Joe Rogan and Brian Redban dive into wild tangents—from the 2009 "Underwear bomber" incident (Redban calls it staged) to Ron Paul’s conspiracy theories, dismissed as absurd yet intriguing, and debates on free will, comparing humans to programmed bees. They mock internet rumors like Alex Jones being Bill Hicks and question if technology could merge minds or create AI with rights, referencing I Am Robot’s Mac-like robots. Rogan’s skepticism of religious texts (only 3/4 Hebrew words understood in 2009) clashes with his fascination for psychedelics and evolution, while Redban jokes about "boobs for men" and AI abuse. The episode ends with chaotic theories—Kali Yuga, 2012’s "internet turning on," and Rogan’s upcoming comedy shows—leaving listeners questioning reality’s boundaries. [Automatically generated summary]
to forums.joerogan.net to the official 1229 Ustream podcast thread where the questions are not limited to a gay 140 characters.
That shit's ridiculous.
Do you think there will be one world government in our life and how do you think it will actually affect us?
I think that's possible.
It's very possible.
If they can get the money sorted out between all these fucking scumbags that run these world governments, yeah, they would all agree to one gigantic system of government.
The problem with one gigantic system of government is that even though it would be harder for corruption, it would be...
It's also harder to keep people in line because you have to have enemies.
You have to have, like, you know, the Turks hate the fucking Iranians hate this, hate the that.
If you don't have that conflict, it's very difficult to keep people in line.
You know, and if we were all the United States of America, then we'd start arguing about money.
We'd start arguing about taxes.
We'd start arguing...
Even if we're all one thing, it makes it very difficult to do.
But as far as, like, giant international banks, They might already be in cahoots or close enough to one world government.
I mean, there might be like a few that are really pulling the strings and running things, but I mean...
It's all good on paper, but anything that you do on the internet now, like dudes who play poker, you never know if you're playing poker against a real dude.
You could usually be playing poker against a computer, right?
I mean, I don't know what kind of programs they run, but it seems to me like at this point in time, people can hack just about anything.
I mean, there's programs like, that's the problem with these drones that they have.
UNDERCOVERED! You guys probably didn't hear that but he thinks it's pretty ridiculous how one guy did all that and that's how bad our security is and now shit's all fucked up from that one dude.
Joe is not, we're not reading the chat on Ustream.
Joe is only doing the Twitter, so if you want to have a message, Joe will answer it if you put it on Twitter, or Joe Rogan's website, which is forums.joerogan.net.
He's taking a shit right now, so he'll be right back.
I wanted to be able to just man up and push through the whole Ustream, but I was like, I'm going to do a bad job because I'm going to just be thinking about this dump I have to take.
So what were we talking about before I took off?
off because it was kind of important stuff.
unidentified
I think the one more thing is the Oh, that was the first question.
I had a lot more faith before Obama got elected, I'll tell you that.
I thought that maybe what we had was a corrupt situation, and that Bush and Cheney were corrupt, and that if we got somebody else in there, maybe they could straighten everything out.
But after Obama got elected, man, it became pretty clear to me that someone else besides the president obviously is pulling the strings.
Obama didn't want to send more troops.
Obama didn't want to go to Afghanistan to bring more people to Afghanistan.
He wanted to pull out of Guantanamo Bay and close Guantanamo Bay down.
All that shit, but I don't think he gets to say what the fuck they do.
Or he was just saying that kind of shit to get elected.
You know, I mean, the old Bill Hicks joke comes to mind.
You know, that American politics is...
You know, I like the puppet on the right.
Well, I find the puppet to the left to be more to my liking.
Hacked the 21-year-old code that scrambles our phone calls on cell phones.
So now, and the guys, the hackers, put it on the internet so anyone could have it.
So now, I mean, of course, it's probably not going to happen to us anytime soon, but now there's actually people that have the code that they can listen to your phone calls.
Five years ago, you put a picture on your Facebook, a Christmas photo that has your bookshelf in the background.
Now, present day, that's going to start researching every single book that's on your shelf and it's going to put in a database somewhere and a GPS location.
You know what I mean?
When you're searching for something, you're going to be like, oh, Joe has that book at home.
I think what's happening with Twitter and what's happening with Facebook and what's happening with just the internet in general is there's way more connectivity between all human beings and a part of that is access to information.
So that information is not going to be like it is now.
It's not going to be private.
I think eventually technology will come to the point where lying will be absolutely impossible and you will know everything that everybody else knows.
And everyone's going to try to hold back on it for a while because people have a lot of dirty secrets.
They do a lot of creepy shit.
But I think ultimately it's probably going to be good for everybody.
I do think that that's where we're headed.
I think we're headed to a point where everybody has access to All the information that everybody else has.
And not just like you go on the internet and you search for it.
Not like in a rudimentary way where you have to actively look for it.
I think it's going to be right there.
I think they're going to eventually get to a point where there's some sort of technology that's created that allows...
Human minds to interface with other human minds.
I think that's definitely where this is all going.
I mean, when there's talk of neural implants and all these different things, people think that's all crazy, but that's a small step from where we are in comparison to where we were just a couple hundred years ago.
I mean, a couple hundred years ago, The fastest mode of transportation was riding a fucking animal.
Think about that.
300 years ago, the fastest shit on land is to ride an animal.
Or have an animal pull you behind something with wheels.
But, I mean, think about what a monumental leap between the transference of information today in 2009 and in 1709. I mean, think about what we can do right now.
