Aug. 5, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:59:30
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I wish I knew, like, foreign languages so I could say something like, you know, bonsoir mon amis, but I don't know what that means. | ||
| So I might be saying something stupid. | ||
| Hello, everybody in English. | ||
| This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, which we were talking about before the podcast even began. | ||
| So we're not bullshitting you when we tell you it's awesome. | ||
| Powerful Nick Youssef uses Squarespace. | ||
| Brian's made at least 20 or 30 websites, right? | ||
| If you had a guess? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| It's super easy to do. | ||
| It used to be a huge pain in the ass if you wanted to get a website. | ||
| Unless you were super lucky and knew some guy who was awesome and was easy to deal with, like me. | ||
| I have found an awesome guy. | ||
| But if you, my friend Menthol. | ||
| But if you don't find that, you're fucked. | ||
| You know, you gotta try to learn coding yourself. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| It's difficult. | ||
| And it's also, it used to be really difficult to mash things up. | ||
| Like for one browser, it would look great, but then you would see it in Safari, it would look all wonky. | ||
| Or, you know, it'd work good with Windows, but it wouldn't work with a Mac or whatever it was. | ||
| There was always issues with compatibility, like iPhone compatibility. | ||
| A lot of times that would be squirrely. | ||
| Squarespace, they have it set up where your website will work on everything. | ||
| It'll work on an Android phone. | ||
| It'll work on an iPad. | ||
| It'll work on one of those tablets of unknown origin that you run various operating systems on. | ||
| It just fucking works. | ||
| Works awesome. | ||
| You can set up an online store. | ||
| Super easy to do. | ||
| Just point and click, drag and drop. | ||
| They have 24-7 support. | ||
| It's simple, easy, beautiful designs. | ||
| And it looks completely professional. | ||
| Like, look at this website. | ||
| He's slapping together a website right now. | ||
| A Nick Yusuf website. | ||
| And he can do it like that. | ||
| I mean, it comes out like you hired somebody. | ||
| Like you spent a lot of money. | ||
| And you can bang them out quick. | ||
| They just got it wired. | ||
| They figured it out. | ||
| Like, there's no need to go anywhere else anymore. | ||
| You can make your own shit, especially if you're even remotely creatively inclined, but you were just technologically ignorant, you know? | ||
| If that was the case, this is super easy to use. | ||
| Squarespace has a logo creator. | ||
| You can create a clean, simple logo design for yourself in minutes. | ||
| For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, go to squarespace.com and enter in the code word JOE. Squarespace, a better web, starts with your website. | ||
| That's what they make you say. | ||
| That's their part. | ||
| It's really easy. | ||
| It's so drag and drop. | ||
| Like, if you want to map... | ||
| Like, say if you have a store and you want a Google map. | ||
| No, I love them. | ||
| I'm going to eventually... | ||
| You just drag it right there. | ||
| If I get some time, I want to make my own website. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I made mine in like four hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But the one you just made is better than mine. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Ting. | ||
| I got my new Ting phone here. | ||
| Ting is the official... | ||
| I got the Galaxy S5. Oh, cool. | ||
| Yeah, I just got it. | ||
| I'm a phone whore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's my little phone whore device. | |
| It's a dope little phone. | ||
| I like the fact that it's waterproof. | ||
| That's pretty slick. | ||
| That's the new thing. | ||
| They're all becoming waterproof. | ||
| It makes so much more sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| You can drop this phone in water, dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's just like, what? | ||
| Gets out of the water. | ||
| What, bitch? | ||
| Water resistant. | ||
| Some of them are actually waterproof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I believe there's a Sony that's actually waterproof, which is pretty fantastic. | ||
| Ting is a website, or Ting's a mobile service company that uses... | ||
| What they do is you buy your phone from them, and then they handle all the rest. | ||
| It all goes through the Sprint backbone, but you do it by their rules, and their rules are just a lot fairer, a lot easier for people to digest. | ||
| I think everybody enjoys paying for things that are worth it. | ||
| It's nice when you go to a good restaurant and you get a nice meal and you pay for it. | ||
| You feel good about it. | ||
| It was a good experience. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| You leave there. | ||
| Whatever you spent was totally worth it. | ||
| It's always a shitty feeling when, even if you enjoy something, if you feel like you got fucked over or you feel like it's too much or you feel like it's not fair... | ||
| And for the longest time, the way cell phone companies have done business has irked a lot of people. | ||
| One of the things being that you pay for your minutes. | ||
| Like, you know, you have this thing like 120 minutes. | ||
| But if you don't use that 120 minutes, you don't get any money back. | ||
| Like, that money's just gone. | ||
| Like, all that time is out in the ether. | ||
| And Ting was like, well, why do you have to pay for shit you're not using? | ||
| How about this? | ||
| How about we work out a really simple... | ||
| Way to do it where most people would save money and we just do it by the minute like whatever you use That's what you pay for if you don't use that much you pay less and if you want to save money use your fucking phone less you know like you could really do that and Ting figured out how to do it and I think that all cell phone companies in the future are probably gonna follow that model I think it's gonna be one of those things like remember used to pay for roaming You'd get in your phone and you drive 20 minutes or you get in your car rather and you've got you every phone on you and 20 minutes outside of the city, you'd be roaming. | ||
| So it cost you some ridiculous amount of money. | ||
| Where'd all that go? | ||
| All that shit went away. | ||
| It had to go away because companies like Ting come along and they come up with a better way to do it. | ||
| And that's what I feel. | ||
| I think the minute, the whole minute thing is going to go away soon. | ||
| Because I was just thinking, how many minutes a month I use on my cell phone talking? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd barely talk on my phone. | ||
| Do you think you use a minute a month? | ||
| I bet 10 minutes a month. | ||
| No doubt. | ||
| I bet I use 10 minutes a month. | ||
| They charge for data now in the same way they used to charge for minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because minutes are like nothing. | ||
| Yeah, minutes are nothing anymore. | ||
| I still don't totally understand why data is expensive. | ||
| It's confusing to me. | ||
| Like, I get storing it would be expensive. | ||
| Boy, I don't understand it. | ||
| I mean, is it electricity being used? | ||
| I mean, what is being used? | ||
| There's bandwidth, right? | ||
| But what exactly is bandwidth? | ||
| Like, this is how stupid I am. | ||
| This is how stupid I am on something that I rely on on a daily basis. | ||
| I don't know jack shit about how the internet works. | ||
| Yeah, you're pretty much paying to use computers to transfer data to you. | ||
| So it's using computers. | ||
| It's way overpriced than it should be, definitely. | ||
| Well, I don't know about all that. | ||
| Because imagine if you had to reset it up yourself. | ||
| Hey, you know, the internet, they quit. | ||
| Everybody quit. | ||
| Time to make a new internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much would it cost? | ||
| How could you ever come up with 4G on your own? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, we need these fuckers. | ||
| I don't know how they're doing this. | ||
| It would be smoke signals for me. | ||
| That's the next step. | ||
| I'm like, there's no internet? | ||
| I guess I'm yelling and starting fires. | ||
| Yelling louder. | ||
| We should be so happy that there are people out there that are way smarter than us that figured that fucking thing out. | ||
| We should be so happy, you know? | ||
| We would have never figured out the internet. | ||
| There's some, like, that, just the evidence that the internet is real, that is one of the best evidences that there are people that are just so far beyond how fucking smart you think smart is. | ||
| It's like, remember when you were, like, five or six years old, you had, like, a lot of times you had, like, this one kid in the neighborhood that maybe was, like, a little bit bigger, a little bit stronger than the other kids, and when you would play with them on the field, like, you'd get, like, bummed out, like, you'd get knocked over and shit. | ||
| Remember what you thought that was? | ||
| That was a strong little kid? | ||
| But if you were there right now, you'd be like, get out of here, you little fuck. | ||
| Stop knocking into everybody. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I was more scared that he had freckles or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, you'd be like, get out of here, you fucking little weirdo. | ||
| Don't be mean to me. | ||
| I'm a grown-ass man. | ||
| But that's what I feel like technologically and just the mental capacity of a super genius in comparison to me. | ||
| I feel like if I'm that little kid and if I tried to figure out how the fuck they figured out the internet, I'd just be like, oh, my brain doesn't work that good. | ||
| I can't talk to you. | ||
| You're freaking me out, man. | ||
| You know, if you went into one of those dudes' offices and they had those crazy, like, goodwill hunting shit on the wall, and he's doing those equations that fucking nobody understands. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that they'll work on for years. | ||
| Even the professor didn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's like, how did you? | ||
| I didn't even know that. | ||
| Yeah, remember, like, in goodwill hunting, the fucking janitor fixes the problem? | ||
| They leave it open so the janitor can work on the problem? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What if he just erased it? | ||
| What if he's just crazy? | ||
| Why are you a janitor, bitch? | ||
| This is a stupid story. | ||
| You're a super genius janitor. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You're smarter than anybody. | ||
| You can figure out these equations and nobody else can and you're also beautiful. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| And charming. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| Anyway, rogan.ting.com. | ||
| Go. | ||
| Get a phone. | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
| They have all the best Android phones. | ||
| And like I said, this one I got that's waterproof is the Galaxy S5. That's going to make the drought worse. | ||
| The Galaxy S5 is going to make the drought worse? | ||
| Because you'll be texting in the shower for like two hours. | ||
| I didn't even think about that. | ||
| People are going to start not worrying about the pool and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, remember when they were dipping phones? | ||
| There was like a company that would dip them, like dip your iPhone, and then they would send it back to you and it would essentially be waterproof. | ||
| That's probably what they did with these. | ||
| They probably just dipped them. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But did that work? | ||
| Did that totally work? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Did that work? | ||
| Does anybody know if that worked? | ||
| I think for water resistance, it has to work. | ||
| Just dipping it has to work. | ||
| I mean, you could drop your phone in a toilet like all of us have, and it'd still work. | ||
| So the dipping it, I mean, even if it's 99% accurate, it's still probably going to work enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I bet the fine print is like 20 pages long. | ||
| It's got to be under four minutes and all these other things. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's probably got to be like under 30 meters or something. | ||
| They probably have like a, like what's like a good waterproof depth for a watch? | ||
| Because they have squirrely little rules. | ||
| So they'll say water-resistant up to 30 million. | ||
| Listen, bitch, is this waterproof or not? | ||
| I guess it's like water pressure. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| That shit's legit. | ||
| I mean, if it hurts your ears, it probably would fuck with your phone, too. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| Anyway, rogan.ting.com. | ||
| Go there and save $25 off a new Ting phone, you dirty savages. | ||
| And last but not least, we're brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| It's O-N-N-I-T. Onnit is what you would call a human optimization website. | ||
| We sell strength and conditioning equipment. | ||
| We sell... | ||
| Delicious snacks and foods like the warrior bar which is this somebody actually brought this up I think this is an important point somebody's brought this up to me on Twitter There's no added nitrates in In these Buffalo bars, but there's naturally occurring nitrates that occur in sea salt and in celery So that's something to consider. | ||
| And also, I don't know whether or not... | ||
| I was saying on this ad before, when I would read it before, one of the points is that it has no nitrates. | ||
| And I don't know exactly if nitrates are actually bad for you in natural form. | ||
| I don't know if they're bad for you in sea salt form, or bad for you in celery, or if it's just a... | ||
| An amount thing. | ||
| And I think that's a good question for Dr. Rhonda Patrick. | ||
| And she's going to be coming back. | ||
| We're exchanging emails. | ||
| So hopefully I can get an answer from her on this kind of stuff. | ||
| When it comes to health and anything that's controversial, diets and supplementation and things along those lines... | ||
| I can't stress enough. | ||
| If you've got any questions about that kind of shit, you've got to Google it, and you've got to read both sides. | ||
| It's not comfortable to do. | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| Say if you think that taking vitamin D is good for you, and you're like, well, let me go through it. | ||
| Oh, there's a bunch of papers that say vitamin D is good for you. | ||
| You've got to read vitamin D is bad for you. | ||
| Is vitamin D bad for you? | ||
| And read that, too. | ||
| Read whatever papers, whatever studies they have. | ||
| If you don't, you're kind of guessing. | ||
| Or if you know someone like Rhonda Patrick, you can ask her. | ||
| That's why she's awesome. | ||
| Isn't nitrous what make you have boners? | ||
| No, that's nitric oxide. | ||
| Boy, I'm glad you're not a fucking doctor. | ||
| You gave him some shit that makes beef jerky, dude. | ||
| No wonder his dick didn't get hard. | ||
| And is vitamin D bad for you? | ||
| No, vitamin D is excellent for you. | ||
| It's the thing that most people are deficient in, apparently. | ||
| According to numerous studies, they say that most people, like 70% of the population does not get enough vitamin D. I had my physical. | ||
| That's the only thing that was wrong with me. | ||
| Everybody do it. | ||
| It's super common. | ||
| We're not getting enough sun. | ||
| People are supposed to be on the sun all the time. | ||
| We're scared. | ||
| Everyone's scared of cancer. | ||
| I don't want to get the cancer. | ||
| And dairy too, right? | ||
| You get it a lot from dairy. | ||
| I don't want to get the cancer. | ||
| Doesn't dairy give you cancer? | ||
| No, no, vitamin D. Yes, you get it from milk. | ||
| I'm probably very deficient. | ||
| I'm lactose intolerant. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm getting there. | ||
| You should get your blood work done, man. | ||
| Get your shit checked out. | ||
| If anybody's ever interested in really getting healthy and fit, getting your diet checked out, getting your blood work done, finding out where your nutritional levels are, eat like you normally would eat. | ||
| Don't try to trick them. | ||
| Eat like you would normally. | ||
| Yeah, I'm all about kale, bro. | ||
| I'm all about organic celery. | ||
| But get your, you know, go to a reputable place and get your blood work done. | ||
| Find out where your nutrients are lacking. | ||
| It's really important. | ||
| A lot of times you think you have a good diet and you're just being naive. | ||
| You start looking at your diet and you go, oh, I eat a lot of shit. | ||
| I've never thought I had a good diet. | ||
| Well, you're one up on the delusional, folks. | ||
| I'll have one for four days and I go, now I deserve to eat a whole pie or something terrible. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Gelato in bed. | ||
| So the Warrior Bars, what we were talking about, so take that into consideration, but they do have, they're 140 calories, 4 grams of fat in a 2-ounce serving with 14 grams of protein, which is a lot. | ||
| You know, that's really healthy. | ||
| And it's just natural buffalo with cranberries. | ||
| And it's this ancient recipe that Lakota people, the Lakota Native Americans, used to preserve their buffalo with. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It tastes good. | ||
| And it's really guilt-free. | ||
| As far as, like, nitrates and celery and salt, it's all a very good question. | ||
| I'm going to have to look into that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It has celery juice in it. | ||
| I would say, don't be a pussy. | ||
| Don't worry about celery and salt. | ||
| That's just me. | ||
| You're worried about celery juice. | ||
| Fucking sea salt and celery. | ||
| If those are the two things that are going to take you out in this game, how weak is your defense, son? | ||
| How weak? | ||
| How weak? | ||
| We sell a lot of shit on it that we find. | ||
| You can find other places, but what we try to do is just get the best versions of it available. | ||
| Like hemp force protein powder is an important one when it comes to that. | ||
| You can get hemp protein from other places, but a lot of times it's super gritty. | ||
| It's not that easy to digest. | ||
| It's just a different texture. | ||
| It feels different when you drink it. | ||
| It's just because it's not the highest quality. | ||
| The stuff that we buy costs more money, but it's higher in protein, and it's easy to digest. | ||
| It's super powdery. | ||
| It's really interesting, the difference between the hemp forest protein powder, and I've used some powders from some other companies that use the cheaper shit. | ||
| It's just more coarse, more fiber in it, and it's like you taste it in your mouth when you're drinking grit. | ||
| But as far as your body's ability to digest it, I think it's the easiest form of protein to digest. | ||
| My body has zero problems. | ||
| I can drink a hemp force protein shake with coconut water and work out in like an hour. | ||
| There's nothing else I can eat where I can work out in an hour and I can be comfortable about it. | ||
| The stuff just digests so easily. | ||
| I love whey. | ||
| I love those muscle milks. | ||
| Those are fucking delicious. | ||
| Those taste good. | ||
| But my body does not react that well to that stuff. | ||
| What was the difference you noticed between muscle milk and the hemp, then? | ||
| No farts! | ||
| Let's be real, Nick Youssef. | ||
| Let's get crazy. | ||
| I would fart like crazy when I would drink the whey protein. | ||
| Remember Tate's farts? | ||
| They're still legendary. | ||
| It's all whey protein. | ||
| It's all whey protein, man. | ||
| But I like it. | ||
| I like whey protein. | ||
| I'm not saying it's bad, but as far as digestibility, hemp force is my favorite shit of all time. | ||
| Whether I was selling it or not, I would tell you that. | ||
| It's fucking fantastic. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and you can save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| And what are the comedy dates you got coming up, Brian? | ||
| This weekend we're going to be in Tampa, Florida. | ||
| Me and Sam Tripoli. | ||
| Friday it's Tampa. | ||
| Saturday it's Jacksonville. | ||
| And then Sunday is Orlando. | ||
| And you can go to deathsquad.tv for tickets. | ||
| Powerful Florida. | ||
| Prepare yourself. | ||
| Bring penicillin, son. | ||
| It's Florida. | ||
| That's like up higher, right? | ||
| Those are okay. | ||
| They're the craziest people. | ||
| The craziest are the ones up high. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Orlando's in the middle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Orlando's a good spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| But South Florida's fun too, man. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| I enjoy doing shows down there. | ||
| People are crazy. | ||
| It's a totally different world. | ||
| It's a completely different world than the rest of America. | ||
| It really is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| South Florida's wild. | ||
| In all the bad ways, like Florida Man, you follow that Florida Man Twitter account? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| I mean, there's just no denying. | ||
| I mean, I would like to have someone like Sam Harris, some really rational guy, break down why Florida actually has no more crime. | ||
| It's just that, for whatever reason, people focus on Florida. | ||
| But I don't know if that's entirely accurate. | ||
| The sheer numbers of idiocy that you get, just the numbers of morons that come out of Florida, it's almost hard to believe. | ||
| I've watched almost every single episode of Cops, and Florida is always the best episodes. | ||
| That's a great show, by the way. | ||
| They re-edited all the old episodes of Cops. | ||
| And made them HD and edited them real fast and quick now. | ||
| It's called Cops Reloaded. | ||
| Oh, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| I wonder how much they could do just on Florida. | ||
| Because they picked out from every episode. | ||
| You could just have cameras running 24 hours a day and hire some editors. | ||
| Just keep the cameras on. | ||
| You would never go wrong. | ||
| Wacky shit happens in Florida. | ||
| If you were a vice cop in Miami and you had a camera on your car, We don't need to do commercials anymore. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| We're here. | ||
| We don't need the music. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| But if you were a vice cop and you were in Miami and they just put a camera in your head, how much wacky shit would you see every year? | ||
| It would probably be madness. | ||
| Oh, I mean, it would be every other day. | ||
| There'd be something amazing. | ||
| Something crazy. | ||
| Like, everyone should just have a GoPro. | ||
| On their head and just be traveling around. | ||
| Well, they kind of do now in a lot of states. | ||
| They said that's lowered the instances of police harassment or police brutality substantially. | ||
| And I know, I believe Los Angeles has some sort of program, at least on some of the officers. | ||
| Where they put these cameras on them. | ||
| You know, we're starting to see so much video of cops beating people up, man. | ||
| It's really disturbing. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's so disturbing. | ||
| Like, that one cop that beat that lady up on the side of the freeway. | ||
| You've seen that one? | ||
| Yeah, that is fucked up. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| She might have been mentally challenged and she was acting like... | ||
| She was walking on the freeway. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what her deal was. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But if that is the only way that he can control her, he shouldn't be a cop. | ||
| You can't just fucking waylay somebody in the face over and over again while you're holding onto their neck on the side of the highway. | ||
| You just can't do that. | ||
| That's not defensive. | ||
| You're not saving them from themselves. | ||
| You're not saving anybody from them. | ||
| You're assaulting them. | ||
| You should be able to contain that woman. | ||
| That woman wasn't striking him at all. | ||
| If you had any, you know, knowledge of jujitsu whatsoever, you would just contain her. | ||
| It would be really easy to do. | ||
| I mean, you might get hit with some clawing at you and shit, but you could hold her in place, and nobody has to get hurt. | ||
| If you're a cop, it's not like that woman was attacking him. | ||
| If that woman was attacking him, say if that woman had a bat or a knife or something like that, she's coming at him and he took her down and punched her in the face, I'm all for that. | ||
| That might as well be an animal. | ||
| A person that's attacking you with a weapon might as well be an animal. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| Would you kick a dog that tried to bite you? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| A person with a knife that's coming at you, it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, they're getting punched in their fucking face. | ||
| For real. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Otherwise, you're a dead man, Brian! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is running an option? | ||
| Because I'd like to just run away. | ||
| Yeah, if you can run faster, definitely do it. | ||
| Okay, cool, I'll do that. | ||
| If you can go side to side, if you've got a good juke. | ||
| But at the end of the day, if you're a cop, you can't just beat somebody up like that. | ||
| You just can't do that. | ||
| That lady's not hitting you. | ||
| She wouldn't listen? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| There's no way she could have been doing anything That justified getting the fuck beat out of her like that. | ||
| Isn't there some police force that's now putting GoPros on all the cops? | ||
| Their whole force, you have to have a GoPro camera on your person now. | ||
| We should probably Google this because we keep saying it. | ||
| I just heard it the other day. | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
| That makes so much more sense. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What it should be is something that broadcasts. | ||
| Yeah, that would be cool. | ||
| That would be the best cops, by the way, ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| You go, hmm, I want to see what's going on in my hometown, cops. | ||
| You could just stream it in real life. | ||
| What's Compton really like? | ||
| Cops use GoPros to film traffic stop. | ||
| Oh, this is different. | ||
| I think it was Florida, actually, now that I think about it, that was doing it. | ||
| Florida, police camera. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| A cop uses a GoPro to film a traffic stop of a lieutenant cop. | ||
