March 26, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:58
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Good googly moogly ladies and gentlemen, huh? | ||
| Come on with your bad self. | ||
| What are you missing out of your life, folks? | ||
| What are you missing out of your life? | ||
| You're missing Lumosity.com. | ||
| Get your fucking brain in order. | ||
| Stop playing Angry Birds. | ||
| Or keep playing Angry Birds. | ||
| Essentially know that you're wasting your time, whereas you could be playing games that are actually good for your dome. | ||
| That's what Lumosity is. | ||
| Lumosity is problem-solving games that are scientifically designed and based on your needs. | ||
| If you go to lumosity.com, they give you a bunch of different options to fill out. | ||
| You click the Get Started Now button. | ||
| You enter in your information. | ||
| And then you start asking it, or it starts asking you, like, what specific things you want to work on? | ||
| Do you want to work on memory? | ||
| Do you want to work on, you know, all sorts of different... | ||
| It's trying to get me to sign in here. | ||
| I don't know why it's trying to do that. | ||
| Lumosity.com forward slash show. | ||
| Why is it doing something weird here that it didn't do before? | ||
| Anyway, scientifically designed to challenge your brain and do it like a game. | ||
| So it makes it fun. | ||
| I enjoy playing the games. | ||
| It only takes a few minutes a day, and over time you can actually track your progress online and compare yourself to others if you're one of those motherfuckers that has to compare yourself to others. | ||
| There was this one guy, I remember this documentary about one of the smartest men in the world, and he worked as a bouncer in a bar in Long Island. | ||
| And I'm like, uh, no you're not. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You're not because you work as a bouncer in a bar and like on. | ||
| You're just not the fucking smartest guy in the world. | ||
| And he was this guy who was rambling on and on. | ||
| He was super verbose and using a lot of big words and going on about, you know, he's the first guy ever that's come the closest to ultimate meaning. | ||
| Do you remember that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Big fat-faced dummy. | ||
| I thought he was very, very convinced. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he got a good number on a Mensa test. | ||
| So he's good at figuring out how to count up numbers. | ||
| Socially, he's a mess. | ||
| Unable to see how goofy he sounds saying he's the smartest man in the world. | ||
| No self-deprecating skills. | ||
| Thinks he's a badass because he's a bouncer at a bar in Long Island. | ||
| And think it's some sort of a Runyon-esque character. | ||
| Just a rebel. | ||
| He's a bouncer, but he's the smartest man in the world. | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| If you were smartest man in the world, you would realize being a bouncer at a fucking bar in Long Island sucks a fat dick. | ||
| And you'd get a better job. | ||
| Dummy! | ||
| That job's dumb. | ||
| I guess I'm going to quit my job as a bouncer now. | ||
| I was a security guard at one point in time. | ||
| I'm not above. | ||
| I'm not above, don't get me wrong, but you can't claim smartest guy in the world and that's where you found yourself, at 40. So shut your hole. | ||
| And go to Lumosity. | ||
| Go to lumosity.com slash joe. | ||
| That's lumosity.com slash joe. | ||
| Click the start training button and then start playing your very first game. | ||
| Lumosity.com slash joe. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| It's a fun way to do things that... | ||
| You know, ordinarily it would feel just like games, but these games actually are scientifically designed through something called neuroplasticity, which I'm too stupid to understand. | ||
| You can even play them from your iPhone, iPad, with a free Lumosity app. | ||
| So lumosity.com forward slash Joe. | ||
| Go check it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Freaks! | |
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| Get on it, you dirty freaks. | ||
| Honey, honey is here. | ||
| Why fuck around? | ||
| Young Brian, cue the music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What, you dirty freaks? | |
| Listen, we had an issue. | ||
| We had a little sound issue. | ||
| We wanted to make sure that everything was clean and smooth since you guys are here. | ||
| Sound is a very important part of what you do. | ||
| I don't have to tell you this. | ||
| It is a key to your lifestyle. | ||
| So, hey, what's up, fuckers? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You know, we're chilling. | ||
| We're so excited to be in California. | ||
| Yeah, what happened? | ||
| Nashville lost its charm? | ||
| Well, it was snowing when we left, let's put it that way. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Yeah, it was snowing, and it's really interesting because the whole city really shuts down. | ||
| Like, schools close, and I'm talking like a mild dusting. | ||
| They just don't know what to do with it? | ||
| Well, it's like rain out here. | ||
| If it rains here, people freak out. | ||
| Well, worse though, right? | ||
| The freakout, you mean? | ||
| Yeah, Joey, was it Tom Segura Joey was with? | ||
| I forget who he was with in Oregon. | ||
| They were up in Oregon doing shows, and a freak snowstorm blanketed the city, and then it got icy rain below it. | ||
| So it was snow on top of icy rain. | ||
| It was just the whole city just shut down. | ||
| I mean, if they don't have the, you know, the salt trucks and all that stuff, and if people don't know how to drive it, they really shouldn't, you know? | ||
| But it's really interesting. | ||
| I mean, they closed school for like three days, and, you know, the roads were really fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was just, it was amazing. | ||
| What do you guys think about Nashville? | ||
| Has the charm worn off? | ||
| Are you bored with it already? | ||
| Man, when we were just talking, we came back the other night. | ||
| We got into L.A. yesterday. | ||
| I walked into this bar, and all these people that I knew were there, and all these friends, and it just felt good, man. | ||
| And there's friends. | ||
| Nashville's interesting because when you first get there, it's such an open community, and people welcome you in, and everyone's sweet, and you have friends, and all of a sudden, you go out to a bar and you know people. | ||
| But there's a difference when you see people you've been with for eight years, ten years. | ||
| It just feels good. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So coming back, I don't know. | ||
| It's so goddamn beautiful. | ||
| I got kind of wistful. | ||
| Do you guys... | ||
| Do you miss, like, the largeness of the city? | ||
| Or is it the people, the attitude? | ||
| Like, did you feel different? | ||
| Like, a different vibe? | ||
| I've never lived in Nashville. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But did you get, like, a different vibe from the people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the... | ||
| Well, first of all, I mean, you can drive around the whole city in, like, 15 minutes. | ||
| I mean, it's just... | ||
| You're... | ||
| The days feel longer because you're not stuck in your car trying to get here to there like you do in LA. Everything is really accessible, which is great because as far as our productivity and working on the record, which is kind of why we went there, to write and have all this space. | ||
| Still not done. | ||
| We didn't do it there. | ||
| We keep coming back here to work on it. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| So it's really interesting. | ||
| There's a number of reasons why. | ||
| It's a much more affordable town and all that stuff. | ||
| But when I come to California now, I really feel like this intense energy. | ||
| You're vibrating. | ||
| It's so exciting. | ||
| You kind of feel like it's like this shock of you're just awake and there's all this stuff happening. | ||
| There's so many fucking people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And Nashville's great. | ||
| It's just like really chill. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| But when you have it for a long time, you kind of get a little stir crazy. | ||
| It just doesn't have the diversity. | ||
| Look at my crazy eyes. | ||
| What can I do next? | ||
| The diversity? | ||
| Here it's a completely different... | ||
| Game in terms of that. | ||
| There's this really interesting smush going on of, like, Bible Belt, conservatism, and freaky people. | ||
| You know, there's kind of the freaky people area, but that's spreading. | ||
| Freaky people are spreading. | ||
| We're weirdos. | ||
| Weirdos always win. | ||
| We always win. | ||
| It's more fun to be a weirdo. | ||
| That Bible Belt shit, once you catch a few of them fucking kids, you know, and doing weird shit, they were supposed to be all highfalutin. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of game over there. | ||
| Yeah, it's game over. | ||
| They start losing credibility. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I definitely feel a little more self-aware in Nashville as far as my fucking potty mouth and my just being Loud and obnoxious. | ||
| Because there's a lot more... | ||
| I feel like there's a lot... | ||
|
unidentified
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No, I am. | |
| I'm pretty obnoxious. | ||
| I mean, we all spend much time together. | ||
| You picked it up. | ||
|
unidentified
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But I think people are a little more reserved there. | |
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| I generally really enjoy playing there. | ||
| I think it's one of my favorite places to play. | ||
| I love the people there. | ||
| I love the small town thing about it, too. | ||
| I just think people are super friendly there. | ||
| But I wonder if I would go crazy if I lived there. | ||
| The Bible Bell thing would probably drive me crazy. | ||
| But you can avoid it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And honestly, it seems fairly segregated. | ||
| It's like you just don't walk down that street. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty amazing. | ||
| That street, people believe in dinosaurs. | ||
| This street, not so much. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, really? | |
| Somebody tweeted me something with some woman, you know, that was talking about that dinosaurs must have probably drowned, and she wasn't trolling. | ||
| That Noah didn't have room for them on the ark, so they probably all drowned. | ||
|
unidentified
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No! | |
| They would have eaten him. | ||
| It was on her Facebook page and someone sent me a tweet, can you believe this silly bitch? | ||
| And it was to her Facebook page because it was so ridiculous that random people that didn't even know her were going to her Facebook page and be like, bitch, are you fucking crazy? | ||
| Dinosaurs drowned? | ||
| It's fucking Russell Crowe's fault. | ||
| He decided to do this goddamn Noah movie and the whole thing gets stirred up again. | ||
| Russell Crowe? | ||
| I haven't seen anything about that. | ||
| He's Noah! | ||
| It's Darren Aronofsky, who's apparently a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He's done a lot of pretty badass movies, right? | ||
| What else has he done? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Did he do Gladiator? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't want to out myself as Darren... | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| Have you seen the ads for Noah? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It looks intense. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
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It looks exciting. | |
| I would love to give him a French braid. | ||
| Would you really? | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| Like Rocket Jamaica style? | ||
| Look, he's checking. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's going on? | |
| He's like the Denzel. | ||
| Of white people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| He kind of does his. | ||
|
unidentified
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What did he say? | |
| Denzel never got fat. | ||
| It's fat right now. | ||
| That's muscle. | ||
| He just looks warmer. | ||
|
unidentified
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Man corrupted this world. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Filled it with violence. | ||
| That guy's no cardio. | ||
|
unidentified
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This beam must be destroyed. | |
| I just thought he got game. | ||
|
unidentified
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Have you seen that? | |
| Uh, the vessel to hold the innocent. | ||
| Denzel can fall. | ||
| I love bodies like this. | ||
| I freak out. | ||
| You love this movie? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it's kind of fun. | |
| I like movies like this. | ||
| Like, you know, I don't want to, you know, fantasy kind of. | ||
| Like, Lord of the Rings. | ||
| I'm so gay for Lord of the Rings. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, I really enjoy Lord of the Rings too. | ||
| I love fantasy movies. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| I had high hopes for the new Conan movie. | ||
| Didn't really work out. | ||
| When did that come out? | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
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I missed that one. | |
| Piece of shit. | ||
| But it was good, like, halfway into it. | ||
| I was like, it's still pretty good. | ||
| And then, ah! | ||
| The new Conan is the guy from Game of Thrones who played the barbarian dude that was banging Khaleesi. | ||
| Love that guy. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Bet you do. | ||
| Bet your eggs love him, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I met that dude. | ||
| He's a very nice guy, too. | ||
| Big, giant, handsome bastard. | ||
| And he was the perfect Conan. | ||
| Isn't he married to Lenny Kravitz's daughter or something? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, the guy's pimping. | ||
| That'll work. | ||
| That'll last. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Way to be optimistic. | ||
| No, the guy, he's awesome. | ||
| I mean, he's just too handsome to be running around there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Married to anybody. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| But the movie was, like, it held promise. | ||
| You know, it looked like it was going to be good, but like all these fucking movies, it eventually falls apart, unfortunately. | ||
| But I gave it a shot. | ||
| I don't even remember that coming out. | ||
| Did it get good reviews? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Dog shit reviews. | ||
| It just wasn't that good. | ||
| But he's the perfect Conan. | ||
| If they had a good writer, like if you got James Cameron involved and he put together some Avatar-type Conan movie, it would be the shit. | ||
| Because the guy's the perfect Conan. | ||
| The guy can act his ass off. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| He really would have been Conan, but they gave him a dogshit movie. | ||
| That's a bummer. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you can't turn that role. | ||
| It's a huge role. | ||
| You can't turn it down and then everything else falls through. | ||
| Poor guy. | ||
| Well, nobody remembers anyway. | ||
| You guys didn't remember. | ||
| Nobody remembers. | ||
| Yeah, I had no idea. | ||
| I think making movies must be hard. | ||
|
unidentified
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Fuck yeah. | |
| That's the sense I get. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's impossible. | |
| It's so easy. | ||
| So yeah, you do it at home. | ||
| There's so many people involved. | ||
| There's too many people. | ||
| The beautiful thing about what you guys do is, you fucking talk amongst yourselves. | ||
| You say you want more of this, and he says he wants more of that, and together you find some sort of a happy medium and you create your shit. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had a bunch of money people? | ||
| Well, I'm not saying it's easy at all. | ||
| It's less intervention than... | ||
| Making a movie, man, you've got hundreds of people that have their say. | ||
| You have so many people that you have to... | ||
| Well, it depends on what kind of movie you're making. | ||
| If you're making an independent movie, you have your independent opinion. | ||
| You guys still have to deal with actors. | ||
| Some actor wants to do a fucking monologue in the middle of the scene. | ||
| You're like, bro, that's not the part. | ||
| The part is not... | ||
| He doesn't do a monologue, man. | ||
| I'll do it if I can do a monologue. | ||
| Well, it's a different movie, then. | ||
| Ad-libbing. | ||
| The guy's deaf. | ||
| He can't talk. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, I just feel like... | |
| He could be like the end. | ||
|
unidentified
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Psych! | |
| Here's what I had to say. | ||
| It's always about making choices. | ||
| It's just a choice. | ||
| It's just, when you deal with a lot of people, it's very difficult to have a creative vision that goes through. | ||
| Do you guys have any, like, does your manager ever say, look, you need more jokes or more songs about this or more songs about that? | ||
| We've had stuff like that before. | ||
| Is it gross? | ||
| Yeah, well, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like if you... | ||
| Have we really? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| You know, back in the day... | ||
| I think we're too difficult to work with like that. | ||
| We don't have a manager right now. | ||
| Maybe that's what happened. | ||
| I met your manager. | ||
| Did I meet your agent or your manager? | ||
| He was our manager, then he became an agent. | ||
| Yeah, and that was an amicable thing, but just, I don't know, kind of like the tides of time. | ||
| Yeah, like, I don't like you. | ||
| You don't like me. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| That's like amicable divorces. | ||
| There was love. | ||
| When people say amicable divorces, like, well, it's amicable. | ||
| No, it's not amicable. | ||
| You got so sick of each other that you went to court, okay? | ||
| Don't tell me it's amicable. | ||
| You might like each other still as human beings, but that shit ain't amicable. | ||
| You don't live together anymore. | ||
| You don't fuck. | ||
| You guys got divorced, son. | ||
| I heard a new term for that today, though. | ||
|
unidentified
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What? | |
| Because I was reading about the Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. | ||
| It just came up. | ||
| I wasn't looking for it. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Are they splitting up? | ||
| It's an unconscious... | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Conscious unpartnering. | ||
| Conscious unpartnering. | ||
| Gwyneth Paltrow splitting up with her man? | ||
| Dispartnering. | ||
| So sad. | ||
| Look, I'm a fucking romantic. | ||
| Hey, I bet you are. | ||
|
unidentified
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Let love live. | |
| I believe it. | ||
| Hey, Melissa, there's nothing wrong with love. | ||
| But I'm also really bad at relationships. | ||
| How long do you want to live with Gwyneth Paltrow for, though? | ||
| Or that guy from Coldplay. | ||
| I'm sure he's a fucking whiny vagina, too. | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus Christ. | |
| Christ. | ||
| I mean, anybody who writes and sings those songs, beautiful songs, as they may be, why are you not like... | ||
| A lot of tears. | ||
| A lot of single tears. | ||
| How come your songs aren't about celebrating the fact that you're a fucking rock star? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How come your songs aren't celebrating the fact that... | ||
| Maybe that's what we should do, Ben, and then it'll actually come to fruition. | ||
| It truly is. | ||
| Woo-hoo! | ||
| It's a celebration. | ||
| You're unbelievable. | ||
| Cool and the Gang knew how to do it. | ||
| Yeah, Stevie Wonder knew how to do it. | ||
| But most people, I bet most of the bands that you listen to write depressing shit a lot of the time. | ||
|
unidentified
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Is that easier? | |
| It's just easy to access that stuff or easier. | ||
| Is it easier also to not be like sort of a superficial dummy who's singing about happiness? | ||
| Like if you sing about moodiness, like you're automatically deep and meaningful. | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| I can remember that movie 21 Grams. | ||
| You remember that movie? | ||
| God, I just saw that recently. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| And I made a decision after I saw that movie. | ||
| I said, never again will I go see a movie that's trying to make me sad. | ||
| I don't buy the idea that it's deep because it makes you feel like shit. | ||
| I don't buy it. | ||
| I know what you're doing. | ||
| This is a game here. | ||
| Everything falls apart, everything goes to shit, and at the end you feel all this loss, and then I leave. | ||
| I know what you did. | ||
| You guys fucked me. | ||
| You pretended that you were doing something deep. | ||
| You're just doing something depressing. | ||
| Depressing and deep are not the same goddamn thing. | ||
| What are your thoughts on... | ||
| I recently saw that movie... | ||
| Was it The Lone Ranger? | ||
| Wait, no, not The Lone Ranger. | ||
| Johnny Depp is not a fucking Indian, okay? | ||
| Not the Lone Ranger. | ||
| The one with Mark Wahlberg. | ||
| Oh my god, I'm so sorry. | ||
| The Lone Soldier? | ||
| Lone Survivor? | ||
| Lone Survivor. | ||
| God, Samsonite. | ||
| But that was based off of a true story and actually has some relevance as far as the reality that we live in right now. | ||
| Yes, definitely. | ||
| But that is a little bit different. | ||
| That's not necessarily like, hey, I'm making this movie to fuck you up. | ||
| But it really fucked me up. | ||
| I had to go drive around for like 20 minutes after I left the movie theater. | ||
| And it was, I mean, did you see it? | ||
| I watched part of it. | ||
| Those movies kind of bum me out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Marcus Luttrell is a guy I've met at the UFC a few times. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| The guy who's the story is based on. | ||
| He's actually in the movie. | ||
| He had a part. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he, you know, his real story. | ||
| You've met him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| I have a real hard time watching dramatizations with Marky Mark. | ||
| And someone else playing these guys. | ||
| I know it was awesome, and I'm not putting him down. | ||
| I love Mark Wahlberg. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I thought he was great in that movie with The Rock. | ||
| He's fucking great. | ||
| Kid's a great actor. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| It's just I know he's Marky Mark. | ||
| He'll always be Dirk Diggler, though. | ||
| Yeah, whoever he is. | ||
| He's Mark Wahlberg. | ||
| I know he's Mark Wahlberg, and I know who the guy is. | ||
| I know that guy, Marcus Luttrell, is a real person. | ||
| So when I'm watching a recreation... | ||
| It's weird, but I can't separate myself from the art. | ||
| I enjoy them much more in works of fiction than I do in recreations. | ||
| I never enjoy recreations, because I'm always like, that didn't fucking happen like that. | ||
| That's probably bullshit. | ||
| So you weren't pumped about Titanic, is what you're saying? | ||
| Well, Titanic is different, because it had Leonardo and Kate... | ||
| And the chemistry there just went right to the tinker. | ||
|
unidentified
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I knew it, you softy. | |
| He was like a tramp and a young man with passion and poetry in his heart. | ||
| No, it's just, I think, I don't like recreations, you know? | ||
| I just, I know there's too much fuckery involved in the creation of those things. | ||
| So are you more of a kind of like a frozen guy? | ||
| I love Frozen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| I saw it twice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we go. | |
| I love this. | ||
| I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They love it. | |
| You come over to my house at any point in time and you hear, Let it go! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let it go! | |
| Can't hold me back anymore! | ||
| They'll start singing at the drop of hat. | ||
| They jump up on the couch and start singing. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Hey, little girls love princesses, man. | ||
| There's nothing you can do about that. | ||
| There's this rapper that has the second best song, but he's like, man, I could have had the number one song if it wasn't because of the Frozen soundtrack. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| Frozen's a good fucking movie, man, for little kids. | ||
| It's not a good movie for adults, but as an adult, you can enjoy it. | ||
| I find that there's a lot of these movies that they're made for little kids, but they do a really good job, and you can actually sit and enjoy the movie with your kids. | ||
| I saw Mr. Peabody's movie. | ||
| The Lego movie is a perfect example. | ||
| It's a good fucking movie. | ||
| You didn't see that by yourself, did you not? | ||
| Easy there. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| It was a good movie. | ||
| And it brought me up. | ||
| I felt like I was walking out with a whole bunch of friends. | ||
| I saw Mr. Peabody in the Wayback Machine this weekend, whatever the fuck it's called. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| First of all, the animation is fucking amazing. | ||
| Oh, the dog. | ||
