Aug. 21, 2010 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:41:54
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Four, three, two, one. | ||
| So we get here, and young Jamie is obsessed with whether or not Leonardo da Vinci is gay. | ||
| And so he says it to Callan, and then Callan says... | ||
| I said the Mona Lisa. | ||
| The Mona Lisa has a mischievous smile on her face. | ||
| And apparently, according to art historians, I believe that is a self-portrait. | ||
| And that was da Vinci himself in drag. | ||
| Is this a conspiracy theory, sir? | ||
| And that's why he is looking back at you with sort of a wry smirk. | ||
| I don't see that rye smirk. | ||
| Young Jamie, please pull up a photograph of the masterpiece. | ||
| No, I think this is... | ||
| This is real? | ||
| I think this is... | ||
| At least Dan Brown, his book, The Da Vinci Code, actually talks about it. | ||
| But I think this is standard. | ||
| You're talking about the Tom Hanks movies? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Good book. | ||
| Better book. | ||
| The book is a different thing than the movies. | ||
| Dan Brown, I think, is a professor of theology at Harvard, or something like that. | ||
| Okay, I don't see a sly smile. | ||
| I see a chick who lives in a place where the food sucks and her teeth are probably all fucked up. | ||
| She's a bit zofty. | ||
| She's zofty. | ||
| No, that's that dick smile, bro. | ||
| She has a smirk for sure. | ||
| Here's an interesting thing. | ||
| Do you know that people did have bad teeth back then? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But the majority of the teeth problems that we have in this country have to do with sugar. | ||
| I thought it was the water, the fluoride in the water. | ||
| No, fluoride in the water. | ||
| That fluoride in the water thing is so sketchy. | ||
| Have you ever looked into whether or not fluoride should be in the water? | ||
| Well, I know that in the 50s, Colorado had a high concentration of fluoride in its water, and apparently... | ||
| Apparently, Brad smokes weed and turns into the fucking professor. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| And another thing, everyone. | ||
| Apparently. | ||
| He's dead serious. | ||
| You're dead serious. | ||
| Apparently, if I could get my poker out, I'm going to poke at the board. | ||
| But I think it came out of Colorado where there was high concentrations of fluoride in the water. | ||
| And then what happened was they go, well, there's a cluster of people who are not getting cavities. | ||
| And so apparently fluoride is effective at keeping cavities at bay. | ||
| And I grew up overseas. | ||
| My teeth are fucking riddled with holes. | ||
| Did you eat sugar? | ||
| Not so much overseas, but I definitely didn't brush my teeth a lot and I didn't have fluoride. | ||
| Well, let's Google whether or not there's evidence that fluoride is good for tooth decay. | ||
| You think it's all marketing hype from press? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I've read too many hippie articles. | ||
| The problem is the hippie articles confuse you because it'll say naturalnewsletter.com. | ||
| They brush your teeth with coal and shit. | ||
| You don't know, man, because there's people that get all homeopathic on you and you're like, okay, is this guy right? | ||
| I'm going to go through 5,000 words here. | ||
| Is he right or is this horse shit? | ||
| Okay, now I've got to look up the actual studies. | ||
| Okay, now I've got to read this three times because I'm stupid and I can't figure out how to decipher it. | ||
| No evidence that fluoridated water causes cavities. | ||
| Reduces cavities, rather. | ||
| That's from Dr. Mercola. | ||
| Now, that's a one. | ||
| Now, I've posted articles from Mercola.com, and people go, oh, that guy's amazing. | ||
| And then other people go, oh, that guy's a fraud. | ||
| It's tough to figure out, isn't it? | ||
| I've read some stuff on Dr. Mercola. | ||
| What have you read? | ||
| Just like the same kind of stuff. | ||
| And he seems to be pretty... | ||
| Like he's a doctor, but that doesn't mean he's an expert on the gay or on looking at the hard evidence behind Florida. | ||
| Go to the American Dental Association, Florida and Water. | ||
| They must have some documentation. | ||
| Seven years of scientific research. | ||
| God, you guys are lucky that he's not here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Thank God right now. | ||
| He's on an evolution kick now. | ||
| More than 70 years of scientific research has consistently shown that an optimal level of fluoride in community water is safe and effective in preventing tooth decay. | ||
| Safe is a scary word. | ||
| Why would you be worried about that? | ||
| By at least 25% of both children and adults, simply by drinking water, Americans can benefit from fluorides, cavity protection, without their homework or school. | ||
| Centers for Disease Control and Prevention named Community Water Fluoridation, one of ten great public health achievements of the 20th century. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now, go to the one that says there's no evidence. | ||
| Because I got to... | ||
| Who the fuck is right here? | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| I would suggest... | ||
| That it's been around a long time. | ||
| It ain't hurting. | ||
| It has, but there's a lot of stuff. | ||
| Remember what the food pyramid used to look like? | ||
| It was all spaghetti at the bottom. | ||
| A comprehensive review by the Cochrane Collaboration found water fluoridation may not prevent cavities. | ||
| In a review of every fluoridation study they could find, only three since... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's the Cochrane? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Who's the Cochrane Collaboration? | ||
| I don't know, but let me finish talking. | ||
| I know you guys like to talk over each other, but let's try not to do that. | ||
| That's what we do, bro. | ||
| study they could find. | ||
| Only three studies since 1975 looked at the effectiveness of water fluoridation at reducing tooth decay among the general population and had high enough quality to be included. | ||
| The studies found fluoridation does not reduce cavities to a statistically significant degree in permanent teeth. | ||
| In the two studies since 1975 that examined the effectiveness of fluoridation in reducing cavities in baby teeth, no significant reduction was noted there either. | ||
| You know what I'm thinking right now? | ||
| You know what's going on in my head? | ||
| What's going on in my head right now is I go, I'm thinking, this is why Google is not a place to go for information a lot of times. | ||
| Well, that's not true. | ||
| You just have to be discerning. | ||
| This is why peer-reviewed papers are so important. | ||
| This is why really valuable journalists, scientific journalists especially, are important. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's exactly correct. | ||
| Fucking morons like us, we don't know who's right. | ||
| We just said something and people are going, well, know what? | ||
| So I feel like we have to get to the bottom of this. | ||
| We have to get the bottom of this. | ||
| Mythbusters or some shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but my dentist, we, the three of us. | |
| You guys never got to the bottom? | ||
| We haven't gotten to the bottom of anything. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| You can get to the bottom. | ||
| You can kind of look at general trends. | ||
| I said to my idol, I had all this metal in my teeth, right? | ||
| And my dentist, I was like, look, man, I've got to get it out. | ||
| Because, you know, It leaks mercury. | ||
| And he said, I know, I was on that study panel. | ||
| And if you look at the massive number of people that have metal in their mouth, you would be able to draw some pretty broad-based conclusions because you have such a huge human pool. | ||
| And they just haven't. | ||
| They do a lot of comprehensive studies. | ||
| Is this the same dentist who said your teeth are straight? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, this is a different one, and I'm wearing my Invisalign, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't go after my teeth, because they're going to be amazing. | ||
| Do you wear it at night? | ||
| I'm wearing them right now, and you can't tell. | ||
| Remember when Tom Cruise was like 50 and he got braces? | ||
| Sure do. | ||
| Everybody was like, yo. | ||
| Yo, what are you doing? | ||
| Then he came in with veneers. | ||
| He's like, you know what, my bad. | ||
| He also changed his voice. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Wait a minute, did he do that? | ||
| He went with veneers? | ||
| Oh, dude, you've never seen the before, after? | ||
| Yeah, they're brilliant. | ||
| His teeth are so good. | ||
| Veneers are amazing. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, bro. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I had a friend. | ||
| She did it. | ||
| One of the girls that I did news radio with. | ||
| I don't want to say her name. | ||
| Dude, I'll get us a three-for-one deal up in a four-for-one. | ||
| Jamie, you want some pearly whites? | ||
| If you look at the good ones, you're like, God damn, your teeth are fucking fantastic. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Tom Cruise. | ||
| What? | ||
| What, bitch? | ||
| Busted on the left. | ||
| See, I don't know if that is veneers or braces. | ||
| Oh, come on, bro. | ||
| Because he did wear braces. | ||
| Look at those. | ||
| I think those are his real teeth. | ||
| Dude, look at the left. | ||
| I think they're his real teeth. | ||
| And I think the one on the left is just, it could be photoshopped. | ||
| I don't remember them being that bad. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's photoshopped. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| See, that's when he's wearing braces. | ||
| His teeth are busted. | ||
| Those do look like his real teeth. | ||
| They do look real. | ||
| They wear braces. | ||
| I think those are his real teeth. | ||
| Go to him before braces. | ||
| What a ballsy move. | ||
| Go to him smiling in the color of money. | ||
| Because he was really young in that movie. | ||
| Yeah, top gun. | ||
| Tom Cruise, color of money. | ||
| He's such a beast, isn't he? | ||
| Tom Cruise is a monster. | ||
| I just watched The Color of Money on a flight. | ||
| It was fucking incredible. | ||
| Right there, the far left. | ||
| Yeah, those are his teeth, bro. | ||
| He just got braces. | ||
| Those front ones have been knocked out and those are fake. | ||
| No, no, this is a long time ago, man. | ||
| This is The Color of Money. | ||
| This is like 1986. Yeah, and I'm saying the rest of his teeth are the color yellow, and the middle ones are white. | ||
| But that's hard to tell. | ||
| You've seen dark shadows all over the place. | ||
| You can't really gauge. | ||
| Not of yellow. | ||
| Right there? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's so hard to gauge. | ||
| I've never seen his teeth look like that. | ||
| I've seen all his movies. | ||
| Gentlemen, you can't even see his right eye. | ||
| You're judging whether or not that's his teeth color. | ||
| You literally can't see his right eye because he's in so much shadow. | ||
| Those teeth don't look super suspect to you? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| No, they look like teeth right there. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| That's his teeth. | ||
| Those are normal. | ||
| His teeth were... | ||
| You're judging by today's standards. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Today they can make those teeth perfect like that. | ||
| Dude, if you had bad teeth back then, if you had fake teeth, they looked fake as fuck. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| His teeth, I will say this, his teeth were off-center. | ||
| Like, you know, the middle teeth, they were kind of pushed over to the right. | ||
| And now they're way better. | ||
| That's why he's smiling crooked. | ||
| 56, still doing action movies, still does his own stunts, jumps from building to building, breaks his ankle in filming. | ||
| Have you seen that shit? | ||
| No. | ||
| Apparently this Mission Impossible movie is a motherfucker. | ||
| And he's killing it. | ||
| They said it's killing it. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Best Mission Impossible yet, me too. | ||
| Everyone tells me it's great. | ||
| I keep hearing it's fantastic. | ||
| He's still awesome, I'm sorry. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| Awesome! | ||
| He's crazy as fuck, but he is awesome. | ||
| He's also nice as shit. | ||
| You know what else, dude? | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He jumps off this and breaks his fucking ankle. | ||
| Did he really do that? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| He does all his own stunts. | ||
| But watch when he lands. | ||
| Watch how jacked his ankle gets. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| All fucked up. | ||
| You ain't ready for that, B. You want to be a worldwide action hero? | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| Watch how it hits. | ||
| I didn't quite make it snap-a-roony. | ||
| Oh, fuck you! | ||
| That hurts! | ||
| And then, boujah! | ||
| Dick to the metal. | ||
| He still finishes. | ||
| He still finishes. | ||
| He still jumped over the top. | ||
| He's still in scene. | ||
| Homeboy slammed that concrete into his dick bone. | ||
| And look how he hobbled off. | ||
| He hobbled off when he got up. | ||
| That's why you have to have a stuntman, because you're going to get hurt. | ||
|
unidentified
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Bullshit! | |
| No, bro. | ||
| You guys are hardcore, man! | ||
| But he likes everything. | ||
| He does all the car driving stunts. | ||
| He hangs out the helicopters. | ||
| He does all that shit. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| You gotta look up your time for your shit. | ||
| I don't have to look up shit. | ||
| It's a free country. | ||
| He might have a dark wish for the end of one of those movies. | ||
| He might have a dark wish. | ||
| I feel like people discredit him because of the Scientology stuff. | ||
| They absolutely 100% do. | ||
| But listen, the Scientology thing is just how he gets by. | ||
| There's a lot of people that have their own ideologies, whether they believe it or not. | ||
| It might be radical left ideology. | ||
| There's a lot of conservative former actors that are super conservative that are on Twitter. | ||
| They're in a cult. | ||
| They're in a cult. | ||
| Everyone's wrapped up in this own little thing. | ||
| His thing is just crazy as fuck by a guy who was a science fiction author who wore a fucking captain's coat on with a bunch of medals he gave himself. | ||
| But they have some legit buildings. | ||
| You driven by them in Hollywood? | ||
| They have legit actors! | ||
| They have legit actors, man. | ||
| John Travolta. | ||
| Tom Cruise is fucking legit. | ||
| John Travolta's done some silly nonsense, but he's also done pulp fucking fiction. | ||
| He did Carrie when he was like really young. | ||
|
unidentified
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Good actor. | |
| Face Off? | ||
| Dude, he's a very good actor. | ||
| That was a terrible movie. | ||
| Face Off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a great movie! | |
| The one when they cut the face off and put it on the other person? | ||
| That could happen, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's Nick Cage. | |
| The bone structure magically changes, and Nick Cage looks like John Travolta. | ||
| Hold on, bro. | ||
| You don't like face off? | ||
| Somebody anti-technology. | ||
| Are you a terrorist? | ||
| You don't like fucking face off? | ||
| There's no way, bro. | ||
| Okay, what would it happen if Brian took his face off and put it on you? | ||
| I would think you were a monster. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, Brian got jacked. | |
| There's a monster here. | ||
| First of all, your head's way bigger, so your skin would be like some 60-year-old lady from Bel-Air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Those 60-year-old ladies where their mouth looks like it's so big it can eat your head? | ||
| Because they've been pulling their skin back to their mouth as like a joker? | ||
| They lose fat in their face as you get older. | ||
| Remember what you used to make fun of me for taking acting class? | ||
| And I stayed in acting class for eight years longer than I needed to because I love a train wreck. | ||
| And these two guys did a scene. | ||
| Jeffrey Tambor was teaching. | ||
| And these two guys did a scene. | ||
| From Face Off. | ||
| And the curtain comes up and one guy's hanging from a chain and the other guy's torturing him. | ||
| And then he goes, you killed them? | ||
| And he goes, yeah. | ||
| And he's hitting him and it's crazy. | ||
| And at the end of the scene, he's like, scene! | ||
| And everybody's like... | ||
| And then Jeffrey Tamber just takes a sip of his coffee and he goes, what was that scene? | ||
| And the guy goes, Face Off. | ||
| Face Off. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| He goes, it's a movie, it's an action movie with John Travolta and Nick Cage and Jeffrey Zimmer goes, that scene is banned forever. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| It's a good movie, man. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| God, his actual fucking I heard this Gotti movie's terrible. | ||
| Dude, I heard it's like the worst movie of all time. | ||
| I've heard it so bad. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I've heard it so bad. | ||
| I think it's out of the theaters already. | ||
| It has like a zero on Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| I saw that trailer and I got into it. | ||
| Okay, let's just Google how bad is the Gotti movie. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| A zero! | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Two out of ten. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That has to be correct. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He looks good. | ||
| He looks like a bomb. | ||
| He looks good. | ||
| He looks like a good god. | ||
| He can act his fucking ass off. | ||
| Did you see him in the O.J. Simpson on FX? Yeah. | ||
| When he played Shapiro? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He's a great actor, man. | ||
| He's great at everything, man. | ||
| He just does a lot of bad movies. | ||
| He's shorty. | ||
| Tom Cruise has not done a lot of bad movies. | ||
| No. | ||
| Tom Cruise has done, from End of Days even, like all those movies he didn't even do. | ||
| I loved him. | ||
| End of Days is fucking fantastic. | ||
| Might be his best movie. | ||
| You know what else is good? | ||
| Is that the one, Tomorrow Again? | ||
| He dies, he keeps dying. | ||
| Is that End of Days? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I'm thinking of a different one. | ||
| He did like two science fiction movies. | ||
| I'm thinking of Die Repeat. | ||
| Edge of Tomorrow? | ||
|
unidentified
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Die Repeat. | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
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That was what it was called? | |
| It was called Edge of Tomorrow originally. | ||
| We've talked about this before, they changed the name. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Because the marketing, because it came out, because the original marketing was Edge of Tomorrow, whatever the fuck. | ||
| But it came out as that. | ||
| And then people were like, no one showed up to it, but the people that went were like, that's like the greatest movie ever. | ||
| So then it started to gain traction. | ||
| They're like, hold up, we need to relabel this thing. | ||
| Then they relabeled it, and that movie's fucking, that might be his best movie. | ||
| It's a great fucking movie. | ||
| I mean, a great fucking science fiction movie. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| It is one of the most underrated science fiction movies ever. | ||
| And if you're a sci-fi fan and you avoided it just because, oh, it's a Tom Cruise movie, you fucked up. | ||
| Because it is amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I did a reading with him one time, and in the reading, it was literally me, him, Eric Stoltz, Amy Smart. | ||
| From what movie? | ||
| It was a movie that never got made called Men. | ||
| And I was reading all the parts opposite him and they were trying to get Owen Wilson. | ||
| So I was right next to him and I spent, I don't know, maybe three hours with him. | ||
| And it was a small... | ||
| Nobody was out. | ||
| Nobody else was in the room. | ||
| Like just Todd Phillips and a couple of actors. | ||
| He, in the reading, like in the reading as you're just doing it, Acting full out. | ||
| And amazing. | ||
| And just loves it. | ||
| And almost like his eyes were watery at one point where everything's like all the chips are down the scene. | ||
| And I was just like, this fucking dude is amazing. | ||
| And I kept staring at him. | ||
| And I believed everything he was doing. | ||
| And just sitting at a table. | ||
| And we get there. | ||
| He's a little late. | ||
| Just a little late. | ||
| Profusely apologizes. | ||
| He goes, guys, I haven't eaten. | ||
| Just give me a second. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| And he's just talking. | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| And he had... | ||
| Five pieces of sashimi with a tiny little pepper on each one and some penta water. | ||
| And he was like, thank you so much. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| And then we went out, read the thing. | ||
| And then he wanted to hear what all of us thought of the script, what our suggestions were. | ||
| And when he listens to you, His eyes sparkle. | ||
| His mouth moves in an O. You can be like, I think I was a little confused in the beginning. | ||
| He's like, hold on. | ||
| He's zeroed in on you. | ||
| And I was like, this guy loves me, man. | ||
| We're going to be best friends. | ||
| And that never happened. | ||
| We dated for a while. | ||
| He can put you in the new Mission Impossible or some shit. | ||
| I spent time with him. | ||
| Dude, you're not Scientology. | ||
| Well, he could get you to join. | ||
| I think he could get you to join. | ||
| I agree with that 100%. | ||
| But I wouldn't show up and I'd be like, yeah, of course I will. | ||
| Yeah, they would get mad that you weren't showing up. | ||
| But if you did show up and you charmed people there and just rubbed backs and tell everybody that you loved them. | ||
| I was in the class for 10 years that is cited in the book by Going Clear. | ||
| That whole class, I was in that class. | ||
| Dude, I remember. | ||
| You had me come to one of those little events. | ||
| You went to? | ||
| Sure did. | ||
| I went to an event, a thing that was going on. | ||
| Watched a guy sing. | ||
| We watched a guy sing while we were so high. | ||
| We were in like a neighboring dimension watching reality through a dirty mirror. | ||
| In the Scientology building? | ||
| I want to get in there so bad. | ||
| It was near there. | ||
| It was near there. | ||
| It was in a theater. | ||
| We were barbecued. | ||
| I mean, barbecued. | ||
| Freaking out. | ||
| Freaking out. | ||
| Watching this. | ||
| They were singing songs from musicals. | ||
| And it was not good. | ||
| And Joe was just like, wow. | ||
| This was amazing. | ||
| Dude, they have so much money. | ||
| I drove by the one in, it's kind of like the Silver Lake area, Hollywood. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| They got a lot of money. | ||
| Did you read Going Clear? | ||
| There's a lot of what's good about crazy. | ||
| What's good about crazy and about being, like, if you have a fucking purpose in life, man, it doesn't have to be rational. | ||
| But if you have a purpose, if you have a clear directive in terms of L. Ron Hubbard says this, so I'm just going to listen, and I'm going to push forward, and I'm going to stay positive, and I'm going to avoid the negative people, and I'm going to use all these tools in order to maximize my performance. | ||
| All good. | ||
| Shit works. | ||
| Yeah, all good. | ||
| It could be- Do your thing. | ||
| Some made-up nonsense. | ||
| And by the way, if you read anything about- By the way, when Callan's around, I started saying, by the way. | ||
| By the way. | ||
| If you read anything about L. Ron Hubbard, they essentially think that he was self-healing. | ||
| That he was creating that. | ||
| Yeah, he was past shit crazy. | ||
| Yeah, he was having real- He took an inventory of how his brain works. | ||
| Like, that's what he did. | ||
| He took a detailed inventory over many years of how the minutia of his brain worked. | ||
| And he really cataloged it. | ||
| So that's why some of it, he borrowed a lot of old wisdoms and stuff, but some of it works. | ||
| I love you made everyone wear like navy fucking outfits. | ||
| Like the commanders were like in navy fucking outfits. | ||
| But if you think about it, Christianity focused the European and American mind for a long time. | ||
| Everybody was on the same page, and it was very easy to kind of move things forward as a uniform body. | ||
| Nobody kind of disputed what the truth was until that's a recent invention. | ||
| With Hubbard, I feel like with Scientology, I'm pretty sure their sign-ups are going down because of research and with everyone coming out now. | ||
| Yeah, look at Sea Org. | ||
|
unidentified
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Look at that shit. | |
| Look at that shit. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Apparently that little dude there will whoop your ass, too. | ||
| The guy in the front? | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| He'll whoop your ass, you get out of line now. | ||
| Yeah, he's beat the shit out of everyone. | ||
| Oh, he beats the shit out of people, right? | ||
| Yeah, like if you're like, oh, sorry, sir, your ham sandwich is fucked up today, you beat your ass in front of everyone. | ||
| He'll legitimately kick people's asses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Who's that said that? | ||
| David Miscavige? | ||
| His dad? | ||
| Is that his dad? | ||
| His dad and also on the documentary talk about how abusive he is. | ||
| Yeah, the book is crazy. | ||
| He goes into detail about David Miscavige. | ||
| Yeah, Tom Cruise kicking the nuts. | ||
| I'm sorry, what was his dad's name? | ||
| Ron. | ||
| Ron Miscavige. | ||
| Sorry, Ron. | ||
| Sorry, Ron. | ||
| He did the podcast. | ||
| He's an interesting guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right. | |
| Made me sad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He doesn't talk to his son. | ||
| That's the thing that made me the most sad, that the dad and the son don't talk to each other over some nonsense. | ||
| The best thing I ever heard was a guy I knew who was a teacher and he was a Scientologist and had been for 23 years. | ||
| And somebody said, are you a Scientologist? | ||
| And he kind of got caught up and he said... | ||
| Well, let's examine that for a sec. | ||
| I've taken classes there for 20 years, and I've found enormous benefit from some of them, and some of them I've paid money for. | ||
| Some of them I've found zero benefit from. | ||
| And I put into practice some of the courses and stuff. | ||
| So if that makes me a Scientologist, I guess I am. | ||
| It was kind of a good answer. | ||
| That's a very good answer. | ||
| You can get that out of a lot of things. | ||
| There's a lot of things that are like that that have some nonsense in them. | ||
| But I think people operate really well when they have a scaffolding, like a structure that they have to follow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a blueprint. | |
| Yeah, and then they have a purpose. | ||
| They think there's a positive action to their directive and that there's going to be some grand plan that they fit into perfectly because of their work. | ||
| Nothing wrong with that either. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| If that works for you, I don't give a shit. | ||
| Until the contract... | ||
| But it's just if you believe, yeah, right? | ||
| Look at Leah Remini. | ||
