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Feb. 4, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
56:24
20110204_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_-_February_3_2011
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It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's hard to talk on your TV algae.
So sit back or sit up or keep driving.
Because it's the Jimmy Dore show.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to the show.
I'm in studio, as always, with Ben Zelovansky, Paul Gilmartin, Robert Yasimura.
And there's not much happening this week, so we had to make up some news.
And before we get to anything, what's coming up on today's show?
Well, we're going to talk about Egypt, right?
And we're going to talk about what Dick Morris has.
And Dick Morris has his advice for what Hazi Nubarik and Barack Obama should be doing.
What Mubarak should be doing, and what the Bush, what the Obama administration should be doing is aggressively confronting the demonstrators.
That's exactly right.
Are you kidding me?
That's right.
Okay, I should have saved that for the oh my god moment.
Oh my save it, Bill.
Save it.
Bill O'Reilly recently, we're going to talk, we're going to talk about that.
We'll talk about Dick Morris in Egypt and what he thinks the Barack Obama and the Jews should be doing.
And we're going to talk about Bill O'Reilly has some interesting theories about how he can prove that there's a God.
You know how he can prove that there's a God?
Tide goes in, tide goes out.
Never miscommunication.
You can't explain that.
Okay, because the tides go in and the tides go out.
We're going to be talking about that coming up later in the Oh My God segment.
And well also Steve Croft interviewed Julian Assange.
And it was a little weird to see a pretend journalist interview a real one.
And so we're going to talk about that.
I have a big piece about that.
I want to get to it.
But before we do, I had a voicemail from Hosniubarak.
Hello, Jimmy.
This is Egyptian President Hosney Mubarak.
I would like to come on your show and clear up some of the misconceptions about what has been happening in my country lately.
Okay, maybe there are a few troublemakers here and there, but what about all the promo barrack demonstrators?
People say that they are actually police on my payroll, disguised as civilians.
Well, so what?
They still support me and that's all that matters.
So please let me know when I can come on your show and give my side of this story.
I look forward to being in studio with you and to shutting off KPFK's internet access.
Okay, you know what?
He left me a couple of more voicemails.
We're going to get to them.
But right now.
Time for another installment of Oh My God with Paul Gilmart.
Okay, so now I already teased the Oh My God segment at the top of the show when I played a little bit of Bill O'Reilly and he was explaining how he can prove that there's a God because the tides go in and the tides go out.
Well then guess what?
Somebody explained to him that you can't explain that.
That it's because of the Earth's access and the gravitational pull of the moon.
So that's pretty easily explained to Bill O'Reilly.
So then he came back with this.
The opinions who attacked me for this, you guys are just desperate.
How'd the moon get there?
How'd the sun get there?
How did it get there?
Can you explain that to me?
So he just moves the goalpost.
He goes, okay, so you can explain how the tides were.
Well, how'd the moon get there?
How'd the sun get there?
Can you explain that to me?
Actually, we can explain that to you too.
He goes on.
How come we have that?
And Mars doesn't have it.
Okay, Mars actually does have moons.
Wrong about that.
Get wrong again.
So his whole, you know, when you have a belief structure, you think you would have it built on something that was factual and correct and accurate, and you could be able to espouse, you know, you could spew that out of your mouth at a moment's notice because it's your whole life's belief structure.
And so when people are asking what you base it on, he just keeps coming up with incorrect scientific assumptions.
More stuff that he doesn't understand.
More stuff that he doesn't understand.
It's arguments like his that give people who have faith a bad name.
It's organized religion that gives people who have faith in something out there.
Yes.
Because I believe that there is a I hate to use the word God because it's been soiled by people.
But what caused the Big Bang theory?
That, you know, that to me is what is out there.
Positive energy, love.
By the way, a big bang theory discovered by a Jesuit.
Really?
Yeah.
I know the big positions.
And then right onto CBS.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
But it's the smug ownership of what God can be defined as that, to me, has chased so many people away from a spiritual life that it makes me sad.
But I believe that there is a God.
And like I said, I hate to use that word.
I don't want to use God.
I'd like to use that.
I think there's little green men with antennas.
That's what I think.
And they run everything.
Is that weird?
I hate when people marginalize me because I don't know science.
But there's definitely, that's what I believe.
You know why I know that?
Because there's rings around Saturn.
How do you explain it?
Yeah.
Can't play.
It's got to be little green men with mantennas, right?
That's what I say.
You can't explain it.
Can you explain the rings?
Okay.
Whether you're arguing for science or for spirituality, the question that's always going to be unanswerable is, well, what was behind that?
Right.
Well, what was behind that?
It's the same question.
They're the same thing.
Yeah, there are scientists that are.
Most physicists believe that there is a higher power, a God, something out there that they can't explain, that there's a structure underneath the universe that is beautiful and string theory.
So let's go.
Can I play the rest of Bill O'Reilly's explanations?
Yes.
Venus doesn't have it.
How come?
Why not?
How'd it get here?
How did that little Moeba get here?
Crawl out there.
How to do it.
Come on.
You have order in this universe.
You have an order in the universe.
Tide comes in, tide goes out.
Okay, yeah, the moon does it.
Fine.
How'd the moon get there?
Okay, so now he just totally said, okay, all right, so all right, so there's an explosion.
But what about the next thing that I don't know about?
Yeah.
Who put it there?
Who put it there?
It just happened?
Who put it there?
Okay, if we have existence, if we have life on Earth, how come that don't happen on the other planets?
Are you lucky?
Some meteor do this?
Come on.
You know, I see this stuff.
It's desperate.
Are we lucky?
It's either we're lucky or an invisible man in the sky did it.
There's no other explanations.
Physicists are desperate.
You're clinging at straws with your...
That sounds like desperation to me.
When you point out where I'm factually in.
We got to move on.
Wouldn't it be ironic if at the moment of creation this is what God said?
F ⁇ it, we'll do it live!
So now, but now, Paul, if you had to sum up your reaction to that clip in one sort of, you know, two or three word exclamation.
Yeah, what would that be?
What would it be?
Oh my God.
This has been Oh my God with Paul Gilmart.
Oh my God!