We can send a fucking picture across...
You know, space.
Send it through the air and it literally arrives.
I mean, if I have a friend in the UK and I want to send him a picture and a text message, I can take the picture, send it, and it gets to him.
We don't even – we can't even fathom how nuts that is because we do it all the time.
What's coming next is going to make that seem like riding a horse.
That's what's happening.
That's what I think is happening.
That's what I think is this whole...
This rush for information that everybody has.
This insane desire that human beings have for the newest, greatest, latest technology.
Even when you don't need it.
People are always trying to...
Pump up their computers.
The only reason why you need a pumped up computer really is to play video games or if you're crunching video, like he needs stuff like that when he makes videos just for raw computing power.
Do you think it's ever gonna get to a point where bandwidth will be so broad and like mobile functions, like laptops and phones, like those little mobile cards, it'll be so powerful that it'll be just like your home?
There's been speculation that it's been fucking with bees.
And there's also been speculation that it's some crazy virus.
I've read that as well.
But there's also been speculation that Wi-Fi signals and cell phone signals that it fucks with bees' ability to transmit.
We did a thing for Fear Factor once with bees, man, and it was a fucking trip because this guy was a beekeeper and he had all these bees that he brought with him.
So the stunt was these dudes, they had to be strapped to this pole.
We strapped them to the pole and then we'd cover them with bees and they'd have to stand there for like five minutes.
They were getting fucked up because every now and then the bees would argue or something and they'd sting the dude and it was bad.
They got stung up.
Well, while this was all going on, while this guy's tending to these bees and caring for these bees, a local swarm of bees came in.
So our bees and their bees were talking it out.
And we had to back up.
Everybody had to get off the set, we had to close down the set, we had to close down the stunt, and everybody had to move back.
And the beekeeper's saying, we've got, you know, a local, local band of bees has moved in.
I forget what he calls them.
I didn't, a hive or, I don't know.
But that's like a...
I don't know, whatever.
A local band of bees had moved in to sort it out with these bees.
So our bees and their bees were just this fucking swarm in the sky.
And they were fighting.
They were just talking.
Like, so what's up?
What are you guys doing?
Oh, working for Fear Factor, you know.
Working for Fear Factor, we got some dudes who are going to cover them in bees and shit.
They were like working out what was going on.
And then they resolved their differences and the local bees went a separate way and then his bees stayed.
It also, you know, a lot of speculation about autism is the age of the parents and that women are having babies like into their 30s and 40s and that increases the risk.
A lot of people have talked about that.
That's very, very possible.
It makes sense, man.
You know, when...
We're just older and smarter and we look at it now and we say, well, God, how stupid would it be to have a kid when you're 18?
When you're 18, you're an idiot, which is absolutely true.
But when you're an 18-year-old idiot, your genetics are much stronger and you could have a kid and the kid probably wouldn't be as fucked up.
I mean, the reality is, even though we're lengthening our lifetimes with nutrition and, you know, science, and we're figuring out a way to make people live longer, really, people aren't supposed to live much longer than, like, 50, you know?
I mean, back in the day, if you lived to be 50, holy shit, you pulled off an amazing thing, you know?
But not anymore.
Now, people are living to be 110 and you got Sylvester Stallone is 62 years old and he's fucking yoked and shredded.
Yeah, I mean, 18-year-old girls would definitely give you the better genetics.
The real question, though, is do you get anything other than hair, color, eye, color, personality?
Do you get learned experiences?
And is it better off to have a parent with a lot of experiences?
Are those experiences transferred through DNA? I never thought of that.
Because they didn't used to think it was.
They used to think that ideas were native to the person who had the idea.
But now they're starting to think that memes can actually be transferred through genetics.
And that useless traits, even like racism, can be transferred through genetics.
And it kind of makes sense because there's a lot of things that we have inside our genetics and our instincts that are basically ancient learned things.
Like, for instance, this dude named Rupert Sheldrake.
Rupert Sheldrake is like this Evolutionary biologist dude.
And he pointed out that children that live in New York City, they don't have dreams about muggers or car accidents.
They have nightmares about monsters.
About scary monsters.
And the reason they have nightmares about scary monsters is because back in our heads, somewhere deep in our DNA, we remember back when we were like monkeys.
When we were these little apes hanging around in trees and you're running away from big cats.
And that shit is always in our head because that is, like, the number one thing that was fed off chimps and apes is big cats.
Big cats are constantly killing monkeys and chimps and apes.
And that's, like, when they find, like, old human beings, like, you know, the evolutionary versions of human beings, you know, subhuman hominoids, they find all their skeletons, like, a lot of them have, like, big fucking cat bites, big, you know, markings.
So that's, like...
That's like some memory that we have ingrained in our genetics, in whoever the fuck we are.
It's very possible that if you're like 18 years old and you fuck a chick and she's 18, you're both retarded, you're going to have a dumbass kid.
It might not just be your hair color and your eye color and how tall you're going to be.
It might be your actual experiences and your human potential.
Yeah, maybe if you're a loser, like, if you're a fucking drunk, if you get hammered and you're fucked up and your life is in the toilet and, you know, you bang some chick who's, you know, on the rebound and, you know, her old boyfriend needs to beat her and you shoot a load in her, maybe a kid would be just, like, really fucking dumb and prone to make terrible mistakes, you know?
I mean, maybe he can get past it, but maybe his inclination, like, maybe we start off in a certain place in life not just based on The economic situation that our parents are in, and who the people we grow up with, and what our genetics are.