| The dog that made a time machine. | ||
| That looks dope. | ||
| It's fucking badass. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| And it's also just what they can do with animation now when they're operating the time machine. | ||
| You're like, God damn. | ||
| They make shit look beautiful. | ||
| Make Scooby-Doo look like Dog shit! | ||
| You know, you stop and look at the kind of... | ||
| Like, this is Mr. Peabody. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This was good? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you gotta see the Time Machine series when he actually uses the Time Machine. | ||
| You gotta find... | ||
| Look for it and find a video when they operate the Time Machine. | ||
| You see the graphics involved. | ||
| It's like, oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These kids today, they're so spoiled with beauty. | |
| It's true. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I liked Up. | ||
| I was a big fan of Up when that came out. | ||
| But that's depressing as fuck. | ||
| That guy's essentially suicidal. | ||
| No, I think it's good to have a little darkness for kids. | ||
| You have to get a little introduction into reality. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're one of those broads. | |
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
| Because, I'll be honest with you, I'm not going to get into details, but I had a real solid shattering of my idealism in my adulthood that was really intense. | ||
| And... | ||
| It's interesting when you sort of... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I could have prepared you for that. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Fuck, yeah. | ||
| No, I'm kind of fucking around, but I'm not fucking around. | ||
| No, but I'm serious. | ||
| As far as, like, you know, the princess reality for little kids, you know, if you sort of had this, like, fairy tale. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just... | |
| And not in an aggressive way. | ||
| So, my ex-boyfriend wrote this book that is actually... | ||
| It's a children's book. | ||
| It's called Kate's First Mate. | ||
| And it's about relationships, but it's written as a children's book. | ||
| And it's actually really amazing. | ||
| And he... | ||
| Sells it like hotcakes and all these like kind of little hipster stores in California and it's published and it's a really interesting look at, you know, choosing a partner for, you know, when you're a kid and just sort of rather than like Prince German comes in on a... | ||
| White horse. | ||
| You know, it just sort of has this really great way to kind of just give a small introduction to kids about, you know, reality. | ||
| And sometimes it doesn't work out and you go through the storm and then you come out, you know, captaining the ship with your partner. | ||
| You know what's interesting, man? | ||
| Man? | ||
| You know, man. | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| People? | ||
| Friends? | ||
| Babe. | ||
| What's interesting, friends, is how much they're trying to take, when they take old stories and they pull all the teeth out of them. | ||
| Like, it's really kind of fascinating. | ||
| Like, the Big Bad Wolf or any of these stories, like, there's this trend. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| There's a lot of people that think Disney's Frozen. | ||
| It's teaching kids to be gay. | ||
| Disney's gay propaganda. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| What's gay about Frozen? | ||
| They said that the main character with the other girl... | ||
| I never saw it, so I don't know. | ||
| The main character? | ||
| The sister? | ||
| That they're gay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Just don't even click on that. | ||
| That's just morons. | ||
| And about bestiality too because of the animals we're friends and it's teaching kids about bestiality. | ||
| What about your pet? | ||
| You should bring that person on the podcast. | ||
| I'd like to see that one. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| I didn't know where the podcast is. | ||
| Fuck all these fucking dummies. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I don't remember what we were talking about. | ||
| How they took the old stories. | ||
| Yeah, they take all these stories, like The Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood, and they kind of dress it down. | ||
| They take away all the violence and scariness out of it, and you get a version of it. | ||
| Wait, are you talking about for kids? | ||
| For kids. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Like Rapunzel. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Yeah, that shit was scary. | ||
| The real ones were really scary. | ||
| That witch, she took Rapunzel, cut her hair off, and pretended that the guy was climbing her hair, and then pushed him off, and he got blinded. | ||
| That's the original story. | ||
| He fell into a briar bush, and his eyes got fucking gouged out. | ||
| That's the original story. | ||
| If you read the original one, you're like, whoa! | ||
| All that Brothers Grimm stuff. | ||
| Hansel and Gretel, you know, like sticking out a dead chicken bone, they think it's their finger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and the wolf ate Little Red Riding Hood, and the grandmother. | ||
| She died in the original one? | ||
| In the original one, she was eaten by the wolf, and then somehow or another the hunter cut her out of the wolf or something like that. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| Yeah, the grandma and her, they're both okay. | ||
| Cut them out. | ||
| Yeah, let's bring it back to real town, you know? | ||
| This is what's really happening. | ||
| Well, it's just weird how they try to slowly but surely over time take the teeth out of a lot of those things. | ||
| It's like if you go back and watch cartoons from when I was a kid, they were all about violence. | ||
| Cartoons were all about anvils falling on people's heads and explosions spinning a duck's beak around a circle. | ||
| Yeah, but then you have some really terrible things that... | ||
| There's never one thing, one reason to blame for when there's like a school shooting or something like that. | ||
| But then that is the basis of changing the whole, you know, viewing demographic and, you know, watering it down so it's not as violent. | ||
| Like, you know, I don't really have an opinion on it. | ||
| But that's where it comes from. | ||
| I don't know if there's a direct correlation between viewing violence and enacting violence. | ||
| I'm really not sure if there is, nor am I sure if it's ever been proven. | ||
| Because you see more violence now than ever, and I would say that it's probably the least violent time we've ever existed on Earth. | ||
| But I know that kids have done shit they saw in commercials, or in cartoons, rather. | ||
| My cousin Mikey hit his brother over the head with a frying pan because he thought it was going to turn into one of their shapes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've heard that! | |
| I've heard other people do that! | ||
| The head boners fucking cracked him over the head because he thought it was going to turn into the shape of a frying pan. | ||
| He fucking walked up to his little brother with a bong! | ||
| And you hear screaming and the dad beat the shit out of him. | ||
| It was craziness. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah, it was dark. | ||
| It was dark. | ||
| How did he come out? | ||
| Is he okay? | ||
| He's fucked up. | ||
| That kid's always been fucked up. | ||
| I avoided him ever since I was like seven. | ||
| Right when I got out of Catholic school, I avoided my cousin, too. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It might not even have been my cousin, Mikey. | ||
| Mikey may have actually been his neighbor, now that I think about it. | ||
| Either way, not good to hit kids in the head with a frying pan. | ||
| And he learned it from a television show. | ||
| Something to avoid. | ||
| Some cartoon. | ||
| You bong! | ||
| And your head is like... | ||
| You gotta do that thing. | ||
| It shakes it back. | ||
| Nobody ever dies, but everybody gets blown to fucking smithereens. | ||
| I mean, all the shit that happened to Wally Coyote. | ||
| And, you know, at the end, he would pop his head up and fucking dust would fall off of him. | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| That fucker. | ||
| But it was all violence. | ||
| There's none of that today. | ||
| You will never see a kid's show today that has violence in it. | ||
| They just don't have it. | ||
| Everything's cutesy pie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Kung Fu Panda was pretty hardcore. | ||
| We're raising pussies. | ||
| No one shot the panda. | ||
| Pandas should have been hit with a fucking missile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there was a lot of guns in old folklore and rifles. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Were there? | ||
| Cannonballs? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| But no one got hurt, right? | ||
| No, there was no serious injury. | ||
| Humans were hurt, though. | ||
| That's important. | ||
| Humans were hurt? | ||
| Feelings. | ||
| Oh, feelings are more valuable sometimes. | ||
| But at the same time, you have this whole world of really fucked up abstract cartoons and shit, right, that is available to kids. | ||
| It's not presented to them, really. | ||
| But if you Google some weird stuff... | ||
| You can find anything you want. | ||
| You can be a five-year-old now. | ||
| If you're a five-year-old that's Googling, your parents are doing a shitty fucking job. | ||
| Maybe so. | ||
| You don't leave five-year-olds in front of a fucking computer, ever. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have kids. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I have no kids. | ||
| No, it's a lot older than each. | ||
| I was a nanny back in the day. | ||
| You were saying something. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I just figured this was me assuming or guessing that you can get into some weird stuff, too. | ||
| You could if you had no oversight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you should have oversight when you're five. | ||
| It's like we were talking about... | ||
| When I did a magic show on Fisherman's Wharf when I was eight, why did I do that? | ||
| Because nobody was watching me. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Anybody tells you I was raised correctly, I point to that and go, do you think an eight-year-old should be able to just walk down the street and not tell anybody where he's going? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's not a good move. | ||
| That's pretty profound, though, that you were, like, did you take the train or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You walked. | |
| You walked. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Was it nighttime? | ||
| Yeah, no, it was during the day. | ||
| I lived pretty close to Fisherman's Wharf, and I noticed that people were doing these one-person shows on Fisherman's Wharf. | ||
| They had, like, a little box out, and people would throw money in it. | ||
| So I did a magic show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| And it's almost good that no one stopped you, right? | ||
| You didn't have oversight and you figured your shit out. | ||
| Maybe something horrible could have befallen you. | ||
| I almost got raped by some dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you? | |
| But you didn't. | ||
| Yeah, I got lucky. | ||
| The librarian saw the guy and yelled. | ||
| I was ready to go out to this guy's car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I was the same age. | ||
| I was really into monsters, like monster books and stuff like that. | ||
| So I was at the library in the monster section, pulling out these books. | ||
| And this guy came up to me and told me that he had monster books in his car. | ||
| And I didn't know any better. | ||
| I was only eight years old. | ||
| So I was like, okay, you got monster books? | ||
| I thought it was just a guy with monster books. | ||
| You're like, I'll sit in your lap for some monster books. | ||
| And as I was walking towards the car... | ||
| As I was walking towards the car, the librarian started screaming, you know, you get away from him. | ||
| That guy just got out of prison. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he was like a known pedo, and they would have to watch him when he would go to the library because he'd go scouting around for kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's some scary shit. | ||
| I had some weird stuff when I was a kid. | ||
| There was this older boy who was in the neighborhood and I was a little tomboy. | ||
| I'd always be playing in the backyard, I don't know, chopping trees, whatever. | ||
| We grew up on an acre. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I had this really interesting moment where I was in the backyard and I was obsessed with fishing. | ||
| I loved to fish. | ||
| I still do. | ||
| And I always talk about it. | ||
| You know, I was really weird. | ||
| Didn't have a lot of friends. | ||
| And this older boy was like maybe 14 and I was 9 or 10. Comes out of the wood line. | ||
| He's like, hey, Suzanne, there's a largemouth bass in the creek. | ||
| You've got to come see it right now. | ||
| You've got to come see it. | ||
| And I remember it like being like, Okay, let me get my shoes. | ||
| Okay, I've got to go to the house. | ||
| I think my parents are out. | ||
| My sisters and I would always... | ||
| When we were kids, everybody would be running around playing baseball. | ||
| There was a pack of kids. | ||
| My sisters were home, but I didn't know where they were. | ||
| I ran upstairs to get my shoes. | ||
| Then all of a sudden, I had this moment of... | ||
| I was totally terrified. | ||
| All of a sudden, I felt like... | ||
| Really weird. | ||
| And I went upstairs in my bedroom, which overlooked the backyard, and I watched him and I didn't leave. | ||
| I got really scared. | ||
| And I watched him and I watched him kind of wait around for a while and leave. | ||
| And like later, this kid was like... | ||
| Years later, he was blowing up squirrels in his treehouse. | ||
| He was hurting the neighborhood animals and got into some serious trouble. | ||
| He was a violent kid. | ||
| And now as an adult, there's no way there was a large amount of bats in the creek. | ||
| It was like this tiny little creek. | ||
| And I really do, when I think about it, I feel like I avoided a really weird situation. | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| I mean, you might have been the first one that he killed. | ||
| The circumstances were right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I don't remember everything, but I will never forget that feeling. | ||
| I was just terrified. | ||
| I didn't want to go back. | ||
| And you never know. | ||
| Certain circumstances, people are really close to doing something fucked up and never do it until a circumstance arises. | ||
| That might have been the circumstance that pushed the guy over the edge. | ||
| Well, the person that blows up animals in their treehouse has some serious issues, if you ask me. | ||
| Well, anybody who tortures animals, that's one of the first things they look for. | ||
| When you find out that your son has been nailing a squirrel to a board and sticks up its ass and stuff like that, that kid's a monster. | ||
| You've got a bunch of bad connections, and you should take the little fucker fishing. | ||
| Take them out in the middle of the ocean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry, it didn't work out. | |
| Well, see you later. | ||
| Sorry, pal. | ||
| I raised a monster. | ||
| Take it out to the ocean. | ||
| Still love fishing, though. | ||
| Fishing's great. | ||
| We rented a pontoon boat in Tennessee. | ||
| That was really fun. | ||
| We went out with a bunch of friends. | ||
| Didn't catch a fish, but man, drank a whole bunch of beer. | ||
| Got a suntan, if you can believe that. | ||
| White is goat cheese. | ||
| It's very rare. | ||
| So are you guys going to move back? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| We've got to make some money first. | ||
| We've got to finish this record. | ||
| Can we live in your basement? | ||
| My basement is an isolation tank. | ||
| Hey, did we talk about that? | ||
| Thank you for putting us in that tank. | ||
| Oh, did you get in it? | ||
| Yeah, we met Crash. | ||
| How was the experience? | ||
| No, we didn't talk about it. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| I kind of freaked out at one point. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah, because I started to get really... | ||
| I was like, oh my god, what if Crash forgot to open the air thing? | ||
| And I started to like... | ||
| Then I was like, I can't breathe. | ||
| I can't breathe. | ||
| And I was trying to find the door, and then I got the water in my eye, and I was like, ah! | ||
| Oh my god, you panicked. | ||
| Disaster. | ||
| Oh yeah, I lost it. | ||
| You panicked. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Super cute. | |
| It was a real cute, precious moment I had naked in that tank. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, next time, relax. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, you know, story not. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| That's a new experience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is not something I'm accustomed to. | ||
| That's the thing about it. | ||
| It's not one of those things you get used to the first time. | ||
| You get better at it. | ||
| My body's so used to it that I get in there and my body goes, oh, we're in the tank. | ||
| And then I just let go immediately. | ||
| But when I first started doing it, I'd be like, I had all this busy work. | ||
| I'd want to itch something. | ||
| It's like meditation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now you can just settle in. | ||
| But you can come up with some great ideas in there, too. | ||
| It's like you never get a chance to be alone with yourself like you do in that tank. | ||
| If you really want to be a moody, depressing fuck and write some shit that's going to make people cry, that's the spot. | ||
| That's the spot. | ||
| Or figure things out. | ||
| I just think there's no better place for me to figure things out. | ||
| Like anytime I have real problems in my life, anytime there's any disputes or anytime I'm doing something I don't want to be doing, I get in that tank and it sort of provides me with the resources to come up with the right answers. | ||
| Because other than that tank, you don't get alone time like that. | ||
| You never get alone time from your body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you meditate? | |
| Or that's where you meditate? | ||
| No, I don't ever meditate outside the tank. | ||
| Except, I guess, a little bit doing yoga. | ||
| I guess a little bit of that's meditation, but it's yoga. | ||
| It's the whole thing. | ||
| The tank is just the mind. | ||
| But I don't fuck around with regular meditation. | ||
| To me, it's like running when you have a car. | ||
| Like, I want to get to Vegas. | ||
| Probably better drive. | ||
| It'd take a lot longer to walk. | ||
| Why would you walk to Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ohm. | |
| This is what ohming is. | ||
| It's walking to Vegas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ohm. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm into it. | ||
| I'm not going to lie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm already calming down just listening to you do that. | |
| If you get a tank in the basement and ohm in the tank, it's some next level shit. | ||
| I owe them in the tank. | ||
| I owe them in the tank. | ||
| I do these breathing exercises in the tank where I breathe in for one minute and then I breathe out for one minute. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One slow minute breathing in and one slow minute breathing out. | ||
| Breathing out is really hard. | ||
| So when was it that you discovered that you in fact actually were Jason Bourne? | ||
| You know, the first Jason Bourne movies I enjoyed, but the new one with that fucking guy, Jeremy Renner, there's too much fake karate going on. | ||
| There's too much shit that the body can't do. | ||
| I'm not buying it. | ||
| Why can't you let us live in our fantasy world? | ||
| The guy's living in the fucking frozen north in his underwear. | ||
| They come and get him. | ||
| They activate him. | ||
| Nothing's wrong with that. | ||
| The guy's going to get hypothermia. | ||
| He's a fucking human. | ||
| Jumping off of buildings, landing on people's heads, no ankle tweaks. | ||
| Movies aren't real? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I'm not buying it. | ||
| And here's the big one. | ||
| Doesn't have sex with anybody. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That is a bummer. | ||
| That's a super bummer. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Spies don't do that. | ||
| Spies are boning everywhere. | ||
| Well, it's what we're doing here. | ||
| The pussification of the American male is almost complete. | ||
| Our superheroes don't even get pussy. | ||
| James Bond fucked everyone, okay? | ||
| He was from England, goddammit, and he fucked everyone. | ||
| He fucked everyone. | ||
| He drank. | ||
| We even know how he takes his fucking martinis. | ||
| Shaken, never stirred. | ||
| We know how he likes his drugs. | ||
| That's fucking the murderer's drug distribution. | ||
| He got mad pussy, fucked him. | ||
| He had so much pussy, he had a movie called Octopussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| No, he's a winner. | ||
| Meanwhile, Jeremy Renner saves the girl who's hotter than the surface of the fucking sun. | ||
| He's hanging out with her all movie long. | ||
| Obviously, she's enthralled with him. | ||
| And the end of the movie is so symbolic of the neutering of the American male that even these super badass murdering superstars sit on the boat together and they're sitting across from each other. | ||
| Why do you think that is? | ||
| Why do you think they didn't give us some action? | ||
| Did you see the movie? | ||
| I want to know how they got out of that. | ||
| There was a very intense, intimate look into each other's eyes. | ||
| Barely! | ||
| Like, once the credits roll, we're going to bone. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I didn't see that. | ||
| Why couldn't you bone before the credits rolled? | ||
| I didn't see that at all. | ||
| I didn't see what you're seeing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I didn't see any boning going on ever in their future. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| It was unspoken, Joe. | ||
| I think his dick's broken. | ||
| I think in order to be able to flip like that... | ||
| I think Jeremy Renner's dick is working fine. | ||
| No way. | ||
| In real life, I'm sure it works great. | ||
| But that Jeremy Renner in the movie, the Jason Bourne guy... | ||
| It wasn't Jason Bourne. | ||
| He was the new guy. | ||
| He was the... | ||
| I don't know what I'm talking about. | ||
| He was the after-born. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was the... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever his fucking name was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Born with a broken dick. | ||
| The guy's kicking everybody's ass, and this girl clearly wants to throw down. | ||
| She's like staring at him, like, oh my god, you're the best, you saved my life over and over again. | ||
| And you're single, and I'm single, like, what are we fucking around for? | ||
| And he's just standing there, staring at her. | ||
| Like, I am your robot, I will kill for you, but I cannot fuck. | ||
| He didn't have any romantic attachment to her. | ||
| There's no kissing. | ||
| There's no hugging. | ||
| I don't think we can blame that on the next Jason Bourne guy, whatever his name is, because it's not his fault. | ||
| No, he's symptomatic of a problem we have in society. | ||
| The sexuality of the American male is a dangerous thing. | ||
| The neutering of the American male is a lot of people's goals. | ||
| ultimately as we move away from our primate warring lifestyle into this transcendental experience where we pass through the next dimension and we exist in a world of information purely without any of the needs of the flesh. | ||
| That's what we're moving away from. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, why? | |
| That's why people don't want to be hairy. | ||
| That's why everybody wants to shave your bush, shave everything down. | ||
| It's coming back though. | ||
| 70s bush is making a comeback. | ||
| It's like skinny jeans. | ||
| It's not going to last. | ||
| When bush comes to shove. | ||
| When Bush comes to shove. | ||
| I think it's all the same thing. | ||
| I think we're moving away from animal instincts. | ||
| And so even in our superheroes, we want no animal instincts. | ||
| He's just a killing martial arts robot who doesn't want to fuck. | ||
| At the end of it, he sits down there and there's no threat whatsoever that he only saved all those people because he wants to fuck her. | ||
| But don't you think that's because the people that wrote the movie wanted to widen their audience instead? | ||
| Well, that's one way of looking at it, but why would that be appealing? | ||
| Why would that be appealing? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| More people watch porn than almost anything on the internet. | ||
| It's some insane amount of bandwidth allocated to porn. | ||
| I thought porn wasn't real. | ||
| That's only Brian's dad. | ||
| Sorry, Gary. | ||
| Sorry, Gary. | ||
| Go all together. | ||
| One, two, three. | ||
| Sorry, Gary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're taking it out of context like you always do, Brian. | |
| I'm tired of your bullshit. | ||
| Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you have to get back at me for everything that ever happened. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what it is, but I think there is a move, without a doubt, to moving away from animal instincts. | ||
