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Nov. 1, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:25
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Hey, before we get to the show, I want to let you know there's a big TV taping happening Friday, November 7th at the El Portel Theater.
The TV taping is my comedy special.
That's right.
It's my one-hour comedy special, so come check it out, and you can get tickets for free.
That's right, Jimmy Dorf fans, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, and there's a link there.
You click it, and you make your reservation.
It doesn't cost anything.
It's free.
It's a TV taping.
Okay, so we'll see you November 7th at the El Portal Theater in North Hollywood for the big comedy special one-hour taping.
And then guess what?
Monday, if you listen to this show before Monday the 3rd, the 3rd, I'm doing a special show.
I'm warming up for that special Monday night at the Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California.
There's also a link for free tickets to that show over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
It's a 7.30 p.m. show, and I'm going to be previewing the hour.
It's a small room, 50 seats.
So it's a little too intimate, I'll be honest.
So come check that out.
If you can't make the Friday night taping, come to the Monday night show at the Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank at the 7.30 show.
I'll be previewing my one-hour special.
There's a link, free tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Now let's get to the show.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore show.
So the Supreme Court effectively upheld the Texas voter ID law because, honestly, I don't think they even show up anymore.
I feel like they just rolled D ⁇ D dice at this point.
And of course, this law is a transparent effort to disenfranchise voters that would otherwise vote for Democrats.
You can tell this because you understand words.
Liberals are rightly losing their minds, but not me because I see this as an opportunity that could motivate and invigorate the liberal movement more than it has been in 40 years.
I'm talking to you, idealistic college students, who I actually find extremely annoying.
Next summer, how's about you take some of that fucking and drinking energy that you got and get your asses to one of those godforsaken states I don't live in?
And guess what?
Unlike your predecessors, they probably won't turn fire hoses on you or sick dogs on you, you bunch of entitled pussies.
Go door to door and make sure people are registered.
Make sure they have proper ID.
Make sure they can physically cast a ballot.
And maybe, while you're at it, you could really explain to them how badly Whitey is fucking them.
And remember, a lot of these people will be older black and Hispanic women who will give you really good food, hard candy, and a crisp $5 bill on your birthday.
And will I not be doing this?
because I am too old to be away from a good mattress.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's Roger Farmer T. And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Welcome to this week's show.
I'm joined on the phone from New York City in Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its new podcasts.
It's called Pot House 90.
The most recent episode is Dracula has risen in the polls.
It's TV's Frank Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hello there.
Yay, it's good to have you.
How was your, didn't you have a show last Saturday, Frank?
Last week, I was in Minneapolis.
For a Comic-Con, right?
I did, yeah.
It was called Crypticon, and it was held at the Ramada Inn by the airport.
And to be a severely depressed person like myself staying at a Ramada Inn by the airport, it's like a man on fire walking into a burning building.
But the people at the convention were very nice.
Oh, I'm sure.
I'm sure.
You didn't stay to a Marriott?
No, it was the Ramada Inn, which, you know, didn't have modern amenities like restaurants that room serve it.
And everything's kind of gray inside, even though the walls aren't white.
Yeah, I know that.
It made the Hotel of the Shining look here.
I've stayed at that hotel.
I have.
All right.
Also on the phone, a hilarious comedy writer from San Francisco, who is also the curator of the Jazz Festival that's happening right now.
What is the name of the jazz?
It's Mark Van Landuen.
Hey, Mark, how are you?
Hi, everybody.
Now, what is the name of your jazz festival, Mark?
Well, for listeners in the San Francisco Bay Area, it is the Adventures in Jazz Concert Series, which you can see in San Ramon.
And on November 8th, you can come out and hear Wayne Wallace and his Latin Jazz Quartet.
Five-time Grammy nominated Wayne Wallace.
Here's some of the best Latin jazz you have you hear.
It's going to be a thrilling night.
Wow.
And it's been going great.
I've had many Jimmy Dorf fans approach me.
And you know, Jimmy, it must be nice to know that your fans, they're cool, they're nice, they're smart.
You know, I hear people say this or that comedian has so many fans, but when you look at them, you think, yeah, but who would want those people as your fans?
You can see why people have security to keep their fans away from them.
So, yeah.
But not with the Jimmy.
But not with the Jimmy Dorr fans.
They're all good people, people who like to have a cocktail with.
All cool.
They're all cool.
And very, very nice, very sweet, and very smart people.
And that's the beauty of doing a show like this, that the people who listen, you actually like to bump into them.
And as happens to me at every one of these comic-cons I go to, I ran into some Jimmy Dorr fans.
Nice people.
They love the show.
Nice people you'd like to talk with, Frank?
Yeah, yeah.
That's the beauty.
Because they come up to me and they want to talk to me about what I'm doing right now as opposed to what I did 20 years ago.
There's nothing wrong with talking about what I did 20 years ago.
I'm very happy to talk about that.
Very proud of it.
But I love talking about what I'm doing right now.
Yes, as everyone does.
Yes.
Well, fantastic.
That's nice.
And that's the beauty of doing this show.
I like bumping into our fans, and that's where my career in Jeff Boxworthies diverge.
I unfortunately don't like people at all.
Yes, now that is so that.
Have fans, not our fans.
They're all in the same miasma.
That is our hilarious resident Japanese man.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hi, Robert.
How are you?
The better for your asking.
Fantastic.
Okay, next.
Next to him.
Next To him, we have a Hispanic young man sitting in for our resident Hispanic Hispaniel, Steph Zamorano, who is auditioning for a play right now.
So we have Edward Omana sitting in from the Young Turks.
Hey, Edwin, how are you?
I'm doing great.
Great to have you.
Great to see you.