Maybe our position starts out based on what the parents were thinking and doing when they fucked and conceived you.
Maybe if that's the lowest point in their life, not even because of the way they raise you, they could take you away and raise you in an orphanage somewhere totally different, but your potential is limited by The circumstances in which you were conceived.
If you haven't seen Roadhouse, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
If you haven't seen Showgirls, drop this chat and either download it or go to the video store and do something.
You've got to watch Showgirls.
Showgirls is awesome.
Just a quintessential movie where the people who are doing the movie were just gacked out of their fucking minds on cocaine and they made a terrible movie that makes no sense.
And it's so bad that it's good.
It's like perfect.
It's just one of those movies that just perfectly crosses over into parody to the point where you can watch it over and over and over again.
Showgirls and Roadhouse are both basically the same movie.
They're both movies where it's like they got people that were just full of themselves enough and just underestimating the intelligence of the viewers enough and just hack enough and just, you know, they just followed the dumbest formula lines possible.
The difference between Roadhouse and Showgirls though is that Roadhouse seems to be raw stupidity on its own.
Whereas Showgirls is the most obvious cocaine movie of all time.
Because it's just so dumb.
Like, you had to be on coke to think that that was a good movie.
Like, if you made that movie and you weren't on coke, you would watch the dailies and you'd be like, what the fuck are we doing?
What are we doing?
What is this movie?
But if you're on coke, you're like, yeah, it's fucking awesome.
My act is the part about how if we didn't have a nose and you had a, if you smell a fart, and this is for the people that are watching this, this is the idea is that we don't have any idea if there's more around us all the time that we can't sense.
And it's very possible that there is.
And what I say is the fart theory.
And the fart theory is if someone farted and you couldn't smell it, you'd have no idea that there's something around you.
It's totally, completely invisible.
But if someone farts, you'd fucking smell it.
But if you didn't have a nose, you'd be just sitting in someone's stench.
How do we not know that there aren't an infinite amount of things that we just can't detect?
And that smell, even though we can detect, it's for biological reasons.
You know, you smell gas, you know it's dangerous for you, you smell fire, get away.
There's a reason why we have a sense of smell.
It's good for us, but what if we didn't?
If we didn't, it would be an invisible thing.
And it's just our imagination that limits The possibilities of how many other invisible things there are around us all the time that we can't detect.
There's all sorts of animals like worms.
You take your hand, you roll it over a worm, you know, above a worm.
They have no idea you're there.
They have no idea.
It's very possible that if that exists in nature, that there's also some shit like that with human beings.
It's very possible that we are constantly, like the idea of dimensions.
Dimensions might be dimensions of perception.
We just might not have the ability to perceive All these other things that are around us all the time.
I mean that could be like bad energy like you go into a house.
Many people have told stories that they go into a house where people have been murdered and they can feel it.
They can feel fucked up energy in the house.
That all might be real shit.
We don't have a name for it and we're not good at detecting it.
We call it a sense or a feeling.
That might be real energy that you're detecting.
We're just not evolved enough to the point where we can really tune into it yet.
There's just one guy that's at the head of the cause, Peter Duesberg.
And they're all saying that HIV does not cause AIDS and that HIV is a very weak virus and that the only reason why HIV exists in the systems of these people that have AIDS is because their immune system is so compromised that it can't even kill off HIV. Well, I think it's really weird that most of the people that have AIDS are drug users and gays.
So it has something to do with the immune system, but then you can get fucking, what's his name, the basketball player that had fake AIDS. That's the other thing is that people test negative after a while.
Like human beings are eventually merging into one thing.
I mean, that's the...
The whole ancient line in Eastern mysticism and Eastern religion is that we are all one.
We are one consciousness, like the Bill Hicks joke, experiencing itself subjectively.
That's the Timothy Leary ideology, the ideology of all the psychedelic heads, all the people that really got into heavy-duty psychedelic drugs.
It's that it's this one thing.
and that we can't recognize that we're one thing because we have ego and we have survival and we have all these things but that our technology and the technology forcing us to evolve that the access to information that technology provides Eventually will cause human beings, all human beings, to converge and literally be like one consciousness.
If I know all your thoughts, I know all your information, and we have an access to it, an interface that's much less crude than what we have now with typing and with researching or watching documentaries, what if it's like an instant access, a human neurotransplant, something that allows all of us To link up our minds together.
That's not that outside of the realm of possibility.
That to me seems just as likely as the ability to send a picture through the internet on your phone.
That's just as fucking crazy that you can send video through the air and you can watch a YouTube video on your iPhone and you're like, what the fuck?
I mean, it's just coming through the air and you put the headphones on and it's in stereo.
I'm like, what?
That's going through the fucking sky!
It's just as likely that human beings are eventually going to come to some sort of a technological invention.
We're going to come to something that allows all human beings to interface together.
It might be through this thing.
It might be something you put on and everybody else that has it on all links in together.
Or it might eventually become something you put in your body.
Or it might be something they broadcast through the fucking air that links people together.
I was listening to the Art Bell show about some lady who donated her...
She got a liver from somebody in an operation, and right immediately after the operation, she started having cravings for whatever this dude used to like to eat.
And I think if I was in the room with Jesse Ventura, I'm certain I would have handled it different than Jimmy did.
But Jimmy's one of those dudes where...
Jim Norton, fantastic comedian, funniest guy on radio, without a doubt, by far.
He's one of those dudes that when he, you know, when he's in the face of someone who's like a bully, he doesn't like that shit.
