Speaker | Time | Text |
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The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
If you go to JoeRogan.com, what is my website? | ||
unidentified
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.net. | |
JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
We are also sponsored by Onnit.com. | ||
That's my laptop in the background. | ||
Oopsies. | ||
We're also sponsored by Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of AlphaBrain, a cognitive enhancer, and Numood, which is a 5-HTP supplement. | ||
It has 5-HTP, and it also has L-Tryptophan, so it has sort of a time release. | ||
It gives you the effects longer throughout the day because L-Tryptophan is one of the building blocks of 5-HTP and serotonin. | ||
It's a great mood-enhancing supplement. | ||
I enjoy it. | ||
And as we say with all these things, if you're into nootropics, please go online. | ||
Research it. | ||
Look into it. | ||
There's some interesting stuff. | ||
Experiment with it. | ||
If you think that our stuff costs too much or you don't have the money or whatever, just steal the recipe. | ||
Steal the recipe. | ||
Go buy your own stuff in bulk and try it out. | ||
And I hope it works. | ||
And if you want to buy it from us, go to onnit.com. | ||
O-N-N-I-T.com. | ||
If you enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off that too, son. | ||
All right. | ||
We've got a serious man here today, ladies and gentlemen, for some serious talk. | ||
But he may or may not have smoked the devil's cabbage. | ||
So we're going to have a good time. | ||
Kick it, Brian. | ||
Where's the music? | ||
unidentified
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Oh. | |
What did you do? | ||
What is this? | ||
unidentified
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This is like a remote version of the song? | |
It doesn't go through the speaker for some reason? | ||
unidentified
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I forgot to plug that in. | |
We gotta get a new computer, folks. | ||
We gotta get a new computer. | ||
It's only a few years old, but try running a computer from four years ago with today's operating systems and all this stuff. | ||
You notice the difference. | ||
You notice a big difference in how fast it works. | ||
unidentified
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Especially when you're not just using iPhoto. | |
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
For regular stuff, it's almost like they make things more complicated so you actually need a bigger hard drive and a faster processor. | ||
But for just web browsing, that's what most people do. | ||
It's the most intensive thing most people do. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I don't think many people are editing podcasts and videos. | ||
And this one, this is the old, what's the Power Mac? | ||
unidentified
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What's it called? | |
That shit is like the noisiest thing in the whole entire world. | ||
It's like, that's supposed to be that top of the line thing, but there's 17 fans on there, and the thing just sounds like it's going to take off. | ||
Well, it's not meant for being in the room with sensitive mics and podcasts. | ||
It's meant for, you know, some serious work. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Our friend we have here today, ladies and gentlemen, is a serious author. | ||
A man, his name is Daniel Bolelli. | ||
Did I say it right? | ||
unidentified
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Yep. | |
And he wrote a book about martial arts called On the Warrior's Path and also wrote a book about religion called... | ||
What is it? | ||
50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know Religion. | ||
Yeah, and you wrote it for disinformation, so disinfo.com, guys, which I'm a fan of their stuff. | ||
I love the You're Being Lied To books. | ||
They're great. | ||
Really, really awesome stuff, and really great toilet reading. | ||
You're like the fifth person who tells me that. | ||
Yeah, because you're being lied to is really short paragraphs. | ||
If you're healthy, you probably won't get through a whole paragraph in this shit. | ||
If you get through a whole paragraph in this shit, you might want to put some broccoli in your diet. | ||
But they're good, short pieces. | ||
Brian, what the fuck? | ||
unidentified
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What the fuck, Brian? | |
I don't know what the fuck I'm... | ||
But they're good short pieces that they're really eye-opening and enlightening. | ||
So Disinfo, they put out a lot of cool stuff. | ||
And so they've gotten behind. | ||
I think they put out some of Graham Hancock's stuff too, didn't they? | ||
Yeah, that was kind of like the formula for this book too. | ||
Their whole idea was I submitted to them this giant book I've been working on, 400 pages long with footnotes, all this stuff about religion. | ||
And they were like, Yeah, that's sweet and old, but seriously, can you give us something quick and that funny, weird, that has an impact right away that people, as you put it, can read on the toilet and get on something intense but quick? | ||
It's very difficult for people to discipline themselves to read any serious piece of work on anything. | ||
When you're just simply stating the facts and documenting things, it's oftentimes a dry read, even though it's fascinating information. | ||
So they're really clever in their idea of just, you know, figuring out a way to get it. | ||
And then, you know, probably once people read this book, get familiar with your writing, get into you, then maybe they'll dive into, like, some of your more serious stuff, right? | ||
Yeah, even serious is a big word, because I had, even in the big book, I had one of the chapters about the existence of God begins with a woman having a screaming orgasm. | ||
So, I mean, it can only be so serious, you know? | ||
But I guess it was... | ||
The idea was, no, let's do something else. | ||
They have a series going. | ||
The 50 things you're not supposed to know. | ||
It works well for them. | ||
They want to do something on religion. | ||
And initially, because I was so attached to the other project, I was like, ah, screw it. | ||
I don't want to do it. | ||
When they told me the magic word advance, suddenly I was gone. | ||
Yeah, a little money always creases the wheels. | ||
I was like, What? | ||
You want me to be weird and funny and quick about religion? | ||
No problem. | ||
No problem. | ||
Now, are you from Italy? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What part of Italy are you from? | ||
Milan, which, by the way, I want to apologize to your listeners, because I've been living here, believe it or not, I've been living here 20 years, and when I first moved here, I swear I was speaking almost decent English, but then somebody brought to my attention that many American women like my weird Italian accent. | ||
Ah, so you kept it! | ||
So I'm like... | ||
Yeah, that's a good one to have, man. | ||
I'll tell you what, if I talked like you, I'd keep that shit, too. | ||
I can understand you. | ||
I mean, it's not like you're difficult to understand. | ||
You're very clear. | ||
You just have a very distinct Italian flavor. | ||
unidentified
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It's like reading cursive writing. | |
Exactly! | ||
Like cursive, like typing. | ||
If you have a typing program, then type in cursive. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
That's how I figure, you know, being understood versus being liked by women. | ||
No, I think I take being liked by women. | ||
Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. | ||
Yeah, women are like, well, men do too, man. | ||
You hear a girl with an English accent, you're like, ooh, listen to that, you know? | ||
Australian, English, anything. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Why is that? | ||
Everyone's dissatisfied with what they are. | ||
Everyone is looking for something different. | ||
Everyone wishes they were someone else. | ||
Everyone sees the grass greener. | ||
Everyone goes, God damn, I wish I had an accent like that guy. | ||
Hey, it works for me, so I'm just... | ||
It's one of the biggest sins, right, when you fake an accent? | ||
Can there be a more douchey thing to do? | ||
Like, remember when Madonna was talking English? | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
Do you remember that, Brian? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
She only did it for, like, a little bit until people started calling her on it. | ||
Britney Spears also did it for a while, it seems like. | ||
Yeah, but, you know, nobody takes Britney Spears seriously. | ||
You know, Britney Spears is a crazy person. | ||
Madonna is, like, a legit artist who just got a little carried away. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, there's a lot of people that do that. | |
I should try it. | ||
I should not have caffeine for a while and fake an accent for a while. | ||
This is my sixth or seventh day of no caffeine. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, that's crazy. | |
Fascinating, man. | ||
unidentified
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I want to do that. | |
Yeah, I'm a junkie. | ||
I didn't even know I was a junkie. | ||
I feel great now, but I'm not convinced that I'm going to stay off the coffee. | ||
It's just like, now I know what it's like to be like a person who's hooked on cigarettes. | ||
unidentified
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Is it like a cigarette? | |
Yeah, is it like a cigarette? | ||
No. | ||
You see this coffee right now and you're like, oh, that looks delicious. | ||
No, because the physical pull's not the same. | ||
The physical pull, and I can substitute it. | ||
I'll drink like a chai tea latte, which has like the tiniest amount of caffeine, nothing like a coffee. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, but you have 42 of them per day, don't you? | |
I mainline them. | ||
I just take them right into my fucking veins. | ||
But do you drink coffee, brother? | ||
You had a really good point. | ||
You were saying before the podcast about this. | ||
We were speaking about this. | ||
Yeah, I try to use it the same way somebody always uses hard drugs. | ||
I'll try just when I absolutely need it, then I'm wired for 10 hours. | ||
I'm not even going to drink coffee. | ||
I'm just going to have a double espresso when I need it. | ||
Just go with my hair sticking out in that direction. | ||
That's scary. | ||
That's such a smart move. | ||
That's such a smart move. | ||
That scares me. | ||
Well, the reason why I did this in the first was because I took a few days off just randomly. | ||
I decided I just didn't want any coffee. | ||
And then I had a cup of coffee. | ||
And oh, my God. | ||
My heart was pounding. | ||
I was like, wow, this is crazy. | ||
It just took a couple days, maybe three days, and my tolerance had broken down. | ||
I don't know why or how that happens that quick or if I just got a really good batch at Starbucks. | ||
And then I started thinking about it like, wow, how much resources is my body using to fight off this stimulant every day? | ||
How normal is this? | ||
How healthy is this? | ||
unidentified
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It can't be. | |
And I get the same feeling when I'm drinking coffee that I do when I smoke too much cigarettes, where it feels like my body is craving it, but I get a headache kind of from it. | ||
unidentified
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You're poisoned, right? | |
Yeah, I feel it. | ||
You feel like you're poisoned, and you're addicted. | ||
Yeah, most certainly I'm addicted to coffee. | ||
I see it and I smell it, but I can get around it with tea, and tea doesn't wire me like that. | ||
unidentified
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It doesn't work for me. | |
It doesn't, really? | ||
I mean, iced tea, I drink shitloads of iced tea, but that is like as bad as drinking coffee, I think. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, there's a lot of caffeine. | ||
Yeah, but you know, you could drink herbal tea, too. | ||
I like herbal tea. | ||
You know, you could have like, you know, there's a lot of different types of herbal tea that have no caffeine in them. | ||
For me, it's like, Tate Fletcher, our buddy, said it best. | ||
He said it's like, drinking a cup of coffee is like having a warm hug. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
You know? | ||
It's like, I'm not really looking to be wired from the coffee. | ||
I just want some warm liquid that tastes good. | ||
I like the taste of coffee. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I think you need more love, man. | ||
I need more love? | ||
I think you got a good point, brother. | ||
I like the way this guy thinks. | ||
So you wrote this book on religion and you wrote also a book on martial arts. | ||
So you and I have a lot in common, man. | ||
We have a lot of very similar interests. | ||
How did you get involved in religion? | ||
Were you raised religious? | ||
No. | ||
No, I'm fascinated by it because you see how much it means to people, how much their whole worldview, their life, their priorities, who they marry, who they want to hang out with. | ||
Everything depends on the kind of stuff they put in their head based on religion. | ||
It's powerful stuff. | ||
It's amazing that it still works, isn't it? | ||
2011, it's very difficult to have pure objective thinking. | ||
But then again, the thing is, the stuff that drives all this is that people are scared of dying, and rightfully so, because we don't control jack shit, we don't know anything about anything really about how the universe works. | ||
A friend of ours just died, so we should say rest in peace to Patrice O'Neil. | ||
He was a great guy and a great comedian, an awesome dude, an awesome thinker. | ||
He was a warm, friendly guy. | ||
I always loved seeing that guy. | ||
I'm going to miss him. | ||
I'm going to miss him a lot. | ||
unidentified
|
He was a great comedian. | |
He was a great guy. | ||
Just sucks. | ||
He had poor health. | ||
He had diabetes. | ||
I guess he just didn't really take care of himself. | ||
He ate too much. | ||
He wound up having a stroke. | ||
He was in a coma for a little while, I guess. | ||
It was really difficult to get the information out because the family was sort of protecting it, and rightly so. | ||
We don't know exactly the details of it. | ||
What I'm repeating is just stuff that I heard on the internet. | ||
I'm so sad about it. | ||
I don't even want to call anybody and talk to anybody about it. | ||
I talked to Stan Hope about it today. | ||
We talked for just a minute. | ||
What can you say? | ||
It sucks. | ||
We both just said that. | ||
We really didn't even say anything other than it sucks. | ||
I asked him, I go, did you hear about Patrice? | ||
He goes, yeah, it sucks. | ||
I go, yeah, it sucks. | ||
Can't even say anything else. | ||
Anything else is cliche. | ||
Hey, it's going to happen to all of us someday. | ||
It's like the real moment of actually dealing with loss is really intense. | ||
You know, it's real hard to deal with. | ||
Patrice, we're going to miss you. | ||
We'll miss you a lot, man. | ||
He was one of those comics that was so quick. | ||
unidentified
|
Just seeing him on Opie and Anthony all the time. | |
That was the one thing that I could just... | ||
He was really fast and hilarious. | ||
Powerful. | ||
He's a comic, man. | ||
He's a real comic. | ||
My favorite Patrice thing wasn't even of him doing stand-up. | ||
My favorite Patrice thing was him on one of those Fox... | ||
It was either Fox News or one of those... | ||
Talk shows where someone had said something inappropriate and gotten in trouble. | ||
I believe it was like Opie and Anthony. | ||
I think it was the incident where they had some crackhead on their show and the crackhead talked about he wanted to rape Condoleezza Rice. | ||
They had a crazy person on their show and they got suspended for it. | ||
I think that was what he was defending. | ||
But there was a woman on who was with him. | ||
And this woman was talking about how you shouldn't have said this, you shouldn't have said that. | ||
And Patrice is just clowning her. | ||
He's just like, you don't understand funny. | ||