What's that?
Usted?
Usted?
I'm good.
What does that mean?
How are you?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And you.
And you.
Oh, is that what that is?
Usted and yo.
Okay.
I have three years of Spanish.
I had three years of Spanish.
I can't say a damn thing.
Like 30 years ago, right?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
It was about 25 years ago.
Maybe, yeah, maybe 30.
Holy cow.
I'm getting old.
Hey, let's do some jokes before we get to the jokes.
Gosh darn it, our nation's under attack.
Someone please stop the brave humanitarian nurse with no Ebola symptoms from walking freely among us.
It's, you know, you see all the, I love how no matter what happens, there's always half the country that is virulently anti-science, anti-intellectual, and anti-best practices or smart stuff.
Right?
So if the, you know, and I say if the Ebola nurse, Casey Hickox is her name, by the way, if the Ebola nurse Casey was a gun nut with a history of violence, the GOP would have no problem with her leaving the house.
They just demand that she go to Applebee's with her gun.
That's right.
That's right.
Hey, by the way, Halloween's coming up.
Halloween will be, well, when this we're recording this the day before Halloween, wearing, you know, wearing a Ray Rice costume on Halloween, that would be horrible.
But voting Republican on Tuesday will do more harm to women.
Point set and match to James Doerr.
I don't know if you guys saw this, but John Coleman, the ex-weatherman from Chicago and founder, founder.
He was my weatherman as a kid, John Coleman.
And I liked him.
I used to watch him because he would make up his own weather words.
He would call Thunderstorms thorms.
He would go, some thorms are coming in.
And he would have it written really big.
That's when they still use Sharpies.
And so I was.
I'm sure he wasn't having a stroke and he just couldn't.
I am not sure.
Okay.
Because now he's also making up stuff at the weather channel.
He went on Fox News.
He's the co-founder of the weather channel.
He went on Fox News and said global warming is a hoax.
He said that on Fox News, where news is a hoax.
Thus proving global warming is real.
Can we just reiterate for the weathermen are not climatologists?
They're not climate scientists.
No, they are not.
He's what they call a meteorologist, which means that a rock hit him in the head.
Right.
This guy is just another weatherman who gets the forecast wrong.
Yes.
Okay.
So what's coming up on today's show?
Well, Chris Christie gotten us.
Chris Christie got in an argument with a volunteer who actually helps people.
And well, we're going to look at the media reaction to that.
Plus, we're talking to a soldier in Afghanistan.
You know, we're pulling out of Esk Afghanistan.
Sure.
That's right.
Also, we're going to look at Luke Russert did a fantastic job of breaking down how much money is going into politics.
Both sides do, it turns out.
Fantastic job is the only kind of job he can do.
That's right.
And we've got phone calls today from Chris Christie actually calls in to talk it to defend himself over his shoutdown of the protester who's also a volunteer.
Also, we hear from Michael Douglas calls in.
That's right, Michael Douglas.
And Luke Russert calls in to defend his reporting on Meet the Press, plus a lot of lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Thank you.
Commercial-free PBS, bringing you the finest in BBC programming, is made possible by Goldman Sachs.
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*Music*
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Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
So guess what?
So I don't know, everybody saw the news report.
We saw Chris Christie act like a jackass to another person who was a volunteer anyway.
So Chris Christie, after you're new.
Fresh.
Fresh.
This is fresh.
He's back to the old Christie, and he thinks people have forgotten that he sabotaged the city of Fort Lee by shutting down their traffic to the most Washington Bridge.
So once that was over, he just went back to browbeating strangers.
So excellent.
Now he's back to browbeating.
You know, that bridge scandal isn't even the worst thing he's done.
So truly.
What would you say the worst thing he's done is?
Well, for one thing, what the guy who he yelled at, what the guy was trying to talk about, would be even worse.
Depriving people of Sandy relief money would be even a worse thing.
I agree with you, Frank.
So let me give you the background on it, right?
So after Sandy, remember Chris Christie went and hugged Barack Obama and P.O.'d everybody on the right wing because he hugged a black guy.
And Chris Christie was, so the federal government gave him $1.1 billion in federal aid that was supposed to be spent getting people displaced by Sandy back into their houses.
Two years later, thousands and thousands of people are still displaced.
And the Christie administration has only spent a little over $200 million of the money.
What?
So that's two years later, they've only spent about 20% of the money earmarked to help people get back into their houses.
And they're not.
There are new Enchemans factories everywhere.
laughter laughter laughter So...
And so a guy named James Keaty, James Keaty, is a small business owner from New Jersey who took a month off work and volunteered helping getting people back into their houses after Sandy.
Man.
Right?
So yeah, that's a nice guy, right?
He's a guy who cares about his community.
In fact, he did so much work.
He was doing such good work volunteering, helping people that the city gave him a truck, one of their city trucks.
He'll go help.
Wow.
Yeah.
So.
What city?
Belmar.
Belmar.
So it's the city of Belmar, right?
So, and this guy is also a former Ashbury Park councilman.
Okay.
And he said he knew what he was getting into when he confronted Chris Christie, but he had to do it, right?
Because the Empire State Building was built in a year and a half, and it's been over two years since Sandy, and still $800 million of the $1.1 billion in relief money that the federal government gave Chris Christie has not yet been spent to help those people who were wrecked by Sandy.
So there's been a couple different investigations I've seen about his handling of this.
He appointed a private corporation to run the Sandy relief funds.
And after about six months, they fired them.
They didn't say why, what happened, or what didn't happen, or what they just fired them.
They didn't say what.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, oh, I saw 60 Minutes of an investigation in the way he's spending Sandy relief funds.
And of course, he's spending it on things that were not wrecked by Sandy.
