Joe Rogan and Duncan Trussell explore a futuristic "neurological time machine" to relive history, debating human memory’s fallibility—from false eyewitness accounts to Zero Dark Thirty’s misrepresented torture claims—while mocking outdated Geneva Convention jokes. They critique institutional power, from Catholicism’s scandals to Jimmy Swaggart’s hypocrisy, and ponder VR’s gaming and pornographic potential, including PGAD risks. Rogan ties personal responsibility to gratitude and early life choices, dismissing fear-based systems like religion or online hate as distractions from a universe of love, hinting at DMT’s revelations. The episode blends absurdity with existential musings on technology, memory, and societal delusion. [Automatically generated summary]
You said it, and right when you said it, the volume came on.
I'm pathetic.
It's not even funny anymore.
It's just sadness.
This podcast is brought to you by Hover.
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We are also brought to you by Onnit.com.
That's O-N-N-I-T. I've done this commercial a fucking billion times.
What Onnit is, is a company that sells supplements that increase your performance, whether it's Cognitively, whether it's physically, there's Shroom Tech Sport, which is an amazing supplement that we put together.
It's from the Cordyceps mushroom, and the idea behind it is there's certain plants, like Cordyceps mushroom being an excellent one, but it's not really a plant, because Cordyceps mushroom is a crazy kind of fungus.
I just think it only makes sense to me that if it's possible, as long as I'm not starving, as long as I have money to buy supplements, and if you don't, you know, spend your money on healthy food.
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And occasionally they do things that are just a little bit silly.
But it's not with bad intentions.
He's just all about going after it and getting it.
When you talk about going after it and getting it, though, there's a certain douchiness that just sort of comes off when you talk about anything that pumps up your masculinity.
And one of the things that was in, the guy that my message board picked up, was it said in this new supplement, T Plus, a testosterone supplement, it said something about it increasing your swagger.
Do you know, I mean, what is that when you feel great, when your life is fucking rolling around, perfect, just on the perfect frequency, and you have that feeling like you're just walking.
It's not swagger.
It is kind of a swagger, but swagger is too gross a word, so we have to have another word for it.
What is that feeling, that feeling like when you're at your best?
Like, wow, I'm about as happy as I think I've ever been.
You extend the amount of time that you're sentient.
You extend the amount of time that you have consciousness.
It's a very funny thing.
It's like our age starts the moment the matter we're composed of wakes up to an awareness of itself and stops the moment it's not aware of itself anymore.
But what we are, that's not really our age.
It's much longer than that and surviving means You've extended the amount of self-awareness by some number of years.
But it doesn't really...
Surviving cancer...
I don't...
This is something I've been talking about on stage.
The whole surviving cancer thing is a...
It's an annoying term.
Like, now I'm a cancer survivor?
That's what I am now?
I don't want to be that.
There's so many other things I'd like to be represented by than that.
I mean anyone out there who's fighting cancer right now, by the way, keep up the good fight.
There's a whole brotherhood that you find out there of people – an ancestorhood of people who are dealing with this shit and it's beautiful.
So I don't mean to denigrate your struggle that you're going through.
It's just – I wish there was another word for it than survivor.
It's such a dire term.
It's such a dire term.
It's like you just climbed out of a dragon's mouth or a smoldering car.
Like what they were before they didn't die from a disease or a thing becomes insignificant to this one little moment of...
Right.
And I think that's where it's weird to me.
It's like, well, no, you're the sum total of everything you've done, not just some inevitable blip that emerged that you climbed out of or temporarily managed to stop.
Like, you know, like, if you came out of a spaceship on some alien planet and you're like, alright, while I'm on this planet, I'm going to make it so my vaginal muscles are fucking strong!
I know, I'm reviewing them, and I've gotten to the point where, like, I realize 7-Eleven...
It takes the safe route.
Like, their products are a little bit weaker and not safe.
But you go to some of these, like, miscellaneous gas stations that don't give a shit, there's, like, these things called, like, ML2, like, good for two weeks.
And you're like, how is that even possible?
And then so you take it, and, like, on the cover, it's just, like, a skull and a boob or something.
They're taking giant amounts of generic Cialis and generic Viagra and like those chemicals are not that expensive and you can get those chemicals and if you sell it in like little single serving forms at a gas station, it's actually like profitable.
Tim Ferriss, who's a brilliant guy, has a great quote.
And the quote is, he doesn't believe there's a biological free lunch.
He's like, anything that's doing that has that positive an impact in one direction will have, most likely, an equally positive reaction in another direction.
It's very possible that it could cause real issues.
And the fucking thing, man, it says on it, I researched this stuff, it says, and this made me think that Aubrey's Cialis theory was totally dead on, because on the website, it says that the ingredient is crushed up ants.
And that nitric oxide, I believe I'm saying it right, is what is in a lot of those NO2 explode, all these different sort of supplements, these pre-workout supplements that get people pumped up.
Because apparently, Viagra, Cialis, all those things, they're performance enhancing.
As far as your body's ability to pump blood through itself, it makes you more efficient.
You know, I get really fucking horny, but I'm like...
Well, there's two things.
One, I tend to have a girlfriend, and I'm monogamous, so that's one thing.
But when that's not happening, then generally there's this – it's like I really get in my head about it.
And so I think about – I overthink it.
Like I'm way in my head about everything.
Like I live in my head most of the time.
And when you live in – there's good things about living in your head.
But when it comes to fucking – And jumping into this primal animalistic state that creates the best sexual experience where you just let go and it's more difficult to me, especially out on the fucking road.
Because I consider the lead up to it and I consider the follow, like after you fuck, You know what I mean?
And it's like – because porn is the ultimate.
Because with porn, you jerk off to porn and that's it.