He doesn't stand up to that shit well.
And he feels like that Jesse, like, has this slow burn in his eyes and, I'm a Navy SEAL, and all that shit, and that you're supposed to listen to him because of that.
And Jim Norton just ain't buying that.
And that's why Jimmy just shut him down and clowned him.
That's just what he does.
He's not good at people being bullies.
I respect that.
People that meditate have large frontal lobe cortexes, study show, says Pete Shreds.
I wonder, that's very possible, right?
It's very possible that it changes the way your brain works.
I mean, if you lift weights, it changes the way your muscles look.
If you exercise your mind in certain ways, don't you think it would make that happen?
Brian is going to smoke marijuana live right here on Ustream.
Thank God it's all legal, supposedly.
That's the only thing Obama's done that he said he would do.
He's not going after weed.
Ridiculous.
Alright, what else?
What else, party people?
Let's go to the Rogan board and read some of the questions that you find people have.
What is my opinion on free will?
Your blog talks about how we're all living through different circumstances, which is very true, but it seems to denote the power of free will, which kind of sucks.
I don't know.
I start thinking about free will.
I think about free will in a couple of different ways.
I think it's very possible that you are shaping your own destiny and that you can Choose your path and you can go through this life and make something of yourself.
The fact that you did it by yourself and you have free will, it's all good.
I think that's very possible.
But I think it's also possible that life itself is a gigantic mathematical algorithm.
That all life itself is like a gigantic mathematical equation.
And that it just doesn't seem like an equation because we're a part of it.
But like that everything, your personality, your biology, your circumstances, your experiences, they're all set up in line to put you in a very specific position, to move forward in a very specific way, to interface with all the other very specific things that are around you.
All the other very specific people, very specific events, and that the idea is that The idea of free will is sort of a misnomer.
You have instincts and you have experiences that guide you into a certain way.
Say if you drank poison and you almost died and it was terrible and you didn't know it was poison.
Well, you'll be much more careful next time and you won't drink poison.
The circumstance that you've experienced has led you in a very specific way.
And that your experiences literally are set up as a part of a mathematical equation.
And that it's all to lead this entire human race, which is really just one organism, one gigantic super organism, to lead this entire human race into a very specific place for a very specific purpose.
That's possible.
You know, I don't like to think it.
You know, when your ego has any control whatsoever over your mind, your ego wants you to think that, no, you know, I am in control of my whole life.
I have done what I have done and I am proud of all that I have done because it's my own accomplishments.
But really it might be you're following a program.
It really might be we're all a part of this gigantic program that's, you know, and that all this, you know...
Ego justification, ego gratification, sex and love and fun and happiness and all these things are really just numbers and equations and the powerful number that you get from love forces you to be in love and have children and to create more people and to be good to those people and those people create more good people.
And that these rewards are all in fact set up as a part of an equation to move the human race into one specific place.
That everyone is working together all over the world and we just don't realize it.
We don't know what sort of a culture bees have, but we know that they don't have books.
They can't study their past.
They can't study their history.
I mean, how conscious, how aware are they?
And are they just going through the motions because that's how they're programmed?
And if that's the case, if that's the case with wolves and bears and every other animal that sort of goes through these natural motions to achieve a specific result...
Maybe that's what we're doing.
Maybe we're just doing it and it's way more complicated because what we're doing is we're actually changing our environment.
We're changing the world.
We're creating computers and creating technology and we're involved.
We're the only animal on the planet that's involved in this symbiotic relationship with another life form and that other life form is technology.
I mean, if you don't classify life as something that has a heartbeat and something that bleeds, but if you classify life as something that evolves and changes and grows and something that is inexorably linked to human beings, technology is just like a virus.
Technology is just like something, some sort of a bacteria that's in your system that you can't get out of.
You know, you have a lot of healthy bacteria in your body all the time, and you have a symbiotic relationship with this healthy bacteria, and it keeps you alive, and it actually fights off other bacteria.
I mean, that's what probiotics are.
That's what acidophilus is.
You're taking in a live culture that will be your warriors, and they will fight off bad bacteria.
Well, it's very possible that that's what technology is.
Technology is a life force that we are interfaced with.
We have a symbiotic relationship with this other thing, and we need it to keep us alive.
We need it to keep the power on, to keep us warm in cold climates, to make sure your car gets you to work, to make sure that the airbag goes off to save your life, and all this shit is designed to help us, but in turn, we keep it going.
We look at old cars on the side of the road that are broken down and dead, and those things are just like dead bodies.
Cars that are old that stay alive, that's just like when you're like, wow, that's fucking cool.
That's just like seeing an old man at the gym with big muscles like, holy shit!
Literally, technology and things that we create, we are helping those things evolve.
We are helping those things evolve with our materialism, with our obsession with technology.
We are trying to always constantly get the newer, better, cooler shit.
And in doing that and in supplying that, we are forcing people to work in that industry and continue to evolve technology.
I mean, it's very possible that it's all one fucking big thing.
The problem with the direct messages is that everybody else can't see it.
And one of the cool things about Kevin Smith is that all these people were following Kevin Smith and you get to see everybody saw Kevin Smith responded to you.
And our question earlier when we were talking about can poker...
These bots on poker sites...
PokerJ...
John Carlos Alvarado, who's on the Rogan board, says, Poker sites catch bots with a program that can see if you click the same pixel every time you make a move.
