April 5, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:48:49
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Fight Week. | |
| It's here. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| It's here. | ||
| We're just a couple days away. | ||
| Here we are, Thursday, we got Friday, and then Saturday's fights, and I gotta go. | ||
| I'm gonna be in Jacksonville, Florida. | ||
| I'm gonna be doing commentary in an empty arena. | ||
| No one's gonna be near me. | ||
| Everybody has to be really far away from each other. | ||
| We're gonna be on separate corners of the octagon, which fucking sucks. | ||
| You, DC, and Anik. | ||
| And Anik. | ||
| Because when things go crazy, DC and I always grab each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| We're like, ah! | ||
| You guys vibe off of each other. | ||
| Can't do that. | ||
| Everybody's a pussy. | ||
| But we're all tested. | ||
| That's what doesn't make any sense. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| If you all agree, we'll risk it, man. | ||
| We're all healthy. | ||
| We're all fine. | ||
| Well, not only are we all healthy and fine, we're tested. | ||
| We're clean. | ||
| We don't have it. | ||
| We don't have to be far apart from each other. | ||
| I got tested yesterday. | ||
| I got the results back from my nose swab. | ||
| That's negative. | ||
| And then two days before that, I took an antibody test. | ||
| That's negative, too. | ||
| I'm 100% negative. | ||
| So whose idea is this? | ||
| It's fucking the state. | ||
| The state just has real rigid guidelines, apparently. | ||
| They just want to make sure that everybody's safe. | ||
| Cam Haynes wanted to come with me. | ||
| He couldn't come. | ||
| He can't have anybody else. | ||
| Do you know what Cam would do to COVID? It doesn't have a chance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not a chance. | |
| Someone with that kind of cardio? | ||
| God, come on, man. | ||
| Listen, I had Elon on the podcast yesterday, and we talked about what the actual death rate is versus what everyone thought it was going to be. | ||
| Is he good at reading stats? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He said it's a magnitude of 10 to 50 times less deadly than they thought it was going to be. | ||
| It's pretty big. | ||
| That's huge. | ||
| Especially when they start getting to things like... | ||
| I don't know if you've seen the... | ||
| There's a prison where they tested these prisoners and 98% of them had it and... | ||
| Had no idea. | ||
| Asymptomatic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Everybody was fine. | ||
| Yeah, they're finding that in a lot of places. | ||
| A lot of people are asymptomatic. | ||
| And Elon goes hard in the paint, too. | ||
| Yeah, he goes hard in the paint. | ||
| Which I love. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| He said yesterday, if you got bit by a shark and died and you had COVID, they would count it as a COVID death. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| I mean, he's probably making a joke. | ||
| He is, but he's not. | ||
| Yeah, but he's not. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's not. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so ridiculous, man. | |
| Did we find out whether or not that's true about the heart attacks, the heart disease? | ||
| Because someone else brought it up to me today. | ||
| Someone else who's a pretty smart person in New York. | ||
| I looked. | ||
| I couldn't even find the numbers. | ||
| So I don't know where they got those numbers. | ||
| See if there's an article. | ||
| I looked hard. | ||
| I looked hard. | ||
| Is the podcast out? | ||
| I looked hard. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Is the podcast out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's out. | ||
| Does he mention how... | ||
| Isn't it weird that the death rate went down once the flu season's over? | ||
| Did he talk about that? | ||
| How they're counting flu as COVID too? | ||
| Yeah, that was the thing. | ||
| If you have flu and COVID, they count it as COVID. Yeah. | ||
| And then the flu, you know, look, COVID's not good, but it's not what we were worried about. | ||
| It's not what we thought it was going to be. | ||
| It shouldn't have shut down the economy. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think shutting it down for a couple weeks is not a bad idea to get a sense of it, but once the numbers are back, I mean, I think right now it needs to restart. | ||
| People need to be precautious. | ||
| They need to follow social distancing guidelines, wear masks if possible, especially until we get it all wrapped up and figure out what it is in terms of what the treatment... | ||
| What is that stuff called again? | ||
| Remdesivir? | ||
| Remdesivir. | ||
| Remdesivir, this new antiviral treatment that they say is... | ||
| Supposed to work? | ||
| Working really well with it. | ||
| I think you have underlying health conditions and you're over 60, put on a mask. | ||
| If you don't, it should be up to me if I want to wear it. | ||
| Did you know that the average age of COVID death users or people who get COVID and die is higher than the average age of death? | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| I'm so glad Elon came on. | ||
| Isn't that a crazy number? | ||
| He just dropped some fucking knowledge. | ||
| That's a crazy number. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And there's this weird, like, toxic culture who wants it to be bad. | ||
| So when Elon spits these facts, I'm sure your podcast comes out, people are like, no, and they start throwing other facts. | ||
| Like, no, dude, these are the stats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's tough to argue with these hard, cold facts, man. | |
| Well, Elon's not a doctor. | ||
| Again, save it, dude. | ||
| We're looking at stats. | ||
| I think he can read stats. | ||
| The dude's going to get us to Mars. | ||
| He can build a fucking planet, you know? | ||
| I think we're going to be alright. | ||
| He can read those. | ||
| I'm going to listen to that guy. | ||
| Yeah, it's not what we thought it was going to be. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Everybody was scared two months ago. | ||
| Everybody was like, holy shit, the plague's coming. | ||
| And it's not that. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| We got lucky. | ||
| It's a bad cold. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| Kills some people. | ||
| It fucks people up with respiratory disease. | ||
| It's really bad for people that are obese. | ||
| It's really bad for old people. | ||
| Everything's bad for old people and obese people, though. | ||
| Everything's bad, man. | ||
| That's reality. | ||
| That's reality. | ||
| Get in shape, man. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Say it. | ||
| Say it. | ||
| Get the fucking shape. | ||
| Preach. | ||
| Join the Thick Boys Bike Club, man. | ||
| Get your fat ass in there. | ||
| Bro, how many fucking rattlesnakes are in your neighborhood? | ||
| Every day you're sending me a video of a new rattlesnake. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that's like that dirt Mulholland Road and the Topanga Canyon. | ||
| Like, that's those dirt roads. | ||
| And they're everywhere. | ||
| Do they go on the road in the sun? | ||
| They go on the road in the sun. | ||
| And now I'm just, I don't know, accustomed to it. | ||
| I used to be so scared to buy it in the morning. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| God, here we go. | ||
| I'd be so scared. | ||
| But now, it's like they're not going to bother me. | ||
| I mean, if I step on one, it's going to be trouble. | ||
| But I'd still rather get COVID than get bit by a rattlesnake. | ||
| I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But they look like these big logs. | ||
| That Mike Posner guy, he got bit by a rattlesnake. | ||
| He got bit by one. | ||
| He was fucked up, right? | ||
| It was a baby one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So they had stronger venom, I guess? | ||
| No, that's a myth, apparently. | ||
| Yeah, apparently. | ||
| All right, well. | ||
| They all suck. | ||
| It didn't look like it was fun. | ||
| Did you see the one I seen today? | ||
| How about that bad boy? | ||
| He was a little aggressive, too. | ||
| A little big. | ||
| He was a little aggressive. | ||
| And then he started heading my way. | ||
| Oh, dude, come on. | ||
| So I'm trying to make noise. | ||
| I'm like, come on, dude. | ||
| Go that way, man. | ||
| Every morning I see him. | ||
| Every morning. | ||
| Do you know their venom? | ||
| Apparently it's like it digests the animal. | ||
| So like if they kill a rabbit with their venom, it actually helps digest the rabbit. | ||
| It breaks down the tissue. | ||
| So when people get bit by it, it makes your skin rot. | ||
| It makes your meat rot. | ||
| So if it was going to swallow you, it allows it to digest you easier. | ||
| I think my big ass would be okay. | ||
| I think I'd be alright. | ||
| It's gonna be such a nightmare. | ||
| You can get fucked up, man. | ||
| You can get fucked up by Rattlesnake Venom. | ||
| Such a nightmare. | ||
| I watched this horrible fucking website where they had a series of photographs of this guy that got bit on the arm and they had to med vac him out of there and they had to do a bunch of procedures and skin grafts and all kinds of shit and his arm was fucked up. | ||
| It was like it rotted a hole through his arm. | ||
| Did you watch that thing I sent you about Alex Smith, that quarterback? | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| I started watching. | ||
| I couldn't. | ||
| It was gross. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| He got some flesh-eating bacteria in his leg, a compound fracture when he was playing for the Redskins. | ||
| He had to take muscle from his left leg and put it in the right leg. | ||
| It's just a nightmare. | ||
| I probably would have amputated it. | ||
| What? | ||
| He's still under contract. | ||
| He's going to try to plague him, but I mean, I don't know if that's going to happen. | ||
| It was so bad where they're like, you're not going to have motion in your foot. | ||
| And when we see these kind of injuries, it's usually soldiers from stepping on IEDs or whatever. | ||
| So most of the time they just amputate it because your leg's never going to be the same. | ||
| Otherwise, you're looking at an 18-month, you know, you're in this cast with braces and screws into the muscle and the bone. | ||
| You're looking at that long layover. | ||
| And even after that, you're probably not going to have motion in your foot. | ||
| I'm like, dude, just take it off. | ||
| Give me that fucking cool RoboCop carbon fiber one. | ||
| Toss some specialized stickers on that bitch. | ||
| Get sponsored. | ||
| But the thing is, they're changing, like every year, they're changing what they can and can't do in terms of like biologicals, like stem cells and different treatments they come up with. | ||
| You know, they can fix ACLs now without using anything other than your ACL. Oh, damn. | ||
| Yeah, Dr. Roddy McGee was showing me these videos of this guy who they did it to and then he went into the Olympics four months after surgery. | ||
| That's pretty gangster. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They're blowing out their ACLs, right? | ||
| The ACL snaps. | ||
| Which was game over back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, well, it used to be they had to replace it either with a patella tendon graft, hamstring graft, or a cadaver. | ||
| Or a cadaver, yeah. | ||
| I've had a patella tendon graft on the left and a cadaver on my right. | ||
| But this thing, now they're taking the actual ACL that exists and they have some new way of suturing it and they squirt some stem cells up in there and it heals up. | ||
| And you're good to go. | ||
| Yeah, it heals up. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty crazy. | ||
| So my thought is that they're always coming up with new ways to fix things. | ||
| So don't cut your leg off. | ||
| Don't cut your leg off just for stickers. | ||
| Just to get a sponsor? | ||
| No, my thing is, is robotics are coming along too, so you might become some badass with this robot leg. | ||
| My worry is one day, artificial leg's going to be so good, people are going to get their good legs removed so they can get an artificial leg. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's going to feel like a regular leg. | ||
| And you just run forever. | ||
| It's like an e-bike. | ||
| Jump over buildings and shit. | ||
| Be sick. | ||
| It's going to be wild. | ||
| You become a superhero. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Six million dollar man. | ||
| Remember that shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Except it's going to be way more than six million bucks. | ||
| A lot more. | ||
| But Alex Smith can afford it. | ||
| That's what's going to happen in the future, probably. | ||
| Yeah, don't cut the leg off. | ||
| Don't listen to me, Alex. | ||
| If you're listening to this, don't get your leg off. | ||
| Have you watched the Countdown show for this weekend's event? | ||
| I watched it. | ||
| Did you see the trailer that I posted? | ||
| No, I did not. | ||
| What did you post? | ||
| I got emotional watching it. | ||
| Well, Dana posted it, and someone sent it to me. | ||
| I'm like, oh shit, I go to post it. | ||
| Dana has me blocked, so I can't click on his profile and see it. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, we're blocking people now? | ||
| We're throwing spinach shit? | ||
| When did he block you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably when we got into that whole scuffle on Instagram. | ||
| But that was his doing, not mine. | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| At least two years ago. | ||
| That's his doing, not mine. | ||
| I tried so hard to mend that bridge. | ||
| I've had so many sit-downs. | ||
| I don't get the hate, man. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| But I love both of you, so it's a problem. | ||
| You know, it's like, I don't get it. | ||
| But it's so strange, like, when you look at a list of people, like, who's a bigger advocate for the UFC? Nobody. | ||
| Nobody but you. | ||
| I mean, you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you work for them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't receive a dime off of them. | ||
| I know, yeah. | ||
| But I shot from the rooftop. | ||
| Well, you know, some people, they fucking dig their heels in. | ||
| Yeah, he's like Michael Jordan. | ||
| He just doesn't let anything go. | ||
| Oh, is this the thing that talks about, I did see this. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Might be the best promo they've ever made. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| The Countdown show begins with this. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It makes me so proud to be part of the UFC. The Countdown show is so good, man. | ||
| The Countdown show is so good. | ||
| And you see Justin. | ||
| First of all, Justin. | ||
| How hilarious is Justin Gaethje? | ||
| He goes, I hope he breaks my nose so I can get it fixed. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Because you hear him talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's talking, he's talking like this. | |
| You know his nose is useless. | ||
| His nose is useless. | ||
| It's smashed. | ||
| I mean, his style is so face forward. | ||
| He's such a brawler in a good way. | ||
| I think, yeah, don't call him a brawler. | ||
| I've learned the hard way. | ||
| Look, I'm a giant fan of that guy. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I'm a fan of his personality, his mindset, the way he approaches fights. | ||
| His attitude, yeah. | ||
| He's here. | ||
| He's kill or be killed. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| I think this is actually a tougher fight for Tony Ferguson than the Khabib fight. | ||
| It's a scary fight for anybody. | ||
| If you're locked in the cage with Justin Gaethje, it is war. | ||
| It's a different fight. | ||
| It's like Tony Ferguson was getting ready to go deep scuba diving, deep sea scuba diving, and we know you can go in the deep waters, but we know what to expect. | ||
| It's going to be a bitch, dude, but you know what to expect. | ||
| With Gaethje, it's like, you're not scuba diving anymore. | ||
| You're snorkeling, and you're in hurricane waters, and you gotta get past the initial part, and it's a motherfucker. | ||
| But if you get past that, you can be alright. | ||
| But good luck, man. | ||
| Because these waves are fucking common, dude. | ||
| Yeah, he's a different kind of guy because he's so reckless. | ||
| He takes big chances. | ||
| He doesn't play it safe at all. | ||
| And the other thing is, you know, Tony gets hit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He'll stand in front of you. | ||
| The Venata fight. | ||
| You look at the Pettis fight. | ||
| The Johnson fight. | ||
| The Venata fight is a really good example of that. | ||
| But I think the Lando-Venata fight, first of all, he took it on short notice. | ||
| And second of all... | ||
| Awkward. | ||
| Lando's... | ||
| Nobody knew. | ||
| Lando's good, man. | ||
| He's good and he's very awkward. | ||
| Yeah, he's very awkward. | ||
| But Tony gets hit early on in every fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'll get hit. | |
| He wants to play that game. | ||
| The Anthony Pettis one, he got wobbled. | ||
| With Gaethje, he can't really play that game. | ||
| He cracks, dude. | ||
| At 55, he cracks. | ||
| He doesn't just crack. | ||
| There's no space. | ||
| He doesn't give you any space. | ||
| He jumps all over you. | ||
| If he gets you hurt, he'll throw himself right into the fire. | ||
| It's like he's not worried about losing. | ||
| And that's real. | ||
| People say that sometimes, but I don't think they really mean it. | ||
| That's a gift. | ||
| He really means it. | ||
| That's a gift. | ||
| It's a real gift for him. | ||
| Yeah, he's got a very unusual mindset. | ||
| I don't think Tony has either, though. | ||
| That's what makes this fight so fascinating. | ||
| That's why I think I love Khabib and I want Khabib Tony, but this fight to me is more entertaining. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| Which is weird to say. | ||
| No, I think Gaethje's more entertaining than anybody. | ||
| He's so fucking wild. | ||
| And then Tony's more entertaining than anybody too. | ||
| Everybody who fights Tony looks like they fell off a train. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Look at the Cowboy's face was a fucking mess. | ||
| Everyone's a mess. | ||
| Pettis is covered in blood. | ||
| Everybody gets fucked up. | ||
| There's a photograph that shows the list of the last nine or ten people that Tony's fought. | ||
| Everyone looks like they got shot in the face. | ||
| They all look like Ted Bundy victims? | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Look at those people. | ||
| Everyone's face is just a fucking holy wreck. | ||
| Everybody looks dead. | ||
| And the cardio. | ||
| The Tony Ferguson cardio. | ||
| That's why you got to get past that first initial wave of Justin Gaethje. | ||
| But after then, Tony doesn't get tired. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never gets tired. | ||
| His cardio is off the charts. | ||
| I wonder if anybody's going to shoot. | ||
| Because they're both such phenomenal wrestlers. | ||
| People forget how good Tony is at wrestling. | ||
| Gaethje never shoots. | ||
| He's got zero takedowns in the UFC. Zero. | ||
| Zero takedown attempts. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| I go back and forth on picking who's going to win the fight. | ||
| As far as if you want to make money, Gaethje's a good dog, but it'd be impossible to pick against Tony Ferguson if that lost in eight years. | ||
| The other thing is Gaethje comes in, and he comes in with his head lower. | ||
| Well, that's Snap City for Tony Ferguson with his Darces, his Anacondas. | ||
| And the other thing is we don't really know what kind of jiu-jitsu or jiu-jitsu defense Gaethje has. | ||
| He hasn't been in a scramble with a real high-level guy. | ||
| It's a big unknown. | ||
| And I think that Tony is one of the trickiest submission artists in the sport. | ||
| He's very sneaky. | ||
| He catches darces and scrambles. | ||
| He's got leg locks. | ||
| He's got triangles. | ||
| He tapped Kevin Lee off his back with a triangle. | ||
| He basically can do everything. | ||
| See, I wouldn't be surprised if Tony at one point starts diving for those ankles. | ||
| Because if you're not subversed in jiu-jitsu, that's where it gets dicey for guys. | ||
| You know how it is when a guy comes in and he doesn't know leg locks. | ||
| You get in this rabbit hole, man. | ||
| You can't keep up. | ||
| Especially if you haven't been training it. | ||
| You can't keep up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And Tony has a leg lock game. | ||
| Eddie Bravo's his coach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's got everything. | ||
| He's got everything. | ||
| And his fucking hands are off the charts. | ||
| He's so weird, too. | ||
| Like, the way he moves. | ||
| Tony is so creative with his striking. | ||
| And it's almost like he moves almost like he's breakdancing in there. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, he's fucking stepping side to side, left, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pop! | |
| And then a jab comes out of nowhere. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is he doing? | ||
| I can't tell you who would win the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I can't tell you. | ||
| I love it, though. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| I absolutely love it. | ||
| I cannot wait. | ||
| Cannot wait. | ||
| To me, this is one of the biggest UFC fights of all time. | ||
| It's a giant card. | ||
| The card is stacked. | ||
| It is one of the most stacked cards in the history of the sport. | ||
| Since UFC 100. From top to bottom, UFC 100. There's so many great fights that people are forgetting. | ||
| Like, oh, yeah. | ||
| Look, Francis Ngannou versus Rosenstreich. | ||
| I mean, that fight! | ||
| Filthy dude! | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Dude, how about Dominic Cruz? | ||
| The King of 135! | ||
| The King of 135! | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| And everybody's forgetting, it's so good, people forgot Jeremy Stevens versus Calvin Cater! | ||
| That's a fucking fight. | ||
| Look, I really believe Calvin Cater is the dark horse in that division. | ||
| I think he might be the champ someday. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| He's got a real shot. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Goddamn, that's a good fight. | ||
| I wish I was five rounds though. | ||
| Kader's better than five. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Well, if you look at the Zabit fight, he was fucking Zabit up in that third round. | ||
| He would have been Zabit, man. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I wholeheartedly believe that. | ||
| He might have stopped him. | ||
| The third round, he was chasing him down. | ||
| He was walking him down. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| Fabricio Verdum is back. | ||
| Olenek? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Hey, you know what I picture is Olenek's team going, dude, you got to fight. | ||
| He's like, oh, yeah? | ||
| Who's getting this ten-finger choke? | ||
| They're all, yeah, it's Verdum. | ||
| He's like, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| He's not getting the temperature. | ||
| He's joking for doom out. | ||
| You know, boy. | ||
| Goddamn it. | ||
| Strike and match. | ||
| Uriah Hall vs. | ||
| Jacare. | ||
| Carla Esparza vs. | ||
| Michelle Watterson. | ||
| Stacked. | ||
| Holy shit, what a card. | ||
| Even go to the pre-prelims. | ||
| Pettis vs. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Vicente Luque vs. | ||
| Nico Price. | ||
| Holy shit, that's a good card. | ||
| Dude, Bryce Mitchell, Charles Rosa. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| Oh my god, Ryan Spann, Sam Alvior, right from the fucking jump, it's awesome. | ||
| Fight of the Night's all over the board. | ||
| All over the place. | ||
| Good luck fighting for that bonus. | ||
| It's such a good card. | ||
| It's such a good card. | ||
| Well, when you're trying to jam, you know, all this goodness into one event because you've had this fucked up situation happen where, how many cards have been canceled? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four? | |
| Five cards? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The last fight was in Brazil, and was that January? | ||
| It was March. | ||
| It was March. | ||
| It was right after the UFC event that I did, which was the 7th. | ||
| I commentated on that one in Vegas. | ||
| So I guess it was the 14th? | ||
| In Brazil. | ||
| Was that it? | ||
| I think. | ||
| I think somewhere around there, the 14th. | ||
| And that was the one where Gilbert knocked out Damian Maia. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And now he's fighting Woodley. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| I like that a lot. | ||
| That means, you know, I love Gilbert, but for Woodley to take that fight, you know, he usually picks and chooses who he wants to fight, so... | ||
| Yeah, what is, um... | ||
| They said that Dana... | ||
| I gotta talk to Dana this weekend, and he probably... | ||
| If he tells me, I can't tell you. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you. | ||
| Tell me? | ||
| I can't tell everybody else. | ||
| Oh, gotcha. | ||
| There's some sort of a fight for, um... | ||
| For Masvidal. | ||
| I think it's Connor on Fight Island. | ||
| That's what my fight brain's going towards. | ||
| Because he said, we have a bigger fight for Masvidal. | ||
| Because they said Kamaru versus Masvidal for the belt, right? | ||
| That was the talk forever. | ||
| And he goes, we have a more exciting fight. | ||
| I'm like, well, there's only two guys who'd be bigger. | ||
| GSP. Nah, I'd love if GSP, but I don't think so. | ||
| GSP. You know why? | ||
| No belt. | ||
| No belt. | ||
| They don't have to worry about GSP taking off. | ||
| Taking off. | ||
| GSP fights Masvidal. | ||
| That'd be gigantic. | ||
| The nice guy versus the bad boy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gigantic. | |
| Conor, Masvidal is the fight, but then I wasn't even thinking of GSP. How about GSP Conor? | ||
| Amazing fight. | ||
| At 170. Amazing. | ||
| Well, I don't like Conor at 170, but... | ||
| GSP Conor at 170. Dude, ready for this? | ||
| How about Masvidal, Nick Diaz? | ||
| Masvidal, Nick Diaz, GSP Conor, same card. | ||
| Fight Island. | ||
| Good Lord! | ||
| I might have to take a trip to wherever the fuck it is. | ||
| Yeah, I might fly down there. | ||
| Where do you think Fight Island is? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No one wants to tell me. | ||
| It's one of that Bronson's islands. | ||
| The Virgin Island guy. | ||
| You know the Virgin Records or whatever the fuck? | ||
| That guy? | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's one of his islands. | ||
| Where'd you hear that? | ||
| The water cooler. | ||
| Where's the water cooler? | ||
| Who has a water cooler these days? | ||
| That's what it might be. | ||
| But dude, Nick Diaz... | ||
| Masvidal. | ||
| Now, does Nick Diaz definitely want to fight? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But in my brain, I'm thinking, who's out there who could be bigger than Kamaru Usman, Masvidal? | ||
| It's either Conor or Nick. | ||
| Well, Nick would work because Masvidal beat up his brother. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And redemption. | ||
| He asked for that fight. | ||
| But it's always tough with the negotiations with the Diazes. | ||
| Well, especially with Nick. | ||
| Because Nick hasn't fought since Anderson Silva. | ||
| It was a long time ago, man. | ||
| It'd be a tough go. | ||
| Dude, I'm pointing Masvidal-Conor. | ||
| When Masvidal was on Food Truck Diaries, Off camera, him and his manager were like, dude, it's Conor Masvidal. | ||
| That's our fight. | ||
| They told us they wanted to. | ||
| That's the fight. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That was months ago. | ||
| That was after he beat... | ||
| Who did he beat last? | ||
| Masvidal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He beat Diaz, right? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That was the last fight? | ||
| Yeah, I had him on literally like a week after that, and he was like, oh, Conor's the fight. | ||
| They're telling us he wants the fight, we want the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's a big fight. | ||
| Masvidal Conor? | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| The talking will be off the charts. | ||
| Do a press tour for that, man. | ||
| Yeah, you can't scare Masvidal either. | ||
