Feb. 26, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:27:10
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| It's one of the few things I get nervous about. | ||
| Not nervous, but like, oh, what do I do here? | ||
| The start of every podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| It's like, all right. | ||
| Once we get off to the races, we're all good. | ||
| Turn off your volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think I did. | |
| That should be the second thing that you think of. | ||
| You said it, and right when you said it, the volume came on. | ||
| I'm pathetic. | ||
| It's not even funny anymore. | ||
| It's just sadness. | ||
| This podcast is brought to you by Hover. | ||
| If you go to hover.com forward slash Rogan, you can get 10% off your domain name registrations, plus a lot of stuff Hover provides for free, like whoisprivacy.com. | ||
| What Hover is is a company that's owned by the same folks that own Ting and with the same sort of ethics behind them. | ||
| They just want to put together a cool website where you can buy a domain name fairly easily and do it all ethically and have it set up real simple, easy, intuitive. | ||
| I just used it the other day to register some websites. | ||
| I'm going to go into foreign business, son. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| Yeah, not really. | ||
| No. | ||
| What I'm going to do is claymation porn. | ||
| I'm going to make little fake things. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's not what the website's for. | ||
| I just had an idea. | ||
| But anyway, it was easy to do. | ||
| Super easy. | ||
| Just go and register it. | ||
| And as I said, if you go to Hover.com forward slash Rogan, you can save yourself 10% off. | ||
| Sweet baby Jesus. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I looked up Duncanlovesbabies.com, which is available, and Duncan does love babies. | ||
| I love those little sweeties. | ||
| But then, like, it gives you, like, the other available domains that you can buy through Hover, and it just goes from Duncanlovesbabies.net to Chicago babies. | ||
| But Chicago babies... | ||
| It's $488. | ||
| Listen, just don't connect the dots here. | ||
| Let's just move on. | ||
| Do you have a baby in Chicago, don't you? | ||
| Yeah, forget it. | ||
| Just move on. | ||
| You've been having babies? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I love them. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Just because you love them doesn't mean you have to have them. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Go to hover.com forward slash Joe, as I said. | ||
| Is that what I said? | ||
| Is that even what I said? | ||
| What was the exact wording of it? | ||
| Hover.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| And you get 10% off your domain name registration. | ||
| So that's hover.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| We are also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. I've done this commercial a fucking billion times. | ||
| What Onnit is, is a company that sells supplements that increase your performance, whether it's Cognitively, whether it's physically, there's Shroom Tech Sport, which is an amazing supplement that we put together. | ||
| It's from the Cordyceps mushroom, and the idea behind it is there's certain plants, like Cordyceps mushroom being an excellent one, but it's not really a plant, because Cordyceps mushroom is a crazy kind of fungus. | ||
| It's like a weird... | ||
| It's sort of a living thing. | ||
| Funguses are, I believe, I don't want to speak out of school, but I believe they're closer to humans than they are plants. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, this Cordyceps mushroom stuff, they first experimented it apparently in high-altitude herding communities. | ||
| They found that the cows were more active after they ate these mushrooms. | ||
| And so they kind of put it together. | ||
| And the way it's grown, it's grown like on caterpillars or some shit. | ||
| It's like this really freaky fucking process to create. | ||
| But what it is, is it's an amazing endurance supplement. | ||
| It's fantastic stuff. | ||
| It's like a really obvious effect if you have a brutal workout. | ||
| If you're going to go do a spin class, Duncan, and get ferocious to some 80s music. | ||
| You know, some fucking Pat Benatar, and you're like, yeah! | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's just an excellent supplement for endurance. | ||
| So anybody who's doing jiu-jitsu, if you're doing kettlebells, anything along those lines. | ||
| It's got a lot of B12 in it as well. | ||
| Real noticeable effect. | ||
| Alpha brain is another... | ||
| A supplement that we have that I swear by. | ||
| I've been taking this shit forever. | ||
| But I've been taking nootropics forever, too. | ||
| I just think it only makes sense to me that if it's possible, as long as I'm not starving, as long as I have money to buy supplements, and if you don't, you know, spend your money on healthy food. | ||
| But if you have the money, I would always think that... | ||
| What is, like, really important? | ||
| Speed. | ||
| Speed. | ||
| What is really important? | ||
| One of the things that's really important to me is the way my brain functions. | ||
| Because I know it's variable. | ||
| I know there's a big difference between the way I am when I'm hungover, there's a big difference between the way I am when I'm jet-lagged, and when I'm in the groove, when I feel great, and my words are flowing, and conversations are going smoothly, and you're in the middle. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck causes that, okay? | ||
| I think it's a bunch of things. | ||
| I think it's rest, but I also think it's health, and I also think it's nutrition. | ||
| And my experience started off with Bill Romanowski stuff. | ||
| It's called Neuro One. | ||
| And he created that because he got a bunch of concussions from playing football, famous football player. | ||
| And he was fighting against it. | ||
| And one of the things he did is try to improve the quality of his brain, improve the functioning of his mind. | ||
| So he started experimenting with various nutrients to do that. | ||
| And that's sort of where AlphaBrain took it from there. | ||
| We just tried to put together the best combination of what we know so far about these things. | ||
| And if you're not interested in it, That's cool. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| If you are interested in it, you can go and use the code name ROGAN. You can save 10% off any of the supplements. | ||
| This is all fairly controversial stuff with some people, and that's one of the reasons why Onnit has a money-back guarantee 100%. | ||
| The first order of 30 pills, within the first 90 days, you have 100% money-back guarantee. | ||
| You don't even have to return the product. | ||
| Just say, this sucks. | ||
| Give me my money back. | ||
| It's because no one's trying to rip you off. | ||
| We're just trying to sell you the best shit. | ||
| It's not a massive difference. | ||
| It's a subtle difference, but I believe it's a real difference. | ||
| I think it improves the quality of my thinking. | ||
| It sounds crazy, but if you just Google nootropic, N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C, you will see all the different studies and tests that have been done on it and shown increases in memory and It's really fascinating stuff and very controversial, as I said. | ||
| That's a fake butt. | ||
| That's a real butt. | ||
| That's Whitney. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, that's real. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, she's in shape. | ||
| She's on it. | ||
| Oh, forgive me. | ||
| Oh, forgive me. | ||
| You know, I've talked about this supplement company so many times with so many podcasts, it almost seems ridiculous, but it's just something I believe in. | ||
| I believe in the ethics of the company. | ||
| I believe in the message. | ||
| I believe in trying to give people shit that makes your body work better. | ||
| I'm huge on that. | ||
| I think it's super important. | ||
| So I'm psyched to be working with them. | ||
| And again, use the code name ROGAN. Save 10% off any of the supplements. | ||
| Is this Dr. Laser or who's this guy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Oh, that's Heath Haring. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, Heath Haring is a former UFC fighter. | ||
| Former Pride fighter. | ||
| Legend. | ||
| MMA legend. | ||
| I think he's a pro poker player now. | ||
| Crazy, crazy dude. | ||
| Wild man. | ||
| Look, there's an asteroid. | ||
| So it doesn't matter because everyone's going to die from this asteroid. | ||
| I think Ana is just saying, live it to the hill, bitch. | ||
| I don't know what this is. | ||
| No, that's a dream. | ||
| That's just a dope. | ||
| That's an alpha brain-induced dream. | ||
| That sounds scary as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't make sense. | ||
| Well, look, the whole company is very cool. | ||
| It's a very cool company. | ||
| And one of the cool things about it is... | ||
| Aubrey is a young dude. | ||
| He's a very enthusiastic guy. | ||
| And occasionally they do things that are just a little bit silly. | ||
| But it's not with bad intentions. | ||
| He's just all about going after it and getting it. | ||
| When you talk about going after it and getting it, though, there's a certain douchiness that just sort of comes off when you talk about anything that pumps up your masculinity. | ||
| Anything that makes you more vibrant as a man. | ||
| It's borderline really douchey. | ||
| And one of the things that was in, the guy that my message board picked up, was it said in this new supplement, T Plus, a testosterone supplement, it said something about it increasing your swagger. | ||
| See, yes! | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| First of all, I read it and I went, no. | ||
| I was just like, no, please. | ||
| They didn't really write swagger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it was just, for a lot of young dudes... | |
| That's a cool thing to say. | ||
| Like, yeah, you know, it's just my fucking swagger, everything. | ||
| I mean, are you being honest? | ||
| What is swagger? | ||
| Isn't that important? | ||
| Isn't it important to have like a sense of invigoration? | ||
| It's just such a douchey word, unfortunately. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not bad to have a swagger. | ||
| It's definitely bad to use the word. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, if it's like a genuine swagger. | ||
| It's like the name that should not be said. | ||
| Do you know, I mean, what is that when you feel great, when your life is fucking rolling around, perfect, just on the perfect frequency, and you have that feeling like you're just walking. | ||
| It's not swagger. | ||
| It is kind of a swagger, but swagger is too gross a word, so we have to have another word for it. | ||
| What is that feeling, that feeling like when you're at your best? | ||
| Like, wow, I'm about as happy as I think I've ever been. | ||
| Being in the zone. | ||
| But what is that? | ||
| Harm not being harmed. | ||
| Whatever it is, you can't call it swagger. | ||
| No. | ||
| So thank you, Rogan Board, for pointing that out. | ||
| You know who would know that? | ||
| The people that make Axe body spray would probably have a good answer with that question. | ||
| I don't think they would. | ||
| Even they would be perplexed. | ||
| The other thing that the Rogan Board pointed out was the T-plus supplement has an ad. | ||
| Where it's a dude who's this super power-lifter guy. | ||
| He's like one of the world champion power-lifter guys. | ||
| He's a huge, enormous guy. | ||
| And the end of the ad was him at a bar with two different girls. | ||
| And they're like this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| He's stretching. | ||
| No, he's kissing it. | ||
| He made that noise. | ||
| He's not licking his arm. | ||
| Go back and look at this video every time we watch it. | ||
| He just found out he had an arm. | ||
| He's stretching. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this thing? | |
| You guys don't understand what you're talking about. | ||
| He's about to lift 8,000 fucking million pounds. | ||
| The guy's enormous. | ||
| But the commercial is, you know, I mean, the dude's a legit power lifter. | ||
| The idea is that it's... | ||
| Supplement to increase your body's production of testosterone, but at the end of it, it was him with two little hotties at a bar, and it was like, no! | ||
| Look at that, he's just grinding cocaine up. | ||
| That's alpha brain. | ||
| That's powder, son. | ||
| That's how they make on it. | ||
| That's an enormous person. | ||
| Damn, look at that swag. | ||
| Do you think he's got swag, for real? | ||
| He's swaggering. | ||
| Would you not even say he's got swag, would you just say, swag? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I'd run from that, dude, honestly, if I saw that. | ||
| Cue the music, man. | ||
| Use a code named Rogan to go fuck yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan experience. | |
| We love you. | ||
| Duncan Trussell is here, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Show Rogan podcast by night. | |
| All day. | ||
| Powerful Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| You're back, man. | ||
| I'm back. | ||
| Back. | ||
| Back from the precipice. | ||
| Back from the precipice. | ||
| Well, none of us are ever back from the precipice. | ||
| I saw a big sign today. | ||
| It was something about surviving cancer. | ||
| And the lady was smiling and laughing. | ||
| And she was holding a baby or something like that. | ||
| And it says something about surviving cancer. | ||
| And I thought about it. | ||
| I was like, we don't really survive shit, do we? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| There's no surviving. | ||
| I mean we do for a little. | ||
| We put it off for a little. | ||
| You extend the amount of time that you're sentient. | ||
| You extend the amount of time that you have consciousness. | ||
| It's a very funny thing. | ||
| It's like our age starts the moment the matter we're composed of wakes up to an awareness of itself and stops the moment it's not aware of itself anymore. | ||
| But what we are, that's not really our age. | ||
| It's much longer than that and surviving means You've extended the amount of self-awareness by some number of years. | ||
| But it doesn't really... | ||
| Surviving cancer... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| This is something I've been talking about on stage. | ||
| The whole surviving cancer thing is a... | ||
| It's an annoying term. | ||
| Like, now I'm a cancer survivor? | ||
| That's what I am now? | ||
| I don't want to be that. | ||
| There's so many other things I'd like to be represented by than that. | ||
| I mean anyone out there who's fighting cancer right now, by the way, keep up the good fight. | ||
| There's a whole brotherhood that you find out there of people – an ancestorhood of people who are dealing with this shit and it's beautiful. | ||
| So I don't mean to denigrate your struggle that you're going through. | ||
| It's just – I wish there was another word for it than survivor. | ||
| It's such a dire term. | ||
| It's such a dire term. | ||
| It's like you just climbed out of a dragon's mouth or a smoldering car. | ||
| I think there's a real problem whenever you label anything. | ||
| Call people a cancer victim, a cancer survivor, a cancer success in the war on cancer. | ||
| Whenever you automatically categorize it, it falls into this sort of package. | ||
| They want to classify everything, man. | ||
| By the way, it's fine. | ||
| I'm a cancer survivor. | ||
| It's not a term I care for, but fine. | ||
| But what's weird is when people really... | ||
| That becomes their new identity. | ||
| Like what they were before they didn't die from a disease or a thing becomes insignificant to this one little moment of... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think that's where it's weird to me. | ||
| It's like, well, no, you're the sum total of everything you've done, not just some inevitable blip that emerged that you climbed out of or temporarily managed to stop. | ||
| Why are you wearing a pink ribbon then? | ||
| How do you know what's tied around my cock? | ||
| It's a cock ring. | ||
| Who's the first sick fuck that figured out a cock ring? | ||
| I gotta figure out how to get more blood in my dick. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| How do I do this? | ||
| Let me just clamp this bitch down. | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever tried one? | ||
| It seems like it might be a good idea. | ||
| I've done the finger cock ring, though. | ||
| When you're a little too drunk and you can't quite get it hard, so you squeeze the base of it to keep a semi going. | ||
| I didn't know about that trick. | ||
| I didn't know that either. | ||
| How do you not know? | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
| How do you not know? | ||
| How do you not know about this? | ||
| Clamp your dick! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| You don't know about this, don't you? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah, you never... | ||
| That was one of my bits. | ||
| Way back in the day. | ||
| I'm like Hugh Hefner or something like that. | ||
| Clamping the base of your cock? | ||
| Yeah, I forget. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was Hugh Hefner. | ||
| Yeah, it was like, Hugh Hefner had said in this magazine, like they were asking him, like, hey, you know, you date like these 20-year-old girls. | ||
| What do they feel? | ||
| How do they feel about dating you? | ||
| And he said, well, they feel very lucky. | ||
| This has always been a dream for them. | ||
| And then, you know, I had this whole lucky, lucky living dream. | ||
| Oh, squeeze the base of it. | ||
| I've got a semi going. | ||
| Lucky girl. | ||
| That's three-quarter cock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Lucky to squeeze the base of it to keep a semi going as old as time. | ||
| So some dude figured out how to do it with like a rope. | ||
| There's this girl that hangs out at the Comedy Store and her mom was a famous Playboy person that dated Hugh Hefner. | ||
| And she was saying that one time she had those balls inside of her, those bang-wang balls or whatever they're called. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then he went down on her and one came out and choked him and she had to like save his life. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You fucking freaks. | ||
| That's the universe trying to kill you. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Eating fucking balls that shoot out of your chick's snatch. | ||
| Big giant lead shot. | ||
| That's a funny way to die. | ||
| Yeah, what is that about? | ||
| Do you carry the weights in your pussy so it makes you clamp down and that's what keeps your pussy tight? | ||
| Is that the move? | ||
| Yeah, it's like you're constantly tightening your pussy up to control these balls that are inside of you when you walk. | ||
| So it's kind of like a wee fit for your vagina. | ||
| That's fucking bananas. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Chicks have been lifting weights with their pussies. | ||
| It works, too. | ||
| Yeah, there was a woman in Russia, I think it was a Russian woman, who could stick something in her pussy and clamp it down and pick up weight. | ||
| Actually, like a jaw, it would clamp down. | ||
| She would stick a ball on a rope in her pussy and then clamp down and lift weights. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Have you seen these anal trainer tails? | ||
| They're like, what, girls who like anal, they keep them inside of them and they have like a tail, like a hair tail, like a ponytail. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen those. | ||
| Any chick who can lift weights with her pussy has got to be just an unstoppable freak. | ||
| Like, there's no way you're going to satisfy her. | ||
| She's lifting weights with her pussy. | ||
| She is like, she's all about milk and cock. | ||
| That's all she's all about. | ||
| That's her number one thing online. | ||
| And she's so good at it, she can't wait to get a cock in there to shock the guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's probably, and it's probably mostly new cocks. | ||
| You know, because these guys are like, there's no, what's the big, oh Jesus! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And she, it's like a fucking fist grabbing a hole in her dick. | |
| I mean, she can pick up weights with her pussy. | ||
| It's probably way stronger than her hand because she's developed it in some crazy way. | ||
| It's hilarious the way people spend time on this planet. | ||
| It's amazing that some people are just like, I'm going to make my pussy strong in this incarnation. | ||
| What if it was amazing, though? | ||
| What if it made a huge difference? | ||
| Oh, I don't think there's a... | ||
| Like, girls do Kegels. | ||
| I'm not saying there's better or worse. | ||
| I'm just saying it's a funny thing. | ||
| Like, you know, like, if you came out of a spaceship on some alien planet and you're like, alright, while I'm on this planet, I'm going to make it so my vaginal muscles are fucking strong! | ||
| Well, if you enjoy sex, though, and you enjoy pleasure, it really is possible that you can make the vaginal muscles stronger. | ||
| I think you can. | ||
| But why wouldn't you do that? | ||
