, although he's a dipshit and he played stupid songs or the fucking idiot in Australia that claims he's Jesus, they have a certain amount Of confidence and smoothness to them L. Ron Hubbard didn't have any of that and meanwhile Scientology became a gigantic organization. | ||
| I think for a lot of people The structure any sort of structure is comforting and they're looking for something So like you know to get back to the original point is religion going away There's gonna have to be something big that happens to human beings for religion to go away and I wonder if that big thing People would have to be able to clearly see what you know and what you don't know. | ||
| It would have to be a fundamental change in how we communicate. | ||
| Because when someone tells you, I know that if you give that $100, the Lord will pay you back tenfold! | ||
| If you say that to someone who's stupid, they go, God, he knows. | ||
| He knows the Lord will pay me back. | ||
| I've got to give that money, and the Lord is going to pay me back tenfold! | ||
| You know, you really believe it. | ||
| But if you could see that, oh, he doesn't really know that. | ||
| If there was like a light bulb that went over a person's head when they were telling the truth. | ||
| Or you could look in their eyes and you could see the numbers. | ||
| Like there was actual, you know, like a turkey tester? | ||
| You ever, you know, gobble, gobble, gobble? | ||
| You ever see those... | ||
| The temperature gauge? | ||
| Yeah, those things that put... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pops out. | |
| They don't use those anymore. | ||
| They probably leak fucking chemicals. | ||
| You're probably not supposed to have plastic inside a turkey that you're cooking. | ||
| But something along those lines. | ||
| Like a temperature gauge or a number or something where you could see whether or not someone's being honest. | ||
| Where they really know what they're saying or whether or not they're bullshitting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's interesting about this Corey Feldman thing... | ||
| You're stuck on that shit. | ||
| If you watch it, you'll be as... | ||
| I mean, I went frantic on it. | ||
| I'm not gonna watch it. | ||
| Can we watch a little clip of him introducing you, his angels? | ||
| We're gonna get kicked off of YouTube for your fucking Corey Feldman obsession. | ||
| Would we? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Well, we can watch it over there, right? | ||
| Can we watch it over there and not really watch it? | ||
| We can watch it, but we can't... | ||
| Can we play volume? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Alright, we'll see what happens. | ||
| Jamie's got good editing skills. | ||
| Alright, play that bitch over here and freak me out. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These are the girls? | |
| This is not it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, that girl's hot. | |
| How's he getting that? | ||
| But it's the one right here. | ||
| Meet Corey Feldman and his angels. | ||
| The former child actor, scroll down, lives an eccentric and avant-garde lifestyle with his angels. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Avant-garde? | ||
| What does avant-garde mean? | ||
| Oh, look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Corey Feldman. | |
| You probably know me from Lost Boys, Goonies, Stand By Me. | ||
| I'm the prime of my youth, and I'll only be young once. | ||
| I started acting and singing simultaneously. | ||
| I've been a singer and musician for several decades now. | ||
| I am a bit eccentric, a bit avant-garde, but if I was just like everybody else, I wouldn't be on your TV sets. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| I have helped a lot of women with their careers in Hollywood. | ||
| And then I would realize they went off to be successful, and what did I get out of it? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| That's why I developed my company, Cory's Angels. | ||
| Cory's Angels is a management, production, and development business comprised of beautiful, talented women. | ||
| Girls sign a contract with us so that when they do succeed, I can get rewards as well for the work that I've put into them. | ||
| What? | ||
| When the girls become angels, they move into my house. | ||
| I see why you're obsessed now. | ||
| You fucking dragged me in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Lynn, I'm a professional actress, model, and I'm one of Corey's angels. | |
| I am Caitlin, and I am an aspiring actress, professional model, and Corey's angel in training. | ||
| I'm Courtney, I'm a DJ, and I'm Corey's mangel. | ||
| Hello, hello. | ||
| Also, I'm his girlfriend. | ||
| Cory has changed my life in so many ways. | ||
| He uses his own connections to help me be successful. | ||
| He's sexy and gorgeous and I love him. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Is this a polyamorous relationship? | ||
| As far as what happens behind closed doors, it stays behind closed doors. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We have a very kind of strict regimen. | ||
| Rule number one, we will put them on the angel diet. | ||
| That means no meat of any kind. | ||
| I'm a fruitarian, which means that I only eat fruit. | ||
| Number two, exercise! | ||
| I like watching you guys hop. | ||
| Number three, we don't allow men on the property unless they're invited guests. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| This lifestyle is not for the close-minded or faint of heart. | ||
| I strive every day to do God's will. | ||
| So he makes these girls wear these slutty outfits. | ||
| They have to wear these bra and lingeries. | ||
| They're not allowed to wear clothes. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| This is on ABC? Yeah. | ||
| He's on ABC. ABC's going desperado, huh? | ||
| They're desperate as fuck. | ||
| Network TV is desperate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what was really sad is that Tommy Davidson was the guy that they swapped with, and he has, like, a nice family, kids, and so they brought the angel over to his house, and the angel's, like, getting, like, bachelor parties and naked people in his house in front of his kids. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| You know that they arranged that. | ||
| The producers arranged that. | ||
| He seemed pretty pissed off. | ||
| He just left the house. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| Well, yeah, I'm sure there's fake shit to it. | ||
| This is all 100% fake. | ||
| 100% arranged. | ||
| This is all planned out. | ||
| Corey has his fucking one piece of hair waxed that hangs strategically in front of his face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is a scam. | ||
| What this is is Corey's shot at getting back on TV. And what he's doing is getting those girls with him, and it's working. | ||
| It's getting them exposure. | ||
| They're getting on TV. So his plan is to be this guy who's the ringleader. | ||
| I'm Corey. | ||
| These are Corey's angels. | ||
| This is the hustle we're going to get on ABC. And he's getting it for them. | ||
| But whether or not this is all real... | ||
| He's been doing the angel thing for a long time. | ||
| Of course, because this is his hustle. | ||
| This is how he's getting some form. | ||
| It's like a pyramid scam. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I mean, this is his entertainment shtick. | ||
| This is how he's getting some form of attention. | ||
| When these girls leave the Angels, he has contracts that he gets a percentage of everything they make from that on. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| You're going to get 50 bucks from the chick who works at Gatonna now. | ||
| What is he going to make? | ||
| I mean, if they do get big, they'll have him killed. | ||
| You know, if one of those girls gets huge, she becomes the next Rihanna or whoever the fuck she is, she'll have that guy killed. | ||
| Please watch it, though. | ||
| It's on Hulu. | ||
| Just smoke a joint, watch this. | ||
| Cut the brakes of his VW bug and push him off a fucking cliff. | ||
| He's an asshole. | ||
| Do you have that video of him at the baseball game? | ||
| He took his band. | ||
| You're obsessed. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| He took his band and he opened up or he played at a minor league baseball club. | ||
| Game. | ||
| And he... | ||
| Just watch it. | ||
| It's pretty ridiculous. | ||
| You are fucking obsessed. | ||
| So Chip, here's this band. | ||
| By the way, none of these instruments... | ||
| Somebody told me none of these instruments are actually... | ||
| They're not actually playing these instruments. | ||
| Of course they're not. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| You should be real about that? | ||
| Well, they're authentic with their art. | ||
| Oh, he's still doing the Michael Jackson thing. | ||
| That's why he has his hair like that. | ||
| State College Spikes? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It's a baseball team. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a minor league baseball team. | ||
| People don't know what to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at them. | |
| There's only like 20 people in the audience and they're looking at this like it's a... | ||
| Look at that one white guy bouncing around. | ||
| He even stopped. | ||
| He bounced for a little and people are like, what are you doing? | ||
| Oh yeah, you're right. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Look at this guy with his camera. | ||
|
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|
I'm gonna show my kid. | |
| The guy on stage, bottom right, just laughing his ass off at how ridiculous this shit is. | ||
| Look at him with his fucking shiny pants. | ||
| That guy is so bizarre. | ||
| And look at the girls. | ||
| But listen, man, if you're that guy and you have to be the guy that lets these girls fuck other guys because otherwise they're gonna get bored with you. | ||
| You weigh 15 pounds and you're a fucking freak. | ||
| He doesn't let guys into his... | ||
| Of course he does, dude. | ||
| They might not go into his house, but they have orgies. | ||
| They don't just have orgies with him. | ||
| Okay, other dudes are giving those girls dick. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| Macaulay Culkin. | ||
| He threw the hat down! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus! | |
| That guy's like, what the fuck? | ||