So, of course, Chris Christie is the quintessential corrupt politician.
He could not be more corrupt.
He sees government as his plaything to help aggrandize him and further his political aspirations.
He doesn't care about governing.
He doesn't care about the people or bringing relief.
He doesn't care about union workers.
He just screwed over the unions.
Remember?
He made his bones by going around the state telling people that the way the previous governors had handled the pension funds was a disgrace and that he was going to fix it.
And of course, he just screwed over the pension fund again.
So Chris Christie is pretty corrupt.
He's about as corrupt.
He's made his bones by raising money for George Bush.
That's the kind of good guy he is.
And he's falsely portrayed by the media as somewhat of a moderate, but he isn't really.
He's very conservative.
He's not a moderate.
He's against.
He's not a moderate at all.
He's against science.
He's against a women's right to choose.
He's against any kind of gun legislation.
We've talked about this on the show before.
He wouldn't meet with this.
Would not be with the people from Sandy Hook.
He wouldn't meet with them.
Yes.
So of the parents, right?
We talked about this on the show.
That was when they wanted him to sign the limit on the amount of clips you can put in a gun, right?
To 10.
And his ridiculous logic.
So by the way, you know what?
The problem with Chris Christie is that people mistake him yelling at someone for being a straight talker.
And normally what he's doing, the more he yells, the more he has something to hide.
So if he doesn't have anything to hide, he'll joke it and laugh it off.
But if you actually press a nerve, that's when he tries to shout you down.
He tried to do it.
He always tries to do it.
So we just know that.
So this guy goes to...
So this guy shows up, this guy James.
The two-year anniversary.
Yeah, it's the two-year anniversary.
So James Keated shows up and he has a sign that says, finish the job.
And, well, here's what happened.
Sandier.
I'll be more than happy to have a debate with you anytime you like, guy, because somebody like you doesn't know a damn thing about what you're talking about, except to stand up and show off when the cameras are here.
I've been here when the cameras aren't here, buddy, and done the work.
I've been here when the cameras weren't here and did the work.
So it's nice that he's yelling at a guy who actually took a month off work, dedicated his time to helping people, and now he wants to still help people.
He's not advocating for himself.
He's advocating for other people.
In New Jersey, a guy who he again spent a whole month of his life helping for free, volunteering.
And he stands up and Chris Christie yells at him.
He should.
What was his question?
So he has the sign that says, finish the job.
Why aren't you spending the $800 million that the federal government gave you to help these people get back in there?
And he just starts yelling at him and he says, now you got your photo op.
He's yelling at a guy for getting a photo op.
Meanwhile, he's standing behind a podium placed in the middle of a street so he could have a photo op.
That's the kind of guy Chris Christie is.
Okay, so here he keeps yelling.
So I mean, he could be sitting there eating a bowl of pudding and tell you to go work out.
That's the kind of guy he is.
He's sitting there at a photo op trying to shame someone else for getting a photo op.
But that is jujitsu.
That is like a talk about.
And by the way, everybody falls for it.
I'm glad you had your day to show off, but we're the ones who are here to actually do the work.
So turn around, get your 15 minutes of fame, and then maybe take your jacket off, roll up your sleeves, and do something for the people of this state.
So listen, you want to have the conversation later?
I'm happy to have it, buddy.
No, he's not, by the way.
He's not happy to have it later because the guy says, well, let's have it.
But until that time, sit down and shut up.
And everybody, so it's a nice way to talk to a guy who actually did the work for free for over a month straight, so much so that they gave him one of their city trucks to use.
This is classic Christie, corrupt, bullying, real citizens who care and work to help their neighbors, you know, like teachers and like this guy.
And he uses this guy as a pawn in a political game, and it doesn't get much more cynical than Chris Christie is being right now.
And guess, so, you know, the thing I love is that we have a free press in America, and they're going to immediately call him out for it.
I bet they are.
So here's the, so this is what, this is what Chris Matthews had to say about it.
It seems it reminds me of the bad old days of Frank Sinatra.
Now, you do hear good things about Frankie, but one thing you knew for sure, any guy could get in a fight with him in the men's room, just make a crack, and you got Jilly Rizzo on your back, and you're fighting against both of these guys.
What the hell are you talking about?
That was apropro of nothing, what he just said.
The only thing that is parallel is New Jersey is the state of New Jersey.
Oh, Frank Sinatra is from New Jersey.
That's it.
You're right.
He's from Hoboken, New Jersey.
Remember when Frank Sinatra Yelled at people who were helping Hurricane Relief.
They were helping volunteering their time.
Remember when Frank Sinatra?
He's well known for yelling at blue-collar, hard-working people like teachers, volunteers.
You know, that's just like what Frank Sinatri is.
What the fuck?
He did a double album about that.
The fuck is Chris.
What the fuck is he talking about?
Chris Matthews is stroking out.
Well, it gets worse, right?
By the way, that protester got his 15 minutes of fame, and Christie got his 15 hours at the buffet.
Am I right?
Yeah, Sinatra.
When Scott Walker had some words with someone, Chris Matthews compared him to Tony Bennett, which makes no sense.
Oh, yeah.
He's like a regular rat packer, Chris Christie, isn't he?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Seth, he's just a rat.
He's just kind of half a rat pack.
Ocean's 11 is how many servings he has when he goes to eat seafood.
Nice.
I've heard you, you know, he's a great singer, that Chris Christie.
Have you heard his album, Send in the Pounds?
Nice.
Or I've got you under my skin somewhere.
No, he said, I've got you under my potato skin.
Wolfgang Puck, be a lady tonight.
I did it my weight.
His other songs are: You go to my bread.
You go to my bread.