You don't have to like walk porn to the door.
You don't have to like have a – like porn, it's done.
It's not going to call you up.
Like porn that you've looked at is not going to call you up and be like, I'm fucking pregnant.
You don't see what happens right before the porn shoot or, God forbid, 10 years, the girl walking in on her dad fucking a dog or something or getting fingered by her uncle.
You just see this incredible, beautiful, primal moment of fucking.
And you don't see afterwards, after the porn shoot.
You know what I mean?
That weird moment in the car driving back from a porn shoot.
You know, you wipe a little jizz out of your hair.
You know, that whole thing, you just get that one burst, right?
So on the road, it's like fucking on the road, it seems like there's a lot of pitfalls there and a lot of weird dangers.
It's a lot more than just like, you know, what would be in a 70s movie.
But like I said, I think too much.
You know what I mean?
I'm clearly overthinking it.
Satanists are all about doing that stuff.
You know, I had a friend who was a Satanist and he said that in life, and I remember it was really, it's really rough when a Satanist says something that seems like absolutely true.
But he's like, you know, this is coming from a guy with Lucifer tattooed on his chest.
But he said, you know, in life.
He said, hell, hell is not some place where you burn forever.
Hell is that moment that you're dying.
That moment when you're at your deathbed or you're in the car, you're sitting in the car, wherever the fuck you are.
You're dying and your mind goes back and thinks about all those opportunities you had to experience life to the fullest.
All those chances you had to dive into life and suck the marrow out of life and you did not have fear.
You know, the whole Christian idea of hell is nonsense.
That the only real hell, since there is no hell, absolutely, if there was obviously, if there was a real Christian hell where demons fly down and put their balls in your mouth and like slice you into bits every five minutes.
I mean, because look, when we're talking about hell, we're talking about a torture chamber created by...
Obviously, I do not believe this, but if we're talking about hell, it's a torture chamber created by the creator of the known universe.
So it is the most advanced torture chamber that could possibly exist because it's created by the most advanced being.
Psychotic in this case, but the most advanced being.
So in a real torture chamber, your means of torture are not going to be so obvious.
It's like...
Burning fire and it burns your skin.
The first thing you'd want people to think is that they're not in a torture chamber.
You'd want them to think that there's some hope, some hope for peace.
As long as they were hoping for peace and thinking that there was going to be some moment of tranquility, it would increase their levels of disappointment to the maximum.
So that's the hell trip.
The hell trip is where you start thinking like, oh shit, this is it.
This is hell.
We've been – this is the ultimate torture device devised by some maniacal, insane god that everyone has popped into and instead of like remembering where they're at, they're just like, oh no, this is totally normal.
I got to go through traffic in the morning.
Got to go through three-hour commutes.
You know what I mean?
That's hell.
You don't even know you're there.
You don't even know you're there.
Maybe slowly you start – I don't think that by the way.
The opposite works too.
You can also think that this is heaven and you're just too dumb to see it.
You get to – you can pick with those two different like mythological constructs.
It's a series of shitty choices, a bad circumstance, bad luck, a combination of all the above.
And most of the time when you use that term, a guy lives in hell, you're talking about a guy who's under someone's thumb.
Whether it's whether he works for some crazy company, you know, that, you know, demands him working 16 hours a day and his weekends.
And, you know, there's a lot of guys that live in hell that are like executives at studios and stuff like that.
Like those are crazy ass jobs, you know, working in, you know, I mean, I'm sure like stock market along those lines, like anything financial, there's probably a lot of people that are forced to work.
And if you have real restrictive work conditions, you have to wear a suit and tie, you have to fucking be very formal around the office, nobody can fuck around, nobody can relax.
All day.
Most of your day is just buttoned up and locked down.
He's this philosopher, the Indian philosopher, who was like this kid who was discovered by the theosophists and the theosophists were this strange spiritual group.
I don't know a lot about them but they – Madame Blatavsky was the woman's name.
But they spotted this Indian kid at the beach and one of them was like his aura is amazing or something and they sort of took this kid in and groomed this child and he eventually became this brilliant philosopher and as part of his like evolution turned his back on theosophy and said it's – that's not – it's more – he got really into the idea of being in the moment.
And I actually, on one of my podcasts, I put an awesome sound clip of him talking about how the past, you carry the past with you.
The past is in you right now.
It doesn't exist.
There's no past.
There's just your encoded memories of things that have happened.
And the future is something you create through everything that you do, but there's no future either.
It's like you're this packet, like a DNA packet, the way their DNA sort of spawns a specific type of cell.
What you do with what you carry around with you in every single moment spawns your reality around you, which is why people who, you know, you always will run into people like, I don't know why this always happens to me.
I always get dumped.
I just don't understand it.
I always get dumped or I always end up in this predicament or that predicament.
Well, the reason is you're like a caterpillar.
Or a silkworm and you're spinning your reality with every action that you do because that's all there is.
It's just this moment.
So you end up with a shit boss and you've ended up there just because you've been deluded by your perception of time.
You know, that's the fucking trick.
Because people listening to this have a shit boss, shit wife, shit girlfriend, shit husband, shit whatever.
You know what I mean?
In this awesome sound clip, J. Krishnamurti says, the only thing that you can do is right now at this moment make a radical psychological change in your apprehension of the universe.
At this moment.
At this moment, we're the shit boss.
With whatever.
It takes this radical, like, you have to break free of everything you've been taught.
Because we've all been taught to think that there's a future.
And we've all been taught to think there's a past.
There's also an issue that people have that this narrative has been sort of spelled out for us by our parents.
And then as we get old enough, when we get into our 20s or in our 30s, we really understand it.
We're like, oh my god, they were just clueless folks, just like we are.