| I mean, Leah Remini, she is the worst fucking person to do this to. | ||
| Keep her in! | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| Do whatever you gotta do, man. | ||
| Leah doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| She doesn't give a fuck, and she likes being that girl. | ||
| That's her, she likes that role. | ||
| It's almost like she was designed, because it didn't make sense that she was in Scientology to begin with when I met her. | ||
| Because when I met her, she's like this take-no-bullshit East Coast chick who's also beautiful. | ||
| So I was like, huh, she's a Scientologist? | ||
| I always got along with her. | ||
| She was always very friendly. | ||
| But there was always this, like, be careful. | ||
| Don't say anything stupid, Jones. | ||
| Like, all right, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, I felt the same way. | ||
| I had such a crush on her in Saved by the Bell. | ||
| She had so much power. | ||
| So here's the thing. | ||
| If she's got all this—was she in that? | ||
| She was in Saved by the Bell? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Summer edition. | ||
| Like, she's got all this, like, brass and the way... | ||
| How does she get sucked into that? | ||
| Well, she was a little kid. | ||
| That's how. | ||
| She's super young, right? | ||
| She grew up in it. | ||
| She got sold a bill of goods, and so she was like, wait a minute. | ||
| Boy, they should have kept her. | ||
| But how did Tom Cruise... | ||
| Yeah, they fucked up. | ||
| I never lived with Tom Cruise. | ||
| How'd they get Tom, though? | ||
| Like, Tom wasn't that young. | ||
| He was very young. | ||
| That's how they get him? | ||
| And John Travolta? | ||
| Well, I think people want something that makes it. | ||
| Look, I bought the book. | ||
| I bought Dianetics. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I bought it through a late night ad. | ||
| You bought it? | ||
| 1994, son. | ||
| Pre-internet. | ||
| I was at home, chilling in my apartment in North Hollywood, and I was like, damn, this sounds like they're making a lot of sense here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it does make sense. | ||
| The volcano, the lava. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| But some of it does make sense, right? | ||
| What are you, 35? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, I'm 50. 15 years older than you. | ||
| You gotta think, you don't really remember before the internet. | ||
| You're like an infant, okay? | ||
| I was here as a grown man when the internet hit in 1994. But before that, you would get late night infomercials. | ||
| You'd be buying fucking squeegees and shit. | ||
| We were pre-cell phones. | ||
| Yeah, I was pre-cell phone, bro. | ||
| Yeah, when I met Brian, he didn't have a phone. | ||
| No, I know you guys are older. | ||
| But I'm just telling you, this is, Dianetics was something you'd see on late night television. | ||
| It was really compelling. | ||
| Because you couldn't do any research. | ||
| Dude, there was no Google. | ||
| There was no YouTube. | ||
| Eddie Bravo would have been lost. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The word is bombed. | |
| Eddie would have lost the YouTube knowledge. | ||
| No, but it's just, with all of us, no one really knew. | ||
| This is how a lot of things snuck through. | ||
| So you were curious. | ||
| You weren't all the way in. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| No, I never went... | ||
| We never thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone or any of those people were doing steroids. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| We didn't. | ||
| I was seven and knew that before hearing that. | ||
| I knew they were doing steroids. | ||
| When I saw Rambo 2, I just thought that was from weightlifting. | ||
| No, I knew a dude who did steroids when I was in high school. | ||
| Right, but I didn't know that Hollywood... | ||
| I didn't know when you see Demolition Manor. | ||
| I just thought... | ||
| I was like, dude, how did they get so fucking cut? | ||
| I gotta start working out. | ||
| I didn't know... | ||
| Maybe because I wasn't in the workout world, but I mean... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Back then, all of us were naive to steroids. | ||
| We really were. | ||
| Here's the thing is, man, you could find out, like, okay, what is Scientology based on? | ||
| You could find out. | ||
| You could find in, okay, does chiropractic medicine work? | ||
| You could Google stuff now, and you could look, okay, does fluoride cure cavities? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We didn't get an answer. | ||
| We didn't get an answer, but we might be able to at least get a sense. | ||
| And you also get a sense of, like, here's the critics of Mercola. | ||
| This is what their perspective is. | ||
| Here's the critics of this naturopathic site that might say some unfounded things about vaccinations or about something. | ||
| There's always some... | ||
| You can get a sense. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But at least you have a chance. | ||
| In 94, dude, when I came out, we didn't have a chance. | ||
| Not a chance. | ||
| I had Anthony Robbins' cassettes. | ||
| I had a fucking vinyl thing, and you open it up, and you have all these different cassettes, and I would listen to those by the pool in my shitty apartment in Revere. | ||
| Tony Robbins? | ||
| But didn't you get a lot from him? | ||
| I got a lot from him. | ||
| He's legit as fuck. | ||
| I got a lot out of him. | ||
| Tony Robbins is legit. | ||
| Now there's a bunch of people trying to do this shit. | ||
| There's a lot of frauds. | ||
| Tony Robbins knows how the human brain works. | ||
| I found him enormously helpful. | ||
| But there's guys that... | ||
| It's the same thing as with musicians or with carpenters or with comedians. | ||
| There's people that are just kind of bumbling through it, and there's people that kill it. | ||
| And when it comes to the self-help, personal growth type shit, he kills it. | ||
| Here's what's interesting. | ||
| People are so goofy that, you know, he does those cold walk things. | ||
| These dumb motherfuckers are trying to take selfies while they're cold walking and they're burning their feet off. | ||
| Because these stupid fucks actually believe that the power of their will is keeping them from... | ||
| This is how it works, you idiots. | ||
| Okay, coals. | ||
| I only found this out a couple days ago. | ||
| Coals are not very good at projecting heat. | ||
| That's why you put a fucking frying pan down. | ||
| That's a conductor of heat. | ||
| You want that metal. | ||
| The metal's going to cook well. | ||
| Things don't cook that good on Kohl's. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| It's like a really hot pan will fuck you up way quicker than Kohl's. | ||
| So you can run on Kohl's if you move quick. | ||
| You just got to go quick. | ||
| At the end, you'll be like, ah, ooh, ah. | ||
| But you can actually do it. | ||
| If you have some calluses on your feet and you move quick enough, you won't get burnt. | ||
| Sold. | ||
| But these dummies didn't even move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just stood there and said, And they're like, oh shit. | |
| They just took pictures on fucking coals! | ||
| They're like, I've just got the power of now! | ||
| By the way, that's so inconvenient because you can't walk anywhere. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Game over, bro. | |
| Do you know Shane Mouse? | ||
| No. | ||
| The stand-up comic? | ||
| No. | ||
| He was hiking at night and jumped off of like a cliff and landed on his feet and broke both of his feet. | ||
| Fucking A. He jumped and landed like 10 feet below. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn it. | |
| In the mountains. | ||
| He had to figure out how to get down. | ||
| And he was... | ||
| He just fucked up. | ||
| He made a mistake. | ||
| I forget the exact story. | ||
| Do you remember the exact story? | ||
| It was like a very normal jump. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wasn't anything crazy. | |
| He didn't jump somewhere. | ||
| He just dropped or took a step down. | ||
| I might be conflating him with someone else. | ||
| There was another person I know that fell at night and they... | ||
| It might be a different story. | ||
| I'm thinking of a second guy who also fell on cliffs. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| Shane Miles broke both of his feet. | ||
| I think he was in crutches for like six months. | ||
| I think it was the book Blood Meridian. | ||
| And he talks about, and this apparently was a practice. | ||
| Sometimes there was a tribe this cowboy gets captured by these Native Americans and the Americans killed his whole posse And then they take him and they take his feet his shoes off and they just cut the first layer of his Feet off they kind of give a nice shaving so that just the soles of his feet are taken off and And so he would have to crawl back into town to explain to them who the fuck was out there. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| He had to crawl like 10 miles and shit. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He says, the second I landed, I knew I broke both my heels. | ||
| My left foot was in really bad shape. | ||
| The right foot wasn't bad. | ||
| I could still use my right toes. | ||
| So with the help of my friend who had to hike around the other way after we decided the jump may not be the best idea, I had to spend the next two hours scooting down the mountain on my butt, hands, and right toes until we got to a flat enough surface where he and some strangers could carry me to his car. | ||
| He and his wife then had to go a couple of hospitals until we found an ER that was not too busy to see me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| My favorite part is, you know, it was my birthday, quick hike, have some sushi, catch a movie, pretty low-key night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, so he, look at this, the shortcut I'd want to try involved jumping off a cliff that was about 11 feet. | ||
| I was wearing some barefoot running shoes that were not appropriate for landing, and I thought it would be too high of a jump. | ||
| We looked into it for a few minutes and talked about it, and then we decided to go for it because we were dumb guys, and that's the sort of thing that dumb guys do. | ||
| So he jumped 11 feet onto fucking rock in barefoot shoes and smashed his feet. | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| That is so crazy to do. | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| Before anesthesia and x-rays... | ||
| When you did that, who'd you go to? | ||
| Oh, you came over. | ||
| Well, you got back to town even. | ||
| What would they do? | ||
| We're going to have to try to set your ankle because that's not a complicated joint. | ||
| Back then, you're fucked. | ||
| Back then, you're right. | ||
| So fucked. | ||
| You're just a cripple. | ||
| Think about how tall 11 feet is and then jumping from that down to rocks. | ||
| Dude, I don't even like running in those barefoot shoes. | ||
| It's hard on your feet even then. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I run on them, but I got to be careful where I step. | ||
| I have to be careful. | ||
| You can't step on a jagged rock because it goes... | ||
| Whereas if you're wearing something like these, these are trail running shoes, I run these, I can step on anything with these fucking things. | ||
| So I alternate when I trail run, I alternate with shoes like this, that I can just run on anything, and then those Vibrams or the Vivo barefoot ones, but you gotta be careful with those things. | ||
| Fuck jumping from 11 feet. | ||
| That! | ||
| A basketball hoop's 10 feet? | ||
| Another foot above that. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Jumping under rocks. | ||
| That's crazy high. | ||
| That's what guys do. | ||
| That is crazy high. | ||
| That is such a dumb thing to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, they don't. | |
| Breaking your feet or your ankles or your legs. | ||
| Man, you break your elbow, you're like, shit, it broke my elbow. | ||
| Still good, though. | ||
| You're going to be all right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're going to be all right. | ||
| But you can get a blister, apparently, in the wrong place when you're hiking way up in the mountains, and it can kill you. | ||
| John Wayne Parr got a blister on his foot, or in his heel. | ||
| He had his heel cracked, got it infected. | ||
| He was in Thailand. | ||
| It infected, and he missed his daughter's fight and had to stay in a hospital in Thailand and get IV antibiotics. | ||
| It must have been so bad, because John's a knight. | ||
| He's a badass. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| And his daughter's fighting in Thailand. | ||
| I mean, you know, and he basically, he started his whole career in Thailand, practically. | ||
| Dude, crazy. | ||
| His foot was all swollen up. | ||
| Like, you gotta be careful with your feet, man. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Don't jump off cliffs. | ||
| You ever had an ingrown toenail? | ||
| My brothers were so bad when he was in high school. | ||
| I went with him. | ||
| They kept growing into it. | ||
| They had to take needles, numb his fucking, underneath his toenail, and then yank his toenails off. | ||
| Well, that's a problem! | ||
| And then singe the top so the toenail doesn't grow back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| So it just looks like the bottom of your, his foot looks like the bottom of your foot. | ||
| So he doesn't have a nail. | ||
| There's no nails. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But that was because they were ingrown, or was there a fungus? | ||
| No, he was born like that. | ||
| They kept growing in. | ||
| So he has no nails now? | ||
| No nails. | ||
| That's creepy. | ||
| It's very creepy. | ||
| Soft as shit, though. | ||
| Feels like a koala's nose. | ||
| My dad's got some nails, and under those nails is about 78 years of fungus. | ||
| Those are some thick nails. | ||
| He's got nails, I mean, about as thick as the lid of this table right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, what is it with old dude's toes? | |
| And their ashy ass heels that are all cracking. | ||
| He's got a size 14 shoe too, by the way. | ||
| His foot is that thick. | ||
| Oh, your dad got a dick on him. | ||
| He's got a piece on him. | ||
| So I opened up for Brian in Chicago and I do like this dirty bit right in the back and his mom and his dad, I'm like, oh, it hit me right when they walked in. | ||
| I went, oh, fuck. | ||
| I just did that in front of Brian's mom, dad, his two kids and his wife. | ||
| I was like, notice I just went quiet. | ||
| I was so, I was like, oh fuck. | ||
| You were great. | ||
| He was funny though. | ||
| He was funny. | ||
| You gotta do what you gotta do. | ||
| That's what I was like. | ||
| You guys decided to come. | ||
| You decided to come. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not changing it for you. | ||
| No, I can't. | ||
| I gotta do my thing. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| Don't get mad at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They loved it. | |
| I was so embarrassed. | ||
| It's comedy. | ||
| Don't get mad. | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| Don't get mad. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Great shows. | ||
| Shout out to Chicago. | ||
| Thalia Hall, thanks everybody for coming out. | ||
| Sold out three shows. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So when you do this now, is this a self-funded thing? | ||
| No, this is Comedy Dynamics. | ||
| So they're doing a lot of specials now, right? | ||
| Yeah, and they did a great job. | ||
| I love the space. | ||
| It looked amazing. | ||
| How many different specials have they done? | ||
| 270. That is incredible. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot. | |
| That's incredible. | ||
| They might be the most ever. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Who's done more? | ||
| I don't think anybody. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Brian Volkweis. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| But they did such a good job, and I captured everything I wanted to, so I'm pumped. | ||
| I think it's the best thing I've ever done. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Chicago's a great fucking town to do that too. | ||
| God, it's great. | ||
| God, I love that place. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I wasn't a fan until we did this. | ||
| Such a history of events where improv was invented. | ||
| It's just a great town too. | ||
| It's got a lot of different qualities. | ||
| It's got a bit of Midwest politeness and it's got a big city mentality all together. | ||
| It's a weird spot. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's a weird spot because it's like a little bit of both. | ||
| Great food. | ||
| Friendly ass people. | ||
| People not afraid to get fat. | ||
| That is correct, sir. | ||
| I'm not afraid to carve it up. | ||
| Carb Central. | ||
| I mean, they looked at pizza when they went, this is not unhealthy enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's make this shit about six inches deep. | |
| Bro, we had no fucking pizza out there, Brian. | ||
| Oh my god, Chicago's now America's rat capital. | ||
| Chicago beats out New York City, Boston, and Washington, D.C. as America's rat capital. | ||
| Okay, here's the problem with this. | ||
| Rat's a problem. | ||
| They don't know how many rats are out there. | ||
| They're just bullshitting. | ||
| They're not doing a detailed fucking analysis. | ||
| Dude, you don't know where they live. | ||
| Yeah, well, how do you know how many... | ||
| How do they really know how many rats there are in New York? | ||
| Are they just guessing? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think they can actually... | ||
| Don't they... | ||
| Can't they tell by, like... | ||
| Like, my buddy had a... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| This is off of complaints. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That means Chicago's complaining more. | |
| Chicago, known for being bitches more than here. | ||
| Also, people are inside more than Boston. | ||
| Be scared of a fucking rodent. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Who am I going to call about a rat? | ||
| That's why LA's not on there. | ||
| Don't give a fuck. | ||
| Dude, my buddy bought a building in New York and he had to clean it out in the basement. | ||
| Jimmy Burke told me, my buddy Steve Shucker, was coming out when they were killing them. | ||
| They were poisoning them. | ||
| They were coming out with garbage bags, the industrial-sized garbage bags full of rats, and they did it for three days. | ||
| It was thousands, tens of thousands. | ||
| Is there like 60 million rats or some shit? | ||
| That documentary on Netflix. | ||
| That documentary on Netflix is insane. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| A nice clean rat, though, I like, man. | ||
| Cutie pie. | ||
| Yeah, a little cutie that someone's got as a pet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're cool. | |
| Until they carry the bubonic plate. | ||
| I like the white ones with red eyes, though. | ||
| I think they decided that that's not true. | ||
| I think they decided that it was actually the fleas that were on the rats that carried the plague. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| It was the fleas. | ||
| The fleas, yes. | ||
| So you can't really blame the rats. | ||
| No, but the rats carried the fleas, exactly. | ||
| Right, but that's like we carried the bubonic plague. | ||
| We're going to blame humans for the plague? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, we always look to like, oh, it's swine flu, bro. | ||
| Came from the pigs. | ||
| Giant rat bigger than a dog near the playground. | ||
| That's a nutria. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's a nutria. | ||
| Dude, that's Master Splinter. | ||
| No, it's a different kind of animal. | ||
| It's a nutria. | ||
| It's from West Africa. | ||
| It's still a giant fucking version of a rat. | ||
| Yeah, but they have a lot of those. | ||
| You know, they're starting to see those in Texas now. | ||
| They're spreading across the lower part of this country. | ||
| Can you make them pets? | ||
| They're kind of cool. | ||
| Apparently they're good eating. | ||
| They're like a beaver. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Dave Attell had an episode of his TV show. | ||
| Remember that TV show that we do? | ||
| Insomniac? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, I like that show. | ||
| And they went nutria hunting. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they're fucking everywhere. | ||
| I think it was in Louisiana. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't quite remember. | ||
| It was somewhere in the south. | ||
| But when those motherfuckers take hold... | ||
| Once they're there, it's real difficult to shake them off. | ||
| Ranella actually had an episode of his podcast about a place where they were killing off the nutria and how they figured out how to do it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a crazy thing, that little animal. | ||
| Somebody brought it over here. | ||
| Did you see crazy animals? | ||
| I saw your Instagram joke. | ||
| How were the crazy-ass animals in Thailand? | ||
| You know what the most depressing thing was? | ||
| We went to one of those tiger sanctuary things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Oh, were they on, like, night crew or some shit? | ||
| Dude, they're drugged the fuck up for sure. | ||
| You know how you can tell? | ||
| Because people get in there? | ||
| Well, first of all, because the babies, they'll let you touch the babies first. | ||
| There's different packages. | ||
| You can package the baby package or the young lion package or the giant lion package. | ||
| Get that VIP package? | ||
| I'll take baby. | ||
| The babies are adorable. | ||
| These little cute things, but they're super like playful and active and big. | ||
| And then you get to like a little bigger and they seem to be behaving normal and they have a bunch of trainers in there with them. | ||
| And then you get to the big ones and the big ones are fucking doped out of their mind. | ||
| Like they just gave them a bucket of heroin. | ||
| So they're just laying there like this, like looking at you. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Dude, none of them got up. | ||
| That's a bummer. | ||
| They just lay there. | ||
| And people lay next to them and hug them and take pictures with them. | ||
| You're out for goddamn money. | ||
| Dude, but it's weird to watch. | ||
| You didn't let your kids and wife do that, no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right now. | |
| No, me neither. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| The line's like, oh, fuck, I feel better. | ||
| We were there. | ||
| We didn't know what it was until we got there. | ||
| I got super depressed immediately. | ||
| But when we were there, the oldest we got to was a nine-month cat. | ||
| And that cat does not seem like it's drugged up at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How big? | |
| They're young. | ||
| They're pretty big, man, like a mastiff. | ||
| It'll fuck you up. | ||
| Still fuck you up. | ||
| Giant cat, but still. | ||
| Oh, 100% fuck you up, dude. | ||
| But it's like a seven-month, eight-month, nine-month cat, and they're big like a dog. | ||
| Like a big dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Enjoy that shit. | ||
| Right, like, you ever see a mastiff at six months? | ||
| It's pretty big. | ||
| Yeah, six months. | ||
| Cat's bigger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn. | |
| So this thing is bigger than that, you know, probably 175 pounds, something like that, 200 pounds, and it's just hanging around, and they have all these trainers that are just, like, around the cat all the time. | ||
| We're like, what in the fuck are we doing here? | ||
| What are they going to do if that cat's like, you know what? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| They have guns and stuff? | ||
| They have sticks with them. | ||
| The cats are listening to them for the most part. | ||
| But then it gets to an untenable size. | ||
| 500 pounds? | ||
| Yeah, and they have these things in these cages. | ||
| And then there was other ones that clearly weren't drugged up. | ||
| Like you pass by one cage, and this one's just walking back and forth and pacing and looking at you and looking at everybody. | ||
| I'm like, okay, he's awake. | ||
| He's legit. | ||
| He just got off his meds. | ||
| That's not stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, and these other ones are just dragged down like this. | ||
| That's a bummer. | ||
| It is a drag, man. | ||
| Was your wife bummed out too? | ||
| Everybody was bummed out. | ||
| Everybody was bummed out. | ||
| It's a drag, man. | ||
| They found one that was selling tiger parts. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure, man. | ||
| People are poor. | ||
| They're fucking taking risks. | ||
| Gallbladder and shit. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Yeah, the bear gallbladder is apparently such an issue that some Asian countries want bear gallbladder. | ||
| Some people like it. | ||
| It's like some sort of a delicacy. | ||
| It's supposed to have some weird properties to it. | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| Probably like rhino horn type properties. | ||
| But it's so bad that in British Columbia, if you hunt bear, like say if you hunt a black bear, you're not allowed to open up the body cavity. | ||
| Okay, you have to take the meat off the outside. | ||
| You can't even go into the body cavity. | ||
| Yeah, they have a law against it because they don't want people harvesting bear gallbladders and they don't want people killing them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Bare bile does have medicinal uses, but there are cruelty-free alternatives. | ||
| Bare bile has been used in traditional Asian medicine for thousands of years. | ||
| It contains high levels of, good luck with this word, ursodeoxycholic acid, known to be useful for treating liver and gallbladder conditions. | ||
| So it does have some medicinal value to it. | ||
| Still, though. | ||
| But I had friends that were bear hunting, and people were asking them for the gallbladders, and they were like, it's illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He's like, I'll just get it for my grandma. | ||
| She really likes it. | ||
| You're like, get the fuck out of here, man. | ||
| It's a bad thing to have. | ||
| If you get caught with it, it's like you're getting caught with something. | ||
| It's not legal to possess a part of an animal that it's legal for you to kill it. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| Stop and think about that. | ||
| You can kill it. | ||
| You can kill the animal. | ||
| You just can't possess a part of its body. | ||
| You're not allowed to open its cavity. | ||
| Is there any other animal like that? | ||
| Not that I know of. | ||
| Not really, right? | ||
| It goes to waste. | ||
| You could use it, but you can't use it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weird. | |
| Because so many people want it that they made it illegal to have it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because bile's always been used, apparently. | ||
| It's one of the compounds or whatever it is that's used. | ||
| It's good birth control. | ||
| Put it in your mouth. | ||
| Nobody will want to have anything to do with you. | ||
| No, but it's used for medicine. | ||
| Some medicines like disinfectants. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bile was always a traditional medicine that actually worked. | ||
| I mean, if you mixed it with stuff. | ||
| How were the elephants down there, though? | ||
| I love an elephant. | ||
| That was way different. | ||
| The elephant was a really positive experience because the elephants are in a rehab center where they actually reintroduce them back to the wild. | ||
| And we see the way these people, first of all, they're not contained. | ||
| They roam. | ||
| Not only do they roam, there's no fence. | ||
