Sept. 28, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:34
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| It's going right now? | ||
| This is it! | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Buckle up, bitches, because Mayhem Miller and our pal Ryan Parsons are here and we're going to get down to the nitty gritty. | ||
| We're going to dig deep. | ||
| We're going to figure out what the fuck is going down. | ||
| We're going to crack some shells and get some eggs of wisdom. | ||
| Ryan Parsons, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Ryan is a good buddy of ours and a training partner and manager and trainer of Jason Mayhem Miller. | ||
| Jason Mayhem Miller is one of my good friends from the crazy world of MMA. Don't call it crazy, bro. | ||
| It's like derogatory. | ||
| It's derogatory? | ||
| Crazy is good, son. | ||
| Look at your hair, boy. | ||
| Just make sure, you know. | ||
| Look at your image, son. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You're selling it crazy. | ||
| That mayhem guy. | ||
| If you don't know who Mayhem is, he's also hosting this season of The Ultimate Fighter opposite Michael Bisping. | ||
| Looks like it's going to be an exciting season. | ||
| December 3rd, it's all going to go down. | ||
| Mayhem and Michael Bisping has a gold-old, old-fashioned fisticuffs. | ||
| They're going to get in there and take care of it. | ||
| December 3rd at the Hard Rock. | ||
| Or no, it's the Palms, which is the best place to see fights, bro. | ||
| If you've never been to the Palms. | ||
| It's going to sell out. | ||
| Get your ticket. | ||
| It's fucked for real. | ||
| We'll sell out quick. | ||
| But if you've never been there, literally the best place in the world to see fights. | ||
| The Palm, those rows, there's not a bad seat in the house. | ||
| It's really pitched at a severe angle with the seats. | ||
| Yeah, and they're like right next to the cage. | ||
|
unidentified
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Gladiator Stadium. | |
| Oh, it's fucking amazing. | ||
| It's the best seats ever, for sure, for MMA. Everybody that... | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| You agree, Brian. | ||
| You've been to a bunch of fights there, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| It's tight. | ||
| It's like the perfect size. | ||
| You could actually hear every noise. | ||
| Dude, it's like a private MMA fight with your friends. | ||
| Even though it's like 3,000 people or 4,000 people or something in there, whatever it is, it's the best environment for fights. | ||
| It's the perfect size. | ||
| And they give you a smaller cage, too. | ||
| I feel like I can't even say anything about it. | ||
| You know you're fighting in a smaller cage. | ||
|
unidentified
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Awesome. | |
| Yeah, it's a smaller cage. | ||
| It's the WEC size cage. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| We use a smaller cage because it's a smaller venue. | ||
| It's more difficult to... | ||
| We don't have like... | ||
| I'm sure there's parameters that they won't go past, but the cage is not always the same size. | ||
| We have two cages. | ||
| There's a smaller cage and there's a larger cage. | ||
| Like the king of the cage size. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, the king of the cage is probably a little smaller. | ||
| Back in the day, you watched the king of the cage. | ||
| That king of the cage is tiny, right? | ||
| No, man. | ||
| It was like fighting in a phone booth. | ||
|
unidentified
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I saw that. | |
| I saw the guys, I'm like, man, they were like just standing. | ||
| It's like one step and you're right there on the guy. | ||
| That was, back in the day, that was janky, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It was like literally, and then shit would break and then shit like they had a wet and wild show. | ||
| Wet and wild is just going to bring it up, yes. | ||
| Like they were fighting in the rain. | ||
| I remember going out there. | ||
| And thinking, you know, King of the Cage is cool, but even when I was a kid, I was like, man, I don't know if I want to fight in this. | ||
| So silly. | ||
| I mean, I like how the regulations came where things are better now, but back in the day, it was like, ah, whatever. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Just put some hay down. | ||
| They can fight right there. | ||
| But the way I always looked at it is the King of the Cage, they provided a very useful service. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| They got a lot of guys fights. | ||
| I mean, even if it's kind of a weird organization, they're doing everything sketchy style on Indian casinos only. | ||
| Because when they were doing it, they kept having fights even when it wasn't regulated. | ||
| It was because they were having fights on these Indian casinos. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| If they weren't doing that, how many guys wouldn't have gotten gigs? | ||
| How many guys wouldn't have gotten some experience? | ||
| I don't think that people should fight on the water, that Wet and Wild King of the Cage, if you've never seen it, folks. | ||
| Have you ever seen it? | ||
| No, but I've heard of it. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| Guys are throwing kicks and just falling on their ass like there's no way you could throw a kick. | ||
| You could barely throw a punch. | ||
| As you move forward, it was literally like some crazy hot oil wrestling sort of a situation. | ||
| Did they only do it once? | ||
| Wet and Wild. | ||
| Did they only do it once? | ||
| Yeah, they only did it once. | ||
| But, you know, other organizations have had fights in the rain, too. | ||
| I know one did recently. | ||
| I forget what it was, but not like this. | ||
| This is the most of it. | ||
| It's like snow football. | ||
| We've been there with a whole cage floor breaks. | ||
| Yeah, I was just... | ||
| Hey, Chael Stoddard slammed me into the floor one time. | ||
| When we were, like, 19, we fought way back in the day. | ||
| And he slammed me. | ||
| Oh, this is a good one. | ||
| And he slammed me into the floor. | ||
| The floor broke through with both of us down through the... | ||
| I'm like, uh... | ||
| How do you keep fighting? | ||
| I know! | ||
| It was a weird thing where we stood back and the referee was like, wait over there in that corner. | ||
| I'm like, what are they going to do right now? | ||
| I was like, this is a weird situation. | ||
| I'm sure he was thinking the same thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm like, what the hell? | |
| And then the referee comes back and is like... | ||
| Okay, this side of the floor is broken. | ||
| Just stay out of that area. | ||
| And then had us fight again. | ||
| I was like, alright. | ||
| And then it was like a gentleman's agreement during the fight. | ||
| Like, we would circle over to that way. | ||
| And then we both stopped kind of. | ||
| We were like, alright, over here, over here, over here. | ||
|
unidentified
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It was weird. | |
| It was like a street fight. | ||
| It was like a street fight. | ||
| Don't go by the metal thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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Don't go by the metal thing. | |
| Like that Kimbo fact, the famous one with the satellite dish in the backyard. | ||
| It was the same spirit of, all right, we're going to punch each other's fucking face, but watch out for that thing. | ||
| You know, I still get asked about Kimbo all the time. | ||
| He's like the number one fighter I get asked about. | ||
| When I do weird radio stations, yeah, like if I don't know the people and I call up and they start talking about fighters, almost always, whatever happened to that Kimbo slice? | ||
| That guy was the backyard brawler. | ||
| What was it about him that... | ||
| He connected like that. | ||
| He's black with a big crazy beard and he seemed cool even though he's beating the fuck out of people. | ||
| He was kind of a nice guy. | ||
| Like he shakes their hands afterwards and he's cool. | ||
| So it's like you kind of can root for him and he just goes out there and beats on people, man. | ||
| The one fight where he let that dude punch him in the face, he was going, come on, come on! | ||
| The dude was hitting him in the face. | ||
| It was legendary. | ||
| It's like, god damn! | ||
| I mean, if that carried over in the MMA, could you fucking imagine if he was really dominating dudes? | ||
| It could have. | ||
|
unidentified
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You could have put him against dudes he could beat up. | |
| They tried, but he was such a gap in the wrestling area that he couldn't do it. | ||
| It's also not like boxing. | ||
| This is my feeling on that. | ||
| I don't think the guy's afraid to fight, and I don't think the guy's afraid to learn. | ||
| But you can only learn so much. | ||
| And I think if you're in a situation like a boxing situation, they would take a guy who's a prospect. | ||
| And people who would be intelligent people that were thinking about the future would invest time and money in this guy and slowly build him up. | ||
| Slowly give him the fights that he needs to make him look good, the fights that he needs to test his wrestling. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| But the guy's older, you just gotta put him right in there. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| It's also that mixed martial arts model is very different than the boxing model. | ||
| The mixed martial arts model is get in there and if you get offered a shot at the title, fucking go for it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| It makes it more exciting for the fans, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it's like a more hectic breakneck pace. | ||
| The little storyline, if you want to call it that, they go. | ||
| All of a sudden, this is happening, this is happening. | ||
| Oh, I'm checking out my Google. | ||
| Everyone gets involved with the sport. | ||
| Like Shamar Bailey. | ||
| You know who Shamar Bailey is? | ||
| No. | ||
| The kid was on The Ultimate Fighter. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| Really good wrestler. | ||
| Very athletic kid. | ||
| His first fucking official fight in the UFC, Evan Dono. | ||
| Oh yeah, tough guy. | ||
| Evan Dunham, he was like a couple steps away from the title shot. | ||
| I mean, Evan Dunham is a high-level guy. | ||
| And Shamar, I mean, it was a tough fucking fight. | ||
| A real tough fight, because Shamar Bailey is tough as shit, dude. | ||
| The guy took a ton of punches to the face. | ||
| But it was like real obvious that he really shouldn't be fighting a guy at this level yet. | ||
| He should be building up to that level, right? | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| That's up to their manager, right? | ||
| That's what I was going to ask you. | ||
| How do you make that decision? | ||
| There's a decision where you've got to test him, you've got to see what happens, and then there's the other school of thought where, no, you've got to make sure that you know exactly what level he's at, and know exactly what level the opponent's at, so you can ensure that he's going to have a long career, or you can ensure that he develops properly. | ||
| How do you break that down in your head? | ||
| There's so many variables there. | ||
| Socaju is a great example. | ||
| First off, he wasn't making any money, so he couldn't really train properly. | ||
| Over a 10-week period, we had five fights fall through. | ||
| People look him up and go, nope, I'm not fighting this guy. | ||
| Yeah, and if you don't know who Sogiju is, he's a fucking crazy powerful judo dude who made a big splash in pride. | ||
| In pride, everybody thought he was going to be the second coming. | ||
| When he knocked out Hegerio with a wrist, he like wrist him in the face. | ||
| I heard you say this before. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Dude, yeah. | ||
| We were talking about this weekend. | ||
| We were talking about... | ||
| We were talking about tough guys that somehow or another just didn't click for them. | ||
| They just start off real good. | ||
| Like the Arona fight. | ||
| Goddamn, when he knocked out Arona. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| It was like, who's going to stop this guy? | ||
| He looked like this freak athlete, man. | ||
| When he hit Arona with that uppercut and blasted him backwards to put him out, I was like, Jesus. | ||
| He's a fucking threat. | ||
| But then it just doesn't happen, man. | ||
| He gets in there against top-level competition, and he just can't keep it together. | ||
| Well, that was top-level competition, those two fights. | ||
| Arona was probably a top three or four guy at that time. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| Why do you think there was a big difference between when he fought in Pride and when he fought in the United States? | ||
| I think that, and Jace can speak to this too, I think the experience of getting famous and the pressure that comes with winning big fights is a lot. | ||
| I know I've asked. | ||
| He's not going to give you easy fights to go along. | ||
| You go to the UFC, you have to be prepared to fight anybody. | ||
| That's what makes it cool. | ||
| Nobody gets brought along there. | ||
| Either you're going to go make it or you're not. | ||
| We're going to find out real quick, and this is why we all get so excited about it. | ||
| That is one way to look at it, but the other way to look at it is that if a fighter wanted to develop to his utmost, the best way to do it would be to engineer it. | ||
| And that someone, you know... | ||
| Would be able to... | ||
| Look, I'm just playing devil's advocate. | ||
| Obviously, I support the UFC way of doing it. | ||
| Even talking on the ultimate fighter, watch tonight. | ||
| We picked the fighters. | ||
| We picked the fighters. | ||
| And this first episode builds up to the first fight in the house. | ||
| Now, picking the correct fight and the correct fighters, you always want to try to get your guy a path. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| When the competition is high, there is no path necessarily. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But styles do make fights. | ||
| If you want to get your fighter to fight this dude, because more than likely his style is going to prevail. | ||
| But mixed martial arts, anything can happen. | ||
| That night is a different night. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How frustrating is that coaching guys? | ||
| What is that like? | ||
| I liked it a lot, but it gave me a newfound respect for Ryan's job. | ||
| I was like, Ryan's just got to yell at me. | ||
| I was like, whatever. | ||
| He's just fucking telling me to ground and pound. | ||
| I got it, bro. | ||
| Just tell me what to do. | ||
| Once you do it, you're like, oh, God, this is my whole brain. | ||
| Why am I thinking about this dude in the shower? | ||
| When I'm in the shower, I'm thinking about, oh, man. | ||
| I gotta teach this guy this move, or I gotta make sure he does this. | ||
| I'm like, oh, why am I stressing? | ||
| Like, it's my kids. | ||
| It never ends. | ||
| Yeah, but man, you only gotta do it with one dude, man. | ||
| You're lucky. | ||
| You gotta really focus on me. | ||
| But Jason said, too, when you start looking at styles and how these things match up, go back to Sokuju. | ||
| It was a safe fight for us because he got paid decent and he had no money. | ||
| And we were paying him every month. | ||
| Couldn't get any fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We looked at, what's his name, Rogerio, and said, okay, he's got good boxing. | ||
| We're pretty confident on soca juice boxing. | ||
| The game plan was the fight. | ||
| We did that same thing over and over again for six weeks. | ||
| With the thought being is, you'll take him down to the ground. | ||
| Worst case scenario for him here is he'll get submitted. | ||
| Well, he's not supposed to win anyways. | ||
| He's not going to get hurt. | ||
| He makes a bunch of money. | ||
| He gets his name out there. | ||
| And we thought that he was going to go win that fight, too. | ||
| So you start to look at who's the matchup's going to be, how those styles match up against each other, upside and downside, and weigh it out. | ||
| Same King Mo when he fought in Sengoku the first time. | ||
| Took a fight against Travis Few on six days' notice. | ||
| Well, I knew what Mo was capable of, and Travis Yu wasn't a dangerous threat on his feet. | ||
| He wasn't going to submit Mo from his back, go out there and shoot a double leg. | ||
| In my mind there, the worst case scenario was, okay, he'll have a boring fight and he'll be labeled a boring wrestler. | ||
| You know, no one wants to see him. | ||
| But for what they paid him a lot of money for that fight, risk or reward, it made a lot of sense. | ||
| It's also hard for guys when they first break in from other sports, too, right? | ||
| I mean, how hard is it for a guy like Mo, who comes in from wrestling and is, you know, just elite, at an elite level of wrestling, and then now all of a sudden he's got to deal with striking, now all of a sudden he's got to deal with shit that maybe he's not as good at, you know, as his key moves, you know? | ||
| It just depends on the guy. | ||
| I mean, Jason would probably speak that better than I can. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't even know what the hell you guys are talking about. | ||
| I just want to dance, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I just want to dance. | ||
| Don't we all, Steve? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, just out of nowhere. | ||
| Look, it's very rare that anybody gets into the mindset of a manager. | ||
| Someone who trains fighters and someone who coaches guys. | ||
| It's a very intimate relationship that you guys have. | ||
| Man, are you kidding me? | ||
| This guy's like my brother. | ||
| I want to beat him up all the time, but I want to hug him all the time, too. | ||
| If it wasn't him, it wouldn't be you, right? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's a hot match. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| It's an odd match, but it's funny most of the time. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's a reality show. | ||
| The Ultimate Fighter Season 14. For you, Ryan, I've known you for years, man. | ||
| It's got to be a maddening job at times, right? | ||
| I like the chaos of it. | ||
| It's how my brain works. | ||
| What I finally discover I'm really good at is taking a whole bunch of shit, putting it together, and making it all work really well. | ||
| Yeah, he's pretty good at that. | ||
| So think of what MMA does. | ||
| And especially for Jason, I have a huge creative side. | ||
| So especially in Japan, you get to sometimes... | ||
| Whatever, you do it here too, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
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We have like cool, like creative outs, like where we just like, oh, hey dude, what about this idea? | |
| Go look at mayhemmonkeys.com. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Oh yeah, mayhemmonkeys.com. | ||
| What's our latest one? | ||
| I really respect your opinion on MMA, and when you and I have conversations about stuff, I don't think we ever disagree. | ||
| It's very, very rare. | ||
| Like, occasionally... | ||
| If we do, it's because I'm hating and don't want to admit something. | ||
| To the Jon Jones one, you finally gave in on Jon Jones. | ||
| You gotta give in. | ||
| He's a freak. | ||
| Let's all admit when I'm wrong. | ||
| I don't have a problem with it. | ||
| That's a Superman. | ||
| That's the Ubermunch. | ||
| That's a dude who's just on another level. | ||
| That's ridiculous shit. | ||
| You know when you do that to Mayhem after you're fucking training for four years? | ||
| Yeah, he's pretty badass. | ||
| I mean, not Mayhem rather. | ||
| Shit, not me. | ||
| I didn't bite him. | ||
| I know, Rampage Mayhem, that's pretty damn easy. | ||
| When you look at a guy like that, that's why you want to stay at 185. Yeah, he's a tough-ass bastard. | ||
| He cuts down from a good amount of weight. | ||
| He looks sucked down at the weigh-in, and then he looks swole the next day. | ||
| I'm like, wow, that's a good weight cut. | ||
| He does a good job of cutting weight. | ||
| And he's fucking good. | ||
| Yeah, he's a beast. | ||
| But he's like a big, long, Dude, like, he does, like, weird, lanky guy shit at 205. Oh, man, thank you, bro. | ||
| I was getting annoyed at my voice. | ||
| Microphone's down here, though. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Remember that shit I was telling you, and you were like, oh, this is the most boring thing you've ever said in your life? | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| What was that about? | ||
| That was me telling the microphone's down here. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| Where's the microphone? | ||
| Before the show started, I was showing him where the microphone was. | ||
| No, but you said it like this. | ||
| You were like a robot. | ||
| I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| He was like, I even started singing Super Mario Brothers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you say I should spice it up a little? | |
| Yeah, you gotta spice it up. | ||
| No, but this is how he was talking. | ||
| He was like, hey guys, okay, so... | ||
| This is a different level of ADD you're dealing with. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This level of ADD. The microphone is down at the bottom. | |
| You have to grip it like it's a cock and just start sucking the ball. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Why did you cut both balls? | ||
| I look experienced. | ||
| It turned me on a little bit. | ||
| Oh, bro, I could talk like this anyway. | ||
| Yeah, Lord have mercy. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Lord have mercy. | ||
| Okay, let's try to pretend that people are actually listening. | ||
| Whatever, people are listening to squirt bottles sometimes, I think. | ||
| You two together make one awesome dude. | ||
| We should date. | ||
| You're actually kind of like girls I like to date, though. | ||
| Big crazy bitches? | ||
| Very insane. | ||
| Crowned to being arrested. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, really? | |
| You want to date my sister? | ||
| Are you holding it sideways like a gangster now? | ||
| Your microphone's to the side. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just like that I spit rhymes into this mic. | |
| Sorry, Joe Rogan looks hurt. | ||
| You're Joey Diaz-ing him. | ||
| Am I? Why? | ||
|
unidentified
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Why? | |
| What's the matter? | ||
| Mad Flavors, stay blocked! | ||
| Joey Diaz will get mad at you for not having pencils. | ||
| You don't have fucking pencils in your house! | ||
| Joe Rogan, how the fuck do you write something down? | ||
| He'll find something and you will not be able to let it go. | ||
| You gotta let him just ride out that storm and crash that. | ||
| You don't have fucking pencils in your house. | ||
| No, the first time he did it, to me, I was confused. | ||
| I was like, are you really angry or are you joking? | ||
| I was like, are you joking? | ||
| Are you really angry? | ||
| I was like, oh shit, he's really angry right now about something stupid. | ||
| But no, just for a moment, he just goes into a blast. | ||
| I understand that dude a little bit. | ||
| I feel like he's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, he's just got to let it out sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, just scream in your car in traffic for no reason. | ||
| Just scream to the top of your lungs. | ||
| All the most fun people are crazy. | ||
| You just got to figure out what their crazy is and maneuver around it. | ||
| Try to let them know. | ||
| You know that's there, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Keep your crazy slut. | ||
| Hey, Joe, I interviewed Brody today. | ||
| Brody Stevens? | ||
| Brody Stevens, he walked us through. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out of here! | |
| Me and Esther. | ||
| At home? | ||
| At your house? | ||
| Yeah, and we went through the whole entire thing from start to finish. | ||
| For folks who don't know, why don't you explain what happened? | ||
| Because Brody Stevens was a friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I know about this. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Tell us what happened. | ||
| Brody pretty much got sick when he was performing, and he decided to take medicine to help strep throat and a couple things, and he stopped taking his other medicine, which was Lexapro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he came back to the United States, was still sick, still taking antibiotics, but wasn't taking his medication, and then started to go on the... | ||
| He went on TMZ and hosted TMZ for a week, or a day. | ||
| So he was on TMZ as the host. | ||
| He took over Harvey's spot for the day. | ||
| And then, the next day, he was having all this positive energy about being on tour on TMZ. And he started to, like, go to people at Starbucks that were angry or mean or had negative energy and would call them out on their shit. | ||
| And then there was a video where he called out a gangbanger kid that was hanging out in front of 7-Eleven scaring girls. | ||
| And so there's a video of him filming, like, using his phone, filming, like, hey... | ||
| He was pretty much attacking negative people. | ||
| And what happened is it got kind of spinned out of control. | ||
| He was having a manic episode and he got committed into a hospital. | ||
| He weighed time out. | ||
| He was... | ||
| Negative people? | ||
| Were they all negative? | ||
| Or is he just like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, people are complicated characters. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| We went really into detail. | ||
| Because one of the things, he went to Starbucks and did it. | ||
| Like, where this guy was like... | ||
| Well, I think when you're saying negative people, it's just what Brody thought. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| Like, some people could just be a dude trying to get a fucking cup of coffee looking like a gangster. | ||
| We're establishing that Brody went crazy. | ||
| Yeah, he pretty much went crazy. | ||
| I know, but he said it like it wasn't that crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, let me finish. | |
| No, because what I said is that if I was at Starbucks and you just started talking to me saying, hey, I like your shoes and stuff, I might not have said what made him go crazy, what the guy said to him, which was, please don't talk to me. | ||
| I would have said, like, you know, kind of amused it for a while and then stopped talking or, you know, kind of ignored him. | ||
| But he, it was very interesting to listen to and now he's on, changed his medication and now he seems like a very relaxed, like, kind of like he's dissecting himself character. | ||
| We did this really cool interview today. | ||
| It's going to be up later tonight. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I can't wait to look at this because I'm really interested in this. | ||
| For me, mental illness is the most interesting thing on earth. | ||
| Everyone has some form or some variance of the normal human beings. | ||
| And to see this kind of thing, to see where this guy had the super creative burst of, I mean, what is that? | ||
| That's crazy that we don't think about that more. | ||
| A lot of people can, if you're smart and have a mental illness, you can shift the world into a different way of thinking. | ||
| I have a theory about that. | ||
| I have a theory about human behavior in general when it comes to that. | ||
| I think one of the reasons why we're so unstable, I think it's almost engineered to make sure that we keep moving and that more things get done. | ||
| Because I think that when things are stable and when people are at rest and at peace and calm, not much gets done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh really? | |
| Like mutations. | ||
| Yeah, I think one of the reasons why people fuck their own lives up is there's almost like a pull. | ||
| The universe has a pull for you to fuck up just so you keep making mistakes and keep moving things in the same direction. | ||
| Make sure that things keep moving. | ||
| Your relationship's always going to fuck up. | ||
| Your jobs are always going to fuck up. | ||
| There's always going to be chaos. | ||
| There's always going to be things that go wrong, constantly. | ||
| And it's because that's the only way things stay moving. | ||
| The only way things stay moving is you have to be flexible and pliable as the world falls apart all around you. | ||
| Your success is dependent on how you deal with that, though. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| I was just having this discussion last night. | ||
| It's inevitable. | ||
| You either sink or swim. | ||
| Like you're going to hit the bad lottery sometimes and get robbed outside your hometown. | ||
| That can happen. | ||
| But I think that we're programmed to do that. | ||
| No, but I'm saying that bad stuff, you're going to hit the lottery sometimes, but you just got to power through and just drive through this negative stuff, this negative stop on your road. | ||
| Learn from everything. | ||
| I'm convinced one part of self-destruction, not the whole part, that one part is if you're not growing or progressing in life, you do something to create that chaos where you have to do something to break through. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, that's a good way to say it. | ||
| You and I have had that conversation a couple of times before, and I always admire the way you see it. | ||
| And it really is that you will set yourself up. | ||
