Freddy Lockhart joins Joe Rogan, who starts with a Fleshlight promo ("ROGAN" for 15% off) and teases his guest’s habit of saying "sun" instead of "son." Rogan shares wild stories—Paris Hilton’s distracted surgeon, a Porsche GT3 rally driver, and his own Barracuda crash—before riffing on Hollywood’s lying comedian culture: Wheels (a Dice Clay opener with fake Harvard/Yale claims), Eddie Griffin’s exaggerated kickboxing tales, and Marc Maron’s alleged bitterness toward Louie CK and Rogan. He also recalls Comedy Store chaos, including Charles Fleischer’s banned antics and gifting Dave Teitelbaum a $1K Scirocco, plus Tom Arnold’s mood swings. The segment ends with Ustream audio feedback derailing the stream. Rogan’s unfiltered takes reveal how fame warps truth—and even tech—into absurdity. [Automatically generated summary]
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When I see dudes on the phone, get off the phone, son.
And they get the phone up to their ear, which is illegal under California law.
I wonder how many fucking people have died directly as a result of idiots being on their phone texting and driving and talking on the phone by their ear and losing out the peripheral vision.
I bet it's staggering numbers.
unidentified
It's a lot worse than I thought it was.
You know, at first I was like, oh, it's probably the worst as, like, eating or doing other things in the car, but no, there's so many times you're just at the stop, like, really, stop Facebooking, it's a green light, you know?
Yeah, there's a lot of people that just won't let that shit drop.
unidentified
Yeah, I have to make a point that I was trying to send a tweet on the way here, I'm like, you know, you're winding mountain road, almost, you know, dying, just a tweet, hey!
Unless you think you're in a goddamn Porsche commercial and you're going sideways around corners, there's this video that made me want to get a GT3. Before I got one, there's a video of a Porsche on a mountain road.
It's a GT3 on a mountain road, and it's some badass fucking rally driver, and he's on a mountain road, and it's like turning left and right, and he's going sideways around every corner.
And then one of the dudes that I gave a hundred bucks now is one of the cameramen for TMZ. So he comes down to the improv, and I'm like, what's up, dude?
unidentified
And he's like, hey, remember you used to make me grow your car for a hundred dollars?
He's got a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other.
Meanwhile, this guy's a movie star.
unidentified
He'll tell you things like, Nigga, when I was studying at Harvard and before Yale, but after Oxford and before Johns Hopkins, I said to myself, Eddie, I'm going to do some comedy.
It was like, the thing is, he was like a He's a liar movie star.
Yeah, and that's what I don't get.
You knocked it out.
You did something that.001% of people in this town do.
Congratulations.
And here you're trying to tell me that you own Coca-Cola, too?
We're exposed to, by being comics and by being comics in the pressure cooker that is Hollywood, you're exposed to psychological lessons that the average person just never gets to deal with.
You know, you get to watch someone become crazy.
You get to watch someone lose their shit when they get a little bit of fame.
For years, I've been trying to be so fucking nice to him because of that.
So every opportunity to shit on him or to fuck with him, I've avoided and ducked because I felt like I owed him for something that happened when we were really young.
And so, you know, that's why I did his podcast, even though he'd said some stupid shit about me.
One of the really dumb things that he said is that I've done more bad to comedy than Mencia has because of doing Fear Factor.
And his rationale...
This is a true argument.
his rationale was that in doing fear factor i had taken work away from stand-up comics who also worked as writers so the idea is that in me being a stand-up comic who also has a side job of hosting somehow or another these other stand-up comics their side job of writing sitcoms outside of stand-up comedy their side job is somehow or another more valid that it's still it's still not comedy it It's still not stand-up comedy.
You're talking about a guy who's a massive plagiarist who just ruined comics lives.
And you're comparing them to me because I hosted a game show.
But watching this, listening to this keynote, now I understand a little bit better.
Because three years ago, he was talking about how he was so depressed.
He couldn't get any road work.
He couldn't get booked anywhere.
No one wanted to have meetings with him.
Nothing was going on.
And, you know, he was thinking about committing suicide.
And this was just three years ago.
This was before he started doing his podcast.
And, you know, this is while all the shit was going down.
I mean, this is, you know, three years ago, I wasn't doing Fear Factor, but I'm sure before then, the bitterness was just as much.
When some people see other people get success, they fester, and it drives them fucking crazy, and they want to look for holes in it.
They want to look for things that are wrong with it.
Instead of saying, oh, look at that fucking guy, he's going to do it.
Like, I love Drew Carey, okay?
And I wouldn't want to host The Price is Right for a fucking million dollars an episode.
I'd be like, God damn.
That's what he's doing?
The Price is Right?