Well, now they have the technology where they can just sit there and record every single phone call and it transcribes it like dragon speak but times 50 technology and it pretty much looks for keywords like money, drug, you know...
If I had you a little dick, I would cry myself to sleep every night.
Did you see?
Somebody posted this on the board today about Indian men and that there's like some, what is it, 60% of Indian men, I don't know if this is a true statistic, somebody, I've been rocked, posted it, so take it with a grain of salt.
A survey of more than a thousand men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for the majority of Indian men.
Scientists even checked their sample, checked to see if their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion, and urban and rural dwellers.
So even like the peasants, you know, even the slaves in India have little dicks.
Well, there was a lot of white guys who would fuck their black slaves.
That was very common.
And have babies with their black slaves.
What a fuck that must have been.
How weird must that have been to the guy who was the father Would fuck the slave, have a baby with the slave, the slave would have his baby, and he would see this half-white baby, and he would just leave the half-white baby with the slaves and let them take care of it.
Like, he wouldn't even bring it in as his kid, just because of a race thing.
You know, a funny thing about witchcraft in America, like everybody knows about the Salem witch trials.
Well, what I read, the biggest connection they have to what happened there and then, why everybody thought they were being possessed and there was witchcraft going on, was that there was a late frost and that the wheat got frozen and when it thawed out, apparently when that happens, when there's a late frost and wheat freezes and thaws out, it grows a certain fungus on it.
And this certain fungus is called ergot.
And ergot has, it's like really similar, uh, or identical rather chemically to LSD. So when they would take this bread that they would make from this wheat that had grown this fungus on it, these people would fucking trip their balls off.
They would have these crazy, horrifying, bad acid trips.
So they literally thought they were under a spell, which totally makes sense.
And they just started burning bitches.
And women always want to say that it's, oh, you know, men were, you know, back then, you know, men were, the spell that a woman would cast upon her, you know, upon him with her beauty was just too perplexing and the men couldn't deal with the fact that women had all those powers that killed them.
Eh, come on.
Guys have been raping chicks forever.
You tell me they've got to stop back then?
This is not that perplexing.
Guys want to shoot a load, they shoot a load.
Guys want to shoot a load, they jerk off, they don't want to shoot a load anymore.
They're not going to start brewing people because they want to fuck them.
I don't believe that.
I think it's a much more likely scenario that this fungus grew on this wheat because they had already taken soil samples and so they had known from their, you know, whatever climatological studies they used to figure out how cold it was during a specific time that there was a late frost.
There was some evidence that there was a late frost and that this ergot was also found somehow or another during this time period.
So, I think it's just speculation, but it's much more educated speculation than the idea that the men were under the spell of these women and they decided to kill them.
That doesn't make any sense.
I think they probably did the acid from the wheat and then killed the cunts.
That's probably what it was.
You know, that's why it was a witch trial.
Those were probably the cuntiest women in the town.
Like, you sit and talk about, like, asteroid impacts.
Oh, the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
Or the one that killed, you know, everything before that.
The mass extinction before that 250 million years ago.
Or the one that ended the Ice Age 10,500 years ago.
I mean, there's all this speculation about asteroids.
But the real reality is there are gigantic, hundreds of thousands of gigantic rocks in space that can fuck us up.
And every now and then, one comes crashing down.
It's happened many, many, many, many, many times over the history of the life of the Earth.
It's happened so many times.
And it could easily happen today.
It could easily happen tomorrow.
You could easily have one that comes from behind the sun and we can't see it until it's too late.
And then, boom!
fucks the whole world up.
That's so possible.
We don't like to think it's possible because it's never happened, but I always like to, I always say it's like an anthill.
That human life is like an anthill.
Like if you are an ant and you're living in an anthill, you were probably born in that anthill and that anthill is all you've ever known.
I mean, how long do ants live?
Like a week, a couple weeks, something like that.
So say like this anthill's been around for six months.
That's That's been through the generations after generations long dead have made this anthill.
And then, you know, you're toiling away in your little anthill and one day some kid is walking through the field and he sees that anthill and just boom, boom, just starts to stomp on it for no fucking reason.
And then your anthill's crushed out of nowhere.
You never thought it was going to happen.
It's always been fine.
Everything's always been cool at the anthill.
If you had a Take a guess and you had to make a gamble, you would say, yeah, yeah, this anthill's always gonna be here.
Shit's coming from the North Pole and the South Pole, and you never know where something's coming from.
I mean, it could be coming from anywhere.
You never know.
There could be something heading our way that we just haven't picked up on.
It could be behind something, we don't see it.
Gravity distorts our view of things as well.
Like if you look at the sun, you can literally, you know, you look at the sun of the telescope, you can see things behind the sun because of the distortion and the gravity of the sun because it's so massive.
I don't understand how that works, but that apparently is how it works.
And so there's occasionally things that could be hiding behind something that's coming straight at us and we don't even fucking see it until it's too late.
You know, there's just not enough human beings out there monitoring the sky to really accurately predict, you know, oh, we have 100% clear skies, nothing's going to hit us for the next 200 years.
They don't know that.
They can't say that.
There's always something that comes real close that just barely misses us and they go, whoa, holy shit, that was three miles long and it missed us by 200,000 miles.
That's not much, you know?
unidentified
Okay, let's go to some questions you dirty bitches.
The real problem with believing in God is that believing in God just makes people feel better.
It's not saying that God doesn't exist.
It's very possible that God exists.
But you don't have the information.
No one does.
You can decide that you have that information because it empowers you.
