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Jan. 14, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
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20170114_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_1-13-17
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy, previous.
This is Vladimir Putin.
Hey, Putin, you mean the Putin?
The president of Russian Federation.
How'd you get my number?
Please.
All right, of course.
Wow, Mr. Putin, how are you?
Good.
Very good.
Are you enjoying watching circus of Senate confirmation hearings?
Not really, I must admit, but thanks for asking.
I saw a circus once where Bear play backgammon.
Even Russian circus is better than American.
Are you watching over there in Moscow?
No, we are watching other shit show.
That of NATO amassing tanks along eastern Polish border.
Oh, right.
That's happening too.
Yeah, not good.
Not good.
Should I be worried?
Play your games, America.
Play your games.
Just know that we Russians are good at only three games.
Chess, Tetris, and international nuclear banksmanship.
So, needless to say, back then and playing circus better was Moldavian, not Russian.
Some say hacking elections is another game you guys are good at.
Jimmy, I don't know what you're talking about.
Your electoral college chose Trump fair and square.
You can't handle truth.
You blame Russia.
Song as old as time.
You know, Mr. Putin, a lot of people are saying that the reason Trump appears so pro-Russia and pro-Putin is that you have dirt on him and you're blackmailing him.
Is it so impossible that he just might like me for me?
Am I so bad guy?
You never think of this?
Besides, this rumor of what he did in Moscow Hotel Room is just rumor, of course.
Why would we leak this contramat to press if we wanted to blackmail him with it for four years?
Yeah, I guess you have a point.
Unless, of course, that was just tip of iceberg.
Yellow iceberg.
Oh, go on.
Imagine if there were other rumors.
Well, I guess we should know.
Maybe he on the video letting those prostitutes urinate on him.
Okay.
Maybe small dogs involved, too.
Oh, no.
Dogs urinate on him.
He urinates on dogs.
All in bed that he sleep in later.
Jesus.
Dogs dressed like small lady dancers with tutus, like from Russian ballet, but with small dogs.
I don't.
Maybe Kelly and Conway involved too on rumor video.
Please don't.
Being orally pleasured by Siberian Wolverine that had been starved for two weeks in cage.
Okay, okay, I'm going to hang up, okay?
While same time, she fillets severed penis of Rasputin.
Okay, good.
Goodbye, Mr. Putin.
And Donald Trump urinating on all of them.
Okay, I'm hanging up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
You know what KGB code name for this would be called?
No, tell me.
The aristocrats!
Oh, come on!
Got you, you fucker.
You really are a jerk.
But seriously, we have all that on tape and you will see it all eventually.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for.
The kind of people that are coming to me on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
It is a jam-packed one.
This is a great show.
I've been under the weather, and we're going to talk about that coming up.
I have some interesting things about the flu you probably don't know.
So we're going to talk about that.
What else are we going to talk about today?
Coming up, we're going to talk about Trump and the water sports stories that are going around.
More on the Russia hysteria in the mainstream news media and the culture in general.
We'll talk about media malpractice that's happening on the news all the time.
Rachel Maddow gets disappointed by actual journalism.
We're going to play that for you.
Not kidding.
Some news TV anchors, news, New Year resolutions.
We're going to examine those.
Jane Fonda, whoo, she goes to Canada and calls out Justin Trudeau.
We're going to talk about that.
Glenn Greenwald teaches journalism 101 to CNN live on the air.
And Governor Cuomo shafts the poor.
That's coming up on today's show.
Plus, we got phone calls from Barack Obama's going to call in.
Plus, offended listener calls in today.
Everyone's favorite.
Why don't we the next live Jimmy Dore show is coming up soon, January 30th, January 30th.
It's a Monday live Jimmy Dore show in Burbank at the Flappers Comedy Club.
There's a link for tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Tickets, very affordable.
Go get a ticket at jimmydoorcomedy.com, January 30th.
That's a Monday.
It's a live Jimmy Door show.
And if you've heard, you heard, you've heard the video.
I mean, you've heard the audio from those shows.
Maybe you've watched a video of those shows at our YouTube.
Those shows are a knockdown, fun time.
Laughs all around and lots of great stories.
So it's always great to meet the listeners.
So January 30th, check it out.
Live Jimmy Dore show.
Okay, we got a lot coming up in today's show.
So let's get right to it.
Everybody, I'm here with the miserable liberal.
And, you know, I've been sick with the flu.
We're going to talk about that later.
It's an MF of a flu.
I don't know if you've ever gotten it.
So I was home on New Year's Eve.
I was watching that CNN coverage of the New Year's CNN coverage of New Year's Eve.
It was Anderson Cooper with Kathy Griffin, which Kathy Griffin is very funny.
She makes me laugh very hard.
I love Kathy Griffin.
And Anderson Cooper, who I like as a person, not a big fan as a journalist.
I like when he wears t-shirts.
If there's a, I wish there was an earthquake in Haiti all the time because he, oof, he goes down there.
Anyway.
I do like my journalist dashing.
I do like my journey.
Well, here's the thing.
She asks him.
Here's the question.
She asked him what his New Year's resolutions is.
And get through the list.
Now, what are your resolutions?
You know, I don't have, I don't make resistance.
I stopped making resolutions when you kept telling me how boring all my resolutions were.
Your resolutions are so boring.
It's unbelievable.
Can you make some up?
I mean, no, because they're all just boring.
Because I know it's hit the gym more, right?
