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March 30, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:04:02
20180330_0330_TJDS_PODCAST
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Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Hello, Jimmy.
This is Christiana Mampour from CNN.
Oh, hi, Christiane.
Nice to hear from you.
How are you?
I'm doing splendidly.
I have a new show on CNN that airs on Saturday evenings.
I hope you can check it out.
Oh, is that so?
Yes.
It's called Sex and Love Around the World.
In it, I travel the globe, interviewing women from Tokyo to Berlin, Kimbok 2 to Bali about relationships, love, and sex.
laughter laughter I'm sorry.
Wow, well, that sounds very interesting.
What gave you the idea for this?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
Whilst I was covering the war in Syria with all its displaced people living in refugee camps or huddled together in war zones, I wondered to myself, how do these people maintain normal human relationships in the midst of all this?
You know, have sex.
What a paddley bizarre thing to wonder about.
I know.
Jimmy, I'd like to talk to you about sex.
Yeah, I really don't.
You live in California, one of the most sexually progressive parts of the United States, if not the world.
What's that like?
Do you feel your love life is different because you're a Californian?
I'm sorry, Christiane.
I really don't feel comfortable talking about my personal life like that.
Oh, come on.
Who doesn't like talking about sex?
Lots of people, actually.
Jimmy, are you fulfilled?
Look.
Sex.
Honestly, Christiane, this is what you're using your platform for.
CNN has millions of viewers.
Perhaps you guys could devote maybe, I don't know, 30 seconds a day on the bombing in Yemen, how it has become a failed state with the help of American weapons, instead of whether or not women there have multiple orgasms.
Oh, I got you to say orgasm.
Oh, oh, brother.
Look, these are important topics.
People want to know about this.
In one episode, I go to a bondage parlor in Berlin.
Who cares?
People who are into bondage, that's who.
They need to know that there are other people just like them, and that some of them live in Berlin.
This just seems like one more piece of fluff lifestyle programming that CNN is investing in.
Like Anthony Bourdain and that other guy and whoever face.
I don't see why a network that considers itself a news source can't also be half glamorous jet-setting travelogue.
You really don't?
Because I do.
Jimmy, how many times a day do you have sex?
I try to keep it to a minimum so I have time to do my job, which is being a media watchdog and keeping track of CNN's distortions and omissions.
Good answer.
So like three?
Maybe we could do an episode in Pasadena.
Is there a secret sex club there?
I have no idea.
There is a cheesecake factory, though.
I know that.
Boring.
Well, their bang bang chicken and shrimp sure isn't boring.
No, only sex.
No chain restaurants.
I'm a CNN lifestyle correspondent now.
I wouldn't be caught dead in that place.
Suit yourself.
All right.
This has been brilliant, but I have to go.
We're in Trondheim, Norway, and we're about to film a segment at a cafe that specializes in belly dancing.
Belly dancing in Norway.
Can you believe it?
Yes.
Yes, I can.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...up-minded, lowly-lovered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you guys.
And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I'm here with Rod Placone.
Hey, Rod.
Hey, Jimmy.
We got a lot of stuff.
A lot of clips of this week's show coming up from our live show in Austin, Texas at the Wonderful State Theater.
What a great time.
I know you're going to enjoy this week's show, but before we get to it, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, anybody watch that 60-minute Stormy Daniels interview?
I kept waiting for Rachel Maddow to jump out of Stormy's cleavage with Donald Trump's 2005 tax return.
But that never happened.
Never happened.
Damn.
How else are we going to inspire voters?
Hey, this week, Barack Obama said he'd like to, quote, create a million young Barack Obamas to run the next stage in the relay race that is human progress.
Let's see.
One million Obamas comes to over 26 trillion bombs a year.
Now that's progress.
That is progress.
Am I right?
Come on.
It's a math joke.
Hey, one effective way to inspire young people to vote, apart from letting corporations shoot their friends, it might be to stop engaging in infantile xenophobic revenge fantasies against nuclear powers and instead start focusing on eradicating America's fascism.
But you know, Stormy Daniels boobs, right?
I don't know if you hear about Laura Ingram got a little trouble.
She went after the Parkland kid.
She went after the Parkland kid, started making fun of his grades.
No kidding.
A Kai Schooler, there's a person with a new show was ridiculing a high schooler's grades because he became an anti-gun activist.
Boy, Laura Ingram, she's not so much pro-life as she is pro-life setbacks.
Come on.
And by the way, if Alan Dershowitz does represent Donald Trump, he'll be downgraded from Ron Silver to Scott Bayo.
I gotta say, Ron, I do not think it bodes well for Trump that his next team of lawyers will base their entire legal strategy around Marissa Tome's knowledge of automobiles.
Come on, Vinny.
Billy.
Arno doesn't know what that joke is.
Nope.
It's okay.
Gotta be award winner.
You know, I don't follow baseball, so when hashtag beat LA was trending, I thought maybe somebody organized a Charles Bukowski walking tour.
Come on, do you read?
Who's reading?
By the way, I don't know if you saw CNN tweeted out a photo of George Bush dancing.
And it said George Bush busts a move or something.
Always the hard-hitting news.
Yep, beat busting.
It was something about him dancing.
There was videotape of him dancing at a wedding and they did a big I've been simply say this.
