March 31, 2010 - The Joe Rogan Experience
43:08
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Start recording, son! | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the broadcast. | ||
| Are we on? | ||
| Yeah, we're on right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch! | |
| I'm going to get it so you can see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If they had Twitter for, like, hooking up, call it Twatter. | |
| Retwat. | ||
| That's a terrible way to start off this show. | ||
| No one heard that shit. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| People are online right now. | ||
| Dude, there's like a hundred people online, I'm sure. | ||
| Let's see how many people we got. | ||
| 94 people. | ||
| Did anybody hear that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a terrible goddamn joke. | |
| Wow, this is blocky as fuck. | ||
| Look how goofy it looks. | ||
| Serious fucking delay, too. | ||
| What's happening, Eddie and Joe? | ||
| When are we coming back to Philly? | ||
| We'll be back to Philly, eventually. | ||
| I don't know when the UFC's gonna be back in Philly. | ||
| But people have been calling for young Eddie Bravo to be on the Joe Rogan Podcast. | ||
| He's here, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| There he is, Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Man, there's like a five-second delay in the video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's kind of weird, right? | |
| I know. | ||
| It's awkward. | ||
| Hey, guys. | ||
| We're here in Charlotte, North Carolina. | ||
| Pretty fucking badass town, isn't it? | ||
| It's nice here. | ||
| People are all friendly and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it. | |
| I like it. | ||
| I rented a car for the first time coming to UFC City. | ||
| And you get to know the city a lot better when you have to know where the hell you're going. | ||
| You know, we're so used to just jumping in bands and just not paying attention. | ||
| And we really don't even know anything about the city. | ||
| Renting cars is the key. | ||
| Yeah, drive around, get to know the place. | ||
| I like it here, man. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| It's all spread out. | ||
| It's like no congestion. | ||
| People are all friendly. | ||
| There's no tension here. | ||
| It's a good-sized city. | ||
| Charlotte's a good-sized city. | ||
| It's not too crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they're super friendly. | ||
| I drove into... | ||
| The weigh-ins, and they were charging for parking, and since I drove and didn't go with a UFC van, I pulled up to the girl taking the money, and I go, listen, I actually work for the UFC, I just don't have my laminate, but I'll pay, whatever. | ||
| She's like, no, just drive right in. | ||
| I just drove right in, parked, went up to, I needed to get backstage, and again, I didn't have my credentials. | ||
| So there's, like, security there, like, North Carolina security. | ||
| I'm like, I need to get my credentials. | ||
| Is there any way? | ||
| I mean, can you direct me to a spot where I can speak to someone? | ||
| She goes, just go backstage. | ||
| I just walked backstage. | ||
| I went right in. | ||
| Zero security. | ||
| Now you're telling stalkers how they can meet fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Next time in North Carolina, you have some ammo. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I can't read this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's too far. | |
| Is your eyes bad? | ||
| Is my eyes bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Is your eyes be bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Well, we froze up. | ||
| Ustream kind of sucks. | ||
| You know, they all suck, these things. | ||
| The internet's not quite ready for this shit yet. | ||
| So what are we looking, we just answer questions and shit? | ||
| What stuff have we done in town? | ||
| We haven't done shit in town, really. | ||
| I went river rafting. | ||
| Last night I had a show at a place called Amos's South End. | ||
| A lot of fun. | ||
| Great crowd. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| Then afterwards there was a gentleman's club down the street. | ||
| We had to bring some dudes who came to my show. | ||
| They had two books they wanted Eddie to sign. | ||
| It's actually kind of a funny story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they wanted Eddie to sign his books. | |
| So we had to get the books over to Eddie. | ||
| And then we went to the Waffle House and fucked up some waffles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that was a good time. | |
| Good times, my friend. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| What do I think about synthetic cannabis that's legal? | ||
| That's kind of interesting shit you know about that man? | ||
| Marinol? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's a synthetic cannabis. | ||
| It's like, you know how they had that, when the whole BALCO scandal came out, what it was was a steroid that they had made that was just slightly different from regular steroids and was undetectable in tests because the regular steroids are what they were looking for in the tests. | ||
| They weren't looking for this stuff. | ||
| Well, that's the same thing with this. | ||
| There's a synthetic cannabis that you can smoke. | ||
| It has the same effects and it doesn't show up in tests. | ||
| What does it look like? | ||
| It looks like weed. | ||
| It actually looks like wheat. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like wheat. | ||
| So it's a plant. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And they just, wow. | ||
| They've just grown it. | ||
| I mean, it makes sense. | ||
| I mean, they've figured out a way to... | ||
| I didn't know about this. | ||
| Botanists have figured out a way a long time ago to put THC into other things. | ||
| Like, there was an article online where this guy was trying to put THC in tomatoes. | ||
| Get tomatoes to grow THC. Like, they can fuck with plants and have them, you know, different plants produce more vitamin C and different plants do certain things and... | ||
| You know, they're trying to figure out how to make these... | ||
| I guess they have figured out a way to make weed that doesn't show up in drug tests. | ||
| Pretty crazy. | ||
| And it's legal. | ||