| You will give yourself shit to think about. | ||
| Now, what you do with that is depend on, do you crash like you're friended, or do you use that for awareness and growth and your life goes to a new place? | ||
| You really can't ever stop growing. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| If you think you stop growing, you're going to fuck yourself. | ||
| If you say, this is it, I'm done, I'm just not even going to think about things anymore, I'm not going to try, I'm just going to relax, and you're going to get cancer. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Some shit's going to go wrong. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything's going great for me! | |
| I think I'm just going to get married, have some dogs, you know, just chill out a little bit. | ||
| Nope, you got cancer, bitch! | ||
| You're going to get bored and you're going to die. | ||
| You've got to keep moving, you've got to excite yourself, you've got to stimulate shit. | ||
| You know what I'm going to start doing? | ||
| I'm going to start going fishing. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I don't go fishing, and people are fucking into it. | ||
| And I went to Lake Estate the other day, and they're catching 25-pound striped bass. | ||
| And I'm like, I want to catch a fucking 25-pound striped bass. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| More excitement. | ||
| More good stuff. | ||
| That's what you got to do, man. | ||
| You got to keep shit moving. | ||
| The smart people choose it, though. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, you've got to kind of engineer your consciousness to a certain extent, or to a certain extent. | ||
| There's a lot of people that purposely surround themselves with exciting things, because they're like, fuck, I want life to be exciting. | ||
| I want to go, even dumb shit, I want to go run with the bulls. | ||
| Running with the bulls is a perfect example of how people will insert excitement into their life that makes absolutely no sense. | ||
| I get it too. | ||
| I've never done it and I probably would though. | ||
| It's not my thing. | ||
| If I was there and I was hammered and I was pretty sure I could fucking run fast, I might do it. | ||
| I might do it. | ||
| No, I might not. | ||
| No, I wouldn't do it. | ||
| I would get real close and then I think ultimately I'd hear the bulls and I'd go, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| I'd climb a wall. | ||
| Whatever, bro. | ||
| You wouldn't I would run. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| You would. | ||
| I could hold you there. | ||
| I would be like, no dude bro, let's just do it. | ||
| Let's just do it. | ||
| You probably could hold me and I would ask you to please not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd be like, just wait until we at least see the bull. | |
| They're coming, they're coming. | ||
| Bro, you're not even wearing a red sash. | ||
| Who runs faster? | ||
| You're a bull. | ||
| I would have to say a bull. | ||
| Yeah, no shit. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, but you gotta fucking dodge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the whole thing. | |
| Jump out into the street. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta jump or run away from it. | ||
| I've seen some people that didn't dodge though, man, and that shit looks so unfun. | ||
| But that's the point. | ||
| You You don't want to be that guy. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, sometimes it's going to happen, but you just don't want to be that guy. | ||
| It's like skydiving or bungee diving. | ||
| And if you did, you probably won't die. | ||
| And you'll just have a scar and be like, yo, I got hit by a bull. | ||
| Like, whatever. | ||
| It would be badass. | ||
| Either way, you slice it. | ||
| Do you ever see that one video of the bull just throwing the dude around like a rag doll on a cobblestone street over and over? | ||
| The guy's head's just flying up and bunking down while he's unconscious, knocking down the stones. | ||
| Joe Rogan has a fear of animals. | ||
| It's irrational. | ||
| It's irrational. | ||
| A friend of mine from Colorado, our friend Ash, Casey Atchison, just sent us a picture of a mountain lion that jacked a deer near his house. | ||
| I know, but that happens all the time. | ||
| 150 pound cat and a dead thing that runs way faster than you or I. Watch his face, Ryan. | ||
| He's so into it when he's talking about it. | ||
| Like he gets so, he like views, he can see the claws coming at him. | ||
| I can tell that. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| I've eaten a pot and gone to the zoo a bunch of times. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| It gives you a different perspective. | ||
| When you're actually there with the animal, there's one thing like watching DVDs when you're baked, that's important, you know, it's huge. | ||
| But watching real animals, like a real animal in person when you're high, you get a completely different insight. | ||
| When you actually see a tiger, it's right there, and you're looking at it, and you're looking at its paws, and you're looking at its body, and you're thinking of an American house cat. | ||
| And how fucking badass those little things are. | ||
| I mean, if a 25-pound house cat wanted to kill you, you'd be terrified. | ||
| You'd be fucking running like crazy. | ||
| But a fucking 500-pound tiger, man. | ||
| And when you get really baked and you're right next to that animal, it's almost as close to that animal attacking you as you can get. | ||
| What's standing on the other side of the glass? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bullshit. | |
| It's as close as you can get without dying or getting attacked. | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| People do that on Wild Kingdom all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I'm saying, bro! | ||
| I'm saying, bro! | ||
| What was the last time Wild Kingdom was on the air? | ||
| I know, that's what I said. | ||
| Museum of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Who's that dude? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I remember the reruns on Saturday morning and shit. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| No, but I just feel like... | ||
| Those animals are from a different planet. | ||
| I don't have that fear like, oh my god, this thing can kill me. | ||
| I just think, man, look at this thing. | ||
| I know that I'm far enough away from all that stuff. | ||
| So I totally take away and go, man, this looks like it's from a different planet or a different time. | ||
| Like a giraffe, when you look close at it, you're like, that thing is alien. | ||
| Because it has weird spots. | ||
| On TV, you just don't think about it. | ||
| But when you see it up close, you realize that this thing is from a completely different planet. | ||
| I don't get it from giraffes. | ||
| I get it from crocodiles. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Well, they're from a different time. | ||
| When we were in Sydney, we went to that little zoo thing that was right across. | ||
| Taronga Zoo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We went to see that giant crocodile there. | ||
| You saw that crocodile, didn't you? | ||
| We went to one on the Gold Coast. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that thing was fucking terrifying. | ||
| The one they had was only like 18 feet or something like that. | ||
| Now that's a big ass lizard. | ||
| They get to be like 30 feet, 28 feet. | ||
| Those things are giant, man. | ||
| When I lived in North Queensland, there was a crocodile in the wildlife park there. | ||
| He had lost all of his teeth due to fighting. | ||
| Because their brains are so small, they sit on their backs and they tickle them because they're real predictable. | ||
| So the guy takes a wooden stick and he hits the concrete. | ||
| Then he whacks the crocodile over the nose with it and the sound was identical. | ||
| So one time his daughter went in there, and this was a huge, no way you could wrap your arms around him. | ||
| She slipped and fell. | ||
| Came across, bit her across her leg, all of her adductor muscles, her legs shattered, adductor muscles just spring up, they're gone. | ||
| She turns, it bites her then across the pelvis. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| She had 23 surgeries or something. | ||
| Her dad jumped over the fence, started beating the crocodile, which is the only way that she got out of there. | ||
| That's with the crocodile with no teeth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He turned her leg to Jell-O. That's weird. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| I knew. | ||
| Why do you have to tell Joe Rogan the story? | ||
| Now look at him. | ||
| He's even more scared than animals now. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| I'm not going to Florida. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| UFC Florida, no. | ||
| There's alligators around there. | ||
| No, we're not doing the UFC in Florida, Dana. | ||
| No Dana alligators. | ||
| I lived in Florida, man. | ||
| I used to feed them. | ||
| I lived in Gainesville. | ||
| We used to go to the... | ||
| There's a little pond there, and we would feed them. | ||
| I think it was called Lake Alice. | ||
| And we would go there, and we would feed these fucking alligators. | ||
| They were everywhere. | ||
| They ate a lady's dog while I was there once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Did you see that? | ||
| No, I didn't see it. | ||
| I got there right when people were yelling and screaming, though. | ||
| Alligator came up and jacked this lady's dog. | ||
| Apparently it probably happened like an hour before I got there. | ||
| You know what's crazy about alligators is that they're such a good form of life that that same basic pattern of evolution has been there forever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Here's an animal like this that will live in these areas that is just made of armor and just has one thing, a bite. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Well, they're efficient, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| What they do, they're super efficient. | ||
| And what they do, I don't understand exactly how reptiles work. | ||
| I'll just tell the truth. | ||
| Well, here's the big thing with crocodiles. | ||
| They don't have to eat for a year. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| They just sit there and get money. | ||
| Get money? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get money? | |
| They're sitting there getting money from the sun? | ||
| Getting paid from water buffalo bitches up in the water hole. | ||
| What's that sound? | ||
| Snap, it's my teeth. | ||
| You on the ground. | ||
| Oh, the crocodile rap, bro. | ||
| MC Crock. | ||
| Yo, yo. | ||
| That's my new crocodile LP about to drop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Biting bitches by the waterhole. | |
| Biting bitches by the waterhole. | ||
| That's how we do. | ||
| Biting bitches by the waterhole. | ||
| I'm coming for you. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| There's a fucking awesome video of a giant crocodile jacking a wildebeest from a waterhole. | ||
| This fucking wildebeest has to be, I don't know, 500, 600 pounds. | ||
| You talking about the baby one? | ||
| The baby one? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| It was a regular full-size one. | ||
| It's a slow crocodile. | ||
| Slow motion comes out. | ||
| It's enormous. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking mouth is so big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wraps a hole in that wildebeest and just... | |
| Whack! | ||
| Just ragdolls that bitch into the water and pulls it under and it's like, God damn! | ||
| Watch any alien movie. | ||
| Watch any monster movie. | ||
| That's way scarier than any shit I ever saw Predator do. | ||
| Just grabs this wildebeest, snaps a hold of it, and whips it into the water. | ||
| That is like something from fucking Star Wars. | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| Predator kept your head, bro. | ||
| And your spine. | ||
| And they did have lasers. | ||
| Yeah, lasers, yeah. | ||
| Crocodile is scarier. | ||
| They can hold their breath underwater for over an hour. | ||
| Predator can go invisible, dude. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Oh, shit, man. | ||
| Dude, I miss old movies. | ||
| Why can't they be cool like that anymore? | ||
| It's tough to get a good movie these days. | ||
| I feel like if they did it all YouTube footage of, like, fucking the Predator being, like, on YouTube, maybe that would help. | ||
| You know what I think it's eventually going to come down to? | ||
| Technology is going to get to a point where an individual person can make their own movie. | ||
| Like, you're going to be able to make your own movie with your computer. | ||
| You could probably come pretty close. | ||
| They could do it now. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| But I'm saying with special effects and cameras will be so cheap, film will be so cheap, hard drives will be so cheap, computers will be so cheap, and the programs that are publicly available to regular amateurs for making movies and putting in special effects are going to eventually get to this incredibly heightened state where you're going to be able to make a fucking Avatar movie on your own. | ||
| If you're smart, yeah. | ||
| If you're smart, fuck yeah. | ||
| But when that happens, then you're going to see the most amazing movies ever. | ||
| Because there won't be so many fucking roadblocks to making an awesome movie. | ||
| It'll just be your brain pops right onto a DVD. I don't know. | ||
| You still need a team of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right. | |
| You do need a team. | ||
| But what you don't need is a bunch of people with money telling you what to do in your movie. | ||
| And that's what happens. | ||
| I've seen it over and over again. | ||
| It's a weird thing, man, when a bunch of people who are not creative at all influence the creative process. | ||
| And that's what fucks movies up. | ||
| That's what fucks TV shows up. | ||
| That's what fucks stand-up comedians up. | ||
| Well, but couldn't you say that also that that relationship between people who are cockblock, the creativity, and that... | ||
| Don't you think that that has developed this? | ||
| Do you think if everyone was a creative dude and not a dork doing the crunch of the numbers? | ||
| Oh, I... You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If everybody was a creative dude, this would be a fucking lazy ass town. | ||
| You're so right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You need a dorky dude to go, okay, this, this, and this, and that. | ||
| So you need that. | ||
| We need a dorky dude to sell it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You don't need a dorky dude to create it. | ||
| No, I know, but if they don't cock-block you at some time, they feel like they're worthless. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not your fault. | ||
| That's why shows that work, the best shows, are the shows where they can't say shit. | ||
| Like South Park. | ||
| South Park is so good. | ||
| Oh, they still say shit. | ||
| Comedy Central, every now and then they say they can't make a cartoon where they draw Muhammad. | ||
| They'll say shit like that because they don't want to get firebombed. | ||
| That's like the worst thing they've ever done. | ||
| I mean, I don't think they have any influence in the creative process. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| No, I mean, from what I see, they don't. | ||
| Brian, you know those guys, right? | ||
| Do you think that Comedy Central has anything? | ||
| No, they pretty much do whatever they want. | ||
| Yeah, because they've been so successful for so long. | ||
| That show is so buck wild. | ||
| I love that show. | ||
| That's like the best show. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That show is the best ever on social commentary right now because they do it six days out. | ||
| most amazing dudes in show business in my opinion yeah i agree plus they just won nine ten uh uh tony awards and the only reason i know what a tony award is because of these guys is a broadway musical award yeah and they won nine of those i'm like man those guys are geniuses they're brilliant they're brilliant and i and i it's crazy because they they've been like a little team for so long yeah you know since like since college days so those guys have just been linked into each other's brain for so long and they got just such a good partnership that they you know they don't fuck each other over on anything it's It's crazy, man. | ||
| It's great to see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It works. | |
| Neither one of them lost their head, and that's rare when you get a couple of dudes together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, right? | |
| Yeah, there had to be some fuckers. | ||
| Is it two guys? | ||
| Yeah, two guys. | ||
| Those are the two guys. | ||
| Those are the geniuses behind South Park. | ||
| They probably hate people saying that. | ||
| I think they're like, whatever. | ||
| You know the South Park guys to the normal person. | ||
| It means, oh, South Park. | ||
| Yeah, I know that show. | ||
| And people who really know the South Park guys are awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, man. | |
| Team America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That was genius. | ||
| I never laughed harder. | ||
| That was like a stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| You know when a stand-up comic is killing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know that feeling? | ||
| That was how hard I was laughing at that movie. | ||
| I was like, this is the best movie of all time. | ||
| Yeah, I'm really interested though with South Park to see what they're gonna do this season because the last one of the last season was like Like almost it felt like the last episode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Oh, yeah Well, thing what was it? | ||
| No, there was a divorce. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Stan's dad got a divorce. | ||
| They were divorcing one car Stan was moving out of South Park and they just made the whole episode seem like it was over really yeah Maybe they're getting bored. | ||
| They want to do something new. | ||
| Whatever the fuck they do, I don't care. | ||
| I'll watch it. | ||
| What if they start and they're all 21 years old? | ||
| They're all grown up. | ||
| Wouldn't that be fucking weird? | ||
| I'd love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It would open up a whole new set of jokes about being teenagers and stuff. | |
| I would open up a whole new set. | ||
| Dude, whatever. | ||
| Wait, are you guys leaking inside info right now? | ||
| No, I'm just saying it. | ||
| It seemed like such a good idea that I hope that that's not what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe they're listening right now. | |
| My friend, you're all fired. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Imagine if you got in trouble. | ||
| You just took a wild guess. | ||
| The fuck you told him? | ||
| He didn't guess that. | ||
| Nobody guesses that. | ||
| Who the fuck would do that? | ||
| Those guys can do whatever they want. | ||
| They have such a loyal group of fans and followers. | ||
| I'll watch anything they do. | ||
| There's nothing those guys put out there. | ||
| There's some things that I'll ignore. | ||
| There's certain movies I need to go see. | ||
| I haven't seen the Pineapple Express yet. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go see that, man. | |
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| No, it's awesome. | ||
| I've got it on DVD. Everybody says it's awesome. | ||
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| But if a South Park movie comes out, I'm seeing that shit. | ||
| I'm seeing that shit opening weekend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| Wait, they have one coming out? | ||
| No, but if there was... | ||
| Now you've got to be all hot and bothered for a South Park movie. | ||
| I saw Drive last night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Man, I was going to go see it. | ||
| Now you're going to ruin it for me. | ||
| No, I don't want to ruin it. | ||
| No spoilers. | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| It's a real interesting movie, man. | ||
| I don't know how to describe it without giving a lot of the plot away, but it's a weird movie, man. | ||
| The guy plays this really detached sort of stunt car driver who gets hired to do bank robberies and shit. | ||
| He gets hired to be the getaway driver. | ||
| I'm liking it. | ||
| It's a good script. | ||
| It's a good movie. | ||
| There's a lot of good shit in it. | ||
| There's a few what-the-fuck scenes, but that's how you have to wrap it up. | ||
| What the fuck are they doing? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| When someone's been cautious the whole film, and there's more inconvenience seeing where the guy gets to get him because he's turned his back to him like a noob. | ||
| I hate unrealistic. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| I know that you're just trying to wrap up a movie right quick. | ||
| Like, ah, why are you packing it up, man? | ||
| I still got 90 minutes. | ||
| 90 minutes in here when people's asses start getting sore. | ||
| Let's wrap this fucker up. | ||
| There's a lot of movies like that where you're halfway in the movie and you're like, wait, wait, what? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| The fuck are you ending this? | ||
| Like that movie, the Bradley Cooper movie, Limitless. | ||
| Oh, I like that movie, bro. | ||
| I like that movie, too. | ||
| I liked it up until the end where all of a sudden he's like, well, I engineered the effects out. | ||
| Now I'm fucking awesome. | ||
| I know, yeah. | ||
| I was like, oh, I wanted to see him drugged out and shit. | ||
| Like, ah! | ||
| I can't get off this shit. | ||
| It was a cheap way to end it. | ||
| It was like, oh, I fixed it. | ||
| I fixed it, and now it's awesome forever. | ||
| But what could be the alternative, really, though? | ||
| Come on, there's a billion alternatives in an infinite number of different bizarre directions. | ||
| If something goes shitty at the end of that awesome movie, it didn't have to be shitty, man. | ||
| But you wouldn't come away, like, I came away like, man, that movie was great, and tell people it was great. | ||
| I had a good feeling about it. | ||
| I think what could have been real interesting is towards the end, he could have started having psychotic episodes where he woke up at different stages of his life, at We're good to go. | ||
| And then it goes to black. | ||
| And then you go, that guy just fried his fucking noggin. | ||
| Joe Rogan presents Limited. | ||
| He OG'd on limitless pills and woke up in between worlds. | ||
| I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| That's how I would end it. | ||
| But I smoke weed, bitch! | ||
| Do you say you watch Breaking Bad? | ||
| Yeah, I love that show. | ||
| I just started it. | ||
| Everybody's mad at me because I was quoting something about how much I liked an episode. | ||
| It was the first season. | ||
| That's what I watched. | ||
| I watched it on the DVD. I didn't watch it live. | ||
| So I'm still... | ||
| I'm way behind. | ||
| I watch it when I get tattooed, and I haven't been tattooed in a few months. | ||
| I just saw the first episode. | ||
| The first episode starts you off quick. | ||
| My Miyamoto Musashi sleeve. | ||
| Is that your name? | ||
| Yeah, this one's like two years old. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I always... | |
| I'm like, man, Joe Hogan got some cool tattoos. | ||
| I always look back, and I'm always like, man, I'm... | ||
| Sorry, I didn't get any tattoos. | ||
| You can still get them. | ||
| Some people like them, some people don't. | ||
| The way I look at it is, skin looks cool, but I like art better. | ||
| I like art on my skin. | ||
| As long as you trust the artist and you have an idea, it's really good. | ||
| The guy that I go to, Aaron Della Vadova, is fucking awesome, man. | ||
| He specializes in really big, beautiful pieces. | ||
| I'm a fan of his artwork. | ||
| If you go to his studio where he tattoos, he's got all these paintings and shit around. | ||
| How cool is that guy? | ||
| Yeah, dude, he's awesome. | ||
| He's going to do the podcast, too. | ||
| Have you ever thought, like, when you're 80 years old, though, and if you don't get it touched up, you're just going to have rainbow arms? | ||
| When you're 80 years old, you look like shit no matter what, dude. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| I'm going to look like an 80-year-old dude who did some crazy shit. | ||
| That's all right. | ||
| You'll be in bed by 6.30 anyways. | ||
| Yeah, I'll be in bed by 6.30. | ||
| Yeah, he's not hanging out on the corner. | ||
| They're going to call you Rainbow Brick. | ||
| I'm going to be like Joey Diaz when I'm 80. Just fucking, just going balls out till the fucking wheels fall off. | ||
| But yeah, I gotta get him to finish this thing. | ||
| Man, I met somebody like Uncle Louie or something or Uncle George. | ||
| Wait, Uncle Benny? | ||
| Uncle Benny? | ||
| Uncle Benny? | ||
| Man, he had like old school tattoos from like the sailor days. | ||
| Like Ed Hardy before that shit was Ed Hardy. | ||
| Like the real old tattoo. | ||
| And man, then he stole the knife at Thanksgiving. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| He just got like... | ||
| He stole a knife? | ||
| Yeah, he was like, where's the knife? | ||
| And then he was walking around the house with the knife in his hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, man, somebody get Uncle Benny. | |
| Eek. | ||
| There's nothing creepier than a drunk person with a knife. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but he wasn't even... | |
| He was like 90. He was just senile. | ||
| He wasn't even drunk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The only thing creepier is if it's Mayhem's uncle. | |
| I was with Chris McGuire once. | ||
| Me and Chris McGuire, we were hanging out with this dude. | ||
| There's a dude that used to own the comedy improv in Tempe. | ||
| And there was a dude who was friends with the owner. | ||
| Took us to his bar. | ||
| We're all hanging out at his bar. | ||
| We're going to go back to his house. | ||
| And he said, by the golf course, beautiful. | ||
| We're going to just have a party at this guy's place. | ||
| Seems like a cool guy. | ||
| We all go back. | ||
| Go back with a bunch of his friends and all these different people. | ||
| Well, it turns out to be like 1 o'clock in the morning and the guy is shh. | ||
| Shit-faced. | ||
| Beyond. | ||
| Like, you can't even make eye contact with Homeboy. | ||
| And he's walking around with a pair of scissors. | ||
| Because he wants everybody to leave his house except this one girl. | ||
| And the girl was like 19 years old. | ||
| And she was like, please don't leave me here. | ||
| Please don't leave me here. | ||
| Like, this guy was running around his house kicking these people out that he just invited in with a pair of scissors. | ||
| It was one of those moments. | ||
| It was me and Chris McGuire. | ||
| Is he on your Facebook? | ||
| That guy? | ||
| Yeah, we're besties now. | ||
| I mean, we got through this little dark moment with him trying to stab people for a 19-year-old rape pussy. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| He's going to rape this girl. | ||
| And the girl looked at us and she goes, please don't leave me here with him. | ||
| We're like, we're not going to leave you here. | ||
| You're coming with us. | ||
| And we had to, like, argue with the guy. | ||
| We got to just go, look, dude, she wants to leave with everybody else. | ||
| We got to let her go. | ||
| Is it before you left? | ||
| Before you left? | ||
| No, there's one other couple that was watching this from the living room. | ||
| We were close enough to get stabbed. | ||
| No, I'm saying, but what's the deal? | ||
| How did that work out? | ||
| I think some people, I've seen it happen more than once. | ||
| Some people, whatever it is, whether it's alcohol or drugs, there's some things that they take that make them snap over and they're Gonsville. | ||
| You see that glassy-eyed look in their eyes? | ||
| They're not really there. | ||
| Their rational, conscious mind has completely shut off. | ||
| I've seen it with alcohol. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yes, alcoholics. | ||
| I have a friend who's an alcoholic, and every time he gets drunk, you're very likely to see a different version of him. | ||
| And it's very likely to be someone who you can't even recognize. | ||
| You barely know what to expect from them. | ||
| They're going to say crazy shit to people. | ||
| They're going to get in trouble. | ||
| They're going to start fights. | ||
| They don't even know who I don't get that because I don't get that drunk. | ||
| I get drunk, but I'm me drunk. | ||
| I don't snap over. | ||
| Some people do, though. | ||
| They fucking for sure do, man. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| And I know you've probably seen it, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They dance with the devil, and all of a sudden they have the devil. | |
| There's some people, there's a different, you know, like some people say, man, I can't smoke pot. | ||
| Okay, I understand. | ||
| There's people that can't drink. | ||
| They fucking can't. | ||
| They just can't. | ||
| Everybody has their own biological thing. | ||
| There's a reason why some people are allergic to peanuts. | ||
| Some people, it's fucking tuna fish. | ||
| There's weird things that make people's bodies react. | ||
| I can get it, man. | ||
| I can get it. | ||
| Man, he's hammered on tuna fish. | ||
