Jan. 3, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:34:57
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and then enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| It is an excellent alternative to masturbation without it. | ||
| I recommend it. | ||
| Brian, do you recommend it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it a lot. | |
| It's awesome. | ||
| I'm using it right now. | ||
| It comes in different shapes. | ||
| You can get buttholes, mouths, you can get whatever you're down for. | ||
| Even like vampire mouths. | ||
| Oh, that hurts. | ||
| Go get some. | ||
| Alien mouths or alien vaginas, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need an Easter Bunny flashlight. | |
| Ew. | ||
|
unidentified
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It needs to look like a bunny's vagina. | |
| Just cross the line, fella. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| With, like, real rabbit hair on it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ooh. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Or the fake rabbit hair. | ||
| Like, when you see those rabbit foots that truck stops that are so creepy, it looks like there's, like, a hard bubble gum in the middle of it. | ||
| My buddy was a cop in San Francisco, and he found a, uh, uh, this guy had a sheet, a Chinese guy had this sheet over his lap, And my buddy goes, something's going on with that fucking sheet. | ||
| And that guy's parked in a weird place. | ||
| And that's weird. | ||
| And he found that the guy was fucking a chicken. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| A live chicken. | ||
| He was fucking a chicken. | ||
| Let's start with your mom. | ||
| What went wrong in your childhood here? | ||
| Did you fuck it in the egg hole? | ||
| Did you fuck his... | ||
| Yeah, he's fucking poultry. | ||
| I guess that's where you fuck a chicken, right? | ||
| In his egg hole? | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| Oh, I never thought of that. | ||
| In the egg hole? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Gross! | ||
| I never even thought of that! | ||
| I didn't even know where he would fuck a chicken. | ||
|
unidentified
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There's like straw inside of it. | |
| That's exactly right. | ||
| When is his website dedicated to dudes who fuck chickens? | ||
| There's got to be enough people who fuck chickens out there to start a movement. | ||
| Have you seen Nick Schwartzen's bit on that? | ||
| He goes, man, before the internet, if you had a fetish, it must have sucked because you had to feel people out. | ||
| You'd be like at dinner and you'd go, hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom, or I could just piss on your face. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| It's so funny, man. | ||
| You know the story about the documentary Zoo? | ||
| It was based on those guys in Seattle that would go and have sex with animals? | ||
| There were zoo files. | ||
| You didn't know this? | ||
| Wait, how to buy a zoo? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was just called Zoo, and it was about zoophilia, if that's the correct way of pronouncing it. | ||
| It's people who are attracted to animals, and they would go, and in Washington State, it was legal. | ||
|
unidentified
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Real hot shit. | |
| Up until this movie, until this documentary came out. | ||
| This guy died. | ||
| He got fucked to death by a horse. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I've heard about that. | ||
| Yeah, I've told you about this. | ||
| I know I have. | ||
| I've heard that the guy got... | ||
| They brought him to the hospital. | ||
| He had bled out. | ||
| And then the people that brought him in all got arrested. | ||
| And they said, what the fuck's going on? | ||
| And somebody cracked. | ||
| And then they took him back to the barn. | ||
| You can't crack in that situation, dude. | ||
| You gotta go, I don't know, man. | ||
| Stick to your guns! | ||
|
unidentified
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He was trying to jump over his fence post or something. | |
| Yeah, the thing for Eclines. | ||
| You can't tell the truth. | ||
| You can't tell. | ||
| You go to jail for fucking a horse? | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| But you bring a dude to the hospital and his asshole's bleeding and there's some kind of sperm all over the place. | ||
| I have no idea who he is. | ||
| They didn't clean his ass, I'm sure. | ||
| Once that thing blasted in him. | ||
|
unidentified
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His chicken hole. | |
| The whole thing is just so crazy that there was hundreds of hours of footage of this stuff. | ||
| And they found each other on the internet. | ||
| You know what they find with a lot of people like that? | ||
| They have an inability to feel as deeply as a lot of other people. | ||
| So they have to go extreme. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| It's a term for like a banality. | ||
| There's a pathology where you essentially are numb to most of what goes on. | ||
| So they found this serial killer in England. | ||
| He was a doctor. | ||
| And he had, when they found out he was doing all kinds of terrible things, in fact, I think he was the guy they did, they based Silence of the Lambs on, the guy, you know, he ate people. | ||
| And they found that he had fucking, like, 25 pins in his testicles and a bunch of hat pins in his anus. | ||
| He was sticking them all the way to his anus. | ||
| And they were like, you know, when the psychiatrist found that it was because he couldn't feel anything, and he had to do that just to feel something. | ||
| Like, he always walked around numb. | ||
| And so the only way to get kind of a rush was to stick, hey, hey, he's a doctor, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Hey, doc, I got a pain in my balls. | ||
| He was a doctor in England. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
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You don't need a doctor to get alpha brain, Joe Rogan. | |
| We're still doing commercials. | ||
| This is the beauty of the organic commercial. | ||
| Anyway, go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for the fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, 15% off, bitch. | ||
| Also, we're brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. | ||
| Did I ever give you any of that shit? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did you enjoy that shit? | ||
| I didn't really feel a big difference, but then again, I don't know. | ||
| I only took two pills. | ||
| Just once? | ||
| You didn't try it for a while? | ||
| Yeah, just once. | ||
| You didn't feel anything? | ||
| You don't know? | ||
| I mean, it's hard to tell. | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
|
unidentified
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I had a lucid dream, Joe, that somebody broke into my car. | |
| I want to know, if I take Shroom Tech, what helped my dreams? | ||
| Because my car got broken into and somebody took off with my car and it ran outside. | ||
| I'm like, eh, fuck this. | ||
| I'm not going to chase these. | ||
| You took Shroom Tech, you think? | ||
| It caused that dream? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But then I was lazy in my dream. | ||
| I didn't want to chase a dream car around. | ||
| I was like, no, I'm not motivated enough to chase a dream car. | ||
| But when it comes to the... | ||
| If you examine the statement, the efficiency of your brain. | ||
| So your brain would work more efficiently than otherwise. | ||
| I would imagine that if I were to put you in a life and death situation or if I were to put you in a situation where that really counted, your brain would work better or at least more efficiently or at least more alertly Then would your brain if we were just sitting around shooting shit, right? | ||
| So you should play chess in Iraq. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| Well, when you're playing, you know how those guys play cards and they let a bull loose? | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| You ever seen that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the guy who gets up from the table to last is the winner. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that makes my dick hurt just thinking about it. | ||
| That is the craziest shit in the world. | ||
| But, you know, the reality of consciousness is that we have ebbs and lulls, and we have moments where we can't remember things, and we have, where the fuck did I put my key moments? | ||
| Well, you have your days where you're, you know, whatever your connection, whatever the full symbiotic connection of things that's going on to make your mind function work. | ||
| A lot of that, they think, has to do with hormones, too, right? | ||
| Sure, that's definitely part of it. | ||
| So when you have an insulin overload... | ||
| Apparently that can cause, sugar can cause, too much sugar can cause sort of what they call clouding of the brain. | ||
| I never used to believe that sugar is bad for you until as I got older I started looking like more. | ||
| I love sugar. | ||
| I love like delicious like chocolate cake and shit. | ||
| Yeah, which is fine once in a while, but if you look at the literature. | ||
| Not fucking good for you at all. | ||
| It's like drinking. | ||
| It's like getting hammered. | ||
| There's a guy named Robert Lustig and another guy named Scott Conley, both doctors, and another science writer named Gary Taub, who wrote a couple of great books. | ||
| One is Good Calories, Bad Calories, and another book that was a follow-up to that book, which is a shorter book called I Think What Makes Us Fat or Why We Get Fat. | ||
| And through 20 years of research and more, and by the way, Barry Sears, who was, I think, a scientist over at MIT who was one of the pioneers in time-release drugs, and he also wrote The Zone. | ||
| Well, if you look at all their research, and these guys are on a clinical level, and they're looking at what happens to your body, they're trying to measure things like inflammation in the body, which is very difficult to do, but they're doing all these things. | ||
| What they found is that insulin, which is this mother hormone, is directly related to a lot of health issues. | ||
| So when you look at athletes or you look at people trying to be healthy, the idea is to eat foods that keep your insulin somewhat neutral. | ||
| Because otherwise, when you eat foods that oxidize as sugar, glucose in your system right away, you run into a host of, you can measure that there are a host of health problems And so, a guy like Robert Lustig just came out with this long hour and a half speech that he gave somewhere. | ||
| And Gary Taubes kind of conferred in the New York Times saying, he said, I think sugar is a toxin. | ||
| I don't think it's bad for you. | ||
| I think it's a toxin. | ||
| Which is kind of a radical thing where you go, well, come on, man. | ||
| So he said, yeah, so the soda you give to your child is doing your child harm. | ||
| It doesn't just rot the kid's teeth. | ||
| It's doing the child harm, and here are the host of reasons for it. | ||
| And if you actually look at the literature, and then more importantly, if you look at what athletes are doing, and especially Olympic athletes, they stay away from sugar for the most part. | ||
| It's a smart move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Staying away from sugar does make your body feel different. | ||
| There are natural sugars that your body can use, and sometimes your body needs a glycogen, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway, Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Yeah, by the way, I don't know where I got my degree. | ||
| Hey, everybody, listen to Brian Callen. | ||
| Yeah, I'm talking about sugar, by the way. | ||
| Listen to Brian Callen. | ||
| Listen, there's probably some... | ||
| Let's talk about pepper, guys. | ||
| I know it's not good for you. | ||
| We have AlphaBrain, which is the cognitive-enhancing supplement, and there's also... | ||
| Shroom Tech. | ||
| And Shroom Tech comes in two forms. | ||
| It comes in Shroom Tech Sport, which I don't recommend unless you're like a real serious workout fiend. | ||
|
unidentified
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Would that have helped me in my dream, though? | |
| I don't know, maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
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Would I have chased that car and been able to catch that burglar? | |
| Maybe you would have had some extra endurance in your dream if you were on Shroom Tech. | ||
| Imagine if there was some shit that you could take that could specifically charge your dreams in a certain direction. | ||
|
unidentified
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Shroom brain. | |
| You know what? | ||
| One of the things in alpha brain that they believe is making people have such vivid dreams is B6. Yeah. | ||
| Apparently vitamin B6 gives you some pretty fucking vivid dreams. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| And that's in alpha brain as well. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's called alpha tech. | |
| But if you're having vivid dreams, doesn't that mean you're getting REM sleep, which is the sleep you need? | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| I mean, yeah, you need REM sleep, but I believe there's a deeper cycle than REM sleep. | ||
| I don't believe REM is like the deepest cycle of sleep. | ||
| But when you dream, isn't that when you're having the deepest sleep? | ||
| But that's in REM sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As far as they can, you know, I mean, who knows? | ||
| You might dream in the deepest states as well. | ||
| They just can't figure it out. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I don't really understand how they can figure out exactly what the fuck is going on in your head. | ||
| I guess it's electrical signals or something. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're getting better and better at that, but I don't know. | ||
| It's crazy shit when you really stop and think about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You shut off for eight hours a night. | ||
| You just sort of accept it. | ||
| You just disappear. | ||
| Yeah, some people, not many, but some people can recharge in four hours versus eight hours, which is really weird. | ||
| And they think maybe that's correlated to testosterone, too. | ||
| People with higher testosterone sometimes need less sleep. | ||
| That's why I only sleep about an hour a night. | ||
| He was always saying that. | ||
| Arnold was always saying that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah, I only sleep a few hours a night. | ||
| Why would you want to do it? | ||
| That's the best. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's the best. | |
| Just up fucking all the time. | ||
| I have no time for sleeping. | ||
| Your register is about that. | ||
| Look at my watch. | ||
| It says, time to give someone dick. | ||
|
unidentified
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Time to. | |
| Anyway. | ||
| As we say with all of our products at Onnit.com, what else did I leave out? | ||
| Oh, New Mood, which is the 5-HTP supplement. | ||
| 5-HTP and L-Tryptophan. | ||
| There's a bunch of other things in it as well. | ||
| And it gives you... | ||
| A nice little serotonin boost. | ||
| And the Shroom Tech Immune, this is the new one, and as far as I understand it, the way it works is that it's a different mushroom, and this mushroom gives your body the impression that it's under attack by like a bug, you know, like a cold or something like that. | ||
| So your immune system fires up for an attack that never comes. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| So it just boosts your immune system up, yeah. | ||
| It's called Shroom Tech Immune. | ||
| Anyway, and as I say with all of these things, The ingredients are available on Onnit.com. | ||
| Go to O-N-N-I-T. And if you think it costs too much money, if you have any sort of argument about pricing, go buy it in the cheapest form, steal the ingredient list, and make it yourself. | ||
| You can do it, and you probably will save money. | ||
| And good luck to you. | ||
| The most important thing is I don't want anybody buying anything that doesn't want to buy anything. | ||
| If you don't want to, that's totally cool. | ||
| If you buy it and you don't like it, you get 100% money back. | ||
| So, it couldn't be any possibly fair. | ||
| Like, you don't even have to return the product. | ||
| If you don't like it, if you try any of this stuff, and it doesn't work, just say it doesn't work, I want my money back. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| And I can't make it any easier. | ||
| It's trying to make it as neutral and as honest as possible. | ||
| But I enjoy all these supplements. | ||
| I use them. | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
| And go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for AlphaBrain, enter in the code name ROGAN, and you will get 10% off. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Or don't even buy it. | ||
| And your own podcast. | ||
| Podcast. | ||
| Podcast. | ||
| And here's my podcast. | ||
| Ready to start right now. | ||
| Hit it! | ||
| That wasn't really a hit. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
|
unidentified
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Podcast by night. | |
| All day! | ||
| What is that weird effect that you always do at the end of that where you make it all wonky? | ||
|
unidentified
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I know. | |
| Why do you do that? | ||
| I'm taking drum lessons and I was trying to play that riff. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah! | |
| Dudes that would play drums at a diner and be serious about it. | ||
| How about the guy that would bring his drumsticks places? | ||
| The greatest. | ||
|
unidentified
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And stick them in his back pocket with a bandana. | |
| Just play with his drumsticks. | ||
| I just got drumming in my blood. | ||
| Well, Brody would do it, but on stage. | ||
| Brody's a really good drummer. | ||
|
unidentified
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He is. | |
| He would carry those sticks around all the time. | ||
| Part of his act, yeah. | ||
| Brody would get up on stage and have chairs, put chairs up there, and do like a fucking drum show. | ||
| I've been in the band. | ||
| I'm in the band. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| I'm an honorary member of Don Barris' air band. | ||
| Well, I didn't know that there was a whole Don Barris air band. | ||
| It's called the Barris Kennedy Overdrive, first of all. | ||
| Second of all, I play 32 different air instruments, one of which is the baby. | ||
| I take a baby out and I blow on its stomach and then I throw it into the audience. | ||
| That's one of the things I do. | ||
| I play the harp, I play the cello, I play the violin, and I play the 13-year-old Filipino boy. | ||
| And that's when I sodomize him. | ||
| What? | ||
| No, he's 17. 13 is a... | ||
| That's not right. | ||
| It's 17, which is legal in some states. | ||
| And I mock, sodomize a 17-year-old Filipino boy as he screams, that's part of the music. | ||
| So they all play drums. | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| At 2 o'clock in Comedy Store, Don Barris, he's the last guy to perform every single time, and he has the Barris-Kennedy overdrive. | ||
| And they play music, and he has an air band up there. | ||
| He lip-syncs. | ||
| Brody plays the drums. | ||
| And then he's got various guitarists. | ||
|
unidentified
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Tony Hinchcliffe. | |
| Yep. | ||
| And then I, when I'm there, I get up and I'm a guest performer. | ||
| And I start with the guitar and I'm also a guest singer. | ||
| And then we play like five, six songs and it's all air instruments. | ||
| But I have my own air instruments. | ||
| I play humans and I play... | ||
| Fucking, you know, things that most people don't. | ||
| Don't you have a job? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| My girl is really happy when I come home at 3 in the morning. | ||
| She's like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I'm like, the band was playing late. | ||
|
unidentified
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She's like, you're in your 40s, you fucking loser. | |
| Get away from me. | ||
|
unidentified
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I always feel like that after watching that, too. | |
| Just watching it. | ||
| Like, I'll go there and be like, why am I here at 2 a.m. | ||
| watching an air band at the comedy store? | ||
| It's always like seven alcoholics in my four comics. | ||
| And we play like we're playing for... | ||
| Is it entertaining? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| For me! | ||
| For me! | ||
|
unidentified
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It's really fun to watch. | |
| Don Barris is so hilarious. | ||
| I want to get him to do it at the Death Squad soon. | ||
| Don Barris is one of the funniest people in the world nobody knows. | ||
| That dude kills me. | ||
| He's a great personality, too. | ||
|
unidentified
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He's great. | |
| I always enjoyed hanging out with Don Barris. | ||
| We do a sketch every single time we see each other. | ||
| Every single time. | ||
| Yeah, he's one of those guys. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| You could just start something up with him and he would just go with it. | ||
| He'll be talking. | ||
| There's all these people and I go by and I go, hey, Dan, I don't want to embarrass you in front of everybody, but I need my money. | ||
| I need my money. | ||
| And he'd go, what? | ||
| I go, look, man, I'm sorry, but it's been a month now. | ||
| I really need to see my money. | ||
| He'll owe me 10 grand. | ||
| He goes, you embarrass me in front of all my friends like this? | ||
| I go, look, I don't want any trouble. | ||
| He goes, the fuck over here? | ||
| And he slaps me on my knees and then he mock mouth rapes me and bites. | ||
| And then I beg him as he's doing it. | ||
| I'm going, don't go in my mouth! | ||
| Don't go in my mouth, please! | ||
|
unidentified
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He's like, shut the fuck up! | |
| He didn't take it! | ||
|
unidentified
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And I'm like, no! | |
| No! | ||
| And he's like, fuck! | ||
| How close are you getting mouth to his dick? | ||
| I'm right up against his dick! | ||
|
unidentified
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Get the fuck out of here! | |
| It's all about the fucking sketch! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Your mouth is on his dick! | ||
|
unidentified
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Get the fuck out of here! | |
| Strike two, Joe. | ||
| And then he dumps in my, he mock dumps in my mouth. | ||
| Oh my. | ||
| And then he pushes me away and I lie there in the fetal position. | ||
| And everybody around us doesn't know what the fuck just happened. | ||
| And then he just kind of pretends to zip his pants up. | ||
| And he goes, sorry about that. | ||
| And goes back to his conversation. | ||
| Has he ever gotten a little hard? | ||
| Uh, not that I know of. | ||
| But then it's all a blur for me. | ||
| So what do I do? | ||
| I just commit to the sketch. | ||
| How many times have you done a sketch? | ||
|
unidentified
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Mm-mm. | |
| No more than 50, 60 times, to be honest. | ||
| I like to limit myself. | ||
| No more than 50. Every single time I see him. | ||
| Every time you see him. | ||
| So every time you see him, you've run up to him and shoved your mouth on his couch. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no. | |
| Every time I see him, I go, I just ask for my fucking money that he owes me my 10 grand. | ||
| Oh, there's different results. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then Oh, I see, I see. | ||
| And then first he'll either beat me up and then fuck my mouth. | ||
| And then I beg him not to drop a nut. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And you know, he's so committed and it looks so real. | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus! | |
| And people actually think something like that is going on as I'm begging him. | ||
| How many times has your mouth touched his dick? | ||
| Dude, no more than, I mean, this is a stupid question. | ||
| Look, I'm a straight man. | ||
| Maybe 30 times, 40 times. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck, why I'm being grilled. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'll get some video of it. | |
| Why do I have to be, you gotta get video on it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, I want to slow it down. | |
| Because people think we're serious. | ||
|
unidentified
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Because I go up casually, I go, I act like I'm a little afraid of them already. | |
| I'm like, Don, I don't want to bother you, but you know, I need my $10,000. | ||
| It's been a month. | ||
| He goes, he's like, what'd you say? | ||
| I go, I need my money. | ||
| He goes, you're going to embarrass me in front of all my friends like this? | ||
| I go, no, I'm not trying to embarrass you. | ||
| I just need, I really need the money. | ||
| I'm having trouble paying my rent. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, dude, you say, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| And he pushes me away. | ||
| And then I come back and ask him a second time. | ||
| So might as well do it that way. | ||
| And then he's just fucking had it. | ||
| And he just slaps me to my knees and mouth raves me. | ||
