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Dec. 19, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
And now Steph Zamorano with Profiles of America's Great Visionaries.
This week's great American visionary, Dick Cheney.
Since 9-11, this man has dedicated himself to making America a safer place.
He is the most outspoken vice president I have seen in my lifetime.
Dick Cheney.
He is a man of courage, integrity, and honor.
Kind of.
He encompasses the very value system our great country has been built upon.
The bones and skulls of Native Americans and anyone else that gets in our way.
Dick Cheney continues to risk his life from behind a microphone.
For our great nation, one torture victim after another.
Cheney embodies the American way of life.
Beat, bludgeon, rape, electric shock the shit out of anyone who looks like our enemy.
What a relief we can finally have open conversations about why torture is the only and best solution for spreading democracy.
Otherwise, we might act like a bunch of compassionate Geneva convention-abiding pussies.
Happy mock executions and loss of humanity, everyone.
This is Steph, the miserable liberal.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to T-Di.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I am joined in studio across from me from the blog, The Miserable Liberal.
It's our resident Latina at Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
I'm doing great, Jimmy.
Yay.
Across the glass from the Young Turks, it's Edwin Umanya.
Edwin, how are things going over at the Young Turks?
Everything's going great at the Young Turks.
Over a billion and a half views, over a million subscribers.
And guess what, Jimmy?
You have been a great part of that.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much, Edwin.
Sweet of you to say so.
Also on the phone from New York City, you know him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
Hello there.
Yay.
Also on the phone with us from San Francisco, hilarious writer.
It's Mark Van Landuit.
Hey, Mark, how are you, buddy?
Hi, everybody.
Hey, Mark, how was your, how was your jazz festival?
How'd that work out for you?
It was great.
The Adventures and Jazz concert series finished the other week, and it was great seeing all the Jimmy Dore show fans out there.
You know what?
I'm a big jazz fan, and it's nice to know they share my musical tastes.
That's fantastic.
All right, so let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, you know, it's so it's the middle of December, and 2015 is only a couple of weeks away.
Yet here I am still writing 2014 on my checks.
Wait, I think I messed that one up.
Yeah, you said 2014.
That's the joke.
It's hilarious.
Hey, so I'm going in to pitch a show next week.
Tell me what you guys think.
It's ISPY Reboot starring Dick Cheney and Bill Cosby.
Sure, they're a little bit old, but their likability factor is off the charts.
You know, Bill Cosby may never work on stage again, but he has a future working for the CIA.
Hey, did you know that you heard about they hacked into Sony's emails and they got Amy Pascal's and Scott Rudin's emails?
And did you hear what they said, like those kind of semi-racist stuff about Barack Obama?
And due to those emails being released, there's been a lot of fallout.
one of the things that's happening over at Sony now is they've discontinued their casual racism Friday.
Nice.
Did you see Elizabeth Warren?
So they passed the Cromnebus bill, which was a big giveaway to the bank.
So now they're going to crash again.
The banks are going to crash again.
And Elizabeth Warren was really sticking up for the people.
And, you know, the sight of Elizabeth Warren representing the interests of the American people made a lot of senators think they were in the wrong building.
Hey, I don't know if you've been watching Joe Scarborough, but he's my favorite subhuman MSNBC newsreader.
He says that Bill Cosby hasn't been charged, right?
So how can we possibly believe 25 women with the exact same drug rape story?
Say the Bill Cosby scandal has gotten so bad that women who haven't been drugged and raped are coming forward.
Hey, did you hear Jeb Bush announce that he possibly might run for president?
And I'm sorry, fall asleep there for a little bit.
I'm sorry.
Hey, did you know Jeb Bush promised that if he is elected president, that he will only torture the brothers of terrorists?
Because he's the brother of George Bush.
Did you get that?
Hey, David Brooks, our favorite New York Times horrible columnist, he said that Elizabeth Warren can win and be elected president.
She's toast.
Did you hear about Barack Obama?
Michelle Bachman came out with some strong words for President Obama, said he was condescending, said she said that Barack Obama was patronizing towards her.
But I say, hey, Michelle, good, you made an effort to talk to a grown-up, so good for you.
Michelle Bachman said Obama treated her like an idiot.
And there's no excuse for that.
There's no excuse for that unless he's aware of everything she's ever said.
Hey, by the way, I was watching that MSNBC on the weekends.
They go no news in all lockdown marathons about prisons.
You know, the only difference between MSNBC's lockdown marathon and Dick Cheney on Meet the Press is that in Dick Cheney on Meet the Press, the criminal is not behind bars.
And by the way, Bush and Cheney won the torture debate.
You know, I know, because now there's a thing called the torture debate.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that was, that's one of those jokes.
You go, oh, one of those.
Can I get a who?
Gonna get ha ha.
I just want to end the month opening jokes with a question, everybody.
Should you always take responsibility for the things in life that you're curious about?
I'm asking for a friend.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to take a look back to last week's CIA Brennan when he acknowledged mistakes, mistakes, meaning he acknowledged torture.
Not really.
And we're going to talk about that.
Plus, we're going to talk about John McCain versus Dick Cheney on Sunday television.
And we're also going to talk about Brian Williams has a new commercial out for the Brian Williams News.
It's fantastic.
Plus, we're going to talk a little bit about the Kromnimus bill and who's responsible for it.
Plus, we get to, we're going to listen to the entire interview Ari Melber did with the St. Louis police union guy.
No, Cleveland police union guy.
And he's just as sensitive and aware of you as you would think.
Okay.
Plus, we got phone calls today.
Let me see.
We have phone calls.
We got Mitt Romney calls in.
The Pope calls in.
Rick Perry calls in.
And guess what?
We got the torturer-in-chief himself, Dick Cheney, calls in.
Plus, a lot.
Yes, plus a lot more.
today on the Jimmy Dora Show.
you Bye.
Bye.
you you Commercial-free PBS, bringing you the finest in BBC programming is made possible by Goldman Sachs.
When you invest with Goldman Sachs, you invest with confidence.
Have one of our confidence men handle your money today.
Trans Canada Pipelines, laying pipe up America's backyard.
When you're this excited, it's hard not to spill some.
The prison industrial complex, committed to providing high-quality prison facilities for your children and your children's children.
Pfizer Pharmaceuticals.