| And Masvidal's a big fella. | ||
| I know he fought 55 before. | ||
| I mean, he fought 55 for a long time, but it wasn't his weight class. | ||
| I don't see Conor fight him at 70, though. | ||
| He's gonna fight him at 70, I guarantee you. | ||
| Masvidal's not gonna go to 55. Really? | ||
| Is that what they said? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's what they said? | ||
| That's what they were talking about. | ||
| Oh, they want to weaken Masvidal. | ||
| They want to pull a Floyd Canelo on him. | ||
| As much as I love Masvidal, Conor's still the top dog in town. | ||
| So you've got to meet him a little bit halfway. | ||
| He's the top dog in town, but I'm telling you, man, when you go to the UFC and you see the pop that Masvidal gets, there's this change in the public perception. | ||
| He's a star. | ||
| He's a huge star right now. | ||
| I mean, he might not be as big a star... | ||
| Over the world, as Conor is, he's not. | ||
| He's definitely not. | ||
| Conor's eclipsed the sport, but Masvidal is one of the biggest stars in the sport. | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| I think that fight would be bonkers. | ||
| Just straight up bonkers. | ||
| Conor said he wants to fight three times this year, but that's not happening, so they're going to give him some big fights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Damn. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Masvidal, Conor. | ||
| Talk to your boy. | ||
| See if it's happening. | ||
| So who's going to fight Usman? | ||
| GSP or Colby? | ||
| Colby? | ||
| How's Colby going to fight him? | ||
| He just beat Colby. | ||
| He just stopped Colby. | ||
| You can't sell that Colby rematch yet. | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| Colby's got to beat somebody good. | ||
| You know, he's got to beat Leon Edwards. | ||
| He's got to beat someone good. | ||
| Leon Edwards is like, boy, he got fucked. | ||
| He's going to fight Woodley. | ||
| He can't leave the country. | ||
| And as far as how good he is versus public perception in terms of the knowledge of him, people knowing how good he is, he's waiting for that one fight, that one big fight, and Woodley could have been that fight. | ||
| Woodley would have been that fight. | ||
| Like Darren Till got Cowboy, right? | ||
| That's how he got on the map. | ||
| Then he got Wonderboy. | ||
| That's all Leon Edwards needs, like a Woodley and then another, like a Colby or something like that. | ||
| Well, if he beat Colby, that would be it for him. | ||
| That would be a good fight. | ||
| That's a real good fight to make. | ||
| Colby versus Leon Edwards is a really great fight to make. | ||
| And both guys, like, if both guys win, they've got a real argument to fight for the title again. | ||
| If Colby wins, he's going to talk mad shit, and he's going to, you know, where you at, Marty? | ||
| And that kind of stuff. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Dude, what happens? | ||
| Leon Edwards will fight next on Fight Island against high-ranked opponents, says Dana White. | ||
| Fight Island. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Come on down. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Who's that high-ranked opponent? | ||
| Who would that be? | ||
| Who else is left? | ||
| Well, there's Wonderboy. | ||
| Wonderboy's still in the mix. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| Who else at 170 is in the mix? | ||
| So you got Gilbert, who's going to fight Woodley, which is a great fight. | ||
| So those two are accounted for. | ||
| Wonderboy, there's no fight for him right now. | ||
| Who else is in the mix at the top of the food chain? | ||
| Did Wonderboy not talk about going to 85? | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I thought he did. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Maybe that's just a fan question. | ||
| Maybe he said he would. | ||
| Okay, let's see what we got here at 170. Masvidal, Damian Maia, Michael Chiesa. | ||
| He's my dark person. | ||
| Well, Chiesa's very good. | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| It's so crazy to think that guy's fought 55 for so long. | ||
| He was a motherfucker, too. | ||
| He was at number 12, Neal. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| He's got 70s. | ||
| He's the dark horse of 170, Jeff Neal. | ||
| He's one of the most technical and talented guys in the division. | ||
| When he fought Mike Perry and knocked out Mike Perry with that left high kick, I was like, holy shit. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| Jeff Neal, he's one of those guys where you look at him like he's something special. | ||
| Dude, when you look at 55, 70, and 85, dude... | ||
| It is Murder's Row from top to fucking bottom. | ||
| Top to bottom. | ||
| Has Dos Anjos fought Leon? | ||
| He hasn't, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's a possibility. | ||
| He has a lot of possibilities. | ||
| Kiesa just beat Dos Anos. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Gilbert beat... | ||
| I mean, it really seems like Leon and Stephen Thompson is the way to go. | ||
| Wonder Boy and Leon seems like it has to happen, right? | ||
| Talk to your boy. | ||
| I mean, that's probably what they're going to do on Fight Island, if I had a guess. | ||
| That'd be a great fight. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| I like that a lot. | ||
| Now, where's Robbie Lawler in the mix? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Robbie's at 11. It's interesting, right? | |
| Because after Colby, Colby just kind of ran him over, didn't he? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Robbie versus Jeff Neal would be a crazy fight. | ||
| That's a great fight, too. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| That's a great coming out party for Jeff Neal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, what a fucking division. | |
| That's all they need is one big fight. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| How about your boy Barboza going down to 45? | ||
| How the fuck does he do that? | ||
| That guy's shredded. | ||
| He can't be good. | ||
| He can't be healthy. | ||
| He's shredded at 55. And if you think 45's easier than 55, we got another thing for you, brother. | ||
| Who is he fighting at 45? | ||
| He's fighting someone good. | ||
| Oh, did they announce who he's fighting? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Let me see the 45 pound rankings. | ||
| 55's nasty. | ||
| What do you got here at 45? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Pick your poison. | ||
| Who's he fighting? | ||
| Pick your fucking poison, dude. | ||
| I can't remember who the hell he's fighting. | ||
| Is it Shane Burgos? | ||
| I don't know who he's fighting. | ||
| That's not an easy fight. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's fighting someone very good at 45. See if we can find him. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Dude, 35 all the way up to 85 is so stacked. | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| It's so hard to become a champion now. | ||
| There's a real good argument for opening up these divisions and having one every 10 pounds now when you've got world championship caliber fighters. | ||
| So stacked. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Now, I've never been in favor of opening up divisions, but now it's so stacked to get to the top, it'd be so fucking hard. | ||
| Well, not just that. | ||
| It's like everybody is not going to get a chance. | ||
| Because you have so many guys in a division that are world class. | ||
| It's too tough. | ||
| The title can't be defended that many times in a year, and you only have so many years at your peak. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like... | ||
| Look, I've been saying it forever. | ||
| Every 10 pounds, just open it up. | ||
| I wonder why they're against it. | ||
| More belts? | ||
| You're doing all these intern bullshit belts. | ||
| Why not open up the weight classes? | ||
| Give more guys a chance to shine. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I want to have the most delicious beverage of all time. | ||
| Is it nice? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Grape. | ||
| Grape, Kill Cliff, CBD. Is there caffeine in it? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's boring. | ||
| 25 milligrams of CBD, though. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Just try that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Almost some CBD. Fucking goddamn delicious. | |
| Yeah, I mean, where does it go? | ||
| And, you know, in 85, what happens in 85 now? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, Darren Till just said that he wants to... | ||
| Pretty good, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| They said Darren Till wants to coach Ultimate Fighter opposite Israel Adesanya. | ||
| So he put that up on Twitter or Instagram, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| He says a lot of stuff on there. | ||
| Stylebender just writes, no. | ||
| Stylebender's too big of a star for that. | ||
| No, that's it. | ||
| Just no. | ||
| Why would Stylebender do that? | ||
| That's the way he wrote it. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not happening. | ||
| Just... | ||
| No explanation? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just no. | |
| But... | ||
| Oh, Dan Ige. | ||
| First of all, Dan Ige... | ||
| Has fantastic cardio. | ||
| He's got great submissions. | ||
| He's got great strikes. | ||
| He's fucking ferocious. | ||
| He's coming up. | ||
| He's improving every fight. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know the odds on that, but that ain't fun for Barboza. | ||
| 45? | ||
| Killing himself to make 45? | ||
| I mean, unless he knows something, we don't. | ||
| In terms of weight loss. | ||
| He would have went earlier if he knew something. | ||
| Angela Hill and Claudia Gedalia is a great fucking fight, too. | ||
| Two dimies. | ||
| Walt Harris. | ||
| Alistair Overeem. | ||
| Dude, what do you do with the winner of Francis Rosenstruck? | ||
| You give them the interim title. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Stipe can't fight right now. | ||
| He goes, I can't even get a hold of an octagon right now. | ||
| I can't even get a full training camp, so I'm not fighting. | ||
| He goes, no way I can even fight by August. | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| Well, I don't understand that necessarily, that argument, but I do know that he's got real problems with his eye. | ||
| Yeah, it's an eye issue. | ||
| It's a torn retina and, you know, it's supposed to be healing and he's doing his best to heal and I'd actually, you know, talked to him about it and he's been pretty vocal about that it's not healed yet. | ||
| So he definitely shouldn't fight? | ||
| Yeah, he was talking about seeing if there's some stem cell options, but the people that he talked to were essentially saying that the only thing that's available is intravenous stem cell for overall body healing, which you could do for sure, and it would probably accelerate some of the healing, but it's a real problem. | ||
| An eye, dude? | ||
| Talk to Bisping about it, man. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| He should talk to Bisping, because I wonder if Bisping would go through the... | ||
| I know Bisping said he wished he didn't take the Kelvin fight, I think. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Because he hurt his other eye. | ||
| Yeah, I think so, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he hurt his good eye in that fight. | ||
| If you're going to talk to anyone about eyes, it'd be Bisping, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But with Stipe, all right, so you're on the shelf. | ||
| You've got to give the intern belt to Francis and Rosenstruck. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I mean, there's no one else that stands out. | ||
| And then if you're DC, he wants the belt, the real belt, so he's not going to fight the winner of Francis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's not going to want to fight Francis. | |
| No, you don't want to. | ||
| Nobody wants to fight Francis. | ||
| Dude, have you seen Francis with his shirt off? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| He's training hard, man. | ||
| We're not all built the same. | ||
| He's training hard. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Look, man, that guy is like a character in a movie. | ||
| If you stop and think about his childhood, learning how to fight, and then growing up in a fucking, like working in a sand mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just digging in the sand. | |
| I mean, it's like a Conan movie. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's so powerful, man. | ||
| And he's so big. | ||
| You're talking about a guy who's cutting weight to make 265. And all natural. | ||
| Just genetics. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Off the charts, genetics. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Power. | ||
| Insane power. | ||
| But I'll tell you, man, Rosenstreich is no walk in the park. | ||
| He's a real elite striker, man. | ||
| He's a big fuck too. | ||
| He's more decorated as far as pure striking. | ||
| And he's big, man. | ||
| He's fucking big. | ||
| He ain't built like that though. | ||
| Nope, not built like that. | ||
| He's got some body fat on him, but he's a solid 265. Rosenstreich is huge, bro. | ||
| Have you met him? | ||
| I haven't. | ||
| He's enormous. | ||
| Rosenstreich is fucking huge. | ||
| He's got a tits on him. | ||
| He doesn't have the same amount of low body fat or lean musculature, but he has great stamina. | ||
| I mean, he knocked out Overeem in the fifth round with a few seconds to go. | ||
| He was losing that fight, too. | ||
| But Overeem is a legit elite striker. | ||
| Now, the difference between the way Overeem fought him and the way Overeem fought Francis, Overeem got stuck in these exchanges with Francis, and Francis hit him with that left hook, which is just... | ||
| It's the uppercut, right? | ||
| It was like a shovel. | ||
| It's one of the worst knockouts in the history of sport. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| The head? | ||
| The fucking head? | ||
| The back of his head slapped him in the ass. | ||
| It really did. | ||
| Ain't that a bitch? | ||
| I've never seen anybody's head snap like that. | ||
| Francis hit you as hard as he can. | ||
| Just this African uppercut. | ||
| This superhero fucking Iron Man Jack City. | ||
| Left hook. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Rosenstreich can take it too. | ||
| Like he was walking through Alistair's shots. | ||
| I bet you doesn't walk through Francis's. | ||
| No one walks through Francis's. | ||
| Stipe did a little bit. | ||
| He got hit by him. | ||
| Paid the price though. | ||
| I think that part of what happened in the second fight, or the first fight rather, with DC was the damage that Stipe had incurred in the fight with Francis. | ||
| That's fair because he took some big shots, man. | ||
| Big shots. | ||
| And you only get so many of those. | ||
| And when he got hit and knocked out like that, it wasn't the biggest shot he got hit with. | ||
| I don't think he saw it coming, but the way he went out from that shot, it's almost like... | ||
| It's lights out. | ||
| You gotta wonder how much of that was residual damage from battling the scariest fucking striker in the sport. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just super high on Francis now. | ||
| I think, you know, he got humbled a little bit in that Stipe fight. | ||
| He was like, dude, it was just too fast. | ||
| I wasn't ready. | ||
| I was too arrogant. | ||
| Went back to the drawing board. | ||
| You look at him now, you're like, holy shit, who's going to beat this guy? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's champ by 2021. Well, I'm telling you, he's still got to get past Rosenstreich. | ||
| Which I think he does. | ||
| Who knows, though? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| He might not. | ||
| Rosenstreich is a really talented striker. | ||
| Super talented. | ||
| It's got to be fucking crazy. | ||
| It's got to be crazy. | ||
| I can't wait for that fight. | ||
| Jeremy Stevens vs. | ||
| Calvin Cater is a crazy fight, too. | ||
| You never can count out Jeremy Stevens. | ||
| There's a lot of live dogs on this. | ||
| If you like the bet, you can put together a parlay, and you risk like 100, and you can win 15,000. | ||
| It's like some crazy parlay, but you look at it like, I can see that shit happening, man. | ||
| And also, who knows what kind of fight camps these guys are getting, right? | ||
| Training partners would be the biggest thing. | ||
| The only one I'm not worried about is Tony Ferguson. | ||
| He's a lone wuff. | ||
| How are gyms dealing with this? | ||
| What happens to a guy like Dominick Cruz? | ||
| Is he allowed to go to the gym and train? | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| If you're one of those big names, I guarantee those guys are getting keys to the gym and going in and doing their thing. | ||
| But even if you get a key to the gym, are you allowed to do that? | ||
| Who's going to stop it? | ||
| But this is one of the things that's been weird. | ||
| They're giving people tickets for shit. | ||
| Dude, I got a ticket for riding my bike. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I didn't tell you this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Yeah, I got a ticket. | ||
| Did we talk about this yesterday? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I brought it up. | ||
| I wasn't sure if it was... | ||
| What did Elon say? | ||
| Can you get me out of it? | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Elon's like, I'll take care of this, Shob. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I'm riding my bike like I do every day, avoiding rattlesnakes, and I get on the descent. | ||
| I'm in the middle of nowhere, dude. | ||
| Nowhere. | ||
| I ride from Woodland Hills to Malibu. | ||
| I'm in the middle of nowhere in between there, and then I see two Ranger trucks intercept me, and they get out and they have masks on, and I start laughing. | ||
| I go, no way. | ||
| I go, you think we're going to get COVID out here? | ||
| Fellas, do you think we can take the mask off? | ||
| Get the mask off. | ||
| Nobody's getting COVID out here. | ||
| And they take their mask off. | ||
| I'm like, I can't believe they listen. | ||
| They take the mask off and I go, are you giving me a ticket? | ||
| And he goes, listen, here's the problem, dude, is the parks are closed. | ||
| I go, they're closed? | ||
| Since when? | ||
| He goes, how long have we been in quarantine? | ||
| I go, I don't know. | ||
| How long have we been? | ||
| He goes, I think like over 50 days. | ||
| I've been out here every single day for the past 50 days. | ||
| He goes, what? | ||
| Really? | ||
| 50 tickets? | ||
| Yeah, he goes, really? | ||
| I go, every day, dude. | ||
| And he's like, well, you know, he just got lucky. | ||
| And he goes, here's the problem is, if a thousand people had your same mindset and came out here, then we'd have a problem. | ||
| And I go, does anybody ride a bike here? | ||
| And the big guy's like, I ride a bike. | ||
| He goes, I'm actually part of the Thick Boy Bike Club. | ||
| Did he say that? | ||
| So he knows you. | ||
| He knows. | ||
| I go, dude, have you ridden out here? | ||
| And he goes, I usually don't go this far. | ||
| And I'm like, well... | ||
| You got to be in pretty good fucking shape to get all the way out here, man, and back. | ||
| You think those people are worried about getting COVID or spreading it? | ||
| We're going to be fine, man. | ||
| And he goes, you're probably right. | ||
| He goes, it's not my doing. | ||
| So you're giving me a ticket? | ||
| He goes, no, I'm not giving you a ticket. | ||
| I go, oh, fuck, yeah, dude. | ||
| He goes, but he is. | ||
| And this other guy gets out and gives me a ticket. | ||
| How much? | ||
| He says it's the lowest finding you get. | ||
| It's like $40 or $60. | ||
| And I go, it's like $60. | ||
| I go, $60? | ||
| I go, see tomorrow! | ||
| And they started laughing. | ||
| I was there the next day. | ||
| I was there today. | ||
| Don't say this. | ||
| They're going to come. | ||
| Now they're going to make an example out of you. | ||
| I don't give up. | ||
| When are those parks open? | ||
| They're not open yet? | ||
| Friday. | ||
| No, yeah, but you're supposed to wear a mask while you're... | ||
| While you're riding a bike? | ||
| That makes no sense. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so stupid. | ||
| Dude, I saw a guy on his bike today out there with me on the trails. | ||
| He had the mask on. | ||
| I'm like, get the mask off, dude. | ||
| Get the fucking mask off, man. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| How are you going to get it out here? | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Everybody's so paranoid. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's a sheet mentality, man. | ||
| We're not in the ICU. Okay? | ||
| We're not in the hospital. | ||
| We're not in a nursing home. | ||
| Or dude, this is my favorite. | ||
| When we're on these trails, right? | ||
| And you're pretty far apart. | ||
| And they see me and they put their mask on. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| I go by, can't be my friend! | ||
| Whitney told me she crashed and got really fucked up and no one came to help her. | ||
| Went over the front of the handlebars. | ||
| Almost broke her neck. | ||
| Nobody wanted to help her and everyone's wearing a mask. | ||
| Everyone kept going. | ||
| People yelled at her for not wearing a mask too. | ||
| It's fucking dark out there, man. | ||
| Bunch of bitches. | ||
| Especially out there. | ||
| You know the sun. | ||
| Yeah, those guys, I don't think they care. | ||
| I was even talking shit about Governor Newsom to them. | ||
| They were like, dude, we don't agree with it. | ||
| It's something we have to do. | ||
| Yeah, they're just doing their job. | ||
| Sucks. | ||
| That's why I told them, I get it, man. | ||
| What would it be like if a thousand people did it? | ||
| First of all, a thousand people aren't going to fucking do it. | ||
| A thousand people ain't coming out there, man. | ||
| No, it's hard. | ||
| That's why I told him. | ||
| I go, you ride bikes, dude. | ||
| You're part of the club. | ||
| You know how hard it is to get out here, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I go, if they're getting out here, then fucking shape. | ||
| Even if we all got COVID, we're all going to be fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And he was like, I get it, man. | ||
| The problem is once the narrative gets established, you know? | ||
| Once the narrative gets established. | ||
| It's crazy to me the news isn't held accountable for anything. | ||
| Like the slander they're putting out. | ||
| You're like, why aren't you showing anything positive? | ||
| That's why I tweet out positive stats. | ||
| I'm like, why don't you guys show anything positive? | ||
| You're scaring the fuck out of people, man. | ||
| They want to. | ||
| That's how they make money. | ||
| They make money off of advertising. | ||
| They make advertising off of views. | ||
| They make views off of scaring people. | ||
| And then China said they're starting to get over COVID. Release the fucking warrior hornets where the fuck they are. | ||
| To murder hornets. | ||
| To murder hornets. | ||
| That's what I thought this was when I walked in, dude. | ||
| They're about that size, though. | ||
| That's a tarantula hawk. | ||
| I think those Asian hornets are actually bigger than that. | ||
| It makes me feel sick. | ||
| Well, if they're in Washington, I bet their fucking thick asses are going to head to California. | ||
| Everybody loves California. | ||
| How many of them did they find? | ||
| I don't know, a shit ton, right? | ||
| I was like, how bad can they be? | ||
| And I look on the video, they're intercepting bees and ripping their fucking heads off, dude. | ||
| Cut their heads off. | ||
| They snip their heads in half with their mandibles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they kill thousands of bees. | ||
| Look at the size of these fucks. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And they show up at these colonies. | ||
| These bee colonies, they show up at the hives and just burn through the hives. | ||
| They start chopping heads off. | ||
| There's a horrendous video of these Asian hornets that show up at this beehive and just start chopping them in half. | ||
| Have you seen that video where that Coyote Peterson guy lets one sting him? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| My favorite's the camera guy. | ||
| He's like, oh god, oh god. | ||
| Alright, now tell us what you're feeling, man. | ||
| That's why we do it. | ||
| You gotta tell people what you're feeling. | ||
| He's like, fuck! | ||
| Alright! | ||
| You can tell he's super annoyed. | ||
| It was the worst pain. | ||
| It seemed pretty bad. | ||
| Well, and then 20 minutes later, his arm had swole up like someone had shoved a shoe under his skin. | ||
| It was like all popped up and puffy. | ||
| He couldn't touch anywhere near it. | ||
| He was in agony. | ||
| Dude, have you seen Kings? | ||
| Is it Kings of Pain, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's Kings. | |
| I could not remember the name. | ||
| I think it's on the History Channel. | ||
| I think it's on History Channel, but it's these two dudes, one Australian dude, one regular American dude who's a Marine. | ||
| And they're like, the pain scale hasn't been done since like the 1970s. | ||
| So we're going to go around. | ||
| We give it a 1 through 30. We rank them on these, you know, criterias. | ||
| So they go around all over the world. | ||
| These fucking dudes, man. | ||
| They collect these wasps. | ||
| They collect, you know, the tarantula hawk. | ||
| And then the finale, I'm like, well, what are they going to do here? | ||
| They catch a giant... | ||
| Bow constrictor in the forest, and then they put masks on so it can't bite their neck and kill them, and then they give the thing their arm? | ||
| Dude, this fucking python destroys their arm. | ||
| Was it a python or a boa constrictor? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| A reticulated python, it says. | ||
| Yeah, pythons have horrendous fangs. | ||
| Kings of pain. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Why is it biting the guy's arm? | ||
| Well, they want to see how painful it is. | ||
| No one's ever done a pain scale on a python. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's a big fuck. | ||
| It was a Komodo dragon or something and it didn't get off like 10 minutes. | ||
| Yeah, the Komodo dragon. | ||
| They couldn't get it off him for 10 minutes? | ||
| It snapped and it would just... | ||
| They had like soap. | ||
| They're like, let's spray the soap in its mouth. | ||
| The lizard was like, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| But Komodo dragons have poison in their mouth. | ||
| It might have been a monotu. | ||
| Their crazy lizard bites last 10 minutes. | ||
| Is it a Komodo dragon? | ||
| A monotu lizard. | ||
| Monotu lizard. | ||
| Well, they're in the same family. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| They can't get it off, dude. | ||
| They can't get it off. | ||
| Well, I know how to get it off. | ||
| You put a bullet in that fucking thing's brain. | ||
| I'd be like, fuck this game. | ||
| Oh my god, I won't let them go. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| So the one guy does it, and then they switch. | ||
| They both have to do it. | ||
| I would definitely want to go first. | ||
| Well, why don't they put a wedge in its mouth like you do with a pit bull? | ||
| Look at him punching the board. | ||
| This is so silly. | ||
| No one knows what to do. | ||
| Its claws are getting into them, too. | ||
| Oh, this is so silly. | ||
| My thing is, I want to see how much they got paid to do this. | ||
| I don't think much. | ||
| They paid to do it. | ||
| I was hoping they got paid well. | ||
| Look at the claws, man. | ||
| Look how it's using its claws. | ||
| Yeah, it's gnarly. | ||
| I'm pretty sure the one guy's like a Marine. | ||
| The other guy's just like, you know, the crocodile hunter. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| This is such a white guy thing to do. | ||
| This is like what Lil Duval calls white boy in. | ||
| He has Lil Duval on his Instagram. | ||
| Hey, and this white boy can't get enough of it, dude. | ||
| I've been watched all ten episodes in like an hour. | ||
| I couldn't get enough of it. | ||
| One day, just through all of it. | ||
| Why do you like it, though? | ||
| Because it's insane, man! | ||
| I have no desire to watch that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And see which animal hurts the most? | ||
| Really? | ||
| It all sucks. | ||