Okay, I have a feeling there's going to be bigger oh my gods in this with uh there's gonna become some first I want to get to the Steve Croft list.
Steve Croft sat down.
You know, the whole interview stunk.
He sat down to interview Julian Assange of WikiLeaks.
And, you know, Julian Assange is doing the work Steve Cross is supposed to be doing, but isn't.
And the reason why Steve doesn't do it is, I guess, because it pays better to roll over for your government and the military-industrial complex than it does to stick up to them, okay?
And it just feels weird to have a guy who is a leading figure in the one institution that has let us down even harder than our government and even harder than the banks, the news media, questioning a guy who is actually risking his life and liberty to expose war crimes, government lies, and general malefe.
In other words, it is weird to see a pretend journalist like Steve Cross questioning a real one like Julian Assange and sneering at real journalistic tactics all the way.
Okay, so I'm going to play, this is just the opening salvo.
This is how Steve Croft introduced his interview.
And we're just going to, I'm just going to go through this, and it's going to take about two minutes.
And I'm going to play a little game called stuff that Steve Cross forgot to say.
This is just the, because I can't go through it.
It would take me four shows to go through all the crazy stuff Steve Croft was saying.
So I'm going to play, this is unedited.
I'm going to play the introduction to the piece and we'll stop it.
And I'm going to add the stuff Steve Cross forgot to say, okay.
WikiLeaks, which solicits and publishes secrets and suppressed material from whistleblowers around the world.
Okay, I'm going to stop it there and add what he forgot to add there.
You know, the stuff that real journalists do, the stuff we haven't done or had the balls to do at 60 Minutes since Mike Wallace left.
And now it's the job of guys like Julian Assange, who threatens me and whom I'm now going to try to discredit throughout this interview.
Forgot to say that part.
Let's keep going.
He's been under cyber attack from governments that want to shut it down.
Okay, you know, cyber attacks.
You know, that's something that will never happen to 60 Minutes or any other mainstream news organization, right?
Because we just aren't going to rock the boat like that.
Never.
It's profits before problems.
Am I right?
I forgot to say that part.
Okay, back.
And Assange is currently under legal attack from the U.S. government, which would like to charge him with espionage for publishing volumes of classified material from the Pentagon and the State Department.
The part he forgot to say is that they can't charge him because he didn't break any of our laws, even though they are bending the laws like crazy to try and find a way to prosecute him.
And the government is even resorting to torturing an American soldier to get him to give false testimony against Assange, which is a story we haven't reported on at all here at 60 Minutes.
And I'm sure not to mention it once this comes up during this interview, too.
I forgot to say that part.
Back to the introduction.
We spent two days with him in Britain where he is under house arrest while fighting extradition to Sweden for questioning in two sexual assault cases.
Okay, and the part he forgot to say there was, yeah, and we did some checking on the sex charges because, you know, we're a news organization that checks things.
Josh just repeats things the government says.
And boy, are those some pretty flimsy sex charges, let me tell you.
It smells just like the standard smear campaign that governments use to discredit whistleblowers, you know, just like they did to Daniel Ellsberg, who exposed the Pentagon papers, the Pentagon papers, you know, which were told to, which demonstrated that the Johnson administration had systematically lied to the American public and to Congress about a subject of transcendental national interest and significance.
I forgot to say that part.
Okay, so you're getting the flavor of how I felt this whole interview went.
I don't think it went well.
I wasn't happy with it.
It went well for the American government.
Oh, it went great for the American government.
Okay, so the interview went on.
And, you know, when you take on the powerful, they're going to hit back.
And here, Julian Assange, he describes the public threats that he has received from politicians here in America, publicly.
Statements by the Vice President Biden saying, for instance, that I was a high-tech terrorist.
Sarah Palin calling to our organization to be dealt with like the Taliban and be hunted down.
There's a hold either for my assassination or the assassination of my staff or for us to be kidnapped and renditioned back to the United States to be executed.
Wow, so that's some pretty heavy stuff that you expose some malfeasance of a couple of governments, maybe some banks, and they threaten to kill you and hunt you down like the al-Qaeda.
They say this publicly, and here's what the journalist from 60 Minutes says about that.
Well, as you know, we have a First Amendment and people can say whatever they want, including politicians.
Look, if you play outside the rules, you can't expect to be protected by the rules, and you played outside the rules.
Oh, you've played outside the United States' rules.
No, there's a special set of rules in the United States for disclosing classified information.
There is.
Okay, I just want to just double-check here.
Steve Croft, there's a First Amendment that covers death threats made by politicians publicly at journalists, doesn't cover journalism.
Okay, that's great.
That's a great point that Steve Croft just made there.
There are rules that govern what Julian Assange is doing, he says.
Rules he can't articulate or even say what they are or where they came from, but they exist and everybody knows about them.
You just have to trust that they exist, and even though they don't, which is why he can't say what they are or where they came from right now.
Again, First Amendment for death threats and slander, not for journalism.
Paul, you want to say something?
He is practicing the First Amendment.
Yes.
That's what Julian Assange is doing because they're not doing their job.
And yet Steve Croft, ironically, is telling him that the death threats are covered by the First Amendment.
Yes.
So why don't they have a mutilated Cambodian child defending Steve Croft's position and say, well, you know, you really shouldn't have ever released the Pentagon papers because things were really going well in my village.
And it was very, it was a classified document.
You had to go and go outside the rules.
Yeah, I love that.
Well, first of all, the rules are okay.
You can publish stuff like that.
First of all, it wasn't even top secret information.
It was just classified.
So Steve Cross is 100% wrong.
And the reason why they can't, they're having a hard time prosecuting Julian Assange.
There's a couple of reasons.
One of the reasons is the New York Times also published.
And he even mentions that in this report.
And he doesn't go, woo, I guess he didn't do anything wrong because the New York Times are doing it.
And you know that nobody's going to prosecute the New York Times.
Let's just, I have two more clips to play.
So here he is explaining to Steve Croft.
No, we've actually played inside the rules.
We didn't go out to get the material.
We operated just like any U.S. publisher operates.
We didn't play outside the rules.
We play inside the rules.
And there's been no precedent that I'm aware of in the past 50 years of prosecuting a publisher for espionage.
