Bill Gates' Creepy New Lab-Made Fake Butter Hits Market!
A company called Saver in Batavia, Illinois has developed a new lab-made “butter” product that synthesizes fat molecules from carbon dioxide and hydrogen instead of using plants or animals. Backed by Bill Gates, the product is pitched as sustainable with a much smaller land and carbon footprint, and according to preliminary reports, “looks, smells, and tastes like butter.” Jimmy and Americans’ Comedian Kurt Metzger express skepticism about this product, mocking its “natural flavors,” warning about unknown long-term health effects, and recalling past nutrition flip-flops like margarine. Jimmy also skewers elite hypocrisy on climate and food solutions and says he won’t be adopting the lab butter without better science. Plus segments on Trump deploying federal agents and National Guard troops to DC to deal with violent crime in the nation’s capital and Matt Gaetz revealing that he was spied on by government agents when he traveled as a Congressman to Israel. Also featuring Stef Zamorano and Mike MacRae. And a phone call from JD Vance!
Come see us on tour in Rutherford, New Jersey, New York, New York, Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, Appleton, Wisconsin, Rosemont, Chicago, Louisville, Kentucky, and Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Go to JimmyDoor.com for a link for tickets.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, what's up, man?
It's J.D. Vance.
Ah, hello, Mr. Vice President.
Thanks for calling.
What, no boom?
You always say boom now.
Man, I can't be doing stuff like that anymore.
I got to cut out that dumb act.
I need to start taking all this stuff a lot more seriously than I have been.
Oh, really?
Why is that?
Didn't you hear?
President Trump basically came out and said I was heir apparent to the MAGA movement.
So like I'd be his successor in 2028.
Oh, so he's dropped that thing where he says he might run again.
Pretty much.
And fuck me.
Are we relieved about that, dude?
I swear to God.
Yeah, I bet.
I bet.
I mean, obviously, we're all a bunch of sniveling, pissant little sycophants, and we have to go along whatever he says, defend putting a sex criminal in a resort prison, whatever.
But this third term talk was giving us all rashes.
So it'll be all you then.
Looks like it, man.
It was either me or Marco Rubio.
And the truth is, I'm just more popular than he is.
And I'm vice president, and he's not.
So boom.
God damn it.
I mean, not boom.
Right.
What do you think it will be like to inherit the MAGA movement?
I don't know, dude.
Believe me, I've thought about it.
Like, I'd be sort of like the David Miscavige of MAGA.
You know, he took over Scientology after L. Ron Hubbard died.
It's an interesting position to be in where, like, the huckster guy who actually made up all the bullshit is gone.
So you have to figure out where to go from there.
Based on that analogy, what would your strategy be?
I guess become besties with Tom Cruise and have my wife secretly murdered.
Sorry, Doucha.
I see.
But no, for real, all of us actual Republican politicians in the administration are just opportunists.
Like, we know Donald Trump doesn't know what he's doing.
We know he's full of beans.
But we have shockingly little charisma, especially compared to Donald Trump.
That's true.
I mean, for real, like me and Marco Rubio as a presidential ticket, it's like, well, well, well, if it isn't the boring brothers, to borrow a famous tweet.
MAGA country has enjoyed almost a decade of having the thrill of a guy who will say literally anything.
Do you realize how exciting that is for people?
A dude with no filter?
I mean, half the people voted for him because they earnestly thought they might hear a sitting president say the N-word in their lifetime.
You're probably right.
Oh, I'm sure of it, dude.
Honestly, the smartest thing the Democrats could do in 2028 would be to run Hunter Biden.
If you're a Trump voter who misses the craziness of Trump, the absolute chaos, the uncertainty that he thrusts upon the entire world, and your choice is Hunter Biden or me, Houston, we have a problem.
And that problem is a crack addiction.
Good point.
Like, I would have to actually say the N-word on the campaign trail.
That's the only way I could beat Hunter Biden.
And I'd do it, too.
I'd have absolutely no problem doing that.
Why do I believe you?
I'm pretty sure I could beat Gavin Newsom without saying the N-word, though.
I'm positive, but it's pretty sure.
The problem is now that I've actively had this thought, I actually do want to say the N-word.
Please don't.
Oh, don't worry.
I don't mean like on here.
Thank you.
I'd say it on Burt Kreischer's podcast or something.
Anyway, but what even is the post-Trump MAGA platform?
MAGA's a big tent, dude.
You've got evangelical Christians, but you also have hardcore atheists, socially liberal, socially conservative.
It's Donald Trump that unites MAGA, not some central idea or set of ideas.
After Trump, we got to get our shit together.
Yeah, how so?
Decide what we even fucking believe, dude.
Are my beliefs in 2028 my beliefs now or my beliefs five years ago?
Or a secret third thing?
Because these beliefs are not the same, trust me.
Because your beliefs evolved over the past five years?
Man, that is not the word I would use.
Not even close.
Unless you consider an abandoned car that's rusting out in a country field evolving.
But whatever.
We will need a platform, and it has to be more than just Vance Rubio 28.
Sometimes we will go on the roof for no reason.
Probably so.
But you know what?
It's kind of thrilling to think about because honestly, it's an opportunity to take what Donald Trump started and move it forward.
Maybe take the parts of the MAGA movement that were good, even progressive, and build on those.
Take that of the big tent or we don't all agree on everything and make it even bigger.
Maybe tone down the rancor of culture war, this person's my enemy, the politics of personal attack, and take those legitimate building blocks and use them to actually make America great again.
That's actually a vision I could get behind, Mr. Vice President.
Oh my God, I can't believe you fell for that shit.
Yeah, we are not doing that.
No way.
Get your head out of your ass.
Definitely not happening.
If anything, the complete opposite.
It's going to get dark, Jimmy.
Night is coming.
Oh, well.
Well, I got to go.
