EXCLUSIVE: Whitney Cummings Responds To Critics Of Her CNN NYE Performance!
Popular comedian Whitney Cummings caused quite a stir during the recent CNN New Year’s Eve broadcast with Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen as she hilariously gored sacred cows left and right, alternately skewering Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and the Democrats over the massive coverup of Biden’s dementia, Pfizer for pushing a vaccine of dubious efficacy on the whole country and even CNN itself for plummeting ratings. Whitney joins Jimmy and Americans’ Comedian Kurt Metzger to discuss her now-legendary performance and the pushback she’s inevitably received for promoting “conspiracy theories.” Plus a segment on the resurfacing of Stephen Colbert’s awkward moment trying to silence Claire Danes as the actress began explaining that members of the intelligence community had told her of their adversarial relationship with the Trump administration. Also featuring Stef Zamorano!
Come see us on tour in Los Angeles, Honolulu, Dallas, Texas, Baltimore, Atlantic City, co-host New York and Providence, Rhode Island.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and only there.
establishment media sucks all gaslighting so good luck bullshit we can't afford fomenting this watch and see as the jack golf comedian speeds and jumps the medium and hits them head on it's the Jimmy Tore Show the So ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if you saw the famous Whitney Cummings was on the New Year's Eve show on CNN.
And let me just show you what she said.
2024 election fried our brains.
The Democrats couldn't hold a primary because they were too busy holding a body upright.
Are we still rolling in my office?
Go for it.
It was amazing that the pro-choice party didn't give their voters one when it came to the presidential candidate.
Tamal was forced on us so hard.
You'd think she was tacted by Pfizer or Madonna, whichever one's.
Oh, God.
Andy just gave me a very scary look.
I live all around the country because you see that Americans really are more reasonable than they would be portrayed.
Absolutely.
They're pretty great.
And I'm playing bigger and bigger venues now.
I thought being a mom would mean that less people would want to come see me.
I'm not playing, you know, like 3000 Z theater, which is about the viewership of CNN these days.
Nice.
Nice.
All eyes are on this show.
Wow, you're also.
You know, Andy and I, Andy and I had a tour.
We did like that shows the system is falling apart because she's defying the unwritten rules and tearing these assholes new assholes, which is not an easy thing to do to give an asshole another asshole.
So these two queens are covered in cat scratches right now.
So anyway, let's bring in Whitney Cummings is with us.
Hi, Whitney.
How are you?
Welcome to the show.
Hi, Jimmy.
You know, I'm such a huge fan.
I'm literally zooming in with you just to get Kurt to stop texting me things about Alan Dulles in writing.
This is what it came to.
You're on a list now.
You can pretend you're a normal person.
I already get texts from Joe Rogan.
I already am on a list.
You're under surveillance.
I was like, I'll literally go on the show live to stop getting texts from you.
Well, there was also a part of that you didn't get to that you shared on social media.
You said, this is what I said at the end of my roast set on CNN tonight that I zoomed through because I was running out of time and scared.
Since I only have a minute left and I'm live on the, do you want to read that or you want me to read it?
Don't make me read it.
I'll read it.
She said, I figured I'd list some of the things mainstream media will never cover.
The first Trump shooter didn't have any silverware in his house.
The crown prince of Saudi Arabia put money into Disney.
Why is fluoride still in our water?
Monsanto paid Google to skew search results.
Why are so many president chefs dead?
Wow.
That is.
I think I should get a check for $5 million for not saying Democratic chefs.
I didn't even know it was multiple.
I thought it was just the one that I was talking about.
I had this whole rant that was like, how come Obama's chef's mom's videos are off TikTok?
Like, who drowns in two inches of water?
Why wasn't he wearing clothes?
Like, I had this rant, but I didn't want it.
It was an interesting line.
You guys are comics.
You know more than anyone.
I think that like finding that line to where, you know, we all have to play defense right now because sometimes if you say something sane, you sound crazy, you know?
Yes.
And there's stuff that's not even on the internet to back up what you're saying because it's been deleted.
So if I were to say, like, what happened to, you know, the Obama's chef's mom's videos, people would go, she's crazy.
And I also, I don't have to tell you guys, I'm sober now, but during the pandemic, I had purple hair and, you know, weed was legal in California.
So I also have to be careful and I can't be the ambassador for stuff like this.
And people just go like, oh, she's a crazy bitch with blue hair, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
But now people came after you, of course, and they were, there's a couple of different ways they came after you.
The first one is, hey, why didn't you go after Trump?
Right.
And so you tweeted out for the dorks who are grumpy that I didn't roast Trump in the CNN set.
I roasted Trump so long ago, I think in 2011 on Comedy Central.
And to do that on CNN would be like shooting fish in a barrel, a home court advantage cheap shot.
There's no, that's exactly right.
I was there for that.
You're 100% right about that.
That's exactly right.
It wouldn't be hacky.
It would just be like preaching to a choir, which is what, you know, I think a lot of these, you know, networks already do.
So there's nothing dangerous about roasting on Fox News.
That's where you roast Trump because that's where it's dangerous.
That's right.
Right.
That's exactly 100%.
That's right.
I didn't want to get like a rally applause of like doing a safe Trump joke.
You know, also there's nothing else to say about him.
It's like people just tune out.
It's so uninteresting.
So I wanted to go to the place that there were the most eggshells and the thing that nobody said.
You know, there's nothing nobody said about Trump yet.
You know, like, what's the things people are scared to say and why?
It was actually a wild experiment because like I was scared.
And I was like, what am I scared of?
Getting poisoned, getting shunned by a business that kind of is, you know, has annihilated itself anyway, the Hollywood business.
Am I worried that pedophiles won't hire me anymore?
Like, what am I scared of?
No more.
Yeah, like, I'm not going to get on, which, by the way, I did have a joke that I, you know, I don't have to tell you guys, years of hell gigs and corporate gigs.
You got to really know how to choose your shots and not force something to kill the vibe.