It is just not done.
Those are the rules.
You do not do it.
So Julian Assange then had to tell Steve Croft, he had to school him on the rules of journalism, which he just did on 60 Minutes, and they left it in.
And I hate to call you on what it means to be a journalist and stuff, Mr. Croft, seeing as you're the established badass of journalism and all, but the First Amendment still does apply.
And thanks for the propaganda and no acknowledgement that you were wrong and Assange is right about the rules of journalism and that he is making you look irrelevant to the point that he's being credited with starting a revolution in Tunisia.
Yes, his journalism is being credited with starting a revolution in Tunisia.
And the revolution in Tunisia is being started first being cited for starting the revolution in Egypt and then Jordan and now Yemen.
That's right.
A guy with a website and barely classified material is able to create a change in the Middle East that all the power of America, military, industrial complex, couldn't bring about for the last 50 years.
Yeah, that's right, Steve.
So you better discredit him and you better do it good.
What do you think Steve Croft is going to say next after he just got handed his ass about the rules of journalism?
Well, here's what he says.
But you are screwing with the forces of nature.
You have made some of the most powerful people in the world your enemies.
You had to expect that they might retaliate.
You took, you gathered, you stored all sorts of classified cables and documents and then released them to the world on the internet.
They see that as a threat.
So I don't know if you, if that's, what does that sound like?
You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I alone have it.
Okay, I don't know if that's something.
Does that sound a little bit like that?
In fact, he used the exact, the exact wording.
But you were screwing with the forces of nature.
Okay.
That's the journalist from 60 Minutes sounding like Ned Beatty from Network.
How in danger is democracy when truth is the enemy?
That's according to 60 Minutes.
This guy's a subversive.
He's a terrorist.
He should be prosecuted.
He's doing things that are dangerous.
He's operating outside the rules.
And they're saying that because Julian Assange is showing the American corporate news media that they are irrelevant, that they don't matter, and that there's going to be real journalists out there, even if they don't.
And by the way, when he says you're operating outside the rules, you know, the New York Times has recently set up the same kind of system that WikiLeaks uses.
So now you can send them material unsolicited.
They haven't set it up, but they're definitely going to set it up.
And then they have to run it by their board of directors.
It's going to take forever to make sure.
I hate to let the air out of this argument a little bit, but Julian Assange, strictly speaking, he did play outside the rules.
I think we all remember that when Robert Novak leaked Valerie Plame's name in his column.
Remember how he died in prison?
Yeah.
So I don't see why there should be a difference.
Hey, you know what?
Bill O'Reilly called in and he gave me a phone message from Bill O'Reilly.
Hang on a minute.
Thor, this is Bill O'Reilly.
I just got a call from Fox Security telling me that you and the tinheads on your show are laughing it up because I know that even if the moon controls the tides, God still had to make the moon.
Sorry, pal.
No other possible explanation for it.
End of story.
So you left-wing elitists can suck on that for a while.
No other explanation for the moon.
Had to be got.
Now, if any of the socialist loons in your audience change their minds and want the truth about stuff like this, I suggest they purchase a premium membership to billoilly.com, which is $49.95, gets you a full year's membership and includes great features like members-only message boards, full access to the Radio Factor archive, and the new factor Loofer, the latest offering in the Bed and Bath section of the O'Reilly online store.
Go to billo Reilly.com and join today.
And God made the moon.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly calling in.
I feel like he snuck a little sales pitch in there.
He's always a capitalist.
Now, what do you got against making a profit?
Is what I'm saying.
You know what?
Mubarak called me again.
Jimmy, this is Hosni Mubarak again.
One thing I also want to address: I'm sick of people saying that they look like Butch Patrick, the kid who played Eddie Munster.
That is insulting.
I have spent long hours and much of my national treasury cultivating my current look, which I would describe as that of a young Grandpa Al Lewis.
Oh, also, I'm sorry, Anderson Cooper got dropped up a little bit.
My people must have thought he was Julian Assange.
I think it's a hair thing.
If you happen to run into Steve Martin or Ted Dunson, tell them they should probably stay out of Egypt for the time being.
Okay, call me back.
Okay, I have to get back to Hosni.
I haven't.
Yeah.
I haven't.
Well, you know what?
Before we move on to Egypt, because I know Paul wants to talk about Egypt.
We are definitely going to talk about Egypt today.
Bill O'Reilly had something else.
Thor, it's O'Reilly again.
So now I hear all the left-wing loons going on about this prevailing theory that the moon formed as a result of a giant impact between a Mars-sized body and the nearly formed proto-Earth.
Well, let me ask you this.
Were you there?
No.
So how do you and your pinhead scientist friends know?
The answer, you don't.
So do me a favor and quit spouting off about the moon all the time.
If you want to turn your life around, you ought to get in on this premium membership deal we got going over on billo riley.com.
You buy a four years membership for $49.95.
You get daily analysis of news stories in the New Spin Zone.
My radio talking points memo online.
And the official Bill O'Reilly home enema kit.
Comes with the nozzle, the hose, everything you need.
And an instruction manual featuring pictures of me demonstrating all the recommended positions for proper deployment.
So send your pinhead listeners over to billoilly.com today.
And I'll try to tell me about some explosion that made the moon.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly calling in.
Now we're going to shift gears.
We're going to talk about Egypt.
Okay, now there's a lot of ramifications that could be coming from Egypt.
Now, Paul, you're pretty, you've read a lot of books about the Mideast.
I know that.
I know you read the paper at least 15 minutes a day, which is important.
You've almost got it right.
I have looked at a lot of cartoons that have Egyptian characters in them.
Me too.
Now you have a newspaper with you.
Is that from the past?
Where did you get that from?
Are you a time traveler?
This is today's.
Get out of here.
New York Times.
That's the first time you're kidnapping, and that's what you're going to hold up in the kidnapping.
That's right.
So you ask you, what does the arts and leisure section say about Egypt?
It says that the Sphinx is out.
Oh, the Sphinx is very 2010.
Well, that makes my Sphinx tighten up.
I'll tell you that.
But, Paul, when you have a program on your computer that takes and prints out the newspaper, how does that work?