| That guy is such a dick. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, fucking, every time he drinks the juice out the can, like, pushes it in there, sprays it in there. | ||
| I don't think if you were allergic, it would make you hammered. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how you made that, but... | ||
| Have you ever seen a... | ||
| God bless you and your connections. | ||
| Have you ever seen a list of, like, things that you're not supposed to give dogs, like, that are completely poisonous to dogs? | ||
| Oh, but there's things on there, like grapes, yeah. | ||
| No, I'm calling bullshit on grapes, bro. | ||
| I think I gave my dog a grape. | ||
| Yeah, my pit bull used to eat grapes like crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they were like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think someone started that internet fucking rumor for no reason. | ||
| I love those grapes. | ||
| I went through a dog poisoning recently, so I was given a list of things not to give your dog. | ||
| And there were some things on there that I just would never have thought of. | ||
| Things like... | ||
| I can't even remember. | ||
| But it was something weird like that. | ||
| Grapes or nuts. | ||
| There's some... | ||
| If you give certain kinds of nuts that are... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait, wait. | |
| I think that's why chocolates... | ||
| They're allergic to chocolate. | ||
| It's to the cocoa. | ||
| Oh, and here's another thing. | ||
| Did you know plums or anything that has a core in the middle of it is really, really poison. | ||
| So if you have trash and the dog's going through the trash, a lot of times they like to chew on the core of a plum or a peach. | ||
| Are you trying to say... | ||
| Yeah, it's got a chemical in it that's completely... | ||
| Those are only bitch dogs. | ||
| Are you trying to say that you killed your ex-girlfriend's dog? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm not saying that happened at all. | ||
| Well, hey, but I gave my dog some plum. | ||
| It didn't matter. | ||
| Plums aren't killing dogs, too. | ||
| Yeah, it has like a thing in the middle of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dogs eat their own shit. | |
| I think we would have heard of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Everybody would know by now. | ||
| Dogs eat their own shit and then run the quarter mile way faster than you could ever dream of. | ||
| Well, usually if they get sick or eat something, they usually throw it up, but they'll still act sick. | ||
| Think about how quick a dog can run the quarter mile after eating three or four large mouthfuls of shit. | ||
| A dog can fucking... | ||
| Fly, man. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Fly! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You couldn't even fucking hope to keep up with that shit-eating dog. | |
| A mouth full of fucking shit. | ||
| Shit breath and shit smeared over his shitty gums. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Shit on his lips and he's running like a bully. | ||
| With no problems. | ||
| Not even a little indigestion. | ||
| Your pantomime is on point, dude. | ||
| That's exactly how it would be pumping right there. | ||
| You can't pump with that. | ||
| You can't fuck with four legs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four legs of fury and fecal matter in his face. | |
| Yeah, because it's an exponentially faster animal. | ||
| Four legs. | ||
| There's a whole body whip effect. | ||
| They get a lot going on that we don't have. | ||
| My hot dog dog can jump. | ||
| I bet. | ||
| His whole body springs up. | ||
| You told me the story of you got in a physical fight with your Mastiff once. | ||
| Your Mastiff attacked you. | ||
| We fought for 30 seconds. | ||
| 30 seconds? | ||
| How big was it? | ||
| 150 pounds. | ||
| A Neo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus! | |
| That's a big guy. | ||
| That's like a little bigger than my dog, man. | ||
| How did this shit unfold? | ||
| Was it playing? | ||
| No, you know what it was? | ||
| We were young. | ||
| It was 23, 24 years old. | ||
| We had joy. | ||
| I was like, wait, you and the Mastiff were young? | ||
| I was like, wait. | ||
| I've made mistakes in the past. | ||
| I know, I was like, well, you got a bad time that day. | ||
| Frolicking in the park one day? | ||
| We had joy. | ||
| Seasons in the sun. | ||
| One day I just gave him his food and I contacted him. | ||
| And it was on. | ||
| You know, I should have known, man. | ||
| He's a dog. | ||
| You can't eye contact him and challenge his space while you're giving him food. | ||
| Don't look at him. | ||
| He's your food, bitch. | ||
| You don't do that. | ||
| You give the dog, you pat him on the back, and you walk away. | ||
| Always make contact with the dog while he's eating his food so he's comfortable with that. | ||
| He doesn't think you're going to steal food from when you touch him. | ||
| That's what keeps it. | ||
| When some dogs, you touch them when they're eating and they turn on you. | ||
| So what was the catalyst? | ||
| Yeah, what started off the brawl? | ||
| Dan Henderson had an intact pit bull who lived with us. | ||
| And they fought probably 20 times. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
At one point, how many matches have to go off? | |
| We've got to get rid of the dog. | ||
| One dog's got to go. | ||
| I love pit bulls, but I laugh my ass off when people tell me they're not dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, they're built and killed. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I love them. | ||
| They're my favorite dogs of all time. | ||
| But if you've had pit bulls, you know they're dangerous as fuck. | ||
| It doesn't matter how much you train them. | ||
| Yeah, either they're just lying to themselves or trying to lie to you to make them feel better about it. | ||
| I have yet to see a pit bull that I trust. | ||
| I don't care how much you trained it. | ||
| If it has its balls and it's a male, I trust it around another dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I just don't. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| Especially if the other dog has its balls. | ||
| Especially if the other dog's a male and it gets even a little frisky. | ||
| Especially if it's a Neo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're a fighting breed dog. | ||
| Some big, crazy-ass dog. | ||
| So they both had balls? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| These are dangerous. | ||
| That's two wild monsters. | ||
| We had two wild animals. | ||
| I got so good at stopping the dog fight... | ||
| That I could actually pin both of them down. | ||
| I bet your wrestling really came into play. | ||
| Think about it if you were a guy who didn't know how to use your body weight and pin things down. | ||
| Did you get underhooks on your dog? | ||
| I had a whole technique. | ||
| I had a knee on belly on one, or better knee on throat. | ||
| I'd pin the other one down. | ||
| Most of the time I needed help. | ||
| So I would just start calling for whoever was there. | ||
| Then you had to go reach in each dog's mouth and open them, which isn't that hard to do actually. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| That's why I'm not at all afraid of dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, that's so scary. | |
| No, it's really not. | ||
| The clamp down, though. | ||
| Once you open, if they shut down on your fingers, god damn, son. | ||
| But even that, they only have one weapon. | ||
| You know it's coming. | ||
| Yes, but still, it can get you. | ||
| That's like the Dan Henderson right hand. | ||
| I'm with Brian on this one. | ||
| Even if they get you, you have to shove it into their mouth. | ||
| Yes, you do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And then if it got really bad, I'd just start poking eyes. | ||
| Hopefully they have a collar. | ||
| I choked my dog out when I was trying to kill my cat once with his collar. | ||
| I got knee on belly and I choked him out. | ||
| I put him out of sleep. | ||
| Wait, with his collar? | ||
| Yeah, with his collar. | ||
| Did you cross your hands? | ||
| I did. | ||
| Ezekiel choked my friend. | ||
| I got inside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I put him in one hand like this. | |
| He clocked him. | ||
| My position. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| Make close. | ||
| Make note here. | ||
| I put my finito belly. | ||
| And I turn. | ||
| I turn. | ||
| Oh, he go out. | ||
| The dog is sleeping good now. | ||
| Plum pits have cyanide in them, and grapes cause kidney failure in dogs. | ||
| Wait, so you're telling me if I ate plums in the middle of it? | ||
| Listen to this, man. | ||
| I would die? | ||
| It depends on how much you eat. | ||
| A dude that I work with, I'm sorry, a dude that I work with, this is gonna, I gotta, before I forget, this guy, his mom died from fucking Tylenol. | ||
| This mom got liver poisoning. | ||
| She died because she was taking Tylenol, which has like whatever the fuck the chemical it has, and it also exists in some other cold medication that she was taking. | ||
| She was taking the two of them at the same time, and she had fucking liver failure. | ||
| Oh, is that strong? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
| Did you know that that was even possible? | ||
| Every drug you can die from. | ||
| But Tylenol, have you ever heard? | ||
| It's mixing certain things. | ||
| A lot of times if you look on something and say, don't take whatever that chemical is in Tylenol with it, I think it's like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm glad we have your input. | |
| 100,000 people a year die from appropriately prescribed medication. | ||
| We know it just surpassed car accidents. | ||
| Did it? | ||
| Yeah, most recently prescription drugs have surpassed car accidents for accidental deaths for the first time ever. | ||
| Because they don't do, especially when people take, you take five drugs, you have about a 100% chance of having an adverse reaction to it. | ||
| So no one did peer-reviewed study, good double-blind controlled studies on those four or five drugs together? | ||
| That's why I only take AlphaBrain and nothing else. | ||
| Yeah, onnit.com. | ||
| Oh, and I, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I got to plug your shit, too. | ||
| Yeah, seriously, Joe. | ||
| I got to plug your way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It works, right? | |
| Let me plug it properly because this thing... | ||
| Okay, I really wanted to hate on you. | ||
| I'm just going to tell the truth. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because I did the cool guy shit and I went online and I bought all my, you know, kind of what you got in there separately. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, this is a good mix for me. | ||
| But I don't know, dude. | ||
| I took that stuff and, man, I smashed people at video games yesterday. | ||
| I mean, that's my gold standard. | ||
| My brain was focused. | ||
| I was watching the video games close. | ||
| I was like a robot. | ||
| Do you feel it's like Adderall? | ||
| I feel like it's like a mild Adderall. | ||
| Like, I don't feel like I'm on anything, but I feel so focused and... | ||
| I have to reveal, though, that there's been a few people, a very small number, most people, like the vast majority, over 90% of all the tweets and emails I get are positive. | ||
| More than 90%. | ||
| It's like 99. I would say it's like one out of 100. I think people want to hate on you, though. | ||
| Yeah, maybe, but one out of 100, they don't seem like they're hating. | ||
| They just say, dude, it did nothing for me whatsoever. | ||
| And I believe them, man. | ||
| Everybody's got their own. | ||
| Some people, first of all, I've got to know where you're at. | ||
| I've got to know, are you smoking cigarettes? | ||
| Are you out of shape? | ||
| Are you ill? | ||
| Is $29 half your paycheck? | ||
| Yeah, that could be it, too. | ||
| A lot of people are upset at the price. | ||
| This is what I said. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I said, listen, this is the highest quality shit, and we get it from the best manufacturers, we put it in a really well-calculated form, but steal it. | ||
| Steal it. | ||
| Go online. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's shocking. | |
| You can see all the ingredients. | ||
| Go get your own ingredients. | ||
| I have no problem with that. | ||
| I thought you just meant to go and scoop it off the shelf. | ||
| I thought that was what I was thinking. | ||
| Well, do that if you can. | ||
| No, don't do that because somebody had to buy it, man. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'm saying steal the formula. | |
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think, okay, if... | ||
| $29 is not that expensive for that kind of thing. | ||
| All the other stuff, buying that stuff separately costs a lot of money. | ||
| And it's the quality of all those chemicals too. | ||
| If that mix doesn't work for you, you lost $29. | ||
| So what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The benefit for me, man, I'm stoked, man. | ||
| I'm stoked about it. | ||
| It makes me feel super clear. | ||
| I did an interview today. | ||
| I was like, okay, my brain works. | ||
| And that was after training for two hours. | ||
| People don't want to believe in it, and that's fine. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that say there's no science behind it. | ||
| But there's a science paper on the site that shows, with references, it's a medical editorial written on the efficacy of this alpha brain stuff. | ||
| And it's based on reactions. | ||
| It's based on things that people have noticed. | ||
| Hey, if you take this, this happens, and put it all together. | ||
| People are getting annoyed because we talk about it all the time, but I wanted to give you some. | ||
| I didn't even know you guys talked about it all the time. | ||
| I talk about also people being annoyed. | ||
| What is that noise? | ||
| Is that your phone? | ||
| That sounds pretty awesome. | ||
| Someone's phone. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| Oh, it's your phone. | ||
| People being annoyed that we talk about it, but I wanted to get your take on it, which is why I had them sent to you. | ||
| Are they going to sell them in bulk, like huge containers? | ||
| Yeah, we will eventually. | ||
| I think that's the way to go. | ||
| You can get 10% off if you go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| There's a link. | ||
| Click on it and enter in the code name Rogan and you get 10% off of it. | ||
| Big. | ||
| No, let me touch your beard, bro. | ||
| Oh, I just cut it all off. | ||
| So when you took it, how many days a week did you take that shit? | ||
| I've taken it for four days in a row. | ||
| Did you notice it right away? | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| I'm excited because I've only been on for four days. | ||
| I want to see what happens later. | ||
| Because I'm feeling very like, I don't know man, whatever. | ||
| I say that stuff's awesome. | ||
| I don't know how the hell you figured that out. | ||
| It's not me, it's Aubrey, our buddy. | ||
| He's the smart one. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Because I'm like, oh, this is sweet. | ||
| I feel like, man, pretty focused. | ||
| It's pretty awesome. | ||
| I feel good that my friend made up something that is good. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| That movie Warrior was good. | ||
| I'm friends with one of the guys who wrote on the thing. | ||
| I was like, oh. | ||
| I hope this is good. | ||
| And I saw it and I was like, man, this is really good. | ||
| So I was like, I feel good with my friends, dude. | ||
| And now you give me these freaking pills and I'm like, man. | ||
| Are you sure that's not a placebo effect? | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| That's what I'm worried. | ||
| That's what I'm thinking. | ||
| I'm really trying to, in my head, go, okay. | ||
| No, he goes the other way every time. | ||
| I go all the way, yeah. | ||
| I go, nah, that's bullshit. | ||
| I always say bullshit. | ||
| I don't think it is. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I think recently, because you gave me that new bottle, because I was out for like two weeks, and for those two weeks, I was starting to feel icky again, and then I've been taking it nonstop. | ||
| I just hope it doesn't get put on a PEDs list. | ||
| I don't think it will be. | ||
| It's all vitamins. | ||
| I know, but what I'm saying is, you know, if I have a brain advantage... | ||
| That's illegal too, right? | ||
| Vitamin B. There's some other shit that we're selling now that's based on a cordyceps mushroom. | ||
| Do you know anything about that shit, Ryan? | ||
| I do already. | ||
| I didn't know that that's what it was when you said it. | ||
| I didn't realize cordyceps was... | ||
| I had a lot of success with cordyceps earlier in my career. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah, I use it. | ||
| It helped my weight and my cardio. | ||
| So I remember I was doing judo tournaments and doing jiu-jitsu tournaments when I was young. | ||
| I would take that stuff and it made me feel real good. | ||
| That's crazy though that... | ||
| I didn't even know that cordyceps is mushroom. | ||
| Someone said, you've got to take cordyceps. | ||
| One of the trainers there, and I was like, alright, I'll take it. | ||
| And then I didn't... | ||
| What the hell is a cordyceps? | ||
| What does it look like? | ||
| Is it like a little blue mushroom? | ||
| What's a cordyceps? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Google that! | ||
| Come on, Red Band! | ||
| Mushrooms are so fucking good for you. | ||
| There's so many mushrooms. | ||
| I take chaga mushrooms. | ||
| It's supposed to be really good for your immunity. | ||
| I take a bunch of different things just knowing that I'm going to go on the road a lot. | ||
| I'm going to be around a lot of icky things. | ||
| So I take a lot of probiotics, but I also started taking these chaga mushrooms because I read up on them, like how good they are, how many health benefits of mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| What does it do for you? | ||
| Oh, there's so many different things. | ||
| It's good for your immune system. | ||
| It's like an antioxidant. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| The best thing about probiotics, anything you're taking a mushroom in. | ||
| Yeah, I always drink those or the little... | ||
| You ever drink the little... | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Activa things? | ||
| No, no, it's a small one. | ||
| No, no, the Bio-K. Yeah, Bio-K. Oh, yeah. | ||
| Man, it tastes good. | ||
| You can tell, man. | ||
| You feel digestive. | ||
| You feel like it pushes your body. | ||
| Those are by far the best ones. | ||
| Is it by far? | ||
| What's it called again? | ||
| They're in the refrigerator. | ||
| They look like little yogurt things. | ||
| Bio-K. It's like a little tiny canister. | ||
| I love the idea of taking all this live shit into your body. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| That's weird, right? | ||
| There's kombucha drinks. | ||
| We're all over there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, exactly. | |
| I love those things. | ||
| I drink that shit every day. | ||
| Yeah, and it's really done. | ||
| And I also bought some fucking ridiculously expensive acidophilus. | ||
| I was like, why is this shit $100? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| You know, because it's in the refrigerator, it's supposed to be like the highest count, blah, blah, blah, whatever, you know, different types. | ||
| I'm like, alright, you know, I'm not even going to do any research. | ||
| I'm just going to pop one, pop one a day and see what the fuck is up for a hundred bucks. | ||
| But like a hundred bucks for a bottle of, like, not even a big bottle. | ||
| Wait, how many times was, oh, how many bottles? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It wasn't that big, man, you know? | ||
| Have you seen the documentary, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dying? | ||
| That's exactly what I was going to say. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Because it's all about how we don't eat anything live, really. | ||
| We're getting all our nutrients from dead stuff, like breads and whatnot. | ||
| All of America, pretty much. | ||
| It's an easy, accessible thing. | ||
| And to just juice all your food, everything's real-life vegetables. | ||
| And people have done juice fasts and stopping on... | ||
| This guy did it in the movie, 60 days with only, like, he had a portable, like, juicer and stuff, and then he met people on the way, and then he met this trucker that was, like, bigger than Joey Diaz, like 400, and he started doing, he's like, look, just do this for 10 days, and next thing you know, it was just, like, people were dropping weight. | ||
| He immediately looked healthier, too. | ||
| He looked healthier, yeah. | ||
| You know, I can feel a lot of, I mean, I tell anybody, if you can do that, you know, it takes a lot of time and a lot of devotion to, like, grind up all your food into juice, you know, and it helps if you've got a girlfriend. | ||
| Do you think that you should juice it or do you think you should use that Vitamix thing? | ||
| Yeah, the Vitamix blender, it's basically like juicing it, but you're also maintaining all the stuff from the back. | ||
| You have a lot of fiber. | ||
| We do both. | ||
| Trust me, dude. | ||
| That fiber drink, that's like your real drink. | ||
| When you grind everything up with a Vitamix blender, that's like, okay, I'm drinking this. | ||
| And for me, I really like it now because I know the health benefits and it makes me feel good when I drink it. | ||
| But when you drink it first, you're like, man, that's like lawn mower juice right there. | ||
| Like, it just came out of the juice, like, out of the bag. | ||
| Fresh out of the bag, and they blend in a little more, and then you suck it down. | ||
| But the regular juicer, it's just like... | ||
| It's like a juice. | ||
| You're like, oh, I went to Jabba Juice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tried to get my little kid to try it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh, yeah, little kid. | ||
| I tried to get a three-year-old. | ||
| She licked that fucking green sperm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It looks like Hulk sperm. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, she says this? | |
| No, she doesn't say that. | ||
| Yeah, she's always talking about loads, that little kid. | ||
| You gotta say it's so wacky. | ||
| Princess tears or something. | ||
| Princess tears. | ||
| My daughter drinks it. | ||
| I said this is daddy's health drink. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Ryan's little daughter is like a freaking health match. | ||
| She's been drinking green juice from six months old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's cool. | ||
| With the same stuff? | ||
| That blended up stuff? | ||
| The Vitamex thing? | ||
| No, just a... | ||
| We go get a juice? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no, no. | |
| My daughter drinks juices. | ||
| From the press juicery, there's a place that they use some sort of a crazy hydraulic cold press, something that's better than grinding it up. | ||
| No, but she drinks like the Walmart juice. | ||
| His little girl drinks the Walmart juice. | ||
| She's a crazy... | ||
| Well, her diet's amazing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| My wife cooks everything from home, organic. | ||
| She's never had any meat or dairy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| She's been sick probably... | ||
| Three times in our whole life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's awesome. | ||
| No meat or dairy, huh? | ||
| It's so crazy to see his little kid. | ||
| Because usually I see little kids that are like sticking them at McDonald's, you know? | ||
| And this kid is like a super healthy eater. | ||
| And like, man, it's really crazy to see how that benefits a kid. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Your nutritional value? | ||
| Because I can tell this kid is healthy. | ||
| She's never sick. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And really, I don't know. | ||
| Does she at least get Sway ice cream once in a while or anything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Come on. | ||
| You can get really great ice creams. | ||
| Like those cashew nut ice creams. | ||
| Yeah, I love this stuff. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I would never go no dairy. | ||
| Cheese is just too fucking delicious. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| A steak and cheese with no cheese or with some fucking whack-ass vegan cheese. | ||
| You get away from me, sir. | ||
| There's a corner in Philadelphia where they have two... | ||
| I know. | ||
| I've been there before. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Pat and Gino's? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Gino's, yeah. | ||
| Gino's. | ||
| Is it Pat's, the other one? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Somebody tweet that at me. | ||
| Either way, they know what the fuck they're doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they do, yeah. | |
| They know what the fuck they're doing, and cheese is very important. | ||
| But you feel like real East Coast when you go there. | ||
| Like, yeah, that's right, East Coast, give me that thing! | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Like, steak and cheese? | ||
| And for a lot of dudes, it's like 2am, they struck out at the bars, and then they're like, let's see if we can get over to the steak and cheese place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe some pussy. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Just get hammered and go eat. | ||
| That's when that shit's delicious. | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing better than fucking greasy food when you're hammered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh god, just give me this, whatever it is, cheese and meat. | |
| Greasy-ass fucking pastrami Reuben from Jerry's Deli. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You know that feeling? | ||
| Those pastrami Reubens where you lather that fucking, what is that, thousand-ounce dressing on the inside of that bitch? | ||
| And just the fat is exploding in your mouth. | ||
| Just an orgasm. | ||
| Oh, cheese and fucking sauerkraut. | ||
| When you're hammered, man, there's nothing better than that. | ||
| People who have never been hammered or high really don't understand what food really tastes like. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| You sort of know. | ||
| Swilling your wine in your mouth. | ||
| If you've never really been hammered, come on, son. | ||
| You've never really been high. | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| You eat some dumb stuff and you're hammered, bro. | ||
| You're like, I've never, like, I'm just like, oh, Jack in the Box. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what? | |
| I would never, I look, Jack in the Box, you know, sober-minded. | ||
| Especially as a professional athlete, right? | ||
| Bro, I look at that thing like, oh my god, I've been drunk before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're the best. | |
| Man, Jack in the Box is just like an orgy of flavors all over you, just like squirting mustard all over your tits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Like, you're just like, I, like, What's that again? | ||
| Can you say it slower this time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| More feeling? | ||
| Let me look you in the eyes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And I don't think that's a healthy diet for anybody. | ||
| I think your brain doesn't care. | ||
| It's just like, this is what, at the caveman level, this is what I need to survive. | ||
| And I don't feel like that's how we should live our lives. | ||
| The best is the Whole Foods all-you-can-eat bar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love Whole Foods. | |
| You just sit there and you're just picking out of... | ||
| It's like a salad bar, but Whole Foods style. | ||
| It's all you can eat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you pay for a pound. | |
| It's all you can eat? | ||
| There'll be some damn skinny fat guys there for sure. | ||
| If I could go somewhere and get like unlimited chicken breast, I'd be on. | ||
| I'd just be sitting right next to the bar. | ||
| Well, that's what Fogo de Chau is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's gangster. | ||
| That place is gangster. | ||
| Man, I owe you a cuss out too, by the way. | ||
| I was sitting on the toilet cussing you out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, man, Joe Rogan, he's like, let's go to Fogo de Chau. | |
| I'm like, what is this place? | ||
| They come around to you. | ||
| It's Brazilian Jodigio. | ||
| They come around to you like you're a king with a big lamb shank. | ||
| Like, would you like some of this? | ||
| Of course you say, yes, it's meat in your face! | ||
| You know what you're going to find out? | ||
| They have them almost in every mall, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fake ones that are just as good and cheap. | |
| They weigh it by the pound. | ||
| What you want to eat by the pound. | ||
| Fogo is all you can eat. | ||
| Fogo is the best. | ||
| I'm sitting on the toilet. | ||
| I was hurting, man. | ||
| I was like, I'm going to tweet at Joe Rogan right now. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like when I eat at that place, I feel like a real carnivore. | ||
| Because there's nothing but meat. | ||
| It's just meat. | ||
| You've got to open up the poop chute first. | ||
| Asparagus, broccoli, lettuce, everything in there. | ||
| Pack the bowl. | ||
| Collard greens. | ||
