July 4, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:12:48
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ladies and gentlemen, this is an unprecedented occurrence here. | ||
| Josh Barnett was on his way and not only did he run into ridiculous traffic, but Josh is so gangster he drives a 1969 automobile around and unfortunately got a flat tire. | ||
| You drove that bitch all the way up. | ||
| Is it working? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You drove that bitch all the way up from Orange County? | ||
| You do that on a regular basis? | ||
| Yeah, I bought the thing to be a daily driver, you know, and I got kind of tired of how I mean, I don't drive anything passionless, but I just want to drive an old car. | ||
| I like the simplicity of it. | ||
| I like the noise. | ||
| I like the feel of it. | ||
| Plus, it's not anything super special. | ||
| It doesn't have a bunch of fancy, modded-out brakes. | ||
| It's all pretty much old-school technology. | ||
| I know exactly what I'm dealing with. | ||
| Stuff brakes, I can fix it. | ||
| Not a problem. | ||
| It doesn't bother you that it takes a long time for those things to slow down when you're trying to hit the brakes? | ||
| You've got to account for that. | ||
| This is true. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm used to driving old cars all my life, and I've driven a lot worse than this. | ||
| And I do have a rear disc conversion kit, so it'll be four-wheel disc brakes. | ||
| It's still going to take way longer to stop than, say, my Challenger. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm okay with that. | ||
| Yeah, once you drive a modern version of a muscle car, you're like, oh, why can't you just do this with a better interior? | ||
| Why can't you do this with, like, an old-school interior? | ||
| Like, make it like that. | ||
| I like a car that can start. | ||
| Like, when you want to start it, it starts. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| My cutlass turns right over. | ||
| Really? | ||
| every single time. | ||
| Just, I mean, you're going to go, da-da-da-da-da, Just goes. | ||
| Just super, super clean. | ||
| So it runs great. | ||
| It's 100% reliable. | ||
| It is 100% reliable, and I'm putting a... | ||
| Overdrive training in it. | ||
| I'm doing things here, things there. | ||
| And it'll be... | ||
| I just want basically a high 14-second quarter-mile car that you can drive everywhere and never... | ||
| Yeah, see I can't leave enough alone. | ||
| It's got a peg leg in it right now, so I gotta put a posi unit in it. | ||
| That just has to happen. | ||
| You're like the quintessential boy turned man, metal music, cage fighting, muscle cars. | ||
| It's all of the quintessential manly type shit. | ||
| If somebody ever asked me, so what are you really good at? | ||
| Doing manly shit and making manly faces while I do manly shit. | ||
| I can scowl, I can look inquisitive, and I can stare out from the distance, and I can hold a cigar in my mouth, and I can put grease in the right places. | ||
| You've got a whole manly repertoire. | ||
| Which is good because it offsets all the times that I'm wearing panties. | ||
| It offsets the society, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| The society has a distinct lack of manliness going on. | ||
| It does. | ||
| The boobs are not just on the women anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| There's a lot of... | ||
| Men are giving in to what women like because if you don't, you get labeled. | ||
| If you like all the shit that you like, you get labeled. | ||
| You're a chauvinist. | ||
| You're a pig. | ||
| There's something wrong with you. | ||
| You're a meathead. | ||
| You're a metalhead. | ||
| You get labeled as being someone undesirable or slightly immature. | ||
| I love the fact that... | ||
| I blame skinny jeans for all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, what the fuck is that? | |
| Skinny jeans are ridiculous. | ||
| If you can't sprawl in your pants, then you shouldn't be wearing them. | ||
| If you couldn't throw at least a body kick in your pants, you shouldn't be wearing them. | ||
| You shouldn't be wearing something that you have to struggle to get out of or in. | ||
| That shit's ridiculous. | ||
| See, maybe those Chuck Norris karate pants, the karate denims with the gusset crotch will come back in. | ||
| Dude, they should. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| You can roundhouse anybody in the face, no problem. | ||
| We need to get a true religion version of the Chuck Norris jeans. | ||
| They need to combine forces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The ultimate club pants that you can throw high kicks with. | |
| The ultimate ninja douchebagger. | ||
| Oh, could you imagine just the commercials of you guys throwing roundhouse kicks? | ||
| With their pointy fucking slip-on shoes and their fucking heavily monogrammed glittery shirts. | ||
| Bro! | ||
| Throwing karate roundhouse kicks. | ||
| But as far as labels, I... I've been labeled all my life. | ||
| I was a nerd and a dork and I was an outcast kid, you know, and I liked weird shit like foreign films and gore movies and anime and comic books and would go to the racetrack with my family and classic cars and just all kinds of weird, just fucked up shit where, you know, I'm captain of the football team, but... | ||
| Nobody else knows what the fuck, what tip I'm on. | ||
| They're just going, dude, you're a weirdo. | ||
| But is this, were you always attracted to being into shit that was like away from the crowd, or is that just the stuff that you liked? | ||
| Both. | ||
| Both. | ||
| I mean, I grew up in that weird era where cable came about, and so they would fill the airways full of whatever cheap shit they could get, and that ended up being a lot of weird shit. | ||
| A lot of weird shit from Japan, from everywhere, and then I had a fixation with horror movies as a kid, and that went other places. | ||
| All of a sudden it's like, Friday the 13th is cool, but I didn't really get to see that head get crushed, so where could I pick that up at? | ||
| What movies got that in it? | ||
| Faces of Death, did you get into all that? | ||
| Actually, I was more into the Italian Fulci zombie movies and stuff, where they're horrible, and the dubbing is the worst ever, but people are vomiting out their insides. | ||
| You know, vaginas start talking and eating things, whatever. | ||
| If that's a movie, you should probably see it. | ||
| Wasn't there, there was a whole series in like, I guess it was like the 60s and the 70s, of just what they were called gore movies, where movies were unbelievably gory. | ||
| Like, I remember I picked up a magazine about it once. | ||
| It just, you know, it was one of those, just looking through random magazines, like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Like, Fangoria, and it was all about one different type of gore film that this one dude used to make. | ||
| Oh, that Herschel Gordon Lewis stuff, like the 10,000 Maniacs. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's it. | ||
| And the Wizard of Gore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so he came out, they were making like these... | ||
| I think they were X-rated at the time. | ||
| They weren't hardcore, but these exploitation films at one point. | ||
| And then it was like, that wasn't enough, so they created this movie. | ||
| They showed people getting their tongues cut off. | ||
| I mean, they're really cheesy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So bad. | ||
| Still disturbing. | ||
| But back then, it really fucked people's minds up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was their new thing. | ||
| All of a sudden, the audience just flipped out about it, and they had to get more of it. | ||
| Yeah, I remember seeing that as a little kid, going, who the fuck wants to watch this? | ||
| Like, this is just disturbing. | ||
| Like, I understand a good zombie movie, a good vampire movie, you know, something fun, but who the fuck wants to watch people just get chopped up like this? | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of people. | |
| You know, with the, with, you've got the whole, what was that, Eli Roth thing, the torture film that they had. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which I can't remember. | ||
| They've done two of them, I think, where the travelers end up in, like, Romania, and then they get lured into some place by a hot bitch. | ||
| Hostile. | ||
| Hostile. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I only saw the first one of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They got me once. | |
| Right. | ||
| And then, of course, even the rich people paid and tortured. | ||
| But honestly, really, it's all the women's fault. | ||
| The chicks lured them in, those little bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Vagina. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn. | |
| Ruins lives. | ||
| Ruins lives. | ||
| It certainly can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what? | ||
| You go after a piece of strange, and you get a fucking, you know... | ||
| Splinter is shoved into your eye. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| Yeah, and there's no protection for that. | ||
| Like, they'll make a condom for that one. | ||
| Now, you've fought all over the world, right? | ||
| I mean, have you ever fought in Russia? | ||
| I have never fought in Russia. | ||
| You ever hear Heath Haring's description of going to the hospital in Russia? | ||
| He said it looked like Dawn of the Dead. | ||
| Yeah, he said there was, like, bodies laying out there, and they're just stitching people up in front of you, and you're like, what the fuck is going on, man? | ||
| Bodies, like, laying on wheels the whole way. | ||
| Like vodka, probably, for antiseptic. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was during the dark age when the Soviet Union collapsed. | ||
| So I think times were really fucking hard there for a long time. | ||
| I'm sure there's still some of that to be found over in Russia because it's such a difference in class at this point. | ||
| There's like the uber rich and then there's like not really a middle class to my understanding. | ||
| Well that's why a movie like Hostile works because you know you look at like these pretty girls and you're like if they were really cold hearted killers from Russia they could sneak you in Pull your butt cheeks apart until you die. | ||
| I wonder if there really are that, people that are willing to pay people to go grab someone... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, think of it this way. | |
| Think about all the perverted shit that we think about, right? | ||
| And then we go look up and watch on the internet while we're masturbating. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| Speak for yourself. | ||
| Alright, well, yeah. | ||
| Some of us are easily amused. | ||
| But the thing being is that you can think of all kinds of fucked up weird fetish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And there is at least a handful of people out there that are going to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anything you can imagine, someone's doing. | ||
| I just couldn't imagine someone being able to organize a place where you could actually go to torture people. | ||
| I feel like somebody is going to tell, this is going to fall apart. | ||
| I don't put anything past humanity to do as the most fucked up thing and the most beautiful thing. | ||
| Have you ever seen the Bohemian Grove footage? | ||
| Do you know anything about Bohemian Grove? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that a bunch of hippies? | |
| No, just the opposite. | ||
| A bunch of banker type dudes and dignitaries from foreign countries and like skull and bones type dudes. | ||
| They get together and who knows what the fuck is really going on, but they have this giant Molech, the Owl God, and they all dress up in robes. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I mean, it's been proven that this secret society- It sounds like LARPing. | ||
| LARPing? | ||
| What's LARPing? | ||
| Life-action role-playing? | ||
| Oh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is! | |
| It is like that! | ||
| We're all running around, woo! | ||
| These guys that are in Skull and Bones, there's a lot of weird, silly, ritualistic shit that they're doing. | ||
| And apparently, there literally are people to this day, I don't know, Alex Jones broke into it, it was over a decade ago, and filmed it. | ||
| These fucking people, they're burning an effigy. | ||
| They have, like, sticks wrapped up and they're burning it for the sacrifice of the Owl God. | ||
| I mean, these are like millionaires. | ||
| Owl God, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ridiculous. | |
| Yeah, Molek. | ||
| They couldn't have chose something better than that? | ||
| Molek's a bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
| Is he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Apparently. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I've never been fucked up by an owl. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| Owls are bad motherfuckers, dude. | ||
| They're scary. | ||
| Why not a grizzly bear? | ||
| That would definitely be scarier than an owl. | ||
| That would totally be scary. | ||
| It makes even a gnarlier noise. | ||
| Owls don't sound scary. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it'd take a long time for an owl to kill you, and you probably would win. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you had to go toe-to-toe with an owl... | ||
| I put my money on myself. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| All you need to do is grab ahold of his neck. | ||
| What kind of defense does an owl have? | ||
| Not even... | ||
| It could... | ||
| Pull flesh out, whatever. | ||
| We're talking about life and death. | ||
| Good killing. | ||
| I'm going to kill that. | ||
| But even a small brown bear, or a black bear. | ||
| Oh, he'd fuck you up, man. | ||
| Black bears are scared of you, so you don't have to worry about them as much. | ||
| But, you know, if you wanted to. | ||
| A fucking cat, man. | ||
| A 30-pound cat is scary as shit. | ||
| I do have a desire. | ||
| I don't think I'll ever make it happen. | ||
| To have, like, a... | ||
| Cougar-sized cat, just like my pet. | ||
| And I don't mean like pet, like I want to walk it around on a leash. | ||
| No, I just want someone to break into my house while I'm gone. | ||
| So, you know, the variation being, oh, you got your dogs there, the robber breaks in or whatever, and the dog goes, and they run away. | ||
| Well, the cat, the driver breaks in, just keeps stealing shit, right? | ||
| And he's like, unhooking your TV and all of this, and all of a sudden just, wow! | ||
| And you hear that roar from a puma, and it's on his neck, just murdering him. | ||
| So you come home, and you're like, oh, I see you had someone to play with while I was gone. | ||
| They say that if you see a mountain lion first, that it's very likely that he's not going to attack you, if you see him first. | ||
| I can believe that. | ||
| But if he sees you first, he might not be able to resist it. | ||
| You know, if he knows, you don't know what the fuck is happening. | ||
| That rush of just creeping up on you and just jacking you. | ||
| Bushwhacking you. | ||
| Must be so fun. | ||
| I mean, that's what they love. | ||
| So what they should do is they should get mountain lions to be the ones to spread the gospel of Jesus around because then nobody would know that they were around. | ||
| They could sneak up on you and like, hey, hey, you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior? | ||
| You're like, fuck, where'd you come from? | ||
| They would do it a little differently, though. | ||
| They would introduce you to them immediately. | ||
| At least if you get killed by a cat, though, they kill you. | ||
| Bears just start eating. | ||
| They just hold you down and start eating you. | ||
| That's a lot more of a pain in the ass. | ||
| You hear about that guy in Africa, a student? | ||
| He got eaten by a bear? | ||
| Fucked up by chimpanzees. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| They dragged him a mile. | ||
| Dragged him a mile. | ||
| Beat the fucking shit out of him. | ||
| Dragged him under a fence and then dragged him like a mile. | ||
| Can we blame Kubrick for that? | ||
| Well, these chimps were all problem chimps. | ||
| They were all chimps that had been in zoos and in captivity. | ||
| They were trying to reintroduce them for a while. | ||
| What about that song by ACDC? Problem Chimps? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that a song? | ||
| It should be. | ||
| Somebody should have a Problem Chimps song. | ||
| But they're not even wild chimps. | ||
| These are chimps that They're trying to reintroduce the wild, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Like zoo chimps, circus chimps. | ||
| So they're like chimps that have needed therapy, and then these chimps... | ||
| Sure. | ||
| They found a guy who beat the fuck out of them. | ||
| Well, a lot of those chimps, first of all, I think they get mental illness. | ||
| If you're naturally supposed to be in a wild situation where all your instincts are tuned into protecting yourself, looking around, making sure that nothing's sneaking up on you, and yet you live in front of a giant glass wall, Where every day these weird pink monkeys are staring at you, your senses are going off, and you don't know what the fuck to do. | ||
| It just becomes normal, and you get used to it, but every day you probably go crazy. | ||
| They're probably crazy. | ||
| It's a completely unnatural environment. | ||
| Because they have the higher brain capacity to logically work out what's going on, where they're at, how this whole deal works. | ||
| And how many of them are abused? | ||
| I think a lot. | ||
| I think a lot of them get abused. | ||
| You know the scenario that took place in that Planet of the Apes movie, the most recent one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't watch it. | |
| One guy was an asshole spraying the chimps with a hose. | ||
| I'm sure that happens. | ||
| I'm sure they get abused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course it happens. | |
| And I'm sure they're assholes too. | ||
| I'm sure they do cunty things and you want to fucking spray the chimp with a hose. | ||
| I wouldn't doubt that for a second. | ||
| Have you seen them raping frogs? | ||
| Yeah, it's hilarious. | ||
| Well, fuck a frog. | ||
| Well, they do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But who throws the frog in there at some point? | |
| Watch this monkey rip this frog. | ||
| I wonder if it was just a natural occurrence. | ||
| The frog just fucked up and wound up there. | ||
| But a lot of them know they have like a thing where you can't climb out. | ||
| Yeah, so I think there's, you know, some like 19-year-old zookeeper dipshit. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| People and animals. | ||
| What a strange combination. | ||
| It's going to be real weird if we find out there's something much smarter than us. | ||
| Because we're going to have to figure out how to convince it to not put us in a zoo. | ||
| Think about the way we treat all this shit that's just barely a little less smart than us. | ||
| I don't think that they would have to be convinced. | ||
| I think we'd do it to ourselves anyways. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Reality television. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The idea of sticking us behind a cage and letting us act like the biggest assholes we could possibly think of, generally in New Jersey, then there you go. | ||
| It's a ratings wonder. | ||
| Yeah, Housewives. | ||
| That show is like a human zoo in a lot of ways. | ||
| That's part of the appeal, is that you don't know anybody like that. | ||
| You're not introducing anybody like those idiots into your life. | ||
| But yet you can watch them, you know, like the men posturing with each other. | ||
| I'm going to call him Josephine. | ||
| He's a fucking girl, that one. | ||
| You're like, whoa, do you hear yourself? | ||
| This is an actual, you're a grown man. | ||
| Josephine, that's a pretty complex word for an idiot. | ||
| You're calling another, well, really common actually. | ||
| It's common in Jersey. | ||
| It's my grandmother's name. | ||
| Josephine? | ||
| Yeah, it's an Italian woman's name. | ||
| It's very common. | ||
| But the guy was Joe, so he's calling him Josephine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me and you go, fuck him, he's a little girl, I'm calling him a girl's name. | |
| And you're like, what kind of asshole? | ||
| Would you ever let that guy in your house? | ||
| Would you ever hang out with him? | ||