As you may have heard, I have a big meeting tonight with some other top Republicans about how to handle this Epstein situation.
And by that, I mean shield our sitting president from possible revelation that he was involved in a sex trafficking ring.
You know, Wednesday.
Anyway, this is what we do.
If excess suggests nuke China again, it's going to be a long night.
A real raucous caucus.
Well, take care, man.
Love rapping with you.
No pants, bands.
28, bitch.
So good luck with bullshit we can't afford.
Watch and see as a jackdog comedian speed and jumps comedium and hits them head on.
It's the chimney tour show.
There's a new butter that's not made of anything natural.
And it's from it because, you know, you want to eat things that are neither animal nor a plant.
That's true.
Like when you were a little kid and you used to eat Elmer's glue.
Remember how smart you used to be then?
Remember that?
Yeah, till RFK wants to take my glue away.
So this is it.
They've got a new company in Batavia, Illinois.
Batavia, which sounds like where Dracula goes in the summer, Batavia, Illinois, is making butter in a way you've never seen before.
No animals, no plants, no oils.
Because that sounds healthy, doesn't it?
It's made out of not a plant or an animal.
Sounds sustainable, I'll tell you that.
Yeah, super.
The sustainability-focused approach has the blessing and the backing of Bill Gates himself.
Yep, Bill Gates blessed it and backed it.
Did they at least test this butter on prisoners first?
I hope so.
It looks, smells, and tastes like butter, we all know.
But it's made without farmland, fertilizers, or anything.
Nice.
Nice Star Trek times.
So it's like a new Bill Gates franken butter.
And no, I don't meet L. Franken.
I have no idea what he uses for lube.
But the blessing and backing of Bill Gates.
It's the Epstein of butters, if you will.
Yeah.
Well, here it is.
This is the CBS Chicago report on this.
You want to see it?
Here we go.
It looks, smells, and tastes like the butter we're all familiar with, but without the farmland, fertilizers, or emissions tied to that typical process.
And this butter breakthrough, it's happening right here in Batavia.
In the middle of an industrial park in a suburb west of Chicago, something unprecedented is happening.
So you're using this gas right now to like cook your food.
And we're proposing that we would like to first make your food with that gas.
Okay.
Did she just say instead of using gas to cook your food, why don't we just feed you the gas?
Am I hearing this wrong?
No, that's what she said, isn't it?
It sounds well.
Let's listen more.
The company is called Savor.
The company is called Savor, Kurt, because I guess poisoner was already taken.
It's called Savor.
Okay, here we go.
And you better believe it.
Their pioneering tech uses carbon and hydrogen to make the stick of butter you see on this plate.
This is pretty novel to be able to make food that looks and tastes and feels exactly like dairy butter, but with no agriculture whatsoever.
And no long ingredient.
Yeah, because remember, that's all you need to know is how something tastes, right?
Not what's in it or what it does to you.
Just if it tastes.
Does it taste like it?
Then that's it.
I'll bet it doesn't taste like it, also.
Okay.
It lists the average person can't pronounce.
It's really just our fat, some water, a little bit of lecithin as an emulsifier, and some natural flavor and color.
Oh, how?
Oh, natural flavor.
What?
Where?
What?
It's just, you know, some emulsifiers and some colors, some natural flavors.
Really?
Is arsenic one of the natural flavors?
I've just gotten what's asking.
Fats are made up of carbon and hydrogen chains.
The goal here, replicate those chains without animals or plants.
And they did it.
They tell me to simplify, they take carbon dioxide from the air and hydrogen from water, heat them up and oxidize them.
The final result?
It looks like a wax, like a candle wax at first.
But they're fat molecules, like the ones in beef, cheese, or vegetable oils.
Sustainability is why we are here.
It's all done releasing zero greenhouse gases using no farmland to feed cows.
We're like not at full capacity in this facility yet.
Even though we're standing in a factory setting.
And in addition to the carbon footprint being much lower for a process like this, right?
The land footprint is like a thousand times lower than what you need in traditional agriculture.
So it sounds to me like this is the best part.
She's telling you how healthy it is for everything else except you.
Sustainable, I think is the term.
Right?
Oh, it's good for the land.
It's good for the environment.
It's good.
What about me?
Oh, well, all that matters is how it tastes.
Yeah.
Watch this.
I know what you're thinking.
I think we need to taste it.
I would love for you to text this.
How does it taste?
Actually, that's not what I was thinking.
Actually, what I was thinking is, what is this going to do to me?
That's what I was thinking.
What kind of poison are they now telling me is good?
Remember how long they told you margarine was better than butter?
Do you remember that?
Science told you that.
Science told you that margarine was better than butter.
And it turns out margarine is almost pure poison.
Pure poison.
It's all, what is it called?
Hydrogenated fats that are stable at any temperature and they're bad for you and they clog your arteries and kill you.
They're the trans fats and the hydrogenated fat.
They're the worst things.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
Love butter.
So I'm going to take a really healthy amount.
Admittedly, surprisingly, like butter.
Cheers.
It tastes like butter.
Oh my gosh.
I can't believe it.
We're doing butter.
Another reason.
And remember, that's all you need to know is how something tastes.
That's all you need to know.
You don't need to know what's actually in it, what it does to you.
How long it is.
Well, you know, people tell me not to drink antifreeze, but guess what?
I tried it and it tastes great.
And that you were doing so well not researching any of the vaccines you were taking.
So don't fall off that rocking hobby horse now and start researching the food you're eating.
Just use a handful of science words you heard on TV and everyone's going to back off.
Well, the molecules form chains and that's why I'm eating it.
Did you see the amazing, I'm still getting my head around the scientific process of they take oxygen molecules from the air and hydrogen from the water.
And now it's done Oh that's how Cheers.
The person who knows absolutely nothing approves of how it tastes.
Isn't that nice?