So it didn't make sense to say, but I did have, you know, queued up, you know, all eyes are on this show tonight.
Like, you know, making fun of the ratings, but then except this show, all eyes are on the show tonight, except when you guys mentioned balls dropping, all the producers from Nickelodeon show stop watching.
That's like, you got to have stuff loaded up that you may or may not use.
I did put all of the political stuff at the end.
It was initially at the beginning, you know, but I think that that was smarter to put it later.
The Hunter Biden one, I had a lot of versions of that, you know, because we've heard a lot.
So I wanted to go away that was somewhat original as well.
But if people are still defending Hunter Biden and defending someone who these networks have known was in a mental decline, you are not only not a Republican, not a Democrat, you're not a patriot at this point.
it's not about Republican and Democrat.
You're going to defend the fact that these people knew that the most someone with the most important job in the world had cognitive decline and you're with hiding it.
I mean, it's it's well, Whitney, hold on.
Sometimes when you work as an undercover intelligence asset, you have to knowingly lie.
That's why they recruit you and that's why Anderson does it.
That's why that other dipshit in they're all in on it.
We just showed Colbert talking to Claire Danes.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah, over what she's saying.
So, and I'm not as smart as you guys about this.
I'm not as educated as you about this.
So, I tried to only stay in lanes that I can actually speak to.
Know that if you are allowing a cover-up of cognitive decline of the leader of the free world, you're threatening not only lives of Republicans, but also Democrats, your own people.
Everyone's going to die.
But I mean, you don't need to be pro-choice.
Everyone's going to.
Yeah.
So, but I'm dumb and I get the country's going to be aborted.
Is that what you want?
But what a lot of people don't realize is that journalists, all the people at CNN, they see it as their duty to cover for the Democratic president.
That's what they saw.
They convinced themselves that they were fighting this existential threat, literal Hitler.
That's what they convinced themselves of.
So now I have to cover for Joe Biden.
I have to cover for Kamala Harris.
I have to cover for the Democrats.
And exactly, that's the opposite.
And that's why nobody trusts them or watches them anymore.
That's why that joke was so fantastic.
And there are more people watching this show that are watching CNN.
And so that's what it's a mask off moment for them.
And now they have to finally admit after that debate that, yeah, you know what?
The Wall Street Journal just put out an article a week or two ago.
Yeah, yeah, we knew he was demented since day one.
Yeah, well, we've been saying that on this fucking show since the debate he had in 2020 that he was demented.
We knew it and we didn't stop saying it.
And we caught a lot of shit for it, but now we're proven right.
16 year old or something.
I mean, wasn't there something where he was like creepy with a girl who was showering with his own daughter until she's 15, which is in her diary, which is confirmed to be her diary.
Yes, it's in her diary.
It's fucking mental.
Saving water.
Yeah.
I mean, look, I assume most politicians are creeps.
It's just we're at a point where it's like, look, I grew up in DC.
I grew up like, you know, Clinton, you know, and Monica, we let a lot slide.
We let a lot slide.
And this is just too much to let slide, you know?
And I think that for me, I just was like, okay, let me just take an opportunity to say some things.
I have a kid now.
I'm sort of thinking in different ways.
I'm, you know, sober.
I'm just thinking more clearly.
I'm just going like, you know, what do I care about?
What do I want to say that would matter?
You know, we're comics.
We say a lot of stuff that doesn't matter.
At least I do.
You guys don't on your show.
But, you know, I think that it is ridiculous that criticals are allowed to advertise on our television.
Yeah.
Yes.
On CNN, as a matter of fact.
I'm not an expert.
I'm not someone who should weigh in on that in a serious way.
But I might hurt them.
But Whitley, let me ask you, aren't you?
I'm gobsmacked at the lack of people in comedy that I know in Hollywood that don't make those jokes that you made.
Aren't you amazed what a huge lane there was for you to do those jokes and make fun of the fact that Pfizer is sponsoring the news and they can't they can't offend their advertiser, their money man.
What do you make of that?
A couple things.
You know, I think a lot of a lot of comedians, we come off very brave.
What we do is incredibly terrifying, but it also comes from a place of insecurity, of fear of not being seen or loved or getting attention or adrenaline or whatever.
So we're fearless in some ways.
But the upside to doing what I did on New Year's Eve, it's not, it's not that big.
And the chances of it going well were very small.
You know, you have to, and you guys have done it, the hell gigs, the road gigs.
I've been doing this for 20 years.
I mean, I did the Donald Trump roast.
That was in 2011.
Joan Rivers was, I think, 2009 or something.
You know, it was, and there was no audience.
And it was, I couldn't hear them.
They, they could hear me, but the umbrellas made it weird.
It was live.
It was just kind of like, it's very unusual that you get that kind of shot.
And I kind of was like, I'm uniquely qualified to do this.
I uniquely have nothing to lose right now.
I uniquely just had a kid and think it's, you know, borderline irresponsible to go on a network like CNN and just be like, so I have a kid now.
Joke, joke, meaningless joke, meaningless joke.
There's enough of that.
And I just was like, I'm, you know, those moments where you're kind of like, look, I'm not special.
You know, my self-esteem isn't through the roof, but you just go like, ah, this is a moment in time.
And also, I'm someone who I think is able to go back and forth between shows like yours, thankfully, and then also mainstream shows.
There's not a lot of people.
Like, remember, like people like, you know, Nate Barger, Nate Bargazi, you know, can do it now, but like, you know, Segura and Burt Kreischer, like, I want like eight, nine years ago, six years ago, tried to get them on Ellen back when that was made, you know, before I was.
Oh, you knew.
Yeah, when it, when it helped, when it, not to go on because you love Ellen or, you know, you just want to see the island set in person.
It's more that it helped them.
It used to help sell tickets.
So anything to help someone sell tickets, we're comics.
We're going to do what we have to do, you know, and they wouldn't let him on.
There was like this bifurcation of you were either a YouTube comic or you played the game and you were in the industry.