For generations, the public has been taking Pfizer products, and for generations, Pfizer has been taking the public.
The Ford Motor Company, Ford Motors, discouraging public transit in cities across our great country.
Monsanto, genetically modifying Americans for over a century.
And China, manufacturing the finest in Sesame Street toys and pledge drive tote bags.
Additional funding by the Rosalind P. Russell Foundation, who believe that culture should be free to everybody if you're rich enough.
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And from viewers like you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
What are you doing the day after Christmas?
That Friday and Saturday, December 26, 27.
I'll be telling jokes at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for links and warranty.
So in December 2012, the Cleveland police chased a car and shot them with 137 bullets.
The two unarmed people were shot 24 times each.
That's right.
13 police officers fired 137 bullets at two unarmed people in a car.
The fatal wounds were shot by a guy standing on their hood, shooting through their windshield.
So plus, that's where that 12-year-old kid was playing with a BB gun on the playground, and the cops pulled up and immediately shot him.
They pulled up right next to him and shot him.
And people are upset about that guy.
They're doing that, right?
So the football player for the Cleveland Browns wore a jacket, said justice for that kid, right?
The police union guy from Cleveland was upset about it and said he demanded an apology.
So this is just like the St. Louis guy who demanded an apology when the guys came out with their hands up.
They could not.
So Chris Hayes brought on the St. Louis police union guy.
And really, it's like, my point is, if you're going to bring these guys on and let them be maniacs like this, you have to be willing to call them what they are.
You can't keep, you can't not say things bluntly.
You can't, you have to quit it.
And you have to quit thanking them for their time.
Would you thank Hitler for his time?
So here's, so I'm going to play the whole thing.
We'll stop and start it.
But Chris, so here's Ari Melber, who does a little bit better of a job, but not a good job.
And Albert Melber, by the way, I have nothing but respect for this guy.
I love Ari Melber.
He's smarter than me.
He's better.
He does a lot of things.
Great.
And he's one of the bright spots over at MSNBC.
But here's the problem when they you can't bring on, they bring on these guys and they forget they're criminals.
And since Ari Melber has lived a sheltered life like Chris AIDS, they don't expect these guys to respond like criminals and they let him off the hook.
So here's what happens, right?
Here's he want he demanded an apology from the football player.
The statement right there.
Why should he or anyone have to apologize for stating their sincere views on police conduct?
Well, first off, he doesn't have the clear view of the police conduct.
He's calling for justice on two officers that were called to do their job with the mail that had a gun inside a park that they had to defend themselves and use deadly force on him.
So it's not a call for justice.
They were justified.
So he's saying that those cops who shot that 12-year-old kid in a park, they pulled up two feet away from him, shot him under two seconds, shot him dead, shot him dead.
And then he's also talking about that kid who was, he had picked up an air rifle that they sold at the Walmart.
Nobody from Walmart called any cops.
There was another shopper who called and said, this guy's waving the gun at people.
The cops show up with their assault rifles.
They just shoot him.
They didn't say put the gun down.
They just shot him.
And by the way, they've both been cleared, right?
There are no charges against either of these people, either of these cops in these cop killing.
And everybody who watches that videotape knows that these cops.
And by the way, that one cop was already kicked off another force.
We read that.
I read it to you on the show last or two weeks ago.
So the guy was such a bad cop that the other police force he worked for got rid of him.
They're like, this guy is horrible.
So here, literally, that's what the so here, there's more of this.
Cleveland police officers work with the Clean Browns hand in hand, and he disrespects two of our officers.
He's disrespecting everybody else.
But, okay, you guys disagree on that.
Why should he apologize?
So, Ari doesn't go, you're kidding me.
You think it's justified to shoot a 12-year-old kid in a park?
That's your standard procedure?
Pull up two feet away from him and shoot him dead in under two seconds.
That's what you're saying, and you don't understand that you sound like a maniac?
Like, he doesn't say that.
We're under threat from that toy gun.
Yeah, he doesn't feared for their lives.
And by the way, Ohio's an open carry state.
So, he does, so he was a black and he was a kid, 12, not even a teenager, and they shot him dead.
And Ari doesn't say that to him.
He goes, So, you think that's good procedure?
That you're not even, you don't even think, wow, we should reform our procedure with kids in playgrounds with toy guns?
Nothing.
He doesn't say, he goes, He doesn't say, You don't, you know, you sound like a maniac.
He doesn't say this.
Here we go.
To you, why shouldn't you apologize to him?
You have a disagreement about the facts of the case and how to proceed.
So, he says to the cop, why don't you just apologize for him?
You guys are having a disagreement.
Why should he?
So, that's kind of a weak, weak, weak argument.
It doesn't make any sense, really.
So, and here's what the cop says back: Well, we're not apologizing to anybody.
I mean, justice calling for justice on two of our officers through the, you know, they need to do it to us because they're disrespecting our officers on a job we do hard every day and a job that two officers were put in a position to by a male's actions.
What?
Yes, he what male's actions?
And Ari again doesn't go, do you understand how you sound completely disconnected from reality and that you're you sound like a maniac and that you sound like not only that, but a violent maniac?
Like, he doesn't say that to the guy.
It seems like there's something in the air at MSNBC and NBC where people don't hear what Shaney and this guy are saying to them.
Yeah.
He's like, and then he goes, Wait a minute, shouldn't you apologize?
He just lets them say all that stuff.
He just lets them take apart the premise.
The cops asking for an apology.
Isn't that a wussy, whiny, weakling kind of thing to do?
My feelings have been hurt because I shot a kid with a toy gun.
Apologize to me.
And he said that those cops were their life was put in danger because of what those males did.
They didn't do anything.
There was a kid in this park playing with a toy gun.
There was another guy carrying a gun they sold at the store.
I think what he's saying is they need to apologize for being black.
Yes.
Yeah.
You're right, Steph.
In the statement, you talk about providing serving and providing security for the stadium.
How is that relevant?
Oh, my God.
Well, a lot of police officers work there.
What?
Say again?
That's like a threat.
Yeah, it is a threat.
And then so Ari says, how is that relevant that you guys perform security for the state?
You perform security for the whole city.
What does that have to do with anything?
Here we go.
We are with the Browns organization.
When you're talking about two of our officers doing a justified shooting, you're talking about all of us.