You guys don't understand funny. | ||
It all comes from the same place. | ||
And the way he said it, it was so honest and so well thought out. | ||
And it made them look so silly. | ||
It made people criticizing people who stepped across the line with comedy... | ||
Criticizing them, you know, as if what their comedy was was like an actual statement of their real beliefs. | ||
No, it's comedy, you know, and it all comes from the same place. | ||
The ability or the attempt, rather, to try to make people laugh. | ||
And he broke it down so well, and it was so funny the way he did it, the way he handled it, it was so brilliant. | ||
He was just a real quick guy. | ||
A real unique thinker. | ||
And a guy who, you know, I always really loved to see. | ||
And whenever I ran into him, I was always happy. | ||
You know, comedians are a rare animal. | ||
There's not that many of us. | ||
unidentified
|
Is this the video right here that you're talking about? | |
Um, I don't think so. | ||
No, it was... | ||
Yeah, that's it. | ||
Yeah, absolutely. | ||
unidentified
|
He just totally clowned this lady in Osario. | |
She took part in a recent protest calling for radio stations to stop supporting negative language in music and talk radio. | ||
And also, our favorite stand-up comic, Patrice O'Neill. | ||
Thank you, sir. | ||
unidentified
|
Patrice, are ONA next? | |
I hope not. | ||
I hope JV, I wish JV and Elvis didn't lose their job or Imus. | ||
It's funny, this is the thing. | ||
I don't know her, but I'm assuming that she has nothing to do with funny. | ||
So I'm going to speak as the expert on funny. | ||
Funny people should just be left to try to be funny. | ||
What if they're not funny? | ||
Then you made a mistake. | ||
But how many, listen, how many times has an unfunny, how many unfunny rape jokes lead to rape? | ||
I don't know how many jokes about rape there are. | ||
There's a lot. | ||
But your world is not funny. | ||
Your world is... | ||
Next on the big story. | ||
My world is people trying to be funny. | ||
Well, I mean, you think it's okay to try to make jokes about rape? | ||
I'm diabetic. | ||
I make fun of that. | ||
I'm a victim. | ||
I might lose a toe. | ||
I'm trying to make fun of anything I think I can make fun of. | ||
Sonia? | ||
You know, what's happening now is the marketplace is deciding what's appropriate. | ||
Appropriate or what's not appropriate. | ||
It is. | ||
I think the nation is just tired. | ||
There's a new mood in the nation. | ||
What nation? | ||
The nation. | ||
You know what? | ||
We're tired of things that are just awful. | ||
It's just the nation that's paper and you. | ||
I'm not the nation. | ||
I'm just speaking for me and funny. | ||
You're speaking for the nation or are you speaking for... | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know why? | ||
Because... | ||
Shots are down. | ||
unidentified
|
I remember six years ago. | |
Doing something against Anthony Openey because they were just so outrageous and their violent images that they put out to women was just uncalled for. | ||
And now, I think people... | ||
Do you think they were trying to be funny? | ||
I think now people in this country are tired... | ||
Do you think they were trying to be funny? | ||
You know what? | ||
I don't care if they're trying to be funny. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
Why are you in that business? | ||
I've been to your show once and it wasn't very funny being a woman in your show. | ||
I was in the paper with her, and the joke is hilarious, called The Angry Pirate. | ||
And the lady who wrote it in her outrage didn't even know what it meant, and anybody who read it laughed, because they know what's funny. | ||
You're not living in the context of funny. | ||
You're living in the context of fire. | ||
All these guys have every right to be as funny as they want. | ||
They can go out and try to be as funny as they want, make as much money, make as much money being as funny as they want. | ||
This is what's happening. | ||
There is a change in this country. | ||
People are realizing They have an opportunity to speak out. | ||
And advertisers are listening. | ||
Radio stations are listening. | ||
You're not talking to who I talk to. | ||
And you're not going to get paid as much money anymore. | ||
Sonya and Patrice, look at this. | ||
You're not going to get paid as much money anymore. | ||
unidentified
|
They've been on a tear lately. | |
Are they cleaning house, or is this the PC cops run amok? | ||
You know what it is, John. | ||
You know what it is while you're reading that paper. | ||
It's the PC cops run amog. | ||
Who's the PC cop? | ||
Of course she is. | ||
She has an entire encyclopedia of her stance on it, but it's no passion involved. | ||
It's not a real... | ||
This is just what she has to say. | ||
We are outraged and fired and fired and fired. | ||
Name-calling. | ||
I'm outraged. | ||
I am outraged. | ||
You should be. | ||
I am a fool. | ||
Now, if I called you a fool... | ||
You know what? | ||
Who are these people? | ||
Who are the people? | ||
Here's my question. | ||
How can you justify a bad joke, a joke that isn't funny? | ||
Wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
An attempt that isn't funny, doesn't get any laughs, and is about raping the first black woman to ever become the Secretary of State of the United States. | ||
Don't throw that at me. | ||
Well why not? | ||
Attempt is what I'm trying to fight for. | ||
Funny jokes and unfunny jokes come out of the same birth. | ||
You don't know if anything is going to be funny. | ||
You should attempt to be able to make anything funny. | ||
Don't you think a joke about rape is doomed to be not funny? | ||
It's possible, but I've heard them. | ||
Have you heard a funny rape joke? | ||
I'd say a couple. | ||
Watch my scale special. | ||
I'm pretty good at it. | ||
Patrice says that if you're having sex with a woman, doggy style, and if you... | ||
She's saying doggy style! | ||
No, it's ejaculate in her eye and kick her in the shin, and she walks around like, argh! | ||
It's the angry pirate! | ||
That's what she was trying to say! | ||
It's called the donkey crunch! | ||
Why are you laughing? | ||
She's outrageous! | ||
It's called humor that she has no clue what it is. | ||
We have the same problem that Opie and Anthony does. | ||
You can't say just anything on the air. | ||
You can say anything you want. | ||
It might not be funny. | ||
You might get in trouble for it, but you should be able to be attempting. | ||
And plus, when is a crazy bum going to get an opportunity to rape the president's wife, John? | ||
It was trying to be funny. | ||
All right, Patrice, why aren't I hearing Al Sharpton complain about this thing involving Congress? | ||
Because it wasn't involving young black women. | ||
Well, it was involving a very prominent black woman. | ||
Well, where was she during young black... | ||
Everybody has their agenda. | ||
I was there. | ||
I was there. | ||
Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
All right, excuse me. | ||
But why am I not hearing some Sharpton? | ||
Because it doesn't concern him. | ||
It's not concerning him. | ||
It's black. | ||
Come on now. | ||
You know Al Sharpton has his agenda and it was perfect for Al. | ||
Young black women. | ||
And now she's representing just women in general. | ||
She's not representing the nappy-ho part. | ||
She's representing just the hoe. | ||
The nappy-headed part, she has nothing to do with it. | ||
Just the hoe. | ||
You know what? | ||
Women have been abused publicly in the media for too long, and people are tired of it. | ||
This has been a beautiful response of just the general public saying to advertisers, we're your consumers. | ||
She's awesome. | ||
unidentified
|
We don't want to have to avoid everything in the street. | |
We don't want to have to worry about what radio station we turn on. | ||
And there is some really derogatory, violent You're going to get all your information, ma'am, is secondhand from someone making you aware that someone may have said something that you should be upset about. | ||
That's a shame. | ||
The people you represent aren't all victims in this matter. | ||
I love, like, dumb people who talk ridiculous and try to sound intelligent. | ||
Like, she's, like, speaking for the entire country. | ||
And we are fed up. | ||
And we're like, whoa, whoa. | ||
How preposterous. | ||
How beautiful was he in that, though? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, that was beautiful. | |
He was beautiful. | ||
I love that dude. | ||
unidentified
|
He is. | |
We miss you, buddy. | ||
That's it. | ||
That's it. | ||
Rest in peace. | ||
See you on the other side. | ||
unidentified
|
Peace out. | |
All right. | ||
Daniel, back to you, brother. | ||
Yep. | ||
So, Danielle. | ||
How do you say it? | ||
Daniele? | ||
In Italian? | ||
unidentified
|
You slick bastard. | |
I love the fact that you admitted you kept it. | ||
Kept that accent. | ||
That's fantastic. | ||
So I don't know how we got into this about people being afraid to die. | ||
That's what it was. | ||
Yeah, because I mean, with religion, if you read even like early 1900s, people are thinking, okay, now with modernity, we're in a modern world, a more secular world, all the kind of more traditional superstitions are all going to phase out. | ||
I mean, it makes sense on the surface, but not really, because until you have the answers to the things that make people really freak out, dying, grief, what the hell, you know, because I mean, our life is so short, and we don't know jack shit about before or after. | ||
Until you give some people some answers, people are not comfortable having no answers. | ||
No matter how bullshit those answers are, they need them. | ||
It's almost like religion is some sort of an evolutionary device, like a bridge to take us from being monkeys to being enlightened beings. | ||
Like we need some horseshit to get us through this. | ||
We need a belief. | ||
No one ever wants to think of the concept of life being that it may be that you have lived this exact life before and you will live it over and over again until you get it right. | ||
And the idea that this could go on into infinity. | ||
And that might be what life really is. | ||
We don't think of it As being possible because it's too hard for our minds to wrap around and too alien to what we absolutely know to exist, like birth and death and having a certain amount of time here to get things done and seeing people die. | ||
Okay. | ||
But... | ||
The actual possibility is almost like it's too fucked up for us, so somebody had to invent religion in order to just patch up the road till we make it there. | ||
Yeah, because in reality we don't really control pretty much anything in life. | ||
And we're conscious. | ||
And we're conscious of it. | ||
So that's a quagmire. | ||
Scandiest thing in the universe. | ||
Yeah, the universe itself. | ||
I had a bit in one of my past albums about if you ever are starting to take your life seriously, just stand out and go outside and just look up at space and just really wrap your head up. | ||
I mean, everybody looks, oh, there's a star. | ||
Stars are bright tonight. | ||
But very few people actually look up and go, wow, you know, that literally is infinity. | ||
Like, we're floating in infinity, and it's the majority of what I see, you know, all around the top. | ||
It's easier to see infinity than it is to see the ground. | ||
I mean, I have more view of the infinity. | ||
Like, it's amazing how rarely that comes up. | ||
No one talks about it. | ||
It's too much. | ||
So we just sort of accept that we live in space and accept that we look at the clouds. | ||
What is the first religion? | ||
What's the first known religion? | ||
I mean, if you look at the... | ||
I have a chapter in there that I had half of the fun of doing this book was coming up with the titles, because in a few words, you just throw out something outrageous and weird that gets things going. | ||
And let me see if I remember what this one exact was, because I had a blast with the origins of religion. | ||
When will this book be released? | ||
It should be this week. | ||
This week on disinfo.com you can pick it up. | ||
And then Amazon. | ||
This one I have a chapter entitled Mammoth Porn and the Caveman's Epop, The Origins of Religion. | ||
Because the very first evidence that archaeologists suggest this may be the beginning of religious behavior, they see these cave paintings left by cavemen where the main things that these guys were drawing were hunting scenes and animals having sex. | ||
The idea being these guys were doing these rituals because their life was on the line to ensure success in the hunt. | ||
And then, you know, animals are dead, so you need to make sure there are more for the next time around. | ||
So you're trying to send out the vibes so that the animals have sex, there's more of them, and so on. | ||
And what they would do, again, this is pure speculation because who the hell knows, but it's a fun speculation. | ||
Archaeologists suggest that they would have these rituals in front of this painting where they would mimic hunting and then they would mimic, you know, caveman and cavewoman having grindy, sweaty, dancing, semi-sex, kind of like modern hip-hop kind of thing. | ||
And that would be the beginning of religion because they are trying to influence the universe so that the animals have more sex and there's more of them to come along the next time. | ||
Wow! | ||
And I thought... | ||
Could be total bullshit, because I mean, how do you know, really? | ||
An archaeologist basing it on three pieces of information left 15,000 years ago, but it sounds fun. | ||
And we should clarify that you actually know what you're talking about, unlike most of the time these discussions get brought up on this podcast. | ||
You're actually a professor. | ||
Where do you teach at? | ||
I teach at Santa Monica College and at Cal State Long Beach. | ||
And what is your education? | ||
I started out, when I came here, I did my BA in Anthropology, but then I hated it. | ||
And then I did an MA in American Indian Studies, of all things. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
And then I did a second MA in History. | ||
And really, I mean, bottom line is there was mandatory military service in Italy, and you could defer it as long as you were in school. | ||
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So I was like, I'll do another Master's, no problem. | |
Well, the Indian studies must have been interesting. | ||
Yeah, it was fun. | ||
It was a lot of fun. | ||
Yeah, I got really into American Indian history a few years back and I read quite a few books on it. | ||
It's an amazing case of genocide. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
I mean, people really can't even wrap their head around how many American Indians died. | ||
Yeah, 90% of the whole population wiped out. | ||
And horrific, horrific stories. | ||
You know, I read some soldiers' accounts of what they did to, you know, American Indians, and it's horrific, you know. | ||
It got really terrifying, like serial killer stuff, you know, what they would do. | ||
Just heartless, like they treated them like they were not even vermin, you know. | ||
A lot of that is actually tied to religion because the first way to kind of dehumanize somebody is, I mean... | ||
With all Western religions, they have this division between God and the devil, absolute good and absolute evil, heaven and hell. | ||
So there are the good guys who follow God, and then there's everybody else. | ||
Because, I mean, if there's only one right way, then the idea is anybody who doesn't follow ours, by default, is on the wrong side. | ||
And if you take that a couple of steps further, then that's what it leads to in the idea of You guys are the servants of the devil. | ||
You're not really human anyway. | ||
So, slaughtering you left and right is an act of justice. | ||
That's one of my favorite. | ||
I use this in class all the time because I have a blast. | ||
Everybody, even if they never read any of this stuff, heard about the whole story about Moses and the Ten Commandments and so on. | ||
And after that, I ask my students about what happens right after that story, because that's where it gets juicy. | ||
And they're like, I don't know, oh, there wasn't golden calf or some crap, like some of the Jews are not worshipping the one God. | ||
I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's right. | ||