| I'm a grown man, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| How did I not know this about you? | ||
| It's called comedy. | ||
| How did I not know this about you, though? | ||
| Dude, he's so much fun to do bits with. | ||
| Was this all comedy store stuff? | ||
| All comedy store shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When did you start doing this? | ||
| How many years ago? | ||
| Like four. | ||
| Yeah, that's when I stopped going there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| This is post me at the comedy store. | ||
| That's all we do, dude. | ||
| That's all we ever did there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Have you ever had a man's finger in your asshole? | |
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I have had a man's thumb in my asshole, and I think I told that story last time I was on a Rogan podcast. | ||
| Yeah, you don't remember? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, I thought that I was just... | |
| The Jimmy Burke story. | ||
| Yeah, it was a thumb. | ||
| Yeah, he told that story. | ||
| Made out with a tranny and had a... | ||
| Is he reading this off Twitter? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, I'm not. | |
| I'm looking. | ||
| Look what I'm looking at. | ||
| I'm just spaced out. | ||
| I was like, wait, was he the one that got... | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Sorry, I do a lot of podcasts. | ||
| There was a bunch of other stories as well. | ||
| He was also the same guy. | ||
|
unidentified
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So every time you come here, you bring us a new story that involves getting man raped. | |
| A new story that involves gay shit. | ||
| By the way, by the way, I don't know. | ||
| By the way, forget all the gay stuff. | ||
| Are you aware of where... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was simple. | |
| Guys, let's drop the gay shit. | ||
| Listen, guys, nobody cares about that. | ||
| It's getting personal. | ||
| I don't want to talk about how many times my mouth is about. | ||
| 30, 40, whatever. | ||
| All of a sudden, you guys are a bunch of purists. | ||
| I'm offering up this information. | ||
| It's not like I'm trying to hide it. | ||
| You suck 40 cocks and now you're gay. | ||
| I don't think it's anything. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| You are aware, I hope you are aware, I don't know if you watched the Nat Geo thing called Great White Invasion, I believe it's called. | ||
| You know that the Santa Monica Pier has a large concentration of great whites swimming between the pylons. | ||
| You aware of that? | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh! | |
| Oh, you didn't know that. | ||
| What a good way to get us off the gay subject. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| The opposite sharks. | ||
| My two favorite topics. | ||
| They got missiles pointed right at them, bro. | ||
| My two favorite topics are dudes getting tricked into blowing guys and animals that can kill you. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sharks. | |
| That's me all day. | ||
| So how many are we talking about? | ||
| How many sharks? | ||
| Well, at one point they were tagging them and what they found was they would follow them after they would tag them and they were all coming into four and five foot deep water at the Santa Monica Pier. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's crazy. | |
| And all around there where some of the largest concentration of great whites at any given time can be. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Now... | ||
| Largest concentration of great whites in the country? | ||
| Or in the world? | ||
| It can't be in the world, right? | ||
| I think it's called great white invasion, okay? | ||
| They don't know why they're coming so close to the shore, but shark ecologists think that's a good sign. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
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Seems like a slaughterhouse for homeless people. | |
| Dude, they stalk seals. | ||
| Here's what's fucking incredible, okay? | ||
| There are great whites, and if you take a helicopter ride over Malibu, you can YouTube it right now. | ||
| Just go, great white Malibu. | ||
| And you'll see a helicopter shooting a website thing. | ||
| And there was like an 18-footer just swimming around just about, you know, I don't know, a quarter mile, less than, it was probably an eighth of a mile offshore. | ||
| You know, let's call it 300 yards offshore. | ||
| That shit happens all day. | ||
| And by the way, they are eating seals all the time. | ||
| Surfers are always in the water. | ||
| They know you're in the water and they don't fucking bite you because it's got to be the perfect storm. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What the fuck ever. | ||
| Whatever, it's got to be the perfect storm. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's called an 18-foot fish that takes 100-pound bites. | ||
| The one that freaked me out the most. | ||
| I go into the water up to my ankle. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| My feet stay white. | ||
| My body's bronze. | ||
| I went in Hawaii last summer, and I freaked out a little bit while I was in there. | ||
| I was snorkeling. | ||
| And I was like, what am I doing? | ||
| I'm going to be one of my own jokes. | ||
| I'm going to get eaten by something. | ||
| It's fucking stupid. | ||
| I was down in West Palm Beach, and I was staying at this place called the Amfi, this really great resort. | ||
| And I asked one of the guys, he was parasailing. | ||
| And I go, any sharks out there? | ||
| And he goes... | ||
| Oh yeah, dude. | ||
| He goes, oh yeah. | ||
| Oh no, there are times, certain times of the year they put flags, that purple flags, you can't swim because the bull sharks, they're all migrating this way. | ||
| And then you got the spinners and they'll bite your hand and feet. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| He goes, oh yeah, dude, they're all over the place. | ||
| He goes, I don't know why people swim in this water. | ||
| They're crazy because I'm always kite surfing and I stay on my kite surf, dude. | ||
| Meanwhile, check out how many shark attacks have been in Palm Beach. | ||
| There was one summer where there were like eight shark attacks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Like, biting your leg off. | ||
| Bull sharks. | ||
| Well, the bull sharks are so crazy, they'll go way, way inshore. | ||
| They'll go into fresh water. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| They can survive in fresh water. | ||
| 200 miles up the Mississippi. | ||
| Yeah, they found them near Illinois. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| In fresh water. | ||
| Fucking bull sharks. | ||
| Fucking sharks, man. | ||
| Well, you know the story that inspired Jaws? | ||
| That was based on a river attack in New Jersey. | ||
| It was based on one summer where these bull sharks were jacking people on a river. | ||
| It wasn't a great white. | ||
| They went great white for Hollywood when Peter eventually turned it into a... | ||
| But I'm pretty sure that's what he was inspired by. | ||
| I remember it was like this aberration where they were being... | ||
| They found them way far upriver, man. | ||
| There was one of those Monster Quest shows where they had freshwater sharks. | ||
| One of them was the reality. | ||
| That was a fun fucking show, even though they never found any monsters. | ||
| Well, that's the point of that show. | ||
| They got me every week. | ||
| Even piranhas. | ||
| Piranhas don't eat you. | ||
| I always thought if you jumped in the water with piranhas, you got eaten. | ||
| If you're living, they swim away from you. | ||
| They don't eat you. | ||
| The only time a piranha will actually eat you is when they're starving in little mud pools and you put your hand in there and they haven't eaten. | ||
| They've eaten everything else there and they're starving. | ||
| They'll bite your hand. | ||
| Or if you look sick, they'll eat each other. | ||
| Actually, they even put a duck in there, a live duck with a bunch of piranhas. | ||
| Piranhas swam away. | ||
| You know I used to have piranhas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, don't listen to that nonsense. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| They'll eat anything. | ||
| It was called Death Row. | ||
| You had the goldfish on the other side and you called it Death Row. | ||
| Yeah, that's Death Row. | ||
| I had two tanks. | ||
| I had a tank filled with piranhas and then a tank filled with goldfish. | ||
| And they had to swim around. | ||
| The goldfish would just swim looking at what they were going to be. | ||
| Their future. | ||
| Yeah, their future. | ||
| They would fuck those goldfish up. | ||
| It was wild to see, man. | ||
| Yeah, they'll eat fish, I guess. | ||
| Really wild to see. | ||
| They don't just eat fish, bro. | ||
| They'll eat anything. | ||
| There's videos of them. | ||
| I never fed them anything other than goldfish, and that's just what they're natural. | ||
| It's natural for them to eat fish, but I got tired of it. | ||
| It's too creepy. | ||
| I mean, it's like it is a part of the food chain and everything, and it's life, and it's natural, and it's just the way it works out in the wild. | ||
| I mean, animals eat animals, and that's just the way it goes. | ||
| But there's something about just watching this slaughter every couple days in my house. | ||
|
unidentified
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Put a rat in there. | |
| You gotta look fucking morose, man. | ||
| I fucking had a Burmese python and I used to have a feed at rats. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| And you have to stun the rats. | ||
| You take them by the tail and you throw them against the wall. | ||
| Oh, dude! | ||
| And I just felt bad after a while. | ||
| I was like, I gotta kill this great... | ||
| You know, rats are kind of cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because you can't just let it in there, otherwise the rat will fight back, right? | ||
| Yeah, and then sometimes the snake gets bit. | ||
| But here's the other thing. | ||
| Here's the other thing. | ||
| Snakes are fucking boring. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| They just sit there and I guess they slither. | ||
| They're creeps. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'd rather have a rat than a snake. | |
| Burmese pythons are fucking mean! | ||
| My mind got to be eight feet long and the thing was like, it would try to bite you every time you stick your hand in there. | ||
| I was like, keep this fucking thing. | ||
| Yeah, those are creeps. | ||
| Those are monsters, man. | ||
| They're monsters that get used to you touching them. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| It's called a reptile. | ||
| Yeah, they never give a fuck about you. | ||
| No, they don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| Yeah, people are weird, man, with their connections. | ||
| Hey, you know that? | ||
| How about that guy who swims with... | ||
| He's got a Costa Rican crocodile, 17 feet long, and raised from a baby and swims with it. | ||
| I've seen that crazy asshole. | ||
| That's the craziest shit in the world I've ever seen. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| That's a fucking Costa Rican crocodile, 17 feet, and he swims with it. | ||
| Those are saltwater crocodiles, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Those are the big ones. | ||
| Those are the brackish water. | ||
| They will eat you. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Now, I don't believe you could do that. | ||
| Costa Rican crocodiles, and I've done the research, they are way more timid than most crocodiles. | ||
| What? | ||
| A Nile crocodile. | ||
| You couldn't do it with. | ||
| There's no fucking way because you are as tasty to a Nile crocodile as any food source they have. | ||
| It's because Costa Rica is so beautiful. | ||
| Even the crocodiles are chill. | ||
| Even the crocs are chill. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's hilarious. | |
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| They're actually a little shy. | ||
| They're shy crocodiles? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Whereas, good luck with a fucking Nile crocodile. | ||
| Good luck raising that thing. | ||
| It's amazing that there's animals like that that essentially serve... | ||
| I mean, they must have survived that big asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Yucatan one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Must have. | ||
| They had to have. | ||
| They are dinosaurs. | ||
| They're older than that, right? | ||
| They're virtually unchanged for more than 100 million years. | ||
| When they found that, they found this one skeleton of this huge crocodile where the skull itself was six feet long. | ||
| Yeah, I heard about that one. | ||
| And it was basically, if you look at the anatomy of the animal, it was no different than a real crocodile. | ||
| Just a giant one. | ||
| Back then, animals were huge that it had to eat, too. | ||
| Yeah, an ambush predator. | ||
| Well, the zoologist, I just did a Raiders show, and the zoologist was on the show in fucking Fort Lauderdale, right? | ||
| And the guy's been to Africa 35 times, he's a documentary filmmaker, and he said, he goes, dude, I was in Rwanda, and I watched a giraffe drinking, and a croc come out, grab that giraffe by the head, pull it into the fucking water, drown it, and twist its head off, and then its friends came in and ate the rest of that fucking giraffe, so nobody's safe, okay? | ||
| And by the way, you know what else ain't safe? | ||
| Baby elephants. | ||
| When they stick their tusk in the water, they'll grab that trunk and drown it. | ||
| They'll eat elephants. | ||
| Whatever's in the fucking water. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, did I mention that the ones in Tanzania weigh in at over 2,000 pounds? | ||
| There's a video. | ||
| It's one of those iconic ones where one crocodile jumps out of this water hole and grabs... | ||
| It was a big animal. | ||
| I think it was a water buffalo or a wildebeest. | ||
| Probably a wildebeest. | ||
| They're 350 pound wildebeest. | ||
| They grab them around the fucking midsection. | ||
| And whip this thing around like it was a children's toy. | ||
| You get caught. | ||
| You're brought under the water. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And it happens in a flash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Here's a piece of trivia. | ||
| That's just a part of the world that's going on in the same time as us. | ||
| That's going on right now. | ||
| I mean, we're just not there. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There's a spot where if you step in the water in the wrong spot, a monster that lived a hundred million years ago is going to eat you. | ||
| As I get older, all I think about is different realities of how some people live your fucking worst nightmare and somehow I'm lucky. | ||
| I never lose perspective of that shit. | ||
| Look at history. | ||
| Look at history. | ||
| You know, the fact that we live in a society where I don't have to worry about a Mongol horde coming over that hill killing everybody I know. | ||
|
unidentified
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Not yet, but long as this Obama's in office, I'll tell you what. | |
| You've got to stock up on your office. | ||
| We're going to get down so pussified. | ||
| We ain't going to nobody have guns no more. | ||
| They're going to make it hard to have guns. | ||
| Then they're going to take over. | ||
| By the way, I was going to ask you if you know how big a blue whale's tongue is. | ||
| It's fucking huge. | ||
| It's the size of an elephant. | ||
| God damn. | ||
|
unidentified
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What about his dick? | |
| A blue whale's tongue. | ||
| His heart's the size of a car. | ||
| His dick is giganti. | ||
| I wonder how big his dick is. | ||
| His pictures, they're enormous. | ||
| His pictures are hoisting a whale. | ||
| Well, they're 95 feet long and they weigh 200 tons, I believe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I can't wait for the documentary of the guy that fucks whale cock. | ||
| Wait, what were you? | ||
|
unidentified
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And dies from it. | |
| Yeah, it's probably a guy. | ||
| What were you saying? | ||
| What were you going to ask me? | ||
| I don't remember now. | ||
| He said, were you going to tell me? | ||
| Oh, the Obama thing, the NDAA that just passed. | ||
| They just signed it on New Year's Eve. | ||
| He signed it. | ||
| What is the NDAA? That was the bill that essentially makes America a battleground, officially classifies it as a battleground so the military can come in and stop civil unrest. | ||
| And they can detain people indefinitely. | ||
| They don't have to have warrants anymore. | ||
| That kind of thing won't get through the Senate. | ||
| It got through. | ||
|
unidentified
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It got through everything. | |
| Obama just signed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It got through everything. | |
| It's done. | ||
| Touchdown. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| First of all, the use of military is supposed to be strictly prohibited. | ||
| We don't want to ever consider that our people are the enemy. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's the de facto difference between the FBI and the CIA. The FBI deals with domestic issues. | ||
| The CIA is supposed to deal with foreign issues. | ||
| And by the way, you're never allowed to spy on your own citizens. | ||
| There's a very, very specific reason for that very strong separation between a foreign power service, a foreign service, and a domestic service. | ||
| Yeah, when you get to the point where you're just automatically opening up to the idea that you can't trust anybody, that everybody must be able to be scanned and stopped and searched. | ||
| Well, we were talking... | ||
| Before the podcast of a book that I'm reading now, and I've read some of his other books, Leon Uris is considered one of the great writers. | ||
| Leon Uris? | ||
| What's his first name? | ||
| U-R-I-S. And Leon Uris writes historical novels. | ||
| And if you ever want to learn history, you know, whenever you say to somebody, well, you should learn the history of Ireland, the problem with that is that how do you, you know, a lot of young people, I get, like, texts after I do these things or tweets, and they say, hey, can you give me a reading list or whatever? | ||
| And the problem with educating yourself today is it's very hard to know what to read. | ||
| It's also very hard if I say, well, you should educate yourself on history. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Do I pick up a book on history? | ||
| I mean, Jesus, who wants to slog through that? | ||
| No. | ||
| If you want to learn about history, if you want to learn about a history of the Middle East, you want to learn a history of Ireland, you want to learn a history of the founding of the State of Israel, which I'm reading now, a book called Exodus. | ||
| If you want to learn about Ireland, read a book called Trinity. | ||
| If you want to learn about the Arab world, the Middle East, read the Hajj. | ||
| Leon Uris is a guy who was a foreign correspondent, Who spent a great deal of time all over the world and happens to be a fucking brilliant writer. | ||
| He wrote most of his books in the 70s and the 80s and I think even the 60s, but he's considered a great writer. | ||
| And the point I'm making is that when you talk about how a society and its laws and its government can sneak up on you, if you read Exodus about what happened to the Jews in Poland and in Germany, You're talking about a group of people who lived there for 700 years, and many of them were very well established in all fields, whether it was science, academia, the arts, and things like that. | ||
| So when all this anti-Semitic behavior started occurring under Hitler's regime, and it started really in, like, 1933, Where stores are being broken in, articles being read about blaming the Jews for everything, people were being dragged out in the street and beaten up. | ||
| The majority of the Jewish people who were established in those societies were like, look, I go back generations. | ||
| I'm a German. | ||
| I'm as much a Jew as I am a German. | ||
| And by the way, I've written several books and my roots are in this society. | ||
| If you ever told any of them, That, well, your government's going to come round up all of you, all of you, and I'm going to give you some numbers in a second, and they're going to kill everybody you know, and worse, they're going to gas, torture, and starve them all in a systematic way in concentration camps. | ||
| That was a true apocalypse, and if you don't know anything about the Holocaust or World War II, then you're remiss because it's the worst event in recorded history, but it's also very important to study because you don't understand and can't fathom The depth of human evil until you see that. | ||
| Because here's what it was. | ||
| It wasn't mad men. | ||
| It was very rational, cool-minded men with shaved cheeks who sat in a room dressed in medals and in suits who came up with something called the final solution, which was to kill every single Jew in the world. | ||
| And they almost did it. | ||
| And in Poland alone, out of 3.1 million Jews who'd been there for 700 years, mostly in ghettos, but who had deep roots and huge contributions to that society and Germany, at the end of World War II, and this is just five, six years, there were 50,000 left. | ||
| All of whom were wretches, all of whom were starving, all of whom were coming out of the concentration camps like Birkenau, Auschwitz, Treblinka, and all these things. | ||
| So if you really think that you're safe, or if you really think that giving anybody power over you, Is a good idea. | ||
| Is a good idea. | ||
| You're fucking wrong and you should pick up a history book. | ||
| And what makes this country very, very special and what you have to fight for is government by the people, for the people. | ||
| And that's very easy to forget. | ||
| And even George Washington said, you've got to be careful because people will invent laws to take their own power away from them. | ||
| That's what George Washington said. | ||
| And it is very human. | ||
| And if you look at anybody in power, I don't care if it's Republican or Democrat. | ||
| This is why I'm a Ron Paul supporter, because if you look at anybody in power, when you're in power, you have an impulse to try to solve a problem. | ||
| You want to solve a problem. | ||
| And the only way to do that, government does what? | ||
| It passes laws and it grows and it taxes. | ||
| Taxing and passing laws are two coercive measures. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| And you do need some laws. | ||
| You do need some taxation. | ||
| Let's be honest. | ||
| But when you have a central authority like that, the big question for anyone is, who is going to govern the governor? | ||
| Who is watching the governor? | ||
| That's the central question of political science. | ||
| Who is going to govern the governor? | ||
| Because it has to be. | ||
| You can't have someone be on reproach. | ||
| And the answer is who? | ||
| The people. | ||
| That's the answer. | ||
| And they're choking that out on a daily basis. | ||
| Choking that out slowly. | ||
| This is the biggest enemy, and you have to be on guard of that all the time. | ||
| And by the way, it always is under good auspices. | ||
| It's always any society. | ||
| My God, even the Nazis, for God's sake, even the Nazis, that monstrous machine, defined what they were doing along what they would consider moral grounds. | ||
| Hitler was trying to quote-unquote Solve the Jewish problem, etc. | ||
| And the propaganda that had Ukrainians and Poles cheering on those firing squads as they were killing Jews, that's what happens. | ||
| You can poison an entire mindset. | ||
| It's amazing that it's within our grasp historically. | ||
| We can see things. | ||
| We can have photos and video because things like this have happened. | ||
| And they're worse than you can imagine. | ||
| As you read Exodus, and I studied Nazi Germany. | ||
| It was my area of focus in college. | ||
| But if you read that book, and he brings it down to such a personal level, it is the unthinkable and it's the unspeakable. | ||
| And it's almost like it was the first event of that magnitude, a horrific event of that magnitude, where air travel had just become sort of a big player in the way the world functioned. | ||
| Because people could fly over you and drop shit on you. | ||
| Things changed very quickly. | ||
| They accelerated very quickly. | ||
| And it's just amazing that it's all within our capability of recording it and watching it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But here's the big difference too. | ||
| Back then, nobody was watching it. | ||
| Nobody was seeing what was going on in the Russian countryside. | ||
| Hitler said, I want to make part of the Russian countryside habitable for Germans. | ||
| And so what he said is we have to just get rid of all the Bolsheviks. | ||
| Let's just kill everybody who's there. | ||
| Just empty the villages of people. | ||
| So what they would do is they would have these soldiers come in. | ||
| And they would dig these huge mass pits and shoot everybody into the pits. | ||
| That's how bad it was. | ||
| And so at the end of World War II, there were 50 million people dead. | ||
| How do you get that many people to do that? | ||
| How does that happen? | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| Let me put it this way. | ||
| And I believe these are the numbers. | ||
| By 1943 in Birkenau, which was about a mile away from Auschwitz. | ||
| So I'm saying Auschwitz. | ||