| So the people move with them? | ||
| Bro, they come out of the forest? | ||
| Yeah, the people are all there with them, taking care of them, feeding them. | ||
| They're constantly giving them sugarcane, washing them, cleaning them. | ||
| And when you're there, they document, they're trying to explain how all the money that you pay for to experience hanging out with these elephants for a day goes to rehabilitation. | ||
| It goes to food, and they've reintroduced seven elephants into the wild through this one facility, which is giant. | ||
| So they live wild. | ||
| In Thailand, obviously. | ||
| There's a lot of elephants in Thailand. | ||
| I always forget that. | ||
| And so where these people are, the forest is like super dense, man. | ||
| And the elephants just wander through the forest eating whatever the fuck they want. | ||
| It is crazy to see, man. | ||
| So they're kind of wild. | ||
| They're wild. | ||
| They're wild, but they're not. | ||
| See, a lot of them came from zoos. | ||
| A lot of them came from circuses. | ||
| But they can be... | ||
| Look, they're basically living like they would in the wild. | ||
| So it's not a giant stretch to take them and reintroduce them to a place as long as there's food. | ||
| They're fairly tame. | ||
| They're so big, dude. | ||
| They do whatever the fuck they want. | ||
| Do you grab their fucking trunks? | ||
| Are they soft? | ||
| No, it's hard as a rock. | ||
| There's 600 muscles in their trunk alone and no bones. | ||
| 600 muscles just in the trunk. | ||
| Their physical strength is so insane, dude. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| When you're around them and you realize, like, oh, God. | ||
| I'm not shit. | ||
| The riding them was sketchy. | ||
| Like, it's sketchy because you worry, well, what if they fall? | ||
| Like, one of them slipped a little bit and caught itself. | ||
| And one lady did fall off. | ||
| And she was okay. | ||
| But it's a possibility that you could fall off of a fucking elephant, which you're ten feet up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, these are, some of them, this one lady had a, I had a female that I was riding. | ||
| This one lady, and you're only riding it for like 20 minutes. | ||
| Were you in a basket? | ||
| Were you in a basket or just on it? | ||
| No, you're just on it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Holding onto a rope. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| They put a rope around the waist and you hold onto the rope. | ||
| It's like loosely around the, you're barely on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You're barely on. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And if they wanted you off, you're off instantly. | ||
| You weigh nothing to them. | ||
| Or if it was like, oh, my back itches. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| The one I had was giant, and the one this lady had next to me was literally 30%, 40% larger than hers. | ||
| It was so big. | ||
| And it was a male. | ||
| And when it trumpets, when it just decided to... | ||
| Like right next to everybody, everybody went... | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So loud? | ||
| You just realize what it is. | ||
| It was raining every day there. | ||
| It rains constantly. | ||
| This is a rainy season too. | ||
| And this elephant is moving through the mist in the forest and just eating whatever it wants with these giant white tusks. | ||
| And I'm like, that is a crazy living being. | ||
| That is a crazy majestic animal. | ||
| Have you seen that video? | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| Have you seen the video where there's a bull elephant hitting a Mack truck? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, where it trucks it over? | |
| They've had a bunch of them in India where they get tired of being abused and they just go nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unbelievable. | |
| But with this thing, these animals were loved. | ||
| Like, you could really tell. | ||
| First of all, you're feeding them with your hands. | ||
| You know, when we give them a sugar cane, you're so scared because his mouth is giant. | ||
| But you put it in there and they're just super gentle, man. | ||
| They don't snap at it and wait for you. | ||
| Is the end of their trunk soft? | ||
| Nothing's soft. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's soft. | ||
| I mean, it's not like a bone. | ||
| But the trunk is insanely powerful. | ||
| They just grab shit with that thing and rip it out of the roots. | ||
| Such a cool animal. | ||
| Snap things like logs and shit with their trunks. | ||
| And they say they can feel like what humans feel. | ||
| Like when one dies, they mourn shit of it. | ||
| Yeah, well, they definitely have incredible memories because there was one video of an elephant meeting an elephant that had been separated from for 20 years. | ||
| And they met each other and they run to each other and they're bouncing around. | ||
| Yeah, they recognize each other. | ||
| They're like this really calm, weird animal that eats everything, dude. | ||
| You realize, like, one of the things I was thinking, I was like, imagine if you had one of these that lived in your yard. | ||
| You would have no yard. | ||
| And this is the problem that people have in Africa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, I'm a giant fan of elephants, but if you're a poor farmer and you live in this... | ||
| Wipe out your crop. | ||
| Yeah, they just go right through your crops. | ||
| You can't do anything about it. | ||
| You're starving. | ||
| You have children. | ||
| Imagine you. | ||
| You have your little boy, and your little boy's going to go hungry now because these elephants just want to eat whatever the fuck... | ||
| They don't understand that you grew this. | ||
| We go on elephant hunting. | ||
| Well, this is the argument for controlling some of the population. | ||
| Because we always think, we say, oh, elephants are endangered. | ||
| Well, they definitely are in some places. | ||
| But in other places, in certain areas, they have large populations. | ||
| You've got to realize how big Africa is. | ||
| I mean, have you ever seen the map where they take America and they put it inside of Africa? | ||
| And they put Asia inside of Africa? | ||
| No, let me see that. | ||
| I've not seen that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Africa's giant. | ||
| But do we have to kill them? | ||
| Can't we redirect these fucking things? | ||
| It's a lot of money to do. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The real problem is the money. | ||
| Because you maybe could grab them and capture them and move them. | ||
| I'm not talking about fucking helicopters. | ||
| Good luck moving them. | ||
| But that's how they do it when they put them in a zoo. | ||
| I mean, there has to be some capturing and moving. | ||
| You go a very short distance with that and you have to tranquilize them. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| We got the cloth underneath. | ||
| We're going to lift them back. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look how big Africa is. | ||
| No, that's not true. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| That is, bro. | ||
| Africa, B? Africa is so big, dude. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It has all of China in it, all of the United States. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| All of India. | ||
| I'm amazed at that. | ||
| All of Japan, all of Spain. | ||
| Dude, that's nuts. | ||
| Dude, all of Italy. | ||
| All of China. | ||
| Dude, does it have Japan in it? | ||
| Did I make that up? | ||
| Yeah, Japan's over... | ||
| No. | ||
| I made it up. | ||
| Oh, Japan's at the bottom. | ||
| Yeah, Japan's at the bottom. | ||
| So that's real. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| That's so big. | ||
| So, okay, so imagine the United States. | ||
| Imagine if we are over here in California, and we're like, yeah, I don't see any fucking elephants. | ||
| Meanwhile, in New York, they're just getting trampled to death through Manhattan. | ||
| And we're like, don't kill the elephants, bro! | ||
| They're nowhere! | ||
| Look! | ||
| Look around Calabasas! | ||
| You don't see a single fucking elephant, man! | ||
| Don't be an asshole! | ||
| Meanwhile, your granny's getting stomped to death. | ||
| New York's like bitch. | ||
| But there's very little continuous habitat for the migrations, apparently. | ||
| It's all broken up. | ||
| I think there's a lot of problems with the places where they're underpopulated, the places where they're overpopulated. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's a crazy, amazing animal. | ||
| It would be really nice if people could figure out a way to live in peace with it. | ||
| It is a fascinating animal to be around. | ||
| They were saying how... | ||
| I was watching this on Animal Planet or some shit, but you know how they take out the bull elephants and people are cool with it? | ||
| Like, oh, because they kill the smaller ones or they fuck things up. | ||
| They were saying the problem with that with elephants is those older ones know the path to water and where to go. | ||
| And when you kill the older ones... | ||
| The other ones don't know where the fuck to go. | ||
| They also teach the younger ones how to behave. | ||
| So they watch their, like, pass once you take out the bull, and they're fucked. | ||
| Because they're saying the older ones have so much knowledge to drop on these little bastards. | ||
| We have certain animals that we get super mad if someone kills. | ||
| An elephant is one of them, and a giraffe is another one. | ||
| Fuck yeah, because they're not, you know, they're not predators. | ||
| You know what I read about that giraffe that that lady killed and she got in trouble? | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| It was a giant, old, 18-year-old giraffe. | ||
| It was killing young males. | ||
| It killed three young males. | ||
| They were going to have to kill it anyway. | ||
| So that's how they get a person like that to do it. | ||
| The only other option is they could take it and put it in some sort of a zoo, but it was a non-viable male. | ||
| And when non-viable males are around young males, apparently they kill them. | ||
| They also don't mention that that revenue, you pay a lot of money to kill those. | ||
| Like $50,000. | ||
| Yeah, you pay a lot. | ||
| That revenue goes back into the community there. | ||
| And I guess there's no such thing as a black giraffe. | ||
| Everyone's like, that's a black giraffe. | ||
| Well, when they get older, they get darker. | ||
| But it's really rare that an animal in the wild gets to 18 years old. | ||
| He was fucking big. | ||
| Huge! | ||
| But again, when you kill off that big male, he had a lot of knowledge to drop on these other little dumb ass rats. | ||
| No, he wasn't dropping any knowledge. | ||
| He was killing them. | ||
| Rhino's doing the same thing. | ||
| See, they're different. | ||
| That's the reason why that Corey Knowlton, I think that was his name, he got in trouble for shooting that rhino. | ||
| He paid $250,000 to shoot. | ||
| It was more than that. | ||
| They were going to have to kill it because it had killed a male and it had killed a female. | ||
| Killed a male breeding her and it killed a young, no, killed a female breeding her and it killed a young male. | ||
| This thing was so old he paid I think $391,000. | ||
| Something crazy like that. | ||
| Is he just Scrooge McDuck rich? | ||
| He wants to kill a fucking rhino. | ||
| He's ballin'. | ||
| And he wanted to kill the rhino that bad? | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
| He's a hunter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We had him on the podcast. | ||
| Really smart guy. | ||
| Not what you think when you think of a guy who does something like that. | ||
| But is nature not going to take care of itself with these rhinos and the giraffes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They're so endangered. | ||
| Because the predators are... | ||
| The rhinos are so endangered that it's very dangerous to just let nature play its course out. | ||
| Because animals have gone extinct. | ||
| If you really go over the list of animals that have been extinct just while we've been alive, you don't think about it, but there's been a lot. | ||
| And then if you look over the course of human history, fuck, man, a lot of animals have gone extinct while we've been alive. | ||
| They're not living in a natural habitat anyway. | ||
| Their habitat has been so fucked with to begin with. | ||
| And there's so few rhinos. | ||
| Back in the day, yes, nature would have found its way, but when you have... | ||
| The thing is, this guy's 300 grand or whatever it is, that's going to go directly into keeping those other ones alive. | ||
| They're going to have money for the scientists, they're going to have money for anti-poaching efforts. | ||
| It's just, it seems counterintuitive. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Your natural instinct when they post on the gram, like, oh, just fucking kill this black giraffe, it's like, god damn, bitch. | ||
| Right, and why would you want to shoot a giraffe? | ||
| Why would you want to shoot a rhino? | ||
| I get it, man. | ||
| But it's more complicated than you think it is. | ||
| You know what I'm suspect of? | ||
| You know those poachers that were killed by those lions? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think that happened. | ||
| I think they got shot. | ||
| You're a conspiracy guy today, bro. | ||
| I think they got shot by poachers, and the poachers were like, it's a lot easier just to say that they got eaten by lions. | ||
| Well, I will tell you as a fact, I know people that have gone over there to hunt, and they just shoot at poachers. | ||
| Just shoot at them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And obviously we're talking about Africa. | ||
| It's an enormous, enormous place. | ||
| Wild West. | ||
| So you know for a fact there are certain hunters that go there and kill poachers. | ||
| It's entirely possible that that happens. | ||
| So hunting kills. | ||
| But I'm saying that the people that are the professionals that work on those giant ranches, like there's a lot of these private hunting ranches that are hundreds of thousands of acres even and they're all fenced in and people get inside and they poach. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It means they're trying to eat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, it means they're starving a lot of times, and they're trying to do whatever the fuck they can to make money. | ||
| Whether they can make money by chopping off a rhino horn, or they make money by selling meat from some antelope that they shot they weren't supposed to shoot. | ||
| But my point is that people have told me that they know of... | ||
| These people over there shooting at poachers. | ||
| Just shooting at them. | ||
| Like you would shoot at a rat or a coyote or something that was trying to eat your chickens or something like that. | ||
| Then of course you shoot them and the lion's going to come along. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| That's what it feels like. | ||
| My friend who was over there said he couldn't believe it. | ||
| They just will shoot at poachers. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And poachers will shoot at you too. | ||
| I was going to say, poachers know this, right? | ||
| They're also part of, some of them are organized gangs. | ||
| Oh man. | ||
| You know, it's one of those things where you're like, what would you do if you were in that village? | ||
| You'd be in that fucking organized gang too. | ||
| You'd probably stay out of Africa. | ||
| Well, if you're born there, I'm saying. | ||
| I'm saying us. | ||
| Probably pass. | ||
| Our pass. | ||
| Well, how about malaria, which has killed half of the people that have ever died ever? | ||
| You have to get all those shots before you go. | ||
| My wife's doing that right now. | ||
| She's going to Kenya. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| First class. | ||
| First class safari. | ||
| I can't make it. | ||
| I've got to go to China. | ||
| Beijing. | ||
| There's no malaria there. | ||
| I don't know which one's worse. | ||
| Yo, here's the thing about China. | ||
| We had to stop in in China. | ||
| They have a different sense of personal space. | ||
| Like, as far as, like, getting in between you in a line. | ||
| Oh, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| You're walking through a thing, and there's, like, a merging thing. | ||
| There's no merging, son. | ||
| They're going to go right into your kids, right into you, your wife, like whoever. | ||
| That's why they drive like that. | ||
| Dude, it is crazy. | ||
| It's crazy, but they're not rude. | ||
| It's just a different way. | ||
| Because there's so many people. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They have to figure it out. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's a billion amount of people. | ||
| They're not impolite people, but they get misconstrued as being impolite because we're not used to navigating that kind of numbers like they are. | ||
| It's crazy to see, though, man. | ||
| Watch them. | ||
| Even if you're just watching them do it with other people, just walk right in front of people and smush into each other. | ||
| If you do that here, though, you'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| People get mad at you. | ||
| Well, because when I went to Australia, a lot of Chinese and Japanese and Koreans were on holiday in Australia. | ||
| And I was with Chin, who's Korean, my producer. | ||
| And they kept, they were super, we'd be in line, they'd bump into me or something. | ||
| I'm like, dude, what the fuck? | ||
| And he's like, no, no, no, no. | ||
| They're not being disrespectful. | ||
| That's literally just how, that's how they, that's how they grew up. | ||
| They just got used to stupid numbers of people where you get used to people bumping into each other. | ||
| They don't move out of your way. | ||
| There's none of that shit. | ||
| Yeah, India is kind of similar where people stack behind you really closely. | ||
| This is the trend, right? | ||
| The argument is that you get too many people and then the people lose their value because they become a hindrance. | ||
| I was thinking that yesterday. | ||
| I was at the 4.05 at 6 o'clock yesterday. | ||
| You've been there before, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shoot me. | |
| It is a crazy thing to experience. | ||
| I'm going to get into it after this, but yeah. | ||
| It also makes you think, like, if there was an end-of-the-world type scenario and you were trying to get back to your family, in L.A., you got zero chance. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| You're going to walk way quicker than 20 miles to your house. | ||
| I see what you're talking about. | ||
| You want to get a helicopter, bro. | ||
| Bill Burr, he has one. | ||
| He flies one around. | ||
| Well, he doesn't have his own, but he took lessons. | ||
| Bill knows how to fly. | ||
| Bill's a helicopter pilot. | ||
| He flies all the time, right? | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| He flew down to San Diego for a gig and flew back. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That probably took him 20 minutes. | ||
| I flew from San Diego to LA. Don't ask me how and why, but my plane had to stop over in San Diego. | ||
| 26 minutes. | ||
| That's a hilarious flight. | ||
| That's a hilarious flight. | ||
| It took me six hours. | ||
| The drive is rough, son. | ||
| If you hit that traffic, it's in six hours. | ||
| You've got to plan that motherfucker correct. | ||
| Dude, I was at the comedy store at La Jolla at a Thursday night show, 8 o'clock. | ||
| I was like, oh, dude, if I leave by 2, we got this all day. | ||
| I got there right at 8. Really? | ||
| Right at 8. It took you six hours? | ||
| There's accidents all up and down the floor. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Right when you get into San Diego, accident. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I was so stressed. | ||
| You know what's crazy, bro? | ||
| Orange County. | ||
| Orange County has so many people in it. | ||
| It's like a little China. | ||
| It's gorgeous, though. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| But it's so crazy. | ||
| You go there and just the density of people in Orange County. | ||
| I'm like, wait a minute. | ||
| How many people are here? | ||
| This is a crazy spot. | ||
| But then there's some dope spots like Laguna Niguel. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| How about Chicago? | ||
| To go 11 miles took us an hour and a half. | ||
| Chicago, worst traffic I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It can't be worse than going through Orange County at 5 o'clock. | ||
| It's fucking bad. | ||
| I asked the Uber. | ||
| But it doesn't last as long. | ||
| It does. | ||
| I said, is it always like this? | ||
| And they said, it's like this because of the construction right now. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| In 2015, 3.17 million people just in Orange County. | ||
| And that does not include Mexicans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It just does not. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| They don't have a fucking clue. | ||
| And when I say Mexicans, I should say, people, we'll let you in. | ||
| You're here. | ||
| Alright? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what they should say. | ||
| Hey, you're here. | ||
| You get in. | ||
| But the point is, all these numbers are inflated. | ||
| How many more illegal aliens are here on top of that number? | ||
| I could live in Orange County. | ||
| If I'd have to work in LA, I'd live in Orange County. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think? | |
| I would live there. | ||
| All day. | ||
| I would live there all day. | ||
| I love Newport. | ||
| What do you think the numbers are? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How many illegal aliens do you think are in Orange County? | ||
| I wouldn't know. | ||
| 3.17 million people. | ||
| How many people do you think are illegal aliens? | ||
| 67 million. | ||
| I feel like it's one of those numbers. | ||
| If they're undocumented, they're undocumented. | ||
| How are you guessing? | ||
| It fluctuates, probably. | ||
| I don't want to compare them to the rat study. | ||
| It's a disrespectful thing. | ||
| I just mean in terms of a study. | ||
| If you're not actually monitoring, how the fuck do you know? | ||
| Do we know how many they think or they estimate sneak across every year? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| I think they do. | ||
| Do we have any idea, Jamie? | ||
| Because then we could... | ||
| I have no fucking clue. | ||
| It is dark. | ||
| You imagine if you were living in some shit country and you realized that you could actually get a great job if you could just get across a river? | ||
| It's such a bummer, man. | ||
| It's so heartbreaking. | ||
| What a shit. | ||
| But meanwhile, there's some sweet spots down there. | ||
| Like, why don't we gentrify Mexico? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| Well, Mexico City's getting there. | ||
| Yeah, Mexico City's economy's doing pretty well from what I hear. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| You got Nicaragua, El Salvador, gangs. | ||
| This is in 2014, so triple it. | ||
| It's 2,350,000 just in Southern California. | ||
| Look at Delaware. | ||
| Oh, just in California. | ||
| But that's the entire state of California. | ||
| That's off by a factor of 10. Probably 2.3 million in Orange County. | ||
| Yeah, there's no way they know. | ||
| They don't know, man. | ||
| Well, they make up a lot of the economy, though. | ||
| They make up a lot of... | ||
| We're saying 11 million total? | ||
| Agricultural economy and everything else, man. | ||
| We need those. | ||
| Right now, they're entrenched. | ||
| It's heartbreaking when they have to pass the rivers and the body of water, and it's like kids and women, they die, and they take them with the tides. | ||
| It's heartbreaking. | ||
| And they've got to put together, you know, the average is $3,000. | ||
| $3,000 to them, they come from nothing, so they save all this money, it's per person. | ||
| So you've got kids, you've got the family, so you get together, they get robbed, they go, they get robbed of all their shit, some of it's fake, they don't know who to deal with. | ||
| Well, I'm sure you've seen videos of Syrian refugees washing up on shore. | ||
| Yeah, I can't handle it. | ||
| It's horrible, man. | ||
| It's such a tragedy. | ||
| It's so easy to look at them and they speak a different language, they follow a different religion. | ||
| It's so easy to not... | ||
| Syrians are so cosmopolitan. | ||
| Syrians are so cosmopolitan too. | ||
| Syrians were not religious. | ||
| Syrians were entrepreneurs. | ||
| Damascus was a huge city. | ||
| It was a beautiful place. | ||
| Very, very cosmopolitan. | ||
| Basically European in a lot of ways. | ||
| But not to let them in because we're scared that the terrorist stuff like that, that's like not letting talent in because the mafia. | ||
| It's such a small fucking percentage. | ||
| It's not necessarily, but You know what I'm saying, though. | ||
| To assume that all Mexicans are in the cartel or all Italians are in the mafia, it's fucking insane. | ||
| It's a similar thing. | ||
| But especially, like, the difference between Syrians and Mexicans is Mexicans, a lot of people would accept them easier because they practice the same religion. | ||
| Like, if you found a guy who was a Mexican businessman in Mexico City and he speaks English and Spanish and his children are well-educated and he wanted to move next door to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's Catholic. | |
| We're more familiar with it. | ||
| In Santa Monica, you'd be pumped. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| He came over from Mexico. | ||
| Super nice guy. | ||
| He makes his own wine. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But if a guy does a different... | ||
| It's also Mexican food. | ||
| It's part of the American fabric. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So we're not as threatened. | ||
| They're our neighbors. | ||
| There's a history. | ||
| What are you threatening? | ||
| Well, people are threatened by Muslims. | ||
| They're threatened by radical Islamic terrorists. | ||
| They're threatened by the idea of people trying to be like some Manchurian candidate and get into office. | ||
| A lot of these school shooters, the mass shooters, a lot of them are white, too, man. | ||
| We're scared of that. | ||
| Most of them are white. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| Well, do you remember when people were absolutely convinced that Obama was somehow some sort of a Mexican plant, or excuse me, an Islamic plant? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that he was a Manchurian candidate. | ||
| Didn't Trump start that? | ||
| Trump said he was from Kenya. | ||
| Trump was a birther. | ||
| People forgot about that. | ||
| He had to show his birth. | ||
| He might have actually believed that. | ||
| But it also might have been that Trump liked fucking with Obama because Obama liked fucking with Trump. | ||
| And that's one of the things like at that press corps dinner where he got up and said, here's one thing that I am that you'll never be as president of the United States. | ||
| And he got this giant laugh. | ||
| And Seth Meyers roasted him too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then he was like, what? | ||
| He's like, oh, really? | ||
| Oh, that's cute. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| Guess what, bitch? | ||
| Now I'm the fucking president. | ||
| So when he said something about Obama, it more than likely was because of a personal feud. | ||
| And less likely that he actually thought Obama was from Kenya. | ||
| He was probably fucking with him back. | ||
| I agree 100%. | ||
| Yeah, because he's a powerful guy, and if they treat him like he's not a powerful guy, it's like, oh, really? | ||
| He has resources, too. | ||
| So he's like, what? | ||
| This is my problem with anti-Trump, like, when people go too far with it. | ||
| It's not that he's not doing terrible things. | ||
