April 8, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:35:53
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ladies and gentlemen, the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link that says Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off. | ||
| Alright, and with that said, buckle up, bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Brian thinks it's funny to keep playing that Black Eyes voice. | ||
| I actually totally forgot. | ||
| That fake black guy's voice. | ||
| It's much more offensive. | ||
| Before we get started, I think I have to say more about the Fleshlight. | ||
| I don't think that's a 15 second ad. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| I shoot loads into it. | ||
| I recommend you do the same. | ||
| Can I hop in on this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Kevin Pereira wants to shoot loads into a flashlight. | ||
| We're going to provide him with one. | ||
| I want to believe in a world where I can, but as I said, I get a wave of guilt and sin and filth that washes over me every time I climax, and I can't imagine saving that into a fleshy device that I then have to dishwasher. | ||
| It feels better, but it's more embarrassing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Kevin's brought wine. | ||
| We are gentlemen. | ||
| We are sophisticates here. | ||
| Cheers, mate. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cheers. | |
| This is, I mean, we have wine, coconut water, and coffee. | ||
| Yeah, we have coffee, and we're stoned. | ||
| And, you know, I don't, um, there's a thing, I don't have a lot of obsessive compulsive shit, but one thing I have is if you're making a toast, you gotta click glasses with everybody. | ||
| Have to, yes. | ||
| Yeah, what is this, like, sort of half-assed gesture that some people don't want to lean across the table? | ||
| Listen, you lazy bitch, are we all in this together or what? | ||
| We gotta click glasses. | ||
| And you have to tap it on the table first before you drink it. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| You do? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| It's like a no-tag-back thing. | ||
| You just have to do it. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| Does that signify I'm done? | ||
| My glass is in? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| My whole life I've done them wrong. | ||
| You've been sending mixed messages to people. | ||
| You could be getting in fights and not know it. | ||
| This is like a jiu-jitsu technique where you realize you couldn't finish it. | ||
| All you had to do was just one little thing. | ||
| One little thing different. | ||
| I didn't click my... | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Gentlemen, here's the mulligans. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Yes, mulligans. | ||
| I don't even know what that means. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a do-over. | |
| What is a mulligan? | ||
| It's a do-over. | ||
| I never played golf. | ||
| Did you tap? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I never tap. | |
| He never taps. | ||
| I ain't tapping, bitch. | ||
| Out of all the douchey t-shirts I've ever seen related to mixed martial arts, one of them was tap or snap. | ||
| It's up to you. | ||
| MMA fashion has got to evolve, man. | ||
| How many wolves and skeletons and chains can you wear around your neck before you're asking to get in a fight? | ||
| Dude, I got this new company that's about to break off. | ||
| It's called Break My Dick Off in Your Ass Fight Gear. | ||
| This is the fucking... | ||
| The logo's a dragon, fucking a pit bull in the ass, covered in glitter. | ||
| Bro, I need to get you and Dana Whiten on this. | ||
| Dude, have you got the new tank top by Two Knuckles Deep? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh. | |
| It's so good. | ||
| The moment you go two knuckles deep, man, you're going to tap. | ||
| It's a new technique, all the kinds of two knuckles. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| St. Pierre has been training pretty mad. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I did not know that. | ||
| Yeah, he can get three knuckles. | ||
| Wow, that's incredible. | ||
| But then again, Belladonna's only 100 pounds and she can get a baseball bat. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| God bless her. | ||
| What the fuck is that all about? | ||
| That should be an Olympic sport. | ||
| Gaping should absolutely be a sport. | ||
| Or spitting in the gaping hole, like a basketball type thing for accuracy. | ||
| That's hard to do, especially when you have a chest cold because it sticks to everything. | ||
| None of this existed when I was a child. | ||
| No, it did, just I don't think people knew about it. | ||
| Do you think it did? | ||
| Do you think there was a lot of assholes stretching and spitting in assholes? | ||
| Yeah, if we had flip cams back in the 1800s, you'd see Victorian caping. | ||
| It's probably worse. | ||
| There's some of it that's so bad, like that guy, that Max Hardcore guy, he went to jail for it. | ||
| I mean, you've got to do something really fucking creepy for them to be wanting to lock you up in jail in 2011 or 10, whether. | ||
| Maybe it was even 9 for porn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this fucking guy, man, he was opening girls' assholes up with, like, speculums. | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| Whatever medical instrument, little thing that you stretch it apart with. | ||
|
unidentified
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Vice grip? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| And then peeing in there and then making girls drinking out with a straw, allegedly. | ||
| They were talking about this. | ||
| Sal was talking about this on the Stern Show. | ||
| I don't know if it's true. | ||
| But if it is true, I don't doubt it. | ||
| I don't doubt it. | ||
| I've seen a lot of this shit. | ||
| But see, I was seeing shit back in the bulletin board dial-up days when I was like 9, 10 years old, which explains a lot. | ||
| I've been desensitized since then. | ||
| Like the Russian soldier putting his foot on a head and cutting a neck open and going, oh, it would be steamy because it was cold outside. | ||
| Like that analysis of fucked up shit at the age of 9 or 10. So I believe it was all out there. | ||
| But what I don't get are how girls are making money off of non-porn because guys are sexually objectified by it. | ||
| Like the crushers that will crush a cell phone with a heel or pump a gas pedal on a car. | ||
| There's a lot of fucked up dudes out there. | ||
| They can get – I mean we do a what the fuck segment on our show where it's like girls that get in pools wearing jean jackets. | ||
| And they make like $30 a month off of subscriptions because some dude is like, oh, look at that denim getting wet. | ||
| Oh, mommy would have spanked me. | ||
| Now I gotta clean my fleshlight. | ||
| Or the Minion. | ||
| Have you ever seen the Minion? | ||
| It's like a website, we've talked about this before, where this crazy, ugly, nasty, fat guy just fucks these hot porn stars. | ||
|
unidentified
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But who wants... | |
| I mean, I can see where it's kind of cool. | ||
| I forgot about this one. | ||
| But who wants to subscribe to that guy? | ||
| Well, that was always the charm of Ron Jeremy, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not all the time. | ||
| In the beginning it wasn't. | ||
| In the beginning it was sort of a normal looking guy, but then it became hideous. | ||
| It took time, but clearly he's in the hideous realm. | ||
| Everyone goes bad eventually. | ||
| He's fucking hideous. | ||
| That's part of the charm. | ||
| There's something about the internet man and technology in general that has accelerated porn and accelerated depravity and decadence into really fucking intense levels that have never existed before. | ||
| At first it was seen as this bastion of hope that was going to elevate discussion and bring intellectuals together and further everything. | ||
| It has done that to an extent. | ||
| But it's really just created hardcore porn. | ||
| Like, really hardcore porn. | ||
| I think the thing is, I think it's going to change young people. | ||
| For good or bad, and probably both. | ||
| But I think once you're old and you already have a pattern set in your head, it's way easier to just jerk off to more and more fucked up shit than it is to look at the latest findings on hypernovas or look deep into the real possibilities created by the Large Hadron Collider. | ||
| That's too much, man. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| No, Pink Clap. | ||
| That's where I'm going. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I want to watch some guy shit in some chick's mouth because I can't. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, there's guys that, like, they're so angry at women, they want to shit in their mouth. | ||
| Like, you fucking bitch, you fucking... | ||
| What could she have done? | ||
| Just exist and be unattainable. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| That's mom issues, right? | ||
| Dude, there's a lot of weak bitches out there. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Mom issues are not. | ||
| Look at the whole world around you. | ||
| Make an assessment. | ||
| Go on your instincts. | ||
| What is positive? | ||
| What is negative? | ||
| What is admirable? | ||
| What makes you jealous? | ||
| Go towards that. | ||
| And I always say, aspire to be the man that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay? | |
| Aspire to be that guy, for real. | ||
| Actually become that guy. | ||
| You don't have to use your mama's issues and all that stuff. | ||
| Get your shit together, bitch. | ||
| See, that's why I got an M3, because I want to be the guy that doesn't need a personality. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| I want to be the guy that says, look, are you moist yet? | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Plus, they're the shit, and they handle awesome. | ||
| Ah, such good. | ||
| I love cars, man. | ||
| I'm so fascinated by the engineering that I couldn't possibly be responsible for myself. | ||
| I look at something like a M3 or something like that, I think about all the fucking shit that's involved, all the different settings, the M setting, and all of a sudden the suspension changes, you feel it sticking. | ||
| Set a macro for your car and all of a sudden it's like the car is sucking you by the asshole and just holding you down the road. | ||
| Just the engineering. | ||
| I believe that there's 30 German engineers that shed a single tear whenever I put the top down. | ||
| I believe they're so proud of their work and the time and all the effort that went into making a piece of plastic fold. | ||
| I believe that they're crying about it. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's not plastic. | ||
| That's one of the coolest things about the top of the M3 convertible. | ||
| It's all one piece in metal. | ||
| That's like the coolest thing that they figured out how to do recently. | ||
| It's like a transform. | ||
| It goes into like three little sections. | ||
| You have two sections in the window. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| Have you ever seen it? | ||
| Watch when he does it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's like an orchestration of mechanical engineering. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| But doesn't that break easily? | ||
| Isn't there like, oh, it's just more shit, more moving parts. | ||
| Yeah, but that's my life. | ||
| That's everybody's life now, right? | ||
| We get more shit so that it can break, so that we can get pissed that it's shit. | ||
| It's amazing how reliable those things are. | ||
| The most unreliable car I ever had was a Porsche. | ||
| I had a 911 Turbo that broke down five times. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| But BMWs, I've never had a problem. | ||
| Japanese cars, I've never had a problem. | ||
| It's amazing how many miles you can put on a car these days and there's no problem. | ||
| Back when you had a 1970 Barracuda or something like that, 100,000 miles, that thing's done. | ||
| All right, you get bearings are blown and fucking transmission is gone, some missing gears and the engine smells like shit. | ||
| I mean, you have to rebuild everything. | ||
| Dude, those things just didn't last. | ||
| Remember those Supras we had with the lights that popped up and did one of yours break? | ||
| No, I didn't have that one. | ||
| I had the one with the fixed, I had a 92 or 93 Toyota Supra. | ||
| When they went to that space shape, that was the first really cool car that I got. | ||
| That was my news radio money. | ||
| But something about the engineering of these fucking cars, that's accelerated as well. | ||
| This M3 that I have is 420 horsepower. | ||
| Well, the 911 turbo that I had was somewhere around the same, like 420 horsepower. | ||
| But it was all turbocharged. | ||
| Right, all tweaked out. | ||
| Yeah, and it's a different sort of a feeling. | ||
| Well, this car is that with a full V8 with an 84,000 RPM, you know, rev limit. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking incredible. | ||
| Is it 84,000 or 8,400? | ||
| 8,400. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when it hits 8,400, man, that whale, it's like a Formula One race car. | ||
| It sounds awesome. | ||
| Have you done launch control yet? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| That sounds like it's going to kill the transmission. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Nah, if you warm your engine up, you have to drive for X amount of miles at certain speeds or whatnot. | ||
| You can drop it into first, shut off traction control, and if you hold one of the shifter paddles in, or you put it in neutral, slam on the gas while holding a shifter paddle, a checkered flag will appear on the dash. | ||
| There's Easter eggs? | ||
| Yeah, no, there's total Easter eggs in the software. | ||
| And then you can use your cruise control actual controls to boost up the RPM, so when you let go, it engages that clutch when you're already at 7,000, 8,000 RPM. Screams. | ||
| And you'll break your neck. | ||
| That's That's badass. | ||
| How did you find out about that? | ||
| Internets? | ||
| Oh, it's pretty common. | ||
| It's common. | ||
| The Nissans actually did it for their GTR, and when people used it, it violated the warranty. | ||
| What? | ||
| They say with BMW, if you do it over twice, apparently it counts how many times you do it. | ||
| It violates your warranty, too. | ||
| Wow, that's funny. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Make a better thing. | ||
| Don't give me something that breaks, stupid. | ||
| But the Nissan one was particularly ridiculous because it's a goddamn race car. | ||
| I mean, what Nissan was bragging about was their 0-60 time was ridiculously low, and the handling of the car is insane. | ||
| It's a fucking amazing car. | ||
| I drove it, but there's something about it. | ||
| It's like, yeah, it's really fast, and yeah, but it's ugly. | ||
| It's goofy looking. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's got some sort of a techno-Godzilla thing going on that I'm not really into. | ||
| It stands out too much. | ||
| If a Ferrari stands out, it stands out, but it stands out. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| That car stands out. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Smart cars stand out because they look like baby sneakers on wheels. | ||
| It's not a good standout. | ||
| It's an odd standout. | ||
| I tried to like it. | ||
| I looked around it and stared at it. | ||
| I tried to like it. | ||
| But the engineering, though, is stunning. | ||
| Well, what about electric cars like the Tesla? | ||
| They're not ready. | ||
| I'm interested in them eventually, but I'm not interested in something that you have to charge for 18 hours after you drive 250. That's stupid. | ||
| I'm interested in the gallons, though. | ||
| I get 15 gallons of gas per... | ||
| You have a big truck. | ||
| I know, but that shit's... | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| Yeah, it's disgusting. | ||
| Well, it makes you mad when it starts hitting 430. I mean, what is it now? | ||
| 420 for regular. | ||
| Yeah, premium is like, I think, 450 at Chevron. | ||
| But my point was about the BMW is that what's really shocking is how much better engineered they are just over a few years ago. | ||
| Like compared to my Supra, like the Supra was a really good handling car. | ||
| But this M3 is like glued to the fucking ground. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's like it's on track. | ||
| It's the first nice car that I've ever had in my life. | ||
| And it's like you turn the wheel and the car just goes. | ||
| It doesn't ask questions. | ||
| It's so connected to the road. | ||
| It's so like, what's the word? | ||
| I mean, precise. | ||
| You know, like the way it handles and moves. | ||
| The Germans are known for their precision. | ||
| And shit in the mouth videos. | ||
| They're known for a lot of that, too. | ||
| What's up with that? | ||
| Why are the Germans into those scat videos? | ||
| Germans and Japanese. | ||
| You can't point fingers now with the internet. | ||
| Everybody's into everything. | ||
| Wasn't that the root? | ||
| I mean, behind every stereotype. | ||
| Well, they just had an awesome word for it. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Scheiser! | ||
| Scheiser? | ||
| German Scheiser porn. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And who wouldn't like to yell that? | ||
| Scheiser is shit? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Scheiser is shit? | ||
| They had a good word. | ||
| I don't know if Scheiser itself is or if that's just an exclamation you'd make when you're actually crapping on someone, but... | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, enough that they had to fucking label it. | ||
| So often, like, there's one porn when a guy shits in his mouth. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| We have a whole category of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| A guy shits on someone's mouth and there's a category? | ||
| That's what people are into? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, where else do you put it on the shelf at the adult video store, you know? | ||
| Yeah, there is no more of those. | ||
| They still exist. | ||
| Do they exist? | ||
| I went to a sex shop the other day, just a lube run, run of the mill. | ||
| I feel like we should be hearing music. | ||
| Why don't you just go to Albertsons? | ||
| People were there. | ||
| Special taste. | ||
| No, but this guy comes up to the counter and he buys a card. | ||
| He's like, I'd like $5 in the booth. | ||
| And a dude went and got a plastic card and they had a whole adult video arcade back there. | ||
| And I saw at least 10 different people come in in the short time that I was there to buy video cards to go in the back. | ||
| And beat off. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Maybe there was something way cooler. | ||
| Maybe there was the glory hole action or maybe it was a unicorn ride. | ||
| I don't know what was happening back there. | ||
| Maybe there was some crazy shit going on. | ||
| My friend Johnny, God rest his soul, used to go to New York. | ||
| He's an addict and he used to smoke crack and go to those peep shows. | ||
| That was his thing. | ||
| When he would smoke crack, he would want to go hide and go to peep shows and hide in those places all day and just give the girl money. | ||
| He would tell me these horror stories about what kind of women are on the other side, showing you their asshole. | ||
| Do you think girls are in those glass boxes behind that hotel where they have a girl in the glass box behind the checkout that's on Sunset? | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
| Do you think that's like the upgraded version of the peep show girls? | ||
| Like, oh my god, they fight with each other. | ||
| I'm working the box at the Standard this weekend. | ||
| For people that don't know what we're talking about, when you go to the Standard, as you go into the lobby, the Standard Hotel in Hollywood has the desk where they check you in, and above the desk, there's like a fish tank, like a big fish tank with a woman in it. | ||
| And she's hot, and she's in her underwear, and she's reading a book. | ||
| Or she's checking her email. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, and she's not supposed to interact with you. | ||
| They don't look at you and smile and wave because that would be so anti-LA. Right. | ||
| In LA, no one pays attention to you. | ||
| It's not like she's there to greet you. | ||
| Like in Vegas, if they were going to hire a hot chick, they'd hire you. | ||
| Hello, welcome to the casino. | ||
| Nice to meet you. | ||
| Do you need help with your bags? | ||
| Yeah, in LA, she's in her underwear reading her email and you're like looking at her. | ||
| I was with Doug Benson in Vegas and they had one of those same things, but the girls were so excited to see Doug Benson. | ||
| They got out of character and got out of the glass box to take a photo with him. | ||
|
unidentified
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Powerful blood of Benson. | |
| Did that end with Benson in the box? | ||
| Shaking it for people? | ||
| Making out. | ||
| Oh, glassy-eyed. | ||
| Bone in. | ||
| I love that, dude. | ||
| I'm so jealous and envious of people that can perform while stoned. | ||
| Listen, you're stoned right now. | ||
| Stop lying. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Stop lying to those people. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| It's all alleged. | ||
| Stop lying to America. | ||
| You know, you said something in your Twitter when you were tweeting about coming here that you were worried about ruining your career. | ||
| I thought that was hilarious. | ||
| Not worried. | ||
| I was excited by the possibility of it. | ||
| I'm ruining. | ||
| Not my current. | ||
| I'm sorry I said it negatively. | ||
| I could get pretty much caught doing whatever I need to on G4. The audience gets it. | ||
| They're all young dudes too. | ||
| But I'm on the precipice of either homelessness or potentially legitimizing myself. | ||
| This might be a nudge in one direction. | ||
| You think so, man? | ||
| I think it's a nudge towards the right direction. | ||
| I have always said that if I can't say or do something that I want to do, I'm in the wrong business. | ||
| Or I'm doing the wrong show. | ||
| You can back yourself into a corner and not even realize it's happening. | ||
| You get on a certain show and that certain show wants a certain standard of behavior. | ||
| There's a reason why Charlie Sheen is bouncing back like this. | ||
| He's like a girl that's been molested. | ||
| A girl that's been molested, they bounce back in the other way. | ||
| No, it's not that he's a victim. | ||
| It's like when you do something that you don't want to do and you have to pretend to be someone you're not. | ||
| When you get pushed in one way, there's an elasticity to life, and it makes you bounce in the other way. | ||
| We were talking to Dana D'Armand, and she was talking about her family. | ||
| It was like, hey, smoke pot, do whatever you want, but don't drink. | ||
| So I fucking drank. | ||
| You push someone in one direction, you're too controlling in one direction, and they rebel. | ||
| No, I agree. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And like I said, if I can't say or do – I've absolutely lost endorsement deals. | ||
| I've lost all sorts of stuff from I'm not going to say that. | ||
| I'm not going to do that. | ||
| And while it may have cost me short term, I think long term is the way to go. | ||
| So if we're talking about Shizer porn and BMWs – So be it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Cheers. | |
| It's just a matter of time before there is no more sensors and standards and all that nonsense. | ||
| Like the internet has pretty much kind of squashed a good huge chunk of that shit. | ||
| I worry. | ||
| You could put your content out. | ||
| Yeah, I worry about that ending at some point too. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I really do. | |
| Especially as the notion of IPTV, internet TV, and we'll get to the Google thing probably at some point. | ||
| But the notion that the distribution method, the way you're getting the content is going to matter in five years, it's not. | ||
| So when people turn on the TV and they're watching the internet, there's going to be calls for regulations and clampdowns just the way there is. | ||
| You'll still be able to self-distribute, always. | ||
| That avenue will be there to an extent. | ||
| Well, there's no regulation on cable. | ||
| Cable is not regulated by the FCC. Yeah, but then if you don't use advertisers, isn't that what motivates it? | ||
| It's very difficult. | ||
| It's going to be very difficult to rationalize imposing some sort of standards without something really fucked up happening. | ||
| And that's what you really have to worry about. | ||
| And this is fucking tinfoil hat conspiracy theory 101, okay? | ||
| It sounds absolutely ridiculous. | ||
| But if you were the government and you realized that, hey, look, what have all these rebellions all across the world have in common? | ||
| Well, they have in common these people organized on the internet in a way that was never possible before. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Okay, how do we stop that from happening? | ||
| Well, we have to figure out a way that the internet's evil. | ||
| And so then the internet gets used for something or blamed for something, and there's some sort of a terrorist attack that was coordinated by the internet. | ||
| Okay, there is a way around this, and you can still enjoy your internet, but now you have to log in. | ||
| I mean, there's been legislation proposed, the internet kill switch, which people were talking about, like mad. | ||
| And it was actually right before Egypt happened. | ||
| And then they actually discussed it right as Egypt was happening. | ||
| The main revolt. | ||
| The notion that, oh, it's for your safety, security, there's something going on. | ||
| This switch is now flipped and there goes your internet. | ||
| We have no idea how much of crises and political overthrowing of governors and, you know... | ||
| Fucking warlords and mayors. | ||
| We have no idea how much of this shit is engineered. | ||
| How much of foreign dictators, they're getting overthrown, is engineered. | ||
| And engineered by the CIA. General Wesley Clark was talking about this. | ||
| There's a video that I was watching. | ||
| I put it on my Twitter a couple of days ago. | ||
| But he was talking in 2007, okay, in detail about the plans that are in place to overthrow dictatorships throughout the world, including Libya. | ||
| Yeah, Gaddafi was... | ||
| Yeah, one of them. | ||
| But see, they were supporting Gaddafi up until that bitter end, and then they said, okay, now we're going to arm the rebels. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so that they could eventually become al-Qaeda and hate us as well once they get into power. | ||
| The whole thing is completely ridiculous. | ||
| But our reputation squandered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's gone. | |
| Wasn't there a point in time? | ||
| I remember being younger and being told USA number one and believing that, okay, that's what the world thought. | ||
