Jan. 28, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:32:05
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Ting. | ||
| If you go to rogan.ting.com, you will save $25 off of any of their high-end cell phones or service. | ||
| If you're not aware of what Ting is, we've talked about it on this podcast many times. | ||
| The only people that we'll ever do commercials for are people whose companies make sense to us. | ||
| People whose companies, if they have a good ethic to them or if they're selling something that's really cool. | ||
| That's the only people that we're interested in getting involved in. | ||
| And we got involved with Ting. | ||
| Because they're what I would call a non-evil company. | ||
| Their approach is you don't need to have contracts. | ||
| Just give people a decent service at a reasonable rate, and you're going to make money. | ||
| You don't have to make more money and be a cunt. | ||
| And that's sort of the idea behind it. | ||
| You can quit anytime you want. | ||
| It's on the Sprint backbone, so it's a legitimate, high-end business. | ||
| Broadband service and a legitimate high-end cellular connection. | ||
| So it's not like it's Bob's cell phone company. | ||
| He's making his own wires. | ||
| They use Sprint. | ||
| So what you're getting is all of the power of a big network. | ||
| But not all the bullshit. | ||
| You can have a couple people on the same account and share minutes. | ||
| If you don't use your minutes, you get credited in your next account. | ||
| No one is trying to fuck you over at this company. | ||
| And that's what we like about them. | ||
| And that's why we represent them. | ||
| So go to rogan.ting.com and save yourself $25. | ||
| We're also brought to you by... | ||
| Brought to you? | ||
| Brought to you. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Bladeslinger from Kerosene Games. | ||
| If you've never played any games on the iPad, one of the things that can be really annoying is if a game is not designed for the iPad. | ||
| If it's ported over for a computer, then it's like... | ||
|
unidentified
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The controls are all fucked. | |
| Yeah, they're clunky. | ||
| Yeah, this is designed specifically for iPads and iPhones. | ||
| One of the cool things about living in today's era is that you get amazing visual processing power from these little tablets. | ||
| Like, something that would be a giant computer just a few years ago, just ten years ago, is now a little thin glass and metal piece of awesomeness. | ||
| And you can play this game on it. | ||
| And it's, you know, really high resolution graphics. | ||
| It's a super cool game. | ||
| It's only $2.99 and you can get it on iTunes and it will be available very soon for high-end Android devices. | ||
| They're shooting for February, I believe. | ||
| But it's a very cool game. | ||
| If you go and look at the reviews, We're good to go. | ||
| I was gonna bring in a gift pack for our buddy here, Alex Honnold, but I forgot it, unfortunately. | ||
| But on it, if you're interested, we'll send you a bunch of shit. | ||
| It's a supplement company that I'm a part of. | ||
| I own a piece of it. | ||
| And the reason why I got involved with it was exactly what I said earlier about commercials. | ||
| The idea of selling something to someone where you know it's not a rip-off. | ||
| The idea of like a reasonable exchange. | ||
| Instead of having the ethics of business that a lot of people have where you're just trying to squeeze every last ounce of profit Our idea is to sell the best shit we can find as cheaply as we can. | ||
| We'll sell you all of the cool food items that I've gotten into, that we've talked about on the podcast, including bulletproof coffee, which I'm drinking right now. | ||
| That's why sometimes I... That's one of the side effects of bulletproof coffee. | ||
|
unidentified
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You got mad goobers? | |
| Yeah, I got goobers. | ||
| I get a little bit of cottonmouth, too, if you know what I'm saying. | ||
| This Bulletproof Coffee, if you're not aware, and this is a fascinating thing that I've just become aware of, there's a real issue with foods with something called mycotoxins. | ||
| And what mycotoxins are is when you get coffee and you don't know how it was taken care of, or it's even in corn I've been reading, what happens is if it's stored incorrectly or harvested under certain conditions, it can develop fungus. | ||
| And that fungus can actually be toxic for your body. | ||
| So if you're drinking coffee and you're like, oh, I feel like shit, you might have just poisoned yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
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Poisoned yourself right now with this delicious Starbucks. | |
| Dave Asprey is actually doing research on all this stuff to try to find out exactly what the effects are, how prevalent they are. | ||
| But they have absolutely been measured. | ||
| This is a fact. | ||
| There's a show called Dangerous Grounds where a guy is a coffee expert. | ||
| He goes to all these different really exotic parts of the world where they cultivate coffee. | ||
| Because a lot of the coffee that you buy, like my favorite stuff comes from Hawaii. | ||
| But a lot of coffee comes from like really fucking freaky places. | ||
| I guess it grows better. | ||
|
unidentified
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We should get to the bottom of this because I live right next door to a Starbucks. | |
| Like every single day I go there. | ||
| Everybody knows me. | ||
| I wonder what we would have to do as far as test their coffee. | ||
| You could test my fucking ball sweat and it's probably all Starbucks. | ||
| Why would I test your ball? | ||
| You are the most unscientific person ever because who knows what kind of toxins are going into your body. | ||
| It's not like your body's a purity filter, spring water comes out of it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Isn't that what sweat is, though? | |
| It's getting rid of the toxins? | ||
| No, you don't have to test you to find out if you're getting it from Starbucks, because we'd have to only feed you Starbucks for that scientific project to work. | ||
| Well, I don't eat or do anything except a Trent of Starbucks for the first six hours I'm awake. | ||
| Well, dude, shit you've eaten the last couple weeks could turn up in your system. | ||
| That's why people fail drug tests, dummy. | ||
| The point being, there's a big difference between coffee that has been cultivated from a single source and processed the way the stuff's processed. | ||
| And we sell it cheaper than he does! | ||
|
unidentified
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Dude, if I'm getting poisoned by Starbucks this whole time... | |
| I really think people are. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Because I drank some Starbucks this weekend, and I'm not talking shit on Starbucks. | ||
| I like Starbucks. | ||
| I drink it all the time. | ||
| It doesn't taste as good. | ||
| It doesn't feel as good. | ||
| My body feels different when I drink it. | ||
| I think it's not their fault. | ||
| I think it's something that people are just not that aware of. | ||
| I think people have to be aware of it now. | ||
| There's a legitimate issue with things that you can't see that are on your food that can really fuck you up. | ||
| We know there's poisons out there. | ||
| We know there's poison mushrooms. | ||
| I don't know why it should surprise people that some fungus that grows on some food is really fucking shitty for you. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is the Tower 7 of coffee. | |
| But it's not! | ||
| There's a lot of science on mycotoxins. | ||
| It's no Tower 7. It's a fact. | ||
| If you go and look at mycotoxins on corn, it's really kind of creepy, man. | ||
| Corn is fucking terrible for you, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, that means you're all poison. | |
| Like corn syrup and all that shit, you're probably getting a little bit negligible, a little bit of toxins with that shit as well. | ||
| Yeah, well, just Google it. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| They might be wrong. | ||
| The science might be all horseshit. | ||
| They might have made it up just to go after the corn industry because someone fucked someone's wife. | ||
|
unidentified
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Fritos and Starbucks in a Blendtec blender. | |
| But I do know, yeah, you can do that if you're really down. | ||
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unidentified
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Make a Frito shake. | |
| Yeah, something we carry. | ||
| Blendtec blender is a perfect example. | ||
| Something we just started carrying because it's just awesome. | ||
| It's a good thing to have, you know. | ||
| We sell fitness equipment, kettlebells, battle ropes, and there's an awesome Extreme Kettlebell DVD video that we sell as well, you know, if you... | ||
| An introduction to high-end, these crazy workouts that people are putting together like this one that we have from Keith Weber. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| It's a great workout. | ||
| It's about, I think, I mean, I can't get through 45 minutes of it. | ||
| Especially with a 50-pound kettlebell. | ||
| It will make you puke. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's just a fantastic workout. | ||
| It's one of the best things to have where all you have to do is just press play and follow along with it. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| And we can't keep these things in stock. | ||
| They're selling like crazy for that very reason. | ||
|
unidentified
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So it makes you puke. | |
| So it's a way to work out and then throw up. | ||
| So you're becoming bulimic and that's how you're getting fit. | ||
| Yeah, you're getting thin. | ||
| You're throwing up. | ||
| You've never worked out so hard. | ||
| You're throwing up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Never. | |
| That sounds awful. | ||
| You've got to put in your time, son. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm sex. | |
| Go to Onnit. | ||
| Yeah, he'll throw up after puke. | ||
| No, I feel like puking sometimes after sex. | ||
| I bet you do because you can't believe somebody fucked you. | ||
| I bet you just get in the bathroom and you're sick with yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, it's more of like a heart attack thing. | |
| Onnit.com. | ||
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| And if you haven't been there for a while, go and check it out because we've got a bunch of new crazy shit there including Killer Bee Honey, Himalayan Salt. | ||
| I don't know if any of that stuff is really good for you, but it sounds badass. | ||
| Alright, you fucks. | ||
| Alex Honnold is here. | ||
| We are going to talk to this young man about some crazy shit. | ||
| Alright, so strap in and prepare yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
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Alex Honnold, greetings. | |
| Hello. | ||
| Very nice to meet you in person and very nice to have you here on the show. | ||
| I'm super psyched that you decided to come and join us because... | ||
| I watched one of your videos. | ||
| I've seen several of them online. | ||
| For folks who don't know, Alex is what you call a free solo climber. | ||
| Is that how you would describe it? | ||
| Yeah, you could say that. | ||
| And he essentially climbs gigantic scary mountains With no aid. | ||
| You don't have ropes. | ||
| You just climb it with your hands and your feet. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, occasionally. | ||
| Occasionally? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Normally I climb with ropes. | ||
| That's just special occasions. | ||
| But you do it a lot. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of videos of you doing this. | ||
| You say it occasionally. | ||
| For the average human being, if they did something like this once, they would sit around the campfire, kids. | ||
| Grandpa's going to tell you about how he climbed the mountain with his bare hands. | ||
| And everybody would go on and on about it like it was a once-in-a-lifetime insane... | ||
| You know, death-defying event. | ||
| How many times have you done it? | ||
| Well, how many times have I solo- Free solo climbed? | ||
| Well, I mean, it depends on how hard, you know? | ||
| I mean, I free solo easy routes all the time, but, you know, the big hard ones that you've seen videos of, I mean, that's a little more infrequent. | ||
| Have you ever had a close call? | ||
| Oh, it all depends what you call a close call, you know? | ||
| But no, I haven't had any, like, serious accidents or anything. | ||
| Well, have you ever had a moment where you're like, oh shit, like, this could be a problem? | ||
| Well, I mean, certainly some moments where you're like, oh, this could become a problem, but never like, oh, it's all going downhill and it's about to come apart. | ||
| But have you ever gotten to a point, I mean, I assume your process is you first climb it with ropes to find out where your route would be? | ||
| Yeah, generally. | ||
| Actually, do you know anything about climbing? | ||
| Have you climbed or anything? | ||
| No, never climbed. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because, like, within climbing, you know, there's more of a context for it. | ||
| But the thing is, I mean, generally, there's already a route established. | ||
| You have, like, a little topo. | ||
| You have a map that tells you where you're supposed to go. | ||
| So people have already gone before you? | ||
| Yeah, for the most part, the things that I've soloed are established routes that people have done before. | ||
| And for the most part, I've done them before, too. | ||
| So I already kind of know the series of movements that I have to make. | ||
| But you had to go through them once. | ||
| So the first time you went through it, you followed a map of people who had already been there? | ||
| Yeah, generally. | ||
| I mean, I have... | ||
| It's called on-site when you do something without ever having done it before. | ||
| So I have on-site soloed... | ||
| Big new routes before. | ||
| Dude, my hands get sweaty talking to me. | ||
| I just want to tell you right now. | ||
| For real. | ||
| My hands are getting sweaty when I'm thinking about this. | ||
| We're watching a video right now of you on 60 Minutes, and that was an established route that you were climbing. | ||
| Yeah, so that route was put up in the 60s, I think, or maybe the 70s. | ||
| They started doing this in the 60s? | ||
| Yeah, but so when they established it, they used pitons and hammers and they like wailed their way up the mountain, you know, because that was kind of the style of the day. | ||
| I think they did over multiple days. | ||
| And then in the 70s, it got done in a day for the first time. | ||
| And then, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's just kind of the gradual progression of style. | ||
| So climbing as a sport has been around for a long time. | ||
| Well, climbing as a sport is, like, rooted back to alpinism. | ||
| People, like, you know, climbing in the Alps in the 1800s and all that. | ||
| I mean, people have always climbed the mountain. | ||
| I mean, look at all the monks and stuff in the Himalaya. | ||
| What attracted you to this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just like climbing on things. | ||
|
unidentified
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Why do you hate ground? | |
| This has been since you were how old? | ||
| How old are you now? | ||
| I'm 27 now. | ||
| I've been climbing all the time, like in the gym and stuff, since I was 10, I think. | ||
| It just was attractive to you? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, as a kid, I loved climbing trees, I loved climbing buildings, I'd like to play on stuff, you know, climb the roof, whatever. | ||
| And then my parents read about this gym opening inside, like a climbing gym, so I went and started climbing inside. | ||
| What do your parents think about this? | ||
| Well, I'm surprisingly supportive. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, she just kind of trusts me to do what I like to do and do it well and make good decisions or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, make good decisions. | ||
| That's a huge understatement. | ||
| It's one thing you say, you know, Hassan, if you want to get into the insurance business, you've got to make good decisions. | ||
| That's one way you can use it. | ||
| Yeah, but the thing is, anybody in any course in life has to make good decisions. | ||
| Yes, you're correct. | ||
| I mean, because if I was going out partying every weekend, I'd probably have almost as high of a risk of death You know, like driving drunk and all that kind of stuff is what I'm doing. | ||
| You're probably right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's like, it's all just how you view risk and reward, you know? | ||
| It certainly is. | ||
| But that, I mean, that really is an understatement when you're saying making good decisions. | ||
| You're climbing up these things. | ||
| Like, what is the tallest thing you've climbed? | ||
| Oh, like 3,000 feet, maybe? | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus! | |
| Oh my God! | ||
|
unidentified
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Holy shit, man! | |
| Well, yeah, but the difference between 3,000 and 75 doesn't make that big a difference, you know? | ||
| As far as death. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, once you've got 60, you're pretty much hosed. | ||
| But doesn't it feel like a freakout when you're up there? | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, no. | |
| To me, the appeal is the bigness. | ||
| I look at a huge face and I'm like, that looks rad. | ||
| If I look at a 60-foot face, I'm kind of like, nah, that looks okay. | ||
| But when you see a really huge, impressive wall, you're like, that's inspiring. | ||
| That's what I get psyched about. | ||
| Do you like people watching you do this? | ||
| Not particularly. | ||
| And I've done very little souling that's actually live and watched. | ||
| So most of the videos that you've seen and stuff are repeated afterward. | ||
| Well, actually it's funny because the one that you're queuing right now is semi-live. | ||
| And the 60 Minutes thing was live because they're a legitimate news organization. | ||
| They had to shoot the real thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Did it feel weird for you to have people filming you on ropes beside you? | ||
| No, so that's the thing is that generally when I film on projects like that, I do things that are well within my abilities, kind of comfortable and easy and whatever. | ||
| So the 60 Minutes thing, even though it looks awesome and it's really cool, that's actually kind of like a moderate route. | ||
| It's not breaking new ground for rock climbing. | ||
| I mean, it had never been soloed before, and it's pretty hard. | ||
| But mostly I just chose something that was aesthetic and cool. | ||
| It was good enough, but it's not like... | ||
| Did you hear what you just said? | ||
| It had never been soloed before. | ||
| That's a crazy thing. | ||
| Well, there aren't that many people that solo are. | ||
| Not that many folks are into it, so you kind of have your pick of the litter. | ||
| Well, if there are that many folks into it, how many of them aren't around anymore? | ||
| Yeah, it depends how you count. | ||
| I can only think of one... | ||
| Really high end soloist who actually died so long. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think, yeah. | ||
| Only one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who was he? | ||
| John Vacker. | ||
| He was actually kind of like a, you know, childhood inspiration. | ||
| Spell his last name? | ||
| B-A-C-H-A-R. Okay. | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| He fell so long. | ||
| The thing is, he was kind of older. | ||
| I mean, he was maybe 50 or something. | ||
| And he had a car accident and had some like nerve damage and like, you know, who knows what actually happened. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Like maybe he broke a hold. | ||
| Maybe he just, I don't know. | ||
| But like he had, you know, like back issues and things going on because he had this like horrible car accident. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So, it's one of those things where it's not like a clear-cut, like, well, I mean, yeah, I mean, it is clear-cut. | ||
| He fell off the mountain and he died, but, you know, you look at it, because he was by far the best of his generation for, like, the 80s and early 90s, and actually the 70s until the 90s, basically. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| Now, when you see a guy and that's how it ends for him, and he's a free soil climber, do you look at that and say, you know what? | ||
| Everybody goes. | ||
| I mean, that's kind of a cool way to do it. | ||
| Definitely not like that's a cool way to do it. | ||
| That's horrible. | ||
| I mean, honestly, he basically broke everything in his body and he lay there for hours and died. | ||
| I mean, that's like a horrible, horrible way to die. | ||
| Well, he didn't die instantly? | ||
| No, he was out at like a 60-foot cliff by his house or whatever. | ||
| So he probably fell like 50 feet. | ||
| He broke everything in his body and he bled out. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| I mean, it's like a horrible thing to happen. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you fell like 2,000 feet, yeah, you would splat. | ||
| You would just explode like a bag of water. | ||
| But from 50, that's pretty horrible. | ||
| Yeah, that sounds like a terrible way to go. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it totally sucks. | ||
| But, I mean, the thing is, you know, he lived his whole life doing that kind of thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, he'd obviously confronted those kinds of issues in his life. | ||
| You know, he made his choice, and that's how it worked out, you know? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How many people are doing it? | ||
| If you had to guess, is it a... | ||
| Well, so earlier I said the difference between high-end soloing and recreational style. | ||
| So if you're counting recreational, just going out and climbing fun routes after work or whatever, there are tons of climbers that go soloing. | ||
| But high-end style, like pushing it on hard, you know, hard, hard routes, like the kind of videos that you're watching where you're like, that looks insane. | ||
| Then right now there's maybe a half dozen dudes in the world that have things similar like that, you know. | ||
| But you are known as the one who does the most ridiculous routes. | ||
| You're the one who's known as the guy who... | ||
| Well, in the U.S. right now, anyway. | ||
| Who else is doing this? | ||
| Where is this popular? | ||
| There are a couple of dudes in Europe who have done... | ||
| Maybe not at this moment, they aren't doing anything crazy, but that certainly recently have done really hard things. | ||
| I mean, there's a history of soloing all around the world. | ||
| This is completely new to me. | ||
| I mean, I had seen, like, maybe, you know, I had randomly gone across videos on the internet of people climbing things, but I really had never seen anything where people were climbing without ropes. | ||
| So when I first saw you doing it, I mean... | ||
| I mean, there's a rich, like, tradition of it, especially in California. | ||
| Actually, in Southern California, all the best climbers in the country in the 70s came from SoCal, and they were all, they were called the Stone Masters. | ||
| And Joshua Tree, which is just local, has a huge history of Solong. | ||
| I grew up hearing Solong stories and thinking it was cool and whatever. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, there's a total tradition of it. | ||
| So do you make a living doing this? | ||
| I do now, yeah. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And how did that happen? | ||
| Do you have sponsors? | ||
| Yeah, so I have sponsors. | ||
| I sort of picked them up through the climbing community as I went. | ||
| And the sponsors just give you money and they pay you every month and you just go climbing? | ||
| Yeah, it's totally awesome. | ||
| Are there competitions or do you just go wherever you want to go and people follow you and the publicity helps them? | ||
| Is that how it works? | ||
| So there are competitions in climbing, but it's kind of like skiing or something where it kind of subdivides into like Olympic style competition skiing. | ||
| And then there's like big mountain type dudes who make videos and just like go rage in Alaska. | ||
| So I'm kind of one of those like big mountain type dudes that just goes and rages and makes videos and does whatever. | ||
| Like I don't do competitions. | ||
| It's kind of like two different sports. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to be rushed. | ||
| That doesn't seem like something you would want to race. | ||
| And who would I compete with? | ||
| Nobody else even likes to do this kind of stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Doesn't that sound crazy, though? | ||
| You're talking about 300 million people in this country, and there's maybe like five other dudes that are doing what you're doing. | ||
| Well, maybe five other in the world. | ||
| In the world? | ||
| Okay, in this country, you're the only guy. | ||
| No, there's another dude who's a little older than me. | ||
| Do you guys look at each other weird? | ||
| Like, yeah, man. | ||
| I can climb better than you. | ||
| No, definitely not. | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| No, there are a handful of dudes in the States. | ||