You can decide that there's a God because it makes you feel more comfortable, or it makes you feel more, you know, that there's a future to this world, and after you die, there's something waiting for you, and that gives you confidence, and that gives you, it can empower you.
And that works for a lot of people.
I know a lot of fighters who are very religious, and that belief in God, that actually empowers them.
And it can work that way, but it really is just It's just a psychological tool that they're using to empower them.
It doesn't necessarily help them.
What helps them is the state of mind that they put themselves in by believing in God.
It's really kind of a funny thing.
It's a catch-22.
Believing in God can empower you.
The ideas of Christianity are very empowering ideas.
The ideas that love your man as if he's you and do unto others as if you would have them do unto yourself and turn the other cheek and don't be violent and be helping and be loving.
And be humble and worship God.
The idea of God, what God is, God is life and energy and the whole universe and that you treat the whole process as its one gigantic, fantastic thing.
And that in going to a religious service and practicing any sort of a religion and sticking to a certain ethic, that what you're doing is committing to positive energy.
And if you commit to that positive energy and those positive thoughts and that positive way of thinking, that's empowering.
And that really will help you.
And if you really do believe that you have a destiny and that God has carved out this destiny for you, that's an empowering thing.
That shit will absolutely make you better at things.
You say, that's evidence of God, that's evidence of Jesus.
Well, maybe, but more likely it's evidence that you've put yourself in the exact proper state of mind to achieve things.
By thinking positive and having positive energy and being a loving Christian, by doing all those things, you've put the good energy out there and you've given yourself confidence because you're doing the right thing and you've given yourself a strong belief in yourself because you're following the right path.
And in doing that, that's very empowering.
That's how God is real.
That's how religion is real.
But what it really all is, at the heart of it, is you tuning in to the correct frequency of the universe with the least amount of resistance.
The least amount of resistance from you.
The least amount of negative thinking.
The least amount of...
When I was a kid, I'd get in arguments all the time with everybody about anything.
And really...
I was just a knucklehead.
I was just a dumb fuck.
But I didn't realize that by doing that, by creating all this drama in my life, it was just distracting the shit out of me and it was keeping me from doing things that I wanted to do.
It was keeping me from being happy and comfortable and friendly.
I was constantly in a state of causing trouble.
And causing drama and creating all these obstacles in my own life.
And I didn't realize it at the time.
And I always thought of people that were religious.
I always thought, well, there's got to be a lot of power in that.
Because I was afraid of a dude who was religious, who was on one of the U.S. Taekwondo teams back when I was fighting.
There was this dude, I think his name was Bobby Clayton.
I think that's his name.
He wasn't the best guy, but he was crazy religious, and that used to scare the shit out of me.
This dude used to read the Bible every day, and this dude was super, super, super religious, and he really believed in himself.
I was not very religious.
Even though I was doing really well in these tournaments, and I was beating a lot of really good guys, there was something about this dude and his religion that scared me.
On paper, he shouldn't have been the scariest guy to me, but he was, for whatever reason, because this dude was really religious.
That belief that he had in himself, the belief in his faith, all that shit is empowering to him, and I recognize that it was empowering to him, that he was really legit about it, and that his super religious behavior, he was never...
He never swore.
He didn't drink.
He was friendly to everyone.
He was really, really, really dedicated.
And that made me nervous.
I think religion is empowering.
Brian has been a huge...
I'm an advocate of Scientology ever since he moved to Hollywood, right?
This is, it's gonna be hard for this picture to live up to the hype of me fiddling through my fucking computer for five minutes trying to get this picture to you guys.
But once you get the picture, I think you'll appreciate what the fuck I'm saying.
Because it's so ridiculous that this thing was growing in my goddamn toilet.
I think time is, you know, I mean we already know that time changes when you go fast.
Like if someone's in a super fast spaceship, you know, and they go at the speed of light, like time goes by much quicker on Earth than it does in their plane.
So if they come back in their super fast spaceship, you know, for them it's only been a year, but for us it could be like a hundred years, depending on how far and fast they go.
So time moves in a way that I don't think it's the way we look at it.
I don't think it's as cut and dry.
Like, you know, this is midnight and this is one o'clock.
I think it's...
It's much more dependent upon the state that the human being is in, like the frequency the person's in, where the person's living, you know, that you're living on Earth, you know, this dimension, you know, that time varies throughout other dimensions, and you can access those dimensions.
I mean, if they really do come up with ships that can fly through space at, you know, close to the speed of light or something, they really will be able to go to a place where they're literally going forward in time.
They'll have lived one year, they come back to Earth, and hundreds of years have gone by.
That's nutty shit, and that's real.
I don't think we understand time enough.
I think time is one of those things that we think we've got a grip on what it really is, but it's probably far more complex and confusing and variable than we think.
If not telepathy, what's next for human evolution?
Probably a reversal.
If not telepathy, I think we're in a race right now.
Between technology and retards.
Between technology and caveman style living.
You know, they're talking about invading Pakistan, invading Yemen and more war and more craziness.
You know, we're at a crossroads.
And I think we could either get hit by a meteor or blow ourselves up or...
Figure out the next level.
Figure out what's going to take human beings from where we are to the next stage of existence, which is like a real thing.
I mean, I think we're really going to evolve.
We're really moving towards something new.
You know, I think that's what this frantic fucking society we live in is all about.
I think we're pushing and moving towards something, all working together towards something.
And I think it's going to be technology driven.
So it's one of those things.