I can kind of do both.
So I was like, I have the opportunity to do this.
How about I do something to show mainstream media that what they're doing is not working anymore and show them the reaction of how many people do want to know the truth, even if it's inconvenient that don't want pharmaceuticals paying their journalists.
Like we, there's no market for that anymore.
And so I just, I think more comics don't do it because it's very rare that you get that opportunity.
And why make a big mess if, you know, the feedback has been like overwhelming.
But I'm a female comic.
I get hate so much all the time.
I was like, I can handle it.
You got my email?
I mean, I was like, I can, I can handle the negativity that comes my way and I will be able to handle it if it goes sideways.
How did you feel at the Trump road?
Because I did warm up for that.
I remember it being a nightmare.
Before this is paying attention.
Kurt, before we get to that, let's get to this.
So, here is the Daily Beast came after you for that set.
And of course, Daily Beast, which is a CIA-infiltrated asset, and there's no doubt about that.
And I'll show you the proof in a second.
But they did it.
They called you a conspiracy-filled.
They said comedians, wild conspiracy theory-filled roasts.
Wild shock CNN hosts during.
And so, all that.
And so, I read the article, and this is the only part that he even they even talk about.
It says, Cummings finished her set by firing off some wacky conspiracy theories.
Of course, there was a moment for drones, quote, I mean, they're still up there in the sky.
So, I guess we can rule out that they were made by Boeing, which is hilarious.
Just a joke, which is hilarious, as well as dubious shout-outs to Disney's funding, dead White House chefs, the Boy Scouts of America, and even Trump shooter Thomas Crooks allegedly missing silverware.
And so, again, all that stuff there are dead chefs.
Obama's chef, we just talked that's very suspicious.
Clinton's chef, uh, what if Clinton's chef died on a hike or something, and Obama's chef drowned in like two feet of water?
Wasn't he naked?
And uh, the Boy Scouts happens so uh, half naked style, and shout outs to Disney's fun.
I mean, this is such a such a reach and a lame attempt for them to try to discredit you.
And then you tweeted out, Daily Beast, what did I say?
That's a conspiracy theory.
I love that that face that you gave them.
Look at Annie's face.
That's such a bear-scared face.
That's such a win.
Was I wrong?
Did I take the bait?
Is that exactly what they want for me?
No, they did not want Whitney.
The fact that you don't, you're like, I don't know about all this stuff.
So, that's damaging.
It means regular people can notice something's wrong.
Yes, people don't follow this stuff.
So, no, it's actually like I would get a food taster if I were you and some kind of like because it's so damaging to them when somebody who's not in the realm of talking about that just notices things that are true, like the emperor has no clothes kind of things.
That's the most damage.
You know, I didn't think I could like anything better than Kathy Griffin trying to fake blow Anderson and him going at New Year's.
But I think this is better.
But I guess also, if you're going to be a legitimate news organization, which by the way, I'm flattered don't like me.
I mean, if they did like me, that's probably when I would worry, right?
But it's why not do a piece going, here's all the reasons Whitney said what she said.
Here's the evidence for it.
Why not just do this?
It doesn't hold up because it's journalism and prove me wrong.
And did you see who wrote it, Jimmy?
Did you see who it's written by?
You have to look who it's written by.
Go to the writer, look at Grace Harrington.
Who is that?
Look at her job.
Breaking news intern.
They got their crack now.
Whitney, keep in mind, she didn't make the headline.
They never write the headline.
CIA gives it to the editor and they decide because nobody reads Daily Beast, especially people that subscribe to Daily Beast.
They look at a headline that was algorithmically sent to their iPhone that they just see first.
That's it.
And they're using conspiracy theory because more people will get to it if they have the word conspiracy theory in it.
But they also could have gone, some people think there were conspiracy theories in Whitney's roast.
Here's why they're not.
But again, honestly, it's just, it is what it is.
And I probably shouldn't have taken the bait to highlight that.
But I think we're at a time where, you know, I'm not going to defend myself when people call me a cunt, whore, unfuckable, whatever.
Like, that's fine, unfunny, fine.
But when you accuse someone of being a conspiracy theorist, it's a pretty amazing way to discredit curious people that ask questions.
I'm happy to be wrong.
Like, please tell me if I'm wrong.
I don't want to stay dumb, but to just call someone who's asking questions conspiracy theory, I think that's a really big epidemic that's going on right now is this eye roll.
If anyone's by design, yes.
It's a conspiracy theory.
It's in the first line of my Wikipedia page.
They call me a conspiracy theorist.
And then they go on to mention things that I was right about.
But they still call it conspiracies, right?
Like the fake gas attacks in Syria, which we've had the OPCW whistleblowers confirmed my reporting on that.
Everything I've ever said about COVID, 100% correct.
Everything about them.
So they just said.
It really just should be synonymous with visionary at this point.
You're a visionary.
Well, there's that saying now that a conspiracy is more like a spoiler alert.
That's yeah.
And so I'll here just to let you know where that hey, that's their flex at Daily Beast is to call anybody who goes against the establishment narrative a conspiracy theorist.
Wacky.
And well, here's RFK is going to tell you where they come from.
Here, Western.
There's a provision in the CIA charter that says that the CIA cannot propagandize the American people.
President Obama adopted in 2016 that essentially reopened the door for Operation Lockingbird so that the CIA began once again to propagandize America.
How are they doing that?
President Brown.
High-level intelligence officials are, or people associated with the intelligence industry, are running those journals like Noah Schlackman, who runs Bollingstone, who came from Daily Beast.
Daily Beast was run by John Avalon, who was, you know, has deep ties in the intelligence agencies.
So there you go.
Just wanted to let you know, don't feel bad.
I did something wild that I just remembered.
So how do these people make all their money?
I happen to know, I'm just not going to say the person's name for a million reasons, that someone paid off the Daily Beast to not run a story that would have been a pretty wild takedown of someone in Hollywood, paid them a ton of money to not run it.