| And things you never know because so much of Solong just has to do with motivation. | ||
| Because the actual technical difficulty of the climbing isn't very high. | ||
| The thing that I did on 60 Minutes is actually a pretty easy route. | ||
| It's very moderate. | ||
| A lot of climbers who've only been climbing a few years could climb that difficulty level, but they just would never want to do it without a rope. | ||
| They don't have that motivation to be like, I want to climb a huge face with no protection. | ||
| Now, when you say that it's no big deal that you were the first person to free solo something, that is a big deal. | ||
| You're just being humble. | ||
| You are. | ||
| You're being humble. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Completely insane. | ||
| I'm not saying you're completely insane for doing that. | ||
| I'm saying you're Your point of view is very self-deprecating. | ||
| So your idea that that's not crazy to be the first person to climb up it in the known human race without ropes. | ||
| It's kind of fucking crazy, kid. | ||
| It seems more normal when you do it all the time. | ||
| I'm sure, but I'm just saying to a person like me, it's pretty impressive. | ||
| Do you go up something with ropes and say, you know what, I see enough spots? | ||
| Do you map it out in your head? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| So, like, for the 60 Minutes one, for example, I'd climbed it a month before just to, like, see if it was reasonable, and I was like, okay, I could definitely do this. | ||
| And then maybe 10 days before I climbed it again with more, like, intention. | ||
| And there are basically two hard parts on it, and the rest is sort of, like, filler, you know, like, moderate climbing. | ||
| Like, the type that I could easily do first try or whatever. | ||
| Now, when you say hard parts and you get to a place, what makes it a hard part? | ||
| So the crack is like thinner, so you have less of your finger inside. | ||
| So you have to like pull harder and the feet get bad and it gets steeper. | ||
| So the angle of the walls is steeper. | ||
| Basically it just becomes more strenuous. | ||
| But so both of those two sections were maybe, you know, 10 movements long. | ||
| So they're maybe like 15, 20 foot sections. | ||
| And I just have to memorize like 10 or 15 moves where I'm like, okay, and then I do my left hand to that little thing and then I pull really hard and then I raise my foot, you know, that... | ||
| So as you're going up this in a rope, are you just visualizing going along it, or are you actually fitting it with your hands? | ||
| Yeah, I'm doing both. | ||
| Well, so I'm climbing it, and then some of it I marked with chalk, which is totally normal for climbers to put a little tick next to things, so you remember which part of the crack is good. | ||
| And then I would memorize, like, okay, this is the way to do it. | ||
| And then while I had the rope on, I tried a couple different ways on one part to see which felt more secure, things like that. | ||
| And so do you take notes? | ||
| Yeah, so then afterward when I was all done, that evening I drew out the sequences. | ||
| I have a climbing journal. | ||
| I keep track of things like that and just make notes about life, whatever. | ||
| And so I just mapped out the sequences so I could remember it well. | ||
| Would you ever publish that? | ||
| Well, it wouldn't make any sense to anybody. | ||
| It's a bunch of lines. | ||
| Dude, people would buy it. | ||
| That would be dope as fuck. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| For a coffee table book? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll sell you some lines. | |
| That would be cool as fuck for a coffee table. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't think I have enough volume for that kind of thing either. | ||
| But maybe someday, you know, if I didn't... | ||
| Dude, I really think that would be a dope coffee table book. | ||
| Your maps... | ||
| Tons of little roots and stuff. | ||
| And your just musings on life in a book. | ||
| For real. | ||
| I think people would see and be like, what the F? No, with photographs of the actual mountain itself, I think that would actually be a cool book. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I mean, if it was, yeah, if it was interspersed with real photos, like this is what it corresponds to, maybe. | ||
| Yeah, I'm telling you, man. | ||
| I don't even climb. | ||
| I would buy that shit. | ||
| DJ. I would. | ||
| Yeah, I'm telling you, that's a golden opportunity. | ||
| Jump on it, publishers. | ||
| Find this young man. | ||
| Shut it up! | ||
| Have you ever been wrong? | ||
| Have you ever done a route and said, well, I'm going to go solo it now, and been like, you know what, this is an error. | ||
| I shouldn't have done this. | ||
| Not so much. | ||
| I've had a handful... | ||
| I mean, I wouldn't call it an error, but I've had a handful of times where I've gone out to solo something without pre-inspection, where I'm just like, oh, I'm just going to go up it and see how it goes. | ||
| Then I go maybe halfway up, and I'm just like, ooh, I'm not feeling it, and then I just climb back down. | ||
| So do you proceed if you know for sure that you can't climb back down? | ||
| Because you can't always... | ||
| Can you always climb back down? | ||
| Generally, I can climb back down. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| And if I know that I'm about to, like, pass a point where there's, like, no turning back, then, you know, I sort of know that that's a big deal when I think about it. | ||
| You know, I think it through. | ||
| Because on a 60-minute piece, that was actually something that I... Yeah, the narrator, he was talking about, like... | ||
| Is he incorrect? | ||
| Actually, so I just had lunch with him. | ||
| He's the guy I was hanging out with in whatever, Venice or wherever it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| And... | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| So he was a big, big climber in the 70s, and he established a lot of those routes and all that. | ||
| And I mean, I know what he means, that it is harder to downclimb, but the thing is, like, nowadays, I mean, I don't know, I practice downclimb, and, like, I could downclimb that. | ||
| You know, for sure. | ||
| So he was just hating? | ||
| No, he wasn't hating, but from his perspective, people don't downclimb stuff like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Maybe it was a little bit of hyperbole. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| But no, I mean, I'm pretty sure that the route on 60 Minutes, if I absolutely had to, I could have hiked to the top and then downclimb the thing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They could have been like, oh, we're filming it in reverse. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| But it would be a lot less rad like that. | ||
| You'd be like, that's fucking stupid. | ||
| That guy's climbing down the mountain. | ||
| It's still just as scary, but I see what you're saying. | ||
| It doesn't give you that satisfaction that you get climbing up the mountain. | ||
| You do a really hard hike and then you freaking do an extremely dangerous down climb. | ||
| Have you ever climbed to the top of something and then realized, holy shit, I have to climb down because I can't walk down? | ||
| There's no other way to get down? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| I've had a handful of epics like that. | ||
| A couple of my gnarliest experiences have been topping out routes that you conventionally repel down. | ||
| But since I don't have a rope on me, I'm like, okay, I'll just pioneer some kind of new descent. | ||
| And so a couple of them involve... | ||
| Do you know Zion National Park in Utah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's like a really pretty river canyon. | ||
| It's like sandstone. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| But it's like a thousand foot wall. | ||
| And then the rim of the canyon is like 2,000 feet above it. | ||
| And it's really, really steep sandstone. | ||
| And normally you would climb a thousand feet and then rappel back down and be like, oh, sweet. | ||
| So I climb a thousand foot wall. | ||
| And then I'm up there and it's like 2,000 feet of really steep sandstone. | ||
| And it was all covered in like snow or sort of like consolidated hail was all messed up. | ||
| Super hard to scramble in, you know? | ||
| Anyway, and then it started snowing as soon as I popped out. | ||
| So I was like clawing my way up this hail and like this driving blizzard. | ||
| It's a blizzard while you were up there? | ||
| Yeah, well, so the day that I decided to do it, I was a little angstful, and I was like, I'm going to do this, goddammit. | ||
| How will be the time? | ||
| This is last February. | ||
| It was a year ago. | ||
| So the forecast said that it was going to start snowing at noon, and I was like, well, you know, I'll finish by then. | ||
| So I finished at like 1130. It started snowing right on schedule. | ||
| And I was like, oh, no problem. | ||
| I'll hike off. | ||
| The thing is, even once I made it to the rim, which took me forever, and I was getting pretty wet and pretty cold, and it was kind of messed up. | ||
| And visibility was so low, I was worried about getting lost. | ||
| And then once you're up on the top, it's just a big plateau, and I was hoping to hit this one trail that it was like a 10-mile hike on the trail back around to get back to the car. | ||
| And even that, it's all just a field of snow and, like, white-out blizzard style, and I was just running along in my climbing shoes being like, God, I hope I can find something. | ||
| But miraculously, I found the trail and made it all the way out and there's no problem. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And you're by yourself in all these experiences. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty... | ||
| No satellite phone, no nothing. | ||
| Satellite phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just... | |
| Why would I have a satellite phone? | ||
| I'm only climbing the top of a mountain. | ||
| No, I mean, well... | ||
| The thing with that, though, is like, so the whole time I did, I was like, this is hardcore, you know? | ||
| But then as soon as I was back at the car, I was like, well, it's like noon. | ||
| I had a very eventful morning, but like, it doesn't even feel like a full day, you know what I mean? | ||
| The whole thing, like, the whole thing, like, feels surreal because you're like, did I just do that? | ||
| Like, that was weird. | ||
| You know, it only took a few hours, but you're just like, whoa. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Was that the most hair-raising experience you've ever been on? | ||
| No, for sure no. | ||
| No? | ||
| For sure no? | ||
| Well, it was a very invigorating morning. | ||
| You know, you could call that. | ||
| What is the most hair-raising experience you've ever had? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it depends what you call hair-raising. | ||
| What's the most difficult climb you've ever done? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, again, I need tighter definitions. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Has there ever been a climb that you did where you realized, wow, that might have been the most... | ||
| Have you ever shit my pants? | ||
| Yeah, I have not yet shit my pants, but I've come close. | ||
| So for free-souling, maybe the first time I free-souled Half Dome, which was in 2008, I think. | ||
| At the time, I think it was maybe a little bit much for me. | ||
| You know, like when I finished it, I was like, ooh. | ||
| Not that I got away with it, but that's kind of the feeling. | ||
| You get to the top and you're like, whoa. | ||
| So you had nerves. | ||
| You had a weird feeling. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I was like, yeah, because one of the hardest and least secure parts of the whole climb is up at the very top. | ||
| So you're at the top of a 2,000-foot wall. | ||
| And it took me like 250 to climb the whole route, so I was probably up there at 235 at this like super hard part. | ||
| I'm already kind of frazzled, you know, because you've been really focused for like two and a half hours, like trying really hard, and you're just getting a little tired and whatever. | ||
| And then you get to the hardest part that's also the least secure. | ||
| It's a really insecure style. | ||
| It's like there are no actual holds to hold on to. | ||
| It's just like a bald slab, and you just weight your feet. | ||
| And so you just have to... | ||
| Weight your feet? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| It means, like, so you're wearing really tight climbing shoes. | ||
| It's like really precise edges on them, and you basically just... | ||
| It'd be like if you took that brick wall and you leaned it back and made it a little smoother and then all you could do is stand on the little edges of the bricks. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Well, if you tilted it back to like 87 degrees, you could probably walk up that wall with no hands but just the edges. | ||
| We were joking around about that. | ||
| You would look at this wall and start thinking about roots. | ||
| Do you see a wall and look for areas to climb on them? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Is there a difference between a guy who does your type of stuff, like mountain climbing stuff, and And those crazy dudes who climb buildings? | ||
| No, I mean, you're still just climbing stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you practice on the floor? | |
| Do you, like, practice climbing on the floor? | ||
| Wouldn't that be called laying down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, like, like, like... | ||
| Brian, shut the fuck up. | ||
| I mean, I do push-ups. | ||
| Does that count? | ||
| Do you have a strength or conditioning program that you do, or do you just do a lot of climbing? | ||
| A little bit, when I'm motivated. | ||
| I did a bunch of planks this morning. | ||
| Does that help your climbing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's the thing, but it makes my core rails rock. | ||
| If your climbing is done right, how much of it actually does involve physical strength? | ||
| A fair amount. | ||
| A fair amount. | ||
| Eventually. | ||
| The thing is, so what I was just talking about, a slab, you know, that's all about technique and precision with footwork and all that kind of thing. | ||
| That's all mental and, I mean, you have to have toned calves, whatever. | ||
| But then if you tip a wall back the other way and you're climbing out some kind of like overhanging ceiling... | ||
| Then, I mean, it really does come down to having strong arms and strong fingers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pull yourself up. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, in general, for a recreational climber, you should be using your feet and you should be using good technique and you should keep your weight over your legs. | ||
| But when you get into really high-end climbing, it's like, you know, you just got to be able to pull really hard, too. | ||
| I saw a video or a photograph of you holding on to some pillars or some beams and doing chin-ups. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Can you do that? | ||
| You really can do chin-ups? | ||
| Well, yeah, I mean, there's a photo of it. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean... | ||
| Well, if the beam is really ergonomic. | ||
| You can actually lift yourself up and move and not just hold there? | ||
| Yeah, I could do, like, two pull-ups on those beams before I'd fall over. | ||
| I mean, it was really hard for me to hold on to them. | ||
| Yeah, I would imagine, though. | ||
| But that's got to be pretty rare that someone could even do it, too. | ||
| Well, but, I mean, there are plenty of dudes who are a lot stronger on that kind of thing than I am. | ||
| Is that, like, because I've heard crazy stories about these free solo climbers being able to do chin-ups with one finger, and is that, like, a thing that you could do that? | ||
| Right now I could probably do two. | ||
| Two fingers? | ||
| When I was a kid I could do, like, a one-finger, one-arm. | ||
| I think now I'm too heavy. | ||
| One-finger, one-arm, chin-up. | ||
| Yeah, I mean hanging off like a sling, you know, like a little piece of rope or something. | ||
| That's the photo of you hanging there. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Yeah, classic. | ||
| That chalk stuff's huge, huh? | ||
| Well yeah, I mean the same as gymnasts and everything. | ||
| Keeps your hands dry. | ||
| Yeah, do you ever solo something without chalk? | ||
| You look at it and you're like, I don't need chalk for that photo. | ||
| No, you pretty much always take a chalk bag. | ||
| Unless it's like real easy and I'm just scrambling up it. | ||
| Have you ever lost your chalk bag? | ||
| I have. | ||
| Actually, it's a... | ||
| It's funny you ask. | ||
| This last summer, like, one of the biggest things that I've done, soloing the triple, which was, like, climbing three big faces in Yosemite in a day. | ||
| The second thing that I climbed was El Capitan, which is, like, a 3,000-foot face, and I climbed it through the night, and I accidentally forgot my chalk bag at the bottom. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah, and so when I was all ready to start climbing, I was like, Oh, damn it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And actually, it was kind of messed up because the route was kind of wet because it rained a lot the day before. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| And so it's the kind of thing where you really want a chalk bag. | ||
| But I was like, well, bummer, you know? | ||
| And then I did the first 800 feet and then I actually passed a party who was sleeping on the route because most people climb it over like four days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| Yeah, well, I mean, a 3,000-foot face is like... | ||
| So you saw a guy that was, like, camped out in one of those crazy outcropping tents? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Yeah, they were actually... | ||
| Well, so it's kind of a standard ledge. | ||
| It's, like, where people generally camp on the roof. | ||
| Oh, it's a ledge. | ||
| Well, it's, like, the size of half this table. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's, like... | ||
| But so there were two parties of two guys, and they were all camped on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And so they each had the little tents that you're talking about. | ||
| So that, you know, because there isn't that much room. | ||
| So it's half the size of this table, and everybody's on it, and a big party? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but that's pretty comfortable compared to hanging on a vertical face. | ||
| You're like, oh sweet, I can stand. | ||
| You can take off your harness if you want. | ||
| Anyway though, so I passed these dudes in the middle of the night who were camping there and the guy gave me a chalk bag. | ||
| I was like, thank God. | ||
| So then when I got to the top, I tied that off to this little tree so then he got it back later. | ||
| So that's pretty cool. | ||
| So you just kept going. | ||
| You climbed the whole thing. | ||
| And once you got the chalk bag, you're like, dude. | ||
| Then it was game on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What did they say to you when you're like, I forgot my chalk? | ||
| We're like, what the fuck, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit. | |
| I think they were like, huh. | ||
| Well, you know, the fact that they're up there for like five days, you know, and then this dude climbs through and he's like, um, excuse me, do you have any chalk? | ||
| And they're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Like, what's this guy doing, you know? | ||
| But, you know. | ||
| Actually, so I've met that guy again since then. | ||
| I think that's his favorite story because I've probably met like half the climbers on the west coast who are like, Hey, you met my buddy Steve. | ||
| You gave him his chalk bag. | ||
| Or he gave you his chalk bag. | ||
| I met like a dozen people who were like, hey, I met this guy. | ||
| I think they were pretty psyched just because it's a funny story. | ||
| Oh, it's a very funny story. | ||
| It's a very crazy story though, man. | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| Your reality is your reality. | ||
| To you, it's just normal. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's normal. | ||
| But I'm serious. | ||
| I'm talking to you. | ||
| My hands are sweaty. | ||
| I get sweaty. | ||
| I think about high heights and I get the butterfly thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can just think about it being high up. | |
| Yeah, I can do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And freak myself out. | |
| Do you look at, like, when you're at a building and stuff, do you think, I can climb this pitch? | ||
| Do you look at things like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, buildings I do look at, and I'm like, oh, that would be rad, except you get arrested, so I kind of nip that in the bud, you know? | ||
| But with rocks, for sure. | ||
| I mean, you see some things, you just, you're like, that looks rad, and I'd love to climb that. | ||
| Do climbers ever do things like that for publicity stunts? | ||
| Like, know that they're going to get arrested, but just climb something anyway? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, surely you've heard of Alain Robert, the French solos guy who did the New York Times building and, like, climbed pretty much every skyscraper in the world. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Probably peripherally I've heard of that guy, but I've never really heard anything about him. | ||
| When you talk about dudes soloing skyscrapers, he's the only dude soloing skyscrapers. | ||
| Yeah, like any skyscraper you've heard of being soloed, it's that guy. | ||
| And they don't lock him up for what reason? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| I mean, he's been arrested tons of times. | ||
| Like, he topped up some building in Japan and got punched in the face by a security guard. | ||
| You know, he's had all kinds of weird stories. | ||
| But I met him in Poland at this, like, film festival thing last year. | ||
| And I was like, oh, it's great to meet him, actually, because he was, like, a really good climber, like, in the 80s and 90s. | ||
| And then he sort of transitioned into, like, he doesn't even call himself a climber anymore. | ||
| He's just like, oh, you know, I just climb buildings. | ||
| It's fun, whatever. | ||
| It's, like, his job. | ||
| So does he sell books? | ||
| Yeah, he does like speaking stuff. | ||
| Some of the buildings I think he gets paid for because you know like in the Middle East they like unveil like the biggest building in the world or whatever and then they pay him to climb it. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| There was a guy, I don't know if it was him, but someone was doing something recently. | ||
| It was on the news. | ||
| I was walking through an airport or something. | ||
| The guy had suction cups and was climbing up some fucking glass building. | ||
| Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible movies. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it was an actual real person. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, some guy. | ||
| I didn't think that shit existed. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, it does. | ||
| Yeah, he was climbing up a glass building, and he was using suction cups. | ||
| You can actually do it. | ||
| That seems like it would be scary. | ||
| Yeah, it was real scary. | ||
| He was also, at one time, it was another video of another building, I guess. | ||
| He was in a crack like this. | ||
| It was like a V crack. | ||
| Going smaller as it got away from him. | ||
| And he was climbing the wall that way. | ||
| Just pressing up against the wall and climbing that way. | ||
| Is that standard? | ||
| Like a standard technique? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Do you ever get yourself in a situation like that where that's how you're climbing? | ||
| You're pressing up against the wall? | ||
| And that's actually a lot easier probably than it might look to you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I mean, generally when you're doing any kind of counter-pressure type stuff like that, like pushing two sides, I mean, you're using your whole body as opposed to just your fingers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, I mean, it's not that strenuous. | ||
| Depending on what the angle is and everything. | ||
| My god. | ||
| Well, you know how little kids love to chimney up door frames or hallways or whatever? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know where you put your back against one side, your feet against the other? | ||
| I mean, that's pretty stable and it's easy to do. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Here's the guy, see? | ||
| He's got the... | ||
| Oh yeah, that's Alain Robert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does he have suction cups though? | |
| No, no. | ||
| Not in this one. | ||
| But that's actually quite easy. | ||
| I mean, he can go no hands right there, you know? | ||
| So then when he has to do the movements in between levels... | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| You think this looks easy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, I mean, not that I'm diminishing his accomplishment, but that particular feat of climbing does not look hard at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should become a tagger. | |
