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March 14, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:12:48
20190314_TJDS_20190314_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy, it's Congressman Peter King of the great state of New York.
Hey, Peter King, how are you, buddy?
Doing great, Jimmy.
Flying high in the wake of my no vote.
One of the greatest powers a congressman has to vote no.
Even when you know it's going to pass anyway, no.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
No vote.
No vote who?
No.
Ah, yes.
I assume you're referring to the recent House resolution that recently passed condemning bigotry.
You bet you bippy I am.
Of course, I supported the original GOP version, but they watered it down and added all sorts of other horse shit, so I voted no.
Yeah, as Earth's ability to sustain life collapses before our very eyes, what a very sensible debate to be having in Congress.
Which racisms are worse than other racisms.
Thank you.
I appreciate you saying that, and I wholeheartedly agree.
What was your objection to this final bill?
Well, originally, the idea there was to condemn Congresswoman Hilhan Omar for her virulently anti-Semitic remarks.
You mean criticizing the APEC lobby and the Israel's brutal oppression of the Palestinians?
Precisely.
There's no place for hatred like that on the floor of Congress.
So we were going to condemn her personally and anti-Semitism only.
Maybe even throwing a clause that says hijabs are sort of fishy.
But then the Democrats take out the Hillhand part and add a quantum of anti-Muslim bias.
Can you believe that crap?
I can't believe that crap.
Well, what is your objection to condemning anti-Muslim hate speech?
Are you kidding me?
Because that wasn't what the hell we were talking about.
You were talking about anti-Semitic tropes and dog whistles and other such phrases.
Look, if you pro-Jew, you're anti-Muslim and vice versa.
Let's get real here.
Come on.
Might as well pass a bill that's pro-Yankees and pro-Red Sox and be struck down by the Supreme Court by last Thursday.
You know, I don't really think that's how racism works, Congressman King.
Don't tell me how racism works, young man.
I've been racist since you were getting a second base to El DeBarge in Stacey O'Bannon's bedroom.
El DeBarge.
Okay.
Okay.
Look, if we pass a House resolution condemning anti-Muslim speech, my ass is grass.
I've been cracking on the Muslims since before 9-11.
It's my political bread and butter.
Hell, I'm still mad about the Barbary Pirates.
Yeah, that would put you in quite of a bind, huh?
You better believe it, Wood.
That's why I voted no.
As did many other House Republicans, by the way, who, like me, refuse to be cowed by the anti-anti-Muslim caucus in Congress.
Who is that?
These anti-anti-Muslim extremists pose a threat to our way of life, Jimmy.
The American way.
And you know why?
Because they hate our freedoms.
Yeah.
Specifically, our freedom to say anti-Muslim crap.
And I, for one, will not sit idly by as anti-anti-Muslim terrorists, because that's what they are.
You got to say it.
Threaten and engage in hate speech against anti-Muslims.
Wow.
So I'm happy to announce that next week I will be introducing a brand new House resolution to this effect.
Two can play at this game, Jimmy.
Not only will criticizing AIPAC be considered hate speech, but criticizing Gitmo, the Iraq war, either one of them, that Toby Key song that came out after 9-11, Ben Shapiro's voice, saying Benghazi sarcastically.
That'll be illegal.
We're going to condemn all that shit, Jimmy.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay, then.
I'm sick of this shit, Jimmy.
Sick of this shit.
This anti-anti-Muslim bias shit.
Well, Congressman, thanks for giving us a heads up on this.
Hey, no problem, Jims.
Well, I gotta go.
Me and Liz Cheney gotta type this bad boy up.
But first, I gotta go blow off some steam.
You know what I mean?
I'm gonna go play bocce ball and say some racist shit with a bunch of men who look exactly like me but aren't related.
I'm gonna go play bocce ball and say some racist shit with a bunch of men who look exactly like me but aren't related.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for blackbase.
The kind of people that are saved.
It's hard to talk to you guys.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
We have a live show, March 31st at Ventura Harbor Comedy Club.
We'll see you in Ventura.
And we're going to be in Tempe, Arizona in May.
Also, Austin, Texas, Chicago, Portland.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all tickets.
Now let's get to the jokes before we get to the joke, shall we?
Hey, this week, Nancy Pelosi said impeaching Donald Trump was, quote, off the table, adding, we're authoritarians.
That's just the way it is.
You know, I don't know if you heard about the big bribery scandal, the rich Hollywood people getting their kids into better colleges.
You know, my parents never had to bribe anyone to get me into college.
My blowjobs always spoke for themselves.
Hey, according to Politico, Mueller is about to reveal his endgame.
I wonder if after Mueller reveals his endgame, whether the walls will fully close in, or maybe there's still some dominoes to fall as remaining dots are connected because they've reached a turning point where it's only a matter of time before the bottom drops out.
You know, I've given up on stopping world climate disaster.
I just want to watch Megan McCain cry every morning on television.
Hey, you ever notice how interspecies cuddling always turns ugly at dinner time?
Am I right?
Come on.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Tulsi Gabbard goes on CNN.
How did it turn out?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
A former MSNBC host and current Morning Joe panelist reveals he'd rather vote for Donald Trump than Bernie Sanders.
Just like we always said about those people.
Plus, the New York Times reveals that CNN has been lying about Venezuela.
It's nice to see that the New York Times is only three weeks behind the Jimmy Dore show.
We have special guests with us today, Judah Friedlander, world champion comedian Judah Friedlander.
Plus, we got phone calls today from New York Congressman Peter King, Master of the Senate Chuck Schumer, Jeb Bush, Sean Spicer, and Mitt Romney, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on The Jimmy Dore Show.
The Jimmy Dore Show Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Door Show.
We have special guests with us today.
It's Judah Friedlander.
Hey, Judah, how are you?
Incredible.
Thank you.
Now, everybody knows you from your latest special, America is the greatest country in the United States.
It's on Netflix right now.
Apparently, that's what I've heard.
That's where it's at.
No, that's where it is going.
I mean, I made it on my own, and they're showing it.
And you're going to be at the end of the month, you're going to be at the North Adams, Massachusetts at the High Mud Comedy Festival.
That's March 29th.
Good for you, huh?
Thanks.
It should be a cool thing.
I'm doing all new material.
It's none of the material that's on my standard.
Special?
Yeah, my new tour I'm calling the future president tour because, you know, I might have to be president someday.
Apparently, we all have a shot.
I think we do as Americans.
I think it's all right.
It is a candidate.
You know, American way.
Well, I'm glad that you're here today.
Thanks for being with us.
And I know you get recognized a lot from your appearances on the show and what have you.
I do.
It's always fun when I meet someone after the show and they have come because they saw me on your show.
So it's cool.
You get vegan cookies, what have you.
I haven't gotten that yet.
That would be great, though.
That didn't happen.
I thought you went into a vegan cookie store and they recognized you.
Maybe it did.
That's what you texted me.
You go, hey, I just walked out of a vegan cookie store.
You're right.
I remember now.
Yeah.
It was right.
It was a vegan, but it was a vegan place and they had cookies there.
Oh, okay.
Fantastic.
Anyway, so I just wanted to show you.
First of all, so this happened, and I'm going to brag a little.
So we passed the 500,000 subscribers mark.
We started the show in December of 2017.