Dear CNN, the only way I want to celebrate George W. Bush's dance moves is if it was a real-life embodiment of jailhouse rock because I have a memory.
P.S. This is an apple.
Boy, it's sure.
I don't know if the new razz Rosead TV shows up.
It's crazy.
People are upset that Roseanne's character is a Trump supporter.
Imagine a blue-collar person that kind of felt abandoned by the Democrats and gave someone else a try.
Total fantasy fiction.
Total fantasy fiction.
And I'm sure it's crazy that Roseanne would have a pro-Trump character.
We all know how progressive rural Illinois typically is.
Let's protest this because it matters.
Hashtag MixResistance.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Like I said, we're going to talk about the March Against Guns.
And we're going to talk about Bernie Sanders when he had that town hall on income inequality, which, by the way, was not covered.
Not covered by the establishment media.
No kidding.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Mitt Romney calls in.
Liam Neeson calls in.
And we have a new caller, Christian Abonporn from CNN.
That's coming up, plus a lot lot more.
That's today of the Jimmy Doer Show.
All right, you ready to start this fucking show?
Yes!
All right.
ladies and gentlemen please welcome mike mccray Yay!
I thought I was going to be, I didn't know I was coming out now.
Yeah, you're coming up.
What?
Did you have some shit to do that you wanted to take care of?
No, I had some taxes are due soon.
I got to work on them.
Does this look like he thought he would look like?
No.
I never look like you think I'm going to.
So let's bring out our next guest.
Ladies and gentlemen, you know her you love her, the miserable liberal.
It's Steph Sabarotto, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Hi, Steph.
It's good to see you.
Now, I would do a lot of banter with you, but you already did a set, so.
Hola.
Okay.
You know, Jimmy, I did go to the Citibank Cafe down the street.
You went to the Citibank Cafe?
I went to the Citibank Cafe.
I had the Citibank Cafe burger.
It was delicious.
And while I was eating, they were able to renegotiate my mortgage at a lower interest rate.
And unfortunately, on the way out, they repossessed my plate and fork.
That's a new joke.
I'm really proud of this.
You thought you owned.
You thought you owned that burger.
You did not.
No, I ate.
Last time I was in town, I ate at that Capitol Grill, and I had the mac and cheese thing.
And I'm still fucking paying that off, by the way.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ron Placone is here for us.
Ron Placo.
The man, the myth.
All right.
How are you, Ron?
I'm wonderful.
No, Ron, people don't know what you just did.
I went and I got sandwiches for the crew.
After he finished his set.
I did.
I actually made it.
You didn't forget the pastrame, did you?
No, no.
I specifically asked for that twice.
Anyway, we're very proud to have you as part of the Democratic Party.
The Dreamers are a big thing with us right now.
They are.
They are.
What?
Wait.
We need the Dreamers.
Don't try to resist the resistance, Jimmy.
You can't do it.
All right, let's bring it.
There's other people, Felipe Falafalo.
I don't.
You pushed your glasses up.
They almost look normal.
There you go.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, don't be stabbed.
We can both be part of the resistance.
You can't steal my look, Jimmy Doerr.
I'm on to you.
Since I'm in Texas.
I won't even let Kirsten Gillibrand do that.
I like that sets up in Texas.
I thought I would open up with a little bit of Ted Cruz.
Now, Ted Cruz was giving a speech at the, I was going to say, I said the Faith and Freedom fucking family coalition with Roy Moore or something like that.
I'm not sure.
He was giving a speech to some people who didn't know they were hypocrites.
And I just thought it was fun because he's such a blowhard.
Even the guy who was running the tech at that show wanted to get him off stage.
And here we go.
Ready?
Here we go.
So what I want to say to the men and women here is two things.
Number one, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you for your passion.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for your energy.
Thank you for speaking out and working to retake our nation.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage the Southern Regional Director of Faith and Freedom Coalition, Virginia Galloway.
Thank you.
That's awesome.
You know what this teaches us?
teaches us that when it comes to a ted cruz speech even the religious right is cool with abortion that's the joke i love how the guy who introduced it sounded like he was about to introduce molly hatchet based on his Then he's just like, well, I guess I'll bug a gun.
I love Virginia.
Virginia comes out like this.
yeah she's she's like get the Here, let's watch it again.
Here we go.
Cheers, thank you for your passion.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for your energy.
Thank you for speaking out and working to retake our nation.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage the Southern Regional Director of Faith and Freedom Coalition, Virginia Galloway.
Yeah, there she is.
Get the book up too.
Why don't you move your goddamn ass up too?
Faith and Freedom Caucus.
Here she comes.
Move your ass out.
Kennedy dance.
Motherfuck.
Super.
Yeah, that's a good song, dude.
What do you do?
Hey, by the way, I couldn't do a show in Austin without mentioning the Austin bomber and the police, right?
And the police caught him, but it was really unique how they caught that bomber.
They really employed a really unique tactic.
They asked him to call them.
What the fuck?
The Dallas police is asking whoever shot John F. Kennedy to give them a ring.
Otherwise, we're going to just make some shit up.
So they had the big march.
I went to the march here in Austin.
Anybody go to the march in Austin?
You went to the march?
I went to the march.
I mean, I went by the march.
And we went by some guys with rifles.