| You'd be like the ultimate tagger. | ||
| Yeah, but that goes back to not wanting to get arrested, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why you dress up as Spider-Man or something. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Put that... | ||
| You'd have to carry paint with you and stuff. | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| You gotta fuck up your whole balance thing. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just a sticker. | |
| Something called Bucket hanging off me. | ||
| This Alan Robert guy... | ||
| He started off doing the regular climbing and then just decided there's no money in this shit. | ||
| Actually, I think part of it was that he had a couple of kind of terrible groundfalls where he fell soloing and got all messed up, like different things. | ||
| And so I think he now has a somewhat restricted range of motion, like can't move his arms in certain ways. | ||
| And so soloing on rock is kind of out of the question a little bit because real rock requires such a diverse range of movements because you never know where the holds are going to be or what direction they'll be facing. | ||
| Whereas buildings are extremely uniform. | ||
| So with a building, he can look at it and be like, okay, I'm going to be... | ||
| Like that little clip you just saw, he did that exact same movement over and over for a thousand feet or however big that building is. | ||
| So to you, this is like... | ||
| I guess it's just another example of something where if you don't know how to do it, it looks impossible to do. | ||
| Yeah, but if you know how to do it, you're like, it's going to be hard. | ||
| I should know that by now. | ||
| I mean, isn't every guest that you have on like that? | ||
| You know, where you're like, astrophysics, that's crazy. | ||
| And you're like, actually, it's real boring. | ||
| All you do is study physics for 30 years. | ||
| No one has ever said that astrophysics is boring. | ||
| That hasn't, but I know what you're saying. | ||
| It becomes commonplace. | ||
| Don't you do MMA shit or something? | ||
| You punch people in the face? | ||
| Well, I don't really hit them that much. | ||
| Most of what I do is jujitsu these days. | ||
| So you throw them into a wall? | ||
| You strangle them. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you ever climbed during an earthquake? | |
| Is that a fear of yours? | ||
| Like having this big earthquake while you're... | ||
| That would suck a fat one. | ||
| Same as if you're driving over a bridge and the bridge falls down. | ||
| Yeah, but you're in a car and if it's like a movie, the car might hit the water and then you can open up a window and you can get out. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But the connection between looking at people doing martial arts, it totally makes sense to me. | ||
| I watch a video of an Aikido master or something throwing people around the room. | ||
| Let me tell you something, son. | ||
| Most of that's horse shit. | ||
| Yeah, most of that's horse shit. | ||
| Ikeo is a martial art that really works if the other person doesn't know anything. | ||
| If you have no idea what this guy is doing or if you're cooperating. | ||
| And that's what a lot of it is. | ||
| The guy is running at you and he's committing to a very specific technique and you're throwing him on the ground. | ||
| But you never see that applied in a UFC match. | ||
| Very rarely. | ||
| You'll see some of the principles of misdirection and manipulating bodies and throwing bodies with leverage. | ||
| But the way you see it in an Aikido demonstration, that shit never happens in the real world. | ||
| It just doesn't. | ||
| There's a lot of that left over. | ||
| There was a time where martial arts had a great mysticism attached to it, but because of the UFC, because of mixed martial arts competition, it's become much more pragmatic, and now they really understand what works and what doesn't work. | ||
| So Aikido is one of those martial arts that has some practical application, but has a lot of fuckery. | ||
| There's a lot of shit that just doesn't work. | ||
| So apply that mindset to climbing. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Climbing is like the same. | ||
| Yeah, I have friends that'll watch like a martial arts thing on television. | ||
| Like, how the fuck did that guy just do that? | ||
| That's a wheel kick. | ||
| That's like standard technique. | ||
| So that's how you're looking at this client. | ||
| When that guy is on those two buildings, or those two sides, that's uniform, that's a hanger. | ||
| That's easy. | ||
| There's nothing to do with it. | ||
| Everyone's got their thing, you know? | ||
| Some people don't have their thing, sadly. | ||
| Well, they should find their thing. | ||
| They should knit. | ||
| They should start a garden. | ||
| Everybody can do something. | ||
| Everybody should have a thing, though. | ||
| I completely agree. | ||
| I had a friend who was getting divorced, and... | ||
| But that's one of the things he said. | ||
| He said, he goes, if I find another woman, he goes, I swear to God, I'm going to find someone who likes something. | ||
| He goes, anything. | ||
| He even actually said rock climbing. | ||
| He said, if she's in a fucking rock climbing. | ||
| He was so mad. | ||
| Well, he married someone who's a little bit vapid. | ||
| It was a fascinating situation. | ||
| Everybody needs something to get him out of bed. | ||
| Not just to get you out of bed, though. | ||
| Just to make life fun. | ||
| Well, yeah, to be fired up about it. | ||
| To make life interesting. | ||
| And it affects your health, too. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It affects how you feel. | ||
| If you have something you really love to do, if there's anything I could ever tell anybody that's out there that's young, that's got a lot of people that are telling them to take a safe route. | ||
| Hopefully there are no young people listening to this. | ||
| A lot of young people listening to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope they're always 16. 8 to 14 is our turn. | |
| Yeah, we go for 12-year-olds. | ||
| 12-year-olds are more malleable. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| Oh man, it's on the internet. | ||
| I'm sure there's fucking 12-year-olds listening. | ||
| I get emails from 16-year-olds all the time. | ||
| I just don't like to curse with kids, you know? | ||
| Why? | ||
| It's just a word. | ||
| Seven-year-olds are old enough. | ||
| That's sweet. | ||
| I feel bad with little kids. | ||
| Well, you shouldn't because they're going to say it when they become adults. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Everybody should say fuck. | ||
| Yeah, but it's nice to preserve it for a little bit, you don't think? | ||
| No. | ||
| I say keep using it, but use it in moderation. | ||
| No one to use it. | ||
| It's like comedians. | ||
| When comedians use the word fuck too many times, you over fuck, it ruins the impact of the word. | ||
| But when you don't use it that often and then you use it, boom! | ||
| It works. | ||
| My point is, there's nothing wrong with little kids saying fuck. | ||
| It's adorable. | ||
| Didn't we watch that movie? | ||
| What the fuck was that movie with Nicolas Cage? | ||
| The kick-ass? | ||
| Kick-ass. | ||
| Remember the little girl? | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that, man. | ||
| We're silly people with magic words. | ||
| But if there's anything that young people can hear that can benefit them, the big one is... | ||
| Do what you're drawn to. | ||
| Whatever you're drawn to, go to that. | ||
| Just find something you love to do because your life will be different than someone who just works. | ||
| Because we can all get by just working and have hobbies and have family and friends that keep us entertained and have people at work that we enjoy being around. | ||
| So we can have a good time working. | ||
| I'm not saying you don't have a good life if you're a person who works. | ||
| What I'm saying is, if you have the choice, and you do when you're young, you do when you don't have commitments, you don't have a mortgage, you don't have a family, Go to what you fucking love. | ||
| Go there. | ||
| Find whatever it is, because you're a perfect example of that. | ||
| What you do would make me shit my pants every day of the week. | ||
| I have no desire. | ||
| No pants. | ||
| I don't ever look at mountains and go, fuck, man, I need to climb that shit. | ||
| Never. | ||
| It's not in me. | ||
| It doesn't appeal to me. | ||
| I look over the edge of buildings and I go, ah! | ||
| And I fucking run away and hide. | ||
| I am so not into that. | ||
| But I love the fact that you are. | ||
| I love the fact that people are so different. | ||
| Whatever it is, ones and zeros inside of your system make you look at a tree and want to fucking climb it. | ||
| I don't know what that is, but I think it's awesome. | ||
| It's shocking and it's weird, but it's awesome. | ||
| And it's a perfect example of that principle in action. | ||
| You've always been drawn to climbing. | ||
| You climb and look at you, you happy bastard. | ||
| That's why I was saying that my family has always been surprisingly supportive, you know, because I think my mom sort of values exactly what you're saying. | ||
| She's like, that's what he loves to do. | ||
| He's doing it. | ||
| He's working hard at it, doing it well. | ||
| Like, you know, can't do any better than that. | ||
| You got a cool mom. | ||
| If everybody had a mom like that, we would be a better world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have any fears? | |
| Like, are you scared of shih tzus or anything like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, nothing crazy, you know. | ||
| My friend's girlfriend has arachnophobia. | ||
| Like, legit. | ||
| Like, if you say spider around her, just say the word spider, her throat starts to close up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And she can't talk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She freaks out. | ||
| Brian, you know who it is. | ||
| She was there the other day, Aubrey's girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the one that threw the fake spider on? | |
| Yeah, you remember that? | ||
| Dude, if you say the word spider around her, her throat starts to close off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| For no reason. | ||
| That's kind of weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she has no idea. | ||
| She has no life experience with a spider. | ||
| There's never been any, you know... | ||
| Yeah, no spider molestations. | ||
| She was molested by a tarantula when she was a baby. | ||
| You know what it probably was? | ||
| I bet someone in her chain of ancestry. | ||
| This is just totally unscientific theory by me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a daddy long leg? | |
| I have this idea of genetic memory. | ||
| I'm not a scientist, so I shouldn't even be talking here, but I'm going to say it anyway because it's just a thought. | ||
| The idea is that when people have reincarnations, when people say, like, oh, I'm a soldier that lived in the 1600s and I've been reincarnated and I can tell you about the boat that I was on that got sunk by the British troops. | ||
| When people have those stories, I really wonder whether or not sperm, whether or not genetics, whether or not when a person makes another person, how much information is actually getting to that kid? | ||
| It might be a lot more than we have access to. | ||
| And it might very well be that when you are a person who has who many X of thousands of traceable generations, That all that information of all those people's lives might be somehow or another encoded in our DNA. So in her past, somewhere along that chain of life, someone had a fucking horrific experience with a spider. | ||
| And maybe almost died. | ||
| And shits their pants every time they see spiders. | ||
| And somehow or another that wacky gene, dink, finds its way into her little personality toolbox. | ||
| And now you say spider around her and her throat closes shut. | ||
| I mean, it makes sense to me. | ||
| I mean, obviously I know nothing about genetics. | ||
| That doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't make sense to you. | ||
| I mean, you can get raped and feel that for like a month, but that will go away, you know? | ||
| Okay, where do instincts come from then? | ||
| Why do we have instincts? | ||
| Why do little children, why are they afraid of monsters if they live in cities? | ||
| Why is everybody afraid of things with big teeth that's in the dark? | ||
| I'll tell you why. | ||
| Because at one point in time, we used to be hunted by leopards, okay? | ||
| We would go out of our tents at night and we'd get fucked up, you know, because we were little monkey people. | ||
| And that shit is still in our head. | ||
| We're still terrified of monsters in the night. | ||
| And I think that's a genetic thing. | ||
| I think there's certain instincts that humans have that are relayed through generation after generation of experience after experience. | ||
| It only makes sense that somehow or another that shit's encoded in your DNA. But human instinct is different than personal experience. | ||
| Well, I think it's not because memes, they know that racism can be transferred through genetics. | ||
| There's direct evidence that people who do not have exposure to racism but their parents were racist and they were adopted are more inclined to become racist or have racist ideology. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Where's that from? | ||
| They did some study on memes where they had identical twins. | ||
| I watched some documentary on the concept of memes. | ||
| Aren't memes cultural genes, basically? | ||
| It's not just. | ||
| It's ideas, period. | ||
| And the concept is that there's a certain amount of things that you learn in life that's relayed to your children. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why children of musical people become very musical. | ||
| It's very common that people have children and their children, not just because it's the environment they grow up in, but they show an instant proclivity Towards some sort of a thing that you were very good at that wouldn't have to do with your physical genetics as we think of it as forms as body type and athleticism and things along those lines, which we've already assumed transfer on and we know transfer on. | ||
| But I think there's also life experience and mental things to transfer on. | ||
| It doesn't mean that you're going to be racist because your dad was racist, because we know that's not the case with people that grew up with a racist dad. | ||
| I have a friend whose dad just can't not be racist, no matter what it is in the news. | ||
| He's like an Archie Bunker type dude, which is kind of funny, but he's just so racist. | ||
| My friend, like as liberal as they come, has no inclination towards any sort of judgment of anybody. | ||
| And it's probably just His response to growing up with this idiot, you know, he's sort of figured out how dumb it is, you know, he's rebounded from it, which is pretty common with people. | ||
| But if he hadn't been around that guy and been in different environments, I mean, who knows how much of it is nature and nurture, but the concept is that some of it is being transmitted through information, through genetics. | ||
| I think it makes sense. | ||
| So this poor bitch, somebody got jacked by a spider in our past. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I might be right. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| What's so funny? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, like, her great-great-great-grandmother was, like, sitting there eating a pie once and a little spider bit her, and she was like, oh! | |
| I know a girl who got bit by a fucking brown recluse in her pussy. | ||
| It was in her underwear. | ||
| She pulled her underwear on, didn't know the spider was in there, and the spider bit her fucking pussy. | ||
| And a brown recluse is... | ||
| The most horrific spider in North America. | ||
| In fact, it doesn't poison you. | ||
| It literally turns your flesh into dead flesh. | ||
| So what happened to her? | ||
| Her pussy died! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you imagine? | |
| Does she still have a pussy? | ||
| Is it just a hole? | ||
| It's dead. | ||
| It died. | ||
| Did it really? | ||
| Her pussy died. | ||
| That's tragic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awful! | |
| I don't know the extent of the damage, but I have never seen a brown recluse bite that didn't do some damage. | ||
| I don't know how quickly she got to the doctor. | ||
| But essentially, the toxins kills all the flesh around it to the point where you have to carve it out. | ||
| Yeah, it leaves like a big dead hole. | ||
| It's really disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, so she has a hole in her hole. | ||
| There's probably a hair stoker around it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't even say it. | |
| Don't say it, you son of a bitch. | ||
| They did do something with Jeremy Horn, one of the MMA fighters. | ||
| He had a brown recluse sting on his leg, and he had like, it was like a golf ball hole. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| He had like this giant hole that had just eaten through his leg, and he had to like keep gauze in it and everything. | ||
| It's happened to a lot of guys. | ||
| These fucking brown recluses, they'll climb in your shoes, you know, and you just put your shoe on and it'll sting you, and your foot's jacked. | ||
| Yeah, I poured a scorpion out of my shoe in Yosemite. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You didn't know it was in there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh, this is before you put your shoe on? | ||
| Yeah, thankfully, yeah. | ||
| I was going to put my shoe on and poured out a scorpion. | ||
| It was like, huh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How poisonous are scorpions? | ||
| There's different levels. | ||
| It's not like a brown recluse. | ||
| No, it probably would have been fine. | ||
| Some of them fuck you up, and some of them just hurt real bad, right? | ||
| Like a beast? | ||
| And I've heard the little ones are real poisonous, but I think it's just painful. | ||
| It's not like you're going to die. | ||
| We used them on Fear Factor, but we used the big giant ones, which are really not that bad. | ||
| Yeah, which I think aren't as bad. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but they fuck you up. | ||
| That's counterintuitive. | ||
| Yeah, they look horrific, those big black... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They look so evil, but they're just intimidating. | ||
| What is fear factor or fear factor? | ||
| Fear factor, yeah. | ||
| What did you do with that? | ||
| You were the host or something? | ||
| I was the host, yeah. | ||
| I read it online. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| You just told people they were going to get messed up by weird animals and stuff? | ||
| Do you spend all your time climbing trees and shit? | ||
| Well, we didn't ever have a TV and stuff. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's one of those things I've heard of. | ||
| You never had a TV? No, we had a TV, but it was in my parents' room and we didn't have cable. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't see that much TV. Wow. | ||
| Fear Factor was a game show. | ||
| And people got tortured, right? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| They had to do things that were difficult. | ||
| Like sometimes they would have to flip a car off a building. | ||
| Sometimes they would get stung by scorpions or they'd have to eat bugs. | ||
| Or drink a picture of cum. | ||
| Or they could say no. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Like bullsemen? | ||
| Like Red Bull, you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Red Bull. | ||
| No, it's white. | ||
| And it was donkey. | ||
| Yeah, they had a drink. | ||
| Wait, for real? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's what got the show canceled. | ||
| That got the show canceled? | ||
| Yeah, that was it. | ||
| That's where they drew the line. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Capital letter E. Capital letter N-U-F-F. Enough. | ||
| Would you drink a picture of Donkey Kong for the chance to win $50,000? | ||
| Not for the chance. | ||
| If you were definitely getting 50 grand, you would do it? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's not that big a deal. | ||
| That's what I never understood about those shows. | ||
| If you had to do any of those things, it can't be that bad to do. | ||
| But if you're just doing it for shits and giggles, why would you ever just let yourself get stung by scorpions for fun? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This was warm and curdled. | |
| There was a top, hard layer of cum. | ||
| No, there wasn't. | ||
| No, there wasn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was... | ||
| It actually was... | ||
| Everything had to be... | ||
| Sanitized. | ||
| Yeah, temperature controlled to make sure it didn't... | ||
| Curdle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Curdle. | |
| Make sure it didn't harden up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was there a yellow oil on the top of it that just kind of like sat there in the middle? | |
| Oil? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's wrong with your cum? | ||
| Your cum's broken. | ||
| Too much Starbucks or whatever. | ||
| Mycotoxin pool. | ||
| I bet if you took a syringe and stuck it in that yellow stuff and pulled it out, it'd be pure mycotoxin. | ||
| Or DMT. That's your cum. | ||
| It's just all pure toxin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you extract DMT from cum? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what the exact contents of cum are. | ||
| You're extra talkative today with dumb shit. | ||
| Is there something happening over the weekend? | ||
| Did you hit your head? | ||
| Well, you can extract it from anything. | ||
| Did you hit your head? | ||
| No, you can extract it from humans and plants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but... | |
| Cum? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cum is sperm. | |
| Look, can you get brain cells from cum? | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's DNA in cum. | |
| Cum can make a brain cell by combining with a woman's egg and making a baby. | ||
| But you don't get brain cells out of cum, you silly bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you get brain cells in grass? | |
| Do you understand that this is a podcast that people listen to? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you get brain cells in grass though? | |
| Do you understand that? | ||
| Are you aware of that concept? | ||
| How do you extract DMT from grass then? | ||
| Okay, stop. | ||
| This is too dumb. | ||
| This is too dumb. | ||
| Can't do this. | ||
| See what I have to deal with every day? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That's a kid who grows up with nothing but TV. No parents. | ||
| They put him in front of the fucking TV. They never answered a question once. | ||
| They broke him. | ||
| Well, tragedy. | ||
| Tragedy for you because you've never been on a show before. | ||
| You didn't know what you were expecting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guy thought he was going to come on here on some regular 60 Minutes type shows. | ||
| Yeah, I was expecting 60 Minutes. | ||
| Super professional, super dialed. | ||
| How did 60 Minutes find out about you? | ||
| The producer was like an amateur climber. | ||
| He was kind of into it. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So it was his idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And actually, he had to pitch it a bunch of times too, he said, because he pitched it and they were like, "Well, that sounds retarded." And so he pitched again and they were like, "No, who cares about climbing?" And then he said that finally he cut himself his own little highlight reel type deal from stuff off the internet, whatever, and then showed it to his boss. | ||
| It was like, "Look, it's this." And they were like, oh yeah, let's do that. | ||
| Oh, visually, it's so stunning. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| How did they miss that? | ||
| If you just tell somebody, though, there's this kid that's basically homeless that rock climbs a lot, you know, they're like, that sounds stupid. | ||
| How did you feed yourself before the 60 Minutes thing? | ||
| I had sponsored before 60 Minutes. | ||
| Actually, 60 Minutes didn't even change my whole sponsorship scene. | ||
| I already had all the climbing stuff. | ||
| The 60 Minutes just catapulted me into the mainstream, but I've been a pretty good climber for years before that. | ||
| So how did people find out about you before? | ||
| Like climbing, word of mouth, whatever, like climbing magazines. | ||
| Because it's such a small community. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fairly small community. | ||
| What were you doing for a living back then? | ||
| Well, so, for a couple years, um, so I dropped out of college after one year. | ||
| I was going to UC Berkeley to do engineering. | ||
| And you're like, there's no climbing in this room. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get me out of here. | ||
| I was like, this is kind of, I wasn't super fired up on it. | ||
| For engineering, what was the idea? | ||
| I was, I don't know, I was going to do civil engineering, like build big structures or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wasn't like super excited about it though. | ||
| And then, uh, and then I kind of stopped and then I went climbing for a while. | ||