| So if you work for UPS or something like that and they drug test you and you can't smoke weed, you can smoke the fuck out of this stuff. | ||
| How long has this been out? | ||
| It's been out for a while, man. | ||
| They're trying to make it illegal. | ||
| It's a big deal now. | ||
| They're trying to make it illegal? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| Those dirty bitches. | ||
| So you could sell it anywhere? | ||
| Is this the stuff that they're selling in High Times magazines where they sell weed? | ||
| No, that bullshit, that stuff's not real at all. | ||
| Yeah, what's up with that shit? | ||
| High Times magazine is whack. | ||
| That is the weakest shit ever, that fake weed that they sell. | ||
| That is so dumb. | ||
| But they say that that's like a big part of their advertising revenue. | ||
| I think that's just because they're fucking lazy. | ||
| You know, you're telling me that everyone's so afraid of weed they can't advertise their products in your magazine? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| But yeah, you can sell fake weed. | ||
| You're just ripping people off. | ||
| That's all that is. | ||
| That stuff doesn't get anyone high. | ||
| But this other stuff does. | ||
| This other stuff is real shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where do you get it? | |
| Eddie is here. | ||
| Talk about UFOs already. | ||
| Michael Chiavello, the guy from K1 and Dream, the Australian dude that we hung out with in Australia, he's a big UFO guy and he was down at the Roswell Museum and he actually saw a UFO and took fucking photos of it and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, who the fuck knows, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you have any UFO questions, go ahead and shoot. | |
| Did I finish the entire plate of food you posted on Twitter? | ||
| I finished most of it. | ||
| I fuck up some food, folks. | ||
| Especially after shows. | ||
| After shows, I could fuck up some food. | ||
| You know, after UFC, too. | ||
| You burn off a lot of energy just talking. | ||
| Doesn't seem like you would, but you do. | ||
| Like a red band? | ||
| Did he actually say something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flappos Saturday? | |
| Flappos Saturday. | ||
| Red bands? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what he's doing. | ||
| Did I watch that train wreck prison wives on the Discovery Channel? | ||
| No, there's a show about chicks whose husbands are in prison. | ||
| Oh, I might have to Tivo that one. | ||
| Yeah, what channel? | ||
| I'll Tivo that shit. | ||
| Discovery Channel. | ||
| That might be good. | ||
| Oh, the History Channel documentary. | ||
| I know what I saw. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that one too. | ||
| That was kind of interesting. | ||
| That was the best documentary I've ever seen on UFOs. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| I know what I saw. | ||
| I didn't have... | ||
| It was one of those rare documentaries about UFOs that didn't have, like, the other side. | ||
| You know, they didn't have a guy going, well, you know, it's all just mythology, and, you know, it's in their minds, and they're all crazy, and why are they landing in Idaho all the time? | ||
| Why not in big cities? | ||
| They didn't have any of those guys, because it was so ridiculous, because they had so many high-ranking military officers coming forward. | ||
| You know, that one case in England on a U.S. base where they had 80 witnesses? | ||
| And three of the guys went up to it and touched it and wrote down notes on it and they all came up and the Ministry of Defense told, they said, this is not a concern of national defense. | ||
| That's their comment. | ||
| So that is, that alone right there is pretty crazy. | ||
| And those Arizona, those Arizona lights, I mean people saying there's, I don't know how many witnesses, but The Arizona Lights is pretty crazy. | ||
| I know a dude who lived in Arizona saw that. | ||
| And he said he saw the fucking, the big pyramid thing flying through the air. | ||
| And they're saying it's like bigger than aircraft carriers. | ||
| Yeah, he said it was like a football field. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He said it was gigantic. | ||
| He said it was a gigantic big pyramid shaped thing flying through the sky. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| You know, my take on UFOs is if there really were aliens that could come here from another planet... | ||
| Do you think that they would be so silly that they wouldn't disguise themselves? | ||
| I think a lot of the shit we see all the time could be UFOs. | ||
| I told you about that crazy dude that told me that he was showing me pictures of clouds. | ||
| There's a dude that I know who's a comedian who's a very nice guy and the other day I'm talking to him at the improv And homeboy says, what do you think about UFOs? | ||
| And I said, well, you know, hey man, I don't know. | ||
| I haven't seen one, but I don't discount the idea. | ||
| I mean, it's certainly possible. | ||
| Obviously, we have spaceships and for someone from other planets, if they're more intelligent than us, for sure they could have spaceships. | ||
| So he starts pulling out his iPhone and the dude has like dozens of pictures of clouds on his phone. | ||
| And I'm like, what is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think about this? | |
| Look at this right there. | ||
| And I go, it's a cloud. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, but it's an unusually shaped cloud. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| And I'm like, oh no, he's crazy. | ||
| I'm like, he's fucking crazy. | ||
| This dude takes pictures of clouds, all different clouds, and he's convinced that these clouds are UFOs. | ||
| But on one hand, you've got to think, like, if you really are so super intelligent that you can visit from other planets, why would you, you know, for sure, we're working on cloaking devices right now. | ||
| There's already this Japanese jacket that's been invented that basically takes an image of what's behind you and broadcasts it on the front of the jacket. | ||
| It's basically like Predator-type shit. | ||
| You remember from the movie The Predator? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they really have this already. | ||
| I mean, it's not perfected, but... | ||