| You've got to pack your bowl first. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| I'm just going to eat the meat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm only going to eat the meat. | |
| Don't do it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| That's Joey Diaz. | ||
| Brock Lesnar, you son. | ||
| Tuberculitis? | ||
| Some shit stuck up in y'all. | ||
| We went to Brazil last December. | ||
| That's how we ate every day. | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| I've been more eating meat than I did all year. | ||
| I was so fat. | ||
| Especially after training. | ||
| Doesn't it feel like the perfect thing to eat after training? | ||
| Hey man, you ever take a rib bone and just chew it and break it off the rib just to feel like an animal? | ||
| I do that with chicken bones. | ||
| Never? | ||
| I just bite off the ends and suck the marrow out of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Oh man, I love your caveman status. | ||
| I can't help it. | ||
| My mom always did it. | ||
| I grew up with savages, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your mom was picking fleas off the back of you? | ||
| Yeah, she's half orangutan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
At least. | |
| A beautiful woman. | ||
| A beautiful woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rogan's sister swinging down from the treehouse. | |
| My mom used to bite the bottoms off chicken bones and suck the marrow out. | ||
| Tell me that's not some crazy monkey shit. | ||
| Jazz monkey. | ||
| Whatever, bro. | ||
| Who might have judged? | ||
| Who even figured that out? | ||
| That's some old world shit. | ||
| People stopped sucking marrow out about two generations ago. | ||
| Food became plentiful enough that we didn't have to suck the marrow out of the bones. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Do you guys ever roll with the kid from Jerry Maguire? | ||
| Remember that little kid that had glasses? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Do ecstasy with them? | ||
| No, he does jiu-jitsu and he choked out heffron like five times in a row and he was talking about on his podcast how ashamed he was because it was the little kid from Jerry Maguire. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| I didn't know Heffron's doing jiu-jitsu on a regular basis. | ||
| Yeah, I guess he does it here and there. | ||
| John Heffron? | ||
| John Heffron, stand-up comic. | ||
| He won last comic standing. | ||
| He's a good buddy of ours. | ||
| I did a whole tour with him, him and Charlie Murphy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| We traveled across the country years ago. | ||
| I've got to look at that. | ||
| I didn't see that. | ||
| Yeah, we did a Bud-like comedy tour. | ||
| Oh, I do remember that. | ||
| That's why I could remember the guy's name so hard. | ||
| What's he look like? | ||
| Heffron? | ||
| Handsome man. | ||
| White guy? | ||
| Dark hair. | ||
| White guy. | ||
| Very clean cut looking. | ||
| Handsome white guy? | ||
| Very, very funny stand-up comic. | ||
| And a good dude, too. | ||
| Party. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| But he likes to go to fucking karate classes and shit and take new and different things. | ||
| He just started wrestling and does judo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| He's cool. | ||
| He gets into shit. | ||
| He's one of those real obsessive... | ||
| One of those guys, he gets onto something and just becomes absolutely obsessed with it. | ||
| For a while, it was like that Tony Robbins shit. | ||
| Neuro-linguistic programming. | ||
| And he used to have little fucking hand movements before he went on stage. | ||
| He would do a certain thing with his hand and that would lock him into the mindset of him killing when he's on stage. | ||
| And then he could take it and just go with it on stage. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Amway kind of guy. | ||
| You believe in that shit? | ||
| You've got a lot of interesting thoughts about motivation. | ||
| Yeah, I think all that stuff came from Milton Erickson. | ||
| You know who he is? | ||
| No. | ||
| The father of kind of modern hypnosis. | ||
| He's a really super interesting, amazing guy. | ||
| So there was one guy who figured out hypnosis? | ||
| There's three books called Conversations with Milton Erickson. | ||
| When did they come up with it? | ||
| What year? | ||
| He would be long passed away. | ||
| What year do you think they invented hypnosis? | ||
| I think versions of it could go on for... | ||
| Maybe someone just kind of put this together. | ||
| Okay, so this guy didn't invent hypnosis. | ||
| He just... | ||
| I think of what people know as modern hypnosis. | ||
| A lot of it came from Milton Erickson. | ||
| And he would kind of hypnotize whole groups of people. | ||
| Really super interesting guy. | ||
| And he was in a wheelchair, too. | ||
| Any of you guys got hypnotized before? | ||
| Wait, you're talking this guy is Professor Xavier? | ||
| He's like in a wheelchair doing this maneuver? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's badass. | ||
| That is Captain Xavier. | ||
| So all that NLP stuff came from a lot of what Milton Erickson was doing. | ||
| So he was the first guy to figure out how to hypnotize large groups? | ||
| Oh, he would do that just by the way he's... | ||
| The patterns he used to speak. | ||
| Right, but did other people? | ||
| Just by the patterns. | ||
| So he would go on stage, he would speak in a certain pattern, and the whole audience would be hypnotized. | ||
| Yeah, and then he'll kind of drop things into it. | ||
| He's a really interesting guy. | ||
| So would you be hypnotized? | ||
| Was everybody hypnotized? | ||
| Who knows if it was everybody, but that was... | ||
| I remember one guy saying to me that when you're on stage you've got to hypnotize the audience. | ||
| And I've seen you do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What you do is... | ||
| I wouldn't say hypnotize. | ||
| What I say is you get them with your focus and your intent and with the economy of words so that they don't have to work too hard and know exactly what you're saying. | ||
| You project what you're thinking into their head and then it's like you operate their mind. | ||
| They allow you inside their You take them on a journey. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So I wouldn't say it's hypnotizing, but it is a lot like that. | ||
| There's a connection. | ||
| There's an undeniable connection that you have with the crowd. | ||
| As a comic, you feel it, you lock into it, and you ride it. | ||
| And you have to ride it with super honesty. | ||
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| If you're not really in the moment, it'll stop. | ||
| It'll stop, and then they'll just become words, and you lose this connection. | ||
| That's like creating rapport. | ||
| All those things go a long way to keeping that connection going. | ||
| Yeah, so this guy just stands or sat there in the wheelchair and would talk and the audience would walk out. | ||
| I would imagine you're very similar. | ||
| Not like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He wakes him up and you make out with the person sitting there. | |
| Don't go comical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And sleep! | |
| Right as he comes. | ||
| And sleep! | ||
| So you're telling me that people... | ||
| I know that people have been to the damn hypnotizing show and they're like... | ||
| Yeah, you know, and then she got up and, you know, barked like a dog every time he snapped his fingers. | ||
| Is there any truth to that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| I'm asking you guys. | ||
| I've seen it a bunch of times. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Comedy hypnosis shows by a bunch of different dudes. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen it a bunch of times. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| It doesn't work on everybody, but it works on some people. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I figure... | ||
| I think you have to weak-head mind or something. | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| No, remember Urkel... | ||
| Someone's been hypnotized. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| Remember Urkel... | ||
| I missed what you guys were saying. | ||
| We were saying that you have to be weak to get hypnotized. | ||
| And he goes, not necessarily. | ||
| And we're like, oh, someone's been hypnotized. | ||
| He was at the funny bone, and then it was just out of nowhere. | ||
| Has they ever tried to hypnotize you? | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| That's what I'm trying. | ||
| I don't think they could do it. | ||
| I would be like, all right, cool. | ||
| Let's try. | ||
| You have to be willing to let yourself go. | ||
| Yeah, I probably wouldn't be. | ||
| I'd be like, fuck that! | ||
| Yeah, you're right, you're right. | ||
| You wouldn't bark like a dog, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think different people have different definitions, first of all, for hypnosis. | ||
| There's other people that they'll describe hypnosis as as just putting someone in a very relaxed state where they're receptive to information. | ||
| and you can talk to them in a more balanced way than you can when they're up and hyper and looking at you and looking around. | ||
| And so the idea of hypnosis, it's not like they're not conscious. | ||
| They're very conscious. | ||
| They're conscious and aware. | ||
| They're just relaxed into a certain level of consciousness. | ||
| It's not standard. | ||
| It's relaxed and controlled. | ||
| And that even though they're aware of everything, they're still being hypnotized. | ||
| I don't know what the official definition of it is, but I have seen people that are absolutely hypnotized and believe that there's things that are going on in one of those hypnosis comedy shows that... | ||
| There's things that are going on around them and they can't control it and they can't stop it and they come in their pants. | ||
| I've seen them thinking that there's monsters in the room. | ||
| I've seen all that shit. | ||
| Why would they come in their pants if there's monsters in the room? | ||
| No, there's different tricks. | ||
| My bad, my bad. | ||
| There was one where there was this guy, Frank... | ||
| Frank Santos, who had this guy having sex with Madonna on stage. | ||
| I'll never forget this. | ||
| And the guy's like, and you're inside of her, and you're inside of her. | ||
| And the dude just nuts in his fucking pants. | ||
| Wait, did you see that? | ||
| Did you hear this? | ||
| You see the kid just nut. | ||
| You see the kid just nut, like immediately. | ||
| Like nuts in his pants, and everyone starts laughing and howling. | ||
| And then, you know, the hypnotist goes, whoa, I guess you enjoyed that. | ||
| All right, all right, clean yourself up over there. | ||
| And the kid just walks off stage and the people that worked there helped him and brought him into the bathroom. | ||
| The kid just fucking shot a load in his pants. | ||
| He really believed he was having sex with the father. | ||
| Wait, was this Brian or was this somebody else? | ||
| It wasn't in the backseat of my Toyota Prius. | ||
| I'm not saying it's Michio Kaku and they're getting hypnotized. | ||
| They're probably some knuckleheads. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, was that guy just a plant... | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I know the hypnotist. | ||
| The hypnotist was very honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For what? | |
| He was really capable of doing it. | ||
| Not to everybody. | ||
| He would pick people out of the crowd. | ||
| He'd say, who wants to get hypnotized? | ||
| He'd bring them up on stage. | ||
| And he would always know who wasn't really under. | ||
| There's some people, he goes, and he would tell you. | ||
| I go, how do you know when they're not under? | ||
| He goes, oh, you can just tell. | ||
| I go, well, what do you do? | ||
| He goes, you can't do it. | ||
| You can't hypnotize them. | ||
| Some people you can't hypnotize. | ||
| So it's like, there's almost like some people, they're programmed in a certain way, where there's just a door open, and you can just open that door and get inside. | ||
| We have newer operating systems than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was patched at 2.5. | ||
| Yeah, that's some old shit. | ||
| That's Mac OS X or OS 8, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
MS Boss! | |
| Yeah, I think everyone has a capability to go there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Capability if you can relax enough to be hypnotized. | ||
| If you decide that that's a place that you're going to go to and you're open and receptive to it, of course. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Everyone. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| That's why things like advertising works. | ||
| Does it really work? | ||
| I guess it works, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But does it really? | ||
| I think what works more is the court of public opinion. | ||
| Things that are desirable are desirable because a bunch of people like them, not just because of advertisement. | ||
| It becomes a chicken and egg fail. | ||
| When was the last time you saw a Ferrari advertisement? | ||
| You don't see them. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| They don't need to do that. | ||
| Yeah, why? | ||
| Because it's a fucking Ferrari. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| And you hear that thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was good. | |
| That was pretty good. | ||
| Hey, what are you talking about, dude? | ||
| They have a Ferrari store in a mall. | ||
| You just never leave the house. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, no. | ||
| And you can buy their items. | ||
| They don't advertise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't advertise. | |
| That's advertising enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not. | |
| They're selling things, bro. | ||
| They're saying they were so awesome. | ||
| They're capitalizing off their image and making money. | ||
| No, they advertise a different way. | ||
| They advertise a different way, dude. | ||
| They have a Formula One car that's driven by Team Ferrari. | ||
| That's advertising. | ||
| That's advertising. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| It's also how they develop their product. | ||
| Well, that's why the advertising works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it's so congruent with their product. | ||
| Right, but it's sort of a part of their business. | ||
| I wouldn't say it's advertising as much as I'd say it's a necessary part of their business. | ||
| How do you not get this? | ||
| Not in the traditional way that I'm putting an ad in the newspaper advertising. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But what I'm saying is they don't try to reach outside of their sport and make commercials on TV. When was the last time you saw a commercial for Ferrari in a magazine? | ||
| No, listen, dude. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| My point is that they don't need to. | ||
| They're such an established name. | ||
| I would say that they do market and advertise. | ||
| They just do it in different ways. | ||
| And I feel like they really did all the advertisement a long time ago. | ||
| They did all the advertisement a long time ago. | ||
| They've been such a badass name for so long that we don't even need to advertise. | ||
| You know our shit costs $500,000 and you can't afford it, so fuck off. | ||
| That's really their... | ||
| Well, it's not even just that. | ||
| It's just that they're the best. | ||
| What about Lamborghini? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| They're not as good. | ||
| There's something about them. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| Lamborghini is too trashy. | ||
| You're trying too hard. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| You're going to be saying that when I got a Lamborghini, bro. | ||
| They're still pretty wicked. | ||
| Gallardo, especially, is still pretty wicked. | ||
| But if you had to choose between a Lamborghini and a Ferrari, what's a cooler car? | ||
| Lamborghini all day, bro. | ||
| What's your problem? | ||
| Yeah, Lamborghini. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You like them? | ||
| Yeah, because it's like freaking badass. | ||
| When you were a little kid, you were like, man, I want a Lamborghini, bro. | ||
| And you had a little toy Lamborghini, and you're like, yeah, look at it. | ||
| It's purple and black, but it's shiny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, then it gets wet, and now it's green. | |
| That's what I'm talking about! | ||
| So, Lamborghini was awesome. | ||
| Ferrari was like the old man dork car when you had it. | ||
| I'm an old man dork. | ||
| Well, I guess... | ||
| Well, you know, James Bond. | ||
| Fuck James Bond. | ||
| I don't even have a Ferrari. | ||
| That wasn't my point. | ||
| My point is that... | ||
| I'm just talking about my Matchbox experience, bro. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| Like, I just felt like Lamborghini was really kicking it off in circa 1986. Don't get me wrong. | ||
| The Murcilli Lago, whatever that's called, that's a pretty fucking beastly car. | ||
| That's a Ferrari. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| No, it's a Lamborghini. | ||
| Oh yeah, Marcielago? | ||
| Marcielago? | ||
| Wait, there's another one. | ||
| But the Lamborghini Marcielago is the main one. | ||
| Marcielago, yeah, yeah. | ||
| $350,000 car or something crazy like that. | ||
| That was the first one like that? | ||
| That was a monstrous, ridiculous beast. | ||
| I just remember that shit looked like Back to the Future, bro. | ||
| They're all ridiculous like that. | ||
| They're almost too ridiculous looking. | ||
| Whereas Ferrari is like, I guess not though. | ||
| Ferrari is pretty ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, exactly! | ||
| You see a Ferrari with no top, it just looks like a weird, crazy boat car. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I love that someone's dumb enough to make something like that. | ||
| Dumb enough to make something that's just fucking completely reckless. | ||
| Defies traffic violations. | ||
| In first gear, it'll pass the fucking speed limit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't got a driver's license because I had a car that wasn't even that fast. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| No, I just kept getting tickets and throwing them out the window. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| You know, I just was like, I'll pay it online. | ||
| I'll pay it online. | ||
| But I didn't realize there was points on this thing. | ||
| Like, there's a point limit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that for parking? | ||
| You hit the limit and they shut you off? | ||
| Yeah, they were like, nope, sorry. | ||
| Parking's not that, right? | ||
| Like, parking has no points. | ||
| Man, I have a bunch of parking tickets, too. | ||
| I paid them all off, though. | ||
| I'm legit. | ||
| Because I have a parking ticket that I can't find. | ||
| So you were speeding? | ||
| Yeah, a bunch of times, yeah. | ||
| And, you know, they just catch you in weird spots, like on the way to training, and it's just a back road. | ||
| There's no school on it or anything. | ||
| Have you ever considered getting, like, a real, like, luxury-style car, like a Cadillac or something like that, where you would just drive slow, like one of those big-ass Cadillacs? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I just like people driving me around, so I'm glad I lost. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, whatever, just drive me. | ||
| It's like a text. | ||
| Just drive me somewhere. | ||
| Everybody, I got Sarge. | ||
| Bro, he went from driving the damn Land Cruiser on the damn Afghanistan front. | ||
| Now he just drives me around. | ||
| I'm like, come on, Sarge. | ||
| He was over there fighting. | ||
| Sarge is like my homie. | ||
| He's like a real close friend of mine. | ||
| And he got blown up by a rocket in Afghanistan. | ||
| But no, he's good. | ||
| It didn't blow all the way up. | ||
| It hit his headrest. | ||
| It hit his headrest and blasted him. | ||
| And I just cut into his back and stuff. | ||
| He called me up like, yo, bro. | ||
| I'm coming home. | ||
| I got hit by a rocket. | ||
| I'm like, for real? | ||
| I'm like, man, come back, dude. | ||
| All right, I'll see you soon. | ||
| He's like, all right. | ||
| Man, he called back two weeks later. | ||
| He's like, no, I'm good, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| I'm killing all these guys. | ||
| I'm like, oh, my. | ||
| I'm like, all right. | ||
| What can you say to that? | ||
| Like, I understand. | ||
| Fucking go for it. | ||
| Like, yo, but he made it back, dude. | ||
| We went and visited. | ||
| What was this about? | ||
| Where the fuck did this conversation get started from? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Now I'm talking about it. | ||
| So I'm excited. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Oh, because of Sarge. | ||
| And how did Sarge get into this? | ||
| For driving you around? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's driving me around. | ||
| Yeah, that's the whole point I was making anyway. | ||
| But yeah, but I'm saying he... | ||
| That's a crazy ass story, dude. | ||
| And that's what's happening to kids. | ||
| And, you know, kids. | ||
| Like, this guy was like 23 years old. | ||
| Like, I'm like, damn, dude. | ||
| Like, he's been through enough adventure for a man three times his age. | ||
| You know, already. | ||
| I didn't mean to get... | ||
| It just got me started cranking about Sarge. | ||
| Sorry, guys. | ||
| Have you ever been kicked out of a library? | ||
| War commentary by Jason Mayhem Miller. | ||
| No, I know, but I'm just thinking because, you know, I could have done that. | ||
| Yeah, I could have too. | ||
| Joined up real easy because my old man was in it and, like, I grew up in the Army, you know? | ||
| So I, like, I feel, like, real connection to dudes in the Army and I'm, like, in the Marines and the Air Force, whatever. | ||
| I'm just, like, I see how you got to live to be in that. | ||
| You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do in this life, but it is kind of weird when you see those crazy video game commercials about joining the Marines. | ||
| You know, when you go, wow, that's like really influencing the shit out of kids. | ||
| Yeah, or the video games that they make. | ||
| That's like Call of Duty, but they make it, and they have an army game. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Is Call of Duty based in the present time, or is it a... | ||
| Bro, Call of Duty is awesome. | ||
| Don't give me I don't know anything about it. | ||
| Some of them are World War I. Some of them are World War II. Some of them are Vietnam. | ||
| The latest ones are Modern Warfare. | ||
| You feel like you're in a real war. | ||
| The one who plays that shit is Bruce Buffer. | ||
| We were in England and this dude was in his laptop with fucking crazy eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Online. | ||
| Jacking people, looking through windows and throwing grenades and shit. | ||
| I was like, what is that? | ||
| It's like Call of Duty. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| The graphics and everything. | ||
| But man, you see people, how fucking tuned in they get to these games. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| How nutty it is. | ||
| Wasn't you into video games before? | ||
| Yeah, bad. | ||
| Hardcore for a long time. | ||
| But my point is, when is the next level of immersion going to come? | ||
| Because you know it's going to. | ||
| They're going to figure out some fucking goggles anywhere. | ||
| They already did. | ||
| They have those goggles. | ||
| You strap in. | ||
| You have LED. And you're going to be able to look down and see your feet. | ||
| You're going to be able to look around. | ||
| You're going to be in that fucking world, man. | ||
| That's around the corner. | ||
| That's a decade away. | ||
| They're going to figure out some fucking virtual reality shit. | ||
| Because when we were kids, virtual reality was what they kept talking about. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| Wait until virtual reality. | ||
| But then when it came, it was like, this is like goggles and it doesn't work. | ||
| It looks whack. | ||
| Yeah, but technology is advancing now. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They stepped on their dick. | ||
| They were running so fast, they stepped on their dick. | ||
| But now, the shit's coming. | ||
| You have to figure out how you move around. | ||
| How would you move? | ||
| Because you'd want to move your body. | ||
| You can't move your body. | ||
| Motion sensors. | ||
| The only thing you couldn't do is have people in giant warehouses. | ||
| The holodeck? | ||
| Give them the virtual reality experience. | ||
| You'd put the fucking helmet on them and set them in the center of a giant warehouse. | ||
| And the warehouse, as they walked around... | ||
| Wait, you never watched Star Trek, bro? | ||
| You never watched Star Trek before? | ||
| The holodeck? | ||
| The holodeck? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| The holodeck. | ||
| You're like, I'm going up to the holodeck. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Are you saying Star Trek as in the next generation? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I didn't watch that fucking show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dare you? | |
| Out of respect. | ||
| Out of respect to Captain Kirk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever, bro. | |
| That was a great show. | ||
| You're missing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, bro. | |
| I was too young for that shit, okay? | ||
| Out of respect. | ||
| That was my version, okay? | ||
| And I don't care, bro. | ||
| Worf is a bad motherfucker, okay? | ||
| I'll just tell you right now. | ||
| Dato, he was awesome. | ||
| He was super smart. | ||
| Sometimes he had emotions. | ||
| Sometimes he didn't. | ||
| And after Star Trek The Next Generation gets overlooked. | ||
| I can't do it, sir. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They had Scotty again. | ||
| He was like 900 years old. | ||
| Had a mustache, a funny fucking voice. | ||
| Yeah, his head was gigantic and watermelon-like. | ||
| There's no need for that. | ||
| Did you see the Michael Jackson death photo? | ||
| What happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real? | |
| What they believe is Michael Jackson's death photo. | ||
| Well, I mean, they had it in court. | ||
| That was the courtroom picture. | ||
| But is it really? | ||
| How do we know? | ||
| Because it's on TMZ. That's where they got it from. | ||
| Well, someone was in court and they took the picture. | ||
| Yeah, the prosecutors were showing it to show that. | ||
| How did it get online? | ||
| Because I think the opening statement's broadcast live on TMZ right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And Ustream actually has it on right now. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| TMZ is a legitimate news source in a fucking courthouse while Michael Jackson's, you know... | ||
| It's just public. | ||
| I think it's open to the public. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, what are you talking about? | |
| That's the perfect place to put that news. | ||
| It is, right? | ||
| It's like, that's the celebrity, like, worship shit, you know? | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Yeah, but this Michael Jackson doctor thing is kind of funny, man. | ||
| Yeah, what happened? | ||
| I don't even know what happened. | ||
| Did he kill the guy or what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just can't wait for the death photo music video, though, where they use that photo to do music video. | ||
| You know, shit like that's coming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I remember when I was alive and I didn't molest the children. | |
| Let both of you guys get a fucking room. | ||
| Stop hating, Joe Rogan! | ||
| Drive your Ferrari around! | ||
| You're so loud, bro. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's a radio show. | ||
| You're supposed to be loud. | ||
| No, this is not a radio show. | ||
| This is a conversation amongst friends. | ||
| Why are you talking to me in a way you would never talk to me if we weren't on the internet like this? | ||
| Oh, time out, Joe Rogan. | ||
| You wouldn't be doing this. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| I smell what you're cooking. | ||
| He took it to another level because we're on the internet. | ||
| You took it to another level. | ||
| You hang out with me. | ||
| Do I not fucking flip out like that on a normal basis? | ||
| I told you to put some windows. | ||
| I can't help it. | ||
| Why do you think I go to a gym every day, guys? | ||
| Because that's your job. | ||
| That's my job, but guess what? | ||
| It stopped me from having jobs where I had to be normal. | ||
| I can run around on the mat and go, ah! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I'm just saying I pick that path because sometimes I do this. | |
| That's your medication. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| So I just want to yell sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes I sing to my wiener dog, bro. | ||
| Do you monster fuck bitches? | ||
| He's got to, right? | ||
| It's up to him. | ||
| Wow, do you want to watch me? | ||
| No, I mean, I can just imagine you. | ||
| What is this about? | ||
| What is this about? | ||
| It would be a terrible thing to neither admit to or even acknowledge. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Why is he watching? | ||
| You want to watch? | ||