| If anybody like that was talking in your house, you would immediately start mocking them. | ||
| And you would go, you gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I'd probably marry him. | ||
| That's your type? | ||
| Oh, I love it. | ||
| Oh, oiled up, spiky hair, and lots of big earrings. | ||
| Steroids. | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| Juiced up. | ||
| The big hoop earrings, those are very important. | ||
| There's something about the daring dual hoop. | ||
| DJ on the side. | ||
| How did the stretch thing start happening? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know when the plug thing started happening. | ||
| I know like there were the piercing kids were into that and it was like a certain kind of A certain kind of scene wanted to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then, like, hipsters started doing it, like indie kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And little art kids. | ||
| And then it started to grow, grow, grow, and then... | ||
| Well, and, you know, at some point, okay, let's say you don't want a fucking earring anymore, you don't have to wear an earring, but if you just fucking mangled your ear into some weird, grown-out disc, like, once you get over that... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I suppose they loop it over the rest of your ear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do they cut it back? | |
| They cut it back and stitch it up? | ||
| I've heard someone say that they can do whatever. | ||
| I'm like, well, who wants to go through all of that? | ||
| That's a pain in the ass. | ||
| And what if he gets deaf? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your ear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's two things that have always troubled me in our culture. | ||
| How did that get that far? | ||
| Because I understand... | ||
| You know, when other cultures have been doing things for thousands of years and the Thai stick fucking rocks through their face and shit. | ||
| You're living in a jungle and, I mean, you're not even trying to be about modernization. | ||
| You're just living your life. | ||
| But in this country, there's that, there's the ear thing, and then there's the fucking saggy pants thing. | ||
| The saggy pants thing kills me more than the other thing. | ||
| The saggy pants thing is... | ||
| I can't believe... | ||
| If you came up to me in the 1980s and said, do you think saggy pants would still be around in 2012? | ||
| I would say, no, fuck it out of here. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| I can't believe it's here now. | ||
| I'm like, trust me. | ||
| It's not going to last. | ||
| They don't even know what it's from. | ||
| It's from prison. | ||
| When the guys are in prison, they've got no belts because they don't want to commit suicide. | ||
| So everyone's sagging their pants. | ||
| So when they get out, they're used to doing that. | ||
| It's like an ex-con thing. | ||
| There's nothing cool about it. | ||
| Well, somehow or another, it became a rock star thing. | ||
| You meet guys that are in bands, and they're sagging their pants. | ||
| They have their pants buckled up over their dick. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Are you a gangster? | ||
| They've got basketball shorts underneath the pants. | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That is a weird look. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| And then there's kids with the skinny jeans, the practical jeggings, and they're sagging. | ||
| There's like a little space back there. | ||
| This is a weird urge to pants those guys and headbutt them. | ||
| When you see a dude with the pants like really just below their dick. | ||
| You're like, this is just, you're crazy. | ||
| You're walking around. | ||
| Start sprinting and watch them fall over themselves. | ||
| You're walking around amongst people and you're basically... | ||
| You look like a slob. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're basically handcuffing yourself and you're allowing people to close the handcuffs. | ||
| Like you got this little thing on. | ||
| Someone just pants you and push you over. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| This is the dumbest thing you can be doing. | ||
| It's retarded. | ||
| What kind of a man? | ||
| What does that say about our society? | ||
| That people, for whatever reason, this is how they choose to leave their house. | ||
| They want to buckle their pants above their cock and have their underwear hang above it. | ||
| What? | ||
| No, that's what you do? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| I'm sagging. | ||
| Like, that doesn't even... | ||
| That's got to be some sort of a... | ||
| It's an aberration. | ||
| Like, some sort of a thing that... | ||
| You'd think so, but it just continues to exist and perpetrate and just still continue to be... | ||
| I see people like that all the time. | ||
| I see guys where they buy the jeans, sag them so much, and then they wear the long shirt that it looks like your legs are two feet long. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I'm not here to talk about fashion for the most part in terms of like, well, I didn't mean that in general. | ||
| Like, we want to talk about fashion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We can go on. | |
| He's not a good politician. | ||
| I'm not here to talk about fashion. | ||
| I'm here to get down to brass tacks. | ||
| My opponent wants to talk about fashion. | ||
| How he wants to tax you for skinny jeans. | ||
| Yeah, tax you for being a douchebag. | ||
| Is your belt buckle below your dick? | ||
| You're a fucking idiot, okay? | ||
| Is your dick above your belt buckle? | ||
| You, sir, are an asshole. | ||
| You need to pull your fucking pants up. | ||
| You can't possibly be contributing to society. | ||
| How old does that make you feel to have that? | ||
| Very old. | ||
| That rant. | ||
| Not just old, but confused. | ||
| Like, this is not... | ||
| Something has happened that I did not explain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think... | |
| We've lived through eras and are familiar with evolutions of fashion as it is. | ||
| Bell-bottoms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not nearly as preposterous. | ||
| No, no, they're not. | ||
| And yet, not nearly as offensive either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So we started off, I'm from 77, so I remember when bell-bottoms were still kind of hanging around, you know, in those fucking Mork and Mindy vests with like the multicolors on them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Goofy shit, right? | ||
| And the bold haircuts. | ||
| And going into the 80s and the abstract hairs and all the different... | ||
| And there was all the androgynous shit. | ||
| There was the super tight stuff. | ||
| There was the really colorful stuff. | ||
| There was everything. | ||
| The girls that looked like Nagel paintings... | ||
| Okay, I've seen all that, and then you go to the 90s, and then it just got, okay, sagging pants, and like weird, odd colors, and shoulder pads, and whatever, and then the 2000s, and then you start, now we start combining fashion stuff from classic eras, and I mean, all sorts of stuff is making all kinds of comebacks, so you're seeing looks from all over the place, everywhere, every day, even right now. | ||
| That The sagging jeans, I just can't get it. | ||
| That's the bottom, that's the least understandable. | ||
| If you're a rock star on stage and you're sagging your jeans a little bit and you're deliberately trying to look like you're a pile of shit, like some sort of thrown together, just sloppy son of a bitch on purpose, yes. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| To a degree. | ||
| When you're like a size 30 waist and you've got 40 jeans on and they're just piled around your ankles. | ||
| What the fuck are you thinking? | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Buying quadruple X shirts that hang down past your knees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know who wears shirts that are so big that it covers their whole body? | |
| Women do. | ||
| When they sleep in them at night. | ||
| Or when they're pregnant. | ||
| Or when they're pregnant. | ||
| They wear that or girls wear that. | ||
| When you're like 14. Yeah. | ||
| Your nightie shirt. | ||
| Silly bitch. | ||
| Someone's gonna pants you. | ||
| Someone's gonna pants you and push you over. | ||
| And then pull your shirt over the fucking top of your face. | ||
| And then give you noogies. | ||
| Yeah, take a piss on you. | ||
| It's a ridiculous look. | ||
| And I can't believe it's still around. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| And I think it has something to do with the fact that we're not fulfilling our hunter-gatherer genes. | ||
| Our hunter-gatherer genes are being ignored. | ||
| Our hunter-gatherer genes are sagging right now. | ||
| Yeah, our warrior genes, they're not being fulfilled. | ||
| So we have all these genetic impostles that are all suppressed. | ||
| And so what do people do? | ||
| It goes off in aberrations. | ||
| And some aberrations are like sagging genes. | ||
| They do stupid shit because they know that they're not... | ||
| They don't have to worry. | ||
| If you were out in fucking Alaska and you were running away from bears all day, you would have your belt buckle cinched in, you'd have your fucking boots tight, and you would walk outside the door, and you would go, shh, shh, shh, the fuck is that? | ||
| You wouldn't be like, yeah, man, you know, I'm just taking cough syrup and my pants sagging. | ||
| Dudes are medicating themselves on purpose. | ||
| Leaving their house dulled. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they're thumbing their finger. | ||
| They're giving the finger to nature. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're saying, it's so safe. | ||
| I can go out with my fucking belt tied to my dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm so bored. | |
| I have to think of new ways to be an asshole because I don't have anything to worry about anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Sedated. | ||
| Going outside, not worried about anything. | ||
| Sip and scissor. | ||
| Sleeping on a park bench. | ||
| You're not worried about animals coming up and eating you. | ||
| There's no animals out here. | ||
| They're pigeons. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You're not going to worry about shit. | ||
| No, they're not doing a damn thing. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| We've thumbed our nose in the face of evolution. | ||
| This is the rebound. | ||
| The easier things get, the weaker we become, the more we start looking for new and other ways to try and express that which is not being used at all. | ||
| Not that I'm saying everybody needs to go out and start getting in fist fights and drinking whiskey and being fucking heavy metal badass like myself, but do something. | ||
| Do something difficult so you can test your character. | ||
| Anything difficult. | ||
| Yes, anything. | ||
| Just start by, let's say, maybe, one, using definite words when you speak. | ||
| Stop saying like, kind of, sort of. | ||
| I sat there and listened to a cable guy connecting my stuff saying, well... | ||
| You kind of do this, and it's like that. | ||
| What do you mean it's kind of and like? | ||
| You fucking hit the enter button, and it absolutely, positively chooses said thing that you fucking put the cursor on. | ||
| It's not kinda. | ||
| It's not sort of. | ||
| It's a filler. | ||
| It's another way of saying uh. | ||
| It is, but now it's like commit. | ||
| Commit. | ||
| People don't want to commit to anything. | ||
| Nobody wants to deliberately say, I'm going to be there at this time, and I'm going to fucking be there. | ||
| I'll kind of maybe... | ||
| No one ever wants to also be deliberate in their speech because what they say... | ||
| I think that black is the new gray. | ||
| And then someone goes... | ||
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And they disagree because you made a definite statement. | ||
| You took a stand. | ||
| You made yourself, you know, and I think black is the new gray. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| If you think differently, fine, we're going to get into an argument about it. | ||
| I might run you over with my fucking car or whatever, but this is how I feel about it. | ||
| And if you say, I kind of think black is the new gray, it gives you that wiggle room that you can fucking slink your way out. | ||
| You're greased up enough you can slide under the door. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Kinda. | ||
| And I fall... | ||
| It's such a common... | ||
| It's part of speech at this point that even I find myself saying like and kind of here and there, but I can't stand it. | ||
| I hate when I catch myself saying like. | ||
| Like is about it. | ||
| I'm not all about the like either, but kind of this and sort of that. | ||
| No. | ||
| It isn't kinda or sorta anything. | ||
| Lots of shit in this world is not kinda or sorta. | ||
| It just is. | ||
| You can't get away from that. | ||
| Just fucking deal with it. | ||
| That's just a huge pet peeve of mine, dealing with people on a regular basis. | ||
| It's so much easier for someone to think of Things always having the ability to excuse themselves from it. | ||
| So that way they don't ever have to take the brunt of the responsibility either. | ||
| Well, I'm sure your reason for not liking that in other people is that you would hate to see that ever in yourself. | ||
| It's a weakness. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| We've all done those things. | ||
| We've all done bullshit stuff like that. | ||
| I think the difference being is when you realize that that was bullshit... | ||
| Yeah, you learned. | ||
| And some people aren't learning. | ||
| That's where someone needs to kick them in the ass. | ||
| Someone needs to say, listen, you've got to catch the fuck up. | ||
| Learn from your mistakes and then improve and move on. | ||
| It's not just a continual cycle of failing and trying to get back on the horse and failing. | ||
| It's learn how to ride a fucking horse. | ||
| It's not how many times you fall off the horse. | ||
| Don't fall off the fucking horse again, stupid. | ||
| Train the horse right, ride the horse right, and don't fall off the fucking horse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| You could be Christopher Reed if you keep falling off of horses. | ||
| Especially if you want to get a horse to jump over some shit that he doesn't want to jump over. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will never understand that. | |
| You know what? | ||
| It is a lot to say that you can master an animal like that, but it is a massive fucking animal. | ||
| And when it doesn't want to do what it wants to do, how do you... | ||
| I think it's great that we can use our intellect to control this thing, but when it came down to physical... | ||
| Aspects. | ||
| Like, you can't make a fucking horse through what it doesn't want to if it really didn't want to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Especially jump over shit. | |
| It's one thing if you're riding a trail horse. | ||
| You want the horse to ride on a trail. | ||
| A horse with a 200 pound man on his back, it's really not that big a deal for a horse. | ||
| And they can safely walk. | ||
| But you want a horse to jump over shit? | ||
| You want it to fly through the air with a person on his back. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You're fucking crazy. | ||
| Have you ever tried? | ||
| There's a lot of other shit. | ||
| Go fucking take a martial arts class. | ||
| Learn how to drive a race car. | ||
| Race cars are great. | ||
| They have brakes. | ||
| Race cars are great. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| They are fantastic. | ||
| Yeah, you learn how to steer. | ||
| They're very predictable. | ||
| It's not a fucking animal. | ||
| Some crazy animal. | ||
| It has a mind of its own. | ||
| It just wants to jump for whatever reason. | ||
| It wants to buck you back. | ||
| It lands on you and crushes your skull on a rock. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| The rest of your life, you have a window the size of a quarter that you can see the world out of, and you're fucking shit in your pants. | ||
| That's not anything that I'm interested to. | ||
| This is why I shoot all horses on sight. | ||
| Have you ever had some of those Alistair Overeem horse digs? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I haven't worked my way up. | ||
| I'm more of a goat dick guy. | ||
| I'm accused with the whole heavy metal attitude. | ||
| Horse meat's supposed to be really delicious, actually. | ||
| I have had horse meat in Japan, raw. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Raw? | |
| Yeah, it's like a horse sashimi. | ||
| It's like a delicacy over there. | ||
| Especially in Kyushu and the more southern prefectures. | ||
| But I just, it doesn't... | ||
| I didn't dig it. | ||
| It was alright. | ||
| And then, Brian Johnston... | ||
| Is it kind of gamey? | ||
| Kind of gamey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| I couldn't really... | ||
| I'd be like... | ||
| Is it a venison-like sort of a taste, maybe? | ||
| Closer to that. | ||
| But I like venison. | ||
| Love venison. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's a little... | ||
| I'm amazed how hard it is to get venison. | ||
| You would think like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, you'd think like, these are fucking pretty prevalent animals. | ||
| Why isn't someone breeding them like around here? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, Venice is delicious. | ||
| Like somewhere on the valley or something. | ||
| Yeah, get a big fucking field. | ||
| Oh, because here's the thing. | ||
| It's hard enough to get assholes in Hollywood to eat meat as it is. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And then you go ahead and you want to deliver something like, okay, they're going to eat cow. | ||
| They'll eat chicken. | ||
| They'll definitely eat fish. | ||
| I was just making fun of somebody the other day. | ||
| What do you want to go? | ||
| Sushi. | ||
| Oh, of course you want to go to. | ||
| Sushi. | ||
| Let's go to Sushi. | ||
| I love Sushi so much. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Give me some Sushi. | ||
| Have you ever been to this sushi restaurant? | ||
| Why does every woman in LA want to eat fucking raw fish? | ||
| Why do you think that is? | ||
| Because it's what they think every other woman in LA does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yes. | ||
| I thought it was because it was yummy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's good, but it's not like, fuck, let's always go eat sushi. | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| You don't wake up one day and just think, Okay, I might even still want fish. | ||
| I just want it cooked. | ||
| Are you a red meat man? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I like everything, man. | ||
| So I ate the horse meat, and it was alright, but... | ||
| Well, you predominantly... | ||
| What do you eat? | ||
| Do you have one thing to eat almost above everything else in your diet? | ||
| Do you eat fairly clean? | ||
| Do you like nutrition-minded or flavor-minded? | ||
| I try to be both. | ||
| I mean, I do really enjoy the red meat. | ||
| Hamburger or steak or and you can do a lot. | ||
| It's pretty versatile, too. | ||
| Especially after you left, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the most satisfying food. | ||
| The one thing is, okay, there's that or if I just had some serious piece of ass, the very next thing I want, the very next thing I want is a fucking ham. | ||
| I have left apartments at odd hours of the night. | ||
| Just tracking down any 24-hour Carl's Jr. Jack-in-the-box, anything, because I need a fucking hamburger immediately. | ||
| Man, after I saw Food Inc., I'm done with the late-night hamburgers. | ||
| I switched over. | ||
| I tried to eat some chicken sandwiches. | ||
| I'll eat like a Carl's Jr. chicken sandwich or something like that, but the burgers... | ||
| It's either In-N-Out or Wendy's. | ||
| I can't do McDonald's burgers. | ||
| They're too fucking gross. | ||
| I almost never eat any of that crap. | ||
| I'll be honest. | ||
| If I'm going to have a burger, there's plenty of places I could go that I know the meat is a lot healthier. | ||
| I understand also the idea of keeping costs. | ||
| I go so far overboard in terms of what corporations will try to do to save a buck. | ||
| Basically, you threw all integrity out the window, so I can't support that. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's not even a burger. | ||
