Daniele Bolelli, author of 50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know About Religion (published by Disinfo), explores religion’s origins—from "Mammoth Porn" rituals to the Song of Solomon’s erotic placement in the Bible—while critiquing Western monotheism’s aggression. Joe Rogan compares evolutionary pressures to war and religion, jokes about cognitive supplements like AlphaBrain, and defends comedy’s boundaries, referencing Patrice O’Neal’s wit. They debate extremism, citing threats against critics like "Draw Muhammad Monday" proponents, and discuss fear’s role in combat sports, praising fighters like Sakuraba. Rogan mispronounces Bolelli’s name repeatedly, teasing his upcoming book release amid sponsor plugs for Onnit and The Fleshlight, before ending with a comedic farewell. [Automatically generated summary]
Yeah, that was kind of like the formula for this book too.
Their whole idea was I submitted to them this giant book I've been working on, 400 pages long with footnotes, all this stuff about religion.
And they were like, Yeah, that's sweet and old, but seriously, can you give us something quick and that funny, weird, that has an impact right away that people, as you put it, can read on the toilet and get on something intense but quick?
It's very difficult for people to discipline themselves to read any serious piece of work on anything.
When you're just simply stating the facts and documenting things, it's oftentimes a dry read, even though it's fascinating information.
So they're really clever in their idea of just, you know, figuring out a way to get it.
And then, you know, probably once people read this book, get familiar with your writing, get into you, then maybe they'll dive into, like, some of your more serious stuff, right?
Yeah, even serious is a big word, because I had, even in the big book, I had one of the chapters about the existence of God begins with a woman having a screaming orgasm.
So, I mean, it can only be so serious, you know?
But I guess it was...
The idea was, no, let's do something else.
They have a series going.
The 50 things you're not supposed to know.
It works well for them.
They want to do something on religion.
And initially, because I was so attached to the other project, I was like, ah, screw it.
I don't want to do it.
When they told me the magic word advance, suddenly I was gone.
Milan, which, by the way, I want to apologize to your listeners, because I've been living here, believe it or not, I've been living here 20 years, and when I first moved here, I swear I was speaking almost decent English, but then somebody brought to my attention that many American women like my weird Italian accent.
And I get the same feeling when I'm drinking coffee that I do when I smoke too much cigarettes, where it feels like my body is craving it, but I get a headache kind of from it.
No, I'm fascinated by it because you see how much it means to people, how much their whole worldview, their life, their priorities, who they marry, who they want to hang out with.
Everything depends on the kind of stuff they put in their head based on religion.
But then again, the thing is, the stuff that drives all this is that people are scared of dying, and rightfully so, because we don't control jack shit, we don't know anything about anything really about how the universe works.
You're not going to get paid as much money anymore.
unidentified
They've been on a tear lately.
Are they cleaning house, or is this the PC cops run amok?
You know what it is, John.
You know what it is while you're reading that paper.
It's the PC cops run amog.
Who's the PC cop?
Of course she is.
She has an entire encyclopedia of her stance on it, but it's no passion involved.
It's not a real...
This is just what she has to say.
We are outraged and fired and fired and fired.
Name-calling.
I'm outraged.
I am outraged.
You should be.
I am a fool.
Now, if I called you a fool...
You know what?
Who are these people?
Who are the people?
Here's my question.
How can you justify a bad joke, a joke that isn't funny?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
An attempt that isn't funny, doesn't get any laughs, and is about raping the first black woman to ever become the Secretary of State of the United States.
Don't throw that at me.
Well why not?
Attempt is what I'm trying to fight for.
Funny jokes and unfunny jokes come out of the same birth.
You don't know if anything is going to be funny.
You should attempt to be able to make anything funny.
Don't you think a joke about rape is doomed to be not funny?
It's possible, but I've heard them.
Have you heard a funny rape joke?
I'd say a couple.
Watch my scale special.
I'm pretty good at it.
Patrice says that if you're having sex with a woman, doggy style, and if you...
She's saying doggy style!
No, it's ejaculate in her eye and kick her in the shin, and she walks around like, argh!
It's the angry pirate!
That's what she was trying to say!
It's called the donkey crunch!
Why are you laughing?
She's outrageous!
It's called humor that she has no clue what it is.
We have the same problem that Opie and Anthony does.
You can't say just anything on the air.
You can say anything you want.
It might not be funny.
You might get in trouble for it, but you should be able to be attempting.
And plus, when is a crazy bum going to get an opportunity to rape the president's wife, John?
It was trying to be funny.
All right, Patrice, why aren't I hearing Al Sharpton complain about this thing involving Congress?
Because it wasn't involving young black women.
