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March 20, 2010 - The Joe Rogan Experience

01:38:31

Joe Rogan Experience #12 - Joe Rogan

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joe rogan

01:34:07

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josh olin

00:01

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Speaker	Time	Text
unidentified		Y'all thought this was over with?
unidentified		This ain't over with.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Alright, we're live.
		We live?
		Just shit working?
		Bam!
		Can we hear each other?
unidentified		Let me make sure I shut myself off.
		So I don't hear me.
		And...
		Bam!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Hello.
		Welcome to my weekly podcast on solo.
		Let me shut the door so nobody interrupts us.
unidentified		Shazam!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I'm back.
		Riding totally 100% solo this time.
		Here to answer your questions, talk to you, see what the fuck's going on out there in the wild world of Twitter.
		Thank you everybody that tuned in to the show we did yesterday on Sirius.
		I did a show for an hour yesterday on Raw Dog, and I'm going to try to do that more often because it's fun.
		It's fun just to do, even for a goof, but it's a great way to promote gigs and You know, get things cracking.
		Not this weekend, as in tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday, but next weekend, next Friday, I'm not exactly sure the date, I'll be at Gotham.
		I think it's the 26th.
		What's today's date?
unidentified		Seven days.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, the 26th.
		The 26th, I'll be at Gotham for two shows in New York City.
		I don't get to New York City very often.
		I only go there like once every year and a half, two years.
		And it's already almost sold out.
		So if you want to get tickets, you've got to hop on that shit now.
		Gotham Comedy Club in New York City.
		You know how to use the Google, son!
		I would throw up links, but if you really want to go, you'll figure it out, right?
		So, get Eddie on my podcast.
		I will definitely.
		Brian was supposed to be...
		My lips are very shiny today.
		Brian was supposed to be here today for this one, but he got held in traffic.
		He's getting boned by the IRS. He owes him back taxes.
		Pay your taxes, bitches!
		That's Uncle Joe's advice for the day.
		Pay your fucking taxes.
		The worst thing is when the IRS signals you out.
		Singles you out as a guy who's not paying taxes and then they just crawl up your asshole and look around.
		The tax laws are so gross.
		The whole thing is so gross.
		The idea that you have to pay such a giant percentage of what you make to do what?
		To keep more people arresting people for buying pot?
		To do what?
		To fix the streets?
		Where the fuck is the money going?
		God damn it.
		Our machine is just too god damn big.
		When you get to a certain amount of money, you get into a 48% tax bracket.
		You have to pay half of what you make.
		Half.
		Literally.
		That's crazy.
		The crazy thing is the people who make the more money, the more money you make rather, the higher percentage you have to pay.
		So not only do you pay more money just because you make more money, which seems, that seems rational to me, but the fact that you pay a higher percent, that's just like saying, listen, we know you got it, fuck you, give us the money.
		I mean, it's really that simple.
		It doesn't make any sense that someone who makes more money Somehow or another uses a higher percentage of resources?
		That's completely unfair.
		It makes no sense, but people just accept it.
		They just accept it, and they just take it in the ass, and the machine keeps rolling on.
		There will be no end.
		I will there.
		We'll go to, first, the Twitter to check it out.
		The Twitter feed that is on the Ustream page, which is ustream.tv channel slash joe-rogan-live.
		That's where you're at.
		And then I'll also go to forums.joe-rogan.net.
		That's my website.
		And there's a forum up there dedicated to this particular, or rather a thread dedicated to this particular broadcast.
		And so I'll answer some questions from there too, you motherfucker.
		Pull out of Iran, Afghan, and you'd save a fortune.
		What is that?
		That's a simple way of looking at it, right?
		CMC Dermo 73. That's a simple way of looking at it.
		Everybody says pull out, but why the fuck are we there in the first place?
		What is going on?
		Is it as simple as...
		You know, we're over there because we need to keep these terrorists from becoming strong.
		We need to go and attack them at their base.
		Okay, if that was what was agreed, that that's the reason why we're there, but there's a lot of people that say that doesn't make any sense.
		There's a lot of people that say there's very few Taliban that are actually left in Afghanistan, that we have other motives, and that these motives might be the natural gas pipeline that runs through Afghanistan, which everybody apparently has been trying to control for years, or Also very overlooked and a subject that people like, they kind of poo-poo it and they make it seem like it's not that big a deal, is the opium market.
		Afghanistan produces some 90-something percent of the entire world's opium.
		The entire world's poppy seeds, the entire world's heroin, more than 90% of it is produced in Afghanistan.
		That's fucking crazy, right?
	You hear about that, you're like, there's a lot of goddamn money in heroin.
	There's a lot of goddamn money in opium.
	I mean, if all of it is being produced, literally, almost all of it, in this one place, like, someone's making some fucking money off that.
	It's not like the U.S. got in there and they stopped making heroin.
	No, there's more heroin now.
	Heroin, apparently, you talk to people who know, I know people who do heroin and they say there's more heroin and it's easier to get now.
	What the fuck, man?
	What is really going on?
	Then you find out that the president of Afghanistan, this is absolute fact, president of Afghanistan, his brother, It was being paid by the CIA for years.
	Like, our government dollars were going to pay the brother of the president of Afghanistan who's in the poppy business.
	This guy is involved in the opium trade.
	This guy is involved in the heroin trade.
	And he's an employee of the CIA. Like, really?
	Is it that blatant?
	Is it that obvious?
	There's, for sure, there's a ton of fucking corruption when it comes to the higher levels of government.
	But are they really selling drugs?
	Are they really doing it that openly?
	It seems ridiculous, right?
	It seems like there's no way that could be possible.
	There's no way it could be that corrupt.
	If it was, we would have heard about it.
	But when you start researching the history of the CIA, like, they've been accused of doing this forever.
	Not just accused of doing this by people who don't make any sense, like crazy people and, you know...
	Internet conspiracy theorists, but no, they've been accused of doing it by people who used to work for the CIA. They've been accused of doing it by people who have actually just flown in the drugs.
	There's a great case about a guy named Barry Seals from Mena, Arkansas.
	This guy used to fly into Mena, Arkansas and drop off big packages of cocaine.
	I think we talked about this before.
	And anyway, these two kids inadvertently were there when the cocaine got dropped.
	They witnessed what had happened.
	So they took these kids and they murdered them and they left their bodies on the train tracks.
	And the official excuse that the police used was that these kids had gotten high.
	And that they had fallen asleep on the plane tracks because they were on drugs.
	Well, the mothers of the kids forced autopsies.
	The parents forced autopsies.
	They didn't want to do autopsies, but they forced them.
	They got them done, and it turns out that these kids had been murdered.
	They had been stabbed multiple times before they had been put on these train tracks.
	So then the investigation goes further, and it turns out this guy named Barry Seals, who's a CIA employee, and there's, you know, documented.
	This guy's got a great, long history with the CIA. There's, you know, tons of pictures.
	There's tons of, you know, documentation on this guy.
	And this guy was flying in drugs from South America.
	And that's what he did.
	He did it for the CIA. And right when he was about to go testify, the guy gets murdered.
	He gets assassinated with George Bush's phone number in his pocket.
	So there's that guy.
	There's another guy named Michael Rupert.
	Michael Rupert has a website now and he's got a bunch of books on the whole situation.
	But his story is that he was working for the LAPD. I'm not sure if he worked in narcotics, but he was involved somehow or another in some narcotics case.
	And it turns out that the CIA was involved, and the CIA was protecting these people, and the CIA was selling drugs.
	And he went to try to report it, they squashed everything, and he just went public with everything.
	And it's, you know, he gets very little attention.
	I mean, it's really shocking how little attention he gets.
	But he's a fascinating dude, this Michael Rupert guy.
	He's got a couple really fascinating books.
	I think The End of the Rubicon is one, and That's the one I've read.
	He's got a few other ones, but basically going into great depth and detail, all of his research on the CIA and their involvement in drugs.
	Why?
	Why would they do that?
	Why would our government do that?
	There's a lot of goddamn money in it.
	I think they could justify that there's so much money Involved in drugs and someone's gonna make that money people are addicted to drugs like why don't we make that money and at least that money is being made by the good guys I mean that's like the most idealistic point of view make sure your kids don't do drugs make sure no one you love does drugs but let's be honest there are people out there that are gonna do drugs and if anybody should make the money it should be the good guys I can see people falling for that but the bottom line is It's all greed.
	It's all nasty, evil greed.
	That's the whole reason why some drugs are legal and some drugs are illegal.
	It's because when they make them illegal, they can control what you do.
	You can't control things that are really easy to grow like marijuana.
	It's one of the main reasons why marijuana is illegal.
	It's because it's so goddamn easy to grow.
	You can just plant seeds out in a field.
	It'll grow on its own.
	You don't even need to help it.
	I mean, it's a really hardy plant.
	And I know a lot of morons that grow pot.
	And when it's an easy thing to do like that, you can't control that.
	They're not going to be able to control it.
	There's going to be people selling it left and right.
	They're not going to get taxes from that because people are just going to exchange cash or whatever the fuck they're going to do with it.
	You're not going to be able to wrap something up the way that you can wrap up Oxycontins or something like that.
	It's very difficult to produce an Oxycontin.
	You know, they like that.
	They don't like heroin.
	Heroin is just like, what are you doing?
	You're growing a plant and then you're scraping some shit off the plant and you're selling it?
unidentified		No!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Stop!
		That's illegal.
		We won't let you do that.
		But we will let you buy these pills that are basically the same goddamn thing.
		They're just made by a pharmaceutical company and they process it.
		And they make this orally ingestible heroin.
		And that's what OxyContin is.
		I mean, it literally, they call it hillbilly heroin.
		It's fucking heroin.
		It really is heroin.
		You're just eating it.
		You know, you're eating it in a pill form.
		Just like Marinol is THC in a pill form.
		But that stuff's supposed to suck.
		I've talked to people and say that, first of all, THC is only one active element in marijuana.
		There's a whole bunch of them.
		It's way better to get the actual stuff from the plant.
		You know, I don't know if that's true with heroin.
		I've never done heroin.
		I've never done Marinol either.
		I wouldn't do heroin.
		I'm scared of anything that's addictive.
		But if I was a musician, I might consider it.
		I might snort a little every now and then.
		Write down once today and never again or something.
		Try to convince myself that somehow or another I wouldn't be addicted.
		I don't know how addictive it really is.
		I hear varying reports.
		The problem I have whenever someone talks about things being addictive and not being addictive is that alcohol is addictive.
		People get addicted to alcohol, but I'm not addicted to it, so I don't get that.
		I mean, I could...
		If someone told me right now I could never have another beer or another glass of wine for the rest of my life, I'd be like, okay.
		I mean, I enjoy it.