| It's not that he's not—like, just the idea that he lies all the time. | ||
| You have to check him on his lies. | ||
| You have to figure out what's the truth. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's God, man. | |
| Separating the immigrants. | ||
| My issue has nothing to do with that. | ||
| My issue has to do with it's a terrible way to interact with someone whose ideas you don't like. | ||
| Because it just makes the people that support him more aggressive. | ||
| Everybody gets more aggressive. | ||
| You get more aggressive at them and you're like, this is what we're gonna do. | ||
| We're gonna shout them down. | ||
| We're gonna stop them all from speaking. | ||
| We're gonna show up at their restaurants and yell at them. | ||
| You're just creating more conflict. | ||
| This is not helping because they're going to bolster their resources, build up their defenses. | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| You're scaring people and you're going to make people arm themselves and you're going to make people escalate their rhetoric and it's going to escalate on both sides and it's also evidence that you're unhinged. | ||
| So they can point to the fact that they're right, because you're harassing them in the parking lot of a restaurant, and you won't let them get to their car without you yelling at them. | ||
| They're now saying you're unhinged, and there's evidence to prove that they've got a point. | ||
| You're like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| This is a never-Trump movement. | ||
| We're a part of the movement, and we got together. | ||
| You're harassing a person, and you're making them angry, and they're going to harass liberals now, and now we have this giant conflict, instead of just communicating about important issues, instead of just trying to figure out how we all get along. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How to solve problems? | |
| Digging your heels into one team or the other, you've got to try to solve problems. | ||
| It's way easier. | ||
| Persuasion is the hardest thing. | ||
| Punishment, destruction is way easier. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| If they get him out of office, here's the thing. | ||
| If they do succeed in getting him out of office, they'll be even more emboldened. | ||
| My point is, they'll be even more emboldened that this is the correct way to behave. | ||
| I don't think it necessarily is. | ||
| I think all of the things that are coming out, whether it's I don't understand the Russian stuff. | ||
| I've tried to go over it. | ||
| I feel like if there was clear enough evidence that he had committed a crime, they would have already done something. | ||
| He'd be out. | ||
| There's too much resource and time going into that. | ||
| But there's many indictments. | ||
| So there's other people around him that have done something that was illegal. | ||
| This seems to be very clear, right? | ||
| Or at least have been accused. | ||
| So where it goes, let that play out. | ||
| But that is a very different thing than all of the hatred and the fucking going after people. | ||
| You have to figure out where the line gets drawn, where you're causing internal conflict that can literally lead to civil war. | ||
| But it's trickled down into our economy, everyone's lives now, like on Twitter or entertainment or with the Me Too movement. | ||
| It's a trickle-down effect. | ||
| Well, you know, George Washington said one of the most important qualities for a society to have is civility. | ||
| And what does civility mean? | ||
| The Founding Fathers did not agree on a lot of stuff. | ||
| I mean Madison didn't agree with Hamilton and Jefferson. | ||
| They were very much at odds about how to go forward with this republic. | ||
| But they talked it out. | ||
| They compromised. | ||
| Nobody got violent besides Aaron Burr and fucking Hamilton. | ||
| For the most part, they compromised. | ||
| They talked. | ||
| And George Washington said, civility, the ability to listen to the other side, even when you don't agree with them, and put your ideas together, that's how you move things forward. | ||
| We just don't have that anymore. | ||
| We just don't have it. | ||
| I think that's a really good point, and that's what bothers me the most about this, is not that they're not correct, that there's some real problems. | ||
| It's the way everybody's going about it that makes me say, like, do you understand what happens when you yell at people? | ||
| Like, you can't just push people. | ||
| There's people that don't understand violent consequences. | ||
| There's people that don't understand conflict, and they don't know how to mitigate it, and they don't know how to, like, be calm and how to figure their way through a situation. | ||
| There's dangerous levels of aggression that get reached. | ||
| When you have, like... | ||
| Antifa feuding with these people that are trying to do some sort of a speech somewhere and there's the supporters of the speech and then there's Antifa and everybody's getting together and screaming and there's fire and bike locks and people beating the shit out of each other. | ||
| There's plenty of videos of this happening. | ||
| This doesn't have to end here, okay? | ||
| This wasn't here five years ago. | ||
| Understand this. | ||
| That this could escalate in five years to be significantly worse than it is now. | ||
| And me as a person who... | ||
| I don't want violence around me. | ||
| I see that shit coming and I go, oh, these guys are fighting. | ||
| Let's get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You don't want to go get close to them and hope you catch a stray bullet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The problem is that conflict comes to you. | |
| It's unnecessary. | ||
| It's not how we should communicate with each other. | ||
| You know, and I think there's also people that are emboldened by movements, right? | ||
| They become a part of a movement, and then they want to do something to commit to that movement. | ||
| It's very similar to joining a fucking militia. | ||
| It's very similar to joining a resistance movement. | ||
| Social media makes it easier, too. | ||
| Social media has made it easier to find your tribe, surround yourself with people who see the world exactly like you do, and organize and attack the other side. | ||
| You know, they say with social media, that's what makes ISIS kind of so violent and also so scary, is because social media, the first ones kind of mastered social media. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My bigger worry is also the fact that people can't even agree on the validity of their sources. | ||
| So if I say, well, you know, according to the United Nations or the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, and you go, that's bullshit. | ||
| So now I can't even get off the ground. | ||
| Because there's too much info. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So if I go through mainstream sources, you go, that's mainstream and that's bullshit and they're bought off by corporations. | ||
| They have an agenda. | ||
| I can't even have an argument now. | ||
| Well, here's something that I'm trying to get better at, and I've worked on it a lot. | ||
| I try really hard to not be connected to whatever I believe in. | ||
| And I try to not try to win a conversation. | ||
| Those are two very important things. | ||
| You mean open-minded, Joe? | ||
| Yes, but I'm trying harder than I've ever tried in my life and I've been on a path trying to do this for years now and getting better at it because of just listening to podcasts and having podcasts and having conflicts with people and trying to figure out why I had those conflicts and how much of it was my fault, how much of it could have prevented, how much of I could have done a better job as a host or as a person who's trying to relay the information and through time I have tried my hardest, and it's something I concentrate on all the time, to not be connected to my ideas. | ||
| To argue them if I feel like there's merit, but argue the merit, not argue my connection. | ||
| Your emotional connection. | ||
| So when someone does that, I get exhausted now. | ||
| Because I know where it's going. | ||
| I'm like, we're going to waste a lot of time with this because you're not willing to even think about the possibility. | ||
| Well, I said the last podcast with Jordan Peterson, I said, do you feel like you're winning this debate? | ||
| Because at this point he'd become so famous and he said, I don't want to win this because I'm going to create resentful people who feel like resentful losers. | ||
| That's not the point. | ||
| The point is to figure out a way to present ideas so that they are accessible to the people whose minds I'm trying to change. | ||
| This is exactly what he said about Trump supporters. | ||
| He said, if you disagree with Trump supporters, don't insult them. | ||
| Don't make them feel like they're losers. | ||
| That doesn't make anybody feel good. | ||
| It's also not true! | ||
| He also said, how do you think they're going to react to that? | ||
| Do you think they're just going to give in to you? | ||
| And he's a clinical psychologist, so he understands how human brains work. | ||
| We do that immediately. | ||
| What do we say about Trump supporters? | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| They go, they're racists, they're sexist, they're Mexican haters and all this stuff. | ||
| Whereas maybe the left presented an alternative that was unacceptable to them. | ||
| They didn't like this con man or this guy was an egotist, but they were like, let's give it a shot. | ||
| I have 300 bucks in the bank. | ||
| I got no other options. | ||
| There's also that. | ||
| Give people the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| Most people are not assholes. | ||
| Yeah, unquestionably. | ||
| There's both of those things. | ||
| And there's some people that are assholes. | ||
| That's part of the problem, is that you run into enough of those, those hurt your feelings, and you think, oh, all Trump supporters are assholes. | ||
| They're the minority, though, right? | ||
| But that's negativity bias online. | ||
| I feel like it's all humans. | ||
| Negativity bias, too, is also something where our brains... | ||
| We gravitate towards that. | ||
| If I get caught on the left hook, yeah, I'm not going to... | ||
| Let's say on Instagram, if you have 1,000 comments and 900 of them are positive, you'll see the one negative. | ||
| No, if you have 900 and you have 100 that are negative, you're fucked. | ||
| Super fucked. | ||
| You're going to read 100 negative comments. | ||
| You know what I'm saying. | ||
| You'll have a million positive. | ||
| That's why I don't read any comments. | ||
| But think about how amazing that is, that you have 90% positive. | ||
| In this crazy world... | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| Everything's all good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But your mind goes towards the negative. | ||
| Yeah, but what I'm saying is that the numbers, as they expand, they get more and more ridiculous. | ||
| So if you have a podcast, and the podcast gets a million downloads, and you get 100,000 negative comments and 900,000 positive ones, like, oh, this is exhausting. | ||
| Have you looked at how many people alcohol kills versus guns, for example? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But nobody's talking about banning alcohol. | ||
| You could really go into all these details, right? | ||
| Shortened lives because of obesity. | ||
| Shortened lives because of poor diet. | ||
| Kills way more people than terrorism. | ||
| It kills a lot of fucking people. | ||
| And then there's also shit that happens. | ||
| We were talking about this recently about Chicago, the violence in Chicago. | ||
| The numbers are so crazy and no one seems to be flinching. | ||
| If those numbers were in... | ||
| Beverly Hills. | ||
| If Beverly Hills, not the South Side of Chicago, if Beverly Hills had a thousand people kill their shot in a year, we'd be like, what in the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| I think it's because we accept it. | ||
| We're like, ah, that's Chicago. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| Well, it's over there. | ||
| And then it becomes accustomed to us. | ||
| Even in Chicago. | ||
| If a girl accuses Charlie Sheen of spitting on her and doing coke off her asshole, you're like, yeah. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| So if you hear, oh, there's violence in Chicago, like, yep, that's what they do. | ||
| I keep hearing about that. | ||
| West side? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| South side? | ||
| We just, like, we like the map to be discernible. | ||
| Oh, okay, I know what this is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I know what that is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We've got to keep it static. | ||
| Especially, like, though, if it's something horrific. | ||
| Like, if there's a serial killer. | ||
| We freak the fuck out. | ||
| Holy fuck, everybody's like, I'm locking my doors! | ||
| That's scary shit. | ||
| I'm that way. | ||
| You know the chances of a serial killer getting to you? | ||
| But there are also things that scare the fuck. | ||
| I will not go into the ocean and swim where I can't touch the ground. | ||
| Just don't do that. | ||
| And it's stupid. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Smart move. | ||
| Fuck that place. | ||
| Especially the Pacific with great whites. | ||
| Malibu? | ||
| A fat dick. | ||
| Overrun. | ||
| Overrun with great whites. | ||
| Correct, sir. | ||
| San Francisco is a fucking breeding ground. | ||
| Right outside of San Francisco. | ||
| This guy in Marina Del Rey. | ||
| He's swimming... | ||
| And he's got his hands, like, tucked to the side. | ||
| Oh, like a seal. | ||
| And he's going like this. | ||
| He's diving in. | ||
| I'm like, bro, you are sealing out. | ||
| You look like a giant, smooth, delicious seal right now. | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| I mean, if there's one badass way to go, that's pretty sick. | ||
| I'm making CNN for sure. | ||
| There's a guy in Brazil who got his dick bitten off. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yep, right through the crotch. | ||
| The crotch, the dick, the balls, asshole. | ||
| Died, bled out on the beach. | ||
| He bled out after the shark bit his dick off. | ||
| I'll take that. | ||
| Eat me in half. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got to pee. | |
| I did a podcast right before. | ||
| You got to pee? | ||
| Jeff Garland. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| This bitch just skimmed the fighter and the kid. | ||
| When it comes back, we're going to talk about actual fights. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| Hold, please. | ||
| Holding, please. | ||
| You got to pee, too, but I'm going to leave you by yourself. | ||
| I'll go after you guys. | ||
| I'll just talk about the Constitution. | ||
| Guys, if I could have a minute of your time. | ||
| You know, the history of the Ottoman Empire is very interesting, actually. | ||
| We have to go all the way back, though. | ||
| Can you imagine if you just started fucking reading out of a book? | ||
| Why don't you plug your dates? | ||
| Plug my dates? | ||
| Is there anything worse when someone does that? | ||
| Now that Joe's gone, hey, first week of August. | ||
| You will be there, right? | ||
| Now that you're taking a break from the road, you should come. | ||
| I mean, surprise some people, maybe. | ||
| Pick a city. | ||
| I'd do that. | ||
| Come out and just open for you. | ||
| What about Vancouver? | ||
| One night. | ||
| When is that? | ||
| September 13th. | ||
| If I'm not shooting my two TV shows. | ||
| But I thought you were shooting in October. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm so talented, I forget. | ||
| I'm shooting some of the Goldbergs, I think, August, September. | ||
| Is this the last season of Goldbergs? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| And then I think we start shooting. | ||
| I shoot one episode of School, then August, then the rest in October. | ||
| Why just one? | ||
| Like a pilot? | ||
| I don't know, yeah. | ||
| The way they do the schedule is weird. | ||
| They want to figure it out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, writing and stuff. | ||
| And then when do you think you go back on the road for stand-up? | ||
| I'll get restless. | ||
| I know it'll happen. | ||
| Right now, I haven't thought about it. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I'll go on whatever. | ||
| I'll be gone for every weekend of the month. | ||
| I'm like, I need a break. | ||
| And I get one weekend off. | ||
| I'm like, let me get back on the road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know. | ||
| You miss it. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| You miss it. | ||
| There's nothing like it. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes it's beautiful. | ||
| Sometimes it can be. | ||
| You can be in a city and it's terrible. | ||
| But I just stand up. | ||
| Sometimes it can be a little rough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was talking to Callan. | ||
| Well, you're going to be doing the same thing because Callan shot his special, right? | ||
| So now he's going to take a break from the road to shooting a show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was saying there's sometimes like a month going this month coming up. | ||
| I'm on the road every weekend. | ||
| That's rough. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| And then I'm like, God, I need a break. | ||
| And then I get a break. | ||
| I have like a week or two off. | ||
| I'm like, I need to get back on the road. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You miss it. | ||
| This is my first break in 12 years. | ||
| Yeah, but two weeks. | ||
| But when you were, let's say, at my level in comedy, you were grinding. | ||
| Constantly. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You gotta do what you gotta do in the moment, you know? | ||
| You're on that stage where you're just trying to get those reps in, too. | ||
| But I'm just saying, like, you missed the... | ||
| I'm like, God, I need a fucking break. | ||
| This road, man. | ||
| Hotels and restaurants. | ||
| I need a fucking break. | ||
| And I get back, and I'm like, I need to get back out. | ||
| It's like this weird love-hate relationship. | ||
| I did it for 12 years. | ||
| This is the first time I've had a break, and I haven't thought about it at all. | ||
| But it'll hit me, and I'll start to freak. | ||
| Yeah, you get tired. | ||
| You get tired of waking up in hotel rooms. | ||
| Tired of flying. | ||
| It's lonely. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| It's hard on your body, actually. | ||
| I hate being out of my routine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I hate most. | ||
| Right, your home routine. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't like that either. | ||
| But there's no alternative. | ||
| If you want to do big shows, you want to go on the road, you want to... | ||
| Oh, I'll never stop. | ||
| Yeah, no, I'll never stop. | ||
| You also, I don't think there's an alternative in terms of creating material. | ||
| I think you need a bunch of different kinds. | ||
| You need Philly. | ||
| You need Boston. | ||
| You need Florida. | ||
| You need Miami, too. | ||
| Occasionally, you need to be like, oh, there's some people that just don't pay attention to anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And the time alone sometimes. | ||
| You've got to fill that day, but I fucking love it because I'm just thinking and stuff. | ||
| Dude, you ever pull a fucking calf muscle? | ||
| It's the most annoying muscle to pull because it doesn't heal because you're always on it. | ||
| Takes a while. | ||
| When did you do that? | ||
| Kicking elephants? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| About two months ago, I heard it, and it's never gotten better. | ||
| From running? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I can still run. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You can still run? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I can still run. | ||
| But it's just, I feel it. | ||
| I think it's interesting that... | ||
| And I wonder what the science is behind it, that I have a recurring injury, right? | ||
| So I'll pull my lower back on my right side, or I'll pull my neck. | ||
| There's a neck muscle from wrestling probably from years ago. | ||
| Sometimes I'll do something, whether it's play tennis or box or whatever, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I'm done for a week. | ||
| But it's always the same side. | ||
| Yeah, I'm done for a week. | ||
| Is that scar tissue? | ||
| I bet it's a mobility thing. | ||
| I bet that's one of the things. | ||
| And I bet you probably at some point in time had a bulging disc, and it's probably still a little fucked up, and you never got an MRI on it, so you don't really know, right? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| And I think that's one of the areas that a lot of people don't strengthen, is their spine. | ||
| I've spent... | ||
| A lot of time over the last few years using a bunch of different exercises and machines just specifically to strengthen my spine and my core after having some bulging back issues. | ||
| Well, I've been doing that. | ||
| I cured my lower back because of Lauren Landau and my buddy Leo who helped me kind of because my lower back hurt for 20 years. | ||
| And they give me just some exercise that I do every day. | ||
| And they're mostly strengthening exercise. | ||
| They're not stretching. | ||
| They're strengthening exercise. | ||
| Your glutes and stuff, I got no problems with my lower back. | ||
| I mean, I cured my lower back, which is kind of a miracle to consider that I did it later on in my life. | ||
| But my neck is, you know, and I do neck exercises now. | ||
| You gotta try this iron neck thing that I have out here. | ||
| I will. | ||
| It's the fucking best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, you put a halo on your head, you screw it on, you like pull it on, and then you pump it, like a Reebok pump, and it like fits tight to your head, and then you got a bungee cord that's attached to it that's 50 pounds, and you back up with this thing, and then you do rotations, like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Really good? | ||
| Phenomenal. | ||
| But the most important thing is that it's not dangerous. | ||
| It's strengthening your neck in a way where you're giving it a full range of motion. | ||
| I want to buy one. | ||
| But look, necks don't get worked out that much. | ||
| Your lower back doesn't get worked out that much. | ||
| You've got to think like all the other things are getting all these loads. | ||
| So when you put a load on the lower back and it's not strong enough, that's when things go out. | ||
| If you strengthen it, you can prevent a lot of that stuff from happening. | ||
| Yoga is great for that. | ||
| Yoga is great for the back. | ||
| Great for the spine. | ||
| It's like one of those things you realize when you're doing it. | ||
| Like, oh, these are muscles that I hardly ever work. | ||
| Like when you do triangle pose. | ||
| Hardly ever work that. | ||
| That's all of my jeans. | ||
| Like the splash, bro. | ||
| Don't worry about it, bro. | ||
| It's just piss. | ||
| It's a cute outfit on here. | ||
| It's just pee-pee, baby. | ||
| It's kind of a very colorful outfit. | ||
| Yeah, you're very hippie today. | ||
| Tie-dye, bro. | ||
| It's very left wing. | ||
| It's back. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I'm sure you got some tie-dye shit. | ||
| No, I do have a tie-dye. | ||
| I got a Sean O'Malley shirt. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That tie-dye Reebok one. | ||
| I've won that one. | ||
| That was dope. | ||
| Sugar Sean in the house, baby! | ||
| Dude, how about frickin' Nick Newell lost to get into the contenders? | ||
| I read that. | ||
| I did not have a chance to watch the fight. | ||
| I didn't see it either. | ||
| I don't watch the contenders series, but I saw that he lost, which is a bummer. | ||
| I'm rooting for that guy. | ||
| I hope they give him a fucking chance. | ||
| It's interesting that was the big story, was that he lost, not that the other guy won. | ||
| Like, I kept reading that he lost. | ||
| I didn't read that the other guy won. | ||
| I don't even know who the other guy is. | ||
| Me neither, but I heard he's a badass. | ||
| But how crazy is that? | ||
| Is it crazy? | ||
| But it's like you beat the guy with one arm. | ||
| But let's give the guy's name. | ||
| My thought was, how much bigger can you be with the rest of your body? | ||
| How many pounds is the arm? | ||
| It's just his forearm, though. | ||
| What did you say, Jamie? | ||
| Alex Munoz. | ||
| Alex Munoz. | ||
| Shout out to Alex Munoz. | ||
| He's a little razor blade, man. | ||
| I heard it was a tough fight. | ||
| But Nick Newell's a badass. | ||
| I think he belongs in the UFC. I don't think the contender stage is right for him. | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| A lot of the guys that are in the contender series, contender series is fucking excellent. | ||
| And a lot of guys that are in that series are going to wind up in the UFC anyway. | ||
| If you lose to one of them, it doesn't mean that you're not good. | ||
| It means there's a lot... | ||
| The talent level is very high right now. | ||
| I would say contender series is better than tough. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| Entertainment-wise, not even close. | ||
| Contender series kills it. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| Talent-wise now... | ||
| Tough got tired. | ||
| Oh, Tough Got Tired 10 years ago. | ||
| The style of coaching and all the reality parts. | ||
| I can't believe they're doing it again, but I think they have to contractually with Kelvin and Whitaker, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, still the fights are worth watching. | ||
| It's still worth getting to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would disagree with that. | |
| Some people like that reality TV. Some people still watch Big Brother, bro. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| I see people tweeting about Big Brother. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ratings, I mean, very few people are watching Tough these days. | ||
| The ratings are so bad. | ||
| What are the ratings? | ||
| There's seven people that watch it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seven? | |
| Seven, bro. | ||
| And they also buy fake kids. | ||
| How many of them are in hospitals? | ||
| They have to watch it. | ||
| No, I just think, you know, with the Contenders series, it's obviously making this push. | ||
| Like, that's where you're getting your new young talent. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's what I want to see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| I don't want to see all the reality TV show stuff. | ||
| I don't need them, you know. | ||
| But the thing is, people that like reality shows like it. | ||
| Because it allows you to have the reality show part. | ||
| The ratings would beg to differ. | ||
| Because the contender series is kicking ass. | ||
| Tough is not. | ||
| I'm just saying, bro. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good point. | ||
| I think that there's some people that don't even know what's on the air anymore. | ||
| When the fuck do you hear about an ad for that show? | ||
| Even the UFC is like, we're good. | ||
| We're not putting any marketing in that. | ||
| We owe this last season. | ||
| Just put two fucking guys who will agree to do it. | ||
| But how much promotion do you see for Dana White's Contender Series? | ||
| That bet's all over. | ||
| Ratings are way better. | ||
| That's way better. | ||
| They're out. | ||
| It's what people want to see is fights. | ||
| They're going through a divorce with Fox, and they're like, alright, we're just going to live here until December, then we'll take our stuff, get the fuck out. | ||
| That's weird, right? | ||
| You can keep the dogs, and then we'll figure it out. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| And even Fox is posting stuff to the WWE because they're coming over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so funny. | |
