May 9, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:46:54
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hey, you dirty fucks. | ||
| This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. | ||
| If you have a small business and you have to go to the post office, you know what a pain in the dick that can be. | ||
| That shit ain't good for you. | ||
| That's stress. | ||
| That stress can be avoided if you use stamps.com. | ||
| What you can do is, they give you your own digital scale, you can print up all your shit on your own PC, or computer, Mac, Mac or PC, either one works, and you just put your own postage on it, and then the post office comes and they pick it up, and that's it. | ||
| You don't have to do any of that waiting online shit. | ||
| You don't have to wait while somebody weighs your stuff and then figure it all out. | ||
| You do it all from your house. | ||
| Super easy. | ||
| And people that are operating small businesses, like if you buy any of the DeathSquad.tv t-shirts, this is how Brian sends them. | ||
| There's no other way to do it. | ||
| I mean if you have any like a small business or even if you're just like getting into something like an online store like Etsy or something when you want to sell like some artwork or anything that you're shipping stuff out, there's no reason to go to the post office nowadays. | ||
| Or if you're some freak bitch who wants to sell panties. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't want to go to the post office and start weighing panties. | ||
| What you want to do is how many boys are you sending panties to? | ||
| Figure this shit out. | ||
| That could be a businessman. | ||
| I guarantee you there's money in that because Duncan knew a girl who would wear socks and stuff. | ||
| They would want her to get her feet stinky and then she would send them dirty socks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Dirty stench? | |
| Wasn't her name like Dirty Stench? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| She had some sort of an unfortunate name that she called herself but that was like her thing. | ||
| She would get paid to wear underwear for like several days in a row. | ||
| She was the first person that I ever knew actually did that. | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| Not only she did, she fucking did it legit. | ||
| Like, if they told her she had to wear socks for like three days, she would wear socks for three days. | ||
| And she wouldn't let a guy do it. | ||
| Like, no, you can't wear my socks. | ||
| Like, it has to be my stinky feet. | ||
| If there had to be like a tan stain at least. | ||
| Maybe the dude knows. | ||
| Maybe you can smell it and you're like, there's no way a chick's feet smell this fucking bad. | ||
| I'm not beating off to a dude's stinky feet, goddammit. | ||
| That sounds like somebody who would know Duncan. | ||
| Maybe, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that does sound like someone who would know Duncan A, and there might be something to that. | ||
| It might be if you want to keep an honest foot stinky socks business, you got to do the right thing. | ||
| Yeah, that was going through a phase of his life, I think, also, that he was hanging out with that girl. | ||
| Well, yes. | ||
| This is getting very personal. | ||
| If you go to stamps.com and click on, there's a little microphone in the upper right-hand corner, enter in the code word JRE, and you get this sweet deal where they give you a free digital scale, they give you $55 in postal coupons. | ||
| It's a sweet deal. | ||
| And you can save a lot of money, too, up to 80% compared to a meter. | ||
| That's according to them. | ||
| I've done no research. | ||
| And that scale is pretty badass. | ||
| You just hook it up to your computer. | ||
| And don't use it for pot, you fucks. | ||
| This is for sending shit through the mail. | ||
| And I advise you to not send pot through the mail. | ||
| I think that's really dangerous. | ||
| That's super illegal. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that funny? | ||
| If you carry it in your ass, it's less illegal than if you send it across state lines. | ||
| If you stuff a half a pound of weed up your ass, they'll at least be impressed. | ||
| Half a pound? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you stuff... | ||
| You know, a teddy bear filled with weed. | ||
| My ass is enormous. | ||
|
unidentified
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My ass is a broad capacity. | |
| The only person I've ever seen that brags about how big their ass is, the inside of their ass, is Dana D'Armond. | ||
| She's talking about how big her butt is because she fits cat toys up there. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| Some of those gaping videos, when you can see shadows on the wall, it's pretty bad. | ||
| There's no need for that gaping stuff. | ||
| That's the society gone wrong. | ||
| When they look back at us in the future, the way we look at Rome and the vomitoriums and all the diddling of the young people. | ||
| They're going to look at us and gaping, going, what the fuck? | ||
| Because it won't really represent what a small percentage of the population actually enjoys those videos. | ||
| Just the fact that they exist, it's evidence enough that we've gone mad. | ||
| We've gone completely mad. | ||
| We're spitting inside girls' assholes. | ||
| We're opening them up and spitting in there. | ||
| And that's a genre in pornography. | ||
| It's not like a one-time thing, like somebody went... | ||
| And then I lost my mind, man. | ||
| I opened up her butt and I spit in there. | ||
| I don't even know what the fuck I was doing. | ||
| Dude, don't do that again. | ||
| I mean, that's so disrespectful. | ||
| How do you think she feels? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| I gotta stop smoking meth. | ||
| But instead, no, it's a fucking genre. | ||
| How many videos are there? | ||
| I remember when, like a long time ago, I saw on porn, like my first time, that somebody's spitting on the crotch before putting that, you know, using like some spit lube. | ||
| And I actually did it on Katie. | ||
| I spit right on the crotch. | ||
| Don't say names. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| No gal wants that information out there. | ||
| I spit it on her crotch. | ||
|
unidentified
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She's like, what the fuck? | |
| Fuck! | ||
| And she got pissed off and then she ran to the bathroom and washed her and then didn't want to have sex. | ||
| It was totally not horny at all. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| I had a little chest cold so it might have something to do with it. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| Stamps.com. | ||
| Code word JRE. Save yourself some money. | ||
| That's how you do a commercial, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
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Alright? | |
| That's the only way I know. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Audible.com. | ||
| If you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, you can get one free audio book and 30 free days of Audible service. | ||
| If you've never used Audible before, it's a really fucking sweet service for looking for anything. | ||
| And people have said this to me like some guy said to me on Twitter. | ||
| You shouldn't... | ||
| Advertise that people listen to audiobooks when they're stuck in traffic because that's what we use your podcast for. | ||
| You're competing against yourself. | ||
| Do you know how many fucking people there are out there? | ||
|
unidentified
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Do you know how many fucking people there are? | |
| It's madness. | ||
| Water's going to go where it's supposed to go. | ||
| It all gets the attention it deserves. | ||
| If you want to read a fucking book on your transit, you should not be listening to me. | ||
| If you decided, you know, I'm going to use this time to educate myself, well, I don't fit into that plan. | ||
| So I suggest, if that's your mean, then you do use Audible instead of this podcast. | ||
| How about them apples? | ||
| I think audiobooks are some of the coolest things that people have ever invented if you're a commuter. | ||
| You know, because it makes flying on a plane, which is, you know, the same thing as podcasts do. | ||
| And in fact, a lot of podcasts, one that I listen to a lot, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, you can get that on Audible.com. | ||
| You can also get over 100,000 different books. | ||
| I mean, just an amazing collection of books. | ||
| As well as shows, old radio shit, podcasts, stand-up comedy specials, just the Opie and Anthony show. | ||
| Yeah, that's best. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's a beautiful service. | ||
| And like I said, if you go to audible.com forward slash Joe, you can try Audible free for 30 days and you can get one free audio book. | ||
| You know what's cool about it is like if you listen to a lot of podcasts, and you instead just start listening to some audiobooks, when you're done listening to an audiobook, you can say, I just read a book. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like when you listen to a podcast, you're just like, yeah, I listen to a podcast, and I'm like, so, I have a radio. | ||
| Well, I told you I'm fucking in love with that Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcast, and even though you can't say you read a book after you get through one of those, it's way better than reading a book. | ||
| It's super educational. | ||
| You can't quantify it like you can a book. | ||
| But that podcast is not just inspirational. | ||
| That guy is a master storyteller. | ||
| So they're fucking fascinating stories, man. | ||
| It's really good stuff. | ||
| Ben is awesome. | ||
| And the thing about him is that he always says, oh, I'm not really a historian. | ||
| He's way better than any historian because he can actually tell a story. | ||
| And he has no dog in the game. | ||
| He's there to try to discern the facts as clear as possible. | ||
| He gives several different accounts of each situation as it's been deciphered, like what people agree on, as far as numbers and how many killed and shit like that. | ||
| Really, really, really, really interesting stuff, man. | ||
| Audible.com. | ||
| Go check it out. | ||
| You can get Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. | ||
| Do you have any of your books? | ||
| Do you have one on Audible yet? | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what? | |
| No. | ||
| It pisses me off. | ||
| You're too sexy. | ||
| Your voice is too sexy. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It caused all the female population of Earth to turn lesbian since they cannot possibly be satisfied by another man. | ||
| And all men would be very sad. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| Or they can have men agree to only make love to them while they're wearing headphones listening to your voice. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's how it's... | ||
| Well, we need to get you to do one of those because that would be badass. | ||
| Maybe you can just do it. | ||
| I mean, didn't Scott Sigler do that? | ||
| Isn't that how he started out? | ||
| Was it Scott Sigler who had all the podcasts that he released with all of his books, the author? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that guy became really popular by just releasing his books in podcast form. | ||
| He did it on his own? | ||
| Yeah, he did it on his own. | ||
| A go-getter dude. | ||
| He just was unhappy with the publishing world, trying to deal with people. | ||
| Maybe he had a bad experience. | ||
| You could easily have a bad experience. | ||
| Just the wrong publisher, the wrong people, the people with the wrong ideas of where you should go. | ||
| Anyway, go check it out. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| If you haven't been to Onnit lately, we added a lot of shit. | ||
| Onnit basically started off selling nutritional supplements, like mostly nootropics like Alpha Brain and Shroom Tech Sport, which is an endurance enhancing supplement made out of a cordyceps mushroom. | ||
| It's a real trippy thing They actually grow these mushrooms on fucking caterpillars. | ||
| It's very strange stuff. | ||
| Yeah, apparently the story is, the lore is that high altitude herding populations. | ||
| They noticed that their cows, their cattle were more active when they were eating this mushroom. | ||
| So they tried to figure out how to grow it and how to process it in a commercial way. | ||
| And it's also related to that mushroom that fucks with ants, turns them into zombies. | ||
| That is one of the weirdest parasite relationships in the animal world. | ||
| How does it work? | ||
| The cordyceps is a different strain, the cordyceps mushroom, gets inside of the ant, infects the ant, and when the other ants know it's infected, they take him way out of town. | ||
| They're like, we've got to get him the fuck out of here, because they know he becomes a bomb. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh yeah. | |
| So they have to take him out of town and then when they leave him there, he explodes and sends mushroom spores into the air, which are like some invaders of the body snatchers type shit. | ||
| It just lands on other ants, gets into them, infects them, takes them over, and then the same thing. | ||
| They explode and become mushroom bombs. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck? | ||
| Dude, by the way, have you seen this part on its website? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's all about lucid dreaming. | ||
| It's one of the most amazing websites I've ever been to. | ||
| You just scroll down, and it's all about lucid dreaming, and there's these cool visuals that pop up, and then there's one point where the whole space starts spinning around. | ||
| Well, listen, man. | ||
| Lucid dreaming. | ||
| I've had lucid dreaming experiences before, but I've never had them as strong as I've had them before taking AlphaBrain. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| And I think it's not just alfabrine. | ||
| I think if you want to try, I believe choline is one of the big ones responsible for it. | ||
| A lot of people have reported similar results. | ||
| And I think that when you take things that are psychoactive like that, like nootropics at night, I think it has a pretty profound effect on your dream state. | ||
| A lot of people have reported it. | ||
| I've always said that it's one of the best pieces of evidence that the efficacy of AlphaBrain is what the fuck it does to your dreams. | ||
| It's hard to tell whether or not something's giving you an edge, like whether your brain is performing faster or slower, because it's all so subjective. | ||
| It varies with how much sleep you've had or how annoyed you are. | ||
| It varies with so much, but what AlphaBrain provides is all the nutrients, all the building blocks. | ||
| What are you writing, fuckhead? | ||
| I'm writing my dreams, man. | ||
| I was totally fucking my cuz. | ||
| Are you putting that up online? | ||
| Fuck my cuz? | ||
| So what you're doing is you're putting in a fake comment while we're doing a show. | ||
| You're putting in a fake comment, which you shouldn't do anyway. | ||
| This website, whoever made this website, Joe, you need to have them make your website because this is... | ||
| Like, breakthrough website development. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| This is fun. | ||
| What's so amazing? | ||
| Did you draw pictures? | ||
| No, like, look at that. | ||
| Did you just see that thing I was scrolling through? | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty interesting. | ||
| You're drawing a dick. | ||
| I put this on... | ||
| Dude, check out this. | ||
| We also... | ||
| My little circumcision scars. | ||
| That's a fucking monster with circumcision scars. | ||
| Someone's trying to stab your dick. | ||
| One hair. | ||
| Okay, stop. | ||
| We also have kettlebells, battle ropes, all sorts of strength and fitness equipment that we sell there now. | ||
| If you use the code name ROGAN, you'll save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| So that's it, you fucks. | ||
| Did you see that Yahoo News brought up on it today? | ||
| No, what did they say? | ||
| They did this article about Dwayne Ludwig, and he was saying how he reviews the fight tapes naturally, then he smokes weed, and then instead he'll have a review of the fight tapes when he's taking Alpha Brain. | ||
| And they were saying basically how he feels like each state of consciousness that he reviews the fight tape in gives him a little bit different info from the one before. | ||
| And of course, Yahoo News being cynical and whatever, they're like, yeah, this product that they say makes you smarter and more acute, yeah, whatever. | ||
| It's even very funny in your voice. | ||
| A shitty paraphrase with your accent. | ||
| It's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What a strange conversation. | ||
| Yeah, you know, things like Alphabrain, of course, anything that claims to make you smarter, it sounds stupid. | ||
| I mean, ironically, but... | ||
| This has absolutely been proven. | ||
| There's certain nutrients that enhance the way your brain functions. | ||
| I've tried a bunch of different ones. | ||
| I can't say enough. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if you buy this. | ||
| This is my best way to try to describe anything that we sell on it. | ||
| It's all shit I buy. | ||
| It's all shit I would buy. | ||
| It's all shit that I endorse because I've tried and I've had a positive benefit from it. | ||
| All the nootropics, the fitness supplements, all the food like hemp forest protein powder. | ||
| It's all shit that I would use. | ||
| It's all great stuff. | ||
| We try to give you the best shit we can find at reasonable prices. | ||
| And again, if you use a code name ROGAN, you save 10% off any supplements. | ||
| And you can fly, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta check into this lucid dream. | ||
| Solve problems. | ||
| Wow, we're starting a cult. | ||
| Had to be done. | ||
| Had to be done. | ||
| There was not enough cults out there that were making any sense. | ||
| It can be done correctly, folks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| Onnit.com, codename Rogan. | ||
| And go fuck yourself. | ||
| Alright, Daniele Bolelli is here. | ||
| And just the name, the way it rolls off the tongue, it makes for stimulating conversation. | ||
| You're one of the three people in the United States who can actually pronounce it. | ||
| I'm moved every time. | ||
| Please, my friend. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| I'm a professional talker. | ||
| Hit it, son. | ||
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
|
unidentified
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All day. | |
| Dan Yali Boleli, my man. | ||
| Pleasure to be back. | ||
| Hey, there we go. | ||
| That sound of the Italian language, man. | ||
| The Italians really figured out how to make shit sound good. | ||
| Like, as they were saying it. | ||
| Like, I was at Disneyland today, and there was a couple that was talking next to us that was, like, clearly Italian. | ||
| Like, they were... | ||
| They're singing, like, a little song. | ||
| Like, it sounds good. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's awesome because when I think about it, I've been here 20 years and I still speak like a fob, but because it's Italian fob, then it's like, ooh, exotic European. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| Suddenly doors open for me. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whereas if I was Bulgarian or some shit, I would be just… We would be not trusting you. | |
| What the fuck is your problem? | ||
| Learn how to speak English right already. | ||
| You sound like a beautiful classicist or something. | ||
| Some dude from a bygone time when men were elegant. | ||
| And the number of times that I say something in the classroom and I realize my students are just looking at each other like, what the fuck did you just say? | ||
| Like, I did this forever. | ||
| Nobody ever told me anything. | ||
| I always use the word, you know, when I say sovereignty, I used to say sovereignty. | ||
| Oh no, really? | ||
| I never heard it. | ||
| I only read it. | ||
| So I was like, it must be sovereignity. | ||
| Sound about right. | ||
| So I used it over and over again. | ||
| Nobody ever said anything, right? | ||
| So clearly nobody understood shit about what I was saying. | ||
| And one day, a girl was like, are you trying to say sovereignity? | ||
|
unidentified
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I was like, yeah, sovereignity, as I was saying. | |
| It's fucking painful, man. | ||
| That's interesting when you're learning a language and you've never said words that are fairly common read. | ||
| Like Sovereignty, like I have a few, there's a few that occasionally, like I don't, I can't think of any off the cuff, but I know there's some where I've only read them. | ||
| I've never said them. | ||
| And then when someone says them, I'm like, which one is that? | ||
| Is that the silent G one? | ||
|
unidentified
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Huh. | |
| Is that how it sounds? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's a few like, voila. | ||
| I remember I read it off a script. | ||
| I was like, viola. | ||
| It's V-O-I-L-A. French. | ||
| French is not right in Boston. | ||
| Yeah, but somehow or another it is in English scripts and stuff now. | ||
| So sometimes I had to say it on a TV show. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| And I was like, oh, it's viola. | ||
| I thought it was a W. Travelocity. | ||
| I always get that messed up. | ||
| Velocity. | ||
| No, that's fairly simple. | ||
| You should go to the doctor. | ||
| But Italian, man, what is it about the Italian culture? | ||
| Because Italians are known for, first of all, very delicious foods. | ||
| Delicious, rich, fatty, incredibly good food. | ||
| Great wine. | ||
| I know for great wine. | ||
| Art. | ||
| And for being very passionate. | ||
| And they all have that crazy way of talking. | ||
| It's like an art to even communicating. | ||
| When I go back, I have to retrain myself. | ||
| First, nobody ever finishes a conversation and let the other person begin to speak. | ||
| You're constantly going to interrupt each other. | ||
| So it's like, that's just the norm. | ||
| You're not used to it anymore. | ||
| So you're like, oh, I guess it's your turn. | ||
| That is like, there's no such a thing. | ||
| It's no your turn, my turn. | ||
| And then you literally see people who begin to talk, taking this gigantic deep breath. | ||
|
unidentified
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And then we went this way. | |
| And they go on for 10 minutes straight. | ||
| And you're like, Jesus Christ, really? | ||
| Do you have all those that many words in your talk? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I got this photo on my wall. | ||
| It's an American girl in Italy. | ||
| It's from, like, 1950-something. | ||
| And this chick is walking down the street, and these dudes are grabbing their dicks. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I didn't expect that people did that in 1950. I thought that was more of a Jersey Shore type thing. | ||
| More of a more recent thing. | ||
| But no, no, no. | ||
| Creepy dudes have been around since the beginning of time. | ||
| Since dudes were created. | ||
| This picture from Italy in 1950-something. | ||
| I heard somewhere they were saying, particularly northern Europeans, they do many things right, but definitely the romance department is not the one that they are most renowned for. | ||
| No? | ||
| They're not known for romance? | ||
| Not exactly. | ||
| So a lot of the women come down for vacation in Italy to hook up for random summer flings with the exotic, romantic Italian story, and then they go back to have their regular life. | ||
| So who would be the boring dudes from where? | ||
| Boring is a bad word and I'm going to have lots of people... | ||
| Too flat. | ||
| But, you know, they get the reputation for being a little bit on their end. | ||
| Is that like Norway? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Norway, Sweden, even Germany. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's the rap. | ||
| Cold people that are very disciplined but might not be so good at eating pussy. | ||
| Basically, they are going to make awesome cars. | ||
| They are going to run the economy great. | ||
| They are going to do all the things that Italian can't even begin to know where to start. | ||
| No, they do the cars okay, but definitely not the economy part. | ||
| But when it comes to romance, yeah, not quite... | ||
| That muscle hasn't been... | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| In order to have a certain amount of fun in a conversation, there has to be that I don't give a fuck element. | ||
| And there's very few really conservative people that know how to turn that part on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They never know how to not give a fuck. | ||
| They never know when it's important to not give a fuck. | ||
| But it's often important to not give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| For fun, for passion, for partying, for, you know, just to laugh with your friends. | ||
| And if you can't do that, if you can't let that go, you're tightly knit and figuring out how to fucking use gears and levers in order to make your car work better. | ||
| That's old. | ||
| The time is work. | ||
| You know, after a while, man. | ||
| Yeah, even the language. | ||
| I mean, you try to say something sweet and lovable in German. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was one of the craziest things about Hitler's speech. | ||