Oh, no, I have this delivered to my house, Jimmy.
What?
Somebody else prints it on their computer and then they delete my.
I don't know how they print it, but it arrives on my driveway.
I don't know how.
Why with the extra labor and all the wasting of paper?
What's that about?
That makes me feel good about myself.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's good.
Tell me what happened to now.
Do you know how what started?
Now, they're saying that the WikiLeaks is being credited with starting the uprising in Tunisia, and then that started the uprising in Egypt.
Did you hear about it?
I wasn't aware that WikiLeaks had anything to do with it.
What I read, what happened in Tunisia, was there was a vendor that was tired of being beaten by the police, went to the government and tried to plead his case for the nth time and poured lighter fluid on himself, lit himself on fire, became a hero.
Some people gathered, Al Jazeera picked it up, spread it around, and people started organizing on Facebook, and they organized, had these huge protests, brought down the Tunisian government.
Al Jazeera carried that, and then it spread to other countries who said maybe this is our time.
Any truth to the rumor that that guy lit himself on fire just for the ladies?
Wow.
Wow, that even crosses my line.
That crossed a couple of lines.
Oh, did I?
No, that's what I heard.
That's just a rumor, you guys.
That's what I read it at redstate.com.
Oh, okay.
That's a rumor.
I didn't say I'm asking.
I'm asking if there's any truth to it.
I'm not saying that.
It sounds like there was not any truth.
Don't shoot the messenger, you guys.
Come on.
Certainly don't set him on fire.
I'm asking questions.
I'm just asking questions.
Incredibly loaded the question.
To me, the biggest lesson out of this is when are we going to learn to stop backing the wrong horse because we're short-sighted, because we're so afraid of letting nature take its course with democracy.
We want to force our version of democracy.
If we hadn't been backing Hosni Mubarak and his prisons and the torture that's gone on there for 30 years, there wouldn't be the anti-American sentiment that there is now.
But we're so afraid to possibly let Islamists gain some political foothold that we keep backing these dictators.
I don't think we're any more afraid of Islamists getting a foothold than we are of anyone that might sort of stick up for their own country as opposed to.
Anyone who might nationalize any resources.
Yeah.
And anyone who we can't directly control.
Yeah.
But that's the thing.
Short-term thinking is the national pastime.
That's why every politician that says, I'm going to run a government like a business, that means like a quarter at a time.
Nobody takes the love view of anything ever.
Whichever, ever.
Right.
Which is the problem with American business.
It's run quarterly and it's not run by a decade for the world.
Foreign policy, too.
Like, how do we plug this leak right now and then forget, like, don't worry about the consequences?
Yeah.
Well, look, to be fair, I really understand foreign policy up to this point has been like very much like we're terrified of the devil we don't know.
And I get it, but the thing is, is that we're at a crossroads now where the last 50, 60 years of bad foreign policy should be teaching us, like, you can stand in the way of this, but it's going to come back.
You know, I mean, I think that Mubarak should be doing, and what the Bush, what the Obama administration should be doing is aggressively confronting the demonstrators.
Oh!
My God!
We cut that in earlier?
We could get that.
We can get that.
But he says more.
If we encourage the Mubarak supporters to refrain from controversy or even from violence, we really are opening the door to Islamic fundamentalist domination.
If Obama is so concerned about this, where was he when they were doing the same stuff in Iran?
In Iran, he didn't lift a finger.
And there were these massive street demonstrations.
What is he only opposed America's allies and not our enemies?
Does he have any history of Iran?
The fact that we organized the coup that Ausch did the first democratically elected president of Iran installed the Shah.
Does he not understand any of that?
Where was Obama during that?
You tell me that, huh?
Where was he?
Where was Obama during that?
Where was he during?
Okay, I got one more call from Bill O'Reilly.
Door, O'Reilly.
Apparently, you pinheads still haven't gotten the message.
Still clinging to that ridiculous science theory that the moon is the result of some big explosion.
You got to be a real coop to believe that.
At some point, you're going to have to accept the truth that anything I don't have first-hand knowledge of has to be the work of God.
The moon?
That's God.
The sun?
Also God.
Where does all the snow go when winter's over?
God takes it.
Why is there always one sock missing when you do laundry?
Because of God.
Why haven't more of the lame brains?
And your audience bought themselves premium memberships to BillO'Reilly.com.
Only God knows.
For just $49.95 a year, they get exclusive photos of yours, truly.
Weekly backstage webcasts.
And for a limited time only, I will personally record the outgoing voicemail message.
And fuck it, I'll do it live.
So just to sum up, moon, sun, snow, socks.
That's all God.
BillO'Reilly.com.
Okay, all right.
And this is the Jimmy Dore Show on Pacifica.
Music playing
Hi, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I am in studio with Ben Zelovanski from Ben and Alex.tv, Paul Gilmartin, the host of Dinner and a Movie on TBS, and you can find him at askarepublican.com.
But please remember, he's not a real Republican.
And next to me is Robert Yasimura, Robert Yasimura from teamyasamura.com, Twittering like nobody's business, one of the funniest Twitterers out there.
I'm not a good Twitter, although I do try.
By the way, Jimmy Door Comedy at Twitter, and I'm trying, so encourage me.
And, you know, I have a fan page at Facebook, and you can get it.
If you missed any part of the show, it's always available for free as a podcast.
You go to iTunes, you can find it there, the Jimmy Doer show, or you can go to JimmyDoorComedy.com and click on subscribe.
I also do another podcast where I interview some of the top comedians in the country, like Brian Regan, Joan Rivers, Colin Quinn, Patton Oswald, Oswald, Paul F. Tompkins, lots of Maria Bamford, Janine Garofilo, Norm McDonald's, Jim Gaffey Gan.
Everybody's on that show.
Comedy and everything else.
You can find that all over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
But right now, let's get back.
We finished.
We were talking about when we left, we were talking about Egypt and what's going on.
And, you know, we're all afraid what's going to happen, right?
But Glenn Beck, I think he has it figured out what's going to be the final, what's going to happen the result of all this.
Here we go.
That there are three powers that you will see really emerge.
One, a Muslim caliphate that controls the Mideast and parts of Europe.