Any one of us could have been in that circumstance.
Like, he calls it a justified shooting.
He doesn't say it was a huge, those were two huge mistakes.
He didn't say, you know, yes, we made big errors.
Those were errors.
And we're trying to rectify those so it doesn't happen again.
He's like, no, that's how we're supposed to do it.
And Ari doesn't go, you know, that's horrible.
That's crazy.
And if you think that, we should remove you.
He doesn't say those things.
He doesn't say any of that.
He just, here we go.
Sure, but I mean, are you implying that it's relevant somehow?
Are you implying that that security would change because of this disagreement?
No, we wouldn't change.
We're here for the community.
We're here for the people that go to the Browns games.
You know, we're here for the public.
Wow.
And when you say that he, as we read.
What's that, Frank?
He's there for the public, except for the ones he kills.
Except for the ones they kill with impunity.
Therefore, the Browns fence, but not for the Brown fence.
Yeah.
I have to say, Ari Belber is talking to this guy as if he's hoping he doesn't write him a speeding ticket.
Yes.
Yes, this is how Ari's talking to him.
And by the way, I've heard other people congratulate Ari on this interview.
I saw people tweet a link to this.
Great job, Ari.
Oh.
He's asking questions.
And not even hard.
Not even hard questions.
He's not.
Hey, here we go.
Read your statement, doesn't know the facts of the law.
How do you apply that logic?
Wouldn't that apply to any citizen who may not be a police expert, but has some legitimate view of police conduct?
I mean, don't you think at a certain point that this kind of reaction risks feeding the perception that some of these police unions or some folks here don't think they're accountable to public views?
Again, he couldn't be more mealymouth.
Don't you?
Aren't you afraid that this feeds the perception?
It's not a perception.
Don't you agree that killing unarmed kids is bad for public relations?
Yeah.
You know what?
It's like he's feeding him the answer.
That's exactly.
And he's hoping that he does.
Yes, yes, you're right.
Okay.
Well, he doesn't even cop to that.
No.
But that's a great way to put it, Frank.
Don't you think killing these unarmed black kids is bad for public relations?
That's pretty much what he just said.
Here we go.
There's more.
I'm going to play the whole thing.
You know, there's a video of this, and everything speaks for itself.
Their action, the male's action, spoke for itself.
I mean, the video clearly showed by the officer's statement that they were justified in the deadly force.
So he's talking about the video.
What video?
Of those cops pulling up two feet away from a 12-year-old kid with a toy gun and killing him.
And within two seconds.
And Ari doesn't go, again, he doesn't go, yeah, we watched the video.
Well, here's what he says.
You're saying the video clearly shows that the 12-year-old boy was an imminent lethal threat to the officers?
Oh, absolutely.
I don't know if you didn't see it, but yeah, absolutely.
And he doesn't go, and he doesn't go, and you're not under a doctor's care right now.
You're not on medication.
He doesn't show the video right now.
He's showing the video.
That's amazing.
And Ari doesn't go, and you're not under a doctor's care and you're not on medication right now.
God damn.
He just, he just, we have some of it up on the screen.
We're showing it.
I mean, there's tremendous disagreement about that.
There's tremendous disagreement.
Ari, why are you softpedaling this?
What do you get out of this?
Do you think it's more professional to soft pedal the news to people?
How is that?
When he gets out of it, if he gets to keep his job at MSAD, I guess you're, I mean, here we go.
In a lot of cases, that would cause constant probable cause for a crime unless there was a lethal threat to the officers.
But ultimately, that isn't your call, is it?
And it's not the athlete's call.
That's a call that has to go through the criminal justice system.
I guess what I'm trying to get at here from your statements and the reason why they've upset some people is that your statements seem to presuppose that the police union or police officers have the final word on the facts here.
You know that's not true.
You know we have a system here of criminal justice that leaves that decision up to grand juries and the criminal justice process, right?
And people are free to talk about it.
So that's like one good job he did there.
He finally kind of deconstructed this guy's ridiculous logic and he put it back.
He goes, you guys aren't the final word.
We know it goes to juries.
It goes to grand juries.
And the public is allowed to talk about this stuff.
So why are you demanding it apologize?
So, he did do a good.
It's the grand juries that are supposed to let the killers off.
Yeah.
They're free to talk about it, but it shouldn't be talked on a football field where we are supporting the Browns by doing security every day when we support the Browns.
Are you saying this is what I'm trying to understand?
You just said before, of course, it wouldn't change your approach.
Why does your security that you provide and police bravely provide security for entire cities, stadiums, and not, why would that affect his free speech rights to voice an opinion here?
I mean, you're not really answering that question.
He kind of wants his opinion, and that's fine, but I'm just saying that calling for justice for his opinion on what happened that day, he's wrong.
That's what he was saying.
And it was cleared by a city, these two were cleared by a city prosecutor already.
This shooting was justified.
Like I said, it's a tragedy, but it was justified.
So, to be clear, then, if you're saying he can state it, then are you withdrawing the request for an apology for him to state the view, or he can state it, but he has to also apologize?
You know, I'm not saying, you know, I'm not withdrawing anything.
You know, he disrespected police officers who were doing out there doing disrespected.
He's surrounded by police officers.
When you're talking about two of us that were put in a situation like these two, where you're talking about all of us.
And what do you think on just a more human level, if I can ask?
You heard his statement talking about his child and these fears, and a lot of people talking about that conversation around the country.
Does your heart go out to people who are worried about their children unarmed losing their lives in these kind of incidents?
Well, it depends what you're saying, what's unarmed.
I mean, this male was obviously not, he wasn't unarmed.
He's a child, but they thought to be a gun, and they also thought him to be 20 years old.
He's 20 years old.
We're not sitting here today.
Sure, but you're well aware of many of the other cases.
I know it's outside your state.
He just said, Yeah, so first of all, he said he keeps calling him a male instead of the child, which is he keeps calling, and Ari keeps letting him do that.
And he said, You know, if the kid was 20 years old, they thought he was 20 years old.
If he's 20, we're not sitting here today.
Yeah, but he wasn't 20.
He was 12.
You mean if the facts of the case were different?
They're not different.
The facts are what they are.
Yeah, if the facts were completely different, that's the argument the guy just made.
So, because the cops got it all wrong, when they approached the 12-year-old child, and because the city prosecutor let the cops off, the public can no longer express their opinion about it.