| It wasn't just what he was saying was fucked up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was that crazy ass language he was saying it in. | ||
| This like really alien, angry, you know, to be an American in the 1940s, like when all this was going on. | ||
| And to see that guy, I guess they saw him in movie theaters, right? | ||
| That's how they would see that? | ||
| See that guy screaming at the top of his lungs, that crazy fucking mustache in that weird language that you didn't understand? | ||
| That had to be goddamn terrifying. | ||
| Seriously, man, because you see the videos and you see these Thousands of people standing, totally disciplined, listening, complete silence to the guy going crazy. | ||
| And then when you finish the sentence, they all jump up with one shout. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's freaky. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| The men that get to that position, that crazy position where they can talk a whole gang of people into doing something really, really bad. | ||
| And everybody is disciplined and everybody is along with them. | ||
| Those are some of the scariest moments in all of history. | ||
| Yeah, seriously. | ||
| Group or leader with nefarious intentions is super charismatic, super driven, and super insane. | ||
| All together and in control. | ||
| That's the worst possible. | ||
| Just coming over here, I was listening to a Dan Carlin's episode, to the latest Hardcore History, and he was going off about this story about what was happening in Germany in the 1500s. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's like the trippiest, weirdest story ever. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Yeah, I guess it's the origins of Lutherism, and what he's talking about was, I did not know this, and this is one of the amazing things about that podcast, I did not know that most people couldn't read the Bible as recently as 1500. Death penalty offence in most countries. | ||
| If you owned your own Bible, you read the Bible by yourself, not in Latin, through the priest, but instead you had your own thing, you could be put to death. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| Because if you read it on your own, you make weird ideas and then you would water down the truth and misconstrue God's Word. | ||
| That's not that long ago. | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, that's not even a thousand years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's so crazy. | ||
| But that's the thing that makes you wonder about human beings, that the vast majority of human beings just go with the program of whatever they are taught in those times. | ||
| And when you look at that, like, even if you look back 70 years and you look at racism in the United States, anybody who went along with the norm of what was typical in American society 70 years ago would be seen as, like... | ||
| batshit crazy today. | ||
| And yet, back then, there were plenty of people against it, but they were the minority. | ||
| The majority of people were like, yeah, of course, those damn people of color. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like, people are Donkeys being trained with the carrot and the stick since they are born. | ||
| They don't question shit. | ||
| Well, it's super easy for people to believe some crazy shit as long as the people around you believe crazy shit as well. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We have a real problem like that where we can get sucked into our atmosphere. | ||
| Especially if you are an easily led person or a person who doesn't have a really fully formed opinion of the world. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the things they do to people when they torture them. | ||
| They take away your view of the world. | ||
| They take away your ability to look at things rationally. | ||
| And then when they start talking to you, it's like, now they're your friends. | ||
| That's Stockholm Syndrome, right? | ||
| When they kidnap people. | ||
| The kidnapper becomes someone who you love. | ||
| You give in. | ||
| You relent. | ||
| And that's why in that Homeland Show, that concept works. | ||
| That they kidnap these guys and turn them into suicide bomb, these American GIs. | ||
| Which is a pretty creepy fucking premise and scary premise. | ||
| But the idea is that people change if you change their environment. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| That's why, to me, the healthiest thing anybody can do about anything is question everything you're taught. | ||
| Not because you're, like, a pain in the ass teenager who just want to be different for the hell of being different. | ||
| Just because, precisely, if you value something, you should question it. | ||
| It's the same thing as, like, when you say on-it products. | ||
| You try them. | ||
| You check it out for yourself. | ||
| If it works, you go for it. | ||
| If it doesn't, you don't. | ||
| It has to be by direct experience. | ||
| Otherwise, if you start going by the shit that other people tell you, And it's about belief and going on fate almost. | ||
| How the fuck do you know anyway? | ||
| Well, the real problem with that is that should be the way we do it. | ||
| We should go on other people. | ||
| The problem is there's too many dummies out there. | ||
| There's too many people out there that don't know what the fuck is going on in their own life and they can't give you advice and they can't give you an honest assessment whether something works or doesn't work is good or is not good. | ||
| But that should be the way we go on it. | ||
| And it should be that we can completely trust everybody. | ||
| You know, if we could figure out how to eliminate deception... | ||
| That would be one of the best things ever for the human race. | ||
| If we could figure out how to eliminate the need to steal and deception. | ||
| Just those two things alone. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Earn what you deserve. | ||
| Earn what you deserve. | ||
| And don't deceive to get there. | ||
| Don't lie. | ||
| Whether it's in business or in your personal life, your friendships. | ||
| And when we figure that out, that's going to be gigantic. | ||
| Because it's really, that's one of the beauties when people start talking about psychedelics helping people. | ||
| One of the beautiful things is that it eliminates the ego. | ||
| And the ego is the one that's locking you into all that stupid shit. | ||
| The ego is locking you into your past experiences. | ||
| The ego is locking you into your idea of who you are. | ||
| That's the kind of shit that allows people to do creepy things. | ||
| That's what allows people to steal and deceive and use trickery. | ||
| That's someone who's like, your ego's allowing you to do that. | ||
| Your sense of humanity and justice. | ||
| How would you want the world to behave? | ||
| What if everyone was like that? | ||
| By doing it yourself, are you giving the green light for everyone to just go straight pirate? | ||
| Do you know how hard human beings have worked for so fucking long to get ourselves to a position where We can walk down the street in almost every city in the country and be reasonably safe when you're driving and you can be reasonably safe, despite the fact that you're dealing with millions and millions and millions of people. | ||
| When you go rogue, you cunt up this whole awesome system that everybody's been busting their ass. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| To me, it's weird because my relationship with the law, I guess, is... | ||
| The law. | ||
| That's the law for folks. | ||
| Thanks for the translation. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| The law, as I was saying, the... | ||
| Man, there's so many fucking words I can say, but in any case... | ||
| There are a lot of laws I break on a fairly regular basis, but my, I guess, moral standpoint on that is anything I do, whether legal or illegal, the end result can't be hurting another human being. | ||
| If anybody walks home crying because of something I did, it's fucked up. | ||
| If I'm breaking laws that don't really hurt another human being, there's not one person who's going to shed a tear over it, then I have no problem with it, you know? | ||
| Well, I agree with that if you're running a red light at 3 in the morning when there's no one around. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| But I think even if – certain laws like financial laws, there's a reason why people are willing to steal things from their job and people are willing to lie about their taxes. | ||
| And one of the reasons is that regular people, people who are worried about their money and scratch and scrape and save for vacations if they ever get a vacation – Regular people see the type of shit that goes on on Wall Street. | ||
| They see, like, those houses on the Hamptons on those TV shows and those crazy places in Greenwich, Connecticut, where these people have fucking airports in their backyard and helicopter landing pads in the middle of their... | ||
| Polo field. | ||
| It's insane money. | ||
| You're talking about people who have hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars, so many of them. | ||
| And what do they offer? | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| Well, they're in the financial business. | ||
| They move numbers around. | ||
| They figure out a way to extract money from the system. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| They get really good at extracting money from the system. | ||
| And the best piece of evidence is what's in front of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What exactly do you do? | ||
| You move numbers, you buy, you sell, you do this, you do that. | ||
| How the fuck have you acquired the amount of wealth that you need to own a gigantic compound in Greenwich, Connecticut? | ||
| What benefit have you given? | ||
| What have you done there? | ||
| What have you done? | ||
| You've extracted money from the system. | ||
| That's what you've done. | ||
| Whether it's legal or illegal, it's the same shit because you know the laws that are in place are only in place because somebody bribed somebody. | ||
| And that's a fact. | ||
| Somebody used special interest money to make something happen somewhere that somebody liked and somebody passed that law and got things through. | ||
| And that's how the system is set up the way it is. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| I mean, if you're going to be in the game anyway, then I have no problem breaking certain laws, but I don't break my own laws. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Social laws, fuck it. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| As long as... | ||
| The problem is, when people... | ||
| When people stop being goody-goody and go buy the book, they, at that point, they just go nuts, right? | ||
| So it's like, it's not just that they slightly break a few laws because those laws don't make sense, it's they go all out and there's a rape and pillage and whatever the fuck. | ||
| Or they are these goody-goody freaks who are... | ||
| Both of them, I mean, I prefer the one that's not going to shoot you at 3am, but at the end of the day, they both are stuck in this dogmatic view of the world about how it's supposed to be. | ||
| And to me, once you break laws, you have to be, there's a Bob Dylan line in one of his songs that he says, to live outside the law, you must be honest, which sounds like a paradox, right? | ||
| Because he's saying, what the fuck do you mean? | ||
| Like, How are you going to be honest by breaking laws? | ||
| And it really is. | ||
| You need to be, otherwise you turn into some fucked up criminal. | ||
| But if you're going to do it, you need to have some pretty serious moral safeguard that you have on your own. | ||
| Then you don't need any god or cop to catch you to make you not do it. | ||
| You don't do certain things because they are fucked up, period. | ||
| And you're just not going to do it because it's what's inside of you. | ||
| That's a very romantic notion, man. | ||
| That's like a fucking Clint Eastwood movie. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You know, it is, right? | ||
| The romantic notion of the ethics of being an outlaw. | ||
| Outlaw ethics. | ||
| I realized a few days ago, I was, you know, like Facebook has those things like inspirational people or shit like that, where you're playing, you throw down some names. | ||
| I realized I put down Robin Hood twice. | ||
| I was like, shit, really? | ||
| Twice? | ||
| That important to me? | ||
| At different point in time, I'm like, okay, I see a pattern here. | ||
| I didn't know that Robin Hood was initially about poaching. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's about food. | ||
| Right, because they didn't let the poor hunt. | ||
| They wouldn't let the poor hunt on the land. | ||
| So these poor, they had no money and no food, and they started shooting deer, and Robin Hood would shoot these deer and give them to poor people. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| People are such silly bitches. | ||
| The fact that kings ever worked, that that ever worked, that anybody was ever willing to, like, admit your grace, royalty, you know, that's one of the beautiful things about that, and I know it's a fantasy novel, but Game of Thrones is the way they communicate with each other, the way the royals, like, have this secret guarded way of communicating with each other, but the actors are so good that it's like, The intention is very clear throughout everything, and they have this very proper way of handling and managing every situation. | ||
| It's so fascinating. | ||
| That show is awesome. | ||
| That royal blood thing is such a trip. | ||
| Again, I know that this is just a TV show that's bullshit. | ||
| They've got dragons and stuff. | ||
| It's not based on reality. | ||
|
unidentified
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What the fuck? | |
| No dragons, really? | ||
| That idealistic way of communicating did exist, at least in small places, in small pockets, for quite a while, right? | ||
| Absolutely, but the thing that, yeah, the thing that trips me out is not only how it evolves, that part is actually the cool part about it, is how it evolves that one day some guy shows up and say, you know what, I'm gonna be your king, you call me your majesty, and it's not because God wants it to be that way. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, if I go do that around today, I probably don't have such success. | ||
| How the fuck did people go along with that? | ||
| It's just amazing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Do you think that being a king and that kind of thing comes from the original alpha male primate behavior that chimps exhibit and monkeys exhibit where there's one that's always the alpha? | ||
| So almost like we have this weird broken need to have that one. | ||
| So we go looking for it, whether it's a king or a priest or whatever. | ||
| There's a one. | ||
| It could be that way. | ||
| It could also be, and one doesn't exclude the other, but it could also be like in hunting and gathering societies, which is how we have lived the majority of time we've been around, You have kind of this informal leadership because it's all like 20, 30 people who have known each other all their life. | ||
| So when there's a decision to be made, everybody turn to you because you are cool, you're smart. | ||
| Last time you gave us good advice. | ||
| You don't have real power. | ||
| But when you settle down and you start living in farming communities and the 30 people become 300 and then become 3,000, there's a lot more of those little inner fights. | ||
| You know, people within the tribe who start fighting each other. | ||
| And so you need the leader to come mediate because he's a cool guy. | ||
| But it stops being, oh, you're a nice guy. | ||
| You do that once in a while. | ||
| It becomes a full-time job. | ||
| And it becomes so important to keep the society together, make sure that people don't kill each other. | ||
| It's like, you know what? | ||
| Stop planting your fields. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| We understand that it's a pain in the ass for you to constantly be Having to worry about our little squabbles, but it's such an important job, we'll plant for you. | ||
| And suddenly there's a division of social classes, where suddenly somebody's a specialized job that emerged, maybe because they are cool people. | ||
| Maybe it starts out that people give them that power. | ||
| Hey, man, you're really smart. | ||
| You can always solve the problem. | ||
| And then, the bigger the society gets, the more the social stratification, the more that position becomes entrenched, solid, unquestionable. | ||
| It passes to their kids, kings, divine right, all of that shit. | ||
| But probably the way it starts, it starts in a mellow, normal way. | ||
| Like, oh, man, you're a cool guy. | ||
| You give good advice. | ||
| Please help us mediate, you know? | ||
| And the more the need for mediation increases, the more important the role becomes, until it becomes something above and separate from everybody else's. | ||
| And it's not leadership by charisma anymore. | ||
| It becomes leadership by birth or some shit. | ||
| By right, by divine right, by enforcement of the group of people that agrees with you, and then you divvy up power within the group. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, it's madness. | ||
| It's amazing that it existed as the norm, though. | ||
| What's amazing is that it's not just that in one place a king was born. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they had a king, and wow, this is crazy. | ||
| How'd they do a king thing? | ||
| Nobody else would agree with that. | ||
| No, everybody agreed to it. | ||
| They agreed to it all over the world. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They agreed to the emperor in China. | ||
| They had an emperor in Japan. | ||
| Basically, everybody was rocking that king thing at one time. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, because you can't have a big society without central authority. | ||
| It sounds awful to say because it sounds like you're defending some fascist model of the world where it's like, you need a strong... | ||
| Again, I'm not going to do my weird voice, but... | ||
| That's need for central authority to keep the society in check. | ||
| And unfortunately, when you put enough people together, It's not going to work unless you have some kind of central authority that can decide things. | ||
| That's the long chess game of the New World Order. | ||
| If you think about it, why would you ever want the world to be stable? | ||
| Because if the world was stable, you wouldn't need some sort of militarized government to protect you. | ||
| So the militarized government that's protecting you makes sure the world stays unstable. | ||
| It keeps the party rolling. | ||
| Because if everybody just agrees to settle the fuck down and stop killing each other, then you don't really need as many jets. | ||
| You don't have as many resources or as much resources going to war. | ||
| There's all sorts of shit you could solve. | ||
| Military industrial complex, yes. | ||
| You're locked into the grip of this constantly feeding machine that constantly has momentum working in the same direction. | ||
| And there's money to be made in it. | ||
| It's not like it's a... | ||
| Just an altruistic adventure to try to fix the world and engineer it properly. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Everybody's making money in staggering amounts. | ||
| It's the best money-making thing in the whole world. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I mean, the whole speech by Heisenhower in the 50s was a trip because, you know, Heisenhower, a Republican guy, was led troops in World War II, you know, not the most Conspiracy theory inclined, you know, he's a very straight-by-the-book kind of guy, and yet when he announces, you know, the biggest threat facing the United States in the 50s, everybody says, well, communism, right? | ||
| No, military-industrial complex. | ||
| He's like, the fuck are you talking about again? | ||
| And you know, the guy is... | ||
| A military guy himself, a fairly conservative guy, and yet he makes the call saying if you let certain industries that profit on war get too big, they will get to have influence over government pushing us to fight wars when we don't really need it because of their own profit. | ||
| And, you know, if it comes from some random hippie telling you this, it's like, yeah, whatever, you know. | ||
| It comes from this straight-laced, by-the-book kind of guy. | ||
| It's like, whoa, really? | ||
| You know, when I first found that out, that I saw that speech, I was really pissed that no one ever showed it to me in high school. | ||
| They never did? | ||
| No. | ||
| They didn't talk about it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, that never came up in my high school. | ||
| Nobody ever said that Eisenhower warned us about the military-industrial complex. | ||
| The concept... | ||
| Of the military-industrial complex being anything but good, or the military being anything but good is never taught. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah, it was never taught when I was in high school. | ||
| Not in my school. | ||
| I went to Newton South High School, which is a very good high school in the suburbs of Boston. | ||
| It's a very good school. | ||
| Very smart kids. | ||
| And I don't remember any of that. | ||
| No, there's no idea. | ||
| There was never really... | ||
| That's a really... | ||
| That's a very controversial subject to be teaching children. | ||
| It's fun though. | ||
| That's what it's about. | ||
| They are going to pay attention to that. | ||
| They are not going to pay attention if you say the president in 18... | ||
| But I mean controversial in that a lot of parents are going to think that that's like liberal programming and then what you're doing is bullshitting these kids with your hippie ideas and you're fucking with my kid's head. | ||
| It's like I'm reporting what some Republican president who was a general in World War II said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back off. | ||
| Yeah, it's still, though, it's such a... | ||
| At least it was when I was in high school. | ||
| It's such a sensitive area to accuse the government of doing anything nefarious. | ||
| That was never done. | ||
| Like, when I was in high school, they taught us Lee Harvey Oswald shot fucking Kennedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, yeah, they did. | ||
| Of course they did. | ||
| That's how it was, right? | ||
| That's exactly what it was. | ||
| They showed you Lee Harvey Oswald, and they showed Jack Ruby killing Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| God darn it. | ||
| We'll never even know now why he killed the president. | ||
| Like, they taught us that in high school. | ||
| And this is like... | ||
| Years after they had the Zapruder film shown on the Geraldo Rivera show, where Dick Gregory, the stand-up comedian, brought it on the Geraldo Rivera show and showed people the view of the assassination from Essentially, where this guy, Zapruder, was standing, which we had never seen the actual assassination before. | ||
| And when people watched it, the first thing they thought was that this guy looks like he's been shot from the front. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it doesn't look like he got—his head goes back into the left. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Like, he got shot by more than one person, too. | ||
| He got shot in his back. | ||
| He got shot. | ||
| There's one wound that they turned into a tracheotomy wound. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was an entry wound from the front. | ||
| There was a bullet wound where his neck was. | ||
| And there's two different depictions of the autopsy from Bethesda, Maryland to Dallas. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's very interesting stuff. | ||
| But I guess what you're saying puts things in perspective for me, because there are a bunch of times when I'm teaching class, and to me I'm saying the things that are the most normal things that everybody would know. | ||
| And I see everybody kind of like jaw drop to the ground, like... | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Really that happened? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, doesn't everybody... | ||
| Isn't that kind of the stuff that you normally teach? | ||
| And I guess, no, it's not. | ||
| No, it's not at all. | ||
| No, the normal... | ||
| In school, you're taught no conspiracy theories. | ||
| You're taught no variations of the truth. | ||
| You're taught nothing. | ||
| The most controversial it gets is Nixon was involved in a scandal in Watergate. | ||
| You know, they tell you a Nixon... | ||
| That's good to go. | ||
| Yeah, because they got rid of Nixon. | ||
| He did a bad thing. | ||
| This guy, apparently Nixon, had loose morals. | ||
| Did you ever listen to all those Nixon tapes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| There's like hundreds and hundreds of hours of tapes because they had everything miked in the whole entire place. | ||
| And there's like things where like he talks about abortions. | ||
| I just heard this on Open Anthony the other day. | ||
| And there's like parts where he's talking about abortion and stuff like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| You know, just in case of like... | ||
| Just listen to it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He said a lot of creepy shit. | ||
| Creepy shit. | ||
| He was a creep. | ||
| He was a creep. | ||
| And they found out about it by, you know, tapping into his fucking place. | ||