Are we going to have a follow-up report of what she looks like in a few weeks after eating this stuff?
We're sad to report that our key reporter has somehow crystallized and become a solid statue.
We're going to leave her in front of the building as a tribute.
Hey, Bill Gates, how about making adrenochrome out of sewage wastes?
How perfect is that?
Am I right, folks?
Come on.
They say this makes an impact.
No palm oil.
Contributor to deforestation and climate change.
That's not all.
Of the 51 billion tons of greenhouse gases emitted every year, 7% is from the production of fats and oils from animals and plants.
So what?
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
How about that?
I'm okay with that 7%.
It's about how fat everybody is or anything like that, right?
I've never seen anything like this.
They used to be like, well, it's good for your heart and whatever.
You don't even come up in this.
This is amazing.
Could you get a taste yourself?
Right now, they're working directly with restaurants, bakeries, and food suppliers, releasing these chocolates made with their butter in time for the holidays.
Savor butter in either its current manifestation or with our partners.
We expect that to be on the shelves kind of more like around 2027.
Their teams here in Batavia, Illinois, and their home lab base in San Jose, California, backed by Bill Gates, who wrote in his blog, quote, the idea of switching to lab-made fats and oils may seem strange at first, but their potential to significantly reduce our carbon footprint is immense.
Believe me.
And he wrote that while flying on his private jet to another WEF meeting where he wants you to live in a 15-minute city and eat bugs.
It never lands for tax reasons.
Yeah.
They refuel it.
It is keep flying it around.
Even butter can make a difference.
This is really about how we feed our species and heal our planet at the same time.
Can you go up more when you say species?
This is how species are these people.
Our species.
This is like an alien is making a commercial for you.
Yes.
It sounds like some of the Simpsons.
Who talks like that?
I just want to hear her say that again.
I want to hear her up talk.
This is really about how we feed our species.
Our species?
I can't even get up that high.
Why are you saying species like that?
Our species?
Our species?
And you know what?
When I want to clear my arteries and my digestive system, Kurt, nothing smooth it out like graphene sand.
Am I right?
Come on.
That's right.
It's a desert storm of health shooting out of my ass, and I'm a changed man.
At least my underwear is.
I'm on the same diet and I had a booster for lunch.
And by the way, this has the backing of Bill Gates.
So, you know, when Bill Gates blesses something, there's going to be human sacrifice involved.
Our species has to be sacrificed.
Our species?
This is really about how we feed our species and heal our planet at the same time.
She has the up talk and the vocal fry at the same time.
This is how we feed our species and save our planet.
Heal the planet.
It's been damaged.
It's got butter damage.
It's got butter.
Planet's got butter damage.
You're going to have to cut back on food based on food stuffs.
Information on food sustainability and how this could impact our food industry moving forward in the story that's up on our website right now, where you'll also find more information about this company.
Reporting inside Savers Facility in Batavia, I'm Tara Molina, CBS News Chicago, investigators.
I like how CBS News Chicago investigators.
I love that.
I love that.
Kind of a shake head, a pause.
Very like her hard hat for the butter fact for the gas butter factory?
Yes.
Yeah.
So what is that?
It's dangerous.
So now let's go to, let's see what the Matrix is saying about this.
Dominic Michael Trippey, like a guy with three names.
He says, disgusting.
God only knows what consuming entirely artificial products like this does to your body in the long term.
Chrissy Meyer, friend of the show, says, pretty sure Gates found a way to put AIDS in this butter.
I bet she's right.
I bet she's right.
Yeah.
Here's some other people.
They said, oh, Blakely, we're a fan of Blakely's.
She says, it's so lame how conservatives only care about billionaire and corporate influence when it's a Democrat.
But then when a conservative does the same shit, they're like innovation, daddy.
Does somebody else make that kind of butter?
I don't, so the only problem with her argument is that I don't know of a conservative who's making that butter that conservatives are cheering on.
So I kind of get what she's saying, right?
Because they cheer for Elon Musk, who's a billionaire, and they cheer for, I can't think of another billionaire that people.
I'm guessing she's vegan to talk that dumb way.
That sounds like a vegan who's like, I don't eat butter anyway.
Do that to your kids.
They're going to have bird bones.
It's funny how this Chuck Steak says, it's funny how left hards, I haven't heard that before.
Left hards, hate corporations and billionaires in general, but absolutely worship and trust big pharma vaccines and poisoning the food supply.
It is funny.
Ha ha.
It is funny.
Mark Wynn, 1432, says liberals are also horrified by this stuff.
You need to get out more.
Oh, he's talking to Blakely.
Yeah, I would consider myself a lefty, and I'm horrified by this stuff.
It's not.
I think the larger issue is them fighting in the Matrix for the amusement of these lizard overlords that are making natural gas butter.
It's soylent yellow.
It's made out of gullible people.
And it's got a new tropical flavor straight from Epstein Island.
How about that?
So come on, guys.
Come on.
Let's all calm down and huff some butter.
Now, if it turns out that this is actually not harmful to you, which I can't, I would have to really see some signs.
I still don't want none.
I still don't want any of it.
Oh, even if it's not harmful, go fuck yourself either way.
How about that?
But I get how you want to, you know, take the burden off of animals providing foodstuffs for us.
I'm not against that.
And if this turned out, you know, by some miracle, that this actually is even neutral to your health.
Because butter is actually good for you.
It's got, you know, nutrients and stuff.
You need fat.
You need butter stuff.
You need cholesterol.
You need that stuff.
I'm sure it has vitamins and protein.
Sure, too.
It's got what?
Butyric.
Hey, didn't that thing come?
It said it got delivered.
If you check Amazon, it said they delivered it Friday.
Oh, okay.
I haven't seen it.
Does butter have natural flavors or not?
So I get that, and I get the urge to not want to have to rely on poor animals for our food.
That's not what Bill is doing.
