Nov. 23, 2010 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:57:50
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I got nothing to hide. | ||
| Yee-haw! | ||
| And we're live, ladies and gentlemen, so I get a message. | ||
| Just like that? | ||
| Just like that, bitches. | ||
| I get a message from a friend of mine who says that while he was listening to the show, we were talking about something, and then the ads for that thing started showing up. | ||
| Yeah, it's Fong from PlastiCell. | ||
| He said, you guys were talking about slouching with Theo Vaughn today, and this popped up on his feed just now. | ||
| I never Googled it before, and it's some fucking alarm that goes off, like when you slouch for it. | ||
| Have you seen those things? | ||
| You glue them on you? | ||
| I've been getting an ad for that, too. | ||
| Oh, you have? | ||
| So maybe you think it was random? | ||
| It could be that, or it could be targeting Joe Rogan listeners. | ||
| Yeah, which is what they do. | ||
| It's the way it works. | ||
| So they found out that we were listening? | ||
| No, they could just be going. | ||
| I mean, maybe that, but there's a large audience here, so they could just be going after. | ||
| Right, but do you think, like what Adam Green, she said the other day, that he was talking about Toyota trucks, and then all of a sudden his Google ads started showing up Toyota Tacomas. | ||
| And he's like, dude, he goes, they're listening. | ||
| The robots are listening. | ||
| Someone's listening, but they're also looking for key terms and stuff like that. | ||
| But they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I have a few instances. | ||
| I took screenshots because it happened three consecutive weeks. | ||
| I touched something. | ||
| I literally held the object in my hand. | ||
| And within 12 hours I was getting an ad for it. | ||
| Maybe your magic, bro. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| One of them I have a little explanation. | ||
| The other two are so weird. | ||
| It's like, how the fuck am I getting an ad for this thing now? | ||
| I've never even seen this. | ||
| I've never talked about it to anybody. | ||
| I didn't tell anybody I was holding it. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta always be careful of like... | ||
| This idea, you know, because sometimes things are just a coincidence. | ||
| And this idea that there's some grand conspiracy when it could be easily explained by coincidence. | ||
| But the thing that Adam said, he said, he goes, mate, I never fucking Googled Toyota trucks. | ||
| Is that a good... | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| Not that good. | ||
| A little British. | ||
| Hey, mate. | ||
| But he was saying that they started popping up right after the podcast. | ||
| Immediately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Immediately. | |
| So if that's the case, they had to be listening to his podcast. | ||
| Or they're listening. | ||
| One of them's listening because you have a large audience. | ||
| Someone from there is listening to it live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then they're just like, dude, they launched those ads. | ||
| Yeah, but how does it get on his Google feed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You think they would spoil more fucking crime and stuff if they're listening to everything? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| You don't make money spoiling crime, bro. | ||
| Aw, come on, man. | ||
| You make money selling trucks. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I feel like, for sure, when I Google something, it starts popping up. | ||
| We know that. | ||
| But that seems normal. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| If you go on my phone right now, because I've been looking at Dodge Vipers, anything I click on, Dodge Vipers pop up. | ||
| Even on ads on Instagram. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're just trying to get you. | ||
| Or like when I look at houses. | ||
| Certain markets pop up. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| They know. | ||
| This motherfucker's looking to spend some money. | ||
| Speaking of spending some money, Ford, why do you hate America? | ||
| They released the new GT500 only in automatic. | ||
| Oh my god, what a shame. | ||
| What a shame. | ||
| Is it only automatic? | ||
| Only automatic. | ||
| I didn't know that I posted on my story because some dude was like, Shob, when you get one of these? | ||
| And I was like, god, that thing is dope. | ||
| And I posted with like a thinking face. | ||
| Now that's automatic. | ||
| Ain't happening. | ||
| People go, well, you have a PDK GT3 RS. It's different. | ||
| Well, it's also that's the only way they make it. | ||
| It's the only way they make the GT3 RS. The RS, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean, you could get a GT3 or an R. I get it. | |
| People don't want to shift. | ||
| They get stuck in traffic. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But there's a lot of other cars you can get. | ||
| The GT500, it used to only be stick, like the GT350. Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know why they're doing it, because they want to compete with everyone, because on the track, the PDKs beat the best racers in the world. | ||
| Like, my brother's telling me about this article he was reading, where, I think it was the new GT3 RS, and... | ||
| Or maybe it was the new GT3, because there's one in PDK, there's one in stick. | ||
| They had one of the best race car drivers in the world driving the stick shift. | ||
| Then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK, and they were going around the track, and the PDK smoked this dude. | ||
| The guy with the stick shift smoked him. | ||
| Yeah, but what are you trying to do? | ||
| If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it. | ||
| But how many people are buying a car for the track? | ||
| You're looking at them, bro. | ||
| I race on the track. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| I just like the feeling, and it's kind of lame because I have that slingshot, the polar slingshot, and that stick shift, and that's like a tricky stick shift. | ||
| Well, that's that little tiny cage with wheels. | ||
| Dangerous as shit. | ||
| Dangerous. | ||
| But because it's a stick shift, I like not being able to pay attention to my phone. | ||
| I like having to worry about all the cars around me. | ||
| I like that feeling. | ||
| I like the feeling of the road and the stick shift. | ||
| I dig that. | ||
| I want that in a car now. | ||
| Yeah, that's how my Corvette is. | ||
| That little 65 Corvette, that thing's so small. | ||
| Pump some life into you, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Do you drive it to the store? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wakes you up, right? | ||
| Yeah, it wakes you up. | ||
| Well, it's so loud. | ||
| It's got side pipes. | ||
| It's a stick shift. | ||
| Big old hearse. | ||
| Fucking cue ball on the top. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what you want. | ||
| That's what they used to have with the GT500. I had a GT500 way back in 2012. It was glorious. | ||
| Big old rumbly fucking... | ||
| I had a convertible too. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Damn right you did. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Put the top down. | ||
| Loud as fuck. | ||
| But also, we get too comfy with the... | ||
| You know, if you drive your freaking M5, it's so cushy and everything. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| That thing looks dope as shit. | ||
| Look at the front view. | ||
| See, go with Silver GT500. Pull that up. | ||
| There's a shitload of carbon fiber in it now, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of shit like the splitter and a bunch of the arrow stuff. | ||
| Look at that one right there. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That looks so good. | ||
| That looks so good. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| But it's a goddamn automatic. | ||
| Like, why'd they do that? | ||
| Just to compete, man. | ||
| So when you look on Motor Trend, it says... | ||
| Have it as an option. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I bet they have it as an option, yeah? | ||
| Have it as an option and they give you a skirt when you climb into it. | ||
| It said the transmission was made specifically for this car. | ||
| Just to get performance out of it. | ||
| That's all they want is the performance. | ||
| So they can say, hey, this competes with... | ||
| I would still drive that, even though it's an automatic. | ||
| I would drive it as a daily driver. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| 750 horsepower daily driver. | ||
| 757, it says. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| That thing's probably pretty light, yeah? | ||
| With all the carbon fiber, that thing's a fucking rocket. | ||
| No, I don't think it's light at all. | ||
| Chuck the weight, Jamie. | ||
| I bet it's 3,900 pounds easy. | ||
| Do you think it's almost 4,000? | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah, I bet it is. | ||
| Does it have all the cushy shit in it? | ||
| 30 seconds, 60. No. | ||
| Doesn't say. | ||
| Mid 3 second, 0-60. | ||
| Yeah, I bet it's 3,900 pounds. | ||
| Google GT350R. They'll have the curb weight. | ||
| If there's a bunch of carbon fiber, it's not going to be that heavy. | ||
| That carbon fiber is mostly for looks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's so strong, dude? | ||
| Yeah, but it's mostly for looks. | ||
| It's not making it that much lighter. | ||
| 3,700 pounds. | ||
| And that's the most track-ready one. | ||
| So this is going to be heavier than the GT350 because it has a supercharger on it. | ||
| The supercharger and all that other jazz is probably about 100 pounds. | ||
| So yeah, it's like 3,800 pounds. | ||
| 3,700. | ||
| Yeah, for that one. | ||
| But that's the 350. The GT500 has a big-ass Whipple supercharger on it. | ||
| To make it even heavier. | ||
| Sounds so good, though. | ||
| You ever hear a supercharger whine? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's American power, though. | ||
| They're not light. | ||
| They're heavy, big-ass engines. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| That's what you want, kind of, isn't it? | ||
| They're trying to make a muscle car a precision scalpel instrument, like a 911 GT3. It's not that. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| It's not what we're looking for. | ||
| Like, that white car that I have, the GT3 RS, the Shark Works car, that car is a scalpel. | ||
| It's precision. | ||
| It's effortless, the way it handles and maneuvers, and it's just a different experience. | ||
| But a muscle car is supposed to thrill you. | ||
| It's supposed to be exciting. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to... | ||
| Yeah, it's not going to beat any fucking track times. | ||
| No, you don't... | ||
| You're not trying to... | ||
| I mean, what are you, Nicolas Cage and gone in 60 seconds? | ||
|
unidentified
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Stop. | |
| My brother always says that. | ||
| Any car, I'm like, my thing would beat the shit out of that. | ||
| He's like, not on the track, though. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| 405. I don't give a fuck. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| I'm not Vin Diesel, what do I look like? | ||
| On the track. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's so irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars. | ||
| Like, when they're selling these Corvettes, these new Corvette ZR1s with 757 horsepower, they have a sub-3 second 0-60. | ||
| It's like 2.6 seconds. | ||
| There needs to be, like, an IQ test for that thing. | ||
| Not even a driving test. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Do you believe in flat earth? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| What about that fucking... | ||
| What do you think of Pizzagate? | ||
| That new Tesla Roadster is going to be zero to 60 in under two seconds. | ||
| That's trouble because every moron that doesn't owe a car is getting Tesla because it's like the new Prius cool thing to do. | ||
| And so they get those things and they're fucking lightning rods. | ||
| Lightning rods. | ||
| I can't... | ||
| I just... | ||
| I know I'm super old school. | ||
| I can't fuck with them. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| I get in Callens. | ||
| It bumps me out. | ||
| It's just not for me, man. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I like the sound of an engine. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You feel like you're driving an iPod. | ||
| I don't care how fucking fast it goes. | ||
| It does nothing for me. | ||
| Callan goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you should get one. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| It depends what day you catch him. | ||
| It depends which day it is. | ||
| It's like he's trying to talk you into it. | ||
| So he doesn't feel alone out there. | ||
| He's like, I love that thing. | ||
| I fucking love that thing. | ||
| The next day he's like, I don't do that. | ||
| That thing, the charge, I just don't know, man. | ||
| He goes, should I get a Porsche? | ||
| Should I be like you and Joe? | ||
| Should I get a Porsche? | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Should I be like you? | ||
| Not for you, man. | ||
| He should get something that's reliable that he could drive around everywhere. | ||
| You know, like a BMW or something. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Something simple. | |
| He should get like a 5 Series. | ||
| Something simple. | ||
| But his ego won't let him. | ||
| He needs a big car. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, he won't get a small car, no. | ||
| Why does he need a big car? | ||
| You know, it's Callan, man. | ||
| He likes a big car? | ||
| Well, yeah, he wants to be manly, you know? | ||
| He's not going to get just... | ||
| Big cars are manly? | ||
| To him... | ||
| You know, it's Brian, bro! | ||
| But if he wants to be manly, why would he get a car that doesn't make any noise? | ||
| Because he doesn't even think about that. | ||
| He doesn't care about, like, dual... | ||
| If you ask him what dual exhaust is, he'd be like, I have no idea. | ||
| He doesn't know what dual exhaust is. | ||
| No, it's... | ||
| He's not into that stuff. | ||
| You know what happened? | ||
| He took a chance way back in the day. | ||
| I want to say, like, 2002 or 2003. He had a Ford Bronco. | ||
| Like, 1969 Ford Bronco. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, hell yeah. | |
| It was badass. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But it stunk. | ||
| It was one of them old school ones. | ||
| It wasn't like an Icon one. | ||
| It was an old school one with a carburetor and shit. | ||
| So you smelled gas fumes everywhere. | ||
| Dude, love this. | ||
| And it didn't have any doors. | ||
| And it didn't have a top. | ||
| Callan had this? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you give it to him? | ||
| He didn't buy that. | ||
| No, no, he bought it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He bought it. | |
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He decided he was a wild man. | ||
| And he was going to drive around in a... | ||
| It was a stick shift. | ||
| Stick shift. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was a stick shift. | ||
| Ford Bronco. | ||
| Early Bronco. | ||
| And put his pit bull in the back. | ||
| Yeah, he was like this wild man living on Venice Beach. | ||
| Single. | ||
| Single guy. | ||
| Dicking down everybody in sight. | ||
| Just out there on the freak prowl. | ||
| Just dropping loads all over Venice. | ||
| And couldn't keep it up. | ||
| I was looking up the Roadster. | ||
| This is Audi's new thing that they just announced. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's called the PB18. Jesus Christ. | |
| That's an electric car? | ||
| It's going to rival the Roadster. | ||
| Same speed is what they're sort of claiming. | ||
| It'll go zero to 60 in just under two seconds. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| The car's getting too fast. | ||
| Look how good it looks, though. | ||
| It charges in 15 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yee! | |
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| How the fuck is that possible? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because the Germans said, oh, Tesla, you're making cars? | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| Let us try. | ||
| When is this coming out? | ||
| There's only going to be about 50 of them made. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| You fucking sons of bitches. | ||
| Again, even that. | ||
| It looks dope, but I'd rather have the R8 with a gas engine. | ||
| That is a beastly looking spaceship of a vehicle, bro. | ||
| It looks pretty much like a modernized R8. No, it's got a seat in the center. | ||
| Do you see what's going on there? | ||
| Yeah, I see it. | ||
| You get one seat. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Yeah, if you've got a girlfriend, you tell her to sit in the backseat and rub my neck. | ||
| Nah, kick rocks, bitch. | ||
| Get an Uber. | ||
| Meet you there. | ||
| This thing doesn't have a backseat. | ||
| You take off. | ||
| You can't peel rubber in those things. | ||
| You just go like this. | ||
| That thing's fucking filthy, though. | ||
| That's a dirty little car. | ||
| It's an R8, yeah. | ||
| I bet they're going to come out with a gas pad, R8. It looks just the same. | ||
| Well, apparently people are taking the Acura NSX and they're replacing, they're doing something to the boost, replacing the ECU, so they're changing the program that they use to... | ||
| And using aftermarket exhaust and just jacking the horsepower way up. | ||
| That's what you do with those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That fucking new NSX is a beast of a car, man. | ||
| They're cool. | ||
| I didn't realize how small they were, though. | ||
| One pulled up to me the other night. | ||
| It was like revving his engine. | ||
| I'm like, dude, we're not doing this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm 35 years old. | ||
| We're not doing this. | ||
| And he was a grown man, too. | ||
| This was off Sunset when I was coming home from the store. | ||
| Some grown men will brag about it, too. | ||
| Yeah, it blew them off the line at the red light. | ||
| I'm like, what are we going to do, man? | ||
| I don't get this. | ||
| But I didn't realize how small they were now. | ||
| Yeah, they're pretty little. | ||
| The old ones are real little. | ||
| That's what it looks like now. | ||
| That's a deep... | ||
| That's a deep red. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Almost a guard red. | ||
| That's a Porsche. | ||
| Good-looking car, goddammit. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| That's very McLaren-ish. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| Well, they're making them spaceship-y, you know? | ||
