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June 25, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:14
20160625_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_6-24-16b
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Who's this?
Uh, Mr. Boehner, it's Jimmy Dore.
Yeah.
Ah, Jimmy, how the hell are you?
How about bad, Mr. Speaker?
How about yourself?
Not too shabby, Jim Jam.
I'm sitting here enjoying a little morning brandy.
Okay, a lot of brandy.
Playing with a little dog I just found, and I'm comfortably not wearing pants.
Wow, sounds like a nice day at home.
Oh, I'm not at home.
What?
Where are you?
Not sure.
Well, I'm outside somewhere.
Not exactly sure where.
I'm not in the middle of nowhere, though, because I can hear human voices in the distance.
Well, can you look around and see?
No, I lost my contact lenses last night, and I'm pretty much blind without them.
I can't really be sure of much of anything.
I'm not even sure this is a dog.
What on earth is going on with you?
Well, Jimmy, since I left Congress, I have been in essentially one long, cascading, alcohol-induced fugue state.
I'll come to at one place, having no idea where I am or how I got there, and then I'll drink myself into another bewildering relocation.
It's like I'm traveling through a Shivas Tesseract.
It's pretty mind-blowing.
Wow.
A Tesseract.
I wonder who else besides you knows what that is.
I don't know what to say, Mr. Speaker.
I really don't.
Jimmy, please.
I think I've heard this.
I suppose you have, sir.
Well, listen, I was going to ask you about some news items, but I guess that's out of the question.
Well, the strange thing is that somehow in the midst of all this, I still manage to keep up to date with what's going on in Congress.
Between catching a glimpse of a discarded newspaper that blows by while I'm resting in an alley, or seeing CNN on the bar TV as I'm being kicked out, I have a fair amount of knowledge of what's going on and am prepared to present my own opinion and analysis.
All right, then, Mr. Speaker, what do you think of the sit-in that was currently going on in the Congress?
Ah, the gun control thing.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, believe me here, you don't want to be on that floor.
I'm not sure a lot of them know what has been done on that carpet, but if they did, they'd rather shoot it with an unlicensed firearm than sit on it.
And Lewis has been around for a while.
He should know better.
That's what baffles me.
Oh, okay.
Well, aside from...
A lot of nasty shit has been done on that floor, right where they're sitting.
Nasty shit.
Jesus.
Fair enough.
Moving on.
I've seen it.
Okay.
Other than that, what do you think of the sit-in?
Is this an effective way to bring bills to the floor?
Are you kidding me?
This is the most embarrassing kumbaya moment I've seen anywhere, let alone Congress.
I want to laugh and be embarrassed at the same time.
Just shows you how much little Eddie Munster over there has lost control of Congress.
You mean Paul Ryan?
Of course.
I never want to put up with that shit.
All he did was shut the cease pan cameras off so the world couldn't actually see him being humiliated.
Pathetic.
What would you have done if you were still there, Mr. Speaker?
Me?
I would have turned a fucking fire hose on them.
You want to get 60s?
Let's get 60s.
Wow.
Not at my house.
These anti-gun nuts don't have the votes, and they know it, so they have to resort to giant grandstanding and theatrical optics to get their way.
But they suck at it.
That's our thing, the GOP.
You want to turn our playbook against us?
Not so fast, Coach East.
I see.
And then before this, you had that Chris Murphy guy trying to filibuster in the Senate.
Young, good-looking fella.
Wanted to make a name for himself with a politics game.
Thought maybe leading a filibuster is the way to go.
He saw Wendy Davis down in Texas become famous for filibustering for women's rights or whatever with her fucking shoes and said, okay, well, she's abortion, Barbie.
I can be unarmed and vulnerable populist Ken.
But then he and his team call and quits after 15 hours.
15 hours.
What a joke.
L. Straub Thurban filibustered the 1957 Civil Rights Act for 24 hours all by himself.
Now that's our boy.
That's our team.
These pussies don't know what they're doing.
You know, I'm not sure that's something to be proud of.
Jimmy, if you're a politician, effective politics is never something to be ashamed of.
Besides, this sitted thing just looks terrible.
You know, what hippies never understood, the one thing they completely failed to grasp, is that everyone hates hippies.
Even young left-wing progressives hate hippies.
And hippies always think everyone likes them.
It's so bizarre.
And the sit-in is some hippie shit.
They have no idea how much they're losing the on-defense voter with this pathetic, lazy display.
While you're at it, why don't you protest income inequality by lounging in a bed in a midtown Hilton with Yoko Odo?
I'm sure you'll win some people over with that bravery.
So you're not taking this particularly seriously, I take it.
Are you kidding me?
Please.
You know, the Democrat Party is sunk when they have to revert to their discarded 1960s playbook.
We don't have the votes to enact gun control legislation.
What do we do?
Quick, play some Jefferson airplanes.
So, you know, there's a little irony, too, to this protest because the ACLU was actually against this bill when it was in the Senate because it said it was discriminatory to minorities.
I know they're picking the wrong bill, too, on top of it.
It just keeps getting better.
It's really something.
So, hey, how do you think?