| So they're flexing with their new side piece? | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| How many carryover audience members are there from UFC to WWE? Who cross? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Fox doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| What they know for sure is you can control the narrative. | ||
| WWE on those Friday night or Wednesday night smackdowns, whatever the fuck they call it, bring in 3 million viewers every single night. | ||
| And it's going to be chaos. | ||
| And they can control the ratings. | ||
| They can control the superstars and control everyone's destiny. | ||
| They know that fan base brings that no matter what. | ||
| UFC is not that. | ||
| So if you're Fox, it's kind of smart. | ||
| Yeah, it is smart. | ||
| It works for both parties, Fox and ESPN. Look at it, if you're just trying to make money, it's the way to go. | ||
| Yeah, if you're Fox, that's why you care about ratings. | ||
| It's the way to go. | ||
| They're just trying to make money. | ||
| I think the thing about the Contender Series, though, is that it's a Fight Pass thing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So it's all just good for the UFC. They own it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also, how many people are seeing that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| How many people watch it? | ||
| I think Fight Pass is 200,000 to 300,000 subscribers. | ||
| And Tuesday Night Contender Series is only on Fight Pass. | ||
| Is that correct? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do they release it ever on YouTube? | ||
| That might not be a bad idea. | ||
| I think some highlights they blast out and stuff. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But, yeah, I don't know. | |
| That whole world of up-and-coming talent has gotten so different. | ||
| The level's gotten significantly higher. | ||
| I see guys coming into the UFC for the first time, and I'm watching him fight, and I'm like, wow, this guy's fighting like he's been here for five years. | ||
| I say yes and no. | ||
| Some of it, I look at it, holy, how many fights do you have? | ||
| And they're like, he has eight. | ||
| I'm like, and he's that good? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And then sometimes, like you look at this Germany card, which lasted seven hours, which is a whole other topic we should discuss. | ||
| But I look at some, and the difference between, like, say, a Robert Whitaker versus Joe Romero versus some different cards where it's an opening main card fight... | ||
| The talent pool sometimes is so different. | ||
| Well, that just could be cards. | ||
| Sometimes you get a card in the talent pool, and that card is just not the highest level. | ||
| And then you get other cards where you don't even know who the fighters are. | ||
| And the talent's really high. | ||
| It's insanely high. | ||
| My point is, when you watch other main professional sports, you don't get that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| No, but you also don't get the volume. | ||
| Think about the volume of boxing matches versus the volume of UFC cards. | ||
| It's not even close. | ||
| The number of fights that people are paying attention to. | ||
| Every card has 11 to 13 fights. | ||
| And I think that's our problem. | ||
| Well, the problem is it's popular. | ||
| It's popular with people that want to do it. | ||
| These young badasses that want to prove they're the best. | ||
| There's a lot of them. | ||
| You're saying it's popular as far as contestants, people signing up. | ||
| People signing up for it. | ||
| Because what's not popular is people tuning into all these fights. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's the issue. | ||
| You have to make it special, right? | ||
| But do you? | ||
| Because here's the thing. | ||
| Even if you just have a small number that are tuning in every week, say if you have fights every week and 300,000 people watch, like, oh, this is a commercial disaster, you still are building 300,000 people, and it's going to be a different 300,000 people quite possibly next week, at least some of them are. | ||
| No way. | ||
| You're going to have different narratives. | ||
| You're going to have different fighters who shine, and then they're going to go off into pay-per-view events. | ||
| They're going to go off into big ESPN events. | ||
| They're going to become household names, and that's where the money's going to be made. | ||
| And so, our argument is, the more fights you have, even if some fights aren't doing well, you are still allowing a really high level of competition. | ||
| These fucking assassins merge through the top. | ||
| These Darren Tills, and these Yoel Romeros, and all these fucking killers come through. | ||
| Fucking Eraser versus Yoel Romero. | ||
| Amazing fight. | ||
| Oh my... | ||
| Who's Boracino? | ||
| Oh, he's a killer. | ||
| First team, all body. | ||
| First team, all body. | ||
| Both guys. | ||
| Crazy muscularity. | ||
| I'm not mad at either of them. | ||
| Double body... | ||
| I mean, extreme. | ||
| Superheroes. | ||
| But Joe, to your point, back to your point where you're saturation in the market and you're hoping that these superstars come out of there. | ||
| That's not working. | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| There's a cycle. | ||
| And I think there's a cycle the same where there's a cycle of predators and prey. | ||
| Do you know if they have like snowshoe hares and lynx? | ||
| There's a cycle where the snowshoe hares get to a very high number and the lynx eat them all. | ||
| And then the lynx get to a very high number and they run out of snowshoe hares. | ||
| And then the lynx drop down again. | ||
| And the snowshoe hares come back up. | ||
| This is a natural cycle. | ||
| And you're saying the cycle is going to be like a Conor McGregor, Ronda Rousey, or Brock Lesnar. | ||
| There's always someone. | ||
| They're going to come. | ||
| There's always someone. | ||
| There's always someone who rises to the top. | ||
| Who's the biggest draw right now in the UFC? Conor McGregor. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| There's not even a close second. | ||
| Besides him, George St. Pierre, if he wants to fight. | ||
| George St. Pierre, especially just winning. | ||
| It'd be Conor, Brock, George. | ||
| Those are your three cash guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Brock would not beat Conor at this stage of his life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| I'm saying it as to this. | ||
| Those are one, two, three. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if the UFC was around... | ||
| I mean, if we were at the stage where Brock was, say, before he beat Frank Mir... | ||
| When he was the heavyweight champion, when Brock was just smashing, he could sell What was like the highest pay-per-view with Brock in it? | ||
| I think it was like two million. | ||
| It's like the third highest. | ||
| Conor and Nate's first. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's in that level. | ||
| And the UFC wasn't as popular then, I don't think, as it is now. | ||
| But they did the WWE. He had the WWE fan base crossover. | ||
| But what's interesting, too, and a lot of people don't... | ||
| There's a reason why. | ||
| But the demand for Nate Diaz, too, because remember, he's part of the biggest pay-per-view of all time with Conor McGregor. | ||
| So Nate Diaz is in that tier, too. | ||
| You can go Conor, Brock, Ronda. | ||
| Nate's 4 or 5 in that. | ||
| See, it's number 2. UFC 100, Brock Lesnar vs. | ||
| Frank Mir. | ||
| 1,600,000 buys. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| It's only 50,000 different than Nate Diaz vs. | ||
| Conor McGregor, which is number 1. That's pretty crazy. | ||
| Those numbers are crazy. | ||
| And then Conor McGregor, Nate Diaz. | ||
| Conor has one, two, three, four, five. | ||
| Misha Tayden. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| Well, that's UFC 200, so you had Brock Lesnar in that card. | ||
| So Brock has one, two, three out of the top seven. | ||
| Yeah, and Ron Derrick comes in at number eight. | ||
| They're in their own stratosphere, right? | ||
| So is Nate Diaz. | ||
| They don't toss him in there. | ||
| Nate's right there. | ||
| He has number one, number three. | ||
| Wow, look at that. | ||
| Amanda Nunez, Ronda Rousey got a million, million, one hundred thousand. | ||
| Nate Diaz, that's arguably because he was fighting Conor McGregor, right? | ||
| Well, and that's why Nate hasn't taken a fight because that trilogy is the biggest, one of the biggest that hasn't... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it is the biggest. | ||
| It's the biggest. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| If Conor comes back and decides to fight Khabib, that's a fight where it's gonna be a gigantic, enormous, biggest pay-per-view of all time. | ||
| I think that's the biggest. | ||
| And if they decide to do it in Russia, it would be fucking insane. | ||
| And I'll be watching from here with you guys. | ||
| We're doing a campaign for that. | ||
| You're not going to Russia. | ||
| I'm not going to Russia. | ||
| And that'll be our biggest companion ever, by the way. | ||
| Dana's pulling me aside. | ||
| Dude, we're going to do some big things in Russia. | ||
| I'd really like you to come. | ||
| I'm like, good luck at that. | ||
| Come the fuck out of here, man. | ||
| I ain't going to Russia. | ||
| Cut to me. | ||
| Fur around my face. | ||
| Full Eskimos. | ||
| You'd probably love it in Russia. | ||
| It's probably amazing, man. | ||
| Yeah, the problem is that trip can suck. | ||
| It's a long, hard pass. | ||
| I'd rather be here with you guys. | ||
| I'd rather be here with you guys anyway. | ||
| It's more fun. | ||
| I really like being there live. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love the job, but I'm gonna be honest. | ||
| It's more fun watching the fights with you guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For sure. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| It's not even close. | ||
| With your friends. | ||
| It ain't even close. | ||
| Drinking good wine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Having cheese and shit. | ||
| Kidney. | ||
| Pissing people off because you're chewing on the microphone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's the most fun. | ||
| Until we get into Illuminati stuff. | ||
| If I can keep Eddie off the Illuminati. | ||
| You can take a sharp left. | ||
| I even enjoy that. | ||
| I miss Eddie. | ||
| But Eddie, now he doesn't drink. | ||
| Eddie doesn't drink. | ||
| He doesn't drink. | ||
| No, he doesn't drink anymore. | ||
| And he's way more reasonable. | ||
| Well, like with that kind of stuff. | ||
| He's not in Evolution. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| I haven't really talked to him about that. | ||
| I'm just reading his Instagrams. | ||
| What other fight did they announce, the big fight? | ||
| Mike Perry Cerrone. | ||
| Ooh, Mike Perry Cerrone. | ||
| In Denver. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| That's a crazy fight. | ||
| Mike Perry looked freaking great. | ||
| Yeah, he's dangerous, man. | ||
| He hits fucking hard. | ||
| Plus, his last fight against Paul Felder, he mixed it up. | ||
| He started fighting smart. | ||
| That was a real camp. | ||
| He's in Jackson's now. | ||
| He looks damn good. | ||
| How interesting is that? | ||
| Jackson's Jackson's. | ||
| Jackson on Jackson crying with him in the cowboy. | ||
| He said he was essentially running his own camp, training himself before. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And when you're watching him fight now, you're seeing... | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Woodley Till. | ||
| That's the other one I forgot. | ||
| But you're seeing him now in his last fight against Paul Felder. | ||
| He looked more polished. | ||
| He looked more professional in his approach. | ||
| Oh, completely different. | ||
| Still got all the marauder. | ||
| He's still a fucking killer. | ||
| Still super aggressive knockout artist. | ||
| Controlled. | ||
| Why did Paul go up to 70? | ||
| It was just for that fight. | ||
| It was just they gave him an option. | ||
| He's short enough. | ||
| He's so tough. | ||
| He would have done way better in that fight if he didn't break his arm in the first round. | ||
| He's so fucking tough. | ||
| But I saw it and I was like, dude, I don't like that one. | ||
| They're all tough right now. | ||
| When it bounced off his head, when it bounced off Perry's head, I was like, dude, that might be a broken arm. | ||
| There's a lot of people, like Paige Van Sanchez had a second surgery on her arm because of that. | ||
| She had more surgeries than that, sir. | ||
| Give it up. | ||
| That one's a different thing, bro. | ||
| I'm just kidding, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give it up. | |
| I was like this. | ||
| I don't know if I should. | ||
| Do I do that? | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| Talk about them Ted A's. | ||
| Ted A's. | ||
| The bone, it's not easy to hit something, especially a forehead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This thing's kind of soft. | ||
| This shit snaps, man. | ||
| I'm really surprised we don't have more guys getting their forearms broken and blocking kicks. | ||
| Because there's some guys that just fucking hit you so hard to break your arm. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Felder is such a... | ||
| I think he's a high-level striker. | ||
| Oh, he's super high-level. | ||
| He's so fucking good, man. | ||
| But look, he is a smaller guy than Mike Perry. | ||
| Mike Perry's a way more scary one-strike artist. | ||
| Even though Felder's really scary at 55, you lose a little bit of that when you go up against the bigger guys. | ||
| Still stood his ground toe-to-toe with that guy. | ||
| Felder's highly skilled. | ||
| He's very smart and highly skilled. | ||
| We haven't seen that version of Perry, though. | ||
| And then we saw it's like, oh, fuck. | ||
| That version of Perry against one of his most technical opponents. | ||
| That Perry shows up against Cowboy? | ||
| Like, okay, here's the fight with the Alan Joban fight. | ||
| Alan Joban, who's fought a smart, technical fight, out-pointed Perry. | ||
| And the way he out-pointed Perry, he out-pointed Perry that was more obvious. | ||
| It was a different Perry. | ||
| Headhunting, just... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just more obvious. | ||
| Very one-dimensional. | ||
| He was trying to just put those hands on him. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| But now you see a guy who's trying to do that, but with some Winklejohn strategy. | ||
| He's coaching. | ||
| And he's young. | ||
| He's only like 26, right? | ||
| He's going to be a problem. | ||
| He's got a lot of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's dangerous. | |
| How about Woodley Till, bro? | ||
| I am... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck your intern belt, Colby. | |
| I'm stunned. | ||
| That's the UFC talking about me. | ||
| But Colby just had to get a nose operation. | ||
| For sinuses. | ||
| But this is the thing. | ||
| Colby goes, and I spoke to someone very close to Colby. | ||
| Colby goes, dude, I'm down for the fight. | ||
| I just went five rounds. | ||
| Willie's been out for how long? | ||
| I can do it in October, November. | ||
| Just let me get ready. | ||
| I just have sinus surgery. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| And they went, nope. | ||
| Stripping of the belt. | ||
| Till, you want it? | ||
| And Till's like, fuck yeah, I'll take it. | ||
| See, that seems to... | ||
| Be a problem for anybody that's considering taking an interim title fight in the future. | ||
| And that's what Brian Ortega saw that. | ||
| And he was like, listen, they're offering him before when his fight got canceled because Max Holloway has run into all those medical issues. | ||
| They offered him a fight for the interim belt. | ||
| I think it was against Jeremy Stevens' fight this weekend. | ||
| They offered Frank Yeager and Jeremy Stevens. | ||
| And so Frank Yeager was crazy. | ||
| That doesn't even make any sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's what Brian said. | ||
| And Jeremy Stevens is fucking dangerous. | ||
| Yes, he is. | ||
| Talk about a guy who puts you to sleep. | ||
| Fucking dangerous. | ||
| For anybody, he's dangerous. | ||
| Such a good fighter. | ||
| For anybody. | ||
| And he is guns blazing. | ||
| He's fighting Aldo this weekend, son. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| At 55, right? | ||
| 45. So they offered him Ortega a fight with Jeremy, because Jeremy's already cutting weight for this fight, or training for this fight, which is only a few weeks later. | ||
| And he says, well, this interim title doesn't mean anything. | ||
| I want the real belt. | ||
| Fighters don't take it serious. | ||
| Well, here's why they shouldn't now, right? | ||
| Well, this is a basic example. | ||
| Like, why would I fight for an interim belt? | ||
| You just strip Colby. | ||
| Now, this is us assuming that we know the whole story, right? | ||
| I don't know the whole story. | ||
| I haven't talked to Colby. | ||
| I haven't talked to Dana. | ||
| You don't talk to Colby? | ||
| I am not a fan of the idea of an interim title, unless there's extenuating circumstances. | ||
| Like someone's got a broken leg, they have to be out for six months or a year. | ||
| But it should be a year. | ||
| If they're out a year, you've got to do something. | ||
| So Woodley was out a year, correct? | ||
| So that's why it made RDA, it made sense. | ||
| And also, just to play, if I'm Dana, hey Woodley, we need you to fight, and you want these super fights, turn down fights, what can we do? | ||
| Let's force his hand, create this interim belt. | ||
| He's been out a year, which I like. | ||
| I wasn't talking about that. | ||
| I was talking about Brian Ortega. | ||
| Okay, gotcha. | ||
| I was talking about Brian Ortega because Max Holloway is defended fairly recently and he was getting ready to fight Khabib. | ||
| It's not like he's been out a while. | ||
| They offered him the Khabib fight. | ||
| He tried to cut weight for it and he might have fucked himself that way. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Yeah, it's entirely possible. | ||
| They're still trying to figure out what happened. | ||
| Well, one of the pieces of speculation is that his body started shutting down because he went through a real bad cut when he was trying to make the Khabib fight at 55 on super short notice. | ||
| It's a hard thing for him to make, 55. He's huge. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| He's like 185. What? | ||
| Yeah, dude, Max is a big fella. | ||
| Ortega's fucking huge too. | ||
| Ortega goes up to 85. I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I stood next to him. | ||
| I was like, how big are you? | ||
| He's 45. Holloway's bigger. | ||
| And so this is the problem with these guys. | ||
| They need a lot of time to get down to this weight, right? | ||
| So Holloway trying to do that, this is pure speculation. | ||
| Holloway trying to do that, it was very hard for him. | ||
| His body broke down. | ||
| And then in cutting weight for this fight, once his body started the water load, his body knew what was going on and started shutting down. | ||
| This is speculation. | ||
| Pure speculation. | ||
| But here's my point. | ||
| You can't make, I mean, until you know that he's going to be out for a certain amount of time, it seems like an interim title belt is almost disrespectful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like, he's the champ. | ||
| Makes zero sense. | ||
| But I think, I feel like it was a corporate decision. | ||
| Once you find out. | ||
| But I feel like it was a corporate decision where they went, okay, we have to fight. | ||
| We need to fill this gap. | ||
| We have to fight. | ||
| Willie has to fight somebody. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So you're talking about something different, though. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm saying, I'm saying, they go, there's got to be a title fight. | ||
| How about you have this? | ||
| How about you give, that Colby retains his interim title because there's extenuating circumstances with him medically. | ||
| He had to get nasal surgery. | ||
| He's out until November. | ||
| Colby gets the next shot. | ||
| Whoever the fuck wins this fight, Colby fights next. | ||
| Don't strip him. | ||
| See, but you haven't talked to your boy Dana. | ||
| Maybe he's saying that. | ||
| They were saying you were stripped. | ||
| Listen, fuck your belt. | ||
| But you will get the next shot. | ||
| Whoever wins this, you get it. | ||
| We're taking your belt. | ||
| We have to do this. | ||
| Well, maybe it was Usman. | ||
| Usman wants to fight Till next. | ||
| And he's like, let's do this for the real number one contender spot. | ||
| Because Usman is a guy who has quietly been beating everybody they put in front of him. | ||
| He has, and I love him. | ||
| His last fight wasn't the most exciting. | ||
| But if you go through who Maia has fought, you look at the way Colby did it, you look prior to that, Usman would have the worst argument. | ||
| But he has the most potential, probably. | ||
| No one wants to fight. | ||
| But before the Damian Maia fight, I wouldn't agree with you. | ||
| Because both guys beat Damian Maia. | ||
| His fight before that was not good. | ||
| I'm saying they're decisions. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not like you... | ||
| He wasn't Darren Tillon people. | ||
| I meant before the Damien Maia fight with Colby. | ||
| Colby didn't have a lot of big names on his resume. | ||
| He had one dominant decision over Damien Maia. | ||
| So what do we got here? | ||
| He beat Damien Maia as well in his last fight. | ||
| Although, there was a thing about that fight that bothered me. | ||
| Two things. | ||
| One, the referee chose to separate Damien Maia from Usman when he had him from behind. | ||
| And he had the whizzer? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, it was a fucking compromising position. | ||
| It was a dangerous position. | ||
| This is not Usman's fault. | ||
| This is just the referee's fault. | ||
| I severely disagreed and agreed with Matt Serra, who was talking about, the guy takes the fight on short notice. | ||
| He gets to a good position. | ||
| You're telling him to work. | ||
| You've got to be careful not to lose a position. | ||
| You're talking about a super high-level wrestler in Usman. | ||
| You can't just let No. | ||
| And for a world-class grappler like Damian Mai, he needs one nanosecond for Usman to make a wrong turn and it's game over. | ||
| You gotta let the crowd boo. | ||
| You can't get upset. | ||
| There's a situation that's happening where this guy has the best chance of winning and he's at the door. | ||
| He's at like step 8 out of 10. He's got the back. | ||
| He might go to 9, and then Usman might try to defend, and he might go to 10 and get the tap. | ||
| It's entirely possible this is happening right now. | ||
| I don't know how Usman gets down to 70, by the way. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| He's his biggest shot ever. | ||
| But even with this, Usman's so goddamn good, but you look at 170, where's the fireman? | ||
| Why does everyone have to fight for the title right away? | ||
| Let's not kill off all these young lions. | ||
| Well, I think one of the things is because they want that. | ||
| They need stars. | ||
| Yeah, they want that pay-per-view card to have a big headliner, and Woodley's ready. | ||
| Woodley can fight. | ||
| You can create that with trilogies, with great fights. | ||
| There seems to be a better strategy than to feed your young. | ||
| But that's if you didn't have a schedule that you had to fill. | ||
| See, boxing's different in that. | ||
| Boxing doesn't have a schedule they have to fill that way. | ||
| But who's making the schedule? | ||
| Why do they have to fill that schedule? | ||
|
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|
I don't know, man. | |
| Well, they have 500 fighters on staff. | ||
| Well, they have to commit to a certain amount of fights, right? | ||
| With Fox and Pay-Per-View and fight nights. | ||
| Did you see that picture of Vitor standing with Dana in front of their fucking board of fighters and trying to figure out who fights who? | ||
| No. | ||
| I got a headache. | ||
| I almost blacked out just looking at the board. | ||
| It's a hard job. | ||
| Thinking about 500 fighters you're responsible for putting into fights and how many different people and Sean Shelby and Mick Maynard and they're running around and Joe Silva's in his underwear rolling around with his buddies and Joe Silva did it right. | ||
| He's like, I got out, bitch! | ||
| He goes, I'm doing karate in my basement! | ||
| Just reading books and chilling. | ||
| Mick Maynard and Sean Shelby and Joe Silva, the three of them have one thing in common. | ||
| All of them are super smart dudes. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Those matchmakers are not like, oh, let's do this. | ||
| They're very, very smart guys. | ||
| I've learned about a lot of books from Joe Silva. | ||
| Look at that board. | ||
| Look at all those names on that board. | ||
| Bro, that's the top 15. That still gives me a headache. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In every weight class. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It gives me a fucking headache. | ||
| That doesn't give you a headache? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah, because they're not all calling you. | ||
| I look at rankings. | ||
| Dude, all those guys. | ||
| Look at all those guys. | ||
| Between the four of us, we could figure out the match-ups. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It takes too long. | ||
| And then some of them take care of themselves. | ||
| One, two, you're up. | ||
| Three, four. | ||
| I mean, let's not get crazy. | ||
| In between, driving Ferraris and making deals. | ||
| You don't have time to make these match-ups. | ||
| You've got to prove them. | ||
| You have time to hate on people on Instagram. | ||
| You've got time. | ||
| Oh, hate on people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Look at those numbers. | ||
| Look at all those numbers. | ||
| Look at those numbers. | ||
| Those numbers give me a goddamn headache. | ||
| It's just the top 15 rankings, bro. | ||
| Yeah, who's gonna fight who? | ||
| That's the easy part. | ||
| You know what really freaks me out? | ||
| How many of those people have his phone number and text him all the time. | ||
| Probably not many. | ||
| I'm like, ah! | ||
| Probably not many. | ||
| Just taking my phone, buzzing. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| See, what's crazy, if you think this is easy, 1 through 15, 15 through fucking 100 is the complicated part. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The number 50 guy's gonna fight 43. Where do they fight? | ||
| Where do you put them? | ||
| Fly them in from Brazil. | ||
| You're not ranked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So until you crack that top 15, nobody gives a shit. | ||
| Yeah, but you still gotta get matchups for them. | ||
| You gotta match them up. | ||
| And how often are you getting those matchups? | ||
| You get in a fight once in six months? | ||
| Once a year? | ||
| It's weird on the left they have the pound for pound rankings. | ||
| That's very strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It almost mirrors completely the website, though. | |
| That's the very first thing. | ||
| Hey, is Amanda Nunez fighting Chris Cyborg soon? | ||
| Well, who does? | ||
| Yeah, they're supposed to put that together. | ||
| Cyborg's pissed about it. | ||
| She wanted to do September. | ||
| But Amanda Nunez has to wait until December. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, she probably wants to put some weight on. | ||
| She said she needs time, but she's gonna fight her, and Cyborg's not happy about it. | ||
| Why did she want to fight in September? | ||
| She fights once every year. | ||
| She's like, let's go, man. | ||
| But she also goes, all right, well, if you're not giving me that, give me someone else. | ||
| I don't want to wait till December. | ||
| I can fight both, but fight me. | ||