No, no.
That would be nice.
Wow.
In December of 2015, we started doing this version of the Jimmy Doer show.
And so look at that.
Just in three years, we went from zero to 500,000 subscribers.
And you go, why does that happen, Jimmy?
How did that happen?
What are you doing?
Because that's what my comedy friends ask.
They go, what are you doing?
And I'm like, well, I'm just reporting the news that the news doesn't report.
And it's real easy.
And actually, it's not hard.
It's actually, I'm not, you know, as I've said it a million times on this show, you know, I am a C student, a dumb nightclub jagoff comedian, spent my life in my life at nightclubs for 20 years.
And I couldn't get over how bad the news was.
And here it is.
It was the Bernie Sanders campaign that really woke a lot of people up to how bad the news is.
And Tulsi Gabbard is proving it once again.
I mean, they do it all the time.
They're always pro-war.
They were wrong about Iraq.
They're wrong about Libya.
They're wrong about Syria.
And now they're all pro-wrong about Venezuela.
Isn't it amazing?
So she went on CNN.
She had a CNN town hall.
And this was last Sunday.
And Dana Bash is going to try to bash her, right?
So now, the important thing is we don't have state media in the United States, right?
Like when I grew up, everybody thought Russia has state media.
North Korea has state media.
China has that.
You can't get the truth, right?
Because it's a totalitarian government.
And blah, blah, blah.
We don't have that in America.
Well, I'm going to show you that it doesn't matter, as Chomsky said, that any dictator would be thrilled with the obsequiousness of the American press to power, right?
I'm paraphrasing it, but that's basically what he said.
So, and here we're going to show proof.
Here it is.
Here's Tulsi Gabbard.
Congresswoman, you mentioned Syria.
We actually have a question on that.
I want to bring in Jessica James, a consultant from New Jersey.
Thank you.
Do you remember?
Now, by the way, when Bernie Sanders did his town hall, the CNN filled the town hall with plants, like political operatives from the Hillary Clinton campaign or from somebody else's campaign that were there to ask questions that were trying to sandbag him.
And then it got revealed that these people were all political operatives afterwards in the CNN town hall.
And it's just like it doesn't matter how much CNN, all the fuckery that CNN does.
You know, last time they cheated for Hillary Clinton against Bernie Sanders, they gave questions to her in advance and stuff like that.
Nope.
Nobody got fired at CNN as far as I know.
Nobody had to come out and apologize.
And nobody apologized when they did it to Bernie, and they're doing it again.
So again, you want to know how I get to 500,000 subscribers?
I just don't suck as bad as them.
All I have to do is not suck.
All I have to do is not lie to you.
All I have to do is not smear a progressive.
And then I also have to tell you the truth about Venezuela, Syria, Libya, and Iraq.
That's all I have to do, too.
Skeptical as you were in 2017 that Bashar al-Assad used chemical warfare against Syrian civilians.
Now, this woman actually is an activist.
She's actually worked for some organizations that have to do with promoting women, right?
Weren't you telling me this stuff?
Did you look her up?
And it's interesting that she doesn't ask a question that's in her expertise in her wheelhouse, right?
She works on women's issues and what have you.
And this is a weird question for her to ask.
It's almost like it's staged.
Here we go.
I want to correct that because there's been some misunderstanding.
There have been reports showing that chemical weapons have been used in Syria, both by the Syrian government as well as different terrorist groups on the ground in Syria.
The skepticism and the questions that I raised were very specific around incidents that the Trump administration was trying to use as an excuse to launch a U.S. military attack in Syria.
Now, I served in a war in Iraq, a war that was launched based on lies, and a war that was launched without evidence.
So now, when you hear the people applaud, that's the sentiment in America.
That's what normal people feel about these foreign wars.
That's why a lot of people say they voted for Trump because he promised to end the foreign wars.
Of course, he's not.
Of course, he just didn't want the wars that Barack Obama did.
He wants his own wars.
So Barack Obama did Syria and Libya and George Bush and Iraq and Afghanistan.
Trump doesn't want any of those.
He wants his own.
He wants Iran and Venezuela.
So, all right, so here we go.
But that's how that's how the people feel in the country, right?
Judah, do you find that when you travel around, people feel like that?
Like, we're sick and tired of these wars.
And even as much as the politicians want them and the press pushes it, they still don't want them.
You know, I wish I could agree with you, but I'm also not disagreeing with you.
When I watched that clip just now, I hadn't seen this clip before.
You notice how they applauded?
They applauded, but they were a little hesitant.
It's almost like they were afraid to say, oh, yeah, I don't want wars.
Yes, exactly.
You know what I mean?
It's like they don't want them, but they're almost afraid to express their opinion that they don't want them.
Right, because there's a news person pushing, and everybody else in the world is pushing them.
It's like If you're saying you're not for these wars, you're saying you're anti-America or something like that.
So it's like, it's really bizarre.
Because, you know, I do, I think one thing that's like missing in this country is a strong anti-war movement.
It doesn't seem like there is one, even though I think many people don't want it.
You know, so it's well, they suppress, they've been, they've been able to suppress it, right?
So there is code pink and there is, and I think most people.
Code pink should be so popular.
You're right.
And it's not as good.
Well, they only get brought like I had Medea Benjamin on this show to highlight her work, and we highlight her work a lot.
But when they bring her on CNN or MSNBC, it's to shit on her.
Right, right.
Right.
So they don't highlight her.
Right, no, right.
Yeah.
So the media is and both parties, main parties, seem to always really, you know, it's like new president, new season.
Yeah.
New teams.
Who are they fighting against?
It seems crazy.
So let's hear her answer.
Let's hear the rest of this.
American people were duped.
So as a soldier, as an American, as a member of Congress, it is my duty and my responsibility to exercise skepticism anytime anyone tries to send our service members into harm's way or use our military to go in and start a new war.
May I just ask a follow about that?
Because Congress.
So the audience can applaud.
They're applauding now.
After she's done answering, they start applauding.
And Dana Bash steps on the applause to immediately come in and watch what she can't wait to ask.
Watch this.
The Defense Department, the United Nations agree that the Assad regime used chemical weapons against its own people.
So as president, would you trust the conclusions of your government?
Well, like I said.
So Dana Bash is exactly going, she doesn't say, hey, I know that our intelligence communities lie all the time.
And of course, they lied us into the Iraq war famously.
And then they went and committed torture to cover it up.
But don't you still trust them?
Like, that's the question.
That's how you should ask that question.
But that's not how Dana Bash asked it, is it?
Isn't that kind of how you would expect a reporter who works for the government to?
That's what somebody from the State Department or somebody from the Trump or the CIA.
That's something that they would say.
That's not what a reporter would say.
So what we have here is the exact opposite of what's supposed to be happening in journalism.
What's happening right now is that politician has to hold the reporters, the journalists' feet to the fire on the truth about Syria and the Iraq war and believing our government.
You know, our government is Donald Trump right now.
Does Dana Bash say that?
You don't believe our government?
You mean you don't believe Trump, who you call a liar every single second of the day?
Do you see how crazy this is?
Is that not nuts what Dana Bash is doing?
Is that not nuts what she's doing, Judith?
Well, I thought what was funny there, I just thought of this.