Are you lining up behind Trump for the election?
Or how do you fall down then?
I'll reserve my judgment until the convention.
All right.
Some, you know, some shit might go down.
Okay.
Can't really talk about it, but I've heard some things.
Okay.
All right.
Well, listen, Mr. Speaker.
I appreciate you taking time from your drunken stupor.
Hey, I gotta go, too.
I'm pretty sure this little dog is actually a bear cub, and her family seems to be looking for her.
So I should probably go.
Okay.
Okay, Mr. Speaker.
Thanks for talking to us.
Oh, but hey, before I get mauled to death, you want to know why that carpet there is so filthy?
Where they're sitting to the house for?
Not really, but I have a feeling you're going to tell us anyway.
One tie back in the dinies for tonight.
Oh, come on.
Bill Clinton and Barney Frank had a contest.
No.
To see who could ejaculate further.
Okay.
And where they're sitting is right in the front.
All right.
You can cut that out if you want.
I just figured I'd tell you the truth.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Okay.
Bye, Mr. Speaker.
Toodles!
I want all my friends!
It's the Jimmy Dore show.
The show for bluffies.
The kind of people that are...
Hellbent's maybe on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say...
It's hard to talk to T-Vales.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I am joining the studio from the Miserable Liberal blog.
It's our resident Latina.
It's the Miserable Liberal Steph Zabarato.
Hey, Steph, how are you?
Hello, ladies.
Yes, also with us overwriting for the Daily Show and the author of Morning Remembrance, fake obituaries of real dead people.
It's Jim Earl.
Hey, Jim.
Hello, Macho Man.
Yeah.
I want to be a macho macho man.
That's why I watch Univision just so I can figure out who is Mui Macho.
Also with us is nobody.
Okay, ready?
Let's get to the jokes before we get to it.
I don't have anything to say.
I'm not going to talk about freaking out this week.
Let's go right into the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Did you hear Clarence Thomas might retire from the Supreme Court?
What?
Yeah, they say he's going to retire from the Supreme Court to relax and do nothing, or as Clarence Thomas calls it, Monday.
Because he didn't do anything when he was on the Supreme Court.
He never talked or anything.
He doesn't do anything.
I could have done his job.
Hey, did you hear Trump fired his campaign manager?
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Told him to clean out his desk and turn in his white hood.
That's a real thing that happened.
No, he did.
He fired Corey Lewandowski.
Corey, that's the guy who hit the lady reporter from Breitbart and Trump stood by him.
But Corey Lewandowski's leaving the Trump campaign to spend more time roughing up his family.
And they need roughing up.
They certainly do.
So now, Corey Lewandowski, he plans to work for a racist, sexist piece of shit in the private sector.
Private sector joke.
Hey, did you hear?
By the way, Corey Lewandowski, then, after he got let go by the Trump campaign, he got hired as a commentator.
This is true.
Corey Lewandowski battered a reporter, fired too crazy for the Trump campaign, got hired by CNN as a commentator.
Also, by the way, Jared Fogle just given his own show on Nickelodeon.
*laughs*
So Dennis Haster, Dennis Haster reported for prison in Minnesota.
The longest-serving GOP Speaker of the House, the Party of Family Values, just went to serve his prison sentence for being a serial child molester.
That was the guy they put in power after the Clinton scandal.
He was the guy who was supposed to calm things down for him.
The guy turns out he was a serial child molester.
Son of a gun, you know.
Talk about over-correcting.
Only goes to show you.
I don't know what.
That Trump is just the latest in the long line of highly moral GOP leaders.
That's the party of family values.
Multiple family values.
See what I'm doing there?
Multiple.
Yeah.
Did you know?
Hey, did you know it's National Selfie Day?
So I want everybody to take a moment out of your busy schedule and quietly reflect and solemnly remember yourself.
National Selfie Day.
Isn't everyday National Selfie Day?
I think so.
Did you hear that Trump?
Well, I'll just tell you the joke.
You have to have some information to get this one.
I never liked the idea of a billionaire being president of the United States.
So maybe I will vote for Trump after all.
Because it turns out he doesn't have as much money as he sells in the house.
Did you know Trump is so broke, his favorite book is Mein Kamps?
Because he gets a lot of free stuff.
Mein Kamps.
C-O-M-P-S, Mein Kampfs.
Get it?
Mein Kampf is that book that Hitler wrote.
Mein Kampf.
Different.
This is Mein Kampf.
That's what makes it funny.
Okay.
All right.
I guess that's how we're going to.
Hey, you know, if only I was the leader of an anti-LGP hate group, I'd be invited on MSNBC and treated as a respected pundit.
But there you go.
All right.
What's coming up on today's show?
Hey, we're going to talk about the ACLU and how they feel about the Democratic sit-in.
How do they feel?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Hey, Jerry Falwell's son took a picture with Donny Trump.
And what was in the background just may surprise you.
Also, Hillary Clinton, we take a look at her Twitter feed timeline.
And we have a document leaked that shows just how much Hillary Clinton got paid for one of her speeches.
Oh, also, Luke Russert reads to us some Negro spirituals right on the air.