| A Miami police officer, he made a routine traffic stop. | ||
| He discovered that it's a man of superior rank, like a cop that's superior rank to him. | ||
| They start fighting, and he got suspended. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| And the lieutenant is merely reassigned. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Yeah, he filmed the whole thing, too, and... | ||
| There's like a hierarchy like that's like a weird thing the rank thing for police officers like that's some military shit like the whole rank thing like that he had to like you know give in to a superior officer like that's what the issue is a superior rank yeah how weird is that like a guy's a general yeah like we're not at war yeah that person ran a red light like let's calm down I mean, | ||
| I guess cops should be able to get better positions as they get better at their job, and they should get more prestige as they get more experience and knowledge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Officer Realta California now required to wear video cameras while on duty. | ||
| See, it's right in the middle, and so it's just like a full-on GoPro that just records every time. | ||
| One year, the use of force have dropped 60%. | ||
| Complaints have dropped 88%. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's accountability, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all about accountability. | ||
| That's exactly what that is, you know? | ||
| It's not that... | ||
| Being a cop is a tricky decision. | ||
| To be the guy who decides how things get handled in times of stress, and that's your job. | ||
| You do that every day. | ||
| You come in, people are screaming, wives and husbands are... | ||
| You're worried you're going to get shot. | ||
| Like, they're always worried they're going to get shot. | ||
| Like, domestic violence cases especially. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You don't have anything to do with these crazy people. | ||
| But the neighbors' lights are all on. | ||
| It's 5 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| People are screaming. | ||
| They're throwing shit. | ||
| And, you know, you hear the guy say, I'm going to fucking kill you. | ||
| And you're outside, and you're a cop. | ||
| You're like, Jesus Christ, here we go. | ||
| Like, that's your job. | ||
| That's a crazy job. | ||
| It's hard for anybody, I think, to expect that people that go through that job on a daily basis are perfect, or that they should be held to the same standards as everybody else, as far as their ability to tolerate bullshit. | ||
| Because they see too much. | ||
| That's a crazy job. | ||
| It's a crazy job. | ||
| When people look at police brutality, you've got to look at the cops, too. | ||
| What are these guys being subjected to? | ||
| It's not just that these cops... | ||
| Are lashing out and attacking people? | ||
| It's like, what's making them ramp up their violence? | ||
| Are they just inherently violent? | ||
| That's a real convenient way to look at it, to just decide they're just inherently violent. | ||
| And that they're assholes and bullies, and that's why they became cops in the first place. | ||
| And that might be correct for some, but you also gotta take into consideration what they're seeing on a daily basis. | ||
| Their fucking job is It's to deal with the worst situations that people have to see every day. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Bullets, car accidents, motorcycle wreck, violence, murder, suicide. | ||
| Yeah, the worst parts of humanity all day long. | ||
| The worst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Liars, liars, thieves, rapists. | |
| All day. | ||
| It's got to be overwhelming. | ||
| And then for them to be, you know, in a situation with a person and the person is like, I don't have to listen to you. | ||
| Oh, you don't, you fucking bitch. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| It's like they're so wound up. | ||
| They're always at like eight, you know? | ||
| If you live in that world and you're constantly like, Dodging this and evading that and capturing this guy and pulling that guy off the street. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| That's why it surprises me when you see cops that are so young. | ||
| When there's a 21-year-old, 22-year-old cop, and you're like, that guy's going to be able to handle all this stress? | ||
| Like the domestic violence thing? | ||
| He'd show up to a house, husband and wife are arguing, and it's like, that kid's probably had sex twice. | ||
| And he's supposed to know what to do during a... | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if they have people that they specifically assign to those kind of cases that are good at that shit. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| That's like an Al Pacino role in Heat. | ||
| Norman, can I talk to you? | ||
| Get the guy to the window and put the gun down, Norman. | ||
| There's a lot of cops here. | ||
| You know, it'd be like the guy who, like, slowly talks you off the ledge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet in real life cop world, though, it's like, what is it? | ||
| Is it a murder? | ||
| There's no specialists. | ||
| Like, dude, I don't even do robbery. | ||
| I'm not doing robbery. | ||
| I'm over here. | ||
| I'm doing violent crime. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nothing petty. | ||
| Like, no, they're cops. | ||
| They show up where there's, you know, there's, like, vice departments, right? | ||
| And they have, like, different departments. | ||
| But for the most part, they all deal with bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, who's closer to the crime? | ||
| Just get there and deal with it. | ||
| Deal with nonsense all day. | ||
| Deal with the worst of us. | ||
| And every time they talk to people, the people are lying. | ||
| Like, most of the time, most of the time, people are talking to cops, they're lying. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think I've ever talked to a cop when it hasn't been like, I'm on the end of getting in trouble, and I'm like, how do I get out of this? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| I've never just been like, hey officer, nice to see you today. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lot of people's interaction with cops on the street, man. | ||
| That's a lot of people's, if you think about it, remember that video, that kid was taking a video, the woman was beating him up, and she was screaming at him, and he was like, stop hitting me, please stop, and that's all he was doing. | ||
| And she was saying that she was going to say that he sexually assaulted her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember the other one that we showed that the old women stealing the guy's beach stuff? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The guys on Reddit found her name and her Facebook and everyone started going to her page. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| And it's ridiculous because it looks like she's just a normal woman that just happened to be stealing shit. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| That's a weird thing about people's looks. | ||
| There's some sweetie pie looking people that are killers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ted Bundy. | ||
| Yeah, perfect example. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've met, like, there's a lot of MMA guys like that, too. | ||
| Like, you would never know. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu guys. | ||
| There's a lot of Jiu-Jitsu guys. | ||
| Like, you would never know. | ||
| You look at them, they just look like normal dudes. | ||
| And they would kill people. | ||
| It's just like there's something about their head. | ||
| It's not just their physical abilities, it's like their head. | ||
| They have like a little something extra, a little piece of... | ||
| But they look like, you know, Opie, you know? | ||
| They look like an all-American boy. | ||
| They look like a total normal, sweet-faced fella, you know? | ||
| Meanwhile, they're just stone-cold killers. | ||
| Some old lady could be a dirty murderer. | ||
| You know, you're looking at her on the beach, and she's like someone's Grammy. | ||
| Like, where's your grandparents? | ||
| Oh, they're over there by that tent. | ||
| Oh, hi, Grammy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi! | |
| That's her. | ||
| Meanwhile, she's a dirty, stinky thief. | ||
| Stealing someone's tent, packing it up. | ||
| And then she's done it before, obviously, because when that guy came up to her, she wasn't surprised. | ||
| She was playing it off. | ||
| Like, well, this is ours. | ||
| I'm pretty sure this is ours. | ||
| Like, this is our stuff. | ||
| It was a complicated tent. | ||
| They got like fucking posts and shit and they're folding everything up and putting it in bags and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This old dirty broads just stealing stuff. | |
| She probably has gotten away with that for the last 15 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After you hit a certain age, no one suspects you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That innocent old person's not going to steal anything. | ||
| Well, people become kleptos, and they don't even know why. | ||
| Like, I had a girl that I was dating when I was in high school that had a bit of an issue at one point in time, and she was a very good person. | ||
| She wasn't a bad person at all. | ||
| She's not like a bad kid from a bad home, but she wanted something and she didn't have the money and she just took it, you know, and it was this thing where like she did it a couple of times and she got in trouble for it. | ||
| She didn't get arrested, but she got caught. | ||
| She didn't give the stuff back. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| It wasn't anything monumental, but it was enough where she was trying to understand why she was doing this. | ||
| I almost can't stop. | ||
| I go in the store, and there's something I want, and I know no one's looking, and I figure out a way to get it. | ||
| And I'm like, that's crazy. | ||
| Like, that's stealing. | ||
| But it was like, when they say kleptomania, like, for some folks, it really is an issue. | ||
| Like, they really can get obsessed with this idea of stealing something, and they can't help it. | ||
| Joey Diaz used to do it allegedly all the time. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| When we were at the airport, we'd just be like... | ||
| He would just be stuffing hamburgers in his pockets, and you're just like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| He's like, don't worry about this, Brian! | ||
| Or he would just go and get to one of those little stands where they have drinks and popcorn and stuff, and he's just putting stuff in his pockets right in the open. | ||
| Is it more about the thrill? | ||
| It's not even like, oh, I need this thing? | ||
| Is it like the adrenaline? | ||
| Can I get away with it? | ||
| Let's say this about Joey. | ||
| That was a long time ago. | ||
| He's a different guy now. | ||
| He doesn't do that at all anymore. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The girl was 17 at the time. | ||
| And like I said, she's not a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| She's very nice. | ||
| She's very smart, too. | ||
| She just had a thing. | ||
| And the thing was she wanted to steal shit. | ||
| And I don't think, you know, it could be a combination. | ||
| First of all, when you're 17, you're essentially insane. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, you really are not sure what's going on. | ||
| For the last couple years, your body's been overwhelmed with hormones. | ||
| And you're like, why do I feel so different than I did just two or three years ago? | ||
| And you're obsessed with girls, right? | ||
| And girls are obsessed with boys. | ||
| And so you just start fooling around, having sex, and it becomes like your whole life. | ||
| It becomes obsessive when you're young. | ||
| And you're about to become an adult. | ||
| And you're going to have to take care of yourself. | ||
| And you're like, what?! | ||
| Nobody taught me shit! | ||
| I just want to fuck all day. | ||
| I'm fucked. | ||
| I'm 17. I'm almost 18. Then I got to fend for myself, you know, and then graduation's out and you take your deep breath and you try to figure it out. | ||
| Like, wow, what next? | ||
| They're all crazy. | ||
| Everyone that age is crazy. | ||
| So some of them steal clothes and some of them sniff paint and some of them, you know, whatever. | ||
| Become cops that beat people. | ||
| Yeah, it's a little harder than you can't be more than 17. How old do you have to be to be a cop? | ||
| I think 18. It should be 40. If you can join the military at 18, you'd think you'd be... | ||
| It should be 40. It should be 40-year-old dudes that are yoked. | ||
| They're like hiring in Burbank cops right now. | ||
| There's signs everywhere that says, I'm now hiring. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| It's probably a tough job. | ||
| It's probably tough to get people to do. | ||
| Because, you know, I don't think most of us have the perspective to understand what they have to go through. | ||
| So I think a lot of people also treat cops with disdain. | ||
| It's kind of cool to treat cops with disdain. | ||
| But that's all well and good, but if the shit hit the fan, you'd be fucking happy there were cops. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Yeah, remember that North Hollywood shootout? | ||
| Remember that shit? | ||
| Oh yeah, with the fully automatic weapons? | ||
| Do you remember that, Brian? | ||
| Oh yeah, it was like a video game. | ||
| Dude, we were on news radio. | ||
| It was on the set of news radio. | ||
| And I forget who told us it was happening, but we all gathered up in this break room to watch this. | ||
| And we were watching this on the TV. Someone's office or something. | ||
| I don't remember where we were watching it. | ||
| But we were like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
| Like, we were all holding our hands on our heads like, what are we looking at? | ||
| This dude's armed to the tits. | ||
| He's got... | ||
| Are you showing it? | ||
| Pull it up on the screen so we can see it too. | ||
| This dude is armed to the tits. | ||
| He's got bulletproof everything on. | ||
| They got a van stuffed with bullets and ammo and rifles and shit. | ||
| And he's just fucking cops up. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| This is a different guy, Brian, isn't it? | ||
| The North Hollywood shootout is what you want. | ||
| Is this it? | ||
| Yeah, this is North Hollywood shootout. | ||
| Oh, this is the end. | ||
| That's where they just shot him. | ||
| This is the end. | ||
| There were some videos before of him fully armed up, giant machine guns and shit shooting at cops, and these cops had pistols. | ||
| Their bullets were bouncing off of them. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the cops had standard... | ||
| You know, officer-issued pistols, and this fucking guy had, like, the craziest rifles money can buy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Machine guns and shit, and just these two dudes held all these cops at bay. | ||
| This is the same one where they were trying to rob a bank, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That's that one, yeah. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But see, if it wasn't for cops, then what? | ||
| Those guys do that again next week, and they do it again the week after, and then who stops them? | ||
| Who stops them? | ||
| Yeah, we would not be able to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| They'd sort of go in house to house. | ||
| Like, I have an iPhone. | ||
| Someone I can throw at you or something? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| If someone's that crazy that they're willing to do something like that, who knows where that guy's limits are? | ||
| That guy could easily just go door to door and gun people down. | ||
| And how many friends he has that are willing? | ||
| Imagine if it was a hundred of those guys out in the street. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's what you've got to really worry about. | ||
| What you've got to really worry about is people that don't think you need a military or don't think you need law enforcement, you're Really kind of underestimating the evil that human beings are capable of. | ||
| We've just been in a nice place here in America for a few hundred years. | ||
| Pretty sweet as far as world history goes. | ||
| Like it's invading violence. | ||
| Pretty sweet. | ||
| Like one of the best spots ever. | ||
| Like a solid 200 plus years of nobody coming over here and fucking us up. | ||
| Like a few little baby attacks, but nothing in comparison to anything that any other empire had to go through over like, you know, the course of its reign. | ||
| If you think about how many human beings, how many different countries there are in this country, and then that we have military bases in like 100 plus of those countries, those numbers are crazy. | ||
| Just stopping and thinking about how many of us there are is nuts. | ||
| But if there wasn't a military and some crazy fucks like those North Hollywood guys gathered up together and decided to start taking shit over, what would you do? | ||
| People are capable of that. | ||
| It's a very unfortunate, but it's a realistic aspect. | ||
| It's a realistic subject. | ||
| It needs to be breached. | ||
| It's very unfortunate that people are capable of things like that, but they are. | ||
| And to not plan on it and to not be prepared in case it happens... | ||
| There's a lot of civilizations that don't exist anymore because of that. | ||
| Yeah, you get used to the safety you have. | ||
| Then you go to a third world country and you're like, oh, things aren't as together over there. | ||
| And there's groups of people who are fighting other groups. | ||
| That could never happen here. | ||
| Unless they got in a boat. | ||
| Unless they got over here. | ||
| See, anything can happen here once it happens here. | ||
| How quickly would they be able to tighten it down? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would hope quickly. | ||
| I would hope quickly. | ||
| But when people look at things like... | ||
| When you look at things like the bad aspects of the military or the bad aspects of war... | ||
| And the bad aspects of police enforcement, law enforcement, the bad aspects of people being horrible and police brutality in those situations. | ||
| I think people are tending to go in only one direction with the idea. | ||
| Like, they're only looking at the violence that these cops are doing to civilians. | ||
| They're not looking at, like, what are we asking these people to do? | ||
| What are we asking these normal people to do for $40,000 a year? | ||
| And how much of an assurance do we have that these people are of sound character, where they can get through that gig? | ||
| Yeah, I know there's some screening processes, but how thorough is it really? | ||
| And how much do we really know about the impact of day-to-day violence, day-to-day bullshit that these people have to deal with? | ||
| It sounds like the craziest job ever. | ||
| Imagine if you had to be a vice cop? | ||
| No. | ||
| But I would think that I would want that GoPro on me at all times. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think that would... | ||
| I think that's the most important thing for cops nowadays. | ||
| I think they need that. | ||
| I think that would be a perfect way to police the police and help the cops at the same time. | ||
| Imagine starting in a bad neighborhood, too. | ||
| I'd want to start in the suburbs. | ||
| I'd want to go from Burbank to Watts. | ||
| I'm like, just let me do a couple traffic stops before I'm involved in a shootout. | ||
| There was a guy that I used to do taekwondo with that he got reassigned. | ||
| He wanted to get reassigned to a more urban area. | ||
| And I go, why do you want to do that? | ||
| It's like, there's more action. | ||
| I was like, more action? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would want to start off like small town, like where there's two cops for the whole city, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, this dude wanted to be where the shit was going down. | ||
| He genuinely enjoyed it. | ||
| He was an odd duck. | ||
| He was like this weird sort of hard ass cop guy who liked to fight. | ||
| But he was a really nice guy. | ||
| Like as a cop, he was really nice. | ||
| Did he have, like, a good sense for justice? | ||
| He was, like, a power guy? | ||
| No, he was weird. | ||
| He was a sweet guy, but it seemed like he would, like, look forward to someone doing something that he could correct him on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| Like, if you didn't do anything wrong, he was, like, a super nice guy. | ||
| But it was weird being friends with this dude while I was, like, a young teenager. | ||
| Because I always, like, thought of cops. | ||
| Like, oh, shit, I'm going to get arrested. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Just think of all the people that I knew that were dirtbags. | ||
| Like, oh, I've got to get out of here. | ||
| There's a cop. | ||
| You know, but he was older than me, but it was a weird sort of a relationship. | ||
| Because he was older than me, but I was better at martial arts than him. | ||
| So I'd beat his ass. | ||
| But he was a cop. | ||
| And then he'd arrest you. | ||
| Well, he didn't arrest me. | ||
| But, you know, I would even take it easy on him. | ||
| Sometimes sparring. | ||
| Because he was a cop. | ||
| Because I would just think, like, I do not want this dude, like, developing a grudge, you know? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because people could develop a grudge, you know? | ||
| And especially, like, sparring sessions. | ||
| There's, like, sparring sessions for striking and there's sparring sessions for grappling. | ||
| Sparring sessions for grappling are way safer. | ||
| So you can go really, really go at it hard. | ||
| But sparring sessions for striking... | ||
| They're really dangerous because people get knocked out all the time. | ||
| So there's like a certain amount of respect that you have to give each other and you have to not hit each other that hard. | ||
| And some guys just don't play by that. | ||
| Some guys just, it all goes out the window and they start winging shots at you and next thing you know you're in a melee. | ||
| Like it happens all the time where a sparring session turns into an all-out fight. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| So you don't want to do that with a cop. | ||
| Especially a cop that knows how to fight pretty good, too. | ||
| See the John Jones thing? | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy, man. | ||
| John Jones and Daniel Cormier got in this huge scrap at a press conference. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| John Jones got in Daniel Cormier's face, put his forehead on Daniel Cormier's forehead, and Daniel Cormier grabbed John Jones by the neck and pushed him away, and John dropped his belt, and then it was just bodies colliding. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And... | ||
| John immediately, I guess, you know, it's a wild scramble, but John was on top. | ||
| And John was like, I took you down so quick, within seven seconds you were on your back. | ||
| And you're like, oh no, like the shit talking just escalated to a totally different level. | ||
| And John Jones put out a video that said, you suck, you're so weak. | ||
| When I got a hold of you, you felt so weak. | ||
| And then he deleted the video, which is really interesting. | ||
| See, this is what happened. | ||
| Poor guy in the middle. | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| This is just a colliding pile of bodies. | ||
| Dan is on a vacation. | ||
| He wasn't even there. | ||
| Yeah, this can't happen. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| This is real bad for the sport. | ||
| It's real bad. | ||
| It's real bad for public perception. | ||
| It's a weapon to be used against MMA. You know, it's unfortunate. | ||
| What you gotta have, everybody should have, is... | ||
| A no-contact policy. | ||
| Unless guys agree to hug, you know, you agree to shake hands and hug, you should have a no-contact policy. | ||
| And anybody who clearly violates that no-contact policy gets fined. | ||
| You know, some guys can deal with it, that getting in each other's face, but when you have a situation like this, You know, you gotta have to have a no-contact policy with those guys. | ||
| Yeah, cause like the weigh-ins, they're always doing the forehead stuff and getting it in people's face. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think it's ridiculous. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| And some of it's gamesmanship, but it's just so bad for the image of the sport. | ||
| Is that starting to happen more often? | ||
| No, it's pretty rare. | ||
| It's pretty rare, but that's a big high-profile fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean like Ronda, Rousey, Amish Tate, they got head to head in each of those faces and it was pretty hot. | ||
| Yeah, it's sexy. | ||
| I saw where you were looking. | ||
| But they were professional about it. | ||
| They didn't do anything about it. | ||
| These guys were not professional. | ||
| It was like immediate. | ||
| Yeah, you can't do that. | ||
| You can't grab each other and fucking slap. | ||
| And if you say, hey, I don't want to headbutt you, man. | ||
| But nobody wants to give ground. | ||
| They don't want anybody getting any psychological advantage. | ||
| And so they have to show each other, like, I'll fucking fight you right here, bitch. | ||
| And then, you know, that's when shit like this happens. | ||
| It's like they just have to treat it... | ||
| The importance of that not happening is huge. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| There's such a negative connotation attached to what that is. | ||
| That's just violence. | ||
| The difference between that kind of violence and the violence of a sport is the violence of a sport is everyone's agreeing to this scenario. | ||
| You're agreeing to train for X amount of weeks. | ||
| You're going to fight for X amount of rounds. | ||
| You're going to fight this guy. | ||
| He weighs what you weigh. | ||
| Everybody prepares. | ||
| You meet at this day and you compete. | ||
| And it's a very dangerous form of competition, and yes, it is fighting as a competition, but it's not violence the same way that that is. | ||
| That's a street fight. | ||
| That's a world champion mixed martial arts fighter and an Olympic wrestler, and they're street fighting. | ||
| That's bad for everybody. | ||
| That's bad for wrestling. | ||
| That's bad for MMA. That's bad for sports. | ||
| It's fun for people to watch, you know? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, part of me, I have two ways of looking at it. | ||
| Part of me is like, that's bad for the sport, but part of me is like, how do I feel about it, though? | ||
| Does it bum me out? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it doesn't make me upset. | ||
| I'm not upset. | ||