Well, it was involving a very prominent black woman.
Well, where was she during young black...
Everybody has their agenda.
I was there.
I was there.
Oh, I'm sorry.
All right, excuse me.
But why am I not hearing some Sharpton?
Because it doesn't concern him.
It's not concerning him.
It's black.
Come on now.
You know Al Sharpton has his agenda and it was perfect for Al.
Young black women.
And now she's representing just women in general.
She's not representing the nappy-ho part.
She's representing just the hoe.
The nappy-headed part, she has nothing to do with it.
Just the hoe.
You know what?
Women have been abused publicly in the media for too long, and people are tired of it.
This has been a beautiful response of just the general public saying to advertisers, we're your consumers.
We don't want to have to avoid everything in the street.
We don't want to have to worry about what radio station we turn on.
And there is some really derogatory, violent You're going to get all your information, ma'am, is secondhand from someone making you aware that someone may have said something that you should be upset about.
That's a shame.
The people you represent aren't all victims in this matter.
Yeah, because I mean, with religion, if you read even like early 1900s, people are thinking, okay, now with modernity, we're in a modern world, a more secular world, all the kind of more traditional superstitions are all going to phase out.
I mean, it makes sense on the surface, but not really, because until you have the answers to the things that make people really freak out, dying, grief, what the hell, you know, because I mean, our life is so short, and we don't know jack shit about before or after.
Until you give some people some answers, people are not comfortable having no answers.
No matter how bullshit those answers are, they need them.
It's almost like religion is some sort of an evolutionary device, like a bridge to take us from being monkeys to being enlightened beings.
Like we need some horseshit to get us through this.
We need a belief.
No one ever wants to think of the concept of life being that it may be that you have lived this exact life before and you will live it over and over again until you get it right.
And the idea that this could go on into infinity.
And that might be what life really is.
We don't think of it As being possible because it's too hard for our minds to wrap around and too alien to what we absolutely know to exist, like birth and death and having a certain amount of time here to get things done and seeing people die.
The actual possibility is almost like it's too fucked up for us, so somebody had to invent religion in order to just patch up the road till we make it there.
I had a bit in one of my past albums about if you ever are starting to take your life seriously, just stand out and go outside and just look up at space and just really wrap your head up.
I mean, everybody looks, oh, there's a star.
Stars are bright tonight.
But very few people actually look up and go, wow, you know, that literally is infinity.
Like, we're floating in infinity, and it's the majority of what I see, you know, all around the top.
It's easier to see infinity than it is to see the ground.
I mean, I have more view of the infinity.
Like, it's amazing how rarely that comes up.
No one talks about it.
It's too much.
So we just sort of accept that we live in space and accept that we look at the clouds.
I have a chapter in there that I had half of the fun of doing this book was coming up with the titles, because in a few words, you just throw out something outrageous and weird that gets things going.
And let me see if I remember what this one exact was, because I had a blast with the origins of religion.
This one I have a chapter entitled Mammoth Porn and the Caveman's Epop, The Origins of Religion.
Because the very first evidence that archaeologists suggest this may be the beginning of religious behavior, they see these cave paintings left by cavemen where the main things that these guys were drawing were hunting scenes and animals having sex.
The idea being these guys were doing these rituals because their life was on the line to ensure success in the hunt.
And then, you know, animals are dead, so you need to make sure there are more for the next time around.
So you're trying to send out the vibes so that the animals have sex, there's more of them, and so on.
And what they would do, again, this is pure speculation because who the hell knows, but it's a fun speculation.
Archaeologists suggest that they would have these rituals in front of this painting where they would mimic hunting and then they would mimic, you know, caveman and cavewoman having grindy, sweaty, dancing, semi-sex, kind of like modern hip-hop kind of thing.
And that would be the beginning of religion because they are trying to influence the universe so that the animals have more sex and there's more of them to come along the next time.
A lot of that is actually tied to religion because the first way to kind of dehumanize somebody is, I mean...
With all Western religions, they have this division between God and the devil, absolute good and absolute evil, heaven and hell.
So there are the good guys who follow God, and then there's everybody else.
Because, I mean, if there's only one right way, then the idea is anybody who doesn't follow ours, by default, is on the wrong side.
And if you take that a couple of steps further, then that's what it leads to in the idea of You guys are the servants of the devil.
You're not really human anyway.
So, slaughtering you left and right is an act of justice.
That's one of my favorite.
I use this in class all the time because I have a blast.
Everybody, even if they never read any of this stuff, heard about the whole story about Moses and the Ten Commandments and so on.
And after that, I ask my students about what happens right after that story, because that's where it gets juicy.