Yes.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Are you really serious?
I know.
I want to get in better shape and like healthier.
Hey, no, I want to get in short.
No, I'll tell you for a second.
I got distracted.
I thought Curtis Guardian Angels was over there.
All right, what's another resolution?
Beyond that, I really so Anderson Cooper's New Year's resolution is to hit the gym.
And you're probably thinking, as I was, yeah, whatever.
He wants to hit the gym more.
It's kind of obnoxious.
I know he's probably got abs.
Does the newsman really need abs?
I don't, you know, my theory is I don't think Ryan Gosling even needs to have abs.
Why?
Why does Ryan Gosling need to have abs?
By the time he takes his shirt off, anyway.
So Kathy goes on to make a good point.
Here, let's just, I guess I'll just play because he said, I want to go to the gym more.
And what does she say?
Okay.
I don't.
Ladies and gentlemen, put down whatever you're doing and make a note of one thing, if nothing else.
Try to be a better person.
Anderson Cooper's entire resolution of this.
I'm trying to be a better person.
Go to the gym more and be in better shape.
Because, by the way, when you're a journalist, that's what counts.
Way to go, Kathy.
Because when you're a journalist, that's what counts.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, did you see that reporting Anderson Cooper did?
Yeah, he's really in shape.
That was a great report.
Of course, it wasn't anything to do with journalism.
The state of journalism couldn't suck harder, especially at CNN.
And he doesn't go, yeah, you know, well, I'm going to try and live up to the standards Moro started.
And he said, I'm really going to try and bring journalism back to the people.
Even though I work for a huge corporation, I'm going to nothing about journalism or the truth or say, it's like, I want to get more in shit because he's a fucking celebrity.
He's a news.
It's not a journalist.
And I like Anderson Cooper, but you know, he's not shittier than any of the TV news guys.
They're just all worthless.
Pretty much worthless.
And this is what he's great at, by the way.
Him and Kathy have a great thing.
So he should do more.
Didn't he have a talk show?
Didn't Anderson Cooper have actually have his own daytime talk show?
I missed it if he did.
I think he got it.
Check it out.
I'm pretty sure he did.
So, yeah.
So there you go.
Their lead journalist over at CNN.
What's your New Year's resolution?
Work out.
You know, get more buff because everyone be a better person.
How about be a better fucking journalist?
How about break a story?
How about break a story?
How about you want to break a story?
Yeah, I want to break a story this year.
You know, we haven't done it ever.
So I'm thinking maybe this would be the time.
That's my New Year's resolution.
I'm Anderson Cooper.
I want to break a story.
Anyway, that's great.
But Kathy has a little bit more to say.
That's asked Ben Weierman.
He's going to hit the gym more with his seven languages.
I mean, you've got to just come to the platform with something.
You got to help you.
You're going to help the children.
He didn't even have that on the tip of his tongue.
No.
He even had, oh, I want to do more charity work, help people.
You know, I'm filthy rich.
I have a huge celebrity.
I already have abs.
So maybe I think outward about service.
Hey, I don't even have New Year's resolutions, but I'm just saying.
Kathy Griffin was on it, caught him.
And then who's, I don't know who she referenced to.
It must be another journalist who has, who speaks seven languages.
It's like, oh, yeah, I bet he wants to spend more time in the gym.
I loved it.
By the way, Anderson Cooper, he had two seasons of his talk show and then it was canceled by 2013.
He did do a daytime talk.
Yes, he did.
And it was just like a regular chat show.
It wasn't an investigative, issue-orientated.
It was like an Ellen DeGeneres bullshit, fluff fucking talk show.
And you know, he worked out.
Yo, of course.
To make sure he had the tip top for that show.
And they talked about, you know, they did recipes and stuff like that on that show.
Way to go.
I'm just saying, I thought that was very revealing.
And I don't think I'm reading too much either of that.
I think that's pretty par for the course.
Way to go, Ceiling.
So I didn't do, I was sick.
I had the flu.
I'm still sick.
I'm not all the way better.
This is the worst flu I ever had in my life, I think.
And usually I thought I get the flu.
I'm sick for three days, four days, five tops, and I'm back.
I smoke a little weed during it.
I feel better.
I haven't smoked weed for 14 days.
I have no urge.
This flu knocked the urge to smoke weed out of me.
That is a flu.
And so I started to look up stuff about the flu.
And it turns out they just, they did a big study, and I found this.
It was in the Telegraph.
Turns out adults only get the flu twice a decade.
Huh?
What?
What are you talking about?
Well, they said they did this study, and they say children catch the flu every two years, but infections become rarer as they enter adulthood.
Is that a word rarer?
I thought it was more rare.
I know rarest.
You don't stop till your good is better and your better is best.
But rare, anyway.
And by the age 30, they get it just twice a decade.
Right?
So this is from the Imperial College London study, found flu-like illnesses can be caused by many pathogens, making it difficult to assess how often people are infected.
But by analyzing blood samples from volunteers in southern China for antibody levels against nine different influenza strains that circulated from 1968 to 2009, the researchers were able to put a time scale on infections.
This is mind-blowing.
Dr. Anam Kucharski said, here's a lot of debate.
Here's a lot of it.
There's a lot of debate in the field as to how often people get the flu, as opposed to flu-like illnesses caused by some else.
These symptoms could sometimes be caused by common cold viruses such as rhinovirus or coronavirus.
Also, some people might not realize they had the flu.