| They all aspired. | ||
| But now? | ||
| Now we're a bunch of scared old men. | ||
| A bunch of scared old men that want to keep everybody down. | ||
| That's what it seems like. | ||
| This whole country seems like a bunch of meddling fucks when it comes to the rest of the world. | ||
| If I wasn't American and I didn't know that most of us here are as much victims as the people around the world, it's just not happening to us physically. | ||
| We're just as taken apart by this machine and pushed into a direction outside of our control. | ||
| It's not like we want this to happen. | ||
| The disparity between rich and poor in this country is far greater than the disparity of rich and poor in many Middle Eastern places. | ||
| Well, yeah, man. | ||
| Listen, we can't get started on that again. | ||
| I'll go on an Inside Job rampage about the financial institution. | ||
| Let's talk about fucking into socks. | ||
| Let's talk about anything else. | ||
| Let's talk about Google TV. I watched Inside Job the other day. | ||
| Oh, Inside Job. | ||
| Steven. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's mind-numbing. | ||
| It's also brutal. | ||
| What we've done financially is the same thing we're doing with other parts of the world as far as with resources and invading countries and dominating things. | ||
| We're doing things with no regard whatsoever to the consequences and no regard whatsoever in how we're viewed. | ||
| And that's the thing about this inside job. | ||
| All these guys... | ||
| Didn't have any problem walking away with hundreds of millions of dollars and looking absolutely ridiculous, looking horrible. | ||
| If they can get away with it, they're going to do it. | ||
| And that's exactly the same shit that's happening with America in these other parts of the world. | ||
| What's going on in Iraq where no one is mentioning the fact that literally a million people are dead over there. | ||
| A fucking million people died in Iraq. | ||
| And we know for a fact there was no real weapons of mass destruction. | ||
| We know for a fact there was. | ||
| I mean, just the fact that everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. | ||
| Keep going forward. | ||
| Like, we're not addressing that. | ||
| No, because, Joe, we have to focus on the important things. | ||
| Killing funding for, you know, Planned Parenthood and early education. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because we have to do some serious cuts. | ||
| Yeah, we have to. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We can only drop so many billion dollar bombs. | ||
| Isn't the government, like, shut down right now? | ||
| Is there no government? | ||
| Yeah, we're about to. | ||
| Is this a part of Armageddon? | ||
| Is this just one more thing? | ||
| Like, those dolphins died all the way? | ||
| I didn't believe it was in 2012. I thought, like, the mines just got lazy and they didn't want to count anymore. | ||
| It's much more complicated than that. | ||
| It's based on the procession of the equinox. | ||
| It's based on the 26,000-year cycle. | ||
| But it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. | ||
| That's the crazy thing. | ||
| Nowhere in the Mayan calendar does it say the end. | ||
| Since the end of the long count, it's a new era. | ||
| That doesn't mean anything. | ||
| It could just mean that, generally speaking, humanity develops in cycles. | ||
| That's what the Hindus believe too, the yugas. | ||
| The whole idea of the yugas is that there are cycles of humanity and that we eventually, just by virtue of our design, we get to a point of laziness and sloth once we have it all down like we do today. | ||
| And then eventually it would spiral out of control and then be the dark ages again. | ||
| Well, either we're heading towards Dark Ages or like transhumanism. | ||
| Yeah, or both, right? | ||
| Fucking hoarding all the information inside some gigantic electric city where everyone's in some hive mind state. | ||
| Just call it Zion. | ||
| Barbarians outside the gate. | ||
| I mean, even if you connect to the hive mind, if that does happen, transhumanism actually does manifest itself, we're still going to have people that are living in Guam. | ||
| How are we going to get them and put chips in them? | ||
| No, they're going to be used to mine the materials necessary to make the chips. | ||
| That's how that's going to go. | ||
| Some of them, but in the Pacific Islands, are you going to go and kidnap them? | ||
| Are we going to enslave them? | ||
| Is it going to be some Terminator shit? | ||
| There's going to be some people I think that are still going to be living old school, no matter what you do. | ||
| I met some of those guys. | ||
| I met a group of ex-Vietnam vets in the Emerald Triangle that are living in a box canyon in Northern California. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's where they grow all the weed, dog. | |
| So what happened? | ||
| So I'm up there and I'm chatting with this guy, B.E. Smith, who's an ex-Vietnam vet. | ||
| He was the first guy busted by the feds after it was legal state-wise. | ||
| And he's growing in a box canyon with like 17 other ex-Vietnam vets. | ||
| It's only one road in, one road out. | ||
| It takes like two hours to drive it. | ||
| And they all live there in a community growing acres and acres of weed. | ||
| And are they doing it legit? | ||
| Are they doing it like on a sneak tip? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, it's weird. | |
| I've interviewed so many people about this and even the most legit guys have some shady shit going on. | ||
| It still seems like no matter what loopholes they try to pretend they're exploiting or we take donations and we're a caregiver. | ||
| Yeah, dude, you have some shady shit in your past and you have two sets of books like every other dispensary operator out there. | ||
| So don't preach holy in the mouth. | ||
| Dude, I think you're fucking up the cause here. | ||
| Throwing these guys under the bus, man. | ||
| You might not want to go on any camping trips with these dudes. | ||
| I love the cause, but I do not like people. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with wanting to get fucking baked. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with weed. | ||
| What is wrong are people that are co-opting the medicinal marijuana movement and claiming that they're just stoners that are trying to make money or like getting loaded and they're pretending it's their medicine. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Are you claiming it's medicine? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's medicine. | ||
| I need it. | ||
| Why can't you just like to get high? | ||
| I do that, too. | ||
| I do that, too. | ||
| But I'm seeing all these devices. | ||
| But you're right. | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| I'm going to these conventions and seeing these guys that have new, like, oh, yeah, sativa benoit balls. | ||
| No, it's the coolest medication you'll ever get. | ||
| It's like, you just found out a new way to get rip-roaring high through your asshole. | ||
| Don't pretend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That, uh... | ||
| Sativa Benoit Balls? | ||
| Is this something you just made up? | ||
| Yeah, but I'm sure it exists. | ||
| That would be awesome if it was real. | ||
| If a.com is available, let's go daddy. | ||
| This is Belladonna's new video. | ||
| Sativa Benoit Balls. | ||
| People find a way to keister everything. | ||
| From champagne to ecstasy. | ||
| There's a video online of a young lady. | ||
| I think her YouTube name is Neuro Soup. | ||
| And she took DMT up her ass. | ||
| DMT up your ass absorbs directly into the bloodstream. | ||
| Like DMT needed to get any harder. | ||
| I wonder if you could do that if you snort it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know what I think the internet's going to happen, like how the government's going to get involved? | ||
| Instead of doing the kill switch, I almost think that they're going to do what web hosts have been doing lately, which is, yeah, it used to be the old days web hosts were like unlimited bandwidth, unlimited this, blah, blah, blah, 20 bucks a month. | ||
| Net neutrality. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I think the government's just going to release, hey, we have internet too. | ||
| You don't have to sign up for this internet too, but if you want to, it's like a thousand times faster. | ||
| But the only stipulation is, because now web hosts are doing the same thing. | ||
| It's like, hey, if you switch to cloud-based servers, you still get everything else, but now you have to pay for RAM. But the way they're going to do that is they're going to turn the internet you know now into that with net neutrality or the lack thereof. | ||
| So it's going to be you pay for the internet, you get premium, super fast bandwidth access to the stuff we want you to have access to. | ||
| How important is the message to people that we need to keep the internet free? | ||
| I think it's going to be one of the most important debates of our time. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I thought Google was going to be good on this. | ||
| I really thought they were going to be the good guy in the fight. | ||
| And the deal that they did with Verizon and the FCC is insane. | ||
| It basically says, listen, your traditional broadband, not going to fuck with it, bro. | ||
| Net neutrality. | ||
| You guys are good. | ||
| That wireless spectrum space, we can totally clamp that down. | ||
| Well, how many people believe wires are in our future? | ||
| None. | ||
| It's all going high-speed wireless, and that's the way it's going to be delivered. | ||
| And they're pretending like they're going to totally clamp down on that. | ||
| So you're going to pay for your internet. | ||
| It'll probably be provided wirelessly. | ||
| And then if you want access to really good stuff, you're going to pay them more. | ||
| So AT&T and Bing for life, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, my concern is censorship. | ||
| My concern isn't just over control of bandwidth and stuff like that. | ||
| But control of bandwidth is censorship. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| You're right. | ||
| Yeah, the ability to disseminate information as quickly as possible is one of the most important parts about it. | ||
| I think that eventually we're going to have to figure out How much control we're going to allow the government to have over us. | ||
| Because, you know, people as a group, like collectively, have to realize that there has never been one thing in human history responsible for more access to information than the internet. | ||
| And it's because of the free nature of it. | ||
| You could put up a website right now and just put up the craziest fucking shit you want. | ||
| And people will go to it. | ||
| And then it gets, oh, hey, check this out. | ||
| And virally it spreads. | ||
| There's never been anything like that ever in life except rumors. | ||
| Rumors were the only things that have been spread like that. | ||
| And those took years to go from one place to the other. | ||
| Now it's instantly. | ||
| Yeah, like the Richard Gere gerbil in the butt rumor, right? | ||
| That shit spread over the whole country. | ||
| It took a long ass time for that to happen. | ||
| No pun intended. | ||
| Yeah, no pun intended. | ||
| But when you talk about. | ||
| That's the only thing that, you know, the Internet. | ||
| Anything is just like the Richard Gere gerbil up the butt story. | ||
| Literally anything can be. | ||
| Any new item that happens like literally gets to your Twitter like almost instantly. | ||
| Like my Twitter is responsible for like 80% of the shit I read online. | ||
| It's like someone tweets me stuff. | ||
| You know, like, dude, you gotta check this out. | ||
| It's now, and I just retweet it back. | ||
| It's like, people are tweeting me the most fascinating shit. | ||
| If I lived 30 years ago, this would have never happened. | ||
| You would have to live in a university town, and you would have to either teach, or you'd have to be around students all the time. | ||
| Or you'd have to be in some sort of a really challenging job where the other people that are around you are, like, really creative and constantly reviewing information. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| In order to get this kind of a richness in, like, what comes in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| We're so lucky, man. | ||
| And yet, I'd say, what, 7% of internet users take advantage of that? | ||
| And that's the hardest part. | ||
| And now it's so convoluted, you have no idea where that information is coming from. | ||
| Is it remotely reliable? | ||
| The internet's just a... | ||
| It's also a clusterfuck. | ||
| It is tricky, because there was one thing that I read yesterday. | ||
| It was really fucking... | ||
| There's a couple that I've read, but there's one about this FBI Freedom of Information Act... | ||
| Oh, that website where you can go and see all the articles that are up there? | ||
| I printed this one because it's ridiculous. | ||
| It's a guy named Guy Hotel, H-O-T-T-E-L, I believe is his name. | ||
| And he put out some fucking Freedom of Information Act thing about UFOs, man. | ||
| And it's really crazy. | ||
| But listen to what it says. | ||
| An investigator for the Air Force stated that three so-called flying saucers had been recovered in New Mexico. | ||
| They were described as being circular in shape with raised centers approximately 50 feet in diameter. | ||
| Each one was occupied by three bodies of human shape but only three feet tall, dressed in metallic cloth or a very fine texture. | ||
| Each body was bandaged in a major... | ||
| It's hard to read that. | ||
| It's a little bloggy. | ||
| To the blackout suits used by speed flyers and test pilots. | ||
| This is some pretty crazy shit. | ||
| I don't know if this is a hoax. | ||
| I don't know if this is horseshit. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| It happened in 1940. Is that this Roswell that they're talking about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A bunch of midgets out there. | ||
|
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Midgets trying to take over the world, crashing their shit. | |
| I just don't know if this is horseshit, but it is on the FBI fucking page. | ||
| It's on the FBI. It's the page on this guy. | ||
| I mean, all it's saying is that an investigator said this. | ||
| Someone said something. | ||
| That's all it really says. | ||
| I imagine that if that was any more concrete of proof, it wouldn't be out there still. | ||
| It's one of my favorite stories, man. | ||
| The Roswell story is one of my favorite stories, because it's pretty universal that everyone saw something. | ||
| And there's so many people, like General Philip Corso, or Admiral, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Title is. | ||
| But all these people that were in the military that saw things and testified after the fact. | ||
| And their stories are so similar. | ||
| You know, after like 10, 20, 30 years go by, who the fuck knows what you're really remembering? | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| You pick up a piece from someone else's story and... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you talk to O.J. Simpson right now, that guy, he might have some crazy fucking story in his head where he really didn't do it. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| But this New Mexico thing, to me, is fascinating because they printed in the paper that we've recovered a crashed flying disc. | ||
| You know, that the Air Force had communicated to the newspaper, we have recovered a UFO. It doesn't mean it wasn't some sort of a Russian thing. | ||
| It doesn't mean it wasn't one of their own things. | ||
| But it also doesn't mean it wasn't a fucking flying saucer. | ||
| Who was saying all this? | ||
| Maybe the reporter just asked some dummy that was like, you saw an alien. | ||
| I could tell you because I have it in the hallway. | ||
| I have the actual... | ||
| With a newspaper article? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| But no, it was a high-level guy. | ||
| And then the next day, he had to come out and do a press release, and they brought pieces of weather balloon wreckage. | ||
| And they were saying, oh, it was just this. | ||
| I used to do a joke about it. | ||
| They said, what about the aliens? | ||
| Oh, those were Mexicans. | ||
| They were up in a balloon. | ||
| They were drinking. | ||
| Some shenanigans took place. | ||
| Apparently, they mistook the balloon for a pinata. | ||
| Nothing to worry about. | ||
| By the way, we've just invented transistors with very little research. | ||
| I've never heard that. | ||
| That's an old show. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| You don't know that one? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| Yeah, that was the crashed UFO that they recovered. | ||
| Yeah, the Roswell thing. | ||
| Is that on disk? | ||
| Yeah, that's on 99. That's to go along with my SETI one. | ||
| The SETI one that takes like 3 million years for a signal, radial signal reach outside the galaxy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So you send out, hello, is anyone out there? | ||
| 3 million years later, what? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Man, that's been a while. | ||
| Did you ever do the SETI search at home where your computer would help analyze data bits that they got back? | ||
| I thought about doing it, but I'm like, you're just going to hog up my fucking computer and I'm not using it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the dumbest shit ever. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| And what are you going to do? | ||
| Listen, if they want to talk to us, they can talk to us, stupid. | ||
| You know, I mean. | ||
| That's dumb. | ||
| The idea that we need to sit around monitoring some fucking radio spectrum. | ||
| I think that if anything is going to be able to communicate with us from that far away, they're going to be so fucking far advanced. | ||
| All you'd have to do is be in a different environment where you don't have the threat of asteroidal impact. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the big one. | ||
| Asteroid impact and a stable planet. | ||
| A planet that doesn't have all the crazy shit going on that this planet does with super volcanoes and shifting of the polar ice caps and stuff like that, which we know happen. | ||
| I do get the notion of listening, though, for the same way that we might be broadcasting something out. | ||
| Like, if you're going to roll your dice, yes, there are probably bazillions of light years ahead of us in advanced and intelligent, but least common denominator, maybe there's another human being species out there that is still broadcasting I Love Lucy episodes and... | ||
| Hitler's Olympic opening, and you can listen for that. | ||
| I get that notion. | ||
| Yeah, I get the notion too, but I feel like if they're going to get to us, they're going to get to us. | ||
| It just seems... | ||
| I love that woman who the Jodie Foster movie Contact was based on. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| That woman is really doing that. | ||
| She's really out there in the middle of the fucking desert. | ||
| Don't we need an alien attack? | ||
| Nothing too drastic to happen, but just a common enemy to unite us all so we'll realize that we are human beings and get along. | ||
| That would help. | ||
| If we could all band together, then we could really research some cool space travel shit and teleporters or whatever else we need. | ||
| The most trippy thing would be if we realized that aliens came from not another planet but another dimension. | ||
| From here but in another dimension. | ||
| They were dimensional travelers. | ||
| And the concept of dimensions is pretty fucking squirrely to people. | ||
| But I always try to explain it as if it's a radio. | ||
| Think of it as life as a radio. | ||
| And we are currently tuned in to 97.1. | ||
| It doesn't mean there's not a 101.1 right down the dial that's just as vibrant. | ||
| We just haven't tuned into it. | ||
| We're just not picking up that frequency. | ||
| That's very possible. | ||
| Isn't that what they were trying to achieve with the Hadron Collider? | ||
| Obviously studying black holes and whatnot, but the notion that they could control that explosion, like if they built one in space, they could control the explosion, and that explosion would actually be a portal or a wormhole? | ||
| Well, I don't know about that. | ||
| I know that the black hole thing was sort of a residual effect of trying to create the Higgs-Boson particle. | ||
| And what that is is a theoretical particle that only existed milliseconds after the Big Bang, which is also theoretical. | ||
| What they're basically doing is seeing what happens in the extreme conditions of the universe and trying to recreate it. | ||
| It's a trippy thing because You know, the idea is that they're not going to stop with this. | ||
| The idea is whatever findings they learned from the Large Hadron Collider will be applied to the next... | ||
| To the next giant device they built. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, when they first came up with atomic bombs, you know, that was the peak of science. | ||
| And since then, it's accelerated and gotten bigger and crazier. | ||
| And there's some shit I'm sure that they're working on right now that we can't even wrap our heads around. | ||
| Like, when you hear about quantum computing, or you're a computer guy, you're a... | ||
| I'm a geek squad member. | ||
| You're a geek web member. | ||
| Yeah, you're a bad motherfucker. | ||
| I can fix your modem. | ||
| When you hear about quantum computing, I have tried to, I've read many papers on quantum computing, and I take a deep breath and I read them again, and I take a deep breath and I read them again, and I try to wrap my fucking brain around exactly what they're saying, but it's so squirrely. | ||
| It's like, whoa, this is getting awful lot like magic. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not magic. | ||
| That's the beauty. | ||
| The notion that they're also going to control biology. | ||
| They're going to wrangle cells to do calculations instead of silicon. | ||
| And creating artificial leaves. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| This is the latest thing. | ||
| They've created an artificial leaf that actually has actual artificial photosynthesis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| Future of power. | ||
| Dude, yeah, the future of power. | ||
| I love that, you know, I thought disasters in Japan, not to bring this to a much lighter note, but I thought disasters in Japan would lead to a finely intelligent adult conversation, although I hate the term adult conversation, about energy in this country. | ||
| I thought maybe it would get us to solar and looking into photosynthesis and all that stuff. | ||
| And it hasn't at all. | ||
| You know what it's done? | ||
| It's started a scare fucking, scare tsunami. | ||
| You know, this whole country is terrified. | ||
| In Orange County, there's a fault line and there's a nuclear power plant right there. | ||
| What happens then? | ||
| That's what everybody's freaking out about. | ||
| It's fine to be scared by nuclear energy. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But channel that paranoia into creating positive technologies instead of relying on coal and deep sea drilling. | ||
| See, that would require enlightenment. | ||
| And we are children. | ||
| Human beings are as childish as we are allowed to be. | ||
| You know, and I see that every day. | ||
| I see that in having kids. | ||
| I see that in just in human being and lazy behavior. | ||
| People are as childish and indulgent as they have to be. | ||
| And that's why we're so fascinated when we hear about some Amazon tribe that goes out and gets their own fucking water with, you know, hollowed out coconuts and, you know, they fucking shoot monkeys with spear guns and that's what they eat, you know, like You read about that and you go, whoa, how resourceful. | ||
| What a grind they're putting. | ||
| There's no room for laziness in that culture. | ||
| These motherfuckers are out there doing it. | ||
| Because we know what's possible with human beings, but we also know how we are inclined to sloth. | ||
| It's so easy for people to just be like, who cares about Japan? | ||
| They're a bunch of faggots. | ||
| You know, it's so easy. | ||
| It's so easy to think like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| I have to listen. | ||
| I was watching a video of a guy squat on a mason jar and it popped in his ass. | ||
| What were you saying about that? | ||
| What were you saying? | ||
| That's the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen. | ||
| The one guy, one jar? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Right up there with Mr. Hands. | ||
| It's right up there. | ||
| Have we touched on – well, you mentioned something earlier that I wanted to get back to about what will we as a society accept from our government in terms of control when we revolt and all that stuff. | ||
| And I'm still amazed every damn flight I take when I look at the TSA procedures and I see people just standing in those X-ray boxes and just filling their bodies with gamma rays to prove that they're not a terrorist. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Do you do awful countdown? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I opt out. | |
| No, I opt out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get a pat down every time? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And there was just a study recently that they have to retest a whole bunch of machines because it was like 47% was the number. | ||
| More radiation was coming out per machine than what they estimated. | ||
| I don't need some dude getting a fucking image of myself on some box that he could send around. | ||
| You got a little dick, don't be lying. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would never lie. | ||
| If I were hung any better, I would be in jail because I would show it off every five seconds. | ||
| I liked the way you think. | ||
| Constantly depressed at the sad state of affairs down there. | ||
| There was a guy with a micropenis that I got in an argument with about male feminism. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And long story. | ||
| But the point is that, you know, it's become like a point of debate where like some guys have been upset at me. | ||
| Like, what is your issue with male feminism? | ||
| My issue is the same thing as women that are masculinisms, you know, or masculinists rather, you know. | ||
| I mean, any women who's only into men, like men power and man power, or even into it to the point where you're promoting it, just promote equality amongst human beings as far as the way we treat each other. | ||
| But there's something creepy about male feminists, and that's why I wanted you to pull up that video, Brian. | ||
| And I tweeted this yesterday. | ||
| It's by these guys that call themselves the conscious men, okay? | ||
| And it is like an apology and like a manifesto I'll read the description. | ||
| An apology on behalf of men or an apology to women? | ||
| Apology to women and on behalf of men to women because they are conscious and they were trying to get in touch with their femininity. | ||
| I've never seen a bigger group of what look like date rapists and creeps and just annoying fucking weak ass bitches. | ||
