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April 4, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:08:57
20190404_TJDS_20190404_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey there, Jimmy.
It's Vince Vaughan.
AKAZ.
Vince, how are you doing?
Well, I'm a Republican, so needless to say, I'm doing quite well, to be honest.
Thank you for asking.
It's quite considerate of you to do so, if I may say so myself.
Oh, yeah.
Well, why is that?
Why, items in the news, of course.
What items are you referring to, Vince?
Well, Mr. Independent Journalist, speaking truth to power, destroying people online in your vicious takedown videos, I shouldn't have to tell you what's up.
You should know what's up.
But what in particular, Vince, are you...
All right, okay.
Well, well, well.
What?
Once again, another Democrat is accused of being a little handsy.
What a surprise.
No, honestly, I'm shocked.
I truly am, James L. Dore.
No, L is not my middle.
See, I'm genuinely shocked.
It never occurred to me that yet another Democrat could be outed as a creepy pervert.
I thought we had reached a point where that was beyond a statistical possibility.
I mean, are there even any more Democrats left to accuse?
What do you have to say to yourself?
Myself?
I'm not a Democrat, Vince.
Lefty, whatever.
You're all the same.
Well, Joe Biden's not a lefty.
You got that right.
When it comes to Grop and Bronze, he's pretty amidextrient.
All right.
What?
What's the matter, baby?
Are you jealous?
Are you a little jelly that you didn't get a little rubber dub in the dub yourself?
You left out by creepy Uncle Joe.
You got a case of lonely nips there, Snaggle Push?
Sorry, that one kind of got away from me a little bit.
All right, Vince, no one's claiming sexual assault.
And not that I'm in the business of defending establishment Democrats, but Joe Biden's transgressions do pale in comparison to what Donald Trump is accused of doing.
You take that back.
No.
All right, fine.
But at least Trump wasn't dumb enough to be caught on video doing his business.
Uh-huh.
Biden's on camera, blatantly, flagrantly, walking up to women, smelling them, rubbing them, nuzzling their sweaters and shit.
Have you seen this?
Yes.
Yes, I have.
Yep.
He looks like a sixth-grade science teacher demonstrating how static electricity works.
Right.
Right.
Okay, class.
I need a volunteer.
You, Congresswoman Kirby Chest.
Now take this balloon.
Okay, okay, we get it, Vince.
Look, as a Republican and kind of a slime ball, I know what people can and can't get away with when it comes to all this stuff.
This hugging and kissing and nuzzling that Biden does.
It would be fine if he were Latino or Italian or some shit.
Those same women who came who are coming forward and complaining, if his last name ended in a vowel, I guarantee they'd have been giggling and blushing and saying, ooh, what an interesting culture.
Yeah, I don't think.
But he's not.
He's this looming Irish lurch dude.
He gets too close to your ear.
You think he's going to vow to cut your throat in a whiskey breath whisper.
Not cool.
Okay.
Look, guys like Biden need to get the non-sexual rocks off rubbing women's shoulders or whatever.
There's places you can go to take care of that.
That need without getting in trouble.
What?
They're discreet, Jimmy.
Like massage parlors?
Yes, but a very special kind where you massage the woman.
No way.
Jess wait.
You go in for a massage, but instead of getting a handy at the end, you and the Asian lady switch places.
You go to town on her shoulders, smell her hair, go crazy.
Okay, if you say so.
I'm telling you, there's a place for everybody, every political pervert, to go to let off their steam, whatever their scheme is.
Okay.
But I read Bernie Sanders' erotica that he wrote years ago.
Between you and me, he might have to go to Tangier or some shit to quench that fire.
*music*
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...up-minded, lowly-lovered lapdies.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk when you're T-bagging.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
Our next live Jimmy Dore show, June 5th in Hermosa Beach, California.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all our live show tickets.
We're coming to your town, too.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Did you hear that Paul Ryan came out and he said that he had a talk with AOC, Alexandria Casio-Cortez, and Paul Ryan says that AOC didn't listen to a word he said, which is something else AOC has in common with everyone else.
Boy, you remember the debates with Hillary Clinton and Trump, and Trump was inviting all of Bill Clinton's past.
You remember that.
Boy, I got to tell you, at the rate he's going, the Trump administration already has a debate guest list ready if Joe Biden's the nominee.
I'll tell you that.
I don't know if you know, but Bernie Sanders' campaign just scored the most money, over $18 million in just 40 days from more small donors than any other candidate.
And it's scaring all the right people.
Take a look at Jeff Bezos' rag, The Washington Post, the richest man in the world of newspaper, where Dana Milbank calls Bernie Sanders the, quote, Trump of the left, end quote.
These soulless gargoyles would rather see Trump get a second term than have a progressive in the White House.
Yes, democracy dies in the darkness of the fulfillment center.
Hey, did you hear this is breaking?
America's most wanted is canceled.
They caught everyone.
Hey, did you hear that?
We've got a new Mars rover.
Jerry, about this, NASA.
They just revealed their three top designs for houses on Mars.
And to make our astronauts feel more at home, none of them will be affordable.
And an added bonus, Mars is already a food desert.
The Mars rover also discovered methane gas on Mars.
Did you know that?
Come on, methane gas on Mars, but not on Uranus.
Come on.
Fake news.
Am I right?
That's dumb.
What's the Democratic Party's platform?
Trust no one who's not us and unity.
Come on, we got to unite.
The Democrats are saying we have to unite.
If we could all just unite around someone who says they'll do something but really won't, we might be able to keep Trump from getting his fourth term.
But people are going nuts about Joe Biden and all his, you know, nose-sniffing hair, touch-in face, kissing.
You know, in Washington, getting your hair snout probed by complete strangers, followed by a moist waft of tortured sewer gas creeping down your neck.
That's just called Tuesday.
We now join our regular program, already in progress, Russia Gate 2 Electric Moogaloo.
Act 2, debunked but not defunct.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Today we come to you live from Ventura, California, from our live show on Sunday, where we talked about Keith Olbermann going crazy.
Establishment Dems still don't want you to fight for what you believe in.
CNN pretends the Jussie Smollett case is unknowable.
Plus, progressive candidate Tulsi Gabbard stops by the Jimmy Door show to smack down her corporate critics.
Plus, we got phone calls today from George Clooney, Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, and Double V Vince Vaughan.
Plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Watch the language.
*laughter*
Great to be here.
Look at this place to crack out.