What?
But the infection will show up when a blood sample is subsequently tested.
Huh?
This is the first time anyone has reconstructed a group's history of infection from modern-day blood samples.
The study involving scientists from the UK, the United States, and China published in PLOS Biology also developed a mathematical model of how immunity to flu changes over a lifetime as different strains of the virus are encountered.
The model supported evidence from other studies that the strains of influenza virus we encounter earlier in life evoke a stronger immune response than those we meet later in life.
So if you get the flu younger, your body builds up a stronger immunity to those viruses than if you get the flu when you're older.
Isn't that something?
But Dr. Kacharski said, what we've done in this study is to analyze how a person's immunity builds up over a lifetime of flu infections.
The information helps us understand the susceptibility of the population as a whole and how easy it is for new seasonal strains to spread through the population.
Now, so when I keep saying that this is the worst flu I ever had, because it's freaking going on 14 days and I'm still sick.
It's because maybe all those other times I thought I had the flu, I really didn't.
And I was just had like a bad cold and I was just sick for like three to five days.
So that's what it must be.
And this is my first flu of the decade.
I remember being sick like this with the flu.
So that's super interesting to me.
I don't know if it is to you.
Isn't that fascinating kind of?
Yeah, because you had this flu too.
Yeah, I had the flu and I think I got over it, what, in 10 days?
I feel almost 100%.
That's really how I feel right now.
You do feel 100%?
Okay, 98.
Okay.
I'm about 74%.
If that, if that, actually.
I'm not even that.
My head feels like a bowling ball right now, and I got to go lay down as soon as I'm done with this story.
Adults get the flu two times a decade.
You've heard the PP story about Donnie Tynehants.
Right?
Donny Tynehans denies the PP story.
They're saying that Donald Trump can be compromised, that and they got the secret on him.
And BuzzFeed ran this story that he'd like to do the PP on the bed and that that's why he's being so nice to Russia because they're going to blackmail him.
Let me tell you something.
There's nothing worse that Donald Trump could have done that he hasn't fucking done in his campaign.
What else could you he lied about Muslims?
He said he wants to ban all that.
He said they cheered as they watched the thing.
Never happened.
He called all his opponents ugly, women, Carly Fiorina, ugly.
He grabbed them by the everything he said Mexicans are rape.
We're going to you're going to blackmail that guy with something?
Anyway, because something he does with his pee-pee?
Come on.
Come on.
I've been in hotel rooms whitewashed with Bill Clinton's jizz.
Don't worry about it.
Okay.
Are you kidding me?
There's still rooms in the White House covered with Bill Clinton's DNA.
So is it true?
I mean, the CIA, I mean, they say it's true.
Everyone's saying it.
CIA said it.
CIA.
So I'm watching the MSNBCs with the Rachel Madhouses.
And she makes $30,000 a day, just so you know.
That's more than most people make in a year.
Just so you know, why it's real easy for her to be a neoliberal, shit on a progressive, and repeat propaganda.
30 grand a day.
I'll say whatever you want.
Give it to me.
I'll pretend that Bernie is a pie-in-the-sky guy because he wants to bring our country into the 21st, 20th century.
I'll say that Bernie's crazy because he thinks we can have the health care that Canada has.
Anyway, so I'm watching the Rachel Madhouses, and she has on Engel, Richard Engel, and he's an actual journalist, right?
He actually goes to places like all the major news networks, and nobody has anybody in Syria.
Their foreign correspondents are in London, okay?
So, but this guy's the real deal.
He's a real reporter.
And so, Rachel has him on to talk about the big thing.
Oh, this big drop, this big blowout intelligence about Trump being blackmailed.
Now, he actually talks like a real reporter should talk.
I'm going to play it all the way through.
And the interesting thing is that this is not how any of the other reporters are talking about it.
And then, when an actual reporter talks about it, Rachel Maddow just ignores it, in a sense.
Here we go.
Good to talk to you.
Might be the story of the century.
Might be, we don't know.
It is very, very strange.
And this has been bouncing around for several months now.
There have been a lot of allegations.
I would even call them rumors at this stage that the Russians put together a file on Donald Trump, compromising material, compromising him financially, compromising him personally.
Stuff that he did that was bad that they had documentation of.
That they caught him on trips to Russia and neighboring states doing nefarious things, and that they have evidence to back it up, and that he effectively fell victim to a Russian trap.
This is the allegation.
And that they have assembled this.
I know, because we keep repeating it.
Yeah.
Right.
You know.
Doesn't have to have facts.
We'll just say it.
This file of compromising information on him and that they're just waiting at any moment to either use it or use it to blackmail him so that he is sort of a puppet.
I've heard these allegations for a long time.
I've heard very, very specific allegations, times, places, amounts of money, specific activities.
I haven't been able to prove any of it.
You've been saying that story despite the fact that I've called people in Russia.
I've called leading experts.
I've tried to chase it down in this country.
And I'm not the only one.
Other reporters have been given this kind of material and have been looking into it and haven't been able to prove it.
And I called some of the sources who were sending this my way and I said, okay, you have this material.
You say it's as compromising as it is.
Show me the proof.
Show me these tapes that supposedly exist.
Show me the records of the money that was supposedly paid.
All of these things that these allegations that, if true, would be incredibly compromising.
So far, I haven't been able to find anything.
So why is this coming out now?
What?
What do you mean?
So why would it come out now?
There we go.