| I would do that if I was a chick. | ||
| Why wouldn't you want to have like a super pussy? | ||
| I deal with dick pills. | ||
| You deal with dick pills. | ||
| We all deal with dick pills. | ||
| I am not leveling judgment on these wonderful women who are making their vaginas strong and I encourage it. | ||
| I think you should do it if you're drawn towards that. | ||
| I just think it's a curious thing the way people spend their time. | ||
| That's certainly of the ways people spend their time. | ||
| That is a fascinating way. | ||
| It's also fascinating, the idea of like a Viagra or something along those lines, like a pill that makes your dick hard. | ||
| And using zinc. | ||
| What if there was like exercise that you could do that could make your dick bigger and harder? | ||
| Like your dick, you get bicep muscles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Like you could grow your dick the way a dude grows his chest muscles. | ||
| Just steady workouts. | ||
| Gyms would be disgusting. | ||
| Did you see the video I posted about the Indian guy, the sadhu that wraps his cock up in a stick and stretches it out? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's on my Twitter. | ||
| Find it on my Twitter and pull it up. | ||
| I think we can even show it on Ustream because you don't really see it. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| It's sort of tucked away. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Please Ustream, don't take us down. | ||
| Please YouTube, don't take us down. | ||
| Oh yeah, Ustream won't let you show this? | ||
| This is amazing, this guy. | ||
| Yeah, if there's nudity in it, we can't show it. | ||
| Oh, you can show it. | ||
| Just show it. | ||
| It's like tribal nudity. | ||
| Tribal nudity! | ||
| That's like National Geographic nudity. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| We can do it. | ||
| What'll happen? | ||
| I don't even want to say what, because... | ||
| Could you go to jail? | ||
| I'm going to turn off the mic's voice. | ||
| - Okay, hold on. - It happened to me already a few times. | ||
| Why don't you just describe it in a very picturesque way? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| I just had it happen. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Is there a way you can stick a little bouncing ball over his cock and balls? | ||
| Uh, maybe. | ||
| Take a look at it yourself. | ||
| I just go to your Twitter page. | ||
| Yeah, okay, just go to my Twitter page. | ||
| I tweet, I'm a chatty bitch. | ||
| I tweet it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're gonna lose a lot. | ||
| I mean, if you do, like, the dick pills and use the, like, ZMA like I've been doing, I think... | ||
| I do not do those crazy... | ||
| If I was gonna do a dick pill, I would get the real chemical. | ||
| I think you're taking a crazy gamble with these fucking 7-Eleven drugstores. | ||
| I know, I'm reviewing them, and I've gotten to the point where, like, I realize 7-Eleven... | ||
| It takes the safe route. | ||
| Like, their products are a little bit weaker and not safe. | ||
| But you go to some of these, like, miscellaneous gas stations that don't give a shit, there's, like, these things called, like, ML2, like, good for two weeks. | ||
| And you're like, how is that even possible? | ||
| And then so you take it, and, like, on the cover, it's just, like, a skull and a boob or something. | ||
| Well, the way they're getting away with it, as Aubrey told us, was that they're taking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's in that? | |
| They're taking giant amounts of generic Cialis and generic Viagra and like those chemicals are not that expensive and you can get those chemicals and if you sell it in like little single serving forms at a gas station, it's actually like profitable. | ||
| So these crazy fucks are just selling Viagra. | ||
| I mean it's Cialis, Viagra. | ||
| I should go grab the one that's in my car and just show you. | ||
| How ridiculous this one is. | ||
| You also should really listen to what Tim Ferriss said. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| Tim Ferriss, who's a brilliant guy, has a great quote. | ||
| And the quote is, he doesn't believe there's a biological free lunch. | ||
| He's like, anything that's doing that has that positive an impact in one direction will have, most likely, an equally positive reaction in another direction. | ||
| It's very possible that it could cause real issues. | ||
| You're talking about something super potent. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that weird? | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| That's a fascinating thing that one thing, there's always a weird trade-off or whatever it is. | ||
| But I mean, what could it be that your dick doesn't work without that stuff? | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| I think with dick pills, it's better to burn out than to fade away. | ||
|
unidentified
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Rise up, gather round, rock this place to the ground. | |
| Bye, round Yeah, dude, you just went Def Leppard on us. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, well, you might have a good point. | ||
| It depends on, you know, would you rather have... | ||
| I don't do it every day. | ||
| ...20 years of life left with boners or 30 years of life with basically... | ||
| You start off with a three-quarter chubby this year. | ||
| I only do it... | ||
| Half a chubby next year, but it shuts off within five or six years. | ||
| And then basically the rest of your life, you just walk around. | ||
| I only do it when I go to strip clubs, for the most part, unless I know that there's a guaranteed good lineup of sex that night. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, as long as you're not abusing it, Brian. | ||
| I just don't know if that stuff's safe. | ||
| I mean, what is a... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What's the studies on taking that? | ||
| That stuff you gave me, Brian, those boner pills? | ||
| Those things are magic. | ||
| Dudes are not supposed to take them if they're on nitrates. | ||
| Is that correct? | ||
| Like men who have real serious heart issues, I believe? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you have a very serious heart issue, you also shouldn't be fucking like a 12-year-old. | ||
| And these things make your... | ||
| Or you should. | ||
| Well, it depends on what... | ||
| What a way to go. | ||
| That's the way to go. | ||
| It's a great way to go. | ||
| It's a great way to go. | ||
| But those pills you gave me... | ||
| Hot Rods 5,000s? | ||
|
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Yes. | |
| Those fucking things, those give you like, like, first time you see porn when you're a teen. | ||
| Terminal boners. | ||
| Terminal, like, insane Hiroshima boners. | ||
| You know why, also, why it's sold where it's sold? | ||
| Because it's sold for gay people to go clubbing. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| But, I mean, a straight guy's gonna take advantage of that. | ||
| All that boner. | ||
| Yeah, and the... | ||
| And the fucking thing, man, it says on it, I researched this stuff, it says, and this made me think that Aubrey's Cialis theory was totally dead on, because on the website, it says that the ingredient is crushed up ants. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Ant boners. | ||
| But that's something someone lying says. | ||
| He's just like, say anything, nobody fucking cares. | ||
| If they have grave boners, they don't care what it comes from, you could say it. | ||
| Crushed up ants. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
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That's exactly what they would say if they were totally bullshitting you. | |
| What is it? | ||
| It's bugs. | ||
| Crushed up ants. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what it is. | ||
| It makes your dick hard, son. | ||
| What's with the questions? | ||
| I'm trying to sell some illegal shit. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, does the Food and Drug Administration ever shake loose a tablet and there's not an ant in this fucking thing? | ||
| Do they shake loose tablets? | ||
| And then, by the way, it might be possible that there's a toxin in certain ants that could give you a hard-on because they know that spider has it. | ||
|
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Sure. | |
| There's that spider in Brazil, the walking spider. | ||
| Apparently, it just wanders around the ground. | ||
| And if it stings you, it gives you the most... | ||
| Possibly painful boner. | ||
| Where your dick splits open like a ballpark Frank. | ||
| Like literally. | ||
| Yeah, you're done. | ||
| It's super duper toxic. | ||
| It doesn't just give you this ridiculous boner. | ||
| Most of the time it kills people. | ||
| But if it doesn't kill you, your dick is done. | ||
| Your dick's broken. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Why do we allow that to exist? | ||
| That spider? | ||
| It's a redlining dick bug. | ||
| It just redlines your dick. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| It's like taking an engine deep into the fucking pistons start smoking. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why we allow that, but Jesus Christ, that's a scary fucking animal. | ||
| Insect, rather. | ||
| You dilute it down enough, you know, you mix it with enough stuff, it's perfect. | ||
| Well, that's what they're thinking now. | ||
| Get on it, spider boners! | ||
| They're trying to figure out a way to do it. | ||
| And apparently that's connected to nitric oxide. | ||
| And that nitric oxide, I believe I'm saying it right, is what is in a lot of those NO2 explode, all these different sort of supplements, these pre-workout supplements that get people pumped up. | ||
| Because apparently, Viagra, Cialis, all those things, they're performance enhancing. | ||
| As far as your body's ability to pump blood through itself, it makes you more efficient. | ||
| And it gives you an endurance benefit. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| That's why I do it? | ||
| Yeah, so they're making it... | ||
| I believe it's illegal in the Olympics. | ||
| I think you can't be on... | ||
| I know you can't be on that Provigil. | ||
| That Provigil is illegal in the Olympics. | ||
| They test for that shit now. | ||
| And I believe they test for this as well. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That Pro Vigil is pretty awesome, too. | ||
| You know, I just found this... | ||
| I started looking up, like, my favorite authors to see if they were on speed. | ||
| And, like, the majority of my favorite authors are on speed. | ||
| And that really got me thinking, man. | ||
| That really got me thinking. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Because Pro Vigil, Adderall... | ||
| These are modern... | ||
| This is speed. | ||
| It's speed. | ||
| And forgive me for saying this, man, but my experience with speed and alpha brain... | ||
| Alpha brain is speed. | ||
| Like, you can call it... | ||
| I'm sure it has, like, thought-enhancing things. | ||
| But it's speed. | ||
| When you take... | ||
| That drug, you feel the... | ||
| You feel like Alphabrain makes you feel speedy? | ||
| Low-level Adderall. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I've never done Adderall, but what Alphabrain does for me, it never makes me feel like accelerated. | ||
| It makes me feel like smoother. | ||
| Yeah, it gives me a mild... | ||
| Speed bump. | ||
| Wow, that's interesting. | ||
| Are you doing the old formula or the newer formula? | ||
| The new formula is more conservative because some people were having headaches. | ||
| It was the old formula and it made me feel weird and it did give me weird dreams. | ||
| Oh yeah, the dreams, if you take them right before bed. | ||
| Dreams are weird. | ||
| I don't know how to guarantee a dream. | ||
| People go, I took Alpha Brain, man. | ||
| I'm fucking no dreams. | ||
| You might have. | ||
| You just don't remember them, okay? | ||
| And I don't know why you remember some and why you don't remember. | ||
| I'll go like days and not remember a fucking dream. | ||
| And then I'll do some Alpha Brain or something. | ||
| And somehow or another, I'll catch a dream. | ||
| I'll catch a good one that I remember. | ||
| And then I'll start remembering a bunch of them. | ||
| Dude, I had a fucking alpha brain dream where I was in a garden. | ||
| I was standing in this primordial garden and there was like fucking all these weird like silvery golden apples floating up in the trees. | ||
| And I held this like weird silver mirror underneath it and it made – what the fuck are those? | ||
| Brian, what are you giving me this for? | ||
| Why are you giving me rubbers? | ||
| That's my emergency pack. | ||
| That's actually what they sell now. | ||
| They sell, like, a condom with a guy pill and a girl pill together. | ||
| So you give the girl the pill, and then you take your pill. | ||
| You wait, like, an hour, and it's, like, raging boners and vibrating vaginas. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does the girl pill do? | ||
| The girl I always wish said that it just made her vagina feel, like, really tingly. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I didn't even know there was a girl pill. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Well... | ||
| That's my emergency packs that I keep in my car. | ||
| But the other one's for five days. | ||
|
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This is the one that is a cheap one. | |
| Your dick's going to blow up. | ||
| It's made entirely of wandering spiders. | ||
| Your dick's going to explode. | ||
| Mega Knight and it's a Magnum Con, of course. | ||
| Yeah, of course, because you've got a big giant dick, right? | ||
| No, it's because this pill makes you have a big giant dick. | ||
| But you have a big giant dick anyway. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| It's a pretty decent size. | ||
| No, it's just a little bit of average. | ||
| The girth is what's really good about it. | ||
| Chicks say that's very important. | ||
| You can have a shorter dick as long as you stretch out a little bit more. | ||
| What's the hook also? | ||
| I've always put my boner underneath my belt my whole life. | ||
| Like, so it's like, you know, facing my head, like, straight up. | ||
| So you smash it with your belt? | ||
| So I've been smashing it and, like, bending it towards my face the whole time. | ||
| When you were a child? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I still do it. | ||
| Like, whenever I have a boner, I just put it behind my belt. | ||
| And then sometimes I forget about it too long and it hurts. | ||
| So you're, like, stretching your dick out the way those African ladies do with their neck and those rings? | ||
| Well, it points it towards your own face. | ||
| It makes it bend and grow towards your own face. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| That's an urban myth, son. | ||
| That's just the shape your dick's born with. | ||
| Some people are born with curvy-ass dicks. | ||
| The only thing that it would really do is trauma. | ||
| You can get a broken dick. | ||
| There's a dude named Ray Elby who is an MMA fighter who posted a picture of a bunch of blood and some shit and told a story on the underground. | ||
| A girl got on top and she just landed on his dick and broke his dick and started bleeding. | ||
| It can happen apparently. | ||
| That can give your dick a funky right hook. | ||
| Have you sprained your dick from having- like I sprained my dick recently where it hurt for like three days. | ||
| Owie, don't let crazy bitches get on top. | ||
| You gotta control the situation, son. | ||
| You don't want anybody breaking your dick because they're on ecstasy and they fucking think this is an awesome song. | ||
| Yeah, a girl can do a lot of damage if she slips. | ||
| She fell on it wrong. | ||
| She taints you. | ||
| She taints you right on the crown. | ||
| Right the bone on your dick. | ||
| Especially if she's got some good fucking thigh muscles. | ||
| Maybe she plays volleyball or something. | ||
| Good at jumping. | ||
| Duncan, I was listening to your podcast the other day, and you said that you've only had sex on the road once. | ||
| Like, you don't take advantage of the club. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| I saw a beautiful, crazy girl trying to get Duncan to sleep with her. | ||
| Are you not a horny sex maniac? | ||
| No, no, no, man. | ||
| You know, I get really fucking horny, but I'm like... | ||
| Well, there's two things. | ||
| One, I tend to have a girlfriend, and I'm monogamous, so that's one thing. | ||
| But when that's not happening, then generally there's this – it's like I really get in my head about it. | ||
| And so I think about – I overthink it. | ||
| Like I'm way in my head about everything. | ||
| Like I live in my head most of the time. | ||
| And when you live in – there's good things about living in your head. | ||
| But when it comes to fucking – And jumping into this primal animalistic state that creates the best sexual experience where you just let go and it's more difficult to me, especially out on the fucking road. | ||
| Because I consider the lead up to it and I consider the follow, like after you fuck, You know what I mean? | ||
| And it's like – because porn is the ultimate. | ||
| Because with porn, you jerk off to porn and that's it. | ||
| You don't have to like walk porn to the door. | ||
| You don't have to like have a – like porn, it's done. | ||
| It's not going to call you up. | ||
| Like porn that you've looked at is not going to call you up and be like, I'm fucking pregnant. | ||
|
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Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just done. | ||
| And so you just get this middle thing. | ||
| When you watch porn, you don't see the beginning. | ||
| You don't see what happens right before the porn shoot or, God forbid, 10 years, the girl walking in on her dad fucking a dog or something or getting fingered by her uncle. | ||
| You just see this incredible, beautiful, primal moment of fucking. | ||
| And you don't see afterwards, after the porn shoot. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That weird moment in the car driving back from a porn shoot. | ||
| You know, you wipe a little jizz out of your hair. | ||
| You know, that whole thing, you just get that one burst, right? | ||
| So on the road, it's like fucking on the road, it seems like there's a lot of pitfalls there and a lot of weird dangers. | ||
| It's a lot more than just like, you know, what would be in a 70s movie. | ||
| But like I said, I think too much. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm clearly overthinking it. | ||
| Satanists are all about doing that stuff. | ||
| You know, I had a friend who was a Satanist and he said that in life, and I remember it was really, it's really rough when a Satanist says something that seems like absolutely true. | ||
| But he's like, you know, this is coming from a guy with Lucifer tattooed on his chest. | ||
| But he said, you know, in life. | ||
| He said, hell, hell is not some place where you burn forever. | ||
| Hell is that moment that you're dying. | ||
| That moment when you're at your deathbed or you're in the car, you're sitting in the car, wherever the fuck you are. | ||
| You're dying and your mind goes back and thinks about all those opportunities you had to experience life to the fullest. | ||
| All those chances you had to dive into life and suck the marrow out of life and you did not have fear. | ||
| That's hell. | ||
| Now, that was coming from... | ||
| No, hell's way worse than that. | ||
| Because that, you could just jerk off and take a nap if that's what your life is. | ||
| That's not that bad. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Being disappointed in life is not as bad as being tortured by Mongols. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| Well, I mean, he was saying hell doesn't exist. | ||
| You know, the whole Christian idea of hell is nonsense. | ||
| That the only real hell, since there is no hell, absolutely, if there was obviously, if there was a real Christian hell where demons fly down and put their balls in your mouth and like slice you into bits every five minutes. | ||
| Wouldn't you be surprised if there actually was? | ||
|
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A hell? | |
| How fucked up would that be? | ||
| If there was a hell? | ||
| If hell was real. | ||
| I mean think about how fucking stupid you would feel. | ||
| If you were actually, like, being confronted by demons, they were flaying your eternal soul, they'd be like, motherfucker, I can't believe it! | ||
| They warned me! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Can you imagine how crazy it would be if you got down there and there was a devil? | ||
| Some dude, he's got goat horns, like, ha ha ha! | ||
|
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You did not believe! | |
| Now you suffer! | ||
| They just start ripping you apart piece by piece over and over again and they put you back together again for eternity. | ||
| Well, see, this is the funny thing about hell, man. | ||
| When you want to really get into the hell talk or the hell trip. | ||
| I know people who've had hell trips. | ||
| You've probably never had the hell trip. | ||
| Like they bad tripped and felt like they were in hell? | ||
| Where you start thinking like... | ||
| I mean, because look, when we're talking about hell, we're talking about a torture chamber created by... | ||