| Dude, I was in Edmonton this past weekend, freezing at the Giant Mall, but in the middle of the mall, there's a McLaren, and, you know, that mall's filled with kids, because there's... | ||
| Wave pools and dolphins. | ||
| There's all sorts of shit there. | ||
| It's the biggest mall in North America. | ||
| And this poor McLaren is hurting my feelings because there's kids everywhere. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about the McLaren. | ||
| They're yanking on the fucking side mares. | ||
| There's also some kid kicking the back. | ||
| I'm like, dude, what are you guys doing here? | ||
| It's just parked in the middle. | ||
| Yeah, just as like a showcase car. | ||
| They don't even have ropes around it? | ||
| No ropes, nothing. | ||
| Kids wiping their shitty, sticky fingers in it. | ||
| Picking their nose. | ||
| God. | ||
| Wiping boogers on them. | ||
| Taking Legos, just fucking etching their names in the side and shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was like, come on, McLaren, show a little pride, huh? | ||
| Why would they let that thing just... | ||
| Put a Tesla there or some shit. | ||
| Are they really selling a lot of McLarens in Edmonton? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, it is that oil money. | ||
| Starts burning a hole in your pocket. | ||
| A lot of those guys up there in Alberta, they get those jobs, which are tough fucking jobs. | ||
| The oil? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Great hard work. | ||
| Hard work, but big money. | ||
| My friend John Rivett and his wife Jen, their son was doing it for a while. | ||
| Kind of a bad business to be in though, right? | ||
| Because oil's kind of on the way out, right? | ||
| Not up there. | ||
| I think it's down though. | ||
| I know it's down because the economy there, one of the drivers was telling me, he's like, yeah, oil's just not what it's, you know, it's a fraction of the price than what it was a year ago, two years ago. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| He's like, so we're taking hits from it. | ||
| Can you imagine if that was like your business and your business could just fluctuate that hard? | ||
| Like all of a sudden? | ||
| Up and down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just useless. | ||
| Well, because eventually it's going to be useless. | ||
| Probably not in our lifetime. | ||
| Well, not with assholes like us that don't want to drive electric cars. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I think about that all the time. | ||
| I think about it with my son. | ||
| I'm like, God, I hope this little perk isn't just driving Teslas everywhere. | ||
| Like, I want to educate them on dope-ass rides. | ||
| But then it's fucking up the planet, but also, is it? | ||
| It is. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So then we should be in electric cars. | ||
| It's having an effect, yeah. | ||
| But the question is, how much of an effect? | ||
| What is having the most effect? | ||
| There's a lot of different things that are having an effect. | ||
| And what's our footprint in that effect? | ||
| You know I'm saying yeah, it's there's a lot I mean human beings There's a lot of us and we're definitely burning a lot of shit and putting a lot of carbon into the atmosphere And there's a just definitely an impact well It's an impact is crazy the question is how much of an impact and Can it be turned around? | ||
| And how much of a bad thing is it actually? | ||
| Because somewhere in the... | ||
| It's in the middle of... | ||
| You've got your ultimate doom and gloom people that are saying... | ||
| They're saying that all of the city is going to be underwater... | ||
| The fucking East Coast is going to be underwater. | ||
| The West Coast is going to be underwater. | ||
| Everyone's fucked. | ||
| And then you've got the other people that say, no, we're just going to be able to move into Northern Canada. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| People that think that we're just going to have beautiful spots in Antarctica. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's probably somewhere in the middle, huh? | ||
| It's somewhere in the middle. | ||
| Somewhere in the middle. | ||
| I'm a metal guy. | ||
| The real optimists think that we're going to be able to take some of the carbon out of the atmosphere. | ||
| And the way they're going to be able to do it, they actually invented this giant machine that looks like a building. | ||
| It's like a building size machine that's like a huge air filter. | ||
| That just sucks carbon out of the air. | ||
| I think they did it. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| I think it's a Chinese thing. | ||
| I think they're installing them somewhere in China. | ||
| Because, you know, like when the athletes were in Beijing for the Olympics, they said the air quality was like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. | ||
| Dude, you don't realize how important air quality is. | ||
| When those fires, I was doing shows in Sacramento, I didn't even think of it. | ||
| And fans are DMing me going, dude, are you going to cancel? | ||
| Please don't cancel. | ||
| I'm like, why the fuck would I cancel? | ||
| No, I don't cancel shows. | ||
| I'll see you soon, man. | ||
| Then I fly in, and I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| You couldn't see a foot in front of your face. | ||
| All smoke. | ||
| You sent me a picture from your hotel room, and I was like, is there a fire in your room? | ||
| Dude, I've never seen anything like it, and I did not feel good. | ||
| I was sick the whole time there, doing my shows. | ||
| I was lightheaded. | ||
| Everyone had masks on, like Asians at airports. | ||
| Everybody, except for me and my brother. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| We couldn't get any masks because they're all sold out. | ||
| Did they help? | ||
| The masks help? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| They filter some of it, but I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until I went up there. | ||
| I'm like, holy shit, man. | ||
| This is serious. | ||
| Those fires were so big. | ||
| I mean, the fires down here were big, but nothing compared to the Northern California fires. | ||
| Because the area of Northern California that got lit up was like woods. | ||
| Like huge, huge wooded areas. | ||
| I mean, the whole town was just, it's not there anymore. | ||
| Was it Paradise? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Done. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| There's no town left? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing's there? | |
| Nothing. | ||
| The whole town burned down, pretty sure. | ||
| Go to that. | ||
| Pull up paradisecalifornia.com. | ||
| Is that a place? | ||
| The website's just down now. | ||
| Do you see they fired the frickin' some of the firefighters and like relief people because they were taking pictures like, not even mocking. | ||
| I don't think they should have been fired because it was like an all burnt down house and then there was like, I don't know, like a wooden horse and then like firefighters like on the wooden horse. | ||
| Like, oh, you're mocking the people who lost their homes and they lost their jobs? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| These guys are fighting for their life out there. | ||
| They have nothing to do with it. | ||
| Not only that, the horse is there. | ||
| It's like, what do you give a shit? | ||
| The house is burnt to the ground. | ||
| You really think it's in that poor taste for these poor guys who risked their lives to save people's houses to have a good time? | ||
| Whoa, is that real? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| They should have made it out of those trees. | ||
| Those trees are still standing. | ||
| Those trees are pretty gangster. | ||
| Yeah, like, what's going on? | ||
| Like, at a certain point in time, we're going to have to make fireproof houses. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Yeah, does that exist? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Make them out of cinder block. | ||
| Or you gotta do what Kanye did and just have your own freaking fire department just surround your house just in case. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| In my neighborhood, there's a house that burnt to the ground. | ||
| I put pictures of it up on my Instagram. | ||
| There's a car in the driveway. | ||
| But the... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| This picture's terrifying. | ||
| Oh, dude, you're talking... | ||
| Armageddon style. | ||
| This picture is terrifying. | ||
| What we're looking at is rows of houses that are gone. | ||
| It looks like it goes for... | ||
| An entire neighborhood. | ||
| It's an entire neighborhood wiped out. | ||
| It looks like a mile. | ||
| And just there's nothing left. | ||
| Everything's burnt to the ground. | ||
| But it's amazing. | ||
| Those trees are still standing. | ||
| Look at those trees. | ||
| I mean, they're torched, but yeah, they're there. | ||
| Yeah, but it's weird. | ||
| They're black as fuck. | ||
| Isn't it weird? | ||
| Wouldn't you expect the trees to be burnt to a crisp? | ||
| Yeah, they're so thick. | ||
| The other thing is, where did I fly? | ||
| Oh, coming from Edmund, I flew down, so from north to south. | ||
| And when you go over Malibu and Woodland Hills and where you live, when you see all that, it's insane from a bird's eye view. | ||
| You can just see all the black when you're flying into L.A. Well, I flew over Malibu with Burr in a helicopter, so we got real low. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Crazy? | ||
| Look at this McDonald's burnt to the ground. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know that motherfucker burned. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That bridge burnt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How the fuck does a bridge burn down the steel? | |
| No, it's wooden. | ||
| Oh, was it a wooden bridge? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Everything's gone. | ||
| So, is that the case? | ||
| That the whole town is evaporating? | ||
| Paradise is gone. | ||
| Yeah, pretty sure. | ||
| Paradise is no bueno. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck do those people do now? | |
| You don't rebuild, right? | ||
| You're like, whoa. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And then also a lot of it, and this is just from my own experience, down here, looking at homes in areas where there's chances of fire that were caused by fires, banks won't give you the loan or you have to put a higher, almost all cash payment down. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And also the house insurance on a fire area, they're not going to do it these days. | ||
| But what are they going to do with a place like Malibu? | ||
| Because Malibu got hit harder than anything. | ||
| They lost 600 plus houses. | ||
| Find out if that's true. | ||
| I know they said they lost like 1,500 structures, but someone told me that 600 of those were houses. | ||
| And if you're talking about Malibu, Like, when Burr and I were flying around the coastline over by Point Doom, you know, those beautiful... | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| James Beach area? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's the cliffs. | ||
| I know what you're talking about, though. | ||
| Woosley Fire... | ||
| Worst fire to hit Malibu with home losses topping $1.6 billion. | ||
| I feel like we don't hear about it. | ||
| 620 structures destroyed. | ||
| I feel like we don't hear about it so much because I think people assume everyone in Malibu has money. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're a higher tax bracket, so they'll figure it out. | ||
| It's still super fucked up, man. | ||
| Well, I have friends that don't have a lot of money, but they build houses. | ||
| And one of the houses they were living in and the other house they were building... | ||
| And both houses got torched. | ||
| 400 single-family houses with an estimated market value of $1.6 billion. | ||
| So 670 structures, 400 of them are houses. | ||
| That's horrible, man. | ||
| It's weird to fly over, man. | ||
| When you fly over it, because with the helicopter, Burr was pretty close. | ||
| Yeah, we were right above it and circling, just outside, right over the ocean. | ||
| And as you're doing it, flying over the ocean, you're looking at these compounds. | ||
| They're probably $50 million houses. | ||
| I mean, these fucking massive, massive compounds burnt to the ground. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| Not a goddamn thing they could do about it. | ||
| How good of a pilot is Burr? | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| We almost died three times. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| No, he's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| He's really good at it. | ||
| He's been doing it for a while? | ||
| When I saw that picture, I'm like, oh, fuck, man. | ||
| I trust that guy 100%. | ||
| If he told me that he was going to take me up in a helicopter, he knows how to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a good time, man. | ||
| We had fun. | ||
| We had a lot of laughs. | ||
| Is it fun? | ||
| So much fun. | ||
| You're up in a helicopter with one of the greatest comedians that ever lived. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're having a good fucking time. | ||
| We're just howling. | ||
| Me and him. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| And we're talking through headphones because it's like... | ||
| So you got a little fucking... | ||
| Like commando or some shit. | ||
| Hell yeah, that's sick. | ||
| A little microphone. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Helicopters scare me, man. | ||
| It was a good time. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| It scared the fuck out of me. | ||
| It's weird how close you can get to downtown LA. There's no real restrictions. | ||
| You just fly right next to the buildings. | ||
| I'm like, this is okay? | ||
| Because it's a helicopter? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was us right there. | ||
| It was just flying around. | ||
| I mean, we were just flying right next to these buildings, and we were the height of the buildings. | ||
| And all those big buildings, see those flat spots in all those buildings? | ||
| Those are all helicopter pads. | ||
| Landing pads, huh? | ||
| Yeah, and some of them are real narrow. | ||
| And Bill was like, I wouldn't want to land on that fucking thing on a windy day. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god, I didn't even think about that. | ||
| Hold up, it was just you and Byrd? | ||
| Was there a third guy? | ||
| There was a third guy. | ||
| Yeah, the third guy was an instructor. | ||
| He's the guy that teaches Bill. | ||
| Oh, gotcha. | ||
| But Bill can fly solo. | ||
| He has a license to fly solo. | ||
| He flies a lot, right? | ||
| Yeah, he flies. | ||
| God, I'm just not into that. | ||
| I think it'd be awesome to get up there and do that. | ||
| It's just not... | ||
| Pros and cons, man. | ||
| Pros. | ||
| You fly around a little bit, get real high. | ||
| Con. | ||
| Die. | ||
| Yeah, but it seemed pretty controlled. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| But there's no, like, there's no room for error, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, unless you're Harrison Ford, remember he crashed in Santa Monica? | ||
| But he crashed a plane. | ||
| Straight up plane, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Helicopter. | |
| Crashed in Santa Monica? | ||
| He crashed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where'd he crashed? | ||
| Uh, I forget. | ||
| Look that up, Jamie. | ||
| He flew out of Santa Monica Airport and then was like, ah, fuck, it went down. | ||
| Because he's so high all the time, I hear. | ||
| Is he really? | ||
| Oh, dude, he smokes. | ||
| Like fucking Cheech and Chong, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Harrison Ford? | ||
| Harrison Ford blazes it up. | ||
| I think when you get that famous, you probably just want to be high all the time because life is a dream anyway. | ||
| I just think there's nothing else to do and he's just like, I don't know, man. | ||
| It's Han Solo. | ||
| That doesn't keep you busy? | ||
| 30 years ago. | ||
| We just did one a couple years ago. | ||
| He had a cameo in it. | ||
| He wasn't like the main guy. | ||
| That's why people were pissed, right? | ||
| He got murked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he? | |
| I'm not a Star Wars guy. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Dude, that came out forever ago. | ||
| There's no spoiler alert. | ||
| There is. | ||
| For everything, there's a spoiler alert now. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| People are seeing Game of Thrones now for the first time. | ||
| There's dragons, assholes. | ||
| It's like with that Dan Amore escape. | ||
| You've seen that on Showtime? | ||
| No. | ||
| You know those two guys? | ||
| Harrison Ford saved several lives by landing plane on a golf course. | ||
| Yeah, you know, what the fuck does that mean? | ||
| Scroll down. | ||
| What is that kind of fucking World War II plane? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Santa Monica. | |
| There you go. | ||
| Fucking Han Solo. | ||
| Indiana Jones went, you know what? | ||
| Just walked away and went, fuck this noise. | ||
| Looking where he crashed and how the plane went down, I'm sure there was a moment where he said, I'm not going to risk lives. | ||
| Whatever happens, happens. | ||
| It's going to be just me. | ||
| 72-year-old actor suffered moderate injuries after crashing the vehicle. | ||
| The vintage two-seater... | ||
| Oh, he's flying a fucking old plane. | ||
| A vintage plane that he was piloting on a green golf course Thursday afternoon. | ||
| He had lacerations to his face and possible fractures. | ||
| Television news footage taken showed him on a stretcher being taken into an ambulance. | ||
| He risked life and limb by putting it down on the golf course instead of trying to go further, try to get back to the airport. | ||
| Notice how Harrison Ford, he's not quoted anything. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| How about we were on the Fox lot, Brian and I were, when we worked for Fox, and this Tesla pulls in, and it's all tinted windows, and it rolled down the window, it's Harrison Ford, and I go, I tell Brian, oh shit, that's fucking Indiana Jones, like joking around, and Brian, I didn't know how big of a Harrison Ford fan is, Brian gets super nervous, and Harrison looks at him, and Brian goes like this. | ||
| Gives him a peace sign. | ||
| I've never seen a grown man give another grown man a peace sign. | ||
| Harrison Ford just goes... | ||
| Doesn't even acknowledge the peace sign. | ||
| Just keeps on going. | ||
| Bro, you just gave deuces to fucking Indiana Jones. | ||
| I would do that. | ||
| It was so great. | ||
| I give peace signs to people. | ||
| I give peace signs to people. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Alien? | ||