Yes, according to this guy, according to this guy.
Okay.
But the Eric Gardner case or other cases, what do you think about the concern people have that folks are being killed in some cases by officers when there's less than a lethal threat posed?
How about this?
Listen to police officers' commands, listen to what we tell us, tell you, and just stop.
I think that eliminates a lot of problems.
I have kids too.
They know how to respect the law.
They know what to do when a police officer comes up to them.
I think the nation needs to realize that when we tell you to do something, do it.
And if you're wrong, you're wrong.
If you're right, then the courts will figure it out.
All right, Jeffrey Fulmer, we wanted to have you on to get your perspective.
Yeah, there you go.
All right.
We wanted to have you on to get your perspective.
You know his perspective.
You know, why didn't you give him addressing?
I don't know.
Am I being too hard on Ari Melbourne?
Thank you for shedding your darkness on the issue.
Yes.
Again, he thanks him for coming on.
You know, Jeff Fulmar, he said, it's pretty pathetic when athletes think they know the law.
They should stick to what they know best on the field, he said.
Yeah, everybody.
And should shut up and singers should be quiet.
You know, like plenty of athletes.
Muhammad Adli, you know, stood in protest for the Vietnam War.
You know?
Yes.
I mean, how many athletes time and time again have had to use their position to actually examine real social issues that are impacting all of us?
And I think if anyone knows what pointless violence is, it's football players.
Joining us on the phone is Texas Governor Rick Perry.
Hi, Jimmy.
Governor, you sound a little bit down.
Is everything okay, buddy?
Jimmy, do you regret the feeling life is passing you by?
Ultimately, your most cherished dreams will never come true.
And the love that you want, the profound love that you hold in the deepest, most secret part of your heart is something you will never know.
And several times a day, you try to be alone just so you can cry for no reason.
Governor, I know what that's like, actually.
I absolutely have felt that way sometimes.
Well, hey, I never have.
I don't have that kind of sense of depression, you East Coast elitist kid.
Governor, I live on the West Coast.
You live closer to the East Coast than I do.
Whatever.
But I am a bit down.
This whole torture thing has me feeling really left out.
Left out?
How so?
I hear all this talk about folks being degraded and waterboarded and dehumanized.
I can't help but think, dang, that's the exact kind of thing we should be doing here in Texas.
Really?
Yeah.
And I think that the CIA is taking all the credit for rectal feeding like they invented it or something.
They didn't?
No, man.
We've been doing that in the Lone Star State since the days of Sam Easton.
Only we do rectal feeding Texas style.
You know, I'm afraid to ask what that is.
Well, you take a barbecued pig, put it on spittle, and you take your pants and sit on it like he was riding a pony.
I don't want to hear this.
Then you let that hunk of pork simmer and spin between your butt cheeks for a while.
And slowly, and I mean slowly, you let the juices marinate while the roasted pig works its way gradually up your angus.
That's enough, Governor.
Please stop.
Okay, but you know what?
It is plum delicious.
Down on traditional way to have a rectal feed.
I'm not sure you knew this, but food in general is much less fattening when you eat it through your ass.
I don't care, Governor.
Maybe Chris Christie should start digesting his food that way.
But he can't fit any food in his book because his hedge is already so far up it.
Wow.
Sounds like you have some bitterness towards your rivals for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination.
Oh, they're all just a bunch of silly billies.
Language, Governor.
Language.
The flavors of this month is Jeb Bush.
All the big Republican donors are excited about him running for president.
Well, I met Jeb Bush and he's a dick.
What?
He's all like, oh, look at me.
I'm Jeb Bush.
I'm so cool.
He thinks this shit don't stink, man.
But I would never claim that my shit don't stink.
No one will believe it because I just told you that I enjoy rectal barbecue.
You're being honest.
I'll give you that.
Jamie, I'm cool.
I'm really cool.
But ain't nobody knows it.
For instance, did you know that we have a really cool music scene out here in Austin, Texas?
Yeah, I knew that, but I didn't think you were a part of it.
Sure as hell I am.
At least once a week, I like to drive my SUV to the middle of downtown Austin, and then I park my car.
Spent an hour listening to my messed up Barry Mail OCD.
You trying to tell me that ain't true?
But, Governor, what about all the music clubs in Austin where all kinds of cutting-edge bands are playing every night?
I don't know what you're talking about, Jamie.
I'll have one of my heights looking to you.
Well, Governor, thanks for joining us.
Jamie, one more thing.
I hear that you helped some Mexican gal get a great car by marrying her.
No, that's my wife, Steph, and she was born and raised in America.
Yeah, right.
I wait for Christmas.
I'm going to send you both a Texas barbecued ass roast to pay.
We're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
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All right.
Let's get back to the second half.
We got phone calls from Mitt Romney coming up and Dick Cheney's going to call in.
Plus, Edwin Umanias is going to share a police brutality story firsthand, a firsthand police brutality story coming up in the second half.
Music.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
We got a lot coming up in the second half.
I'm joined by Frank Connett from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Also in the studio with me from the Young Turks, Edwin Umanya, also from the blog The Miserable Liberal at Steph Zamorano.
And on the phone from San Francisco, it's hilarious writer Mark Van Landuitt.
We're going to talk with Dick Cheney coming up, and we're going to talk about torture.
Plus, we're also going to hear from Mitt Romney.
And we're going to take a look at Brian Williams' latest BS commercial.
Right now, let's get back to the studio and we're going to pick up our conversation about police brutality in Cleveland.
In the interview, Ari Melbourne of MSNBC did with the police union president from Cleveland.
And we were talking specifically about the football player from the Cleveland Browns who wore a t-shirt on Sunday that said justice for the 12-year-old kid who was shot dead by two Cleveland.
Also, this whole interview was basically this cop.
It was his modern way of saying, moving along, nothing to see here.
Show's over.
Yes, correct, right?
I mean, am I being too hard on Ari Melber here, Frank?
I don't think so.
I mean, no, I think it wasn't a complete, it was a completely unsatisfying interview for me as a viewer.
And it's like, if you're going to bring this guy on and just give him a platform and not really call him out, he didn't frame the issue correctly.
He didn't, he just let the guy say stuff.
And it was, it was amazing.