| Obviously, I do not believe this, but if we're talking about hell, it's a torture chamber created by the creator of the known universe. | ||
| So it is the most advanced torture chamber that could possibly exist because it's created by the most advanced being. | ||
| Psychotic in this case, but the most advanced being. | ||
| So in a real torture chamber, your means of torture are not going to be so obvious. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Burning fire and it burns your skin. | ||
| The first thing you'd want people to think is that they're not in a torture chamber. | ||
| You'd want them to think that there's some hope, some hope for peace. | ||
| As long as they were hoping for peace and thinking that there was going to be some moment of tranquility, it would increase their levels of disappointment to the maximum. | ||
| So that's the hell trip. | ||
| The hell trip is where you start thinking like, oh shit, this is it. | ||
| This is hell. | ||
| We've been – this is the ultimate torture device devised by some maniacal, insane god that everyone has popped into and instead of like remembering where they're at, they're just like, oh no, this is totally normal. | ||
| I got to go through traffic in the morning. | ||
| Got to go through three-hour commutes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's hell. | ||
| You don't even know you're there. | ||
| You don't even know you're there. | ||
| Maybe slowly you start – I don't think that by the way. | ||
| The opposite works too. | ||
| You can also think that this is heaven and you're just too dumb to see it. | ||
| You get to – you can pick with those two different like mythological constructs. | ||
| Or just abandon those ideas and just deal with the present because it's the only thing you really know. | ||
| And we do know that when you live in hell, like when we use that, oh, that guy lives in hell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a series of shitty choices, a bad circumstance, bad luck, a combination of all the above. | ||
| And most of the time when you use that term, a guy lives in hell, you're talking about a guy who's under someone's thumb. | ||
| Whether it's whether he works for some crazy company, you know, that, you know, demands him working 16 hours a day and his weekends. | ||
| And, you know, there's a lot of guys that live in hell that are like executives at studios and stuff like that. | ||
| Like those are crazy ass jobs, you know, working in, you know, I mean, I'm sure like stock market along those lines, like anything financial, there's probably a lot of people that are forced to work. | ||
| Crazy fucking hours, right? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And if you have real restrictive work conditions, you have to wear a suit and tie, you have to fucking be very formal around the office, nobody can fuck around, nobody can relax. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Most of your day is just buttoned up and locked down. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's definitely one version of when you hear people say that they're in hell. | ||
| But still, you know, there's this idea. | ||
| You know, Krishnamurti? | ||
| You ever heard of Krishnamurti? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jay Krishnamurti? | ||
|
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Who is that? | |
| He's this philosopher, the Indian philosopher, who was like this kid who was discovered by the theosophists and the theosophists were this strange spiritual group. | ||
| I don't know a lot about them but they – Madame Blatavsky was the woman's name. | ||
| But they spotted this Indian kid at the beach and one of them was like his aura is amazing or something and they sort of took this kid in and groomed this child and he eventually became this brilliant philosopher and as part of his like evolution turned his back on theosophy and said it's – that's not – it's more – he got really into the idea of being in the moment. | ||
| And I actually, on one of my podcasts, I put an awesome sound clip of him talking about how the past, you carry the past with you. | ||
| The past is in you right now. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| There's no past. | ||
| There's just your encoded memories of things that have happened. | ||
| And the future is something you create through everything that you do, but there's no future either. | ||
| It's like you're this packet, like a DNA packet, the way their DNA sort of spawns a specific type of cell. | ||
| What you do with what you carry around with you in every single moment spawns your reality around you, which is why people who, you know, you always will run into people like, I don't know why this always happens to me. | ||
| I always get dumped. | ||
| I just don't understand it. | ||
| I always get dumped or I always end up in this predicament or that predicament. | ||
| Well, the reason is you're like a caterpillar. | ||
| Or a silkworm and you're spinning your reality with every action that you do because that's all there is. | ||
| It's just this moment. | ||
| So you end up with a shit boss and you've ended up there just because you've been deluded by your perception of time. | ||
| You know, that's the fucking trick. | ||
| Because people listening to this have a shit boss, shit wife, shit girlfriend, shit husband, shit whatever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| In this awesome sound clip, J. Krishnamurti says, the only thing that you can do is right now at this moment make a radical psychological change in your apprehension of the universe. | ||
| At this moment. | ||
| At this moment, we're the shit boss. | ||
| With whatever. | ||
| It takes this radical, like, you have to break free of everything you've been taught. | ||
| Because we've all been taught to think that there's a future. | ||
| And we've all been taught to think there's a past. | ||
| There's also an issue that people have that this narrative has been sort of spelled out for us by our parents. | ||
| And then as we get old enough, when we get into our 20s or in our 30s, we really understand it. | ||
| We're like, oh my god, they were just clueless folks, just like we are. | ||
| Like, the idea that anybody had a handle on how to do this right. | ||
| And then you just look at the fact that these people, I mean, your parents and my parents, Are from a generation where they got to our age before there was an internet. | ||
| I mean, they're literally, they're different human beings. | ||
| It's a completely different style of human being. | ||
| It's human being one, we're human being two. | ||
| And this human being three that are being born right now that will only know insane levels of technological proficiency from the time that they're aware when they're three or four till they're dead when it's insane. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| This is the strangest times of all. | ||
| No one knows how to run it now. | ||
| No one knows how to figure this out. | ||
| The more information keeps coming in, the weirder things start getting, the fucking meteors landing in Russia, the fact that no one even saw those coming, and that there was a giant asteroid that... | ||
| Whipped overhead within a day of that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it was inside the outer band of satellites. | ||
| There's a lot of weirdness to this world that we live in that we're just not taking into consideration at all. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, fuck yeah, man. | ||
| And generally with people, that thing where we just don't think about the – as a species, we are living in the same way a modern individual lives. | ||
| A species as a whole is living in a state of delusion. | ||
| The species as a whole is pretending that the most important thing is solving whatever little religious war or territory-based war or economic problem. | ||
| They think that's the most important thing and the way we're living as a species is all based on the notion of there being the individual instead of the totality of the race. | ||
| So this way of living is one of denial. | ||
| So the human race right now exists on a planet where we blow each other up every single day, fight these ridiculous wars, fight against each other, and completely ignore the fact that we are floating in the void. | ||
| And this planet, on the regs, on the regs, gets smashed by fucking meteors. | ||
| Now, why the fuck would we not, you know, be doing the obvious thing, which would be in this situation, if the first thing you would do is figure out, okay, let's come up with a foolproof way to control meteors. | ||
| Then we'll fight. | ||
| Then let's fight the wars. | ||
| There might not be one. | ||
| And not only that, a lot of these asteroids that they're picking up, they're coming in from amateur astronomers, like a good percentage of them. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know, but that- There's not that many professionals watching the sky. | ||
| Well, this is the whole thing where they say like one month of, you know, we stopped one month of war in Afghanistan. | ||
| You know that number, right? | ||
| If you stopped war for one month in Afghanistan, you could pay for everybody in the United States to go to college for free. | ||
| It's some kind of crazy number. | ||
| Now, that number might be two months. | ||
| So in the same way, if you consider that, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'm saying as a species, our priorities are a little weird. | ||
| And as an individual, you know, people in the same way, they spend most of their time ignoring the fact that there's a subjective meteor that's guaranteed going to smash into your life at some point, which is old age, disease, and death. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| So people spend their time ignoring that fact as well. | ||
| It makes sense in a way. | ||
| I mean thinking about it's so fucking intense. | ||
| It's a lot easier to worry about your own personal problems, the little things. | ||
| Yeah, I want to find this military budget cut thing if that's true. | ||
| That one month of the military budget if you cut it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wouldn't surprise me. | ||
| Just find out what the yearly military budget is, you know? | ||
| It's like, look, this is the fucking thing that Neil deGrasse Tyson posts, which is like the picture of the meteor or whatever, and this is why we need to work, you know? | ||
| This is why we need to work on the space program. | ||
| What the fuck can we do? | ||
| You know what I also think? | ||
| I think that school should be free. | ||
| I think we should be paying for whatever it is, college, high school, everything. | ||
| I think school should be free, always. | ||
| I think it should be free, and it should be encouraged, and we should pay for it with our taxes. | ||
| You know, I would rather pay for fucking Like a really high-level school that kids could go to even if they were poor. | ||
| I would way rather pay for that than pay for more military bullshit, more drones. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Drones above – I mean you could do that. | ||
| That could be something that could be done. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean that's the thing. | ||
| It can't be done as long as we're confused as a species into thinking that there are – Religions that are more important than religions or countries that are more important than other countries or people that are more important than other people. | ||
| As long as we're stuck in that modality, well, then we're never going to fucking wake up to the fact that we have to shift, you know? | ||
| And it's saying this stuff, you know, suddenly you sound like you're singing goddamn a John Lennon song, but it's like... | ||
| That fucking him. | ||
| That motherfucker. | ||
| The only problem I have with John Lennon is he was banging Yoko Ono. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus, dude, you're John Lennon. | ||
| Don't hate. | ||
| Don't hate. | ||
|
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Don't hate that sweet, wild Asian hippie pussy. | |
| We've shown you the video of John Lennon with Chuck Berry singing when Yoko Ono starts screaming into the microphone. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like, aya, aya, aya! | |
| Bill Burr does this bit on it. | ||
| If you haven't heard this, you have to see it on YouTube. | ||
| Go find it on YouTube. | ||
| Bill Burr, Chuck Berry, Yoko Ono. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious. | ||
| But back then, wasn't Asians more rare? | ||
| It was almost like dating a Because all the war and stuff like that weren't easy to find. | ||
| She's a ding-a-ling. | ||
| It's like dating a red panda. | ||
| It's not that important that a person's race. | ||
| It's not that important. | ||
| It's like, who the fuck are they? | ||
| That chick's a loon. | ||
| Yeah, but that was probably so in back then. | ||
| I can't hate that. | ||
| That's what he loved. | ||
| I don't blame him. | ||
| It's the only thing that I disagree with him on. | ||
| Everything else, I think he was brilliant. | ||
| He's pretty brilliant, man. | ||
| I don't think anybody ever gets the whole package correct. | ||
| Well, no, man. | ||
|
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Not in one run. | |
| How do you know if this is your life? | ||
| I'm an old soul. | ||
| Everybody always says that. | ||
| I think I've been around before. | ||
| I think I've had many lives. | ||
| No one ever goes, I think. | ||
| I was a rabbit in the last life. | ||
| This is my first time as a person. | ||
| It's nice to be on board. | ||
| No, everybody is, I'm an old soul. | ||
| Well, yeah, there are a lot of people, a lot of Cleopatras out there, a lot of Cleopatras. | ||
| Everybody in their past life was doing something awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, no shit. | ||
| No one ever finds out they were just homeless, just losers, shitting on themselves, sucking dick for homemade wine. | ||
| Oh man, that would be so fucking great to be able to like remember all those things. | ||
| It'd be so great just to know, you know, in the way they can do your DNA tests and they're like, whoa, you're like, you know, partially Scottish and there's some Native American in there. | ||
| It'd be so cool to like analyze all your particles and be like, oh yes, 4% of you came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster and the other 2% came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It'd be super cool to know, like, just the various star particulates that you're comprised of would be incredible. | ||
| Or animals, like, you're 7% cat. | ||
| I heard this, and I'm not sure if it's correct, so there's a disclaimer before I talk about it, but they were talking about... | ||
| Fuck, I can't remember this now. | ||
| I'm trying to... | ||
| It's too weird. | ||
| I'll get back to it. | ||
| I'll get back to it. | ||
| I'm trying to remember how it goes. | ||
| I don't want to fuck this up. | ||
| I'm going to look it up and make sure that I get it right. | ||
| What about that Clint Tarantino video? | ||
| Before that, what were we just talking about just before that? | ||
| We're talking about tracing your weird DNA back, and I don't know. | ||
| I can't remember how he got there. | ||
| Oh, that's what it was. | ||
| I don't know if this is true, but they believe that within the next 100 years, they will have a computer that is powerful enough. | ||
| Ready for this? | ||
| To take into account everything that exists today and use it in a numerical equation that will show everything that ever existed and every action and interaction that ever took place in the past in order to get to that position. | ||
| So they'll basically look at all the buildings. | ||
| They'll look at all the people. | ||
| They'll look at literally every component on Earth. | ||
| And that computers will be so powerful that from seeing what exists now and knowing the amount of time the Earth has existed, the computer will be able to paint you an incredibly accurate absolute simulation of every single action in its form, including whatever words you said to a girlfriend when you were pissed about, that it's all just one gigantic equation. including whatever words you said to a girlfriend when you | ||
| Every time you hit your horn at a red light, every time you said fuck yeah when Highway to Hell came on, all those things you could literally know everything that happened based on everything that exists. | ||
| Well, this is that, yeah... | ||
| You say it doesn't seem possible, but I don't... | ||
| Well, your fart theory comes into effect. | ||
| How do we know if you farted or not? | ||
| Well, this is the idea, but you're not really totally paying attention. | ||
| I know what you mean. | ||
| I was just kidding. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The idea is that when you can have... | ||
| There's these things that they're coming up with and they're almost like the size of a large grain of sand or smaller than a grain of rice. | ||
| And they can take photographs, video, they can send images, Wi-Fi wirelessly. | ||
| They can also have a GPS locator that tells you exactly where they are. | ||
| So essentially you can have a data bank of cameras with dust. | ||
| You can spray dust over a city, okay? | ||
| These little powder things, they'd be everywhere. | ||
| You'd never clean them all up. | ||
| And you would essentially have a rough picture of everything that's going on all the time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Once you got to that point, you could get an accurate account of everything that exists on the earth. | ||
| All the water, all the... | ||
| I mean, it's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| If we can measure right now in our crude technological way where 200 years ago we were riding animals and we didn't have cars... | ||
| You couldn't take pictures. | ||
| Within 200 years, we could do that. | ||
| We can tell you how many acres something is. | ||
| We can tell you we can do a radio frequency test or whatever the fuck they do to find out what's in the ground, what the soil's made out of. | ||
| We can get a pretty rough account of what we've got around us. | ||
| Well, if they can get to a point where they can literally tell you everything that exists and have it calculated, Everything that exists in this form on Earth right now and know how long and know what we know about human history and put it all into account and be able to actually see a recreation of everything that's ever happened. | ||
| Here's the thing that the one little piece you're missing here, it's so funny you're saying this because I got super stoned in Vancouver and started thinking about something like this, but here's the thing you're missing. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| But you know what that is you just described? | ||
| That's a fucking time machine when you add one more component to it, which is a neurological interface that instead of it like you watching, it places you inside of the recreation. | ||
| So now you're able to zoom backwards through this like simulated past reality based on like, well, if this happened before this, we can figure out what happened before that. | ||
| And there was – there would be a kind of rate of entropy too based on like the further back you got, the less accurate your prediction of things that happened would be it seems like. | ||
| You wouldn't be – I don't think you'd be able to perfectly … Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do smell because there's no smell technology that would know all the kinds of smell like apple pie and stuff like that. | ||
| Well, maybe it could simulate. | ||
| Maybe it could like … That's actually kind of a good point. | ||
| That's what your fart theory is. | ||
| That's what I was talking about. | ||
| Well, what I'm basing it on though is events and like things that have caused like why. | ||
| You ever go to the Big Island? | ||
| You ever been to the Big Island? | ||
| The Big Island is actually the least populated. | ||
| It's less populated than Oahu or Maui. | ||
| But a big one half of a side of it is all lava fields. | ||
| It's all just like you know that that fucking thing exploded like recently like within the last who knows how many hundred years whatever and there's lava like rock all over the place if you could you could accurately say okay well this lava has been around for 150 years and before that it was pastures and they actually have photos of it you know you could have like the locals describe what happened when in 1820 the lava came over the top and covered the town we can get sort of a pretty decent picture Based on stuff | ||
| like that. | ||
| I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that they can get a totally accurate picture of history. | ||
| Oh wait, here's the other part I forgot. | ||
| This is another piece of technology that you need. | ||
| Based on the idea that you have this insanely advanced computer, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the idea that they could, you know, what they're doing with the Human Genome Project, somehow they finally pull that off with the human brain. | ||
| So that you could start doing brain scans and gather people's memories together. | ||
| That's the other piece of it. | ||
| So then what you end up having is instead of just having these particulates that scan the geographical makeup of the planet, you also have somehow the ability to absorb the memories and the actual memories of human beings. | ||