| The girl's like, get the hat, get the hat! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get Corey's out. | |
| Someone's going to toss it back to him here in a second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| What is this song? | ||
| He's trying to be Michael Jackson. | ||
| Well, he's like a combination of Michael Jackson and something else. | ||
| Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Eddie Vedder. | ||
| Eddie Vedder. | ||
| He's really weirdly pale, too. | ||
| Oh, here he is. | ||
| He's breaking it down for you. | ||
| He's breaking it down. | ||
| He can't make eye contact with people because they're all like looking at him like he's a freak. | ||
| So like he's doing all this crazy dancing and they're not reacting. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| And he doesn't look at them. | ||
| He's sort of like looking like At like their knee area. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There aren't a lot. | ||
| He did the Michael Jackson thing with the dancing. | ||
| He threw his hat again! | ||
| I would steal that fucking hat. | ||
| I would steal that fucking hat. | ||
| It's on the ground. | ||
| Why isn't anybody going for it? | ||
| These people are pussies. | ||
| Someone go. | ||
| You had your chance. | ||
| Look at the... | ||
| Oh, he's got tangled up in some cords and the angel had to rescue him. | ||
| He's tangled. | ||
| He's fucking tangled. | ||
| Look how little the stage is. | ||
| There's cords everywhere. | ||
| Is there like a hot air balloon holding those cords up? | ||
| Why is there cords that go straight up into the sky? | ||
| Why wouldn't he just stay in one place? | ||
| He was complaining that he got set up on this whole event. | ||
| Set up? | ||
| Yeah, that someone fucked him. | ||
| That's why he... | ||
| Why that's so bad. | ||
| How could someone set him up? | ||
| He's dancing. | ||
| They're saying that. | ||
| Because there's no one there? | ||
| Yeah, it was after a baseball game. | ||
| It was unprofessional and yadda yadda yadda. | ||
| Oh my god, he's an idiot. | ||
| He lost his Special Olympics gig because of this video. | ||
| What? | ||
| He was supposed to play the Special Olympics gig, and he lost it after this video supposedly, and he's upset about it. | ||
| The Special Olympics? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Can you imagine if he got booed by retarded people? | ||
| But this is shit! | ||
| I shouldn't say retarded because they have Down Syndrome. | ||
| Trans-tarded? | ||
| There's something wrong with them. | ||
| Retarded is not a real word. | ||
| That's why I resent the fact that you're not supposed to use retarded for people that are idiots. | ||
| And then I went and used it for people that have legitimate issues. | ||
| He might be retarded. | ||
| There's something wrong. | ||
| There's something definitely wrong. | ||
| But it's also like, there's that thing that happens when you become like a Gary Coleman or like someone who's a personal, you're a punchline. | ||
| And you're kind of on the outside like that, where they get real freaky. | ||
| They get, like, they get desperado and it all becomes one attempt after the next to try to get attention. | ||
| You know, you see it a lot from reality stars that, like, their 15 minutes ends and then they start scrambling to try to, like, do new stunts and new different things. | ||
| Do you remember that kid who was on The Real World? | ||
| His name was Puck. | ||
| Puck. | ||
| Is he dead? | ||
| No, I saw him on Sunset, like, maybe a year ago I saw him on Sunset. | ||
| Okay, how does a guy like that feed himself? | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| He looked like he wasn't. | ||
| But what does a guy like that do for a gig? | ||
| For a while, I bet he made money. | ||
| I mean, he was around 20 years ago though, but he probably made money on appearances for like 10 years just being Puck. | ||
| We still know his name. | ||
| Hmm, I guess. | ||
| I pulled it out of the back of my ass. | ||
| But the reason why I know it is because he was that guy that was like always doing exaggerated things and always being ridiculous to try to get attention. | ||
| It's a lot of those fucking people, man. | ||
| I mean, that's like what the reality show world sort of creates and produces. | ||
| It looks like Puck was in prison. | ||
| He's now an ex-con. | ||
| He's now living as a makeup artist who sounds like he hates women. | ||
| He was with OJ in prison for two years. | ||
| He was? | ||
| With OJ? Wow. | ||
| He was in for stalking. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He was in fucking jail for stalking? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Poor bastard. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| That's my point, is that these people that become like a punchline, they get to that. | ||
| And also, the other thing is, being a guy like Corey Feldman, I don't know him. | ||
| I'm sure he's a fine fella. | ||
| Never met him? | ||
| Never met him. | ||
| I'm sure he's a fine fella. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He doesn't seem like a mean person. | ||
| He's not a hateful person. | ||
| But This is where I think it's fucked. | ||
| That guy became famous when he was a little kid. | ||
| And I think when you become famous when you're a little kid, your odds of developing as an adult, like a guy that we can hang out with and talk to, just a normal, balanced person, they're almost fucking none. | ||
| I've only met a couple of people that I know were famous when they were young that I could hang out with and talk to. | ||
| Like Ricky Schroeder, he's one of them. | ||
| Ricky's pretty goddamn normal for someone who has grown up in the public eye, but he has been kind of out of the public eye for a long time, and he's got a family. | ||
| He's very close to his family. | ||
| He's got a lot of interests. | ||
| He makes documentaries. | ||
| He hunts. | ||
| Ricky's a different sort of cat. | ||
| So he's like one of the few that like was famous when he was young that I could hang out with. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Wouldn't you want to asterisk that maybe with like famous when young and still trying to be famous the whole time? | ||
| Because some people want to get out and they make it or they get out for a long time and they can come back. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| Jodie Foster was famous when she was young. | ||
| She was in Taxi Driver, and she's famous now, and she seems pretty fucking fun. | ||
| Seems fun. | ||
| What do you got there, Brian? | ||
| More Corey Feldman? | ||
| You're fucking obsessed. | ||
| We got some more news on Corey Feldman. | ||
| Two years ago, Corey Feldman told cops he was molested and named his abusers, but they did nothing because they were too focused on the Michael Jackson investigation, which seems suspect right there. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| He was abused by someone other than Michael Jackson? | ||
| Yeah, which he said that he writes the relationship with Jackson was the healthiest in his life and that he never abused him, which, you know, whatever. | ||
| But he said he was molested and he told the cops who molested him and they did nothing. | ||
| Well, why would he say that and not just say who molested him? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then he spiraled into drug abuse, having regular coke-off challenges with friends and doing heroin. | ||
| Have you ever been in a coke-off? | ||
| A coke-off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| What's your tolerance like? | ||
| I know people that can just sit there and do coke all day long and just whatever. | ||
| I'll have like one line and be like, okay, I'm good. | ||
| Gotta calm down now. | ||
| Well, that's because you drink so much coffee. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You go there already elevated. | ||
| Trenta right now. | ||
| Trenta has got to be unhealthy for you. | ||
| Two shots in there, too. | ||
| You know what's worse is getting a Trenta of cold brew, which is ten times more powerful than regular coffee. | ||
| Well, it's not ten times, but it is more powerful. | ||
| Starbucks says it's ten times. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We should look at that. | ||
| What is the new cold brew? | ||
| Dude, that could kill you. | ||
| If it was really ten times more powerful than regular coffee, that would literally be like that. | ||
| Have you ever seen that caffeine powder that they sell? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kids have taken, like, tablespoons of caffeine powder and died. | ||
| Like, it has absolutely killed people. | ||
| And I would think that if cold brew was really ten times stronger than a regular coffee, because we have those nitro cold brews. | ||
| I had a cold brew today. | ||
| This caveman coffee. | ||
| This shit right here, this stuff is goddamn delicious. | ||
| Cold brew concentrate, you take this... | ||
| You put a third of this in a glass, and then the two-thirds water is delicious, and it's awesome. | ||
| It's strong as shit, but it's not ten times stronger. | ||
| So, a 16-ounce Starbucks cold brew coffee, 16-ounce, which is, I guess, they're small. | ||
| It's 200 milligrams. | ||
| I don't think that's the small. | ||
| I think that's the grande. | ||
| 16? | ||
| 200 milligrams, I think that's standard. | ||
| Standard. | ||
| Cold brew, that's 16 ounces. | ||
| I think 200 is around what it normally is. | ||
| What's called Starbucks? | ||
| What makes you say it's 10 times stronger? | ||
| Because that's what they told me at Starbucks. | ||
| Oh, that's just some asshole behind the counter. | ||
| Starbucks ice, coffee, caffeine. | ||
| I was trying to sell you a script. | ||
| Dude, it's 10 times stronger. | ||
| It was brewed on an island where they make dinosaurs. | ||
| Read my script. | ||
| A 16-ounce iced coffee has... | ||
| Let's see, where's that at? | ||
| It's not 10 times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, if it's slightly more powerful, I'd be surprised. | |
| But, you know, Starbucks is pretty strong anyway. | ||
| Starbucks is way stronger than most coffee. | ||
| They put more coffee in the more grinds in the thing when they brew it up. | ||
| But the shit that we serve here is pretty strong. | ||
| Jamie makes it pretty goddamn... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thick. | |
| So iced coffee is... | ||
| Did you see Floyd Mayweather's new car? | ||