Hey, the youth vote.
Who's getting the youth vote?
Trump, Hillary Clinton, or Bernie Sanders?
The answer just may not surprise you one damn bit.
You know, Chris Chrissy got the youth vote.
He got the pardon me?
The youth vote.
The youth vote.
Youth youth vote.
Hey, John Ralston, we're going to talk about that.
John Ralston, remember the guy, the dean of Las Vegas Reporters?
Hey, lost his job.
We're going to talk about that.
So fake tears for him.
And plus, we got phone calls today from John Boehner, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton calls in.
Plus, a lot lot more.
us today of the Jimmy Dore Show.
you you So we all know what's happening in Congress, the Democrats trying to make a point about gun gun reform.
Here's what Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House, who, by the way, won't let a vote happen on it, Because, you know, it's important.
Here we go.
Here's what he has to say.
First, I would tell you, Wolf, this is nothing more than a publicity stunt.
That's point number one.
Oh, it's a publicity stunt.
When the Democrats are shining light on the fact that we don't do anything about gun reform in America, that's a publicity stunt.
Unlike when the NRA named Paul Ryan employee of the month with almost absolutely no fanfare.
All right, here's what he has to say.
Number two is this bill was already defeated in the United States Senate.
Number three, we're not going to take away a citizen's due process rights.
We're not going to take away a citizen's constitutional rights without due process.
That was already defeated in the Senate, and this is not a way to try and bring up legislation.
Now, let's focus on the issue at hand here: terrorism.
Okay, two points.
The issue isn't terrorism.
That guy wasn't a terrorist.
That guy was a mental case, right?
That guy was unstable, had lots of violent problems going back to fifth grade.
He pledged allegiance to Hezbollah and to ISIS and to Al-Qaeda, which you can't.
If you know anything about those, you can't do that.
That doesn't make sense.
That's like pledging allegiance to the Yankees and the Mets and the Boston Red Sox.
Can't do it.
So that's not, it's not about terrorism.
So that's bullshit.
That's what they want you to think.
This is about terrorism.
No, it isn't.
It's about easy access to high-powered weaponry.
That's what this is about.
That's what this is about.
Okay.
And let's find out what we need to do to prevent future terrorist attacks.
Yeah, well, this isn't a terrorist attack.
What we could do to prevent future attacks like this, some sensible gun legislation.
That's what we could do.
So then he tweeted out: retweet, if you agree, this sit-in by the House Democrats is nothing more than a publicity stunt.
Yeah, just nothing about that pleasure.
You know, these guys want to do something about guns.
Ha!
Publicity stunt.
Unlike when you guys took your 400th vote to repeal Obamacare.
Unlike that serious moment.
So they don't have time to take a vote.
Paul Ryan does not have time to take a vote because of this goddamn publicity stunt.
What did he have time to do?
What did the Senate have time?
This is what they decided to do in the Senate after the shooting.
They didn't decide to ban guns.
They didn't decide to ban AR-15s.
They didn't decide to ban for background checks or to get terrorists off, not be able to buy weapons.
None of that happened.
What did they do to protect us?
This is true.
This is really what happened was privacy-minded.
So what they did was they went back in the Senate and they tried to pass a bill to take away more of our rights.
Yes.
What was it?
Well, on Wednesday, privacy-minded senators, this is according to U.S. News and World Report.
They said privacy-minded senators on Wednesday blocked an amendment that would give the FBI power to take internet records, including browser histories and email metadata without a court order.
So Mitch McConnell went back.
So the Republicans went back to Congress after that massacre.
Did they try to legislate some gun legislation?
No.
What did they do?
They tried to erode more of your rights.
They tried to make us more into a police state.
So this whole idea that they're somehow for your freedom is bullshit.
They're not for your freedom at all.
Because right here, this goes against the Fourth Amendment.
You have to get a warrant, a specific warrant.
You want to do stuff like that.
They want to make it so you don't.
They want to make it so they can get your browser history and email metadata without a court order.
That's what the Republicans are pushing right now in response to the shooting.
Not a publicity stunt like the Democrats, you know, trying to have some gun legislation.
Not a publicity stunt like that, but they're doing this.
They're trying to do it under the radar.
The amendment would allow the FBI to use NSLs to force companies to turn over electronic communication transactional records, sometimes referred to as an ECTR, when it claims they are relevant to an investigation into terrorism or espionage.
So they would force private companies to give them the data they have on you, like whoever, Verizon, Sprint, Google, Apple, whoever, they can force.
We wanted his, what has he been looking at?
His browser.
Did he have a warrant?
No, I want to see it anyway.
Oh, okay.
Why?
I don't know.
Maybe the guy's an agitator.
Maybe the guy's an Occupy Wall Street guy, and I want to find some dirt on him to discredit him.
So he's not allowed to make a point against the government.
And by the way, who makes money off their surveillance?
There are a lot of people.
Private industries do the surveillance now.
Booz Allen?
That's what's total money giveaway to private industries.
That's what that is.
And what are NSLs?
NSLs are administrative subpoenas that don't require court approval and often come with a gag order.
So that's what they did in the Senate.