I think from here, and I think Ari Melber is a highly capable, highly intelligent, highly skilled guy who wants to keep his job at MSNBC.
I guess you're right.
I guess you're right.
Wouldn't it be a ratings killer if he started drilling down on this bizarre specimen?
Well, it's not a question of it being a ratings killer.
It's a question if he confronts people in power, the management at MSNBC is going to call him on the carpet for.
Meanwhile, both Red Fox News, they're slut-shaming left and right rape victims.
They don't have any problem doing that, but Ari Melber won't even stand up to a cop, a maniac.
That guy's a maniac.
This was his victory lap.
This was his victory.
Exactly.
He's a maniac and he's spinning like he's never spun before.
Yes.
And exactly what Edwin just said, that this cop came on the liberal MSNBC and he got to do a victory lap.
He went on there flexing his muscle saying, yeah, those were justified killings and we do it again.
We do it again.
And because of that, this fucking pisses me off.
This really fucking pisses me off because, all right, so yeah.
So I grew up in Compton.
I grew up in Compton, very rough, rough area.
The cops know that the union is going to get their back no matter what.
Right.
The cops never have any kind of consequences.
A few years ago, a few years ago, I was driving to a friend's house in the morning, 10 a.m.
I turned the corner to find a parking spot.
I didn't notice that a cop was following me.
The cop turns on the lights.
And both my windows are down.
Both of the cops, both of the cops get out, start yelling at me, you know, put my hands up.
They have the guns drawn.
And I'm freaking out.
I didn't do anything.
Both of the cops started approaching, started approaching my vehicle.
One police officer tells me, get out the car.
The moment I told him no, because I know my rights.
Yeah.
I told him no.
That was the worst thing that I've ever said.
Right.
Because the moment that I said that, he reached into my car.
He opened the door, took off my seatbelt, grabbed me, threw me up against my car, and he just started manhandling me.
He started twisting my arm.
And look, last week, last week, there was Peter King was saying, oh, well, people say, oh, you're breaking my arm.
Like, yeah, you're breaking my arm or whatever.
Guess what the police say?
The police always say, stop resisting arrest.
Why?
Because they know that they, because they know that they're like, yeah, they're being taped.
So they need, so they need to cover their ass.
So they keep yelling at the cop, like, yeah, the cop was almost to the point of breaking my arm.
And he just kept, and he just kept yelling at me, stop resisting arrest.
Motherfucker, what?
What resist was I doing?
I wasn't doing any like, ah, shit, man.
Yeah, I just wasn't doing anything.
And it was just for them to get their kicks.
Yes.
Yeah, they went through my car.
They rated everything.
They like, yeah, they checked my pockets.
They fucked with me like horrible.
And because they know that nothing's going to happen to them.
Nothing.
They could get away with this kind of shit.
In Cleveland, they could get away with murder in New York and Missouri and Compton.
This is things that we experience on a daily basis.
And didn't they play Good Cop Bad Cop?
Didn't they try to convince you to confess to something was in your car?
Actually, yeah, they did.
So one cop kept asking me, where do you have the drugs?
What drugs?
So then he told me, look, if we find, if we find drugs in your car, the consequences are going to be worse.
Like, yeah, we're going to come down harder on you than what you expect.
And I told him, all right, go ahead.
Try to find whatever you can.
I have nothing.
Then he asked me, where's the weapon?
What weapon?
I don't have anything.
Then he told me the same thing.
If you don't tell me, if you don't tell me, things Are going to get worse from here.
So, look, yeah, these people, these people, fucking scumbags, scumbags.
And to hear that union rep going on and saying, and say, oh, like, yeah, they should, you know, the flip, the football team should apologize to us because we got our feelings hurt.
Forget the families, like, yeah, who we just devastated.
Right.
You know, and Edwin, you felt like you had no recourse.
No.
Yeah, nothing.
Nothing.
I like, yeah, I couldn't do anything.
I felt violated.
Soon after, like, yeah, I went to the Compton courthouse to try to file a complaint, which is so stupid.
Yeah, they weren't going to do anything.
They just kept giving me, they're running around.
Oh, yeah, you got to go to this room.
You got to go to that room.
Oh, do you have the opposite?
Do you have the officer's name?
Do you have their number?
Oh, where's this?
Where's that?
And like, yeah, it was just horrible.
It's just a waste of time.
And like, yeah, I just gave up.
But this is something that this is something that people in, like, yeah, in the minority communities, this is something that we go through every single day.
Right.
You know, Jimmy Frisk in New York City.
Jimmy was sharing this link with me recently that these.
Yep.
I'm sorry, but I think, sir, you owe the police an apology.
I do.
I apologize to our police right now in Compton.
Jimmy, didn't you have a link that you were watching that you saw that these protesters.
So there was some racist who put a link on one of my videos on YouTube.
He said, oh, look at this.
So it's this other racist guy who has a YouTube channel, and he had video of these black people in St. Louis, and they had surrounded these cops.
It was maybe 15 or 20 cops.
And they were screaming at them, get out of my neighborhood.
They were swearing, get the F out of my neighborhood.
What are you doing in my neighborhood?
You don't live here?
Get out of here.
What are you doing here?
Get out of here.
And then they were swearing at him.
They started kicking their cars.
And the cops were just standing there not saying anything.
And the one black guy kept yelling at him, where's your smirk now?
Where's your smirk now?
Go for your gun.
Shoot me because we're going to shoot back.
And it was unbelievable.
There must have been, I don't know, a couple hundred black people out, right, or surrounding these guys.
And the video went on for like 20 minutes.
Like, it was really, they were not messing around with these cops, right?
And I don't understand why the cops didn't call for backup immediately.
There was, I don't know, it was maybe what I could see was maybe 15 or 20 cops, couple of them in suits.
Yeah.
And the cop, and the black guys were getting right in their face, calling them, they go, oh, you know what?
Because you're a bitch.
That's why you're a coward.
And they're flipping him off right in their face and shining a flashlight right in the cop's face going, you do this to me all the time.
I'm doing it back to you.
And so this racist guy's YouTube page was, he was trying to show this.
Look at these hubs.
This is what blacks, this is what they're really like.
And I got to tell you, the whole time I was watching that video, I was like, it made me feel good.
It made me feel good.
I felt good.
Yeah.