| He has a new car? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What's he got? | ||
| I don't even... | ||
| Koenig... | ||
| Koenigsegg? | ||
| Oh, Koenigsegg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| CCXR? Yeah, I've seen those things before. | ||
| 6.7 million, it says. | ||
| What? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Those things don't cost 6.7 million dollars. | ||
| Most things I've seen was 4.7. | ||
| This article right here says 6.7. | ||
| One of two. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| He drove it down to Fatburger on the Strip two nights ago, and such a crowd came that he had to get a flatbed to take it home because he didn't want to drive it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| The article said he was too scared to drive it home through the crowd. | ||
| Through the crowd. | ||
| Like, he didn't want to fuck it up. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Yeah, it's not ten times. | ||
| It's 40 milligrams more. | ||
| But, still, it's more. | ||
| That's some guy. | ||
| Ten times more red band. | ||
| Why would they tell me that? | ||
| Put me on dysentery. | ||
| I'll pretend that I'm a girl. | ||
| Come on, red band. | ||
| It's ten times more. | ||
| I hate when people do that. | ||
| I was posting all day on TMZ and then I came over here to work at Starbucks and I wanted you to have me on your show. | ||
| Have me on your show, man. | ||
| Come on, Red Band. | ||
| Have me on your show. | ||
| No, what's stupid is that you believe the guy worked at Starbucks. | ||
| Well, ten times seems pretty high and I thought, that doesn't seem I saw this today. | ||
| Did you see this today? | ||
| A kid fell and accidentally punched through a 1.5 million dollar painting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Play that. | ||
| Play that, because it's hilarious. | ||
| First of all, how fucking stupid are they where you could just have this thing right in front of people? | ||
| Like, watch this. | ||
| Kid slips. | ||
| Holding his drink and punched through a 1.5 million dollar fucking painting. | ||
| And then this lady comes over, oh ye- what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out of here! | |
| How is that just hanging up right there? | ||
| Why don't they have it encased in glass? | ||
| By the way, I went to the LA County Museum of Art the other day. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's one of the worst pieces of shit you'll ever go to. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It is like a fucking scene in a movie where you mock pretentious modern art. | ||
| Dude, I'm going to show you some pictures. | ||
| And these are real fucking pictures. | ||
| Did you see the painting that was just a white painting that had nothing on it? | ||
| Or the room where there's nothing in it except a chair? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I did. | ||
| Even better, I saw the box. | ||
| Did you see the box? | ||
| Which they're trying to say is a work of art, is a fucking plexiglass box. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| It's roped off. | ||
| Can you see that? | ||
| Can you focus in on that? | ||
| Just so people can see how fucking stupid this is. | ||
| And there's some sort of pretentious explanation for why this box is significant. | ||
| All it is is a fucking plexiglass box. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if you had it in your house, it might make a cool coffee table, I guess. | ||
| Like, oh, that's a cool coffee table. | ||
| Where'd you get it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a priceless piece of art from the LACMA, from L.A. County Museum of Art. | |
| That place is dog shit. | ||
| It is one of the worst fucking museums I've ever been to in my life. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I've gone on rants about this in the past because I love art museums. | ||
| Columbus Art Museum in Columbus, Ohio is a great museum. | ||
| Even the Huntington Library, which is here in Pasadena, I believe, is one of the best art museums I've ever been to. | ||
| This one, though, I mean, literally was a joke. | ||
| I was so pissed off after going to it of how many rooms. | ||
| You'd just walk into a room and there would just be like a shoe. | ||
| And you're just like, wait, that's it? | ||
| Well, I went with my kids, because I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the art museum. | ||
| My kids love art. | ||
| They could see some cool paintings and shit. | ||
| And I knew we were fucked when we first got there, because we walked into this room, and it looks like there's these curvy walls. | ||
| And I felt like, well, you go inside the curvy walls, there's probably some cool paintings. | ||
| No, the curvy walls were the fucking art. | ||
| And I went, no, we're fucked. | ||
| It's one of these places. | ||
| And there was all these super pretentious people that were like, please don't touch that. | ||
| Please don't touch that. | ||
| Everywhere you go, they're like, don't touch, don't touch, don't touch. | ||
| And one guy, I had my five-year-old on my shoulders. | ||
| She likes climbing on top of me. | ||
| She climbs on me all the time. | ||
| So she's sitting on my shoulder and he's like, sir, can you please take your daughter off your shoulder? | ||
| It's a safety risk. | ||
| I'm like, it's a safety risk. | ||
| For who? | ||
| For her? | ||
| I'm like, I'm not gonna drop her. | ||
| Are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| It's a safety risk? | ||
| I highly recommend taking them to the Huntington Library. | ||
| It's a cool place where they have gardens. | ||
| They have like, I don't know how many gardens, like 10 different gardens. | ||
| I've been, yeah, it's cool. | ||
| Each garden is like a different, like, oh, I'm in Japan now. | ||
| But they also have one of the best art collections ever, including like the Blue Boy and a bunch of really famous paintings where you're like, oh, that's interesting. | ||
| That's the, you know, the original Abraham Lincoln painting or whatever it is, you know. | ||
| The LACMA, it also, what is that, a rock that they have there? | ||
| Yeah, that's one of their things. | ||
| I want to fucking hit somebody. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Not only that, I paid and I didn't have to pay because I'm a resident of LA County. | ||
| You get in for free. | ||
| But I said, you know what? | ||
| I want to contribute. | ||
| I want to contribute. | ||
| So I paid. | ||
| Then they had fucking jazz, which is my other least favorite thing. | ||
| They had that and jazz together. | ||
| It's like super pretentious meets uber pretentious. | ||
| And they collide in a fucking shitstorm of hipsters. | ||
| Oh my god, it was so gross. | ||
| Then on top of it, like, they have all these art books for sale, and we're like, well, maybe they have some cool art books. | ||
| And this fucking shithead with his rolled cuff jeans are like, please be careful, that's a delicate book. | ||
| I go, no, it's not a delicate book, it's a book! | ||
| It's just a book, you fuck! | ||
| It's all it is, is a book! | ||
| It's made out of paper, like regular paper, like a regular book. | ||
| You fucking clown. | ||
| That was one of the biggest disappointments of my life, because I was looking forward to it so much. | ||
| I wasn't being rough with the book. | ||
| I wasn't even touching the book. | ||
| My seven-year-old was. | ||
| But she was just gently leafing through the pages of the book. | ||
| She wasn't doing anything rough. | ||
| Assholes! | ||
| And county-funded assholes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the gross thing, is that tax dollars go to support this. | ||
| They have one exhibit that's all junk. | ||
| It's called junk. | ||
| That's like part of the name of the exhibit. | ||
| And you go there, it's like bottle caps that are glued to like a cork board. | ||
| Like, you fucks! | ||
| You motherfuckers! | ||
| You put this on a frame and hung it on the wall, and you actually are charging people to see this? | ||
| Dog shit! | ||
| I mean, just total dog shit. | ||
| And what a waste of valuable space in Los Angeles. | ||
| I mean, there's rooms like ten times bigger than my house where it's just a light bulb. | ||
| They should just let homeless people move in. | ||
| They really should. | ||
| That should be the new museum. | ||
| It's the homeless people's shit collection. | ||
| Just let them shit all over the ground and you spray plastic on it to seal it and keep it in place forever. | ||
| Like, the homeless people turd pile. | ||
| That would be, like, more interesting than anything they had there. | ||
| If you, like, let homeless people shit, you can come in and shit, but you have to shit in this one spot. | ||
| And you go under the ropes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| That's it. | ||
| That's the fucking, that's that fucking thing, man. | ||
| God damn it, that makes me angry. | ||
| This wall, this curvy wall, which is kind of cool, you know, if it was, like, in your house. | ||
| I'd be like, ooh, you have cool walls. | ||
| But to say that that's a piece of sculpture, the fuck it is. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| How about that other one in the upper right-hand corner, like the sticks? | ||
| See the sticks? | ||
| They have like a half of a fucking side of a barn. | ||
| Oh, look at us. | ||
| We're crazy. | ||
| We're crazy. | ||
| Look at the one below it that's like a half of a house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look. | |
| It's like, this is what a house would look like if it was here. | ||
| You fucking assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm so angry. | ||
| I was angry though. | ||
| You know why I was angry? | ||
| Because I was trying to figure out which way to go. | ||
| Should we go to the Museum of Art? | ||
| Or should we go to the Museum of Natural History? | ||
| Should we see dinosaurs and cool shit from the past? | ||
| Or should we see art? | ||
| And we went with art. | ||
| Huge mistake! | ||
| Don't go again. | ||
| Massive area. | ||
| And not only that, this area is near one of the most important natural areas in Los Angeles, which is La Brea Tar Pits. | ||
| Mm-hmm See if you find the junk collection because if you want to fucking scoop your eyes out with spoons It's fucking junk collection. | ||
| Oh God God damn it. | ||
| It makes me angry. | ||
| It was so gross so gross and stupid See that one over there? | ||