Either that's going to happen, there's going to be some sort of a technologically birthed connection that all people all of a sudden share, some sort of a convergence of all human beings.
It's either going to be that or it's going to be we blow ourselves up or a meteor fucks us up or Yellowstone explodes and we start from scratch.
I mean, they can make so many things artificially.
They figured out a way to make pork in a laboratory.
Actually, the meat.
They could take some of the meat from a pig and they make it in a laboratory.
The problem is it's not really, like, mushy because it doesn't exercise at all and it's not, like, taut sinew.
But they're trying to figure out a way to maybe electrically exercise the muscle.
You could literally, like, just make gigantic, like, rooms full of meat, you know?
That doesn't even have a life attached to it.
If they can do that, If they can do that, why can't they, if they can figure out a way to grow meat, why can't they figure out a way to make an artificial human being?
That's gonna be just like Blade Runner, though.
They're gonna be all sad and shit.
They don't wanna kill you.
You know?
I mean, you have to give them emotions.
If you don't give them emotions, then, you know, they can't relate to people, they can't empathize with people, then they just go on mad raping and killing sprees.
Because if you make artificial people, what if they get hard-ons and shit?
I mean, if you make the females, you can make males too.
Like for old gay dudes.
You know?
Like, dudes would want, you know, like, to have a robot fuck doll, right?
But gay dudes would want some robot gay dude that they can fuck, you know?
Can you imagine if they could make, like, a real live, like, say if there was a guy who was your neighbor who was really creepy and he was fixated on you, and he'd make a robot that looks exactly like you and just fuck it all day long and punch it and tie it up and shit on its head.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
So literally next door to your fucking house, this guy's like putting the robot head out the window and waving to you.
Look, I'm pissing his mouth.
And it's like you, but it's a fake you.
And he's just fucking it up all day.
How disturbing would that be?
There's nothing you can do about it.
Do you have the papers on this?
It's not a real human, sir.
And he shows the papers.
Okay, I guess it's a robot.
I mean, if it's a robot, right?
Look, I have a grappling dummy in my garage that I use when I practice my jujitsu.
You know, and you can practice positions on it.
It's called a Bubba Dummy.
It's a Gracie You can buy it from the Gracie Academy in Torrance.
They're the ones who start selling it on their website.
I forget what the website is.
But if you look up Bubba Dummy, it's a dummy that's just designed for Jiu Jitsu.
And we filmed once, playing around.
Remember, we were in the garage.
We were beating the shit out of it and kicking in.
What if that was a real person?
I mean, it's a dummy that we made.
But what if it's a robot person?
What if there's a robot person that you could practice Jiu Jitsu on?
You could rape him.
You could punch him in the face.
You could just beat the shit out of him.
You could chop his arms off.
He'd be screaming and yelling.
And the cops come and go, look, it's a fake person.
You know, those questions though, you can ask a dog to bark once for yes and bark two for no and have the same percentage of the outcome of the question and the answer.
You know what I mean?
Like if you say, yeah, that person's going to win.
So if there's like a micrometeor that comes from outer space and could potentially hit me in the deck, it's going to hit my cell phone first or perhaps my wallet.
I think if anything came out of this, somewhere, someone right now is thinking about designing A robot where you clone your neighbor and make a robot out of them and then fuck them and rape them in front of them.
Somebody is thinking about that and I think if this chat has done anything good for the world, it's introduced that idea, that possibility out there.
But they'll probably have more problems than we have now.
We'll probably look back on these days and go, remember the simple times when you just get on the internet and drive to work and you don't have to worry about monsters and aliens and UFOs and fucking, you know, the hyena flu that's killing everybody lately, you know?
That's the next one.
Something scary.
Like, pig flu doesn't scare you.
Bird flu doesn't scare you.
The fucking hyena flu is gonna scare the shit out of you, you know?
My cats started pissing in my office right after my child was born.
Transparent little cunt.
So obvious what you wanted, dirty little bitch.
A couple more questions here.
Let's go to the Rogan board and see if we got a good question there.
Do you ever get mad?
Like, can anything actually piss you off to the point where Rogan smashed?
I get upset.
It would have to be pretty fucking a bad situation to get me that upset.
I'm pretty rational when it comes to most things.
I have a...
I mean, everyone has the ability to freak out over something.
It's just whether or not you choose to let yourself get there.
I think the most important thing about not getting mad is to manage your biology.
You've got to treat your biology like it's a bank account.
If you're in debt, you owe it something.
If you're overdrafted, You owe yourself an expenditure of energy, especially if you have a certain type of body.
If you have a muscular body, if you have a person who's engaged in athletics your whole life, you have a body that's used to exerting a lot of energy.
Well, you owe it to that body.
You have a debt to pay.
And if you don't pay that debt, you're going to have a problem where you're going to have too much energy that's stored up and built in and not blown out.
And it's going to come out in unusual ways, like in traffic or at work.
Or whatever.
You'll start screaming and freaking out about something you really didn't need to.
And really, it's all just about managing your biology.
Managing your thoughts.
It's very important to have some downtime where you can sit alone by yourself and just think.
That's very, very important.
For me, the isolation tank does that like times a hundred.
That's my favorite.
But sometimes even just sitting on the couch and just by myself, just thinking.
You know, you can call it meditation, you can call it whatever the fuck you want.
Just spending time to organize your thoughts and put your mind in a certain place.
Put your body in a certain place with exercise, with yoga, with nutrition, all that shit's important.