Also, Jimmy says, since he was presenting this as an equivalency of what the cops are doing to black people, how many of those cops did those black people kill?
They didn't hit any of them.
They didn't shoot any of them.
They didn't hit any of them.
They didn't shoot any of them.
They didn't kill any of them.
They didn't arrest any of them.
They didn't tie somebody down.
They didn't torture them.
They didn't cuff them and break their arm.
They didn't pepper spray them.
They didn't tear gas them.
They didn't do anything to them.
They yelled at them.
They yelled at them and they kicked their car when they were driving away.
That's what kind of animals they were.
They showed more restraint than cops ever show.
So I bet that same racist YouTuber looking at footage of Clivin Bundy.
Taxes and his friends had guns aimed at cops.
I'm sure he would consider them right-wing martyrs of freedom.
I immediately went and exactly what I posted on his pays.
I guess you guys didn't see any of the video from Clivin Bundy's ranch where they had assault rifles pointed at the cops.
None of these black guys had a gun.
None of them.
Let's remember who's in prison.
Not the torturers.
Not the guys who killed the 12-year-old kid in the park.
Not the guys who killed the black guy carrying around an air gun inside of a Walmart that they sell at Walmart.
You know who's in prison?
Not the guys who choked Eric Garner on video in the middle of the day on a Staten Island street, choked him and killed, strangled him.
None of those guys.
You know who's in prison?
The guy who filmed it?
And the guy who told us about the CIA torture.
Those are the two guys who are in prison right now.
Well, the one guy's charged with the crime and the CIA guy who blew the lid off the CIA.
He's in prison for 30 months right now for giving away state secrets.
It's a secret that we torture people.
I don't know if you know that.
It's a secret that we commit war crimes.
It's a secret.
And if you give that secret up, you go to jail.
Not the guys who are doing the war crimes.
We're in a nation of adult children of alcoholics.
Now, I know a little bit of...
My grandpa was a big alcoholic.
It doesn't skip generations.
My dad was a dry drunk.
And what happens is you don't get angry at the alcoholic.
You get angry at the person who says that that guy's an alcoholic.
Shut up!
Shut up!
Why are you bringing it up?
That's who they get angry at.
And that's what happens in America.
We're not angry at the torturers.
We're not angry at Dick Cheney, who goes on TV and brags about ordering war crimes with impunity.
We put the guy in prison who told us about it.
We put the guy in prison who filmed the guy choking, strangling Eric Garner.
That guy gets arrested.
We're the complete opposite of Peru.
So the ex-president of Peru, Alberto Fujimori, he's now serving a 25-year prison sentence for human rights violations.
Because back in the 90s, he went after his political opponents.
He tortured.
He ordered mass executions of people who were against them.
When the new administration came in after he was outed, they went after him and they went after him hard.
Right now, he's sitting in prison.
He's fucking rotting.
And yet, here in the United States, we have George Bush and Dick Cheney running around with their victory lap, flexing their muscles, saying, yeah, we do it again.
I'm doing it again in a minute.
That's what Dick Cheney said.
Yes, as he goes back to his $35 million ranch that he got a check from Halliburton for.
Thank God we have Brian Williams to report the news, though.
I'm sure Brian Williams will get on him.
Well, this is the one issue that Barack Obama won't compromise about, which is not prosecuting this issue.
He will not budge.
Contributor is I, Mick Romney.
Hey, Mitt.
How are things going?
Oh, I'm borrowed.
I'm so borish.
I'm reading the emails in my spam folder.
So I decided to give you a call.
I appreciate that, I guess.
Jimmy, isn't this a wonderful time of year?
I love the season and watching colors change to red in advertisements.
What kind of things are you doing this holiday season?
Well, I do a lot of work for charity.
You do a lot of charity work?
That's nice.
Charity's like milk for millionaires all around the planet.
Multi-millionaires are suffering, suffering from taxes, regulations, and alimony payments.
What about People who are not millionaires, Mitt.
Well, they're important, too.
I love giving gifts to my employees, particularly gifts printed on slips of pink paper.
I don't think anyone thinks that's a gift.
Well, it's more of a gift to myself.
Mitt, Republicans are saying that you're going to sit out the 2016 election if Jeb runs for president, Jeb Bush.
Is that true?
Jimmy, I'm not running for president.
Did you see the polls have me as the top potential Republican candidate for president?
I did.
I only mention it because I'm not running for president.
I see.
After the party gets a load of Chris Christie, Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, they'll come to me on bent knee and beg me to be their leader.
I will be humble and accept the edict, thus fulfilling my destiny and fulfilling the prophecies, instigating the second coming of Jesus to Jackson County, Missouri, making it the state's biggest tourist trap, other than Branson.
So that's the only reason to become president?
Oh, no.
Jimmy, I love the campaign trail.
Getting out and meeting the folks, the regular people, the plebs.
I'm a people person.
You say so.
It was gratifying having all those good, decent Americans come up to me, shake my hand, and whisper in my ear that they hope I beat the N-word.
Mitt, enough about politics.
What will your family be doing this holiday season?
Well, traditions are very important to us in the Romney household.
For instance, the annual wrapping of Christmas lights around the dog and throwing him into the swimming pool.
That's horrible.
Oh, the pool's heated.
Christmas Day, we all gather around the Christmas tree and my sons Craig, Josh, Tag, Chip, Otter, Pepsi, and Xavier open their presents.
What are you getting them this year?
We got some Guatemalan housekeepers.
He's doing a good job of this one.
Oh, Mitt.
Ann needs to poke holes in the boxes so they stay fresh.
Okay, we've been talking to failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney about his running in 2016.
Thank you for talking with us.
I hope your wife leaves you while you're burying your dog on Christmas Day when Santa brings you the gift of cancer.
Whoa, Mitt, that's a little too strong, even for me, buddy.
That's awful.
Jimmy, you're my best friend in the world.
Okay, talk to you later.
Bye-bye.
All right, that was Mitt Romney.
You're his best friend.
I'm his best friend.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
So, Brian Williams, we know this, used to bring on generals.
One of those guys is General Barry McCaffrey.
I'll give you an example, right?
And this is from the New York Times.
In the spring of 2007, a tiny military contractor with a slender track record went shopping for a precious Beltway commodity.