| Scroll down. | ||
| The one with the feathers and the black right to the right of your cursor? | ||
| This is the tar and feather. | ||
| This is the tar and feather piece. | ||
| This represents tar and feathers. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| It's just feathers that you glued to a board and you're making people look at it. | ||
| You don't think people know what the fuck tar and feathers was? | ||
| What are you trying to say? | ||
| What are you trying to say with your shitty piece of art? | ||
| It's just like a kid's science fair. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like when they have to do like a construction board thing. | ||
| Like Yoko Ono is somehow responsible for this museum. | ||
| Well, Yoko Ono had an exhibit that I went to see once in Boston. | ||
| And one of the exhibits was a block of wood with nails in it. | ||
| And next to that was a box of nails and a hammer. | ||
| And they asked Yoko Ono, and they said, like, what is this about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And she said, I want people to contribute. | |
| They be enthusiastic about the art, so they contribute. | ||
| So she encouraged people to pick up a nail. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And hammer the fucking nail into that block of wood. | ||
| And I'm like, if you want people to be enthusiastic, take the nails... | ||
| And put them in your forehead. | ||
| Just put them right in your forehead and let people whack those. | ||
| You'll have a line around the block. | ||
| People will sign up months in advance. | ||
| Look at her art. | ||
| What does that say, incredible what? | ||
| Yoko Ono's incredible what? | ||
| Video. | ||
| They better be joking. | ||
| They better be joking. | ||
| Come on, HuffPet. | ||
| Reaffirms that she's the queen of everything. | ||
| Is that really what it says? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yoko Ono's incredible new video reaffirms she's the queen of everything. | ||
| No, she's the queen of tricking John Lennon into being with her. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band. | ||
| And she's like dancing and screaming. | ||
| You want to hear it? | ||
| it because it's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no, what's he doing here? | |
| Yeah, what's that dude from... | ||
| Questlove is there. | ||
| Why did you do it, Quest? | ||
| Get out of there, Quest. | ||
| I'm a bad dancer with no regrets. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| And we got interrupted by a pop-up for Huff to post newsletter. | ||
| No, I don't want your newsletter. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, no, no, no, no! | ||
| So, see that Ted Cruz guy over there? | ||
| I know someone who's having Ted Cruz come over their house for a fundraiser because they're a big supporter of Israel. | ||
| And we're invited to go. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out if I should go. | ||
| Some people are saying I should go just for the material. | ||
| But I'm like, no, I'm just going to get angry. | ||
| I don't want to get angry. | ||
| I mean, have you ever heard that guy talk? | ||
| He's Ted Cruz. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Why don't you Google Ted Cruz is a dummy and then find whatever videos they have. | ||
| He's like Sarah Palin if he was a guy with a head injury. | ||
| If Sarah Palin was a guy and he got hit in the head, he's not really running for president. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| Listen to him talk. | ||
| He's just so fucking stupid. | ||
| He wasn't even born in America, so I don't know how he's going to be a president. | ||
| He's born in Canadian land. | ||
| And they would never have him. | ||
| Listen to him talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And to coddle and appease our enemies. | |
| And so, Putin, you better believe Putin sees in Benghazi four Americans are murdered and nothing happens. | ||
| There's no retribution. | ||
| You better believe that Putin sees that in Syria, Obama draws a red line and ignores the red line. | ||
| First of all, stop right there. | ||
| Sounds like a gay man to me. | ||
| Is that a gay man? | ||
| That does not sound, I mean, not to stereotype too late, but there's a certain, there's a reason why we have this stereotypical gay voice. | ||
| There's a reason. | ||
| Why is that reason, Brian? | ||
| Getting fucked in the ass so much it makes your voice go higher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| No, because that's what they talk like. | ||
| Okay, listen, if I talk to you like this... | ||
| What am I? What do I sound like, Brian? | ||
| What do I sound like, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A large black man, right? | |
| A large black man. | ||
| A confident, large black man who's threatening. | ||
| Why? | ||
| We recognize that. | ||
| These exist in nature, right? | ||
| Okay, here's one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| What is that? | ||
| It's a bird. | ||
| Pterodactyl. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| No, pterodactyl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, ah! | |
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, there's sounds that things make, and you go, oh, I know what that is. | ||
| My fucking gaydar says that's a gay man. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Listen to him talk one more time, please. | ||
| First of all, I love gay people. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with gay people. | ||
| And not all gay people talk like this. | ||
| We've had gay people in the pod, like Josh Zeps, you would never know, looking at him or hearing him talk that he's gay. | ||
| Obviously he's gay. | ||
| Talks about being gay. | ||
| Unless it's a smokescreen. | ||
| This man says he's not gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, we will repeal every single word of Obamacare. | |
| Look at those people. | ||
| Old people are clapping. | ||
| You know why the old people are clapping? | ||
| They don't know any better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If enough congressional Democrats realize they either stand with Obamacare and lose, or they listen to the American people and have a chance at staying in office, that's the one scenario we could do it in 2015. If not, We'll do it in 2017. Okay, cut right there. | |
| That is a guy who's barely keeping it together. | ||
| He can't wait till that interview is over so he could run out of there and throw a dress on and put some makeup on and some women's shoes and just rip his underwear apart and just take it from behind. | ||
| There's not a doubt in my mind that that guy can't wait until that interview is over for him to be himself. | ||
| He's barely holding it back like a dam. | ||
| Like a creaky wooden dam holding back the river of his gayness. | ||
| A powerful, glacial river of gayness. | ||
| He, uh... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Am I right? | ||
| Or am I right? | ||
| I fucking challenge anybody to argue with me that that's not an effeminate man. | ||
| A very strongly effeminate man. | ||
| Which, again, there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| I don't know the guy, but he seemed kind of gay. | ||
| I would like a gay president. | ||
| I would love a gay president. | ||
| I think we could use it. | ||
| We could use a gay president. | ||
| We've had a black one. | ||
| I think gay before woman. | ||
| Lesbian? | ||
| Strong gay. | ||
| Strong gay man. | ||
| Strong gay man. | ||
| Lesbian one? | ||
| Sure, as long as she doesn't hate men. | ||
| As long as it's not one that had a rough experience with men. | ||
| A lot of men are dicks to women, man. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| I don't want anybody with prejudices. | ||
| You know, you're not responsible for all the men that have been dicks to that woman. | ||
| What lesbians do you know that you think could be a fine leader, other than Hillary Clinton? | ||
| She gay? | ||
| Or asexual? | ||
| She is married. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Good call. | ||
| So is Ted Cruz. | ||
| Melissa Etheridge. | ||
| That's a good call. | ||
| I say Melissa, but Melissa Etheridge thinks, and I love her to death, but she also thinks that if she's on a plane, everyone in the plane doesn't have to worry because she will not be in a plane that crashes because she creates her own reality. | ||
| But that's true. | ||
| You think that's true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's her simulation. | ||
| There's no evidence to the contrary. | ||
| It's like when we had Bert on, and Bert was talking about how he doesn't believe that you die. | ||
| He goes, prove you die. | ||
| I don't think you do die. | ||
| Prove you die. | ||
| I was like, you got a good point. | ||
| Can't really prove it, right? | ||
| I mean, you know that people have died in your life, and you know that things do die if you've ever seen a person die or seen a thing die. | ||
| Things die. | ||
| But do you die? | ||
| No, who knows? | ||
| Who knows if this is even real? | ||
| If you're listening to my voice, you have no idea if you die. | ||
| You really don't. | ||
| As far as you know, I am a figment of your imagination. | ||
| You have created this entire reality. | ||
| Everything from street lights to fucking clouds. | ||
| Everything is all a part of your absolutely spectacular and vivid imagination. | ||
| Every experience that you have, every sensory experience that you've taken in your entire life, may in fact be a part of your brain trying to make sense of your imagination. | ||
| And then there's Ted Cruz. | ||
| He's just dreaming about dicks. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I think we're all programmed. | ||
| I still believe it. | ||
| Well, you believe in simulation theory, right? | ||
| I believe that we are all programmed in the future. | ||
| Why is your program so weird then? | ||
| Because I'm stoned somewhere in 2,000 years from now. | ||
| But I was thinking how weird it is that we never... | ||
| No one is born and remembers anything, you know, the first couple years usually, like at least one year. | ||
| You know, like you're kind of just born and then you're slowly diluted into being, hey, I'm a live person, you know? | ||
| And there's like this whole gray area where you just kind of... | ||
| Yeah, at the beginning that you're just kind of like, I guess I... Well, there's a guy who has a theory about that, which is pretty fascinating. | ||