		I like having a shot every now and then with my friends just to get fucking crazy.
		A shot before a show is fun.
		But realistically, it's not that important.
		I don't need it.
		It's not really addictive to me.
		But to some people, it is.
		Okay, is that the case with heroin?
		Is that the case with...
		Cigarettes seem to be the one they've got the most wired.
		Cigarettes seem to be the one they can addict the most people to.
		Because there's a lot of people that don't get addicted to the normal stuff.
		There's a lot of people that drink coffee and they drink it all the time, but they can just quit and it doesn't bother them at all.
		And there's some people that if they don't have coffee every day, they're fucked.
		Those people are addicted to caffeine.
		When I was writing my blog, I was writing a monthly blog right before I recorded my Spike TV comedy special.
		I wanted to make sure I kept my brain real sharp.
		And I said, well, the best way to do that is to perform as much as I can, but also write as much as I can.
		So I forced myself into writing a blog every day for a whole month.
		And when I did that, you know, I was drinking a lot of coffee.
		And I was drinking French press coffee, where it's like, it's really fucking strong.
		You know?
		And I make it strong, too.
		I like it.
		I like a strong cup of coffee.
		But the problem is, I was drinking this shit like two, three cups a day, and then I did it like 30 days in a row.
		And there was one point in time where I didn't drink it for a day, and I had a headache.
		And it was like a...
		Like my brain was getting accustomed to having all these stimulants in it.
		And then I realized, okay, this is not good.
		I gotta stop that shit.
		Lately I've been drinking tea.
	Brian turned me out to this thing.
	This is like this...
	You put the tea leaves in there and then you put the water in there.
	You don't have to have a tea bag.
	You can get fresh tea leaves.
	It tastes good.
	Sometimes I need something warm to drink.
	It's like, it's just like, my friend Tate, he says it best.
	He said, coffee's like a warm hug.
	But I got addicted to coffee.
	But, I mean, I was only addicted for like a couple days.
	A couple days of not drinking it, just drinking water and everything was back to normal again, luckily.
	But this was 30 days in a row, not 30 years in a row.
	You know, I couldn't imagine that.
	But cigarettes seem to be the one that they've got the most nailed as to how to just get you fucking hooked.
	You know, there's an article that I read recently where they were discussing all the different additives that the government allows them to put into cigarettes.
	And there's 599 of them.
	How fucking nuts is that?
	There's 599 different chemicals.
	And you look at them, unless you're some sort of a pharma chemist sort of a character, you're not going to have any idea what the fuck they are.
	And there's 599 of them in cigarettes.
	Aren't cigarettes just supposed to be fucking tobacco?
	Like, what the fuck is going on?
	What is that?
	I mean, are they preservatives?
	Is it like that Russell Crowe movie, The Insider?
	Is all that shit actually designed to make it more addictive?
	It's one of the most damning things I think about politicians is that they never talk about cigarettes.
	They always want to talk about the bad drugs out there and the terrible things that can happen if your kids get involved in drugs.
	But nobody wants to ban cigarettes.
	Nobody ever says that.
	And it's because those fucking tobacco companies spend a bankroll.
	They spend a fuckload of money.
unidentified		Alright.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		What else?
		Let me go to the questions here.
		There's a lot of questions and they keep moving fast.
		And I'm a rambling motherfucker.
		Joe, wear a different color shirt in the UFC broadcast next time.
		No.
		No.
		I like wearing black shirts.
		And I get them for free.
		I get clothes from Affliction for free.
		They send me some cool shit so that I don't make fun of them anymore.
		I like their stuff.
		I like some of their stuff.
		There was some scully stuff that was just a little too scully and flamey for me.
		But I got a pair of their dragon jeans.
		They got dope leather jackets too.
		And I like their Japanese styled stuff.
		They had all that...
		I forget the man's name.
		A tattoo artist designed a bunch of t-shirts for them that were really fucking cool.
		Like right up my alley.
		Like tiger versus samurai type stuff.
		I got a bunch of those.
		I love those.
		But apparently that guy...
		He was selling his same designs to a couple different t-shirt companies and they had to get rid of him because it's some sort of a copyright lawsuit thing going on.
		Affliction Crows are fucking brutal.
		Ed Hardy is the most brutal to me.
		Ed Hardy should assassinate John from Johnny K Plus 8 because that guy single-handedly made Ed Hardy shirts.
		That is just like, that's the gold stamp.
unidentified		Bang!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Douchebag.
		When that guy started wearing it everywhere, I think Ed Hardy was probably paying him But little did they know that that just put the fucking, the douche label on the Ed Hardy.
		There's a chick that's one of the morning DJs in Denver.
		Her name's Missy.
unidentified		And she calls them douche capes.
		Which is the perfect way to describe them.
		douche capes Glad you guys liked the Raw Dog Show.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		That was fun.
		That was real fun.
		Am I coming to Australia anytime again soon?
		I'll be in Australia next time the UFC's gonna be there.
		I really can't fly over there just to fly over there.
		I don't have the time.
		It's too long.
		16 fucking hours in the air.
		I enjoyed the shit out of it though.
		I had a great goddamn time.
		That strongest man dude that's going to fight Tim Sylvia?
		Aaron Davies asked me a question.
		There's this guy, Pujanowski, who's like one of the, he won strongman competition like many times.
		And he's scheduled to fight Tim Sylvia, who's a former UFC heavyweight champion.
		I'm looking at that fight and everybody's like going, oh I want to see this fight, this is a great fight, this is a great fight.
		Tim Sylvia can fight.
		Like, just because Ray Merchant knocked him out, just because, like, he's lost to a couple different guys like Fedor, there's a big goddamn difference between losing to Fedor and losing to a guy who's had one fight and is really good at lifting shit.
		That guy's going to get his ass handed to him.
		If Tim Sylvia loses that fight, there's something wrong.
		He's got something wrong with him and he probably shouldn't fight anymore.
		I think Tim Sylvia should be able to keep that dude at bay.
		I mean, all he is is big and strong.
		I mean, I just cannot see a world where Tim Sylvia doesn't bomb on that guy as he's coming in, you know?
		I mean, I could be wrong.
		He could just get completely overwhelmed by the power, but technique is more important than power in fighting.
		And if one guy...
		You can hate on Tim Sylvia all you want.
		The guy was the UFC heavyweight champion.
		And he wasn't because he sucked.
		Go watch his fight with Rico Rodriguez.
		Watch some of his fights.
		Watch when he head kicked Trey Tellingman.
		He's fucking dangerous, man.
		Tim Sylvia is one of the most underrated and underlooked guys.
		Yeah, he got knocked out by Ray Mercer.
		But guess what?
		Ray Mercer connects on your head like that.
		Everyone's going out.
		He definitely fucked up.
		And he definitely didn't fight smart in that fight.
		Without a doubt.
		but you can't write him off just because of one performance.
		He's still accomplished a lot of dangerous shit.
		He's always been a sucker for that overhand right.
		That's what, I shouldn't say a sucker, but he's gotten hit with it before.
		Randy Couture dropped him with it.
		That's what Arlovsky hit him with, and that's also obviously what Ray Mercer hit him with.
		He's got a lazy jab, they say.
		But I think that Pudinowski guy is like, wow, you're jumping into the deep end of the pool, son.
		Tim Sylvia's not that old.
		Tim Sylvia has had some tough fights, but not that much.
		No, I think that's going to be a real tough fight for that Pusinowski guy.
		I could be wrong.
		I could be wrong.
		He might do those running fucking leg kicks like he did to that other dude, where he just basically ran at him like a bull.
		But that other guy, comparing him to Tim Sylvia is just ridiculous.
		He's smaller.
		He's not nearly as experienced.
		He's just a boxer.
		I mean, there's so many differences between...
		The first guy he fought and fighting the UFC heavyweight champ.
		That's fucking, that's pretty crazy.
		He might not even get to him because he's got to fight in between then.
		He's got to fight before that.
	I think in April he's fighting someone else and then he's going to fight Tim Sillia right after that.
	He might not beat that guy that he's fighting in April.
	I mean, if a guy knows how to fight, it's just a big goddamn difference between a guy that's just strong.
	He's going to leave openings, man.
	If he leaves openings, someone's going to catch him.
	And if someone's going to catch him, he can't put muscles in your face.
	I don't know exactly what kind of a background he has in fighting other than being super strong.
	Didn't look like much.
	He looked real stiff.
	Once he hits you, if he gets a hold of you and starts hitting you, you're fucked.
	But it's all that before he gets a hold of you stuff.
	It's all herky-jerky, all muscle, no technique.
	I think it's going to be interesting.
	But when a guy's that strong, all that has to do is learn a few techniques, get him really good, and fuck.
	You're talking about a guy that literally is one of the strongest men to walk the planet.
	If you could teach that guy...
	Teach that guy some solid wrestling.
	Teach that guy just a good mount.
	Just a few moves.
	Just teach them how to keep his hands up, close the distance, teach them some takedowns, and teach them to get on top of dudes and just smush their fucking head.
	A guy like that, if you taught him some shit, he would only need a few things just because he's so goddamn strong.
	A few things he would be able to beat a lot of guys.
	But Tim Sylvia?
	Ooh, I don't know about that son!
	I don't know about that son!
	Let's see what else we got here.
	I watched a video today of a dude who cut his fucking balls off.
	Somebody posted it on my message board.
	This guy, it says something, crazy Aussie man, or deranged Aussie man, that's the thread, cuts his balls off.
	This guy tied a rubber band around his balls until his balls, like, literally died.
	Like, they turned, like, dead and gray.
	And then he hacked his balls off with a knife.
	Really?
	Do you want to see it?
	If you want to see it, you know what, I'll throw the link.
	I'll just let everybody know that it's fucking completely disgusting.
	There's no way you should really be watching this.
	But if you want to, I will copy the link.
	And I'm going to post it on Twitter.
	And I'm going to say do not wash this.
unidentified		I'm going to say do not wash this.
		Okay.
		Alright.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I just posted it on Twitter.
		Don't watch it.
		You don't need to.
		Unless someone has done you wrong, unless maybe Sandra Bullock is out there.
		Sandra, I know that you've had some tough times recently, and I saw recently online the photos of this young lady that Jesse James allegedly has had an affair with.
		And, uh, you might want to watch the video of the guy cutting his balls off.
		The rest of you, no.
		But this is a message to Sandra Bullock.
		You need to know, sweetie, that there's a broad spectrum to human beings and human behavior.
		And it's, you know, life isn't what you see at the craft service table when everyone's kissing your ass on the set.
		There's a lot of crazy shit out there.
		And, uh, this crazy fucking skank with a tattoo on her forehead fucked her husband.
		It's a mad world.
		It's a fucking mad world.
		If you looked at Sandra Bullock and you looked at Jesse James, you know, you'd say, well, you know, he's a rough, fucking handsome character and she's a beautiful woman.