I already know who it is.
Okay.
I'm not saying either.
Don't keep me involved, but a tremendous amount of money.
So they go, okay, we'll take your money and we won't do good journal.
We'll take money to not do good journalism instead of actually, you know, so, and then the New York Times, I think, didn't, I don't want to, they, they took a bunch of money to not publish something too.
So you have money and they actually are going to do a takedown on you, some journalism that would be valuable if you just pay them off.
You know, they'll take the money.
So the court of public opinion is corrupt and you can pay off the jurors and the judge and everything.
Hey, I'm not going to say dorks.
I'm not saying getting out of this.
Sorry.
No, I'm not going to say anything either because I would like to be in a Tom Hanks movie.
And I'm not saying.
What else did they say about Oprah?
It's something.
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe.
I mean, those like, you know, I don't know enough about a lot of that.
Here's the thing.
People with me, they're always like, you must have gone to the ditty parties and you must know.
Snitches don't get invited.
You know, Kurt, did I ever tell you that I tried to get into Scientology and they didn't let me?
No.
I know.
Didn't you go?
Modi told me you had a Kabbalah meeting and you go, I don't know what this is, but it looks too expensive for me.
It was what I did.
So I did that show Punk'd when I first moved to LA, 2003.
I got after scale.
I had like literally made $400 a month and I, Ashton Kutcher was married to the B-more.
I went, they invited me and I'm sitting in the circle.
It's like Cameron Diaz.
And I just was like, I know I cannot afford whatever the fuck this is.
Yeah, you dodged a bullet.
A string, a red string bracelet, can't afford it.
But I did when I first moved to LA, a friend of mine was getting like corded.
And they would basically go after people who were about to get really famous because there was such a machine where if you were in a movie and you got this publicist and you got this manager, you were going to be a star.
It was just working for you.
And a friend of mine invites me to brunch with her.
And she was just given an address by an actress who is a Scientologist known, Helena Christensen.
And we get there.
We pull up to this castle.
You know it, Kurt, on Franklin.
And I just moved to LA.
I'm like, this hillbilly white trash bitch.
And I'm like, this is Hollywood.
Because you go to Hollywood and you're like, this is a shithole.
Like, I came to Hollywood, baby.
Like, a glitz.
And there's like homeless people shitting on the Walk of Fame.
I was like, I get to the Scientology castle.
And I'm like, this is what I thought Hollywood was.
I'm in.
Whatever this is.
Fucking sign me up.
I go to the brunch.
There's this huge brunch.
The guys from famous people.
Giovanni Ribisi is there.
The guy from Lost is there.
I'm like, this is what I. Yes.
How do I sign up?
My friend's like, we got to get out of here.
I was like, no.
I live here now.
I'll take the test.
I'll see the aliens.
Whose dick do I need to stop?
Danny Masterson can rate me.
I'll say.
I won't say no.
Or I'll say no if that's what he wants.
Did you put that in writing?
That's not.
Okay.
And then we're not letting me in.
Because I have snitch energy.
We're comics.
We're not the type of.
Yeah, they profile you.
You got to show your cool.
But the Diddy party, you're not really in a church.
So you weren't going to be invited to the cool part of that.
I grew up in an alcoholic home where you had to say what the elephant was in the living room.
I can't keep secrets.
I can't walk on eggshells.
And this is, you know, something that I was thinking about doing on the roast of going like, this is like every, you know, like there was always a house on the street that was the, that you saw the screaming and the fighting.
And now every house is that.
It feels like.
Yeah, right.
25.
Like everyone is just, this is starting to break.
And I think it's actually exciting.
And what you guys do is a really big part of it.
So did you, so what, how did, did somebody say anything to you afterwards?
How did the two hosts, Anderson and what you call it, respond to you at the commercial break?
I got to give them props.
Like they, I think Anderson, I don't know him very well, but he also was, they drink, you know?
So I did go on a little bit later and we were in umbrellas.
So I'm unclear how much they did here.
I would throw stuff to them.
I was like trying to kind of get reactions from them, but I was like plowing through it.
Like people, I'm on like Adderall or something, but I was like, I just got to blow through this as quickly as possible.
I think I said Chuck Schumer instead of the Trump shooter.
So people think I said Chuck Schumer doesn't have any silverware in his house.
And I was like, he'll catch fire.
He can't touch it.
That's a weird conspiracy theory is my guess.
But I just went as quickly as possible.
I was trying to just like, I could sort of feel energy of them, you know, they didn't sign out for this, right?
I mean, before that they were doing quizzes about Mudang, the hippo, you know, they're talking about wicked.
Like it was, it felt like.
They deserve it so much.
It's great what you did.
They deserve to feel like that.
They deserve it a hundred percent.
And by the way, the American people deserve to see someone say that on CNN.
And so you've performed a great service.
And like, go for it.
Like, just say it.
Like, I just got sick of being scared.
I got exhausted about biting my tongue.
And I just like, again, even if I'm wrong, I'm like, why don't I throw something out there?
And I'll correct it later if I'm wrong, but I can't keep just being scared of this.
Like, what even is it?
Like, getting canceled?
That's not even a thing.
I don't even know what's.
I think the only thing scarier than censorship is self-censorship.
Wow.
Well said.
Like, I'm self-censoring and I'm complaining about censorship and it's all in here.
You know?
Yeah, right.
So I kind of was like, how dare I complain about censorship if I'm the one censoring myself?
Well, you know, during COVID, just to talk a little inside comedy, it broke my heart when we went back into the clubs and I would see comedians shame people for doing your own research, which means don't question authority, which is the exact opposite of doing comedy.
If you're a comedian and you're telling people, don't do your own research, you're telling them not to read because that's all doing your own research means is you're fucking reading.
And it just broke my heart and a lot of comedians let me down.
And so it just was so heartening to see you do what you did.
And it was like me getting my faith back into comedy and me.