| We can't travel to other planets yet either, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So if someone from another planet is so much more highly intelligent than we are that they can actually travel here from other galaxies or other solar systems, for sure they've figured something like this out. | ||
| So when you're seeing the sky, I mean, it's very possible, you know, that what you're seeing is if there are UFOs, you would see an image of the sky behind the UFO being projected on the UFO. So you wouldn't see shit. | ||
| You know, that said, if you take into account how many UFOs are reported, I mean, it's like some ridiculous amount of UFOs reported. | ||
| And if you take into account how many people see and don't report, they don't say anything because they don't want to look foolish. | ||
| You know, that's a lot of goddamn UFOs. | ||
| I think a lot of what people are seeing... | ||
| Is military jets that they don't understand. | ||
| Like, when I was in, we did Fear Factor down near Edwards Air Force Base, and they had stealth bombers that flew up. | ||
| Dude, you see a stealth bomber, you think that's a goddamn spaceship. | ||
| Yeah, the French government did a test with some, there was a serious review of all the, there's like 50,000 or something, like something, 50,000 since a certain year. | ||
| There's probably way more. | ||
| But they came to the conclusion that 95% of the reported cases can be explained away with that military, top-secret military planes and different lights. | ||
| But they said 5% most likely are aircraft from other worlds. | ||
| Well, I don't know why they can say aircraft from other worlds because I don't necessarily think we have a perfect inventory of what exists in this world. | ||
| No, but they're saying that that's probably what, that is more likely it's some extraterrestrial craft than, I mean, there's 5% of the evidence. | ||
| But just because it's not from our government or the Russian government doesn't necessarily mean even it's from another planet. | ||
| We don't know what the fuck is in the ocean. | ||
| Well, you know, that's true. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous, but a lot of UFOs get sighted Yeah, there was a whole History Channel documentary about that. | ||
| And people go, well, that's ridiculous. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| It's silly that you could send a fucking picture that you could take this fucking thing and send a video across the sky into somebody else's phone in Australia. | ||
| That's way more silly than some people from another planet have visited here or that there's something living in the ocean. | ||
| Especially when you have guys like ex-Pentagon high-ranking officials like Philip Corso... | ||
| Who, before he died, he wrote a book and he explained his job in the government, in the Pentagon, was taking crash UFO stuff, taking it to Hughes Aircraft and Lockheed and all these different aerospace companies to reverse engineering. | ||
| He's saying, he was like, there's many interviews on YouTube with Philip Corso, he's dead now, he was on Dateline and they try to like ridicule him, but Jay Allen Hynek too is another excellent example. | ||
| Jay Allen Hynek was the guy who was in charge of Project Blue Book and he was told by the government when they had this thing to explain away everything. | ||
| Swamp gas, mass hysteria, anything they could do to explain away UFO cases. | ||
| But as he became more involved in Project Blue Book and as he investigated more and more sightings and dealt with more and more evidence, he became absolutely convinced that UFOs were real. | ||
| So J. Allen Hynek, who is a guy actually working to discredit UFOs, eventually came out and started supporting the whole UFO movement. | ||
| So I think it's not ridiculous to think that we've been visited. | ||
| I mean, we go to the Congo all the time and stare at chimpanzees. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, if you were from another planet and you had the ability to travel here, why wouldn't you check out people? | ||
| People are fucking completely ridiculous. | ||
| They're probably fascinating. | ||
| I mean, what would be more... | ||
| We study lower forms of animals. | ||
| We always have. | ||
| And we've been doing this since the beginning of time. | ||
| I mean, people have always been interested in botany and we've always been interested in studying different monkeys and different weird animals and other... | ||
| I mean, that's the whole thing with Darwin. | ||
| You know, he took... | ||
| You know, he took an account of all these different animals that he came across. | ||
| We've always done shit like that. | ||
| And I think if we were a much higher intelligence than human beings, we would want to do that with people. | ||
| We would want to check out and see what the fuck people are up to. | ||
| See if people are evolving. | ||
| See what the bottleneck is as far as like social and cultural evolution and see what the bottleneck is as far as technological evolution and whether or not our technology is We're surpassing our ability as a human being to make rational decisions. | ||
| And I think it probably is right now. | ||
| They just fired up the Large Hadron Collider yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yesterday was like the first test. | |
| Nos Pohatu is watching. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I think that looks like... | ||
| Nos Pohatu? | ||
| I think that looks like... | ||
| El Duderito? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It looks like... | ||
| Poha, too. | ||
| If you don't know, poha is Portuguese. | ||
| Brazilian guys say poha all the time. | ||
| It sort of means like fuck or balls. | ||
| It means like a bunch of different things. | ||
| They say it all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Balls. | |
| It says balls. | ||
| It means balls. | ||
| I think it means jizz. | ||
| Oh, jizz? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, not balls. | ||
| I've heard a bunch of different translations. | ||
| But to me, Nos Pohatu is the fighting vampire. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Draculino. | ||
| Draculino is a famous Baja Gracie black belt. | ||
| And Draculino, I guess he looks like Dracula or something. | ||
| So I call him Nos Pohatu. | ||