| Well, if Cyborg does decide... | ||
| To leave the UFC. Are they going to be able to get her fights somewhere else? | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| UFC's not getting her fights. | ||
| Right, but who else is going to be able to? | ||
| It's not going to be easy for wherever she goes. | ||
| Nowhere she goes. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Too good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, too good and also... | ||
| There's not a lot of... | ||
| There's not a lot of legit 45s. | ||
| I mean, you saw how big Megan Anderson looked when she fought Holly Holm. | ||
| I mean, she looked a lot bigger than her. | ||
| You could have gave her a warm-up and then had her fight Cyborg. | ||
| That would have been better. | ||
| I wouldn't kill her off with Holly Holm, who's this animal. | ||
| Because now you don't have a competitor for Cyborg. | ||
| Where Megan Anderson would have been a fun one for Cyborg. | ||
| We did think that, you know, Megan is physically very big, very strong, likes to stand up and bang. | ||
| But now, at least a part of her game for that fight's been pretty exposed. | ||
| It's going to be a real problem. | ||
| Yeah, but also your first fight in the UFC fight in Holly Holm? | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck's sakes! | |
| But she did get kind of wrestled and dominated on the ground by Holly, which is not... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you're like, hmm, that's... | ||
| But still, Cyborg needs competitors. | ||
| That was their plan for that fight, too. | ||
| But Cyborg needs more stars and competitors, like stories. | ||
| Why kill one off with Holly? | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| But the thing is, at least that's a fight where there's a name and a name. | ||
| So I can sell some pay-per-views with that fight. | ||
| Well, for Holly, at least. | ||
| Megan Anderson at least has some hype behind her. | ||
| She comes in. | ||
| It's a good fight for Holly. | ||
| But Holly took a big risk taking that fight, too. | ||
| What if she loses? | ||
| You know, it's a bad situation. | ||
| She's been losing a lot. | ||
| And going up to 45, staying at 45, and she's a legit 35er. | ||
| But also, Cyborg's not going to fight Holly. | ||
| She goes, no, you just don't beat that girl and get a rematch with me. | ||
| I just beat you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So who fights her now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So now you're in this situation where you're like, alright, let's call up Amanda Nunes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Amanda Nunes fighting Chris Cyborg is very intriguing to me. | ||
| Way more dangerous. | ||
| Way more dangerous than what? | ||
| Way more dangerous than anybody that Cyborg's ever fought. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Other than Gina. | ||
| And that Thai girl. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, but that was just Muay Thai. | ||
| But Sharina Barge, you know, she knocked her down with a front kick to the face. | ||
| See, I would say a prime Holly's more scared. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Outstruck her. | |
| Because Holly can get up to that weight. | ||
| Amanda Nunez, she's coming up. | ||
| She's smaller. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Is she smaller, though? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I agree Holly is awesome and super highly skilled. | ||
| And a counter-striker who stylistically is more dangerous for Cyborg and Cyborg beat her pretty candidly. | ||
| Yeah, maybe if she fought her. | ||
| I mean, Holly is a little older. | ||
| She's like 36 now. | ||
| Amanda Nunez is coming forward and Cyborg coming forward. | ||
| There are two Mack trucks. | ||
| One's a way bigger fucking Brazilian truck. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen? | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| That's a really good point because I didn't know. | ||
| I feel like Amanda Nunez is, shoulders-wise, she just looks every bit as big. | ||
| She's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Sir! | ||
| She's smaller, and she does press forward, like, relentlessly. | ||
| Here's the thing, she doesn't have to fight that way. | ||
| We're assuming that she has to fight that way. | ||
| You're telling me she can use footwork like Holly? | ||
| Well, she used a lot of footwork in the last fight. | ||
| Great hands. | ||
| Great hands. | ||
| She punches hard. | ||
| She punches very hard. | ||
| Long arms, like, bow, bow, bow. | ||
| Long arms and punches hard? | ||
| You know who has longer arms and punches harder? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Her name's Cyborg. | ||
| There's not a woman alive who can beat her. | ||
| She's the greatest of all time. | ||
| It's definitely a dangerous fight. | ||
| I think Amanda Nunes has more technique, but I think when you come up like that, and you have this animal cyborg, it's scary if you get Claressa Shields to learn how to sprawl. | ||
| You ever seen Shields? | ||
| I don't know who Claressa Shields is. | ||
| Jamie, bring up Claressa Shields in Cyborg Spawn. | ||
| You've seen this? | ||
| Oh, that black guy. | ||
| She was a champion. | ||
| Black boxer. | ||
| Black girl, bro. | ||
| You said black guy. | ||
| I said black girl. | ||
| You said guy. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| I think you said guy. | ||
| You said guy. | ||
| You might have just made a mistake. | ||
| Sometimes I say Brian and I really mean to see Brendan. | ||
| No, she's amazing, though. | ||
| She can bang. | ||
| She's phenomenal. | ||
| They get sparring and they bang, bang. | ||
| Now imagine, name another professional female fighter who can get down like this. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Oh, and she's an Olympic medalist, Brian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Two times. | ||
| I watched this. | ||
| Let's watch a little of this. | ||
| Yeah, there's zero... | ||
| I would pay money for you to jump in there with either one of these girls. | ||
| No, no, no, don't do that. | ||
| No, thank you. | ||
| Don't get hurt. | ||
| Yeah, I just want to see them get starched. | ||
| Look at her fucking skill level. | ||
| Like the way she's able to counter with straight shots and use that jab and go to the body and then up to the head. | ||
| Chris is doing work. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Chris is dangerous, man. | ||
| She's fucking dangerous. | ||
| And Claressa, correct me if I'm wrong, I believe she fights at a heavier weight class. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| No, you're right. | ||
| I think she fights at 65. Is that what her weight class is? | ||
| She's heavier. | ||
| And she's the best female box in the world right now. | ||
| Yeah, and look at her fucking counter-strikes. | ||
| Look how she goes to the body and to the head. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Right to the body and right over the top. | ||
| And she's on Cyborg, too, man. | ||
| They're throwing down, dude. | ||
| Yeah, she's winning the rounds, but Cyborg's holding her own is my point. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And by By the way, if Cyborg could kick her legs, Claressa would be fucked. | ||
| I'm just saying, when we talk about Amanda Nunes' fight, we talk about her stand-up, it's like, I get that, but Cyborg's very big, man, and deals with high-level boxers. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Amanda Nunes is my favorite female fighter. | ||
| The only difference is... | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Claress is standing right in front of her and pressing her and she's trying to put it on her. | ||
| I don't think Amanda Nunes' smart strategy would be to fight this way. | ||
| I think her best strategy would be to use the aggression of Cyborg and try to counter and get out. | ||
| Has she ever fought that way before though? | ||
| She can. | ||
| She's smart enough. | ||
| Matt Brown's a genius. | ||
| She fought real slick against Raquel Pennington. | ||
| It wasn't just attacking and mauling. | ||
| What'd I say? | ||
| You said Matt, but Mike is. | ||
| Mike's amazing. | ||
| How about Mike, man? | ||
| Mike's crushing it. | ||
| Champion in his own right. | ||
| Great fighter himself. | ||
| The only guy he lost to was Jose Aldo in his prime. | ||
| A lot of money. | ||
| Dan Lambert put a lot of money in the American Top Team. | ||
| That motherfucker, if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for Dan Lambert and his contributions, the state of MMA would be a percentage or two lower than it is now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree with that. | |
| Three more. | ||
| There'd be no Colby Covington either. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| A lot of those guys. | ||
| He took them under their wing and brought them up. | ||
| And they just built a new place. | ||
| He put in dormitories, built a giant gym, built it from the ground up. | ||
| Bought a piece of land. | ||
| Put a fucking structure up. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| It's a beast. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Dan Lambert's an animal. | ||
| They need to put him in the UFC Hall of Fame. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| He should be in some sort of MMA Hall of Fame. | ||
| Him and a source. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if guys... | ||
| You think about... | ||
| The amount of money that he had to invest, the time he had to take, and the fact that he wasn't making any money out of it. | ||
| It's a passion project. | ||
| He lost their ass. | ||
| He lost a lot of money, and he got fucked over by a bunch of people, too. | ||
| No need to name names, but he'll tell you personally. | ||
| He got fucked over by a bunch of guys that he trusted. | ||
| And over the years, he learned who he could trust and who he can, and developed this incredible school and this incredible gym. | ||
| I mean, it's one of the best facilities on the planet Earth. | ||
| When it comes to MMA training, think about how many high-level guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| Yeah, this is it right now. | ||
| I mean, you know, it's crazy. | ||
| Phenomenal, phenomenal, Jim. | ||
| But it's Dan Lambert's money and investment. | ||
| The fact that he had the balls to put the money up for something like that. | ||
| Long-ass time ago. | ||
| First time I ever saw Hector Lombard, and he walked across the mat, and I'd never quite seen anybody that thick. | ||
| Those Cuban jeans, those Yoel Romero jeans. | ||
| I said, what's he fight at? | ||
| And they were like, at the time it was 85 and I didn't believe 85. He says another thing. | ||
| Like plantains. | ||
| Oh, plantains are good for you, bro. | ||
| I was talking about rice and beans and plantains. | ||
| Garlic and chicken. | ||
| No, Hector. | ||
| Did Hector retire? | ||
| You ever have that garlic chicken from Versailles? | ||
| Versailles. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| God. | ||
| Goddamn, that's just delicious. | ||
| I love Cuban food, dude. | ||
| Me too, man. | ||
| They have that garlic chicken with onions. | ||
| It's got like a lemon sauce. | ||
| I want that now. | ||
| The plantains, my mouth is wobbly. | ||
| God, I love Cuban food. | ||
| The smell of it. | ||
| Dude, I've been doing that fucking... | ||
| I love Cubans in general. | ||
| Black beans and rice on the side. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Cuban culture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cuban girls? | |
| I love Cubans. | ||
| I love Cubans. | ||
| I like the Cuban culture. | ||
| I know it's Joey Diaz, but I love him. | ||
| No, no, no, man. | ||
| I love you, Cuban girls. | ||
| Miami is great because of the Cubans. | ||
| It's a big part of it, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| They're such a blast. | ||
| They're a festive people. | ||
| Oh, best audiences. | ||
| I fucking love them. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| They make the best cigars on the planet Earth. | ||
| Everybody knows that. | ||
| And good-looking people. | ||
| They're not so hard to get anymore, are they? | ||
| Well, you get a lot of fake ones. | ||
| You get a lot of fake ones. | ||
| You get some fake ones, too. | ||
| There's a limited amount of land they grow it on. | ||
| The most precious land. | ||
| I think it's something ridiculously small. | ||
| What, the cigars? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think there's Viejo Baja. | ||
| What is the name of the area? | ||
| There's one area where they grow. | ||
| It may as well be Viejo Baja. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| We're going to find out. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But it's the soil. | ||
| There's something really special about the mineral content. | ||
| What makes them so special? | ||
| Something about the mineral contact in the soil. | ||
| Wine's that way. | ||
| If you can buy a plot of land here, and the wine's like 30 bucks a bottle, for whatever reason, because of where the sun hits and what time, just over here, like the next plot over is worth, like, you know, it's a $100 bottle of wine. | ||
| Vuelta Abajo in the Semi Vuelto region, so the Pinar del Rio province. | ||
| It's located at the western end of Cuba and contains the Vuelta Abajo. | ||
| So Vuelta Abajo. | ||
| The Vuelta Abajo is where everybody wants cigars from. | ||
| Nowhere in the world grows tobacco better than Cuba. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So that area, though, grows these cigars. | ||
| Like, if you ever had a really good, like, Hoyo de Monterrey double Corona five Havana, this is what you want to do, bro. | ||
| You want to eat a fat steak. | ||
| Like a fat ribeye. | ||
| In my mouth. | ||
| And after you carpeted that ribeye, you sit there with a double espresso. | ||
| This is such a guy thing. | ||
| And a ridiculously fat cigar that gets you high after two puffs. | ||
| Steak and a dick suck, bro. | ||
| You're sitting there puffing on this Cuban cigar. | ||
| But here's the fucking thing. | ||
| With one of those drug tigers at my feet so I can squish my feet in its fur. | ||
| Drugged up tiger. | ||
| Nyquil tiger. | ||
| Yes, bare feet. | ||
| Nyquil'd up fucking tiger. | ||
| All heroin. | ||
| You ever seen those guys roll those cigars? | ||
| It's pretty impressive. | ||
| It's a skilled thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's a craftsmanship thing. | ||
| They take pride in it. | ||
| It's not simple like rolling a joint. | ||
| I thought it was done between fat, beautiful Cuban fat thighs. | ||
| There's videos of these people doing it. | ||
| They're skilled, man. | ||
| They know which tobacco leaves to take and how to put it together and what you put on the outside is different than what's on the inside. | ||
| And this fucking one guy I was watching at the airport, Some place near the airport, rather, where they would roll cigars. | ||
| You can go and watch them do it. | ||
| And it's like you stand in front of the windows. | ||
| Dude, puffing on a stogie. | ||
| This was in Miami. | ||
| I went with Joey. | ||
| Way, way, way back in the day, there was a place where you could go where you could watch some people roll cigars. | ||
| And so they would roll the cigars in front of you and press them and put it all together. | ||
| Just like this guy here. | ||
| And they had like moisture. | ||
| Yeah, but dude, it's impressive. | ||
| Any skill like that, right? | ||
| Any touch. | ||
| Craftsman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Craftsman. | |
| Yeah, they knew how to do it. | ||
| Like, he's trimming it and they're doing it all by hand and by feel and he knows how much to put in the cigar. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| So now he's... | ||
| This is what you're going to smoke. | ||
| This is what you're smoking. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So he's rolling this bitch up. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And look, see, he's broken it all up by hand, and he's getting his finger wet and wetting down the leaves. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it's seriously skilled labor. | ||
| And you gotta think, this guy might be rolling... | ||
| Beautiful hands. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| Might be rolling 20 of those in the same box. | ||
| And look, see how he cuts it with that old-school knife. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Then he smoked that thing. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah, you do. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| Look how he pinches it down and seals the end. | ||
| This is beautiful, man. | ||
| Do you think he's doing extra because the cameras are there? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is how they do it. | ||
| I watched them. | ||
| Maybe, bro. | ||
| And then this is the outside. | ||
| So that's the inside of the leaf. | ||
| Then they take the outside. | ||
| So there's the outside, which is... | ||
| What do they call that shit? | ||
| What do they call it? | ||
| The outside of the leaf. | ||
| There's a wrap. | ||
| Is it the wrap? | ||
| I think they call it the wrap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blunt wrap. | |
| So he trims it to the perfect size, and then he gets this bitch up there and he rolls that motherfucker tight. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Roll it tight, you fuck! | ||
| Look at how he's backing it up and slowing it down and add a little moisture here. | ||
| Let me get my hand on my pants. | ||
| Keep talking. | ||
| Yeah, these guys are skilled laborers. | ||
| I mean, this is an art form. | ||
| Do you guys love cigars? | ||
| I do enjoy a cigar every now and again. | ||
| But not like you're not doing it every Friday night or some shit. | ||
| Hey, you're a pot connoisseur. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| You're a pot connoisseur. | ||
| I was thinking about this. | ||
| They spray the fuck out of weed, right? | ||
| They spray it with lots of pesticides. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| I believe a lot. | ||
| Milk, it's grown a lot. | ||
| It's grown indoors. | ||
| You should talk to Gino. | ||
| No, I actually have it on good authority that they spray the shit out of it. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some are. | |
| It's like pesticides or organic pesticides as a whole. | ||
| I have it on good authority that when you buy a lot of weed, they spray the fuck out of it because it's valuable and it gets moldy. | ||
| So they will spray it to death. | ||
| Then it doesn't really get washed. | ||
| When you do it in bulk, you're buying people who deal in this stuff in big bulk. | ||
| They kind of did money, money, spray, and then you smoke that. | ||
| I wonder what that does. | ||
| Get you high and you have fun? | ||
| Yeah, those things definitely happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| You have to pick on everything? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| The weed? | ||
| Fuck your pesticides. | ||
| I was asking a question. | ||
| Fuck your pesticides. | ||
| Just come on, smoke it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think they must wash it. | ||
| I don't think they do. | ||
| They definitely don't. | ||
| You think those guys are watching? | ||
| Those guys are watching their own feet. | ||
| You were seeing those guys? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about this? | |
| How about this? | ||
| When you're counting a million dollars, when you have those money counters, and you're in a room, and they're, like, they're, because a lot of it's just cash, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| You gotta touch that button. | ||
| You might want to go in there with a mask. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Number one, you can actually get a runny nose from the cocaine residue, and you get sick because of the dirt that comes off money. | ||
| Have you ever seen what they found on money? | ||
| They found shit on money. | ||
| First of all, almost every dollar bill has some residue of cocaine. | ||
| Not just dollar bills, but like 20 dollars. | ||
| But forget all that. | ||
| They found, this guy did this analysis on a bunch of different dollar bills. | ||
| They even found white rhino horn powder. | ||
| On all fucking movies? | ||
| On just a bunch of the bills because it gets, you know, the number of times that it's, you know, but they found crazy shit. | ||
| White rhino powder. | ||
| They found cocaine. | ||
| They found all kinds of weird dirt. | ||
| And people partying, bro? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That rhino powder is the weirdest one. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Because probably some poachers were turning back and forth. | ||
| Here's the thing about the rhino thing. | ||
| There's nothing that shows that that does anything. | ||
| Remember we were talking about the bear bile earlier? | ||
| That rhino thing doesn't do anything. | ||
| No, it's just fucked up. | ||
| That's the craziest thing. | ||
| It's so old school. | ||
| They're killing rhinos just like almost to say, oh, this tea is made out of dead rhinos. | ||
| Come have a seat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We are very fancy gentlemen. | ||
| We're drinking rhino tea. | ||
| Do you tell me if you're... | ||
| It does make me think it does that. | ||
| If someone's like, dude, we got rhino horn tea, I'm like, I gotta try that. | ||
| Well, you know what, man? | ||
| If you're far enough removed from the actual source of the misery, and you don't actually see the rhino get a shot in the head and his horn hacked off, and you just think you're a fancy guy with a gold Rolex on drinking some rhino tea... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of that. | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| They want to be exclusive. | ||
| People want to be exclusive. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| And I think it was called, what is it called? | ||
| The Green Hills of Africa, I think it's called. | ||
| The Hemingway book. | ||
| And he describes killing a rhino. | ||
| And it was done back then. | ||
| Damn, that's your second one, bro? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You get nuts. | ||
| Start throwing up. | ||
| In the evening, too. | ||
| No, I just flew from the other side of the planet, son. | ||
| Quite a week. | ||
| Why I went and bought all that weed last week is because the new rules came into place and they have to test for pesticides. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| So I was like, they had six months, which I guess it started as a July. | ||
| So Jamie's like, give me that pesticide-covered weed, son. | ||
| I don't want your bullshit-ass clean weed. | ||
| I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just now starting. | |
| That makes sense. | ||
| What we smoked is what I've been smoking a lot lately is blunts. | ||
| With the tobacco on the outside and the weed on the inside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what I just smoked? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I felt like I stacked at the taste. | ||
| You got a little buzz. | ||
| My poor pink lungs. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You get a little buzz, son. | ||
| It's like a little cigar type deal. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| A little buzz. | ||
| You're not doing it every day. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Now I'm hooked on cigarettes. | ||
| Thanks, Joe. | ||
| Well, I got back into it again with Chappelle. | ||
| Chappelle smoked one with me. | ||
| And I was like, dude, I'm like elevated here. | ||
| He goes, it's nice, right? | ||
| I go, it's weird. | ||
| I go, it's like the tobacco mixed in with the weed. | ||
| I forgot about it. | ||
| And the last time I'd really smoked one before that was with Charlie Murphy. | ||
| What does that say? | ||
| Juul users sue what? | ||
| Over the addictive e-cigarettes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's giving them too much nicotine. | |
| You fucking babies. | ||
| Just stop smoking. | ||
| Last time I saw Chappelle, he was in the back. | ||
| He was using one of the fucking vapor pens. | ||
| Here's my doctor, says this way better. | ||
| I went, have you ever looked into that? | ||
| Because they don't know for sure if it's that much better for you. | ||
| Vaping? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if it's better, but I know a lot of people say it's better. | ||
| I don't know if they're right. | ||
| I feel like smoke itself... | ||
| What is vape? | ||
| You are getting smoke with a vape, but it's different, right? | ||
| But in that smoke, like in that container, there's alcohol, there's all sorts of weird shit in that fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, that stuff's not... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's the thing with those weed ones, too. | ||
| I ran into some dude who told me he makes it with MCT oil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Well, why not? | ||
| I'll smoke it. | ||
| Yeah, oil's oil, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You are ingesting it in your lungs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you're doing something. | ||
| I'm getting into psychedelics, I've decided. | ||
| You've decided? | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| Dude, we did DMT together, bro. | ||
| I want to do it again. | ||
| And not only that, I want to do acid. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| I've done mushrooms many times. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| No, I like it. | ||
| No, because I'm getting into meditation. | ||
| I'm getting into meditation. | ||
| You want to use the tank? | ||
| Why don't you use the tank? | ||
| I've done that. | ||
| I'm letting go of my ego, dude. | ||
| You can let go of your ego. | ||
| This tank's right here for you. | ||
| Remember the one you want. | ||
| Remember the one time we used the tank? | ||
| In San Francisco? | ||
| You should use it. | ||
| Yeah, I do, bro. | ||
| Not for me. | ||
| Get bad? | ||
| Brendan decided... | ||
| I'm going to say it. | ||
| Say it. | ||
| Brendan decided he was bored and he yanked one off. | ||
| Butt naked is warm. | ||
| I was like, dude, my dick is out. | ||
| So everybody else has to lie in your cum. | ||
| People lying in your cum deals? | ||
| That's so rude. | ||
| And you know that happens all the time and that's why I'm never doing a public... | ||
| Okay, well, let me tell you something. | ||
| This tank, unless Dan Harris from fucking Good Morning America, unless he's jacking off in the tank, he's the only one who's been in it other than me. | ||
| Don't let this degenerate in there, because I'll tell you right now, this fucking guy will squeeze one off right now. | ||
| Would you squeeze one off of my tank? | ||
| Yes, he will. | ||
| That's so disrespectful. | ||
| He's a liar! | ||
| I thought this was a big place. | ||
| I thought they'd filter the water. | ||
| He comes out... | ||
| He comes out like being naked. | ||
| I don't like being naked in warm water, bro. | ||
| It's super exotic to me. | ||
| You should jerk off before you go in there so you're not tempted. | ||
| No, the water doesn't. | ||
| The salt, warm, floating. | ||
| What if your jack went off first? | ||
| Then you'll be like, man, I wish I was horny right now so I could beat up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's disrespectful. | |
| He came out and he goes like this. | ||
| He's like this. | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| He goes, how was your thing? | ||
| I go, it was good. | ||
| It was actually really amazing. | ||
| I kind of felt myself floating. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, I jacked off. | ||
| I was like, hey, way to ruin it! | ||
| I go, what'd you do? | ||
| What'd you do with it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, I just fucking jacked up in the water. | |
| Shooting heavy arcs. | ||
| That place is never gonna let me back! | ||
| I'm in San Francisco in October! | ||
| Goldfish skimmer. | ||
| Well, the salt kills everything, but gee whiz. | ||
| Oh, whatever. | ||
| Something like it does. | ||
| I got ozone filters on this thing, man. | ||