Interesting thing.
There are lots of rumors.
These rumors have been circulating for months now.
Why would the intelligence community then today boil it down to two pages and drop it like a bomb on President-elect Trump, on many senior leaders in Washington, and on the president himself's lap?
Why do it right now?
And that's the question.
I was told by a senior intelligence source that the reason they did it is the intelligence community is angry.
The intelligence community effectively wants to put him on notice saying, look, you're saying all these things about Russia.
Be careful.
There are all these allegations out there.
Are any of them true?
And I was told, quote.
So the intelligence agencies are going to show Donny Tynehance.
They're going to give him a little tape, buddy.
We'll smear you too.
So that's what this is.
That they're sending a message to Donny Tynehan.
That's what he thinks.
He sounds smarter about this than anybody I've heard talk about it.
We can't help you, Mr. Trump, unless you tell us more.
We need more input.
These allegations are out there.
We need to know if we need to be taking care of this.
And lastly, that there was a concern that these allegations, just in themselves, could become a distraction and make it difficult for him to govern.
Well, yeah, it does.
I mean, you don't have to, it doesn't have to be true for you to blackmail somebody with it, right?
I mean, I guess I would treat them at this stage with a lot of caution.
NBC News Chief Foreign Correspondent Richard Engel.
Richard, thank you for.
And that's it.
And that's it.
Like racism and go, oh my God.
So you've been trying to corroborate this.
Cooperate.
You've been trying to cooperate this, and you're a real reporter, and you can't cooperate it.
She didn't go, really?
Why is everybody running with this story?
This is the story.
Do you see how much time they spend on it?
About five seconds.
And she's like, okay, well, it doesn't have to be true to blackmail you.
Thanks for coming on.
You mother, are you?
This is hilarious how much millionaire reporters are revealing their cravenness, their inattention to journalism.
He's actually doing it.
She's like, ah, it doesn't have to be true to blackmail you.
Okay.
So you're telling me that you can't corroborate, cooperate?
You're telling me that?
How come everybody else is repeating propaganda?
You wonder why people don't trust the news.
And by the way, this kind of bullshit, this helps Donald Trump.
So there you go.
Wow.
They had a guy on actually doing journalism, telling the truth like a journalist should.
And boy, did it fly under the radar.
And we had to.
I wonder what the producer was saying in her ear.
This isn't good.
Wrap it up.
Say that.
It doesn't matter if it's true or not.
Go say something like that.
Go get wrap it up.
What do you think they were saying?
And she couldn't get it that over with.
She couldn't be less.
What is that?
What's that term?
Non-plussed.
She seemed very non-plussed by the whole thing.
Yeah, well, it doesn't have to be true to blackmail you, right?
Thank you Peter.
Thanks for coming on and, you know, undermining every bullshit thing we say here all day.
Thanks, buddy.
Bye.
Hello.
James Doerr, No Drama Obama Pet Ma Lama, friend of Big Pharma here.
Mr. President, thanks for calling.
Just wanted to say goodbye to you and all your listeners before I start loading up the moving van with surveillance equipment and junk like that.
Before you go, I wondered if you care to comment on the latest allegations in all the intelligence dossier that the Russians have video of Donald Trump paying hookers to urinate on each other at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Moscow.
I'd rather talk about my legacy, Jimmy.
As you know, Tuesday I gave a stirring farewell speech calling for unity and understanding.
While disturbing the salacious aspect of this last story is largely unverified and based on anonymous claims, I'll leave it up to history and the good judgment of the American people to decide for themselves the veracity of the charges.
So no comment on the PP story that's been dominating the news?
No.
All right, fair enough.
Let's talk about your legacy then.
I mean, I have a list right here.
Record whistleblower prosecutions, illegal drone assassinations, the unraveling and destruction of Libya.
I mean, I don't want to rain on the guy's parade.
Know what I mean?
Expanding the Afghanistan war three times.
Whatever happens, I'm confident Mr. Trump will be able to fully discharge his duties.
Last year, you dropped over 26,000 bombs.
Again, none of what's in that CIA dossier has been proven.
So far, it's just another example of fake spews.
You never prosecuted one banker for destroying the economy in 2008.
Basically, there's no evidence proving Donald Trump paid hookers to urinate on each other.
So the story won't hold water.
You deported more people than any previous president.
As for all the piss jokes, I just don't understand that kind of thing, Jimmy.
I suppose some people feel they have to go with the flow.
You haven't closed Guantanamo.
But I want to tell you, Trump can keep his tax returns.
I really don't want him releasing anything.
Follow me?
You're backing extremist terrorists in Syria.
I just wish everybody would zip it with all the Trump jokes.
Oh, sure.
Well, a lot of his appointees have no government experience, but there's nothing wrong with being wet behind the ears.
You didn't fight for single payer.
I mean, who knows?
Maybe Donald will win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Keys Prize.
You opened up the Gulf of Mexico to BP again.
You didn't fight against fracking.
You people are relentless.
I just don't think there's any way Trump can shake the story off.
The details just keep trickling in.
This is the worst week ever.
Endless militarism and expanding the war on terror.
I could go on and on.
He likes getting pissed on, Jimmy.
Have I done a Euretha Franklin joke yet?
No.
Guess who's going to sing at his inaugural address?
Goodbye, Barack.
Say hello to your fine woman for me.
See you later.
Hope you're enjoying this week's show.
I had a flu.
I still did the show.