It's not about animals.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
Right.
Bill Gates.
It's about the climate, not the animals.
His disgusting fake meat.
You know what that's made from?
Like calf abortions.
They have to do an even weirder, crueler process to make that hideous urine meat they make in vats.
No, the whole thing is carbon.
There's too much carbon.
Is he made of some other kind of material that I'm not aware of?
I'm carbon-based.
I'm carbon.
Yeah, so are the animals.
He doesn't give a shit about the animals.
Yeah.
It's literally, oh, we've got a, they're pushing climate change.
If you still believe in that, you are stupid.
If you still buy climate change, you're dumb.
You're dumb.
Well, it's not a thing.
They just haven't looked into it like they haven't looked into anything.
They didn't look into ivermectin or hydroxychloroquine or monoclonals.
I didn't look into it.
I didn't look into it.
All I did was notice 25 years passed of none of the predictions coming true.
About climate change, you mean?
Yeah.
I'm out.
Well, I know that the more carbon, the more greenery there is on the planet.
And greenery eats carbon.
So I know that.
So it's almost like nature has a system for this.
Why do we want to cut down carbon?
Then we'd have less greenery.
We'd have less greenery.
Terraforming the planet for lizard people.
That's the only question I have at this point.
Lizards like that.
Very least, climate change is a lot more complicated than they want to make it seem.
At the very least, that's why they have to fly around in those.
And the people screaming the loudest about climate change are the people who are clinging to their private jets and their 450-foot yachts.
People like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg.
They're not going to stop.
They're not going to stop having 450-foot yachts with four giant diesel engines so they can go take a cruise on the ocean.
They're not going to stop doing that.
And they're going to take a helicopter to that thing.
They're going to take a private jet to a helicopter to their yacht.
Larry Ellison has side smaller boats that follow the yacht in case the basketballs from the basketball court go off the side.
Yeah, they have what I call a support.
There's a fleet of basketball catching boats.
Yeah, it's called the support.
When you have a yacht that big, you need a support yacht.
That's where all the guys who run your yacht, that's where they sleep and live.
That's where they eat their butter made from the gas that runs the boat.
Yeah.
So again, this is, I do have mixed emotions over this, but I ain't, after COVID, I ain't taking any of that.
And then you find out the fake meat is, it's like, it's the equivalent of eating margarine.
It's got all the bad fats and garbage in it.
It's essentially a tumor that they grow in a vat.
Yeah, it's like a tumor.
It does taste good.
And I used to, and I ate fake meat for a couple of years.
Not the kind that Bill Gates makes.
You didn't eat.
I used to eat the Beyond meat, right?
We used to get it at home.
would get the beyond sausage and i'd put it on my uh pizzas and uh then you find out that stuff is is so i'm all for anything that helps take the burden off of uh you know i factory farming is repulsive um But that's capitalism, right?
So it's not family farms.
Anyway, I could talk about this all day.
Hey, you know what?
Before you go and invent new butter, how about we just have better infrastructure in America?
How about that?
How about that?
I don't need butter.
We've got butter.
I already have butter.
They're solving problems that aren't.
They're solving things that aren't broken.
They're fixing problems that aren't here yet.
And if you like to hear my jokes about climate change, and I've got them, you can come see me in Rutherford, New Jersey, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, Chicago, Louisville, Kentucky, Fort Wayne, and Appleton, Wisconsin.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a leak for tickets over to Steph.
Hey, how's it going with the nitrogen emissions from those farmers in Europe?
Yeah, right?
Remember that?
Remember that was...
Deadly nitrogen.
We got a...
We got to close down Dutch farms because of the nitrogen.
Remember that?
Really?
To fight climate change, we have to put Dutch farmers out of business.
I don't think that's because we have to shoot the most amount of Bill Gates butter gases into the atmosphere in one shot with Nord Stream 2.
So after Nord Stream 2, anybody talking about the climate shut?
Go fuck yourself.
If the assholes that ran shit thought that that was real, they would never have had the greatest man-made release of greenhouse gases just to make cheap and more expensive gas sales to Europe.
If they really believed in it, they would not have done that.
That's the number one thing man has ever done in the history of the world to put greenhouse gas was Nord Stream 2.
That's right.
The people who scream about climate change did the worst echo climate change disaster in the history of the planet.
And they did it on purpose.
Now I got to not eat butter because you had to blow up a pipeline.
Go fuck yourselves.
And, you know, all it takes is for one volcano to blow up.
And all your battery-powered cars mean nothing.
And again, if we all had battery-powered cars, our power grid would shut down because we can't even keep the air conditioning going in the summer in California without having blackouts and brownouts when it gets hot, let alone everybody having an electric car, which is the equivalent of looks.
I've heard 20, it's like having, if you have an electric car, it's like having 20 refrigerators at your house.
You could check me on that.
Is there butter in that refrigerator?
There might be some fake butter in that refrigerator.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
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I don't know if you know, but Donald Trump, the president of the United States, has just taken over the police department of Washington, D.C., because Washington, D.C. is a city without a state.
And so the government can do that.
Let's listen to what it's like.
It's like a I just like to hear a 70s black exploitation narrator crack down and crackdown when the man sticks to the homeless.
Here we go.
Here's Chopin.
I'm announcing a historic action to rescue our nation's capital from crime, bloodshed, bedlam, and squalor, and worse.
This is Liberation Day in D.C., and we're going to take our capital back.
We're taking it back.
We're going to take it back to 1950.
How about that?
See you at the malt shop.
Don't be ethnic.
Posse comitarded.
Under the authorities vested in me as the president of the United States, I'm officially invoking Section 740 of the District of Columbia Home Rule Act.
You know what that is?
And placing the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department under direct federal control.
And you'll be meeting the people that will be directly involved with that.
Very good people, but they're tough and they know what's happening.
And they've done it before.