| Have you been to Comic Con? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| Is it different? | ||
| Is it worse? | ||
| Watch this, though. | ||
| You must see this. | ||
| You have to see this. | ||
| For folks living, don't listen to me, no matter what I say. | ||
| Even if you agree with me, I'm an idiot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen to this. | |
| By the way, the man talking, his name is Gay Hendricks. | ||
| We also feel deep sorrow about the destructive actions of the unconscious masculine in the past and present. | ||
| We want to apologize and make amends for those actions today so that we can move forward together into a new era of cooperation. | ||
| Are they peeing on a spoon? | ||
| What is that sound in the background? | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| It's a fountain, bro. | ||
| They're calm. | ||
| They're enlightened. | ||
| Why listen to the music? | ||
|
unidentified
|
In me, in you, and in all of life. | |
| I know that we all have access to the full spectrum of these energies. | ||
| If you see this guy, you realize how fucking creepy this sounds. | ||
| This has got to be a vital for Skittles. | ||
| I admit it, I can only think about Kevin Ripon living in Munn at the park with his big dick. | ||
| This was the music I'd play when we were doing that. | ||
| Look at these guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at these guys. | |
| I know that in order to truly honor you as a multidimensional woman, I must stand fully present with myself and own the gifts I have to show. | ||
| I bought drugs from him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Rapist. | ||
| By nurturing each other in a conscious way. | ||
| Clearly, look at his eyes. | ||
| He's got an ankle bracelet. | ||
| Or two. | ||
| And by worshipping the divinity expressed in the masculine and the feminine energies. | ||
| That guy's full of shit. | ||
| That guy's just looking for pussy. | ||
| Look at his little smile at the end. | ||
| These all look like people that went to a camp to pray their gay away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like that stare in the eyes. | ||
| They all just... | ||
| This guy's reformed. | ||
| He's totally into pussy now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is that from Wicker Man? | ||
| It's a woman burning at the stake. | ||
| They're showing a woman burning. | ||
| It's like women burning at the cross. | ||
| Here's what you don't understand, fucko. | ||
| That burning at the cross thing was explained. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Relegated you to subservient chores? | |
| Force you to hide your faces and even cut off your organs of sexual pleasure. | ||
| Well, that I kind of agree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I like that one. | |
| It's getting a little extreme, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm aware of the forces of the unconscious masculine psyche. | |
| Pouty lips. | ||
| This guy does not have a masculine psyche. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Many of the men who have oppressed... | |
| He has this guy's masculine psyche in his mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Among the living, many men may not be able to apologize because they remain shackled in a prison of anger, fear, and shame. | |
| You're a shitty poet, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
On behalf of my gender, I apologize to you. | |
| Don't you say shit on my behalf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When we were angry, scared. | |
| And in the grip of destructive forces in our psyche. | ||
| I choose to no longer contribute to those forces. | ||
| This room smells like it's wood paneled and stained with tears and blood now. | ||
| Smells like faggotry, it's not good. | ||
| Is that the poker player guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this the most ridiculous shit ever? | |
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Oh my god, it's Brody Stevens. | ||
| Does this end with an invite? | ||
| Black guy! | ||
| This has got to end with an invite to a drum circle. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He just got done selling meth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Stay in white! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I honor your deep connection to the Earth. | |
| Alright, so I have an innie now. | ||
| Is that the point? | ||
| My dick just crawled back into my stomach out of shame. | ||
| All these guys are willing to roofie you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We mistakenly believed that expansion would protect us from encroachment. | |
| And in the process, we violated the sanctity of the Earth. | ||
| Okay, stop it. | ||
| I can't even watch it. | ||
| Look. | ||
| I understand that they have good intentions, and I'm sure they're not really rapists. | ||
| But you've got to understand, folks, you're all what we would classify as weak-ass bitches. | ||
| And that's why you're feeling this way. | ||
| That's why you're feeling like you need to go out and save the world and make these women... | ||
| Look, women are going to be fine. | ||
| Yes, we should all be nice to women. | ||
| What are they doing other than making YouTube videos? | ||
| They're trying to look cool. | ||
| They're trying to get really broken women to like them. | ||
| The kind of women that, like, they can't attract them. | ||
| They're not interesting. | ||
| They're probably not successful. | ||
| They're not intelligent. | ||
| They're not swole. | ||
| They're not sexually attractive. | ||
| They probably have nothing going on. | ||
| No fucking sense of humor. | ||
| Those guys have a mistress that puts them in a diaper in a cage and whip them on the weekends. | ||
| I don't even think they have that. | ||
| That would be too exciting. | ||
| They have less than that. | ||
| I think they have that. | ||
| I think they pay for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Out the nose. | ||
| I think you're just fucking speculating at this point. | ||
| Well, aren't we all? | ||
| That's what the world is, right? | ||
| Let's speculate away. | ||
| But what they are is weak-ass bitches, and we don't need that. | ||
| What those men need is steaks and squats and boot camp and someone who gets them a fucking interest. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is, man. | ||
| So let's make an apology video on behalf of men for them. | ||
| We should. | ||
| That's what it should be. | ||
| We should. | ||
| Dear weak-ass bitches of the world. | ||
| Dear women. | ||
| Dear women who have been... | ||
| You know, compromised by these knuckleheads that try to pretend that men aren't men and women aren't women and there's some sort of a hybrid that you can be where you can appeal to the women and embrace your feminine energy. | ||
| Dear women. | ||
| I'm sorry you've had a Crate and Barrel magazine humping douchebag to walk over your whole life. | ||
| But I promise I will waltz into your bedroom, choke you during climax, and probably spit in your mouth. | ||
| If you can't gorilla fuck a chick, you better know some poetry. | ||
| That's the reality. | ||
| You better know how to write some shit down and make it rhyme. | ||
| You better know what kind of flower she likes. | ||
| You better be good at massages. | ||
| And if you're lucky, she'll let you... | ||
| And she'll probably barely be wet. | ||
| She'll later like a bag of sand. | ||
| She's not really into you, dude. | ||
| And wait for you to cook her salmon. | ||
| But her trainer might fuck the shit out of her. | ||
| I'll tell you that. | ||
| Her trainer might fuck her in a parking lot, man. | ||
| He might just whip out his fucking hog in a parking lot. | ||
| You never know, man. | ||
| Right on the Pilates machine. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Here's why. | ||
| You ready? | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| We're animals, okay? | ||
| We're not perfect. | ||
| Yeah, we're evolving. | ||
| Yeah, the ideal's great. | ||
| Be nice to people. | ||
| That's all good. | ||
| But here's what you also have to do. | ||
| You gotta be a fucking man. | ||
| If you want women to like you, you gotta be a man. | ||
| That's why you don't like dykes. | ||
| Why do you not like dykes? | ||
| Because they're weird. | ||
| They're not being a woman. | ||
| Even though she's a woman, what's not sexy about it? | ||
| Well, there's some weird thing there. | ||
| She's acting like a man. | ||
| Well, guess what, fuckhead? | ||
| Women think the same way about men who act like women. | ||
| Men want women. | ||
| Women want men. | ||
| It's really that goddamn simple. | ||
| You can't be some fucking hybrid to fill in the gaps and take... | ||
| You can't, actually. | ||
| Do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| I mean, who am I to tell you? | ||
| Science has evolved to where you can actually create the gap for yourself. | ||
| Chastity Bono. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| She's a man now. | ||
| I thought it was the girlfriend telling me to shut the fuck up, and she said, right on. | ||
| I was like, okay, cool. | ||
| She sent you a text? | ||
| Yeah, she texted me. | ||
| Oh no, I love that. | ||
| How long have you been dating your girl? | ||
| I think officially about two years now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Two years. | |
| To your pimp music. | ||
| So, you never dated Olivia Munn? | ||
| You were dating the whole time another girl. | ||
| What did you call Olivia Munn? | ||
| Munn. | ||
| Dicks in his mouth. | ||
| Were you in that apology video? | ||
| I think a lot of the internet always was kind of jealous of you. | ||
| We never dated. | ||
| Never dated. | ||
| Never messed around. | ||
| Oh, that's a distinctly different thing. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You're pretty lucky to do it. | ||
| You cannot mix those words. | ||
| You've got to treat them like they're your sisters, man. | ||
| I've never had a sister, and I swear to God, by the end of that run, I was like, I know exactly what it's like to have a sister. | ||
| Absolutely felt that way. | ||
| What does she smell like? | ||
| Vaginas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And flowers. | ||
| Dreams. | ||
| Wishes. | ||
| Burnt salmon. | ||
| Burnt salmon. | ||
| But you've been really successful over at G4. That whole network pretty much centers around a couple people, you and extended play people or whatever it's called nowadays. | ||
| But how did you even fall into that? | ||
| Because, I mean, when I first moved to California, I had no friends. | ||
| Zero friends. | ||
| And it was when the screensavers just moved to L.A. I had nothing to do. | ||
| I had no friends. | ||
| So I would just go to live tapings all the time. | ||
| Just for fun. | ||
| Because I was a huge nerd. | ||
| That was a cool show. | ||
| So I got to hang out with the Kevin Rose and Yoshi and all of them. | ||
| It was the only thing I did. | ||
| You were kind of looked at as the bad guy, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, from the tech TV side of things. | ||
| I was somehow lumped into the evil empire that came and absorbed this network. | ||
| Explain to everybody who doesn't know the history. | ||
| Alright, so there was a network called Tech TV based out of San Francisco, which I was a huge fan of. | ||
| And that was Screen Savers. | ||
| I used to watch that. | ||
| Screen Savers, Call for Help. | ||
| And what was the dude with the white hair that would review games? | ||
| Leo. | ||
| No, you're talking about Adam Sessler. | ||
| Adam Sessler? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, he's still on G4. He's on X-Play, our game show. | ||
| But there was this weird sort of buyout of Tech TV. It wasn't like some hostile takeover or anything like that. | ||
| And unfortunately, I think that at the time, the merger was mismanaged. | ||
| My network interests were buying distribution and not buying content, and that was the problem. | ||
| And so it was just sort of like, okay, we have all this distribution now. | ||
| Let's just merge these networks and we'll figure it out and let it fly. | ||
| So unfortunately, I got stuck in a situation where they were transitioning a show that I loved, The Screensavers, into this other show without thinking that the audience might not like that. | ||
| You turn on the dial one day and it's the same time, the same kind of program, but it's a different name with some of the nerdiest stuff stripped out and all that stuff. | ||
| And so it got a lot of bad blood, which unfortunately still exists today on the internet. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I always tell people when I meet them that we're tech TV fans that go like... | ||
| Screensavers. | ||
| I go, listen, dude, I love that show, too. | ||
| And I hope that people realize now it is a different show. | ||
| And unfortunately, the transition was rough and awkward, and I still take lumps for it all the time when I go out. | ||
| What are they upset about the most? | ||
| You said that the geekier elements were taken away? | ||
| They took away everybody. | ||
| One of the coolest things is that before it all happened, the screensavers used to have webcams. | ||
| They just put all webcams in. | ||
| And the day it happened, Alex put on this image, which is Alex saying goodbye everyone. | ||
| And pretty much everyone on the internet found out about it first. | ||
| What's crazy is though, I had the same hat. | ||
| As him and the same shirt as him. | ||
| So I put TSS is canceled under it and I had the same outfit and same hat on there and that got around the internet. | ||
| So everyone thought at first the screensaver was canceled and stuff like that. | ||
| As a scam? | ||
| As a troll. | ||
| As a troll. | ||
| You don't know how fucked up this guy is. | ||
| Let me tell you one of the things he did. | ||
| He owned PepsiSpice.com. | ||
| When Pepsi Spice came out, Pepsi Spice was like this innovative new beverage. | ||
| It's Pepsi, but it's spicy. | ||
| Well, this asshole found out that Pepsi Spice hadn't gotten their own domain. | ||
| They didn't secure So Brian starts a daily blog on Pepsi Spice about going on a Pepsi Spice-only diet and he starts… Where I was only allowed to drink Pepsi Spice and then deteriorate your body. | ||
| It's fucking horrible. | ||
| Tell people what it is. | ||
| Is it still up anywhere? | ||
| No. | ||
| I took it down because Pepsi said they were going to sue me or something like that. | ||
| But it lasted. | ||
| I said in 30 days I'm only going to have Pepsi Spice. | ||
| So it started off where, you know, the first couple of days, I'm like, I'm really hungry, but, you know, whatever. | ||
| Then it became like I started getting open sores. | ||
| I was fucking pissing blood. | ||
| And then it got to bad where I was like... | ||
| Oh, my dick is falling off. | ||
| I was losing like 10 pounds a day or something like that. | ||
| By the way, this is like 2000, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| This was a while ago. | ||
| A long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, it was probably like 2004 or something like that. | ||
| Was it 2004? | ||
| Were you here? | ||
| Yeah, I was here. | ||
| When I had nothing to do with it except go to the screensavers. | ||
| Joe? | ||
| No, thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll get on. | |
| But what's crazy is that I even had radio interviews. | ||
| They interviewed me on radio stations because they thought it was real. | ||
| And then Pepsi started getting contacted me saying they're threatening me. | ||
| So I made my character die and I took it down. | ||
| But you can find it still on Google Cash and stuff. | ||
| But you know the other thing- How does that work? | ||
| Does Google Cash work? | ||
| Google Cache is kind of like what's, you know, RSS feeds. | ||
| They grab your website. | ||
| Well, it's not like an RSS feed. | ||
| They go out and they crawl your site, whether you put it out there or not. | ||
| And so when they crawl your pages looking for keywords and images or whatever, they're caching all that shit. | ||
| They're saving the entire internet. | ||
| So they basically have the whole internet saved? | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| To an extent, yeah. | ||
| They really kind of do. | ||
| A lot of broken images, though. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But, yeah, definitely. | ||
| Have you done the internet way back machine? | ||
| Yeah, that's internet archive. | ||
| Yeah, internet archive. | ||
| The way back machine is so fun. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| It saves kind of a thing based off the cache. | ||
| It saves snapshots of sites. | ||
| There's broken images and whatnot, but you can go back and look at Yahoo back in the day. | ||
| If you had an old website, you can go back and look at it. | ||
| I had a new website in 98. That was my first website. | ||
| Thank God YouTube wasn't around when I was 10 years old. | ||
| Your old website's on there. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Your old website's on there. | ||
| But this is a question I wanted to ask you because you used to work with Laura Foy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was her PA. Laura who? | ||
| Laura Foy. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Really hot blonde chick that used to be on a really cool show with – I Scott Rubin and Tina Wood. | ||
| It's called G4TV.com. | ||
| Scott Rubin does this live. | ||
| Anyways, she forgot one day that her webcam, right when they put on webcams, so I caught her all these times just sucking her thumb and she didn't know the webcam was on. | ||
| Is this something that she openly did around the office? | ||
| I even got photos of her when she found out that the webcam was on. | ||
| What you're supposed to do, dude, is not let that out and find her. | ||
| And put honey on your dick. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to do. | ||
| I think Foy would rather have the thumb-sucking photos online than suck honey off a member personally. | ||
| You don't know that. | ||
| She might be really into that, man. | ||
| I'd be willing to put money on it, actually. | ||
| Oh, you're so wrong. | ||
| I guarantee you she's a freak. | ||
| Sucking her thumb in front of a webcam? | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| She's hoping the FBI is tuning into that. | ||
| She's sending that message. | ||
| When you're sitting there sucking thumb, you're sucking a cock, okay? | ||
| If you're not three, you're sucking a cock. | ||
| Remember when Kat Swartz put out a bunch of photos and then somebody learned about the thumbnail being saved in Photoshop? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Who's Kat Schwartz? | ||
| Kat Schwartz used to be also on the screen savers. | ||
| Also, like, I personally signed pink slips or some shit. | ||
| Did you see that right there? | ||
| I didn't see that. | ||
| She used to also be on, like, it's my fault. | ||
| Someone's a little sensitive. | ||
| He's a little sensitive. | ||
| He is very sensitive. | ||
| That's not what I meant. | ||
| You are reacting to all the vile from the internet. | ||
| I'm actually pretty good friends with Kat and her baby's daddy and everything. | ||
| Baby's daddy works for South Park. | ||
| Is she the girl that was on... | ||
| She did Playboy or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| This is what she did. | ||
| She released some photos of herself, like model photos, and they were not... | ||
| Not nude. | ||
| Not nude. | ||
| Artsy photos taken by a friend. | ||
| But what happens is when you put it in Photoshop, it saves a thumbnail of the photo inside the information of the data inside the photo. | ||
| Each photo has data in it. | ||
| A lot of times it has GPS information or it has... | ||
| What camera was taken on with the settings where there's extra data in addition to just the image. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So she cropped it before she put it on the internet, but it saved the original as a thumbnail. | ||
| So when she released all these photos, people found out that they opened it up in Photoshop. | ||
| The preview showed the full original photo of her naked. | ||
| And so there was all these photos of Kat naked, which was awesome for her. | ||
| Kind of like Paris Hilton to her career. | ||
| But some of them were not the most flattering of her. | ||
| So explain this to me again. | ||
| What happens is the original images were naked and she adjusted them. | ||
| Photoshop had a feature where you could publish a web gallery, publish it directly to the web. | ||
| It's been a long while, but I think that's how the story went. | ||
| So it actually published layers that were shut off and she had cropped one and again the thumbnail was sort of saved of the full image even though she cropped it within the program. | ||
| Oh, so how did they access it? | ||
| They opened it up in Photoshop to look at it, and the information transferred over in Photoshop so you could see the preview. | ||
| So then she just pretty much leaked all these naked photos. | ||
| She should sue the fuck out of Photoshop for her own ignorance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It benefited her. | |
| There was a program that would look at people's photo bucket accounts back in the day and then procedurally change the file names looking for files that were sort of hidden or not publicized. | ||
| And so many girls had private photos that they were storing or sending to their long distance boyfriends exposed just by crawling that. | ||
| There were so many cool things back in the day when the internet was still, like, people were still figuring out. | ||
| When the barrier to entry was high, the internet was fucking dope. | ||
| Like, I'll never forget the bulletin board days where you had to, like, know how to do a dial-out telex program and call some shady dude's computer in a basement who was hosting porn and wears games and all that stuff. | ||
| We were talking about... | ||
| That's all well and good, but it's way better today. | ||
| That's all nonsense. | ||
| Well, kind of. | ||
| It's very nostalgic to go back to those bulletin board days on a 14.4 Mono. | ||
| It's awesome, man. | ||
| It was Pavlovian. | ||
| Pavlovian. | ||
| I would hear those noises and immediately get erect. | ||
| Because I knew that meant porn was coming. | ||
| Remember, we were talking about Wetrics, how we were both Dreamcast fans, but remember going on AOL's message boards and stuff and getting every single video game possible burnt onto a disc. | ||
| I used IRC for that. | ||
| It was the best for Dreamcast games. | ||
| You ever go into IRC rooms? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's where the real creepy shit's going. | ||
| Yeah, well, I used to be a big Quake player, so I used to get on IRC all the time. | ||
| Were you in the room when they released Q-Test 1? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, no, that was Quake 1. I was in Quake 1. I came in at Quake 2. Yeah, and I followed it through Quake 3 and into Quake 4. Quake 4 is when I realized how to stop and grow up. | ||
| Now it's like Quake Arena on a web browser. | ||
| Yeah, Quake Arena is a shit. | ||
| All of it is fucking fun as hell, man. | ||
| But it's all just super time-consuming. | ||
| We've talked about it a hundred times on this podcast. | ||
| It's for the drinking game. | ||
| Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake. | ||
| Ha ha. | ||
| We're blacking out. | ||
| Yeah, you're drunk now, bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We mentioned Quake. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Next thing you know... | ||
| So Google TV, dude. | ||
| Yeah, tell me about... | ||
| Yes, please. | ||
| You need to get in on it. | ||
| Explain me this. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| So... | ||
| We were in the kitchen. | ||
| You popped this up and I made you stop talking because I'm like, this is too good. | ||
| Threat me with a butter knife. | ||
| I'm like, you have to stop. | ||
| We need to talk about this on the podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| Google is going to try to own the living room, and it's going to be them, Apple, potentially Comcast, Time Warner, and a few others that are really going to be making the play for being the gateway to media. | ||
| And Google is crushing it right now. | ||
| Basically, Google TV, you can buy – I have the Logitech review box, and it has an HDMI pass-through. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| That means if you have a cable box or a satellite box, you connect that. | ||
| Instead of going directly to the TV or your receiver, you plug that into the Logitech box. | ||
| Then that goes to your TV. And what that does, which no other box really does, is gives you ability to layer information on top of your TV. All these other boxes, you've got to switch to another input, and you lose the TV side of things, and it's a different experience, and then you go back to your TV. This one, at any given time, you have an argument about, oh, what was that actor in that went... | ||
| Boom. | ||
| You hit the search button on your iPhone, your Android phone, or the keyboard. | ||
| Type it in. | ||
| There's IMDB up and running while your stuff's in a picture-in-picture window. | ||
| You want access to podcasts and videocasts? | ||
| You hit the home button. | ||
| Go to their spotlight. | ||
| There's actually a website that's doing an app where you watch models go down a runway, and it tells you about, like, the fashion they're wearing. | ||
| And if you want, you press OK, and it pulls up the website. | ||
| While the video's still going, you can order it right from there. | ||
| On your TV? On your TV. And it's got a full web. | ||
| The box is a little underpowered. | ||
| It's like a little netbook in there. | ||
| It's a little underpowered. | ||
| But this, as a step one, is fucking amazing. | ||
| Is there one that's coming out soon that's a better one? | ||
| Or is there a better Google TV than the other? | ||
| Is the Sony one the best? | ||
| I think the Logitech is a little better than the Sony because of the remotes and the apps themselves. | ||
| But as long as content providers don't completely fuck this platform over, which they're trying to do left and right because they're all so scared, it will be amazing. | ||
| How are they trying to fuck it over? | ||
| By blocking their content. | ||
| Who's doing this? | ||
| I don't know if I can name names. | ||
| Name names. | ||
| Let's boycott. | ||
| Let's start a fucking revolution, Kevin. | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| I wanted to watch a South Park episode the other day, and I went and pulled up South Park's website. | ||
| Now, again, if I had my laptop, I could pull it up right there and watch the full high-def South Park episode, sit through commercials or whatever would be right there. | ||
| When I tried to pull it up on my TV, it popped up and said, Oh, you're trying to access this from a Google TV device. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Wait, is that Comcast? | ||
| You're blocked right now. | ||
| No, it was South Park, so I think that's Viacom. | ||
| I think I'm safe to make fun of them. | ||
| So Viacom blocks it. | ||
| So does Hulu, which is fucking frustrating. | ||
| Oh, that's so annoying. | ||
| Because the same ads, their worry is that the Google experience is too good. | ||
| You're sitting on your couch and this content that's for free on the internet is easily accessible. | ||
| And I go, well, it's the same ads and the same content that I'd have if I turned over here. | ||