Like, the idea that anybody had a handle on how to do this right.
And then you just look at the fact that these people, I mean, your parents and my parents, Are from a generation where they got to our age before there was an internet.
I mean, they're literally, they're different human beings.
It's a completely different style of human being.
It's human being one, we're human being two.
And this human being three that are being born right now that will only know insane levels of technological proficiency from the time that they're aware when they're three or four till they're dead when it's insane.
The more information keeps coming in, the weirder things start getting, the fucking meteors landing in Russia, the fact that no one even saw those coming, and that there was a giant asteroid that...
And generally with people, that thing where we just don't think about the – as a species, we are living in the same way a modern individual lives.
A species as a whole is living in a state of delusion.
The species as a whole is pretending that the most important thing is solving whatever little religious war or territory-based war or economic problem.
They think that's the most important thing and the way we're living as a species is all based on the notion of there being the individual instead of the totality of the race.
So this way of living is one of denial.
So the human race right now exists on a planet where we blow each other up every single day, fight these ridiculous wars, fight against each other, and completely ignore the fact that we are floating in the void.
And this planet, on the regs, on the regs, gets smashed by fucking meteors.
Now, why the fuck would we not, you know, be doing the obvious thing, which would be in this situation, if the first thing you would do is figure out, okay, let's come up with a foolproof way to control meteors.
Well, this is the whole thing where they say like one month of, you know, we stopped one month of war in Afghanistan.
You know that number, right?
If you stopped war for one month in Afghanistan, you could pay for everybody in the United States to go to college for free.
It's some kind of crazy number.
Now, that number might be two months.
So in the same way, if you consider that, you know what I mean?
I'm saying as a species, our priorities are a little weird.
And as an individual, you know, people in the same way, they spend most of their time ignoring the fact that there's a subjective meteor that's guaranteed going to smash into your life at some point, which is old age, disease, and death.
There's no way around it.
So people spend their time ignoring that fact as well.
It makes sense in a way.
I mean thinking about it's so fucking intense.
It's a lot easier to worry about your own personal problems, the little things.
Just find out what the yearly military budget is, you know?
It's like, look, this is the fucking thing that Neil deGrasse Tyson posts, which is like the picture of the meteor or whatever, and this is why we need to work, you know?
It can't be done as long as we're confused as a species into thinking that there are – Religions that are more important than religions or countries that are more important than other countries or people that are more important than other people.
As long as we're stuck in that modality, well, then we're never going to fucking wake up to the fact that we have to shift, you know?
And it's saying this stuff, you know, suddenly you sound like you're singing goddamn a John Lennon song, but it's like...
Oh man, that would be so fucking great to be able to like remember all those things.
It'd be so great just to know, you know, in the way they can do your DNA tests and they're like, whoa, you're like, you know, partially Scottish and there's some Native American in there.
It'd be so cool to like analyze all your particles and be like, oh yes, 4% of you came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster and the other 2% came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster.
You know what I mean?
It'd be super cool to know, like, just the various star particulates that you're comprised of would be incredible.
I don't know if this is true, but they believe that within the next 100 years, they will have a computer that is powerful enough.
Ready for this?
To take into account everything that exists today and use it in a numerical equation that will show everything that ever existed and every action and interaction that ever took place in the past in order to get to that position.
So they'll basically look at all the buildings.
They'll look at all the people.
They'll look at literally every component on Earth.
And that computers will be so powerful that from seeing what exists now and knowing the amount of time the Earth has existed, the computer will be able to paint you an incredibly accurate absolute simulation of every single action in its form, including whatever words you said to a girlfriend when you were pissed about, that it's all just one gigantic equation. including whatever words you said to a girlfriend when you
Every time you hit your horn at a red light, every time you said fuck yeah when Highway to Hell came on, all those things you could literally know everything that happened based on everything that exists.
Once you got to that point, you could get an accurate account of everything that exists on the earth.
All the water, all the...
I mean, it's not outside the realm of possibility.
If we can measure right now in our crude technological way where 200 years ago we were riding animals and we didn't have cars...
You couldn't take pictures.
Within 200 years, we could do that.
We can tell you how many acres something is.
We can tell you we can do a radio frequency test or whatever the fuck they do to find out what's in the ground, what the soil's made out of.
We can get a pretty rough account of what we've got around us.
Well, if they can get to a point where they can literally tell you everything that exists and have it calculated, Everything that exists in this form on Earth right now and know how long and know what we know about human history and put it all into account and be able to actually see a recreation of everything that's ever happened.
Here's the thing that the one little piece you're missing here, it's so funny you're saying this because I got super stoned in Vancouver and started thinking about something like this, but here's the thing you're missing.
Yes!
But you know what that is you just described?
That's a fucking time machine when you add one more component to it, which is a neurological interface that instead of it like you watching, it places you inside of the recreation.
So now you're able to zoom backwards through this like simulated past reality based on like, well, if this happened before this, we can figure out what happened before that.
And there was – there would be a kind of rate of entropy too based on like the further back you got, the less accurate your prediction of things that happened would be it seems like.
You wouldn't be – I don't think you'd be able to perfectly … Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do smell because there's no smell technology that would know all the kinds of smell like apple pie and stuff like that.
Well, what I'm basing it on though is events and like things that have caused like why.
You ever go to the Big Island?
You ever been to the Big Island?
The Big Island is actually the least populated.
It's less populated than Oahu or Maui.
But a big one half of a side of it is all lava fields.
It's all just like you know that that fucking thing exploded like recently like within the last who knows how many hundred years whatever and there's lava like rock all over the place if you could you could accurately say okay well this lava has been around for 150 years and before that it was pastures and they actually have photos of it you know you could have like the locals describe what happened when in 1820 the lava came over the top and covered the town we can get sort of a pretty decent picture Based on stuff
like that.