That's what they did in the Senate.
They wanted to use NSLs to force companies, force companies to turn over electronic communications and transactional records.
NSLs are administrative subpoenas that don't require court approval and come with a gag order on top of it.
So there you go.
That's what the Senate Republicans did.
That was their response to the shooting.
That's their response to the shooting.
How did they respond?
How did they respond in the House?
Well, according, we saw Paul Ryan not allowing a vote on the bill.
We saw him.
Also, what they did, this according to The Hill, GOP lawmakers and aides said no gun-related measures would be voted on Wednesday night.
What did they do?
Instead, Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California will call for a vote to overturn the Labor Department's new rule requiring financial advisors to act in the best interest of their clients.
Let me break that down for you.
There's a new rule that the Republicans are fighting.
And the new rule says that financial advisors have to act in the best interests of their clients.
You know, the people coming to ask for financial advice, they're not allowed to lie to them and sell them stuff that makes them more money and hurts their own client, which is what was happening, which is why we needed a rule.
And why do you need rules in the financial sector?
Because if people don't have confidence in the financial sector, they won't invest.
And there goes your investments.
That's why you need a well-regulated financial sector.
That's what they decided to do.
Hey, there's 50 dead gay people because of our corruption and lack of gun regulations because everybody's bought and paid for.
Well, how should we respond to it?
Should we want to regulate guns sensibly?
No, how about we make it easier for banks to fuck over their clients?
That's what they sent us to Congress to do, right?
When we have a superior culture, though, to those barbarian Muslims, our whole fucking government, our whole culture is bought by a handful of people.
What do they do?
They write legislation to fuck over their own citizens out in the open.
They're suppressing the vote left and right.
They're doing stuff like this.
90% of the country wants some kind of gun legislation.
They won't give it to them.
We live in a banana.
We live in an oligarchy right now.
Your government's already been stolen from you.
This is our superior culture.
This is the kind of stuff our superior culture Christians do to each other for money.
We'll do anything for money.
We'll even invade a Muslim country and kill hundreds of thousands of people and then order torture to cover it up.
That's what we do in our superior culture for money.
For money.
So way to go.
That's the Republicans' response to a massacre in Orlando.
Screw over clients of banks and make it easier for the government to spy on you.
*thud*
Hello.
Hello, Hillary.
Hi, Jimmy.
Thank you for calling me.
Or did I call you?
I'd like to have my interview with Steph.
Oh, hi.
Oh, hello, Miss Clinton.
Thanks so much for taking time.
Steph is great.
She is great.
You don't need to tell me that.
Please don't patronize me.
I already know how great Steph is.
For one thing, she's a woman.
For another, she is an actor with whom I can improvise.
I'm taking an improv class to loose up and become more fun.
Oh, how's that coming?
I said I wanted to talk to Steph.
Stephanie, are you there?
Hi, Hillary.
Now, that's more like it.
Finally, a woman has the microphone.
Steph, if you're like me, and I'm sure you are no matter what your background, because you're a woman who helps women.
Thanks, Hillary.
I am.
I try to help other women.
I know how important it is for women to help each other.
It's the only way to level the playing field.
That's right, kiddo.
Would you please help this woman in a friendly game of improvisation?
Sure.
Yes.
Great.
Okay, now I know you can't see me, but imagine I'm stretching on stage and showing the audience I'm limber and ready to go.
Okay.
And now, give me an occupation.
A teacher.
No.
That's what women used to do when they didn't have options.
Your thinking is about 50 years behind the times, Steph.
Like when I was working for Barry Goldwater, I was a Goldwater girl pushing to end civil rights right alongside Barry.
I'm not proud of it, but it's just what everyone did back then.
Get over it.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I didn't.
Of course not.
You probably weren't even born in the United States in 1964.
I was born here and so were my parents.
Welcome.
I welcome you and your parents and will continue to do so in my eminent candidacy.
Welcome.
Give me an occupation.
A bus driver?
Wrong.
I thought you were an improver.
You haven't given me anything to work with here.
Okay.
President.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Add a girl, Steph.
Yes.
That was fun.
Okay.
Are you done talking to my wife?
Yes, thank you.
Is that okay?
Yeah, no, that was fat.
I'm so good about it.
Steph, what did you think?
I thought you were a great improviser.
Oh, thank you so much.
And thanks for your support.
Okay, we're not really supporting you, though.
Oh.
Well, I don't know what this call was about.
Well, that's a shame because you're going to have to deal with the consequences.
I'm very sorry to hear that, Jim and Steph.
It's, well, it's your choice and you've made a bad decision.
Get over it.
We lost.
Get over it.
Okay.
Get over it.
What do you want?
Trump?
He's a jackass.
Bernie is not in the race.
Get over it.
Okay, okay.
Get over it.
Okay.
All right, madam.
All right, Madam Seggard.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
All right.
That was Mrs. Tom.
Okay.
Yeah.
Big thank you to everybody who contributed to the super successful Indiegogo campaign.
Yippity-yappity.
We went $12,000 over our goal.
And so thank you very much.
Touched from the bottom of my heart.
Very nice.