I want a little credit.
All right.
Well, I'm going to give credit right now to everybody who thinks about the Jimmy Doer show when they buy something from Amazon.com.
You know, we don't encourage anybody to buy anything on Amazon, but we're saying if you're going to shop on Amazon anyway, we say have some of that money.
Go to a good progressive cause like the Jimmy Door show.
So next time you're thinking of buying something from Amazon, swing by JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Click on the Amazon box.
It's right on the front page.
When you click on it, that'll take you to Amazon.com and then you just shop normally.
You don't have to do anything.
Somehow the Amazon thing knows what you buy and then it sends us some money.
And that's a great way to help.
So you doesn't change the way you shop and it doesn't cost you anything.
So thanks everybody who does that.
Right now, we've got a lot of great stuff coming up in the second half.
Offended listener calls in in the second half.
Isn't that fantastic?
It is fantastic.
All right.
So that's coming up right now.
And I had one more thing I wanted to say.
It's slipping my mind.
I'm sure I'll think of it.
Oh, that's right.
Go over to our Facebook page or my Twitter feed, and we have another nice mention in the Washington Post for the Jimmy Doer show.
Isn't that nice?
Our good friend Dave Weigel, friend of the show, Dave Weigel.
Yes.
And He did a great article about how the left is pissed off and sick and tired of the red baiting and all the talk about the Russia stuff.
And they talked about how we covered it.
I mean, here at the Young Turks and the Jimmy Door show, how we differed.
And then they linked to two of our videos.
Isn't that nice?
We got the link to two videos in the Washington Post.
So that's fantastic.
I'm thrilled.
I know we make fun of the Washington Post, but it's still really nice.
Okay, now let's get back to the second half of this week's show.
They've been releasing the intelligence agencies have been releasing their reports to convince us that Russia, we should be upset at Russia because they hacked our election.
The United States tapped Angela Merkel's phone.
She's our ally.
We do this shit all the time.
Okay?
And don't think we're not hacking Russia all the time, also.
James Clapper revealed this is what intelligence agencies do.
And what people are really upset about is that, oh my God, Russia got access to John Podesta's emails and then they ran around spreading the truth.
So they put out this report.
This is the first one they put up.
It's the joint analysis report from the NCCIC and the FBI.
Now, the first thing I want you to notice is that there's a disclaimer that comes with their intelligence report.
There's a disclaimer.
Do you want to know what that disclaimer says?
That disclaimer says, this report is provided as is for informational purposes only.
The Department of Homeland Security does not provide any warranties of any kind regarding any information contained.
I don't know.
I think I want some warranties when it comes from Homeland Security.
So the own intelligence agencies are saying, hey, Eva, we're not going to, the shit we're saying, even I'm not going to say it.
We're not even standing by it.
They're not even standing by it.
And every stupid jagoff journalist and Democratic hack in the country is screaming about this.
Here's then they released another one just on January 6th called the Assessing Russian Activities and Intentions in Recent U.S. elections.
The intelligence community assessment.
Background to assessing Russian activities and intentions in recent U.S. elections.
The analytic process and cyber incident attributes.
So that's the one that came out on the 6th.
So let's look into there.
Indeed, the report, like the Grizzly Step effort, includes an unusual disclaimer.
So the disclaimer, I just told this new one also came with a disclaimer, except they put it in the appendix.
And the disclaimer they put in the appendix was: estimative language, and there's quotes, estimative language, that judgments are not intended to imply that we have proof that shows something to be fact.
Just quit reading right there.
This is hilarious.
So I went to a CIA guy who writes for the American Conservative, Philip Giraldi, and he was an ex-CIA guy.
So do I believe him?
You say I'm supposed to believe the CIA now, right?
Well, he's a CIA guy.
I'm supposed to believe him, right?
Well, here's what he says.
No smoking gun on Russia hack.
Language Jews in the intelligence community's latest report suggest that they may not possess a disputed lebanon.
Suggests, yes, it does suggest.
So the latest attempt to nail perfidious Moscow is, to my mind, yet another mismash of soft facts combined with plenty of opinion and maybe even a bit of good old Cold War style politics.
That's quite a stew.
A lot of sometimes wild speculation and judgments based on fragmentary information taken together are not a good basis for determining foreign policy.
It's what got us into the Iraq war, killing hundreds of thousands, if not millions, setting the Middle East on fire.
It's what got us into Libya, that got us into the first Gulf War, got us into Vietnam.
Bullshit.
Taken together, they are not a good basis for determining foreign policy.
Yes, wild speculation and judgments based on fragmentary information taken together are not a good basis for determining foreign policy, particularly if one is dealing with a powerful foreign state that is heavily armed with nuclear weapons and ballistic missile delivery systems.
So those reports that everyone's screaming about how great they were, they're bullshit.
They come with disclaimers that the people putting them out are saying, hey, this is, we're not, we're not vouching for this.
We're not going to vouch for our own report.
Okay.
Just so you know.
But I'm going to give it to all the knuckleheads at CNN and MSNBC, and they're going to go with it.
And the New York Times and John Harwood and Kurt Eichenfuck, all the morons.
So I'm watching the CNN because they had on our friend of the show, Glenn Greenwald.
That's still, I don't know if you could tell how nervous I was the whole time I was talking to him.
Whenever I admire people, I just know I'm going to reveal how dumb I am at some point.
So anyway, he was on with the guy from Reliable Sources, Brian Stelter.