And what does Moses do about it right after getting the Ten Commandments? | ||
Like, I don't know. | ||
He gathers the loyalists, you know, the strict monotheistic people who are still on his side. | ||
He tells them, hey guys, you know, those are our friends, they are our neighbors, some of them are family, but they are worshipping other gods. | ||
We can't have that, so you know what to do. | ||
Get your weapons, let's go from one side to the camp of the other and kill them all. | ||
And so right after the Ten Commandments, you have a nice story of some 3,000 Jewish tribes who have been hacked to death by the monotheistic Jews against the polytheistic Jews. | ||
Jesus Christ! | ||
In a nice, religious massacre right off the bat. | ||
Wow! | ||
And Moses ordered this. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
That is ridiculous. | ||
That's right, Ed. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
And this is the Old Testament? | ||
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Yep. | |
God, the Old Testament is so freaky. | ||
The Old Testament is just filled with freaky. | ||
It's like one of the most psychedelic, bizarre books. | ||
All the stories, just Genesis, there's so much in there that's like, wait a minute, what? | ||
There was a fucking talking snake? | ||
Like, come on, man. | ||
The devil appeared as a talking snake. | ||
And talked him into eating a fruit. | ||
It was just a piece of fruit. | ||
That's all they had to do? | ||
Just a piece of fruit? | ||
It's hilarious. | ||
You know, that God is just... | ||
His rules are so fucking serious. | ||
You eat my fucking apples, bitch! | ||
I'm not just gonna punish you. | ||
I'm gonna punish every fucking person from now till eternity. | ||
As long as they're people, the people are fucked because one dumb bitch ate an apple. | ||
It's my fucking apple! | ||
Isn't that amazing? | ||
That's when you don't understand funny, I'm afraid. | ||
God should mellow out a little. | ||
God, what the fuck, man? | ||
God, you need to smoke a joint. | ||
Use some of your own creation. | ||
It's amazing how ruthless, when you go back in history, how ruthless gods were. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
That's why it cracks me up when you hear Christian fundamentalists complaining about Hollywood, about all the sex and violence. | ||
Because if you look at the Bible, there's... | ||
I mean, it's awesome. | ||
There's more sex and violence in the Bible than any Hollywood movie I can think of. | ||
You know, it gets so insanely graphic that it's like, damn, really? | ||
This is what... | ||
Yeah, it's amazing, too, how many of the stories are, like, really similar to older stories from other religions. | ||
You know, like, the one that always got me was the Epic of Gilgamesh and the story of Noah and the Ark. | ||
They're so similar. | ||
It's like... | ||
It's like, really, it's like, I wonder what really happened. | ||
And my speculation, it's totally speculation, is there probably was some sort of a great catastrophe a long time ago. | ||
But of course, in every giant tsunami or flood, it's not everyone that dies. | ||
Some people are going to live. | ||
And the people that live, they're going to have to have some story for how they lived. | ||
And, you know, a couple generations in, when everybody's still living like a monkey... | ||
You know, running around collecting fruit and trying to get their goats to fuck so they can kill them and eat them, you know, and just wondering how they got, like, we seem really intelligent. | ||
Like, how did we get to this shitty point? | ||
Like, how come none of you fucks have figured out tools or clothing or houses or anything yet? | ||
Well, a long time ago, Noah was the only person, and we are the children of Noah. | ||
They don't even take into account that, you know, how many people were with Noah? | ||
Everybody came from Noah? | ||
Where do black people come from? | ||
What about Chinese people? | ||
How does that happen? | ||
How long does it take for... | ||
I mean, Noah only supposedly was a couple thousand years ago, right? | ||
What was that? | ||
Three thousand years ago or something like that? | ||
Suddenly you have like six billion people. | ||
How is that possible? | ||
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The fuck is that? | |
That's the dumbest shit ever. | ||
It's probably the original story was probably an actual event. | ||
Like, I think most of those depictions were actual events that just got distorted. | ||
You know, the telephone game. | ||
Like, you tell a friend and he tells a friend. | ||
What is it called? | ||
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Operator. | |
Operator. | ||
Yeah, I mean, by the time you get to the last person, you know... | ||
That's actually funny that you bring it up because it's one of the ways in which I bring up sources when we talk about religion in class. | ||
And I bring up, when I speak of the Bible, I tell them, you know, how do you know that this is the real stuff? | ||
And I tell them, you know, really, we have been talking about an oral traditions for generations before anybody write them down. | ||
And so I ask them, have you guys ever played Operator? | ||
You know, do you know how that works? | ||
And then you end up... | ||
So picture playing operator for maybe 50 years, and then you record all the answers, and then 200 years later somebody come around and look at the answer and decide which ones are true and which ones are not, and that's the word of God for you. | ||
Yeah, like, wow! | ||
Try deciphering that. | ||
And then people will fight to the death over those beliefs. | ||
A little comma put here or there that changed the meaning. | ||
That's, I need to cut off your bolts and burn the stake over it. | ||
Well, how about the fact that, you know, like, even the shit that was written down, when they wrote it down in ancient Hebrew, ancient Hebrew is a very bizarre language, and it doesn't have, they don't have numbers. | ||
So letters double as numbers. | ||
So there's a numerical meaning to words. | ||
There's a different grasp to the words that we can really barely comprehend. | ||
And these words, numerical content was very important. | ||
The word God and the word love, they have the same numerical content. | ||
And there was a translation from that to Latin and then to Greek. | ||
And if they're doing that, I mean, Jesus Christ, what are they going to... | ||
I mean, how do you even know what the fuck was the original work? | ||
Oh, yeah, exactly. | ||
On the telephone after you play it for that long and somebody decides. | ||
Then you translate it in a bunch of languages. | ||
And then it's like, no, there are so many filters to go through that who the hell knows what it was at the beginning. | ||
And people have to make decisions. | ||
They have to decide what goes in and what goes out. | ||
And how to... | ||
Like the King James version. | ||
And, you know, the whole idea behind the New Testament is just so preposterous. | ||
If you find out how it was created, it was Constantine. | ||
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Right. | |
A bunch of bishops, right? | ||
I mean, Constantine was a gangster, basically, because he was just about, you know... | ||
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He was ruthless. | |
...controlling powers, monitoring enemies, and he's the guy who pushed the religious reform that brings Christianity as one. | ||
He's like, I don't know, that's the guy you want to have in your car. | ||
Yeah, that's the guy that's creating the Bible? | ||
Are you fucking crazy? | ||
It's amazing, because, you know, people will say, If you bring up the Bible, bring up crazy stuff. | ||
Oh, that's the Old Testament. | ||
We go by the New Testament. | ||
The New Testament was written by a fucking murderer. | ||
And even that is bullshit because they only say that about the Old Testament when the Old Testament is so obviously over the top nuts that it's embarrassing. | ||
But then anytime it says something that they want that's not in the New Testament, it's like, hey, it's in the Bible. | ||
But I'm like, no, wait, that's the book you just told me that it doesn't count. | ||
No, but when it says something I like, then it counts. | ||
How do you deal with that when people are teaching it and when you're trying to study theology? | ||
How many people who are actually studying theology are religious and how many of them get to a point where they become agnostic? | ||
I guess it depends where they do it. | ||
If they do it as some hardcore Christian school, well, that's gonna be one type of clientele. | ||
If they do it more in public schools... | ||
When I first started teaching the History of Religions class, I thought, shit, what did I get myself into? | ||
I was all excited until five minutes before, and then I'm like, they are going to kill me. | ||
Do you worry about that? | ||
Muslims are the most... | ||
The reality is that the people who take that stuff, Are already open-minded. | ||
Otherwise, they wouldn't be taking it because they don't want to hear it. | ||
So most of the people who do show up are the ones who have a more open-minded approach and so on. | ||
So they are cool. | ||
There are people who are willing to chat and engage and so on. | ||
If you have a mind, and if you can think, and you start studying religion, it's almost impossible to not be agnostic. | ||
Realistically, again, nobody knows shit. | ||
Wanting some kind of absolute answer where there is none, it just shows that you are so damn fearful that you just want to ignore any evidence in order to decide, I need some certainty. | ||
It's also a very weird characteristic that people have to need closure and to need a side to be on, even though there's no answer yet. | ||
We haven't reached that point yet. | ||
There's a door you have to open. | ||
That door is death. | ||
When that door opens, you'll get some more information, but who knows? | ||
You might not even. | ||
Maybe not. | ||
You might just be a baby in 1950. Seriously. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Look, it's bizarre enough that you're a person. | ||
It's bizarre enough that you use your eyeballs to judge distance. | ||
You have these fucking organs inside your skull that measure light and distance, and they figure out exactly, precisely how far away you are from things. | ||
And that allows you to get in metal boxes with rubber wheels. | ||
That's just as bizarre as coming back as a baby in the 50s. | ||
Everything we do is bizarre. | ||
No, in fact, the universe is amazing. | ||
I mean, it's so damn weird that it's beyond anything I can understand. | ||
And precisely because I respect it and I'm in awe of it, trying to make it all fit in my little box of how everything is supposed to work is bullshit. | ||
The best quote I ever heard of it from JDS Haldane who said, not only is the universe queerer than you suppose, it's queerer than you can suppose. | ||
I can sign up for that. | ||
That's it, right? | ||
That's it. | ||
It's fucking what? | ||
What the fuck is that? | ||
Ridiculous. | ||
So when you got involved in religion, did you originally get involved in it from an archaeological standpoint? | ||
No, it was like I got involved with just about everything else completely by chance. | ||
I mean, I was into it. | ||
I would read it for myself. | ||
I would read mainly a lot of Eastern philosophy and stuff like that that I was into, but I would read for the hell of it. | ||
And somebody then one day asked me, hey, man, we need somebody to teach this thing. | ||
Can you do it? | ||
I'm like, no, not really. | ||
And they're like, No, but come on, you're kind of a renaissance man. | ||
You know a lot of shit. | ||
Do it. | ||
I'm like, okay, sure. | ||
And I jump on and I'm like, yeah, I love this stuff. | ||
This is fun. | ||
I got to talk about all the stuff I like and this is awesome. | ||
And so then I started reading more and more. | ||
But I mean, yeah, I read my stuff before to begin with. | ||
In the moment of pure perversion, I decided to read the entire Bible cover to cover when I was 18. Oh, wow. | ||
Painful experiences of my life, but it's woke me up, though, when I got to this part, the Song of Solomon. | ||
I don't know how the hell that book ended up in the Bible. | ||
It's awesome. | ||
It's like one of the best things. | ||
All of a sudden, you have 10, 15, I forgot how many pages, where they don't mention God once. | ||
They don't mention priests. | ||
They don't mention anything. | ||
It's just this super passionate, erotic love poem between a man and a woman. | ||
A woman who enjoys sex as well is also from her point of view, which is completely unheard of in the rest of the Bible. | ||
And it's just this celebration of sex, essentially. | ||
And it's just like, always like, how the hell did this end up in there, you know? | ||
And my theory is that one of the guys who are copying all the scriptures got drunk one night and took the wrong scroll and got his homemade porn there and put it in there by mistake. | ||
His homemade porn! | ||
It's awesome, you know? | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Do you know of John Marco Allegro's work? | ||
I heard of him. | ||
I heard of him a bunch, but I haven't read him actually directly. | ||
He's a guy that was one of the people that was working on the Dead Sea Scrolls. | ||
He was working on deciphering it. | ||
And he was the only agnostic out of the group. | ||
And he wrote a book called... | ||
We wrote a couple of them. | ||
One of them was called The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth. | ||
And the first one was called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
And that one's a fascinating book. | ||
He believes that the entire works of the Christian religion were originally mushroom. | ||
It was about mushroom eating and psychedelic drugs and Ritual sex and about a fertility rituals and making sure that they they kept breeding and that you know women kept having babies. | ||
Shit, how things went wrong. | ||
Isn't that amazing though? | ||
From such a promising start. | ||
He tracks down the word mushroom or the word Jesus rather to an ancient Sumerian word. | ||
The roots of it being an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen. | ||
and that the idea he believes and this is me he's making a big reach that I don't think unless you have some sort of serious education in language history could totally even grasp the argument but what he's saying is that what they used to call mushrooms It was like God would come on the earth when it would rain. | ||
And then mushrooms would grow out of that. | ||
They would eat them. | ||
They'd have these incredible psychedelic experiences because of that. | ||
And so that was Christ. | ||
So Christ was a mushroom that was covered in God's semen. | ||
Well, I mean, you have stuff. | ||
You have religions around the world where anything from peyote to ayahuasca to a lot of psychedelic substances, amenita muscaria, the mushroom itself, a bunch of things that have been central to people's religion because they open up all these worlds and so on. | ||
And probably the origins of a lot of the stories and a lot of the experiences. | ||
Yeah, no wonder you start seeing weird gods flying around. | ||
Especially back when it was hard to get food. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
You know, it was difficult. | ||
People were hunter-gatherers, you know, essentially before religion was written down. | ||
They were supposed to be hunter-gatherers up until like, what, 10,000 years ago? | ||
10,000 years, something like that? | ||
Although that's coming into dispute. | ||
You know, they found a fucking fishing hooks and fishing line and tuna bones. | ||
Tuna from 40,000 years ago. | ||
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Weird. | |
And they've never thought that people were capable of doing this. | ||
But now they're thinking that up to 40,000 years ago, people were getting in boats, and they were going hundreds of miles into the ocean. | ||
And they were catching tuna, dude. | ||
TUNA! 40,000 years ago, they were in boats catching tuna. | ||
They have no idea that people were doing that. | ||
This is a complete new revelation. | ||
It's like going to rewrite history. | ||
What kind of fishing line do you have that you're making 42,000 years ago that you can pull a fucking thousand pound tuna out of hundreds of feet of water and you got a hook and some meat? | ||