The company, Defense Solutions, sought the services of a retired general with national stature, someone who could open doors at the highest levels of government and help it win a huge prize, the right to supply Iraq with thousands of armored vehicles.
Access like that doesn't come cheap, but it was an opportunity potentially worth billions of dollars in sales, and Defense Solutions soon found its man.
The company signed Barry R. McCaffrey, a retired four-star Army general and military analyst for NBC News to a consulting contract starting in June 15, 2007.
Four days later, the general swung into action.
He sent a personal note and a 15-page briefing packet to Petraeus, the commanding general in Iraq, strongly recommending Defense Solutions and its offer to supply Iraq with 5,000 armored vehicles from Eastern Europe.
No other proposal is quicker, less costly, and more certain to succeed, he said.
Then within days of hiring McCaffrey, the Defense Solutions sales pitch was in the hands of the American commander with the greatest influence over Iraqi's military.
That's what I pay him for, said the chief executive officer of Defense Solutions in an interview.
McCaffrey did not mention his new contract with Defense Solutions in his letter to General Petraeus, nor did he disclose it when he went on to see NBC that same week and praised the commanders.
Defense Solutions was now counting on for help.
He got to the heart of the lion, or when he told Congress the next month that it should immediately supply Iraq with large numbers of armored vehicles and other equipment.
He had made similar arguments before, and he was hired by this, before he was hired by Defense Solutions.
But this time he went further.
In his testimony to Congress, General McCafferty criticized the Pentagon plan to supply Iraq with several hundred armored vehicles made of the United States by a competitor.
He called the plan not in the right ballpark and urged Congress to instead equip Iraq with 5,000 armored vehicles.
So through seven years of war, an exclusive club has quietly flourished at the intersection of network news and wartime commerce.
Its members, mostly retired generals, have had a foot in both camps as influential network military analysts and defense industry rainmakers.
It is a deeply opaque world, a place of privileged access to senior government officials where war commentary can fit hand in glove with undisclosed commercial interests and network executives are sometimes oblivious to possible conflicts of interest.
Few illustrate the submerged complexities of this world better than Barry McCaffrey.
I assume right after you read this, you're going to read Ryan Williams Maya Copa about all this.
His apology to the American public.
In the years since 9-11, McCafferty has made 1,000 appearances on NBC and its cable sisters, delivering crisp soundbites in a blunt, hyperbolic style.
He commands up to $25,000 for speeches.
His commentary regularly turns up in the Wall Street Journal, and he has been quoted or cited in thousands of news articles, including dozens in the New York Times.
His influence is such that President Bush and congressional leaders from both parties have invited him in for war consultations.
His access is such that despite a contentious relationship with Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, the Pentagon has arranged numerous trips for him to Iraq, Afghanistan, and other hotspots solely for his benefit.
At the same time, so there you go.
So this is the guy who would go on NBC.
Brian Williams never told you about that.
Never told you about that.
Never ever told you about that.
And after this story broke, the only thing I ever read Brian Williams Said about it.
He said it in a blog.
He said, I've heard these charges, and I can assure you.
And there were two other generals, I think, who were also implicated in this.
And he said, I've heard these charges, and I can assure you that these men are great patriots.
That was his answer to this whole thing.
Oh.
His business interests were never described to NBC viewers.
He is held out as a dispassionate expert, not someone who helps companies win contracts related to the wars he discusses on their news shows.
The president of NBC News, Steve Kappas, said in an interview that General McCafferty was a man of honor and achievement who would never let business obligations color his analysts' analysis for NBC.
He described McCafferty as an independent voice who had courageously challenged Mr. Rumsfeld, adding, There's no open microphone that begins with the Pentagon and ends with him going out over our airways.
The network news is covered with military contractors who are contributors and advisors brought in to speak on any event that's happening about foreign policy.
So General McCaffrey isn't, he said, General McCaffrey is not required to abide by NBC's formal conflict of interest rules, Mr. Kappas said, because he is a consultant and not a news employee, nor is he required to disclose his business interests periodically.
But Mr. Kappas said that the network had conversations with its military analysts about the need to avoid even the appearance of a conflict and that General McCafferty had been incredibly forthcoming about his ties to the military contracts.
Wow.
McCafferty thinks.
There's not an appearance of conflict of interest.
There is a conflict of interest.
General McCaffrey declined to be interviewed for this news article.
Wow, that's weird because he's always willing to go on NSNBC and be interviewed.
I thought he loved being interviewed.
That's so surprising.
So I knew all this, right?
So I knew all this information that was gotten to us by the New York Times.
And then I was sitting at home watching a football game on NBC, and this commercial came on for Brian Williams.
It's a thing that you build slowly over time.
It can happen during big moments.
More often, it's the day-to-day things.
and what you build if you work hard enough if you respect it is a powerful thing called trust So there you go.
If you respect it, he's built trust.
It's a powerful thing that Brian Williams has built up after thousands of appearances by defense, the defense, defense tools bought and paid for by defense contractors.
And what are the images in the promo?
It's one thing if he didn't know about it and then said afterwards, wow, we shouldn't have done that.
That would have been messed up if he had not known about it.
But the fact that they've offered no apology and no correcting of this, just presenting it as if it's okay.
I mean, it's just amazing.
Jimmy, you know, I will say, granted, Brian Williams has misinformed the public in a way that has led to thousands of innocent deaths.
But I love it when he does those raps with Jimmy Fallon.
On the phone, we have former vice president and a man who taught us all how to live without having a physical heart.
Vice President Cheney, I have to say that I talked to some pretty unsavory characters on this show, but you might take the cake.
I don't think I've ever talked to someone as rotten as you are.
Mm-hmm.
LAUGHTER So this torture report came out, and the entire country got to see just exactly what you and your cronies were up to for eight years.
And America isn't too happy about it, to say the least.
What do you have to say to those who don't want this type of sadistic stuff being done in their name?
Are you alive?
What?
Are you still alive?
Yes, I'm still alive.
Well, you're welcome.
I'll have my assistant pass my office address along so you can send me a Hickory Farms gift basket.
Mr. Vice President, don't forget the summer sausage.
I am not, nor is anyone else inclined to thank you for my existence because you orchestrated a completely illegal black site torture program.
Didn't great.
So I should point out that what we did wasn't illegal and it wasn't torture.
How was it not illegal?