And they're like, I don't know, oh, there wasn't golden calf or some crap, like some of the Jews are not worshipping the one God.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's right.
And what does Moses do about it right after getting the Ten Commandments?
Like, I don't know.
He gathers the loyalists, you know, the strict monotheistic people who are still on his side.
He tells them, hey guys, you know, those are our friends, they are our neighbors, some of them are family, but they are worshipping other gods.
We can't have that, so you know what to do.
Get your weapons, let's go from one side to the camp of the other and kill them all.
And so right after the Ten Commandments, you have a nice story of some 3,000 Jewish tribes who have been hacked to death by the monotheistic Jews against the polytheistic Jews.
Yeah, it's amazing, too, how many of the stories are, like, really similar to older stories from other religions.
You know, like, the one that always got me was the Epic of Gilgamesh and the story of Noah and the Ark.
They're so similar.
It's like...
It's like, really, it's like, I wonder what really happened.
And my speculation, it's totally speculation, is there probably was some sort of a great catastrophe a long time ago.
But of course, in every giant tsunami or flood, it's not everyone that dies.
Some people are going to live.
And the people that live, they're going to have to have some story for how they lived.
And, you know, a couple generations in, when everybody's still living like a monkey...
You know, running around collecting fruit and trying to get their goats to fuck so they can kill them and eat them, you know, and just wondering how they got, like, we seem really intelligent.
Like, how did we get to this shitty point?
Like, how come none of you fucks have figured out tools or clothing or houses or anything yet?
Well, a long time ago, Noah was the only person, and we are the children of Noah.
They don't even take into account that, you know, how many people were with Noah?
Everybody came from Noah?
Where do black people come from?
What about Chinese people?
How does that happen?
How long does it take for...
I mean, Noah only supposedly was a couple thousand years ago, right?
That's actually funny that you bring it up because it's one of the ways in which I bring up sources when we talk about religion in class.
And I bring up, when I speak of the Bible, I tell them, you know, how do you know that this is the real stuff?
And I tell them, you know, really, we have been talking about an oral traditions for generations before anybody write them down.
And so I ask them, have you guys ever played Operator?
You know, do you know how that works?
And then you end up...
So picture playing operator for maybe 50 years, and then you record all the answers, and then 200 years later somebody come around and look at the answer and decide which ones are true and which ones are not, and that's the word of God for you.
Well, how about the fact that, you know, like, even the shit that was written down, when they wrote it down in ancient Hebrew, ancient Hebrew is a very bizarre language, and it doesn't have, they don't have numbers.
So letters double as numbers.
So there's a numerical meaning to words.
There's a different grasp to the words that we can really barely comprehend.
And these words, numerical content was very important.
The word God and the word love, they have the same numerical content.
And there was a translation from that to Latin and then to Greek.
And if they're doing that, I mean, Jesus Christ, what are they going to...
I mean, how do you even know what the fuck was the original work?
And even that is bullshit because they only say that about the Old Testament when the Old Testament is so obviously over the top nuts that it's embarrassing.
But then anytime it says something that they want that's not in the New Testament, it's like, hey, it's in the Bible.
But I'm like, no, wait, that's the book you just told me that it doesn't count.
No, but when it says something I like, then it counts.
Wanting some kind of absolute answer where there is none, it just shows that you are so damn fearful that you just want to ignore any evidence in order to decide, I need some certainty.
It's bizarre enough that you use your eyeballs to judge distance.
You have these fucking organs inside your skull that measure light and distance, and they figure out exactly, precisely how far away you are from things.
And that allows you to get in metal boxes with rubber wheels.
That's just as bizarre as coming back as a baby in the 50s.
No, it was like I got involved with just about everything else completely by chance.
I mean, I was into it.
I would read it for myself.
I would read mainly a lot of Eastern philosophy and stuff like that that I was into, but I would read for the hell of it.
And somebody then one day asked me, hey, man, we need somebody to teach this thing.
Can you do it?
I'm like, no, not really.
And they're like, No, but come on, you're kind of a renaissance man.
You know a lot of shit.
Do it.
I'm like, okay, sure.
And I jump on and I'm like, yeah, I love this stuff.
This is fun.
I got to talk about all the stuff I like and this is awesome.
And so then I started reading more and more.
But I mean, yeah, I read my stuff before to begin with.
In the moment of pure perversion, I decided to read the entire Bible cover to cover when I was 18. Oh, wow.
Painful experiences of my life, but it's woke me up, though, when I got to this part, the Song of Solomon.
I don't know how the hell that book ended up in the Bible.
It's awesome.
It's like one of the best things.