What is going on, man? | ||
How is that possible? | ||
We might have to rewire or rewrite the whole... | ||
I have a very strong feeling that over the next few years there's going to be more and more evidence like this that makes people want to push back the origins. | ||
Have you heard of Gobekli Tepe? | ||
This new structure that they found in Turkey is another one where they're thinking they're going to have to push back the origins of civilization because it's at least 12,000 years old and it's these huge sculpted stone columns and They have all these animals that are drawn on it that don't even exist in Turkey. | ||
So these animals weren't even supposed to be in the fossil record from back then. | ||
So the belief is, what they're trying to say now is that this was made by hunter and gatherers. | ||
And a lot of people are going, come on, man. | ||
Like, what the fuck is this? | ||
This is giant. | ||
Just the fact that someone made something like this 13,000 years ago when we never thought people were making stuff like this... | ||
We might have to go, wait a minute. | ||
How much of this is really left over? | ||
Is there a bunch of stuff we haven't found yet? | ||
And if there is and we do find it, eventually there's going to be a point in time where they're going to have to say, I think we've been around longer than we think. | ||
No, totally. | ||
And it goes back to the we don't know shit, right? | ||
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Yeah. | |
That's why we are rewriting history all the time because, I mean, that's why, you know, you read history books and you have, like, the last 50 years is this thick and then the first 20,000 years is like, okay, we were here for a while and then 50 years ago this happened and it's like, okay, because we don't know much. | ||
We look so much different than anything else here. | ||
We're some kind of an ape, but god damn we look different than the rest of the apes. | ||
How long did this take? | ||
How long did it take for us to look like this? | ||
Are you sure? | ||
Are you sure it's been a million years? | ||
Maybe it's been two. | ||
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And if it's been two, that changes a lot of shit. | |
We don't really know. | ||
There's a lot of guessing going on, man. | ||
Was it a clean separation between us and the apes? | ||
No? | ||
Or maybe that ape still look hot. | ||
What if there's something super advanced, more advanced than us? | ||
We just haven't met it yet. | ||
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Right. | |
And it's here just hiding from us like, oh, those crazy monkeys. | ||
Yep. | ||
It's just, you know, it's another couple thousand years ahead of us. | ||
Maybe that's what the aliens are. | ||
Probably not, right? | ||
So, this Marco Allegro guy met a lot of controversy when he was trying to propose that religion might have had its roots in psychedelic experiences. | ||
Why do you think people are so reluctant to take in that possibility? | ||
Because I think... | ||
Any kind of psychedelic experience is very individual. | ||
You know, it's hard to build that church on it in a sense that it's hard to have a dogma because it changes so much from one experience to the next, from one person to the next. | ||
And people, bottom line, love dogma. | ||
That's the thing that reassures them. | ||
Direct experience doesn't reassure them because they have to base it on their own feelings, on their own instinct, on their own, and it's too scary for people. | ||
You know, you hear people talk so much shit about how we like freedom. | ||
Most people are terrified of freedom. | ||
Most people hate freedom. | ||
They like the idea of being free, but they run to their chains anytime they can because they need something to keep them safe, to make them feel like, you're okay, little boy. | ||
You're going to be fine. | ||
You need ritual, tradition. | ||
Martial arts, how long it took for people super attached to this is how we do things, this is the truth of combat, when in martial arts you can try it. | ||
It's not like a religion where there's not as much direct evidence. | ||
You can try it and still people would stick their head in the sand and not want to see it that some shit just didn't work. | ||
Well, it's fascinating that it's one of the most fundamental forms of competition. | ||
And yet, we're way better at it now. | ||
And we have evolved it now over the last 20 years more than at any time in human history. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
So you've got to think people should have known a long time ago, but not really. | ||
Because fighting is difficult, and it's dangerous, and it's scary, and most people try to avoid it if and whenever possible. | ||
So there's not a lot of testing it out. | ||
And it wasn't until something like the Ultimate Fighting Championship came along that we really found out what actually works. | ||
Now we know what fighting is. | ||
Now we really know what fighting is. | ||
That's amazing when you think about it just as an archaeological thing. | ||
You know, the fact that over the last 20 years they figured it out. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Even though the other day, I totally agree with what you said, but I just saw this scene that cracked me up. | ||
I saw this Roman sculpture a few days ago in a picture where there's this... | ||
The naked guys wrestling? | ||
No, not even. | ||
There's like this half-man, half-horse. | ||
How are those called in English? | ||
Centaur. | ||
Centaur, yeah. | ||
Who's putting some dude in a heel hook. | ||
What's a minotaur and what's a centaur? | ||
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Is a centaur a bull? | |
Minotaur is the one with the bull. | ||
The centaur is the half-horse. | ||
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That's my favorite. | |
The centaur is the best. | ||
And that guy is putting a heel hook onto somebody. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
I was like, really a heel hook by a centaur 2,000 years ago? | ||
That's awesome. | ||
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Wow. | |
Yeah, I bet they knew a lot of submissions back then. | ||
I bet they had a couple of them. | ||
There were some pretty cool things, but no, I agree with you. | ||
I mean, the evolution of the last 20 years is unparalleled with anything else before. | ||
That's why my dream would be to be able to have the UFC of religions, where rather than these people going off forever about... | ||
Islam is awesome. | ||
No, you suck. | ||
Buddhism is great. | ||
He's like, just shut up. | ||
Get in a cage. | ||
I sit back, have a beer, see what happens. | ||
And then we can stop whining forever. | ||
Nobody accepts losses, though. | ||
No. | ||
Not in bad departments. | ||
They always think the guy got lucky and they want to come back. | ||
And, you know, Islam's going to make a comeback, bitch. | ||
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Yeah, exactly. | |
But wouldn't that be fun? | ||
That would be awesome. | ||
Well, it's very strange to me when guys switch religions. | ||
Like, you know, like a dude will convert and become, you know, a Jew or, you know, convert and become something else or a Christian or a Catholic. | ||
Based on what? | ||
More evidence? | ||
Well, they found a better group of people to hang out with. | ||
Yeah, I think. | ||
You know, that's what it is. | ||
It's like when you change nationalities. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, it's a very controversial thing, you know, when you become a U.S. citizen or, you know, did you become a U.S. citizen? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Was that a weird thing for you? | ||
Not really. | ||
I mean, for one, I didn't have to give up Italian citizenship, so it really doesn't change much. | ||
I can still travel. | ||
See, that's badass if you get dual citizenship. | ||
It's cool, because that way I didn't have this weird, like, oh, shit, I'm cutting the bridges with the past. | ||
So I didn't have to do that, so it wasn't too weird, you know. | ||
It was just like, ah, stupid piece of paper that I can go in line faster next time, you know. | ||
I got a friend of mine who's got that Canadian-American dual citizenship thing. | ||
That's dope. | ||
He goes back and forth with no problems. | ||
He can work over there and work over here. | ||
It's beautiful. | ||
That's a very good gig. | ||
But when you signed up to the Evil Empire, when you signed up, the final documents, we were like, oh my goodness. | ||
Look what I've just joined up with. | ||
I just joined up with the baddest gang in human history. | ||
And that's really what you joined. | ||
You joined the United States. | ||
I always say that the people in the United States that we are living inside the balls of the dick that's fucking the world. | ||
I like your imagery. | ||
unidentified
|
Poetic. | |
We're not a part of it, but we essentially take residence inside the balls of the great dick that's fucking the world. | ||
A hundred different military bases in a hundred different countries or whatever the fuck we've got now. | ||
I'll have to write that down. | ||
That's awesome. | ||
That's what it is. | ||
You know, you just joined the best bot. | ||
This is the best bot. | ||
It's safe here, man. | ||
We're just throwing a lot of punches. | ||
Everybody's backing the fuck up. | ||
We've got this thing circled. | ||
Everywhere else is quite dangerous. | ||
So, you got into this religion, you started teaching, and you wrote this book. | ||
Now, in writing this book, was there anything that you found that shocked even you with all the shit that you know about religion? | ||
No, I mean, I've seen enough stuff that by now is kind of hard. | ||
You ever get into arguments with fundamentalist people? | ||
No, because I think... | ||
I think one of the things I tell them is that, hey man, I'm not telling you anything about any single one religion, because within any religion there's so much variation that they disagree just about everything among Christians, among Muslims. | ||
I'm just making a general point about where a certain belief has led to. | ||
Do you want to identify with that? | ||
Good for you. | ||
You don't, but I'm not saying your religion equal this. | ||
I'm saying that as being... | ||
This is the contents of your religion. | ||
So people mellow out a little because they don't take it as personal. | ||
And then I try to make it kind of funny and just play and laugh about it. | ||
So having a sense of humor usually mellow them out a little. | ||
So it doesn't get too... | ||
I've even had some hardcore weird fundamentals that I thought they were out to kill me that suddenly they love me by the end of class. | ||
And I'm like, really? | ||
Have you been listening to... | ||
And that's where I think the Italian accent come in. | ||
I don't think they understood a thing I said. | ||
But it sounded cool, and so they were. | ||
Well, you're a smooth talker, and you obviously are well-educated, so the words come out nice, and you're basically talking about the Bible, and their little brains lock up. | ||
That is a problem, too. | ||
Isn't it a problem? | ||
Some people are just dumb. | ||
Yep. | ||
I mean, I'm afraid that's the majority of people. | ||
Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't want to believe that it's a biological issue. | ||
A lot of people want to believe that it's an education issue or an environmental issue or a cultural issue. | ||
And it may be, but it also might be biological. | ||
Look, there's people that are born and they're seven feet tall. | ||
There's people that are born and they have giant dicks. | ||
There's a great variation of human beings. | ||
When I just see this giant wave of sloth, you see a giant percentage of people in this country, I don't know if it's 20%, I don't know what the number is, we just look at them like, my God, you're barely thinking. | ||
You're barely a person. | ||
Are you just lazy? | ||
Or do you have a 9-volt battery kicking inside your fucking head? | ||
They might have a 9-volt battery. | ||
They might have shit genes and a poor database to draw from genetically. | ||
No one in their genes and ancestry has ever been any different than them. | ||
And they've gotten this far, so there's no need to adapt. | ||
Yeah, so it's like, you know, you come across a wild pig, or you come across a pig that's in a pen, and they're completely different animals. | ||
Yeah, completely. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
Maybe that's what's going on. | ||
In that case, we're fucked. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Maybe that's why wars keep going on, and maybe that's why religion keeps working. | ||
Evolution, right. | ||
Yeah, maybe it's like, it's almost impossible. | ||
Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy? | ||
No, I haven't seen it, but I heard it's funny. | ||
unidentified
|
You really need to see that movie by now, Joe. | |
I know. | ||
I got upset because a couple people accused me of stealing the idea for that bit that I had for my special, the bit about dumb people outbreeding smart people. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
First of all, that's not an original concept. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
People have been thinking that forever. | ||
Of course. | ||
And second of all, my special came out before that movie came out. | ||
And it was something I worked on for years before the special. | ||
It's just that, you know, everybody's had that thought. | ||
So because of that, I bought it and I never watched it. | ||
I didn't want to see how close it is to my shit. | ||
You are pissed about it. | ||
You get in these defending yourself. | ||
There's no need to defend yourself. | ||
It's gross. | ||
That's one of the things about communicating with people online is the anonymity. | ||
Sometimes you're dealing with people. | ||
You're just dealing with, like, why are you behaving this way? | ||
Why are you communicating this way? | ||
The only reason why people would communicate that way is because there's a lack of social repercussions. | ||
There's no... | ||
You don't feel it. | ||
It's like the reason why people in their car can give you the fuck you when they wouldn't do that if they were just in the street a few feet from you. | ||
But in a car right next to you, because there's a window and because there's a door and a window and a door and some space in between that, they're like, fuck you, you fucking bitch. | ||
Why you wouldn't do that in person? | ||
You'd be a crazy person to do that in person. | ||
But there's a detachment because of the automobiles. | ||
We can't feel each other. | ||
We don't see each other. | ||
We're separated by some shit. | ||
We know that it's safe. | ||
It's the same feeling that you feel when you're at the zoo. | ||
And you don't feel uncomfortable when you're standing next to a fucking bear. | ||
You're supposed to be shitting your pants when you're looking at a bear, man. | ||
That is not normal to get comfortable looking at a bear. | ||
You should be terrified, man. | ||
That fucking thing is only a few feet from you. | ||
You trust that glass? | ||
Let's get out of here! | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
It's the repercussions of dealing with people on the internet. | ||
It's very annoying. | ||
Do you post stuff on the internet? | ||
Do you have blogs or anything like that? | ||
I mean, my life has been so damn crazy lately that I've just... | ||
Constantly teaching and writing? | ||
Teaching a bunch. | ||
I mean, I let a lot of bad shit happen because my wife died a few months ago. | ||
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, man. | ||
I'm a two-year-old baby. | ||
So, you know, you can imagine that alone takes a hell of a lot of time and energy and everything. | ||
And then, you know, still working, teaching, writing, doing... | ||
So, I'm just like... | ||
You know, I'll keep up on, you know, email, Facebook kind of stuff, but I've been trying to save whatever energy Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But yeah, do you take a lot of vitamins and eat healthy? | ||
Yeah, I'm trying to work on that because I feel it in my body in the last few months. | ||
It's just too much stress, too much everything. | ||
So I'm just trying. | ||