| In Auschwitz, let's call it Auschwitz. | ||
| They were probably killing close to 40,000 people a day. | ||
| And the way they would do it is this. | ||
| What they found was that when they brought people in... | ||
| Now is this at a peak? | ||
| Is this a constant steady stream for a long time? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| That's why they were able to kill 6 million Jews. | ||
| And look, let me explain something to you. | ||
| And it's important to fathom those numbers for a second because they're overwhelming. | ||
| The numbers are overwhelming. | ||
| And these are children. | ||
| These are women and these are infants and they all had names and they all had... | ||
| They all had families and they all had connections. | ||
| They were all as human as you and I. And it's very natural for us to kind of say, well, that was a long time ago and they may have looked at life differently. | ||
| No, they had all the same dreams. | ||
| They had all the same hopes. | ||
| They had all the same love. | ||
| They all had all the same bonds. | ||
| And it's overwhelming and too much for your heart to bear if you really think about what human beings have done to other human beings, especially the Holocaust. | ||
| It's why the Holocaust, that word, That word, the Holocaust, which I believe means the Great Fire, or a derivation of that. | ||
| That's why that word is used only for that specific event in history, because they did get burned. | ||
| They did get put in ovens, and all trace of them was washed away. | ||
| Because as the Russians and the Americans closed in on those camps, they had to get rid of all the evidence. | ||
| So they blew up all those gas chambers. | ||
| They burned the bodies. | ||
| They crushed the skulls. | ||
| And they would use other Jews to do it. | ||
| They would make you do it. | ||
| So you'd be 14 unloading bodies out of a fucking... | ||
| Think about this. | ||
| I mean, it's as crazy as it gets, right? | ||
| It's as worse and as depraved as it possibly gets. | ||
| But the way you get people to go about it is two things. | ||
| One is deception. | ||
| One is, and human beings have always done it, And I'll explain why we're living in a world where it's harder to do, but what you do is just misinformation, propaganda. | ||
| You say, hey, guess who's causing all your financial problems? | ||
| A group called the Jews, or a group called the Chinese, or a group called the blacks. | ||
| And by the way, they also kill their own kids and they're subhuman. | ||
| And you take young men who have no education or have been educated specifically and they're full of fire and what they go to war for is to protect what they consider their way of life. | ||
| See, I don't think people go to war for hatred. | ||
| I think people go to war because they're in love with their way of life and they're trying to protect their families. | ||
| They're trying to protect their way of life. | ||
| And that's how you create a real soldier and a dedicated patriot. | ||
| You create a sense of misinformation. | ||
| Young men who are 18 and 19 are not asking questions. | ||
| They're trying to be a hero. | ||
| And if it means having to kill all those bad guys over there, and even their kids and their women... | ||
| Well, their kids and their women are kind of subhuman. | ||
| You always create a subhuman... | ||
| Context for the enemy. | ||
| But the good news in 2011 is that it's becoming harder and harder to do because of the internet and we're all getting closer and closer together. | ||
| And it's easier to kind of empathize with somebody when you see them suffering, when videotape doesn't lie. | ||
| When you can hear their voices and they create political bodies and groups and they say, you know, look, we bleed and we cry just like you do. | ||
| And that's what I think has a lot to do with breaking down These natural, tribal tendencies that human beings have. | ||
| Because human beings are tribal. | ||
| We are tribal. | ||
| Even if you belong to one martial arts school, it's so natural for you to go, yeah, we're better, though. | ||
| Those guys over there kind of, yeah, they're fucking, they do that thug jitsu. | ||
| We do the original, pure. | ||
| You'll find that in anything, right? | ||
| We're tribal. | ||
| And look at teams. | ||
| Look at the nationalism involved in my team versus your team. | ||
| I mean, you know, these big rivalries. | ||
| But the good news is that I believe that, and I may be naive, but I don't think so, that pulling off something as horrific as what happened in the Holocaust would be very difficult, very difficult today, and almost probably impossible because too many of us would go, this is outrageous. | ||
| I don't think it would get as bad as the Holocaust, but I think it's happening right now. | ||
| Well, it happened in Rwanda in the 90s, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| In the Congo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And those places, again, are pretty remote and still haven't, but most of Africa, I can't remember the number, but there are an inordinate amount of cell phones in Africa. | ||
| And during the violence in Kenya recently, people started videotaping soldiers raping women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| And they started tweeting and texting where the concentration of violence was happening. | ||
| So people were able to avoid that. | ||
| So what's happening is just like in Mexico with the drug cartels, people are being empowered by social media. | ||
| And when they see a house where drug activity is going on, they can just tweet it anonymously and the cops go and find it. | ||
| So they don't have to worry about retribution. | ||
| So a lot of these things, a lot of the social media is a really good thing because it's creating, it's truly democratizing power. | ||
| It's really spacing power out. | ||
| And in some ways, it makes for a better place to live. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had to move to Africa? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Could you imagine if something happened, like, America doesn't like Brian Callen anymore, you gotta get out of the country? | ||
| I've been to Africa twice, you know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| What if you had to live there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure there's nice places. | |
| There are very nice places of Africa, but for the most part, you'd probably want to be in the United States. | ||
| What if you had to live in the Congo? | ||
| Could you imagine if... | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, Japan just had another fucking earthquake, by the way, 7.0, like, three days ago. | |
| Where was this? | ||
| I think right offside Tokyo, like, in the water. | ||
| 7.0. | ||
| All this shit makes me wonder, I gotta get ready. | ||
| Do I need guns? | ||
| Do I need to start storing water? | ||
| What do I gotta do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There was an earthquake in Ohio, and they found out, well, there's some controversy that it might be because they're drilling for wells, and that they actually had to shut it down because there was some recent activity from this drilling. | |
| They've noticed that the activity has been higher than normal, and so they shut it down, and then just a little bit of time later, there was a 4.3 earthquake in Youngstown, Ohio. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| They say they can do that. | ||
| They say they can start some sort of minor movements with some hardcore drilling. | ||
| It kind of makes sense if you drill on a fault. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but is that going to fuck it up for good? | |
| Like now is there going to be earthquakes all the time in Ohio? | ||
| Could you imagine if they did? | ||
| If they just, the greedy fucks, if they just drilled a hole in the wrong spot and now it's like the worst fault line ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry! | |
| And you can't really blame them because there's no real science behind them. | ||
| It's really difficult for anyone to prove what caused maybe all these earthquakes were going to happen anyway. | ||
| You wonder, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We actually have a thousand wells that we've done in Ohio and Pennsylvania, and we've never had a problem before. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They drill a thousand gigantic holes. | ||
| A thousand. | ||
| That's so weird, too. | ||
| Ten 100s. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We really got that fault line good, guys. | |
| Just think about that. | ||
| There's a huge aqua fire under those states. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because we have water shortage in parts of this country, but apparently there's a massive aquifer that they say is going to push a lot of industry in that direction. | ||
| What do you mean by aquifer? | ||
| Under the earth, there's a massive natural reservoir of water. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| How weird is it that the earth has all these creepy fucking layers underneath us? | ||
| You know, we're just living on this crust. | ||
| We don't like to think that, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know, they're just right under you, you know, whatever it is. | ||
| Well, you get your water from, what, the Colorado River? | ||
| I mean, this is where the LA doesn't have water. | ||
| Yeah, there's no water here. | ||
| We had to divert water from the Colorado River, and the Owens Valley just dried the fuck out. | ||
| That's what Chinatown's about, where the Owens Valley had all these farmers and this way of life, and they were like, the powers that be came in and go, we need to grow fucking orange groves, and by the way, let's start the movie industry here because the weather's predictable. | ||
| We need water. | ||
| Fuck the Owens Valley. | ||
| Redirect the river over this way. | ||
| And all these farmers were like, my fucking sheep are dying. | ||
| I don't have any water. | ||
| And then they went fucking nuts. | ||
| But they were like, sorry, we have the money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's what happened. | ||
| What a creep move. | ||
| They stole their fucking river. | ||
| Yeah, they dried out a whole fucking valley. | ||
| They stole their water? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that amazing that you could do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You could decide. | |
| You got enough power. | ||
| You could decide. | ||
| All you people that are effects. | ||
| That's when guys had power, like smoking a cigar going, let's just divert the river. | ||
| What do you mean, sir? | ||
| The Colorado River. | ||
| One of the biggest rivers in the country. | ||
| Yeah, let's do that. | ||
| Well, that's how they created that Salton Sea, right? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Isn't that what it is? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I might be talking out of my ass, but I think it has something to do with the Colorado River. | ||
| A lot of Dan's natural lakes in this country were all a result of just figuring out a way to get water to land so you could grow food. | ||
| Yeah, LA is really a ridiculous place to live. | ||
| It's a fucking desert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so stupid. | |
| It is. | ||
| Our water could get taken away at any time. | ||
| And we're just like... | ||
| Yeah, but fuck, it's 73 degrees and breezy all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was 93 when I got here. | |
| Yeah, but I'm down by the beach, so it's always really nice. | ||
| Today was 85 degrees out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was 93 when I was driving. | |
| Jesus, that's insane. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| It was in January. | ||
| I love the heat, man. | ||
| It's a lot better than fucking freezing your ass off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| And I'll tell you what, it's a lot better than black ice and dealing with all the buries. | ||
| Oh, you know, from Boston. | ||
| I went to high school a little bit. | ||
| Fuck that ice theory, dude. | ||
| The wintertime's driving is scary. | ||
| Dude, I remember going to high school up in New England, and the mucus in my nostrils would freeze, walking from one... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll be doing that next Thursday, Joe. | |
| I've been on the highway before and watched it rain and watched the rain just sort of start sticking to your windshield. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| The rain was just beginning to turn into ice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To look like Christmas. | |
| It was just beginning to become icy rain and then the entire road became a skating rink. | ||
| I mean, it was just slide into a ditch. | ||
| Everybody would just wait. | ||
| Have you ever been caught in a hailstorm? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| I was in New Mexico in the summertime and I got caught in a hailstorm. | ||
| Like huge hailstones. | ||
| Oh, New Mexico's got... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| They got legit hail. | ||
| They got hail that they put on YouTube. | ||
| Dude, it's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I had golf balls and the whole city had it and everybody's cars were fucked up. | |
| And everybody did the same thing I did. | ||
| It was like, oh, they gave me $1,200 to fix it. | ||
| I'm just keeping the money and buying some Xbox games and stuff. | ||
| So everybody's cars were fucked up for years. | ||
| The dogs got jacked. | ||
| People's dogs got fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, they get killed. | ||
| There's one video that I watched. | ||
| This kid put a video up of it starting, and he didn't know how bad it was going to get because it was so crazy. | ||
| He was like, oh my god, this hail is so bad we had to film it. | ||
| So he's filming it in his backyard, and it's coming down, man. | ||
| You're watching it. | ||
| But then, as he's filming it, it just turns into the preposterous. | ||
| It turns into the end of time. | ||
| It turns into a fucking shotgun of ice is coming out of the sky every second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, his fucking pool is exploding. | |
| Exploding with splashes. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lot of them. | |
| Oh my God, you can't believe it. | ||
| It's the most horrific thought. | ||
| The thought that you could be on your way home from somewhere. | ||
| You're walking home. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How about you got headphones on? | ||
| You don't even know what's happening. | ||
| You get hit with the first ice pellet. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| What? | ||
| Dude, that's what I was talking about. | ||
| Okay, that's the random shit that drives me crazy. | ||
| I don't want to die randomly. | ||
| Like, for example, how about this? | ||
| I told you the story where the couple is driving down the fucking highway and they hit a bear 60 miles an hour. | ||
| Bear goes flying into the other lane and kills the people coming this way through their windshield. | ||
| Flying bear. | ||
| Died by flying fucking bear. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| Can't bear proof your windshield, okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did it happen in West Hollywood? | |
| I saw a dude who had a thing on his car for deer, though. | ||
| When I lived in Colorado, he had this badass fucking battering ram front grill. | ||
| He had a pickup truck, and he was a hunter. | ||
| I think deer kill more people than any other animal, right? | ||
| Oh, they kill a lot of people, man. | ||
| You've got to be really careful. | ||
| They're crazy. | ||
| They have nutty instincts. | ||
| They just leap out in front of cars. | ||
| And I don't think they quite understand something can move as fast as a car. | ||
| Because in nature, I think they get a lot more of a warning than a goddamn car. | ||
| Well, it's also hard to judge because the car is on one level. | ||
| So when it's coming at you on a highway, you can't tell how fast it is because it operates on the same planes. | ||
| Oh, because it's not jumping up and down? | ||
| Yeah, if you look at the way a cheetah runs or a predator runs, they stay on one level, so they're not jumping up and down. | ||
| Whereas a gazelle is jumping up and down, right? | ||
| You can measure how fast they're going. | ||
| But physics-wise, when something is operating along the same plane, it's much harder to judge their speed. | ||
| That's why when you're on a highway and a car is coming at you, you can't tell if it's going 90 or 60 because it's staying at the same level. | ||
| Now, is it an efficiency thing for a cat or something like that? | ||
| More, apparently, more just evolution-wise, it's so the animal that it's chasing can't tell how fast it's coming out. | ||
| It doesn't run according, it just runs, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But the cat looks like it's farther away from you than if it was jumping. | ||
| And it's also harder to see. | ||
| It's also staying low under the foliage. | ||
| There's a cool video of, I guess, South America's jaguars, right? | ||
| It's a jaguar eating a giant rat-like thing. | ||
| A capybara. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it is. | ||
| Have you seen that video? | ||
| Oh my goodness! | ||
| And these dudes filmed it. | ||
| They were in boats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a rat. | |
| It's enormous. | ||
| It's a rat like the size of a big fucking dog, man. | ||
| And this jaguar is sitting there just completely frozen, like not moving at all. | ||
| And the video takes like, it takes four minutes of the jaguar doing nothing until he launches himself on this thing. | ||
| You know, jaguars, which are very big cats, will eat a human right quick. | ||
| The one cat you don't want to be around is a jaguar more than anything else, including a tiger. | ||
| You don't want to fuck around with it. | ||
| Well, you know when people take ayahuasca, that DMT beverage that they take in South America, one of the big visions that people have is jaguars. | ||
| They have a lot of jaguar visions. | ||
| Dude, you know, my buddy works for, like, the Secret Service, you know? | ||
| And you know they get calls all the time because, like, sometimes they'll get their foreign service guys who go in and they'll fucking take, like, they try to mix in with the locals and they'll take drugs and then they'll just end up in the middle of the fucking Amazon or the Congo and they have to get a search team to go find them because they took some fucking drug and there are several stories like that. | ||
| Or how about this? | ||
| How about this? | ||
| The guy during Haiti... | ||
| Not during this earthquake, but there was another disaster back in the 90s when people were trying to emigrate to the States, right? | ||
| And the guy... | ||
| They had one dude, some young dude who was basically at the embassy... | ||
| There's a long line of people trying to immigrate to the US and none of them were getting in, right? | ||
| So you basically just go, denied, denied, denied. | ||
| They had this one young guy who was like a shit assignment there, right? | ||
| And it's hot, there's a fan on him. | ||
| And he started, people kept lining up and he just kept going, he kept going, denied, fucking denied. | ||
| Finally started going stir crazy, right? | ||
| And he had this little, what's that Star Wars, who's this Star Wars character? | ||
| Boba Fett? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boba Fett it is. | |
| Boba Fett, Boba Fett, okay. | ||
| So he had a little Boba Fett doll there. | ||
| And so he started going, he just started going crazy. | ||
| And the guy would come up and he'd go, hold on. | ||
| Sorry, Boba Fett says, uh, denied. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| And he starts doing that, right? | ||
| That sounds like The Beaver. | ||
| That's like Mel Gibson's movie. | ||
| Okay, well, so he starts going, Boba Fett says no, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| All of a sudden, the people started giving him Boba Fett offerings, okay? | ||
| So, like, a week later, Boba Fett has a fucking pile of everything from food to cigarettes, like a whole mountain, like right here, okay? | ||
| Then, a black market starts developing over Boba Fett dolls, Boba Fett costumes, and people started coming up with Boba Fett costumes and dolls and stuff, trying to get in because they thought that was kind of who you had to talk to. | ||
| They figured this guy was, they figured this guy's obviously talking to Boba Fett, and this guy, and he's a Boba Fett fanatic, so we should show allegiance to Boba Fett. | ||
| So people were coming and dressed like Boba Fett and the US Embassy had to be like, alright, we gotta fucking stop this. | ||
| Take that fucking doll out of here right fucking now. | ||
| Because the guy was like, hee hee hee! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha! | |
| Yes! | ||
| More money! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Thank you! | ||
| Thank you very much! | ||
| And Boba Fett says, no, I'm sorry. | ||
| And the guy would be dressed like Boba Fett like, what the fuck? | ||
| It's amazing that that guy got so far. | ||
| That just shows you. | ||
| That was a story that this guy, this foreign service guy, told me about. | ||
| Oh, by the way, my other buddy came to visit me. | ||
| I can't say his name, but he's a CIA guy or something like that. | ||
| I don't know what he does, but I know he's been in Iraq for 10 years in Afghanistan. | ||
| He was telling me about that fucking waste that goes on. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| How about this? | ||
| In Iraq, it's a desert, right? | ||
| They spent $100,000 importing sand for volleyball courts. | ||
| So they brought $100,000 worth of sand in for the volleyball courts as opposed to just getting the sand in Iraq. | ||
| I'm sure you could find fucking sand somewhere in Iraq. | ||
| Nah, let's import it from the states because everybody's got their fucking mouths at the government trough. | ||
| And when you've got a war going on, there's so much money to be made, and everybody does it. | ||
| And it's just a confluence of fucking events. | ||
| And everybody, everybody who goes there, you have a project, you have money, and you want to build a big dam or a power, a big power plant, right? | ||
| It doesn't matter if the fucking Iraqis need it or not. | ||
| What matters is that you burn your money. | ||
| You get judged by your burn rate, okay? | ||
| You have a certain allotted budget and you have to get a fucking huge power plant, whether it's needed there or not. | ||
| The point is to get it done because then you get a promotion or your project is a success. | ||
| And that shit was going on and continues to go on in Iraq for the past ten fucking years. | ||
| The waste. | ||
| It's so outrageous. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's an industry in itself. | |
| And by the way, you know, the Iraqis, do you know how much oil we've gotten from the Iraqis? | ||
| How much oil revenue? | ||
|
unidentified
|
None. | |
| It's all gone into Iraqi coffers. | ||
| This whole thing costs us a fucking fortune. | ||
| And let me go on. | ||
| Let me go on. | ||
| And Maliki is creating his own secret service police forces that report directly to him. | ||
| Does that sound familiar? | ||
| So we fucking take the country apart, and now we're leaving behind Saddam light. | ||
| See you later! | ||
| Thanks a lot, guys. | ||
| He's consolidating power, keeping the Sunnis out. | ||
| So the Sunnis are like, fuck you, we're going to lose all the resources. | ||
| You guys are sitting on all the resources in the South. | ||
| We're going to bomb the fucking shit out of you guys until you come back to the bargaining table. | ||
| Hey, hey, civil war in Iraq. | ||
| It's fucking a tragedy. | ||
| And it's civil war that happened like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| But you know who was calling all that shit? | ||
| A lot of people, including this fucking idiot. | ||
| And I'm an actor. | ||
| And I said, how are you going to stop the Sunnis and the Shias from getting into a war after all this shit breaks down? | ||
| And how do you stop the Shia, who are a majority, from aligning themselves with Iran, our number one enemy? | ||
| Huh, that's weird. | ||
| Wasn't Iraq kind of playing sort of a countervailing force to Iran? | ||
| I'm an actor! | ||
| And I was asking that question. | ||
| I'm an actor! | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I read one newspaper a day. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| And these fucking guys couldn't figure that out? | ||
| So why do you think that our foreign policy is so self-destructive? | ||
| I asked him. | ||
| I asked him that question. | ||
| Obviously, a lot of people are making a profit, but it almost seems like you're burning the farm down. | ||
| He had a great answer. | ||
| He had a great answer. | ||
| Because I said, how much of this is like a group of men, a cabal of evil men, or how much of this is centrally planned, or people have different interests? | ||
| And he said, dude, it's not like that. | ||
| He said, what it is, is there's just a whole bunch of, and I'll give you another example of what's happening now. | ||
| He said, what it is, is there's a whole bunch of interests working, a whole bunch of money to be made, and everybody has a different opinion. | ||
| And some opinions win the day and others don't, right? | ||
| And so the State Department has their own agenda, the executive has their agenda, and everybody has their own agenda. | ||
| But ultimately enough shit starts to be kind of like talked about where you start creating an enemy, you start saying this might be a good idea for the following reasons, and pretty soon there's so much, there's so many sort of, there's so many groups of people that have a vested interest In going in, and usually it's an intellectual interest. | ||