| I'm looking forward to watching this fight even more now. | ||
| Would I have liked it to not happen? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I wish that they were very professional about this. | ||
| They don't need to do that. | ||
| That fight's going to be amazing no matter what happens. | ||
| But, since it did happen, and I got to see it, I'm like, whoa! | ||
| I'm not going to pretend that that's not fun. | ||
| I'm not going to pretend that that didn't make everybody way more excited about that fight, because it fucking for sure did. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| It's not good to do. | ||
| But... | ||
| It was fun to watch. | ||
| And more people are going to be excited about the fight. | ||
| I mean, that's the Catch-22. | ||
| There's no real black or white about this. | ||
| You know, as a representative of the sport, I absolutely wish it didn't happen. | ||
| As a person who cares a lot about the future of the sport and... | ||
| The public's perception, which I think is already a little skewed. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people that aren't fans that like to look at the people that fight in MMA as just barbarians. | ||
| But there are a lot of nice guys that fight in the UFC. And they're some of the nicest athletes you'll ever meet. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| So, part of me gets bummed out when I see shit like that. | ||
| But part of me is like, look, they're going to fight eventually anyway. | ||
| So they fought a little here. | ||
| They're just being passionate. | ||
| Just get a little taste. | ||
| Get a little taste. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's going to be a wild-ass fight, though. | ||
| When is that fight? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I think it's September 27th in Vegas. | ||
| Is that it, or is it the weekend of the 27th? | ||
| Either way, it's on Donkey Kong, son. | ||
| It's going to be exciting. | ||
| But it's unfortunate, man. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| So as far as now, they didn't get in any trouble? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, Dana's on vacation. | ||
| I mean, I read that they were going to get in trouble. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's something in that contract, you know, that you can't do that shit. | ||
| Well, there's a thing that says there will be consequences. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the statement, the official statement. | ||
| There will be consequences. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's almost scarier than saying what's going to happen. | ||
| We will contact you. | ||
| It's very vampire-like. | ||
| It will be consequences to your actions. | ||
| You don't get any of the headphones to wear during the fights. | ||
| Have you been watching The Strain? | ||
| You been watching The Strain? | ||
| The Guillermo del Toro show on FX? It's fucking great, man. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No, I've been waiting until at least five or six air. | ||
| Yeah, there's four out now. | ||
| This is the fourth one. | ||
| Just aired on Sunday. | ||
| It's fucking fun. | ||
| Because the billboard with the thing going into the eye, I was like, I'm in. | ||
| I don't even know what this is, but I'm absolutely doing this. | ||
| I read the book, and I don't remember the worms from the book. | ||
| Maybe I just don't remember. | ||
| Maybe I have to go back and read it. | ||
| Again, I didn't remember that part, but I remember the book being really entertaining for like three-quarters of the way through. | ||
| Like really fun in the beginning, too. | ||
| It's a good story. | ||
| It's an interesting story. | ||
| And they're doing a great job with the miniseries. | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| It's like really ropes you in. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I need to try. | ||
| I just gave up on the leftovers. | ||
| Dude, I love horror movies and shows. | ||
| We need more of that shit. | ||
| More zombie shit. | ||
| More vampire shit. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Horror movies have taken a big dive. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If you go back to the 1950s, look at those black and white movies that were super popular back then. | ||
| There were so many horror movies, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The Creature from the Black Lagoon. | ||
| Remember those? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good one. | |
| But now, like, now the demand is so much more for, like, there to be a real story instead of, like, this monster attacks a village and then a hot girl gets her clothes ripped off and you see her tits. | ||
| You're like, that was an amazing film! | ||
| Dude, we should do a mystery science theater type thing where we watch Creature from the Black Lagoon. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| First of all, it's so obvious they're in a swimming pool. | ||
| I mean, it's not a fucking lagoon at all. | ||
| It's like some backlot swimming pool. | ||
| Why is there cement there? | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| The creature was pretty dope for the time. | ||
| It was just a really cool scuba diving outfit, essentially. | ||
| And this weird, freaky, lizard-like scuba diving outfit, they put this guy in, and he would swim in the swimming pool and capture the group. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| It's so bad. | ||
| It's so bad that it's awesome. | ||
| Like, it's so bad. | ||
| It's exciting when you watch it. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Out of the monk and mystery of a hundred million years ago, up from the depths of unknown waters, comes a creature to confound science. | |
| And terrorize the world! | ||
| This is awesome! | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| It just grabbed this guy by the head. | ||
| It was the worst acting job anybody's ever done, ever. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Shocking! | ||
| Perfected three-dimensional. | ||
| Ooh, it's 3D! I didn't even know it was 3D! Yeah, it was one of those where you got your glasses in the Sunday paper and they would play it on the TV. Remember that? | ||
| Wow, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| I do remember that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even the music. | |
| Starring Richard Carlson, friendly adventuring underwater in the depths of the mighty Amazon. | ||
| Lovely Julia Adams, her beauty allure even to the man-beast from the dawn of time. | ||
| With Richard Denning, whose scientific passion turned to the fury of revenge. | ||
| You'll see the most amazing underwater photography that the screen has ever known. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| This is incredible! | ||
| Look out! | ||
| That's so obvious! | ||
| That's a pool! | ||
| There's not a ripple in that water! | ||
| Look at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four men dead so far. | |
| We're staying until we get it. | ||
| Or until somebody else gets killed. | ||
| He just dives in the water with her. | ||
| Deep. | ||
| Into the waters of his domain. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| He's just going to drown this chick. | ||
| I know. | ||
| She's dead already. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| Is he making out with her? | ||
| How does he keep her from drowning? | ||
| Great cave. | ||
| Oh, does she have a scuba outfit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing in three dimension. | |
| Creature from the Black Lagoon. | ||
| They should do a remake of this one. | ||
| Some monster in a creek grabs all these women and rapes them. | ||
| Yeah, you could come up with a better story, right? | ||
| You could just say it was some genetic experiment that escaped from some dude who was really rich in Florida from cocaine. | ||
| He hired a bunch of scientists to try to make lizard soldiers. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That could totally be a story. | ||
| They could do that. | ||
| Creature from the black... | ||
| And it'd be in Miami. | ||
| Fucking people up in Miami. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Because you need the hot girls to kill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're always swimming around. | ||
| Well, it needs at least them to run. | ||
| You don't have to kill them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In very slow motion. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they run, the titties are bouncing while they're being chased by a lizard man. | ||
| That's what you could count on with all those Jason movies, where you're like, in the first scene, he's going to be walking through some camp, and there's going to be a bunch of girls going like, nothing's going to happen. | ||
| Let's just take off all our clothes. | ||
| It's very hot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nipple to nipple. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's make out for warmth. | ||
| Yeah, that genre has kind of... | ||
| That genre has kind of gone away a bit, right? | ||
| Has it? | ||
| I mean, those were big movies. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| Halloween. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Friday the 13th. | ||
| All those movies. | ||
| Those were big movies, man. | ||
| Like, you get fired up. | ||
| Friday the 13th. | ||
| Freddy Krueger. | ||
| Even when they were bad, they were good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you could ensure that a couple girls would be having a pillow fight, and a tit would pop out, and then an axe murderer shows up, Yeah. | ||
| You're talking about that for two months with your friends if you're a teenager. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially if it's like Jason because he's undead or whatever he is. | ||
| Nobody knows what he is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was killed and then came back somehow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They fucking run him over. | ||
| They shoot him. | ||
| He rises and somehow or another finds a way to get you. | ||
| And it didn't even matter back then. | ||
| Like, well, we have to explain to the viewers how he came back. | ||
| They're like, well, that's what those four pairs of tits are for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because immediately they'll forget. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then he just goes on a rampage for two hours. | ||
| It was a different world back then. | ||
| Scream movies were good, I thought. | ||
| Scream? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those were good, yeah. | ||
| Those were fun. | ||
| It took a lot from that old school kind of horror slasher film thing. | ||
| Yeah, what bums me out is the lack of monster movies. | ||
| That's what bums me out. | ||
| Whenever a good monster movie comes out, I get super excited. | ||
| This is going to be fun. | ||
| But there's so few... | ||
| There's so few. | ||
| Like, Godzilla. | ||
| It was alright. | ||
| You know, it was fun. | ||
| It was really well done. | ||
| Like, the Godzilla itself was amazing. | ||
| But there's just one motherfucker, the main dude, who survives more close calls in this goddamn movie than anybody in the history of monster movies. | ||
| I mean, it's so ridiculous. | ||
| Like, everywhere he is, everybody dies and he escapes, and everybody dies and he escapes, and everybody dies and he escapes. | ||
| Like, fuck, man! | ||
| You know, by the time the movie's over, by the end of the movie, like, you've used up all your get-out-of-jail-free cards, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're just officially ridiculous. | ||
| Like, he's the guy that lands in between the paws when he goes, boom! | ||
| And he's like, oh, that was a close one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| The tail slams down. | ||
| He's like, God, I was like four feet away. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I mean, it's just, there's so many cut-the-shit scenes. | ||
| But what they can do now, as far as the special effects, it makes it worth it. | ||
| It makes it worth seeing. | ||
| Because even if the story's goofy as shit, the monsters are insane. | ||
| Like, the way Godzilla looks now, holy fuck. | ||
| Did you watch it and didn't like it? | ||
| Was that you? | ||
| I never saw it. | ||
| Or Ari? | ||
| Ari was like, he hated it. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| He's like, oh, totally don't watch that movie, ever. | ||
| I'm like, what's wrong? | ||
| And he just had all these problems with the storyline. | ||
| I'm like, Ari, it's a giant lizard destroying Japan or whatever. | ||
| It might be a god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They always do that in these movies. | ||
| It might be a god. | ||
| They might be gods. | ||
| What was the one with the giant robot warrior ones that came out? | ||
| Oh, Transformers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, it was Pacific Rim. | |
| I like that one. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Because it was just giant robots going at it. | ||
| It was like watching a video game. | ||
| Yeah, it was cool. | ||
| That part was cool, but the human parts were horrible. | ||
| It really felt like I was watching someone took a comic book and just didn't do any rewrites at all and just slapped it together. | ||
| It was very comic book-like, which I think in some cases is fine, but the comic books that they're doing now, comic book movies, they do so well. | ||
| Captain America, it's a silly story, but they do a really good job. | ||
| These movies are fun to watch. | ||
| They do a great job. | ||
| So if you go back to really clunky stuff like that, like the Pacific thing, it was too clunky for me. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| Yeah, story-wise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that I didn't even... | ||
| I was like, I want to go watch a movie and turn my brain off. | ||
| And I'm like, what better thing than watch 200-foot-tall robots destroy each other? | ||
| But there was a scene where this guy and a girl were in love with each other or something. | ||
| And I was like, what am I watching here? | ||
| Yeah, that's where you're like, oh, bathroom time. | ||
| Or cigarette or something. | ||
| What is this robot fight thing? | ||
| What are you guys doing? | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| Where's the monsters? | ||
| Show me some monsters, bitch. | ||
| I hated the acting. | ||
| I couldn't even watch it. | ||
| Yeah, but it seems like it was a choice, though. | ||
| It seemed very comic book-like, right? | ||
| Didn't it? | ||
| Almost like they were going for a certain feel. | ||
| Yeah, it had that comic book video game feel. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I don't even remember who was in it. | ||
| No. | ||
| The human beings that were in it. | ||
| Yeah, I remember I got really mad when I finally watched that movie because everyone told me it was good. | ||
| That fucking Tom Cruise movie is good. | ||
| The latest one? | ||
| Yeah, Edge of Tomorrow. | ||
| What's that one about? | ||
| It's a science fiction movie. | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| I mean, I said it's really good. | ||
| A bunch of people criticize me online. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| But I think that those people, your taste of the movie sucks. | ||
| Listen, man, it's just my taste, okay? | ||
| You can't say it sucks. | ||
| We like different things. | ||
| But I understand if you think the movie sucks to you, but to me, I thought it was excellent. | ||
| And if it wasn't Tom Cruise, I think if it was some other dude that didn't carry a lot of baggage, I think it would probably have been rated a lot higher than it was. | ||
| I think one of the reasons why people are like, oh, that movie wasn't that good, I really think it's because it's a Tom Cruise movie. | ||
| I think, like, Tom Cruise's movies, people think they're good, they're pretty good, that's pretty good. | ||
| But if it was, like, another actor in the same role, like, it wouldn't be judged the same way, I think. | ||
| I think people just think that guy's so wacky. | ||
| Yeah, his reputation precedes anything else he can do from now on. | ||
| But he's so good. | ||
| He's a really good actor. | ||
| He's a really good actor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fucking really good in this movie. | ||
| Like, you buy it. | ||
| Like, I don't want to give away the plot, but it's a pretty ridiculous plot. | ||
| And he sells it. | ||
| Like, the idea behind it is pretty crazy. | ||
| And he sells it. | ||
| It's a good fucking movie. | ||
| People forget, like, there's a reason he became the biggest movie star in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's cute. | ||
| He's got a cute face. | ||
| Yeah, he's talented. | ||
| He's talented as fuck. | ||
| He just happens to be insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that everybody who's really good at that gig is insane. | ||
| I think that's an insane person's hobby, or an insane person's profession. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're really good ones. | ||
| I mean, you can contain your insanity, but... | ||
| That's like the difficult trick, it seems, for celebrities now, is to not let it out that they're crazy. | ||
| Because there's so many venues, you could just like, I'm going to tweet something, and people are like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you know Shia LaBeouf is out of his mind? | |
| Did you read all those tweets? | ||
| And it was, it's all been there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We just didn't know. | ||
| Like, imagine if there were social media in the 50s. | ||
| Oh, good God. | ||
| Like the things Humphrey Bogart... | ||
| We'd be railing against, you know? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Like, Cary Grant's, like, homophobic. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, all the racist shit that would be said. | ||
| Yeah, all the DUIs that would be publicized. | ||
| All the, yeah. | ||
| Domestic abuse. | ||
| Like, who knows what those people were into back then? | ||
| What is that guy's name from the early 1900s? | ||
| Fatty Arbuckle. | ||
| Remember that whole story? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fatty Arbuckle, apparently, they put a bottle or a glass up a woman's vagina and it killed her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Something happened. | ||
| Let me pull it up. | ||
| Fatty. | ||
| And he was acquitted, but he never worked again. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's up on the screen for you. | |
| Fatty Arbuckle. | ||
| His name was Roscoe. | ||
| Roscoe Arbuckle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| The woman died four days later. | ||
| She'd fallen ill at a party and she died. | ||
| And he was accused by this woman's acquaintance of accidentally killing the woman. | ||
| And after the first two trials, which resulted in hung juries, Arbuckle was acquitted in the third trial and received a formal written apology from the jury. | ||
| Despite Arbuckle's acquittal, the scandal has mostly overshadowed his legacy as a pioneering comedian. | ||
| Following the trials, his films were banned and he was publicly ostracized. | ||
| Although the ban on his films was lifted within a year, Arbuckle only worked sparingly through the 1920s. | ||
| He later worked as a film director under the alias William Goodrich. | ||
| He was finally able to return to acting, making two short real comedies in 1932 for Warner Brothers. | ||
| He died in his sleep of a heart attack at the age of 46. Whoa. | ||
| Reportedly, on the same day, he signed a contract with Warner Brothers to make a feature film. | ||
| Ooh, that's scary shit. | ||
| It doesn't say here what he did. | ||
| Like, it doesn't get into graphic detail about it. | ||
| It just said she had fallen ill. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if they... | ||
| How old is that story? | ||
| It's from 1921. Yeah, I guess they... | ||
| I doubt they printed stuff like that back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like anything that alluded to sexual or whatever. | ||
| It's like, oh, she was ill. | ||
| They wouldn't even use the word pregnant. | ||
| They'd be like expecting And they're saying that he wasn't that big but what the charge was that he had killed her with his weight while savagely raping her it says The newspapers of the day reveled in the glory Rumored details juries found little evidence that Arbuckle Barbuckle wasn't any way connected with her death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Yeah, imagine how many more of those stories about those, like, old legends that were, like, considered pristine stars if there was a TMZ back then. | ||
| Yeah, there's a couple different versions. | ||
| This one website has one person's version, and then the Fatty Arbuckle version, they're two different versions of what exactly happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Either way, no boring on my friend. | |
| That's fucked. | ||
| Yeah, how did we get on the subject of Fatty Arbuckle? | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| Oh, it's because Tom Cruise is considered crazy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And we're like, they probably were a bunch of crazy. | ||
| There's always been crazy celebrities. | ||
| Yeah, that's why it was. | ||
| Yeah, there's always been crazy everything. | ||
| People are crazy. | ||
| It's just that people have done a really good job of hiding their crazy until they shut their doors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would get home, goodnight, take care, bye-bye, shut that door, and rah! | ||
| Put on a vinyl suit with a zipper. | ||
| Let's get to work. | ||
| Ball gagging plays. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go down to their basement. | ||
| Fucking chain themselves up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are crazy. | ||
| We're starting to see it. | ||
| It's coming out more. | ||
| It's going to be great when people want to go back to privacy. | ||
| When they want to cherish their privacy. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| He'd have to go somewhere like the Big Island of Hawaii. | ||
| No internet. | ||
| There's no internet? | ||
| No, I mean, you would live there with no internet. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I mean, there is internet on the Big Island. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| But if you really wanted to... | ||
| First of all, think about the fact that there's internet on the Big Island of fucking Hawaii. | ||
| It takes five hours to get there on a plane, right? | ||
| You fly through the air for five hours, and someone laid fiber across the ocean floor that is that length. | ||
| I mean, that's how it works, right? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Isn't that how it works? | ||
| There has to be a direct line somewhere. | ||
| There's underwater lines. | ||
| There's underwater lines, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| How did they do that? | ||
| The Pacific Ocean. | ||
| So they're just like, we're tossing this in there, and let's hope a shark doesn't gnaw on it. | ||
| Okay, I'm going to Google, how do they get internet in Hawaii? | ||
| Call AOL. Dude, it's one of the first things that people ask. | ||
| Let's see what they say. | ||
| Say, how does Hawaii get internet? | ||
| Yahoo answers. | ||
| The internet is provided via a 10,000-mile submarine and terrestrial fiber optic cable connecting the state's six major islands, which is owned and operated by Pacific LightNet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 10,000 miles, dude. | ||
| So there are, like, cables connecting all the continents. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's how... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| It's like, think about that. | ||
| Like, what part of that most people don't know. | ||
| Like, that part we don't know. | ||
| Like, most people are like, wait a minute, it's all a wire? | ||
| There's wires everywhere? | ||
| People don't think of that. | ||
| You don't think of that. | ||
| Like, you don't think there's, like, a wire that goes across the ocean to England, and that's how you're doing the internet with England? | ||
| You think it's, like, signals flying through the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The people building railroads were like, this is impressive. | ||
| Like, we linked this city to that one with all this steel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now it's like, there's a cable where I can just, like, pick up a thing. | ||
| And send a thing. | ||
| Yeah, and just type a thing. | ||
| And watch a video. | ||
| Yeah, screw you, train. | ||
| Takes two weeks. | ||
| That's why it gets really squirrely when people start talking about, like... | ||
| When you start talking about, like, videos that you can and can't watch in other countries, like, why can't I watch this in South Africa? | ||
| Like, why can't... | ||
| How come this is a... | ||
| It's because the pipe, like, they don't have agreement with various pipes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that must be it, right? | ||
| Music licensing also, mostly, and things like that. | ||
| Yeah, music licensing, and I'm sure also, like, that there's certain places, like, they don't want to waste their bandwidth on a product that's not available in your country. | ||
| I'm surprised terrorists just haven't gone after these lines yet. | ||
| That seems like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shh! | |
| Why are you giving them great ideas, bro? | ||
| Dude, you just gave it away. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're so bad for America. | ||
| Now Al-Qaeda's building a submarine to go down to the Pacific Trench. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not Al-Qaeda anymore. | |
| It's ISIS. You gotta keep up on your bad guys. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Didn't they change it from ISIS again? | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| Well, if they were smart, they would, since I know about it. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| I would say once I know about your organization, it's no longer secret. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I made a mistake on the last episode I was on when I saw the video of an Israeli hitting a Palestinian kid. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| When I was talking about the kid. | ||
| I guess there's just a lot of videos that they're just saying they're Israeli and they're not. | ||
| They're just trying, like, there's people on the team. | ||
| Yeah, that was a real video, but it was two other Arab kids. | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't Israeli. | ||
| So all these people, angry Jews got on my kid. | ||
| Well, we're sorry, angry Jews, you sweeties. | ||
| Angry Jews, sweeties. | ||
| But I think there's some sort of a ceasefire right now, right? | ||
| Isn't that the idea? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Unless it's already ended. | ||
| Imagine if we were going to war with Mexico. | ||