*crowd cheers*
What people don't remember, but I do, is that when Barack Obama got elected, the right wing freaked out, right?
They freaked out, oh my God, a black guy with a Muslim name.
To them, that was the equivalent of Donald Trump being elected to the corporate Democrats, right?
So that's what that's what.
And watch how they freaked out.
This is how they used to, this is how they used to talk about stuff when Barack Obama got elected.
I want to start at the beginning because this is important.
You got to start it with the make the case.
Barack Obama is ruining America.
He's destroying everything that makes us great.
Okay.
Okay, there you go.
That's how they were feeling.
And he would bring on people like Chuck, even Chuck Norris was upset.
Watch this.
You know, I feel like I'm in a nightmare and I can't wake up, John.
And I really don't, you know, I wish I knew what to do.
You know, the thing is, I have solutions, but.
But they all involve hair dye and kicking.
I think hair dye is being generous, Jimmy.
That is a rug.
And here's John Boehner when he was speaker and Barack Obama got elected.
Here's what he said.
We're about 24 hours from Armadedon.
Whoa.
What are you hearing again here?
We're about 24 hours from Armadeddon.
That's Armadillo.
Now that's Armadedan.
That's not Armageddon.
That's Armadedan.
That's when they kill you with an armadillo.
That's how bad it was when Barack Obama was president.
But now we have this jackass.
And so you remember how freaked out Sean Hannity and Chuck Norris were?
Watch this guy.
This guy's pretty freaked out, too.
We are at war with Russia.
Okay.
Okay.
No, we're not.
How about that?
Not at war with Russia.
Let's watch them get a little crazier.
Or perhaps more correctly, we have lost a war with Russia without a battle.
We are no longer a sovereign nation.
We are no longer a democracy.
We are no longer a free people.
We are the victims of a bloodless coup.
So far, a lot of people.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There was Russia performed a coup on the United States.
Russia can't even get their good vodka into fucking Trader Joe's.
Are you shitting me?
All right, here we go.
He goes a little more nuts.
Donald John Trump, a man who, to borrow a phrase from another December long ago, will live in infamy.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
There is no time for a full review or a measured analysis or recommendations to prevent interference in our future elections because permitting Donald Trump to assume the office of president reduces the chance that we will have any future elections.
The nation at all.
I'm waiting for Chuck Norris to stick his head in here somewhere.
I have some solutions, Keith.
I noticed that you don't have any hair dye, Keith.
You know, I dye my hair, and I don't do it for myself because I don't have to look at myself all day.
I dye my hair for fucking you people, okay?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Of our freedoms hang by a thread, and the military apparatus of this country is about to be handed over to scum who are beholden to scum, Russian scum.
Now put any other nationality in there, and you couldn't do it.
You couldn't.
No one.
That's the only one.
That just shows you that this is xenophobia.
Because if you did, you couldn't say Italian scum.
Fucking Italian scum.
You couldn't say, you couldn't say Mexican scum.
Fuck it.
You couldn't say any of that.
But you could scream Russian scum and GQ would put it on their fucking channel.
By the way, this is proof you shouldn't get your intelligence from a fashion magazine.
That's his.
I mean, that's kind of.
Is there anybody in there who is Russian, by the way?
Is there anyone here who's Russian?
I don't think they're going to tell you.
You're Russian right here.
What is your name, young lady?
Katie, doesn't that make you feel good to hear him screaming that you're scum?
Doesn't that make you feel good?
No, of course I'm being sarcastic, Katie.
And you look, and you know, can't even tell you're trying to undermine our government right now.
I can't even tell.
Is she drinking a white Russian?
No, she's drinking arrowhead water, right?
Is that what you're drinking?
Yeah, she's got the water.
She's trying to keep her head clear so she can fucking take us down.
God bless you.
God bless you.
This is my, this video, I'm going to call it Ruski madness, right?
As opposed to Russia madness.
I mean, reefer madness.
So here's Keith Olbermann inventing his own conspiracy theory.
You want to hear this?
Like, so we all know the conspiracy theory was that Trump and Russia hooked up to switch.
You know what's funny?
I always thought, like, what did Trump do to help the, like, the Russians are like, we'd like to hack your election, but we need Trump to help us.
Like, what the fuck would Trump do that he'd screw it up?
Oh, damn it.
Donnie, we're really counting on you now.
Okay, so listen to this conspiracy theory He has.
That quote, the Russians hacked the Republican National Committee's computer systems in addition to their attacks on Democratic organizations, but did not release whatever information they gleaned from the Republican networks.
It is a short leap from that conclusion.
And it is anything but a conspiracy theory to be wondering if the Russians hacked the RNC and have kept what they found there to make sure Trump and the Republicans obeyed.
No, that doesn't sound like a conspiracy theory at all, Keith.
That sounds like good and sober reasoning by a fucking maniac.
That's what that sounds like.
I don't know.
It sounds like sounds like shit Glenn Beck would say about Barack Obama.
That's what it used to sound like.
Sounds like shit Rush Limbaugh used to say on the radio.
That's what it sounds like.
It doesn't sound like anything else except fucking rantings of a maniac, you fucking idiot.
That's what it sounds like.
And don't forget, he's the reason we got Rachel Maddow on MSNBC.
You might be wondering what the hell happened to me.
I used to be insightful.
I even had a segment dedicating to Bill Hicks.
Now I'm in front of a green screen and I don't have any pants on.
Ratchet Scum!
*crowd laughs*
I gotta say, it's pretty weird, though, that his background is Russian red.
I gotta tell you that.
And the military apparatus of this country is about to be handed over to scum who are beholden to scum, Russian scum.
As things are today, January 20th will not be an inauguration, but rather the end of the United States as an independent country.
It will not be a peaceful change of power.
It will be a usurpation.
And the usurper has no validity, no credibility, and no authority under the Constitution.
Oh, I think he just described a bunch of corporations that actually run this country.
What I heard.
That will become the only reality until this country rids itself of Donald John Trump.
He is not a president.
He is a puppet put in power by Vladimir Putin.
And those who ignore these elemental existential facts, Democrats or Republicans, are traitors to this country and will immediately and forever after be held accountable.
Well, I'm still waiting to be held accountable, Keith.
Because apparently I'm a traitor to this country if I don't immerse myself in fucking bullshit conspiracy theorists that are evidence-free.
If I don't red bait the president of the United States, I am a traitor to our country and I'm going to be held accountable.
I'm still waiting, Keith, whenever you're ready.
Oh, you don't do this anymore.