All of a sudden, you have 10, 15, I forgot how many pages, where they don't mention God once.
They don't mention priests.
They don't mention anything.
It's just this super passionate, erotic love poem between a man and a woman.
A woman who enjoys sex as well is also from her point of view, which is completely unheard of in the rest of the Bible.
And it's just this celebration of sex, essentially.
And it's just like, always like, how the hell did this end up in there, you know?
And my theory is that one of the guys who are copying all the scriptures got drunk one night and took the wrong scroll and got his homemade porn there and put it in there by mistake.
He believes that the entire works of the Christian religion were originally mushroom.
It was about mushroom eating and psychedelic drugs and Ritual sex and about a fertility rituals and making sure that they they kept breeding and that you know women kept having babies.
He tracks down the word mushroom or the word Jesus rather to an ancient Sumerian word.
The roots of it being an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen.
and that the idea he believes and this is me he's making a big reach that I don't think unless you have some sort of serious education in language history could totally even grasp the argument but what he's saying is that what they used to call mushrooms It was like God would come on the earth when it would rain.
And then mushrooms would grow out of that.
They would eat them.
They'd have these incredible psychedelic experiences because of that.
And so that was Christ.
So Christ was a mushroom that was covered in God's semen.
You have religions around the world where anything from peyote to ayahuasca to a lot of psychedelic substances, amenita muscaria, the mushroom itself, a bunch of things that have been central to people's religion because they open up all these worlds and so on.
And they've never thought that people were capable of doing this.
But now they're thinking that up to 40,000 years ago, people were getting in boats, and they were going hundreds of miles into the ocean.
And they were catching tuna, dude.
TUNA! 40,000 years ago, they were in boats catching tuna.
They have no idea that people were doing that.
This is a complete new revelation.
It's like going to rewrite history.
What kind of fishing line do you have that you're making 42,000 years ago that you can pull a fucking thousand pound tuna out of hundreds of feet of water and you got a hook and some meat?
What is going on, man?
How is that possible?
We might have to rewire or rewrite the whole...
I have a very strong feeling that over the next few years there's going to be more and more evidence like this that makes people want to push back the origins.
Have you heard of Gobekli Tepe?
This new structure that they found in Turkey is another one where they're thinking they're going to have to push back the origins of civilization because it's at least 12,000 years old and it's these huge sculpted stone columns and They have all these animals that are drawn on it that don't even exist in Turkey.
So these animals weren't even supposed to be in the fossil record from back then.
So the belief is, what they're trying to say now is that this was made by hunter and gatherers.
And a lot of people are going, come on, man.
Like, what the fuck is this?
This is giant.
Just the fact that someone made something like this 13,000 years ago when we never thought people were making stuff like this...
We might have to go, wait a minute.
How much of this is really left over?
Is there a bunch of stuff we haven't found yet?
And if there is and we do find it, eventually there's going to be a point in time where they're going to have to say, I think we've been around longer than we think.
That's why we are rewriting history all the time because, I mean, that's why, you know, you read history books and you have, like, the last 50 years is this thick and then the first 20,000 years is like, okay, we were here for a while and then 50 years ago this happened and it's like, okay, because we don't know much.
Any kind of psychedelic experience is very individual.
You know, it's hard to build that church on it in a sense that it's hard to have a dogma because it changes so much from one experience to the next, from one person to the next.
And people, bottom line, love dogma.
That's the thing that reassures them.
Direct experience doesn't reassure them because they have to base it on their own feelings, on their own instinct, on their own, and it's too scary for people.
You know, you hear people talk so much shit about how we like freedom.
Most people are terrified of freedom.
Most people hate freedom.
They like the idea of being free, but they run to their chains anytime they can because they need something to keep them safe, to make them feel like, you're okay, little boy.
Martial arts, how long it took for people super attached to this is how we do things, this is the truth of combat, when in martial arts you can try it.
It's not like a religion where there's not as much direct evidence.
You can try it and still people would stick their head in the sand and not want to see it that some shit just didn't work.
I think one of the things I tell them is that, hey man, I'm not telling you anything about any single one religion, because within any religion there's so much variation that they disagree just about everything among Christians, among Muslims.
I'm just making a general point about where a certain belief has led to.
Do you want to identify with that?
Good for you.
You don't, but I'm not saying your religion equal this.
Well, you're a smooth talker, and you obviously are well-educated, so the words come out nice, and you're basically talking about the Bible, and their little brains lock up.
Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't want to believe that it's a biological issue.
A lot of people want to believe that it's an education issue or an environmental issue or a cultural issue.
And it may be, but it also might be biological.
Look, there's people that are born and they're seven feet tall.