You gotta manage your biology.
And when you manage your biology, it makes managing your mind much, much easier.
Managing your mind, managing your biology, that's the key to not getting upset at things.
It seems the best art is created from the starving artist.
Being wealthy, do you feel it hurts your ability to create art, comedy, or do you believe that not having to worry about your financial well-being allows you more time to be creative?
That's a very good question.
I think a lot of times people are much more ambitious when they're starving.
They have much more energy.
They have much more But that doesn't mean that you can't have a lot of dedication towards something when you become successful.
It all depends on what was your motivation in the first place.
If your motivation in the first place was recognition and, you know, adulation and then you become famous and then you get that, then you have no motivation to keep going.
But if your motivation is the actual art itself, is creating new things, then I think you can be more free as you become successful because you're in a position where you don't have to worry about money anymore.
So you have one less thing to think about.
And you're ambitious in the sense of being creative.
Instead of concentrating on money, your mind is not geared on that.
Your mind is geared on the art.
That's how I like to think that I am and when I'm at my best, that is where I'm at.
That's my mind frame.
That's my point of reference is that I think about the creation of the art itself.
That's when I'm at my best.
If I think about money and I think about how much is this going to pay me and is this worth this, It's not the same motivation so you don't get the same results.
It's not the same passion to it.
The passion's got to be real.
It's got to be my comedy the way in my head my motivation is all about whether or not people enjoy it.
I don't want to do anything that people don't enjoy.
I want to make sure that everything that I'm creating I'm creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it.
And that's the reward that you get for that.
As long as you're concentrating on that, you do no wrong.
As long as you have the dynamic and the relationship between you and the audience, as long as you respect that, and as long as your relationship to the creativity is all based on just producing more stuff that's good, that people enjoy, as long as you're doing it for that reason, I don't think you have to worry about money robbing you of your enthusiasm.
But if you were just in it for the money and just in it for the adulation, yeah, you become successful.
And then all of a sudden, you're not going to want to do it anymore.
You're not going to be enthusiastic about it anymore.
Hyena flu equals super AIDS.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
So What do I plan on doing December 21st, 2012?
No, I'm going to stay.
If it's really what people say, are you going to go to the pyramids, man?
If it's really what some people think it is, this convergence, this technological convergence where all human beings will interface with each other, where someone creates a time machine, where some huge technological breakthrough happens.
That's what some people think December 21st, 2012. Hailing Collider or whatever that shit's called.
What's so weird is that everyone was really freaked out about that and then we had all this like built up stress because of it and then just shortly after 9-11 and it's like then we finally got to release all the stress like the world's ending.
I just remember being really stressed out thinking something was going to happen.
Something subtle is happening right now we won't recognize for a while.
That's not what 2012 is supposed to be.
If that's what happens, then 2012 is bullshit.
Then it's 100% bullshit.
If December 21st, 2012 rolls around and we just go...
Nothing.
I don't feel anything.
I don't feel a thing.
Then it's bullshit.
100%.
It's not like, oh man, no, there's a change.
You're just not going to realize it for a while.
No, it's supposed to be, bam!
It's supposed to be, open a door, here's a new thing.
You know, I mean, if the internet turned on, like, if there was a day that the internet turned on, we all looked back and said, oh, December 10th, 2000, or 1993, that's when the internet turned on and the world changed forever.
If there was like a recognized date, first of all, that would be way more important than fucking Columbus Day.
How about that?
How about we study Columbus Day and that dude never even landed in America, right?
He was in the fucking Bahamas raping and murdering people and shit, you know, and then Columbus Day.
The internet day is a way bigger day for American history than fucking Columbus Day.
If they came out with an internet day, that would be important.
But...
December 21st, 2012 has to be like that internet day.
It has to be a day where we look back and go, wow, that day some shit started off.
That's the day that changed everything.
That's what December 21st, 2012 has got to be.
All the hype behind it, if it's not that, then it's bullshit.
You know, this whole idea that it's the end of an age, that it's becoming a new era.
Maybe, maybe possibly.
But to me, that could just as easily happen tomorrow.
I mean, why do we assume that the Mayans were absolutely correct about that?
Even if they were correcting, recognizing that human beings go in cycles.
The same lines, there's like stages that humanity goes for, goes through, and that these stages, these cycles, that they're all repeatable.
They just keep happening in a cycle over and over again.
Just like how you breathe in, you always breathe out.
Humanity rises and falls.
And right now we're supposed to be in Kali Yuga, and it's also supposed to end the same time around where the Mayans believe that this age is going to end.
And the same time where Terence McKenna's, you know, Time Wave Zero Novelty Theory, which a lot of people think is bullshit.
I don't know if it's bullshit or not, but there was a guy named Terence McKenna that had this crazy mathematical algorithm designed to track time.
And he was based off the I Ching.
And the idea was that you could apply this to past events and show that all human innovation That progress in humanity is all like you could chart it on a graph.
That it's all like going along a certain direction.
And that eventually was going to reach a point of what he called ultimate novelty.
And the idea of ultimate novelty would be something that we would figure out or do, like create a time machine or something like that, that would literally change everything as we know it.
You know, and that Ray Kurzweil calls it the singularity.
There's a bunch of different scientists that believe we're moving towards this convergence, this one big invention.
And they tie that into the Mayan thing.
That December 21st, 2012 is exactly the same as the ending point for ultimate novelty for Time Wave Zero.
And that Terence McKenna arrived at that time completely independent of the Mayan calendar.