| Usually it's like, I think we can bring democracy to the Middle East. | ||
| And that's a very grandiose idea and a grandiose plan. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, because it's going to make the world safer at the end of the day. | ||
| There are a lot of idealistic people involved in this as well, not just money people. | ||
| And all of a sudden, all this shit starts to come together. | ||
| And before you know it, you're fucking on your way to war. | ||
| And the way he described it made a lot of sense. | ||
| It's like a tidal wave. | ||
| It starts as a snowball, and before you know it, you've got a fucking massive tsunami on your hands of just momentum. | ||
| And there's just so many interests and there's so much movement in one direction that what are you going to do then? | ||
| Call it off? | ||
| No. | ||
| You got weapons of mass destruction. | ||
| He's used them before. | ||
| Let's go take out the fourth largest army in the world because it's not safe. | ||
| And, you know, let's make the world a better place. | ||
| And you get a bunch of people like that who do it. | ||
| And then, of course, you get a lot of people behind the scenes going, we can make a lot of fucking money. | ||
| Boeing, Lockheed, Raytheon saying, dude, they're going to need a lot of weapon systems. | ||
| They're not going to need them, but we can sell them to them. | ||
| It's an amazing thing, too, that once that money starts coming in and coming in in just billion-dollar contract after billion-dollar contract. | ||
| I mean, the amount of money. | ||
| The defense contractors, Halliburton, the cleanup people, all the different people. | ||
| I mean, the amount of money is insane. | ||
| Try asking them to cut it off. | ||
| Dude, how about this? | ||
| Well, not only that. | ||
| $11 billion. | ||
| We have an $11 billion arms deal with Iraq right now, okay? | ||
| And it's about to go through. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Can't give Iran the arms because Maliki is not agreeing to the terms we set for him, which was you have to share power with the Sunnis because we don't want a civil war there and we have a lot of American interest already in Iraq. | ||
| There's a lot of American companies making money. | ||
| Now here's the thing. | ||
| You tell a politician to veto that $11 million arms deal. | ||
| You know how many people that employs? | ||
| You know how many constituents are voting based on the fact that they get a job because of $11 billion? | ||
| You're going to take $11 billion out of the American economy? | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Good fucking luck. | ||
| And that's what happens. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's called money. | ||
| But the money to make shit that kills people unnecessarily. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, we need $11 million. | ||
| We're going to give you $11 million. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, we're going to give that to you, Maliki, so you can create your own army of Shia to keep the Sunnis down, and that's called a civil war. | ||
| Without the military-industrial complex, how much less war would there be? | ||
| I don't know the answer. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's an interesting answer. | ||
| I don't think it's war that you would stop. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think the private sector makes a lot of money off of the decisions made in government, and so there's a profit to be made from war. | ||
| And if that's the case, it does raise an important question. | ||
| If war becomes big business, let me give you another example. | ||
| Iran. | ||
| Iran has a nuclear program, at least we're trying to stop, right? | ||
| We did sell bunker buster bombs to Israel about three years ago. | ||
| Now, what are bunker buster bombs? | ||
| Bunker buster bombs, and these particular ones we sold to Israel, are bombs that can penetrate deep into the earth and take out an arsenal. | ||
| So if you have a nuclear facility that is churning out weapons, these bunker bombs are supposed to go into the earth and blow that fucking facility to smithereens. | ||
| Now we don't want to do it, but maybe Israel will drop those bombs because they know where Iran is making these weapons. | ||
| Do you think that the Americans are sitting back and using the Israelis as a proxy to see if those fucking bunker buster bombs work? | ||
| There seems to be a lot of noise headed Iran's way, it seems to me. | ||
| There seems to be something brewing in Iran. | ||
| They have taken a very aggressive stance with the Gulf, with blocking off oil routes. | ||
| Now, and the U.S. Navy is saying this is unacceptable. | ||
| There's a whole bunch of noise going on. | ||
| It seems to me things are moving in a direction that is not in Iran's favor. | ||
| And let's see what happens next. | ||
| But a lot of money. | ||
| A lot of money. | ||
| We probably gave those weapons to Israel for no pay, but we want to see if they work. | ||
| You know Wesley Clark, the guy who ran for president, predicted all this shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Predicted every single step. | ||
| He lives it every day. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| He sees the fucking waste. | ||
| He sees how much money and what kind of a lobbying power Raytheon and Boeing and Lockheed are. | ||
| You don't think they have massive lobbying efforts? | ||
| There's just too much money at stake. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And they can find a way to justify it. | ||
| It is legal. | ||
| It has been done. | ||
| Employment. | ||
| I'll employ 10,000 people in your state. | ||
|
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It's amazing. | |
| But we've got to build these very important fucking C-130 countries. | ||
| Listen, this is all shocking shit. | ||
| It's all big bummer, end-of-the-world shit. | ||
| How do you fix it? | ||
| Is there a way? | ||
| Is there a way to fix what we've got going on right now? | ||
|
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I'll tell you what Ron Paul would say. | |
| Ron Paul would say, the only way to fix it is to make the government... | ||
| The government that everybody feeds off of and that has a lot of power to make these decisions, you make the government smaller. | ||
| You take away some of government's power. | ||
| I just watched a speech by Ronald Reagan that he made in, I think, 1969, and it's called A Time to Choose. | ||
| And if he made that speech today, Ron Paul could make that speech today And it wouldn't be any different at all. | ||
| He talks about how 37 cents of your dollar is gone to the government before you even wake up in the morning. | ||
| 37% of your day is working for the government, and the government keeps getting better. | ||
| He talks about the war on poverty, and he did a little arithmetic. | ||
| He goes, if we take the money that we spent on poverty, and he takes a list of how many poor people there are, he said everybody should be getting $4,600 a year. | ||
| But it turns out we're getting $600. | ||
| How'd that happen? | ||
| Is some money being lost along the way? | ||
| It was all the stuff that Ron walked on. | ||
| Let's explore that. | ||
| Here's the deal. | ||
| What if you do make the government smaller? | ||
| How much do you keep? | ||
| And then what happens to all those people that used to be government employees that have a career in being government employees? | ||
| This is the biggest problem. | ||
| And by the way, some of those folks are hard-working folks, and they do a great service to the country, and some of those folks are useless. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that are little leeches onto a system. | ||
| For me, yes. | ||
| And for me, it doesn't have to do with being a Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal. | ||
| It has nothing to do with that for me. | ||
| What I look at it as anything big, whether it's a big corporation or the government which has no accountability and is that big. | ||
| I don't understand how you can make that power run efficiently. | ||
| I do see how it can grow, and it keeps growing. | ||
| And that's the threat. | ||
| Like you just said, you just brought up the biggest question. | ||
| What happens? | ||
| How do you make government smaller? | ||
| It has so many vested interests. | ||
| And not only that, it's not just government. | ||
| The private industry is involved in this. | ||
| You're right. | ||
|
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Technology. | |
| Technology. | ||
| Yeah, computers is the right answer. | ||
| Instead of having some asshole in a fucking suit that represents your state, you know, go up in front of everybody and misstate everyone's position, instead of having that, you could have the people actually connect. | ||
| Let me say one other thing. | ||
| You're not alone in your thinking, and the conversation we're having is being had all over the country, in both Democrat and Republican circles. | ||
| This whole Occupy Wall Street movement is in some ways voicing some of those frustrations. | ||
| I'll give you a piece of good news, in my opinion, and a piece of good news that we've never experienced before. | ||
| You hear a lot of people talking about inequality of income, and there is. | ||
| However, we are experiencing, and I'm stealing this from a Wall Street Journal article, so I'm paraphrasing this, but there is an equality of consumption that we've never experienced before. | ||
| Let me tell you what I mean by that. | ||
| Take somebody who's very wealthy, very wealthy, You have a lot more money than I do. | ||
| I do pretty well, but you got a lot more money. | ||
| Your life and my life are very similar. | ||
| The only difference might be that you drive a faster car, but we sit in the same traffic. | ||
| You drive a Porsche, I drive a Prius, but we basically sit in the same traffic. | ||
| But the interior of my car, not that much different. | ||
| I got GPS, I got a great stereo, I got everything I need. | ||
| You wear the same clothing I do. | ||
| I guess you could wear Armani and Versace. | ||
| You never would, and the rest of that is fluff. | ||
| We eat the same amount of food. | ||
| And if you look at most people, and I'm talking about the middle class in this country, including people who are struggling for money and stuff, most people, the average amount for a wedding spent in this country is somewhere around $26,000 a year. | ||
| I mean, $26,000. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| So what we have now is an economy where very rich people invent something. | ||
| Say it's an application or a computer or something that we all use, okay? | ||
| But they don't make any money unless they can generate mass consumption of that product. | ||
| Most of us own a computer. | ||
| Most of us own a cell phone. | ||
| And that cell phone has all kinds of applications. | ||
| Most of us have a TV that allows us to watch pretty much anything we want. | ||
| High-def TVs cost $700. | ||
| The technology that you have in your phone. | ||
| Let's take the old Wall Street. | ||
| The first Wall Street with Michael Douglas. | ||
| He pulls out a Motorola phone that weighs two pounds and cost $3,995 back then. | ||
| Okay? | ||
|
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That brick. | |
| It was a brick. | ||
| And it weighed two pounds. | ||
| And that was for the elite. | ||
| I think it was a little more than that, actually. | ||
| I think it was about $5,000. | ||
| But that was for the elite back then. | ||
| That was what Michael Douglas pulls out a cell phone and we go, holy shit! | ||
| He carries his own phone. | ||
| Nowadays, the difference between... | ||
| I'll tell you, Steven Jobs and I use the same fucking phone. | ||
| Warren Buffet and I use the same phone. | ||
| The only difference between Warren Buffet and me, the only difference is he flies privately. | ||
| But I can fly anywhere I want for under $1,000 anywhere in the world if I get on the internet fast enough. | ||
| So we have an equality of consumption in this country. | ||
| Unlike any time in the history of the world. | ||
| And that's good fucking news. | ||
| Most people, I'm talking about most people, at least have enough to eat. | ||
| They have an ability to contact each other. | ||
| They have an ability to entertain themselves almost the way they want. | ||
| How many people own Xboxes? | ||
| I believe it was last year 60 million were sold or something crazy. | ||
| Xboxes. | ||
| So think about that. | ||
|
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I have seven. | |
| Yeah, so we have access, and we have access to information and inspiration. | ||
| How many people listen to your podcast who don't have a lot of money, but they get inspired, that you turn them on to things that they can afford? | ||
| You know, this is what the good news is about. | ||
| Yes, we may have inequality of income, but we have equality of consumption like we've never seen before, and that's fucking, that's a big deal, and nobody talks about that. | ||
| Well, this definitely isn't the worst time in human history. | ||
| Fuck no! | ||
|
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What? | |
| The great... | ||
| The thing... | ||
| I think what really is killing people is the unrealized potential of the human race. | ||
| That just drives people nuts. | ||
| People that really truly are patriotic. | ||
| People that really truly do have respect and... | ||
| And admiration for the human spirit. | ||
| They believe that there's a much higher level that our society and our culture can achieve. | ||
| And I do too. | ||
| It's not that I'm unpatriotic. | ||
| It's just that I think, God damn, we could do a lot fucking better than this. | ||
| We don't have to be the crooks of the world. | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| We're going to die someday. | ||
| We are temporary beings. | ||
| The way we're doing this is ridiculous. | ||
| The fact that we've allowed these people to continue to operate like this is ridiculous. | ||
| They're not looking out for our needs. | ||
| We shouldn't be playing policemen all over the world. | ||
| We shouldn't have a hundred fucking military bases all over the world. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
|
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I agree with you. | |
| Our military-industrial complex has somehow or another co-opted the entire government. | ||
| And they're forcing people into some shit that the people don't want. | ||
| Even the patriotic people don't want it. | ||
| Very few people think it's a good idea that we stick around in Afghanistan. | ||
| I mean, Afghanistan doesn't even need us. | ||
| We overthrew the government in Iraq. | ||
| We took off and left them in chaos. | ||
| Obviously, right? | ||
| Everything's fucking falling apart over there. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| Afghanistan doesn't have a government. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, they're not even a real country. | ||
| Never have been. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| The idea that we can't leave them. | ||
| Oh, we don't want that to happen over here. | ||
| My buddy, the other guy, the CIA guy said to me, he said, he spent a lot of time in Afghanistan, and he said they were talking to a dude on the border of Pakistan and of Afghanistan, Waziristan, that lawless area. | ||
| The guy didn't know what Pakistan was. | ||
| He lived on a mountain. | ||
| He was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| That's not my reality. | ||
| And you want a guy in Kandahar to have loyalty to the government in Kabul? | ||
| There's never been a tradition of that. | ||
| Never. | ||
| So what are you talking about? | ||
| They're just warlords and tribes. | ||
| And by the way, a corrupt government? | ||
| You think Karzai and his group are looking out for the Hazaras and the Tajiks up in the north? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| How about Karzai's brother, who was a CIA employee? | ||
| The drug runner? | ||
| Yeah, drug runner slash getting checks from the CIA. And guess what? | ||
| They're having a tough time getting people to not grow poppies. | ||
|
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What? | |
| For heroin. | ||
| We'd rather grow cotton and soybean because it's a lot more profitable. | ||
| Somebody made a great point about that. | ||
| I was out there. | ||
| And those fucking soldiers were building hospitals and schools. | ||
| And those guys are brave. | ||
| And I fucking am proud every time I see those guys. | ||
| And a lot of them died. | ||
| And a lot of them got fucking egregiously wounded. | ||
| Is that a word? | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| I think it's the right one. | ||
| But the bottom line is, that's what kills me, is that effort and that fucking... | ||
|
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That these are real heroes that are getting used in the wrong way. | |
| And then we go out there, and you talk to anybody who really knows about the country, including those soldiers who've been there a long time ago, what the fuck are we doing, man? | ||
| You can't build... | ||
| The U.S. is going to build a nation? | ||
| Afghanistan? | ||
| You're going to build a nation where there never was one? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| All you're doing is taking money and moving it to people with bigger guns. | ||
| And what is the deal with Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan? | ||
| Isn't there like almost none left? | ||
| There's no Al-Qaeda. | ||
| No Al-Qaeda. | ||
| And by the way, you think the Afghanis... | ||
| But there is the Taliban. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what Taliban means? | ||
|
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No. | |
| Talib means student. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yes. | ||
| So you're a student. | ||
| So Taliban is a... | ||
| So you're telling me that you're Taliban. | ||
| Taliban means, yes, I'm a student. | ||
| Yeah, you're a student. | ||
| You really mean student? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Talib, you know, and you're a student. | ||
| So, you know, then why? | ||
| Because the notion came out of those schools in Peshawar and in Saudi Arabia. | ||
| Oh, most of those schools, all of those schools in Peshawar and came out, were financed by... | ||
| Saudi Arabia, our number one ally in the Middle East, okay? | ||
| They were financed by that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| The Saudis are Wahhabis. | ||
| That is a puritanical sect of Sunni Islam, okay? | ||
| Obsessed with purity, okay? | ||
| So let's start there. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| You have to go all the way back to when the Soviets actually invaded Afghanistan and we were financing the Mujahideen and everything else with the help of the ISI, which is the Pakistan sequence. | ||
| Is it true, you would be the great guy to ask about this, because I watched it in a documentary where they were saying that the whole term for jihad was originally a war on your own vices. | ||
|
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Yes. | |
| And that it was subverted by the CIA. The root word of jihad in Arabic is struggle. | ||
| Struggle. | ||
| And struggle, jihad meant two things. | ||
| I like how you say that. | ||
| It's very exciting, by the way. | ||
| Jihad. | ||
| It's very authentic. | ||
| You're so authentic. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| And the idea behind jihad, of course, was the battle that always wages between the flesh and the spirit in your own heart. | ||
| And then when the CIA was training the Mujahideen and supplying them with arms, they somehow or another subverted it to get them to meet holy war. | ||
| Who did it? | ||
| Who got them to change it to holy war? | ||
| What happened was when you had people who were fighting... | ||
| First of all, what the Soviets did to Afghanistan was pretty horrific, right? | ||
| Cut down all the trees, bombed all kinds of villages, and you created fanatics. | ||
| You created men who basically had lost their village and their young men. | ||
| And the Soviets were looking for natural gas? | ||
| Is that what they were looking for? | ||
| No, the Soviets were just looking for a buffer. | ||
| I believe they were looking essentially for a buffer zone between Pakistan and themselves. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| It was just all due to the Cold War. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they were afraid they were going to lose control of Afghanistan. | ||
| where do we have Afghanistan never really had nobody ever wanted to be in Afghanistan you didn't want to be living in the Khyber Pass it's too forbidding there wasn't oil there they say there's minerals there Good luck. | ||
| Nobody fucking wants the minerals. | ||
| We get plenty of minerals from Africa and places that are much easier. | ||
| Nobody wants to go into Afghanistan. | ||
| It's always been a group of unruly, very proud people. | ||
| Well, that's actually not totally true because there's a lot of people that are rising up against the problems. | ||
| But back then, nobody had the resources to take those. | ||
| Yeah, but nobody wanted to get involved. | ||
| What do you mean back then? | ||
| In the 79 when they... | ||
|
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Oh, I see what you're saying. | |
| It was just fucking too difficult. | ||
| They didn't understand. | ||
| Nobody ever anticipated the worth of the minerals, though, for cell phones. | ||
| You know, like lithium ion for batteries. | ||
| It's one of the best mining areas in the world. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| For all these different... | ||
|
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I don't know. | |
| It's all over. | ||
| All these different scientific journals have cited it. | ||
| I mean, they've found over a trillion dollars worth of minerals. | ||
| We'll see if anybody is willing to put the money into that. | ||
| It's such a fucking pain in the ass. | ||
| Dude, I can't understand why you would say that. | ||
| There's a trillion dollars laying in the ground. | ||
| You're telling me there's not going to be big businesses going to pull that out of there? | ||
| A trillion dollars. | ||
|
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Or buy oil. | |
| Dude, a trillion dollars can change the fucking world. | ||
| A trillion dollars can put a company into an incredible position of power. | ||
| You should research it before we talk any further about this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's indisputable. | ||
| They found a gigantic ore of minerals that they had always suspected, but it's much, much larger than they thought. | ||
| I don't believe that we went into Afghanistan. | ||
| I think we went into Afghanistan because they were harboring al-Qaeda. | ||
| It was very hard to get it politically. | ||
| You can't say to the American public, hey, we've got minerals, we've got to go on. | ||
| So I think everybody wants it to be either or. | ||
| You know, oh, we went into there because we're corrupt and we're trying to take all their poppies because it's billions of dollars worth of heroin. | ||
| It's a lot of things. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not either or. | ||
| It's a goddamn soup of shit. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And by the way, it doesn't hurt that they can make money off the poppies. | ||
| It doesn't hurt that there's a trillion dollars worth of minerals. | ||
| It doesn't hurt. | ||
|
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We should try. | |
| Try to predict the next hot mineral for the future. | ||
| When you get in there, there's opportunity, right? | ||
| But isn't it funny how everybody wants to have a black or white issue? | ||
| It's either a crazy conspiracy theory or this is just the unfortunate nature of reality. | ||
| That's movies. | ||
| Because we want that. | ||
| It's easier to understand. | ||
| It's so amazing. | ||
| Real life is way sloppier. | ||
| Real life is way sloppier. | ||
| When you talked to, I think it was Tony Snow before he died, they were saying, well, what are you guys going to do about this situation? | ||
| He said, guys, when we're in the Oval Office and you've got a bunch of people there with all the top brass in the military and the CIA and then you've got the State Department, we do exactly what you think we do. | ||
| Try sitting in a room with 30 people and come up with one idea. | ||
| Try to come up with one thing everybody agrees on. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| Everybody's banding ideas back and forth. | ||
| People are disagreeing with each other. | ||
| People are pissed off because you talked over me. | ||
| Nobody can get the president's ear. | ||
| And that's what happens. | ||
| And then the president has to go into a room with three of his advisors and they have to fucking go, we've got seven options that we've been presenting. | ||
| No, why do you think that in that case, why do you think that Obama is such a wishy-washy dude? | ||
| Why do you think he's the guy that is willing to pass the NDAA bill? | ||
| He's the guy that is... | ||
| I think my feeling, and I don't know, but my feeling is, and the mistake Obama made, and I think the opportunity he wasted was not... | ||
| I think he's an academic, first of all, and I think he's by nature a very, very... | ||
| He's an intellectual, and he looks at both sides, and I think he's by nature fairly indecisive, maybe because he's an intellectual. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I'm just speaking. | ||
| I think he's compromised. | ||
| I think he's clearly compromised. | ||
| I think he doesn't have the... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's nothing... | ||