| We come in peace? | ||
| You go like this? | ||
| I'll do that. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I do like this. | ||
| That's three fingers. | ||
| Well, no, this is kind of like, yo, not a wave, but this. | ||
| This is kind of halt. | ||
| This is I'm reaching for you. | ||
| I'm reaching for you. | ||
| And if you go too high, it's the Hail Hitler. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| I gotta tell you, man, now I'm thinking I give peace signs to people all the time. | ||
| You do this? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Like a 14-year-old Korean teenager girl? | ||
| Yep, exactly. | ||
| 13. 13-year-old teenager girl. | ||
| Peace out. | ||
| Nothing wrong with that. | ||
| My kids do the peace sign all the time, but they do sideways. | ||
| Like this? | ||
| They'll take pictures, they go like this. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| Lips out, though. | ||
| They'll do like this hand forward, this hand backward. | ||
| Like this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, that's what Brian did to Harrison Ford. | ||
| Look at that picture right there. | ||
| That's me, bro. | ||
| But imagine running up to Harrison Ford and doing that. | ||
| Freaked him the fuck out, man. | ||
| And he's high off his ass. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's driving that fucking electric dune buggy. | ||
| It was great, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's... | ||
| I wonder what he does with his spare time, other than fly planes. | ||
| Like, when you make that much money, and you're that famous, and then you just sit around, what do you do? | ||
| I don't know, but there's certain guys at that level, right? | ||
| Like, he's so famous. | ||
| He's a whole other level. | ||
| But I was thinking about last night, when Dave Chappelle walked in, and it was like, you know, you're around, Burr's around, there's some of the greatest comics in the world. | ||
| Then when Dave Chappelle walks in, I wonder if it's weird for him because I can feel the room, like, everyone just stares at him. | ||
| And then he was in the OR, and I was in there before he went on, and there's, I mean... | ||
| There wasn't a seat. | ||
| I mean, people are in the hallways just watching him do his thing. | ||
| He was up there, I don't know, an hour, two hours, just not really doing a set, just feeling it out. | ||
| I went, man, that must be weird where he's at in life that he just goes up there and everything shuts down for him as a comic. | ||
| He's not working out. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, he's definitely working out. | ||
| That's how he works out. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| But it's different than if somebody yells. | ||
| Like, all eyes are on him all the time, nonstop. | ||
| So even him working out, it's funny as fuck. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, he handles it remarkably well. | ||
| Like, the way he's just around people. | ||
| Like, even though he's super-duper ridiculous famous, he handles it like he's not. | ||
| Like, he wanders through. | ||
| But man, when people start grabbing at him and wanting pictures and shit, it's so embarrassing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| They just, they won't let them talk to people. | ||
| Like, say if you're talking to them, they don't care if you're locked in a conversation about your mom's cancer. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just, yo bro, can I get a picture of Dave, Dave Chappelle? | |
| They freak out. | ||
| They freak out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just like, this is my time to dress up my Facebook page. | |
| And they get there with that, and they just, they move in on them like a fucking hawk. | ||
| Wah! | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| People don't respect another person having a conversation. | ||
| They don't wait. | ||
| No one sits around and waits. | ||
| In their head, if they don't grab them right now, they're never going to get that picture. | ||
| So it doesn't matter who he's talking to. | ||
| I've seen it too. | ||
| I was talking to The Rock once. | ||
| And this dude literally slid in between us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| And held his phone up to The Rock. | ||
| Slid in between us. | ||
| Just didn't ask. | ||
| He was taking the picture as he was asking. | ||
| He just came in to take a picture with you? | ||
| And just like, in between us. | ||
| Like, I'm talking to him. | ||
| Hey, what's up, man? | ||
| Did you have a good time? | ||
| And then this guy slides in. | ||
| He's got the camera up. | ||
| Like, no thought whatsoever for people's space. | ||
| And what did The Rock do? | ||
| He's probably used to it by now. | ||
| He swallowed. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Handled it like a man. | |
| It's just such a bummer, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Because there's a certain point of fame with Chappelle, The Rock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're probably pretty fucking close to that, where you can't even go through the airport. | ||
| Like, I had to go through the airport one time with Tim Tebow. | ||
| I think right after he won this huge playoff game. | ||
| Does he get on a knee before he gets in the plane? | ||
| No, he assumes Jesus is taking care of him. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, Jesus take the wheel. | ||
| And I knew I was safe as fuck next to him, so I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| So going through the airport with him, I felt bad for him. | ||
| I mean, you're talking, you can't get anywhere. | ||
| There's just like this mob. | ||
| Dude, this is exhausting. | ||
| Exhausting. | ||
| There has to be a certain level where that's just not cool, man. | ||
| Well, what changed was phones. | ||
| Cameras on phones. | ||
| And then social media because everybody wants a picture. | ||
| Whereas before, I guess people would just want autographs and no one had a camera with them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now the autograph is the selfie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no more autographs. | ||
| There might be a few at a show, but when's the last time someone came with you and asked for an autograph? | ||
| The other day, but it's like 100 to 1. Pictures to selfies. | ||
| It's all selfies. | ||
| Yeah, it's all selfies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| This is the life we chose. | ||
| This is the weird world we live in. | ||
| Well, take it easy. | ||
| I'm not Tim Tebow and freaking Joe Rogan. | ||
| You can walk through an airport. | ||
| You get bombed on. | ||
| Yeah, I can walk through an airport. | ||
| It gets weird, but I can do it. | ||
| But like Chappelle, it'd be tough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Tom Cruise. | ||
| That motherfucker can't walk through an airport. | ||
| Yeah, but you're Tom Cruise. | ||
| You got Tom Cruise money. | ||
| You're going private. | ||
| LAX, he laughs. | ||
| He laughs. | ||
| That's the best joke he's heard. | ||
| Like, you bring up LAX or Tom Cruise, like, what the fuck? | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Well, we flew over his jet when we were with Burr. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, the Van Nuys Airport. | ||
| Flew over the Tom Cruise experience. | ||
| I feel like he autographs his jet. | ||
| Does it have, like, his signature on it? | ||
| I think his jet has a button that you can press, and then it's all covered in screens, and it turns into the clouds behind it and becomes invisible like the Wonder Woman jet. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| It's fucking Tom Cruise, man. | ||
| But don't you think that guy has probably a lot of expenses? | ||
| I always assume that a guy like that, not only do they have a lot of money, but they burn through a lot of money. | ||
| So they have to keep making a lot of money. | ||
| Is that true, though? | ||
| Or are we assuming everyone's Johnny Depp and has 19 houses and buying old pirate ships for $30 billion? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And they're just making horrible life decisions. | ||
| That's the same thing with athletes or even comics or entertainers. | ||
| If I post something, let's say I post my car or something like that, like, good luck, bro, in three years when you go broke, I'm like, no, I know the bad stories. | ||
| I get that, man. | ||
| I'm a smart dude. | ||
| I've made it this far. | ||
| You can't listen to those people. | ||
| They just hope you're going broke. | ||
| No, but there's that stigma of the 30 for 30 ESPN broke. | ||
| Not everyone's like that, man. | ||
| I hate to tell you. | ||
| Not all entertainers are fucking rappers where we're just blowing through money. | ||
| It doesn't work like that. | ||
| I'm in a business where it's not the UFC where your average career's a year and a half or two years. | ||
| It's not professional sports. | ||
| Well, once you get into the world of podcasting... | ||
| Podcasting's a weird thing, right? | ||
| It's like, what are we doing? | ||
| We're just talking. | ||
| You know, this is what our art form is, shit people already do. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's weird if you think about it. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| You know, there's no other art form where everybody does it. | ||
| Yeah, everyone does it. | ||
| Everybody does it. | ||
| Not everybody paints. | ||
| No, but with- When was the last time you painted? | ||
| Well, I paint with my son. | ||
| Right, but on your own. | ||
| When was the last time you went down to Michael's, got a canvas? | ||
| Never, never, because I don't suck dick. | ||
| I can't paint, bro. | ||
| There's a lot of painters that don't suck dick, you son of a bitch. | ||
| You'd be surprised, but there are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my. | |
| But I'm talking about taking time out of my day to paint a flower. | ||
| There's a lot of heterosexual male painters that admire you, that are listening to this right now. | ||
| I love you guys, man. | ||
| Paint me something cool, bro. | ||
| They have their paintbrush in their hand right now, and they're like, fuck this guy. | ||
| I'm going to paint Shaw with a big old dick in his mouth. | ||
| Do it! | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| With podcasts, it's weird, but it's also the gateway to an unfiltered medium where before with TV and movies and stuff like, you know, with like, name any... | ||
| I'm trying to think of a... | ||
| Like Dax Shepard, right? | ||
| He's an actor. | ||
| He's an actor and he has a podcast. | ||
| Well, if you just watch his movies, you don't know shit about him. | ||
| He's playing a character. | ||
| But you can go on his podcast, you listen to him talk, like, oh, fuck. | ||
| We're into a lot of the same things. | ||
| Oh, damn, he's struggling with his wife? | ||
| God, I have the same issues. | ||
| Oh, damn, he's struggling with his kids. | ||
| And then you find out we're all the exact same. | ||
| But you'd never get that if there weren't podcasts. | ||
| You wouldn't. | ||
| You're not going to get that off an ESPN interview. | ||
| You're not going to get any of that ever. | ||
| That's why podcasting is taking over, I think. | ||
| Well, it's also because no one can tell you what to do. | ||
| You know, you can have conversations that no one can steer. | ||
| There's no executives gonna come in and stop you. | ||
| If you fuck up, it's your fuck up. | ||
| And then if you apologize, it's an apology that you make yourself. | ||
| You don't feel good about what you did. | ||
| You express remorse. | ||
| Which I do all the time. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| That's the way to go, though. | ||
| I talk a lot of shit. | ||
| I don't want to say shit. | ||
| I go, and then I'll think about something like with Nowitzki. | ||
| I like Jeff Nowitzki. | ||
| I really like him. | ||
| The one time I met him, he's a great dude. | ||
| We had a joke about it. | ||
| The nickname, the Golden Snitch. | ||
| Good dude. | ||
| Look right there, right next to you. | ||
| Oh, is this the shirt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Thank you, Joe. | ||
| I will rock the shit out of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's pretty dope. | ||
| Hold that up for the camera. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| For sure, let me or Joe design your shirts. | ||
| That's a good shirt. | ||
| It's a decent shirt. | ||
| I like it a lot. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool. | ||
| But, like, with him, right? | ||
| Like, I go off on something, and then when I talk to you about it, I'm like, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. | ||
| It's just like, to me, it's a game. | ||
| But when you think about, like, he might have to deal with it in the office. | ||
| People are like, dude, you hurt Shaab this, or gets DM'd this. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want that. | ||
| That's the last thing I want. | ||
| Well, you made an error in that you thought that he worked for USADA, and he never worked for USADA. He worked for the UFC. You said he worked for the USADA, and now he works for the UFC. But he never really worked for USADA. He worked for the government. | ||
| He worked very closely with USADA. He worked for the UFC. He worked for the UFC. He works for the UFC now. | ||
| No, he coordinated the UFC's meeting with USADA, and he put it all together. | ||
| He's the vice president of athletes' safety, health and safety, is that what it is? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| For the UFC now. | ||
| That's what he's always had. | ||
| No, that's not true. | ||
| Before that, he worked for the government. | ||
| Yes, but he's worked hand-in-hand with USADA. Not as an employee. | ||
| Right, but he never worked for USADA. No, he's never worked for USADA. I think he was working for the IRS. Pretty sure. | ||
| Yeah, my point was, he's never got a... | ||
| I don't know if he's ever got a check from USADA. He's been in cahoots with them. | ||
| They work hand in hand. | ||
| FDA. FDA. That's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's when he was investigating Lance Armstrong, right? | ||
| Yeah, Lance Armstrong. | ||
| Every time I talk to Novitski, I get text messages from Lance Armstrong. | ||
| Makes sense, though, right? | ||
| He's so salty. | ||
| Why wouldn't you be? | ||
| I mean, are you kidding me, bro? | ||
| I see why he would be salty, but I also... | ||
| He has to accept... | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I think that he did some things that he shouldn't have done. | ||
| And I'm not even just talking about the steroids. | ||
| I'm talking about suing the people that came out and said that he took the steroids. | ||
| That's where he's fucked up. | ||
| That's where he's fucked up. | ||
| Because just doing PEDs and cycling, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Do it, bro, and you're the best at it. | ||
| He still would have been the best of the level playing field. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| But where he fucked up is he was mean and bullied the people that were trying to snitch on him, or if they weren't into the PEDs, or if they were going to tell on him, he kind of fucked them over. | ||
| That's where it gets dark, and that's where people hate him. | ||
| So I get that. | ||
| But in his defense, and this is a shaky defense, they went after those people to get to him. | ||
| They went after those people and they broke those people down and made those people rat on him. | ||
| And then he was threatening them with lawsuits sort of to protect himself. | ||
| But even before that, right? | ||
| There was a little bit of a bully culture coming from him. | ||
| Which is why... | ||
| Fucking competitor. | ||
| He's a mean guy. | ||
| You know, a lot of like... | ||
| Most people are. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| You're right about that. | ||
| I was just talking about this the other day. | ||
| And this... | ||
| T.J. Dillshaw's a great guy and he fights Saturday. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| But he's mean. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Great guy, but if you say, hey TJ, if you knock him out with a head kick, his family won't eat tonight in order for you to win this fight, he's going to knock you out with a head kick. | ||
| He's the most ultra-competitive guy in the world. | ||
| And it shows in training, it shows in practice. | ||
| I mean, he's a nasty motherfucker. | ||
| Do you know he only weighs 135 pounds right now? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's ready to go. | ||
| But he got his body down to 135 pounds before the weight cut. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He looks so thin. | ||
| Freak. | ||
| I saw him on ESPN last night, and they were discussing he might fight Max, or he wants to fight Max next. | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
| He wants to fight 145 after this, but that's a 20-pound jump in weight. | ||
| And Max is a giant 45er. | ||
| That's a bad idea, but you never know with TJ. Hey, who knows? | ||
| I mean, if he can get his body up to 165... | ||
| Dude, have you seen Henry Cejudo, though? | ||
| Jacked. | ||
| Pico on picos. | ||
| Just kidding. | ||
| He's going to clear the test. | ||
| I'm just joking around. | ||
| He looks like he's pulsing. | ||
| Yeah, he might not make weight. | ||
| He's jack city, bro. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if he's going to make the weight. | ||
| I bet he makes it. | ||
| I bet he makes it, too. | ||
| He's never missed. | ||
| He's missed a bunch of times. | ||
| Henry Cejudo? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| At 125? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's why they made him fight at 135 for a while. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Well, you do know your shit. | ||
| A bunch, though? | ||
| More than once. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Looks pretty stacked. | ||
| Good-looking kid. | ||
| He's a thick dude. | ||
| He's a short dude, isn't he? | ||
| He's probably walking around at... | ||
| More than 45. I would say he's more than 45. Dude, he's so short, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I still think he's more than 145 pounds. | ||
| Dude, that's a tough life if you're that short and you're not an Olympic champion. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I was looking at him the other day in a video, I'm like, God damn, he's tiny. | ||
| What is he, 5'2"? | ||
| 5'2", 5'3". | ||
| I'm only five inches away from that. | ||
| Five inches? | ||
| That's a lifetime, bro, for those. | ||
| Five inches? | ||
| You know how much money they would pay to have five inches? | ||
| They do pay. | ||
| Do you ever see what they do? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They stretch your bones. | ||
| Where they break them and then extend them? | ||
| Dude, you know how crazy you have to be to get your shins extended? | ||
| They cut your shins. | ||