Come pie with me.
Come pie, let's pie away.
I'll just point out one difference: that Frank Sinatra, whatever his foibles, was a great singer, and Chris Christie is a horrible governor.
Yes, so there couldn't be when they say he's a good politician, they mean that I don't know.
I guess, you know, they people, he's different, right?
He's not nice to people, he doesn't answer questions.
He appears grumpy, he doesn't appear ingratiating.
Well, he appears, it makes him appear real because he's because most type people are nice in a phony way, but he's being mean in a phony way.
He's not being real, he's being unreal.
Well, he's trying to shut down a conversation about, you know, rather than say, well, here's where what happened to your money.
Here's why you haven't gotten it yet.
Here's why it hasn't been distributed.
Since the only answer for that is you haven't gotten it because my administration is incredibly corrupt.
So the only thing he can do is just yell at people.
So he later on in the show.
Do you know why protesters have to stand up and ask these questions?
It's because the media won't ask him these questions.
Okay, so there's a lot more to say about that, Chris Christie, and that's coming up in the second half.
But right now, let's get to a phone call I had with Chris Christie and we talk about this very topic.
So Governor Christie, you know, we saw what happened yesterday, and I'm sure you were.
Yeah, but you didn't see anything.
You don't know what you saw.
Shut up.
No, I'm not going to shut up, okay?
Sit down.
No, look, I also have a microphone, too.
Shut up.
You stand up.
Shutting Key Gunner down.
They scout both of them.
But listen, I just want to talk to you about, I want to talk to you about the aid that's not getting to.
Shut up.
Zipping.
I want to.
How do you think this is going to play if you're running for?
You can't be yelling at people to shut up all the time.
Shut up.
Governor.
Shut up.
Why can't I tell people to look at?
They'll tell you to shut up every 30 seconds.
What are you going to do?
You're not going to do anything.
It's because we're going to look over the campaign.
All right.
You know what I'm saying?
Barbara people tell each other to shut up all the time.
Wouldn't you want to vote for a guy who's like you that tells people to shut up as a big rude fat fuck?
No, especially if that guy.
Well, then shut up.
I don't care what you think.
You want what?
You don't want to blow hard, mannerless chubs to be the president of the United States.
No, no, this guy's a volunteer.
He cares about his community.
Ah, cry me a river.
I came here to help people.
Yeah, but why would you yell at someone?
You're supposed to care about the community more than anybody.
Why would you?
I know you're from those.
I care about the communities.
No, obviously don't.
Why haven't you spent that money?
Shut up.
Why haven't you spent it?
You got him a good fun.
It's making money.
Shut up.
You don't know what's happening.
You don't know fucking anything.
Shut up.
So listen, I just want to talk to you about anytime.
Anytime you want.
I want to talk to you right now, though.
Shut up.
So I want to ask you.
No, listen, I want to ask you about the 80%.
Shut up.
No, no, I want to ask you.
You said anytime.
How about right now?
I want to ask you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shut up.
I saw that coming.
Listen, okay, I guess we're not going to get anywhere.
You're just going to be a jackass today, okay?
Telling people a shut up.
We're going to get to the Olive Garden.
Yeah.
Okay, Governor Christie.
I would like to say thanks for joining us, but I'm really not grateful today.
I'm not grateful either.
Fuck you.
Shut up.
Okay.
Don't truck my fucking bulls.
Hey, I'm sorry, Timmy.
Hold on.
There's someone at the door.
Shut up.
Go away.
Get out of here.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Okay.
They're lucky if they just get a shut up.
Okay, Governor Christie, I appreciate you taking time.
I actually don't appreciate it.
And a nice piece of pasta buying band of shut up for you, Bob.
Okay, Bob Bob.
All right, guys, Chris Christie, everybody.
Chris Christie.
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
He was more likable in that than he was at that first comment.
Actually was more likable.
Hey, there's more.
We've got a lot more to say about Chris Christie.
Okay.
We've got a lot more to say about the coverage of Chris Christie.
And Chris Hazler shuts down.
And we talk about that in the second half, which is coming up in just a sec.
But right now, thanks everybody who supports the show by being a premium member or by using our Amazon.com box when you buy something from Amazon.com.
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So thanks, everybody who already does that.
And thanks to everybody who's going to start doing that now.
Okay, there's a lot more coming up in the second half.
We're going to have a Michael Douglas call.
He calls back in.
You know what he's going to talk about?
Well, if you don't, you'll find out.
And then, plus, they did some fantastic work over at Meet the Press again last Sunday, and Luke Russert calls in to talk about it.
It's always one of our faves.
Okay, we got a lot to get to coming up in the second half.
Stick around.
Okay, welcome back to the second half.
And we're talking about why are there no reporters asking Chris Christie about the malfeasance in handling the hurricane relief funds and him not paying it out and about him shouting down the protester who brought up that stuff.
So let's get back to it right now.
No, no, no kidding, Mark, because in fact, the guy James Keated went on with Chris Hayes, right?
He's the Poindexter-looking guy who does a show on MSNBC, and they have him on because he's boring, but he's smart.
That's the whole point.
It's a boring show, and he doesn't have any charisma, but they put him on because he wears glasses and he's smarter than you.
Except they bring on, right?
And he does some good investing.
He did some good stuff sometimes, but overall, he's boring.
Boring, bespeckled, smart.
And yeah.
Where's my job?
Where's my job?
You're not white.
So he so Chris Hayes had on this guy, James Keated, and James Keatie starts to explain to him things about the fact that only 20% of the Sandy relief funds from the federal government have been spent.
And Chris Hayes' response was, is that true?
Only 20% of those dollars have gotten to the people.