		They make a great couple.
		And I showed you this freak with a tattooed on her head.
		This crazy bitch that he's apparently been banging.
		And I said, what do you think that he would cheat on her for her?
unidentified		You're going, what?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		The fuck is that?
		No, he's Jesse James, right?
		This guy's a fucking TV star and he's married to Sandra Bullock.
		He's not going to fuck this crazy bitch with a tattoo on her head.
		And why did he do it?
		Because people are fucking deranged.
		People are crazy.
		They can't help themselves.
		They're looking for something just to blow energy out somehow.
		What are they going to do?
		Do some drugs?
		Cheat on their wife?
		Drive too fast?
		Get a motorcycle?
		What the fuck are they going to do?
		If you read Tiger Woods' stuff and I can't fucking help it, Some new skank came out with all his Twitters, or not his Twitters, his text messages that he sent to her.
		I'm like, first of all, what kind of a relationship did he have with these girls that they would want to put his, like, didn't even, or was he even friends with them?
		It seems like these girls, like, don't even, like, they didn't even talk to him.
		It seems like this thing was just all fucking.
		And because of that, I think they felt slighted.
		And that's what I'm getting out of this.
		I'm getting that they felt slighted.
		That here's this guy with the most squeaky clean image in the world.
		And this image is what he used to make a ton of money.
		And, you know, he's like a super successful guy at the most, you know, like lucrative sport in the world and the sport, the most connected to money, to big businesses, to, I mean, so many, like, it's so important to be like the best golfer ever.
		I'm like, God, it's just a, such a huge thing, like to market and sell that.
		And so here's this guy.
		And meanwhile, he's just a dirty bitch.
		Just talking about taking it out of their ass, stuffing it in their mouth.
		That was in his text.
		He's like, this motherfucker was crazy.
		You know, it's pretty clear that it's more than just, oh, you know, he thought he could get away with it.
		Oh, you know, he's just a man.
		No, no, no, no.
		He was deranged.
		Alright, people are crazy.
		He was getting a wild thrill from doing this thing that he wasn't supposed to be doing.
		It was all like naughty shit.
		He wanted to piss on girls.
		He was saying, I want to give you a golden shower.
		But the crazy thing is, Tiger Woods was sending texts, I want to stuff my cock in your ass.
		And then put it in your mouth like, whoa, Tiger!
		Whoa!
		Like, man, if you're going to send a text like that to someone, you've got to make sure that that person's your friend.
		You know what I'm saying?
		If you're fucking Tiger Woods, you can't just go sending texts like that to people.
		You've got to go, hey, if I sent you a text and it's really crazy, will you promise me that you won't sell this later?
		You gotta say something.
		You gotta just fucking freeball like that, Tiger.
		Does Tiger Woods have any fucking friends?
		Because I feel like if he had any friends, they would be going, dude, what are you doing?
		Like, you're banging waitresses and people are watching.
		You know, like, you gotta take it down a notch.
		You know?
		Get...
		You know, get a hooker who has something to lose.
		But who has something to lose in comparison to him, though?
		Nobody.
		If you're a guy like that, you can really never trust anybody.
		You know, if that's what you're doing, if you're a wild guy that likes to cheat on your wife, and you're a fucking billionaire, super squeaky clean character, who the fuck can you trust?
unidentified		Like, that guy, man, what a predicament.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		He would have to go somewhere where they didn't know who he was.
		He'd have to go to, like, Malaysia to cheat.
		Poor fella.
		Poor fella.
		What do I think of James Toney?
		I'm disturbed by James Toney, his recent speeches.
		I don't know what's going on with him physically.
		I guess he wants to fight heavyweight.
		I've heard that he says he wants to fight Brock Lesnar.
		If that's the case, I think maybe the best thing to do to get this over with is just give him Brock Lesnar.
		If James Toney loses to somebody, the way I look at it is James Toney, obviously, all the respect in the world as a boxer, all-time, really one of the craftiest guys to come along in decades.
		And a guy who really utilized that old, like, Archie Moore, you know, like, shoulder roll style.
		Like, had a real classic old-timers boxing style.
		Like, real good at, like, rolling with punches, then coming back.
		Like, his counter right hand is against John Ruiz.
		There's, like, a YouTube clip of him.
		Like, you see how beautiful his timing was.
		And, like, when he just destroyed Evander Holyfield in their fight, man.
		He's just so, he's so skillful as a boxer.
		Very, very skillful.
		But...
		There's so much more to MMA than just boxing.
		And I'm not hearing about him going to American Top Team.
		I'm not hearing about him going to Team Quest.
		I'm not hearing about him going to high-level camps to work with big wrestlers.
		They're going to try to take him down.
		Because otherwise, I'm hearing him say he's going to fight Brock Lesnar.
		I'm hearing one of two things.
		I'm either hearing he doesn't give a fuck, he's just here to get paid.
		Or I'm hearing he is crazy.
		And he thinks that he's going to be able to stop Brock Lesnar from taking him down by hitting him with a punch.
		Either one is not good, because one of them means he's delusional, that he doesn't really understand what this is all about, and the other one means that he's just a guy who's looking for money.
		Either one is not that good.
		I don't know.
		I don't know.
		Boxing is a tough goddamn game.
		And when you've been in it as long as James Toney has, even though he doesn't take that much punishment, you've got to realize these guys at a certain point in time, they only have a certain amount more punches you can take.
		There's a finite number, and after that number, you're fucked.
		And I think the thing with James Toney is he has this incredible confidence in his hands.
		And he really, truly believes that if a guy like Brock Lesnar tries to take him down, that he's going to be able to connect.
		And with those little gloves, he's going to put him to sleep.
		I think it looks a lot easier than it is.
		That's what I think.
		I think if he starts training with high-level guys, he goes and, you know, work out with, you know, King Mo, work out with some, like, high-level wrestlers and see how easy it is for those guys to take you down.
		You know, you think you're just going to catch them with an uppercut?
		You can't throw punches the same way.
		When you're worried about a guy taking you down.
		The timing is not the same.
		You can't stand the same way.
		If you stand the same way, they're going to kick your legs out and they're going to take you down easy.
		So you have to change your stance.
		So you not only have to change your stance as a boxer, you have to constantly be thinking about sprawling, constantly be thinking about getting your underhooks in.
		It's not the same sport.
		It's not.
		The punching ability that he has is a huge plus.
		And it'll definitely, if anybody's stupid enough to not try to take him down and just box with him, you're going to get your clock cleaned.
		You know, for sure.
		He's going to hit you with some precise counter punches.
		He's going to take advantage of little tiny minute openings.
		Because, really, he's such a high-level boxer.
		We don't see that high-level striker in the octagon.
		He can make a guy look foolish.
		If somebody chose some crazy boxer, you know, in the UFC, a guy who's got good hands, chose to try to stand up, just stand up with James Toney, he would make them look like a fool.
		He really would demoralize them.
	He would talk shit to them.
	He would start saying, what, bitch?
	What, bitch?
	Want some more of this, bitch?
unidentified		Boom!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		And he would keep just landing punches on you.
		He will fuck your world up.
		But I don't think they're going to do that.
		I think guys are going to do one of two things.
		They're going to kick the living fuck out of his legs, or they're just going to take him down.
		And I don't think he's going to be able to stop that.
		I don't think he's going to be able to stop that.
		I don't think, you know, if he got like a big jujitsu guy gets a hold of him like a...
		Like, Napal?
		Gabriel Gonzaga?
		Gabriel Gonzaga got ahold of...
		Jesus Christ!
		He might just start breaking pieces of him off, you know?
		And if, God help him, if Brock Lesnar wants to take him down, you can't just catch that guy with a punch.
		That's not enough, okay?
		That's enough for your average regular human.
		Brock Lesnar, that's a freak of a man.
		That's like the high end of the genetic spectrum where you're like, you know, you can have a dude who looks like Ichabod Crane, you know, you can have a dude who looks like, you know...
		Like, who was Olive Oil in that Popeye movie?
		What's that bitch's name?
unidentified		Bitches.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I'm so mean.
		Shelly something or another?
		Whatever her name is.
		Think of Lindsay Lohan.
		You can have a Lindsay Lohan frame.
		You know, a Paris Hilton frame.
		A little skinny body.
unidentified		Or...
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		You have the high end.
		You have Brock Lesnar, some weird instance where, you know, Vikings fucked Vikings for generation after generation and their warrior bloodlines were passed on and this motherfucker living in the woods in Minnesota, you know, he got the best of the best.
		His fucking head is that big.
		I mean, that guy for sure has good wrestling.
		For sure works very hard on his technique.
		And all that's well and good.
		But at the end of the day, that motherfucker is a barbarian.
		The reason why he's so fucking good, he is a direct descendant's From ancient giant warriors from thousands of years ago.
		That ain't a regular dude, man.
		You ain't gonna just be able to punch that guy and send him home packing.
		No, he's gonna eat your punch and he's gonna pick you up in the air like you're a pillow.
		And you're gonna feel so bad.
		You're gonna feel terrible.
		The feeling that you're going to have of helplessness and hopelessness when that fucking gorilla grabs a hold of you and yanks you up in the air and smashes you and then gets on top of you and starts boom, boom.
		And those big fucking lunchbox fists, that's a wrap, son.
		You're done.
		Okay?
		You're not going to jab and shoulder roll your way away from Brock Lesnar.
		He's going to fuck you.
		He's going to do whatever he wants to you.
		He's going to have you work for him.
		You're going to own him.
		He's going to be your master.
		He's going to put a dog collar on you.
		He's going to do whatever the fuck he wants.
		Do you not understand that?
		That guy can do whatever he wants to you.
		If we didn't live in this civilized culture, thousands of years ago, everyone that Brock Lesnar fought would be chained up in his yard.
		They would work for him.
		And they would just hope and pray that Brock doesn't get angry and decide to fuck you up today.
		That's a scary dude, man.
		Is he the best guy in the world?
unidentified		I don't know.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		He's got to fight Fedor.
		He's got to fight Shane Carwin.
		We've got to see what happens.
		We've got to see what happens with fucking Cain Velasquez.
		Cain Velasquez is a motherfucker.
unidentified		Woo!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		That guy's frighteningly talented.
		Frighteningly talented and frighteningly dedicated.
		Incredible technique too in everything he does.
		His punches, his takedowns.
		His kicks, everything is perfect technique.
		There's no fluff in his technique.
		There's no fat.
		There's no excess movement.
		The way he throws leg kicks, god damn beautiful.
		Just perfect technique.
		The way he throws punches, same thing.
		Everything is perfect technique.
		His endurance is second to none.
		I'm super, super impressed with Cain Velasquez.
		I think he's just amazing.