| Don't get bit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was telling you this off here, that the guy DM'd me, because I keep giving the show praise, and he's like, dude, for season number two, we're thinking of having celebrities on, man. | ||
| We'd love to have you on. | ||
| I was like, oh, well, maybe. | ||
| I don't know if I want that. | ||
| I'm going to let a crow bite me. | ||
| Yeah, I was like... | ||
| See how bad those pigeons hurt, bro. | ||
| What's the scale of a parakeet? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably not for me. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Dude, I have this weird... | ||
| Because I see... | ||
| I think Cam Haynes posted a video of him grabbing... | ||
| I don't think it was a rattlesnake, but he came across a snake and he's like, you gotta save these things. | ||
| So everyone's like, Shob, you gotta start doing this, man, when you run the snakes. | ||
| And even before I saw Cam do that, I've had this weird urge to grab the snakes. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Might be CT, but I have this weird urge... | ||
| To just grab the snake and like, I don't know, fuck with it, like hold it. | ||
| Do you bring anything with you, like a stick or anything? | ||
| I have nothing, Joe. | ||
| That's why I text you. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I need that knife. | ||
| Because the problem is, if I take my specialized stump jumper, it makes noise. | ||
| It makes noise. | ||
| If I take this e-bike, this YT industry e-bike, it's silent. | ||
| So the animals don't hear me coming. | ||
| So today I stumped on three coyotes, pretty big. | ||
| Pretty big coyotes. | ||
| Were they looking at you funny? | ||
| Yeah, and I was yelling. | ||
| That's all I knew what to do. | ||
| I had my earphones and I was yelling. | ||
| They don't even give a fuck. | ||
| Oh, they didn't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| They're so not scared of people. | ||
| Oh, you know what? | ||
| They literally just was like, look at this. | ||
| What's this fucking moron doing out here? | ||
| They're like, I wish you were smaller so I could eat you. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Can't eat you yet, but if you fall down. | ||
| You fall down, it's on, dog. | ||
| I might break a leg. | ||
| But I was thinking, that's why I texted you when I got done today. | ||
| I'm like, I don't have anything, dude. | ||
| I don't have a knife. | ||
| I don't have anything. | ||
| It'd be a problem. | ||
| With a rattlesnake, I don't know what the fuck you need. | ||
| It's just, you know, it is what it is. | ||
| Well, with a rattlesnake, most of the time, you just got to get out of the way of them. | ||
| They're not interested in you. | ||
| And a coyote's not interested in you either. | ||
| But a mountain lion might be. | ||
| See, and where I went today, there's pictures of mountain lions. | ||
| Pictures? | ||
| Like warnings. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That'll give you the heebie-jeebies. | ||
| Saw a bobcat. | ||
| I see a bobcat probably once every ten rides. | ||
| They're weird looking, aren't they? | ||
| Their feet are fucking fat. | ||
| It's like they're wearing Uggs. | ||
| They got Uggs on. | ||
| And they just hang on the tree and stare at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're weird. | |
| Remember when I told you I'd fuck a bobcat up? | ||
| I regret that. | ||
| Because when I saw it, I'm like, well, here's your chance. | ||
| They're pretty big. | ||
| Yeah, they're pretty big. | ||
| They're pretty big and ferocious. | ||
| It would be a problem for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And plus, who knows what kind of fucked up diseases they have inside their mouth. | ||
| But even a house cat, like, I mean, you get fucked with a house, even those cats fuck you up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A house cat that wants to kill you, that's a real problem. | ||
| A bobcat? | ||
| Think of a rat. | ||
| Like a rat wanted to kill you. | ||
| Like a five pound rat. | ||
| Like a big ass New York City rat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Problems. | |
| That'd be terrifying. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| A bobcat is literally like 20 times bigger than that. | ||
| Problems. | ||
| I talk all this shit about nature until I run into it. | ||
| When I saw a bobcat, I was like, dude, talking all that shit. | ||
| What does a bobcat weigh? | ||
| It's not even 10 times bigger than a 5 pound rat, but rats don't really get to be 5 pounds. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure. | ||
| Some of those New York rats that eat good. | ||
| 5 pounds is pretty big. | ||
| 15, 20 pounds or so. | ||
| That's what it says for a bobcat? | ||
| It says 19 pounds, so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I had a bobcat in my backyard. | ||
| Problem. | ||
| Yeah, they're gross. | ||
| Those little fucks. | ||
| But coyotes don't fuck with people, right? | ||
| They will. | ||
| Coyotes killed a girl in Canada a few years back, a 19-year-old lady. | ||
| She was a promising folk singer, and she was wandering around the woods, and the coyotes found her by herself, and they ate her. | ||
| Circled around her? | ||
| Yeah, they killed her. | ||
| That's a terrible way to die, too, a really bad way to die. | ||
| God, that'd be a bummer. | ||
| I don't think coyotes are going to fuck me. | ||
| Like, he's too big. | ||
| I'll use the bike as a weapon. | ||
| I would hope so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would hope so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| You nervous at all about going to the UFC this weekend? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm nervous about how weird people are going to be. | ||
| People are going to be acting real strange. | ||
| I hate people. | ||
| COVID's made me hate people. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not worried about the actual disease. | ||
| I'm worried about people. | ||
| People, yeah. | ||
| I'm worried about people freaking out. | ||
| Like, where I get my coffee at 10 speed, this guy, I'm not even trying to be funny, probably 400 pounds, 6 foot, just so out of shape. | ||
| He works security there. | ||
| He's like, you ain't come in without a mask. | ||
| I'm like, there's no line, there's no one in there. | ||
| I'm like, homeboy. | ||
| That mask ain't gonna be the thing that gets you, dude. | ||
| It's your fucking cholesterol. | ||
| Leave me alone, man. | ||
| Trust me, I'm probably gonna outlive you, my man. | ||
| Can't come here without a mask. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck, man? | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| I think you're gonna be fine in Florida. | ||
| Well, Jacksonville is a weird place. | ||
| I've never been to Jacksonville. | ||
| I've been to Jacksonville. | ||
| What's it like? | ||
| It's not that crowded. | ||
| It's not like a big, you know. | ||
| It's more country, right? | ||
| It's pretty country, pretty laid back. | ||
| Tim Tebow is from there. | ||
| I used to do this golf tournament there every year. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It's nice down there. | ||
| It's super laid back. | ||
| I don't want to do comedy out there. | ||
| Well, they're the first people that say, fuck it, let's do it. | ||
| All of Florida did, though, right? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think Florida's basically opened up for everything. | ||
| Missouri's opened up for concerts. | ||
| Most of it, I think, they didn't open up where Miami and Palm Beach are. | ||
| There's three counties down there. | ||
| They will, though. | ||
| Dude, I'm getting so many offers for clubs. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In June. | ||
| So clubs are about to open up again. | ||
| Huntsville, Wise Guys, Salt Lake, Nashville, Spokane. | ||
| All these clubs are starting to come about. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what's going to happen. | ||
| When's the store open? | ||
| Consider it a... | ||
| Me and Jamie were talking about this. | ||
| Probably consider it a restaurant, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because there's one guy on stage. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's a live show. | ||
| It's a theater. | ||
| No, that's not a theater. | ||
| Or some kind of a live show. | ||
| It'd be more... | ||
| Wouldn't it be labeled a restaurant more than anything? | ||
| Well, there's fucking hundreds of people. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| They've got a kitchen. | ||
| They serve food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Drinks. | ||
| That's their main... | ||
| Because, you know... | ||
| Servers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just sitting people at tables and you have one guy, you know... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because restaurants should open up in phase three? | ||
| Probably at a certain capacity, but yeah, they're opening up way before some other stuff. | ||
| Oh, that's the thing. | ||
| These clubs I've been talking about, they're all not at full capacity. | ||
| It's all less. | ||
| So that's what's going to happen at these clubs? | ||
| So you get a reduced rate? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So 50% less people? | ||
| I know Wise Guys opened up. | ||
| They had an open mic night, and I think it was 150 people. | ||
| They already opened? | ||
| I'm pretty sure they did their open mic. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Utah, I know. | ||
| I looked at some of the restaurants in Utah. | ||
| Park City, still not open, but Salt Lake City has some restaurants are open, but most of them are open just for takeout. | ||
| Actually, Wiseguys has what they're doing. | ||
| He says they are open. | ||
| 65% capacity. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| Hey, that's better than nothing. | ||
| Customers will be asked to keep a minimum of six feet between groups. | ||
| And while waiting in line, all customers will be seated. | ||
| By the way, we're all touching the same shit, breathing the same air. | ||
| It's all crazy. | ||
| Dude, I'll do the meet and grin spoke and lick everybody's face. | ||
| Hand sanitizer stations are located at club entrances and at the front desk. | ||
| All high-touch surfaces, including but not limited to tables, chairs, menus, doorknobs, faucets, bathrooms, and more have been sanitized and will continue to be disinfected after every show. | ||
| Oh, I love this. | ||
| Customers are not required to wear a mask. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| I don't want to do a show with everybody wearing a mask. | ||
| Yeah, fuck that. | ||
| Be awful. | ||
| Dude, I'll start doing shows other places. | ||
| I'll go to fucking Utah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| We should go down there. | ||
| I'm happy to go down there. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. | ||
| I have so many gigs that are booked. | ||
| Chappelle and I, we're supposed to be doing arenas in September. | ||
| I don't know if that's going to happen. | ||
| Here we are in May. | ||
| It's going to be close. | ||
| The problem is the ticket sales. | ||
| It's already sold out. | ||
| So it's not a problem. | ||
| You're going to be close. | ||
| I think you're going to be close. | ||
| Because you see the NFL, I think, released scheduled... | ||
| Is it tonight, Jamie? | ||
| You know what they changed? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, NFL went, suck this dick. | ||
| Full arenas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They haven't said anything about attendance, but as far as scheduling goes, everything's... | ||
| Now, what the fuck are they going to do here in LA? Because our governor... | ||
| Governor sucks. | ||
| He's not... | ||
| He's safety first. | ||
| Yeah, but you're getting where people aren't putting up with and he has to change, right? | ||
| People are freaking out about him. | ||
| It's not good for him politically. | ||
| They protest at his house. | ||
| Oh, he's fucked. | ||
| He won't win again. | ||
| They protest at his house? | ||
| Yeah, they showed up at his house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's like the beach thing. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I'm telling these people I ain't gonna put up with these beaches. | ||
| There's a big thing that's happening. | ||
| When is it? | ||
| The 9th? | ||
| When is the 9th? | ||
| What's today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Saturday. | |
| Saturday there's a big, big sort of demonstration that's planned, right? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's always weird. | ||
| I mean, we are opening up. | ||
| Like, I had an argument with my dad about COVID, and he's like, I don't know why you're crying. | ||
| We're opening back up. | ||
| I was like, I know, but not quick enough, dude. | ||
| Not quick enough. | ||
| Not quick enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What they should do is quarantine the people that are at high risk at this point. | ||
| You don't have to quarantine the whole country anymore. | ||
| But when Newsom goes so far left and he's like, here we are, man, he can't dial it back. | ||
| He has to be forced to dial it back because otherwise he looks like an asshole. | ||
| So now you're talking about ego. | ||
| Dude, give it up. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard to change paths once you've already committed to a certain path. | ||
| It's a bummer. | ||
| It's just a bummer. | ||
| We're almost through it. | ||
| Listen, the one positive of this quarantine is we've all kind of got to relax. | ||
| When you have stand-up, you have shows, you have all this thing going on, we're moving on a million times an hour. | ||
| I've got so much time with my kids, started a bike club. | ||
| I like rattlesnakes now. | ||
| I've lost weight. | ||
| I've really enjoyed not going on the road. | ||
| I've enjoyed that a lot. | ||
| I've just enjoyed going, and they forced me to shut everything down. | ||
| Yeah, I've really enjoyed the not flying. | ||
| I've enjoyed that a lot. | ||
| Flying can fuck you up, man. | ||
| It's not good for your body, man. | ||
| You know, I had Jessie Mae in here last week, and she was saying the same thing. | ||
| She was like, I can't believe how good I feel. | ||
| Yes, I feel great. | ||
| Best I've ever felt. | ||
| We're killing ourselves! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I missed the fuck out of it. | ||
| I missed the road, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I miss the shows. | ||
| I miss the store. | ||
| I miss performing. | ||
| I definitely miss writing new material. | ||
| I haven't written a goddamn thing. | ||
| I haven't written any stand-up. | ||
| It's tough, dude. | ||
| It's tough to feel creative during this lockdown, man. | ||
| There's other shit going on. | ||
| You can write. | ||
| I could have written. | ||
| I just decided not to. | ||
| I decided I'm just going to do podcasts and work out a lot. | ||
| How many years have you wrote? | ||
| Non-stop. | ||
| You ever thought maybe this forced break is good for everybody, man? | ||
| It's good for me. | ||
| You can make it good for you. | ||
| You can decide it's bad or decide it's good. | ||
| But the other thing that I decided is I want to see how I feel about this organically. | ||
| Instead of trying to make comedy out of it right away, I just want to see what my real feelings are about this. | ||
| Let it seep in. | ||
| Once I've got a handle on how I feel about it, what my take is, then do some writing. | ||
| What's done for me is I feel great, I feel better, started a bike club, lost weight, but the other thing is I've paid more attention to politics because it's never really affected me. | ||
| These guys are fucking all con artists. | ||
| But then when they lock down your lifestyle, it's like, all right, what are we doing here, man? | ||
| Then you're starting to look into things like, holy shit, dude. | ||
| We went over the list with Hinchcliffe yesterday. | ||
| We went over the list of all things the governor has approved for outdoor activities, and it's so condescending. | ||
| It's so ridiculous and so fucking stupid. | ||
| This is a long list of things you can and can't do. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It also shows you how little power governors have, too. | ||
| Yeah, well, also it shows you how they like that power. | ||
| They like it. | ||
| Oh, you don't run for governor because you don't. | ||
| I'm going to tell you what to do. | ||
| They're not saying, hey, keep six feet apart from each other and use social distancing guidelines and be safe. | ||
| They're not saying that. | ||
| They're saying, here's the things you can do. | ||
| You can enjoy the sunrise and the sunset. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| You can enjoy yoga. | ||
| You can enjoy bike riding. | ||
| You can enjoy golf, but no carts. | ||
| It says no carts. | ||
| Well, it's like people got upset because they posted that the city of Venice filled the skate park with sand because they wanted kids to stop skating. | ||
| And I put, this is lame as fuck. | ||
| And I had all these comments. | ||
| They're like, no, it's not. | ||
| I'm like, have you ever looked at the mortality rate of young kids? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's zero. | ||
| And you're taking away their happiness? | ||
| What about mental health? | ||
| Has anybody thought about mental health and going outside and what that does for those kids? | ||
| What about that? | ||
| Well, they're worried that the kids are going to get it and they're going to give it to the grandma or dad or someone's going to get sick. | ||
| But you can't mandate good behavior. | ||
| You can't tell people that you need to be smart in terms of infectious diseases. | ||
| It doesn't work that way. | ||
| Give me a guideline. | ||
| Say this is what's probably best and then let the people of America decide. | ||
| Yeah, once they've figured it out. | ||
| People know what to do and what not to do. | ||
| You're going to allow people to make all these bad choices no matter what. | ||
| You're going to allow people to drink. | ||
| You're allowing people to smoke. | ||
| You're allowing people to take prescription medication. | ||
| They're killing themselves left and right doing all kinds of other different things. | ||
| How many people die every year in America? | ||
| You ever look that up? | ||
| It's nuts, man. | ||
| But we don't pay attention to that. | ||
| We just go, nah, that's just normal. | ||
| Well, we're willing to put up with that? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, the thing is about most of the decisions, like for cigarette smoke and car accidents, stuff like that, like you decide, right? | ||
| You decide to drink, you decide to smoke, you decide to drive your car, and this is, it's not contagious. | ||
| This is contagious. | ||
| The worry is that you're giving it to people that it's not their choice to get it, you know? | ||
| Old people in particular. | ||
| Stay away from old people, man. | ||
| But it's the same thing with the flu, right? | ||
| Any of it. | ||
| All of it, yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The real problem is if they start doing this for the flu. | ||
| This is a bad flu season, so we're going to institute social distancing. | ||
| I'll fucking move. | ||
| I will. | ||
| I'll be like, Utah, here I come. | ||
| Yeah, I'm at that point. | ||
| If it got worse, if we were going to start opening up, I was at that point. | ||
| I was talking to the fam about maybe doing something. | ||
| Where would you go? | ||
| Colorado's a good choice. | ||
| I'm from there, so I'd like something new. | ||
| I'd probably go to Texas. | ||
| Texas is a very good choice. | ||
| Texas, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're free. | ||
| I talked to Adam Curry. | ||
| He's already eating dinner in restaurants. | ||
| Yeah, Theo said he went to St. George, Utah this past weekend. | ||
| He's like, man, I went to a restaurant. | ||
| He's like, that place was a shithole, but best restaurant I ever ate at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man, what is that going to be like, eating in a restaurant again? | ||
| But meanwhile, your server's going to be wearing a mask. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| You know, what the fuck? | ||
| Are you smiling at that? | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| Can't even tell if they're smiling. | ||
| Hopefully not. | ||
| Hopefully people read the actual statistics and everyone kind of learns from this. | ||
| The problem is they're already committed to this doom scenario. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Millions of people are going to die. | ||
| Well, millions of people are going to die, period. | ||
| Are millions of people going to die from this disease? | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Elon Musk says it's not true. | ||
| Listen to Elon. | ||
| I know eight people who've gotten it. | ||
| The worst was Michael Yeo. | ||
| But he came in sick, I thought. | ||
| Came in sick. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He had underlying health conditions. | ||
| And came in sick and was flying. | ||
| And he's half Asian. | ||
| I don't think that... | ||
| No, he's Asian. | ||
| But I don't think that matters. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Just playing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just playing. | |
| What the? | ||
| He's coming here on Monday. | ||
| Is he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| To talk about it? | ||
| I'm going to put him in a plastic bubble and sit him in the corner. | ||
| You can get him tested before he comes in? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Three times. | ||
| Hell yeah, at least. | ||
| Make him wear a mask. | ||
| Oh yeah, he's got to wear a mask. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Gloves too. | ||
| Oven mitts. | ||
| He's fine though. | ||
| Look at him thriving. | ||
| He actually got tested three days ago. | ||
| He said he's fine. | ||
| Sturgill Simpson, he caught it. | ||
| He was fine. | ||
| He just said fatigue. | ||
| Felt a little fatigued. | ||
| The entire Utah Jazz team got it? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Asymptomatic. | ||
| They were pissed. | ||
| Of course, they're fucking super athletes. | ||
| You think that shit has a chance in the body of a super athlete? | ||
| Do you think that shit has a chance of every UFC fighter on the card this weekend? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, I want to know how many jiu-jitsu guys are getting it. | ||
| You want to talk about people that are constantly being exposed to other people's funk? | ||
| Non-stop. | ||
| Yeah, non-stop. | ||
| You're rolling with five, six people a day. | ||
| Everybody's in a room together, sweating like crazy. | ||
| You're literally rolling in puddles of other people's sweat. | ||
| The immune systems that you must have from doing jiu-jitsu must be off the charts. | ||
| What phase is gyms? | ||
| Is that phase three? | ||
| These phases are lame as fuck. | ||
| Is it phase three? | ||
| Yes, phase three. | ||
| So that's when they can open up. | ||
| Yeah, but even when they can open up, can a jujitsu gym open up? | ||
| A regular gym, they're going to spray down the surfaces. | ||
| I mean, I think they're talking about spin glasses and shit. | ||
| I don't know if they're talking about jujitsu. | ||
| I don't think they're detailed enough. | ||
| I bet you jujitsu gyms open up. | ||
| God, I hope so. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| They will. | ||
| Oh, so weird. | ||
| And then the requirements for all the fighters this weekend. | ||
| Did you read the whole list? | ||
| Like, these poor guys. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| The requirements are nuts. | ||
| And the winner goes to another tunnel where the interview is secluded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder what kind of restaurants are going to be open in Jacksonville. | ||
| Room service. | ||
| Yeah, I don't even know if Jacksonville's restaurants are open yet. | ||
| Like, where are we going to be able to eat? | ||
| I'm in and out, man. | ||
| I'm getting there Saturday morning and I leave Sunday morning. | ||
| There's no weigh-ins. | ||
| No weigh-ins. | ||
| No public weigh-ins. | ||
| I mean, the whole deal is just, weigh-ins are supposed to be public anyway. | ||
| The only time I'm there is to do it on ESPN, and I'm there for the presentation, and I announce the fighter's weights, and interview the people in the main event, co-main event. | ||
| How cool would it be if Florida was like, hey, we're going to open it up. | ||
| If you want to go, you're at risk. | ||
| Sign this document. | ||
| Oh, it'd be great. | ||
| Sold out, I bet. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Dude, it would be sold out. | ||
| I want people to buy this pay-per-view, man. | ||
| Oh, they're gonna buy it. | ||
| It's gonna be huge. | ||
| I hope. | ||
| It's gonna be giant. | ||
| I hope. | ||
| It's gonna be giant. | ||
| I guarantee you people are so looking for something to do. | ||
| Even with the economy down like this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| 30 million people out of jobs? | ||
| There's so many people... | ||
| Look, there's so many people that are out of jobs, that's a fact, but people have some money and they need some fucking form of entertainment. | ||
| They need something. | ||
| UFC is going to get people together too because people watch UFC with their crew. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like, okay, dude, are you really that scared of COVID? I get the fight. | ||
| All right, coming over. | ||
| I'm going to order pizza and then everybody's going to get together. | ||
| Can you imagine watching fucking the fights with your boy and he's wearing a mask? | ||
| Dude, my producer, Chen, I go, are you watching the fights? | ||
| He goes, yeah, me and my buddies are going to Zoom it. | ||
| We're all going to watch it and get Zoom on it. | ||
| Don't talk to me for the rest of the day. | ||
| Oh god, they're gonna zoom together? | ||
| Goddammit, Sean. | ||
| I hope they get zoom bombed by some fucking asshole. | ||
| Yeah, I hope someone fucking gives you a virus through the zoom, dude. | ||
| You deserve it. | ||
| Those zoom bombers, people that are having zoom meetings, they find it and they just, fuck you, fuck you, suck my cat. | ||
| It's like a serious meeting. | ||
| People need to grow up, man. | ||
| Pull their pants down, put their asshole in front of the webcam. | ||
| Bored as fuck. | ||
| It's going to be real weird over the next six months when you see the economy because, you know, the way a friend of mine put it, he goes, there's so many people that are out of work right now and they don't even know it yet because their business is not going to be able to survive. | ||
| Whatever they're in, whatever they do in small businesses, they think at the high end we might lose as many as 40% of all small businesses. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| And for what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For what? | |
| When we look back on it, for what, man? | ||
| Well, I wonder overall what the death rate's going to be when it comes to suicide, depression. | ||
| A starving hunger. | ||
| One in five kids are starving. | ||
| One in five right now, I just read. | ||
| Where? | ||
| In America. | ||
| One in five are starving. | ||
| One in five. | ||
| Look that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| One in five. | ||
| When there's a depression, one in five. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Domestic violence is up. | ||
| Suicide will be up. | ||
| Swartzen told me he was talking to the sheriff, and the sheriff said they usually deal with about one suicide a week, and now they're dealing with five a day. | ||
| No one's saying this, yeah, but let's keep the old healthy, man. | ||
| Let's stay quarantined. | ||
| It's like you have no idea the ramifications. | ||
| This is awful, man. | ||
| I wonder how this is going to affect the governor politically. | ||
| Newsom? | ||
| Yeah, I really wonder. | ||
| Everybody wants to piss down his throat. | ||
| Even Democrats. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| No, I don't know that. | ||
| I think his poll numbers are actually high. | ||
| It was one in seven before this. | ||
| One in seven? | ||
| Kids are starving? | ||
| One in seven before this shit hit. | ||
| And a fair amount of them were getting food at school. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| School programs. | ||
| They lost their ability to eat meals. | ||
| They have found ways to... | ||
| New programs that have started to get a little bit of food. | ||
| But yeah, that was their whole day. | ||
| That was their childcare. | ||
| And if you're a mom with little kids, toddlers, your break, your fucking grace for the day is those kids going to school or going to daycare. | ||