Two, China that will control Asia, the southern half of Africa, part of the Middle East, Australia, maybe New Zealand, and God only knows what else.
So he's saying that's coming out of this is China is going to control half of Africa, Australia, New Zealand.
I'm going to throw New Zealand.
Probably New Zealand, and who knows what else.
Well, if they're going to take Australia, why would you stop New Zealand?
Right.
You make the flight.
You might as well.
They're going to take.
I'm going to throw a little like Fu Young on the Barbie.
There's a little bit more.
And you know what that means, folks?
No more Lord of the Rings movies.
Hold on.
Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands?
Not really sure.
But their strong arm is coming.
That leaves us and South America.
What happens to us?
Oh.
God, he's just.
He's right.
It is critical that you understand the situation.
He's a homeless person with a microphone and a chalkboard.
This is another, oh my God, for Paul Gilmart.
I didn't.
Can I finish it?
Let me finish this.
America.
What happens to us?
It is critical that you understand the situation in Egypt.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe.
Please, God.
Maybe.
It's critical that you understand the situation because I certainly don't.
So you don't think any of that's going to happen?
You guys don't think that's going to happen?
No, I think it will.
There's going to be a new world.
No, I think Blade Runner is going to happen before that happens.
I feel like everyone's probably going to duke it out over New Zealand.
Oh, okay.
That's what I would, you know, because that beautiful there.
Fly to Concords.
Yeah.
I'm a big fan, and I don't want to see them being taken over by the Chinese.
Right.
I'll tell you that, right?
He's like talking about soil and green.
That was like the story he was telling.
He is so paranoid and grandiose.
It's cemented.
Like he's really.
Yeah.
I can't believe he's actually losing audience, which he is, because, you know, usually the crazier you get, the more audience you'll garner.
Yeah.
But I can't believe that the people who liked him at first don't anymore.
I mean, who could stop, you know what I mean?
How could you like it and then stop?
Oh, I like when he's 95% insane, but 100%.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, but I got one more call from Umbarak.
Hello, Jimmy.
It's Hosni.
Why haven't you called me back?
I hope you're not tweeting me.
Let's just say I haven't been able to check my mentions in the past few days.
Anyway, I forgot to tell you, I also want to defend the decision I made to appoint my chief of intelligence to the position of vice president.
Everyone is making a big, hairy deal out of this.
Like an American leader would never do something like that.
Ronald Reagan.
So there's that.
And I'm also dying to talk idle with someone.
Can you believe that Stephen Tyler is eclipsing J-Lo as everybody's favorite judge?
That really ticks me off.
I remember that one summer where I played Jenny from the block on a loop until the CD wore out.
She's fantastic.
Anyway, call me back.
Let's set up this interview.
Okay, that's Hosni.
I like it.
I had no idea he was a J-Lo fan.
Yo, I didn't know he liked Idol.
I saw that.
If nothing else, have him on for the Idol segment.
We should have him on for the Idol segment.
A megalomaniac who's into J-Lo.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
Paul, you had me read a couple of things about the effects on Israel.
Can you speak a little bit about what people are saying to that?
Well, Israel, I think, is freaking out right now because they've had a peace deal with Egypt for the last 30 years, so they've been very comfortable with Mubarak being in power because he's not.
Well, that's what Dick Morris is speaking to.
It's crazy in one aspect, but in another aspect, he's basically just endorsing the policy we've had for the last 30 years in Egypt, which is support Mubarak and use brutal tactics to suppress any kind of democracy.
Right.
But shouldn't 2 million people flooding a square tell you that that policy isn't working?
Yeah, how crazy that they just wrote in on camels and horses and just, and they didn't have guns.
They just started beating people with like makeshift.
They've shortened their swords.
Yeah.
Like, why wouldn't they use guns?
Because I think that the firearms laws in Egypt are such that if they used guns, it really would have been out in the open, like, oh, these are hard.
So they were afraid that maybe that's when the government would step in?
No, no, no, no.
The guys who wrote in on the camels were the pro-Mubarak.
No, I mean, that's what they thought the military would step in if they brought guns because those are all cops.
No, I think that's more that the international community would have stepped in.
And matter of fact, I think that's why they want the journalists to out is because they don't want anybody to see what's about to happen.
All right, you know what?
We're up against that.
You know, I have an interview.
We talked with Greg Proups earlier this week, and we sat down with him, and we split up the interview over the last program and this one.
And we're going to go to that right now.
We got about 10 minutes with Greg Proups, and we're going to pick it up.
We were talking about the Supreme Court and Greg's views on the Supreme Court.
Now, if you don't know Greg Proups, what the hell is the matter with you?
I know who Greg Proups from his work on whose land it is in any way in the States and also in England.
Plus, I think you know him from his work on Nickelodeon.
He's done a lot of stuff.
He's got a new - the big thing I want to tell people about.
He's got his new podcast called The Smartest Man in the World, Greg Proups, which is available at iTunes.
Now, let's go to our interview with Greg right now.
It used to be, it seemed to me that when someone would get on the court, if they were conservative, it seemed like it always mellowed them.
Like it always kind of brought them, except lately.
Except, you know, Alito Robertson Scalia and Thomas.
It's like these, those guys are just what is that?
So now they obviously have intellect, so I've always wondered that.
It's like we were talking off the air about how we'll talk to people who are otherwise very smart, but when it comes to talking about their politics, they just stop using logic and they'll just be kind of blockheaded about it.
And it's frustrating.
And how do you deal with that kind of a thing?
Well, I mean, on the court, there's no way to get around it.
Scalia is highly educated, and Roberts is very smart as well.
Kennedy, I would say, is bright.
He was a professor.
Thomas, I would argue, might be one of the worst justices we've ever put on the court.
Ever.
Never asks a question.
Never asks a question.
He uses his position to clout his politics.
He's not a responsive justice in any way.
He doesn't write any salient decisions.
His tenure on the court is going to go down as a very particularly in light of the fact that he egregiously called it a high-tech lynching when everybody opposed him.
And he came after Thurgood Marshall, who might be one of the most respected and considered justices that ever sat on the court.