Of the $1.1 billion, $219 million has gone out.
That means that the governor and his staff in Trenton are sitting on $800 million.
Is that true?
Yes, absolutely true.
And you can check the New Jersey Recovery Dashboard.
This is as of 1024.
Unless $800 million went out the door in the last four days, it's still sitting there.
I don't know, Chris.
You're going to have the guy on your news show.
You have, I don't know, the resources of NBC.
Maybe you could maybe, I don't know, look into the thing that you're having the guy on about.
It was all news to Chris Hayes.
Exactly what Mark Van Landuick just said.
Or maybe, you know, when I look at Chris Hayes, I wonder, why don't you get into the Wayback Machine with Mr. Peabody?
Yes.
But it's exactly the truth.
So this guy, he had exactly what Mark said.
It's because there isn't a journalist that even knows what's happening in New Jersey, A, and B, no one will ask him these questions.
How is he allowed to walk?
Where was the local journalist there?
Where was the local New Jersey reporters who are supposed to go ask him these questions?
Where were they?
Anyway, so you're...
I mean, never mind the bridge scandal, just the legislation he's put forth as a governor.
He hasn't been called to, he hasn't been taken to task for any of this stuff.
No.
Growing over teachers, screwing over schools.
No big contracts to campaign contributors.
No big contracts is correct, Mark.
I mean, they like him because he's a character.
They want to knock him off the pedestal, but they still want to keep him around.
They really like this guy.
So here he was later on in the show.
This is going to get ready.
He brought on a panel.
He brought on a panel of people to talk about Chris Christie.
And here's how he introduced that clip the second time he played it on his show.
Ready?
This is my favorite quote of the week.
Christie unloaded on some guy, some protester who dared to hold up a sign at a press conference.
This is Sinatra, country, in the old days.
Let's watch.
What?
Oh, Jesus.
What does he keep saying that Chris Christie's like Sinatra?
We're like three weeks away from it coming out that he's got a Xanax problem.
What is wrong with Chris Matthews?
What is he?
He said, this is my favorite quote of the week.
And he's giggling.
He's got a grin from ear to ear.
He's like, oh, he's yelling at some guy again.
I love it.
Because politics is just a game to Chris Matthews, and he finds it entertaining.
And the issues at the core of this of why the guy was protesting him, why the guy was holding up the sign, what the sign meant, none of that is discussed in this panel discussion.
None of it.
It doesn't matter to them.
It's all about the style and the way Chris Christie is, and that's all they care about.
It's all about the sport, not the script.
None of it.
Yeah, it's all the sport of it.
I mean, he didn't talk about one iota of the substance.
He didn't even have the guy's name who held the sign up.
He didn't know what the sign said.
He didn't know what the issue was.
He just knew that his buddy, Chris Christie, yelled at somebody, and he gets a kick out of it every time it happens, as if that's good politics.
But it is.
Listen, I'll tell you something right now.
Not that I think that it's going to come to this, but if the election in 2016 becomes Chris Christie versus Hillary Clinton, prepare yourself for Chris Matthews' coverage of that to skew heavily on the side of Chris Christie.
Let me, I agree with you, Frank, but let me just say this.
If Chris Christie, it doesn't matter.
They could have Herman Kaine running against, they could have anybody.
Because you look at these races for governor and senator around the country.
And it's, you know, Mitch McConnell has got to be the worst.
I mean, he's worse than Louis Gomer because he has a position of power where he actually can affect things.
And his legislative record is so abominable.
And he opposed health care for his own state.
And now that people got it because they have a Democratic governor, now he's switching and he's saying he's for it, but he's still lying.
He doesn't want people to know he's for it.
He's trying to pretend he's for something else.
Again, according to Chuck Todd, that's not disqualifying for him.
It doesn't disqualify him.
But he's still going to win that race.
Everywhere you go, these candidates could not be more horrible.
They could not, right now they're suppressing the black vote on purpose as a party from coast to coast.
And everybody's like, yeah, it's all right.
I'm going to vote for them.
Half the country still is going to vote for them.
Half of the country.
Scott Walker in Wisconsin got caught outsourcing jobs from Wisconsin.
He's still going to get half the vote.
So it's just weird that this country that they don't, it's like they don't care about what's happening.
It's like, well, I've been Republican, so I'll vote Republican.
I'm a Democrat vote down.
It's like it doesn't matter how bad the party is.
Right.
Well, Jimmy, just keep thinking about that other half.
In a democracy, a majority is 50% plus one.
Unless you have an electoral college, then you don't have a democracy.
So never mind.
Exactly.
Never mind.
We don't have democracy.
Let me hear Chris Matthews one more time.
This is great.
I love how he breaks this down.
This is my favorite quarter of the week.
Christie unloaded on some guy, some protester who dared to hold up a sign at a press conference.
This is Sinatra country in the old days.
Let's watch.
Some guy.
If you can watch.
If you can listen to Chris Matthews compare Chris Christie yelling at a volunteer to Frank Sinatra singing and still be against beheadings, then you are a better man than I am.
And by the way, a lot of Sinatra's first in the 40s, his very famous altercation was when he punched a journalist named Lee Mortimer.
And That's what kind of started his reputation.
So, Chris, in other words, Chris Matthews is celebrating a guy, Frank Sinatra, who was abusive towards journalists.
Yeah.
Okay, so now I was watching Press the Meet because they have Chuck Todd.
The thing I love about Chuck Todd is he cuts through the BS.
You know what I mean?
And he brings on, but he needs a helper sometime.
He brings on Luke Russert.
Sometimes he helps him cut through the BS.
And get some sandwiches, I assume.
Talking to the mic.
And get some sandwiches.
Yes.
Yes.