| When you don't have that... | ||
| Dude, you know how it is with little kids? | ||
| Right, now what happens to those moms if they're single moms and their kids are at home and they have to go to work still? | ||
| Most of them don't. | ||
| They're out of job too, but they're stuck with the kids. | ||
| And everyone's just going fucking crazy. | ||
| What do they do if they don't? | ||
| They're not out of work. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| If they have to work and the kids can't go to school because school's locked down. | ||
| Newsom doesn't care about that, man. | ||
| Let's make sure that the old people are okay, the economy goes to shit. | ||
| Do you think that's his perspective or do you think he's looking at it politically? | ||
| I think he's looking at it politically and if they can ruin the economy and that's what Trump's known for, then it's going to give Biden a better chance. | ||
| Hot take. | ||
| Two-term Trump. | ||
| Just kidding. | ||
| I was looking at this article where this woman said that I believe Tara Reid, the woman that says that Biden sexually assaulted her and I'm voting for Biden anyway. | ||
| Just to get Trump out of office. | ||
| I saw that crazy bitch. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Then how about Biden comes out and was like, we got to believe these victims and when I become president, I'm going to change the law. | ||
| They should be heard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| What the fuck are you talking about, dude? | ||
| It's all horse shit. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They're all full of shit. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| It's just some weird ideological battleground. | ||
| And Trump's not doing a good job either. | ||
| It's hard to defend him. | ||
| He's so worked up about all this stupid shit and telling the media he was being sarcastic so that they reported that he said, you know, I really didn't mean inject Lysol and disinfectant. | ||
| It's all nonsense, man. | ||
| When you look at all these politics, you're like, oh, this is all a bunch of nonsense. | ||
| I know, but to see how combative he is with people in the press, it's so silly. | ||
| It's such a waste of time and energy, and it makes him look so bad. | ||
| But that lady, that new press secretary, she's a fucking gangster. | ||
| When you sent me that video, dude. | ||
| She's a gangster. | ||
| Have you seen that video, Jamie? | ||
| You've never seen someone more prepared for a question in your life, Jamie. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Small point on that. | ||
| Not the big point, but small point. | ||
| She was so prepared for this. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Well, she's supposed to be prepared. | ||
| That's why I said you've never seen someone more prepared for that specific question. | ||
| Yes, because they're prepared. | ||
| And you know why they're prepared? | ||
| Because they're trying to play gotcha. | ||
| So she played gotcha with them. | ||
| She checkmated them. | ||
| She came in there with that fucking Elon Musk flamethrower. | ||
| Play that video. | ||
| Play that video. | ||
| You're on the other side. | ||
| No, no, no, I was saying... | ||
| Oh, you're a Biden guy! | ||
| No, hey, listen, before everyone jumps in, I almost was saying that it almost seems like she was working with that reporter to say, hey, feed me this so I can shit on everybody. | ||
| Nah, that guy got... | ||
| That doesn't happen? | ||
| That guy was yelling. | ||
| He was like, no, you were ready for this. | ||
| Hold on, hold on, hold on. | ||
| What did you just say? | ||
| He served her up a softball so she could fucking fire off the machine gun. | ||
| No, no, no, he didn't. | ||
| That's not what he did at all. | ||
| That guy sucks. | ||
| He tried to play gotcha with her. | ||
| Do you want to take your word back? | ||
| Because she said that Trump is not going to let the coronavirus come into the country. | ||
| And what she's saying, the reason why they're shutting down travel from Asia is because they're worried about the coronavirus coming to the country, and Trump's not going to let that happen. | ||
| So they tried to take what she said and take it out of context, Frame it in a way. | ||
| Make her look bad. | ||
| While she was saying that Trump is not going to let the country get infected by the coronavirus. | ||
| What she's trying to say is that he's not going to have free travel where people have coronavirus because it's going to bring the virus in. | ||
| Not that it's the only way the virus is going to get here. | ||
| The virus got here anyway. | ||
| She came with the fire regardless, Jamie. | ||
| The guy said, are you going to take that back? | ||
| I didn't say she didn't. | ||
| First of all, it's a douchey question. | ||
| All those journalists are kind of douchebags in the first place. | ||
| They're trying so hard to have these moments where they fucking play got ya. | ||
| But when do these journalists quit being journalists and become like fucking trolls off Reddit? | ||
| Like some of their questions to Trump, that's why Trump goes so hard in the paint on them. | ||
| I know, but he goes too hard. | ||
| He cares too much. | ||
| He cares too much. | ||
| He cares too much about what they think. | ||
| A lion should not be so concerned about the opinion of sheep. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Creech. | ||
| It's not becoming of someone who's in such a powerful position. | ||
| You're the president, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That guy's a fucking writer for Washington Post. | ||
| The way she handled it, though? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| She just dropped a fuck. | ||
| It was sexy. | ||
| It was sexy. | ||
| Wildy Coyote with a TNT. Boom! | ||
| She's like, you ready? | ||
| You want to do it now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scoom! | |
| Yeah, and then she had a big smile and walked off as they're trying to say, and he's like, you prepared for that? | ||
| Yeah, she went, thank you, have a good day. | ||
| Oh, gee, you think she prepared for it with all those stats that she read right in front of you? | ||
| Dude, they need to hire your boy Elon Musk to get on that fucking committee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's the video, pal? | |
| The first thing I have didn't have the video link, so I'm looking for it. | ||
| I retweeted it. | ||
| He's holding on to it. | ||
| He doesn't want to give it to us. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jamie doesn't want us to know. | ||
| I get shit because of this. | ||
| I'm in the middle of doing five things and switching the cameras between you and talking. | ||
| We're just playing. | ||
| No one online thinks you guys are playing. | ||
| People online, I love Jamie Vernon and we're just playing. | ||
| However, I do know that he's on the wrong side. | ||
| He's on the side of the bad guys. | ||
| That'll be fun for you, Jamie. | ||
| Let me go to the fight companion. | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| Here, play this. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Full page and make it loud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
President Trump will not allow the coronavirus to come to this country. | |
| Given what has happened since then, obviously, would you like to take that back? | ||
| Well first let me note I was asked a question on Fox Business about the president's travel restrictions. | ||
| I noted what was the intent behind those travel restrictions which is we will not see the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, referring to an earlier set of travel restrictions. | ||
| I guess I would turn the question back on the media and ask similar questions. | ||
| Does Vox want to take back that they proclaim that the coronavirus would not be a deadly pandemic? | ||
| Does the Washington Post want to take back That they told Americans to get a grip the flu is bigger than the coronavirus? | ||
| Does the Washington Post likewise want to take back that our brains are causing us to exaggerate the threat of the coronavirus? | ||
| Does the New York Times want to take back that fear of the virus may be spreading faster than the virus itself? | ||
| Does NPR want to take back that the flu was a much bigger threat than the coronavirus? | ||
| And finally, once again, the Washington Post, would they like to take back that the government should not respond aggressively to the coronavirus? | ||
| I'll leave you with those questions and maybe you'll have some answers in a few days. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Drink that shit in, Jamie. | ||
| Drink it in. | ||
| You were prepared for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like you with your practice bullshit question? | |
| Imagine you have one opportunity to ask her a question and that's what you ask her. | ||
| But then you get lit the fuck up. | ||
| You got lit up. | ||
| And then you get out of there and everyone's like, damn, that was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, you got served. | ||
| You got fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, he got served. | ||
| I want Dana. | ||
| Look at Jamie. | ||
| Asking a question. | ||
| I'm throwing it out there. | ||
| You guys can say that's not it, but I'm just asking a question. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Ask a question. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| You think it was a softball? | ||
| No, he's a cunt. | ||
| I don't know who the guy is. | ||
| I'm just asking. | ||
| I don't know who the guy is either. | ||
| What he was doing like that is a cunty question. | ||
| I don't know if he's a cunt. | ||
| Maybe he's a really nice guy. | ||
| You can look at his face though. | ||
| That's his job. | ||
| His job is to try to get attention and get some gotcha. | ||
| So he played gotcha and he got caught. | ||
| He got smacked down. | ||
| In the game of politics, he might get one back in two months by helping her out now, and now they're going to be a little bit of friends because they definitely play both sides of the game. | ||
| Jamie's online way too much. | ||
| We'll keep an eye on it, Jamie. | ||
| Jamie's online way too much, dude. | ||
| This is that one YouTube video that everybody's sending me that says, you've got to look into this, about that lady who apparently worked for Fauci. | ||
| What do you know about that? | ||
| What I read is she didn't work for Fauci. | ||
| So she's a liar? | ||
| I'm not saying that, but that's what I'm doing. | ||
| What did you read and where did you read it? | ||
| Is there an article that you could pull up? | ||
| It's goddammit, ten fucking people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta look into this. | |
| Seems pretty legit. | ||
| And what is it? | ||
| She used to work for Fauci? | ||
| I don't have the time to watch the whole thing. | ||
| The video keeps getting taken down. | ||
| Yeah, I watch a few minutes of it and then I try to click on the link 20 minutes later and it's taken down and a new one pops up. | ||
| YouTube keeps pulling it down. | ||
| God, Fauci, talk about a pussy. | ||
| Well, he... | ||
| Hey dude, come up with a... | ||
| Do you have any solutions? | ||
| Well, shut the world down for a couple years. | ||
| It's just doomsday all the time? | ||
| All you want to do is shut down everything nonstop? | ||
| I do got to say that Bill Gates seems really excited about vaccines. | ||
| And, you know, what I've heard from more than one person is that, first of all, I don't know if there's ever been a coronavirus vaccine. | ||
| I don't think there has been. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| And two, the other thing is they're saying that even if you get vaccinated for this, you might have to get vaccinated every year for it. | ||
| It might be something that returns every year in some new form and you have to get vaccinated again. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And there's no indication so far that people who have antibodies are 100% immune to it. | ||
| Also, they found out, there was an article, see if you can find this. | ||
| Forget about that Fauci thing. | ||
| See if you can find this. | ||
| There was an article that said that they've determined that the people in Korea, at least, who tested negative for the coronavirus and then tested positive, that these were some... | ||
| I think the way I describe them is latent antibodies in their system, and that they're just such a small amount that even though they're testing positive, it's still from the initial infection and not some... | ||
| Oh, it's like residue in there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not like a new infection. | ||
| Boy, did we fuck that up. | ||
| It doesn't sound like a doctor at all. | ||
| It says they're testing to see if they've been reactivated by being... | ||
| Being worn down or something? | ||
| No, being, like, re... | ||
| Infected? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's funny, too, how, you know, like, Texas, Ohio, Atlanta, Utah, Denver, these cities opening up, and people are going, see, look what happens when we open up, more cases. | ||
| Like, no, dum-dums, we're testing more. | ||
| So, of course, there's going to be more cases. | ||
| Yeah, there's more cases. | ||
| All I care about is the mortality rate. | ||
| Look at the mortality rate. | ||
| You know how many were in Denver yesterday? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Nobody died in Denver yesterday? | ||
| Nobody yesterday. | ||
| Well, Utah, or was it Montana? | ||
| Yeah, Montana's one death ever. | ||
| One death from COVID. We can take this operation to Utah or Montana. | ||
| Montana gets real cold, bro. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to do cold. | ||
| Utah gets cold, too. | ||
| Yeah, Utah. | ||
| Texas, dude. | ||
| Texas does not get cold, but it gets hot. | ||
| I don't mind the hot. | ||
| But they got good food. | ||
| Great food. | ||
| Good people. | ||
| I like the accents. | ||
| Great clubs. | ||
| Yes, great place to work out. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Well, Salt Lake City, Wise Guys are some of the best clubs. | ||
| Don't they have three of them now? | ||
| No. | ||
| Wise Guys? | ||
| Yeah, they have at least two. | ||
| I only know of the one, the main one. | ||
| I think they have at least two. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Keith. | ||
| Yeah, Wise Guys is a great club. | ||
| He's one of my favorite people. | ||
| Yeah, that Salt Lake City club is fucking fantastic. | ||
| His brother, you'll like this, Jamie, his brother was the offense coordinator at Alabama. | ||
| Roll Tide. | ||
| Yeah, Roll Tide. | ||
| So I'll talk to him about football because he knows his shit, man. | ||
| He's such a good dude, man. | ||
| Such a good dude. | ||
| Yeah, that's an underrated place, Salt Lake City. | ||
| Real underrated. | ||
| The Mormons got everybody so scared of Salt Lake City. | ||
| You can go there at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. | ||
| There's no traffic. | ||
| That's great out there. | ||
| Then go to the Red Iguana, get that Mexican food. | ||
| That Red Iguana's good, bro. | ||
| That's my spot, dude. | ||
| Oh my god, you can get fat there easy. | ||
| It's so nice. | ||
| Real easy. | ||
| They got good shopping out there. | ||
| It's clean. | ||
| It's very nice. | ||
| Good hotels. | ||
| Yeah, very nice. | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
| I like Utah, period. | ||
| Nice people. | ||
| I have a show end of June, which is almost sold out in Spokane, and I do meet and greets, and the club's like, no meet and greets. | ||
| Brennan's not going to meet with anyone because they worry about Corona. | ||
| I emailed my manager this morning and went, dude, I'm good to meet and greet, man. | ||
| I'm telling you I'm good. | ||
| I'm comfortable with that. | ||
| He's all, really? | ||
| The manager's freaked out? | ||
| Yeah, the club's freaked out. | ||
| I'm like, I'll sign a waiver, whatever you want, but I'm not going to go there and not meet people, dude. | ||
| Everyone's so scared. | ||
| When do you think it's going to be back to normal, where people won't be scared anymore? | ||
| Let the bitches suck on their thumb and hide, and the rest of us just go about our business, man. | ||
| I asked my dad about what it was like in polio in the 50s when they were growing up. | ||
| And that summer when people were getting tested, people were afraid to jump in pools because there's polio in that pool. | ||
| Don't get in there. | ||
| So it might last through the summer until... | ||
| Well, the worry is that it comes back in the fall. | ||
| And I don't totally understand this, when they're going to say it's going to die off in the heat and then come back when it gets cold again. | ||
| You mean like flu season? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You mean like your standard flu season? | ||
| Here's the other thing is we did the quarantine to really protect the old and those at risk, but also to make sure the hospitals can tolerate the mass of people coming in there with COVID. | ||
| Well, I think we've done a pretty good job of that. | ||
| And that's why we're opening up. | ||
| Those hospitals, a lot of them are shutting down. | ||
| They can't afford to stay open. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, you-- Now, New York says, hold my mask. | |
| New York says, hold my mask. | ||
| People are dying like crazy over here. | ||
| Some hospitals in New York, yeah. | ||
| But other than that, man, I have friends who are nurses, especially in Texas and L.A., and they're like... | ||
| People are scared to come in here now because they think they're going to get COVID here. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| The whole thing's a fucking... | ||
| It's like we're living in a real shitty Black Mirror episode. | ||
| It's like the most boringest episode of all time. | ||
| Well, the guy from Black Mirror says he's not even going to have a season this year because he can't. | ||
| The world is too bonkers for him to be able to do Black Mirror. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| He's going to have to let it sit out and... | ||
| What have you been watching? | ||
| Ozark. | ||
| Did you watch Ozark? | ||
| So good. | ||
| Did I? Did you watch the whole season? | ||
| All three. | ||
| The end. | ||
| Binged them all. | ||
| The end is like, what in the fuck? | ||
| I can't get enough of that shit. | ||
| As soon as the last episode of season three was over, I googled, when does season four start? | ||
| What to say? | ||
| They don't have an answer. | ||
| Like, how are you going to leave me hanging like that? | ||
| Everything's on hiatus. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| They can't act. | ||
| Because then they have to get close to each other. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Someone might get the cooties. | ||
| I watch Hunters with Al Pacino hunt Nazis. | ||
| Oh, how's that? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, it's good. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Is that a series or is that a show? | ||
| It's a series on Amazon. | ||
| Oh, Amazon's doing some good shit, man. | ||
| You ever watched Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? | ||
| No! | ||
| I want to, though, because you said it's good, right? | ||
| First two seasons are very good. | ||
| Third season lost me in the beginning, but I might try it again. | ||
| Coming back. | ||
| Now that Ozark is over, I might jump back in. | ||
| Ozark has to be top five of all time. | ||
| It's a fucking amazing show. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It's so fucking good. | ||
| And you know what's crazy? | ||
| We were just talking about this. | ||
| The scariest people on the scariest show are women. | ||
| That Darlene bitch is the scariest woman in all of television. | ||
| The lawyer? | ||
| The poppies. | ||
| Yeah, the lawyer. | ||
| Oh, that crazy bitch? | ||
| Yeah, that one. | ||
| And then spoiler alert in three, two, one. | ||
| And then she's hooking up like that 17-year-old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hilarious! | |
| She kills her husband? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| She's so fucking hardcore. | ||
| She's so crazy. | ||
| When she shoots Homeboy? | ||
| I'm so bad at spoilers. | ||
| Yeah, it's a spoiler alert. | ||
| It's been out long enough now. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| People don't have the time. | ||
| You can't ruin it for them, Brendan. | ||
| People don't have time to do what? | ||
| They don't have time. | ||
| We have nothing to do. | ||
| But there's other shows. | ||
| There's movies. | ||
| I binge-watched every Adam Sandler movie he's ever done. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Except Little Nicky. | ||
| I haven't seen Little Nicky yet. | ||
| Little Nicky's good. | ||
| People hate on it. | ||
| I love Little Nicky. | ||
| Kevin Nealon has tits. | ||
| Maybe we'll watch it tonight. | ||
| He grows tits on his head. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Super underrated. | ||
| We've been doing every night. | ||
| We have a movie night at home. | ||
| Oh, he's great. | ||
| With the kids. | ||
| Dude, Adam Sandler movies, sir. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| Zohan is, to this day, one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| You had Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Wedding Singer. | ||
| Happy Gilmore's amazing. | ||
| Wedding Singer. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Big Daddy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big Daddy was great. | ||
| He's got great fucking movies, man. | ||
| And he gets hated on. | ||
| Like the Rotten Tomatoes scores. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| He's so talented. | ||
| People want really clever, really great writing. | ||
| Just be entertained. | ||
| You're telling me Billy Masson and Happy Gilmore is not creative writing? | ||
| Especially at the time? | ||
| It's the thing is... | ||
| The kind of jokes, although they're hilarious, they're like all dick jokes. | ||
| It's all like, but it's funny. | ||
| That's my brand. | ||
| All I care is what's funny. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I just want to be entertained. | ||
| Dude, I howled at Happy Gilmore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Howled. | |
| Oh, it's fucking great, dude. | ||
| You forget how good it is. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| There's so many of those movies I haven't seen in forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I haven't seen so many of those movies forever. | ||
| Did you see Uncut Gems with him? | ||
| I haven't. | ||
| I heard it's great. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| I heard it's great. | ||
| He blows you away in that. | ||
| Blows you away. | ||
| That's a drama, right? | ||
| Drama. | ||
| Yeah, he plays a serious character. | ||
| You're just sweating the whole time. | ||
| It's so intense. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great movie. | ||
| I saw Ready Player One. | ||
| It's a fucking great movie. | ||
| I haven't seen that. | ||
| Who's the director? | ||
| Steven Spielberg. | ||
| If you care to, the book, which I listened to, it's one of the only fiction books I've ever even bothered to go through, but I listened to it. | ||
| Will Wheaton, the guy from Star Trek, reads it, and he reads some character voices. | ||
| Fucking awesome. | ||
| It's way different than the movie. | ||
| The stuff they do, Like the trials, if you will. | ||
| I don't want to spoil it much because it's so different. | ||
| It's so much more detailed... | ||
| It's way awesome. | ||
| They just couldn't do it in the movie because they would have had to pay for way more licenses for way more things. | ||
| Hey, did your boy Tom O'Neill, who wrote that Manson book, the CIA book, did he say when they're going to come out with the documentary, the TV show of it? | ||
| No, because they still haven't decided whether or not they're going to do one single documentary or they're going to do an Amazon series like Wild West or Wild Country. | ||
| They should do a series like Wild Wild Country. | ||
| Or Tiger King or something like that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what they should do. | ||
| Yeah, they should definitely do that. | ||
| They should do a series. | ||
| It's too intricate. | ||
| It's too detailed. | ||
| It's deep, dude. | ||
| There's so much going on with that fucking book. | ||
| That book's amazing. | ||
| But that book became a New York Times bestseller after it came on the podcast. | ||
| It's blowing through the fucking roof. | ||
| It's huge sales now. | ||
| It deserves it. | ||
| It deserves it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so fucking good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the amount of time he put into it. | ||
| I don't even think the paperback's out. | ||
| June 23rd, I think. | ||
| Unless they bump it up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So the hardcover sold out. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| Yeah, it's a really well-researched and well-done book. | ||
| It's his life's work, man. | ||
| It's crazy to think that this guy worked on it for 20 years. | ||
| 20 years on this one book. | ||
| And it started out as a magazine article for Premiere. | ||
| Nuts, and he got super deep. | ||
| And as he started uncovering things, he's like, holy shit. | ||
| It'll make you question everything with the CIA and all that stuff. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| And Manson. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| You got into it way before he was on the podcast. | ||
| How did you find out about it? | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| I'm not obsessed, but I like Manson stuff. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| After that whole time period, you know, in the late 60s and 70s, I liked that time period, especially in Hollywood. | ||
| I just got into the Manson stuff, man. | ||
| It is a weird time period. | ||
| And then somebody recommended it to me, like a fan. | ||
| I was like, you might dig this one, man. | ||
| I picked up, I was like... | ||
| Holy shit, this is good. | ||
| You know, Fitzsimmons knew that guy during the entire time he was writing that book. | ||
| They were next-door neighbors for 20 years. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's how I found out about the book. | ||
| Fitzsimmons does my podcast. | ||
| We're hanging out and talking. | ||
| He goes, hey, man. | ||
| He goes, there's something you'd really be interested in. | ||
| My friend Tom O'Neill wrote this book about Manson. | ||
| Immediately, my eyes glossed. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Your friend wrote a book about Manson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then he starts talking. | ||
| And the more he starts talking, I'm like, what? | ||
| And he's like, yeah. | ||
| He goes, he was part of this CIA LSD experiment where they were helping Manson get LSD, and they were teaching him these tactics for getting these fucking hippies. | ||
| And they probably did it while he was in jail. | ||
| And they probably dosed him. | ||
| And then it turns out that those doctors with the same names as the doctors that were in the CIA LSD program also visited Manson in prison. | ||
| You're like, hold on. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And they see how much leeway they gave him getting in trouble with the law. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| Every time he got arrested, they let him out, even while he was on parole. | ||
| Violated his parole. | ||
| They let him right out of jail. | ||
| And every time they talked to the sheriffs or the different cops that arrested him, they're like, it's above my pay grade. | ||
| They were told to let him out. | ||
| What's interesting about Manson, too, is he's obviously the most famous serial killer. | ||
| Not a serial killer, though. | ||
| How can you label him a serial killer? | ||
| He's never killed anybody. | ||
| Well, he definitely killed somebody. | ||
| He shot a guy. | ||
| He killed that one guy at the ranch that died. | ||
| Shot a guy, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he directed those other people to kill people. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Well, what's interesting is- That wouldn't be a serial killer. | ||
| No, he's not a serial killer. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's a killer. | ||
| But he's also a part of a CIA LSD PSYOP program. | ||
| All that fucking- Wasn't Kaczynski too, though? | ||
| Mind control shit. | ||
| Yeah, he was a different one. | ||
| Kaczynski was a part of the Harvard LSD experiments. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were doing a lot of wacky shit with LSD back in those days. | ||
| There's a lot of terrible things that happened to people because they dosed them up with LSD and blew their brains out. | ||