She said that our government and the UN has decided that the leader of Syria was using chemical weapons against his own people.
Right.
So maybe she's upset that the country's going to war on itself and then we can't go to war with them because they're doing our work for them.
Right.
You know, and then how are we going to make money?
How are we going to support our own industrial complex if the other countries are already doing it?
That's such a good point.
They're already killing their own people.
Now we can't kill them.
Then we're out of a job.
So what are we going to do?
So what no one ever says, exactly.
That's such a, you know, he's making it comedically, but this is a great point.
So when Dana Bash is encouraging, you don't want to go bomb Syria because, so what does that mean?
So he gassed his own people, which, by the way, very shady evidence for that.
And it goes against logic that he did that.
So just like WMDs, him gassing his own people seems like a scam.
And even if he is or if he isn't, how is us bombing going to be better for the citizens in that country?
So that's my point.
How's that going to help?
My point is, Dana Bash wants the response to him killing his own people for us to go then kill some of his own people, too.
Because that's what bombing does.
We're not going to go in there and knock on Basal Arsad's door and take him away.
We're going to bomb some people who live in his country.
That's what they want us to do.
They want us to do to his people exactly what he's doing to his people, kill them.
And that's the point that Judah just made comedically.
And then I thought I'd make it in a less funny way.
We have in our recent past a situation where our own government told lies to the American people and to the United Nations for that matter to launch a war.
So what I'm saying is it is our responsibility to exercise due diligence.
So do you see what just happened there?
What just happened there was the politician had to school the journalists on what the actual situation is.
She had to remind the journalist.
The journalist is supposed to be saying, now we know the government lies all the time about.
That's not what she's saying.
She sounds like she works for the government, Dana Bash.
That's what's remarkable.
Like, we don't need a dictator with his own news media here.
They do it for him for money.
And that, to me, that is the craziest backwards thing is to watch a politician have to hold the journalist's feet to the fire to tell the truth about our government.
That's what just happened.
Okay.
To ask the tough questions, to get the evidence before we make those very costly decisions about how and when and where our military is used.
While we're on the topic of Syria.
People applaud again and again.
She talks over the applause and watch.
And she can't, she won't stop.
She won't go, wow, that's a great point.
Of course, I should remind our audience, we should always be skeptical of the intelligence community in our country because they've been known liars and torturers ever since they were invented.
They've been toppling democratically elected governments, torturing people and murdering them to cover it up.
They do more of that before breakfast than most people do all day, the CIA.
So again, the roles here are reversed.
Dana Bash sounds like she's from the government and Tulsi Gabbard sounds like she is the journalist.
And now you now you know why we have 500,000 subscribers for a Jagoff nightclub comedian is talking about the news.
Now you know why.
Because they suck so unbelievably bad.
And you're going to watch, she's going to suck again.
Watch this.
This week, Syrian refugees in Jordan, they requested that the first international criminal court case against the Syrian government commence.
You met Bashar al-Azad Assad in 2017.
Do you believe that Assad is a war criminal?
I think that What is the point?
You still don't want to bomb him?
You still don't want to kill some people in another country because you know how well it works out all the time?
That's what she keeps saying.
So let me find another way to get you to, you still don't want, but he's a war criminal.
You know who else is a war criminal, Dana?
George Bush.
You know who else is a war criminal?
Dick Cheney.
You know who else?
Condoleezza Rice, Don Rumsfeld.
There's lots of war criminals right here in the good old US of A. Do you know that our drone program is the biggest terrorist program in the world?
Kills mostly innocent civilians.
Do you know that Barack Obama would be considered a war criminal?
Do you know that every president since World War II of the United States, every president would be considered a war criminal?
Did you know that?
Of course she doesn't know that.
That's why she has the job.
But you know who does know that?
Me in my fucking garage.
The evidence needs to be gathered.
And as I have said before, there is evidence that he has committed war crimes.
He should be prosecuted as such.
But you're not sure now.
Everything that I have said requires that we take action based on evidence.
The evidence is there.
There should be accountability.
Okay, there you go.
That's literally that's that she sounds like a politician.
Can't we go to war?
Can't we bomb someone?
Can't we just keep doing the wrong thing over and over and over?
Why?
Because she is bought and funded by the people she's supposed to be investigating and exposing.
Dana Bass works for CNN, which is bought and funded by the military industrial complex and fossil fuel companies.
And there you go.
And that's the result, Steph.
Every time I read a headline about Tulsi Gabbard, it turns out it's all about the idea that Tulsi has this position on Assad.
Oh my God.
And Tulsi met with a world leader named Assad.
And it's like, I don't understand why they're the celebration of peace.
Here we have a candidate who is principled, who served in the military, who understands the cost of the military, and she's pro-peace.
And all they keep telling to Dana in her ear is ask about Syria.
She's asking Syria.
Somehow she's some kind of a traitor.
Somehow Tulsi's some kind of a traitor or a bad person to America.
She's a fucking veteran.
And look how they people were angry at Trump when he disrespected that Gold Star family, but apparently it's okay to disrespect a veteran if they're alive.
I was going to say, Tulsi should have asked her if she's ever served.
Yeah.
Have you ever served?
Have you ever?
No, you're right.
That would have been.
She doesn't do that.
She's much too nice.
She's probably smarter than that.
I wouldn't do that.
Like I would go right at them.
Of course, that's probably not the smart thing.
Tulsi's probably doing the smarter thing.
I sit there going, Tulsi, why don't you stick the knife in them and turn it?
You've got them.
You've got the truth on your side.
But she stays measured because she's showing that she's a leader and she's not going to flip out under fire.
Right.
Like a lot of people.
And you know what?
I appreciate how poised she is and I appreciate how sensible she is.
And I can't believe the nut jobs that are interviewing her on late night television.
That happens every time.
Stephen Colbert did this.
Stephen Colbert was worse than that.
It's an embarrassment.
Stephen Colbert.
It is so hard.
There's no bigger hero that I had in comedy than Stephen Colbert.
He may have done the best comedy show in the history of comedy.
His Colbert report was, no doubt, one of the top comedy shows of all time.
And I don't know exactly what happened to Stephen Colbert when he went to CBS.
But if it was up to me, I'd have him turn in his comedy card if we had those.
It's like, you got to give me your badge.
You got to give me your badge.
If we were unionized.
If we were unionized, I'm sorry.
You got to give me your union card because you're pushing establishment talking points.
You're supposed to be making fun of them.
You're not supposed to push the establishment, you dummy.
But now he is the establishment.
He's, you know, and I, again, anyway, and here's what's happening to reporters.
You want to see what's happening to reporters?
I guess these people like Dana Bash and they haven't read Manufacturing Consent or they haven't ever listened to Noam Chomsky or else they would know what's happening in the news media and why we're a popular news show.
That's just that should be a joke in itself.
And here we are doing a better job.
Here we are doing a better job than CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, and The Washington Post when it comes to covering the war, covering Venezuela, talking honestly about Medicare for all and progressive politics.
They can't do it, honestly.
And here's why.
Here's Chomsky's going to tell you.
I'm sure you're speaking for the majority of journalists who are trained, have it driven into their heads that this is a crusading profession, adversarial hand up against power.
Very self-serving view.
How can you know that I'm self-censoring?
How can you know?