| I forget the gentleman's name. | ||
| But what he said was that you are not really thinking, like thinking as we know it, does not exist until you learn language. | ||
| And that until then, all you're doing is like having sensations and reactions to them, but you don't have reference. | ||
| You know when your mom is there, because your mom gives you love, you remember she gave you love, so you look forward to it, you cry to get her, and then she's in there, and you're like, the love is coming. | ||
| But you don't have an internal dialogue. | ||
| You don't know that, like, oh, here comes my mom. | ||
| Give up the tit, bitch. | ||
| Come on, I'm going to suck on some tit and get me some milk. | ||
| That's why it's funny when you have a meme with, like, a kid thinking, because you know the kids don't really think like that, or kids' words. | ||
| The idea is that once we develop a language, then we can put things into context. | ||
| And then we have words for all these things like chair, floor, door, light. | ||
| And we have this thing in our head like, man, someone shut that fucking door. | ||
| I'm tired of seeing that light come through. | ||
| And then you have that in your head. | ||
| If they would just shut that door, then the fucking light wouldn't come through. | ||
| God, I gotta get up in the morning. | ||
| And you have this internal dialogue. | ||
| And once that internal dialogue... | ||
| Comes on you know talking about anything else that you have a point of reference for or a word for then You're really thinking so what a kid is doing is like experiencing a bunch of things but not thinking about it They're not like recalling like they see it again. | ||
| They'll be scared like if the dog barked ah The dog freaked you out. | ||
| And you see the dog again. | ||
| The sound's coming. | ||
| But do you have this, oh, this fucking dog is going to start barking again. | ||
| Somebody shut him up. | ||
| That freaks me out. | ||
| They don't have that internal dialogue. | ||
| So that's why they don't remember anything. | ||
| That's why from the time where you're like a baby and you're newborn, what you really start remembering is once you hit like five, six, seven. | ||
| Once you have language and words. | ||
| Once you have words that you can recall. | ||
| Once you have things that you can bring up again. | ||
| My daughter will bring up stuff that happened to her when she was like three or four. | ||
| You know, she's like, remember that time we saw that thing? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, that was pretty cool, right? | ||
| Like, yeah, that was cool. | ||
| Like, and she's five, and she'll talk about something that happened a year ago. | ||
| But it's because a year ago, she had language. | ||
| You know, she could talk a year ago. | ||
| But like, she doesn't bring up some shit that happened when she was one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She doesn't remember it. | ||
| So late-term abortions till about two or three. | ||
| I think one. | ||
| Some kids talk. | ||
| Well, my daughter, the first daughter, was talking really good at one. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Like, some of them start speaking really young. | ||
| Some of them, they speak later. | ||
| It's an interesting thing. | ||
| Like, when is someone officially thinking? | ||
| I think they think that I think it's like the idea is that at 48 days after conception the soul enters the body was like the Eastern mysticism view or some some ancient view of like when when a Fetus is viable when it becomes a person That 48 days and up until then it was just a bundle of soul or a bundle of cells takes 48 days to install the operating system Well, something's happening. | ||
| You know, you're accumulating so many different, you know, your brain is growing. | ||
| You're accumulating senses. | ||
| You're accumulating your ability to perceive. | ||
| Your eyes are growing. | ||
| They're developing. | ||
| Your sensations are growing and developing. | ||
| It's really weird, man. | ||
| I had a dream about a girl that I haven't thought about in a long time. | ||
| I wake up and all I did for the rest of the day is like, oh, what's she doing now? | ||
| I should talk to her. | ||
| And then I texted her. | ||
| And I'm thinking, how interesting is it that something that I had no control of while I was dreaming was making me do stuff when I was awake? | ||
| And I was thinking... | ||
| How interesting that, you know, the whole shutting off when you go to bed and you're dead and, you know, when you're sleeping, you just don't know what's going on. | ||
| But having that world affect your awake world. | ||
| Why don't you say world? | ||
| World. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's an Ohio thing. | |
| No, it's not. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| No, Jamie says world, too. | ||
| Anything retarded that Brian does, it's an Ohio thing. | ||
| It's my block of Ohio where the gas leak occurred. | ||
| I might, but... | ||
| Say 1,000th. | ||
| 1,000th? | ||
| Everybody says 1,000th. | ||
| There's a TH on there and you have to say it that way. | ||
| 1,000th. | ||
| It is weird, though, to answer your question, that when you dream, you can dream about somebody and then when you're awake, you can think about that person. | ||
| I literally woke up and was like, man, I need to find out what this girl's doing. | ||
| It was almost not... | ||
| I was like being told to do something almost. | ||
| And it was just because of interest for me, but it was something I had no control of. | ||
| I didn't want to think of this girl. | ||
| But that's just like an example of something that's happened recently. | ||
| What other things, though, that you dream about and you don't even realize you had to dream about, but during the day you're like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to buy some new shoes. | ||
| And you're like, but you dreamt about shoes the night before. | ||
| You might not even remember, but you dreamt about red shoes. | ||
| Or you just like shoes. | ||
| It doesn't have to be connected with your dream. | ||
| That's a terrible reference. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I know what you're saying about the girl. | ||
| That is weird that people, they get contained in your memories. | ||
| And sometimes they get contained incorrectly. | ||
| Like, why is it about, like, exes? | ||
| Like, you, like, generally, a lot of times people, like, especially if you had a good time with that person, you only remember the good times. | ||
| And then you get with them again, like you haven't seen them in forever, and you start talking to them, and you go, oh, I forgot, you're fucking negative. | ||
| Still negative and they're still like bitching about everything and complaining and always looking at the downside of things. | ||
| That's something that for whatever reason, absence makes the heart grow fonder. | ||
| You know, we eliminate those poor memories and only want to think about the good stuff. | ||
| Except when there's police involved. | ||
| I just remember that. | ||
| Yeah, well, you have been in scenarios that have been quite a bit more extreme than myself. | ||
| You ever heard of the Mandela effect? | ||
| Mandala? | ||
| Mandela? | ||
| Like Nelson Mandela? | ||
| No, what is that? | ||
| It's Mandela, by the way. | ||
| Nelson Mandela? | ||
| Mandela. | ||
| When a large group of people have a vivid memory, that's all the same, but it's false. | ||
| Like, there's a large group of people that had a memory of Nelson Mandela dying in prison, but he obviously didn't die. | ||
| Is that like the Berenstain's Bear? | ||
| That's exactly where I was going with that. | ||
| It's come back around. | ||
| I know it's been talked about before, but it's come back around recently. | ||
| Yeah, now they're saying that we live in parallel worlds and stuff. | ||
| All it is is the Shel Silverstein. | ||
| I mean, I explained it last time. | ||
| Shel Silverstein came out the same time as Berenstain, and everyone just put the two together thinking it was the same Steen, and we just... | ||
| It's just a memory, especially for a word that's an odd word. | ||
| Berenstain is odd, but Berenstein is pretty common. | ||
| There's deep Reddit posts about it now, and a top theory is that someone's gone back in time and changed. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's Shel Silverstein. | ||
| Dude, people waste so much time. | ||
| Some fucking dude was tweeting me yesterday about the flat earth. | ||
| I looked up that video. | ||
| Oh my god, this guy. | ||
| I don't normally do this, but I couldn't help it. | ||
| This guy tweets me, I was weary at first, but Eric Dubé has some compelling arguments supporting flat earth that can't be explained. | ||
| So I tweet back in all caps, NO HE DOESN'T! And then he tweets me, have you extensively looked into his research? | ||
| First of all, if you're a fucking guy that's making YouTube videos about the earth being flat, that shit isn't research. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| You're not a scientist. | ||
| You're not wearing a lab coat. | ||
| You don't work for a major university. | ||
| Just because you're some fucking jack-off, alone in your room, obsessing about nonsense, that's not research. | ||
| That said. | ||
| So have you extensively looked into his research? | ||
| There's definitely some fuckery going on with most of the ISS footage, so which I quote, I wrote back in all caps, uh, no he doesn't. | ||
| No, it isn't. | ||
| Or no, there isn't. | ||
| No, there isn't. | ||
| No, there isn't any fuckery. | ||
| And then I just, I step back and just watch the comments. | ||
| The comments are amazing. | ||
| They're so fucking amazing. | ||
| People actually arguing for the flat earth. | ||
| People arguing against the flat earth. | ||
| You know who one of them is? | ||
| Max Eberle. | ||
| My buddy, Max Eberle. | ||
| How'd you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw it. | |
| Did you see it or did you guess? | ||
| Yeah, I see it. | ||
| I follow him on Facebook. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| My friend Justin texted me about it. | ||
| He goes, dude, I shit you not, Max is arguing that the Earth is flat. | ||
| I go, no! | ||
| Max is nuts. | ||
| He's so nuts. | ||
| And the Earth picture thing, too. | ||
| The Earth picture thing? | ||