| It's weird Manson never came out and said this. | ||
| Like, oh dude, I was fine until these fucks came along and gave me LSD. I was trying to fucking play with the, you know, the Beach Boys. | ||
| I mean, back then... | ||
| Because he's a legit musician. | ||
| Like, pretty legit musician, too, man. | ||
| Is there any of his music? | ||
| Yeah, you can't listen to his music? | ||
| He would hang with the Beach Boys. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, Brian Wilson was going to give him some sort of a contract, and they... | ||
| Then his agent went down to his ranch and was like, well, this is terrible. | ||
| And that's when he's like, oh, well, we're going to kill you now. | ||
| Well, we're going to kill everybody. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Can you imagine that one back then? | ||
| No internet. | ||
| The whole hippie movement is a new thing, right? | ||
| Before the 60s, the 50s, there was nothing like that. | ||
| So all of a sudden, that's like from 2010, there's no hippies at all. | ||
| And all of a sudden, here we are in 2020 and hippies are everywhere. | ||
| And the flower children, they're doing acid and freaking out. | ||
| Having sex. | ||
| Having sex and having orgies. | ||
| You mean having a great time, Joe? | ||
| Some of it's probably a good time. | ||
| Probably the best of times. | ||
| You know Woodstock went on during a pandemic? | ||
| Yeah, you sent me that. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| They closed down. | ||
| It was before Woodstock, right? | ||
| And they shut everything down and avoided the pandemic. | ||
| Woodstock still went on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the economy, everything didn't shut down. | ||
| How long? | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| It was more deaths than we have during this thing so far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And America just kind of powered through it. | ||
| Everyone's like, we've never seen something like this before. | ||
| It's like, you all get history, man. | ||
| We have. | ||
| Well, we definitely... | ||
| Everybody goes to 1918. Hong Kong flu, 1968, killed one million worldwide and 100,000 in the U.S., Wow. | ||
| Woodstock went on during that time. | ||
| Think about all the dudes that got their dicks sucked during that pandemic. | ||
| Dirty hippies. | ||
| Yeah, and mud. | ||
| Yeah, dirty hippies. | ||
| And Hell's Angels were there stabbing people. | ||
| And that was called the Hong Kong flu? | ||
| That's racist. | ||
| And then they tried to call this one the Kung flu. | ||
| But is it racist if it came from Hong Kong? | ||
| Did it come from a wet market? | ||
| They say that's fake, right? | ||
| It's created in a lab? | ||
| They say, well, there's two stories. | ||
| One story is, yes, it was created in the market. | ||
| The other story is, it was something that was in a lab and it was leaked. | ||
| What's Elon Musk say? | ||
| He's my Lord and Savior. | ||
| I didn't ask him. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't ask him about that. | ||
| We talked about the disease, but we basically talked about the infringements on civil liberties by forcing people to stay home, and he doesn't agree with any of that. | ||
| Nuts. | ||
| He said you should have the right to quarantine if you so choose to. | ||
| That's America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think so too. | ||
| I'm always over by his SpaceX. | ||
| And it's so, in a weird way, motivating. | ||
| Look at what he's built over there. | ||
| I take my son to a gym over there, Jeff Foley's gym. | ||
| And we park right by it and you see the huge spaceship and the parking. | ||
| It used to be a hoodie area. | ||
| It's booming over there now, man. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| Is that Burbank? | ||
| No, it's like Hawthorne. | ||
| Hawthorne, yeah. | ||
| Hawthorne. | ||
| Right by the Hawthorne Airport. | ||
| You take a right and see this huge spaceship, SpaceX, and this dope building. | ||
| Dude, we were talking about Neuralink a lot yesterday. | ||
| Oh, you're talking about what? | ||
| Neuralink? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| They're going to drill a fucking one-inch diameter hole in your head and insert something with these little wires. | ||
| They're going to go about two millimeters into your brain, and they're going to juice up your fucking noggin. | ||
| So it's just everybody smart as fuck? | ||
| That's how it's going to work. | ||
| So then you just have a computer in your brain? | ||
| Oh yeah, you're gonna be smart as fuck. | ||
| And he goes... | ||
| Elon doesn't need that. | ||
| This is what Elon said. | ||
| You're not gonna have to talk anymore. | ||
| Not gonna have to talk anymore. | ||
| One day. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| No need to talk anymore. | ||
| How are we gonna communicate? | ||
| Through our brains. | ||
| Oh God, I don't want... | ||
| Tune into each other with a universal language of love. | ||
| Oh, we're gonna be robots. | ||
| Oh, you mean be robots, Elon. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| Elon, don't create this shit, dude. | ||
| Aliens. | ||
| We're going to become aliens. | ||
| One other thing he said when we were talking about artificial intelligence, it was like, if you can't beat them, join them. | ||
| Look, that's what it's going to look like. | ||
| A hole in your fucking head, bro. | ||
| Who's signing up for that first? | ||
| Me. | ||
| No. | ||
| First in line. | ||
| Fuck it, let's see. | ||
| You get the shitty version? | ||
| I'm tired of talking to people. | ||
| I'm going to put out podcasts just laying there and just thinking. | ||
| And then you're going to receive it. | ||
| What a nightmare. | ||
| What's the point, man? | ||
| Well, the point of this, first of all, initially, is to heal injuries. | ||
| He said we're going to be able to take people with spinal cord injuries, even quadriplegics. | ||
| CT? Yes. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Brain damage, Alzheimer's. | ||
| But the thing is about people that are injured that can't move, you're basically going to have new things that move your muscles where your spinal cord doesn't work anymore. | ||
| And ultimately, it'll work even better. | ||
| I go, better? | ||
| He goes, yes, better. | ||
| So it'll work better than your own fucking spinal cord and your own nerves. | ||
| So then your reactions, your movement, sports are going to be insane. | ||
| Yeah, imagine some dude who's got like a catastrophic neck injury and they go, we got good news and bad news. | ||
| Bad news is you have a catastrophic neck injury. | ||
| You're paralyzed from the neck down. | ||
| The good news is we're going to install Neuralink and your body's going to work way better than it ever worked. | ||
| You're just going to have to bypass the regular nerves with the synthetic nerves. | ||
| And we're going to install everything. | ||
| It's going to take about 16 hours on the operating table. | ||
| And you're going to get out and you're going to be able to jump over buildings. | ||
| Yeah, but you know that first version is going to be like the cell phone. | ||
| So it's going to be some blocky, you look like an asshole. | ||
| Nah, not for me, man. | ||
| Not for you right now, but just like you don't want to carry that brick that fucking homeboy had in Wall Street in your pocket. | ||
| Remember the Michael Douglas brick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You don't want that in your pocket. | ||
| Hell no, I'm going to wait. | ||
| I'm going to wait it out. | ||
| But look, all those years later, look what we got. | ||
| I know, you're right. | ||
| Look at that sleek little device. | ||
| So nice. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| That's what it's going to be. | ||
| In the beginning, it's going to be some stupid thing. | ||
| You got to wear a football helmet everywhere, but you could see the moon. | ||
| You can read people's minds, but you have some fucking big bulky thing in your head, like a motorcycle helmet or something. | ||
| I'll probably be dead, but for my kids, it's going to be a weird one. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I don't think you will be. | ||
| He's talking about five years. | ||
| He's talking about the implementation of this stuff. | ||
| Five years, that thing's going to be like a jillion dollars. | ||
| I don't think it will be, man. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| But I think the thing that you have to worry about is the haves and the have-nots. | ||
| There's never going to be a bigger distinction between haves and have-nots to when you have this neural link that literally turns you into a super cyborg, and the people that are poor have no access to that. | ||
| So he was sort of saying, like... | ||
| You're gonna have access to so much more productivity. | ||
| You're gonna be able to get so much more accomplished. | ||
| You're never gonna get tired. | ||
| It's gonna be so difficult. | ||
| And he's creating this? | ||
| He's making it. | ||
| Why do you want to do this, Elon? | ||
| I don't think he can help himself. | ||
| Well, like he said, if you can't beat him, join him? | ||
| Well, I also think his brain is so different than our brains. | ||
| When you're sitting there talking to him, I think he's trying to talk to me the way I talk to a three-year-old. | ||
| Like, if a three-year-old's trying to talk to me about a drawing they made, I'm like, oh, okay, cool. | ||
| So is that a house? | ||
| Is that the house right there? | ||
| Oh, is that you? | ||
| No, it's your daddy. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That's how it is for him on a daily basis. | ||
| Just the worst, he's all fucked. | ||
| I'm always surprised that he talks to me. | ||
| Whenever I text him, I'm always surprised he texts me back. | ||
| It's Elon Musk, dude. | ||
| I know. | ||
| When I'm sitting down with him. | ||
| Whose idea was it for him to come on? | ||
| Well, he was tweeting a bunch of crazy shit about getting rid of his houses. | ||
| Did he explain why he wants to get rid of his house? | ||
| Yeah, he said that it's an attack vector, the fact that he has so much possessions, and he's so wealthy. | ||
| People go, oh, you're a billionaire, you have so many things. | ||
| He goes, okay, I'll get rid of everything. | ||
| I won't have anything. | ||
| Then what? | ||
| What do you say then? | ||
| He's going to rent. | ||
| He's going to rent a house. | ||
| That's what he told me. | ||
| Quit listening to people, dude. | ||
| You're a fucking billionaire. | ||
| Become a supervillain. | ||
| Do your thing, dude. | ||
| He was tweeting shit like Free America Now. | ||
| Yeah, I loved it. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I did too. | ||
| Everybody's going nuts. | ||
| And, you know, people were mad at him. | ||
| People were agreeing with him. | ||
| And so I saw him like, I guarantee you, he probably wants- There's a lot to say. | ||
| Yeah, and he also wants an opportunity to express himself freely. | ||
| Where someone can... | ||
| There's not a lot of places where he can just do that. | ||
| And so I said... | ||
| Oh, I love it. | ||
| I just sent him a text. | ||
| You ever want to come on and talk? | ||
| I go, you have an open invitation. | ||
| What was he like? | ||
| He goes, when would it be good for you? | ||
| Does he write in code? | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just normal? | |
| Normal text messages. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| He's a fun guy, man. | ||
| I really enjoy his company. | ||
| Bet he didn't smoke weed this time. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I told him we could leave the weed alone. | ||
| We drank. | ||
| We had some whiskey. | ||
| Oh, did he drink? | ||
| Yeah, he always drinks. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we talked. | ||
| It must be tough for him. | ||
| Yeah, he's so smart. | ||
| The only reason why he didn't come in the day before yesterday is his kid was born. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, so he left the hospital, went home, came right here. | ||
| Gangster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Always been a fan, even when he didn't have hair. | ||
| Always a fan. | ||
| Got those plugs, son. | ||
| They work. | ||
| The come-up. | ||
| He's a timepiece now. | ||
| High-level plugs. | ||
| Elon Musk plugs, man. | ||
| Yeah, he spent the good money. | ||
| I don't get why Trump and LeBron don't figure it out. | ||
| If Elon can. | ||
| Yeah, well, LeBron, first of all, just shave his head. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And Trump, first of all, just shave your head. | ||
| Can you imagine Trump bald? | ||
| He'd look like Kingpin, dude. | ||
| I swear to God, if I could grow hair, I'd shave my head. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If you'd grow it like that, Jesse Stamos. | ||
| Oh, come on, dude. | ||
| Don't shave my head. | ||
| Dude, I like the way I look. | ||
| Bald. | ||
| You look cool. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I do like it. | ||
| I like the low maintenance of it. | ||
| I used to have a hairdresser that I went to for years, and she's nice, and I miss her. | ||
| She just cut my hair. | ||
| We had good conversations. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all I miss about having hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shampoo. | ||
| You had a good set of hair on you, though, too, man. | ||
| Back in the early days. | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| That shit started going, son. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the Propecia. | ||
| Propecia's not good for the pecker. | ||
| Brian begs a differ. | ||
| He says it takes harder on it. | ||
| It's so hard to believe. | ||
| Who knows with Brian? | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| It's so hard to figure out. | ||
| You've got to decipher it through the madness. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| And Brian is shaving his head too now. | ||
| He's just taking it in steps. | ||
| That's what I told him. | ||
| I go, do the full rogue. | ||
| He's like, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm like, dude, it's a matter of time. | ||
| Father time catcher here. | ||
| He got it really short and now he's letting it grow a little longer. | ||
| It's gonna grow out looking like shit. | ||
| Father of Time is his barber. | ||
| Dude, let it go. | ||
| Buzz it down, baby. | ||
| Buzz it down, dude. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| People dig the short hair on Brian. | ||
| It's so low maintenance. | ||
| That's what I like about being bald. | ||
| Every like four or five days, I take the clippers and I fucking... | ||
| I try to convince Jamie. | ||
| Because Jamie can't get a haircut because there's no barber. | ||
| No, his shit looks nice right now. | ||
| Shave it down, bro. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, his shit looks flowing right now. | ||
| When you go outside, you gotta put on sunscreen and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put a hat. | |
| You wear a hat everywhere you go, son. | ||
| You're wearing a hat right now. | ||
| I didn't say it's maintenance. | ||
| I'm just saying it's the same maintenance. | ||
| Dude, my hair was down to here. | ||
| My hair was down to here. | ||
| And then I got on the trails and I was like, I'm hot as fuck. | ||
| Well, you used to buzz down when you fought. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You used to get crew cuts. | ||
| Because low maintenance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, you know... | ||
| I remember I was like, looking in the mirror, fixing my... | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| And then I shaved it. | ||
| Yeah, when you're fighting, you can't be thinking about shit like that. | ||
| I was thinking about shaving, I was trying to convince my son to shave it too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And his mom's like, he's not shaving his head. | ||
| He looks like a little Navy SEAL and it's shaved. | ||
| It's cute as fuck. | ||
| Dude, I gotta convince him not to touch fucking rattlesnakes, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah, he probably doesn't understand. | ||
| No, I kept showing him videos, because I show him the videos. | ||
| Before I show you guys, I show him when I get home. | ||
| I'm like, look, Papa saw another rattlesnake. | ||
| And he has this false confidence, right? | ||
| He goes, I'm the fastest kid in the world. | ||
| I go, you're the fastest kid in the world. | ||
| That comp's going to help you when you get older. | ||
| But right now, he goes, I'm the fast skin of the world. | ||
| I go, you are fast, but you're not faster than the snake. | ||
| He goes, yes, I am, Papa. | ||
| I go, I'm telling you you're not faster than the snake. | ||
| I go, are you faster than me? | ||
| He goes, yes. | ||
| I go, all right, well, let's say you're a little faster than me. | ||
| We're not as fast as this, and I'll play a video of a snake striking. | ||
| I go, you're not that fast. | ||
| He goes, then I fucking, I chop it. | ||
| I chop it. | ||
| You don't chop it, dude. | ||
| So I've been showing them just horrible- Like Napoleon Dynamite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I show them horrible videos of snakes. | ||
| Horrible videos. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And it's just not getting through his head. | ||
| So now I tell the lady who watches him during the day, if I'm at work, or his mom, if he goes outside, someone has to go first. | ||
| If you're a rattlesnake, you get him the fuck out of there. | ||
| Because he thinks he's faster than it. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm the fastest boy in the world. | ||
| All right, dude. | ||
| Alright, dude. | ||
| You've got to admire the confidence. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's going to pay off when he's older if he gets in sports, but right now it's a problem. | ||
| As long as he doesn't get bit first. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Nightmare. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I guess there's rattlesnake socks you can buy. | ||
| People have been sending me socks you can buy where the snake can't get through it. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| It must be Kevlar. | ||
| I have no idea, but I should probably get a pair. | ||
| Yeah, it's got to be the same material they use for knife-proof vests and shit like that. | ||
| Dude, I'm going mountain biking with this guy Joe. | ||
| He's a specialized pro. | ||
| And me and him go on the trails. | ||
| And that's why I've been training so hard, because I know I'm going to go with him, so I want to try and see where I'm at with this pro guy. | ||
| Should be pretty nuts. | ||
| So you're training? | ||
| I'm training. | ||
| Yeah, I go to sleep. | ||
| Before I go to sleep at night, I'll go through the trail in my head. | ||
| Just like when I was fighting, I go through it in my head. | ||
| I'm obsessed with it, man. | ||
| Mountain biking! | ||
| Nuts, right? | ||
| How did that happen? | ||
| The quarantine. | ||
| But it's out of nowhere. | ||
| That big glacier downhill thing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Where's that? | ||
| It's in like France. | ||
| You go to the top of a glacier and you go all the way down. | ||
| That's the thing we've seen a few times where everybody crashes in that big thing. | ||
| Oh, that looks terrifying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's nuts. | |
| That's the one where you go over that ridge and to the left and to the right is death? | ||
| That's a different thing. | ||
| That's just fun. | ||
| That's just fun trails. | ||
| What's weird about me is I like to suffer a little. | ||
| I like going up the hills, man. | ||
| I like when it's steep as fuck. | ||
| Sometimes my quads will get so pumped of blood, I have to get off and walk. | ||
| I have this weird trigger in me where I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. | ||
| And the sun's beating down on me. | ||
| There might be a rattlesnake. | ||
| I'm just like, fuck! | ||
| I'm going. | ||
| I just love it. | ||
| Well, it's no pounding, too. | ||
| That's the great thing. | ||
| You're getting cardio without beating the fuck out of your joints. | ||
| I'm getting lean, dude. | ||
| I'm losing weight on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| You're doing this every day? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| How many miles? | ||
| Today I did 24 miles. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, that's real. | ||
| What do you do when you get a flat? | ||
| You're 24 miles out, you get a flat. | ||
| You can fix it. | ||
| Some of these are tubeless, but I know how to fix it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tubeless? | ||
| Tubeless. | ||
| Tubeless tires. | ||
| So where if they get a flat, there's a liquid in that fills the hole. | ||
| But sometimes it's too bad. | ||
| Like if my chain's broke, I can fix it. | ||
| You fixed a chain? | ||
| Fixed my chain. | ||
| What are you learning how to do this? | ||
| I don't even know you anymore. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You fixed the chains? | ||
| When you first got into hunting, weren't you obsessed with it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's how I am right now with biking. | ||
| It's weird, dude. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| The Thick Boy Bike Club, that was a joke at first, but then all these people just started... | ||
| I'm getting hundreds and thousands of messages of people on their bikes. | ||
| I was like, we got a real fucking club here. | ||
| You know how Kevin Hart does those things where he has these races? | ||
| That's what I'm doing. | ||
| Where's the Thick Boy Bike Club going to meet? | ||
| Well, once we go back to normal, every city I go into, that Saturday, we're meeting at their top trail. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's what I'm doing, dude. | ||
| So you're going to do a Kevin Hart? | ||
| I'm doing a Kevin Hart, but with bikes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Because everyone can relate to bikes. | ||
| People are going to fall and break their fucking necks right in front of me. | ||
| Not my insurance. | ||
| That's why you can't charge them to be part of it. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Then it's like, hey, we met here. | ||
| It's Thick Boy Bike Club. | ||
| Yeah, you're on your own. | ||
| We're all riding together, man. | ||
| No liability. | ||
| Wow, I like it. | ||
| Hey, man, it's a great activity for cardio. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| And the biking community is so positive. | ||
| I have so many people reaching out to me, specialized, you know, all these people just reaching out. | ||
| It's nuts, dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's one of the best things that happen out of this quarantine. | ||
| I'm like, holy fuck. | ||
| When I say I love it, man, literally, I close my eyes the night before I go through the entire trail. | ||
| What does Callan think about all this? | ||
| He's like, well, I'll post bikes all the time. | ||
| He'll be like, he'll get on and go, please quit posting your bike. | ||
| Why does he get upset by it? | ||
| I think he's just fucking around, but he just, I don't know. | ||
| You know Callan. | ||
| Bro, we gotta move him out of Venice. | ||
| Who's telling me about the homeless problem he's got near his place? | ||
| His place is dope, man. | ||
| You know, I grew up in Venice in the summer, so Venice is in my heart, man. | ||
| I love Venice, but there's always been a bum problem. | ||
| We went to Felix, that fucking dope restaurant on Abbott-Kinney. | ||
| Great restaurant. | ||
| Love that place. | ||
| And as we're passing this, on the left is a beautiful house, probably a $5 million house. | ||
| At least. | ||
| Right in front of it, there's 10 tents. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| This guy's literally across the street from a homeless encampment. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And he's got this gorgeous house. | ||
| The tough thing is, again, I love Venice, one of my favorite places on earth, if not my favorite. | ||
| The problem is, do you want to raise a family? | ||
| Like, I don't want my son being around that, you know? | ||
| It's just, there's so much homelessness. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And Brian sent us that article about how it's essentially just devastating real estate prices. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| And they don't know what to do. | ||
| People have no idea what to do or how to fix it. | ||
| I don't know what you do. | ||
| It's only growing. | ||
| I know now that I'm so into biking, I'm only going to live in either Palisades, Malibu or Woodland Hills where we're at. | ||
| Because the mountain's there. | ||
| So when I go over, I go to Palisades, Malibu or I'm in Woodland Hills... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Calabasas. | |
| I'm only living there. | ||
| Those are great choices, especially Malibu. | ||
| The air over there is fantastic. | ||
| You're getting that ocean air. | ||
| No smog. | ||
| It just blows right from the ocean. | ||
| Sigur is my neighbor. | ||
| Sigur moved over there. | ||
| Yeah, he loves it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| It's a great place to live in terms of air quality. | ||
| It's nice places to go to. | ||
| Great places, dude. | ||
| You can surf, bike ride. | ||
| My kid goes to school over there, so I've got to figure it out. | ||
| Might be the move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Might be the move. | ||
| I love where we're at, though, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, I mean, California is good in terms of weather. | ||
| There's a lot of great people here. | ||
| We have a lot of great friends here. | ||
| Best restaurants. | ||
| Best comedy club. | ||
| Best comedy club. | ||
| Two best comedy clubs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| La Jolla and the store in Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The best comedy clubs in the world. | ||
| And the improv's great, too. | ||
| I love the improv. | ||
| And I love the ice house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ice house ain't bound. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Ice house is killing it. | ||
| The real question is, what's everything gonna be like when everything reopens? | ||
| And what happens if we get a second wave? | ||
| If we get locked down again? | ||
| If this governor thinks he can lock everything down again, even after we've shown... | ||
| Look, if the statistics come out, and what Elon said was true, that the death rate, when it appears to be, is far lower than anybody anticipated. | ||
| If this guy still thinks they're gonna lock everything down again in a few months, if we get a second wave, he can eat shit. | ||
| People aren't gonna put up with it, man. | ||
| People are gonna leave. | ||
| They're going to leave the state. | ||
| They're leaving already. | ||
| People aren't going to put up with it, and yeah, they're going to leave, but I also just think they're not going to put up with it. | ||
| Well, it could be very bad for him politically if he continues to go down this route because it's devastating to the economy. | ||
| You've got to give people the ability to make their own decisions. | ||
| Yeah, and I like when people are revolting against it. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| There's something about that I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. | ||
| And where they're revolting is all the Republican areas. | ||
| And it makes sense! | ||
| It's all Newport Beach, Huntington. | ||
| But it also makes sense. | ||
| Oh, you're talking about the areas he wanted to shut down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he did shut down. | |
| Is that not weird? | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| San Diego, you guys, Ventura, stay open. | ||
| Democrat, Democrat. | ||
| But Republican Beach is shut down. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing, dude? | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| And then those people at this beach went, not happening. | ||
| Why do you think he did that? | ||
| You think he did that politically because they are a Republican town? | ||
| Why else would you do it? | ||
| That's so gross if that's what he did. | ||
| It's just disgusting. | ||
| Politics are disgusting in general. | ||
| It is really a foul, greasy business. | ||
| The most foul, man. | ||
| It's so greasy. | ||
| Yeah, when we can read each other's minds, we won't need those cunts. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| We really won't. | ||
| There should be established rules that we all follow. | ||
| What you need is you need the military. | ||