| And so for the, like, I spent a couple years just kind of road tripping and climbing and then I had sponsors and did it more. | ||
| When you first left college, what did you do? | ||
| Did you get part-time jobs and just climb everywhere? | ||
| It's slightly more complicated. | ||
| My dad died this summer before I stopped going to college. | ||
| First off, I got invited to Youth Nationals, like the Youth World Cup type thing, because I did well at U.S. Nationals. | ||
| And so it gave me an excuse to be like, I'm going to take the next semester off and just like go to Europe, do this youth comp, and then travel Europe and climb a bit, you know? | ||
| So I was like, oh, I'm going to take next semester off. | ||
| And then my dad died that summer. | ||
| And so, you know, I was taking the semester off and then he left enough money for my sister and I to finish school, like life insurance, you know, for us both to finish college. | ||
| And so I went to Europe, you know, did this little comp, didn't do very well, whatever, and then just never went back to college and then used the life insurance to like travel and climb for a couple years. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So when you first started doing that, did you ever believe that you could get to a point one day where you'd be a professional? | ||
| I didn't even know there were professional climbers. | ||
| It's such a niche little thing. | ||
| All I knew was that I loved going climbing and that there wasn't anything else that I'd rather be doing and that I wasn't super fired up on school. | ||
| So I was just like, well, I'm just going to go on a road trip. | ||
| The road trip is kind of like a classic climbing thing. | ||
| Everybody goes on the road trip and just travels and climbs and follows the good weather. | ||
| So I just did that for a few years. | ||
| That's just like a climber community thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most climbers do that, basically. | ||
| Because you kind of have to because you have to be at the different rocks and different places in good weather. | ||
| So you have to constantly move. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So while you're doing this, you're just thinking, hey, I've... | ||
| I've got the time to do this now. | ||
| I'm enjoying doing this now. | ||
| Let's just do it because I want to do it. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| I mean, you know, at the time I was like, oh, maybe if I get really good, they'll give me some free shoes. | ||
| You know, because, I mean, for sure I knew that you could get sponsored, whatever that meant. | ||
| You know, it's like, oh, they'll send you free ropes and they'll give you free shoes and they'll give you a harness. | ||
| Like, that's so rad, you know? | ||
| And so I picked up little sponsors like that where I was like, oh, no, I'm getting my free shoes. | ||
| I'm so psyched, you know? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And then it sort of has, like, slowly snowballed, you know, where, like, oh, no, they're actually paying me. | ||
| Like, my first rope sponsor was the first people to pay me, and they were paying me $100 a month. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, I'm making $100 a month. | ||
| A rope sponsor? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What are those ropes made of? | ||
| Like, nylon, same as every other. | ||
| Does anybody make a hemp one? | ||
| That's like the old school that's been replaced. | ||
| Is the nylon better? | ||
| Yeah, the nylon's way better. | ||
| It can get tighter, it can get stronger, is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, it's probably durability, I think. | ||
| And I think part of its elasticity, I think hemp stretches more and breaks easier and whatever. | ||
| The nylon's just better. | ||
| Yeah, there's no, like, dudes who try to keep it real and go climbing with hemp rope and everybody else is like, hey, what the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| For sure with ropes, nobody's like, I want to go old school. | ||
| I want to use the oldest rope possible. | ||
| Well, people are weird with hemp, man. | ||
| Hemp has, like, a weird sort of attachment to it. | ||
| Not for... | ||
| When your life depends on it, nobody's like, I want hemp. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like... | ||
| Well, maybe they do, and they're not here anymore. | ||
| Well, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, they smoked a little too much, and they're like, oops, it turns out hemp doesn't really hold. | ||
| Yeah, I have this t-shirt line, Higher Primate, and the biggest complaint was that, why aren't you selling hemp t-shirts? | ||
| Dude, we're not made out of hemp. | ||
| Welcome to our hemp. | ||
| I've never met a hemp t-shirt that didn't feel like I was wearing a grain sack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, what's that one guy that makes those bags that you're friends with? | |
| Datsura? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Datsura? | |
| I have a Datsura t-shirt, hemp t-shirt, and it's soft as fuck. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's really nice. | |
| It's thick and meaty. | ||
| Well, that's not what I like. | ||
| I like it thin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is thin. | |
| Yeah, you like... | ||
| This is like high-end, thin, lightweight. | ||
| Yeah, it's like organic cotton or something. | ||
| It's cotton and it's like a blend. | ||
| It's cotton and some sort of nylon or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You like nice body shirts. | |
| Just what feels... | ||
| Oh, that's what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it is. | |
| You try to wear tents. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get those Midwest guys. | |
| They're like, God, you can see my nipples through these shirts. | ||
| You don't like that? | ||
| So you're looking for something to drape over your frame? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we need to hide in easy water. | |
| To accentuate my sexy. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I just like things that are lightweight. | ||
| They don't restrict me when I move. | ||
| But yeah, Datsura has great shit. | ||
| He wants to sponsor the podcast, so we'll just do it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a good guy. | |
| Datsura makes gym bags, laptop bags, all of it's high-quality hemp. | ||
| Colorado recently, as far as the new thing that's been passed that makes marijuana legal, it also makes growing hemp legal. | ||
| And the first guy is stepping up to start a hemp farm. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| We have to start a Kickstarter for his legal fund for when the DEA comes and locks him up. | ||
| Because of the National Defense Authorization Act and the Patriot Act, that guy becomes a terrorist and they lock him in some fucking cell in Guantanamo Bay. | ||
| And that's not a joke, folks. | ||
| If you're selling drugs in any way, shape, or form, you're like a terrorist now. | ||
| And if you're selling hemp, even though it's not even psychoactive, it's not the psychoactive form of marijuana, it's still federally illegal. | ||
| And they would treat you the same way they would treat someone who was growing heroin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so stupid. | |
| It's so fucking stupid. | ||
| Because what people don't understand is we sell hemp. | ||
| At Onnit, we have hemp protein. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It's nutritious. | ||
| You don't test positive for THC because there's not any in it. | ||
| You get this stuff from the male plant, the hemp plant, the cannabis plant. | ||
| It doesn't have any psychoactive capability. | ||
| You would have to get a whole forest of it to get high. | ||
| But it is very nutritious and it is very illegal. | ||
| We have to buy it from Canada. | ||
| So we're allowed to have it, but we can't grow it. | ||
| It's the dumbest thing in the world. | ||
| So they buy it, the Canadians have to grow it, we get it from them, and then we sell it. | ||
| But if we grow it, they'll lock us in jail for a hundred years. | ||
| If you grow the plants that you need to make hemp protein powder or hemp oil or any of that shit, they'll just lock you in jail for federal crimes. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's unbelievable how dumb the world is. | ||
| It hurts my brain sometimes that it's 2013 and that with the access to information that we have, the world and the government still hasn't caught up. | ||
| The people in positions of power are still operating like it's the 1950s and 1960s and everybody's fucking stupid. | ||
| And it's really amazing. | ||
| It drives me crazy. | ||
| How many people get high and climb? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Most. | |
| I'm not going to do it though. | ||
| I would think that... | ||
| Maybe not most, but a lot. | ||
| I'd say a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wouldn't do it. | |
| Yeah, you guys are the last place you want to be paranoid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, munchies? | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to have the munchies. | ||
| You've got five hours to go to get to the top for you. | ||
| You can eat a quail egg. | ||
| A quail egg. | ||
| There's some specific nest that you go to. | ||
| It's been mapped out. | ||
| Hiker's Digest, number 60. Go up there and eat that fucking poor bird's eggs and try to get enough energy to make it to the top so you can stay alive. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to get the munchies while climbing a mountain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, do you have a poop bag and stuff when you go up there? | |
| If you're going up for like a week or something, then yeah. | ||
| But I mean, if you're doing day missions... | ||
| Have you ever had diarrhea in the middle of a climb? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| What happens? | ||
| You just let it go? | ||
| You just poop all over it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, what do you think you do? | |
| Just take a break. | ||
| Do you attempt to take your pants off while you're up there? | ||
| Yeah, no, for sure you take your pants off. | ||
| You do while you're climbing? | ||
| Well, no, there was little ledges and little stances or like something you can... | ||
| So you get there and you just go buck wild the rest of the way? | ||
| Yeah, you just do whatever. | ||
| You go naked? | ||
| No, no, no, you just... | ||
| Shake the shit out, put it back on. | ||
| No, you don't poop your pants. | ||
| I mean, you put your pants on and you take a poop and then... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| The best is to shit put where you poop onto a rock and then you hurl the rock off into the abyss. | ||
| You know, it's shit putting. | ||
| It's pretty legit. | ||
| Okay, so you've never been climbing and just shit your pants? | ||
| No, heck no. | ||
| That's what I thought you meant. | ||
| When you said shit all over the place, I thought you just let it go. | ||
| The worst case scenario is you have a rope on and you have to poop immediately, and so you just swing to the side, you pull your harness and pants as far as you can, and you just poop all over the wall. | ||
| That's like the worst case. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It would be really slippery for me. | |
| We need to make videos of this. | ||
| There's an amazing climbing video of a dude actually pooping his pants. | ||
| Pull that up. | ||
| How do you find it? | ||
| Just Google boogie till you poop. | ||
| Because the guy was climbing a route called Boogie Till You Puke, and then he went up there and then he pooped himself. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Boogie Till You Poop. | ||
| Yeah, you just got to be careful about your diet when you're climbing up fucking mountains. | ||
| Do you watch your diet? | ||
| Do you have like a very specific nutritious diet? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Actually, I've been vegetarian for like a month and a little bit. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| How are you liking that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems all right. | ||
| I mean, we'll see. | ||
| I feel the exact same. | ||
| Is this the one where the guy shows up? | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| It's actually one of my favorite climbing videos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And is this, um... | ||
| Requires a rescue. | ||
| Is he free soloing this? | ||
| No, so he has a rope and everything, but the thing is, he's kind of in a wide crack, and, uh, like, it's too big for him to put his hands and fists into or whatever, so he has to wedge his leg in. | ||
| And so he gets his legs stuck, and he's like, stuck, stuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| So, this is him being like, oh god, I'm stuck. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| And so then this other buddy who is filming it is down there trying to help him extricate his leg. | ||
| And he shits on him? | ||
| Well, no, he shits on his pants, but... | ||
| Now, has this ever happened to you when you get stuck like this? | ||
| So then he starts dry even because he's all hungover. | ||
| It's like pretty gross. | ||
| Wow, he's hungover climbing a fucking mountain. | ||
| So this was during like the Squamish Mountain Festival. | ||
| It's like a big climbing party up by Vancouver. | ||
| You know, everybody parties all night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just shit his pants. | |
| I just shit my pants. | ||
| Does he get out of this? | ||
| By the way, this is two podcasts in a row where we showed shit your pants videos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| We showed the George Brett shit your pants story. | ||
| That's pretty funny, actually. | ||
| How does this guy get out of this? | ||
| Eventually they managed to wiggle his leg out with a lot of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, this is a torture video. | |
| This is scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's stuck and shits his pants and he's about to puke. | |
| And the guy below him is just downwind. | ||
| He's telling him to relax. | ||
| He's one of my really good friends. | ||
| He's just trying to help him out. | ||
| It's pretty funny. | ||
| They're both good friends. | ||
| Now, when you do this climbing, I'm ignorant to this as well. | ||
| When you climb up a mountain and you're using ropes, how do you do it? | ||
| Do you start out? | ||
| Knock something in. | ||
| As soon as you climb to a certain part, knock something in that's secure, and then connect your rope to it, and then keep unconnecting it? | ||
| Do you reconnect it? | ||
| No, so generally you start at the ground with... | ||
| What's called a rack of gear, like an assortment of gear that you have. | ||
| Little things that you can put into cracks or like, you know, whatever, put into cracks generally. | ||
| And so you climb up and you put them in as you go. | ||
| You clip your rope into them. | ||
| So at any time if you fall, you just fall double the distance to the last piece of gear. | ||
| You know, because you climb like say five feet above the last piece of gear. | ||
| So if you fall, you fall that five feet plus the five feet of slack that you had out. | ||
| So how does it relax, or how does the rope disconnect from the ones below it? | ||
| So a second person has to climb up it after you. | ||
| So if you're climbing like a thousand foot wall, then the first person climbs, you know, say 100 feet and stops, and then brings up the second person, and then they do it again over and over the whole way. | ||
| It's called pitches, or like rope lengths. | ||
| So you climb like one rope length, and then you do the next one, and then you do the next one. | ||
| Is the technology for these pieces of equipment so good that nothing ever fails? | ||
| I mean, for the most part, I mean, like, everything breaks, you know? | ||
| Like, everything in life will break in the right circumstances. | ||
| But climbing gear is really well made, well manufactured, and, like, pretty well tested. | ||
| So, I mean, yeah, there are circumstances where you can, like, trust your life to, like, a piece of gear. | ||
| Like, one little widget that you put into a crack, and you're like, well... | ||
| You know, but generally, you back things up, you have it all tripled or whatever. | ||
| Like... | ||
| And these things that you put into cracks, they separate or something? | ||
| No, they're called cams, they're camming devices, so they're two lobes, sort of like an umbrella or something. | ||
| So you pull a trigger and they contract, and then you put into the crack, and then they expand outward. | ||
| So then when you pull on them, they expand outward even further, and so they wedge themselves into the crack. | ||
| You know, it's just a simple camming thing. | ||
| So it's just the pressure of them pushing, just much like that guy was climbing that building. | ||
| Yeah, exactly, exactly. | ||
| It's counter pressure. | ||
| And how is it designed? | ||
| Like, what is it made out of? | ||
| Like, aluminum, I think. | ||
| Because it's light. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But I mean, they're rated to... | ||
| I mean, they go through a whole rigorous testing process and they're pretty solid stuff. | ||
| The falling thing is what really freaks me out when they fall and hang on that thing. | ||
| Yeah, but you do that so often as a climber. | ||
| You know that happens all the time, so it's just not, you know, it's totally normal. | ||
| So climbers are just used to falling and getting saved? | ||
| Well, I'm sure, like, as a fighter, you're used to getting knocked over. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| A climber's used to falling because you're always, to get better, you have to push yourself to failure, and so you're constantly falling, you know? | ||
| Obviously not for solos, but, like, but, you know, the majority of the time you have a rope on and you're climbing to failure. | ||
| Now, when I asked you about your diet, do you try to stay light? | ||
| Does that make it easier? | ||
| One of the things when we did Fear Factor, one of the stunts that we had was people, they were hanging over this bridge by their hands, and they dropped into the water. | ||
| It wasn't that far, but the idea was who could hang on the longest. | ||
| And women won. | ||
| Because they were lighter. | ||
| Yeah, because they were lighter. | ||
| We had one guy who was like a football player. | ||
| He was a big, strong guy. | ||
| Yeah, but hands, I mean, hands are such small, fine little muscles. | ||
| Well, being a big guy is like a huge liability if you're trying to hang on. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I would imagine. | ||
| So do you make sure that you don't gain weight? | ||
| I mean, I try. | ||
| I mean, I love eating pastries and stuff, so I don't watch too much. | ||
| But I mean, I try, yeah, for sure. | ||
| But you're very thin. | ||
| There must be a lot of calories. | ||
| Not that thin, I mean, of course. | ||
| Well, you're not fat. | ||
| You're not a muscular dude. | ||
| Well, I didn't mean that. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| You certainly have muscle, but I mean, you're not a fat guy. | ||
| Yeah, no, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're lean. | |
| That's what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, but you can't, I mean, you couldn't go climbing all the time and be a fat dude, you know? | ||
| Because it does burn a lot of calories, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, well, just being outside all the time and exercising is going to get you pretty fit. | ||
| Like, when you have, like, a big climb that day, do you prep yourself? | ||
| Do you have, like, a pre-climb meal that you do? | ||
| No, no, I eat pretty much the same all the time. | ||
| I just eat stuff. | ||
| Just whatever you want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| You know, I just try not to eat too much or like go hog wild, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And no drinking. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just because I'm not into it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just don't like it. | ||
| That seems like the worst place to ever be where that guy was where he was hung over and he was in the middle of the clock. | ||
| Yeah, that's part of the reason I don't drink. | ||
| I look at stuff like that and I'm just like, what a disaster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is your mindset while you're climbing? | ||
| What are you thinking of when you're doing it? | ||
| No one's around. | ||
| It's just you. | ||
| I mean, it depends. | ||
| So like on hard stuff, I'm probably not really thinking about anything. | ||
| I'm just executing the movements that I have to do. | ||
| You know what people say about being in the moment or flow and all that kind of stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm just doing what I do. | ||
| On easy stuff... | ||
| It's the same as like going jogging or swimming laps or anything where you just think about whatever. | ||
| You think about dinner, you think about your to-do list, things like that. | ||
| So when it gets to the point where you must focus exactly on what you're doing, that's where you like it. | ||
| Yeah, well, I mean, there's something fun about just going out and going jogging, too, you know, like just climbing up a big peak or something, and then when you get to the top looking around and being like, oh, that was fun, but keeping it really mellow the whole time. | ||
| But for sure, the harder stuff, when it requires that extra little something, I mean, that is more rewarding. | ||
| What does it feel like when you get to the top? | ||
| Of like hard stuff? | ||
| Giant crazy shit. | ||
| I mean generally it's just kind of a general satisfaction. | ||
| You know you're like that's rad. | ||
| And also you're always in these beautiful places. | ||
| The view is always amazing. | ||
| You know you're always by yourself doing something really cool. | ||
| So I mean there's always that like you know elation with like being where you are. | ||
| But then there's also that deep satisfaction of like I just did something very hard and did it well. | ||
| Now how many chicks started bombing on you? | ||
| Once you had this 60 minutes piece. | ||
| Dude, not that many. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't believe that. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have that much game, dude. | ||
| You don't need any game. | ||
| I live in a van. | ||
| Well, as long as a van has a door that opens, there's a chick that's willing to come inside. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Yeah, maybe I'll hang in the wrong places or something. | ||
| You can't say you have no game, dude. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You're this climbing freak, okay? | ||
| That in itself is game. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, listen, it is. | ||
| You know, it might not be your main motivation, but for most human beings, one of the reasons why they get really good at shit is to get pussy. | ||
| Well, no, for sure, as I was getting better at climbing, every time I was like, oh, if I got on the cover of a climbing magazine, then I'd get laid. | ||
| And then you get on the cover and you're like, dude, nobody's calling and nobody gets a shit, you know? | ||
| And then you're like, oh, if I get interviewed in, like, men's journal or something, then I'll start getting laid. | ||
| And then you're like, dude, turns out nobody reads that shit either, you know? | ||
| Yeah, I would feel like Men's Journal, like all those fitness magazines, you buy it when you're at the airport and you go like that, like that, like that, and then you leave it in your fucking seat in front of you. | ||
| Or like, you know, the cover of National Geographic, like, oh, that'll get me laid. | ||
| Like, turns out, no. | ||
| Not a lot of people reading. | ||
| Buy shit, look at the pictures. | ||
| Obviously that's the problem. | ||
| Yeah, but that 60 Minutes piece, that had to be a big difference between everything else you did. | ||
| And then the subsequent viewings of it on the internet, which is where I found out about it. | ||
| I didn't see it live. | ||
| It was, I think, Twitter. | ||
| I think someone sent me a link and said, you gotta check this out. | ||
| And I think I jumped out of my chair, and I climbed on top of it, like those cartoons where there's a mouse on the ground, you know, where you're in a crouch, and my feet were on the chair, and I was watching you climb, and I was like, what the fuck is he doing? | ||
| Jesus, son! | ||
| You need a sex scandal or something. | ||
| No, you don't need that. | ||
| You just need a bigger van. | ||
| You need a pimp van. | ||
| What the heck? | ||
| There was some online thing. | ||
| It was like an ESPN list of top athletes or some shit, and I beat Kobe Bryant because I hadn't had a sex scandal. | ||
| Because they had this whole algorithm that took in all these different things that you've done versus... | ||
| But then divided by the number of terrible scandals you've had. | ||
| And I was like, dude, I beat Kobe because I live clean, you know. | ||
| I was like, dude, there's something to be said for that. | ||
| It's kind of classic. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I forget what that was. | ||
| It also shows how stupid that fucking thing is. | ||
| That's algorithm. | ||
| Well, yeah, no, obviously I was like, this is retarded. | ||
| But, you know, I thought it was pretty funny. | ||
| It is pretty funny. | ||
| Now, have there been traditionally a lot of girls that do this? | ||
| So long? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There are... | ||
| Two. | ||
| Two. | ||