| He was the president. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He knew about it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He knew they were recording all that stuff? | ||
| He was responsible for it. | ||
| No, he was responsible. | ||
| He had everything miked because he wanted to, if anything was to happen, he wanted to have proof. | ||
| So he was like the good guy. | ||
| And what happened is that they just recorded everything. | ||
| I thought they bugged the campaign headquarters. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| What these guys did, they bugged the Democratic campaign headquarters in order to find out what they were saying. | ||
| And when they got busted, that was the scandal. | ||
| You authorized Buckingham. | ||
| That's totally legal. | ||
| And he said, no, no, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, and then eventually came out. | ||
| That was exactly the recording that he was referring to where there's a lot of evidence of what Nixon was actually saying that he did do that shit. | ||
| People need to know if their president's a crook. | ||
| I'm not a crook. | ||
| And that Nixon later afterwards said, well... | ||
| If the president does it, then it's not illegal. | ||
| And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Did he really say that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, he was a creepy dude anyway. | ||
| The weirdest thing about him being president is that is the leader of this great nation. | ||
| That's the best you can do. | ||
| That guy's weird, man. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| That guy, everything about him looks like you made it with a stamp, impressed it in a mold. | ||
| It looks like you polished it up. | ||
| Everything was weird about that guy. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| The way he walked, the way he talked. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| I tend to trust intuition in that regard, at least on a person-to-person level. | ||
| You see somebody and before they say anything, you get a vibe of whether you think there's something weird to the person or not. | ||
| Man, look at a Nixon. | ||
| How the fuck did he become president? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| If you look at him, he's like one of the creepiest guys ever elected to a major office. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of these guys, arms up in the air, weird face. | |
| He's a weird looking dude, man. | ||
| He looks so awkward. | ||
| And he didn't feel warm. | ||
| He didn't feel real. | ||
| He didn't feel... | ||
| There was nothing about him that made... | ||
| With Kennedy, Kennedy had... | ||
| It was obvious he was a special man. | ||
| It was obvious he was... | ||
| A handsome man of great lineage, you know, and he had this way of talking, this charisma. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| You can see it right there. | ||
| It's all real obvious. | ||
| But you get to a guy like Nixon, and you go, what the fuck was going on there, man? | ||
| And it's funny, because he got elected in 1968, which is, you know, in the middle of the 60s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's precisely because the 60s were going on that conservatives got freaked out and they started, oh my God, the country is going in this crazy, wild, godless, liberal direction. | ||
| We need to take it back. | ||
| They got hardcore politically organized to try to elect and they got Nixon in office. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, man, Nixon is a trip. | ||
| They say that the election of 1960 was the first election where the debate was on TV. And they say that people who listen on the radio to the debate think that Nixon had done pretty well. | ||
| But then people who watch it on TV, they overwhelmingly thought Kennedy dominated. | ||
| Because he's so handsome. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then he looked good by comparison, whereas Nixon was like this weird-looking troll that was scary as hell on so many ways. | ||
| And so anybody watching on TV was like, fuck, not that guy. | ||
| He was sweating like a pig. | ||
| He was doing all that. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| That's instinctive. | ||
| It shouldn't be, but it's instinctive. | ||
| I mean, it's not even an appearance thing because Rodney Dangerfield was kind of an ugly dude, but he was so lovable and warm. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, if Rodney Dangerfield had the creepy behavior of Nixon, he would be just as creepy. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Nixon lacked any charisma. | ||
| When you tell people, you know, you trust first impressions, they're like, ah, that's superficial, they're only looking at somebody's good looking or not. | ||
| It's not even about that. | ||
| There's a vibe to people. | ||
| To me, I'm a big believer that I don't know exactly what you see, I don't know if it's some specific body language, I don't know what it is that you see, but to me it's... | ||
| Everything you've ever gone through is written on your skin. | ||
| Is it how you move? | ||
| Is it how you talk? | ||
| Is it how you do everything? | ||
| So it shows up. | ||
| To me, it's not weird that some people can't see it. | ||
| It's like, why the fuck can't most people see it? | ||
| It's like a chihuahua can sniff you for three seconds and decide whether to bark at you or be all like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If a chihuahua can do it, Yeah, but let me tell you something. | |
| Chihuahuas are wrong all the time. | ||
| Those little cunts, they bark constantly. | ||
| They're not the best. | ||
| That's not the best. | ||
| Yeah, okay, fuck. | ||
| I need for a dog. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't qualify as a dog anyway. | ||
| But that is true. | ||
| The dog can sniff you out and learn things about you. | ||
| And people can too. | ||
| We have a weird way of whether or not you trust it and whether or not it's tuned in. | ||
| You've got to have A, been around plenty of crazy people and B, taken a really good look at your own self. | ||
| Look at yourself like really truly objectively. | ||
| Your faults, all of it. | ||
| To be able to recognize it in other people. | ||
| Because if you're bullshitting yourself, It's super easy to get bullshitted. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And if you're bullshitting other people, it's also easy to get bullshitted. | ||
| Because, you know, that was like a big thing in gambling, was the double dump. | ||
| When a guy thought he was getting dumped, but really they were dumping on him. | ||
| You know, the double dump, where you're manipulating how a game goes down. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People are devious little fucks. | ||
| They sure are. | ||
| Well, not all of them. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| Good percentage. | ||
| I'll give you that. | ||
| Once we read each other's minds, that shit's all going to stop. | ||
| I think that's the next step. | ||
| The next step of evolution is going to be knowing whether or not someone's bullshitting you. | ||
| It'll save so much. | ||
| But to me, that's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe I'm too, like, ooh, psychic powers or some shit. | ||
| But to me, that's not even hard to do now. | ||
| Let alone... | ||
| What about that Jodie Arias? | ||
| Well, I mean, that's what I mean. | ||
| Let me tell you something, son. | ||
| She would have got you. | ||
| She would have got you. | ||
| She would have tricked you. | ||
| She would have roped you in. | ||
| She was cute enough that you would say, you know, she wants to be with me. | ||
| I'm going to take a chance. | ||
| You'll be in there with her. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| She doesn't look like an obvious freak. | ||
| There's nothing that's scream freak. | ||
| Wait, you mean sexual freak? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean just like weird, like I'll stab you in the shower kind of freak. | ||
| But as in, she does look... | ||
| Freakishly cold. | ||
| Like, there's something there that's like, there's something weird going on emotionally. | ||
| So I wouldn't be able to tell, oh, yeah, she's this weird wannabe. | ||
| But you could tell, like, huh, there's something off there. | ||
| That bitch is crazy. | ||
| Did you see the video, the security video of her after they arrested her? | ||
| No, I didn't see it. | ||
| She's doing headstands, doing headstands, singing to herself. | ||
| Like, they're locking her up in a cage for the rest of her life for murder and probably going to put her to death. | ||
| And she's singing. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And then when they ask her from jail, like they have a jailhouse interview, it's stunning how well she lies about this. | ||
| And you know what's a beautiful thing that people do so well when they lie about shit like that? | ||
| Well, how are you staying calm, my faith? | ||
| Just think about that statement, that your faith, after you stabbed a dude like 28 times, shot him in the head, slid his neck, like this bitch did some crazy shit to this guy's body. | ||
| And she's like, my faith. | ||
| It makes you wonder. | ||
| I think she actually believes it. | ||
| When she say my fate, I think there's a good chunk of her who actually believe what she's saying. | ||
| She could be one of those people that's so crazy that they sort of reform their reality every three or four hours. | ||
| There's people like that. | ||
| I've seen people that have been able to justify almost anything because they just sort of put it away and then there's a new reality. | ||
| I've never done anything like that. | ||
| You just did it. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| There's a lot of people that are like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They could just shut parts of the brain off. | ||
| And unfortunately, I think a lot of them suffered childhood abuse. | ||
| Yeah, in fact, that's the thing that sometimes, you know, when you got the whole background story, you almost feel bad. | ||
| But then, you know, you feel bad for the five-year-old. | ||
| You don't feel bad for the person you have become because it's like, I understand how you got there, but understanding doesn't mean justifying. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's too fucked up. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Can't let that slide. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| There's certain things as a race we have to figure out how to stop from occurring. | ||
| And I don't think we put any resources into that. | ||
| It's amazing how much we... | ||
| Put resources into making sure that marijuana stays illegal. | ||
| Think about how much money is involved in that. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Four billion a year? | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Something nutty. | ||
| And how much have we really put into trying to help people that are doing a shitty job of raising their children? | ||
| How much... | ||
| I mean, besides like... | ||
| I don't know what you can do, really. | ||
| I mean, besides actively going in there and taking their kids away, you know, but just some form of education, some community center, something. | ||
| I just feel like when you see like really, really poor neighborhoods that are ignored, you're just asking for problems. | ||
| You're just asking for problems. | ||
| You should fix that, level that up as much as possible, help those people out as much as possible, and help them to get the fuck out of there. | ||
| And the thing that drives me crazy about people when they talk about people that are in the ghetto, like, oh, they're poor, they're lazy, that's why they're still on welfare. | ||
| You know, if they don't want to work, you don't... | ||
| You don't get it. | ||
| You don't get it. | ||
| They are in a shit spot. | ||
| And it's super hard to have a good mentality when you're in a shit spot. | ||
| It's very hard. | ||
| So to say that they just fucking get off their lazy asses and stop collecting welfare... | ||
| I think you're probably missing what's going on there. | ||
| Ideology aside, right-wing rhetoric aside, you're dealing with someone who got a terrible roll of the dice. | ||
| And that could have been you, man. | ||
| You could have been in that. | ||
| And just because you could pull out a story or two or three about people who are in that situation. | ||
| And then Rob went on to get his PhD. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And to this day, he says that living in the ghetto does not hold you back. | |
| It's a prison of your own mind. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's always those stories, but the reality is, how much good role models do those kids have? | ||
| How many good role models? | ||
| How much good inspiration? | ||
| How much hope for the future? | ||
| Student of mine, very first semester I started teaching, there was this guy who was from South Central LA, and we started chatting afterwards, and man, the stories he would tell me about what It was a normal part of his day-to-day life. | ||
| He'd be like, yeah, yesterday I didn't get home until midnight from class because somebody killed right down my door and so they had locked up the whole... | ||
| I was like, fuck, really? | ||
| And that shit would happen like three times a year. | ||
| Yeah, it happens all the time. | ||
| You're like, wow. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| It's real dangerous. | ||
| Who you know, running into the wrong people. | ||
| It's all real dangerous. | ||
| And no one's doing shit about it. | ||
| All they do about it is they arrest people when people do things that are bad. | ||
| Instead of making cops' lives way easier. | ||
| And this is all very utopian, hippie. | ||
| We need to fix it. | ||
| We need to do something. | ||
| But it's just weird to me that it never comes up. | ||
| It's weird to me that if you do bring it up, oh, socialism. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's a bunch of babies there, man. | ||
| There's a whole community of future people that you can affect. | ||
| There's a whole new generation of future people that if emphasis is put on helping, somehow or another we can figure out a way to at least eliminate a certain aspect of the lowest of our lowest class society. | ||
| You know, it seems like that could be done with education. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It seems like at least part of it can be done. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Definitely better than it's currently at least. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Way better. | |
| Which is not saying much, but at least it's... | ||
| It's just one of the most frustrating things is how far we've come as a human race and yet how far we have to go when it comes to shit like that. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah, because I mean, the whole emphasis on individual initiative is like, pull yourself up by your bootstrap and stuff. | ||
| There's something good about that. | ||
| Of course, there is an element about self-empowerment that regardless of circumstances, you know, you're not going to change circumstances just because you wish it. | ||
| So there is an element where the individual needs to find a way because if nothing else is doing it for you, you might as well put your best to do it. | ||
| But, having said that, most people then use that argument to dismiss all the social conditions. | ||
| It becomes, well, it's just up to you, so go son, we are all behind you kind of shit. | ||
| But in the meantime, you start from 50 steps behind everyone else because you grew up in a shitty place with drug abuse all over, with alcohol abuse all over, with neural models, with the whole thing. | ||
| And it's like, but, you know, you can do it. | ||
| Well, sweet of you to say, you haven't grown up in that shit. | ||
| It's such a cliche, but a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. | ||
| The most patriotic thing that we could do as a country is not go fuck with some other countries overseas with dubious intentions, but strengthen our weakest link, our weakest economic link, our weakest social link. | ||
| It's a weird thing that politicians don't talk about that, that they don't offer that up as a plan for the future. | ||
| Take Give companies contracts to clean up the ghetto. | ||
| The same kind of contracts you give to clean up fucking Iraq. | ||
| Give contracts to clean up the ghetto. | ||
| It would be amazing. | ||
| Let Halberton make money cleaning up the ghetto. | ||
| Why can't they do that? | ||
| I don't understand why they can't profit off of that. | ||
| It seems ridiculous. | ||
| And it seems like it's just... | ||
| At this point in 2013, we're still doing the same goddamn shit. | ||
| Still going over to countries, getting involved in dubious shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Somehow or another, it can or can't be tied to resources and oil and this and that. | ||
| And, oh, it's conspiracy theory. | ||
| We're over there to stop Islam from taking over our underwear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's like the same goddamn show game. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Well, I mean, in fact, that's what's funny. | ||
| I guess I keep bringing you up today, but that's because you started on him with Dan Carlin. | ||
| I was listening to his series about the Roman Republic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was hilarious because it was the same exact dynamics you see them today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By the book, exactly. | ||
| It's unavoidable. | ||
| It's unavoidable. | ||
| We're stupid. | ||
| We're broken. | ||
| We're broken little crazy animals. | ||
| We don't know how to keep it together. | ||
| We get it together for a certain amount of time, and then we fucking spiral out of control and go slamming into the rocks. | ||
| It's fucking weird because, I don't know, I notice when I look at myself and I analyze where I'm at, if I'm happy with me or not, I see so much fucking room for improvement. | ||
| There are lots of times I'm like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm glad you see it because I would mean to talk to you about your room for improvement. | |
| No, I see a lot of it. | ||
| I like myself, there are good things, but I also see like, ah, fuck, this thing is not so good, this thing, it's a weakness. | ||
| Then I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god! | ||
| That's going to be a meme on the internet for sure. | ||
| Then I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god. | ||
| That is a meme and a half, son. | ||
| You just fucked yourself. | ||
| You just fucked yourself hard. | ||
| You better hope and pray you don't say anything stupid for the next three years. | ||
| That's how long they remember a meme for. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| And I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god. | ||
| No, but you know, the thing that's funny is that it's not that I really think like I'm all that. | ||
| Because when I look at objectively just me, I do see so many places where I could improve. | ||
| But then, you know, the bar is so fucking low on average. | ||
| The average human being, there are so many fucked up shit that people do that I'm like, wow, okay. | ||
| At least... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right when you think that you're a loser because you can't pay your credit card, you hear about this guy in Cleveland that has kidnapped three women for ten years, and you go, I'm not really a bad person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's like, okay, it's... | ||
| Yeah, but that's why it's important to surround yourself with bad motherfuckers. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| You know, to surround yourself with cool people, like, one of the things that I've gotten really good at as I've become an adult is I collect cool people. | ||
| I know how to collect cool friends. | ||
| I got a bunch of cool people that have managed to sneak into my life. | ||
| And that's very important because when you have questions about something, when you want to talk to somebody about something, like I can resource a database of cool, intelligent, level-headed, healthy ego people. | ||
| That's super important. | ||
| It's so hard to find. | ||
| It is. | ||
| That's one of the most important things about choosing a place to live or choosing people to be around is surrounding yourself with inspirational people, people who also are healthy, people who are excited, people who have good attitudes, people who aren't lazy bitches. | ||
| That's probably the most comment I see when I look at your board, when I look at Duncan's board, like people's emails or people when they send you an email like, oh, I love the podcast, stuff like that. | ||
| So many people say the exact same thing you're saying, which is, Jesus Christ, I can't find around me the kind of conversations that you guys have on a podcast. | ||
| Man, I wish, and that's why I listen, because I can't find it around me. | ||
| And, you know, it's amazing. | ||
| It's inspiring to be reminded that not all humanity is like that. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| There's a lot of people that think like us out there, but they weren't connected by a show. | ||
| It's like they were all floating around, and you sort of locked into certain ideologies, and sometimes you could listen to this kind of a show or that kind of a show, but it didn't get locked into... | ||
| Like, where you can all meet up. | ||
| It's almost like you need a spot where you meet up. | ||
| And then everybody goes, I'm not alone. | ||
| I'm not crazy. | ||
| I'm not alone. | ||
| Yeah, this world is fucked. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Because I get up every day and I look at my alarm clock and I go, what the fuck is the point? | ||
| And go into my whack-ass job. | ||
| Well, this is a crazy, fucked up world. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense at all. | ||
| And I'm just stuck in this system which eats up most of my time and therefore leaves with no time to really think about what I'm doing. | ||
| So I'm just caught. | ||
| A creature of momentum Floating down the river of life, trying to figure out a way to get to a lily pad and just catch a breath. | ||
| Fuck me. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| So, you know, that's one of the best things about living in L.A. is that I know so many cool people that live around here. | ||
| It's one of the only things that keeps me around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| It's so important. | ||
| And so important to do it through podcasts, too. | ||
| When we do it, when we bring you these people, you guys out there listening, we bring you these people like Daniele Bolelli, Joe Diaz, and Duncan Trestle. | ||
| That stuff, when it spreads like that, it's good for everybody. | ||
| It's good for all of us. | ||
| Yeah, because I mean, imagine you are the guy who lives in a town of 2,000 people in Nebraska or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you are the... | ||
| Everybody you relate to feel like they live in a parallel universe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you feel like you are the weird... | ||
| Before internet, you would have been really fucked. | ||
| With internet, you can have access to a whole other world out there where you're like, okay, I'm not just the only crazy one in town. | ||
| There really is something different. | ||
| And you can share it with other people in your town, too. | ||
| You can say, listen, there's this dude named Duncan Trussell, and you've got to hear this fucking podcast, and it's going to change the way you look at marriage. | ||
| Or a flashlight, too. | ||
| Or a flashlight. | ||
| Yeah, that's what the internet provides that nobody had before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, that's one of the things that was really fascinating about this Dan Carlin podcast is he was talking about Martin Luther and how they printed up—this is amazing stuff, folks—they made these little, like, pamphlets, and they handed out these pamphlets about religion, and people would hide them and share them with each other, and they were, like, secret. | ||
| And it spread like a wildfire. | ||
| This guy, Martin Luther, he was the first guy to translate the Bible in a phonetic language. | ||
| The first guy to make it so that the people who didn't understand Latin could actually read the word of the Bible. | ||
| Yeah, because at that time, when he started doing that, it was a death penalty offense to own a Bible or read it in, you know, Christian countries. | ||
| It was bad, bad, bad. | ||
| You had to be a priest. | ||
| Because only a priest can read it correctly. | ||
| If you read it on your own, you're going to screw things up and pollute the Word of God. | ||
| And back then, the Pope had bitches. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| The Pope had mistresses. | ||
| What's the point of being a Pope otherwise? | ||
| Crazy cash. | ||
| The Pope was going to war with the Mongols. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| No, actually, the Pope went to war with the Romans, right? | ||
| Who went to war? | ||
| The Pope led an army, right? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, there were a gazillion of these stories where sometime before they became Pope, they were like general or some shit, slaughter a whole town, and then eventually they become Pope. | ||
| Slaughter a whole town, then become a Pope. | ||
| Sometime when they were actually Pope. | ||
| When did Pope and being a priest in general become so gay? | ||
| Not that there's anything wrong with that. | ||