| He's the Brazilian vampire. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Am I not going to commentate? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to commentate. | ||
| I'm going to leave in half an hour. | ||
| We're chilling here in the hotel room, getting ready to go down there and commentate. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to commentate. | ||
| What do I think about Scientology? | ||
| I think it's awesome if you're gay and you want to cover it up. | ||
| They're really good at that shit. | ||
| It's all nonsense. | ||
| All religions are nonsense. | ||
| You know just as much as I know as far as what happens when you die. | ||
| No one knows. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I think religion is awesome if you do it right. | ||
| If you do it right, if you do the right thing and help your neighbors. | ||
| My grandma was hardcore Catholic. | ||
| And I wouldn't try to convince her, if she was still alive, to get out of that. | ||
| She was going to church every day praying. | ||
| And that praying is like meditating. | ||
| She was meditating. | ||
| So I think just having a healthy heart, some people can do kettlebells, some people can run on a treadmill, some people run stairs, some people do martial arts. | ||
| That's for a healthy heart. | ||
| It all works. | ||
| And I think religion, whether you're doing the Jesus or the Allah or the Buddha or meditation or yoga, it doesn't really matter. | ||
| As long as you get your frequency at the right spot with the universe, it doesn't matter if you do the Jesus thing. | ||
| You know, so I think that... | ||
| I think you're right, yeah. | ||
| I think whatever gets you in that right frequency, you could worship your iPhone if you actually believe that and you can meditate to your iPhone. | ||
| I think the universe don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're like, how are you gonna get to our frequency? | ||
| That's all that matters. | ||
| The real problem is people. | ||
| You know what it is? | ||
| It's the same thing when someone believes in something, even if they believe in something completely irrational, they want everyone else to believe in it too. | ||
| People love everyone else to be on their team. | ||
| That's why, like, if you ever talk to people that use Windows and they find out that you use Mac, and they're like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| You use Mac? | ||
| Mac's for faggots. | ||
| And they get crazy. | ||
| Like, they want you to use Windows. | ||
| It's like people want you to be Muslim. | ||
| They want you to be a Scientologist. | ||
| They want you to be a Catholic. | ||
| That's the real problem is that people want you to subscribe to their ideology. | ||
| But the idea behind it, being a better person and treating everybody as if they're yourself, that's the way to go. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| But the fucking handing out the basket and fucking kids and all that other shit that Involved in religion. | ||
| Fucking kids, I have to admit. | ||
| I'm not into that. | ||
| I'm against that. | ||
| I saw that Deliver Us From Evil that he recommended. | ||
| Dude, come on. | ||
| He recommended this documentary and you guys should check it out too. | ||
| It's called Deliver Us From Evil. | ||
| If you want to find out how fucked up the Catholic Church really is, oh my God, is this incredible. | ||
| You see the whole thing? | ||
| Yeah, well I couldn't watch the whole thing. | ||
| I watched about an hour and ten minutes into it. | ||
| I had to shut it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, did you get to the point where it turns out that guy's done like hundreds of kids? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I couldn't take it. | ||
| I wanted to kill him. | ||
| I mean, it's really a really sick, sick documentary about this priest who is responsible for molesting hundreds of kids. | ||
| And, you know, they covered it up. | ||
| They kept moving them. | ||
| They moved them all over the country. | ||
| And really, it's incredible. | ||
| And that's what's going on right now, that gigantic scandal that's happening right now with the Pope. | ||
| I mean, the Pope had knowledge of all this fucking shit that was going on. | ||
| There's so many pedophiles in the Catholic Church. | ||
| I bet they're all pedophiles. | ||
| I bet they're all pedophiles. | ||
| If they're not all, it's a giant percentage. | ||
| Because if it was just half of them or a quarter of them, they would be busting each other out. | ||
| There would be people coming forward saying, we gotta stop this shit. | ||
| They're all covering each other's asses. | ||
| I mean, think about it. | ||
| They chose a job where they can't get any pussy. | ||
| Well, the whole idea is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| That's gotta drive you insane. | ||
| And anybody who accepts a job where you can't get laid, you gotta be fucked up already. | ||
| You already got... | ||
| And I think my theory is that when these guys grow up gay, they're growing up in a religious home, and then once they find out they're gay, they realize, oh shit, maybe Satan is inside of me. | ||
| I got these gay feelings. | ||
| Oh my God, I gotta fight Satan. | ||
| So they become ultra-religious and ultra-Catholic. | ||
| And then they're trying to prove to God that they're going to fight the gay. | ||
| They're going to devote their life to God. | ||
| They become a priest. | ||
| And then, bam, they hold it together for the first few years. | ||
| And then they lose it. | ||
| Have you ever seen that video, God Hates Fags? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| The guy who's a gay guy who's singing about being Christian? | ||
| You've never seen that? | ||
| No, I'm going to find that shit on you. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I've got to get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I've got to leave, man. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| We don't have to leave for 20 minutes. | ||
| I've got a shower still. | ||
| Yeah, but the fights don't even start for more than an hour. | ||
| And I gotta get my hair did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, man. | |
| Your hair looks groovy. | ||
| You gotta check this out. | ||
| People don't get to see you on YouTube that much. | ||
| You know how long it takes to blow dry my hair? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much? | |