| So I think it's inevitable. | ||
| But I think there's a female empowerment thing going on, and that's an animal instinct, right? | ||
| What female empowerment do you think? | ||
| Well, I'm actually, and I'm just going to go with it, but I... Was stumbling across some pornography. | ||
| And for the first time... | ||
| How was that? | ||
| Well, I was brushing my teeth and I stepped on a sock and went flying forward and my head hit a certain key on the laptop. | ||
| It was for YouTube, not your porn! | ||
| I'm just going to barrel through this because I thought it was interesting. | ||
| It was purely sociological. | ||
| So there's like this... | ||
| Now I'm picturing you beating off. | ||
| I bet he beats off like this. | ||
| I don't even think about it. | ||
| Is there crying involved? | ||
| Sometimes they don't give me what I need. | ||
| As he comes, he goes, Yummy! | ||
| Now I realize the path that I'm going down. | ||
| I feel like I should wheel around and go, No, no, no. | ||
| Neutrally American Male by Joe Rogan. | ||
| Well, this was the first... | ||
| It was like a casting couch scenario, right? | ||
| Where they usually have the casting couch. | ||
| This isn't just in porn. | ||
| This is just in general. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Those are Greg Fitzsimmons' favorites. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You bring in a chick and you kind of debase her and, you know, make her... | ||
| Do whatever you want her to do. | ||
| But this flipped it around completely and had this chick completely dominating a whole group of guys. | ||
| There's a whole series of them. | ||
| I've never seen that before. | ||
| That's rare as fuck, dude. | ||
| You're talking about trends. | ||
| It's coming around, though. | ||
| It's coming around. | ||
| And Suzanne had this on her phone? | ||
| Is it bookmarked? | ||
| Damn, Ben, how'd you get my passcode? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bookmarked. | |
| Double bookmarked. | ||
| Put in the cloud. | ||
| Save the cloud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes and yes. | |
| Email. | ||
| Ask to be involved. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, for women, yeah, most certainly. | ||
| But it's also like, think about the fantasies that exist for men, the really unrealistic fantasies of, you know, you order a pizza and the pizza girl comes over and she's wearing a bikini and next thing you know, she's blowing you and your friend, you know, and you're both banging her. | ||
| Is that realistic? | ||
| Is that coming around? | ||
| No, and it doesn't represent real life. | ||
| It represents what people want. | ||
| She just came over to take a shower. | ||
| But I mean, if you wanted like porn for women, porn for women I don't think would even be that. | ||
| I think porn for women would probably be far more romantic, you know? | ||
| Also, I think there's a difference between the visual aspect, like what men find appealing, what women find appealing. | ||
| It's like women are into like books, like Fifty Shades of Grey type pornography. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| But some women are into less visual representations of sexuality. | ||
| They don't watch it as much, you know? | ||
| I mean, women don't watch it as much as men do, historically. | ||
| You never know how much stigma is involved with that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| This website is fucking gross and weird, so women stay away from it. | ||
| Not necessarily they don't want to. | ||
| But I don't know about that, because women watch what they want when they're alone. | ||
| You're alone. | ||
| It makes a difference if it's actually, like, real. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if it's not... | ||
| If a woman's actually coming, that's the best one, if you ask me, as far as staged porn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because if it's just for the dude... | ||
| Right, there's a lot of that, too, right? | ||
| It plays out for the dude. | ||
| You can kind of sniff that out. | ||
| I'm not trying to give myself up here. | ||
| Sniff it out. | ||
| You're a pointer. | ||
| She's coming. | ||
| That's exactly how it is. | ||
| He really did eat her out. | ||
| She likes him. | ||
| Yeah, I see. | ||
| I think a lot of women are into porn. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm not delusional. | ||
| But I think that there's a lot more women are into literature pornography than men are into literature pornography. | ||
| Like, almost no men are into literature pornography. | ||
| It's very rare. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| I'm reading this book called 1Q84, a Murakami book, and it's really interesting. | ||
| 1Q84? Yeah. | ||
| What is it about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's, um, God, it's hard to explain. | ||
| It's fiction, and it's kind of a spin. | ||
| There's a lot of 1984, kind of, like, the author is, you know, truly a Orwell fan, and there's just kind of a lot of nuances as far as, like, this kind of, I don't want to say apocalyptic, but, um, God, the... | ||
| It's about a lot of confusing things, but technically it's a romance. | ||
| But there's all this sort of, there's kind of like two worlds colliding. | ||
| There's sort of like, there's two moons in the sky, and there's kind of this really interesting concept. | ||
| But there's a lot of graphic sexual content. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And Ben and I were sitting on a plane. | ||
| He was like, Jesus, every time I look over, there's a boner going on, there's a taut nipple. | ||
| This is an 800-page book, and every single time I glance over, I see something. | ||
| It's really funny, because it's a really great story. | ||
| And I'll be honest with you, I'm not one that's like, yeah, I need a fucking dirty novel to, you know, whatever. | ||
| Butter my scone. | ||
| But I definitely... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking interesting choice of analogies. | |
| But I definitely... | ||
| We've been traveling a lot. | ||
| We've had a few flights for shows recently. | ||
| Why scone? | ||
| Look at it, you know. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I'm looking at it. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So when I'm reading it in public and I'm sitting on an airplane, I feel like I pull the book closer to myself because I'm just like, oh my God, what if... | ||
| It's just, you know, it's such a... | ||
| Well, it's interesting that books can have sexuality, like raw sexuality mixed in with a story, but they can't have that in a movie. | ||
| Like, a movie can never have people, like, graphically fucking. | ||
| What about that movie you just saw? | ||
| I just saw a movie of people graphically fucking. | ||
| It was called Blue is the Warmest Color. | ||
| There's a French, you know what I'm... | ||
| Oh, it's French? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, William? | ||
| Remember Brown Bunny? | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy is like blackballed because of that movie. | ||
| Is he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is his fucking name? | ||
| Vincent Gallo. | ||
| Vincent Gallo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I literally saw these people reviewing that movie informally. | ||
| They were talking about it. | ||
| And they were like, he's a piece of shit. | ||
| He'll never work again. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And all because he made that Chloe Sven... | ||
| Were they just having Dick Envy? | ||
| She just sucked his dick on screen and he came all over her on screen. | ||
| You actually see him orgasm in the movie. | ||
| But the movie is, before that, a real movie. | ||
| It's like, this is just a sex scene in a movie where you actually get to see the sex. | ||
| And they decided to just go for it. | ||
| So they decided to make a movie and have... | ||
| Why is it okay to have a sex scene where you don't see sex? | ||
| But when you have a sex scene where you see sex, they were angry at him because he made them watch that. | ||
| I was listening to this man and these two women talk about it, and their specific point was that they were angry that he made them watch that. | ||
| He made them watch that scene. | ||
| They already knew that that was going to... | ||
| I mean, if they... | ||
| If they were watching the movie, everybody had to know that that was happening. | ||
| I think they were one of the first people to see it, and I think everybody that went in to see that movie knew there was a controversial thing like that had gotten out, but I don't think they realized. | ||
| You're going to watch Vincent Gallo literally put his dick in a girl's mouth, and it was a long scene. | ||
| It wasn't like for a brief American Werewolf in London, you see the wolf, and then it cuts to black. | ||
| No, this is like, it wasn't just you saw his dick and you saw her mouth and then cut, you know, that might have been... | ||
| So I guess, do you think that, I mean, I didn't see the movie, so I don't really have the point of reference. | ||
| I didn't either, but I watched the one scene. | ||
| But I mean, do you think that that was like, hey, I want to do this just to do this, or do you think it was really a form of artistic expression? | ||
| I personally think it was a form of artistic expression that he also wanted to do. | ||
| I think it's both. | ||
| And I think that's part of what people got angry about with the idea. | ||
| When I see a guy act really well, I'm looking at dick-wagging already. | ||
| I mean, that's what you're doing in your expression. | ||
| In your expression of the powerful, the anger of your acting. | ||
| I'm looking at your tears. | ||
| You're screaming at someone. | ||
| I'm also aware that you're aware that you're awesome. | ||
| At doing that. | ||
| And in me being aware that you're aware that you're awesome in doing that, there's a certain amount of inherent dick-wagging. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why people have, like, an almost automatic distaste for some famous men, or some powerful men, or men that are in the public spotlight. | ||
| It's because they know they have to be at least somewhat enamored of themselves, which is a form of dick-wagging. | ||
| So when you're doing that dick-wagging, and then you're also sticking your dick in Chloe's vagina-zizzi's mouth... | ||
| I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, man. | ||
| You're double dickwagon. | ||
| That's what you're doing. | ||
| You're dickwagon because you're up there on the big screen and you're dickwagon because you're standing there in these ridiculous fucking tailored weird clothes because you want to be interesting with your fucking handmade shoes. | ||
| I just want to hit you. | ||
| But you didn't see the movie. | ||
| I saw the scene. | ||
| I don't really want to hit him. | ||
| I'd probably get along with that dude. | ||
| I'd probably like him. | ||
| You should bring him on the podcast. | ||
| He's probably a freak. | ||
| You should totally bring him on the podcast. | ||
| That's really interesting. | ||
| Well, he wasn't around for a while, and then he did a vodka commercial. | ||
| There was a vodka commercial that he was a part of some big vodka campaign. | ||
| But I don't know, like... | ||
| What kind of films he's been in since then. | ||
| But I do know that there was... | ||
| From my limited amount of experience in show business. | ||
| Because I kind of... | ||
| When I started doing Fear Factor, I basically divorced myself almost entirely of the acting world. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And I was only in it for like five years when I was doing news radio. | ||
| And then when I started doing that, I was just out of that world. | ||
| So I never hung out with those people. | ||
| I'm not around those people. | ||
| But when I did, my limited interaction with people... | ||
| That led me to think that they're probably, like, almost universally, people wanted him blackballed because of that movie. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like, it was so common. | ||
| Well, it definitely crosses the boundary of, like, you know, if you have, like... | ||
| When people have controversial sex scenes that come up, like, I kind of remember Eyes Wide Shut. | ||
| That's just what comes to mind. | ||
| When that movie came out, people were like, oh my god, you know, there's some serious shit in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then, you know, keep pushing the envelope. | ||
| But I think, you know, an actual sex scene in a non-quote-unquote-pornographic film, it's like, all of a sudden all the filmmakers are like, oh, what the fuck? | ||
| You know, why'd you, you totally like, you know. | ||
| Like cheating almost, you can do that? | ||
| And now everybody's paying attention to it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not the formal kind of traditional sense of a sex scene, so I'm sure filmmakers would be a little bit perturbed. | ||
| But I don't give a shit. | ||
| That's just my take on it. | ||
| Apparently, Homeboy's still doing movies. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Buffalo 66 was a really interesting movie, too. | ||
| Brown Bunny was in 2004, and he did a couple of movies since then. | ||
| Here and there, like little parts and weird shit. | ||
| Joe, do you ever get movie offers or anything like that these days? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, not good ones. | ||
| But yeah, it's never worth it. | ||
| Because even if one of them was a big movie, but it wasn't that much money, and I had to go somewhere for a couple of weeks. | ||
| And I was like, you've got to pay me a lot of money, and it's got to be worth my while. | ||
| It's going to be interesting for me to want to do it. | ||
| Or I've got to know somebody in it that I'm going to enjoy hanging out with. | ||
| Otherwise, I'd rather just do a free podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sounds ridiculous. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd rather do a set at the Ice House. | ||
| At a certain point in time, it's like, what do you want? | ||
| Do you want a bunch of money or do you want to do things that you enjoy doing? | ||
| And the more you say, I want a bunch of money, the less you're going to do things you enjoy doing. | ||
| And the more you say, I want to do things I enjoy doing, somehow or another, the more money you start making. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Ben, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do that. | |
| You're already doing it. | ||
| Actually, you know what? | ||
| I'll be honest with you. | ||
| Please do. | ||
| I think I'm always honest, actually. | ||
| Well, please don't. | ||
| Don't tell me that. | ||
| Make it seem like it's a special moment. | ||
| No, we've had a really great year so far. | ||
| It's the same conversation I've had with everybody. | ||
| We've had a really great year so far as shows that have been coming in. | ||
| We've had a few private gigs where those are really fruitful. | ||
| You know, someone's like... | ||
| Literally, we actually... | ||
| This was amazing. | ||
| We played a... | ||
| A gig for a birthday party, but it was a very well set up. | ||
| It was the 21st birthday party. | ||
| This girl's 20, 21 years old. | ||
| But her father's a Microsoft exec. | ||
| And they are fans of our band. | ||
| And it was such a great opportunity to make new friends, but also, you know, get paid well, which was actually really cool because that's helping us finish this record. | ||
| And things like that kind of keep happening. | ||
| We're getting these phone calls of like someone saying, hey, we have this festival. | ||
| It's a small town festival, but we'd love to bring you in. | ||
| And, you know, it's all kind of working out, you know, in a way that we're really grateful for because it's sort of like we've been doing this for eight years, you know. | ||
| And it's nice to have those things when they come up and not have to have a side job right now. | ||
| Yeah, well, you guys are really fucking talented. | ||
| And the world is very strange right now when it comes to music. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| The way to distribute things has gone topsy-turvy. | ||
| It's hard, man. | ||
| Record companies are whacked. | ||
| Yeah, that stuff, you just have to do it on your own. | ||
| The internet. | ||
| Well, the internet, you can do live shows. | ||
| There's a thing called Stage It, and we've done a few of those, and we're actually going to do one soon. | ||
| But touring, you know, touring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you can't sell records anymore. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can, but not like... | |
| It's not the same. | ||
| No, it's not like... | ||
| But we actually... | ||
| Like, when we went to Europe, we actually just got off the road this past... | ||
| At the end of last year, we opened up for a guy named Jake Bug. | ||
| Fuck Jake Bug. | ||
| I'm tired of this bullshit. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Well, we got... | ||
| You can't bite the hand that... | ||
| Man, we... | ||
| I'm totally kidding. | ||
| I don't even know who Jake Bug is. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| I just felt like saying that. | ||
| No, he's like a British rock sensation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, cool. | |
| And he took us overseas with him, and it was amazing. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Really hard. | ||
| We got our asses handed to us in the UK. What do you mean? | ||
| Rowdy crowds. | ||
| And we played as a duo. | ||
| A duo? | ||
| In front of 6,000 people. | ||
| When we play as a full band, you get drums and bass and it's like... | ||
| Rowdy crowds, man. | ||
| England has a lot of crazy rowdy crowds, too. | ||
| England was rough on us, but Europe was amazing. | ||
| They were probably some of the best crowds we've ever had. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You guys have opened for quite a few famous people. | ||
| Who else were you guys opening for? | ||
| What did we do last? | ||
| We did Sheryl Crow. | ||
| We opened some shows for her. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I was talking about. | ||
| What was that like? | ||
| It was great, man. | ||
| What does she like to hang out with? | ||
| She's super sweet. | ||
| Yeah, she's amazing. | ||
| Everything she did, she'd have these little speeches during her set talking about how she needed to. | ||
| We had a Kickstarter at the time. | ||
| She's so sweet. | ||
| I don't think she really understood the concept of it. | ||
| She gave speeches to get you guys some money at your Kickstarter? | ||
| Yeah, but she'd say things like, vote for Honey Honey. | ||
| She's so goddamn sweet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She was amazing. | |
| She's got a beautiful voice, man. | ||
| And she's a beautiful woman. | ||
| She's like an empire builder, too. | ||
| It's so cool to see the people in her position who figured out, okay, I've had a successful music career, but I can just branch out now and create this whole universe of Sheryl Crow. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, I enjoy her music, man. | ||
| One time I was in my car and my friend Eddie was in the car with me and he asked me if I could give his girlfriend a ride somewhere. | ||
| So she hopped in the car and Sheryl Crow was playing. | ||
| And it was like, is this a joke? | ||
| Like, are you playing this as a joke? | ||
| And I'm like, I like Sheryl Crow. | ||
| I was like, no, you don't like Sheryl Crow. | ||
| It became like an argument with her and I whether or not I like Sheryl Crow. | ||
| You're being ironic. | ||
| Like, you're being ironic. | ||
| I go, no, my favorite mistake is like a great fucking song. | ||
| Oh, it's such a great song. | ||
| It's a beautiful song. | ||
| She's like, no, you're like a monkey. | ||
| Like, you're like eight. | ||
| She's like mocking me. | ||
| It was all just fun. | ||
| It was in good fun. | ||
| She's like, shouldn't you be listening to like death metal or something or something with a confederate flag attached to it? | ||
| Rage Against the Machine, you seem more like a rage guy. | ||
| From doing your show, we have all these dudes come out. | ||
| I know we've told you this before. | ||
| These dudes come out tatted up, six foot five. | ||
| We're playing a ballad and just be like, screaming before the show during the ballads. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| We have the nicest fans ever. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| And everyone always asks about you. | ||
| They're like, what's he like? | ||
| And I'm like, he's fucking awesome. | ||
| He gives great hugs. | ||
| He's really good at pool. | ||
| I'm going to tell him that now. | ||
| When we guys did... | ||
| When we guys... | ||
| Is that a word? | ||
| When we did that show together, December 21st, 2012 show, that was fun as shit. | ||
| That was the first and only time I've ever done a show like that where it was Doug Stanhope, Joey Diaz, you guys... | ||
| Let's do another one. | ||
| Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm in. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I'm totally down. | ||
| We could totally do that again. | ||
| That was really fun. | ||
| It was really interesting, too. | ||
| Let's do it in Nashville. | ||
| Weird people out. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Do it in Nashville? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I kind of... | ||
| I have a friend who has a club in Nashville. | ||
| I'm in town. | ||
| I do his club. | ||
| This ain't easy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He supports comedy. | ||
| It's like these small clubs. | ||
| There's a weird thing with me with certain small clubs. | ||
| I kind of have to do them. | ||
| I have to support them. | ||
| And that's one of them. | ||
| There's not a lot of comedy out there. | ||
| I feel like he's an island. | ||
| And I know he gets good acts there on a regular basis, but I always feel the need. | ||
| The Ice House is another one. | ||
| I would never do a theater in Pasadena. | ||
| It's never going to happen. | ||
| If I'm in Pasadena, I do the Ice House. | ||
| Just because the owner is my friend and he supports comedy. | ||
| Loyalty. | ||
| That's fucking awesome. | ||
| Well, it's that. | ||
| It's also... | ||
| I don't need to do anything else. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not like a desperate moment where if I don't do the theater, my kids are going to be hungry. | ||
| Dude, you were on fire. | ||
| That End of the World show was amazing. | ||
| There was something magical happening that night. | ||
| It was pretty fun. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| And Doug Stanhope. | ||
| What a guy. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| And Joey. | ||
| And Joey Diaz is awesome, too. | ||
| That show couldn't have been more fun. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| It was a beautiful show. | ||
| The audience was so nice, too. | ||
| They were so fun, and they enjoyed it so much. | ||
| It was just so cool. | ||
| You know, that's the one most surprising thing about all this, is not just the connection to all these people that we've somehow or another fostered, but how nice they are. | ||
| Like, when we do shows. | ||
| I did a show the other day in Chicago, and after the show, I took pictures with people for two hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We went outside, and I said, anybody who wants to take a picture, I said, I'll be here until the last one you leave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great. | |
| I stood behind a table, and I said, this is what we're going to do. | ||
| I'll do five minutes on this side, five minutes in the middle, and then five minutes on that side, and then we'll keep switching. | ||
| And we just went every five minutes. | ||
| And I set my timer on my phone. | ||
| And at five minutes, I'd be like, all right, I'm moving, I'm moving. | ||
| And I'd go do this side. | ||
| Dude, that's incredible. | ||
| It was just a swarm of people around these tables. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| What my point was, was for two hours, nobody was a dick. | ||
| Not one person. | ||
| Everyone was cool as fuck. | ||
| Not one person. | ||
| Why would they be a dick, though? | ||
| This was actually Dallas. | ||
| I did it in Chicago, too, but the most recent one was Dallas. | ||
| But it was just no one at all. | ||
| Like, nothing. | ||
| Not one person. | ||
| No one tried to cut in line. | ||
| No one was a shithead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I see. | |
| I thought you meant a dick to you. | ||
| I'm like, why would they be a dick to you? | ||
| Well, we've seen a little bit of that. | ||
| You see people, not even with us necessarily, we tour with other acts, and people at the merch booth get aggressive with whoever's signing and say, hey, this is what I want. | ||
| Basically, you owe this to me, that kind of mentality. | ||
| It does happen. | ||
| I think it all... | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Because I'm trying to figure out how this happened. | ||
| Because it never happened to me before. | ||
| Like, before the podcast and before... | ||
| Social media. | ||
| Essentially when I was dealing with people, I was dealing with people that knew me from something else. | ||
| They knew me from Fear Factor, or they knew me from the UFC, or they knew me from news radio, or they knew me from comedy. | ||
| Those were the options. | ||
| It wasn't they knew me. | ||
| These people just all know me. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's totally different. | ||
| It's like, they say hi, like they know me. | ||
| You know, like, dude, what's up? | ||
| And I'm like, what's up? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| You know, it's very strange. | ||
| But they do. | ||
| I mean, you get to reveal these really amazing parts of yourself and your mind on your podcast. | ||
| And I think that's such a great thing about what you're doing and what, you know, most podcasts, if they're good ones, you know, you create good conversation. | ||