| We better not. | ||
| But think about it. | ||
| That's essentially what's going on. | ||
| Where you look at where Israel is and you look at Gaza, we're going to war with Mexico. | ||
| That would be what it would be like. | ||
| Us going back and forth and rockets from Mexico flying into San Antonio and we're like, what the fuck? | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's really what it would be like. | ||
| Yeah, like, they would, like, destroy a 7-Eleven in El Paso, and then we would just, like, bomb all of Mexico City for, like, three straight days. | ||
| But that's why the people in Israel, one of the things about people in Israel is those motherfuckers love to party. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a friend. | ||
| He was a kickboxing instructor. | ||
| I went over his house once for dinner. | ||
| And a dude was playing the bongos and his wife was dancing, his kids were dancing, and they were all cooking. | ||
| And I was like, wow, this is crazy. | ||
| And he's like, this is, you know, how we do it in Israel. | ||
| He goes, you never know, one day you die, you know? | ||
| So today, when will I? Party, party, party. | ||
| And he was like playing the bongo drums and all happy. | ||
| And I was like, wow, that's a perspective you only get when you've been involved in that sort of hellish existence. | ||
| I believe he was in the military for the Israeli army. | ||
| I think it's mandatory, actually, for everyone. | ||
| But, you know, he was an interesting guy. | ||
| But always, like, big smile on his face and very happy. | ||
| And that was his explanation. | ||
| I go, you know, how come you guys are always so happy? | ||
| When I meet someone who's that, like, exuberant, that was his explanation. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| You know, you're over there. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| Death. | ||
| Bombing. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Always terrible. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Everyone could die. | ||
| It shows you how different life with Israelis and Palestinians are. | ||
| There's no way the Palestinians are partying like that. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You'd think they'd party twice as hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're really living under at any moment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a dark situation, man. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's very dark. | ||
| Like, I asked my parents. | ||
| They're from Lebanon, my parents. | ||
| So, like, they grew up in, around all that, you know? | ||
| They were, like, Christian, you know, so they just got out of there. | ||
| They're like, we need to get out of here. | ||
| But every time I'd ask them about it, they would just, like, I'm like, what do you think about what's going on in Israel and Gaza now, all this stuff? | ||
| And they just look at me like, what do you mean? | ||
| I'm like, what do you think's gonna happen? | ||
| And they're like, the same thing that's always gonna happen. | ||
| They're gonna keep fighting, and it's never gonna end. | ||
| Psh! | ||
| Like, they just look at it like it's not even worth talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| Yeah, it's really, like, dark and you're just like, good lord. | ||
| Like, they just got so used to it. | ||
| Like, growing up that, like, war is a thing. | ||
| Like, I went to Lebanon when I was 13. Like, to go back to the homeland kind of thing. | ||
| And, like, you're in the southern parts of the country. | ||
| And I'd never seen anything like this growing up in the suburbs of L.A. But, like, you're sitting in a village... | ||
| And then there's, like, a guy tending, like, cattle. | ||
| There's, like, goats. | ||
| And then five minutes later, a tank just drives through a dirt road in a village. | ||
| No one bats an eye. | ||
| No one... | ||
| But meanwhile, I'm, like, you know, just pointing. | ||
| I'm, like, that's a tank! | ||
| And they're, like, yeah, that happens, like, two, three times a day. | ||
| Like, Israeli tanks and Lebanese tanks. | ||
| And there's soldiers with fully automatic weapons walking through towns. | ||
| And that's just, like, a normal part of life. | ||
| Well, have you ever done a gig that's on a military town? | ||
| No. | ||
| Whenever you do, anytime you're on the road, if you're near Camp Pendleton or Fort Bragg or any of these military bases, if you have a gig anywhere nearby and you hang out there for a day, you're going to see military trucks. | ||
| You're going to see camoed up Jeeps and Humvees and all these different troops constantly moving back and forth, left and right. | ||
| If you're close to that, you see it all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird if you're not used to it. | ||
| You're like, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| That's a killing machine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what a tank is. | ||
| That's all it's good for. | ||
| That's what it was doing. | ||
| It was looking for trouble. | ||
| I mean, to find if there is any trouble. | ||
| Can you imagine if you saw that tank and then all of a sudden fucking alarms start going off and the shit starts flying and you're sitting there real close to this tank that's getting shot at? | ||
| That happened when we went to sleep in the village that night. | ||
| The night before we went back up to the city in Beirut. | ||
| And, like, my younger brother and I just heard these distant, like, noises, and we, like, asked my mom, like, what are those noises? | ||
| And she said, no, don't worry, it's nothing, don't worry about it. | ||
| And the next day we were like, so what were those noises? | ||
| Like, you wouldn't tell us. | ||
| And she's like, those were bombs going off, like, five miles away from us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So it was, like, terrorists bombing each other five miles away from us. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| And you're a 13-year-old kid, and you're like, I grew up in a suburb of LA where it couldn't be safer. | ||
| Six cops will pull you over for smoking a cigarette. | ||
| And five miles away, it's like people are destroying each other. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It really helped shape my perspective of what it's like to live in America and grow up in America. | ||
| Because that could have been me. | ||
| I could have lived there. | ||
| And maybe, who knows, if I would have gotten to age 30, 31, 32, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's absolutely true. | ||
| We're all stupid lucky that we landed on this spot. | ||
| Because you could have landed anywhere. | ||
| You could be in the Congo right now going, oh... | ||
| Well, how do I get out of this? | ||
| How do I get rid of this Ebola? | ||
| Does it come to the armpit? | ||
| Is that where it hits? | ||
| Yeah, they get the big, like, big buboes, or what they call them. | ||
| Like the bubonic plague. | ||
| That's where that term comes from. | ||
| They get these, like, giant... | ||
| Oh, it's like blood or something like that? | ||
| Like your skin? | ||
| Yeah, your lymph nodes or your glyphates swell up. | ||
| That some people have read that are immune to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me. | |
| Immune to everything, bro. | ||
| Hemp powder, bro. | ||
| You can't fuck me, bro. | ||
| There's like tribal guys that like it goes through so much that like the bubonic plague of all these things, they get it and then nothing happens. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's cool genetics, but you have to be a tribal guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Probably just get a little bit of Ebola every day and develop an immunity to it. | ||
| I think it's a hemorrhagic virus, right? | ||
| I think it's one of those ones that makes you bleed. | ||
| Is it the same one that liquefies your insides? | ||
| Something bad like that. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I heard liquefied. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| And they just sent someone to America, right? | ||
| Two people to Atlanta. | ||
| Yeah, it's a hemorrhagic fever. | ||
| It's a human disease caused by the Ebola virus. | ||
| Symptoms typically start two to three weeks after two days to three weeks after contracting the virus with a fever, sore throat, muscle pains, and headaches. | ||
| Typically, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea follow along with the decreased functioning of the liver and kidneys. | ||
| At this point, some people begin to have bleeding problems. | ||
| The virus may be acquired upon contact with blood or bodily fluids of an infected animal, commonly monkeys or fruit bats. | ||
| So, somebody fucked a bat or a monkey. | ||
| And that's how we got Ebola, most likely. | ||
| Somebody got super crazy and fucked a monkey or a bat. | ||
| It's unnaturally transmitted through the air. | ||
| Fruit bats are believed to carry and spread the virus without being affected. | ||
| Once human infection occurs, the disease may spread between people as well. | ||
| Male survivors may be able to transmit the disease via semen. | ||
| Ugh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| In order to make the diagnosis, typically other diseases with similar symptoms such as malaria, cholera, and other viral hemorrhagic fevers are first excluded. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is deep shit, man. | ||
| No specific treatment for the disease. | ||
| Efforts to help persons who are infected include giving them either oral rehydration therapy, slightly salty water to drink, or intravenous fluids. | ||
| The disease has a high mortality rate, often killing between 50 and 90% of those infected. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| It was first identified in Sudan and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. | ||
| The disease typically occurs in outbreaks in tropical regions of the sub-Saharan Africa. | ||
| It's always Africa, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's always Africa. | ||
| That's where whatever gets us is gonna get out of Africa. | ||
| You know, when I did that sci-fi show, that was the scariest part, was the dealing with the infectious diseases, by far. | ||
| Where I asked people about diseases, like, what we really have to worry about. | ||
| The scariest thing they were saying wasn't terrorism. | ||
| It was just a disease that morphs. | ||
| Just something that becomes, like, super potent and kills a ton of people. | ||
| Something like, they had that Spanish flu that killed a bunch of people in the early 1900s. | ||
| Yeah, in the 1920s or whatever, yeah. | ||
| Apparently it started on a military base. | ||
| Cue the conspiracy theories. | ||
| But the thing that was really deadly about it was that it would go after young, healthy men. | ||
| People with strong immune systems. | ||
| It would shut down their immune system. | ||
| It would kill them quick, which is really strange. | ||
| It was almost designed to take out healthy people. | ||
| Yeah, because normally a flu is, it's like children and old people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, babies and old people have to worry about it. | ||
| But most young people survive. | ||
| But that's, you know, it's a creepy thought that at any time something could happen and some... | ||
| Virus could morph and turn it into some new thing that we don't know how to deal with. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Someone sneezing on you at an airport could wipe out 5% of human civilization. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about this Ebola. | ||
| 90% of the people die. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| If that's the high number. | ||
| What if everyone got Ebola? | ||
| Just think of that. | ||
| If one person get Ebola, what's to say that everyone can't get Ebola? | ||
| Well, because there are specific protocols in place. | ||
| Stop that from... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Most likely, I'm just being crazy. | ||
| Most likely, most people are not going to get Ebola. | ||
| But if they did, what we're saying is at least half would die. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's some catastrophic shit. | ||
| It's like with the way the world's interconnected, it's like that could, like TSA doesn't check for Ebola. | ||
| Like it could get through an airport, and the next thing you know, boom. | ||
| Well, listen to what that just said, that it doesn't necessarily, the symptoms don't show up that quickly. | ||
| Two days to three weeks. | ||
| Three weeks is a long time. | ||
| You contract a virus and then you have that virus for three weeks and you don't know. | ||
| If you travel a lot. | ||
| Traveling, licking your hand and touching things everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| High-fiving people. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could spread that shit for sure. | ||
| Coughing on a subway. | ||
| Like, there's so many... | ||
| The more you think about it, you're like... | ||
| Spits on their hand and gives you a handjob? | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's how you got Ebola? | ||
| You're like, God damn, really? | ||
| I'm at the hottest shit. | ||
| Her eyes were really red. | ||
| She was probably just high. | ||
| But now I feel like I have a temperature. | ||
| She was so hot, she gave me a temperature. | ||
| I think she gave me something. | ||
| Just go to Planned Parenthood. | ||
| They'll figure it out. | ||
| Planned Parenthood. | ||
| So what do I have, Doc? | ||
| Check for Ebola. | ||
| Have you been getting hand jobs from African chicks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| African chicks. | ||
| It looks like you have, we need you to leave immediately. | ||
| That's what you have. | ||
| Yeah, so the woman, the second patient, you know, there was two patients that flew into America, apparently. | ||
| Weak but improving. | ||
| The second American Ebola patient to arrive in the U.S. soil was wheeled into an Atlanta hospital Tuesday by workers in biohazard suits. | ||
| You should see the picture, man. | ||
| It's freaky. | ||
| The picture is them wheeling her into... | ||
| It's dark, dude. | ||
| Pull that picture up. | ||
| Pull this picture up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There was somebody that... | ||
| They had a video where they showed this news guy that was hiding in a bush taking video or photos of this, and he wasn't wearing a suit, though. | ||
| And it was just like, oh, he's feet away from this person, not wearing a suit. | ||
| This is how it happens. | ||
| This dumb... | ||
| Oh, yeah, that would be like a plot in that old episode of The Incredible Hulk. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That would be how the guy gets the super disease. | ||
| I'm just trying to do my job, man. | ||
| I'm a reporter. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Looking at them taking that gurney and pushing it in their spacesuits. | ||
| That's madness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like E.T. Ooh, that's so scary. | |
| Dude, that's so scary. | ||
| I wonder if it's like 90% though if it happened in developed nations with like hospitals and shit. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Because in tribes, like, in Africa, I'm sure when people get it, they're like, oh, the disease is back. | ||
| Like, what do we do? | ||
| Like, we'll just, you know, start a fire and, like, chant to the gods and, like, hope that it goes away. | ||
| More than 1,400 Ebola cases have been confirmed in the worst-known outbreak of the disease, and more than 800 people have died. | ||
| Most of these cases have been the countries of Guinea, Liberia, and Sierra Leone. | ||
| The experimental drug or anything else about the infections ultimately leads to an Ebola cure. | ||
| That would be incredible, this doctor is saying. | ||
| This is dark shit, dude. | ||
| I didn't know that this was the worst outbreak of Ebola ever. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And in countries like that, too, they're like, well, what next? | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| Like, what could be worse? | ||
| Both aid workers received doses of an experimental Ebola drug derived in part from tobacco plants and never before tested on humans before they left Liberia. | ||
| Brantley got an additional dose at Emory. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| Man. | ||
| That's scary shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty crazy. | ||
| You know, whenever there's a movie like that World War Z or any of those movies, like, it's always the same beginning. | ||
| And it's a beginning just like this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you're reading a story and you're like, do you think this sounds really bad? | ||
| And then one of us would be like, nah, it's nothing. | ||
| It's nothing to worry about. | ||
| They got it out of control. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| These guys are great at it. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| That's why there's a CDC, guys. | ||
| Anyway, I'm headed to the airport to get on a flight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| And he's the guy who lands and he's itchy and his fucking eyes are bleeding. | ||
| What's going on, man? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I'll be fine. | ||
| I gotta go home and hug my wife and children. | ||
| Hey, we really should take a look at you. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Now I'm going to go to the sporting event. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've got front row tickets to the Lakers game and I'm not gonna miss it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And he goes there and the Lakers win and you see him high-fiving everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweating. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's doing blow in the bathroom. | ||
| I feel like shit. | ||
| He does a couple of bumps and he's high-fiving everybody. | ||
| Sharing needles. | ||
| Just spreading Ebola. | ||
| I've never done heroin, but I'll try it today. | ||
| Fuck it, bro. | ||
| YOLO. He's doing heroin. | ||
| YOLO. Yeah. | ||
| Man, it could happen. | ||
| There's a lot of selfish fucking people, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| There's a lot of people that, you know, if they get HIV, they don't tell people. | ||
| That's a big one, man. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| John Holmes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I did it. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's a weird thing. | ||
| If someone caught the zombie disease and they knew they had the zombie disease, but they knew that it didn't show up for a couple weeks, but they could transmit it to people, would they still fuck? | ||
| I say they would. | ||
| They probably would. | ||
| Be on my side. | ||
| I don't want to be the only one with the zombie. | ||
| A dude was drinking in a seedy hotel room and he ordered up a stripper and he knew he had the zombie disease. | ||
| I could totally see this. | ||
| The zombie disease fucking spread. | ||
| That's all you'd have to do, right? | ||
| They find a way to rationalize. | ||
| Well, everyone's going to get it anyway. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And she asked me if I had chlamydia or gonorrhea. | ||
| I didn't lie. | ||
| I said I didn't have that. | ||
| Everybody was going to get it, bro. | ||
| The sooner you accept that, the quicker you get some of the sweet, sweet pussy. | ||
| Yeah, no one ever asks, like, you don't have this zombie disease, do you? | ||
| What are you even talking about? | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| The what disease? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you fucking me? | ||
| Yeah, why would I have... | ||
| Seriously? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there could be something dark, man. | ||
| There could be some really crazy avian swine monkey flu that comes along that they just don't see coming. | ||
| Especially these hemorrhagic ones. | ||
| Those are terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We should take these two people that they flew to Atlanta and just, like, drop them off in North Korea and just let them walk around. | ||
| They need to study them and find out whether or not the drugs work on them, dummy. | ||
| You gotta, like, find out, like, how to fix these people. | ||
| Like... | ||
| When they put a lot of money into these things, like these kind of projects, like they have new drugs they're trying to test, if it works, the amount of money that they can make from it is giant. | ||
| So they're probably working really hard on developing some sort of a cure. | ||
| They had enough hope in it, they injected people with. | ||
| That's a good sign. | ||
| You know, it doesn't mean it's going to be effective, but it means they probably have done a lot of work with it already, and they're pretty sure it does something good. | ||
| They're not just taking wild guesses. | ||
| Let's just inject them with the first thing that comes to mind. | ||
| Tobacco! | ||
| Okay, let's do it. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Tobacco. | ||
| You know, there must be some sort of a reason. | ||
| Drugmaker's stock falls after Big Pop. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Why is there no Ebola vaccine? | ||
| There is no cure for Ebola. | ||
| Dude, this is the beginning of a goddamn horror movie. | ||
| Because the people that have it don't have credit cards. | ||
| Like, why would you create a vaccine or a drug where people are like, we can pay you in goats. | ||
| We can. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Here's an Adobe Hut. | ||
| Could you imagine if we found out, and I'm sure someone will suggest, it's black helicopters! | ||
| But someone will suggest that the reason why this Ebola outbreak has happened was because someone poisoned a bunch of people. | ||
| With Ebola! | ||
| It's been shown! | ||
| They injected Ebola into the drinking water of this tribe so that they could spread it. | ||
| The aid workers would bring it back home with them. | ||
| And then next thing you know, this pharmaceutical drug company is making trillions of dollars! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Someone's going to suggest that. | ||
| But it could just be Ebola, motherfucker, alright? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could just be nature. | ||
| People escaped. | ||
| They weren't supposed to. | ||
| They quarantined people. | ||
| People got out. | ||
| It spread. | ||
| Lots of people died. | ||
| It could just be that, too. | ||
| And it's most likely just that. | ||
| But it's scary. | ||
| Scary as fuck. | ||
| It just shows you how easy it is for that shit to actually spread. | ||
| Everything doesn't have to be a conspiracy to be totally terrifying. | ||
| Just a disease like this is fucking totally terrifying. | ||
| It doesn't have to be manufactured by the government. | ||
| Everybody has this idea when one of these things happens. | ||
| It's one of the first things you start reading about. | ||
| These government instituted programs where they designed viruses that could not be fought off. | ||
| Six men in a dark smoky room. | ||
| Lower the world population. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They want to lower the world population to 500,000 worldwide. | |
| How do you think they're going to do that? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, you're like, I don't know, but why? | ||
| To pocket billions of dollars. | ||
| They will own everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 500,000 hookers and them. | ||
| A nation. | ||
| That's being 500,000 people is not a lot. | ||
| That's what the, uh, isn't that what the Georgia Guidestones, doesn't it say something like that? | ||
| It says like 500 million worldwide. | ||
| You know the Georgia Guidestones? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| The Georgia Guidestones are these really tall pieces of stone that were carved in several different languages with guides for how to run a civilization. | ||
| Whoa, I've never heard of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Here, I'll pull it up because it's pretty interesting. | ||
| The Georgia Guidestones, the guy who made them, I'm not sure who that is, but he actually had some good guides. | ||
| As far as how to manage a civilization. | ||
| They're not perfect, but they're kind of interesting. | ||
| Maintain humanity under 500 million in perpetual balance with nature. | ||
| That's one. | ||
| Two, guide reproduction wisely. | ||
| Improving fitness and diversity. | ||
| Guide reproduction, meaning engineering reproduction. | ||
| Like eugenics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, what they're doing is, look, you could say that this is some sort of an evil plot, and it may be, but it also might be that they're just trying to look at it in what you would consider a cold and calculated manner. | ||
| But if you looked at it in a cold and calculating manner, I'm not telling you that anybody should do this, but if you did... | ||
| You would want to take the smartest females and breed them with the smartest males and the ones who had the most good habits, the ones who were the most fit, you would want them to be the ones that would be raising children more often. | ||
| It's just like what you would do if you were raising dogs. | ||
| That's an interesting one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Obama is a Muslim. | ||
| Is that on the Georgia guys' terms? | ||
| It is now. | ||
| Wow, somebody spray-painted it. | ||
| That's so rude. | ||
| What else does it say here? | ||
| Unite humanity with a living new language. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| It doesn't say like... | ||
| It's emojis. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| A living new language. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Like a language for all of humanity. | ||
| That would really help. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Rule passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's just common sense, right? | ||
| Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. | ||
| That's kind of duh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. | ||
| Avoid petty laws and useless officials. | ||
| Fuck yes. | ||
| Balance personal rights with social duties. | ||
| absolutely prize truth beauty love seeking harmony with the infinite and 10 be not a cancer on the earth leave room for nature leave room for nature the only thing that's repeated twice in the entire thing Thank you. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| It's not a bad idea. | ||
| I mean, listen, you're going to need a lot more than that if you're on the run of fucking world. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| But they're not bad. | ||
| There's only a couple of them that are kind of goofy. | ||
| There's nothing in there about how to lay fiber optic cables. | ||
| Across the fucking ocean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Help us out here, Georgia Stone thing. | ||
| Where's the Georgia Stone thing at? | ||
| It's Georgia, I assume. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| Elbert County, Georgia. | ||