I've been used to it. | ||
I worked out forever for 20 years. | ||
Now this last year I've hardly been able to. | ||
And so of course, all of this stuff then takes a toll. | ||
So I'm trying to, you know, not become, you know, the Unabomber or something. | ||
Cutting away from everything and everybody, but at the same time save some energy for just breathing, you know. | ||
Yeah, that's important, man. | ||
It's important. | ||
It's very hard, especially people with children. | ||
When people don't understand when they have a baby, Is you now have a human being taken care of. | ||
It's not like a pet. | ||
You have to be with it 24 hours a day. | ||
If it's little and you have to take a shit, you know what you have to do? | ||
You have to lock it in the room with you while you're taking a shit. | ||
Of course. | ||
And you have to keep it from pulling the things out of the drawers and killing itself by climbing up on something that it can't support. | ||
It's a constant... | ||
It's a lot of work. | ||
I'm amazed that anybody has kids. | ||
I'm like, How the hell does anybody do this? | ||
And I love her. | ||
I mean, she's not even a hard baby. | ||
She's an easy, sweet baby, but still. | ||
Jesus Christ, it takes so much energy. | ||
Yeah, it takes a lot of energy. | ||
And what you get out of it, they're little drug dispensers. | ||
What you get out of it is love in the purest form possible, cut straight from the source. | ||
The love that you get from babies, man. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
People who don't have kids really will never truly understand this experience. | ||
Because you can think you love a dog. | ||
Because you do. | ||
I love my dogs. | ||
I see them. | ||
They're sweet. | ||
And they give me kisses. | ||
And I'm happy. | ||
But there's a feeling that you get when it's a baby that's your own flesh and blood. | ||
And they're just little bundles of love. | ||
And they're little bundles of happiness. | ||
And you can directly influence them. | ||
them. | ||
You can directly shape their life and they're looking for you to do that. | ||
They need you around all the time and they constantly want you to hold them and pick them up and touch them. | ||
They're constantly screaming for you to touch them. | ||
It's amazing to watch that from the source, to see an... | ||
A life form, a unique life form with no language that's communicating with just intent and noises. | ||
It wants you to do things for it. | ||
And what it wants you to do is real simple. | ||
It wants love. | ||
It wants to play. | ||
It doesn't want to be left alone. | ||
Makes sense. | ||
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
So much work. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So how do you keep saying? | ||
Do you have like a workout you do or meditation or yoga or anything? | ||
I think honestly, right now I've been burning the candle on both hands so I don't know that I have to answer to that because I don't think I've been doing a good job at it. | ||
I think I've been handling things but I'm feeling lately my body kind of giving me signals like, hey man, you're going over the edge. | ||
You need to tone it down. | ||
You don't smoke cigarettes or anything, do you? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
No, I don't. | ||
Workout has always been my thing but then again when you don't have the physical time anymore so I need to find the times to do it and so that's kind of what I'm working on being able to just train again and do all this stuff because I mean with martial arts I've been doing it 20 years it's been like one of the things that you do day in and day out forever and suddenly you don't do that anymore you're like oh shit your body goes through withdrawal you feel weird so it's key to do it because it doesn't matter how busy you get it's key to your health in a way Yeah, | ||
I remember I tore a ligament in my leg. | ||
It was the first, like, real serious injury that took me out for months and months. | ||
I tore a knee ligament, and I had to get it reconstructed. | ||
And then I didn't work out for a long time. | ||
And it was the first time in my life that I hadn't done that. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, and I had always used martial arts for blowing off steam. | ||
And now, all of a sudden, I was at this place where I was like, wow, I just, you know, I'm not in control of my emotions as well. | ||
I have a short temper. | ||
I don't feel my body the same way. | ||
When you use your body a lot, you develop this real tight relationship with your body, like how it moves. | ||
And it makes you want to eat healthy. | ||
It makes you want to take care of it because you realize that it's communicating with you. | ||
It's communicating with you through movement, through your desire and intent to do something and its actual ability to perform what your desire and intent is. | ||
And you get this relationship with your body. | ||
And I didn't have it anymore. | ||
I had no relationship with my body. | ||
I was like, wow, this is weird. | ||
Every day I just wake up and eat and piss. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
That's what I'm using my body for. | ||
It's just a vehicle. | ||
I'm not communicating with it anymore. | ||
Welcome to the life of most people in the world. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You communicate with your body through things. | ||
Through sex, through martial arts, through dance. | ||
You communicate when you require your body to move in very specific ways. | ||
There's a consciousness to that that's very uniquely its own. | ||
The consciousness of the full focus and concentration of someone utilizing their body. | ||
Because I really do believe that that is an element of the whole and that you have to, in order to be optimally healthy, you have to have the whole together. | ||
You have to have the mind must be healthy, the consciousness must be healthy, the body must be healthy. | ||
Yeah, and I went through a long period. | ||
It was like six months, you know, rehabbing my knee after the surgery and everything like that, where I still couldn't kick a bag, I couldn't box, I couldn't run. | ||
That really sucks. | ||
Yeah, it makes you realize, it makes you really fucking appreciate your body when you can, though. | ||
Seriously. | ||
So what martial arts were you doing? | ||
It's funny. | ||
I started out originally watching the Kung Fu TV series too many times, I think. | ||
So I was just like, I want to go on a mountain with Master Yoda showing me how to fly in the air. | ||
So I started out with a lot of Chinese martial arts, and then I progressively moved to more self-defense oriented things. | ||
Kind of the opposite of what most people do. | ||
We start out with very aggressive and then they mellow out. | ||
I started out all, it's all about Zen and poetry and things. | ||
And now I'm just like, shut up, let's just wrestle, you know. | ||
Just all about combat sports and submission grappling, MMA, that kind of thing. | ||
Well, I think, you know, there's definitely a mindset to the Eastern martial arts that is being lost in the transition to combat sports, you know, to look at combat sports. | ||
There's something to be gained from that mindset. | ||
What people don't understand is that, like, the ancient Japanese martial arts masters, you know, the reason why they practiced Zen thinking wasn't because It's just, you know, a thing they did that, you know, really doesn't need to be replicated today. | ||
No, what they were doing was, in order to have a way, in order to have a way of thinking of life, they were disciplining the mind to behave on very specific frequencies and to have control over itself. | ||
And that in your discipline and in your honor and your code, you have control over your emotions, you have control over your body better. | ||
You have control over your psyche better because you have an ethic, because you have a code. | ||
And that there's a reason for that. | ||
It benefits you in combat. | ||
It benefits you to be sturdy of mind. | ||
So in order to practice this mental discipline, it actually puts you in a better position for victory. | ||
It's why it's there. | ||
Shit, I've done... | ||
I remember... | ||
I'm not the... | ||
I think I'm kind of a wimpertard, so every time I've competed... | ||
A wimpertard? | ||
No, I get freaked out. | ||
I get scared when I have to fight, you know. | ||
Some guys are, you know, you read Chuck Liddell or Randy, these guys who speak, they don't know what it means to be afraid. | ||
I'm like, what the fuck do you mean? | ||
It's like the scariest thing in the world. | ||
This guy has been training forever to knock your head off. | ||
So I walked up and the days before, the time when I step on the mat, I feel like everything in my body is shutting down. | ||
I'm about to die kind of feeling, you know. | ||
Everything freezes and And so I can see how the whole Zen thing is not about having some strange mystical thought, it's about how do you deal with the fact that this is what you're gonna do, and you do it without too much attachment, because attachment will breed fear, fear will shut you down, and then you'll get killed. | ||
Yeah, you gotta control your body. | ||
That's really ultimately what it is. | ||
And the ability to control your mind is the same as the ability to control your body. | ||
Because if you can't control your mind, you can't control your emotions, they can run amok, your possibilities. | ||
The real problem is you're intelligent. | ||
That's the real problem. | ||
And it's true. | ||
And when you're intelligent, you realize, hey, we don't have to do this. | ||
This is an elective choice you're making to go and enter your body into some physical combat with another man. | ||
Let's get the fuck out of here. | ||
That's intelligent. | ||
unidentified
|
Let's go eat something. | |
Exactly. | ||
That's intelligent. | ||
You're a smart person to think that way. | ||
Your body thinks it's going to fight, you know, and your body doesn't want to do it. | ||
So it starts, you know, just essentially trying to pull you out of it. | ||
But at the same time, it's like the most instructive thing in the world because it teaches you to get rid of attachments. | ||
Because, you know, you live with attachment of fears and all these things about you hope that the universe is not gonna do this and that to you. | ||
And the reality is, in combat, like in life, you don't control jack shit. | ||
You do the best you can and then it's out of your hands and you need to be able to live through it despite the obvious fear that kicks in from self-preservation. | ||
And so it's like, hey man, maybe you die in a second. | ||
So what? | ||
Yeah, it's not good. | ||
It doesn't feel good to work hard, but it's good to work hard. | ||
It's good to train hard. | ||
It's good to push your body and your spirit. | ||
And that is a part of it, your spirit. | ||
I have friends that are men, and I'm not talking about you, Brian, that are... | ||
Yeah, you are. | ||
That have no experience whatsoever in any sort of difficult physical endeavor. | ||
And it haunts them. | ||
It haunts them. | ||
Like, they get insecure when they're around guys who are athletic. | ||
They'll say, you know, dicky things. | ||
And it's like to disarm this person of their masculinity because they've never truly faced their own physicality. | ||
And they're terrified of it. | ||
It's fascinating. | ||
It's fascinating to watch. | ||
Watch them have, like, these little weird sort of semi-meltdowns and they're around, you know, strong men. | ||
It's like the least you train, the tougher you think you are. | ||
That's the way it goes. | ||
unidentified
|
You can build all these stories about, oh, I'm this tough guy. | |
Then when you step up, you quickly find out. | ||
Those guys are funny when they want to talk about, I'm undefeated in bar fights. | ||
Tell you that, I fought 15 times. | ||
It's like, yeah, fine. | ||
You fought 15 people, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. | ||
Or you're soccer punching people. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
When your friend is distracting them. | ||
You don't train at all, and you've been knocking out 15 dudes? | ||
Okay. | ||
You're going to get fucked up if you keep this up. | ||
One day, you're going to run into Bas Rootin at the bar, and he's going to fucking do one of those instructional videos on your head. | ||
Bang! | ||
Bang! | ||
Slank! | ||
Can you imagine? | ||
unidentified
|
I like to put your fingers in your ass. | |
Bully asshole and you run into a guy like Boss Root in a bar. | ||
Oh, what a mistake. | ||
Especially if he tries to be nice to you and you mistake that for him being weak. | ||
Yep. | ||
Whoopsies. | ||
Yeah, we were watching. | ||
I had Eddie Bravo in here the other day and we were watching Minotauro Noguera versus Bob Sapp. | ||
Oh, that's awesome. | ||
That's classic. | ||
Isn't that classic? | ||
Brian, you saw it too. | ||
It was a cartoon fight. | ||
A real cartoon fight. | ||
In my opinion, the best example of technique over power that this guy, Minotaro, this 230 pound guy was ever to beat this 350 plus pound monster of a man who didn't even look real. | ||
That is an amazing, amazing fight. | ||
And that's a guy, Minotauro, he's a real martial artist. | ||
He's a real, like, true warrior. | ||
You know, a guy who became a master of jiu-jitsu and then became a great striker to add on to it and was just willing to fight anybody. | ||
And I think it started way back in the day because, I mean, when he was, I forget, 10, 11, whatever, when he had a car accident and he was in a hospital for a year where they tell him you'll never walk again. | ||
Maybe you'll walk, but maybe definitely no sports. | ||
And the guy goes on to become an MMA champion. | ||
It's like, let's say something about the guy's personality. | ||
I remember when he was at the top of his game, man, when he was triangling everybody, and you just saw jiu-jitsu on a level that you had never seen before. | ||
All of a sudden, this badass heavyweight who was tough as fuck, who had a wicked guard, a wicked jiu-jitsu game, was hitting... | ||
Anaconda chokes on dudes and fucking strangle him from his back. | ||
And you're like, whoa, this dude is on another level. | ||
That was, to me, a real victory for technique in mixed martial arts. | ||
In my opinion, Minotauro embodies this era where people learn, whoa, that's possible too. | ||
We were not seeing guys on the highest levels submitting guys the way Minotauro was. | ||
He's so awesome. | ||
How about the crow cup fight? | ||
He gets... | ||
Battered by Krokop in the first round. | ||
Fucking smashed. | ||
He gets head kicked by the guy who knocked out everybody with head kicks. | ||
And somehow or another, he eats it and he's okay. | ||
And he gets up at the bottom of the round. | ||
At the end of the round, he gets head kicked and dropped like seconds before the round ends. | ||
And he thought the referee stopped the fight. | ||
And the referee's like, nope, the round's over. | ||
He's like, okay, let's stop this fucking fight. | ||
And he goes back and he takes him down and he armbars him in the second round. | ||
unidentified
|
But he took up. | |
Beating in that first round like god damn that dude is tough. | ||
You got to love those guys or Sakuraba or those guys. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Crazy wars. | ||
Sakuraba, by the time his career was over, he was essentially going in to the ring with his legs mummified. | ||
Yeah, I was insane. | ||
His knees were so bad that he would have tape that would go all the way up to the top of his thigh and all the way down to his ankles. | ||
It was crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
That was another guy that was like a real, like, classic technique and heart oversized guy. | ||
Do you remember when he fought Quinton Jackson and Quinton kept his lap over and over? | ||
And he got his back! | ||
Sacco was all relaxed and just flowing. | ||
I'm like, Jesus, how do you stay relaxed when some monster is lifting you? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, his jiu-jitsu was beautiful. | ||
He was so tough. | ||
He was so, like, willing to take punishment. | ||
You know, he was technical, but he was also brave. | ||
You know, he's willing to take punishment. | ||
And essentially, really, he should have been a 170-pounder. | ||