| You create... | ||
| Real situations of conversation, and people get to witness that, and that's so cool. | ||
| Well, they also get to be a part of it, you know, because they get to see the whole thing. | ||
| Like, one of the things I like about this podcast, we don't edit it. | ||
| It goes out live. | ||
| It's all, you know, it is what it is. | ||
| And because of that, you kind of get to see who everybody really is. | ||
| If it was really produced, and there was all these fast edits, and there was all this, you know, really pre-planned segments, and it would feel... | ||
| Feel less like you were really there. | ||
| You might enjoy it still, but you wouldn't feel like you'd know the people that well. | ||
| And people that are stuck in some shit spot, wherever the fuck you are, if you're in Bangor, Maine, or not to besmirch Bangor, it's a fine community. | ||
| But if you're anywhere, if you're in some weird spot and you don't have a lot of cool people around you, you can listen to Honey Honey Talk. | ||
| You can listen to Adam Carolla. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that you're going to get to listen to the way they think. | ||
| And I know for a fact that part of who I am has been formed by listening to people far smarter and more experienced in my self-talk. | ||
| And that their thoughts shaped my reality. | ||
| And so to be able to introduce other people to... | ||
| The thoughts and ideas that have shaped my reality, my thoughts and ideas that I've gotten from those thoughts and ideas, and other people's thoughts and ideas that continue to shape my reality. | ||
| It's not just me putting on a show, it's me being a part of it, and the audience be a part of it too. | ||
| Everyone's a part of it. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| I think that it's an incredible thing that you're doing that and you're continuing to do that because if the majority of people are watching bullshit reality shows, you know, where they're scripted and staged and they're supposed to be these candid examples... | ||
| Of really asinine shit. | ||
| It really annoys me, you know, like Real Housewives. | ||
| And it's like trying to make something like, oh, you're wearing the same dress as me or whatever the fuck be important and I'm going to fight you. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I don't watch that shit. | ||
| Because I think it's bad for you. | ||
| I think that it lowers your... | ||
| Vibration. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And when you're doing what you're doing, which is being – I think you're brilliant. | ||
| I'm not trying to be weird. | ||
| But you have this incredible mind and you share it with people and lots of different people and you have these situations. | ||
| It's really great to listen to and you're right. | ||
| People learn from it. | ||
| Well, I'm definitely not brilliant, but what I am is curious and I have a lot of free time. | ||
| Call it what you want. | ||
| I keep thinking about shit because I have the ability to do so. | ||
| I don't know if people were born to do anything in life. | ||
| I don't know if anybody was born to do anything in life. | ||
| But I think, for sure, if you follow your passion, you feel like you were born to do this. | ||
| For sure, if you actually do what you enjoy out of life. | ||
| And there was some really weak-ass article that somebody posted the other day that I'm sick and tired of rich people saying to follow your passion. | ||
| It was hilariously stupid. | ||
| Whatever dumbass wrote it, he actually had to change the title the next day because of a barrage of hate that he got from it. | ||
| But it was about Richard Branson and a bunch of people saying, follow your passion. | ||
| And he was saying essentially that most people shouldn't follow their passion. | ||
| And in fact, they should keep their passion as a hobby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because he's a weak bitch. | ||
| He's a weak bitch, and he's worried that he possibly wasted his life writing shitty articles like this. | ||
| And in fact, he did. | ||
| And he was also talking about how fortunate he is, personally, to do what he does, but all these self-deprecating throws to poverty in it, and all this nonsense in it. | ||
| Essentially what he was doing was he was writing a thing that was downplaying greatness and inspiration. | ||
| And when someone says follow your passion, you know, if anybody that says don't do that is a fucking idiot. | ||
| Because here's the thing. | ||
| If you love making guitars, okay, and you just love guitars, you love making guitars, and you say, God, I would love to make guitars for a living. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Someone! | |
| No one fucking does that, okay? | ||
| There's a guy out there and he gets up every morning and he makes fucking guitars. | ||
| And if that's what he loves to do, that guy loves life. | ||
| We're not talking about breathing underwater, fuckface. | ||
| We're not talking about flying to the moon with a fucking rubber band. | ||
| We're talking about making guitars. | ||
| If your passion is making guitars, and you read that asshole's article where it says don't follow your passion, fuck you, stupid. | ||
| Fuck you, you weak dummy, you fucking disease of ideas. | ||
| You're a disease idea. | ||
| That's what you are. | ||
| You're a rotten little weak man with poor hormones. | ||
| And you can't figure out that your passion doesn't necessarily mean rich. | ||
| I'm so tired of rich people saying, follow your passion. | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
| What difference does it make if they're rich? | ||
| Everyone should say follow your passion. | ||
| That's how buildings got made. | ||
| That's why airplanes were invented. | ||
| That's why you could watch fucking television. | ||
| Because someone followed their passion. | ||
| What happens when you read Lord of the Rings? | ||
| You're reading someone's passion! | ||
| You're wearing clothes. | ||
| You're wearing passion. | ||
| You're listening to music. | ||
| You're listening to passion. | ||
| I'm reading your stupid fucking article. | ||
| Your lack of passion is your passion. | ||
| Your lack of following your passion is what you're so passionate about portraying. | ||
| Shut up, dummy. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| I'm going to hold you down and I'll butter your scone, you fuckhead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no! | |
| It's too late. | ||
| They got you. | ||
| Who did it? | ||
| Did you do that right? | ||
| No, who's the name? | ||
| What's the name of it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Diego Peru 420. Powerful Diego Peru 420. And fuck you, dummy. | |
| Follow your passion guy again. | ||
| Honey, honey's following their passion. | ||
| I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. | ||
| I get the feeling you're still not watching this. | ||
| I don't really mean that guy. | ||
| I just point out, if that guy listens to this, Joe Rogan hates me. | ||
| He besmirched me. | ||
| I don't really hate that guy at all. | ||
| I would advise against further communications in that sort of thing. | ||
| Don't be a naysayer. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Let somebody have their fucking moment. | ||
| Let somebody fail if they're going to fail or succeed. | ||
| I understand his point. | ||
| I truly understand his point. | ||
| But, you know, I mean, but his, all of his, you know, I was talking, one of the things that Richard Brown said, you should have a couch in your kitchen. | ||
| And this guy was, like, taking issue with if your kitchen is big enough to have a couch in it. | ||
| Like, stop. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| That doesn't mean you're rich. | ||
| A lot of people can get a fucking couch in their kitchen. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| You know, like, I hate that real obvious pandering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, I can't afford to have a couch in my kitchen. | |
| My kitchen's not big enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, well, fucking whatever, dude. | ||
| You know, you're talking nonsense. | ||
| There's a better message than that. | ||
| It's not, you know, it's not don't follow your passions. | ||
| It's not you're better off keeping your passions as your hobby. | ||
| That is absolutely ridiculous. | ||
| And the only person that would say that... | ||
| Doesn't it have you guide any choice in life? | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| The only person that would say that is a person who hasn't followed their passions and doesn't make a living off of it. | ||
| Because if you can make a living off of it... | ||
| I do not work. | ||
| I don't work. | ||
| I don't have any jobs. | ||
| Even my jobs are not jobs. | ||
| And I'm not the only one. | ||
| I know people that make pool cues. | ||
| My friend Eric, he makes pool cues. | ||
| He makes beautiful pool cues. | ||
| He doesn't work. | ||
| I mean, he makes pool cues. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He makes them for free and gives them out to people sometimes because he loves doing it. | ||
| He loves wood. | ||
| He loves creating things. | ||
| He started doing it while he was in the military. | ||
| He did it as a hobby just for fun because he loves doing it. | ||
| And so when he's making money doing it, he's not really working. | ||
| What he's doing is following his passion. | ||
| And if you could figure out a way to do that for money, goddammit, why would you ever try to encourage someone to not do that? | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Even what we were talking about before, if you just start doing it, eventually the money is going to reveal itself. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| You know, the support. | ||
| Maybe it's not, you know, your whole lifestyle is being provided for, but you can do something with it. | ||
| Yeah, hopefully. | ||
| Unless you, like, make weird shit, like custom badminton rackets that nobody wants to buy. | ||
| I was going to say, like, toothpick teepees or something. | ||
| That's your passion. | ||
| Some days it's going to catch on. | ||
| People sell weird shit. | ||
| People do sell weird shit. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And sometimes weird shit's worth a lot of money. | ||
| Like I saw something, it was a Fabergé egg that someone found in like a garage sale or something like that, and it was worth like 10 million bucks. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pull that article up. | ||
| Fabergé egg found, they were like trying to collect scrap. | ||
| But I looked at it, I was like, oh my god, I wouldn't give you a dollar for that. | ||
| If you had that in my house, I'd fucking push it out the door. | ||
| You tried to leave that in the house, I was like, no, no, no, you can't leave this here. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Recently, I was a... | ||
| I saw this article on Beanie Babies, and it was worth like $10,000. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit, my grandmother sent us all these Beanie Babies. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Fabergé egg, worth up to $20 million, found by scrap metal dealer. | ||
| What are you going to do with it? | ||
| How is that worth $20 million? | ||
| I would put that in my bathroom. | ||
| That is so dumb. | ||
| The idea that that's worth $20 million. | ||
| It's so silly, but you know, you've got to let somebody have their passion. | ||
| Faberge egg, that's what I said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Booty traps. | ||
| I mean, I guess. | ||
| Maybe it's really beautiful up close. | ||
| So recently, I saw this article on Beanie Babies, and there's a collection in my parents' basement given to us by my grandparents when we were kids. | ||
| My grandma would send us the Princess Diana Beanie Baby, and there's like a hundred of them. | ||
| And so I was like, I was like, Ma, Ma, I'm gonna go in the basement. | ||
| I think I'm gonna make some money. | ||
| I was like, looking up all this shit, hoping I could sell something on eBay. | ||
| Because they were going for like $15,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| People would buy one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| But it had to be like, it was really weird. | ||
| It had to be like... | ||
| There would be like a technical flaw on the tag, and somebody out there would pay $15,000 for whatever. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Oh, because it was really rare? | ||
| Yeah, I didn't come up with anything good. | ||
| I was really bummed. | ||
| But I was downstairs in the basement for like an hour and a half trying to come up with something. | ||
| So the ones that you found, what do you think they were worth? | ||
| I'm a hustler. | ||
| Oh, nothing. | ||
| Maybe like $10. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| 10 bucks to 15 grand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| The sentimental value of my grandmother, Florence, Santa Sousa, is amazing. | ||
| I see. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| Yeah, she's great. | ||
| It is weird how things become like super worth money. | ||
| You know, very, very expensive and it doesn't make sense. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I saw a watch and it was $500,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And apparently it's this amazing hand-built watch, but it wasn't like covered in diamonds or anything like that. | ||
| It was just this amazing hand-crafted watch. | ||
| But it's still just a watch. | ||
| Just because it's handcrafted. | ||
| If someone gave you a handcrafted spoon, how much more would that be worth in a regular spoon? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It depends. | |
| Was the handcrafted spoon made by Jimi Hendrix? | ||
| Okay, that's a good point. | ||
| Then, fuck yeah, I'd be pumped about that spoon. | ||
| I'd pay a few grand for a handcrafted spoon made by Jimi Hendrix. | ||
| I would never eat soup without that spoon. | ||
| Yeah, that would be your spoon. | ||
| And you'd be mad if somebody bit it. | ||
| I'd wear that spoon around my neck. | ||
| Because I don't like guitars. | ||
| You'll find guitars for $200,000, $250,000. | ||
| But most of the people that buy them don't play them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Glass box. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Well, they're like legendary. | ||
| They're irreplaceable. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What is it, like a 55 gold top? | ||
| The 59 Les Paul Goldtop is worth a ridiculous amount of money. | ||
| How much? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It depends. | ||
| It always flexes, but you could probably sell one for like a hundred grand. | ||
| It's like that with old cars now. | ||
| You know, there's certain like old Barracudas that are worth over a million dollars. | ||
| And it's just a Plymouth, a shitty old Plymouth. | ||
| And the ones they want are the ones that are completely stocked. | ||
| Like, no new wheels, no new tires, no new interior, everything stock, everything from the factory, little push-button radio, and people will pay exorbitant amounts of money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's passion. | |
| Coming back to passion again. | ||
| There's a guitar. | ||
| You just have to find one person. | ||
| Oh, it's a 58. Oh, is that to say 59? | ||
| 59, yeah. | ||
| 59 less, Paul. | ||
| You just need one person to give enough of a shit to say that that's worth $100,000, and then it is. | ||
| Losing it, guys. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's like, as soon as it becomes a demand, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, this is a weird thing, especially if there's a finite amount. | ||
| Like, there's a finite amount of 1972 Volkswagens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you find a 1972 Volkswagen bug, there's only a few of those that were ever made. | ||
| You know, how many of them are there left? | ||
| You know, if you get a pristine one. | ||
| It becomes very valuable. | ||
| What's so interesting about that is that some people actually make a business out of just the taste-making trend-setting in general. | ||
| They might not even be a car maven, but they can be privy to the oncoming trend of... | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Totally. | ||
| All of a sudden, everybody wants those 79 or whatever you said Volkswagen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you could just be this trader. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| eBay middleman. | ||
| You don't mean traitor. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| You mean traitor. | ||
| Traitor. | ||
| Traitor. | ||
| Yeah, this is a sweet old Volkswagen. | ||
| My buddy Jimmy Lawless used to have one of those when we were 18, piled around in this fucking little tiny Volkswagen. | ||
| Was he named Jimmy Lawless at 18? | ||
| Yeah, his name was Jimmy Lawless his whole life. | ||
| That's pretty hardcore. | ||
| No, Jimmy was a good dude. | ||
| That's a badass name. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I was always jealous. | ||
| We've recently come across some great names. | ||
| I met somebody in England and his last name was Dragon. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Do you wake up every morning just feeling like you're fucking awesome? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Johnny Dragon. | |
| We met a Rocket, too. | ||
| Rocket! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There was a Rocket. | ||
| One of my best friends named Eddie Bravo. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, that guy's pretty cool. | ||
| Eddie Bravo's a ridiculous name. | ||
| People didn't believe it's a real name. | ||
| They're like, come on, son, that ain't your name. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's his fucking name. | ||
| Yeah, I was stuck with Joe. | ||
| Joe Rogan. | ||
| It's very boring. | ||
| No, it's a great name. | ||
| That's alright now. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| I made something out of it. | ||
| A lot of people know it. | ||
| It's not much. | ||
| It's easy to spell. | ||
| Schwarzenegger's the baddest motherfucker of all time because they came up to him and they told him, you gotta change that shit. | ||
| And he's like, I don't think so. | ||
| I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I changed my name. | |
| I keep it. | ||
| I shortened my last name. | ||
| What is the original? | ||
| Santa Suso. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, that's even better. | |
| When you go solo. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, why are you trying to drive a wedge in the band? | |
| Who's a bigger honey supporter than me? | ||
| I'd love the both of you guys together. | ||
| I'm bullshitting. | ||
| I just can't help it. | ||
| I can't help it. | ||
| I have bad instincts. | ||
| My comedian instincts. | ||
| They always say something fucked up. | ||
| I fight them all day. | ||
| I fight them all fucking day. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We've weathered the storms over the years. | ||
| It's been rough. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| It's been fucking rough. | ||
| Well, you guys get along remarkably well. | ||
| One of the things I really enjoy about hanging out with you guys is how, look, no one gets along 100% of the time. | ||
| It just doesn't work. | ||
| There's no human beings. | ||
| Whether it's mother and son, whether it's father and daughter, whether it's brothers and sisters, whether it's friends and neighbors, no one gets along 100% of the time. | ||
| There's going to be bumps. | ||
| But you guys are, you have a great energy about you. | ||
| Like, you guys are friends. | ||
| You guys are co-creators. | ||
| You're collaborators. | ||
| And, you know, you have a very unique bond because of that. | ||
| And it's interesting to pal around with you guys. | ||
| Like, to go to dinner with you and hang out with you. | ||
| Because your bond is, it's unique, but it's also very pure. | ||
| And that sounds gross to say that. | ||
| I hate my own words. | ||
| Well, we figured out a fight pretty early on. | ||
| Honestly. | ||
| You figured out how to fight with each other and not have it destroy. | ||
| Well, you don't insult each other. | ||
| I had a friend, we were having this conversation a while back. | ||
| He was talking about his wife, and he's like, everything's fine, but man, when we fight, we both go for the drugular right away. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| Yeah, and I go, what do you mean go for the jugular? | ||
| And he goes, well, you know, we know the one thing that really fucks with each other, so we automatically go to that. | ||
| And I go, okay, who's the first person that's doing that? | ||
| I don't want to say who it was. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I think in any situation where you're... | ||
| You're introduced to conflict. | ||
| Sometimes you want to fight. | ||
| You can be quick with your words, whatever, and say mean shit, but that's kind of pointless. | ||
| At the end of the day, usually you're fighting, depending on who you're fighting with, but it's your loved ones, at least in my disposition. | ||
| And I love them. | ||
| I don't want to hurt them. | ||
| So, when you approach a confrontation, in my opinion, this is something actually I really learned a lot. | ||
| My relationship with Ben in this band has made my other relationships in my life so much better because we had- Ebony and I. | ||
| Because we have to fight so hard for, sometimes, not all the time, for this union, for our project and what we care about so much. | ||
| And so you have to be a good listener, and you have to be humble, and you have to put your fucking foot in your mouth sometimes. | ||
| And when I approach a confrontation with my sister or my mom, my family and I, we love each other. | ||
| We love each other so much. | ||
| We fight hard. | ||
| And it sucks, and it's painful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| You fight, get angry at each other? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. | ||
| I'm not going to get into it, but stuff happens. | ||
| Have a couple more drinks. | ||
| What's your DPDs? | ||
| You fucking watch yourself. | ||
| But the point is that if you approach any conflict or confrontation, literally, and I'm not trying to be weird, with love, and you're like, I love this person, and you listen... | ||
| I think more often than not, you can really come to a resolve or just a better understanding of that person. | ||
| You will continue to learn more about people in your life. | ||
| It's not like you have this all-encompassing knowledge of somebody. | ||
| And that's the useful side of fighting, too, because then we're hammering shit out that makes us not get along. | ||
| Maybe we'll get along more in the future. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Figure out what it's been. | ||
| Maybe there's been something you've been doing. | ||
| Unless you like to fight, which sucks, and I don't. | ||
| Well, then you need to get away from those people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I had a girlfriend once that really liked to fight. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Well, you know, it's alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got rid of her. | |
| She had great sex though. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| She was a crazy bitch. | ||
| She liked to fuck. | ||
| But there was one moment where we're heading out to some party and I guess she was stressed out or something like that so she yelled at me like out of nowhere. | ||
| And this is the first time she ever yelled at me and I go, hey listen, we can't talk like this. | ||
| You can't have this conversation with me like this. | ||
| You're not allowed to yell at me. | ||
| I go, none of my friends yell at me. | ||
| No one yells at me. | ||
| I don't yell at them either. | ||
| I go, if you're my friend, I go, why would you yell at me? | ||
| You don't yell at me if you're more concerned with it just exploding, throwing up your own energy than you are with the repercussions it's going to have on the people around you. | ||
| That's an ultimately very selfish thing to do. | ||
| And I go, we can't ever talk like that. | ||
| And she just immediately deflated. | ||
| Like, all of her anger, like, went away. | ||
| It was a very weird moment, and we just sat down and we had a conversation. | ||
| But did you say it kind of in that tone? | ||
| Exactly in that tone. | ||
| Yeah, the tone is everything. | ||
| That's pretty powerful, man. | ||
| Tone is powerful. | ||
| Well, it was pretty powerful, but she couldn't help herself. | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| It was something in her childhood, because we wound up staying friends, but we broke up, and then she started dating some new guy, and... | ||
| She calls me up and she's like really frustrated. | ||
| She's really frustrated because she can't keep yelling at this. | ||
| She can't keep from yelling at this guy. | ||
| She keeps yelling at him and she doesn't know what to do. | ||
| She's like, I yell at him and he takes it and I fucking keep yelling at him and I don't know what to do. | ||
| He lets me bully him so I start fucking bullying him and I can't even stop myself. | ||
| You know, if you grow up with that, with yelling, and it's really funny. | ||
| My mom is awesome, but I grew up with a lot of yelling. | ||
| My mom yelled a lot, and I was bad. | ||
| But this is kind of hysterical. | ||
| We had a family bird. | ||
| It was a boy, but his name was Abby. | ||
| And he was an African gray. | ||
| And they're really smart. | ||
| They're really fucking smart animals. | ||
| And they repeat a lot of things. | ||
| And literally, my sisters, I grew up with, Carla and Jodi, the bird would go, Carla! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jody! | |
| And then it would go, Suzanne! | ||
| And it would have this total slur of screaming words that you couldn't understand, but it was pretty accurate. | ||