I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that they can get a totally accurate picture of history.
And the idea that they could, you know, what they're doing with the Human Genome Project, somehow they finally pull that off with the human brain.
So that you could start doing brain scans and gather people's memories together.
That's the other piece of it.
So then what you end up having is instead of just having these particulates that scan the geographical makeup of the planet, you also have somehow the ability to absorb the memories and the actual memories of human beings.
That's an existential idea, which is this idea of our actual lives, when you consider your POV, are so the opposite of movies and so the opposite of the construct of some beginning and some ending and some middle place.
It really is just this blur of, like, coffee's going in the mouth.
That thing that finally happens when everything just...
We finally turn away from these ridiculous...
Our addiction to leaders.
You know what I mean?
And we turn away from our addiction to matter and then...
God damn it, man.
It'd be so fucking awesome.
We could really, we could whip, I bet if all of humanity just started working on it right now, together, we could whip up a spaceship that would probably travel, I bet we could have a light speed traveling spaceship in 10 years.
I think one of the reasons why this podcast resonates so much with people is the conversations that we have sometimes where this is not an alien way of thinking.
This is a really smart way of thinking.
It makes sense.
And it seems like it would be beneficial to all, including the people that are in power.
But if you hear that, if you hear someone saying something like that, you automatically assume that they're a fucking loon.
They were growing wheat, apparently, and when they have a frost, when the plants freeze and then thaw out, sometimes they get weird funguses.
This one, they did some soil samples and they found that there was Sometime around that area, where they were doing the Salem witch trials, they had early frost.
I think they found evidence of this stuff, this ergot stuff.
I mean, scientifically it all lines up because they know that it's happened before, that people have gotten wheat that's been poisoned by it and they've gotten sick and they've had hallucinations.
So if you've got a whole country or a whole city that's eating the wheat for who knows how long that's filled with ergot.
But there's some speculation as to whether or not it would be still psychoactive after you baked it.
I've seen people that disagree with it.
But in my opinion, I mean, it seems to be a likely candidate.
They're all mismatched, weird shit that we don't really understand based on Jupiter and just strange.
Fucking Lupercalia is what Valentine's Day is, is Lupercalia.
You know about that?
You know what Lupercalia was?
What's that?
Lupercalia is fucking crazy, man.
You would get, like, on Valentine's Day, around Valentine's Day, it was called the Festival Lupercalia, and Luper was some kind of wolf god that the Romans worshipped.
So what you would do is you would, as I recall, I looked it up on Wikipedia.
You can look it up, guys, and you'll find a much more detailed...
Ancient, possibly pre-Roman, pastoral festival observed on February 13th through 15th to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility.
They whipped – there was flogging involved in this festival.
It was very strange.
But that's what – that preceded – that was the religion that preceded the one that is currently the dominant religion.
And that old religion didn't get – they weren't just like, you know what?
We're not going to worship the wolf god anymore.
It was that they were getting torched.
And I don't think it was based on eating like fungus.
I think it was because it's two combating paradigms that don't work together at all.
And I'm not saying either one is necessarily logical, but one is more based on the way the earth works and the other one is based on the way like old dudes try to control people.
That's where – that's the – I mean, dude, this whole fucking pope thing – To me, it's crazy and hilarious that we even pay attention to what that clown is doing.
How is that even making the news?
There's some weird fucking group of people who do the most bizarre ceremonies.
The guy's wearing a fucking wizard outfit with a fish head hat.
If you tried to do that today and tried to say, I am adorned of God, he has brought to me this information, you set up a shop, they would think you were a fucking loon.
But because of the fact that it's been around for a long time, this guy has a direct lineage, we're supposed to take it seriously.
He brought him into psychiatric, instead of bringing in and getting him prosecuted, they brought him in for psychiatric treatment and this guy went on They went to another parish and molested more boys.
I mean, it's fucking craziness.
He did that time and time again.
He took people away from being prosecuted and sent them to psychiatric care and they're free.
They're free to go.
They're free and they're walking around the street.
Some of them are in these huge religious retreat places that they have, beautiful grounds, and these guys are just wandering around, taking care of them for the rest of their lives.
I think you are very charismatic, and there's a lot of people that want to believe you, and they'll go along with it.
But you're talking crazy.
God's not talking to you, stupid.
No, you're an asshole.
You're an asshole, and you're taking their money.
We've got to make sure that this stops with our generation.
We've got to make sure that future generations don't They don't have a gigantic religious leader, someone who tells them based on some nutty shit that was written thousands of years ago by people who drew on animal skins.
The way that looks with Catholicism is just one version of the problem.
The other problem is the guy who calls – there's like – in the way there's a pope, there's also a dude who calls himself the president.
But instead of representing some phantasmal force called God, he says, I represent the will of the people.
Yet he doesn't really represent the will of the people.
It doesn't seem like that when he goes to – when they do the polls and they – as it turns out – and I'm not just the president.
Of course the government as a whole.
The president doesn't have totalitarian power, but – I don't think that the president really represents the will of the people, and I don't think Congress represents the will of the people, and I don't think Senate represents the will of the people any more than the Pope represents the will of God.
And I think it's this imaginary thing that we're supposed to believe in because it makes us feel more comfortable as though these people are really enacting the will of the people.
I think the will of the people is that we want peace.
We want to be able to – we do want security.
We want education.
But we don't want fucking war with evil.
Yeah.
We don't want fucking war with Iraq.
How the fuck do you say that?
I forget to say that.
I got so stirred up.
We don't want it.
Nobody wants war.
And if there is, it's a small faction of people, sweaty, red-faced cocksuckers.