Thurgood Marshall enacted so much major judicial action and really the heart and soul of what we all want the court to be, which is to actually represent everyone.
That's what the court can do.
The court can advocate for everyone.
And they don't.
We've had now the, forget what they call it when they can just take your property.
Eminent domain.
Eminent domain.
The recent one last year about the donations.
Oh, making Citizens United.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, those are openly political corporate plays.
And so was the, I mean, so was Bush v.
Gore.
I mean, you know, when you turn your governing, you know, your judicial principles, what you've stated them to be on their head for no particular reason.
And then say this is not setting any precedent here.
And we're not saying that Stevens has said it, and I think even Kennedy.
Kennedy, they thought, would flip if they had one more day.
That's been well documented.
They stopped arguing because for some reason they'd throw the time thing at us.
Like, we have to do this.
When, of course, the beauty of our government is if there was no President succeeding, the president sitting stays president.
Bill Clinton would have been president until June or July.
That's how that works.
And they weren't going to need the government.
It's not like they were going to get anywhere near January 20th, even.
No.
Like they needed a couple of more days, but there was this phony time pressure.
Well, obviously they chewed that one big time.
And when it all gets written down, and it's starting to already, that'll be the worst decision that court ever made.
And Rehnquist.
But I think we know now Rehnquist was real high on drugs.
Because if you look back on his tenure and then the medication he was taking, he was hurting.
Really?
You think he was?
Yeah, no, you can go back and look over.
Just look up Rehnquist and prescription medicine.
Okay.
He might have been on the wrong for 20 years since.
And Reagan's the one who bumped him up to be the Chief Justice.
And then he fantastically at the impeachment hearing wore the gold braids.
What I used to say was he thought he was in an operetta by Gilbert and Sullivan.
I thought he had some kind of endorsement deal with Adidas.
You know?
Just do it.
Let me play a year.
I guess he didn't wear a wig.
I wish they would.
If nothing else, can everyone just start wearing the wigs again?
No.
I do miss the wigs.
Let me play a clip for you.
This is David Fromm.
Well, I hope I'm not imagining this, but I do feel in the air a kind of gear shift that's taken place in the last week, and partly in response to this terrible tragedy in Tucson.
And I'm not a regular watcher of every episode of Glenn Beck, but my impression has been there's been a little bit more self-empowerment on that show recently and a little less paranoia.
Okay, well, that's now that that's David Fromm, the guy who's saying that he's not a big watcher of Glenn Beck, but he thinks he thinks that he's a little less paranoid lately, a little less crazy.
So here's Glenn Beck talking about Barack Obama's State of the Union.
This is before he did the speech.
You'll never guess how many pillars the president is going to focus on tonight.
Yeah.
Five.
The five pillars.
See, I mean, you're upsetting the bunny, really.
Really?
Has anybody ever heard of the five pillars of Islam?
Okay.
So there you go.
He's just trying to.
But is that paranoid or just dementia?
A lot less, lot less paranoid.
You guys, he's such a, you know, my goodness.
He laughs when he talks.
He has puppets and whatnot.
It's the morning zoo.
Yeah.
It's a good time.
And he was a morning zoo guy, right?
It's a good time to entertainment for those who.
Are you as amused by the Fox News as the rest of us?
Well, I mean, I don't think it's a powerful force for good or anything.
I do go on Red Eye, which is on late at night there.
I go on there, yeah.
Yeah, and I think that's one of the more freewheeling comedy shows on TV.
I will say that for Fox News.
I love Greg Gutfeld on that show, and I love all the guys on that show.
And they let you say things.
He sets you up nice, doesn't it?
Yeah, they let you say things that so-called liberal media shows wouldn't.
Oh, really?
I think, don't you think?
I've never been abashed about my opinion.
No, I've never been.
No, and they don't hammer you for it.
And like, it's supposed to be a comedy show on a right-wing thing, and they do go, you know, like, job, Shirley McLean.
You know, that's how they, you know, they really load it up.
But then they also kind of argue, and they always have lots of haughty, right-wing girls on the show.
That's the shtick, SC cat band girls, you know, the ones with good legs.
Yes.
But having said that, I always find his show really fun to do because he'll let you say anything.
And I think he's braver.
Now, mind you, they're on a three in the bloody morning.
So they can.
But he's braver than a lot of people.
Because other shows will go, we really wish you wouldn't talk about that.
He's like more.
Now, what do you think?
You know, I always, we rail on Brian Williams on this show a lot because, you know, we seem like he took to us, he's William Hurt in broadcast news.
You know, he's the guy who just, he's the devil in a sense that he's going to lower your standards a little bit every day.
And you're not going to notice, and he's going to be affable.
And just what, you know, Albert Brooks said, you think when the devil comes, he's going to have horns.
Now, I'm not saying Brian Williams is a devil.
That's not exact.
He's a swell guy.
He's a great guy.
I'm saying that the systematic lowering of our standards is the evil that's happening in our corporate news media.
Would you agree with that?
I would, of course.
And funny that Katie Couric doesn't get cast the same way, that she actually, as much as everybody wanted to hate her, has risen a little bit.
She's kind of have an intellect.
I will say she upped her game.
When she's the one nailing Sarah Palin, and when I use the word nailing, I mean asking a legitimate question that anyone could be able to respond to.
Anyone on the street, where do you get your information?
But she did.
She gets it from all the magazines.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, when nailing Sarah Palin consists of asking her what newspapers you read, wholly, I mean, what does that tell you about the political evidence?
That's what I mean about the dumbing down, man.
Yeah, like that nail.
Oh, she asked her what she reads.
Look out.
Get the Peabody out of the line.
Yeah, what does she call it?
The lay media lamestream media.
Yes.
Almost rhymes.
Well, you know, you can't expect intellect anymore, and that's the problem.
The World War II generation of reporters that were still going when we were little, when I was little, you guys, I'm not presuming everyone's my age, 100.
But Eric Severide was on TV and Walter Cronkite.
Yes.
And Huntley and Brinkley, and then followed by John Chancellor.
And they were all fairly considered guys.
Now all white guys, I grant you, and only three networks giving an opinion.
And that opinion was very similar on all three networks.