In addition, I'm deploying the National Guard to help reestablish law, order, and public safety in Washington, D.C., and they're going to be allowed to do their job properly.
So there's a couple of problems with this.
One is, look, look, here they come.
It's like a parade, but nobody's there to wave any flags.
And here they are, I guess, on their subway.
It looks like the subways are safe because there's no place to anybody else sit down.
Now everybody's staying home except for the National Guard.
That's it.
I want him to do this day one, and then I want to see the people being carried out from the Nepsene things, you know?
That's what I wanted him to do with that.
Is that what they're going to do?
So now we have people like Mark.
So I'm going to tell you what the big problem with this is in a sec.
But here's Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has been good on some issues and called out Trump on some, but bad on others.
This would be one of them.
She says, crime in our Democrat-run nation's capital has hit a breaking point.
Congressman's carjacked, young interns murdered, residents and visitors from across the country and the world living in fear.
Thank you, President Trump, for restoring law and order in Washington, D.C. So this is more of like you create the problem and then you have the solution because it was Because Trump's own Department of Justice was bragging in a press release that's still on their website earlier this year that crime in D.C. was at a 30-year low.
Further, the murder rate is half that of St. Louis.
If they're going to try and justify the military in D.C., based on that, they'll try anything.
So they're going to bring the military into Washington, D.C. to fight a crime problem that's at a 30-year low.
And that's not according to me.
That's according to Trump's own Department of Justice.
There it is.
Violent crime in D.C. hits 30-year low.
January 3rd.
That's from.
Here we ask Grock.
Yes, Washington, D.C. is experiencing a 30-year low in violent crime.
Violent crime in the city has decreased by 26% compared to the previous year.
According to D.C. police data, the U.S. Attorney's Office has also reported that violent crime in 2024 reached a 30-year low, citing police statistics.
The decline comes after a particularly violent year in 23.
So there's so.
By the way, I wouldn't trust anybody's figures of where violent crime is, especially where I live now, which is a real problem where I live.
And I'm sure they're going to say some stupid shit that the crime's not bad here, but it is.
People stop reporting it when nobody's handling it, and nobody was handling it.
Who ran the cops before he did this?
Like, who was running the D.C. police?
So the mayor of D.C. So you're saying you're siding with Trump on this.
You're saying that.
I'm sure this is some other thing all the time.
You're saying, get rid of all the statistics that crime is probably way worse even though.
Why would you even believe it?
Nobody's going to report it when you stop solving crimes.
They defunded the police everywhere.
Remember that genius thing that they did?
Yeah, but they didn't.
But they didn't.
They actually refunded the police.
You remember that?
They defunded the part where they go around the block and take care of crime.
After a summer of people screaming to fund the police, the Democrats got together and created a $2 billion more for the police and a whole new police institution.
You know that.
Yeah, but not the crime that you want police to handle.
I know there's no no-word police and shit now without fucking police.
Well, I mean, you got to have some kind of statistics to bet.
You can't just say that crime is at it all the time.
You can't just say it.
You have to go prove it.
And they did it.
It's violent crime.
And in fact, his own Department of Justice says it's at a 30-year low.
So does even Grok, Grock, which is a super establishment.
So Trump sent 450 federal officers from nearly 20 agencies onto D.C. streets in a weekend crime crackdown.
What were the arrests?
They got a guy in a dirt bike.
They got a fugitive and a suspended license driver while violent crimes is also down 26% from last year.
So I'm sure this has nothing to do with legalized weed.
Have you seen the prices of ammunition these days?
These guys are killing me with the prices of ammunition.
Am I right?
But Kurt, you got to know this, Kurt.
The stochastic crime is off the charts.
Yeah.
Right?
And if I don't feel safe, I pull a fire alarm in a building, just to be sure.
I think that's smart.
I think that's all you can do.
So this is a, so that's, and you bet, I'm just saying you better watch your ass, Jaywalkers.
They're going to throw the hood over your head and you're going to wake up in Guantanamo.
Skateboarders are going to wind up getting waterboarded.
This is the real, they're getting tracking down the real crime.
This is really happening.
This is from the Washington Post.
Trump orders feds move on D.C. crime, take over D.C. police.
This is some war of like when the Democrats ran the cops during January 6th.
Remember that January 6th, there's those officers that committed slip and sly because they're so depressed about what happened.
Yeah.
And then people got promoted.
So that means there's some kind of the police is controlled by some Democrat thing, and now there's a Republican machine taking it from the Democrat thing.
That's my guess.
President Donald Trump announced Monday that he was placing the D.C. police under direct federal control and will deploy the National Guard to the streets of Washington to fight crime.
An extraordinary flex of federal power that stripped city leadership of its ability to make law enforcement decisions and could expose residents of the nation's capital to unpredictable encounters with a domestically deployed military force.
So every place I've lived, the crime's way up, and it's up in an annoying way, and you can't get police help that you'd want.
You could get them to look at your tweets or whatever the fuck, but there's nobody handling crimes.
Not nobody.
They're military.
Hey, I know when I, Kurt, when I lived in Pasadena, I had a guy with a gun in front of my house.
I called the cops and I told them it took him an hour to get to my house.
Yeah.
In Pasadena.
What the hell are the cops doing in Pasadena that it takes them an hour to respond to a domestic call of a guy with a gun?
It took an hour.
So, like, I don't know what the, you know, I would love to believe that he's like rooting out all the secret crap in D.C., but we both know that's not what it's going to be.
So the decision to take over the Metropolitan Police Department and deploy 800 National Guard troops comes as the president has been slamming America's cities as places where crime is out of control, despite two years of declines that have brought homicide levels in major cities to their lowest levels in decades.
The administration.
The administration has already mobilized FBI agents in recent days and overnight shifts to help local law enforcement prevent carjackies and violent crime.
I call them car jackies.
I like that.
They're carjackies.