| The same thing Eddie was talking about the other day, about where are all the pictures from Earth from space. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Christ. | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| It hurts. | ||
| Do they not know that snipers actually have to take into account the curvature of the earth when they're shooting people? | ||
| Because the bullets will drop. | ||
| There's a curvature of the earth. | ||
| That's a part of the calculation when you're trying to shoot somebody. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Fuckers. | ||
| Like, goddammit. | ||
| There's shit to think about, and then there's that. | ||
| But the horizon's flat, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Well, people love to fucking get worked up about nonsense. | ||
| You know, like, I posted about fucking Cecil... | ||
| I posted today about the fucking lion that killed the guy on the photographic safari thing. | ||
| So I put this on Facebook. | ||
| I go, a lion killed a safari guy in the same park where Cecil was killed. | ||
| The safari guy had a name and was loved by the locals. | ||
| The lion was not, in all caps, authorized to kill that person. | ||
| I hope the other lions do the right thing and protest. | ||
| I'm just fucking around. | ||
| And then I step back and watch the goddamn... | ||
| Fights that are going on in the comments section where people, first of all, are thinking I'm an asshole because I'm serious. | ||
| Joe, you're smarter than that. | ||
| You should know. | ||
| First of all, it reached 1.8 million people in the two hours we've been doing this podcast. | ||
| How the fuck that happened? | ||
| But, uh, Joe, you're smart. | ||
| We talked in person before. | ||
| Lions are designed to kill. | ||
| They have lion brains. | ||
| Will you shut the fuck up, stupid? | ||
| You're trying to sound smart? | ||
| You think I really think that that lion should have killed that? | ||
| I am glad. | ||
| Let me tell you this right now. | ||
| If there's a guy that's on a fucking photographic safari and the lion takes him out, I'm glad. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I've been on the 405 at 4 in the afternoon. | ||
| We could use less people. | ||
| We could use less people, and anybody that's willing to go on a fucking photographic safari, you're an asshole. | ||
| If you want to go on a photographic safari in the place where lions live, you're ridiculous. | ||
| You've watched too many movies, and for the sake of mankind, you probably should get taken out so everybody else could see. | ||
| Oh, okay, they're just lions. | ||
| These aren't lions that are in a movie. | ||
| These aren't lions from a book. | ||
| These aren't lions from a cartoon. | ||
| They're giant cats. | ||
| Big fucking cats. | ||
| I got a little cat at home. | ||
| And I take little things, I crumple up a little piece of paper, and I throw them across the floor. | ||
| She chases them, dives on them, and puts them in her mouth. | ||
| And she's a fluffball. | ||
| She's a cat. | ||
| These are 600 pound cats that regularly kill shit. | ||
| All day they kill things. | ||
| They're hardwired to kill anything that's limping, anything that's weak, anything that's in front of them, including some stupid fuck with a camera. | ||
| Walking. | ||
| You should be in an Iron Man suit, and you should be armed to the dick. | ||
| If you're gonna walk around where lions are, you should be like mocking them. | ||
| You should be in one of those, not the regular Iron Man suit, but the big one where the dude's inside of it. | ||
| The big fucking gray one that they had. | ||
| The Hulk killer? | ||
| Yeah, the Hulk killer Iron Man suit. | ||
| That's what you should be in. | ||
| Did you see Fantastic Four? | ||
| Of course I didn't. | ||
| I'm not seeing anything when they have kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They redo it and now there's like a young black kid that's the flame. | ||
| Stop with your diversity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Annie. | |
| Okay? | ||
| I saw the fucking comic book. | ||
| You know, Blade was black. | ||
| The flame was not black. | ||
| You're making him black. | ||
| I know what you're doing. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Stop. | ||
| It's like Annie. | ||
| Black Annie. | ||
| Black Annie. | ||
| Just make a new one, man. | ||
| I'm not against black superheroes. | ||
| Make a new one. | ||
| But when you say Superman's black, I'm like, come on. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| He's not black. | ||
| They're not doing that, are they? | ||
| They are now. | ||
| Someone was going to, yes, he should be. | ||
| Do you remember when they were saying that Santa Claus, they were doing a black Santa Claus and Megyn Kelly got really mad on Fox TV? Did you ever see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't remember that. | ||
| People are so mad at her! | ||
| There was a video on Fox TV where she was saying, Santa Claus is not black. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Let's just get it over with. | ||
| Santa Claus is not black. | ||
| No. | ||
| Santa Claus is not real, you fuck. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That's the correct thing you should have said. | ||
| Not that he's not black. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Saint Nick. | ||
| First of all, she's right. | ||
| There's not a lot of black people in Siberia. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But you know who is black? | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| That makes more sense. | ||
| Yeah, he was black. | ||
| Fucking skin of bronze and hair of wool. | ||
| He had hair like lamb's wool. | ||
| And his skin was black. | ||
| He was Sephardic. | ||
| He was a dark person. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Definitely didn't look like that hippie. | ||
| Let's let her play it. | ||
| Let's listen to her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She is. | |
| In Slate, they have a piece on.com, Santa Claus should not be a white man anymore. | ||
| And when I saw this headline, I kind of laughed, and I said, oh, this is so ridiculous. | ||
| Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa, you know? | ||
| And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white, but this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. | ||
| Listen, she's lying to your kids. | ||
| Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we're just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, is that hilarious? | |
| She's got, like, fucking... | ||
| For the kids! | ||
| She's gonna say it for the kids. | ||
| Just in case any kids are listening, Santa Claus is white. | ||
| White kids, listen, Santa Claus is white. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Show me a picture, Hooker! | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| Show me a picture of this fucking Santa Claus if he's white. | ||
| Two years ago. | ||
| Two years ago. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She's hot, though. | ||
| Why does everyone want to save the kids? | ||
| Kids are kind of smart. | ||
| Or at least they think they are. | ||
| They're way smarter nowadays. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so important to save the kids when it comes to Santa. | |
| Jamie, you don't know because you don't have kids, but my precious little babies need to be lied to. | ||
| They need to be lied to about Santa. | ||
| Megyn Kelly's gonna lie to them, right? | ||
| I know this kid, he gets bullied all the time. | ||
| And I actually got to see the bully bully him on the playground a couple months ago. | ||
| And I was telling him, like, you know, you should get him back. | ||
| And he goes, I am, I am. | ||
| And we made a plan where we photoshopped. | ||
| We found a photo of his bully. | ||
| And we photoshopped him kissing another kid that's another bully. | ||
| And then we printed out a bunch of them and then put them all around the playground. | ||
| I love it, dude. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Right, but it's so cool nowadays with these kids. | ||
| When I was 11, I never thought about doing crazy things like that to get back to the boy. | ||
| I just hid or something like that. | ||
| But nowadays, kids are so advanced that even when dealing with bullies, they're using technology. | ||
| They gotta be careful, though, that that kid doesn't find out who did it and beat the shit out of them. | ||
| The problem with... | ||
| Yeah, man, but fucking why is it a natural instinct for people to do that to little kids? | ||
| It's a natural instinct, right? | ||
| Like for those big kids to pick on little kids, it seems like almost like a natural instinct. | ||
| It's a fucked up instinct because like if you're bullied, like bullying for me led me into martial arts and it helped me ultimately. | ||
| Like that fear of people kicking my ass led me to go and train and do martial arts. | ||
| But, for some people, they don't do anything about it, and they have a particularly evil... | ||
| My bullying was very gentle. | ||
| Nothing bad happened. | ||
| Nobody put me in the hospital. | ||
| Nobody stole things from me or terrorized me. | ||
| I just was scared of certain kids, and certain kids fucked with me, and I avoided them. | ||
| I'd see them in the hallway, and I'd go the other way. | ||
| I'd try to find another way to get to the bus, or go way all the way around. | ||
| Look around the corner, make sure that a certain kid that I was scared of wasn't there. | ||
| But it was fairly mild as far as bullying goes. | ||
| But we all know somebody who's like beaten up by bullies. | ||
| That shit can change your life, man. | ||
| It could devastate your confidence. | ||
| It could ruin your whole year. | ||
| It could lead to depression. | ||
| It could lead to drug use. | ||
| Like and I don't know what the fuck can be done for that other than I've always suggested that Teaching kids martial arts in school would be a great way to avoid bullies because Avoid bullying because they would develop confidence and they would develop discipline and they would understand That that kind of shit is pathetic that running around and beating on kids like this kid that you're talking about and They actually not only do martial arts in school, | ||
| they actually do the opposite of doing things like kickball or games where they're actually kind of promoting bullying. | ||
| What's the one where we all had the lineup? | ||
| Dodgeball. | ||
| It's like, right, you're teaching dodgeball, which is hurting other people, but instead we could have learned karate or whatever. | ||