| You don't have to wash your hair, man. | ||
| 15 minutes, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| I gotta find this video because it's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's a dude who's a gay dude who's fighting against it. | ||
| And he says, Jesus is the only man for me. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's just genius. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| It's like those guys that Borat, or not Borat, Bruno fucks with. | ||
| Here's a God Hates a Fag song. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| This is a real song. | ||
| You have to see this because it's so goddamn genius. | ||
| I don't want this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's the guy? | |
| Here it is. | ||
| This is a real song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a real dude. | |
| Look at his mustache. | ||
| First of all, his mustache alone. | ||
| Hold on, let me put this up for you guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have to watch this. | |
| I just put it up on Twitter. | ||
| It's so genius. | ||
| Help me fight these demons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Is this real? | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's real! | |
| Look at this fucking mustache! | ||
| Not that that's proof that it's real. | ||
| This is a real fucking song, man. | ||
| This is a real Christian guy who's singing this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And there's another video of him discussing the concert. | |
| There's no back door. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| He's wearing a pink shirt. | ||
| If you could drop like a video so people can watch it too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We can do that, we have to figure it out. | ||
| Like on iChat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's fucking genius. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Come on, the world is way better than any comedy that you could write. | ||
| It's just not put together right. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's not edited. | |
| You gotta go find it. | ||
| You gotta go put all the parts together. | ||
|
unidentified
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But the world has way more comedy than anything you could ever make on your own. | |
| Look at this guy. | ||
|
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Look at this. | |
| Fill me with your love. | ||
| Help me fight these feelings. | ||
| Help me rise above. | ||
| Lord, help them heal. | ||
| this fucking mustache is killing me how horrible must it be to be a gay dude and be religious and to think that God hates you You could always be a priest. | ||
| If you haven't seen that video, you gotta watch it because it's completely ridiculous. | ||
| And, by the way, totally real. | ||
| You know, the fucking dude is a gay guy who converted to Christianity and he's like, you know, trying to tell people the right way to go. | ||
|
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Wow It's pretty awesome It's pretty awesome stuff. | |
| Where's your lighter? | ||
| Yeah, put it up in the air, bro. | ||
| Let's get lighter. | ||
| Do we watch Tim and Eric? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Tim and Eric rocks. | ||
| That's probably top three favorite shows. | ||
|
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That and Celebrity Rehab. | |
| That fucking thing, Dance Floor Dale. | ||
| If you haven't seen that, do a Google search for Dance Floor Dale. | ||
| It's got to be one of the funniest fucking videos I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| The weirdest, funniest things on the internet ever. | ||
| Dance Floor Dale. | ||
| You've got to see this. | ||
| You've got to find it. | ||
| Find it. | ||
| It's online. | ||
| It's on my website. | ||
| You can find it on JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Season 3 of Tim and Eric is the best because they keep having recurring sketches and they just get funnier and funnier the more... | ||
| The more developed... | ||
| Here's a good question for you. | ||
| What does Damian Maia and his jiu-jitsu bring to the table that Leitas didn't versus Silva? | ||
| Because Damian Maia is fighting Anderson Silva next month and Abu Dhabi next week, dude. | ||
| Abu Dhabi next week. | ||
| I think Damian Maia is a better guard puller than Talos Leitas. | ||
| Talos would pull guard, but he wouldn't clinch up first. | ||
| So, you know, Silva is not going to just fall in. | ||
| You've got to really shoot deep with an underhook, and you've got to make the guy sprawl. | ||
| And if he doesn't sprawl... | ||
| You know, because you didn't take a deep shot, you're not going to pull him into your guard. | ||
| And Damien Maia likes to shoot deep and pull guard. | ||
| I think that'll be the difference. | ||
| There's no way he's going to stand with Anderson Silva, you know, just based on, not just based on Anderson Silva's career and what he's done, but based on his last fight where he tried to stand for a little bit with Nate Marquardt and he, He's going to pull guard immediately, trust me. | ||
| He's not going to fuck around anymore with that shit. | ||
| I hope that's true, but I didn't think he was going to try to stand with Nate either. | ||
| Well, he stood with him for one punch, and that was just one punch too long. | ||
| Do you think that he's training with Vanderlei, and Vanderlei is a known brawler. | ||
| Do you think that style of getting in there and just mixing it up and getting ugly, that's not a good style for a guy who's not very technically proficient at striking? | ||
| You know, he's just so good on the ground. | ||
| Why give your opponent any kind of chance standing, especially Anderson Silva? | ||
| Are you going to try to mix it up a little bit with him? | ||
| That's a big fucking mistake. | ||
| He's going to pull guard immediately, trust me. | ||
| Or try to take him down because Anderson Silva isn't some NCAA national champion or anything. | ||
| So I'm sure Damian Maia is really going to take a shot for real and for real try to take him down. | ||
| But if he has any trouble, he will pull guard. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| I guarantee that. | ||
| Yeah, we've definitely seen Anderson been taken down before, you know, He got taken down many times by... | ||