Jimmy Door show listeners are the best.
And a big thanks to all the people who think about the Jimmy Door show when they buy something from Amazon.com.
It's a big help to the show.
We don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon, but we say if you're going to shop there anyway, have some of that money, go to a great progressive cause like the Jimmy Doer show.
So the next time you're going to buy something from Amazon, swing by JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Click on our Amazon box on the front page.
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It's just that easy.
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And it doesn't cost you anything, but it sure does help support the show.
Not kidding.
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So big thanks, everybody.
Ah, we have great fans.
All right.
So let's get back to the second half.
We got a lot coming up.
Welcome back to the second half of today's Jimmy Door show.
We're going to take a look at the occupying of Congress by the Democrats over a gun vote and what it really means and all the significance of it.
We're going to take a look at that.
I'm joined in the studio by the miserable liberal Steph Samurano.
And right now, let's get to a morning remembrance from Jim Earl.
Do not freak out.
Break out.
And now here's a reading from the book, Morning Remembrance: Fake Obituaries of Real People by Jim Earle.
Maury Johai, inventor of the cheese doodle.
Maury Johai, inventor of the cheese doodle, is now cheese deadle.
Doctors say his heart gave out after hours of straining through a particularly difficult doodle.
By the time Paramedics found his body, it was already caked with a delicious yellow powder and puffed to a delightful, crunchy consistency.
Plus, he had cancer.
Yohai, whatever the hell his name was, was proud of his invention, yet his family says he was more interested in pursuing Jewish mysticism.
As we all know, according to the Zohar, study of the Torah can only proceed along these three methods.
Pershat, directly interpreting meaning.
Remes, interpreting meaning through allegories.
And Darash, interpreting meaning by boiling it in vats, extruding it under high pressure through a narrow hole and coating it with fake cheese.
Plus, he had cancer.
Yohai requested his body be ground up with the body of the guy who invented cheese whiz and used as a sexual lubricant for turtles.
Thank you and good night.
Yay.
That was a reading from Morning Remembrance, available at jimearl.com.
So I know I've been bringing this up a lot.
I'm going to bring it up again.
The Democratics occupied the Congress to occupy the floor because they wanted to force a vote, even though they didn't have the votes.
They didn't have the votes.
They didn't have the procedure.
The majority is against them.
They can never get it through.
Yet they did it anyway.
What?
As my friend Malcolm Fleischer said, can't believe all these congressmen making pie-in-the-sky demands about gun legislation.
What are they?
A bunch of Bernie bros?
Because that's the exact thing that they criticized Bernie Sanders for.
That, oh, you know, I remember Chris Matthews saying, hey, somebody tell Bernie Sanders when he gets to, if he becomes president, he's going to go to the Senate.
He's going to go, oh, my God, there's still Republicans there.
So either you have 60 votes or you don't.
That's all.
That's all I want to hear.
Do you have 60 votes or not?
Well, the Democrats didn't have, they didn't have 60 votes.
They didn't, they didn't even, this is in the House.
They don't have the majority.
They don't have the speakership.
They just decided to do it.
And everyone's cheering them on.
In fact, they didn't get the legislation.
They didn't even get a vote that they wanted.
They didn't get any of that stuff, but everyone's still seeing it as a victory.
You know who else is still seeing it as a victory?
Luke Russert.
So Luke, tell me about the victory that the Democrats did, even though they're in the minority.
They don't have power.
The Republicans control everything.
And they didn't even get to vote on the bill they wanted to vote on.
But Luke Russert's going to tell me they still won.
Let's hear it.
Let's see how did they win, Luke?
Let me hear it.
They feel that they had a big victory today, especially with public relations.
They were able to knock Donald Trump out of the A-block, talking about Hillary Clinton today.
They were able to talk to their base who's very concerned about the epidemic that is matching in the United States and that.
Oh, so they were able to control the news cycle with their message.
They were also able to speak to their base, who this issue is very important to.
So it energized their own supporters, American voters, and it showed them that their government's a little bit responsive to them.
So that's two big things right away.
Leads over to a lot of independents.
They feel that they've asserted themselves on this issue.
Oh, so they appealed to independents, too, who are this is a popular issue with.
Isn't that something?
People have said, well, Democrats don't fight.
Republicans are always fighting.
Democrats always roll over.
They feel that they've shed that a little bit today.
So they've also changed the image of them being weak and spineless.
Look at all the wins they just had there.
Those are a lot of wins.
They controlled the news cycle.
They took it away from Donald Trump.
They controlled the news cycle.
They got their message out.
They appealed to their base.
They were able to appeal to independents who care about this issue.
And they were able to change the public perception that they're weak and they won't fight for things.
Maybe that'll help them in an election, you think.
So isn't that amazing?
When those guys do it on an issue that, be honest, doesn't really matter.
So all that, this is what Bernie Sanders has been saying.
You go with the people.
We win the election.
We change the ground that everyone's standing on.
And that's what they're doing.
And they're using shining light on corruption.
And that's what Bernie said.
But if Bernie Sanders, he's pie in the sky.
He's unicorns.
He's very dude.