Having said that, they came from a generation of journalists where they actually were out in the field and wrote their own stories when they were young men.
And that's all gone.
Yeah, they're not news reporters.
They're news readers.
Yeah, I mean, some people.
Can you think of a story?
I mean, I can think of a story that even Geraldo Rivera broke that actually changed things in society.
When he went into the mental house, that's the story that shaded his career, right?
But what did Brian Williams ever do?
What story did he ever break?
Well, even if you go back to just Peter Jennings and Tom Brokhan down, rather, the last generation that got bumped out.
Right.
Dan Routher was in Vietnam live.
Dan Rather was at the civil rights marches.
Peter Jennings, you can see in the middle of riots and civil rights marches, there he is as a young reporter.
Oh, really?
That kind of experience and perspective on the news is something that isn't necessary anymore to be that filled-up position.
Well, when you experience that stuff firsthand, also, it's hard to maintain that fake objectivity.
Yes.
What's the other side of the people beating us over the heads?
What do they say?
Yeah.
You cover things like that.
But I mean, Brian Williams, I don't think he's a stupid guy, but I don't think the boat is going to be rocked.
You mustn't look to him.
Right.
Well, that's what I mean.
There's nowhere to look.
And now Keith Olperman's gone and people demonized him as quickly as they could.
Wow, people turned on him quickly.
I know you got it out, but I want to just say one thing about Keith Oberman.
He gets demonized because everyone just remembers him as this sort of blowhardy, left-wing, emotional cry dude.
Phil Donahue was fired.
Yes.
Summarily.
Right before Oberman was hired.
Oberman had no background in politics on TV.
He came as a sports reporter.
Yes.
And he took it upon himself to take that onus on him to defy the government.
And the one thing that I love about him more than anything else, never mind the puffery and all the silliness.
He would take Bush or whomever it was to task and was doing it up till he stopped.
When they would use something like 9-11 for political gain, then they would do some egregious taste thing.
Never mind the worst person in the world and all the yelling and screaming.
That's the fun DJ part.
He would, at the end of the show, sometimes just go, how dare you insult all of our intelligence.
And I loved him for that.
Because it reminded me of, and obviously he was reminding himself of the old school of Moreau and all that.
To be able to just come on TV and go, don't do that.
That long last is Jesse McCarthy.
I mean, as you can see, I hate no decency.
We have to rap, but I remember as a kid, even the local news would have an editorial every show.
They would have an editorial.
And they don't do that anymore.
I mean, Brian Williams would never editorial.
He'd be like, I'm editorial.
Yes, why don't go ahead.
You've earned your creed, and we've given our trust to you.
Now, why don't you spend some of your capital that you have with us?
Anyway, Greg Proops has been our guest.
Thank you very much.
It's always a delight.
We can check out GregProops.com.
Is that it?
Yeah.
GregProops.com.
You can check out his new podcast, The Smartest Man in the World, available on iTunes.
Thanks for being with us, buddy.
Thanks, Dallas.
Okay, that was Greg Proops.
You can see him at GregProops.com.
Thanks for stopping in.
love them and before...
Hold up.
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
It's Moron.
Hey, Moron.
How's it going, buddy?
Ah, Jimmy.
You know me.
I'm a good American.
I vote against my own economic interest, and I'm easily manipulated to be angry at those less fortunate than me.
But I do take comfort in the fact that my Lord Jesus the Christ hates exactly the same people that I hate.
All right, so what's a boy, busy week.
What's been going on, buddy?
No, crazy with Egypt, right?
Yeah, what do you think about what's happening?
What did I think?
Yeah.
What do you think?
I don't even know there was an Egypt anymore.
I thought Egypt was old time, like Old Testament.
I didn't know there was even still an Egypt.
Wow, so this had to be extra surprising for you then, right?
That's still part of it.
I know.
Therese saw the pyramids on the news.
Did you see them, Jim?
They look just like in the movie.
Yeah, I saw a moron.
Yes, they look just like in the movies, Therese, the pyramids.
What do you think about the Egypt, moron?
Well, I don't know.
I was watching Fox News, and Glenn Beck says that China's going to take over Australia.
And I was like, hey, who cares?
And then Sean Hannity says that this isn't good for some reason and that we need to start bombing Iran because of this.
I don't get that, but I don't mind bombing Iran.
Well, it's just that the people want democracy.
They want to be able to vote and choose their own leaders.
That's all.
And people like Sean Hannity are afraid of that because they're going to choose a government that's not friendly to their interests.
But it is an expression of democracy, Moron.
That's what it is.
Hey, why are you coming at me?
I didn't even know there was Egypt until this thing started.
Oh, you know, Moron, you have sound happier.
I was just happy.
Yeah, I was happy anyway that Kentucky just passed that law that says if you're on welfare or unemployment, that you got to take a drug test.
Oh, that's too bad.
Before you get your benefits, I was like, yeah, for about time, somebody had some balls to stand up to those people.
To the what?
To those people on welfare?
Somebody finally said.
No, you know what I mean.
No, I don't know what you mean.
It sounds like you're vilifying.
You're vilifying the poor, isn't it?
No, just the ones that abuse it.
Because a few abuse it, everybody has to be.
Which is the majority.
The majority is the people.
That's right.
No, Moron.
The majority don't abuse it.
Oh, Dad, then how do we get to second and third generation of people onto welfare?
Well, you know, you don't actually get that anymore, Moron.
What?
No, because Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton.
Yeah, Bill Clinton ended welfare as we knew it.
So now the maximum you can stay on is five years.
Is that true, Jim?
Yes, that's true, Moron.
Jim.
Yes, Moron.
Five years.
How come if you could only stay on five years, they stay on their whole life, the poor people and the blacks.
Oh, there we go.
So it's, you know, you know, Moron, that's a, I think a lot of people think that most people who are on welfare, or a lot of white people anyway, that's me, might think that the people on welfare are mostly black, but you know that the majority of people aren't black.
There's more white people on welfare than black.
Did you know that?
No, Jim.
Come on.
Jim.
Come on.
Well, come on, what?
That's not an argument, Moron.
Come on.
And, you know, if you ask me a question, I'm going to give you the factual, accurate answer, which is that there are actually more white people on welfare roles than black.