| Could you imagine though if somebody else had to go and access your memories? | ||
| You'd be like, what the fuck am I looking at? | ||
| Like, it's just like blurry legs and, you know, some girl's butt where she shows it to you. | ||
| You know, a TV show that you barely can remember the plot. | ||
| I mean, how fucking accurate is your memory? | ||
| I mean, the idea of tapping into your memories and then putting it on, you'd be watching like the most retarded animated GIF file ever. | ||
| That's what it would be. | ||
| It's just like, bang, voom, bang, voom. | ||
| Here's where it gets really crazy. | ||
| It would be like a fine video. | ||
|
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It's fine. | |
| But it would be a little longer and blurrier. | ||
| It would be way blurrier. | ||
| That's so true, man. | ||
| That's a funny thing you're saying. | ||
| That's like an existentialist idea. | ||
| That's an existential idea, which is this idea of our actual lives, when you consider your POV, are so the opposite of movies and so the opposite of the construct of some beginning and some ending and some middle place. | ||
| It really is just this blur of, like, coffee's going in the mouth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, turn the radio. | ||
| You know, it's like significant moments come afterwards. | ||
| You like sort of decide the significant moments and that's what you relate. | ||
| But there's far more moments of just driving in between those significant moments or walking or like – it is a blur. | ||
| Human existence is mostly just a blur. | ||
| Memory is a blur. | ||
| Memory is very sketchy. | ||
| That's why people like Neil deGrasse Tyson gets out of jury duty and says he doesn't trust eyewitness testimony. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're like, get out of here. | ||
| But he's right. | ||
| It's been shown to be wrong. | ||
| I mean, people have gone to jail because of false eyewitness testimony. | ||
| That's all he says? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The people who are testifying were absolutely convinced that they were right, but they were wrong. | ||
| And the wrong people went to jail. | ||
| It's been proven. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Especially when you're under stressful situations, who knows what the fuck you're seeing, what you remember. | ||
| I think a lot of these Bigfoot sightings and wild animal sightings, I bet there's a lot to that as well. | ||
| I think when you're in a stressful situation, something freaks you out, whether it's a bear or something, all of a sudden that bear becomes Bigfoot. | ||
| The bear runs off, and you're like, it was fucking Bigfoot, man. | ||
| I swear to God, it was Bigfoot. | ||
| Meanwhile, it's midnight in the middle of Columbus, Ohio woods. | ||
| You can't see shit out there. | ||
| How the fuck do you know if it's Bigfoot? | ||
| Yay, Columbus. | ||
| Powerful Columbus this weekend. | ||
| You know what I'm saying, Duncan? | ||
| Yeah, I do know what you're saying, man. | ||
| Can't trust eyewitness testimony. | ||
| If I got a hold of your memories, I'd be like, but Duncan, what did you do to that baby? | ||
| You'd be like, no, dude, that was a doll! | ||
| I got a video in my mind of a baby getting waterboarded. | ||
| It wouldn't be so exciting. | ||
| I think it'd just be murky. | ||
| What if they found out that waterboarding only works on babies? | ||
| And Little Esther. | ||
| That would be incredible if you waterboard babies and they start coughing up information. | ||
| They just tell you everything they know. | ||
| In different languages. | ||
| I like poopy. | ||
| I like carrots. | ||
| Would we support waterboarding? | ||
| If you could interrogate babies and find out what happened before they were born, I think it'd be worth a try. | ||
| We know Alex Jones believes that Zero Dark Thirty was a government propaganda film supporting terrorism. | ||
| That's not how they got that information. | ||
| It's a lie. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, you can't torture babies for information. | ||
| No Geneva Convention is going to allow that shit. | ||
| Do they even have a Geneva Convention anymore? | ||
| It's like a Geneva flea market now. | ||
| Oh my god, the Geneva Convention. | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| That goes against the Geneva Convention! | ||
| Yeah, that was like a big thing in movies, right? | ||
|
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Always. | |
| When someone was doing something bad, they're going against the Geneva Convention. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, that's a significant thing. | ||
| It's like the Constitution. | ||
| It's generally the criminal knows the Geneva Convention. | ||
| It's like, you can't do this because of the Geneva Convention. | ||
| Then he gets left off the hook. | ||
| The Geneva Convention. | ||
| The Geneva Convention. | ||
| Yeah, we need a 2013, we made it past the Mayans Convention. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Just get together and go, listen. | ||
| Let's look at this realistically. | ||
| Wouldn't that be great? | ||
| Wouldn't that just be fucking great? | ||
| That's what I love fantasizing about, man. | ||
| I love fucking thinking about that. | ||
| That thing that finally happens when everything just... | ||
| We finally turn away from these ridiculous... | ||
| Our addiction to leaders. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And we turn away from our addiction to matter and then... | ||
| God damn it, man. | ||
| It'd be so fucking awesome. | ||
| We could really, we could whip, I bet if all of humanity just started working on it right now, together, we could whip up a spaceship that would probably travel, I bet we could have a light speed traveling spaceship in 10 years. | ||
| I think one of the reasons why this podcast resonates so much with people is the conversations that we have sometimes where this is not an alien way of thinking. | ||
| This is a really smart way of thinking. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| And it seems like it would be beneficial to all, including the people that are in power. | ||
| But if you hear that, if you hear someone saying something like that, you automatically assume that they're a fucking loon. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| You're not allowed to say these things. | ||
| There's just some basic truths, though. | ||
| And when you say them, people will definitely get weirded out. | ||
| When you do say the truth, the truth is continents weren't named that. | ||
| They've only been named that for a very short time. | ||
| North America was not North America 2,000 years ago. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So that's number one. | ||
| Number one is the names that we've given these things are not the real names. | ||
| Number two is... | ||
| When you say that this is this country, well, it is right now. | ||
| You think it's going to be this country in 500 years? | ||
| But for a lot of people, it doesn't matter because it is right now. | ||
| It gives them, like, look, I'm a fucking American. | ||
| Back off. | ||
|
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I'm an American. | |
| Keep my Second Amendment rights. | ||
| Always, always weird. | ||
| This is what America is about. | ||
| Always weird. | ||
| But America is, in a lot of ways, about those people. | ||
| Because those people represent a large chunk of the population. | ||
| The people who want to keep their guns, the people that, you know, like NASCAR. And that's what they like. | ||
| As long as they're not criminals, as long as they pay taxes, America has to represent them. | ||
| And one of the ways, you gotta have some low-level patriotism type thing going on. | ||
| Well, America! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| I mean, that's legit. | ||
| It works. | ||
| It gets people pumped up. | ||
| They like rooting for teams. | ||
| Well, right. | ||
| Ape-like people. | ||
| Ape-like people like tribal sort of things. | ||
|
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They love it. | |
| And those teams are always fucking up. | ||
| And back in the fucking day, think about it. | ||
| There was a great team. | ||
| It was called the Christians and the Witches. | ||
| And they were incinerating fucking witches. | ||
| And that was also part of being an American at one time. | ||
|
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Burning the witches, having a slave, killing the Indians. | |
| That's just like part of being a Catholic at one time was being an inquisitor. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's always weird. | ||
| The team thing is great from a sentimental perspective and it's like, I get it. | ||
| You want to be an American? | ||
| Great. | ||
| You want to love the country? | ||
|
unidentified
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Great. | |
| I do love this country, but guess what? | ||
| I love fucking humans. | ||
| Do you know the story behind the latest theory of the witch trials? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, ergot, tripping balls. | |
| The latest theory involves a premature frost. | ||
| They were growing wheat, apparently, and when they have a frost, when the plants freeze and then thaw out, sometimes they get weird funguses. | ||
| This one, they did some soil samples and they found that there was Sometime around that area, where they were doing the Salem witch trials, they had early frost. | ||
| I think they found evidence of this stuff, this ergot stuff. | ||
| It's very common, though, on wheat. | ||
| It's like acid. | ||
| It's basically very similar to taking acid. | ||
| That's awesome if that's true. | ||
| They're almost positive. | ||
| I mean, scientifically it all lines up because they know that it's happened before, that people have gotten wheat that's been poisoned by it and they've gotten sick and they've had hallucinations. | ||
| So if you've got a whole country or a whole city that's eating the wheat for who knows how long that's filled with ergot. | ||
| But there's some speculation as to whether or not it would be still psychoactive after you baked it. | ||
| I've seen people that disagree with it. | ||
| But in my opinion, I mean, it seems to be a likely candidate. | ||
| Well, there's also the thing where there was like an oppressive religious structure confusing people into thinking that there was a devil. | ||
| Yeah, it could just be a high-level percolation of crazy. | ||
| It could just be, let's burn witches, let's take this shit to the next level, bloop! | ||
| And then, you know, we gotta blame it on something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, I mean, you look at the stuff that, I mean, people are getting burned as witches in Africa right now, and they're not... | ||
| There's no ergot? | ||
| There's no ergot, yeah. | ||
| Usually there's just a bunch of horny, angry guys who wanna fucking torch a bitch. | ||
| That's what it is, man. | ||
| And it's like, also, it's the bad version of what they call the patriarchy, too. | ||
| I mean, the fucking witch burnings were just the same as us killing the Indians in a different way. | ||
| It was like there was a religion that existed before Catholicism came rolling through planet Earth, and that religion was... | ||
| What we call paganism, which is country dwellers is what that means. | ||
| Just people who are more in tune with the earth, knew about herbs and stuff. | ||
| That's why all of our holidays are fucking weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All of our holidays are there. | ||
| They're all mismatched. | ||
| They're all mismatched, weird shit that we don't really understand based on Jupiter and just strange. | ||
| Fucking Lupercalia is what Valentine's Day is, is Lupercalia. | ||
| You know about that? | ||
| You know what Lupercalia was? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Lupercalia is fucking crazy, man. | ||
| You would get, like, on Valentine's Day, around Valentine's Day, it was called the Festival Lupercalia, and Luper was some kind of wolf god that the Romans worshipped. | ||
| So what you would do is you would, as I recall, I looked it up on Wikipedia. | ||
| You can look it up, guys, and you'll find a much more detailed... | ||
| Spell it out to me? | ||
| Lupercalia. | ||
| L-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-A. Yeah, read that shit. | ||
| That's what Valentine's Day used to be. | ||
| But St. Valentine, of course, was a saint, a Catholic saint. | ||
| Yeah, Luper Cali. | ||
| That's how you spell it, Luper Cali. | ||
| Wow, this is amazing. | ||
| Yeah, it's very interesting. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| Ancient, possibly pre-Roman, pastoral festival observed on February 13th through 15th to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But read what they did, dude! | ||
| They whipped – there was flogging involved in this festival. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| But that's what – that preceded – that was the religion that preceded the one that is currently the dominant religion. | ||
| And that old religion didn't get – they weren't just like, you know what? | ||
| We're not going to worship the wolf god anymore. | ||
| It was that they were getting torched. | ||
| And I don't think it was based on eating like fungus. | ||
| I think it was because it's two combating paradigms that don't work together at all. | ||
| And I'm not saying either one is necessarily logical, but one is more based on the way the earth works and the other one is based on the way like old dudes try to control people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's where – that's the – I mean, dude, this whole fucking pope thing – To me, it's crazy and hilarious that we even pay attention to what that clown is doing. | ||
| How is that even making the news? | ||
| There's some weird fucking group of people who do the most bizarre ceremonies. | ||
| Sanctioned. | ||
| Sanctioned by governments and mass media. | ||
| No one calls it a cult. | ||
| The guy's wearing a fucking wizard outfit with a fish head hat. | ||
| If you tried to do that today and tried to say, I am adorned of God, he has brought to me this information, you set up a shop, they would think you were a fucking loon. | ||
| But because of the fact that it's been around for a long time, this guy has a direct lineage, we're supposed to take it seriously. | ||
| We're supposed to take it seriously and we're supposed to fucking ignore all the shit Catholicism did. | ||
| Well, how about the shit he did? | ||
| He released a priest that had molested 200 deaf boys. | ||
| 200. He let him go, huh? | ||
| He let him go. | ||
| He brought him into psychiatric, instead of bringing in and getting him prosecuted, they brought him in for psychiatric treatment and this guy went on They went to another parish and molested more boys. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking craziness. | ||
| He did that time and time again. | ||
| He took people away from being prosecuted and sent them to psychiatric care and they're free. | ||
| They're free to go. | ||
| They're free and they're walking around the street. | ||
| Some of them are in these huge religious retreat places that they have, beautiful grounds, and these guys are just wandering around, taking care of them for the rest of their lives. | ||
| And they're child molesters. | ||
| There's a place like that up where I live. | ||
| So, right. | ||
| So that's happening. | ||
| And they don't pay taxes. | ||
| They don't pay fucking taxes. | ||
| That is fucking crazy. | ||
| All that shit is crazy. | ||
| The idea that they should be able to make golden buildings and not pay taxes. | ||
| Bitch, are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| Can you fucking imagine? | ||
| That's a business. | ||
| It's a business. | ||
| It's a fucking business. | ||
| No, you don't talk directly for God. | ||
| It's 2013. Stop. | ||
| Stop your bullshit. | ||
| You're not telling the truth. | ||
| You don't know that much. | ||
| I don't believe you. | ||
| I think you are very charismatic, and there's a lot of people that want to believe you, and they'll go along with it. | ||
| But you're talking crazy. | ||
| God's not talking to you, stupid. | ||
| No, you're an asshole. | ||
| You're an asshole, and you're taking their money. | ||
| We've got to make sure that this stops with our generation. | ||
| We've got to make sure that future generations don't They don't have a gigantic religious leader, someone who tells them based on some nutty shit that was written thousands of years ago by people who drew on animal skins. | ||
| But also it spreads. | ||
| The way that looks with Catholicism is just one version of the problem. | ||
| The other problem is the guy who calls – there's like – in the way there's a pope, there's also a dude who calls himself the president. | ||
| But instead of representing some phantasmal force called God, he says, I represent the will of the people. | ||
| Yet he doesn't really represent the will of the people. | ||
| It doesn't seem like that when he goes to – when they do the polls and they – as it turns out – and I'm not just the president. | ||
| Of course the government as a whole. | ||
| The president doesn't have totalitarian power, but – I don't think that the president really represents the will of the people, and I don't think Congress represents the will of the people, and I don't think Senate represents the will of the people any more than the Pope represents the will of God. | ||
| And I think it's this imaginary thing that we're supposed to believe in because it makes us feel more comfortable as though these people are really enacting the will of the people. | ||
| I think the will of the people is that we want peace. | ||
| We want to be able to – we do want security. | ||
| We want education. | ||
| But we don't want fucking war with evil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We don't want fucking war with Iraq. | ||
| How the fuck do you say that? | ||
| I forget to say that. | ||
| I got so stirred up. | ||
| We don't want it. | ||
| Nobody wants war. | ||
| And if there is, it's a small faction of people, sweaty, red-faced cocksuckers. | ||
| You know, or like that awful, thin fucking scarecrow cunt, Ann Coulter. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| She's like something that... | ||
| Baphomet fucking coughed up like a hairball that Satan rejected. | ||
| Did you see her getting booed at the Libertarian Convention? | ||
|
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No. | |
| This fucking – she fucking had the audacity like in front of the Libertarian Convention she said – they were asking her like, do you think gay people can get married? | ||
|
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And she's like, yes, gay people can get married to members of the opposite sex. | |
| You bitch. | ||
| You dirty, tap-dancing, scandalous bitch. | ||
| She's such a beast, man. | ||
| So anyway, what I'm saying is there's a small faction of these pigs, you know what I mean, that grab this spotlight and produce this illusion. | ||
| And certainly one of the great illusions is the idea that the pope represents God, governments represent the people. | ||
| Television represents reality. | ||
| What we have happening on this planet is dramatic cases of misrepresentation coming from a small minority of people who've managed to grab power. | ||
| And this creates an illusion that people try to live by. | ||
| And the reason everything's all fucked up is because it's not based on what's really happening. | ||
| Yeah, and I believe that's one of the reasons why government likes to keep religion in positions of power and keep them tax-free. | ||
| Because it helps when people are in big groups. | ||
| It helps when people are already indoctrinated to the rules of the group, because then you're more likely to be a person who listens to rules. | ||
| The real issue with absolving all religion is not the denial of the existence of God, but the denial of man's knowledge of exactly what God is, who God is, what God wants, And instead, all you can do is base it on the wisdom of ancient teachings that we know to be true today. | ||
| A lot of that is real. | ||
| Being able to treat people the way you would want to be treated yourself and in fact treat people as if they were you living another life. | ||
| That's how I literally try to do that. | ||
| I try to do that. | ||
| It gets a little taxing when you're like, why am I such a fucking loser in this other life? | ||
| It gets annoying. | ||
| Why am I a dickhead in this other life? | ||
| But if you think about some of the things that people associate with religion, the ideas, the good ideas of charity and love and family, the values of virtue in your ethics and the way you think of your fellow citizens, your fellow humans that you're in this colony with, Those are all really super positive for the most part. | ||
| It's mixed in with a lot of scare tactics and fear and nonsense and who knows when that was all added. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| But we know when we feel great. | ||
| We know when we feel filled with love. | ||
| We know when our life is at its best. | ||
| And it's real simple. | ||
| It's being around people that you also love. | ||
| They love you. | ||
| You're unconditional. | ||
| You're all friendly. | ||
| You're all happy. | ||
| And not having a bunch of shit that bothers you as far as like, man, I should have been a singer. | ||
| Or, man, I should have played baseball. | ||
| Or, man, I should have given it a shot. | ||