| Because I got yelled at a lot, and my mom would yell at me. | ||
| And so it was always this reminder, like when I would walk in the room, sometimes the bird would be like, Suzanne! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fucking dumb cunt! | |
| God, my mom never called me a cunt. | ||
| That would be horrible. | ||
| That would be a really bad thing. | ||
| She meant it, though. | ||
| Whatever the fucking noise she made, it's the same thing as calling you a cunt. | ||
| But it's funny. | ||
| We love each other so much, but we fought a lot. | ||
| Oh, that's rough. | ||
| But yeah, yelling is a difficult thing to... | ||
| As an adult now, it's really funny. | ||
| I went the other way. | ||
| My mom, she would just freeze me out. | ||
| So I just go into deep silence. | ||
| Oh, that's worse. | ||
| Sometimes it's better if someone has enough caring for you that they yell at you and fight with you. | ||
| You work it out. | ||
| Everybody gets tired at the end of working it out. | ||
| A lot of talking, yeah. | ||
| But this girl, she wasn't a bad person. | ||
| And growing up later and becoming a dad, I kind of really feel for her. | ||
| Because I think that what happened with this girl was she was just programmed in a really shitty way by dummies. | ||
| And she grew up in Florida, and there were a bunch of dummies around her. | ||
| Cereal capital of the United States? | ||
| Cereal killer capital? | ||
| Yeah, not cereal. | ||
| There's a lot of Coco Pops there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Captain Crunch by the fucking weirdos. | |
| You know, I think that's a lot of who we are. | ||
| It's like how we were programmed when we were young. | ||
| And this girl, she wasn't a bad person. | ||
| She was just battling with her programming as she was trying to be an actress, which, fucking good luck with all that. | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| Sorry, Ben, go ahead. | ||
| I was just going to say, isn't that what the neuroplasticity concept is? | ||
| You can change that stuff. | ||
| You can, but, you know, neuroplasticity is all nice and good, but if you're that fucked up, I recommend MDMA. I don't think that neuroplasticity is really going to fucking get you to the dance. | ||
| But what does that do? | ||
| Just kind of blast it all into pieces? | ||
| It makes you understand love in a weird, pure form, you know? | ||
| I mean, and people could say it's a drug, but that drug, by the way, exists in everyone's brain right now as we speak. | ||
| What you're dealing with with dopamine and MDMA is elevated dopamine levels, elevated feelings of love and passion and connection to each other. | ||
| Somebody sent me this video. | ||
| It's really kind of interesting. | ||
| You probably find it, Brian. | ||
| It's Joe Rogan talks indirectly about rave culture. | ||
| And it was me talking about setting up some sort of psychedelic community and that it would be incredibly beneficial to people to set up communities where we could figure out how to meet and everybody take something that would tune us all in to this sort of frequency of love. | ||
| And so someone took me talking about that and connected it to raves where if you look up at that screen, anytime you've seen a rave like this, 99.9% of those people are on ecstasy. | ||
| You're looking at 15,000 people that are in this huge football arena and they're dancing around and touching each other and having a great fucking time. | ||
| Why are they having such a great time? | ||
| How come they can get together and smoosh up like that and no one's a dick? | ||
| I'll tell you why. | ||
| Because they're all on ecstasy. | ||
| And when I say 99.999, there's that point whatever. | ||
| Those people are assholes. | ||
| There shouldn't be a dick. | ||
| But not necessarily... | ||
| Can I be honest with you? | ||
| I think that also... | ||
| I read this book on collective joy. | ||
| It's really interesting because... | ||
| Like, back to our primitive tribal selves, like, you know, when there would be, like, rain dances and the tribes would dance and they would all move together, you know, there would be this collective sort of consciousness that people would have coalescing between them. | ||
| And, like... | ||
| I recently have reconnected with dancing. | ||
| Like, I went to a party and there was a DJ and, you know, I had like a couple drinks, whatever, but like I wasn't on drugs at the time. | ||
| And, you know, rarely, but let's get into that later. | ||
| But the dancing, the movement with the sound is a powerful thing. | ||
| Drugs or no drugs. | ||
| And I think there's something really interesting about it as far as a collective, you know, group of people in harmony, you know? | ||
| As a comedian, that's what I essentially do for a living. | ||
| As a comedian, what you're doing is connecting all these minds together in some sort of a harmonious tribal function. | ||
| That's why the smaller the tribe, usually, generally, the better it works. | ||
| But one of the weird things about this connection with the Internet is that people are getting used to larger and larger numbers. | ||
| We've had shows with 3,000 plus people and it feels like it's intimate. | ||
| It feels intimate, like everyone's tuned in. | ||
| 3,000 people and they're all tuned in. | ||
| I mean directly tuned in, responsible, like they feel like they're a part of what's going on. | ||
| But when you really feel it more is when you can see everybody. | ||
| It's like 300 people is, I think, the number. | ||
| When you get above 300 people, things get squirrely. | ||
| You can handle it if the people are the right people, but most of the time you're better off with 300 people. | ||
| But what you're essentially doing is you're conducting a tribal bonding moment. | ||
| Everybody's experiencing the same vibe. | ||
| We had that moment in St. Paul. | ||
| We had a show last week in St. Paul, and every once in a while we just get to play to a group of about 300 people. | ||
| You know, being seated with our music helps because when we're a duo it's not really rhythmically heavy. | ||
| So you have a seated group of people and they're just so willing and kind of vulnerable to us taking charge and there's this energy that goes way beyond what we can do. | ||
| And all of a sudden, it's a show between us and them, and they're putting in more than we are. | ||
| And those experiences, I don't know, they haven't happened as often as we'd like, but they seem to be happening more, and it's an amazing feeling. | ||
| It's kind of a weightlessness when you're performing. | ||
| You don't have to think about it anymore. | ||
| We all need the audience. | ||
| For you and for comedians, I think we need it in a different way, but it's similarly important. | ||
| An audience is there to let you know that they're tuning in to all this work that you've done. | ||
| They get all the things that you've said. | ||
| They understand all the stuff that you've done. | ||
| You know, labored on and formed into these rhythmic sort of pieces, which is what a song really is. | ||
| And for comedians, it's not just like... | ||
| It's fucking 100% mandatory. | ||
| You can't even write it without them. | ||
| The writing changes when you're around them. | ||
| When they become a part of it and their laughter, each crowd you perform in front of helps shape the material. | ||
| It changes the material from week to week. | ||
| Without those other people, without the involvement of the other people, it really doesn't even exist. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I never think about this show, but I was just thinking about American Idol when we were talking about this. | ||
| You think about it every day, you fucking liar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, when is it going to be my time? | |
| I never think about this show. | ||
| Never! | ||
| I'm over the hill, man. | ||
| It's like a competition culture, and I think that fucks it up. | ||
| I think that fucks it up a lot. | ||
| It helps the people that make it, but it doesn't because then the fucking money just lines up. | ||
| What's that dude's name? | ||
| Pockets? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Simon? | ||
| I don't think he does it anymore, does he? | ||
| But he's in a giant mansion on the top of the hills. | ||
| I feel like we have talked about this before on the podcast, but it's important to bring up again. | ||
| And I think things like the American Idol microwave mentality is really toxic to people to have this... | ||
| You know, all of this stuff happening, you know, you won this thing. | ||
| It's like you won the lottery. | ||
| The lottery is, you know, more often than not, a really terrible thing for people. | ||
| And, you know, it's tough, you know. | ||
| Being a musician and then seeing that... | ||
| You know, we've had several... | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| We've had several invitations to be on these competitive shows. | ||
| And people are like, we really want you to be a part of it. | ||
| And it always just feels so wrong to me. | ||
| It always feels like you lose a lot to begin with. | ||
| The people that are involved want to take all of your publishing and stuff like that and own you in a way. | ||
| And that does kind of come back to what you were talking about before. | ||
| It's like, we want you to sound like this and do this and sing this. | ||
| And fuck that, you know? | ||
| But at the same time, not to talk about us, but just the mentality of the princess, like the fairy tale, is rough on people. | ||
| You know, I don't like it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I agree with you a thousand percent, but that's not a real number. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think that I entered a contest once in Boston, the WBCN Comedy Riot. | ||
| It was the only contest I ever entered. | ||
| I lost in the finals. | ||
| Oh, I was like, did you fucking slay it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| No, a nice guy won. | ||
| Can't begrudge the gentleman who won. | ||
| He was a very nice guy. | ||
| But it was just like, the idea of it was so silly. | ||
| I guess you can judge based on what's best for you. | ||
| What do you find the best? | ||
| But you can't have a music contest where you have a rap band and a country band and a rock band and a folk band. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| Because there's no best. | ||
| There's the best for you. | ||
| If it's me, it's very likely a rap band is never going to win. | ||
| There's a few rappers, unless it's like Nas or something like that. | ||
| There's a few rappers who really... | ||
| Who really connect with me, you know, where I really feel like I appreciate what they're doing as an art form. | ||
| Too much of it is just braggadocious nonsense, you know? | ||
| Well, hip-hop's tough, too, because it's just hard to hear what they're saying. | ||
| Yeah, what? | ||
| Yeah, what? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, what? | ||
| That's kind of what our new record is going to sound like. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Go with it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey, honey. | ||
| But it could be like some Dee Antwoord songs, you know, are fucking perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think you're freaky and I like it. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I love that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think you're freaky and I like it a lot. | |
| I love that crazy bitch. | ||
| Oh, we need to see some of these interviews with her because apparently she just reams out everyone who interviews her. | ||
| Yeah, that bitch is crazy. | ||
| I'll have her on the podcast. | ||
| We need to put on this whole, you know, tough exterior. | ||
| I'll tie that bitch up. | ||
| David chose friends with her. | ||
| He hangs out with them all the time. | ||
| Good, perfect. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's make it happen. | ||
| Those guys signed a shirt for me. | ||
| I got a shirt, a t-shirt from them. | ||
| That's pretty dope. | ||
| They're badass. | ||
| I love... | ||
| We saw them at Coachella. | ||
| Or I saw them at Coachella before we played. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're gangster. | ||
| They're pretty badass. | ||
| But, I mean, unless it's something really unique like that, it's hard for me to get into too much rap because it's just not my tune. | ||
| Whatever it is, it's not my frequency. | ||
| I'm a big fan of the Black Keys. | ||
| I'm a big fan of a band. | ||
| I don't know if you guys heard of them. | ||
| They're called Honey Honey. | ||
| What? | ||
| They're probably one of my favorites. | ||
| Sounds pretty lame. | ||
| No, it's not lame, but if a lot of your friends are around and they're like football players or something like that, don't play it in front of them. | ||
| Oh, upcoming tours. | ||
| They wind up, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey guys. | |
| Where are you guys at? | ||
| We're doing a little run in April. | ||
| I would like to offer you something right now. | ||
| You cannot say no. | ||
| I would like to tweet all of your dates. | ||
| Let me know any times you're anywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aw, man. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| I'd be more than happy. | ||
| I'd do it with everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Thank you, Joseph. | ||
| I'd do it with everybody and no one gets annoyed. | ||
| Everybody is happy about it because they find out... | ||
| We always think you're going to get annoyed. | ||
| We get weird about it. | ||
| Yeah, we feel weird asking for shit. | ||
| I don't get annoyed. | ||
| We just want to play pool and drink beers. | ||
| I barely drink. | ||
| I appreciate that you guys feel weird, but it's no work at all for me. | ||
| And I would probably feel weird if I was asking you. | ||
| So don't feel weird. | ||
| We'll tweet for you anytime. | ||
| How about we make a deal? | ||
| You fucking tweet for me too. | ||
| Done. | ||
| Are you tweeting me? | ||
| I'll tweet for you. | ||
| Let's make it happen, okay? | ||
| We made an agreement. | ||
| Look, it's on tape, so we can't go back on it. | ||
| Anytime you're anywhere, every time you're anywhere, unless I'm hunting in Alaska, which I will be doing soon, I'm going to the Brooks Range to fuck up a moose's day. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That deer is delicious. | ||
| Do you know how to butcher it? | ||
| What happens? | ||
| I know the whole deer. | ||
| What are you going to wear? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| That's all I'm doing, man. | ||
| All I'm doing these days is fucking every day I do podcasts, then I get home from podcasts, I shoot bows and arrows. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I shot 150 arrows yesterday with a 90-pound bow. | ||
| I'm not fucking around. | ||
| Can we come? | ||
| I want to go. | ||
| Fuck yeah, bitch. | ||
| Dude, I fucking love that shit. | ||
| Listen, both of you guys can come. | ||
| We've got to sing songs, though, and scare away the bears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll do it. | |
| I'll do it. | ||
| They hate our shit, which is weird. | ||
| Well, Steve Rinella, who's the host of this show that I do called The Meat Eater, I've done his show twice and I'm committing to doing it like four times a year where we go out and hunt. | ||
| It's an amazing show. | ||
| The guy's a brilliant author. | ||
| He's incredibly well read. | ||
| Just a brilliant guy who also happens to be a really badass hunter who is really into what they call fair chase hunting. | ||
| And the fair chase hunting is he won't hunt in a caged environment. | ||
| He's not going to hunt. | ||
| Even if it's 10,000 acres, if there's a fence up, he's not hunting there. | ||
| He will hunt wild land, mostly public land, but it has to be a wild animal. | ||
| And one of the things that we're trying to figure out is something we could do together. | ||
| My thought of what we can do together is take people who have never hunted before hunting, like Honey Honey. | ||
| Dude, I'm so down for that. | ||
| Are you down? | ||
| Would you like to hunt something ugly that people aren't really into, like pigs first? | ||
| It's a good one. | ||
| We heard that there's some crazy... | ||
| I love bacon. | ||
| I got a place. | ||
| And these dudes, there's like a culture of dudes up there who go out knife hunting boars. | ||
| I'm not going to force you guys to do that. | ||
| I'm not interested in that either. | ||
| Okay, that's fine. | ||
| But there's a place called Tejon Ranch, and we have a relationship with them, and they're only an hour and a half north of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my gosh. | |
| It's the biggest ranch in California. | ||
| 270,000 acres. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| And they have 50,000 pigs. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They're infested with pigs. | ||
| So wait, what is our weapon of choice? | ||
| Are we bow and arrow? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Are we rifling? | ||
| It takes a long time to get good with a bow and arrow. | ||
| Like hundreds and hundreds of hours. | ||
| I have a bow and arrow hunt scheduled for June. | ||
| I show stars. | ||
| One of the reasons... | ||
| Dude, if you killed a fucking wild pig with a shooting star, you'd be my new hero. | ||
| I wouldn't suck your dick, but I'd let you lay it on my forehead and take a picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fine. | |
| I'd probably get me there, to be honest. | ||
| You must train. | ||
| But it's really hard to fucking... | ||
| It's really hard to shoot a pig with a bow and arrow. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| With a throwing knife, it's virtually impossible. | ||
| With a star, goddammit, you're talking fantasy. | ||
| But with a rifle, we can get the job done. | ||
| With a rifle, it's not hard at all. | ||
| We've shot some rifles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You need a really good hunting rifle and a good guide, but this place, Tejon Ranch, is, like I said, an hour and a half north of L.A., and it's enormous. | ||
| And it's all wild. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| There's no fences. | ||
| It's just a huge piece of property that these animals congregate on. | ||
| So do you hunt at night? | ||
| No, during the day. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's illegal to hunt at night. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And hard to see also. | ||
| I just thought I'd create another challenge. | ||
| Well, you can use night vision. | ||
| Night vision? | ||
| Did you go night vision on that shit? | ||
| In Texas, they do. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I've never actually hunted. | ||
| I've been thinking about it, though, honestly, because I started eating meat again, and I just realized, like, if I'm willing to take this shit shrink-wrapped from a freezer in a store, I need to be okay with killing this. | ||
| Well, while we speak, I have a ham that's brining that I shot a couple of months ago. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| I shot a pig, yeah. | ||
| Holy shit, Joe, that's amazing. | ||
| At Tejon Ranch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I shot that deer, too, that head right in front of you. | ||
| It's beautiful! | ||
| I would put that on my wall. | ||
| It was slightly more beautiful when it was wandering around, but way more delicious after it's boned out. | ||
| Did you bleach it and do all that? | ||
| No, I brought it to a guy who does that professionally, and they take the brains out and bleach it down. | ||
| You don't want to keep some stinky brains. | ||
| Yeah, that's pretty gross. | ||
| You know how they do it? | ||
| They use a type of bug that they use to clean off cadaver bones. | ||
| It's called a super worm. | ||
| I know about this because we actually fed it to people on Fear Factor. | ||
| I did know that! | ||
| Oh man, that's fucked up. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| It takes a while, too. | ||
| They leave the skull with these superworms for quite a while, and they just go to work, and they chew off every single ounce of flesh. | ||
| You take the skull, you put it into... | ||
| How long does that take? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it takes a few weeks. | ||
| The worms eat. | ||
| No, but I mean, so then they have this skull. | ||
| They move on to the next skull. | ||
| Then the next guy's got a fucking loose head. | ||
| So they have their superworm 18 that just goes from cadaver to cadaver? | ||
| Well, there's this thing that they do where you can get a head mounted after you shoot a deer, like a trophy. | ||
| You can get it mounted, and they take it, and they put glass eyes in it, and they leave the skin on, and they do a taxidermy thing, which is a little odd. | ||
| So where were you when you shot this guy? | ||
| This guy? | ||
| Which one? | ||
| This guy right here. | ||
| Oh, the predator? | ||
| That's a friend of mine's buddy. | ||
| I got him tickets for the UFC. I wish I could remember his name off the top of my head. | ||
| I want to say Steve. | ||
| He's a special effects guy. | ||
| And the guy, Pat McGee, did the American Werewolf that's out in the front area. | ||
| You're going to be going up against those. | ||
| Alaska? | ||
| No. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| This show, Meat Eater, they know exactly what they're doing. | ||
| They know where to go. | ||
| You're always going to deal with bears, but you just have to make sure that you scare them off and keep an eye on them. | ||
| And there's a lot of guys with guns. | ||
| You don't want to hurt the bears, but you don't want the bears stealing your caribou. | ||
| You've got to be real careful. | ||
| Well, it's not even fucking, what is that, 20 worst pieces of terrible taxidermy? | ||
| Yeah, there's like cross-eyed. | ||
| That's fucking Look at that puma. | ||
| That puma came near me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello. | |
| Hey. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| You know where the bus stop is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's awful. | |
| What the hell? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| Look at that cat. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| Some people mix them together, too. | ||
| Suzanne, when you get back, we're going to sing some songs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's a guy who shot the front legs out with a fucking missile. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, guys! | |
| I mean, it's a weird thing. | ||
| I would never shoot an animal just to make a trophy out of it. | ||
| Never. | ||
| In a million years. | ||
| But if I found an animal in my backyard and it was dangerous and I shot it and they said, do you want to make a trophy out of it? | ||
| I'd be like, fuck yeah. | ||
| It's all about context. | ||
| That wolf is ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi, guys. | |
| Here for the party. | ||
| Do you know that there's a concern right now that wolves might eventually start to re-emerge in Paris? | ||
| I've not heard that. | ||
| They're starting to make their way closer and closer towards Paris, and they're really worried right now that there might be a moment in the somewhat near future when wolves once again are in Paris. | ||
| How are they going to last? | ||
| Well, that's the crazy thing, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just get moved down. | |
| They kill people. | ||
| Wolves killed like 40 people in Paris in the 1400s. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a famous incident. | ||
| I'll pull it up right now. | ||
| The Wolves of Paris. | ||
| There's a few books about it also. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking scary as shit, dude. | ||
| I mean, is that where American Werewolf in Paris comes from? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's because the American Werewolf in London needed a sequel. | ||
| Look at this cover! | ||
| That's a beautiful little cutie pie. | ||
| And I love wolves. | ||
| People are like, oh, you're fucking, you want to kill all the wolves. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I love wolves. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I love wolves out there being all wolfy. | ||
| My problem is when wolves come anywhere near people I care about, I want them dead! | ||
| I want their family dead! | ||
| Who's the shirtless dude? | ||
| Wolves in Paris. | ||
| The other guy's got a little tiny little coyote dick he's trying to pass off as a wolf. | ||
| Wolves of Paris. | ||
| Is that his band or his book? | ||
| I think it's a book. | ||
| It's a sequel to Fifty Shades of Purple that comes out after Fifty Shades of Grey. | ||
| They run out of shit to talk about with colors, so they go with animals. | ||
| Wolves of Paris. | ||
| When I was in Paris, he had a wolf amulet on. | ||
| He ball gagged me. | ||
| Yeah, so you missed a lot. | ||
| In Paris, in 1450, 40 human beings were killed by wolves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus! | |
| Yeah, we were talking about wolves. | ||
| No, regular wolves. | ||
| There's an issue right now where wolves are getting closer and closer to Paris, and they're worried about wolves re-emerging in Paris because they have very strict environmental... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Present day? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they have very strict environmental rules. | ||
| As far as animals you're allowed to kill and not kill, and wolves... | ||
| What kind of wolves? | ||
| Like the regular kind? | ||
| Like timber wolves? | ||
| Well, there's really only one kind of wolf. | ||
| I got explained that by this guy Steve Rinella that I do this hunting show with. | ||
| Like pigs. | ||
| There's only one kind of pig. | ||
| When you talk about wild pigs, there is literally only one type of pig. | ||
| Wild or domestic is the same thing. | ||
| It's called suscroffa. | ||
| That's the type of animal. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| But wolves, same thing. | ||
| There's just wolves. | ||
| Gray wolf, timber wolf. | ||