| Travis Luter. | ||
| You know, Travis Luter probably had the most success. | ||
| But you gotta think about that fight. | ||
| Travis Luter fought Anderson 11 weeks after Anderson had knee surgery on both knees. | ||
| So that probably wasn't the best representation of his wrestling. | ||
| Then Dan Henderson took him down as well. | ||
| And when Dan Henderson took him down, he wasn't able to do anything to him. | ||
| He just kind of like held him down on the ground, punched him a few times, but really couldn't get anything going. | ||
| So that's the big question. | ||
| Is Anderson's jiu-jitsu good enough to stifle Damian Maia? | ||
| Because Damian Maia had a hard time with Dan Miller in his last fight. | ||
| Really couldn't get anything going with him. | ||
| I mean, he ground and pounded him, and he beat him by decision, but never came close to finishing him with a submission. | ||
| No. | ||
| And I think Dan Miller is a real good, real tough guy, but I think Anderson's jiu-jitsu is at least as good as Miller's. | ||
| I mean, on paper at least, he's a black belt and Miller's a brown belt. | ||
| But... | ||
| Miller wrestled his whole life. | ||
| There's a big difference. | ||
| That's a different kind of animal when you're grappling with a real legit wrestler. | ||
| Anderson Silva has long limbs. | ||
| I like going with guys that have long arms. | ||
| Rubber guard's a lot easier with taller guys. | ||
| It's harder for them to pull out of anything. | ||
| They have long arms. | ||
| Like the small, 145, short, 5'5", stocky wrestler types. | ||
| It's hard to get any rubber guard on because they pop their arms out so easily. | ||
| They're really small. | ||
| So I think Damon Maia is going to have more success with his jiu-jitsu with Anderson Silva, if he gets him to the ground, than he did with Miller. | ||
| Because Miller, again, he's only a brown belt, but damn, he wrestled his whole life. | ||
| That's a different kind of animal right there. | ||
| He's a chimpanzee. | ||
| The other thing about Anderson is that Anderson has had elbow problems for years. | ||
| He's had bone chunks floating around his elbow that made training really difficult. | ||
| He would have to ice his elbows after training. | ||
| Sometimes he couldn't do any weightlifting, any strength and conditioning because his elbows hurt. | ||
| He finally got all that shit fixed. | ||
| He got the elbow chunks, the pieces of bone taken out. | ||
| So we're going to see an Anderson Silva that's in a better condition than we've seen him in a long, long time. | ||
| He's had a problem throwing his right hand because of it, which is really hard to believe when you see his fights. | ||
| Big Country Nelson went tonight by Fat Mission. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Let me tell you something, man. | ||
| Fat, a big guy like Roy Nelson, that weight centralized in his stomach, he knows how to hold you with that shit. | ||
| That can keep you in a certain position. | ||
| He's really good at keeping his weight on you. | ||
| We have a dude that we train with, Brent. | ||
| Brent gets you in side control, man. | ||
| That motherfucker is really hard to get off you. | ||
| And he's built similar to Big Country. | ||
| Not as fat, but he's got a big gut. | ||
| And he's talented as well. | ||
| He's a good jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
| And when he gets on top of you and he gets a good position on you, it's really hard to shake him off you. | ||
| He plants that weight down on you and holds you in place. | ||
| Big Country. | ||
| If I had to guess what's going to happen tonight with Struve, I would say that Big Country, if he gets him down the ground, Struve's going to be in a lot of trouble. | ||
|
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All right. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But Struve has a lot of potential. | ||
| He might be the underdog in this fight. | ||
| He probably should be, based on his experience. | ||
| And he's really young. | ||
| And Country's been grappling for a long time. | ||
| He's really good on the ground. | ||
| People haven't really seen that. | ||
| He likes to stand and beg. | ||
| Country Nelson's really good on the ground. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| I mean, he beat Frank Mir, was it like 11 to nothing in a submission match? | ||
| Yeah, he's got a great half guard game too. | ||
| We just haven't really seen it. | ||
| But Struve, in the long run, has so much potential. | ||
|
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I mean, that guy, he's like 6'8 or something like that. | |
| He's super tall and And he loves jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You never see that. | ||
| You never see tall guys like that who are athletic and coordinated, love jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I mean, we've seen Sammy Shield. | ||
| He didn't like jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I don't know what other tall guy, but Kendall Grove, that's another tall guy who likes jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But it's true if he continues to evolve and remains a student of the game in everything, of course, striking and wrestling as well. | ||
| In jiu-jitsu, the way he's moving, and we've talked several times about jiu-jitsu and strategy and philosophies and stuff. | ||
|
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And he's on the right track. | |
| I don't know if he can be country at this point in his career. | ||
| Maybe, maybe not. | ||
| But give that guy another five, six, seven years. | ||
| If he continues to evolve, he can be a serious threat with that height. | ||
| His guard could be insane. | ||
| Yeah, no kidding. | ||
| If he decided to be a ninja off his back, fuck. | ||
| He's only 22. That's the other thing about that kid. | ||
| He's real young. | ||
| He's got a massive, massive amount of time ahead of him, you know, and a lot of potential, and he's got crazy heart. | ||
| Remember in Germany when he got cut wide open, was bleeding all over the place? | ||
| Who did he fight in that fight? | ||
| Fuck, I don't remember. | ||
|
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I don't remember. | |
| He got in trouble. | ||
| He got cut real bad, and he still pulled it out and wound up submitting the dude, so it was pretty badass. | ||