| In the world ever. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, basically no. | ||
| But there are a handful of girls that do do that. | ||
| But are there girls that do a lot of the rope stuff? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, especially in Europe, it's probably 50-50 split. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In the U.S., maybe it's 60-40 or 70-30. | ||
| It's that big? | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty close. | ||
| So that's your target audience, buddy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you go to a gym... | ||
| We're going to narrow this down for you. | ||
| We're going to narrow this down. | ||
| As far as chicks, you need to go... | ||
| Those are the ones who are going to be the most impressed with you. | ||
| Yeah, but they're all probably gravel faces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Like, their faces have a bunch of holes all over it. | ||
| Gravel face? | ||
| Why? | ||
| He doesn't have gravel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just from hitting... | |
| No. | ||
| He looks fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but they probably... | |
| Nah, I'm not even gonna go there. | ||
| They probably fuck up more? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Is that what you were gonna say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, honestly, nowadays, the majority of climbers climb in the gym in a city, you know? | ||
| So it's not like rugged mountain people. | ||
| It's just like college kids and stuff that like to go bolder in the gym. | ||
| And that's how you started. | ||
| You started in Sacramento. | ||
| Badass town. | ||
| I love Sacramento. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| I like doing stand-up up there. | ||
| I am? | ||
| They're wild. | ||
| It's like a combination of... | ||
| Like, country people and city people. | ||
| It's like a weird sort of a blend, you know? | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of a hickish city. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Now, these people that do these rock climbing gyms, like that own them and stuff, do most of them do the stuff that you, like, not the stuff that you do, but the mountain stuff, or is there two distinct camps? | ||
| There's people who just do gym, rock climbing, I wouldn't say they're distinct camps, but for sure they're people who just climb in the gym. | ||
| Especially like the Bay Area around San Francisco and Berkeley and all that. | ||
| There are probably thousands of climbers that to them rock climbing just means going to the gym. | ||
| But then maybe half the people in the gym also go outdoors every weekend and all that. | ||
| It would seem to me that the rock climbing in the gym could not be nearly as exciting, even if it was really good. | ||
| No, but, you know, I mean, there are also people doing like Zumba in the gym to work out or whatever that means. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, everybody chooses something. | ||
| And climbing is certainly, like, more fun than most ways to work out, you know? | ||
| What I was going to get to is when you first started, you did it in the gym, and what was the feeling when you did your first mountain? | ||
| You mean like big outdoor climbing? | ||
| It's just like going from doing it in the gym to going to a mountain and climbing the ropes. | ||
| Well, I mean, honestly, the first times I climbed outside, I didn't like it as much because I was like, oh, how do you find the holds and all that? | ||
| How do you do it? | ||
| Because it's like different sports, really. | ||
| I didn't know how to do it. | ||
| But then as I learned and as I got more into it, you start to appreciate it. | ||
| And you're certainly in a more beautiful location, you know, that's kind of the main thing. | ||
| Does it give you a different sense of accomplishment, is what I was trying to get at? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure it does. | ||
| It just feels different, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, when you get to the top of something in the gym, you know, there's some satisfaction in the physical achievement. | ||
| You're like, oh, I'm stronger than I used to be, or I learned how to do some technique. | ||
| But like when you get to the top of something outside, you're like, that was rad. | ||
| You know, like this is a worthy objective, whatever. | ||
| It's like inherently, you know, it has more inherent meaning. | ||
| One of the things I saw on the 60 Minutes thing is they asked you to hold up your fingers. | ||
| You have really big fat fingers, right? | ||
| I guess so, yeah. | ||
| From just climbing and clawing at things. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's maybe from climbing cracks where you put them in a wedge and torque on them and stuff. | ||
| Did you have to condition your hands in any way, or did it just happen naturally by doing it? | ||
| This is 17 years of climbing, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's what you need to tell girls. | |
| Girls need to know that. | ||
| They know about his hands and his strong fingers. | ||
| Do you think that means that he has a strong dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I'm saying that he's really probably powerful hands. | |
| I haven't conditioned that for as many years. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I haven't conditioned it for as many years as my hands. | ||
| It helps you wedge into cracks. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so you have to like at some point in time where you're literally getting like two inches of your fingers in a crack. | ||
| Yeah, or less, I mean. | ||
| Less, even less. | ||
| What's the smallest amount that you're actually holding your body up with? | ||
| Well, I mean. | ||
| An inch? | ||
| I mean, just like half of your last pad. | ||
| So half of the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Half of your last pad. | |
| That's a half an inch. | ||
| I mean, you could be, yeah. | ||
| And that's you're holding your whole body up. | ||
| Well, I mean, you have your feet on things too. | ||
| You know, probably really, really small things, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I mean, that would be like when it's really hard. | ||
| You know, best case scenario, you have your whole hand sunk in, you know, and you're just like attached to the mountain. | ||
| Are cracks the most difficult thing to navigate? | ||
| No, cracks are actually like the most secure thing to navigate. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because once you put your fingers in or your hand in, you can... | ||
| So like if you put your hand into a crack, you move your thumb down and it gets fatter and then it wedges in shape. | ||
| Sort of like a camming device like I was talking. | ||
| You just make your hand fatter and then it gets locked in place. | ||
| And so once you have your hand locked in like that, I mean, you could just, you know, I mean, you just hang off. | ||
| Shit your pants. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You shit your pants and you'll be totally fine. | ||
| So, like, when I'm climbing hand jams, like, it feels like I'm walking or something. | ||
| You know, I'm just like, you know, I can climb. | ||
| Well, I have climbed thousands and thousands of feet of hand jams, like, with no, you know, just whatever. | ||
| Now, you've been doing this for 17 years. | ||
| What keeps you doing this? | ||
| Because it's rad, dude. | ||
| It's just rad. | ||
| Yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| You love it. | ||
| I mean, as soon as we're done, I'm driving to Vegas to go climbing again. | ||
| And then I'm flying to Mexico in a couple days for like a month road trip thing. | ||
| And when you're doing a lot of these, you're doing them just by yourself. | ||
| You're just pulling up, showing up, and climbing. | ||
| I wouldn't say off. | ||
| I mean, the big solo is the stuff that you've seen. | ||
| I mean, I maybe do like four or five days like that a year. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Most of it you're doing with ropes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I climb with a partner and a rope 99% of the time. | ||
| And then, you know, the videos and stuff that you've seen are, like, the playoffs and the Super Bowl of climbing, you know, but you're not seeing all the practice and all the, like, you know, the years that go into, like, getting ready for the Super Bowl. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, for you, it's just a thrilling, fun thing to do, and it hasn't lost any of its charm. | ||
| I mean, the charm has transitioned, I think, as I get older. | ||
| Like, now I love to travel more, and, like, I'm pretty excited about going to Mexico and traveling around and seeing new places and all that. | ||
| Whereas when I was younger, it was just a matter of trying to physically do hard moves and being like, oh, I can do whatever, this boulder problem that I couldn't do before. | ||
| It was like seeing that growth. | ||
| Now I'm kind of like, there's always somebody who's going to be stronger and better and whatever. | ||
| It doesn't really matter how hard the moves are. | ||
| Now it's cooler for me to go to cool places and climb new things and all that. | ||
| But I still love climbing. | ||
| What is your life like now in terms of media obligations and how much of that stuff has changed? | ||
| I mean, since 60 Minutes, it's obviously kind of blown up quite a bit. | ||
| Yeah, I'm juggling a lot more, like, speaking opportunities and, you know, I mean, stuff like this where I'm like, oh, cool, check out something new and, like, see what it's all about. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's cool that you did this because for folks listening, he had no idea what the podcast was and never listened to it. | ||
| Just had been, you know... | ||
| Just hounded by people online. | ||
| I was like, well, I mean, it must be cool. | ||
| But then also, like, my best friend lives in L.A., so I was like, oh, it works out, you know, I'll just kind of put them together. | ||
| That's kind of how I try to do all my media slash, you know, whatever those kinds of obligations. | ||
| I try to lump it into what I'm already doing or, like, make it fit, right? | ||
| Seems to work alright. | ||
| Do you still live in that van? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's parked out front. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But now I'm probably overseas, like, half the year, and so then I just leave the van parked somewhere and, you know, camp or do whatever. | ||
| Now, like, when you live in a van, do you just, like, shower at a jam or something? | ||
| Or a river. | ||
| Or never? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, whatever. | ||
| You just make it work. | ||
| I mean, oftentimes, or like, so I'm going to Vegas, and I'll be in the van, but I mean, I'll be staying at one of my friend's houses, probably. | ||
| I'll probably be sleeping in the van, but I can use this house, use the kitchen if I want, whatever, you know? | ||
| So everything you own, your whole life is in a van. | ||
| Mostly. | ||
| I mean, my mom's house in Sacramento has, like, some other random piles of stuff in it. | ||
| You know, like, camping gear that I knew that I wouldn't eat on this trip. | ||
| You know, I just leave it at mom's house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Do you ever, like, say, man, I gotta get a fucking apartment? | ||
| No, definitely not. | ||
| Like, why would you pay rent for a place that you don't ever go to? | ||
| Well, a lot of people, they go and they lie down in a bed. | ||
| Well, that's because they're pussies, dude. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| They're pussies with their silly bed while you're camping on a ledge. | ||
| I sleep really well in the van, though, honestly. | ||
| I get in my sleeping bag and I'm just out. | ||
| How do you know where to go? | ||
| When you come to a new town, do you have to find a good parking spot? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it takes a little doing. | ||
| You sort of get the hang of it. | ||
| I mean, like, suburban streets that don't seem to, like... | ||
| I mean, basically, if you see a van parked for a night, you know, like, who cares? | ||
| Yeah, it's totally normal. | ||
| And then, like, 24-hour grocery stores are always fine. | ||
| Like, you know, gas stations, whatever, rest areas. | ||
| Do you ever get hassled? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I've had a lot of cops, like, check in, you know, and, like, make sure the car is not stolen. | ||
| Or, like, wake up and see a cop behind you, like, running your plates, but then they just peace out and they see it's not stolen. | ||
| Things like that. | ||
| Do you ever have a cop go, dude, I'm a big fan? | ||
| Actually, yeah, actually, I have. | ||
| But only in like a little climbing town in Utah. | ||
| A climbing town? | ||
| There's a whole town where everybody climbs? | ||
| Well, no, no, but Moab. | ||
| Do you know Moab? | ||
| It's like a huge mountain biking area, but it's like the heart of climbing. | ||
| I've heard the word, but I don't know where it is. | ||
| Well, it's also from the Old Testament, if you've been reading a lot of Old Testament. | ||
| No, I mean, I've heard it as like an actual geographic location, but I thought it was actually in California for some reason. | ||
| No, it's like way eastern Utah, like right by the border with Colorado. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| It's the red sandstone desert where you see like arches and like really pretty Oh, those crazy things that are just carved because of the wind and the erosion? | ||
| Yeah, exactly, exactly. | ||
| That is so bizarre. | ||
| Yeah, it's a really pretty landscape. | ||
| You must see some of the coolest spots in the world when it comes to all these climbs. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That is becoming more of the appeal for me, just to go to these amazing places and climb cool things. | ||
| Yeah, for folks who've never seen, we don't know what we're talking about. | ||
| The sound, somehow or another. | ||
| The rock eroded to look, it looks like it was constructed. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a freestanding arch. | ||
| Crazy arch made out of stone. | ||
| It just shows you all the randomness of nature with the weird things that can occur. | ||
| I went on a Northwest expedition to Chad in the dead center of Africa to climb unclimbed sandstone towers and arches like exactly what we're talking about in Utah except it was in Chad. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Blank, empty desert, like just completely flat sand with no road, just driving GPS for three days across like flat nothingness until we got to these crazy towers. | ||
| Oh my god, just desert driving for three days through the desert? | ||
| Dude, it was out of control. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| We drove for two days, just flat nothingness. | ||
| You don't see anything in any direction. | ||
| How'd you have so much gas to drive that long? | ||
| I don't know, we had this outfitter that's, you know, that's what he does. | ||
| He brought gas with you. | ||
| He brought extra gas. | ||
| Yeah, I think he knew how to do it, you know. | ||
| Jesus Christ, three days driving? | ||
| Well, but driving at like 27 miles an hour. | ||
| Through the sand. | ||
| Yeah, because you're driving across like, it'd be like going to the Mojave Desert and just driving cross-country completely straight for three days. | ||
| Anyway, so after two days, we randomly passed these two dudes on camels that were doing the same thing. | ||
| What? | ||
| They were just questing across the desert on their camels. | ||
| Randomly? | ||
| Randomly randomly? | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm sure they were, like, going to trade or something. | ||
| Yeah, we just... | ||
| But is there a path you were following? | ||
| No, no, that's the thing. | ||
| We were following GPS coordinates across the Virgin Desert, you know? | ||
| It was, like, it was kind of out of control. | ||
| We were like, what the fuck are these guys doing out here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You know, and, like, yeah. | ||
| Who were the guys? | ||
| They were just, like, desert nomad dudes, you know, just, like, indigenous folks. | ||
| I mean, they were just normal dudes on their normal life, but it's hard to believe that that's their normal life, just taking a camel for five days across a blank desert with no food or water. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that that's how people lived for a long period of time. | ||
| Dude, that's how people still live. | ||
| That's what's so crazy about going to Chad, is we were meeting people that live there that in their entire life will probably never touch pavement or asphalt. | ||
| They just live in sand, and that's it, for all of existence. | ||
| They just tend their goats, tend their little donkeys and stuff. | ||
| You're just like, oh my god. | ||
| It's pretty hardcore. | ||
| And that's why the travel experiences are becoming more important to me than the actual climbing, sort of. | ||
| Yeah, I would imagine. | ||
| That's really paradigm shifting. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty heavy stuff. | ||
| You know, you're like, whoa. | ||
| Whoa, indeed, man. | ||
| Three days driving on Virgin Desert. | ||
| Nothing to the left, nothing to the right, nothing in front of you. | ||
| Like, in the morning, so we would drive until we got tired. | ||
| We'd park, we'd do dinner, we'd go to bed. | ||
| And then in the morning when you gotta go take a poop, I mean, there's no cover in any direction because it's just flat. | ||
| So you'd basically just walk... | ||
| In any direction until everyone else got really small, and then you would just take a poo, and then you would just walk back. | ||
| It's not like, oh, I'm going to go behind that tree. | ||
| It's like you just have to walk until people are small. | ||
| Did you take photos of this? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's all professional. | ||
| I didn't take photos so much. | ||
| Not your poop, man. | ||
| I have photos of Brian Callen pooping when we were camping in Montana with a little flag in it. | ||
| We were going to put it on Twitter that if you could find it, we'll give you $1,000. | ||
| It's on the Missouri River. | ||
| We were going to give rough coordinates. | ||
| Take a picture of yourself by it, we'll give you $1,000. | ||
| But you can't just leave poop there. | ||
| You have to put it in bio bags and pack it out. | ||
| Human poop is really gross. | ||
| Like if you run across like cows poop, there's a lot of cows out there. | ||
| Cow poop is kind of gross too. | ||
| It's kind of gross, but it doesn't even smell that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| The difference between human shit and cow shit is pretty shocking. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Cow shit also smells horrible until it's been sitting there for like a year and it's all baked by the sun. | ||
| That too. | ||
| Like what you're talking about is like fried cow pies that are all dead and like sterilized. | ||
| Yeah, but I've been around an actual cow taking a shit and they can't fuck with a human. | ||
| I don't know, but it depends on the human diet. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, just shitting out cheeseburgers and whiskey. | ||
| Yeah, just to show you guys need to work on your diet a little bit. | ||
| That's not me. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Some other dude. | ||
| Some random dude just shitting. | ||
| We're grading it. | ||
| That's what we're talking about. | ||
| But, yeah, you can't just leave your shit out there in Missouri, but you can in the desert. | ||
| Yeah, you can in the desert. | ||
| Did you encounter any animals while you were doing this three-day drive? | ||
| Yeah, we saw tons of little things, like little desert foxes and stuff. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like gazelle-type, you know, different antelopes. | ||
| And what are they eating out there? | ||
| Like, tiny little shrubs. | ||
| I mean, there were, like, you know, there'd be a bush every 600 yards. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like... | ||
| I mean, there is some vegetation, but it's just, like, flat sand with, like, a shrub. | ||
| And then, like, a mile later, you're like, there's a little tiny tree, you know, and then whatever. | ||
| No snakes? | ||
| Nothing like that? | ||
| Not really, no. | ||
| What a strange ecosystem that is. | ||
| Well, so when we got to where we were going, there were these amazing sandstone towers, and then... | ||
| There was, like, more weather. | ||
| There was more going on, I think, because of the cliffs and stuff. | ||
| So maybe it traps more moisture or whatever. | ||
| And there were more people living there because there was more vegetation. | ||
| But it was still pretty much desert. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's still a full-fledged desert, but there were at least, like, shrubs. | ||
| Kind of like the American desert where you see, you know, like the Mojave. | ||
| And how did they get their water? | ||
| They had wells every once in a while. | ||
| I mean, I assume... | ||
| I mean, there was water running underground, I guess, because you could see, like, bands of vegetation that were supposedly, like, washes, you know, like an underground river. | ||
| So one of the real mind fucks about the topography of this world is how it's variable. | ||
| Yeah, how different parts of the world are. | ||
| Not just variable, but variable in the same location over time. | ||
| Like, Egypt, like, where the Nile Valley was, like, 9,000 years ago, that was a rainforest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's the exact same type of area that I'm talking about. | ||
| So, while we were there, it was rad. | ||
| We went into a cave and there were cave paintings. | ||
| And I mean, it's all just, you know, we're in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| And so you could see these stick figure drawings and it showed like these big herder people, you know, like drawings of dudes like tending their big cows. | ||
| And then them being displaced by the camel people like the people of the desert and all that and our outfitter was telling us that was kind of showing the history of the whole area because like as the as the desert advanced and like the grasslands and forests you know receded like so Chad now all the all the big cow people now live in like southern southern Chad where there's still like vegetation and the rest of the country is just desert you know as the Sahara or whatever the Sahel has like moved south and desertification all that kind of stuff. | ||
| It's a really strange thing that happens to the climate. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's pretty interesting though to see like cave paintings of like this whole process of, you know, like different populations being, you know, replaced. | ||
| How old are these paintings? | ||
| Do they know? | ||
| Well, I mean, yeah, I think that the climate events are over the last like 10,000 years or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I mean, or maybe even older. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was neat stuff for us. | ||
| We were like, whoa. | ||
| The cave paintings really freak me out. | ||
| Have you ever seen that Herzog documentary? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| The Cave of Dreams or something like that? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Let me find that for the folks who are listening. | ||
| Because it's really interesting. | ||
| They found some really old cave paintings that predated the oldest before that by a pretty substantial amount. | ||
| Let me find it real quick. | ||
| Cave of Forgotten Dreams. | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Where? | ||
| It's in France. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| Yeah, it's the oldest recorded cave paintings. | ||
| Is it human or Neanderthal? | ||
| It's human. | ||
| I don't believe there's Neanderthal cave paintings. | ||
| I think we know that they made tools. | ||
| Have you heard of this crazy bitch? | ||
| There's a guy who wants to bring back Neanderthals. | ||
| Oh, I just saw some news thing about that. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| I was like, that seems like opening a bag of worms for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're asking for a Harvard guy, right? | ||
| Neanderthal baby? | ||
| It's some guy who's asking a woman to carry a fucking Neanderthal baby. | ||
| I have no idea why anyone is letting this guy say this. | ||
| Well, nothing wrong with saying it. | ||
| Only a problem with doing it. | ||
| It sounds fucking crazy. | ||
| But this guy, his name is George Church, and he's from Harvard. | ||
| This is legit. | ||
| This is not like some, you know, daily mail. | ||
| It's like Jurassic Park. | ||
| Yeah, well, the really scary thing is that we don't know shit about Neanderthals. | ||
| They're built more like gorillas than they are people, and their brains are bigger than us. | ||
| Well, they're built more like gorillas than they are people. | ||
| Five foot tall, 200 pounds, really thick bones, big heads, bigger heads than human beings, much larger brain. | ||
| It's a really trippy thing, the idea that this crazy fuck wants to bring these things back, and that the fact that you could do it inside of a woman's body, it's pretty ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy asshole. | ||
| No, I don't believe this Werner Herzog thing was that. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that it was a... | ||
| It's all homo sapiens. | ||
| I hope the first one's a female. | ||
| The first baby? | ||
| Yeah, better. | ||