| It's essentially like the difference between human beings. | ||
| There's human beings that live in Jamaica. | ||
| There's human beings that live in Tennessee. | ||
| Different colors, what have you. | ||
| But they're just human beings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| Bus sizes. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They have bigger dicks. | ||
| Wolves, that was one of the issues with wolves that were brought in from Canada. | ||
| Because they brought in wolves to Canada and they repopulated Yellowstone. | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of other places. | ||
| Did we play that, Jamie? | ||
| We did play that. | ||
| Wolves change rivers. | ||
| Did we play that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, we did. | ||
| There's a great documentary for those who have not seen it. | ||
| It's called Wolves Change the Course of Rivers in Yellowstone. | ||
| And it's amazing. | ||
| And it's fascinating how just the reintroduction of wolves to... | ||
| Yellowstone National Park has actually changed the way the rivers flow. | ||
| It's fucking incredible shit. | ||
| I'm not anti-wolf. | ||
| I'm not anti-anything. | ||
| I am not anti... | ||
| I talk shit, okay? | ||
| I don't mean what I say. | ||
| People need to understand that. | ||
| I'm really happy to know that the wolves are repopulating. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I hope they die in a fire. | ||
| Wolves are one of my spirit animals. | ||
| Cunty little shitty dogs that want to eat babies. | ||
| You say that unless you were alone with a wolf. | ||
| I am a lone wolf, don't you know? | ||
| You're like Chuck Norris and Lone Wolf McQuaid. | ||
| I have an affinity for birds of prey and wolves and things like that. | ||
| Have you ever met an eagle in the wild? | ||
| No, but I would freak out. | ||
| I love them so much. | ||
| What's so funny? | ||
| Have you ever met an eagle in the wild? | ||
| I can't wait until the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know it's going to happen one day. | |
| Are you going to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? | ||
| I have. | ||
| I sure have. | ||
| I will say no more. | ||
| An eagle in the wild is very different than an eagle that's in a zoo. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I've never seen an eagle in the wild. | ||
| I've seen many flying around. | ||
| Fucking Brian. | ||
| Growing up. | ||
| Mocking my work. | ||
| I have a lot of family in Minnesota. | ||
| They don't have eagles in Minnesota. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| They call themselves eagles. | ||
| Come on, Rogan. | ||
| They're like gang members in fucking Irvine. | ||
| That's like the eagle capital. | ||
| I don't think it's the eagle capital. | ||
| I was in Alaska with Ari Shafir. | ||
| We went salmon fishing. | ||
| We saw a bunch of eagles. | ||
| It was fucking freaky. | ||
| Did you call any to your arm, your outstretched arm? | ||
| Oh, there's none of that going on, dude. | ||
| They'll eat your face. | ||
| The only thing they're looking at you is like, can I carry this guy away? | ||
| Hmm, too big. | ||
| If you were a baby, they would fucking eat your asshole. | ||
| Eagles are essentially dinosaurs that made it. | ||
| That's all they are. | ||
| What do you think about the Oculus Rift app purchased by Facebook? | ||
| Isn't that great? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I'm very fucking excited about that, actually. | ||
| I'm just excited that there's more financial resources behind the process of Oculus Rift. | ||
| Rather, not the process, the technology. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Facebook seems cool. | ||
| One of the things we were talking about recently that I find very encouraging about this new tech money is that these guys, whether it's the Google people or the Facebook people, they seem ethical. | ||
| You know, they seem, they're making a shitload of money, but their intentions seem fairly pure. | ||
| Yeah, and it's gotten more serious just from this purchase, where before it was still kind of like, you know, not many people knew about it. | ||
| Not a fringy. | ||
| Yeah, now it's, you know, everyone's going to know about this in a couple years, so I think it's good. | ||
| I couldn't agree more. | ||
| I couldn't agree more. | ||
| I love that fucking Zuckerberg fucking weirdo. | ||
| Yeah, I think he's beautiful. | ||
| I'll give him a kiss right in the mouth if he's in the room. | ||
| You have a Facebook page, Joe? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I have a fan page. | ||
| I can't respond to emails, so please don't. | ||
| I just can't get into the habit. | ||
| Not to you. | ||
| I'm not saying that to you. | ||
| I'm saying that to other people. | ||
| Please don't, Ben. | ||
| I'm tired of your fucking emailing me, dude. | ||
| Joe, what are you doing now? | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| Are you hunting now? | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| Let me show you my knife. | ||
| Is that a euphemism? | ||
| Do I have to? | ||
| Let me show you my blade. | ||
| Show you my pocket knife. | ||
| Why, it's shaped like an elephant's trunk. | ||
| It's dull, but it'll cut your soul. | ||
| Effective. | ||
| Vaguely effective. | ||
| What are you guys going to play? | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| We're going to play a song called Big Man. | ||
| My Good Friends, the only band I've ever worked with ever in real life. | ||
| What are you going to play? | ||
| Big Man? | ||
| That's the song we're going to play. | ||
| Oh yeah, Real Life. | ||
| When are you going to play with us, Joe? | ||
| When are you going to play some drums? | ||
| I feel like you could get some drums together. | ||
| I want to just watch. | ||
| I don't do too many things. | ||
| I'm not playing any drums. | ||
| Supergroup. | ||
| Bet you're playing mean skin flute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Words. | |
| Come on. | ||
| The penis. | ||
| Obvious here. | ||
| Is this okay, guys? | ||
| Hit it. | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| Where are these? | ||
| Hey, hey, hey! | ||
| How's that work? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll go. | |
| Ready? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, how they cry When the big man died They spilled buckets out their eyes. | ||
| Playing white faces and playing grey stones. | ||
| He took that white cocaine up his nose Sing for that big man, baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone That won't bring him back to life now | ||
| When he went down, there was a trembling pool Then they came far and wide to the funeral. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When the people showed up, they were broken willed. | |
| They drank all day and For that big man, baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone But now I won't bring him back to life now I | ||
| You can cry your head off, baby Let it roll right off your bones It's all part of some big plan, baby But no one should ever die long No one should ever die long | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bones buried young, bones buried deep | |
| Bones that won't shake Now lay to sleep And he looks down Oh, he looks up He was a good man That was enough Sing for that big man, | ||
|
unidentified
|
baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone That won't bring him back to life now Sing for that big man, baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone That won't bring him back to life now God damn! | |
| That was fucking awesome. | ||
| I thought it was awesome. | ||
| That's a beautiful song. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Is that one of the ones that's going to be in the new special? | ||
| Yeah, that's what we're shooting for. | ||
| Do you guys have a name? | ||
| For the record? | ||
| For the record? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No? | ||
| Not yet, but we're open to ideas. | ||
| But, you know, can I be honest? | ||
| We're really... | ||
| We're working with a new dude this weekend. | ||
| That's why we're here. | ||
| A new producer? | ||
| Yeah, and we're really, really honored and excited that he really wants to work with us. | ||
| And it's kind of, sort of like a trial run. | ||
| So fingers crossed, he's our guy. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's fucking hard. | ||
| Listen, I know it is. | ||
| It's easy for me to say I know it's hard, but I've watched you guys. | ||
| I at least know from observing your struggle, and I have friends that are musicians, and I have friends like Everlast who's made it, and friends who are still struggling. | ||
| I know it's a crazy business. | ||
| It ain't easy. | ||
| You know, but you guys are talented as fuck, and I'll buy your shit all day. | ||
| You know, I'm honored to be friends with you guys, but if I wasn't friends with you guys, I would buy the fucking shit out of your music. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I became a fan when I saw that Angel of Death acoustic version that you guys did on a roof somewhere. | ||
| Here in L.A., back in the Disneyland. | ||
| It's so cool that you can find someone like that. | ||
| I can see you guys on this video. | ||
| And then we can connect. | ||
| Yeah, and then all of a sudden we're hanging. | ||
| We're friends. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| We live in awesome times, man. | ||
| It's just beautiful. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| And there was no middleman. | ||
| We all made that happen together, you know? | ||
| Just great. | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| That's what's been happening more and more, too, is being able to just talk to the people who are supporting us. | ||
| Why don't we do a Honey Honey podcast? | ||
| Why don't you guys start doing a podcast? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Talking to the mic. | ||
| Yeah, especially when you guys are on the road, you could just put two mics and do it in a hotel room. | ||
| Like, Suzanne, I saw that little thing you did where you were interviewing the cat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut the fuck up! | |
| I saw that! | ||
| Bruce Wayne! | ||
| Yeah, I saw you interviewing the cat. | ||
| That's my little homeboy. | ||
| That was before we ever met. | ||
| We got some ridiculous shit. | ||
| We used to do some fun stuff. | ||
| We should fucking do that again. | ||
| Before we ever met, I saw that. | ||
| And I was like, these are like some really genuine people. | ||
| I'm like, you guys are cool. | ||
| Because I think there's a weird thing that everyone does, including me, who's met... | ||
| I've met a lot of people that are on television or a lot of people that are... | ||
| You know, artists or, you know, musicians or actors or comedians or whatever. | ||
| I met a lot of people with varied responses. | ||
| It's like sometimes you meet them and you're bummed out that you met them. | ||
| And then sometimes you meet them and you're like, wow, these people are pretty fucking badass. | ||
| I get kind of squeamish when there's somebody I really, really like and I know I'm going to meet them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like with Cheryl, I was like, oh God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please be nice. | |
| Which turned out to be fucking awesome, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And sometimes you just have to like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to sort of just accept, like sometimes the musicians or actors or whatever, you love their work, and then they turn out to be a douche. | ||
| You could still love their work. | ||
| It's just, you know, you have to separate it, you know? | ||
| Yeah, and it's not saying that they have to be that way either. | ||
| It's just, it's also saying that... | ||
| If you meet a guy or a girl and they're just extraordinarily talented but incredibly troubled, you've got to realize that there's like a balance going on with human beings. | ||
| There's this weird balance and it doesn't always work out right. | ||
| You know what's interesting though? | ||
| It's shifting a lot more. | ||
| You know, you get people like Jimmy Fallon, who are these, like, I love Jimmy Fallon. | ||
| He's a sweetie. | ||
| He's creating this realm of, like, joy, comedy, like, brilliant shit, you know? | ||
| And, like, he's got this, like, great childhood, like, this great family he loves. | ||
| Well, he seems like a sweet guy, too. | ||
| Yeah, and I think there's room for that. | ||
| You don't have to be fucked up to be an artist anymore, you know? | ||
| And you never really did. | ||
| Are you calling Jimmy Fallon an artist? | ||
| You gotta slow the fucking horse down. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| That guy's a shit. | ||
| Of course he's an artist. | ||
| Nobody does a better Neil Young impression than Jimmy Fallon. | ||
| Well, I also think that he's probably, I mean, he's probably one of the best talk show hosts ever. | ||
| He really cares. | ||
| You can just tell. | ||
| He is a genuine guy. | ||
| There's this coming off of him. | ||
| He seems like a genuinely nice guy. | ||
| And so is Jimmy Kimmel, by the way. | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel is a genuinely nice guy. | ||
| He's a sweetheart. | ||
| I heard someone said something about Jimmy Kimmel. | ||
| He was a dick to Rob Ford. | ||
| Okay, come on, man. | ||
| The guy's fucking the Toronto mayor, and he smokes crack. | ||
| If you only have seven minutes with that guy, I'm sorry, but we gotta get down to business. | ||
| I can't allow you to fucking talk about your favorite football team for six minutes and then, hey, what about that crack thing? | ||
| We gotta get busy right away. | ||
| And if it looks like I'm being a dick, I'm so sorry, but you smoke crack. | ||
| You're the fucking mayor of Toronto, son! | ||
| Come on, you gotta give up a certain amount of decorum when you're addressing such issues. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta hand it to Jimmy Kimmel where he interviewed Jay Leno after the night show swap. | ||
| I thought that was incredible, man. | ||
| Well, you know what, man? | ||
| Jimmy Kimmel let Jay Leno know what the fuck is up. | ||
| That's what he did. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta hand it to somebody who's gonna, like, have the balls to go to real town, you know? | ||
| My only problem with that is that Jay Leno was also being sort of, in a sense, enabled or thrust into that situation by the network. | ||
| Because the network, why would the network change everything around if they didn't want to? | ||
| I mean, like, why are you getting upset? | ||
| Like, if Conan O'Brien went into that position and then all of a sudden the fucking show exploded and became this monster mega hit that everybody thought it would be, then there would be no discussion with Jay Leonard to go back and take over The Tonight Show. | ||
| So then there'd be no discussion about falling back on his word or, like, you know, what did you say? | ||
| It was all weird. | ||
| It was, you know, in a little bit of a way. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think it's awkward. | |
| When you're dealing with those fucking weird sort of talk show host situations, you know, you're dealing with those weird... | ||
| Like, the battle between, you know, this guy and that guy, and they're gonna, who's the best, and like that, you see that talk show war show with Letterman and Jay Leno, where it shows how Letterman and Jay Leno were, like, battling with each other, and Letterman always wanted to do the Tonight Show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Late Night, I think. | |
| What was it called, Late Night? | ||
| I think it was called Late Night. | ||
| And Jay Leno hid in the closet and heard these NBC executives plotting against him while he was in the closet. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So he knew what to say to them. | ||
| He knew how to fuck with them, to let them know. | ||
| So he did a bug sweep of the room to try to find the bug. | ||
| He was hiding in the closet. | ||
| Hilarious, really. | ||
| But... | ||
| It doesn't seem like that's the right way to do it. | ||
| And I like that what Jimmy Kimmel did was stand up for another talk show host. | ||
| And just say the shit that everyone was thinking. | ||
| I just like it when that happens with public. | ||
| I just love that he decided that it was something that he wanted to do. | ||
| I love that he's so strongly in support Of Conan that he decided to show solidarity in his interview with Jay Leno. | ||
| You use this word genuine a bunch of times. | ||
| I think that's like the fucking nucleus of all this stuff, like of the podcast, of your genuine conversations and your genuine messages and stuff like that. | ||
| There's a lot of interesting things happening like Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you get somebody who's not afraid to speak the truth. | ||
| That's really powerful shit. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
| Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. | ||
| I think you have the sense that they like themselves. | ||
| They're happy with who they are. | ||
| They're not dissatisfied. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they should. | |
| Everybody should. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Everybody should. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But Jimmy Kimmel, when I took over the Man Show with Doug Stanhope, he could have been a total dick about that. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| He could have been rude. | ||
| He could have made fun of us. | ||
| And it didn't turn out well. | ||
| It turned out to be a disaster. | ||
| I didn't know that he had a bad relationship with the people that were producing it. | ||
| They had real issues. | ||
| Legal issues, issues over content, issues over ownership. | ||
| There was a lot of bullshit that went down, apparently. | ||
| I don't know the real roots behind it, but I didn't know that. | ||
| I thought these guys just didn't want to do it anymore, and now we can do it. | ||
| And I didn't talk to them about it, but he was never a dick about it, not even a little bit. | ||
| He sent me an email, was very friendly about it. | ||
| The possibility to be a douchebag was there, and he would have been right. | ||
| And he chose not to do it. | ||
| He would have been right. | ||
| But he wouldn't have even been a douchebag. | ||
| He would just make it something that it wasn't. | ||
| I've always respected that guy, but I've respected him even more because of that. | ||
| Because if I was in his position, I might make fun of me. | ||
| I might be shitty to me. | ||
| And when I did his show, he was super cool after the fact. | ||
| I apologize to him for doing a shitty version of the Man Show. | ||
| But there was no animosity. | ||
| He's just a good guy. | ||
| You can tell that. | ||
| That somehow or another gets through the TV. It gets through the wires. | ||
| It reaches you. | ||
| Somehow or another it gets in there. | ||
| And I don't know how much of that you can fake. | ||
| You know, you can fake something. | ||
| You can fake a smidgen, a smidge here or there. | ||
| But a genuine niceness, like that Jimmy Fallon exudes. | ||
| Damn, I don't know if an asshole knows how to do that, you know? | ||
| I don't know if an asshole knows how to hit that frequency. | ||
| Did you guys see the video of them, of U2 and Jimmy Fallon on the opening night? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Listen, one of the most transformative moments of my life over the last year was falling asleep on the couch. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| I worked out, I had something to eat, and I was sitting on the couch. | ||
| And a lot of times, I watched like... | ||
| I watched, like, bow hunting shows, or I watched MMA fights. | ||
| I'm a fucking caveman. | ||
| If you came over and looked at my DVR, you'd be like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| I just like what I like, okay? | ||
| I'm not judging myself. | ||
| But I fell asleep. | ||
| And I woke up, and it was the premiere of the Jimmy Fallon first season, first episode of The Tonight Show. | ||
| And as I woke up, U2 was singing the acapella version of Ordinary Love, or acoustic version, rather, of Ordinary Love. | ||
| And, Jamie, pull it up. | ||
| Is that from the Frozen soundtrack? | ||
| U2 on Ha Ha Ha. | ||
| Is it, though? | ||
| No. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| It's a brilliant new song from U2. But it's not just that it's brilliant. | ||
| It's one of those moments where you're watching in Bono. | ||
| You're watching just a fucking brilliant artist. | ||
| Say what you want about that guy. | ||
| Say what you want about his political ties and his charitable causes and his sunglasses indoors at night. | ||
| Say what you want about that guy. | ||
| That guy is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| And whatever it is out there that makes things great, whatever it is where you're watching Pink singing while she's spiraling around over an audience and never losing tune and knowing that it's completely live, or whether it's Bono sitting on that fucking couch and you two behind him playing and Jimmy Fallon is sitting there and Will Smith is sitting there and It's so undeniably brilliant that I | ||
| woke up from a nap sitting on the couch to woke up just in time for them to be joking around and then go into that song. | ||
| Like, the universe wanted me to see this. | ||
| It's fucking perfect. | ||
| It's a perfect moment of entertainment. | ||
| It has perfect music. | ||
| It has a perfect response. | ||
| It has a perfect moment being the premiere of Jimmy Fallon's version of The Tonight Show. | ||
| It has perfect being one of the greatest actors ever. | ||
| Will Smith is sitting there. | ||
| A huge fucking movie star. | ||
| People who don't think he's a badass motherfucker have never seen him play Muhammad Ali. | ||
| The audience is standing up and they're all on their feet screaming. | ||
| There's not a guy with a sign, stand up, stand up, clap, applaud. | ||
| Like if you go to those, like if you go to Tonight Shows, Chapin, at least the old ones, they used to have a guy who would tell you when to applaud. | ||
| There's like signs would light up or a guy would like hold up a sign. | ||
| That was some beautiful shit, right? | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| And I love the roots. | ||
| God damn, I love them. | ||
| I love the band. | ||
| I love Jimmy Fallon. | ||
| But I love that moment. | ||
| That moment. | ||
| I'll never forget that. | ||
| Sitting by myself. | ||
| Gym shorts. | ||
| I'm still sweaty, like staring at the TV, and it comes on, and I'm just like, God damn, I just saw something. | ||
| I just saw a fucking shooting star. | ||
| I saw an asteroid hit. | ||
| I saw some freaky shit, you know? | ||
| I mean, that's crazier than an asteroid. | ||
| That's only happened once. | ||
| Asteroids have hit the Earth many times, you know? | ||
| You know, I mean, how many fucking, how many times has there been a big hole slammed into in the earth because a rock fell from the sky? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| How many times has U2 been on the Jimmy Fallon show? | ||
| Once. | ||
| U2 was on the Jimmy Fallon show one time ever. | ||
| And it was the first time. | ||
| There's only one first time ever in the whole universe that U2 is going to be on the Jimmy Fallon show. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Unless you believe in true infinity. | ||
| And that's the monkey wrench. | ||
| Because true infinity means if there is a you, that the world is what you see. | ||
| Everything exists in the exact same form. | ||
| Not only once, but infinitely. | ||
| So not only are there so many possibilities in the concept of infinity. | ||
| Infinity meaning infinite possibilities. | ||
| We can't even imagine what that means. | ||
| What that means is that everything that you've ever experienced, everything that I've ever experienced, you looking exactly like you, you looking exactly like you, you with the same creepy dude who tried to sneak you into the woods to see a fucking largemouth bass, All of that exists in the exact same order, in the exact same form, in an infinite number of times. | ||
| So that's how crazy infinity is. | ||
| Wrap your fucking head around that. | ||
| I'm trying to. | ||
| I'm like, wait a second. | ||
| So somewhere out there, it's not just one right there. | ||
| Not only that, U2 is playing... | ||
| You're not supposed to say U2. It's like U2. I say it like U2. Shouldn't say it that way. | ||
| But U2 right now is probably playing an infinite amount of times all over the universe and at the exact same moment. | ||
| At the exact same moment, the exact same words are coming out of the exact same mouth. | ||
| That experience, everything that has ever happened, the idea of that never happening again... | ||
| Like there's something that looks exactly like you on the other side of the world? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| Not on the other side of the world, but on the other side of the universe. | ||
| The idea of everything that has ever happened being unique in comparison to the creation of the world is so preposterous. | ||
| the idea that we're so fucking important because we are able of saying capable of talking capable of explaining how important we are but the idea that we are any weirder than a black hole or a sun i mean it's ridiculous so the idea of human civilization happening in the exact same order everywhere would be like how is that possible but how would it be possible for there to be other That's way crazier. | ||
| And there's a fucking shit ton of those, dude. | ||
| How would it be possible that there's water in space? | ||
| Oh, there's a lot of it. | ||
| In fact, that's what you're seeing when you see a comet, stupid. | ||
| You're seeing water flying off the back of that thing. | ||
| That's water! | ||
| That's a fucking Earth-sized chunk of water flying through space. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| You know, yeah, the whole thing is nuts. | ||