| Have you seen those pictures where they can take a McDonald's burger and then they track it for six months and it doesn't rot? | ||
| It just sits there? | ||
| Well, I heard, I did read about that because my buddy did the same thing in his gym, CrossFit Bread. | ||
| He took the burger and just left it there, and it didn't, and then, so I read something about, well, it's got so much salt in it, so it's more of a salt thing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And they said the weirdest thing about it isn't really the burger, it's the bun. | ||
| That thing not molding, that's the most fucked up part of the whole thing. | ||
| And you should really be the most worried about putting that in your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That fucking crazy bun. | ||
| I didn't even think of that bun. | ||
| I figured that bun's just a piece of bread. | ||
| I mean, you can salt meat to a degree that it keeps for a long time. | ||
| They've been doing that forever. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But long before we had refrigeration, all meat was salted pretty much. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you can make it into jerky. | ||
| That bun? | ||
| Bread doesn't have that kind of shelf life. | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| What are they putting in there? | ||
| Some insane preservatives? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Something, yeah. | ||
| Something totally gnarly that you really probably shouldn't be putting in your body. | ||
| It's amazing, but in order to feed the amount of people that we have packed in the cities, like you just drove here from Orange County. | ||
| Think of that crazy drive, which is one of the worst drives in the country, as far as population centers. | ||
| I mean, that is an enormous amount of people, from the 405 to the 5A. That whole area, that's an incredible amount of people. | ||
| And you're going through all these different demographics the whole way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they all need food. | |
| Everybody needs food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They need food. | |
| I think that there is a... | ||
| Okay, Penn and Teller, I love watching Penn and Teller bullshit, and they have their whole thing on organic food, and about how various chemicals also determine whether something can be called organic or not. | ||
| Some certified, or things that can be considered organic in terms of pesticides are actually worse than the things that they've created since then. | ||
| Well, fine. | ||
| But there's that fine line where if you, like, you can take it to this point, okay, to a degree, but people take it back, you know, they want to save that extra, like, 30 cents on the dollar, or 3 cents on the dollar, or a half a cent on the dollar, and, like, Pink slime? | ||
| I mean, that should just never be. | ||
| That should just never be. | ||
| Pink slime? | ||
| Yeah, that paste that they throw into the burgers. | ||
| Oh, yeah, Lord, yeah. | ||
| Or, like, all the really gnarly... | ||
| They treat it like ammonia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, see, I mean... | |
| To kill all the bacteria that's in it. | ||
| It's like, the idea that that's a burger is ridiculous. | ||
| That ain't a burger. | ||
| Have you seen what they do to fast food burgers? | ||
| The fillers and all the different things they add? | ||
| I love In-N-Out. | ||
| I'll fuck an In-N-Out burger up. | ||
| I'll have a 3x3 with cheese and raw eggs. | ||
| Do you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you like Five Guys? | ||
| Five Guys? | ||
| I do like Five Guys. | ||
| Pretty fucking good. | ||
| I might like them better than In-N-Out. | ||
| I think they got a taste of your bun. | ||
| My buddy was going, no, In-N-Out's better. | ||
| I will say that they're... | ||
| Equal, but different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Equal, but different. | |
| Both pretty fucking badass. | ||
| Did we just say separate or different? | ||
| Equal, but different. | ||
| Separate, but equal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Equal, but different. | |
| That's true. | ||
| They're equally delicious, but in a different way. | ||
| Yeah, they're in a different way. | ||
| I'm a big umami fan. | ||
| I'm really on a hunt to find the best ultimate cheeseburger you can get anywhere. | ||
| And umami's definitely got a great one. | ||
| Father's office is fantastic. | ||
| I'll spend the, whatever, you know, the 12 bucks on a hamburger. | ||
| There's a place in Atlanta called The Laughing Skull, and they got some cheeseburger place above it that is... | ||
| God, I can't remember. | ||
| Do you remember that place, Brian? | ||
| The Laughing Skull? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What's the cheeseburger place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't remember. | |
| Torsion, Fusion, and fucking... | ||
| Whatever it is, if you're in Atlanta, it's above the laughing soul. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the fucking greatest cheeseburger place on the face of the earth. | |
| They had great buffalo burgers with blue cheese and just gourmet, slamming cheeseburgers. | ||
| Real meat, cooked the way you want. | ||
| You want it rare, they give it to you rare. | ||
| You want it medium rare, you can trust it. | ||
| It's like, oh, it was so goddamn good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sounds awesome. | |
| There's a place in Chicago I gotta get to. | ||
| It's all heavy metal themed called Kuma's Corner. | ||
| They have a Slayer Burger, Goat Whore Burger, Lair of the Minotaur. | ||
| What's in a Goat Whore Burger? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was! | |
| It was like a lamb patty or something with ground beef or sirloin. | ||
| And these are like gourmet pretzel rolls with goat cheese on top and all that stuff. | ||
| I mean, all baked. | ||
| The Lair of the Minotaur one has these sautéed pear slices that have been thrown on top of gorgonzola and all this. | ||
| I mean, just damn! | ||
| And you have dirty metalheads in there listening to like, you know, Immortal and Death and they're just counting burgers. | ||
| Eating the greatest burgers in the known world. | ||
| Well that's a weird combination that they do is like into Death Metal and exquisite gourmet burgers. | ||
| That's so rare. | ||
| That's exactly why I want to go there. | ||
| How did you become a big death metal head? | ||
| I started off just getting into metal from the classic rock side of things. | ||
| My dad used to play guitar just for fun, played blues and classic rock, and grew up listening to Sabbath and Led Zeppelin and The Beatles and what have you. | ||
| And then I found this kid That was the son of my babysitter. | ||
| He introduced me basically to Iron Maiden. | ||
| And that was like, oh fuck yeah. | ||
| And of course, at like six years old, seeing Eddie, the mascot, was like the coolest thing ever. | ||
| Like, look at that fucking dude. | ||
| He's got a hatchet. | ||
| If you haven't seen Iron Maiden, it's like the monster looking zombie thing. | ||
| Yeah, he's like the zombie. | ||
| That's what they call him. | ||
| Right, Eddie. | ||
| And I remember then he had this Killers shirt for the album Killers and it's got Eddie's like holding like some limp woman in his hand with like a bloody hatchet in the other. | ||
| That is so badass! | ||
| And then I remember like from there was like Metallica and Slayer and Megadeth and Anthrax and and and then that progressed to I remember hearing Sepultura and that was harder and heavier and then I found this band Bolt Thrower, and I'm like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| The covers are so amazing, and they're from these Games Workshop, like Rammer 40k stuff, so I'm like, I already like that, so let me check this out. | ||
| Oh god, this is the heaviest, most crushing music I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| It sounds like an entire army of guitars coming up over the top of a ridge, and then all fist-fucking you all at once. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| While Marshall amps drop out of the sky continuously on top of you. | ||
| There's raining on you. | ||
| Being ridden by like trolls. | ||
| Is that the kind of shit you listen to in your car? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| I didn't blow my tire out though. | ||
| I can't blame the music. | ||
| Oh, it didn't blow your tire out. | ||
| No, no, it didn't. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Do you listen to them when you work out, too? | ||
| I listen to it all the time, but it really depends on my mood. | ||
| The only thing I don't have on my iPod is country music. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I can't get with country music. | ||
| Or reggae. | ||
| No reggae? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No reggae. | |
| No Bob Marley? | ||
| I could probably buy one reggae compilation album and have all the essentials for any reggae song ever created, ever, and I'm okay. | ||
| There's like ten really good ones, right? | ||
| Could you be loved? | ||
| That's a great jam. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a great jam. | ||
| Get up, stand up, not too bad. | ||
| Get up, stand up. | ||
| Yeah, but it gets a little repetitive. | ||
| Hey, I, you know, I've heard. | ||
| Okay, got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got it. | |
| Yeah, all right. | ||
| Now what are you thinking about today? | ||
| I and I what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Yeah, but at least it's better than Hawaiian music. | ||
| Hawaiian music is fucking brutal. | ||
| I love Hawaii, and they're very proud people, and I would understand if you got offended, and when I go to Hawaii, next time people are pissing me, but the reality is, you're there, you're at a perfect rock, you are in the perfect climate, the most beautiful place in the world, and you're playing a song like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the red and green banana. | |
| Think of all the shit you could be playing right now. | ||
| You could be playing Whole Lotta Love. | ||
| You could be playing Led Zeppelin. | ||
| You guys could have Leonard Skinner. | ||
| You could be playing some real fucking music. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How is this still around? | |
| How has this not been changed by the introduction of other characters? | ||
| Or just taking Disney songs and then just redoing them. | ||
| You need to let that song go. | ||
| That song should never be sung again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That song's ridiculous. | |
| All the great songs, but it's like one of those island things, you know? | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What always cracked me up is you look through the magazine. | ||
| I remember flying to Hawaii for the first time, fighting Super Bowl XIII, and I'm looking through the in-flight magazine, and it's got a little section for all the music. | ||
| It's got like, oh, here's Channel 4's Locals. | ||
| And you look, and there was like this gnarly, big, jacked up dude with a big handlebar, like the gnarly biker mustache, you know, whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, oof-a-oof-a-moof-a-loof-a is his name. | |
| And then you go and you listen to his music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You have the sweetest voice ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet your blowjobs are like hand cakes right in the morning. | |
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Like with strawberries and syrup while I'm just dripping off the plate. | ||
| I bet he massages your shoulders while he's sucking your dick. | ||
| I bet he does. | ||
| And I bet he just pulls him out of socket. | ||
| Because he's like 470 pounds, 8 feet tall, and used to play, you know, center for the fucking NFL. It's just bad music for the greatest place on earth. | ||
| It just doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It has a whole warrior culture, too. | ||
| It's softest, most chill music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's most like it's all good sweet home Imagine if you killed the whole red and green banana shit. | |
| I'm gonna take five minutes while we'll rest in Hilarious, oh that was cool. | ||
| Maybe it's oh I always thought that maybe it was a strategy to keep people from moving to Hawaii. | ||
| Just keep playing that shitty music. | ||
| I can get tired of this music. | ||
| Because if you were on the beach now, the best bands in the country all were in Hawaii. | ||
| You're like, why don't we live in Hawaii? | ||
| This is so much better. | ||
| It's warmer and cool. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| And they're already upset, right? | ||
| You spend a lot of time in Hawaii. | ||
| There's a lot of people get upset. | ||
| They're not happy about all of us Howlis coming down there. | ||
| Or actually, really, anybody from the mainland. | ||
| They're just like, why don't you stay there? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Even if you're Hawaiian blood and you live in the mainland? | ||
| See, I can't speak on that, but as far as if you're just not Hawaiian, Did you ever live there? | ||
| No. | ||
| I spent time there. | ||
| Amazingly, Hawaiians are great to me. | ||
| I love Hawaii. | ||
| I like island cultures at large. | ||
| I think part of it is because I'm from a place like Seattle and I have some country roots to me in terms of like I grew up hunting and race cars and just all kinds of redneck-y ass shit in addition to any of this high art bullshit that my mom got me sort of winged on. | ||
| and love modern architecture and culture and the classics and reading. | ||
| But fucking down there, they're like, oh no, you're really down to earth, dude. | ||
| You're cool, you're all right. | ||
| You're cool, you're a cool alley. | ||
| The rest of those fuckers, like, well, sure. | ||
| I mean, if you see the average douchebag American tourist, you know, rude to wage staff. | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't want them in my fucking country either. | ||
| Especially a lot of people, like, you don't want some fucking spin on this vacation, you better all kiss my ass. | ||
| One of those Jersey douchebags. | ||
| Could you imagine one of those Jersey Shore type housewives of Jersey type of douchebags? | ||
| Or you could even take the Jersey Shore out of the West Coast. | ||
| Someone from Huntington Beach. | ||
| Yeah, one of those assholes run down there like, bro, bro, you, bro, you know how much I do. | ||
| Bro, I just popped so much money on these bottles, bro, bro. | ||
| Yeah, that's perfect. | ||
| That is a really good impression of one of those assholes. | ||
| All you gotta do is say bro 17 times in every sentence and you've got it down. | ||
| They all need to chill the fuck out. | ||
| Get more tribal tattoos, bro. | ||
| Josh Barnett, we need to get those motherfuckers in the gym. | ||
| They need to get strangled. | ||
| They need to get humiliated. | ||
| They need to get brought down to earth so they can calm the fuck down and just be a little nice. | ||
| It tastes so much more than that nowadays. | ||
| It really does because so many guys, especially on the West Coast now, you know, like the West Coast beach bag, They go to the gym every now and again. | ||
| They definitely lift. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They go there, they go train some jiu-jitsu plays, they train whatever they do. | |
| They train and then, I train tempo, I train UFC. And they get in there, they never really, some of them fight a little bit. | ||
| Granted, they're not fighters, they're just guys that had a couple fights, which is a big difference. | ||
| Even getting humbled and humiliated in the gym? | ||
| Not enough. | ||
| Because outside of the gym, that's a different place. | ||
| That's some sort of country that only exists there. | ||
| And then when I'm out in the general populace, when I'm being an asshole on the streets of Main Street and PCH, It's different. | ||
| That is a big problem down there. | ||
| There is a lot of those guys, right? | ||
| There is. | ||
| Douchebags are douchebags of every genre. | ||
| Every douchebag has this thing. | ||
| You've got your hipster douchebag that thinks they're so above you and they're so cultured and everything they say has so much fucking meaning behind it and so much deeper. | ||
| It's like, no, you're just... | ||
| As bullshit as anybody else. | ||
| In fact, more so because you don't even realize that the shit you say doesn't matter. | ||
| Or, you know, then you've got the MMA douchebag who runs around and wants to make sure everybody knows that they train and that they can fight and all that kind of bullshit. | ||
| You've got your club douchebag. | ||
| You've got douchebags of all sorts. | ||
| I mean, everybody takes it. | ||
| There's money douchebags. | ||
| There's fitness douchebags. | ||
| Fitness douchebags are great. | ||
| You can't even have a conversation about anything but their diet. | ||
| I mean, that's just wonderful. | ||
| That's how I want to spend the next 30 minutes sitting at a table with someone that's talking about how many, like, grains of rice they can have and every meal. | ||
| And it's for, like, a fitness competition. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Well, it's like, you know, you sort of do, you know, different poses and, you know, you do, like, maybe a little bit of gymnastics. | ||
| Like, are you a cheerleader? | ||
| That seems a lot like cheerleading, man. | ||
| A little bit like cheerleading, yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is going on here doing a fitness competition? | ||
| Is there a guy with a megaphone yelling at the same time? | ||
| Are you supporting a team? | ||
| Oh, look at some of those fitness chicks. | ||
| They're ridiculous bodies, right? | ||
| But even if the minute they step off the stage, they're like, I'm fat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm fat. | |
| I'm not looking at me. | ||
| I'm fat. | ||
| I'm fat. | ||
| It's like, hey, how you doing? | ||
| Hey, what's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi. | |
| Oh, you're bomb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're good looking. | |
| Let me talk. | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I don't want to talk about, you know, boneless chicken breasts. | ||
| No. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| You get bored. | ||
| I've got somewhere to be, but I'll be right back. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| You need to do a superset in the morning. | ||
| I'm thinking of Ryan Hills. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to fucking do it! | |
| I don't want to talk about it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ! | |
| How could anybody consider that to be something interesting? | ||
| Yeah, we have that. | ||
| We have an understanding in that I know what a superset is, and I have Ryan Hill. | ||
| But I don't do it for entertainment. | ||
| I'm like, oh, you know. | ||
| Well, I've never understood people that are into, like, I can understand wanting to be in shape, but I can't understand, like, CrossFit competitions and stuff like that. | ||
| To be the best in the world at working out? | ||
| Yeah, to be the best in the world at doing cleans. | ||
| But not an Olympic. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Like 100 queens in a row with 50 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| What's going on here for real? | ||
| I was like, oh, bodybuilding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so garbage. | |
| Okay, hold on. | ||
| Everybody has a way, you know, they're using the way that they're gonna lift for a specific purpose. | ||
| Now, I'll say, I think bodybuilding is pointless. | ||
| Like, what's the point of putting all that time and effort to look, to just look a certain way and never use it? | ||
| And then you've got CrossFit, which is the same thing, Exact same thing, but just they're in actual better overall shape, and you know, they use it, but they only use it for more working out. | ||
| So, they're just basically just jerking off the whole time. | ||
| That's all anybody is doing. | ||
| They're just jerking themselves off. | ||
| And, you know, okay, well, why don't you... | ||
| Bodybuild because you gotta look better on the screen. | ||
| Or do powerlifting because you want to be stronger and then do a CrossFit whatever workout for your anaerobic endurance and all this and then take it and then go play a game. | ||
| Go play football with your friends or go hiking or climb a mountain or go do grappling or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Take all of that and then apply it into a skilled deal. | |