I'm sure you believe everything you're saying.
But what I'm saying is if you believe something different, you wouldn't be sitting where you're sitting.
Bam.
I'm sure you believe everything you're saying.
My point is, if you believe something different, you wouldn't be sitting where you're sitting.
If Dana Bash was actually skeptical of the intelligence community and skeptical of our government, she wouldn't have that job.
Now you understand how it works.
There's a movie called Broadcast News, and William Hurt is one of the leads in the movie, and he becomes the star anchor.
And the reason why he becomes the star anchor is because he doesn't ask questions like you should ask.
He doesn't ever question the government, the intelligence community, the establishment narrative.
He goes right along with it, just like Dana Bass, just like everybody at MSNBC and CNN and the Washington Post and the New York Times.
That's why they have the jobs because they don't think differently than the establishment.
And they're willing to be the mouthpieces of the oligarchs.
That's it.
And he doesn't even realize that.
This is the same.
I think this is the same guy who said to Chomsky, every president would be considered a war criminal.
And then Chomsky proceeded to go down every president and list their war crimes.
And the guy looked like a knucklehead.
But anyway, in response to the Chomsky.
You know, I think, I mean, Chomsky's always so on point and well stated.
But I think one of the things why so many people don't see the bigger picture sometimes is our schools.
I mean, I remember one of the reasons I always hated school was that it seems like its main goal was to make you conform.
Yeah.
You know, it wasn't to make you think.
Like, I remember even in like an English class, you'd have to read a book and then you wouldn't just discuss the book.
Then you would read some literary criticism and then you'd have to write a paper and it would have to say, all right, well, what do these literary critics say about the book?
And then you write a report.
They never wanted to know what you thought.
Right.
You know, and even like when you learn history, you're just learning these, you know, with the facts that they're giving you and dates, but they don't want your personally analyzing something and coming up with your own point of view.
It's like they just want to give you stuff and don't think.
Well, and then and those people who conform the best in school get get jobs and journalism.
And then they basically.
This conformity is just massive.
Most people don't even see it.
When people say that, hey, I went to Columbia School of Journalism, like, ooh, that's too bad.
That's really too bad because you probably picked up a lot of bad habits and groupthink and you weren't taught to go against the establishment narrative.
And you're probably going to repeat a lot of bullshit right now.
Yeah, because, you know, and then there's the thing that, you know, the parents will say, or the schools will say, oh, this one student, they're not fitting in.
It's like, well, maybe they, that's good.
Maybe they shouldn't be fitting.
That's right.
You know, maybe not everyone should be thinking the exact same thing.
Well, those people get jobs hosting their own YouTube show.
There you go.
You know, as we were talking, you know, I also was thinking about the idea of critical thinking.
And what a perfect way to make sure Americans aren't thinking critically.
Make sure that the classroom is larger than 20 kids.
Yeah.
Make sure that you have to conform.
Look at the way a classroom is even designed.
What has changed?
Rose, you have rows with students.
They're supposed to be seated in rows and they're supposed to be seated and conform.
And I get you.
But when I was in the classroom, I wanted them seated so I can teach them how to be critical thinkers.
And as the classes got larger and larger, that became an impossibility because all you're doing is trying to keep track of it.
And those kind of papers analyzing work because somebody else analyzed it.
How useless is that?
What's your point of view?
What were you bringing to the table?
What did you find interesting about the literature?
Not what somebody thought 20 years earlier, whomever with credentials.
Well, I just want to say thank you to Dana Bash and CNN for continuing to suck, to be pro-war and to sandbag progressive politicians because you leave a big lane open for me because it doesn't seem like there's a lot of other YouTubers even that want to do this.
So God bless you all.
Thank you for the gift.
Oh, look who's on the phone.
It's Master of the Senate, Chuck Schumer.
Hey, Chuck.
I am so angry right now.
You don't want to know how angry I am.
Boy, am I angry?
I'm miffed to the zone.
That's how angry I am.
What's wrong, Chuck?
My Keurig machine is acting up again.
Those little diva cups don't go in right, and the coffee is always weak.
Oh, maybe you're using the wrong type of filtration cup.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
We have our own way of making coffee.
And then you come in here and you say it has to be my way of the highway.
Well, guess what?
I don't respond to that.
I thought you might be upset over President Trump's threat to shut down the government again unless he gets the 8.5 billion for his wall.
Jimmy, first and foremost, it's our wall, okay?
It's not just his.
This is America, not one of the Bolshevik hell holes you like to frequent in search of your disgusting hemp parties.
Well, what would you do if he shuts down the government again, Chuck?
What we always do: give him a billion or two more from Social Security and call it a victory.
Boring next.
You know, I heard the DNC just chose Milwaukee to host the Democratic National Convention in 2020.
I know.
Very exciting.
Ever been there?
And get this.
Apparently, this Mill Wolkey place has a lot of working class people there.
Well, that's news to me, Busta Brown.
You know, I'm sure the people of Milwaukee are going to be really happy to see you.
My only worry is the town might not have the capacity to accommodate our incessant bullshit.
Anywho, I can't wait to get Dad meet real people and bite into one of their world-famous Philly cheesesteaks.
Onward, upward, and forward.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to JimmyDoorCompany.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Wow, I just read that Jeb Bush's super PAC was caught illegally taking over $1.3 million from a Chinese company.
I'm going to call him up and ask about it.
Oh, no, it's the phone.
I know wherever it is doesn't ask me about my super PAC, illegally taking money from a Chinese company.
Yeah, hello?
Hey, Jeb, this is Jimmy Doerr.
Oh, hi, Jimmy.
Please don't ask me about my super PAC, illegally taking money from a Chinese company, okay?
Can we just agree on that at the outset?
I just don't want to talk about that right now, okay?
Okay, sure.
I understand.
What would you like to talk about, Jeb?
You want to buy my Miami townhouse for $2 million?
It's in Coral Gables.
Why are you selling it?
Because my Super PAC was caught illegally taking money from a Chinese company.
Did you see the news?
My house is for sale.
Please buy it.
And then please clap.
They're going to fine me.
How much is the fine?
It's really big.
It's the biggest fine the FEC's done in 10 years.
I mean, what the heck?
Well, how much?
Jimmy, you agree we wouldn't talk about this right now, okay?
Gee, can we just be true to our word, please?
$400,000.
Is that all?
Is that all?
You do know that my parents, mom and dad, put my dumb brothers in charge of all my dumb money, didn't you?
All I have is this dumb house in Florida.
This whole thing is dumb.
Who cares, right?
But you shouldn't be taking money from foreign nationals, Jeb.
It opens you up to foreign corporate influence.
Please buy my house.
No thanks, buddy.
It combines the amenities of urban living with the convenience of a single-family home.
And it's got high ceilings.
I like high ceilings because it really hides your farts.
I'm not going to buy your house, Jeb.
You'd like Coral Gables.
It's a planned community.
Well, what does that mean?
All white people.
I could never afford your house, Jeb.
I crunched the numbers there, Rockefeller.
You got 500,000 subscribers at $200 apiece.
That comes to $100 million a month.
That's not really how it works, Jeb.
500,000 people aren't paying me $200 a month.
I don't know who told you those figures.
The same people said I wouldn't get in trouble for taking the Chinese money.