| No, I'm just... | ||
| I'm just imagining... | ||
| Wait, you want to wrestle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have a three-quarter erection in the corner. | |
| Half-erection crying while you're fucking some girl. | ||
| Weeping as he comes and just dribbles on his foot. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Ryan Parsons. | ||
| Hey, come and drink some coffee, guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think? | |
| That's a good idea? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that'll help you, for sure. | |
| That's what you need in your life. | ||
| When you start training, you're training for your December 3rd fight right now. | ||
| Yeah, already. | ||
| Do you have to watch shit like coffee? | ||
| Do you limit that for your night? | ||
| Coffee, not so much. | ||
| But man, I stopped chewing tobacco. | ||
| Man, it was making me angry. | ||
| I have to stop. | ||
| I just stopped. | ||
| You were doing it in Colorado, weren't you, when we were up there? | ||
| Yeah, I just quit. | ||
| I was like, man, you know what? | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
| My doctor called me, he said, you gotta stop that. | ||
| I was like, alright, I'll stop. | ||
| It's not even that hard. | ||
| Coffee, I stopped drinking coffee. | ||
| Coffee is fine, but I stopped drinking coffee before I had a headache after three days, man. | ||
| I've done that, yeah. | ||
| But this thing is just, man, I want to chew. | ||
| And then I'll go, no, no, I don't. | ||
| And then that's it. | ||
| There's no pain or anything. | ||
| What does a chew do for you? | ||
| It tightens up your brain, that's for sure. | ||
| I can see why people smoke cigarettes. | ||
| The nicotine is kind of like the same concept, that neurotropic, right? | ||
| Your brain comes alive a little bit and you get focused down. | ||
| But I don't know, man. | ||
| So you definitely think that nicotine in general has that sort of a... | ||
| To me, it's more of like a calming, relaxing thing. | ||
| But it's more of a check. | ||
| Like, he's right. | ||
| It kind of gives you a check. | ||
| Kevin James loves cigars. | ||
| That's fun, bro. | ||
| We smoke cigars together. | ||
| It's one of the rare times I smoke them. | ||
| But you get high off of those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You do. | ||
| You get some weird buzz off a good cigar. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's nicotine, man. | ||
| It's a drug, nicotine. | ||
| But I don't get addicted. | ||
| I don't need it the next day. | ||
| Oh, no, no. | ||
| Well, it's a different... | ||
| It takes a long time to get addicted, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's a different type of high anyway. | ||
| That's a more intense... | ||
| Yeah, smoking a cigar is like intense burning in your mouth and you feel the nicotine like quick burn that. | ||
| But doing like a dip or whatever, it's like more like a constant thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like a constant, not that intense, but more constant. | ||
| So I can see why people get addicted to it or whatever. | ||
| I hope I'm remembering. | ||
| I thought it was like 18 months to 3 years to get addicted to cigarettes. | ||
| No, really? | ||
| That it takes 18 months? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope I'm remembering that right. | |
| That's about right. | ||
| Unfortunately, I started when I was 15, and I think the first couple years was more of just like I was smoking because I was in high school, and me and my friend would go to his house during lunch break and just smoke cigarettes. | ||
| But it wasn't like I needed to smoke cigarettes, but it was kind of like we just did it because we were in high school. | ||
| Yeah, I was really surprised. | ||
| I thought it would happen real quick, but it doesn't. | ||
| No, that's crazy. | ||
| Well, good. | ||
| I missed the window. | ||
| I did that for a little while. | ||
| You still got time. | ||
| When I was in high school, the baddest kid on the wrestling team smoked cigarettes. | ||
| This kid, Mark Collin, he was a sick wrestler. | ||
| Fucking wiry little angry dude. | ||
| My dad would smoke cigarettes and just run forever. | ||
| He would smoke cigarettes and just run 12 miles. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Are you smoking cigarettes? | ||
| We worked out in the basement. | ||
| That's where the wrestling room was. | ||
| It's all fucking asbestos in there. | ||
| Everybody probably inhaled half a pound of that shit. | ||
| The insulation was all... | ||
| It was in 1981 or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| And Mark would wrestle and then he would go outside and smoke a cigarette in the snow. | ||
| And he's standing there and he's fucking wrestling, all sweaty and shit, smoking a cigarette with his girlfriend in the snow. | ||
| I was like, what a crazy asshole. | ||
| But he was just such a wild motherfucker when he wrestled. | ||
| That kid could have been a legit killer wrestler. | ||
| Everybody's met guys like that. | ||
| They just have a few vices that they can never let go. | ||
| I know you want to hang. | ||
| They take it to a high level, but they can't keep going. | ||
| They get to a real high level, and they just sort of flatline. | ||
| They don't keep continuing on that upward path. | ||
| The most difficult dance is to maintain your balance through the entire progression as a fighter. | ||
| Now as a fighter, through life. | ||
| I feel like fighting in my mirror is life for sure. | ||
| It's this accelerated... | ||
| View of what happens in life. | ||
| Yeah, and anything that is very, very difficult. | ||
| I always think about that as fights as poetry for the actual act of living life. | ||
| If you look at each individual fight, it has a story. | ||
| If you break it down frame by frame, and you do that for your job, if you really think about it, a lot of it is, we get so used to it and desensitized to it, but every fight has a little story in it. | ||
| That's what makes Mixed Martial Arts really interesting to me. | ||
| Because everything you do, your life can play out in just this exact particular way as a fight. | ||
| They mirror each other. | ||
| And shit can happen. | ||
| And shit can happen. | ||
| Do you look at your career like your future ahead and say, you know, hey, you know, this is when I'm going to get out. | ||
| I have, you know, X amount of years before shit starts to get slippery. | ||
| Yeah, I think we talked about this before. | ||
| Like, I feel like, yeah, you know, at some point your body goes. | ||
| Like, you got to go, okay, and look at it from, you know, I don't know, you have to take that as a fighter. | ||
| You have to take that from every angle. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And see what's best for you. | ||
| You know, there's guys that, you know, plenty of guys. | ||
| Nobody goes out on top. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You got a porn star career, kind of. | ||
| Yeah, you have to. | ||
| There's some guys, I don't know. | ||
| It's just, what can you do in the time that you have to do with it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What I was trying to get at was, do you map it out? | |
| Do you write down the things you want to do? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| This is getting kind of weird. | ||
| I feel personal now. | ||
| Yeah, it feels personal. | ||
| It's personal for me too. | ||
| I've come over to my house and I have my motivation things on the wall and I get fucking embarrassed because people read them. | ||
| What kind of a clown are you? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| One of them was super embarrassing. | ||
| Singles fucking tick him off. | ||
| I want to get my asshole bleached. | ||
| One of my little things that I wrote down is be someone that you'd be envious of. | ||
| I'm like, God, what a douchey fucking thing to read. | ||
| Yeah, whatever, that's awesome. | ||
| It's a good idea to try to live your life by that. | ||
| It is, it's good. | ||
| Most people don't do this, but you have to set out to become an interesting person because no one's born that way. | ||
| You have to do things in your life to make... | ||
| I think there are people that are absolutely interesting without even trying. | ||
| They just think a certain way and they have certain interests and certain desires. | ||
| I don't think you have to set out to. | ||
| Yeah, but they went somewhere. | ||
| They started venturing down that trail. | ||
| Maybe it's just because that's what fascinated them. | ||
| Man, you guys are chicken and egg right now. | ||
| You guys always do that. | ||
| That's pretty interesting. | ||
| I think wild statements like no one ever blank. | ||
| For sure, someone can be interesting without trying. | ||
| I know a lot of people that are just probably autistic and just geniuses and absolutely fascinating and they're not trying at all. | ||
| I know video game coders. | ||
| You ever talk to one of those head guys? | ||
| You mean some guys just hit the lottery and are interesting naturally? | ||
| Well, they're just fascinating. | ||
| They're just fascinating people without trying at all. | ||
| I feel like everybody got a story. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Some people have no story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out of here. | |
| Some people born, eat shit, dig hole, then die. | ||
| Well, that's a story in itself, and there could be some beauty in there. | ||
| It's sort of one of those little stories. | ||
| That's a coming-of-age story. | ||
| It's a coming-of-age tale. | ||
| You get a jack-in-the-box. | ||
| Remember you get a little storybook and a jack-in-the-box? | ||
| That's that guy's life. | ||
| I couldn't afford Jack in the Box. | ||
| You couldn't afford Jack in the Box? | ||
| Not Jack in the Box. | ||
| What is a Cracker Jack? | ||
| McDonald's? | ||
| Oh, Cracker Jack. | ||
| That's a whole different thing. | ||
| I was trying to think of the little toys that you got, and I said Jack in the Box instead of Cracker Jack. | ||
| And they had the little tattoos. | ||
| I was real confused. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| I mean, whatever. | ||
| You know what it was? | ||
| You were talking about how delicious Jack in the Box is. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I totally hypnotized your eyes! | |
| Man, I had a kickboxing trainer. | ||
| You know who Master Todd is? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That guy is an interesting, interesting character. | ||
| You were telling me when we were at that professional Muay Thai place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| He was holding pads for me and I'm like, alright. | ||
| And he's like, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No look at pads! | |
| I'm like, don't look at the pads? | ||
| No look at the pads! | ||
| I'm like, okay, I won't look at the pads. | ||
| He's like, no. | ||
| Look at my eyes! | ||
| Look my eyes! | ||
| Hypnotize my eyes! | ||
| Hypnotize my eyes? | ||
| Hypnotize my eyes! | ||
| That's what he would say when you hit pads with him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| And I had to look him in the eyes! | ||
| And try not to laugh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| People don't know. | ||
| Explain that for people who don't know. | ||
| That's fucking the Y crew. | ||
| You have to do this dance before you go into the ring, and you want to do the dance, and it's like, you know, I mean, it's cool when you see it. | ||
| But explain the music while the fight's going on. | ||
| Okay, yeah, three minute rounds, okay, the whole time. | ||
| It's like the cafe scene from Star Wars music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| It's very weird, interesting. | ||
| You think a girl dancing with blue hair, I mean blue tubes coming out of her head? | ||
| We can play it. | ||
| We can play it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it called? | |
| Will you? | ||
| Yeah, what is it called? | ||
| Just put a Y-Crew in the internet. | ||
| W-Y-U-K-R-U. There's two words. | ||
| Or Thai music. | ||
| Y-Crew, Y-Crew music. | ||
| Muay Thai music. | ||
| You can put Muay Thai music in there because Sarge, before we battle that Call of Duty. | ||
| Yeah, he puts the point time music and does the dance. | ||
| Like he does the Y crew. | ||
| No joke, Brian. | ||
| He like does the little dance that I'm going to kill you. | ||
| I'm like, really, dude? | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| He does that before you train? | ||
| No, but yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| I'm saying sorry. | ||
| Imagine a douchebag. | ||
| You guys got to fucking dance. | ||
| Who are you training with Muay Thai now? | ||
| Cordero? | ||
| Yeah, Cordero. | ||
| Rafael Cordero? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What an honor that is, huh? | ||
| You're training with the man from fucking Shoot the Bucks. | ||
| We have a crazy team right now. | ||
| So what people don't know is this sound, when you're watching Muay Thai, this is played through the entire fight. | ||
| It's fucking awesome, man. | ||
| This is exactly the song that he had on the tape. | ||
| He had a tape, not a fucking CD, a tape of this music playing three minutes and then in the middle of the rounds, you know, the one minute rest period, was Everybody dance now! | ||
| I'm like, whoa. | ||
| What the hell are you doing? | ||
| Put that music on a little bit in the background. | ||
| Put it on. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| I want to dance. | ||
| I used to not like it. | ||
| When I was younger, I would say, this is gross. | ||
| Why do they have to play this music? | ||
| But now, as I've gotten older and embraced differences in cultures, I find it fascinating. | ||
| I love that it exists. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That World Muay Thai thing we saw, that thing was awesome. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| The first match, I was like, oh, I'm not used to this. | ||
| Man, am I in a second match, third match? | ||
| I was like, this is great. | ||
| Loved it. | ||
| Yeah, especially, you know, the crazy stuff. | ||
| Real high-level stuff. | ||
| Yeah, the crazy stuff that happened. | ||
| The elbow, crazy elbows those guys caught each other with and stuff. | ||
| Like, it was great. | ||
| We saw Buakau Palpromak. | ||
| I think that's how you say his name. | ||
| We saw him get his 198th win. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He was so relaxed. | ||
| He was like a Zen master, bro. | ||
| Dude, he's so good. | ||
| And he's not even 30 or he's just turning 30 or something like that. | ||
| He's probably been pro for 17 years. | ||
| God damn it, he's good. | ||
| He dismantled Homeboy. | ||
| He dismantled Homeboy and he did it so relaxed. | ||
| It was like this guy never had a chance. | ||
| It was all technique. | ||
| Like everything he did, he was always in the right place. | ||
| Yeah, his knees, his kicks. | ||
| He fought that whole fight with the knees, basically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he just came out with a diagonal knee every time and it... | ||
| Actually, in the third round, he started doing that. | ||
| Because now he found that was his point where he could hit him with. | ||
| But he also did a lot of outside kicks and hooks. | ||
| It was all landed. | ||
| Even to his body. | ||
| He kicked that guy's arms everywhere. | ||
| He was so relaxed. | ||
| He's like Zen when he fights. | ||
| He could see it. | ||
| He's so chill. | ||
| How about in the fourth round when he put his hand up and walked away from the dude? | ||
| He put his arm up and was like, should I take him now? | ||
| He turned to the audience and looks at the audience with his hand up. | ||
| His Y crew was awesome. | ||
| Yeah, his Y crew was his shit. | ||
| He was stomping on the ground. | ||
| What happened was, the other guy, I believe he's from Canada, I'm not sure. | ||
| He's from Canada, but he's from South Africa. | ||
| I don't know, I might be wrong. | ||
| South Africa. | ||
| The other guy apparently pushed him at the weigh-ins and got in his face and said a bunch of crazy shit, and so Buakal said he was going to punish him, and he told everyone. | ||
| So he did his Y crew pretending he was shooting arrows, so he's doing his little pre-fight dance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop! | |
| He stomps on the ground. | ||
| He's shooting arrows at the guy. | ||
| And he got in the guy's space way too close. | ||
| Where his fist was literally inches from the guy's face when he ended. | ||
| So it was really intense. | ||
| And then he went out there and just dismantled the dude. | ||
| Slowly but surely. | ||
| It was a good performance. | ||
| That guy had some flashes of greatness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hands. | |
| Good hands. | ||
| His punching was really good. | ||
| And he came straight a few times and landed. | ||
| And came with a straight and hook combination. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see the experience of Bukha, how he would fade back when the dude was attacking? | ||
| The guy was coming after him with punches, but he would just fade back and then knees, fade back and then knees, tie him up, bang, knees to the body, knees to the body. | ||
| He's like flippy knees where his fucking hip turns and just digs his knee into the side of your rib cage. | ||
| The torque and the fucking technique that that guy has, man. | ||
| And then he just started chopping homeboy's leg. | ||
| Whack! | ||
| You know, that weird Thai sort of press forward dance that they do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I watch that, though, it's crazy with that style of kickboxing. | |
| You can get so much more loose than in mixed martial arts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Because you don't have to worry about getting taken down. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of funny, isn't it? | ||
| To really see the highest level of striking, you can't have wrestling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it has to be. | |
| Here's the rules. | ||
| Just kicking. | ||
| But, you know, that makes sense. | ||
| There's going to be a hybrid. | ||
| We're seeing it now. | ||
| The hybrid is bound to happen in mixed martial arts. | ||
| Do you think that for a young fighter who's developing, it's important to have just straight grappling matches and just straight kickboxing matches? | ||
| Well, not really. | ||
| Do you think that helps you at all? | ||
| I think it helps a little bit, but I think you definitely need to mix them because that's what's happening. | ||
| The real benefit is learning how to compete. | ||
| It's just like you doing stand-up, I'm sure. | ||
| It takes a long time to get comfortable or Jason fight. | ||
| Whatever it is that you specialize in, you have to put hours in. | ||
| It's tough if you're doing striking because maybe you're getting hit in the head for hours. | ||
| Grappling tends to be easier. | ||
| If you were competing every day, it would be so much easier. | ||
| Of course, your body wouldn't be able to withstand it, but mentally it would be so much easier than if you're competing once every six to nine months. | ||
| It's not enough to really get you going. | ||
| Yeah, well, don't most fighters have their best fights when they have a fight and then a short layoff and then another fight? | ||
| It's like you barely break camp, you relax a little bit, and then boom, you're already conditioned and you hop back in. | ||
| Actually, being consistent as a fighter is one of the most important things. | ||
| If you're just consistently training, you never really fall off. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you get back in the room, and you work on things, and you actually have a roadmap to go somewhere at the end of this little special set of camp. | ||
| Like, I lifted weights one time. | ||
| Like, alright, this is what I'm going to do. | ||
| I'm going to get stronger during this part of my camp. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then Ryan has me do stuff. | ||
| Alright, we're going to work exclusively on this ground and pound. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just focus on that thing. | ||
| It really keeps your mind in tune and learning new stuff. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not like just putting in the grind hours. | ||
| I remember I've been with camps before where you just fight. | ||
| Let's just fight. | ||
| Yeah, we talked about this when we were out to dinner the other night in Colorado when you first started training with Dan. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah, we just fought. | ||
| Me and Dan Henderson just fought every day. | ||
| I was like, in a high school gym. | ||
| I was like, alright, let's fight. | ||
| Like, oh, cool. | ||
| At first I was nervous to go training. | ||
| Like, man, I don't know, this would be stupid. | ||
| Man, I showed up to the damn wrestling room at some podunk high school. | ||
| And he was like, well, put your stuff on. | ||
| We're going to fight. | ||
| Like, kind of, you know? | ||
| I was like, alright, let's fight. | ||
| That's what he said, we're going to fight? | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| He didn't say we're going to spar? | ||
| Nah, you know, that was the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't matter. | |
| Okay, cool. | ||
| Let's fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's fight. | |
| Call it spar, call it fight. | ||
| It was so fun, bro. | ||
| And I was so happy at that time in my life. | ||
| I was like, oh, yeah, good. | ||
| No pressure. | ||
| Just fucking no... | ||
| Like some trainer with a big-ass ego. | ||
| Just a dude like... | ||
| And another dude fighting. | ||
| And then some other guys fighting. | ||
| Yeah, but how did you guys work on technique? | ||
| Yeah, we just drilled a little bit, but it was basically like fighting too. | ||
| There's never a whole lot of this. | ||
| Yeah, me and Dan had so much fun. | ||
| Oh, let's fight. | ||
| Let's fight. | ||
| It was just so fun, man. | ||
| That's got to be some serious life experience though, as far as like for just the rest of your whole MMA career. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| The amount of rounds you put in with that fucking savage swinging at you. | ||
| Yeah, he's a bunch of hard as shit. | ||
| Yeah, you got to watch out for his right hand. | ||
| Yeah, fuck yeah you do. | ||
| That dude's right hand is ridiculous. | ||
| That uppercut that he caught Fedor with, that under uppercut. | ||
| Oh, that was just like, aha, you didn't know that was coming. | ||
| Yeah, but it was hard as fuck, dude. | ||
| Imagine that angle, though. | ||
| Yeah, that was a perfect punch right there. | ||
| Perfect placement, man. | ||
| He's just so confident in that fucking right hand. | ||
| We were talking about this before we started doing this podcast. | ||
| He's just reached some new level, man. | ||
| Throwing a bungalow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Straight bungalow. | ||
| Listen, there's no secrets anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here, I'm going to show you what I'm going to do, and then I'm going to do it. | ||
| Yeah, you know, you got moved so good that it works on everybody. | ||
| You're going to do it. | ||
| Sure, yeah, there's guys. | ||
| I mean, look at Cody McKenzie and his fucking guillotine. | ||
| You know, he might never be able to beat elite-level guys, but that guy catches his fucking arm underneath your chin. | ||
| He's put 11 dudes out with that shit, and he catches guys. | ||
| He's got a weird, crazy guillotine where he goes under it, and then he squeezes it and turns it up and presses against it like this and just fucks you up, man. | ||
| And he's got that shit down laser tight. | ||
| It's funny when a guy's got one move like that. | ||
| He just can lock his shit up on you. | ||
| You know, like Husamar Paul Harris and his fucking heel hooks. | ||
| I didn't think they were... | ||
| You didn't think his heel hooks were that devastating? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| You rolled with him, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I wrestled with him. | ||
| He got me at an arm bar. | ||
| We were wrestling. | ||
| I thought I was really worried about that. | ||
| I was like, oh, here comes one of those crazy things, and I jumped out the way. | ||
| Like, I was like, I knew it was coming. | ||
| Yeah, I'm real good at that stuff. | ||
| I didn't think about it. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm flexible, so you got to catch me just right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you can't. | ||
| It's just rough to get in there. | ||
| He's going after those fucking things. | ||
| You probably just wouldn't tap. | ||
| That would be your problem. | ||
| You'd get your shit ripped apart again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| Maybe, yeah. | ||
| Like you did with Jacare? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah. | ||
| Jacare, I remember watching that scrunching up while you were not tapping. | ||
| I was watching on TV going, and I didn't even feel any pain. | ||
| I was like, what are you doing? | ||
| I was like, let go of me. | ||
| Meanwhile, I just tore your ACL, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think so, yeah. | ||
| I was like, it popped it out right there. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| But, you know, in the moment, you don't care. | ||
| You just, like, you'll do anything. | ||
| Like, you know, I feel like... | ||
| Man, it'll be no problem. | ||
| Like, you'll have to carry me out of there. | ||
| Like, I'm not stopping no matter what. | ||
| Like, no matter what, I'm just gonna keep fighting and keep fighting. | ||
| What if you got Tim Sylvia'd? | ||
| What if you're, like, when he fought Frank Mir and his forearm snapped? | ||
| Yeah, I'll fight. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Just keep fighting. | ||
| I broke my thumb before and had to turn it around backwards and kept fighting. | ||
| Yeah, I smashed my hands and just keep punching with the same hand. | ||
| Do you worry about if something like the Tim Sylvia thing happened and you got kicked on it again that your arm might even have to be amputated? | ||
| Bro, at the time, you did not care about anything. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| All you're thinking about is just win the fight. | ||
| No matter what, you're just thinking that. | ||
| Just win the fight, no matter what. | ||
| If you catch on fire in the octagon, just keep fighting until you're nothing. | ||
| That's the only way to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've had these talks before. | |
| If I'm getting killed in there, you better throw the towel in. | ||
| It's your responsibility. | ||
| I won't even care. | ||
| I'm not going to care. | ||
| It's your job to make sure I don't die. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| If I end up retarded, he's going to kill me. | ||
| If I break my neck or something, I'm like this. | ||
| I said, man, just come. | ||
| Just shoot me. | ||
| Just put a bullet in my head. | ||
| What if they shot you and then a week later they figured out some new stem cell shit that brings you back 100%? | ||
| I don't want to be a vegetable, bro. | ||
| I don't want them to remember me as the vegetable. | ||
| Maybe just for a week. | ||
| Maybe a vegetable for a week. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| That doesn't happen, dude. | ||
| Maybe you'd be a vegetable for a year. | ||
| Would you be willing to be a vegetable for a year? | ||
| If they could figure out, like, look, Jason, I know you're in there, but in one week... | ||
| There's a guaranteed year? | ||
| How are you going to guarantee... | ||
| Oh, stem cell research? | ||
| Stem cell rejuvenation surgery. | ||
| They're going to just put a needle in your spine, inject it with stem cells. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| You're going to blow like an avatar tree. | ||
| Yeah, buddy. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| Actually, I changed my mind. | ||
| I'd change my mind. | ||
| If I could plug my ponytail into your butt and become you, I want to do that. | ||
| I want to do that. | ||
| That would be dope. | ||
| I would take that. | ||
| I would take that. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| You could find out if people are completely full of shit or not the first time you fucked them. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| That's the key to Avatar living. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Find out if people are full of shit. | ||
| This hoe's dirty. | ||
| I connected in the street of wisdom. | ||
| Bitch, you ain't never been to France. | ||
| Crazy lying asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Viva Malusi! | ||
| Alright, man, let me sit down. | ||
| Sit down, buddy. | ||
| I just got amped right now. | ||
| I'm sorry, guys. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| That's what you are. | ||
| That's why you're you. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with being crazy and having bursts. | ||
| Just try to manage it. | ||
| Do your best. | ||
| Are those yours or Joe's? | ||
| Wait, did you just ask me if these are my sunglasses or Joe Rogan's sunglasses? | ||
| I'll take that as a compliment because they're mine. | ||
| Well, I'll take that as a compliment that you would take that as a compliment. | ||
| Yeah, buddy. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| They look good on you. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| So anyway, were we talking about rocket ships? | ||
| No, we're talking about you dealing with fame. | ||
| How are you dealing with fame? | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's weird for sure, man. | ||
| Freaking out? | ||
| Was it Bully Beatdown the big step, the first big step? | ||