		The big question is, does all that amazing cardio and technique and discipline, does that make up for the great white warrior?
		Does it make up for that big fucking freak of a monster like Brock Lesnar?
		You know, that's an angry motherfucker, dude.
		When a dude beats your ass like he did to Frank Mir and then still gets in the fucking camera and starts screaming, fuck yeah, fucking...
		He's screaming and spit's coming out of his mouth and his mouthpiece is falling out and you're like, what the fuck?
		You just beat his ass and you're still mad?
		And then he gets in Frank Mir's face and he's fucking talking shit and...
unidentified		I'm like, whoa!
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		That is a guy who's got a lot of pent-up shit.
		I mean, when you're 290 fucking plus pounds of muscle and your body's covered with swords, he's got like swords and skulls and death.
		It's all like axes and swords and destruction.
		It actually says, kill em all on his lower back.
		He's got like a tramp stamp that says, kill em all.
		E-M all.
unidentified		Whoa.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Who's that there for?
unidentified		What?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		It's a scary fucking dude, man.
		That's a real angry motherfucker.
		And it's real interesting to see.
		I really want to see him versus Fedor.
		That is a very, very intriguing fight to me because...
		They represent such polar opposites.
		In Fedor, you have a guy that's, you know, a relatively small heavyweight.
		He's just about six feet tall.
		He weighs about 230 and he's got a considerable amount of fat on him.
		I mean, I would say like probably at least 20 pounds of fat.
		Like he's got a lot of jiggly fat.
		He doesn't try to lose weight at all.
		You know, he just says, I'm a heavyweight.
		This is it.
		This is what I weigh.
		I'm going to fight as a heavyweight.
		You know, there's a broad contrast between him, his personality, You know, he's very stoic.
		You never see any expression out of him.
		I mean, everybody, like, comments on the fact that the dude, like, never seems angry, never makes a mean face, never seems hurt.
		No matter if he's cut or no matter if he's got the guy hurt and he's finishing him off, he's just got this dead expression.
		Whereas Brock Lesnar is gigantic, has to cut weight to make 265. He's a guy who is at the very top of the weight class.
		And he's a guy who is just flooded with emotion, flooded with anger, flooded with expression.
		I mean, he is one of those no-nonsense motherfuckers.
		He wears who he is out on his sleeve.
		You know?
		And he likes to talk a little shit.
		And he gets angry at people.
		And he likes to swear.
		And, you know, I mean, he likes to stick the bird out of the audience.
		And, you know, when they boo him, fuck you.
		You know?
		He's a totally different dude.
		I'd be very curious to see those two approaches and see which one would ultimately prevail.
		Because it's really not...
		I mean, it is fair, but it's not fair.
		Because Brock is so much goddamn bigger.
		Brock is a lean 265. And when he's 265, he's cutting a little weight to get down there.
		You know, he'll drop some water weight, like maybe 10, 15 pounds, you know, to get down.
		So he's inflated, you know, well up to like 280 by the time he actually gets in the octagon.
		You know, just solid as a fucking house at 280. Whereas Fedor, you know, at 230, that's 50 pounds less, is not nearly as solid.
		You know, Fedor at 230 is, you know, he's jiggly.
		It doesn't matter if he connects to your face.
		He's a badass puncher.
		His jiu-jitsu is fantastic.
		His grappling is fantastic.
		He's great off of his back.
		But that's a big difference, man.
		You know, when all things are equal, and I'm not saying they are skill-wise because I do not believe they are.
		I think Fedor is more skillful and has more options to win the fight.
		But Brock is so fucking big!
		He's so much bigger.
		When you're talking about 50 pounds of bone and muscle, 50 fucking pounds, that's a significant advantage.
		And then on top of that, you're dealing with a guy who's this freak athlete.
		It's not just that he's big, like big and lumbering.
		They've had guys that were big and lumbering dudes that have fought in MMA before.
		They were never like this motherfucker.
		The way Brock moves, he moves like a light guy, even though he's a giant guy.
		He's a freak athlete.
		I mean, he really is the descendants of some fucking crazy warrior tribe.
		That's why he's got all this angry energy to him.
		That shit's genetic.
		A lot of it.
		Gotta be.
		So, that's my answer to that question.
	Alright, that was going off of the Ustream shit, so I'm gonna go to the JoeRogan.net forum and we'll see what kind of questions we got up in this bitch.
	We got two pages of questions.
	And a lot of them are joke questions.
	Jokey, jokey, joke.
unidentified		All right, let's see here.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		B.B. Jones says, "Hey, Joe, what do you know?" Is that a rhetorical question?
		I know not enough, my friend.
		I know not enough.
		Nor do any of us.
		That is the great unfortunate truth.
		How do you feel about the Pope knowing that child sex abuse was going on and he didn't say anything about it when he was a priest in Germany?
		I think they're all fucking freaks.
		I think there's only one way you can be a guy who dedicates your entire life to not having sex.
		The only way is you're a sexual deviant.
		There's something wrong with you.
		I don't believe there's any priests that aren't really completely fucked up.
		I think it's one of the craziest ways that anyone could ever make...
		Make a living.
		Get through life.
		It doesn't make any sense to me.
		You're a fucking priest?
		So, wait a minute.
		Do you get to a different heaven than the people that get pussy and get to have a good time?
		No.
		You get to the same heaven.
		So, by doing what you do, what?
		Everybody has to listen to you and give you money and you get to fuck the kids.
		Like, what is that about?
		It doesn't make any sense because it totally goes against what the idea of religion should be all about.
		Religion should be all about, it's like God's word to everyone on how to live your life.
		How come these guys that spread God's word, they don't get to have sex?
		What's that about?
		Why are they so fucked up?
		I'll tell you why.
		Because initially, priests had too much goddamn power.
		You know, a long time ago, priests were allowed to have sex.
		But the problem was, they were fucking everyone.
		Because those were the guys that were in charge of God.
		Those were the guys that were talking to God.
		Those were the guys that were...
		They were at the front of the fucking God line.
		They had the Willy Wonka golden ticket.
		And they were reading the Word of God.
		And in a village, you know, of several hundred people, the guy who's the fucking priest who speaks the Word of God and has to console all these women.
		And, you know, maybe these women are with husbands that, you know, are tired of fucking them.
		And this priest would love to step in and take some of that.
unidentified		What's up?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I'll give you some God knowledge.
		Now you give me some head.
		And that shit was going on left and right, and that's why priests can't fuck.
		The reason why priests aren't allowed to fuck is because they were fucking everybody.
		So then, well, who the hell wants to be priests if you can't fuck?
		You know, once they told them they couldn't fuck anymore, what'd they do?
		Well, they probably, some of them probably kept fucking.
		And said, yeah, yeah, I'll stop.
		And they kept banging people and then they got caught.
		They probably got flogged or something terrible like that.
		And so then they really cracked down and made sure that the priests are not allowed to have sex anymore.
		Well, once they started doing that, then the only people that want to be priests were either gays who could be with other priests and they just like keep it on the sneak sneak and bang each other or pedophiles.
		Because they had access to all these children, and these children had to listen to them.
		The overwhelming amount, I mean, just, it hurts your head to think about how many fucking kids have been sexually abused by the Catholic Church.
		I mean, it really hurts your head.
		It really hurts to think that all these people are so blinded by a fucking fairy tale that they're willing to let some criminal, some monster, fuck their kids.
		After all these years, the fact that that is still going on, that is mind-boggling.
		It is mind-boggling that we pay any attention to this fucking silly cult.
		And no one can say this.
		No politician can say this, because for sure, no one's going to vote for you.
		If you come out and say, this is nonsense, and if there is a God, for sure these are not his words.
		This is the word of man.
		I mean, if you just analyze religion, I mean, just as...
		I mean, let's say that once upon a time it was the Word of God.
		Who the fuck knows?
		I don't know.
		You don't know.
		I mean, if there really is a God.
		I always say that I've done things that were so much crazier than the stories that people tell about heaven.
		When you smoke DMT and you've communicated in another dimension with beings that are made out of love and understanding and they're super knowledgeable and they know everything about life and everything about you.
		When you've seen something like that and someone wants to talk to you and tell you that they've seen a guy in the cloud with a harp, who are you to tell him that he's full of shit?
		You're talking about something that you've actually experienced and I've actually experienced that's way more fucking crazy than angels with wings and a dude in the clouds with a big book of who gets in and who doesn't.
		That's way less crazy than the things that I've actually experienced.
		And this thing that you actually experience when you die, this DMT, this stuff that when you die, this is what your brain produces.
		When you're in heavy REM sleep, this is what your brain produces.
		A natural part of human neurochemistry and it lets you see something way crazier than what these religious people are talking about.
		So who am I to say that there's no God, that maybe there is a fucking village in the clouds, maybe it's all true.
		But just studying the actual words, if you know the history of how the Bible was made, the ancient Hebrew, which the original Old Testament was written in, the original Bible written in ancient Hebrew was, to this day, they only know three out of four of those words.
		To this day!
		Like today, 25% of the words in ancient Hebrew, they're like, who the fuck knows?
		Not only that, there was no numbers in ancient Hebrew.
		Letters doubled as numbers.
		So like the letter A was also the number one.
		And there was numerical value to words that is completely lost in the translation to Greek and to Latin.
		Like the word love and the word God have the same numerical value.
		And this numerical value, the value of these words, it was very important to the translation of what was meant.
		All that is missing.
		When they translated that, and then eventually to English, all that's missing.
		And then you've got the New Testament, which is just complete wackiness, because Constantine, who wasn't even a fucking Christian, created this.
		And this is just clearly a ploy to try to control people.
		Constantine got together with a bunch of bishops, and they wrote it all out.
		And there's stuff that they left in and stuff they took out.
		So the New Testament, which is literally made hundreds of years after Christ was supposed to be dead, who the fuck knows what that's all about?
		Who knows?
		But all you need to know is the guy who even wrote it wasn't even a Christian.
		Like, right before he died, he converted, I believe.
		And, you know, it was very clear.
		Constantine wanted he was an emperor.
		He wanted to control people.
		And that's what it's best at.
		It's so good at controlling people that you'll let pedophiles fuck your kids because they have the magic fairy tale golden ticket.
		It's mind-boggling.
		It's mind-boggling that this goofy fuck in a crazy outfit, this cult leader, gets special treatment.
		They'll make fun of the Moonies.
	They'll make fun of Scientologists.
	But the fucking Pope on TV somehow or another gets to be national news.
	This crazy fuck who's not allowed to have sex, who hangs out with a bunch of crazy fucks who aren't allowed to have sex, and every rock you fucking pick up, there's a priest fucking a kid underneath it.
	I mean, it's just...
	Throughout their entire organization, there are thousands and thousands and thousands of cases.
	Every fucking year new ones pop up.