You're going to carjackie.
You got a car jackie?
Because the District of Columbia is not a state, the federal government has unusually sweeping powers to intervene over the objections of its residents and its leaders, giving the president an opportunity to use it as a laboratory for a militarized approach to urban crime fighting.
Trump portrayed a sweeping vision of law enforcement on the streets in Washington, declaring that federal agents, D.C. police, and the National Guard would use physical force to intimidate lawbreakers inside the district.
they fight back until you knock the hell out of them because it's the only language they understand.
That's what Trump said.
It's becoming a situation of complete and total lawlessness.
And we're getting rid of the slums too, Trump added.
I know it's not politically correct.
You'll say, oh, so terrible.
No, we're getting rid of the slums where they live.
Okay.
Going to new houses or something?
Right.
So they're not getting rid of the slums.
We're going to talk about it in our next segment.
This is Trump's big plan to criminalize homelessness, basically.
He wants to get rid of the homeless.
He doesn't want to, well, we're going to talk about it in the next segment.
Trump has portrayed crime in the nation's capital as spiraling upward.
D.C. Mayor Muriel E. Bowser, fantastic, has noted repeatedly that violent crime has declined for the past two years after a sharp post-pandemic spike in 23.
Trump compared his plans for Washington to his administration's aggressive enforcement of immigration at the U.S.-Mexico border, where the National Guard and other branches of the military have been deployed since early in his term to crack down on border crossings.
It wasn't immediately clear for how long Trump intended to take over the city's law enforcement abilities.
Under the Home Rule Act, Trump can assume control of the D.C. police for 48 hours if he determines that special conditions of an emergency nature exist, which require the use of the Metropolitan Police Force for federal purposes.
A president can extend the emergency takeover for a total of 30 days if he notifies members of Congress who oversee D.C. affairs.
So 48 hours.
Well, no wonder he has to hurry things along.
That's why everybody looks like they're in such a rush.
Come on, junkie, with your pants at your ankles.
Shake a leg.
We're on a deadline.
Any request for more than 30 days must be passed into law.
Trump noted that he took his border actions quickly and without legislation.
The executive order Trump signed Monday declared that the administration would take over D.C. law enforcement for the maximum period permitted under the Home Rule Act.
So it sounds like he's going to go for the 30 days.
That's what it sounds like, right?
So Trump has repeatedly complained about crime in Washington and the city's homeless population, but he was spurred to further action in recent days by an assault on a former U.S. Doge service staffer who was injured in alleged carjackie.
A person familiar with the White House deliberations said Monday, soon after the attack, D.C. police arrested a boy and a girl, both 15 years old, from Maryland and charged them with unarmed carjackie of Edward Coristine, who is also known by the nickname Big Balls.
It does take some big balls to do an unarmed carjacking.
He got that nickname after they shot him in the balls with a non-lethal round.
Yo, you can't carjack me.
That'll be the nicest thing that happens to you.
Trump last week posted an image of Coristine smeared in blood, sitting shirtless on the ground, warning that if D.C. doesn't get its act together and quickly, we will have no choice but to take federal control of the city.
Flanked on Monday by top officials, including Attorney General and Epstein liar Pam Bondi, Trump declared his sweeping plans to federalize crime fighting in Washington.
They'll not be allowed to turn our capital into a wasteland for the world to see.
That's what, uh, hey, why don't you just treat, uh, We'll talk about that later.
Officials said that they would seek to expand the ages at which juveniles can be charged as adults.
Under D.C. law, the city's attorney general prosecutes most juvenile crimes.
The U.S. Attorney for D.C. handles adult criminal cases in the district and can charge 16 and 17-year-olds as adults if they're accused of certain violent crimes, including murder, rape, armed robbery, and burglary.
Pirot, whom Trump appointed to the job in May, said Monday that she wanted to lower the age limit for charging juveniles as adults to 14.
City leaders have disputed Trump's care.
If we could just get more like North Korea, city leaders have disputed Trump's characterization of crime in Washington, saying that the nation's capital is safer than it was a year ago.
Violent crime is down 26% compared to this time in 2024.
According to D.C. police data, homicides are down 12%.
D.C. police have made about 900 juvenile arrests this year, almost 20% fewer than during the same timeframe last year.
About 200 of those charges are for violent crimes, and at least four dozen are for carjackie.
Carjackie's making a comeback.
Carjackie's coming back.
In addition to the, why do people drive around with their car doors not locked?
I don't understand.
Because they believe the fake safety statistics of D.C., I guess.
It's really safe here for the last year, is it?
In addition to the FBI, whenever I'm in D.C., I guess I go in the safe parts.
I've always feel very safe in D.C. You don't know what's safe or unsafe until you been somewhere a while or you got jumped.
You don't know until you don't, you know.
In addition to the FBI, the Secret Service and the U.S. Secret Service Uniform Division has also been directed to launch special patrols in Washington.
But the administration has not consulted with the D.C. Police Department, the chief law enforcement agency responsible for policing local crime, about how best to deploy federal services, said a senior official with the department.
Oh, so they're not consulting.
The National Guard deployment will be another example of the president's increasing use of U.S. military forces to carry out his objectives on American soil, an approach that has been used only sparingly in history over history and which has spurred concerns of over-militarization.
You think?
Earlier this year, the president tested legal limits when he bypassed California Governor Newsom and unilaterally deployed thousands of National Guard troops to protest over ICE raids in Los Angeles, an unprecedented move that is being challenged in the court.
Newsom had repeatedly asserted that the National Guard's presence was not needed.
Oh, really?
Well, that's nice.
And Californians have repeatedly stated that Gavin Newsom is not needed.
How about that?
He was busy podcasting.
Oh, he's got a very busy podcast.
Yeah, the city leaders of D.C., I don't trust them.
I'll tell you, not that I trust Trump, but all these cities, I watch these assholes act like there's no problem.