You remember that?
There's like six dudes and their mom.
And they were all walking around with these rifles, right?
And people were like just making fun of them.
They really seemed like they were embarrassed.
They were like.
It was like nobody else showed up to be with them.
No one else showed up to be with them.
It was just them.
And they were like, I'm in my own town.
No one likes me.
And so this is someone.
This is some of the video.
Here's a woman who here's a young lady who gave a speech.
And let's listen to it.
I have lived in South LA my entire life and have lost many loved ones to gun violence.
This is normal.
Normal to the point that I've learned to duck from bullets before I learned how to read.
My brother, he was in high school when he passed away.
It was a day like any other day.
Sunset going down on South Central.
You hear pops thinking they're fireworks.
They weren't pops.
You see the melanin on your brother's skin turn gray.
Ricardo, what's his name?
Can y'all say it with me?
So that was pretty powerful, I thought.
I thought that was pretty powerful.
And so here's an 11-year-old girl.
I don't know if you saw this.
She's 11.
And she decided she let us walk out at her own school.
And she gave this, here's a little piece of her speech.
Carter let a walk out at our elementary school on the 14th.
We walked out.
We walked out for 18 minutes, adding a minute to honor Cortland Arrington, an African-American girl who was the victim of gun violence in her school in Alabama after the Parkland shooting.
I am here today to represent Cortland Arrington.
I am here today to represent Hadia Pendleton.
I am here today to represent Tiana Thompson, who at just 16 was shot dead in her home here in Washington, D.C. I am here today to acknowledge and represent the African-American girls whose stories don't make the front page of every national newspaper.
Whose stories don't lead on the evening news.
I represent the African-American women who are victims of gun violence, who are simply statistics instead of vibrant, beautiful girls at full potential.
I don't know about you, but when I saw that, I cried, right?
The first time I saw it, I was just like crying and I couldn't stop crying.
And I'm a little crying now.
And then I saw her speech and I couldn't believe it.
And then I saw this speech.
So here's a legislator from Florida, and here they are debating gun legislation.
And here we go.
We've been told that we need to listen to the children.
I do what the children ask.
Are there any children on this floor?
Are there any children making...
That was, there's a fuck you that got an applause if I got that.
Pause, do we allow the children to tell us that we should pass a law that says no homework or you finish high school at the age of 12 just because they want it so?
No.
The adults make the laws because we have the age.
We has the wisdom.
Why are we listening to H.I. McDonough's wife from Raising Arizona?
Okay, you want to hear her say that again?
Because she said she really did say that.
The adults make the laws because we have the age.
We has the wisdom.
We don't has the grammar.
But we do have the bumstocks.
And we has the money from the NRA.
So we has the gall to tell people good ideas that they're too young to have good ideas.
And that's what that is.
Let's listen.
And we have the experience.
Yeah, they don't have the, she doesn't have the experience of worrying about being shot in English class.
That's what she doesn't have.
She doesn't have that experience.
You know what else she doesn't have?
She doesn't have the experience of being a fucking decent human being.
She doesn't have that experience either.
She also doesn't have the experience of representing the people who voted for her or their children or anybody else in the fucking world except the Almighty Dollar.
That's what she does.
That's the other experience she doesn't have.
She doesn't have any of those experiences.
And by the way, go ahead, Ron.
Well, I was just going to add, I think what happened is the universe in 2017 said there could not possibly be a cop out dumber than all lives matter.
Ha ha!
And this woman said, hold my beard.
And I'm with Bill Rohrbach.
Bill Rohrbach, if you don't follow him, you should.
Bill Rohrbach says, if they're old enough to date Roy Moore, they're old enough to campaign for change.
Thank you.
Good for you, Bill.
Rick Santorum says that teens should protest.
They should learn CPR instead.
My friend Dana Dude, who's hilarious, he says, agreed, Rick, they should also learn how to catch bullets in their teeth like the dude from The Last Dragon.
I feel like I'm probably alone right now, but as a high school English teacher, I am ready to be armed.
And all I keep thinking is, you know, like one morning, it's like, where's your homework?
I'm going to ask you one more time.
And also, I think, like, honestly, are there any teachers in this room?
Let me hear it for the teachers.
Let me hear it by applause.
All right, I want to say this.
Let me see if I can convince you.
Once upon a time, the United States had 33% union membership.
Right?
It went down to 11%, and now supposedly it's 7%.
Thank God that's over.
And Texas.
And Texas is a rot-to-work state, and I thank God and Jesus personally for that.
And that is one of the great things that we accomplished.
That's one of the great things you have the Republican governance here over a long period of time, starting in the early 90s, accomplished here in Texas is making a route to Work State.
Now, I was proud to be a part of that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And I think people are freer here for it.
I think people here have more opportunity and choice.
And I'm wearing my smart guy glasses, so I know what I'm talking about.
Rick Perry, ladies and gentlemen, Rick Perry.
Barack Obama, this is a guy Scott Dorkin.
You know who he is?
He's a big grifter.
He's one of those resistance grifters.
And he says, if Barack Obama were still, he's a neoliberal is what I'm talking about.
He's trying to trick you.
And if Barack Obama was still president, he'd be at a march, not wasting millions in taxpayer money so he could hide at Mar-a-Largo.