| I saw this video where there was, it was like the gist of it was these two NFL dudes are boxers or they're NFL guys, former NFL. They just come from Boxing Packs and they did some CrossFit workouts and CrossFit gym. | ||
| LA and then they did it an X amount of time and here's our CrossFit guys that are here all the time. | ||
| The two dudes, the two CrossFit kids did it faster than the other guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm like, but they can catch a fucking football. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You can just run around with your socks pulled up to your knees like an asshole. | ||
| That's all you can do. | ||
| Yeah, you can do 100 kipping pull-ups. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| So what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| No one's trying to stop you from doing that. | ||
| No one, you know what? | ||
| 100,000 people are not going to fall into a stadium and pay you millions of dollars to watch you do kipping pull-ups. | ||
| Well, sports are about someone trying to do something and someone else trying to stop them from doing something. | ||
| It's a multi-faceted sort of a thing. | ||
| When you're doing a bunch of chin-ups, no one's stopping you. | ||
| It's just you doing a bunch of chin-ups. | ||
| It's kind of a weird halfway sport. | ||
| I can see how it's athletic. | ||
| I can see how it requires willpower and discipline. | ||
| Amazing shape. | ||
| Yeah, it's impressive when guys can do incredible shit, but I would rather learn a martial art. | ||
| I'd rather learn how to play a game. | ||
| I'd rather learn to do something. | ||
| I'd rather learn how to play hockey. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| There's just got to be more input. | ||
| There's more going on than just standing there doing cleans. | ||
| I can't, I don't get it either. | ||
| I think that's the shit you do to help you be better at the real thing that you do. | ||
| Yeah, the guy I was talking to about it, he's like, well, I just like competition. | ||
| I'm like, you got a competition. | ||
| Go to Jiu-Jitsu class. | ||
| Take some, get some. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| Go join an intramural basketball league. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Do something where you really, fucking play pool. | ||
| Go play a pool in a tournament. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or just do CrossFit, be in shape, And that'd be the way that you stay in shape, and then that'd be it. | |
| Don't go running around telling the whole world about it. | ||
| Don't look at somebody else and be like, well, when I did that, when I did Francine, when I did Zelda, I did it in 17 minutes, and that's... | ||
| I don't care! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nobody cares! | |
| They have different names? | ||
| Yeah, they have different names. | ||
| They all have a righteous indignation when they order the green tea at Starbucks. | ||
| I think the root of all that kind of stuff isn't doing CrossFit. | ||
| You could substitute CrossFit with anything else. | ||
| It's just that something comes along It gets to a certain level where people start jumping on it because one, whether it's good or it's bad, it's something that's new and it's different and it is a change from what the norm was so therefore everybody feels like they're improving who they are, they're growing and now they're a part of something that's more special. | ||
| And therefore, that by a group gets taken way out of context. | ||
| And then the after effects of that are people becoming douchebags. | ||
| There's CrossFit douchebags. | ||
| There's a douchebag in there. | ||
| He's broken down mathematically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| By the way, a lot of nice CrossFit people. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that don't want to just go to a gym and just lift weights and be bored, so they take CrossFit classes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People like the news. | |
| You always remember the shitty stuff. | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of good stuff about CrossFit, folks. | ||
| We're not shitting on CrossFit. | ||
| Working out and staying healthy is awesome. | ||
| I love that CrossFit has looked back to older, simpler ways of training and brought that to the populace. | ||
| I think that's great. | ||
| You know, strongman type stuff, old school, some of the old school thought processes of just, you know, grab heavy shit and lift it. | ||
| But, you know, there's a lot of flawed reasoning, in my opinion, behind some of that too. | ||
| And also, like, I get so sick of the, oh, I, you know, I'm training like a fighter. | ||
| Like, no, you're not. | ||
| You're not a fighter. | ||
| No, he's beating you up every day. | ||
| No, it's not the same. | ||
| No one's trying to choke the life out of your brain. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, and if you, you know, you go to kickboxing class at night, that doesn't make you a fighter either. | ||
| Like, fighters are fighters. | ||
| People that do martial arts do martial art, martial art, you know, they train. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Training is, just know what, just be realistic. | |
| And there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| You know, if you're not going to be, A fighter, even though you train in martial arts, that's okay. | ||
| People talk to me about coming and training at the gym or whatever, and I said, you know what? | ||
| Don't do it because you want to be a fighter. | ||
| If you really want to be a fighter, then be a fighter. | ||
| And be a fighter to every level that you need to. | ||
| Which means you're probably never going to amount to anything with fighting. | ||
| Because the odds are totally against you. | ||
| But that's not the reason you do it. | ||
| Not because of success that you think you're going to get from it. | ||
| You do it because you're driven. | ||
| And you love it. | ||
| And you have to do it. | ||
| And that's the only way that you can ever fully realize the utmost of your potential. | ||
| More people are going to fail than are going to succeed. | ||
| But honestly, if you are better when you end it than when you started, and you don't have any regrets, then you absolutely succeeded. | ||
| You didn't get the medals. | ||
| You didn't get the money. | ||
| But you took you as you stood here today and became something better and more encompassing and have lived a life experience because you decided to do something and do it like you mean it. | ||
| And that's hard for people to wrap their heads around that, you know, I go into the gym, I just want to be better when I step off the mat than I was when I stepped on it. | ||
| And some days aren't so great, some days are amazing. | ||
| And I also have like this huge mean streak, like I hate losing and whatever, but I also, and as much as that, It's always a part of who I am. | ||
| I have to temper that and I'll have to look at all the data that comes from everything that I do when I'm in the gym and then break it down and then be more effective with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't just think, that guy, he was out jabbing me today. | |
| No, I mean, yeah. | ||
| In my head, I'm thinking, I'm going to jab the living shit out of that fucker until his dick falls off. | ||
| That's how much I'm going to jab at dude. | ||
| I'm going to jab him so many times that he's never going to want to get in the ring with me ever again, ever, period. | ||
| You think this is about training, actually? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But, I also have to sit back, but I'll go, why was he able to jab me? | |
| What did I do wrong? | ||
| What did I do right? | ||
| Why is his jab so effective? | ||
| How do I take that and make it mine? | ||
| Or how do I... Analyze that and see the patterns before they become a problem for me. | ||
| That's very important, isn't it, in the development of a martial artist to see someone who's at an incredibly high level and realize that that is where the mark is set. | ||
| You can't be the best at everything. | ||
| There's somebody out there, there's probably plenty of people out there, that I can just annihilate and use as a toothpick, use their bones as toothpicks when I'm done with them. | ||
| But chances are, out of that group of people that I'm talking about, there are people within that, there's things that they do better than I do. | ||
| That may be that one thing, or maybe a couple things, but they're better at it than I am, by far. | ||
| So I could look at them and take something from it. | ||
| It doesn't matter how much better of a fighter I am, there's so much to be seen or taken in. | ||
| There's a million ways that the body can move. | ||
| One way, you know, and I realize that there's some things I'm never going to be great at because of physicality, physical limitations, injuries, whatever. | ||
| It's just, that's okay. | ||
| Like, I'm never going to be able to do rubber guard because my knees are too fucked up. | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which one would you need? | |
| Oh, I've torn ligaments in them and they're just... | ||
| The meniscus has been repaired on the right before. | ||
| They won't take it. | ||
| If I pull on them too hard like that, it'll start to loosen up. | ||
| You're a leg lock master. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Man, that's got to be kind of tricky to be a guy with injured knees and be a guy who... | ||
| Right. | ||
| I just have a very good feel for it and I know what I can get away with. | ||
| I know a lot of leg locks to your ankle goes before your knees. | ||
| All my ankles are not the greatest thing either. | ||
| You just sort of understand what you're dealing with and then go from there. | ||
| But I have, nonetheless, since I know that I'm never going to be someone that can effectively be a good rubber guard guy, I pay attention because like Shannon Baszler likes to use those setups. | ||
| So she's working on something. | ||
| I can go to her and go, okay, look at you, you know, get the angle like this because look at the way that that puts your body weight and your pressure against their joint there. | ||
| And this is where now you're creating a weakness in them at this angle. | ||
| So you can defeat that That angle here. | ||
| Or, hey, this guy's really good or upper guard. | ||
| Now watch how he's going to try and get these angles and these positions on you because this is where it's going to take you out of position. | ||
| So this is higher and you're going to have to defeat that because fulcrums and levers. | ||
| It's all relative. | ||
| Do you work on your flexibility a lot? | ||
| I do. | ||
| It's just hard. | ||
| It's hard to get there and I'm older and How much of a fighter's success do you think is a timing issue, like getting involved in a sport at the right age, the right time to get excellent at something? | ||
| How much of it is bulldog determination and just the ability to learn from your mistakes and press on despite the bad feelings? | ||
| It's mental. | ||
| The mental aspect takes the most of it because the mental aspect is the thing that's going to not only make you want to fight when you want to quit, But it'll also make you step back and realize that all these things, all these circumstances came about within these moments and how to take them, change them, understand them, and make the appropriate changes and additions and fashions from your game to be better. | ||
| You have to be analytical like that and you have to remove emotion from those circumstances because once you get emotionally attached and worked up about it, then it will... | ||
| Defeat your ability to be as useful as possible. | ||
| Especially in the case of a lot of people, most people, are never going to be really successful with fighting, especially if they choose it as their occupation. | ||
| It's not going to make the money for them that they want. | ||
| But it should deter somebody and they should just do it because they love it. | ||
| I was watching a lecture by Alan DeBain, I think his name is, something like that, on pessimism. | ||
| It's a philosophical lecture on pessimism and about how one of the reasons why you get so upset about things and you get so worked up is because you have these expectations that things are always going to work out well. | ||
| But the reality of it is most things don't work out at all. | ||
| In fact, there's almost always more failure than there is success. | ||
| But you're so primed for success. | ||
| You have such a belief that this will always work in your favor. | ||
| It's like his example was of traffic. | ||
| You get so mad and angry and honking and pissed off behind the wheel in traffic. | ||
| But the thing is that there's always traffic. | ||
| Traffic is not the exception, it is the norm. | ||
| So when you encounter it, why should you be so mad? | ||
| It's always there. | ||
| And it always occurs. | ||
| So it's more unusual for there to not be any traffic at all. | ||
| But we have this concept in our head that even getting behind the wheel and driving down the road, it's all going to work out for us. | ||
| Instead of us having to waste, just like every other schmo, because things are the way they are. | ||
| Yeah, that's a funny way of looking at it. | ||
| One thing is that we can't appreciate failure as a tool for success. | ||
| You know, because every time that I've ever, especially as a comedian, one of the best, most motivating factors is bombing on stage. | ||
| When you eat a dick on stage, you never want that to fucking happen again. | ||
| And you'll tighten everything up. | ||
| You'll go over your material with a fine-tooth comb, think about your delivery, you listen to recordings. | ||
| You don't want that feeling. | ||
| How long does a joke suck before it becomes good? | ||
| You never know, man. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Sometimes you'll come up with a joke and it's perfect the moment it comes up. | ||
| And then other times it might take a year for a joke to evolve. | ||
| I remember Louis C.K. was telling me that Chris Rock has this one really controversial bit. | ||
| He goes, I love black people, I hate niggas. | ||
| You ever heard that bit? | ||
| I don't think I have. | ||
| It's a brilliant bit about the difference between, in his mind, a black guy and A nigga. | ||
| And it took a long time to work, apparently. | ||
| It took like a year. | ||
| It was bombing for a year. | ||
| He would go on and do it and he just couldn't get it to work. | ||
| And then it became, eventually, it became like a closing bit. | ||
| It became a bit that was just a destroying, perfect, old-school, classic bit. | ||
| But it's one of those things where every bit's got its own timeline. | ||
| It has its own shelf life, too. | ||
| Some bits are timeless, and some bits, they're only good. | ||
| They're a monster for six months. | ||
| Maybe it's topical. | ||
| Maybe things change. | ||
| You can't make a joke about VHS tapes anymore. | ||
| Nobody gives a shit. | ||
| Time moves on. | ||
| I used to have a great joke about Nextel phones. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about Nextel phones. | ||
| Some of them last for a long time, and some of them don't. | ||
| Some of them are done the moment you say it the first time on stage. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's its lifespan. | ||
| It's funny only the first time hearing it and that is it. | ||
| There's some of that and there's some bits that are a fully formed bit the moment out of your mouth and they last for years. | ||
| It's totally different. | ||
| It completely depends on the subject, depends on what you're trying to say, how silly or complex it is. | ||
| Depends on, I imagine, also what bits led into that. | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| What bits go from it. | ||
| Not just jokes being said, but what tone is being said. | ||
| So all of a sudden you're going one direction and you change gears. | ||
| Sometimes that immediate hard stop catches people off guard and it makes them laugh. | ||
| Or at least it gets their mind spinning in a way that sets up the next stuff. | ||
| Or sometimes it just confuses them and fucks the whole rest of the next ten minutes of jokes up. | ||
| Just knowing that you can be a comedian. | ||
| You can easily be a comedian. | ||
| Just having this conversation and knowing that. | ||
| I always tell people it's not that complicated, but it's not easy. | ||
| It's a weird, bizarre trip. | ||
| The closest I've ever been to a comedian was sitting with a friend who was a comedian, and they were going to go on, and I'm just hanging in there, and it's this pre-show, and a bunch of us are all just hanging out in the aisle way, and I'm just Being me, and cracking stupid jokes, and doing wordplay, and whatever. | ||
| Someone's like, you know, you working tonight? | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| I got a little boner, and I was like, very little. | ||
| And I just thought, no, I'm not a comedian at all. | ||
| The way you think I'm funny, I like that. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| It's not that complicated. | ||
| It's almost like a normal skill that everyone sort of has in a small form. | ||
| Most people at least try to have like one or two things they can say that are witty in their life. | ||
| It's just a matter of cultivating those and becoming like a witty farmer. | ||
| How many people can keep their nerve too though? | ||
| It's a little of that, yeah. | ||
| If I had to get on stage and deliver stand-up, that would freak me the fuck. | ||
| That's way more fearful than fighting even five guys all at one time. | ||
| That's okay by me. | ||
| You say that, but once you do it a couple times, it would be easy. | ||
| Dude, I have been in some of these public speaking scenarios where people go, oh, you're so great. | ||
| I go, I'm shitting myself. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| But it's crazy shitting yourself. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Like, there's no real fear. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And that's a hard thing to get past is that in my mind, I know that... | ||
| That all this fear is all self-created. | ||
| If everybody thought I was an idiot, who cares? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It only matters what I think. | ||
| If I don't think I'm an idiot and I'm okay with it, then fuck you all. | ||
| Like, go fucking, you can all burn. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| Doesn't it take a long time to get to that point of comfort, though? | ||
| That is part of being a man. | ||
| One of the most important parts of being a man is getting to a point where you genuinely, truly don't give a fuck if someone doesn't like what you like. | ||
| It's like, I know what I like. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Very few people really don't give a fuck. | ||
| And even once we get to that point, where is the one Area. | ||
| Well, a couple areas, I should say, where we make those exceptions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pussy. | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pussy. | |
| Pussy breaks you. | ||
| Pussy ruins the mind. | ||
| Breaks a man. | ||
| Oh, pussy, you're tragic. | ||
| It can break a man. | ||
| Pussy, you know, I was, one of my, this song I've been listening to, from Every Time I Die, I got this great lyric. | ||
| It says, it's not lack of ambition that keeps, it's women not lack of ambition that keeps good men bedridden. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I know dudes that it becomes such a massive part of their life. | ||
| It eclipses all else. | ||
| I have a friend. | ||
| I've seen him glued to his fucking phone. | ||
| It should be integrated into his body. | ||
| He's on it so much. | ||
| And yet, it's constantly shattered. | ||
| Little text here, there. | ||
| Oh, well, an hour's gone by on this one, so I need to send a response. | ||
| And just constant... | ||
| Communication between women the whole time because that's the amount of effort it takes to bang that much fucking tail. | ||
| And I remember sitting there thinking, I don't have the patience for this at all. | ||
| Like, it'll just get to a certain point that if I deal with enough stupid shit, I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. | ||
| Get off of my fucking phone. | ||
| Lose my number. | ||
| I don't want to talk to you anymore. | ||
| It's hard enough for me to even have a conversation with you with my thumbs. | ||
| Let alone have to think about the idea of putting aside a block of time to run into you to work you up to the point of trying just to have sex with you. | ||