| I don't necessarily agree that he's that smart, and also I don't think that he has the backbone. | ||
| I agree with you there. | ||
| I don't think he's an effective leader. | ||
| I think that he should be more convicted. | ||
| He should have stronger conviction. | ||
| Well, he does have strong convictions towards the people who got him in power, and that's what you've got to look at. | ||
| Look, people spent a lot of money to get that guy into the position that he's in, and he's working for them now. | ||
| It's as clear as day. | ||
| Yeah, well, listen, let's look at that. | ||
| A president spends two years doing his policy, and then he spends the next two years trying to get re-elected. | ||
| He's just basically trying to keep everybody reasonable. | ||
| It's like, come on, folks. | ||
| Let's just be reasonable with how hard we fuck these people. | ||
| I mean, that's really what a president's job is. | ||
| They get in, and the best they can do is say, I really don't agree with this, but I have to sign it. | ||
| And that's what he did with the NDAA. He voted against Iraq, and I always appreciate that. | ||
| You said, I don't believe in going into Iraq. | ||
| Yeah, but meanwhile, here we are. | ||
| Here we are. | ||
| A lot of it's tough for a president. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's tough. | ||
| How much say do you think he really has? | ||
| Is it possible for him to go against those people? | ||
| Is it even possible? | ||
| Well, he can't do a thing without Congress, right? | ||
| So he has exactly It used to be that way, but you don't have to declare war anymore. | ||
| You just start going over places, and next thing you know, shit happens. | ||
| Was war ever declared? | ||
| There were a couple of conflicts that we were involved in where Congress did not step in and declare war. | ||
| You mean Vietnam? | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| I mean, we don't necessarily need it. | ||
| There's emergency executive powers, you know. | ||
| And that's another creepy thing. | ||
| It's like when you find out how many fucking bills and laws are passed just under your nose and flying by. | ||
| Congress passed 40,000 laws last year. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| 40,000 laws, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| Do you really need that? | ||
| I believe that is the number. | ||
| What I say is that you need Clint Eastwood laws. | ||
| And this is what a Clint Eastwood law is. | ||
| If you couldn't imagine Clint Eastwood arresting somebody for it, then it should be legal. | ||
|
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|
Common sense law. | |
| It's fucking Clint Eastwood. | ||
| It's only assholes, douchebags, meth heads, guy who needs a punch, someone you have to shoot. | ||
| That's laws! | ||
| But you get into really complicated issues with, for example, anti-piracy laws. | ||
| How far do you go with that stuff, right? | ||
| So, you know, you and I love... | ||
| Raging debate on my website about this, by the way. | ||
| Well, yeah, because the website, because the web is the last frontier of free speech, of free everything, and it's not regulated. | ||
| Now, if you want to stop intellectual property from being stolen by countries like China, what do you do? | ||
| Do you pass a bunch of laws? | ||
| Would that help the problem? | ||
| I don't think it would. | ||
| Well, we would have to step up and say somehow or another we're going to boycott. | ||
| You couldn't boycott the whole country. | ||
| That would be ridiculous. | ||
| You couldn't do that. | ||
| You couldn't make a few people that won't play nice internationally responsible for the whole country. | ||
| What the fuck would you do, man? | ||
| Well, you know, what you've got to do is, somehow or another, get it into people's minds when they're really, really young, really young, that the world is so much better if you're cool to people. | ||
| And then once they get there, I mean, it's spreading that... | ||
| No, we haven't completely done it. | ||
| No, we haven't, never will, but here's the thing. | ||
| But that's not necessarily true, because we've never had access to human beings the way we have access now on the Internet. | ||
| And I think that human beings... | ||
| Two things happen. | ||
| One, you develop in a terrible environment and you develop all these defense mechanisms and genes that are only activated under extreme stress. | ||
| You develop a whole culture of people that are in a bad situation on a regular basis and are wired for that shit. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| You also develop a bunch of people who don't get love on a regular basis. | ||
| They don't know how to give love. | ||
| They don't have a real true sense of community. | ||
| You have real problems if you don't educate people on how to be a person. | ||
| But once you do, and once you can, you can slowly change things. | ||
| You can change the way children are raised. | ||
| You can change the way relationships between your neighbors are formed. | ||
| And you can slowly spread this out to the point where it can Have a real effect. | ||
| It can essentially be a new operating system for people. | ||
| Well, for the most part, I've got two thoughts on that. | ||
| One is if you read Tim Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Workweek, not The 4-Hour Body, but The 4-Hour Workweek. | ||
| Listen, man, I ain't got no time. | ||
| I'm trying to get some 4-Hour Biceps. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| He's really a great author, isn't he? | ||
| I really love that. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| For our body, it's fascinating. | ||
| I love that book and I love the other one. | ||
| And he said something, and it goes to the internet and stealing and things. | ||
| Look, he said, when you give people, like you do it here with the brain thing, you say, if you don't like it, don't even send it back, we'll give you your money back. | ||
| When you do something like from a business plan, and he talks about it, he says, just tell people you'll give them either, you can tell people you'll give them double their money back. | ||
| And people go, well, people will abuse it. | ||
| I'll go broke. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| About 2% of the people out there always abuse it. | ||
| Always. | ||
| And the rest of them don't. | ||
| And the bottom line is, it's like stealing music, okay? | ||
| Once you started getting out there that piracy is stealing, Most people, and I don't steal fucking music, okay? | ||
| Some people do. | ||
| But I was like, I'm an artist. | ||
| I'm about to come out with my one-hour special. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want people stealing it. | ||
| I mean, it'd be nice if they paid for it, I guess. | ||
| I feel guilty. | ||
| I feel guilty because I listened to a great song and all the effort that went into it. | ||
| I don't want to steal it. | ||
| And actually, most people, most people don't steal music. | ||
| Most people go to iTunes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Except for ages 12 to 25 because they have no money. | |
| Sure, but even then, man, even then, if you look at the statistics, even then, If you look at this decision... | ||
| Listen, I am a shitty business person because I don't think about business. | ||
| I try to think about it. | ||
| I want to think about business as little as possible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too, man. | |
| If anybody's ever said to me, like, hey, if I could get your DVD on Torrent or should I buy it, I'm like, you know what, man? | ||
| You should do whatever feels right to you. | ||
| That's what you should do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| If you don't want to pay for it, don't pay for it. | ||
| If you feel like it's okay to take it, just go ahead. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| Look, I'm going to... | ||
| I'm going to put stuff out there, and I'm going to put it out there with the honest intention of trying to entertain people. | ||
| I'm going to say, this is what the fee is, and if you pay it, you pay it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You know, what Louis C.K. did is the perfect thing, where he released it himself. | ||
| Total direct connection between the artist. | ||
| Put it out for five bucks, which is awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great. | |
| You know, it's a perfect price. | ||
| And, you know, what I think, that's the future. | ||
| Well, I download amazing books, like the book I'm talking about, Exodus. | ||
| I download it for seven dollars. | ||
| But even Louis, they pirated his thing, even though he said, you know, he asked people not to steal it, don't put it up on torrents. | ||
| You're always going to have some people do that. | ||
| But they're always going to. | ||
| But you know what, man? | ||
| Some people don't have five bucks, okay? | ||
| And I know it sounds stupid, but you can't... | ||
| Credit card companies... | ||
| This is my point. | ||
| Unless you're starving because of all this, you can't fixate on it. | ||
| The correct thing to fixate on is get out your point of view. | ||
| Look, I've been in a position before where I was broke, and unfortunately for me, there was no internet at the time. | ||
| I didn't have the opportunity to just download music. | ||
| But of course I would have. | ||
| When I had no money, would I be like, I would love to listen to this Led Zeppelin album, but I want to be a good person. | ||
| You know what I would say? | ||
| I'm going to buy this fucking thing someday when I have some money, but right now I'm going to download the shit out of it. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| By the way, artists make money. | ||
| They're still making money. | ||
| Yeah, they're not starving. | ||
| And by the way, it's beautiful that all that shit gets out there. | ||
| I want everybody to download every fucking Led Zeppelin album that's ever made. | ||
| And if it's, you know, a dollar that you can't afford to get fucking a whole lot of love, go find it somewhere, man. | ||
| Listen to it on YouTube. | ||
| There's like things you can take where you can take a song off YouTube and they'll convert it into an MP3 for you now. | ||
| Credit card companies have, I think it's... | ||
| Is that even stealing? | ||
| No, but credit card companies always have what they factor in a certain fraud quotient into their business plan. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's really interesting because actually like 2.2 or something, it's almost always the same percentage. | ||
| 2.2% of the population is going to defraud you and you're going to lose money. | ||
| And they just factor that in. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's the same percentage that you were talking about earlier with double your money back guarantee with the alpha brain supplements. | ||
| Yeah, if you did do that, I bet you're right. | ||
| I bet it would be the same 2%. | ||
| There's always a group of people that are going to do it. | ||
| Two out of 100 suck. | ||
| Maybe that's the number. | ||
| Maybe that is the number. | ||
| Because I've always said it's like 50% of people suck, but they don't. | ||
| It's like sociopaths, right? | ||
| One in 100 people is a sociopath or something crazy like that? | ||
| Something nutty like that, yeah. | ||
| That's a disturbing figure, man. | ||
| One in 100 people doesn't care if you're fucked up or not. | ||
| One in 100 people just have no feelings for other people. | ||
| That scares me. | ||
| Sticking rods in their asshole and Well, those are very rare, like serial killers and sex slash killers. | ||
| By the way, now that I just remember it, when you were talking about that guy who got fucked to death by the horse, he might have been one of those. | ||
| He had piercings all over his balls. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| You fucking nailed it. | ||
| I totally forgot about that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy had, remember? | ||
| He had a gang of piercings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're doing extreme things like that, you've lost the ability to feel. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| You've got to jack it up. | ||
| For me, the fleshlight is fantastic, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Get it on JoeRogan.com. | ||
| Isn't it crazy with that recent arsonist here in Los Angeles that it doesn't happen more often? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That one out of a hundred just doesn't start fucking... | |
| I mean, I guess it does in some ways, but not to that extent. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| The reality is what Brian was talking about earlier. | ||
| Is that Brian Callen was talking about earlier, is that this is a pretty good time to live. | ||
| You know, we could fix it on the negative shit. | ||
| This is a pretty good time to live. | ||
| And it's 2012. You know, this big change that everyone's going to look back on, you know, like the idea that the Mayans were correct and the time wave zero novelty theory. | ||
| Are you aware of what that is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Time Wave Zero Novelty Theory was a mathematic algorithm created by Terence McKenna, the great psychedelic bard and author and botanist. | ||
| And he went on a mushroom trip in the jungle and came up with this idea based on the I Ching, because he had studied the I Ching, and he came up with this idea that the I Ching was a map of time. | ||
| And that he was going to construct a mathematic algorithm based on the I Ching that would literally track progress and human innovation, you could track it like a wave that it was a mathematical program. | ||
| Yeah, that's how high he got! | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Some people sit around and think about the fucking... | ||
| They have original thoughts that are so fucking deep. | ||
| And it came. | ||
| And it came to a point of what he called ultimate novelty, which means something, novelty meaning innovation, novelty meaning some new thing that had not existed before, or some new branch of some new thing, and that a period of a point of ultimate novelty will be achieved December 21st, 2012. | ||
| Now here's what's fucked up about that. | ||
| That is the exact same day, to the day, as the end of the Mayan calendar. | ||
| So he came up independently on his own with this crazy mathematical algorithm that I don't even know if it's real. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous, but if you believe the guy, he says that he did not know the end of the Mayan calendar until much later, that he had been working on this mathematical program for like 30 years, bringing in mathematicians to work on it, and apparently there's some debate over whether or not he had fudged numbers. | ||
| I'm way too dumb when it comes to math to understand any of it, but the idea has always fascinated me of, even if it's on a date, December 21st, 2012, even if it's on a date, but the idea of it, the idea that it's inevitable, that it really must have, it's going to happen. | ||
| And if you look at how fast shit has happened to get to the point we're at today, and just a few hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred years ago, the way we were living is just unrecognizable. | ||
| The hard surfaces on the roads, and things flying in the sky, and the lights in the city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or that you knew, and now you know his name because he made up this whole bullshit, you know, like he knew the Mayan calendar from the whole time, you know what I mean? | |
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The guy that you're saying that either he knew about it or he didn't know about it. | |
| Well, no, they hadn't even... | ||
| No, he had actually... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or he knew about it. | |
| I'm pretty sure he actually had come up with... | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's been proven that he had either come up with it before they had deciphered the Mayan calendar... | ||
| Or that he definitely hadn't studied it. | ||
| It wasn't mainstream news enough. | ||
| It was enough that I would give him the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| And plus, the dude was super honest. | ||
| If you listen to Terrence McKenna lectures, really fascinating individual. | ||
| He had a lot of interesting, fascinating things to say. | ||
| I've got to listen to him. | ||
| Brilliant, brilliant guy. | ||
| Really amazing. | ||
| Math theorists kill me. | ||
| Well, he's not a math theorist. | ||
| See, that's the crazy thing, is that he wasn't... | ||
| He just had this crazy idea that came to him on mushrooms, and the most ridiculous aspect of it was he asked the mushrooms, why me? | ||
| Why are you giving this to me? | ||
| And they said, because out of the thousands of years that we've been in this field, no one's ever come up to us who had the I Ching in their head before. | ||
| So what it was, was to him, was he happened to be in a place where he had studied some incredibly ancient... | ||
| Chinese divination system. | ||
| It's a real mystery what the I Ching is, because it's a method of fortune-telling, and it seems to be incredibly effective, statistically, numerically effective. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| People try to figure out what it is about the I Ching, but it works more than it doesn't work. | ||
| And what does that even mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand it, but it's based on hexagrams. | ||
| It's based on these patterns, and McKenna coming into this field, eating these mushrooms, tripping his fucking balls out, had this ridiculous idea that what the I Ching really was was the Chinese, at some point in history, a long fucking time ago, had figured out a map of time. | ||
| Well, you know, like the guy who won the Fields Medal, right? | ||
| When he figured the answer out, there was an equation. | ||
| The Russian dude. | ||
| Yeah, and so they don't even know. | ||
| So just the equation, just the question was already theoretical, right? | ||
| The question is, it may not be a question, but let's just say it is a question. | ||
| And mathematicians have been contemplating the answer for the past 200 years. | ||
| The guy comes up with the answer, and the answer, I think, was like 357 pages long. | ||
| But the funny thing about that is that at the end of the 350 pages, all the great mathematicians went, He got it! | ||
| I missed that! | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| He figured it out! | ||
| Think about your mindset. | ||
| What? | ||
| You were able to read the answer that was 357 pages long ago. | ||
| And as a group, the group of great mathematicians that award the medal go, motherfucker! | ||
| For one person that is an incredible achievement. | ||
| Right, but also the fact that you can prove mathematically that the answer is right, that's pretty cool, right? | ||
| I want to be real clear that I'm not supporting this McCann theory, because people go, oh, you fucking believe anything. | ||
| I am absolutely not believing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much money did you make up in 2012? | |
| He's dead, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, but how much do you think he's made off of that? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| You could look at it that way, but I think he made a lot more money off of lectures on psychedelics than he ever did on this Time Wave Zero thing. | ||
| When you look at the fact that the guy worked on it for over 30 years, it seems to be some weird labor of love and obsession that he had. | ||
| I don't know if it's correct. | ||
| I don't know if it makes any sense at all. | ||
| I don't know if it's total horseshit. | ||
| I just think it's fascinating that a person would spend so much time Making a correlation between the I Ching and a 13-cycle, 28-day lunar calendar that is apparently more accurate than the calendar that we employ today. | ||
| And that you could use the I Ching as a calendar, and the I Ching was somehow or another some map of waves. | ||
| And that novelty and positive things, it's never a steady rise to the top. | ||
| What I think is interesting about what you're bringing up is that the fact of the matter is with technology, and we've talked about this before, we're probably going to live, if you live long enough for the next 30 years, we're probably going to live through things that are going to take our entire paradigm of reality and what we see as reality and certainly the world we live in and destroy the entire thing. | ||
| The boundaries. | ||
| Dissolve the boundaries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We'll have to reinvent what... | ||
| I think that the questions of being a human being will always remain. | ||
| I think there are questions that we ask ourselves as human beings. | ||
| What is fulfillment? | ||
| Who am I? What am I doing here? | ||
| Those are questions that... | ||
| That's a responsibility you can't run away from. | ||
| It's why I love Seneca and reading those guys, because you read those fuckers. | ||
| And these dudes who sat around thinking 2,500, 3,500 years ago, and they came up with questions that you still have to answer. | ||
| And most of us, most of us, when you read that shit, you go, What happens to you is you go, oh, I'm living in a fucking, I'm living in a glass house or a box of cards. | ||
| Like most of my belief system, most of how I live my life, a lot of times, you know, when you read it, you go, there's not a lot of scaffolding for that. | ||
| There's not a lot of, you know, there's not a lot of like, I can't really justify it along true moral or truthful terms. | ||
| And that's what Socrates and Seneca would do. | ||
| He would just ask you questions like that. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| You know, you kind of, you kind of, that's why reading the dialogues is such a mind fuck. | ||
| Because all it is is just a series of questions, and you go, hmm, fuck. | ||
| Well, I believe this, and I have some standing, and now you're asking me a question I don't really have the answer to. | ||
| I was listening to this talk about the Library of Alexandria and how it was burned down, not once, but twice. | ||
| Once by followers of the Koran. | ||
| And apparently they looked at it. | ||
| The Muslim. | ||
| Yeah, the Muslim said that apparently they looked at it and said anything here that disputes the Koran is heretic. | ||
| Anything that supports the Koran is unnecessary. | ||
| Burn the whole fucking thing down. | ||
| It's like a million volumes. | ||
| And it was essentially the same people that built the goddamn fucking pyramids. | ||
| You know, I mean, what kind of information was lost? | ||
| I mean, how... | ||
| Like, when you talk about the I Ching, forget about whether or not it's really a map of time. | ||
| But what is it? | ||
| It is really, obviously, something incredibly complicated. | ||
| You know, and there's this series of hexagrams, and there's obviously something to it. | ||
| It's not a random thing. | ||
| There's something studied about it. | ||
| There's a book called How the Irish Saved Civilization. | ||
| Have you heard of it? | ||
| No. | ||
| By Kaplan. | ||
| I can't think his name is Kaplan. | ||
| He's a great, great historian. | ||
| I've read a couple of his books, and... | ||
| During the Dark Ages, when Alexander was burned down and during the Christian Crusades and also when the Ottoman Empire came in and took over and things, a lot of this knowledge was lost. | ||
| But the people that actually were the only people that could write back then in Europe were primarily the Irish clergy. | ||
| The priests. | ||
| And they would write down, they copied these books, they painstakingly copied a lot of these books and carried them around with them and carried them in their oral traditions as well. | ||
| And so a lot of that information, like the Greeks and all the things that we base our political system on, Was carried through, at least the thesis of this book, was carried through by these Irish scribes, by the Irish clergy, who during the Dark Ages kept the tradition of this alive in books and kept their own libraries hidden. | ||
| Isn't it amazing when you look back at really, really ancient academics, like when people would go to Egypt, a lot of the Greeks would travel to Egypt to study. | ||
| At one point in time, there was obviously some gigantic pool of information. | ||
| There was a much more advanced society than we give credit to. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| It's amazing, isn't it? | ||
| Some asshole burned it all down. | ||
| They lost everything. | ||
| But then you don't lose everything. | ||
| But then as you get older you realize that... | ||
| But it's probably more advanced today, right? | ||
| Wouldn't you assume? | ||
| Yes, in many ways. | ||
| Because we are privy to more information. | ||
| Because we are becoming... | ||
| I would liken it to how martial arts has changed exponentially. | ||
| Because everybody is sharing information. | ||
| I agree with you 100% until we start talking about the pyramids. | ||
| And then I just go, well, explain that. | ||
| How the hell did they do that? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| To at least 2,500 BC, maybe even earlier. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| That's a good point, too. | ||
| It's the most amazing physical accomplishment that human beings have ever done. | ||
| Forget about not in the industrial age. | ||
| Yeah, and I also think, like, if you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, have you ever been there? | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| No, only in photos, but it is incredible. | ||
| It's beyond what you can imagine. | ||
| Even as young boys, to go there, because my uncle lived in Rome, and I would go, and I'd look, and I'd spend all this time there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because... | |