There's people that are born and they have giant dicks.
There's a great variation of human beings.
When I just see this giant wave of sloth, you see a giant percentage of people in this country, I don't know if it's 20%, I don't know what the number is, we just look at them like, my God, you're barely thinking.
You're barely a person.
Are you just lazy?
Or do you have a 9-volt battery kicking inside your fucking head?
They might have a 9-volt battery.
They might have shit genes and a poor database to draw from genetically.
No one in their genes and ancestry has ever been any different than them.
And they've gotten this far, so there's no need to adapt.
Yeah, so it's like, you know, you come across a wild pig, or you come across a pig that's in a pen, and they're completely different animals.
I got upset because a couple people accused me of stealing the idea for that bit that I had for my special, the bit about dumb people outbreeding smart people.
And second of all, my special came out before that movie came out.
And it was something I worked on for years before the special.
It's just that, you know, everybody's had that thought.
So because of that, I bought it and I never watched it.
I didn't want to see how close it is to my shit.
You are pissed about it.
You get in these defending yourself.
There's no need to defend yourself.
It's gross.
That's one of the things about communicating with people online is the anonymity.
Sometimes you're dealing with people.
You're just dealing with, like, why are you behaving this way?
Why are you communicating this way?
The only reason why people would communicate that way is because there's a lack of social repercussions.
There's no...
You don't feel it.
It's like the reason why people in their car can give you the fuck you when they wouldn't do that if they were just in the street a few feet from you.
But in a car right next to you, because there's a window and because there's a door and a window and a door and some space in between that, they're like, fuck you, you fucking bitch.
Why you wouldn't do that in person?
You'd be a crazy person to do that in person.
But there's a detachment because of the automobiles.
We can't feel each other.
We don't see each other.
We're separated by some shit.
We know that it's safe.
It's the same feeling that you feel when you're at the zoo.
And you don't feel uncomfortable when you're standing next to a fucking bear.
You're supposed to be shitting your pants when you're looking at a bear, man.
That is not normal to get comfortable looking at a bear.
You should be terrified, man.
That fucking thing is only a few feet from you.
You trust that glass?
Let's get out of here!
Yeah, man.
It's the repercussions of dealing with people on the internet.
I think honestly, right now I've been burning the candle on both hands so I don't know that I have to answer to that because I don't think I've been doing a good job at it.
I think I've been handling things but I'm feeling lately my body kind of giving me signals like, hey man, you're going over the edge.
Workout has always been my thing but then again when you don't have the physical time anymore so I need to find the times to do it and so that's kind of what I'm working on being able to just train again and do all this stuff because I mean with martial arts I've been doing it 20 years it's been like one of the things that you do day in and day out forever and suddenly you don't do that anymore you're like oh shit your body goes through withdrawal you feel weird so it's key to do it because it doesn't matter how busy you get it's key to your health in a way Yeah,
You know, and I had always used martial arts for blowing off steam.
And now, all of a sudden, I was at this place where I was like, wow, I just, you know, I'm not in control of my emotions as well.
I have a short temper.
I don't feel my body the same way.
When you use your body a lot, you develop this real tight relationship with your body, like how it moves.
And it makes you want to eat healthy.
It makes you want to take care of it because you realize that it's communicating with you.
It's communicating with you through movement, through your desire and intent to do something and its actual ability to perform what your desire and intent is.
You communicate when you require your body to move in very specific ways.
There's a consciousness to that that's very uniquely its own.
The consciousness of the full focus and concentration of someone utilizing their body.
Because I really do believe that that is an element of the whole and that you have to, in order to be optimally healthy, you have to have the whole together.
You have to have the mind must be healthy, the consciousness must be healthy, the body must be healthy.
Yeah, and I went through a long period.
It was like six months, you know, rehabbing my knee after the surgery and everything like that, where I still couldn't kick a bag, I couldn't box, I couldn't run.
Well, I think, you know, there's definitely a mindset to the Eastern martial arts that is being lost in the transition to combat sports, you know, to look at combat sports.
There's something to be gained from that mindset.
What people don't understand is that, like, the ancient Japanese martial arts masters, you know, the reason why they practiced Zen thinking wasn't because It's just, you know, a thing they did that, you know, really doesn't need to be replicated today.
No, what they were doing was, in order to have a way, in order to have a way of thinking of life, they were disciplining the mind to behave on very specific frequencies and to have control over itself.
And that in your discipline and in your honor and your code, you have control over your emotions, you have control over your body better.
You have control over your psyche better because you have an ethic, because you have a code.
And that there's a reason for that.
It benefits you in combat.
It benefits you to be sturdy of mind.