| I don't want dead cum on me, okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not jacking off in Joe's fucking tub, bro. | |
| It's a one-time thing. | ||
| Shout out to the float lab in Venice, California, and now Westwood. | ||
| They have the best tanks, and he's most meticulous about his fucking filtration systems. | ||
| He uses water filtration systems like you would use for a city. | ||
| Mike, you can see these giant fucking machines. | ||
| You should see the setup you put back here. | ||
| It's like commercial water filtration. | ||
| It's back here? | ||
| Back here. | ||
| Do they keep pervs? | ||
| Let me check out your tub, bro. | ||
| They keep everything out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we film. | ||
| We film. | ||
| We film. | ||
| There's a security camera. | ||
| There's a fucking night vision. | ||
| It's just a little red light. | ||
| Dude, it was a one fucking time thing. | ||
| I was in the warm water. | ||
| I don't like being naked. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Look, anytime someone says I was beaten off, I go, I get it. | ||
| Who doesn't? | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I'm going to be judged like a motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to be judged. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| People are gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Especially men. | ||
| Especially men. | ||
| Any other fights we should talk about to wrap this up? | ||
| Is Stipe going to get another shot at him? | ||
| He should, huh? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| This is what people are thinking. | ||
| People are thinking, you know, the guy fights, wins more UFC title defenses than anybody in the history of the sport, becomes the most accomplished heavyweight of all time. | ||
| I mean, you think about what he's done. | ||
| You think about the fact that he knocks out Fabrizio Verdum to win the title. | ||
| He knocks out Alistair Overeem to defend the title. | ||
| Knocks out Junior Dos Santos. | ||
| Stops, beats Francis when everybody's terrified of Francis. | ||
| I mean, he became the most accomplished heavyweight of all time, right? | ||
| Then he gets knocked out by a crazy perfect punch by Daniel Cormier in a perfect strategy. | ||
| You gotta go well. | ||
| For sure, I'd like to see a rematch. | ||
| It's like when? | ||
| Do you want to see him beat somebody first and then have a rematch? | ||
| I actually want to see... | ||
| But for me, Daniel Cormier, I've always said it, is the most impressive fighter to ever step in the octagon in terms of his stature. | ||
| I just think he's incredible, right? | ||
| To me, he's the best... | ||
| I want to see him fight Jon Jones. | ||
| I know that Jon Jones, they say has his number. | ||
| That's not happening, fellas. | ||
| Well, the big money is in him versus Brock. | ||
| That's all he's waiting for. | ||
| So even with Alexander Gustvin, all this 205 talk, he's like, yo, Romero? | ||
| He's like, well, that's not happening. | ||
| I'm retiring in March. | ||
| Brock, are we ready to go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Maybe January? | ||
| Well, Corey Anderson just asked for a title shot now, after he just beat Glover. | ||
| And so, you know, he said something like, hey, you know, like, maybe we can do it. | ||
| I love Corey Anderson, but the UFC's going to be like, no. | ||
| The fight is Brock. | ||
| Of course it's Brock. | ||
| DC controls the narrative, guys. | ||
| Can Brock pass tests? | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You know it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| How long do you need before it goes out of your system? | ||
| How long do you need before it's like, uh... | ||
| The answer's never, Brian. | ||
| Gustafson opens up on crazy situation, taking him off UFC 227. Look at those ears. | ||
| He's got a small injury, so he won't talk about it. | ||
| Oh, he won't talk about it? | ||
| Then how's he opening up? | ||
| Well, because people are like, oh, you won't fight Anthony Smith, but you'll fight DC or you'll fight at heavyweight, but now all of a sudden you're injured. | ||
| Anthony Smith versus Shogun was a fight that I was concerned about. | ||
| I thought Shogun retired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| However, he won three in a row. | ||
| If he would have won that, I wanted to see him get a title shot against DC because I want DC to get paid. | ||
| Well, Shogun is, he was ranked, I think, eighth before this fight. | ||
| But even though he's not that old, how old is Shogun? | ||
| 100 years old in the fight world, though. | ||
| He's a tortoise in fight world. | ||
| He's a fucking Brazilian tortoise with a unibrow. | ||
| How old is Shogun? | ||
| I think he's like 36, right? | ||
| He's my age. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| 36. 36. You're older. | ||
| Even though he's 36. Look, when Bernard Hopkins was 36 is when he knocked out Tito Trinidad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| He was in his prime. | ||
| In his prime. | ||
| When he beat Kelly Pavlik, I think he was close to 40. 42, I think. | ||
| Kelly Pavlik's a killer! | ||
| Yeah, not for everybody. | ||
| It doesn't mean that they're past their prime. | ||
| But Shogun had been in so many wars, and he got knocked out by Dan Henderson in that last fight. | ||
| MMA's different, brother. | ||
| MMA's different. | ||
| In 19, he came on the Grand Prix. | ||
| It's different, man. | ||
| Pride days, too. | ||
| It's a different world. | ||
| Did you take all the drugs in Pride? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And now we got the Grand Snitch. | ||
| It's such a different environment. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| You'd never know who was doing what back then. | ||
| Anthony Smith is a motherfucker, though. | ||
| He's a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| At 205, he's a talented dude. | ||
| He's a motherfucker. | ||
| Let's not just propel him to fight Gustafsson. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Dude, let him... | ||
| But meanwhile, he was ready. | ||
| Meanwhile, he was ready. | ||
| He wanted the fight. | ||
| Look, here's the argument for it. | ||
| The argument for it is, he knocks out Rashad on short notice. | ||
| He knocks out Shogun. | ||
| And then he'll say, look, I'll take this fight too. | ||
| That guy's rolling. | ||
| He's ready to go. | ||
| He's a veteran. | ||
| He's got momentum. | ||
| You know the fight, the most intriguing fight to me would be... | ||
| I mean, it's not Brock, and I like Brock DC because DC gets paid. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| That's the only reason. | ||
| Yes, but the most intriguing fight to me in a lot of ways would be Yoel Romero at 205, so he didn't deal with that weight cut, with Daniel Cormier. | ||
| Well, Cormier was like, no, no, no, you can't lose at this fight. | ||
| And you miss weight. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And you miss weight. | ||
| Cormier's smart. | ||
| But then Yoel's like, listen, DC, you cheated when you made weight. | ||
| You know you were pushing down that towel that one time? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That one time. | ||
| That one time, that was real. | ||
| Do we want to talk about cheating for Yoel to DC? What are you saying? | ||
| Brandon? | ||
| Stoolgate? | ||
| Oh, Stoolgate. | ||
| Here's the difference. | ||
| You fucked my boy Tim over. | ||
| The coaches. | ||
| You're saying the coaches. | ||
| John McCarthy said it totally different. | ||
| When John McCarthy explained it to me, and I think he explained it to me off the air, this is what was wrong. | ||
| The guy who put too much Vaseline on... | ||
| Yoel was not in his corner. | ||
| The guy was a UFC employee. | ||
| And he wasn't coming back in. | ||
| And John was trying to get him to come back in. | ||
| And he didn't come back in. | ||
| And Yoel sat down on the chair. | ||
| And he said if he had to do things differently, he would have done things much differently. | ||
| He would have forced him off the chair now. | ||
| But he said this clusterfuck that happened over 30 seconds was not because of Yoel's corner. | ||
| It was because of a UFC employee. | ||
| Then I take back what I said. | ||
| If John says that, what John says is word. | ||
| It's word. | ||
| I will not argue with John McCarthy, ever. | ||
| He explained it to me in no uncertain terms. | ||
| He said, but listen, man, I feel like he got away with something. | ||
| He goes, and every fight after that, I watched him like a hawk. | ||
| He goes, I felt like he got away with something in that fight. | ||
| It fucked Tim over no matter what happened. | ||
| He stayed on his stool. | ||
| He did stay on his stool. | ||
| I mean, there was 30 seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why wouldn't you, though? | |
| If no one's getting on the stool, I'm like, I'm chilling. | ||
| There was 30 extra seconds. | ||
| 30 extra seconds is significant. | ||
| It's everything. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| But then he had a good point. | ||
| He had a good point. | ||
| That's a good everything, dude. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Tim, at one point, was holding his wrist. | ||
| He had cuffed his glove. | ||
| He was holding his glove. | ||
| You mean what happens in every fight? | ||
| Right. | ||
| He hit him with a punch, and that was the punch that hurt him. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So he has an argument. | ||
| You're right, it happens at every fight, but it's not supposed to happen, right? | ||
| It's not something you're supposed to do. | ||
| Now, Tim was in full barbaric rage when this was happening, when he was throwing these punches. | ||
| He cares about grappling with him. | ||
| He recognized that he was grabbing. | ||
| He was fucking throwing bombs. | ||
| Who knows what was it? | ||
| He's fighting the most athletic guy for sure he's ever fought. | ||
| I mean, he was in a bad state in that fight. | ||
| I mean, that was a fight. | ||
| Tim had that one, too. | ||
| He was fighting a guy who was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Tim had it won. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yoel Romero. | ||
| Such a freak. | ||
| Freak. | ||
| Such a freak. | ||
| Super freak. | ||
| Beat Kelsey Anderson twice in the world champion. | ||
| I mean, he's... | ||
| Super freak. | ||
| I think you won that Whitaker fight, all due respect. | ||
| No, not a chance. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I think you won two. | ||
| It'd be a draw. | ||
| No, if you think he won, and you go to 10-8 rounds, if you look at it, it'd be a draw. | ||
| If he won two rounds 10-8, is it a draw? | ||
| Brian doesn't count. | ||
| What were you saying? | ||
| He won two rounds 10-8. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I give him one round 10-8. | ||
| One round 10-8. | ||
| But he hurt him badly in both of those rounds, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But one was like 10. I'm like, damn, that's 10-8. | ||
| So that'd be a draw. | ||
| One for sure, but he didn't get it even in one. | ||
| Which is fucked up. | ||
| But there's an argument that he got it in two. | ||
| Because in two rounds, he had him badly hurt. | ||
| The one was awful. | ||
| The one was awful. | ||
| It depends what you want to call it 10-8. | ||
| So let's say you give the one 10-8. | ||
| So let's say it's a draw, whatever. | ||
| Robert Wicker, the first one, beat him, right? | ||
| We don't say he beat him. | ||
| He did it with one leg. | ||
| And then this one, he beat him with one arm. | ||
| Whitaker, no doubt. | ||
| He broke his hand! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right! | |
| In the first round! | ||
| God, that's right! | ||
| Straight up beast. | ||
| That's incredible! | ||
| One arm, one leg. | ||
| You're right, dude. | ||
| Beat Yoel! | ||
| You're right, that's a good point. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It survived Yoel clanging on his jaw. | ||
| Yoel hit him with some bombs in that second fight. | ||
| I don't have a problem getting a 10-8 on that one. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| I think it was the fourth round. | ||
| Yeah, Whitaker's a beast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgot about that. | |
| And still getting better. | ||
| Whitaker's only 26. Such a beast. | ||
| Here's the problem, though. | ||
| He gets injured all the time. | ||
| But who is he fighting? | ||
| He's fighting a brick wall. | ||
| He fought a brick wall twice. | ||
| Literally a brick wall. | ||
| But the problem is he's fighting, so he can't, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So when you're going through that rehabbing of broken bones, you're not getting that much better in between. | ||
| Yes, but it's entirely possible that with a broken hand, he can work his kicks, he can work a lot of different things. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| With a broken hand, he's not going to have the same issues that he had with a knee. | ||
| See, with a knee, you've got mobility compromises, you have a real hard time training. | ||
| Knee, you're not training. | ||
| He's young and he could still, I mean look what he's doing in the fight. | ||
| He was throwing combinations with the left. | ||
| How about his kicks? | ||
| No, his kicks are phenomenal. | ||
| He went, Yoel, you want to fuck up my knee with those kicks? | ||
| I'm going right at you, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut these out. | |
| I'm going to try that. | ||
| He fucked his knees up. | ||
| And he fucked his knees up really early in the fight. | ||
| Like right from the jump. | ||
| He was using that oblique kick on the front leg side kick. | ||
|
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|
Now you got Yo versus Boracina. | |
| Boracina. | ||
| I would never wear clothes if I had a body like that, yeah! | ||
| Paul Acosta got mad at my boy Kelly Slater. | ||
| Well, why? | ||
| Because Kelly was like, I don't think he passed the sniff test. | ||
| Oh, you mean... | ||
|
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|
What are the chances for a rematch of that? | |
| Whitaker and Stephen Thompson? | ||
| Well, Stephen Thompson just lost to Till. | ||
| So unless Stephen Thompson goes up to 185, I don't think it's going to happen. | ||
| Because Stephen Thompson is at 170. And Stephen could do it. | ||
| He could go up to 185, for sure. | ||
| And the cue at welterweight's a nightmare. | ||
| So if he wanted to get a quick title shot, he'd have to win one. | ||
| He did knock Robert Whitaker out. | ||
| But I think you can attribute that... | ||
| Yeah, I think you attribute some of that to the brutal weight cut. | ||
| You know, we're seeing these guys that are, they're just taking so much out of their body to get to 170. That's why people get so fucking angry when someone misses weight by a couple pounds and still fights, like Darren Till. | ||
| So here's the argument against Darren Till fighting for the title. | ||
| He beat Steven Wonderboy, but how many pounds over was he? | ||
| A lot. | ||
|
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|
A lot. | |
| It was more than two, right? | ||
| Way more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was it six? | |
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| I don't think it was that much. | ||
| But it was a lot of weight. | ||
| It was more than two pounds. | ||
| That is a lot of weight to lose when you're already dried out. | ||
| And he's an enormous welterweight. | ||
| That's his advantage. | ||
| The argument should be, if we're in a fair world, if you do not make weight and you win, you cannot fight for the title next. | ||
| What world are you living in? | ||
| Right. | ||
| The problem with that is, financially, that sucks because I want these guys to fight. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And as a fan, it sucks because I want these guys to fight. | ||
| But from the perspective of the athletes, you've got to think, like, man... | ||
| And so this brings me back to my original premise. | ||
| I don't think they should be able to cut weight. | ||
| I think what they're doing at 1FC and what Ben Askren detailed, how they monitored his weight cuts. | ||
| Move everybody's championship up a weight. | ||
| You keep the same champions. | ||
| You find out what fucking weight is the right weight for them. | ||
| Great fucking idea. | ||
| If a guy's 70, nope, your real weight is 185. | ||
| If a guy's 185, nope, your real weight is 12. | ||
| People would still adjust. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| No, they don't allow them to. | ||
| They do hydration tests through their entire camp. | ||
| They check them multiple times. | ||
| They find out exactly what they weigh. | ||
| They find out what they really weigh plus hydration tests. | ||
|
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|
Damn! | |
| Yes, they're not cutting weight. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| So there's no weight classes? | ||
| They go up. | ||
| You go up a weight class. | ||
| So everyone just goes up. | ||
| He went up to 185. He was fighting at 170 before. | ||
| Make sure that's correct. | ||
| He's better for your body, better for your career. | ||
| He was 170. But I believe they gave him the title. | ||
| He kept his title. | ||
| So you don't strip the champions. | ||
| You just move the champions up. | ||
| It's healthier for everyone. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And I think they should establish additional weight classes. | ||
| So what does it say here? | ||
| Result event day. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We will not allow our athletes to compete dehydrated, Rich Franklin said. | ||
| Powerful Rich Franklin. | ||
| But if they happen to be overweight, if they're hydrated but maybe half a pound over, something like that, we can negotiate a catch weight and we have parameters for that. | ||
| We have to at least 105% of their opponent's weight. | ||
| Oh, they have to be at least 105% of their opponent's weight. | ||
| So they can't be more than 5% over is what he's saying. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| I like that a lot. | ||
| He said, we use an instrument to test the specific gravity of their urine, which tests how much solutes are in their urine. | ||
| He continued, obviously, the more solutes you have, the more dehydrated you are. | ||
| So they have dehydration tests, so they establish that a fighter is performing at a healthy weight. | ||
| They weigh in at that weight. | ||
| They're weighing in at that weight on more than one occasion. | ||
| They're checking it. | ||
| It should be easier. | ||
| It's just better for you, man. | ||
| Franklin knows a lot about this, too. | ||
| He certainly does. | ||
| He was enormous. | ||
| He was a big 205-er. | ||
| He was an 85er. | ||
| He was an enormous 185er. | ||
|
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|
Both. | |
| When he was the champ. | ||
| He was so much bigger than David Loazzo and a lot of the guys who fought. | ||
| So he knows a lot about weight cuts. | ||
| And he was a fitness phenomenon. | ||
| Math teacher. | ||
| He was like one of the guys that was one of the first super fucking conditioned guys. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who would just break guys with his pace and his will. | ||
| Looked like Jim Caron. | ||
| His discipline. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| Rich Franklin doesn't get enough credit. | ||
| He was a beast. | ||
| Because we see, because we remember him from the Anderson Bites. | ||
| Really? | ||
| God. | ||
| But for most of us, most of us have heard about him when we saw him just have to deal with that, the best of all time. | ||
| Unsolvable problem at the time. | ||
| Well, when Anderson, when he fought Anderson back then. | ||
| He hit his body, though. | ||
| Didn't he look like Jim Carrey? | ||
| He was a stud. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| When he fought Anderson, at that point in time, Anderson was the best of all time. | ||
| He was a ninja. | ||
| And how about they were like, Rich, we need you to fight Anderson. | ||
| Listen, you need to do it again, but we're doing Cincinnati in front of all your friends and family. | ||
| I remember when he was grabbing him with that Muaytac clinch and he couldn't get out. | ||
| Remember his nose? | ||
| Rich Franklin is one of the all-time greats. | ||
| He's one of the reasons I got into it. | ||
| The brown and pink. | ||
| He had a different strategy. | ||
| His strategy was to be super strong, super in condition, very highly skilled, but not at the same level of Anderson. | ||
| Anderson's thing was all technical. | ||
| Anderson was all about technique and footwork and movement, and that trumps everything. | ||
|
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|
It really does. | |
| He's kind of a nerd. | ||
| Tiago Alves told me that he's like, the dude, because he knew him really well. | ||
| He was a martial arts nerd. | ||
| He would practice. | ||
| Remember that one weird thing where he did his elbow up and knocked the guy out? | ||
| He'd been practicing that. | ||
| Apparently, according to Tiago, he'd been practicing that. | ||
| He was always doing this. | ||
| Like, I wonder if this would work. | ||
| I mean, he's just really creative. | ||
| No, no, worse than this. | ||
| Worse than this. | ||
| His fucking trainer told him to stop doing it because it's not going to work. | ||
| So he makes his wife hold a pillow for him. | ||
| So he goes home and he's fucking blasting the pillow with this upward elbow. | ||
| He does it over and over again and then pulls it off in the fight and knocks him dead with it. | ||
| It's a crazy, crazy scene. | ||
| You ever see his fight with Lee Murray and Cage Warriors? | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| You know, he was going to retire until Big Nog told him, like, you can't stop. | ||
| Come to the UFC. He was catching his stride in England. | ||
| See, he fought very well in Japan, but then really came into his own in England. | ||
| He fought Jorge Rivera. | ||
| Do you remember Jorge Rivera? | ||
| He fought Jorge Rivera, and Jorge was teeing off on him. | ||
| He was letting Jorge punch him in the face, and then he fucked him up. | ||
| It was one of the scariest fights I've ever seen. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know what the fuck he was doing back then, but Anderson was on another level. | ||
| Because Anderson in pride wasn't like this crazy super... | ||
| He was always dangerous. | ||
| That's why he was going to retire. | ||
| He was always dangerous. | ||
| Always skillful, but it was never like... | ||
| Crazy Hall of Famer. | ||
| I was watching him fight from the fights that I was watching from England. | ||
| As a hardcore fan, especially back then, I knew that there was a lot of talent that I wasn't seeing in the UFC when I was working for the UFC. So I was actively trying to seek out all the guys and people that I would hear about. | ||
| And I remember watching some of the Anderson fights. | ||
| I was like, oh, this guy's hit a new place. | ||
| Because guys do that, man. | ||
| You'll see a fighter, and they're really good, they're really good, they're really good, and then all of a sudden, Boom! | ||
| They hit that groove. | ||
| Sometimes there are certain pockets of coaching that seem... | ||
| New Zealand has high-level strikers. | ||
| Right now, for sure, with Stylebender and with Dan Hooker. | ||
| Dan Hooker. | ||
| Here's him versus... | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He's letting him hit him. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's holding on to him, and Jorge's hitting him, and hitting him, and hitting him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Boom! | ||
| And he's like, bitch... | ||
| This is not happening. | ||
| You ain't hurting me. | ||
| You're standing right in front of him. | ||
| I mean, he literally let him punch him in the face and just rolled with him. | ||
| Then how about when he comes to the UFC, they're like, hey, Chris Lieben, fight this Brazilian. | ||
| Chris is like, what? | ||
| But it's crazy how calm he was while Jorge was knocking people out, man. | ||
| He has big power. | ||
| The fact that Anderson was so skillful that he was able to just turn his face just slightly and move with those punches, just enough to take the pop off of him and completely ruin his confidence. | ||
| And then he just starts putting it on him, man. | ||
| He just started putting it on him. | ||
| Prime Anderson, you remember how electric he was coming to the octagons? | ||
| This was a fight that really turned it around for me. | ||
| This and the Lee Murray fight. | ||
| There were two fights where I was like, okay, he's in a different place right now. | ||
| You know, he just was so fucking talented and so good at judging distance and figuring out what to do and when to do it. | ||
| And when he fought Damien Maia in Abu Dhabi, it was a boring-ass fucking fight. | ||
| But there was something in the first round that he did where I was like, wait, what? | ||
| He leaped and he hit Damien Maia with a flying knee from about... | ||
| Four or five feet further away than I thought was possible. | ||
| Dude, I will never forget. | ||
| He launched himself in the air. | ||
| He was so talented, and it didn't look like it was much effort. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| When he knocked out Vitor with that fucking front kick, remember? | ||
| It was the first time we kind of saw someone get fucking starts from that main event. | ||
| I remember I was sitting basically cage-side. | ||
| My manager, Lex, was with me, and he has a bad eye. | ||
| He's basically blind. | ||
| He can't see out of his eye. | ||
| And it happens. | ||
| I go, that's the craziest thing I've ever seen in sports. | ||
| He goes, what happened? | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| You fucking missed that. | ||
| I go, I didn't see it. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| I'm like, you should not be here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love Lex. | |
| You wasted this fucking ticket, Lex. | ||
| I remember screaming. | ||
| He front kicked him in the face. | ||
| That's the best sporting event live I've ever seen. | ||
| So crazy. | ||
| It was just this... | ||
| Like, SMACK! And it was also one of those fights where you didn't know who the fuck was gonna win that fight. | ||
| That fight was crazy. | ||
| Remember what Vitor that was, too. | ||
| That was pretty jacked up Vitor. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It wasn't Vitor now. | ||
| It wasn't bodied up the way he was after that fight. | ||
| It wasn't super Vitor, but it was Vitor Vitor. | ||
| Let's see what he looked like. | ||
| Well, he wasn't damaged. | ||
| You wonder what Yoel Romero was like? | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| His body's nowhere near the Vitor that Rockhold fight. | ||
| Dude, he looks pretty good, though. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Watch the fight. | ||
| Back it up a little bit. | ||
| Watch them actually move around. | ||
| Before the knockout. | ||
| That's all it is? | ||
| Go to the weigh-ins, Jamie. | ||
| I remember very specifically. | ||
| That was the same look that he had when he fought Takeyama. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Which wasn't terrible. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was. | ||
| Compared to now. | ||
| It was. | ||
| In comparison to how he looked when he fought Bisping. | ||
| You're talking about wheel kick? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wheel kick Vitor was a different Vitor. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Which one's this? | ||
| See? | ||
| Very smooth. | ||
| This is not... | ||
| He doesn't look anything like TRT Vitor. | ||
| Look at his neck. | ||
| Look at his body. | ||
| His traps are a little small. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Obviously... | ||
| He's still about 1,400 grams. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at him. | |
| Not even close, dude. | ||
| He's pretty jacked, though. | ||
| I mean, he's in very good shape. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| But no, he's not TRT Vitor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know who beat TRT Vitor at his prime? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| Jon Jones. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| But Jon Jones is enormous. | ||