I get to cheer on a comedian standing up to the establishment.
It really, maybe I make too much out of it, but it means a lot to me.
It's a comic, but people don't do it when they get in that situation.
It's literally just what you should do.
Yes.
Like guess who drops the ball, most people.
That's correct, Kurt.
I don't think I should get points for it.
And it's sad that I'm getting points for this.
And it's sad that more people don't do it.
But I know how that scary feeling it is.
And I know how easy it is to not do it.
It's so much easier to not do it.
I want to jizzle neck to see it.
That's all.
Oh, he already said, he said, if you talk about conspiracy theorists, you're just trying to get a new audience.
It's like, yeah, why wouldn't what?
First of all, I've always wanted a new audience.
Why not?
People that question, connect with comedy fans?
Like what?
I also don't care if I alienate the ones I have now because I say what I want.
So I just take who I get.
If your fan base isn't changing, you're not growing as a comic.
Oh, well, so put that on a T-shirt.
And yeah, I love people.
I get the criticism of, oh, you're doing comedy.
clickbait.
No, clickbait.
I'm putting a headline on a video to try to catch people's attention.
But when you click on that video, it's full of substance.
Clickbait is when it's empty and there isn't anything in there.
By the way, you know what?
Yes, I am.
Guilty as charged.
I want people to click on this.
Guilty as charged.
That's right.
When a movie comes out, you're not like, you guys are putting posters up.
You're poster baiting people.
Yeah, you want people to see.
You just want people to hear what you're saying.
I do.
Yeah, I don't want to yell in a basement like Mark Maron in a garage.
Yeah, I want people to see what I'm doing.
I do, by the way, to your, do your own research thing.
I started doing this little thing on TikTok that's like, because you get kicked off TikTok.
We just got kicked off yesterday.
They canceled our TikTok channel yesterday.
So we're doing something.
Yeah, I had this 9-11.
This guy talked who's in the military, talked about 9-11, and it was taken down a couple times.
It's on Twitter now.
But I started doing this thing of like doing my own research.
And I was like, literally at the point where I, when I was in New York, I was feeding the pigeons.
So I was like, drone or not drone?
If they're eating, they're probably real.
Feed all the birds around you to see if they're cameras.
That's how you do your own research.
Real pigeon, real pigeon.
I wait for them as shit to know if they're real.
So let me say this one last.
So the last time I got excited about a comedian on CNN was I was sick.
I don't know what year it was, 2018.
For New Year's, I had a flu.
So I stayed home and I was watching.
That's when Kathy Griffin was still on, I think.
And she said to, she turns to Anderson and she said, do you have any New Year's resolutions?
And he says, yeah, well, I guess I should, you know, spend more time in the gym and hit the treadmill.
And she goes, that's really interesting.
You know, most journalists would say, maybe I should learn a foreign language or learn about this culture.
You're all about getting your abs.
How does that make you a better?
And it was like, she didn't realize what she had done, but she really blew the roof off of what CNN really is.
It's just pretty boys talking into a camera.
He's not a real journalist.
He's thinking about his abs.
He's not thinking about becoming a better journalist.
And I thought that was the best work she'd ever done on there.
And this tops that this was better.
And honestly, I must say, like, Anderson, because I was in this place of, I have nothing but respect for him.
We come from very different places.
You know, he said Vanderbilt, I had a bunch of jokes about that.
I was like, you know what?
I don't need to go after Anderson here.
But right before I went on, he said that his favorite book of the year, a book that he loved this year, was the biography of Bill Gates.
And I was like, no, no.
Are you kidding?
I had to bite my tongue so hard.
I wanted to be like, oh, did he, did he talk in the book at all about how he bought apple cider vinegar?
He bought brags, apple cider vinegar, so that he could put his appeal schmegma that he put some apples into the apple cider vinegar.
Like I, I had, oh, God.
Did he dish on Epstein Island at all?
Is there a chapter on that?
I mean, it was like this guy.
I have this theory.
I know it's ridiculous, but the fact that like he didn't create Apple, Steve Jobs did, now he has to own like apples.
Like he's that's his thing is apples.
He puts a covering on a coating on Apple.
I'm like, it's just, he's obsessed.
And then he bought appleside vinegar.
He can't stop.
I just think it's amazing that when I hear people say like, but like Bill Gates is some kind of do-gooder instead of what he actually is is a, he's a monopolist and a megalomaniac who wants to control everything.
Do you see when he said we shouldn't plant trees?
Yes.
I don't even think a lizard would say that.
I don't think he's a lizard person because lizards like trees.
Are we the science people or not?
Yeah, the science says that you plant trees, it eats carbon.
That's the whole point of that.
But also, science is fashion.
Science gets debunked every like five or six years.
Remember when soy milk was good for us?
Yes.
Now half of my girlfriend's tits got cut off and half my guyfriends have tits.
I mean, that was just a.
Well, that just sounds like a good economy that is supply and demand.
But I also, I did on my podcast this thing where I volunteered to jump on the grenade and suck Bill Gates' dick and be his Lauren Sanchez so that he'll stop like making diseases.
That's not enough.
I was like, he just needs, because Jeff Bezos kind of chilled once he started like getting someone, you know, and so I was like, I volunteer as tribute to be.
You think you're the first to make that offer to Bill Gates?
No, really?
He's probably not even in Epstein Island.
You understand?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm like 30 years too old.
Yeah.
I mean, I try to tell people, you know, when the devil comes, he's not going to have horns and a pitchfork.
He's going to be wearing glasses and a crew neck sweater.
And that's what we're living.
And they go, well, no, he's just trying to help people with vaccines.
Okay.
That's right.
I knew this would happen.
I knew I called it the world fell apart as soon as we stopped bullying the nerds.
That's what Oppenheimer was about.
You should have left him in lockers where they fucking belonged.
We were right.
You know, people don't understand human emotions.
So they just get technocratic, real hardcore, and they have no, it's like the people who swat.