	Every fucking year some new scandal about how they knew this guy was fucking kids and so they moved him to New Mexico or some shit.
	I mean, it's really shocking that Catholic people are even going to church anymore.
	It's Completely shocking that there's still people that they trick.
	Just the sheer weight of its own bullshit should have collapsed the Catholic religion a long fucking time ago.
	And this is coming from someone who was raised a Catholic.
	I went to Catholic school when I was in first grade.
	One year I went to Catholic school.
	And it was such a fucking horrendous nightmare.
josh olin ▲ ● ▼		I don't remember second grade.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I don't remember it.
		I remember first grade, though, like a motherfucker.
		Because first grade was the only year that I was in Catholic school.
		I remember this Fucking cunt.
		Sister Mary Josephine, this evil, evil woman who used to tell you that if you didn't get your homework done, you would have to sit on a nail in the closet overnight.
		She would smack you in the head.
		I mean, it was real shit.
		If you cried, if you were upset about something, she would make fun of you.
		You know, look at this one crying!
		She was just no compassion, no love, no friendship.
		No warmth.
		It was all evil.
		It was all anger and evil.
		And that is what that relationship is.
		It is unnatural.
		It's not real.
		This relationship to life where you're a person who's in charge of some nonsense fairy tale and because of that you get to shit on people and yell at their kids and hit their fucking kids and treat them like shit?
		Because you somehow or another are special?
		Because you're one of those people that doesn't fuck?
		And you have, you know, what?
		You have more access to God?
		No, you don't even have more access!
		You don't have anything!
		It's the craziest, most ridiculous cult ever, and it's still going on.
		And if that's not a damning condemnation of human beings and human culture today, in 2010, with the age of information, with the internet, with all this, that we still have the Catholic religion, that that stupid shit is still around, it's mind-boggling.
		Without a doubt.
		If there is a God, that's not what he wants.
		If there is a God, what God is is the energy that creates everything.
		It might not be a conscious thing, or it might be all conscious things together as one thing.
		In some sort of a framework that we can't even recognize because it's so big, it's so great that literally, you know, when someone, some hippie says, hey, you are God and God's you.
		What if that's true?
		What if that really is true?
		What if our purpose on this life has shielded us from that recognition?
		Because we have to go through whatever we have to go through.
		Like, we're here for a reason.
		We're pushing humanity and human culture and human innovation forward for a reason.
		You know, probably some sort of a fucking, some sort of a technological thing that we're going to create that's going to enter us into the new age.
		But if that's the case, is it that we just lack the perception to really understand that we're in tune with anything, with everything, with the whole world, then that makes sense that everything is God.
		And that's the feeling that you get when you do mushrooms.
		When you do mushrooms, you get this feeling of connectedness that you are attached.
		When you do DMT as well, which is very similar to mushrooms in what it is chemically.
		What DMT is is dimethyltryptamine.
		What mushrooms are, Cubensis mushrooms, is 4-fox4-aloxy and dimethyltryptamine.
		They're very closely chemically related.
		You have this intense feeling of connection with everything, with people, you know, with the friends in your life, with animals, with wilderness.
		I mean, that's why they say do mushrooms and go into nature.
		Because when you do, when you, you know, have some mushrooms and you're laying in the woods, you know, in a plot of trees, you feel like the energy of the trees.
		It's like some avatar type shit.
		Like you really feel like the fucking tree of souls communicating with you.
		I think that our main problem as human beings is that we are in a stage of evolution and we're in an adolescent stage and we are certainly passing where we used to be and just our potential For evolving above the basic fight or flight instincts and our potential for evolving above just animal brutality and anger and jealousy and all these things that we think that we need in order to compete and survive.
		we have potential to rise above that and that's what yoga is all about and that's what meditation is all about and isolation tanks people who are a psychedelic enthusiasts with that's what that's all about is this this struggle up this slippery slope to get to the top to have just a little better view of what the world could be and I think that that's what that's the the potential that we have inside of us
		It's all moving towards that.
		Human understanding.
		The idea of human enlightenment.
		This quest to get your shit together.
		It's all moving away from these nonsensical animal instincts to something higher and more evolved.
		And I think that potential is the only good thing that human beings have.
		It's like we have this potential For one side or the other, we have this potential to be like an evil government that corrupts its citizens, or we have this potential to be a brother.
		We have this potential to be a sister.
		We have this potential to be someone who loves you like they love family, like they love themselves.
		I have a buddy that has a kid, and we were talking about babies recently, and we were just joking around.
		He's a comic as well.
		Gene Pompa, last night at The Improv.
		And we're just talking about, and I've had this conversation with other people too, about how it makes you so much a nicer person.
	And I said that, man, if everybody treated everybody the way I treat my daughter, what a fucking beautiful world we would live in.
	It would just be a world of warmth and friendship.
	If we just had a pill that made you love everybody the way I love my daughter, and we do have a pill like that.
	It's called ecstasy.
	But that shit's terrible for you, and the next day you feel like shit and it hurts your head.
	But...
	If we figured out a way...
	And maybe we're going to do that.
	I mean, maybe that's what the next stage of evolution really is all about.
	Maybe it's an evolution pill.
	Maybe some people take the evolution vaccine and some people won't.
	And they'll shoot your arm with some shit that lasts like six months.
	And it's some vaccination against stupidity.
	Some vaccination against nonsense.
	Against a lack of understanding and appreciation of the fact that we're here...
	In this temporary situation as one gigantic hive, one super organism.
	And that the more love you spread out, the more positive energy you spread out, the more you get back.
	You know, the more it comes back to affect you.
	And it goes out in ripples because the people that you affect, they affect other people as well.
	And the more positive you spread out, literally you can change your world.
	You can change the world of the people that you come in contact with.
	I think that is what human beings are slowly starting to realize.
	And that may be what God really is.
	What God might be is everything.
	What it's not is a bunch of dudes in fucking robes that want to have sex with your kids, okay?
	That's not God.
	That's nonsense.
	And the fact that these fucking presidential candidates...
	And all these knuckleheads that want to be world leaders and they want to guide us towards, you know, they're not guiding us towards anything.
	It's business as usual.
	There's no evolution whatsoever in the political process.
	There's no evolution whatsoever amongst these fuckheads that talk.
	We're decades and decades behind the progressive American culture.
	The people that are at the front of the line of thinking.
	These motherfuckers are decades behind.
	You know, this idea of religious freedom.
	Yes, I agree.
	Yes, you should have the freedom to study religiously.
	You should have the freedom to do whatever you want.
	You don't have to feed the flying spaghetti monster.
	If that's your thing, that's fine, you know?
	But you can't take it seriously.
	You can't expect someone who is...
	I mean, that is the whole idea of the separation of church and state.
	The whole idea is like some sort of conceding somehow that, okay, you're allowed to believe ridiculous shit.
	How about this?
	How about we just leave all the religion out and all we concentrate on is how things are run, business, how we treat each other, what laws we enforce, how we make sure that people aren't being victimized.
	These fucking politicians and these newspapers and all these people that really follow all this Pope bullshit, they just add credence to it because knuckleheads read about it in the news so they think it's legitimate.
	I had a conversation with someone where they were saying that we were talking about cults and I said, well, I was watching a documentary and it was really fascinating.
	It was a documentary on Christianity and they kept referring it to the cult cults.
	Of Christianity.
	That's how they were referring it to in this very scientific documentary.
	And this woman was very upset.
	She's like, Christianity is not a cult.
	And I'm like, how can you say it's not a cult?
	And she's like, well, because first of all, you don't have a cult that has billions of people in it.
	Yes, you do.
	It's just a bigger cult.
	Like, if you have a cult that has three people, if you can trick three people, you can trick three million, okay?
	If you can find three people dumb enough to believe your wackiness and they let you fuck them and they wear purple Nikes because you tell them that's the sacred color, if you get three people to do that and they really believe it, they're going to get more people to believe it.
	We are all going through this life completely clueless.
	We are like people in a spaceship that woke up from hypersleep and were going through the manuals and no one knows how to run the ship.
	That's what we are like.
	And there's a few of us that are older that are pretending to the younger people, listen, don't worry, we've got this, everything's going to be fine, we're going to have a meeting with Congress, we're going to work all this out.
	And these people are trying to placate the rest of us who are just like them.
	And no one knows what the fuck is going on.
	So anybody that steps up and tells you that they have all the answers, that God wants this for you and God wants that, no, you don't know.
	Those are the enemy.
	Anybody that says they have the answers, they're your enemy.
	And anybody who wants your money, they're your enemy too.
	You know, give me a fucking show, alright?
	Don't just stand there and recite some stupid Latin shit and pass around a basket because you're too lazy to work for a living, you fuck.
	No.
	If you want to be the real messenger of the Word of God, you wouldn't be asking for money, okay?
	Stop it.
	People would be giving money to you because they love you.
	You wouldn't have a fucking basket that you pass around and make everybody feel guilty.
	Fuck you.
	That's nonsense.
	That's silly goddamn nonsense.
	And until we acknowledge that, Until we acknowledge that it is our own insecurities that are asking us to search for an answer to something that's impossible to answer.
	Until we acknowledge that we're fucked.
	We're just spinning our wheels.
	We're in the same spot we've always been.
	And that is the problem.
	The real problem is everybody wants to pretend that there's an answer.
	To something that you cannot answer.
	There is no answer.
	It is absolutely impossible.
	And if there is a God, it's probably so much more complex than you could ever possibly wrap your fucking head around.
	And I'll tell you what it's not.
	It's not Adam and Eve, okay?
	It's not God made two people and, you know, they fucked and they had kids and their kids started fucking each other.
	Because that's what Adam and Eve is.
	There's only two people.
	That's one of the...
	That's like any child with a simple grasp of mathematics and five minutes to think about it.
	You'd say, okay, I'm going to tell you a story of Adam and Eve.
	You tell me what you think is wrong with that.
	They would go, okay, if Adam and Eve made people, everybody came from Adam and Eve?
	Everybody.
	The whole world.
	Okay.
	If Adam and Eve made people, so they had kids, and the kids were like, they were brothers and sisters?
unidentified		Yep.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		How do they make more people?
		There we go, no.
		They fucked each other?
		They fucked each other.
		Adam fucked the kids, and Eve fucked the kids, and the kids fucked each other.
		And that's where people came from.
		What?
		It's 2010!
		No one has any fucking answer.
		No one, goddammit.
		Except maybe Gangstar.
		Gangstar's got the answer.
unidentified		I like this one.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I don't know who Big L is, but I like him.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Big L, rest in peace.
unidentified		Big L, rest in peace.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		So, that's my long answer to a short question.
		Fuck the Pope.
		Fuck all those dummies.
		Fuck anybody that tells you they've got it wired.
		No.
		No.
		No, stupid.