Well, if you ask me, I would say more black people, and that doesn't make me racist.
Have you ever known anybody on welfare, moron?
No.
I never knew anybody on welfare.
What are you talking about?
You are a workman's cop.
That's hard for what?
Eight months?
Terese, that workman's cop isn't welfare.
That was, uh, you know, I got hurt.
You weren't hurt, Terese.
We're talking about welfare.
How many of your family's on unemployment?
Again, Terese, that's not the same thing.
How many assistants on Medicaid?
Terese, that's different, too.
It's because her kid has that condition and can't get insurance.
So she had to quit her job so she could go into Medicaid.
This is not the same thing.
Wow, so it sounds like you do know a lot of people who've needed assistance over the years.
Yeah, needed assistance, not welfare for life, like those other people.
Maureen, do you know that they did studies, over 100 studies, and that showed that most people who are on welfare go on and off welfare within two years?
That's the majority of the people.
Did you know that?
Jim, again, if you're asking me, I would say I don't believe that.
And that most people find being on welfare a humiliating experience and they can't wait to get off and they would take jobs if they were available and paid more than they were getting on welfare.
The welfare, by the way, that for most of the people didn't even cover their rent and their utilities, meaning they ran out of money by the end of the month for food.
Yeah, well, that's because they're spending it all on flat screen TVs and satellite dishes.
But, Maureen, where do you get this information?
That's how I know.
So you're just off of something your brother said, some anecdote that your brother said?
Yeah, that's right.
Off an anecdote.
Anecdote.
What the hell is this?
Therese, that's a gyro bowl.
What's that?
Morin, what is it?
Yeah, I got her a gyro bowl.
What's a gyro bowl?
You're tired of, you know, you're eating a cereal and then you spill it?
Yeah.
Well, this helps to save that.
Especially if you have kids, right, Terese, when you watch your niece, Eddie, you could use the gyro bowl so she doesn't spill over the stuff.
It's great.
It's great.
You're tired of that, right?
Watching kids dump all their food all over the floor.
Well, say he'll order the gyro bowl, Jim.
Okay, I will.
It's an auto-stabilizing, safe, plastic bowl that will always stay right side up, no matter how you carry it or how your kid punches it around.
Well, can you tell?
How does it work?
Well, it works just like a globe.
A globe?
Yeah, that's what they said in the infomercial, and it's 100% kid-proof.
I guess that's important.
It's the gyro bowl.
You never heard of it?
No, I never heard of the gyro bowl.
Well, it used to be called the looper bowl.
The looper?
Never heard of that?
No, never.
Before that, it was the gizmo bowl.
Okay, I never heard of it.
Now they call it the gyro ball.
And it's safe, fun, and it can be used virtually any way.
Either with your kids, at the office, during a picnic.
Anywhere you need to keep your food safe from spilling, Jim, you use the gyro bowl.
Damn it!
What happened?
I spilled it!
Therese, you're supposed to use the gyro bowl!
The gyro pizza flash!
You use it, it won't spill!
I hope you guys!
What do you aim for?
I get you guys!
I work hard and get unite, I think.
You work hard, and that's why I get you guys.
I gotta go.
I work hard and I use it!
I love you for it!
Oh, I love you too.
Oh, that was a little bit of a different ending.
It's how they can change their emotion on a dime, is what I like about it.
Oh, Valentine's Day is right around the corner.
Oh, that's right.
Therese and romance in the air.
Oh, I wonder what he's going to get her for Valentine's Day.
A lot of pressure on that.
This is going to be very amazing.
All right.
I wanted to let everybody know that February 10th, which is this Thursday coming up, is going to be at the Flappers Comedy Club.
We're telling jokes.
You know who's going to be on that show?
Jimmy Doerr, Jen Kirkman, Bill Burr, Robert Yasimura, maybe somebody else, and another person.
But that's going to be a good show.
Jen Kirkman, Bill Burr.
They're all right.
They're all right.
They're okay.
Jen Kirkman from Chelsea lately, Bill Burr from BillBurr.com.
And by the way, I need to change.
I just have to go on the record and say I am against everybody in this room on the Croft interview.
My position was completely different.
Yeah.
I know you were.
But I stayed quiet because I, but I, and I won't go into it.
Yeah.
It's okay, Rob.
You know, the beauty, I think one of the signs of intelligence is recognizing when you're wrong.
It's true.
And keeping your mouth shut because of it.
And that's what you did today.
And I appreciate it.
I think we all appreciated you not disagreeing with us in an unfunny way that dragged the show down.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
How about you, Ben?
Did you want to disagree with the Steve Croft point in an unfunny way?
In an unfunny way?
Can I play devil's advocate?
The only thing I would have a problem with is if he is endangering somebody by revealing secrets.
Yes.
Not somebody breaking laws, but I know what you're saying.
Somebody who's working with the American government who might, just like a Valerie Plame situation is what you're saying.
Yes, yeah.
And you know, of course, the government is accusing him of doing that.
He said he didn't do that and that he's been redacted.
So you know what?
There's more to that interview.
I'm actually going to.
How about the fact that he revealed that we underestimated or underreported 100,000 civilian deaths in the Iraq war?
Yes.
And Steve Crofts never didn't go.
Now he says maybe that's a good thing.
We caught our government lying about 100.
You know, that's 30 times the number of people that died in 9-11.
Real quick, 60 Minutes gave Julian Assange a forum.
And Julie, and if you listen to that interview, they tee up Julian Assange to look great throughout the interview.
I really don't know what everybody's complaining about.
So Steve Cross decided to...
I agree with that.
Okay, so we're up against the card break.
And that's our show.
And I want to thank my guests today.
Steph Samurano, Paul Gilmartin, Robert Yasimura, Ben Zalavansky, Mike McRae doing the voice of Bill O'Reilly, Ben Zalavansky doing Hosni Mubarak.
What?
Uh-huh.
And I want to thank Greg Proups also for stopping by.
And that's it, I think.
It's Dan Stankos.
Thanks for his.
And oh, my producer, Ali Lexa, I almost forgot to mention him.
Under the weather, coming in, getting it done.
Thank you very much.
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