Joe Rogan and comedian Jamie Kilstein clash over free speech in comedy, debating Daniel Tosh’s infamous "rape" heckler joke—Kilstein argues it fuels rape culture (1 in 6 women assaulted), while Rogan defends ad-libbing as uncensored art, criticizing Liz Winstead’s ideological interruptions. Kilstein links religious dogma to harmful policies like torture and profiling, contrasting it with jiu-jitsu’s humility, while Rogan warns against framing politics as physical confrontations. They agree on targeted welfare over blanket payments but disagree on comedy’s boundaries, ultimately urging respect despite differing views. [Automatically generated summary]
I don't know, because it's a squeeze bottle, like a spray bottle that you spray a cat with or something like that, and this is like a high-powered water pick in your ear.
Apparently, well, let's talk about this in the podcast because I do want to bring up this new thing that's been going on where people are selling illegal drugs over the internet and getting away with it somehow or another.
But before we get into anything, we have commercials.
We have a very fucking flawed model, ladies and gentlemen, of how we handle these things.
We don't operate in a very professional manner.
And I don't know if it's good or bad, but at least you know what the fuck is up.
There's no producers behind the scenes directing Brian and I to be better at this.
So, it's not happening.
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Occasionally we have other sponsors.
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We've got to give Jamie Kilstein some before he goes and rolls.
This fucking stuff is tremendous.
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I'm not sure how it works, but it was discovered apparently by high-altitude herders who, their animals, they noticed after eating these mushrooms.
Would have more pep to them.
And apparently it's grown off of a fucking caterpillar.
It's very complicated.
But there's, you know, like what people are able to do today, like harvesting live organisms like acidophilus and different mushrooms and things like that.
It's really kind of fascinating.
But the way they have to do this cordyceps mushroom is particularly difficult.
But very worth it for athletes.
And it's not something that's illegal either.
It's not something where you're going to piss hot if you want to win the Olympics.
You know what I'm saying?
So I don't have to worry about it.
Destiny hooker.
They're not like steroids or anything.
But it is very effective, as is this new hemp force protein that we just got.
This is the highest quality plant-based protein you can buy.
And we have to get it from Canada, unfortunately, because we have a retarded government!
And our retarded government, believe it or not, even though it's legal in Vermont, and I believe in two other states, but most certainly Vermont.
They were the pioneers.
They made it legal to grow hemp in the state of Vermont.
Well, why is that?
Because hemp is not psychoactive.
You can't get high from it.
You will not test positive for THC. Did you know that if you eat poppy seed bagels, that you can test positive for heroin?
Yeah.
That's how crazy this world is.
That does not happen with hemp.
If you eat the hemp fiber, you do not get any THC in your system.
So you're not going to test positive for marijuana.
But it is a really easily digestible form of protein.
And the stuff that we got is hemp hearts.
It is the highest quality stuff available.
It's not cheap.
It's expensive.
It's hard to get.
And the reason why is because our government is filled with cunts.
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But it is a really effective plant-based product.
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We also have kettlebells and battle ropes available.
If you've never done those, they're fucking tremendous real man type exercises.
Battle ropes are goddamn brutal.
You would never think throwing some ropes would be so fucking hard, man.
But I'd get out there and wail on those motherfuckers for 30 seconds, and then take 20 seconds off and wail on them for 30 seconds.
Holy shit, is that a workout?
This is, I think, all you need if you want to get in shape.
There's a lot of people that join exercise gyms, and you wind up doing Stairmasters, and you wind up doing leg extensions, and all this crazy shit you do on machines.
This is all you need for fitness, okay?
Bodyweight squats are fucking fantastic, okay?
That's one.
Bodyweight squats, chin-ups.
Do a lot of chin-ups.
How many chin-ups can you really fucking do?
Go after it.
Yeah, all the way down.
Go after it, okay?
Just that alone will make you ridiculously strong.
Doing a fuckload of chin-ups, okay?
It's a natural bodyweight movement.
And kettlebells.
And what's great about kettlebells is They're these cannonballs with handles on them.
And they're fucking awkward as shit.
And you're swinging them around, and you're forcing your body to control and balance this giant-ass cannonball.
And when you do that, whether you're doing them...
Sometimes I do them with two hands.
I have certain exercises that I do with two hands that are fucking brutal.
I'll take two 70-pounders and do this just ridiculous assault on your body.
And you can't do it for more than 30 or 40 seconds.
I do these 40-second reps with it.
What it is, it's cleans, press, squat.
And then I swing it down.
Cleans, press, squat.
And I do the whole thing in a series.
And I do this series like I try to do 20 reps.
And when I get to 20 reps, it's It's death!
It's fucking death!
You're swinging 140 pounds, pressing it up, holding it on each hand.
I mean, it has made me substantially stronger, really increased my jiu-jitsu game, made positions stronger, I have better balance, I have more...
If the government were ever to investigate you, your sponsors are evidence that you are trying to start an army.
For, like, when shit goes down.
He's like, yeah, like, I've never heard a show, like, I'm used to, like, I remember, like, the old, like, the fleshlights or people advertising condoms or fucking Bud Light, but it's like, you need these to make you strong for when you know what happens.
Dude, people have gotten angry at Brian, and here's one of my favorite fucking arguments.
A dude was angry at Brian because we were talking about Android phones, and I always look at Android phones, and I look at him and I'm like, ooh, that's a fucking big screen.
That looks so pretty.
And Brian was like, yeah, they're still clunky.
They're kind of funky.
Some guy argued, you don't even know what you're talking about.
Maybe the regular user interface is clunky, but I've hacked into my droid, and I've used a different, whatever the fuck they call it, I've rooted it, and used a different OS. They hacked the operating system, changed the way it looks, and they go, see?
And they go, oh, it's Apple TV. So now if you go on eBay or if you go on Amazon.com and you look at Apple TV, like the new version is like $99 and the old version is like $300 because they're so in...
I mean, like journalists and stuff, when we were covering Occupy, like if someone stole my phone, I look like a fucking crazy person because the only pictures I have in my phone are cops beating the shit out of protesters.
And then you flip it and it's like, oh, there's my Hitler cat and like my fat cat.
And it's like my cat's holding...
And then you turn it, and it's just like a fucking bloody kid, like, screaming for help.
And then you turn it, and it's like, oh, a penny's in a box!
Like, that's it.
It's fucking my cats and police brutality is my phone.
I think it was way worse before they were accountable.
I think now we're seeing it, and they realize, like, do you know how much that UC Davis cuntbag guy who sprayed pepper in those little children's faces, that piece of shit, do you know how bad he must have felt after that was over?
Like a lot of the schools in California especially are, you know, we don't have time for school because we're not going to tax billionaires, blah, blah, blah.
Which, by the way, anyone listening to the show That's like, I'm a small business owner.
And they got their money by making you really poor.
And so, yeah, so the dean was expecting this huge protest because, like, thousands of people showed up.
And what ended up happening when she was leaving, it was like dusk, and there were thousands of people, but instead, you know, screaming and chanting or whatever, fucking throwing glitter on her, they were silent.