You talk about sports now like it's important because you're a fucking empty shell of a human who just red baited for two fucking years straight.
So why did Hillary lose?
There's many reasons, but the big reason I think is right here.
Here's George Bush talking with a woman who seemed, and you remember this?
Do you remember this?
Okay, here we go.
Watch this.
Nevertheless, there's a certain comfort to know that the promises made will be kept by the government.
Yes.
And so thank you for asking that.
You don't have to worry.
That's good because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute.
You work three jobs.
Three jobs, yes.
Uniquely American independent.
I mean, that is fantastic.
You work three jobs.
That is fantastic.
That's fantastic that in America, one job doesn't provide you a living wage.
Isn't that fucking great that you have to go get a couple more jobs?
I never even had a real job once in my life.
Right now, Dick Cheney's doing all the shit I'm supposed to be doing.
Oh, come on, give me a break.
So that's what the problem is in the country, is that people like this have to work three jobs just to make ends meet.
That's what's kind of fucked up in this country.
And so they hated George Bush because he would say shit like that and he had no answers for anybody, right?
So George Bush has no answers.
So we then elect a black guy with a Muslim name who says he's a lefty and we think he's going to implement lefty policies like Medicare for all and break up the banks and a living wage and a green needle.
We think he's going to do all that shit for us, except this is what he actually did.
The truth of the matter is, is that my policies are so mainstream that, you know, if I had said the same policies that I have back in the 1980s, I'd be considered a moderate Republican.
I mean, you know.
So we have George Bush, we elect this guy to fix it, and he just does more George Bush fucking policies.
And so people think we had a lefty for eight years, when of course you know we didn't.
We had Mitt Romney.
And yeah, and that's the problem.
So people's lives got worse under Barack Obama.
Income disparity got bigger.
The banks got bigger.
He took us from two wars to seven.
He made the Bush tax cuts fucking permanent.
He kicked Graham Melman out of his house.
That's what that fucking guy did.
And that's why we got Donald Trump.
And here's Dylan Radigan.
Now, Dylan Radigan, he used to have a show on MSNBC, and then he told the truth about the banks one day.
And now he has to do news reports from a park.
And here's what he has to say about the Clintons.
So again, while the FBI director example gives those with a partisan view against Donald Trump, and it's easy to be against Donald Trump, the obvious fuel to suggest that he's a criminal who's a terrible guy, blah, blah, blah, under investigation.
Probably true.
But if you believe that, then you probably also need to consider that Hillary Clinton was taking money through her foundation to do weapons deals overseas while personally enriching herself.
And that Barack Obama is paid off by the private health insurance companies and the banks to make sure that we don't actually have proper health care or a functioning financial system.
It's hard to believe one and not accept the other two.
And that's what happened.
And Dylan Radigan is so committed to telling you guys the truth that his bus came in the middle of that report and he ignored it.
That's true.
True story.
It's true.
So here is when a CBS reporter met some regular voters.
And here's what the regular voters had to say about WikiLeaks in Russia.
Here's what they said.
I've been a Democrat all my life.
I think the Democrats not only are they out of touch, they have no interest in correcting the situation.
They're not doing any post-mortems.
They're writing off, well, we don't own the White House because of Putin or because of WikiLeaks.
What did WikiLeaks tell us, by the way?
Regardless of who was behind it, they confirmed that Hillary Clinton and the Democratic establishment are liars and that they had this dumb on the scale for Hillary Clinton.
Well, so what are they basically saying?
If we hadn't been caught lying, we'd be running the country.
That's a regular person.
That's not some jagoff inside the bellway.
And so that's the problem, right?
So they don't offer people anything.
We all know this, right?
Barack Obama governs like a right-wing Mitt Romney, and they don't offer people anything to make their lives better.
We now have tent cities all over, everywhere in the country.
And now this is what they want people to vote for.
Here we go.
Pennsylvania.
The New York Times writes, there are widespread worries that the momentum in Pennsylvania and in other key Rust Bell states could screech to a halt if the issues in the 2020 presidential primaries and the party's eventual nominee stray too far left for the region's many centrist voters.
The piece quotes.
Boom.
Boy, if only we could run an experiment to see what would work.
If only we could get a fucking centrist and run them against Donald Trump in Pennsylvania.
I wonder how that would turn out.
I wonder how that would turn on.
And he mentioned Pennsylvania.
Is that the same Pennsylvania that just elected a super lefty DA and just elected two car-carrying DSA members to city council?
That's it, Pennsylvania.
I think it's that one.
Yeah, Philadelphia has that super progressive DA, the Black Lives Matter lawyer who became DA.
Yeah, Pennsylvania.
You don't want to go left.
You have to have two DSA members in city council now.
So here's what more shit they say.
Former Pennsylvania governor and former Democratic National Committee chairman Ed Rendell saying the more we have presidential candidates or newly elected congresspeople talking about the Green New Deal, talking about Medicare for all, talking about socialism, the more that plays into the Trump campaign's hands.
These motherfuckers, their message is don't fight for shit you believe in.
Don't fight for shit you believe in.
Vote for us.
We're not going to fight for shit.
You believe in.
That's not a winning strategy, fuckface.
This is Medicare for all, something every other Western country has figured out fucking decades ago.
But to Ed Rundell, it's a goddamn Rubik's Cube.
What?
How does this matter?
You give people medicine and it's cheaper?
I don't understand what the fuck.
And everybody, if you just get sick, you just go get wet.
I don't understand it.
How do you do this?
Zero bankruptcies?
What are you talking about?
Can't have that.
This is the equivalent.
I love the Democratic Party today.
Is the equivalent of like JFK going, putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade, a little too hard to do.
All right?
You got to do it incrementally.
It's a purity test, end of the decade.
Let's not go crazy.
Rosa Parks, just incrementally move your way to the front of the bus.
Don't just sit there, just one row at a time for a couple of years.
Just stop rocking the boat.
So here comes Ed Rundell.
He's going to say some stupid shit.
Governor Rundell joins me now.
Governor, good to see you.
Thank you for being with us.
How do you square this?
Boy, if that doesn't look like the face of progress.
Oh my God.
Is that Alexander Haig's little brother?
Jesus Christ.
This looks like progress is dead.
Yeah.
They brought back Mr. Potter.
How many hookers has he killed at a country club?
You know what I mean?
Like, let's be honest.
I mean that in a nice way.
You once said I was nothing more than a worked, frustrated old man.
Well, look at you.