| They saw into you. | ||
| And then they put this metal brace all around you, like a halo brace. | ||
| And then you crank it a little bit every day. | ||
| Click, click, click. | ||
| And for what? | ||
| Click, click, click. | ||
| Get a couple inches taller. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| For what? | ||
| So it's an ego thing? | ||
| No, so you can get laid. | ||
| I was watching this documentary on Chinese guys. | ||
| This guy was like, he had these braces on his leg and he's like, my girlfriend, she wouldn't marry me because I'm too short, but I'm going to come to her and I'm going to be over five feet tall for the first time. | ||
| He's under five feet tall. | ||
| Get another girl. | ||
| Fuck that hoe. | ||
| It's hard to get a girl when you're 4'9". | ||
| The biggest problem is if you have a short dick. | ||
| Yeah, but the biggest problem is if you're 4'9", they don't want to see your dick. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He went from five... | ||
| What did it say? | ||
| He gained six inches. | ||
| Five six to six foot. | ||
| Okay, let me see this. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| He's a thicky on the left. | ||
| He gained six inches? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From stretching his fucking bones out? | ||
| Let me see what it says there. | ||
| How unhappy do you have to be with your body to do that? | ||
| up there nip tuck grow five foot six inch man underwent astonishing leg lengthening procedure because he wanted to be six foot tall oh he started at five six and he got up to six feet tall jeez Jesus! | ||
| But how fucking damaging is that? | ||
| Let me see, the procedure in which both legs are broken, then slowly stretched, bears more than a little resemblance to medieval torture. | ||
| Let me see what this fucking guy did to his- Oh my god! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| That has to be some mental health issue, yeah? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Well, maybe if you wanted to really play football. | ||
| The trend for limb lengthening surgery swept China, where minimum heights are often quoted on personal adverts and job advertisements as the country opened up to the West a decade ago. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing on his leg, man. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So what we're looking at here, it looks like they cut an inch out of his bone, but then they have this bar that runs through it. | ||
| So that's his femur, man. | ||
| Dude, that's a terrible idea. | ||
| That's his upper leg bone. | ||
| That's not even his shin. | ||
| How do you think he's going to feel when he's 70? | ||
| That can't be good. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And for what? | ||
| To be five inches taller? | ||
| Dude, get a skill. | ||
| You know what chicks dig over height? | ||
| Skill, man. | ||
| Get funny. | ||
| Get a fucking... | ||
| 650 leg lengthening procedures in West Palm Beach, Florida. | ||
| Not all to remedy deformity. | ||
| Some of them to remedy deformity, which makes sense. | ||
| Now, how long do you think it takes for them to fucking recover from something like that? | ||
| A lifetime. | ||
| Oh, they have height dysphoria. | ||
| So it's sort of like anorexia with their height. | ||
| It's a mental disorder. | ||
| It's one of the few psychiatric disorders that you can actually cure with the knife. | ||
| Says the surgeon. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Yeah, says the surgeon trying to sell this bullshit. | ||
| What a doctor uses the term knife. | ||
| Are you really using a knife, bro? | ||
| Don't you have a scalpel? | ||
| I'm probably not going to that guy. | ||
| What I can cure with a saw. | ||
| It costs 85 grand. | ||
| Look what it says he does here. | ||
| Surgery is not for the faint-hearted. | ||
| The leg bone is broken in two. | ||
| The doctor then implants a state-of-the-art telescopic rod. | ||
| Into the cartilage of the bone, which then pulls it apart very gradually, one millimeter a day. | ||
| New living bone grows along it to fill the gap in muscles and nerves. | ||
| The arteries and skin also renew themselves. | ||
| The cost is prohibitive. | ||
| $85,000 takes at least three months to complete. | ||
| Grueling physical therapy is essential. | ||
| Look at that one! | ||
| Look at the gap in his fucking leg! | ||
| Look how big that gap is! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| You ain't playing any sports. | ||
| Imagine just walking up that guy and leg kicking him. | ||
| Yeah, I was just thinking that. | ||
| Imagine if he decides to do Muay Thai. | ||
| I bet you his, like, where your leg is vulnerable has changed, right? | ||
| Dude, if your girl's a thick one. | ||
| Like, the geometry of your leg is, like, if your leg is a certain, like, if your bones are a certain width, I would imagine there's like a... | ||
| Like, it all makes sense pretty much in terms of, like, mathematics. | ||
| Like, how long your knee is, or how long your femur is, it would be a certain thickness. | ||
| But then if you spread it out, it's like the thickness of a shorter one, but now it's long, and it's probably more vulnerable. | ||
| It can't be safe, like stilt. | ||
| It's the Make Me Taller community I just found. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Introduction to leg lengthening and frequently asked questions. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| There's only 30 posts, though, dude. | ||
| Well, that's just FAQ. This one's got 300 posts. | ||
| This is 3,000 posts down here. | ||
| Patient Diaries. | ||
| Not a ton, though. | ||
| Of what they've gone through. | ||
| I'd be more worried about lengthening my dick. | ||
| Is there a lengthening dick community? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You know what they do? | ||
| They're all Asian. | ||
| They hang weights on... | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| What? | ||
| Racist. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's life. | ||
| There's gotta be some Asians with giant hogs out there. | ||
| I feel like we'd know about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Because that guy would be flaunting his shit. | ||
| Make me a longer community then? | ||
| Yeah, make me a bigger cock community. | ||
| Because there's procedures you can do to cut it, right? | ||
| Just Google, how do I get a bigger cock? | ||
| You can get a virus, bro. | ||
| You can get a virus at every porn site. | ||
| There's the pumps. | ||
| There's the pumps. | ||
| The thing is, if it was something that really worked, everybody would know about it. | ||
| Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. | ||
| Any room you walked in with a bunch of dudes like, dude, you see that new fucking device? | ||
| Get your dick bigger? | ||
| Everybody would. | ||
| See, devices and dicks, those two words don't go together. | ||
| Like a device, I think of them like clamps and screws. | ||
| Do you ever see a penis pump from Austin Powers? | ||
| I've seen one. | ||
| I've never seen one in person being used with a blown up dick inside of it. | ||
| I've never seen it being used, but I've seen one in person. | ||
| And it's very, I mean, it's intense, dude. | ||
| I've heard that some guys, especially old fellas, they use one of them penis pumps to just get hard-ons. | ||
| Oh, yeah, but it's attached to them? | ||
| No, they have that, too. | ||
| That was in Liberace, in the candelabra. | ||
| Oh, I love that movie. | ||
| That movie's so good. | ||
| When he was banging Matt Damon 24-7, Matt Damon was like, how do you stay hard? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Got an implant. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, that movie's so good. | ||
| That's a crazy movie, man. | ||
| That'd be a weird movie to make if you're Matt Damon. | ||
| Because they're like, he talks about it too. | ||
| There's a scene where, spoiler alert, there's a scene where he's in a Speedo and Michael Douglas is just like laying down in the pool and he straddles him and just full on, ah, ah. | ||
| You know, Matt Damon's straight as shit. | ||
| He's playing a character. | ||
| That'd be tough though. | ||
| If Hollywood came to me and was like, Brennan, we need you to play the new Batman, but you gotta go at it with the Joker, mouth to mouth. | ||
| You guys are bumpy. | ||
| There he is in the movie. | ||
| Yeah, you'd be like, yeah. | ||
| It'd be a little bit of a struggle. | ||
| That's a hard pass. | ||
| How much do you say? | ||
| Do you think you could live in Las Vegas like that? | ||
| Do you think you could do a residency in Las Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What if they offered you the big brown boom boom room? | ||
| Like the big man poo-poo room? | ||
| Like the fucking... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Like Mandalay Bay? | ||
| Like Jay Leno type of shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're getting 30 million a year? | ||
| Yeah, something crazy like that. | ||
| Like a Britney Spears type deal. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| And this is different for me. | ||
| I have such a stressful connotation when it comes to Vegas because of fighting. | ||
| Whenever I think of Vegas, I think of stress, stress, stress. | ||
| So as soon as I land in Vegas, I get all introverted and I start sweating. | ||
| It's just not... | ||
| I've done so much work there. | ||
| I was on the Ultimate Fighter there for eight weeks. | ||
| I've had some huge fights there. | ||
| So for me, when I think of Vegas, I think of chaos, like stressful, dark chaos. | ||
| So it'd be tough for me to live there for... | ||
| That'd be really tough. | ||
| Like, those people who do residency for, like, two years, could you do it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Um, I don't think I could... | ||
| Well, I think the thing about Vegas is you gotta not live in Vegas. | ||
| Like, you don't wanna have, like, uh... | ||
| A suite. | ||
| Yeah, in Mandalay Bay or something like that. | ||
| I think the move is to live in like Henderson or something like that. | ||
| Like by Red Rocks? | ||
| Yeah, or one of those places. | ||
| And you just drive in. | ||
| I think that's the move. | ||
| Because then you're just living in a town. | ||
| Not even a big town. | ||
| See, I would say fuck all that noise, and I'd probably, if they offered me $30 million, I'd probably hire a Bill Burr fucking helicopter pilot type of dude, and I'd live in LA and just fly out there on Fridays. | ||
| I think it's a long flight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| A helicopter? | ||
| Doesn't Tosh do something like that or used to it when he was going there? | ||
| He would just fly in like Friday night on a plane, that 25 minute flight it is. | ||
| Well, was he doing that a lot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| Yeah, he was for a while. | ||
| Friday, Saturday or something like that. | ||
| They might stay the night, but they'd be back within 36 hours or something like that. | ||
| I cannot live there, man. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| Just because of your past experience. | ||
| That and just in general, it's just not for me. | ||
| It's not my type of living. | ||
| Because Ralphie May had a residency there for a while. | ||
| He was doing it, but that's where he died. | ||
| I know Eddie Griffin has a residency. | ||
| Dice had a residency there for a while. | ||
| Seinfeld did, too. | ||
| I think he still does. | ||
| Seinfeld in Vegas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just, there's a lot of great stuff there, right? | ||
| Like, what do you like to do? | ||
| Do you like to go to restaurants? | ||
| Great restaurants. | ||
| What do you like to do? | ||
| Do you like to go to the movie theater? | ||
| There's plenty of movies. | ||
| Great shows. | ||
| Yeah, there's plenty of gyms. | ||
| Amazing places to work out. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff there. | ||
| I just, I don't know, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know that's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm sweating talking about it. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I just, Vegas. | ||
| I have some great friends who live in Vegas, and some of the best people I know live in Vegas. | ||
| Some of the best people I know work in the nightclubs. | ||
| You know what we need to do? | ||
| We need to sit down before big events and make a YouTube video where we're just breaking down each event, like, fight by fight as it comes up. | ||
| I think people would really enjoy that. | ||
| You and me breaking down the big fight? | ||
| Yeah, breaking down big events, you know? | ||
| Good idea. | ||
| If I didn't work for the UFC, I would love to go there and just cover the weigh-ins as a spectator. | ||
| But as unfiltered, no production, you and me just talking shit. | ||
| I don't like doing the weigh-ins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stressful. | |
| I try to pronounce people's names. | ||
| Piotr Jan. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| There couldn't be a worse job for me if you asked me to pronounce everyone's names correctly. | ||
| Some of these Russian cats, their names are off the charts. | ||
| And it starts with a G and a Z, but you gotta use a Y. Not for me. | ||
| You gotta say it like a Y. You're like, what? | ||
| Not for me. | ||
| What is the name? | ||
| Yeah, I have to write it out phonetically. | ||
| How much longer do you think you'd do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Just between me and you, no one's listening. | ||
| No one's listening. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do enjoy it though. | ||
| Have you ever thought about it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
But why? | |
| I cut way back. | ||
| First of all, I was doing too many of them. | ||
| At one point in time, I was doing 24 a year. | ||
| It was way too many. | ||
| It was like half the weekends in the year, I was flying somewhere to go to the UFC. But that's when you did international as well. | ||
| Yeah, it was too much. | ||
| And that was before the UFC really started adding a bunch of people, and it took a lot of the weight off of me. | ||
| I'm sad they got rid of Jimmy Smith. | ||
| I think Jimmy Smith's really good. | ||
| I think he's really good, but sometimes it's just not a fit. | ||
| I didn't find him, and maybe he didn't get his fair shot. | ||
| I think he's one of the best commentators in the world. | ||
| But it never felt right. | ||
| Maybe because he didn't get to do it enough. | ||
| He's brilliant at his job, but it never felt right to me. | ||
| It was like watching Joe Montana play for the Chiefs. | ||
| Well, I'm selfish. | ||
| He's my friend. | ||
| I was happy he was there. | ||
| I think he's really good. | ||
| I love Jimmy. | ||
| I think he's great. | ||
| I think he's going to go on since whoever finds him can be lucky. | ||
| But the writing was on the wall because you would see DC who's amazing. | ||
| I'd see Paul Felder who's amazing. | ||
| Dominic Cruz. | ||
| Michael Bisping. | ||
| It's like, well, of course Jimmy's not going to have a job. | ||
| They're going to use the in-house guys. | ||
| That's the direction they're going. | ||
| Yeah, I guess so. | ||
| I wonder if he could do play-by-play, you know, like the ones that Anik doesn't want to do. | ||
| Hey, Anik, go home to your kids. | ||
| Don't you have, like, seven daughters? | ||
| Dude, go home to your fucking kids. | ||
| John knows I love them, but I see them at Brazil, and then he'll post, like, two days of sleep, you know, been on the road 19 days in a row. | ||
| I'm like, dude, go home, bro. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| There's not a better commentating team in the history of combat sports when it's you, DC, and John Anik. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's a fun one, too. | ||
| DC's himself, and he's one of the best fighters of all time. | ||
| Very fucking good. | ||
| He's a brilliant dude. | ||
| And then you do your thing, and that's... | ||
| He's... | ||
| DC's so loose, too. | ||
| Like, he makes it silly. | ||
| He's a special dude. | ||
| Like, when Rose knocked out Ioannion Jacek, he's like, Thug Rose! | ||
| That's what you want. | ||
| Thug Rose! | ||
| You can't pay for that. | ||
| That's natural. | ||
| That's... | ||
| You either got it, you don't, and he has it. | ||
| That's his future, man. | ||
| That's his future. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's why everybody kind of wants him to retire. | ||
| You know, that's why I think his family's kind of pushing for him to retire. | ||
| Crazy Bob Cook, he's like, I'd be happy if he retired right now. | ||
| And I don't think the UFC's going to let him retire without facing Jon Jones, the heavyweight division. | ||
| He certainly can retire if he decides to. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| Not happening. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| They're going to throw that big money. | ||
| Because when you sit down, and you sit down and make a deal with the devil, and they're like, yeah, you're thinking about retiring? | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| We're going to pay you this much to fight this monster. | ||
| They're going to get out that pen and go... | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And they're going to push that piece of paper across. | ||
| Dan's going to go, you're thinking about retiring? | ||
| Just do me a favor. | ||
| Just look at this. | ||
| Look at that number. | ||
| We're at Strip Steakhouse in Vegas. | ||
| We're talking about two million pay-per-view buys, and this is what you would get. | ||
| Set for life. | ||
| He's probably sat for life already. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| He made $4 million for Derek Lewis. | ||
| Yeah, you're not sat. | ||
| I don't think you're sat with $4 million. | ||
| Who knows how much he made for Stipe? | ||
| Who knows how much he made... | ||
| Let's say after taxes, $10 million in the bank. | ||
| Is that set? | ||
| Not where you live. | ||
| Look at that gold watch. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| You wear a gold watch, bro. | ||
| Dude, that's not that crazy. | ||
| Louis C.K. has a joke in his newest set about buying a gold watch. | ||
| What's he say? | ||
| I'll let you listen to it. | ||
| Me and him couldn't be more upset. | ||
| You got a gold watch, son. | ||
| A gold watch, dog. | ||
| It's a gold Rolex. | ||
| It's a fucking gold Rolex, man. | ||
| Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| $10 million isn't going to last for you. | ||
| No, $10 million would last for you. | ||
| I'm not that crazy. | ||
| Everyone thinks I'm crazy. | ||
| How long would it last? | ||
| For the rest of your life? | ||
| $10 million, I'd be set with my investments, stuff like that, buy property. | ||
| I'd be panicking and counting. | ||
| Well, don't get me wrong. | ||
| I wouldn't stop working. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| What if you wanted to stop working? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Have you ever thought about, have you ever put a number where if I get here I can chill out on, like I don't need to do, I have 17 podcasts. | ||