| That would never be... | ||
| Nobody would ever do that today. | ||
| That's not true, man. | ||
| Did you hear about that guy that got arrested in Italy because they thought that he was building some sort of a military thing and they were going to storm his house with guns until he let them in? | ||
| He had a modest home in the countryside and then inside his house was a giant fucking construction that went into the hills and the mountains and it was a beautiful cathedral, incredible artwork. | ||
| I mean, this place was massive and stunning. | ||
| And stunning. | ||
| And it was him and just a few friends, and somehow or another they've been working on this for 20, 30 years. | ||
| And everybody was like, what is this crazy asshole doing digging a hole? | ||
| Dude, you have to look at it. | ||
| Because it is art for the sake of art. | ||
| He didn't want anyone to know about it. | ||
| And it's beautiful. | ||
| He has rooms that are like Egyptian rooms with like hieroglyphs and sarcophagus. | ||
| It's online. | ||
| Just look up Italian, home, mountain, look up not whole... | ||
| What would you call it? | ||
| Artwork? | ||
| What would you call it? | ||
| Cathedral? | ||
| Temple? | ||
| Italian home temple? | ||
| Well, what I mean is that the craft of stone making and when they take a tapestry and two generations of artists would work on it. | ||
| So one generation would work on it for his lifetime, then die, and then the next generation, his apprentice, would come and finish it. | ||
| And all those things, when you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, that was a group of people that were so divinely inspired, the notion that they were just making what you said, art for... | ||
| For art's sake, as an homage to something much rare. | ||
| Come over here and look at this real quick. | ||
| Come over here and look at this real quick. | ||
| Put this down. | ||
| Look up, folks. | ||
| Look up Eighth Wonder of the World on the UK or the mail online. | ||
| Stunning Temple secretly carved out below ground by Paranormal Eccentric. | ||
| Look at these fucking photos, man. | ||
| I mean, you can't even wrap your head around this shit. | ||
| This guy made this in a countryside. | ||
| Just for the sake of beauty. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I mean, this guy built all this shit in the countryside, man. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Look at his ceiling. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| You would say that, but he did it today. | ||
| This is recent. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I mean, this is incredible shit. | ||
| Look at the floor on this place. | ||
| Look at the artwork on the pillar. | ||
| I mean, it is some of the most stunning shit, and I don't like that stuff. | ||
| I was over to these people's house. | ||
| They're very nice folks, but they have this ridiculous mural, like a painted mural on the wall, and it's like bad art, and it looks so like a boat and shit, and some fucking asshole fisherman. | ||
| You're like, what are you doing here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a restaurant by my house that just hired their daughter, I think, to do it. | |
| Look at this, Brian. | ||
| I'm sorry, one more. | ||
| Take a look at this. | ||
| I want to show you. | ||
| This is the hallway that leads into it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| They carved that into the mountain. | ||
| Yeah, they carved that into the mountain. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| For the folks that are just listening, the artwork on the wall is spectacular. | ||
| The floor, the marble on the floor is just immaculate. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And look, this is the outside of the house. | ||
| Yep, just a regular house. | ||
| Just a weird regular house. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Yep, and they were moving so much dirt out of there that everybody was like, and they did it for a long ass fucking time. | ||
| That's what makes the world a better place. | ||
| They occupy 300,000 cubic feet. | ||
| That's an act of faith, you know? | ||
| That's an act of faith. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Big Ben, the clock, is 15,000 cubic feet. | ||
| Under this guy's house, he had 300,000 cubic feet. | ||
| Think of how big this fucking thing is that this guy built inside the countryside underneath his house. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| A 57-year-old former insurance broker from northern Italy who, inspired by a childhood vision, began digging into the rock. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| It all began in the 60s when he was 10. God! | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Yeah, there's some motherfuckers out there, dude. | ||
| I mean, why isn't this a movie? | ||
| But look at Michelangelo! | ||
| Michelangelo went blind from painting the Sistine Chapel. | ||
| Oh yeah, by the way, I credited Leonardo da Vinci with that the other day. | ||
| We were super high. | ||
| Me and Everlast were talking. | ||
| So folks, folks, correct me on Twitter. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| For some reason, when I get high, I forget that Leonardo da Vinci and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Banksy. | |
| They were contemporaries, though. | ||
| Yes, they were, but I forget that Michelangelo was a different guy. | ||
| You know, Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo and my stupid head are like one person. | ||
| No, in fact, if you read The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone, Michelangelo was a short, kind of skinny with a pug nose, and da Vinci was a stud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a stud. | |
| He's a genie. | ||
| And da Vinci was the one who was the real inventor, too, right? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Michelangelo was a badass artist, but da Vinci was inventing fucking space planes and shit. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah, what a freak show that guy was, huh? | ||
| Well, the Sistine fucking chaplain went blind. | ||
| He couldn't stop. | ||
| The greatest thing, the greatest fucking, the greatest line for Michelangelo when he, and to define what you are as a person in art, was when he looked at the fucking, at this huge piece of marble, and he's about to carve the statue of David, and his girlfriend at the time, his one love, said to him, what, how are you going to do this? | ||
| And he said, it's already in there. | ||
| I just have to get all this stuff out of the way. | ||
| And it's a great metaphor for art or a human being. | ||
| You start a piece of shit, and if you can delete enough stuff, just through hard work and carving and stuff, you can become a better person. | ||
| It's so important that people do things, and that you do things that other people enjoy. | ||
| Correct action is huge. | ||
| Whatever it is, whether you're a fucking Dotson repairman, and you're like, oh, Frank, you're the fucking best. | ||
| And failure is more important than success to become a better person. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Look at fighters. | ||
| But what I'm saying is like doing something that people enjoy really is like the fucking key to happiness in life. | ||
| It's like doing something that makes other people happy in some way. | ||
| It really is the key to happiness in life. | ||
| It's one that so few people ever figure out and that's one of the reasons why people are so fucked up is because so many people have this selfish, it's all about me attitude and you don't understand that you will never be happy. | ||
| Not only that, you won't be prosperous either. | ||
| You won't be because you are a part of a gigantic system. | ||
| And you are in a symbiotic relationship with every human being that you come in contact with. | ||
| So when you fuck them over, you fuck up your whole system. | ||
| You spread out negative energy, you put out bad ripples, and it comes back. | ||
| It's impossible not to. | ||
| You see it with fighters sometimes. | ||
| You see fighters start coming with... | ||
| Like a lot of guys who are real angry and they come from broken homes and they're just fucking sour... | ||
| But they learn. | ||
| And they learn. | ||
| And to get better, they have to confront that anger, and they have to learn to control it. | ||
| And a lot of times, by the time they're done, they come out of it really well-adjusted, just men in some ways. | ||
| The best guys, the best of the best, are martial artists. | ||
| You know, Anderson Silva, he's a martial artist. | ||
| He is, man. | ||
| He's a martial artist. | ||
| Who else would you say is in that? | ||
| George St. Pierre is a martial artist, no doubt about it. | ||
| He is a 100% martial artist in the way he behaves around people, the way he conducts himself. | ||
| He conducts himself as an exemplary member of society who can fuck you up. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| You never get the feeling hanging out with George that he can kick your ass. | ||
| You never get the feeling. | ||
| Of course he can. | ||
| You know he can. | ||
| Psychologically, realistically, you know he can kick your ass. | ||
| But you never feel that around him because he's always so humble and so friendly and so nice. | ||
| We were talking about that. | ||
| Some people have a lot of trouble managing success. | ||
| It's a character issue. | ||
| It's whether or not you accept bullshit, lies, or whether or not you look at yourself realistically. | ||
| And to get better and stay on top, you've got to confront that in yourself. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| All day, every day. | ||
| And you have to have a completely open mind. | ||
| That's why a lot of fighters choke or they freeze up and stuff, and it's just human. | ||
| You've got to be able to assess your objective strengths and weaknesses at a moment's notice, and you've got to be able to do it completely accurately. | ||
| You can't be burdened down by some ego that has you convinced that you're right, and you're doing it together and avoid all the... | ||
| You also have to be doing it to some extent to... | ||
| It's a fine line because you don't want to do things for other people. | ||
| You're doing it to surprise yourself, but your motivation has to be pure because if your motivation is not, you will pay a price for it. | ||
| Sure, right. | ||
| You do it for art, man. | ||
| This is how I approach everything I write. | ||
| I say, well, I really got to get together and fucking do some writing today. | ||
| Don't be lazy, bitch. | ||
| And then I sit down and I start writing. | ||
| And I never say, okay, here, I'm going to write things for people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got to, whatever it is, I got to conjure it up. | |
| I got to let that bitch come out. | ||
| I don't even try to be funny. | ||
| I just try to write what I think is interesting. | ||
| Well, that's one of the reasons why I enjoyed writing blogs. | ||
| Before I started writing my book, I was writing a lot of blogs. | ||
| And they're still all up at JoeRogan.net somewhere. | ||
| You can find them. | ||
| We need to make that shit easier to find. | ||
| Yeah, because the blogs and the videos are all together in the same pile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's under tags. | |
| You have it as a blog or a video. | ||
| Yeah, but most people don't even know what a tag is, dude. | ||
| Most people just want something real clean. | ||
| Click on, here's the shit you wrote. | ||
| Click. | ||
| Well, I'll get that done eventually, but my point is that I would never write anything on purpose trying to be funny. | ||
| I would just sit down and just look, man, the world is funny. | ||
| This is just stupid shit that's going on all day, every day. | ||
| If you can't see some funny in the world, but it's also that that's some funny, especially when you're writing blogs, It's always balanced out with the shit that's not funny. | ||
| That makes the funny stuff even funnier. | ||
| It's got to be whatever the fuck is coming out of there, and then I just extract the jokes from that. | ||
| The stuff that's actually funny, I extract it from that. | ||
| The ironic points. | ||
| Well, you've always looked at it. | ||
| Your comedy, to me, has always been... | ||
| I've always been more absurd, but you look at the truth of situations, and then you just fucking... | ||
| You carve it out and shine a light on it. | ||
| I try to put a lot of absurd in there as well. | ||
| I found out along the way that, first of all, not being absurd can be a trap. | ||
| People take you seriously. | ||
| I don't want you to take me seriously, man. | ||
| I don't have time for that, okay? | ||
| So please don't. | ||
| But that becomes a trap, and I've seen some comics fall into it, especially when they develop a following. | ||
| you know they have this group of people that want something to lead the way dude a following is very hard to manage what we're talking about don't fucking listen to your following too much because you start getting you start believing the hype you get older and people like I go on the road yes but appreciate it It's a responsibility. | ||
| It's a resource. | ||
| It's a responsibility. | ||
| They're your friends out there. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You just got to respect it. | ||
| Just don't let it define you because then you will start trying to be a certain way that I think it's all about when it happens to you that you develop a following anyway. | ||
| I mean, do you develop a following when you're 17 years old and you're on a Disney sitcom and you don't really understand yourself? | ||
| Or do you develop yourself when you're 30 and then you become... | ||
| It goes back to the martial arts example. | ||
| Back in the day when your teacher taught you martial arts or you had a karate teacher, he was the master. | ||
| He would never fight. | ||
| His sparring days were over. | ||
| He's too deadly to spar with you. | ||
| The Brazilians are like... | ||
| They're your teacher. | ||
| They fucking roll with you every fucking day. | ||
| That's the difference between real fighters and guys who are... | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| The real issue is striking versus jiu-jitsu because you can't do that every day with striking. | ||
| It's just too difficult. | ||
| I mean, if you have a great group of people where you guarantee, like, hey, man, let's just go light, and you really do not try to kill each other, that's awesome. | ||
| That's hard. | ||
| But that's not normal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Norm was like the gentleman that we were talking about earlier today, the very successful gentleman, and we won't mention his name, who doesn't know how to spar. | ||
| He just tries to kill guys in the gym, and they tell him, listen, man, you're not going to get any fucking sparring partners. | ||
| You're too crazy. | ||
| And that's a guy that's missing the whole point. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| And, you know, you miss the whole camaraderie of being a teammate with someone. | ||
| Part of it is, you know, you build each other up, you know? | ||
| You could hit your teammate, but you don't. | ||
| Your teammate is like an extension of you. | ||
| Those guys, all those team, they become close. | ||
| Super close, yeah. | ||
| Because they're sweating, bleeding, and fucking dying together. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And they can trust each other when they're sparring. | ||
| That's really important, man. | ||
| Even though you spar hard, it's not... | ||
| I mean, dudes are getting hit, no doubt about it. | ||
| Look, you don't get as good at boxing as Nate Diaz does. | ||
| Unless you've got a guy like Gilbert Melendez in your camp. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| These guys are going at each other all the time, and they're doing it the right way, and they're both getting good as fuck. | ||
| And same thing with Nick. | ||
| He's so goddamn good. | ||
| And you know what Nick's doing? | ||
| He's constantly boxing with Andre Ward. | ||
| He boxes with Andre Ward, who's an Olympic gold medalist. | ||
| Andre Ward is a hell of a... | ||
| He's a hell of a boxer. | ||
| Brilliant, brilliant boxer. | ||
| I mean, that guy never gets hurt. | ||
| So he boxes with Andre Ward? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Look, man, Nick Diaz is professional boxing level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is, huh? | |
| Yes. | ||
| First of all, he's a super athlete. | ||
| He can put a pace on those dudes that they can't handle. | ||
| He's, for me, he's my favorite fighter. | ||
| He's a super endurance athlete. | ||
| I mean, you look at him, he's obviously in great shape. | ||
| I mean, it's not that, but what you don't understand is his cardio is like double what a normal human's is. | ||
| Like, literally double. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Yeah, and because he has that, man, that's a weapon. | ||
| He can use that weapon because most guys aren't willing to work that hard. | ||
| He does triathlons all the time, man. | ||
| He fucking swam back from Alcatraz. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| Twice! | ||
| Yeah, in the shark-infested water. | ||
| I mean, the reason why they put Alcatraz there, they go, we'll put a prison here. | ||
| Who the fuck's going to swim that? | ||
| They thought it couldn't be done. | ||
| And this crazy asshole who's a cage fighter has done it twice just for the fuck of it. | ||
| And that's not even what he does. | ||
| He's not like an ultra-endurance swimmer in the ocean. | ||
| No, he's a cage fighter. | ||
| But his mind is so strong because of that. | ||
| Because he has so much fucking endurance. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| So does Nate. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| If every round was like a 20-minute round, You could never beat Nick Diaz. | ||
| You could never beat him. | ||
| Because after 15 minutes, you'd be huffing and puffing. | ||
| You'd be waiting for that stool. | ||
| And he'd be like, what, bitch? | ||
|
unidentified
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He'd be still pop, pop, popping you with those 50% punches in the face. | |
| Does he talk to me? | ||
| Fuck yeah, he does. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because he's smart. | ||
| Because that's a psychological war that's going on right there. | ||
| And if you can get a guy flustered and call him a bitch and get up in his face and get him thinking about your emotions, that's the intelligent thing to do. | ||
| If you were an intelligent fighter, you would add that. | ||
| I know it's beautiful to be a George St. Pierre and to bow like you're a martial artist and to never be talking shit in the middle of a fight. | ||
| Do it completely respectfully. | ||
| And he gets it done masterfully. | ||
| But, in my opinion, I like watching a guy like Nick Diaz get in there and go, what, bitch? | ||
| What, bitch? | ||
| Where you going, bitch? | ||
| Where you going, bitch? | ||
| He's on all fours moving his head around. | ||
| Yeah, moving his head back and forth talking mad shit. | ||
| He seems to truly hate the guys he fights. | ||
| He does until he fights them and then he's cool with them. | ||
| You know, after he knocked out Frank Shamrock, he goes, come on, man, get up. | ||
| You're a legend. | ||
| And he helped him. | ||
| Helped him up. | ||
| Picked him up by his hand. | ||
| And Nate did the same thing, Nate, his brother Nate, after he beat up Cerrone this weekend. | ||
| You know, he said, you know, listen, man, it's all good. | ||
| You know, it's just hype and bullshit. | ||
| And they hugged and it was cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, and Cerrone gave it up to him, period. | ||
| He was a better fighter, that's it. | ||
| No excuses. | ||
| He kicked my ass. | ||
| And they just let it go. | ||
| It was beautiful, you know? | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like when dudes can let it go. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| But it's a smart thing to get guys upset at you. | ||
| It's a smart thing. | ||
| Well, I think Nate, it seems Nate and Nick don't give a fuck if you're welcome or not. | ||
| Don't give a fuck! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't give a fuck. | |
| They dare to kick your ass. | ||
| It's really simple. | ||
| They dare to kick your ass and they don't want to talk to you about a fight. | ||
| No, they dare to kick your ass. | ||
| But they're punching. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| It's like they're punching. | ||
| It looks like he's moving in slow motion. | ||
| I was watching the first time I watched him punch. | ||
| It doesn't look like he's moving in slow motion. | ||
| It looks like he's not trying to hurt you. | ||
| Yeah, he's just like... | ||
| Well, you know why? | ||
| Because don't throw your punches at 100%. | ||
| Throw your punches at 50% and land 82% of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| And he wasn't even throwing them at 80%. | ||
| I mean, I would say maybe he threw a lot of punches that were around 50% of his full power. | ||
| If he really wanted to haul off and blast you in the face, he could knock people the fuck out. | ||
| But him and his brother have figured out this really effective style of volume... | ||
| Who taught them that? | ||
| Is that Andre Ward? | ||
| That's a real good question. | ||
| I would be out of school if I said that, but I don't think so. | ||
| They have a boxing coach. | ||
| There's a Mexican gentleman that's in the ring with him all the time. | ||
| I should credit him because I need to find... | ||
| It makes me want to go become a... | ||
| It's over for me. | ||
| You just see those guys. | ||
| They make it look so easy. | ||
| They're submission game. | ||
| They're fucking punching. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They never throw a kick. | |
| I love those dudes. | ||
| They're so fun, man. | ||
| Nick Diaz. | ||
| I love his non-stop. | ||
| Sorry, Richard Perez. | ||
| Richard Perez. | ||
| I should have known. | ||
| He's one of those guys that his name was at the tip of my tongue, but they've been with him for a long time. | ||
| He's had every one of their fights, and he's their boxing coach. | ||
| They always credit Richard Perez afterwards. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He's got them so slick. | ||
| Their head movement, their counters, their angles, man. | ||
| Dude, Nate Diaz in two fights. | ||
| I wonder how much they practice that. | ||
| I mean, they practice boxing every day. | ||
| Oh, yeah, they're boxing a lot. | ||
| I mean, they're very boxing-centered, and why not be? | ||
| Because, look, first of all, everyone knows their jiu-jitsu's nasty, so you don't really want to take them down, necessarily, and wind up in their guard. | ||
| Nate Diaz fucks guys up from his guard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he does. | |
| And so does Nick. | ||
| They both catch guys. | ||
| So what are you going to do? | ||
| You have to stand up with them. | ||
| If you want to stand up with them, they're both long, and they both throw all these volume punches, and they're so fucking accurate, man. | ||
| He broke the CompuStrike record, Nate Diaz did in the Cerrone fight. | ||
| I think it was 82%, I believe it was. | ||
| That's nuts, man! | ||
| That's nuts! | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| I've never seen anything like that. | ||
| I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| Dude, he boxed him up, man. | ||
| His boxing was brilliant. | ||
| And in the last two fights, in the Takanori Gomi fight and in this fight, he just turned this crazy corner. | ||
| And I think it came out of the loss to Rory McDonald. | ||
| That Rory McDonald kid is a fucking beast. | ||
| You know, that young man from Canada. | ||
| Do you know who he is? | ||
| Rory McDonald. | ||
| He's only had a few UFC fights. | ||
| He had a real close fight with Carlos Condit and he got stopped in the third round. | ||
| But he was winning the first two rounds. | ||
| And really, a quick demolition of Mike Pyle. | ||
| I was really blown away by that. | ||
| I expected Mike Pyle was going to be very difficult for him. | ||
| I mean, he caught him early, and you know, you catch anybody early. | ||
| Is this Rory guy a boxer? | ||
| No, he's a full-on MMA fighter, but he's a young kid. | ||
| He's been trained in MMA only for his whole life, from the beginning to end. | ||
| Well, Nate had a fight with him, and Nate lost the decision. | ||
| He didn't get hurt. | ||
| He never got beat up. | ||
| He got thrown around a little bit. | ||
| The guy took him down a few times, like suplexed him and stuff. | ||
| But, you know, one of the things about the Diaz brothers is they're an amazing defense. | ||
| You know, they're so used to fighting against brutal guys in training that they're really good at surviving, you know. | ||
| And so he realized that he probably should be at 155 pounds. | ||
| It was like a better weight class run. | ||
| Oh, I was fighting 170. He was fighting 170, and he didn't build up to get there. | ||
| He didn't go up to like 185, 190, and then cut his weight down. | ||
| He was, you know, he was essentially, you know, weighing in like much closer to the 55-pound limit. | ||
| But the last two fights, he had it lightweight. | ||
| It was Takenori Gomi and this last one against Cerrone, and both of them. | ||
| It was just insane. | ||
| And Cerrone is no joke, man. | ||
| No, he's a beast. | ||
| You know, I think what happened was, I think, you know, Nate got pissed off on himself after that fight with Rory McDonald, and he said, you know what, fuck it, I'm kicking it up a notch, and decided, you know, 155 is where I was supposed to be, and, you know, just really get to it. | ||
| Were you surprised when he gave him the finger like that? | ||
| No, it was beautiful. | ||