So in order to practice this mental discipline, it actually puts you in a better position for victory.
Some guys are, you know, you read Chuck Liddell or Randy, these guys who speak, they don't know what it means to be afraid.
I'm like, what the fuck do you mean?
It's like the scariest thing in the world.
This guy has been training forever to knock your head off.
So I walked up and the days before, the time when I step on the mat, I feel like everything in my body is shutting down.
I'm about to die kind of feeling, you know.
Everything freezes and And so I can see how the whole Zen thing is not about having some strange mystical thought, it's about how do you deal with the fact that this is what you're gonna do, and you do it without too much attachment, because attachment will breed fear, fear will shut you down, and then you'll get killed.
But at the same time, it's like the most instructive thing in the world because it teaches you to get rid of attachments.
Because, you know, you live with attachment of fears and all these things about you hope that the universe is not gonna do this and that to you.
And the reality is, in combat, like in life, you don't control jack shit.
You do the best you can and then it's out of your hands and you need to be able to live through it despite the obvious fear that kicks in from self-preservation.
And so it's like, hey man, maybe you die in a second.
In my opinion, the best example of technique over power that this guy, Minotaro, this 230 pound guy was ever to beat this 350 plus pound monster of a man who didn't even look real.
That is an amazing, amazing fight.
And that's a guy, Minotauro, he's a real martial artist.
He's a real, like, true warrior.
You know, a guy who became a master of jiu-jitsu and then became a great striker to add on to it and was just willing to fight anybody.
And I think it started way back in the day because, I mean, when he was, I forget, 10, 11, whatever, when he had a car accident and he was in a hospital for a year where they tell him you'll never walk again.
Maybe you'll walk, but maybe definitely no sports.
And the guy goes on to become an MMA champion.
It's like, let's say something about the guy's personality.
I remember when he was at the top of his game, man, when he was triangling everybody, and you just saw jiu-jitsu on a level that you had never seen before.
All of a sudden, this badass heavyweight who was tough as fuck, who had a wicked guard, a wicked jiu-jitsu game, was hitting...
Anaconda chokes on dudes and fucking strangle him from his back.
And you're like, whoa, this dude is on another level.
That was, to me, a real victory for technique in mixed martial arts.
In my opinion, Minotauro embodies this era where people learn, whoa, that's possible too.
We were not seeing guys on the highest levels submitting guys the way Minotauro was.
He's so awesome.
How about the crow cup fight?
He gets...
Battered by Krokop in the first round.
Fucking smashed.
He gets head kicked by the guy who knocked out everybody with head kicks.
And somehow or another, he eats it and he's okay.
And he gets up at the bottom of the round.
At the end of the round, he gets head kicked and dropped like seconds before the round ends.
And he thought the referee stopped the fight.
And the referee's like, nope, the round's over.
He's like, okay, let's stop this fucking fight.
And he goes back and he takes him down and he armbars him in the second round.
And that last one when he got knocked out and Vanderlei caught him with two punches and literally sent him flying through the air as he skid unconscious on his back.
I mean, even when he was broken up, when was that, like a year ago or two years ago, when he had the fight with Galezig, I think he was, where he put the guy in the kneebar and the guy hit him like 50 straight times, no protection, and the guy stayed with it so he could get the kneebar and win the fight.
And for people who don't know what that means, when you wrestle a lot or you get hit in the ear a lot, when it breaks up the tissue, it fills up with fluid and blood and then it hardens.
It becomes almost like cartilage, like really thick stuff.
You have to have that shit cut out.
And a lot of guys, they get an ear that becomes like this.
It literally looks like a mouse is under their skin.
And that's what it looked like with Sakuraba.
The whole thing was deformed.
Randy Couture actually uses his in grappling because it's hard.
So when he takes guys down, he'll actually shove his ear into parts of them and make them uncomfortable.
He'll fucking jab them with his ears, man.
Those are hard weapons on the side of his head.
It's really kind of crazy.
Sakuraba's ear was really fucked up, and it always had tape on it.
It was always getting cut in training and shit.
And this dude hit him with something.
I forget what he hit him with, but the fucking ear was hanging off of his head.
Yeah, it was just hanging off.
And Zoromsky was like, dude, your fucking ear!
Like, he even stopped fighting.
unidentified
He was like, whoa, dude, you might want to look at that.
You know, there's something funny about Japanese culture because they are so by the book in so many ways, but when the guys go off the model, they really go off.
And the wife is starting to get into yoga and the dude is experimenting with a bunch of different things and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in the world.
...and going up to another aquarium that's in the same room and eating fish and then climbing back in its aquarium.
Yeah.
The reason why I know this...