| Because if it's a man, it's just going to start raping. | ||
| It's going to go on a rape and cannibal rampage when it gets to full-grown. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| We don't know the behavior of Neanderthals. | ||
| There's been a lot of speculation that Neanderthals preyed on humans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They might take boobs to the next level. | |
| Well, Neanderthals preying on humans obviously didn't prey enough because they got wiped out by humans. | ||
| That might have been why we wiped them out. | ||
| We were just a little bit smarter. | ||
| There's a lot of speculation as to what happened to them. | ||
| There's also a debate as to whether or not they interbred with us or whether or not we have a common ancestor, like where our genetic material... | ||
| Where we definitely have a common ancestor now. | ||
| Yeah, we definitely have a common ancestor, but common enough that we have Neanderthal genes in us. | ||
| Because they don't know if it's from breeding. | ||
| It's kind of an iffy area they're trying to piece together now, whether or not it's from humans breeding with it. | ||
| But interesting enough, the possibility of humans breeding with it was only Neanderthal males and human females. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's a scientific reason for the hybrid to be able to... | ||
| It's kind of weird because it seems like you'd want the Neanderthal woman to be able to carry, like, the bigger baby. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Because, like, a Homo sapien woman would get torn apart by... | ||
| I think they're saying it was rape. | ||
| I think that's what they're saying. | ||
| I think they're saying it was, you know, a conquer thing. | ||
| Because there's also speculation as to whether or not Neanderthals ate Homo sapiens. | ||
| That's the weirdest thing that I've been aware of recently that I didn't know about was how often Native Americans... | ||
| Ate each other? | ||
| Cannibalized. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ate each other. | ||
| Well, Papua New Guinea are still into that kind of thing. | ||
| Are they really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're still into cannibalism? | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| They're also into a lot of other freaky shit. | ||
| Like, they're into having the young boys ingest their semen. | ||
| There's the semen tribes of New Guinea. | ||
| I think a lot of people in the States are still into that, too. | ||
| They're called Catholic priests. | ||
| This is very different, though. | ||
| This is like ritualized and open. | ||
| Whereas the Catholic priest thing is... | ||
| Is in the confession booth? | ||
| Yeah, it's a little more sketch. | ||
| Closed doors. | ||
| A little more sketch. | ||
| So these paintings in the Werner Herzog documentary, amazing stuff. | ||
| And there are cave bears, lions, horses, bison, mammoths, rhinoceroses, and there are other animals between 30 and 32,000 year old drawings. | ||
| It's really amazing, man. | ||
| Just think we managed to wipe out all those different animals in the last 30,000 years. | ||
| Well, they don't believe that people had a play in wiping out the woolly mammoth. | ||
| There's thoughts about it, but one of the more interesting thoughts about the mammoth is that the mammoth extinction coincides with what they We're pretty sure now was significant meteor impacts, meteor showers, somewhere around 12,000-13,000 years ago. | ||
| When they do the strata, when they take soil samples, they found this thing called, it's like a volcanic glass, an impact glass, this big... | ||
| It's like this green-looking glass that has come from either nuclear tests or meteor impacts. | ||
| So when they find it all over the world, like 12,000 years ago, and that sort of coincides with some mass extinctions, a lot of the scientists are starting to speculate that that might have been what wiped out a lot of things, including a lot of major civilizations. | ||
| The world just got bombarded by meteors at one point in time, about somewhere around 12,000 years ago. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty crazy stuff. | ||
| They think that might have had a part in the saber-toothed tiger and woolly mammoth and that some animals just weren't able to make... | ||
| That was another animal they're trying to bring back. | ||
| They're trying to bring back a woolly mammoth. | ||
| The Russian scientists are trying to do that. | ||
| They need bigger carpets. | ||
| What the fuck is with people wanting to bring things back? | ||
| Like, you know, enough already. | ||
| How about someone make an alien? | ||
| You know, why is everybody bringing old shit back? | ||
| You know, they probably are doing that. | ||
| They're just not telling us. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Now, you're out there camping. | ||
| You ever see something freaky? | ||
| Ever hear a Bigfoot? | ||
| Ever see a UFO? No. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I don't really do the weird stuff. | ||
| You don't really do the weird stuff? | ||
| Yeah, I'm not into all the weird random stuff like that. | ||
| I'm a very practical kind of guy. | ||
| You're a very practical, crazy mountain climber dude. | ||
| Yeah, very rational. | ||
| Rational. | ||
| Well, you know, by UFOs being irrational and saying just because you haven't seen something that's irrational. | ||
| Would you freak out if you're out there camping and all of a sudden... | ||
| If an alien landed? | ||
| A UFO flew overhead? | ||
| Probably wouldn't freak out, no. | ||
| But I'd be like, that is badass. | ||
| Do you think you'd still keep climbing? | ||
| Or would you change your field of subject and start trying to... | ||
| Well, it depends if I got to chat with the alien or not. | ||
| That's a good question, actually. | ||
| For sure, if I had some kind of crazy experience like that where I was like, I am 100% certain there are life on other planets, I probably would change my field a bit. | ||
| Because all of a sudden I'd be like, there's definitely something more important going on in the world. | ||
| The real problem with, of course, with the idea that there's some life from another planet that's visiting us is like, where the fuck's the evidence? | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| That's what I'm saying about rationalism. | ||
| However, if they're much more sophisticated than us to the point where they can travel from other planets, it seems like they could be undetectable. | ||
| That's the same kind of arguments for whether there's a god or not. | ||
| It's like, whatever. | ||
| Not really, because the actual fact of human life... | ||
| And the fact that we have technological superiority over all the animals, when you look at all the other planets and you extrapolate the amount of time that they could have existed, it's highly possible. | ||
| Yeah, no, I think it's highly likely that there is life in the universe. | ||
| I mean, actually, I'm sure there's life in the rest of the universe. | ||
| You just don't think they're here? | ||
| Yeah, I just don't think they're messing around here. | ||
| But I see that, and I agree with you to a certain extent, but then I see the fact that there's so many fucking planets... | ||
| And we are constantly trying to explore these planets. | ||
| We're sending things to Mars. | ||
| We're looking with satellites and with telescopes and trying to observe planets. | ||
| Yeah, but they are really, really far apart, too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My point is, if we're constantly exploring the universe as far as we can with our limited technological capability in 2013, Maybe that's just an aspect of intelligent life, period, that intelligent life constantly explores its dimensions and its surroundings. | ||
| Maybe it's not. | ||
| Maybe other really intelligent life explore spiritually or they go inward. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Or both. | ||
| I just feel like part of intelligence is being curious. | ||
| Part of being curious is wondering if you're alone. | ||
| Part of being curious and wondering if you're alone is looking. | ||
| So if I was a smart, curious, intelligent thing from another planet, I think I'd go check out the space, the universe. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| When the aliens come, they'll meet you. | ||
| They're gonna come to you, dude. | ||
| You're gonna be out there camping. | ||
| They're gonna go, how come you're not shit in your pants while you're climbing up that thing? | ||
| What are you doing up here? | ||
| Sleeping on a ledge 50,000 feet above the Earth. | ||
| 50,000. | ||
| That's a big mountain. | ||
| What's the biggest one you've ever climbed? | ||
| What's the biggest face? | ||
| Biggest face is like 3,000 feet probably. | ||
| It's all Capitan and Yosemite. | ||
| In Yosemite? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| And what's the legality for that stuff? | ||
| It's all totally fine. | ||
| Nobody hassles you about climbing these things? | ||
| Yeah, it's a national park. | ||
| I mean, it's just, you know, recreation, youth group, whatever. | ||
| You just go climb. | ||
| Has there ever been any talk of regulating it or keeping people from solo climbing or anything like that? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Definitely not. | ||
| I mean, how would you regulate it? | ||
| I mean, you know, then you might as well be regulating, like, fat people hiking, you know, because they're more likely to have a heart attack or whatever. | ||
| Well, that's the good point, though. | ||
| The good point is... | ||
| Fat people should be hiking. | ||
| Personal freedom. | ||
| They definitely should be. | ||
| Someone should talk them into it, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, exactly. | |
| I don't think they should put a gun to their head. | ||
| The personal freedom aspect of it. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I'm a big believer and a big supporter of personal freedom, and this is one of the few that very few people are exercising, but is really a radically dangerous pursuit for the average person. | ||
| For you, maybe not. | ||
| You shake your head because A, you're competent, B, you're aware, and C, it's something you love to do, and you've been doing it your whole life. | ||
| You have a massive amount of experience for it. | ||
| But for the average person to try to do it, it could be I mean, if everybody had to free solo climb, just stop and think about that. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be a disaster. | ||
| It'd be a fucking reigning people. | ||
| But if everybody put like 17 years of work into learning how, then I mean, you know, it'd probably be like... | ||
| There would be no TVs, there would be no cell phones, there'd be no cars. | ||
| If everybody did that, no one would get anything done because they'd be just consistently focusing on not falling and climbing. | ||
| But it's an interesting personal freedom issue. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| There are certain things that we're restricted from doing in this country, in this world, and we're restricted from taking a certain amount of chances. | ||
| But that one is just still completely out there in the wild. | ||
| It's one that I think... | ||
| Well, like going hiking, any kind of outdoor recreation is pretty unrestricted in the U.S. You're allowed to just wander into the woods and go have an adventure. | ||
| I know, but the nanny state government that we have, I'm surprised that someone doesn't like, hey, you can't climb. | ||
| No, no, get down from there, son. | ||
| Because that's sort of the attitude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, no one ever gets in trouble at all for climbing anything as long as it's not a public building or something like that. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Unless it's on private property, in which case the landowner gets to choose. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So all public property, like public land? | ||
| Well, actually, so national parks do have some kind of recreational management plan, so you're not allowed to drill bolts or change the rock in different ways because when you climb, you often put bolts for protection. | ||
| Some people have bolts in there? | ||
| Yeah, if you're climbing up a blank face, like, say, your brick wall or something. | ||
| Like an eye hook, a giant eye hook or something? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's small, yeah, but it's small enough that you can clip your carabiner into it and then clip your rope into the beaner. | ||
| So, I mean, most national parks have some kind of plan, you know, limiting, you know, bolting and things like that. | ||
| Or, you know, they have some kind of, like, management use thing. | ||
| But for the most part, you can just go climb whatever you want. | ||
| Do you have any other crazy hobbies? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is it? | ||
| This just fulfills all of your time? | ||
| Well, yeah, I read and I travel and I, you know, do stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a fascinating life, man. | ||
| I mean, I know it's yours, and you're like, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's pretty normal, you know? | ||
| It's not pretty normal. | ||
| It's pretty normal to you. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| But I matter the most to me, you know what I mean? | ||
| I would imagine so. | ||
| To me, it's super normal. | ||
| I think it's cool. | ||
| Well, it is very cool. | ||
| It's very cool. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| I mean, your approach to this whole thing is very unique. | ||
| You're a very unique person, and that's why you... | ||
| I think it's very charming that you have this. | ||
| You've said that ten times. | ||
| The more I talk to you about how unique you are, I compliment you. | ||
| That's your take on things, but that is also why you're so good. | ||
| That's why it's so compatible with you, your personality, how you roll with things. | ||
| It must somehow or another contribute to your ability to be so good at this, or your passion and desire, the way it fits in, your square hole for your square peg, you know what I mean? | ||
| I think I've always loved it, and I put a lot of work into it, and I figure anybody that loves what they do and works hard at it is probably going to get pretty good at it. | ||
| Do you have any goals? | ||
| Are there certain mountains that you have not climbed that you want to? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I got all kinds of... | ||
| I have a lot of travel goals, like places I want to go climbing, and then I have actual climbing achievement goals, things that I want to climb or new things to do or whatever. | ||
| What's a big one? | ||
| I don't know, they're all on the DL, you know? | ||
| Oh, you can't tell people? | ||
| No, no, I mean... | ||
| Okay, you don't want to talk about it? | ||
| No, well, so I actually don't really set, like, specific soloing goals because I don't really like the... | ||
| Because normally when you set a goal, you go through the whole process of, like, you set the goal, you train for it, you achieve it, whatever, you know, you make it happen. | ||
| But the thing with soloing is I don't really like that pressure. | ||
| I don't want to feel like I have to go solo something. | ||
| So generally I set climbing goals, like routes I want to climb with a rope or, you know, places I want to go. | ||
| But for soloing, it's more like a soloing fantasy, you know, like something I'd love to do. | ||
| And I'll sort of keep it in the back of my mind, like, what kind of shape I'd have to be in to do it. | ||
| Or, like, you know, what time of year I'd have to be in what kind of shape. | ||
| But it's never like, that's my goal for the season. | ||
| It's more like, if it happens, it'd be sweet. | ||
| If not, you know, whatever. | ||
| Why has no one come up with a television show that follows you climbing up mountains and broadcasts? | ||
| I mean, people have talked about it, but the thing is, after anybody chats with me for a while, they're like, turns out that guy's actually really boring. | ||
| I don't think you're boring at all, man. | ||
| I don't think you're boring at all. | ||
| I think you're fascinating. | ||
| No, you're mellow. | ||
| You're confusing mellow with boring. | ||
| You're very interesting. | ||
| There's nothing boring about you. | ||
| You have a very distinct personality, a very distinct way of looking at this very odd life that you have that's very compatible for what you do. | ||
| It's not boring. | ||
| What you do is not even remotely fucking boring. | ||
| It's hair raising, it makes people shit their pants, my hands sweat watching your videos. | ||
| This is what I was talking about, you know, Super Bowl versus training. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like you're saying the Super Bowl stuff looks amazing. | ||
| You know, like the big solos, you're like, that's rad. | ||
| What you did on 60 Minutes you said wasn't even that big. | ||
| Well, no, I mean, but still, I only do that kind of thing a handful of times a year. | ||
| You know, the majority of the year, I'm just going out climbing with my friends, just normal climbing. | ||
| You know, the same thing that people are doing in a gym, except we're doing it outside. | ||
| Dude, they have shows, okay, where guys have pawn shops. | ||
| I don't even want to know how dumb a shows they have. | ||
| Like, I don't give a shit about bad TV. They have pawn shops, and they come in and they go, hey, man, how much you want to give me for this banjo? | ||
| I have no interest in contributing to that. | ||
| And the guy's like, I'll give you 200. Man, I need 250. I can't go 250. I'll give you a 225. That's the fucking show they're selling banjos. | ||
| That kind of shit makes the world worse, and I don't want to contribute to that. | ||
| You would not be contributing to it, my friend. | ||
| What I'm saying is that people are fascinated by shit that's not even close to as interesting. | ||
| I really think it would be an amazing show. | ||
| I think you're dead wrong. | ||
| I don't think you'd be contributing. - I mean, there's been talk. | ||
| I doubt that there will be a show, but I think there probably will be some TV type of show. - Why wouldn't there be a show? | ||
| Someone needs to fucking step up. | ||
| - Well, honestly, there's not much content. | ||
| Because, well, what, if you do like 10 episodes or something, and you have to solo something big for each one? | ||
| You probably have not watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. | ||
| Dude, and I'm glad I haven't. | ||
| This is the idea. | ||
| This is my idea. | ||
| You ready for this? | ||
| We make it a Death Squad production, and what we're going to do is we're going to bring you with Brian. | ||
| In between all of your climbing, you're going to hang out with Brian and all of his porn star friends. | ||
| Does he have porn star friends? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He dates porn stars. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Kids a mess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I can introduce you to some girls. | |
| They would like you. | ||
| They would. | ||
| They would molest you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd climb up and down them. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Throw some shit on a rock. | ||
| Yeah, look, you piqued his interest. | ||
| He's like, what kind of girls? | ||
| I want to meet porn stars. | ||
| Do you want to meet them? | ||
| Well, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, listen, it came to Vegas last week. | |
| We can make this happen. | ||
| That's an easy thing to make happen. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| That's a really easy thing to make happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to go hang out with him? | ||
| How long in town for? | ||
| Well, I was going to, from this parking lot, I was going to drive to Vegas, but... | ||
| Maybe you drive to hang out with Brian in Burbank and you all go to Olive Garden with a bunch of skanks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll bring seven of them. | |
| And by skanks, I say that lovingly just because it was the funny thing to say. | ||
| Ladies, don't be hatin'. | ||
| Do what you gotta do. | ||
| Yeah, he can introduce you to that. | ||
| See, that world to you is like, holy smoke. | ||
| Yeah, that seems exotic. | ||
| Your eyebrows went up in the air. | ||
| It changed the entire tone. | ||
| See, that's how the show gets exciting. | ||
| We bring you with him in between solo climbs. | ||
| To hang out with the porn stars. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We spice it up. | ||
| Listen, you're a mellow guy. | ||
| This would be a new, unique experience. | ||
| It's like going to Chile or taking a fucking car and driving across the desert for three days. | ||
| We're going to Chad. | ||
| Anywhere, wherever you went. | ||
| What I'm saying is it's unique. | ||
| Going to Chile, you could drive across in about four hours. | ||
| Could you really? | ||
| Chile's like this narrow. | ||
| Oh, is it really? | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I am geographically limited. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you ever climbed in Japan? | |
| I have not, but my family lived there for a while, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Your family lived in Japan? | ||
| Were they ninjas? | ||
| I was conceived in Japan. | ||
| They were not ninjas, but I wish they were. | ||
| It would be so much cooler. | ||
| What did your parents do? | ||
| At the time they were teaching English, and then they both were like college professors, you know, teaching language. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| My mom's a French teacher. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So how many different countries have you been to climbing? | ||
| I don't know, like 20, 30. Wow. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dude, you live a fascinating life. | ||
| I think it's, you're a really unique guy, and I love the fact that you don't think you are. | ||
| It's, you know, your humility is normal when it's just you, you know? | ||
| I understand. | ||
| That's why Brian hangs out with these porn stars and you're like, hey, what? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's a perfect example. | ||
| I can take you to the UFC next weekend. | ||
| Are you going to be in Vegas next weekend? | ||
| No, I'm fine. | ||
| Are you going to be in Vegas? | ||
| No, I'm fine in Mexico on Thursday. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Cancel that shit. | ||
| Listen, you want to see a crazy experience? | ||
| I'll take you to the UFC. I'll get you front row seats for one of the best UFCs ever. | ||
| Dude, this weekend? | ||
| Happening this weekend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| This Saturday night at Mandalay Bay, Frankie Edgar's fighting Jose Aldo. | ||
| Jose Aldo's this guy from Brazil. | ||
| He's one of the top pound-for-pound fighters on the planet. | ||
| So is Frankie Edgar. | ||
| Frankie Edgar was a lightweight champion. | ||
| He's dropping down to 145 to fight this guy in a super fight. | ||
| It's going to be fucking craziness. | ||
| People are flying in from Brazil. | ||
| They're flying in from the East Coast. | ||
| This guy's from New Jersey. | ||
| It's two amazing fighters. | ||
| And that's just one fight. | ||
| Alistair Overeem, who's one of the biggest guys in the heavyweight division, 265 pounds, looks like a fucking superhero from a comic book. | ||
| And he's fighting this guy, Antonio Bigfoot Silva, who has to cut weight to make 265 pounds. | ||
| I think I've heard of that guy. | ||
| They're both giants. | ||
| And Alistair is a former K-1 Grand Prix champion, like kickboxing. | ||
| K-1 Grand Prix is like the craziest kickboxing event in the world. | ||
| So he's this destroyer. | ||
| This guy, just this stand-up destroyer. | ||
| He's an ogre who can kick through a wall. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| Look, pull up a picture of Alistair Overeem because if you haven't seen, just seeing this guy alone... | ||
| He's such a freak specimen of humanity. | ||
| Six foot five, 265 pounds, and literally doesn't even look real. | ||
| And Antonio Bigfoot Silva is like a literal giant. | ||
| He actually is a giant. | ||
| How big is he? | ||
| Well, he's... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's over him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Yeah, what the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And there's Joe in the background. | |
| That's me. | ||
| That's my gig. | ||
| Wait, that's you in the background? | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I'm the commentator for the Ultimate Fighting Show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe, you need to make more crazy faces during this show. | |
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| When I don't do this or do stand-up comedy, I'm a commentator for cage fighting. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're back there being like, this guy is fucking yoked. | ||
| He's going to smash that guy's head. | ||
| I'm announcing his official weigh-in. | ||
| I'm introducing him. | ||
| The former K1 Grand Prix Champion. | ||
| So you're like, this guy is officially yoked. | ||
| Well, I don't say that. | ||
| I call out the weight. | ||
| See, every fighter has to be introduced. | ||
| Wait, that's all you do? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I was like, how hard is that? | ||
| You fucking loser. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, 265. I can say 265. That's one day. | ||
| And then the next day, I'm the commentator. | ||
| What I do is I explain the nuances of, you know, what's dangerous. | ||