Oh, talk on it.
I don't want to talk about it right now.
Okay.
It's got a Tanko's water heater, and the kitchen has that Carrara marble that was really big in 1998.
And it's not radioactive anymore.
I checked it myself.
I have my own Geiger counter.
Got it on the TV.
It's a metal detector slash Geiger counter.
I can't buy another house, Jeb.
Don't you have other buyers?
Sometimes when I'm real lonely, I take the Geiger counter slash metal detector on the beach, and when it goes off, people come up to me to talk.
Of course, I have to bring my own plutonium to make it go off because there aren't any coins left on my beach.
So I bring all the radioactive waste we have left from mom's funeral.
Why do you have radioactive waste left over from a funeral?
My mom used to glow in the dark when she slept.
It was her way of keeping her eye on us.
I hear one of the guards coming.
I have to go.
We'll know Our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.
That's the CIA director William Casey said that in 1981.
Now, that's actually, that's a, he actually did say that.
Like a lot of people say, oh, come on, he didn't say that.
That's fake news.
No, he actually said that.
And he was referring to our foreign policy with the Soviet Union at the time.
And so he was saying, well, we'll know our disinformation program about the Soviet Union is complete when everything the American public believes is false.
And we're back to that same thing.
That's how they fight a Cold War.
They misinform their own public.
Isn't that something?
And so now, after two and a half years of pushing Russia Gate, that our president is a Manchurian candidate who threw the election by colluding, illegally colluding in conspiracy with a foreign government, Russia.
Well, we always were asking for evidence.
We never got any evidence.
And now it seems like that's not happening.
And Rachel Maddow, after two years, what does she have to say about it?
And then nothing.
Two and a half years, then nothing.
So I just want to say, again, people ask, how did we reach 500,000 subscribers?
It's because I just don't repeat propaganda.
And people are hungry for news shows that don't push propaganda.
Unfortunately, all our corporate news shows do, including the Washington Post and the New York Times, when it comes to a lot of stuff, especially foreign policy, wars, and our regime change policies.
Here's Aaron Matei.
You know, he's a friend of the show.
He says, Mueller disappoints.
If Mueller disappoints, I'm hopeful there'll be a reckoning among progressives.
There will not.
There's not.
On the media side, I think we should reflect on this.
The top video outlet to consistently and unapologetically debunk Russia Gate is the Jimmy Dorse show, a comedian working with a very small team.
So that was a very nice compliment.
And I like to pat myself on the back and show it on my own show.
But I just want to show you that how easy it is to do a better job than CNN.
And it's not like I'm some kind of genius by far.
As you know, C-student, nightclub comedian.
All you have to do, as Greg Palace said on this show, is look down the street and report what you see.
And so here's CNN lying, right?
So now they're going to, we've already debunked, they've been lying ubiquitously about Venezuela, right?
So here, so here's some of it.
And what is on the plane are basic goods, things that aren't available or accessible in Venezuela.
Things like nutritional biscuits, toothpaste, toothbrushes, just basic commodities that aren't available or readily available to Venezuelans right now because of the regime that they're currently living under.
So now we know that's not true because independent reporter Max Blumenthal actually went to a supermarket in Venezuela and he proved that that wasn't true.
So here he is.
We showed it to you.
We already debunked that.
And by the way, what's in that USA aid?
What's that aid that's going to Venezuela?
They use that to ship arms inside the country so that they can then foment a civil war.
And that's Elliot Abrams.
That's his calling card.
That's what he's done.
And he's the guy in charge of our Venezuelan policy, him and John Bolton.
And so there he is, Max, going through.
People here like me.
Okay, we got like congealed meat.
We got like so much meat.
There's a lot of meat here.
So there he is.
So anyway, so we debunked that.
Also, here's the Washington Post lying about the concert for support that they were doing in Colombia, right, for the aid.
And they lied.
The Washington Post said it was 200,000 people there.
David Branson, put it.
There wasn't.
There wasn't.
There was like maybe 15,000 people there.
They said there was 200,000.
Then they deleted it and didn't tell anybody they deleted it.
That's through Washington Post.
Now here's CNN lying about the aid that they were sending to Venezuela.
Well, the opposition, not the Maduro regime, but the opposition, the Juan Guaido people, they set the aid on fire.
CNN reported exactly backwards.
Now, it's the part that's in yellow.
I'll read it to you.
It says, while a CNN team saw incendiary devices from police on the Venezuelan side of the border ignite the trucks, I'll read it to you again.
While a CNN team saw incendiary devices from police on the Venezuelan side of the border ignite the trucks, that's a lie.
Their team did not see that.
They're lying.
Just like they lied in that video that I showed you about what the aid was and if you could get that stuff available in Venezuela, they lied twice.
And now they're lying a third time about Venezuela.
They're lying, saying that it was the police, meaning the people from the Maduro government that set the aid on fire.
The exact opposite happened.
And how do I know?
Because a reporter was there who's independent.
His name is Max Blumenthal.
And if you look at this, not sure if the Venezuelan opposition activists disguised as Red Cross workers actually mean well.
And that's from February 23rd.
And then we covered it the next day.
And here's, here, I'll just show you a little bit of it.
Bridge aid that we're supposed to be sending to Venezuela, but it's really not aid.
This is burning aid and interventionist deception on Colombia-Venezuelan bridge.
Senator Marco Rubio and coup leaders claim that Venezuelan National Guard burned U.S. aid trucks on the bridge in Colombia, but all available evidence points to the opposition in the opposite direction.
The Trump administration's coup against Venezuela culminated on February 23rd with U.S.-backed opposition attempting to ram several trucks loaded with boxes of USAAID humanitarian aid across the previously unused Francisco de Paulo Santander bridge connecting Colombia to Venezuela.
The trucks failed to reach the other side, but that was never really the point of the stunt, as Father Sergio Munez, a right-wing Venezuelan activist, posted on the Colombian side of the border.
He explained to the journalist Dan Cohen that the humanitarian aid was a purely symbolic provocation aimed at discrediting Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro in international eyes and generating waves of destabilizing violence.
On the Santander Bridge this February 23rd, the masked right-wing opposition youth known as Guarimberos, am I pronouncing Guambero?
How do you say that?
Got it.
Guarin Guarimberos rained down a hail of rocks and Molotov cocktails on Venezuelan National Guardsmen holding the line against the USAAID trucks.
Suddenly, the trucks caught fire and the mass youth began unloading boxes of aid before they burned within minutes.
Pro-opposition media reported that the Venezuelan National Guard forces were responsible for the fire.
So do you see how propaganda works?
Do you see how the news media are propagandists?
Do you see the total lack of evidence of Venezuelan culpability did not stop Cuban American Senator Marco Rubio from tweeting this accusation from nearby in Cucuta?
We were on it.
We had the story correct.
We had it from a trusted independent reporter inside Venezuela.
We knew that.
How is it that me, how is it that I, a guy who smokes pot when he gets up in the morning and spent 20 years in nightclubs entertaining drunks, how is it that I can do a better job of reporting the news about Venezuela than CNN's team.
Why is that?
Because I'm not bought and paid for by the people I'm supposed to be investigating and exposing.
That's why.
And guess what?
The New York Times, they also stumbled onto this story correctly three weeks later.