I haven't seen it, but the reason why I know this is because a friend was trying to...
Explain to me how intelligent octopuses are, that they can take food and put it in a jar, and the octopus will unscrew the jar and get at the food.
And that a guy was missing some of his tropical fish, and he had a couple of fish tanks, and one of them was right next to, you know, the octopus was right next to this one with, like, this is a really expensive fish.
This fucking octopus was climbing out, climbing up into the next tank, lifting the fucking lid up and getting inside and eating the fish, and then climbing back to his place.
And so that means there's something that is big enough to go kill a goddamn whale.
And they also found fossilized imprints of giant suction cups.
And that's what leads them to believe that the possible...
You see, the thing about an octopus is there's no bones, really.
There's nothing going to be left.
There's no fossilized octopus.
It's not like a bird or something else.
You can get the structure of the animal.
It's essentially all soft tissue except for its beak.
So it dissolves.
It doesn't exist anymore.
But it was on the ocean floor that they had these imprints, these fossilized imprints of what looked like massive suction cups of a huge tentacle.
And by that, they're making this pretty reasonable hypothesis, you know, and the bones of the whale being all fucked up, and then these giant suction cups that like, oh, there probably was this real monster that lived...
I mean, if there's a whale...
I mean, just a whale's ridiculous enough.
That's...
As weird as it gets, man.
A super smart, giant, big thing that can't do anything, and it has to breathe air.
I have a chapter entitled Peace-Drinking Draghi Priests Created Hinduism.
Because one of the theories that Wasson has about that is that he believes he was Amanita Muscaria this summer.
And the way he figured it out, he went through a bunch of these books referring to some, and he was saying, you know, they keep talking about a plant, but they don't talk about leaves, they don't talk about, you know, they refer to stem, they refer to some weird crap, right?
And then, so he was thinking, he was starting to go in the mushroom direction, and then he finds out this piece of literature from somewhere else, where some shaman in Siberia, I think, was talking about how they...
Filter Amanita Muscaria.
And he had read about this triple filter that they're using for SOMA, where they do a couple of things to do it, and then there's a human filter.
And he was like, what the hell is a human filter?
He found out that if you take Amanita Muscaria, you get the high, but you also get really nauseous and weirded out.
Amanita muscaria is a very strange mushroom because they believe it's not only variable genetically, but it's variable by location, seasonally, and that some of them might not even be psychoactive.
Some of them might not even work.
I've tried Amanita when nothing happened.
I tried it.
I went on a combinatory experience.
We tried the Amanita.
We tried it for a few hours and nothing took.
Then we took some regular mushrooms and then we blasted it off.
So it was a combination of the two of them was ultra-potent.
The Amanita did something weird, but it wasn't really getting you off.
It was just getting you to this weird headspace.
I was like, what is going on here?
Is this what this stuff is?
I just think it wasn't strong enough.
It wasn't good enough.
And I think there's parts of the world where they really know how to do it.
In Siberia, especially.
Especially in this thing about Siberia.
The Amanita muscaria mushroom is essentially Christmas.
It's essentially Santa Claus.
Well, people don't know that the Christmas theme and the mushroom theme are so closely related.
They're even the same color.
The Amanita mushroom is Santa Claus.
It's white and red.
And it has a mycorrhizal relationship with certain coniferous trees so that it grows only under those trees just like packages under your fucking Christmas tree.
It's really amazing.
And people would gather them and the way to dry them out was they would put them on the fucking trees, on the branches of the trees, so the sun would get them and it would dry them out.
It's like that's the ornaments on the trees.
It's like all of it is there.
There's so many connections.
And it's been argued that, you know, someone told me that Coca-Cola was the first one to actually make a red and white Santa Claus and that he was a different color before then.
But that's not really true.
There's evidence of red and white Santas from a long time ago.
Right.
But the Santa doesn't even matter.
What really matters is the fucking presence under the tree, the relationship that it has with the tree, the reason why we have Christmas trees and they're always fucking pine trees, man.
I mean, the whole thing, it's like, wow, the relationship's so close.
But that's also how they dry mushrooms out in their home.
They hang them in front of the fireplace and that's what dries them out.
It's really incredible.
You didn't know that?
It's an incredible series of whether they're coincidences.
I mean, I wouldn't say coincidence.
I would say there's evidence that there's a relationship.
And there's a bunch of people that have studied this.
There's a guy, Andrew Rudiger and Jan Ervin.
They've done a lot of study on this stuff.
And the great Jack Herrer was actually writing a book about this before he died.
The relationship with Christianity and mushrooms as well.
He had all these really cool ancient paintings of people who were naked, dancing in ecstasy under the very clear, transparent silhouette of the shape of a mushroom.