You know, or like that awful, thin fucking scarecrow cunt, Ann Coulter.
Jesus Christ.
She's like something that...
Baphomet fucking coughed up like a hairball that Satan rejected.
Did you see her getting booed at the Libertarian Convention?
This fucking – she fucking had the audacity like in front of the Libertarian Convention she said – they were asking her like, do you think gay people can get married?
unidentified
And she's like, yes, gay people can get married to members of the opposite sex.
Yeah, and I believe that's one of the reasons why government likes to keep religion in positions of power and keep them tax-free.
Because it helps when people are in big groups.
It helps when people are already indoctrinated to the rules of the group, because then you're more likely to be a person who listens to rules.
The real issue with absolving all religion is not the denial of the existence of God, but the denial of man's knowledge of exactly what God is, who God is, what God wants, And instead, all you can do is base it on the wisdom of ancient teachings that we know to be true today.
A lot of that is real.
Being able to treat people the way you would want to be treated yourself and in fact treat people as if they were you living another life.
That's how I literally try to do that.
I try to do that.
It gets a little taxing when you're like, why am I such a fucking loser in this other life?
It gets annoying.
Why am I a dickhead in this other life?
But if you think about some of the things that people associate with religion, the ideas, the good ideas of charity and love and family, the values of virtue in your ethics and the way you think of your fellow citizens, your fellow humans that you're in this colony with, Those are all really super positive for the most part.
It's mixed in with a lot of scare tactics and fear and nonsense and who knows when that was all added.
That's the real problem.
But we know when we feel great.
We know when we feel filled with love.
We know when our life is at its best.
And it's real simple.
It's being around people that you also love.
They love you.
You're unconditional.
You're all friendly.
You're all happy.
And not having a bunch of shit that bothers you as far as like, man, I should have been a singer.
Or, man, I should have played baseball.
Or, man, I should have given it a shot.
Or, man, why didn't I call her that night and say I'm sorry?
Why did I have to be?
Whatever the fuck it is.
Whatever it is.
When you have regret, when you're in that weird state of regret, I'm very extreme with that.
I'm very harsh on myself as far as monitoring negativity and positivity and making sure that I'm in a good track.
When you judge yourself to be in a bad place, that can really distract all of your creativity.
It can completely fuck with any new positive things that are moving forward.
Instead, you've gone on to correction duty.
Then you have to look at how did this sort of behavior manifest itself?
What was the cause?
Is it alcohol-induced?
Is it insecurity-induced?
What happened?
What were the combinations of factors that led you to be a douchebag?
What was wrong that made you have a mediocre set?
What was the thing that was bugging you where you sat in front of your computer for two hours, you couldn't write shit?
What is that?
You gotta stop whatever that is.
Stop whatever that is and make sure that doesn't happen again.
And we have to sort of figure that out along the way.
And that's one of the weirdest things about being a human is we're all sort of figuring this out as this thing is in motion.
And I always equate it to being like we woke up In the middle of a starship that's hurling towards a planet.
And we're like waking up, hitting all the instruments, going, okay, where are we?
We're going 75 million miles an hour.
How close is that planet?
Okay, are we going to hit that planet?
Does anybody know how to hit...
Where are the brakes?
Does this thing turn?
Okay, how did we get here?
Who built this fucking ship?
And how long have we been asleep?
I mean, we literally are in the middle of not just a process, but like a journey...
A process of constant reevaluation and ingenuity and innovation where this technology that we're surrounded by is increasing in its power and ability like tenfold every couple years.
Like these crazy quantum levels where they're coming up with quantum computing and they're talking about the ability to put Google glasses on and communicate with the fucking world all at the same time.
This time that we're at right now, it's almost as if We picked the perfect spot for the most action.
Like, the perfect spot for, like, the birth and emergence of technology into the forefront of mankind.
Well, you know, a lot of New Agers, you know, say that the reason that the Earth is so populated right now is because so many different beings from infinity, from the multiverse, are wanting to incarnate right now because it's such an exciting thing that's happening to the planet.
But the conservatism that we think of from like the 1950s, well, that was in response to the fact that Hitler had just come along and World War II came along and our grandparents had to fight the Nazis.
You know, my grandfather worked in a plant that made a part for the atomic bomb.
That was like always the big thing that everybody would brag around the house.
You know, Grandpa makes a part in his factory that is for the atomic bomb.
You know, so the conservatism that I think that came in the 1950s, the fear, the McCarthy era, when everybody's like, you're communists!
Everyone's a communist!
We were worried about Russia doing the same shit we had just seen the Nazis do.
So then the 60s come along.
Boom!
Everybody finds drugs and free love and hippie shit, and the government's like, what the fuck?
Like, stop this!
Like, we're losing all...
The government saw a bunch of soft men running around in sandals, Getting raped by Russians.
The Russians just come over here and just storm our beaches and kick us into the fucking dirt.
Everyone's on acid.
Nobody wants to fight anymore.
We're going to get overtaken by the Russians.
The commies are everywhere.
Did you go to the Communist Manifesto dinner?
I just want to know what it's all about.
Blacklisted!
There was like a wild frenzy to stop the drugs and to stop communism and to stop any hippie bullshit and put more power back to the government.
What you feel is that you're caught up in the idea of this small loop being the big picture.
That this small loop represents your reality and it's so important to you because you have loved ones and because you have car payments and because you have a job that you enjoy.
It's so important to you, this loop.
It allows you to see that this loop is just but a thread and an infinite ball of yarn that goes on forever.
And you look at it and just go, okay.
And it's like, it's going to be okay.
And you're like, okay.
Because you realize that life and the universe and everything we find, everywhere we look, is fractal.
And that it all is infinitely big.
All of it is infinitely small and infinitely big, and it exists everywhere we look.