| Do another Ustream tonight? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe we will if we get back to the hotel. | ||
| It'll be late here, and I don't go to bed until late on the West Coast, so it'll be early for me. | ||
| So yeah, we could do that. | ||
| We could come after the after-party and do it non-sober. | ||
| This is a sober version of the Ustream because I gotta go do the broadcasting right now. | ||
| Gomi or Ken Flo? | ||
| Who the fuck knows, son? | ||
| That's why they gotta do it. | ||
| I think it's exciting having Gomi over here. | ||
| I would've liked to see him over here years ago, but... | ||
| You know, he's still young and he's got a lot to prove, you know, and I think he's training real hard. | ||
| He looked in real good shape and he's saying all the right things that he wants to really make another run and get another run at B.J. Penn. | ||
| And he's obviously got to get through Kenny to do that, so I think it's going to be real interesting. | ||
| He's a solid wrestler and he's a big power puncher. | ||
| You know, he hits hard. | ||
| So I think Kenny's going to try to use his legs. | ||
| Kenny's got real good leg kicks, real good movement. | ||
| He's going to try to use his footwork, work him with leg kicks, and then if he goes to the ground, he'll try to submit him and cut him up with elbows. | ||
| The thing about Gomi is Gomi has not fought anybody ever with the elbow rules. | ||
| You know, elbows are different, man, especially the cage. | ||
| You know, cage and elbows, you know, those are two totally different things that he's never experienced before. | ||
| So it's going to be interesting. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| And Kenny, man, he gets better every time. | ||
| I gotta get out of here, guys. | ||
| I gotta get ready. | ||
| Gotta jump in the shower. | ||
| The show's gonna start in an hour. | ||
| We gotta leave in 10 minutes. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I'll do this again. | ||
| Yeah, come over to my house. | ||
| We'll do a full version. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Alright, you wanna leave with us? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm gonna just take my own car. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
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I'm gonna be right. | |
| You got the rental? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
| I'll be cool. | ||
| I'll see you there, man. | ||
| We'll see you in 10 minutes. | ||
| First flight to 5.15 or something? | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 5.15. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's 4.05 right now. | ||
|
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Ladies and gentlemen, finally we're alone. | |
| So, uh, that's the story. | ||
| I gotta leave in ten minutes, so I should get my shit going. | ||
| Yeah, I wanted to do just a little show because I couldn't do one last week because I had a staph infection that I had to deal with so I didn't fucking die. | ||
| That's the problem with jiu-jitsu, man. | ||
| You know, you roll with dirty motherfuckers and you get weird skin shit, you know? | ||
| Weird diseases. | ||
| I know a dude who got herpes on his head. | ||
|
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What? | |
| Yeah, you can get herpes from jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| The deal with me getting a serious radio show. | ||
| I'm going to do a weekly show. | ||
| I think I'm going to do like a six-week run, a trial run. | ||
| And it's all dependent on my scheduling because I just signed a deal to write a book. | ||
| I've been writing it for a while, but we've been negotiating about a deal and we finally got the right deal. | ||
| I was in New York last week and I met with the publishers. | ||
| They came out to see me when I performed at Gotham. | ||
| So I got a nice deal and I'm getting ready. | ||
| And the deal is that I have to finish the book by August. | ||
| So I'm going to be guns blazing. | ||
| Trying to write this thing and finish it. | ||
| Most of the stories, it's going to be mostly about the beginning days of doing stand-up because I have so many crazy stories about bad road gigs and just struggling on the road and what it's like to be really an amateur comedian trying to go out there and get people to laugh for money and how fucking crazy it is and how unsure it is and how you really have no idea if it's ever going to work out and you feel It's completely insecure. | ||
| You feel like there's no way this is ever going to really turn out to be a career and how nutty some of the fucking gigs I've done were. | ||
| Why wasn't you at weigh-ins yesterday? | ||
| I don't even think I'm going to answer that because it's so retardedly written. | ||
| But if somebody else asks it, I'll answer it. | ||
| I wasn't at the weigh-ins because I didn't get in in time. | ||
| My flight didn't land until 4 o'clock, so they had Goldberg do the weigh-ins. | ||
| And then I had my show last night. | ||
| You know, because we were in New York, and then I flew back from New York Sunday. | ||
| I had Monday to stay home with my family, and then Tuesday flew out again. | ||
| So unless I'd stayed here in Charlotte, there was no way really I was going to be able to get to the weigh-ins. | ||
| It's too much traveling. | ||
| I need to be home at least a couple days a week, otherwise I go nutty. | ||
| When you have babies, man, you just can't wait to go home and see them. | ||
| How's Hardy's arm? | ||
| Hardy's fine. | ||
| Hardy doesn't have any problems. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with him. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| His shoulder, his arms. | ||
| I think George St. Pierre didn't quite have the arm bar right. | ||
| But the Kimura, there was one point in time in the Kimura, I thought it was just going to rip off. | ||
| I mean, it looked pretty bad. | ||
| Bring back some chicks from the after party at least. | ||
| No, I can't do that anymore. | ||
| I made babies and I made a wife and all that shit. | ||
| Am I doing a show with Aziz and Zari? | ||
| I don't know him, but I think he's on that show. | ||
| The Kevin and Bean show that I'm doing this weekend. | ||
| April Foolishness. | ||
| I think it's either Friday or Saturday night. | ||
| One of those. | ||
| I'm not sure which. | ||