Barack Obama's not president, which means he doesn't have a job, and he still didn't show up at a fucking march.
What do you think about that?
And you know what, Jimmy?
What do you think about that?
Jimmy, he never put on a soft shoe to walk with teachers.
Never put on a soft shoe to walk with any.
Here's another guy.
He said, if Barack Obama were still president and the Senate Dems and the House Democrats were in power, we wouldn't have to march.
We'd have tried to fix this.
Really?
And I said, weird that when he was president and the Democrats were in power and had complete control of the government, they didn't propose any fucking gun legislation.
Hey!
That's weird.
That's weird.
It's almost like he was waiting until he didn't have control of government to propose gun legislation that he knew wouldn't fucking pass.
It's almost like that.
It's almost like that.
In fact, it's exactly like that because that's what the fuck happened.
Hey.
Hey, man.
A lot of people don't think about this.
I was just trying to get not assassinated.
Okay.
Does anyone ever think about that?
No, Barack Obama hates violence.
Just ask a drone.
Am I right?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
I didn't start that shit.
I didn't start the drones.
I didn't do all that.
No, Barack Obama wouldn't be hiding at Mar-a-Lago.
He would be, I don't know, skydiving.
I'm getting him literally mad pretending I'm Barack Obama.
I was ever part of this show.
Go on.
If Barack Obama was president, he'd recommend that all those kids in Florida and the NRA would have a beer together.
That's what he would be recommending.
If Obama wasn't president, he'd say nice sounding yet pretty much neutral things about our march.
We miss him.
Obama wouldn't waste our tax money on Mar-a-Largo.
He'd waste it up building a new drone inventory.
Am I right?
Come on.
What the fuck?
What's the, oh, here's Bernie Sanders.
When the kids marched on Washington, D.C., he went out to greet them.
And I was thinking it was exactly the kind of greeting Hillary would have gotten, right?
writers Bernie!
It's just like a Hillary rally, am I right?
I see somebody incredibly unelectable.
I mean, oh, boy.
It would have been McGovern, I'll tell you.
There's nobody over 90 years old who's going to vote for that guy.
Oh, I'm...
I just got...
I was wrong.
That was Barbara Bush.
Fucking Barbara Bush.
So he had already given a speech, and they loved him so much, he gave another one.
Thank you all for being here today.
We are very proud of what you are doing.
Oh, he doesn't say kids don't have a fucking reason to talk.
Oh, that's weird.
It's so weird.
He'll never win a Republican primary like that.
You!
You, the young people of this country are leading the nation, and the Congress has called for me.
I want to take you back, ladies and gentlemen, to the summer of 2016, to the same kind of feeling people had around Hillary Clinton.
I believe that she will win!
There's like one dude in a suit.
One dude in a suit is clapping because he's paid for this whole thing.
And there's someone with a Bernie T-shirt on!
Oh my god!
When I say Hillary, you say fire!
Hillary!
Fire!
Hillary!
Fire!
Hillary!
Fire!
When I say Hillary, you say fire!
Hillary!
Champion!
Hillary!
Champion!
That's just sad.
I'm with her.
How dare you?
She is.
Yes.
Yes.
How dare you?
Are you doing that?
Hillary supporter?
Yes, I am.
And you know what?
You know what?
Quiet.
I've never done it live for any reason because no one deserved it.
And also, I don't know what this person is supposed to act like, but who cares?
But there you go, just starting out a segment, just blatantly, just pulling on the hatred of Hillary Clinton.
Isn't that inherently sexist on your part?
No, boo you.
Boo all of you.
How dare you?
You know, Hillary supporter, I actually wanted to buy her book.
I did.
I wanted to buy her book.
Good, you should have.
Did you?
Well, I didn't because I wanted to buy it until I found out it wasn't a choose your own adventure.
Oh, yeah.
Fine.
Fine.
All right, okay.
I get it.
Jokes or whatever.
Hey, hope you're enjoying today's show.
Remember, we have a new thing, a new way for you to help support us.
Well, you can become a premium member.
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Go there.
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Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
All right.
So here, you know, I like to talk.
I say, what do you call a system that takes half the country in the richest country in the world and renders them poor or low income?
You call that a failed system.
So that's my little thing I like to say.
Peter Joseph says 63% of Americans can't afford a $1,000 emergency.
And here's Michael Moore.
He has his own little thing to show you how there was a statistic I read recently that said on any given night in America, nearly 60% of our fellow Americans, if a loved one passed away tonight across the country, they don't have the money to be able to go to the funeral, to fight there.
Nearly 60% of this country does not have available to them access to them in their pocket, in the bank, whatever, $400.
Nearly 60% of our fellow Americans.
And, you know, he spends that much on a good barbecue dinner.
The point is, it's not the fat shame.
That's not what this is about.
Although, Chris Christie.
Yeah.
You got the fat guy up there.
You ain't got a thumbs up going back with me.
You got a fat guy up there.
Fat guy down here.
You big hot shot.
You big hot shot.
Tell you jokes.
Tell that story.
Yes, actually, working with a group out of New York, the Human Rights Law Clinic at Columbia University School of Law.
So this is one of the women who invited, I don't know if you saw that.
I cover it on the show, but the intercepted an article about it, too, about they invited that person from the UN.