| No, I think like throughout it was the only cover that you had if you didn't have heterosexuality where you get married and you just have kids and all of that shit if you just wasn't in you and You couldn't fake it. | ||
| And it's not like you had the option of saying, no, sorry, I'm out of this because I like dudes or something. | ||
| You couldn't say that. | ||
| Couldn't you just teach poetry and everybody would just give you a wink and they knew it was up? | ||
| Not even because everybody's expected to get married. | ||
| If you're not married and you don't have kids, what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| If you become a priest, it's your only cover because I'm in the service of God. | ||
| Then it's like, oh, okay, that's why you don't touch women and stuff. | ||
| How many men back then must have had beards? | ||
| Beards meaning wives that weren't really their wife. | ||
| They had a wife just for... | ||
| They even fucked her and got her pregnant. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Really, they were just out getting booty every night. | ||
| Plenty, plenty, plenty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| That's only 1500s, man. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That Martin Luther shit was nuts. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And that people that didn't think he took it far enough, they took it to another level? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What was it called again? | ||
| Anabaptism? | ||
| Anabaptism, yeah. | ||
| And even those guys, there are like so many subdivisions, that's why this thing gets so crazy. | ||
| Most of those guys were hardcore pacifists who sort of read the New Testament in a very literal, you know, turn the other cheek. | ||
| Love your enemies so they wouldn't fight under any conditions. | ||
| But then there were some guys who decided, well, I like some of your interpretation, which was the more pro-poor, semi-communist interpretation of the New Testament. | ||
| But this peaceful shit, yeah, I don't like that part. | ||
| So we'll just go for the hardcore pro-poor, pro-communist approach, but we'll just bash bastards' heads along the way. | ||
| And we'll take people's things. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They decided that there would be no private property. | ||
| No one should be able to own anything. | ||
| It's like we all enjoy fire. | ||
| We all enjoy the sun. | ||
| They were going deep. | ||
| Some of the stories are just... | ||
| You can't believe that people go along with you. | ||
| Well, I can't believe that in 1500 you couldn't even read a Bible. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| And that gives you an idea of how much of an institution designed to control people the Catholic Church was. | ||
| You can't get away with it anymore. | ||
| Yeah, you can read the Quran since the beginning of time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's crazy. | ||
| It really is insane. | ||
| And in that sense, that was the cool thing about Martin Luther is about pushing these, everybody can make it decide for themselves, which sound very sweet and democratic. | ||
| But the problem is that then when he started realizing that other people were interpreting the Bible in ways that were completely unlike his, he was just as peaceless as the Catholic with them. | ||
| He's like, no, I meant freedom from the Catholic interpretation. | ||
| I didn't mean really make up your own. | ||
| That's some weird shit that you're interpreting there. | ||
| Who told you that? | ||
| And Protestants started burning people at the stake just as much as Catholics were doing it. | ||
| Well, that was the big time for burning people. | ||
| Yeah, the guy, John Calvin, like the second major figure beside Martin Luther among the Protestants, he was so peace with this one guy because he denied the Trinity, you know, the Father, Son, Holy Ghost thing. | ||
| That he had them burned at the stake and when they were bringing the wood to set him on fire, he said, no, no, not that wood. | ||
| That's dry. | ||
| He's going to burn up quick. | ||
| I want green wood. | ||
| I want this motherfucker to last a long time. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's the guy who started a huge branch of Protestantism? | ||
| They use green wood? | ||
| Yeah, because that way it takes longer to learn. | ||
| That shit takes a long time. | ||
| They cooked a guy to death with green wood? | ||
| I could just see a slow fire cooking your feet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which is like, what kind of a sick motherfucker do you have to be to? | |
| What a dick. | ||
| It's unreal. | ||
| Yeah, there was a lot of Green Mountain Grills. | ||
| I met the owner, by the way, in Sacramento. | ||
| Oh, did you? | ||
| We went drinking and got wasted. | ||
| You got wasted with the owner of Green Mountain Grills? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a great grill. | ||
| I just used mine the other night. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I cooked some of the last of my venison sausage. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Because you keep the temperature the same. | ||
| We went from Martin Luther. | ||
| Well, we were talking about cooking people. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| It was fucked up. | ||
| That is a fucked up part about history, is the cruelty that people were willing to do to their fellow man. | ||
| Again, just a few hundred years ago. | ||
| In the name of ideology. | ||
| I mean, this is not even the stuff where it's like, hey man, you have a lot of cool gold, I want it, sorry, tough luck, I'll bash your skull in because I want to take it. | ||
| It's not nice, but you can see a logic to it at least. | ||
| This is about some... | ||
| You don't believe in the Trinity? | ||
| That's why I'm gonna burn you to that? | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's what we argue about? | ||
| The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, yeah. | ||
| Your daughter's rape killer. | ||
| Well, that wasn't the Catholic Church. | ||
| That's more of an Islamic approach, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| But the thing is that what scares me to me is not even one group or the other. | ||
| It's like anybody who puts ideology above real individuals around them. | ||
| Anybody who goes... | ||
| In that sense, to me, any kind of ideology in that sense is a disease because rather than interpreting life by looking at what really is going on, you are trying to interpret it to this filter of your... | ||
| It has to fit my preconceived notion of the universe. | ||
| And if life doesn't, then there's something wrong with life. | ||
| I'm going to disregard that evidence because I got it all figured out. | ||
| Yeah, it can be beneficial if you follow a really positive ideology, but just following an ideology itself is so dangerous. | ||
| It's like the idea that one person or one idea, one thought will prevail above all despite rational changes in your environment, changes around you. | ||
| That's what a religion really is. | ||
| A religion is an ideology. | ||
| That's where it really becomes a problem. | ||
| We get locked into those too easy for some reason. | ||
| It's like a broken circuit. | ||
| We have a defect. | ||
| I think life is It's too complex for most people to deal with. | ||
| There are too many exceptions. | ||
| There's too much change going on. | ||
| So what was working yesterday may not work today. | ||
| And it's too much. | ||
| It's too much work. | ||
| People don't want to deal with it. | ||
| So one of the things that people dig is the ability to have some solid dogma to fall back on that is reassuring, makes them feel good about life. | ||
| It makes them feel like I know what's going on as opposed to be constantly on the ball and figure things out as you go. | ||
| Yeah, especially folks that seem to have a little extra fear or a little less curiosity or they get tired easier. | ||
| It's so easier for them to just lock on to something, but it's also easier for people who are mentally ill to lock on to something. | ||
| That's one of the weirdest things when you see an obviously mentally ill person screaming, firing, brimstone, and you're like, ugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| Yeah, no, you're right on that. | ||
| And it's hilarious how people apply to every aspect of life, even when they are not that flat out crazy, but just a couple of degrees lower, that desire for owning the truth and for... | ||
| Martial arts is the same... | ||
| I mean, martial arts is the same crap, right? | ||
| Before MMA, before Bruce Lee, everybody was like, Judo is the shit, fuck karate. | ||
| You guys suck. | ||
| And it was the same mentality that organized religions have. | ||
| It's the same mentality that... | ||
| I got the truth, everybody else must be wrong, and I'm gonna defend it against all evidence, no matter what. | ||
| Yeah, martial arts are very cult-like. | ||
| A lot of the traditional martial arts, and although I benefited a lot from that, I was definitely locked in. | ||
| It's just, I was lucky that it was very positive, and it was beneficial towards me, but it was all bowing, everyone was, sir, you know, you wore a special outfit when you walked into the place. | ||
| Certain words you would use. | ||
| There's a lot of mind control to it. | ||
| It wasn't just discipline. | ||
| It was also like they were instilling a program in your mind. | ||
| And if you accepted that program, it would make you a more efficient fighter. | ||
| It would make you a more efficient killer. | ||
| It would make you more disciplined. | ||
| And that's the beauty of MMA is when everybody was claiming this stuff. | ||
| They built a cult in so many ways. | ||
| Many traditional martial arts built a cult in terms of cult of personality and the wise master who knows everything and all these rules are designed to increase this sense of hierarchy sometimes. | ||
| And in things like UFC, it's like, well, prove it. | ||
| Which is almost blasphemous if you say it in a more traditional context where... | ||
| You're not saying it as a challenge. | ||
| You're not telling somebody to fuck off, but you're saying, hey man, that sounds like a cool theory. | ||
| Show me. | ||
| Show me that it works under pressure. | ||
| Under the real pressure of an actual fight. | ||
| That's as close to emulating an actual fight as you can get. | ||
| Yeah, and that stuff in most traditional elements, like in most religions, is blasphemy to say that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You're questioning the master? | ||
| You're doing... | ||
| And it's like questioning is the healthiest thing, man. | ||
| It's like I'm giving him a chance to prove it. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't work anymore. | ||
| That's the whole idea that you can't question. | ||
| That's out. | ||
| That one's out. | ||
| That one's out. | ||
| Anybody who tells you not to question, question that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because that's a mess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Who the fuck are you that you can't be questioned? | ||
| Are you an alien? | ||
| Are you from another planet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Are you the perfect being? | ||
| Are you Dr. Manhattan? | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dr. Manhattan. | |
| No, you're not, you silly bitch. | ||
| That's exactly where I was going with the new book that I published. | ||
| The new book is called Create Your Own Religion. | ||
| What is it on? | ||
| What publishing company? | ||
| It's Disinfo. | ||
| Disinfo is a subset of Wiser, but yes. | ||
| Yeah, disinfo.com. | ||
| I have both of the original Disinfo books. | ||
| You're Being Lied To. | ||
| That's a great book, man. | ||
| You read that book and you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| That was almost pre-internet. | ||
| I mean, it was a part of the internet movement, but having that book around... | ||
| It's like if you went over someone's house and you saw you're being lied to, you're like, all right, man. | ||
| You fucking tuned in like me, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know how the man's been lying to you as well. | |
| Daniele Bolele. | ||
| So create your own religion. | ||
| What is the concept behind it? | ||
| It's just to add all the best parts to all the different ideologies that you've ever found and just sort of Bruce Lee it all. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| It's the MMA approach to religion is what... | ||
| The way MMA stands to traditional martial arts is like this approach is what stands to regular religions, which is not all the good stuff comes from the same place. | ||
| You need to look at multiple places. | ||
| You need to test it. | ||
| You need to see what works or doesn't. | ||
| And rather than being like, Christianity sucks or it's like... | ||
| Try. | ||
| Try some things, maybe 80% of it you think is crazy bullshit that makes no sense, but you find a couple of gems that can help you in life. | ||
| Then use them. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Doesn't mean I'm mirroring the ideology, but I'm going to take whatever I can use to make life. | ||
| To me, the only thing that matters is elevating the quality of life. | ||
| If you're elevating the quality of life, I don't give a fuck where you got the source information from. | ||
| That's not what it's about. | ||
| It's where it's leading. | ||
| What kind of results does it create? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what interests me, which is exactly the MMA mentality. | ||
| It doesn't matter whether the technique is judo or karate or boxing or whatever the fuck. | ||
| If it works, it works. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of the things about human beings, ultimately, is that we need someone to lead by example. | ||
| You know, you can't just get up and tell us how to do things. | ||
| You can't just get up and tell us... | ||
| That's why people, especially should be... | ||
| Really distrusting of politicians in 2013. The way human beings should talk should be explaining what they've learned from their own experiences. | ||
| It should not be telling people what they should do. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It should be learning from your own experiences, telling you. | ||
| And if you don't have any experiences, if you don't have any really unique experiences or really unique thoughts and experiences, why the fuck would you think that you should be able to lead? | ||
| Well, you're trying to lead because you're saying the words the right way, and you're saying the things that the polls say people want to hear, but as far as unique individual thoughts, like this shit like I Have a Dream that you could hear today, and you go, that motherfucker just nailed it. | ||
| He just nailed it. | ||
| Martin Luther King nailed it. | ||
| Kennedy's speech about secret societies, or any of his speeches. | ||
| He has a bunch of brilliant speeches. | ||
| Where the guy just, it made sense. | ||
| You're dealing with a unique individual. | ||
| You're dealing with a person with great intelligence. | ||
| You're dealing with a person that you should be paying attention to. | ||
| And those people are usually... | ||
| They are both cocky and humble at the same time. | ||
| Because, you know, there's a certain cockiness that comes from you are a bad motherfucker and you know it because you're doing things that no one else is doing. | ||
| But at the same time, you know your limits real well. | ||
| You see all the times when stuff that you do and say doesn't work. | ||
| It boils down to being honest with oneself. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which means neither pumping yourself up or faking modesty because you're... | ||
| It's like, this is how it is. | ||
| This is the stuff that I do well. | ||
| This is the stuff where my experience stops right there and I don't know anything beyond that or And even experience, people get into this trip of making perfect sense of it, right? | ||
| This is the event, and I'm going to derive 12 lessons from it. | ||
| Sometimes you can. | ||
| Sometimes it's just like, that's my experience, and it's fucking mind-blowing, and I don't know exactly what to make of it. | ||
| And that's honest. | ||
| It's like looking at what things that happen, rather than running with it beyond what experience warrants, that you just acknowledge what happened, you acknowledge what you derive from it, and keep an open mind, the fact that there's probably more to it. | ||
| Now, your idea about this book, is this just to pick out all the cool shit that you've learned? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All the cool shit that you've found and you're studying? | ||
| You've studied religion for how long now? | ||
| Yeah, for a bunch. | ||
| And to me, it's like, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I'm teaching, I always end up talking about the same stuff. | ||
| Whether I'm talking about, I start from American Indian history or religion or martial arts, I end up talking about the same things because they are the stuff that life is made of. | ||
| The cool topics. | ||
| Sex, gender roles. | ||
| Talk about, yeah. | ||
| Sex and gender roles. | ||
| Yeah, all good stuff. | ||
| Is there one way to the truth? | ||
| Is there multiple ways? | ||
| It's like the relationship with death and dying. | ||
| How do you deal with that? | ||
| How do you deal with the physical world, with your own body? | ||
| I mean, the big topics are always the same. | ||
| They don't change. | ||
| The specific examples that you gather from may differ. | ||
| So to me, I pick like... | ||
| A chapter each on some of the big things for me, the things that in my mind any human being need to find, need to decide where they stand on some of these issues. | ||
| And I look at what's out there. | ||
| Some answers make no sense to me and they seem to lead down really unhealthy paths. | ||
| So thank you, but no thanks. | ||
| Other answers make more sense or maybe they don't and I come up with my own. | ||
| But it's basic. | ||
| It really is boiled down to the Bruce Lee You know, research your own experience, reject what is useless, absorb what is useful, and add what's specific here on. | ||
| You know, his basic methodology for how to approach knowledge. | ||
| I mean, he applied it to martial arts, but really is a brilliant way of approach just any kind of knowledge, whether it's about life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard for people to accept that, right? | ||
| It's much easier to follow the pattern that your family's followed. | ||
| I'm a Lutheran because my grandma's a Lutheran. | ||
| Grandpa always said that no matter what, we'll be Lutherans. | ||
| I remember talking to this girl, and she said that she was going to get a tattoo of a cross. | ||
| And I said, oh, I go, you're really religious? | ||
| She goes, well, not really, but you know what? | ||
| I was born Catholic, and I figure that no matter what, that's the one thing that I'll be for the rest of my life. | ||
| And I remember saying, I'm like, you know, I didn't know her very well. | ||
| So I was like, okay, how do you know? | ||
| Like, how do you know you won't change your mind about that? | ||
| And she's like, oh my God, my family would kill me. | ||
| And I was like, oh, okay, well, good luck with that. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Those are the cases that had World War II gone different. | ||
| There would be people today who are like, no, I'm not really Nazi. | ||
| But, you know, if I don't put the swastika on, my grandma, her feelings would get really hurt. | ||
| I don't hate the Jews, but grandma fucking hates Jews. | ||
| I love grandma. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You know, it's like, I don't want to make them sad, you know. | ||
| What's hilarious is that she was going to get a Catholic tattoo in the first place because in the Bible it very specifically says... | ||
| So getting a religious tattoo is like, were you not listening to me? | ||
| No, I listen when it's convenient. | ||
| But a cross tattoo is so sexy. | ||
| It makes me look spiritual and it thins out my back. | ||
| That's the other point of people get pissed when you create your own. | ||
| It's like, What do you mean create your own? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| There are some absolute truths that fall from heaven. | ||
| Oh, stop. | ||
| All of the people are making up their own shit anyway. | ||
| I mean, when people say they follow something, it's bullshit, really. | ||
| They are making up their own thing because they will edit some parts that they don't like. | ||
| They will focus on the parts they like and pretend that it's the one and only interpretation. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| If you're going to do that, might as well be honest and just pick from any source if you're going to pick and choose. | ||
| I think that religion in general in the future is much more likely to be studied and less likely to be practiced. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because I think, especially in a really hardcore fundamentalist form, it's much less likely that people are going to accept that as time goes on and information gets distributed Right. | ||
| But then again, people will always be afraid of dying. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| People will always be afraid of, you know, where do we come from? | ||
| Is there any meaning in the universe? | ||
| And pure rationality doesn't give you very satisfactory answers. | ||
| No. | ||
| It does not. | ||
| So when you want answers and you can't get them through reason, in that case it's like, well... | ||
| Fuck reason then. | ||
| Just give me any answer because I can't deal with not having some and living that way. | ||
| I need some solid basis. | ||
| I used to have a whole bit about that. | ||
| I would really like to join a cult if anybody could fucking write one that doesn't make me throw up when I read it. | ||
| Just one of you guys. | ||
| Isn't there a smart guy out there that can write Some much more believable shit than Scientology or Mormonism or any of the newcomers. | ||
| Those are the two latest, greatest newcomers that really stuck. | ||
| Mormonism and Scientology. | ||
| And they're both fucking cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. | ||
| You read both of them. | ||
| They're hilarious. | ||
| There's planets and shit. | ||
| They both have extra planets. | ||
| They both have planets where they know some shit's going down. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
| Scientology and Mormonism. | ||
| Like Kolob, right? | ||
| Isn't that the Mormon planet? | ||
| In their story, there's some really... | ||
| My favorite Mormon story is how pre-1970s most Mormons believed that dark skin is a sign that God hates your guts, basically. | ||
| That is... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| In the 1930s, that was fairly mainstream view. | ||
| I wonder what made them change their mind. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| In the 1970s, suddenly God sent a memo saying, wait, wait, you guys got it wrong. | ||
| Dark skin is totally cool. | ||
| I have nothing against it. | ||
| You just made a mistake. | ||
| It's like the civil rights movement managed to convince not just millions of Americans but God himself that racism is no longer cool. | ||
| Yeah, God didn't understand. | ||
| Until he saw Martin Luther King give that speech. | ||
| That's how strong that I have a dream speech is. | ||
| That's why to be the whole pretense that it's divinely revealed, falls from the sky one day. | ||
| It's so funny because people, when it doesn't make sense anymore, people will change it. | ||
| Because it's like, I can't really go around saying this shit anymore. | ||
| It doesn't... | ||
| So, hey, we got it wrong. | ||
| God meant this other way, really, all along. | ||
| Everything we've been saying for the last hundred years is just a misinterpreted thing. | ||
| God was right. | ||
| We were wrong. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| Whoopsies. | ||
| Isn't that like when... | ||
| Martin Luther translated the Bible into a phonetic form, and then the people started interpreting it, and then going, well, how come no one's practicing any of this shit? | ||
| How come you guys are all... | ||
| Why the fuck do you have so much money? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Why are we peasants forever? | ||
| It doesn't say that here. | ||
| You guys made this shit up. | ||
| You made all this shit up about being a peasant and ordained a peasant forever, but then you'll be rewarded for your toils in heaven. | ||
| That's not in here. | ||
| No, definitely. | ||
| It doesn't say in here you're a peasant for life. | ||
| That's the part that I have always the most fun in regards to people making up their own stuff with Christianity. | ||
| It's like, you want to be Christian? | ||
| Hey, there's good stuff. | ||
| Hold for it. | ||
| But then, how are you capitalist at the same time? | ||
| Because there are so many passages where they are so hardcore. | ||
| I mean, you have the Jesus, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. | ||
| Jesus said that? | ||
| Damn, Jesus. | ||
| That shit's deep. | ||
| Karl Marx would blush. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's like, really fucking that far? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that shows up over and over again. | ||
| A bunch of passages are anti-accumulation of wealth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And so it's like, so you're going to be Christian, but you're going to be hardcore capitalist. | ||
| It's like, yeah, because I'm done with Jesus. | ||