| Being like, he is choking that guy to death. | ||
| No, like what he has to look out for, what's going to happen if he doesn't do that, what's going to happen. | ||
| You know, that's me at the Wayans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| It's a fan-made video. | ||
| People got silly because they took that one picture and they photoshopped it. | ||
| You know about Photoshop, right? | ||
| I've heard of that, yeah. | ||
| Out there in the woods. | ||
| I'm a little backward, you know. | ||
| If you can make it, it would be a trip. | ||
| It would freak you out. | ||
| It's going to be 15,000, 16,000 people completely sold out in Mandalay Bay Event Center. | ||
| It's going to be nuts. | ||
| It's kind of badass. | ||
| It's a wild thing to see live. | ||
| It is wild. | ||
| Because you're going to see the best martial artists on the face of the planet without a doubt. | ||
| I mean, there's a few other guys that won't be competing this Saturday night that are also the best. | ||
| But the examples of excellence that you're going to get there between Overeem and Aldo and Edgar, just those guys, and Bigfoot Silva, and there's a guy named Damian Maia from Brazil who's the baddest fucking jiu-jitsu guy on the planet in MMA, and he's fighting this guy John Fitch who's this badass American wrestler. | ||
| And, oh, it's going to be fun. | ||
| It's on your site. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| So are you commentating for it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's my other job. | ||
| That's your real job? | ||
| It's one of my jobs. | ||
| I keep a bunch of jobs. | ||
| I'm like a Jamaican. | ||
| I try to keep like three or four jobs. | ||
| But these are all things that I'm drawn to. | ||
| Just much like your thing with the mountain climbing. | ||
| It probably seems unreal to you. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| It would be another paradigm shifting moment for you to be at the UFC. To see how fucking crazy it could be. | ||
| If you can stay, please do. | ||
| Could I actually get in? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Dude, I'll get you in front row. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I will get you front row at the UFC. I feel like it's a life experience. | ||
| I will make sure that you are... | ||
| I will have you sit behind me. | ||
| I will give you a seat right behind me for the UFC. You will be right there. | ||
| The cage, you can step forward and touch it with your hand if you want to. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It'd be the nuttiest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they going to get hurt? | |
| Because I don't like seeing people get hurt. | ||
| Yeah, they're going to get hurt. | ||
| Listen, this is their job. | ||
| Their job is to try to hurt the other guy, and the other guy tries to hurt them. | ||
| But it's very scientific. | ||
| It's very technical. | ||
| I feel like it would be a good experience, though. | ||
| It's a great experience. | ||
| What it is is human competition, and it's one-on-one competition in its most difficult form. | ||
| You're using your body to try to submit and stop another person who's also using their body. | ||
| And that's all you have. | ||
| You have pads over your knuckles and your wits and your techniques and your conditioning and your training and your ability to overcome the pressure of the moment. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| It's gonna be fucking crazy! | ||
| Dude, I might just move my thing up. | ||
| You should go! | ||
| I mean, I'm just going to Mexico to go climb. | ||
| If you go, we'll fly in Brian and he'll fly in a couple of gals with loose morals and you'll have yourself a party. | ||
| Do you have anything going on this weekend, Brian? | ||
| You wanna go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| It's on! | ||
| We just made a party! | ||
| We just brought in Brian, and you'll sit... | ||
| How about you sit next to him at the UFC? With a bunch of porn stars. | ||
| He'll give you booze, and he'll tell you where to get the good ecstasy. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| We might ruin your climbing career, but trust me, you're going to have a memorable weekend. | ||
| If you can get me a sex game, I'll be super psyched. | ||
| He could definitely get you a sex candle. | ||
| All I have to do is fuck him and we'll fuck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I could do it, yeah. | |
| And that would be a sex candle. | ||
| Well, with all these cameras in here, we could just do it right here. | ||
| We could do it right here. | ||
| Just clear off these salt lamps and put the deer antlers away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll go climb the Luxor. | |
| Yeah, you could climb the Paranormal. | ||
| That's a really low angle. | ||
| That seems kind of fruity. | ||
| Pretty easy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's hilarious! | ||
| I did it on Fear Factor where they climbed the Luxor. | ||
| No, they actually slid down it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Slid down the Luxor. | |
| Like a toboggan ride? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That seems dangerous. | ||
| It probably was. | ||
| There was quite a few things they did on Fear Factor that were dangerous. | ||
| Did you have a call in deciding what they did? | ||
| No, I did not. | ||
| You just commentated or whatever? | ||
| There was two times where I would have said no. | ||
| One time where they had to ride bulls. | ||
| I definitely was not into this. | ||
| Because you thought they could actually get killed? | ||
| Yes, they could have. | ||
| We had two different stunt coordinators. | ||
| There was this one guy from the beginning who was like, you know, they're badass dudes. | ||
| You know how you're looking at climbing? | ||
| Yeah, he's like, oh, that'll be fine. | ||
| Yeah, so this guy had been a stuntman his whole life. | ||
| His name was Perry, great guy. | ||
| And his attitude was like, yeah, I would do it. | ||
| I'll fucking do it. | ||
| If his idea was that they want to be on TV, they should do it too. | ||
| But I'm cool with a lot of that until it gets to animals. | ||
| Animals are very unpredictable. | ||
| And this thing was, they were going to ride these... | ||
| I mean, these bulls were fucking enormous. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever been right next to a riding bull before, but I was standing on the... | ||
| There's a platform next to where the cage is, and I'm looking down at the bull, and I'm like, no... | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| There's no way I would get on that thing. | ||
| They're thousands of pounds and they're just bucking in there and you see his muscles and I go... | ||
| How long do they have to ride the bull? | ||
| They don't get to ride the bull very long because the bull fucking sends them into orbit within like three seconds. | ||
| A good rodeo guy tries to get to eight seconds. | ||
| It's not like there's a guy who can just do it all day long, like you can climb all day long. | ||
| No one can do that. | ||
| There's no one who's ever lived who rides a bull until the bull's tired. | ||
| It doesn't happen. | ||
| You go flying. | ||
| So it's a matter of... | ||
| How long does it take before you fail? | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It's like, try to succeed for as long as possible, but you can't win. | ||
| And then what keeps the bull from crushing you? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| They have rodeo clowns. | ||
| They have a bunch of different people that distract the bull. | ||
| But my beef was, the guy was like, well, these here are training clowns, or these are training bulls. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| He goes, well, they're not as aggressive. | ||
| I'm like, does that bull know he's a fucking training bull? | ||
| He doesn't know he's a training bull. | ||
| It's a bull! | ||
| So you're basing it on how he's thrown people off him in the past, how he's gonna throw these people off. | ||
| It's just some sort of a random calculation they make in their cowboy mind. | ||
| And so we put these people on it and they got launched. | ||
| Launched. | ||
| It was really scary. | ||
| One girl, it was really scary because she only weighed like 90-something pounds. | ||
| And she just, I mean, the bull, like, for one second she was on this bull. | ||
| And then she was literally flying through the air and the bull's kicking and the bull's foot just went right past her face. | ||
| And I was like, okay, if that bull kicked her face, it would crush every bone in her face, even though she has a helmet on. | ||
| It would still probably crush her helmet. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| And I think on that... | ||
| Who approved that shit? | ||
| NBC? Everybody that produced the show? | ||
| I think on that occasion, they essentially rolled the dice. | ||
| No one got hurt. | ||
| Everyone was fine. | ||
| But I think it was a lot of luck. | ||
| And then the other time was the donkey come. | ||
| That was the other time where I said, this is crazy. | ||
| You shouldn't do this. | ||
| I said, people don't want to eat cum, okay? | ||
| You can't just serve people cum. | ||
| I'm like, you're crossing some sort of, hey, hey, hey, you're putting out propaganda. | ||
| It's funny you say that, like what you were talking about earlier with the reality TV climbing stuff, people wouldn't follow me. | ||
| So I actually saw like a pitch for a climbing reality TV thing where they were going to- Put that down, son. | ||
| Put that down. | ||
| He bought me this photo. | ||
| He went to some AVN awards. | ||
| He goes, I brought you a present. | ||
| I'm like, oh, thanks, man. | ||
| It's this photo of guys with giant cocks in their tight jeans. | ||
| Oh yeah, I like that. | ||
| Anyway, so I saw a pitch for this climbing show where they were like, it was supposed to be Survivor meets Ultimate Fighter or something like that, but in a climbing sense. | ||
| And so it was going to take non-climbers and then professional climbers, and then we'd teach them to solo, and then we'd solo big walls, and it was this whole progression. | ||
| And I was like, how are you ever going to have a show where you take non-climbers and you solo walls with them? | ||
| You know, it's like, the liability is, you know, you're like, dude, that's retarded. | ||
| It is retarded. | ||
| And because... | ||
| Also, actually, I wrote back this scathing thing because they asked me for a casting call to you. | ||
| Can you take your email forwarded to me and I'll put it online? | ||
| I'm sure I could. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please do. | |
| We do that? | ||
| We do that? | ||
| I can't look for it, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Send it to me. | |
| People would want to see it. | ||
| Well, I was like, what the heck? | ||
| I was like, you might as well just have gladiators butchering each other on TV because you're basically just going to be watching Carnage. | ||
| I mean, because people will actually die. | ||
| Yeah, no question. | ||
| That's kind of messed up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, well, nobody wants to see someone actually die, you know? | ||
| It's so funny that you say that, but yet this is what you do every day. | ||
| You're like, people will actually die, but you do that. | ||
| And you know that you won't. | ||
| Because I spent 17 years preparing for it. | ||
| How much time would they need to be conditioned before they could do anything? | ||
| Well, it depends how easy it was. | ||
| I mean, if it was something ultra easy, I would just take any relatively fit person and take them out with a lot of supervision. | ||
| And, you know, if it's like a really easy solo. | ||
| Would you have a bunch of dudes at the bottom holding a sheet by each corner? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| No, like, you know, like my ex-girlfriend, I mean, I took her up a handful of really, really easy. | ||
| This is kind of like extreme hiking, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But, like, you know, I'd be soloing right next to her. | ||
| She's, you know, taking her time, and you're kind of, like, talking her through it. | ||
| And you're like, oh, you're good, you're good. | ||
| You know, so, I mean, like, a really fit, like, normal person. | ||
| And then you get to the top and give her some of that. | ||
| You know, something like that. | ||
| That's how to do it, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're all freaked out, full of adrenaline. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| I bet that's a wild ride. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you have to choose her or the mountain? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, did you have to get in that situation? | |
| It's either me or the mountain! | ||
| Oh, that kind of shit. | ||
| Listen, that's important. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Honestly, that was actually kind of... | ||
| Yeah, that's about it. | ||
| Did that happen before? | ||
| Was there ever a girl who was like, I can't do this? | ||
| Well, she wasn't like, me or the mountain. | ||
| But yeah, I mean, those are basically the issues. | ||
| Like, you're way too much. | ||
| You're not, like, involved enough. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's always that way. | ||
| It's always chicks. | ||
| They want you. | ||
| They're greedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once you give them some good dick, they want you all the time. | ||
| I don't know if that was my problem. | ||
| It wasn't a problem? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| You know, but... | ||
| You were doing your best, though? | ||
| I was trying super hard. | ||
| I'm sure you tried super hard. | ||
| Thanks for being honest with us, bro. | ||
| Listen, Kat, dude, you're a fascinating guy. | ||
| I think what you're doing is really very unusual, and I'm always glad when I meet someone who's doing something completely different. | ||
| You know, different than me. | ||
| It's one of the coolest things about this podcast is that we can sit down with people that, I mean, I probably would never meet you in real life. | ||
| I mean, maybe we exchange emails, but to be able to sit down face-to-face with you and have this sort of conversation. | ||
| For whatever reason, it only exists because of a medium to display it. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| I think it's just important, I think, for a human being to realize there's a lot of different ways to be a person. | ||
| A lot of different people out there. | ||
| You probably would not be happy if you were A singer in a band. | ||
| Oh my god, it'd be horrible. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Nobody else would be happy either. | ||
| They'd be like, oh no. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Some people, that's their dream. | ||
| They're in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. | ||
| It's funny you say that. | ||
| Actually, I got invited to speak at my old high school to tell the kids. | ||
| Don't climb rocks. | ||
| No, I was in this gifted and talented type program where everybody goes and becomes a doctor or whatever. | ||
| And they invited me there to speak to tell the kids that they don't have to go to college, that if they want, they can just go and live their dream and do their thing and whatever. | ||
| So it was actually super satisfying for me to go back to my old high school to be like, look, kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where was this? | |
| Where was this high school? | ||
| Mariloma, just like a high school in Sacramento. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What a cool program. | ||
| I mean, well, it's the International Baccalaureate. | ||
| It's kind of like AP program, but kind of like high-end, like... | ||
| You know, academic program. | ||
| So this is not specific to that area? | ||
| This is a national program? | ||
| Well, the program is national, but the one that is in that specific high school is quite good, and they do really well nationally and everything. | ||
| And it's just where I went to high school. | ||
| So one of my old teachers asked me to come back and tell the kids that even though your parents are expecting you to become a doctor, you don't have to. | ||
| You can just follow your dream, travel the world, do what you love to do, that kind of thing. | ||
| It was very satisfying to go back and have that talk after having gone through the program and been like, oh, I need to go to university. | ||
| I've got to get my degree. | ||
| And be like, you know what? | ||
| I mean, I think that's great. | ||
| And I really value education. | ||
| But sometimes you just got to do what you love to do. | ||
| Yeah, I value education as well, but I completely agree with you. | ||
| And I had the same issues coming out of high school. | ||
| I went to college just so that people didn't think I was a loser. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I was competing in Taekwondo tournaments back then. | ||
| There was obviously no money in that either. | ||
| But that's all I wanted to do. | ||
| And so I had to figure out some way to not be a loser. | ||
| So I started going to college while I was doing it. | ||
| All I was doing was fucking up my training. | ||
| Just taking away time that I could be napping. | ||
| And then I could be napping. | ||
| Well, when you're training that hard, when you're training for Taekwondo tournaments especially, I didn't party at all when I was in high school. | ||
| A couple of times, randomly, I had gotten drunk at a party over my entire high school career. | ||
| Maybe smoked pot twice or something like that. | ||
| But for the most part, throughout high school, I was terrified that I was going to get killed in a tournament and smashed. | ||
| So all I was doing was just eating healthy and drinking water and trying to sleep as much as possible and training like a demon. | ||
| So that feeling of being out of high school, I'm like, there's no future in this. | ||
| I was like, what am I doing? | ||
| This obsession doesn't go anywhere. | ||
| It eventually worked out, though. | ||
| But the feeling that I had, that feeling of uncertainty, I think it's so important to let other people know that you had that same feeling. | ||
| It's so important to do what you did and get in front of those kids and go, listen, Nobody has a map of where the fuck you're supposed to go. | ||
| You could go anywhere. | ||
| And there's a lot of different ways to make a living. | ||
| And if you see someone who's doing something, whether they're an author or a painter or they're flying planes, whatever it is, if someone's doing it, you can do it too. | ||
| It can be done. | ||
| Or you can do your own thing. | ||
| Or even if nobody's doing it. | ||
| Even if no one's doing it, you can be like, that is what I want to do, and god damn it, I'm going to do it. | ||
| As long as it's logical. | ||
| Unless someone needs to take you to a doctor and tell you you're fucking crazy and you can't actually fly. | ||
| There's a little of that. | ||
| But, you know, all extreme examples aside, I think it's so important to do that. | ||
| It's so important to give kids... | ||
| I mean, how many times in your life have you seen something that was inspiring, that sort of, like, pushed you and, like, give you, like, this feeling of confidence? | ||
| Like, it's like, oh, okay, that guy did that. | ||
| God, this world is kind of nutty. | ||
| There's a lot of different rooms for crazy shit. | ||
| I think a guy like you is, like, a really important example of that. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| What did it feel like to do that speech? | ||
| Did you shit your pants when you were up there? | ||
| Did you get nervous? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, I'm talking to high school kids. | ||
| You can't be that nervous. | ||
| You know, they're all like 16, all trying to get laid. | ||
| Except they're never going to, because they're all like little... | ||
| They're all nerds? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's where Brian comes in. | ||
| Porn stars. | ||
| As long as they're willing to do this on film, we can get them all laid. | ||
| This is not a problem. | ||
| I don't think that's really the school to recruit for... | ||
| For porn? | ||
| No. | ||
| See, you say that, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
They've got sticky hands. | |
| They all want to get laid, so I don't see what you're saying. | ||
| As long as their penises and vaginas work, I think we've got a problem. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And we can solve it. | ||
| Right, Brian? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That could be something that could derail the career of an aspiring person, though. | ||
| You get too much high-end pussy at a young age. | ||
| It's like winning the lottery, you know? | ||
| Because if you won the lottery, you're like, why would I work? | ||
| Why would I be inspired to go do things? | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| I have this free money. | ||
| I'm going to play Xbox until I die. | ||
| Yeah, it can kill motivation. | ||
| I think that also can happen if you fuck above your head at a young age. | ||
| Thankfully I never had that problem. | ||
| It could ruin you. | ||
| I'm still extremely motivated. | ||
| It could ruin you. | ||
| If you got a hold of some Tara Patrick type chick when you were 18 years old, do you really think you could survive that? | ||
| That girl would wreck you. | ||
| That would be all you'd think about. | ||
| You'd be on those climbing peaks and instead of thinking of your next foothold, you'd be thinking of her mouth on your penis and then it could get really problematic. | ||
| You wouldn't be focused. | ||
| You wouldn't keep your eyes on the prize. | ||
| The thrill of getting to the top but somehow or another would be dwarfed. | ||
| By the thrill of her mouth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The memory of... | ||
| The thrill of the knowledge that you know. | ||
| All you have to do is get in the same room with her and shut the door and you'll be having sex with her. | ||
| Is that all it takes? | ||
| No. | ||
| She was your girlfriend. | ||
| I think she's actually married now. | ||
| I didn't use her as an example because she has loose morals. | ||
| She's a good friend of yours. | ||
| She's a very nice person. | ||
| We've met her before. | ||
| She's very nice. | ||
| But she's married. | ||
| She's got a baby and everything. | ||
| So I don't think you can fuck her. | ||
| But I'm saying if you did when you were 18... | ||
| Yeah, it'd be a disaster for your future productivity. | ||
| It could be, right? | ||
| How do you jerk off when you're in a tent and you're in the middle of nowhere? | ||
| Do you just save it until you get back to civilization? | ||
| Don't you do the same thing you do at home? | ||
| In a tent? | ||
| Out there hiking? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, why not? | ||
| I don't think I jerk off in tents. | ||
| I say that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's waterproof. | |
| If you lived in a tent, you'd jerk off in a tent. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Just gets to a certain point where you're like, alright, I gotta just do this. | ||
| Just for maintenance. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You gotta keep the pipes clean. | ||
| But it's all on memory. | ||
| Do you bring, like, porn on a phone or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Set it up? | |
| You could, but memory is kind of the way, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or drawing it. | |
| Cave paintings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cave paintings. | |
| Have there ever been pornographic cave paintings they've ever found? | ||
| I'm sure there must be. | ||
| Well, I mean, yeah. | ||
| It's interesting the idea that these cave paintings represented reality. | ||
| Because there's a lot of weird shit that they drew. | ||
| A lot of UFOlogists and Bigfoot people look to as proof of the fact that these people experienced that. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Imagine if you looked at all of human art. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's pretty sketchy proof. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Sketchy. | ||
| Sketchy. | ||
| So, like, get it. | ||
| So, like, you know, what? | ||
| There was a real Mickey Mouse? | ||
| Like, Mickey Mouse is real because there's a drawing of Mickey Mouse? | ||
| Like, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Like, there was these guys I watched Finding Bigfoot. | ||
| We've had the Bigfoot hunter Bobo on the show before. | ||
| Fascinating conversation. | ||
| Is he legit? | ||
| He's, like, honestly hunting Bigfoot? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, he's legit in the sense that he's honestly hunting Bigfoot. | ||
| Does he really think there's a Bigfoot? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He believes he's had experiences. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is he a weirdo? | ||
| He's a little weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He could benefit from Brian's program as well. | ||
| Brian's, you know, whatever. | ||
| But his life is dedicated to finding Sasquatch. | ||
| Apparently he saw it once or twice or something like that. | ||
| He goes on these expeditions and they go looking for places where, you know, people... | ||
| What's... | ||
| A lot of fuckery involved, but the reason people keep going is because there was an animal called Gigantopithecus that lived as recently as 100,000 years ago that was an 8-foot to 10-foot tall bipedal primate. | ||
| An enormous animal that coexisted with humans. | ||