| Yeah, it gets to a weird point where some people just want to chat all day. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Like you get a text like, what's up? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| What's up with you? | ||
| Thinking of going to the gym? | ||
| Then fucking go. | ||
| Then fucking go. | ||
| Cut this shit. | ||
| But don't tell me how it turns out. | ||
| That's what your Facebook is for. | ||
| To tell me that you're going to go to the gym. | ||
| To tell me how good of a workout you had. | ||
| You've got to beat up with them face-to-face. | ||
| And you'll listen. | ||
| Time is very precious for me. | ||
| I'm a vagina. | ||
| Vagina, vagina, vagina, man. | ||
| So it takes a certain amount of... | ||
| And this is probably why I'm a single man. | ||
| But... | ||
| Also, but that's also why men try so hard to be bad motherfuckers. | ||
| They try so hard to be bad motherfuckers partially. | ||
| One of the reasons to dominate is to be more attractive to women. | ||
| Yes, naturally. | ||
| But I gotta tell you, the difference between being a real bad motherfucker and being an outwardly seemingly bad motherfucker is night and day. | ||
| If you're an outwardly, if you seem like you're a bad motherfucker... | ||
| Than most people think you are. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The real bad motherfuckers, nobody really ever knows it. | ||
| There's a few of those. | ||
| They don't have to tell the world. | ||
| It's like someone asked me the other day about if I ever get into street fights or anything like that. | ||
| And I go, no. | ||
| Because the people, even when I want to fight them, they won't. | ||
| And they're like, oh, who would fight you? | ||
| And I go, they don't know who I am. | ||
| I'm not famous. | ||
| I'm not a celebrity. | ||
| You are amongst martial artists. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| If you give me my little pocket of people, yeah, I'm fucking somebody there. | ||
| On SureDog, you're huge. | ||
| Yeah, on SureDog, I'm so popular. | ||
| I'm so amazingly... | ||
| I'm just all flammable. | ||
| But in the rest of the world, nobody knows who the fuck I am. | ||
| I'm okay with that. | ||
| So, you know, I've had guys eyeball me, whatever. | ||
| I've seen the fucking signs of it. | ||
| You'd think if anybody knows when a fight's going to happen, it'd be a fighter. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, when I go... | ||
| Or if someone's being a dick deliberately in my presence or to a woman that's around or whatever and I step up and I say something and they're like, I go, people don't want to fight me. | ||
| And they go, well, because you're big. | ||
| I go, no, no, no. | ||
| It's got nothing to do with any of that. | ||
| It's because when you look into somebody's eyes, you can tell who really wants to fucking fuck people up and who really doesn't. | ||
| And I don't get upset. | ||
| I don't yell. | ||
| I don't scream. | ||
| I don't have to do any of that. | ||
| I just look at them. | ||
| I tell them how it's going to be. | ||
| And I let them know if this is what we want to do. | ||
| I'll enjoy it. | ||
| Let's please make this happen. | ||
| I've said to one guy, I'm like, how many friends you got? | ||
| He's like, why? | ||
| Because you don't have enough. | ||
| Let me just tell you that much. | ||
| Or I told one dude, you don't know anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that can kick my ass. | ||
| So, I don't know what you're going to do here, bud. | ||
| You're in a bad way. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I laughed at a guy at an Anthrax concert. | ||
| I'm standing there with a girl. | ||
| And he keeps trying to nudge through. | ||
| People keep trying to nudge through like right where we're at. | ||
| And I'm like, of all places, you see a dude and a chick go somewhere else. | ||
| So I'm standing right there and I decide that's it. | ||
| They're going to have to start going around. | ||
| So I keep my elbows out. | ||
| I feel this dude bumping into me on the right side. | ||
| He can't get through. | ||
| So he tries to get through on the left, but I'm just standing tall. | ||
| So he's trying to get around it, but he can't. | ||
| It's like pushing him over him running himself into my own elbow. | ||
| And then he starts getting mad. | ||
| He's yelling at me about something. | ||
| I'm going, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just trying to get through, man. | |
| I go, I said this, that, and I said blah, blah, blah. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I go, anthrax is playing. | ||
| I can't fucking hear what you're saying. | ||
| And he's looking at me crazy and I go, just walk up to the front. | ||
| And he gets all fucking wild eyed and he's looking at me crazy and I go, is this what you want to do? | ||
| Yeah, I just started laughing at him. | ||
| I go, you just need to keep moving. | ||
| And eventually the girl in front reaches up and grabs a hold of his arm and pulls down and goes, don't do this. | ||
| Really don't do this. | ||
| I'm just smiling the whole time. | ||
| And he just fucking, of course, he leaves. | ||
| It's all about the posturing. | ||
| You get upset, man. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| You're reoccurring this in your mind. | ||
| You're recreating this in your mind. | ||
| I can see your pulse quicken, your testosterone racing. | ||
| The problem is that I stay calm, but... | ||
| But you carry a grudge. | ||
| You carry a story inside of you. | ||
| Oh, I'm a Scorpio. | ||
| So apparently, according to all the books that they say out there, I carry grudge. | ||
| But it's also... | ||
| By the way, that's total stripper talk. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I'm a Scorpio. | ||
| I'm a Scorpio. | ||
| I'm spicy. | ||
| I was a sissier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ow! | |
| But the thing is, I love being in those violent confrontations. | ||
| Why do you like that? | ||
| Is it because when you were picked on when you were a kid, you still harbor some resentment towards people that would fuck with you? | ||
| Because you're a nice guy. | ||
| You would never fuck with anybody. | ||
| But if someone was fucking with you, it's almost like now you have a license to pay back. | ||
| I can't put a real finger on it. | ||
| It was... | ||
| I knew that I enjoyed fighting when I was a kid, like being in the fights. | ||
| I didn't start the fights, but if you gave me a reason, cool. | ||
| And then my mom said I was the angriest kid ever. | ||
| She said, well, when I was born, I came out frowning. | ||
| I looked like Ron Paul, and she tried to hug me, and I stiff-armed her. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And she said it broke her fucking heart. | ||
| I wouldn't let my own mother hold me. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I was yellow, and I was jaundiced, and I was an asshole, apparently. | ||
| I just came out, I was like... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And she said as a kid, I just... | ||
| Once I... Blew up about, if I got angry, I got so angry. | ||
| It wasn't like temper tantrum angry. | ||
| It was like fumingly, raging, violent, like flames and daggers. | ||
| I wonder if that's connected between your health at birth, you know, being in poor health at birth and being like brought into this world in a bad situation where you're uncomfortable, yellow and jaundiced. | ||
| I wonder if that like set the stage for an angry, or maybe you got some Viking genes too. | ||
| I might, I might. | ||
| You might got some Viking genes in there. | ||
| What are you from? | ||
| I bought those at Nordstrom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they true religion Viking jeans with a Chuck Norris gusset? | |
| It's got horns and a beard on the crotch. | ||
| As long as it has plenty of really big buttons, snaps, intricately carved. | ||
| It's not a place to hang my handbags. | ||
| And it has to be pre-damaged. | ||
| Pre-damaged, of course. | ||
| It has to look like it's already been through, you know, the poetic Eddas. | ||
| That's the only thing that's almost as gay as the sagging pants, is the cut-up pants. | ||
| The chopped up, distressed. | ||
| The fuck is that? | ||
| I went to one place and I was like, do you have any fucking pants that don't have holes in them? | ||
| Can I just buy a pair of goddamn jeans? | ||
| I like to have a regular pair of jeans. | ||
| I'm not a child. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| This is not going to last. | ||
| This fake worn out jeans. | ||
| This shit is temporary. | ||
| I'm not buying a fucking pair of jeans that are fake worn out. | ||
| It's one thing you wear a pair of jeans out. | ||
| There's pride in that. | ||
| These are jeans I've had for 10 fucking years. | ||
| They're comfortable as shit. | ||
| Yeah, there's some holes in them, but I broke them in, man. | ||
| I banged so-and-so in those jeans. | ||
| I can't let them go. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| I don't know if I have any... | ||
| I want to actually take that DNA test that tells you why... | ||
| Yeah, tell you if... | ||
| Because I know I'm German, and I know I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian, and I've got some English in me, but... | ||
| I know I got Neanderthal in me. | ||
| I know I do. | ||
| Look at this brow wrench. | ||
| Fucking brother-in-law used to call me the eagle from the Muppets. | ||
| The eagle from the Muppets of Frown! | ||
| I never even thought of that! | ||
| The eagle is such a prominent frown! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, so, uh... | ||
| You can asshole, Pat. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's a funny fucking visual. | ||
| But I want to take that test to also see if I got the warrior gene. | ||
| Oh yeah, there is a warrior gene, right? | ||
| Which is supposed to make people kind of gnarly. | ||
| And the thing is... | ||
| I don't have to have anything personal or any grudge. | ||
| I don't have to be mad to get into a fight. | ||
| Enjoy it. | ||
| Even getting hit, hitting back, just the whole thing. | ||
| I know for me, fighting is the time I feel most alive and free in the entire world because I can go out there and do just about anything I can do with who I am and no one's going to try and stop me. | ||
| Do you prefer old school rules? | ||
| Do you prefer Supergirl rules? | ||
| I prefer... | ||
| For those who don't know, Supergirl with soccer kicks, stomps... | ||
| I prefer everything. | ||
| Headbutts, elbows, no knuckles? | ||
| I understand the... | ||
| No gloves or gloves? | ||
| I think they were gloves. | ||
| Do you prefer gloves or no gloves? | ||
| I prefer gloves, only for your own benefit. | ||
| Or broken hands. | ||
| Yeah, but not to say that it's really been doing much for broken hands. | ||
| You just broke one of your hands. | ||
| Broke this one, Cormier's got a broken... | ||
| A lot of broken hands in MMA. Yeah. | ||
| Super common, right? | ||
| Yeah, very. | ||
| Is there any way around that? | ||
| It's hard to say. | ||
| I don't know if it's an equipment thing. | ||
| Is it possible to pad the gloves more, or is it just that... | ||
| Well, I'll say this, but one thing I noticed in Pride, there wasn't that many broken hands. | ||
| Yeah, well, I was asking that once, too. | ||
| And I was saying, is it a better glove? | ||
| Is the Pride glove a thicker glove? | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| Chell Sonnen would say, because it's all fixed fights. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| You know, Chell Sonnen would say that. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| When he says some of that shit about pride fights, come on, man. | ||
| Some of that is just ridiculous. | ||
| It's a brilliant stance to take. | ||
| It's such a fucking aggressive, just obnoxious thing to say. | ||
| Someone is bound to get run. | ||
| Now, who's dumber? | ||
| The person that gets mad or the person who says it? | ||
| The person that gets mad, clearly. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But the problem is, there's a wee bit of truth in the fact that some fights in Pride were staged. | ||
| Like, if you look at Coleman, Takata, it's pretty obvious there was something going on there. | ||
| There's a few every now and then. | ||
| I mean, you look at, like, Crow Cop Noguera. | ||
| That's a real fucking fight. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| That's a real fucking fight. | ||
| But, man, you watch Coleman tap out to that heel hook from Takata. | ||
| Ah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute! | |
| Wait a minute! | ||
| Okay! | ||
| Oh, dramatic pause. | ||
| I mean, that was ridiculous. | ||
| It's not the best example of Pride. | ||
| What was it like being, you were there in the golden era, man. | ||
| I mean, you were there during the time when Pride was, in my opinion, like, put on some of the greatest shows in mixed martial arts history. | ||
| The Pride Openweight Grand Prix. | ||
| This is true. | ||
| The middleweight Grand Prix. | ||
| I mean, you just look at just the historic fights like Minotaur versus Bob Sapp. | ||
| I mean, there's some crazy historic fights from your era. | ||
| You were there, man. | ||
| You were there for all that shit. | ||
| What was that like? | ||
| Un-fucking-believable, dude. | ||
| What was the biggest crowd you did? | ||
| The biggest crowd I ever fought in front of was 50,000. | ||
| The biggest crowd I ever stepped out in front of and at least grabbed a mic was 93. Jesus Christ! | ||
| And people want to tell you how big MMA is here, and I go, it is. | ||
| And in America, once it hits the media, the way American media is, things blow up in such a different capacity than they do in Japan. | ||
| Man, we were stepping in front of 30,000, 50,000 on a regular basis. | ||
| I did a show with Hulk Hogan. | ||
| Hulk Hogan wrestled Chono and 55,000 people and I fought Yoshiki Takahashi and defended my King of Pancras belt in the Tokyo Dome. | ||
| Those shows were on such a different level than what we see here in the States and the feeling, of course the feeling is going to be different in terms of culturally it's going to be way different because you have Japan, this incredible homogeneous society with their ways and Very specific versus America, so try and compare that sort of thing is not really fair. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Apples and oranges. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It really is. | ||
| People are different everywhere. | ||
| You go hold those fights in Uganda or you hold them in Transylvania or whatever, they're always going to be different because people's cultures are different. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they felt so dynamic, those shows. | ||
| They were so big. | ||
| It wasn't just the lights, it was the mood, the setting. | ||
| When that music would start up and the lights would drop. | ||
| Dun, dun, dun, dun. | ||
| And you're sitting in back and I'm fighting like ninth or something. | ||
| I'm all of a sudden, I'm just wired. | ||
| I'm ready to go. | ||
| I'm like, let's just fucking grab swords and start screaming and running down the ramp. | ||
| They add a lot of pageantry to those events, too. | ||
| I mean, look, I did not appreciate it sometimes when I was like, just get to the fucking fights already. | ||
| These things are like six hours long. | ||
| You were so jazzed up in the beginning, but looking back, man, when everybody would line up, you know, and they would introduce fighters one at a time and they would all line up, you're like, wow, this is going to be a fucking epic night. | ||
| It really did build it up. | ||
| It really did make it more of a special event, you know? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| The UFC, they've kind of done away with even, like, some of the walk-ins. | ||
| Like, when we're pressed for time, sometimes guys are already in the cage, and, you know, there's no walk-in at all. | ||
| And Bellator doesn't even have walk-ins, really. | ||
| Yeah, nothing. | ||
| And I, you know, a TV product definitely changes things, and in Japan, their TV system is way different than we run over here. | ||
| Didn't Joe Healdi Olivera get burned? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Yeah, he was a big fan of Michael Jackson's, and he thought it would be, you know, real cool to set himself on fire before he went out and fought. | ||
| No, what really happened? | ||
| You should have seen his jerry curl before he lit up. | ||
| Oh, jerry curl. | ||
| How's another thing? | ||
| How the fuck did that ever happen? | ||
| Another jerry curl and sag jeans and pre-ripped jeans. | ||
| How the fuck did those exist? | ||
| Nah, Johil got hit with... | ||
| He was in the wrong spot. | ||
| I don't know if the marker was wrong or he lost in translation. | ||
| And he got hit with some pyrotechnics and it just lit him up. | ||
| Now, thankfully, he... | ||
| With the burns he was able to come back and he even fought again in Pride. | ||
| So I'm really... | ||
| I'm really glad that that was the case, because Jogil de Oliveira, Luta Libre legend, old school NHB dude, that's fucking sad. | ||
| Yeah, that is sad. | ||
| I mean, for a lot of people who don't know, he was one of the original guys back in the day. | ||
| You know, he fought in some of those Vale Tudo events. | ||
| Yeah, Brazilian Vale Tudo, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the bare knuckle, no rules events. | ||
| They were so crazy, like when Gary Goodrich fought the Pedro and grabbed his dick. | ||
| Literally reached into his pants. | ||
| There was no rule against it. | ||
| So reached into his pants and crushed his balls in his dick, in his hands. | ||
| Like, no one had ever thought of that. | ||
| No one had ever decided. | ||
| But Gary went so deep, he literally grabbed the guy's shit. | ||
| So deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god! | |
| Gary Goodrich is a fucking arm wrestling champion with these gigantic arms. | ||
| And just imagine that guy crushing your package. | ||
| I think he might have started off with a tickle. | ||
| Get a guy to let go of the underhooks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just a little bit. | |
| And then a tickle turned into a squeeze. | ||
| And see, the guy... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you know what? | |
| The guy didn't tap out immediately. | ||
| It wasn't like... | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Giant black man, hand on my crotch, squeezing. | ||
| Ah, fuck! | ||
| No, it was... | ||
| Hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Maybe Gary had a finger. | ||
| He was giving a shocker. | ||
| Massaging his prostate. | ||
| Maybe his balls were already numb. | ||
| It's like he had taken so many ball shots. | ||
| Maybe that's why he tapped out. | ||
| He's knuckles deep. | ||
| He's got two knuckles in there. | ||
| He's going, you know what, dude? | ||
| You need to go get this thing checked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gary, I know we're fighting and everything, but I feel a lot. | |
| We need to get you out of here. | ||
| He's like, thanks. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Did you ever fight in a... | ||
| I never stuck my knuckles in a man's ass. | ||
| No, any event that allowed ball shots? | ||
| Like the old Heath Hackney-Joson fight? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| By the time we were doing that, it was always sort of a universal, like, dude, just don't hit anybody in the nuts. | ||
| Heath Hackney-Joson is a famous moment in MMA. Boom. | ||
| And he's putting a tiger choke on him. | ||
| A tiger choke! | ||
| Especially when you find out later that Joe Son is a fucking mass rapist. | ||
| A maniac. | ||
| Crazy person. | ||
| A crazy person who was involved in a gang rape. | ||
| They caught him for something else and they did a DNA scan on him. | ||
| And that guy used to always hang around the comedy store. | ||
| He was always in the back room of the comedy store. | ||
| You'd run into him and he'd call everyone sir and bow to everyone. | ||
| He was really weird. | ||
| He was really, really weird. | ||
| Yeah, and he would have, like, no shirt on. | ||
| He was, like, super yoked. | ||
| Really short limbs, but super yoked. | ||
| He'd be calling everyone, sir. | ||
| And then it turned out that this guy was, like, a mass or a gang rapist. | ||
| You're like, oh, wow. | ||
| What a weird guy to have hanging around. | ||
| That's about as bad as it can be, but I don't know. | ||
| I would think that, in his mind, he probably set his bar even higher than that. | ||
| Did you ever try any of these compression shorts, cup things that a lot, you know, like videos of them, like Jaco has one and Diamond MMA have one? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I used to wear the dirty boxer one. | ||