		No, you don't have it wired.
		And you've got to get a real job now, okay?
		It's 2010. If the whole world got on mushrooms, the Catholic religion would implode, okay?
		They would have to go out and start kidnapping kids to fuck because nobody would bring their kids to them anymore.
		You know?
		It's a corrupt criminal organization of kid fuckers.
		That's what it is.
		Do I have any idea how Lost ends?
		No.
		Those fucks.
		I've been trying to not tune in.
		I'm going to be on Adam Carolla's podcast real soon.
		I think next week.
		Actually, I'll tell you right now.
		Because I'm on the fucking internet.
		Holla!
		How do you like them apples?
		I love the internet.
		It's easily my favorite human creation.
		I'm so addicted.
		It's killing my vision.
unidentified		I have a hard time reading things when they're up close now.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Okay, let's see.
		Adam Carolla.
		Yes, next week, the 23rd.
		So next Tuesday, the 23rd, I'll be doing the Adam Carolla podcast.
		However, I don't know exactly what time the podcast, what time he puts it up.
		So...
		That's my answer to that.
		But I'll be doing it next Tuesday the 23rd.
unidentified		All right.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		More questions.
		Bad Bobby says, Joe, I once read if they legalized all drugs, it could cost the USA 150,000 good jobs and cops, lawyers and so forth.
		I don't know if it's true, but I believe the war on drugs is a make-work project.
		Forget about if they're getting some profits and selling them.
		I don't know if it's true, but it sounded right.
		Yes, definitely.
		The war on drugs is definitely, look, between the private prisons...
		And between law enforcement, there's an industry in keeping drugs illegal.
		And it's not about protecting you.
		You know, some drugs, yes it is.
		When they go and close down crystal meth labs, yeah, that's a fucking danger because crystal meth makes people, it completely fucks with their judgment, makes them insane.
		Look what it did to Jesse James.
		He fucked that bitch with a tattoo on her head.
		I guarantee that dude was doing meth when he fucked her.
		There's no way he was sober.
		You don't fuck chicks with tattoos on their head when you're sober.
		When you see a bitch that has pray for sinners tattooed on her fucking forehead, you go...
unidentified		What?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		And she's ugly?
		Oh, yeah, let me stick my raw dick inside you.
		No, that guy was doing drugs.
		And there's drugs that are bad for you, okay?
		And crystal meth is one of them.
		It's a terrible, terrible drug.
		You know, heroin's another one.
		I mean, I've seen cocaine turn people into, they're like, they become like roaches.
		They become like bugs.
		You know, they're like, they don't, they're not thinking about you, man.
		They're just trying to get that shit.
		How do I get that shit?
		You know, they literally get black shark eyes.
		They turn dead on the inside, man.
		There's drugs that are terrible for you.
		And those drugs, yeah, I could see an argument for them being illegal.
		I could see an argument for us doing something about the people that sell them because they're damaging people.
		It's dangerous.
		But there's other drugs like mushrooms and pot.
		If you get caught with those things, man, it doesn't matter.
		Those are still illegal drugs.
		As a matter of fact, they're more illegal than heroin.
		Do you know that Schedule 1 drugs, for the most part, are the drugs that really have, like, use?
		Schedule 1 is the most illegal, okay?
		Schedule 1 is DMT, which your own brain produces, so as Terence McKenney said, He said, everyone's holding.
		I mean, that's really what it is.
		You are in production and you are in possession of a really illegal substance.
		The number one.
		Schedule one.
		DMT. Marijuana.
		Schedule one.
		No one's ever died of pot.
		Ever!
		Do you know what?
		The only way pot is going to kill you is if you're standing on the wrong side of the fence when one of those Mexican drug helicopters comes over and pushes a bailout and it clubs you on the fucking head.
		That's how you die for pot.
		Other than that, you're not going to die for pot.
		You might think you're dying, but you're just going to fall asleep and you're going to be fine.
		No one's fucking died of it ever.
		But yet still, pot is schedule one.
		Mushrooms, same thing.
		I've never heard of anybody dying from mushrooms.
		You can definitely die if you eat poison mushrooms, but poison mushrooms, by the way, are legal.
		And you can have poison mushrooms all around your backyard and you can munch on them all day and fucking die of a heart attack and nobody gives a shit.
		No one's gonna have a- it's not gonna be a- a big inquest.
		No one's gonna go crazy.
		But if you- if you put psilocybin mushrooms in your yard and the cops come and find them growing in your yard, they will lock you in a fucking cage.
		Even though psilocybin mushrooms, they can make you go crazy if you do too many of them and if you have a weak mental constitution.
		I could see you going crazy from mushrooms.
		Just too much information, too much realization.
		But you could go crazy from anything.
		You can go crazy from paint.
		You could huff paint and sniff paint and blow your fucking brains out.
		You can go crazy from anything.
		Some people are weak and fragile.
		Any really extreme experience can fuck them up.
		There's an ant.
		I think it's called an iron ant.
		I forget the name of the ant.
		This ant bites you.
		The venom is so intense and horrifying that it's been described as slamming your arm into a car door for an hour.
		That's what it feels like.
		Just slamming your arm.
		Imagine what that would feel like.
	It lasts for 24 hours.
	What?
	So this intense, insane throbbing, like literally, you're getting ripped apart, like someone slamming a door on your arm, and it lasts a whole day.
	And the experience is so traumatic that some people, when they come out of it, they are never the same again.
	They're just a shell.
	They're just so fucked up.
	They could not get through the pain of one full 24-hour period.
	So, like, there's some shit...
	In the world, they can fuck you up.
	That's not why marijuana is illegal.
	That's not why mushrooms are illegal.
	They're illegal because they're trying to keep you from them.
	They don't want a society that is questioning leadership.
	They don't want a society...
	And that's the other problem.
	The people that are in power, they're not using these things.
	Throughout human history, shamans have been the leaders of tribes and shamans have been the ones that the tribe will go to when the tribe has troubles.
	And what the shamans are, were people who had a lot of experience in navigating psychedelic dimensions.
	In the Amazon, when they would all sit around and drink ayahuasca, ayahuasca is an herb, like a tea that they brew that produces DMT. Ordinarily, DMT is not, you can't drink it because it gets broken down when you take it in orally, when you eat it.
	It gets broken down by something in your stomach called monoamine oxidase and it's produced in your gut.
	And this ayahuasca was a way that they figured out how to extract DMT and a monoamine oxidase inhibitor from another plant.
	It's really fucking crazy.
	They've been doing this for 10,000 years.
	In a place where there's 250,000 plus different species of plants, they've figured out a way to combine two to make this incredible brew that lets you communicate with the afterlife.
	Which, by the way, is totally illegal.
	It's a mess.
	It's a real fucking mess when you start to think about what it really is.
	Because what it really is is people keeping other people from having an experience.
	And the reasoning for it, the reason why, is not because they think that this person, if they have that experience, is going to make life difficult for me.
	They're going to come after me.
	They're going to hurt my family.
	No.
	They're doing it because they can profit off this person not having that experience.
	If I say that something is illegal and I set forth laws and I say, if you cross this boundary and you do this behavior and you violate my law, I get to lock you in a cage and I get to make money from locking you in a cage.
	Not only that, I get to employ people that now they have a job and their job is to go after people that are doing what I said they couldn't do and get them and kidnap them and put them in a cage.
	That's what you're having with marijuana and mushroom bust and stuff like that.
	You're telling someone that by your judgment, they shouldn't have that experience.
	And so you say, well, if you're going to make such an extreme judgment, that judgment has to be based on facts, right?
	No.
	No, it doesn't have to be based on facts.
	Of course it doesn't.
	Because if it was, then marijuana would have been legal in the 1950s.
	I mean, it would have been legal when they passed the sweeping Schedule I Psychedelics Act of 1970, I believe it was, when they made everything illegal.
	They would have had to provide some reasoning for making mushrooms illegal.
	Some reasoning for making marijuana illegal.
	And it would have been scientific and it would have been medical.
	But the problem is every single fucking medical study that's ever been done about marijuana shows that it's relatively harmless.
	I mean, you can ruin your life with anything.
	You can ruin your life with cheeseburgers if you want to.
	I was talking about bottles.
	You can take a bottle and bottles can hold a nice delicious drink.
	Or you can take a bottle and you can stuff it up your ass and throw yourself down a flight of stairs and bleed to death.
	The real fucking problem is that we are allowing people to victimize other people for profit.
	And that's what the war on drugs is all about.
	And the reason why the war on drugs works at all is because the people responsible, the cops and the lawyers, they're not doing drugs.
	If they were doing drugs, if they were doing the right drugs, they were doing mushrooms and they were smoking pot, There would be nothing.
	It would all stop.
	They would have to stop.
	If you do the correct amount of mushroom dose, you would realize that in victimizing people, you are victimizing yourself.
	You are creating a terrible stream of karma.
	You are ruining lives for nothing.
	You are ruining lives for something that doesn't have anything to do with you.
	And something that's been around in terms of...
	For marijuana and mushrooms and ayahuasca, tens of thousands of years of human use.
	And as I said, in those indigenous cultures, the shaman was the one who made the decisions.
	That's because this is the guy that had the most experience in these matters of the spirit world.
	We don't have that anymore.
	Now we have the opposite.
	We have leaders that, if we find out they're doing mushrooms, we would be shocked.
	We would want them removed from office.
	If Obama had a press conference on Monday and said, I got together with my wife the other day.
	We did five grams of mushrooms and we went to the mountains.
	And I really started to think about our country.
	Everybody would be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
	That would be the most beautiful thing that he could ever say.
	If you could say, I just took something that allowed me to literally tune in to the stream of love that is God, that is the energy of the universe, that is Mother Gaia.
	I connected myself to all that is loving in the world and I came back with some revelations and some thoughts about how we can lead our culture better, how we can be kinder to the rest of the world, how instead of going all these places to control their resources and to ruin them, how about we introduce them to this spiritual realm?
	How about we introduce the whole world to mushrooms?
	How about we produce them in mass quantities and slowly start to open people's eyes up to the fact that it's not a lack of resources that we have in this country.
	It's a gluttonous fucking gigantic group at the top that are fucking and raping the world.
	It's not that we have not enough resources to run the life We don't have enough resources to run the life we're living.
	We don't have to live like this.
	This is all nonsense.
	We live a non-agriculturally based life.
	We live a life where we rely on fossil fuels and we rely on petroleum.
	We don't have to.
	There's many, many things that could be done with plants that we're doing right now.
	If marijuana was legal, first of all, just hemp for use for oil and use for textiles and use for...
	You could make houses out of it and you could fucking fuel cars with it.
	You could build cars with it.
	Lotus actually made a fucking car with a...
	Instead of carbon fiber or fiberglass, they made the fucking shell out of hemp.