| That part about money, I'll just skip over those passages, and I'll focus on some weird interpretation of one passage that may seem that he says something else, and I'm going to ignore the other 19 where he's clearly stating, fuck, accumulation of wealth. | ||
| Yeah, that was the other thing that they had... | ||
| What the book found in the translations was that Jesus hung out with people like them. | ||
| Jesus hung out with the poor and the downtrodden and the prostitutes and that's who Jesus was piling around with. | ||
| Like, what the fuck have you guys been teaching us? | ||
| And so the people that wanted to go even further than Martin Luther, these Anabaptist? | ||
| I guess, is that anarchy baptist? | ||
| Is that a combination of the two? | ||
| No, it's baptism for a second time. | ||
| Because basically they rejected infant baptism because they said, baby doesn't have a fucking choice. | ||
| It needs to be an adult choice. | ||
| So they would baptize you as an adult when you want to. | ||
| Right, and then the third baptism was when they drowned you. | ||
| Yeah, if they catch you, right, if they catch you, and either Lutherans or Catholics, if they would catch you, then they would decide it was, their way of being funny was to drown you, since it's, oh, you like two baptisms, we'll give you a third one. | ||
| And anabaptism, anabaptist thinking, that just, that does sound like anarchistic, you know, anabaptist. | ||
| And they were really radical, huh? | ||
| They wanted no private property. | ||
| They wanted free education, free healthcare. | ||
| Those damn communists. | ||
| Meanwhile, why is that bad? | ||
| This is what drives me crazy. | ||
| It's not that I don't think that people should be able to have land. | ||
| I definitely think that you should be able to have land. | ||
| But why is it so bad to say that you shouldn't? | ||
| Why is everybody so committed to hanging on to it? | ||
| Let's hear this out. | ||
| What if we don't have land? | ||
| Let's have it this way. | ||
| What if the world consists of Jamie, Brian, you, and me, okay? | ||
| We're the only four people left in the world. | ||
| No one left. | ||
| Okay, but the good news is we're on Catalina Island, and that's all there is. | ||
| Can't we just share it? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I'll put my house over here. | ||
| You put your house over there. | ||
| I'll say hi in the morning. | ||
| We got a house on this spot of dirt. | ||
| That gets problematic when you get into the 300 million people range. | ||
| That's the fucking problem. | ||
| The problem is there's too goddamn many of us. | ||
| And everybody would want a house right by the lake. | ||
| Like you... | ||
| I've been by the lake. | ||
| There's too many of us, dude. | ||
| You can't have a house by the lake. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But come on, man. | ||
| Well, we were here first, so listen, this is our land now. | ||
| We have a house by the lake. | ||
| Man, that's fucked up. | ||
| This is our world. | ||
| We're all in this together. | ||
| It is all in this together. | ||
| But I was born in 1947, and I've had this house by the lake, and I'm not giving up my fucking house by the lake. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, can I use your house by the lake? | ||
| No, you can't, bitch. | ||
| I'll shoot you. | ||
| The problem is there's too many of us, and there's not enough cool spots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the real fucking problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not private property. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because really it would be perfect if we all, you know, if we all had use of everything. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| You don't have, it's not my laptop or my table, it's the table, it's the laptop. | ||
| Is there a laptop I can use? | ||
| Yeah, you can use that laptop. | ||
| You know, it's like, that would be beautiful if that worked. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| In Utopia land, it's perfect. | ||
| In Utopia land. | ||
| It's ideal, you know, that is the way you would want to live. | ||
| I want to live in Utopia land. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of the things that I... That I've always wondered. | ||
| Will we see a utopia? | ||
| Will we see a working utopia in our time? | ||
| A working community where no one's a cunt? | ||
| Community, I buy it. | ||
| On a small scale, sure. | ||
| But it would have to start as a community. | ||
| The best you could do, I think, is probably a couple of thousand people. | ||
| Before it started getting wacky. | ||
| And you would have to have meetings and everybody would have to really talk about let's make sure we avoid all the pitfalls that have fell on all societies before us. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| That's some serious end-of-the-world type shit, though. | ||
| That's the only way that would ever happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I guess today there's a better way to go about it, because whereas in the past, if you do that, you run off into the mountains, create your one community where all the other bastards can... | ||
| Today, you can have an element where you have your local community. | ||
| And at the same time, you're connected to a wider world in a way that doesn't isolate you, doesn't make you weird and cultish, and cut you off from everything else. | ||
| Because that was always the downside of the small community. | ||
| Daniele Bolelli, party pooper. | ||
| That's what I just heard out of your statement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't need to understand the cult perfectly. | |
| Okay, I was just kidding. | ||
| Let's head out for the mountains. | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| Let's do it, dude. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| On elk with spears and shit. | ||
| Nobody can say a word. | ||
| Start our own families. | ||
| You don't want to separate from society. | ||
| Society is pretty fucking awesome. | ||
| It's just we need to figure out a way to fix society and lessen the amount of shitty people, shitty products, our product of creating human beings. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to make less of those guys in Cleveland that kidnap girls and keep them locked in their basement for 10 years. | ||
| That should be our number one priority, not curing lack of boners. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Not arresting people for fucking selling boner pills at 7-Eleven either, Brian. | ||
| Did you hear about that? | ||
| They need to cut it out. | ||
| They came in and they busted all those and it was exactly as Aubrey had said. | ||
| Aubrey told us that the reason why those dick pills work is because they fill them up with Cialis and Viagra and shit. | ||
| That's exactly what it was. | ||
| It was all Cialis and Viagra. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| And it sucks because it's getting harder to find the good ones now. | ||
| Why don't you just get a prescription for Cialis? | ||
| Because I don't really need it. | ||
| It's just fun to do it. | ||
| But you can get it. | ||
| You don't need it. | ||
| You can get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can get one. | ||
| You say, hey, my dick's not working that good. | ||
| There's a lot of unscrupulous doctors. | ||
| They would write you off a prescription. | ||
| That way you don't have to fuck around with something. | ||
| You don't even know what it is. | ||
| If you take a Viagra, you know that's a Viagra. | ||
| So you're going crazy. | ||
| You're playing Russian roulette with your health with some 7-Eleven fucking stuff that looks like Pop Rocks. | ||
| You're throwing it into your drink and shaking it up. | ||
| This is a real sex enhancer. | ||
| Meanwhile, it's like seven times the normal level of Cialis you're supposed to take, and you're going to break your dick one day. | ||
| You're going to get that priapism. | ||
| You have to drain your dick with a needle. | ||
| What's funny is the one that's the Cialis one, the pills have gotten bigger on some of them, and it says now it lasts up to seven days, and then on the back it says only take one every 24 hours, so I've taken like three. | ||
| The seven-day ones? | ||
| 24 hours? | ||
| No, I take a three in a week, but that's a week's worth of boners. | ||
| So that's like 49 boners in one boner. | ||
| You should not do that. | ||
| You're going to break your dick. | ||
| Your dick's not going to work without him. | ||
| That's what's going to happen. | ||
| And you're going to also, confidence-wise, you're going to rely on that Wonder Dick. | ||
| You're going to go, how am I going to fuck a girl with my regular dick? | ||
| My regular dick just doesn't get that hard. | ||
| But when I'm on Wonder Dick... | ||
| I mean, I masturbate every day, though, so I would know immediately. | ||
| Well, you're on pills every day. | ||
| You're constantly masturbating. | ||
| You're masturbating while you're on Viagra. | ||
| I take breaks. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| You cycle on and off. | ||
| I took one on stage in Sacramento because I had one on me. | ||
| It was called Goldrilla, and it's this gold gorilla on the front. | ||
| And I was showing everybody, and somebody's like, take it! | ||
| And I'm like, all right, I'll take it. | ||
| I open it up and I put it in my mouth and it accidentally breaks in my mouth. | ||
| You know how the capsules... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you tasted it. | |
| It was this boner. | ||
| I couldn't talk because it was so much powder. | ||
| It just exploded in my mouth. | ||
| And it was the most disgusting thing ever. | ||
| But then I had a crazy boner for like... | ||
| Three days. | ||
| Isn't it amazing that they're still killing rhinos to give Chinese dudes boners? | ||
| Do they not know about the boner pills? | ||
| Do they not know about Viagra? | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| What's that horny goat seed all about? | ||
| Do they kill goats? | ||
| Horny goat weed. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think that's a mood enhancer. | ||
| Let's go with that. | ||
| I'm going to read that. | ||
| I've never taken horny goat weed in any mass quantities. | ||
| Maybe I've taken it once or twice. | ||
| As an ingredient in something else? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, they've been knocking them down a lot lately, though. | ||
| There's been at least 10 different companies that have been hit by that thing where they made them pull the pills because there was Viagra in them. | ||
| So, what is it? | ||
| Trademark infringement or something? | ||
| No, they're selling prescription drugs mixed with, like, apples. | ||
| Oh, and they weren't sold as potassium. | ||
| Yeah, and calling it just a supplement. | ||
| It's called Epimedium. | ||
| That's what horny goat weed is, yeah. | ||
| It's called E-P-I-M-E medium. | ||
| And it's also known as barrenwort, bishop's hat, fairy wings, horny goat weed, rowdy lamb, herb, randy beef grass. | ||
| It's all about like bonerific stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you smoke that shit. | ||
| It's a genus of 60 or more species of flowering plants in the family of... | ||
| I don't even know how to say that. | ||
| I'm not the only one. | ||
| This is a hard one. | ||
| Well, let's try this. | ||
| B-E-R-B-E-R-I-D-A-C-E-A-E. Berberidice. | ||
| Large majority who are endemic to southern China. | ||
| What is it supposed to do? | ||
| Aphrodisiac. | ||
| Bam, son. | ||
| Let's hear, Brian, what it does. | ||
| Many species, qualities associated with content of Icarin. | ||
| According to legend, this property was discovered by a Chinese goat herder who noticed the sexual activity in his flock. | ||
| See, same story as the fucking the cordyceps mushrooms. | ||
| It's probably a bullshit story. | ||
| It's probably some marketing shit from the 1400s, both with the mushroom and with this horny goat weed. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Even though the mushroom stuff does fucking work. | ||
| I had mixed it in my mind. | ||
| When you were telling earlier, Brian, about, hey, why are you taking those pills? | ||
| You don't know what's in it. | ||
| I was picturing your early story about the zombie ants, and I was imagining, like, that mushroom going into the pill that Brian takes, and this dick exploding. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it could be. | ||
| Sorry, by the way. | ||
| That could be going on inside of his little body. | ||
| He dies, and his dick becomes like a fireworks display. | ||
| A lot of these supplements that you take, these butter pills, are actually ants. | ||
| Ants. | ||
| Tons of African, I think it's African black ants. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, we've talked about this before on the podcast. | ||
| The boner pills? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them, because if you just type in boner pill ant, you'll have a bunch of stuff. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| We did talk about that, but I think we got sidetracked and never came to a rational conclusion. | ||
| Yeah, because- I think it was one of those. | ||
| One of the pills, actually, that was pulled by whatever the FDA last week was even called something like boner ants or something like that. | ||
| This is, I'll give you the rundown scientifically if anybody gives a shit. | ||
| It actually apparently does have a similar effect to nitric oxide supplements, which also give you boners, which is also one of the reasons why Viagra is a performance enhancing supplement. | ||
| A lot of athletes, I think it's banned from the Olympics. | ||
| I think you can't use Viagra anymore. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it gives you a boost, an athletic boost. | ||
| I think it's an endurance boost. | ||
| The same thing it does when it gives your dick this crazy fucking wonder dick. | ||
| It also does that for the rest of your body. | ||
| It increases blood flow or something. | ||
| They didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, you're recycling your blood in more parts of your body. | ||
| Something around what he said, but with some science that none of us really know. | ||
| You're getting that brain juice, putting it all aside. | ||
| So this stuff, like Sildenafil. | ||
| So that's Viagra. | ||
| Viagra is Sildenafil. | ||
| I'm probably butchering it. | ||
| But it's S-I-L-D-E-N-A-F-I-L. And that's, let's call that Viagra. | ||
| This stuff that it produces called Icarin, I-C-A-R-I-I-N, the active compound in Epidemium inhibits, Epimedium rather, inhibits the activity of PDE5. And so what this PDE5 shit is, it works the same way. | ||
| With horny goat weed inhibiting it as it does with Viagra. | ||
| So it probably would work, but it probably wouldn't work as good because I think that Viagra shit is like nuclear. | ||
| I think they've got it down. | ||
| This is like, I think my dick's got a little harder. | ||
| But you take a Viagra and your dick just slam! | ||
| Just fucking gets like body slammed against your zipper. | ||
| It's like, where are we partying tonight?! | ||
| Your dick is just really rowdy and obnoxious and unrealistic. | ||
| You can feel your heartbeat on the very bottom of it. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Your heartbeat on the bottom of your dick. | ||
| Yeah, like that vein that goes down the bottom. | ||
| Yeah, and don't measure your heart rate then, because that's not your resting heart rate. | ||
| You're not resting right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Your dick is going crazy. | ||
| Your dick's turning into a zombie. | ||
| Yeah, even old dudes that are barely alive, they can take a couple of Viagras and... | ||
| Stick a finger up their ass and bam! | ||
| It is so fun going to massage parlors on Viagra because you can't stop it! | ||
| You're just like, what is going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You do it on purpose. | |
| You're just pretending you're the super freak. | ||
| Like, baby, I'm just a super freak. | ||
| I don't even know what's up. | ||
| I'm trying not to think about sex, but just have you in the room while I'm on 7,000 milligrams of venafinol, sildafinol, or whatever the fuck this stuff is called. | ||
| I'm starting to think that in the 70s I would have a raincoat, you know? | ||
| Oh, you probably would. | ||
| Well, if you didn't have a podcast, you'd have a raincoat. | ||
| How about that, you fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've just turned into this now. | |
| Well, the problem is it's more fun than not doing it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's why you're liking it. | ||
| You're liking doing it. | ||
| People are like, why would he like to have hard-ons and go to massage parlors and get jerked off? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Why wouldn't he? | ||
| I didn't say anything about jerking off. | ||
| I added that in for comic relief. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I'm just displaying my boner for this poor girl. | ||
| I only added that in to lighten up the moment so it doesn't seem as much like sexual assault. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This one girl had a tan line from the rope the other day. | ||
| From a rope? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| What rope? | ||
| When she was carried into this country, I think. | ||
| Oh, you son of a bitch. | ||
| In San Francisco, those are fresh. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| They are so fresh. | ||
| I was like, either she had a watch and she went tanning and she took off her watch, or that's from rope. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't even want to talk about it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| It's a scary subject. | ||
| Well, that website that I always talk about, I feel like I shouldn't talk about it anymore. | ||
| You shouldn't talk about it. | ||
| It's going to get taken away. | ||
| It's going to get taken away and you're going to get monitored by the government because there's a boner police out there and they don't like people getting their boners taken care of in illegal manners. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| That's some of the lamest ways to spend tax dollars of all time. | ||
| Stopping dudes from getting jerked off at handy massage parlors. | ||
| You know what really sucks? | ||
| They have undercover sting operations. | ||
| Well, I went in there at 3 p.m. | ||
| with my boner. | ||
| I took boner pills just to be sure. | ||
| I told her I won a full service. | ||
| She said hard. | ||
| I tapped her leg twice. | ||
| She grabbed my cock and I threw her on the ground. | ||
| I think there's two things I wouldn't mind getting arrested for. | ||
| One is having weed on me or selling or smoking weed, you know, or prostitution. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Like, both of those, who cares? | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Oh, you like the fuck and you like weed? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Well, officer, when I threw her to the ground to make the arrest, I came all over her face. | ||
| Completely coincidentally. | ||
| What can I say? | ||
| I'm a red-blooded American man. | ||
| The fact that prostitution is still illegal in 49 and a half states in the US is fucking insane. | ||
| It seems like a mistake. | ||
| It seems like a mistake to tell people that they can fuck people as much as they like, but they can't get paid for it. | ||
| But you can marry a guy that you don't really love, and you can fuck him, and then you can divorce him and make money off of it. | ||
| And then they'll write songs about you. | ||
| And it's okay. | ||
| You're allowed to be a gold digger, but you can't be a whore. | ||
| That is fucking fascinating. | ||
| And you're not even allowed to be a gold digger. | ||
| Because women are like, look at that bitch. | ||
| You know she doesn't even love him. | ||
| He's fucking old as shit. | ||
| Bitch, she is 40 years younger than him. | ||
| What the fuck do they have in common? | ||
| It's prostitution! | ||
| What does it have in common? | ||
| She came from Thailand. | ||
| He's got a billion dollars. | ||
| Shut your hole. | ||
| You know exactly what it is. | ||
| Let it happen. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, consenting adults. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| How does it affect you, you fuck? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| To me, it's like, you're not hurting anybody else. | ||
| No. | ||
| As long as there's no, nobody's forced, there's no underage shit, there's none of that. | ||
| As long as it's consenting adults, back the fuck off. | ||
| Let people live how they want. | ||
| Yeah, who cares? | ||
| And there's, you know, there's an argument that... | ||
| There's nothing wrong with sex, so why should there be anything wrong with paying for sex? | ||
| And the reason why it seems like such a terrible thing to us now is that It's frowned upon. | ||
| It's looked down upon. | ||
| But if you look at what it actually is, it's just sex. | ||
| It's weird to massage people, right? | ||
| You got to pay someone to massage you. | ||
| So you go to a place where they guarantee everybody wants to fuck, okay? | ||
| Guys want to fuck. | ||
| Girls want to fuck. | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| But nobody wants to give you a fucking massage. | ||
| They do not want to give you a goddamn massage. | ||
| Girls don't want to give you a massage. | ||
| They'll do it for a little while. | ||
| They'll do it if they love you. | ||
| I'll give a massage to someone I love, but the reality is I don't want to do it. | ||
| Shit's a lot of work. | ||
| But sex is not a lot of work, but yet you can pay for the massage and you can't pay for sex. | ||
| That is purely Puritan values because it is essentially the same thing. | ||
| 90% of us will never get paid to massage someone and 90% of us will never get paid to have sex with someone. | ||
| Those numbers, I fucking made up. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| They sound good. | ||
| I'm doing the math here. | ||
| Help me. | ||
| But the reality is, they're the same goddamn thing. | ||
| It's the same goddamn thing. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I agree it should be your choice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you're fucking skeeved out by feet and you go to massage people but you don't mind giving head, that's you. | ||
| That's you, man. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| And to me, it's more honest than a lot of people... | ||
| Than fleshlights? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| We hacked those for two fucking years. | ||
| It's way more honest to pay a person to do it. | ||
| And lying and hooking up just really because you want to fuck somebody. | ||
| Although fleshlights are very good. | ||
| No, I'm all for that. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, people have been emailing me 1,700 times saying, Tell Joe to get you a flashlight. | ||
| He still has some in his closet, I'm sure. | ||
| Probably, preferably. | ||
| Did he give you a flashlight? | ||
| You wanted one? | ||
| Well, you should have emailed me before I got here. | ||
| I still have a deal in the closet. | ||
| I ate them. | ||
| I fed them to my chickens. | ||
| Cream out and grip. | ||
| No, but the thing is like the stuff you're saying about how people perceive sex is really not okay in some way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a Puritan vibe. | ||
| Mostly American though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, that's where my weird fobish thing come in. | ||
| Because when I came to the US and I was trying to ask, you know, you're learning new language, you're picking up new words. | ||
| And so I heard the word slut. | ||
| I'm like, slut? | ||
| What the fuck does it mean? | ||
| It's like, well, a woman who's kind of indiscriminately having sex left and right, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And I was like, well, if sex is a good thing, Dennis Lutz, somebody who freely gives sex away indiscriminately left and right, is kind of like a humanitarian, like a philanthropist, some sort of sexual Mother Teresa. | ||
| That's a beautiful thing, right? | ||
| No, it's really, really bad. | ||
| Wait, why? | ||
| Let me try again. | ||
| That shit doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| Wasn't there a woman in Italy that made it to the parliament that was a porn star? | ||
| Cicciolina, yes, of course. | ||
| What a great name for a dirty bitch. | ||
| Cicciolina. | ||
| That's Italy for you, right? | ||
| What a good kid. | ||
| Porn star. | ||
| Actually, it happened multiple times. | ||
| She was the first, and then a few others done the same thing, and they all got elected. | ||
| In Italy, it's like, I'm going to vote for this annoying old guy or this annoying old guy. | ||
| Hey, there's the porn star. | ||
| No-brainer! | ||
| Obviously we worked for her. | ||
| Hilariously. | ||
| The place up north with the tanline girl, I think it was a GFE place, which is the girlfriend experiment or experience. | ||
| And it sucked because when she was done, like she didn't want to massage me at all. | ||
| She just was kind of just like crawling on me, like tapping me. | ||
| It was like bullshit. | ||
| But then at the end of it, she just wanted to lay down next to me. | ||
| So we were both like laying down. | ||
| And then she fell asleep and it was so sad. | ||
| I'm like, alright, I'm just going to stay here for a bit, I guess. | ||
| She's sleeping. | ||
| What's going to happen? | ||
| And then a door slams. | ||
| I don't know if somebody else was coming in or if it was the madam going, what the fuck? | ||
| And she gets up real quick and goes, oh, thank you. | ||
| I'll be right back with tea. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god, this poor girl just fell asleep on me. | ||