Thank you.
They invited that person from the UN to come visit us.
And this is what she's talking about and the unbelievable poverty he saw and reported back that he had never seen before in a first world country.
We wrote a letter inviting the UN Special Rapporteur on Extreme Poverty to come to Lynn's County.
Asked him to come to Alabama, and he agreed to come.
And when he went to Lyndes County, I told him we cannot take any.
We're going to people's homes.
We're not going to have a town hall meeting.
We're going to go so you can actually see this.
And he went there.
And when he went there and people told their stories, he went inside their homes and he could see and see their suffering.
And he went to a particular area where there was raw sewage all over the ground.
And one of the reporters asked him, had he ever seen this before?
And he said that this is uncommon in the first world.
And for those of you that don't know, Lownes County is between Selma and Montgomery.
We have people to go there every year to celebrate the Selma to Montgomery March.
And within 20 minutes of Selma, there are people living in these conditions that even the UN Special Rapporteur said is uncommon in the first world.
Okay.
So great to be alive.
And so here's a little bit more information that they gave us on the state of income inequality and poverty in the United States.
This, even more than that, blew my mind.
Here we go.
Well, let's even put some context on work in poverty.
45% of homeless individuals work.
Say that again.
I want everybody to hear that.
Actually, I'm slightly off.
44% of homeless individuals work.
Yeah.
But obviously don't earn enough to get themselves out of their situation so that they can have decent housing.
40% of workers are in contingent insecure jobs as defined by the general accounting office.
44% of workers earn below $15 an hour.
So that's the context in which we're in.
So those are amazing statistics.
In the richest country the world has ever seen.
44% of the homeless people have a job.
I don't know how I can't, I can't drive by another bridge overpass and see people living there in the richest country in the world and just keep fucking driving anymore.
I just can't fucking do that anymore.
I don't know what to do, but we got to do something because the youth listening to this show.
When I was a kid, there weren't homeless people in America.
I mean, there were some people that have heard, but all of a sudden after Ronald Reagan, the homeless population exploded, unbelievably.
I don't know how that happened.
And you know, it would take $20 billion to end homelessness in the United States, which is not even half the income of Jeff Bezos.
We could do that like that.
Like, fucking that, we can end it.
But they don't want to.
Nobody wants to end it.
And that's a pock on our soul as a country.
I mean, that's fucked up.
That we're not good, okay?
We're not what we pretend to be.
And here's one more thing.
The one issue that I would add, and maybe Michael could jump in on this one, is how often have you guys seen on television any discussion of poverty in America?
You ever see it?
No.
Virtually not at all.
40 million people struggling.
And what I would say to our friends in the corporate media, start paying attention to the reality of how many people in our country are struggling economically every single day.
Let's talk about that.
And what I say to Bernie, and what I say to Bernie is they talk about poverty and income inequality all the time, Bernie.
What are you talking about?
I mean, I turned on Fox News the other day, and here's Bill O'Reilly.
Some of the people who don't have enough to eat, it's their fault they don't have enough to eat.
What's the problem with what I said?
This is the greatest, like you said, the richest country in the world.
If people are homeless, it's their fault.
That's what he said.
Don't you think so?
Here's the thing.
Why do you not have children?
And this is where he really becomes great.
What's that?
This man seems to agree.
Yes.
If you're an alcoholic or a heroin addict or a drug addict.
I am.
So they do talk about it.
They talk about it in the major media.
Here's CNN.
So back in 2011, Cornell West and Travis Smiley were upset that Barack Obama wasn't addressing poverty in America.
You would think that the president, who was an African-American, would address poverty in America, but he wasn't.
So they did a tour to address poverty in America, to raise the consciousness.
And then CNN, Carol Campbell, decided to do an interview with them.
And here's the question that they asked our audience in front of this audience.
You ready for this?
This is the question they asked their audience in front of this interview.
You ready for this?
Here we go.
American Morning.
And this is the question we asked our viewers this morning.
Do the poor share responsibility for our economic woes.
And I'm.
American warning do the other Here we go.
This is the question we asked our viewers this morning.
Do the poor share responsibility for our economic woes.
Do the poor, this is right after the economic meltdown, and they're doing a poverty tour.
And she's like, let me ask our viewers.
Do the poor share and are blame for the economic meltdown?
What were the questions they decided not to ask?
Hey, rape victims.
What were they wearing?
That's really, that's the equivalent of what that is.
What a fucking ghoul.
I remember that.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, and I remember that.
Like, every time I see her now, I'm like, uh, like, uh, disregard everything she says.
And then, oh, yeah, I remember this lecture.
And the reason why he, oh, here we go.
But Carla put it this way.
Cornell, the Heritage Foundation, this is a conservative organization.
They did this study.
They say the poor in America today are unlike the poor in America years ago.
In fact, most of the poor in America live in a decent house.
They have TVs.
They have.
I have a smile that's like, "I'm gonna grope this bitch." They even have a refrigerator.
So what are they complaining about?
Put it a little bit this way.
And I...
I think that's why Cornell West wears that thing around his neck so his head doesn't fucking pop off when CNN hosts say stupid shit like that.
Like, what the fuck?
Do you want to hear that?
Look, this is an actual question.
Carnelli would put it this way.