It was this parking lot of, like, Thousands of just silent people and she just had to walk to her car in fucking shame.
Like with her head down and just...
You have thousands of eyes on you and no one's saying anything.
I think you'd be a good person to ask about police brutality.
There's part of me that thinks...
People really loved the idea of tasers and even weapons they use at protests like rubber bullets and stuff like that.
And even though now it's come out that many people have died, many times the people who have been tasered have been the elderly, mentally handicapped, people who really did not Innocent people, children, people who do not necessarily need to be...
Weren't really a threat, right?
I mean, there was literally a story recently.
We talked about it on the show, but I'm forgetting the details.
But, like, a kid was just, like, getting suspended or whatever.
Okay, I think taser the fuck on that idiot that runs in the field because he's a retard, okay?
And we need to show everybody that it really sucks when you run onto a field because we got a shitty, stupid, cappity...
Copycat Society, where if one asshole gets away with charging a baseball player and gets a high five out of the baseball player before he gets tackled to the ground.
By the way, the officers that are tackling to the ground, when you get into a physical altercation with somebody, you risk really getting hurt.
And when you're a guy who's just, look at this, this guy's running around, he's a fucking idiot, he's ruining the game, taser this asshole.
Okay, once he's down, they shouldn't have tasered him.
This is what the problem was.
Unless they tasered him to drop it, it looked like he dropped himself.
Now you can get fucking zapped to death if you're an asshole.
Because we don't need any encouragement for assholes.
This is what I believe.
This is what I believe can stop this whole police brutality problem.
We have to make our relationship with the cops different.
The cops are supposed to be respected members of our community that are there to help us when the shit goes wrong.
It's become, by shitty management and by old asshole, cunt, fuckhead, those white shirt douchebags that you see punching kids, it all trickles down from the top and they establish the attitude for the younger officers.
And these guys who go into the police academies with good intentions can be corrupted by old jaded motherfuckers that have a shitty way of We're looking at people.
But we have to look at it differently too.
This us versus them mentality a lot of times comes from people that have a distrust of police from the past or of things that they've seen when it comes to corruption or things they've seen when it comes to brutality.
Or they're just a bunch of assholes that are always doing crimes because they always have to deal with cops going, cup the shit!
Yeah, but Alley Cat and his buddies were these big fucking hockey player looking dudes.
They were tough-ass Boston dudes.
And they had been working in the security business for years.
They were just down to fuck people up.
They weren't necessarily like martial arts, trained martial artists.
But you know, they knew how to fight.
They were ready to fuck people up.
So it was the most ridiculous setup ever.
These drunk, idiot concertgoers surrounded by trained killers who are led by a complete psychopath who encouraged you to fuck up people who stepped out of line.
A real commonplace analogy is whenever you're a pedestrian walking around New York, and you're like, these fucking idiot taxis and stuff like that, and then you're in a cab or a car, and you're like, fucking run them over, these asshole pedestrians.
Where it's like, yeah, you just get into this fucking moat.
And here's the thing.
When we were at NATO, which erupted for the protests in Chicago, the first day, the cops were actually like, the cops I talked to were super chill.
Where one dude saw I had a jiu-jitsu shirt on, and he's like, where are you trained, man?
So, like, Allison and I actually got, like, the closest...
Pretty much I thought this, like, white cop, I thought I, like, charmed him.
And what happened was we kept, like, breaking through the police lines for some reason.
And in New York, usually what happens is protesters on one side, cops on one side.
Either a protester moves or a cop moves.
Something happens.
The police swarm in.
They start tackling some kid.
And what was great about New York is there was this, like, camaraderie among all the journalists where suddenly you had 50 journalists, like the cops right here.
You had 50 journalists over taking pictures, asking what the kid's name is.
You had lawyers.
The lawyers' guilds would wear hats so people knew the lawyers.
Dude, I'll show you a picture after the show that I have to find on my phone where it's just like, it was the anarchists, the black block, and it was just a banner that said, fuck the police, and they were here, and the police were here.
And some of the cops were like, eh, they don't mean it.
This white shirt actually saved our ass, so he was one of the guys I was talking to the day before, and we were kind of friendly, and so we knew I was pressed.
Growing up like that, I always assumed everybody was crazy.
I always assumed that everyone...
When you have a father that has a fuse that's like a half an inch long, and it'll just explode on someone and beat the shit out of someone in front of you.
Where, like, a lot of the protesters who were trying to reason with these cops are just like, dude, we are fighting so you can get pensions.
So you're fucking...
Benefits aren't going to get taken away.
And the problem with the cops is they should be getting paid a shitload of money.
For any cop who has already turned this off and was like, Kielstein, huh?
And has left.
If there are friends around, please play this part as well.
They should be getting paid so much more.
Fuck yeah.
The same as a manager awarded a shitty retail job.
Of course you're going to be fucking angry.
I had a friend who I do jujitsu with who when we first started talking about Occupy, he's a cop.
When we first started talking about Occupy, he was like, yeah, I totally support him and they have the right to be down there and blah, blah, blah.
And then by the time it was like three months in, And he got dragged down and they're not making overtime and shit like that.
Suddenly a kid runs behind the barrier and this guy's like, fuck that kid.
I'm not even getting fucking paid what I should be getting paid for this.
Fuck that kid.
And then he tackles him.
And then everyone sees him and a lot of the protesters assume, well, that guy is a fucking asshole.
He's the problem.
And it's like, well, he was on your side a couple months ago, but he's getting dicked around by his fucking bosses who don't have to be out there and who are making way more fucking money and who are like, Essentially, career politicians, not even fucking cops, you know what I mean?
It's going to breed so much fucking resentment towards everyone.
But in reality, it's just like, again, unless you're making billions of fucking dollars, anytime you see a protester and you scream, get a job, even though a lot of them fucking have jobs, they're teachers and nurses, and they're just not making enough money.
Or they have a shred of fucking empathy, which so many people seem to lack nowadays.
When you see them, it's like they're sticking up for you.
They want to make sure you don't fucking have to suddenly start paying a shitload for Medicare for your grandmother.
Yeah, it's putting people in a very unnatural situation and asking them to behave normally.
Both cops and protesters.
Putting people in a situation where...
The cops have to listen to...
Look, not every protestor is fucking smart.
You know how many protesters are saying dumb shit to the cops all day?
And the cops are stuck in traffic, getting over there, their job sucks.
It's a dangerous fucking creepy job being the enemy, folks.
It's a dangerous creepy job.
So it's an unnatural position that most people should not be asked to be in.
But I completely agree that cops should be paid a fuckload of money as should teachers.
Those are two things that is a sign of a sick society.
If you look at the way we spend money on foreign wars and this idea of policing places we're never gonna fucking visit that have been that way for thousands of years.
Fuck you!
To do that and not want to spend money on schools and not want to spend money on cops.
It's just indicative of how corrupt our society is.
We have the money.
If everybody just worked and used their resources the way we would want them used, if we used our resources in this country the way that people would actually vote on, if we could all vote on what percentage of money should be put on national defense, what percentage should be on education, you'd be amazed.