That's the ultimate nerd mentality that you could.
Jimmy, there's one thing.
I know you, I'll go.
You said something about earlier comics that came after comics.
And they're, you know, to me, that's a special kind of snitch.
That's a special kind of nastiness.
And Ari Shafir said something on Rogan once where he said, you know, Ari of all people, like, you know, we really saw who people were when he did that Kobe tweet and stuff like that.
And he said, like, comics, it's your job to hold the line.
And that's really kind of the what I stick to whenever stuff like this happens.
It is our job to hold the line.
If you're not brave enough to be one of the ones in the front, that's totally fine.
But like, get out of our way if that's what we're doing.
Why are you on a stage if you're not brave enough?
This is the whole thing.
It's just the job.
The job is to be the one that's not going with the thing and alone, Not an improv group, not yes and yeah, refusing.
By the way, there's always going to be mediocre people in every job.
There's always going to be the braver ones.
Like, you wouldn't be you if they weren't them.
Fine.
I think that, like, there's obviously echelons within comedy, and we don't even need to deal with the people that aren't brave enough to do what we do.
Um, I think it's just a matter of just get out of the way.
And the ones that are holding the line, we got to all just kind of stick together.
And, like, we're, we're the ones that get put up front.
You know, the way that wolves move, like the Wolf Packs, you know, they put certain ones up front, certain ones, you know, in the middle.
I didn't know that.
And one in the back, it's really fascinating the way that they move.
So I just think that, like, you know, they serve a purpose too.
The people at UCB need to laugh.
You know, they got fine.
You guys can have them.
Go be the dorks.
We don't even have to acknowledge the dorks.
It's, it's, well, I'm not.
I'm just so, I just can't take it when I see comedians reinforcing the status quo instead of finding the hole and poking their finger through it.
That's what they're supposed to do.
You're not.
We have corporate media to prop up the establishment.
I don't need you to do that.
And I don't certainly lazy.
Yeah.
And need you shitting.
It's just, you know, a lot of it's had to do with Trump.
And it just wrecked a lot of people.
And yeah, there's very little.
The time I really broke was a couple months ago because I was always like, let me stay out of politics.
Jimmy does that.
Kurt does that.
Bill Maher does it.
It's not my, I don't, I just don't want to speak on shit.
I'm not an expert on, but I am an expert on hypocrisy.
So that's when I started being able to say something is when I posted about Tim Waltz and the fact that I found out that he had gone to China.
Yes.
Yeah.
Over 30 times.
And I did a whole section on it on my podcast, posted about it.
I had to take it down.
People were calling me racist.
People were, I did, I was like, why, you know, he did go with boys.
I can make that joke.
He's a racist.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And he, so he went to third, first of all, how does a teacher even afford to go 30 times to why did he get fired?
Why can no one answer any of these questions?
And why am I a monster if I just ask them?
And it's weird.
And even if it's, he should at least be able to say, yes, I went to China 30 times.
So I am uniquely qualified to be able to fight our adversary, China.
Like at least including his honeymoon and him and his wife stayed in separate rooms down the hall from each other because they had an uneven number of students.
So they couldn't spend the night together on their honey.
Why am I in trouble?
I'm not the one that went to China 30 times.
You know how hard it is to go to China 30 times?
Very hard.
I mean, that's your full job.
Not even Hunter, I think.
I don't even think Hunter went.
So I got so, and when I would ask people about it, they'd be like, and it was just like, you don't even want to ask this question.
You don't even want to know the answer.
That's scary to me.
It's not conspiracy.
Again, conspiracies are things that happen before the crimes.
Once the crime's done, it's not a conspiracy.
It's done.
Yeah.
So, like, I've been to China 24 hours.
I was good.
I was like, we're good.
I went for 24 hours.
And that was, there's nothing to do.
What are we doing?
At least make it your strength and go, I've been.
I know how to deal with them.
They're doing a lot of shitty stuff right now.
Here's who you can trust.
And here's who you can't trust.
Like, it just felt really odd to me because if he had done that, I'd be like, I'm listening.
I'm listening.
If someone's like, I understand our number one adversary inside and out, and I'm going to bring production back to America on this and this and this.
This is how they get us.
They've got bot farms, whatever it is.
But he just pretended like it wasn't happening.
Because guess what?
They're not our adversary.
They make our shoes and viruses and phones.
I don't know why they're calling them our adversary.
We're back over there making more viruses.
Apparently, we're cool with them.
But they keep pushing this idea that there's a war because there's no such thing as borders.
It's just companies and alliances and what have you.
They have to find a reason to keep funneling money upward into the military industrial complex.
And now they're sending money and stuff to Taiwan to fight against China.
It's just same thing with Ukraine, same thing with Iraq, Syria, Libya.
It's the same story over and over.
And people, they keep falling for it left and right.
It's just amazing to me.
But Whitney, I don't know.
You know more about this than me, but nothing sent chills down my spine like Michael Cena apologizing.
For what?
Yes.
In because he acknowledged that Taiwan existed.
That's right.
Oh, yeah.
John Cena, not Michael Cena.
John's Cena.
What did I say?
Michael Cena.
I was kicked out of Hollywood.
I was kicked out of Hollywood 24 hours ago.
I don't know anything.
Yeah.
He does a lot of business there.
Wild.
Anyway, you guys are the best.
Let me not get in the way of your awesome show.
I really appreciate you coming on.
Thanks.
It's great to have fun down at the mothership.
And I hope you're not.
Come by.
Come by.
Kurt.
I better see you while I'm here.
I have a spot tonight, so I have to go by.
I'm there to see someone else.
Okay.
All right.
I'm just, I'm at the condo.
All right, everybody.
What's your website?
WhitneyCummings.com?
What?
Did I just give my location like a maniac?
Nobody knows where the guy is.
Nobody knows where the condo is.
Just WhitneyCummings.com.
Okay, Whitney Cummings.
I'm on tour.
Love you guys.
Love you.