What are you?
Nothing more than a frustrated young man.
I'm calling the bank examiners.
We're on a war for your rest.
Because the Democratic base is riled up.
41%, according to a recent poll, 41% of Democrats want the party to be more progressive or more liberal.
A larger number want the party to be more moderate.
But boy, those are tight numbers when you're talking about 40% on one side, a little more than 50% on the other side.
How do you square this?
Well, I think people.
You gotta ask the right question, Allie.
I bet we're going to lose again.
I just have that feeling.
Question is, do you want Washington to get things done?
I think when you frame it that way, 75% of Democrats, maybe 80%, 85% would say yes.
Did you see?
He said if you frame it this way, do you want to vote for someone who can get something done?
Then 85%, what, like, I guess progressives.
Remember, FDR didn't get anything done?
I don't know if you remember that.
Yeah, the New Deal was just a centrist platitude.
That's what I think he did.
That's how he got us out of the depression.
Look at how tired he looks.
I need a cup of coffee just looking at him.
He's just so sleepy.
I've been spewing Wall Street bullshit for so long that I've fallen, my head has fallen permanently to the right.
I am human ampium.
I conducted a poll that was funded by Goldman Sachs and it says, I don't know, I'm just going to pick a number out of the goddamn sky.
85% of all rich people agree that I should say something profound and emphatic and raise my hand like that.
Here we go.
Well, not mislead the public.
The Green New Deal, for example, everyone supports the overall goals.
Everyone supports the overall goals of the Green.
You know what the overall goal of the Green New Deal is?
That we don't fucking die.
That would be the overall.
That would be the overall goal.
And he agrees with it, but we're going to have to die.
We'd like to not die, but that's cost a lot of money.
Friend, doesn't work, and the cost factor would be significant.
Medicare for all, under certain circumstances, could work, but it hasn't worked in states that tried it.
But it's worked everywhere else in the fucking world.
I don't want to talk about that.
Let's talk about Vermont.
Let's talk about something else.
Bernie Sanders is Vermont.
You know, of course, that Vermont repealed it after two years because it just cost too much and they couldn't raise enough taxes to support it.
So what we don't want to.
Where are you going to get less money from?
Who's going to not pay for it?
Do is lose the 2020 election.
Donald Trump cannot win the 2020 election.
I think 2018 should.
I think he's going to wipe your fucking ass.
I'll tell you that.
If you ran against him, he'd beat your fucking ass.
That's right.
That he was rebuffed by over 9 million more voters voting for Democrats for Congress than Republicans.
He can only be elected president again, be re-elected if we lose it.
If we lose it by coming out with enough statements and enough positions that the voters get scared and say, we don't want to be a socialist government either.
Donald Trump used that term in his State of the Union speech very craftily.
He's going to try to paint the Democratic Party as a socialist party.
So let me ask you this.
Can you get away with it?
If you.
I don't know if you know that, Ed.
I know you're 100 years old.
But people now understand that socialism means they can go to a doctor when they get sick.
The state that has the most new DSA chapters is Texas.
The fucking Democrats, if they ran hard left, could fucking crush everybody.
If they ran a populist, working-class socialist platform like, I don't know, FDR fucking did, they would never lose.
And so we got to listen to this guy and go, I haven't worked since 1918.
Was the last time I didn't have a corporate guy paying for my blowjobs?
So.
Look at the Green New Deal.
To some, and I'm not making the argument, but I've heard the argument that this is in response to an administration that doesn't accept the reality of climate change.
When you look at Medicare for all, it's in response to an administration and a Republican Congress that has worked to undo Obamacare without coming up with something that is a better replacement.
So to the extent that people are so frustrated by what this administration is doing, and they want somebody who will hold that banner, who will carry that banner.
Does moderation work?
Will it get enough people out to vote to support Democrats?
I mean, he's saying people are really frustrated, Ed.
I don't know if you hear that, but if you keep promising them half a loaf of bread, they're not going to vote for you again.
So Ali Veshi is also a corporate tool.
He's on it, though, on this question, and he's making a good point.
Let's hear what Fuck Face says.
moderation that tells voters the truth will work.
Donald Trump I guess Hillary Clinton was a big fucking liar then, Ed.
Is that what you're saying?
Single payer will never come to pass.
Lied to his voters.
He lied to those blue-collar voters in Pennsylvania when he said he was going to have their interest at heart.
That tax bill didn't have their interest at heart.
The things he's done on overtime and workers' rights doesn't have their interest at heart.
We can't be guilty of the same thing.
We've got to tell people what can and can't be done.
Look, I would love all of our electricity to be done from renewables.
I worked hard in Pennsylvania to reach that goal or to start us down the path that goal.
But we can't do it by 2030.
The experts say maybe 2045.
And we've got to talk.
I think we could probably do it five years after we all die.
Or maybe two years after Florida goes underwater.
I'm not sure exactly, but we can't do it before then.
That's for fucking sure.
I would love free college for everyone.
But as Amy Klobucher said, we simply can't afford free college.
What a gaslighting motherfucker this guy is.
And this is why the Democrats suck the biggest cock I've ever seen.
Because this is bullshit.
We can't afford pre-college.
$700 billion for bombs?
A fucking course we can.
We're spending $200 billion more on the Pentagon than we were at the height of the Iraq war.
That would pay for free college and homelessness, and you'd still have $100 billion left over.
So fuck you, Ed Rendell.
Boy, that's Chris Christie on the phone.
Hey, Chris, hello.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Usually at this point, I'd ask you something like, you think you're some kind of what-soever or so-and-so, don't you?
And then you deny it, and then I challenge your denial.
And then a pointless discourse would spiral on from there, right?
Yeah, it sounds familiar, yes.
Well, that ain't gonna happen this time.
Good.
You know why?
No, why?
Because you ain't worth it.
Okay, Chris.
You think you're worth it, but you're not.
So I ain't gonna waste my time on you because my time is too important for that.
Your time, however.
Is not important?
Bingo, give the man a big cigar.
If he's not too much of a wimp to handle it, which he is, meaning you are a wimp, and you can't handle a big cigar.
Your honor, I rest my case.
Why'd you call in today, Chris?
Congratulate me.
I just ate Raymond Burr's weight in ham.
Yeah, that doesn't sound healthy, Chris.
I never felt better.
So that contradicts your theory, Professor.
Don't you think you should change your diet just a little?
I mean, how about something healthier, like a vegetable?
Oh, no, too dangerous.