If we could decide, you'd be amazed at how quickly things could change.
The argument is that it's weakened on purpose in order to make sure that they always have a steady supply of rubes to work for them and do their bidding.
For all these people who are like, get a fucking job, you know, all these people get a job.
It's like, because there haven't been jobs in their fucking community.
They can't buy produce in their community.
There haven't been jobs there for years except for fucking drug dealing and their dad was arrested for drug dealing so then this kid had to take care of his fucking mother, right?
So then he ends up drug dealing and then fucking he goes to jail and then you get out of jail and what?
You're just going to start fucking applying to Ivy League schools?
You're going to look for like internships in the media business?
Like of course you're going to fucking drug deal because that's the only way to put money on your – To feed your family.
Here's the real issue that people have, the people that don't want to pay more taxes.
Here's the issue that people have.
The number one, the most prevalent point is they don't want lazy people to get free money.
That is it.
And that is a real point.
And that's being ignored by the left and to a certain extent because we really do have to look at the welfare mindset because it is a terrible psychological mindset.
But at the same time, you lose your job, for example, right?
You lose your job, you lose your benefits.
Back before the Affordable Care Act, which I have problems with, again, before anyone through this, before the Affordable Care Act, you couldn't re-get health insurance if, let's say you were sick, let's say you had cancer, because that was a pre-existing condition.
So now you got fired, you're not getting any money, or maybe even if you are getting welfare money, but now suddenly you have to pay for your own fucking cancer treatment.
And so then what happens?
Well, he doesn't have insurance.
So then he goes to the hospital.
They have to see him.
And if he can't fucking pay, then the hospital pays for it.
The more children she has, the more money she gets.
Her kids all become criminals.
This is me and my wife.
They're all being raised by idiots in a terrible environment, and everyone's on welfare and food stamps, and people don't want their money to continue to go to that.
Right, but I don't necessarily think that sending them a check is the way to do it.
I'm not saying that they don't deserve attention.
They most certainly do.
I have always said, and I say it on this podcast all the time, that if you want to make the country a better place, The first thing you've got to do is make sure there's less losers.
So you have to find children and give them hope.
And so you've got to give a kid who, you know, has got a shit roll of the dice and give them an opportunity.
And I think there's plenty of people and plenty of resources to accomplish that.
And I think it should be our number one goal as Americans.
If we really truly consider this a tribe, if we really are a tribe of 300 million people, We can't ignore the shittiest part of the tribe.
But money is not the answer.
Spending money on programs and education and having community centers and giving them a sense of community, building up a sense of community, making sure that everyone has food, okay?
Taking that out of the equation so people don't have to worry about fucking starving to death.
I'm 100% for that.
But just giving them a check, I don't agree with that.
I think maybe we should set up places where they can all...
Like community centers where anyone can eat at any time.
But I think that's why Occupy got so popular because, you know, it wasn't just resentment because you're wealthy.
You know what I mean?
I think, like, Chael had that quote where he was saying that, like, liberals don't – liberals don't – like, they – Something like, they hate wealthy people.
It wasn't like, you know, it made it more of like, oh, we're jealous, we just don't like you for being rich.
I had a couple people who, and then I'll get to the positive point, but I had a couple people who, and we have tens of thousands of liberal kids who listen to us, and maybe this was like four or five tweets, but they were so obnoxious that those were the ones I fucking focused on.
Of course.
Where I did Conan, which have not been invited back.
I talked about drone strikes, criticized Obama.
And on the same episode, I was like, I wonder why they got so much hate mail.
And then the other guests, it was some child star and Kobe Bryant.
And I was like, oh, that makes sense.
That's not really my crowd.
And so talking about drone strikes, did literally everything I could.
To make it as different and edgy, just walk the fucking line as close as I could.
And someone immediately was like, yo bro, TBS is owned by this giant corporation.
And I'm like, go fuck yourself and die.
What am I supposed to do?
There are going to be those left of left, miserable people who wouldn't be happy unless it was like, this is Citizen Radio live from a box in an alley.
They send me tweets and emails whenever they catch them and they throw glitter on them.
They showed up at his place and dressed as barbarians.
And I fucking love that.
I love that.
Because Marcus Bachman, if you don't know who he is, his wife, Michelle Bachman, at one point in time, somehow or another they thought she was going to be a Sarah Palin type character, only even nuttier.
And they were going to try that out.
But we're not ready for this yet.
We're not ready for a lady who not only probably thinks the earth is 10,000 years old, but has a fucking gay husband.
That blows my mind that religion is the one thing where you don't need I'm an atheist and when I first read the big atheist books and stuff, there was part of me that didn't want to go around and like, I don't know.
There is part of you, like, when you first read something that you had no idea and you're like, "Fuck, man, I've been lied to for so long," that you do want to take it to an extreme.
Or, like, if you see a kid who's like, "Merry Christmas," be like, "Fuck you, there is no Christmas, idiot," and, like, kick him over and be like, "Read Christopher Hitchens, asshole." But, like, then once you kind of calm down and, you know, you—people are going to be religious and, say, not hurt people or just because they believe in something and it makes them happier, it makes them feel whole, like, that's fine.
I had a revelation and it became like a bit that's in my act now.
But I really did have this revelation on a boat looking at some dolphins.
And I was thinking of how smart dolphins are.
What is it like to be a dolphin, like dolphin consciousness?
I was thinking how strange it is, like being a dolphin, like the way he thinks of himself is exactly the way I think of myself.
We're just trapped in different worlds.
Like I can manipulate things with my fingers and he has to kill things with his face.
And I thought about like, would I be him if I was a dolphin?
And then I thought about people and I was like, how fuck would it be if we are literally all the same thing and that we're looking at ourselves Through different life experiences.
We're looking at ourselves with different genetics.
But if you were that little kid with cerebral palsy, you would be him.
If you lived his life, you were born him, you would be him.
And if he lived your life, he would be you.
And it's like we are just a unique combination of hormones and life experiences combined with a soul and the entity, the consciousness, whatever the fuck it is, that has to go through life and make the decisions.
And how crazy would it be if we could realize that we Can be happy if we treat everybody that we meet, everybody that we deal with, as if it's us living another life.
And that doesn't mean no competition.
That doesn't mean no innovation.
That doesn't mean no competition as far as capitalism.
It doesn't mean, you know, we have to rely on some ridiculous commune system where nobody has any reward incentives.
I think if you do good work, as long as we have a real economy, if we have a real market, if we really do manufacture things and create things that have merit, if we really can figure that out, if that's possible.
I really don't think that the majority of Americans are like racist, homophobic pieces of shit.
But a point that Allison writes about a lot is in times of economic struggle, that's when you see harsher immigration laws come down.
That's when you see more homophobia.
That's when you see more violence because it's always this other, right?
Because in America, you're told you can do whatever you want.
If you want to be a millionaire or if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you can do it.
And then you don't do it, but you have some politician, some rich politician who has your fucking money.
You have him saying, like, well, we just have too many immigrants taking their jobs.