This guy doesn't know.
He doesn't know how government works.
Either you have control or you don't.
There's still going to be Republican.
But look at all the victories they got by fighting.
Isn't that something?
So Bernie Sanders, a progressive, a real liberal, who's a fighter, and everybody, all the Democrats turn their back on him.
All the liberal media turn their back on him.
But when they do it, it's the greatest thing ever.
Look at all the victories they just notched up, even in a loss.
They didn't get to vote on the thing they wanted to vote on.
Look at all the victories.
What do you say, Jim?
I think this is very impractical, Jimmy.
You have to stop bullets coming at your head incrementally.
I see your point.
Yeah, you have to.
So what I'm saying is that was all a lie.
And it was weird to see Democrats lie about Bernie Sanders and about what he was trying to accomplish.
That was all propaganda.
So let's call it a propaganda because that's all that was.
All that stuff about Bernie Sanders not knowing how Congress works.
How's he going to get it done?
There's still going to be Republicans.
He doesn't know how to worry about that was all pure propaganda.
And we smelled it as propaganda.
It was just something to say.
That's why I say the people who were against Bernie were arguing like Bush supporters because none of it made sense.
And they were arguing against their own positions as liberals.
So when other people do it, it's the greatest thing ever for Democrats.
They win the news cycle.
They show up their base.
They appeal to independents.
And they turn around their public perception of being weak.
All this on a big fail in a House that they don't have any power.
They don't have any power in the House.
So all that shit that they said about Bernie Sanders was exactly that.
100%, 100% complete and utter fucking bullshit.
You had a real liberal and you turn your back on him.
You know what I thought was really bad taste when Elizabeth Warren showed up with some torpedo sandwiches.
Yeah, right.
you you So everybody's really proud of themselves, patting themselves on the back.
I mean, in the Democratic Party, because they made a big stand and they did an Occupy.
They occupied the House floor to make a point and shine a light on the GOP's inaction on gun control.
So it turns out what they were voting on, the bill, well, first of all, the headline is this: it turns out ACLU opposes the use of unfair watch list system to so they were there they're all upset because they wanted to if you can't fly it's what is it a no no fly no buy that's what they were saying no buy so if you're on the terrorist watch list they say you shouldn't be able to buy a gun right so that's this is the big thing it's like can't we even do this but it turns out the ACLU
against that bill.
So the lefties are standing up for a bill that the lefty organization, the ACLU, is against.
What do they say?
What's wrong with the bill?
They say the ACLU strongly urges you to vote against the Collins Amendment because it uses the error prone and unfair watch list system along with vague and over broad terms as a predicate for a proceeding to deny a firearms permit.
So...
the let me just read you what the vote on the collins amendment also so this was supposed to be a compromise the collins collins amendment which is backed by senate minority leader harry reed targets those on the no-fly list and the selectee list a secret list which selects certain passengers for additional inspection at u.s airports this is a narrower frame than the measure proposed by dianne feinstein earlier this week which targeted anyone on the broader terrorist
watch list.
Feinstein's amendment was defeated on Tuesday, along with another offered by Senator John Cornyn from Texas.
So the ACLU urged them to vote against all these things because it used the unfair watch list system, which was vague and went over broad terms.
OK, let's see what else they say.
And it says reliance on the list would open the door to arbitrary and discriminatory government action, said the ACLU.
And they also said the ACLU opposed both measures for relying on a watch list system that has in the past swept up innocent individuals is kept secret.
The watch, did you know this?
This is all secret.
I didn't know that.
And offers no meaningful process for people to correct government errors and clear their names.
Yes, some people are kept on it for years.
Yeah.
So I saw a Boston legal about this and they they they attacked this problem.
And it's it does seem to be a crazy problem.
If your name matches anybody who's a might be a terrorist or a family member of a terrorist or, you know, I don't know.
There's certainly a lot of Irish terrorists that I'm sure I would be the IRA.
You're going to say something?
Well, I you know, if the only thing that if the only if the worst thing about this is that it keeps anyone from getting a gun justifiably or unjustifiably, I say, yeah, I don't give a crap.
You know, I don't want anybody to have a gun.
You know, I'm with you, by the way, on that.
So they're saying, hey, you're gonna so what the ACLU is opposing this on principle because they they're against the terrorist watch list, I guess, being the way it is.
And I understand and agree with that, too.
It's yeah, that there isn't a process to challenge the terror watch list, which there should be.
It is bullshit.
Yeah.
Here's what Glenn Greenwald had said about it.
He said he made another good point about this.
He said Democrats in unison are actually arguing that the
the u.s government must constrain people whom they are now calling potential terrorists just spend a moment pondering how creepy and orwellian that phrase is in the context of government designations yeah it is uh that the government must constrain people whom they are calling potential terrorists so that was just like that movie minority report with tom cruise where they arrested you for stuff that you were thinking that's what it sounds like right so
Good points.
And of course, when the Democrats decide to make a stand on an issue, of course, it's the fucking wrong one.
Of course, of course, it's not the right one.
There's a lot of stuff they should be occupying the House about.