| I don't need to do all that work. | ||
| I don't need to do nine sets a week at, you know, the comedy store and improv. | ||
| You do if you want to get good. | ||
| I know, but if I want to get 100%, if I want to get good at podcasts, I need to do that. | ||
| But there has to be some material level financially where I can get to where I can, all right, I can chill out on this, but I'm not built that way. | ||
| Every morning I wake up like, ah, fuck, man, we better get going. | ||
| Better get going. | ||
| I don't think about retiring because I like what I do. | ||
| So I don't think... | ||
| I don't think like, oh, I need to have X amount of money in the bank, so I'm not going to do this very much longer. | ||
| I'm not saying retiring. | ||
| I'm saying maybe cut back on all the shit you do. | ||
| I like all that stuff. | ||
| I think it keeps me from going crazy, too. | ||
| I think being active keeps me from losing my marbles. | ||
| Yeah, I feel you. | ||
| Just around the house, just all in with my demons. | ||
| Depressed. | ||
| I don't think I'd ever get depressed. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No. | ||
| I get depressed if I'm not busy. | ||
| If I'm with my son, I'm good. | ||
| But you leave me alone? | ||
| No, I'm like a gremlin after midnight. | ||
| Don't leave me alone, man. | ||
| I don't like being all by myself all the time. | ||
| Well, I have so many different interests. | ||
| Sort of one of the patterns that I've picked up my whole life is that I find things that I like to do and I do them as much as I can. | ||
| I mean, I have so many different things, whether it's archery or martial arts. | ||
| I'd join the fucking pro pool tour. | ||
| I would do something. | ||
| See, but everything you're talking about, what you're good about, too, though, is you're doing that with friends. | ||
| Some of your friends are the best in the world at those things you just mentioned. | ||
| So it goes hand in hand. | ||
| That helps. | ||
| Well, yeah, if you were alone with no friends, that shit is very depressing. | ||
| That's when I can get a little dark. | ||
| My brother goes on the road to me all the time. | ||
| I've done tons of dates. | ||
| And when he's not with me and I'm in that room all by myself for like three or four days, I'm like, oh, I'm not happy, man. | ||
| I'm not doing well. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's probably something I need to talk to someone about, but I don't know. | ||
| That is a depressing thing when you're alone on the road. | ||
| I used to do those gigs on the road with no opening act. | ||
| Way back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I do. | ||
| And I would work with a local guy, and it was just not fun. | ||
| If the local guy was cool, it was great. | ||
| We had a good old time, and it was fun. | ||
| And you know, I like everybody, but I'm all set on friends, so if you're not in my group, I don't want to spend time. | ||
| I'm not going to go to eat with you. | ||
| I'll see you at the venue, man. | ||
| I don't want to get to know each other. | ||
| You don't want to get to know anybody? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| Your book's closed. | ||
| It's a lot of energy, man. | ||
| I talk for a living. | ||
| If you didn't have to work ever again, what would you do with your time? | ||
| What if, say, you hit the lottery, you won $500 million, you never have to work again? | ||
| I'd still do stand-up and podcasting. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Guaranteed, yeah. | ||
| I like being stupid busy. | ||
| Theo and I have a new podcast. | ||
| I didn't need to do that. | ||
| I already have my show on Showtime. | ||
| But yet you did need to do that. | ||
| Because I love doing it. | ||
| It's not for a financial thing. | ||
| It works good. | ||
| I love Theo by himself. | ||
| His podcast by himself is really good. | ||
| He's better with other people. | ||
| Because other people get to respond to how ridiculous he is. | ||
| Out of this world ridiculous. | ||
| Half the fun is people going, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| It's some crazy shit. | ||
| It's some crazy shit. | ||
| Me and him talked about doing it for a long time, doing the King of the Sting, a long time. | ||
| We even made an announcement, and then months later, just because he's a busy guy, I'm a busy guy, and it's like, we don't need to do this. | ||
| Are you the Sting? | ||
| He's the rat king. | ||
| Yeah, because he called me. | ||
| He says I look like I got stung by a bunch of bees because I'm like swollen. | ||
| And I called him. | ||
| I said it looks like he, you know, keeps rats or something like that. | ||
| So I called him the rat king and then just stuck. | ||
| And then king of the sting. | ||
| And it's been going great, man. | ||
| It's been going great. | ||
| It's so different than what Callan and I do. | ||
| And people are like, oh, fire the kid. | ||
| It's coming to an end. | ||
| No, it's fucking not. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Finding Kid's never been bigger, man. | ||
| You can't pay attention. | ||
| Every month, it builds. | ||
| I don't know why, but every month, it builds, builds, builds. | ||
| Me and Cal are doing great, but there's the Rat King. | ||
| That's what he looks like. | ||
| This is the Turtles cartoon. | ||
| Dude, we have a segment on the show called Flaunt My Aunt, and people send in pictures of their ants, and we roast them. | ||
| You don't show the picture online, do you? | ||
| We sure do, sir. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| It's not all bad things. | ||
| Some girl sent a picture of her uncle, and she's like, yo, talk about my uncle. | ||
| He always tries to be positive, and I take it down a weird road, but it's great. | ||
| Someone sent a picture of their aunt from the 1950s. | ||
| Was she hot? | ||
| Pretty hot. | ||
| Our producer, Chin, showed his aunt, and she was hot as fuck. | ||
| 1950s hot was different. | ||
| Black and white. | ||
| Mushy. | ||
| There we are. | ||
| Talking about somebody's fucking... | ||
| That someone's old on. | ||
| 75 years old. | ||
| You guys have a nice set. | ||
| Where's your set? | ||
| Is it in the same complex where you do Fighter and the Kid? | ||
| No, so it's in Santa Monica and it's the company that produced called Malka and they do all my Showtime stuff. | ||
| So Showtime with Brian Daly and those guys... | ||
| We want to make it as easy as possible because you have all these shows. | ||
| We don't want you driving all over. | ||
| So they just, at a very much smaller scale than this, basically did like a Joe Rogan style where they built me a set where it's kind of like my Fantasyland. | ||
| So I have all my Below the Showtime stuff there. | ||
| I have King of the Sting there. | ||
| What's with the Bumblebee colors? | ||
| The Charlie Brown colors? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We had a set designer there. | ||
| I'm like, all right, well, we're not huge Charlie Brown fans. | ||
| It's two on the nose. | ||
| Black and yellow. | ||
| It's like a bee. | ||
| Sting. | ||
| It's a little weird. | ||
| It's two on the nose. | ||
| Ah, I see. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're very fashion conscious, though. | ||
| Oh, dude, that stuff would drive me nuts. | ||
| I was going to say, last night, you were dressed, and you dressed up, man. | ||
| I dressed up. | ||
| You look pretty fucking fly. | ||
| Do you see him, Jamie? | ||
| You look pretty dope. | ||
| You were on stage. | ||
| I looked at Brian and said, fuck, look at Rogan with the swaggy tonight. | ||
| Drip drip, son. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Drip drip. | ||
| It was good looking. | ||
| Damn, look good, dude. | ||
| Those two dress horrible. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Theo's the worst dressed person I know. | ||
| Brian just doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Theo wears those pants with rubber bands on the bottom of them. | ||
| Parachute pants. | ||
| Like their mom, vegan pants. | ||
| Vegan pants? | ||
| Yeah, he wears vegan pants. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're just some bullshit pants. | |
| He wears those Me Too movement pants. | ||
| They're just so non-alpha male. | ||
| That's just what he wears. | ||
| That's his style. | ||
| They taper down the bottom and then there's elastic that holds him up like six inches away from his shoe. | ||
| It's very yoga mom-ish. | ||
| Then he wears weird shoes and then he'll wear like Nike shoes with Reebok socks. | ||
| Drives me fucking nuts. | ||
| That drives you nuts? | ||
| Nuts. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Nuts, dude. | ||
| I did that the other day. | ||
| No, you didn't. | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| I had a pair of Converse with a pair of Adidas socks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah, dude! | |
| And I was thinking about it before I left, and I'm like, no one's gonna know. | ||
| Oh, if I, dude, Jamie, do you come from the same, like, if you did that at my school, you wouldn't have got out alive by fifth period. | ||
| There's a word for it. | ||
| Mismatched? | ||
| Ah, like, perpen maybe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's like a word when you fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dumbass? | |
| Yeah, it was like an early 90s thing, I remember. | ||
| Yeah, it just wasn't my thing. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a good time. | ||
| And what Theo and I tried to do is something completely different. | ||
| It's not like open-ended conversation. | ||
| There's no guest. | ||
| It's just, it's all segments. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| King or Sting It, and it's all fan submissions. | ||
| So people upload videos, go, yo, Burger King or McDonald's? | ||
| I mean, him debate McDonald's, Burger King, or Flauntmont, send your picture. | ||
| Do you have a preference between Burger King and McDonald's? | ||
| I'm a Burger King guy. | ||
| A Whopper with cheese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They both taste like shit. | |
| Well, I didn't say either one's healthy, but they're fucking... | ||
| They taste like shit. | ||
| Dude, a Whopper with cheese? | ||
| What do you like, fast food? | ||
| You have to choose between Wendy's and Burger King right next to each other. | ||
| Burger King all day. | ||
| Whopper with cheese, ketchup only, bro. | ||
| That's outrageous. | ||
| You went Wendy's? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Dude, they're square patties, you ice as fucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So? | |
| Square? | ||
| You got a problem with shapes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| The square patties? | ||
| You like square pizza too or slices? | ||
| I don't give a fuck as long as it tastes good. | ||
| I'm not worried about shapes. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| You're so fashion conscious. | ||
| That drives me nuts. | ||
| You should have been a gay guy in another life. | ||
| Probably, right? | ||
| That's why I stopped fighting. | ||
| You're the straightest fashion conscious guy I know. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's interesting, right? | |
| You're really into looks and fashion and trends and stuff. | ||
| You pay attention. | ||
| You're the only guy that I know that does that. | ||
| I've had my outfit picked up for my special Saturday for three weeks now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I went through constantly thinking. | ||
| Constantly thinking, what am I going to do? | ||
| You should have a tiger come out in a cage like Cat Williams. | ||
| Just over the top. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just go nuts. | ||
| Have a fur coat and have some chicks take the fur coat off you when you get on stage. | ||
| The set's a little outrageous. | ||
| Do you have a crazy set? | ||
| Not crazy, but I'm like, oh, that's very... | ||
| It's very Kevin Hart-ish. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| When they sit there, they're like, alright, that'll work. | ||
| Are you excited? | ||
| Yeah, I can't wait, man. | ||
| That's fucking awesome, man. | ||
| Yeah, I've never been more excited. | ||
| So the same night that you are doing your Showtime special, TJ Dillashaw is fighting Henry Cejudo. | ||
| Who else is on that card? | ||
| Pull that card up. | ||
| Good card, man. | ||
| It's the first card ever for ESPN+. Yeah, ESPN+. So it's a streaming thing. | ||
| You watch Cowboy Cerrone, though, on regular ESPN. Oh, okay. | ||
| He's the main event on the regular ESPN. So it's weird because the prelims are on the digital device. | ||
| Then it goes regular ESPN for the Donald Cerrone fight. | ||
| Then you've got to switch back to the digital. | ||
| It's going to take a little while for people to get used to that. | ||
| Well, some people are super bummed out. | ||
| My friend Brian Stevens, he lives in rural Texas outside of Dallas. | ||
| And he's bummed out because his internet's not that fast. | ||
| It's like, you know, in certain places, you can't get fast internet. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In 2019, he can't get Wi-Fi? | ||
| If you want to live on a ranch. | ||
| Don't live on a fucking ranch. | ||
| You're going to get slow Wi-Fi. | ||
| Fuck, bro. | ||
| They can do some stuff. | ||
| They can do some stuff, right? | ||
| Well, you can if you really want to be... | ||
| Ballin'. | ||
| You gotta spend a lot of money. | ||
| It took four months for us to get legit internet at the old place. | ||
| They had to chew up the streets. | ||
| We were in the Canoga Park area, which has all these businesses. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty legit there. | ||
| It's a grind to get legit internet in some spots. | ||
| So homeboy can't get it, so he's bummed out? | ||
| They used to be able to watch all the good fights on regular TV. So here we go. | ||
| Gregor Gillespie versus Yancey Medeiros. | ||
| Gregor Gillespie is, that guy is a fucking beast. | ||
| Minus 550. You look at it, yeah, he's an overwhelming favorite. | ||
| That could be five of the night. | ||
| I love how you skip over the Greg Hardy. | ||
| We all recognize this bullshit. | ||
| And then let's keep going. | ||
| Well, is it bullshit? | ||
| I mean, the guy's got fucking serious power. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| He's fought Cairns. | ||
| He's 3-0. | ||
| So on the ESPN card, he's the co-main event? | ||
| Well, it's because of his name. | ||
| Well, Alan Crowder. | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| I don't know who Alan Crowder is. | ||
| And he's Greg Hardy's giant favorite. | ||
| 600. Yeah. | ||
| He's minus 600. Wait a minute. | ||
| He calls himself the Prince of War. | ||
| Hey, bro. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| No, he doesn't. | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| Greg, the Prince of War Hardy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Don't do that. | ||
| Do not. | ||
| Absolutely do not do that. | ||
| Do not do that. | ||
| These nicknames are so bad. | ||
| Like, someone needs, like, a nickname coach. | ||
| The UFC should provide... | ||
| You know how they have, like, the athletes, the performance center where the athletes get to go? | ||
| Yeah, nickname center. | ||
| Yeah, they should have a nickname center. | ||
| Like, Gregor the Gift Gillespie, that's a good name. | ||
| Dude, all triple G's. | ||
| That motherfucker can wrestle. | ||
| Holy shit, can he wrestle. | ||
| He can fish, too. | ||
| Yeah, he's a good fisherman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a fucking serious wrestler, though. | ||
| This is a good fight. | ||
| Dustin Ortiz and Benavidez is a good fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They did fight before, and Benavidez won, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Benavidez is a motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Love Benavidez. | ||
| Glover Teixeira and Carl Roberson. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| Carl Roberson is a fucking beast, man. | ||
| Interesting nickname. | ||
| I guess you say Roberson. | ||
| Roberson. | ||
| Carl Baby K. Roberson. | ||
| Yeah, that motherfucker can fight. | ||
| He is good. | ||
| Strike-ins very good. | ||
| Yeah, he hurt his foot in his last fight. | ||
| Like, early on, but this is a big step up for him. | ||
| Clover's getting a little long in the tooth, yeah? | ||
| A lot long in the tooth, but he's still tough as shit. | ||
| If that goes to the ground, it could get dicey. | ||
| And then the next one, boys, get your dicks out. | ||
| Paige Van Zandt and Rachel Ostevich. | ||
| Both dimey, dimeys of all dimeys. | ||
| They're better looking than the ring card girls. | ||
| Well, Ostevich has the most ridonkulous body. | ||
| And her face is ridiculous. | ||
| She's beautiful, too. | ||
| She is... | ||
| She's so beautiful, but her body is so ridiculous. | ||
| It's like, are you a person? | ||
| God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd risk it all for that girl. | ||
| And then you got Paige Van Zandt. | ||
| Why does it say 155? | ||
| She's not 155. That's a typo. | ||
| Come on, UFC. God damn it. | ||
| Get your fucking people on this website. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Someone's an asshole. | ||
| They want to make fun of her. | ||
| She's 155! | ||
| They could also do a better picture of her. | ||
| Some girl who works for the girlfriend of the web designers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, my rate is 155. She's fatter than me. | |
| I'm 45, but she's 55. Yeah, she's easy on the ice, too. | ||
| Yeah, she's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, they're both gorgeous women. | ||
| It's crazy, though, that Ostevich coming off of that domestic violence thing. | ||
| Have you seen the video of that? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's disturbing. | ||
| It's her husband saying he's going to kill her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sigh. | |
| It's super disturbing. | ||
| If you need security, Rachel, I am here for you. | ||
| So sad. | ||
| They have kids together, too. | ||
| It's just so fucked up. | ||
| It's super dark. | ||
| But to put her on the card with Greg Hardy, that was a giant, a lot of people criticizing that. | ||
| And the UFC does not give a fuck. | ||
| Well, the thing is that Greg Hardy was on the card. | ||
| The card was set before she got assaulted by her husband. | ||
| So it was already in place. | ||
| She was supposed to be on the card. | ||
| They pulled her from the card when they thought that she had a broken orbital bone. | ||
| I mean, it's a gigantic catastrophe. | ||
| A horrible... | ||
| Dilemma in her life. | ||
| It's hard not to root for her husband hits her beats her up. | ||
| It's it's awful and she's like I'm not gonna let this guy Stop my career. | ||
| I'm not gonna let this guy change the path of my life. | ||