| If you had a Mac Mini hooked up your TV. Yeah, and use my laptop or use my whatever. | ||
| Someone over there is not getting it. | ||
| I'm willing to sit through the ad. | ||
| I'm willing to make it worth your while. | ||
| It's like when I try to go watch a movie these days. | ||
| I don't know if you've... | ||
| I tried to legally acquire content now. | ||
| I actually tried it the other day. | ||
| I wanted to watch Jurassic Park. | ||
| So I checked my Xbox. | ||
| I checked my video on demand. | ||
| I checked the Sony network. | ||
| I checked Netflix. | ||
| I checked Amazon. | ||
| I went through service after service and finally said fuck it. | ||
| I went and looked at BitTorrent. | ||
| There was the high def rip. | ||
| There was the Blu-ray rip with all the extras. | ||
| I clicked and an hour later I'm watching it on my TV. I tried to give somebody money for that movie and was unable to. | ||
| Same shit happened to me the other two. | ||
| It's basically the old guard that hasn't really accepted the new technology. | ||
| Yeah, it's this new thing and they're scared of it. | ||
| Jurassic Park, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Jurassic Park, that should be on Netflix streaming. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I mean, that should be everywhere. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| When you get Google TV, man, it will surprise you. | ||
| It's that good. | ||
| It's really that good. | ||
| It's very frustrating that people are blocking content, though. | ||
| Super frustrating. | ||
| I mean, look, there's ways around it, but... | ||
| Is there a reason? | ||
| Do they have a legitimate argument? | ||
| Is there a Bill Burr RSS feed interaction here? | ||
| No, there's nothing that makes sense, just like that argument. | ||
| They're worried that, again, the experience is too good. | ||
| We can't just give that content away. | ||
| How can we charge extra for that content? | ||
| Like Hulu says they're working with Google. | ||
| They're going to try to charge for Hulu Plus on the Google TV or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fuckery. | |
| It's nickel and diming left and right. | ||
| Do you pay for Google TV? Is it a subscription-based service or is it free? | ||
| See, that's the beauty of it. | ||
| Google TV is free. | ||
| Itself is free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's terrifying. | |
| And it's a great overlay. | ||
| If we really found out that artificial intelligence actually does exist and what it is is Google and that Google figured out a way to fucking program the universe and own everything, I mean, it's so weird. | ||
| I use a Google Chrome browser. | ||
| I use Gmail. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
| It's going to be Apple and Google. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And that's going to be the big fight for all of your data and all your media access and all your management. | ||
| Maybe Google, Amazon. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| It's going to be right in there. | ||
| Did you see the onion bit about Facebook being created by the CIA as a data mining tool? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fucking brilliant. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| They basically said that Facebook was launched as a secret program and it took off wildly successful. | ||
| They never imagined that citizens would give up all their photos, their likes, their dislikes, where they are, their check-ins, check-outs. | ||
| It's like, imagine... | ||
| Forget Google. | ||
| That's the data set that's scary as shit. | ||
| What's that Google longitude or whatever where it just tracks you all day? | ||
| That's even worse to me. | ||
| Street View. | ||
| We were talking about Street View. | ||
| Longitude. | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's where your phone pretty much tells your friends exactly where you are. | ||
| You could track your girlfriend exactly driving down the street and it's just sending it to Google. | ||
| It's a great idea, right? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird how it's just creeping up on us. | ||
| If it leads to better ads in my email, cool. | ||
| But it's just amazing how fucking ambitious Google is. | ||
| They're so ambitious. | ||
| I mean, the do this and the browser. | ||
| And cars that drive themselves. | ||
| Aren't they working on an operating system? | ||
| They already have Chromium. | ||
| It's based on Chrome, yeah. | ||
| And Honeycomb for tablets, which is going to be awesome. | ||
| Their operating system is available right now? | ||
| You can download Chromium for certain netbooks. | ||
| Have you tried it? | ||
| Yeah, it's not where it needs to be net. | ||
| The idea is that in the future, cloud computing is going to lead to... | ||
| I mean, we're going to laugh at the fact that this has a processor, that has a processor, that computer behind you has RAM and chips in it. | ||
| We're going to laugh at that. | ||
| What a waste of resources. | ||
| It's going to be... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Your phone's going to be streaming, right? | ||
| Basically, yeah. | ||
| Basically, all you need is whatever technology needs to happen to stream a high-def signal at 60 or 30 to 60 frames a second to whatever device there is. | ||
| So the idea is that in the future, you'll just have a screen or you'll walk into a hotel, you'll sit at a terminal, you'll punch in your info or it'll scan your retina or you'll pee in a cup, however they'll do it, and all of a sudden, your desktop appears like that. | ||
| All of your shit's on it. | ||
| You leave. | ||
| You pick up your phone. | ||
| Your desktop appears on it. | ||
| That's the future of cloud computing. | ||
| Everything's going to be stored and processed in servers that we don't see because it'll be beamed quick enough, and it already exists today. | ||
| And Phantom's going to bring it to you. | ||
| Phantom? | ||
| Phantom? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a vaporware console. | ||
| But if you look at OnLive, which is a gaming service, it's not quite there yet, but the idea is that you buy one box. | ||
| Did you guys just geek the fuck out? | ||
| Shit, yeah. | ||
| You did, right? | ||
| I just want to check. | ||
| Phantom was supposed to be a console that would sit in your living room and pull games out of the cloud, essentially. | ||
| And you'd never have to buy a disc or whatever, and you could play from the comfort of your couch. | ||
| It's like streaming video games. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was fast enough, supposedly, to be able to play where there's no drop in frame rate, where you could actually, you know... | ||
| And that was all bullshit. | ||
| That was all a money laundering scheme so some dude could crash Ferraris down to Payton Canyon or whatever. | ||
| Oh, is that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I remember that. | ||
| But there's a company called OnLive that is one of many. | ||
| There's another app called Gaiku. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard that was pretty legit. | |
| We used it the other day, and it's got its hiccups, but imagine when you log in a service, you'd see thousands of Windows streaming Call of Duty and streaming Gears of War and all this stuff, and you can go and click on it, and those are actually people playing live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And you're spectating all their games and they're all streaming in real time. | ||
| And if you want to play the game they're playing, you press a button. | ||
| It pulls you out of it and launches you right into that game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That exists today. | ||
| Now it's not a 5 out of 5 just yet. | ||
| What is it now? | ||
| 4? | ||
| 3? | ||
| Probably 3. 2 or 3. I think is what we gave it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But the promise is there. | ||
| So that's what Google's trying to do with Chromium. | ||
| They're trying to make this operating system where you don't store shit locally. | ||
| It's all Google Docs and Google Paint and Google Image Video Editor and all that shit. | ||
| It's all going to live in the cloud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They're so ambitious. | ||
| It's so creepy. | ||
| They're right. | ||
| They're absolutely right on that one. | ||
| Microsoft always creeped me out, too. | ||
| Bill Gates always creeped me out. | ||
| Anyone who's that ambitious, trying that hard, come on, man. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Why does that creep you out? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because they have so many different products and they're so successful. | ||
| You're very ambitious. | ||
| Not in that way. | ||
| I don't want to control anybody else's information. | ||
| The thing that always bugs me, here's a perfect example, like the iPad or the iPhone. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I made a video a long time ago where it pretty much broke down one of the two iPhones. | ||
| And you guys actually played it on your show. | ||
| Remember when I had the – I'm an old iPhone and I'm an old cell phone from three years ago. | ||
| And it was like I have a camera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you and Jessica did that. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was a pretty big video and stuff like that. | ||
| But it was based on basic things like the iPad where the first iPad didn't have a camera. | ||
| The second one has a camera and stuff like that. | ||
| There's so many things. | ||
| Do you think that Apple is actually doing that on purpose? | ||
| Is that a part of their market? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| They'll do the research and do enough focus groups to find out what features they have to include to make it amazing, palatable, magical, revolutionary, whatever. | ||
| And then they'll go, okay, the next version will have all these things. | ||
| Just like when this launched without picture messaging and all sorts of stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They know what the consumer is willing to put up with, especially those early adopters. | ||
| That picture messaging thing was bullshit. | ||
| Typing in the code, yeah. | ||
| That was the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
| Go to AT&T, wireless dot whatever, and put in this login and this password. | ||
| And it was a tiny ass little image too. | ||
| It wasn't a full image. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| What's ridiculous to me, and not to get on a nerdy rant, but that's all I really have to offer this world, is the fucking fact that if, let's say I have Verizon. | ||
| And I'm paying $40 a month for their data plan, and AT&T's no better. | ||
| And then if I want to tether that phone to my laptop to use this as a modem, I've got to pay an extra fee, but it still eats away at the bandwidth that I'm paying $40 for. | ||
| Is that because the FCC and senators don't realize that it's all the same bandwidth? | ||
| No, I think it's Verizon making money. | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| Verizon's kind of shitty with their fucking... | ||
| Can't we get that changed? | ||
| AT&T does the same. | ||
| They charge you extra to tether, but it's the same bandwidth that I'm paying monthly for. | ||
| I shouldn't get doubly screwed to use that. | ||
| Their data service is not very good. | ||
| I had an AT&T phone of iPhone, and then I got a Verizon iPhone recently. | ||
| And one thing I noticed is that I'll have a full 3G signal on Verizon, and then I'll start downloading something, like an app or something, and it'll kick off 3G. AT&T's data is better than Verizon. | ||
| Have you seen their LTE network? | ||
| Long-term evolution? | ||
| No. | ||
| That shit is fast. | ||
| Yeah, that's new, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's wireless. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| Verizon's is out. | ||
| No, but I mean where? | ||
| Can you get it everywhere? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't know about here. | ||
| You can get in Los Angeles. | ||
| Is it pretty common? | ||
| Spotty? | ||
| Spotty. | ||
| By the end of the year. | ||
| HTC Thunderbolt has that, right? | ||
| That looks pretty badass. | ||
| Even in our little studio, which is like, it's kryptonite to all signals. | ||
| It's a little shoebox. | ||
| But in there, the LTE was as fast as a cable modem was. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That is, again, the whole net neutrality thing that I'm worried about. | ||
| You'll buy a Verizon wireless LTE router for your home, and you'll wirelessly pull down your bandwidth and share it with everybody else because it's that fast now, wireless. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's a lot of things I have to change with cell phones, though. | ||
| Batteries. | ||
| Palm Pre Plus I got stuck with with Verizon. | ||
| I went out so bad, and it's going to cost me now $350 to cancel. | ||
| And I've had it for a year and a half, almost a year, and I just want to cancel. | ||
| I just... | ||
| Yeah, that phone seemed real promising before it actually came out, and I was like, well, it's kind of shitty and wonky. | ||
| They dropped it. | ||
| Dude, I got a new Droid, a Droid 2 Global, because I love Verizon service. | ||
| I had a Blackberry before, and I wanted to get Verizon service, but I wanted it to be global. | ||
| So I said, oh, well, here's a solution. | ||
| All these people love the Droid. | ||
| I mean, I heard Howard Stern talking about how he loves his Droid. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| It's like a drunk, retarded iPhone. | ||
| It's like stupid. | ||
| The first time I used it, I go to slide the screen to open it up, and it's like shake, stutter, shake, stutter, shake, stutter. | ||
| I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It doesn't even know how to harness how much power it has. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's scared by its own abilities. | ||
| I played with it for 20 minutes and the battery was half drained. | ||
| I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. | ||
| I mean, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Like, I can't even fuck around and just play with it. | ||
| I went online, I checked what it looks like on websites, I checked my email. | ||
| 20 minutes and it was half dead. | ||
| I was like, that's just preposterous. | ||
| And people are like, oh no, you've got to get an application command... | ||
| Yeah, power command and shut off this and do this. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| It's like, I don't want to hack my devices anymore. | ||
| I just want them to work. | ||
| And that's the fundamental difference. | ||
| There's so many people that have this thing about... | ||
| Fuck, jailbreaking, man. | ||
| That's too complicated. | ||
| There's so many people, though, that have this anti-Apple sentiment. | ||
| These threads come up on my message board all the time, and it's so dumb. | ||
| It's the dumbest conversation ever. | ||
| Everyone's like, match up for bags. | ||
| That's the number one argument. | ||
| If I was a fucking fag and I could use a Mac, I don't know how to use a real computer. | ||
| To be fair, if you want to bypass the line at the Genius Bar, you can by swallowing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's a little known thing. | ||
| What about girls? | ||
| It's AppleCare. | ||
| What about those girls at the Genius Bar? | ||
| Do you swallow them too? | ||
| Swallow whatever they've got? | ||
| Whatever you've got. | ||
| It's a crap shoot. | ||
| I'm a hardcore Unix guy. | ||
| Command lines only. | ||
| Switch to Windows. | ||
| I was a network administrator back in the day. | ||
| When I switch to Mac, I'm like, listen, shit works. | ||
| And if I really want to drill down and get deep, I can pop open a terminal window and do whatever I need to do. | ||
| The people that are anti-Mac, just like the Mac people who are anti-PC, it's all fucking stupid. | ||
| It's a dumb team thing. | ||
| And the Macs are the liberals. | ||
| The Macs are the weak pussies. | ||
| And then for Macs, the PCs are all Sarah Palin's. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same thing with consoles. | ||
| PlayStation owners are like, fuck you, 360 fanboy. | ||
| Xbox owners are like, PlayStation's for douchebags. | ||
| No one wants to be wrong. | ||
| No one wants to admit that they might have bought the console that has a problem or spent money on a game that had a problem. | ||
| They don't want to be right. | ||
| And it's like, you know what? | ||
| You're not going to be right all the time. | ||
| It's with everything. | ||
| It's Protestant versus the Catholics. | ||
| That whole Mac versus PC thing is such a strange one, though, to me. | ||
| I wonder how many people, whether they're politicians or people trying to appeal to a certain class of society, will choose a PC over a Mac to let you know, hey, I'm a part of the proletariat. | ||
| Like Obama saying, hey, I got an iPad. | ||
| When he made a big deal out of that. | ||
| He's like, I use an iPad. | ||
| I'm a president of the United States. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Must be, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sending a message. | ||
| This is a higher-end president. | ||
| This is a more connected… A multi-touch sensitive. | ||
| He was the first president to bring a laptop to the White House. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I remember he wouldn't give up his Blackberry at the time, which I thought was cool. | ||
| Yeah, because it wasn't secure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, one thing I wish the iPad had was I can't believe it doesn't have his multiple users. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate it. | |
| I hate it when people want to, like, borrow my iPad. | ||
| I'm like, okay, I'm logged into Facebook, Twitter, email, everything. | ||
| You mean girls. | ||
| You mean girls. | ||
| Why doesn't that... | ||
| That seems like a basic thing that I should have by now. | ||
| This is what you say. | ||
| Listen, bitch, get your own. | ||
| That's what you gotta say. | ||
| You gotta fuck her correctly, okay? | ||
| Leave her all panting and sweating. | ||
| Then she goes, can I use your iPad? | ||
| You go... | ||
| Listen, bitch, you know I love you. | ||
| Get your own fucking iPad. | ||
| And she'll giggle, ha-ha, and she'll drop it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because you fucked her correctly, Brian. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Is that therein lies the issue? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Or get another iPad. | ||
| You can have mine. | ||
| You can fucking use it. | ||
| All right, deal. | ||
| You can give it to her. | ||
| Tell her she can use it as long as you're looking over her shoulder because she's in like a downward dog position and you're behind her. | ||
| Then you can play all the fucking dungeon raid you want. | ||
| Did you learn to play the drums using rock band or have you always been a drummer? | ||
| Self-taught. | ||
| Been drumming for a while. | ||
| Have you been in a band before? | ||
| Several. | ||
| Several shitty bands. | ||
| Jazz bands, hardcore rap metal bands. | ||
| Jazz bands? | ||
| Everything, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What kind of jazz? | ||
| You name it. | ||
| I mean, we did Take Five. | ||
| What bands have the biggest percentage of douchebags in them? | ||
| What music? | ||
| I mean, they all do. | ||
| It just depends on what douchebag you are. | ||
| Christian rock. | ||
| Jars of clay are fucking hardcore. | ||
| Christian rock rules, dude. | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| They all have douchebags in them, but I think... | ||
| That's the number one issue, though, with bands, right? | ||
| I mean, Eddie Bravo has been in bands his whole life, and he said the number one issue has always been dealing with trying to manage all the egos in the band. | ||
| It's like herding cats, and that's what kills so many bands. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not... | |
| Herding cats. | ||
| It is! | ||
| Running around like mad. | ||
| You can't hurt cats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't. | |
| It's perfect. | ||
| And I've seen that with many bands that I've been in, but it's just, man, it's fucking hard to make music these days. | ||
| As easy as it gets, with distribution and the tools to make it, it's still really fucking hard to make good music these days. | ||
| Has that always been your dream, to be in a band? | ||
| I would quit it all in a second. | ||
| I'd quit everything in a second to go make music for a living. | ||
| Would you? | ||
| Of life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Theoretically, yes, but obviously I haven't done that yet. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
| I'm 28. Oh, you're still okay. | ||
| Nah, I'm done. | ||
| I got no tread on my tires. | ||
| No, dude, you're young. | ||
| If you were 38, I would go, ooh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Good luck. | ||
| I have music. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I fancy myself a non-judgmental person, but I fucking judge people when they look at me and tell me that they don't appreciate music. | ||
| And I've met a surprising number of them recently. | ||
| Who tells you they don't appreciate music? | ||
| I know a lot of people who say, like, I just don't get music. | ||
| Explain. | ||
| Give me one. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't want to hear your songs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want me to suck your dick or what? | |
| I ain't here to listen to your music. | ||
| That's the kind of hooker Kevin gets too. | ||
| A really whiny hooker that doesn't like the house music I blast. | ||
| That's a crackhead Hugh Grant type hooker. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| That girl became famous for a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After Hugh Grant got that blowjob. | ||
| So what like... | ||
| Explain. | ||
| I've met people that will say they're not into music and I don't get that because to me it's a universal language just as much math but I think even more so than math. | ||
| It's inherent. | ||
| There should be a love or a sense or an understanding of rhythm. | ||
| There's something special about it. | ||
| There's something unique about it that we're not really addressing. | ||
| It changes the way your physical body feels. | ||
| It makes you more excited. | ||
| It does things to you. | ||
| It inspires you. | ||
| It makes you feel good. | ||
| It brings you back to moments of your childhood. | ||
| It's one of the most incredible forms of art that we have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would agree. | |
| And it's so weird. | ||
| And the science behind some of it. | ||
| I wanted to know why house music was something that persistent thump got me up and made me want to move. | ||
| And it seems to move some people and whatnot. | ||
| And it's like lower end frequencies are triggered to primal portions of our brain that we're sensitive to hearing approaching animals and elephant herds and all that stuff. | ||
| So it triggers that, oh, I better wake up, be alert, got to get going. | ||
| And so that persistent thump drives you and keeps you going. | ||
| There's so much craziness going on. | ||
| So tribal music literally fires up shit in your brain. | ||
| Wow, you should wake up to that in the morning. | ||
| I play Stampeding Elephants when I wake up. | ||
| That's all I listen to. | ||
| Dude, you need to get on a podcast with Eddie Bravo. | ||
| We need to have you and him together because he's got some crazy theories about music and the 12 notes and the 12 astrological signs. | ||
| Isn't there a 13th astrological sign? | ||
| I think we just found one, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it shifted people. | ||
| They were like, oh, my horoscopes have been wrong. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Yeah, let me Google that real quick. | ||
| But I like being a Leo. | ||
| I don't want to be a whatever... | ||
| I forget what I'm now with the new method. | ||
| Are you really something... | ||
| Different. | ||
| Yeah, it changed a lot of people. | ||
| You were a Leo before? | ||
| Of course, you're a Leo too. | ||
| We're both Leos. | ||
| Yeah, but what's yours? | ||
| What is your date? | ||
| August 4th and you're August 11th. | ||
| Yeah, you're not a real Leo, right? | ||
| I like to think Miss Cleo cut you off. | ||
| I'm still a Leo. | ||
| They cut you off, bitch. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| They cut you off, bitch. | ||
| I'm totally a Leo, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| Let me say August 10th. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| You're cut off, son, through September 16th. | ||
| You were August 9th? | ||
| Is that what you said? | ||
| August 4th. | ||
| August 4th. | ||
| It's over, bitch. | ||
| I know. | ||
| What do I know? | ||
| I'm like something gay. | ||
| You're cancer. | ||
| You guys subscribe to this? | ||
| I would be a cancer. | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I think Miss Cleo got a panel together in her ivory tower and said, listen, astrology is kind of losing the Google searches. | ||
| Let's create a new sign. | ||
| Sweat this new crafty one, though. | ||
| O-P-H-I-U-C-H-U-S. How's that spelled? | ||
| What do you say that? | ||
| How do you pronounce that? | ||
| That's the new one. | ||
| That's November 29th to December 17th. | ||
| So if you have that crafty new Zodiac sign. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know how the moon affects the ocean, right? | ||
| The tides and everything like that. | ||
| Have you ever thought that maybe the moon changes us? | ||
| Because we're like, what, 99% water? | ||
| Wouldn't it fuck with us too? | ||
| We would have some own tide and shit going on. | ||
| But is that a yearly thing? | ||
| Yeah, the moon cycle is a year. | ||
| That's what seasons is, right? | ||
| The real problem is it would have to be a real radical, drastic change for them to measure it. | ||
| Just because it changes the way you feel, statistically it might not show a significant jump as far as disease or heart attacks or assaults or anything crazy, because I don't think there's ever been anything statistically connected. | ||
| To lunar activity. | ||
| But when you hear something like lunatic, you hear the expression lunatic, and then it's connected to full moons. | ||
| That is lunar. | ||
| That is the moon. | ||
| I mean, that is ancient. | ||
| There's something to it. | ||
| There's something to it. | ||
| And it might be as simple as when the moon is out, people start freaking because you can see at night. | ||
| You can see at night. | ||
| It's a full moon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| I can see who I'm mugging. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I can see who I'm raving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be that easy. | ||
| It really could. | ||
| I mean, that's a big difference. | ||
| Or you grow up with imagery of, oh, full moon, and you hear that's when the crazies come out and the wolves howl, and you go, all right, now's my time. | ||
| Well, that's one of the things I was pissed off. | ||
| Let me throw on some MMA shirts and go punch some ladies. | ||
| The dear woman. | ||
| Fucking no-explode! | ||