| Or, man, why didn't I call her that night and say I'm sorry? | ||
| Why did I have to be? | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| When you have regret, when you're in that weird state of regret, I'm very extreme with that. | ||
| I'm very harsh on myself as far as monitoring negativity and positivity and making sure that I'm in a good track. | ||
| When you judge yourself to be in a bad place, that can really distract all of your creativity. | ||
| It can completely fuck with any new positive things that are moving forward. | ||
| Instead, you've gone on to correction duty. | ||
| Then you have to look at how did this sort of behavior manifest itself? | ||
| What was the cause? | ||
| Is it alcohol-induced? | ||
| Is it insecurity-induced? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| What were the combinations of factors that led you to be a douchebag? | ||
| What was wrong that made you have a mediocre set? | ||
| What was the thing that was bugging you where you sat in front of your computer for two hours, you couldn't write shit? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| You gotta stop whatever that is. | ||
| Stop whatever that is and make sure that doesn't happen again. | ||
| And we have to sort of figure that out along the way. | ||
| And that's one of the weirdest things about being a human is we're all sort of figuring this out as this thing is in motion. | ||
| And I always equate it to being like we woke up In the middle of a starship that's hurling towards a planet. | ||
| And we're like waking up, hitting all the instruments, going, okay, where are we? | ||
| We're going 75 million miles an hour. | ||
| How close is that planet? | ||
| Okay, are we going to hit that planet? | ||
| Does anybody know how to hit... | ||
| Where are the brakes? | ||
| Does this thing turn? | ||
| Okay, how did we get here? | ||
| Who built this fucking ship? | ||
| And how long have we been asleep? | ||
| I mean, we literally are in the middle of not just a process, but like a journey... | ||
| A process of constant reevaluation and ingenuity and innovation where this technology that we're surrounded by is increasing in its power and ability like tenfold every couple years. | ||
| Like these crazy quantum levels where they're coming up with quantum computing and they're talking about the ability to put Google glasses on and communicate with the fucking world all at the same time. | ||
| This time that we're at right now, it's almost as if We picked the perfect spot for the most action. | ||
| Like, the perfect spot for, like, the birth and emergence of technology into the forefront of mankind. | ||
| Well, you know, a lot of New Agers, you know, say that the reason that the Earth is so populated right now is because so many different beings from infinity, from the multiverse, are wanting to incarnate right now because it's such an exciting thing that's happening to the planet. | ||
| That's a great way of looking at it. | ||
| Why are there so many entities incarnated right now? | ||
| Because you only get one thing, like this thing when a planet pops, you know, when it like wakes up. | ||
| It's like a really beautiful thing to be a part of. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I love that model. | ||
| I don't necessarily believe it. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's a very empowering Melissa Etheridge style model. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Melissa Etheridge! | |
| Yeah, that's just mostly because porn is more accepted and people are having more crazy sex and are open about sex, right? | ||
| What? | ||
| And younger people are having sex younger. | ||
| That's why there's so much of a population boom at this time because kids are watching porn. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Kids are fucking exactly the same amount of porn. | ||
| Porn and no porn. | ||
| Porn actually probably stops them from fucking as much because they jerk off. | ||
| I don't believe that. | ||
| The early 1900s, it's all about family and stuff. | ||
| People weren't having crazy sex all over the place, don't you think? | ||
| Okay, you don't know your history, son. | ||
| What do you think the roaring 20s were? | ||
| That was all people fucking like wild animals. | ||
| In New York City? | ||
| Doctors were giving abortions. | ||
| No, it wasn't in New York City, man. | ||
| I think your perceptions of the world are a little off. | ||
| The thing that brought people very conservative back to being conservative was the Great Depression. | ||
| So before the Great Depression, which was in the 1930s, they were fucking going bananas. | ||
| People were going crazy. | ||
| And that was the Roaring Twenties. | ||
| They had speakeasies. | ||
| Chicks were getting banged. | ||
| Dudes were living a bachelor life. | ||
| They were putting cocaine in Coke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dudes were living a bachelor life to the point where pool halls were... | ||
| There was... | ||
| I think four times more pool halls in New York City than there are Starbucks today. | ||
| There were over a thousand pool halls in New York City at the turn of the century because people were just gambling. | ||
| What do you mean kids? | ||
| Kids. | ||
| Like nowadays, the average person having sex for the first time is like 14, 15 years old. | ||
| Back then it was probably 21 and 22 because of the religion and stuff. | ||
| No, you're wrong. | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| Yeah, you're wrong. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| People have always had sex at a young age. | ||
| Boys and girls have gotten together at a young age forever and fucked. | ||
| I don't imagine that there's any more or less fucking than has ever existed amongst teenagers. | ||
| If you leave them alone, they fuck. | ||
| And who fucks more than Catholic school girls? | ||
| You really think religion is going to stop you? | ||
| Religion is not stopping a crazy bitch with a moist pussy. | ||
| If you leave almost any animal alone with itself, it'll fuck. | ||
| I don't buy that. | ||
| I don't buy that. | ||
| But the conservatism that we think of from like the 1950s, well, that was in response to the fact that Hitler had just come along and World War II came along and our grandparents had to fight the Nazis. | ||
| You know, my grandfather worked in a plant that made a part for the atomic bomb. | ||
| That was like always the big thing that everybody would brag around the house. | ||
| You know, Grandpa makes a part in his factory that is for the atomic bomb. | ||
| You know, so the conservatism that I think that came in the 1950s, the fear, the McCarthy era, when everybody's like, you're communists! | ||
| Everyone's a communist! | ||
| We were worried about Russia doing the same shit we had just seen the Nazis do. | ||
| So then the 60s come along. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Everybody finds drugs and free love and hippie shit, and the government's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Like, stop this! | ||
| Like, we're losing all... | ||
| The government saw a bunch of soft men running around in sandals, Getting raped by Russians. | ||
| The Russians just come over here and just storm our beaches and kick us into the fucking dirt. | ||
| Everyone's on acid. | ||
| Nobody wants to fight anymore. | ||
| We're going to get overtaken by the Russians. | ||
| The commies are everywhere. | ||
| Did you go to the Communist Manifesto dinner? | ||
| I just want to know what it's all about. | ||
| Blacklisted! | ||
| There was like a wild frenzy to stop the drugs and to stop communism and to stop any hippie bullshit and put more power back to the government. | ||
| Well, that's the thing I've been thinking, dude, is that I think that there's basically two religions in the world. | ||
| And that one religion is a religion... | ||
| Religion's probably the wrong word for it. | ||
| When I got cancer, you know, my mom's dying. | ||
| I've had a weird fucking year. | ||
| And all the turbulence, man, like behind it, this is what's crazy about really severe, catastrophic things happening in your life, is like... | ||
| And why they call it an apocalypse, personal apocalypse, and why apocalypse means lifting of the veil, you know? | ||
| It's like you see this fucking thing behind all the turbulence. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| After you've gotten the initial prognosis or after you find out the bad news, you go into shock, kind of. | ||
| And then that fades and you pace around and you process, process. | ||
| And then this fades away. | ||
| And this fucking thing hit me. | ||
| And I felt it when I've been on a lot of psychedelics. | ||
| I think you've kind of talked about it in your DMT trip story. | ||
| But goddammit, it's this fucking thing behind everything that's saying, everything's gonna be okay. | ||
| Everything's gonna be okay. | ||
| And you feel it. | ||
| It's not bullshit. | ||
| You're not delusional. | ||
| You really pick up on this thing. | ||
| What you feel is that you're caught up in the idea of this small loop being the big picture. | ||
| That this small loop represents your reality and it's so important to you because you have loved ones and because you have car payments and because you have a job that you enjoy. | ||
| It's so important to you, this loop. | ||
| It allows you to see that this loop is just but a thread and an infinite ball of yarn that goes on forever. | ||
| And you look at it and just go, okay. | ||
| And it's like, it's going to be okay. | ||
| And you're like, okay. | ||
| Because you realize that life and the universe and everything we find, everywhere we look, is fractal. | ||
| And that it all is infinitely big. | ||
| All of it is infinitely small and infinitely big, and it exists everywhere we look. | ||
| We never found, well, this is the end. | ||
| This is the end of matter. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Yeah, it hits a wall, and then there's nothing behind it. | ||
| No, there's no wall, man. | ||
| It goes down to subatomic particles that blink in and out of existence. | ||
| They're in a superposition, so they're in two different places at one time. | ||
| They're moving and still at the same time. | ||
| It's fucking madness. | ||
| They disappear, and they come back. | ||
| We don't know where the fuck they went. | ||
| And they can measure it, but they don't know what it means. | ||
| And so I feel like it's probably got to be that with just life in general and everything, consciousness in general. | ||
| I think we're clinging on to this one particular consciousness and this one particular moment in time because I think the human race Is here to do something. | ||
| I think we're a part of a process like bees making honey or ants making an anthill and that all of our wackiness, whether it's ego or sexuality or the need to conquer, whatever these things are, they're all a part of this gigantic calculation to bring us technologically to the next level. | ||
| Whether it's because we're worried about the other guys doing it first, whether it's because – and that's how the movement represents itself. | ||
| It represents itself through the fear of military conquest by the others, so we have to hit this technological superiority first, sort of like the moon race. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is, when I look at the idea of our inability to grasp what we're doing and our continued movement in the same crazy direction, especially when it comes to war and the lack of respect people have for poor people and the lower classes and the lack of resources that are put into raising them back up, I almost look at it like it's natural. | ||
| If you look at every other animal's behavior, whether it's wolves and the alpha beta representatives in the wolf pack and the way they have their social world structured, even if it's cruel, we see bears eat their cubs, we understand that this is nature. | ||
| Bears, one of their favorite things to do, grizzlies, they get up earlier before the females do in the spring, and they go and hunt for baby bears. | ||
| They go into the dens on purpose to eat the babies. | ||
| Buffets. | ||
| Yeah, they're motherfuckers, right? | ||
| But that's natural, and we know that's natural. | ||
| So we see it and we go, well, that's natural. | ||
| That's what nature wants. | ||
| We are the only thing that we think that can stop nature. | ||
| We can stop the equation. | ||
| We feel like we are intelligent and aware and we are capable of stopping the equation that we find ourselves in. | ||
| And I'm not so sure if that even makes sense. | ||
| Well, here's one. | ||
| This is something I thought about. | ||
| We're reading this great book about evolution. | ||
| Can I pee? | ||
| Hold this. | ||
| Oh yeah, sure. | ||
| Talk to Brian. | ||
| He'll tell you about boners. | ||
| Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What about that new PS4? I don't know about that. | ||
| You're not excited about it, huh? | ||
| No, I don't care. | ||
| I'm mildly excited about it. | ||
| I'm excited about the next generation of these things coming out. | ||
| Not as excited about the new Xbox, but I think it's pretty cool. | ||
| Have you been playing games at all? | ||
| I haven't really been playing games at all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been playing this game called Far Cry 3. Oh, you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a weird change of game for you. | ||
| Well, it's funny because the characters in it are douchebags. | ||
| It's really a cheesy storyline. | ||
| It's like a bunch of actors get kidnapped by tribal members, and it's very funny the way that they communicate with each other. | ||
| Like, we're gonna get back to Santa Monica, bro! | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| They all are in the film industry or something. | ||
| So it's cheesy. | ||
| It's like a chance to... | ||
| And also, the main character, as he progresses, gets a tribal armband that keeps growing on his arm. | ||
| The game seems to have been made by somebody who is definitely into techno and cocaine. | ||
| But it's still a very fun game. | ||
| Little Esther's watching us right now, and I've been having a side conversation. | ||
| She wants to get fake boobs. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's just trolling you. | ||
| No, she really does want fake boobs. | ||
| She has a nice rack, that girl. | ||
| Are you trying to think of her? | ||
| Yeah, I've never seen Little Esther's booths. | ||
| I apologize for that. | ||
| I'm usually very professional when it comes to my urine. | ||
| You gotta go when you gotta go! | ||
| I drank a big kombucha before Whole Foods started getting the new kombuchas in again. | ||
| Do you know that a kombucha tea, like when you get it like GT's kombucha or Synergy, it was like more than one half of 1% alcohol, so you had to be over 21 to buy it. | ||
| And you still have to be over 21 to buy it. | ||
| But they just got it back on the shelves. | ||
| They had a diluted form of it, which is still healthy. | ||
| The kombucha is still good, but it's not as good as the true fermented live culture. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking delicious. | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| Oh, it's so good. | ||
| If you get a taste for that, it's so healthy. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Because I'll drink a Diet Coke and feel like a loser. | ||
| I'm just like, what am I doing? | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Do I want to fuck my body up? | ||
| I'd rather drink a Coke because I know it's just fatty. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck these unnatural sweeteners do for you. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck they do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what's dangerous and what's not. | ||
| But I know sugar just gets you fat. | ||
| I mean, it might give you diabetes if you got a wacky system, but basically it just gets you fat. | ||
| When you take that aspartame, you know, there's like significant evidence at the point that that stuff causes cancer, like brain cancer. | ||
| I eat a lot of that shit. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think you should take that shit. | ||
| You eat a lot of aspartame? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Splenda's six a day in my Trenta iced coffee. | ||
| I think the only shit that they've shown that's really safe is stevia. | ||
| Stevia is natural. | ||
| It doesn't taste that good. | ||
| No, even lately there's been some shit on stevia. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I haven't heard that. | ||
| Because stevia's a plant. | ||
| What's that stuff, the syrup? | ||
| Agave is pretty good. | ||
| Oh, that's what I use. | ||
| No, agave is actually not good for you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, agave is not good for you. | ||
| That is so disappointing to hear. | ||
| Agave is high in, like, sugary syrup. | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I thought it was fine. | ||
| It's not like honey. | ||
| Like, honey is actually good for you. | ||
| Agave is not good for you. | ||
| It's just sugar. | ||
| What a mess. | ||
| But it's not bad for you. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| The real problem with sugar is if you get it without all the other shit that it's attached to. | ||
| If you get sugar from fruit, it's not nearly as bad for you as a spoonful of sugar. | ||
| You take a spoonful of sugar and your body is just like jolt. | ||
| You're not supposed to get that in that form. | ||
| When you're drinking Coke, you're drinking several spoonfuls, just pounding it into your bloodstream. | ||
| I wonder how many spoonfuls of aspartame is in a Diet Coke. | ||
| No one's done that. | ||
| I've never seen that shit. | ||
| Well, even juices. | ||
| That's the criticism of fruit juices. | ||
| The criticism of fruit juices is you're getting far too much sugar. | ||
| What you're really supposed to do is drink water and eat oranges. | ||
| Because when you eat an orange, it's attached to fiber. | ||
| It's attached to cellulose, all the different plant, whatever the fuck an orange or the fruit is made of. | ||
| You're supposed to get that. | ||
| That's the nutritional package. | ||
| You're supposed to get fibers along with it. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why kale shakes are so good as opposed to juicing. | ||
| This guy at the Whole Foods was talking to me about that. | ||
| I said, I like juicing too. | ||
| I like juicing. | ||
| Juicing is great for getting a lot of chlorophyll. | ||
| You can get highly concentrated greens if you juice. | ||
| But the fiber is really good for you too. | ||
| If you can just choke it down. | ||
| A lot of people are like, oh my god, what are you eating? | ||
| Just choke it down. | ||
| You mean your kale shakes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, those are disgusting. | ||
| I gotta piss. | ||
| Go ahead, go ahead, piss. | ||
| You say they're nasty, but they're so good for you, man, and I can't tell you how many people that I've run into at these shows that, like, this one dude in Anaheim this weekend, he said that he lost 200 fucking pounds. | ||
| He showed me a picture of him standing next to Dan Henderson, and he was like, where is it, Ben Henderson? | ||
| Not sure. | ||
| Blurry picture. | ||
| I forgot to ask him. | ||
| But he was enormous. | ||
| And now he's like 200 pounds. | ||
| I was like, that is insane. | ||
| I go, that's incredible. | ||
| He goes, dude, it was just listening to the podcast. | ||
| He goes, you guys changed my life. | ||
| He goes, I started thinking about things positive and realizing what can I do to affect my quality of life. | ||
| So I started drinking kale shakes every day. | ||
| I started working out just a little, going on walks. | ||
| 200 fucking pounds this guy lost. | ||
| You want to check this out? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is... | ||
| And by the way, that 200-pound thing, that's just one of them. | ||
| I ran into some folks in North Carolina. | ||
| They had lost over 100. The guy lost 100. The girl lost 90. I mean, I run into it all the time. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| It's unexpected. | ||
| What this is, what we're about to play, is Quentin Tarantino, who is one of... | ||
| You've talked about this before a while ago, too. | ||
| Yeah, but this is unconnected. | ||
| This video is. | ||
| Quentin Tarantino, my favorite director of all time. | ||
| If you tell me if there's a new Quentin Tarantino movie, I know I'm going to have a good time. | ||
| The guy's a nut. | ||
| But like a lot of nuts, he's nuts. | ||
| He's a brilliant director, but he's a chameleon socially. | ||
| And I noticed it when I was listening to him. | ||
| I had the Sirius XM in my other car. | ||
| In my last car, and I listened to him. | ||
| He was on Stern, and he sounded almost effeminate, like almost gay, or very, I should say very submissive, maybe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The word you're looking for is autistic. | ||
| Maybe it's that. | ||
| Yeah, he might be that. | ||
| Or maybe he's got like, maybe he's Asperger's or something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, so then he goes on Opie and Anthony, and then when he was on Opie and Anthony, he was one of the guys. | ||
| He's like, you know, Ope and Anthony are like regular guys. | ||
| So you go on that show and Jimmy Norton's there talking about trannies and you're like, I'm one of the guys. | ||
| We're all one of the guys. | ||