| I'm done with him I want to fight and she begged them to let her fight and I'm just saying if I'm the UFC I go, alright, Greg Hardy, he's not a big drawl. | ||
| He's not a veteran. | ||
| There's nothing going on here. | ||
| Let's just move him to any other fucking card we have. | ||
| We're sensitive to this. | ||
| No one's tuned in just, and it's not a big deal. | ||
| Move him to the next card. | ||
| I think they want some controversy. | ||
| I think they like controversy. | ||
| I think any sort of press, and they live and die by this, negative press is good press. | ||
| With the Jon Jones thing, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| How about the Conor Khabib thing? | ||
| They kept showing him throwing the dolly at the bus. | ||
| They kept showing it over and over again in the promos. | ||
| And to their point, it kind of works. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it worked. | ||
| That was a giant pay-per-view. | ||
| I mean, that was giant. | ||
| It works. | ||
| So you can't... | ||
| This one's a little different, like throwing a dolly through the window with other professional fighters. | ||
| Alright, whatever. | ||
| I watched that. | ||
| I hyped that shit too. | ||
| With this one, I can't. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm not hyping it. | ||
| I can't get on board for it. | ||
| Well, it's not like Ostovich is fighting her boyfriend or husband. | ||
| It'd be cool if she was. | ||
| I think he's a fighter, so I could be trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is a fighter. | |
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Looks pretty jacked. | ||
| Yeah, it's trouble. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| The whole thing's so ugly. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| What are the fights? | ||
| Cowboy. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Alexander Hernandez is a fucking beast. | ||
| That is a good fight. | ||
| That guy is super cocky, too. | ||
| Alexander the Great Hernandez. | ||
| He is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Cowboy being cowboy, just taking random-ass fights. | ||
| Yeah, well this is Hernandez's first fight in the big leagues. | ||
| Let me look at his record. | ||
| Did I show his record? | ||
| Count one. | ||
| No, but I mean, look at it. | ||
| The actual fights. | ||
| Does it show who he's fought? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They don't have that on the web. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He hasn't fought anyone nowhere near. | ||
| They don't have that on the website? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Not on the fight card, I don't believe. | ||
| But maybe on here. | ||
| Yeah, here. | ||
| On his page, they do. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| I mean, he beat Darius. | ||
| Yeah, he fought Aubame Mercier. | ||
| But Darius is a motherfucker and he starched him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, he starts Dariush and he beat Aubin-Mercier. | ||
| Those are two really good fighters. | ||
| But the way he beat Dariush, I was like, holy shit. | ||
| He's fast as fuck. | ||
| He's got serious power. | ||
| He's really technical, too. | ||
| And he's really hungry. | ||
| He views this cowboy fight as the breakout opportunity for him. | ||
| Yeah, he's a young line, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's got real future championship potential. | ||
| He's one of those guys you look at, you go, let's see. | ||
| Yeah, there's some tools there. | ||
| And with Cowboy, it's just like, makes zero sense in the world, but Cowboy just wants to stay active. | ||
| He's a savage, man. | ||
| He just loves it. | ||
| And you know what, man? | ||
| I mean, if you look at his last fight against Perry, he's still fighting smooth and smart. | ||
| He looked fantastic in that fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He looked great. | |
| Short work of Perry. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Perry's a dangerous guy. | ||
| Powerful guy. | ||
| Cowboy gonna cowboy, man. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| Very interesting fight. | ||
| That might be one of the fights that I'm most curious about. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll tell you who's a motherfucker. | ||
| You should go down the first kid. | ||
| And I've seen this kid since he walked in the gym at 13, Corey Sandhagen. | ||
| He came into Aurora High Altitude when I was fighting, and he was a basketball player in high school. | ||
| And came in there, and he is a motherfucker. | ||
| He is damn good. | ||
| He's supposed to fight John Lineker, but John got hurt. | ||
| But this kid is, stand-up-wise, super special. | ||
| 5'11", 135. That's a tall gentleman for that weight class. | ||
| He's a protege of Christian Allen. | ||
| This kid has skills, man. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I'm looking forward to that. | ||
| I know nothing about Mario Batista. | ||
| I have nothing about him. | ||
| See if you can find a video of Corey fighting. | ||
| Corey Sanhagen. | ||
| His movement. | ||
| You'll see how fluid his movement is and how unorthodox he is. | ||
| And he's good in all areas. | ||
| The one downfall might be his wrestling, but he's fucking good, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fun time right now for up-and-coming talent. | ||
| There's so many good guys. | ||
| The best. | ||
| As far as combat sports, including boxing and MMA, and the business we're in, there couldn't be a better time. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best. | |
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's a male soap opera. | ||
| I always have something to talk about. | ||
| The only thing that's left out is kickboxing. | ||
| Kickboxing still is not getting any traction. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It's just like jiu-jitsu. | ||
| It's never going to just blow up these other sports. | ||
| But why not? | ||
| It's the way the world is, Joe. | ||
| No one gives a fuck. | ||
| I'm sad. | ||
| That's the one thing that I think is missing, is kickboxing blowing up. | ||
| Again, I love combat sports, but I'm not going to jump to my couch to watch kickboxing or jiu-jitsu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And I love jiu-jitsu, but I'm not going to... | ||
| If there was a big kickboxing card... | ||
| Like, I watched Overeem Badahari. | ||
| Didn't we go to see Joe Schilling fight together? | ||
| Did you come with me to that event? | ||
| I didn't go with you. | ||
| You didn't go with that. | ||
| Oh, speaking of that, Coker texted me last night. | ||
| I didn't get back to him. | ||
| Sorry, Scott. | ||
| Oh, Fedor. | ||
| Yeah, he's like, dude, you in for Fedor Bader? | ||
| I didn't get back to him yet, either. | ||
| I was going to ask you. | ||
| Yeah, I was waiting to ask you. | ||
| Do you want to go? | ||
| Should we go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll go. | |
| Is it next weekend? | ||
| It's the 26th, the weekend after your event. | ||
| It's at the forum. | ||
| I feel like we should go to see Fedor fight live. | ||
| Me too, because especially if he loses, it's probably the last time. | ||
| Well, it's just the opportunity to see if there's five all-time greatest fighters in history, he's on that list. | ||
| Have you been to a live Fedor? | ||
| Never. | ||
| I've been to two. | ||
| When he fought Ronnie Coleman, Vegas. | ||
| And then I worked at the Bellator when he fought Mitrione. | ||
| Here's Sanhagen. | ||
| God, he's so tall for 35. He looks like a vegan. | ||
| See how smooth he is when he switches? | ||
| He got lit up there. | ||
| But he's very smooth, man. | ||
| Oh, he fought Yuri Alcantara? | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Jesus! | ||
| Oh, this is one of the rounds of the year. | ||
| He gets in trouble, and you think he's submitted. | ||
| I think his arm snapped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Look at his arm. | ||
| He goes on to win this fight, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| How does he not tap here? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| He's triangled. | ||
| He's in a full-on arm bar. | ||
| I mean, he's getting his arm fucked up. | ||
| He gets out of this. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| How does he get out of this? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| What heart? | ||
| Yeah, he has a special talent. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's got some rubber arms! | ||
| Look at his arm! | ||
| His arm looks broken, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's in trouble. | |
| That looks broken. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Look how far it's bent back. | ||
| And I'm surprised the ref didn't stop. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| I'm surprised the ref didn't stop it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| It's turned sideways now. | ||
| See the way his wrist is? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's actually going with the joint. | ||
| Because he's doing this now. | ||
| So he's actually in way better shape now. | ||
| And he's bleeding now. | ||
| Oh, now he's fucked. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| But he bent it down. | ||
| Dude, he's safe. | ||
| He's actually doing very good with his defense. | ||
| Well, his shoulder's not in danger there. | ||
| He's doing very good with defense. | ||
| Look, he's getting cut up from this. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| Yeah, he controls the leg so he can escape. | ||
| Oh my god, this is horrific to watch. | ||
| How does he get out of this? | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Alcantara's got to be like, what the fuck? | ||
| How does that guy not tap? | ||
| That'll break your will. | ||
| When you do all that and he's still there, look at him beating his ass. | ||
| And then he's smashing you. | ||
| And then you're tired. | ||
| And you realize, oh my god, I should have tried to choke him. | ||
| He should have committed to the triangle. | ||
| I mean, the triangle is fully locked in. | ||
| Dude, that arm bar was nasty. | ||
| It was nasty. | ||
| But triangles put you to sleep. | ||
| The thing about arm bars is you can let your arm snap. | ||
| You really can, and guys have. | ||
| There's some crazy savages out there that will let you break their arm. | ||
| A lot of times they stop it, though. | ||
| But when you get put to sleep, you get put to sleep. | ||
| Yeah, your triangle better be fucking good, especially this day. | ||
| When's the last time I saw a guy get a triangle besides fucking Brian Ortega? | ||
| Like, the triangle better be goddamn good, man. | ||
| Guys are so good with their defense with triangles these days. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Triangles aren't that good, though. | ||
| Especially, you know, Corey's a black belt. | ||
| Right, but it's like, whose triangle is that good? | ||
| Triangle defense or triangle submissions? | ||
| Ortega's probably the best in the UFC. He's the best. | ||
| Yeah, T-City. | ||
| Triangle City. | ||
| That's what it stands for. | ||
| People have seen him in the Max Holloway fight. | ||
| If you've only seen him fight in that fight, God, you've got to go back and watch him. | ||
| His submissions are so nasty. | ||
| That's flying triangles. | ||
| San Hagen. | ||
| Is it Hagen? | ||
| San Hagen or San Hagen? | ||
| San Hagen. | ||
| San Hagen is just smashing down on them. | ||
| Alcantara seems spent. | ||
| Again, came into the gym, basketball player, no experience. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| At 13? | ||
| Young. | ||
| Yeah, but see, the 13-year-olds, they just learn shit. | ||
| Yeah, just think about 13, walk in the gym, and you have this work ethic from basketball, and you're like, oh, I'll try this stuff out. | ||
| And you walk in the gym, you've got Christian Allen, who's a ninja, and And then he just downloads all his experience into you. | ||
| And you're like, alright. | ||
| And then you're in the fucking UFC. Amazing. | ||
| And he was going to be an underdog against John Lineker. | ||
| And he would have beat Lineker, man. | ||
| Dude, he's smashing Alcantara. | ||
| How does this fight end? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Corey wins. | ||
| He's beating the fuck out of Alcantara. | ||
| I think he had a bonus for that night. | ||
| You'll think Alcantara is probably... | ||
| After all that, he's like, Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| He's not even defending himself well. | ||
| He's exhausted from trying to blow out his goddamn shoulder. | ||
| The way he's defending himself. | ||
| Look at what he's doing. | ||
| It's almost like he's confused that the guy's still there and that he's pounding on him now. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He must be exhausted. | ||
| He emptied his gas tank. | ||
| He's getting fucked up. | ||
| He's getting fucked up. | ||
| He doesn't seem like he can move right. | ||
| No, he's so exhausted, man. | ||
| He's trying for that Noguera sweep. | ||
| The deep half. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Knowing better. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| And that is on what? | ||
| Is that on Fight Pass? | ||
| Some of them are on Fight Pass? | ||
| No, no Fight Pass. | ||
| This is on ESPN+. So it goes ESPN +, then you gotta jump to regular ESPN to watch Cowboy, then you gotta jump back to the digital platform to watch the rest of the card. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Terrible idea, whoever did that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Terrible idea. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Terrible idea. | ||
| Back and forth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is it not on an app though? | ||
| It is on an app. | ||
| I'm saying it goes app, regular TV to watch cowboy. | ||
| No, I know, but you can watch ESPN normal on the app, I believe. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| That's what I'm asking. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I was listening to Luke Thomas was talking about it. | ||
| And so can you get the app on your television? | ||
| Can you do it through Apple TV? Should be able to. | ||
| Should be, yeah. | ||
| So you can just watch all of it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you seen... | ||
| Oh, so the Andy stopped him? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Dude, how about fucking Cain Velasquez versus Francis Ngana? | ||
| Ooh, that makes me nervous. | ||
| For who? | ||
| For Cain. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's an amazing fight for Cain. | ||
| It's a great fight for Kane if he gets that guy to the ground. | ||
| It's a great fight for Francis, too. | ||
| Well, it makes me excited. | ||
| I mean, I say nervous. | ||
| Anytime I see Francis fighting, I'm nervous for his opponent. | ||
| I wasn't nervous after the Stipe fight. | ||
| I was like, ah, fuck. | ||
| You weren't nervous in the Derrick Lewis fight? | ||
| No. | ||
| I thought if he fought the way he always fights, that would be a crazy fight. | ||
| But he was so nervous from that fight, from the Stipe fight, that he just did not. | ||
| He looked terrible. | ||
| He just couldn't pull the trigger. | ||
| Well, and Derrick Rose had a hurt back, so he got a complete shit show out of two knockout artists. | ||
| I just think that Kane's been out for a long time. | ||
| He's a motherfucker, though, man. | ||
| Oh, he's the best. | ||
| I think he's the best in terms of physical ability. | ||
| You think he's the best heavyweight of all time? | ||
| I think he's the best. | ||
| I think he has to do a little more work. | ||
| I don't think he's the best in terms of what he's accomplished. | ||
| I think Fedor's the best heavyweight of all time in terms of what he's accomplished. | ||
| Maybe you can make the argument for Fabrizio Verdum because Verdum beat him. | ||
| But I think Verdum beat a Fedor that had already been through the ringer and pride and all the chaos over there. | ||
| I mean, he had been in those wars with fucking Krokop. | ||
| But Verdun beat him when it was still the aura of Fedor. | ||
| He was the first one where you realize he was human. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Because Brett Rogers kind of took a little bit out of that. | ||
| Ah, dude, he starched fucking Brett. | ||
| He KO'd him, but before that he had trouble with him. | ||
| It wasn't an easy fight. | ||
| It wasn't an easy fight. | ||
| He didn't even respect Brett, right? | ||
| He did a crow-cop, like, I mean, a crow-hop fucking punch. | ||
| Yeah, leaped and fucking hit him with that right hand. | ||
| That right hand was redonkulous, though. | ||
| It's tough to say greatest of all time because it's the greatest of that time period. | ||
| Because when he was doing it, there were specialists that he was great. | ||
| There were certain things that made him great. | ||
| He was undersized. | ||
| Because if you put his skill set with his frame now into the the pool I don't know if he's the best but then Kane at his time when there's JDS and he's in his prime Brock Lesnar He's beating those guys what Kane would do to people he would overwhelm you in a way that look like you were drowning and His cardio and pace was insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Insane. | |
| Like, the Junior Dos Santos fights, I think, took so much out of Junior. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
| I think it took it both of them paid the price for that. | ||
| Both of them, yeah. | ||
| It was the same thing as, I was listening to, who's the boxer you just had on? | ||
| From Youngstown. | ||
| Kelly Pavlik. | ||
| Love Kelly Pavlik. | ||
| How you're saying he doesn't watch the rematch with Canelo, Triple G, because it takes so much out of those guys that they're never the same. | ||
| I'm usually on the same thinking path as that, where I'm like, God, if those guys go out again, man, we're never going to get a good product. | ||
| Well, Kane and Junior, for sure. | ||
| I mean, especially the third fight. | ||
| The second one, too, dude. | ||
| Yeah, the second one, too. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
| And then JDS Stipe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was crazy, too. | ||
| I mean, JDS has had some wards, and Stipe has had some wards. | ||
| And you can tell that they're just different in life. | ||
| I'm not saying it's brain trauma or whatever it is, but they're just different. | ||
| They leave a piece of themselves in that octagon. | ||
| Well, it's for sure some brain trauma. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just trying to be nice. | ||
| You're trying to be nice. | ||
| You're getting hit in the head that much. | ||
| They leave a little piece of him in there for our entertainment, and I feel a little guilty about that. | ||
| What's crazy is there's no talk about Stipe. | ||
| Stipe, the most accomplished heavyweight of all time. | ||
| He's the greatest in terms of his accomplishments. | ||
| He defended the title more than anybody. | ||
| He didn't fight the best guys in their prime when he fought Junior. | ||