| A message clearly conveying a set of ten guidelines as inscribed on the structure in eight modern languages, and a shorter message is inscribed at the top of the structure in four ancient languages. | ||
| Babylonian, Classical Greek, Sanskrit, and Egyptian hieroglyphs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The structure is sometimes referred to as American Stonehenge. | ||
| Monument is 19 feet 3 inches tall, made from six granite slabs, weighing 237,746 pounds. | ||
| Why am I reading this? | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| The capstone lies at the top of the five slabs, which are astronomically aligned. | ||
| An additional stone tablet, which is set on the ground a short distance to the west of the structure, provides some notes on the history and the purpose of the guidestones. | ||
| In June of 1979, an unknown person or persons under the pseudonym R.C. Christian hired Elberton Granite Finishing Company to build the structure. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| In 2008, the stones were defaced with polyurethane paint, death to the New World Order, like all that shit that we saw. | ||
| Wired Magazine called the defacement the first serious act of vandalism in the Guidestones history. | ||
| I wonder if they cleaned that up. | ||
| Can they clean that shit up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, you can still slightly see it, but... | ||
| Oh, that's so annoying. | ||
| It is annoying. | ||
| Death to the New World Order. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Some fucking kids. | ||
| Kids are crazy people. | ||
| Death to the New World Order. | ||
| Can you imagine if they said, okay, listen, man, we're going to give you a button that kills the New World Order. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| But before you hit that button, can you at least identify who you're killing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's death to the New World Order. | ||
| What's the New World Order? | ||
| Is it the banks? | ||
| Or is it the politicians? | ||
| Is it everybody? | ||
| Yeah, it's really vague. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And if you kill them, what happens to everything? | ||
| Because if you go totally death to the New World Order, what are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to run the banks? | ||
| Who's going to run the banks? | ||
| Is there a bank now? | ||
| How do I get credit? | ||
| How do I use my credit card? | ||
| Yeah, you can't just hit the button and then be like, I'm going to go get something to eat now. | ||
| Because your credit card won't work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's over. | ||
| It's over, dude. | ||
| You've got to be careful. | ||
| You can't death to the New World Order. | ||
| Maybe enslave them and force them to work for us. | ||
| Enslave the New World Order and force them to work for us and fix this problem that they created. | ||
| Okay, I'll be with you. | ||
| I'm down with you on that. | ||
| Death to the New World Order. | ||
| At least can they just tell us how this thing is running before you kill them? | ||
| I'd start with accountability for the New World Order. | ||
| Explain yourselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Death. | |
| Meanwhile, would you ride down on the Georgia Guidestones, you silly fuck? | ||
| The Georgia Guidestones are fascinating. | ||
| I think it's interesting that they don't know who the dude is. | ||
| Or unknown dudes or dudettes. | ||
| Yeah, especially since they commissioned, like, a place to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, dude, don't tell anyone we were here. | ||
| Well, you could rock it that way in 1979, though. | ||
| You know? | ||
| 1979, like, there's no DNA, there's no credit cards, there's no nothing. | ||
| A paper receipt with a carbon coffee that they gave you. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| That was the only record. | ||
| Yeah, people used to buy groceries with checks all the time. | ||
| You would see women at the cash register, and they would be reading, okay, what's that? | ||
| And they'd pay with a check. | ||
| That was super common. | ||
| Now it's rare. | ||
| When I see someone paying with a check, I get kind of excited. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a legacy thing. | ||
| Like, whoa, you're not going to see that much longer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's always old people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Or, you know, there's some housewives. | ||
| Sometimes people, they like to balance their checkbook like that. | ||
| That's how they make sure that they keep an accurate assessment of what's in there. | ||
| But now you can balance your checkbook. | ||
| You can look it up online. | ||
| Not balance it, but at least be aware. | ||
| You can do it pretty easily. | ||
| Find out what your balance is. | ||
| The craziest thing is you can send a check. | ||
| You can take a picture of a check and send it over the internet. | ||
| Yeah, deposit it using your phone. | ||
| Well, how about all these businesses now that have these phone apps that you put a thing on your phone, you swipe a credit card, and you can pay for a credit card with your phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of businesses have those things now. | ||
| Square is the big one, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That changes merch. | ||
| You can go, oh, I now accept credit cards on my iPhone. | ||
| Do you have one of those? | ||
| Because you have an LLC, right? | ||
| For Death Squad. | ||
| So you have one of those you put on your phone? | ||
| Anyone can get one. | ||
| But do you have one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you have one for shows and shit when you sell t-shirts? | ||
| Yeah, I've never really done that. | ||
| Dude, why are you not doing that? | ||
| That sounds perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That sounds cool as fuck. | ||
| You feel so independent. | ||
| Like, yeah, I'm my own business. | ||
| Yeah, I would... | ||
| Wait, are you saying there's a problem? | ||
| Do you not do it because there's, like, some issue? | ||
| No, I just... | ||
| It's just, you know, if you're selling a $10 poster, usually people have $10, you know, so it's not necessary, but if I... Somebody likes cash! | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| How about we fucking next subject, Yusuf? | ||
| Next subject! | ||
| But no, it works good. | ||
| I mean, my weed dealer sells it. | ||
| Hey, easy, bro. | ||
| You're fucking throwing him under the bus, too. | ||
| How dare you throw him under the bus? | ||
| No, it's cool. | ||
| A lot of small businesses, like mom and pop stores use that now. | ||
| Instead of having the big credit card machine, they just have an iPad sitting there that you just sign. | ||
| Yeah, it makes sense. | ||
| I went to a coffee place recently that you swipe your credit card and then you write on the screen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, you write your thing on the screen. | ||
| What's really crazy is that there's like these little tablets and it's all this really complicated screen, high definition, touch screen, super accurate, but you're still like doing this thing with your fucking, you're putting your mark. | ||
| That's how you prove it's you. | ||
| That's so goofy. | ||
| It is goofy. | ||
| It's real weird that that's still the way we do it. | ||
| And it doesn't even matter anymore. | ||
| There's no need to go through that. | ||
| I did once, because I was looking at one of these sign-in things, I'm like, there's no way it matters. | ||
| And I wrote in the signature box, stolen card. | ||
| And I hit submit, and it totally worked. | ||
| Yeah, it's just they want to get a record of you making a mark on that paper. | ||
| You making a mark on that screen. | ||
| What do you think will happen, because they're going to stop teaching cursive in school? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're already starting to? | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| What's going to happen with signatures? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| How are we going to sign things? | ||
| Like, if you never learn cursive, are we going to all have, like, codes? | ||
| Do you think that the idea of signing things is ridiculous? | ||
| And isn't it kind of ridiculous? | ||
| The idea of signing things? | ||
| Like, you said! | ||
| You wrote it down! | ||
| We got it right here! | ||
| He said it! | ||
| Like the idea that you're bound to an agreement. | ||
| These wavy lines that you put on paper. | ||
| There's certain things that I think like business dealings, like say if you and I decided to build a house together, like Nick and Joe go into construction business and we decided to build, and we have a business and the business is 50-50 and we pay for the same amount for this and that and we get the same amount of profit and you got that all worked out. | ||
| That kind of makes sense to do that. | ||
| But there's a lot of things that you sign for, like cable agreements, you know, or cell phone contracts, or there's entanglements, business entanglements. | ||
| There's a contract to get a cell phone? | ||
| I have to have a contract? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| What am I agreeing to? | ||
| I'm agreeing to... | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| There's a whole documentary I watched on Netflix about terms and conditions and all the things that you sign away the second you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, you don't even look at them. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Who fucking reads that shit? | ||
| Nobody, and that's why they get away with putting all kinds of insane shit in there. | ||
| What's the documentary called? | ||
| It's called, like, We're Fucked or some shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's something really terrible. | |
| I think it's called, like, Terms and Conditions, Terms and Something. | ||
| It's on Netflix. | ||
| And it's pretty interesting that they go through all the different companies and which ones will sell your personal information because you've agreed. | ||
| The second you click yes on iTunes or you agree to Apple's the second you turn on your iPhone or something like that, they can store your information. | ||
| They can sell it if the government needs it. | ||
| They used to be like, we will not give out your information, and then they've changed the clause to, like, you know, unless... | ||
| Like, it'll be words like, unless certain things come up. | ||
| Like, well, what the fuck does that mean? | ||
| It'll just be anything? | ||
| Unless certain things come up. | ||
| They're so vague about it. | ||
| Like, you know, unless, like, shit goes down. | ||
| You're like, you can't say that! | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| that that south park episode human cine pad where it's all about apples termines and conditions and it ends up like having like you signed you have to eat this guy's ass oh south park's the best That's so great. | ||
| Nobody reads it. | ||
| I would love to know what the actual numbers of people who read the terms and conditions before they click on it. | ||
| Oh, it's got to be like half a percent. | ||
| If that, right? | ||
| Because it's so much. | ||
| That means half a percent is one person out of 200, right? | ||
| Isn't that what it means? | ||
| I think, well, yeah, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, 1% would be 1 out of 100, so half a percent is 1% out of 200. Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| So, I don't believe that. | ||
| Do you think it's even less? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's probably... | ||
| Not one percent, but like one-tenth of one percent. | ||
| I bet it's one out of a thousand. | ||
| That's what I bet. | ||
| Yeah, that makes more sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One out of a thousand actually reads the whole thing and goes, hmm, do I want to click on this? | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gets out his reading glasses, this fucking goddamn liberal president we have here trying to communize my country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that guy will read it. | ||
| And they tell you... | ||
| Black cell adopters. | ||
| They tell you in the documentary, if you've spent all the time reading every time a new terms and conditions comes up for all the different things that make you sign one, it would take years of your life. | ||
| You have to take days off of work to be like, dude, I just signed up for Netflix, Spotify, and I got a new iPhone, so I can't come into work today because I have to read 860 pages of legal jargon. | ||
| Yeah, it should be, at a certain point in time, it should be that your method of delivery is so woefully ineffective that it's illegal. | ||
| Like, in terms and conditions on that scale, if I could prove that my theory was correct, and then it's like one-half of one percent, or one-tenth of one percent, rather, that actually read that thing, those should be illegal. | ||
| Because you're making people sign things that they're just not reading. | ||
| You know they're not reading it! | ||
| You're, like, misleading. | ||
| You're intentionally making it more difficult. | ||
| They make everything so rock-solid in their favor, and even things that just shouldn't be that way. | ||
| There's certain agreements. | ||
| When you find out that anytime you cancel, anytime you want to change this, you're subject to fees, you're subject to that, and you find out things about your information, your history, they're selling your phone number or your email. | ||
| There's so many things that happen to people when you sign those little things away. | ||
| But we do it recklessly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't ever think about it. | ||
| Have you ever had an app that you clicked yes on and started making tweets for you? | ||
| Yeah, especially on Android, there's a lot of sketchy things that you're installing so they can also track you. | ||
| Whoever made this app can track you. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| I had a guy, he made some app that tweeted for me something about a prize for an iPad. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And someone said, dude, you hawk in iPads? | ||
| And I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| And then I went to my thing. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| And then I found out where it was from. | ||
| This guy, I guess I had, like, retweeted something from a website. | ||
| Like, sometimes when you retweet something, like, if you go to a website and you click on a story or something that you think is interesting, and you, there's like a tweet button. | ||
| But if you tweet it, like, sometimes you're agreeing to allow them to have access to your Twitter account. | ||
| Or at least used to be that way. | ||
| Well, a lot of those websites, that's how they steal your password also, because you go in there and it could be like, tweet this story, and it's just like you need to log in, and what it's doing, it's actually stealing your password and logging you in at the same time, so it looks like everything's going right, and then that's how a lot of people get phished for their passwords. | ||
| Yeah, I could only imagine. | ||
| But this dude somehow or another had like an app installed on my Twitter. | ||
| It was like, you know, those things that are attached to your Twitter? | ||
| You know, there's like Evernote, and you can tweet with Evernote, and there's a bunch of different ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guy had like this installed on my computer. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| So I go to his website, his website is like, you know, his Twitter page has got like 100,000 fucking friends, or whatever it is, followers. | ||
| Like, how's he doing that? | ||
| Like, it's just scams all around. | ||
| Yeah, you automatically add him, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I do a search to find out what kind of traffic his website's getting. | ||
| Ridiculous traffic. | ||
| Because there's all this weasel work going on. | ||
| Sneaky people that force you into clicking on things or trick you into clicking on things. | ||
| Next thing you know, they're tweeting about iPad giveaways from your account. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| And then you find out that that's legal. | ||
| You actually clicked on a thing that said you're allowed to do that. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yeah, it's bizarre. | ||
| After watching that documentary, it made me want to just not sign up for a lot of websites where I'm like, do I really want that? | ||
| Do I need that? | ||
| Because I'm not going to read the terms and conditions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoa, Brian Dunning sentenced to 15 months in prison. | ||
| Who is that? | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Remember Brian? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Brian Dunning was the guy. | ||
| I had him on my podcast, and we had a very contentious discussion. | ||
| Sad to hear. | ||
| And he... | ||
| He had an issue with, I believe it was Amazon, right? | ||
| eBay. | ||
| Yeah, and he had created some sort of an app, and if you use the app, it puts a cookie on your computer, like if you use it. | ||
| It puts a cookie on your computer, and then any time you go to eBay and make a purchase or do business, he would get a kickback. | ||
| And the way he described it and the way they described it is very different, so I don't know who's right or who's wrong. | ||
| But what they're accusing him of is you plant something on your, like it plants a cookie, and then even if you don't go to eBay through his website, it appears that you did. | ||
| So they have these eBay affiliates where, say, if nickyusef.com, if I went through that and then went to eBay and purchased something, you would get a little tiny piece of the action. | ||
| And over time, that counts for a lot. | ||
| And because these apps were popular, they counted for a lot, and he made a lot of money. | ||
| Five million. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, he made five million dollars off his app, and then they shut it down and arrested him. | ||
| And when we had him on the podcast, I do not think he's a bad guy, but there's something wrong with the way he thinks. | ||
| And when I say that, I say that with all respect and dignity, communicating about a fellow human being. | ||
| Like, I don't hate that guy. | ||
| He's silly and he said a bunch of crazy shit about me. | ||
| But I think there's something wrong with the way he thinks. | ||
| And I even communicated with him about that in private. | ||
| We had like a little email conversation. | ||
| He actually asked me about psychedelic drugs. | ||
| And he's curious about the mind-expanding aspects. | ||
| And we had a pretty intense conversation about it. | ||
| Because I think... | ||
| And I told him that. | ||
| I said, with all due respect, I think there's something wrong with the way you think. | ||
| Like, I don't know what it is, but I think it's like a mental illness. | ||
| His versions of reality and reality itself are so twisted. | ||
| Like there was a video that we watched of Tower 7 from September 11th falling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was trying to convince us that it doesn't collapse into its base. | ||
| He was trying to convince us that only three quarters of the tower, the three quarters of the tower is still standing. | ||
| It was only the top quarter or whatever it was. | ||
| He had some weird numbers in his head. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about? | ||
| That thing gives out and falls into a pile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, the reason why it's so high is because that's how much shit there is. | ||
| The whole thing's gone. | ||
| Like, the building disintegrated. | ||
| It's not a cartoon where it all just vanishes. | ||
| Yeah, it's all on top. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's a for rent sign. | ||
| It's a stack of shit. | ||
| The reason why the stack is so high is because there was a lot of shit above it. | ||
| It fell. | ||
| Like, this is retarded. | ||
| Like, this is... | ||
| But he wouldn't let it go. | ||
| And when I was looking at him, when he wouldn't let it go, I was like, oh, there's something wrong in there. | ||
| Like there's a missing thing. | ||
| And then when he started talking about his life, it made way more sense because he was raised a very, very conservative Mormon. | ||
| Like his whole life, he was very religious. | ||
| And he's developed, his mind developed under this fundamentalist thinking that is super damaging to people. | ||
| And that sounds like an ignorant bigot, an anti-religious thing for me to say, but just listen to this for a second. | ||
| I have friends that grew up Mormon, and they, to this day, tell me that they're really gullible, and they worry about it. | ||
| They don't... | ||
| They don't know whether or not someone is trying to pull a fast one on them. | ||
| They don't know whether or not a yoga guru or a cult member could rope them in and suck them into things by telling them that they found the secret. | ||
| They have this weird need to believe irrational things. | ||
| This is from this woman who tells me herself. | ||
| It disturbs her. | ||
| She's like, I don't know what it is, but I have this weird... | ||
| I'm susceptible to trickery. | ||
| I was like, whoa, that is a weird admission. | ||
| And she was just like, as I've gotten older, and she's not dumb. | ||
| She's like, as I've gotten older and I've talked to my other friends, I'm like, well, what is it about me? | ||
| And she's like, because all my life, I thought that God had my back. | ||
| All my life, I thought that God has everything covered and everything's going to be fine. | ||
| Until over and over again, fucked up things would happen to her. | ||
| And she was forced to go, wait, what's going on here? | ||
| And then she would see... | ||
| The ridiculous hypocrisy of the church. | ||
| She looked into the religion deeper and then got to your 40s and is looking at her life going, fuck! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| And why am I... That guy is like that. | ||
| He grew up super religious. | ||
| When you grew up super religious like that, especially if you don't have open-minded parents, there's a way I think that you could grow up with a sense of spirituality and still be very open-minded and Maybe scientifically inclined, but the reason why this guy is such a skeptic, he's going after things, debunking things, showing, ha, this is all nonsense, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Have you ever seen his video on fracking? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the perfect example. | ||
| There's like a no-nonsense voice that people use. | ||
| And it's like there's a tone. | ||
| There's like a very condescending way of communicating their ideas. | ||
| It's the no-nonsense guy. | ||
| And there's a lot of things that are misunderstood about hydraulic fracturing, otherwise known as fracking. | ||
| Have you ever seen it? | ||
| Pull that video up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I believed it back in the day when I first saw it. | ||
| What'd you believe? | ||
| That fracking was real. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Or, I mean, not fracking. | ||
| I'm sorry, never mind. | ||
| I believed it. | ||
| Fracking's totally real. | ||
| They make a lot of money off of fracking, son. | ||
| What were you talking about? | ||
| This little... | ||
| Things in the cameras. | ||
| I was thinking of that. | ||
| Things in the cameras? | ||
| Remember the lines? | ||
| Oh, you're talking about the rods? | ||
| Rods. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, that's totally different. | ||
| That guy's mad at me. | ||
| That rod guy. | ||
| The rod guy? | ||
| They've clowned him on that MonsterQuest show. | ||
| Do you know what the rods are? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| There's a visual artifact that comes when bugs fly across the screen. | ||
| Bugs move really fast, and if you don't have a super high-speed camera, it can't capture the bug, so it elongates the shape of the bug, because it's this little tiny thing moving quickly, and it looks like a translucent tube that's moving through the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's just a video artifact of video cameras trying to capture high-speed bugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And this guy made all these documentaries about these things flying in the air, man. | ||
| And you can only see them on camera. | ||
| They move too fast with the human eye. | ||
| Which doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Because if I can see them on the camera, like the video, that's not too fast with the human eye. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I'm seeing the video of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just... | |
| Like, this is actually slower than the human eye can perceive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, the human eye sees shit. | ||
| You know, like, hey, what is that? | ||
| Fucking some shit flying fire. | ||
| You would see it. | ||
| This is so stupid. | ||
| Like, if you could see it in the video, you would see it in real life. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| So he tried to run with a conspiracy? | ||
| Oh, he made documentaries. | ||
| Me and Eddie Bravo got stoned as fuck and watched it. | ||
| And we're like, dude, what do you think these rods are? | ||
| We're so high. | ||
| We're so high. | ||
| We're so ridiculous. | ||
| We're going, what do you think they are, man? | ||
| It's crazy that you can't see them. | ||
| I'm like, that doesn't even make any sense, man. | ||
| It doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| So you think they're everywhere? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're everywhere. | |
| They're just moving so fast we can't see them. | ||
| We're like, that's so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe we should put up a net. | |
| We should put up a net and try to catch them. | ||
| Yo, they're so fast. | ||
| They see the net. | ||
| They're gone. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Otherwise, they would slam into planes and shit. | ||
| They'd be peeling them off of planes. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Listen to Brian talk about hydraulic fracturing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then sand is mixed with the water and gets distributed throughout the cracks to prop them open. | |
| The water is then pumped back out and now the gas can freely flow to the borehole. | ||
| The controversy comes mainly from the fact that about one half of one percent of the fluid consists of lubricants and surfactants. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Controversy comes from the fact that people can't drink their water anymore, man. | ||
| This hydraulic fracturing, that's one of those things you bring up in a conversation on podcasts and people go fucking bananas. | ||