I said his name right, right?
Correct.
Brian Setzer is a different guy.
That's the straight cat.
And if you remember, who used to host the Reliable Sources before, I love telling this joke because it's true.
It's hosted by a guy named Howard Kurtz.
He had to leave reliable sources because he filed one too many stories that were unreliable.
So what I like is that he's the media critic, Brian Steltzer.
Stelter.
Stelter.
I'm going to call him Brian Seltzer because that's easier to say.
Yes.
So Glenn's on to talk about all this Russia propaganda that's been spewing in the mainstream news media, left and right, fake news.
And here is Glenn, Reliable Sources, challenges him to make his case.
Listen to this.
Tweets, because this is something we've seen all week long.
Trump deflecting, downplaying the importance of Russian meddling.
And that's where you come in, because you've been outspoken on this, saying that journalists should be very skeptical of the U.S. government claims.
Lay out your case for us.
First of all, I love the fact that he goes, now you've been very outspoken on this, saying journalists had verified their claims.
Like, what the?
That's Journalism 101.
Now, you've been very outspoken about Journalism 101.
He acts like Glenn's from some other union.
Now, you have a different idea on how to do this journalism.
What is it?
You have to verify stuff?
You mean you just don't run to press to the microphone with rumor concocted inside the CIA?
This is amazing, right?
That's kind of amazing that he's asking.
I want to play that again.
of russian meddling and that's where you come in because you've been outspoken on this saying that journalists should be very skeptical of the u.s government claims that's where you come in he says a guy who works for a news organization he says that's where you come in and you say now let me get this straight glenn you say that journalists should be skeptical of the government will push me over with a feather this is what that's what he just said this is hilarious
and by the way i don't think brian uh stretzeltzer is a bad guy i just think that nobody in news journalism on television does their job they work for corporations that's all okay here we go lay out your case for us so i think everybody would agree that it's certainly plausible that this is something that russia might have done um i certainly wouldn't put it past them it wouldn't shock me if it turns out that they did this is the sort of thing russia and the u.s have done to other countries and to one another for
many decades including over the last 10 years so nobody would say russia didn't do it or that it would be shocking if they did but there's a lesson a really critical lesson that i thought we had learned back in august 1964 when the u.s senate stood up and authorized lyndon johnson to escalate the war in vietnam with two dissenting votes based on the intelligence community's claims about what happened in the gulf of tonkin that turned out to be totally false and the same lesson in 2002 when a group of bipartisan senators assured the nation that the intelligence community convinced
that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and was in an alliance with Al Qaeda.
And the same lesson we learned in 2013 when just months before the Snowden reporting, James Clapper, President Obama's top national security official, lied to the faces of the country when he said that he wants to assure everybody that the NSA doesn't collect data on millions of Americans.
And that is, we don't just blindly and uncritically accept the claims of the intelligence community, especially provocative claims about a foreign adversary, without seeing convincing evidence presented by them that those claims are true.
And we absolutely have not seen that in this case.
Well, well, says you.
Wow.
So let me get this.
When your journalist should be, what is that, skeptical?
Is that with an SK?
Skeptical?
I'm going to have to call Wolf Blitzer on this.
Wolf, are we skeptical of the government?
How does this work?
Has the CIA ever lied before?
Uh-huh.
All the time, right?
Uh-huh.
64, right?
Uh-huh, I heard that.
Uh-huh.
All right.
The babies being in the first Gulf War, the babies being thrown on the floor, that was all made up.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
What about the torture thing?
They did the torture?
Hang on.
Hang on.
We'll be right back.
What the F?
Wolf, why doesn't anyone tell me this?
What?
Like, this guy's shocked.
You don't know any of that?
You don't know that just a few years ago, the torture report that the Senate put years into compiling, and the CIA then spied on the people who were overseeing the CIA.
Oh, that happened.
And the torture report, which Barack Obama has sealed, so we can't see it, meaning we can't learn the mistakes we made torturing people with the CIA.
CIA anal raped innocent people.
CIA.
Anal force feedings.
Do I need to keep saying anal?
That's what they do.
That's what they did.
They're lying war criminals.
That's why they're the CIA.
They invented Al-Qaeda.
They invented ISIS.
They're training and arming al-Nusra.
Son of a...
And Glenn, we have to get an outside...
We have to go outside the building to get somebody to come on CNN.
to tell us how journalism works we have to go outside the company we can you get some who knows how uh you're supposed to do a story greenwald okay get that they already outsourced their fact checking to factcheck.org CNN's now fact checking they had to go to a website how do we fact check is there an app how do we do that we're a news organization do we do fact checking you wonder
we get involved in wars.
You wonder why we live in the richest country in the world and half the people who live in it are poor.
You wonder why?
Because this is our fourth estate.
They had to bring in somebody to come and tell them, Journalism 101, hey, you know those guys who lie us into wars continuously, commit war crimes, spy on our own government?
You know those people?
We should be skeptical of them.
There was big news a couple days ago about how Governor, I want to call him Mario Cuomo, but it's Andrew Cuomo.
He's the bad Cuomo.
He's the governor of New York and he signed this big bill that's going to give free college tuition in New York State.
Isn't it amazing?
That guy's so crazy.
I mean, I know he did it, but somebody better tell him you can't do that.
I hope Hillary Clinton runs down here to tell everybody you can't do that.
And why did they tout that?
Because they were covering up this story.