| Mine tore. | ||
| But I also learned a hard lesson of if you're wearing, and see, okay, I also, I wear Belletudo trunks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, if you're wearing... | ||
| Spandex trunks. | ||
| And you put spandex shorts on underneath that. | ||
| Spandex and spandex just sort of all of a sudden your outer trunks are like turned into some sort of Daisy Duke wedgie up your ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then your under trunks are hanging. | ||
| You just look like a guitar. | ||
| Hot as fuck is what you're trying to say. | ||
| Oh, you look sexy as shit. | ||
| Those compression shorts are probably the best way to avoid really bad ball shots, right? | ||
| Do you use a tie cup? | ||
| No, I use a jock strap. | ||
| Just a plain old jock strap with one of those flexible cups because my thighs are so big that a normal cup it just starts digging into the Those flexible cups are good, but I've tried recently. | ||
| The reason why I ask is Diamond MMA has this really intense compression shorts set up with all these straps. | ||
| Are you sure it's for training and not for like... | ||
| Well, he's got a ball gag, but that's optional. | ||
| The idea is that this guy has eliminated the movement, which is where the cup fails. | ||
| You know, the cup moves to the side, and then you get kicked in the balls, and the cup actually hits the balls, which obviously can happen if you just have a loose jockstrap. | ||
| So you can't pull up to the side? | ||
| Yeah, his shit is, yeah, there's no tuckies from the side. | ||
| This shit is slammed in place. | ||
| But Kenny Florian says that a tie cup is the best. | ||
| He says that you could, if you, it's uncomfortable as fuck, because it has to go up your ass like a G-string, but if you do it that way, it's not movement. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| So we're saying Kenny Florian isn't an ass play. | ||
| I don't think he's into that, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I don't think he minds chafed inner thighs, though. | ||
| Yeah, he's okay with that. | ||
| Because it's a goddamn steel cup with like a little piece of leather around the side. | ||
| Rubbing balm into his grove. | ||
| Yeah, you probably have to before you get going. | ||
| You probably have to use some KY on the sides of your thighs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit. | |
| Some kegels. | ||
| I don't know how kegels is going to help you. | ||
| Okay, so here we're going off on a tangent. | ||
| It's a shit direction, man. | ||
| We're talking a lot about cups. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is not entirely what I thought was going to be on the table today, but... | ||
| Well, it's a terrible design, the human body with the balls on the outside for fighting. | ||
| I mean, you're a fighter, okay? | ||
| But if your balls weren't on the outside, she couldn't lick them while you're stroking it. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a trade-off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you got the good with the bad on that one. | ||
| Just what a ridiculous button that every man has his button. | ||
| Ding, ding, ding, ding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's out there. | ||
| Everybody knows where it is. | ||
| We're all running around vulnerable. | ||
| And we've made countless jokes about it. | ||
| If you didn't know, not only was it painful, it's hilarious. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah, even when you're watching an MMA bout and someone gets kicked in the ball, it's like, oh! | ||
| Let's watch it one more time. | ||
| Yeah, we always replay it. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| There's no reason to. | ||
| But there's got to be fetishes built around... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cups. | |
| Oh, sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I'm sure people sell their cups. | ||
| Or like someone that wears a cup and gets a boner under the cup somehow. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like fucking crushing his mushroom. | ||
| Weird dudes that like jerking off to guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maurice Smith. | |
| What? | ||
| He's not that guy. | ||
| Joseph, I heard your podcast, Joseph. | ||
| That shit wasn't funny. | ||
| Maurice Smith. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He should really tell this story. | ||
| But he was... | ||
| For folks who don't know, former UFC heavyweight champion, great kickboxer, world heavyweight kickboxing champion, and trained... | ||
| And owner of a utility belt. | ||
| Not a joke. | ||
| A utility belt? | ||
| He's got this fucking leather utility belt thing with pockets and pouches and all this shit and gadgets. | ||
| And it's monogrammed, MS on it. | ||
| For multiple sclerosis. | ||
| So it's not quite a fanny pack. | ||
| It is the ultimate of fanny packs. | ||
| It's, you know, Batman. | ||
| It's a bat utility belt. | ||
| I'm a little jealous. | ||
| Well, he can get one made for you. | ||
| He was pretty proud to tell me. | ||
| I'm like, I'm actually mocking you. | ||
| I'm not asking for it. | ||
| For a location where I could have one of my own. | ||
| I'm sure you saw Maurice's last fight. | ||
| Of course I did. | ||
| I jumped out of my chair. | ||
| I was losing my shit. | ||
| It was so awesome. | ||
| I knew exactly when it was all going to go downhill. | ||
| There was a point, because I used to spar Maurice all the time, and he's standing out in front of the guy and he kind of gets this little grin. | ||
| I go, that's it. | ||
| He's figured this dude out. | ||
| He's got him handled. | ||
| It's only going to get worse from here. | ||
| And Mo doesn't go for the kill. | ||
| He's not like to get in there and just try and annihilate the dude. | ||
| He chop. | ||
| He just, score! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Score! | |
| Score, Josh! | ||
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Too hard. | |
| It's too hard. | ||
| Score! | ||
| Score! | ||
| That's Maurice Smith. | ||
| So anyway, he's fighting in the UFC. What is that? | ||
| Score, score, score? | ||
| That's his philosophy. | ||
| It's like, just score. | ||
| If you keep landing, you're good. | ||
| Don't try to go for the kill. | ||
| You set yourself up. | ||
| Eventually, the right shot will present itself. | ||
| He threw that right hand and step right kick. | ||
| He knew the guy was going to take off to his left. | ||
| He ate it. | ||
| It was majesty. | ||
| He was great in the first Coleman fight, man. | ||
| When you really got a chance to see... | ||
| He talked all that shit. | ||
| He's like, oh, you hit like a girl and all this, and Coleman tried to punch him out and gassed, and he just took his time. | ||
| He was so calm, and he never got upset by it all. | ||
| I was talking, and me and him were talking before the fight, and everybody thought he was going to his death. | ||
| And Maurice was so calm. | ||
| He was so calm. | ||
| He was just hanging out back there with Kirk, the dude he used to train him. | ||
| Kirk Jensen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where'd you go? | |
| No. | ||
| Settle down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So anyway, so Maurice Smith... | |
| He's driving around in his Porsche and his license plate says Kickboxer. | ||
| Yeah, he always had like an old, like redone, he always had like 73 with like a little too much engine to it. | ||
| Or like a GT2 kit on it or something. | ||
| So anyways, he's driving around in his Porsche and I think somebody I don't remember how he ended up getting in contact with this guy, but he was fighting, he was doing extreme fighting, and he was fighting UFC, and this guy, at a bus stop, somehow, he's sitting, he goes, hey, hey, I want to buy something off of you. | ||
| And Maurice is like, okay, he's like, let me buy your jockstrap. | ||
| And Maurice had his stuff on him, and he goes, like, 300 bucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Guy pulls out 300 bucks, sells his jockstrap and takes off. | |
| And Maurice is like, I don't care. | ||
| You can do whatever you want. | ||
| What an idiot. | ||
| I got $300. | ||
| I'm like, and you have now a Maurice Smith limited edition semen-stained frickin' jockstrap now. | ||
| Maybe the guy's wearing it on his face like Darth Vader. | ||
| Like, it's something. | ||
| Something. | ||
| And then it made me think, what is my jockstrap worth? | ||
| Would I sell it? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| How much? | ||
| I'd like to get five figures for it. | ||
| Five figures? | ||
| Thousand bucks? | ||
| That's not impossible. | ||
| You know what I think? | ||
| If you could take... | ||
| Well, it's too bad you probably already washed it from the Corvier fight. | ||
| I smell great, man. | ||
| You know what would be amazing? | ||
| If you had plastic bags. | ||
| I'm not saying that you should fake this, but if you did have plastic bags where a jock from the Randy Couture fight is in a Ziploc bag for medically sealed... | ||
|
unidentified
|
For medically sealed. | |
| This is the jock strap you were wearing when you won the title. | ||
| How much would that be worth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Only jockstraps. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Only jockstraps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you just had them all in a file at home. | ||
| I'm not saying you should fake this. | ||
| But if you did have a file that you'd pull apart and it was filled with organized... | ||
| How many fights have you had now? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Unsanctioned included, over 50. Could you imagine if you had 50 plastic bags filled with every jockstrap from every fight that you'd ever been in, including some with blood on them, some smeared, you know, some with quick knockouts where you didn't even really get them stinky. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| They would have to be hermetically sealed because the smell is radiating for said jockstraps for like a 15 mile radius would pull in every woman. | ||
| And every, like, feral dog. | ||
| Yeah, there would be howling and shit. | ||
| Coyotes at night. | ||
| And, like, the Cormier one would probably be worth the most because there's still, like, sweat inside the bag. | ||
| Still, like, some, like, bubbles. | ||
| Still damp. | ||
| Some moisture bubbles in the bag. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But, like, you know, if you go back to the Pride days, those are dried out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They've shrunk a little, even. | ||
| Look, someone's going to do it now. | ||
| Because we've brought it up, we've set that in motion. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I've got to pay for tires if I keep blowing up. | ||
| So what better than to use a little bit of elastic around my waist? | ||
| You might be able to retire on this. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| If you could, you would. | ||
| If you could retire on something as ridiculous as that. | ||
| Selling your jockstrap? | ||
| Well, we should put up a thing. | ||
| You got one more fight coming up in Strike Force, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long is it going to be before your hands healed? | ||
| I'm sure I got at least another three months. | ||
| What do you have to do for physical therapy when that happens? | ||
| Do they put a pin in it and everything? | ||
| Yeah, there's a plate and pins. | ||
| I'm going to have that removed at some point. | ||
| Do you have to have that removed, or is it an option? | ||
| No, I don't have to, but I think it's smarter in the long run. | ||
| To heal the hammer, right. | ||
| A lot of people that have plates in their arm, the plate is the problem, right? | ||
| Right, and if it does break, if you break the hardware, now you've got that crap stuck in the bone, it makes it even worse to try and put it all back together. | ||
| What's Nogueira's situation? | ||
| I think it's called the humerus, the upper bone snapped when Mir tapped him. | ||
| I think he just started rubbing acai on it. | ||
| I think his issue right now is the plate. | ||
| I don't know if they can go in and take it out, though. | ||
| Oh, he can't fight? | ||
| No, he pulled out of the Congo fight. | ||
| He apparently is in intense pain during wrestling. | ||
| He was fine for a little while, but then when he got to wrestling, there was just too much pain. | ||
| I guess, you know, that plate digging into your bones and digging into the meat of your arm. | ||
| I don't think you're supposed to... | ||
| I mean, I think that has to be probably removed if you're going to engage in combat sports. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would think so, yeah. | |
| What about Muir's leg? | ||
| Whatever happened with that? | ||
| Does he still have the plate in it? | ||
| It's probably a prosthetic with a machine gun in it by now. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| Where he hides his knives. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| Hi, I'm one of the biggest, strongest dudes walking the planet, and I'm covered in weapons. | ||
| Covered in guns. | ||
| For all the people that want to attack me. | ||
| Well, I don't know what that's all about, but he is the wrong dude to fuck with. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| If he fell down a flight of stairs, he'd stab himself to death. | ||
| And shoot people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Getting shot through office buildings. | ||
| As Frank Mir trips on the sidewalk. | ||
| His ankle gun goes off. | ||
| Oh, he blows up a gas station across the street. | ||
| His dick dagger just stabs him in the foot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dick dagger! | |
| Yeah, what's up with him is like him who's already a killer and he wants to be fully armed to the teeth when he leaves the house. | ||
| He's like a real survivalist type of dude in that way. | ||
| You live in Vegas. | ||
| I imagine his survival skills are a lot different than the usual guy. | ||
| Like, how do you avoid vomit on the street? | ||
| How do you get into the strip club without paying? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, when you work there, it's easy. | ||
| But Vegas is a dark place, though, as far as the type of people that you... | ||
| Everybody that talks about Vegas, I'm like, I hate Vegas. | ||
| I don't like it because it's, one, it's purposefully fake and engineered to fuck you up. | ||
| Even from the carpet, from the way they did it. | ||
| I think it's kind of cool that they've figured out the ways to make you gamble and spend money and fuck your life over to some formula. | ||
| Like, wow, that's pretty good. | ||
| That's fucking cool. | ||
| In a way, I just don't want it to happen to me. | ||
| But then, once you leave the strip, right? | ||
| Leave all the opulence and all the cool shit, you know, all the fucking things that they're dangling out there to pull you in. | ||
| And you get just outside the strip, like, every service industry thing around there is filled full of all the lost, gray-tee, fucking prison-tatted, like, wrangled-up, fucking-used condoms of people that all, like, lost everything in Vegas and they can't leave. | ||
| And, you know, you go and you order your Sonic Burger and you're like... | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| I don't know what happened to you, but that looks contagious. | ||
| I don't really... | ||
| Seven fucking snaggle-tooth on one side. | ||
| It's a strange, strange part of the country. | ||
| Bad news. | ||
| Strange part of the country. | ||
| It's a desert. | ||
| It's a fucking desert. | ||
| What if it's in a desert? | ||
| There's life in the desert. | ||
| I've seen all that National Geographic bullshit, too. | ||
| I know it. | ||
| Not really meant for us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know who lives in the desert? | ||
| Crazy people, curmudgeons, you know. | ||
| Wieros. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were actually talking about that before you got here. | ||
| We're like, if the shit goes down, Vegas is one of the last places you want to be because there's no food there. | ||
| They can't get food. | ||
| So once trucks stop coming in and planes stop landing with food, it's over. | ||
| All those $6 prime ribs? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No money. | ||
| There's no money for casinos. | ||
| Save the Northwest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can grow everything you need up there. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| I was watching the video of Chael Simon preparing for Anderson Silva, and it showed Portland. | ||
| I'm like, God damn, that's beautiful. | ||
| Look how fucking green everything is. | ||
| Green and healthy. | ||
| I mean, you could have an incredible garden there. | ||
| But you'd have a serious problem in Portland. | ||
| What? | ||
| All the people with the fucking discs in their ears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| You'd be off-putting that. | ||
| All the rings in the noses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they sagging? | |
| No, they're not sagging. | ||
| That's another thing I don't get, the bullring. | ||
| So many beautiful women have that. | ||
| The bullring right in the nose. | ||
| It should only be okay if you can attach a little chain onto it and drag them around. | ||
| Wasn't that a girl like Tina Marie? | ||
| Didn't she have that? | ||
| She had the nose ring and the cord to the ear. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Yeah, Portland does have a lot of freaky people with those nose rings. | ||
| That nose ring is so unnecessary. | ||
| I've seen some girls that have a nose ring, and it's kind of sexy. | ||
| Like, I dated a girl once who had a ring in her nostril. | ||
| People can pull shit off. | ||
| Yeah, but they can't pull off that bull ring. | ||
| That's pretty tough. | ||
| I've never seen anybody pull that off. | ||
| The other thing is, chest tattoos on a woman is not my thing. | ||
| Unless she's hot as fuck. | ||
| With the skull with the wings. | ||
| Yeah, and I look at it, but I'm like, you're not a sailor. | ||
| Are you going to get to a bare knuckle fight or something? | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| You have tits. | ||
| You have the greatest tattoo ever created for your chest. | ||
| Yeah, you have the ultimate visual. | ||
| Big tits, little tits, whatever. | ||
| You got tits. | ||
| You don't need to put ink on top of the tits. | ||
| Leave the tits alone. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| Leave me to have the chest tattoos and the handlebar mustaches. | ||
| While you brought this up, I have to write something down because I can't forget that I have to make fun of my friend Bill Burr for using a Thomas guide in 2012. He's one of those dudes. | ||
| I love the guy. | ||
| He's an awesome comedian. | ||
| But he has a 1950 pickup. | ||
| I think it's got the shifter. | ||
| Like a three speeder on the column. | ||
| On the column. | ||
| And he's got no navigation system. | ||
| He uses fucking Thomas guides. | ||
| And he's always joking around about it. | ||
| Using Thomas guides. | ||
| There's some people that refuse. | ||
| They get a kick out of... | ||
| Being antiquated to the level of difficulty. | ||
| You know why people had maps? | ||
| Because it was fucking hard trying to follow the falcon as it went down the road. | ||
| No, so we created a map. | ||
| And now you went from a map... | ||
| This is your bit, I think, actually. | ||
| What? | ||
| About the whole, you know, oh, now you're going to go back to, you know, when you were living in some fucking dirt hole and you discovered you had a bathtub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Look at how much of an advancement technique. | ||
| This is wonderful. | ||
| I'm going to have my baby in a bathtub. | ||
| And then when you go from that, then you have a hospital. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, like, no, let's go back into a fucking... | ||
| A hole full of mud and have a baby in that, because that's natural. | ||
| Yeah, well, that was me making fun of women who wanted to have, like, natural births. | ||
| Like, stupid... | ||
| See, I know when somebody else is... | ||
| Oh, no, I've heard that. | ||
| Oh, that's his. | ||
| Well, it becomes a thing, man, when you're around a bunch of people, you kind of forget sometimes who was the one who said it. | ||
| But it made... | ||
| It's funny, but it made perfect sense. | ||
| Like, it's not... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's nothing... | |
| Okay, having... | ||
| Wanting to have a natural childbirth in some way or whatever, like, okay, I can... | ||
| All right, yeah, I get it. | ||