	I mean, it's all possible.
	We just can't live the way we're living right now.
	And there's no way to effectively reset civilization better than psychedelics.
	But meanwhile, saying that makes you sound like a retard.
	Like, I'm listening to my own self.
	And I'm like, if I didn't do drugs, if I had never done mushrooms or anything like that, I heard a guy talking like this.
	I'm like, who the fuck is this idiot?
	How could you possibly say that?
	You think you have all the answers?
	I don't have the answers, but I do have...
	A possible door to the answers.
	And that's what I think psychedelic experiences are.
	And these guys that are running for president, they will deny that to the end.
	They will, you know, Obama had this fucking thing recently where it was a town hall meeting and he got all these questions from the internet.
	And the number one question, the number one question was marijuana legalization.
	And every other issue that was being discussed that day, whether it was healthcare or anything else, he gave these really well-thought-out, in-depth answers.
	But it came to the marijuana question.
	He was like, ho, ho, ho.
	Well, I don't know what that says about this group here.
unidentified		Ho, ho, ho.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		And he said, no, I don't think that's a good idea.
		Really?
		You don't think that's a good idea?
		You don't think it's a good idea to stop suppressing people?
		You don't think it's a good idea to not jail people for having a fucking experience?
		To not jail people for selling a plant, a naturally growing thing that's never killed anyone?
		You don't think that it's a good idea to reverse an evil, fucked up, corrupt law that is helping people with the worst karma ever, imprison people for nothing?
		Well, you, sir, need some fucking mushrooms.
		And that's the problem.
		We have a whole group of people running this fucking country, and none of them are doing mushrooms.
		I would like to have a talk show.
		I've talked about this on stage.
		I wanted to have a talk show where I make people do mushrooms with me.
		And it would be called Do Mushrooms with Joe Rogan.
		And we have on, you know...
		I mean, you want to know a real truth serum?
		Mushrooms is the best truth serum.
		Once that fucking wave hits you, that wave of alien information and the wave of love and the connectivity, and when you see the fiber of the very universe all around you, you're going to start talking.
		And if I could get, you know, like Ken Starr and Dick Cheney, could you imagine?
		Could you imagine if those guys, like, if people sued them, And people, you know, because like, look, there's a lot of people that want to take them to trial for war crimes, especially Dick Cheney.
		When you think about the fact that Dick Cheney was the CEO of Halliburton, and then, you know, he becomes the vice president of the United States, we go to some crazy fucking wars where Halliburton gets the contracts, and the wars are all based on...
		Totally false information about weapons of mass destruction.
		There's people that say that.
		Dick Cheney was at the helm of it and he was lying.
		You could try that motherfucker for crimes against humanity.
		You could try him for that.
		And if he was convicted and they said, here's one thing you can do to get out of it.
		You gotta do the, let's do mushrooms with Joe Rogan show.
		And you have a guy like that, like a...
		Any really fucked up politician, George Bush Sr., George Bush Jr., anyone like that, sit them down and make them do mushrooms.
		Make them realize that just because you've been living this life the same way As everyone before you, as your father and all these other corrupt politicians, it doesn't mean it's justifiable.
		Just because you can find examples all around you of people who have done worse and people who are doing the same things, doesn't mean that it's supposed to continue.
		And there's got to be a way to stop it.
		It doesn't seem to be stopping with the evolution of culture.
		It seems to be the same.
		It seems to be that the corruption, it's being exposed more, but it doesn't seem like it's put a monkey wrench in it, like they're just stopping.
		You know, the financial corruption involved in this bailout is staggering.
		And if you really want to hurt your head, you go and read some of Matt Taibbi's articles about it, it fucking hurts.
		Like, when you look at the billions and trillions of dollars and where it's going and how it's being funded and these guys are getting bonuses and they're getting bonuses but they don't have any money and the money came from taxpayers but they were Oh, the bonuses or else they'll quit.
		Well, why don't they fire them?
		They're the ones that fucked this thing up in the first place.
		It's staggering.
		I mean, it's literally our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.
		It's the only way, I think, to restructure our society correctly.
		Literally, it would have to be done by someone other than us.
		That's what the Constitution was all about when there was the birth of America.
		The idea of America was that we were going to have a separation of church and state.
		That we were going to have people that could only run it for a few years, and then they would have to leave.
		We were going to have the will of the people.
		We were going to be free from all the imperialism bullshit that we had to deal with in England and Europe.
		But after a while, it just fell into the same thing.
		People, inherently, if we're left alone and we're just people the way we are right now, our evolution, our cultural and social evolution is so much slower than the evolution of technology and what we're able to do.
		We're able to communicate with people all around the world.
		We're able to fly in fucking tubes through the sky.
		We're able to send video through the air.
		We're able to watch television programs that are being broadcast from the other side of the planet.
		I mean, we have this incredible technological capabilities, but socially, we're just a bump ahead of where we were in the 50s.
		Just a little.
		Just a little.
		I mean, it could be argued that we're, like, slightly behind where we were in the 70s in comparison to, like, you know, if you think about it, like, as far as, like, what kind of access to information they had back then.
		You know, everybody was all about love and fucking peace and love.
		Why is that?
		Why was it the 60s, the late 60s?
		What's the drop-off between then and here?
	You know?
	It's drugs.
	It's what it is.
	When, you know, all that Summer of Love, all that Woodstock shit, they were all on acid, okay?
	They were all on mushrooms, they were all on peyote, they were high as fuck, and they were realizing that this way of living the life that, you know, leads you to be your dad is not where it's at.
	When you watch your dad drop dead of a fucking heart attack at 55 and you scarcely can remember him laughing three times ever, you know, and you go, what, I'm supposed to be that guy?
	What the fuck is that?
	You know?
	And then the Vietnam War and all the disenchantment with our government.
	I mean, that's what forced people to more drugs.
unidentified		That's what forced the culture to change more.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		We need something like that.
		We need something like that right now.
		Because the way we're doing it, we are just spinning our fucking wheels.
		When the President wins the Nobel Peace Prize and then, like a week later, sends 30,000 people more into Afghanistan, you gotta go, what the fuck?
		Really?
		You know, what the fuck?
		You think this is a good idea?
		Nobody after the Vietnam War thought the Vietnam War was a good idea.
		Less people are going to think the Afghanistan war is a good idea.
		Because Afghanistan isn't even really a fucking country.
		I mean, it's like one city and a hundred tribes.
		You know, the way John McCain describes Afghanistan, he said it's run the same way it was run when Alexander the Great was around.
		I mean, literally you have warlords, and they run tribes, and in between these warlords...
		You know, there's a few Taliban, like, sprinkled in the hills.
		And you know how we find out about these Taliban?
		This is where it gets really funny.
		We give the warlords Viagra.
		Because the warlords can't get it up anymore.
		And, you know, they want to still be the warlord, but, you know, they got, like, these six wives, and these chicks are, like, sitting around, going, when are you going to fuck me?
		And they can't fuck them, so they take Viagra now.
		And the soldiers give them Viagra, and they, in turn, give them information about the Taliban.
		it's pretty funny shit okay let's see you How long will the world ignore the people that are dying of starvation?
		I think Sam Kinison had the best answer to that.
unidentified		Why don't you people live where the food is?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Okay, let me see.
		Tiger Woods is gully.
		I don't know what that means.
		Fuck James Toney.
		Big L, rest of peace.
		Oh, Big L was a rapper that was shot and killed in Harlem in 1999. Thank you, Eternal.
		Alright, damn, it's already almost 7 o'clock.
		We've been doing this for an hour and a half.
unidentified		All right, people.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I don't see anything more interesting here.
		So I'm going to go back to Twitter.
		I'm going to stay with you guys for another half an hour.
		Oh, someone thinks I can't recognize two dudes dicks.
		I claim earlier I'm proficient in identifying poor stars by their dicks.
		Some fans might wonder if you're truly being honest because it seems kind of gay.
		Whose is whose?
		Peter North, Ron Jeremy, Rocco Sofretti.
		I would say the bottom one, it looks a little like Ron Jeremy.
		And the top one looks a little like Rocco Sofretti.
		But the top one could be the same guy.
		In which case, I'd say Bolter Ron Jeremy.
		Am I right?
unidentified		Sad.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		So sad that I know.
		Alright, Twitter.
		Let's see what's on Twitter.
		Goddammit, I love you too.
		Heiress for Andrew, you motherfucker.
		Infiltrate the White House kitchen and mix psychedelics in the food.
		That might not be such a good idea.
		Did you hear about what happened in France?
		I'll find the article for you.
		The CIA put LSD in...
		They spiked...
		I'll put the...
		It's all over the internet.
		Not just one...
		I'll put one up on, but if you just look up CIA France LSD in Google, you will find many, many, many articles about it.
		I'll put it up on Twitter right now.
unidentified		Okay, I just threw it up on Twitter right I just threw it up on Twitter right there.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		It's some fascinating shit, man.
		So I don't think that dosing people with acid is the answer.
		I think that's definitely not the way to go.
		Any psychedelic drug should be done, if you're going to do it at all, with an understanding of what you're doing and you're doing it with someone who knows what they're doing, who's done it many times before.
		And that's what the role of a shaman is supposed to be.
		What a shaman is supposed to be is someone who can give you experience and help you and guide you through the experience of Literally leaving this world.
		That's what psychedelics are all about.
		Everybody thinks that to really leave this world, you're going to get a spaceship and you're going to go to another planet.
		You can leave this world from right here.
		You can leave this world in your own mind.
		And it's much more possible to me that the real aliens, the real alien life, it's probably way weirder and way more complicated than we've got it broken down in the movies with metal ships and shit like that.
		I think it's more of a dimensional thing.
		I think there's, you know, if you talk to people that know anything about quantum physics, and I don't understand it, I don't get it, but...
		From their claims, and supposedly this is mathematically provable, there's at least 11 dimensions.
		That's just what we know about.
		What does that even mean?
		Do you even know what that means?
		I'm not sure I do.
		But I think that the way I think about it is that it's very likely that just this reality is just the reality that we're tuned into.
		But there's probably...
		An infinite number of different realities going on at the same time all around us.
		We just can't tune into it.
		We just don't, literally don't have the senses for it.
		So it might be that alien life is here right now all the time.
		It's just operating on like a different frequency on the dial.
		You know, like that the world is a radio and that we're 97.1 but that the aliens are 109.8 and, you know, we just can't tune them in.
		You know, who the fuck knows?
		But you know, when you start talking aliens, people are going to think you're crazy.
		If we ever did, man, if we ever did fucking find aliens, god damn, would that be a crazy day.
		If they ever did come down, but I don't think they would be too nice to us because we're not so nice to chimps.
		You know, look at what we do to killer whales, man.
		You know, we take fucking killer whales and we know they're super smart and we don't care.