| This Dear Woman thing, one of the things that pissed me off is the women, not crosses, excuse me, burning women at the stake, the witches, burning witches at the stake. | ||
| They've connected that to ergot. | ||
| They've connected that to fungus that grew on wheat because they had a late frost, and then it fucked up their crops, and the wheat was frozen. | ||
| And then when you have wheat that... | ||
| If you freeze food and then thaw it out and then freeze it again, it's really dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| Bacteria and all this other shit. | ||
| Yeah, and fungus. | ||
| And one of the things that they've shown in... | ||
| Grain samples from that era, from that time, the Salem witch trials, was that these fucking people were high on LSD. They didn't even know it. | ||
| They were eating ergot. | ||
| They were eating this bread that has this fungus on it, and it has a massive psychological effect. | ||
| So of course they thought there was rich craft. | ||
| Of course they thought they were under spell. | ||
| They were so confused. | ||
| They were high as fuck on LSD. Probably massive, crazy, almost psychotic doses. | ||
| Well, in daily doses, upon doses, upon doses. | ||
| I mean, that's not like that. | ||
| I mean, the half-life is there, but it'll compound in your system. | ||
| And by the way, there's modern versions of what the CIA did in France, where they dosed up an entire town. | ||
| They put it in their bread, and they monitored these people. | ||
| And dude, people died. | ||
| They committed suicide. | ||
| They jumped off buildings. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| People lost their fucking minds. | ||
| Some people never came back and they did this across the board. | ||
| They did this to children. | ||
| They did it to old people. | ||
| So we know that you can cause mass chaos and hysteria by just dosing everybody up with acid. | ||
| Back then, you didn't pass on bread. | ||
| There was no gluten intolerant. | ||
| You ate your bread because you might not get anything else to eat. | ||
| I'm self-beaching. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm just going to purge. | ||
| I'm cleansing. | ||
| Do you go crazy when you hear people cleansing? | ||
| I'm coming to cleanse. | ||
| Yeah, it's not for me. | ||
| Cayenne pepper and lemon juice. | ||
| That's all I got right now. | ||
| And I go to boot camp and then hate myself but buy a purse and throw up into it. | ||
| It's cleansing. | ||
| Everybody wants to fix what they've already fucked up. | ||
| I did that shit for seven days where you just drink lemon water, charcoal, and you can't eat anything. | ||
| Charcoal? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Charcoal is one of the things you have to do. | ||
| Before you do anything, you have to buy all this fucking shit from GNC. One of the things was charcoal, milk thistle, all this bullshit. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I guess it was so you don't die. | ||
| I think the charcoal maybe absorbs shit. | ||
| Don't they make you do that for poison? | ||
| I think for poison, yeah. | ||
| They absorb stuff. | ||
| I remember that for dogs. | ||
| When dogs eat something poisonous, you've got to make them eat a fucking briquette. | ||
| Whenever I'm at the grill, I crack a little one and just pop it just in case. | ||
| Like 5-HTP. You want to have it in your system. | ||
| Is that really good for you, Brian? | ||
| I don't think it is. | ||
| It didn't seem good for you. | ||
| What happened to your... | ||
| What did you do with this cleanse? | ||
| It pretty much made you lose weight. | ||
| Did you lose weight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're fucking throwing up. | ||
| You're eating charcoal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| You're just not eating anything except lemon water. | ||
| It was like 12 pounds. | ||
| I'm shitting on the weather and we're making dinner. | ||
| What people don't understand is that completely fucks with your metabolism. | ||
| But when you do something like that and you lose weight where you're just not eating anything, your metabolism gets jacked. | ||
| And then when you eat things, it's harder to burn them off because you don't have as much energy. | ||
| Your body's in fear that it's not going to have it anymore, so it stores it all. | ||
| It just locks it all up. | ||
| And you get super lethargic. | ||
| But the beautiful thing about that diet is that if you reintroduce food into your system after 12 days, you can find out allergies a lot more accurately than if, say, you might be afraid of rice or something. | ||
| We'll do it. | ||
| It's not like we're doing it to find out if you have an issue with b-ball. | ||
| What it does is it does kind of. | ||
| It does reset your system. | ||
| It resets everything for you. | ||
| So then you're slowly introducing food back into your diet. | ||
| So I think you start off with rice and you immediately can tell if anything affects you with this rice. | ||
| And then you bring in like whatever. | ||
| And it's kind of cool for that way. | ||
| You analyze your diet slowly through that. | ||
| And then you apologize on behalf of all men on YouTube. | ||
| That's the next step. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I apologize on behalf of all men for our selfish behavior. | |
| Please take me into your bosoms. | ||
| It's just so ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about cunts, buddy? | ||
| What about cunts? | ||
| Because they're out there, okay? | ||
| And I hope you get one. | ||
| And I hope she wrecks it. | ||
| She wrecks the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because you let her in, I worship you, oh wonderful magical woman. | |
| Sounds like Superman's dad. | ||
| No, the guy that came to kill Superman? | ||
| Zod? | ||
| Doesn't he sound like Zod? | ||
| The unibrow guy? | ||
| Wonderful women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to massage your calves with goat's milk and have a loot for you. | |
| Massage with yogurt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to massage your buttocks with goat's yogurt. | |
| I want to weep on your vagina. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not worthy of such a magical place. | |
| I don't want to fuck you tonight, sweetheart. | ||
| I just want to look at it. | ||
| These guys stare at it and read it Russian poetry. | ||
| These guys, by the way, have a whole bunch of other videos where how do men find real feminism inside them and feminine energy inside them. | ||
| It's like, it's so... | ||
| It's enanami. | ||
| Just get to a goddamn powerlifting gym, son! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quickly! | |
| You think that's what's missing from their life, is CrossFit? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Creatines, squats, deadlifts. | ||
| Fuck squats. | ||
| Someone needs to fucking tackle you at some point in your life, okay? | ||
| If you don't know how easy it is to get knocked off your feet, you need to know that shit, bitch. | ||
| You need to work on your base, okay? | ||
| You need to work on your sprawl, get your shit together, alright? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| What the fuck are you doing making YouTube videos for broken bitches? | ||
| Stop it, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn, stop it. | |
| You've got no ground technique. | ||
| This is what you need. | ||
| Go play the Frisbee. | ||
| Kettlebells. | ||
| I got them. | ||
| I'm going to make a video. | ||
| I'm going to show you guys how not to be little queens. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Apology video on behalf of those dudes. | ||
| That's a good idea. | ||
| We're going to do that. | ||
| We're going to do that after we're done here today. | ||
| Reving car engines. | ||
| Yeah, we'll see that. | ||
| That'll be our next video vlog. | ||
| We've got to give a shout-out, by the way, to Corey Loschuk, who did these two videos of Bobby Lee from one of the past episodes. | ||
| It's on Joe Rogan's website, JoeRogan.net. | ||
| He fucking took this audio of Bobby telling these two stories. | ||
| By the way, it's Podcast 76. Fucking hilarious. | ||
| He did a really good job on this. | ||
| Dude, brilliant stuff. | ||
| I forgot how funny those stories were. | ||
| And one of them is Bobby getting in trouble the very first day this girl showed up at work, he farted in her face. | ||
| She's sitting there reading her script, eating yogurt, and he walks up and sticks his ass on her nose and farts right on her face. | ||
| And she's crying, and one guy attacks him, and she was going to sue him, and he had to buy her a gift certificate for Brooke Williams to get massages and shit. | ||
| I love Bobby Lee. | ||
| And a sinus cleanse. | ||
| Bobby Lee's awesome. | ||
| And the story is just brilliant. | ||
| It's so goddamn funny. | ||
| And this guy put it to animation. | ||
| It's so good, man. | ||
| He did an awesome job. | ||
| So, Corey, thank you very much, man. | ||
| Check these out. | ||
| Thank you very much, dude. | ||
| Those are awesome. | ||
| And anybody else who wants to do one of those, too, fucking get on that shit. | ||
| I know there's a lot of really talented people out there. | ||
| I met Brian off the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brian and I met him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Craigslist. | ||
| I'm trying to stick with my religion. | ||
| Keep it in the fan. | ||
| I can't believe J-Date even exists. | ||
| Like, what Jewish guy is going to pay for that? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| They will, man. | ||
| They only want Jews. | ||
| I have friends that are Jews that only want Jews. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Anything other than a Jew. | ||
| I mean, whatever the programming that they got when they were young, that shit worked. | ||
| And they only want Jews. | ||
| There's also like a gay gangster dating website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hot. | |
| Which provide hours. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| You'd have to Google it. | ||
| We need to go. | ||
| I'm going to pretend like I don't have that one off the top of my head. | ||
| But there is a site just for that, which is great. | ||
| Yeah, I used to work at Gateway Computers, and the day that Joe called me up and was like, hey, you want to move to California and do videos for a living and all this shit? | ||
| I was like, okay. | ||
| And so I go to my boss, and I'm like, hey, giving him a two-week notice. | ||
| He goes, actually, I need to talk to you. | ||
| Gateway's closing all their stores. | ||
| I'm like, oh. | ||
| He's like, you're going to have a two-month severance pay. | ||
| I'm like, oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, yeah, I'll take that severance for a little while. | |
| He was putting up these funny videos on my message board. | ||
| And this is fucked, man. | ||
| It was like, what was it, 2002? | ||
| It was pre-YouTube. | ||
| I was just really good at compression. | ||
| That's all it took back in the day, man. | ||
| I made shit videos on the internet, but I had access to servers from my internet provider that I started. | ||
| So we just streamed all sorts of shit on RealPlayer. | ||
| And Brian, you know, comes off very strange on the podcast sometimes and some people complain about him. | ||
| But the reason for that is he's just very weirdly creative. | ||
| He's a very odd guy. | ||
| And these videos were fucking hilarious. | ||
| We have to put them somewhere. | ||
| Some of them up somewhere. | ||
| The one that you did where you... | ||
| There was a guy who... | ||
| This was after he already moved here. | ||
| Who was giving him a hard time because this guy was kind of jealous that he got this job working for me. | ||
| So Brian made this video goofing on him that... | ||
| Yeah, he just recently had a baby. | ||
| He was married to this girl that looked like Harry Potter. | ||
| So I just made pretty much this two-minute video, a minute-and-a-half video that just was like, oh, you want to fight? | ||
| I was good at Flash animation at the time because when Flash first came out, when it was like Shockwave instead of Shockwave is what it was called. | ||
| Macromedia Shockwave. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they loved my videos I did. | ||
| So some person from Adobe used to send me Flash, like Flash 1.0, 2.0, like this really expensive software. | ||
| No one had access to this because it was too expensive. | ||
| So I used to learn that shit back in the day. | ||
| So I had to make all these Flash videos. | ||
| Now I can't even touch Flash. | ||
| It's so fucking impossible since Adobe. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| I just went to GayDemon.com. | ||
| Is that the... | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| That is the best website ever! | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| I'm looking for your gay... | ||
| You're telling me about your gay dating site. | ||
| So I go to Gay Demon. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You... | |
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's so preposterous and ridiculous. | ||
| Have you seen Chowaniki? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's describe to these people what we're looking at here. | |
| Most people are going to hear this on audio and they're going to be in their car or on their way to the gym or on the fucking treadmill. | ||
| Tell them to imagine that picture. | ||
| Gaydemon.com. | ||
| There's the angel and the devil, the classic angel and the devil, like from Animal House, one on each shoulder. | ||
| Well, the angel is on one side, and he's this buff gay guy, and he's got a guy sucking his dick, and then below him, there's a guy sucking that guy's dick and eating that guy's ass, and they're crossing... | ||
| Are the same guys doing both? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Other guys. | ||
| There's a stack of guys, like one of those cheerleader pyramids, and it's all... | ||
| A human centipede? | ||
| Sucking guys and fucking guys in the ass on both sides. | ||
| So the devil's getting his dick sucked and the angel's getting his dick sucked and they're like looking at each other like, hey, what's up? | ||
| We're getting our dick sucked. | ||
| By the way, this health thing wasn't so bad. | ||
| I haven't even seen any fire. | ||
| Yeah, heaven and hell. | ||
| Have you seen dragons fucking cars, by the way? | ||
| There seems to be no difference. | ||
| They both get their dicks out. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Google dragons fucking cars. | ||
| That's a great website. | ||
| It's all like anime of giant dragons fucking cars in the tailpipes. | ||
| Wow, that's awesome. | ||
| In the gas tanks. | ||
| I hung out with the Asian from Human Centipede. | ||
| He had a party, and I was invited to his party. | ||
| That's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. | ||
| It was the craziest thing ever. | ||
| You go to his house, he had all these statues of the human centipede all over his house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| It was creepy. | ||
| I wanted to film the whole thing. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| You went to the guy who created the human centipede? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The Asian guy, the head centipede of the human centipede. | ||
| He has this all over his house, so he's proud of it? | ||
| No, he had a party, and at his house he just happened to have all these cool statues all out through his house of the human centipede. | ||
| What? | ||
| They were promotional or whatever. | ||
| Or plaster molds of himself and a couple buddies. | ||
| Yeah, but interesting enough, I was trying to dig, and I think he's in the sequel somehow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You want to hear something funny? | ||
| There's something someone wrote on Twitter about this conversation. | ||
| He wrote, consumerism with all these exclamation points. | ||
| It's ugly. | ||
| Talk about deeper shit, you whores. | ||
| Oh, what? | ||
| Listen, you dumb fuck. | ||
| When we're talking about fantastic technology and the creation, like human innovation, the creation of an M3 or an Apple laptop or anything, We're talking about spectacular new things that are in our world right now. | ||
| It's not just about consumerism. | ||
| And getting wrapped up in this whole, hey, I'm not into money, man. | ||
| I'm not into consumerism, man. | ||
| Like, just shut the fuck up, okay? | ||
| How did he send that tweet? | ||
| Was it through his iPhone? | ||
| Did you use a phone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does it say? | |
| I want to know. | ||
| Did you live in a house, you dumb cunt? | ||
| Unless he sent that tweet by a fucking smoke signal or semaphore, he's a piece of shit. | ||
| I just want to address this whole retarded mentality to criticize other people's interests, especially other people's interests when it comes to things that you can't attain. | ||
| So all of a sudden, these things that you can't attain become evil things or bad things or negative things. | ||
| We all have fucking transportation. | ||
| Whether it's a bus or whether you drive your own fucking car, we all have transportation. | ||
| Okay, no one, unless you are living in a solar-powered house and you ride a fucking horse everywhere, okay, everyone's contributing. | ||
| Nobody that It's listening to this broadcast right now. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Who doesn't have access to something. | ||
| You've got a carbon footprint, motherfucker. | ||
| All right? | ||
| And there's this idea that somehow or another, like, looking into this technology and objects and things, it's not being obsessed with creating or acquiring diamonds and walking around and covered in jewels. | ||
| That's not what we're doing. | ||
| What we're doing is looking at the incredible shit that human beings are creating and how nuts this is and how different this is and just a few years ago. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right? | |
| You stupid fucks. | ||
| Just get it together. | ||
| It's not trolled, man. | ||
| It's a mentality that comes up over and over and over again, and it's mostly a justification of failure. | ||
| It's a justification of either the lack of ambition or their lack of participating in some sort of materialism quest. | ||
| They're not in the game at all, so they criticize the game. | ||
| What do you give a fuck if... | ||
| When I see there's a guy in the Hamptons that's got some $180 million house, it's the most expensive house ever, and it's gigantic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't say, fuck that guy, that fucking capitalist. | |
| I go, wow, that's incredible. | ||
| That guy went for it. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Maybe that guy doesn't subscribe to the game. | ||
| Maybe he is capable. | ||
| He's on the line! | ||
| But he's on Twitter criticizing you. | ||
| Again, unless you sent a carrier pigeon to deliver that fucking message, he's playing the game somehow. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He's just not playing. | ||
| If you're using a fucking computer, look, we're all a part of this weird thing called capitalism. | ||
| Capitalism is just sort of an operating system that runs society. | ||
| I mean, that's really what it is. | ||
| Yeah, and I might like Apple better, and you might like Windows better. | ||
| They're all operating systems. | ||
| We're all still clicking the same damn icons. | ||
| I don't believe that capitalism is perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor do I believe that communism works. | ||
| I think socialism is a ridiculous idea because it goes completely against human nature. | ||
| And when you start criticizing people for things that they've acquired, you're dumb. | ||
| There's things out there that are amazing. | ||
| A big screen television is amazing. | ||
| Brian's got 3D TV in his bedroom. | ||
| That shit's amazing. | ||
| Oh, that was a mispurchase, let's be honest. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You want to have a 3D argument? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| I'm going to roll my sleeves up and step back. | ||
| Here's my conversation. | ||
| I went to Best Buy to get a TV. I found the TV I wanted. | ||
| It also had 3D? No, no. | ||
| Just a normal TV. And I was going to get it. | ||
| Then I checked on my Amazon. | ||
| I'm like, how much is this TV? And the TV on there was pretty much the same. | ||
| But then they had the 3D version for $100 more. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I'm going to get the 3D version for $100 a month. | ||
| So I ordered it on Amazon. | ||
| Got the TV. Right. | ||
| Then you get to spend an extra $150 per pair of goggles. | ||
| Then you get to spend an extra $100 a month or whatever for the special receiver that can deliver that. | ||
| Amazon had a deal. | ||
| If you bought it, it was for Christmas or something like that. | ||
| If you bought their TV, you get free 3D everything. | ||
| You got the 3D glasses. | ||
| You got two pairs. | ||
| And you lose your 3D friends because no one fucking cares. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| Sorry, Bob. | ||
| I didn't charge your Oakleys. | ||
| You get to have a fucking migraine. | ||
| You have to charge them? | ||
| Yes, you do. | ||
| Well, I would not recommend a 3D TV is what I'm saying. | ||
| But if it's $100 more or something small, then yes. | ||
| Because here's the cool thing. | ||
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| It makes everything 3D if you want it to. | ||
| But it doesn't do it well. | ||
| It doesn't do it well on everything. | ||
| I've got to tell you, dude. | ||
| I have never seen one. | ||
| I haven't seen his. | ||
| But I have seen one in person at the mall or at Best Buy we went to see. | ||
| And they had monsters and aliens playing. | ||
| I think it might be worth it just to watch that movie. | ||
| Dude, Tron 2? | ||
| If that's the only movie, like when HD first came out, people were like, dude, you gotta get HD. Why? | ||
| You can watch Flamingo's Fuck and The Sun Rise and High Def, and that's all there was for it, which I get, you know, your eyes widen because you like watching Flamingo's Fuck, but after three months, that's That's all there was. | ||
| Have you played Call of Duty in 3D? I have played 3D games, yeah. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| The on-screen display is a little further out in front of your face. | ||
| You still have to wear glasses. | ||
| You still get a fucking headache. | ||
| Do you play online? | ||
| It's still a sham. | ||
| I play Call of Duty in 3D. Does it give you a headache? | ||
| For some people, it does for me. | ||
| At first, the first ten minutes, your eyes get used to it. | ||
| Then you rewire your brain to go cross-eyed without giving a headache. | ||
| And now you're totally golden. | ||
| What I think is more crazy is this new Nintendo 3DS where I'm watching kids holding up their 3DS right to their face with this 3D shit. | ||
| And they've already admitted it in Japan. | ||
| Or Dr. Drew admitted that that could cause your eyes to bleed. | ||
| And people are already getting fucked up from it. | ||
| And you know how kids are with their fucking Game Boys. | ||
| They're going to put it in their face. | ||
| Hours on end. | ||
| Who knows what this is going to do to their fucking eyes, man. | ||
| They're going to get Bluetooth or something. | ||
| And the fucking shit at the airport, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't recommend 3D TV. Augmented reality, though? | |
| That's the shit. | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you talking about? | |
| Where you'll be able to, in the very near future, you know, Google Goggles. | ||
| Have you heard of Google Goggles? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| So you point Google Goggles at a restaurant or a landmark, and it analyzes what you're looking at, and then spits you out a search result based off that. | ||
| So you point it at the Golden Gate Bridge, boom, you get the history of that. | ||
| So extrapolate from that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Right now for augmented reality. | ||
| Stop and think about that for a second. | ||
| The translation is much better. | ||
| So you can take a photo of a building and it tells you what the building is? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You could create a message board off of just that photo. | ||
| It could translate text in real time. | ||
| You could have a check-in. | ||
| You could have a menu pop out of a coaster. | ||
| That's going to be a contact lens at one point. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's 15, 20 years away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| But so that is step one. | ||
| So step two is they have these augmented reality markers that you can throw down and look at with a webcam or with a cell phone application and it'll make like on the 3DS it makes like a dragon appear and you can walk around and look at it in 3D and shoot arrows at it. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Now the next phase of that is doing that without markers. | ||
| So imagine this and I know some people that are working on this right now and I'm trying to get into space. | ||
| You launch the app on your cell phone. | ||
| You look around and it analyzes in real time in the cloud. | ||
| It looks at this table and goes, all right, there's a coconut water. | ||
| Nutritional info. | ||
| Do you want to purchase by now? | ||
| There's a wine bottle. | ||
| Oh, I know what vintage that is from the fucking thing. | ||
| You can look at the microphone and tap it. | ||
| There's information on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Everything. | ||
| The barrier between internet and real life is rapidly dissipating. | ||
| That's the next step. | ||
| Yeah, but it's all going to have real-time tracking, too. | ||
| So imagine hiking up to a point at a mountain, looking over a city and tapping it, and having information on that city come out, having a communal game pop out of it. | ||
| All that shit's happening. | ||
| Fuck, that's incredible. | ||
| That's going to be awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love technology. | |
| And it's happening now. | ||
| So fuck you, anti-consumerism Twitter dick. | ||
| Yeah, fuck that guy. | ||
| Go apologize to women on YouTube. | ||
| Dear woman. | ||
| I thought we were going to talk about mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought that was... | |
| Let's watch the mushroom trip tonight. | ||
| Well, we could... | ||
| I got a date tonight. | ||
| Oh, what do you got? | ||
| Going out with the missus. | ||
| Where are you guys going? | ||
| Red Lobster? | ||
| Some cheddar bay biscuits? | ||
| Dude, it's only Friday night when I go to Red Lobster. | ||
| Where do you go on a Friday night with the missus? | ||
| Go out to eat, check out a movie. | ||
| I heard that that movie Source Code's good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You've heard nothing? | |
| I heard Source Code's good. | ||
| Your Highness is great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your Highness? | |
| Oh, is that out right now? | ||
| No, just go see Arthur. | ||
| Go see Arthur. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Really? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Asshole. | |
| You do like him? | ||
| I do like Russell Brand. | ||
| Why? | ||
| He entertains me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You have to be in the mood for his quote-unquote brand of entertainment. | ||