| It's beautiful, man. | ||
| This is war, man. | ||
| It's psychological war. | ||
| Larry Bird used to show up at every three-point contest and go, who's coming in second? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You've got to think about Larry Bird when you're fucking shooting that shot now. | ||
| Because you can't be in the zone because no one's fucked with you and you can have your own positive thoughts. | ||
| No, you've got Larry Bird's freckly little white-ass cracker face going, who's coming in second? | ||
| Well, you know what it said to me? | ||
| When I saw him getting the finger, I went, that guy's not tired. | ||
| He's not tired. | ||
| No, he doesn't get tired. | ||
| He's just like his brother. | ||
| They do some fucking extreme endurance work, man. | ||
| And they keep their conditioning at a really high level. | ||
| And if you do that, you can put a pace on a dude they can't fuck with. | ||
| And then on top of that, if you have really good striking, then it's like, man... | ||
| Getting striking like that is so difficult. | ||
| That takes years, man. | ||
| And balls. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| You have to have balls. | ||
| You have to go in there with guys who can take your fucking face. | ||
| Yeah, and you get hit and hurt a lot. | ||
| You've got to learn defense. | ||
| You've got to learn how to roll with punches. | ||
| You've got to learn who not to spar with. | ||
| There's some dudes that it's not worth it. | ||
| Some dudes, you could spar them every now and then, especially if you're feeling fresh or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, but if you box with just strict boxers like Andre Ward, you start to try to fight him just as a boxer. | ||
| MMA guys are a lot of different though. | ||
| A lot of guys, especially in the early days of MMA, I've had long conversations with dudes about this who started out in the early 90s. | ||
| They didn't know any better and they would just go full blast in the gym all the time. | ||
| Somewhere along the line, people started telling them, hey man, you shouldn't do this. | ||
| You guys should be sparring with technique and this is how you do that and this is how you save yourself for the fights. | ||
| Yeah, because nobody was ever using a jab back then or anything like that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Everybody was like Haymaker Central. | ||
| And then you get in there, that's one of the reasons why a guy like Anderson shines. | ||
| You get in there with a guy like Anderson, like Chris Lieben, just charged at him, just went to try to maul him. | ||
| Which was, you know, if you're going to give him a good strategy, what's a good strategy? | ||
| Stay on the outside and let him pick you apart or chase that motherfucker down. | ||
| I would have told Chris to do the same thing. | ||
| He just wasn't ready for that level yet, in that technical level that Anderson's achieved. | ||
| He has all the techniques. | ||
| He doesn't have just haymakers. | ||
| He came from a technical Muay Thai background. | ||
| So his technique is beautiful. | ||
| I was watching Tiago Alva's mom down on American Top Team. | ||
| You trained with him, right? | ||
| Yeah, trained with Anderson Silva's best friend, I guess, and coach, Muay Thai coach, who's a stud himself. | ||
| Just like this real good-looking dude who's like... | ||
| And it was so exciting because Tiago is a big Death Valley fan. | ||
| So he came up to me and was like... | ||
| Which is a show that you're on for a little bit. | ||
| He's like, dude, I'm a huge fan. | ||
| You crack me up. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| That's a terrible accent. | ||
| It doesn't sound anything like him. | ||
| Not at all, but he's so funny. | ||
| We had such a laugh. | ||
| He took me around, and we had a blast. | ||
| But he gave me a private Muay Thai class, and then he rolled with me in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And if you ever want to feel like a hen with a wolf, it was ridiculous. | ||
| He's so strong. | ||
| He kicked the bag at one point just lightly. | ||
| I was holding it. | ||
| He was showing me a roundhouse, like a low kick. | ||
| The power is retarded with that guy. | ||
| You know what the beautiful thing about him is? | ||
| When he throws things, everything is tight and tucked. | ||
| He's got some of the best defense as far as MMA strikers. | ||
| He's got some of the best defense. | ||
| You know what it is, man? | ||
| I can tell, and I spend enough time on him, he's fucking smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy's really smart. | ||
| Yeah, he's doing everything very technically. | ||
| He's very smart. | ||
| He's matured a lot. | ||
| He's 28 now. | ||
| And he was just very open about what a crazy fucker he was when he was younger, spending money going crazy. | ||
| Did you see his last fight against Papi Abedi? | ||
| No, I... It was beautiful. | ||
| It was beautiful because this guy's a monster, man. | ||
| This Papi Abetti looks like the last guy you'd ever want to fight. | ||
| You look at him, he's just ridiculously shredded. | ||
| He's a judo black belt. | ||
| He can strike. | ||
| He's very similar to... | ||
| Shark Shirk? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The Bellator, Hector Lombard. | ||
| Very similar to that Bellator champion, Hector Lombard. | ||
| Really similar. | ||
| Just built and ridiculous power punches. | ||
| Really fast. | ||
| And Tiago just stayed in the pocket, man. | ||
| Just caught him with a little shot after a little shot. | ||
| Leg kicks. | ||
| And the dude was swinging at Tiago, man. | ||
| The dude was a scary guy. | ||
| But it was a beautiful display of technique and patience and being a veteran and overcoming a guy who can beat anybody. | ||
| He's had 16 fights in the UFC, man. | ||
| That's a lot of fights. | ||
| And that Pappy Abetti guy, I feel like he could beat anybody. | ||
| I feel like if you fuck up and let that guy punch you in the face, if somehow or another you zig when you shoot a zag, you get caught, which happens to guys. | ||
| You saw the John Fitch fight this weekend? | ||
| Yeah, he got knocked out. | ||
| He got caught and knocked out with one punch? | ||
| Well, there's a follow-up punch, but essentially the one punch was the one that really did it. | ||
| Well, with those little gloves, your margin for error really slims down. | ||
| And that's where learning technique, and if you look at boxers, when they teach, you're spending more time avoiding than throwing punches. | ||
| Anybody can throw hands, but moving out of the way and then hitting, or just being able to slip punches. | ||
| Well, there's a lack of, like, real high-level technical boxing in a lot of areas of MMA. Because it takes forever. | ||
| It takes forever, and it's really hard to learn everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, it's one of the reasons why a lot of people think you should be awesome at one thing before you ever get into MMA. Yeah. | ||
| Because, you know, it's like the Rory McDonalds of the world are very rare, and this is this young kid who's starting out. | ||
| He's got great wrestling. | ||
| His wrestling is outstanding. | ||
| His kickboxing is nasty. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is solid as fuck. | ||
| He's really got no weaknesses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Phew. | |
| But, you know, he's one of those 22-year-old kids that can actually do that. | ||
| Oh, God, who came up with this stuff. | ||
| Yeah, came up with it from the get-go. | ||
| You know, for the most part, most guys, they came up with one discipline or another, and the best thing they could hope for was to be really good at something. | ||
| Whether they're really good at wrestling, so they take a guy down, or really good at striking, they just learn how to sprawl like Mirko Krokop. | ||
| You know, he never really became anything other than a striker. | ||
| He has a couple submission victories, but they're mostly after he, except the Randallman fight, mostly after he was fucking a guy up. | ||
| The question is, can anybody beat Jon Bones Jones and does he go to heavyweight? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Nobody ever expected that Jon Bones Jones was ever going to exist. | ||
| you know before he existed nobody would have suspected that some brilliant young kid could come in here who was a a an excellent amateur wrestler with you know a few years of karate and taekwondo or something under his belt maybe not even a few years i should say like you know months of it but just you know practice some kicks and knew how to do them and then you get him with some ace trainers like mike winklejohn and greg jackson and they mold this kid into some fucking prodigy i | ||
| I would have never said that could have happened before, that some kid could have been in the game only like three years and just dominate guys like Shogun, dominate guys like Machida. | ||
| You know, he put Machida to sleep with a standing guillotine. | ||
| When's the last time anybody put a high-level champion to sleep with a standing guillotine and then dropped him like it was Mortal Kombat? | ||
| Like he just beheaded him and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was like, VATALITY! It's ridiculous. | |
| You know what he is, man? | ||
| He is the king of the new school. | ||
| That's what he is. | ||
| Jon Jones is the king of the new school. | ||
| There's no one who can fuck with him. | ||
| These new guys, there's a level. | ||
| There's a high level. | ||
| There's a higher level than has ever existed before. | ||
| And Jon Jones is at the peak of that wave. | ||
| I guess it's Junior Dos Santos. | ||
| But there's another wave coming. | ||
| And another wave coming is those Rory McDonald dudes. | ||
| Jon Jones started out as a wrestler and learned all that striking and slowly become better at striking. | ||
| Rory McDonald is great at everything. | ||
| He's great at everything. | ||
| His fucking head movement is nasty. | ||
| His striking is clean. | ||
| His technique is perfect. | ||
| He's got knockout power. | ||
| He's fucking 22 years old. | ||
| And he's smart. | ||
| He's a little savage. | ||
| Those guys are coming up. | ||
| And there's a 14-year-old right now that'll probably fuck him up. | ||
| And the guy that is hitting pads in Vegas right now. | ||
| You ever see those two little kids? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The little Mohawk kids? | ||
| Dude, those little kids can do everything. | ||
| And they're like little kids. | ||
| I don't know how they all are now. | ||
| But they're super dedicated and they love the sport. | ||
| you know, and they get a lot of attention, so they do it a lot, and their parents love it, and Come on, man. | ||
| Those kind of guys, that's the next wave. | ||
| So as crazy as Hoist Gracie was in 1993, Jon Jones is in 2012, and as crazy as Alistair Overeem is in 2012, you're going to have some new dude that's going to be 10 years from now or whatever, and he's going to have some mad distance between them. | ||
|
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Because it'll be a sport as itself. | |
| Because right now it's a sport that's piecemealed from a bunch of other different sports with no clear formula. | ||
| Eventually they're going to get a pretty clear formula. | ||
| Eventually there's going to be, it seems, MMA as its own fighting system is going to solidify. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| But part of the fun is the ebb and flow and the battle while it's happening. | ||
| All of a sudden, karate is what everybody needs to know. | ||
| Nobody can touch Machida. | ||
|
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Oh, shit. | |
| Who would have ever thought it was karate after all these years? | ||
| If you just have the sprawling, then it's karate. | ||
| And then, you know, a guy like John Jones comes around and it's like, oh, no, no, no. | ||
| It's length. | ||
| It's distance and intelligence and a wrestling background. | ||
| That's what's important. | ||
| And the willingness to believe in yourself and just throw wild shit. | ||
| And the fact that nobody can hit you because you're a mile away from them all the time you connect on them. | ||
| What about him and Junior DeSantis? | ||
| Would they fight? | ||
| Maybe eventually. | ||
| I think John Jones will someday be a heavyweight because he's so young. | ||
| I think he's only 24 now. | ||
| What weight does he walk around at? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I should ask him. | ||
| I think he's above 215, 220. I think he gets pretty heavy. | ||
| Then he drops the weight and eats healthy. | ||
| I think he's got a big family. | ||
| He's a young kid. | ||
| He's going to fill out. | ||
| His brothers play football and won professionally. | ||
| I think he'd be amazing as a heavyweight too. | ||
| He's big enough. | ||
| He's got skinny legs. | ||
| Yeah, and those could get bigger. | ||
| And by the way, he would be even more ridiculous then. | ||
| Could you imagine if all of a sudden he had super legs underneath him? | ||
| He did all those fucking squats and deadlifts and just triangle the fuck out of everyone. | ||
|
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A lot of his strength is his speed. | |
| Yeah, but could you imagine that? | ||
| If all of a sudden he's triangling people. | ||
| I mean, he can do anything. | ||
| How tall is he? | ||
| I believe he's 6'4". | ||
| I believe he's 6'4". | ||
| That's really tall. | ||
| He's really tall, but his reach is what's ridiculous. | ||
| 84 inches. | ||
| Yeah, pull that up, Brian. | ||
| Find out how tall John Jones is. | ||
| And by the way, what is Anderson Silva? | ||
| How tall is he? | ||
| I think he's 6'2". | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
|
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Maybe 6'3". | |
| I'd love to see that fight. | ||
| Yeah, but you know, the issue is a wrestling issue. | ||
| I mean, he's... | ||
| Anderson? | ||
| Yeah, Anderson is like... | ||
| He's an amazing, amazing fighter. | ||
| But when you're taking on a guy who's physically much bigger than you, right? | ||
| Anderson is... | ||
| Were we asking how tall he is? | ||
| 6'4", yeah. | ||
| He's got 6'4", but he has a reach that's bigger than some 7' tall people. | ||
| He's got a crazy reach. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I just said that, and that's real. | ||
| His reach is the longest of anyone in the UFC, including Semmy Schilt, who used to fight for the UFC. So his ability to touch you with his hands is like right up there with Stefan Struve. | ||
| Stefan Skyscraper Struve has a... | ||
| Than Jon Jones does. | ||
| So he's just got... | ||
| He's got everything going for him. | ||
| He's got intelligence. | ||
| He's got confidence. | ||
| He's got the courage to get in there and fucking throw down against the best fighters in the world even though he's only been doing it for three years. | ||
| And he's got the athleticism to pull it off. | ||
| And he listens to everything. | ||
| And you listen to interviews with him. | ||
| The dude is on YouTube all the time watching wrestling matches and learning moves and putting them in his head. | ||
| He's a fucking... | ||
| He's loving that he's the baddest motherfucker in the world. | ||
| Tiago told me that Anderson's... | ||
| I said, what's Anderson like? | ||
| And he said, He's a martial arts nerd. | ||
| He loves martial arts. | ||
| He watches stuff. | ||
| Both guys. | ||
| You don't get as good as Anderson unless you're completely obsessed with it. | ||
| There's the story of Anderson's fight with Tony Frickland. | ||
| You know that story? | ||
| Anderson fought Tony Frickland and he had this crazy upward elbow that he wanted to try. | ||
| Like some shit he saw in an Ong Bak movie. | ||
| And his coaches were like, will you get the fuck out of here with this elbow? | ||
| Like he kept practicing this really nutty elbow that like would never come up. | ||
| It was like a kung fu move, you know? | ||
|
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It was like whoosh! | |
| It was like some stuff that you saw in a movie that you would never see in an MMA fight where, you know, it's much more dangerous. | ||
| But he made his wife hold the pillow for him, and he would practice this upward elbow. | ||
| He made his wife hold pads, and he would practice this shit over and over again. | ||
| He had to do it away from his coaches. | ||
| And so then, he was in the actual cage, and he told his fucking coach, I'm going to do that upward elbow. | ||
| Can you shut the fuck up and get out of here with this crazy upward elbow? | ||
| And ba-blam! | ||
| He catches frickin' with his upward elbow and puts him to sleep. | ||
| Not just put him to sleep, but stiff-armed him. | ||
| He went down like stiff legs, stiff arm, nothing was working. | ||
| And he blasts him with an elbow and then Anderson just walks away like he's a ninja. | ||
|
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Ha ha ha! | |
| It's the most ridiculous shit ever. | ||
| But that's what it is. | ||
| He learned a technique that was outside of his discipline. | ||
| He's just such a bad motherfucker. | ||
| What he's got is, just like Jon Jones, he's very intelligent and his timing is amazing. | ||
| And his confidence. | ||
| Intelligence, timing, confidence, and character. | ||
| And with Anderson, too. | ||
| Anderson is a guy who's been proven. | ||
| I mean, Jon Jones has never been in a fight where he got dominated for four rounds and then pulled it off in the fifth. | ||
| There's something invaluable about what Anderson has accomplished. | ||
| And what Anderson showed in that Shel Sonnen fight was that he's not just the hammer. | ||
| He can take it, dude. | ||
| You can't break him. | ||
| And if you slip... | ||
| His face was clean after the fight. | ||
| He's looking for a way to win, man. | ||
| And if you slip, he's going to find it. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| Yeah, it's only a minute to go. | ||
| But look at this shot! | ||
|
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Oh! | |
| What's this? | ||
| I could not believe that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gotcha, bitch! | |
| I could not believe that. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he just did what he had to do, and he came in there injured, you know? | ||
| Oh, was that what it was? | ||
| Oh, yeah, he had a rib issue. | ||
| He looked like he was just out of it. | ||
| Well, that's why he let him take him down. | ||
| You know, he's like, you know, I could stand up with this guy, or I could just fucking barely fight off the takedowns. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| Yeah, if you can't take him down, but Chael Sonnen has the best double in this sport. | ||
| His running, charging double, dude. | ||
| He just takes motherfuckers down. | ||
| Even if Anderson was fully healthy, I don't know if he could stop that guy from taking him down. | ||
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| See, the thing about Chael Sonnen, dude, is Chael Sonnen, when he's right, and right now he's right. | ||
| He's one of the best on the planet, dude. | ||
| That wrestling is insane. | ||
| His top position, his boxing is fucking good. | ||
| When he caught Anderson with that straight left and wobbled him, look, I don't give a fuck what you say. | ||
| That's got to put some thoughts into a guy's head. | ||
| You got to go, charges at you, throws fucking clean, crisp punches, can take a shot, and his wrestling's ridiculous. | ||
| And now, after the Bryan Stan fight, oh, he's strangling people, too. | ||
| Now he started submitting people. | ||
|
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It's crazy. | |
| He's crazy. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And you want to talk about a guy talking shit and fucking with your head. | ||
| The greatest. | ||
| He's the best ever. | ||
|
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The greatest. | |
| Dana White said he's the best since Muhammad Ali. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| You know, Muhammad Ali was in a different world because he had a different flavor to him. | ||
| It was like a ridiculousness to him. | ||
| Which Chael sort of has a little bit of a ridiculous to him, but god damn, that dude's funny. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| And he's so prolific. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| He's always coming up with new ridiculous shit to say. | ||
| He's a stand-up comic. | ||
| He's unbelievable. | ||
| I wish they didn't hate him so much in Brazil, because he said a lot of crazy shit about Brazilians. | ||
| Well, he makes fun of Brazil. | ||
| I know, I know, I know, I know. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I mean, whatever. | ||
| I shouldn't say he probably shouldn't have done that, but now he can, you know, if he went there, I mean, it would probably suck for him. | ||
| Everywhere he goes, people would be screaming and yelling at him. | ||
| If he was ballsy enough to actually go there and fight him. | ||
| Well, is he going to fight Anderson Silva? | ||
| Is that going to be on the boat? | ||
|
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Who knows? | |
| He says no. | ||
| He said that he's got an announcement, and he said, my next move after Mark Munoz, what he said was, I don't know, but if I was George St. Pierre or John Jones, I'd take a real deep gulp right about now. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Chael Sonnen said that. | ||
| So he's insinuating that he will want to fight John Jones or George St. Pierre. | ||
| I take a real deep gulp right now. | ||
| He wants it! | ||
| He's a hilarious showman. | ||
| And since George just had knee surgery, and he had patella tendon graft knee surgery, which is particularly difficult to come back from. | ||
| Not difficult, but time-consuming, because you have... | ||
| It's like a year, right? | ||
| Well, you have, yeah. | ||
| It's a little more, I mean, every doctor has their own philosophy and doctors have their own specialty, but some doctors don't like to do it that way because they believe that it compromises the strength of the patella tendon and it makes the knee a little bit wigglier. | ||
| I have both. | ||
| I had this one done. | ||
| My left knee was done. | ||
| Patella tendon graft. | ||
| My right knee was done with a cadaver. | ||
| And the right knee came out way better. | ||
| Maybe it was a better doctor. | ||
| That's very possible. | ||
| But the guy that I did in New York was a top-notch guy that did New York Knicks and did basketball teams and shit. | ||
| He was supposed to be really good. | ||
| But it took a long time before that knee felt right again. | ||
| My right knee felt great in a few months. | ||
| Like four or five months, my right knee was fine. | ||
| It all depends. | ||
| The surgery is very different. | ||
| They take a chunk out of your bone and they slice your tendon. | ||
| They take a strip of that tendon and a chunk out of your shin bone so they pull it off intact in one thing and then they open you up and screw that in place and that becomes your new ACL. Yeah. | ||
| So he tore his ACL. Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He tore it. | ||
| He tore it training. | ||
| He heard it, and then he had to pull out of the Nick Diaz fight, or the Carlos Condit fight, whichever fight it was at that point in time. | ||
| I believe it was Carlos Condit. | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| It was Carlos Condit. | ||
| He pulled out of that fight, and then... | ||
| I really would have loved to have seen that Nick Diaz. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he kept trying to train, I guess. | ||
| And that's really what fucks you up. | ||
| You know, I have a little back injury, this little muscle pull. | ||
| It's where my floating rib head is. | ||
| It's like where it connects to where your scapula is. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| It's been a fucking pain in my ass for like a couple of months. | ||
| And the reason being, because it was hurting me, and I said, I'll just go and roll light. | ||
| And that's what you do. | ||
| Like when you have an injury, you have to, it's like driving your car with a flat tire. | ||
| Like, eh, just go slow. | ||
| Like you gotta be super smart in combat sports when you have an injury. | ||
| And George hurt his knee, he had to pull out of the fight, and then he tried training again too soon, and then he blew it. | ||
| And then it exploded on him. | ||
| You know, it just lost the ACL. Yeah. | ||
| That's what happens a lot of times. | ||
| You do damage to the knee, the knee will be compromised and weak, and then you hurt it again. | ||
| That's exactly what happened to me, in fact, on my first knee surgery. | ||
| In a four-hour body, that's why it says those Soviet coaches and some of those guys, the way they get you conditioned in Olympic condition, they make you walk really fast for 15 minutes. | ||
| And every day you have to cover more ground. | ||
| So walking is your aerobic exercise. | ||
| And if you walk speedwalk for 15 minutes as fast as you can, you'll get in the best shape of your life, especially if you do it uphill. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| If you get on a treadmill and put it at 4 miles an hour at 15 degrees incline, the highest incline, just try that shit sometime. | ||
| Try walking for 4 miles an hour for 15 minutes. | ||
| Tim Ferriss had a great article on his website about intelligence and efficiency over-training. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And how important it is to build up real endurance. | ||
| It's the whole deal. | ||
| All athletes now, they under-train. | ||
| What they found is that Dan Gable and those American wrestlers over-train. | ||
| What happens is you get injuries later on. | ||
| Even that stuff. | ||
| They have unstoppable mental strength because of it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Their ability to dominate competition. | ||