We never found, well, this is the end.
This is the end of matter.
Here it is.
Yeah, it hits a wall, and then there's nothing behind it.
No, there's no wall, man.
It goes down to subatomic particles that blink in and out of existence.
They're in a superposition, so they're in two different places at one time.
They're moving and still at the same time.
It's fucking madness.
They disappear, and they come back.
We don't know where the fuck they went.
And they can measure it, but they don't know what it means.
And so I feel like it's probably got to be that with just life in general and everything, consciousness in general.
I think we're clinging on to this one particular consciousness and this one particular moment in time because I think the human race Is here to do something.
I think we're a part of a process like bees making honey or ants making an anthill and that all of our wackiness, whether it's ego or sexuality or the need to conquer, whatever these things are, they're all a part of this gigantic calculation to bring us technologically to the next level.
Whether it's because we're worried about the other guys doing it first, whether it's because – and that's how the movement represents itself.
It represents itself through the fear of military conquest by the others, so we have to hit this technological superiority first, sort of like the moon race.
Whatever the fuck it is, when I look at the idea of our inability to grasp what we're doing and our continued movement in the same crazy direction, especially when it comes to war and the lack of respect people have for poor people and the lower classes and the lack of resources that are put into raising them back up, I almost look at it like it's natural.
If you look at every other animal's behavior, whether it's wolves and the alpha beta representatives in the wolf pack and the way they have their social world structured, even if it's cruel, we see bears eat their cubs, we understand that this is nature.
Bears, one of their favorite things to do, grizzlies, they get up earlier before the females do in the spring, and they go and hunt for baby bears.
They go into the dens on purpose to eat the babies.
I drank a big kombucha before Whole Foods started getting the new kombuchas in again.
Do you know that a kombucha tea, like when you get it like GT's kombucha or Synergy, it was like more than one half of 1% alcohol, so you had to be over 21 to buy it.
And you still have to be over 21 to buy it.
But they just got it back on the shelves.
They had a diluted form of it, which is still healthy.
The kombucha is still good, but it's not as good as the true fermented live culture.
You say they're nasty, but they're so good for you, man, and I can't tell you how many people that I've run into at these shows that, like, this one dude in Anaheim this weekend, he said that he lost 200 fucking pounds.
He showed me a picture of him standing next to Dan Henderson, and he was like, where is it, Ben Henderson?
Not sure.
Blurry picture.
I forgot to ask him.
But he was enormous.
And now he's like 200 pounds.
I was like, that is insane.
I go, that's incredible.
He goes, dude, it was just listening to the podcast.
He goes, you guys changed my life.
He goes, I started thinking about things positive and realizing what can I do to affect my quality of life.
So I started drinking kale shakes every day.
I started working out just a little, going on walks.
Or maybe he's got like, maybe he's Asperger's or something like that.
Yeah.
But, so then he goes on Opie and Anthony, and then when he was on Opie and Anthony, he was one of the guys.
He's like, you know, Ope and Anthony are like regular guys.
So you go on that show and Jimmy Norton's there talking about trannies and you're like, I'm one of the guys.
We're all one of the guys.
We're hanging out here, guys.
We're hanging out, guys.
Guys are hanging out.
Then he goes on the Jamie Foxx show and he's black.
And it's not really like he sounds black.
He sounds like an old white guy trying to talk black.
And he's talking black to, you know...
Listen, you want to talk about black dudes who are bad motherfuckers, okay?
Then there's, obviously, in pop culture, in athletics, there's been many, many African Americans that have pulled off some staggering shit.
Jamie Foxx is a motherfucker, okay?
Jamie Foxx won, didn't he win like a Grammy?
He could sing his fucking dick off, okay?
You hear him sing when he did, when he played Ray Charles?
That motherfucker is talented.
That guy can play.
He can play piano.
He sings like a fucking, like, like as good as a professional famous singer could sing.
I mean, the dude's ultra super talented.
He also has his own radio station, okay?
He's got the foxhole.
He's like, yo, it's Jamie Foxx.
He has people along.
He has...
Well, your name is Foxx.
Why not call it the foxhole?
It's his place.
They're hanging out, right?
So, Quentin Tarantino, in the face of hanging around with this Uberman, this guy who's accomplished so much, this This freak success story in the history of the African American race that he morphs into a black guy when he's talking to him.
Well, you know, that was also an issue, a Quentin Tarantino issue, was Roger Avery apparently was the guy who wrote that whole Top Gun gay connection thing that was like Roger Avery's baby, and Quentin Tarantino did it in a movie.
Yeah, he was in a movie, and he like chameleoned Roger Avery and told the whole Top Gun story, it being like sort of a gay love story and what it really represents.
It's really brilliant.
Have you ever seen it?
Pull it up.
Quentin Tarantino explains Top Gun.
Because it's kind of a trip.
Roger Avery was apparently a really brilliant guy.
So Roger Avery, who created that, and also co-wrote Pulp Fiction with Tarantino.
And you can see, like, when you see, like, Killing Zoe, and when you read some of his, he was the one who got in trouble for tweeting when he was in jail.
And so it showed pixels, so pixels were coming at you, but it knew the floor was there, so the pixels would kind of ride the floor and stuff like that.
You remember when we were hanging out with Cliffy B, and it was getting close to the release of one of their games, and they said they would just sleep in the office?
They would just sleep in the office and work for weeks at a time.
Yeah, and the other problem was if you had a warehouse, the real problem would be the only things that you would come in contact with are things that are touching the floor.
You couldn't really come in contact with anything physical in a virtual reality sense unless you're dealing with some sort of recreated neural impulse, right?
I mean, you can't, you either, you would either have to have someone in like, there's a ball, a virtual reality ball thing you can roll and I've seen it.