Or, like, it's the gays.
They're angering Jesus.
And then you start blaming these other people because you're like, it's not me.
Because, like, there are a lot of Republicans who are being fucked.
Just like we're being fucked.
Just like everyone, independents, whatever, are being fucked.
Because...
And the people who are actually doing the fucking are just like, well, don't look at my house.
Don't look at my mansion.
Don't look at my bank account.
Don't look at my fucking tax records.
It's fucking Jose over there.
And you look and it's just like friendly Mexican dude in a pickup truck.
Like, that guy's going for your job.
And you're like, well, fuck Jose.
Because it's also easier to go after the immigrants than it is to overthrow our broken system, right?
Like, if you tell someone that the election was rigged, Or that votes are being suppressed or that George Bush didn't win in 2000, they're like, I'm just going to blame Nader because that dude is fucking old and that seems easier.
You know what I mean?
It's easier to blame a Ron Paul.
It's easier to blame a Ralph Nader.
It's easier to blame an immigrant.
Than to be like, oh no, it's all the people with all the power and all the money and all the guns and the roadmaps to the wars.
But going back to where I totally agree with you is… You know, a lot of people think that, like, atheists are, like, these, like, weird, immoral, like, we're just, like, butt-fucking and worshiping the devil.
If you really love marriage and if you really are upset at someone making marriage less than it should be, why don't you attack those fucking drive-thru places in Vegas where you can get married by Elvis?
That seems ridiculous.
I mean, if you want to talk about not taking a commitment seriously, the fact that you could do it drunk.
But then you have a monogamous gay couple that's been together for 10 years and have a kid, and they can't get married, so if one of them fucking is dying, the other one can't see them in the hospital bed.
And it's something that is, by the way, a weakness.
And if you're a fucking man, you run around thinking you're some sort of a badass, and you can't understand that someone can have different desires than you, then you're a pussy, you're weak, you're confused, you're sad, or you're probably gay.
I would say if you had to go to Vegas and you had to look at a good line, I think I would say the Vegas line would be that he's probably had his dick sucked by a dude.
there are political issues that I can disagree with people on but like even though I disagree with them like I see where they're coming from where it's like okay torture you think that produces a good result and you want to protect people who may not be criminals got it like the war like you think you're protecting us you think that was like Iraq that attacked us like we can disagree and we can talk about facts and stuff like that but I get it but for someone to wake up every day and be like oh there are dudes fucking like well in And to make that their issue is crazy.
Well, their defense, though, with a lot of them, they were, look, the real problem with religion is that anybody telling you absolutely they know what God wants you to do is fucking crazy.
Anyone who tells you, anybody who wrote anything down, and that's not taken away from the idea that there's not some sort of a natural order to the universe, and maybe there's some sort of higher power or consciousness that is at the end of this whole crazy Yeah.
Ride that we're all on.
But when you decide that you definitely know that this shouldn't be happening, even though the people that are doing it are enjoying it, because it's some ancient thing that God wants to stop.
We have an education problem.
That's what that is.
That is an education problem.
That is a consciousness problem.
That is a problem with people that have not been raised to accept other people's happiness.
I think that most atheists are agnostics because like if we're going – if we're going to be technical and then I'll get back to – like if we're going to be technical, anyone who says they're 100 percent sure that there is a god or there isn't god is wrong.
So, as an agnostic, I'm like, alright, so I look for evidence, and I look for science, and until that happens, I'm just gonna live like there's no God or whatever.
But if right now, like, during the podcast, like, you know, something happened and God came down, I wouldn't be like, fuck, you ever read Sam Harris?
Sam Harris is a friend of mine, and Sam Harris is a brilliant guy, but Sam Harris doesn't know exactly how the universe works either.
But to say you're an atheist, when you see these guys who are these string theorists dudes, these guys who are working on trying to decipher the very matter that That constitutes the universe.
They're trying to figure out at the very heart of it.
They're finding these mathematical computations.
They're finding these mathematical patterns in nature.
We know that in the Fibonacci sequence, even the design of faces and sunflowers.
There's an actual formula, a numerical formula to all of this, and they're not exactly sure what that means.
It could mean that there's some sort of a spiritual or guiding energy or ethic at the end of the universe.
I think for a lot of people it actually works as a scaffolding and then Christianity and the idea of being a good person and being a good Christian and Christian values and And treating your brother as if you were yourself, that is in the Bible, man.
Well, this is what I was saying about the agnostic thing, though, is, so for them, cool, right?
Like, they're not hurting anyone.
If they don't hate the gays because of it or think of a fucking cell as a baby or whatever, fine.
But I think when you're kind of teetering, like, I've seen friends of mine And family members who have, and I've done this, who when I thought there was a God, I was less charitable.
Yeah, but there was also, but I would tell myself, I remember specifically like walking by people that maybe now would give money to, maybe I wouldn't, but I'd walk by someone and it'd be like, well, God will take care of it, right?
Or like overseas, like, well, God won't.
Let this happen, even though there have been so many wars and plagues and all this stuff.
And then once I was like, you know what?
There's probably not a God.
Let's just live like there's not one.
I actually took all those cliches about, you know, live every day like it's your last and stuff like that.
I started listening to them where I'm like, I'm just going to try to be a good person because this is probably it.
And if it's not, fucking bonus, right?
Like if there's a heaven and there's a God and I found out I was wrong, I'm not going to be like, fuck you, motherfucker, and like charge him, swing it.
I'm going to be like, awesome.
Because...
And don't get me wrong, like I... When I was on stage making fun of religion, literally on stage making fun of organized religion, I still believed in a God.
Like, I remember I consider myself agnostic, but my wife was the first atheist I ever met.
And so I was like, so you're agnostic?
And she goes, I'm an atheist.
And even though I was on stage criticizing religion...
And that's why I'm saying, like, if you, again, if you're a good person because you're religious or you're a good person and you're an atheist, like, great, do your thing.
But when it came to being agnostic, I would rather live like there is no God.
And I'm like, I'm just going to try to be a good person for the right reasons.
Not because I want to get fucking rewarded in heaven where I can see all my dead cats and eat pancakes or whatever the fuck people think heaven is.
And not because I'm scared to burn to hell.
I want people to be decent people to be decent fucking people.
Have you ever been at a party where you're hanging out with all your best friends and you're sitting by the pool, some music is playing, maybe you have a couple of drinks and everybody's having a good fucking time and everybody's being nice to each other.
You know what I mean?
It's like you love having a good party, right?
Well, life could be a fucking party, stupid.
It really can be.
You just got to be a nice person and surround yourself with other people.
That are trying to be a nice person as well.
Take responsibility for your own fucking actions.
Get your shit together.
Contribute your part so that everybody feels good about the interactions with you.
Give people more than you think they deserve just so they feel better about it.
And if you can do that, if you can figure out how to do that, you can have a good life.
Even in other arts, if you're a shitty musician, you can tell yourself that people don't get you and that you're trying to do something.
But if you get choked out, you have to tap.
If you're a bad comedian, again, you can blame the audience or whatever.