| We're hanging out here, guys. | ||
| We're hanging out, guys. | ||
| Guys are hanging out. | ||
| Then he goes on the Jamie Foxx show and he's black. | ||
| And it's not really like he sounds black. | ||
| He sounds like an old white guy trying to talk black. | ||
| And he's talking black to, you know... | ||
| Listen, you want to talk about black dudes who are bad motherfuckers, okay? | ||
| Then there's, obviously, in pop culture, in athletics, there's been many, many African Americans that have pulled off some staggering shit. | ||
| Jamie Foxx is a motherfucker, okay? | ||
| Jamie Foxx won, didn't he win like a Grammy? | ||
| He could sing his fucking dick off, okay? | ||
| You hear him sing when he did, when he played Ray Charles? | ||
| That motherfucker is talented. | ||
| That guy can play. | ||
| He can play piano. | ||
| He sings like a fucking, like, like as good as a professional famous singer could sing. | ||
| I mean, the dude's ultra super talented. | ||
| He also has his own radio station, okay? | ||
| He's got the foxhole. | ||
| He's like, yo, it's Jamie Foxx. | ||
| He has people along. | ||
| He has... | ||
| Well, your name is Foxx. | ||
| Why not call it the foxhole? | ||
| It's his place. | ||
| They're hanging out, right? | ||
| So, Quentin Tarantino, in the face of hanging around with this Uberman, this guy who's accomplished so much, this This freak success story in the history of the African American race that he morphs into a black guy when he's talking to him. | ||
| Let's see this shit. | ||
| It's really awkward. | ||
| Well then, that was on the radio, but this is something that I saw on the internet. | ||
| The other day where other people are starting to pick up on this. | ||
| And this is cracked. | ||
| So it's all these black fellows and ladies hanging out on this cool set for Django and they're asking him questions here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sound has to be like one of the most quoted movies in Hollywood with just the lines and everything. | |
| So you gotta give us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is my question for you. | |
| What is the most famous line? | ||
| Your favorite line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From pop fiction. | |
| I think probably the most famous line is, I'm going to get medieval on your ass. | ||
| Okay, that's not too bad because he's like warming up for the impression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pleasing your fans or pleasing the critics for you? | |
| Interesting question actually. | ||
| Well, I want to please my fans and I want to please the critics that are my fans. | ||
| The critics ain't my fans. | ||
| I don't give a damn. | ||
| He rapped. | ||
| He just rapped. | ||
| He went into an impromptu rap. | ||
| That was one of the most uncomfortable things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a visionary. | |
| That girl wants to work for him. | ||
| Ooh, she's hot too. | ||
| I wonder if she would fuck him. | ||
| She's so pretty. | ||
| Now, I'm not that computer savvy. | ||
| So if he had sent me something that I plug into my computer, I don't know if I would have ever heard it. | ||
| Hey, download this. | ||
| I don't know how to do that. | ||
| Then Jamie... | ||
| My man. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Jamie Foxx. | ||
| Here's Jamie Foxx sitting here going, man, I'm not hanging out with this crazy white motherfucker. | ||
| Rick Ross and the whole posse. | ||
| Fake Rick Ross, by the way. | ||
| That's the fake. | ||
| Look at Samuel Jackson. | ||
| Samuel Jackson is very uncomfortable. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's not even taking that fucking microphone away from his dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
grace so I can lay their ass in. | |
| I need a hundred black preachers with a black sermon. | ||
| Go over to Carrie with my little taper going to play it. | ||
| Bam, bam, bam. | ||
| Wait, hold on, hold on. | ||
| Isn't it possible, though, that this is some kind of weird conceptual gag he's doing? | ||
| Like, he was backstage, he's like, I'm just gonna do this for no reason. | ||
| Isn't it possible it's some inside joke? | ||
| It does remind me of something that my ex-girlfriend would do just because she likes trolling every single person she talks to. | ||
| Yeah, I got it, man. | ||
| With someone like Quentin Tarantino, who is clearly a fucking genius, I've got to think first. | ||
| This is some kind of gag. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| That guy's so cool, man. | ||
| Well, that's because you're looking for a conspiracy and everything. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Me, I go, oh, he's a loon. | ||
| A brilliant loon. | ||
| I think it's Asperger's, man. | ||
| I think he just gets uncomfortable or nervous and he just doesn't even realize he's doing it. | ||
| But I bet you're right. | ||
| Look, we're making fun of the guy, okay? | ||
| It has to be done. | ||
| Doesn't mean I don't love him. | ||
| The guy's fucking awesome. | ||
| Thanks, Jamie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's an amazing, amazing director, but that shit's hilarious. | ||
| It's hilarious when you're a different person in three different places. | ||
| But you might be right. | ||
| It might be that. | ||
| It's got to be a gag. | ||
| Yeah, let's check this out. | ||
| I took it home and I played and I go, this is the bomb! | ||
| My movies are always filled with songs, but it's always stuff that I chose from either my own collection or something like that. | ||
| I never had like a music supervisor hook me up with stuff. | ||
| It's always stuff I chose. | ||
| Now watch this. | ||
| This is the show here on another show. | ||
| Red Nosed Reindeer, the Charlie Brown special. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was that one with Fred Astaire as the mailman? | |
| He's narrating it. | ||
| Santa Claus is coming to town. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Yeah, at the end they're like, who are you? | ||
| I was trying to find his speech he did at the Oscars. | ||
| That was a really good one because he was in front of the highest of Hollywood people, so he was being very respectful. | ||
| So his voices and how he talked was very accurate. | ||
| It was a way better example than what we just saw there. | ||
| It was a super white guy. | ||
| What a strange fellow, man. | ||
| That is a confusing man. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love him. | |
| Yeah, I love him too. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He makes the best movies, man. | ||
| His movies are fun. | ||
| They're all fun. | ||
| They're all wild chaos. | ||
| Well, also, you know about the theater he bought, right? | ||
| There's a theater in LA that only shows... | ||
| It's not in Santa Monica... | ||
| I can't remember the name of the theater. | ||
| Silent Theater? | ||
| No, he bought like a theater where it shows like... | ||
| Only film. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It only shows shit that was... | ||
| It doesn't show anything digital. | ||
| So like you go there and they show all these old grindhouse films and stuff and like it's just badass and like it's not a profitable place. | ||
| He just does it because he doesn't want digital to take over, which it is, which is going to happen. | ||
| Well, it's going to happen anyway, but it's still cool just to have it. | ||
| Like that Silent Theater, is that still open? | ||
| Yeah, it's still open. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty dope. | ||
| There's a silent theater in LA where you can go watch a silent movie. | ||
| That's where Doug Benson does all his movies, where he watches a movie and then talks while the movie's going on. | ||
| That's CineFamily. | ||
| I think CineFamily is at the silent theater. | ||
| It's called CineFamily. | ||
| So he watches a silent movie and then talks over it? | ||
| No, it's not a silent movie. | ||
| It's just a regular movie, like Top Gun. | ||
| And then they just sit there and pretty much comment on it. | ||
| Well, you know, that was also an issue, a Quentin Tarantino issue, was Roger Avery apparently was the guy who wrote that whole Top Gun gay connection thing that was like Roger Avery's baby, and Quentin Tarantino did it in a movie. | ||
| Yeah, he was in a movie, and he like chameleoned Roger Avery and told the whole Top Gun story, it being like sort of a gay love story and what it really represents. | ||
| It's really brilliant. | ||
| Have you ever seen it? | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| Quentin Tarantino explains Top Gun. | ||
| Because it's kind of a trip. | ||
| Roger Avery was apparently a really brilliant guy. | ||
| He wrote Killing Zoe. | ||
| Did you ever see Killing Zoe? | ||
| I never saw it. | ||
| Fucking fantastic crime movie. | ||
| It's a fucking great movie. | ||
| And it's very... | ||
| I don't want to say Pulp Fiction-like, but exciting in that same way like Pulp Fiction is. | ||
| I don't want to tell you any more about it, but Killing Zoe is one of my favorite movies. | ||
| I love Killing Zoe. | ||
| It's a fucking badass flick. | ||
| It's a great flick. | ||
| It's just really well done. | ||
| And then my cat after that. | ||
| I had a cat named Zoe. | ||
| So Roger Avery, who created that, and also co-wrote Pulp Fiction with Tarantino. | ||
| And you can see, like, when you see, like, Killing Zoe, and when you read some of his, he was the one who got in trouble for tweeting when he was in jail. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Roger Avery was in jail. | ||
| I think he's drunk drive. | ||
| He was driving drunk and he killed somebody. | ||
| I think he got in a car accident and killed one of his friends. | ||
| And he had to go to jail for a while. | ||
| And he was tweeting from jail. | ||
| And there was some sort of a controversy with the fact that he was able to tweet from jail. | ||
| So... | ||
| They moved him. | ||
| They wound up moving him, I think, because of it. | ||
| I think he really got fucked over because of it. | ||
| I think. | ||
| I'm not sure if I'm telling the exact true story, but he wrote these really interesting tweets from jail. | ||
| It was really fascinating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| You talk about the different social things that are going on, and this guy across the hall, that guy owes him money, this could get ugly. | ||
| It's really fascinating shit that he would talk about guards getting bribed and dudes Smuggling heroin up their ass. | ||
| What's the film about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's it really about? | |
| What genre does it take? | ||
| Like the spine? | ||
| Like one sentence? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I don't fucking boy meets girl. | |
| I don't give a shit about that. | ||
| Fuck boy meets girl. | ||
| Fuck motorcycle movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What is really being said? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's really being seen? | |
| That's what you were talking about. | ||
| Because the whole idea, man, is subversion. | ||
| You want subversion on a massive level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? | |
| What? | ||
| Tonka. | ||
| Top Gun is fucking great. | ||
| What is Top Gun? | ||
| You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around. | |
| It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That is what Top Gun is about, man. | ||
| You've got Maverick, all right? | ||
| He's on the edge, man. | ||
| He's right on the fucking line, all right? | ||
| And you've got Iceman and all his crew. | ||
| They're gay. | ||
| And they represent the gay man, all right? | ||
| And they're saying, go. | ||
| Go the gay way. | ||
| Go the gay way. | ||
| He could go both What about Kelly McGillis? | ||
| She's heterosexuality. | ||
| She's saying, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Go the normal way. | ||
| Play by the rules, go the normal way. | ||
| They're saying, no, go the gay way. | ||
| Be the gay way. | ||
| Go for the gay way. | ||
| That is what's going on throughout that whole movie. | ||
| He goes to her house, right? | ||
| It looks like they're going to have sex. | ||
| They're just kind of sitting back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's taking a shower and everything. | |
| They don't have sex. | ||
| He gets in the motorcycle, drives away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like, what the fuck? | |
| What the fuck is going on here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Next scene! | |
| Next scene, you see her. | ||
| She's in the elevator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She is dressed like a guy. | |
| She's got the cap on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's got the elevator clashes. | |
| She's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. | ||
| She goes, okay, this is how I got to get this guy. | ||
| This guy's going towards the gateway. | ||
| So I got to bring him back. | ||
| I got to bring him back from the gateway. | ||
| So I'm going to do that through subterfuge. | ||
| I'm going to dress like a man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right? | |
| That is how she approaches it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But the real ending of the movie is when they fight the Knicks at the end. | ||
| Because he has passed over into the gay way. | ||
| They are this gay, fighting fucking force. | ||
| And they're beating the Russians. | ||
| The kings are beating the Russians. | ||
| And it's over, and they fucking land. | ||
| And Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time. | ||
| Finally, he's got him. | ||
| And what is the last fucking line that they had together at all? | ||
| Hugging and kissing and happy with each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Ice comes at the Maverick, and he says, Man, you can ride my tail! | |
| It's time! | ||
| And what does Maverick say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can ride my sword fight! | |
| Sword fight! | ||
| Sword fight! | ||
| Fucking it, man! | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
| But imagine if you were Roger Avery and you wrote that and Quentin Tarantino did it in a movie. | ||
| That would suck a fat dick. | ||
| Yeah, that sucks. | ||
| And apparently, Quentin claims that they co-wrote it together. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what happened, but it's a fucking brilliant analysis. | ||
| Whoever wrote it, Quentin or Roger Avery, whoever wrote it, that's a brilliant analysis. | ||
| Brilliant analysis. | ||
| What's that from? | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Killing Zoe, right? | ||
| That's from Killing Zoe? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I don't know what that movie was. | ||
| That's a... | ||
| I don't know what the movie was. | ||
| That's not from Killing Zoe though. | ||
| No, it's from... | ||
| Something much more recent. | ||
| No, that's not recent. | ||
| That's actually really... | ||
| I think that's like 90s. | ||
| Much more recent than Killing Zoe, no? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've seen that before a long time ago. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now we need to figure that out. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| Find out where it came from. | ||
| But I think Killing Zoe was like in the 90s, wasn't it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, that was a great fucking movie, man. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's what making movies is about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sleep With Me, 1994. Sleep With Me. | |
| Yeah, I remember. | ||
| I saw that a long-ass time ago because I was addicted to Quentin Tarantino. | ||
| I had to see every single movie that Quentin Tarantino was in. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Have you seen this Microsoft thing that they announced? | ||
| It's supposedly for an upcoming Xbox. | ||
| And what it does is it takes a picture of your room. | ||
| So say your TV's on the wall. | ||
| It takes a picture of everything around your room and adds it to the game. | ||
| And it's fucking trippy. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| So imagine like a video game in the future. | ||
| It's a guy sitting... | ||
| Go big. | ||
| scanning room it's saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's just like... | |
| Putting shit on the walls? | ||
| Yeah, but watch this bookshelf pretty soon. | ||
| It knows the bookshelf's there. | ||
| And so... | ||
| That shit looks distracting as fuck. | ||
| It looks better when you see it in HD. The low res of the thing makes it look like shit. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It does that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it really manipulates your environment so it adds it to the game. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So it highlights the bookshelf. | ||
| And the floor a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so it showed pixels, so pixels were coming at you, but it knew the floor was there, so the pixels would kind of ride the floor and stuff like that. | ||
| It's cool, man. | ||
| Well, it seems like that's where it's all gonna go, right? | ||
| No, it's going to the fucking Oculus Rift, dude. | ||
| That's where it's going. | ||
| Fuck the projector shit. | ||
| Have you seen the Oculus Rift? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Have you seen videos of people with the Oculus Rift off? | ||
| It's this consumer-based virtual reality helmet that's coming out that is apparently... | ||
| So insane that when people wear it and they hear someone talking near them while the rift is on, it's confusing. | ||
| It'd be like you sitting here right now and suddenly a disembodied voice starts talking to you. | ||
| Because it like, fully like, it's like, apparently incredible. | ||
| There's videos of it out there. | ||
| Have you seen those, Redband? | ||
| Gotta show people putting it on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Optics, right? | |
| The lenses create a fisheye effect. | ||
| We correct for that distortion. | ||
| So... | ||
| I gotta get one of these. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What I'm gonna do is give you the headset. | |
| If you were standing, you would have your body, your brain just naturally just tell you to start walking. | ||
| You know what would be a really good thing? | ||
| Like put this on someone's head and then like inside of like a train tunnel and have them walk towards the light and come out into the world. | ||
| Show it right when he puts it on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Walk up to like one of these buildings basically. | |
| We can't see what he's seeing, though. | ||
| We just see a guy with some crazy... | ||
| It's cool to see him react at first. | ||
| It's that first thing is there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have to see it for yourself. | |
| Also, that guy is so smart. | ||
| Candid Anthony. | ||
| Okay, so he's going to put it off for the first time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you taking the red or the blue pill? | |
| There he goes. | ||
| Just adjust a little bit. | ||
| Something went pretty good. | ||
| Looks pretty good to me. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| So, before you take off running through the streets of this village, I want you to look left. | ||
| Look right. | ||
| Look up. | ||
| Look down. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And actually look 180 degrees. | ||
| Turn your body and look at me, basically. | ||
| Where I would be, but I'm not. | ||
| So you do have full 360 head track. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So first, just take a look at some of the snow. | ||
| You know, the snow, it's all stereo, so you should see some nice depth to that snow. | ||
| You feel like it's falling on you almost. | ||
| You feel like you're going to catch it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So they finally figured it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, yeah, they've had it for a while. | ||
| They just haven't had the consumer-based one, you know? | ||
| And they've got to like – the other interesting thing in one of the other interviews I saw is they're talking about when they're releasing it. | ||
| And they say obviously they can't release it until people design games for it. | ||
| And it's not as simple as just plugging it into a game because the size ratios are off in a game. | ||
| The characters running around in the game are either bigger than a human would be or generally smaller than a human would be. | ||
| So for it to really work, you've got to design the thing around an actual human size. | ||
| So it's really strange. | ||
| They've got to go through and redesign games based on this fucking thing. | ||
| Nobody works harder and longer hours than game designers. | ||
| Goddamn, I know. | ||
| Those guys work some crazy hours. | ||
| You remember when we were hanging out with Cliffy B, and it was getting close to the release of one of their games, and they said they would just sleep in the office? | ||
| They would just sleep in the office and work for weeks at a time. | ||
| And loved ones would come and visit them at work. | ||
| They would just be gone. | ||
| They'd be at work forever. | ||
| Just to meet a deadline, to get a game out. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The world of video game development. | ||
| That's a lot of hours. | ||
| That's a difficult thing. | ||