I'm scared of the Geico formulae today.
You mean glycophosphates?
Yeah, them too.
You can read all about my hopes and fears in my memory war.
That is if you ain't too cheap to buy a copy.
You too cheap?
Because I think you are.
Who's cheap?
You're not going to goad me into buying your book, Chris.
Cheapy, cheapest, and cheapskate.
Okay, I'll buy it.
You know what's what?
But not really.
But when you read my tomb, you'll find out.
So it seems like the new governor of New Jersey has spent the last 15 months erasing your legacy.
Did you notice that?
He just rescinded two of your executive orders.
He said hurt the environment.
I'll fucking rescind his ass.
Okay.
Okay, Christopher.
You know what the therapist said?
Count to 10.
Take a deep breath.
Calm down.
Ones, twos, threes, fours, fives, six, seventeen, eighty-five.
I'll fucking kill him.
Why can't I count?
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com, clicking on join premium.
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Thanks for your support.
Wow, that sounds like Mitt Romney on the phone.
Hey, Mitt, how are you?
I refuse to change my stance on cannabis, Jimmy.
It's an evil weed that leads to kissing.
Yeah, I just read that a Utah newspaper has challenged you on this.
Look, my friend, there's never really been a study on what is the actual benefit of taking a cannabis-related product.
The paper accurately reported that there are dozens of medical studies saying the opposite.
Well, your beloved monkey weed is not mentioned once in the sacred metal tablets that I have hidden in my panic room.
Wow, you got a panic room, Mitt?
Hush, not so loud.
I don't want the rest of the family to hear.
They might want in on it.
I thought you Republicans were supposed to be the party of family values.
Well, you got me all wrong, fella.
For instance, I'm all in favor of paid family leave, Jimmy.
Get this, for three whole months.
Three months?
Too long?
Yeah, I knew it.
I'm such a softie.
I should have gone with my first instincts and made it two weeks.
But where's your support for family values, Mitt?
I support family values, my friend.
But the second that family's been expelled out of God's fleshy birth machine, it's got to pull its own weight.
You mean a woman?
Women are not just women when they're the family way, my friend.
They become an assembly line for sacred life.
Kind of like the one Henry Ford made for the Model T only last year.
But how will you ever pay for paid family leave?
Oh, we Republicans have a plan.
We're going to subtract it from the mother's future social security payments.
Oh, so they're going to pay for it by suffering in their old age.
Well, if you can't handle old age, then maybe you never should have left your mommy's baby factory.
What do you think of the Democratic lineup for the primary?
Sanders just drew over $18 million in contributions in just 41 days, Mitt.
Chicken feed.
You're not worried about that amount of small contributions the Democratic candidates are raking in this early.
Take Pete Buttigig, for instance.
Pete, what?
But a gig.
He just took in $7 million.
Oh, that's not real money.
That's homo money.
I wish you would stop saying that on my show, Mitt.
Wait, are you recording this on your iPhone like that bartender did years ago?
Yes, I am.
Yes.
Let me get this straight.
You mean you're using modern technology to catch me saying stupid things that'll get me in trouble later?
Yeah, I guess so.
Well, fuck you, asshole.
I'm so angry.
I feel like firing up the mammeograph machine and canvassing your neighborhood with insulting leaflets.
Somebody bring me a phone.
We have special guests with us, Tulsi Gabbard is here.
Hi, Tulsi.
How are you?
Aloha, Jimmy.
Great to see you again.
Oh, aloha.
That's right.
I got to say aloha.
That's what's going on.
Now, if you don't know who she is, she's the representative for Hawaii's 2nd District, and she's held that position since 2013.
She's a veteran, a public servant, a progressive who's not afraid to stand up to the establishment, and she's running for president.
All right.
So, Tulsi, now you, honest God, I was looking up some the mother load of bad ideas.
And anyway, the smearing of you has been a remarkable thing to watch, right?
It's because I got my initiation into how corporate media treats anti-war voices by watching Phil Donahue on MSNBC and Jesse Ventura.
They fired both of them because they were against the Iraq war.
And then Michael Tracy also made a great observation.
He said, it's so early, but look at the lengths they've already gone to preemptively ostracize and disqualify Tulsi, calling her a genocide denier, a dictator lover, a Russian-backed plant, a cult member, a bigot.
The list goes on and really gives you insight about how the media operates.
It really does.
It's true.
And I want to show, what did you think when you saw this, Tulsi?
This is NBC News says the Russian propaganda machine that tried to influence the 2016 U.S. election is now promoting the presidential aspirations of 2020 candidate Tulsi Gabbard.
Now, what they don't tell you, now you knew this when you saw this, that this was based on a discredited firm and a discredited report, right?
Yes, I did.
And the interesting thing is we knew that they were going to put out the article.
It was supposed to come out sooner, but instead they chose to release that article just a couple hours before our campaign had our official kickoff event in Hawaii.
I was watching.
We were watching that day your live kickoff.
And yes, this is the timing was uncanny that they dropped this when you were launching your presidential campaign.
So it shows a coordinated effort of propaganda and slanderous propaganda from NBC News, which has a history of doing this to anti-war voices.
That's true.
That's true.
You know, we've seen how others took what was said at face value without actually looking at the fact that, as you said, the so-called sources they're crediting had been discredited, I believe, by the New York Times, right?
Of course, by the New York Times and by the company themselves admitted it.
So I'll say, so the company that this is based on is called New Knowledge.
Now, New Knowledge is the company that's writing the reports that the Senate is basing all of their reports on also.
So New Knowledge is a couple of grifters from the intelligence community that put together this cybersecurity firm that is supposed to be saving you from Russian bots.
And they'll save you from Russian bots for a price.
And how do I know there's Russian bots?
Well, it turns out this same company has been inventing Russian bots on the internet and doing it to smear Republican candidates.
They got caught doing it and then they admitted it.
And guess what?
So much so that the Facebook suspended their account.
One of the founders of the New Knowledge, who NBC bases this smear piece on, they say they found Russian bots, but the company that said they found the Russian bots got caught inventing fake Russian bots.
Do you see what?
So much so that Facebook even kicked them off Facebook.
This hardly seems real.
It seems unreal.
And NBC News never corrected that.
And what's even worse, I don't expect NBC to correct it, but what was even worse is that no other progressive news organizations debunk this.
And you know why they didn't, Tulsi?
Because if they would have debunked this, it would have debunked their Russia gate theory because it was based on this discredited organization called New Knowledge, which was inventing fake Twitter Russian bots so they can then sell you the solution to the Russian bots.