| That's so sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| It's the saddest thing in the world. | ||
| She probably blacked out from shame. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to deal with this Viagra-induced direction. | ||
| It ranges three and a half hours. | ||
| Yeah, it's probably just shock. | ||
| Like when you corner a little mouse, scream at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It just freezes. | |
| It's like a fainting goat. | ||
| Horny goat weed. | ||
| It's a fainting horny goat weed. | ||
| A fainting horny goat. | ||
| It's a weird aspect that we have this thing. | ||
| We're weirded out about sex. | ||
| But that's how this country got started. | ||
| It got started by Puritans. | ||
| People forget that. | ||
| The echoes of the retards that fucking founded this place, they're still here. | ||
| They were religious fanatics. | ||
| You heard about this stuff about the Puritans coming here for religious freedom. | ||
| It's total bullshit. | ||
| They didn't come here for religious freedom. | ||
| They came here for the freedom not to be persecuted. | ||
| It's a whole different game. | ||
| It doesn't mean we don't want to persecute somebody else. | ||
| We just don't want to be persecuted. | ||
| It's not religious freedom. | ||
| They support their own freedom. | ||
| I don't like my place in the game. | ||
| I have nothing against the game itself as long as I get to be on top. | ||
| And the Puritans are actually fucking Native Americans, piling them up and stacking them and whacking them. | ||
| And those are the guys who consider the church in England as crazy liberals. | ||
| They are the Puritans who are the hardcore fundamentalists of their day, much like fundamentalists today. | ||
| Back then there was no Hollywood, so they were pissed about the Theatre of London. | ||
| They're like, there's all this sex and spectacle and this and that. | ||
| Exactly the same arguments that you hear today about fundamentalist entertainment industry. | ||
| Exactly the same thing as in the 15-1600s you would hear with the Puritans. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| So what happened? | ||
| They came over first? | ||
| Or they were of the first to come over here? | ||
| Yeah, no, they were the... | ||
| Well, no, you're right, because at first they had this other settlement in Jamestown in Virginia, and then like 13 years later, not that long later, they had one, Plymouth Rock, the famous one, which is the Puritans and all of that. | ||
| And these were guys that England was more than happy to get rid of, because it's like... | ||
| They are weird, they are crazy, they are annoying, they are too much, so please go, yeah, go settle the new world. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| These guys were happy to leave because they felt that they could start their own society where Puritan values would rule, rather than having to deal with more mellow visions of Christianity. | ||
| How much different would America have turned out if people landed on the west coast instead of the east coast? | ||
| How much different would America have turned out if England was on the other side of the world and then they came over and landed in LA and were like, oh shit. | ||
| Oh, shit, bitches. | ||
| We ain't never going back. | ||
| There's no winter. | ||
| Winter doesn't happen. | ||
| Like, they landed in fucking Massachusetts, man. | ||
| That's a... | ||
| That is... | ||
| With no heat? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No heat. | ||
| No cars. | ||
| You have a few animals to... | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| You gonna try to collect food in the four months that everything's not frozen? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's funny, because when they first came, they usually didn't really know how to make a living here, so they would fuck things up, and within a year or two, they would start eating each other in these cool cannibalistic stories. | ||
| And it's like, that's some weird sick shit that was going on. | ||
| Well, there's nothing else they could do. | ||
| It was pure survival. | ||
| Yep, yep, yep. | ||
| That happened in England too, right? | ||
| Wasn't there, they reconstructed a girl that they had eaten, and she was 14 years old? | ||
| That was here, that was in James Town, the very first British colony in the Americas to stay. | ||
| And she was 14? | ||
| Yeah, because they pissed off the Indians, so they are not going to have much help from them. | ||
| They don't know how to make a living throughout the year in a new harsh environment, so soon enough you start eating your friends. | ||
| That's always a good idea. | ||
| It's fucking amazing that we've made it this far. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| As a person who knows as much about history as you do, it must be really shocking when you know that this shit was just a couple of years away. | ||
| That to me is what's mind-blowing, is the stuff that has been considered normal throughout much of human history. | ||
| It blows your mind to think like probably 75% of people were totally cool with these ideas that today they would land you straight in like a psychiatric hospital. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back then, totally normal. | ||
| And again, it boils down to the same thing. | ||
| It's people too lazy to question what they are taught and just going with the program and just not really... | ||
| Why am I burning people at the stake because they believe a different idea? | ||
| Well, it's what my grandpa did and she's cool, so I must... | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| Not really stopping to think, is this really healthy? | ||
| Is this a good idea? | ||
| Is this how I want to live? | ||
| How did people find out about the pilgrims, whether or not they were doing good enough that people decided, let's join these crazy bitches? | ||
| How did all that happen? | ||
| They did go back and forth. | ||
| And they were telling how great it was? | ||
| We're eating each other. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| Some people also put money as an investment in this. | ||
| A lot of these weren't just random individuals coming in. | ||
| They were sponsored by corporations as an idea, and it was an investment. | ||
| So these guys had... | ||
| Economically interested in keeping the thing going. | ||
| And there are plenty of people who had a shitty life in England. | ||
| So even going to the crazy wild place across the world was better than what they knew back in England. | ||
| And so they were willing to take chances. | ||
| I mean, one of the things that people don't know a lot of the time or don't emphasize enough is the idea that a huge chunk of people who came here were basically slaves, white people, you know, British. | ||
| They were indentured servants, which technically meant you only serve for seven years, but most of them were worked so hard by their owners that they killed them before the seven years were up. | ||
| So really, if you are an indentured servant, you're pretty much fucked because you're going to be in conditions that are semi-slavery. | ||
| They are not going to survive to see the day when you are freed. | ||
| So it doesn't really matter whether in theory it only lasts so long because you're never going to live that time. | ||
| So a lot of these guys would run off the second they arrive here. | ||
| They would try to show their best face when they show up at an Indian encampment saying, hey man, I'm a nice guy. | ||
| Those guys are freak. | ||
| Can you please take me in? | ||
| And a bunch of tribes would take them in. | ||
| And so you would have these communities where sometimes you would have a lot of British people who escaped the settlement to go live with Indians because otherwise they would get work to that back in the settlements. | ||
| And it's a trippy story. | ||
| You know, the colonies would pass these laws preventing anybody from leaving the settlements and going to live with Indians because otherwise your labor force just left and now you have to work on your own. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How many white dudes went dancing with wolves style? | ||
| Quite a bit. | ||
| There's a really cool story. | ||
| I forget the guy's name right now, but there was back at the very beginning of the Puritan days, there was this one community of Sort of crazy, unconventional guys that left the main Puritan towns and started their own thing with a bunch of local Indians. | ||
| They basically had an interracial community where they would party a lot, they would drink, have their dances. | ||
| Something like sort of hippie heaven, except that because it was a little too hippie heaven, these guys didn't make plans for the Puritan wanting to kick their ass because their community was actually growing at a faster rate than the Puritans. | ||
| More people wanted to live there. | ||
| But the Puritan had military muscle, and so they went to kick their ass and squash them. | ||
| Those motherfucking Puritans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And that's us. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| If those hippies had planned... | ||
| Yeah, fuck. | ||
| I mean, I'm all for having fun, but put two hours a day into planning that maybe you want to know what to do when people start shooting at you. | ||
| These crazy religious fucks that are dressed up like Johnny Cash and live right down the road. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Those guys are kooks. | ||
| You don't know they're kooks? | ||
| They're all dressed the same. | ||
| Okay, listen. | ||
| We know they're kooks. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| But listen, they spend a lot of time praying that we need to spend that exact amount of time making arrows. | ||
| Yep, that's the idea. | ||
| And instead the choice was happy, stupid hippies who don't make plans or crazy religious fundamentalists who are well armed and know how to use their guns. | ||
| Not exactly the greatest alternatives, but... | ||
| I mean, one is nicer than the other, but it doesn't make any... | ||
| You know, they can't live in reality because they don't make plans. | ||
| They don't set things up for when shit goes wrong. | ||
| And so the other guys who are way worse win because they are more disciplined. | ||
| Those motherfuckers. | ||
| So they absorb them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Some of them, they send them back. | ||
| You know, some of them were killed. | ||
| Some of them were reabsorbed under closed watch. | ||
| You know, a bunch of options there, but... | ||
| One of the weirdest things about history for me as I get older is realizing how short a period of time that was ago where things were so bananas. | ||
| 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. | ||
| 1492? | ||
| That ain't shit! | ||
| That's hard to believe. | ||
| There was no buildings here just that long ago. | ||
| Especially when you look at England and the shit that's up in London. | ||
| You can go visit things in London that are a thousand years old. | ||
| America itself is only 200 fucking years old. | ||
| They've only been around. | ||
| I mean, someone landed in the Bahamas a little over 400 years ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And in that sense, yeah, living in Europe is a trip because you go down the street to meet your friend and you are next to a building that's like, Yes! | ||
| It's fucked! | ||
| It's really nuts to think that those people just lived in that one spot forever. | ||
| You know, that's one of the really cool things, this Dan Carlin thing on the history of the Mongols, is realizing how much these guys affected Asia and how much they would have affected Europe and they affected Russia. | ||
| Yeah, like, Europe got really lucky there. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| Well, depending on point of view, because, yeah, what they had wasn't exactly right. | ||
| Yeah, what they had was horrible, but they dodged a crazy bullet with those motherfuckers. | ||
| Sure did. | ||
| And then, one of the craziest things that Dan Carlin was talking about was when they took over Baghdad and killed everybody, that it literally hasn't ever recovered. | ||
| No, they say it was like... | ||
| 600 years before the population was at the same level as before. | ||
| They wiped that. | ||
| I mean, the Mongols didn't fuck around. | ||
| They killed everyone. | ||
| They really were Genocide 101. Yeah, those guys. | ||
| And they played a terror card. | ||
| They ruined progress. | ||
| They ruined cultures. | ||
| Everything they learned, see ya, light it on fire. | ||
| They didn't want to take it with them. | ||
| If it's not useful in a fell tent or running around with my horses, then what the fuck do I care? | ||
| That's the nuttiest thing is that they never really... | ||
| They captured all these cities, but they were nomads. | ||
| They didn't have a country. | ||
| They just had this gigantic, huge mass of people making their way across the world, killing everybody. | ||
| My favorite on that one is when they do enter Baghdad and the whole story. | ||
| There was this thing of this one guy who was a local governor who had killed the Mongol traders early on. | ||
| So the Mongols were at peace. | ||
| They sent an ambassador. | ||
| This guy chopped off the head of the ambassadors, too, saying they are spies. | ||
| He banked on the fact that there was a big desert separating him from the Mongols so they wouldn't be able to invade. | ||
| He didn't make his calculations right, because the Mongols go through the desert, they show up at his door, and after wiping out everyone else, they grabbed this guy and said, you are a greedy motherfuckers. | ||
| Because of that, you want gold, we'll give you all the gold you want. | ||
| They melt a bunch of gold and pour molten gold down his throat to kill him. | ||
| Those guys... | ||
| It poured into his eyes and his ears as well. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Those guys are not playing around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they probably chopped its head open and get that gold back. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like, okay, now, sorry, now we need it back, if you don't mind. | ||
| It's just amazing that that, again, 1200 AD. 1200? | ||
| That's not that long ago. | ||
| None of this is that long ago. | ||
| And that was only a couple hundred years before Martin Luther. | ||
| And that's just a few hundred years before people came to America. | ||
| And that's a few hundred years before slavery was abolished. | ||
| All of it is so recent. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Right here in California, where we stand, back in the 1850s, More than half of the American Indian population, I think like 80%, was wiped out, not because of diseases, not because of stuff, but what they had in a lot of California towns were the Indian Hunts, | ||
| which was on the local newspaper they would publish the scene that if you You know, you're broke, you have no money, go kill some Indians, scalp them, and if you come back into town, the local government will pay you a certain amount for the scalp of an adult male, a little bit less for the scalp of an adult female, and a little bit less for the scalp of a child. | ||
| Because it's good for the health of the community to wipe out Indians. | ||
| 1850s. | ||
| Not a million years ago, right? | ||
| You know, under our feet. | ||
| That's a trip. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I always wondered what that whole scalping thing, where that came from. | ||
| I thought it was the Indians that did the scalping. | ||
| You know, actually, they do stuff like that in a bunch of places around the world, because it got tiresome to just carry around people's heads to prove that you killed them, so... | ||
| It's like, do I really have to carry this big fucking thing? | ||
| Can you imagine, like, chopping off the head of somebody like T-Tortis, big giant head? | ||
| It's like, really? | ||
| I have to carry it around to prove that I killed it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Can I just scalp him and be done with it? | |
| So people around the world did it in a bunch of places. | ||
| Well, then, you know, you could scalp two butt cheeks and say, oh, I killed a couple of bald dudes, too. | ||
| I mean, you get three for the price of one if you were unscrupulous. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| This motherfucker's always scalping bald Indian. | ||
| That's one of the beautiful things about the Native Americans. | ||
| They actually go bald. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That wasn't one of their genetics. | ||
| That genetic sort of only got introduced to them after we came around. | ||
|
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I tell you, these Indians sure do smell, though. | |
| It's a butt. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| Butt cheeks don't smell that bad, do they? | ||
| Back then they did. | ||
| Back then, the whole package, right? | ||
| Everything below the belt was just a mess. | ||
| They probably never really painted their face. | ||
| It was just from butts. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense, son. | ||
| On the East Coast, they had this badass scene that they would do where a lot of Indian tribes there, they would shave every other part of their head, but they would leave this really long strand of hair in the middle. | ||
| That was like the scalp knot. | ||
| You leave it out there as a challenge to other warriors of saying, hey, here is my scalp. | ||
| You want to take it? | ||
| Come take it. | ||
| It makes it even easier for you to grasp it and pull it out. | ||
| So it was a fuck you kind of thing. | ||
| It's like, I'll leave it on. | ||
| You leave yours on. | ||
| Let's see who gets to take home who's first. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's just begging for the gun to be invented. | ||
| You silly bitches out there shooting pointed rocks at each other. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| Grabbing each other's hair, cutting each other's heads off. | ||
| Did you see that guy on that video the other day that was walking across, I think, to a waterfall or something? | ||
| And he was doing the balancing thing, and he fell, and he held on, and then he was trying to... | ||
| Climb across it, and he had a long ponytail, and his ponytail got stuck in it, and he let go, and he scalped himself and fell and died. | ||
| Jesus, son, he died from that? | ||
| Yep, because he fell. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And his ponytail stayed on the line. | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| That's when you know. | ||
| Yep, that can't be good. | ||
| That's a shit choice in hair wear. | ||
| Either that or God hates you. | ||
| Yeah, you fucked up, son. | ||
| You definitely fucked up. | ||
| There was a woman in France recently who died. | ||
| She fell like 900 feet to her death off a cliff. | ||
| And by the time they got to her, the vultures had already eaten her. | ||
| There was nothing left but bones. | ||
| That is also how you know you fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| First of all, if you're in a place where they're not killing the vultures, everybody's like, well, we need these vultures. | ||
| Well, you know what the problem is now? | ||
| They have laws in this part of Europe where you have to kill livestock when they die. | ||
| You have to burn them. | ||
| So because of that, the vultures don't get to naturally prey off the livestock. | ||
| So vultures are actually going down and attacking live things because they're starving to death because the government cleans up the dead animals and burns them. | ||
| It doesn't allow the vultures to eat them. | ||
| So now you have vultures that are carrying away dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| And they're going after pets. | ||
| They're getting livestock and shit. | ||
| Vultures are scary. | ||
| Vultures are scary. | ||
| That's, you know, as much as, oh, sweet, cool nature. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| To a point. | ||
| Nature's nice and cool as long as you're in your car. | ||
| Or you're in your house, or you have a gun, or there's slow people behind you and in front of you that will get eaten first. | ||
| I had a dream last night that a friend of mine had an animal snuck into his house and we couldn't get it out. | ||
| It wasn't a big animal, it was like a raccoon or something, but it was terrifying in his dream. | ||
| The raccoon was behind the TV and we're trying to chase it out with sticks and it's like, fuck shit! | ||
| Think about how little a goddamn raccoon is. | ||
| I was terrified of this fucker. | ||
| Get him out of your house, man! | ||
| We're trying to stick a fucking broomstick back there to get rid of this raccoon. | ||
| And in my dream, it was horrific. | ||
| Because I was thinking, if this raccoon just goes for it and just jumps on my face, I am fucked. | ||
| My face is made out of toilet paper. | ||
| It's just soft, mushy shit. | ||
| Your face is barely more durable than a flashlight. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Raccoons and skunk both scare me because in my backyard, somehow they We get in there once in a while and have a fenced-in yard. | ||
| Do you leave cat food out there? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| But somehow they just do it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And I'll just be sitting outside, you know, whatever, on the porch, and out of nowhere I'll just see this skunk or a raccoon running towards me because it doesn't realize that I'm sitting there. | ||
| And I'll be like, hey, get away from here! | ||
| And it just stops. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Hopefully it just turns around, walks away, nothing happens. | ||
| Most of the time, they won't engage you unless they're rabid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they will engage you if they're rabid. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You know, there's that too. | ||
| It's worse. | ||
| You're really fucked if you get bitten. | ||
| Because if you get rabies, you get bit by someone with rabies, you gotta get like 10 gigantic needles in your ass. | ||
|
unidentified
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I think it's more sad. | |
| And their stomach, right? | ||
| Doesn't it go right into your stomach? | ||
| Oh, fucking Christ. | ||
| And they're huge needles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's apparently like really bad to get rabies. | ||
| I got bit by a dog once, and they were telling me, the doctor was like, yeah, we're not going to give you a shit. | ||
| Because take your chances. | ||
| It's better than taking a rabid shot. | ||
| You don't want to have a rabid shot. | ||
| Unless you're really convinced that you have rabid shot, you don't want to take it. | ||
| Because it hurts beyond belief. | ||
| Yeah, I guess there's a lot of bats here in Los Angeles that are being found with rabies. | ||
| Oh, fucking Christ! | ||
| Rabbit bats! | ||
| I'm wearing a Bat Country t-shirt, son. | ||
| Hey, dude who gave me this in New Jersey. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Some fellow Hunter S. Thompson fan. | ||
| Bat Country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a great story about these guys from Harvard. | ||
| Who went to Africa to study these bats that migrate out of this cave. | ||
| And they sat in the front of the cave and every night at a certain time when it became dusk, these bats would fly out en masse. | ||
| There's this massive number of bats. | ||
| This is an enormous cave. | ||
| And there would be like millions and millions of bats. | ||
| Well, these guys, they sat down in front of this to film it and record things, whatever the fuck they're going to do scientifically. | ||
| And what they didn't anticipate is the assault of bat shit that hit them. | ||
| As they came out of this cage, they just shit all at once. | ||
| So they were literally in the firing path of a wave of shit a hundred miles high. | ||
| Millions of bats shitting on their face. | ||
| So they get back to America and they're horribly ill. | ||
| They're bleeding from their eyes. | ||
| They're deadly sick and they die. | ||
| They both died. | ||
| They both died. | ||
| It's insanely toxic. | ||
| They just got toxic levels of nitrogen and batshit and it goes in your eyes and it's in your face and your skin. | ||
| It's going through your fucking skin. | ||
| It's toxic shit. | ||
| Talk about Fuck, man. | ||
| Talk about a story. | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| A bunch of a million bats took a shit on him, and that's why he died. | ||
| Yeah, and he must have realized somewhere in the middle of that shitstorm that probably lasted an hour. | ||
| It was probably an hour of bats coming. | ||
| This is an insanely big cave, apparently, and there's just millions of bats there. | ||
| Bat guano is... | ||
| I know they use it for shit. | ||
| I think they use it for fertilizer and stuff. | ||
| Growing weed is big. | ||
| Is it big for growing weed? | ||
| Powerful Daniele Bolelli. | ||
| He's got the knowledge. | ||
| That story that we talked about a couple of weeks ago about the couple that used to be in the CIA and they had retired and were making plants in their basement. | ||
| They were growing tomatoes and stuff like that. | ||
| And the fucking DEA kicks down their door, guns blazing, rifles in their face, and finds their tomatoes in the basement. | ||
| Boy. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Boy, is that a silly goddamn story. | ||
| What turns out, these people, the reason why the CIA did this, or the DEA did this, is they followed their car. | ||
| Their car had been parked at a hydroponic store. | ||