| He's the same character. | ||
| I liked him until I watched him do stand-up. | ||
| I watched him do stand-up and I was like, whoa. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I like him whenever he's a guest on talk shows. | ||
| I'd love to interview him. | ||
| He seems pretty interesting. | ||
| Yeah, he's a fascinating guy. | ||
| Who is your favorite person to interview? | ||
| Who is the one person that you think about all the time? | ||
| In the shower? | ||
| In the shower. | ||
| I like James Cameron. | ||
| James Cameron? | ||
| I had a blast chatting with James Cameron. | ||
| Now, a lot of people accuse him of being arrogant, but you know what? | ||
| I think that in order to get that much done, he's got to be an obsessed worker. | ||
| Look at what he did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, look at what he's done. | ||
| What is he doing now? | ||
| Avatar 2 is filming it all underwater. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He's doing the whole fucking movie. | ||
| You didn't know that? | ||
| Avatar 2 filming underwater with technology that he created in order to fucking, yeah, to Titanic, to film underwater in Titanic. | ||
| I got to hold the 3D camera that they used on Avatar, and I held it for about three minutes and wanted to give out, like, my shoulder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like, it's crazy heavy, and I'm like, you held this thing, James? | ||
| Like, you're rich and powerful enough to hire 40 people to hold this camera for years. | ||
| Like, nope. | ||
| Held it on every single shot, ran down ramps, and did all that shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's gung-ho serious. | ||
| Bad motherfucker. | ||
| For all the shit that they give James Cameron for being arrogant or tough to work with or whatever, he came on the show, had a smile, shook my hand, was super nerdy about everything. | ||
| And we even had him coming out with a folding chair and smashing through a brick wall and hitting dummies. | ||
| He was super game to have a good time. | ||
| And he cut his head on one of the foam rocks that fell the second time he came on the show with this big wall and he burst through it like Kool-Aid. | ||
| Like, oh yeah! | ||
| Picks up a chair and he's going to hit a dummy with it and I see this little spot of crimson on his forehead. | ||
| And our show's live. | ||
| We have a 10-second delay. | ||
| So I'm sitting there interviewing him, and I'm just seeing, thank God it's away from the camera, but I'm watching blood slowly trickle out of his forehead. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And all I'm thinking about is the publicist and the studio and everybody else going like, did you cut James Cameron? | ||
| I would have brought it up right away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that would have been cool. | |
| We didn't bring it up at all? | ||
| Yeah, I didn't. | ||
| That would have been cool. | ||
| I would have said, dude, I hate to say this, but I think we cut your head. | ||
| We cut you the fuck open. | ||
| Your face has a period. | ||
| He's not in pain. | ||
| I'm so, well, look, I'm so used to trauma. | ||
| Because James Cameron could kill me and would get away with it. | ||
| But why would he do that? | ||
| Because he could. | ||
| What kind of a cunt? | ||
| If you were the type of guy that kills people because a foam rock fell on your head, you would have a fucking trail of bodies behind you like Genghis Khan. | ||
| Badass. | ||
| You're really crazy. | ||
| He's not going to kill you. | ||
| You're totally insecure about this. | ||
| You need to be more relaxed about James Cameron. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You had an awesome opportunity there to tell him that you cut him. | ||
| Hey, look, I still get my great interview, and I had photoshops of me fucking the Na'vi. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| Yeah, he was like, the aliens have to seem fuckable. | ||
| Is that what he said? | ||
| Oh, that was his big thing for Pandora. | ||
| He's like, I want you to make these aliens someone you want to fuck. | ||
| And he talked about it. | ||
| Yeah, I did want to fuck that girl. | ||
| Right? | ||
| When he got down with her, I was like, okay, I could see it. | ||
| I could see her being attractive, especially if you're big and blue too. | ||
| You're like, yeah, fuck it, I'm big and blue too. | ||
| But they mate with animals with their braid. | ||
| Why didn't he jack his braid into her or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You should be binding with your hair. | ||
| That is some slash fiction that will hit the net very soon. | ||
| Yeah, James Cameron, that guy's doing some crazy shit right now, man. | ||
| He's doing some amazing stuff. | ||
| Bummed I never got to interview Mitch Hedberg. | ||
| Super bummed about that. | ||
| And super bummed I never got to interview Leslie Nielsen because he shaped Michael. | ||
| I just watched Creepshow the other day and I forgot Leslie Nielsen was in it and Ted Danson, which was crazy. | ||
| But that... | ||
| Leslie Nielsen growing up was one of my faves. | ||
| I saw Naked Gun recently, and it was so weird seeing O.J. Simpson in it, because you forget how, as a kid growing up, I loved O.J. Simpson. | ||
| Everybody did. | ||
| Especially from that role. | ||
| That was one of the weirdest moments in human history, when this loved man, this guy who was like, he played the game so well, was so charming, and only even dated white women, so people didn't even think of him as black. | ||
| It's like, here's this charming, handsome black man who spoke so well, and then all of a sudden he's cutting people's fucking heads off. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| I was in like 6th grade or 7th grade, I think, and I had the Chris Darden book on that trial. | ||
| I was fascinated by it. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| I got up early, me and my girlfriend. | ||
| I was living in North Hollywood. | ||
| My girlfriend Bridget at the time. | ||
| We got up early and we sat in front of the fucking TV and watched the verdict. | ||
| And we both went. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| We were both like, what is going on? | ||
| Like, how is this real? | ||
| How am I watching this guy get off? | ||
| And he's clapping. | ||
| Mark Furman was a racist, that's why. | ||
| And the glove didn't fit. | ||
| It was a little bit of both. | ||
| And it was also the weird thing where black people wanted someone to win on their side. | ||
| Yeah, they wanted him to win. | ||
| Because of the Rodney King thing. | ||
| I absolutely understand that. | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, that Rodney King thing fucked everybody up. | ||
| When you watch a guy get beat fucking half-census with sticks. | ||
| What about the... | ||
| All these YouTube and cell phone videos of... | ||
| Like, my brother's a cop. | ||
| Well, by the way, you should beat that guy half-sensitive. | ||
| They should have just fucking shot him. | ||
| Like, that guy was a crazy, messed-up asshole. | ||
| He was high on PCP, beating the fuck out of cops. | ||
| He was fighting them. | ||
| They had to hit him with sticks. | ||
| Yeah, they definitely got out of line. | ||
| Yeah, they definitely got a little crazy, but... | ||
| But the notion that now you can't, again, fucking love cops. | ||
| Truly do. | ||
| My brother's one. | ||
| He's one of the good ones. | ||
| And I respect the shit out of what he does every day. | ||
| I read teleprompter. | ||
| I read words. | ||
| He puts his fucking shit in the line. | ||
| I know a lot of cops. | ||
| I have a deep respect for cops. | ||
| But with that said, the notion of not being able to film them when they're performing their duties. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| And the fact that people are getting their cell phones taken away and getting arrested. | ||
| They're not even part of what's going on. | ||
| They're getting arrested for invasion of privacy. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up. | ||
| There's actual laws against videotaping cops while they're doing their job, which is ridiculous. | ||
| Did you see that guy in Seattle that punched that chick? | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| There's a bunch of black women, and he's a little white guy, and he's arresting one, and this other black woman comes along, and she's pulling the girl away, and she pulls him away. | ||
| She grabs ahold of him, and he turns around and blasts her right in the face. | ||
| And then all the people are filming, like, oh, shit, no, he didn't! | ||
| No, he didn't! | ||
| Like, wow, this is chaos. | ||
| Would you hear the story of the eight-year-old boy that got pepper sprayed at school? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And they're like, that's fucking excessive force, excessive force. | ||
| The cop pepper sprayed him. | ||
| And the mom is suing the cops in the school district and everybody over at night. | ||
| The headline of that, you go, that's fucked up. | ||
| Who pepper sprays an eight-year-old boy? | ||
| Turns out, he held up a pencil in the class, threatened everybody, said, quote, I'm going to kill all of you motherfuckers. | ||
| The cops came up. | ||
| They were threatening the cops and doing everything. | ||
| I'm like, your fucking kid was out of hand. | ||
| If I said I'm going to kill all you motherfuckers at a school and threatened to stab people... | ||
| I deserve a little pepper spray. | ||
| With a pencil? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, he was eight years old, though? | ||
| He was like eight or nine years old, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, hey, I'm going to kill you! | |
| And you're like, shut the fuck up, give me that pencil. | ||
| Yeah, that's a troubled kid. | ||
| You should arrest his parents. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, you got a kid that's that angry and that wants to kill everybody in class, you need to find out what the fuck they did to him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I'm sure the mom was a star on 16 and Pregnant. | ||
| That show is just out of control lately on TMZ. It seems like every day there's a new fight or a new person being arrested. | ||
| Well, what it seems like, just like we were talking about with porn, that porn is getting accelerated and getting more and more fucked up. | ||
| Reality television is getting more and more fucked up, too, to the point where how many people are getting pregnant trying to be on that show? | ||
| Trying to be on that show. | ||
| It glorifies it. | ||
| It says, well, I'm 16, I live in the middle of nowhere, and I have nothing going for me. | ||
| I know what I'm doing. | ||
| I'm going to have a child that will love me, and then MTV is going to give me a salary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pfft! | |
| To put every moment of this on the air. | ||
| Oh, it's so scary. | ||
| And sketch my moments and put my life to a soundtrack that they can sell on iTunes. | ||
| And I watch it. | ||
| We live in strange, strange times. | ||
| I watch the shit out of that show. | ||
| Macy's amazing. | ||
| Do you really watch it? | ||
| My little boy Bentley's great. | ||
| Man, my girlfriend makes me watch it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I totally do. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Without argue. | ||
| I watched, for the first time, Dancing with the Stars. | ||
| What the fuck's wrong with you? | ||
| Did you see Kirstie Alley get dropped? | ||
| No, I heard about it. | ||
| You should Google that. | ||
| And I heard that the guy was trying to make excuses. | ||
| He said he hurt his thigh. | ||
| My knee gave out. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| It has nothing to do with the fact that she's... | ||
| It's normal when you're dragging a 400-pound woman across the fucking floor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It has nothing to do with the fact that she's a monster. | ||
| That she has eaten herself into horrific proportions. | ||
| She's a monster. | ||
| She took what was a hot shape and for whatever, what is it? | ||
| Is it self-loathing? | ||
| Is it indulgence? | ||
| Is it gluttony? | ||
| She's just eaten herself into a rotine. | ||
| You have to fucking work at getting that big, man. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't come easy. | ||
| Yeah, especially a woman who's like constantly talking about losing weight. | ||
| I mean, her whole thing is like losing weight. | ||
| Well, the fat actress thing too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That was her whole shtick. | ||
| I love, there's a kid on YouTube who's testing fruit gushers. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He does like a snack review. | ||
| He's like 12 and he's already way too big for his age. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And he does like a, he reviews thin mitts and gushers and eats them and then looks into his webcam and tells you, yeah, that's a must buy. | ||
| Hold on a second, let me keep exploring. | ||
| You gotta look, it's a fruit gushers must buy. | ||
| And it's this young kid on his webcam and I'm like, where are the fucking parents, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Where are the fucking parents? | ||
| Christy Alley just never got over Diane, I think. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Shit happens, dude. | ||
| It's a problem when you're in a reality or a big hit sitcom. | ||
| Do you ever have a weight issue being in front of camera, like being on camera? | ||
| Did it ever get to you and have to look a certain way or feel a certain way to be? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm fatter now than I've ever been in my life, for sure. | ||
| I can see it in my fat face and I can see it in my gut. | ||
| Baby weight. | ||
| I can pinch fat around me. | ||
| It's really because I'm traveling a lot and I hurt my back. | ||
| I popped what's called a rib head. | ||
| A rib head is a... | ||
| It's what connects like some shit on your back. | ||
| Anyway, point is when I did it, I couldn't do jiu-jitsu for like two months. | ||
| And I didn't lift heavy for two months either. | ||
| All I did was just hit the bag. | ||
| And I didn't even do that all that consistently. | ||
| So I tried to let myself heal up. | ||
| And in the process, I ate just like I always do. | ||
| Isn't that the bitch of it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you kick your eyes off the prize one second and it's gone. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| And muscle memory is bullshit. | ||
| But fortunately for me, no, it's not. | ||
| Muscle memory is total real. | ||
| But not when you're in that two weeks recovering from an injury or something else. | ||
| Like there's nothing worse. | ||
| Yeah, injuries are brutal, but it's part of the game. | ||
| My whole back is fucked up and I'm still training through it like an asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I need to go get it looked at. | ||
| What's wrong with your back? | ||
| Great question. | ||
| When you say training, what are you doing? | ||
| I started recently getting into weightlifting. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, just heavy weightlifting. | ||
| I've never been in shape my entire life. | ||
| Kettlebells? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Kettlebells? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, just traditional. | ||
| Teach you the ways of kettlebells, son. | ||
| Teach you the ways of men. | ||
| I did one of those 23andMe tests where you spit into the vial and they analyze your DNA and tell you what your predispositions are. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it was like morbid obesity was 99.9% repeating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| So it's a genetic issue? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm predisposed to it, obviously. | ||
| Predisposed to morbid obesity, but look at you, you're so lean. | ||
| I'm kind of the only one in my family that is, though, and I kind of developed a neuroses about it at one point. | ||
| I've always worked out so much that I never had to worry about my weight on TV. But, you know, that idea that it puts 10 pounds on you, that's complete total horseshit. | ||
| That's just fat girls who don't know what they really look like. | ||
| And they see themselves on camera. | ||
| Have you ever seen a standard death stream stretched out on an HDTV? That will put 10 pounds on you. | ||
| That will fuck you up. | ||
| That will dub you up real fast. | ||
| That's like a heart video, but in reverse. | ||
| You remember those videos? | ||
| Heart? | ||
| Remember the first time they experimented? | ||
| Like, how do we get this fat bitch to look hot? | ||
| We've got to distort her frame and make it look like we're looking at her through Alice in Wonderland seeing eyeglasses. | ||
| I saw a demo of software now that you don't need tracking markers or any green screen bullshit, but you film an actor doing their performance like you normally would, and it kind of does an Xbox Kinect-style analysis of their frame and builds a skeleton, and then does pixel detection to see where their, you know, I call them Renaissance Fair arms, where the turkey leg hangs. | ||
| It sees where their Ren Fair arms ends, right, and where the scenery begins, and you can real-time dynamically slide how fat, thin, tall, or short a person is, and it will re-render the video. | ||
| To make actors seem bulkier, to make them seem thinner, seem whatever. | ||
| There's demos of it on YouTube right now. | ||
| Well, that 300 shit, what they did with 300. I mean, a lot of people, they showed the 300 workout. | ||
| This is what they did to get in such amazing shape. | ||
| No, they didn't. | ||
| Do you know what kind of a fucking diet you'd have to be on and how long you'd have to be on it and how consistent you would have to be? | ||
| The best shape of your life. | ||
| It would take years and years of hard training to reach like how Gerald... | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Gerald Butler? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gerard Butler. | |
| Gerard Butler. | ||
| Which if you see him now, he did like SNL recently. | ||
| He's fat and dopey and soft. | ||
| It's totally fake. | ||
| I showed my girlfriend that. | ||
| I was like, that's what that ends up like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what a Spartan looks like. | ||
| He actually got in shape for that movie, I'm sure. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| And they added all that other CGI shit to him to make him look better than he really did. | ||
| But shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| That guy, I'm not into him, man. | ||
| What about Spartacus? | ||
| I fucking loved him in that movie. | ||
| I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| I loved him in that movie. | ||
| And then everything I've seen in him since then, I'm like, God, man, why are you annoying me? | ||
| You know, how come I'm not into him? | ||
| Well, he's doing rom-coms now and shit. | ||
| Although he did do that one thing. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's rom-com? | ||
| Romantic comedies. | ||
| Oh my God, you dork. | ||
| Rom-coms. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Rom-coms. | ||
| Did you just dork out? | ||
| Did you dork out? | ||
| Did I get a ruling, Brian? | ||
| I've never even heard that before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've seen it. | |
| It's because I'm fucking industry. | ||
| That's why I know people. | ||
| If you've never seen a Katherine Heigl movie and rubbed your vagina in a theater, you're missing out. | ||
| She's another one, man. | ||
| I liked her in the first movie I saw her in. | ||
| What was her big movie? | ||
| The fucking movie with Seth Rogen. | ||
| Maybe I liked her because she was fucking a fat guy. | ||
| I was like, oh, that's really sweet. | ||
| She fucked that guy and then he never really got his shit together and did read the baby books. | ||
| She was kind of hot and cool. | ||
| But at the end, that one night stand slash pregnancy totally worked out. | ||
| Yeah, it's beautiful. | ||
| That's how it works. | ||
| You know that other one that she did recently with Josh Duhamel? | ||
| Is that what his name is? | ||
| I'm not going to feel bad for you not knowing this. | ||
| The guy from Vegas. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| I did an episode of Vegas. | ||
| He's cool as fuck. | ||
| He's the one who's married to Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. | ||
| Anyway, he did some movie with her. | ||
| I didn't even watch it. | ||
| I just watched it on TV on the screen on a plane. | ||
| Like a preview or something? | ||
| I watched it on a plane while I was writing, and I would look up and get angry. | ||
| I'd get angry to help my writing. | ||
| I'd be listening to fucking Hendrix. | ||
| I would look up at this stupid shit and all these slack-jawed, business-faced douchebags watching this stupid-ass fucking movie. | ||
| You know what's going to happen. | ||
| There's not a goddamn shocker in this movie. | ||
| It was No Devil Wears Prada. | ||
| I always accidentally watch the porn version of that movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm always with a girl and they're like, oh my god, Devils Wear Prada! | |
| And then we turn it on and it's Devils Wear Nada. | ||
| It's on every day and it's always the same. | ||
| On what? | ||
| Showtime? | ||
| I'm always watching that. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Oh man, I was so close to doing one of those. | ||
| I had an offer to be in one that was like a song. | ||
| A porn? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it was like Softcore, Cinemax, whatever. | ||
| And I was going to play like Brad, like the camera guy who gets decapitated in an attic after getting blown. | ||
| And I so wanted to do it and just did not pan out. | ||
| A girl that I dated a long time ago, I saw her once in one of those. | ||
| I was on another date. | ||
| I was at this chick's house. | ||
| I'm flipping through the channels. | ||
| And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like a girl I did like a year before that was on this fucking softcore porn movie. | ||
| It was like so cheesy and so bad. | ||
| It was so stupid. | ||
| But it was weird. | ||
| What was the setting? | ||
| Was it tennis instructor? | ||
| I barely remember. | ||
| We're talking. | ||
| We're going way back more than 10 years ago. | ||
| It was probably like 96 or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you finish? | |
| I had just moved to LA. It was a much bigger shock to me because just knowing someone and seeing them on television... | ||
| Being around famous people when you first moved to Hollywood, it's the weirdest thing. | ||
| You don't even expect them to be real. | ||
| You think they're like holograms. | ||
| And then when you meet someone in real life, then all of a sudden they're on television. | ||
| It's like, still fucking weirds me out, man. | ||
| Now I'm getting used to it. | ||
| I'm pretty used to it now. | ||
| But back then, it was a girl you dated. | ||
| And all of a sudden, you're seeing her in some fucking stupid movie where she's making out with some guy. | ||
| She was a girl that was in a show called Hardball with me. | ||
| No, that's it. | ||
| I just saw a preview for Hardball the other day. | ||
| It's on the internet. | ||
| I just confused two stories. | ||
| I just confused two stories. | ||
| There's another one. | ||
| A girl from Hardball is not a girl. | ||
| I'm like, I didn't date that girl. | ||
| I didn't date that girl. | ||
| It's a different girl. | ||
| But that was another girl that I also saw around the same time, also in a soft car. | ||
| I'm still waiting to come across, like on a UJs or a RedTube or something like that, I'm waiting to come across somebody in X-Ban in fucking high school. | ||
| I know it's going to happen. | ||
| Yeah, I've never had that. | ||
| It's bound to happen. | ||
| I know, me too. | ||
| I'm playing the numbers game. | ||
| And believe me, I watch enough to try to get through that every day, and I've still not found it. | ||
| Imagine if you didn't notice and you were like, because sometimes, especially as time goes on, like 10 years ago, you forget people. | ||
| You forget people. | ||
| You forget everything. | ||
| And then you're beaten off, and then like halfway in the middle of the video, you're like, I fucked her in real life! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Why didn't she let me do that to her back then? | ||
| I had a blab. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, your asshole's sore. | ||
| No wonder it's sore. | ||
| Now I know why. | ||
| I'm just happy that when I used to... | ||
| There's been a couple times where I fucked on camera before. | ||
| It was back when webcams first came out. | ||
| And I'm just happy that that didn't... | ||
| So it got on the internet. | ||
| You fucked on the internet. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| What about that thing, man? | ||
| That can go back in time and archive the internet. | ||
| Imagine if it could, though. | ||
| That's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| I was just drunk and I'm like, no one's going to watch this. | ||
| You imagine if streaming was all recorded somewhere because it's really just ones and zeros going through a fucking computer. | ||
| If they figure out how to go back in time and reprocess your pale white ass. | ||
| FBI absolutely has machines that are taking all the copies of ones and zeros that are spitting through the internet right now. | ||
| So right now? | ||
| Data centers at AT&T and Little Garden and all that shit. | ||
| They have machines that are mirroring all that. | ||
| They have machines that are... | ||
| This is true. | ||
| This is not a conspiracy theory. | ||
| Absolutely true. | ||
| Documented proof. | ||
| Would you think, like, 15 years ago, they were doing that too, though? | ||
| Not to that level, but... | ||
| Or do you think that there's going to be technology to go back and somehow, you know, get that somehow? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't believe, I believe from here on out, whatever here is, not this year or not today, but there has been a, there was a turning point from that point on, all those ones and zeros exist somewhere. | ||
| They absolutely do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, the really crazy idea is that at one point in time, there's going to be some sort of a computer that's so fucking powerful. | ||
| And the computing power and what's capable, what they're capable of extrapolating from any given circumstance is that what they're going to be able to do is see the world in every aspect, like every single thing about the world today, and literally put into a computer, how did this get into place? | ||
| How did this get into place in relationship with that? | ||
| And go back in time and literally be able to recreate the entire model of life on this planet and life in the universe, everything from the very beginning to then. | ||
| Until they get back to Jesus creating it. | ||
| Which is only, ironically, a few thousand years ago. | ||
| It's that easy. | ||
| They don't have to go back very far. | ||
| It's like six grand. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| They've already figured out how to record memories. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They believe. | ||