Or is that...
unidentified
Yeah, he took over Bob Arkin.
But you know what that shows me?
That you're a creature who is survival of the fittest.
Yeah, one of those fucking, either Price is Right or the other one.
You know what I mean?
Name that tune, whatever the fuck he's doing.
It's not good.
And it's one of those things where you look like it's soul-crushing shit.
But it's a fucking gig.
When I see Drew Carey, I don't go, fucking, Drew Carey sold out.
Like, look at Drew Carey selling out.
But Marin has this thing, because he was so unsuccessful, he looks for reasons why other people's success is either invalid or negative or bad, but this fucking festering personality of constantly obsessing about his career and negativity, it was a fascinating keynote.
One of the things he said, he joked around, it was a really funny joke, I'm the guy who thought Louie's TV show should have been called Fuck You, Marc Maron.
You know, because they started out together, you know, so he's got some fucking crazy jealousy about Louie.
Callan, you know, Callan even, like, said something and threatened him and said, look, I'll hit you.
Like, okay, you want to fuck with me and fuck with me in front of my friends?
Like, I'll hit you.
I don't know what happened or who, this is just the stories that I'm getting, but I know that he gave Ari unsolicited criticism and I know he fucks with Kilstein.
Brian, are you fucking with the levels constantly?
He's doing that because he's doing that to himself.
His whole mind is fucked.
He's a guy who's been doing comedy forever, but still can't get successful.
We were in Irvine the other day.
We did the Irvine Improv.
And I'm like, do you guys pretty much sell out here every weekend?
He's like, not when Marc Maron was here.
He's like, barely got 100 tickets sold to each show.
And I was like, 100 tickets at the Irvine Improv?
Like, that's impossible.
So, it's like, this career that he's had for all these years, 25 plus years, it's, you know, he's obviously done a lot of shit wrong until he did this podcast.
And this podcast, he's just nailing it.
The podcast he figured out.
What he's good at is really getting into people's minds.
He knows his own neuroses.
He knows his own fears and hopes and dreams and stand-up.
And he can relate to other comics.
And then now he's sort of like calming down and being...
But he still does douchey shit.
Like Anthony Bourdain's going to be on my podcast.
And it's that crazy sort of fucking dysfunctional thinking, that thinking that disconnected is what it is.
You're disconnected from other people, and you want it all.
You want all the adulation, you want all the love, and if you're not getting what you need, fuck everybody else.
Then negativity starts, you start throwing your negativity at other people.
And the only way you can truly be positive at all is if you feel like you're getting enough positivity to be, okay, I got a good level here.
I got a good stash of positivity.
Now I can be nice.
It's a fascinating psychological study to watch all these guys, to watch these Marc Maron guys that were like literally on the brink of suicide, you know?
And I think, I try to like Marc.
I really do.
I try to be nice to him as much as I can.
I try to like him.
But it's like, man, I have a hard time seeing all that.
I want to just throttle a guy like that and go, look, let's sit down and write down what the fuck is wrong with you and just work it out for once and for all.
Let's not deal with this for 25 fucking more years.
It's like, here's a guy who doesn't feel like there's enough positivity out there, and if he hasn't stockpiled a big stash of it, then it's, oh, these fucking kids, they think they're funny, and all you do is talk dirty, and all you do is this, and all you do is that.
So he goes on stage and introduces me after I introduced him with this old school thing.
And he goes, this guy thinks I'm old school.
And then he shits on me and he starts shitting on my jokes.
And this is all before he brings me up on stage.
So I go on stage and I don't even know exactly how to...
Handle him.
So I go on stage, I go, first of all, dude, before I address any of what you just said, so I just start talking to him as he's walking through the crowd.
I go, old school's a positive thing.
I go, am I right, folks?
And they start clapping.
I go, it's like a rapper term.
unidentified
I go, when you say someone's older, he goes, yeah, well then you must be new school.
But those guys who can find all these things wrong, whether it's the club booker or whatever, like, especially at the comedy store, you'll find guys that's like, I'll always say them, what other club is putting you on?
You would look at the lineup, you would see Freddie Lockhart, and then you'd look at before you, and you'd just go...
unidentified
Dude, I remember when I worked the cover booth, and I turned my shirt inside out because I was embarrassed to work there because I'd have to answer to the likes of why there's a Guglia Rossi on stage, or a Dave Pierre, or whoever they were putting on, giving eulogies as they do.
And I remember you drove that NSX, and I remember it was like, if I saw that NSX pulling up, you were like the Calvary.
It's like, oh...
A legitimate, bonafide comedian, a real comedian that I can show all these people that I had to look in a straight face in charge of $20 to see the likes of Dave Pierre up there telling, why doesn't my cell phone work with the antenna down, but up, it works.