This is really amazing stuff.
If you ever look at the really old pictures of halos, that's fascinating too.
The new halos are like a frisbee or like a hula hoop floating around the back of your head, but the old halos were literally on the underside of a mushroom cap.
No, I think all the people, all the ones who believe that there's only one right way that has been revealed by God to them, and so they are super hardcore dogmatic.
And mostly, I mean, you're talking about Muslim fundamentalists, today in particular Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists throughout much of history.
What about the idea that the most dogmatic and the most restrictive religions are really the religions that have come from the areas that have the oldest civilizations?
which is where Iraq is and you know really famously is a part of the world that is still in the Dark Ages right in a lot of ways yeah you know the the battles between the Sunnis and the Shiites and they just the Kurds and all the shit that happened with Saddam Hussein and right and you go back to that area I mean you say well you know this this area literally was Sumerr the This is Babylon.
This is where, you know, literally the first religions were created, as far as we know.
And when you think about that, like the people that are still there, They're much more influenced by the deep, deep past than people that have spread out to all parts of the world as travelers, especially Americans.
That's the last example of a new continent that we know that just over the last few hundred years has been established.
I mean, religion come out from beautiful mountains and rivers and shit.
I'm sure it's going to do something to its ideology where they are, maybe, not always, but more likely than not, they're going to have a more mellow view of life.
I wouldn't say there's no new religions, but there's no new respected religions.
There's everything where you can look back and...
Some people take Scientology seriously, but for the most part, it seems to be just a group.
You can call it a religion, but...
No one in that really is believing, at least I don't think they are, believing the stories of Scientology the same way that people are believing the ridiculous stories.
I mean, especially when it's written by a science fiction author.
You know, it's like you can make some great claims about some distant past where nobody knows shit, then you can spin a story that nobody can disprove today.
In three seconds, people find out all about you when you're like, hey, isn't your prophet the guy who was like ranting some child porn the other day?
When there were even Salman Rushdie back in the day.
Yeah.
A bunch of the Western world were saying, yeah, sure, the violence is bad, the Muslim reaction, but really is this terrible and offensive what these people are doing.
And I'm just like, are you kidding me?
You know, you're giving in to book burners and arguing that people want to squash freedom of opinion that's in the name of respecting religion.
Yeah, if you want to go to war, if the United States wants to go to war, you should go to war with anybody that wants to kill a lady who suggests that you should have a draw Muhammad Monday.
That's who we should go to war with.
Go to war with them.
Have people that pretend to do shit like that.
Find out who's ready to kill them and then go get them.
Go get them, boys.
Those are the jackasses of the world.
Those are the people who you can't bounce that far back from where they are.
They need to die and come back and live life again and try to learn from this life's experiences because you're not going to bounce back from being a guy who's willing to cut the heart out of a woman who wants to have a draw Muhammad Monday.
That guy's never going to be a productive member of society.
We also have a show Friday every week usually for Death Squad where I take all the other people like Sam Tripoli, Jason Tebow, Tom Segura and all those guys and I give them their own separate show too.
Solid shows if you're around and you want to check those out.
Even if you don't know the guys' names, I guarantee you if they're on these shows, they're solid.
So this weekend's the UFC. Oh, who else we got?
We got Doug Stanhope, bitches!
Doug Stanhope will be joining us on Thursday.
Thursday, Doug Stanhope is going to join us.
He's got a show Wednesday and Thursday.
Wednesday is at the Irvine Improv and Thursday is at the Brea Improv.
So, we're going to bring him down here on Thursday, do a podcast with Doug, get piss-eyed drunk, and then take him out to the Improv in Brea that night.
So, if you're looking to see him, go to the Irvine Improv's website.
Just Google that shit, son.
Go see Doug Stanhope on Wednesday at Irvine and then Thursday in Brea.
My friend, you've brought us some very interesting topics for conversation here.
And I'm going to check out your book.
And check out his new book, 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know About Religion, which should be out this week on info.com.
Disinfo.
Disinfo.
Not info.com.
Info.
They're a bunch of fucking liars.
Disinfo.com.
We're telling you the truth.
Subscribe to Death Squad.
It's the only way on iTunes to subscribe to it because it's the only way you can get the Ice House Chronicles, which I think is one of the best podcasts out there.
It's all of us hanging out pre-shows and after shows, and you get some hilarious shit out of it.
It's a lot of fun.
Everybody's getting amped up for the show, and there's a lot of shit talking, and it's always fun when you've got like ten comics in a room together.
The last one was beautiful.
It was Joey Diaz and Brendan Walsh, and it was everybody.