| You need someone to watch over the military to see that they don't fucking go out of control and try to take over like China. | ||
| Dude, you've always said it best. | ||
| You need a committee. | ||
| Put Elon Musk on that fucking committee. | ||
| I need a guy who can read stats. | ||
| Put Elon on there. | ||
| You need a large group of people, not one person, and they need to have exhibited the fact that they're objective and reasonable and ethical and moral. | ||
| You can't just have a popularity contest. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's just too stupid. | ||
| Yeah, if there was going to be an uprising and cases, and if they shut down again, I would probably have to leave. | ||
| Where would you go? | ||
| Would you go to Texas? | ||
| I think all of us should talk. | ||
| I think all of us should talk. | ||
| Everybody has money. | ||
| We should all talk, go to one place, and go to that comedy club and fucking rock that house every fucking night. | ||
| That would be crazy. | ||
| And we still all do podcasting. | ||
| We're guests on each other's shows. | ||
| I'm down. | ||
| I'm 100% down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let me check with Callan. | ||
| Yeah, he's down. | ||
| If there's an earthquake, that's when everyone's really going to understand that we're in a bad spot. | ||
| Yeah, well, taxes should help you understand you're in a bad spot. | ||
| Dude, the taxes are insane. | ||
| They are crazy. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| But you get what you pay for. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's when so many people moved to Nevada. | ||
| You know, Nevada gets 60,000 people a year from California. | ||
| Yeah, Denver got a shitload of them too. | ||
| 60,000 is a large number. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a lot. | |
| 60,000 people moving into Nevada every year. | ||
| Dana and I were talking about the political atmosphere of Nevada and that their governor is Democrat and a lot of the reasons why. | ||
| They used to be really a red state and they're not anymore and a lot of reasons why are all the people that are pumping in from California. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, but they don't have state taxes so it's a great place if you're trying to save some money. | ||
| Would you live in Nevada? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think I'd rather go to Texas or Florida without those state taxes. | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't mind Reno. | ||
| I wouldn't mind living in Tahoe, up in the mountains areas. | ||
| Yeah, I need mountains, dude. | ||
| Mountain biker. | ||
| But Vegas? | ||
| Vegas is tough. | ||
| I hate Vegas. | ||
| I want to live inside the devil's balls. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, we could perform there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I love your idea of doing residency in LA. You do it, not me. | ||
| You do it. | ||
| It's a brilliant idea. | ||
| That's the solution to travel. | ||
| Just tell people where I am. | ||
| You can do it, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a decent sized theater, like the Larga or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, something around 500 seats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every Friday? | |
| Every Friday? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Because think how many shows you do at the Comedy Store and at the Improv. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think how many, you go through the tickets, that's a lot of people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every week, dude. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Hey, who's not going to fly to LAC Rogue and do the Largo every Friday? | ||
| Yeah, I'm kind of already doing it, right? | ||
| You're doing it. | ||
| I'm already doing it at the Comedy Store and the Improv when everything was up and running. | ||
| But yeah, I would do something like that. | ||
| And it's not a bad idea. | ||
| And maybe do that and then tour occasionally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when I tour, I'm touring once a month. | ||
| But I have a lot of dates coming up. | ||
| Look, I have dates coming up in October, and I don't even know if I'm going to be able to do them. | ||
| Like I've got Madison Square Garden's almost sold out. | ||
| Boston Garden almost sold out. | ||
| You're doing Madison Square Garden. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| I bet you are. | ||
| October 3rd? | ||
| I bet you are. | ||
| Bro, it's 18,000 people. | ||
| If you've got 18,000 people, what are the rules? | ||
| Do you have to have only 9,000 people? | ||
| Everybody is like... | ||
| Ray Romano used to have the I'm not a homo joke about going to the theater with your buddy. | ||
| You have to have a seat in between the two of you. | ||
| The I'm not a homo seat. | ||
| But think how fast, you know, we talk all this shit about opening up, but think how fast things are moving now. | ||
| Think about July when the summer's popping. | ||
| Yeah, but New York City's real bad. | ||
| New York's bad. | ||
| And you know the other thing about New York? | ||
| It's on the decline, though. | ||
| Yeah, it is on the decline. | ||
| But I'm worried about New York in terms of people moving out of New York. | ||
| I think people are going to realize how preposterous it is to be stacked on top of each other. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| If you haven't figured it out yet, I mean, come on, man. | ||
| This is going to be a big wake-up call for them. | ||
| You said it's in October? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Think about New York in August, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Things are going to be booming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope. | |
| Trump's going to be pumping fucking money. | ||
| That's three months from now, though. | ||
| Yeah, that's three months. | ||
| This shit just started two months ago. | ||
| But think how fast it's rolling, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Things are kind of rolling. | ||
| They're rolling now. | ||
| For the last month and a half, it's been stagnant. | ||
| But states are ahead of us. | ||
| Remember, Newsom's a goddamn cocksucker, so he's holding things back. | ||
| But if a bunch of people start dropping like flies in two weeks in Atlanta, we're going to have a real problem. | ||
| Then you should cancel all your shows. | ||
| If Spokane gets one more death, your boy's probably not coming up there. | ||
| There's going to be places we're going to be allowed to go, for sure. | ||
| I get messages every day, dude, Spokane, ticket sales, but I'm like, I haven't even promoted it. | ||
| I haven't even started promoting it because I'm like, I don't know, man. | ||
| It's going to be our first Thick Boys Bike Club get-together that Saturday morning. | ||
| So you're going to do that every time you do it? | ||
| Every city I go to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You don't think you're going to get bored with this biking shit? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| I'm obsessed with it. | ||
| But there's got to be some places that don't even have bike trails. | ||
| Well, like Florida, probably going to pass. | ||
| You're going to get bit by an alligator. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| New Orleans, probably pass. | ||
| See that dopey lady in, was it Louisiana? | ||
| She got bit by an alligator. | ||
| She was trying to take a picture with it. | ||
| She's like, get closer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| For the gram? | ||
| I'm going to get closer to him. | ||
| And the alligator ate her. | ||
| It just ate her? | ||
| It's on camera? | ||
| I don't think it's on camera. | ||
| I can't get enough of that. | ||
| It's on camera, but it's pretty rare that an alligator attacks and kills a person. | ||
| People think I'm closer to those rattlesnakes when I post a picture of them, or the video of them, but I zoom in. | ||
| My bike's always between me and the rattlesnake, usually. | ||
| He's just run over his head, flatten it out, hold onto it. | ||
| Yeah, but then someone sent me a video of a guy running over one, and even though he ran over it, it was so big, it turned back and bit his fucking calf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Even though it was like, ah! | ||
| Bit his ass. | ||
| Oh, I could see that happen. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some boys are thick. | ||
| They flex all that muscle. | ||
| Well, he probably tried to be a pussy and run over the back of it. | ||
| You gotta go head first. | ||
| Run over that fucking head. | ||
| Crush his fucking head. | ||
| It's weird how dark they are, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, man. | |
| They're a dangerous creature. | ||
| Have you ever seen one dragon a rabbit? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| They're monsters. | ||
| My kid thinks it's faster than them. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's a night. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| Like four? | ||
| He's four. | ||
| And I'm the fastest boy in the world. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| You keep saying that, man. | ||
| And he is. | ||
| He's the fastest four-year-old you've ever seen. | ||
| But four-year-olds aren't rattlesnakes, dude. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| He's these big old calves he got from his mama. | ||
| He's all shredded. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Fast boy in the world. | ||
| All right, man. | ||
| Some kids are just jacked when they're young and you realize that life isn't fair. | ||
| You look at some kids and they look like they're literally made out of marshmallows. | ||
| Like marshmallows covered by a thin... | ||
| It's a bummer. | ||
| Thin skin. | ||
| It's a bummer. | ||
| Like, did you see that five-year-old that stole the car to go buy a Lamborghini? | ||
| What? | ||
| This five-year-old stole the car. | ||
| And when you see him, you're like, well, that's the biggest five-year-old in the world. | ||
| He's probably, I don't know, 100. He's so fat. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| They put a weird thing over his face. | ||
| Oh, so you can't see him. | ||
| But there's video of his family talking. | ||
| They're all thick as fuck. | ||
| And he stole this car because his mom told me he can't have a Lamborghini. | ||
| Five-year-old driving an SUV on a Utah freeway. | ||
| And then he goes, I'm going to California to buy a Lamborghini. | ||
| And they go, how much money do you have? | ||
| He goes, I have $3 in my wallet. | ||
| So look at this. | ||
| They spotted the vehicle driving 35 miles an hour and swerving. | ||
| This five-year-old is just driving on the highway. | ||
| What a confident kid. | ||
| He pulled over. | ||
| And not bad. | ||
| And not bad for a five-year-old. | ||
| And he's got his foot on the brakes. | ||
| Just how crazy is it? | ||
| How old are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Five. | |
| You're five years old. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| His sister fell asleep while she was babysitting him. | ||
| So he just stole a car. | ||
| Yeah, because I guess before his mom left to work, he's like, can I have a Lamborghini? | ||
| She's like, wait, are you at your fucking mind? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's like, I had three dollars with him, and he was going to buy a Lamborghini. | ||
| This is like a Will Ferrell movie. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| But not bad for a five-year-old. | ||
| Did you see that big baby, too, that meme that was going around with this gigantic baby? | ||
| It's about three years old, I think. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Guy looks creepy as shit. | ||
| That's like an adult pretending to be a baby. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird kid. | ||
| God damn, that kid is thick. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Giant baby. | ||
| Those giant babies, it never really ends well for them, does it? | ||
| It doesn't end well for giants. | ||
| Mom of Big Baby tells haters he's actually healthy. | ||
| We started going around during the NFL draft. | ||
| They were just like, this is the next NFL line. | ||
| He might be a giant. | ||
| He might be. | ||
| Did you see all that shit where Adele was getting crap for losing weight? | ||
| People were mad at her. | ||
| Who was getting her shit for losing weight? | ||
| Fat girls. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| How dare you, girl? | ||
| You used to be a representative of us fat fucks. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| Plus size models. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| They're saying that this shouldn't define beauty standards and that losing weight and being thin shouldn't be what we look to for beauty standards. | ||
| You know how crazy that is? | ||
| You know how fucking crazy that is? | ||
| You mean Adele got healthy and you fat fucks want to stuff your face with pizza and get COVID and blame it on us? | ||
| They also want to pretend they're still beautiful. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Even though they're thick. | ||
| Yeah, some chubby chasers like that. | ||
| Thick and sloppy. | ||
| Ah, fuck, dude. | ||
| Hating on Adele for being disciplined, finally getting her shit together, quitting fish and chips? | ||
| I want that plus-size model thing to carry over to men. | ||
| I'm waiting for men to decide that these abs and six-packs and ripped muscles and this is... | ||
| You can't define beauty standards. | ||
| This is how good I look. | ||
| I look good with a gut. | ||
| I don't think that's ever going to happen. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| Not only that, there'd be no support. | ||
| There'd be no, you go, boy. | ||
| Start that club. | ||
| There's a lot of fat girls that get, you go, girl. | ||
| You are beautiful. | ||
| You're beautiful. | ||
| You're so courageous. | ||
| You're so brave. | ||
| You're so amazing. | ||
| Don't worry. | ||
| Guys aren't like that. | ||
| They're wrong. | ||
| They're wrong. | ||
| Guys aren't like that. | ||
| The way they're picking on you. | ||
| Yeah, that's Thor from Marvel Comics when he drank a lot of beer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He lost that way real quick in that scene, though. | ||
| Remember? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| A couple scenes later, he's thin again. | ||
| Did you see that new movie he was in? | ||
| On Netflix? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| Andy Stump said it fucking sucked, and he said it's so unrealistic, because, you know, Andy's a legitimate seal. | ||
| He said it's 100% horseshit. | ||
| Although Andy likes Fast and Furious. | ||
| Yeah, he gets shot and lives through it. | ||
| But you like Fast and Furious, Andy? | ||
| He's on a street... | ||
| Racecar driver. | ||
| Yeah, but that's shit. | ||
| Yeah, they're jumping R8 from building to building, Andy. | ||
| And then you got The Rock holding the helicopter by a chain. | ||
| But then this isn't real? | ||
| That's why you don't enjoy it? | ||
| What's his business? | ||
| Oh, come on, dude. | ||
| I get it a little bit. | ||
| I'll watch fight movies and I'll get the fuck. | ||
| Yeah, like if we saw Warrior. | ||
| Watch Rocky. | ||
| How about Warrior? | ||
| That stupid movie that Callum was in? | ||
| Did they fight two days in a row? | ||
| I don't want to watch it. | ||
| It makes you mad. | ||
| When they fight two days in a row, I'm like, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| That would never happen. | ||
| Do you ever talk to a guy a day after he had a fucking cage fight? | ||
| Your head looks like a watermelon. | ||
| Everything's sore. | ||
| You barely can walk. | ||
| The idea that you're going to fight two days in a row is so stupid. | ||
| That's Hollywood shit. | ||
| It's such Hollywood shit. | ||
| They think they're smarter than everybody. | ||
| They're going to rewrite things for dramatic effects. | ||
| That's what happened with Uncut Gems you were talking about earlier. | ||
| There's like three big plot points. | ||
| Don't choose spoiler alert! | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
| Three big plot points that people say aren't real? | ||
| Please don't ruin it for me. | ||
| I'm gonna watch it. | ||
| Please. | ||
| It's still a great movie. | ||
| Please stop. | ||
| Please. | ||
| It's a fantastic movie. | ||
| Don't ruin it. | ||
| Joe, I know you hate other sports. | ||
| You gotta watch The Last Dance on ESPN. Jamie was talking about that too. | ||
| I know you don't like sports. | ||
| I would definitely watch it. | ||
| Because it doesn't really get into the X's and O's of basketball. | ||
| Just from a sheer greatness of Michael Jordan. | ||
| You're like, holy fuck, dude. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah, he was a madman. | ||
| He was a madman. | ||
| Straight up madman. | ||
| Punched Steve Kerr in the face. | ||
| Gambling addict. | ||
| Just, you know, when they're in the Olympics, you know, they're practicing, and all the best guys were on one team. | ||
| He was on one team with, like, the B-side, and they got up by six, and someone talked shit to him. | ||
| He's like, excuse me? | ||
| And then took over. | ||
| And they're like, holy fuck. | ||
| But they said he was nasty about it. | ||
| Like, he's just the ultimate winner. | ||
| You watch that, you're like, gee, this is insane, dude. | ||
| And then just the pressure. | ||
| He hated the negative. | ||
| Because he came out he was a gambling guy. | ||
| And so all the negativity he got. | ||
| And one of the reasons he retired from that negativity. | ||
| You're like, oh dude, if you thought that was negative. | ||
| Think about the players now dealing with social media. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's one of the reasons why people respect LeBron James so much in comparison. | ||
| I mean, he's dealing with the worst aspects of social media. | ||
| Think about John Jones. | ||
| Think about all the shit John gets. | ||
| He brings it on himself. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck! | ||
| He'll get arrested, right? | ||
| Whatever gun he's shooting and he's like hanging out with bums at four in the morning. | ||
| Next day, what's up everybody? | ||
| Shooting arrows. | ||
| Don't give a fuck. | ||
| CMA, whatever his fight is. | ||
| It's like, alright dude. | ||
| Well he definitely bounces back easy. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Like some people get devastated by bad press. | ||
| Some people just let it roll right off their back. | ||
| John's a roll right off their back guy. | ||
| What else are you gonna do? | ||
| Lay down? | ||
| Because he's the creator of this madness, but he's still just like, yeah, dude, all right. | ||
| Yeah, well, he's a risk taker. | ||
| That's why he's such a great fighter. | ||
| And when you're a risk taker, you fuck up. | ||
| Make mistakes. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| I mean, that's part of what it is. | ||
| I mean, I always point to the fact that the guy opened up that fight with Shogun, youngest guy ever to win the title, opens up with a flying knee against a legend. | ||
| Who does that? | ||
| Well, I'll tell you what, not as nuts, but what is crazy is when you're fighting Marco Kokop on the same card, I open up with a head kick. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And Mirko went like this and smiled at me. | ||
| He was like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I was like, yeah, you're right. | ||
| That's disrespectful. | ||
| Well, you won, though. | ||
| Yeah, I did win. | ||
| Shout out to Mirko. | ||
| You knocked him out. | ||
| It's a big win. | ||
| Yeah, my biggest win. | ||
| Am I crazy to think Dominic Cruz can beat Henry Cejudo in decision? | ||
| Dominic Cruz is a legitimate bantamweight. | ||
| Henry Cejudo beat Marlon Marais, but Marlon Marais, it seemed like kind of fell apart. | ||
| Got tired and fell apart. | ||
| He broke him. | ||
| Dominic Cruz, we haven't seen in a long time. | ||
| He doesn't get hit, really. | ||
| I mean, Cody Garbrandt fight, but... | ||
| Yeah, but he got real emotional with the Cody Garbrandt fight. | ||
| We don't know where he's at physically. | ||
| He just got off another surgery. | ||
| He's 36, 37 now, which is old for a 135 pound fighter. | ||
| Very old. | ||
| But, you know, this guy's a fucking... | ||
| His movement, dude. | ||
| He's a winner, man. | ||
| And Henry Cejudo starts slow. | ||
| I see him getting down in rounds to Dominic. | ||
| Dominic's impossible to hit, man. | ||
| And his movement is pretty substantial. | ||
| It's a big factor. | ||
| It's so weird, too. | ||
| It's awkward. | ||
| It's his wrestling style switching the feet. | ||
| If it's Dom in kind of that fashion, I don't know, man. | ||
| It's a tough fight for Henry Cejudo. | ||
| Well, Dominic Cruz is a tough fight for everybody. | ||
| He's not an easy fight for anybody. | ||
| And also, you know, I mean, he's got to realize there's not a whole lot more opportunities left. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| If he wins this one, there are. | ||
| But if he loses it, it's kind of like... | ||
| Yeah, if he loses it, it's over. | ||
| Just be an analyst for a little bit. | ||
| Well, he's great at that. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of the best. | ||
| Yeah, he's for sure one of my favorites. | ||
| My favorite's you, Anik, in D.C., though. | ||
| Well, me and DC have a fun time, man. | ||
| We get silly. | ||
| Well, DC's one of the guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| DC's like us. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| DC texted me the other day. | ||
| He's like one of the guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He gets silly. | ||
| He's getting mad waiting around for Stipe. | ||
| I think it's a disservice to DC. I love Stipe, and he has the ISU, and he's talking about, oh, I can't even get a cage. | ||
| Well, guys are figuring out. | ||
| It's like, dude, if you're not going to fight, then we've got to figure something out. | ||
| I think the UFC gave him some sort of an ultimatum. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| Oh, did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there was an article about it today where there's some sort of a discussion. | ||
| Well, what I don't want is Stipe to come back too soon when he's not ready and lose that fight and ruin a little bit of his legacy. | ||
| Dude, wait it out. | ||
| Get that eye. | ||
| Better let these guys do their thing when they come back. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if Stipe's ever going to be able to fight again. | ||
| Maybe he shouldn't. | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| Whatever he does, he's still great. | ||
| He got poked quite a bit that first fight. | ||
| I re-watched that first fight. | ||
| He got poked bad in the eyes. | ||
| The first fight with DC. I don't know if that's where the eye injury came from, but it could have been. | ||
| God, I don't see DC jumping onto bed to fight Francis. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I think if Stipe backs off and says, I'm done, you know, my eyes are too precious, I think DC retires. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| Unless they come up with some sort of wild 205-pound fight for him that allows him to make that cut again. | ||
| Dude, and then how long is Francis going to reign as the champion? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| And then John goes up there. | ||
| What if Rosenstreich wins? | ||
| Yeah, you're talking malarkey right now. | ||
| Am I? No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| What do you think the odds are? | ||
| He could easily. | ||
| What do you think the odds of that fight are? | ||
| I would say 3-1. | ||
| 3-1. | ||
| Because they're basing off the Overeem fight, which is a bad idea to do in the first place. | ||
| But remember, they set lines to get movement. | ||
| They want you to bet on them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say 3-1. | ||
| Because they're basing off the Overeem fight. | ||
| But you're talking about two different game plans. | ||
| Which, MMA math and MMA betting is insane. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| You have no idea what that guy's feeling that night. | ||
| Like Cerrone, to the point, we all, I think, in the media, especially MMA media, we all went 2-1? | ||
| 2-1. | ||
| 3-1 underdog and a 3-1 favorite. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| 3-1. | ||
| Minus 275. There you go. | ||
| We all went pretty hard on Stephen A. Smith. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Like, you went hard on him, I went hard on him. | ||
| We were like, dude, shut the fuck up. | ||
| What are you talking about with Don Cerrone? | ||
| And then Donald comes out and is like, just wasn't there that night. | ||
| Yeah, but he always says that when he loses. | ||
| You know, I think Donald gets real nervous. | ||
| It's always been an issue for him, though. | ||
| It was a big event. | ||
| And I think the overwhelming pressure of those big events, it was bad in the Pettis fight, it's bad in the Rafael dos Santos fight. | ||
| Right, when he gets to that next caliber. | ||
| Yeah, he gets to the tippity-tippity top where it's the chance of a lifetime. | ||
| So was Stephen A. Smith right? | ||
| No, because he didn't quit. | ||
| He got fucked up. | ||
| I mean, it wasn't... | ||
| Did he say quit? | ||
| Cowboy was nervous as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought he said he didn't show up. | ||
| Which is a fair assessment. | ||
| Even though he's not from the sport, which is insane to say, but he's a hot take guy. | ||
| So him saying he didn't show up, it's like, and then Cowboy goes, I didn't show up, like, alright, little... | ||
| And he asked for an apology from everybody in the MMA community. | ||
| It's the way... | ||
| Stephen A. Smith did? | ||
| Please. | ||
| It's the way he said it. | ||
| It's the disrespect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're not from the sport. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's talking about it the same way you would talk about someone who misses a free throw. | ||
| It's not the same thing. | ||
| He has connotation. | ||
| It didn't vibe well with the actual fight fans. | ||
| But they brought him in to do Stephen A. Smith stuff. | ||
| That's why he's famous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does hot takes, dude. | |
| That's what he does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's why he's popular, because he makes those bold statements. | ||
| So he makes $9 million a year from ESPN or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's why. | ||
| Then he comes over to our sport, it's the same thing. | ||
| He was like, how dare you? | ||
| This sport, it requires a different perspective. | ||
| Also, it's a sport that they know if you're a real fan. | ||
| They don't want regular sports guys jumping over here. | ||
| You can be a regular sports guy, but you've got to be a real fan of the actual sport. | ||
| You've got to be pretty hardcore to get in the game. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they prefer because there's enough people out there that are talking about it on a regular basis that are hardcore fans of it that are really good of it, like Luke Thomas. | ||
| Guys that are hardcore fans of it, but that have... | ||
| Real objective takes where they're analyzing it from a perspective of knowledge. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| I love Luke, right? | ||
| He's part of the Showtime family. | ||
| I love Luke. | ||
| I love his YouTube show. | ||
| He's one of my favorites. | ||
| Yeah, it's very good. | ||
| Luke knows this. | ||
| I love Luke. | ||
| Me and Luke do a show before big fights. | ||
| We didn't do it this time. | ||
| But he's on such the other spectrum when it comes to COVID. He's so terrified. | ||
| I think it's the worst thing ever. | ||
| We shut down everything. | ||
| And obviously, I'm all the way the fuck over here. | ||
| So we did the show before. | ||
| I'm like, dude, let's not do the COVID thing. | ||
| But you can't help but pop up. | ||
| So it was just one of those things. | ||
| What does he think? | ||
| He just thinks it's like the UFC having a fight is insane. | ||
| I don't know where he's at now. | ||
| I don't want to misquote him. | ||
| I know before when they were going to put the one on California, he was like, absolutely not. | ||
| Any other sport would be shit on, but the MMA media doesn't care. | ||
| The media doesn't care about the UFC. They shouldn't be doing this. | ||
| I think they should be doing it. | ||
| I think they should have had the fight in California if Newsom's bitch ass didn't come in and stop it. | ||
| But with precautions, why is it such a big deal? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't want to misquote Luke. | ||