| It's a global warming type issue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, you know how global warming, if you believe in global warming or if you don't believe in global warming, you're going to piss somebody off and they're going to get heated tweets about it. | ||
| People get fucking furious. | ||
| Because it's an ideology argument. | ||
| Abortion. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| People that support hydraulic fracturing support business. | ||
| You don't understand, Nick Youssef, you fucking hippie. | ||
| You don't understand business, okay? | ||
| The way business gets done, it's cheaper to get that oil out than it is to rely on foreign oil and endanger Americans. | ||
| It's that sort of attitude. | ||
| And then there's the people that are environmentally conscious, go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's happening? | ||
| How much water's getting polluted? | ||
| How many wells are there? | ||
| There's millions? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| You guys have a million fracking wells. | ||
| There's a million. | ||
| And it's causing earthquakes, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
| You can't... | ||
| Well, what we need now is not hippies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What we need now is oil. | |
| Patriotism. | ||
| Patriotism and oil. | ||
| I'm not pro or con fracking, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I'm not opposed to putting a fence around a certain area of, like, South Dakota where nobody goes and fracking the shit out of that bitch and not having to go to war for foreign oil. | ||
| I'm not totally opposed to that. | ||
| My problem is I don't think it's controlled. | ||
| When you talk about, like, all right, let's guess. | ||
| How many fracking wells are there? | ||
| Let's take a wild guess. | ||
| They've been fracking in Ohio lately, and now we have all these earthquakes over there. | ||
| Oh, yeah, proven. | ||
| Yeah, proven. | ||
| That's so scary. | ||
| Okay, how many fracking wells in the U.S.? A thousand. | ||
| That's so cute. | ||
| That's a really low number. | ||
| Oh, that's so low. | ||
| Or do I just look cute right now? | ||
| You do look, you're a handsome bastard. | ||
| But that, no, I'm saying it's so low, it's ridiculous. | ||
| I bet it's more than a million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I would say a million. | |
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I'd say, yeah, 5,000 to 10,000. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Okay, you guys say in the thousands, would you say? | ||
| I said around 1,000. | ||
| You said 5,000 to 10,000, I said a million. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I bet you guys are right. | ||
| Okay, 2013. What's the numbers? | ||
| Over 1.1 million active oil and gas wells in the U.S. Whoa. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Alright, how many of them are fractured? | ||
| Many people ask us how many wells have been hydraulically fractured in the United States. | ||
| It's an excellent question, but not one that's easily answered. | ||
| Most states don't release the data on well stimulation activities. | ||
| Also, since the data are released by state regulatory agencies, it is necessary to obtain data from each state that has oil and gas data to even begin the conversation. | ||
| We finally had a chance to complete the task. | ||
| And have able to be able to aggregate the following totals. | ||
| Wow, this is pretty nuts, man. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking wells, bro. | ||
| There's over a million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Dude, that's scary. | ||
| Man. | ||
| How is that a better idea than investing in like solar paneling and like alternate sources? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's a bunch of different kinds of wells, though. | ||
| So let me just clarify that. | ||
| There's directional, there's a bunch of different types. | ||
| Directional, horizontal, either direction or horizontal, vertical, hydraulically fractured, not fractured, unknown, or shale formation. | ||
| So out of all of these, all of these, it's a million. | ||
| But it says hydraulically fractured, it says 130. But does that mean there's only 130 fracking wells? | ||
| As each state releases data differently, it wasn't always possible to get consistent data on fracking wells. | ||
| These wells are known to be hydraulically fractured, but the slant of the well is unknown. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| get the um the oil out this is fascinating shit man they go down then they take turns they're like they'll go down and then take left turns or they'll go like horizontally or they'll go at an angle into the earth depending on where the where the rock is and where the oil is they're trying to suck out wow that's a crazy fucking thing man how Hydraulically fractured... | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| Wells that have been hydraulically fractured might appear in any of the eight categories, with the obvious exception of not fractured. | ||
| So that's the only one that doesn't have hydraulically fractured wells included in it. | ||
| So categories that are very likely to be fractured include horizontal, hydraulically fractured, and unknown shale formation, the total of which is 32,000 wells. | ||
| That's most likely to be fractured. | ||
| So they don't know, but at least 32,000. | ||
| However, the number doesn't include any wells from Texas or Colorado. | ||
| Where we know thousands of wells have been drilled into major shale formations, but the data for which had to be placed into categories that were more vague. | ||
| So there's different states that have different regulatory bodies, I guess. | ||
| There's states that are better to fucking rape the earth in. | ||
| They probably are better off hiding the information too. | ||
| So it seems like what they're saying is like 32,000 plus hydraulically fractured ones that they could locate, that they know are most likely hydraulically fractured. | ||
| But then there's a bunch of the other ones that possibly could. | ||
| And the ones that aren't fractured, there's only 7,477 of them out of the 1,136,000. | ||
| What's crazy is that they create earthquakes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| And then it's still like, nah, it's worth it. | ||
| It's worth it. | ||
| Totally worth it. | ||
| Bro, it's worth it if you keep your family warm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's for America. | ||
| Keep America safe, bro. | ||
| America safe. | ||
| America's going to be a puddle of goo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A stinky puddle of goo and dead elk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking... | |
| Choking bison with their fucking legs over there. | ||
| Gagging blood out. | ||
| They have a new Ebola that comes only from oil. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I just wish there was a better way to power shit. | ||
| I wonder if there was no oil. | ||
| Let's say that oil didn't exist. | ||
| How far do you think civilization would have gone? | ||
| Because there's no doubt that the combustion engine and making machines and trucks and engines... | ||
| That's the reason why we became what we are today. | ||
| There's this fucking chaotic mass superorganism that we are. | ||
| So if there was no oil, if there wasn't an element on Earth, and you only could have plant-based oils like... | ||
| Sunflower oil or some shit. | ||
| Hemp oil. | ||
| Which they use for lamps and stuff. | ||
| They use different kinds of oils for lamps. | ||
| But no oil in the ground. | ||
| How far would things have gotten? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because how long would it have taken... | ||
| This is the part of the conversation where Brian checks Alex. | ||
| Yeah, he's like... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Because how long would it have been before you'd found an alternate way, like the electric car? | ||
| How long did that take? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| But you need combustion engines to make all those things. | ||
| To make an electric car? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need an engine to take the parts, to get the parts to the car manufacturer, to deliver the stuff. | ||
| Those are all being delivered with trucks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, this idea that, like, you get an electric car and you're karma-free, this is nonsense. | ||
| Well, no, that technology would have had to have been created for the manufacturing. | ||
| Everything would have had to have been run electrically. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But how long would it have taken to discover, yeah? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Without the motor to take the parts to put it together. | ||
| Like, you've got to pick up the tire somewhere and drive a truck. | ||
| Those aren't electric trucks. | ||
| Yeah, it would have been like wagons for so many years. | ||
| With oxen, it would have had oxen pulling your fucking tires. | ||
| And then how are they going to figure out a way to power up these machines? | ||
| What's it going to fire up the electricity? | ||
| Are they going to use a dam? | ||
| And the dam fires up the electricity for these machines, and these machines build this engine. | ||
| And is there enough electricity to charge batteries? | ||
| And where are you guys getting the batteries? | ||
| Where are you getting the minerals that go in the batteries? | ||
| You gotta go to Afghanistan, man. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta drill for them. | ||
| How are you gonna get to Afghanistan? | ||
| The oxen can't swim. | ||
| You gotta take a fucking raft and fill it up with minerals from Afghanistan and floaty back to America and build your stupid electric car? | ||
| The battery would have been invented in like 1973. It would have taken that long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what Obama meant when he was like, when you started a small business, you didn't build that. | |
| That's what he meant. | ||
| The infrastructure. | ||
| You cannot have an electric car without the infrastructure. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They created batteries back in the Egyptian days, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they might have been... | ||
| I think they could have probably done something. | ||
| It would have been... | ||
| Well, those batteries were dog shit, by the way. | ||
| Everybody's like, the batteries were amazing. | ||
| They weren't even iPhone 1. They weren't even close. | ||
| They were stupid. | ||
| They weren't even Duracell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those bitches couldn't even power a light. | ||
| You couldn't have the light that powers your cell phone. | ||
| I went out to close my chicken coop last night, and I used my phone as a flashlight. | ||
| The new iPhone has a built-in flashlight thing. | ||
| You slide this thing up, and you hit that, and boom, you got a flashlight. | ||
| It takes two seconds. | ||
| It's built in. | ||
| It's such a slick thing. | ||
| Go outside. | ||
| That wouldn't work without a stupid Egyptian battery. | ||
| Big, goofy-ass thing. | ||
| Gotta carry around this pot with a copper core. | ||
| Unless you made a big one, like the size of a pyramid. | ||
| The pyramid was a battery the whole time. | ||
| Can you imagine if that's what it was? | ||
| Soon our battery will be operable. | ||
| That was one of the crazy conspiracy theory hypotheses. | ||
| The pyramid was a giant, some sort of a power plant. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Of course. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| If you can think it up, somebody has probably written blog entries about it. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| It doesn't matter how kooky the idea is. | ||
| If you can think up a kooky idea, somebody's written some shit about it. | ||
| I was thinking of bugs the other day because there was a praying mantis that was on my porch that just hung out the whole day. | ||
| And he has these huge antennas. | ||
| And I was like, isn't it weird that we don't really focus... | ||
| These bugs have antennas on them. | ||
| In the future, we're going to find out that these are aliens that are communicating with each other through some Wi-Fi. | ||
| Well, they might as well be aliens. | ||
| We just don't give a shit about them because they're little. | ||
| We can just kick them out of the way. | ||
| They're little drones. | ||
| They're drones for aliens. | ||
| There's these little... | ||
| What they are is a weird little life form that shares the world with us that has no morals, no ethics. | ||
| They're ruthless, cold-hearted, emotionless killers. | ||
| They have a hard skeleton. | ||
| They don't need each other's touch. | ||
| They have this very bizarre military organization as far as they have a queen. | ||
| They have the worker bees and they're building shelter and protecting the hive. | ||
| They're weird, man. | ||
| We just don't think of them as being so weird because they're little and we could fucking smush them like that. | ||
| But if a bee was big... | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But a lot of them, it's like, if they all of a sudden became big, we're like, fuck! | ||
| And then we're like, oh, cool, they only live for four days. | ||
| Thank God! | ||
| That threat's neutralized soon. | ||
| Yeah, but there's so many of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Before we started killing them off with cell phones, cell phones and pesticides, apparently, the good one that's whacked them out. | ||
| Remember when you were a kid? | ||
| Bees were everywhere. | ||
| How often are you seeing bees? | ||
| Every day at my house. | ||
| But do you see bees like you saw in bees when you were a kid? | ||
| Well, I have a ton of... | ||
| Like, bees nests everywhere in my house. | ||
| Yeah, you do? | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Maybe you got a sweet spot for bees. | ||
| And wasps. | ||
| Bee populations are pretty down, though, aren't they? | ||
| Wasn't that like a... | ||
| It's a major concern. | ||
| Let's see, dropping bee populations. | ||
| Let's play another game. | ||
| I say bee populations are down by 40%. | ||
| 40, wow. | ||
| I would say... | ||
| 25. 20%. | ||
| 25%? | ||
| What do you say, Brian? | ||
| I say it's up. | ||
| I say I think it's a big conspiracy. | ||
| I think bees are going crazy. | ||
| More bees than ever. | ||
| All around Brian's house. | ||
| In fact, we have a bee problem. | ||
| We need to stop these bees. | ||
| Okay, 30%. | ||
| It's even crazier. | ||
| 30% in the U.S., beekeepers experience losses of 40% or 50% or more. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, just as commercial bee operations... | ||
| Prepared to transport their hives to the country's largest pollinator event, the fertilizing of California's almond trees. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| So I guess they hire people to go do that. | ||
| They bring bees, and the bees pollinate these plants. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| Spread out across 800,000 acres, California's almond orchards typically require 1.6 million domesticated bee colonies to pollinate the flowering trees and produce what has become the state's largest overseas agricultural export. | ||
| I did not know that. | ||
| Almonds are our largest overseas export? | ||
| And why is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because weed's illegal, bitch! | |
| If weed was legal, you don't think that people in Portugal would be dying to get a hold of some goddamn California weed? | ||
| But given widespread bee losses to so-called colony collapse disorder this winter, California's almond growers were able to pollinate their crop automatically. | ||
| Only through an intense nationwide push to cobble together the necessary number of healthy bee colonies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Nationwide push. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's how they grow almonds? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| I love when I find out something like this, where I had no idea. | ||
| I thought bees, they just made honey and they pollinated shit, but I didn't know that they needed them to grow almonds. | ||
| They're domesticated. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| Yeah, I thought they only did one thing. | ||
| They make two delicious items. | ||
| Make almonds? | ||
| Yeah, if it wasn't for them. | ||
| That's amazing! | ||
| But that these colonies were down, and that in order to pollinate all of their plants, they needed to bring in other bees. | ||
| There's not, like, another possibility. | ||
| They're like, no, no, no, no, no, we need bees. | ||
| But isn't there another method? | ||
| Let's put our heads together. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| They're not going to grow. | ||
| You need bees, or it's not going to grow. | ||
| That really puts into light how important bees are, something like that. | ||
| That really makes you realize, like, oh, like... | ||
| If it's not for bees, there's not a lot of shit. | ||
| Like, you need those little cunty bugs. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's bizarre, man. | ||
| And there's this image on this Yale site where I'm reading a story, and there's this dude who's dressed up in this beekeeper's outfit, and he's handling these bees and moving them around in these California farms, these onion crops. | ||
| And you're looking at them, you're like, how is that much different than the Ebola guy? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| I mean, he's got a fucking crazy suit to protect him as well. | ||
| That dude's fully suited up for an invasion of attacking monsters. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| What is that, Brian? | ||
| That's Tony Hinchcliffe dressed up as a bee. | ||
| He is a bee. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The greatest bee of all time. | ||
| Do wasps do anything positive? | ||
| They fuck up bees. | ||
| Oh, is that it? | ||
| They're just dicks. | ||
| Aren't they the ones that can keep stinging you? | ||
| It's like a kamikaze mission. | ||
| It's like one and done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wasps. | |
| Yeah, have you ever seen that video, the Japanese hornets killing the beehive? | ||
| No. | ||
| Ooh, it's the weirdest video ever, man, because it's this... | ||
| If we put it on, it'll probably get us kicked off of YouTube, right? | ||
| Is that how it works? | ||
| Wait, really? | ||
| It's one of those ones. | ||
| There's nature documentaries, man. | ||
| They go after you and have you pulled from YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, nature documentaries. | ||
| People own them. | ||
| It probably cost a grip of money to film high-speed video footage of some Japanese hornets fucking up some honeybees. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But just do me a favor. | ||
| Just Google Japanese hornets fuck up honeybees and check it out because it's amazing. | ||
| They're monsters. | ||
| They cut their heads off. | ||
| They just cut the honeybees' heads off. | ||
| And I think it was like 30 bees killed 30,000 bees, or 30 hornets killed 30,000 bees, something nutty like that. | ||
| That's like a serious war. | ||
| But it's not a war. | ||
| It's like you with a hatchet in a room full of babies. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| No one's fighting back. | ||
| I mean, they can't do anything. | ||
| They just chop their heads off. | ||
| It's like the Iraq war. | ||
| Something along those lines. | ||
| The only way they can kill them is they have to overheat them. | ||
| So what they do is they all swarm on top of them. | ||
| They hold the hornet down and they keep buzzing. | ||
| They buzz on him and raise his internal temperature until he dies. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the only way they can kill him. | ||
| They can't kill him by stinging him. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| They can't get through their fucking armor. | ||
| They just turn the heat up until they die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| They smother them. | ||
| They fucking torture them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's the only way to do it. | ||
| What else would you do? | ||
| Just trying to eat your babies. | ||
| Chop their heads off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| It's crazy that these invasions are happening on such a small level. | ||
| You think bees are like dumb bee just flying around making honey, and meanwhile they're like, here's the plan. | ||
| We're going in, and we're going to heat the fucking place up until everyone dies. | ||
| Well, no, the bees do that to the hornets, but what they do is say one hornet will be a scout hornet, and the scout hornet will show up, and when the scout hornet shows up, that's when the bees swarm it. | ||
| The bees swarm it and hold it down and try to kill it. | ||
| Because if they don't kill it, if it gets back to the hornet's nest and goes, yo, I found some bees, that's when shit gets crazy. | ||
| That's when they fly back and fuck everybody up. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, that world, the hornet bee, I think of them as sort of the same sort of category, these flying bugs that sting. | ||
| That world is unbelievably ruthless. | ||
| First of all, the fact that their stingers kill them, too. | ||
| When they sting a person or something, it pulls out of their body. | ||
| It's this giant sword that pulls out of their body, and they die. | ||
| That happens when they have sex. | ||
| That happens when they sting. | ||
| Yeah, they only live to be like a week old, like if they're lucky. | ||
| And if they sting you, they die. | ||
| And then on top of that, like the female can sting all the time. | ||
| Like the queen, she doesn't have to worry about her barb coming out. | ||
| She can just sting all day long. | ||
| But all she does is seek out other females. | ||
| So she walks around the hive and smells each individual little honeycomb and those little combs where the bees grow up in. | ||
| That's not a honeycomb. | ||
| What are those things? | ||
| It's not a comb. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever those little pods where the larvae are growing. | ||
| If she finds that it's a female, she uses her fucking stinger and stabs the baby. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's what it's for. | ||
| No other women. | ||
| There could be only one. | ||
| She's Highlander. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She walks around and stabs all the females. | ||
| And then fucks all the dudes to death. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Fucks them to death. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That bitch is gangster as fuck. | ||
| That's a gangster bitch. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That might be the most gangster bitch of the animal kingdom. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, probably. | ||
| She's got a sword on her pussy. | ||
| Because how many other, like... | ||
| Praying mantis. | ||
| Or black widows, I guess, right? | ||
| Okay, here's a good question. | ||
| Who would win in a fight? | ||
| A praying mantis or a wasp? | ||
| Praying mantis. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm going to go with the wasp. | ||
| Wasp versus praying mantis. | ||
| I'd say praying mantis. | ||
| Female praying mantis decapitates her, like fucks the dude, and then... | ||
| Yeah, but those guys are bitches. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Praying mantis versus wasp. | ||
| Okay, there's a video. | ||
| It wouldn't be able to probably reach around, like if the wasp was like, I'm going to stab you in the back, the praying mantis probably couldn't get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But maybe they have like hard skeletons that they can't be pierced by bees. | ||
| I'm going to go praying mantis. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Is that your bird? | ||
| Yeah, I'm watching this praying mantis. | ||
| Okay, the amazing thing is if only the wasp knew how vulnerable the praying mantis is, could in numbers easily sting it to death, but it doesn't. | ||
| The answer lies in the camouflage strategy of the mantis, and now the wasp usually visualizes the mantis among the foliage. | ||
| The mantis is not seen as a threat to the wasp. | ||
| Large female praying mantis. | ||
| Almost ready to produce her egg case. | ||
| Needs one last meal. | ||
| It's a European wasp. | ||
| It says the bullies of the insect world. | ||
| Insect mimicry. | ||
| So I guess that's the answer there. | ||
| Fucking praying mantis. | ||
| Here's a giant hornet versus a praying mantis. | ||
| Oh, whoa. | ||
| Dude, this praying mantis fucked this wasp up. | ||
| Quick. | ||
| The wasp is walking around. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| I wish we could show it and not get pulled off of YouTube. | ||
| Whatever happens to those when we get pulled off of those, Jamie? | ||
| Do we get back on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes and no. | |
| Yes and no. | ||
| This is worth watching, dude. | ||
| Look at this one. | ||
| Yeah, that's the one I'm watching. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I'm doing it small in the corner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think we could make it away with that. | |
| Well, praying mantises are gangster. | ||
| They fuck wasps. | ||
| The wasps don't have a chance. | ||
| He just holds them and starts eating them. | ||
| That's what's really crazy. | ||
| They're so strong, they just eat the wasps back. | ||
| Just hang on and eat them. | ||
| Yeah, that's a fucking vicious, vicious animal. | ||
| The world of those creatures is just so evil and alien. | ||
| We just don't think about it because they're so small. | ||
| On their level, it's like ruthless people, not people, but the other animals, they run scared. | ||
| But for us, it's like a pair of vans can just take them both out at once. | ||
| Yeah, these other bees are swimming or flying around. | ||
| This praying man is not sure how to save their friend, but they don't know what to do. | ||
| While this wasp is getting just eaten alive. | ||
| Just eating the back of his head. | ||
| It's horrific, man. | ||
| He's just holding on to it and just eating it. | ||
| We're looking at it in this tiny scale so it doesn't seem that horrific. | ||
| But if a praying mantis was the size of a giraffe, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And we saw it chase after a hippo and jack it. | ||
| It was fucking up this hippo in front of all the other hippos and there wasn't a goddamn thing they could do about it. | ||
| They just had to sit there and just deal with the fact that this huge mechanized looking beast taking chunks out of the hippo's head. | ||
| And they're like, oh fuck, do we go over there and save him? | ||
| What do we do? | ||
| That's why size in the animal kingdom is so relevant. | ||
| Because when you get really low, wow, there's a praying man that just jacked that bee. | ||
| They don't play games, man. | ||
| They don't play games. | ||
| They're so strong. | ||