I hope Luke does something useful.
Yeah.
I appreciate how just in a very short time, Chuck has really pooled his resources and managed to be worse than David Gregory already.
He's actually, David Gregory was just, he was passively bad.
Chuck Todd takes it to the next level.
He actively inserts it.
That's a great way of putting it.
Yes, David Gregory would just let bad things happen on his show and go unchallenged.
Whereas Chuck Todd actually creates bad things happening.
He makes them happen.
Like the stuff that he said about, you know, we talked about it, Grimes and Kentucky and just all the horrible.
Well, let's listen to here's what Luke, they were so they were talking about money and politics.
And by the way, it's like they were giggling through this whole segment.
Like at the beginning of this, if you could see Luke Russert's face when he introduced it, he's smiling, again, smiling from ear to ear.
Exactly, Frank, as if they're announcing a basketball game, as if they're talking about the World Series.
And what you're really talking about is the destruction of our democracy by money.
Well, I mean, he is Luke Russert.
I mean, he is the luckiest man alive.
He is the luckiest man alive.
I bet you that guy never stops smiling.
Yes.
He's right up there with whoever's sleeping with Kate Upton.
Sure.
Just a furlander.
Okay.
So here's how Luke Russert talked about money and politics as if he's introducing a football game.
On the right, Charles and David Koch, the brothers who run Koch Industries, America's second largest private company, net worth $41.9 billion each.
Americans for Prosperity, just one of several Koch back groups, has pledged to spend at least $125 million this year, and they have offices in more than 30 states.
On the left, newcomer Tom Styre.
It's literally like he's announcing the new UFC fight, right?
It sounds like it really does sound like an amateur high school sports.
And in the blue corner, in the blue corner, a 6-6 sophomore.
Right?
So here we go.
Net worth.
So here's who's on the left.
Watch what he says about who's on the left.
This is supposed to be equivalent to the Koch brothers.
On the left, newcomer Tom Styre, net worth $1.6 billion.
Or roughly 2% of the Koch brothers' money.
Right.
$140.
And don't forget, he said the Koch brothers $41 million, $41 billion each.
Each.
So that's, I'm not a math scientist, but I think that's $82 billion total.
Yeah.
So this guy has $1.6 billion, and it's on the left.
On the left, even our billionaires are poor.
Even our billionaires get made fun of at the billionaire club.
Oh, here comes the poor billionaires.
He's got to sit at the poor table.
So here we go.
He's got more to say, Luke Russert.
He's already donated at least $58 million in support of candidates with strong records on climate change.
So this, by the way, that guy, he's a one-issue guy.
Like the Koch brothers, they're for conservatives no matter what, right?
They're for polluting.
They're for ending education.
They're for screwing over unions, right?
They're for all that.
They're for outsourcing.
There's a huge agenda that basically is about dismantling democracy.
Yeah, it's about dismantling democracy, right?
It's about getting people in their hip pocket to not do the people's will, but do their will, okay?
Exactly.
The problem with the Koch brothers is they want a return for their money, and they've been getting it.
If you look at the subsidies, the tax breaks, all the regulations that get rewritten for Koch industries, it is startling.
Well, Brownback alone gave them such a huge Senator Brownback alone.
I mean, Governor Brown back now, right?
Yeah.
Kansas.
So here we go.
He's got a little bit more to say, Luke Russert.
A California billionaire extreme environmentalist.
California billionaire.
California billionaire.
Last month, Styers PAC began hauling a wooden arc on wheels across Florida, where he's focusing his efforts on retiring Governor Rick Scott.
But the Koch brothers, through a number of outside groups with mundane, if not.
So when they say he's a billionaire, they mean literally a billion.
They don't mean billions here like the Koch's.
They mean a billion.
The guy's got $1 billion.
He's our guy.
Okay.
And he cares about the environment, which is equal.
According to Luke Russert, caring about the environment is equal to wanting to ruin the environment, which is what the Koch brothers do.
They want the pipeline.
They want to be able to get rid of environmental regulations.
They want to do to the country what BP did to the Gulf.
Well, what he's saying is, an employee that's reported, these are billionaires spending a lot of money on campaigns.
And it doesn't matter the specifics of what they're trying to achieve with the money they're spending.
It's just that they're spending a lot of money, and so they're all equal in this sport.
Yes, exactly.
So they're all equal, right?
So if it's like he would say, well, so we have general dynamics.
They spend $15 billion making bombs.
On the left, we have Mother Teresa.
She spends $2 billion.
She spends $2 billion feeding the sick and homeless.
Equal.
Equal.
This is exactly what, exactly.
He's pretending that those two things are equal.
Exactly.
So even though he's framing this as a left-right equal, both sides do it, he does slip in a little bit of information that shows that what his framing is is completely bogus.
Because he just said, hey, by the way, that billionaire that has the $1.9 billion, the Koch brothers are outspending him five to one.
And by the way, the guy's sticking up for environmental regulation.
Right.
And he's spending money on behalf of science.
He's, And let's talk about this specifically.
So the reason why he is spending money in Florida is because Florida is incredibly in danger of basically being underwater as a result of global warming.
Yes.
Which I don't know if you've heard is real.
You can get some cheap beachside property right now in Miami.
Go ahead.
So the previous governor, who was a Republican at the time, actually started to do some environmental regulations.
Well, Charlie Christ.
So when Scott came in, he dismantled that all.
Yes.
And these were pretty minimal, but fairly basic things to get them ready for more global warming impact.
And it wasn't even like, it wasn't controversial in the slightest.
So Rick Scott came in and dismantled all of that.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, it's the equivalent of Ronald Reagan taking the solar panels off them.
Yeah, except the solar's had a real impact.