And I don't live on a hill or nothing.
I never did.
So I got to see up close how they're handling it.
It's not good.
Andrew Weinstein says, make no mistake, federalizing the police and deploying the National Guard to D.C. isn't about a non-existent crime wave.
It's an authoritarian move to crush dissent and strip Americans of their right to self-govern.
This is a chilling precedent for every city in America.
Well, you can only really do it in Washington, D.C., because they don't have a state.
And I'm for D.C. statehood.
You know, I don't admittedly, I haven't looked at much into it, but I don't see it.
I'm for Disney World statehood.
What do we have all these Vaticans in our country?
Make Lake Havasu a state.
But, you know, people like to, you know, like when we were in Mexico City, people are like, oh my God, aren't you afraid of all the drug crime down there?
I'm like, I'm not in the part where they do drug crime.
You know, it's just like when I go to Chicago, people are like, aren't you afraid?
No, I'm not.
Yeah, well, you don't have to live somewhere and commute.
And that's probably what this guy, 19-year-old, he has to drive to some like, you know, gentrif upcoming neighborhood because the property is so high, right?
To rent anywhere, to live near work.
So you got to find a place to live that you could afford, right?
That's not too bad.
That's how it works when you go to these cities.
D.C. is one of the least affordable places on earth.
I was a victim of crime three times in Pasadena, California.
And each one of those crimes happened right in front of my house.
Right in the front of my house.
You should call into his podcast about right in front of my house.
Ask Theo to ask Gavin.
So, yeah, it seems weird.
And I'm going to get to the to it.
So there's a big homeless component to this.
I'm going to get to in my next segment.
But if you'd like to hear my jokes about this, you can come see me in Rutherford, New Jersey, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, or in Chicago, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, and Appleton, Wisconsin.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for those tickets and only go there.
Don't go anywhere else because if you do, you're going to spend more money.
Go to jimmydoor.com for those tickets, and we'll see you there.
If unarmed 15-year-old carjackers exist, the problem is real bad.
If you're that fat of a pigeon, you think you don't need a gun and you don't need one.
You can carjack someone by hand now.
That's to me indicates something's way out of control.
Not even a gun.
You don't even respect me enough to bring a gun.
You and your 15-year-old country just go to the bottom of the street.
How does someone carjack you without a 15-year-old kid carjack you without a gun?
How the F does that happen?
Do you think that would happen to you, Kurt?
Do you think that you would let that happen to you?
Do you see this kid that they did it to?
He's 19.
Did you see him?
He's bloody.
He is beaten bloody.
The pictures are very, oh, yeah, looks real bad.
Well, it's that, you know, it's that.
Remember when they had the LA riots and Reginald Denny?
And I remember Bill Hicks had that joke: step on the fucking gas.
You're in a truck.
What are you doing?
He might have been.
I don't know what he was doing, actually.
I never remember that.
I remember that.
That was a funny joke.
But anyway.
Matt Giggs revealed that while he was on an APAC trip as a member of Congress, he found an APAC guy inside his hotel room.
Did he pack his bags?
What's this?
You want to hear it?
I went on that APAC trip.
I went on subsequent trips.
And there is an actual downward pressure from the leadership and even the committee chairs.
Like if you're on the Foreign Affairs Committee, if you're on the Armed Services Committee, if you're on the Intelligence Committee, there's like an expectation that you go there and some sort of like congressional Hodge.
And I remember being at the, I'll never go back.
I was at the King David Hotel and I rolled back to my room unexpectedly when the rest of the group was still on some planned activity.
And there was some dude in my room.
I'm like, hey, man, what are you doing here?
And he acted like he was associated with the hotel and taking an inventory, but had no clipboard.
And so, yeah, there's a lot of reasons why they want members of Congress over there.
And it is ideologically to steep them in this notion that the protection of Israel is of great import to people in America, but it's really not that important to voters.
And that is becoming more clear on the right and left.
So it's kind of like maybe the guy was like a maiden folding his towel into a swan.
You know how they do that?
Maybe that, maybe it was turned down service.
Maybe they were going to give, you know, maybe they're giving him a large Jewish chocolate, like the nice hotels leave on your pillow.
Maybe that's what that was.
Matt Gates actually comes in.
He retweets this and says, this is absolutely correct.
I explained these events to my family in case something went awry with me.
Ladies and gentlemen, awry.
I reported this to my committee leadership at the time and was told it was regular and I should never leave anything meaningful in my hotel room abroad as a member of Congress.
Wow.
Maybe the guy was a bachelor party stripper, a bachelorette party stripper, and he just was in the wrong room.
Either way, he's a prostitute.
So this is not out of the ordinary for Mossad.
This is regular that they do this.
So this is a vassal state.
I think that's the correct term.
He's saying AIPAC.
So it's APAC is an American lobbying thing, isn't it?
I thought, how would Mossad be allowed to operate APAC?
Wouldn't that be not legal?
So did he say Mossad or an APAC guy?
So an APAC guy.
Let's listen again.
I went on that AIPAC trip.
I went on subsequent trips.
And there is an actual downward pressure from the leadership and even the committee chairs.
Like if you're on the Foreign Affairs Committee, if you're on the Armed Services Committee, if you're on the Intelligence Committee, there's like an expectation that you go there and some sort of like congressional hodge.
And I remember being at the, I'll never go back.
I was at the King David Hotel, and I rolled back to my room unexpectedly when the rest of the group was still on some planned activity.
And there was some dude in my room.
I'm like, hey, man, what are you doing here?
And he acted like he was associated with the hotel and taking an inventory, but had no clipboard.
And so, yeah, there's a lot of reasons why they want members of Congress over there.
And it is ideologically to steep them in this notion that the protection of Israel is of great import to people in America, but it's really not that important to voters.
And that is becoming more clear on the right and left.