But you either have to have something like that or you would have to simulate a sense of movement.
I wanted to go back to that aspartame thing, because I'm looking at aspartame, and when you look on the Wikipedia, it doesn't seem like it's that dangerous.
The thing is, man, there is a underneath everything There is, I think, this is what makes me different from a lot of people.
I think some people don't believe this.
I think underneath everything, there's an intelligence that's filled with love.
That's just love.
That thing when you're on DMT and saying, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I think that thing is real.
And I think that that thing, you don't need a leader.
You don't need someone to tell you what that thing's saying to you.
It's your own relationship with that thing and how closely you can approximate what that thing is saying that defines your level of happiness.
In this incarnation and there's there's people like that who falsely represent that thing who don't you've never really experienced it and that's why it seems like bullshit and Yeah, it seems like bullshit to everybody who hasn't experienced it.
And when you run into extremely angry people that just have pitfall after pitfall in their life and miserable experience after miserable experience, you realize that they're just so far separated from the frequency of happiness.
And that sounds like some hippie bullshit.
The frequency of happiness, really?
Hey man, some people just live in an economic downturn where there's a shitty economy where they live and there's no jobs and they were born ugly so they're fucked.
Yeah, that too.
But there's also people that live like that that are happy as fuck.
In that same environment and they have great friends and wonderful experiences with their loved ones and they're not constantly embroiled in bullshit because they've figured out a way to orchestrate their environment.
And that's one thing that we somehow or another are sort of responsible for doing.
The point that you're making there, that's the most important point, is that it's like, sure, you're going to have catastrophes in life.
Everyone has catastrophes.
That doesn't mean you're bad.
That doesn't mean you're wrong or that you're cursed or anything.
All that matters is how you react to that.
And the only way that you're going to react to that in any kind of way that's Not terrified is if you found a way to feel grateful.
This is something Tom Green said about getting cancer.
It's this amazing description of the feeling that comes when you have cancer.
He said it's a combination of terror and gratitude.
You know, and it's like, because once you get it and you get past it, you're like, fuck, I get to live.
It really is this sense of like, my God, what a beautiful thing this is to exist.
The terror thing is never going to go away.
As long as you're living in space, you're going to be terrified.
We're in a fucking void.
Meteors hit us, et cetera, et cetera.
But there is, once you find that real gratitude, not gratitude where people shake their finger at you, you should be grateful.
But when you really plug into that fucking thing, goddammit, man, everything lights up.
It doesn't matter if you're – what the thing is that's happening to you.
You lose your job.
Your wife is cheating on you.
You're cheating on you.
Whatever the thing is, if you plug into that underlying thing, fuck.
It's a beautiful, beautiful place and it's a very subversive idea, the idea that everything is OK and that behind everything is just this field of – Just the happiness frequency.
But there's that stuck feeling and that's the hardest thing to overcome in life when you've started out in a certain direction and you've gotten fairly far in your life but you're really miserable and you have a lot of obligations and you have a lot of expectations and bills and a lot of issues that keep you in this certain shitty environment and people don't know how to manage that and I think that's why one of the most important things to stress Is get off on the right track as quickly as you can
with your life.
And by the right track, I mean whatever the right track is for you.
I don't want to say don't listen to your parents because you might be an idiot and your parents might be dead right.
But you might have an idea that your parents can't wrap their fucking puny brains around too.
You might be talented in one way, shape, or form that your father doesn't want to see his creation go off to be.
And ultimately you are your own person.
You really...
There's so many people that have lived their life for other people and they're miserable.
I've never met an ecstatic son of the owner of a business who runs the business with his father.
I always see a man who probably would rather have carved his own path in life and is just caught up in the wake of another man because that other man raised him.
But you see a guy who runs his own joint and they're fucking happy and they have zest and Whatever they're doing, whether they run a pizza place.
I've met guys.
There's a deli that I go to all the time in Canoga Park, Cabaretta's.
Dave, nicest fucking guy in the world.
He's always smiling, laughing.
The people there are happy.
It's his joint, you know what I mean?
It could be anything.
It could be a restaurant.
It could be a fucking Starbucks that's just hooked up right.
It's your spot.
People like going there.
It's like a little spot where people can...
Have their own little positive, happy energy.
As long as that's what you want to do.
If you want to really run a Starbucks or run a coffee shop or run a fucking jazz studio, who gives a shit?
Whatever the fuck you're drawn to, you've got to do that, man.
That's so fucking important.
And people with their...
There are escape clauses and fucking parachute plans and, well, I can always pull out if this doesn't work and I gotta back up here and then I gotta back up there.
Man, you better not back up too much, but you gotta travel light.
You gotta travel light psychically.
You have to have very, very few options.
If you really want to make whatever the fuck it is happen, you have to have very few options.
Which is the thing that you wanted to do, you were good at.
You wanted to be a comedian, you were funny.
You were creative, you were original.
So that was the most important thing and the most difficult thing to get.
I was like, this other stuff is what's holding you back.
What you need to be doing is just focusing on this thing because you're awesome at it.
All you have to do is just do it.
The ability to do it correctly, once achieved, doesn't really go away unless you lose the fucking plot.
You lose the frequency in life.
If you're a comic, I expect to get better.
I feel like I've had better sets these last couple of months than I've ever had in my life.
I've had better moments.
I think my moments are better.
I think new bits are coming together in a better way.
I'm super, super pleased with things.
Because I'm concentrating on it, because I've worked at it for a couple of decades.
And I think that as long as you recognize that that's what happens, that as long as you live your life the way we were talking earlier, the right way, without too much bullshit and distractions, Too many negative karmic moments that flood you with regret and fuck with your creativity.
That's one of the most important things about being creative.