| They just hold onto the bee and start eating them. | ||
| Is that his death rattle? | ||
| No, he's just trying to fly away. | ||
| He's trying to fly away. | ||
| Look how much stronger those things are. | ||
| That's like... | ||
| He plants his legs? | ||
| John Jones versus Bobby Lee. | ||
| That's what that's like. | ||
| That's what that's like. | ||
| That's what kind of a battle that is. | ||
| Just holds him. | ||
| It doesn't matter what he does. | ||
| You're not going anywhere. | ||
| And this praying mantis is a motherfucker, man. | ||
| Just holds on to him and starts eating. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird world. | ||
| It's just tiny, tiny, tiny so we don't freak. | ||
| But if it was big, it would be way more ruthless than what we're seeing even amongst mammals, like predator mammals. | ||
| When we see a lion take out a gazelle, I guess that's not as creepy to me because they're mammals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If I saw a giant praying mantis take out a gazelle, I'd be way more freaked out. | ||
| He's corn-coving. | ||
| The way they look, it looks more alien. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With their weird bugged-out eyes and their crazy arms and their antennae, some kind of weird internet. | |
| All of it, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, if a praying mantis didn't exist and you got to see this, you'd be like, what? | ||
| If this was a character in a movie. | ||
| You're like, what planet is this on? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That easily could be, if it was large, it could be an alien in a movie. | ||
| Like the movie Alien, if that thing was chasing you, that would be just as scary. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Big giant ass fucking crab arms is going to clamp a hold of you. | ||
| They're probably designed after the praying mantis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet. | |
| Some animal like that. | ||
| Yeah, I bet there's probably definitely some influence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because if you think about like bugs, bugs are just like what those aliens were like. | ||
| They were like this emotionless, ruthless thing that just like sort of popped out of the darkness and clamped a hold of you and fucking shot a tongue into your brain and sucked your brain out. | ||
| How is that any different than when we just saw that thing do? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah, you don't see any humanity because the eyes don't look the same. | ||
| You can't identify with it. | ||
| You're like, this is a foreign species and this giant tongue is coming at me to rip my heart out of my chest. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of exactly what it is. | ||
| The difference between when we see a cat eat a gazelle. | ||
| When you see a cat, wow, what is this? | ||
| Praying mantis versus hummingbird. | ||
| No way. | ||
| What happens? | ||
| There's just three of them. | ||
| Well, praying mantis does kill hummingbirds, dude. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, so hummingbirds are scared of him. | ||
| There's a video of a hummingbird with a praying mantis in his mouth. | ||
| It's really fucked. | ||
| Or a praying mantis with a hummingbird in his mouth. | ||
| Looks like they jacked him there, right? | ||
| A lot of hummingbirds are super small, too. | ||
| So they attacked him? | ||
| Where did they attack him? | ||
| Right here he is. | ||
| And those things are fucking aliens also. | ||
| Hummingbirds? | ||
| Yeah, they're beautiful. | ||
| Where does he jack them? | ||
| You know the smallest hummingbird is the size of a dime? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I saw one. | ||
| I did a dissection. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, dude, the praying mass wins. | ||
| Holy cow. | ||
| Did it explode? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It's waiting, and the hummingbird gets close, and when the hummingbird goes for the food, it attacks the hummingbird. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| It's like playing dead. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Swap. | ||
| Oh, look at his... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bam! | |
| Took him down. | ||
| It was a suicide bomber. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's like UFC shit. | ||
| That was insane. | ||
| Yeah, that's how scary those things are. | ||
| That thing was bigger than him. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Fuck praying mantises, dude. | ||
| They need a more threatening name. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Praying mantises, you're like, yeah, because it stands weird. | ||
| And it also kills hummingbirds. | ||
| Well, the prey is P-R-E-Y. It's not like praying mantis. | ||
| I think it is A-Y, right? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Because I think the way they, yeah. | ||
| Oh, it is praying mantis. | ||
| The way they stand, yeah. | ||
| I always thought it was praying. | ||
| Yeah, because of what they do. | ||
| Yeah, it would suck if they spelled it prey and they were just sweeties. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, they don't attack a fucking snake. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| No way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snake. | |
| Yeah, if we get kicked off YouTube, we give the fuck. | ||
| Just fucking play it. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I'm tired of this shit. | ||
| Praying mantises also led the dudes to Bethlehem, if I remember. | ||
| Dude, you're making shit up now. | ||
| No, I think that's real. | ||
| A praying mantis jacks a snake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A corn snake. | |
| About ten inches in length. | ||
| That's about what size my dick, son. | ||
| We'll just keep on pushing it back and forth. | ||
| Confused a little. | ||
| Are you trying to trick the algorithm? | ||
| That ain't gonna work, you fucking silly bitch. | ||
| Yeah, put it negative. | ||
| That shit ain't gonna work! | ||
| What did we just see? | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Turn that back to regular. | ||
| I need to see what his approach was. | ||
| Look, he's upside down! | ||
| He's Spider-man-ing it. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| He's upside down. | ||
| And he reached down and snatched a snake. | ||
| They're so evil, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Incredibly. | |
| The snake is incapable of freeing itself from the grip of this six-inch mantis. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It is in danger of being eaten alive by the insect. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's just eating it. | ||
| Upside down. | ||
| Look at that poor snake, too. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Nobody eats me. | ||
| I'm a snake, man. | ||
| You're supposed to be a leaf, I thought. | ||
| He was insane. | ||
| It's amazing how much stronger insects are. | ||
| Aw, you pussy. | ||
| No jujitsu. | ||
| Bad position. | ||
| But what we didn't hear is the praying mantis go, like, go tell your friends. | ||
| I'm letting you live. | ||
| Yeah, go tell your friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let them know. | |
| I'm in town. | ||
| Praying mantis versus tarantula? | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Praying mantis are motherfuckers. | ||
| They're just showing off at this point. | ||
| The next one's like, praying mantis versus teenage boy. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| No! | ||
| Praying Manus vs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Baby. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Praying Manus vs. | ||
| Kitten. | ||
| I bet that's out there. | ||
| Oh, that would be great. | ||
| I bet it's out there. | ||
| Is it out there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Shit. | ||
| Versus Kitten. | ||
| I gotta watch that. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| So the idea is that its hands are out like it's praying. | ||
| Like it's like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Praying Manus vs. | ||
| Tarantula. | ||
| Jack to Tarantula. | ||
| It's saying, please come fuck with me, I dare you. | ||
| It's just holding on to the tarantula. | ||
| I think once it gets those clamps on you, all those bugs are fucked. | ||
| They can't do shit about it once you get those clamps. | ||
| That's weird, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| Is that cat one bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| This is crazy how strong that thing is. | ||
| Yeah, cats are evil. | ||
| Look, it just holds on. | ||
| Look, it just hooked that fucking praying mantis' head. | ||
| Or that tarantula's head. | ||
| And the tarantula's like, let me go, bitch! | ||
| It's like, nope. | ||
| It's so much stronger. | ||
| Look, it's just eating it. | ||
| Biting its legs and shit. | ||
| They're praying for mercy. | ||
| Oh, but the tarantula turns it around! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Oh! | ||
| You got jacked, son! | ||
| It's over. | ||
| He's jacked. | ||
| Look, he's upside down, writhing in pain. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Oh, is that the end? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Who shot the video up there? | ||
| That guy's an asshole. | ||
| Who got bored at that point? | ||
| That's like the height. | ||
| Is this a part one of a ten-part trilogy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Two hours later. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Can you look up what the praying mantis is afraid of? | ||
| Like who preys on the praying mantis? | ||
| Pull up praying mantis versus kitten. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Don't worry. | ||
| Don't worry. | ||
| The kitten's fine. | ||
| I gotta see that. | ||
| But it's wild to see, man. | ||
| It's wild to see. | ||
| You see how gangster a praying mantis really is. | ||
| That's how you see how gangster they are. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This one. | ||
| This one here. | ||
| Praying Mantis. | ||
| Boxing Praying Mantis versus Kitten. | ||
| Sorry, this one. | ||
| Boxing. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta see this. | ||
| This is so ridiculous. | ||
| Like, they're going to war. | ||
| The Kitten and the Praying Mantis are fucking throwing down to the death. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this fucking Praying Mantis. | ||
| He's not scared of shit. | ||
| That Kitten fucks him up. | ||
| Bitch, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch! | |
| Swat! | ||
| Swat! | ||
| But look at him. | ||
| He's still up. | ||
| Still swinging at the Kitten. | ||
| The Kitten doesn't know when to bite him. | ||
| He's scared to bite him. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| It's fucking him up, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pop, pop, pop, pop. | |
| Look how tough a praying man is. | ||
| It takes a blow to the head by something way bigger than it. | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
| Speaking voodoo. | ||
| Okay, don't do that, Brian. | ||
| You ruined the performance. | ||
| This cat's doing a great job. | ||
| Praying man is all fucked up. | ||
| You got a standing eight count. | ||
| Cat goes right back to him. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Body slam. | ||
| We can jump. | ||
| That wasn't a jump. | ||
| That cat bit him in the head. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's still fighting back, though. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And the cat is obviously scared of him a little bit. | ||
| Because he's so fast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Another bite. | ||
| You're fucked up, son. | ||
| I didn't know they had, like, wings like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| What a creepy-ass alien bug. | ||
| One millionth the size of that cat. | ||
| It's still fighting back. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| How many praying mantises in body weight? | ||
| How many praying mantises does it take to equal that cat? | ||
| That cat's about 10 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Praying mantises about 2 ounces. | ||
| So 16 ounces is a pound. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's a lot bigger. | |
| That's the mathematical equation. | ||
| Okay, he just jacked it. | ||
| He just jacked it. | ||
| It's down now. | ||
| He must have bit it in the head. | ||
| Now he's like, what, bitch? | ||
| It's on his back again. | ||
| What, bitch? | ||
| What, bitch? | ||
| What's up, bitch? | ||
| What's up, bitch? | ||
| That's why you're in your head, bitch. | ||
| The praying mantis is still trying to fight back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I want the camera to widen out and there's just a circle of Filipino dudes betting money on the whole thing. | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's a good thing to bet on. | ||
| How long a praying mantis lasts with a cat. | ||
| I had no idea until this podcast how gangster praying mantises were. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I want to know who preys on the praying mantis. | ||
| Who's their predator? | ||
| Their direct predator. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Predator to the praying mantis. | ||
| Here's a mouse versus a fucking praying mantis. | ||
| It's gotta be some kind of bird that's like tougher than a hummingbird. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are the enemies of a praying mantis? | ||
| Okay, let's find out. | ||
| Check this out real quick because I don't want to show too much of this video because it's... | ||
| Oh, we jacked a mouse. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| It's fucking crazy, these guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Show that again, dude. | ||
| Show that again. | ||
| I don't care if they pull us off of YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need to see this. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this mouse. | ||
| It doesn't move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Bitch! | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the scenario is a friend who needs that. | |
| It's an odd sight to watch an insect devouring a mammal. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| That's the most gangster insect in the insect world. | ||
| Period. | ||
| It's gotta be, yeah. | ||
| It's gotta be. | ||
| I mean, it doesn't have any venom. | ||
| It's doing all this shit with no venom. | ||
| It's just, yeah, it's got like those big praying man in his hands or whatever it's called. | ||
| It's essentially just doing jujitsu and eating it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It just does jujitsu and then just starts eating. | ||
| He holds him in side control and just eats the shit out of him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's weird because the one that was on my patio, it was right next to where I was sitting the whole day. | ||
| Did he swing at you? | ||
| No, it just stared at me. | ||
| His head would look like when my girlfriend came outside, he would look over at my girlfriend and then look back at me. | ||
| But I would walk next to it. | ||
| It never flew away. | ||
| It never moved. | ||
| The dog started... | ||
| It's trying to sniff it, and it kind of looked down at it like, get away from me. | ||
| It was probably wondering if it could eat you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was probably looking at you and going, fuck, he's too big. | ||
| Later, it's like boxing an oak tree or something like that, like working out. | ||
| It was like, I think he's vulnerable. | ||
| I feel like I could get him, but he's not quite big enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| They're getting into modeling now? | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| They're modeling now? | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| They're breaking into entertainment? | ||
| That's dance. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Progressive dance. | ||
| Put that picture up again, man. | ||
| The next one's going to be like... | ||
| Look at the body on that thing. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| What a strange animal. | ||
| And how horrific would that be if that thing was horse-sized and was chasing after you? | ||
| That's it going like, now what, bitch? | ||
| Like there's something on the ground. | ||
| Fucking mouse. | ||
| Do you imagine the physical strength of one of those things if it was like the size of a horse? | ||
| Oh yeah, dude. | ||
| They'd be tearing apart cars. | ||
| Here's the one that was at my house. | ||
| Like, I'm going to hide in my car. | ||
| No. | ||
| And they'd just rip the... | ||
| Pry that car open easy. | ||
| That was yours? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at them, man. | ||
| Evil fucking bug. | ||
| They're such a crazy... | ||
| We're just so lucky that they're little. | ||
| They're like the bugs from Starship Troopers, right? | ||
| Yeah, kind of. | ||
| That's like the best analogy. | ||
| Or the best comparison. | ||
| They do look like them. | ||
| They had to have been modeled directly after them. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure, right? | ||
| Those Starship Trooper bugs are fucking awesome. | ||
| That was a silly movie, but... | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Brando before and after his role in Godfather before makeup and after makeup. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's amazing. | ||
| Oh, so they made him look older. | ||
| I didn't know they did that. | ||
| He almost looked like a George Clooney-Brad Pitt combo right here. | ||
| Oh, he was a handsome man when he was young. | ||
| What does that have anything to do with what we're doing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're talking about... | ||
| You goddamn conversation killing... | ||
| We're talking about a green bug that destroys... | ||
| Well, that Starship Troopers movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's very realistic in terms of if there was an invasion by bugs, we would be getting killed. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If there was bugs like that... | ||
| Do we even have... | ||
| Like, what kind of guns would it take to shoot down a giant praying mantis? | ||
| You'd have to have some fucking serious firepower. | ||
| Like, a regular rifle's not gonna do it. | ||
| Like, if you shot a shotgun in a praying mantis, the shit would probably ricochet right off of it. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I wonder if their armor's in paneling. | ||
| I don't know if it's like an armadillo just straight through, but they seem like Batman has panels that we can move around. | ||
| It seems like that's what they're like. | ||
| Well, I bet they grow shit back, too. | ||
| I bet they're like lobsters and a lot of other bugs. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| When they snap off a wing or something like that, they just grow it back. | ||
| You took this photo. | ||
| Oh yeah, that was the praying mantis that was in my yard. | ||
| Yours is like brown. | ||
| That one was like on vacation. | ||
| Well, I think he was being camouflaged. | ||
| Oh, they can change color? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Okay, can Mantis camouflage? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That'd be cool. | ||
| Yep, they can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I had no idea. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Defense and camouflage. | ||
| Yeah, so that's what that thing was doing. | ||
| So that's what that thing was doing in my yard. | ||
| If you look at it, it's on that stone ball, which is the top of a fountain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it blended in to the exact same color as the ball. | ||
| Wow, that is so cool. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Pretty weird. | ||
| Praying mantis can camouflage perfectly into an environment of sticks, barks, leaves, and flowers. | ||
| The mantis is almost four inches long. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| The most evil-looking one would be a red one. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| With it camouflaged onto, like, you know, something red. | ||
| It can be... | ||
| With those, like, crazy eyes. | ||
| They can be green, brown, or a combination of colors to match their environment. | ||
| It will molt every few weeks and then can take on the colors of its natural surroundings. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| A praying mantis might even mimic the charred remains of sticks, weeds, or grass after a fire. | ||
| That it started. | ||
| With its dick. | ||
| Swaying repetitively from side to side is a common calicoage behavior of the praying mantis. | ||
| It might be used to mimic the swaying movement of vegetation in the wind. | ||
| Remember this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| What was that? | ||
| This is a video you posted about the... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was this gangster praying mantis at the commons. | ||
| Wait a minute, what's this? | ||
| This is the parasite. | ||
| Guy kills a zombie praying man and it's revealing a huge parasite living inside of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| This is not what I'm talking about. | ||
| I thought this was something else. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| He killed it and there's something inside of it. | ||
| Look at that parasite just coming out of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| It's like a snake inside of it. | ||
| Yeah, that's essentially like that movie The Strain. | ||
| Back that up so we can see that whole thing pop out. | ||
| Ew, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Welcome to the world of bugs. | ||
| That's what this episode is. | ||
| Nick Youssef is hilarious and the world of bugs. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Also buy my new album. | ||
| Yeah, also buy his new album. | ||
| And don't think about this black dick coming out of this dead praying mantis. | ||
| So when the body died, the parasite left it and just weaseled out. | ||
| Wow, that is so fucked. | ||
| Look how big that thing is, man. | ||
| It just keeps going. | ||
| Well, it doesn't know what to do either. | ||
| Yeah, it's so big. | ||
| How was that inside of it? | ||
| God, it's the entire body of the thing. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| And the mantis didn't look like it was fat or anything. | ||
| And that spray that's on the ground, that's the poison, right? | ||
| So it's rolling around in the poison? | ||
| It's still going. | ||
| So that parasite controlled the... | ||
| Like a zombie, he controlled the... | ||
| The mantis. | ||
| Well, there's an aquatic worm, I don't know if that's the same one, that it gets inside of a grasshopper, and when it's about to be born, when it reaches the right size, it actually takes over the mind of the grasshopper and gets the grasshopper to commit suicide. | ||
| So it hot wires. | ||
| Look at that thing man. | ||
| It looks like a snake. | ||
| Totally looks like a snake. | ||
| I would not swallow that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You would for like a lot of money though, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| No way! | ||
| How much do you have to get paid to swallow that? | ||
| Imagine how big it would grow inside of you. | ||
| Like a human? | ||
| Look at the size of it when that guy grabbed it and touched it. | ||
| That is some alien invasion type shit there. | ||
| That's what that is. | ||
| And what if there's a parasite living in that parasite? | ||
| Dude, you're blowing my mind, man! | ||
| It's getting too crazy. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| I'm wondering. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Like, there's parasites like that that live in humans. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They just grow in your intestines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's bizarre. | ||
| From live sushi. | ||
| Yeah, people get it from freshwater sushi. | ||
| They say that you shouldn't really be chewing down too much salmon sushi. | ||
| That's where you can catch it. | ||
| Like, freshwater stuff that lives in freshwater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| This is creepy. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Look at that face. | ||
| Look at those eyes. | ||
| It looks like digital. | ||
| That's the last thing that mouse saw. | ||
| Jesus Christ, what an evil bug a praying mantis is. | ||
| The mouse is like, hi guys. | ||
| That thing was clamping down on your face the size of a giraffe. | ||
| This guy has a third eye. | ||
| It's funny, it looks like a lot of models. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Like, when it was a model, it really does. | ||
| A lot of models look like aliens. | ||
| Is that an eyeball? | ||
| Third eye. | ||
| Is that what it is, or is it just like a... | ||
| Dude, it's even spiritual? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's totally spiritual, I'm 42. And look at these antennas, like gold-plated antennas. | |
| They're dope as fuck, yo. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That is pretty cool. | ||
| It's like braided. | ||
| It's Persian. | ||
| Don't tell Maz Jobani that joke. | ||
| Bro, that's so racist. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Why does it have to be Persian? | ||
| Why can't it be Mexican? | ||
| Because go to Studio City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why. | |
| Go walk around there. | ||
| That didn't even look real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you see them on a large scale, you get a sense of what it really is. | ||
| When you see those fuckers, it's not trying to kill a frog. | ||
| No, it's just hanging out on top of a frog. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They're like buddies. | ||
| It's like, I need a ride. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Those things are amazing. | ||
| Actually, there's a lot of pictures of frogs and them being friends. | ||
| That is a gangster bug, but I kind of like that the tarantula jacked it. | ||
| Because that was a battle to the death, and tarantula won. | ||
| Tarantula will reverse position and sunk those teeth in there. | ||
| I wonder if in nature, though, who would have won. | ||
| Because it's camouflaged. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because that was in a kitchen. | ||
| Yeah, it looked like they set that fight up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Before they turned on the camera, they broke one of the manis' legs and were like, alright, go. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if the praying mantis would go after something as big as a tarantula in the wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It seems like they're just so evil to go after anything that's in front of them. | ||
| The fucking things are attacking birds. | ||
| I know, and mice. | ||
| And mice. | ||
| And they win. | ||
| And a fucking cat? | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| They go after cats. | ||