The solar panels didn't have poor people living on the coast and drowning in 10 years.
But I want to just bring up, just for the sake of argument, is Florida being underwater, is that necessarily a bad thing?
There are parks of Florida I really enjoy.
That is for sure bad.
Well, and the worst thing is George Zimmerman will have to start patrolling neighborhoods on boats.
He's going to have a fan boat.
He's going to go.
He's going to have those fanboats go through the Everglades.
So here, here's Chuck Todd.
So now here's what he says.
So Luke Russer does his thing.
Oh, by the way, this is what he says after Luke did his thing.
Luke, nice work.
That was the most inaccurate thing of the entire process.
Nice work.
Luke, nice work.
Nice work.
Nice work.
And he has to giggle as he says it because it's like that's a tell.
That's a tell, right?
But someone giggles.
He goes, Luke, nice work.
Ah, nice work.
You're that guy's kid.
Okay.
You're that guy's kid, right?
That's why you're 24 years old and you're on meet the fucking press, right?
Okay.
All right.
You don't have an iota of journalism.
He doesn't have any.
He didn't even send him to Buffalo to report on sports.
No.
They sent him right to the Capitol.
They sent him right to the Capitol.
There you go.
Boom.
Hey, he doesn't know how to report.
Who does?
Who cares?
We got Chris Matthews, for F's sake.
Well, what's worse is that he has a producer who lets him.
I mean, I know.
There's a producer somewhere who went, yeah.
Yeah, what Luke is saying is totally fine.
There was a producer that said, let's get Luke Russard.
Right.
There was a producer who said that.
And then there was a guy who said this.
Luke, nice work.
And also, the amazing thing about this, too, is that, you know, I mean, David Gregory did really poorly on Meet the Press, and it had no, nobody respected it anymore.
And they're like, well, we're going to re-floot it, and we're going to make it much better.
So what's our first move?
Let's get Luke Russard and Joe Scarborough to be on.
You know, Luke Ruster, that's the guy they bring on to bump up the ratings on Meet the Press because that's all it's about.
It's not about, hey, how can we get the best ratings while still delivering the news to people?
It's like, screw the news.
Let's get someone with less journalistic bona fides than Essie Cup.
The idea of this.
Well, not to support Luke Russer.
There is an issue at the core of what he's reporting that both really are bought because of the nature of our current political system.
No, no, and the media are the real villains in all this.
They mint money during elections because so much of this money goes to buying airtime.
That's a great point.
That's a great point, Mike.
You're correct.
So why doesn't the...
Yeah, and that's also another thing about this whole segment is that they do a whole story about the only point of the story is that Democrats and Republicans left and right are spending a lot of money on politics and are influencing the outcomes, and yet they never do any reports about campaign finance reform.
This is what it goes.
Yes, exactly.
If they think it's such a bad thing, why don't they devote more time, maybe devote a whole show to campaign finance reform.
But they barely ever even speak of it.
And when they do speak of it, it's usually to disparage it.
Well, they speak of it as if it's this problem, but they don't talk about where the problem comes from or how we can fix the problem or who's the worst people who are who are the people we have to move out of the way to fix the problem.
They don't say any of that stuff.
And by the way, you know, we know that the politicians are bought on both sides.
We know that.
Barack Obama proved it.
But what this report was about was outside money.
So this wasn't about the money where the politicians are even owned, which is horrible.
But this is about outside money being spent.
Right.
So they're not even talking about that.
And through this whole thing, they didn't even talk about the Supreme Court.
I watched this whole segment.
Frank, you watched the segment, didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
Did they mention the Supreme Court?
Here's what Chuck Todd said.
Here's what he has to say about it.
It's totally so.
It feels like the Cold War.
I mean, it is a cold political war, and we're going down a road where we're just, it's going to destroy the two-party system factories.
It's going to destroy the two-party system.
First of all, it's not going to destroy the two-party system.
Why would it, the two-party system, here's the two-party system we have right now.
So right now, people are worried about the takeover of the Senate, right?
Because then the Republicans get in charge of the important committees, you know, like the energy committee, right?
Right now, you know who's in charge of it?
No.
Well, who will take over is Mukowski, who's conceived as a moderate Republican.
She will take over the Committee of Energy, and she's in the pocket of the oil and energy industry.
She's in the pocket.
So if she takes over and she's going to take over from, you know, who's the chairman of it now?
It's Mary Landrew of Louisiana, who's in the pocket of the oil companies on the other.
So that's why it's really important.
That's why it's really important.
Andrew, I just want to point out, was also a villain on an old Star Trek episode.
That's funny you should say that.
Now, Gail Collins pointed that out today in her column, which I just found astounding.
It's like, you know, yeah, the Republicans are going to take over it.
It's a big deal because now the Republican puppet is going to be in charge of the energy committee instead of the Democrat puppet who's in charge of the end.
They're all correct.
They're all bought and paid for.
They're all corrupted.
And it seems like the only difference.
It does make a difference, though.
Not much of a difference, but it does make a difference.
Sometimes the incremental difference can have a huge effect.
No, Frank, you are correct.
It will have a deleterious effect.
And I like to say deleterious Because it makes me sound smart.
Listen, well, meet the press, if they truly wanted to serve to inform the voters, it would be important for them to put names and faces to the money that buys them and why the money is buying them.
And I mean this for both Democrats and Republicans.
Well, what's this is not?
What Chuck Todd is not telling you is that he's bought by the same people.
Oh, precisely the same.
And that's what Chuck Todd won't tell you.
It's like, you know, I don't know if you guys know, but all through the Iraq war, we were being paid by a defense contractor.
He doesn't say that, right?