You know, how about the fact that we have 5 percent of the world's population and we imprison 25 percent of the world's prisoners?
How about that?
How about that?
Our criminal justice system is overtly racist, so racist that even Republicans notice.
So how about the Occupy for that?
How about Occupy the fact that we don't we maybe we get our health care that's somewhere along the lines of, I don't know, Costa Rica.
I don't know.
I just think it's a funny.
It was such a narrow thing to occupy for.
And of course, these are and they got and they got it wrong.
So, you know, Jimmy, the ACLU also came out against the Tom Collins Amendment.
The Tom Collins Amendment, which.
I don't know.
I was too drunk to read that amendment.
OK, so that was along with the Jack Daniels Amendment.
And yeah, what was that one?
That was you can't have a Tom Collins with a Jack Daniels.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you can make some shitty food at TGI Fridays.
Don't knock TGI Fridays.
I love it.
I love TGI Fridays.
So guess what?
The Democrats are making a big stink about the voting on gun regulations.
And the Republicans are not having any of it.
Representative John Lewis went to the floor today.
And this is what he said.
Who work on bipartisan solution or push aside.
Those who pursue common sense improvement are beaten down.
Reason is criticized.
Structuring is praise.
It sounds like.
like he's talking about bernie sanders ideas what common sense is ridicule structure is praised so what these people are doing is they're not taking no for an answer remember what they used to say about bernie Sanders, when they would say, oh, that guy hater is still going to be 60.
You got 60 votes.
Then if you don't, then shut up.
That's what Chris Matthews says about Bernie Sanders ideas.
They go, oh, you know, when he gets to the Senate, it's still going to be 65 Republicans.
If you got it, I don't want to hear your plans.
Well, look, the Democrats don't have the numbers in the House.
They don't even have control of the House.
The Republicans have control of it and the Senate.
And all of a sudden, they decided to do something.
What's with?
Are they a bunch of Bernie bros, pie in the sky, fairy duster, unicornies, rainbows?
What do they think they're doing?
They don't have the votes.
Don't they know how to work with the Republicans?
So isn't it kind of, so that's what it's there's a little bit more to what he has to say.
Let's listen because it's good what he has to say.
Newtown, Arova, Charleston, Orlando.
What is the tipping point?
Are we blind?
Can we see?
How many more mothers?
How many more fathers need to shed tears of grief before we do something?
We were elected to lead, Mr. Speaker.
We must be headlights and not tear likes.
So again, this is driving me kind of nuts, right?
Because everyone's applauding this.
Everyone's applauding this.
And I'm applauding it too.
That Democrats are finally standing up for something.
They're standing up for something.
And they're shining a light on the dysfunction in Congress.
And by the way, the whole point of this, what's wrong with what's going on in Congress, is that they're all bought.
And it's weird that they still won't say it.
They won't point to Paul Ryan and say, you're bought because they're bought too.
They're just bought by different people.
These guys might not be bought by the gun lobby, but I've never seen them.
So here, there's more.
We cannot continue to stick our heads in the sand and ignore the reality of mass gun violence in our nation.
Deadly mass shootings are becoming more and more frequent.
Mr. Speaker, this is the fight.
It is not an opinion.
We must remove the blinders.
The time for silence and patience is long gone.
The time for silence and patience is long gone.
That's being screamed on the floor of the House of Representatives by a guy who's in the minority, who just got gaveled, who's about to get gaveled.
They're going to turn his mic off.
What's wrong with him?
Isn't he a fairy duster?
What is he?
Rainbows and you?
That's not how it works.
You don't get how it works.
He doesn't get how it works.
So he's saying that there's now is the time.
Now we're going to lead.
We're supposed to be headlights.
We're supposed to be leaders.
It's exactly what Bernie Sanders has been saying.
And everybody dismissed him, including this guy, by the way, who didn't back him.
Yet he's carrying his message of standing up against money in politics.
This is his message.
This is it.
Stand up and do something.
Jimmy, are you suggesting Bernie Sanders somehow has inspired this kind of behavior?
I don't know if I'm saying he inspired it.
I'm saying this is the exact thing he's talking about.
And everybody in the Democratic Party turned their back on him.
And now all of a sudden they're doing it.
All of a sudden, they found this issue that they can do this on.
Why don't they do this on every issue that has to do with things?
They didn't do this when Occupy Wall Street happened.
They didn't do this to deregulate Wall Street.
Here we go.
There's more.
They're calling on the leadership of the House to bring common sense gun control legislation to the House floor.
Give us a vote.
Let us vote.
We came here to do our job.
We came here to work.
What?
This guy doesn't know how it works.
He doesn't know how it works in Congress.
That's not how it works.
You're not in control.
You can't just scream, let us have what we want.
What are you, child?
That's what they say to Bernie Sanders.
What are you going to do?
Kick and scream when you get there?
What are they doing?
Again, I'm for this.
I'm pointing out how this is exactly what Bernie Sanders has been saying.
And everyone on the left has demeaned him for it.
Not the Bernie Sanders supporter, everyone else, including the establishment, lefty media.
American people demand in action.
Do we have the courage?