| It's not nuts that you don't exist not just once but an infinite amount of times. | ||
| That's more likely than a star. | ||
| That's more likely than a black hole. | ||
| That's more likely than just the idea of people breathing air and staying alive and fish sucking air out of water and some fucking weird contraption called gills. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| All of it's nuts. | ||
| The fact that it exists the same place in the same form all over the universe in an infinite amount of times in exactly the same order. | ||
| That seems like likely. | ||
| If you think how nuts it is. | ||
| That's why when you see a moment like U2 on the Jimmy Fallon show singing that song, you're witnessing a universal, unique moment. | ||
| Universal through everything, through the whole thing. | ||
| That feeling you get when you get goosebumps, the whole universe got goosebumps for that. | ||
| Well, it's interesting that you woke up for it. | ||
| It's like you're in tune with that kind of thing. | ||
| No, I got lucky. | ||
| I probably had a pee. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| I drank a lot of coconut water. | ||
| I drank some of that delicious C2O coconut water. | ||
| I probably had a pee. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| But maybe not. | ||
| I mean, I'm not convinced that reality is real. | ||
| I'm not convinced you guys are even here. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| No, no, we're not. | ||
| All this YouTube internet stuff is kind of an approximation of it, isn't it? | ||
| Because now we can. | ||
| We just watched it again, and we're experiencing it in a different way, but that moment has been captured, and that moment can now repeat itself in our controlled medium, right? | ||
| So maybe this is us piecing together all these things that you're talking about. | ||
| I hope if you see it, the first time you see it, it's before I said anything about it to you. | ||
| The last thing I want is to flavor that moment with my own... | ||
| I think that was just a tremendous performance. | ||
| If somebody sees it and you hear me talking about it, shut it off and go watch the real thing. | ||
| If somebody puts it on YouTube, watch the real thing. | ||
| We could be flavored by something. | ||
| Might as well be flavored by Joe. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Maybe salt would be better. | ||
| Salt and a little cumin. | ||
| It's really good for you. | ||
| It's anti-inflammatory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| But, you know, do you guys feel those moments on stage and realize that you're tapping into something unique when that happens? | ||
| When you hit that... | ||
| You know, we were talking about it when we were playing pool. | ||
| Sometimes you just hit this weird stride where everything's just falling into place and it feels automatic. | ||
| And you know there's that moment, I'm sure, it's got to be very similar to the moment like that in comedy with your music. | ||
| There's got to be moments where you guys are just flowing. | ||
| There was a moment, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but there was a moment where... | ||
| You were on stage, and you were singing, and it was at the December 21st show, the 2012 End of the World show, and both Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo came off stage, and they both, at the same time, go, that's a badass bitch! | ||
| That's a badass bitch! | ||
| That's a badass bitch, Eddie Bravo! | ||
| That's a badass bitch! | ||
| Goddamn, those motherfuckers are talented! | ||
| And Eddie's like, that's a badass bitch! | ||
| Goddamn, those guys are talented! | ||
| Damn! | ||
| But it was that moment where we had never done a show with a musical act before, and a lot of my friends were skeptical. | ||
| They were like, what are you guys going to do? | ||
| How does that work together? | ||
| I go, I think the music probably shouldn't be in the middle because it would interrupt the flow of the comedy, but I think it would enhance the beginning of the comedy. | ||
| And I think, you know, so we do it this way. | ||
| And so when we did it, and you guys got on stage, it was the first time that Eddie had ever seen you guys live. | ||
| And, you know, he was like, holy shit, they're good. | ||
| He was like, the lyrics, the fucking music, the choices they made, he just was like shaking his head. | ||
| But I'll never forget that moment where they both walked off stage because they were both shaking their heads. | ||
| Because Joey was going to go on stage next and do some stand-up. | ||
| We got so lucky to be involved with this. | ||
| Well, we're lucky too. | ||
| We're all lucky. | ||
| We're lucky as shit. | ||
| This show would be completely uninteresting if it was just me talking every week. | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| I think you have a lot to say and it's very interesting. | ||
| People have heard it already. | ||
| By now I've run out of shit to say. | ||
| I repeat myself. | ||
| I don't even like listening to me anymore. | ||
| But we're all lucky, for reals. | ||
| You know, including people listening. | ||
| We're all in on this in some fucking weird way. | ||
| We're all in on this thing together. | ||
| It's just that folks like you and I and Red Band and whoever's on the mic out there, you're a part of the lightning rod. | ||
| You're part of the lightning rod that distributes all this shit, but we're all in it together. | ||
| We don't even know what we're doing. | ||
| We don't even know why we're doing it. | ||
| We just start doing it, and then somewhere along the line we realize we love it, and the next thing you know, you're singing songs, or you're telling jokes, or you're fucking making guitars, whatever it is, you know, you find that thing. | ||
| Two big teepees. | ||
| Yeah, two big teepees. | ||
| You find that weird thing out there in the world, you know, whatever it is. | ||
| And if you don't, goddamn, keep looking. | ||
| Keep looking. | ||
| This is rousing, man. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I'm kind of like, really, I don't even know what to do. | ||
| I'm rousing myself up. | ||
| I don't even know if I'm honest. | ||
| This is all literature. | ||
| It's all fiction. | ||
| It's coming from the universe. | ||
| Play another song? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| I gotta, like, reacclimate myself. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I'm a... | ||
| Do you want to play this one? | ||
| I'm trying to think. | ||
| I feel like we should play an uplifting one, but... | ||
| No, you don't have to play an uplifting one. | ||
| If you want to make the folks cry, maybe we'll have a little yin and yang. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A peak and a high and a low. | ||
| Whatever you want. | ||
| We're gonna put some yang on. | ||
| Can I make a request? | ||
| We may not be able to fulfill it, but you can... | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How's that not possible? | ||
| Um, will you guys play LA River? | ||
| I thought I'd do that. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, I'll try to mess it up. | ||
| Please. | ||
| I fucking love that song. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You wanna do it right now? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here we go, here we go. | ||
| I'm gonna try some a little... | ||
| That's one of the cool things about music. | ||
| You guys can take requests. | ||
| Have comedians take requests? | ||
| We haven't played this in a while. | ||
| I will really try not to mess it up. | ||
| That's just Thunder Pussy. | ||
| That kind of request is great. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Maybe you just play. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What the fuck can we do today? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Ba-boom. | ||
| All right, I got this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to pause. | |
| Here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. boy. | |
| but I love my new home Listen to the big city sound Watching that L.A. River roll down by the trains Dip my fingers in the warm black | ||
| water All red skin on my knees Sail my boat down the L.A. River Thought I saw a body in the leaves Oh, but I love my new home Listen to the big city sound Watchin' that L.A. While the trains pass Chinatown Listen | ||
| to the big city sound Watching that LA river roll down by the trains past Chinatown Oh shit. | ||
| We got through that one. | ||
| That was beautiful. | ||
| I love that fucking song. | ||
| That was badass. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| That was really cool. | ||
| Man. | ||
| I like the banjos making a comeback. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| You know, the banjo gets thrown under the bus a lot. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| How'd the banjo get her a, you know... | ||
| The hillbillies. | ||
| Oh, those motherfuckers. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| I got inundated. | ||
| I like being the underdog. | ||
| I'm from Cleveland, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, you gotta just, you gotta come back up. | |
| Fucking banjo. | ||
| Deep respect for Drew Carey. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I met Drew Carey. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| I met him at Swinger's, the diner. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, he's there like every day almost. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a great guy. | |
| And I walked up to him. | ||
| I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm a hometown hero lover. | ||
| And I was like, Drew, my name's Suzanne. | ||
| I'm from Parma, Ohio, which is what the show was based on. | ||
| I think we talked about this on the podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, did we? | |
| And he was so fucking nice. | ||
| And he actually tweeted at us. | ||
| I threw a tweet at him, and he was super cool. | ||
| Really nice guy. | ||
| He's a sweetheart. | ||
| He's a genuine nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| Nice when you run into people that are genuinely nice. | ||
| It's cool, you know? | ||
| And when they're not, fuck them. | ||
| Maybe you caught them on a bad day, too. | ||
| You can't really judge somebody. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| You guys gonna move back to LA? Come on. | ||
| I want to. | ||
| We need to make this record and then make some more dope. | ||
| Make some more cash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Make it rain. | |
| You know what I was thinking though, when you were talking about the banjo, I remember about Nashville. | ||
| Something that's amazing about Nashville is it has this real wellspring of music, which is... | ||
| What'd you just do? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of music in Nashville, right? | ||
| But there's a lot of traditional music and stuff that's like, hey, it's American. | ||
| And not in a bad way. | ||
| Bluegrass music, I mean, it didn't come out of Nashville specifically, but that region, you have traditional music, and you're not really in touch with that in many other places. | ||
| Like here, there's a great music scene, but there aren't people who are keeping a flame alive, as far as I know. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So they're keeping a bluegrass flame alive? | ||
| They really are. | ||
| Like, American Roots music is huge, and there's people that are dedicated to just, like, spreading this shit, making sure people know about it. | ||
| And that's, I mean, that's why the banjo's still around, you know, because someone... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's always been a respect that rock and roll guys pay to things like bluegrass or the blues. | ||
| I'm sure you guys know the song, one of my all-time favorite Skynyrd songs, The Ballad of Curtis Lowe. | ||
| Do you know that song? | ||
| It's about him picking up bottles and returning them so he could give money to this guy Curtis Lowe so he could sing him a song. | ||
| Because this guy would sit out and They'd give him money and he'd buy wine with it and he would sing songs for people. | ||
| And it's just a fucking beautiful song. | ||
| But it's not just a beautiful song. | ||
| It's a beautiful song that Skinner did just in honor of these unknown blues guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That are responsible for all this shit. | ||
| You know, it's like you look at Jimi Hendrix. | ||
| He didn't exist without these guys. | ||
| I was reading about some guy, you know, this is like the recording era in the 40s and 50s. | ||
| You'd have, they'd just zone in on these blues guys. | ||
| They'd find them on the street. | ||
| This guy Blind Willie McTell. | ||
| And they'd bring him up to New York and they'd cut songs with him, give him like 25 bucks. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| And send them back and make millions. | ||
| Make millions of dollars. | ||
| And 20 years after he's put out all these records, this guy, like Atlantic Records, this guy, Amit Erdogan, finds him on the street still and he's just doing his thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's fucked. | ||
| And there's a whole community of these guys, man. | ||
| Well, there was quite a few that definitely got taken advantage of, for sure. | ||
| And there's all this weird lore behind it all, too. | ||
| I was fascinated by Robert Johnson. | ||
| Yeah, the crossroads. | ||
| Yeah, the crossroads. | ||
| He sold the soul to the devil. | ||
| I would have thought the devil would give him better songs. | ||
| I mean, the songs are pretty good. | ||
| They're really good. | ||
| But they're really good for the time. | ||
| I would think the devil would have mad universal magic. | ||
| Like, there's songs... | ||
| That for whatever reason, they just don't quite hang in there. | ||
| They don't quite hold up. | ||
| There's some old songs, you listen to them, they're fascinating, but they don't quite touch you. | ||
| And then you get to a certain point where they're like, okay, this song will exist forever. | ||
| And my register is songs like Whole Lotta Love. | ||
| Like Zeppelin, Whole Lotta Love. | ||
| Like, I don't give a fuck what happens. | ||
| I don't care if they invent time travel. | ||
| I don't care if you've got, like, robots on Pluto that put your body in suspended animation and print a 3D copy of it that breathes carbon dioxide and it wanders around on the surface. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| You're not going to make a better song than Whole Lotta Love. | ||
| You might make a different song. | ||
| It might be different, but it's not going to be better. | ||
| It's not possible to be better. | ||
| There's something about that. | ||
| There's something about the beauty of Palmer's voice and the sounds of the guitar and Jimmy Page is hitting it perfect and it's the time. | ||
| It's the time. | ||
| There's marijuana smoke in the air and everyone's on LSD and it's just... | ||
| It's just a different time. | ||
| They captured this rare moment where the universe gave birth to flowers. | ||
| The universe gave birth to these artistic flowers in the form of human expression. | ||
| They were birthed out of the human consciousness and imagination. | ||
| Yeah, they're the pioneers. | ||
| They kind of started this thing. | ||
| But it's interesting now... | ||
| Juxtaposed to like music made today where there's so many manufactured sounds and stuff. | ||
| It's not like, hey, this is what the drums sound like in my friend's basement. | ||
| You know, fucking awesome. | ||
| But doesn't it seem like things that are... | ||
| I hate the word organic, but it seems like the right word you used to describe people like the black keys. | ||
| Yeah, they're awesome, but they didn't come up with that sound. | ||
| They didn't come up with the blues. | ||
| They just executed really well. | ||
| Neither did Zeppelin. | ||
| It's like the Robert Johnson thing. | ||
| Pioneers, that's a great word, and I also think not a fitting one necessarily, maybe ever, because somebody always did it. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Isn't that so true? | ||
| Isn't that what's unique about the whole thing? | ||
| There's no real pioneers. | ||
| Everyone is sort of handing a torch off, and there's these moments where someone comes up with a whole lot of love, and you're like... | ||
| You made a black diamond that weighs a thousand pounds. | ||
| You figured out a way to make some universally weird and unusual and important object. | ||
| And they probably weren't even trying. | ||
| They're just kind of filtering this stuff. | ||
| It's like a set of circumstances and experiences. | ||
| Okay, these British dudes hear this music. | ||
| They're from this weird working class town. | ||
| They wear really tight pants. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Flop the bulge. | ||
| And there's some of them that, you know, sometimes you have to step back away from them to realize how great they really were. | ||
| Like, if you don't listen to Sweet Home Alabama for six months, that's what you have to do. | ||
| It's like, if you don't have sex for like six weeks, when you do have sex, it'll be so amazing. | ||
| Because every touch will be like... | ||
| The power of the touch will be inflated beyond belief. | ||
| All of it, the sparks, the energy. | ||
| But the only way for that to build up is you've got to take some time off. | ||
| And Sweet Home Alabama is overplayed to death. | ||
| They beat the fuck out of that song. | ||
| Because it's so good. | ||
| But sometimes you can forget. | ||
| You forget how good it is. | ||
| But it's still a good roll in the hay is what you're saying? | ||
| All you need is a little time off. | ||
| You need a little time off and you realize that's God trying to speak through some fat, long-haired Florida boys. | ||
| That's God speaking through them. | ||
| Man, I'm trying to find the correlation between not having sex for six weeks and then listening to Seattle. | ||
| Because you have to be careful. | ||
| Familiarity breeds contempt. | ||
| To me, we're just... | ||
| Familiarity breeds contempt. | ||
| You know sweet Alabama inside and out. | ||
| You can't appreciate what it really is. | ||
| What it really is is these guys found a lightning rod to the universal constant. | ||
| They just hit that fucking button. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweetheart! | |
| Alabama. | ||
| And this is 19-whatever, 70, who the fuck knows? | ||
| The cars were all dog shit. | ||
| Fucking oil crises and fucking Nixon and Jimmy Carter. | ||
| Everybody's a mess. | ||
| And then all of a sudden these fat guys out of Florida. | ||
| Ugly, white trash, fat guys. | ||
| Sweet home. | ||
| Not even fat all the time. | ||
| Like in the beginning, I actually kind of sang. | ||
| And that's kind of a happy song, man. | ||
| That's like a joyful song at moments, right? | ||
| They were amazing. | ||
| Whatever the fuck they were for that brief moment of time, you know, before that plane crash, they were amazing. | ||
| Leonard Skinner, to this day, if I have, like, a list of shit on my iPod, and I'm, like, in an airport or something like that, and I'm scrolling through, and I see my little Skinner folder, I'm like, fuck, you gotta go to Skinnerd. | ||
| Gotta go to Skinnerd, man. | ||
| It's like ACDC, I feel the same way. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Even if every song sounds like an ACDC song, like, they don't vary at all. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| That's like a chemical rush when you put that stuff on. | ||
| They're so unique in that. | ||
| You hear that? | ||
| They have such a marching sort of style. | ||
| Yeah, that's browsing shit. | ||
| So many guys come into the cage, into mixed martial arts fights, and even in boxing fights. | ||
| They listen to ACDC? Fuck yeah. | ||
| Thunderstruck's a big one. | ||
| You know, we had a really kind of defining moment of our lifetime. | ||
| I would say, not lifetime, but we saw Black Sabbath. | ||
| We were overseas. | ||
| We were in Amsterdam. | ||
| And it actually happened to then Thanksgiving as well. | ||
| And a friend of ours got us tickets to see Black Sabbath. | ||
| And, you know, you got to think, like, how much longer does Ozzy got? | ||
| You know, you don't want to miss it if you have an opportunity. | ||
| And it was amazing. | ||
| Like, it was really... | ||
| You really saw his energy was so genuine. | ||
| It really was. | ||
| You could tell he was having a blast. | ||
| He couldn't sing for shit. | ||
| I mean, he was so off-key that he was almost back in-key. | ||
| Like, it was so far off an octave that it was almost back in, but it was so entertaining to see him because he really felt... | ||
| Like, you felt his energy was, like, across the whole... | ||
| Like, it was called the Ziggo Dome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was this huge, you know, place and... | ||
| It was a really crazy experience to see Ozzy Osbourne up on stage doing his thing. | ||
| He's got his signature moves. | ||
| Between each song, he'd be like, I can't fucking hear you! | ||
| And then everyone's screaming! | ||
| And it was crazy. | ||
| But it was really, really great to see. | ||
| He's legendary. | ||
| Brian, you remember when we went to see Steel Panthers, right? | ||
| Yeah, in Vegas. | ||
| We went to see Steel Panthers in Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
When did we see them? | |
| And the dude who's the lead singer does the most insane... | ||
| Impression of Ozzy Osbourne. | ||
| I mean, pitch, movement, like the way he shuffles on stage. | ||
| He does Crazy Train. | ||
| And it's like, holy shit. | ||
| It's so good, it makes you want to go see Ozzy Osbourne. | ||
| It really is so good. | ||
| That's a bizarre place that they have, right? | ||
| Bands like Steel Panther. | ||
| It's amazing, but it makes you want to see somebody else. | ||
| Well, they have... | ||
| They're not just a band. | ||
| They're like a show. | ||
| Yeah, you guys sound like a review, right? | ||
| Well, it's... | ||
| Yeah, it's almost like a little bit of that Is this them doing it? | ||
| It's hard to tell, but this audio is hard to hear. | ||
| When we see it live, though, it's fucking insane. | ||
| I mean, he sounds like Ozzy Osbourne in his prime. | ||
| I mean, exactly. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| Yeah, it made you want to go see Ozzy before it's too late. | ||
| Who knows how they're keeping that guy alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There was a good 20 to 30 minute drum solo that went on. | |
| It was being transported. | ||
| You were in the 70s. | ||
| You were there, yeah. | ||
| You went back and this is what people did. | ||
| I don't smoke weed very often, but I did in Amsterdam and it was crazy. | ||
| I mean, you're just like... | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'm going to get high at Black Sabbath. | ||
| I remember one time I was writing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm really bad at it. | |
| I was coming home on a plane and I was writing. | ||
| And a lot of times when I write, I'll eat like a pot edible before I get on the plane. | ||
| And this one was particularly strong. | ||
| And for whatever reason, I decided to play Crazy Train over and over and over again. | ||
| I put it on repeat. | ||
| Interesting choice. | ||
| And I played that song for fucking five hours while I was writing. | ||
| All the way from New York back to L.A. It was five hours of Crazy Train. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just one of those things. | ||
| It's like you catch a great groove. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just ride it. | |
| That's interesting. | ||
| I've never thought about writing to other music because usually I'm writing music, but that'd be, you know, like listening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why does it sound exactly like crazy? | |
| I could never study when I was in school. | ||
| I could never really study if there was music in the background because I'd be really distracted by it. | ||
| Most of the time I feel the same way, but I needed comfort. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's really cool. | ||
| Just five hours. | ||
| I was too high. | ||
| That's dedication. | ||
| I needed comfort. | ||
| But it's also when you get super high, patterns start to, once they become very recognizable by the mind, the mind settles into this idea that there's not going to be any interruptions in those patterns. | ||
| So like crazy train essentially becomes like a three minute and 35 second ohm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great. | |
| This is helping me because I'm really bad at being high. | ||
| I'm so bad. | ||
| I lose my sparkle. | ||
| In what way? | ||
| I'm not present. | ||
| I can't really focus on a conversation and I feel very self-aware and I want to take a fucking nap. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I totally understand those things. | ||
| They're very, very logical. | ||
| But I think that what I like about it is that terrible feeling of everything going completely off the rails. | ||
| And then you get back to reality, you take a deep breath, you go... | ||
| We're okay. | ||
| Everything's okay. | ||
| Because it gives you such a bizarrely introspective perspective and such an intensely sensitive view of the world that when the ride is over, you get off and you go, okay, we're fine now. | ||
| Okay, this is helpful. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's like going on a really shitty vacation so work feels better. | ||
| So you appreciate your job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not even that it's shitty. | ||
| It's just that in its uniquely terrifying moments, it reveals to you the beauty of just placid reality when everything's just relaxed. | ||
| See, I used to smoke all the time, but I hit this rut of massive anxiety. | ||
| Well, you don't really remember. | ||
| Was it your 23rd and 24th year? | ||
| Is that what you said? | ||
| Yeah, it was about two years. | ||
| That was about high for two years. | ||
| Yeah, it was pretty crazy. | ||
| It was really tough to work with you then. | ||