I mean, he was walking around at 189 pounds without cutting any weight at all, and he was a little fat. | ||
And he was taking on heavy weights! | ||
Can you imagine a default at 170? | ||
What kind of a career he would have had? | ||
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
Dude, that guy fucking beat Conan Silveira with an arm bar. | ||
Remember that shit? | ||
Conan went for a fucking Kimura. | ||
He spun around, caught him in an arm bar. | ||
Bang! | ||
That was a pure victory of technique over size. | ||
That was a clear example of that. | ||
He was an amazing fighter. | ||
And another one who embodied that Japanese warrior spirit. | ||
And that's what they loved about him. | ||
His willingness to go out there and throw it down with anybody. | ||
unidentified
|
Anyone. | |
Even Vanderlei Silva who beat the fuck out of him three times. | ||
He kept stepping up. | ||
He kept stepping up, man. | ||
And that last one when he got knocked out and Vanderlei caught him with two punches and literally sent him flying through the air as he skid unconscious on his back. | ||
Wow. | ||
Scary, scary. | ||
The Melvin Manhoof fight, when he fought Melvin Manhoof? | ||
No, Jesus, I feel bad for the guy. | ||
He just took so many beatings. | ||
Oh, my God! | ||
No one's taking more beatings than Sakuraba. | ||
Dude, Melvin Manhoof is a destroyer. | ||
When that guy starts teeing off on you, he's one of the most terrifying strikers in any martial art, you know, when he's attacking. | ||
He's just so strong and fast and just blasting Sakuraba. | ||
And the fucking guy came back after that and he kept fighting. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
I mean, he's still fighting. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
I mean, I feel... | ||
He's weird. | ||
He's perverted. | ||
Like, well, I want to see him fight, but then I want him to retire, you know? | ||
Oh, I would love him to retire. | ||
We could watch his old fights. | ||
Yeah, I think you're right. | ||
So many classics. | ||
He was involved in so many Fight of the Year candidates, you know? | ||
I mean, even when he was broken up, when was that, like a year ago or two years ago, when he had the fight with Galezig, I think he was, where he put the guy in the kneebar and the guy hit him like 50 straight times, no protection, and the guy stayed with it so he could get the kneebar and win the fight. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How do you stay with that technique when you're getting hits? | ||
Oh, he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
He's got unbelievable determination. | ||
What about the Zoromskis fight where his ear fell off? | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
His ear literally... | ||
Sakuraba has these gigantic cauliflower ears. | ||
And for people who don't know what that means, when you wrestle a lot or you get hit in the ear a lot, when it breaks up the tissue, it fills up with fluid and blood and then it hardens. | ||
It becomes almost like cartilage, like really thick stuff. | ||
You have to have that shit cut out. | ||
And a lot of guys, they get an ear that becomes like this. | ||
It literally looks like a mouse is under their skin. | ||
And that's what it looked like with Sakuraba. | ||
The whole thing was deformed. | ||
Randy Couture actually uses his in grappling because it's hard. | ||
So when he takes guys down, he'll actually shove his ear into parts of them and make them uncomfortable. | ||
He'll fucking jab them with his ears, man. | ||
Those are hard weapons on the side of his head. | ||
It's really kind of crazy. | ||
Sakuraba's ear was really fucked up, and it always had tape on it. | ||
It was always getting cut in training and shit. | ||
And this dude hit him with something. | ||
I forget what he hit him with, but the fucking ear was hanging off of his head. | ||
Yeah, it was just hanging off. | ||
And Zoromsky was like, dude, your fucking ear! | ||
Like, he even stopped fighting. | ||
unidentified
|
He was like, whoa, dude, you might want to look at that. | |
What's going on here? | ||
They stitched it up. | ||
Has he fought since then? | ||
He did. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
I hope he stops. | ||
He's not going to stop. | ||
He's not going to stop, but they're not going to have him stop. | ||
Right. | ||
They're going to keep asking him to keep doing it, and he'll keep doing it. | ||
But, I mean, if they were smart, at least they would pair him with, like, old legends and then mellow matches. | ||
That would even make sense, at least. | ||
They throw him in with werewolves. | ||
Yeah, that's just fucked up. | ||
Does he still smoke? | ||
You know, I never know the reality. | ||
You'd always hear the story about him chain-smoking and drinking all the time. | ||
That's what I always heard. | ||
I think that's true, man. | ||
Yeah, he trained hard, but I'm pretty sure he actually chain-smoked and drank. | ||
I love Saco. | ||
I mean, it's just... | ||
They need to make a movie about that guy. | ||
He's amazing. | ||
You know, there's something funny about Japanese culture because they are so by the book in so many ways, but when the guys go off the model, they really go off. | ||
Yeah, they get mohawks and tattoo their whole body. | ||
There's one guy I had. | ||
I love this guy that I put in the book. | ||
His name is Ikkyu. | ||
He's the Zen master from, I want to say the 1300s, 1400s, something like that. | ||
And this is your book on the warrior's path? | ||
No, this one is the one that's coming out this week. | ||
Yeah, in the religion book. | ||
This dude was the illegitimate son of the emperor of Japan. | ||
And so they had to kind of... | ||
His mom just hid him in a monastery somewhere so that he wouldn't get killed in Palance Conspiracy trying to get rid of the possible hair. | ||
So, you know, this poor kid grew up in the middle of this fucked up Zen monastery in the cold and whatever, just trying to stay alive. | ||
And so, fine. | ||
You know, not the most fun in the world, but he grows up that way. | ||
Absolute genius. | ||
Everybody said, Jesus, nobody grasps Zen the way this guy does. | ||
He's so smart. | ||
He's so this, he's so that. | ||
But precisely because he's so smart, he just flipped them off one day and he decided when they give him... | ||
In Zen they have this thing they call the Certificate of Enlightenment, where a master certified that you are truly enlightened. | ||
Wow. | ||
He picked it up and he was like, Certificate of Enlightenment? | ||
Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
You know, he burned it and he was like, come on, you know. | ||
That is pretty preposterous. | ||
They were trying to really mean and trying to keep him in the fold by giving him, you know, we'll make you abbot of this monastery and stuff. | ||
A week later, nobody can find him. | ||
They find this poem that he left behind saying basically how, Jesus, a week in this monastery, I can't take it anymore. | ||
If anybody's looking for me, I'm either at the brothel or at the sake shop. | ||
And that's the rest of his life. | ||
He goes off being this kind of wandering teacher whose main passions are Zen, Hookers, and Saki. | ||
And that's all that he loves. | ||
What is his name? | ||
unidentified
|
I-K-K-Y-U. Wow. | |
It's my all-time hero. | ||
I love the guy. | ||
Oh, I love that. | ||
He figured it out. | ||
It sounds like my friend Bad Bobby. | ||
Bad body from Vancouver. | ||
He figured it out. | ||
Hookers and just sake. | ||
Yeah, basically. | ||
And to him, Zen and it was all... | ||
To him, real Zen was living life with full awareness. | ||
That's Zen. | ||
You can do it meditating in a mountain if that makes you feel good. | ||
You can do it in a brothel if that makes you feel good. | ||
It's about having full awareness. | ||
It's not about what you're doing as much. | ||
It's about whether you're awake and you're alive to what's Or whether you're going through the motion and you're not really there. | ||
And whether or not you're just reacting to every single thing mindlessly around you. | ||
By the way, there really is no true enlightenment. | ||
Because even true enlightenment for a human is just true enlightenment for a human. | ||
Our little brains can't really... | ||
We're not set up right. | ||
We are essentially just like this old shitty computer we have that's running all this equipment. | ||
We really do not have the hardware to deal with the scenario at hand. | ||
We're fucked. | ||
So even enlightenment for a person is just enlightenment for a person. | ||
The best you can do is keep it together mildly. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
You know, everybody is searching for that. | ||
And what you're searching for is, you know, ultimately a better feeling about your experience here. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
You know, that's what we're all searching for. | ||
Whether it's through religion or through meditation or through yoga. | ||
I have a friend who, their family was very religious until recently, a few years ago. | ||
They started to kind of, I don't know what brought them out of it, but they started to kind of see it differently. | ||
And now they're experiencing their first year or two years completely away from their church. | ||
unidentified
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Mm-hmm. | |
And the wife is starting to get into yoga and the dude is experimenting with a bunch of different things and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in the world. | ||
But it's weird to watch someone come out of it. | ||
It's weird to watch someone go, you know what? | ||
Maybe this is a mistake here. | ||
Well, you guys are nice. | ||
I enjoy hanging out with you. | ||
But shit, come on. | ||
Their own mind has evolved. | ||
Their personal consciousness has evolved. | ||
Past an ideology. | ||
And that's a big decision to make. | ||
Very hard. | ||
Huge. | ||
It's bigger than breaking up with a girlfriend. | ||
unidentified
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I don't know about that, but close. | |
It depends on how religious you are, but if you're really active with the church and then you're going to leave them... | ||
It's enormous. | ||
It doesn't get any bigger. | ||
unidentified
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It also depends on how tight that girl is. | |
Yeah, that's true, right? | ||
And whether or not she's a freak. | ||
Whether or not you know, just turn her loose for one day. | ||
Like, she's loyal, but you turn her loose for one day, and she's in a fucking gangbang. | ||
And you can't take that gangbang back. | ||
And there's that thing where she always really wanted to get with a black eye, but she never had. | ||
I didn't know. | ||
The moment she's loose... | ||
Joe, did you see that video of the octopus walking out of the water? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
How creepy is that? | ||
Well, you know, there's a video of an octopus climbing out of its aquarium, walking across the floor... | ||
unidentified
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What? | |
...and going up to another aquarium that's in the same room and eating fish and then climbing back in its aquarium. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The reason why I know this... | ||
I haven't seen it, but the reason why I know this is because a friend was trying to... | ||
Explain to me how intelligent octopuses are, that they can take food and put it in a jar, and the octopus will unscrew the jar and get at the food. | ||
And that a guy was missing some of his tropical fish, and he had a couple of fish tanks, and one of them was right next to, you know, the octopus was right next to this one with, like, this is a really expensive fish. | ||
This fucking octopus was climbing out, climbing up into the next tank, lifting the fucking lid up and getting inside and eating the fish, and then climbing back to his place. | ||
Pretending. | ||
Nobody knows. | ||
He thought about it. | ||
He's like, listen, if I hang out here, this motherfucker's going to know that I can get into this tank. | ||
So the dude had to set up a camera. | ||
He set up a camera and caught this octopus doing it. | ||
Jesus. | ||
That's intense. | ||
I haven't seen the video, though. | ||
So it might be horseshit. | ||
It might be internet legend. | ||
unidentified
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Tweet it. | |
Yeah, tweet it. | ||
It's a good start. | ||
Whoever's listening, there's enough people listening. | ||
We don't need to tweet this. | ||
This is ridiculous. | ||
I'm going to leave it at that, Brian. | ||
No, I mean, tweet it so I can see it. | ||
Somebody, yeah. | ||
If they find it, folks, tweet it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Somebody. | ||
If it's out there. | ||
It might not be out there. | ||
It might not be real. | ||
But how do we get on the subject? | ||
Octopuses killing things, climbing out and being intelligent. | ||
Have you seen the evidence for a kraken? | ||
Have you seen the evidence for a giant octopus of legend? | ||
There's always been a legend of an octopus that can devour ships and a huge whale eating. | ||
Well, they actually have found evidence of this thing. | ||
unidentified
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Like a wooden boy inside the octopus? | |
No, they actually found whale bones. | ||
And the whale bones are fucked up. | ||
And so that means there's something that is big enough to go kill a goddamn whale. | ||
And they also found fossilized imprints of giant suction cups. | ||
And that's what leads them to believe that the possible... | ||
You see, the thing about an octopus is there's no bones, really. | ||
There's nothing going to be left. | ||
There's no fossilized octopus. | ||
It's not like a bird or something else. | ||
You can get the structure of the animal. | ||
It's essentially all soft tissue except for its beak. | ||
So it dissolves. | ||
It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
But it was on the ocean floor that they had these imprints, these fossilized imprints of what looked like massive suction cups of a huge tentacle. | ||
And by that, they're making this pretty reasonable hypothesis, you know, and the bones of the whale being all fucked up, and then these giant suction cups that like, oh, there probably was this real monster that lived... | ||
I mean, if there's a whale... | ||
I mean, just a whale's ridiculous enough. | ||
That's... | ||
As weird as it gets, man. | ||
A super smart, giant, big thing that can't do anything, and it has to breathe air. | ||
It lives in the ocean and it breathes air. | ||
Like, what? | ||
That's so stupid. | ||
The design there didn't quite work out. | ||
It's ridiculous! | ||
It lives in the water, but yet it can go down the water for a little bit, but it's got to come up for air. | ||
And it can't even stop. | ||
It can't stop. | ||
Because if it stops, then it'll fucking sink and then it'll drown. | ||
That's fucking it. | ||
How do they, do they even sleep? | ||
They don't even sleep, right? | ||
They think they like, like dolphins, they like partially sleep. | ||
They like shut most of their brain off for a couple hours a day. | ||
You see this video of the octopus opening the jar to get the food inside and then shutting the jar? | ||
Oh yeah, I have seen this, yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
Have you seen the octopus jack the shark? | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
What? | ||
Yeah, there was another one in the aquarium. | ||
They were finding a lot of sharks were missing. | ||
They were trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. | ||
And they put a video camera up and they saw... | ||
You can watch that. | ||
That one definitely exists. | ||
If you look for octopus eats shark... | ||
And this fucking octopus just jump on this shark and jack him. | ||
Damn. | ||
It's just jiu-jitsu. | ||
Once they get a hold of his body, he's helpless. | ||
They just eat him. | ||
You know, it's really simple. | ||
Everybody thinks, oh, who would win, a shark or an octopus? | ||
Oh, dude, for sure a shark. | ||
The fuck it would. | ||
Octopus move fast. | ||
Shark is stupid. | ||
They try to bite you. | ||
You just wrap that bitch up. | ||
Watch this shit. | ||
It's kind of crazy. | ||
It's hard to see on this. | ||
unidentified
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The TV behind you. | |
Yeah, there you go. | ||