| Yeah, but now, you know, being back down Ultimate Fighter status, that's a way different thing, man. | ||
| Because the UFC fans are like, man, they're excited fans all over the country. | ||
| They're excited. | ||
| They're super excited and up in your face. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's a whole different realm that I've gone to now. | ||
| So I'm like, oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because the Bully Beatdown people, there are people who watch TV. These are people that watch fights. | |
| Right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's really interesting to see everyone. | ||
| And I love everybody. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| The UFC got me signed autographs and stuff. | ||
| I'm doing that. | ||
| What do you call that? | ||
| The Fan Expo. | ||
| In Houston, you're doing it too? | ||
| Yeah, so it feels good to connect with people who love mixed martial arts. | ||
| I'm like, oh, yeah, it's cool. | ||
| It's definitely a different world, though, too. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| And being famous... | ||
| It was some drama. | ||
| Well, you got slowly famous though, right? | ||
| Did you feel a bump when you started fighting on CBS? When you fought Jake Shields? | ||
| Was there any bump from that? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| That was like a million people watched that, right? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people watched it. | ||
| Was it like a million? | ||
| How many people watched that on CBS? With the brawl? | ||
| Oh, the brawl thing? | ||
| Oh, that thing has been on the internet a bazillion times. | ||
| Everybody knows my name. | ||
| That was good for you in the long run. | ||
| In the long run. | ||
| It was. | ||
| But at the time, you know, everybody hates me. | ||
| I'm like, man, I wasn't even... | ||
| I was like, it wasn't even me. | ||
| I had to try to be like, I wish I could have been in on those meetings. | ||
| I would have straightened those bitches out right away. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| I would have sat all those fucks, Coker and all those dummies down. | ||
| I would have said, listen, why the fuck did he get in the octagon in the first place? | ||
| Why do you not have people watching the doors? | ||
| Why do you have so many people? | ||
| And if you're going to have a guy come in and talk shit to the other guy, how about you let the other guy have his fucking speech first and you inform him that he's going to be talking to this other guy afterwards. | ||
| And this is just marketing and trying to set up a fight. | ||
| They just didn't have control of the cage. | ||
| And then all of a sudden this one guy gets jumped by a bunch of fucking wild dogs and it's your fault? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That makes sense to me. | |
| It's completely, totally ridiculous. | ||
| It's the most one-sided perspective that they had just chosen. | ||
| Morrow looked at you with that famous picture that we talked about. | ||
| He's giving you the stink eye as you're walking by with a grin on your face in front of Gus Johnson while they're reapplying his makeup. | ||
| And you're walking by. | ||
| It is an epic picture. | ||
| I wanted to frame that picture. | ||
| It's epic. | ||
| It was the best picture I ever saw. | ||
| It's epic. | ||
| It explained my whole life right there. | ||
| Morrow is like tightening up his suit like Mayhem Miller. | ||
| Shame on you, Mayhem. | ||
| Who got that picture there? | ||
| I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| I've gotten to know Mauro. | ||
| I like Mauro Ranallo. | ||
| I hung out with him at the Muay Thai professional league thing. | ||
| He kept talking to me. | ||
| You know, they call me Mauro Wana. | ||
| That's what they call me. | ||
| Mauro Wana. | ||
| So we're going to get high. | ||
| I'm going to get high with Mauro Wana. | ||
| We're going to have a good time. | ||
| I like that dude, though. | ||
| He grew on me. | ||
| Mauro Ranallo grew on me. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| He's a fungus. | ||
| Dude, he's a fungus. | ||
| No, I like the guy. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| He's always been real cool. | ||
| Yeah, he's a funny, cool dude. | ||
| I had to beef with him a couple times, but now I feel good with him. | ||
| Well, I had to go, hey dude, and then he responded. | ||
| I was like, oh, okay, I can respect that. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| I see his perspective, and he sees my perspective. | ||
| Very rarely does he ever say anything negative about fighters. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that think that the way to get attention or the way to be snarky is to criticize fighters. | ||
| The Larry Merchant status? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I was 60 years older, I'd kick your ass! | |
| How funny is that? | ||
| That was the funniest shit ever! | ||
| He backpedaled the next day. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| He backed up immediately when he came down and talked in front of him. | ||
| He goes, by the way, I don't believe, really, that if I was 50 years old, I could kick his ass. | ||
| And he was laughing. | ||
| I actually respected him for that. | ||
| It was kind of funny because he was so ridiculous. | ||
| What if he took him down and ground a pound? | ||
| You never know, bro. | ||
| Never know. | ||
| What if he was like, Elio Gracie, even at that age, he has a clinch. | ||
| He gets the clinch in the trip. | ||
| Now you are in my world. | ||
| The ground is the ocean, and I am a shark, and most people cannot swim. | ||
| Ha, ha, ha. | ||
| Larry Merchant's badass. | ||
| Imagine if Larry Merchant just fucking arm dragged him, took his back, snapped a fucking rear naked choke on him, and just rolled forward with the hooks in, stretches him out. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And he just goes out. | ||
| He holds his own jacket lapel. | ||
| He holds his own jacket lapel. | ||
| Marcelo Garcia's that bitch. | ||
| Can Mayweather be in one boxing glove? | ||
| Just for the story. | ||
| There's a dude on the Underground that's got a screen name. | ||
| It was Art Jimerson's Glove. | ||
| I was laughing at that. | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing like... | ||
| You know, the Underground is awesome for good and for bad. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking... | ||
| Assholes and angry people and insulting people. | ||
| But there's a lot of fucking cool people on there, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I agree. | |
| That's one of the most unusual sites. | ||
| And I think a big part of one of the reasons why it's so cool is a huge percentage of the people on that site train. | ||
| You know? | ||
| On the underground, I would say like 30 or 40 percent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's old school. | |
| There's a lot of old school people there, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, man. | |
| A lot. | ||
| Fucking noobs. | ||
| I remember it was SubmissionFighting.com. | ||
| I remember that, too. | ||
| And then it became MMA.tv, and then it became MixedMartialArts.com. | ||
| I remember I lost it for a while, and then it came back. | ||
| I was like, oh, this is the old one. | ||
| What year did it start? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It started in, like, 94 or 95. I remember I had AOL. I was a member back when I was on the old UFC, when I worked for the old UFC. So that was, like, 97 or 98, I became a member. | ||
| So I've been a member there forever. | ||
| Yeah, because it was back in the day. | ||
| And that was crazy, because that's a crazy way to have a sport thrive. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It connected on the internet. | ||
| And back then, those were the dark times that at a certain point, there was no MMA on TV at all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had a satellite dish. | ||
| That's why I got a satellite dish, because that's the only way you could watch the UFC. And then you could watch Pride. | ||
| Then all of a sudden, Pride was on, too. | ||
| And I was like, oh, there's another choice. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Occasionally, you'd have some weird fight that you could buy on pay-per-view, like Hicks and Gracie versus Funaki or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, Coliseum, MMA, you know, some new thing. | ||
| Yeah, old thing, but it was old at the time. | ||
| Well, there's not many startup shows ever get on pay-per-view, right? | ||
| Like the shark fights, is that pay-per-view or is that HDNet? | ||
| That was pay-per-view. | ||
| It was. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think it's HDNet now. | ||
| I think they did a pay-per-view. | ||
| They did a pay-per-view? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It's fucking hard to sell a pay-per-view, you know? | ||
| We've got to get a lot of people knowing about it, yeah, that's for sure. | ||
| I know Fedor had one pay-per-view that did like miserable, like 10,000 fucking buys. | ||
| I don't think Pride ever did real well either. | ||
| No? | ||
| In the United States? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Because you have to garner hype for a pay-per-view event, though. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If it's nothing, it's just like, you know, you want to garner hype for it. | ||
| Like, a UFC couldn't do it unless there was hype created to, you know, you really want to watch this pay-per-view. | ||
| I want to pay the $50. | ||
| Same thing with boxing. | ||
| The UFC is so super smart for putting as much shit on TV and regular TV as they can. | ||
| Versus and Spike TV and now Fox and FX. The Ultimate Fighter is going to be on FX now, which is going to be fucking huge. | ||
| That is huge, man. | ||
| And then fights on Fox are going to be nuts, man. | ||
| Because Louie's on that channel. | ||
| I love Louie. | ||
| Well, everything's good. | ||
| That's a good channel. | ||
| They go all the way back to The Shield. | ||
| I watched three or four shows from that, for sure. | ||
| Four different series on that same channel. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| FX is badass. | ||
| So they're going to have the Ultimate Fighter on FX. They're going to revamp it, too. | ||
| They're going to figure out some new things. | ||
| And they're even going to do some live events, live on TV, like actual fights. | ||
| So it's going to be great. | ||
| Ultimate Fighter's going to be live next year, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's one. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I think it's a fantastic idea. | ||
| It's a fucking great idea. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| It's going to be wicked. | ||
| It's going to be a wicked show. | ||
| That would change the whole experience of it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| People knowing that a million people are going to watch it. | ||
| Yeah, the pressure is going to be different. | ||
| And it's going to be creepy. | ||
| A million people watching it live as it plays off. | ||
| But in there, what do you hear? | ||
| You hear just 10 people yelling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing changes. | |
| 20 people yelling. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, that's going to be badass. | ||
| So only the fights will be live, and the rest of the show will be what's building up to this? | ||
| It'll be like 24-7 in that sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that sounds good. | |
| That sounds pretty badass. | ||
| They're going to have a storyline will play out, and then the people will be warming up, waiting for the storyline to end, and boom, we go right into the fight. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Do the fans vote on who fights? | ||
| Is that how it works? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I don't think that's a good idea, though. | ||
| I like the idea of strategy, picking. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| It makes the show, yeah. | ||
| I feel like during my experience, and people are going to watch it on Spike right now, is that the fight picking and the strategy of it is a big, cool part of the show. | ||
| I think fans should be able to vote what they think is going to happen. | ||
| Vote who you think is going to win. | ||
| God damn it, why the fuck can't they bet on it? | ||
| You know, that makes me sick. | ||
| This nanny state little bitch ass government we have. | ||
| You should be able to bet on that everywhere. | ||
| When you go to the goddamn corner and you buy lottery tickets, you should be able to bet on Henderson versus Shogun. | ||
| You know, I'll take 50 bucks on Henderson. | ||
| You know, come on. | ||
| You should be able to do that. | ||
| Why can't you do that? | ||
| Why can't you do that? | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't understand really well. | ||
| We're protecting people from their own impulses and all the rest of us who can deal with it suffer. | ||
| Oh yeah, you're a social Darwinist. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You gotta go to fucking Vegas to place a bet. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I should be able to bet everywhere. | ||
| I should be able to have betting places. | ||
| As long as they're legitimate and they pay their taxes. | ||
| You know, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Are people so scared that dumb people are just going to blow all their money into the street immediately? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that. | ||
| People protest against any vices. | ||
| People protest against anything that's tempting. | ||
| They protest against strip clubs for the same reason. | ||
| They don't want vice near them. | ||
| They don't want temptation. | ||
| You know, for people that can fucking handle it and enjoy it, it's a real pain in the ass, man. | ||
| It's a real pain in the ass so you can't just bet on fights. | ||
| Because it makes it much more interesting, even with your friends. | ||
| Like, if you watch fights with your buddies, do you ever bet, like, I'll bet, I got five bucks on this dude, even if you don't even know him, you're watching a Tough Enough or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| You're like, I'll take five bucks on this skinny white dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it! | |
| You know, it makes it more exciting. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| It does, right? | ||
| You're invested. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Why the fuck isn't that legal? | ||
| That drives me nuts. | ||
| There's a lot of dumb people who have just spent all their money, and you could trick the dumb people into giving you all their money. | ||
| I'm 44 years old, and as I get older, I start thinking, I am probably going to eventually expire, and none of this shit will have changed. | ||
| It's going to be just as ridiculous as it was when I was seven, when I was a little boy. | ||
| It's going to be just as fucking stupid. | ||
| I don't know if it is. | ||
| We're involved in three different fucking wars right now. | ||
| The economy is based on unfixable bullshit that nobody understands. | ||
| The whole idea of what America is supposed to be is in decline. | ||
| Well, I know, but if you keep a positive mental attitude and try to affect change in any way you can, you're feeding into the solution and not the cause. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You can't just go, fuck, this shit is shitty. | ||
| Let me just fucking hide. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| You've got to just go head on and everybody has got to do their part and get positive with it where we're going to build shit up. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Give me some Muay Thai music. | ||
| I'm just saying, all of this deserves to get pushed upwards and not just quit. | ||
| Dude, you should do seminars and motivation and get CEOs and get them up there and explain the mayhem philosophy. | ||
| I'm just saying, yeah, I'm working on it anyway. | ||
| Do it to this Muay Thai music. | ||
| Yeah, you're damn right. | ||
| You go out with those ankle bracelets on. | ||
| Thank you for listening to Mayhem Management. | ||
| Side one, tape two. | ||
| You certainly should try to push for positivity. | ||
| You certainly should try to push things in the right direction. | ||
| But at a certain point in time, you wonder, like, man, am I going to die and pot's still going to be illegal? | ||
| No, man. | ||
| The government's still going to be corrupt. | ||
| And it's like, I'm going to leave this earth exactly the same way I came in. | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| It's a fucking mess. | ||
| It's not going to change in my lifetime. | ||
| People have made that argument forever, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they have. | |
| It's like saying that was the good old days. | ||
| It's not quick enough. | ||
| Evolution's not quick enough. | ||
| I feel like it needs to catch the fuck up. | ||
| I think social evolution needs to catch the fuck up. | ||
| The evolution of the human being and its interaction with its environment. | ||
| It needs to catch up. | ||
| We're at this fever pitch of technology, and the human animal, and it's all ridiculous bullshit that it drags along with it, is lagging behind. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| What? | ||
| I mean, so eventually we're all going to be plugged into the computers like a transcendent man, right? | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Something along those lines is going to happen. | ||
| It just seems to me that that's inevitable. | ||
| That our integration is so fucking complete as it is, without it being a part of our actual physical body, you leave your fucking cell phone at home, and it feels like you left your dick in a jar. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think it's going to be to the point where plastic surgery is going to be like taking out your eye and upgrading your eyes with the new night vision eye and stuff like that. | ||
| You're going to just start replacing parts in your body. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| That would be awesome. | ||
| But there's going to be people to clock block all that stuff too because people are afraid of science and technology. | ||
| Jesus, people. | ||
| Yeah, but if there's money to be had in it, it'll probably exist, as long as it can be patented. | ||
| The real issue is when things are awesome and people are scared of them and they're not patentable, like plants that are psychedelic plants, and that's the reason why those things are illegal. | ||
| Because if psychedelic plants were just a result of some fucking formula that someone figured out in a lab and he had a patent on it... | ||
| Well, by Jiminy Cricket, that shit would be available to prescribe for someone if they had some sort of an ailment. | ||
| Because there's a fuckload of money to be made from, you know, MDMA for post-traumatic stress disorder. | ||
| If that shit was, if somebody had created that and owned it and it hadn't been demonized, it would be for sure something that they would make a shitload of money off of. | ||
| Psychedelics are coming back in medicine now. | ||
| There's a little resurgence lately. | ||
| There is, yeah. | ||
| It's fascinating, isn't it? | ||
| Finally people are starting to accept. | ||
| The cancer patients? | ||
| Terminally ill patients given one dose of mushrooms one time, still 12 months later had significant benefits for accepting what's going on with them. | ||
| People have had cancer and taken ayahuasca and the cancer has gone into remission because they believe that it's completely altered the way they look and think about their body. | ||
| Ayahuasca? | ||
| It allows their body to naturally heal itself and to be relaxed to the point where its immune system can function correctly. | ||
| Ayahuasca is this orally active form of DMT. We talked about it so many times in this podcast, but for the people who don't know what it is, in the jungles of South America, they figured out a way to take the leaves of one plant, which contain DMT, and the vine of another plant, which contains an MAO inhibitor, which makes DMT orally active. | ||
| That book, Breaking Open the Head. | ||
| Yeah, he definitely took over as that. | ||
| Did Anthony Bourdain do that in one of his shows? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he? | |
| But he said he didn't get off. | ||
| He said it was interesting and cool, but what I've heard from people, especially from McKenna, used to talk about how when you go down to South America, they have to really trust you before they dose you up. | ||
| Like, they don't want some crazy gringos running around howling at the moon, so they give you, like, weak doses. | ||
| And he was saying that as the tourism of these ayahuasca communities become more and more prevalent, as more and more people go down to have this experience, there's a lot of people that are having bad trips, and there's a lot of people that are wary about the gringos. | ||
| So they come in, and you come in with a fucking camera crew, and you're like, hey, I want to try this ayahuasca, and you've got a ring on your thumb, you know, like poor Dane does, they're going to look at you, yeah, yeah, yeah, give them some weak-ass shit, you know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is... | ||
| Like, he doesn't get to see our God! | ||
| Get out of here! | ||
| But if you have the strong shit, I mean, everybody says when you take the strong shit that the experience is undeniable. | ||
| So it seemed to me that, like, I've heard people have DMT trips like that, too. | ||
| I met a woman on a plane back from Brazil. | ||
| That was the whole reason she was there. | ||
| Well, they'll tell you. | ||
| Oh, for ayahuasca? | ||
| A spiritual journey. | ||
| Well, DMT is legal in Brazil as well. | ||
| There's two different churches, something Universidade de Vigital and another one. | ||
| There's two different churches that use DMT as a sacrament along with using Christianity. | ||
| So they pray about Jesus and then they take ayahuasca. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking nuts, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interesting. | |
| Yeah, but it's legal somehow or another. | ||
| And it actually won in the Supreme Court. | ||
| Oh, in Brazil? | ||
| Yeah, no, in America. | ||
| Oh, in America? | ||
| In America, they brought it over from Brazil. | ||
| They're accepted in Brazil, and they're accepted at their sacrament, this ayahuasca tea. | ||
| So you can take this legit? | ||
| Under religious freedom, then. | ||
| Yes, under religious freedom, you can take it. | ||
| And there's sex, I know for sure, in New Mexico. | ||
| Yeah, but I think there's other places in America too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you just convert to this religion? | |
| Yeah, you just convert and just take some DMT and sing songs about Jesus. | ||
| That sounds like a weekend right there, bro. | ||
| Well, apparently they have really strong stuff too. | ||
| I have a friend who did it and went through the whole experience and said it's so bizarre. | ||
| He said, first of all, everyone's wearing uniforms. | ||
| They wear like the same clothes and they're wearing uniforms and they're taking this really strong DMT brew and they're singing songs about Jesus. | ||
| Instead, it's like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| It's like, it's so weird. | ||
| There's so many different messages there. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm saying, I would hate to be tripping balls and Jesus yelling at me. | ||
| Or not, man. | ||
| Maybe you get used to it and you start to like it. | ||
| And what Jesus represents to you is something like super duper positive and really loving and all knowing. | ||
| And in actually thinking about this thing, you can actually manifest those types of thoughts and ideas. | ||
| And that's why they do it. | ||
| Yeah, I can understand that. | ||
| I can understand being in a group of people, and no matter what it is, they're using Jesus as the term. | ||
| You guys are all connected. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've felt that experience before. | ||
| It's unfortunate that Bourdain didn't get a good dose. | ||
| I would love to have heard his fucking full blast-off trip story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why don't you go into it? | |
| Because of the alligators? | ||
| I don't want to go to the Amazon. | ||
| I would love to do it here. | ||
| But people are doing it here, first of all. | ||
| There's shamans who've been trained that have come to America, and I know where I could do it here. | ||
| I know a bunch of people I could do it here with. | ||
| You can do it here, especially in Hawaii. | ||
| There's a bunch of people doing it in Hawaii. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Let's do it in Van Nuys. | ||
| You can do it in places. | ||
| My point is, you don't have to go to the jungle. | ||
| I don't want to do this mystical route. | ||
| We're going to Keys. | ||
| We're going to Riverside, bro. | ||
| You know, this is one of the things I want to talk to you about before we were talking about why I like to live in the woods. | ||
| You know, why I like to live, like, way the fuck away from people. | ||
| I believe that one of the best reasons why you take ayahuasca in the jungle is that you are in this place where the energy of the plant and the experience, it all comes from this one spot. | ||
| And that one spot doesn't have a lot of Wi-Fi signals, it doesn't have pollution, it doesn't have... | ||
| This doesn't have cell phones fucking flying through your ear and radiation. | ||
| It's just nature, man. | ||
| And there's a silence that comes with real nature. | ||
| And all you hear is animals and monkeys. | ||
| You've never been deer hunting? | ||
| No, I've never been deer hunting. | ||
| You're sitting in a tree stand looking at a beautiful ridge. | ||
| Waiting. | ||
| Thinking, I'm going to kill you. | ||
| And just, you're sitting there, and it's just so beautiful. | ||
| And you're meditating. | ||
| You're zen. | ||
| You're sitting there, and the sun is coming up, and man, I can see it's super zen. | ||
| Like, you're like, and just looking for any movement or hear any sound. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's like a different level. | ||
| You're a real predator. | ||
| You're really tuning into it. | ||
| That's what I mean, yeah. | ||
| And you don't move. | ||
| You don't move. | ||
| I'm going to do ayahuasca in a hospital, because that's where life and death is created, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That would be a bad idea. | ||
| That would be like a headquarter. | ||
| You should do it in a warehouse. | ||
| You'd be like scratching the cap. | ||
| He's scratching your face off in a corner. | ||
| Like, I don't know, dude. | ||
| I read about Mark Zuckerberg, the guy who produced Facebook. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He started hunting and gathering his own food now because he wanted to take responsibility for the food he ate. | ||
| He was just going to eat vegetables. | ||
| Unless it's meat, he killed himself. | ||
| So he shot a fucking bison. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like that idea, man. | ||
| The hunter-gatherer needs is very much like the pussy needs. | ||
| If you neglect them, they'll go some weird direction. | ||
| I think he's just practicing for Facebook to collapse. | ||
| He's like, I need to figure out how to make food. | ||
| Facebook and civilization. | ||
| He's got a compound, I'm sure, by now. | ||
| That guy's got billions of dollars, doesn't he? | ||
| Some crazy-ass money. | ||
| He should have killed it with a knife. | ||
| Dude, compounds are the way to go. | ||
| If you can afford it, a big place. | ||
| That's what I said about you on the way over here, because you're on the compound. | ||
| Yeah, that's the way to do it. | ||
| I want to go deep. | ||
| I want to go deep. | ||
| High fence, compounds. | ||
| I can't wait to come to your compound, dude. | ||
| That's going to be awesome. | ||
| People hired to patrol the perimeter. | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| We're going to ride wild animals inside. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| You should have your own fire truck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can we have mountain lions? | ||
| Well, there's a thing called the fire break system that you can set up on roofs now. | ||
| And what it is, is when a certain heat is reached, they disperse this chemical all over your roof that makes the house much less vulnerable to fire. | ||
| So you've got to set things like that up. | ||
| If you're going to live in the woods, you've got to clear out the area all around your house and make sure that you've got the fucking most powerful fireproof windows available. | ||
| And set up that fire break system. | ||
| Wait, where are we talking here? | ||
| Make sure you can remote control your sprinkler system, too. | ||
| All around the house. | ||
| On top of the house. | ||
| Wow, and still you're probably fucked. | ||
| But still you're probably fucked because those embers fly through the air and they just land on shit and start cooking. | ||
| Do you have a survival kit put together? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's fun. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| I've got food stocked up, water stocked up. | ||
| I made fun of people up until two weeks ago. | ||
| Remember in San Diego, Orange County, that blackout? | ||
| Blackout happened. | ||
| I realized I got a three and a half month old baby at home, a four year old, my wife, and I am completely unprepared. | ||
| I have no food. | ||
| I have no way to keep anything cold. | ||
| I have no way to heat anything up. | ||
| Then I drove down the hill and it's dark where I live in Dana Point. | ||
| It's totally dark. | ||