| But they're testing everybody. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Let me tell you what happened to me. | ||
| I had to get a nose swab, which is weird, man. | ||
| That doesn't feel good at all. | ||
| Terrible having one in your nose. | ||
| They dig around there and then they pull it out. | ||
| It gets way up to the top of your nose. | ||
| It feels weird because it's irritating, but it stays irritating for a long time. | ||
| It stays irritating for like 15 minutes after it's over. | ||
| Is that better than the prick? | ||
| Oh, the prick's nothing. | ||
| You don't even feel the prick. | ||
| I did the prick, but is it the testing better? | ||
| No, it's active. | ||
| It's the active bacteria, the active virus, rather. | ||
| Whereas the other one is just testing the antibodies. | ||
| And the other one, they can tell whether or not you have a current infection or you recovered from an infection. | ||
| But this is like, are you sick with it right now? | ||
| So I did that, and it was negative. | ||
| My antibodies were negative. | ||
| Everything's negative. | ||
| I don't have it. | ||
| But... | ||
| You could do that with everybody. | ||
| And the U.S.C. is doing that, though. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is the thing. | ||
| It's not like these tests are hard to get anymore, right? | ||
| There was a point in time in the beginning of this outbreak two months ago where it was very difficult to get these tests. | ||
| Now it's not. | ||
| You get these tests, you get the results back fairly quickly, very quickly, 15 minutes with the antibody test. | ||
| It takes a day or so with the no swab. | ||
| You can test everybody. | ||
| So you test everybody. | ||
| Why is that hard? | ||
| If everybody's negative, let them fight. | ||
| If you're talking about healthy people, the idea that that's irresponsible is foolishness. | ||
| It's not even irresponsible to let them play basketball. | ||
| Because even if they had the COVID, these fucking guys aren't even showing any symptoms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Dude, how about baseball? | ||
| Them motherfuckers are... | ||
| You know how far apart baseball players are? | ||
| So far! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get back to work, MLB! You know how far away they are from each other? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Get back to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Listen, it's not what everybody thought it was going to be. | ||
| Everybody thought it was going to be like the Spanish flu or the fucking Black Plague. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| That's what we thought. | ||
| How about Dana said reporters called in and complained to the Newsom, to the government, and that's why he got shut down. | ||
| Reporters. | ||
| That's the word. | ||
| And he has a list. | ||
| Am I right on that, Jamie? | ||
| I heard that. | ||
| I'll sort of double check the quote. | ||
| These fucking haters were like, how can you do this? | ||
| And called in, and then Newsom was like, how can we do this? | ||
| And then that's why it got stopped. | ||
| So that's why he said the pussy media, you know? | ||
| I'd love to hear that list. | ||
| I wonder, see, but the perspective of the people back then, a month ago, was different. | ||
| The public's perspective, the information, the more the information comes in, the better things look. | ||
| You know, the worse it looks if someone in your family died or your grandma died or something. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| But the more the data comes in, the more it looks like it's not nearly as deadly. | ||
| You gotta open your eyes. | ||
| You gotta be willing to take the information in, though. | ||
| As many as 70% of the people that get it are asymptomatic, which is just bonkers, right? | ||
| And then with young, healthy people, it's off the charts. | ||
| But just people in general, there's something that's like 98.7? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like people that are just fine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's a weird disease. | ||
| I'm going to take my chances. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm pretty sure Dana was saying he has the list of those fucks who called in. | ||
| And what's he going to do about that? | ||
| Probably say I'm on fire. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Whatever he does with people. | ||
| He's making a list. | ||
| Probably block him on Instagram. | ||
| I can't believe he blocked me. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| I'll try to talk to him this weekend. | ||
| Come on, don't block me, baby. | ||
| I got a request. | ||
| I'm selling pay-per-views over here like a motherfucker for you, man. | ||
| I know you are, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, but the thing is, they can't control you. | ||
| You're too independent. | ||
| I know, but it's a good thing. | ||
| I know, but the show especially... | ||
| See, when you and him started Tangling, your show was not nearly as successful as it is now, which is really kind of funny. | ||
| Because if he had just buried a hatchet with you back then, you'd be an ally. | ||
| It'd be helpful. | ||
| He could come on the show. | ||
| You guys could all pump up the pay-per-view. | ||
| It'd be great for everybody. | ||
| But you guys are getting millions of views. | ||
| It's a different world now. | ||
| Like, now the show is bigger than anything that's on ESPN. By far. | ||
| Bigger than anything UFC has. | ||
| Combine all their shows. | ||
| I beat all of them. | ||
| And yet I still ride or die for them. | ||
| Give your boy a boat over here, man. | ||
| We're going to be friends again! | ||
| And the show keeps growing. | ||
| That's what's even crazier. | ||
| See, when you don't have a connection to a network, like, it's basically a meritocracy. | ||
| Like, if the show's good, people tune in. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the more people tune in, the more fun, the more they like it, the more they enjoy it, the bigger it gets. | ||
| The more realness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's not overproduced and someone's in your ear and you've got an agenda. | ||
| Someone's censoring you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Someone's holding you back and slowing you down. | ||
| Take it easy, Shob. | ||
| You've got to stop calling girls bitches. | ||
| You've got to... | ||
| But I mean in a good way! | ||
| She's a bad bitch! | ||
| I know, it's a bad bitch. | ||
| Die in peace, can't say it. | ||
| Speaking of which, is Rachel Ostovich going to fight Paige Van Zandt? | ||
| How many people are going to be watching that fight with their pants off? | ||
| And jacking off this guy. | ||
| That's going to be the most pants-off watched fight ever. | ||
| Yeah, and they're talking about it too. | ||
| Like Paige had it on her that it's going to be the hottest fight ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The two of them together. | ||
| I'm so into it. | ||
| And Rachel Ostovich is wearing a fucking fur coat in the stare down. | ||
| Just two diamonds. | ||
| Dying pieces. | ||
| Make that a pay-per-view main event. | ||
| I don't want Paige to lose any weight though. | ||
| When she's all thick like that, she looks so much better. | ||
| Oh, she looks so good. | ||
| She looks so much healthier. | ||
| Did you see her husband? | ||
| Dude, he tapped out Boogeyman! | ||
| I was super impressed. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| I sent him a message on Instagram. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Not only that, his fucking explosive takedown defense, or his submission defense was insane. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| The way he exploded out of things, I was very impressed. | ||
| That was Jail Solomon's thing, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Very impressed with his submission, though. | ||
| The fact that he caught... | ||
| Look, Boogeyman is a real, legit... | ||
| Tip of the spare, dude. | ||
| Tenth Planet Jiu Jitsu, black belt, international competitor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's all he does. | |
| Tapped out Sakuraba. | ||
| Yeah, that's all he does, though. | ||
| That's his profession. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Austin Vannaford's an MMA fighter, former wrestler. | ||
| But he's strong as fuck, man. | ||
| Posting Instagram pictures naked with his girl. | ||
| I was like, all right, let me go roll this dude up. | ||
| What a stud. | ||
| He's really strong, man. | ||
| The nicest guy in the world, too. | ||
| I bet he is. | ||
| The way he tapped him with that head and arm choke, too, he was in half guard. | ||
| He tapped quick, too. | ||
| It must have been a lot of pressure. | ||
| You know, Boogeyman's not going to tap off bullshit. | ||
| He's a gorilla, man. | ||
| He's so strong. | ||
| The way he threw him around, too, I was so impressed at how he got out of that arm bar. | ||
| The way he explodes out of stuff, like, really explosive. | ||
| Stud. | ||
| Really strong guy. | ||
| Stud. | ||
| But the clampdown on that head and arm choke, and apparently according to Chael, Chael's the one who's doing the commentary in the pay-per-view, he said that that's Austin's favorite submission. | ||
| It's a go-to. | ||
| Is it Submission Underground? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This shit was super underground. | ||
| Super. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Super. | |
| No one even knew it was happening. | ||
| We had no idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Seven people watched. | ||
| Did you see Vinny Magalais refusing to tap, though, and Craig Jones snapped his ankle? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| He broke his tibia. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| His tibia or his fibula? | ||
| One of his shin bones. | ||
| Popped his shit? | ||
| He broke. | ||
| Snapped it. | ||
| Too much pride. | ||
| But you could see the angle when he's got him in the heel hook, and you could see the angle that his leg is in, where all the pressure's on it, and then you see it go kind of sideways. | ||
| And you're like, that can't be good. | ||
| And apparently they were talking. | ||
| Well, they were talking. | ||
| I watched the match. | ||
| And Chael's like, what are they saying to each other? | ||
| But Vinny was saying, you broke my leg. | ||
| While they were still going. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He got it more than once, too. | ||
| What a fucking stud. | ||
| He grabbed that same leg more than once. | ||
| So he's grinding on it. | ||
| He's got this broken shin bone. | ||
| And then he's digging on it with another heel hook. | ||
| I wonder how many people watch that. | ||
| Four. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four. | |
| It was me and three other drunks. | ||
| Three degenerates. | ||
| I mean, it's on UFC Fight Pass. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| So he gets it. | ||
| And Craig Jones, by the way, one of the very best grapplers on the planet Earth. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And Vinny was like, I don't tap to heel hooks. | ||
| I don't tap to heel hooks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what he said. | |
| I don't tap to leg locks. | ||
| So, right there, he's standing up. | ||
| He got up slow. | ||
| He got up weird, too. | ||
| Like, his left leg is shot right there. | ||
| Watch again on Instagram. | ||
| So, he snapped that shit. | ||
| So, he's got it. | ||
| It's a terrible angle, too. | ||
| Like, look at that right there. | ||
| Oh, fuck, dude. | ||
| So, it's broken. | ||
| So, he broke the bottom of his shin. | ||
| And that's really dangerous, too, because when you get a break like that, you get infections, you could lose a leg. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| Vinny's such a stud. | ||
| Oh, he's an animal. | ||
| Vinny's an animal. | ||
| I mean, he's basically all waiting on his right leg, but his left leg's gone. | ||
| Think how much that dude's grown since Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| He got to the finals of that PFL million-dollar thing. | ||
| By the way, Rory went over to the PFL now, huh? | ||
| Kind of weird, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It must have made him a big offer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Didn't Vinny make it to the finals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Was it the finals? | ||
| Made it to the finals of the Ultimate Fighter, and he got knocked out by Ryan Bader. | ||
| Good call, dude. | ||
| And then he went over to that PFL thing, and he got knocked out by that dude that's a sports broadcaster. | ||
| He's a radio broadcaster. | ||
| Yeah, now he's doing that. | ||
| Sean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sean. | |
| He does the commercials for him, too. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| He fought in the UFC. Really tough guy. | ||
| Not Evans. | ||
| Find out... | ||
| PFL, light heavyweight, TKO'd him. | ||
| He TKO'd him in the finals. | ||
| But then he had success in PFL. He needed time. | ||
| The UFC, there's no time, dude. | ||
| He needed to learn how to really strike. | ||
| You know, he needed to really understand. | ||
| UFC's impossible if he can't strike. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| Especially these days, it's fucking impossible. | ||
| Sean O'Connell. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| He did fight in the UFC. Didn't go well for him either. | ||
| Shout out for him. | ||
| Shout out for him. | ||
| Well, tough guy. | ||
| Really fucking tough guy. | ||
| Didn't go bad for him in the UFC, but, you know, he's... | ||
| You know, he's another guy that's sort of developing on the job. | ||
| Dude, the UFC posted a clip. | ||
| They didn't tag me. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| They posted a clip from the Ultimate Fighter 10. I saw that, yeah. | ||
| Dude, I have so many good memories from that. | ||
| I've never watched it. | ||
| I haven't seen it since. | ||
| God, what a time. | ||
| What a fucking huge time for me, man. | ||
| Justin Wren with short hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Justin Wren. | ||
| He had Roy in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was nuts. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Such a good time. | ||
| I hope they still do the Ultimate Fighter, man. | ||
| They are gonna do it again. | ||
| Yeah, they've signed on. | ||
| Not with Styles, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| Just no. | ||
| He's so funny on Instagram. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I think it was Twitter when he said that. | ||
| In an interview I saw, he said, Dana said that the Ultimate Fighter is going to be at the Apex Center, along with the fourth fight in two weeks on the 23rd, which I don't think has been announced yet. | ||
| Dude, are we doing a fight campaign next week? | ||
| Oh, yeah, we should. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| What night? | ||
| Is it Saturday night? | ||
| Thursday and Saturday. | ||
| Thursday and Saturday? | ||
| Pick your poison, bros. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| 13th and 16th. | ||
| Let's see the cards. | ||
| Glover Teixeira and your boy, Anthony Smith. | ||
| Anthony Smith. | ||
| Ooh, I like that. | ||
| I love that fight. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Chael said that that's the guy who has the hardest time finding submission matches for, is Anthony Smith. | ||
| I'm like, that's weird. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, that's what he said. | ||
| Apparently, Anthony Smith's very, very good on the ground. | ||
| Glover Teixeira is fucking good on the ground. | ||
| Go back to that, please. | ||
| Oh, I was trying to get the card. | ||
| I've had to grapple with that. | ||
| Yeah, but just go back to what you got there. | ||
| Okay, so Walt Harris and Alistair Overeem. | ||
| That's Saturday. | ||
| Smith, Teixeira, and then... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Hey, why does it say Smith, Teixeira? | ||
| Wednesday, though. | ||
| The 13th. | ||
| I thought it was Thursday. | ||
| 13th and 16th. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Which one do you want to do, Joe? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Let's look at the cards. | ||
| So look at Smith, Teixeira. | ||
| They're all in Jacksonville. | ||
| Ben Rothwell and Ovin St. Prue. | ||
| Ovin St. Prue's going up to heavyweight, huh? | ||
| He's asking me so fat. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| PH fat. | ||
| Drew Dober, Alexander Hernandez. | ||
| I like that fight a lot. | ||
| Dude, Drew Dober is a guy that people... | ||
| He's a dog. | ||
| He's a fucking dog. | ||
| Denver kid. | ||
| He's an under-look guy. | ||
| He's a Denver kid now. | ||
| And I was super impressed with him in his last fight. | ||
| Alex Hernandez is no joke, man. | ||
| That's a tough fight for Drew. | ||
| Ray Borg and Ricky Simone. | ||
| Shout out to Ray Borg. | ||
| Ray Borg's going up to 35, huh? | ||
| Because Ricky Simone's a 35er, right? | ||
| Bantamweight. | ||
| Unless Ricky Simone is going down. | ||
| Is Ricky going down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's at Bantamweight. | |
| It is at Bantamweight. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Carl Roberson's another bad motherfucker. | ||
| Ooh, against Marvin Vittori. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| That's the Italian kid, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And Roberson's super talented, man. | ||
| Arlovsky. | ||
| How dare you put him on the pre-lens? | ||
| Who's Felipe Linz? | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
| They came to give him a pre-con. | ||
| They're on a photo of him. | ||
| Probably some fucking monster from Norway or some shit. | ||
| Who's Michael Johnson fighting? | ||
| Do you know that guy? | ||
| Tiago Moises? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| Soraya Eubanks. | ||
| Remember poor Soraya Eubanks? | ||
| She got the title shot, everyone shit on her, and then they took her off of it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brian Keller. | ||
| Yeah, they gave her a title shot, and everybody went, boo! | ||
| And they were like, alright. | ||
| The UFC said, alright, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. | ||
| Take it off. | ||
| Take it off. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So that's a decent card. | ||
| Is that the Wednesday card? | ||
| We can learn about QAnon. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| I can't let Eddie get drunk, though. | ||
| And spew some COVID shit? | ||
| So this is a better card. | ||
| This is a Saturday night card? | ||
| That's a much better card. | ||
| Okay, you got Chito Vera, Marlon Vera versus Sonia Dong. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| Scroll up, though. | ||
| Eric Yaboy, Anderson versus Christophe Jocto. | ||
| That's a very good fight, too. | ||
| Barboza versus Dan Ige. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I want to see what Barboza looks like at 45. And I do love that Claude Gigadalia-Angela Hill fight. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| Overeem and Walt Harris. | ||
| That should be fun. | ||
| It's a better card. | ||
| Alright, that's where we're going. | ||
| It's a fun card. | ||
| We'll see what else they got there. | ||
| And this is the rest. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Go to the top. | ||
| Anthony Hernandez versus Kevin Holland. | ||
| That's a very good fight. | ||
| Damn, Courtney Case in the long face. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Saturday nights it is. | ||
| Saturday night. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Fight companion. | ||
| Get the cigars. | ||
| Bring in the fucking QAnon robes. | ||
| What do they wear? | ||
| Call Gino. | ||
| Call Gino? | ||
| What should we get for Eddie? | ||
| You won't let him have any drinks. | ||
| I'm not opposed to him having a drink. | ||
| There's something that happens when he clicks over and he gets those shark eyes. | ||
| It's like three drinks in, he's gone. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| He takes over the show. | ||
| It's hilarious to it. | ||
| He doesn't listen. | ||
| No, he just powers through it, doesn't he? | ||
| Well, it's just drunk Eddie. | ||
| It's two Eddies. | ||
| Maybe just one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe weed and wine. | |
| I think wine's a good one with him. | ||
| No, that was... | ||
| Whiskey brings out the fucking devil in him. | ||
| Brings out the Indian that Joey Diaz says. | ||
| He ain't lying. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I don't think Joey Diaz would leave the house, but we should get him on one. | ||
| He's been here twice. | ||
| Oh, he will leave the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He's not scared of coronavirus. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he's not scared of it. | ||
| Love to see him. | ||
| Yeah, he's upset by all this, too, though. | ||
| He's ready to move. | ||
| Joey will move with us. | ||
| Joey's in. | ||
| I think Theo's in. | ||
| Where's Theo going? | ||
| Wherever we go, he's in. | ||
| Brian's in. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Callan's ready to go? | ||
| Callan'd go, for sure. | ||
| Callan won't even leave Venice. | ||
| He's had a homeless invasion. | ||
| There's zombies on his street. | ||
| If we all leave, he has no one. | ||
| He'll go with us. | ||
| Especially if I go find the kids coming over here. | ||
| What do you think about Utah? | ||
| I like Utah. | ||
| I'll just come here in the summers. | ||
| It's not a bad move. | ||
| Or in the winters, sorry. | ||
| Not a bad move. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Not a bad move at all. | ||
| Utah's dope. | ||
| Good trails up there. | ||
| Mountain biking. | ||
| I bet the laws are better. | ||
| I bet they're a little looser with things. | ||
| Everyone's pretty cool over there. | ||
| It also has the stigma. | ||
| They've already had one cult go there. | ||
| I think Burt will roll with us. | ||
| Burt will go. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I think Burt likes California. | ||
| Burt likes to stay Hollywood, but he likes to lie about it. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| He's pretty Hollywood. | ||
| But if we lock down again, you'd be not so Hollywood, dude. | ||
| Bro, I'm on some fucking text messages where they are shitting on Jerry Seinfeld's special. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woof! | |
| Oh, really? | ||
| Woof! | ||
| The first clip they posted was no bueno. | ||
| Some text message chains that I'm involved in with comics. | ||
| Like, woof! | ||
| I saw one said, your special's been on Jerry Seinfeld's. | ||
| I went, this thing must be terrible. | ||
| He looks uncomfortable. | ||
| It looks like he's uncomfortable. | ||
| It's not bad in the sense that. | ||
| But he's been doing old material for so long. | ||
| Part of his whole thing was he would do specials, but he would do specials with old material. | ||
| He doesn't believe in switching an hour all the time. | ||
| This is a new hour, though. | ||
| This is a whole new hour. | ||
| Yeah, but he's probably been running it for 19 years. | ||
| Because his old specials were of his old material. | ||
| He's like, new special of my old material, that special I've done before. | ||
| I was like, hey dude! | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| And I love Jerry. | ||
| He's the biggest Porsche guy. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| The biggest Porsche guy. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| He owns like hundreds of Porsches. | ||
| He's the Porsche guy. | ||
| If you go to Malibu, the market there, him and his boy Spike are out there all the time. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| And they do a podcast of just Porsches out there. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just Porsche podcast? | ||
| Just Porsches. | ||
| Sounds like a bad idea. | ||
| Comics love when other comics have questionable specials. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| I don't think I've ever heard a comic go, dude, have you seen this special? | ||
| Besides like Chappelle. | ||
| Every comic wants to go, dude, oh, that's terrible. | ||
| I'm like, oh, come on, dude. | ||
| There's a lot of comics that enjoy when someone, especially someone that's not in their circle, has a bad special. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I had this talk with Delia. | ||
| I think one of the reasons his special was like the number three most watched thing in America. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| If you get tore right now, you're talking about a different level. | ||
| And I think one of the reasons he gets hate is his demo is similar to mine. | ||
| It's 18 to 36 males. | ||
| And that's where you're going to get a lot of hate, man. | ||
| Those are the guys on the internet. | ||
| So for him, I was like, dude, I know you're coming out special. | ||
| It's going to be great, whatever happens. | ||
| But just know, your demo is young, dude. | ||
| So the haters are going to come out, man. | ||
| Brace yourself. | ||
| But that thing was a huge success. | ||
| Did the haters come out for him? | ||
| I haven't looked, I'm sure. | ||
| But I don't think he gives a flying fuck in his mansion in Bel Air, you know? | ||
| I think everybody cares. | ||
| You told me this from the get-go. | ||
| You cannot read that stuff, dude. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| It's damn near impossible, but you have to. | ||
| I had someone run my account when my Switch came in. | ||
| I don't want to deal with any of it. | ||
| Just keep moving. | ||
| You keep moving, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know when things are good and you know when things are not good. | ||
| Just when things are bad, use that as fuel to make the next things better and keep moving. | ||
| You know in here, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know in here. | ||
| You know. | ||
| I don't need people to tell me. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And then you go on the road. | ||
| And then you get better. | ||
| And you get better. | ||
| And you get better. | ||
| And that's what you do. | ||
| I want to see what people do when this is over. | ||
| What it's going to be like watching someone's first set in three months. | ||
| It's going to be like running in mud. | ||
| Everybody's going to be clunky as fuck. | ||
| Except for Tim Dillon. | ||
| It's not going to be like, yeah, Tim's like, he's basically doing stand-up with his rants. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| I loved him. | ||
| I loved him too. | ||
| I think that it's going to be interesting because everyone is going to be stale. | ||
| It's not, or flat. | ||
| It's not going to be like most, like, if you go to the store and you're on the lineup and you haven't done stand-up in three months, everybody else is doing it every night. | ||
| And it's going to show. | ||
| Yeah, it'll show. | ||
| But for the audience, there'll be a contrast. | ||
| This way, there's not going to really be a contrast. | ||
| It's going to be everyone seems slow and clunky. | ||
| I bet people are going to be gung-ho to see the first day back. | ||
| Can you imagine walking down the hallway? | ||
| We're going to be hugging each other. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| I can't wait for the first day back. | ||
| I mean, when the first day opens, when the comedy store opens, if I'm home that day, I'm on stage. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And also, I want to give all the money to the waiters and the waitresses. | ||
| 100%? | ||
| 100% of the money to the wait staff. | ||
| I was giving my money anyways. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean... | ||
| You mean the whole door. | ||
| I think they... | ||
| I'll give it to them. | ||
| I'll sell out shows and give it to them. | ||
| Those fucking people didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| They always work real hard. | ||
| Oh, they're the best. | ||
| And they got fucked over. | ||
| The bastard. | ||
| They got fucked over by this thing, because they're the people that are really paycheck to paycheck, and then this thing just dries up on them. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| I think every comic, I think people at the Comedy Store, and comics on the road, and everything, it's just gonna make us appreciate it so much more, and you have such a more respect for it, and I take it for granted. | ||
| I think there's light at the end of the tunnel for everybody, man. | ||
| I hope so, but this fucking governor needs to open this shit up, let people take their own chances. | ||
| Let people decide. | ||
| They know what it is now. | ||