The TV behind you. | ||
And I can look at this one back here. | ||
But this octopus just fucked the shark up, man. | ||
The shark was like, yeah, man, I'm a shark. | ||
I'm just going to fuck somebody up today. | ||
The shark never thought that anybody was going to eat him. | ||
Sharks don't even really have any natural predators. | ||
You know, I mean, who the fuck's running around eating sharks? | ||
Occasionally an orca will kill a shark. | ||
But they only do it because the sharks are too close to their babies. | ||
They're not, like, trying to eat them. | ||
It's pretty rare. | ||
Look at this stupid fucking shark. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
I'm just running shit down here. | ||
unidentified
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That's the live one right there. | |
That's crazy. | ||
He's waiting. | ||
unidentified
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How long can an octopus live outside of water, though? | |
When I saw that video, I was like, doesn't he need water? | ||
I don't know, but lobsters can live outside a long fucking time. | ||
You ever get a lobster in the mail? | ||
No. | ||
You can do that? | ||
Yeah, you get lobsters in the mail. | ||
unidentified
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That's crazy. | |
Yeah, and they're on ice. | ||
unidentified
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Look at that. | |
Here it goes. | ||
Bitch, come here. | ||
The shark swims over the octopus, and the octopus just wraps this bitch up with some strong jujitsu. | ||
That's total jujitsu, bro. | ||
Look at his hooks. | ||
Yeah, he's got his back. | ||
He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, my friend. | ||
Right now, this is De La Riva guard because he's trying to get away. | ||
unidentified
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Looks like he's got ringworm also. | |
He's trying to bite him, too. | ||
The shark might bite him a little, but here's the crazy thing about Octopus. | ||
You can bite their limbs off. | ||
It doesn't matter, bitch. | ||
Grow another one. | ||
They grow another one. | ||
They're super adaptable. | ||
So this shark is biting him, but so what? | ||
He's just getting jacked. | ||
He's getting totally anaconded here. | ||
Spun around. | ||
Yeah, their suction cups are badass, man. | ||
It's a badass design. | ||
Everything just pulls it into one center where there's a giant fucking beak. | ||
And that beak just jacks your ass. | ||
unidentified
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Wow. | |
That's cool. | ||
That's nature. | ||
Meanwhile, the crazy thing is their eyes and our eyes are very similar. | ||
They're very similar biologically, which is amazing. | ||
Somewhere along the line, some hundreds of millions of years ago, we were probably cousins of an octopus. | ||
We branched off into different ways in the ocean floor. | ||
We went one way, they went another way. | ||
They went this way of just blending in their environment and jacking sharks. | ||
And here we are, jacking the world. | ||
That's awesome. | ||
So, back to religion. | ||
Let's come back to religion. | ||
Did I ask you what was the oldest religion? | ||
Yeah, I mean, I guess some form of animism is basically... | ||
So you were telling me about the cave guys? | ||
Yeah, for lack of a better term, scholars call it animism or shamanism or whatever you want to call it. | ||
It's basically tribal religions, and they have enormous variation from one tribe to another, but they have some common themes. | ||
They tend to see nature as alive, in nature as alive with spirits, spirits in everything from trees to animals to all sorts of stuff. | ||
The idea, kind of like Star Wars, that there's a power in everything. | ||
A force to it all. | ||
Much like the force, exactly, that you can tap into. | ||
And it has no morality. | ||
It's not about you have to be a good person. | ||
unidentified
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So there's some cool stuff out there. | |
But yeah, it varies tremendously from one tribe to the next. | ||
And it wasn't written down. | ||
It wasn't an organized region in that sense. | ||
And I mean, some of that still exists to this day. | ||
In some tribal culture, that's still what's going on. | ||
What's the official belief as far as what's taught in schools when it comes to cattle worship? | ||
Why are there so many cattle worshiping tribes? | ||
unidentified
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Because it's delicious. | |
Yeah, exactly. | ||
That's definitely true. | ||
But they worship them as gods and they don't even eat them in some parts of the world. | ||
Right, India and stuff. | ||
How much does that have to do with psychedelic drugs? | ||
Well, that's one of the theories about Hinduism. | ||
It's about how a lot of it began with Soma. | ||
And Soma was considered to be, some people say it was Amanita Muscaria, you know, the mushroom and... | ||
They say that. | ||
They also say Streferiocubensis, and it might have been a combination, sort of a cocktail that they put together. | ||
It's amazing that if you know about their religion and the place that Soma played in it, that it was lost. | ||
Like, we don't know what it is. | ||
They would talk about Soma being greater than all these different things and Soma being amazing, but yeah, we don't know what Soma is. | ||
Somehow or another, they lost what Soma is. | ||
There's that guy, Gordon Wasson. | ||
Actually, I think I put him in the book in there, too, because it was too much of a fun story. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
I had that chapter entitled Peace, Drink, How did that one go? | ||
Let me see. | ||
And Wasson is the one who initially made psychedelic mushrooms popular with Western America. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I have a chapter entitled Peace-Drinking Draghi Priests Created Hinduism. | ||
Because one of the theories that Wasson has about that is that he believes he was Amanita Muscaria this summer. | ||
And the way he figured it out, he went through a bunch of these books referring to some, and he was saying, you know, they keep talking about a plant, but they don't talk about leaves, they don't talk about, you know, they refer to stem, they refer to some weird crap, right? | ||
And then, so he was thinking, he was starting to go in the mushroom direction, and then he finds out this piece of literature from somewhere else, where some shaman in Siberia, I think, was talking about how they... | ||
Filter Amanita Muscaria. | ||
And he had read about this triple filter that they're using for SOMA, where they do a couple of things to do it, and then there's a human filter. | ||
And he was like, what the hell is a human filter? | ||
He found out that if you take Amanita Muscaria, you get the high, but you also get really nauseous and weirded out. | ||
And you have to drink your piss. | ||
If you drink somebody else's piss, you get the high, but they get stuck with the cracky part. | ||
They get all the side effects. | ||
Really? | ||
You don't. | ||
Well, I know that people drink their own piss when they're tripping, when they're taking aminidia or when they're taking stropharia cubensis. | ||
They'll drink their own urine and they blast off, apparently. | ||
I talked to this dude. | ||
He was like, I don't want to drink my piss. | ||
This is crazy. | ||
And everyone's like, dude, trust me. | ||
Drink your piss. | ||
He's like, I'm tripping balls. | ||
And they're telling me I need to drink my piss to get higher than this. | ||
He goes, I don't want to get higher than this. | ||
Like, trust me. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
And he goes, okay. | ||
And he goes, I drink my piss. | ||
And he goes, and all of a sudden, it was like a tornado opened up in front of my eyes. | ||
And I got sucked through the center of it. | ||
And he said it was the craziest trip and the most enlightening trip of his life. | ||
Yeah, it's funny. | ||
That at least is your own. | ||
In this case, it's even grosser because it's somebody else. | ||
It's just because you don't want to get the side effects. | ||
I may or may not have watched people drink animal piss. | ||
I may or may not have. | ||
I can't discuss this. | ||
unidentified
|
How much money did you pay for that? | |
I can't discuss this until... | ||
No, it was in person. | ||
I didn't pay anything. | ||
I actually got paid. | ||
But it might not be real. | ||
And I can't discuss this until... | ||
Ironically and totally unrelated after Fear Factor starts airing, which airs in December 12th. | ||
unidentified
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Cool. | |
The human filter was a popular thing. | ||
People would just sell their own. | ||
Would they sell it? | ||
Would they just make a deal? | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's like one line in some 4,000-year-old book or something, so nobody really knows. | ||
And it could be that Western is speculating and going off the deep end with that. | ||
Could be. | ||
But it's an interesting, it's a fun theory, if nothing else. | ||
Amanita muscaria is a very strange mushroom because they believe it's not only variable genetically, but it's variable by location, seasonally, and that some of them might not even be psychoactive. | ||
Some of them might not even work. | ||
I've tried Amanita when nothing happened. | ||
I tried it. | ||
I went on a combinatory experience. | ||
We tried the Amanita. | ||
We tried it for a few hours and nothing took. | ||
Then we took some regular mushrooms and then we blasted it off. | ||
So it was a combination of the two of them was ultra-potent. | ||
The Amanita did something weird, but it wasn't really getting you off. | ||
It was just getting you to this weird headspace. | ||
I was like, what is going on here? | ||
Is this what this stuff is? | ||
I just think it wasn't strong enough. | ||
It wasn't good enough. | ||
And I think there's parts of the world where they really know how to do it. | ||
In Siberia, especially. | ||
Especially in this thing about Siberia. | ||
The Amanita muscaria mushroom is essentially Christmas. | ||
It's essentially Santa Claus. | ||
Well, people don't know that the Christmas theme and the mushroom theme are so closely related. | ||
They're even the same color. | ||
The Amanita mushroom is Santa Claus. | ||
It's white and red. | ||
And it has a mycorrhizal relationship with certain coniferous trees so that it grows only under those trees just like packages under your fucking Christmas tree. | ||
It's really amazing. | ||
And people would gather them and the way to dry them out was they would put them on the fucking trees, on the branches of the trees, so the sun would get them and it would dry them out. | ||
It's like that's the ornaments on the trees. | ||
It's like all of it is there. | ||
There's so many connections. | ||
And it's been argued that, you know, someone told me that Coca-Cola was the first one to actually make a red and white Santa Claus and that he was a different color before then. | ||
But that's not really true. | ||
There's evidence of red and white Santas from a long time ago. | ||
Right. | ||
But the Santa doesn't even matter. | ||
What really matters is the fucking presence under the tree, the relationship that it has with the tree, the reason why we have Christmas trees and they're always fucking pine trees, man. | ||
I mean, the whole thing, it's like, wow, the relationship's so close. | ||
unidentified
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I do. | |
The color of it and the fact that we hang stockings over the fireplace and those stockings... | ||
When the fuck did you ever get a pair of red and white stockings that you wore? | ||
You don't. | ||
I don't do that too often. | ||
But that's also how they dry mushrooms out in their home. | ||
They hang them in front of the fireplace and that's what dries them out. | ||
It's really incredible. | ||
You didn't know that? | ||
It's an incredible series of whether they're coincidences. | ||
I mean, I wouldn't say coincidence. | ||
I would say there's evidence that there's a relationship. | ||
And there's a bunch of people that have studied this. | ||
There's a guy, Andrew Rudiger and Jan Ervin. | ||
They've done a lot of study on this stuff. | ||
And the great Jack Herrer was actually writing a book about this before he died. | ||
The relationship with Christianity and mushrooms as well. | ||
He had all these really cool ancient paintings of people who were naked, dancing in ecstasy under the very clear, transparent silhouette of the shape of a mushroom. | ||
This is really amazing stuff. | ||
If you ever look at the really old pictures of halos, that's fascinating too. | ||
The new halos are like a frisbee or like a hula hoop floating around the back of your head, but the old halos were literally on the underside of a mushroom cap. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
Yeah, and it has the lines in it, just like a mushroom does. | ||
And it's really a trip when you see that. | ||
You go, oh, my God. | ||
What they were saying was these people were under the spell of the mushroom. | ||
They were enlightened because they were under the spell of the mushroom. | ||
And there's mushroom symbology all throughout ancient buildings and doorways are mushroom-shaped. | ||
Literally, these temples had mushroom-shaped doorways. | ||
Fuck, man. | ||
How many people were on mushrooms back then? | ||
unidentified
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You know, no internet, no TV. You got to keep entertaining somehow. | |
Yeah, that's the move, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Goddamn, man. | ||
So when you're teaching these classes, do you ever get anybody who's angry at you? | ||
Do you ever get anybody who wants to talk to you after class and just like, you know, hey, what you're doing is wrong or... | ||
No, for the most part, they're mellow. | ||
I mean, and again, I try to do it in a way that I try not to be offensive to the individual. | ||
I may say something harsh. | ||
I always say something harsh about the big picture, but on an individual level, it's like, hey, man, it doesn't mean I hate you, you know? | ||
It's like, we're playing here. | ||
We're tossing ideas. | ||
I'm not attached to my ideas. | ||
You tell me something that makes sense, I'll change my mind right now, you know? | ||
It's like, I'm not here to defend an ideology, so who cares? | ||
We're just playing here, you know? | ||
So people mellow out, and once in a while we have discussions. | ||
I had a Muslim student who was a very nice guy, but obviously wasn't too keen. | ||
He loved me when I talk shit about other religions, but of course he had some issues when I started picking on the Quran. | ||
One thing I picked on was this passage in the Quran that basically justified beating up your wife if she's disobedient. | ||
And he's a nice guy, so he doesn't really want to support that. | ||
But at the same time, he doesn't want to go against the Koran. | ||
So he was like struggling, trying to figure out what do I do with it. | ||
He came up with this weird ass theory a week later telling me, you know what? | ||
This is God telling you that you shouldn't beat up women. | ||
And I'm like, yeah, that's sweet, except that it's saying that you should. | ||
unidentified
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So what's going on here? | |
Exactly. | ||
He's like, no, no, he's using subtle psychology, you know, because if he tells you not to, then you get pissed and you want to do it. | ||
So first he tells you that you should talk to them. | ||
And then if they don't reform, then you banish them to another room. | ||
And only as a last resort, then you can beat them up. | ||
So really he's telling you that you shouldn't beat them up, but he's doing it in a smart way. | ||
And I was like... | ||
Oh my fucking god. | ||
Can you just take that maybe there's some good stuff in the Koran and you cut some crap? | ||
No, they're the most dogmatic. | ||
The radical Muslims are the most dogmatic about it. | ||
What do you find to be the most ridiculous? | ||
Are religions universally ridiculous? | ||
No, I think all the people, all the ones who believe that there's only one right way that has been revealed by God to them, and so they are super hardcore dogmatic. | ||
And mostly, I mean, you're talking about Muslim fundamentalists, today in particular Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists throughout much of history. | ||