| Dude, I used to fucking avoid dodgeball like the plague. | ||
| Because I was in, when I was 14... | ||
| It was the only time I remember dodgeball. | ||
| But this is like before I started martial. | ||
| Well, I was kind of just starting karate. | ||
| And I was scared of everybody beating my ass. | ||
| You know, it was new in this neighborhood. | ||
| Just moved there. | ||
| It was my first year in this neighborhood as a freshman in high school. | ||
| And then there's these fucking kids that were lighting kids up with these balls, man. | ||
| Just fucking whipping these balls at kids. | ||
| And they'd get hit in the face and everybody would laugh. | ||
| And I'm like, this is crazy. | ||
| Dodgeball is fucking crazy. | ||
| And choosing partners. | ||
| Remember, you had to choose. | ||
| We all had to line up. | ||
| I want Jeff on my team. | ||
| I want Todd on my team. | ||
| And then just having to go through being picked the last. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| There's so much fucked up shit that they do to you as a young kid that you don't realize that's teaching you. | ||
| This is your place in life. | ||
| Yeah, like your first place, your second place. | ||
| Sorry, you came in last place. | ||
| Now we're going to throw a ball at you. | ||
| You know Malcolm Gladwell, he's got a book called Outliers, about people that perform really well at things. | ||
| And one of the things that he brought up in this book was how important being successful is, being born at a certain date. | ||
| But a certain time a certain time of the year because if you're born at a certain time in the year you miss the cutoff and you're older than the other kids in your class and so like they were talking about like hockey players and that something about like it was like you know X amount of players a huge percentage of them were born later They had a rule or something, I think, in Canada. | ||
| If you're born on January 1st or December 31st, you're playing with this group or that group. | ||
| And you could be the oldest kid, or you could be the youngest kid, actually, if you're born on the 31st. | ||
| All your friends are the day after you're in another league. | ||
| Yeah, so if you're one of those kids that's like nine months younger than the other kids that are the you know They're all 12 right, but one kid is like nine months older or ten months older. | ||
| That's fucking significant Really significant when it comes to sports and his theory is and it's it's really correct that the advantage that those kids have by being older Leads them to get better as well like one of the things about jujitsu This is a very important lesson for anybody who knows jujitsu because a lot of people don't like this aspect of jujitsu. | ||
| Some people have this meathead idea that the way to get good at jujitsu is to go against the hardest guys, get your ass kicked, and that's how you learn. | ||
| Actually, that's the wrong way to learn. | ||
| The best way to get good at jujitsu is to strangle blue belts. | ||
| You go and you find people that are just learning, but they're not as good as you, and you choke the fuck out of them. | ||
| That's how you get really good at your technique. | ||
| And people say, well, that's bullying. | ||
| Well, It is important for the blue belt to, at some point, spar with black belts. | ||
| It is important. | ||
| Or purple belts or brown belts. | ||
| Because you need to know that there's a higher level of proficiency, there's a higher level of skill, and then there's a shorter distance in between points that these guys are hitting. | ||
| They're cutting the chase, they're capitalizing on very small openings, and they... | ||
| They clamp down, and when they capitalize on these small openings, they get submissions quicker. | ||
| So you have to know that there are guys that are better. | ||
| That's important. | ||
| But to drill, the most important thing is drilling. | ||
| And when you drill, you drill with someone of your level, and you just practice on each other. | ||
| Like, you choke me, and you'll do it twice, and I'll choke you, I'll do it twice. | ||
| And it's just practice. | ||
| And maybe you resist like 50%. | ||
| Sometimes when you're doing a drill and I'll pretend to be resisting, I'll resist a little bit so that you strangle me because that simulates real life. | ||
| It simulates how it would be and you're supposed to be building your muscle memory. | ||
| But the real way to do it after you do that to get it really sharp is to practice on people with a limited amount of proficiency. | ||
| Just to choke the shit out of them. | ||
| So that's like the way that you ultimately get better is to practice on people that aren't quite as good as you. | ||
| And then you eventually develop and you get to a point where, you know, that seems kind of impractical, you know? | ||
| But, I don't remember what my point was. | ||
| Choking people, sports... | ||
| Going against different belts, kid teaching, bullying... | ||
| Oh, getting better. | ||
| So, the idea by that is, the real problem with that is, if you're in a school and, say, you're the only white belt... | ||
| And everybody else is a brown belt or a black belt and you're training with them. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| You might not ever get good. | ||
| You just might get wrecked all the time. | ||
| And that's the idea with kids that are in sports that are so much younger than everyone else in their class. | ||
| Or if you're pretentious and they bring you're precocious and they bring you into class early, he skipped a grade. | ||
| So you're in seventh grade now, Billy. | ||
| Well, you got to go to seventh grade football. | ||
| Good luck, you little fuck. | ||
| He's going to get run over. | ||
| One of my best friends growing up, the whole time we were playing sports, his birthday is a week after mine, but he's a whole year older than me, and so he played sports with us the whole time. | ||
| He's smaller than me and doesn't look like he's bigger than all of us, but he would beat the shit out of every single person we would play, every sport, football, basketball, baseball, track, when we got to high school. | ||
| For some reason, he was better than everyone in that, too. | ||
| He was a ninth grader, and he was a starting freshman running back on the varsity team in the newspaper. | ||
| But he was a whole year older than everyone. | ||
| Ah, well, that's what it is. | ||
| Fifteen years ago, no one was really engaging. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's a big deal, because your body develops very rapidly. | ||
| At a young age, and so these young kids that are older than everyone else in their class, they have this significant advantage, and that advantage, according to Gladwell, it accelerates them onto success as a professional. | ||
| That because you have an advantage, you continue to get better, and you can exercise that advantage over other people, which sharpens your skills. | ||
| Just like, you know, the idea of taking, you know, getting really good because you're strangling blue belts. | ||
| It's not good for the blue belt, but it's good for you. | ||
| Because you're already ahead of them, so you're going to get better and better and better and better. | ||
| I was held back in third grade when my parents got divorced, and I was a little young, and that didn't help me at all. | ||
| But you didn't try! | ||
| You're not into sports. | ||
| You didn't even try. | ||
| What sports did you ever play? | ||
| Soccer. | ||
| Did you play soccer? | ||
| How much did you try? | ||
| On a 1 to 10? | ||
| 3? | ||
| I hated it. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| I was born in August. | ||
| I don't think that's a good month for professional sports. | ||
| Like if you wanted to go on teams. | ||
| But I didn't do it. | ||
| I mean, I only played baseball when I was little until I found martial arts. | ||
| But if I wanted to be a professional athlete, like a soccer player or a hockey player or whatever, probably not a good month. | ||
| I think the good months are like February or something like that. | ||
| February, March. | ||
| That's when the season starts, usually. | ||
| Well, you're also like late in the year, you know? | ||
| I forget what they said, what year it was, what Gladwell said, or what time of year, rather, was the best to start. | ||
| It was an interesting thing, too. | ||
| He had a thing talking about what the best year to be born was, like in the 20th century. | ||
| And it was like in the early 1930s, because it was right after the Depression was over, and like right after World War I, So, like, there was a lot of jobs to be had, the economy was booming, and then you were at the front of the line for, like, this big baby boom that came on after that, before World War II. So you would be in positions of management, you would have these advantages. | ||
| It's really interesting when you think about, like, how lucky... | ||
| You can be or how unlucky you can be in certain situations and how that, like we're talking about bullying, can sort of flavor your whole life. | ||
| Like an unlucky roll of the dice can flavor your whole life. | ||
| And also he was talking about people that were born and that went through World War I. And he was like, well, even if you went through it, by the time you were out of the military, by the time you were trying to establish your life, you were already in your 40s. | ||
| Like, you're already, like, trying to start a career at a time where most people are already clearly established. | ||
| Really interesting when you really stop and think about, like, most of us don't engineer our lives. | ||
| You sort of just make the best with what you've got. | ||
| But there's a lot of consequences. | ||
| There's a lot of factors that play on behind the scenes that we really don't take into consideration when you consider, when you really think about, like, where you are in life. | ||
| I mean, hard work and dedication and focus, all those things are hugely important. | ||
| The ability to stick with something, the ability to put in the work, to get up, to be disciplined. | ||
| But also, there's a lot of shit that you don't have anything to do with, man, that absolutely factors in. | ||
| But then there's that bitch-ass part of people that go, well, he's only fucking... | ||
| He got there because he's lucky. | ||
| You know, he's only playing football for the fucking Dodgers. | ||
| Or for the Dodgers? | ||