| So much better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still, though. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Hey, Vitor almost caught him in a triangle. | ||
| He's doing the trapping thing with the hands. | ||
| Look at Anderson. | ||
| Anderson was doing like Wing Chun on him and shit. | ||
| But remember people were booing. | ||
| Because these guys were just moving around. | ||
| And we're like, come on, let's do something then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hit cow! | |
| He's looking for the move, man. | ||
| He's looking for that opening. | ||
| He's looking for that opening, and he's smiling. | ||
| He's smiling. | ||
| Watch him look down, too. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| He did that old move that guys would look down at your feet and kick you in the head. | ||
| Was it Anderson 6'2 or 6'3", we think? | ||
| 6'3", I believe. | ||
| 6'3", yeah. | ||
| Tall. | ||
| Yeah, he almost got starched here, too. | ||
| Man, Vitor was throwing some fucking haymakers under on the ground. | ||
| Dude, how great is Vitor, though? | ||
| Vitor's a monster! | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best! | |
| A monster. | ||
| See, this Vitor is very fit, very good in shape Vitor, but not TRT Vitor. | ||
| Once they gave him the green light and then he didn't have to worry about testing, he was like, yee-haw! | ||
| He put a thousand horsepower engine in a Volkswagen and drove off a cliff. | ||
| He's like, let's do this! | ||
| Boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| There it is. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Came out of nowhere. | ||
| Then one-two'd him. | ||
| Look at that again. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| They did not need the one-two, but yeah. | ||
| Look how he's looking at his chest, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Totally deceptive. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He looked at his chest and front-kicked him in the chin. | ||
| And that was literally the first time we'd ever seen a front-kick to the face KO like that. | ||
| Jaw-dropping. | ||
| There's only two moments that made my jaw drop. | ||
| That, Anthony Pettis jumping off the kick. | ||
| And then remember when Leota Machida did the same thing to Randy Couture, but he did it with a jumping front-kick. | ||
| Knocked his teeth out, too. | ||
| No, he did it karate-style. | ||
| Yes, karate kid. | ||
| Knocked the old teeth out. | ||
| That was disrespectful. | ||
| And then Leota... | ||
| And then Liotto did it to fucking Vitor and was like, this is your last go around. | ||
| This is your last one. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| Let me show you something. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| He's doing the fucking... | ||
| Look at that, dude. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Here's a little fact for you. | ||
| I got Randy Couture ready for this fight the night before. | ||
| I told Mitts and mimicked Liotto Machida. | ||
| One thing I didn't mimic was the fucking karate kick. | ||
| Yeah, that was always the scariest thing. | ||
| He kicked his fucking tooth out. | ||
| You know how disrespectful that is? | ||
| I know, and I said, holy shit. | ||
| I go, he kicked his tooth out. | ||
| Dana goes, well, buy him some more teeth. | ||
| And I said, dude, he's Randy Gotore. | ||
| I want some shit with diamonds in it. | ||
| Get him some with diamonds. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| But you know what's worse than this one? | ||
| When he knocked out Vitor this last fight, that's the worst front kick you've ever seen. | ||
| What was perfect? | ||
| It's a walk-off home run. | ||
| And this is what's disrespectful. | ||
| I know he's being polite. | ||
| He goes, and fucking Vitor just falls down and he gets on his knees and prays. | ||
| Yeah, watch this. | ||
| But watch how perfect it is, too. | ||
| Watch how quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boop! | |
| Oh, quick! | ||
| See, like, stands over him and then, my brother. | ||
| Thank you for your time in the cage. | ||
| I'd rather you just walk off and jump on the cage with your dick out. | ||
| What a fucking samurai he is! | ||
| That is a crazy front kick, though. | ||
| And it's the same thing. | ||
| Left side front kick. | ||
| Well, you know Liotta and Anderson are partners in crime, right? | ||
| Yeah, back that up again. | ||
| Let me see something. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| How cool is this? | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| Not if your V tour is not. | ||
| The thing about the front kick is, man, if it's going to the face, it's such a different thing than if it's going to the chest. | ||
| Don't battle me like that after you fucking knock my head off. | ||
| When it's going to the chest, you're looking to move away with it, but it's going to the face as you're standing there. | ||
| And it's like a... | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of times when guys would take it to the body, what they would do is almost move with it a little bit. | ||
| Try to move with it, but that doesn't help you if it goes up to your chin. | ||
| Lyoto's just that career-ender, like, this is your last fight. | ||
| Very cool, Randy. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Hey, Kel! | ||
| Vitor, this is your last one? | ||
| Let's try this. | ||
| And Munoz. | ||
| How about Mark Munoz? | ||
| Munoz was terrible. | ||
| That was terrible. | ||
| Munoz, we need to take this fight on short notice. | ||
| 185. And we've all been trained together. | ||
| Lyoto, me, and Mark were all trained together. | ||
| Super jacked one, too. | ||
| And fly to London. | ||
| Yeah, but look how Jack Leota was then. | ||
| That was Leota's first spin at 185. Let's take a look at that again. | ||
| He's such a good guy. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy. | ||
| He had a perfect opportunity. | ||
| So is Mark Mooney. | ||
| First of all, those two are the best men I know that have entered that octagon. | ||
| Great men. | ||
| They're both the nice guys. | ||
| You trained with them for a long time. | ||
| Both those were my training partners. | ||
| Damn, that's amazing. | ||
| For three years. | ||
| Amazing head kick. | ||
| Yeah, those guys, I saw you roll with them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lyoto was such an unusual fighter, so difficult to deal with. | ||
| I remember four years ago, three years ago, we were in the locker room, we had done training, just had this brutal training session at Black House, and I go, how much longer are you going to do this shit, man? | ||
| And he goes, six years. | ||
| I went, get the fuck out of it! | ||
| You don't have six years where we're laughing. | ||
| He's like, well, for sure I do. | ||
| That motherfucker has longer than six. | ||
| Well, now that he's in Bellator, he's on an extended warranty. | ||
| Yeah, he got a new warranty for fucking keys on Van Nuys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's incredible. | |
| He can keep it rolling, bro. | ||
| Is Chuck actually going to fight Tito, or is that going to happen? | ||
| That's happening. | ||
| Is that really going to happen though? | ||
| Listen, they said that it's going to happen, but there's no venue picked out. | ||
| He's got a passport. | ||
| Dana's very, very concerned about it. | ||
| A lot of people are concerned. | ||
| Dana said publicly that there's a reason why he asked Chuck to retire nine years ago. | ||
| He doesn't think it's right, and he wouldn't put the fight on himself. | ||
| I mean, whoever would put the fight on would make a shitload of money. | ||
| Credit to them for not wanting to do it, because Dana cares about Chuck, but Chuck wants a fight. | ||
| So, yeah, how are you going to stop him? | ||
| How are you going to stop him? | ||
| If he goes, I want to fight, and Oscar medically can. | ||
| Medically. | ||
| The thing is, whoever the board, I mean, I don't know what his medical condition is. | ||
| You have to check. | ||
| How do they check that? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| Well, you have CAT scans, you have MRIs. | ||
| It all depends on where they're going to do it, too. | ||
| I highly doubt they do it in LA. Or Nevada. | ||
| Anaheim, Nevada, or New York. | ||
| No, it's going to be on an Indian reservation or some shit. | ||
| Like Tacoma fucking Indian reservation or some shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Tacoma. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| I made that up, guys. | ||
| Fucking disrespectful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, like, Tacoma fucking Indian reservation. | |
| Sorry to all the Indians out there. | ||
| I'm like sitting there going... | ||
| They'll do it at Foxwoods or something. | ||
| Tacoma. | ||
| Yeah, Foxwoods. | ||
| That's what I was looking for. | ||
| Foxwoods. | ||
| No, Foxwoods. | ||
| Yeah, they'll do it at Foxwoods. | ||
| They put up big fights at Foxwoods. | ||
| You know, and obviously... | ||
| You know, you're dealing with Oscar De La Hoya's long history of promoting. | ||
| He knows where he can get away with what and what they can do. | ||
| But the thing is, will they do that or will they give them some real examinations and find out how Chuck's doing? | ||
| Tito's good to go. | ||
| Tito's good to go. | ||
| He's been fighting recently. | ||
| He's been winning recently. | ||
| Smart guy. | ||
| Tito's good to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's fine. | |
| You talk to Tito. | ||
| I talked to Tito real recently. | ||
| I have Tito on my show like every week. | ||
| He's 100% there. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's there. | ||
| I love Tito. | ||
| He's a good guy, man. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| Really good guy. | ||
| We have an impression of Tito that a lot of it is based on his interactions with other people, his fights with other people. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| But also, that's a product of the times with him because he was this badass, the Huntington Beach bad boy. | ||
| There was no podcasting. | ||
| There was no social media. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's also changed. | |
| There's no podcasting. | ||
| You didn't get to know him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So if Tito came on, if Tito at the time was as big as he is, and he came on your podcast, he'd been even better Bigger! | ||
| Because you go, oh my god, I love that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a good guy. | |
| I love that guy. | ||
| He did come on my podcast many, many years ago. | ||
| But he'd already retired. | ||
| Yeah, he retired. | ||
| I'm saying if he came and went during his heyday, his 100 Beach bad boy, and you were as big as you are now with this podcast, and you got his story out, oh my god. | ||
| Well, people get to see people and they have an idea who that person is. | ||
| Like, Kevin Lee's a perfect example. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| People have this great guy, super smart. | ||
| Super tuned in, super ambitious, fucking amazing fighter, and young as shit. | ||
| Massive, massive potential. | ||
| But people saw him on the podcast, got to hear him talk for three hours, and he's super honest about everything. | ||
| And articulate, smart, outgoing. | ||
| And great control of his ego. | ||
| He's not a maniac. | ||
| He's like a really bare guy. | ||
| Yeah, because in sound bites, you get such a different impression of certain people. | ||
| Especially in those interviews, man. | ||
| Those interviews, the guy's like, tell me what you're going to do to your opponent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm going to fuck him up. | ||
| By the time I ride, when I rock off the scale and I'm energized, what are you going to do to him? | ||
| You're all aggressive. | ||
| And you're playing a character. | ||
| You know who I think would grow even bigger as a superstar if they did your podcast? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| Conor McGregor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I've sat down with Conor McGregor. | ||
| How big can he get? | ||
| Well, I'm just... | ||
| No, I think you would get less hate. | ||
| Obviously, he has all the accolades in the world, and there's the stool or the dolly, all that shit. | ||
| But as a person, if you sat down and you talked to him, you just didn't get all that hoopla over here. | ||
| You sat down and talked to him. | ||
| I think you'd be even bigger. | ||
| When he retires, you won't get that. | ||
| Well, we almost did it before. | ||
| There was some trying to figure out times before he became gigantic, before the Diaz fight, before he won the title. | ||
| There was some talk about it. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| For better or for worse, I don't chase anybody. | ||
| No, I'm not saying that, Joe. | ||
| I'm not saying you aren't, but I'm saying I know there's some great guests. | ||
| I know there's some people that I would really like to get on, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. | ||
| I like having you guys on as much as I like some scientist who flies in from France. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I just like talking to people that are fun, whether it's talking to you guys or talking to... | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Whoever the fuck it is. | ||
| I would like to get Obama on one day. | ||
| I would like to talk to him. | ||
| You can. | ||
| You're getting huge. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I would like to talk to a lot of people. | ||
| Would you like to get Trump on? | ||
| I would talk to him. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| When are you going to get real answers, though? | ||
| As he's a president, you're not. | ||
| You'll find out if you get real answers. | ||
| Because did you talk to Maren? | ||
| Have you talked to Maren about when he had Obama on? | ||
| No. | ||
| You had to submit a list of questions, had to okay the questions. | ||
| And even Maren, you know, he goes, listen, it was great, I'm glad to give him the time, but that's not like a real podcast. | ||
| There can't be an agenda, and I can't know what I'm going to ask you next. | ||
| When we come on here, Fight Companions, or our podcast, I have no agenda. | ||
| I have no idea what we're going to Sure. | ||
| They have to be concerned that you're going to set them up and make them look bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a problem. | |
| There's so much on the line for everything. | ||
| And when Obama was doing this, Obama was a sitting president. | ||
| He was about to leave office. | ||
| And they probably had very strict rules in terms of what they would allow and not allow in terms of interviews. | ||
| Trump doesn't give a fuck about all that. | ||
| I guarantee you, he would be more confident and more open to just being able to figure his way through it. | ||
| Because he wouldn't worry about me outmaneuvering him. | ||
| He also wouldn't worry about me outmaneuvering him. | ||
| He's not that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a smart dude. | |
| But also, have you ever heard Trump before he's president on Stern? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's some of the greatest interviews. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| Well, he was great. | ||
| But he's also older. | ||
| And then also the pressure of that gig, and then the pressure of everybody hating him. | ||
| The whole thing is fine. | ||
| And I'm not saying this... | ||
| That he's the greatest guy in the world. | ||
| But I'm saying, the whole thing is insane. | ||
| Nobody should be president. | ||
| Fucking nobody. | ||
| Such a thankless job. | ||
| Nobody should have that kind of power. | ||
| And it's such a dumb move to take that gig at 70. Well, every decision you make, you piss off 50% of the people and you make 50% of the people. | ||
| And how much time do you have left? | ||
| No, you're not going to win. | ||
| How much time do you have left? | ||
| Do you have 20 years left if everything goes great? | ||
| It's a nice cherry on the sundae for a guy like that. | ||
| For sure, with his ego. | ||
| But also to say, hey, you have four years to accomplish all this. | ||
| Fuck, four years! | ||
| Do you know who that John Lucavacci guy is? | ||
| He's that Italian guy. | ||
| He does a lot of dancing on the Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he's the best. | |
| He's a super millionaire guy. | ||
| Silver Fox. | ||
| Go to his Instagram. | ||
| He's got a video of him dancing, and there's all these girls with thongs on behind him, bent over with their ass up in the air. | ||
| So he's an Italian damn Brazilian? | ||
| That's what you're supposed to be doing when you've got Trump money. | ||
| What Trump should be doing is fucking be half-naked by the pool, dancing in front of butts. | ||
| I guess Stern knows... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I'm going to want you to watch this real quick. | ||
| This is what, if I was friends with Trump, I would say, listen, bro, I want to be like this guy. | ||
| By the way, he's younger than me, so he's not that old. | ||
| No, he's not. | ||
| Brian, he's older than you. | ||
| He's 50. 50. Yeah, he's in the neighborhood. | ||
| So, he's a little wrinkled because he's in the sun every day, but meanwhile, he's doing this every day, too. | ||
| Look at his awesome ankle bracelets. | ||
| Dude, look at the bitches in the back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, well, this is the point. | ||
| This is what I would tell Trump to be doing. | ||
| Do this, and then watch the girls behind him. | ||
| Those are life goals. | ||
| However, I see a lonely man. | ||
| I gotta start dancing more. | ||
| I think you're wrong. | ||
| Look, not lonely. | ||
| He's happy as shit. | ||
| He's always laughing, always smiling. | ||
| Either it's a tremendous act or he is actually a happy rich guy who's banging tens all over the world. | ||
| That's a legit point, sir. | ||
| And he's working as a DJ everywhere, and he's got all these videos of him having a great time. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He's killing it, man. | ||
| Yeah, would you rather be him or Trump? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| This guy's having a great time with his money. | ||
| All these people, it's all love and happiness. | ||
| He's jetting all over the world. | ||
| I'd rather be doing stand-up. | ||
| Even Elon Musk. | ||
| Take notes, bro. | ||
| Trump is just... | ||
| You know, he's a guy who wanted to win. | ||
| Mr. Steel, yo girl! | ||
| Look at that outfit. | ||
| Brian, get some fucking tattoos. | ||
| I gotta get some tats, bro. | ||
| Salary, bro. | ||
| That looks like somebody just wrote on him with a magic marker. | ||
| He's got some bad tattoos, too. | ||
| He's got a picture of his face on his back going like this. | ||
| Shush. | ||
| It's the shut the fuck up tattoo, he says. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It's a very, very unfortunate tattoo. | ||
| When you're a billionaire, you do where the fuck you want, though. | ||
| He's a strange cat. | ||
| By strange, you mean awesome, Brian? | ||
| Hashtag ballin. | ||
| Hashtag son and a dick son, right? | ||
| Pimpin' all over the world. | ||
| Hashtag G? GV lifestyle. | ||
| He's got it tattooed on his legs. | ||
| That's aggressive, but when you're a billionaire... | ||
| But that's his thing. | ||
| He's got water there, in case you want to know. | ||
| He has love on his right tit, because you need love on your right tit. | ||
| Dude, he's kind of killed it. | ||
| This is the thing, man. | ||
| This guy's smiling. | ||
| Every time I see Trump, he's got a bigger and bigger frown. | ||
| And he's aging by the day. | ||
| Of course, man! | ||
| He's aging like fruit. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aging like fruit. | |
| Yeah, it's not a fine wine. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not a cheese. | ||
| It's a peach. | ||
| The fucking most recent Cohen tapes, Cohen's releasing tapes now of him negotiating about paying off a gal. | ||
| Yeah, well, they seized those tapes. | ||
| Cohen's not releasing them. | ||
| Cohen released them. | ||
| Cohen released them to CNN. I thought they seized the nine tapes. | ||
| I believe it's just the department. | ||
| Oh, they definitely did that, but I believe they said that Cohen released them to CNN. Is that true? | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| Did you see that his wife got busted watching CNN? No. | ||
| He freaked out because she was on Air Force One watching CNN? Just hating on him? | ||
| They call it hate-watching. | ||
| She doesn't enjoy him. | ||
| Dude, come on, man. | ||
| It's tough when the Stormy Daniels and the other one comes out. | ||
| Dude, you know what I want to know? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Who's fucking her? | ||
| Where's that dude at? | ||
| She's a beautiful one. | ||
| Well, she's probably keeping it together for a kid, man. | ||
| She's got a 10-year-old kid. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Donald Trump erupted with rage when Melania's Air Force One TV was tuned to CNN's leaked email. | ||
| How crazy is it that the president is in a battle with CNN? That is so fucking insane. | ||
| Kind of winning. | ||
| Well, what he's definitely 100% done is damage their reputation among some people. | ||
| And they kind of deserve it sometimes. | ||
| Some of the mainstream media deserves, because what happens now is to stay in business, they've got to create clickbait. | ||
| White House bans network pool reporter from Rose Garden event? | ||
| She asked him about the Cullen tapes, and she got banned from him. | ||
| Damn, you can get banned if you ask him questions? | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| He's an authoritarian. | ||
| You have a fucking list of questions? | ||
| I think the White House has always reserved the right to sort of, you're invited into the press pool, I believe. | ||
| And I think it's always been that sort of the president's prerogative. | ||
| There are all these little sneaky things that the executive power has that's kind of granted to the executive. | ||
| The craziest one is the pardon thing. | ||
| You can go, yeah, they killed a bunch of people, Brian, but I like you. | ||
| We like to smoke stogies together. | ||
| Did you guys listen to I Admit It, the new R. Kelly 19-minute song? | ||
| I have and I've heard. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Because he talks about it. | ||
| He peed on a 14-year-old and got away with it. | ||
| I don't know what happened there. | ||
| That's supposedly what happened, yeah. | ||
| But does he admit a lot of it? | ||
| No, he doesn't admit peeing on anybody or that the video was him. | ||
| What's he admit? | ||
| Most of the song is just him talking about all the chicks he banged and about how they took all his money because they made him sign contracts when he was young and he was dyslexic and he couldn't read. | ||
| He gave away all the rights to his music and talking about all the flaws that he has and How many girls he lied to and how many girls he banged and he goes over. | ||
| So that whole story about him with the young girl was not true? | ||
| You ever seen the video? | ||
| Wait, who said that? | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He got off. | ||
| I mean, I know he was with a 14-year-old. | ||
| No, just because someone gets off or a jury of their peers doesn't convict them. | ||
| Yeah, she was paid off, I thought. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Yeah, but it does not mean that he didn't do it. | ||
| Have you seen the video? | ||
| No. | ||
| It looks like he did it. | ||
| No, I've watched him piss on a girl. | ||
| It certainly looks like it. | ||
| Here goes. | ||
| R. Kelly secretly marries 15-year-old Aaliyah 22 years ago today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That was Aaliyah. | ||
| That was a singer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That was a different thing. | ||
| That's in the song, too. | ||
| I don't know if I should shut up. | ||
| I shouldn't be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that alone is illegal in a lot of places, right? | ||
| It's also... | ||
| 15 is illegal everywhere in the United States. | ||
| You mean everywhere, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Today. | |
| I think 16 in Vegas is... | ||
| 22 years ago, though, was it? | ||
| Because that's when it was. | ||
| I think it was always 16, right? | ||
| I think 15 seems very young. | ||
| They kept that under wraps, though. | ||
| That wasn't public knowledge. | ||
| I think the age of consent varies in the states and has been different over the last couple decades. | ||
| And I think 22 years ago, what he did, I don't think it was illegal. | ||
| Is it Mexico 14? | ||
| In Mexico, Mexico? | ||
| Mexico, Mexico. | ||
| Mexico's probably real young. | ||
| Is that where he did it? | ||
| I thought I was 14. Did he do it in Mexico? | ||
| I would imagine for it to be legal. | ||
| Well, that's the weird thing, right? | ||
| Like, if it's illegal in the United States, but it's legal somewhere else, say if you go to Japan or wherever the fuck it's legal, and you get married, and then you come back to the States, can you live as a husband and wife? | ||
| How the fuck does that work? | ||
| It's as low as 12. So it's as low as 12? | ||
| Where? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Mexico. | ||
| In Mexico, it's as low as 12. 12? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe as low as 12. Can I get a whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop? | |
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| But, you know, why don't, you know, we need to incorporate them. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Just tell Mexico, listen, we're going to make drugs legal. | ||
| We're going to pull all the troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq. | ||
| Send them into Mexico. | ||
| Clean up all the drug cartel bullshit. | ||
| But let's cut off the 12-year-old shit. | ||
| Let's just stop all that. | ||
| We're neighbors. | ||
| Keep it respectable. | ||
| Keep it respectable. | ||
| Brian Callen, congratulations on your special. | ||
| I know you worked very, very hard for this. | ||
| I'm very proud of you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It was awesome to see you gear up for it, to see how fucking fired up you got, and you were doing a lot of touring, and I knew you were constantly doing sets around town and constantly writing on it and working on it and tweaking on it. | ||
| You could tell. | ||
| You could tell you were really obsessed with it, man. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| It's the best thing I ever did, so I'm happy about it. | ||
| Well, it better be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Thank you, buddy. | ||
| So what do you do now? | ||
| So now it's being edited? | ||
| And then you're going to write some new shit, take some time. | ||
| It'll take some time. | ||
| You have one more show. | ||
| You don't have the whole rest of the year off stand-up, because October, we're doing that big show with All Things Comedy Festival. | ||
| You, me, Theo, Ari Shaffir, and Big J. All Things Comedy is doing a festival? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| But we're doing one show on a Saturday night, the weekend before Halloween. | ||
| In Phoenix? | ||
| In Phoenix. | ||
| One show only. | ||
| What is the date? | ||
| Tickets just went on sale. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| You're in it. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| All right, boys. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be fun. | ||
| Joe Rogan, this was fun. | ||
| Always the most fun. | ||
| You're the best, man. | ||
| No, you're the best. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| Austin, Dallas. | ||
| Austin, Dallas. | ||
| First weekends in August. | ||
| Austin, Dallas. | ||
| Website for tickets. | ||
| TVATK.com, son. | ||
| TVATK.com. | ||
| And then September 13th, Vancouver. | ||
| Get them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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