And so you get caught up in this because you're an easy target.
And plus the military industrial complex, which funds NBC News, which is the problem with news.
They're funded and owned by the people they're supposed to be investigating and exposing.
And that's how something like this happens, right?
Yeah.
I mean, look, this is such a problem when we see too many people in the media whose sole interest is either more money or more ratings so that they can get more money, that they're no longer honor, you know, doing what was an honorable or what is an honorable job in journalism and providing people with the facts and truth and information about what's really going on and instead doing things like this to serve their own interests.
So there's that saying, if you read the, if you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed.
If you do read the newspaper, you're misinformed.
And that's what this is.
And Chomsky says, you know, all the facts that you need, they're in the paper, but you have to hold it up sideways and tilt it and the lights got to hit it just right.
And then you have to gather the facts because they put them all together in an incorrect way.
Yeah, I mean, you know this, though.
I think more and more, maybe it's a recent, relatively recent phenomenon over the last few years is people are asking more questions about what they're being told and are becoming more cynical.
And it's a question I often get asked by people like, where can I actually find just the news?
Where can I find the facts?
Where can I find the information?
So I think that that's a healthy thing that there's a healthy dose of skepticism there.
And people are looking for just give me the facts straight up and let me make my own decisions.
Just to put a button on this, this was from the Washington Post talking about that.
They say Facebook has suspended the account of Jonathan Morgan.
He's one of the founders of that organization, New Knowledge.
The chief executive and top social media critic firm after reports that he and others engaged in an operation to spread disinformation during the special election in Alabama last year.
And those are the people that NBC News was basing their smear of a veteran on redbaiting her, calling her a Putin puppet or implying that.
And here's what Caitlin Johnstone says.
This is great.
She goes, the real thing they fear is allowing Tulsi Gabbard's anti-interventionist ideas to take hold within the mainstream consciousness of a nation whose nonstop military interventionism is the glue that holds the empire together.
So you're standing up against that.
And that's why people are coming at you really hard, right?
Yeah, it is.
There's no question about it.
You've been called a war hawk.
You've even called yourself a hawk on terrorism, right?
And that upsets some people.
So you want to explain what you mean by that.
And a dove when it comes to regime change wars.
Yeah, so that's what I've first heard.
Something that a lot of people don't understand, right?
Is people talk about forever wars.
What does that mean?
What are they referring to?
Because there are different wars that are being waged and that our country is waging right now.
We were attacked on 9-11.
Al-Qaeda launched this attack and began and waged this war.
Al-Qaeda and terrorist groups like ISIS that have branched off from Al-Qaeda remain a threat.
They are a threat to the security and safety of the American people, both as a soldier, as a member of Congress, and as commander-in-chief, that is a threat that we need to defeat to ensure our safety.
The regime change wars that our country has been waging most recently in Iraq, in Libya, in Syria, the U.S.-led regime change interventions that we're seeing in Venezuela, how leaders in this administration are beating their war drums, trying to lay down the groundwork to go to a regime change war in Iran.
These are all things that counter our interests in this country.
They undermine our national security.
These wars, the regime change wars in the Middle East, they strengthen terrorist groups like ISIS and Al-Qaeda.
They increase the suffering of the people in those countries where we're waging these wars.
They take a heavy toll on our service members and our veterans.
And they cost every single one of us in this country, which is something that's not often talked about.
The trillions of dollars that are going to pay for these regime change wars, they're coming out of our pockets.
And they're coming out of our pockets instead of saying, how can we use the limited resources that we have to address the very real urgent pressing needs that people in this country have?
That we still have sick people in this country who can't get the health care they need.
That we still have people in this country in cities like Flint who are being poisoned by their water.
There are urgent and pressing needs.
I talk about this issue, the cost of war, so much because addressing it and bringing about this sea change in our foreign policy is central.
It is central to everything else.
And now we're in a place where we are facing a new Cold War with these heightening tensions between the United States and nuclear-armed countries like Russia and China, nuclear arms race being kicked off, you know, Trump withdrawing from the INF treaty, rather than building off of the historic change that Reagan and Gorbachev negotiated by strengthening the treaty and expanding it.
We are in a dangerous place as a result of the.
People don't realize how experts realize how dangerous we are.
We've come close to this new Cold War.
That's right.
The people who are the experts on it, like Stephen Cohen, he said that it's worse than it's ever been, and he's the biggest expert.
He's been studying Russian U.S. relations since the 70s.
Also, Chomsky says the same thing, and they say that the doomsday clock is closer than it's ever been.
That's true.
And so people don't realize that attacking Trump from the right with Russia gate, saying that he is a Manchurian candidate and a foreign agent of a hostile power, doing that has now made Trump have to react.
So I'm not that.
And look, and so what he's actually done is not do favors for Putin and Russia.
He's actually ramped up the military NATO on his border.
Hard in the opposite direction.
That's the real danger here is when you have people who are more interested in playing politics than acting in the interest of the people.
And there are guilty parties in both parties that are doing this.
This is the result that we end up with.
Something that is actually making us less safe.
It's making the world less safe.
Something that my constituents and people in Hawaii know all too well with that missile alert that we got last year.
Oh my God, that's right.
That came across a text alert came across over a million phones early on a Saturday morning in Hawaii that said, missile incoming, seek shelter immediately.
This is not a drill.
So people are waking up.
I think, okay, why don't you go to the beach today or, you know, mow the lawn.
This message comes out and immediately, what do you do when you have just minutes to live?
Thing said, seek shelter immediately.
Where do you go?
You know, we had kids on the college campus at the University of Hawaii.
There were security cameras that got footage of them sprinting across campus trying to find a building that they felt might keep them safe.
Wow.
We had, I heard from a father who talked about how he had one child on one side of the island, another child on the other side of the island at that moment.
And he sat there and trying to figure out which of my children do I go and spend the last minutes of my life with.
Wow.
It's a huge, huge wake-up call.
And while that alert turned out to be false, the reason why it was so terrifying and we reacted in the way that we did was because this threat is real.
And it's not just real for people in Hawaii.
It's real for us across the country.
And this is only increasing.
It is only being exacerbated by the fact that our leaders have failed us.
So let me just, so you also said, so now you were a hawk on, you said that you were a hawk on terrorism.
Yeah.
And people look at that as a negative, right?
That you actually, they, what's.
Why is that, Jimmy?