		We don't give a fuck.
		Get in the fish tank, stupid.
		Get in the tank and do tricks.
		You know, what makes us think that aliens are going to treat us any differently?
		Maybe that's what all these alien abduction experiments are all about.
		Maybe they don't think us seriously at all.
		They just think we're crazy pink monkeys with nuclear weapons.
		And they come down and they fuck with us.
		And there's a joke that I do in my act about how if there really are aliens, I believe that Earth is the Tijuana of outer space.
		And I really think that might be accurate.
		This might be just a place to come to fuck around.
		Why would you want to fix us?
		So what?
		So we can make more?
		There's already six billion of us.
		Why would you want to make more?
		In the last hundred years, how many more people have been born?
		Something like four or five fucking billion?
		I mean, it's getting pretty nutty, man.
		This motherfucker's going to get overcrowded soon.
		If you're going to fix us, it would have to be a radical changing.
		It would have to be really radical.
		Because socially, we are not catching up to where we are technologically.
		Our awareness is not up to what we're capable of.
		We're capable of blowing up the whole planet.
		We're capable of creating black holes.
		We're capable of all kinds of nutty shit.
		Just the nuclear arsenal that North Korea possesses.
		Look at those dummies.
		They got one fucking stupid little dude with glasses.
		Makes him shut the lights out at night to save energy.
		Nobody's got any money.
	This motherfucker's got a gang of nuclear weapons.
	Just wanted to launch on people.
unidentified		Eleven...
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Oh, look at this guy.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Eleven Dimensions Explained says...
unidentified		S-Y-Z-G-Y-1-1-1-1-1.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I'll watch that and I still won't learn anymore.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I'll watch it, but I'll still be like, I'm not sure really what they're saying.
unidentified		Okay.
unidentified		A couple more questions and I'll get the fuck out of here.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I hear my little daughter's crying.
		If aliens didn't exist, that says that everyone who was abducted or saw a UFO is crazy.
		No, it doesn't.
		Because first of all, what UFO means is unidentified.
		And let me tell you something, man.
		People are full of shit.
		We did a thing.
		I used to do a show called Game Show in my head.
		I did it for CBS. And it was a hidden camera game show.
		And what the show was, was we would have a contestant, and the contestant would have to convince people to do a bunch of shit, and it would be under a hidden camera.
		And we set up in Hollywood, and this dude, we had a contestant dress up like a newscaster, like a guy who worked for Channel 4 News.
		And he stood there on the street corner, And we had all these cameras pointed on him.
		I mean cameras right on the people.
		And he would go up to people and say, can you do me a favor?
		I'm in a terrible situation.
		We had a situation here earlier.
		And a UFO landed.
		They had to tell the people on camera that a UFO landed.
		And that all these witnesses had seen it.
		But then the witnesses took off.
		So I need you to pretend that you saw it.
		And every fucking person we asked to do that did it.
		I thought no one was going to do it.
		They just stepped right up and they said, so tell us about the experience.
		The guy was like, well, you know, I saw the UFO and Ukraine was silver and lights were on the edge.
		They describe it in detail.
		And I'm sitting there like, what?
		People love to be on camera and people are just generally full of shit.
		And even if they did see something, by the time that story comes around and there's cameras on them and they're being interviewed and they're talking to reporters, that story is going to morph in their memory.
		It's going to change.
		Who knows what the fuck it was?
		It could have been an experimental government jet.
		It could have been a flock of birds at night.
		It could have been a UFO. Who the fuck knows?
		Who knows what it really was?
		But...
		The people that are talking about it are almost all nuts, man.
		They're almost all loony.
		So I think that people see things and then they blow those things up in their head.
		And as far as the abduction experiences, all UFO abduction experiences occur while people are sleeping.
		They're all occurring like late at night.
		If you look at them, the bulk of them, except that people are just probably completely insane to think they come and take them, you know, they're in the middle of the day and bring them back and it seems like they're only gone for a second, but really they were gone for days.
		There's some loons that will tell you some stories like that, but I think that what's going on is DMT-related.
		Because we know that the brain produces DMT while a person is in heavy REM sleep.
		And if you smoke DMT, the experience that you have is very much alien.
		It's very much like what you would expect someone to be talking about if they were brought to another world or brought aboard a spaceship.
		I mean, it feels like you're going onto something.
		Who knows what kind of a response you would give these UFO people if you took them and gave them DMT and made them smoke DMT and go, okay, was that what you saw?
		And if they were like, yeah, I was back on the ship, you go, okay, settle down.
		Then you know.
		Then you know what's going on.
		What is that?
		Are they really making contact with entities?
		Is it really their brain and their imagination that becomes supercharged because of this chemical that floods through it?
		And what is imagination exactly?
		People can poo-poo that and say, oh, it's just you're making things up.
		It's hallucinations.
		Is it?
		How do you know that that world is not just as real as this world?
		Just because this world, you can bang on it and make noise.
		You can feel it.
		That doesn't mean it's more real.
		That just means it's solid.
		It's very possible that the world of the imagination, the world of your mind, the world of dreams is really a world, is really another dimension.
unidentified		Who the fuck knows, son?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		Do I believe in ghosts?
		I'm not scared of them.
		I fucking watch those ghost stories.
		I go, what are they scared of?
		These fucking ghosts never kill anybody.
unidentified		You see?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I tell some shit.
		It's amazing how many of those goddamn shows there are though.
		Everybody wants to watch the paranormal.
		Everybody's obsessed with UFOs and everybody's obsessed with shit that's not necessarily real.
		Bigfoot.
		I've always said that killer whales are way more interesting than Bigfoot.
		These super intelligent animals that actually rescue people.
		They kill great white sharks.
		They kill dolphins.
		They're ruthless, crazy, super intelligent animals.
		They play with their dead.
		Like seals.
		You ever see killer whales?
		Like throw a seal up in the air and swat them with their tail and send them flying.
		They're fucking ruthless and they're super smart.
		It's fascinating shit.
		Alright, I think chat roulette.
		If you've been on chat roulette, you've probably seen my dick.
		Sorry.
		No, I never put my dick out of chat roulette.
unidentified		That's just rude, son.
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I think it's funny, though.
		I haven't done it yet.
		I did the other roulette where you just type.
		It's like a one-on-one personal messaging.
		And there's always dudes trying to get like, are you a dude?
		And I would say yes.
		And then they would just fucking hang up on me.
		So I started saying I was a chick.
		And I did a few of those, and I put them up on the forums on joerogan.net.
		It was kind of fun.
		Alright.
		Did Dan Hardy get to lead prog top 10 welterweights and get a title shot?
unidentified		You know?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		I don't know.
		I mean, it's hard to say.
		I think Dan Hardy's an exciting dude.
		He talks a lot of shit.
		He's saying all the right things.
		He's got serious power in his hands.
		It's just whether or not he's going to be able to deal with that fucking wrestling game of GSPs.
		GSP can take you down, man.
		He's such an athlete, man.
		He's so explosive.
		And I think it's just really hard for dudes to avoid that takedown.
		And he gets on top of you and stays on top, he's going to beat your ass.
		You know, the thing about GSP is, will it be a fight like the Thiago Alves fight, where he neutralized Alves, but he never really came close to stopping him?
		Or will it be a fight like the Fitch fight or the BJ fight, where he just gets on top of him and beats the fucking shit out of him?
		Or will Hardy have something up his sleeve?
		Maybe Hardy's takedown defense is better than we thought it is.
		Maybe Hardy has a strategy for how to counter the double and how to stop him when he's coming in.
		Or how to take it to him.
		Or maybe he's gonna pull guard.
		Who the fuck knows what Hardy's gonna do?
		Hardy's a very, very smart guy.
		And he's very confident.
		It's real confidence.
		It's not bullshit.
		He really believes that he's gonna clip GSP and he's gonna rock him and he's gonna go home with the title.
unidentified		Who the fuck knows, son?
joe rogan ▲ ● ▼		It's going to be interesting.
		Spiced bag of ice.
		Oh, spilled bag of ice says that the 11th dimension is in his pants.
		Wow.
		That spilled bag of ice is still around.
		I thought you would have abandoned that Twitter by now.
		You've got a lot of stick-to-itiveness, son.
		Good for you.
		Alright.
		I think that's enough, right?
		It's already 7-11.
		That's a perfect time to end.
		We are proof that aliens exist.
		Perspective.
		Okay, I don't know what you're talking about.
		Now you've done too much drugs.
		You're ruining the whole cause, goddammit.
		I will look one more time for a good question on the forums.joerogan.net.
		And if we cannot find one, we'll wrap it up, bitches.
		Did anyone ever wonder why we lose all the good rappers that have a significant place in hip-hop history?
		Rappers like Tupac, Big E, Big L, Easy E. Well, I don't know who Big L is.
		Easy E, yeah.
		Yet we're stuck with garbage like Nelly and fucking Soldier Boy.
		Yeah, that's interesting.
		I think rappers, man, that life.
		You know, the life is all guns.
		I mean, when you're Tupac and you got fucking machine guns tattooed on your body, it says thug life on your stomach.
		You know, those aren't signs of a long and healthy career.
		He was like the first dude to like cover his body, his whole body with tattoos too.
		They're all doing that now.
		It's really crazy.
		You know, Lil Wayne, I think it's hilarious that Lil Wayne said that he's a gangster, like he told Katie Couric, I'm a gangster, Miss Katie.
		Meanwhile, they put him in jail, they immediately put him in protective custody.
		You're a gangster maybe, and you got all your money and you're outside, but the inside world, no, you are a singer.
		You're an entertainer and it would be awesome if one of those guys fucked your face.
		Not for everybody, for them, for that guy to fuck your face.
		I'm not saying that I'm looking forward to you getting your face fucked.
		But let's be realistic.
		It would happen.
		God damn it.
		You motherfuckers.
		Alright.
		I think that's it.
		There's no more I can say.
		Like I said, I'm going to be at Gotham at Gotham Comedy Club next Friday.
		Next Friday is the 26th for two shows.
		It's almost sold out.
		So if you want to get tickets, you've got to jump on that shit right away.
		It'll definitely be sold out by that day.
		So I'll see you guys then.
		I'll be on Opie and Anthony that Friday in the morning as well.
		Looking forward to that.
		Looking forward to the UFC that Saturday, the 27th.
		That should be fun as fuck and everything else.
		Thank you everybody for tuning in.
		I have kept my promise to keep up this weekly podcast.
		It is now also on iTunes, the audio version.
		It's on iTunes.
		So check it out.
		Thank you guys for your support.
		Thanks for everything.
		And I really appreciate it.
		And I will see you next week.
		Next week I will do this on home Monday.
	I will do this Tuesday next week.
	So I'll see you guys next Tuesday.
	I love you.

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