| They can put people's heads and devices and record those electrical impulses and see where they're going off in the brains and then glean the ones and zero data from that. | ||
| I did not know this. | ||
| Can you transfer it from you to me? | ||
| Well, that's where they're still working on. | ||
| They know how to record it. | ||
| They can gather that data. | ||
| It's putting that data back into somebody. | ||
| That's the issue. | ||
| So imagine a near future where you put on a cap or you have your Johnny Mnemonic neural implant and you go, I want to go skydiving today. | ||
| Double click and you pay $4.99 for that adventure and it plays back somebody's memory that was recorded of them free-falling for five minutes. | ||
| What's that movie again? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| You know, the one with Julia Lewis that was all about that, where they put in memories. | ||
| Strange... | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Strange something. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You don't remember? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| I never remember Johnny Mnemonic, which was a great shitty movie on Netflix. | ||
| Someone on Twitter, I'm sure, knows what the fuck this is. | ||
| Come on, you badass bitches. | ||
| The whole idea of the movie was that that's what you do. | ||
| You would put memories in your head and stuff like that. | ||
| Well, they can already record them. | ||
| Now the issue is playback. | ||
| So once they have that down, imagine an app store for experiences. | ||
| Well, you know, I thought about that the other day when I was looking at my iPhone. | ||
| Strange days. | ||
| Strange days. | ||
| Knuckles. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| I was looking at my iPhone, and it was something that my daughter did that was hilarious. | ||
| And I was watching, and I was like, okay, this happened. | ||
| You know, it happened five minutes ago. | ||
| Now I'm watching on this video. | ||
| It's so simple and so easy. | ||
| Like, this is seriously like time capture. | ||
| Like, it's a very remedial, rudimentary form of time capture. | ||
| just captures a 2D image of right yeah so imagine infrared with sonar with feeling scent with feeling potentially right so it's gonna you're gonna capture scenes but you're gonna capture every aspect of a scene so that when you want to play it back it'll be just like you're living in that moment because it'll tap into all those senses you've done the isolation tank I I have. | ||
| You've done it at the same place, the float lab in Venice. | ||
| Because we were talking about Crash, the mad scientist down there that creates these fucking things. | ||
| But he's working on that whole screen setup. | ||
| You know about all that, right? | ||
| What do you think about all that? | ||
| No, it's flawed concept. | ||
| I agree with it in theory. | ||
| For those who don't know, the idea is that you're floating in an isolation tank. | ||
| So you're isolated from light, sound. | ||
| You don't know where your skin ends and where the warm body temperature water begins. | ||
| And because of that, your body and your senses are zeroed out, right? | ||
| So you're completely open to everything. | ||
| And the idea is that there's going to be an LCD screen in front of you that's projecting the perfect golf swing or projecting how to fuck like Rocco or how to drive a race car like Andretti. | ||
| You went Rocco, dude. | ||
| You went 90s. | ||
| Well, Animal Trainer's classic. | ||
| That's a classic. | ||
| He's not even dirty anymore. | ||
| But he's still a classic. | ||
| He tapped out when he needed to. | ||
| The point is, his notion is that you'll be able to watch that in a depth tank, and because your brain is so in tuned and open to all these memories, it's going to flood right in. | ||
| The problem is that that's not a pure input method to the brain. | ||
| You're going to be aware in that moment that you're watching an LCD screen. | ||
| There's going to be light beaming into your eyes. | ||
| It'll defeat the whole purpose of sensory deprivation. | ||
| Yes and no. | ||
| But it also, instead of just sensory deprivation, it minimizes the sensory input and allows you to have more mental resources to concentrate on the video. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| Now, that I'll give. | ||
| So, if you want to watch… Documentaries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want to watch those, if you want to numb your senses and just be focused into one thing, that's fine. | ||
| But I don't believe it's going to somehow reprogram your brain. | ||
| That's how it was pitched to me. | ||
| That it will change your brain to do that. | ||
| It might make you more aware of something. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I think it allows your brain to use more resources. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, Brian. | ||
| I mean, I'm not necessarily willing to... | ||
| I mean, look, I'm a huge proponent of nothing, of the sensory deprivation tank in and of itself being emptiness, nothing, nothing there. | ||
| I don't want any input at all. | ||
| I want no hearing, no seeing, no touching. | ||
| I want to untether my body from my mind visually, physically, in every single way. | ||
| And that's what I'm all about with the isolation tank experience. | ||
| I'm willing to listen. | ||
| I'm willing to like... | ||
| It might be. | ||
| Maybe I'll figure something out. | ||
| I try it. | ||
| It just doesn't sound... | ||
| I'm not fully on board for that vision. | ||
| I'd be game to try it. | ||
| But he's also got to wrap that thing in tinfoil because there's still 3G signals and Wi-Fi hitting your body in there. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to die. | ||
| I'm not down with this little screen. | ||
| What I'm down with doing it in some sort of a large circular thing where it's much, much larger. | ||
| What I'm thinking of is you're in the center almost like a giant circular pod and above you, Um, there's a screen sort of like, uh, an IMAX screen and that is the input and it's, it's large and circular. | ||
| And when like, say if you're, you know, you have some sort of a video on space, it literally would become the whole sky, right? | ||
| You know, that I think is possible. | ||
| And that's very fascinating to me. | ||
| I'm waiting for someone to create technology that beams the image into your eye. | ||
| Cause that's the only way you're going to really be able to fully flood someone's periphery, right? | ||
| Is to beam it in there. | ||
| So imagine like So you don't see your own nose. | ||
| You don't see anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So imagine a projector that's locked in that can quickly and dynamically response to your eyes, maybe moving around or shifting, but that's adjusting focal levels, beaming image A and image B into your eye, giving you that shutter effect. | ||
| You'll be able to completely zone out on something, and your periphery would be flooded. | ||
| You don't want to get in on the ground floor of that one, though. | ||
| You don't want to be fucking blind. | ||
| That's why you don't want the Nintendo 3DS. You don't want to see what happens for six months. | ||
| Like the first dudes who tried Wi-Fi, or the first dudes who tried... | ||
| Or microwaves. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was just trying to make a Salisbury steak. | ||
| Now I have a vagina. | ||
| Oh, that's weird. | ||
| Lasix. | ||
| Lasix surgery. | ||
| The first guys to get in there and get their eyeballs cut open. | ||
| Oh, what the fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yikes. | |
| Don't get any pigment for that. | ||
| That doesn't always work. | ||
| They're pretty goddamn good now. | ||
| Now they do it in a couple seconds. | ||
| And you get a video of it. | ||
| You get a souvenir photo. | ||
| Like at Splash Mountain. | ||
| Here's where we lasered your eyeball. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| How did they figure that out, man? | ||
| How many people did they have to practice on before they got that technique down? | ||
| Did they use cadaver eyeballs? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Goat's eyeballs and shit. | ||
| What's the closest to human eyeballs in an animal? | ||
| I think pig. | ||
| What if you could transfer pig eyes to people? | ||
| Well, they've already gotten out. | ||
| Again, it harkens back to transhumanism where they can let blind people see rough shapes and hard edges with light. | ||
| You go five years from now, they're going to have the same sight that we do. | ||
| You go ten years from now, they're going to have infrared, heat vision, thermal, all that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, it's a matter of time. | ||
| Because then it's just a lens. | ||
| As long as they can beam it right into your brain, that's it. | ||
| Do you contemplate where this is all headed when you look at this whole transhumanism thing? | ||
| You say, well, what happens if everybody lives forever? | ||
| What happens if there is no death? | ||
| I mean, what happens? | ||
| What about the resources, man? | ||
| We're already at max. | ||
| Are we, though? | ||
| Are we really at max? | ||
| We're not really. | ||
| We kind of exaggerate that, right? | ||
| Well, we say we're at max based off future projections. | ||
| We're not at max like tomorrow we're fucked. | ||
| We know at the current rate, with babies being born and ozone depleted and so much oil in the ground, we know that in 15, 20, 25 years, we might be fucked. | ||
| So that's why we need to invest in people. | ||
| It's also how much of our energy is projected and used towards making food and how much of it is towards fucking war and politics and nonsense. | ||
| And how the ways we manufacture food right now are making us sicker. | ||
| There's a whole thing there. | ||
| But regarding transhumanism, in 15, 20 years from now, we're going to be alive for debates that would be previously unheard of. | ||
| Should someone with a cybernetic implant be allowed to run in the Olympics or run for office? | ||
| Or should your kid go to the same elementary school when he's got infrared vision and that helps him with kickball? | ||
| Like that... | ||
| I have these conversations with people when it comes to the UFC when they start talking about how do you feel about banned substances because so many people keep getting busted. | ||
| Tiago Silva just got busted for turning in non-human urine because apparently he… No way. | ||
| He's not a human. | ||
| He took something for his back because he hurt his back, but he looked fucking swole in his last fight, and he was super aggressive, too. | ||
| Three swoles in one podcast. | ||
| Swole, dog. | ||
| There's four. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| That's your new clothing line. | ||
| That's your new clothing line. | ||
| Yeah, swole. | ||
| With the abs on the outside with fucking eagles on. | ||
| It's just a cock. | ||
| It's just from GayDemon.com, what I do is I just take the best... | ||
| Gay cock picture. | ||
| Dude, that's what you need. | ||
| A ripped deep v-neck with like a silhouette giant cock coming out of the waist. | ||
| I've been thinking I need that too and I'm so glad somebody confirmed it. | ||
| And you just gesture to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all you need. | |
| What the fuck was I saying before we got in this? | ||
| I don't know, but I've got to empty my bladder. | ||
| I've got to tap out. | ||
| What were you just saying? | ||
| Gay demons. | ||
| Oh, banned substances. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| What? | ||
| Dragon's Fucking Cars. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't pull up, man. | ||
| Oh, here it goes. | ||
| But banned substances. | ||
| Anyway, what I was saying is that what people have to realize is, look at this dragon fucking a barracuda. | ||
| That's the first one I've tuned into. | ||
| See, now that's pretty sweet. | ||
| DragonsFuckingCars.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got a nice cock, too. | |
| Look at that pink cock going into that muffler. | ||
| This is so weird, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is weird. | |
| That's really fucking weird. | ||
| Whoever put those two together? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| People are strange, man. | ||
| But what I was saying about substances is what we're dealing with now is fairly simple. | ||
| We're dealing with people putting chemicals in their bodies. | ||
| We're dealing with people like, did you take steroids? | ||
| Did you take growth hormone? | ||
| Did you take... | ||
| They can't even test for growth hormone yet. | ||
| They can test for testosterone. | ||
| They can test for a bunch of different types of steroids that all work. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why Barry Bonds got better as he got older. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why Roger Clemens got better, stayed good as he got older. | ||
| There's a reason why there's a lot of these athletes that are well into their 40s that are competing, and it's chemicals. | ||
| And what they're basically doing is a low-level form of genetic engineering. | ||
| And what they're supposed to tell you is that, well, I mean, depending on what you're looking at, whether you're looking at old people who are doing it, hormone replacement therapy, a lot of people have different takes on that, and they say, well, that's okay, because what they're doing is just allowing their body to operate as if a young body did, and allows them to continue to compete. | ||
| That way you get to see... | ||
| You know, guys play baseball well into their 40s and do well. | ||
| But then you get guys who are like, okay, well, this guy's taking, you know, EPO and he's got twice as much red blood cells as the average person and he has incredible endurance because of that. | ||
| And then this guy's taking, you know, Anavar and he's, you know, got amazing muscle density and he's a fucking animal. | ||
| They're getting to superhuman levels. | ||
| And right now they're doing it through chemicals and they're injecting themselves with things. | ||
| But eventually, it's going to be much more complicated than that. | ||
| It's going to be genetic engineering. | ||
| What eventually it's going to do is they're going to be able to genetically manipulate the code of a human being, and they're going to be able to create human beings that are superhumans. | ||
| So we have to figure out, man, when it comes to... | ||
| Performance enhancing drugs and trying to level the playing field, so they say, you know, as far as like steroids in sports. | ||
| What you have to realize is that this is just the beginning. | ||
| It's going to get way, way, way more complex. | ||
| They're working on myostatin inhibitors where they've used these in mice and the mice Live longer and they jump fucking three feet in the air and they look like Superman. | ||
| I mean, this is going to happen and people are going to start taking this stuff. | ||
| And athletes are going to start taking it because regular people are going to start taking it too. | ||
| Because you're like, fuck, I want to live three times as long. | ||
| I want to be able to jump over buildings. | ||
| And if someone came along and they have a pill and they say, hey, Brian, would you like to take this super athlete pill? | ||
| There's no, you actually live longer. | ||
| You're going to be healthier because of it. | ||
| There's no repercussions physically. | ||
| And it's, you know, 100 bucks, 250 bucks and just changes you forever. | ||
| Well, fuck you. | ||
| Of course you take it. | ||
| At first, I'd let other people take it at first. | ||
| At first, but there would be a day where we would do the podcast. | ||
| But today is the at first. | ||
| Athletes are on the forefront of that and trying to tweak and hack their bodies. | ||
| It'll slowly disseminate down to the general public where every day your grade schooler's taking a pill because it's going to make them better at Tetherball. | ||
| Exactly, and you're going to be able to genetically engineer your child from birth eventually. | ||
| You're going to be able to say, I want a 6'6", super athletic, super mesomorph son with an incredible IQ. Talk about class wars. | ||
| That is when it's really – the shit is going to hit the fan. | ||
| Talk about the haves and have-nots. | ||
| Your kids have everything. | ||
| They're born with super vision, super speed, and super metabolism. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| How can I keep up with that? | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| But people have to understand that the inequality and the inequity of the world is what fuels innovation and what fuels people competing and competition. | ||
| It fuels change. | ||
| It fuels growth and evolution. | ||
| And in all forms of art, in all forms of technology, in all forms of anything where people are comparing their work to other people's work and trying to compete, It's important. | ||
| I mean, I don't think it needs to be complete and total inequality where, you know, some people are dying of starvation and other people are eating diamonds. | ||
| There's a balance to be achieved there. | ||
| But you have to realize that in competition is growth. | ||
| And that's how all this, that's the motivation, the energy behind all this. | ||
| I just imagine Kanye West starting a new trend of, yeah, I'm eating pure diamonds. | ||
| I just mix it into my fucking smoothies from Jamba Juice. | ||
| That's diamonds, motherfuckers. | ||
| That's what I'm drinking. | ||
| Yeah, he wouldn't be far behind that. | ||
| Did you hear about the kids that are dying off of taking bath salts and plant food? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's called like diamond dust. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've talked about that. | ||
| It's sort of what they're calling it bath salts to sell it. | ||
| We were totally confused when we first did it. | ||
| We thought that bath salts was actual bath salts and someone figured out that you can get high off of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they just labeled it that way. | ||
| Apparently, the chemical structure of it is not technically illegal because it's like a cousin of something that's illegal. | ||
| Yeah, it's called methadrone, I believe. | ||
| Don't put meth. | ||
| Even if it's a PH, don't put meth in the name of something if you want somebody to really try it. | ||
| They're making them illegal and one of the ways they're making them illegal is there's a law that allows you to make things illegal that are next-door neighbors' cousins to things that are illegal. | ||
| They use that with dimethyltryptamine and 5-methoxy dimethyltryptamine. | ||
| 5-methoxy... | ||
| DMT, NN-dimethyltryptamine, it was the big one that they used in the 60s, and that was the Army Research Lab. | ||
| They had buckets of this shit, and scientists were getting ahold of it, and that's how Mechanic got ahold of it, and a lot of other people got ahold of it. | ||
| Well, when they locked that shit down in 1970, they didn't know about 5-methoxy dimethyltryptamine, which is actually more potent gram-for-gram than regular. | ||
| And you could buy it online, man. | ||
| I bought this shit from American Chemical Company. | ||
| I ordered it online. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Many, many years ago. | ||
| Would it arrive as a powder? | ||
| It arrives, yeah, a powder into like a little vitamin bottle. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| There is enough in that thing to get barbecued for the rest of your life. | ||
| You can cook your brain. | ||
| How do you regulate and make something illegal that your body naturally produces and secretes? | ||
| Well, you know, that's a good point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Same. | |
| But, you know, your body also naturally secretes testosterone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's the question, like, should testosterone be available for everyone? | ||
| Well, like Sativex for weed. | ||
| They're like, well, you've heard of Sativex, right? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Pharmaceutical form of sativa. | ||
| And they've done trials with it in the UK. And they find that, oh, these medicinal marijuana, yeah, we can regulate it and put it in pill form. | ||
| We'll call it Sativex and it'll give the same effects as smoking a bowl of sativa weed. | ||
| They've managed to isolate. | ||
| Does it really work? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It's synthetic THC. But they're managed to make a naturally produced product illegal and then sell you the pill form of it, which is created in a lab. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How long before Monsanto starts genetically engineering marijuana and making its strains? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bacteria-resistant, this, that, the other, and then throwing Johnny Appleseeds out so everybody's growing it so they can sue you later. | ||
| So they can sue you, yeah. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| They're patenting nature. | ||
| That's really bizarre. | ||
| I mean, they're trying to patent pig parts and pigs and human organs. | ||
| I mean, that's next. | ||
| They'll find a way to slightly tweak, modify, and then patent the human genome. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They'll own a certain level of person. | ||
| And this type of person, you know, they can call them like artificial people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want a designer baby, that's fine. | ||
| But if he's going to have blue eyes and be over six feet, you owe Monsanto a check every month. | ||
| That's going to happen. | ||
| That is going to happen, right? | ||
| You're going to have to pay some sort of a royalty fee. | ||
| A subscription fee. | ||
| Subscription fee for the perfect child. | ||
| Apple's going to do it, too. | ||
| Where does it all end? | ||
| You know, I mean, there's the McKenna View, there's the Kurtz Wheel. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| Are you familiar at all with any of these people, like the Graham Hancocks or John Anthony West to the world, these people that believe that there was... | ||
| A distant civilization that was super advanced, that somehow or another everything fucked up, whether it was because of natural disasters or whether it was because of something man-made, and that we're literally another generation. | ||
| We have rebuilt from 6,000 plus years ago. | ||
| Right, like they sent DNA or sent embryos or whatever and shotgun blasted them out into space. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Oh, I've heard that theory. | ||
| Yeah, that's another theory. | ||
| That's pansperia. | ||
| I mean, well, no, I think you're talking about something differently. | ||
| I'm talking about stuff that came in on asteroids. | ||
| But what I'm talking about by this John Anthony West and Robert Shock and all these other, what they're subscribing to, Graham Hancock is another one, is that civilization at one point in time, whether it's 10,500, 12,500 BC, somewhere else, was very advanced. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, so like pyramids and Mayans, they figured it out and then they somehow fucked it up and we survived out of that. | ||
| Well, I think they're pretty sure that the pyramids were built at 2500 BC. But there's also some other shit around the pyramids that's confusing because there's some stuff, there's like certain styles of building and some of them they've found that are like deep, deep underground that they've had to like dig out. | ||
| And they were covered in sand. | ||
| The Sphinx, when they initially found it, was covered in sand. | ||
| And even back in the hieroglyph days, the Sphinx was covered in sand. | ||
| Who it was? | ||
| Thutmose III, I think it was, had to uncover it. | ||
| That's part of the hieroglyphs. | ||
| I think what they're trying to say is that at one point in time we had achieved great heights. | ||
| Whether or not exactly parallel with the way we live today, with technology, it might have been something different. | ||
| It might have been harnessing the power of sun with mirrors and limestone in a way that created a nuke blast as opposed to reactions. | ||
| Or it might have also been a psychedelically based society where we were much more into shamanic rituals and communicating with the spirit world or whatever the fuck that is. | ||
| It could have been a lot of that too. | ||
| I think it's very possible. | ||
| It's very, very possible. | ||
| Our ancestors could have been candy flippers. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That could have happened. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of evidence to that. | ||
| There's a lot of evidence. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| Soma, you know, and you go to the Vedic texts and, you know, they all talk about different psychedelic bruises. | ||
| It's pretty clear they're talking about something that you take, you know, and look, that stuff existed forever. | ||
| We know that. | ||
| We also know that ancient cultures have been worshipping cows since the beginning of time, and not even eating them, even when they're fucking starving. | ||
| And that, to me, reeks of some deity. | ||
| I mean, why is it a deity? | ||
| Oh, because we use their milk, and they plow the fields for us. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| You're getting cow shit, and there's mushrooms that grow that cow shit, and you're tripping your fucking balls off. | ||
| That's what's really going on. | ||
| You're worshipping these cows. | ||
| The worship that they have is not indicative of anything other than the consumption of psychedelics. | ||
| It's like this weird love for this cow. | ||
| He's producing a door that allows you to unlock things in your brain. | ||
| For that to happen to me, people naturally identify with their own type and are as cruel to animals as they need to be. | ||
| And when you're starving, you need to be cruel to animals. | ||
| But yet, they don't. | ||
| And there's this disconnect from their actual physical needs and this love that worships on this, you know, deifying this animal. | ||
| And we also know that they're big on fucking psychedelics. | ||
| We know that their past has lots of references in the ancient texts to psychedelics. | ||
| And psychedelic mushrooms grow better on cow shit than anywhere in the world. | ||
| That's the best place for them. | ||
| Hana Maui, by the way. | ||
| Where's that? | ||
| Hana Maui. | ||
| Oh, on the island? | ||
| Really? | ||
| You find them up there? | ||
| Yeah, you just take the road to Hana and when you're there at like the Hana Maui Resort, the big old hill, you just climb it at about 6 in the morning, it's everywhere. | ||
| You know the entire Pacific Northwest of the United States? | ||
| The entire Pacific Northwest literally is like a mind of spores. | ||
| It's like one gigantic organism, life form, like a base of spores. | ||
| They're fucking everywhere up there. | ||
| Psychedelic mushrooms, like there's people that go up there and find them and grow them, but it's all connected with some... | ||
| I mean, literally, if you believe that... | ||
| That psychedelic mushrooms are some sort of a life form from somewhere else, which a lot of people believe. | ||
| Much like they believe that the pansperia theory that we were talking about earlier, that amino acids and all sorts of water and different things came from asteroids, hit Earth, and that started in seeded life. | ||