Cornell, the Heritage Foundation, this is a conservative organization.
They did this study.
They say the poor in America today are unlike the poor in America years ago.
In fact, most of the poor in America live in a decent house.
They have TVs.
They have microwave ovens.
They even have a refrigerator.
So what are they complaining about?
But Carla put it this way.
Remember when I said the poor have microwave ovens?
They got microwave ovens.
They're probably laughing at us over a cup of noodles right now.
They got microwave ovens, those motherfuckers.
What the fuck?
There's a microwave oven on a fucking Greyhound bus.
Are you shitting me?
They got microwave ovens.
What are they about?
So what?
They can't see a doctor when they're sick.
Who gives a fuck?
I like how this is supposed to be the centrist news organization.
Yeah, by the way.
Here's a totally bullshit question, but don't worry.
We have some data from a right-wing propaganda think tank to back it up.
The Heritage Foundation.
Here's the next question.
You ready for this?
Obama painted the word poverty.
The word poor never came up one time.
Last year in his State of the Union address, the president became the first president since 1948 in that speech to not say the word poor or poverty.
One, we have to call it what it is.
Number two, there ought to be a White House conference on poverty.
We have conferences on everything else in the White House.
Why not a White House conference on poverty?
Why not a plan?
Just like we had a plan to raise the debt ceiling, why not a plan over 10, 15, 20 years?
The president represents everybody in America, not just the poor, not just the middle class, not just the wealthy.
We're dealing with a lot of stuff right now, so why concentrate on one segment of the population?
Thank you.
Hey, why do we want to fucking help the people who need it the most?
Why did the firefighters on 9-11 focus on the people in the Twin Towers?
Why for their other fires in New York on that day, I'm sure?
There's lots of fucked up shit.
Why you got to worry about poor people?
You know what, Jimmy?
almost like she knew they were in a whole nother studio PBS, I'm guessing from the backdrop.
Now, often when I'm faced with this kind of unbelievable corporate establishment bullshit, I freeze up, but I don't know what to say back, which is why I'm not as good as Cornell West, because he knows exactly what to fucking say back.
And here he goes.
You ready, Money here?
There you go.
When the banks had a national emergency, they bailed out and they found $700 billion.
When we go to war, we find $1.3, $1.3 trillion.
Well, the poor and working classes are living in a state of emergency.
It's a matter of national security, especially the children.
We've got 21% of our present children of all colors living in poverty.
morally obscene in the richest nation history of the world He's talking about morality and obscenities on CNN, which what the fuck.
And so he gave it to her.
And watch what she says back.
You ready?
I wish we could continue this conversation, but we've got to wrap it up here.
Goodbye.
Ah, we got a fucking time.
Mike, we should have more fucking time.
Oh, by the way, here's at a commercial from fucking Raytheon.
There's like an earpiece in her ear.
It's like, he brought up the military budget.
He brought up the military budget.
Go to commercial.
Go to commercial.
End the segment.
End the segment.
Here is Ann Romney talking about when she was poor.
We got married and moved into a basement apartment.
They moved into a basement apartment with nothing to live on except their love for each other and Mitt's trust fund.
We walked to class together, shared the housekeeping, ate a lot of pasta and tuna fish.
Oh, they ate pasta and tuna fish.
Luckily, Mitt owned controlling shares and runzoni and bumblebee.
Hey, those were good investments, honestly.
I don't like you disparaging that.
And she was right.
We had a hard time when we started out.
I mean, there was smaller space, limited square footage, and we couldn't eat necessarily everything we wanted to all the time.
I think that's literally the definition of poverty.
But we found this is America the greatest country in the world.
We found a way to survive and flourish after that.
And she did a great job describing in this speech.
I don't know why you're disparaging it.
I don't know what to say about it.
Michael Moore decided to tell the truth about what's wrong with America.
First, he starts out talking about the West Virginia teacher strike, which was fucking successful.
Successful.
The teacher strike fucking work.
Oh my God!
You think there would be on TV every fucking day?
People got together and they affected their government to help people and education.
Let's talk about it all day.
They didn't talk about it at all.
But here's what Michael Moore says.
This is a union.
This union brought down the state apparatus at 75% women in this union.
And Bernie, I didn't see hardly anything in the corporate media about this on any of the networks, even some of the networks that we watch.
Where, you know, Russia, turn the channel.
Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia.
He's repeating Rachel Maddow's fucking show list.
Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia.
Oh, my God.
That's Rachel Maddow's rundown for her fucking show that day.
I was going to say this is exactly what will be.
This is how we trick you.
Michael Morse to say Zo Deflection.
Well, that's what I love.
They talk about this is the only country.
I know you love, I know you love.
This is the only country where one of the richest oligarchs, Secretary of State, former senator, former wife of the one of the richest oligarchic corona campaign, lose to a fucking oligarch game show host and then blame it on another fucking country.
This is the only place this would happen.
Let's not borrow that stormy denial.
Oh, Bernie added Stormy Daniels to it, too.
I think his next movie is going to be called MSNBC McCarthyism and Me.
The shiny keys to distract us.
That's what goes on in the media.
All the other things that they talk about.
And we should be seeing this.
This we should see.
We should know about the West Virginia teacher strike and the victory.
What is the inspiration that would be around the country?