One of the most important things for me is being nice.
When I'm like as nice to as many people as I can and I'm as easy-going as possible and as forgiving as possible, I am the most happy.
I'm my most happiest when I'm dealing with people and like being forgiving and being friendly.
And then I have less shit on my mind And then I can tune in to creativity.
Because I don't understand exactly where my creativity comes from.
But in a lifetime of trying to figure out what frequency I tune into when I do my best.
Whether it's drawing, or whether it's writing, or anything creative.
For me, I have to have all these ducks in a row.
And the big duck is my own psychic...
I don't want to say psychic, but my own consciousness, my appraisal of my own consciousness.
How am I interacting with this world that I'm finding myself in?
Am I out of control?
Am I fucking too much gas, not enough brakes?
Am I too much brakes, not enough gas?
Am I holding myself back?
Am I limiting myself with my diet?
Am I limiting myself with my actions?
Am I limiting myself with my...
What am I doing?
Is everything cool?
Okay.
Now, if everything is cool, then I can go to work.
But if everything's not cool, I have to figure out what the fuck's not cool and fix that.
And if I don't fix that, it'll be bumpy.
The whole thing will be me trying to duct tape this fucking ship together while it reenters orbit and fucking keep everything from falling apart.
But as long as you give yourself an honest assessment of how you're thinking and how you're interacting with the world, That's where it gets fucking hard to do.
It's hard to take that first step and give yourself an honest look at yourself.
And then once you do that, then it has to sort of become an ethic.
And you gotta welcome it when other people do it, too.
Even haters.
When haters point something out about you that's correct, You know, you gotta, like, accept that.
Like, yeah, sometimes they get you.
Sometimes they're right.
You know, you did something douchey, or you were a little weird there, or you could have reacted a different way.
And it doesn't even necessarily mean you're meant to.
Like, sometimes you just, you pick door number two, and it's like, what am I even saying this for?
Like, you start saying something, it doesn't even represent necessarily how you feel.
It's just...
A possibility of how to react, and all of a sudden you're off to the races.
And then you're like, nah, but you know, how many times have we said that in the conversation?
Well, maybe that doesn't make sense.
Fuck it.
You know, it's like you don't even know sometimes when you're saying things.
But when someone calls you out on that, it's probably good for you.
It's not good for them, because a lot of times haters get fucking completely worked.
I hope you suck to death on a million dicks and you drown in a world of semen and AIDS. These are the people that get completely ridiculous with their hate.
And almost all of them are losers.
That's a real problem.
When you look at what a hater is, there's no successful haters.
There's no, like, Bill Clinton's not fucking commenting on YouTube videos, fucking queer, you know?
No one who actually accomplished anything is a hater, but being a hater is important for people that are trying to accomplish things.
Having critics and hate can actually help you and fuel you and make you aware of the broad spectrum of human behavior, especially in a void of love and absence of the correct.
You don't lash out like that unless you are in an absence.
Unless you have an absence of love An absence of personal pride and accomplishment.
An absence of feeling good.
Like you don't feel good so you lash out.
Because if you wanted to, you could find something every day that you hated and just fill your day with hate.
You're choosing to try to reach out and affect someone in a negative way instead of concentrating on your own life.
You have made it more important to do that than anything else you were doing right then because you chose it.
You chose it.
As you're writing those things, you chose it above any self-improvement you were doing, any creative work you were doing, any business work you were doing, any personal emails you got to get out.
No, no, no.
You chose to call someone a terrible name on Twitter.
You chose to say, I hope this dumb cunt drowns in a river of AIDS. You decided to put that on Twitter.
If it's funny, you're not going to have 50. You know what I mean?
If it's funny, you want to have 50. But it's like, when you go and look, and not only has the person just insulted you, there's an insult to like, weird, to fucking, yeah, just like Anderson Cooper.
I wonder because I would think that if there's a guy who's like really violent and you're a woman, I would think just the fact that that guy knows who you are, you can't defend yourself if you ever ran into him.
Chris Brown?
Yes, absolutely.
You don't think if Chris Brown, if she said a bunch of mean shit about him and he saw her somewhere, he might palm her face or push her out of his face.
In her mind, she has to realize that if she ran into that guy and no one was there to protect her and there was no security cameras, there was no witnesses, he might do something to her.
That's reality, okay?
And that feeling is why it's dangerous.
That feeling is what...
I mean, that has to be in her head.
You start fucking with a guy like that that beat up his girlfriend, In her head, she has to know that if her husband isn't there or some...
Maybe if her husband isn't there, I don't know who her husband is.
Her husband might be kind of a pussy.
He might fold under pressure.
I mean, you might run into a situation where it's Chris Brown and you.
Well, you're not arguing with him on Twitter where you're a woman and he wants to kick your ass.
I'm not saying he wanted to kick her ass, but I'm saying if you know a man has already beat up a woman and then she's now locked in online in this verbal insult battle back and forth.
He's saying he's going to fart in her mouth.
He's saying he's going to jerk off on her and fart in her mouth and stuff like crazy shit.
To be a chick, that's got to be a little fucking weird.
Yeah, Patrick Carney did a thing where he said something like, Justin Bieber doesn't deserve an Emmy or something along those lines, and the Bieber fans went after him.
So he just starts retweeting all of their stuff with hilarious answers.
Gretchen Malan suffers from persistent genital arousal disorder, a rare condition that makes her physically but not psychologically aroused all the time.
Doctors do not agree on what causes it, but they do agree on how debilitating it can be.
Gretchen, who lives in Spring Hill, says she can't work.
She has tried to get disability income twice and failed each time.
A group of people hanging out that enjoy each other's company and that are all sort of like-minded and, you know, honest about life and sort of trying to get through it together.