| Gas stations don't work. | ||
| Then I'm thinking, wait a minute. | ||
| I don't I don't get that good of mileage on my car. | ||
| How quick till I run out of gas? | ||
| And you can't pump any gas. | ||
| I think it would take four or five days for things just to go completely crazy. | ||
| Can you store gas at your house? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| In your trash can? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Would you set up a giant ass tank and have your own gas at your house? | ||
| Yeah, that's legit. | ||
| You could do it. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| I'm sure you're allowed to. | ||
| I don't think you're allowed to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, time out. | |
| You're not allowed to have a bunch of gas in your backyard? | ||
| No. | ||
| If you have a garage, what you can do is you can keep just that thing out. | ||
| If you had your own gas station in your house, you could fuel up. | ||
| You could get a gas tank that's set up in your backyard. | ||
| We have farmers do it. | ||
| You're saying it's illegal? | ||
| I think if you're a farmer, you probably can do it because that's your business. | ||
| But I don't think you can have a gas station on your lawn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| It's zoned. | ||
| It's probably zoned. | ||
| Just have a bicycle. | ||
| That would be the dopest shit ever. | ||
| If you had your own gas station, you would think that, like Jay Leno, maybe that you could do. | ||
| You could buy a shitty gas station and just use it for your own personal gas. | ||
| Nah, bro. | ||
| Gas stations go under left and right. | ||
| Maybe Jay Leno does have a thing on his house, and I'm imagining it. | ||
| Actually, am I making that up? | ||
| Do gas stations ever go under? | ||
| Gas stations seem to be open all the time. | ||
| When was the last time a gas station went over? | ||
| I guess they do. | ||
| Some of them go out of business. | ||
| I'll tell you when. | ||
| When? | ||
| Downtown Boston, there's no gas station. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| The two that were there, closed. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I know, because we ran out of gas. | ||
| We ran out of gas on the way somewhere, and I made us late. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I have a little bit left in the car. | ||
| We drove all around. | ||
| You know, it's like driving downtown Boston. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So we finally stopped in. | ||
| We went to the fire station and asked for gas. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| I had to hire a driver. | ||
| It cost me $50 to drive me. | ||
| It took probably a 10-minute drive from where we stayed in Boston. | ||
| To go get some gas and go back to your car. | ||
| Yeah, Boston's a weird place with zoning and shit, too. | ||
| They really prize their historical relevance, so you've got to be real careful where you build things. | ||
| It's a trip, though. | ||
| When you drive down, you see those signs on some of the buildings built in 1650. Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Look at Beacon Hill. | ||
| That whole neighborhood was from, what, 1700s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, isn't that nuts? | ||
| That is nuts, bro. | ||
| Walking around there, I felt like I was back in time a bunch of times. | ||
| Beacon Hill's weird, too, because isn't a lot of it like apartments? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They're old-ass buildings. | ||
| Big buildings that are like houses. | ||
| They're sort of apartments for houses. | ||
| Yeah, row houses connected to each other, and they're worth a shitload of money. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Two, three, four, five million dollars. | ||
| Yeah, and there's no backyard. | ||
| You get nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| No backyard. | ||
| Just a house jammed right next to another house. | ||
| Looks cool, though. | ||
| Looks cool. | ||
| And across the street, there's a park. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I ran through that all the time. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Boston Commons? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Great city. | ||
| Yeah, it was amazing. | ||
| I love that city, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's amazing. | |
| This is really awesome. | ||
| Like, you know, just to see all that old stuff, you were just like shocked. | ||
| We had the ultimate Boston experience. | ||
| St. Paddy's Day dropkick Murphy's. | ||
|
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|
It couldn't get anymore, but on St. Paddy's Day, it was crazy. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm going to England, to Birmingham. | ||
| We're going for the UFC in November, and I think I'm going to take a trip to Stonehenge. | ||
| I'm going to go check that shit out. | ||
| I want to see some real old monuments. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that anyway? | ||
| No one even got it now. | ||
| They believe it's some sort of a calendar. | ||
| They don't know exactly who built it. | ||
| You know, it's a fascinating little piece of sculpture. | ||
| What if it was just some caveman who was like, whatever. | ||
| Let's put this up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, but it is weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a weird structure. | ||
|
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|
Is there some strange thing? | |
| How do they get that up there? | ||
| They don't know, but probably levers. | ||
| Maybe there was a bunch of trees over there before. | ||
| It was probably a big mountain and they just carved it out of the mountain. | ||
| It looks like they carried it. | ||
| There's a crazy carving into the mountains of a horse. | ||
| You ever seen that? | ||
| It's like this white carving. | ||
| I don't know how the fuck they did it, but it's carving. | ||
| They don't even know who did it. | ||
| Just thousands of years old. | ||
| Wait, where's that? | ||
| In England? | ||
| Yeah, in England. | ||
| There's stuff like that that they sort of found, and no one remembers how it got there. | ||
| Stonehenge is a perfect example. | ||
| They found it. | ||
| And by the time they found it, when modern times people found it, they were like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| And everybody's like, that? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| We did this so long ago. | ||
| We weren't here for years. | ||
| Been around for so long. | ||
| And then they have crop circles all over the place down there, too. | ||
| Such a freaky fucking little place. | ||
| What do you mean crop circles? | ||
| Crop circles. | ||
| You ever seen crop circles? | ||
| Those designs that show up in wheat fields? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, they did that back in the day? | ||
| Yeah, and it's the ultimate... | ||
| What they are, for sure, a lot of them are hoaxes. | ||
| A huge percentage. | ||
| Yeah, I thought the kids did that. | ||
| And when I say hoaxes, that doesn't mean the rest of them were made by aliens. | ||
| But I think... | ||
| There's some crazy technology involved in it, and I don't know if we have a full assessment and accounting of all the technology that the government or that anyone at the highest level of science really possesses right now. | ||
| I don't necessarily know, especially when it comes to military intelligence. | ||
| And I think we've always had a lot of secrets in this country, and it's very likely that there's things that can produce crop circles, like they can shoot down a fucking laser beam on a certain patch of earth and create a pattern in the sand or in the wheat fields. | ||
| I don't think that's beyond the realm of possibility. | ||
| If you could have nuclear weapons, if you could have international instant communication via cell phone networks and data plans where you could send photographs and videos to another person on the other side of the fucking world almost instantaneously, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility to think that you could somehow or another imprint something from a satellite, from something flying overhead. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
|
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|
Because it's pretty. | |
| You know what? | ||
| It might be simply someone figured out how to do it and they wanted to implement whether or not they could. | ||
| And then once they had it, they just keep fucking with people and making patterns. | ||
| If you could make up all kinds of crazy shit, why would my thing be like, hey, I want to push down the crops? | ||
| Well, that's a good question. | ||
| Why would I waste my talents on that? | ||
| If I was that smart, I would do something way cooler and make way more money. | ||
| You say that, but listen, some of them are hoaxes, and some of them are beautiful. | ||
| These hoaxes are amazing. | ||
| I mean, when I say hoaxes, we know, I mean, they're human-created works of art, not a mystery whatsoever. | ||
| And these human-created works of art, they've done, like these guys called the Circle Makers, they've got a website called circlemakers.org. | ||
| Yeah, they just crushed down Yeah, well, they have boards, and they measure things, and they do these dope-ass designs. | ||
| But what they've done is question and shown that you can make these crop circles on your own. | ||
| But some of them are weird, man. | ||
| Some of them, they show up in an hour. | ||
| You have to believe these people's reports, which is sketchy at best, of course. | ||
| But you're dealing with these people that have no reason to lie, these farmers. | ||
| They fly over an area, and then they come back an hour later, and there's something that's three football fields long, and it's got... | ||
|
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|
Yeah, you said the first sentence was the most important thing. | |
| Like, wait, you're selling tickets to see this at your farm? | ||
| Yeah, this guy is a farmer. | ||
| He gets no attention whatsoever. | ||
| Hey guys, look at this crop circle. | ||
| Oh my god, it's a farmer who has a crop circle. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Listen, some of them for sure, definitely no question at all. | ||
| But some of them are gigantic, and most certainly would have taken enough time that people would have noticed. | ||
| They've hired people to do them for advertisers, and it's very time-consuming. | ||
| It's extraordinarily time-consuming. | ||
| It's not something you can't bang off. | ||
| You can't bang off these giant things inside of an hour or whatever the fuck these people are saying. | ||
| So if they're telling the truth, then it could possibly be something else. | ||
| It doesn't necessarily have to be just always people flattening boards out. | ||
| And I know there's a lot of other science behind it, in quote science, because they've detected there's growth nodes and areas where the stems of the plant have actually exploded like it had been microwaved. | ||
| And then instead of just being bent over, these things have had some almost boiled with energy. | ||
| You're saying there are symptoms, like sometimes it does that? | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't say symptoms, I would say evidence that points to the fact that this is all shit. | ||
| By the way, hold on, this is all shit that I've read on the internet, so I have no idea how much of this is 100% legit. | ||
| But the idea is that what people question about the crop circles, the so-called crop circle... | ||
| Experts and aficionados, one of the things they point to is the fact that there's an actual change in the chemical structure of the plant once it's been turned into this circle. | ||
| That something has happened to it and it's been heated up. | ||
| Like I said, it could be some sort of technology. | ||
| Look, say if you wanted to etch something with lasers onto a piece of metal. | ||
| You could program a design into a computer and that computer could etch something. | ||
| And if you had a laser big enough and powerful enough, it could be as big as my Doom poster. | ||
| You could make some design with a laser in that, just using a computer. | ||
| Why couldn't you do that from a satellite down on some fucking wheat field? | ||
| Of course you could. | ||
| It would be just as possible, I think. | ||
| If you've got the potential to do it at close range, and then we know there's a lot of shit that we do at long range, and we also know that lasers, you know, a powerful laser doesn't really lose its power over a long distance, right? | ||
| Isn't that the case? | ||
| Like, these laser things, one of the things that's dangerous about those laser pens, those really The green ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can point them at fucking planes and they literally will hit the cockpit of planes. | ||
| Like four or five miles. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And I wonder if the case could be made that, you know, if you could do that with a laser. | ||
| Maybe you could do that with something that mimics a laser, but in some way or another is like an etcher, a manipulator. | ||
| Or Star Wars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| I mean, who... | ||
| At a certain point in time, you gotta look at things that we absolutely know people have done. | ||
| There's a goddamn space station up there, and they shoot rockets filled with people, and they go up and dock with this thing, and everybody's hanging out there and partying in the space. | ||
| We know that's real. | ||
| As bizarre as that is, shooting people in giant metal tubes propelled by fire up into the sky to dock with some floating metal fucking machine that's up there. | ||
| So you think the government has just, like, protected us from ourselves? | ||
| Like, we don't want you to know about this awesome crop circle machine? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think there's a lot of things that they do on the sneak tip, like drones, and, you know, there's bugs that look like, you know, they look like bugs, but they're spy cameras, and drones that are completely unmanned. | ||
| Like Minority Report... | ||
| Yeah, oh dude, they've got some legit shit that looks like little bugs and it flies around and it can fly to Iraq. | ||
| They've got some incredible technology. | ||
| And you would think that something like this, like something that you could make a crop circle with, you could also use to do all kinds of crazy shit with. | ||
| I mean, if there's sort of a technology that can manipulate patterns in wheat fields, maybe there's certain things that you could do where it just barbecues someone out of the fucking sky. | ||
| Maybe crop circles are level one. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Or it's just practicing where it hits, like the accuracy, like that's the market mix. | ||
| It's like from Gears of War, part one. | ||
| Could you imagine if they figure out a way to have a satellite that flies over a city, and any time you want something done, it just zooms in like Google Earth, has an instant close-up view of you, and you disappear. | ||
| Just boom! | ||
| Eventually we'll have the technology for that. | ||
| Sizzle, pop, big freighter, and that's it. | ||
| No person. | ||
| Probably close. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| Probably close. | ||
| And the accuracy of establishing something like that. | ||
| What better way to demonstrate the accuracy than make a fucking design in a wheat field? | ||
| Say, look, we can do this. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're connecting those things? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| That's a far-reaching connection, though. | ||
| So is everything that we do every day of the week. | ||
| So is the internet. | ||
| So is space travel. | ||
| Alright, so you're discounting this though. | ||
| Everybody and their fucking brother on the planet is a reporter now. | ||
| That's why the Arab Spring sprung up. | ||
| Guess why? | ||
| Everybody's twittering each other about how let's fuck this regime. | ||
| Everyone's connected now. | ||
| So now we would know. | ||
| If somebody had a technology to do something and had done it, somebody would know. | ||
| Unless that technology was created at Area 51. And if that was the case, they have a long-seated history of only allowing people in there that absolutely fucking know how to keep a secret. | ||
| Because there's a lot of shit that's gone down at Area 51 and very few credible reports of any of it. | ||
| Dr. Robert Lazar might be the only one, and he's been shown to probably be a liar. | ||
|
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The problem is people talk. | |
| I'll just give you an example. | ||
| Area 51. Dude, there's thousands of people over decades, decades have worked at Area 51 developing secret technology. | ||
| Why do they all keep it secret? | ||
| Somebody would have wanted it. | ||
| Because they're patriots. | ||
| Because they believe in this country. | ||
| Because they work for the military. | ||
| Because that's a part of their job. | ||
| They're a part of a big thing. | ||
| When you're a part of developing military weapons, secret military weapons, there's a certain amount of pride a lot of those guys take in the fact that they are developing the very best weapons and they're developing them in secret in these fucking bunkers that are built into the side of mountains. | ||
| Yeah, but eventually you've got to show the weapon, though. | ||
| Yes, and they have. | ||
| That's where the fucking stealth bomber came from. | ||
| It's all directly from Area 51. There's a lot of nutty shit that they worked on for years. | ||
| But this whole Area 51, they didn't even admit it existed until, I believe it was the 90s, when they wanted to spread the amount of land that they controlled and was top secret. | ||
| Because too many people were getting close and they were taking videos. | ||
| Taking videos of what looks like UFOs. | ||
| What looks like, most likely, unmanned drones. | ||
| Flying through the night air and dancing and doing shit that we could never do in a fucking airplane. | ||
| Once you left it together. | ||
|
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|
Fuck yeah. | |
| Just look at JFK. A lot of video of that shit. | ||
| A lot of video. | ||
| I know, but once they start using it though, it makes the news. | ||
| But dude, they had to say that it existed in order to get this extra land. | ||
| Before that, they denied its existence. | ||
| There was no satellite Google Earth back then. | ||
| So you couldn't say, show me what's going on in the Nevada desert. | ||
| And then boom, you tune into, it's like a couple hours outside of Vegas, there's this crazy fucking place called Groom Lake. | ||
| And this is like a dried up lake bed, and the government is fucking testing UFOs out there. | ||
| Whatever UFO is. | ||
| Stealth bomber, to me, I've seen them in real life. | ||
| At Edwards Air Force Base, we were filming Fear Factor out there. | ||
| That's a fucking UFO, man. | ||
| This black wing thing flying over your head. | ||
| That's like right out of Star Wars. | ||
| Is it loud at all? | ||
| It was like any regular jet. | ||
| It wasn't unusually loud. | ||
| It was far enough away. | ||
| It wasn't right over my head where it was coming in low. | ||
| We were in Palmdale. | ||
| Edwards Air Force Base is a little bit outside of it. | ||
| But you did get to see them regularly. | ||
| What makes a UFO awesome is that it flies super fast from the middle of nowhere. | ||
| It just stops. | ||
| What makes you go, that's a UFO. It's not flying and it sounds like a jet. | ||
| It's like the hummingbird shit. | ||
| Yeah, it just zips everywhere. | ||
| And, you know, I always see the lights in the sky stuff. | ||
| And what? | ||
| We can't figure it out. | ||
| But, like, I feel like we can't figure it out right now. | ||
| If somebody doesn't want us to know, they're really not going to let us know. | ||
| I don't know what's a... | ||
| I know you're really pumped on fucking Area 51. But I'm like... | ||
| Well, if we can't know, if they're going to tell us, fuck you, what can we really say? | ||
| They're in charge. | ||
| It's a sexy idea. | ||
| It's something that's fun to just keep around. | ||
| The idea of UFOs and aliens. | ||
|
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Dude, according to Dr. Robert Lazar, they tried to back-engineer the fucking craft, and they couldn't, man. | |
| We don't have that element on Earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It establishes beyond a reasonable doubt it's from another planet. | |
| And their dicks get hard with geek knowledge. | ||
| They just want it to be an alien. | ||
| They want it to be alien. | ||
| Yeah, I don't get it though. | ||
| I'm just like, alright, cool. | ||
| If it's an alien, I can't wait. | ||
| Because I want to play with them. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I want to see these guys. | ||
| It's just as fascinating to me when something's man-made. | ||
| That's just as fascinating. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I think that's more awesome. | ||
| Because to me, the fact that... | ||
| Scientists stood on top of scientists' shoulders for generations. | ||
| It's shit I can't even understand. | ||
| They just stood on top of each other's shoulders for generations, read all this geeky stuff that I don't have the chance to read or didn't let myself read, and then built this or cured a disease. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a beautiful thing to me. | ||
| That's the most important thing in society. | ||
| We should be really rewarding that because that's what's going to push us forward. | ||
| That's what... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly, Red Band. | ||
| I gotta do my Y crew. | ||
| That's how much I love technology. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Technology's awesome. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Well, that was hard to sell you on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sorry, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I had to talk you up. | ||
| What kind of crazy shit are you incorporating into training now? | ||
| Because I know you're always at the front of the line when it comes to weird technology. | ||
| After every UFC, we come back with a couple new drills for next week. | ||
| Like, what's good? | ||
| What's high in the streets? | ||
| Front kicks to the face. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Or certain positions. | ||
| Someone does something, you go, wait a minute, that's there all the time. | ||
| And then you develop drills based around that. | ||
| Our whole ground and pound stuff started like that. | ||
| Science! | ||
| Do you know the baby arm? | ||
| I got one in my pants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| A baby arm. | ||
| That's the weirdest man for a move ever. | ||
| Tim Bosch fought this past weekend. | ||
| He fought Nick Ring and he had him in this position. | ||
| There's a position when you're in side control when you're facing the guy's legs and you got his leg or his arm wrapped up in between your legs. | ||
| You know that mounted crucifix that everybody likes to do? | ||
| Yeah, but you sit We sit sideways. | ||
| We sit sideways and you face towards his legs and you grab his arm. | ||
| His arm is in between your legs like a giant dick. | ||
| You call it the baby arm. | ||
| You just grab his wrist and you can break his arm. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| It's right there on everybody. | ||
| And nobody does it. | ||
| They just hold on to the arm. | ||
| But if you just grab that wrist, you can completely control it and you can just snap his elbow. | ||
| There's a tremendous amount of force in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy leverage. | ||
| I'll show it to you. | ||
| I wanted to show Bosch after his fight. | ||
| It's a John Jack Machado move. | ||
| He invented it. | ||
| Old school. | ||
| Yeah, it's old school. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| He didn't call it the baby arm. | ||
| He didn't call it the baby arm. | ||
| That's Eddie Bravo named the baby arm. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| John Jack's like, here from here to here. | ||
| I have his wrist. | ||
| This is an on bar right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see that? | |
| Right there. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| This is a hard mark. | ||
| The Brazilians have the coolest accents of all time. | ||
| I feel like the new up-and-coming kids, I feel like, are not getting the real experience of having a Brazilian coach with a funny accent. | ||
| Who barely speaks English. | ||
| Yeah, it's the best. | ||
| Look, look, look, look for me. | ||
| Look for me here. | ||
| This position, right here. | ||
| No good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No good. | |
| His arm, his arm no good. | ||
| Push me away. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No that. | ||
| No that. | ||
| Okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| Because I had my guy too. | ||
| I had my old school Jacare, my freaking coach from back in the day. | ||
| He gave me a gi and I was like, damn. | ||
| It was so old and crusty. | ||
| I was like, damn, coach, man. | ||
| This gi is real nasty. | ||
| He's like, Jason, listen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you get a horse for a present, you don't watch his teeth. | |
| And I was like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the hell does that mean? | |
| I don't even understand. | ||
| Oh, you get a gift horse. | ||
| You don't look at it in the mouth. | ||
| Oh, I get it. | ||
| You don't watch his teeth. | ||
| I was like, what do you mean I don't watch his teeth? | ||
| I took classes at Carlson Gracie's, and Carlson didn't even speak English at all. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| He didn't even try. | ||
| He would talk in Portuguese, and then Sergio Cohen, a dude who barely spoke English, would then give you your instruction. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| That's even better. | ||
| Or he would talk to John Iwano, and John Iwano speaks perfect English. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I want to just get a dude to translate all my coaching. | ||
| I'll just be talking gibberish. | ||
| Just yelling and screaming. | ||
| Then Ryan will be like, he wants you to go front headlocks right now. | ||
| Do you get frustrated when you hear certain dudes coaching? | ||
| Do you get frustrated? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is it like comedians? | ||
| Like judge other comedians? | ||
| Like, oh God, you went there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd like to say that didn't happen, but probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Listen, bro. | ||
| Do it for your family. | ||
| Yeah, we hate on people all the time, Ryan. | ||
| Tell the truth. | ||
| If a guy has stupid coaching, we do make fun of him, don't we? | ||
| Yeah, but that being said, I've said some dumb stuff, too. | ||
| You know who my favorite guys are to listen to? | ||
| My favorite guys to listen to are Rampage's coaches, the English dudes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Get fired up! | ||
| They fucking yell and scream, and they do it in their accent. | ||
| Are those Biswings coaches? | ||
| I hope. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Are they the same guys? | ||
| Are they the Wolfslayer guys? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You've got to close the range! | |
| They have such an awesome accent. | ||
| The English accent is one of my favorite all-time accents. | ||
| It is pretty funny. | ||
| That's why we use it for infomercials. | ||
| Whenever you're trying to sell something important, they use the English accent because the English accent is like fucking legit, man. | ||
| This is some serious fly-fishing line, I'm telling you. | ||
| The finest fly-fishing line available. | ||
| This is the best gold investment that I'll ever make. | ||
| The highest quality brass hooks. | ||
| In their defense, though, maybe that was a cue for something. | ||
| Maybe that they rehearsed something in the gym. | ||
| Close the distance means... | ||
| Yeah, do this. | ||
| Going to a phrase. | ||
| Baby arm. | ||
| Baby arm. | ||
| And we do that sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, of course. | |
| Who's to say? | ||
| Maybe it was spot on. | ||
| Well, Rampage is so fucking talented physically, but everyone knows what he's going to do. | ||
| I mean, if he gets you, you're fucked. | ||
| If he gets a hold of you, he puts those hands on you. | ||
| He can put out anybody. | ||
| Rampage can put out anybody. | ||
| If you fuck up and you let him get into his game and get a hold of you, you're done. | ||
| But Jon Jones, man, he figured out how to definitely not let Rampage fight his game. | ||
| I mean, that's what it was. | ||
| It was Rampage fighting Jon Jones' game. | ||
| He had a perfect fucking game plan for his body and Rampage's style. | ||
| It was amazing to watch, wasn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of mercy. | |
| Beautiful fight. | ||
| Definitely, yeah. | ||
| Does that inspire the fuck out of you when you see shit like that? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| And I felt like Jon Jones did a great job of his game plan and sticking to it. | ||
| And then he took Rampage out of his game plan and didn't let Rampage do what he was good at. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It was cool to watch that, man. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Amazing that he's been able to do that so quick. | ||
| It's fun to watch his evolution. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| Who the fuck has ever gotten that good that quick? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Ah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that makes sense. | ||