| You want to be where the baby has the most likely chance of survival. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Babies died constantly. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| So, now we have the ability to keep babies from dying, so why don't we do that? | ||
| So, it's the same thing. | ||
| Like, okay, I understand using a Thomas map or whatever, but that, sorry. | ||
| We have GPS now. | ||
| Now, if you have the Thomas guys, because in case your GPS fails, cool. | ||
| Driving a three-speed truck, that's alright too. | ||
| Drum brakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It still drives, it still stops. | |
| As long as you're aware of what you're dealing with, you're okay. | ||
| I just drove up here in a 69, well, barely drove up here in a 69 Oldsmobile. | ||
| I know what I'm dealing with and I'm okay with that. | ||
| But I didn't drive up here with a fucking Thomas map the whole time trying to do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I used to have a 68442. You used to have a lot of cool shit. | |
| I love that back bumper. | ||
| One of the greatest bumpers in the history of automobiles. | ||
| That giant chrome shiny bumper. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I have this kind of car. | ||
| Because I had a 300c SRT8. Great car. | ||
| It had been rear-ended twice. | ||
| See, I never got any at recs until I got to California. | ||
| I'm on the 605. We get past this fucked up traffic, and I start driving by, and I see a fucked up car on the right, which is why we're all... | ||
| I'm like, fucking California. | ||
| You just can't go a day without having to run yourself into somebody else. | ||
| Like, you're just fucking morons. | ||
| And we speed up, and then it starts slowing down again. | ||
| I'm like, oh, fuck. | ||
| I slow down, stop, and then... | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Right into my back. | ||
| Someone wasn't paying attention. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| And then they managed to fix the car from that. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| I go and I pull the trim off, have all the chrome turned black, and murder out the car. | ||
| It looks awesome. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| I'm going to keep on to this for so many more years, and then I'll finally get a new car. | ||
| I'm leaving at this place at like 2.30 in the morning. | ||
| It's been a good night for me. | ||
| And I'm on Beverly and La Cienega, just parked. | ||
| Four cars maybe ahead of me. | ||
| It's at a red light. | ||
| And I'm just chilling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Like didn't even hit brakes. | ||
| This ranger just plows right into the back of me and just annihilates the back of my car. | ||
| Texting? | ||
| Was he texting? | ||
| I don't know what he was doing. | ||
| He wasn't drunk. | ||
| The first thing I did is I got hit, and at first I thought, oh shit, it was a crazy boyfriend hit me. | ||
| Like, crazy ex-boyfriend, sorry. | ||
| No, no, not that guy. | ||
| In his truck. | ||
| And I looked over, and so I see a truck, and I got... | ||
| Well, the first thing is... | ||
| Doing all this fighting shit that I've been doing, high-stress situations, I know I have way better facilities than your average person. | ||
| Even today, I'm driving in the fast lane at 75 miles an hour, and there's that wall on the 110 on the left-hand side of the concrete divider, and I heard, boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| And it goes out and the car immediately tries to go into the wall. | ||
| But I managed to... | ||
| I'm braking the car. | ||
| I'm applying brakes and feathering it and steering the wheel and keeping it straight. | ||
| I didn't hit a fucking thing, you know? | ||
| You kept it together. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a man! | |
| Like a man! | ||
| Like a man, Josh Barnett! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't fall off that horse. | |
| I rode that bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm talking about. | |
| Then I fucked it. | ||
| Fucked it good. | ||
| And then ate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then ate it. | |
| And then I became buffer and more sexually dominant. | ||
| My prowess, my sperm count went up. | ||
| How long have we been doing this, Brian? | ||
| Almost two hours. | ||
| An hour 45. So, I go and I get hit. | ||
| I look, I see the truck. | ||
| First thing I do, I get out of the car and I jog over to where the truck is pulling over onto the side. | ||
| And then I notice a different truck come over, take a look. | ||
| And I see these two dudes in the car and they're like freaking out. | ||
| Like, oh my god, fuck, I can't believe I just, I can't believe this. | ||
| They're upset about getting into an accident. | ||
| Not drunk. | ||
| At all. | ||
| So they were texting or blowing each other? | ||
| One of the two. | ||
| Maybe both. | ||
| At the same time. | ||
| Texting while blowing each other. | ||
| Texting about how good it felt to be blown. | ||
| This is so awesome. | ||
| So after that, I'm like, you know what? | ||
| I really like the idea of having a nice all-steel car. | ||
| So go ahead and run into this. | ||
| See how that's going to work out for you. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's one thing about those old cars, man. | ||
| They could take a fucking hell of a wallop. | ||
| You can smash into stuff and you know when I finally lose it and I just start going berserk on the freeway and hitting people then this is going to be the vehicle to do it. | ||
| It's definitely better than like a Prius. | ||
| Oh, everything's better than a fucking Prius. | ||
| Isn't that an insult, Kyle? | ||
| Have you seen one of those on the road? | ||
| Have you got a Prius taxi? | ||
| They're the worst because they can't even fit any luggage in the trunks. | ||
| No, it's pathetic. | ||
| But I don't have anything against hybrid technologies or cleaner, safer burning stuff. | ||
| Fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can't fuck with the rumble of a V8. No, no you can't. | |
| And here's the thing, if you want to drive that, go for it. | ||
| You think you're saving the environment by creating a bunch of fucking shitty batteries that are going to pollute something somewhere, then alright, whatever. | ||
| Conflict minerals from Congo. | ||
| Yeah, so anything designed that it's all a fucking scam. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| There's been ways, I'm sure, that you could have the most fuel-efficient gasoline-powered car that we have no idea because every one of those things has been shelved on purpose by the oil companies themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure. | |
| Because what good would it do you to have to buy less gas? | ||
| This is probably a car that can run on water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We probably have that already. | ||
| So anyhow, you see these Priuses and it's okay, but It has no soul. | ||
| Hybrid cars have no souls whatsoever. | ||
| I've driven a hybrid car and I'm like, well, you know what? | ||
| It drives. | ||
| It's a car. | ||
| It's fun and it does what it needs to do. | ||
| But I feel like I'm in a soulless, lifeless box. | ||
| And you spend so much time, especially if you live in L.A., behind the wheel. | ||
| I want to drive something that makes me feel good about being in it. | ||
| That makes me get out of bed in the morning and go to get in my car and be like, God damn, if you were a chick, I'd totally hit on you. | ||
| And that's the 69 old that does that? | ||
| Well, it's a grizzled girl, I'll tell you that. | ||
| But she knows her way around the block. | ||
| She's a bar whore with no teeth. | ||
| She's smoked about 687,000 cigarettes in her life. | ||
| Now she talks with one of those little microphone dealies in her neck. | ||
| It's got personality. | ||
| The car is not perfect, and that's fine. | ||
| It's mechanically sound. | ||
| And it runs great and it's fun. | ||
| Trying to explain the appeal though. | ||
| It's... | ||
| Of like one of those... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Having... | |
| Like a V8 engine feel. | ||
| It has... | ||
| You turn the car over and it's... | ||
| It's got a sound. | ||
| It's like, hey, what's up? | ||
| I'm here. | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| What are we doing today? | ||
| What do you want to do? | ||
| Want to run some shit over? | ||
| Want to go fast? | ||
| What do you want to do? | ||
| No, we could just hang out. | ||
| Let's fucking get on the road. | ||
| It's a completely different experience than a Corolla. | ||
| Even though a Corolla is a very nice car, can get you where you want to go, it's lacking that. | ||
| It's something that was captured in the creation of those cars. | ||
| These cars are steel and they're solid. | ||
| They're meant to last a very long time. | ||
| And there are touches in terms of Comfort and of just style that are so, that are stupid. | ||
| Like you didn't, that's obnoxious. | ||
| You didn't have to create little emblems that some little fucker had to paint himself and then put them on the inside of the interior. | ||
| Like no one's ever going to pay attention to half of that shit, but they did it anyways, you know, and they're like sinking the lights in in a certain way and having to put chrome around that bezel and going the extra mile, like the extra 30th mile that You're not going to get in a car nowadays and be in that kind of... | ||
| It's like going into those old buildings and seeing all those touches that they put into the flooring, into the mantles and... | ||
| You're getting that, but in a vehicle. | ||
| You can tell the difference between a factory just churning out some four-wheeled mobile to get you wherever and somebody, even a factory line, where people are putting these things together. | ||
| Do you appreciate technologically advanced cars like a Nissan GT-R, for instance? | ||
| Oh, the Godzilla? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it's amazing they can make an over 4,000-pound car run that fast. | ||
| I don't think it's quite that heavy. | ||
| I think it's 3,900, 3,850. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's heavy. | |
| It's very heavy. | ||
| Four-wheel drive, zero to 60 in less than three seconds. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's unreal. | ||
| And then it'll do it in such a way that what my racer friends will tell me, that almost any idiot can get behind the wheel of that car and learn to be fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In fact, some folks have been like, don't get one of those. | ||
| Well, I'm like, I'm not just sitting on 80 grand that I'm going to go run out and buy a car with, but okay, why not? | ||
| And they go, you're going to get bored. | ||
| It's going to be awesome, it's going to be this and that, and then eventually it's like, there's no fun in this. | ||
| It doesn't... | ||
| Well, it doesn't scare the shit out of you. | ||
| It doesn't come out. | ||
| It does everything. | ||
| Yeah, it does everything and it does it all well and it takes all the efforts and a lot of the skills out of learning and adapting to a vehicle and it takes it away. | ||
| Well, you can take all that shit off. | ||
| You can shut off all that shit. | ||
| You can shut off all that electronic control and treat it like you're on a racetrack and then it'll scare the fuck out of you. | ||
| You can go sideways on that car. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure you can. | ||
| Yeah, you just have to shut off all those stability systems. | ||
| I love the car. | ||
| I think it's one of the coolest cars on the road. | ||
| It's almost ridiculous to get anything else. | ||
| If you wanted to get a car that goes fast, that car, not only does it go fast, it's like the most advanced technological achievement as far as what we can do today to get you to go fast and safe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the most technologically efficient. | |
| That costs three times as much. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| But then, I was talking to somebody about the difference there is, okay, that GT-R will do it, but when you get in that GT-R and you look around and it is comfortable and it's got everything you need, but if you get in that Ferrari, all of a sudden things, it's not, okay, the Ferrari isn't maybe quite as fast, or maybe it's as fast, but you look at the way it was put together and the way the leather is. | ||
| Well, they're made by hand. | ||
| Oh, I mean, there's a huge difference there, and I would The trouble with a Ferrari is I would love to get behind the wheel, which I've never done, and drive the shit out of one and treat it like the thoroughbred that it is. | ||
| I'll totally treat it like a whore. | ||
| Yeah, dirty bitch. | ||
| Shizz all over her face. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| It's too expensive. | ||
| You do that and all of a sudden the bill shows up for changing oil breaks and if you don't have the nomenclature that says you had it all done then the value starts going down. | ||
| That's just too fucking much. | ||
| Which is also why I bought a 69 Olds Cutlass that is not a super special one. | ||
| It's not super pretty. | ||
| It's not perfect. | ||
| So when it gets dinged Oh well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, whatever. | ||
| Well, that's one of the things I've always said. | ||
| There's something to be said for, like, a Corvette ZR1. It's like, what they've done is just blown everything out of the water as far as, like, performance, as far as zero to 60. It's right up there with every other car that's ever been made. | ||
| 60 to zero. | ||
| Stops quicker than any car that's ever been made. | ||
| It's got one of the most ridiculous Nürburgring times. | ||
| But it's like, you know, the interior is It's not that good. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| But look, put all that shit aside. | ||
| The fucking speedometer works. | ||
| You hit that gas pedal, that's a real engine, bitch. | ||
| That's a 638 horsepower V8 that sounds like hell. | ||
| It sounds like the fires of hell. | ||
| In World Challenge Road Racing for SCCA, there's a team for Cadillac. | ||
| And those fucking CTSVs. | ||
| Oh, those are ridiculous. | ||
| They start rolling around the track. | ||
| They sound bad as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just, they sound like, even if they don't take first, they at least let everybody know that they were there. | ||
| It's a beastly fucking car. | ||
| And if you, those CTSVs are ridiculous. | ||
| Like, you can't believe you're in a four-door sedan that's a Cadillac. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whale! | |
| They're like 560 something fucking horsepower. | ||
| Essentially the same engine. | ||
| It's a detuned version of the ZR1's engine. | ||
| And just hauling out. | ||
| So you can get in a wagon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can stick your kids in the back. | ||
| It shows the G-Force on a wagon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| We live in an awesome time as far as what's possible today. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think cars have come to such a different level. | ||
| I love my GT500, my 09. It's such a badass car and my sponsors and everybody have helped me to make it even more gnarly. | ||
| I have a GT500. I have a 2011 convertible. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Fucking great, man. | ||
| Isn't it just an amazing car? | ||
| It sounds so good. | ||
| You can slide the tail out if you want to, you know? | ||
| I mean, it has some sort of traction control, but basically, it's a fucking live axle car. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's really enjoyable. | ||
| Yeah, well, I went and took all that enjoyable thing and then turned it into, like, a murderer. | ||
| Oh, what'd you do? | ||
| Well, I put a Whipple supercharger on it, so it's 686 rear wheel horsepower. | ||
| I got KW and BMR for suspension. | ||
| I braced the whole fucking thing up. | ||
| I have coilovers all around it. | ||
| Do you get wider tires? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| HRE is supposed to make the wheels for the car. | ||
| I'm just waiting on somebody to step up on the brakes because it's going to be in the Optima Ultimate Streetcar Challenge this year. | ||
| I got a one-piece aluminum driveline from Lethal Performance and all this different stuff. | ||
| I had somebody drive the car. | ||
| I took the rear seats out of it. | ||
| I pulled all the rear stuff out. | ||
| I had this little deal set in. | ||
| I've got to put a roll cage in, honestly. | ||
| And I'm still taking weight out of the car and doing the thing. | ||
| But it's still got the stereo in it. | ||
| It's got everything. | ||
| I put these amazing Recaro seats in the front. | ||
| It's super comfy, and I've got this Magnaflow exhaust all through it, these three-inch pipes, and every time I turn the car over, I mean, I know that my neighbors are just like fucking rattling. | ||
| Yeah, it's loud as shit. | ||
| Well, just the stock exhaust in the GT500 is fucking amazing. | ||
| Now it's ridiculous. | ||
| Oh, it's one of the greatest sounds ever. | ||
| The roar of a good V8 and a great exhaust. | ||
| Yes, and I let this guy drive it, and he goes... | ||
| This car's trying to murder you. | ||
| I go, yeah, pretty much. | ||
| I tell everyone it's a 30-30 car. | ||
| In 30 seconds to 30 feet, some Joe Schmoke is behind the wheel. | ||
| They've wrecked it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because it'll just go out from underneath you. | ||
| It doesn't take anything to blow the tires off. | ||
| Way too much power for those back tires, right? | ||
| Well, kind of. | ||
| Well, the suspension, honestly, leaving the Optima Challenge last year, just watching. | ||
| And I decided to go through Death Valley instead of, and then meet up with the 15. So it's just stretches of just empty road. | ||
| And I've got this little EVAP problem right now. | ||
| I've got to sort that out. | ||
| So I like to put the car in limp mode, so I can't stomp it. | ||
| I can roll into stuff. | ||
| I think it'll cruise at 140, flat as fuck, and if you go into a 55 mile an hour corner at 120, it just rolls right through it and comes right back out. | ||
| I mean, this suspension from KW and all the chassis and bracing shit from BMR just has this thing rocked on the ground, and I took it to this guy out in West LA, and this guy Tom. | ||
| I can't remember the name of his shop, but at any moment you could have like $11 million worth of cars all sitting around this place. | ||
| It looks like a dump and you don't even know it's there. | ||
| But he's fantastic with doing suspension and tweaking these cars out. | ||
| And they set it up for my weight and everything and dropped it and lowered it and set all the suspension geometry. | ||
| They set it for your physical weight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're a heavier guy? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you have to adjust for that 250 pounds sitting in the driver's seat and how that affects suspension. | ||
| So do they have an asymmetric suspension? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Like one side is at a different height or something? | ||
| Yes, slightly. | ||
| To keep it balanced. | ||
| You know how to basically just have your fat ass sit in there and then fucking adjust it. | ||
| And they take the measurements and then do the adjustments as need be. | ||
| And my cat, my buddy Chris from KW, and he works with all the drift guys like Daya Shahara and all them and sets their suspensions up and everything. | ||
| Comes up with tricks, different ways of doing it. | ||
| What is the whole drift movement? | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| Why do people like to go sideways in cars? | ||
| Basically, well, one, because it looks cool. | ||
| Right, it does look pretty cool. | ||
| It looks fucking cool. | ||
| I think I would call drift the combination of stunt driving and racing. | ||
| Because they have to go fast enough through it. | ||
| It's not just about going sideways, because they do it in those tandems. | ||
| So the idea is to try and match. | ||
| And get as close and as tight and to emulate the guy's run in front of you as tight as possible without hitting him, hitting the wall, hitting anything else, and doing it as fast and as skillful as possible. | ||
| So I look at it and I'm like, it's just like a violent auto ballet. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That's a funny way of looking at it. | ||
| Events are really fun too. | ||
| So they've got like DJs and it's like a huge party the whole day long. | ||
| A violent auto ballet. | ||
| A violent auto ballet. | ||