| Junior was definitely past his prime. | ||
| That's the knock on him, right? | ||
| That's the only knock on him. | ||
| He fought for Doom after his prime. | ||
| But again, when it was his run during his era, Stipe's the best. | ||
| When it was Kane during his era, he was the best. | ||
| Fedor was the best. | ||
| It's hard to say this guy's better than this guy because it's just a different time period. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Jordan better than LeBron. | ||
| Jordan during that era, by far the best. | ||
| LeBron right now, by far the best. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| They're not competing against each other. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| So that's the question about Stipe. | ||
| It's like, why is there no talk about him fighting again? | ||
| Like, why have they not set something up? | ||
| And he's trying. | ||
| He's trying. | ||
| Like, he even tweeted, he goes, DC, before I retire, let's do it, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, quit waiting for John, let's do it. | ||
| Well, he's being really active on social media, but it doesn't seem like there's a lot of interest. | ||
| Because he has to be. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because it's not in his nature. | ||
| We know that's not Stipe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| We know that. | ||
| Stipe's a firefighter, humble, blue-collar dude. | ||
| He's going to put in work, comes to fight all the time. | ||
| So Derek Lewis explains turning down Stipe fight. | ||
| Derek says, So they tried getting Stipe fight. | ||
| So they were trying to get him for the UFC's Brooklyn card this weekend. | ||
| Was that this weekend? | ||
| It's smart of Derrick Lewis. | ||
| When you go D.C., then Stipe, there couldn't be two worse matchups for him. | ||
| He's going to get paid. | ||
| Two beatings you're going to take. | ||
| Most likely, unless he connects. | ||
| Derrick Lewis is doing it for the money. | ||
| He says that. | ||
| I'm trying to make cash, man, so that'd be the best way to do it. | ||
| But if he's not healthy, let's give me an ass-whooping from Stipe. | ||
| Or he connects. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| More early on. | ||
| But even Francis connected with Stipe and Stipe did not give a fuck. | ||
| That's how freaky he is. | ||
| Yeah, he's tough as shit, which is more incredible even that DC took him out. | ||
| So them offering Stipe Black Beast, you can tell they're not even thinking DC-Stipe rematch. | ||
| DC's getting Jones, Lesnar. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I don't think Lesnar's fighting. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| I think something suspect's going on there. | ||
| I would be willing to bet DC's last fight is that heavyweight. | ||
| Against Jon Jones. | ||
| Against Jon Jones. | ||
| And it's the biggest fight of all time. | ||
| That's such a... | ||
| And I'm a Brock Lesnar fan. | ||
| I like when he fights. | ||
| He's such a freak. | ||
| I celebrate the guy. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Hey, Nowitzki, go get a cup of coffee when Brock fights. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| But when... | ||
| When you talk about Jon Jones DC, I mean, no one's even talking about Brock. | ||
| Jon Jones DC, that's the motherfucking fight. | ||
| I think that's bigger than Conor Khabib too. | ||
| I think there's so much history there. | ||
| It's for fucking the heavy. | ||
| And I think DC at heavyweight fighting Jon, the gap narrows. | ||
| But at light heavyweight, DC is not for you. | ||
| At heavyweight though, I think that's why John's kind of like, I'll fight him, it has to be at light heavyweight. | ||
| Because DC does have some advantages at heavyweight now. | ||
| But let's look at what they've done with TJ Dillashaw dropping him down to flyweight. | ||
| Why can't DC do the same thing when he gets down to light heavyweight? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Oh, you're saying, what do you mean? | ||
| Well, he struggles so hard to get down to light heavyweight that it fucks with his cardio, his conditioning. | ||
| He just doesn't feel the same. | ||
| He says it takes too much out of him. | ||
| He feels so much stronger at heavyweight because he doesn't have to go through that weight cut. | ||
| Big dude, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| No. | ||
| No, he's got body fat on him. | ||
| He's got extra body fat that's not... | ||
| It doesn't aid your performance. | ||
| Now, when he's at heavyweight, he doesn't diminish himself. | ||
| Or is he a mesomorph where he's different? | ||
| Because sometimes, like a Fedor or a Roy Nelson... | ||
| If you make those guys shredded, that's not in their DNA. They're not ectomorphs. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| But because we see guys like Francis Ngano, we assume that's... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think ectomorph is the real skinny guy. | ||
| Super skinny. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think a mesomorph is what you're thinking of. | ||
| That's in the middle. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I think DC's a mesomorph. | ||
| Endomorph is fat, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think for DC, being shredded, his body doesn't function off that well. | ||
| He doesn't have to be shredded, but he's carrying around so much extra weight. | ||
| Like, at heavyweight. | ||
| Starching dudes. | ||
| Well, he starched... | ||
| But look at Cain Velasquez. | ||
| He's not shredded. | ||
| He starched two guys. | ||
| He starched Stipe, who he just connected with a beautiful shot in the clinch. | ||
| That's his skill, his wrestling. | ||
| I think what's going on at heavyweight with DC is he's not weakened. | ||
| Let him eat whatever the fuck he wants and he's not weakened. | ||
| I think that is critical for him. | ||
| And I think when he gets down to light heavyweight, I think he's weakened. | ||
| I think it takes something out of him. | ||
| But I wonder how much they could mitigate that with great diet and planning it out the same way Kalavita's done to TJ. TJ's a smaller guy naturally and leaner. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But still, they leaned him out further to get him down to 135 pounds before the weight cut. | ||
| I just don't think it's in... | ||
| DC's DNA to be that lean. | ||
| It's just not for him. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's just not, you know? | ||
| Maybe, but I think everyone benefits from scientific planning, meal planning, real analysis of your calories in, calories out, nutrients. | ||
| I don't know, maybe he does that already. | ||
| I bet he does that to some degree, but some guys I think do better for a guy like DC where he's just that extra fat and that's his thing. | ||
| I hope that they fight. | ||
| If they do fight, I hope the first fight is at heavyweight. | ||
| That's what I hope. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Because we've seen the light heavyweight. | ||
| Because they've talked about doing it at light heavyweight. | ||
| We've seen the light heavyweight version. | ||
| Because John wants it at light heavyweight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, John wants it at light heavyweight so that it never has to appear that he picked up a title when they took it away from the champ and they didn't earn it from the champ. | ||
| And I get that, but how great would it be if you're John, where most people clearly know he beat DC, then you go to heavyweight and take that from him? | ||
| It's just the ultimate fuck you. | ||
| But I also think DC's a different animal at heavyweight, and his power's different, and John does get hit, and DC at heavyweight could land some shit. | ||
| Stipe's not easy to knock out at all. | ||
| No. | ||
| That would be the fight. | ||
| But it's also like they get so emotional with each other. | ||
| They hate each other. | ||
| Yeah, DC fucking hates that guy. | ||
| That's why pay-per-view goes... | ||
| That's what you want. | ||
| Especially at heavyweight. | ||
| It's hard to sell a trilogy at heavyweight. | ||
| July. | ||
| July 4th. | ||
| July 4th weekend. | ||
| DC. DC versus Jon Jones. | ||
| The heavyweight championship of the world. | ||
| Champ Champ. | ||
| Champ Champ. | ||
| Boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| The giant pay-per-view. | ||
| Three million buys. | ||
| Probably around there, yeah. | ||
| That's a lot of pay-per-views, but yeah. | ||
| But it could be done. | ||
| And that's what's going to happen. | ||
| Dana's going to make an offer they can't refuse. | ||
| Well, we're in January. | ||
| February, March, April, May, June, July. | ||
| Six months from now. | ||
| D.C. wanted to retire in March. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It's not going to be July. | ||
| He's not going to retire in March. | ||
| He said his 40th birthday he's going to retire. | ||
| Get out of here with that. | ||
| That's why Stipe tweeted him and was like, dude, let's do this before you get out. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is from a promo for the wrestling event this week, because he's in Royal Rumble at the end of the month. | ||
| Is this new him? | ||
| Is this current him, do you think? | ||
| Well, if it's current him, he ain't passing any tests. | ||
| He looks huge. | ||
| Nah, it's just a couple of picos, bro. | ||
| Let's relax. | ||
| Look at the size of him. | ||
| He's a freak, though, you know? | ||
| Well, he's definitely a freak, but is he physically the same? | ||
| Look up Brock Lesnar lean. | ||
| I was trying to find a new picture. | ||
| You ever seen a picture of him in high school? | ||
| He was jacked. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Yeah, he had a giant ass. | ||
| He's a naturally giant dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ultra large size can of paint for a head. | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| He's a tank. | ||
| He looks like every bully of all time in high school, but he's actually a nice guy. | ||
| Yeah, like there, he looks pretty lean. | ||
| That's old. | ||
| Did you ever hear about the story? | ||
| Pat Baer was telling me this. | ||
| He used to train with Brock. | ||
| Good God, that's a freak. | ||
| When Brock, they were in between camp and Brock had his daughter in his hand and people saw him and went to grab him and take pictures and he's holding his daughter and they grabbed the hand and he's holding his daughter and he just went off on this dude. | ||
| And he's like the nicest guy ever. | ||
| Brock's always great. | ||
| But I guess this fan was like, oh my God, Brock Lesnar. | ||
| And he's like, I'm with my kids, man, don't bother me. | ||
| And some dude was like, no, let's do a picture and grabs him and he's holding his daughter and it just went. | ||
| He just was like, what the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| Grabbed his arm while he was holding his daughter. | ||
| He's holding his daughter like this. | ||
| That's what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| That's what reminded me of it. | ||
| He grabbed him and was like, what the fuck? | ||
| Dude, I got my daughter here, man. | ||
| And I'm Brock Lesnar. | ||
| I'm going to twist your head off. | ||
| People want what they want and they don't care. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I just don't see him fighting again. | ||
| I'd be happy if I was wrong. | ||
| I think he definitely wants to get back in there again. | ||
| I mean, I think he has some fights in his mind that he would like to get back. | ||
| I think he'd beat 95% of the division, too. | ||
| He's a freak, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He is a freak. | ||
| You know, Pico Grams, no Pico Grams. | ||
| He's a fucking freak, dude. | ||
| Pico Grams. | ||
| That's just my reference for fucking steroids now. | ||
| Pico's so hot right now. | ||
| He's such a freak. | ||
| He is. | ||
| You want some skeptical hippo eyes for your boy Nowitzki? | ||
| How about the test results for Lesnar showed up, then went away on their website? | ||
| And they're like, oh, it's just a random mistake. | ||
| It's just a glitch that $50,000 took care of. | ||
| How funny is that? | ||
| I wonder what happened. | ||
| What do you think happened? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| There's some sort of shadiness there. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Oh, come on, man. | ||
| If you think USADA's the end-all, be-all, you have your goddamn mind. | ||
| USADA says, technical issues caused online block Brock Lesnar drug test number discrepancy. | ||
| Here's my problem, Joe. | ||
| Here's my problem with this. | ||
| So let's just assume Brock, I don't know, has he had a needle in his ass? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I've never done it. | ||
| 100% I would guess. | ||
| Well, he tested positive in the Mark Hunt fight. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And Mark sued him for that. | ||
| Is Mark suing him? | ||
| Mark's suing the UFC. He's still legal action with that. | ||
| And he's not in the UFC. His contract's up with the UFC, so it's going to probably get even gnarlier now. | ||
| So good luck to Mark Hunt. | ||
| But... | ||
| So, Brock Lesnar, we know, steroid user, his test just doesn't show up. | ||
| I mean, that's random. | ||
| Boy, that's a coincidence. | ||
| John Jones, greatest fighter of all time, USADA issues, picograms. | ||
| That's just a coincidence. | ||
| It's too much of a coincidence for me, Joe. | ||
| Okay, but wait a minute. | ||
| The John Jones-USADA thing, they tested him positive. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Like, what are you saying? | ||
| By the way, he did test negative after the fight, even for the metabolites. | ||
| So, for the picograms. | ||
| Afterwards, there's no picograms. | ||
| You're saying picograms. | ||
| Picograms is a unit of measurement. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| What he tested positive for is a metabolite for this steroid. | ||
| Which, and after the fight, there was nothing, correct? | ||
|
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|
Nothing, right. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Because the numbers, what they're saying is that what his body has in it is a response to this steroid. | ||
| It's not like they're detecting, like, Anivar in his system. | ||
| It's a pulsing. | ||
| It's a metabolite. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| What they're detecting is the body responding to the fact that this steroid had been in his system. | ||
| Previously. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But they documented... | ||
| It's just coincidence. | ||
| It's not that it's a coincidence. | ||
| You keep saying it like it's a joke. | ||
| Because the situation to me is a joke. | ||
| Why don't you tell me why it's a joke? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's too much of a coincidence to me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He has plenty of issues outside of that. | ||
| When you say all these issues, you mean steroid issues. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now... | ||
| The first one being the... | ||
| I don't mean to cut you off, but the first one being the excuse of the dick pills. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But it was. | ||
| Like, they actually got the dick pills. | ||
| They tested them. | ||
| This is all documented. | ||
| Is it? | ||
|
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|
Yes. | |
| Well, those dick pills... | ||
| They didn't find the dick pills, Joe. | ||
| What they found were the precursors that can be found in dick pills. | ||
| So, if it's clambuterol... | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| So the thing that he flagged for, those do show up in dick pills. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They also show up in a lot of other things. | ||
| Right, but he got them the dick pills that he took and they had it in them. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| So then he's clear. | ||
| That's what he took. | ||
| Listen, in the amount that he had in his system... | ||
| What they're saying is the only way that could exist is through a tainted supplement. | ||
| The way they tested him before, the way they tested him after, the small window of time where he was positive for that thing, there'd be no performance-enhancing benefit for him to take something in a micro-dose or whatever, and that it's in such a small amount that it had to be a tainted supplement. | ||
| They got them the actual supplement that he took, the dick pill supplement. | ||
| It had it in it. | ||
| That contained that stuff. | ||
| And he got punished for that. | ||
| This is not like a steroid that he took where it made him a better fighter or made him a better athlete. | ||
| So, to play devil's advocate here, so that stuff that comes in those dick pills, you can get from other steroids. | ||
| But it happens to be in those dick pills. | ||
| You certainly can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| But that's one narrative that, to clear that, you could say, well, it's in these dick pills. | ||
| I'm not saying you can do that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But it's in such a small amount in his body. | ||
| And it wasn't in his body before, and it wasn't in his body after, which showed that it was only in his body in extremely small amounts for a small window of time. | ||
| Small trace amount, yep. | ||
| But a small window of time. | ||
| So it's not like he had it. | ||
| It's not even like this stuff, which is a metabolite, which is showing a response to the body, the body responding to the steroids. | ||
| Then let me ask this, Joe. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Why does no other fighter have any picograms at this pulsating effect, really? | ||
| Well, that's not true. | ||
| I mean, other fighters have tested. | ||
| Frank Mir? | ||
| Frank Mir tested positive for something. | ||
| Got two years. | ||
| Tom Lawler tested. | ||
| But Frank Mir didn't go through the same steps that Jon Jones did. | ||
| He didn't provide them with... | ||
| I forget what the exact... | ||
| There was something that John did also that lowered his sentencing. | ||
| Remember, he was an informant. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He was cooperating with USADA. Yeah. | ||
| Or agreeing to cooperate with USADA. Yeah. | ||
| Then we're just cool with that. | ||
| Listen, I don't even know what that means. | ||
| I don't either, but let me ask you this. | ||
| If I agreed to USADA to be an informant of an undercover snitch... | ||
| Snitches get stitches. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Unless you're John, then no one can beat you up, so you're fine. | ||
| But the thing is... | ||
| The only way I can inform you is of something that I know of. | ||
| I can't inform you of just speculation. | ||
| That was what I asked Nowitzki. | ||
| I was like, if he didn't do anything wrong, what is he going to offer? | ||