| You know, just like we drew bully mammoths, this is a real animal. | ||
| So when they have these cave paintings and drawings of this big, tall, hairy thing, it may very well have been something that existed and died off because it lived in Asia. | ||
| And much like people came to North America following the Bering Strait, it also could have done the exact same thing. | ||
| They think it's really possible, especially because of the density of the forest in the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| In fact, Jane Goodall, the primatologist, she's pretty certain that there's an actual undiscovered primate living in the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| She said she believes 100%. | ||
| She said, I'm absolutely certain, or something like that. | ||
| I forget her exact quote. | ||
| But I thought, coming from a primatologist like her, that's something to be considered. | ||
| But it also could be romantic... | ||
| Confirmation bias. | ||
| You know, she could just be psyched about monkeys. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Hoping there's a big one out there. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| She finger blasts herself to sleep every night thinking about this big ape being real. | ||
| Catch him, please. | ||
| Prove me right. | ||
| And that's how she... | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| I don't think I've ever heard anybody talk about Jane Goodall in a sexual sense. | ||
| That's how I got in trouble in science class. | ||
| There was a woman who was this science teacher. | ||
| There was a kid who was a high school quarterback who was a really smart kid. | ||
| He was very charming and charismatic. | ||
| And he would flirt with all the teachers to try to get better grades. | ||
| So I got to class early, and I drew a picture of him banging her, and she was screaming out, do it to me monkey style, like my hero, Jane Goodall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got in trouble for that. | |
| I can see that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Before I became a comedian, most of my comedy ideas were expressed from cartoons because I was sort of a drawer. | ||
| I drew a lot. | ||
| I was an illustrator when I was young. | ||
| I drew a lot of comic book type stuff. | ||
| And so I would draw teachers doing something fucked up and get in trouble. | ||
| I drew this one teacher. | ||
| She used to wear a lot of makeup. | ||
| So I drew her without her makeup and she was a werewolf. | ||
| That's fucking stupid. | ||
| But they suspended me for that. | ||
| Some shit that you would get on the internet every day and you would laugh at it. | ||
| You would L-O-L. L-U-L-Z. But back in the day, yeah, back in the day, got in trouble. | ||
| Bastards. | ||
| Did you get in trouble at all in high school? | ||
| No. | ||
| You were a good kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I never got less than an A. Never got less than an A in anything? | |
| Nope. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I graduated with like a 4.7 or something. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And you went from there to college and just like, this is just not stimulating enough. | ||
| Yeah, I just wasn't interested, you know? | ||
| I was like, I would rather be homeless. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Do you anticipate keeping this lifestyle until you die? | ||
| Traveling, living in a van, climbing whenever you can? | ||
| Yeah, well, maybe not the full-time travel until I die. | ||
| Just because at some point I'm sure I'll want to settle down. | ||
| Do you think you'll ever move up to a mobile home? | ||
| No, I'll probably get a real house at some point. | ||
| At some point in time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing is, it's hard to find a place that I'd want to live full-time. | ||
| You ever been to Boulder? | ||
| Yeah, I have. | ||
| Boulder is actually, that's like the heart of climbing in the U.S. A bunch of climbing companies are based there. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| And there's so much climbing on the Front Range there that like, yeah, that's like, that's the heart of U.S. climbing. | ||
| Yeah, when I was there, someone died. | ||
| Someone fell off one of those flat faces. | ||
| In Eldo. | ||
| Is that where it was? | ||
| Eldo Otter Canyon, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Was it? | ||
| People, I mean, a handful of people died there every year, probably. | ||
| Every year, huh? | ||
| Seems like it. | ||
| And do you guys look at those people as just people that are just inexperienced, shouldn't have been there? | ||
| Well, no, generally there's a different, I mean, there's a publication every year, Accidents in North American Mountaineering, and it's just a list of every accident that happened over the year, and they have analysis and causes. | ||
| Some accidents you read and you're like, what an idiot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What have you ever read? | |
| The first thing that comes to mind that I've always found is totally comedic is on Half Dome. | ||
| There's this long horizontal traverse where you basically walk across this little tiny ledge. | ||
| It's like the photos, I don't know if you've seen any on the internet, but there's a classic photo of me standing on this little tiny ledge and it looks all crazy. | ||
| If you don't place protection across the length of the ledge and you fall, you're going to just swing. | ||
| It's just like a pendulum straight across. | ||
| And there's a corner at the other end of it. | ||
| So if you swing the distance, you're just going to swing into this corner and just get totally messed up. | ||
| And so I read an accident of a Korean woman climbing, going big walling or whatever. | ||
| It's like their first wall. | ||
| And she gets up there and she takes out the piece of protection and is like, well, I'm going to take the swing. | ||
| Rather than crawling across the ledge or whatever, she just takes the swing, augers into the corner, breaks both her ankles. | ||
| What an idiot. | ||
| Imagine holding onto a rope swing and looking at a brick wall and being like, I'm going to swing into that wall with a 90 degree angle. | ||
| So you read an accident like that and you're like, what was she thinking? | ||
| Because it's simple. | ||
| Any kid would be like, this looks like it's going to be a Terrible idea, you know? | ||
| I mean, it's pretty simple physics, you know? | ||
| But then, at the other end of the spectrum, you see accidents where it's just, like, some totally safe family man or something, and, like, you know, an ice pillar collapses on him, like, say, winter climbing or something, because that happens a lot when people are ice climbing. | ||
| Things just collapse or whatever. | ||
| And you just get hit with ice and you're dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or, like, rock fall or something. | ||
| Or like freaking the head of Knowles, I think, you know, the National Outdoor Leadership School, like the outdoor program. | ||
| He was climbing some peak in Montana or Wyoming or somewhere and tourists up on top were throwing rocks off the top like, oh, we're on top. | ||
| And he got hit by a rock and died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| And like you hear that kind of an accident and you're like, that just sucks because, I mean, you feel bad for the dude on top though too because you're like... | ||
| How could he know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the rock had poop on it. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's a big old rock full of poop. | ||
| Yeah, it's you. | ||
| You're hurling rocks into your piss. | ||
| You ever thought about that? | ||
| Good point, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ever thought about that? | |
| No, for sure. | ||
| You say, hey there down below, I'm about to throw my shit and it's attached to a rock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is everyone cool with this? | ||
| It's super poor form to throw rocks. | ||
| I mean, shit pudding is actually strongly discouraged. | ||
| But generally, that only happens early morning when it started during the night and then you have to poo and then whatever and you assume there's nobody there. | ||
| Have you ever had any weird wildlife experiences? | ||
| Mountain lions, bears, anything like that? | ||
| I mean, I've had bears eat my backpack a couple of times. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, photos on my phone of a bear eating my backpack. | ||
| But that happens in Yosemite all the time because the bears are so desensitized to humans that they're used to interacting. | ||
| There's been a few deaths in Yosemite recently. | ||
| Not from bears? | ||
| Yes, there has. | ||
| Yeah, there's been two very recently. | ||
| How recently? | ||
| Really recently. | ||
| People getting killed by a bear? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| I'm absolutely positive. | ||
| Because people died from a hantavirus this last season. | ||
| I'm absolutely 100% positive. | ||
| Yosemite... | ||
| In the winter? | ||
| Grizzly bear. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| There are no grizzlies in California. | ||
| They're black bears. | ||
| Yosemite is not just California, though, right? | ||
| Oh, you're talking about Yellowstone. | ||
| Oh, did I say Yosemite? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| In Yellowstone, there are grizzlies, and they probably did get killed by bears. | ||
| Yosemite, grizzly, yeah. | ||
| There's California... | ||
| They killed the last grizzly. | ||
| Yellowstone grizzly kills hikers. | ||
| Yeah, it's Yellowstone. | ||
| It's Yellowstone. | ||
| Yellowstone recently. | ||
| I confused the two of them together. | ||
| No, that makes sense. | ||
| So they killed off all the bears. | ||
| They had grizzlies in Yosemite and they killed them. | ||
| In the state flag of California or whatever, it's a grizzly bear, but they killed the last grizzly in like 1850 or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The last California, it says it here, that they were killed. | ||
| That's fascinating because they know that polar bears travel long distances. | ||
| Do grizzly bears ever try to come from places that they don't? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| They have to walk across Nevada. | ||
| Is that what it would be? | ||
| Nevada is kind of a grim place to walk across. | ||
| There's a lot of desert. | ||
| Because they know that mountain lions have made that trip, which is really kind of creepy. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Mountain lion pressure has changed because they don't hunt them. | ||
| 1922 was the last time a grizzly was killed in California. | ||
| The Sierra Foothills in 1922. The last one. | ||
| The mountain lions are hunted in Nevada, but in California they don't hunt them anymore. | ||
| So they've started moving from Nevada into California. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| It's like they've sort of figured out that there's no hunting pressure in California. | ||
| Actually, I was just reading this article about urban animals, about small predators like foxes and coyotes and stuff adapting to urban environments. | ||
| And how there's footage of a coyote going to an intersection, looking both ways, and then crossing the road. | ||
| Because basically animals learn the same way anybody else does. | ||
| It's pretty funny stuff to think about a little fox living in a skyscraper and using the streets just like anybody else. | ||
| Yeah, it is interesting. | ||
| They've got a bunch of coyotes that they have tagged that are living in Chicago. | ||
| That was actually the example, the article I was reading was about Chicago. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that nice? | ||
| I mean, I think there's like 60 of them. | ||
| They eat the rats and all that shit. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| But they have track of them. | ||
| I think they have radio bands on them and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, all the bears in Yosemite are tagged. | ||
| Are they with all of them? | ||
| Well, I mean, except for little cubs and stuff. | ||
| But yeah, they tag the bears each season. | ||
| So, Yosemite is California. | ||
| Yellowstone is part of its California. | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| It's just Wyoming? | ||
| Yellowstone is Wyoming. | ||
| I don't know if it's the surrounding states, but it's Wyoming. | ||
| And that has bears. | ||
| They have grizzlies. | ||
| That has grizzlies, yeah. | ||
| You ever go up there hiking? | ||
| I mean, I have as a tourist and as a kid and stuff. | ||
| And the Tetons, Grand Teton National Park is also adjoining Yellowstone. | ||
| So the Yosemite bears that attacked your bag were just black bears? | ||
| Yeah, they're just little black bears. | ||
| They just eat your food and stuff. | ||
| They don't really attack people. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think anyone's ever been attacked by a bear in Yosemite. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| I mean, they're cute little bears. | ||
| I mean, they're totally... | ||
| I mean, they're cuddly looking. | ||
| But it's just that they're around people so much that they get used to it and then they eat your shit. | ||
| It's kind of annoying. | ||
| Yeah, when you see people feeding bears out of their car... | ||
| You want to punch them in the face. | ||
| Yeah, that's a real problem. | ||
| You don't see that in Yosemite. | ||
| Is that Yellowstone where they do that? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Did you ever see that video? | ||
| It's one of those faces of death videos where a guy got out of the car to take photos with a grizzly and they were feeding the bears. | ||
| Was he like an Asian tourist or something? | ||
| He must have been completely retarded. | ||
| I don't know what his deal was, but there's a video of the guy. | ||
| He's in the car. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You've got a fucking mall in front of everybody while they're filming it. | ||
| They wanted to take pictures of him out there feeding the bears. | ||
| The bears saw him and they're like, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, why take the little piece of meat when I can take the whole piece of meat? | ||
| That's pretty messed up. | ||
| Yeah, people don't understand how dangerous grizzlies are. | ||
| They think that just because they can be in their car and throw the stuff out the window that somehow or another you can stand outside the car like a guy who's really ballsy. | ||
| Thinks he could go out there and do that. | ||
| But that's a lot of meat to, like, dangle in front of them. | ||
| Like, you look like meat, man. | ||
| They know that. | ||
| You smell like meat, for sure. | ||
| Have you seen the video? | ||
| Did we show that video, Brian, of the guy in Antarctica who's in the grizzly box? | ||
| Wait, in the Arctic, you mean? | ||
| Not Antarctica. | ||
| He's in the Arctic, and he's in a polar bear plexiglass-like box. | ||
| Did we show that? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Did he just get worked by bears? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He went up there on purpose. | ||
| We'll pull it up for you just so you can take a look at it. | ||
| Yeah, but he's in like an armored case. | ||
| Yeah, it's an upcoming documentary that they filmed that they designed this piece of equipment, this structure, just specifically so this guy could be dropped off there and have these bears try to get at him. | ||
| Well, he's like sitting there while this enormous polar bear is like chewing at it and sniffing it and opening his mouth and trying to bite it. | ||
| It's so terrifying when you're watching it because it seems like it's kind of intense. | ||
| Oh, it's so intense. | ||
| Well, they can't get in. | ||
| They designed it well. | ||
| The bear cannot get in. | ||
| But there's like spots where, you know, like air slots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when it gets to the air slot, it's like... | ||
| And then it opens its mouth and it's trying to bite it. | ||
| It can't quite, but it's so big. | ||
| I didn't understand for whatever reason. | ||
| I knew they were big, but it takes seeing it next to a person to really conceptualize like, oh... | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I mean, it's like 12 feet tall. | ||
| It's unbelievably big. | ||
| And this guy's in there, and this thing has just got its arms around the box, and it's trying to bite it, and it's trying to figure out where the fuck it is. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Look at that box that this guy's in. | ||
| And he's up there just chilling around for this... | ||
| What is the BBC? I'll give it a plug so that people know what it is. | ||
| Is it the BBC? Yeah, it's a BBC documentary, Polar Bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's from Gordon Buchanan. | |
| Gordon Buchanan, what is the name of the show? | ||
| It's a nature documentary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| He's right here. | ||
| Hey there. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The bear's nose is thousands of times more powerful than mine. | |
| It's gathering information before it approaches, like it would when stalking a seal. | ||
| My scent is strongest at the weakest point, the door. | ||
| Imagine that door opened. | ||
| It's systematically trying from all angles. | ||
| Look at the size of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Being this close, I get an appreciation for what this animal is. | |
| It is one of the most powerful animals on the planet, one of the most intimidating animals on the planet, and one of the few animals that actually see us as food. | ||
| I wonder how that guy got signed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The bear's nose has led it to a gap. | |
| You can sniff me. | ||
| My gosh, I could have actually touched his nose. | ||
| I'm getting a little... | ||
| I just feel the pressure. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That space is flexing. | ||
| Keeps trying to crawl through. | ||
| See if she can... | ||
| If you haven't seen this video, folks, you've got to go online and just watch it. | ||
| This is just a clip. | ||
| The video is... | ||
| I believe it airs... | ||
| Oh, okay, it aired already. | ||
| It's called The Polar Bear Family and Me. | ||
| It aired Monday, January 7th. | ||
| On BBC2, but you can find it online, and you've got to see it just to see how fucking insane that animal is. | ||
| I want to watch the rest of that. | ||
| I'm totally engrossed. | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| Well, I would imagine that a guy like you that's so into thrills, that would be... | ||
| Well, I'm not into getting eaten by bears. | ||
| I'm not saying that you'd want to do it, but that would be fascinating to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty hardcore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever had to climb anything in ice? | ||
| Actually, I went ice climbing for the first time last week in Salt Lake. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did you climb? | ||
| Like where a waterfall is or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it's called? | |
| Ice climbing? | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| It's like a water course, and ice builds up. | ||
| So what we did was called the Great White Icicle, but it's almost like a steep wall-slash-gully that forms up with a lot of steps of ice. | ||
| So you climb a little cliff of ice, and then you go up a steep snow slope, and then another ice cliff, and whatever. | ||
| Is that real unpredictable? | ||
| Uh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it can be. | ||
| I would think that there's a lot- For sure it's much less predictable than rock, you know, because it's constantly, like, changing temperature and, you know- Do pieces fall off and hit you or anything like that? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Ugh, shit. | ||
| That's part of the reason I've never been that into it. | ||
| I think it's kind of sketchy. | ||
| So you just- sketchy. | ||
| So you just did it as a- just like, fuck it, let me just do this. | ||
| Well, just to learn how, basically. | ||
| Because I'm pretty sure I might be doing some trips to, like, Alaska or something this year to climb bigger granite rock faces. | ||
| But the thing is, when you go to places like that, I mean, it's still climbing, like, a big granite wall, which is what I normally do, but then on top there'll be, like, some sections of ice or whatever. | ||
| And you have to at least be comfortable, like, hiking in your crampons and things like that. | ||
| So I was like, well, I've got to at least learn how to use all this gear, you know? | ||
| So I went out and practiced. | ||
| Do you have any desire to do Everest? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, if somebody would pay for the trip, I probably would, just for like the life experience. | ||
| But it's definitely not like a climbing thing. | ||
| Actually, somebody posted some rant that you had maybe from stand-up comedy or something about making fun of people on mountains, which I was like, you know, fair enough. | ||
| The Everest one. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| I have to. | ||
| You know, it's material. | ||
| I mean, well, the thing is climbers make fun of that stuff, too, because like what people do in Everest is so far removed from actual climbing that it's like, you know, they don't even compare really. | ||
| It's more of a hike, right? | ||
| Well, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's a hike, but I don't know if it was your rant or another one, but I mean, you're basically hiring Sherpas to do all the actual climbing for you. | ||
| And then, you know, if you're like a conventional Western client, whatever, you know, I mean, you're basically shuttled up a mountain. | ||
| It's like, I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Actually, so I climbed Kilimanjaro like that with my girlfriend and, well, my then girlfriend in September. | ||
| And just as kind of like a tourist vacation, you know, like, oh, it'll be fun. | ||
| And it was my first experience with people, like, carrying all your stuff for you and setting up your tent for you and doing all the work. | ||
| And I was like, dude, this is pretty, it's pretty freaking funny. | ||
| I mean, I felt weird about it, but like, I mean, it is a vacation. | ||
| I can see why people would do that for, you know, to feel extreme because you're like, oh, I climbed the biggest mountain in Africa, but it was like a dude brewing me tea every day and setting it up for me. | ||
| You know, but as far as like going somewhere with a girlfriend, you know, I was like, oh, it's a pretty legit vacation. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| And we got to see more of Africa, you know? | ||
| That's like full service camping. | ||
| Yeah, no, it was. | ||
| It was like, I was like, dude, this is as good as I live at home or better, you know? | ||
| I was like, this is pretty legit, you know? | ||
| That's fascinating, man. | ||
| Listen, dude, you live an amazing life. | ||
| It's really awesome. | ||
| And I really appreciate you taking the time to come in here and sit down and shoot the shit with us. | ||
| It was fascinating and intriguing. | ||
| And thank you and best of luck to you and stay healthy. | ||
| And I would love to have you come back here and do this again, man. | ||
| I'm sure people love you. | ||
| We love to hear your stories. | ||
| If you want to do that thing with Brian, he's down. | ||
| This weekend, are you going to come to the UFC? Is it on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe I'll ask you about it. | ||
| This is a rare opportunity. | ||
| This doesn't happen that often where you're going to be in the same place. | ||
| I think I might actually. | ||
| We're going to have to do this. | ||
| We'll talk about it. | ||
| We'll talk about it. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Really appreciate it. | ||
| Alex Honnold, ladies and gentlemen, please follow him on Twitter. | ||
| It's Alex Honnold, H-O-N-N-A-L-D. OLD. OLD. I'm sorry. | ||
| Don't go to that ALD because that's a different dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy's getting bombed on right now. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I don't even climb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| H, spell it for everybody. | ||
| H-O-N-N-O-L-D. H-O-N-N-O-L-D. Thank you very much, man. | ||
| Follow Brian, Redband, R-E-D-B-A-N. And you probably already follow me, or you probably already follow Brian, too, so whatever. | ||
| Why am I talking? | ||
| Thank you to Ting.com. | ||
| Go to Rogan.Ting.com and save $25 off of a free phone, or free phone? | ||
| Or an Android phone, or service online. | ||
| Contract-free is what I meant to say. | ||
| Awesome Android goodness and a very ethical company. | ||
| Thank you also to Kerosene Games for their Blade Runner game. | ||
| Go check it out. | ||
| Download it off iTunes. | ||
| It's $2.99 and it's totally fucking worth it. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com. | ||
| Go to O-N-N-I-T and use the code name Rogan and you will save 10% off any supplements. | ||
| Tomorrow we have Tim Ferriss. | ||
| So we will see you guys all tomorrow. | ||
| Tim Ferriss has some really crazy cool shit to tell us and he's a fascinating and really unique individual. | ||
| So if you've never heard of him, he's the author of The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, and just a brilliant dude and a great guy. | ||
| So we'll see him tomorrow and we'll see you tomorrow. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| Can I see a big kiss? |
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