| I mean, Stefan Bonner was, what, was that two years ago or something like that? | ||
| Was it even? | ||
| Was it even two years ago? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just guessing. | ||
| I'm not going to go to Search Shardog and check it out. | ||
| I think he started fighting in 2008. Yeah, and when did he get to the UFC? In 2009. It was like nine months later. | ||
| He had like six fights, but they were fought really close to one another. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's amazing. | |
| It's amazing when you watch, every now and then there's just some dude who come along in any sport where you just go, whoa, what the fuck? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Someone all of a sudden just jumps way ahead of the line. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's like a genetic mutation. | ||
| Yeah, when he beat up Shogun dude, that was literally like, if you were from another planet, okay, and you came in and you were watching these species, you would say, oh, this is interspecies combat. | ||
| This is one species going up against another species. | ||
| Oh, this Shogun species, this really can't fuck with this other thing. | ||
| Why is he doing that? | ||
| That's sort of like a grasshopper fucking with a praying mantis. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, we're like two different things. | ||
| You know, I'm looking at Shogun, the way he throws his punches, the way he throws his kicks. | ||
| It's a guy who's got an arm that goes this long. | ||
| But when you've got an arm that goes way the fuck across the room and it's attached to a body that's spent a lifetime learning how to manipulate other people's bodies and control them and throw them around in wrestling, it's literally like two different species. | ||
| You know? | ||
| With his fucking giant 84-inch wingspan. | ||
| Yeah, it is like two different things. | ||
| You go like, well, there's this one thing. | ||
| I guess they could breed and they could have a child, but really they're different. | ||
| So you're proposing the Shogun and Jon Jones' bone? | ||
| No, I'm proposing that if we mixed up a female Shogun... | ||
| What do you think of this Chaz Bono picture where she's walking around with no shirt on? | ||
| This is what I say. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
| Where's that? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| She walks around outside with no shirt on. | ||
| It's hot out. | ||
| So she's got these giant scars where she used to have breasts. | ||
| So she had her breast meat removed. | ||
| And now she's just flat-chested but with a woman's nipple. | ||
| But she's like belly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think about Nancy Grace's nipple? | |
| That's all I was thinking about the entire time we were talking about this. | ||
| I love how Nancy Grace's boobs stole the tranny's thunder. | ||
| Like, what the hell? | ||
| I don't even know what the big deal is. | ||
| I don't think of it as a tranny. | ||
| When it's a girl, the term becomes a guy. | ||
| So is she going to grow up? | ||
| I mean, is she... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| You see the picture? | ||
| She's walking around with no shirt on. | ||
| That's not even worth looking at. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| She's a guy. | ||
| She's got a beard now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a dude. | |
| Yeah, it's a dude. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think transgender people get a bad rap. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| I think, you know, do whatever you want to do, man. | ||
| As long as that makes you happy, if that really does. | ||
| However, I think it's strange, the nipple thing. | ||
| That's a legit news source. | ||
| You would never be able to show a photo of a woman's nipple before. | ||
| But because she has committed to the life of a man, now you can see her nipple. | ||
| That is what I found fascinating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think in America, in general, people just need to get over sex anyway. | ||
| I feel like you make it this scary, dirty thing. | ||
| Show some titties on TV. Who cares? | ||
| It's not going to send society crashing down and burning. | ||
| I think people are worried about people going nutty. | ||
| They're worried about people not doing their share, not doing work, not helping build up society. | ||
| And they think that one of the ways to make sure and ensure that society keeps moving at a good pace is to control the sex. | ||
| What? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Control the freak, animal, instinct, and people. | ||
| Control the violence and control the sex. | ||
| Because those are the things that you're most terrified about. | ||
| When the barbarians storm the gates, you're not worried that they're going to fucking take your basketball. | ||
| No, they're worried that you're going to fuck your women and take your money. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Control. | |
| They're trying to control sex and control violence. | ||
| Those are two things that people try to control when they want to keep society in order. | ||
| They try to control sex and control violence. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I never thought about it that way. | ||
| Well, it's normal for people to want, like, oh, look at these sluts and these whores. | ||
| I'm going to want this strip club near me. | ||
| You have a whorehouse in your town? | ||
| What? | ||
| There's a natural inclination. | ||
| Why do you care if you're not fucking these whores? | ||
| Why do you care? | ||
| Well, because you don't want people near you that are fucking these whores. | ||
| You don't want people in your neighborhood that want to fuck these whores. | ||
| Oh, yeah, but it's happening, right? | ||
| Yeah, but it's a natural inclination for people to try to shy away from the most frightening of our instincts. | ||
| Our desire to want to fuck and our desire to want to kill. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| I guess you're right. | ||
| I never really considered it. | ||
| Society for a young man like you is like, you know, might as well be Vegas all day. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But for society to work? | ||
| In order for people to show up at the Wonder Bread factory? | ||
| You know? | ||
| In order for society to move? | ||
| You can't be giving out hand jobs at Starbucks. | ||
| I get what you're saying. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, when you look at countries that are more liberal, I wonder what their output is, their gross domestic output, or how well it works. | ||
| But in Japan, that's just like, yeah, you go to Starbucks, get handy, almost. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's like the society has accepted, like, in the sports pages, there's like... | ||
| Naked chicks. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can go and just get service somewhere in Japan? | ||
| Yeah, if you're Japanese, yeah. | ||
| I think you could just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Easy? | |
| Yeah, pretty easy, right? | ||
| There's the Soakland places. | ||
| Yeah, you can go get jacked on. | ||
| And it's like normal. | ||
| The guys talk about it. | ||
| You can do this in L.A. too. | ||
| Any massage parlor. | ||
| Yeah, but here it's so demonized. | ||
| They're like, ah, yeah, sometimes dudes do that. | ||
| In Sydney, brothels are legal. | ||
| Are they as productive? | ||
| You say the Japanese are more productive than Americans? | ||
| Hell yeah, man. | ||
| And yet they can still get jerked off places. | ||
| So that throws my theory to the toilet. | ||
| Yeah, it totally crushes your theory. | ||
| That's why I was thinking, what are you talking about? | ||
| In order to be creative? | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| I think it's just societal. | ||
| It's societal pressures. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Completely? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It might be, but why does Japan really love America? | ||
| Why do so many Japanese... | ||
| Well, a lot of Americans really love Japan as well. | ||
| I don't think they do, bro. | ||
| But they do imitate a lot of their music. | ||
| Yeah, it's not, dude. | ||
| There's a lot of people that really get into American music over there. | ||
| That's because their music sucks so bad. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you look at any country, most countries' music, it's not as good as the United States. | ||
| I disagree, dude. | ||
| Yeah, Japan has its own... | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I just talked to somebody the other day that went to Japan probably like 10 times, and they were telling me this. | ||
| That's why I brought it up. | ||
| Every time they go there, it's always American music or their version of it. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| I'm saying, okay, so your country is pretty badass and makes good music and whatever, but then another country whose budget is way fucking bigger and they got crazier acts and whatever and crazier video effects, of course you're going to watch some of that. | ||
| You're not going to totally be, fuck America. | ||
| What I was actually trying to get at, the reason why I was saying it, is because I was wondering what effect their discipline and the fact that they can get laid and just get serviced. | ||
| I wonder what that has effect on their creativity, like the art they produce, the music that they make. | ||
| And I was like, well, why do they like American music so much? | ||
| What is their music like? | ||
| Do they have really good music in Japan? | ||
| Is Japan a dope-ass... | ||
| Is that J-pop style? | ||
| No, it's J-pop. | ||
| Yeah, there's different styles of music. | ||
| Like pop music. | ||
| But name one Japanese artist right now. | ||
| Bro, I'm not Japanese, dude. | ||
| I know, I know, but you asked them, name one American artist, they know 50. That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Because we're the dominant culture in the world. | ||
| Yeah, they're a small island. | ||
| Yeah, they're a small island. | ||
| Yeah, but you shouldn't even be able to know one. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Because you don't listen to Japanese music. | ||
| You don't understand the Japanese language. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So far different. | ||
| I know one singer. | ||
| Sexyama. | ||
| Sexyama was the singer. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't know, though. | ||
| It's also a different language. | ||
| I mean, we're not really interested. | ||
| And everybody in Japan speaks English a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Everybody speaks a little bit of English. | ||
| Everyone in Japan? | ||
| Just about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| A lot of people won't do it because they feel embarrassed about it, but everyone learns it in school to an extent. | ||
| Well, maybe Japan, because it's not trying to take over the world anymore, maybe they've spent more time sort of evolving as a culture and just progressing business-wise and discipline-wise. | ||
| No, but I think for years and years it's been just like that and people are very disciplined. | ||
| It's been like that. | ||
| There's been a culture. | ||
| It's in their culture. | ||
| I probably respect that whole geisha thing. | ||
| Yeah, geisha before that even. | ||
| And people had a normal, that was their thing. | ||
| Oh, I got a concubine. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| That whole society is based on... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Conforming. | |
| Everyone dresses in the same black suits. | ||
| They do the same things. | ||
| They follow the same path. | ||
| Stepping outside is really frowned upon. | ||
| Yeah, really frowned upon. | ||
| You've got to be part of the team. | ||
| Like, the team is smart. | ||
| Here's the rules. | ||
| Do the rules. | ||
| Isn't that fascinating? | ||
| Yeah, it's fascinating. | ||
| I think it's great. | ||
| I think people could adapt some of those cultural things from Japan and bring it here to America. | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| No, it's very difficult. | ||
| It's embedded over generations and generations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, how do you think they wound up doing that? | ||
| That's what I've always been fascinated by. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| It was such a small amount of area and so many people living in it. | ||
| So they had to be more disciplined? | ||
| Eventually, you got that way. | ||
| You became that way. | ||
| You know, you do the right, even at McDonald's, man, like they do the right job because that's the right thing to do. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| There's stupid people there that they can't help it. | ||
| They're dumb, but they try to do their job as best as they can, you know, and I feel like we could bring that to America. | ||
| Just do your job like as best you can, whatever your job is. | ||
| Do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Awesome. | |
| Like just try your hardest, you know? | ||
| And I mean, really, that's what you're trying to do. | ||
| That's what you should be trying to do. | ||
| But I think in America, people are like, everyone owes me something. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I should get paid more. | ||
| No, you shouldn't. | ||
| You should just work. | ||
| You should just do what you have to do and do it awesome because it's your job. | ||
| Jason Mayhem Miller, corporate employer. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| This is the pep speech of the week, boys. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We took away your life insurance, but I've got words of wisdom. | |
| Right? | ||
| You should just fucking work. | ||
| Hard! | ||
| If you've got to do it, do it hard. | ||
| Do it as best you can. | ||
| I think you've got to go way further back. | ||
| Look at Gun, Germs, and Steel. | ||
| We talk about this book all the time. | ||
| It's the best book ever. | ||
| What geographic resources did you have and how did that affect how your culture develops? | ||
| The Maori people are the best. | ||
| In New Zealand, they fought all the time because they had lots of resources. | ||
| You could afford to have a priest, a teacher, whatever. | ||
| As soon as a group of those Maori people moved to an island 400 miles south, everyone had to spend all day gathering food. | ||
| They had to work together and you couldn't fight. | ||
| So they turned almost like this into a peaceful culture. | ||
| Sure enough, several hundred years later, the Maori come, they find them, what do they do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kill all of them. | |
| They're like the same people. | ||
| They're basically cousins, but they just hacked them up. | ||
| But where the island they went to had very few resources. | ||
| They had to spend all day gathering food to eat. | ||
| If I have a bunch of food in my house and I can listen to him be a priest and I can go to a doctor, we can have warriors, we can have teachers, all these specializations. | ||
| Change of society based on natural resources. | ||
| Or are there large grains that you could make? | ||
| Did you have domesticated animals? | ||
| Look at all that stuff started in a few regions. | ||
| Go try to domesticate a giraffe. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| Do it with a goat. | ||
| I got a lasso that big. | ||
| Then all of a sudden, with those animals, you can live near them so your diseases, your immune system grows stronger. | ||
| You can make food. | ||
| You have surplus food. | ||
| Wait, you never read this book? | ||
| I haven't read it yet. | ||
| Well, it's the best book ever, dude. | ||
| I keep hearing. | ||
| I haven't read it yet. | ||
| It's been recommended to me like 20 times. | ||
| Blow your mind, bro. | ||
| All right, I'm going to get it on Amazon right now. | ||
| All right, good, good. | ||
| I don't remember the whole Japanese part of it, but it'd be interesting. | ||
| I watched Ancient Aliens the other night where they were trying to say that Japanese samurai swords, they were taught to them by aliens. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| No one could have figured out a way to make this steel like this. | ||
| They were talking about Japanese. | ||
| Develop the ability to fucking fold steel over and over. | ||
| That's all I want is a samurai suit given to me by a freaking alien, dude. | ||
| I'd be stoked if it was glow in the dark. | ||
| I like what 4chan's been doing with him. | ||
| They've been having huge photo threads of the guy from Ancient Aliens and his hair and stuff, and they're just making him all these different characters. | ||
| It's so fucking funny. | ||
| I love memes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
4chan. | |
| I want to get on 4chan. | ||
| I always hear about it. | ||
| I never go on it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Just don't tell anybody. | ||
| Do it from Starbucks. | ||
| Buy now with one click, son. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| I bought it. | ||
| Gun, Germs, and Steel. | ||
| I'll try to read it the next time you're on the podcast again. | ||
| I'll bring that shit up. | ||
| Are you buying it for your hardback? | ||
| It's going to be work. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Actually, the first half of that book is pretty like bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. | ||
| Then it gets to be like work. | ||
| The second half of it, you start to be like, oh, Oh, shit! | ||
| Like, I gotta read this back again. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| You know, it gets a little complicated. | ||
| But man, overall, like, I'm so... | ||
| That's one of the books I'm so glad I read. | ||
| It paints a beautiful picture on why did Europeans come over to different places in the world, spread their... | ||
| You know, Columbus stuffed up the boat, sneezed, and a hundred million people died. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Why didn't Indians, Native Americans here getting canoes, come to Europe, infect us with their diseases, and shoot us with... | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that believe that people came here far earlier than that. | ||
| You know what the Olmecs are in Mexico and in South America? | ||
| Have you ever heard of Olmecs? | ||
| I've heard of this theory. | ||
| They don't know who the fuck they are, man. | ||
| They don't know who they are. | ||
| They have African faces. | ||
| They have African faces and these things are thousands and thousands of years old. | ||
| old they believe at least six thousand years old what these fucking structures which puts them you know more what is that four thousand not even yeah almost four thousand BC so they don't know who the fuck these people were when they came from Africa they have African faces and this big carved stones gigantic massive ones of these faces they don't have a language attributed to these people they don't know that anything about the culture sorry just what a mystery so it's very likely that people were traveling from from South America How many years ago? | ||
| South America to Egypt, in fact, because they found cocaine in mummies, and they know that cocaine can only be grown in South America, in South American climate. | ||
| That's the whole Mormon faith's belief, though, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| The Mormon faith believes that the lost tribe of Israel came across the Bering Strait, and they became the American Indians. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I thought they went South America first. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Indians look Chinese. | ||
| That's how it's described to me by a Mormon is that somehow, somewhere in the Middle East, they came to South America first and populated the Americas from South America. | ||
| Nah, I don't think so. | ||
| I haven't heard that one. | ||
| I thought what I heard, maybe there's another group that believes that. | ||
| But what's really funny is one guy actually went and got genetic testing because he was a devout Mormon and he really truly believed in it. | ||
| So he went out and got the American Indians tested because he wanted to prove that they were Israeli. | ||
| yeah they were the lost tribes but they were from siberia they were from the bering strait they came from another country they were indian well you don't need a damn test look at a freaking eskimo look at eskimo and look at a chinese person yeah yeah you're like you're like uh there's got to be some damn connection yeah russians look so much like american indians you It's easy, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's easy. | |
| Well, those people, it's really amazing when you stop and think about it, when you look at how Eskimos have lived up until really recently. | ||
| They still sort of follow the same sort of lives that they would have had to have followed hundreds and hundreds of years ago to stay alive. | ||
| They still wear skins. | ||
| They hunt seals. | ||
| It's kind of amazing shit that they're still able to eke out a life in a world where you would be terrified to live. | ||
| Could you imagine if we had to go and we had to move to northern Alaska and live forever with the Eskimos? | ||
| Like, whoa. | ||
| That's a trippy life, dude. | ||
| Would you ever adapt at this point in your life? | ||
| I would try my best. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| I would try my best. | ||
| I'd be like, fuck it, dude. | ||
| Let's get out there. | ||
| Let's do some ice fishing. | ||
| That would be my first thought. | ||
| Get some hooks, bro. | ||
| I want to get some furry boots, too. | ||
| Furry boots is where it's at this season. | ||
| The real issue would be that you'd have no choice and that you would probably have to be working so hard just to stay alive that that's where you must get all of your enjoyment from fucking hunting and gathering. | ||
| You don't have no time for no hobbies anymore, dude. | ||
| If you're living up there and you're just trying to bash seals over the head every day and eat them. | ||
| I would do that for sure. | ||
| Yeah, I think you would. | ||
| You would adapt, just like any movie, like that Tom Hanks movie where he fucking was shockwrecked. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| You would adapt. | ||
| But you wouldn't enjoy it. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| This podcast life where you sit around, smoke joints, drink coconut juice. | ||
| Thank you to CTO, because they sent me some more coconut juice. | ||
| Yo, man, this is delicious. | ||
| This stuff is the bomb diggity. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| No, what? | ||
| I mean, come on, Joe Rollins. | ||
| It's super healthy for you, right, Brian Parsons? | ||
| Yeah, it is, right? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| You're the health master. | ||
| I don't know about that, but yeah, it's great. | ||
| Do you still sell that Lightforce stuff? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Lifeforce, right? | ||
| Not Lightforce. | ||
| L-I-G-H-T. L-I-G-H-T. And then L-I-F-E is the Randy Couture version? | ||
| I don't think that exists anymore, but I'm not sure. | ||
| I think he has a different... | ||
| Where do they get that Lightforce shit? | ||
| That stuff's good. | ||
| Lightforcegreens.com. | ||
| Everybody was drinking that shit for a while. | ||
| I'm drinking it. | ||
| I was drinking it with my protein shake. | ||
| It gives it like a little minty flair to it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I do to it, too. | ||
| I also buy some... | ||
| There's a green superfood thing. | ||
| Powdered shit, I always put it in there. | ||
| But I don't know how much that really helps. | ||
| It doesn't ever seem to help as much as the Vitamix when you're really blending up raw kale. | ||
| Nothing will beat a fresh juice or a Vitamix juice. | ||
| But having that powder is damn convenient. | ||
| It's good to travel with. | ||
| There's an extra little boost. | ||
| Do you always make sure you guys eat red meat? | ||
| Or do you guys eat chicken and fish? | ||
| Do you stop them from eating red meat? | ||
| What's your thoughts on red meat? | ||
| Diet to me I've spent so much time on and it's a subject that's really interesting and it's super boring at the same time. | ||
| Because in 30 seconds you can learn 95% of everything you need to know. | ||
| Then you can argue about the rest. | ||
| So I think less red meat is probably better. | ||
| I got an idea. | ||
| I think you're supposed to eat things that are hard to catch. | ||
| I think that's why fish is really good for you, and that's why deer is really good for you, and elk is really good for you, because they're out there running and trying to get away. | ||
| But wild meat's so different than anything farmers. | ||
| Super good for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fries are good for you. | |
| Yeah, super good for you. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Essential fatty acid profiles are totally different. | ||
| Fat profile, everything's different. | ||
| I think it's better for you. | ||
| I only eat chickens that fight back. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Those big fat plump ones with the juicy breasts. | ||
| Their breasts are so big they fall forward and fucking face plant everywhere they go. | ||
| You ever seen those? | ||
| Those are American chickens, Jack. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| They get there real quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know they're trying to shake a chicken? | ||
| There's ideas of shaking a chicken and turning it into a dinosaur. | ||
| They believe that they can actually do some Jurassic Park shit. | ||
| What the hell are we waiting for? | ||
| I want to see this fucking chicken. | ||
| I'll get a pet again if that's the case. | ||
| This Chickensaurus Rex? | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| Jurassic Park was a badass. | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| That movie made me like, man, I hope they do this soon. | ||
| Dude, when that fucking kid is in the car and the water starts moving in the car. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Classic. | ||
| I used to do a little video. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| And you see that fucking thing. | ||
| It's a classic podcast. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Now Joe Rogan is scared of animals that don't exist. | ||
| Like, man, I'm terrified. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm terrified of animals that may exist in the future. | |
| How about that? | ||
| I hope that does. | ||
| You wouldn't go to Jurassic Park with me. | ||
| I'm thinking about new predators. | ||
| Would you go? | ||
| Joe Rogan. | ||
| Would I go to Jurassic Park? | ||
| If there's a real Jurassic Park, would you go? | ||
| Is there a T-Rex? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| No, I'm not going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Come on, bro! | ||
| What if one day it breaks loose? | ||
| You got to see a T-Rex. | ||
| A T-Rex, man. | ||
| I saw a T-Rex on the Jurassic Park movie. | ||
| The movie I saw a T-Rex. | ||
| I got a big screen TV, man. | ||
| This shit was legit. | ||
| High definition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
1080p. | |
| We're going to wrap this bitch up because we're running out of tape. | ||
| Otherwise, we won't be able to process it on iTunes. | ||
| But this was a long and storied discussion. | ||
| It was. | ||
| You guys are awesome. | ||
| Thank you, Dr. Parsons, for coming by. | ||
| Thanks, Dr. Parsons. | ||
| Ryan Parsons' best neck cracker in the history of neck cracking. | ||
| He cracked the shit out of some necks. | ||
| He's an awesome chiropractor as well. | ||
| And, of course, the trainer of... | ||
| What do you guys call yourselves now? | ||
| What do you guys call yourselves? | ||
| We don't have a name. | ||
| Reality show duo? | ||
| No name? | ||
| We need to have a name, man. | ||
| We need to come up with a name. | ||
| A name for the Ryan Parsons team. | ||
| The Ryan Parsons posse. | ||
| Isn't there a song, a band, the Ryan Parsons Project? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| Alan Parsons. | ||
| Alan Parsons. | ||
| That's your cousin's son. | ||
| This weekend, I'm in Washington, D.C. at the Warner Center, 9.30 this Friday night. | ||
| And that's with Ari Shafir. | ||
| And then on October 7th, we're in Houston, Texas at the Verizon Wireless Center. | ||
| And that's with Brennan Walsh and Joey Diaz. | ||
| and that should be fun as fuck, you goddamn fucking freaks. | ||
| For what we talked about earlier, AlphaBrain, if you're interested, go to onnit.com, and if you enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off. | ||
| And thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast as well. | ||
| And then if you go to joerogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off. | ||
| So I'm saving you money while I'm straightening out your brain and sharpening up your loads. | ||
| Whoever thought your last name would be a coupon code growing up? | ||
| Crazy, bro. | ||
| Shit is crazy. | ||
| Make sense to me. | ||
| Subscribe to The Death Squad on iTunes. | ||
| It's Brian's podcast network that he's got going on. | ||
| He's got John Reap and John Heffron are on it. | ||
| He's got Tom Segura on it. | ||
| Sam Tripoli. | ||
| A bunch of good comics. | ||
| It's all free, of course. | ||
| That's it, right? | ||
| We're probably going to be back tomorrow, but I don't know. | ||
| I have to find out what time to work till. | ||
| That's it for now. | ||
| Thank you, everybody. | ||
| Thank you, Ryan. | ||
| Thank you, Mayhem. | ||
| Thank you, all the people out in Cyberland. |
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