| Because unless he took something... | ||
| Unless you know what you're doing. | ||
| Like, if I'm an informant for the FBI or for the feds for cocaine, I know my cocaine. | ||
| They're not going to get Joe Blow that makes my fucking espresso. | ||
| They're going to get the guy who knows the in and outs of cocaine. | ||
| Again, I'm like, alright, cool man. | ||
| Or they have a conversation with him and he says he can provide them with information on how guys are getting away with passing drug tests. | ||
| And how would you know about that unless you're in on that? | ||
|
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I don't know. | |
| I don't either. | ||
| I'm just saying, again, to me, all of it is a little too much of coincidence that the best fighter on the planet Earth has these issues. | ||
| The best fighter on the planet Earth also ran away from a hit-and-run, smashed into a girl and broke her arm. | ||
| He also drove his car into a tree. | ||
| He's a reckless person who takes a lot of chances, and he does some, at least in the past, has done some things that are not very wise. | ||
| This could fall under that. | ||
| Or it could fall in. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Or, again, to play devil's advocate. | ||
| I'm not accusing him of anything. | ||
| To play devil's advocate. | ||
| Or a guy who is that loosey-goosey outside the octagon might have taken some performance-enhancing things because that would be the similar traits. | ||
| Could have, except in this situation, it doesn't line up with the facts of what he took in terms of long-term metabolites, short-term metabolites, and medium-term metabolites. | ||
| The only long-term metabolites existed, which means that whatever he took, he had to have taken a long time ago. | ||
| Now, the problem with this is, this all comes from that guy, Gregory Rechenkov, is that how you say his name? | ||
| You're talking about the one test? | ||
| What I'm talking about is the study that shows these metabolites is all from this one individual, this guy, Grigory Rechenkov, who was the man from that documentary Icarus, who used to work for the Russian state-sponsored doping program. | ||
| He's the one who established these tests, and the way he established these tests is very highly criticized by people. | ||
| Super suspect. | ||
| Well, it's not suspect, but it's criticized by people because he injected himself and tested all his metabolites on himself. | ||
| And this has not been done on any peer-reviewed tests outside of his research. | ||
| It hasn't been duplicated. | ||
| The problem is it's not legal to perform these sort of tests on people in America. | ||
| You can't just shoot people up with illegal steroids in America and find out what it does to them. | ||
| But they should be able to do that. | ||
| I told him to get Sean Shelby, whack him up with a bunch of steroids, and Sean's down for it. | ||
| Sean's down for it. | ||
| He wants to get bigger. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
| Or just do it to Vitor Belfort, wherever he's fighting. | ||
| Just tell him, look, Vitor, we got an extra couple hundred grand for you on the side. | ||
| Just do this and let us do some blood work. | ||
| Let's see how it goes, bro. | ||
| Fucking cocaine-tainted creatine. | ||
| For real. | ||
| He would do it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| I maintain an open mind. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| I'm not accusing John of anything. | ||
| But again, for me, and this is just me, it's too much of a coincidence for it to raise some red flags for me. | ||
| I talked to two independent scientists outside of Nowitzki where I was sending guys information. | ||
| They were sending me back. | ||
| I was sending them all the work that they did. | ||
| I sent them all the relevant studies. | ||
| And one of them who was suspicious... | ||
| Initially, after reviewing all the stuff, decided that it doesn't seem like it's likely that it could be possible that he could have actually cheated. | ||
| He said it's more likely... | ||
| Cheated during that time. | ||
| More likely that the actual, the tainted supplement excuse is... | ||
| And by the way, the tainted supplement, I'm using the air quotes supplement, was never provided. | ||
| That supplement was never provided. | ||
| So, unless they did it to USADA and USADA didn't want to release it, the number one... | ||
| Question was, was it cocaine that was tainted with creatine? | ||
| That was where people thought it came from. | ||
| Because it's really, according to Nowitzki, when he was working for the government, that would be a really common thing. | ||
| That creatine was used in cocaine to cut it. | ||
| Because it looks like coke. | ||
| It cuts with coke. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| It's not toxic. | ||
| So they would always mix in cheap creatine with cocaine to make more coke. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, it makes sense. | ||
| And that's what Nowitzki believed. | ||
| But that's not what he believed. | ||
| But he believed that was a possibility. | ||
| I've heard all sorts of possibilities. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It'd be interesting to know the actual truth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, we're not going to know that. | ||
| I think we know as much as we're going to know. | ||
| Unless John comes out. | ||
| Once John retires and is like, I had a doctor, and he would stick it in my fingernails and slowly release. | ||
| Yeah, with some high, advanced microdosing. | ||
| He would never admit that, though. | ||
| Nobody ever admits it, unless they get caught. | ||
| It would tarnish your legacy, unless it's like an MLB thing. | ||
| But so many people were quick to jump on the he's a cheater bandwagon. | ||
| I'm like, man, you gotta be careful with that. | ||
| You gotta be careful with that. | ||
|
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You gotta be careful with that, but also... | |
| You should be suspicious. | ||
| You should be suspicious. | ||
| I don't think that when you Sada and Nowitzki go, it's all good, man. | ||
| It was a dick pill. | ||
| You go, cool, man. | ||
| I don't think he can do that. | ||
| Well, they definitely didn't do that. | ||
| He lost a lot of money. | ||
| No, I'm saying that's what the fans do. | ||
| That's what the fans do. | ||
|
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|
Oh, right. | |
| You know, some people can do that. | ||
| I think it's okay to go, God, it's just, I don't know, man. | ||
| Like, it's too much smoke here for me. | ||
| It's okay to do that. | ||
| What it's not okay to do is to say, he was cheating, he's busted, he has this stuff in his system. | ||
| Well, no, it's fine to say why does he have this stuff in the system. | ||
| Because that's what I say. | ||
| Right, but they showed why he had it in the system. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't mean you should have it in your system. | ||
| No, you definitely shouldn't have it in your system. | ||
| It's not cool to have it in your system. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, so it's okay to go, why the fuck is in the best fire in the world system? | ||
| What are you doing, dude? | ||
| That's fine to say. | ||
| Do you think that there's some shit that's going on right now that they haven't figured out yet that's going to be revealed? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| The drugs and that underworld is always ahead of the testing. | ||
| Always, always, always. | ||
| That's what Nowitzki said at first, but now he thinks it's reached this point where the testing is so good. | ||
| Do you know the testing threshold that he tested positive for, for the picograms, is 2,000 to 5,000 times stronger than the WADA threshold? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he would have 2,000 to 5,000 times more of it in his system. | ||
| Or 2,000 to 5,000? | ||
| 2,000%? | ||
| The numbers are tough to keep up with. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Andy Foster told me what it was. | ||
| Either way, he gave me the numbers. | ||
| But an insane amount of much higher quantities of this shit for him to test positive in WADA. Like, these tests that they use now are insane. | ||
| So are the doctors in the undergrounds? | ||
| No, this is the thing they're doing. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| But this is the thing they're doing now. | ||
| Well, the thing is, like, if it's so low, you're not going to have a performance-enhancing benefit. | ||
| It has to actually be in your system in order to have a performance-enhancing benefit. | ||
| But now, in 2019, they're actually considering lowering their standards so that, say, if you do take some creatine and it does have the tiniest trace amount of Osterene or something like that, that's not going to show up positive anymore. | ||
| Which is how maybe they should do it. | ||
| Because it's so strict now where it's tainting guys' legacy. | ||
| You look at Josh Barnett. | ||
| You look at Frank Merritt. | ||
| Josh Barnett's another one where they eventually cleared him. | ||
| But Jesus Christ, it took a year. | ||
| It's fucked up, man. | ||
| And then on top of that, everybody knew that he was under suspicion. | ||
| And Josh has tested positive before. | ||
| So everybody assumed that he was doing something. | ||
| Yeah, fucked him. | ||
| Nowitzki told me that the testing is so good now that if you and I were in this room... | ||
| And I had a jar of creatine that had steroids in it. | ||
| And I popped it open and the fucking dust got in the air. | ||
| And we ingested that dust. | ||
| We would both test positive. | ||
| From opening a jar in a room. | ||
| And that's crazy and good for them. | ||
| But I think there's an Elon Musk of steroid PEDs out there who's like, yeah, cool, man. | ||
| You guys are testing for this? | ||
| We're over here, you dumbasses. | ||
| I bet he's got a lot of Y's and Z's in his name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And G's. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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|
He's from Russia. | |
| He's just rich as fuck. | ||
| He lives in like a glass house. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Probably dead as we're speaking. | ||
| They probably shot him in the sleep. | ||
| Now. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they murk those guys. | ||
| Did you see Icarus? | ||
| Did you see that argument? | ||
|
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|
Yeah, I did. | |
| Insane, man. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| The lengths people go to. | ||
| Well, the whole Russian anti-doping program was horseshit. | ||
| They were just doping people. | ||
| State-sponsored doping. | ||
| And the fact that they had rigged the Sochi Olympics so that they got fake piss. | ||
| And you think they're the only country doing that? | ||
| Well, China did it. | ||
| For sure they did it in Beijing. | ||
| China's like, they were breaking gold medals. | ||
| And I think it's funny how people are like, this is ridiculous. | ||
| How could Russia do it? | ||
| I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| Even with John. | ||
| Let's say John did do some legal shit that we don't know of and he got away. | ||
| I don't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| I think a lot of guys are doing things. | ||
| I think it's part of every professional sport. | ||
| NFL, NBA, NHL, especially fighting, it's just, that's the nature of the beast. | ||
| Well, it's certainly a nature, I mean, it's definitely a part of sports. | ||
| It comes with a territory. | ||
| It's definitely a part of sports because it works. | ||
| You know what's interesting is like, why is it okay to take regular creatine? | ||
| Regular creatine works probably as good as microdosing any of this bullshit works. | ||
| You'd be surprised, but yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's some microdosing shit out there that the NFL guys can get their hands on or MLB that you're like, God damn. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Well, they say that microdosing actual testosterone is more effective because microdosing actual testosterone doesn't produce any random weird metabolites. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what A-Rod was doing. | ||
| He had like the form of gummy bears where right before he'd bat, he'd like pop this gummy bear and just be like, home run. | ||
| And then by the time he tests him after the game, he's good. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| How much did they take away from him after that? | ||
| Oh my god, man. | ||
| His whole legacy was tarnished. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Were you with me in Vegas this time we had Strip Steakhouse? | ||
| And A-Rod was there, and he was like, two smoke shows, and no one, like everyone was like, look at that fucking guy. | ||
| Were you there with me? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Everyone at the table is like, fuck that guy. | ||
| I'm like, why? | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| Like, dude, all the steroids. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, playing baseball. | ||
| Everyone's on steroids. | ||
| You hate him because of that? | ||
| That's a funny thing, though. | ||
| You're a cheater thing. | ||
| Like, that was the thing with Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa. | ||
| I hate to tell you, the guys pitching the balls to them, also juiced to the gills. | ||
| He fucked with Sammy Sosa so much, he turned himself into a white guy. | ||
| And went, fuck this noise, I'm going white. | ||
| Going super white. | ||
| Went ultra camouflage. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Not working, because he sticks out even more now. | ||
| Well, he's still doing interviews and shit. | ||
| And dresses like a asshole. | ||
| What is going on? | ||
| No, he does interviews, but just assumes, like, it's all good. | ||
| Yeah, he's, like, dressing up like the planter peanuts, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| And then when someone brings it up, he's like, what? | ||
| What do you mean, what's wrong with my skin? | ||
| I just use a lotion. | ||
| People are like, well, you're white, bro. | ||
| And he's like, what about it? | ||
| I like to look like this. | ||
| Like, no, I know, but what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Bleaching yourself. | ||
| With just straight up lotion. | ||
| Do you think he has spots on his back that he can't reach? | ||
| No, I bet it's girls. | ||
| She's like, dude, we can't have these fucking spots like your goddamn Dalimation. | ||
| The back of his back. | ||
| Dude, how about his dick? | ||
| There's no way all his dick wrinkles aren't black. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| You're not going to get all that. | ||
| It probably looks like a root, like a branch. | ||
| Do you have to? | ||
| To get all the nooks and crannies of the dick, you have to. | ||
| Do you get the taint? | ||
| Do you get your asshole bleached? | ||
| Imagine if you have a black hole for an asshole. | ||
| Does he look like a Jersey cow? | ||
| Is there just spots all over him? | ||
| Something to think about, bro. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look how white he is. | ||
| He doesn't look bad there, but it looks like he's wearing makeup, if I'm going to be honest. | ||
| Doesn't look good. | ||
| He looks like a goddamn Dick Tracy character. | ||
| It looks weird because, you know what, like the inside of his eyelids... | ||
| Like, that's dark. | ||
| Do you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Because you can't really get the whitening cream. | ||
| Dude, he looks like a goddamn vampire. | ||
| You can't get the whitening cream to your... | ||
| Well, if he was a regular guy and that's what he looked like, that'd be normal. | ||
| I mean, that's like Joey Diaz's skin color. | ||
| But it's like you get to his eyeliner. | ||
| Go to his eyeballs. | ||
| Make that larger. | ||
| Like, look. | ||
| Around his eye is dark. | ||
| And his earlobes. | ||
| Oh, that's weird. | ||
| The earlobes are freaking me out now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the inside of his nostrils. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can't look in it. | ||
| It's a nightmare. | ||
| It's a nightmare. | ||
| Very strange. | ||
| But he digs it. | ||
| I guess he likes it. | ||
| He's happy. | ||
| How hard were we howling at Joey Diaz's story the other night at the comedy story? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm telling you, he fucked up my rib. | ||
| That's what he used to look like. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He was a black guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Black Cuban. | ||
| Dude, he held court last night, too. | ||
| Same spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah, fuck. | |
| I missed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah, fuck. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Dude, he told a story about him taking a shit. | ||
| He sent me a picture of his shit. | ||
| Me, too. | ||
| The next morning, woke up. | ||
| He sent us a picture of his shit. | ||
| He goes, check out this voodoo stick. | ||
| He's talking about how he's eating, this isn't a bit, right? | ||
| He's eating sauerkraut and farting on the plane, and Lauryn Hill was like, what the fuck, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, I was sweating. | |
| I'm telling you, the next morning I woke up, I'm like, did I get punched in the ribs? | ||
| I'm like, oh no, fucking. | ||
| I texted her, I'm like, dude, your story fucked my ribs up last night. | ||
| Yeah, I had to run away. | ||
| I was about to go on stage. | ||
| I had to run away from him before, because I wouldn't have been able to think about my material. | ||
| I wouldn't have been able to think about what he was talking about. | ||
| I was laughing so hard. | ||
| He's the goat. | ||
| I gotta wrap this up. | ||
| Oh, my bad. | ||
| You got the FBI guy. | ||
| CIA. CIA. Yeah. | ||
| A little different than me, huh? | ||
| Maybe talk to him about fucking Picos. | ||
| See what he says about them. | ||
| I'm all about Picos right now. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| It's just in my head. | ||
| Well, it's a fun thing to run with. | ||
| Novitsi's like, Jesus Christ, shut up. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Saturday night, San Diego. | ||
| You'd be surprised. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| Brennan motherfucking Chubb. | ||
| Showtime special. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I'm running my one hour at Flappers in Burbank the night before on Friday. | ||
| Then you've been banging it out, man. | ||
| You've been hitting the road hard. | ||
| Edmonton, everywhere. | ||
| You've been touring. | ||
| Grinding, brother. | ||
| Punching it in. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| I'm proud of you. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| Saturday night. | ||
| We'll see ya. |
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