| I love you, but those were some tough times. | ||
| It shaped you as a man. | ||
| All those journeys you went on. | ||
| I can't remember anything. | ||
| Those cosmic voyages to despair. | ||
| Twisty, turny roads into the night where your car starts to sputter. | ||
| Well, for you, meat is like cocaine. | ||
| You're like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It's very much an upper. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, it's really tough to be around. | ||
| Tough to be around. | ||
| You know, it's interesting how they will prescribe certain kind of uppers to people that are hyperactive, and it sort of balances that out. | ||
| Adderall's really fun, let me tell you. | ||
| I've heard that from several people this week. | ||
| It feels like the two times I've taken Adderall recreationally, sorry. | ||
| I felt like I was on mushrooms. | ||
| It was the best thing ever. | ||
| Actually, we were in Paris. | ||
| We were in Paris on tour. | ||
| What jacks up your dopamine? | ||
| And I took an Adderall and we went to the Eiffel Tower and I had the best time ever. | ||
| I felt amazing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was super fun. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| And we had a really fun show. | ||
| I mean, I wouldn't... | ||
| Did you do the show on Adderall? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was way earlier in the day. | ||
| Oh, so the Adderall was worn off? | ||
| Yeah, I don't like to be... | ||
| How long does it take to wear off? | ||
| I don't know, six hours? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god! | |
| Yeah, it was fucking awesome! | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| You're the second person! | ||
| Hannibal Buress said it the other day, too. | ||
| It was really fun. | ||
| Buress? | ||
| I say his name wrong all the time. | ||
| Buress. | ||
| With shows and stuff like that, you definitely, like, you gotta be present. | ||
| You know, you don't want, I have to be in control of all of my faculties as much as possible. | ||
| Yeah, no, I totally understand, but something that lasts for six hours, that seems like, fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boners that last for six hours. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| We've talked about that two days. | ||
| All of it's a problem. | ||
| All of it's a problem. | ||
| God. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Did you wear a fanny pack or something? | ||
| I actually just took one last night, so I'm on it right now. | ||
| Do you have wood right now? | ||
| TMI, Brian. | ||
| I don't know if I want to know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
TMI. I feel uncomfortable. | |
| I'm amazed how you can feel comfortable every year. | ||
| Just knowing he's breathing. | ||
| So you're saying you went out last night, or did you just stay home alone? | ||
| Sometimes he just fires one of them up just to let everybody know what's up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got a massage last night, so I just did it before that. | |
| A massage in quotes, air quotes. | ||
| You creeper. | ||
| It's just better that way. | ||
| Listen, we live in trying times. | ||
| It wasn't even a rubbing tug? | ||
| You just wanted to fuck with the massage therapist? | ||
| What an asshole. | ||
| What an asshole. | ||
| This giant fucking snake coming out of the top of his pants. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is that a turtle head? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| What is that? | ||
| What's that pink thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can we go back to talking about passion and fun? | |
| Well, you know what? | ||
| We need to talk about everything. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| You can't just talk only about passion. | ||
| People get bored of the same goddamn speeches over and over again. | ||
| You brought up the boner anyway. | ||
| I did! | ||
| Story of my life! | ||
| I would bring it up if I was a chick, too. | ||
| You're welcome. | ||
| If I was a chick, I'd be bringing up boners all day. | ||
| So explain to me, boners. | ||
| Do you know when they're coming? | ||
| What are you guys doing later? | ||
| I'd be like, is it like, does it give you like a whisper? | ||
| Do you hear like whistling in your ears? | ||
| You know the demon boners on its way? | ||
| The howling between the worlds opens up just a creak and... | ||
| And the boner spirits come flying through your fucking nervous system. | ||
| Boner spirits. | ||
| You feel them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boners. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I had an interesting conversation with this girl once and she was talking about the difference between a woman getting excited and a man getting excited is that it's pretty obvious if a man's excited. | ||
| But a woman could be a prostitute and she could totally pretend to be excited and not give a fuck. | ||
| But a man has this one thing that he has to show. | ||
| And so if he's acting excited but he doesn't have an erection, they're like, hey... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something's wrong here. | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| Are you being deceptive here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Liar. | |
| What's going on here? | ||
| You are full of shit. | ||
| It's interesting how nature set that up. | ||
| It's way easier to lie to dudes. | ||
| It's also way easier to lie to dudes. | ||
| I disagree, though. | ||
| I mean, God, we're totally getting down. | ||
| But if you're not wet, you're not wet. | ||
| And that's got to be disappointing for a dude. | ||
| Yeah, but that's... | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| We don't know any better. | ||
| You know there's a difference. | ||
| We're retarded, apparently. | ||
| I could convince myself otherwise. | ||
| Men are retarded. | ||
| It's easy for us to... | ||
| Yeah, you know, she's not... | ||
| She wasn't wet, but she was so horny. | ||
| You know the difference between your spit and the real juice. | ||
| The problem is she's on this new pill. | ||
| She's probably going to get off and go organic. | ||
| She's probably gluten free. | ||
| It does make a difference. | ||
| I'm sure it does. | ||
| Being on birth control and not on birth control. | ||
| It's like a mind fuck. | ||
| I bet it does. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| You have better orgasms. | ||
| The whole thing. | ||
| Off of it. | ||
| You come out from this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| It's like a muted sexual side to yourself. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| But your boobs get bigger and that's fun. | ||
| It's letting your body think that it's pregnant. | ||
| Yeah it's really weird. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's letting your body think that it's pregnant. | ||
| I don't think I would ever go back on anything like that. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's probably not the smartest thing for your body, right? | ||
| But it helps people in some things, like girls who have acne a lot of times will get on it. | ||
| It actually gave me acne. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, it was a real bummer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's interesting still, also, that they've never figured out a solution like that for men. | ||
| Like a pill solution. | ||
| And I wonder if it had the same sort of compromising aspects... | ||
| Well, there's Accutane if you want the hard stuff, but that's pretty fucked up. | ||
| I think we're talking about boners. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right! | |
| I mean something that makes men sterile. | ||
| Like a sterilizer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's a horrible... | ||
| Like a temporary sterilization. | ||
| Listen to what you just said. | ||
| That's a horrible thought. | ||
| But the pill is like the irreversible side of it. | ||
| Well, the vasectomy is reversible, is it not? | ||
| And apparently it's like a walk-in procedure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if it's 100% reversible. | |
| I think sometimes they can, you know, I mean, you have to go to a really good doctor that knows what they're doing. | ||
| But I think there definitely can be complications whenever you... | ||
| Start cutting and stitching stuff back up. | ||
| It is unfortunate that all of the pressure lies on the woman. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And you're right, I did just kind of reveal it like that. | ||
| Now that I think about it, it's horrifying to me to think of fucking with the testicles, but at the same time, it's totally routine to be like, take that pill. | ||
| Yeah, do you know what if I get an IUD? That shit is fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I went into shock. | |
| Did you really? | ||
| Yeah, I went into shock. | ||
| Like, I literally, you know, had like... | ||
| It's called vasovag... | ||
| I don't know how to describe it. | ||
| I can't remember the actual word. | ||
| Vasodilation? | ||
| Your body doesn't reject it. | ||
| I'm just repeating words I've heard online. | ||
| It's close, but it's like... | ||
| Wikipedia? | ||
| There's a word for it. | ||
| Transcontent's a railroad? | ||
| But it's intense, you know? | ||
| The Gadsden Purchase. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| We're talking about... | ||
| You're going in shock because you got a robot fucking turned into your vagina. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're like coming up with witty words. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| No, I'm over it. | ||
| I feel better. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| I can fucking hang with the boys. | ||
| It certainly is rude, not just of us, but of culture, to sort of make that distinction. | ||
| It would be disgusting for a guy to take a pill that makes you sterile, like kills your sperm. | ||
| You'd be turned off by that. | ||
| Do you think they thought of it and just didn't put it on the market? | ||
| I think there's a certain valuable asset sort of mindset that goes along with the idea of fertility. | ||
| And I think that virility and fertility are very important to men. | ||
| And the idea of killing all your spermies with a pill seems scary. | ||
| If you're really going to totally commit, you would get an operation. | ||
| If you weren't going to totally commit, the idea of cooking them with some sort of an evil compound Just freeze that shit. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| It can't come out the same way. | ||
| It's like vegetables. | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| Would you cook with frozen vegetables? | ||
| It's like drinking V8. Would you rather cook with frozen vegetables? | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| Yeah, something's wrong there. | ||
| Something's wrong. | ||
| We don't know what it is. | ||
| I totally get it. | ||
| If I was a chick, I'd be really bummed out if somebody wanted me to take a pill that made my body think that it's pregnant and then also kills your libido. | ||
| Which is probably what nature would do, like, almost automatically if you're pregnant. | ||
| Probably like, okay, slow down, hooker. | ||
| Slow down. | ||
| You don't need any more dick. | ||
| You got a baby on the way. | ||
| Take it down a notch. | ||
| It's an interesting, like, when you go through your relationships, like, obviously if you're dating, it's not as much of a problem, you know, because you use condoms and that's fine, honestly. | ||
| Like... | ||
| But if you're really serious with somebody and then you get to that point where you're like, I love you. | ||
| I don't want to use this anymore. | ||
| Let's kick it up a notch. | ||
| Then you get to that point where you have to figure out, well, shit, how do I want to manipulate my body To have more pleasurable sex or a more intimate connection, if you will. | ||
| Or, you know, let's have a risk that we're going to take and it may or may not make a baby. | ||
| That's fucking terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The idea may or may not make a person is a fucking tricky thing. | ||
| Especially when you're young musicians trying to travel the road and... | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to get anybody pregnant on the road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would fucking suck. | |
| What would happen if you had to visit your baby daddy in Tennessee? | ||
| You got some guy pregnant in Tennessee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awful. | |
| Imagine if chicks could get guys pregnant. | ||
| Boy, dudes would be such prudes. | ||
| It would be hilarious. | ||
| If girls could get us pregnant, it would be a total role reversal. | ||
| What the fuck are you crying about? | ||
| I could jerk off. | ||
| I'd just fucking jerk off. | ||
| I'll be fine over here, just jerking off. | ||
| I don't need anybody getting me pregnant. | ||
| We'd just get tons of abortions. | ||
| Everyone would be getting abortions every day. | ||
| But what if you were a dude who had this weird sort of genetic desire to breed? | ||
| What if you had all these male aggressive qualities that we associate with being male, but also the need to get pregnant? | ||
| The universe hit a switch on you. | ||
| There's weirder shit when it comes to fucking frogs that can switch sex and weird fucking bugs. | ||
| Some people love to get pregnant just to say that they're pregnant. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| It's really fucking weird. | ||
| You meet a lot of people out there, and it's just like... | ||
| Do you think they're really getting pregnant just to say they're pregnant? | ||
| Or do you think they just like to fuck? | ||
| Maybe they're not getting pregnant, but sometimes they enjoy the... | ||
| It's like an accomplishment portion, right? | ||
| Well, it definitely gets you congratulations almost immediately. | ||
| Well, I definitely feel like it can be... | ||
| Let me rephrase that, because go for it, everybody. | ||
| If you want to get down, procreate, more power to you. | ||
| But you have to admit, you've seen people exploit it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In a way that it's like, do you really want to have this life that you're creating or do you just love your Facebook updates? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's an interesting aspect. | ||
| I think it's someone I know posted a photo of the pregnancy test. | ||
| Right. | ||
| On the Facebook. | ||
| It was like, you peed on that. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| I think as a person who's never given birth, your perspective would radically change if you have a baby inside of you. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And I've never been pregnant. | ||
| But it's also like what people choose to and not to share on Facebook. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That gets real squirrely. | ||
| Sometimes you go on someone's Facebook, especially if it's someone you know, and they write a bunch of really personal shit about a relationship or something. | ||
| Also, it's a really private thing, yeah. | ||
| I'm going to walk away from this. | ||
| I'm certainly not going to comment. | ||
| You go, girl. | ||
| Good things come to those who wait or some fucking Maxwell House coffee commercial. | ||
| Like, whatever, you know, blah, blah, blah, sorry to hear, you're in the dumps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why are people broadcasting stuff like that to the whole world? | |
| We actually had a friend, Ben, remember the guy who was like, he was like, that's it, I'm done, I'm on the edge. | ||
| People really reach out, man. | ||
| And you reach out to him because you're a good man. | ||
| Ben had somebody that he knew, we're not going to... | ||
| Say his name. | ||
| It would be good for everybody involved. | ||
| Norman Rockwell. | ||
| Norman, your painting seems so cheery. | ||
| Americana, you captured it. | ||
| I think people are fucking lonely. | ||
| That's it, right? | ||
| That is an outlet that everyone has access to. | ||
| Nobody's going to listen to them in real life, so they can put it out there and maybe someone will listen to them digitally. | ||
| It's a powerful and yet terrifying thing sometimes because then you get people that are fucking annoying and then people that are really serious in a dark way. | ||
| It's such a weird balance. | ||
| I can never tell how I feel about it because social media is... | ||
| Great for a band like us because that's how you stay afloat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, that's how you stay present. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because we're not a signed band. | ||
| We're not on the radio. | ||
| But at the same time, then there's like your personal circle, your personal friends. | ||
| And that's some crazy shit. | ||
| You know, sometimes you just get these people that like... | ||
| They want to reveal these really personal things, and I never know what to do. | ||
| I just block that shit. | ||
| And I think it can be off-putting, but it's also important, too, for people to be able to get shit out, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was listening to something, and they were talking about these mental health things. | ||
| Talk to people. | ||
| I think it's good to talk to people, man. | ||
| Yeah, talking to people is definitely the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| You're right. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I heard something about mental health workers in Africa, right? | ||
| And they were over there and all these African tribes, people or more native people, were kind of rejecting these mental health workers because they'd come in. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And these people, these African people would say, well, they come in here and they don't say anything about dancing. | ||
| They don't say anything about putting it out for the community. | ||
| They don't say anything about turning these feelings, depersonalizing them as evil spirits. | ||
| They just tell us to come into a room with a stranger, a dark room with a stranger and talk about their problems. | ||
| Talk about the bad shit. | ||
| And they'd say, we don't want this kind of Western feel. | ||
| We want to just get it out and do it together and dance and hang, you know? | ||
| And I'm not saying Facebook is really doing that, but there's a certain similarity there between like, man, share it. | ||
| It's all right. | ||
| Well, it is eventually, I think. | ||
| There's excessive sharing, though. | ||
| Well, there's excessive sharing, and it's all about the comfort that people have in discussing very personal relationship stuff, or very personal... | ||
| Morbid thoughts or worries about your own finite life or whatever it is. | ||
| Sometimes you read someone's Facebook page and you want to know whether or not you should reach out to them. | ||
| Read some weird moody thing that they wrote and you go, whoa, what the fuck is he saying here? | ||
| Is this some shit that I'm going to read and then wish that I called him when I hear that something went wrong? | ||
| We all worry about that kind of stuff. | ||
| But I think that What we're doing by connecting with each other on things like Twitter, and then things like Facebook, and then ultimately whatever the new ones are that keep coming, because it seems like it's never going to stop. | ||
| This Oculus Rift Facebook connection, who knows where the hell that's going to lead. | ||
| But that could lead to some insane place. | ||
| I mean, Oculus Rift, if you've never put it on before, Duncan has one of these things. | ||
| You slap the helmet on, maybe he'll let you use it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And right now, it's in its infancy. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I don't know anything about it. | ||
| Oh, how dare you. | ||
| Teach me. | ||
| Oculus Rift is a new version of virtual reality that they're developing games for. | ||
| And they have a few demos right now and they're making some new games. | ||
| But most of what you're getting when you look at the tech these days is essentially samples of what's potentially possible. | ||
| A door into whatever this is that's so intoxicating that Facebook, how much did they pay for it? | ||
| I think it was $300. | ||
| $300 is a good bargain. | ||
| It's just a dev kit right now, so right now it's really... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean, how much did Facebook pay? | ||
| Oh, $2 billion. | ||
| I thought you were being silly. | ||
| You're like $300. | ||
| I'm like, damn, I wish I'd known I would give them $4. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| But $2 billion? | ||
| Hello? | ||
| That's how crazy this technology is. | ||
| You put this headset on, and you look around, and you see the sky. | ||
| You see leaves falling from the trees. | ||
| You see birds flying around. | ||
| Three-dimensional environment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, and they have this one... | ||
| Can you interact with it? | ||
| You can walk around in it. | ||
| Right now, you can't interact with it, but unquestionably it's coming. | ||
| I want to text Duncan and say, I want to wear your helmet, but that might be weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it won't. | |
| He'll let you do both. | ||
| You should specify which one you like first, or whether or not together, because that would be fucking crazy. | ||
| With the helmet on, you'd be like, what am I feeling? | ||
| But what am I seeing? | ||
| I see leaves falling, but someone's fucking me in the ass. | ||
| They really got to figure it out, though, because it still makes a lot of people sick. | ||
| And every time I let people use it, they're like, most of them are like, no, this is, I can't, I have to sit down. | ||
| Well, I tried it and it didn't make me sick. | ||
| I think it's the universe trying to weed out weak bitches. | ||
| Did you do the roller coaster one? | ||
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| The one I did was so mild. | ||
| I'm completely kidding, because all I did was walk around in the backyard. | ||
| It didn't make me sick. | ||
| But I have heard... | ||
| I get sick when I read my laptop in the back of a car. | ||
| Like, if I'm in the back seat and someone else is driving, I try to read my laptop... | ||
| So how are you with things like Call of Duty, like 360 video games? | ||
| I can't do that shit. | ||
| It's like watching the Blair Witch Project. | ||
| I don't play them because I get addicted to games. | ||
| I have an issue. | ||
| Seriously, peaky? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Peaky? | |
| I've had a little bit of nothing. | ||
| You a little crazy with Call of Duty? | ||
| Well, it just makes you pukey. | ||
| Oh, pukey! | ||
| It makes me super, super nauseous. | ||
| I thought you said peaky. | ||
| I was like, I'm not sure what you mean. | ||
| I feel like I hear myself slurring and I want to stop talking now, so goodbye. | ||
| Listen, I think we're out of time. | ||
| We're going to turn into a pumpkin in any second now. | ||
| But it's always awesome hanging out with you guys. | ||
| I'm honored to be your friend. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
| You're the shit. | ||
| You're such positive, awesome, fun people to be around. | ||
| I can speak for Brian. | ||
| We're honored to be friends with you. | ||
| I'm tired of speaking for you, Brian. | ||
| Speak for yourself, bitch. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love you, Brian. | |
| He said it. | ||
| He means it, too. | ||
| He tells me when you're not around. | ||
| Thanks to our podcast sponsors. | ||
| Thanks to... | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Why don't I ever... | ||
| Luminosity. | ||
| Yeah, I know what it is. | ||
| I just don't know what their code is. | ||
| Lumosity. | ||
| Make them all the same. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| I'll find out, Lumosity. | ||
| I won't leave you hanging, you freaks, because I love your website. | ||
| I think you just said that Joe sent you. | ||
| When you're signing up, there's a place to actually choose. | ||
| No, it's actually... | ||
| You're wrong again, Brian. | ||
| It's Lumosity.com slash Joe. | ||
| So go to Lumosity.com slash Joe and click the Start Training button and start playing your first game. | ||
| Lumosity, it's a bunch of cool games designed... | ||
| To increase your brain's ability to function faster because of exercise. | ||
| The idea is it's a gym for your mind. | ||
| Now what I said there, your brain's ability to function faster. | ||
| Take into account that I am certainly not a scientist by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| Nor do I know if those games really truly... | ||
| I read studies that they say that games, video games especially, enhance cognitive function in some strange way. | ||
| What the fuck do I know, though, folks, huh? | ||
| Am I there while they're doing these tests, huh? | ||
| What I'm saying is Lumosity is fun and accomplishes a lot of the things that they've attributed to video games. | ||
| You can even design games specifically for the shit that you're interested in. | ||
| And I'm giving Lumosity a full commercial because I'm not sure if we did it the first time because it got sort of eliminated by an accidental Mac explosion. | ||
| Anyway, Lumosity.com forward slash Joe. | ||
| I will see you guys on Friday with the great Dennis McKenna. | ||
| Dennis is bringing in a good friend of his. | ||
| And we're going to have a crazy podcast that is most likely going to blow your fucking mind. | ||
| So, tune in then as well. | ||
| And I will see you guys April 3rd in Miami. | ||
| At the Fillmore Theater with the great Tony Hinchcliffe and the other two dates. | ||
| Baltimore on April 25th and Orlando on April 18th. | ||
| Both those dates are almost sold out. | ||
| So hop on it, freaks. | ||
| Alright, much love. | ||
| See you soon. | ||
| Big kiss. | ||
| Honey, honey. | ||
| Honey, honey band on Twitter. |
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