| And they took a photo of the car, the license plate. | ||
| They ran the plates. | ||
| And that's how they find where the houses are, where people are growing. | ||
| That's this genius fucking group of ass fucks called the DEA that think that everyone growing anything indoors. | ||
| My sister's ex-husband used to grow tomatoes and shit because they lived in Boston. | ||
| They had a full setup in the basement. | ||
| They didn't even smoke weed. | ||
| They had a full setup. | ||
| But that guy would be under suspicion. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| They're allowed to pass by your fucking house. | ||
| This is how stupid this situation is. | ||
| All they're doing is growing plants, by the way, I might add. | ||
| They're not making meth, okay? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're allowed to go by the places where they teach you how to grow plants, take pictures of your fucking license plate, and then run them on the suspicion of you doing drugs. | ||
| Find out where the fuck you live, stake out your house. | ||
| Yep, for sure they're growing plants. | ||
| We're going in, boys! | ||
| Go in guns blazing with dogs and shoot your dog if you've got one. | ||
| They shoot your fucking dog almost every time they go into these people's houses. | ||
| They shoot puppies. | ||
| They'll shoot collies. | ||
| They don't care if your dog's a threat. | ||
| They shoot dogs. | ||
| And then they find out you're making tomatoes. | ||
| I mean, that's the dumbest shit. | ||
| That's why, to me, it pisses me off when I hear people who are all like, I love freedom, but I'm pro-drug war, I'm against legal prostitution, I'm against... | ||
| It's like, you're not pro-freedom, motherfucker. | ||
| You're only pro the freedom of the stuff you like. | ||
| That's just what it is. | ||
| Well, Obama said recently, he had a speech in Mexico. | ||
| He said that he didn't think that making marijuana legal was a good idea. | ||
| It's the most hilarious thing ever. | ||
| The idea that making anything that A, benefits people, P, people want to do, and C, there's no victims. | ||
| And then you're talking specifically with the people who would, in a logical scenario, benefit from it being legal. | ||
| The reason why all this money is being made by drug cartels is because drugs are illegal. | ||
| If drugs were legal, these people wouldn't be making that money. | ||
| Out of business. | ||
| I mean, that alone is impossible for some people to grasp. | ||
| I mean, even when people are against it philosophically because they are control freaks who want some morality in force according to their standards of morality and everyone else, even those guys still look at the evidence. | ||
| Is prohibition working in terms of keeping the rates of addiction or use low? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| So what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| It's like taking a bunch of money, putting it in the toilet and flushing because if you're not affecting demand or supply, Why the fuck are you doing it? | ||
| Yeah, the best example that we have about whether or not it's good to legalize drugs is Portugal. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| And they have lowered their rates of addiction, lowered their rates of crime. | ||
| It's real simple, folks. | ||
| People don't like being told what to do. | ||
| And they're going to do whatever the fuck they want to do. | ||
| But if you tell them what to do, then they're going to rebel. | ||
| And that's just what they do. | ||
| And when people rebel, sometimes they're not even doing what they want to do. | ||
| They're just doing what you don't want them to do. | ||
| So that seems like the thing to do because they don't like you fucking controlling them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| When I moved here from Italy, I didn't know about the age 21 thing about drinking. | ||
| I thought you were going to say about banging chicks. | ||
| No, there's... | ||
| Like, Italy, I don't even think it has... | ||
| Maybe it doesn't have an age limit. | ||
| If it does, nobody enforce it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you are eight years old, you go to the store to buy for your mom a bottle of wine, nobody asks anything, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But because it's the kind of shit that your grandparents have for lunch, it's not glamorous. | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| Cool, I got booze. | ||
| I'm going to start downing it like crazy. | ||
| When I saw here people who would start drinking as teenagers as a prohibited exciting thing, they would down alcohol like crazy, throw up all over themselves. | ||
| I'm like, ew, that's fucking disgusting. | ||
| Why would you do that to yourself? | ||
| You learn how to drink a little bit at a time. | ||
| And to me, it's like you learn how to drink as a kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You learn how to drink with your grandparents, where it's like if you have a sip, you feel happy and stuff. | ||
| If you have more than a sip, you get a headache. | ||
| And one day you do, and you're like, oh, fuck, you're right, I got a headache. | ||
| It's kind of weird that this is the most successful society ever, because it really is, right? | ||
| If you had to look at it as far as what's been done by this society, the American society. | ||
| Maybe that's the only way you can really get shit done. | ||
| Maybe you have to have this fucking weird buttoned down, repressed, in order to work the kind of hours that people are willing to work. | ||
| Whereas in Italy, they take like, what, two hours a day off just to take a shit? | ||
| Yeah, nobody does anything. | ||
| I have a shit break. | ||
| Italy is an awesome place to retire in, but to get anything done, yeah, good luck. | ||
| Well, I know Marvelous Marvin Hagler did it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Marvin Hagler, when he retired from being the fucking man, was one of the best boxers ever, went to Italy and just said, fuck it, I'm just chilling here forever. | ||
| He's going to become an Italian movie star. | ||
| He lives in my town. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
| He's a friend of mine. | ||
| He runs into him at the gym all the time. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He's the weirdest case ever for a boxer because he still has his wits. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And man, what a good boxer he was. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| He was one of the all-time greats. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But he's still like, he's lucid when he talks. | ||
| And he lost to Sugar Ray Leonard and he said, that's it. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he really meant it. | ||
| He's the only guy that I can ever recall. | ||
| Everybody out, like Sugar Ray Leonard broke everybody's heart, came back. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Won a couple fights and then lost a couple fights very badly. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| The Terry Norris fight, classic example, that was a brutal beatdown. | ||
| Terry Norris beat the shit out of him. | ||
| That was scary. | ||
| The fight with Hector Camacho, when Hector Camacho stopped him, it was like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| He was, at the end, he broke everybody's heart, just like everybody else. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, Hagler was smart, man. | ||
| He made the call. | ||
| He didn't really take that much abuse. | ||
| Actually, he actually took more abuse in some of the fights he won. | ||
| Like, there was the fight with Mugabe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where they beat the shit out of each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or even the one with Tommy Ernst. | ||
| That was, like, the most intense round I've ever seen in combat sports. | ||
| Yeah, you want to watch a great fight. | ||
| First round. | ||
| Hagler-Hearns. | ||
| On YouTube, somebody put it up on an Hendrix soundtrack. | ||
| They have, like, Voodoo Child's Light Return going on the Marvin Hagler highlight. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Coolest thing ever. | ||
| Yeah, I tweeted that a while back. | ||
| That's an amazing highlight. | ||
| He was a beast, man. | ||
| When I was a kid, he was a big inspiration for me. | ||
| I was living in Boston. | ||
| Because I remember he was supposed to fight Mustafa Hamshou. | ||
| And they had some TV special that was following him training. | ||
| And he would go to the Cape in the wintertime. | ||
| Where there's nobody in the Cape. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| Freezing. | ||
| You know, many, many degrees below zero. | ||
| Wind chill factor. | ||
| Wind coming off the water. | ||
| Ripping your fucking skin apart. | ||
| And he's out there running, screaming war. | ||
| He would just scream war as he was running up sand dunes and shit. | ||
| If you're his opponent, you just look at the video and you're like, yeah, no, thanks. | ||
| Yeah, he beat the fuck out of some people, man. | ||
| Marvin Hagel was a beast. | ||
| If you look at the Mugabe fight, he's a great example of that. | ||
| You couldn't hurt him. | ||
| He had a chin like nobody. | ||
| They did this weird thing with him where they... | ||
| They scanned his head, and they found out that his mandible muscles, the muscles on the sides of his head, were, like, much larger than a normal person's. | ||
| They were like, literally, the man has, like, built-in headgear. | ||
| And you're like, I guess you get that from biting down, maybe, or something, or biting down on mouthpieces. | ||
| It could be genetics. | ||
| Whatever it was, the dude was just, like, really hard to hurt. | ||
| That was one of the big things about him. | ||
| Tommy Hearns couldn't hurt him. | ||
| Mugabe couldn't hurt him. | ||
| They would nail him, but he would just keep coming forward. | ||
| Nobody ever stopped Marvin Hagler. | ||
| Nobody ever stopped Marvin Hagler. | ||
| Not even close. | ||
| Nobody even fucking came close to stopping that guy. | ||
| Yeah, there's been a few guys like that throughout history that just for whatever reason just had that extra motivation above and beyond everyone else. | ||
| And he was smart to call it quits when he did because, I mean, you do see those guys a la Nogueira who have these ungodly chins who can take so much abuse. | ||
| But after a while, you know, you hit a spot where he's like, okay, you clock the X amount of punches you could take in your life is done. | ||
| And now every other punch you take is going to drop you. | ||
| Yeah, that gets really sad to see old, great fighters. | ||
| That's one of the saddest aspects of fighting. | ||
| Wouldn't it be amazing if they figured out how to fix that with stem cell research? | ||
| They figured out how to reverse pugilistic dementia and cure brain damage from fighting. | ||
| That would be beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, because it makes you think twice about training stand-up sparring for real. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it does. | ||
| You grapple, it's all limbs, right? | ||
| It sucks, but it's not your brain. | ||
| Listen, I know people who've gotten bad concussions from grappling. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| They fall funny, you know, and a lot of heads collide with knees and accidental things happen where you get knocked unconscious. | ||
| You're taking a chance no matter what you do, but it's the sub-concussive blows from boxing, the continual process of getting hit. | ||
| Yeah, because that's not an accident in training. | ||
| That's the name of the game. | ||
| It's hitting you in the head, and you take it over and over and over after a while. | ||
| It can be a good thing for your brain. | ||
| Especially if you're training with some fucking animal who hits hard. | ||
| If you're in there with some guy on a regular basis and he likes to beat up sparring partners, great. | ||
| You just got a little stupider every day. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Every day of your life you get a little stupider. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| How do you do it when you spar? | ||
| Because when you grapple, it's easy. | ||
| As long as you're not a dick, you're not going to hurt people. | ||
| Well, accidents happen. | ||
| You've got to just find really good training partners. | ||
| That's the most important thing. | ||
| Because, I mean, don't you find sometimes when you are done with a sparring session in striking that sometimes you're not entirely sure how well you did? | ||
| Because it's like you didn't really go full out, were you? | ||
| Like, that shot that I hit him with, did it have the juice really behind it or he would have just shrugged it off and that's it? | ||
| You know, it's like, does it ever happen to you or you feel like you know what's up by the end? | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| You have to, like, ego-wise, you have to realize that, like, when you're sparring, you're both pulling back. | ||
| So shots that you got hit with, you maybe would have got hurt in a real situation, and shots that you got hit with, your response, maybe you wouldn't have been able to even deliver it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it can get unrealistic for guys who like to spar light, but they take shots on the chin and then... | ||
| Keep moving forward as if in real life they would be okay. | ||
| That becomes a real problem, for sure. | ||
| And that's one of the problems with developing techniques under minimal stress. | ||
| But if you're doing it correctly, if you're being well-trained, they won't allow you to develop those really bad habits. | ||
| Because those really bad habits, you can fundamentally alter the thinking that allows you to spar like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Number one most important thing, two important things, but number one is great trainers. | ||
| You have to have a trainer that trains you in a technical way and makes the class move in a technical way as well. | ||
| And number two, train partners that you can trust so you're not going to blast each other. | ||
| And then you've got to make sure that you go full out on the mitts and the bag so that in a real scenario you can deliver those shots with full impact. | ||
| But it's a tricky game. | ||
| Striking is a tricky game. | ||
| It's a very, very dangerous endeavor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's awesome to get good at. | |
| It feels great, but it's that line, right? | ||
| If you do a little too little, it's unrealistic because it's like, come on, you're barely touching each other. | ||
| If you go a little too hard, those are all brain cells saying goodbye. | ||
| Yeah, my young days when I was a young man, one of the things that I was concerned most with was the potential of brain damage. | ||
| I'd known too many people that I'd seen slowly slip away from the gym wars and kickboxing and boxing training and stuff like that. | ||
| But, you know, on the other hand, it's fucking exciting to watch. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| And people are going to keep doing it. | ||
| Like, did you see the Mayweather fight this weekend? | ||
| No, Mayweather, I just can't take it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| He's fucking brilliant. | ||
| He is brilliant. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| It's beautiful to watch. | ||
| If I was fighting at this level, I would probably do the same thing. | ||
| It's like, I'm not going to get hurt. | ||
| I'm going to get paid a shitload of money. | ||
| I win. | ||
| Why the fuck should I take chances? | ||
| Well, he took chances. | ||
| He does take some... | ||
| In this fight, he fought a very different kind of fight. | ||
| He stood right in front of this dude. | ||
| Robert Guerrero is a tough guy, but he out-toughed him. | ||
| He out-moved him. | ||
| He out-angled him. | ||
| He clinched a hold of him. | ||
| Didn't let him, like, manipulate him and bully him and rip shots on him. | ||
| And then he just counter-punched the fucking shit out of him, man. | ||
| It just was brilliant. | ||
| I mean, it wasn't the most exciting fight in the world, but as someone who appreciates technique, I appreciate the shit out of how he did it. | ||
| He's just an awesome boxer. | ||
| He talks crazy mad shit, but that's also why people buy his pay-per-view. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| I don't know the dude. | ||
| I know the dude's a bad motherfucker, though, as far as when it comes to boxing. | ||
| He's made some crazy claims about MMA, which I always find hilarious, but I don't fault him for that because he's in the business of promoting. | ||
| Part of his shtick is, look, he knows there's a lot of people that are paying attention to MMA. If he starts talking mad shit about MMA fighters, people who don't even watch boxing will pay attention to his fight and even buy it to see him lose. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I saw some people that I know, they were tweeting, you know, I think Mayweather loses this weekend. | ||
| I was like, what are you even saying? | ||
| What are you even talking about? | ||
| Do you know what you're watching when you're watching that guy? | ||
| You're watching an all-time Hall of Famer. | ||
| And Robert Guerrero's a good fighter. | ||
| He's a very good fighter. | ||
| It'll be an interesting fight. | ||
| Mayweather's going to box his fucking face off. | ||
| That's what he's going to do. | ||
| Because he's one of the best ever. | ||
| I made 80 bucks on him, so I was pleased. | ||
| What was the odds? | ||
| They were really bad, so I had to bet a lot, but I was so sure that it was like, there's no way in hell he's going to lose. | ||
| He could hurt his hand. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And he did, in fact. | ||
| He hurt his right hand somehow in the fight, but he kept throwing it. | ||
| Or the Jon Jones thing, you know, it's obvious that Jon Jones was going to win, but it's like, well, shit can happen. | ||
| Yeah, act of God type shit. | ||
| You know, Jon Jones' foot wasn't even broken, the toe wasn't even broken. | ||
| He just dislocated it and twisted it and broke the skin. | ||
| Crazy that that wasn't even broken. | ||
| And they're like, he'll be back training in six weeks. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| Six fucking weeks? | ||
| It didn't look like that. | ||
| That looked like a six-month injury, but apparently, nope, no problem. | ||
| As soon as they set it, they stitched it up, the cut, set it, and they're like, you'll be all right. | ||
| It was funny how he barely even... | ||
| I don't think he noticed it until you pointed it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he was doing cartwheels! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He was doing cartwheels with a fucked-up toe. | ||
| And you were like, hey, look at your foot. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He noticed it. | ||
| Oh, he noticed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Yeah, we were talking, and he was standing. | ||
| I think he noticed that when he was stepping, that he was stepping in something wet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So he looked down. | ||
| I realized it was blood. | ||
| I was like, where's this blood? | ||
| Oh my goodness, I have a broken toe. | ||
| That's when he realized there was something wrong with his foot. | ||
| It was totally him, him looking down at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was fucking crazy. | ||
| It was a crazy moment because nobody knew what to do because I was interviewing him and it was all antique. | ||
| So nobody acted. | ||
| So I had to kind of like grab the stool, call in the doctor. | ||
| Sit down. | ||
| You still want to do this? | ||
| He's like, I still want to talk. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| It was a weird moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| You had to tell somebody to get a chair for him. | ||
| Well, I got a chair for him. | ||
| I wound up getting the chair myself. | ||
| I was like, can we get him a chair? | ||
| And then I'm like, no one's moving. | ||
| Everybody was like, oh, shit. | ||
| No one wanted to get in the way on TV either. | ||
| It's one of those things. | ||
| It's probably like strict rules as to who can enter the octagon in that situation. | ||
| But that was probably one of the weirdest injuries that I've ever seen. | ||
| Who saw that coming? | ||
| Beating some guy up, you hurt your own self. | ||
| Yeah, you were this close to losing the fight when you have dominated the whole time. | ||
| He would have lost. | ||
| They would have taped that fucking foot together. | ||
| He would have gone. | ||
| If they could, even if he didn't have to tape it together, Chael would have had to come close enough to clinch him, and he beat Chael up so bad in that first round, Chael was in a lot of trouble doing anything in that second round. | ||
| I mean, the fight was almost over. | ||
| The round was almost over. | ||
| I think there was like 30 seconds to go, maybe less. | ||
| But the beating that he put on Chea was ferocious, man. | ||
| Those elbows. | ||
| He's a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| He's skating, man. | ||
| He's a motherfucker, and he's getting better all the time. | ||
| It's so cool to watch what is like a real exceptional athlete, an exceptionally gifted person come along in MMA. Yep. | ||
| You know, because... | ||
| He, to me, is like a Roy Jones Jr. type character. | ||
| Like a guy who's coming out of nowhere, who's just so athletically talented, as well as all the other things, as well as disciplined, as well as... | ||
| He's got the whole package. | ||
| And he's creative. | ||
| He's fun to watch, because he's not going to do just the same fucking thing that he does well and he wins, but whatever. | ||
| He actually pulls off these crazy moves that you never know what he's going to do, and it's like... | ||
| That spinning elbow he does when he gets you up against the cage is like a tornado of bones. | ||
| Yep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just... | |
| You're just getting smashed. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That is just... | ||
| And, you know, it's amazing. | ||
| The kid's only, like, 25. Like, what the fuck? | ||
| What's it going to be like when he's 35? | ||
| Yeah, because he's not really taking damage. | ||
| So at this rate, he can go on forever. | ||
| Yeah, and how's he going to take damage? | ||
| Who's going to be able to solve that fucking puzzle? | ||
| Sometimes you look at a guy's style and say, hmm, you know what that guy needs? | ||
| If you find a guy who does this and that, he might be in trouble. | ||
| The closest is if Vito Belfort catched him in that armbar. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, sure, everybody can lose. | ||
| One mistake happens. | ||
| There's always that percentage where you can lose any fight no matter what, but the odds are so low. | ||
| Right, and you know what freaks me out about that arm bar? | ||
| He let that dude fuck his arm up, man. | ||
| He let that dude way hyperextend his arm. | ||
| He never tapped. | ||
| He did not tap, and then he beat him up, and then he tapped him. | ||
| He tapped him with a fucked up arm. | ||
| So he's got this mental game down as well. | ||
| Yeah, because he got his arm popped in the first round, and he won, what, in the fourth? | ||
| So it's not even like he won right away and then he could pay attention to his arm. | ||
| That was a nasty arm bar, too. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Vitor did that. | ||
| That was some real black belt shit. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| oof! | ||
| Most guys would've tapped. | ||
| I would've tapped. | ||
| I mean, seriously, like, how do you feel if you're a belt? | ||
| You pulled off the perfect move, you pop this arm, you won't, right? | ||
| You gotta Ronda Rousey that bitch. | ||
| You gotta Ronda Rousey it. | ||
| Ronda breaks arms. | ||
| She doesn't wait for you to tap. | ||
| She's not even trying to get you to tap. | ||
| She's trying to break your shit. | ||
| Her mentality is not to tap. | ||
| You'll tap and then win. | ||
| Her mentality is break it, and then they gotta tap. | ||
| Then the game's over. | ||
| Yeah, what a crazy way to make a living. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| So your podcast, you call your podcast Drunk and Taoist? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You're fairly sober. | ||
| Well, sometimes. | ||
| Why do you call it Drunk and Taoist? | ||
| I like wine and I like Taoism. | ||
| No, I guess, I mean, to me it's like, there's always things like Kung Fu movies or something, the figure of the old dude who looks like old drunk and stuff and he can pull off these amazing things. | ||
| It's like, how the fuck did it happen? | ||
| I dig the idea of figuring out ways, whether it's applied to martial arts or applied to life, to... | ||
| Nobody can figure out how you did it, but you pull it off. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And to not think along the same lines like everybody else is going through the plan, there's an obvious A to B, B to C to get the results, but to have an alternate way to get shit done, I like it. | ||
| So that's why you came up with Drunken Taoist? | ||
| Again, that's the high-minded version. | ||
| The low-minded version is I like Taoism and I like wine. | ||
| Did you draw this picture that's on your t-shirt? | ||
| No, I asked this artist. | ||
| I told her what I wanted and she worked with me a little. | ||
| She was really cool. | ||
| She was awesome. | ||
| So what is it? | ||
| Is a dude punching... | ||
| A guy who's getting kissed? | ||