But when it's you who physically has put yourself in a position...
We're vulnerable to a submission.
Someone's locked it on.
Then you have to take your hand and say, I give up.
There's no talking out of that.
And what's so interesting to me, especially having a really liberal base, is sometimes, and this is when I get the most furious on Twitter, or when people are like, oh, you're a vegan, but you support human cockfighting.
You support this fucking blood sport.
You support MMA. And...
You know, what's so upsetting is the vegan argument is ridiculous.
Tell me if we're in a real fight, because if we're in a real fight, I'm going to hit you as hard as you're hitting me, and I'm going to not get the fuck out.
Fucking crazy using all their might right away, which a good guy never does.
A good guy will lock up to you like maybe 30% and then you start moving with each other and he's looking for advantages, but he's not going to do anything stupid.
And not only did him and the people my age and the people who were at my belt and the people who may at the time didn't know were going to be competing in my division, but they just instantly treated me like such a fucking family member.
I mean, Robert cornered me.
And I go, dude, I have like Marcelo's gi I'm like registered under.
And he goes, I don't care.
He's like, you're my fucking friend.
I'm going to corner you.
And he cornered me.
And...
What's so funny is if people walked by that school or those lefties on Twitter or not even lefties, just people who don't get MMA, who call it a blood sport, maybe if you walked by during a sparring session, you'd be like, wow, that looks fucked up and scary because dudes are like jumping on each other's backs and driving each other into the walls and shit.
But when you go in there, I'm like, there is more camaraderie there that I've experienced in comedy, that I've experienced in a lot of these liberal get-togethers.
And what's so ironic and so frustrating, and maybe this goes back to maybe this is what people need to do to treat people decently, is there are people of all fucking nationalities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, builds, and you fucking roll with someone for the first time.
If you've just met someone, you shake their hand, and you have like a killer role, like a back and forth, and like both of you almost submit, you like just escape and the bell rings, I'm hugging that dude like he's a fucking long lost relative.
What they're thinking is, in a perfect world, we shouldn't need violence.
And they are scared of people who are enthusiastic about violence.
They think it's dangerous.
And they're scared of people who actively train in something where you're, you know, what you're actively trying to do is figure out a way to harm someone.
Be a killer, right?
They're thinking from an evolved mindset, and I totally agree with it.
However, I'm stuck with this monkey body, okay?
I'm built like a fucking chimpanzee, and I have testosterone in my system.
A lot of it is dumb, but it's also necessary for competition.
And it's necessary to get better.
The thing is, you have to learn to get good at it.
And you have to learn to get good at it with your ego, and that's where jiu-jitsu comes along.
You develop a healthy...
Respect for competition.
Mark Maron was talking once about not being able to, when he was growing up, if he wanted his parents to instill anything in him that they did, is be able to enjoy competition.
Because he said he grew up, and if he was losing a game, he wanted to flip the board over.
Well, I was training with Keith Florian, with Kenny's brother, in Boston.
And we were talking about ego and the times where you don't want to tap and stuff like that.
And he was like, dude, if you're not tapping, you're not learning.
And, you know, I've heard lots of jujitsu guys talk about that, and I love that.
I love a culture where, like, you're encouraged to, like, take these fucking risks, and that you learn, you know, when I lost to the kid who won silver, and it was a really close match, and I lost and I was bummed out for a second and then I went over to Robert and I was like, what happened?
What could I have done?
And he told me and I went and fucking wrote it down.
This conservative pundit named Jonah Goldberg And Jonah Goldberg is sort of like the stereotypical fucking huge, out of shape, bully Republican, goes on every fucking news broadcast advocating that we just kill more brown people, but has never served.
Invade Afghanistan, invade all these brown-ish places.
People call him on his shit, but no one really calls him on his shit.
For example, he still has a career, even though Iraq and Afghanistan failed.
My whole thing is if you advocate a war that has killed hundreds of thousands of people, that has killed thousands of Americans, at the very least, you should have to, when it comes to the news, sit the next war out.
You know what I mean?
Like a fucking baseball player who fucked up.
Just sit it out, or at least if he's going to go on TV and talk about how we need to bomb Iran under his name, it should be like, Jonah Goldberg, dude who was wrong about Iraq.
You say he was wrong about Iraq, but they do Hollywood math on it, and they'll tell you that it was a success for democratic societies all over the world because we removed an evil dictator, and now they have a system in place that is far more superior.
Again, I was talking to my wife to Allison, and I was like, maybe he will, right?
And she's like...
Here was either situation.
Oh, so to finish, I wrote a whole piece for Wonkat about it and Huffington Post interviewed me.
And essentially what I said was, it can be regulated.
We'll do it for charity.
You have about 100 pounds on me.
I know how to fight, but you can wear headgear.
I won't wear any headgear.
It'll be time rounds, referee.
I'll give it to Palestinians.
You can buy like an Ayn Rand fuck doll or whatever you guys do with your money.
And it'll be great.
And I never was threatening or anything like that.
And of course it was...
Tongue in cheek in the sense that one of two things could happen.
He could be fucking crazy enough to do it, which I doubt it because, again, you look at all these war hawks and these are people who have never served in wars who are sending other kids to go die.
Right.
Or he's going to have to respond and just be exposed for being a fucking chicken shit, which is what he is.
I understand, but do you not understand that it's a glaring ego situation?
Of course it is.
You are putting yourself in this champion role, like you're going to step in, and you're putting so much attention on yourself with a statement like that, and it completely changes just your opinion of what you feel is wrong with his stances.
And it becomes a personal thing between a man and another man who lives a different way.
And it takes the attention away from the issue, and it puts the attention on you as some sort of fucking Kim Kardashian figure.
But again, to me and you, we see that and we're like, of course, like I said before, you're not going to fucking do it.
But I mean you look at some of these fucking crazy people.
You look at like the Moss story.
You look at a lot of these fucking like right-wing militia types.
Like they're looking for people to fucking give them permission to do it.
You look at the abortion clinics.
And of course I did not think I was going to be the fucking hero.
There was going to be a fight.
I was going to make this guy change all of his views.
All I wanted was finally someone just to be like, if you're going to use this violent rhetoric, just like if you're going to use this violent rhetoric in the Middle East, go fucking over there.
Go say it to one of their faces.
Go say it to someone who can actually defend themselves.
His career was a violent rhetoric, and that was just the one where I'm like, okay, I can say I volunteer to be the socialist in the tongue-in-cheek fashion.
People have to, not to that extent I'm saying, but people have to, if there are people in the world who keep espousing violent rhetoric that does have consequences, that does lead us into wars, that does get people hurt, I'm not saying go challenge people to fights or anything like that, but sometimes you do have to do something to draw more publicity than, like if I just tweeted him and I was like, hey man, that's fucked up rhetoric, or hey, I don't think we should have gone to Iraq.
It wouldn't have gotten as much of the attention as it did.
A little bit, but at the same time, it's like, I guess I just want an answer of what to do, because I don't like that people can go on publicly and make livings with rhetoric that gets people killed.
So it's like, sure, mine was a silly publicity stunt from a comedian, right?