| And it's so weird that those guys don't have an Oscars. | ||
| That's going to be in the future. | ||
| Now we get these guys who regurgitate lines somebody wrote, and we're like, oh, great. | ||
| What about these people who are gods creating virtual universes that you can run around inside of? | ||
| Yeah, that's no joke. | ||
| With code! | ||
| Yeah, with code. | ||
| With fucking code. | ||
| They have to type lines of code that... | ||
| Invoke virtual reality. | ||
| They're summoning alternate dimensions with code. | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
| And then you're going to be able to pop on a fucking Oculus Rift and suddenly be existing inside of World of Warcraft. | ||
| I call that my last day on Earth. | ||
| Do you know how nuts that's going to be? | ||
| That and the hamster wheel. | ||
| So you feel like you're walking. | ||
| That's the one fucking problem, man. | ||
| That's going to be the final thing. | ||
| I think they'll just create a warehouse. | ||
| All you need is a gigantic warehouse space. | ||
| So you have a warehouse space and you design the virtual reality game for whatever the space is. | ||
| Say it's an airplane hangar. | ||
| Giant fucking Costco sized building with no trees, no nothing. | ||
| Or wherever pole is, you just replace it with a tree. | ||
| And boom! | ||
| You're off to the races. | ||
| And so you stay inside this building and you live in a reality totally created for this building. | ||
| Or you just plug some shit into the back of your brain stem that makes you feel like you're moving and gradually just transform into a big fat lard. | ||
| Yeah, and the other problem was if you had a warehouse, the real problem would be the only things that you would come in contact with are things that are touching the floor. | ||
| You couldn't really come in contact with anything physical in a virtual reality sense unless you're dealing with some sort of recreated neural impulse, right? | ||
| Like a fake touch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A fake, yeah. | ||
| It's got to be a fake. | ||
| I mean, you can't, you either, you would either have to have someone in like, there's a ball, a virtual reality ball thing you can roll and I've seen it. | ||
| But you either have to have something like that or you would have to simulate a sense of movement. | ||
| Or you'd have to have your brain, your body convinced that it's actually touching a tree so it feels a tree. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe if it was so convincing that your fingers responded to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gloves that you put on. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense though. | ||
| No, it would be some form. | ||
| If you went to touch a tree and it wasn't there, your fingers would just go right through it. | ||
| It would have to stop it. | ||
| It'd have to be a magnetic field that conformed to some kind of shape. | ||
| It would have to be some way that something you're wearing responds to a magnetic field and it creates the sense of a shape being there. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Porn's going to be amazing. | ||
| Porn is going to be amazing. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be just insane fucking. | ||
| You're going to be able to dial up a bunch of people just blowing you all at once, like fighting over a spot on your dick. | ||
| It's going to be... | ||
| Like, hmm, what would I like today? | ||
| Monogamous relationship? | ||
| Ronda Rousey. | ||
| It's weird to think that the one industry that's never gonna stop making money is Kleenex. | ||
| It's just gonna always fucking exist. | ||
| Well, people get biodegradable, man. | ||
| They just go with washable towels. | ||
| Socks. | ||
| Nothing wrong with some hemp towels. | ||
| Clean off your loads. | ||
| Yeah, there's never going to be an end to that. | ||
| There's always going to be cleanup. | ||
| Always got to wipe your loads. | ||
| And as you go tantric, and you absorb them all inside your body, and you become even stronger! | ||
| Isn't that the idea of tantric? | ||
| That you like, you hold on your lows and your body reabsorbs them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you come, you orgasm for like hours. | ||
| Hours. | ||
| Internally. | ||
| Does that shit work? | ||
| Have you tried it? | ||
| I don't know if that works, but I know that there's a woman who had a disease where she constantly orgasmed and she wanted to kill herself. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Bragging bitch. | ||
| She's fine. | ||
| She's like, oh my god, I'm coming again. | ||
| I want to kill myself. | ||
| No, she's in hell. | ||
| Have you seen that interview? | ||
| She's in hell. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| She's putting on an axe so those bitches who can't cum don't kill her. | ||
| So that's the only way she can exist with her wealth of orgasms, her wealth of cumming. | ||
| She's like existing amongst the cum impoverished. | ||
| Women who never come and just all day just... | ||
| That's what women want to do. | ||
| They want to come. | ||
| If you could come all day, you would come all day. | ||
| If you could come with the same feeling, the same like release that you do when you haven't jerked off for like a week. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| When you jerk off with like... | ||
| It comes powering out. | ||
| I mean, it's like there's a lot of force behind it. | ||
| You get some distance. | ||
| If you could do that three or four times a day, you would do it. | ||
| You'd be doing it constantly. | ||
| If you have the same release every time. | ||
| This is something I always thought is, of course, yeah, like if there was like an orgasm pill where you're taking, you have a nine-hour orgasm. | ||
| But this woman made me think that, shit, maybe that's not, wouldn't that? | ||
| No, it looked like she was in hell. | ||
| Would it be too intense? | ||
| Maybe she's one of those chicks who just complains about everything. | ||
| Can you imagine just peeing? | ||
| Wouldn't it be cool just to pee cum, though? | ||
| Like a minute-long pee of just cum. | ||
| That would be crazy. | ||
| That would be crazy. | ||
| There's so much more mass to cum. | ||
| Where would you be storing it all? | ||
| You'd watch your whole body just e-flam. | ||
| Your toilet would be like a lava lamp. | ||
| Your torso just shrinks down. | ||
| You were like 60% loads. | ||
| I just backed up your toilets, overflowing with loads piled onto the floor. | ||
| I joked around about imagine if sperm just ran. | ||
| Like you shot your load out and they just fucking ran around the house just trying to find a uterus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they didn't stay put, they ran like ants. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Maybe somebody out there on the internet can help us figure this out. | ||
| But based on the size of individual sperm, how big would a giant have to be to shoot a load where you could see the sperm swimming inside of it? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's a boy that died. | ||
| He supposedly masturbated 42 times in a day and he died. | ||
| Yeah, that's in Brazil, right? | ||
| Who knows if that's true? | ||
| Somebody could have just made that up. | ||
| How does that kill you? | ||
| How does he like jerking off? | ||
| That's not what killed him. | ||
| If it killed him, he probably didn't eat. | ||
| Or he starved to death, or he fucking fell and hit his head because he was tired. | ||
| How's jerking off going to kill you? | ||
| I don't even understand what you're saying. | ||
| Maybe you would like the abrasions cause you to bleed out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sigh. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm looking for... | ||
| I wanted to go back to that aspartame thing, because I'm looking at aspartame, and when you look on the Wikipedia, it doesn't seem like it's that dangerous. | ||
| Well, I mean, if it was slightly dangerous, I would be in Coke Zero, you know? | ||
| Well, yeah, you gotta wonder, like, how many fucking people are taking it. | ||
| I think it's just, like, the... | ||
| Look at Tammy Faye Baker, late stage cancer videos. | ||
| Is that from Diet Coke? | ||
| She was addicted to Diet Coke and there's no correlation, no connection. | ||
| I mean, except for the fact that she drank, she was one of those people who was addicted to Diet Coke and drank boatloads of it. | ||
| No, I'm not saying there's a correlation. | ||
| She could have been super, super unhealthy in all sorts of ways anyway. | ||
| Yeah, there's just something… It's never been proven. | ||
| It's never been proven, but there is – I think there is like a – some people do think that Diet Coke, like you just said, causes cancer. | ||
| And she drank a fuckload. | ||
| It was like her – she would have like something – some ridiculous amount like 15 a day or 20 a day, like more than you should ever have. | ||
| Wow, that crazy bitch. | ||
| Do you remember, rest of her soul, do you remember when that whole Jim Baker, Tammy Faye Baker controversy was going on? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That was brilliant stuff in the 1980s, man. | ||
| That was brilliant stuff. | ||
| What was the thing? | ||
| God was going to kill him if he didn't get a certain donation level or something? | ||
| Is that what his thing was? | ||
| Well, his thing, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what happened there. | ||
| But it was basically just an affair, right? | ||
| It was an affair with Jessica Hahn. | ||
| I don't know why it became so popular. | ||
| Why did it become so popular? | ||
| Because that was new back in the day. | ||
| Nobody was having affairs like that. | ||
| Yeah, I guess that's what it was. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| When you look at it now, it's so tame. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What, affairs? | ||
| Well, an affair by a preacher with a secretary. | ||
| It would never be something that we would talk about 30 years from now if it happened today. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like, finally we got one. | ||
| Remember, what's-his-face got busted. | ||
| Jimmy Swagger got busted with a prostitute, and he was crying about how he sinned. | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| Have you seen him crying? | ||
| I have sinned. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's so beautiful. | ||
| It's like one of the most... | ||
| Insincere things you can see a person do in their life, and when you watch it, it sort of inoculates you to insincerity. | ||
| So you get to look at it and go, oh, that's what it looks like. | ||
| No connection to reality, no emotional connection to their words, no connection to me as a person receiving these words. | ||
| It's almost sociopathic. | ||
| It's sociopathic and it's craziness. | ||
| And he's like, I've sinned. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's one of my favorite things to watch. | ||
| Let's watch. | ||
| I haven't seen it in a long time. | ||
| Yeah, pull it up, pull it up, pull it up. | ||
| Jimmy Swaggart apologizes. | ||
| Poor silly bitch. | ||
| And then there was the other guy who said he saw a 900-foot Jesus in the middle of the desert. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That's what I was thinking. | ||
| Billy Rod. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| One of them was like legit. | ||
| Jimmy Swagger is the guy who got busted. | ||
| Who saw the 900-foot Jesus? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| You don't follow me? | ||
| Your religious coots? | ||
| No, I like them, though. | ||
| They're amazing to watch. | ||
| You like that Dollar guy? | ||
| Creflo Dollar? | ||
| I record his shit. | ||
| I know you're talking. | ||
| I record his shit because it's so ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to address myself as best as I know how. | |
| To those that I have wronged, that I have sinned against. | ||
| He would go out and get hookers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First of all, my wife, Frances. | |
| God never gave a man a better helpmate and companion. | ||
| With the possible exception of that sleazy hooker. | ||
| Oh, Brian, what is this? | ||
| Why are you playing this one, man? | ||
| Don't play this stupid shit. | ||
| that's not even funny to the great cities of the world yeah don't put this fucking parody bullshit on seconds It's just cool watching him cry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It may be dark days for the Swaggart Church, but as the sky clears... | |
| Oh, even better when English people are talking about you. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| There he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I would ask that your precious blood... | |
| Today they knew all the details. | ||
| Ah, fuck! | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| These motherfucking false prophets. | ||
| Yeah, it's an interesting thing that we have this just deep, deep, deep desire to believe that someone has answers. | ||
| Leadership addiction. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's chimpanzee shit, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Leftover chimp shit? | ||
| Well, it's... | ||
| No, it's the guy... | ||
| The thing is, man, there is a underneath everything There is, I think, this is what makes me different from a lot of people. | ||
| I think some people don't believe this. | ||
| I think underneath everything, there's an intelligence that's filled with love. | ||
| That's just love. | ||
| That thing when you're on DMT and saying, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. | ||
| I think that thing is real. | ||
| And I think that that thing, you don't need a leader. | ||
| You don't need someone to tell you what that thing's saying to you. | ||
| It's your own relationship with that thing and how closely you can approximate what that thing is saying that defines your level of happiness. | ||
| In this incarnation and there's there's people like that who falsely represent that thing who don't you've never really experienced it and that's why it seems like bullshit and Yeah, it seems like bullshit to everybody who hasn't experienced it. | ||
| And when you run into extremely angry people that just have pitfall after pitfall in their life and miserable experience after miserable experience, you realize that they're just so far separated from the frequency of happiness. | ||
| And that sounds like some hippie bullshit. | ||
| The frequency of happiness, really? | ||
| Hey man, some people just live in an economic downturn where there's a shitty economy where they live and there's no jobs and they were born ugly so they're fucked. | ||
| Yeah, that too. | ||
| But there's also people that live like that that are happy as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| In that same environment and they have great friends and wonderful experiences with their loved ones and they're not constantly embroiled in bullshit because they've figured out a way to orchestrate their environment. | ||
| And that's one thing that we somehow or another are sort of responsible for doing. | ||
| Exactly, man. | ||
| I mean, that's the important thing. | ||
| The point that you're making there, that's the most important point, is that it's like, sure, you're going to have catastrophes in life. | ||
| Everyone has catastrophes. | ||
| That doesn't mean you're bad. | ||
| That doesn't mean you're wrong or that you're cursed or anything. | ||
| All that matters is how you react to that. | ||
| And the only way that you're going to react to that in any kind of way that's Not terrified is if you found a way to feel grateful. | ||
| This is something Tom Green said about getting cancer. | ||
| It's this amazing description of the feeling that comes when you have cancer. | ||
| He said it's a combination of terror and gratitude. | ||
| You know, and it's like, because once you get it and you get past it, you're like, fuck, I get to live. | ||
| It really is this sense of like, my God, what a beautiful thing this is to exist. | ||
| The terror thing is never going to go away. | ||
| As long as you're living in space, you're going to be terrified. | ||
| We're in a fucking void. | ||
| Meteors hit us, et cetera, et cetera. | ||
| But there is, once you find that real gratitude, not gratitude where people shake their finger at you, you should be grateful. | ||
| But when you really plug into that fucking thing, goddammit, man, everything lights up. | ||
| It doesn't matter if you're – what the thing is that's happening to you. | ||
| You lose your job. | ||
| Your wife is cheating on you. | ||
| You're cheating on you. | ||
| Whatever the thing is, if you plug into that underlying thing, fuck. | ||
| It's a beautiful, beautiful place and it's a very subversive idea, the idea that everything is OK and that behind everything is just this field of – Just the happiness frequency. | ||
| But there's that stuck feeling and that's the hardest thing to overcome in life when you've started out in a certain direction and you've gotten fairly far in your life but you're really miserable and you have a lot of obligations and you have a lot of expectations and bills and a lot of issues that keep you in this certain shitty environment and people don't know how to manage that and I think that's why one of the most important things to stress Is get off on the right track as quickly as you can | ||
| with your life. | ||
| And by the right track, I mean whatever the right track is for you. | ||
| I don't want to say don't listen to your parents because you might be an idiot and your parents might be dead right. | ||
| But you might have an idea that your parents can't wrap their fucking puny brains around too. | ||
| You might be talented in one way, shape, or form that your father doesn't want to see his creation go off to be. | ||
| And ultimately you are your own person. | ||
| You really... | ||
| There's so many people that have lived their life for other people and they're miserable. | ||
| I've never met an ecstatic son of the owner of a business who runs the business with his father. | ||
| I always see a man who probably would rather have carved his own path in life and is just caught up in the wake of another man because that other man raised him. | ||
| But you see a guy who runs his own joint and they're fucking happy and they have zest and Whatever they're doing, whether they run a pizza place. | ||
| I've met guys. | ||
| There's a deli that I go to all the time in Canoga Park, Cabaretta's. | ||
| Dave, nicest fucking guy in the world. | ||
| He's always smiling, laughing. | ||
| The people there are happy. | ||
| It's his joint, you know what I mean? | ||
| It could be anything. | ||
| It could be a restaurant. | ||
| It could be a fucking Starbucks that's just hooked up right. | ||
| It's your spot. | ||
| People like going there. | ||
| It's like a little spot where people can... | ||
| Have their own little positive, happy energy. | ||
| As long as that's what you want to do. | ||
| If you want to really run a Starbucks or run a coffee shop or run a fucking jazz studio, who gives a shit? | ||
| Whatever the fuck you're drawn to, you've got to do that, man. | ||
| That's so fucking important. | ||
| And people with their... | ||
| There are escape clauses and fucking parachute plans and, well, I can always pull out if this doesn't work and I gotta back up here and then I gotta back up there. | ||
| Man, you better not back up too much, but you gotta travel light. | ||
| You gotta travel light psychically. | ||
| You have to have very, very few options. | ||
| If you really want to make whatever the fuck it is happen, you have to have very few options. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| Remember when we first got to be friends? | ||
| You said something to me when I was sitting at that fucking desk working as a talent coordinator. | ||
| Stuck as stuck could be, dude. | ||
| Like, really fucking stuck. | ||
| You know, I, like... | ||
| I can still remember. | ||
| Flash, you know, like when people will say things to you sometimes and your brain goes... | ||
| And takes a picture. | ||
| It freeze frames it because it's like... | ||
| You listen to that. | ||
| Listen to that. | ||
| And I remember sitting there talking to you at this shitty fucking desk job and you're like... | ||
| You just gotta jump, man. | ||
| You just gotta go for it. | ||
| You just gotta jump in. | ||
| You just gotta go for it. | ||
| And man, that, uh... | ||
| I knew you were right, but goddammit what a terrifying thing it is to hear that at first. | ||
| It's a terrifying fucking thing. | ||
| And maybe making like, if I jumped right when you said that, it might not have been the greatest time. | ||
| You do have to have a little bit of strategy involved in it. | ||
| But yeah, there is where you are right now, and there is where you want to be, and the distance between those two things will create a vertigo. | ||
| Well, you had the most important thing. | ||
| Which is the thing that you wanted to do, you were good at. | ||
| You wanted to be a comedian, you were funny. | ||
| You were creative, you were original. | ||
| So that was the most important thing and the most difficult thing to get. | ||
| I was like, this other stuff is what's holding you back. | ||
| What you need to be doing is just focusing on this thing because you're awesome at it. | ||
| All you have to do is just do it. | ||
| The ability to do it correctly, once achieved, doesn't really go away unless you lose the fucking plot. | ||