Because it wasn't torture.
It was called enhanced interrogation.
Did you read the descriptions of the stuff?
Standing on broken legs, anal rehydration, which is really anal rape, waterboarding, which we already convicted and hung the Japanese for.
Doesn't that sound, I don't know, a little torturous?
No, because torture is illegal, so we can't do it.
You see how this works?
I love these lawyers, right?
This is making me sick.
Do you feel that?
Feel what?
The warm blanket of safety and security enveloping you and your loved ones.
You know, I'm sorry, Mr. Cheney, but if you think anyone is any safer anywhere because of our torture program, you're a bona fide lunatic.
America's the greatest country in the world.
And don't give me that horse crap.
I'm pretty sure you have to follow the Geneva Convention just to be a good country, let alone the greatest country.
Do you know why we even have the Geneva Convention in the first place?
Huh?
After the horrors of World War II, the international community decided that the types of atrocities committed by the Nazis must never happen again.
And who defeated the Nazis?
America.
So we are responsible for the Geneva Conventions even coming about in the first place.
So we get to bend them around if we want to.
First of all, the Soviets beat the Nazis.
Freedom.
Freedom.
And second of all.
Power.
Power.
And second of all, the fact that you think we can get all bendy with the Geneva Convention is a little troubling.
You know, even people in your own party are starting to bail on you.
John McCain said it was shameful what we did.
Wow.
What are you talking about?
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
John McCain doesn't know.
The guy was tortured for four years.
Well, I tortured people for eight years, so I think I know more about torture than he does.
What do you say to the argument, which is my argument, that when you torture someone, it doesn't mean that they're bad people.
What it Actually, does it reveals a sick, depraved soul in us?
And it doesn't matter how bad the other person is.
The fact that we're supposed to have values that we're willing to die for, not willing to get rid of and chuck as soon as we think it'll save someone's life.
Well, those are values that we are protecting by our efforts overseas.
And in order to successfully implement these tactics, we have to employ enhanced interrogation techniques.
Okay.
So that we can have the values that make that sort of behavior reprehensible in the eye.
It is admittedly a bit of a catch-22.
Okay, well, I think we just gave everyone a perfect representation of securitist logic.
Am I right?
If securitist logic is required to keep Americans safe tonight, I more than willing to engage in it, and I would do it again.
I'm actually okay.
Well, you know.
I will engage in a mobius strip of lies in order to protect ourselves.
Obviously.
And how'd you like Chuck Todd?
You think he's any better than David Gregory?
It's about the same.
Yeah, I agree.
I think it's worse because people act, some people actually think Chuck Todd is actually smarter than David Gregory.
And he's yeah, those guys are both C-minus students at best.
It's rich.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'm not throwing on a real hardball segment when I go in there.
It's more like a hot knife through my face.
Yes, I saw.
Well, listen, Mr. Former Vice President, normally when you do interviews like this, they say thanks for coming on.
I appreciate your time.
But I'll just say you're a depraved, sick, subhuman person.
And I don't thank you for anything.
Well, I appreciate that.
Thank you very much.
Okay, bye-bye.
Thanks.
And I will destroy you.
Okay, thank you for having me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I want to remind everybody: there's no better Christmas gift than your country is just not that into you.
That's right, available on he has an e-book at iBookTunes.
It's also available as a hard book.
And if you need some ammunition, or if someone you know needs some ammunition to rebut your stupid right-wing teabagging uncle who's going to say a bunch of stupid shit, I've got it right inside your country.
It's just not that into you.
It's a great, go get it.
It's go get it.
And use the Amazon link at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Okay?
Hey, how about that, Dick Cheney, huh?
Fantastic.
That was Mike McRae doing all the voices this week.
And he even wrote the Dick Cheney sketch.
Sketches today written by Mark Van Landuet.
Frank Connoff.
Frank Connoff writes the monologue.
Thank God I'm very thankful to all my this sounds like a Thanksgiving thing, but it's for my happy holidays.
I'm saying thanks to all my writers and all the great talent I'm surrounded by on the show.
And so guess what?
There's a lot more in this week's premium content.
It's going to be a double episode.
You get all that extra Liam Neeson stuff from last week.
Liam Neeson does impressions.
That's what this, yes, he does.
Liam Neeson shows that he can do impressions.
Plus, we have all the stuff from Dick Cheney being on Meet the Press that we didn't get to, and there's some more crazy stuff that happened on MSNBC about torture.
So there's a lot of stuff happening.
Double episode this week's premium content.
How do I get it, Jimmy?
How do I get the premium?
Oh, by the way, the Pope.
The Pope calls in.
That's right.
The Pope's in this week's premium content also.
So I don't know if you heard, but the Pope, there were some people who called the Pope and said, hey, these priests molested me.
So you know what the Pope did?
He called the cops.
Yeah, he called the guys who said they were molested, apologized to him, and he called the cops on those priests.
And I was talking about this with Ben Mankowicz, and Ben was like, so what do you think of that?
I was like, boy, that is amazing that the Pope did exactly what anybody else would do in that situation.
Like we're all shitting ourselves because the Pope actually acted like anybody else would have acted.
We're not used to that happening from the Catholics.
So that would usually they harbor pedophiles.
It's weird that he actually decided to call the cops.
So the Pope calls in.
We got that in the premium content.
There's lots of stuff.
Treat yourself.
It's the holidays.
Treat yourself or a friend to the premium content.
And if you're stealing it, then you can't afford it.
That's okay.
But if you can't afford it and you're stealing it, I hope you burn in hell.
Okay.
That's from me to you.
Okay, I'll see you December 25, 26.
No, no, December 26, 27 at Flappers and Burbank.
Come out.
We're going to have a lot of special drop-in fun guests.
And I'm going to guess I'm going to be feeling loosey-goosey after that Christmas.
So if you're tired of...
I'm going to guess they're going to be $5.
I'm not sure, but I think they are.
So swing over to JimmyDorkomedy.com and you click on that link and we're going to get the Jimmy Dorf show listeners a special discount because it's the day after Christmas for fuck's sake.
Okay.
So that's it.
I'll see you then.
That's this week's show.
Today's show was written by Mark Van Landu and Frank Connor, Mike McRae, Steph Zemorano, and Robert Yasimura.
All right, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying happy holidays.
We'll see you then.
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