You know, did I think Jonah Goldberg would be like, oh, you know, I'm going to open up a shelter for Arabs because, you know, that vegan showed me the way, but...
You acted like someone who introduced yourself into the equation, your own physical prowess into the equation of, listen, if you think you're bad, I'm going to represent socialists and I'm a vegan and I'm a lefty and I'm ready to fight you.
When you respond to one thing in particular, it better be warranted because people aren't going to take into account the history of someone's obsession for violence.
And it was just kind of like, let's just remind people that this guy who has such authority and who go on the news with such authority without people even asking follow-up questions, even being like, you said the same thing about Iraq.
Do you think Iraq was a successful?
Blah, blah, blah.
I mean, this was a guy who said they would be celebrating us in two years.
So, man, if you didn't like the Jonah Goldberg thing, prepare to be furious.
It's always such a wild adventure on Twitter after I do your show because I get half people who I'm either friends or they will be fans for life.
They're like, bro, I'm a jiu-jitsu guy and I'm really progressive and blah, blah, blah.
And then there's like, hey, vegan queer homo, I work for Blackwater and I'm going to shoot you because I love rape jokes.
And it's like, oh no.
So I'm about to get the lash.
Here's what I think.
If you talked to me five years ago, maybe even less, I wouldn't have...
Even thought about defending a heckler, especially because I have been heckled my entire career.
I'm like, I think the YouTube clip of me with the most hits is me berating, meanly, a guy and a girl heckler.
On my new CD, I had four dudes who heckled me, and it's a track.
I just attacked, attacked, attacked.
And when all I thought about, and when all I obsessed with, and when all I listened to was comedy...
That was always the most important thing to me, right?
It was the freedom of speech, which I still believe in.
It was no one censors a comedian.
You can make anything funny, which I also still believe.
And that was it.
No matter how offensive, whether it was the Dane Cook-Aurora joke, whether it was Tracy Morgan, the murdering the gay kid thing, it's just like, dude, comedy is comedy.
They're experimenting.
Maybe it wasn't funny, but whatever.
But just like in a political debate, You know, if you disagree with someone, you challenge them to a fight, and then you get yelled at.
If you disagree with someone, you should respond, right?
And I'm not talking about the girl.
I'm talking about me right now.
And then I'll talk about the girl, who I also...
Does not sound like she would be a lot of fun to hang out with.
And so ever since kind of doing more, reading more politics than comedy...
Getting involved in just different communities that weren't comedy, whether it's jiu-jitsu, whether it's politics, activism, whatever.
As much as comedy, I love the art so much, it wasn't this defend to the death thing as much because I saw that the world was bigger than comedy.
I think there are a lot of comics who think that this is it.
It's all about the comedy community and this is all we got.
Rape culture is the fact that Because rape is dealt with so lightly in this country, lots of women don't report it.
Lots of women don't report simple sexual assault.
Fucking dude comes up, grabs your tits at a club because she doesn't want to be called a slut.
She doesn't want to be called drunk.
She doesn't want to defend herself when she feels like she was assaulted, right?
And so to me in that moment, as much as I care about comedy, you know, when I started reading...
A lot of progressive blogs, when they talk about rape, there's something called a trigger warning.
In the beginning of the article, it says trigger warning.
And I never knew what that meant, but that means that some girls have been so fucking traumatized or guys have been so traumatized after being raped that they can't read about it.
They can't read about it.
They'll have fucking flashbacks, so you have to put this trigger warning.
On top.
And so to me, it's like, I don't know, man, if it comes down to, and there were feminists that I went on TV with, like feminist writers who are like demonized as these humorless cunts, who were fucking quoting Sarah Silverman, the Wanda Sykes rape bit, the Carlin rape bit, you know, there are definitely ways to do it.
But if there's a girl in an audience, even that girl who heckled, if she was fucking raped and even if Tosh is totally 100% kidding, which she was, and says, wouldn't it be funny if five guys rape you?
You know what?
I do think that that girl having a fucking flashback or any girl in that audience having a fucking rape flashback, I'm like...
It's not worth a bit.
And there's so much stuff with rape that you can talk about, that you can make funny.
And I think that all topics in comedy should be addressed.
And I think the best comedians are the ones that can address those really edgy topics.
But if it's going to be like a sloppily, it would be funny if you were raped.
But again, I didn't, with the military, there are tons of other comics who have dealt with hecklers who have done it Well, you didn't because someone wanted to kick your ass.
Someone ran up to the stage and wanted to kick your ass.
You realized you were in danger.
That's completely facetious to say that you didn't do it for no more reason.
And to say that this guy, that his idea, him saying, don't you think it would be funny if five guys raped her like now?
He's not supporting rape.
And if you are that sensitive, You do not belong in a comedy club.
If the word rape will send you into a fucking panic, I feel sad for you.
You are very unfortunate that this has happened to you.
Maybe a comedy club is not the best place for you.
Maybe you should go somewhere else where it is in a 100% uncensored ride through the mind and imagination of Daniel Tosh not to be interrupted by a moron.
And when that moron does interrupt with something completely non-ironic, Ridiculous.
Look, if that girl did write that in her blog, it would be a totally different blog.
By warranting and justifying this moronic opinion on someone Having an ad-lib to deal with a heckler, what you're doing is you're supporting the idea that the positive idea behind not raping someone is more important than a show.
It's more important than jokes.
It's more important that you never bring up the idea that rape can be funny.
But if rape can ever be funny, it can be funny when you know, A, someone is not being serious about it, and two, someone is talking about her rape isn't funny.
That automatically makes it funny.
If they're a heckler, if a heckler talks about rape not being that funny ever, and then the comic says, wouldn't it be funny if somebody raped her, you know he doesn't mean that.
His intent is not that a bunch of people should storm and rape, but that is the correct thing for him to say.
When you're dealing with a nightclub comedian and people are drinking alcohol, that would be funny.
When it first happened, I essentially retweeted the article and said something like, Well, that was fucking shitty.
Because that's how I felt.
I didn't care that much about it.
I was like, eh, it's another comic who's, you know, whatever.
When I started getting really upset and writing the angrier tweets and writing more and more about it… Is it when you listen to people who are reading the tweets and you're like, this is a good opportunity?
I just didn't understand why this was like our hill to die on.
Like, comics don't have fucking health insurance.
Like, comics have not really united around much.
And it was just so bizarre.
Like, people didn't rally around fucking Dane Cook the next week for the Aurora shooting.
You know what I mean?
Like, when he made jokes about that.
Like, there was no big...
It was just that...
People were just so...
The tweets I was getting were crazy.
I was watching these bloggers who have blogged about being rape survivors, retweeting these amateur comics and people like that who thought if they fucking...
Tweeted some rape survivor, fucking Daniel Tosh would be friends with them or let them open for them.
They were tweeting like, I hope you get raped and just like more fucking rape threats.
And if you've been through a certain thing in your life, if you've been threatened with rape or if you have been raped or if you've been assaulted or if you live in a culture where a lot of fucking girls are raped that you have to think about walking home by yourself and shit like that, maybe that shit's not as funny to you.