But we don't fucking know about the West Virginia successful teacher strike because the corporate media doesn't want to fucking know about it.
That's what's happening right now.
You know, talking earlier about the people who don't vote.
The largest political party in America right now is the non-voters party.
100 million plus strong.
66 million voted for Hillary, 63 million for Trump, 100 million.
And they are, Bernie, you've said this many times.
They're not voting because they're apathetic or they're lazy or they're stupid.
It's actually an act of civil disobedience to them.
That they refuse to participate in this.
And what I do, and if any of you are watching this at home, and you haven't voted because you feel the system has given up on you, and that it's just not worth it anymore, first of all, I embrace you.
I honor you for your courage, because you love this country, and you've decided that...
What's wrong with you for not voting for Hillary?
At least Michael Moore says, I respect you for not participating in this corrupt, bullshit, fucking corporatist bullshit system.
I'm with them on that.
Because what they want to make you think is if you don't vote for Democrat, you help to make this happen, which is what I've been told by blue check people on fucking Twitter that I made this happen.
And I told them, I'm fucking powerful, and you better watch out next time.
If you let those corporate Democrats piss me off, we'll fucking elect another Republican, you motherfucker.
Here's what Dylan Radigan, Dylan Radigan, by the way, here he is from, he's giving his news reports from a dentist office.
And moving on up, moving on up.
The Democrats.
The Democrats want you to believe that their party is, of course, wonderful and fabulous and wants to help save the world and all the rest of this.
And they want you to believe that the only problem with the American political system is the Republicans and more importantly, the corruption of the American political system and the Republicans by the Russians.
This, of course, would be the most horrible thing that could come from the current political situation.
Because if we allow the Democratic Party to convince anybody, ridiculous, they've even convinced themselves, that the primary issue with the American political process is Donald Trump and the Republicans, that validates their capacity to sustain themselves in a disgusting and corrupt fashion.
The reality is, the only reason we have Donald Trump as our president and these horrendous Republicans is because of the unadulterated failure and corruption in the Democratic Party.
Yes!
That's the problem.
Trump is a symptom.
That's the problem.
And he goes on.
How bad, how unappealing, how offensive Barack Obama and ultimately Hillary Clinton had to be to the American population in order for them to even remotely begin to choose someone like Donald Trump as a better alternative.
Think about how bad people have to view the level of corruption in the Democratic Party to think of Donald Trump as a remotely preferable alternative.
Donald Trump is terrible.
The Republicans are offensive beyond comprehension.
But the solution is not the Democrats.
The solution is a final terminal bypass of these two utterly corrupt political parties.
*Cheering*
That's exactly fucking right.
And here's Michael Moore admitting that, by the way.
Wasn't the end.
I mean, think about that.
They actually openly got quote.
Okay, this is the wrong clip.
Things we can't afford, Iraq, Afghanistan wars, Wall Street bailouts, big oil subsidies, F-35 program, things we can't afford, healthcare infrastructure, public transport, education.
So we all know that, right?
We all know that.
So, oh, by the way, John Podesta, if you don't realize that you don't have your own agency, but you are infected by foreigners and we have no ability to elect our own leaders, here is somebody at CEBS asking John Podesta that same question.
It had some impact.
But it does beg the question: how is it that these Russian operatives knew to focus on purple states like Michigan and Wisconsin, and your campaign didn't?
Well, of course we burned.
I just wanted to play that because fuck him, okay?
Fuck him and his shitty fucking campaign and his shitty fucking candidate and his shitty fucking ideas and his neoliberalism.
Fuck him and everybody around him and fuck off!
*applaudissements*
I also think you're being too harsh on him.
What's up?
I'm sorry, I think you're being too harsh, homes.
Never mind.
Okay.
And I want to remind everybody who these motherfuckers are, right?
You know who Robert Mueller is.
You know how the Democrats have propped up Robert Mueller and saying attacking Robert Mueller is attacking America.
Here's who fucking Robert Mueller is.
Director Kennett has pointed out Secretary Powell presented evidence last week that Baghdad has failed to disarm its weapons of mass destruction, willfully attempting to evade and deceive the international community.
our particular concern is that saddam hussein may supply terrorists with biological chemical or radiological material Mike, my concern is that the dog ate my homework and that other bad things happen because of other things.
Could he be fucking lying harder in your face right there?
And here is another guy.
Here's another neoliberal.
He's asking about the Iraqi.
I think the war is over and there's some difficulty with the peace.
Was it worth doing?
I think it was unquestionably worth doing, Charlie.
He thought it was unquestionably worth doing.
So that's Thomas Friedman.
He's the genius over at the New York Times, and here he is at the end.
And what they needed to see was American boys and girls going house to house from Basra to Baghdad and basically saying, which part of this sentence don't you understand?
You don't think we care about our open society?
You think this bubble fantasy, we're just going to let it grow?
Well, suck on this.
That, Charlie, was what this war was about.
We could have hit Saudi Arabia.
It was part of that bubble.
Could have hit Pakistan.
We hit Iraq because we could.
That guy still works for the New York Times, by the way.
That's it.
That's it.
We hit him.
Well, we hit a bunch of people who didn't attack us because, you know, they didn't have a nuclear weapon.
They didn't have a fucking nuclear weapon.