Cuomo vetoes bill that would have required states to fund legal services for the poor.
He vetoed it.
Is he a Republican?
Well, let's find out.
How bad is it?
Says Governor Cuomo vetoed a bill late Saturday that would have required the state to fund legal services for the poor in each county.
The bill, which had support from progressive and conservative groups, which had support from progressive and conservative groups, progressive and conservative groups came together to try to do something for the poorest people in the state.
We are all shocked that the governor vetoed a bill that would have reduced racial disparities in the criminal justice system, helped ensure equal access to justice for all New Yorkers, provided improved public defense programs for those who cannot afford an attorney, and much-needed mandate relief for counties.
The governor refused to accept accept an independent oversight mechanism on state quality standards and now sadly tens of thousands of low-income defendants will pay the price that's your good democrat ugh conservatives and progressives came together would have given the state seven years to take over complete funding of indigent legal services from towns.
Dozens of groups representing public defenders, municipalities, and others expressed disappointment.
Jonathan Grades, executive director of the New York State Defenders Association, called Cuomo's decision to veto the bill stunning.
So here he is fucking over poor people as hard as he can fuck over poor people and barely a peep about it in the press.
The legislation passed during the 2016 legislative session after a settlement in 2015 of a case brought by the New York Civil Liberties Union that claimed a lack of funding is depriving the poor of effective criminal defense representation.
We are deeply disappointed that the governor has vetoed the most important criminal justice reform legislation in memory.
That's a Democrat doing that.
Do you wonder why the Democrats are goddamn worthless?
That's a Democrat screwing over the poor as hard as he can.
He has rejected a groundbreaking and bipartisan fix to our deeply flawed public defense system and left in place the status quo in which the state violates the rights of New Yorkers every day and delivers unequal justice.
Well, the thing that I like about it is that Barack Obama screamed about this because, you know, he's an African-American and that's your Democrat.
There's your Democrat.
And they're talking about 2020.
He's going to run it 2020.
Boo.
So way to go.
Way to go, Andrew Cuomo.
Today's jag off to the poor.
I like Jane Fonda.
I think, is it okay to say she's gorgeous?
Is that not, is that not, I know Steve Martin got in trouble because he said something nice about Carrie Fisher.
Anyway, Jane Fonda, what have you?
You know, her heart's in the right place often.
She was a little too enamored of the Democratic National Convention, if you ask me.
She was at a press conference in Edmonton, and she was there to speak on behalf of the Indigenous people because they're still doing the pipelines.
And Trudeau, who's our liberal, supposed to be super liberal.
Everybody was excited when he got in.
He knows all the right words to say, just like Barack Obama, and they know all the right words to say.
And then they go ahead and they neoliberal the shit out of it.
So she's up there to speak because of the pipelines and the way they're screwing over the Indigenous people.
Listen to what she had to say.
And you tell me if you've heard it somewhere before.
You know, the reason that I wanted to come here as quickly as I could, when I heard that your prime minister, the shining hope at the Paris climate talks, you know, who talks so beautifully about needing to meet the requirements of the climate treaty.
He speaks so beautifully.
Just like who?
Barack Obama speaks, knows all the right words to say about climate change when he spoke at the Paris Climate Summit.
Wow, he spoke so elegant.
Respect and hold to the treaties with the Indigenous people and so forth.
And, you know, such a heroic stance he took there.
And yet he has betrayed every one of the things that he committed to in Paris.
I guess the lesson is that we shouldn't be fooled by good-looking liberals, no matter how well-spoken they are.
Wow.
Oh, so it's the liberal turning his back on everything he said at the Paris Climate Summit.
Isn't that something?
You think that was something that Donna Tynehans would do.
Turns out it's the liberal pretty good-looking guy, no matter how good-looking they are.
What a disappointment.
You know, Trump is no surprise.
This is all going to be really good after what you've had up here for a while.
What a disappointment.
Wow.
That was so good.
I want to hear it again.
You know, the reason that I wanted to come here as quickly as I could, when I heard that your prime minister, the shining hope at the Paris climate talks, you know, who talks so beautifully about needing to meet the requirements of the climate treaty and respect and hold to the treaties with the Indigenous people and so forth.
And, you know, such a, such a heroic stance he took there.
And yet he has betrayed every one of the things that he committed to in Paris.
I guess the lesson is that we shouldn't be fooled by good-looking liberals, no matter how well-spoken they are.
What a disappointment.
You know, Trump is no surprise.
We know what's, but Trudeau, you know, we all thought, wow, cruel guy, right?
This is all going to be really good after what you've had up here for a while.
What a disappointment.
Now you know how I feel, Jane.
Now you know how any progressive feels who's been paying attention the last eight years feels.
Because I don't know how close attention Jane has been paying to the Barack Obama administration, although she's on it with Dapple.
She went and took her money out of Wells Fargo because they're supporting it.
So good for Jane.
She come.
Guess we shouldn't listen to the, no matter how well-spoken they are.
Yes.
I love how she said, you know, Donald Trump, we know what we're getting with Donald Trump, but these good-looking, well-spoken liberals puts everybody to sleep.
Wall Street, the military-industrial complex, big oil, they could not have a better spokesperson than Barack Obama because he says all the right things and makes everybody, puts everybody to sleep.
Donnie Tynehan's, everybody's ready for a fight and they're scrutinizing.
This guy, Jane just said everything he said in Paris, he's betrayed.
So climate change, huh?