| And how do they judge? | ||
| It's based on like... | ||
| They judge on speed. | ||
| They look at the speed. | ||
| They look at how... | ||
| Now they have these clipping point things. | ||
| So they've got these lights that'll monitor up if you get within a foot of them. | ||
| So they measure how close you get to these clipping points. | ||
| They also measure how closely you hit the right apexes and lines for the drifts, but also how closely and tightly you follow the guy ahead of you, the lead car, as the follow car. | ||
| So a lot of crashes? | ||
| There's a decent amount of whack in this stuff, yeah. | ||
| I mean, but they're not catastrophic. | ||
| Most of their body panels are tied on with zip ties, so they just fucking rip right off. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| On purpose to make it lighter or easier? | ||
| Because if you have all these fucking Zeus fittings all over the place, locked in there and it gets torn. | ||
| Instead, now it just breaks at some little spot and falls off real easy. | ||
| So instead of tearing, like, a whole bunch of fairing off of the car or something, it just tears off a little... | ||
| Like, the bumper rips off, and you can go ahead and fix that real quick and zip it right back on again. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| So they've sort of, like, altered them to deal with the constant collisions. | ||
| And, like, there are some amazing moments where... | ||
| Someone's coming up against a wall, and they're getting that back end out, and they get so close that the back end hits the wall just enough to fold it in, and when they come off, it pops back out. | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| You literally ran your car into the wall, but just enough that it was still okay. | ||
| Well, one day, every car is going to be like a GTR, where everything is calculated. | ||
| They're going to see things coming and break. | ||
| Except it's not going to go that fast, and the government's going to tell you where to drive. | ||
| That's going to be a real problem, isn't it? | ||
| You know, I had heard something about, I don't know if this is a true story, I never really researched it, but someone was driving really fast on the highway, and the cops called, what is it, OnStar, and they shut the car off. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| I think that is. | ||
| Is that really possible? | ||
| See, that seems to me to be... | ||
| I mean, I'm not for people getting away from the cops. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| But I am not also for the fucking Skynet shutting your car off. | ||
| No. | ||
| That drives me nuts. | ||
| It's like, if you have a problem... | ||
| One thing is to deal with the problem. | ||
| The other thing is to take it so much further that all of a sudden everybody's freedoms are impiged. | ||
| That's not okay. | ||
| I'd rather have to deal with cops chasing somebody down, even if it ended up in my house getting ruined because of it, than having... | ||
| A big brother able to make everybody do everything the way they want to every time. | ||
| Yeah, absolute power corrupts, absolute power. | ||
| And I was talking to this gal and she's going, oh, I would love it if cars started driving themselves. | ||
| They were talking about that magnetic system where they had the cars following in traffic and stopping and slowing down and reducing accidents. | ||
| And I think safety is great. | ||
| Life is dangerous. | ||
| Period. | ||
| We die every day. | ||
| That's part of the fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Cormac McCarthy talked about everything is about games in this book, Blood and Marine. | ||
| And he goes on about how games. | ||
| Men love games. | ||
| Boys love games. | ||
| But the thing about a game that makes it more important or less is what's at stake. | ||
| So war being the ultimate game because death is at stake. | ||
| And that is the ultimate wager is life. | ||
| And It's true. | ||
| If there was no consequences for a lot of the things we did, there wouldn't have any meaning. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Getting into the ring and fighting somebody with no consequence of injury or death or whatever wouldn't It wouldn't hold nearly as much interest. | ||
| It wouldn't have the same meaning behind it. | ||
| MMA has to be very careful because if samurai fighting starts becoming really popular and dudes start actually sword fighting, then people aren't going to watch MMA as much as they're going to watch sword fighting. | ||
| I think there's a whole collection of sword fighting videos right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I think it's, you know, with cocks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Do you think that there's a... | ||
| Do I think that I could do well in that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You mean like that movie with Lorenzo Lamas? | ||
| Was there a Lorenzo Lamas movie where they fought with swords? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a Lorenzo Lamas movie where it's like Night of the War or the Hunter or something. | |
| He's fighting with swords. | ||
| Is that possible for us to go back down to, like, the Romans and the Christians and the Lions and all that stuff? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| Not yet? | ||
| But anything's possible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Look at the way that government is today versus the way it was, say, in the 50s or in the early 1900s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Much more intrusive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
By far. | |
| Much more power. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By far. | ||
| Or just look at... | ||
| How radical tastes may change in terms of what content you'll see on television versus what you would see, let's say, even in the most risque part of the 20s or 30s. | ||
| Technology, of course, always has a lot to do with that. | ||
| You have cameras that anybody can use to shoot. | ||
| Of course, it's much easier to make porn than it was back when you had an Edison machine or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, you actually had to wind up. | ||
| Yeah, you got to have a good strong arm and you got to have coordination to jerk off and wind a wheel all at the same time. | ||
| But if you just turn into regular advertising, it's amazing that there aren't just men jerking off on corners everywhere they go because there's so much sex being thrown at you all the time. | ||
| It's the best way to sell things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And how much we can get away with in terms of flesh and provocative whatever. | ||
| And we see these things as being, and I don't have anything against any of this, but back in the 30s, people would have an aneurysm. | ||
| That's unthought of, to see something like that. | ||
| And just, things progress. | ||
| Now, could things progress to where people are really sword fighting? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I suppose so. | ||
| We'd have to have a few natural disasters, but I think it could happen. | ||
| If people wanted to sword fight... | ||
| Shouldn't they be allowed to? | ||
| I think they should be allowed to. | ||
| If they choose to do it, yeah. | ||
| If they choose to do it. | ||
| If people want the ultimate contest. | ||
| It's not like if they don't do that, they're going to live forever. | ||
| They're a temporary being. | ||
| If you choose to go out that way... | ||
| Actually, as a Highlander, I have to sword fight to live forever. | ||
| That's the only way, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| There could be only one. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Josh Barnett, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| This has been a fun podcast, dude. | ||
| Thank you very much, brother. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great time. | |
| I hope to come back on. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| And when... | ||
| So you said about three months before people can look forward to seeing you back in action. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, I got good... | ||
| Three months before you can go back into hard training? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hard to say. | ||
| I got a follow-up on Friday. | ||
| But I mean, I've got good range of motion in it. | ||
| But I do want to take... | ||
| I know that that's going to take a little longer to cut this back open. | ||
| And I don't like surgery. | ||
| I don't want to get cut open. | ||
| I don't want to go under... | ||
| But I just think in the long run, it's going to be a lot better. | ||
| So you have to do that soon, and then you have to recover from that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And, you know, I'm even looking into, like, there's, like, what can they do for bone density, you know, nowadays? | ||
| And, I mean, this is my livelihood. | ||
| I need to make sure that this shit doesn't happen again. | ||
| Yeah, what can it? | ||
| I was asking online about Makawaras. | ||
| Is there any fucking... | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Those karateka, they could punch just about anything. | ||
| There's Chinese iron palm techniques and these people work on it. | ||
| It seems like it would condition your hands. | ||
| Makawara, those guys had giant knuckles and it seems like that would help a little bit. | ||
| I've seen documentary of the dude, he hits a little piece of steel every day. | ||
| Kung-Fu dude. | ||
| And it's legit, man. | ||
| The guy, he doesn't feel anything. | ||
| Are you going to look into doing something like that? | ||
| Yeah, that and like, you know, what forms of calcium or whatever. | ||
| And there's supposedly something called Forteo out there, which is a bone density drug. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They give it to women with osteoporosis with high likelihood of fracture. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And it might be able to, like, a healthy person jack up your bone density? | ||
| I suppose. | ||
| I mean, the thing is we're losing bone density every day. | ||
| Yeah, that is a problem with getting older. | ||
| We're fighting the power, man. | ||
| We're fighting it. | ||
| Slowly. | ||
| Every cell that we have in our body is constantly being attacked and it will degenerate over time. | ||
| You can't live forever, but while you're here, you'd like to be able to use it as much as possible. | ||
| How old are you now, man? | ||
| Thirty-four. | ||
| Thirty-four. | ||
| How much longer are you thinking of me throwing down? | ||
| Until I can't. | ||
| Until you can't. | ||
| Until I can't. | ||
| Until the fucking wheels fall off. | ||
| Yeah, bloody my hands so the last breath will be torn from me. | ||
| This isn't the only amount of time you have in your life to do this, and fighting is me. | ||
| Fighting is absolutely a part of who I am. | ||
| Violence is a part of my life. | ||
| I've got a lot more to me than that, but being in the ring and being in war, that's what I'm made for. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who say that, and you go, okay, dude, keep convincing yourself. | ||
| When you say that, Josh Barnett is telling the fucking truth. | ||
| That's exactly what you feel. | ||
| That's exactly what you mean when you're saying it. | ||
| You're 100% committed and convicted to it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| And I told someone the other day, I go, when I go to the ring, I'm already dead. | ||
| I go to the ring as a dead person. | ||
| I have no feelings. | ||
| I have no emotions. | ||
| I don't care about anyone. | ||
| I don't care about anything. | ||
| I don't care about my life anymore. | ||
| I don't have it. | ||
| I have a little set list of songs I listen to in my hotel room before I go to... | ||
| A couple tears might fall from my eyes without any sound. | ||
| Just out of nowhere. | ||
| And I know that those tears are for the life that I no longer own. | ||
| That it is gone. | ||
| I am dead now. | ||
| I have mourned my life and it is no longer existent. | ||
| I am... | ||
| This. | ||
| This is me right now. | ||
| I'm walking the life of a dead person and the only way to go is to go out there and let's go to the death. | ||
| I have nothing to lose because I have nothing anymore. | ||
| There is nothing. | ||
| I feel nothing. | ||
| I care for nothing. | ||
| Well, in the middle of that, it's got to be the most intense feeling of all time. | ||
| When you're in the middle of a cage, like in your last fight, the most recent one with Cormier, and you guys are both throwing down and you both had broken hands at that point in time. | ||
| It's got to be one of the most intense and realistic forms of struggle on earth. | ||
| It is, but unfortunately, that's where it's great, where your corner man can give you that input to aim your direction. | ||
| Because I got in there, broke my hand, made a couple, fucked up a couple times in there, and then all of a sudden I went into fight to the death mode. | ||
| But it's not a fight to the death. | ||
| It's a fight for five rounds. | ||
| If you don't finish it in five, chances are you're going to lose. | ||
| So... | ||
| Didn't really... | ||
| I mean, yeah, people look at you like, oh, you're like blowing blood out of your nose and just, you know, you're coming at people and never stop coming forward and trying to murder. | ||
| I'm like, right. | ||
| But in front of three judges, a referee, and five rounds, it didn't work. | ||
| So... | ||
| I got paid less and, you know... | ||
| It's still a learning process. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Always to the end, right? | ||
| I mean, and I know that... | ||
| Yeah, it is a learning process. | ||
| But I know that for me, being like that, feeling that way, that's... | ||
| There's days I feel it, most of the time, I feel like that's the way I really am. | ||
| That's when I strip off everything that society has imparted on me and imparts on me, pushes on to me. | ||
| I throw it all away. | ||
| And I tell you what, feeling... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like you're dead is pretty free. | |
| You really feel free. | ||
| You've never appreciated life more when you've already given it away. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, it makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's as intense as things can get. | |
| There's no other way, right? | ||
| I mean, that is as intense. | ||
| There's nothing other than actual war itself, you know? | ||
| There's nothing more intense. | ||
| No, and it also, I think, you know, you start getting to that, it's like the, I'm going to try and do something, you just do it. | ||
| If there's something that must be done, you do it. | ||
| You just do it. | ||
| And you can, you know, everything doesn't have to always be to the level of, I'm the Walking Dead and I don't have any emotion or feeling anymore. | ||
| I had a girl I was in love with break the living shit out of my heart as soon as I had to go off over to Japan. | ||
| I had pro wrestling matches to do and stuff and I'm destroyed inside. | ||
| I'm totally ruined and I'm giving press conferences and shit like that. | ||
| They need to see a hero, but inside I just feel like a piece of shit. | ||
| I feel terrible. | ||
| And I'll go out there and wrestle a match. | ||
| And I had to wrestle a match in front of 12,000 people and make it look amazing. | ||
| And I did. | ||
| And we fucking tore the house down. | ||
| But it was like, you know what? | ||
| You feel like death right now. | ||
| You feel like the lowest form and your heart is so broken. | ||
| Nobody paid for that, so it doesn't really matter how you feel right now. | ||
| You have this in front of you, and this must be accomplished. | ||
| Anybody may excuse you for circumstances, but that's, no, sorry. | ||
| There really is no excuse. | ||
| There is only the result, and only whether you do it or you don't. | ||
| What's it like for you to see guys that you came up with, guys like Pedro Hizzo, that have reached pretty much the end? | ||
| And you see the end, and do you take a mental account? | ||
| I'm going to start wearing headgear in training even, because I'm tired of getting hit in the head by fucking some of the monsters that are in there, and I know that... | ||
| Part of the reason I try to read as much as I do and I do want to be a more well every day that I have a chance to be a better person and learn more and be have a broader sense of this world at large is necessary it's important I think that's part of my not just right as a person to do so but I think it's a necessity like you should have to do that It's also to stave away the effects of that kind of shit, | ||
| of dementia and whatever. | ||
| I mean, I'm getting hit in the head in practice constantly. | ||
| And then I go in the ring and I get hit in the head some more. | ||
| And it damages your brain. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| Some people are more susceptible to the side effects of it, of catching pugilist dementia and becoming punch drunk. | ||
| But I know that there have been times where I find myself trying to catch a word and I'm like, I don't know why. | ||
| I can't think of that right now, but that's... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe it's because I'm getting hit in the head by Eric Prindle, who's like 300 pounds. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, why not? | ||
| Just save that brain so that I can use more of it. | ||
| I'm still going to be getting hit in the head no matter what headgear I have on me, but I don't want to take things to the point where I've made... | ||
| A disability for myself mentally or physically with fighting. | ||
| Do you think you'll be able to discern that? | ||
| I think if I'm honest, I will. | ||
| But when I watch guys like Pedro, he can't take a punch like he used to. | ||
| Part of me feels bad when... | ||
| I do feel sad for... | ||
| Where they're at now compared to where they used to be. | ||
| But I'm also more so happy that they are here on this earth, loving their life, still being able to exert themselves in the ring and be a part of this. | ||
| And if they decide to retire, or when it comes to that point they need to retire, that they did it. | ||
| That they had the opportunity. | ||
| They lived that life. | ||
| They took those experiences into themselves. | ||
| And they can stand there in front of anybody and go, I did this. | ||
| I made my mistakes. | ||
| I had my successes. | ||
| I did this. | ||
| I did it with everything I got. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| You can't take any of that away from me, ever. | ||
| It's all mine and I earned it. | ||
| And that's beautiful. | ||
| Powerful wisdom from Josh Barnett, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| And with that note, that's the end of this podcast. | ||
| That's the real end of this podcast. | ||
| This is the first time we ever did a podcast like this. | ||
| For folks listening, this is going to sound weird. | ||
| It might sound a little different because we're using a totally different setup. | ||
| We had some sort of electrical shortage and Brian got zapped in the face with a fucking lightning bolt! | ||
| I wish I could have seen that. | ||
| Yeah, it was a white spark. | ||
| Too busy trying to run my car into the fucking divider wall on 110 North. | ||
| Well, there was a lot involved in making this podcast happen, but it did happen. | ||
| So thank you very much, sir. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| Thanks again to our sponsors. | ||
| Thanks to The Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Click on the link for The Fleshlight. | ||
| Enter in the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| Thanks to... | ||
| It's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real. | |
| It's our sponsor. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Thanks to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, the 5-HTP supplement. | ||
| I take shrooms myself. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| That's not even a joke. | ||
| Cordyceps? | ||
| You take that? | ||
| Cordyceps and just a whole mushroom blend. | ||
| Yeah, I do too. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Mushrooms are very healthy. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of really healthy mushrooms. | ||
| We also have kettlebells and battle ropes all for sale now. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com. | ||
| And if you use the code name ROGAN, you will save 10% off all supplements. | ||
| So go get some. | ||
| Thank you, Josh Barnett. | ||
| That's the end. | ||
| Good night, you dirty bitches. | ||
| Oh, follow Josh on Twitter. | ||
| It's Josh L. Barnett. |
Export Selection