| He talks about Bill Gates and his 10,000 hours of mastery and whatnot. | ||
| But a lot of what he's talking about here is that he got... | ||
| Lucky or what not because his child at home was really close to the University of Washington. | ||
| He had access to some computer programs that other people might not have had the opportunity to get a hold of. | ||
| True. | ||
| So he might not have been Bill Gates without being in the spot he was at the time he was. | ||
| True. | ||
| But he might have been something else, too. | ||
| I mean, it's also what he did. | ||
| Like, Bill Gates used to work from, like, 2 o'clock in the morning until 4 o'clock in the morning or until 6 o'clock in the morning coding. | ||
| His mother would try to wake him up, and he was always exhausted. | ||
| She couldn't figure out why. | ||
| Because the dude was up all night coding. | ||
| It's the best time to work. | ||
| Well, she would put him to bed and he would, like, pretend to sleep. | ||
| Then he'd wake up. | ||
| He'd sleep for a couple hours and then get up and code. | ||
| And I think that people that become successful, for the most part, they become successful because they figure out a way. | ||
| But would they have figured out the same way? | ||
| Would they have figured it in another way? | ||
| Or would they have been discouraged because of poor circumstances? | ||
| You know, how many people who became successful got, like, take me for example. | ||
| Not maybe with stand-up, because stand-up is like something you either just can do or you can't do. | ||
| And you have to put in the work. | ||
| I don't see any easy roads for stand-up. | ||
| If you get good at stand-up and you're headlining and killing, you put in the work. | ||
| There's just no other way around it. | ||
| But TV-wise, I got lucky as fuck. | ||
| I only auditioned for two TV shows ever, and I got both of them. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Total dumb luck. | ||
| Got on MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour because of stand-up. | ||
| Then I got a development deal. | ||
| The development deal led me out to Hollywood where I... Disney gave me a bunch of money. | ||
| And I auditioned for a show. | ||
| Just got total dumb luck. | ||
| They were looking for some athletic guy to be in this baseball show. | ||
| Got that. | ||
| Then auditioned for news radio. | ||
| Got that. | ||
| Two shows. | ||
| Both of them on TV. Just total luck. | ||
| Unquestionably lucky as fuck. | ||
| And then even Fear Factor. | ||
| Lucky as fuck. | ||
| They wanted someone who had already been on TV. They wanted someone who understood competition. | ||
| And they wanted someone who was like a comedian that could work on the fly. | ||
| Luck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pshh. | |
| Here I am. | ||
| Dumb luck. | ||
| So those things, I will never... | ||
| Total dumb luck. | ||
| But, also, you gotta fucking show up. | ||
| You gotta do the audition. | ||
| You gotta not choke. | ||
| Like, there's non-luck factors as well. | ||
| Like, there's certainly luck involved in everything that happens. | ||
| But there's a lot of other people that were trying out for that same show that were probably just as qualified as me, especially the first show, and they didn't get it. | ||
| Because they probably choked. | ||
| Maybe my luck was that I had gone through martial arts competitions, so I was less likely to choke. | ||
| Because I had done scarier shit, so I was used to performing under pressure. | ||
| So maybe there was luck in that. | ||
| Luck in the fact that I had this background. | ||
| But that's not necessarily luck either, because that was fucking hard to do. | ||
| So it's like this black and white thing that people want to put into, you know, when you look at, like, this guy succeeded because of hard work. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| Maybe he succeeded because of hard work and what time of the year he was born and that he was older than the other kids in his class and he worked hard and he got there. | ||
| There's a lot of factors. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking factors in everybody's success. | ||
| There's a new drone prototype that Sony just released, and it can carry up to 22 pounds of cargo, and it can go up to 106 miles an hour and fly up to two hours. | ||
| How many bullets is that? | ||
| But there's a really cool video that I sent you, Jim, that it's showing it flying. | ||
| It looks like a mini airplane, unlike the drones that we know of where they're usually like circular or like a square or something like that. | ||
| This looks like a little mini jet. | ||
| But... | ||
| I thought it was interesting because it can carry up, you know, 22 pounds is a lot for something to carry. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| Like, look at the way that thing just took off. | ||
| How come they can't make planes like that? | ||
| They do. | ||
| They have planes like that. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, for people. | ||
| Like, not just like for jets, like for fighter jets. | ||
| Like, look at the whole front end of that thing. | ||
| Why can't they fill that up with fucking passengers and have that big circle in the center be that helicopter thing that makes it just take off straight? | ||
| That's pretty dope. | ||
| There's another video below it that shows a little bit more of it flying. | ||
| But they're thinking about selling this so it could be used for, you know, like Amazon and stuff like that and pizza deliveries and things like that. | ||
| That's going to be a real problem, man. | ||
| It's going to be a real problem for amateur pilots, for sure. | ||
| I mean, if they fill the skies, if they become so many of those things, I mean, think about if these things become as common as, I mean, they probably won't, but as cell phones. | ||
| And they're just flying around all over the place. | ||
| People are sending people things. | ||
| Hey, man, can I borrow your baseball? | ||
| Sure, I'll fly it over to you. | ||
| Program it in. | ||
| You see, this is in Ohio, right? | ||
| This was a second one that just happened today. | ||
| Arrest and drone plot to supply prison contraband. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| This is in Maryland, I believe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ohio just had one also where people are smuggling in drugs into courtyards and stuff like that. | ||
| Well, do you know why? | ||
| They got caught because the wrong people got the drugs and there was a fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look, guns. | ||
| Guns in prison? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They're smuggling in guns. | ||
| What are those things? | ||
| Pokemon cards? | ||
| Well, what are they going to do when people start smuggling in 3D printers and they can just build whatever the fuck they want in jail? | ||
| Is that Pokemon? | ||
| It might be tobacco. | ||
| That was the most of what they had on that other one. | ||
| Those little things are tobacco? | ||
| Could be packets. | ||
| That's what this is on top. | ||
| Who cares what it is? | ||
| Just the idea that they can just fly it in and drop it off. | ||
| Did you hear about the Pokemon convention? | ||
| Was it yesterday? | ||
| Oh, I get the newsletter. | ||
| I'm part of the fan club. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| No, there was two gunmen that came into a Pokemon convention. | ||
| Enough! | ||
| Armed with 250 rounds or something like that. | ||
| Everybody over 18 dies! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Pokemon attack. | ||
| I mean, who attacks Pokemon people? | ||
| They're like the most adorable, nicest people in the world. | ||
| But look at that. | ||
| You said... | ||
| Do you not like the word world? | ||
| I don't like world. | ||
| Is that how you say it? | ||
| World. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
W-O-R-L-D. Why do you put the R before the O? It rolls off the tongue easier than going world. | |
| World? | ||
| World. | ||
| World. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| World. | ||
| No, no, you don't say it like that. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| The world. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| World. | ||
| No, that's the right way. | ||
| That's why I say it. | ||
| No, you say world. | ||
| How does he say it, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You say W-R-O-L-D. You're confused now. | |
| I can't even hear it. | ||
| It's the best thing in the world. | ||
| World. | ||
| World. | ||
| Okay, keep saying it like that. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| No, that's what I say! | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| You say world. | ||
| Like world. | ||
| World. | ||
| No, it doesn't even say world. | ||
| World. | ||
| This is world. | ||
| W-R-O-L-D. That's what you say. | ||
| World. | ||
| World. | ||
| The best thing in the world. | ||
| World. | ||
| Well, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Alright, we gotta get out of here because it's about, we're at two hours in, and I got a boogie. | ||
| Do we cover everything that's important in the world of the internet? | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| If you see these things and you, you know, is anything fucked up, just tweet it at us. | ||
| We're trying to do these if we can, if we have the time, once a week, but it's tough. | ||
| Thank you, Brian. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Always a good time. | ||
| Yeah, plug. | ||
| Dates, what do you got? | ||
| Tomorrow we got a secret show with Russell Peters, Tiffany Haddish, Tony Hinchcliffe, Dean Del Rey, some secrets, and then Friday. | ||
| Will Tiffany Haddish be queefing into the microphone? | ||
| No, but Tiffany Haddish's show... | ||
| She's done queefing? | ||
| Yeah, she doesn't do that anymore. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because she's on television now? | ||
| She's on NBC now. | ||
| And you can see her show Wednesday also. | ||
| Gerard Carmichael show. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And also, I have a show in Ventura, California, Friday at the Hong Kong Inn, doing a full set there. | ||
| Yeehaw. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Deathsquad.tv for more details. | ||
| Redband on Twitter. | ||
| And that's it, you fucking savages. | ||
| See you soon. | ||
| Bye-bye. | ||
| Big kiss. |
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