Hmm.
Turns out the liberals aren't committed to it either.
Hillary Clinton wanted to frack the shit out of the world.
Barack Obama opened up the Arctic to drilling.
Then he closed it right before he left.
Remember, it was all the above?
We're going to do all the oil drilling we can do.
So good for Jane.
Yeah.
I'll take a wolf in wolf's clothing any day over a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Yes.
Hi.
This is offended listener.
I just wanted to say that your little skit or whatever last week with Harrison Ford talking about Carrie Fisher was so offensive that you should drink acid and die.
She was like a national treasure, okay?
And yes, she publicly said all the things you mentioned in your thing, but for you to talk about it in a humorous manner was just, oh, oh my goddess, it made me want to eat dairy, okay?
And I haven't done that in six years.
That's how upset I was.
I almost had a big old slice of cheese like some sort of savage.
I mean, it was just so tone deaf.
And in saying that, I mean, no offense to hearing impaired Americans who might be reading the transcript of this podcast.
I mean, she just died a week ago, and she was Vincent Leia and other things.
And you just act like, oh, my goddess.
Oh, my goddess.
And even if you weren't making fun of that poor woman, I can't believe you would glorify Harrison Ford having intercourse with people because that is normalizing oppression right there, okay?
I mean, just hearing that man saying he's had consensual sex with another adult made me feel like I was being raped.
And I would have called you to complain sooner, but I was so traumatized I've been in my safe space since I heard your audio holocaust.
So now I've got to go because I have to clean my feces out of my safe space.
Okay, goodbye.
So in case you weren't sure that you should be not listening to your mainstream news media in any form, and if you should be skeptical of this Russia scare, the big red scare, if you should be skeptical of the propaganda being spewed 24-7 about Russia, Russia, Russia, and everybody's saying, well, we have certainty.
Our 17 intelligence agencies, what are those as this Coast Guard, by the way?
Which we know are liars.
And here's a great example.
This is the church hearings.
This was from 1970 something.
Let me see here.
I'll get that date for you.
40 years ago.
Yeah.
It's 1976, 77.
The church hearings.
What was it about, Steph?
They called the CIA Director William Colby to testify in revelations that intelligent agencies had engaged in controversial, covert actions against foreign leaders and U.S. citizens.
So they're having hearings because it's come to their attention that the CIA was doing some nefarious shit against our own citizens, spying on our own citizens.
So you know not to listen to any goddamn thing they say.
Remember when Colin Powell got up in front of the UN and he made his case for Iraq?
These aren't assertions.
These are facts.
He was lying.
He was lying.
The whole goddamn government lied.
Your president lied.
Your vice president, your secretary of defense, your secretary of state.
They all lied to get us into Iraq on purpose.
And half the Democrats went along with it.
So here is, here's a little report from C-SPEN.
Check this out.
The senators seemed unimpressed.
Perhaps it was because they already knew too much.
Each senator arriving with a fat orange-colored notebook crammed with classified material about the CIA, all marked top secret.
After five months of closed-door investigation, of talking in private with intelligence agents and officials, most of the senators now agree with Chairman Frank Church that the CIA has indeed been a rogue elephant out of control.
Oh, the CIA was a rogue elephant.
This is happening all the time.
This is the kind of stuff that news people should be reminding you of.
Instead, they're doing the exact opposite.
You turn on CNN, you read the goddamn New York Times, which is a waste.
Just so you know about the New York Times, they fired the guy who got the Iraq war right, Christopher Hedges.
They fired him for telling the truth about the Iraq war.
They fired him.
A Pulitzer Prize-winning war correspondent, they fired him for telling the truth about the Iraq war.
Judith Miller got promoted to on-air talent at Fox News.
Phil Donahue got fired for telling the truth about the Iraq war by MSNBC.
Fired for telling the truth.
Brian Williams brought on generals who were paid to lie about the Iraq war.
He never told you they were being paid by defense contractors.
The guy who did tell you that Brian Williams' guests were being paid by defense contrasts won a Pulitzer Prize for it.
Brian Williams still never told you that.
And let's remember, all through the Iraq war, Brian Williams and everybody at NBC and MSNBC worked for General Electric, which is a goddamn defense contractor.
And my question is, how many checks do you take from a defense contractor in the middle of an illegal war before you stop calling yourself a journalist?
And there are no journalists almost left in America.
You got to go to Glenn Greenwald.
You got to go to David Sirota.
The people over at the intercept, they're doing great work.
Everyone else is worthless.
They're fucking propaganda lapdogs to power.
Every goddamn one of them.
I can't, by the way, I can't wait to see Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow say nice things about the race baiter of Megan Kelly for money because they will.
They have to have to say nice things.
Just like they have to say nice thing about Chris Matthews and Brian William.
They have to say nice things about it because they all get paid by the same corporation.
Comcast, which, by the way, is voted the worst, one of the worst companies in the world for workers.
That's who the liberal news people work for.
They pay them 30 grand a day to shut the fuck up.
And guess what?
They shut up.
Hey, we'll see you January 30th.
That's right, January 30th.
It's the next live Jimmy Door show.
It's a Monday, 8 p.m. in Burbank, California at the Flappers Comedy Club.
Tickets are 10 bucks.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
There's a link right there.
Today's show is written by Robert Yasamura, Mark Van Landuit, Mike McRae, Steph Zamarano, all the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
All right, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Doerr saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not in it.
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