The New York Times expose on the lies about burning aid trucks in Venezuela.
So it took them three weeks to find out what we reported three weeks ago.
At last night's New York Times expose proved, which just used evidence cited weeks ago by independent journalists.
CNN outright lied to the world when it said a CNN team saw incendiary devices from police on the Venezuelan side of the border ignite the trucks.
This is an amazing example of CNN outright lying, not just printing something inaccurate, but lying for the U.S. government by claiming that they personally saw something that even the New York Times now says never happened, that Maduro's forces burned humanitarian trucks.
And there it is.
I showed it to you before.
U.S. officials like Mike Pompey, Marco Rubio, John Bolton, Mike Pompeo, USAAID Mark Green, along with think tank experts like Danny Bahar, use Twitter to spread classic fake news to start a war.
Does anyone want them banned from Twitter or their posts deleted?
It's so gross and typical how the New York Times publishes its story proving the U.S. government and media lied about the burning trucks in Venezuela without crediting all the independent journalists who used the same evidence to prove this weeks ago.
But it's beneficial that the New York Times published this.
While CNN lied to the world, claiming they saw something in Venezuela that never happened because they're trying to help the U.S. government start a regime change war in Venezuela.
RT presented the evidence showing it was a lie, copied last night by the New York Times.
Who acted as state TV?
And the last one, he says, and oh, needless to say, the independent journalist who used video footage, photos, and other documentary analysis to prove right away that the U.S. government's claim were a lie, something it took the New York Times three weeks to do, we were smeared as Maduro apologists and Putin stooges, obviously.
And here's the onion.
After further review, those responsible for lighting Molotov cocktails and destroying several trucks carrying medical supplies are clearly our reporters.
So let me throw it over to our panel.
Judah, now you just got this great special.
America is the greatest country in the United States.
What do you have to say about that?
Well, you know, in my act, I have one line where I say, you know, we live in a country that doesn't believe in climate change, but does believe in regime change.
Change is not always good.
Let's just put it that way.
I mean, everyone likes a change, but, you know, not always a good thing.
Yeah, you know, just from, I mean, I'm not obviously an expert on this stuff, but, you know, just from traveling around and the way the media just seems to always, no matter what the subject is, they always sort of paint it as, well, if one side's bad guys, then this side's the good guys.
And often, I think, I think governments, many governments throughout the world are designed to oppress people and rip people off.
And often it's, you know, one bad government.
And then sometimes in some countries, the other party is just a different bad also.
You know what I mean?
And the fact that...
We have two bad parties.
They're owned by the same people.
And, you know, I worked in Romania last year.
Really?
And they're one of the poorest countries in Europe.
And they don't, I remember talking to somebody there, and they were saying how they don't even have a highway.
You know, it's pretty much local roads everywhere.
And the people are so disillusioned by, they've almost no hope in government because they've been screwed from so many different sides in so many different ways.
So I think, you know, I think sometimes just people are naive thinking like, oh, well, if one side's bad, then the other one's they got to be the good guys, right?
It's like, this isn't 1980s pro wrestling.
You know, it's a little more complicated than that.
And then the fact that, you know, the guy that the Venezuelan guy that our government's supporting, the fact that Bolsonaro is supporting him, doesn't that make you just a little bit?
No, it doesn't.
It shouldn't be of something, you know?
Isn't that so that that makes me angry at people that like, of course you know better.
Of course, Anderson Cooper, you know better and Jake Tapper and Chris Hayes and Rachel Man.
Of course you know better.
This is John Bolin, Elliot Abraham.
And of course you know better and yet you still go along with it.
Isn't that so that just tells me that, well, but I think it's worse than that.
Here's what Chomsky would say.
I'm sure you're speaking for the majority of journalists who are trained, have it driven into their heads that this is a crusading profession, adversarial, we stand up against power.
Very self-serving view.
How can you know that I'm self-censoring?
How can you know?
I'm sure you believe everything you're saying.
But what I'm saying is if you believe something different, you wouldn't be sitting for your city.
So that's why Max Blumenthal doesn't work for CNN because he doesn't think like CNN reporters, right?
You get hired at CNN because you don't push back against the establishment, because you don't ask those questions that would upset your advertisers or the military industrial complex or fossil fuel companies.
It's the exact opposite at CNN of what real journalism is.
You know, we showed you that videotape of Rand Paul saying maybe we shouldn't be selling these arms to Saudi Arabia since they're a brutal dictatorship committing genocide in Yemen.
And Wolf Blitzer said, you know, if we don't sell arms to them, it's going to cost a lot of jobs in America.
That's a quote from the newsman.
So again, at CNN, everything's backwards.
And it makes me feel good to report this story about CNN getting caught lying about and starting another war because they smeared this show.
CNN smeared the Jimmy Door show.
They took time out of their day.
They assigned reporters and gave them the order to smear this show.
And they did it because we were telling the truth about the Syrian war.
And CNN is lying about the Syrian war.
CNN had a reporter go into what she said was a gas attack and she picked up a backpack and sniffed it and said, yeah, there's something out.
You sniffed a deadly chemical?
So that's the kind of horrible reporting that CNN is doing.
And it feels good to be able to out them for lying because they're liars.
CNN is not news.
You know, they're the opposite of news.
Anything else to add to this, my panel?
Anything for you?
I mean, I was just going to say, you know, I think anytime you're in any corporate structure, the pressure to conform is insane.
So you might come in there, you know, all moralistic and wide-eyed.
That corporation is going to cut away at you and cut away at you until that stuff is gone.
If you're going to, if you're going to stay, if you're going to keep that job.
so even if you're a young reporter going into a place the chance of you actually getting able to sneak some truth out here and there is is gonna be small you know um so yeah it's just it's uh It's something that I think is a problem, you know, not just in news, but in so many areas.
And that's why, and because it's so common, so many people don't see it.
You know, they don't realize when they're getting propaganda.
They don't realize when they're being pressured to conform.
They don't even see it because it's something that's constant.
I just don't understand the whole conversation of why we have to have any kind of humanitarian aid in Venezuela when we are having all these sanctions against them and that everybody wants us to overthrow this government and Donald Trump is our president.
I thought we were all worried that Donald Trump was so crazy that so why is the media championing this coup?
Because they're bought and funded by the people they're supposed to be investigating.
That's why.
And they are lapdogs to power.
You know, I just want to get this Chomky quote because it's perfect.
It fits perfectly right here.
Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media.
Not only the obedience, but the uniformity.
And that's what you're seeing with Tulsi Gabbard.
Every show she goes on, she gets the same kind of crazy questions as if she was being interviewed by someone from the government.
And you're seeing it with Venezuela.
You see it with Syria.
You saw it with Iraq.
You saw it with Libya.
The uniformity and obedience.
It just goes to show you that, you know, we're ruled by sociopaths.
Now, we've said this at this show that the corporate Democrats, their first order of business is not to defeat the Republican.
That the first order of business of Tom Perez, the DNC, and all the corporate Democrats is to first make sure you defeat the candidate who represents workers.
So they first, just what the DNC did, they first defeated Bernie Sanders, and then maybe we'll turn our attention to Donald Trump.
If we beat Trump, good.
If we don't, that's too bad.