| I'll tell you right now. | ||
|
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I think it's Saturday. | |
| Yeah, Saturday. | ||
| It's at the Gibson Amphitheater in Universal, and I'm pretty sure it's way sold out. | ||
| Those guys always sell out their shows. | ||
| It's a really good lineup, too. | ||
| A lot of funny comedians. | ||
| I did it last year with Patton Oswalt did it, Ray Romano. | ||
| Ray Romano, Patton Oswalt, Jeff Ross, a bunch of good guys. | ||
| I know Jeff's on it again this year. | ||
| I think Jay Moore's on it again this year, too. | ||
| Is Ariane hot or what? | ||
| She's hot if you're not gay. | ||
| If you're gay, she's probably not hot. | ||
| The buffer 360 tonight? | ||
| I think he said he would never do that again. | ||
| I think he said the buffer 360 is going to retire. | ||
| He's going to put that shit in the books. | ||
| It's over, son. | ||
| What do I think about crop circles? | ||
| I think they're incredible geometric patterns. | ||
| Whether or not humans made them, who the fuck knows? | ||
| There's a lot of people that argue that it's impossible for people to make them, that they're three times the size of a football field and they appear overnight and they're in perfect geometric patterns and circles and everything. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's very intriguing. | ||
| At the very least, some of them are fascinating because they're so fucking huge. | ||
| If people really are making these things and they're flattening them out and just leaving them there, it's like, wow, it's such incredible geometric art. | ||
| You would think that they would want to take credit for that. | ||
| If it's just a hoax, it's incredible that it's a hoax that they've kept up for this long. | ||
| How sneaky are they? | ||
| And what's the benefit of that? | ||
| What's the reward? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I don't have an opinion one way or another, though. | ||
| I think it's also possible that it could be some sort of an experiment that they do to impose geometric patterns in these fields. | ||
| It might be something that they do from the sky or something like that. | ||
| Who the fuck knows how they're doing it? | ||
| If you talk to some people that say that these patterns, the way they're made, that the nodes of these plants have been blown out like they've had energy pulsed through them like microwaves, like expanded. | ||
| I don't know though. | ||
| I really personally have not done enough research and really paid attention to both sides of the argument. | ||
| I know one side of the argument is that it's bullshit and the other side of the argument is that it's aliens. | ||
| Both of them seem pretty ridiculous, so I'm not exactly sure. | ||
| When I think about that shit. | ||
| So, what did I think about the Luke Stewart-Andre Galvaal fight? | ||
| I thought that fight was really interesting. | ||
| I was blown away by that Luke Stewart guy. | ||
| That guy has incredible sweeps, man. | ||
| He's relentless. | ||
| I thought he won the fight. | ||
| I thought he beat him with stand-up, and I thought his ground game negated Galvaal's ground game, and he swept him a bunch of times, and I thought he edged him. | ||
| I thought it was a real close fight, but I thought Stewart edged him. | ||
| But man, he blew me away. | ||
| Luke Stewart is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| And I'm really looking forward to his next fight. | ||
| That was really, really impressive. | ||
| UFC 115 in Cincinnati. | ||
| They say that might be possible if the Vancouver thing falls through. | ||
| I don't know if that's fallen through or not. | ||
| I haven't heard it directly from the horse's mouth. | ||
| So when I hear it, I'll find out. | ||
| Any more documentaries like The Union coming out? | ||
| Yeah, I did a documentary on DMT. It's called DMT The Spirit Molecule and it should be done in May and probably out for release sometime around the summer. | ||
| I know they're taking it to film festivals and they're bringing it all over the place, but it's a documentary mostly about different people's experiences on DMT and I am the narrator. | ||
| Do I know who Bob Lazar is? | ||
| Yeah, Bob Lazar is a guy who claims to have worked for Area 51 and You know, he's kind of been discredited with a lot of things, especially like his education. | ||
| I guess he kind of like told some lies about where he went to school and what his degrees are in, but very, very intelligent guy. | ||
| And he obviously knew a lot about that area, about Area 51, whether or not he really did have any contact with UFOs or with alien spacecraft or any of that stuff. | ||
| I mean, It could be total 100% horseshit, or it could be true. | ||
| It's really hard to tell. | ||
| But when a guy lies about his education, lies about certain aspects of his background, you've got to assume that he's probably lied about other things as well. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Again, I don't really have an opinion either way. | ||
| Interesting to watch him talk though. | ||
| He's very confident. | ||
| He's very confident, which could mean either A, he's crazy, and that's why he's confident, or B, he's telling the truth. | ||
| Alright, I gotta get the fuck out of here because the car is picking me up in two minutes. | ||
| I just wanted to bust out a nice quick one right here for you guys and say what's up. | ||
| So, thank you everybody for tuning in and we'll do one probably this weekend. | ||
| I'll have Eddie come over to my house and we'll do like a full long ass one. | ||
| Maybe Friday. | ||
| And that's it, my friends. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Enjoy the fights tonight. | ||
| They're live on Spike TV tonight. | ||
| There's, I don't know what time it comes on, but it's right before the Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| So it's fight night. | ||
| Kenny Florian versus Gomi is the headliner. | ||
| It's going to be a 6-6 fight. | ||
| And Ross Pearson's on the card, too, against Dennis Seaver. | ||
| Looking forward to that, too. | ||
| Alright my friends, thank you very much for tuning into this thing again and I will be back next week with a real solid podcast and maybe we'll even do one this weekend with Eddie Bravo at my house. | ||
| So thank you very much and I'll see you guys soon. |
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