He doesn't bring that up, right?
He doesn't bring up the fact that there was a guy who won a Pulitzer Prize for exposing Brian Williams, having generals who were bought and paid for giving us erroneous information about the Iraq war.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Joining us now on the phone is NBC News correspondent.
It's Luke Russard.
Hey, Luke, are you there?
Hey, Jimbo.
Is it okay if I call you Jimbo?
No, it's not okay if you call me Jimbo.
Absolutely not.
Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the piece you did last week about Meet the Press.
Wasn't it awesome?
I think it may be the summation of my long career.
Luke, that piece was ridiculous.
It was supposed to be about big money and political campaigns, but you made no distinction between the Koch brothers and anyone else.
You know, you did that, right?
Exactly.
Both sides do it.
No.
Both sides do it, Jimmy.
No.
Both sides do it.
Can we please talk about something more important?
What's more important than that, Luke, for Christ's sake?
What could be more important?
My new album.
What?
You made an album?
Are you kidding me, Luke?
Yes, it's called Luke Russert's Most Beloved Both Sides Do It Ballad.
Well, technically, they're not all ballads like this one.
Check it out.
Both sides do it.
Both sides do it.
Both sides do it till they're satisfied.
Whatever it is, both sides do it.
Both sides do it.
Both sides do it satisfied.
Whatever it is.
I'm 26.
How would I fucking know this song?
Luke, I'm not singing along to that.
Let's take it down a bit with this lovely tune.
Love from both sides do it now.
Losing still somehow.
It's love illusions on both sides of the aisle.
I recall.
I really don't know life at all, but I do know that both sides do it.
Wow, Luke, you have quite a knack for song parody, buddy.
Yeah, I'm thinking of going on the road and billing myself as conventional Al Yankovic.
Okay, let's move on.
Both sides do it to me one more time.
Never enough with the Democrat equivalent amount of love on both sides to it of the romantic spectrum.
Both sides do it to me one more time.
I can never get enough of a centrist like you.
Okay, Luke, that's it.
I've had enough, all right?
I certainly hope that's good.
So have I hey Jimmy?
I was proud to say that last song because it's by the captain and Teniel.
And as you do, I have a great deal of respect for our armed forces.
Luke, you're not making any sense, buddy.
What are you talking about?
One day when I'm the anchor of NBC Night News, I hope the Captain and Teneal will come in as military experts.
Luke, I don't think you can't call them military experts if he's a captain.
That would be great.
Right after I helped cheerlead our nation on to another war, which, as you know, is one of the main jobs of a network anchor.
Luke, I don't think that's the job of a network anchor is to root out a war.
That's not the job.
Yeah, I know.
That's not the job of a network anchor.
I'll ask the captain and Teneal to give us insight into strategy and combat, but I'll only have them on under the condition that they're secretly profiting from the war that they are supporting on my broadcast.
As you might know, that was the case with Brian Williams and the military experts he had on his show during the Iraq war.
So I want to do that as well.
I'm a big believer in tradition.
Yeah, well, Luke, as long as you're here, I might want to ask you, when does your album drop, buddy?
When is my album what?
When does your album drop?
Well, crap, hope it never drops.
That could cause damage.
I don't want to give refunds to people, you know?
Screw that.
No, Luke, when is it released?
Oh, okay.
Luke Russert sings Beloved Billside Stewart Ballads is coming on next Tuesday on False Equivalency Record.
And by the way, all proceeds go to the National Nepotism Foundation.
We provide resources for the children of rich and famous people and help them find jobs that they have not a single qualification.
Luke, thanks for joining us, buddy.
Do you want me to ejaculate like I did last time?
No, no, no.
Be honest.
Jimmy.
Yeah.
It's Michael Douglas.
Hi, Michael.
How you doing, buddy?
We haven't heard from you since your last cancer scare, buddy.
How have you been?
You know, I got that cancer from eating pussy.
Yes, I know.
I know you got.
I got that, Mr. Douglas.
Please, Mr. Right out of the box, you say that?
That's the first thing you say, Mr. Douglas.
That just seems weird.
Please, Jimmy, call me Michael.
Call you Michael.
Okay.
All right, Michael.
All right, Michael.
Michael, who ate so much pussy, he got two.
Okay.
So what's going on?
You and I both know there's a lot more to that Michael Douglas phone call.
And how do you hear that rest of that call?
Well, you just become a premium member and it's only $5 a month.
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on premium, make your $5 donation, and we send you a passcode, and that gets you access to all the funny stuff.
Okay, so that's what's been happening, and that's going to drop this Sunday.
That's dropping this Sunday, Michael Douglas, with a double episode of our premium content, right?
So I'm getting ready for the special.
We've been doing it every other week and dropping double premium content episodes.
And I look forward to seeing everybody Monday night at Flappers for the special intimate 50-seat room preview of the hour special.
That's Monday night, and that's a free show too.
Look at that.
There's links for all this stuff.
All you have to do is make your reservation over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And then we'll see you Friday night at the El Portal Theater for the big hour special TV taping.
You can get your over there.
There's links at the Jimmy DoorComedy.com for that too.
It's a 9:30 show at the El Portal.
Free tickets.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, click the link, make your reservation.
Okay, today's show was written.
That's right, it was written by Frank Conniff, Robert Yesemura, Mark Van Landuet, Mike McRae.
Of course, all the voices today perform by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
The announcer voice at the top of the show, the one and only Ron Lynch.
And a shout out to Sean James, Sean James, who donates his time and talent to help make my Macintosh computer run correctly.
So if you have any problems with your Macintosh, he'll fix it for you right over the internet.
You send him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
Or you can call him at 347-695-0601.
Okay, that's it for this week.
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