But we definitely got to beat Bernie Sanders.
Now, when I said that at first, well, first of all, I didn't say that.
Shama Sawant was the one who first told me that.
And I was like, come on.
I mean, I'm willing to criticize the Democrats, but that seems a little over the, that is exactly the truth.
She is exactly right that they would rather lose to a Republican than let a progressive Democratic socialist like Bernie or Tulsi or even Elizabeth Warren win.
You think I'm kidding?
Watch this.
Watch this.
Here we go.
Willie, I just got a tags from one of the smartest people I know in politics who said, oh, my God, the Democratic Party is in crisis.
They've gotten to a point where an American success story can't even say he's a capitalist.
Yeah, that was extraordinary.
I thought Governor Hickenlooper, who has done very well in life because he started up this beer company in Denver, became mayor, became the governor of the state, and benefited from capitalism.
He couldn't say that he was a capitalist because he was worried about that label.
I think it's a stick.
Yeah, I got to just say, you know, worried about that label capitalist, you know, the system that stole your democracy, sends your child to war, kills your grandmother for a profit, is destroying the environment so a CEO can buy another yacht.
Worried about that label?
Yeah, you should be worried about that label.
Yeah.
So they're talking about Governor Hickenlooper, who is in the pocket of the fossil fuel industry, who Hickenlooper, God damn it, from the, from Denver, from, from, I mean, Colorado.
Yes.
And so he said he doesn't feel comfortable to label himself, refuses to label himself a capitalist.
Isn't that funny?
So this is the big, this is a big crisis for them.
And here they bring on Donny Deutsch.
You know who Donny Deutsch is, right?
So Donny Deutsch, just so you know, before we start this, he's worth somewhere around $250 million.
Just imagine.
How do you spend $250 million, right?
This is crazy.
Anyway, you can buy $200 million houses and still have $50 million left.
Here we go.
About where the Democratic Party is.
I think it's a statement about fearing the left flank of the party.
You've seen Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders obviously sticking to the core of who they are.
But even now, people who are not Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren, people who are capitalists by definition, by the virtue of success they've had in their lives, afraid to use the word.
It's incredible.
It is incredible.
And Donny Deutsch, I know you've said it, but I mean, others, again, are saying it.
The Democratic Party is in crisis right now.
Trump is going to devour every one of these candidates if they can't say they support capitalism.
But yes, it needs to be reformed.
It had to be reformed after, you know, after the Gilded Age.
It had to be reformed by Teddy Roosevelt.
It had to be reformed by FDR.
It had to be reformed again by LBJ.
What does that tell you about your system?
Hey, this system is fucked all the time.
It keeps getting fucked over and over and over.
And guess who keeps it?
It keeps crashing.
And guess what?
It had to be reformed again in 2008.
It didn't get reformed, which is why we got Donald Trump as our president.
It didn't get reformed.
And 80% of the workers in America live paycheck to paycheck.
We didn't reform it.
Barack Obama didn't reform it.
Barack Obama did worse than John McCain would have done to the people who got their houses underwater.
Barack Obama not only didn't help the homeowners, he kicked them out of their houses and then not only bailed out the banks, but he gave the bank their house too.
That's why we have Trump.
So Joe is going, hey, capitalism is always messed up.
It's always screwing over people and it has to be reformed all the time.
That's a bad system.
But anyway, well, let's go.
Okay.
When he, Willie Geist said, you know, oh, you have Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, these socialists.
Well, he forgot to talk about Tulsi.
And by the way, Elizabeth Warren came out and said, I am a proud capitalist to her bones.
Yes.
I think she said, I'm a capitalist to my bone.
You are correct.
And so, yeah.
Well, she also said she was Native American.
Yeah, I know.
That's right.
It's correct.
You are right about that.
So these guys aren't afraid of socialism.
These guys are what, I mean, they are, but that's not what they're objecting to.
They're afraid of regular stuff like Medicare for all and free college tuition and a living wage and strong.
That's what they're, that's what this is about.
So watch Donnie.
They're not afraid.
No one's actually proposing socialism where the government controls the economy and the means of production.
Nobody's pushing that.
Bernie's not pushing that for sure.
What Bernie is pushing is capitalism with a strong social safety net.
That's what he's pushing.
Am I wrong about that, Judith?
I'm not always an expert on the terms.
Okay.
So I'm not the person to verify that.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you know, I don't cut that out.
Got to keep it real.
Cut that part out.
I don't want it.
I don't want that in.
You want to say that?
Jimmy, I'm just sitting here and talking about how people label themselves.
And I was talking to a conservative and this conservative kept saying, I want less government.
Well, I know this conservative can't wait for their social security to kick in.
You know, and I also the idea that I want less government.
And I do know that this person does banking with Wells Fargo.
And if anything, I want more government to make sure that I'm protected when I do business with banks.
And when they're talking about social services and social welfare, well, I'm tired of welfare for the big businesses and corporations.
Well, again, when he left this part out, when Joe Scarborough started saying all the times that capitalism collapses and we had to reform it, meaning bail it out.
So he forgot the last time in 2008 when the whole entire capitalistic economy crashed.
And what did we have to do?
We had to do socialism.
So capitalism always crashes and then you have to come and bail it out.
And what is that?
That's called socialism.
So what we did was we took these businesses that failed.
Those banks had failed.
And what did we do?
We gave them money.
We gave it back to the same people who failed.
When the GM failed, we just gave them money.
We gave it back to the same people who failed as capitalists.
Now, watch Donny Deutsch.
Here we go.
Yes, capitalism has to be reformed from time to time to work for all Americans.
But my God, if you're afraid to say you're a capitalist.
Let me just say, it has to be reformed so it can work for everyone.
Today on the news, members of the elite group who benefits from the system tells you how the system benefits everyone in America.
I'm just going to tell you, people on the left tweeting day may not like it.
Let me just let you in on a little secret.
If that is a crisis for your party, you're going to lose in 2020.
Just, you know what?
Pull up the stakes on the tent and just pack her up.
The party's over.
This is the guy who's his own party couldn't keep Trump from winning the nomination.
He's giving advice to the Democrats.
His own party couldn't beat Donald Trump.
And now he's going to say, I got to tell you, Donald Trump, blah, blah, blah.
And by the way, the prescription that they're prescribing for us, their remedy is to do what Hillary Clinton did, which is lose.
So watch Donny Deutsch.
Do you think it's ahead?
That's an amazing freeze frame right there.
Can we just admire that for a minute?
I mean, that's incredible.
That is a work of art.
We should frame that.
Sorry.
Joe, I'm going to take it one step further because this is how dangerous socialism.
I find Donald Trump reprehensible as a human being, but a socialist candidate is more dangerous to this country as far as the strength of the world.
I don't know if you caught that.
But that's called a Freudian slip.
So that's when you let out what you're actually thinking.
And so when he just said that socialism is a greater threat to this company than Donald Trump, what he wanted to say out loud was country.
What he was actually thinking was company.
I'll play it for you again.
I find Donald Trump reprehensible as a human being, but a socialist candidate is more dangerous to this country as far as the strength and well-being of our country than Donald Trump.
I would vote for Donald Trump, a despicable human being.
There it is.
Just what I said.
They would rather lose to Donald Trump than let Bernie Sanders win.