| Dude, when they gave me a ticket on my fucking bike in the middle of nowhere, I was listening to Rage Against the Machine. | ||
| I wanted to fucking start a protest at Governor Newsom's house. | ||
| I was this close to fucking organizing one for a $60 ticket. | ||
| They're going crazy now in, like, Huntington Beach and Newport and all those places where they're protesting. | ||
| And I love it. | ||
| There's a hilarious video. | ||
| On the video, the guy goes, Bill Gates is the devil! | ||
| I love that video! | ||
| He's saying all these things that seem like they kind of make sense, and then he goes, Bill Gates is the devil! | ||
| And I'm like, that, okay... | ||
| You lost everybody at Bill Gates the devil. | ||
| Well, kind of. | ||
| Is he, though? | ||
| I don't know if he's the devil, but he's a little over... | ||
| He has too much of an interest in vaccines. | ||
| Yeah, financial interest. | ||
| How much money do you need, dude? | ||
| How much money do you need? | ||
| Get the fuck out, man. | ||
| Because you and I had obviously a friendly bet, and you were like, I hope you're right. | ||
| Because when Governor Newsom went, beaches are closed, and then we have this text chain with you, me, and Cal and Eddie, and I go, dude, I'm telling you, people aren't going to put up with it. | ||
| I said, I guarantee you 10,000 plus show up. | ||
| You went, all right, let's bet. | ||
| I went, let's bet. | ||
| Friendly bet. | ||
| I think you won. | ||
| I won. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I won. | ||
| Yeah, it's over, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, okay, I owe you a hundred bucks. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| But I think that, you know, I think that we need more of those protests for things to really change. | ||
| You know, for him to... | ||
| It's our right! | ||
| They keep saying, like, apparently they're suing the governor of Michigan. | ||
| And Illinois. | ||
| Illinois as well? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Michigan, that lady, she's trying to extend everything. | ||
| And then did you see in... | ||
| I think it was Texas... | ||
| They go, we're going to start fining people for this, this, and this. | ||
| Or maybe it was California. | ||
| But the sheriff who goes, we're not going to do that. | ||
| You guys got to do your thing. | ||
| We're not going to give people fines. | ||
| And the governor's like, all right, fuck. | ||
| It shows you really, if people really don't give a fuck, the government can't do shit. | ||
| It's real close to people turning on him because so many people are losing their jobs. | ||
| So many people are losing their businesses. | ||
| Look, there's methods to stay safe. | ||
| They know that you can be tested. | ||
| Everybody can get tested. | ||
| You can have a certificate that shows you've been tested. | ||
| And then you can go to a restaurant. | ||
| And not wear masks. | ||
| And not wear masks. | ||
| I'll walk around with a fucking t-shirt that says, I'm good. | ||
| Let me do that, dude. | ||
| Yeah, I'm good t-shirt. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Back off. | ||
| Back off. | ||
| Fat guy, security guard at the coffee place, back off, bro. | ||
| Put the mask on! | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| And then he went to the manager. | ||
| It was like this. | ||
| He pointed me out. | ||
| I'm like, ah, dude. | ||
| You're lucky I'm nice. | ||
| I don't know if it... | ||
| This didn't happen here. | ||
| I'm trying to remember the state because I just saw it last night. | ||
| But the people that were like... | ||
| They encouraged snitching or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There was a database that got leaked. | ||
| And people who snitched, their names got put out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| They're afraid that people are going to find out that they snitched. | ||
| That's what you get, dude. | ||
| That's what you get. | ||
| Snitches get stitches. | ||
| That's what you get, bitch. | ||
| People don't like that. | ||
| You know how insane that is? | ||
| That our fucking governor came out and said, snitch on these people? | ||
| It's on our governor. | ||
| It's the mayor, Mayor Garcetti. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Mayor of LA. But the thing is, it's not what we thought it was. | ||
| If it was killing people left and right, like some horrible plague... | ||
| And, you know, we really do have to stay in home and lock down because there's a demon out there, an invisible demon. | ||
| That's what we thought it was. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| It's not good, but it's not that. | ||
| Speaking of snitches get stitches, did... | ||
| Snitches get stitches. | ||
| Stitches don't get stitches. | ||
| Did Kim Jong-un fake his death? | ||
| Did we find out if that was true or not? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he did. | |
| He's healthy. | ||
| He's thriving. | ||
| As a matter of fact, he lost like six pounds. | ||
| To find out if people would tell and try to take his power, I think, is what I was reading. | ||
| Speaking of which... | ||
| He's done it before. | ||
| Do you remember Stitches, the rapper that had the big stupid tattoo on his face? | ||
| He's still out there. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| He's still selling cocaine and shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I mean, he's not as popular as he probably was three years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's not thriving. | |
| He can't do any shows right now, but... | ||
| I'm sure he's still in the drug game. | ||
| Yeah, I could look him up right now. | ||
| It was more than three years ago, right? | ||
| Takeshi's out too right now. | ||
| Takeshi's out talking shit. | ||
| He's going live tomorrow or today. | ||
| On Instagram? | ||
| Talking about his new music. | ||
| He's got to record a video in his backyard. | ||
| You know, he turned down government security. | ||
| Because he said he would pay for it. | ||
| You know how expensive that is? | ||
| Well, he doesn't have anywhere to go right now, so it's not that expensive. | ||
| What do you think happens to him? | ||
| He's going to die. | ||
| Every blood in the world wants to kill him. | ||
| How many people did he rat out? | ||
| So many. | ||
| Now, did they let him out because they let him out, or did they let him out because of COVID? Both. | ||
| Yeah, he was let out early. | ||
| Because he snitched on everybody. | ||
| He was going to have maybe eight more months, so they just let him out and finished the rest of his time at home. | ||
| Dude, they're letting out so many people from jail that should be in jail for the rest of their life. | ||
| Yeah, like child molesters. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, I'm baffled. | ||
| And for what? | ||
| For this COVID? Are you out of their goddamn mind? | ||
| Everybody is out of their goddamn mind. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Like I'm saying- It's so disappointing. | ||
| I think people prepared and were anticipating something that was way more horrible. | ||
| And they can't go back. | ||
| They didn't make an adjustment. | ||
| They can't go back because they don't want to look stupid. | ||
| Like Governor Newsom, like, oh, fuck, now I look like an asshole. | ||
| I think Governor Newsom wants to be president. | ||
| I think that's the same thing with that woman who's the governor of Michigan. | ||
| It's the same thing, who's getting sued by the House. | ||
| She's getting sued by people in her own state because they're like, hey, you don't have the authority to do this. | ||
| And she's saying, I'm going with science and statistics. | ||
| But you're not, though. | ||
| But you're not, though. | ||
| Talk to my boy Elon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What he says goes, dude. | ||
| But the thing is, she's on a short list of people that, for the vice presidency with Biden, that's what it is. | ||
| You ain't gonna win, bitch. | ||
| He's not gonna win. | ||
| You're not gonna win. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| He's not gonna win. | ||
| You got this rape allegation now, and then you also can't speak? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I speak better than you. | ||
| What are we talking about? | ||
| I have problems. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's doomed. | |
| I have a speech impediment. | ||
| I talk for a living. | ||
| I speak better than you. | ||
| He's so doomed. | ||
| He's so... | ||
| He's gonna die in four years. | ||
| He can't be as president. | ||
| He's just doomed, period. | ||
| Everything about him is doomed. | ||
| He can't talk, and it's like the allegations and the fact that people are showing such a fucking unbridled hypocrisy by supporting him while they were against all these other guys that were accused of sexual impropriety. | ||
| Just because they want Trump out. | ||
| They'll ignore everything, just get Trump out. | ||
| They want their team to win, and that's what they're showing. | ||
| They're showing it's not believe all women. | ||
| It's believe all women if they're accusing a man that you don't like. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I can't believe Trump and Biden are the best we got. | ||
| It's not the best we got. | ||
| It's because the smart people don't run for president. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| A lot of the smart ones don't. | ||
| There's some smart ones out there. | ||
| Yeah, but they don't seem to want that job. | ||
| I think Mark Cuban could do a good job. | ||
| I think he'd like to be president. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| I'd probably vote for him. | ||
| He's more of a libertarian. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Mark, you know I love it. | ||
| He's being a real bitch about this COVID stuff. | ||
| He's like, I don't think the NBA should be back. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Recently? | ||
| Yeah, I think his mom's like 900 years old, so he's worried she's going to get it. | ||
| Well, take care of your mom, bro. | ||
| You worth billions. | ||
| Dude, put her in a bubble. | ||
| Dude, it's like the same... | ||
| It's like that Hollywood actor, that Indian guy who's in the Marvel movie, who's just preaching from the mountains. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Like, we're going to open up and this is going to get worse. | ||
| We should shut down. | ||
| Kumail Nanjiani, that guy? | ||
| Shut the fuck up, dude. | ||
| Make another Marvel movie. | ||
| He's just saying because his wife has an underlying condition, so he's worried about that, which I get, dude, from a personal standpoint. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| But also, read the stats. | ||
| You're smart. | ||
| He's super smart. | ||
| You're a smart dude, man. | ||
| There's... | ||
| I'm sure a little bit of that, but there's also a little bit of virtue signaling where people are saying things that they know that the enlightened, thoughtful people are supposed to say, and then they get support online. | ||
| They check the tweets. | ||
| Oh, look at all these people who agree with me. | ||
| Yay! | ||
| Look what I did. | ||
| I got them to like me more. | ||
| Hope I'm in fucking Spider-Man 9. Thank you for saying this. | ||
| You're amazing, by the way. | ||
| Every life matters. | ||
| Everyone has to say that. | ||
| Every life matters. | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| Where were you before this COVID thing? | ||
| Because people are dying all the time. | ||
| It's interesting to see that obesity is the number one factor in people in New York City. | ||
| Because all these people that want to think that it's okay to be obese, it's fine. | ||
| Yeah, fat's not cute, man. | ||
| No, they're not cute. | ||
| It's like really bad for you. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Yeah, we've known this. | ||
| Yeah, forever. | ||
| And then COVID comes and goes, oh, this is too easy. | ||
| And then if this doesn't scare your fat ass into shape... | ||
| But do you think that people, like with all this fat shaming mentality out there, that people will, that the government or someone, public health, will step up and have some sort of a public health campaign saying, look, folks, you've got to lose weight. | ||
| You've got to stop eating sugar. | ||
| It's terrible for your immune system. | ||
| Get yourself down to a reasonable size. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would love to see that and see what the people freak out about it and all the people that try to counter it with emotions and bullshit. | ||
| It's alright to have tits. | ||
| Stop trying to define beauty standards. | ||
| Muffin tops are cool. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what you're going to do, man. | ||
| I saw a video. | ||
| I don't know what I saw. | ||
| I saw a video... | ||
| I think maybe Josh Weff showed it. | ||
| It was a video of kids in the 70s in a gym class. | ||
| Just a random gym class. | ||
| These kids were all in fucking phenomenal shape. | ||
| There's like 100 kids. | ||
| Everyone's slim. | ||
| Everyone's slim. | ||
| That's how it should be, man. | ||
| I know I'm a little thick, but I'm in shape, dude. | ||
| My heart's great. | ||
| My rest of my heart rate's insane. | ||
| But these kids were all in shape, man. | ||
| All these kids. | ||
| You go to high school now, every kid gets a letter from his mom. | ||
| Oh, he can't work out because of, you know... | ||
| Billy has sore ankles. | ||
| Billy gets anxiety when you make him run a mile. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck? | ||
| I had to run a mile. | ||
| Yes, Billy's anxious. | ||
| Billy gets anxious. | ||
| He needs to have his dog with him. | ||
| Billy doesn't respond well to pressure. | ||
| Leave him alone. | ||
| Leave him alone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| God damn it. | ||
| One thing that we saw from this is that there's so many people that don't know how to deal with any sort of adversity. | ||
| I can't be their friend. | ||
| I have people who I used to talk to And when this thing came out, we're just going to bunker down, and I think the comedy store is going to be closed in 2022, and we're not going to be on the road anymore. | ||
| Who? | ||
| I'm not going to tell you. | ||
| Say the names. | ||
| Nope, I can't. | ||
| What do they rhyme with? | ||
| What does the names rhyme with? | ||
| I'm not going to do it. | ||
| I'll tell you afterwards. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I literally went... | ||
| We can't be friends anymore. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| You can't be my foxhole, dude. | ||
| This scared you? | ||
| Oh, this ain't shit, bubba. | ||
| Well, we can't be friends anymore. | ||
| I literally don't talk to him. | ||
| I'm anxious to talk to Michael Yeo on Monday. | ||
| The way he was describing it, like... | ||
| Be cool, Michael. | ||
| Be cool, man. | ||
| You got through it, bro. | ||
| He's gonna scare the fuck out of everybody. | ||
| He thought he was gonna die. | ||
| But he got pneumonia. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Pneumonia is still real. | ||
| People still get pneumonia. | ||
| People die from pneumonia all the time. | ||
| And if you get pneumonia, end that. | ||
| I got pneumonia when I was 19. Yeah. | ||
| If you get pneumonia... | ||
| My son got pneumonia, too. | ||
| ...end that, you're fucked. | ||
| And that's what happened with him. | ||
| But you still survived. | ||
| Don't come on here and fucking scare... | ||
| Michael, yo, I will fuck you up. | ||
| Don't come on here and scare everybody, dude. | ||
| We have... | ||
| We get enough, man. | ||
| You ever watch CNN? You would think the world's on fire. | ||
| What's that guy's name, Brian Stelter? | ||
| He's my favorite. | ||
| He's a chubby guy. | ||
| He's like the balder, chubby guy. | ||
| He's rarely on there. | ||
| He's very effeminate. | ||
| It's more lemon. | ||
| Yeah, but I love when he's all doom and gloom. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Tim Dillon tweeted this last night. | ||
| This was interesting. | ||
| That's where I saw it from, but it's on Newsweek. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Coronavirus survivors permanently disqualified from joining U.S. military recruitment memo suggests. | ||
| What would that be for? | ||
| Tim said, what does the Pentagon know that we don't know? | ||
| But that says U.S. recruitment memo suggests. | ||
| That's permanently disqualified. | ||
| See, these standards change all the time. | ||
| This is based on what? | ||
| I mean, if they show that you can completely 100% recover from coronavirus, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I doubt that's true. | ||
| I think that memo is probably in response to this idea that it could be a reoccurring infection. | ||
| That was something that people thought. | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| Those who have tested positive for COVID-19 are no longer eligible for military service. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| No way. | ||
| But we don't know if that's true. | ||
| During the screening process, a reported history of confirmed COVID-19 will be an annotated Consider disqualifying. | ||
| Reported history of confirmed... | ||
| Eh. | ||
| I'm not buying that. | ||
| I'm not buying it. | ||
| I'm not buying that. | ||
| Fake news. | ||
| Yeah, that could shift back and forth, and that's probably just fear-mongering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'd be insane. | |
| Yeah, that's some bullshit. | ||
| Some old bullshit. | ||
| Cuomo came up on the come-up, right, during this? | ||
| Andrew Cuomo? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| But, again, if you look back what he did initially... | ||
| Initially, where New York had their problem was at the old folks' home. | ||
| And what he did, anybody at the old folks' home who got COVID, he went, unless you're showing symptoms, get back in there. | ||
| So then they all got it and they all fucking died. | ||
| It's like, dude, you fucked up, man. | ||
| You kind of fucked them. | ||
| Well, I think in the beginning, no one knew exactly what the fuck was going on. | ||
| I mean, in January, the World Health Organization tweeted out. | ||
| The World Health Organization, the one that everybody's telling everybody that you have to listen to them. | ||
| In January, they tweeted out that there's no evidence, according to China, that you catch it person to person. | ||
| Which is insane. | ||
| But that's in January. | ||
| It's just insane. | ||
| No one listened to them in the first place. | ||
| But the other thing is, how about their estimates? | ||
| Two million people are going to die. | ||
| I know. | ||
| In America alone. | ||
| Get ready. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But they're saying, well, if we didn't have this lockdown, maybe that would have happened. | ||
| And then even Como came out and said, what I've realized is if we're doing the lockdown, it's spreading inside the families. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, we're kind of fucked up there, so we don't know what to do. | ||
| Well, not just that. | ||
| There's also the concept of immunity, that your immune system really needs interaction with other people. | ||
| Look at Sweden, dude. | ||
| Sweden did nothing. | ||
| Numbers are similar to ours. | ||
| They did nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Are their numbers similar to ours? | ||
| I thought their numbers were a little higher than the neighboring countries that did do social distancing in lockdown. | ||
| Bring that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| All I know is murder wasps are coming right now. | ||
| The murder wasps. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Dude, if I have to avoid murder wasps and rattlesnakes, I'd have to stop biking. | ||
| We don't have a chance. | ||
| We don't have a chance to relax. | ||
| Let me chill, dude. | ||
| When did they become murder hornets? | ||
| Why do you call them murder hornets? | ||
| Murder bees. | ||
| It's not about murdering anything else. | ||
| I know, but when did they change their name? | ||
| They used to be Asian hornets. | ||
| Murder bees now, bro. | ||
| Murder hornets. | ||
| Much scared. | ||
| They call them wasps or hornets. | ||
| There's also killer bees that disappeared and came back for a while. | ||
| Yeah, but that was Africanized. | ||
| But the idea of killer bees is that they would swarm you. | ||
| Bees ain't shit. | ||
| This is a different thing. | ||
| This thing? | ||
| It's similar to this, though? | ||
| It's a similar size? | ||
| I think it's bigger. | ||
| I think they're bigger. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Are they murder wasps or murder hornets? | ||
| Murder wasps. | ||
| Wasps. | ||
| These wasps, like, they never called them murder wasps until like two weeks ago. | ||
| CNN got a hornet. | ||
| Someone had a great name. | ||
| It's a great name. | ||
| Murder hornet. | ||
| Murder hornet. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So murder hornets. | ||
| I'm going to call this a murder hornet, by the way. | ||
| On my picture, I'm going to say I got a murder hornet. | ||
| Until two weeks ago. | ||
| I never heard that term. | ||
| Did you hear that term? | ||
| No, but it's terrifying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| When they go, murder hornets hit Washington, I'm like, well, they're coming to Cali, dude. | ||
| That Coyote Peterson guy, though, that guy got stung by one like two years ago. | ||
| That's some real pain. | ||
| They didn't call it a murder hornet. | ||
| It's because they're on America. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what's out in other parts of the world. | ||
| No, are they in Seattle? | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| They snuck in on some cargo ship? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I thought they're in D.C. Oh, good. | ||
| I hope they only go to politicians. | ||
| Are they on the West Coast? | ||
| Right in the dick. | ||
| I thought it was Washington State. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That's where everything seems to be hitting. | ||
| That's where the corona hit first. | ||
| Is that where it is? | ||
| Where's the murder hornets, Jamie? | ||
| They were discovered late last year in Washington State. | ||
| So it's not even relevant? | ||
| They've been chilling? | ||
| Two of them were discovered. | ||
| Some asshole probably had them as a pet and they're not even breeding. | ||
| We're just looking for something to be scared of now. | ||
| The media's got to sell clicks. | ||
| That got me. | ||
| They got you. | ||
| Corona didn't, but these murder wasps did. | ||
| I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| When I saw it, I'm like, ah, fuck, let's quarantine. | ||
| If that becomes an issue, like they start flying into people's houses and stinging people. | ||
| One of the two was found dead, and the other one flew off, so... | ||
| There's one? | ||
| We can't find? | ||
| That's really the fucking story? | ||
| That's what their story says in CBS? Goddammit. | ||
| Oh, well now this isn't too bad. | ||
| Goddammit, everyone sucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| The media gets you, man. | ||
| They got me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's their business. | |
| Their business is to scare you. | ||
| The only way they make clicks. | ||
| How do you get clicks? | ||
| Someone's got to be scared of something or angry. | ||
| How do we get clicks? | ||
| We're funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| By being real. | ||
| In Japan, they hunt them where insects are hunted and eaten. | ||
| 30 to 50 people die per year. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| But they're hunting them, so. | ||
| There's a shitload of people die by rattlesnakes. | ||
| You ever looked up rattlesnake deaths? | ||
| I didn't know this. | ||
| They fuck you up, man. | ||
| Yeah, rattlesnakes are not good. | ||
| Dude, I send you guys the picture every day of a rattlesnake. | ||
| Every day, you do. | ||
| You send me a new rattlesnake video every day. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| The very first one I found, that was an anaconda with a rattler on it, dude. | ||
| If you look back on it, that snake was so fucking big. | ||
| It was a big one. | ||
| I ran over one once, running with my dogs. | ||
| It was across the street or across the trail. | ||
| I thought it was a stick. | ||
| As I'm running over it, I realize, oh my god, that's a fucking rattler. | ||
| And he just let you jump on him? | ||
| No, I just, I cleared him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| But I literally ran over his body and then I realized in the air that it was a rattlesnake. | ||
| I mean, thick like my wrist. | ||
| You know what bothers me is I'll see the snake and I'll wait. | ||
| If I pass people, I know they're coming, I'll wait out front like, rattlesnake, rattlesnake. | ||
| This lady with a dog, she's out there. | ||
| I go, rattlesnake. | ||
| And she's letting her dog just walk. | ||
| I'm like, dude, you fucking idiot. | ||
| Put him on a leash, dude. | ||
| I would never... | ||
| I used to take my son on these hikes. | ||
| I don't take him anymore. | ||
| Too many rattlesnakes. | ||
| But when people have their dogs out and they just let them go on the side, that's where the snakes are. | ||
| So I ride in the middle. | ||
| Because the snakes are always on the side. | ||
| If I come out, I can see them. | ||
| But these people let their dogs just go up and down the side. | ||
| I'm like, that's so dangerous. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| There's so many dingbats out there, dude. | ||
| There's so many people that think they just have shit for brains. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| Dude, one old lady, I see her, she goes the same time I do. | ||
| She's in shape, tan as fuck, skin like leather, looks like a purse, right? | ||
| She's fucking, she's going, I go, ma'am, there's a rattlesnake about 10 feet up. | ||
| She goes, she takes her old school head. | ||
| She goes, a what? | ||
| I go, a rattlesnake. | ||
| She goes, okay, doesn't move. | ||
| It's on the path. | ||
| Doesn't move, just goes right along the side of it. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Probably ready to die. | ||
| Probably survived World War II like a rattlesnake. | ||
| Bitch, I was in Pearl Harbor. | ||
| Yeah, she's got a softball mitt face. | ||
| She didn't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| She's like, why am I alive? | ||
| Face like Sacagawea. | ||
| When certain people get to a certain age, I wonder if they do more dangerous shit, like hoping something goes wrong. | ||
| I send those videos to my dad and he gets mad. | ||
| I don't think he cares about me, but he goes, if my grandsons grow up without a fucking father because you got bit riding that gay bike. | ||
| I'm like, hey man! | ||
| What a hilarious reaction! | ||
|
unidentified
|
If my grandsons grow up without a father, you fucking piece of shit. | |
| For riding that gay bike? | ||
| It's not gay, dude. | ||
| It's a mountain bike. | ||
| There's nothing gay about it. | ||
| That is fucking hilarious. | ||
| What a take. | ||
| Right? | ||
| What a hot take by your dad. | ||
| Dead serious. | ||
| Dead serious. | ||
| Worried about your grandson. | ||
| Not even worried about your son. | ||
| Don't give a fuck. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Alright, it's three o'clock already. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Dude, this goes by so fast. | ||
| It always does. | ||
| We covered three minutes of the fights. | ||
| I think we covered quite a bit. | ||
| Did we? | ||
| Oh, did we? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| We covered quite a bit, man. | ||
| It was hours ago, though. | ||
| We forgot. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So we have a fight companion. | ||
| We solved COVID. | ||
| Yes, we solved everything. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| Jacksonville works out. | ||
| You're going to be great, man. | ||
| I can't fucking wait. | ||
| You'll see 249 Saturday. | ||
| I'm weirded out doing commentary with no audience. | ||
| It's going to be strange. | ||
| You're going to kill it. | ||
| I wish you guys were together. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| Thick Boy Bike Club merch drops tomorrow, 10 a.m., tfatk.com. | ||
| When is your first scheduled comedy date? | ||
| Spoken. | ||
| Last weekend of Spoken. | ||
| June? | ||
| June. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it's almost sold out. | ||
| Oh, it happens. | ||
| And we're going to get together. | ||
| Thick Boy Bike Club's going to get together Saturday. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| tfatk.com. | ||
| You know it. | ||
| Love you, man. | ||
| Love you too, brother. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
Export Selection