They say because that you're anti-Muslim or you're Islamophobic and that you wanted, you know, you wanted Obama to call to use the words radical Islam, all that.
They're saying they're painting you that way.
Now, I only know you because of your stance against war, right?
So then all the, so I, then I see a videotape of you saying that you're a hawk when it comes to terrorism.
And, you know, I think we all are against terror.
So that's what I thought.
I thought we were all against terrorism.
We're just not, the way we've been conducting our fight on terrorism is wrong, right?
The regime change wars that our country has been waging have increased the strength and numbers of these terrorist groups.
Well, because the way that leaders have been, let me put it this way.
The actions and policies that this country has had has made the problem worse, not better.
One example, in Syria, this war against al-Qaeda continues.
The threat al-Qaeda poses continues.
The fact is in Syria, Al-Qaeda Is stronger today now than they ever have been before.
By and large, our military has not been seriously going after al-Qaeda in Syria, which has brought us to this point.
Secondly, our policies of actually providing both directly and indirectly, providing support to terrorist groups who are al-Qaeda or linked to al-Qaeda have contributed to making them stronger.
Policies like the continued alliance with Saudi Arabia in Yemen, there are so many issues there, but Saudi Arabia has been reported publicly to be providing the arms that they're getting from us directly to al-Qaeda in Yemen to further their objectives there.
The U.S. obviously needs to end its support for Saudi Arabia and this genocidal war in Yemen.
I introduced legislation called the Stop Arming Terrorists Act, which would stop a single taxpayer dollar from being used to provide that direct and indirect support to terrorist groups like al-Qaeda and others, whether it be directly to them or through other countries like Saudi Arabia.
But if we look at why would that happen?
Why would our country's leaders do something like that?
They did it in order to further the regime change war to overthrow the government in Syria.
So we have to be real and serious about combating and defeating this threat of terrorism coming from terrorist groups like Al-Qaeda and ISIS.
And we need to stop the policies and the actions that this country has taken that have made our country less safe and have actually resulted in strengthening these terrorist groups.
People don't know that we actually invented al-Qaeda and were responsible for the creation of ISIS with our Iraq invasion, which was illegal.
And people don't know also that we were literally funding those same groups, the people who are terrorists, because we wanted them to overthrow Assad in Syria.
And that's when you introduced that bill, Stop Funding Terrorists Now Act.
That's right.
And how'd that go?
Did I pass?
No.
Yeah, very few people have co-sponsored it.
Why is that?
Why wouldn't the loan, the lone introducer and co-sponsor in the Senate?
Can you guess who that is?
Mike Lee.
Rand Paul.
Oh, okay.
Rand Paul.
It's a good question.
It's a good question.
So people don't know that we're funding them.
People don't know.
In fact, well, I'll show you.
You went on a news show and you had to tell you that.
The irony that MSNBC now is supposed to be the purpose of our soldiers going to, well, here it is.
You were on with Casey Hunt on MSNBC.
And I just want to show this because usually I get upset.
I want the news people to hold the politicians' feet to the fire.
But news media has gotten so bad that now the politicians have to hold the news media people to the fire and they have to actually inform them on what's happening in the news.
And this is one of those cases.
Let's watch.
We're hilarious about the pursuit of peace.
Do you think Assad is our enemy?
Assad is not the enemy of the United States because Syria does not pose a direct threat to the United States.
What do you say to Democratic voters who watched you go over there?
And what do you say to military members who have been deployed repeatedly in Syria, pushing back against Assad?
People who have been deployed to Syria have been there focused on their mission, which has been to defeat ISIS.
Our troops have not gone to Syria to wage yet another costly, destructive regime change war.
So she didn't realize that when our military goes to Syria, they're not there fighting Assad.
She didn't realize that they're actually there under the guise of fighting terrorism.
I was really glad to have the chance to clarify that.
And she didn't, it seemed to boom, boom.
It didn't seem to sink in with her at all.
And I'm sure she still doesn't even real, she doesn't acknowledge that fact, I bet.
I think this points to a bigger problem, especially in Washington, where people either don't know or don't care to actually dig into these issues to understand the role that the United States has,
what our troops are doing, what their objective is, where they should be, where they should not be, and how those actions serve or don't serve the interests of our country and our security and how those actions are undermining the interests of the people in these other countries.
I mean, that just is jaw-droppingly stunning to me to watch a news person who knows she's going to be on a news show interviewing a presidential candidate who's a veteran whose signature issue is keeping us out of regime change wars, especially in Syria.
And she doesn't know the first thing about what we're doing in Syria.
And she's trying to lecture you about what...
Is this the craziest, the craziest thing?
And the thing is, and I didn't get a chance to say it on that show, but I hear from both friends of mine who are still in the service or who are veterans, people from across the political spectrum of ideologies, people who I've never met who send me messages and notes and emails expressing a great appreciation for this movement and this campaign to end these wasteful regime change wars because they're the ones who are dealing with the brunt of paying the price.
Their families are the ones who are sacrificing so much.
And you have people who are continuing to go to countries like Afghanistan.
My unit that I deployed with on my second deployment, this Sunday, I'm going back to see them off because there's over 300 of them who are going and deploying again, this time to Afghanistan.
And a lot of times the question I get asked is, what are we doing?
Why are we going there?
And their families are asking these questions.
And our troops are still being killed in these places.
So this thing, you know, this is what makes me angry because these people are playing politics with our lives and playing politics with the lives of the people in these countries.
This is real, man.
This is not a game.
This isn't just a talking point.
It is to everybody in the news media.
I just want to go over some of the questions that you were asked.
Is Assad a good person?
That was an actual question that you were asked on a news show.
There have been reports, the Russian apparatus that interfered in 2016 is potentially trying to help your campaign.
Why do you think that is?
Have you met with any Russians over the past?
Like, this is like a comedy sketch.
If Saturday Night Live was on during the McCarthy smears, that's like a sketch.
And of course, you know, I just showed you the debunking of that new knowledge report.
And it's just funny that Casey Hunt then says that, oh, it was RT.
She tries to say that only RT debunked that.
No, we debunked it here.
It's been debunked everywhere.
That's not, that's ridiculous.
I think Glenn Greenwald and the intercept.
Deanna Glenn Greenwald.
There's a very lengthy piece debunking that.
We did it at the Aggressive Progressives at the Young Turks.
We debunked that also.
But of course, she points to RT because it furthers their narrative.
And she's not the most honest of journalists.
Well, she works for MSNBC.