Thank you so much.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcompedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
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Thanks for your support.
I don't know if you saw this.
Stephen Colbert cuts off Claire Daines before she.
Now, this is, I think, from 2018 when Trump was president.
Oh, this is way before that.
I told you my friend who used to be the editor over at Daily Beast and Jezebel and whatnot.
She told me right when Obama was going out, she'd been invited to the White House.
Okay.
All these young reporters, they were invited to some White House thing.
And Obama told them, hey, I'm really worried that Trump is compromised by Russia.
I just wanted to tell you.
So I didn't think anything of it at the time.
I go, whatever.
Now I see what it is.
So they've been entrenching themselves, and that's what Claire Daines is speaking about.
So this is, so Claire Daines was on with Stephen Colbert when Trump was president, and she talks about the intelligence community, meaning the CIA, allying itself with legacy media during Trump's first term.
Watch Stephen Colbert.
Now, we all know that he's the tool of all tools.
Did you know he's an asset to this guy?
Yeah, he's an asset.
I didn't know he was an asset to this degree.
Yeah.
I should have put together the Jon Stewart cutoff.
Whoopie's trained to fart over a point, and he just stops it.
Watch this.
Okay, so now one of the things that you do.
Do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies?
We do.
It's like the coolest.
So they go to spend a whole week with CIA spies.
Yeah.
What?
Why would you, what?
What's part of my life?
Who sets that up?
Okay, so now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies?
We do.
It's like the coolest part of my job.
Who sets that up?
Who calls the CIA goes?
We just like to come in and hang out with you guys.
Yeah, so Henry Burmel, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago, but his dad was in the CIA.
As if Stephen Colbert doesn't have a CIA handler, and as if he doesn't know that there are CIA embedded all through Hollywood.
As if he doesn't know this.
How do you set that up?
How do you get a hold of the CIA?
No, they've already gotten a hold of them.
They downloaded the information right in Stephen's throat before the show.
Yeah, yeah.
And his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, a very accomplished person.
That's my God.
That is okay.
The enormity of what she just said is that it's one long CIA.
That means that this is one of the worst.
Listen, oh my God, that's really bad.
No, it's not the first time.
Was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, very accomplished person there.
And he recently retired.
But in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers.
The producers and writers of the Homeland Show at the Baba, these guys who were CIA their whole life, they bring us to spy camp.
What could possibly be the nefarious reason for them to do that?
It's just for shits and giggles.
Well, Jimmy, that's generational CIA.
So that means he's the mentee of people who were doing the original MKUltra.
Yes.
That means he was trained by the original evil fuckers they pretend aren't what they are now.
Right.
Watch this.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it like.
Yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to like real spooks and you know, people in the intelligence community.
I just love watching Stephen Colbert pretending to be interested in what it's like to be hanging out with CIA agents when that's all he does as soon as the show is over.
Yeah, he gets put the cool story.
Really?
What is this all about now, CIA?
After this show, they change.
Real spooks.
And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really tell you that, like, what's the most surprising journalists, State Department people, CIA spooks.
Yeah.
And writers for television shows, producers for television shows.
They all come together.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah.
So, you know, when like conspiracy or UFO notes, they'll say they disclose stuff in fiction.
I don't think it's that they're disclosing stuff.
They're feeding stuff into the fiction for predictive programming, meaning getting you primed for the stuff that they want to do.
So you watch like example, that stupid Marvel Black Panther movie with the good guy, CIA agent, who just wants to help this African country join the world stage.
There's the underlying propaganda in that, and that's to prime you to think it's good when these absolute depraved satanic fucks go steal shit from other countries.
So let's watch.
Anything that they've told you about their jobs or something you would need to know for well every year it's different, right?
We've been at it for a while and the climate has been has changed.
But this year it was all about the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're whoa.
The intelligence community, she's now letting the cat out of the bag and Stephen Colbert panics.
He panics.
You know why?
He panic.
He's panicking because he's been told not to let that out.
And he uses a technique called whoopie farting.
I think that he's been put in the awkward position of being a handler and he's a program puppet himself.
So it's awkward for him to have to be the handler for this other puppet.
I'll bet you both of them.
I'll bet good Dogecoin.
Both of them.
Go ahead.
What?
Both of them what?
They have taser scars from the program somewhere in their body.
So this could not be.
This should be a huge story.
Should have been a huge story when it happened.
I just saw it on Twitter the other day.
This is this should make your hair stand on end.
And watch this.
And the intelligence world and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're lying.
Look how she goes, oh, she goes, the intelligence community started allying itself with journalists.
How long have you start shooting this?
Oh, stop talking.
That is unbelievable.
Yeah, she's punished hard for that.
And watch this.
Watch.
And watch his body language.
I want you to watch his body language.
Watch his body language.
Usually they're lying.
This season.
How long ago did you start shooting?
Why is this?
Ha!
Ha!
You see that?
How long ago?
This is worse than Jon Stewart saying the virus is made in the lab, which was.
You remember when Jon Stewart said that we woke the, yeah, he had to stop that.
Yeah.
Look at this.
Oh, Oi!
Dai!
Oi!
Ixne!
Ixne!
Here, let me play it without interruption.
Let's watch this.
So Now, one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies?
We do.
It's like the coolest part of my job.
Who sets that up?
Who calls the CIA and goes, we just like to come in and hang out with you guys?
Yeah, so Henry Burmel, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago.
But his dad was in the CIA and his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, a very accomplished person there.
And he recently retired.
But in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it like, you know.
So we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to like real spooks.
And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really.
Well, every year it's different, right?
We've been at it for a while and the climate has been has changed.
But this year it was all about.
The climate has changed, meaning Trump's president.
Oh, not the client.
It's not climate change.
Yeah.
You know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're going to start shooting this season.
I'm sorry.
So she says there's a distrust between the administration and the intelligence community, meaning the intelligence community's boss, the civilian elected leader of the military and the intelligence community, the civilian control that it's in our Constitution.