And that's okay.
Just like it's okay for him to say what he wants to say, it's okay for that girl to get offended.
It's okay for me not to think it's fucking funny.
It's okay for you to think it was the right thing to say.
I'm just saying that if I were given the choice, not in this toss situation because everything I wrote and – You said – dude, you criticized it and said that you sometimes are embarrassed of your gender.
I'm voicing my opinion that if I had the choice between there's a fucking rape survivor there who could get a triggered flashback or talk about rape in a different way because, again, I don't think it's fucking funny.
I've already burned the comedy bridges.
You might as well go all the way with it.
I don't think it's funny to...
Personally, I think it's easy and I think it's a cop-out to joke about people who are already shit on.
To me, I don't think it's edgy.
I don't think you can compare rape jokes to fucking prior.
Because if someone gets murdered, Someone can say, you shouldn't have been in there.
You shouldn't have been in that neighborhood.
And what if the person who knows the person who's been murdered who had to work in a bad place to support their family hears you say that?
It's the same fucking subject.
When you're joking around on stage, especially in a situation where Tosh did, where it's a complete ad lib, for you to analyze it in that way and come up with he's contributing to rape culture is preposterous.
I still stand by it because I just don't give a shit Again, in comparison, and this isn't a heckler issue for me anymore.
I don't like people who heckle, right?
I hate it.
I hate it.
And I don't think that Daniel Tosh wanted that girl to get raped, right?
But I just don't give a shit about comedy enough that if I'm on stage and I say something that could cause someone in the audience or multiple people in the audience because I'm not doing it in a way that's attacking, I don't know, like a higher – like no one is sitting around being like, you know who's had it too good for too long?
Rape victims.
Like I wish someone would fucking talk about them.
Like I just think – There are smarter ways to fucking do it, and I'm not a fan of it.
We don't fucking live in a world where women are afraid to go to the police to report a fucking chimp incident because they're going to be like, well, did you used to fuck the chimp?
Were you drinking when you were getting together with the chimp?
And if it comes down to a fucking dude who was not censored, who still has his number one show on Comedy Central, who still plays at the club, no one...
Listen, man, if you say that he's contributing to rape culture by saying that with his mouth, by joking around in a way that absolutely we all know he wasn't serious, five guys are just going to jump out and rape better.
Yeah, that would be funny.
That's not what he's saying.
He's making a joke.
And you're saying that contributes to rape culture.
So what you're saying is his words should be censored because they contribute to rape.
This idea that he is somehow or another contributing to that by even mentioning the word rape.
You can't stop someone from being a fucking idiot.
And by not saying a joke about a subject doesn't keep other morons from using that subject whenever they freely want.
It's just it comes up at any time they're allowed to have their reactions and start saying, oh, I'm going to fucking rape you, bitch.
That doesn't mean you should never talk about rape.
And so for you to say that in that moment he shouldn't bring it up because he's contributing to a bunch of fucking apes yelling rape at women on Twitter or Facebook or whatever, they're completely unrelated.
No, those dudes would not have done it if there wasn't a fucking blog written by some one woman who all of a sudden everybody and you had to comment on.
And then it becomes a part of the national discourse.
A diarrhea of the mouth blog about it where she didn't take any personal accountability for interrupting a show with a fucking rabid stand-up comedian in mid-stride in his fucking prime on stage in Hollywood on a Friday night or a Saturday night, whatever the fuck it was.
Jamie, I think if anything makes people say stupid shit like I hope you get raped, it's when people stand up for someone who says something like rape should never be talked about.
They should galvanize around putting a picture of her and say, see this bitch?
She doesn't understand humor.
She can't take a joke.
So she'd be a photo of her with a red line across her face until you can come in and explain to us that you're sorry, that you didn't understand how he was joking around about how nothing can be funny about rape, and you just...
Blurted it out because you're a self-righteous dummy who thinks that you should be able to espouse your politically correct opinions at any fucking time they're warranted in your silly little fucking dumb mind, including hijacking a fucking comedy club, you're not capable of handling a comedy club.
You shouldn't be there.
Just like if your ears hurt when things are loud, you shouldn't go to a fucking rock club.
If you're scared of violence, you shouldn't sit front row at a UFC fight.
It's all the same.
It's not like we should nerf the world to make it safe for everybody.
If you don't enjoy someone talking about controversial shit, you certainly shouldn't go to an adult nightclub that's doing stand-up comedy.
Or a guy like Daniel fucking Tosh, who has one of the most edgy shows on TV, period, is doing his stand-up.
And he makes a joke because you heckle.
And that joke happens about what you heckled about.
You can't feel like you're a victim.
Because you're not a victim.
You're a dummy who doesn't belong in a comedy club.
But again, like, you thought it was, you know, and we were talking about how good it is when people stand up and protest these fucking politicians and stuff.
She's not telling the truth because she's omitting a very important part of why he said that to her and she's doing that to make her point make more sense.
She omitted the fact that he was saying, oh yeah, rape is real funny.
Then don't talk about it if you don't know the full story.
So Liz Winstead interjected, or rather edited, the actual reality of the conversation and cut out the part where he was detailing what is not funny about rape to make it seem like what he did was more insensitive.
If she said, I guarantee you, if someone said rape and then, you know, he said, you know, a woman said actually rape was never funny, and he said, well, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her right now?
Guess what?
That's still funny.
You know why?
Because he's not being serious.
Okay?
If she's self-righteously yelling out, actually, rape is never funny, it's right for him again to say, wouldn't it be funny if she got raped by five people?
Okay?
He's joking.
He's not being fucking serious.
Just like when you see a guy in a movie and he's shooting at aliens, he's not really in an alien war.
Okay?
It's fucking entertainment.
And what she did by omitting that very particular part is make it more heinous, and yet I... I still agree with him.
And I disagree with her.
And her saying that it's not a joke is ridiculous.
And I have a Liz Winstead story from when I was an open-miker that I'd like to share with you.
This is where it gets really interesting.
When I was an open-miker, and I was not that good a comedian, I was fucking two or three times on stage, and Liz Winstead already had been on HBO, and she was hosting an open-mic night.
And I'm not trying to hold her to the fire for this, okay?
But this is something that happened.
It happened more than 20 years ago.
She's on stage.
She had her friend, Janine Duttulio, who was a very funny comic from Boston.
They're all palling around backstage, this whole girls club.
And they were having a great time.
And she said, she got on stage and she said, I'm hosting open mic night.
And when I'm here hosting open mic night, I've got rules.
Here's the rules, okay?
No jokes about this.
No jokes about that.
No jokes about tits.
No sexism.
She says no sexism.
She says no gay jokes.
She has a list she's reading.
And she decides that she's going to interrupt the stand-up comedians while they're on stage and stop them from performing their jokes.
And interrupt them because she decides that a joke is racist.
She decides that a joke is sexist.
So there's a door next to the stage.
So the comedians are on stage.
And she's getting on stage and interrupting individual performance.
He was a guy who would struggle to keep it together on stage every time.