| Yeah, there's this guy who's making out with this hot, shapely woman. | ||
| And while he's making out with her, he's pouring wine over the two of them. | ||
| And another guy punches him. | ||
| Another guy's punching him, and so while he's leaning backward, kissing the woman, he managed to use a leg to kick him in the balls. | ||
| That is one of the worst shirts I've ever seen in my life, and you need to burn it and never wear it again. | ||
| And you need to question your sanity for mass-producing these fucking things. | ||
| I love it! | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's so multidimensional. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a lover and a fighter. | ||
| It's a very strange shirt, dude. | ||
| You sent in a really confusing message. | ||
| And you're also a cartoonist. | ||
| You should have the drunken Taoist adventures. | ||
| This guy just running around drinking and making out with chicks and kicking random bullies in the balls. | ||
| That's not a bad plan. | ||
| You've only been in America a short amount of time, folks. | ||
| We need to season him. | ||
| We need to get Daniele Bolelli just accustomed to our way of life where this is ridiculous. | ||
| We don't allow you to... | ||
| The other interpretation, people are like, no, but wait, this dude is punching him and he's leaning back. | ||
| I'm like, well, in that case, if he still managed to make out with a woman and drink after getting punched, I dig that message too. | ||
| I would think he really needs to stop being cocky and let go of the girl and deal with this dude who's trying to kick his ass because this is silly. | ||
| If I was your coach, I'd be very mad at you. | ||
| You've got to address this situation more rational. | ||
| We need to be serious about it, right? | ||
| How often do you do in your podcast? | ||
| I do twice a month. | ||
| I do once a month with a guest, and then once a month is like random rants and chat with... | ||
| My friends Rich and Evan were helping me put together... | ||
| Did you do it at your house? | ||
| No, we recorded... | ||
| Well, actually, we started doing a few at my house. | ||
| We were doing it in a studio first, and then now we decided moveable studio. | ||
| So a few times we did it at my house. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool to be able to do it wherever the fuck you want it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool to have a central location, but I like when sometimes when people do, like Ari does a lot of them on the road. | ||
| He just starts, you know, brings microphones, sets up, and that way, if he's in weird places, he can get strange people. | ||
| Ari's gone. | ||
| Ari's gone. | ||
| Ari moved to New York City. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Because he's a silly bitch, and he's all Jewed out. | ||
| He thinks he can go to the motherland. | ||
| He can't go to Israel, so he thinks he's just going to go to New York, and that's the other Jew motherland. | ||
| They're going to accept him with open sandwiches. | ||
| We had a Going Away podcast where he brought this huge box, and inside the box was just shit that he was going to throw away. | ||
| And he's like, you know, if you come to the show, I'm going to get... | ||
| Giveaway presents the whole night. | ||
| So he had like all this random shit that he like bought when he was really stoned and never used or never even opened the boxes like, you know, random things like raid, air bombs, you know, for cockroaches and like just weird shit. | ||
| And then at one point he's like, all right, who here, you know, the next five people who here does drugs, you know, raise your hand. | ||
| And he's just throwing out prescription medicine to people. | ||
| What? | ||
| He grabs this one thing and he goes, oh, I better not do that. | ||
| I think it was acid or something. | ||
| He just puts it in his pocket. | ||
| But it was just ridiculous. | ||
| And then he opens it. | ||
| This thing of joints. | ||
| And he gives a joint to every single person in the audience. | ||
| How many people were in the audience? | ||
| Probably like 30, 40, something like that. | ||
| He gave 40 joints away? | ||
| Yeah, he gave a lot. | ||
| I mean, it was just a huge thing of joints. | ||
| And then he's just like, alright, everybody smoke it. | ||
| And so everyone's smoking it. | ||
| In the comedy store? | ||
| In the comedy store. | ||
| You can't even see anything. | ||
| And there's like this Boston thing going on downstairs for like a marathon event. | ||
| Charity show? | ||
| Yeah, charity show. | ||
| There's this charity show going on and you're just seeing the smoke just gushing down that back hallway. | ||
| Oh, so that was in the main room, which is right below the belly room. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| It was so funny, though. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, he literally burned his bridge. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, you can't do that indoors. | ||
| They can lose their license for that shit. | ||
| You're not supposed to do that, you fuck. | ||
| Allegedly, that all happened. | ||
| Yeah, allegedly, because the people were smoking in the audience. | ||
| I think you used to be able to smoke on stage as a part of an artistic performance. | ||
| I think you can still do that. | ||
| Still do that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because Stan Hope used to do it. | ||
| He used to smoke on stage and make fun of how it was a part of an artistic performance. | ||
| He allowed to smoke on stage. | ||
| Some stupid loophole. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that because he smoked in Ohio. | ||
| He went and played this building that's owned by the campus. | ||
| It's just like a building for speech and speakers and stuff like that. | ||
| But it had a bar in it. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| And I think they tore it down since then. | ||
| Ohio State. | ||
| And Doug played and he wanted to smoke so bad. | ||
| But this is owned by the school and there's definitely no smoking allowed in it. | ||
| And he goes, I don't care. | ||
| Everyone can smoke. | ||
| And he just started smoking. | ||
| The bartender lady who was just like this older lady that, you know, Probably was retired and just, I don't work at the old college. | ||
| But she's like, oh, stop it, please! | ||
| And she was just getting upset because she didn't know what to do. | ||
| And the whole campus was just like cigarettes. | ||
| Everyone was smoking cigarettes in that little... | ||
| In that little room? | ||
| Because Stanhope did it on stage? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So were they allowed to tell him to stop doing it on stage there? | ||
| Or was it an artistic performance thing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He did it anyway. | ||
| He just didn't care. | ||
| You told everyone in the audience to do it also. | ||
| The problem with cigarettes is it fucks with other people. | ||
| That's the problem with that stinky drug. | ||
| And it doesn't... | ||
| That's the one thing that Stan Hope says, that if he could stop... | ||
| He did this Opinion Anti thing recently where they were talking about addiction because Jim Norton is real clean and... | ||
| And it made some news source because it was an interesting conversation where Stan Hope was advocating that he's a shitty comic if he's not drunk. | ||
| And that's why he stays drunk. | ||
| And that comics like Mitch Hedberg, the only way you would have gotten those guys is with the drugs. | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson, the only way you would have got him is with the drugs and the alcohol. | ||
| That's how you create something like that. | ||
| It's just a weird sort of conversation to get into with people. | ||
| But he said the one thing that he regrets is the cigarettes. | ||
| He said it doesn't give you any benefit and he's completely hooked on them. | ||
| But they say that does give you a benefit. | ||
| Like synapses, like Stephen King claims that when he stopped smoking that he noticed a difference in his ability to fire. | ||
| That like his mind fired slower. | ||
| This was just right after he stopped or like after a while? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He made a comment on it. | ||
| I don't think it's right after. | ||
| I think it's the effect of it. | ||
| I think when people are on nicotine all the time, nicotine is like some kind of a stimulant. | ||
| Yeah, it relaxes. | ||
| It doesn't really relax. | ||
| Oh, it does. | ||
| It relaxes your nerves and everything. | ||
| Right, but the reason why it relaxes is because it feeds your addiction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| Or is that just what tobacco does? | ||
| No. | ||
| When you get an addiction and you become a junkie, you need it, you need it, you need it. | ||
| Goddamn, I'm stressed out. | ||
| I need it, I need it, I need it. | ||
| Ah, I got it. | ||
| Well, cigarettes relax me. | ||
| But they also got you to the point where you needed them where you were fucking crazy. | ||
| And it looks cool. | ||
| Yeah, but it is a stimulant, meaning it is a drug. | ||
| But that's not a relaxant. | ||
| It's the exact opposite of something that relaxes you. | ||
| A stimulant is the opposite of something that relaxes you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's why you definitely do get that feeling of relaxation. | ||
| But that feeling of relaxation is the same thing that heroin users get when they shoot up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Boom! | ||
| They see those little white glowing butterflies float out of their soul as they lay back on the pillow and let go of the rubber band. | ||
| Let that hot heroin just race through your body. | ||
| I think you just caused about 17 people listening right now to fall back into heroin. | ||
| The people that have done it, man, that's the problem with heroin. | ||
| They say it's fucking awesome. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| People that have even taken those pills have said it's awesome. | ||
| Oxycontins, people that have had Oxycontin issues. | ||
| Yeah, some guy posted a thread about it on the message board. | ||
| He was talking about opiates and how amazing they are. | ||
| It's just terrible that they're so bad for you that you can't care for them, but the feeling apparently is just amazing. | ||
| I read somebody a while ago saying, yeah, it's fucked up because it messes you up horrendously, but so we should leave it legal for people who have a few months left to leave? | ||
| Because it's like, what are you going to fuck up anyway? | ||
| You're dying anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree with that. | |
| But you feel like a god for the last three months. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| Well, that's what we're doing anyway. | ||
| We give them morphine. | ||
| That's what we're doing when we're giving them Oxycontins. | ||
| We're basically giving them opiates, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Morphin is weird. | ||
| I mean, when you think about the whole thing, it's like how, yeah, speaking of freedoms, it's like people, I'm pro-freedom, except that you can't kill yourself the way you want to. | ||
| You know, if you're dying a slow, painful disease, you need to die slowly and painfully, because otherwise, because otherwise what? | ||
| Otherwise the gods are angry. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like, the life is not really... | ||
| You are not to choose how you stay or leave. | ||
| But then we have the hospice, which it really... | ||
| I mean, euthanasia is not legal, so you can't really do it, but we'll just give you morphine for comfort. | ||
| Wait, you said you need more morphine? | ||
| Okay, we'll give you a little more. | ||
| You said you're still in pain? | ||
| Of course, you just keep shooting up until you die, but rather than doing it in a humane, cool way where you shoot up and you're done in 15 minutes like you do with a dog, you'll do it over a period of days or a week or something, just How dare you compare grandma to a dog? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You son of a bitch. | |
| Goddamn crazy Italians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But the thing is that people are all pissed about, it's terrible. | |
| It's like, well, you don't fucking do it. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| You die the way you want to. | ||
| How about you let other people die the way they want to? | ||
| The problem is that someone can get it and then give it to you. | ||
| That's the worry. | ||
| The worry about having shit that could fuck you up is obviously people doing it to people against their will. | ||
| Yeah, that's, of course, but then that's what you work on, on like anything that you don't do, you know, you don't outlaw something just because it can be used against their will. | ||
| You work on the fact on those cases when it's used against somebody's will. | ||
| Which is the argument for not worrying about how many guns are out there, but worrying about the mental health of a nation that allows a certain percentage of people to go on gun Fueled rampages. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Who are those people and why are they doing it? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But nobody concentrates on that. | ||
| They concentrate on the guns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's too many guns! | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| No, that's exactly... | ||
| That's missing the point because it's about... | ||
| It boils down to... | ||
| In your hand... | ||
| Or, well, I don't know about you, but in somebody's hand, having a fucking atomic weapon wouldn't be a problem because you're not nuts and you're not going to use it. | ||
| Are you saying that I would be a problem with an atomic weapon? | ||
| I'm just fucking with you. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| But you know what I mean. | ||
| It really boils down to individual to individual. | ||
| It's not the same thing. | ||
| The problem comes in because it's who's going to decide who's the same individual and which one isn't. | ||
| The state, that always works really well. | ||
| But then if you don't do it, that means every psycho in the world can get easily their hands on some messed up stuff. | ||
| If you do do it, it's clearly an imperfect system because it's done through the state where there are always enormous loopholes, things that doesn't work, is inefficient. | ||
| So it's tricky. | ||
| I can see why people argue passionately both ways because you can see there's kind of a logic both ways in that. | ||
| Yeah, there's definitely a logic both ways. | ||
| I mean, the idea that people are smart enough to figure out what to do and not to do has been proven false time and time again. | ||
| People are stupid. | ||
| There's a shitload of us that are stupid as fuck. | ||
| But then the argument is, the reason why they're stupid as fuck is that we allow them to survive Or being stupid and don't allow these dumb mistakes to happen. | ||
| They die off. | ||
| We're just so attached to every single precious life that we're not allowing stupid people to die from being stupid. | ||
| So stupidity is no longer a negative factor in evolution. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're allowed to be stupid and live. | |
| Stupid fucks. | ||
| That's fucking scary at the same time. | ||
| That's fucking stupid. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's a slippery slope from that to like, well, good eugenics program where we just... | ||
| That's not good either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't do that either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem. | ||
| There's no way to do it right. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| We're just... | ||
| We're stuck in the middle. | ||
| We're on a stage of developing and one day we'll be way better than this. | ||
| But right now, it's kind of fucked. | ||
| Way better than me? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| It's possible even better than the god that is Daniele Bolelli. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Blasphemy. | ||
| The future is going to be amazing. | ||
| We'll have even better gods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I don't know if I can deal with that. | ||
| Are you still teaching? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where are you teaching at? | ||
| I'm teaching a few courses at Cal State Long Beach, a few courses at Santa Monica College. | ||
| Do they ever give you a hard time for your controversial viewpoints? | ||
| No, I think they decide it's easier to just not deal with it, because if they come after you, then it can open a whole shitstorm of why are you firing him and all of that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's like, you know what, whatever. | ||
| It doesn't matter anyway, because we'll do things the way we want anyway. | ||
| Say whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| Go in the classrooms. | ||
| Does anybody ever take ombrage with some of the things that you say? | ||
| I'm sure they do, not face-to-face. | ||
| Nobody says anything, really? | ||
| Oh, that's kind of cool. | ||
| So you teach all this crazy shit in your classes, and everybody's like, well, it's fucking historically accurate. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's not... | ||
| It's like, sure, argue to me about the specific. | ||
| Even because I don't, in the class, I don't really try to sell a viewpoint. | ||
| So I'll say something really radical, but I'll also show all the exception to what I just said. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it doesn't sound like I'm trying to sell you something. | ||
| The reason why I asked you is because you went on some Twitter rampage a while back. | ||
| Yeah, I was pissed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You wrote like a whole essay about the education system. | ||
| I had an open letter to academia that closed with the immortal words of Tupac, fuck you and your motherfucking mama. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, yes, that I'm sure didn't go so well. | |
| Well, that's how you make it count. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You gotta speak their language. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, man, listen, I wish I had a fucking teacher like I had Dom Herrera. | ||
| He used to be a teacher. | ||
| I wish he was one of my teachers, and I wish you were one of my teachers, too. | ||
| That would have been an amazing time in school. | ||
| Instead, I got caught with a bunch of people that made teaching or made school boring as fuck. | ||
| That's the majority. | ||
| I didn't know that history was interesting until I listened to Dan Carlin. | ||
| Yeah, but that's what I mean. | ||
| That's what drives me insane. | ||
| A guy like Dan Carlin, who is fucking amazing, in case we haven't made that clear already, he is not a historian and that's why he's fucking amazing. | ||
| Because most historians, by the time they got through their PhD, all the creativity, all the juice has been squeezed out of them and there's nothing left because they have been made to conform to this really boring, prudent, careful way of telling stories where they can't say a sentence without 17 exceptions to what they say. | ||
| And the evidence here on paragraph 17, it's like nobody wants to listen to it. | ||
| It's fucking boring. | ||
| Dan Carling goes on, put on a historical podcast and becomes something that people around the world want to listen to because he's a storyteller, because he makes it exciting. | ||
| Being boring is a fucking real curse. | ||
| Tell me about it. | ||
| It's almost like there's something wrong with you if you're boring. | ||
| It's almost like you can't figure out a better way to express this information. | ||
| This information that you're giving, you're giving it in a really fucking shitty way. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You need to work on your presentation, son. | ||
| And that's the thing that in some way it sucks because you can tell to somebody, look, this sucks because it's so boring and it doesn't have the juice. | ||
| But the reality is that they... | ||
| I think they can only improve it 10% because it's not just a technique, it's who you are. | ||
| These are people who are boring when they step, when they are not teaching and you are talking to them down the street. | ||
| It's just their personality that comes through. | ||
| It's like that song, Daniele Bolelli, it takes every kind of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It takes... | |
| I could see Daniel Bellelli sitting around his house with a little incense lit, smoking a joint, listening to some 70s music. | ||
| Maybe some Jim Croce. | ||
| 70s more. | ||
| You don't turn on Superman's cape. | ||
| You don't spit into the wind. | ||
| You don't pull... | ||
| No? | ||
| Seventh is more like Hendrix, Led Zeppelin kind of stuff. | ||
| Do you do air guitar around the house in your underwear? | ||
| No, I'm sure I'm going to get to that level, but I haven't quite got to that point yet. | ||
| If you do do it, please make a YouTube video so your students know what the fuck they're dealing with. | ||
| Sign up at your course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you imagine? | |
| You'd probably have a full class if you just played Voodoo Child and just fully lipped all the lyrics, knew all of it, and went around with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every other time now, because through online you can find out a lot of things about people, a bunch of students ask me, is that you in this picture where you're holding a kid and you have your middle finger out? | ||
| You say, what's that about? | ||
| I'm like, oh yeah, about that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was rebellious. | ||
| It was before I realized the ultimate expression of rebellion is the drunken Taoist t-shirt. | ||
| Before then, I was holding a baby giving the middle finger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's another... | |
| I love my Drunken Ties t-shirt, goddammit. | ||
| Listen, brother, I'm sorry I talked shit about your t-shirt. | ||
| I had to. | ||
| I'm a comedian. | ||
| I gotta do what I gotta do. | ||
| I gots to do what I gots to do. | ||
| And how do they get your podcast? | ||
| It's on iTunes? | ||
| iTunes, yes. | ||
| And if somebody wants to take your class, can they take your class without signing up for anything else at the school? | ||
| Can you just pay to take your class? | ||
| Officially, clearly not. | ||
| But, yeah, whatever. | ||
| So how would someone make that happen? | ||
| Long Beach, I'm actually not teaching a whole lot because I'm there mainly, I think I teach just one class and the rest I do online, which sucks anyway because it's, well, in any case. | ||
| The main thing, so I teach mostly at Santa Monica College live, in person, and it depends on the class. | ||
| You know, some classes are, they enroll them to the limit. | ||
| Other classes, they enroll it and then they leave a bunch of empty chairs, so not a big deal. | ||
| Somebody might be able to show up? | ||
| Totally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Daniele Bolelli. | ||
| Thank you for joining us, my brother. | ||
| So, The Drunken Taoist is available on iTunes. | ||
| Do you have a website for it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's drunkentaois.com. | ||
| It's actually thedrunkentaois.com, and then there's just my own website that's linked to that, just my name, danielebolelli.com. | ||
| That's it, bitches. | ||
| And if you look for him on Twitter, it's dbolelli, B-O-L-L-E-L-I, right? | ||
| B-O-L-E-L-L-I. L-E-L-L-I. I tried to freeball it, and I failed miserably. | ||
| Thank you to audible.com for sponsoring this podcast. | ||
| Go to audible.com forward slash Joe. | ||
| Get yourself a free audio book, my friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Book. | |
| We're also brought to you by stamps.com. | ||
| Click on the microphone. | ||
| Use the code word JRE for a little special treat and an excellent deal on a great service. | ||
| And Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Brian and I, along with the lovely and talented Ari Shafir, will see you dirty bitches in Canada this weekend. | ||
| We will tomorrow night be at... | ||
| What's the name of the theater we're doing? | ||
| He doesn't know. | ||
| This motherfucker doesn't know. | ||
| I think it's called The Vogue. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The Vogue Theatre in Vancouver tomorrow night for two shows. | ||
| So we can't wait. | ||
| And we're doing something different this time because you fucking people take too long with your goddamn phones that you don't know how to work. | ||
| The camera on, so I'm gonna take all the photos, I'm gonna have someone take them with my camera, so we'll get a perfect picture every time, and then we'll upload it to the website, and you can take it from there. | ||
| So it'll also drive traffic to my website. | ||
| And don't go, dude, that's fucked up, because I don't wanna hear it! | ||
| You bitches need to learn how to use your 1967 fuckin' wack-ass cell phone that I have to wait for. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| I shut it off by accident! | ||
| Hold on! | ||
| And there's a line of a thousand people taking pictures. | ||
| That shit's ridiculous to the people that work at the theaters. | ||
| So they've requested I streamline the process. | ||
| So that is the only solution. | ||
| Right, you fucks? | ||
| So we love the shit out of you. | ||
| And we will see you on Monday. | ||
| And that's a wrap. | ||
| Peace, love, happiness, and good luck in your search for Bigfoot. |
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