That's the part that there's a distrust between the people, the people that have been elected by the electorate, the citizens of the United States to run the intelligence community and run the military.
There's a distrust between them.
And now the people who are elected by the civilians to run it are now the people they don't trust are now allying with journalists.
And he's like, whoa, stop.
Whoa.
Even this dipshit could see how bad that sounds.
Look at that.
Look at that look.
Look at that look.
Look at her.
And look at that.
Look at her brain face while she's.
Look at her blurting out the secret with that look, like a malfunctioning piece of equipment, which is what she is.
So that's Stephen Colbert trying to stop an inconvenient truth that just popped up on his show.
And he's doing a whoopee.
He's doing a whoopee fart and waving his hand around.
Project Whoopee fart, in effect.
AC caught this.
You can see his body language immediately shift to, oh, yeah.
I love her body language of just a ding bat blathering nonsense.
Well, a thing that they're waiting programmer to keep a secret.
Look at her face.
And then the CIA went and took over journalism.
So just so you know, what they're revealing here is that the president is not in charge.
That means you're not in charge and your vote don't count.
That's what all that means.
That the president is not in charge and that the people who run our intelligence community and our military, they're the ones deciding what to do.
And they get in bed with the media, the journalists, the TV shows, entertainment, Hollywood.
Community is a wrong word for them.
They're a coven, the intelligence community.
The intelligence coven.
Yes.
And here, thanks to our friend James Lee, he has.
How does this happen?
How is the intelligence community legally allowed to propagandize Americans?
Bobby Kennedy's going to let you know.
There's a provision in the CIA charter that says that the CIA cannot propagandize the American people.
President Obama adopted in 2016 that essentially reopened the door for Operation Mockingbird so that the CIA began once again to propagandize Americans.
How are they doing that?
President.
High-level intelligence officials are, or people associated with the intelligence industry, are running those journals, like Noah Schlachman, who runs Rolling Stone, who came from Daily Beast.
Daily Beast, which was, you know, has deep ties to the intelligence agencies.
But even journals like Smithsonian and Smithsonian and National Geographic Nature, the Washington Post, the New York Times appear to be compromised by the CIA.
We know from the Twitter files that both the FBI and CIA were operating portals within the Twitter and Facebook that allowed them to manipulate information and to deplatform people and to silence certain people that they didn't like in those in the social media.
Operation Mockingbird was an operation to compromise American journalists.
There were some 400 editors, journalists from all the largest publications.
The New York Times had been compromised.
The Washington Post was made...
Well, they were functioning, the high-level people at those journals were actually working for the agency or had signed secrecy agreements with the CIA.
And at CBS, ABC, NBC, after 75, when it all came out during the church committee hearings, the CIA promised that it would no longer compromise American journalists.
It continued the program to compromise journalists all over the world.
And today, the CIA is the biggest funder of journalism in the world.
How about presenting it through USAID.
In that little twilight zone before you fall asleep every night, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do in the first weeks when I get into office about fixing these agencies.
One at a time.
You know, that's something I'm excited about.
If you like this video and you want.
So here, I first saw this.
Max Blumenthal tweeted this out.
What?
This is a CIA agent letting you know exactly how they manipulate journalists.
Another thing is to disseminate propaganda to influence people's minds.
And this is a major function of the CIA.
And unfortunately, of course, it overlaps into the gathering of information.
You have contact with a journalist.
You will give him true stories.
You'll get information from him.
You'll also give him false stories.
Did you buy his confidence with true stories?
You buy his confidence and set him up.
We've seen this happen recently with Jack Anderson, for example, who has his intelligence sources, and he has also admitted that he's been set up by them.
Every fifth story just simply being false.
You also work on their human vulnerabilities to recruit them in a classic sense, make them your agent so that you can control what they do.
So you don't have to set them up sort of, you know, by putting one over on them.
So you can say, here, plant this one next Tuesday.
Can you do this with responsible reporters?
Yes, the church committee brought it out in 1975, and then Woodward and Bernstein put an article in Rolling Stone a couple of years later.
400 journalists cooperating with the CIA, including some of the biggest names in the business, to consciously introduce the stories into the press.
Walter Cronkite, definitely, because he's the Bohemian Grove narrator at their weird ceremony.
Oh, really?
All your fabes are industry plants.
And by industry, I mean military industry.
So here's one more.
David Summers says, this makes me wonder how much Colbert himself was directly involved in coordinating these psyops.
I remember when him, Seth Myers, Trevor Noah, and John Oliver repeated almost verbatim Nancy Pelosi's talking points about the border crisis being caused by Trump all on the same night.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert is not so much James Bond as he is more Bond's medicated footpowder because now he's on the run.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, that was quite, I can't, I don't think I'll ever get over this piss picture.
I mean, Colbert is blown away looking at her speech.
And I love it.
Look at her mid blurt.
Look at her face.
Ah, your country's fake, everybody.
Just so you know, immediately she starts to tell him that the CIA is working with journalists.
And all of a sudden, he's like, hey, what did you start shooting?
Yeah.
What did you, what did, by the way, let me completely get off this topic while my audience goes to see Steph wants to see it one more time.
Okay, so now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies?
Oh, we do.
It's like the coolest part of my job.
Who sets that up?
Who calls the CIA and goes, we just like to come in and hang out with you guys?
Yeah, so Henry Burmel, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago.
But his dad was in the CIA and his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, very accomplished person there.
And he recently retired.
But in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it like, you know, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to like real spooks and people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really tell you that like what's the most surprising thing that they've told you about their jobs or something you would need to know for well every year it's different right we've been at it for a while and and the climate has been has changed but this year it was all about you know the distrust between the administration and and
you're looking at a freeze frame of project monarch falling apart in front of your very eyes yeah all right we're gonna start popping off more of these people hey become a premium member go to jimmydorkomedy.com sign up it's the most affordable premium program in the business all the voices performed today are by the one and