| You lose the frequency in life. | ||
| If you're a comic, I expect to get better. | ||
| I feel like I've had better sets these last couple of months than I've ever had in my life. | ||
| I've had better moments. | ||
| I think my moments are better. | ||
| I think new bits are coming together in a better way. | ||
| I'm super, super pleased with things. | ||
| Because I'm concentrating on it, because I've worked at it for a couple of decades. | ||
| And I think that as long as you recognize that that's what happens, that as long as you live your life the way we were talking earlier, the right way, without too much bullshit and distractions, Too many negative karmic moments that flood you with regret and fuck with your creativity. | ||
| That's one of the most important things about being creative. | ||
| One of the most important things for me is being nice. | ||
| When I'm like as nice to as many people as I can and I'm as easy-going as possible and as forgiving as possible, I am the most happy. | ||
| I'm my most happiest when I'm dealing with people and like being forgiving and being friendly. | ||
| And then I have less shit on my mind And then I can tune in to creativity. | ||
| Because I don't understand exactly where my creativity comes from. | ||
| But in a lifetime of trying to figure out what frequency I tune into when I do my best. | ||
| Whether it's drawing, or whether it's writing, or anything creative. | ||
| For me, I have to have all these ducks in a row. | ||
| And the big duck is my own psychic... | ||
| I don't want to say psychic, but my own consciousness, my appraisal of my own consciousness. | ||
| How am I interacting with this world that I'm finding myself in? | ||
| Am I out of control? | ||
| Am I fucking too much gas, not enough brakes? | ||
| Am I too much brakes, not enough gas? | ||
| Am I holding myself back? | ||
| Am I limiting myself with my diet? | ||
| Am I limiting myself with my actions? | ||
| Am I limiting myself with my... | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Is everything cool? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now, if everything is cool, then I can go to work. | ||
| But if everything's not cool, I have to figure out what the fuck's not cool and fix that. | ||
| And if I don't fix that, it'll be bumpy. | ||
| The whole thing will be me trying to duct tape this fucking ship together while it reenters orbit and fucking keep everything from falling apart. | ||
| But as long as you give yourself an honest assessment of how you're thinking and how you're interacting with the world, That's where it gets fucking hard to do. | ||
| It's hard to take that first step and give yourself an honest look at yourself. | ||
| And then once you do that, then it has to sort of become an ethic. | ||
| And you gotta welcome it when other people do it, too. | ||
| Even haters. | ||
| When haters point something out about you that's correct, You know, you gotta, like, accept that. | ||
| Like, yeah, sometimes they get you. | ||
| Sometimes they're right. | ||
| You know, you did something douchey, or you were a little weird there, or you could have reacted a different way. | ||
| And it doesn't even necessarily mean you're meant to. | ||
| Like, sometimes you just, you pick door number two, and it's like, what am I even saying this for? | ||
| Like, you start saying something, it doesn't even represent necessarily how you feel. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| A possibility of how to react, and all of a sudden you're off to the races. | ||
| And then you're like, nah, but you know, how many times have we said that in the conversation? | ||
| Well, maybe that doesn't make sense. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| You know, it's like you don't even know sometimes when you're saying things. | ||
| But when someone calls you out on that, it's probably good for you. | ||
| It's not good for them, because a lot of times haters get fucking completely worked. | ||
| I hope you suck to death on a million dicks and you drown in a world of semen and AIDS. These are the people that get completely ridiculous with their hate. | ||
| And almost all of them are losers. | ||
| That's a real problem. | ||
| When you look at what a hater is, there's no successful haters. | ||
| There's no, like, Bill Clinton's not fucking commenting on YouTube videos, fucking queer, you know? | ||
| No one who actually accomplished anything is a hater, but being a hater is important for people that are trying to accomplish things. | ||
| Having critics and hate can actually help you and fuel you and make you aware of the broad spectrum of human behavior, especially in a void of love and absence of the correct. | ||
| You don't lash out like that unless you are in an absence. | ||
| Unless you have an absence of love An absence of personal pride and accomplishment. | ||
| An absence of feeling good. | ||
| Like you don't feel good so you lash out. | ||
| Because if you wanted to, you could find something every day that you hated and just fill your day with hate. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Anger and hate. | ||
| You could just do that. | ||
| You could just do that. | ||
| But you only do that if you're an idiot. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you idiot is not... | ||
| It's not even idiot. | ||
| It shouldn't be idiot. | ||
| You're stuck in a terrible pattern. | ||
| Yeah, you're stuck in a pattern. | ||
| Terrible pattern that is... | ||
| It doesn't help you in any way, shape, or form. | ||
| And in fact, it limits you by keeping you in this sort of negative... | ||
| Mindset. | ||
| It's hard for me to relate to those haters, you know, the new internet breed of haters because I didn't have that when I was... | ||
| Like a lot of douchebags I can relate to because I can think, oh yeah, I was that kind of douchebag. | ||
| I know what that kind of douchebag is. | ||
| But internet haters is more difficult, you know, like tweet haters. | ||
| But I've noticed that if you get hate tweets, I'll go to their timeline sometimes. | ||
| They're all hate. | ||
| And it's all hate. | ||
| You scan down and it's just one vile thing to as many. | ||
| It's like they've got a list of people and they just are like launching vileness at as many people as they can. | ||
| It's a strange, not just like one every five. | ||
| It's like if you have 48 tweets in a row, you've gone beyond irony. | ||
| Now you're just, you're crazy. | ||
| Like now you're just some weird lunatic firing missiles into the void for no reason. | ||
| It's very strange, man. | ||
| Yeah, and you're choosing to do that. | ||
| You're choosing to try to reach out and affect someone in a negative way instead of concentrating on your own life. | ||
| You have made it more important to do that than anything else you were doing right then because you chose it. | ||
| You chose it. | ||
| As you're writing those things, you chose it above any self-improvement you were doing, any creative work you were doing, any business work you were doing, any personal emails you got to get out. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You chose to call someone a terrible name on Twitter. | ||
| You chose to say, I hope this dumb cunt drowns in a river of AIDS. You decided to put that on Twitter. | ||
| That was your choice at that moment. | ||
| Unless it's really funny. | ||
| If it's funny, then it's different. | ||
| If it's funny, you're not going to have 50. You know what I mean? | ||
| If it's funny, you want to have 50. But it's like, when you go and look, and not only has the person just insulted you, there's an insult to like, weird, to fucking, yeah, just like Anderson Cooper. | ||
| I've seen these texts to Bieber dudes who say they want to kick Bieber's ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Idiots. | |
| Really? | ||
| Idiots. | ||
| MMA fighters are constantly dealing with them. | ||
| And they'll troll you. | ||
| They'll get you locked in on an argument and then you go back and forth. | ||
| One of them I thought was really hilarious was there's a woman who's a comedy writer and she got in an online Twitter feud with Chris Brown. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jenny, what's her name? | ||
| I can't remember, but shit. | ||
| She's very funny, and people are like, he viciously attacked her. | ||
| And that's what I read. | ||
| I go, why would he do that? | ||
| So then I read it, and he's like, damn, I'm looking old. | ||
| And she goes, yeah, isn't it funny being a complete piece of shit as a human being tends to age you? | ||
| I'm paraphrasing. | ||
| I don't know exactly how she said it. | ||
| And then he went at her and this and that, but she started it. | ||
| He didn't beat her up. | ||
| Years later, to have someone sniping at you constantly has got to be annoying. | ||
| And I'm not sticking up for Chris Brown in any way, shape, or form, or anybody that beats up their girlfriend. | ||
| But she started it. | ||
| She decided to tag him in that and tweet him. | ||
| And fuck with him and get him to react to her. | ||
| And everybody's like, oh, he viciously attacked her. | ||
| Like, listen, don't put your finger in the cage if you don't want to get bit. | ||
| You know he beats up women, okay? | ||
| And what are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing by stirring it up with him? | ||
| Well, that's bull baiting. | ||
| Yeah, it's bull baiting. | ||
| She won. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| She instigated a dummy. | ||
| The dummy reacted. | ||
| She analyzed his psychology. | ||
| She knows this is a man who will swing at a lady. | ||
| She came at him with some sassy shit. | ||
| And it's like throwing salmon in front of a bear. | ||
| Clearly. | ||
| But that's not how they reported it. | ||
| It was he viciously went after her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Viciously attacked her. | |
| Like she was weeping under her teeth. | ||
| Verbally attacked her. | ||
| I mean, she started it. | ||
| She was dancing in joy. | ||
| She knew what she was doing. | ||
| In joy. | ||
| The moment that dum-dum responded to her, she must have done a fucking tap dance. | ||
| I wonder because I would think that if there's a guy who's like really violent and you're a woman, I would think just the fact that that guy knows who you are, you can't defend yourself if you ever ran into him. | ||
| Chris Brown? | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| You don't think if Chris Brown, if she said a bunch of mean shit about him and he saw her somewhere, he might palm her face or push her out of his face. | ||
| You mean he might buy her a mansion? | ||
| I'm saying if no one was around. | ||
| No one was around. | ||
| In her mind, she has to realize that if she ran into that guy and no one was there to protect her and there was no security cameras, there was no witnesses, he might do something to her. | ||
| That's reality, okay? | ||
| And that feeling is why it's dangerous. | ||
| That feeling is what... | ||
| I mean, that has to be in her head. | ||
| You start fucking with a guy like that that beat up his girlfriend, In her head, she has to know that if her husband isn't there or some... | ||
| Maybe if her husband isn't there, I don't know who her husband is. | ||
| Her husband might be kind of a pussy. | ||
| He might fold under pressure. | ||
| I mean, you might run into a situation where it's Chris Brown and you. | ||
| And then what do you do? | ||
| What do you do then? | ||
| Dude, I would have to be so stoned to, like, get to that place. | ||
| I would be like, fuck, man. | ||
| If I ever ran into... | ||
| I hope I don't get attacked by Chris Brown. | ||
| You get in an argument with him on Twitter. | ||
| Dude, I got 99 problems and Chris Brown ain't one. | ||
| Well, you're not arguing with him on Twitter where you're a woman and he wants to kick your ass. | ||
| I'm not saying he wanted to kick her ass, but I'm saying if you know a man has already beat up a woman and then she's now locked in online in this verbal insult battle back and forth. | ||
| He's saying he's going to fart in her mouth. | ||
| He's saying he's going to jerk off on her and fart in her mouth and stuff like crazy shit. | ||
| To be a chick, that's got to be a little fucking weird. | ||
| What about the Black Keys drummer and Justin Bieber? | ||
| That was hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, Patrick Carney did a thing where he said something like, Justin Bieber doesn't deserve an Emmy or something along those lines, and the Bieber fans went after him. | ||
| So he just starts retweeting all of their stuff with hilarious answers. | ||
| Always the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was really fucking funny. | ||
| People sticking up for Bieber are hilarious, man. | ||
| But he turned himself into Bieber. | ||
| He made his photo Bieber and changed his name to Justin Bieber. | ||
| And then was like writing swag and all this different shit to people. | ||
| Like they would insult him and he would write swag. | ||
| Stop trying to pretend to be Bieber. | ||
| You're not Bieber. | ||
| You're a fucking loser. | ||
| Swag. | ||
| Swag is such a great word to just say like that. | ||
| Swag. | ||
| Especially if you're in a battle with Justin Bieber's fans, if you just say swag. | ||
| Because he likes saying that. | ||
| The Bieber army. | ||
| They attack. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So does the Britney Spears army. | ||
| Neil Hamburger stirs them up every once in a while where he was getting attacked for a long time by Britney Spears. | ||
| Well, you remember that. | ||
| That video with that guy screaming, leave Britney alone. | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| That video is one of my all-time favorite YouTube videos. | ||
| The guy's lying on his bed. | ||
| He's gayer than a mansion filled with dicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's just, leave her alone! | |
| Just crying with his hair flopping behind him on the pillow. | ||
| It's just, it's wonderful. | ||
| He can't even get out of bed when he's making this. | ||
| He's so gay. | ||
| He's like drawn to the bed like a piece of metal to a giant magnet. | ||
| He's just drawn to a bed like, leave her alone! | ||
| He can't even get up. | ||
| He's just crying looking into his camera. | ||
| Cringe city. | ||
| That woman we were talking about earlier actually killed herself, Duncan. | ||
| What woman? | ||
| The... | ||
| Orgasm woman. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Betrayed by her body. | ||
| She lives in agony, not ecstasy. | ||
| Warning. | ||
| Sexual subject matter. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-oh. | |
| Get your dick out, boys. | ||
| It's just her moaning for... | ||
| Let's just jerk off now so we don't feel bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My worst day... | |
| I had not had medical treatment yet or any kind of medication. | ||
| I had... | ||
| I had 50 orgasms in a row. | ||
| In a row. | ||
| Nonstop. | ||
| This is a Saturday lab sketch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought I was going to die. | |
| Gretchen Malan suffers from persistent genital arousal disorder, a rare condition that makes her physically but not psychologically aroused all the time. | ||
| Doctors do not agree on what causes it, but they do agree on how debilitating it can be. | ||
| Gretchen, who lives in Spring Hill, says she can't work. | ||
| She has tried to get disability income twice and failed each time. | ||
| Income. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess my case had its limited number of appeals. | |
| But yeah, she killed herself, I guess, a couple months ago or something. | ||
| I gotta split, you guys. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| I gotta split, too. | ||
| We were almost wrapped up here at 6-18. | ||
| So, alright, man. | ||
| Well, we have to tell people that you're not going to be with us this weekend. | ||
| Unfortunately, it's some really crazy hell shit. | ||
| Yeah, my mom's super sick. | ||
| I gotta go say goodbye to my mom. | ||
| Yeah, you're like literally say goodbye, like your mom's dying this weekend, possibly. | ||
| Possibly, yeah, maybe a few weeks, but I want to like, you know... | ||
| Make sure you see her. | ||
| I want to catch her while she's like completely aware. | ||
| Yeah, folks in Columbus and Cincinnati, Sam Tripoli is going to take Duncan's place, the hilarious Sam Tripoli. | ||
| So if you want to send Duncan some love, follow him on Twitter. | ||
| It's Duncan, T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L, and send him some love. | ||
| Buddy, listen, man. | ||
| Your health scare freaked me out, man. | ||
| It really did. | ||
| I would hate to live this life without you. | ||
| Thank you, Joe. | ||
| One of my favorite people. | ||
| One of my favorite people to talk to. | ||
| You're just such a unique breath of fresh air in this strange world that we live in. | ||
| Without you, man, I really think that... | ||
| My conversations would be less interesting. | ||
| I've had more interesting conversations with you than I think I've had with anybody ever in life. | ||
| You've made me think about things. | ||
| And I know we feed off of each other in some really strange way. | ||
| We go deeper and weirder when we're together than when we do when we're apart. | ||
| To me, you're just an awesome dude, man. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I love you, too. | ||
| I'm honored that we're friends, and you're a very important part of my life. | ||
| Likewise, Joe. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yes, you've definitely accelerated my evolution in an incredible way. | ||
| And you have mine. | ||
| We have each other. | ||
| We all have for each other. | ||
| That's the reality of... | ||
| A group of people hanging out that enjoy each other's company and that are all sort of like-minded and, you know, honest about life and sort of trying to get through it together. | ||
| We help each other. | ||
| We've created our own community, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| I think... | ||
| We're a part of it. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm proud to be. | |
| We're all part of it. | ||
| We're all part of it. | ||
| So that's it, you dirty fucks. | ||
| Thank you very much for tuning into the podcast. | ||
| Thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself. | ||
| 10% of any and all supplements thanks to Hover. | ||
| Hover is one of our new sponsors. | ||
| Hover is a domain name registration company that has Pretty much you can get your dot-coms there. | ||
| You can get your dot-nets. | ||
| It comes with free privacy protection. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just looking for the hover.com forward slash rogan. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Hover.com forward slash rogan. | ||
| You get 10% off your domain name registrations. | ||
| And they have some great things like free, whois, privacy, and very easy to use. | ||
| I used it recently. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| We support them. | ||
| And they're owned by the same people that own the team. | ||
| Go to deskwatt.tv. | ||
| Brian has all new versions of the kitty cat shirts in. | ||
| So go get them while they're hot before his new kitty cat gives you nightmares. | ||
| Can I say one thing? | ||
| May I say one thing? | ||
| Yeah, you can say anything you want. | ||
| At the end of the month, I'm going on tour no matter what. | ||
| At the end of the month, I'm going on tour. | ||
| It's on my website at dunkintrustle.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
East Coast. | |
| East Coast, New York. | ||
| Laughing Skull, Atlanta, Georgia, Boston. | ||
| It's ten dates. | ||
| I can't remember them all, but it's at my website. | ||
| We gotta do something too, man. | ||
| Anything you're not doing on your own, let's do some more stuff together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yes, man. | |
| Fuck yeah, let's do it. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Yeah, get up to Toronto, to the Comedy Underground! | ||
| You know what we gotta do too? | ||
| We gotta get back to Santa Barbara. | ||
| Santa Barbara was fucking badass. | ||
| That was badass for sure. | ||
| That's an awesome community. | ||
| Hawaii! | ||
| Yeah, let's do Hawaii. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| We got a lot of shit going on. | ||
| North Carolina, thanks a lot. | ||
| You guys are the shit. | ||
| That was a lot of fun. | ||
| Alright, you fucks. | ||
| We will see you tomorrow. | ||
| Same bad time, same bad channel. | ||
| We got a lot of crazy shit coming up, including this Sunday when we get back from Columbus. | ||
| We have a special podcast with Dr. Stephen Greer at night. | ||
| This is the doctor that's fucking communicating with aliens. | ||
| He's the one that's responsible for the Disclosure Project. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Yeah, he's putting together all those high-ranking military officials... | ||
| That's tomorrow? | ||
| ...that said they've come in contact... | ||
| No, Sunday. | ||
| ...that they've come in contact with Alien Life and that we're constantly being contacted by Alien Life. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck, okay? | ||
| And he's a smart dude, so this is going to be really fascinating. | ||
| Badass. | ||
| Fascinating shit, you fucks. | ||
| All right, we love ya! | ||
| Love ya. | ||
| God is love. | ||
| What else, Duncan? | ||
| Hare Krishna! | ||
| Hare Krishna. | ||
| All right. |
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