| No one has more mental strength in combat than wrestlers. | ||
| They're on another level, man. | ||
| The grittiness. | ||
| I went to Dan Gable's camp for two weeks, I remember, and I'm realizing, if this is what it takes to train in college, I don't want to fucking be a college wrestler. | ||
| I don't want to get up and sprint. | ||
| For an hour in the morning. | ||
| I was 17. I was like, fuck this. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| Then I came back my senior year and did pretty fucking well just because I'd been in Iowa. | ||
| Yeah, it was one of the reasons why I quit wrestling over Taekwondo. | ||
| When I was in high school, I was doing wrestling and Taekwondo, and wrestling made me so fucking tired. | ||
| I remember the first day after practice, we ran stadium stairs or something like that. | ||
| The first day after practice, I couldn't walk. | ||
| I was, like, walking in the hallways. | ||
| I would have to, like, stop for a second and, like, massage my upper thighs and then walk again. | ||
| Matches, matches. | ||
| Sometimes matches would go over time in an extra three minutes. | ||
| You thought you were going to fucking die. | ||
| I'll never forget that. | ||
| That is a young man when you wrestle. | ||
| Like, you know, I wrestled pretty, you know, it was my sport. | ||
| That fear of walking on that mat against somebody you don't know when you're 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, it does change you. | ||
| It really does force you. | ||
| I think even any sport, just playing basketball, anything, you have to step up. | ||
| In wrestling, you're alone. | ||
| Combat sports, when you're alone, it's a lonely place on that mat. | ||
| It is definitely, I think, more troubling or more taxing and more testing of your character. | ||
| Yeah, and then to go to Iowa to this intensive wrestling camp and you're around all these Midwestern animals and you're like, holy fuck. | ||
| You're ready to dedicate every moment of your life to wrestling. | ||
| Why does that 17-year-old have a fucking mustache? | ||
| Yeah, it's like, you know, one of the first times I ever saw a Matt Hughes fight. | ||
| I remember thinking, like, you know, and this is back when they used to let him wear wrestling shoes, okay? | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Good luck stopping that shot when he was wearing wrestling shoes. | ||
| And he was so fucking strong. | ||
| You know, Tiago told me he was the strongest guy he'd ever wrestled. | ||
| He said, Matt Hughes was the strongest person I'd ever... | ||
| Oh, I believe it. | ||
| You know, Matt Hughes tapped out fucking Brock Lesnar when they were training together? | ||
| No! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, he's a black belt level Brazilian jiu-jitsu artist. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He learned everything from Jeremy Horn and from MMA classes and catch wrestling. | ||
| He knows a lot of wrestling submissions, too. | ||
| The one he put Ricardo Almeida with, he put him out. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Ricardo, he got him in that... | ||
| It was the Schultz headlock. | ||
| And he just fucking cranked it down, did it beautiful, and put him out. | ||
| And Al May didn't even know. | ||
| He didn't even know he was in danger. | ||
| He didn't even freak out. | ||
| So strong. | ||
| Yeah, he's ridiculous. | ||
| So I remember watching when he first started fighting in the UFC. I'm just like, man, these guys are coming, man. | ||
| I always knew they were around. | ||
| I always knew from my time in wrestling, there was always guys that would go to the States and watch the best guys in the States go out to the division champions. | ||
| So fast and just so flexible. | ||
| We had a kid in our, when I was a sophomore, when I was a sophomore in high school, we had one kid that was in like national level, who smoked cigarettes too, by the way. | ||
| Yeah, Mark Collin. | ||
| And he was a great fucking guy, like a really intense, passionate dude. | ||
| And I remember one time, I believe the coach's name was Hurwitz. | ||
| I believe it was Hurwitz and the other guy was... | ||
| Fuck, the Irish... | ||
| Fuck, I can't remember his name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's driving me crazy. | |
| I'll send you a... | ||
| But hold on, hold on. | ||
| But this Mark Colling guy would have this fucking crazy practice and everybody would be dying, hands on their knees, and Colling would run across the fucking room and slide down on his knees and go, come on, let's go, who's next? | ||
| And just wanted to keep wrestling, wanted to keep going, wanted to keep drilling. | ||
| And the coach pointed at him and he goes... | ||
| There's guys like that in every weight class. | ||
| He goes, you better get that in your head. | ||
| There's guys like that in every weight class. | ||
| And I remember realizing myself, you know, being 14 years old or whatever I was, you know, I was either 14 or 15. And I was looking at him and I was going, my God, like this. | ||
| Yeah, you got to know. | ||
| You got to know that there's dudes out there that are willing to take it like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're willing to go that far. | ||
| That are superhuman. | ||
| Coach Murphy, that was the Irish guy. | ||
| And Murphy was always trying to get me to play football. | ||
| I'm like, bitch, are you crazy? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm a small person. | ||
| No way, football. | ||
| There was a dude on our wrestling team that was also playing football. | ||
| His name was Bob Baker. | ||
| He was 300 fucking pounds in high school. | ||
| Yeah, you were playing against those guys. | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| Yeah, and I wrestled 134. This fucking giant dude somehow had another squash on top of me. | ||
| Fuck that, man. | ||
| And hitting you with it. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| I tried football for one season and I was so afraid. | ||
| I just, seeing these huge guys run at me, I was like, I'm So dangerous, man. | ||
| I was made of paper. | ||
| It's such a dangerous sport. | ||
| I mean, people love it and everything like that, but charging into guys full clip. | ||
| Dude, your head's not made for that. | ||
| My 14-year-old nephew is 185 pounds, and he's 6'1", and he squats 285 for reps. | ||
| Okay, he's 14. He's a giant. | ||
|
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|
Jesus. | |
| And he plays football. | ||
| And I watched him play JV. He's only 14. And I watched those kids hit each other, and I was like, nobody's head's built for this. | ||
| I told his dad, I go... | ||
| Look, he's a monster. | ||
| Get him out of there. | ||
| Get him out of there. | ||
| Get him into fighting. | ||
| He plays guitar. | ||
| Let him play guitar. | ||
| They don't even know how bad the damage is until these guys die. | ||
| You remember that guy that fell off of his back of his girl's truck? | ||
| He had an old man's brain. | ||
| Yeah, he had an old man's rotten brain. | ||
| It showed all this degeneration. | ||
| He was 23. I think he was 25, but yeah, close enough. | ||
| I mean, it's insane. | ||
| These guys have been doing this through high school and college. | ||
| He wasn't even a lineman or a running back. | ||
| I have a friend who was a lineman, and he said back in the day when he was to play in college, they didn't allow you to use your hands. | ||
| So you couldn't push guys? | ||
| You would slam head-to-head with guys? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Does that make any sense? | ||
| You always use your hands. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| You always use your hands. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, is there anything different than what you couldn't do? | ||
| Because he was telling me that people would spike guys in the chest with their... | ||
| No, the big difference is that now, in football, you can't have helmet-to-helmet contact. | ||
| You can't do it deliberately. | ||
| So if you hit somebody, you tackle somebody, a lot of guys used to run at you, and they'd hit you with their helmet in the head. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Were you always allowed to use your hands and push guys, or were you going to have to block guys? | ||
| Do you have to block them? | ||
| On the line, You can use your hands. | ||
| But yeah, you typically held your hands this way. | ||
| But what are the rules? | ||
| Can you grab a guy and fucking judo his ass to the ground? | ||
| When you're on offense, you cannot do that. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| On defense, can you? | ||
| No holding on offense. | ||
| On defense? | ||
| On defense, you can grab and move. | ||
| You can pull people out of the way. | ||
| So on defense, if a dude's coming at you, you can judo his ass? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You can grab his clothes and fucking hip toss him? | ||
| Yeah, but it's really hard to do because those guys know what the fuck they're doing. | ||
| Yeah, no shit, right? | ||
| That's one of the craziest things when you see some nutty running back, one of those fucking freaks, one of those incredible specimens. | ||
| And I remember this one. | ||
| Adrian Peterson. | ||
| Dudes were trying to get a hold of him and he's spinning. | ||
| He keeps spinning. | ||
| Adrian Peterson. | ||
| They try to get a hold of him. | ||
| He just spins out of their hands. | ||
| Google Adrian Peterson sprinting with his shirt off. | ||
| There's a commercial. | ||
| And just take a look at the physicality. | ||
| A guy who's so fast. | ||
| He runs, I think, 27 miles an hour or something like that. | ||
| What is the human athlete going to look like a hundred years from now? | ||
| Because a lot of things going on, like Venus and Serena Williams, okay? | ||
| They're going to have sex and they're going to make a baby. | ||
| And I can only hope they have sex with some Olympic athlete motherfucker and we see what's possible. | ||
| And everybody just keeps doing that to the point where it just becomes the number one seed on the planet Earth and just see what is possible with this human form. | ||
| It's not going to come to that because we're going to have two things. | ||
| You're going to have... | ||
| Training methods, of course, and nutrition and all that. | ||
| Nanobots and shit, genetic engineering. | ||
| Yeah, science is going to step in and take care of everything that nature came up with. | ||
| Gene joping, gene manipulation, myostat inhibitors, all those things. | ||
| If we think that the stock market crash is a wake-up call, wait until the genetic crash comes. | ||
| We're going to have 400-pound linemen, 500-pound linemen. | ||
| We're going to have fucking women that are 10 feet tall squashing men on the head. | ||
| Can't wait! | ||
| Could you imagine if some woman became like a mad crazy man hater and they genetically engineered a way for her to be like a chack of the giants? | ||
| How big are her tits? | ||
| Giant tits. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to fuck her with your tiny little dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smother me! | |
| She's going to use you like a dildo and just grab you by your little asshole and stuff you inside her pussy. | ||
| Could you imagine if you could just decide, I want to be a 10 foot tall woman because men have been fucking with me, I'm just going to walk around kicking guys in the balls and shove them. | ||
| Well, meshing with other animals, your genetic structure with other animals, that's what's interesting. | ||
| The idea is, can you stop that technology from getting to that point, and can you keep it out of the hands of a person who would use it for a terrible thing? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Probably not, right? | ||
| You think everything... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I mean, there's laptops that we sit and use. | ||
| Just your phone. | ||
| Your phone has so much more power than anything that existed in the 1960s. | ||
| But everybody's going to have access to it, so everything is going to come up together, just like computers. | ||
| Right, but will there come a time where we have to stop people from becoming 10 foot tall, attacking the giant women, stomping on dudes and shit? | ||
| I mean, could you imagine if the manipulation of actual physical life, if it actually gets to a point where you can design what you want to look like, and like you can say, Mom, Dad, I've decided to be one of the blue people from Avatar, and you just decided. | ||
| The Pentagon is definitely trying to figure out ways to create super soldiers, whether it's cloning or tissue regenerations. | ||
| Forget about super soldiers. | ||
| How about things that don't even exist? | ||
| You can become a dragon. | ||
| I want to be a dragon. | ||
| That's what Craig Venter, the guy who created that synthetic biology, Craig Venter's team, the implications are in 20 years... | ||
|
unidentified
|
In which one is this? | |
| Is this the guy who had... | ||
| He's the guy who created... | ||
| It's made out of metal or is he the guy with silkworm? | ||
| No, he just created basically a synthetic form of bacteria that was basically whose genetic blueprint was created on a computer. | ||
| It's synthetic biology. | ||
| And the idea is that anything you can conceive of, a human being can make. | ||
| Do you know that scientists have been able to grow sperm in a laboratory dish? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| Your time is up, son. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Our time on this planet as men will no longer be useful. | ||
| It's just that biology is going to be an antiquated machine. | ||
| Well, somehow or another, it's going to be controlled by technology. | ||
| It's going to be some mad rush to see who can dominate whatever aspect of this new reality comes up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because if there's no morality and there's no humans that are in control of it, clearly it's going to get to a point where it's going to be wild, wild west for genetic manipulation. | ||
| Yeah, but also the idea is if you're going to live that long, what does that say about your earning power? | ||
| You've got to make a lot of fucking money for a long time. | ||
| You know that Apple's got, you know, we're not going to need to charge our phones anymore. | ||
| They have fuel cells. | ||
| That shit's going to blow up on your dick. | ||
| They have a patent for fuel cells and every two weeks you'll take a nitrogen cartridge and it'll be set for two weeks. | ||
| What? | ||
| I'm going to pee. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's going to be that crazy? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Why don't you just hold your pee and we'll wrap this bitch up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you guys know LA-based comic Angelo Bowers? | |
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He died today. | |
| I don't know if you know him. | ||
| He hung out at the comic store a lot and stuff like that. | ||
| I don't know the exact details, but I think he might have... | ||
| I've been in a car with another friend of ours who we talked about earlier in the podcast, Josh Adam Myers, and maybe a drunk driver hit him, but I don't know if that's real. | ||
| Do you have a picture? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Oh, let's say, rest in peace to Fat James, too. | ||
| I don't know that dude, but Fat... | ||
| Well, maybe I might have met him before. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| But Fat James, I knew very well. | ||
| You remember Fat James from the Comedy Store? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I sure do. | |
| He's one of the first people I met in Los Angeles. | ||
| No, he looks like Andrew Dice Clay, but squished and fat. | ||
| He was a jolly guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Very nice guy. | |
| Yeah, he passed away, unfortunately. | ||
| But, uh, he was a great dude. | ||
| So, rest in peace, Fat James. | ||
| Um, uh, thank you to Brian Callen for coming by, brother. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you for having me. | ||
| You're always, like, whenever I think, you know, you're just like Joey Diaz and Burt Kreischer or Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Whenever I think you're out of interesting shit to talk about, you come with a wave of new things and I swear, man, when you were talking about the Holocaust, I've always been aware of the Holocaust, of course, but there's something about the way you were describing it that it was shining like some extra light on how fucking crazy and barbaric it was. | ||
| You were saying it so eloquently, it really made me tune in to how chaotic and sane and disgusting and horrific it really was, man. | ||
| Yeah, it truly was. | ||
| And important to keep in mind also the lesson of the Holocaust is that it can happen again in some form or another. | ||
| Human beings, when you give people power over you, they'll take advantage of it. | ||
| And it sounds melodramatic, but something like the NDAA actually does that. | ||
| It's not what the Constitution... | ||
| It's certainly the first step. | ||
| It's not how it was founded. | ||
| It's certainly the first step. | ||
| The people who founded this country knew that shit could go wrong. | ||
| So they had a bunch of things in place. | ||
| And one of the things that Benjamin Franklin said, and you should never forget this, that he who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither. | ||
| That's a good way to end this podcast. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Say that again. | ||
| He who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither. | ||
| Outstanding. | ||
| They knew back then, man, someone's going to play a shell game on you, man. | ||
| Outstanding. | ||
| They're going to tell you, there's some bad people out there. | ||
| We need to look at your email to protect you from them. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Those fucks. | ||
| Get your own porn. | ||
| Thank you to... | ||
| Liberty. | ||
| Liberty. | ||
| Liberty and justice for all. | ||
| One of the most important things that people forget. | ||
| Individual liberty, too. | ||
| That's in the goddamn Constitution. | ||
| All right? | ||
| It's in the Bill of Rights. | ||
| It's in the idea that this country was founded on. | ||
| They got away from a system that sucked, and they said, let's make one for the fucking people. | ||
| By the people. | ||
| For the people. | ||
| By the people. | ||
| And now it's become for the corporations. | ||
| And lobbying groups. | ||
| And lobbying groups. | ||
| And cunts. | ||
| It's for the cunts. | ||
| We could just stop the cunts. | ||
| We could be okay. | ||
| Four little words! | ||
| Statue of Liberty, Fleshlight. | ||
| Stop the cunts. | ||
| I'm going to start fucking training. | ||
| I'm going to go to Nick Diaz's camp and just start boxing. | ||
| They'll kill you. | ||
| Oh, they will? | ||
| They'll kill you. | ||
| No, they'll be nice to you, sure. | ||
| I'll make them laugh. | ||
| Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast, as always. | ||
| Everything we sponsor, everything always. | ||
| We will never sponsor anything that we don't believe in. | ||
| And both Brian and I, and even Brian Callen, have fucked these things, and I'm telling you, it's way better than beating off, and you know you're going to beat off. | ||
| Stop playing games. | ||
| Just go ahead and order one. | ||
| And when you're nutting your little fake vagina thing, and you're like, ugh, you'll be like, Joe Rogan was right! | ||
| This is awesome! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I usually go, ugh, ugh! | |
| I got fucking crazy silverback when I come. | ||
| You know what, I think I sound like I stubbed my toe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, oh, fuck my toe! | |
| I like to let chicks know it's in them. | ||
| Oh, before you end, quickly. | ||
| Jimmy Burke, I heard him having sex one time, and he goes, Oh! | ||
| Oh! | ||
| God bless America! | ||
| That's what he did when he blew. | ||
| That's Jimmy Burke. | ||
| I was like, Jesus, Jim. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood. | ||
| All different types of supplements for different things. | ||
| Alpha Brain is a cognitive enhancing supplement. | ||
| New Mood is a serotonin boosting supplement. | ||
| And then, of course, Shroom Tech Sport is the one that's for people who are seriously into working out. | ||
| If you're not, skip that. | ||
| And then Shroom Tech Immune is a fascinating one where it fires up your immune system because it recognizes the mushroom that you're eating as some sort of a possible threat. | ||
| And then it gears up for a fight that never takes place, leaving you with a charged immune system. | ||
| Pretty wicked, from what I understand. | ||
| But I don't understand any of this shit. | ||
| I'm just talking out of my ass. | ||
| I just work here. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off all that shit. | ||
| And always, everything on it is 100% money back guarantee. | ||
| If you don't like it, Just fucking tell us and you get your money back. | ||
| You don't even have to send in the product. | ||
| And on top of that, if you like the idea of it, if you think it costs too much money, please buy it in bulk. | ||
| Find the ingredient list online. | ||
| It's in the exact dose. | ||
| And make it yourself. | ||
| I am much more concerned with people not feeling ripped off. | ||
| I don't really care if you buy it or not. | ||
| Buy it. | ||
| Don't buy it. | ||
| But if you want to buy it, get it at Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Okay, January 27th, the Chicago Theater is still not quite sold out. | ||
| The whole bottom is gone. | ||
| Now they opened up a new top layer. | ||
| So there's still some tickets left. | ||
| It's going to be me, Duncan Trussell, and Joey Diaz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dream, Captain. | |
| That's the day before the UFC in Chicago. | ||
| The Chicago Theater is actually where the weigh-ins are. | ||
| So we're going to go there for the weigh-ins. | ||
| I'm going to emcee the weigh-ins. | ||
| Then we've got a show that night. | ||
| Should be a bitchin' time. | ||
| One-two combo, too. | ||
| Duncan Trussell and Joey Diaz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've got a show Friday also at the Ice House. | |
| Powerful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Am I in that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, Friday the Ice House, bitches. | ||
| And the Ice House Chronicles, which is only available on Death Squad, the Death Squad label on iTunes. | ||
| It's free, as always. | ||
| All of our podcasts are free. | ||
| We're committed. | ||
| You will never see my podcast cost you money. | ||
| It's just always going to be this. | ||
| There's some ads in there, and some of them are a little hokey, and some are a little verbose, but whatever, bitch. | ||
| You don't have to buy anything. | ||
| Why am I justifying anything? | ||
| I just want to tell everybody, thank you, everybody who came out for New Year's because it was a fucking awesome vibe in the room, man. | ||
| And I had a great fucking time. | ||
| And I appreciate the shit out of all of you people. | ||
| There's never been a time ever in my life where I had people that would come to see my shows that get me more. | ||
| You know, I mean, having this sort of a... | ||
| Don't you feel like that too now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| Brian Callum was just telling me about this because of the podcast. | ||
| People know who the fuck he is. | ||
| They understand him now. | ||
| And it's just the coolest resource ever. | ||
| And we appreciate the fuck out of you guys. | ||
| I just want to let you know we've tuned in to a really awesome group of human beings out there. | ||
| And every one of my shows, people say that. | ||
| All the waitstaffs are always saying how generous everybody is and how nice everybody is and how smart everybody is and there's no douchebags. | ||
| And that means the world to me. | ||
| That means everything. | ||
| That means we're putting out the right vibe. | ||
| You guys are giving out the right vibe. | ||
| It's spreading, you dirty hookers. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| Follow Brian Callen on Twitter. | ||
| B-R-Y-A-N Callen. | ||
| And Brian Reichel is, of course, Redband. | ||
| R-E-D-B-A-N. Hello! | ||
| That's it. | ||
| We'll see you, Dirty Freaks, most likely Thursday with some fantastic new guest. | ||
| Not sure who. | ||
| We're going to try to fit a girl in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that one girl. | |
| We need to get a girl in. | ||
| We haven't had a girl in a while. | ||
| Chicks are complaining. | ||
| Girls have things to save you! | ||
| And of course, Kelly Carlin, too, who's George Carlin's daughter. | ||
| I want to get her in as well. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, it comes highly recommended by Kevin Smith. | ||
| You said she was awesome. | ||
| And other than that, that's it. | ||
| Friday night at the Ice House will sell out. | ||
| It's a very small place. | ||
| It's only 85 seats, and we do it all the time. | ||
| And it's going to be the best of the best, whoever's in town. | ||
| You in town Friday night? | ||
| I am not in town. | ||
| Bitch, where you at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You on the road? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, whoever's there, it's always like Joey Diaz, Doug Benson. | ||
| There's a lot of great comics there. | ||
| I'll be there the next one. | ||
| Didn't you be there at the next one? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| This fucking show's over. | ||
| Thank you very much for everything. | ||
| All you guys, we're on this thing together. | ||
| Write it. | ||
| Write it. | ||
| Suck it. |
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