They mellowed out a little today. | ||
They let you paint them. | ||
You can still draw Jesus. | ||
You draw Muhammad, they'll fucking shoot you and blow your house up. | ||
But I think it's all in Western. | ||
Western monotheistic religions have the tendency to have the unhealthiest, more rabid, I'll kill you if you disagree kind of mentality. | ||
Most Asian things, I mean, you can agree, you can disagree, but they are kind of like, eh, you know, if you disagree, who the hell cares? | ||
Do your thing. | ||
Yeah, Asian martial arts. | ||
Or Asian, rather, religions. | ||
What about the idea that the most dogmatic and the most restrictive religions are really the religions that have come from the areas that have the oldest civilizations? | ||
Right. | ||
And so, almost like Sumerh. | ||
which is where Iraq is and you know really famously is a part of the world that is still in the Dark Ages right in a lot of ways yeah you know the the battles between the Sunnis and the Shiites and they just the Kurds and all the shit that happened with Saddam Hussein and right and you go back to that area I mean you say well you know this this area literally was Sumerr the This is Babylon. | ||
This is where, you know, literally the first religions were created, as far as we know. | ||
And when you think about that, like the people that are still there, They're much more influenced by the deep, deep past than people that have spread out to all parts of the world as travelers, especially Americans. | ||
That's the last example of a new continent that we know that just over the last few hundred years has been established. | ||
Yeah, I'm kind of scared of anything that comes out of the desert. | ||
The desert is a fucking place. | ||
Some people do well in it, but for the most part... | ||
It's a harsh environment, man. | ||
It's harsh, man. | ||
All you want to do is you just squeeze between two rocks and pray that your brain doesn't start oozing out of your head. | ||
It's brutal. | ||
Religions that come out of the desert, I can see how they have something to do with. | ||
People that come out of the desert. | ||
You ever drive from California to Vegas? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
It's scary business. | ||
Drive from California to Vegas and you get out and you just smell crime, dude. | ||
You just smell fear and anger. | ||
Fear and loathing. | ||
Right, exactly. | ||
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
Hunter S. Thompson fucking nailed it. | ||
I mean, it's not a mistake that he drove in a convertible taking it all in while on ether. | ||
I strongly recommend that, yes. | ||
Yeah, that's probably the way to see it correctly. | ||
Yeah, no, so that's with religions. | ||
I mean, religion come out from beautiful mountains and rivers and shit. | ||
I'm sure it's going to do something to its ideology where they are, maybe, not always, but more likely than not, they're going to have a more mellow view of life. | ||
Well, there's only one really mellow religion, right? | ||
That's Buddhism. | ||
Buddhism is pretty mellow. | ||
In fact, I have no problems with it. | ||
I can disagree with some stuff in Buddhism, but it's pleasant disagreement. | ||
And they are not, at least for the most part, as hardcore trying to shove it down your throat, so it's a little more relaxed to have a dialogue. | ||
Yeah, I really appreciate that. | ||
I really appreciate religions that don't proselytize. | ||
I really appreciate Judaism. | ||
Nobody's trying to get you to be a Jew. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
And you really can't even join. | ||
It's really hard to join. | ||
You've got to marry some chick. | ||
That's what my uncle did. | ||
My uncle converted. | ||
His name is Salvatore DiGiolando. | ||
Was that Italian? | ||
Yeah, he converted. | ||
He became Jewish. | ||
It's interesting to me that there's no... | ||
I wouldn't say there's no new religions, but there's no new respected religions. | ||
There's everything where you can look back and... | ||
Some people take Scientology seriously, but for the most part, it seems to be just a group. | ||
You can call it a religion, but... | ||
No one in that really is believing, at least I don't think they are, believing the stories of Scientology the same way that people are believing the ridiculous stories. | ||
I mean, especially when it's written by a science fiction author. | ||
I know, but because we know more shit today. | ||
You know, it's like you can make some great claims about some distant past where nobody knows shit, then you can spin a story that nobody can disprove today. | ||
In three seconds, people find out all about you when you're like, hey, isn't your prophet the guy who was like ranting some child porn the other day? | ||
And he's like, what are you talking about? | ||
So it's a little harder to get away with stuff. | ||
Do you remember the Ted Haggard documentary they did for HBO? And one of the things he goes to look for a job. | ||
And after he gets out, he goes, I think I'll be okay unless they Google me. | ||
That's what he said. | ||
I think I'll be okay. | ||
I'll get the job unless they Google me. | ||
That's great. | ||
That's hilarious, man. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
He's back to teaching again. | ||
He's got a church now. | ||
Don't you love it? | ||
Those guys are so hardcore about morality and this and that. | ||
Not that they mellow out a little bit, which would be healthy. | ||
No, they go all like, I'll do methamphetamine with a gay hooker. | ||
That's like, you're the one who's arguing that masturbation is the ultimate scene. | ||
And it's like, Jesus. | ||
Ted Haggerty blocked me on Twitter. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He did. | ||
I made a joke. | ||
He was talking about church. | ||
He's like, after church, maybe, you know, sandwiches and a picnic and then dot, dot, dot. | ||
And I wrote meth and blowjobs. | ||
Yeah, I mean, but he might at you. | ||
unidentified
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Come on. | |
Yeah, what the fuck, man? | ||
You can't just leave that out there. | ||
No, that's just funny. | ||
He blocked me. | ||
Blocked me on Twitter. | ||
The fuck? | ||
I block people, too, but only when they're assholes. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
You say something that funny, but, you know, some people, they've got no sense of humor. | ||
Priests that get busted with gay hookers and meth, rarely can they laugh at it. | ||
No, usually not. | ||
Unfortunately. | ||
So, the most unreasonable religion would have to be Islam, right? | ||
The most... | ||
I mean, you can't make fun of them, you can't... | ||
Today is pretty tough to do. | ||
You know that woman that had to go into hiding and change her name? | ||
She was a columnist and she wanted to have a draw Muhammad Monday. | ||
And she had so many threats against her life. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really. | ||
They will kill you. | ||
Isn't that amazing? | ||
It's amazing that that's tolerated. | ||
Like, that's some bullshit. | ||
You need to fucking relax. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
One thing that trips me out is the reaction. | ||
Like, when there were the Muhammad cartoons. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
When there were even Salman Rushdie back in the day. | ||
Yeah. | ||
A bunch of the Western world were saying, yeah, sure, the violence is bad, the Muslim reaction, but really is this terrible and offensive what these people are doing. | ||
And I'm just like, are you kidding me? | ||
You know, you're giving in to book burners and arguing that people want to squash freedom of opinion that's in the name of respecting religion. | ||
Yeah, if you want to go to war, if the United States wants to go to war, you should go to war with anybody that wants to kill a lady who suggests that you should have a draw Muhammad Monday. | ||
That's who we should go to war with. | ||
Go to war with them. | ||
Have people that pretend to do shit like that. | ||
Find out who's ready to kill them and then go get them. | ||
Go get them, boys. | ||
Those are the jackasses of the world. | ||
Those are the people who you can't bounce that far back from where they are. | ||
They need to die and come back and live life again and try to learn from this life's experiences because you're not going to bounce back from being a guy who's willing to cut the heart out of a woman who wants to have a draw Muhammad Monday. | ||
That guy's never going to be a productive member of society. | ||
He's not like, oh, I don't tip well at the restaurant. | ||
That's a pretty big flaw right there. | ||
Yeah, there's like a number, like a place where you go where you can't bounce back. | ||
You're so much of a piece of shit and so much of a problem in society that you can't... | ||
I say child molesters. | ||
I say anything along those murderers. | ||
You can't bounce back from that. | ||
You can't. | ||
You gotta stop. | ||
We gotta clean house. | ||
And it's just like you have to prune trees and you have to shoot horses with broken legs. | ||
Right, Brian? | ||
unidentified
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Yes. | |
What the fuck are we talking about, man? | ||
It's supposed to be about religion. | ||
So you didn't learn anything doing this book. | ||
You will learn something about the reactions, people. | ||
Have you braced yourself for controversy? | ||
And even this conversation, you know? | ||
I'm sure there's going to be people. | ||
You're lucky you don't have a Twitter. | ||
Seriously. | ||
Do you have a Facebook? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, I know. | |
Can people Facebook you? | ||
unidentified
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I know. | |
What is it? | ||
Is it Danielle Bolelli? | ||
Yep. | ||
I have a nice picture of me holding my daughter, flipping people off. | ||
Really? | ||
Wow, so you're preparing for this response from the show. | ||
Did you do that in response? | ||
I think it was my attitude over the last few months, where I was like, I've been through enough shit, that's kind of my feeling toward the universe. | ||
One end I'm protective of the only good thing there is, and then the other end I'm like, fuck you all. | ||
Is your go-to karaoke song by R.E.M. by chance? | ||
No, it's Pavarotti. | ||
That's right. | ||
When you get that accent, you might as well just bust out some opera. | ||
Go for it, right? | ||
Is that you saying it over there? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Okay. | ||
You alright? | ||
Don't hurt yourself over there. | ||
So your book, when is it going to be out? | ||
It should be this week. | ||
This week? | ||
They keep giving me different dates. | ||
I mean, Amazon has it for like December 20th, but Amazon always gets it wrong. | ||
So I talked to the publisher and they told me that it should be out this week. | ||
And it's Daniel Bolelli. | ||
How do you say it in Italian? | ||
Daniele Bolelli. | ||
Daniele. | ||
Daniele Bolelli. | ||
B-O-L-E-L-L-I. And you can find him on Facebook if you want. | ||
Look for the guy holding his daughter, giving you the finger. | ||
And this has been fun, man. | ||
Really interesting conversation. | ||
Thanks, man. | ||
And I hope people buy your book. | ||
And we've got to come back again. | ||
We'll talk about some more shit. | ||
I'm sure that's the beautiful thing about religion. | ||
There's hundreds and hundreds of hours of discussion just on the silliness, right? | ||
Or MMA or drugs or anything. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
It's been a lot of fun, man. | ||
Thank you very much. | ||
Thank you. | ||
All right. | ||
That's it, folks. | ||
Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast. | ||
Thank you to... | ||
Oh, go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
Click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN and you get 15% off. | ||
And thanks to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T.com for sponsoring us as well, the makers of AlphaBrain, the Cognitive Enhancing Supplement. | ||
I can't. | ||
I should use some. | ||
unidentified
|
I should take one. | |
I've talked too much. | ||
unidentified
|
It's that caffeine withdrawal. | |
It is, probably. | ||
I'm probably half retarded now. | ||
The new stuff is New Mood. | ||
It's a 5-HTP and L-tryptophan supplement. | ||
And we also have Shroom Tech, a Cordyceps mushroom and B12 energy supplement that's fantastic for people who work out really hard. | ||
I fucking love it. | ||
I'm really getting into that stuff lately. | ||
This Wednesday, as in tomorrow, we are having a show here at the Ice House in Pasadena. | ||
What time is the show, Brian? | ||
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
I haven't figured it out yet. | ||
We haven't figured it out yet. | ||
That's how we roll, bitches. | ||
It's wild. | ||
We're crazy. | ||
But it'll be a lot of cool guys. | ||
Burt Kreischer's going to be on the show. | ||
Burt Kreischer's also going to be on the Ice House Chronicles podcast that we do whenever we have a show here at the Ice House. | ||
During the time the guys are on stage and before everyone's on stage, we'll do a podcast right here at this Death Squad studio. | ||
Kreischer will be on that. | ||
Hopefully Joey Diaz. | ||
Is Joey in town? | ||
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
Mad flavor, bitches. | ||
We'll have to bring Joey in. | ||
unidentified
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We've been having some kick-ass shows. | |
They're amazing. | ||
Last one was Steve-O, Bill Burr, who else? | ||
Ari Shafir, Joey Diaz, Brendan Walsh, me. | ||
These are the craziest shows you can get, and it's cheap. | ||
What is it, $15? | ||
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
Yeah, $15. | ||
It's a real cool place because it's intimate. | ||
It's only 85 seats. | ||
We also have a show Friday every week usually for Death Squad where I take all the other people like Sam Tripoli, Jason Tebow, Tom Segura and all those guys and I give them their own separate show too. | ||
Solid shows if you're around and you want to check those out. | ||
Even if you don't know the guys' names, I guarantee you if they're on these shows, they're solid. | ||
So this weekend's the UFC. Oh, who else we got? | ||
We got Doug Stanhope, bitches! | ||
Doug Stanhope will be joining us on Thursday. | ||
Thursday, Doug Stanhope is going to join us. | ||
He's got a show Wednesday and Thursday. | ||
Wednesday is at the Irvine Improv and Thursday is at the Brea Improv. | ||
So, we're going to bring him down here on Thursday, do a podcast with Doug, get piss-eyed drunk, and then take him out to the Improv in Brea that night. | ||
So, if you're looking to see him, go to the Irvine Improv's website. | ||
Just Google that shit, son. | ||
Go see Doug Stanhope on Wednesday at Irvine and then Thursday in Brea. | ||
Doug will be here on Thursday. | ||
For a podcast. | ||
unidentified
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Word. | |
That's it. | ||
The fucking show's over. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Daniella. | ||
Daniella? | ||
Did I say it right? | ||
You got it. | ||
Daniella Ballelli. | ||
My friend, you've brought us some very interesting topics for conversation here. | ||
And I'm going to check out your book. | ||
And check out his new book, 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know About Religion, which should be out this week on info.com. | ||
Disinfo. | ||
Disinfo. | ||
Not info.com. | ||
Info. | ||
They're a bunch of fucking liars. | ||
Disinfo.com. | ||
We're telling you the truth. | ||
Subscribe to Death Squad. | ||
It's the only way on iTunes to subscribe to it because it's the only way you can get the Ice House Chronicles, which I think is one of the best podcasts out there. | ||
It's all of us hanging out pre-shows and after shows, and you get some hilarious shit out of it. | ||
It's a lot of fun. | ||
Everybody's getting amped up for the show, and there's a lot of shit talking, and it's always fun when you've got like ten comics in a room together. | ||
The last one was beautiful. | ||
It was Joey Diaz and Brendan Walsh, and it was everybody. | ||
The one before with Yoshi. | ||
I mean, they're really fun. | ||
All right. | ||
The fucking show's over. | ||
Love you bitches. | ||
See ya. |