That's why they, Pakistan, nuclear fucking weapon.
That's why they fucking didn't.
And there we are.
And guess what?
Now we're going into Iran.
We're going into fucking Iran.
That's going to happen.
And it's going to be the same shit.
And guess what?
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are going to fucking go along with it.
All right.
And you think they're going to stand up to Trump and his war against Iran?
Do you really fucking think so?
Because CNN's going along with that.
Yes, I'm not.
You know, I thought it was funny when Thomas Friedman was saying suck on this.
Because I think Charlie Rose was also thinking suck on this.
Oh!
This thought, you know.
Here is Bernie Sanders wants to Congress to end U.S. support for the Yemen war.
New disclosures show that Saudi lobbyists are working behind the scenes to undermine any vote on authorization.
So the Saudi, that's who's really affecting our fucking country.
It's Saudi Arabia.
It's Israel.
You know who it's not?
Fucking Russia.
That's who's not affecting our fucking country.
Excuse me.
Because guess what, Chuck?
Chuck, guess what?
There you fucking go, Chuck.
You motherfuckers are going along with Trump in bombing Yemen and committing a fucking genocide.
And here are the fucking Democrats going along with it.
There are the Democrats, and here is MSNBC going along with it, too.
According to the new report from Farrett between July 2nd and March 20th, 2018, MSDNC didn't run a single fucking report on the genocidals.
Not one fucking report for a whole year from MSNBC.
And that's why when fucking Rand Paul goes on CNN, he's the only motherfucker standing up against the genocide in Yemen.
A cocksucker like Red Paul.
Well, what does that tell you?
Having him do it, it immediately discredits the very cause.
Yes.
So here he is talking with...
We'll never steer you wrong, all right?
Into law, he would presumably veto it.
At the very least, it begins the debate of whether or not we should be at war.
We are refueling the Saudi bombers, so we are essentially part of the bombing campaign.
We're helping them choose targets, and we are refueling the Saudi bombers that are dropping the bombs.
It is said that thousands of civilians have died in Yemen because of this.
Yes, we need to have a debate over this, and I don't know what the president will do, but he ought to come to Congress and ask for permission.
We've given him no authority to get involved in the civil war in Yemen.
And we have to ask the bigger question, is this making it better or worse?
Are there more refugees or less?
Oh, holy wait, hold on.
Sorry.
More chaos or less chaos with Saudi Arabia bombing into Yemen.
So yeah, it's a debate we ought to have, and no president should unilaterally have this authority without the approval of Congress.
So for you, this is a moral issue, because you know there's a lot of jobs at stake.
Certainly, if a lot of these defense comp.
That's fucking real.
I didn't make that up.
Hey, you can't stop killing Yemenis when it might mean killing jobs.
Am I right?
Okay.
Fucking jobs we're talking about.
Well, who are you going to listen to?
Someone like Rand Paul, who's a disgusting Kentucky Republican, or me, Chuck Schumer, a New York Democrat who's totally fine with gays.
Who are you going to listen to about war?
Now, come on.
You know, Wolf, he might not be the smartest guy in news reporting, but he does remain perfectly still when he's saying bullshit.
Am I right?
He's a very elegant man, that Wolf Gliss.
Without the approval of the Senate.
So, once weapons were manufactured to fight wars, now wars are manufactured to sell weapons.
And that's proof of that.
That's proof of that right there.
I saw this.
There's a bomb.
And where is that falling?
That's falling on Yemen.
That's a bomb falling on Yemen that we made here in the United States.
And then someone tweeted, Amazing Photo Says It All.
It's $100,000 American missile launched by a $20 million plane that flies at a cost of $6,000 per hour to kill people who live on less than a dollar a day.
And that's what the fuck we are doing in Yemen.
Yeah, right.
No more war.
No more fucking war.
No more fucking war.
No more.
No war.
No more fucking war.
And maybe, maybe we have to march on the houses of these motherfuckers who are becoming billionaires off of killing brown people in the fucking Middle East and Africa.
If you're going to fucking go on CNN, that's what you should fucking say.
And if I ever get on CNN, that's what I'll fucking say.
That's what I'll say.
And if I get on Chris Hayes' show, that's what I'll fucking say.
Oh boy, former Governor Mitt Romney's calling.
I hope he doesn't call me Jim Jiminy and say, hi-ho, everyone.
Hello.
Hi-ho, everyone.
Is this Jim Jiminy?
Yeah, yes, it is.
Is this Senate candidate Mitt Romney?
Correction, Jimmy Jam.
Arch conservative Mitt Romney now.
You see, I'm going to out Trump Trump with my new conservatism.
I'm going to take conservatism to a new height of obtuseness and lack of caring.
This is my commitment to the people of my non-home state of Utah.
Say, do you like spirit chairs, Jimmy?
No.
Oh, great.
Here's a real keen one.
Go, Utah.
U to the T to the Ah, Utah.
All my sons like that spirit chair.
Their names are Ben, Craig, Tag, Dig, Trog, and Tetris.
Guess what their nicknames are.
What's their nicknames?
Ben, Craig, Tag, Tig, Trog, and Tetris.
Pretty neat.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connop, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Semarano, and Mark Van Landowick.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
We'll see you March 30th in Burbank, California.
Until then, you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
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