And there it is.
There it is.
This is a guy saying, I'm with you.
I'll vote against Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Tulsi Gabbard.
I'm voting against all of them.
I would rather vote for Donald Trump.
And now you know why you have Donald Trump.
That's why you have Donald Trump.
Because 80% of the people in this country work paycheck to paycheck.
And this motherfucker wants your life to be even worse.
And then vote for someone.
It's amazing.
What do you make of that?
Well, two things.
You know, before he had that slip you were talking about, which is which is, you know, he was actually telling the truth.
This is a company.
It's a corporation.
You know, are we a country or a corporation?
But right before that, he said he finds Donald Trump reprehensible as a human being.
Now, the fact that he could have just ended it reprehensible.
But not as a governor.
But when he adds human being, that means, okay, Percy doesn't like him, but that means he's liking his policies.
Sounds like it.
Yeah.
And the other thing is, and this is something I realized a while ago.
It's like, you know, we have two main parties that dominate the country.
And so you're basically, you have two teams and you have one league.
The two teams are the Democrats and the Republicans.
And the one league is the United States, right?
So basically, the Republicans, there's always two teams going against each other.
So Republicans are always there, right?
The Democrats are always there.
But if Bernie, people like Bernie, Warren, AOC, you know, Tulsi, they come in, then the players, the current starters, are now being benched.
Yeah.
So the Republicans can win every election.
All the Democrats that are currently in power will still have their careers and their starting positions.
But if you have people like Bernie and stuff coming in, then they're going to get replaced and they're not going to be on the team anymore.
They're going to be out of the league.
Let me help your metaphor.
Let me help your metaphor.
It's a long metaphor.
That the Democrats are the Washington generals and they're paid to lose.
There you go.
And so right now, Tulsi Gabbard and Bernie Sanders actually could win.
And that would actually stop the gravy train of the Washington generals getting paid to lose because then they'd start winning.
Their money would dry up.
And that's why they're afraid of Tulsi and Bernie because they would actually be doing stuff that the country wants, but the money oligarchs don't want.
That's exactly what this is.
So now watch Joe have to, he realizes the gaff that he has made.
And this is going out live.
That even though, even though Joe Scarborough would gladly vote for Donald Trump over Bernie Sanders, he wouldn't say it out loud because he knows that you can't say that out loud.
Right.
But here, here, Donny Deutsch, not as smart as Joe Scarborough.
He did inherit his money anyway.
But so here we go.
Let's watch this.
Let me tell you.
Let me correct myself.
Thank you, Joe.
Thank you.
You will never vote for a bigot, a guy that's made bigots.
I get past three.
Thank you for correcting me.
I stand correctly.
The puppets of oligarchy are so weak-minded, they have to keep checking in with each other to figure out what they actually think.
Isn't that something that is awesome?
You're right, Joe.
You're right.
I guess I would vote for Bernie Sanders.
Do you really believe that?
Do you think that that 200 millionaire would vote for Bernie Sanders after he just said he wouldn't?
I'm so happy that this happened in a sense because I don't have to convince anybody anymore.
I just have to play this videotape, and it reveals who they are.
It reveals that what we've been saying all along is exactly true.
That the corporate Democrats would much rather happily vote for Donald Trump than vote for Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren even or Tulsi Gabbard.
Even Elizabeth Warren.
Isn't that amazing?
That's how now do you understand why we need a third party?
Because when an honest person tries to enter that party, this is what they do to them.
They make them off to be like they're Hitler or something.
And all they want to do is bring people health care.
Watch, it gets worse.
Watch this.
Be so distraught to the point that that could even come out of my mouth if we have a socialist attack because that will take our country so down.
And we are not Denmark.
I love Denmark.
You know, that's not who we are.
No, we are much shittier than Denmark, believe me.
Have you ever been to Denmark?
They actually take care of their people.
They have a living wage.
You make $20 an hour for working at McDonald's.
And everybody, the economy runs fine.
And everybody has health care.
Everybody has an education.
Isn't it fantastic?
Have you ever been to Denmark?
I think it's the happiest country in the world.
And Donnie Deutsch wants to tell you, we're not like them.
Of course we're not like them because we have a bunch of assholes like you running the country, Donnie, and they don't take care of anybody.
30 million Americans don't even have health care.
And you're afraid that somebody's going to make it worse?
I did three shows in Copenhagen last year, and it was awesome.
Yeah?
Yeah.
It's great.
A lot of homeless people sleeping under everywhere you go.
Well, I didn't see any.
You didn't see any?
I didn't see any.
That's weird.
They may have them.
I don't know.
I was in Norway.
I was in Norway.
I didn't see one homeless person.
You didn't see any in Copenhagen?
No, but I was only there a few days.
So I didn't go everywhere.
I'm not an expert on it.
Yeah, like when you it was if you're in New York or LA for a couple of days, you probably wouldn't see any homeless.
No, New York.
No, New York.
Yeah, it's definitely unfortunately.
It's things have increased in New York.
You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a homeless person in New York or L.A. So isn't that amazing?
I don't want to be like Denmark.
Can you imagine what?
So that's definitely not a guy who is worried about paying for his medication.
That's definitely not a guy who doesn't have health care.
That's definitely not a guy who's working for wages in America.
He's not a wage earner because wage earners live paycheck to paycheck.
So there's more to this.
And if you love who we are and all the great things that still have to have binders put on the side, please step away from the socialism.
Let me correct myself.
I will never vote for Donald Trump.
Thank you, Joe.
Okay, very good.
What are you afraid of in Denmark?
You're afraid that we actually might take care of our people.
You know, like that's a guy, like, he's criminally neoliberal.
You're right.
Because, you know, they're bringing him on and they're asking just for someone's opinion.
And they're bringing on someone who's a multi-millionaire.
Why don't you have the Warren Joe show have a low-income person on their show, like an unemployed person, and be like, hey, what's your opinion on this?
You know, they don't get a voice.
They don't have to go outside the building.
They could just go, hey, why don't you go ask one of the makeup people?
Why don't you ask the janitor?
Why don't you ask the guy who's running the camera?
Why don't you ask the employees at Subway Sandwiches in the basement of the building?
Why don't you ask the person you buy your coffee from before you come up here?
How about those people at Starbucks Morning, Joe?
Why don't you ask them what they think about Bernie Sanders?
Or the intern.
No, let's ask a 200 millionaire.
This is who we go.
They go from Willie Geist to this guy.
And there we go.
We covered it.
We covered it.
And it's, yeah.
I love Denmark, but we're not Denmark.
And we are determined to be way worse than them.
And that's our right.
Today at Morning Joe, could a not-of-touch rich guy bring himself to vote for Donald Trump?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Hey, it's Mitt Romney's birthday.
I thought I'd give him a call for his birthday.
And I look like one, two.
Oh, goodness.
Oh, my.
Hello.
Happy birthday, Mitt.
Jimmy, guess what?
It's my birthday.
Yay!
My team surprised me with a birthday cake made out of my favorite snack, Twinkies.
A cake made of Twinkies?
You betcha.
Holy cow, what a sight it was to see.
Goodness gracious.
As you know, I like to remove the candles from my Twinkie Pie and blow them out individually.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Steph Semerano, and Mark Van Landowick.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't break out.
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