| Like, every animal has another animal they run from, where they go, whoa, shit, all right, I'm out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought we owned this area. | ||
| That praying mantis didn't even try to fly away. | ||
| It has wings, right? | ||
| They have wings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's like, nah, I'll just fucking take my chances here to get out. | ||
| Come on, cat. | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come get some of this. | ||
| Come get some of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stab your fucking stupid nose. | |
| Just duking it out with this praying mantis on the sidewalk. | ||
| Dude, that's crazy. | ||
| Seriously, that's like you fighting a house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like you fighting a giant elephant. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like a semi-truck. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| You're smaller than... | ||
| You're bigger in comparison than you would be... | ||
| You know, if you were fighting an elephant, then that thing is to that cat. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Wait till you see... | ||
| Do you see the mantis? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's like tucked away in there. | ||
| Like a flower. | ||
| What an evil fuck. | ||
| He's pretending to be a flower. | ||
| What a creepy ass fucking bug. | ||
| He looks exactly like the color of the flower. | ||
| Totally blended in. | ||
| And to hide is something beautiful, too. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That's what they say about the devil. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| And look at this fly. | ||
| Like, oh, you know, just hanging out. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Bitch! | ||
| Look how quick it did that. | ||
| You can't even see it. | ||
| Oh, and just eat your face. | ||
| Eat him live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, back that shit up so we can watch that one more time. | ||
| What a bizarre animal. | ||
| You really can't tell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brilliant. | |
| Look how brilliant it is. | ||
| It looks so much... | ||
| I mean, even the highlights. | ||
| The pink highlights like a flower. | ||
| Oh, bitch, that's so fast. | ||
| That was so fast. | ||
| You can't see shit. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's pretty. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| That's like the most beautiful image. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Murder. | |
| Yeah, the most beautiful video of something killing something ever. | ||
| I know. | ||
| The color is like the white with the blue. | ||
| Oh, my God, look at that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's incredible. | ||
| That is incredible. | ||
| It's like we're looking at this image from the rogue and evil. | ||
| Yeah, it's gorgeous. | ||
| To take shape as like one of the most beautiful images. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like who doesn't like a flower? | ||
| And they did it perfect. | ||
| Like with perfect highlights. | ||
| Like I would have never thought, like if you showed me a photo of that and I didn't watch the video, I've never thought there was a praying mantis in there. | ||
| I would have bet you a lot of money. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| There's a praying mantis in there. | ||
| None. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's a flower. | ||
| You fucking idiot. | ||
| You don't even know what a mantis looks like. | ||
| Come on, you want to bet? | ||
| Where would it fit in that flower? | ||
| Don't be retarded. | ||
| You really think it can look that... | ||
| No, it looked exactly like it. | ||
| You know what that means? | ||
| If they were the size of humans, they'd be taking the shape of cheeseburgers and all kinds of stuff. | ||
| They would look like the guys from Duck Dynasty. | ||
| They'd be wearing camo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| I'm walking here. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's so weird. | ||
| That's so weird that that's a real thing. | ||
| Why can't people do that? | ||
| We're lucky people can't do that. | ||
| They would be eating people the way the mantis is eating flies. | ||
| They just can't. | ||
| Just camouflage. | ||
| Yeah, that would not be good. | ||
| People would be hiding. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Hiding in your bushes and shit. | ||
| There's like six people in here. | ||
| People would be blaming you. | ||
| Like that character on X-Men. | ||
| Mystique. | ||
| Yeah, Mystique. | ||
| How come they have a new Mystique and they didn't even bring that up, by the way? | ||
| How'd they go from Rebecca Romaine Stamos? | ||
| Age? | ||
| She got too old? | ||
| Oh, because it's like a prequel. | ||
| Yeah, doesn't matter. | ||
| It's a different person. | ||
| Don't they have CGI? They can turn one guy, you know, they can turn people into the Hulk, and you tell me you can't CGI that chick to look exactly like Rebecca Romaine Stamos? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That evil fucking thing. | ||
| What's it eating there? | ||
| Ice cream. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| Looks like some sort of a bug. | ||
| It's pulling a pin off a grenade. | ||
| It's eating a turkey leg. | ||
| He's at the Renaissance. | ||
| Renaissance fair. | ||
| Renaissance fair bug. | ||
| I think the bug world is the creepiest world in all of nature. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Second only to the fish world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The fish world's pretty creepy. | ||
| Bugs just look so creepy, and they're able to, like, they have multiple hands, tentacles, all these things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And fish, because you know, you're like, well, if it's out of the water, it's over. | ||
| But a bug can just get in your bed, sneak in your house. | ||
| What's the world's largest bug? | ||
| That was a good question. | ||
| If you had to guess, who would you say the world's largest bug is? | ||
| The iPhone. | ||
| Mwah, you fucking baby. | ||
| World's largest bug. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| It's probably like some kind of cockroach. | ||
| I'll say beetle. | ||
| Yeah, that beetle. | ||
| That half-life thing. | ||
| Oh my god, it's enormous. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Does it look like a pill bug? | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| This is a gross animal. | ||
| Look up, the world's biggest insect is so huge it eats carrots. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's so huge it eats carrots. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's a great sound. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| It's a giant weta? | ||
| W-E-T-A? Came across a cricket-like creature which has a wingspan of seven inches after two days of searching on a tiny island, Lake Barrier Island in New Zealand. | ||
| It only lives there. | ||
| It was wiped off the mainland by rats accidentally introduced by Europeans. | ||
| Pull that picture up again, man. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| It's like a big grasshopper. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that thing's gross. | ||
| Gross. | ||
| It's like a crab or like a lobster or something, which are related, by the way. | ||
| See, I was thinking it was going to be something like this, which was like a pill bug, I thought. | ||
| That's pretty big, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a Madagascar hissing cockroach, isn't it? | ||
| I think that's what that is. | ||
| They get pretty big. | ||
| Didn't you eat one of those? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I ate one of those. | ||
| Not that bad. | ||
| See, this is what I thought it was. | ||
| Like one of these things. | ||
| Oh, yeah, those creepy things. | ||
| They look like cephalopods or something like that. | ||
| Is that what those are called? | ||
| Like land otters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, those things have been around for a long time. | ||
| Bad eating happens. | ||
| They live on Doritos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They hate Cool Ranch. | ||
| It's the stoner variety. | ||
| What's the technical name for those things? | ||
| Does it say in that image? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lossopod? | |
| Lossopod? | ||
| Lossopod. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Isopod? | ||
| Isopod. | ||
| Isopod. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It's a lobster. | ||
| It's like a land lobster. | ||
| That's bigger, obviously. | ||
| So that must be the biggest. | ||
| But that has more than... | ||
| Isn't eight legs or more considered an arachnid? | ||
| Insect. | ||
| Insect is six? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Is that how it works? | ||
| Insect being six? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Like arachnid is spider. | ||
|
unidentified
|
By the way, this is Nick Yusuf's new CD. What is it called? | |
| Oh yeah, I forgot about my own album. | ||
| It's called Stop Not Owning This. | ||
| Oh, that's a smart way to market it. | ||
| Yeah, really, Stop Not Owning It, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| iTunes and allthingscomedy.com. | ||
| Please purchase it. | ||
| It's my first album, and I'm very proud of it. | ||
| Nick Yusuf, old school comedy store veteran. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Dude, you go back. | ||
| I know you from... | ||
| When did I meet you? | ||
| Probably met you in like... | ||
| Parking lot of the comedy store in 2008. Two, three? | ||
| You used to work there. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You did the whole stint, like Ari, like a lot of guys. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's how I met Ari. | ||
| Duncan. | ||
| I worked the phones. | ||
| He was the talent coordinator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Duncan did the full stint. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| That's a good stint for comics. | ||
| That's the one place where a comic can get a job, like doing comedy, being surrounded by degenerates on a constant basis, and eventually become a professional comedian to have his own comedy CD. Exactly, yeah. | ||
| I love those stories, man. | ||
| I love watching guys come up in LA. That was one of the few places where you'd see guys come up. | ||
| Joey Diaz is starting to do the Comedy Store again. | ||
| I love that, man. | ||
| This is a strange dilemma. | ||
| Since Tommy has decided to... | ||
| Part ways with the comedy story. | ||
| Move on to the next stage of existence. | ||
| We did a great Ice House Chronicles Friday, by the way. | ||
| I heard. | ||
| I mean, Tammy Pascatelli, Hannibal Behrs, I mean, everybody came in because everyone wanted to talk about it. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| Everybody wanted to talk about how ridiculous Tommy was? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a great episode. | ||
| Did anyone defend him? | ||
| You know, everyone kind of somewhat defended him as being, you know, like this mysterious person and it's probably going to be the end of that part of the comedy store where it's like, ooh, it's haunted and oh, Mitzi. | ||
| But I think, you know, I showed a couple of the videos that I made and I think that kind of silenced everyone. | ||
| Like, yeah, he was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, here's the deal, though. | ||
| To take that job and to try to keep up the legacy of that famed institution of insanity, you've got to be a little crazy. | ||
| Nobody else wants that job. | ||
| Nobody else would have done that job. | ||
| They would have turned it into some sort of a corporate whatever, you know, fill-in-the-blank sugar shack. | ||
| The sunset chuckle hut. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I mean, it could have easily been something that it isn't. | ||
| What it is is a very, very bizarre place. | ||
| Like, as far as comedy clubs go, one of the most bizarre places of all time, and one of the most historical comedy clubs ever in the world. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| As far as the art of stand-up comedy, how many historical comedy clubs rival the Comedy Store? | ||
| Very few, because it's in the same location. | ||
| You know, you have, like, a few other ones, like the Ice House that's older. | ||
| You have the Comedy Magic Club, which is older, the Laugh Factory, which has a lot of historical significance, but... | ||
| Laugh Factory is not the same. | ||
| The Laugh Factory is not just... | ||
| It's a good club. | ||
| It's a great club to work at. | ||
| But as far as a place where when you're there, you're like, holy shit, I'm at the goddamn comedy store. | ||
| That was the mecca. | ||
| Because the store produced comics. | ||
| It was where the Ice House and the other ones just had them come through. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, the store is one of the only places that produce comics, all because of Mitzi. | ||
| You know, that lady, she helped a lot of comedians, me included. | ||
| She helped a lot of comedians. | ||
| I think if they just keep the open mics as strong as it is there, I mean, like Sundays and Mondays there, you know, they have a really good open mic program. | ||
| Kill Tony on top of that is, you know, really good for the open mics. | ||
| I think you'll still be able to make new comics there, and it will still be a good place for comics to start. | ||
| Hiring comics as employees, letting them kind of graduate through the system. | ||
| Yeah, and now that, you know, you've removed some of the crazy aspect as far as, like, the real negative crazy... | ||
| There was just too much ego and madness and just too much intolerable madness is the best way to describe it. | ||
| You're not dealing with rational people. | ||
| You're dealing with someone who's intolerably crazy. | ||
| And it's not that the whole intolerable crew is removed. | ||
| There's still some intolerable behind the scenes folks. | ||
| But it's way better now. | ||
| It's at least gotten 50% better. | ||
| And that other group, you never see ever, ever, ever there. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you could also go online and see when they're out of town. | ||
| Yeah, but that makes you seem like a stalker. | ||
| You know, I love the improv, man. | ||
| I did one thing that changed my act quite a bit is when I left the store and I started doing the improv. | ||
| I found audiences that aren't heckling. | ||
| They're not constantly heckling. | ||
| They actually have crowd control. | ||
| And then I also noticed that they have two shows at night. | ||
| They do an 8 o'clock show and a 10 o'clock show, which is way better for the audience's attention span. | ||
| And it made me realize the comedy store is lifting weights with a weight vest on running up a hill. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you get through that place, the great thing about that is you go anywhere else and you're fucking golden. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The regular audiences will be so much easier than the audiences that you deal with on a weekly basis at the store. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Going up after 12 comics, five, six of them are just crushing. | ||
| The crowd's drunk. | ||
| They've been there for three hours. | ||
| And if anything topical happens, by the time you get up on stage, it's been discussed 50 fucking times. | ||
| There was one time when Ari was working there, and the Chinese fighter pilot crashed with an American fighter jet, and the guy's name was Wong Wei. | ||
| That was his name. | ||
| W-O-N-G-W-E-I. Everybody did a joke on it. | ||
| Nobody saw anybody else's set, but everybody came in and did a Wong Wei. | ||
| Is this real life? | ||
| Wong Wei. | ||
| Do you know what the guy's name was? | ||
| Wong Wei. | ||
| And at a certain point in time, the audience is like, are we being trolled? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this like an inside joke? | |
| Do they not know that everybody before them has done a Wong Wei joke? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Even crowd work sometimes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If you go up, like, where are you from? | ||
| And someone else will answer it. | ||
| He's from Lancaster. | ||
| How the fuck did you know? | ||
| Because he's been asked 10 times. | ||
| I love the fact that this happened because it seems like a lot of comics are coming back to this place that didn't really want to come here. | ||
| By the way, Tosh wanted to apologize for shaking your hand weird last time you saw him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Daniel? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| But it was cool seeing Tosh and seeing... | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, he said, tell Rogan I'm sorry about how I shook your hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is he talking about? | |
| He's an interesting guy. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| He didn't shake my hand weird at all. | ||
| I don't know what he's talking about. | ||
| He told me to say that too. | ||
| Comics are super sensitive, man. | ||
| Comics are super sensitive. | ||
| There's weird shit that'll stick in a comic's head. | ||
| And then they'll bring it up like, you know, there was this time where, you know, I said this thing and I probably shouldn't have said it. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Like, I don't even know what the fuck you said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, oh, I made a joke about something. | ||
| I really didn't mean it. | ||
| I'm like, I don't remember it at all. | ||
| So it's like, you're carrying on to that? | ||
| Like, you're holding on to something they said that you might misconstrue as a slight or as a joke that you might not take it well? | ||
| Some comics are like super sensitive. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because you want to be liked and respected, and you're just always worried about saying the wrong thing. | ||
| Because no one knows who you are yet, and you're just like, I want to make friends, make a good first impression. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But a guy like Daniel Tosh, he shouldn't be so sensitive. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Multi-millionaire. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Awesome, beautiful man. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| He's fun to be around, too. | ||
| He's hilarious, too. | ||
| He's like Kander. | ||
| We talked to him about other comedians and shit. | ||
| He was ragging on this one comedian that he's had difficulties with. | ||
| It was goddamn hilarious. | ||
| Brian Callen and I were crying laughing. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| But the improv has guys like that. | ||
| They're there all the time. | ||
| I wonder if guys like that will start showing up at the store now, too. | ||
| Yeah, David Spade was there yesterday. | ||
| Did he do a set? | ||
| Is he doing stand-up again? | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| It was alright. | ||
| He was working on a couple new bits. | ||
| He had notes up there with him. | ||
| But he had some funny stuff about going skiing for the first time. | ||
| He had a story on that. | ||
| The names of all the slopes were these... | ||
| Horrifying, like, evil names. | ||
| Like, Hitler's abortion was one of them. | ||
| Just stuff like that. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| But you could tell he's, like, developing it. | ||
| And it's, like... | ||
| It's interesting to see him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When he would do stand-up live. | ||
| Well, he probably, like, took some time off doing a lot of TV and movies and shit. | ||
| And then a lot of those guys, they lose their chops, man. | ||
| They don't... | ||
| They have, like, a hard struggle to try to get back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, getting back... | ||
| Norm MacDonald's been there a few times. | ||
| Yeah, Norm's been coming there. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love Norm MacDonald. | ||
| If he comes, I'll kidnap him and drag him to this podcast studio. | ||
| I love Norm. | ||
| I'd love to do it, but what time? | ||
| What time does that say? | ||
| He's a character, man. | ||
| He's a character. | ||
| We were on a plane with him once, and all the way on the plane, he's talking about how he quit smoking. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, quit smoking. | ||
| He lands, immediately goes and buys cigarettes. | ||
| Brian, let me buy my cigarette. | ||
| He immediately ran and got a pack of cigarettes and he was outside. | ||
| I guess I'm smoking again. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| But the funniest guys are like that, man. | ||
| They're just nutty. | ||
| They're just nutty. | ||
| That comes with the territory, right? | ||
| So have you been asked a million times if you'll go back to the comedy store? | ||
| At least ten. | ||
| Not a million, but at least ten. | ||
| Do Friday kill Tony? | ||
| No, that's not happening. | ||
| That's not happening. | ||
| But I'm happy. | ||
| I'm happy that the place will get more normal. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| And this will be more relaxed. | ||
| There's just too much insanity there with that guy running shit. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He was... | ||
| You know, I don't hate the guy, but there's just certain levels of intolerable bullshit where you're just like, okay, you're too crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're too crazy to run this. | |
| Matter of time. | ||
| Well, you know, that clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm more talented than anyone here. | |
| I'm the most talented person in this building. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't know how much power and money is behind me. | ||
| The building likes me. | ||
| I'm so happy. | ||
| Someone was saying it would have been great if the way they fired him was they bring him into an office and they go like, well, it's not just that, Tommy. | ||
| They start with that and then they fire him. | ||
| It's just not that. | ||
| Then he goes, no, it's not that. | ||
| It is just that this time. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| How much touring are you doing? | ||
| Not as much as I'd like, but I'm going to Chicago with Ari at the end of August. | ||
| Oh shit, oh shit. | ||
| Where are you guys going? | ||
| Zany's downtown. | ||
| That's a good spot. | ||
| Yeah, we're doing one night and we're going to hang out in the city for a couple days. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| I open for Bobby still, which is good. | ||
| Bobby Lee? | ||
| Bobby Lee, yeah. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Yeah, he really is. | ||
| He's one of those guys that is good to younger people. | ||
| A lot of guys get to the top or wherever and then they either quit stand-up or they don't have any time for newer guys and stuff. | ||
| But he's always been super cool. | ||
| Yeah, he got shit on a little bit when he was coming up, you know? | ||
| So I think because of that, you know, he had a bunch of issues with guys that he was working with that either didn't pay him or fucked with him. | ||
| So he's super nice to people that are coming up now. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty great. | ||
| He takes care of comics and he gives way new comics that are like, oh, I'd like to open for you on a local thing. | ||
| And he'll let him have a few minutes just because he knows, he remembers what that was like, doing not an open mic of any kind. | ||
| There's going to be 80 people there, like 200. And he's like, because it'll be like something local, and he's like, yeah, if I can come down and do five minutes. | ||
| Yeah, camaraderie between comics is one of the coolest things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of the coolest things, because it's one of the things about the store as well, is the store, because everybody, we're all hung out there, like it really fostered that sort of camaraderie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so much fun just in that back parking lot area, just the hilarious conversations that we've had back there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a mad, mad club. | ||
| Are we running out of time? | ||
| Three minutes left? | ||
| Three minutes and we turn it into a pumpkin. | ||
| So everybody go buy Nick Yusuf's new CD. And it is, what is it called? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Stop Not Owning This. | ||
| Stop Not Owning This. | ||
| And is it available on iTunes? | ||
| It is on iTunes and allthingscomedy.com. | ||
| For those of you who hate iTunes, I also get more money if you buy it on allthingscomedy.com. | ||
| But if you're an iTunes guy, totally go there. | ||
| It's on there. | ||
| Rate it and review it. | ||
| I think that helps, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, it'll definitely help. | ||
| And this will help too. | ||
| So Nick Yusef, follow him on Twitter. | ||
| It's Y-O-U-S-S-E-F. That's Y-O-U-S-S-E-F. And Nick is spelled normal. | ||
| N-I-C-K. Nothing crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A cue. | ||
| A cue. | ||
| Well, hey, man. | ||
| Thanks for doing this. | ||
| This was fun, man. | ||
| We've got to do it more often. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Definitely, right? | ||
| We learned so much about praying, man. | ||
| This isn't all such great shit. | ||
| We did. | ||
| I didn't know anything about it. | ||
| This was fun. | ||
| It was actually sort of like work in some way. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think we hijacked the system. | ||
| Nick Yusuf, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Powerful Nick Yusuf. | ||
| Thank you, guys. | ||
| Please go out and buy his shit. | ||
| He's a very funny comedian. | ||
| Thanks to our sponsors. | ||
| Let me pull them up because I don't have it on my thing anymore. | ||
| Squarespace.com. | ||
| Yeah, Squarespace. | ||
| Thanks to Squarespace for just nothing but positive feedback. | ||
| I haven't heard one person say anything bad about Squarespace, which is a beautiful thing. | ||
| And if you go to squarespace.com forward slash Rogan, is that it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Squarespace.com, entering the code word Joe. | ||
| So for a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, go to squarespace.com and enter in the code word Joe. | ||
| And thanks also to... | ||
| Who else do we have today? | ||
| Ting. | ||
| Ting. | ||
| Go to rogan.ting.com and save $25 off of any of these new fantastic cell phone devices that Ting sells. | ||
| That's rogan.ting.com, the official cell phone provider for the Joe Rogan Experience podcast. | ||
| Thanks also to Onnit.com. | ||
| Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Tomorrow, Shooter Jennings, son of the great Waylon Jennings. | ||
| That's right, bitches. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| Until then, much love and big kisses. |
Export Selection