| They believe that somehow or another these spores came from other planets. | ||
| Because spores can survive in a vacuum, and spores can survive the deep radiation of space. | ||
| And the fact that this is something that permeates one entire part of the country. | ||
| I remember reading something about it. | ||
| If you connected it all together, how far and how wide it is. | ||
| And these mushrooms keep growing in the same space, in the same air. | ||
| I just know that they made me see words come out of somebody's mouth once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That was the fucking trip of my life. | ||
| Would they look like English words? | ||
| Yeah, it was at a moment and I could hear conversations in the other room. | ||
| I couldn't hear them, but I could literally see words in 3D text form floating over the partitions in this guy's loft in downtown LA. And I was like, what? | ||
| And I looked at them and I'm like... | ||
| And I started recalling to my friend who was there. | ||
| Granted, this is all... | ||
| We're all fucked up. | ||
| But I'm like, they're talking about such and such in there. | ||
| Well, how do you hear that? | ||
| The music's loud. | ||
| I can see it. | ||
| And went in there and was literally, as people were talking to me, I was watching their mouths open up. | ||
| And the words that they were saying were physically coming out as text. | ||
| Their mouths were warping around it. | ||
| And so I must have looked like a tweaker and a half watching these words go by because I was trying to read it. | ||
| Like a ticker as they were talking. | ||
| So to the outside where I was scratching and going like this, they probably thought they'd fucked me up. | ||
| Did you ask them if you were right? | ||
| I was absolutely right. | ||
| We talk about it to this day. | ||
| Like I saw words coming out of people's mouths and was reading them. | ||
| Maybe I was hearing it and it was like some... | ||
| Your head was just... | ||
| Yeah, like a synesthesia. | ||
| My brain was going, this is what they're saying. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care. | |
| But you checked with them about what they were saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were you on? | ||
| Just mushrooms. | ||
| How much? | ||
| Not that much. | ||
| Lightweight. | ||
| A couple of stems, a couple of caps. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like peanut butter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See, what's weird, Kevin, is that a lot of people, especially that I met through Joe, they're firm believers of like, you just got to eat a shitload of mushrooms. | ||
| I've never done this my whole life. | ||
| It's always been like half an eighth maybe. | ||
| That even sounds like crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I just took like half of a half of the eighth recently and had probably the most hardcore visuals I've ever had in my life on mushrooms. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I have friends that smoke salvia and they'll see visual distortions in the room. | ||
| They'll look up and the ceiling will rip apart and snow will come in. | ||
| I'm like, that's cool. | ||
| That sounds fun. | ||
| When I smoke it, I go to another fucking dimension. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Another dimension. | ||
| I didn't do it right the first time I did it. | ||
| I only did it once and I didn't do it right. | ||
| I just did what they did. | ||
| I was like an out-of-body experience. | ||
| But what you guys are talking about, you absolutely can get a brilliant and beautiful experience from just a little bit of mushrooms. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| But It's not the same experience. | ||
| How do you know that, though? | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| Because I've done both? | ||
| Because you've done a little and you've done a lot? | ||
| Yeah, but you could have had it. | ||
| It's all about the mushrooms, I think. | ||
| Why are you saying how do you know that, dude? | ||
| This is documented throughout human history. | ||
| People have been doing it the shamanic way, where they take this large dose in silent darkness, and they do it, and they have a different experience than when you take smaller doses, and they know what they're doing. | ||
| I've had... | ||
| Physiologically, the different effects that it has on the human body. | ||
| But I've had... | ||
| The most I've ever had was probably maybe a quarter of mushrooms before. | ||
| Okay, but are you not listening to what you're saying? | ||
| Because if you're saying the most I've ever had, then you don't have experience about taking five grams or six grams. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You don't have that experience. | ||
| No, but I'm saying it in a different way. | ||
| I've had a quarter before, and yes, I've had a crazy ass shroom experience. | ||
| I had half of an eight the other day, and it blew that shit out of the water times a million, and it was just different mushrooms. | ||
| It could be that. | ||
| It also could be where you are physically. | ||
| It could be what you had in your stomach. | ||
| There's a lot of different things, but that doesn't mean anything because you haven't had the full-blown experience of the big dose to compare it to. | ||
| Yeah, but does it even do anything when it gets to a certain point? | ||
| I was going to say, for me, at some point, I don't know what's beyond that because I would have pissed myself and vomited all over myself. | ||
| I can't go any further than that physically. | ||
| McKenna did a lecture once and he was talking about a friend of his that chose to remain anonymous but he was like this like crazy psychedelic guy who every time he did mushrooms his goal was to try to tolerate more and he would go to like 10 grams and have these like you know What you do is you literally completely dissolve. | ||
| You cease to exist, and you make contact with whatever the fuck it is that you're making contact. | ||
| At first, it seems like another life form. | ||
| It seems like some sort of a thing that's communicating with you. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, it becomes like another world. | ||
| It becomes like this goes away. | ||
| And you go into this next sort of dimension. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's so religious and beautiful. | ||
| And when I say religious, it's like iconic imagery, but almost indescribable because they're morphing and changing around you. | ||
| But it's all like love and wisdom. | ||
| Warmth and acceptance and whatever. | ||
| It's powerful. | ||
| It's not poison. | ||
| The LD50 rate is ridiculously high. | ||
| You have to eat like shitloads of mushrooms to die. | ||
| It's not poison. | ||
| To die, yes. | ||
| But probably not... | ||
| I mean, mushrooms is a mushroom. | ||
| It is a poison to your body. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Mushroom is not poison, Brian. | ||
| Salt is poison. | ||
| Is salt poison? | ||
| Well, if you eat a half pound of salt, you'll fucking die. | ||
| It's not salt. | ||
| It's not a poison. | ||
| Strychnine is a fucking poison. | ||
| What psychedelic drugs are is there something that allows your body to tune into whatever the fuck it is, to change the chemical composition of your brain, to fuck with your neurochemistry to the point where... | ||
| But to be fair, some would define that as a poison. | ||
| They would say you're poisoning your body and that's why your stomach and your mind is reacting. | ||
| But it doesn't wreck your body. | ||
| It's shocking. | ||
| At the end, you're worn out. | ||
| Some people have lent mushrooms and psilocybin to depressiveness, bipolarism, manic states. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not good studies. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Those people might have been unstable to begin with. | ||
| Which is why they're doing psychedelic hardcore drugs in the first place. | ||
| Just like they tried to say salvia killed some kid, but he was having issues on antidepressants before then. | ||
| Sure, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What I'm saying is, you know, I'm absolutely with you that small doses can give you beautiful experiences, but it's a different thing than the high doses. | ||
| The high doses are ego-obliterating. | ||
| I'll never achieve that. | ||
| No? | ||
| You scared? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Scared, homie? | ||
| From that last time, man. | ||
| I know I had a flight the next day, and I ended up at LAX swiping my credit card from terminal to terminal in the machines, hoping one would recognize my itinerary and spit it out. | ||
| I was like, oh, this was really unprofessional. | ||
| I probably shouldn't have eaten all those mushrooms the night before a flight to New York and a shoot. | ||
| But you figured out how to get there. | ||
| How could you not figure out how to look at your phone and your email that tells you where you're supposed to go? | ||
| It's one of those things, man. | ||
| One of those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's some good shit. | |
| I had a really strong DMT trip, which is the last one that I had, and I haven't done anything like that in a couple of years. | ||
| Because it was so powerful that for like... | ||
| A couple weeks afterwards, nothing seemed normal. | ||
| I mean, everything worked. | ||
| I could read, I could watch TV, I could have conversations, I could talk to people. | ||
| No one would know that behind the surface, I was like, I don't believe in the world anymore. | ||
| I don't trust in this dimension. | ||
| You're waiting for Morpheus to load a patch to fly a helicopter into your brain because you believe now you're in the Matrix. | ||
| It was so humbling and so crazy and moving. | ||
| And people go, bro, it's just fucking drugs, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're just doing drugs and your head's getting all fucked up. | |
| It's all you're doing is you're doing drugs. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| We're not really sure what's going on, but I guarantee you that changed my life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I can guarantee you that whatever that is, if it's just drugs, you know, that just drugs changed me as a human being and made me reevaluate everything. | ||
| You know, and it's still to this day like haunting. | ||
| That's like saying, oh, it's just religion. | ||
| It's just something you believe in that changes every facet of your life that has given you visions and made you appreciate things in a new way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all it is. | |
| It's just religion. | ||
| It's the real religion. | ||
| The real religion is the psychedelic experience. | ||
| I mean, there's a John Marco Allegro book. | ||
| They're all just as real as you prescribe to them. | ||
| There's a John Marco Allegro book who is one of the scholars that reviewed the Dead Sea Scrolls. | ||
| He deciphered the Dead Sea Scrolls. | ||
| For 14 years, worked on it. | ||
| And at the end of 14 years, he said that the entire Christian religion was a huge misunderstanding. | ||
| And what it really was about was the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms and fertility cults. | ||
| And he wraps it all up. | ||
| It's almost impossible to follow, you know, like to follow the, you know, the origins of the words. | ||
| And it's like, it's really like trippy shit. | ||
| But the fact that this guy's got it locked down to this one mushroom, this psychedelic mushroom that's taken throughout Europe, you know, constantly. | ||
| You know, we know that the Vikings took mushrooms and they would go on berserkers. | ||
| You know, they would get fucked up on mushrooms and then go attack villages. | ||
| You know, I mean, that's how they were. | ||
| Yeah, man, they would get high on mushrooms. | ||
| I still maintain. | ||
| I found my spirituality on salvia. | ||
| I started with small doses and then I've done about six times and I don't want to do it again because the last time I did it was so fucking powerful and magical. | ||
| Very similar to your DMT experience. | ||
| Salvia is super potent. | ||
| I flew out of my brain and just went kind of canatonic and I saw parallel universes, parallel dimensions. | ||
| Spiraling out of the corner of my eye like I was just sort of floating in this in this abyss and I saw it was rotating it was making a noise it had gravity to it and it was almost like I could see wedges of reality if I couldn't look directly at it it would blind me but out of my peripheral I could see these wedges of reality going by and I was like what is that what is that And something said, just fucking go for it. | ||
| And so I remember reaching out my hand, what felt like my hand at the time, and it slowed the sphere down, and then it sucked me into one of those wedges. | ||
| And I felt like I was a kid running around in what felt like a Russian stadium, for whatever reason, holding a flag, and there was confetti. | ||
| And I was with a bunch of other kids, like it was a halftime celebration or some shit. | ||
| And I was like, yay! | ||
| It felt as real as any other experience I've had in my life. | ||
| And I shotgunned out of it, and then it was rotating, and I went... | ||
| Oh, can I do that again? | ||
| And I reached down and slowed it down. | ||
| And I went in and I was driving a car. | ||
| It was like another reality that I could have been living. | ||
| And it was just all dimensions. | ||
| And you can't tell me it was drugs, drugs, drugs. | ||
| Because it totally was to some extent. | ||
| But you can't tell me it wasn't as real as any other experience that I had. | ||
| And when I came to on the couch... | ||
| I just went, holy shit. | ||
| You're fucking freaking me out, man. | ||
| Did you record all these? | ||
| Like a good Salvia user? | ||
| Well, yes. | ||
| Yes, I did, actually. | ||
| Everybody was running it down. | ||
| I had one in the tank where I had eaten some pot. | ||
| And when you eat a lot of pot, especially if you eat the really strong shit, you can have some incredible visuals, man. | ||
| Have you ever eaten it on a plane and closed your eyes and see cartoons? | ||
| Not in pot. | ||
| I had to drive to Palm Springs just not too long ago on some edibles. | ||
| I had a very similar vision, whatever it is, hallucination. | ||
| Parallel dimensions and universes? | ||
| Yeah, with mine, I was in the center of what it started out with me. | ||
| What it started out with is like, with the tank, I mean, how many times have you done the tank? | ||
| Only like three or four. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With me? | |
| But I've never done it high. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you, son? | ||
| I met some dude named Crash on the boardwalk who was trying to tell me about vibrating my spirit, and then he's like, yeah, I hop in my tank. | ||
| Yeah, he's crazy, but he's right. | ||
| But don't begrudge me smoking pot before I hop into Crash's time machine. | ||
| You're scared. | ||
| I played too many point-and-click adventure games to know that that could end with Rape. | ||
| Choose your own adventure. | ||
| With me, it started out just getting to the center, relaxing, letting go, and then once I let go, then it always feels like once I get to a certain point of relaxation and I've completely calmed my mind, then it starts to take me away, almost like as if I feel like I'm in a river. | ||
| I feel like I'm awash in some sort of invisible... | ||
| You feel like a molecule, like a single molecule? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, as I was doing this, I came to a point where I recognized my space, and then the space of the planet, and then the planet in the space of the galaxy, and the galaxy in the space of the universe. | ||
| And then the whole universe became like this bubble that was trapped inside some gigantic, infinite ball of yarn. | ||
| And each thread... | ||
| Of this ball of yarn was like one universe after another universe and they were all together swirling in this moving ball of yarn of universes connected like circles connected even with a tube like they connected them all together and it was all luminescent and it was all I was trying to take in all the information that was going on all these different various worlds but it was all different and all the same and it was all happening simultaneously and as I was trying to figure out like how big this This ball of yarn is. | ||
| It got literally too big for me to wrap my head around. | ||
| Then I snapped out of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then I lost it. | ||
| How long were you in the tank? | ||
| A couple hours. | ||
| A couple hours, yeah. | ||
| The deeper I get, the longer I'm in there, the more I can relax. | ||
| And it's almost like you achieve different wavelengths, different mind frequencies. | ||
| I know that you do in meditation, in extreme meditation. | ||
| They've taken monks and they've done studies. | ||
| I am so jealous and envious of that shit. | ||
| Of monks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, just the people that can deep meditate and get to that place versus needing to take salvia or needing to smoke some DMT. I'm not capable of shutting it all off like that. | ||
| But if you do that deep meditating, like the monk life? | ||
| Yeah, if I did it every day and that was my only existence, then sure, that'd be fine. | ||
| But I got a mortgage. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I got to cheat to get to space. | ||
| You want to get laid, okay? | ||
| You want to watch TV. Fuck all that monk shit. | ||
| I need Netflix and cartoons. | ||
| I'll find the universe by smoking it. | ||
| You can get it there, though. | ||
| I got a conversation with my ego on salvia, and that was true. | ||
| I found it inside the visualizer of my Xbox 360 of all places. | ||
| That son of a bitch was hiding out in there. | ||
| I put that on and at the time you could use the vision cam so when you move around it would make the visuals on the screen go nuts. | ||
| Jeff Minter is a genius. | ||
| Remember the 3DO? Do you remember the 3DO at all? | ||
| Oh, the 3DO. The console. | ||
| Yeah, 3DO. It used to come with a trippy game where you could control this kaleidoscope. | ||
| And when I used to be a kid doing acid, that was like the first lava link. | ||
| Okay, get to your ego. | ||
| I took a rip and handed the bowl to a friend and was like, oh shit. | ||
| And there it went and I started dissolving the similar single molecule. | ||
| Oh, I'm within my couch now. | ||
| My couch is made of molecules. | ||
| Cool, get out of that. | ||
| Projected forth and was like, oh, the Xbox looks pretty sweet right now. | ||
| Why don't I just fly into that? | ||
| And I did and there was this pulsating ball after I went through all these little wormholes and tunnel and it was pulsating to the beat of the music that was happening. | ||
| And I knew that I could go further but I was like, what's going on here? | ||
| And he's like, oh, I'm every issue you have right now. | ||
| You know exactly what I am. | ||
| And I was like, oh, fuck. | ||
| What's in my Xbox visualizer? | ||
| What's going on, bro? | ||
| And he's like, you know what you need to get in order. | ||
| You know you need to fucking fix your shit. | ||
| I was like, yeah, I know, I know. | ||
| He's like, so relax and fix it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| We had a whole conversation. | ||
| And I was like, cool, can I go swim around in the visuals now? | ||
| And he's like, party on, bro. | ||
| Like totally gave me the permission to go flying around. | ||
| And it was incredible. | ||
| One of the most amazing and underappreciated aspects of any psychedelic experience is the work that you do on your own personality and your mind and uncovering all the bullshit that's fucking with us. | ||
| That's why people have, not everybody, but that's why some of my friends have had bad trips. | ||
| It's obvious, oh, I reached a point where I felt like I was going to die and I felt like, no, you were getting deconstructed as a human being and you weren't ready to come to grips with the fact that there might be something bigger than you. | ||
| That there might be something real that you're about to experience and you couldn't let that go. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| And that's the issue. | ||
| Well, paranoia. | ||
| I mean, we had this conversation many times, and someone recently brought this up on the message board. | ||
| They were talking about the people that get paranoid are the people that aren't dealing with their life. | ||
| They've got some shit that they don't like about themselves. | ||
| They feel fucking creepy, and that's the reason why they freak out every time they get high. | ||
| It's like the marijuana does not allow you to have secrets. | ||
| The marijuana turns some lights on in the corner in the attic of your house and goes, Hey, what's going on? | ||
| What's all this shit over here? | ||
| What are you hiding over here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's that, kiddie porn? | |
| And the roaches scatter out through your mouth and your eyes and everything else. | ||
| I had my internal monologue switched with my external monologue once on mushrooms. | ||
| And I remember looking at people like, why the fuck are you looking at me right now? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Is that a red watch? | ||
| Why the fuck are you staring at me like that right now? | ||
| And I was saying it all out loud. | ||
| And it was completely switched for about 30 minutes. | ||
| People were chatting with my internal monologue. | ||
| And everything I wanted to externalize was swallowed inside. | ||
| And it was like, fuck. | ||
| Thankfully, I'm a decent enough person to where I didn't admit to the bodies in the basement. | ||
| But that could have been bad. | ||
| Do you think that psychedelics, or have you ever even considered, that they're agents of human evolution and that they're here to rocket you forward and rocket us forward and the reason why we're not monkeys? | ||
| I believe in a mixture of all those things, but I certainly can understand an animal taking something and thinking about a rock in a different way and going, that could be a spear to kill an animal. | ||
| Why the fuck not? | ||
| If I can see other planets and have a chat with my Xbox visuals, why couldn't a gorilla in a forest have realized a better way to keep warm? | ||
| Yeah, psychedelic mushrooms have been around in the current state for thousands and thousands and thousands of years, long predating what we know of as human civilization. | ||
| We know monkeys will eat anything. | ||
| They'll try shit out. | ||
| They'll try anything out. | ||
| They'll pee in their own mouths in a tree. | ||
| It's the greatest video ever. | ||
| It is pretty good. | ||
| They'll do whatever they want. | ||
| It's almost as good as the one where he fleshlights a frog. | ||
| Oh my god, that poor frog. | ||
| That's just a bomb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that he goes through the gorilla sutra. | |
| He tries different positions with it. | ||
| He's like, I'm going to sit on my back. | ||
| Nah, that's not enough. | ||
| I'm going to teabag him for a while. | ||
| He really puts that frog through its paces. | ||
| And it's amazing that people are sitting there watching, too. | ||
| And they're laughing and filming it and joking around. | ||
| Families are there and shit. | ||
| And this chimp is just mouth-fucking the shit out of his frog. | ||
| Meanwhile, hide your eyes from real sex and turn your eyes towards all the slaughter and murder on TV. We talked about this before, but I'll just bring it up one more time before we get out of here. | ||
| There's... | ||
| A website that had this horrific video of drug killing in Mexico. | ||
| And this guy had been chopped up into all sorts of pieces. | ||
| And they showed everything in graphic detail. | ||
| Except they cut his hands off. | ||
| And in one of the hands was his dick and balls. | ||
| And his dick and balls, they blurred out. | ||
| They blurred it. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| You've got to pixelate that. | ||
| We can't let the kids know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What a weird world. | ||
| You hear about the protests going on right now in Mexico. | ||
| Do you think that's about to boil over really fast? | ||
| What is going on? | ||
| There are thousands of people in the streets about the drug cartels and the violence on the same day that they discovered mass graves. | ||
| Yeah, they discovered another mass grave. | ||
| This is the same place where there's 72 people recently. | ||
| This is over 50 people. | ||
| It's terrifying, man. | ||
| That's really close to all of us. | ||
| It's all happening right now. | ||
| Meanwhile, we've got to go to Libya. | ||
| We've got to go to Afghanistan. | ||
| And keep that War on Drugs hopping along so that we finance all that shit. | ||
| That's the insane part. | ||
| It's all fucking crazy, Kevin. | ||
| It's all crazy. | ||
| This has been the uplifting podcast. | ||
| This is a badass podcast. | ||
| This is chicken soup for the podcast. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| Anytime you want to come on, you're more than welcome. | ||
| It was a fascinating, awesome conversation. | ||
| Appreciate it, man. | ||
| It's been a joy. | ||
| I enjoyed it very, very much. | ||
| Pleasure to have you on, and thank you very much for wanting to be on it in the first place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| So you can get a hold of Kevin on Twitter. | ||
| Please follow him, for he is, in fact, the shit. | ||
| And you can get him on... | ||
| His Twitter is K-P-E-R-E-I-R-A. So K Pereira in the house, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| And watch Attack of the Show on G4. Yes. | ||
| When is that on on G4? It's 7 p.m. | ||
| Eastern, and you can find us online at g4tv.com. | ||
| And you film it Monday through Thursday, correct? | ||
| Yeah, we're live every day. | ||
| Live every day, you dirty hoes. | ||
| Thank you very much for tuning in, everybody. | ||
| There's still a couple tickets left for Toronto, April 29th, for the Massey Hall Theatre. | ||
| Philly, I believe, is totally sold out, even though we added that second show on Thursday. | ||
| If it's not, second show Thursday is all that's left. | ||
| And that is next weekend. | ||
| And that's a full death squad, bitches. | ||
| That's Ari Shafir and Joe Diaz next weekend in Philly. | ||
| And I'm excited to see you, bitches. | ||
| Thank you very much for coming in. | ||
| Coming in? | ||
| You guys didn't even come in. | ||
| This show's over. | ||
| Check out DeathSquad.tv too. | ||
| Check out DeathSquad.tv and subscribe to DeathSquad if you're looking for more podcasts. | ||
| Brian has his own podcast network thing going on on iTunes. | ||
| It's called DeathSquad and every day it's different shows. | ||
| It's Ari Shafir, Tom Segura. | ||
| High level stand-up comedians are sitting around shooting the shit and it's great stuff. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I love you freaks. | ||
| Where's my flashlight? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I'll get Kevin a flashlight. | ||
| And go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link that says Fleshlight, get 15% off the number one adult toy in the world, and Kevin's going to fuck one tonight. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| All right, thank you, everybody. | ||
| Love you. |
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