They fire you if you tell the truth about the war.
They fired Phil Donahue for telling the truth about the war.
They fired Ed Schultz just for covering Bernie Sanders.
That's MSNBC.
That's your resistance.
Keep that in mind when you're watching MSNBC.
They're a bunch of warmongers.
Rachel Meadow and Chris Hayes are beards of a nefarious corporation that's lying to you.
That's why they hired them.
Okay, go watch, go watch broadcast news and you'll understand how the news works in America.
So I wanted to get to, you have some great stuff.
I don't want to talk.
So this guy, it was funny, Josh also.
I just wanted to show this real quick.
Josh Rogan says Tulsi Garbert shares the same foreign policy position as Russia and the Assad regime.
It's probably just a coincidence.
Okay, so what's funny is somebody gets him on it and says, hey, Josh, what do you, he goes, I was against the Iraq war.
Hey, breaking.
CNN reporter admits to being a Saddam Hussein apologist who disagree with our intelligence community and sided with our enemies in Iraq, a dictator who slaughtered his own people with chemical weapons.
See how that game is played, Josh?
You see how you can play that?
I don't know how you could ever, like, that is the like right, then they're doing it right out in public.
Like this is okay to do now.
Like, this is the kind of stuff Roy Cohen would do, right?
That's a reporter.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
That's a good tweet you put out.
No, thank you very much.
I just want to say this reveals Josh Rosen, the Rogan, the B bought and paid for lying propagandist with zero integrity that he is.
If he had any dignity at all, he would apologize to a veteran he is smearing who served two tours in Iraq, and then he should learn coding because journalism is not his thing.
You're so helpful.
You're welcome.
I was talking about the coding thing.
Oh, that is.
I know.
Offering a new career path.
It's, you know, it's the sharing economy.
Perhaps Trump would back off his urge to cut and run in Syria if he knew the U.S. and its partners control almost all of the oil.
And if the U.S. leaves, that the oil.
So Josh Rogan is pushing regime change wars for oil in public.
Isn't that wild?
Yeah.
And then he's smearing a veteran who's got a peace message.
Maybe we should stop killing people.
That's it.
Oh, here.
Here, I want to get to this.
This was great.
I retweeted this.
Instead of wasting billions of dollars on regime change.
Oh, before we get to this, I have to ask you one question.
Yes.
So torture came up, right?
So now I'm a big deal of torture.
And we made a lot of fun of Sam Harris on this show because he does the mental gymnastics to make it okay to torture people.
So the torture report came out and you were on a TV show and you were asked about it, but it was before you had a chance to read it.
So now I want to ask you, what is your stance on torture?
I oppose torture.
In every situation.
And yes, in the Armed Services Committee, I think for two years now, we passed provisions within the defense bill that codified the prohibition of the use of torture that President Obama had put in place to make it so that it wasn't just an executive action, but something that was codified into law.
Okay, and you're 100% on board with that.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm glad we got that cleared up.
Yeah, me too.
Because, you know, I made a big deal out of torture at this show, so I can't.
All right.
I made a big deal out of it.
You know, and torture doesn't work because I know firsthand.
I mean, I lived in a studio apartment with a girl for three years and I never once told her the truth.
So it does not.
It does not work.
True.
Torture does not work.
Okay.
I hope she's not watching.
It was a long time ago.
Okay.
It's a long time ago.
She's married now.
You say instead of wasting billions of dollars on regime change wars, we can invest some of that peace dividend to end homelessness across America.
Hawaii has one of the highest rates of homelessness per capita.
That is why we, what is the FSC Financial Services Committee?
Dems have passed 1856, the Ending Homelessness Act out of committee.
I've been talking, this is, I can't tell you, I almost cried when I saw you tweet that because nobody's talking about homeless people because they don't have a constituency.
They're not a voting constituency.
And so you're just doing that because you're an actual human being who cares.
It is our brothers and sisters and neighbors and friends all across this country who are either homeless or who are right on the brink.
There are a lot of contributors and reasons for this, but the foremost among them is high cost of living and lack of truly affordable places for people to live.
This is something that is a crisis in Hawaii.
Our governor declared it a crisis so that we can try to bring the resources needed to address it.
But even so, when you look at the projections of truly affordable units that are being built right now, there is not nearly enough to address the numbers of people who need them desperately.
This is something that people wrongly think is only impacting our urban cities.
It is something that is impacting our rural communities as well.
We had a woman who came and testified in front of the Financial Services Committee who shared her story about she was someone who was living, you know, middle-class American life, thought that never in any circumstance would she be someone who would be homeless or would need to know where a shelter is nearby.
But she faced a serious medical situation that depleted her money, her reserves, and then was divorced.
And she literally became one of those people that she didn't really know or understand where she was trying to figure out where is the nearest shelter?
Where can I go?
She was there to bring voice to so many people in this country who have gone through that themselves and make sure that their voices are being heard in the halls of Congress so that we can address this urgent crisis that's facing us.
Okay, so if we're spending $200 billion, we're spending 40% more on our Pentagon budget than we were at the height of the Iraq war.
That's over $200 billion more.
We could send everyone to college for free and end homelessness and still have about $100 billion left over.
Just with the extra we're spending on the military since the height of the Iraq war, no one's explaining this to the people of what's actually happening, that what Eisenhower warned against has actually come to fruition, that our entire culture is being run by the military-industrial complex.
That's what is actually happening.
And people don't realize that.
People don't have health care in America.
People can't go to college in America.
We have homeless people in America because the military-industrial complex is sucking up all of our resources right now to kill people for profit.
Wow, that's George Clooney on the phone.
I haven't heard from him in a while.
How you doing, George?
Hey, Sport.
Have you done your homework?
Because I did my homework.
And I know where the clams are buried.
I know what's what.
And I know what's where.
I used to not know what's what or where, but I did my homework, which is why I'm asking, Broheem, have you done your homework yet?
What homework are you talking about, George?
Brunei, the salted baby, sold can, the big owner, the BK.
That's what I'm talking about.
Follow me.
Oh, you're talking about one of the richest men in the world?
Even richer than I, the cloon, the C-Man, the Klowmeister, Maestro George, the Big G. Oh, yeah, baby.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
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Today's show was written, that's right, it was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Semerano, and Mark Van Landowick.
Hey, special thanks to our guest, Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard.
And don't forget, we'll see you June 5th.
That's a Wednesday.
June 5th, we'll see you in Hermosa Beach, California.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all of our live shows.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
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