Do we have raw courage to make at least a down payment on ending gun violence in America?
We can no longer wait.
We can no longer be patient.
So today we come to the well of the house to dramatize the need for action.
So he says, so now we come to the well of the house to dramatize the need for action.
Oh, so dramatizing the need for action is an important thing because everybody from Chris Matthews to Rachel Maddow to Debbie Wasser, everybody said that's crazy.
What are you talking about, Bernie?
Rainbows.
What are you going to do?
You don't have the votes.
You don't have the votes.
You got to know how to work with them.
And everyone, including me, is applauding this guy.
I'm applauding John Lewis for standing up and saying these things, for doing the right thing.
This is what we're supposed to do in America.
Here we go.
But next month.
Not next year, but now.
Today.
Sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary.
Sometimes you have to make a way out of nowhere.
Sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary.
Sometimes you have to make a way where there is no way.
Oh, wait a minute.
I thought you guys just supported incrementalism over a guy who said we have to make a way where there is no way.
Over a guy who said it's about time we have universal health care.
It's a right in the richest country in the world.
He's screaming that too.
And all you guys turned your back on him.
We all turned your back on him.
You turned and you supported money in politics.
So the whole get the irony of this, would you?
This is all because of money in politics.
The NRA buys elections.
They buy politicians.
They threaten to primary them by giving money to their opponent.
That's what this is all.
That's what Bernie's all about.
That's why he got in.
Because what Hillary Clinton is is another bought politician.
That's why she supports the TPP and fracking and the Iraq war.
That's why she's not for Glass-Steagall.
That's why she's not for breaking up the banks.
Because the big money and pot, and that's what they're all screaming about.
And by the way, they won't say it.
They won't say that why we're here is because our government is corrupted by money.
And when I say our government, I mean Paul Ryan is bought.
Because they won't say that because the Republicans can turn around and point the finger right back at them on other issues.
Especially when their nominee.
Again, this is driving me nuts.
There's more.
We have been too quiet.
We've been too quiet for too long.
There comes a time when you have to say something when you have to make a little noise.
Again, it sounds like Bernie Sanders.
There comes a time when you have to say something, you have to make a little noise.
There are people dying in America for lack of health care.
There are people going bankrupt in America for lack of health care.
There are people under crushing debt because they just wanted to go to college.
It's time that the United States, the richest country on the face of the earth, stands up and delivers a health care to its people on the level of Costa Rica.
That's what Bernie Sanders is saying.
And he's saying it about all the issues.
He's saying about one little itty-bitty sliver of an issue.
He's not even saying it about the whole gun issue.
This isn't about banning all guns.
This is about one little itty-bitty tiny piece of one little gun issue.
That's what this is about.
The whole system's infected.
Look how they can scream when they're not in the pocket of the donor.
He's screaming when his party isn't in the pocket of the donor.
There's more.
You have to move your feet.
This is the time.
Now is the time to get in the way.
The time to act is not.
We will be silent.
No more.
The time to act is now.
Time to move your feet.
Hey, what's this guy?
Come on.
What's Bernie?
What are you, a Bernie, bro?
What are you, ferried?
How are you going to get this done?
What's your plan?
How are you going to get this done?
Why isn't Rachel Maddow screaming that today?
Why aren't everybody at MSNBC screaming that today?
Hey, where's your plan?
How's your plan to get these things done?
Where's Chris Matthews?
Because that's all he can say about Bernie Sanders.
Yeah, how's he going to get it done?
Yeah, I don't think it's got to get it.
Where's your plan?
No one's saying that to John Izzy.
And it reveals the this at this at the same time reveals the cravenness of the Democratic Party because they'll stand up now.
Now, one little sliver of a gun bill.
Anyway, there's more to this.
I'm sure we're going to all be talking more about this.
It's amazing, huh?
It's amazing.
When a civil rights leader says it, it's inspiring.
When Bernie Sanders says it, it's upsetting to everybody.
It's upsetting.
Because they're all bought.
Hello, who is this?
Hello?
Is this Grubhub?
No, this is the Jimmy Door show.
Is this Bernie Sanders?
Where's my damn sandwich?
I'm sorry, Bernie.
This isn't Grubhub, so I don't know where your sandwich is.
Then what the hell do you want?
I don't want anything.
You're the one who called me.
Let me ask you something.
I order a hot pasta dish, and I also order some Froyo, right?
Uh-huh.
Frozen yogurt, you mean?
How do you keep the cold from getting hot and the hot from getting cold?
Asking for a friend here.
How do you keep the hot from getting cold and the cold from getting hot?
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Okay.
Hey, we're going to see you Sunday at Politicon, right?
That's this Sunday, June 26th, 4 p.m. show.
If you're going to Politicon, we'll be there 4 p.m.
Come check us out.
We're going to have our Representative Republican Representative Richard Martin will be there.
Eddie Pepetone, hilarious Eddie Pepetone, who one of my all-time favorite comedians and old friend of the show.
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All right.
That's it.
Guess what?
That's it for this week.
This show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamarano, Jim Earl, and all the voices.
Oh, Frank Conniff and Frank Connoff.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
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