And he was a very gifted comic writer.
But a very uncomfortable performer.
He had a really hard time performing.
So he goes on stage, and he has this joke.
Where he says something about, I always make sure I open up the car door for my hooker.
And Liz Winstead interrupts.
Stop!
Sexism!
And he says, and don't think he doesn't appreciate it, which is his punchline.
Okay?
So she's standing on stage right after he says that, and she stopped him.
And he's so awkward, he's got his eyes closed during his fucking thing.
I mean, it's just so fucking annoying.
It's driving me crazy.
So, I get on stage.
And I'm in the middle of something, and she comes out and says, Sexism!
Stop!
Stop!
And I said, Liz, don't you get enough fucking attention?
I go, you go on stage every night, you have this HBO special, you're a national headliner, and yet you can't let an open-miker have five minutes to try to say whatever the fuck they want to say.
You have to come on and interrupt.
And so she says to me...
You know, I know the people who own this club.
I'll just let you know right now.
This is 100% real.
And I said, that's it, really?
I go, that's what you're telling me?
You're a professional fucking comedian.
And I have a very good point about you needing attention and interrupting sets.
And you tell me that you know the people who book this club, insinuating that you can stop me from working here.
I go, fucking really?
I go, I'm done.
And so I walked off the stage.
I put the microphone down and I walked off the stage.
And I'll never forget that.
And so listening to that lady, just understand and judge that.
Because that's a true thing that happened to a...
Oh, of course it does.
But that's a true thing that happened to a open mic comic by a professional headliner comedian.
This is the point where sexism can bounce the other way.
And it becomes nonsense.
It becomes you enforcing your ideology on other people And you, it's not about being fair and right and running a just happy society where people are allowed creative differences.
No, it's about you enforcing your own ego and bullshit on other people.
And then the club owner issued a statement, and I find this very interesting, especially when talking about it from a comics lens, and he said that Daniel Tash got on stage and said, what would you guys like to talk about?
Now that opens up a conversation with your audience.
Wasn't it like the equivalent of if there was one black guy in the room and he had said, you know, wouldn't it be funny if everybody just lynched that guy right now?
Because it's not so much a joke as it is an attack on that person because he was obviously angry at that person.
It's the fact that we live in a culture where women who have been raped aren't allowed to, the way we're saying it, go to comedy clubs because they might get offended.
And I'm saying that I think that that sort of sucks for them considering they were fucking raped and now they have to watch where they go.
You're going to have to take away every single thing that people have been victimized from and take it out of the vocabulary and the vernacular of comedy then.
Because then everything, like I've been beat up before.
You saying that rape is worse than murder is so fucking crazy because rape is horrible for the person that gets raped.
Murder is horrible for the person who dies and everyone who loves them too who will never see them again because they don't exist because someone stopped their fucking life.
That's worse.
They're both terrible, but to say that one, rape is worse because you remember it is crazy because there's therapy.
People get on ecstasy.
They do MDMA and have these post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Disorder clinics where they work with people with psychedelic drugs and help them recover from things by having spiritual experiences.
You can recover from rape.
It's a terrible, terrible thing.
I am not condoning it or endorsing it in any way, shape, or form, but I think murder is worse.
You would if you were telling a joke about murder.
Someone said, talk about murder!
And you go, nothing's funny about murder.
Oh, what's funny about murder?
The bullet killing someone?
An arrow?
A machete?
And someone goes, actually, murder's never funny!
And you go, wouldn't it be funny if somebody just murdered him?
But again, man, there's not this fucking history.
Where would you stand on that?
If somebody wrote a blog and the blog was written by a fat man, a dumb man that you don't want his love and he believes in the Confederate flag, and what if he wrote a blog about that?
I want the guy who murdered people killed immediately, removed from society.
I want the guy who raped someone.
I want to find out what the fuck went wrong that he dehumanized people to the point where his sexual needs or power needs or whatever the fuck like that supersedes his need to complement his...
Fellow humans, to be a part of humanity and culture.
What went wrong with this guy?
I want to find out if he was raped by his parents.
And I'm saying you know that they're both just jokes.
That a guy joking around about, wouldn't it be funny if that guy got murdered, is the same as someone saying, wouldn't it be funny if that guy got raped?
He doesn't really mean that.
He's making a joke to move a comedy show along.
So we're all introducing it.
And Liz Winstead, fucking hypocrite bullshit, to her to say on stage that it's not even a joke.
Of course it's a joke.
It's a direct joke.
Here's the joke.
Ready?
Set up.
Actually, rape is never funny.
Punchline, wouldn't it be funny if she just got raped by five guys?
That's it.
That's a joke.
To say that that's not a joke is silly.
It's not saying we're endorsing rape.
It's not saying people should be allowed to say horrible things to people.
It's you're not dealing with the context of the situation where someone was reacting to someone saying something dumb.
But that also means when someone who is a non-rapist and non-violent like Daniel Tosh is at a comedy club and he makes a joke about rape, he shouldn't be fucking chastised by these dummies on the air.
This nonsense that you're hearing from Liz Winstead, it's just so silly.
It's silly.
You shouldn't rape people.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
You also should shut your fucking mouth at a comedy club.
What you could have really said was, rape, I mean, this is what I said when I would, I would say you should think what I think, but what I, my point of view was that, yeah, rape isn't funny, but that was funny because he didn't rape anybody.
It's not a rape.
It's a word.
Words came out of his mouth describing a ridiculous fictional scenario.
I mean, would it be worse if he said, wouldn't it be funny if gargoyles came down and ate her asshole and killed her?
I found your opinion to be a little self-involved, and I felt like there's a certain thing that some people do When they get on Twitter where they say things because they know that they're going to get a bunch of people agreeing with them.
You're communicating with people who already love you.
When you're saying things that you want people who already love you and you know how they feel about things like that, when you start saying shit like it's supporting rape culture, you know who you're talking to.
I'm shitty at business, but if you thought that I thought this was going to work out, this was going to be a lot of fucking fun to deal with on Joe's podcast, I know who follows me on Twitter.
I know who's more vocal.
I knew that I was going to get...
Shit for this.
I wasn't, like, ecstatic about it, but that doesn't mean that the only reason I'm not going to defend something that I believe in is because I don't want to piss off my friends.
Even though we disagree, I think you're a great guy.
We can all have our differences of opinions on things.
I know I got a little aggressive with you here and held you to the fire, but in no way is it that I disrespect you or don't like you or like hanging out with you or talking to you.
It's a tricky situation and it's a very passionate one to me.
What Liz Winstead did when I was an open-miker was fucking terrible.
Brian Coyne, I got your back, son.
20-plus years later, holla at your boy if you're still alive.
Wow, that got dark.
Folks, tomorrow night, or tomorrow day, Andrew motherfucking Dice Clay, Thursday, Everlast, what?
Shit's getting crazy here at the Ice House, and of course, Friday night, we will have the Ice House Chronicles, which, just listen to the lineup we just said, Greg Fitzsimmons, Dom Irera, Joey Diaz, Brian Redband.