So he didn't say it was an APEC or a Mossad.
He just said there was a guy.
He was on an APEC-sponsored trip to Israel, staying at the King David Hotel.
And he came back early.
There's a guy in his room.
Maybe from a different Middle Eastern country, like Dan Bongino once posited.
We know if he worked for a Middle Eastern country, which one?
So we don't know if it was Mossad or an APEC guy.
But here, let's remember what John Kiriaku said.
He said, the worst people ever, the people who, even if you went there liking them, they would make you hate them.
And here's his story about the Mossad and the Israeli intelligence.
Who is the most aggressive and the most deceptive?
Yeah, by far, the Mossad.
There's just, hands down, there's just no comparison.
I told this story on a podcast where two friends of mine with whom I worked at the CIA were transferred to Israel and they were both known to the Israeli services.
They were declared, what's called declared to the Israeli services.
So when they arrive in Israel, the station chief takes them to the Mossad and says, you know, my two people here.
They're going to be here for two years.
They're not going to be working against Israel.
Of course, the wife is going to work on Palestinian issues at the embassy, and the husband is going to take Arabic classes at the university.
Everybody's happy.
But then the ambassador has a welcome party for them.
And when they get back home from the welcome party, somebody had rearranged all the furniture in their living room, just as a signal that, hey, we can mess with you anytime we want.
And of course, they reported it.
Several months later, the ambassador has a Christmas party.
They go to the Christmas party and they come back and people had defecated in all of the toilets in their house and left it unflushed.
Now, why would you do that?
Just to intimidate, just to anger, and just to show disrespect.
Finally, another year and a half passes.
It's time for them to leave.
The ambassador has a going away party for them.
They go to the party.
They drive back to Jerusalem.
People had gone into the house.
The dog was whimpering under the dining room table.
They had cut the dog's tail off and they wrapped it in gauze and in medical tape.
Now, why would you do something like that?
What do you hope to accomplish just by treating an ally that way?
And of course, you know, the CIA has to go to the Israelis and say, stop harassing our people.
And the Israelis say, okay, okay.
And then they're good for a year or two, and then they just start doing it again.
But that's the nature of our relationship.
That is the nature of our relationship with the Israeli intelligence community.
And that's that.
There's nothing, we ain't going to do anything about it.
And the tail, talk about the tail wagging the dog.
What do you want to say, Kurt?
They circumcise their dog's tail.
Why would you go to a Christmas party thrown by Israelis?
Isn't that funny?
As the CIA person is like, hey, these Jews invited me to their Christmas party.
Is that no alarm bells off at all for you?
Okay.
You know, the Jews that spit on Christians as a matter of course.
Christmas parties.
The people who spit on Christians are throwing a Christmas party.
That's kind of interesting.
Yeah, and also, by the way, I'm not making that up about the spitting.
Like, that's a natural daily practice.
That's their thing.
And they had to start telling, they had to start telling their people in Israel: hey, stop spitting on Christians because it's losing us support to slaughter their cousins.
So stop doing that.
Not because it's bad, but because it's going to lose us support.
That's really what happened.
So that's a real thing.
Is it like good luck to them or something?
It's such a reflexive.
Well, you know, that's a true thing, right?
Kurt, you've heard it.
That's not news to you.
Ori Shafi'i used to tell me about it.
Or Shafir went to yeshiva before he became a comic and left all that.
But yeah, the people did it all the time.
And he knows somebody, the guy spit on, they do like grabbed the guy and spit on.
The guy's all freaked out like he couldn't believe someone was even reacting to him doing that, which is really strange.
And so you really have an ingrained thing of like, no, that's just what we do.
We spit on you.
So I don't know what's going to take for Americans to say enough with this Israel stuff.
They certainly have said it.
It don't matter what you say.
I mean, look at Mike Huckabee.
You don't have a say in it.
That's right.
Look at Mike Huckabee, right?
Mike Huckabee finds out that the Israelis are being super unfriendly to Christians, to say the least.
And he's like shocked, like, oh, they don't love us?
No.
He's still going along with them, though, isn't he?
He's still going along with some weird red heifer plan that Speaker of the House Harry.
I just saw a statistic that, you know, Arabs ran that land, Jerusalem, for, I don't know, 800 years at least, right?
And back then, there was like 80% Christians living there.
Then ever since 1948, it's down to 10%.
So apparently Christians got along with Muslims, no problem.
Also, somebody Jews there.
Everybody got along fine.
Everybody got along.
All the Jews got along.
All the Arabs got along.
All the Christians got along.
It wasn't until the Zionists, the Ashkenazi Jews, the Zionists, decided to set up shop that everybody started fighting and hating each other.
And now the Christians have gone from somewhere around, check me on the numbers, but somewhere around from 80% down to 10%.
So anyway, the point of this is that we are the tail wags the dog.
The tail is wagging the dog.
And congressmen have to fear what a state, a client state of the United States, which is what Israel is supposed to be.
But it's the exact opposite.
We're the client state of Israel.
They tell us what to do, and we do it.
And apparently it hasn't reached a critical mass yet where people have said enough of this.
Has it happened yet?
We'll see.
Keep an eye out for Kabbalah bracelets because you'll be surprised who's got one on.
And it's not just about the amount of AIPAC money that they give to individual politicians.
It's the threat that they will give even more to someone to run against them.
That's the real threat.
That, okay, we're going to give you money, of course, but if you don't take it and you don't do our bidding, we're going to give 10 times as much money to someone else to get rid of you.
That's the real threat.
Or worse, or we'll use state-made fake IDs to frame you in a blackmail scheme against your dad.
Yes.
There you go.
Yeah, we'll try to get you hooked in some kind of honeypot operation that you're not even a part of.
Which is what they did to Matt Gates or Getz.
I don't know how you say his name.
I always said Gates, but it is Gates.
It's Gates, right?
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